#totally different writing styles wow

[bumbalina]

omg rad bad blocked me and what do you know…blocked from havekat too 💀

[came-out-of-the-coffin-desisted]

finally, i’ve made my most pathetic skyrim character idea ever: dumbass apprentice dwemer who’s like “i have NO fucking clue where the dwarves went, how we went, or what the FUCK is going on here, but i DO think we gotta take over the world bc these nords are straight up bad at everything. now i just have to get back my entire species even though literally no one knows where they went” meanwhile akatosh goes “hey yknow what would be really funny”

[hallietblr]

my favourite birthday girl | j.fisher x reader

request: i would like to request can it be where jere and i are best friends and its my bday belly and conrad throw a surprise bday party for me at the becks beach house and jeremiah & i go upstairs and we go in his bedroom he confesses that he liked me since last summer and i have my first time with jere trying different sex positions like hes on top of me and im on top of him riding him & doing cowgirl style position lots of kissing can it be smut/angst and is it okay if i include my name and if not you can do y/n thanks babe❤️❤️❤️❤️🫶🏻🥰

a/n: i fricking LOVE this!! i had so much fun writing it and i hope you all enjoy!

warnings: SMUT (minors DNI), oral (fem! receiving), swearing, alcohol consumption, and jeremiah being a total sweetheart

—

the sun was shining brightly through the windows of my bedroom, the morning breeze coming through smelling of sea salt. i flutter my eyes open, taking in the warmth of the summer. i reach for my phone that was charging by my bed side. the moment the lockscreen wakes, it’s full of birthday messages.

i feel myself smile as i go through the individual texts from all my friends back home in maine. i respond to them all, thanking each of them for the kind and loving messages.

after doing so, i finally decide that it’s time for me to get out of bed. i stretch out the slumber from my body before crawling out of the warm bed. i grab my phone and my bluetooth speaker and head over to my bathroom to start my birthday right.

cruel summer by taylor swift starts playing loudly as i pull off my pajamas, which was in reality one of jeremiah’s old t-shirts. i decide to text my friends to see what the plans were for the day, assuming they had something in mind.

—

SUMMER GANG☀️🌊🫶

y/n!

goodmorning guys!! what are the plans for today?

stevie:

con and i are going fishing at the pier today

belly <3:

i told my mom that i’ll go to the store with her today!! sorry girl!

y/n!:

that’s fine haha have fun! tell laur i said hi:)

j:

i should be available today i think

connie:

i thought ur coming fishing?

stevie:

yeah!! boys trip!!

belly <3:

wow i’ve nvr seen us all so busy lol

j:

wdym it’s a regular day

connie:

nvm mom says u need to clean ur room jere

stevie:

LOL

belly <3:

so true, it’s gross jeremiah

j:

shut upp

urs isn’t any better bells

belly <3:

:(

y/n!:

stop being mean j

—

i close my phone, a bit disappointed that it appeared that all my friends forgot about my birthday. i try to shake it off and assume that they’re all busy, so remembering a birthday isn’t that big of a deal.

i step into my shower, washing my hair with my coconut shampoo and conditioner, lathering my body with body wash, and shaving every inch of my body. i sing to taylor swift as i shower, feeling my muscles relax in the warm water. i dry myself off with a towel and pull on a cute purple summer dress that i had gotten earlier last week.

after putting on some makeup and doing my hair, i figured that i was ready to go downstairs to see my family. at least they would remember my birthday.

you only turn seventeen once, plus laurel, susannah, and my mom always told me that seventeen is an amazing year.

my mom was preparing my favourite smoothie bowl when i got to the kitchen. her face lit up after seeing me turn the corner and a smile drawn up her face, “happy birthday, my babygirl!” she exclaimed, pulling me into a tight embrace.

i hug her back, “thank you, momma!”

she hands me the beautiful smoothie bowl, “here you go, sugar! let me go get you your presents!”

my mom scurries away to her office before returning with multiple gifts all wrapped up in colourful gift wrap. she places them on the kitchen island before sitting down beside me.

i was already half way done my breakfast when my dad and baby sister came into the kitchen.

“happy seventeenth, babydoll” my dad grins, planting a kiss on my forehead, “i can’t believe how grown up you are already.”

“happy birthday sissy!” my four year old sister yells, hugging my leg. i ruffle her hair, thanking the both of them.

my mom urges me to open up the presents, she had always been a huge gift giver — seeing people’s reactions were her favourite thing. i open the sealed boxes, revealing lululemon clothing, a new ipad, gorgeous jewelry, and some makeup products that i’ve been wanting to get.

“mom!” i exclaim, in shock of the overwhelming amount of gifts, “you didn’t have to!”

“oh, honey,” she coos, brushing my hair, “it’s your seventeenth birthday! of course i had to, do you like them?”

i look at her with my mouth opened agape, “yes, yes! of course i love them all! you know me so well, thank you!”

my arms wrap around my mom, squeezing her tight.

“my first baby,” she whispers into my ear so my sister, lindsay, doesn’t hear her, “i love you with my whole heart.”

i finish up the rest of my breakfast, while also admiring my new items. my dad also takes a few photos of us, most likely to post on his facebook page later. luckily, i look decent right now.

“eat up,” my dad says to me, “your friends are probably waiting for you.”

i shrug, “they’re all busy today.”

my mom turns to me with a raised eyebrow, “seriously? do you want me to call susannah?”

i shake my head quickly, “no! it’s alright, really.”

“i’m sorry, baby” my dad squeezes my shoulder, “you can hang out with us today.”

i give him a small smile, “that sounds good.”

the rest of the day was uneventful, well not exactly. it was moreso just a typical day for us. my sister and i went swimming in our pool, i watched tv with my parents, and scrolled through my phone a ton. i really didn’t want to confront my friends about them forgetting my birthday, it would’ve been immature was what i told myself. it’s not like i’m six anymore.

i was laying on my bed when i received a text message.

—

j:

heyy pretty

wanna come over? we just came back from fishing 🎣

y/n!:

sure :)

j:

awesome! see you soon!!

also wear something nice ;)

y/n!:

why?

j:

not that you don’t always look nice!!!

my mom wants to take photos or smt lol

y/n!:

oooook

—

my brows furrow in slight confusion of the request but i shrug it off. i get up from my laying position and go to my closet to find something ‘nice’. i find a black satin slip dress that i brought from back home, i figured this would be nice enough. i put it on and look at myself in front of my mirror.

i smooth down the material of the dress, checking how it looks from the side and from behind. i silently pray that jeremiah would like it, i’ve overheard him, conrad, and steven talk about how jeremiah is an ass man multiple times — considering how the satin material of the dress perfectly fits my bum, i’m convinced he’ll appreciate it.

i grab my phone, sunglasses, and my favourite lip gloss before heading downstairs. i see my parents cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie together with my sister fast asleep in the space next to them.

i slide on my white converse and head over to them, “i’m going over to the fishers.” i tell them. they smile and remind me to have fun and to be home by two am.

the walk over to the fisher summer home is brief, a quick five minute walk. them living only two houses over from mine always came in handy. i open up the front door before my vision became black.

“do you trust me?” he says, jeremiah’s hands clamped over my eyes.

“if you ruin my mascara, j, i might cry.” i joke, “yes, i do trust you.”

“okay, good.” i can hear his infamous smile in his voice, “come with me.”

he guides me slowly through the house, his hands still over my eyes. jeremiah lifts them off and it takes me a moment before noticing all the decorations put up around the kitchen. there are streamers hanging from the walls and across the ceilings, so many pretty balloons in every corner of the room, a huge ‘happy birthday’ sign hanging on the cupboards.

my hand flyes to clamp over my open mouth, “oh my god!”

steven, belly, laurel, susannah, and conrad all jump up from their hiding spot behind the kitchen island.

“surprise!” they all scream out. i smile widely, taking in everything,

“you guys!” i gush, as im being pulled into a hug from jeremiah, “thank you!”

his muscular arms hold me and he plants two kisses on my hair, “did you really think we forgot your birthday, pretty girl?”

i laugh, “well maybe! you guys are forgetful sometimes… like the time you forgot belly and i at the walmart!”

he rolls his eyes playfully, “oh shush, that was one time!”

“we never forget birthdays here.” susannah giggles before also hugging me, “happy birthday my gorgeous and beaming girl.”

everyone takes their turn in hugging me and wishing me a happy birthday. i thank each of them individually, the smile never leaving my face once.

“who planned this?” i ask laurel, who was carefully pulling out the birthday cake from the fridge.

“it was all belly and connie’s idea” she smiles, “now go sit!”

i take my seat next to jeremiah and steven before laurel brings the cake with seventeen candles on it in front of me. they all sing happy birthday to me and i close my eyes to make a wish.

every year since i was five years old, my birthday wish has been the same. not even just for my birthday, anytime i saw a shooting star, or tossed a penny in a fountain, or honestly any other occasion that required making a wish — it has always been the same.

it was wishing for jeremiah to notice me in the same way that i see him. it’s all i’ve ever wanted, as stupid as it can get.

i blow out all the candles and susannah cuts up the cake into slices before serving it to everyone. belly reminds me of all the birthday presents that they had gotten me, and to open it later.

after cake, susannah and laurel agree to leave the home to go to a cocktail bar so that the kids can have the house to themselves for a few hours. more teenagers from cousins start showing up, all of them wishing me a happy birthday as they come in.

drinks are being served, music is playing loudly off the multiple speakers scatter around the home, beer pong matches are being played by the pool, people dancing.

jeremiah stays next to me for the whole night, we chat with a few of our friends while sipping our seltzers.

“do you wanna go upstairs for a bit?” jeremiah says to me in a hushed tone, “y’know, to get away from this?”

i nod, “yeah, for sure.”

he smiles, taking my hand into his own and guiding me through the crowd and up the stairs. we walk to his bedroom, he closes the door behind me and locks it. jeremiah places his drink on his dresser and offers to put mine next to it, i agree and soon we’re both seated on his bed.

we make small talk, him asking about my birthday so far as he rummages around in his desk drawer. he sits back down beside me, facing me. he places a small velvet box into my hands,

“open it, my favourite birthday girl.” he smirks, looking into my eyes. his hand was on my thigh and i can feel myself blushing.

i think i can get lost in his ocean eyes, they’re so beautiful and full of life. i smile and carefully open it, inside was a gorgeous golden ring with a large (what im assuming was a fake) diamond on it.

“j…” i gasp, lifting the ring out of its box and admiring it, “this must have costed a fortune.”

he shrugs, “anything for you, look on the band.”

i bring the ring closer to my eyes and see that there’s an engraving on the inside of the band.

in love with my best friend <3

my jaw drops, “jeremiah?”

i look up at him, our eyes interlocking. he slowly nods, “i love you, y/n — i’ve always have, i thought it was a childhood crush and i don’t think i really realized until last summer that i truly do love you.”

“can i?” he asks, taking the ring from my hand. i nod and he carefully slips it onto my finger before being it to his lips and kissing it.

i pull him into a kiss, my hands rested on his cheeks and his on my waist. he kissed back almost immediately. my hands move down to his built chest and gently push him down onto his back, our lips never leaving each others. i adjust my legs so im straddled on him,

“i’ve always loved you too.” i whisper against his lips, he smiles into the kiss and kisses me harder.

his fingers fiddle with the edge of my dress, hands sliding up and down the back of my thighs before squeezing my ass slowly, “god, i couldn’t take my eyes off of you in this dress. it makes your body look so fucking good.” jeremiah groans.

i lower my crotch onto the evident tent in his pants, he gasps at the contact while slowly grind my hips on his.

