#tried to get some emotion here between anger and sorrow

[seaworthit]

She simply lamented, “How has it come to this?”

[seelestars]

Hello. I was wondering if you could you write a platonic angst story where the reader is Blade's child. I was thinking usually the only thing that could calm Blade down when the mara flared up was Kafka's spirit whisper but what if being around the reader was also able to calm Blade down for some reason because Blade barely spends any time with the reader unless it's during one of his harsh training sessions and one night the reader decides enough was enough and started packing their stuff but they left behind their lucky weapon (that's your choice) and Blade found it the next morning.

➴ ✫ * ✧ BLADE EXCEPT HE COMMITS CHILD NEGLECT??

a/n : sorry if this isn’t the best .. i’ve only written angst a handful of times .. i tried my best w this llololo

he felt calm when he was near you, even though few words were exchanged between you two. it was almost as if you could communicate through your gazes at each other. there was a hidden fondness behind his cold eyes as he pat your head gently.

you loved him. but you didn’t understand why he had to do what he does.

“dad.. why do you have to be a stellaron hunter and do bad things…?” you asked once out of the blue while blade was training. he paused in his movements for a moment, tensing up at your question. he didn’t want to tell you, always wanting to protect your pure innocence with white lies. “it’s so dangerous and dad always gets hurt doing so.. why can’t we be normal?” you had a sad look on your face as you stared at him hopefully, wishing things were different. he sheathed his sword, walking up to you and letting out a sigh.

you were right in wondering so. …why couldn’t the two of you be normal?

no, that was a dumb question.

things could never be normal again after he got cursed with immortality. things were never going to be normal for you the moment you were born, as his child.

“it’s alright. no matter how dangerous things get, ill always protect you.” he mumbled to you, trying his best to soothe your worries. you were the most precious thing to him after all, what kind of father would he be if he were to tell you how much he was suffering just by being alive?

oh how naive you were by believing that. he’d always protect you, is what you told yourself constantly.

then why was he around you less and less?

you were heartbroken, wondering if you had done something to anger him terribly.

blade felt his heart clench as he watched you ask kafka about him from afar. he killed all of his emotions along with his past self. …so, why did he feel a tinge of sorrow when he sees how your oblivious self asked innocent questions? all of this was to protect you. to not endanger you with his presence. ..right?

“dad doesn’t care about me anymore..” you were currently sitting on the floor of your bedroom, hugging your knees to your chest as you sobbed and sniffled. your eyes felt puffy and sore the more you cried, your hands not doing a great job at wiping your tears.

and then you chose to make a decision.

a decision that was childish. but expected of you.

you decided to leave. to leave, to find comfort elsewhere. to find affection he no longer gave from others. you hurriedly shoved your belongings into a backpack, wanting to leave as soon as possible. to where? you didn’t know. you just knew you wanted to get out of here.

after you had finished gathering your belongings, you jumped through the window of the inn the stellaron hunters were temporarily staying at. it was late at night, so you doubt anyone was awake. trying your best to be as quiet and subtle as possible, you extended a rope down to the ground, using it to climb down from the window. the next morning, when the sun just rose, blade walked into your room while making sure his footsteps made minimal noise to not alert you. he had a habit of visiting you before you were awake, just to check on you. though he tried to distance himself from you, his love for you still made him worry about you.

but what he saw instead of your sleeping form shocked him.

you were gone.

the only things left were a mess of drawings on the floor. drawings that you made, depicting your happy moments with blade. his heart always secretly warmed whenever you showed them to him, even though he didn’t express it. upon further inspection, he spotted your wooden sword, causing memories to flash through his head.

“hehe, one day when I grow up.. I’ll be as good with the sword as you are!” visions of your younger self flashed through his mind, he remembered how impressed you were when he first allowed you to watch him train. so, he carved a small harmless wooden sword for you, even when his blacksmith days were in the past. you would constantly play with the wooden sword, pretending like you were fighting tough enemies with it. “hiiiiyah!” you had just won against him in your play fighting (because he let you). there was a small smile on his lips as he watched how proud you were over your victory.

he felt tears well up in the corners of his eyes as he reminisced on your old memories, and how you were gone now. did he go too far?

to become a weapon, he threw away all emotions and feelings he had. or so he thought.

when did he start crying?

…maybe this was the better choice. if you left him and eventually forgot about him, you wouldn’t have to bear the sorrow you would feel once he finally reaches the thing he had been pursuing.

death.

now, he can only hope that you will live a good and happy future, a future that should be very different from his. that was all he asked for. for you to have a fulfilling life and not to take the paths he took, so he could die knowing you were happy.

[fatecantstopme]

Hi 👋 can I please  request Dream x reader. The reader tries to stop Dream & desire from fighting & it ends in sumt. Thanks 🫣 👉👈🫣

A/N: I hope this is what you’re looking for! 💜

Dream's Desire

Pairing: Morpheus x reader

Summary: Being married to an Endless is not an easy task on a good day, it’s especially difficult when you’re caught in the middle of a fight between two of them.

Warnings: angst, fighting/arguing, bit of fluff, use of pet names, smut. unprotected sex (P in V), oral (F receiving).

You never thought you would be here, sitting at a table in the waking world, having dinner with not one, not two, but four Endless. Morpheus had not wanted to come, but you'd insisted, wanting to meet at least some of his siblings.

It was no surprise to you, nor anyone else, that Dream was in a rather foul mood this evening. It was not that he did not wish to be around his siblings, more so that he wished to keep you as far away from them as possible. At least from two of them.

You hit it off with Death immediately. She was not a difficult woman to get along with and you instantly felt comfortable with her, despite having never met her before. She was also the only sibling Dream felt comfortable allowing you to be around. It would be ironic if it were not so sad.

Dream had told you nothing of his siblings, save their names and a one sentence explanation of how he felt about them. Death was his dearest sibling, whom he loved very much. Despair was simply difficult to be around, given her constant deep sorrow. It was Desire that Dream clearly disliked, though he would not explain why. He simply said, “We do not get along,” with no other explanation. He said it with such a tone of finality, you opted to drop the subject instead of instigating an argument.

You had been married to Dream for several years, but in that time he had never once allowed you to meet any of his siblings. This dinner was Death’s idea, which she proposed in the hopes of getting to meet the woman her brother loved. You only knew of the invitation because Dream was so annoyed by it. Your insistence was enough to make him acquiesce, though begrudgingly.

“More wine?” the server asked as he came up to the table, interrupting the conversation.

“Please,” you said with a smile, the others following suit.

When the server left, Desire took the opportunity to ask you a question. “(Y/N), I must ask you, what made you marry my brother?”

“Desire!” Death quipped, a pointed look gracing her features.

“I am simply curious, sister.”

“Yeah, what made you like him?” Despair asked.

You looked at Dream, who at this moment had such a strong grip on his glass you worried he would shatter it, and laid your hand gently on his arm. The motion seemed to sooth him and his grip lessened.

“Love,” you said simply, addressing Desire directly. “The purest of all emotions.”

“Hmm,” Desire hummed. “Interesting. I was unaware a mortal could fall in love with an Endless without certain…issues arising.”

“Issues?” you asked.

“Desire,” Dream said in a warning tone.

They shrugged as if they could not be bothered by Dream’s warning. “Mortals do not simply fall in love with us. They are made to fall in love with us.”

You looked confused. “As in created for?”

Desire shook their head. “No, my dear. Made as in forced.”

Dream could contain his anger no longer. “Silence, Desire. I will not have you upsetting her.”

You were quick to defend, “Darling, I am not upset. I simply wish to understand.”

“I do not think this is a good topic of conversation for dinner,” Death cut in gently.

Despair, on the other hand, chose to stir the pot, an action she likely learned from her twin. “Who made her love him, Desire?”

“Oh my sweet twin, what an excellent question,” they looked at Dream as they spoke, golden eyes filled with a mischievous glint that made you deeply uncomfortable. “It is not love she feels, it is desire. I made her want him.”

Before you could react, or even so much as blink, Dream was out of his seat and standing behind Desire, yanking their head back to look into his hardened gaze. “You would do well to be silent, Desire,” he growled lowly.

“Dream!” you said worriedly, standing from your chair. You began to move towards him, but Death’s hand on your arm stopped you.

“You do not want to get in the middle of an Endless fight, (Y/N),” she warned.

You looked at your husband’s face and determined he was the angriest you had ever seen him. “Dream,” you said softly, trying to pierce through his hardened exterior.

“You will not speak her name, you will not even think it, or you will face my wrath. Do you understand me?” Dream said angrily.

Desire’s lips curled into a smug smile. “Oh I would not dream of it, brother.”

In the moment of silence that followed, you saw the emotion that fueled Dream’s rage: fear. It was a fear you did not quite understand at first. “Let them go, Dream,” you said firmly.

Dream’s eyes flitted up to meet yours, confirming your suspicions: he was afraid. As if your brain was a few moments behind, it finally clicked into place, and his fears became apparent.

“Desire did not make me love you, Dream. That is not within their power. Even if they are the cause of my initial attraction, the love I have for you is because of you, not some outside influence.”

Dream’s hold on Desire’s hair slackened, allowing the other Endless to regain their poise. “I suppose you will never know, will you?” Desire asked with another smug expression.

“I know,” you insisted. “That is what matters.”

Dream watched you, eyes swimming with emotions, emotions he dared not express in front of others, least of all his siblings.

“Dream?” you asked gently.

He seemed to regain his composure, and moved towards you, hand reaching for yours almost by instinct. “Perhaps we should return to The Dreaming,” he said softly.

You nodded. “I think that would be wise.” You turned to acknowledge Death, but did not spare a second glance for either of the twins. “Let’s go home.”

Dream took your hand in his and guided you to the door, neither of you turning back to look at the three Endless, one of which seemed quite annoyed at the turn of events.

Once you were outside, Dream pulled you close, and the two of you disappeared into a swirl of sand, only to reappear on the shores of The Dreaming.

“Dream?” you ask gently when you feel him pull away from you.

“I think it would be wise for us to discuss this evening’s events,” he said softly, not quite meeting your gaze.

“There’s nothing to discuss, my love.”

He looked up at you in surprise. “Do you not wish to know if Desire is the cause of your affection?”

You shook your head. “I know why I love you, Morpheus. You are my heart and soul. I couldn’t possibly love anyone the way I love you.”

He always loved to hear you say his name, it was somehow calming amidst the chaos of life. This time was no different, although he had to admit he found a deeper appreciation for it in the moment.

You stepped towards him, reaching out in the hopes that he would take your hand. When he did, you smiled warmly, the love that you felt so deeply was reflected in his face as he regarded you.

“May I show my love to you?” you asked softly.

Dream looked confused for a moment, not quite understanding what you meant.

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course,” he answered immediately.

You smiled. “Take me to our room, darling.”

Realization dawned on his handsome face and he offered you a small smirk before pulling you close. You blinked slowly, eyes opening to find yourself in the middle of your bedroom. You reached up and touched his chest, eyes searching for any trepidation in his. Seeing none, you slipped your hands beneath his coat, sliding it gently off his shoulders. The dream lord shrugged the coat off, ignoring it as it fell to the floor.

“I don’t ever want you to question my love for you,” you whispered.

“I am sorry, beloved. It is difficult for me to understand how someone so perfect could possibly love someone like me.”

“That’s nonsense,” you insisted. “You’re basically a god. I’m nothing in comparison.”

He grabbed your face and held your gaze with intensity. “You are everything, my love. Never belittle yourself in my presence again or I shall have to remind you of your worth.”

You smiled warmly. “My apologies, Morpheus.”

His hands slid from your cheeks to your waist, allowing him to pull you closer. “You are forgiven, my darling.” He pressed his lips against yours in a soft, loving kiss.

“I want to show you how much I love you, Morpheus. Please.”

“How would you wish to do that?”

You could tell by the mischievous glint in his eyes that he knew exactly how you planned to do it, but it was clear he simply wanted to hear you say it.

“I’m going to touch every inch of your skin, worship your body the way you deserve. I’m going to give you more pleasure than you can handle. And I’m going to make love to you for hours…until you can’t think of anything but me.”

His breath was already ragged as he watched you, pupils dilating with desire. “You are already all I think about.”

You chuckled lightly. “I believe you, but I’d like to make sure of it. If you don’t mind, of course.”

“I would never say no to you, beloved. Especially when you ask so sweetly.”

“Good,” you breathed out before grabbing the back of his head and pulling him down to you, lips hungrily latching onto his.

Despite being an Endless, Dream could be exceptionally impatient. He loved the feeling of your hands against his body, soft and gentle against his skin. He could not stand another moment without that feeling.

In the blink of an eye, your clothes simply melted away along with his, bodies completely bare against each other. "Impatient, are we?" you teased lightly.

"Only for you, my love."

You smiled, running your fingers through his unruly black hair, reveling in the softness of his locks. He moaned softly against your lips, always enjoying the way you played with his hair.

Moments later, you found yourself on your back, the lord of dreams hovering over you, kissing your neck softly. You weren't surprised by the quick turn of events, you knew who you'd married.

"Darling, I believe I was supposed to be reminding you of my love," you said softly, voice breathy.

He lifted his head just long enough to say, "I can feel your love with each touch, beloved. I wish only to ensure you can feel mine."

You sighed happily as his lips reattached themselves to your skin. You knew how the Endless felt about you, you'd always known. From the moment you'd looked into his starlit eyes, you knew.

Morpheus preferred to worship you like the queen you were. He would allow you moments of dominance when you preferred it, but only to please you. It was not that he wished to control you, only to ensure you received as much pleasure as possible and that your pleasure came from him and him alone.

His lips moved slowly down your body, taking care to touch every sensitive spot he came across. He knew where they all were of course, having discovered them many years prior.

When he reached his desired destination, you let out a small whine, anticipation and desperation filling the sound.

His dark eyes flickered up to yours. "What is it my darling?" He knew very well what you wanted, but he always did enjoy teasing you.

"Morpheus, please," you whimpered.

The dream lord smiled, deciding to take pity on you and give you all that you desired. After all, the purpose of this particular activity was to ensure you felt loved.

He lowered his head and began to feast upon you in such a manner that all the air was stolen from your lungs. You could not breathe, nor think; all you could do was feel.

"Morpheus," you gasped, tendrils of pleasure snaking up and down your body.

He did not stop, nor did he slow, until your body began to shake and your moans filled the room. He allowed you to pull him up by his hair as the aftershocks of your orgasm washed over you.

"May I return the favor?" you asked softly against his lips as he kissed you.

"Hmm," he hummed. "As much as I would love to feel your lips around me, I would much rather make love to you. I fear I cannot wait much longer."

You smiled as you touched his face gently. "I think I'm okay with that."

He returned your smile, hands slowly caressing your soft curves. He bent his head, tracing the hills and valleys of your body with his lips. "So soft," he whispered reverently. "So beautiful."

Every moment with Dream was always special, every second in his arms pleasurable, but there was something so uniquely wonderful about this moment--something that was beyond words.

You had promised to worship him, provide him unimaginable pleasure, but instead you found yourself the worshiped one. Every touch of his hands, kiss of lips, and movement of his body brought you to the highest of pleasures.

Dream lined up his body with yours, eyes flickering to your face as if asking permission to continue. Your hips shifted slightly, eyes locked on his, silently begging him to give you what you both craved.

Your back arched off the bed as he entered you, soft whimpers of his name leaving your mouth like a prayer. There was nothing like making love to an Endless--and Dream was deeply passionate, even for an Endless.

Your mortal body had never felt anything remotely close to what Dream could do to you, no Earthly pleasure could ever compare. He knew your body, your soul--knew how to bring you to the edge and make you fall over and over again.

By the time Dream neared his own release, you were completely spent, body practically vibrating from the onslaught of delicious pleasure you'd been experiencing.

"Beloved," he whispered into your skin as his hips began to falter. You clenched around him, earning a low moan from deep in his chest. He gasped your name as he spilled his seed within you, body shaking with tremendous pleasure.

As he always did after making love to you, Dream gently cleaned your body. He could have simply used magic to do so, but there was something wonderfully reverent about using his own hands to cleanse you. Besides, he would use any excuse to touch your soft skin, your perfect body.

"Do you feel loved, my darling?" Dream asked softly as he laid down beside you.

You turned your head to face him, a small smile dancing across your lips. "You always make me feel loved, Morpheus."

He matched your expression as he leaned in to kiss you softly.

"I hope you know I love you just as much," you whispered.

He nodded. "I was foolish to ever think otherwise."

You smiled. "As long as you admit it."

"You are a tease, dear wife, but I would not have it any other way."

When Dream kissed you, you swore you could feel the love of an entire universe pouring into your soul. You would never tire of his presence, his gentle touch, nor his love, and in that moment you knew he would sooner burn his realm to the ground than stop loving you.

[jogos-delulu-wife]

Hii, could I request something with Jogo with a male reader? and if you accept, you can choose yourself, you can write sfw or nsfw, whatever you want! take your time.

🥺 I’ve never written for a male reader… BUT ILL TRY >:D

Edit: I tried it feels more gender neutral because it turns out, I really didn’t know where to go without a prompt 🥹

Sat in your bed he plagued your mind, Jogo, that old cursed man. His grumpy persona and bored expression. You shouldn’t be caught up on him. But then you remember his content smile when he’d sit in the light of the warm sun, how he looked so satisfied inhaling on his pipe.

The way his hands lingered on your lower back if he tried to guide you out the way or anywhere else. He was your peer under Kenjaku… and that’s all he should be. He shouldn’t plague your mind when you're at home trying to unwind and relax your muscles after an intense battle with some sorcerers. When you sat in the tub nose just above the water you thought of the time you saw him get into the hot springs. His clothes made him look lanky and undefined, behind those layers of clothes he was well built and defined, watching the dip of his hips you dunked yourself under your tub water forcing the air out of your lungs opening your eyes and sitting up brushing the water back out of your face and hair. “I can’t think of him like that.”

Groaning you let yourself fall back against the cold tub, “what the hell am I thinking.” Yet even in your daily life you saw him in your friends, in the smallest things when you were out. Fingers trailing over small things with a small smile thinking “He would like that.”

Heading back to Dagon’s domain you always saw him just there, slightly envious of all the time the others got to spend here, with him. He was nice enough to you to have conversations, you’d conditioned yourself to know how to talk to him, how to tease him without him blowing a fuse.

There you sat next to him, he was sitting at the foot of a beach chair. You sat behind him leaning your side against his back, he hummed acknowledging you before smoking from his pipe.

“Y/n.” You just side eyed him, “Jogo.”

“What do you find appealing about human nature?” It took you a minute to collect your thoughts, there wasn’t anything that you’d really say was appealing, “humans are full of hate, fear, sadness, anger. They bring things into this world sometimes just to destroy them and make a statement. The world is fucked and so is everyone in it. There are times where it looks like there is no hope because there is no hope. Anyone will tear into anyone for their own gain the world is corrupted…” Jogo looked at you over his shoulder. You had sat up resting your elbows on your knees, hands hanging between yours legs when you hunched over staring at the ground, “Yet, in some of us, we strive to find something more. Something to hold on to until the darkest times. A way to find comfort that can out last the darkest moments, a place of peace where there are no sorrows. Something to hold on tight when your hands feel numb and weak. Call it love, others call it a ridiculous lie. The messed up thing is the brain can differ love for a fictional character from love for a real person in front of you. The brain believes the affection of love is love, if anything appeals to me it’s the thought of love. Do you know what that is, Jogo?”

Jogo looked away from you, staring at the ocean, it was the perfect concept of a beach, white sands, beach waves, bright sun and a cool breeze. He was silent, closing his eyes, puffing from his pipe, “Love isn’t something a curse would so easily understand y/n,” he sighed smoke leaving his mouth, “but as someone born of pure emotion, it’s not entirely impossible to learn and feel how true sentiments resonate inside humans…”

🖤🩶🧡🩶🖤🩶🧡🩶🖤🩶🧡🩶🖤🩶🧡🩶🖤

It wasn’t long after that conversation you’d both fallen into silence, the day passed moderately fast. Until Mahito wanted to play a game of Mahjong. There you sat with Geto, Mahito, Hanami and Jogo. You were watching the game intent on learning. But your mind was far away lingering on Jogo’s words, he looked at you when he said them. Could he feel your romantic interests in him? Had he ignored them for a purpose, did he tell you that for you to understand he knew and didn’t act because he didn’t want to? Your head was aching when you got up leaving the lit area finding Dagon beached covered in the warm sand. You dropped your weight next to him, he looked at you before looking back at the ocean. “Yeah me too buddy.” Was all you said dropping your hand on his head patting him while sighing.

Times passed and stars shined brighter, Mahito’s laughs and screams grew quieter as you spaced out.

“Y/n.” Your mind was lost in the dark waters reflecting the stars, “oí y/n.” Jogo’s fingertips touched your scalp, tapping you a few times before you looked at him, “Yeah?”

He nodded his head for you to follow him when he started walking. Leaving Dagon who had flopped over a while ago alone you pushed yourself up tripping in the sand to follow him.

Walking in comfortable silence you started to over think again, “Jogo..” he didn’t look at you “Y/n…” it’s now or never, “Do you really know what it’s like to feel the raw emotion of love?”

He hummed, “How do you distinguish love and admiration? Say I admire you y/n, I can appreciate every little thing you do. I can appreciate your efforts and support you in any way you ask. I could celebrate your victories and your achievements as a sorcerer. But what makes love different.”

You looked down while walking, before you nodded taking his hand and he eyed you, “Love isn’t about just celebrating every little accomplishment, love isn’t about just supporting someone when they ask. Love,” you stopped interlocking your fingers with his, “Is intertwining your life with someone else. Supporting them not only in the good but in the bad. It’s not about celebrating only the good things that happen but providing comfort and being a pillar for someone to lean on when things can only get worse. Being even the dimmest candle in a dark night if it means you can provide enough light and warmth to give a shred of comfort when hope is lost. Love isn’t just for the pure, peaceful and calm. Love lets you take someone’s hand even when you're unsure of what they really feel. It’ll drive you mad to the point you’d do something ridiculous and out of character to know if someone could even share the same feelings as you.”

Jogo uncurled his fingers from yours, uncurling your hand and pressing your palms together. He spread both your and his fingers out, his head tilting to the side, he was straight faced, “That's what you feel right now y/n?”

Your breathing was quiet and your chest was tight, you swallowed feeling a squeeze in your throat.

“I adore you, and I’d do everything to be here for you always. In a way I guess I am saying I might love you…”

🥹I’m so sorry if it’s not what you wanted i tried but I’m kinda aimless and it turns out getting an organ popped out isn’t the best feeling in the world 💀🩶

[underratedandoverit]

Just A Breath Away

~2k words kip sabian & orange cassidy, it reads extremely gen (but it can be interpreted as pre-shippy considering how this whole au ends up going)

set in immortal fears/the belt corruption au. ive been trying to get back to writing, very slowly, and heres just. a brain barf from last night. i guess thats the best way to describe it. a whole lot of nothing but deep rooted hateful feelings for 2k words for near the beginning of kips healing arc

warnings; unreality, can potentially be read from between the lines as self destructive thoughts. heavy emotional hurt/comfort. kip is just having a really fucking bad time wow

@midnightpretenders0 @stormbornpirate

---------------------------

”I’m only trying to help you.”

Kip stared up at the ceiling of his designated bedroom, the words echoing in his head. He had heard them so many times before in the past, both in and out of this situation he was currently trapped in, and yet it didn’t make receiving them any easier for him. Especially when they came from the one person he really, really didn’t want to hear them from. The one he didn’t believe them from.

He sighed, more annoyed than anything else. Kip shouldn’t be here, and he knew it. He shouldn’t be under this roof, inside these walls, in this house, on this bed. He shouldn’t be related to any of those things, and yet.

And yet.

He was annoyed. No, scratch that, he was angry. At himself mostly, for allowing this to happen, for letting things go on for so long that he ended up here. For not being able to stand on his own two feet, physically or mentally, so that Kip was forced to let someone else do the dirty work for him.

So that Kip was forced under the care of Cassidy.

A quiet groan escaped from him before Kip could stop it, eyes closing as he felt a wave of unwanted emotions washing over him. He couldn’t exactly place them, give them names, recognize them, but it felt like everything at the same time; anger, sadness, sorrow, hope? He really wasn’t sure. The only thing he could for sure pinpoint down in the darkness of the bedroom was that these were all feelings brought to his mind but just the mere thought of his self-proclaimed arch rival.

And yet he didn’t want to feel any of them.

His body did its best to resist him as Kip tried to roll onto his side, fighting back every inch of the way to the point where it wasn’t even worth it. This wasn’t the first time his mind and body disagreed on the actions he should take, making it painful to even try to move, the pain leaving Kip almost paralyzed just laying on his back on the bed, staring at nothing. The feeling came and went as it pleased, but most often it showed up as an inconvenience when he wanted one thing but was handed another.

It all frustrated him. Angered him. Disappointed him, leaving Kip unable to do anything, left dealing with these feelings in his already loud head all by himself, all alone.

Well…

He could feel the shadows creeping on the edge of his vision, on the edge of his consciousness. It wasn’t anything unusual at this point, but Kip was tired of it. Having to listen to those whispers, calling him names, assigning words to him about how they felt about him. Telling him how fucked up this was, how fucked up he was, how it was his fault. All his fault, how they got here, how he ended up in this situation, how he messed it all up. All his fault.

All his fault.

It had been almost a daily occurrence now. He hadn’t been able to sleep, leaving him vulnerable, open to all of this. The shadows laughed at him, telling him he only needed them, secluding himself was a good thing no matter how much Cassidy tried to keep some sort of a connection with him. Help? Fuck no, he didn’t need help. Kip was much better off without any of that, especially from someone like him.

From someone like Cassidy, who was the cause of all of this. Well, after Kip had managed to fuck it up first, of course. He was the one to ultimately be blamed for everything, after all.

“Pathetic.”

Kip was almost violently ripped out of the serenity of the dark thoughts in his mind, the voice piercing enough to force his eyes open, focusing back on the blank ceiling. He couldn’t see anything else, nothing was moving. The voice, while distant, distorted, almost dark, had a tint of familiarity to it that he didn’t want to acknowledge.

The way it echoed against the inside of his skull made him come face to face with the reality that it was his own, without Kip saying those words out loud, without thinking them to himself.

“You’re disgusting, you know that?”

Kip didn’t reply, but he could feel a new wave of emotions crashing over him. Shame. Guilt. Disgust. The breath he took in was so much shakier than he expected, the loudness of it almost scaring him out of his own skin.

“So disappointing. Get up.”

He wanted to tell it to stop, but Kip just couldn’t. Instead, he felt his body working against his mind, pushing itself up to its limits, sitting up on the bed for the first time in what felt like days. His head was already spinning, the darkness around him hugging him so tightly Kip almost wasn’t sure if this was his bedroom anymore. The soft kisses it left on his skin burned, making him want to scream, both out of pain and the pleasure of feeling something other than nothing, but no sound came out of him. Kip just sat there, trying to find his breath again, eyes looking at the nothing in front of him.

The nothing shaped like himself, smiling back at him, the darkness so wicked in him it was impossible to look away, even if Kip knew he wasn’t real. That it wasn’t real.

“Was this what you wanted?”

Kip wanted to tell him no, it really wasn’t, he never intended it to be like this. He never knew it was going to be like this. If he had even the slightest idea, maybe he wouldn’t have done it. Done anything. He never wanted to even entertain the thought of succumbing to the darkness, to any extent.

Kip never wanted this, and yet there were no words he could say that would make that clear.

“You’re so pitiful. I don’t understand what he sees in you.”

He inhaled sharply, without intending to do so. Kip could almost see the darkness wearing his smirk, laughing at him. Making a mockery out of him, knowing he was way beyond the help. That these thoughts truly were his own, not just something the cursed world was trying to shove into his head anymore.

“He’s given up. You’re a fool for thinking otherwise.”

A fool. Beyond help, so much so that the one person who promised to help him had left him alone. It felt like he hadn’t seen Cassidy in ages. Maybe he was alone in this room, in this house, being left behind with nothing but broken promises, words that ultimately meant nothing. Nothing but lies that he wouldn’t give up. Lies like so many Kip had told to others, only to break them because he felt like it, because they were hazards on his way to everything he eventually lost.

And now here Kip was, abandoned like all his friends by him, lost like everything he had once had.

“All you need to do is give in.”

The voice was like a hot whisper against his ear, making Kip shiver, knowing how wrong all this was. It wasn’t supposed to go like this, it never was.

“Let yourself go. Allow yourself to be done with this.”

The offer was tempting. Kip could feel the expecting eyes on him, forcing him to turn away, as if he was thinking about this. Maybe on some level he was, contemplating if it was worth it. Worth it to keep trying, especially if he was alone. Abandoned. When there was no hope in the horizon. He could be done with all of it, just let the darkness swallow him, allowing him to decay, to rot away, mostly in peace. Maybe even without pain, if he asked kindly enough.

“I…” His voice was hoarse, drifting off into the empty corners of the bedroom, without Kip having no idea how to continue that sentence. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, what he needed. If there was someone, or something, that could give him that. To give him anything. Everything was so fragmented, so cracked, unorganized in his mind that it was impossible to put into words. Of course he only needed actions, to simply allow himself to be taken over, but somehow even that felt more difficult than usual.

Maybe somewhere in there, under all the filth inside of him, was still just the smallest light of hope. How or why, Kip wasn’t sure, but something in him told him that he was able to feel it. Despite everything.

“I-I… I don’t know…”

He felt the darkness pressing tighter against him, forcing the air out of his lungs. Hands on his arms. Hands on his chest. Hands on his neck. Hands on his face.

The scream that escaped him wasn’t audible, being drowned under the voice that boomed in his head loudly enough to make it throb for days to come.

“You don’t know?! Don’t you understand?! You’re nothing! Nothing! Nothing but a pitiful excuse of a weak, pathetic failure! Nobody wants you, nobody needs you! You mean nothing!”

Kip couldn’t reply to it, the headache becoming unbearably too much. He struggled to catch air back into his lungs, every breath burning, making him want to throw up. The spots the hands of the dark had been holding onto him burned, they felt vile, almost violated. He could trace the cold fingertips against his skin perfectly if someone asked, remembering every mark being left on him, the words imprinted into the inside of his brain with every word that had been spoken to him.