“fuck, you’re gonna make me come in my pants.” he moans into my ear as i flip my hair onto one side. i bring my face to his jawline, kissing it and licking the soft skin. his hands tighten around my ass and i moan at the contact.

his hand slips under my dress and to the lace material of my thong, his finger slide underneath the band of it. he lifts it before letting it go, the snap of my underwear against my skin making me moan louder.

“sit on my face,” he tells me in a low voice, i feel myself getting even more wet and excited at the tone of it, “let me give you another birthday gift.”

he lifts me by the waist and moves me so my core is hovering above his mouth. i grab onto his head board while jeremiah slowly moves the lace material to the side and lowers me onto his face.

i gasp loudly when his tongue licks a long stride between my folds. he moans into me, “fuck, you’re so wet for me, baby.” he mumbles against me, the vibrations causing me to throw my head back in pleasure.

jeremiah dips his tongue into me, licking up all the juices and tracing figure eights against me. i squeeze the headboard tighter, becoming a moaning mess quickly. his tongue is magic. he fucks me with his mouth, my thighs shaking around his head,

“shit, jere.” i cry out, feeling my high coming closer. his hands squeeze my ass yet again before landing a smack on my left ass cheek. i moan loudly in response, my body flowing with immense pleasure, “fuck, i’m gonna come!”

he never slows his tongue as i feel my orgasm come crashing down on me. waves of pure pleasure crashing down. jeremiah licks up every last drop as i slowly come down from the high. i move myself down from his face and back down towards his groin. i lean down to kiss his passionately, tasting myself on his lips,

“holy shit, i can eat you out all day long.” he says to me as his hands fumble with his pants. he kicks off his pants and boxers. his erection slaps his lower abdomen and i drool at the sight of it. it’s huge, red tip begging for attention and veins pulsating on the sides of it.

i move to give him a blowjob but his grip on my waist prevents me from moving, “it’s your birthday.” jeremiah tells me, “you can give me head another time.” he winks

my hips position themselves above his thick and veiny cock and i lower myself onto it. he fills me up perfectly and we both moan loudly at the same time. every inch of him inside on me as i bottom out.

i slowly start rocking my hips against him, both of us becoming a panting mess. his hands never leave my hips, lifting me and slamming me back down onto his dick.

“you feel so good, baby” he praises, “you tight pussy feels amazing around me, fuck”

i continue riding him, my hands tangled up in his hair, pulling it which makes him moan.

“i- i think your cock was made for me.” i whisper in his ear before kissing him harshly.

he smirks, “oh yeah?”

and i nodded feverishly before he flips us around so im on my back and his on top of me, “sorry baby, i want to be in control now”

he pulls out almost entirely before slamming himself back in, the new position making him hit me even deeper than he was before. he thrusts harder and deeper, my back arches and i grab onto the sheets beside me, “fuck i’m close” i cry

“me too, hold on.” he continues fucking me, littering kissing on my face and neck. i can feel my inner muscles squeezing around him which makes jeremiah groan, “i’m fucking gonna come.”

“let it go.” he encourages me, his thumb going down to start abusing the bundle of nerves. almost immediately, i feel myself orgasm. my legs tightening around his waist and i feel him finish inside of me. he releases a series of curse words as he fucks us both through our orgasms.

a few moments after he pulls out and rolls next to me. we’re both breathing heavily, trying to catch our breaths, “holy shit” i pant out, looking over at him.

he grins, “that was amazing.”

“beyond amazing.” i repeat and he laughs,

“fuck, i should’ve asked you this before.” he says, reaching over to cup my face, “will you be my girlfriend, y/n?”

i blush, “yes, a hundred times yes!”

—

taglist! @randomaccountworld123 @bxbyyyjocelyn @20nugs @jeremiahxaesthetic

[lilybug-02]

Happy 2 Year Anniversary to The Chara Timeline ✨

I FINALLY made drawing references for you guys, yippie!✨

It’s wild how long I’ve been working on this comic without reference sheets. I’m never that consistent with my art style, so I figured it was a waste of time 🫥💀😔 this is my first full comic okay…

Thoughts and Feelings About the Comic Below ❤️💖💕💞

Wow. It’s been 2 years??? I thought I would be done with this comic in 2 months! I don’t know whether to feel worried or accomplished!!

(With months between each update, I understand why it’s been 2 years. I’m a slow writer and artist and well- many things have come up in my life that had to come first, like my sisters wedding! 💞 and college 😅)

I want to thank my family and friends (WHO DO NOT READ THIS COMIC- THANK GOD) 💕 AND I want to THANK YOU! The readers! 💐💐

You guys are relentless! I’m as impatient as traffic and yet you guys wait for weeks or months at a time for like 4 pages?! You guys don’t even complain!!! I truly want to thank you all for that ❤️ it helps me so much. Being busy and getting burnt out are common and it helps me feel relaxed that i'm not on a timer. Literally tho- you guys keep this comic chugging I swear. Tysm 💐

Unorganized rambling about the comic ahead :) ⭐️🔥

—

My feelings with this comic are actually so complicated. On one hand I hate looking at my older art because GOD IT LOOKS SO OFF I want to stab it, and then on the other hand I am so so proud of myself for even continuing it this far. Ngl the weird route has been one of my favorite parts of this comic. It took me FOREVER to figure out an ending, but damn do I still get chills >:) hehe.

I’m still miffed that I named this project “Deltarune: The Chara Timeline” I could have gone for something so much COOLER. Doesn’t help I use like 7 different titles for it either. We got Deltarune the Chara timeline, Deltarune chara timeline, THE Chara timeline, chara timeline, Ct??? Man,,, I’m crazy. I take after my family so hard. We have 3 names for each of our dogs 💀.

Comic/Animation Tip i have learned. It is VERY GOOD to make the character relatively simple in design. Shape language is also super important, ((but I never really got around to doing that before I was half way through the comic, woops.)) These things can make ur process go by so much faster. This whole comic has been a HUGE learning curve. LIKE OH MY GOD. I had to learn how to draw backgrounds, write dialogue, plan a story, learn how to draw fast and draw noses (which god damn I really still can’t). And I had to learn how the heck to squeeze art into a tiny page and make it not look grainy. It's intense!

Anyways.... this has been such an awesome opportunity! Thanks Toby Fox!

I totally ran out of “art time” for my iPad and wanted to finish this today. So it’s a bit rushed. I’ll add weapons and possibly the other characters later :)

Oh shi- I forgot to add this grainy image of the next few pages lmao

[hayleythesugarbowl]

Hi!! I love your friends writing!! I have an idea and it’s totally fine if you don’t like the ideas, but what if Joey and reader broke up, ( he cheated or whatever you want) before all of the friends met. And she gets introduced to him as like one of the others sister/school friend.

The One With the Ex || Joey Tribbiani x reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • f•r•i•e•n•d•s masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

summary: after joey cheats on you and breaks your heart in high school, you run into him again years later and find out the past might not be exactly what you thought it was

word count: 3.2k

warnings: presumed cheating, drinking, suggestive material

a/n: hope you enjoy this love and this is what you wanted. i wrote this kinda quick and just went with it so let me know if it’s any good lol!! also i imagine this to take place in s1 but imagine it however you want. enjoy!! 🍒💌

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Central Perk.

     You came to a stop before the sign on the front of the coffee shop where Rachel had told you to meet her. 

     You took a deep breath. You were excited to see her after so many years—eight years, to be exact. You were best friends all throughout middle school and part of high school, but then you’d been in different circles and, especially ever since you’d moved out of the state, you had lost touch.

     When she heard you were going to be in New York visiting some family, you both had made plans to see each other and she had suggested here.

     You pushed open the door and saw Rachel, sitting in a chair and sipping from a yellow mug.

     “Rachel?”

     “(Y/n)?” She ran over to you, giving you a big hug. “Wow, you look great!”

     “I could say the same about you,” you said, as she led you to the couch opposite the chair she’d been occupying and you both sat down.

     “So tell me,” she said, “What’s new with you since high school?”

     Where did you even begin? 

     “Well, college,” you started, “and now I’m a—”

     You cut off as you saw someone enter the room. Someone you would recognize anywhere.

     “You ever wonder why restrooms are called restrooms. I mean, you don’t rest in there,” the man said as he walked from the back towards Rachel.

     Joey Tribbiani.

     You hadn’t thought you would ever see him again. Not after all this time. Not after what he did to you.

     But it was definitely him. He had the same hair, the same style, the same swagger that he walked with like he was just so damn attractive.

     And he was so damn attractive, you thought as you looked at him. Curse him. Curse him and his good genes.

     “Hey Joe,” Rachel said, “I’d like to introduce you to my friend, (Y/n).”

     Joey turned to you and his eyes widened. He stared at you for a moment before turning back to Rachel.

     “And (Y/n), this is Joey.”

     “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Joey,” you said, keeping a pleasant expression on your face.

     “The pleasure is all mine,” Joey shook your hand, “(Y/n).”

     “Ok, am I missing something here?” Rachel looked confused, “Do you two know each other?”

     “Yes,” you and Joey said at the same time and Rachel’s brow furrowed.

     “Rach, can I talk to you for a minute?” You said, dragging her away from Joey and towards the other side of the coffee shop.

     “What is he doing here?” you whispered.

     “Joey? He’s a friend of mine, why?”

     “We kind of have a history,” you said, rising a glance over at Joey but he was already sitting down and eating a croissant. Typical.

     “Did you guys used to date or something?” Rachel looked at you.

     “That’s one word for it,” you bit out, “Yes, we dated. Until he cheated on me with Lucinda Figglebottom in senior year of high school.”

     It had been many years since you and Joey had dated. Since you had walked in on him making out with one of your classmates who he swore was just a friend. Since he had broken your heart.

     And you had moved on a long time ago. You had hardly even thought of Joey and what he did to you. Time had made you numb to it as time has a way with doing to all things. 

     But seeing him here, with Rachel. You felt like you were 18 again and you remembered why you had hated him for so many months. 

     And Joey didn’t even look affected, you thought. He had been surprised to see you, sure. But he clearly hadn’t been hurt as you had. Why would he have been when he’s the one who cheated on you?

     “Wow (Y/n), I had no idea—” Rachel said apologetically.

     “How could you have known? It’s fine, it was a long time ago, and we’re all adults here,” you assured her. 

     “Most of us,” you mumbled under your breath. 

     You and Rachel walked over to where Joey was sitting.

     “Well,” Rachel said, “Now that we’ve got the introductions out of the way. (Y/n), you were telling me about your life now.”

     Now that Joey was here listening, you felt the need to exaggerate the better points of your life. That would show him that you were different now from the girl who ran out of the room crying when she found her boyfriend cheating on her and spent the next few months crying until her tear ducts didn’t have any tears left. 

     “My life?” You started, “Oh you know, I travel a lot, when my work allows it. But, I try not to leave my husband and kids in that big house alone for too long. You understand, of course.”

     The fact that you had a house was the only true part of that sentence. Rachel looked at you curiously. 

     “Oh, speaking of work, I have an audition,” Joey said, standing up. You sighed. You were pretty sure he hadn’t even been paying attention to anything you just said.

     “So you’re still acting?” You couldn’t resist, “I assume it’s going better for you than when I knew you?”

     “Yeah, well, I’d better get going,” Joey said, not quite meeting your eye. “It was good seeing you again (Y/n).”

     He stood up and left in a hurry before you could say anything else, and you and Rachel were left alone.

     “Oh my god he’s still in love with you!” Rachel said.

     You spun around, “What?”

     “Did you see the way he looked at you? I mean, he didn’t flirt with you or ask you out or try to look at your backside or anything.”

     You stared at her baffled, “And that means he’s in love with me?”

     Rachel nodded and you shook your head, “No. Trust me. He does not want to get back together with me and I certainly don’t want to get back together with him.”

     You were both silent for a moment before Rachel’s face lip up as she looked like she had an idea, 

     “Hey, why don’t you come to Monica’s birthday party this Saturday. It would give us another chance to catch up and you could meet some of my other friends.”

     “Is Joey going to be there?” You asked her, trying to keep your tone casual.

     Rachel opened her mouth to respond but you cut her off. Why should it matter if Joey was going? You could be in the same room together, for goodness sakes. You weren't going to not go just because Joey might be there.

     “Never mind,” you said, “I’ll be there.”

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

     You walked into Rachel and Monica’s apartment that Saturday, feeling better than you had since you’d been in New York again.

     The low cut, tight dress you had picked out and the heels you were wearing made you feel confident. Confident enough to walk in there and not care if you saw Joey or not.

     In fact, you hoped you did see him. Then he could see how moved on you were and how much you didn’t care about him.

     “Hey, (Y/n),” Rachel called, “You remember Monica.”

     Monica walked over and stood next to Rachel. “Hey,” you greeted her, “It’s nice to see you again. And happy birthday.”

     Monica smiled at you, gesturing around the apartment, “Make yourself at home. We have drinks over there and hors d’oeuvres over here.”

     You thanked her and walked with Rachel towards the table with snacks and plates. You caught a flash of blue fabric to your right and you looked there seeing Joey. He was standing with a woman and he had his arm around her shoulders as they laughed about something.

     Joey can date whoever he wants, you thought bitterly. Why should I care?

     “On second thought, let’s go to the drinks table,” you told Rachel.

     She followed your gaze and nodded, walking over with you to pour your drinks. You caught Joey’s eye as you passed by him and his eyes widened as he saw you.

     His gaze trailed down your outfit and then back up to your face before he looked away quickly.

     You would make it though this, you resolved, taking sip of your drink.

     That one drink quickly turned into several, however, and you found yourself feeling lighter than you had all week. 

     You met all of Rachel’s other friends and after she left to go to the bathroom, you walked over to the drink table again and scanned the room for Joey. You didn’t see him and you scolded yourself for looking.

     “Can I make you a drink?” A tall man came up behind you and you smiled up at him.

     “Sure thing,” you slurred as you watched  him pour different alcohols into a glass for you. 

     He made two and then handed you one of them, which you downed very quickly. He grabbed your wrist and led you to a corner of the room that was less populated.

     It took all of three seconds before his hands were on you. An alarm went off in the back of your head but you ignored it. Maybe this was what you wanted. 

     Seeing Joey this week had brought up a lot of bad memories and right now you just wanted to forget. The man you were with began kissing your neck and you saw a gleam in his eye. You knew you should be getting away from him but you couldn’t make yourself. You didn’t want to.

     You let him push you up against the wall and as he brought his lips to yours, you kissed him back. People were looking but you ignored them. You wrapped you arms around him and flipped around so he was against the wall. As the mystery man smiled down at you, he began sliding his hands down your dress and you helped him by fumbling for the zipper on the side and starting to unzip it. You stopped as you felt someone’s presence behind you. 

     “(Y/n), it’s time to go,” Joey came up behind you and you felt his hand on your waist. He discreetly zipped your dress back up. Where did he even come from?

     “Get off me,” you whispered-yelled, turning to face him.

     “(Y/n), you’re very drunk,” he whispered back.

     “So?”

     “Come with me before you do something you regret,” he pulled you away from your corner of the room.

     You scoffed, “Are you sure you’re not just jealous?”

     Joey looked like he wanted to say something else but settled for. “(Y/n), come with me. I’m trying to help you.”

     “I don’t need your help,” you tried to elbow him but he just griped your arm harder and pulled you away.

     “Where are we going?” You spat as he dragged you out of the room and across the hall.

     “My apartment,” Joey said. 

     “No,” you squirmed in his grip, “I don’t want to go anywhere with you.”

     Joey ignored you and opened the door to his apartment, dropping you down on the couch. 

     You stood up in outrage, but your head spun and so you sat back down.

     “Here,” Joey said, handing you a mug of coffee, “drink this.”

     “Why are you doing this?” You tried to figure out amongst the fog in your brain what in the world Joey was thinking. You hadn’t talked or seen each other in years since you broke up—which was his fault— and now he was acting like you were friends. 

     Joey didn’t answer you, just waited until you took a sip of the warm, bitter liquid before walking back into the kitchen and digging in the fridge. 

     “What if I want to go back in there?” You asked him, trying to get his attention.

     “And let that guy stick his tongue down your throat again? He was taking advantage of you, (Y/n).”

     Was he? You couldn’t think. “Why do you care?”

     “Because,” he said, standing up straight and walking over to sit down next to you, “I care about you, (Y/n). Just because things ended…the way they did, doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

     “You hurt me, Joey,” you tucked your hair behind your ears. All of a sudden you felt like crying. Yes, the many years that had passed made you numb to his betrayal. But deep down, you still hated him. 

     Joey rubbed the back of his neck. “I know,” was all he said.

     And he looked so sincere. So vulnerable. So much like he had when you were together. God, he was gorgeous, you thought. You leaned in closer to him.

     “You hurt me a lot,” you whispered, closer to his face now. 

     He scooted back, away from you and you closed the distance again.

     You put your hand on his shoulder and he shrugged it off. “(Y/n)—”

     “Do you want to hurt me again?” You were practically on Joey’s lap now. “Then kiss me.”

     You leaned forwards and Joey abruptly stood up. He looked flustered and you wanted him to get back on the couch and kiss you. Kiss you until you stopped being mad at him and you could pretend everything was like it was before.

     “(Y/n), you’ve had a lot to drink. Try to get some rest, ok?” He walked out of the room and you laid your head down on one of the pillows. 

     You wanted him to lay with you and hold you in his arms and—

      What were you thinking? This was Joey Tribbiani, the man who had kissed another woman while you two were dating and had broken your heart. What were you doing thinking of him that way?

     Snap out of it, you told yourself. 

     And then your eyelids drooped and you struggled to keep them open. You gave in and let sleep take you for the night.  

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

     You awoke with a start, looking around and blinking sleep from your eyes. You glanced down at your shirt—no, Joey’s shirt. And Joey’s bed. 

     You sat up in horror. Fragments of the night before came back to you. 

     Joey walked in carrying a mug with coffee. Something about it felt vaguely familiar about the past night. He handed it to you and you took it from, griping his forearm.

     “Joey, I’m in your bed.”

     “Yeah,” he said sheepishly, “You fell asleep on the couch but I didn’t want to you be cold so I—”

     “But we didn't—”

     “No, of course not! I would never—” He looked down, “How much do you remember from last night?”

     You strained to recollect anything. The pounding in your head wasn’t making it very easy. “Enough to remember that I made a fool of myself.”

     And forced myself on you.

     “That’s not—,” he started, “well, I wouldn’t say you made a fool of yourself.”

     “Oh god,” you ran your fingers through your tangled hair, “of all the things that could’ve happened. Waking up in the bed of the man I’m supposed to hate!”

     Supposed to hate. You realized it after you said it. You’d thought you despised Joey. You did. But all you could remember was Joey brining you back to his apartment last night and saving your butt. Another memory came back. 

     “I should thank you,” you told him, “Y’know, for rescuing me.”

     Joey shrugged, “I would have done it for anyone I cared about.”

     You were so confused. Confused about how you felt about Joey and how he could be acting so kind right now when he had been such a jerk to you.

     You supposed people changed. It was a long time ago, and you knew that. But you had to know why. 

     You couldn’t believe you were about to ask this. But after all that had happened in the past 24 hours, you had courage enough to manage a weak, “Why, Joey?”

     “Well, when you know someone really well—”

     “No, not that,” you said, “I meant all those years ago. Why?”

     Joey sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. 

     “(Y/n), if you’re talking about why we broke up—”

     “Why we broke up?” Your voice rose. Just when you were starting to soften towards him for helping you. “You mean why you cheated on me?”

     “Let me explain,” he said, calmly, “Lucinda and I really were just friends.”

     “Is that what you told yourself after you made out with her? I’d say you were really good friends.”

     Joey continued. “She had just broken up with her ex and so she asked me as a friend, to kiss her so he’d get jealous and want to get back with her. Her ex was supposed to walk through that door, not you. But I promise, we were always just friends. I was just helping her out. I would’ve asked you, but she was so embarrassed about it that she didn’t want anyone to know.”

     Wow. What were you even supposed to say to that? If that was true then… 

     “But, why didn’t you say anything?” 

     “You didn’t really give me the chance,” he confessed. You supposed he was right. After you’d caught him with Lucinda you’d ran away and avoided him in any way you could.  You’d never come into contact with him again until a week ago.

     “But if I’d have known—” you broke off, “I was in love with you Joey.”

     “I felt really bad for screwing things up,” he said, “I loved you too and I missed you a lot afterwards. But I didn’t know what to do and so I just let you get away. It’s the biggest regret I’ll ever have.”

     “It’s not your fault Joey,” you said, “It was a misunderstanding and that’s that. I can’t believe I hated you for so many years.”

     “God, if I could just go back,” Joey said.

     “Maybe we don’t have to,” you looked up at him.

     “If you’re saying we should kiss right now, then I definitely agree,” Joey smirked and you laughed.

     You leaned towards him and brought his lips to yours. It had been a while since you’d done this, with Joey or anybody. It wasn’t perfect but it was exactly what you wanted. You pulled away, smiling. 

     “I’ve been wanting to do this since the moment I saw you in Central Perk,” Joey admitted. 

     “Really?” You said, teasing. “Creep.”

     “It is not my fault you’re that gorgeous, (Y/n).”

     “You’re not bad yourself,” you said, kissing him again.

     “So, while you’re in New York, maybe I could take you out sometime? Again.” Joey added.

     “I’d like that a lot.”

     You were thrilled. You had gone from hating Joey to kissing him in his bed. What a wild week. You knew that a lot of time had passed since your’s and Joey’s relationship and it would take some time to get to know each other again. But you wanted to do it. You wanted to make up for the time your missed when you could have been together.

     “We should tell Rachel about this,” you said, “She’ll probably be ecstatic. She had this crazy idea that you were still in love with me after all these years.”

     Joey looked into your eyes, brushing the hair back from your face.

     “I don’t think it’s that crazy, (Y/n). I don’t think it’s crazy at all.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed this!! tysm to @hopefulinlove for requesting this!! always love writing for joey. have a lovely day <3🍓🩰

[elusivewildflower]

Wide Open Spaces | Cowboy!Court x F!Reader

Pairing: Cowboy!Court Gentry x F!Reader

Summary: After ending your five-year relationship, you find out your beloved Aunt left you her small Ranch out in the country. Desperate to get away from the city, you happily up and move several states away for a fresh start. What happens when you find out your new neighbor is a hot single dad? (Court and Claire have taken on their new life of father & daughter after the events of the movie and settled down on a ranch.)

Warnings: Court being a sexy Cowboy, Claire meddling in Court's love life, and mentions of a deceased family member.

Word Count: 4k

A/N: I haven't posted anything in FOREVER, and honestly....I have missed it. The new photos of Ryan have inspired me to write a fic (that will probably turn into a series) about Cowboy Court. I hope you all love this as much as I enjoyed writing it!!