He didn’t want this. It was all too much, the feeling pouring out of him in an incomprehensible sob as Kip couldn’t hold the floodgates shut, being too exhausted and in pain to hold it back anymore.

Only as he could feel a soft pair of hands landing on his aching, exposed arm Kip’s head snapped up, eyes barely focusing on the concerned looking face of a familiar blond looking back at him.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

Cassidy’s voice sounded so distant Kip wasn’t even sure if he was sitting in front of him on the bed or not. It felt unrealistic that after everything he would be there. Kip wanted to reach out, so desperately, to make sure he was there, touch him, his face, make sure he felt him breathe. Feel that he had a heartbeat. But he couldn’t move, holding onto the little bit of solace that Cassidy’s hands on his arm gave to him. At least it felt real, even if it would end up not being so.

“I heard you scream. I-it’s okay. I’m here.”

Kip just looked at him, finally feeling the stinging of the tears in his eyes. His senses were slowly returning into the room, him into his own head, making at least a little bit of sense again. Cassidy’s hands on him, squeezing his arm slightly, making sure he was there. The tears staining Kip’s face, the salty taste on his lips actually making sense to him. His hands that he didn’t even realize had been squeezing the bed sheets so hard this entire time.

“I’m trying to help you, Kip.”

Hearing his name leaving Cassidy’s lips cracked something in him. Kip wasn’t entirely sure what it was, but it made him swallow thickly, feeling the lump that had formed in his throat.

“If you can tell me what happened, I--”

“Please.”

Kip’s voice was barely above a whisper, followed by a sob he wasn’t able to hold back. Cassidy looked at him, clearly alarmed, not expecting this from Kip, the tear stained face twisting into some combination of pleading and comforted as Kip finally reached a hand towards him, fingertips barely gracing Cassidy’s cheek in a weak attempt to touch him.

“He… Help me. Please.”

Cassidy’s face softened into an understanding smile, him nodding his head just barely before Kip leaned closer, basically collapsing against him. Cassidy pulled him against his chest, one arm holding him close tightly as the other hand rubbed his back, gently hushing him as Kip broke down in sobs in his arms.

“I will. Don’t worry. I will.”

[just-dreaming-marvel]

The Bond Between Us ~ 68

THE BOND BETWEEN US MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 1,400ish

Summary: You request some answers.

Notes: don’t mind my trash edit of a photo below... I tried.

Previously on The Bond Between Us…

“Told you, I did,” Yoda sighed. “Reckless is he. Now, matters are worse.”

“That boy is our last hope,” Obi-Wan replied.

“No, there is another. That you know.”

“Leia is not—“

“Talking about Leia, I was not. Know that, you do.”

“She is not who she once was.”

“Questions, I sense you have for me, Obi-Wan.”

“They are not my questions to ask.”