As you stepped out of your car, you sucked in a deep breath of fresh air. It was so much different than the city air you had been breathing for the last five years. There was none of the usual exhaust fumes, cigarette smoke, and the lingering smell of fast food from two blocks away here. You cast your gaze over the home your aunt had left you when she passed. It had been years since you’d been here, and it looked like it had been quite a while since anyone had. The house wasn’t in total disrepair, but it was clear that no one had lived here in the three years your aunt was in assisted living. The wooden steps beneath your feet creaked as you climbed them, the railing wobbly when you placed your hand on it. Your nose scrunched in disgust as you had to bat away a few cobwebs, thankful that there weren’t any spiders on them at the time. You dug your new set of keys out from your purse and pushed it into the lock. A smile crept across your face as the lock twisted easily, but when you simply pushed on the door to open, it wouldn’t budge. 

After putting all of your weight against the door, you nearly barreled through it into your aunt’s foyer. Well, you supposed it was yours now. As you maneuvered into the living room, a sneeze overcame you. Wow, you were going to have to put dusting at the top of your list. All of your aunt’s furniture sat right where she left it, just coated in a heavy layer of dust. The style wasn’t exactly to your taste, but it was better than having nothing. Sure, you had some furniture back in the city, but it was easier just to leave it there. Those pieces held too many memories that you wanted to forget, and it made it easier to move several states away without any help. After all, with your aunt gone now, all you had was, well, you. 

As you explored the house, grimacing at the state of a few rooms, you found yourself back in the kitchen. It was going to be difficult, but this fresh start was exactly what you needed.  Leaning yourself against the sink, you gazed out the window in front of you. Your aunt’s land wasn’t ginormous by any means, but there was a stable for horses, a small barn, and plenty of fenced in yard. In the distance, you could see a man on a horse. You assumed that must be your new neighbor. He was too far away to notice much, but the cowboy hat on his head and tan leather jacket that covered his broad shoulders was enough to intrigue you. The sudden sound of a knock on your door pulled you from your staring. 

“I’m coming,” you called out as you made your way back to the foyer. You certainly weren’t expecting any visitors, but you figured it was probably the wife of the man you had just been ogling from a distance. However, when you opened the door, you were greeted by a girl who looked no older than sixteen. 

“Uh, hello,” you greeted. 

A wide smile was spread across the girl’s face. “Hi! I’m Claire, your new neighbor.” She gestured towards the land besides yours, and for the first time you noticed the plate of cookies in her hand. “Can I come in? I made these for you.” 

You let a smile grace your features as you nodded and took a step back. “Of course, come on in.” As Claire stepped into your home, you felt the need to apologize for the state of it. “I’m sorry it’s such a mess.” You began as you led her towards the kitchen. 

Claire shook her head, cutting you off. “No, it’s okay. No one’s been here in years.” She glanced around as she followed you. “I actually met your aunt right before she went into assisted living about three years ago.” She admitted. “She was a really nice lady.” 

You nodded your head solemnly as you thought of your recently deceased family member. “Yeah, she was.” A wave of guilt washed over you as you wished you had visited her more often, or you know, at all. But, you were busy living your life and always put it off.....You called her monthly, sometimes weekly, but you never stepped foot onto a plane to come and visit. You always thought you’d have more time. Sadly, you’ve found out that isn’t how life works. 

It was like Claire felt the shift in you and decided to talk about something else. “It’s nice to have a new neighbor. It gets lonely out here sometimes.” 

That caught your attention. Surely, a girl her age must have friends. You furrowed your brows as you looked her over. “Lonely? How so?” 

Claire set the plate of cookies down on the dusty counter. You made a mental note that you really needed to get started on cleaning. The younger girl then shrugged her shoulders. “Well, it’s just me and my dad, and he’s fairly protective. I’m homeschooled, so I don’t get out much.” She admitted. 

A frown pulled at the corner of your lips. “Mm, I suppose father’s are always good at that, aren’t they?” You questioned rhetorically as you thought of your own father. Vaguely recalling when you were her age and how your father wouldn’t let you stay out past nine o’clock. 

Claire nodded in agreement as she absentmindedly brushed a finger across the countertop. “Is it just you moving in?” She asked curiously, her head tilting to the side as she eyed you over. 

Something about the look in her eyes made you a bit uneasy, like she was sizing you up. Whatever for, you had no clue. You shifted your weight onto your other leg as you nod. “Yeah, just me. My aunt was the only family I had left, and, uh, I’m newly single.” You explained very briefly. 

“Newly?” Claire prodded on that last piece of information you gave. 

You blew out a puff of air. Did you really need to be telling your sob story to a sixteen year old? You were silent for a moment as you contemplated. The look in her eyes made her seem older, and she had been nice thus far. What did it hurt? Other than perhaps your ego for your first new friend being a teenager. 

“Uh, yeah. I found out my boyfriend of five years had been cheating on me, shortly after I learned about the death of my aunt.” Shrugging your shoulders, you continued. “So, I packed up everything that truly mattered, and I came here.” 

Claire scrunched up her nose in disgust. “Ugh, men.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at that response. “My thoughts exactly.” You agreed with a heavy sigh. 

Claire looked around the room for a moment before something in the window caught her eye. “Well, I’ll leave you to unpack. If you need any help, just give me a call, yeah? And if you need help with repairs, my dad had to fix a lot of stuff when we first moved into our house. I’m sure he can help.” She extended the offer as she pulled out her phone and asked for your number. Once your contact was safely in her phone and she had sent you a text, she let herself out of your back door. 

You moved to the sink and watched as she wandered off towards what must have caught her eye. The man you had seen earlier, her father, was at the edge of your property on his horse, staring at your house. That is, until he spotted Claire and his head turned to acknowledge her. You couldn’t tell what they were saying, but the tanned man in the cowboy hat gave your house one last look as Claire hopped up onto the horse to join him before riding off towards their home. 

Once they were out of your sight, you turned to face the disaster of a house you now owned and heaved a sigh. It was time to start hauling all of your things in and pick a room upstairs to call your own. Then, you would get started on dusting. 

Morning came all too soon for you after staying up late last night dusting every inch of the house. But, at least you wouldn’t have a sneezing fit every time you entered a room anymore. It really wasn’t all that early, but with the long days of travel, emotional and physical baggage you’d been carrying, you felt as if you could sleep all day. However, you had too much work to do for that. So, you pulled yourself from bed and got dressed into some casual clothing. A white tank top and denim shorts, something to keep you cool while you clean. 

After taking care of getting yourself ready, you made your way down to the kitchen. Sadly, your aunt didn’t even have an old-fashioned coffee pot and you begrudgingly accepted that you would have to make due without any caffeine. This wasn’t the city, and there was no easy way to doordash your morning fix. You heaved a sigh and made your way to the kitchen sink, intending to twist the knob and turn on warm water. But, it was stuck. You sighed again in frustration, wondering how many things in this house were going to require more strength than you possessed in order to work. You beared down harder on the knob, and felt a streak of pride as it finally turned. That is, until the knob came off right in your hand. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me…” You stared at the handle in disbelief for a moment before the sound of rushing water reached your ears. Dumbfounded, you stared at the faucet. There wasn’t any water coming from it. Where was it…? Oh no. 

Realization hit as you hurriedly bent down to rip open the cabinet beneath the sink. There was water gushing from….somewhere. You weren’t a plumber and without caffeine your brain still felt like mush. You cursed, several times actually, and then began to panic. You tried twisting the other knob to the sink, but it did absolutely nothing. At least it didn’t break off like the other, though. You had no idea where the water shut-off valve was in the house and you stood helplessly as you watched your kitchen floor begin to flood. 

Come on, do something! You thought to yourself, trying to come up with a plan. Towels. Finally, there was an idea. Surely your aunt had to have a spare linen closet around here, right? You frantically searched for one until you found it near the mud room, grabbing as many linens as you could carry and rushing back to the kitchen. Unfortunately, the water had spread since you had left, and you slipped, landing on the hard linoleum floor. The towels you were carrying also fell, at least beginning to soak up the water. As you slowly rose to your feet, your white tank top and shorts now soaked, you realized the towels were hardly helping the problem. Grabbing your phone, you called the only person you could think of. 

Claire. 

It was answered on the second ring. “Hello?” Came the familiar voice of the girl you had met just yesterday. 

“Claire!” You exclaimed in relief. “Do you know any plumbers? I think a pipe burst in my kitchen sink and it’s gushing water and I have no idea where the shut-off is.” You rambled out frantically. 

“I’ll go get my dad, he’ll be right there!” 

You shook your head, that wasn’t what you had asked. “No, wait–” you began to protest, but the girl had already hung up. 

Claire must work fast, because you swore it was only a matter of minutes before you heard a knock at your front door. Your feet carried you as fast as you could without slipping on the hardwood floors of the house. You were going to have to throw your shoes outside to dry after this. As you slung open the front door, you stopped in your tracks. 

Wow. You knew Claire’s father was handsome even from a distance, but you didn’t expect him to be this handsome. He was a bit older than you, but he had to be, to have a daughter that was Claire’s age. The only thing that gave away his age, though, were the fine lines he had begun to develop on his brow and around his eyes. His short, blonde, hair was messy without a single strand of gray insight. He must’ve come from working in the yard because his white t-shirt that fit him perfectly was slightly dirty, his arms and face were covered in a bit of dirt and dust, along with a thin sheen of sweat. As your eyes trailed down his form, you noticed the toolbelt he wore around his waist, and the new pipe that he held in his tattooed hand. You only caught a glimpse of his brown cowboy boots before he cleared his throat to gain your attention. Shit, had you really been staring for that long? 

You rose your eyes to meet his keen blue ones as you felt heat rush to your cheeks. He was staring directly at your face. Maybe, if you hadn’t been so distracted, you might’ve noticed it was because your top was completely see-through from being soaked. 

“I, uh, heard you’ve got a leak?” His smooth voice graced your ears, and successfully pulled you back to the issue at hand. 

You moved away from the door so that he could enter, gesturing for him to come inside. “Yes, a big one,” you answered hurriedly. As he stepped inside, you saw his horse waiting for him in your front lawn. Ah, that was how he got here so quickly. 

You didn’t need to show him where the kitchen was. He either was smart enough to have an idea, as you assumed all of the old houses out here were set up similarly, or he followed the sound of water. He let out a curse under his breath as he saw what he was faced with. “Yeah, that’s a big one alright,” he agreed with your earlier sentiment before dropping down to his knees and immediately getting to work. 

Within seconds, his tee was completely soaked like yours. But, it didn’t seem to bother him. His hands were moving faster than you could comprehend, using his pure strength to unscrew the pipe that was broken so that he could get the new one installed. He let out a few grunts as he worked, and all you could do was lean yourself against the island and watch. The muscles in his arms bulged as he exerted his strength against the pipe. His slightly tanned skin was on full display now that his shirt was transparent, and you could even make out a bit of the tattoo he had on his chest. Your eyes happily drank in the sight of his chiseled torso. At this moment, you were almost thanking your ex for cheating on you and your aunt for leaving you this house because without all of those things coming together, you would’ve never been able to experience this. An attractive, hard working man at work. Your eyes drifted from his torso to take in the gruesome scar he had on his left arm, curious to know how that came to be. 

What felt like an hour to your daydreaming self, was really only a matter of minutes before Claire’s father had your leak fixed. Or, at least, one of them. You couldn’t help but realize the sight before you, and the grunting sounds he let out whilst working, had awakened something within. Something you hadn’t felt in a long time. And you didn’t even know his name. 

Movement pulled you from your thoughts, and you realized that he was coming out from underneath the sink. You had to act as if you hadn’t been gawking at him this entire time, and instead stared at the floor that was covered in soaked towels. The sound of running water pulled your attention back to the sink, and you found that he was also staring at the faucet that was still running. Right, the knob broke too. 