“No, they’re not,” you said, coming into the clearing. You had been hiding in the trees since Luke had started packing up, the light having led you to them. Your eyes were glued on Obi-Wan's blue, ghostly figure. “They are my questions and I deserve the truth.” 

~~~

“Little star,” Obi-Wan whispered, taking you in. 

Obi-Wan had watched you from afar over the three years since his death. You were still the most beautiful being in the galaxy to him, his little star. He wanted to reach out to you, to talk to you, to comfort you, but the Force would never allow it. No matter how hard he tried. 

As his eyes scanned over you, they paused at the rings that hung from a chain around your neck. He remembered watching you slip the ring from your finger a few months ago. You had been crying out for him, begging for him to comfort you. Obi-Wan had tried so hard to get to you, but the Force wasn’t letting him. Large tears were falling from your face as you took the ring from your finger and placed it on the chain next to his. It caused more pain to Obi-Wan than he cared to admit.

“Obi-Wan,” your tone was cool and calm, pulling him back to the present. 

You wanted to launch yourself at your dead husband, but you knew that you would just go right through him. You had begged and pleaded with the Force to show you Obi-Wan and now here he was, standing beside Master Yoda. He looked like he did when he was struck down by Vader; tired, with longer hair, and a beard with his normal Jedi robes. He was still as handsome as ever.

Obi-Wan flinched at your tone. He knew that this was hard for you. He could feel the hatred and anger within you, which caused him so much sorrow. He remembered the time when your light filled the whole Jedi Temple. How Obi-Wan wished he could bring some part of that back for you.

“My former Padawan,” Yoda greeted, “been a long time, it has.”

“Yes, Master Yoda, it has,” you agreed, stepping closer to the two.

“Time has caused you great pain, I sense.”

“Time… or you? And the Force? And this stupid prophecy that I’ve been haunted by since I joined the Order?”

“Little star—“

You held up your hand in Obi-Wan’s direction, cutting him off while still focused on Yoda. “I’m not done. How could you?” Tears collected in your eyes, but you would not let them fall. “How could you betray my trust like that? Mutilate my body without my knowledge or consent?”

“Following the Force, we were.”

“That doesn’t make it right.” You were growing angrier and not bothering to hide it.

“Calm your mind, my former Padawan. Letting your emotions control you, you are.”

“I have every right to let my emotions control me. I have had very little control over my own life. I get to feel this way.”

“Control over your life, you have had. Made decisions throughout your years, you did. Your relationship with Obi-Wan being one of them. Your reactions are proof of why relations are forbidden by the Code.”

“Master Yoda,” Obi-Wan finally interrupted, “I don’t think Y/N or myself will take the will of the Force as an answer to why the Council approved the surgery to not allow Y/N to have children.”

“Mhmm,” Yoda hummed in a displeasing manner. “Important, the answer is not. Get Y/N back to the light fully, we must.”

“That will not happen without an answer.”

You appreciated how Obi-Wan was standing up for you, but it was almost too late. Yoda sighed before turning and heading into his hut.

“Coward!” You called after Yoda. You went to go after him but Obi-Wan appeared in front of you causing you to come to a sudden halt.

“Let him go and allow yourself some time to calm down,” Obi-Wan advised.

“Calm down?” You scoffed. “Do you even know what I’ve been through? How hard it’s been without you?”

Obi-Wan sighed, bringing his hand up to brush his fingers against your cheek, but they never made contact. You turned your head away, hating that you couldn’t actually feel him.

“I do… I’ve watched you as close as the Force let me,” Obi-Wan quietly told you.

“I cried for you… Begged for anything from you… I always came up empty… but Luke saw and heard you, multiple times.”

“I am so sorry, little star. I tried—”

“You left me…” Tears fell down your cheeks. “We were supposed to grow old together… and you left me.”

“I didn’t want to, darling. I really didn’t want to leave you, ever. You are my little star, the center of my galaxy, always.”

“But you did leave me, Obi-Wan. And now look at where we are.”

You walked away, heading for Yoda’s hut. You crouched down and entered it. Yoda was facing away from you, poking at the fire with his cane. You sat down behind him, waiting for him to speak up.

“Mistakes, I and the Council made,” Yoda said roughly. “Anakin and yourself were at the center of most of them… Change them now, we cannot. But do our best to right them, we can.”

“You knew of the bond Obi-Wan and I shared,” you said. “Even if you fully didn’t realize the reality of it all… Is that the reason why you made it impossible for me to have children?”

Yoda sighed. “Much of what you said is true.” He turned, walked over to his bed, and sat on the edge of it. “While you were in surgery, both Master Windu and I felt something shift in the Force. Medical droids came to us while you were out. The call, we had to make, to try and save those parts of you or not. Trusted the Force we did in that decision.”

“I should have been allowed to make that decision.”

“Know that, I do. Change that now, we cannot.”

You knew that that was going to be the closest thing to an apology that you would get from Yoda. It wasn’t going to fix what happened, but it was a start.

“Strayed from the light, you have,” Yoda continued. “Not as much as Vader.”

“I hate it,” you admitted with a sigh. “I hate that I’ve let that darkness grow and fester inside of me. But how could I not? I barely trust the Force anymore. Its guidance throughout my life has not been the best… look at where I’m at now.”

“Fix that, we will. The light inside of you is still there and strong.”

“Vader can sense my darkness and has tried to pull me over to his side. Tried to tell me that we can destroy the Emperor together.”

“Thought about it, have you?”

“I’ve thought about reuniting with my brother and destroying the Emperor, but Vader is not my brother and dark destroying dark will only create more darkness.”

“Wise, your thoughts are. Wise, you have always been.”

“Do you still believe me to be the Chosen One? Even after everything?”

“That, I do.”

Obi-Wan was outside the hut, listening to the conversation. His heart dropped and he shook his head as he listen to Yoda tell you that he still believed you to be the Chosen One. Despite the years and the trials that you had been put through, Obi-Wan feared that you were going to easily fall back into old habits—the Council’s Chosen One. Though dead, Obi-Wan would not let that happen. He would help Yoda guide you back toward the path of light, but he would not allow you to be the Chosen One anymore. Luke could fill in the spot of the Chosen One just fine with the proper training and Obi-Wan would do what he could to make that happen.

next chapter >

TAGLIST IS CLOSED - Taglist Information

[sunflowersoldat]

All is Fair~ In History & Heartbreak

Chapter 14: In History & Heartbreak

Previous Chapter

Main Master List

Series Master List

Series Summary: Family is important, but so is the Family business. Everyone has secrets, some are deadly. Your the best in the business, but no one knows who you are. Tensions are high, will you raise the stakes or fold under pressure?

Series Warnings: 18+! Mentions of blood and violence, bad language words, smut, manipulation, gaslighting, death, trauma, please follow the warnings for each chapter.

Chapter warnings: 18+ Only! violence and threats. Emotional trauma, Bad language words, mentions of death and physical trauma, Stalking.

Pairing: Mob!Steve x Assassin!Stark!reader

Word count: approx. 5.3K

A/N: This chapter is a long one. THIS IS NOT the end! The next chapter is in the works I promise. Don't come for me....

Two weeks ago—

The rest of the ride was silent after Steve climbed back into the driver’s seat, his expression hard to read, eyes trained on the road, jaw clenched. Normally you could read him like a book, but not now, it's like he slipped into a cocoon, everything sealed up tight.

You didn't want to speak, terrified of what it would cause, your lips still swollen from the endless beatings, so many things left unsaid, you could feel the bruise around your neck forming. If you made it out of here alive you would give Bucky a proper ass kicking; rat bastard.

The vehicle slowed in front of a huge iron gate framed by intricately laid brick, a big metal ‘S’ sitting above it all, a looming beacon for what lay behind it.

Home.

Your eyes traveled back to Steve sitting calmly next to you, waiting.

“S… Steve.” your throat strained from the use, pain radiating as you tried to say his name, it felt like you were being forced to swallow tiny shards of glass. Your eyes are still heavy from exhaustion, bleary and hard to focus. He turned to you, that mask slipping from his eyes as he took in your appearance, the sorrow there only pissed you off; you did this, you don’t get to feel pity or sorrow.

That anger must have reflected in your eyes, because the moment the thought entered your mind, his mask was back, eyes cold as the arctic. He swallowed, reaching for you, flinching, you waited for the blow, but it never came; just the soft brush of his fingers nimbly removing your restraints. The pressure around your wrists fading away, a wave of relief flowing through your body.

Then his hand was on your cheek, you froze eyes wide, not sure what to expect from him anymore. You felt a tear slip from your eye, and his thumb brushed it away softly, his eyes never leaving yours. Finally he sighed, dropping his hand and breaking eye contact.

“Why am I alive?” your words hung in the air, a bomb set near a roaring flame, just waiting for that stray ember.

“Because death is what you wish for…”

The air left your lungs, ouch, he wasn’t wrong, but it wasn’t the answer you had expected—

“And… I can’t kill you—”

You scoffed, wincing in pain, “What’s the difference between me and anyone else, you kill without–”

“I don’t love everyone else.” his voice rumbled the air in the car, shaking you to your core.

There was a bone chilling silence in the air, as you tried to grapple with what he was telling you, he was no better than you, you couldn’t pull the trigger in the warehouse, and he couldn’t do it mere hours ago. Where did this put the two of you…

“The others?”

“For all intents and purposes they believe you are dead…”

You opened your mouth to respond but he continued, “And if we cross paths again, you will be. Do not mistake this for cowardice, this is mercy, nothing more. Is that in any way unclear.” there was a cold edge to his voice, one you didn’t recognize, something he reserved only for his enemies.

You shook your head as his gaze snapped to the gate, opening slowly and a figure running towards you in the cold. He opened his door and came to your side, picking you up, one arm under your knees the other supporting your back.

You leaned into his support, your head resting on his strong chest, the strong steady beat reminding you, this was real, not a nightmare. Trembling, your words slipping out into the icy air, “I’m no Angel after all…”

“No, sweetheart, you are… Just an Angel of Death.” his whisper almost lost in the wind. —

You shook your head at the memory. It felt good to be out in the icy winter air. Wade's text came in not long after you left, the address is one you had recognized, but instead of meeting tonight he had scheduled the meeting for a few nights from now; he must be on assignment.

Either way, you were able to head to your home, you were careful to do so, only taking backways and sticking to the shadows. You knew Steve himself wasn't looking for you, no one should be, his men all believed you were dead. You only needed to worry about someone looking for leverage against him; not everyone believed rumors of breakups, especially someone who was willing to hire the Ace of Spades, you still had a target painted on your back.

The house was dark and cold, it had been a while since you had been home, there was a layer of dust on everything. You would clean it later when you weren’t exhausted. For now you wanted to do nothing more than eat ice cream and sit on your couch alone.

—

He followed you home, knew the route you would take, took his time, letting you disappear from sight, giving you that false sense of security. He wouldn’t touch you, not tonight, he was going to enjoy watching you squirm later.

—

Tony arrived home late that night, Pepper was still awake, reading her book in the lounge, her left hand resting on her belly; their wedding ring glinting in the light. He was tired, no not tired, thoroughly burnt out, but seeing his beautiful wife, the mother of his unborn child, made the weight on his shoulders feel a little lighter. As he approached her, she discarded her book on the coffee table, meeting his gaze. She had always been his confidant, someone he could talk to, even before they became a couple, she understood him on a deeper level. 

Tony slipped onto the couch next to her, resting his head against her shoulder, lazily tracing patterns on her stomach. 

Pepper knew the silence that filled the room, something had happened, and she now wondered if letting you go had been a good thing or not. She carded her hand through his hair, giving him the comforting touch and silence he needed, 

“Talk to me?” she whispered.

Moving he situated himself so he could meet her gaze, sighing he responded,

“The meeting was a shitshow. Rogers is like a rabid dog, ready to feast on anyone standing in his way. Akerly is dead, all because of those damn experiments, now Rogers knows about the deal with the military.”

Pepper remained silent, listening, he knew she disagreed with the treatments, they were dangerous, if a chemical treatment not perfected can affect Rogers and Barnes this way, what can a perfected one do to others.

“Can you imagine what he would do to my sister if she left? He threatened me, told me to watch my back. He spoke of her like she was some kind of killer, like she was capable of killing him.”

Tony shuddered, but Pepper cocked her head at his statement, a question nagging her, “Did either Steve or your sister explain what happened?”

Tony scowled, “What? No, I never asked. And you saw what he did to her; he almost killed her. What could she have done to deserve that?”

Pepper chewed her lip, the more Tony spoke, the more worried she became, maybe you were in more danger than she thought…

Tony rose from his seat, giving Pepper a peck on the cheek, “Speaking of the Squirt, I’m going to go check on her–”

“Tony.”

He stopped, turning to her, her tone full of concern. When his eyes met hers, he knew something was wrong, “Pepper…”

The silent conversation between them thickened the air, his shoulders sagged, “You didn’t… you didn’t let her leave. Please tell me she didn’t leave.”  

Tears filled his wife’s eyes, he shouldn’t take it out on her, he knew that. She was just doing what she thought was best for you–

“Tony, I’m so sorry–” a sob broke from her, “I just… She seemed so sure. Her mind was set, no matter what I said or did–”

He placed his hand on her cheek, shushing her softly, “It's okay Pep, better you let her go than to let her sneak out and we find out too late.” He kissed her cheek, “It's alright, I’ll call her, maybe I can get her to come back.”

She shook her head, “Tony, you know she won’t, you cannot force her. You will only push her farther away.” 

Tony nodded, but called you anyway, he had to make sure you were still alive, not rotting in a basement somewhere.

He dialed your number, he knew it was late, but he still hoped you would pick up the phone. Placing it on speaker he paced the lounge, the line rang only a handful of times before your voice came over the speaker. 

‘Hello?’ 

He kicked himself, he had woken you up, your voice still gravelly from sleep, but he sighed in relief, at least you were alive. “Jesus kid, you can’t just leave like that. You gave me a heart attack.”

On the other end he heard you sigh, ‘Stank, it is 3am,’ you groaned, ‘this couldn’t wait?’

He felt a little bad for calling so late, but he couldn’t take the chance, “Sorry kid, I had to make sure you were alive… I have some information for you though.” he stopped pacing, resting his arms on the back of the couch behind Pepper, “I met with Rogers earlier today, it seems he got a hold of Akerly, poor bastard is dead. Whatever you did to him has him riled up, he's out for blood.”

You sighed again, ‘Shit Tony, I’m sorry he seemed like a good kid.’

He let a silence fill the air, he wasn't sure how to ask you what happened, he wasn’t even sure you would tell him.

Tony cleared his throat, here goes nothing, “Squirt?…”

You yawned, ‘Yeah?’

“What did you do to him? 

There was a long moment of thick silence, he swore he could cut the tension with a knife, when you finally answered, he didn’t know how to react,

‘I tried to kill him.’‘I tried to kill him.’

Your words rang through the air, Pepper’s face paled as she stared between Tony and the phone.

He couldn’t believe it, his baby sister, so sweet, yes she had a mouth on her and a no bullshit attitude, but murder. What had he done to her? He shouldn’t have told her about their parents, it was wrong of him. This was all his fault, he needed to atone for what he had started with Steve, he would set up another meeting, and properly confront the man, take responsibility for all of it. 

��

Wade had showed up to the meeting point early, he wanted to make sure he was here whenever you arrived, you were normally early. He was sitting on the ledge of the bridge kicking his feet out over the water, when his phone began to ring, an unknown number flashing across his screen, shrugging he answered it, maybe you got another new phone?

“Wilson and Wilson–”

‘Wilson, it's Barnes. I’ve got a job for ya. This one’s a real treat.’

Wade internally groaned, why did they always have the good jobs when he couldn't attend, “Ugh, I’d love to help Barnesy, but I’ve got an important meeting to attend, how about a raincheck?”

Barnes sighed on the other end, ‘Well if you wanna join when your meeting is over you're more than welcome to.’

Wade pumped his arm, a tourture session with Barnes was always exciting, “Alright, I’ll be there!” he hung up the phone excitedly, not only was he going to see you and plan revenge on Francis, but he was also getting a tourture session. Was it his birthday?

“Fuck.” he groaned, he forgot to get the address from Barnes, he shrugged, oh well, he would get it after meeting with you, he would probably be holed up at one of his usual haunts. There was no rush, he had the whole night ahead.

—

You were supposed to meet Wade tonight, but first you need more information on the families and their innerworkings than anyone else was willing to give you. You knew a place where you could get it, Subatomic, it was a shady warehouse turned run-down rave club, the owner Hope owed you a debt, and you had every intention of cashing it in. 

Your boss was keeping you in the dark, your brother was no better, and well asking Steve wasn’t really an option anymore, so you didn’t have much of a choice; you were going to find out who hired you.

Throwing on a cropped tank top, and a pair of ripped jeans, you allowed your hair to tumble free, you were glad you kept a backup mask and a pair of contacts in your basement, otherwise you would have been going out looking like your normal self, and that wouldn’t go over well with Tony, or Steve for that matter, you guaranteed he had men around Subatomic using any information they could gather to his advantage. You knew he was as lost as you were, but you weren’t sure if you would say he was angrier. He had more of a public presence, so people were afraid of him, they could recognize him, you on the other hand as an Ace, you were a ghost, the boogeyman coming for your prey. 

Never seen until it's too late; you can’t bargain with a reaper.

Under the cover of night, you slipped in the back door, leaving your bike in the back alley. The blacklights illuminating everything in neon colors, most of the club was a dancefloor, with a sliver of a bar on the side wall closest to the door, on the upper deck, where more of the regulars and high rollers stayed, there was one more smaller, more private bar; you would find Hope there.

In normal clubs, you would stick out like a sore thumb, but beneath the blacklights and strobe lights, most were dressed in rave apparel, although they were not armed to the teeth, a few turned their heads as you passed, including one or two security guards, who averted their gaze as you stared them down; cowards.

You made your way upstairs, the music still a little too loud for your liking, but if you were sharing sensitive information, it was a welcomed coverup. Unlike the normal nights, the floor upstairs was packed with undulating forms, neon paint splattered their bodies, glow sticks waving in the air, you avoided it the best you could, but you would need new clothes with the way things were going. When you made it to the bar, you pulled your Spade card from your belt, tapping the counter with it, a rather attractive male bartender approached you first, his light brown hair tousled, a white button down shirt glowing purple hugged his muscular torso, the sleeves rolled above his elbows. A smirk played on his lips as he approached you, green eyes alight, but was cut off by Hope. 

“I got ‘er big guy, you keep the drinks flowing for that group over there.'' She pointed to the opposite end of the bar, where a group of girls were screaming and taking shots, one in the center wore a white sash covered in bright paint, you could barely make out the words ‘Wifey for lifey’  on it in gold foil. You gave him a mock pout as he glanced back towards the two of you.

You queried a brow, nodding towards him, “New eye candy?”

She only shook her head, ignoring the insinuation, “Long time no see, Grim.” she said with a saccharine smile, “word on the street is ‘ol Beastie killed ya.”

You rolled your eyes at the nickname, Hope was the only one you allowed to get away with it, but you called her on her shit anyway, “You know I hate that stupid nickname…”

“Yeah?” her smile widened, “What about Spadey? No?” she tapped her chin thoughtfully, as you glared at her, “Darkness? Killer? Hmm… Oh!” she snapped, your eyes narrowed, “How about Skelly?”

“Don’t make me kill you Hope.”

She laughed, reaching for a glass, sliding it in front of you, “What’ll you have Grim?”

Chuckling you slid her the wad of cash from your pocket, “I need to know who hired me.”

Scowling she reached for the vodka, pouring the drink, “Thought Aces worked on a no questions asked basis?”

You glowered at her, “We do… normally. We also don’t go after the family heads, it looks like the boss is a little spooked, and I just wanna know who spooked him.”

Nodding slowly she added soda water to the drink, slowly circling the rim with her finger, “What if I don’t–”

A hard hand landed on your ass, “Whasss a fiiinneee lookin lady like you hiding ‘er pretty face for?”

You watched Hope’s eyes widen, she slowly took a step back from the bar, you huffed a laugh, turning towards the man stupid enough to smack your ass, nothing but a weasel of a man, scrawny and shitfaced drunk. Smiling to yourself, you grabbed him by his collar, throwing him onto the bar, sending several drinks flying, the glass shattering beneath his weight. You removed your knife from its holster, holding up his hand for the entire bar to see. Slowly you sliced open his palm, “This is your first and only warning, I ever catch you touching anyone without their explicit consent. I will take each finger, cutting away each knuckle, slowly, until you writhe in pain and beg for mercy.” you growl, his eyes widened, huge crocodile tears tumbling down his cheeks, as he blubbered an apology,  “Do I make myself clear?”

He nodded his head frantically, as you hauled him up by his collar, Hope tossed you a towel, which you promptly wrapped his hand in, “Good, now get outta here that’s gonna need stitches.”

The man scrambled away, flying down the stairs and out the front door, with his tail between his legs. You leaned back onto the counter, ignoring the spilt vodka and glass, “Whaddya say Hope, think you could do me a solid?”

Pursing her lips, her eyes traveled the room, pausing for a moment, before meeting yours, “I can’t guarantee anything, but I’ll look into it.” you offered her your card. 

Plucking it from your fingers she nodded behind you, “Seems you drew a little unwanted attention there Grim.”

Turning slightly you followed her gaze, your eyes searching the ocean of people, landing on a hulking blonde, making his way in your direction, fuck. That was just your damn luck, behind him, you noticed a brunette, her plump lips painted an obnoxious shade of red. Quickly you slipped back into the crowd.

—

Steve hated clubs, but Carter had insisted on meeting here. The music grated on his nerves, the lights and glow sticks gave him a pounding headache, and the drunk people; don’t even get him started.  For the sixth time tonight, a scantily dressed, what he suspected was a minor, ran her fingers along his shoulders and arm, trying in vain to pull him onto the dancefloor, only to be shooed away by Carter. 

She sat with a huff, her warm brown hair fell around her in loose waves, her dress was too revealing for their type of meeting, but he ignored it, all he wanted was the info she had on The Aces. Supposedly she had some real leads on who The Dealer was and how to figure out who hired the Ace of Spades that tried to kill him. 

“Sorry Steve, it was a late night at the office.”

A bartender walked by, he wore only a black leather vest and ripped pants, Peggy ordered ‘an apple martini shaken, not stirred’ with a wink in Steve’s direction “A bourbon, double, neat.” the man hurried away, leaving Steve to raise his brows at Peggy.

“You wear that to the office Captain Carter?”

She scowled, “Keep it down will ya, not everyone needs to know who I am.”

The bartender came back, setting the glasses down, Steve pulled some cash from his pocket, waving the man away. Picking up his glass he shrugged, “Your outfit says otherwise.”

Her face turned a deep shade of red, in the past Steve might have entertained the thought of taking Carter to his bed, or sleeping in hers, but the desire didn’t appeal to him anymore. And he really didn’t want to be here, he preferred to be at the penthouse, buried in work or down in the basement getting answers the best way he knew how. He took another sip from his glass, “You said you have information for me?”

Taking a sip she nodded, pulling out a cigarette from her clutch she lit it, taking a long drag, before responding, “Yes. But it wasn’t easy to come by, I’m putting my life on the line here, whoever wants you dead–”

Rolling his eyes, Steve reached into his pocket, a band of hundred dollar bills in his hand, reaching across the table he handed it to her. But instead of taking the bills, Carter slid her hand over his and up his forearm, fluttering her lashes, “Come now Steve, I’m sure we can come to a different arrangement–”

Commotion at the bar ripped his attention away, a woman threw a man onto the bar, her arms and body littered in scars and old bruises, but what caught his eye was the black mask that covered her face, the white skeleton jaw glowing purple in the blacklight. 

Shoving away from the table, he made his way through the crowd toward her. You? No. Tony promised, his men were waiting outside, if it was you and they saw you, it would be chaos. In seconds, she lifted the man off the bar and sent him on his way, a towel wrapped around his hand. 

Next to Steve a drunken bachelorette party shoved him, causing him to lose his balance, and lose sight of the girl in the skeleton mask. But she was gone when he was able to regain his footing, cursing as he approached the bar, the bartender she had been talking to was gone as well.

Sighing, he turned to head back to Peggy, but caught a glimpse of the skeleton mask in the middle of a group of girls near the railing, storming over, he ripped the mask from her face, the girl screeched, shrinking away from him. His shoulders sagged, growling, not you. 

Looking out over the sea of people below him, movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention, and he watched as she pushed through the crowd towards the back door, it had to be you, he would recognize you anywhere. Surging after her, he shoved his way through the crowd, ignoring the protests of the people around him, his heart thundered in his chest. As he burst through the back door, into the alley, he found it empty, not a trace of anyone left behind. 

He didn’t bother going back to Peggy, he texted to let her know they could meet at a different time, there was business he needed to take care of first…

—

He watched that red Kawasaki speed out of the alley, Steve’s security didn’t even bat an eye in its direction. He rolled his eyes, not so fast little Ace.

—

You couldn’t believe you almost got caught, fuck that was sloppy, but if anyone could get the information you needed, it would be Hope. 

You were racing toward your rendezvous with Wade, if you were late, he would kick your ass. You cursed as your fuel light came on, you had to stop for gas, or you would be walking to the meeting point, to be safe, you shot him a text, you didn’t want him to freak out and come searching for you. 

—

He couldn’t believe his luck when you pulled into the gas station. Slowly he exited the vehicle, careful not to alert you so he could take you by surprise, the towel with chloroform at the ready. He knew what you were capable of, he wasn’t taking any chances, swiftly he wrapped his arms around you, the towel covering both your mouth and nose. You fought momentarily, before slumping against him. This time, you weren’t making it out of this alive.

—

Your head was pounding when you came to, the distinct smell of salt and sea filling your nose, your eyes peeled open, taking in your surroundings, an abandoned warehouse, you stifled a laugh, how cliché.

 “You know, you won't make it out alive this time.”

Your head snapped to the man sitting in the chair across from you, you choked on the irony of the situation, “Boinky?!” tossing your head back, you let loose a laugh, “Haven’t we already been through this?”

He nodded as he rose, prowling around you, as he rounded you , his fist collided with your cheek, your head snapping to the side, licking your teeth, you spat the blood from your mouth, “I’ve told you once, I’ll tell you again; you hit like a bitch.”

He got close to your face, his hand gripping your hair so you couldn’t headbutt him, “You know, I used to enjoy your smart mouth, now I just tire of hearing you breathe.” 

Allowing the blood to pool in your mouth, you began to spit at him, but his hand covered your mouth, his thumb and index finger holding your nose shut, you whined, the loss of air causing you to panic, “You aren’t the only trained killer here Ace… Now, swallow.” 

You bucked under his hold, trying to free yourself, but it was no use, his voice thundering through the building, “I said swallow.”

If looks could kill, he would have been splattered at your feet, but you conceded, swallowing the blood in your mouth. Sighing he released you, picking up your mask from his chair,  you gasped for breath. “Now Ace, there are no hard feelings, really, we just can’t allow you to live. I was going to have my best torturer come have some fun with you, but he had a prior engagement. I told him I’d wait, but fuck it, I’ll have some fun.” 

Clenching your teeth, you glared at him, “I should have killed you when I had the chance, let that damn bullet hit you instead of me.”

He gave you a mocking look, one brow raised, a lopsided grin screwing up his lips, “You know, you really should have. But every action has consequences, doll, allow me to show you yours.”

Your mask fell from his grip, clattering on the floor, crushing it with his boot, a wicked smile slowly split his lips, “Death has come for you Ace.”

—

Your text had come in over an hour ago, you should have been here already, panic began to weave its way into Wade’s stomach, Jake was pacing next to him, 

“Where the fuck is she Wilson?!”

Wade shook his head, “I’m not sure, I’ll call her.” He dialed you, but the line rang, and rang, and rang, and rang. Finally going to voicemail, he growled, gripping the railing he shook himself. “She won’t fucking aswer!”

“That’s not like her Wade, you and I both know that. Where the fuck would she have gone?”

Wade shrugged his shoulders, “Fuck if I know!”

“Think Wade! Has anything else happened today? I mean no one else knew she was alive right? Did she say she was going anywhere before–”

Wade’s eyes widened, he groaned, “Oh fuck.”

Jake surged forward, “What Wade, for fucks sake!”

“I-I might know what happened? I… it was right before she text me to tell me she was on her way and—”

“Spit it out Wilson or so help me god I will choke you!”

“Barnes! Barnes called me and offered me a job,”

Jake growled, “Why did Barnes offer you a job–”

Jake's eyes widened, if Barnes found out you were alive, he would need Wade to make you talk. Fuck. Jake gripped Wades collar, “Where the fuck did he take her?!”

Shaking his head, Wade wracked his brain, “There are three places he could go, we can split up for the first two and if they aren't there we can meet at the third palace!”

Jake was already running for his vehicle, “Addresses now!”

—

This felt like an extreme case of deja vu, you strapped to a chair, Barnes looming above you, beating you to a pulp, but this time you had no hope you would make it out alive. There was no one else here to help you, it was just the two of you.

You could barely focus on Barnes anymore, the broken ribs and healed wounds ripped open and shattered again. You took a ragged breath, “You might as well finish me Barnes.” he glanced up from his chair, his hair ruffled and wild, knuckles busted open on one hand, the other, his metal one, just caked in dried blood. “Because I will never stop hunting him.” you needed to push him, threatening his own life would get you nowhere, but threatening Steve’s, that was his weakness.

His eyes met yours, the normal steel blue swirling in a darkness, you recognized, it was the same one you had when you killed all those Hydra goons six years ago. “If I get outta here,” your words slurred, you were losing blood again, and your consciousness along with it, “I will find a way to make you watch as he begs me to take his life–”

“Shut the fuck up!” he hauled you to your feet, the chains rattling beneath you, as he dragged out toward the harbor, a single ship bobbed on its glassy surface. You shoved at him, your moves sluggish from the weight of the chains dragging behind you. 

You don’t know how you hadn’t noticed it before, but attached to the end of the chain was a giant cinder block. You screamed, trashing in his grip, no, you would not die like this. A bullet, a knife, broken bones, even blood loss you would take. You would burn in hell before you allowed yourself to drown.

You couldn’t make the pleas leave your lips, you wanted to beg him, to bargain, to apologize, anything that could change his mind. 

“Goodbye Ace.” he seethed as he set you down, kicking the cinderblock into the inky water, allowing it to pull you under.

Your heart leaped in your chest, you tried your damndest to claw onto something, your nails scraping the wooden docks, fingertips bleeding as they were ripped open, finally, your fingers wrapped around the edge of a plank.

Smirking, Barnes turned away, leaving you to slowly be pulled to your death, he knew you couldn’t hold on for long. Tears spilled down your cheeks, how many times had you stared death in the face and told him to fuck himself? When was the last time you had felt true fear?

Your arms were growing weaker by the second, your fingers slick from the bleeding wounds. 

Your grip finally slipped from the dock, sending you careening into the icy water, with your blood loss and the weight of the concrete, it didn’t take long for you to black out. As your eyes closed, you swear you could see a dark silhouette and pale hand reaching for you; a savior? Or perhaps the gods had finally shown you mercy and sent their reaper.

—

Jake and Wade skidded to a halt in the empty warehouse, there was no sign of you or Barnes anywhere, except for a single chair sat near the entrance to the docks, dried blood caked on the floor. As they walked closer, guns ready, they noticed the remnants of your mask, scrapes along the concrete, then bloody claw marks across the wood leading to the harbor. Shaking his head, Wade turned to Jake, as he picked up a piece of your mask, his jaw clenched, body stiff as his gaze shifted to what was now your watery grave.

They were too late.

@dontbescaredtosingalong @texan-tazzy @tianamontag @daiseychaindisaster @silently-killing-you @buckyfan12 @leyannrae @justlovelifeblog @austynparksandpizza @captainson-of-coul @betareader7 @vicmc624 @bigphattygyal

[bluebunnyears-08]

No Matter How Sweet and Nice

A fight with Eggman leaves Sonic and the others thinking Tails is dead. However, that's not exactly the case as they find out 6 months later when Tails is still alive...but working for Eggman. And worse, he didn't know who they were, believing them to be intruders, leading to a fight between robots and animals, which leads to Tails being knocked out and kidnapped, taken to what was once his home. It started with just constant eyes on him and constant coddling by strangers telling him they're his "friends". When he tried to leave and became much more violent in hurting them to free himself, he found himself in even more watchful eyes and needles that force him to sleep when he becomes too harmful, becoming a prisoner to them in his eyes no matter how much they try to deny it.

(basically an angsty Tails fanfiction because I can't get enough of these)

____________________________________________________

He hated it here.

There was nothing more horrible than a place like this, Tails was sure. They keep constantly following him, watching him, making sure he wasn't trying to leave. They said it was to make sure they knew where everyone was in case of emergencies, or because he "looked lonely and needed a pal", or because of another lie they thought of on the spot; he knew better though. It was annoying, and frustrating because he was aching to leave. But every time he was caught and the escapes he recently did was now blocked off. Trying to leave through the vents, doors, and windows, they make sure someone was with them at all times, a constant guard to make sure that he stays within the walls or to notify them if their prisoner escaped. Tricking them into leaving him alone caused everyone to now not let him be alone no matter what he did or said. 

Yes, He was referring to himself as a prisoner. Because that's exactly what he was here. Being constantly monitored, never allowed to move out of the area, and not being allowed to go back home. His true home. Not this fake one they insisted was. If it was he wouldn't have had to be brought here, he wouldn't feel like this in the first place, and they certainly wouldn't mind if he was left alone for five goddamn minutes! No this was a prison, not a home. It might be their home, but not his, never his.

He wanted to go back home. Sure, it wasn't stable, at all, but at least there he wasn't constantly coddled and watched over like a baby. At least there he was respected and left alone to do his own thing. Here he found none of that. Here, he was constantly monitored and made sure not to go out of line, his accusations were ignored and denied; being told the complete opposite of what he knew. They showed him pictures, that could be photoshopped (it was easy to do), told him stories (lies), and tried to get him to remember the things he "used" to do. It never worked, mainly because to him it never happened. He never understood the emotions that formed on their faces, ones of sorrow and anger, or the utter heartbreak in their eyes.

He knew about some of them, and those were the ones who monitored him the most. There was a pink hedgehog named Amy, very kind and understanding, however, she coddled him the most, and acted as if he didn't know some things. It didn't come off that way at first, but over time he began to realize she thought that way when she constantly assured him simple things; snow, food, and other things he KNEW were harmless weren't going to hurt him. It came off as a tiny bit reassuring, but now it was just annoying. He didn't like that, while he wasn't rude or cruel to her, they weren't friends as she insisted.

There was another one, Knuckles, a red echidna, the "last one of his kind". He could see it being true, he hadn't ever seen any other echidna anywhere. With the lies he's been told, he doesn't know what to believe about them. He felt intimidated by the echidna, the rough and aloof behavior towards him not exactly helping measures. Knuckles always seemed angry around him. It was never at him, but something must've happened for Tails to change his attitude when the fox would enter the room. Going from being in a conversation to suddenly go quiet, the fox could always feel his intent stare on his back until he left. It was odd and creepy in the fox's opinion, so he tried to keep his eyes on the echidna at all times in case he tried something.