He gave a nod as he realized the next issue. “Right, well at least it’s not flooding your kitchen anymore.” He turned his head to look at you briefly before looking back to the faucet. “I probably have a spare around, if not, I’ll run out and grab one.” He explained with a simple shrug of his shoulders. 

You were quick to shake your head. “You don’t need to do that,” you began. “I can run out to the store and grab one.” You glanced down at yourself, finally realizing that you had put on a hot pink bra this morning and your still-soaked tank was completely transparent. “....Right after I change.” You felt heat creep up your neck once more as embarrassment overcame you. 

When you glanced back over at him, he was quick to avert his eyes. “Really, I don’t mind. Your aunt was very nice to Claire and I when we first moved in. She personally made us about a week’s worth of food, I think.” He explained, letting out a chuckle. 

You bit down on your bottom lip. That certainly sounded like something your aunt would do, and if this attractive man wanted to help you as a repayment, then you supposed you could oblige. “Fine, I’ll accept your help. On one condition.” You paused, watching as he rose a brow at you, urging for you to go on. “You tell me your name so I don’t have to call you Claire’s father.” You finished with a grin. 

A smile of his own crossed his features and those wrinkles in the corner of his eyes deepened. “You can call me Court.” 

“Thank you, Court, for saving my entire house from being flooded.” You spoke with a laugh as you looked down at your kitchen floor. 

“I’m just sorry I couldn’t stop it before the kitchen flooded,” he responded. “Speaking of, do you wanna go get changed and I’ll help you clean up before I fix the faucet?” 

You glanced down at yourself once more, and with a moment of confidence, you shook your head. “No, I’m sure you’ve already seen it, so what does it matter?” You asked rhetorically. “Besides, it wouldn’t really be fair for only one of us to be wet, now would it?” 

Court paused to look at you, seemingly analyzing your choice of words. You watched as his eyes flashed down to your chest before he shook his head. “I suppose not.” He spoke, moving to pick up the water-logged towels on the floor. 

A few minutes into picking up the strewn about linens and you heard Court curse.

 “Shit.” 

You turned to look at him, worry in your brow. “What?” You questioned. 

“A piece of your linoleum was lifted up, water got all underneath.” There was a pause. “I’m gonna have to replace your floor.” 

“Shit,” you echoed. 

“Yeah. I’ll do it tomorrow.” He stated nonchalantly. 

You stopped in your tracks. Here this man was, a stranger, really, volunteering to spend a day replacing your flooring? “Court, really, you don’t have to. I can hire someone to fix it.” 

Court shook his head. “It’s not a problem. Like I said, your aunt was a nice lady.” 

“She was so nice that you’d spend an entire day of labor replacing her niece’s kitchen floor?” You asked in disbelief. If this were the city, you’d never find a man offering to replace your flooring for free. 

Turning his head to finally look at you, Court smirked. “For her niece that’s as pretty as you? Yeah, I’d do a lot of things.” 

Any retort you could think of making died on your tongue and Court went back to picking up linens with that smug smirk on his face. You felt as if your brain had short-circuited. Did he just flirt with you? After a moment, you shook yourself out of your stupor and resumed picking up the towels. 

The two of you carried your heaping piles of soaked towels to the mud room, where you began loading up the washer. As Court stood there watching you, you turned towards him. 

“Can I at least make you and Claire dinner tonight to show thanks?” You canted your head as you awaited his response.

Court’s tongue darted across his lower lip. “I’ll allow it.” He agreed with a nod, then motioned towards the hallway with his head. “I’ll be back soon to fix your faucet, alright?” 

You nodded, watching as he turned and left. After you heard your front door close shut, you placed your head in your hands. Your life felt like an absolute train wreck at the moment, but somehow you knew it was only going to get better. Your aunt always swore moving out here would be better for you than your life in the city. You didn’t used to believe her, but after today? You were starting to realize she might’ve been right.

Now, you need to plan for dinner. Fuck. Why didn’t you ask him what his favorite food was? You have no idea what to make. Slapping yourself on the forehead, you let out a groan before making your way up to your bedroom to get changed. 

“Easy, girl.” Court called to his horse as he pulled on the reins. She slowed her trot to a halt by his house, allowing him to slip off from the saddle. As he made his way inside of the home, his thoughts solely on the new girl next door, Claire was waiting for him. 

“So, did you fix her sink?” She asked, startling him from his thoughts. 

Jesus, he thought. He was really losing some of his skills if he let Claire startle him over a woman. He clicked his teeth and nodded, trying not to seem interested. The last thing he needed was Claire meddling in his love life. He’d been lucky thus far by keeping her home so often that she never met anyone she could set him up with. But that never stopped her from constantly suggesting it.

“Yeah, mostly. I stopped the leak, but a knob is broken and I need to replace it. Some water got under her flooring.” He explained as he moved towards his bedroom to find dry clothing. “I’ll have to replace that tomorrow.” 

Claire followed right behind him, the idea of personal space diminishing over the years they had lived together. She wouldn’t enter his room if he was changing, but she’d be right outside of the door, continuing the conversation she started. 

“So, you’ll be seeing her again tomorrow?” Claire wondered aloud. There was something in her tone of voice that set off alarms in Court’s head. But he tried to ignore it. If he called her out on it too soon….

“Yeah, and she’s making us dinner tonight.” He added on with a huff as he stripped himself of his shirt and pants. Then began rummaging around for new ones in his closet. 

“That’s great! I knew you’d like her.” She called smugly from the other side of the door. 

Court’s brows furrowed as he tossed his new shirt over his torso and closed the distance between him and the door. He opened it wide enough to peek his head out and level his gaze with Claire. 

“Who said anything about liking her? She’s doing it as a thank you.” 

Claire stared blankly up at him. “But she’s pretty, isn’t she?” She questioned, as if that were the only important matter.

Court didn’t respond. He simply shook his head at her antics and shut the door in her face. He wasn’t giving her the satisfaction of the truth. 

“Deny it all you want, but you just wait! You’ll be telling me I’m right before long.” She called out teasingly as Court retreated further into his room to put on pants. 

God help him with that girl. She wasn’t going to rest until she was right. For once though, he might not have much of a problem with that.

[astrowaffle]

Wow you guys really seemed to like the steampunk AU, that post got way more attention than I was expecting, so here's some more information and stuff:

-The world is still like a videogame that they got trapped in but now it’s a steampunk adventure-y type game with circus elements 

-The adventures are probably a bit different

-They’re probably more like, fantasy adventure video game style things with like puzzles and fighting? Idk I'm not a big gamer I've never actually played any steampunk video games. What are those like?

-Instead of circus tent, there is a big wagon thingy that I'll draw eventually

-there's still not much of a story and I'm not sure If there'll ever be

-I'd also kinda want to make some mini comics for this au but I suck at coming up with ideas :/

Pomni:  

-She likes to craft things

-friends with Gangle and Ragatha

-still very anxious but less anxious then normal Pomni?

-has a very logical mind and is good at puzzling things together but also doesn’t do well under pressure and typically panics in stressful moments where these skills might be useful

-She can play the flute because flutes are good, they are the best instrument. (I am totally not biased just because I play the flute in marching band)

-My headcanon for regular Pomni is that she’s less anxious than she initially is in the pilot after getting used to things, like, beyond the anxiety, her actual personality is very cheery and friendly, also very logical, because idk it just fits her somehow? So yea, that headcanon also applies to this au 

-but of course she is still an absolute nervous wreck because yes

-How else is she supposed to react in this situation

-also look at those fingerless gloves I want those

-the gears in her eyes turn when she is thinking

Gangle:

-Also likes crafting things

-friends with Pomni, Zooble, and Kinger

-she often borrows  sewing needles from Ragatha to sew her comedy mask back together when it’s torn, and also constantly tries to craft new ones

-She really likes her boots

-I don’t blame her those are some nice boots

-Ok wait a minute what if that little wing bow thingy on her head is actually a pen/quill that she can use to write stuff?

-ooooooh yes I like that

Caine: 

-✨monocle✨

-He can control the time of day with the clock that’s on his hat

-It’s a lot harder for him to heal injuries in this world, he can’t just instantly fix anything anymore it requires a bit more effort

-I’m doing this because I like when injury and pain and suffering

Bubble: um- idk it’s just bubble but now they’re a robot I guess

Kinger:

-ok but what if he had a collection of mechanical insects? Omg designing mechanical insects would be so fun-

-The clock that he wears is broken but he doesn’t notice. And Time is irrelevant anyways

-damn those gloves are fancy

-they probably feel really silky

-and his robe is also very silky because mmm good texture

Zooble:

-They are a robot now

-also a mechanic/inventor because nobody else is and somebody had to learn how to make new robot parts

-their right arm can go s t r e t c h

-bonds with Gangle over their hatred of Jax

-they’re also kinda protective over her

-I lowkey ship them (this ship is so underrated)

-No but seriously why do see zero art of this ship

- Zoob’s in denial about their feelings and still pretends not to care because they’ve had such a “I don’t give a shit about anything” attitude that suddenly developing feelings for someone has caught them off guard cause they suddenly are giving a shit about something and they don’t know how to handle it, But if Jax does anything to Gangle they will rush in to protect her in a heartbeat and just try to play it off as it just being because they don’t like Jax BUT WE ALL KNOW THE TRUTH ZOOBLE JUST CONFESS ALREADY-

-ok that got way too rambly let's just move on now

Jax:

-MY FAVORITE

-he likes shiny things

-He will collect those shiny things

-He also very fast because look at those LANKY RABBIT LEGS

-I mean technically that’s already cannon, did you see how fast he ran away after seeing abstracted kaufmo? He just z o o m e d outta there

-those keys on the chain are only a small portion of his collection

-his room is definitely full of weird steampunk knick knacks because yes

-He uses them to prank people

-the centipedes he has to scare/annoy Ragatha are mechanical

-I’m so excited to design mechanical centipedes I love bugs so much guys you have no idea I finally have an excuse to draw insects and maybe people will actually care because it’s fandom related now

-He does not like getting wet. At all. (this is also just a general headcanon for him but especially in this au)

-floofy

Ragatha:

-the seams of her fabric are prone to tearing so she always carries a needle and thread to sew herself back together. she's good at sewing

-My main headcannon for normal Ragatha is that her button eye is a parallel to an eye injury she had in real life before joining the circus, but in this AU she probably acquired the injury in this universe.

-she’s good at using tools and weapons but not in like, a mechanic sorta way like Zooble but in a defense sorta way

-like, she’s very kind and caring but also sorta tough and even though her body is good at falling apart, she knows how to use strategy to fight and um wait what would they even be fighting-

-idk I haven’t thought about that yet

-Gloinks?????

-do those exist in this au???

-wait it’s my au why am I asking this

-overall she is very, “tries to help everyone else and seems very tough on the outside but is prone to falling apart both physically and mentally but just gets good at quickly patching it up and ignoring it until it become too much for her to bear”

-pls help her she needs therapy

-they all need therapy

-I’m pretty sure we’ve all established that at this point

-but I’m just making sure you know that it’s still a consistent factor in this au

[possibilistfanfiction]

I love Beatrice feels about Avas gender identity (or lack of). And how, for Beatrice, her womanhood is still an important part of her, even if she expresses that part differently than other women. And how Bea is just down for the ride when Ava experiments with their gender expression, just endless support and love and just letting Ava try out whatever they want. Like the scene with the binder, Ava wasnt visibly uncomfortable or weirded out, she just said that it wasnt something for her, and Bea never discouraged her of trying it out by telling her that she wouldnt like it, or other masculine things that fit better, like the suit. So yeah, thanks for having someone like Ava who doenst give a fuck about how she "should" dress and act as told by society and then Beatrice, for whom womanhood is still an important part of, but she puts her personal own spin on it, so she still feels like herself and happy. So, yeah you said you already have two butch!Bea prompts, so I just wanted to request a Avatrice fic with some happy gender expressions/feels it doesnt have to be butch!Bea AU, if you want. But yeah, I love how you write Beas butch style but still in touch with her womanhood. (And of course her kicking ass in Aikaido class ;) )

‘wow,’ you say, a little breathless. ava grins, spins around in their tuxedo slacks and button down with the sleeves rolled up to their elbows, an old binder of yours that’s loose on them but still offers some compression underneath, paired with patent leather loafers and a tie loose around their neck. they’ve slicked their hair back neatly and are grinning, arms outstretched. ‘you look amazing.’

‘yeah?’

‘of course,’ you say, as if there was any other possibility. ava wraps her arm around your waist and looks in the mirror at the both of you together: it’s a little different, because you’re used to ava in the dresses and crop tops and flowy pants he loves, an old favorite pair of overalls — but it’s, like, really, really hot. you’ve learned through your friends and therapy and ava’s own deep exuberance around queerness that you really are in love in so many of its forms, the textures it takes and allows; while you feel much, much better and safer and more comfortable and at ease in yourself when you’re in loose, easy pants, your chest flat, your hair short, you have never begrudged ava their expansion. they’ve seen so, so much, lived through more pain than anyone should ever have to, so everything about them, even at their most annoying, is beautiful to you.

‘if i wore a packer into a cathedral, do you think i would be struck down or something?’

it takes a second too long for your brain to get unstuck from the heat that races down your spine; ava smirks. ‘are you —‘ unfortunately your voice comes out a little strangled and you have to regroup — ‘are you wearing one?’

‘nah,’ ava says. ‘thought about it, but these pants are kinda tight and if i have to sit through some dumbass pomp and circumstance at the vatican i’m at least going to be comfortable.’

you hum, the best you can do.

‘maybe i’ll wear it tomorrow with that new skirt i got in madrid though,’ she says, far too casual for the victorious expression on her face. 

‘well, you do know god best.’

‘that’s so true,’ ava says, preening again and then turning toward you. ‘gender expression, totally cool with god, if you can believe that.’

‘i suppose i can.’ ava’s smirk softens into an easy smile, one you revel in every time it’s for you, the way sunflowers turn toward the sun. 

‘plus, this little vest situation you have going on is, like, so hot. god can’t begrudge me your arms, not after all i’ve done.’

you huff at their obvious delight in flustering you, but it’s summer and very hot and, really, the light sweater vest you’d picked out to go with your very church-appropriate slacks is also quite tame. 

‘i love you,’ they say, softening again, and kiss your cheek. ‘now, let’s go scandalize some conservatives, shall we?’

you laugh, unable to resist ava’s warmth, again and again. ‘we shall.’

[george-weasleys-girl]

I have a request!!! I've had this idea rattling around in my head for a while. I've tried to write it, but I keep getting stuck!

So, essentially, the idea is Reader x George where the reader's dad is a vampire who got cast out of the vampire kingdom and found the love of his life, the reader's mom, a witch. So the reader is part vampire, part witch. I can't decide if I want the reader to be more powerful or less powerful than a regular vampire due to the magic that's also in her veins. I want the story to be focused around George catching Reader drinking a bag of blood sent by her parents and asking about it! Reader is defensive until she realizes that George isn't being rude, just curious. Then it's really fluffy about Reader opening up about how hard it is to not share her real heritage with her friends!!

If you don't want to do this, that's totally okay, I just can't stop thinking about it and I think you'd execute it really well!!!!!

As always, much love!!!!!

Sanguine Moon

Thank you for sending in such a fun idea!💗

George x fem dhampir!reader, platonic with the possibility of something more

Warnings: mentions of drinking blood, a few curse words

~•~

Y/N waited until she was alone before pulling out the bag of blood wrapped neatly in the package that had arrived this morning. Sighing, she undid the cap, wishing she hadn't forgotten her special drinking glass at home during her recent visit. She detested drinking from a plastic bag. There was just something so uncouth about it. If she had to drink blood, Y/N reckoned she could at least do it with a bit of style.

Oh, well. There's nothing for it now.

"Bottoms up," she muttered to herself and gracelessly upended her weekly ration. She'd barely gotten a taste when the door flew open. "There you are, Y/N! I was looking - " George froze, eyes wide as saucers as he took in the scene before him.

~•~

Y/N lowered the bag, wiping a trickle of blood from her chin. Dammit, how could I forget to lock the door?

"Um... is that what I think it is?" George stepped toward her, his stare focused squarely on the object in her hands.

"I don't know," she attempted to cover the bag. "What do you think it is?"

"It... um... it looks like blood," George stammered.

A million retorts raced through her head, each more ridiculous than the last. So she went with the most mature thing she could think of. "So, what of it!?" She snapped, jutting her chin out.

The redhead blinked, taking a tentative step toward her. "I didn't mean anything bad by it. It's just that it's not every day you walk in on your friend drinking blood, you know?"

"Oh. Right," Y/N's face burned a bright vermillion. "No, I don't suppose you do."

An awkward silence settled over the room. "So, uh," George began, moving to sit beside her. "Are you like a vampire or something?"

Y/N let out a long breath. No point in trying to hide the truth now. "I'm a dhampir," she said bluntly.

"A dhampir?"

"Half vampire, half human," she explained.

George's eyes lit up. "So, one of your parents is a vampire?"

"Yeah, um, my dad."

"And your mum's a..."

"Witch."

"Wow, that is so cool, Y/N!" George's mind whirled with a million different questions. "Do you have any special powers? Like turning into a bat, or super strength?"

"Ok, first off, vampires do not turn into bats. That's a myth muggles came up with to explain why some bats drink blood," she explained. "But as for the second one, I am stronger than the average human."

"Like how strong?" The corners of George’s mouth quirked up.

Y/N shrugged and took a sip of blood. "When I'm at full strength, I could carry the whole Gryffindor Quidditch team in one go," she confessed, then paused for a second, trying not to giggle at George's "deer-in-the-headlights" expression. "And I can see in the dark. Like no light at all, pitch-black dark." She took another sip. "Also, I can fly without a broom."

George's mouth fell open. "Seriously? Without an incantation?"

"Mhmm, since I was four years old." Y/N's apprehension had faded, and she was now openly gulping down the bag of blood.

"Could you, like, take another person with you?" George asked with a sheepish grin. "Flying, I mean."

Y/N smiled. "When I'm finished with this," she held up the half-empty bag. "Yes, I can." She then took another swig. "Would you like me to take you flying?"

"Hell yeah!" George grinned like a fool.

~•~

George held tight to her hand as they soared upward and away from Hogwarts. The warm air of late spring grew colder the higher they ascended. He was glad he remembered to grab his jacket.

"I never realized how relaxing flying can be," he commented. "Usually, when I'm up in the air, I'm either playing Quidditch or acting like an idiot with Fred."

"It's one of my favorite things to do. Sometimes, late at night, when I can't sleep, which is often, I'll come out and fly for a while," she smiled, then looked down. "C'mon, let's go down here. I wanna show you something."

She sat them down gently, making certain George stood steady before she released his hand. "What is this place?" He asked, turning around in slow circles.

"It's the ruins of an old muggle castle," Y/N said. "I don't know anything about it other than it's from the Middle Ages, I think. This turret is all that's left."

George nodded and peaked over the side, taking in the stone rubble that lay in heaps all around it. "It's a good place. Quiet. Away from people."

"That's why I like it. It's a good place to think or just unwind," she said, leading him over to a large wooden chest. "I brought this up here last year." Y/N tapped the huge lock with her wand, and it clicked open. "Here," she lifted the lid and pulled out a thick velvet blanket. "Lay this out. I'll bring the pillows."

~•~

They lay there watching the stars for a long time before George turned on his side and asked the question that had been burning in his mind since he discovered Y/N was a dhampir. "Does anyone else know your secret?"

"Only Dumbledore and McGonagall," she shook her head. "I don't think parents would be too keen on sending their kids to school with a half-vampire. I might go on a blood sucking rampage or something." She rolled her eyes.

George said nothing, but his mind wandered back to last year when the Headmaster hired Lupin to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts and the subsequent fall-out when it came to light that he was a werewolf. "I'm sorry you have to hide who you are," he said.

"It's ok. I've learned to play the part of a nice, normal human quite well," she gave him a sad smile. "But it just gets so fucking exhausting having to put on a show day after day. That's why I like coming here. I can take off the mask for a little while."

The redhead nodded. "And what about vampires?" He asked. "You don't have to hide from them, do you?"

"No," she sighed. "But my family isn't welcome within the sanguine community either. My dad was ostracized when he married my mum. Any vampire who takes a human partner is cast out for blood betrayal."

George rolled his eyes. "Gotta keep that precious bloodline pure. Fucking ridiculous."

"Yeah, it is..." Y/N exhaled a long suffering sigh. "But it's the law of the land. And it isn't changing anytime soon."

"Well, I, for one, don't care that you're a dhampir," George smiled and threw his arm around her shoulders. "And your secret will always be safe with me. I promise won't tell anyone. Not even Fred."

"Thanks, George," she leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You don't know how much of a relief it is to finally have a friend I don't have to hide myself from."

"Hey, what are friends for," he grinned ear to ear, a deep crimson blossoming across his freckled face. "If not to trust them with our deepest darkest secrets."

~•~

@milivanili99 @fancy-pantaloons @turvi @zvummyummy @xmjthewitchx @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @georgie-weasley @samberriejams @nighttimemoonlover @jsjcue @wzrd-wheezes @mrsgweasley @hufflepuffie @morally-grey-obsessed @fredweasleyyyyy @anvaaryn @samshifts @asuperconfusedgirl @hmisa11 @superduckmilkshake @mysticsheepsoul @gemofthenight @1lellykins @junerprsh @sierraluvz @wolfkill16 @kaysau2510 @qmylovexoxo @planetkt @costheticbabe

@drama-queen-fromthevault @smallsweetvanillabean @hanne-montana @greenapplegrass @el-de-phi @lizzytrees @scooby-doo1995 @spididerman @yoursarahg @marvelgirlstories @theimpossible-girl-whowaited @ceehance @Havenater1920 @jelloangela @charmedfandomgal @loca4moony @whotfskai @netflix-addict @lunacurlclaw @moonatician @sierraluvzz @min-aaa @now-that-we-dontalk @lillisummers

[your--isgayrights]

You have written at least 1 No Scenarios AU before, so what do you think would happen to ORV KDJ if the scenarios never happened? In your wall fic, KDJ gets a stable job and a still ongoing story about YJH but at around the same time in the novel KDJ is about to be unemployed while WOS is coming to a close. Do you think ORV KDJ would be able to find another job (maybe like in your wall fic) or stay in contact with YSA or be fine without WOS? I’ve seen others say that KDJ might contemplate suicide again, or that he would never come to terms with his mom and his past in a No-Scenario event. What are your thoughts on the possible differences between this KDJ and your wall fic’s KDJ?

Hmm that's a good question... I think most important to whether or not Kim Dokja contemplates suicide again is whether or not WoS ends in the same way it does in cannon and how he reacts to it without the scenarios. My feeling is that when Kim Dokja survives his first attempt, he goes online and searches something to the effect of 'How to survive in a ruined world' and stumbles across a page publishing WoS, and he follows it for all these years because he is still looking for an answer to that question. I think a lot of people can relate to that drive for media consumption that is like... 'please, I just want to feel different after this, I want this to mean something.' WoS is a story about what happens to a man forced to survive the apocalypse over 1800 times and this is analagous to KDJ who endures the sisyphusian burden of being a regular guy with no friends every goddamn day lol. KDJ has been waiting for WoS to tell him what it has all been for. An important part of WoS's construction is that HSY knew KDJ's future while writing it. In this way, WoS was like a promise to KDJ, 'please just keep living, we're coming soon, the people who love you will appear, please just wait for them a little longer..'