Then there was the one who visited and monitored him the most. A blue hedgehog; Sonic. Tails never understood him. The hedgehog was very friendly and always wanted to spend time with him. Tails didn't understand why. However, the hedgehog's ability to break the sound barrier was something the fox found fascinating. It was impossible, but the speedster managed to do it somehow. His fascination with the blue mammal's power did not deter him from eyeing the hedgehog with caution, no matter how friendly and caring he was towards him. He never understood why the urchin was so caring towards him. Why he cared when Tails stayed up later than the others, or when Tails didn't eat or drink water, or when the fox didn't bathe himself, and so much more than the fox, who didn't think those things were important. The kitsune found it weird, and as a result, he maintained an aloof and distant attitude toward what was stated to be his "former big brother".

It was Sonic who brought him here, in this godawful place that it is, as stated by the others to refuse to leave without him. The hedgehog was also the most against letting the fox go back to Robotnick. Tails never truly understood why, but he gave up trying to understand, now all he was, was frustrated at the rodent.

The fox was currently walking alongside the hedgehog around the village, amongst the scenery he found himself fond of. The only good thing in this awful place. It was a beautiful forest, trees scattered with emerald green leaves, birds singing their songs within, below critters scampered across the dirt ground, hiding or running through the many bushes. It was peaceful and calm. A perfect place to relax and listen to your thoughts. Unfortunately, he couldn't exactly relax with a prattling hedgehog beside him, constantly asking him things he didn't care about. The two-tailed canine only responded with short answers and nods. He didn't bother to try and leave, nothing the hedgehog would catch him in a heartbeat. Literally.

The only way he spoke to them, was not to share any information with them that they could use against him or the doctor but to respond with a simple yes and no what whatever stupid question they have.

He soon found himself trailing into thoughts of the doctor. What was he doing now? He probably already found out the fox was missing, but probably never figured out that he was kidnapped. Maybe he thought the fox ran away, or worse maybe thought the fox was betraying him. The fox found a multitude of thoughts that begins to fill his brain.

What would he do if he thought of the latter?    Would he hunt him down?                       

What if he found him?                  What would he do?

 Would he listen if the fox tried to explain that these crazy people kidnapped him?                                 

What if he didn't believe him?

What if the doctor disowned him?                         

Where would he go?                           

If he was kicked out what if these psychos find him again?

And if he escaped again what would he do next without anywhere to go?       

What if he never got out of here?     Why won't they let him leave?

  What about his inventions?       Would he be able to keep them?             

Would the Doctor destroy them?     

 What would he do if he does?

    Or what if the doctor kept them?     

 Would he take the credit for them?       

 What would Tails do if Robotnick used them on him?     

What if he died, then all of this would-

"Tails? Are you alright?"

The young canine was snapped out of his anxious trance by a soft call of his name and a gloved hand on his shoulder. The fox snapped out of his thoughts and met the worrying green eyes of his monitor. He noticed he was breathing rapidly, frozen on the path. He placed his hand on his chest as he began to inhale and exhale deeply, calming himself. The blue hedgehog eyed him with concern, asking once more.

"You ok buddy?"

The fox was about to snap at the hedgehog to not call him his 'buddy', but refrained. Instead, he simply nodded.

"Y-yeah."

The hedgehog frowned.

"You sure? You just suddenly stopped walking and started breathing like that. Have something on your mind?"

The fox's lips drew into a straight line. An unreadable expression formed on his face as he shook his head. Didn't want to deal with having to talk out his feelings and "trauma" with Amy again. He turned to keep walking, only to stop when the hedgehog responded.

"Was it about him again?"

The kitsune clenched his teeth in a mixture of emotions, mostly frustration at how the hedgehog could somehow read him like an open book. He turned back to the waiting azure mammal, shaking his head once more. It was now the hedgehog with an unreadable expression on his face, and once again Tails couldn't see what he was thinking. He previously found out pretty soon that the urchin had a rivalry with the doctor for a while. When the fox couldn't "recognize" him or anyone who mentioned Robotnick he saw a mixture of emotions form on the hedgehog's face. Sorrow, sadness, anger. Tails couldn't understand what all that meant.

That mixture of emotions was still present on the speedster's face. Sad and heartbroken, with a deep undertone of anger and self-blame. He never understood why he made that expression every time the doctor was mentioned by him and anyone else. But he did know two things: It made him hella uncomfortable and he was tired of it.

"Stop it."

The hedgehog's eyes widened at his usage of words other than 'yes' and 'no' but soon melted into one of confusion as he tilted his head.

"Stop what?"

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like...that! I don't know! Being all sad or angry or...whatever when ANYONE mentions him or I don't remember something you guys think I ever did. It's freaking me out!", The fox's gloved hands waved in the air as he spoke, lead on by a rush of adrenaline. The blue blurs face changed as he spoke, becoming one even more sad and regretful, scratching behind his quills as he spoke.

"Sorry, bud. It's just...what he did to you...it's not right. He shouldn't have messed with you in the first place. I should have been there to-"

"No no no... I'm not listening to you go 'I should have done this' Or 'this wouldn't have happened if I had...' because none of it happened in the first place. Me and you aren't best friends, we never were. Because if we were wouldn't have I remembered you?!"

"Yeah, you would have. He changed your memories buddy. He made them all wrong and-" The young kit grabbed at his head as he said those stupid words again. Gloved hands began to grasp at the orange fur, covering his ears.

"Not this again! My memories are fine! There's nothing wrong with them. You're the ones who need to get your brain checked because I'm not who you think I am!"

"No Tails, I KNOW what I remember. You're the smartest kid on the planet. You've stopped Ol' Egghead a million times with machines he couldn't dream of building. You're a friend to everyone here. You're my best friend, my little brother."

The grip on his fur became harsher.

"No No! Stop it! My memories are fine! You're the ones trying to change them, you all are. I was fine where I was before you had to drag me here where I don't belong! I was home with my family-"

"No. Eggman is NOT family, and that was NOT home. This is your real home, me and the others are your family Tails.", gloved hands moved to gently pry the fox's hands from ripping his fur out. Pulling the distressed child into a hug he continued to speak.

"Me and the others are your family. You're home. We'll make sure you get your memories back to normal, and we'll never let him get his hands on you again. You're ok here little buddy. You're safe. I promise." The blue hero gently stroked the fox's head, trying to get him to calm down. The kit continued to sob into the hero's fur, denying those things, murmuring about how he's a liar. There was a moment of calmness, before the fox's eyes widened and he suddenly ripped himself away from Sonic, beginning to scream and hyperventilate.

"No!-You-Y-your lying-You're a l-liar! My memories are f-fine, y-you're the one trying to ch-cha-ange them! I-I don't w-wanna be here anymore. I n-never wanted to be-e here! I want to go home...I want to go home! I wa-ant to...", the rest became nothing more than broken sobs, shrieks, and incoherent blubbering. The hedgehog tried to move closer to the kit, trying to calm him down, only for the child to bite into his arm and began to scratch him, his yelps and pleas for the fox to calm down went unheard by the manic person addressed. The others began to crowd around them, hands grabbing onto Tails as they attempted to pull him off, the fox's claws digging even further into the rodent he had trapped underneath him. Blood stained his gloves, and more of the ruby-red liquid was around his muzzle and in his mouth, leaving a strong metallic taste on his tongue.

He continued to shriek and cry in his state of hysteria until a needle was dug into his arm and he began to lose consciousness, his struggles getting weaker...

and weaker...

...and weaker...

Until everything went black...

The fox thumped his mitts together in boredom. Now they restrained his hands again. Great. Having his hands restrained meant that he now couldn't manage to pick up anything, not even utensils, having to ask someone to help him eat or to ask someone to take them off, meaning the person would stay in the room with him. They said it was temporary, and that they would come off when they were sure Tails wouldn't attack anyone else. This wasn't his first time doing this. He had bitten and scratched others in this place before, he can even still see the leftover bite marks or scratches that haven't healed yet on their arms and, for Knuckles, left ear.

It had happened when Knuckled was monitoring him, Tails didn't exactly remember what he said, but it cost the echidna a part of the left ear, not enough to make him go deaf, but enough that it was noticeable. It caused the echidna to be warier about what to say to the fox from then on. Amy had two bite marks on her right arm, and scratches coating the back of her hands, hidden by fresh gloves. Only she, Tails, and the people who were there when he attacked her knew they existed. She had tried to calm him down from his usual hysteria using one of those horrible syringes, saying something about a seizure. Saying she was sorry. She also became more cautious toward him. They both didn't monitor him that much after that.

Sonic had the worst of them. Bite marks and scratches coated his arms, one bite mark on his left shoulder and his legs were slightly bruised when the fox kicked against him one time.

But even though Tails did that he continued to spend time with him, acting like none of that happened. He didn't understand why the hedgehog ignored his attempts to shove him away. He found it a little insulting, but over time his anger and hatred towards this prison and everyone in it gave way to defeat and an overarching depression formed that made everything slower, it made him care less and less about what was happening around him. He couldn't bring himself even try to escape. They were just going to catch him over and over. What was the point?

There was hardly anything of his interest to do here. He couldn't tinker and build anything because someone had to be with him all the time, he didn't like it when people watched him work, made him anxious. The things he wanted to build would've gotten him out of here, so they'd probably stop him anyway. The thing he hated the most was how...nice they were.

Honey-coated words assuring him, comforting him, telling him everything was ok, and the one they repeated the most; we'll get your real memories back. What were they trying to do to say that? His memories were perfectly fine! He lived with Robotnick, not Sonic, like everyone else, including the rodent, wants him to believe. He's not going to let them win. 

No matter how sweet and nice, a cage is still a cage to the one trapped.

However, he's not sure what to truly believe anymore. He thinks he doesn't belong here but...he doesn't think he lived with Robotnik anymore either. The memories he had of the doctor didn't feel real. The picture's the people here showed him can't be real either. It...just doesn't feel right.

He sighed as he gazed outside, currently laying in his bed. Sonic was in the other room, bandaged and snoring away. He doesn't know the hedgehog keeps lying to him, telling him he's his brother. He was the one who took care of him. He was the one who took him under his wing. But...Tails just didn't know anymore.

Didn't know which past was real or fake, didn't know what to believe, and didn't even know if he was right at all. 

He hated this.

He hated Robotnick, always stealing the credit for the machines HE made. For destroying "failed" inventions.

He hated his old home, always so cold and empty. Wanting someone to talk to.

He hated this stupid place, everyone's eyes on him. Making sure he never stepped out of line.

He hated everyone in it, never letting him leave. Making him stay in this prison.

He hated Sonic, for bringing him here. Never leaving him alone.

He hated himself for being so easily fooled by everyone. Letting them confuse him.

He hated his mind, for never being clear on what was real. Which memories were fake.

He hated everything, for not making sense. Nothing ever did anymore.

The kit moved away from the window and curled up into his bed. There was no point trying to get out the window, the hedgehog was a light sleeper, and would wake up to the slightest creak of the floorboards. Even if he did get out, someone outside the village would tell them where he was and keep him there until they came and got him, reassuring him, telling him they weren't mad. These maniacs probably told everyone in this zone. He brought the covers over his body and tried to relax.

Tomorrow was another day.

He didn't know what to think of this place anymore.

It probably wasn't true anyway.

[darkeninganon]

Back at it again with the GHOST DREAM (gream) Content!

Fundy suffers a nightmare and moves in with the Snowchester gang. YEET.

Fundy stared at the desert around him, a ruined version of his tower nearby to his right, while a version of the hotdog van sat to his left. In front of him though, Quackity sat at a table, cards spready out in front of him, and an upside-down cup sat on the table; solid royal blue with a signature blocky smile on it.

Quackity chuckled, shuffling the cards. “Took you fucking long enough.” He was chewing on something.

Fundy growled. Not now. Dear Prime not again. “What do you want?”

“A game.” Quackity motioned for Fundy to sit, and the fox hybrid did, glaring at his former boss. “You see, I have something here you want. You win, you get it back. If you lose, I get it. The game is 21. A simple version of poker. Ready?”

“Hold on.” Fundy held up his hand, causing Quackity to pause. “What is it? What are we betting on?”

Quackity smiled, and Fundy thought he saw a glimpse of orange fabric caught between his check and teeth, but brushed it off once the cup was lifted.

“Gream?!” Fundy’s heard sank, ears falling, eyes wide as he saw the tiny, terrified ghost staring up at him.

“Fundy? What’s going-” The ghost yelped as the cup was slammed back down over him.

Fundy locked eyes with Quackity, anger and sorrow filling his body. “Quackity, what the hell are you doing?”

Quackity laughed, throwing his head back and clapping his hands, before returning to sitting calmly; “I told you the rules, you know what we’re playing for. So let’s start. Best three out of five.”

Fundy took a deep breath, his tail lashing about as he tried to calm down. His ears and tail had a habit of moving on their own, expressing his emotions without any warning. He needed to just keep thinking about Gream, the innocent ghost didn’t deserve this.

It was close. Fundy lost the first game, won the second, lost the third, and won the fourth. It all came down to the fifth game. Fundy watched Quackity closely. Fundy either needed it to end in a draw, or to win. Then there was the fact that Quackity was still chewing on something. It felt like hours, gum does not last that long no matter how good it is. Quackity set down his cards, four adding up to a perfect 21. He smiled, gold tooth stained with… red?

“Checkmate Fundy. Looks like you lose.” Quackity reached for the cup, only for Fundy the slam his hand over it, and mischievous smile on his face.

He set down his cards, a set of three also adding up to a perfect 21. “Less cards win. That’s how 21 works.” He lifted the cup, scooping Gream up and holding the ghost close to his chest. “Gream, are you okay?”

The ghost nodded, clinging to Fundy as he cast a glance at Quackity.

Quackity stood, giving a shrug. “Ah well. Win some lose some. Have fun with your ghost! He probably tastes like shit though.” He stretched, moving to walk away.

Fundy paused, ears dropping and brow furrowing; “Quackity… what’s in your mouth?”

Quackity stopped, another smile coming to his face. “Oh, you noticed? Well, you know what they say…” Quackity crudely spit out whatever was in his mouth into his hand, gripping it tightly and hanging it upside-down, dangling the orange clad man in front of Fundy.

Fundy’s face contorted in horror, finally registering who Quackity had been chewing on.

“The house always wins!”

Dream’s eyes opened, locking onto Fundy. “Help me…”

Fundy jolted awake, gasping as he sat up, heart racing. Yogurt was still asleep at his side, a snoring purr squeaking out of their chest. Fundy relaxed, smiling gently as he carefully climbed out of bed and went downstairs to make breakfast for the two of them.

A knocking at the door had him stop, carefully walking over and opening it “Yeah?”

Sam stared down at Fundy; Quackity, Foolish, Purpled, and Slime standing behind the creeper hybrid. “Fundy! My son!” Wilbur shoved the others aside, bursting forward to give the fox hybrid a hug. “How have you been doing?! I heard you left Las Nevadas!”

Fundy grumbled, ears folding back as he shoved his dad away. “Yeah. Look, could you keep your voice down? Yogurt is sleeping.”

“Who’s Yogurt?”

Oh, right. “My, uh… Yogurt is…”

“Dad, is everything okay?”

Fundy spun around to see his child standing at the top of the stairs, rubbing sleep from their eyes as they woke up from the voices. “Everything is fine, go back to-”

“Are you Yogurt?” Wilbur practically threw Fundy to the side, excitedly talking to his grandchild. The child nodded, meekly, casting a fearful glance to their dad. “I’m your grandpa! I’m Wilbur! Oh, it’s so nice to meet you!” Wilbur grabbed the kid’s hand, aggressively shaking it in greeting. Then he paused, face contorting in thought; “You… No, that can’t be right.”

Fundy watched, letting out a yelp as Wilbur grabbed Yogurt’s head and inspected the child’s eyes. Yogurt just stood there; ears folded in confusion as their eyes darted to their dad.

“You…” Wilbur let go, turning to Fundy; “You and Dream?! When did that happen?!”

“What?!”

“The green man?”

“Children here~.”

“I’m an uncle?!”

Everyone turned to Foolish, eyes gleaming as he smiled. “Fundy! Fundy is this true! Am I an uncle?!” The half-totem-half-shark grabbed Fundy’s shoulders, practically bouncing in place as he stared at the fox hybrid.

Fundy could feel his face heating up.

“Uh, you know what? Purpled is right! There are children here. We can discuss this some other time. I want to have a nice peaceful breakfast with my child.” Fundy rambled, spinning Foolish around and shoving the whole group towards the door. “Thanks for stopping by, I will talk to you in… later. Much later. When children are not near.”

Wilbur grabbed onto the doorframe, attempting to pull himself back into the tower; “Nooo! Let me see my grandchild!”

“You’ll be able to talk to them when you stop whining like a child!” Fundy gave one final shove, finally locking the door behind Wilbur and the rest of the group. He breathed a sigh of relief, recovering before looking at his child. The tower… was not safe, at all. And it wasn’t big enough to house a kid in. But Fundy did know someplace that was big enough. “Yogurt, go get some clothes on. We’re going to stop by Tubbo’s place.” The small fox hybrid squeaked in joy, running up the stairs to put on fresh clothes, leaving Fundy to sigh again and fall to the floor.

It was a quick but tense walk to Snowchester, Fundy looking around so much he nearly got sick from turning his head so fast. Once he was over the walls and knocking on the mansion door though, he relaxed.

“Fundy? What are you doing here?” Ranboo looked exhausted, answering the door in a rather posh looking robe and pajama set. The enderman hybrid seemed to notice Yogurt then; “Oh, did we have a playdate set up?”

“Uh, no. We, uh… We need to talk real quick, okay? Can we come in?” Fundy pleaded. Ranboo nodded, moving aside to let the two fox hybrids in. Fundy placed Yogurt on the ground; “Go find Michael. Maybe he wants to play a little.”

The child nodded, running off into the massive mansion, nodding to Tubbo as they passed each other in the halls. Their ears perked up as they heard oinking and talking. Two people, one was clearly Michael, but the other was… Someone new? An adult clearly, but someone Yogurt never heard before.

Yogurt, ran, following the voices to a room. They stopped, staring into the room and their piglin friend, who was talking to a tiny… person?!

“Woah! Who’re you?!” Yogurt ran up to the small person, staring at them intently.

Gream yelped, jolting as he came face-to-face with another child. “Oh, uh… Hi. Who’re you?” The tiny ghost stared, hesitant of the giant fox child staring at him.

“I’m Yogurt! Fundy’s my dad!”

Right, Fundy had a child. Gream almost forgot. “Ah, yeah. Um, I’m Gream. I’m… It’s nice to meet you.” He breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing as he realized who the child was.

“you’re small.”

“Mr. Gream does that sometimes.” Michael pipped up, snorting as he spoke. “He goes small, then he gets big. It changes from time to time.”

“Ah, well, that’s partially right.” Gream supplied, sitting on the edge of the table. He’d be back to normal height by the end of the day. “I tend to be super small like this after sleeping. Something about my dreams makes me shrink like this. I also sometimes sweat acid. It’s pretty weird, but everyone’s helping me try to control it.” Gream smiled as Yogurt nodded, absorbing the information.

“My dad has dreams that do weird stuff to him too! Sometimes when he wakes up, his tail is all super puffy, and his nails look like claws!”

Gream tried to imagine what that looked like, only able to conjure up the image of Fundy wide-eyed and fluffy, yipping at an invisible threat. He chuckled, snorting slightly as he tried to prevent it.

“Don’t laugh! He only does it when his dreams scare him!”

“Awwww~, that’s adorable.” Gream commented. He straightened up. What the fuck did he just do with his voice? He shook his head, ignoring the dread that crept up his spine. “That was weird. Either way, where is your dad? I want to speak with him!”

“With Tubbo and Ranboo! They needed to talk about something apparently.”

“Alright. Thanks!” Gream hopped off the table, running down the halls towards the entrance area; it was a safe bet that they were all on the first floor somewhere.

He didn’t notice Tommy staring in horror after him, both hands covering the teen’s mouth as he sat in the shadows.

Gream slowed as he approached, listening in to the conversation:

“I’m not sure. Michael might not like it. You did… talk about killing him when you first met him.”

“And I’m sorry! I just… Look, even if I can’t stay here, can you guys keep Yogurt here? Wilbur saw them and uh… Well, I think I know who their mom is. Or… Prime this is confusing.” Fundy groaned, tangling his hands in his hair and ruffling it.

“Okay… and that’s concerning because?”

Gream stared, head tilting. Yogurt seemed like a nice kid, able to sneak up on people and a little energetic, but otherwise okay. Gream sighed, pressing himself against the wall, steeling himself for what he was about to do.

“G-Gream? You okay?”

The tiny ghost jolted as Tommy came up to him, eyes wide with terror.

“Uh, yeah, just… breathing.”

Tommy nodded, kneeling by the ghost and extending his hand. Gream stepped on the extended hand easily, steadying himself as Tommy stood and walked to the group. “Hey, uh… what’s going on?”

“Oh, hey Tommy, hey Gream.” Tubbo motioned the two over, Gream clambering onto Tommy’s shoulder to get a better seat. “Fundy here wanted to move into our mansion. Apparently Big Q spooked him, as did Wilbur.” Tubbo continued, looking between Tommy and Fundy before snapping his head to Gream.

Gream stared at Tubbo; “What?”

“Uh, nothing… It’s just…”

“You all are children so I’m just going to say yes! Dream may or may not be Yogurt’s mom!” Fundy yelled, tearing his hat from his head before looking to Gream; “I know you don’t remember, and I’m not 100% sure, but I’m sure enough that I don’t want Sam or Quackity or Wilbur anywhere near Yogurt.” Fundy sighed, putting his hat back on. “Honestly, the dream I had last night kind of sealed the deal with Quackity.”

Gream perked up; “Really what was it?”

“Uh, well…” Fundy cringed, remembering the dream, remembering how Dream asked for help, how Gream was trapped under a cup for most of it. “Quackity and I… Quackity had you trapped in a cup, and I had to win three games to keep you safe. I won, but still.”

Gream shrugged. “That doesn’t seem that bad. Better than mine I guess.”

“Oh, by the way Big G-”

“Please don’t call me that. G is phonetically close to “D”, and I don’t like it.”

“G-man then-”

“Oh god, this isn’t going to stop is it?”

“Nope, anyways, G-man, you remember anything from your dream last night?” Tommy finally asked, tilting his head to look at the tiny ghost.

Gream shrugged; “I… Remember someone saying “Help me”… I think it was Nightmare.” Gream stared as everyone seemed to grow tense, Tommy tilting his head and looking away, Tubbo and Ranboo looking at each other in discomfort, and Fundy… Fundy staring right at him. “What?”

“Um, it’s nothing… Is Nightmare-”

“He started showing up in my dreams recently! Mister Quackity seems to really hate him. First time I saw him he was dead. He looks almost exactly like me, but he wears a prison suit.”

“Ah, that’s uh… Yeah, can me and Yogurt please stay here?” Fundy turned his attention back to Tubbo and Ranboo, pleading now.

Tubbo relented with a sigh; “Fine. Pick a room. And no giving Yogurt a sibling.”

“Tubbo!”

[arnamantle]

BURNAWAY Dev log: Embergeists

What are embergeists, exactly?

A dust-jacket scrutiny of BURNAWAY would likely see embergeists as the central antagonists of the narrative, the genesis of the fire that has called the player characters into action, and the largest threat to their lives while they’re on a mission. But BURNAWAY isn’t a trad fantasy RPG, where slaying the scary looking monster nets you experience points and loot. Through the game’s narrative-focused mechanics, players and their Burnaway counterparts witness these spirits’ expressions of anguish and forgotten purpose, and explore what means of communication between the living and the dead will provide a merciful resolution for both.

Embergeists don’t necessarily haunt the location where their former identity passed on, but rather the site that is connected to their regret or other lingering emotion that went unsatisfied. An embergeist is an incomplete puzzle, an avatar of unfinished business. However, its existence as a mere echo of emotions given fiery form provides it with no faculty of reason or waking thought. All it can do is mindlessly act upon the anger, sorrow or hatred that sustains it, which may end up being counterproductive to its posthumous desires.

No one knows for sure how or why the manifested essence of the Embergeist spontaneously combusts, or how that conflagration is sustained by spiritual energy alone. Reliable research on them is exceedingly scarce, to the point that fear of them can be tempered by a general disbelief in the paranormal. On the other hand, no victim has ever identified as a doubting Thomas post-contact. Even if one adamantly refuses to believe in the supernatural nature of Embergeists, there’s no way to deny the presence of a house fire.

Since the physical manifestation of an embergeist is shaped according to the emotional essence that birthed it, they can take on both humanoid and monstrous appearances. The animating will of some geists conforms them to a spectral version of their former identity, though often with distorted or exaggerated features. char-skeleton figures, mantles of smoke and ash, or limbs made of burning coal are common manifestations. Other embergeists may appear more creature-like, based on animals the former identity had a strong connection to or one that was involved in their death. For some, “monstrous” is the only proper descriptor, a nightmare of pulsing flame and malice.

Though there are vanishingly few Embergeists whose appearance isn’t frightening to the living in some way, a surprising number of them can be interacted with and put to rest without a fight. Even geists who were born from an intent of vengance or violent suffering can have these residual emotions satisfied by particularly savvy Burnaways who are dedicated to the path of placation. Some in this line of work hold to it as a calling, protecting both the living and the dead by helping these spiritual beings pass on under their own power. Others see it as a dangerous waste of time, when the tried-and-true method of exorcism gets quicker results, and with fewer victims or allies harmed while one person is trying to play therapist to an emotional spirit-puppet. The end result of either path sees the Embergeist permanently disestablished from the living world; there are no public reports of vanquished Embergeists reappearing at their haunts or anywhere else. You can check out more about this upcoming TTRPG project and get access to an interactive story primer here!

[gloriabomfim]

Certainly! Here are descriptions of each of the requested duo montages for each of the character pairs:

Part 1: Joyce and Tristesse's Duo Montages (Joyce Happy, Tristesse Sad)

Joyce is dancing and spreading happiness around, while Tristesse sits in a corner, visibly saddened and crying.

Joyce tries to cheer up Tristesse by playing cheerful music and dancing, but Tristesse's sadness remains, despite Joyce's efforts.

Joyce surprises Tristesse with a colorful bouquet of flowers, but Tristesse's tears turn the flowers blue.

Joyce attempts to tell jokes and funny stories, but Tristesse can't help but react with a sorrowful sigh.

Joyce and Tristesse go on a rollercoaster together; Joyce is ecstatic while Tristesse looks utterly miserable.

Joyce organizes a surprise party for Tristesse, but even amidst the festivities, Tristesse can't shake off her sadness.

Joyce takes Tristesse for a walk in a sunny park, trying to bring some joy, but Tristesse's demeanor remains downcast.

Joyce and Tristesse watch a heartwarming movie, and while Joyce is beaming with happiness, Tristesse is wiping away tears.

Joyce and Tristesse bake cookies together; Joyce's excitement contrasts with Tristesse's melancholic expressions.

In the final montage, Joyce gives Tristesse a heartfelt hug, showing that even in moments of sadness, there's still a connection and support between them.

Part 2: Acanda and Phobus's Duo Montages (Acanda Angry, Phobus Scared)

Acanda is visibly fuming with anger while Phobus trembles in fear, creating a tense atmosphere.

Acanda's loud shouting sends Phobus into a panic, and he starts hallucinating frightening things.

Acanda slams his fist on a table, causing Phobus to jump in terror and hide in a corner.

Acanda vents his anger by smashing objects, making Phobus even more terrified of the chaos.

Acanda and Phobus get caught in a thunderstorm, with Acanda raging at the weather while Phobus cowers in fear.

Acanda's anger boils over during an argument, causing Phobus to have a full-blown panic attack.

Acanda and Phobus try to work together on a project, but Acanda's short temper constantly startles Phobus.

Acanda and Phobus attempt a meditation session to calm their emotions, but Acanda's attempts only make Phobus more anxious.

Acanda confronts a challenging situation with frustration, causing Phobus to imagine it as a nightmare scenario.

In the final montage, Acanda finally manages to control his anger, and Phobus starts to calm down as well, showing that they can find a balance between their emotions.

Part 3: Joyce and Acanda's Duo Montages (Joyce Happy, Acanda Angry)

Joyce tries to cheer up Acanda by dancing and singing, but Acanda's anger only intensifies.

Joyce attempts to play a prank on Acanda, hoping to lighten his mood, but it backfires and makes him even angrier.

Joyce surprises Acanda with a cake, but Acanda's rage causes him to accidentally knock it over.

Joyce and Acanda go on a road trip, but Acanda's road rage makes the journey quite stressful.

Joyce tries to engage Acanda in a game, but his competitive spirit turns into anger.

Joyce organizes a surprise visit from Acanda's favorite comedian, but Acanda's anger remains unrelenting.

Joyce and Acanda attend a calming yoga class, but Acanda's inability to relax creates tension.

Joyce attempts to talk through Acanda's issues, but his anger leads to a heated argument.

Joyce and Acanda visit an anger management workshop, with mixed results.

In the final montage, Acanda starts to appreciate Joyce's efforts to help him manage his anger, showing signs of improvement.

Part 4: Tristesse and Acanda's Duo Montages (Tristesse Sad, Acanda Angry)

Tristesse's sadness and Acanda's anger clash, creating an emotionally charged atmosphere.

Tristesse's tears seem to aggravate Acanda's anger, leading to a tense standoff.

Tristesse tries to express her feelings to Acanda, but his anger makes him dismissive.

Tristesse's sorrowful demeanor causes Acanda to question his own anger issues.

Tristesse and Acanda attempt to mediate their emotions together, with mixed results.

Tristesse and Acanda's emotions seem to mirror each other, creating a confusing and turbulent dynamic.

Tristesse shares a sad story from her past, which softens Acanda's anger momentarily.

Tristesse and Acanda engage in a therapy session to address their emotional struggles.

Tristesse tries to comfort Acanda when he's angry, showing empathy despite her own sadness.

In the final montage, Tristesse's ability to express her emotions helps Acanda better understand and manage his anger.

Part 5: Tristesse and Phobus's Duo Montages (Tristesse Sad, Phobus Scared)

Tristesse's sadness and Phobus's fear create a somber and anxious atmosphere.

Tristesse's tears seem to intensify Phobus's fear, leading to a heightened state of panic.

Tristesse's attempts to comfort Phobus inadvertently trigger his hallucinations of scary creatures.

Tristesse and Phobus try to find solace in each other's company but struggle with their own overwhelming emotions.

Tristesse and Phobus explore various relaxation techniques to cope with their respective feelings.

Tristesse's melancholy stories inadvertently fuel Phobus's fear of the unknown.

Tristesse and Phobus share their deepest fears and sorrows, creating a unique bond of empathy.

Tristesse tries to create a calming environment for Phobus, with limited success given his constant fear.

Tristesse attempts to console Phobus during a particularly intense bout of fear, leading to mixed results.

In the final montage, Tristesse's ability to empathize with Phobus helps him feel a bit less scared, showcasing their enduring friendship.

These montages explore the interactions and emotions of the characters as they navigate their contrasting personalities.

[astrologyandlife]

your chart ruler + the stage of your life

generally speaking, where the ruler of your chart is sitting sets the stage for your life. this means that your focus will be more intense in that area. the ruler is also important, as it can indicate the nature of things occurring there! for example, having jupiter as your chart ruler sitting in the 1st house is vastly different from having saturn as your chart ruler sitting there. read on to learn more!

part i: the chart ruler

MARS

you are generally high-energy and active. you are never sat still for too long, and for the most part, you handle things head-on rather than waiting for them to wrap themselves up. as a result, this can lend itself to an almost pushy impression on others, unless mars is aspected positively with another planet like venus, neptune, or saturn.

VENUS

you act with a certain kind of grace and charm. you have a certain personal touch that you imbue things with, and you aren't one for conflict or discord. in fact, you seek harmony as often as you can, and comfort is one of your top priorities in any situation. typically, it either isn't easy to anger/upset you, or you are very good at hiding when something does.

MERCURY

flighty and restless are your most prominent qualities. in life, you easily move from one thing to another, never quite settling the way others do, and you may even find you are doing multiple things at once. you have a curiosity and thirst for knowledge that tends to drive what you do. you will also find that you are pretty good at conversation and possess natural wit.

MOON

like the moon, your disposition and emotions seemingly go through cycles. you are blessed with a form of intuition that a mother would display--when your friends need something, you just know what it is, and unspoken emotions are picked up by you subconsciously. you find it hard not to care about things, and people can usually tell when you are upset or going through something.

SUN

like the sun, you are full of vitality and light, with seemingly endless energy. you just have this glow about you. your personality is very strong and well-developed, and you have a good sense of who you are. you possess natural leadership qualities. you are just generally a very genuine person and don't try to deceive others about who you are. maintaining your health and vitality is of utmost importance.

PLUTO

you are magnetic and mysterious in a way that either draws others in or intimidates them. you radiate a subtle power that you can use to your advantage. when it comes to your passions and goals, you have a ferocity that is unmatched, bordering on obsession. you aren't the kind of person to be casual or dip your toes into things, you absolutely immerse yourself in them. you are very private.

JUPITER

you possess a heart of gold--generous, kind, and loving towards others. your view of life is positive, and you maintain a faithful and optimistic attitude whenever possible. it is safe to say you are a pretty lucky person, or at the very least, you create your own luck. you aren't afraid to dream big. sometimes you can go a bit overboard when expressing yourself.

SATURN

you are mature and responsible. people find that they can rely on you when they have your word, and it is very important to you to keep promises. it is easy for you to get stuck in negative thought patterns and to be hard on yourself, as you have very high expectations. You are ambitious and generally like the feeling of working towards your goals, knowing it will pay off in the future. you are very concerned about how people see you and your reputation.

URANUS

you are an individualist at heart. you believe in the freedom of people to live their lives and pursue whatever path they want, and if someone tries to stifle your freedom, you are quick to leave them in the dust. You also have a mind that is powerful and creative, able to learn new information lightning-fast. you like to consider the facts and have an open mind.

NEPTUNE

artistic and dreamy, you give the impression of being a sensitive, almost spiritual soul. you are particularly swayed by music and art because your mind is very abstract. you have the unique ability to be something akin to a social chameleon. you are very compassionate towards others and have a high sensitivity to your environment. your tuition is extremely strong

part ii: the stage

1st house;

you're very focused on yourself more than other people, and your dominant sign comes out in pretty much all facets of your life, but especially upon first meeting someone. if your chart ruler is very different from the rest of your chart, this can lead to someone getting the 'wrong' impression of you. developing a strong personality is of utmost importance here. you care a lot about your appearance and how you are perceived.

2nd house;

forming a strong sense of self-confidence and security is your primary focus. you care a lot about financial security and your own sense of personal comfort in a physical sense. you feel attached to the things you own. possessiveness isn't uncommon here, especially if pluto sits here. you either have strong values that you hold close to your heart, or you feel the need to develop them.

3rd house;

what motivates you very often is your curiosity and desire to connect to others. you enjoy good conversation and want to make friends. you tend to move from one thing to another, and you are very good at multitasking. you have a distinct style of speaking that is colored by your chart ruler, and people find you to have a good sense of humor and a lot of intelligence.

4th house;

there is a deep need to have a place that you can call 'home.' you are a relatively private individual and enjoy a lot of separation between work and home. your family has a high amount of influence on you, and it is very likely you will stay close to home. your background comes into play very often and informs your actions. anything sentimental has a big impact on you.