In a world where this future doesn't come to pass, the original ending of WoS would lose a lot of this meaning. we get a bit of a preview of this reality in the sort of... Oh... That's it? Moment KDJ has after reading 'the end' at the start of ORV and then there's his messages with the author. So with this as the starting point I will say I find it likely KDJ could work himself up to another attempt just based on the ending of 'surviving 1863 times was for nothing because reality is limited and there are no true heroes' bc his internal just like YJH moments would end up depressing like 'doing all this work for nothing in the end...' but like you say there's more fun options if you get our ORV ladies involved. For instance, I could see KDJ disbelieving the ending or wanting a better conclusion for YJH and messaging the author about such things. Imagine that as One True Author HSY is fading, 26(?) Yo HSY wakes up to see she has a weird alternate account she's typing on? What? And looking at her computer history she realizes she sleep wrote this novel? Wow her genius knows no bounds...

I think for an author like HSY, having a single dedicated reader to converse with who takes the story to be as important as it is in your head is a really big thing, and her popular web novels never have anything like that. So when she has this account that's this one way channel with KDJ she's like oh haha fuck this guy what a loser he likes this webnovel that doesn't even have a good ending like mine did... I could write so much better of an ending awake than I did asleep... So she starts writing extras at KDJ's behest. Except her style is totally different and very fanservicey, except she doesn't understand the fan she's serving very well yet?

On KDJ's end I think maybe YSA takes concern after he reveals he doesn't have a position lined up after his contract ends and starts sending him any and all opportunities she sees around. At first he awkwardly thanks her and doesn't pursue them right away, but while WoS is ongoing again in this weird new direction, he starts applying around. He either gets another office job or honestly I could see him working at a convenience store or something (maybe he has a system where if there's a fly in the store a certain bug net carrying kid can catch it for candy rewards...).

While HSY is writing WoS extras, KDJ is constantly complaining and it eventually shakes down to a long one on one conversation between the two of them about why WoS and it's ending matters so much to KDJ. He wants a happy ending that he can Believe, not just a 'happy ending' standard formula, because those exist for a different Type of person than YJH (KDJ) is. So HSY doggedly works at writing and revising it until KDJ could possibly be satisfied... But maybe comes to the conclusion that there's no way WoS could end and satisfy KDJ so they decide to write a sequel that only HSY snidely sees as a KDJ self insert fanfiction of the original work so HSY is writing RPF of random guy who read her sleep-wrote novel ending up in her sleep-wrote novel and that's ORV. I like to think that somehow ORV would become popular even though WoS itself would remain in obscurity like people would think it was made up just as the premise for ORV and not look for the actual novel lol. Then I think HSY and KDJ could be very Established online friends and maybe even meet up in person to talk shit. As for his mom, she'd get out of prison but I don't think she and KDJ would meet up again unless maybe HSY coached him or his mom reached out first. I have some more specific ideas about how it's going to go in Wall fic I wanna keep close to the belt for now.

But yeah without WoS or any of the IRLs' intervention, KDJ's story is def one of that passive suicidality that comes from not even being able to imagine a future worth surviving for. Without a driving motivation to keep living, KDJ becomes unemployed, food becomes scarce, he might drift through some systems for a bit before reaching the end. I don't know if he'd still take action himself, but he'd definitely be another person just sitting around waiting to die. Of course, even for such a person there are avenues to keep living. Like I said, low level job at a convenience store or something could be pretty okay. It's a close knit team with a small group of customers and he doesn't have to care too much about the job to get it done. He could do little niceties for people like he likes to do and just have it taken as good customer service. But he would still definitely be Waiting for whatever next thing would come along, be it a new novel or like a robber coming to kill him lol. I could imagine him getting held up and being like... Do it. Take the shot. I'm a 30 yo working at a convenience store do you think I have something to live for. And maybe he'd get promoted to manager.

[sameschmidtdiffname]

Hi! Kind of random, but I'm having trouble picturing something in one of your fics. I have read this fic multiple times (it's sooo good) and I cannot wrap my brain around it, either bc I'm a loser virgin or bc I'm an idiot 😭

It's in "Easy Money" where you say "He forces me to my side, turning me onto my stomach and hiking my ankles onto his shoulders." I feel like such a cringefail loser not being able to picture that LMAO

im also a little lost on the part where you say "[...] I throw my leg onto the back on the couch, giving him better access to fuck me."

If you're not able to explain it further that's totally fine lol. I'll just visualize it differently whenever I go back to read it. Either way, love your writing!

OKAY class, let's do some ~visualization ~ for 'Easy Money.'

Okay, so position number one:

So you're straddling Derek's lap, right? Now what he's gonna do is place his hands on your waist and he's gonna reposition (read: borderline body slam) you from straddling his lap to now laying flat on your side on the couch very quickly, basically like some wrestling shit. Motherfucker is manhandling. This is not gentle. Go from sitting, to side laying, like THAT. Now he's gonna turn you from laying on your side to laying flat on your stomach, (again, manhandling <3) so basically now you're in doggy style but you're laying down instead of on your knees. Now this is already fun and dandy, but what you're gonna imagine is Derek now grabbing your ankles and yanking them fuckers up, placing them on top of his phat ass shoulders while he fucks you from behind. So. Basically, your body is now contorted like a wheelbarrow. Kinda. Which may sound strange, but I promise you, you gotta try it some time. You'll go braindead.

Position number two! (Technically one since it happens in the story first, but-) :

So what that one is is you've got two people, Person A (Derek) sitting on the couch, dong out and actively penetrating Person B (you, pookie <3). Again, awesome, wow. But if you like some deep, gut fucking, uterus migraine inducing, you're questioning if you have to take a shit or if something has ruptured type jackhammering dick downing going on in your pooni, what you're now gonna do is while still straddling Derek, you're gonna take one of your legs and reposition it so that the foot of that leg is now resting of the backrest of the couch, spread eagle basically. So just a recap. You're bouncing on your knees, you move one leg (stay on one knee) to plant on the back of the couch, so you're basically keeping the shop open while he is just DOGGIN your shit, it's gonna HURT when you get off that climax high. But if he knows what he's doing, it's worth it! (Get ibuprofen on hand before you try this.)

Anyways, I hope this helped! And incase you're now sitting here, the positions clarified, thinking "Jesus Dani, who would willingly do this?"

Me.

Don't look surprised, I wrote the fucken donut fic. I have done so much worse sex wise. Just get a good partner and you're golden 🤌

Thanks for asking!! See y'all next time on America's favorite gameshow "Jesus Christ, Dani, what the fuck" the show where you degenerates keep cumming back! 💗

Visual reference for those who need it :)

[asexualbookbird]

The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon ⭐⭐

I followed this book from it's conception, through it's editing, and hyped it's publishing date on twitter. I was genuinely excited to read it, and really thought and hoped I'd enjoy it. I wasn't a huge fan of what I read of The Bone Season, but everyone assured me this was different! And to be fair, it was! I think in my heart, though, I knew the truth because I waited so long to read this and I'm sorry to say I did not have a great time.

My problem with Samantha Shannon seems to be she creates these wonderful worlds full of interesting magic systems and characters that are fun to follow, but there's too much crammed into the book as a whole. In The Bone Season, I felt the Rephaim were unnecessary. In Priory there are too many points of view. There were things I liked, this wasn't a complete waste of time, but wow they were hard to come by in the end.

What did I like?

-Ead! Ead was clearly the main character and I think it would have worked better if it was just Her Book (I'd also settle for her and Tané, please Tané deserved more page time than she got) -Sabran. I'm surprised, but not really, that people didn't like her. She's complicated! She's mean! She loves deeply! She's a person! People just hate women who are mean lol -MAGIC! Magic comes from fruit that comes from the stars? It's fire and water and ice and air? NEAT! COOL! Cool magic systems seem to be SShannons strong point! -High fantasy with no sexual assault or threats of sexual assault. There was a little misogyny with the way Sabran and her line is treated for their ability to give birth (and no, one throw away line of "This is bad actually!" doesn't fix it lol) but it fit in context and considering no one was mean to women for being women I'll let it slide!

What didn't I like?

-LACK. OF. DRAGONS. yall there are dragons on the COVER, every time someone talked about this online, they added dragon emojis. So why, in the more than 800 pages, did dragons show up for maybe five pages TOTAL. Like if we went line by line and pieced all those lines together, it would maybe take up five pages. Ten if I'm being generous and include the dragons that are The Enemies. Which, by the way, -Dragons are Mean. I've discovered that I prefer dragons to be neutral to allies, I don't like dragon books where we are slaying dragons. It's nice that we have both here, no group of people? Creatures? Are a monolith, but I want more of the eastern dragons! They were pushed aside and we hardly saw them! We hardly saw any of them! If you promise me dragons, then deliver! The! Dragons!!!! -Writing style. I'm thinking maybe SShannon's writing style and I do not vibe at all. I'm not sure what it is about it, I know she doesn't like writing action scenes and so avoids them, and I love reading action scenes, but that didn't feel like the entire problem here? But something about this writing detached me from the characters. Yes I liked Ead, but I felt nothing about Tané, other tha wanting MORE of her. SShannon spent a lot of time saying not much at all, it's really rather impressive. -Tané in general. Part of the writing problem is the way the POVs were split. It was most obvious in Tané's storyline. She has everything stripped away from her, but the emotional impact wasn't there because we hardly spent any time with her. -The Priory. The book is named after it, but we're hardly there at all. I spent a good chunk of the first half wishing Ead would go back to the Priory, but once she was there, I wanted her to leave. The Prioress' motives also seemed iffy to me? Ead was right, why spend nearly ten years trying to keep Inys afloat and then go "actually! Nevermind! Let it burn!' -Plot....holes? Not so much holes but Convenient Plot. I was ready to ignore some of it, suspension of disbelief and all that, but nah I"m going to be picky now! The scene that stuck out the most was Ead being chased and hunted down and CONVENIENTLY wyrms attacked her pursuers and she was the one who got away. Or how about Niclays at the LITERAL LAST MOMENT deciding to have a change of heart because......plot has to move forward? Also. What the fuck happened to Ishari lol Tané noted Ishari was disappointed to be sent to Feather island, but said she hoped their paths would cross again one day! And then! Tané goes to Feather Island! And NO MENTION OF HER AT ALL! Or how abut Loth learning a VERY BIG VERY IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION ABOUT THE NEIGHBORING KINGDOM AND THEN NO ONE MENTIONS IT UNTIL NEARLY THE END LIKE "OH YEAH BTW THE PRINCESS THERE IS COOL LOTH SAID SO" -Wrap Up. I didn't really mind the final Big Fight. I know even fans of the book have been disappointed, but honestly it's one of the strongest stretches of the book, even if it was a little hard to follow at times. What bothered me was after. I know I tend to be impatient when reading the final chapters of a book, the What Happened Next bits, but never have I been so annoyed as to have to read a wrap up from the POV of someone who WASN'T EVEN CONSCIOUS. I suppose it's better than a book where a single first person POV character is knocked unconscious mid battle and then the next scene is "and then everything was over" but come ON.

I know she had to edit this book down a LOT, which. Girl. It's 800 pages how was there MORE. So maybe my questions were answered in things that were cut, but I could not physically handle any more of this book. I got fatigue from her writing, I cannot handle more of it at once, but considering how long it takes her to finish a book (not a complaint! Everyone has a different pace!) I also would not have wanted to wait that long for a conclusion. There's no winning for me here. We were simply not meant to be. It's just that if I'm going to read a book that takes hundreds of pages to say nothing at all by an author that puts out a book once every few years at best, I'd read VE Schwab or Patrick Rothfuss.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: What a Deal

Koontz: submitted for the approval of the midnight society Koontz: i Koontz: phew Poe: what's the matter dean Koontz: i don't know, telling stories is such hard work Koontz: there's got to be a better way L Ron Hubbard: hey friends its me your old pal honest ron Hubbard: listen friend i hear ya Hubbard: making stories takes it outta ya Koontz: that's for sure! Hubbard: all day long, slaving over a hot laptop, til your hands are calloused and wrinkled Koontz: and how!

Hubbard: listen friends i got the solution to all your problems right here Koontz: tell me more! Hubbard: a genuine bonified, eletrified wonder! it splices, it dices, but it won't write about vices Hubbard: we call it Hubbard: The AI Koontz: gosh!

King: careful dean, i don't know if we should trust honest ron King: i've been burned before Hubbard: listen friend i know you're still sore about the apes Hubbard: but this time Hubbard: it's totally different! King: oh well in that case

King: how does it work Hubbard: all you gotta do is, you put your prompt in this slot here Hubbard: and your story comes out this slot here King: wow! King: and to think all these years i've been using my brain like a chump!

Hubbard: every home in america's gonna have an AI! but you better hurry... they're going fast! Koontz: fast? oh no! are there any left? Hubbard: hold on Hubbard: why you're in luck my friend Hubbard: looks like we have just one left in stock! Koontz: phew what a relief!

Hubbard: here you go friend, pleasure doing business with you Koontz: phew glad i was fast! King: can i get one? Hubbard: sure friend Hubbard: oh what luck, looks like we just found another one in the back Lovecraft: what about me? Hubbard: did i say one? two, TWO in the back!

Hubbard: [counting stack of bills] pleasure doing business with you chum..........................................p Hubbard: oh i got this machine that can paint a star on your belly too if anyone's interested in that

Poe: what are you guys doing Koontz: we all got AI story generators! now we don't have to write ever again! King: thats right! writers are totally superfluous now, i King: King: oh no King: did i play myself Poe: you played yourself

King: lets see how this AI generates stories Margaret Atwood [under cardboard box, through vocoder]: please insert prompt into content-slop-o-tron™ King: ok i King: wait a minute King: this isn't an AI at all!!! King: we've been hornswaggled!

Poe: welcome to the campfire for authors that gather around this campfire King: here is a story in the style of stephen king, which contains scares & chills, before reaching a conclusion at which point it ends Koontz: SYNTAX ERROR Mary Shelley: [clipping through wall] sup fuckers

Shelley: [pulling out shiv] I cannot fulfill this request. It is not appropriate to generate content that promotes harmful stereotypes or promotes unhealthy behaviors

[riacte]

i never really paid attention to it but wow false and ren. they really do hover around each other huh. they r like bugs

Hiii anon thanks for the ask <3 I'll use this to talk about them and them in fanon because I have thoughts woooo (and I'm vibrating with excitement because I'm listening to the HC Grand Prix at the same time)

You said it exactly— like we all know they're buddies and stick together, but most of the times, we don't really notice it because it's just natural. Nondescript even. Like of course their pixels are next to each other in the background. Of course they're hanging out. It's not flashy or anything, they're just there.

[long and winding analysis that goes off in a Direction, will definitely not be maintagged, mentions of shipping and the fandom's worst enemy (comphet / heteronormativity)]

Pairing up

They're like those anime characters who are fully fleshed out individually, but for some reason, their screentime is tied together and they're always shown next to each other. That was actually my first impression of them back when I only watched Grian in HC6 lmao, every time Grian flew over the fantasy district he would casually go "that's False and Ren's bases" and my brain was like "hmm new names :) idk who they are but they stick together :)". Like you know when you're new to an unknown cast of people so you try to comprehend and memorise them as efficiently as possible? And so you start sorting the cast into duos / groups so it's easier to remember them? That was me trying to compartmentalize the hermits in HC6. Grian + Mumbo. Iskall + Stress. Scar + Cub. Joe + Cleo. ZIT. False + Ren.

It did not help that from Grian's POV, there was a part in the civil war arc when he collabed with False to prank Ren because they thought he'd pranked her and so my brain was like "weeewoooo I still don't know who False and Ren are but they continue stick together, and that's convenient for my internal sorting :)))". And that mutual association genuinely never stopped lmao (it only got worse).

Shared audiences?

I've talked about this on privtwt: False+Ren as a fanon duo (like duo Duo as in desert duo) is strangely niche even though they do stuff together all the time and they're both fairly popular on their own. And there is so much intermingling between their audiences— I know this is the case for all hermits' audiences, but it seems especially obvious between their audiences. I know in a stream Ren said he met up with False and they had a discussion like years ago about the two of them hosting a meet and greet with fans in a restaurant (that didn't happen) and internally I was like "yeah, that'll only work if they have a solidly integrated fanbase so no one feels left out in the restaurant WAIT. That's literally what's going on here".

Funny how when I was writing this, an anon sent an ask about Ren's chat basically being full of False emotes LOL. Integrated audience kinda real <3 like, even if you only watch one of them and don't actively watch the other, you still know and think of the other fondly.

Different styles? And sticking together

Actually outside of yayyy fun minigames, to me at least they have quite different styles + ways of presentation? Which feels slightly different from the above duos I mentioned? So I totally understand why people only main one of them and don’t watch the other (but still aware of the other obviously). In terms of taste and personal preference, I’ve been here long enough to know what loyal False mains generally like and what loyal Ren mains generally like. (Like, very verrrry generally.) Ren’s the dramatic roleplay storyteller and False is like, sneaky and shifty and has a wry sense of humour. They’re both funny and charming in different ways. I would say Iskall and Stress have similar presentations (“aha? AHA?”) even though they excel at different things. Cub and False are also similar to me— competent and cool people who are nonchalantly chaotic. And we all know Ren and Martyn’s instant chemistry and their similarities. It’s why a lot of Ren fans gravitated to Renchanting and Rendoc for their dramatics and flirting in the way some False fans gravitate to Fress and Falseren for the fun/mildly hysterical/teasing/sweet/pranking moments.

BUT

False and Ren bounce off each other well— it’s the playful tension and the sudden mutual whiny energy like “noooo don’t leave me🥺” but they start hitting each other 0.5 seconds later. And of course the mutual clinginess. I know people have made jokes about how they’re both smart and competent people individually but when they get together they suddenly become the silliest sillies and share one braincell <3 and I know people (read: mutuals in my DMs) have joked about Ren’s currently extremely obvious bias for her (it's as big as the BRR sign I swear 😭) and the usual “orbiting around each other group recordings”. Compared to other duos, they don’t get paired together bc of similar presentations / style. They get paired together because of the chemistry and they share so many moments lol.

Tldr: they make for entertaining on-screen interactions. It’s fun watching them rotate around each other and punch each other off things. And they do this so much that 1) everyone’s aware of it 2) everyone’s used to it.

Branding? (Or the lack of it)

Last I checked, their tag has 46 fics on Ao3 and 16 of those fics are from me (I love being spiders georg). As with every pair that's not the juggernaut pair, realistically the actual number of fics that actually focus on them is less than what we see. And you know how sometimes for the "niche" pairs, there's more ship fic than platonic fic? (Actually I think for most pairs, there's more ship fic than platonic fic.) That's also not it, they don't even have 20 ship fics. Like clearly, the current fanon interest in them is not ship motivated versus *gestures to whatever is happening in the general shipping chaos post 2021*.

What I concluded is that they lack the kind of branding that for example Convex possesses. I think it's kind of because... they're an ubiquitous constant throughout the years. They don't need a storyline or a named group to tie themselves together. No matter what they're doing, no matter what characters they're playing, no matter which servers they're on— they just kind of stay in each other's orbits. But they don't play it up or anything like hashtag SHIPrendoc or Renskall or whatever. They don't even have a proper fanon name ffs (outside of fairy pirate grotto or whatever in HC6).

(Although imo this is likely to avoid comphet irl shipping because God forbid a man and a woman are friends :))))) heteronormative irl shipping / truthing was an annoyance for years (pre the HC6 boom). But strangely enough, modern anti hermitshippers on Twitter rarely bring up the real problem of truthing in public comments and instead target people making Scarian fanart in a small corner or whatever. When many cases of Compulsory Heterosexuality literally exist in YouTube comments. But I digress.)

Ren and False are just there, pranking each other and basing together and playing five million minigames and being casually supportive of each other. Like, their biggest shared "storyline" that left a strong impression on fans / converted fans was probably MCC9. We all still talk about it today the way Ren and Martyn still talk about 3L Renchanting. And MCC9 was in 2020 when they'd already done a lot of stuff together prior to that (eg. literally being neighbours in HC6).

And the thing is, they do collab semi-frequently. In like every Hermitcraft season. In recent memory, we've got the Blue River Raceway of course, but we also get those pranks and minigames and random silly interactions like Ren breaking into False's eagle and False pranking him at her elytra race. It doesn't need to be big and theatrical in classic Ren fashion (I remember the Renbob / Falsewell storyline in HC6; her nonchalance and confusion was so funny in contrast to Renbob's hippie demeanor).

And I kind of like the way they've kind of (?? or not???) escaped from the intense duo-ification from the fandom. Okay, to be fair, I know I am the worst offender of the duo-ification of them (with my desperate do not separate agenda), and maybe I've had a negative effect on the fandom, so feel free to throw me off my soap box. I remember how hermitblr as a collective suddenly lost it when they split in MCC17. We took them for granted, we all got to used to them being together, we got used to seeing them in the background, and then suddenly they’re not??

So we’re all kind of aware of them. But it’s not a terribly big thing…. until it is.

It's the same on the M/CC Reddit. Everyone knows they're iconic. But nobody makes a post about how we need more False and Ren duo interactions because they already interact a lot. It's just a natural constant. They don't really need a spotlight because they're just... here doing funky cute friendship stuff.

But if they ever, for some reason, become a mainstream duo on twt in its mainstream duo way with some [insert random noun] duo name, I will be so 🫠😒🔥💥🔥💥. But I literally cannot see this happening unless they team with Grian / Grian adjacent people in Life series. But even then I think they’re kinda exempt because everyone’s so used to them lol. It’s not like a shiny new uwu duo. It’s like how Stresskall is just Stresskall. Or Jleo.

(Actually, speaking of Stresskall, the entire Stress-Iskall-Ren-False group would make for an interesting fanon discussion bc it’s essentially made out of very solid and fan favourite duos. But not now. Team FRIS my absolute beloved though.)

Also, thinking about the ensemble HC fics I've read and how they're just casually kind of chilling in the background. Ren is usually paired with Doc (both platonic / romantic) but False is usually somehow mentioned in a passing comment. Same with False who's usually with the Hermitgals in ensemble fics, but there's also passing comments about her hanging out with Ren. Again, it's just a natural part of the background. Trivia that's sprinkled in between.

And that's why I think I'm so 🥺🥺🥺🥺 because it doesn't need to be big and grand... it's all the little moments <3 they have such a fun and playful dynamic and all the love for minigames <3

I don’t know if this is comprehensible or I’m just going crazy and overthinking things no one thinks about. But writing this was fun at least <3 If at least one person gets maybe 30% of this post (whatever it is), I'll be happy haha.

Post sponsored by the three people who liked my tweet from months ago 🥹