5th house;

you live your life for the things you are interested in. your hobbies can take up a lot of your time and energy, and if you don't get enough time with them, you feel drained or on edge. you love having fun and expressing yourself creatively. this could be someone who likes or wants kids. you do enjoy attention from others, especially if it comes from their admiration of you.

6th house;

your body is certainly a temple. you care a lot about taking care of yourself, and you have very specific routines in your daily life. these rituals contribute heavily to your wellbeing. you can also find yourself to be a bit of a workhorse (or workaholic if you aren't careful). you are dedicated to the service of others, even if it simply means lending a helping hand or giving advice.

7th house;

the focus in your life is other people. you define yourself based on your relationships with them, and if you aren't too careful, you can get lost in other people and lose your purpose. it's almost as if you need partnership to live a happy life. your biggest skill is your ability to create harmony, because you are a good mediator and try to compromise when possible.

8th house;

this makes you extremely private and secretive. you could live an entirely separate life and nobody would know! you also tend to know more about others than they think, and you never reveal more than you want to. i think a persistent theme of your life could be very intense situations and circumstances. transforming yourself is going to be very important, as is processing and working through your past.

9th house;

You live for the pursuit of knowledge, especially that of a higher level. You want to expand your mind through new experiences, meeting people of different backgrounds, and traveling to new places. It is entirely possible you will live your life in another country or a completely different part of your country. you view life as an adventure and are always in search of something new.

10th house;

your future and career are of utmost importance to you. you feel like you have to make a name for yourself. if you don't have accomplishments under your name, you feel like you have failed. so much of your life is spent in the pursuit of success. you shine in your career and could end up rising to the top. you make huge efforts to influence your reputation for the better.

11th house;

more than anything, you want to say you belong to some group. your friends are your life, and they are your family. it is likely you are involved in groups or organizations, whether it be through your school, a hobby you have, or something else. you also strive to create change within your community. in this house, you are always in pursuit of your personal goals and are very future-minded.

12th house;

a lot of your personality is hidden in a way, unlocked mostly when you are completely alone. you spend a lot of time in solitude and don't mind it. loss, sorrow, and grief could be a consistent theme in your life. truly, you express yourself most when nobody is watching. people see the fruits of your labor, but not the work you put in behind the scenes. you could have extensive daydreams or vivid dreams.

and if you want to learn more, here are a couple awesome resources:

https://notanastrologer.tumblr.com/post/649828538510426112/ascendant-lord-in-houses

https://cassieaurora.com/astrology-class/chartruler/ (super good if you're not familiar with finding your chart ruler)

[cleake]

Unfold

Angst with Wilford

I was inspired, by song "Not Allowed" by TV Gril Warning: English is not my first language, so sorry for any mistakes, thank you <3

Oh no, it's happening again.

Wilford stood in despair fighting his mind, feeling like at any moment he'll do something bad, again. You were with him, looking at his struggle, not knowing what to do to make your friend feel okay. How, in this moment, where everything seemed to fall apart?

Wilford tried to get the image of him, you, his friends, the things he's done away from him, but they were so vivid, so close to him. He felt like he was reliving it again. This awful feeling of guilt, confusion, and anger filled him whole, Wilford being unable to stop it. 

You stood there, feeling as horrible as Wilford, unable to do anything. You didn't know why it happened to you, why it happened to all of you, but it had some meaning behind it, you just don't know what. It made you angry, feeling so hopeless and weak. But now you should focus on your friend, who was getting into a spiral of emotions within him.

You walked up to curled up Wilfrod, with his head in his hands. You put your hand on his shoulder, trying to get him out of his memories, trying to tell him it's going to be okay. He did nothing, still behind his hands, not letting you in. It made you feel even worse, you felt like walking away, but you knew you couldn't, especially now. Everything was silent, still and quiet, nothing existed, just Wilford, you, and your shared memory. He was still not answering, very much detached from the present. He finally looked up at you, his eyes full of sorrow and fear, in his chest a sharp pain of guilt. You both were so scared but so strong as well. You together lived through so much, apart and together, changed so much since the incident. You both were confused, unsure, and scared, but together you felt less alone, at least you did. 

Wilford still didn't forget about his mistake, about his previous identity, his friends, and the house. He felt so responsible for all the pain he caused. He thought he'll never see you again, and yet you are here, with him, holding his shoulder and looking at him with a look full of sadness. How he could do that to you? His friend? A good person, who didn't deserve that. He didn't know the gun was loaded, he couldn't imagine hurting you, he could never! But he did, he did hurt you, he did kill you. Yet you are here with him. He should stop finding excuses for his actions, he can't mourn himself, not after what he did. He was sure you hated him, that you never wanted to see him, but you were here, close to him, comforting him. He felt so guilty because of this, he didn't deserve it, your forgiveness, your kindness.

The silence was starting to be painful, the emptiness between you two getting harder to witness. Wilford and you looked at each other, unsure what to do, what to say. 

"I am so sorry," he spoke with a weak tone in his voice. 

You looked at him in silence trying not to break down.

"I never meant to hurt you, to hurt anyone, really" he lowered his head, not meeting your gaze anymore, he was so ashamed of everything "I never wanted this, I never thought I could do this, that I was able to do this" his voice went more silent, breaking down with sorrow. His eyes which usually were so full of life and energy now were glassy, sad, and tired. 

You still didn't answer, how could you answer?

"I miss the old times, where I was at peace with myself. I miss when we all were together, maybe not happiest, but together."

A few heavy tears rolled from his eyes, onto his cheeks. His gaze down, trying to avoid your eyes, that were focused on him all this time. 

"Don't you? Don't you miss it?"

Finally, he looks up at you, you can see the sadness in his eyes fully.

"Were you happy back then? Are you happy now?"

You couldn't say anything, tears formed in your own eyes. Of course, you missed it, and of course, you wanted to go back to those times. And of course, you're not happy now, but you are not angry, not at Wilford, you knew he didn't mean it. 

"Are... Are we still friends?"

Wilford looks at you with a deeper sight, tears shining in his eyes. He's afraid of your answer, after all, he's done to you, to everyone, how can you still think of him as a friend?

"Do you like me?"

You slowly wrap your arms around him, hiding the tears on your cheeks from him. Wilford can't believe your act. That you hugged your murderer, the traitor. He can't accept it, but he appreciates it, he now knows you are still with him. Favorable and present with him. He didn't feel that for a long time. He missed you, he thought he lost you because of his deed. But you're here, hugging him, holding him close, the monster that caused so much hurt. 

"If I could take it all back" he whispers, sniffling quietly. 

"I hope we're friends, I hope you don't mind"

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

The God of Magic just wants humanity to be happy and thriving;

Version 1, Good!Merlin

INTRO

(Version 2, Dark!Merlin)

~

“You’re late.”

From their place in the bushes, the gang can see a wide grin break out on the woman’s face as she raises an eyebrow:

“You’re always getting distracted by pretty flowers or interesting conversations, how was I supposed to know that you’d be on time for once?”

Her voice somehow sounds like an ocean in a storm, ear-splittingly loud as the sound cuts right through them to the core, but also a gentle stream, soft and clear and soul-cleansing. The gang struggle not to flinch in their confusion.

Merlin chuckles slightly, shaking his head as he softly replies:

“Ah, I see, you were expecting me to be late, so you told me to turn up half a candle-mark before you intended to get here.”

She raises an eyebrow and nods:

“In the hopes I wouldn’t have to stand around and wait too long,-”

She shudders slightly as her face falls, though she manages to look beautifully intimidating even with a slight scowl on her face:

“-you know how much I hate it up here, on dry land.”

Merlin nods. He looks around him passingly, and the gang tense as his eyes rove over their hiding place; their fear is quickly replaced with shock (and even more confusion) as it strikes them that they’ve never seen Merlin look so relaxed, so at ease. He finally looks back to the woman:

“Hmm. I may not agree with you on that, but I understand. I could have met you at Avalon, you know.”

The woman frowns even more, and the gang can see Merlin tilt his head in question, even more so when she replies:

“I... wanted this conversation to be private, away from the prying eyes and ears of Mother and our Siblings.”

Merlin’s shoulders tense, and Arthur can vaguely see the outline of his hands clenching tightly in his pockets as his cloak billows in a sudden wind. The knights, Gwen, and Morgana all look to each other in confusion, Merlin had never spoken of siblings before, in fact, they’re fairly certain he specifically told them that he’s an only child. This woman was so drastically different from Merlin in appearance, they couldn’t possibly be related by blood. Perhaps she means "siblings" in a similar sense to how the knights are brothers?

A tense silence passes between the two, but it’s quickly broken by Merlin letting out a deep, bone-weary sigh, his relaxed demeanour completely dissolved, and looking to the floor, mumbling:

“What’s this about, Ava?”

The woman, Ava, the gang now know, lets out a sigh of her own, tilting her head and waiting for Merlin to look at her again before speaking, her voice sounding more consistently soft the more she spoke, as if she needed practice to regulate her volume:

“I think you know, Em.-”

(”Em?? I guess that could be a shortened version of ‘Merlin’, but... not really.”)

“-Time is running out, existence is threadbare as it is, and only getting worse with each passing day. The world is splitting, cracking down the middle; magic is running thin-”

Everyone feels Arthur tense at the mention of magic, even more so at Merlin’s non-reaction to the word. Though everyone is already understandably on edge by the way the woman speaks as if the world is ending around them, and they hadn’t even noticed:

“-and we are starving. The fates of The Bane-”

Mordred manages to stop himself falling backwards, but his sudden shaky breath earns him a concerned glance from Gwaine, crouched besides him:

“-and The Darkness have been avoided, if you do not move forward now, then when? With every day you stall, you plan, you stand idly by and wait, we choke on the gaping emptiness of a world that is leaking.-”

Merlin holds up a shaking hand to stop her, his other running through his hair in frustration as he murmurs:

“I know, I know-”

The gang watches with tense, morbid curiosity as Ava cuts him off, her expression both annoyed and sympathetic:

“I don’t think you do, Em. You haven’t been home in years. Could you stand it? To be God of Magic with no Magic to be God over? No universe to hold dominion over?”

Merlin scoffs slightly and walks to the side in his frustration, and the gang can see the melancholy annoyance on his face, plain as day. It’s almost enough to make them forget that he visited Ealdor just last month. It’s definitely not enough to distract them from the fact that she had called Merlin a God. The God of Magic, of all things. What the fuck??:

“I don’t hold dominion over anything I just... am.”

Ava rolls her eyes:

“That’s not the point and you know it. Mother sent you to fix the problem, to stop the purge, to encourage the Once and Future King to bring magic back and start the Golden Age. He has been King for years, but you still act as a servant. You are a God, Em, assert yourself. You could fix the world with a click of your fingers, but you wait for the humans to do it for you.-”

Merlin interrupts her slightly impassioned speech with a deep huff and a shake of the head. From where he now stands, the gang have a healthy view of his side profile, and they can see the emotions warring on his face: frustration, grief, desperation:

“That isn’t... that’s not what I’m doing-”

She rolls her eyes again and the gang are vaguely aware of a distant crack of thunder as she gestures sharply with her hands:

“That is what you’re doing. You’ve become too attached to these... mortals.-”

She steps towards him, cradling his cheek in a soft, elegant hand as her face morphs to one of complete and utter sorrow:

“-You’re setting yourself up for heartbreak, Brother. Human lifespans, the lifespan of your precious Golden King, are but a blink of an eye compared to ours; they will all wither and die and fade from you, and you will be left with your grief forever.-”

Her other hand lifts to settle comfortingly on his shoulder, and the gang can see a single tear slip from Merlin’s lowered eyes:

“-Do what you came here to do, and come home, to Avalon, we miss you, Em, the family needs you back.”

Merlin stills for a few moments at her desperate plea, but then steps back, shrugging her hands off gently and wiping the tear from his face:

“No. I... I’m doing this properly. Mother understands my fondness for humanity, that’s why she sent me, and I’m going to do it properly.”

Ava huffs out a gentle laugh at his determined expression, shaking her head slightly in fond disbelief:

“How can you love them? These... humans, when they slaughter your creations, when they don’t even know what you are?”

Merlin smiles softly, his eyes gazing into the trees as he quietly responds, his voice full of enough adoration to take the gang's breath away, to temper the twinge of fear and betrayal that had been swelling in Arthur’s lungs:

"I love them because they don't know what I am. It's nice, to be human; to walk among them, being loved and hated and respected and touched as if I were not more than they could ever possibly comprehend. Humanity is... made of juxtapositions. Their existence is contradiction upon contradiction, weaved together and held with emotions so large I can scarcely understand how they're contained in such little bodies. I've been alive and watching them for millennia, lived side-by-side with them for almost three decades, and they still surprise me. To walk among them, to see them come to terms with this universe that We made for them, to see how desperately they crave knowledge, exploration, experience... it's beautiful. The way they love so fully, the way they find meaning and importance in every grain of sand, every ray of sun, every tuft of fur on every creature, it's humbling. It's astounding."

Ava has a soft smile on her face, looking as if she could listen to her Brother ramble about his love for humanity for decades. She shakes her head slightly, letting out a gentle sigh as she asks:

"Then why won't you save them? The Gods will starve without magic, but humanity will starve without the Gods."

Merlin pauses for a moment, his face scrunched in concentration as he tries to think of the right way to verbalize his thoughts. 

The gang stare on in unconcealed bafflement; the realisation that Merlin is some kind of God brings less fear or anger than they think it should. Maybe it’s the shock, or maybe it’s the reverent way he speaks about them. Either way, they stay still and silent in their hiding place, and eventually Merlin’s face settles back into a soft smile as he looks to his Sister:

"I wish to see them save themselves, not because We need them to, but because they want to. Because their desperation to explore this universe will one day outweigh their misguided hatred of magic.-"

He nods decisively, repeating in a confident voice:

"-I wish to see them save themselves."

Ava sighs once more, stepping toward Merlin and putting her hand back on his shoulder:

“Your wishes may soon become... irrelevant. We’re dying, Emrys,-”

Arthur struggles to hold in a gasp at that. Emrys. He knows that name. Apparently it’s the name of a God, and not just some secret sorcerer who took a fancy to Camelot and deemed himself it’s protector. Lancelot’s eyes widen, though he manages to hide his shock well; no one else is focused on anyone else’s reactions, all internally freaking out. 

Mordred is pale and breathing shallowly, being the only one in the group who had already known the full truth. Percival looks to be in shock, he grew up with the stories of Emrys, but to learn that Emrys was a God? That Merlin was said God? Not what he was expecting out of this little trip. Gwaine, Gwen, Morgana, and Elyan look worried, seeming to have pushed aside their shock in favour of being concerned over Merlin’s safety and sorrow. Leon stares upon the scene with scholarly-looking curiosity, hiding his apprehension and shock well. Arthur’s expression is... unreadable. Ironically, the only person capable of knowing what he was thinking just from looking at him was currently having an incredibly terrifying conversation with someone who is also presumably some kind of God(dess). 

“-time is running out. I know that you don’t want to, but... it might be best to tell them the truth. You adore your humans because of their ability to love, do you not think they love you enough to forgive you your deceptions?”

Merlin clenches his jaw, and it’s the anguish on his face, paired with his almost-whispered words, that breaks their hearts:

“I... no. Just because I love them does not mean they love me back. I’m just a servant, Ava, I’ll never be important enough to be forgiven, God or not; I’ve lied to them for over ten years.”

She sighs, letting a tear of her own fall as she quietly responds:

“Emrys, you undervalue your worth, they don’t-”

“No. I don’t. You’re right, I have one life-time with them, with... with Arthur, and then I’ll lose them, and I’ll spend the rest of eternity grieving. I refuse to taint the already short time I have with them by having to watch them grow to hate me. I refuse.”

Merlin frowns as Ava rolls her eyes fondly, a victorious smirk on her face:

“If you would let me finish. They don’t hate you now, despite learning what they have just learnt, and you have yet to tell them of all you’ve done for them. Their love for you will only grow, Brother.”

Merlin tilts his head and raises an eyebrow. The gang take in a collective gasp at the realisation that she knows. And has likely known the whole time.

“What are you talking about?”

Ava’s smirk just grows, and she looks to the bushes the gang is hiding in, seeming to make direct eye-contact with a panicking Arthur as she speaks, he voice echoing unnaturally through the clearing:

“You can come out now.”

At her words, Merlin’s head whips around to stare at where she was looking. He opens his mind, allows his magic to stretch around him, and his skull is immediately full to burst with echoes of Mordred’s earlier, and ongoing, warnings, as well as the overwhelming presence of The (former) Darkness, The Once and Future King, and the others. He takes a stumbled step back, hand covering his mouth and tears spilling from his eyes as he becomes more and more convinced of... well... his time being tainted.

The gang stand and shuffle out of the bushes slowly, eyes trained on the floor and hands clasped in front of them tightly. It’s Merlin’s quiet, cracking “No...” that has them look up, paling at the absolute heartbreak on his face.

Lancelot and Gwaine give him weak, though genuine smiles, holding their hands out placatingly, but they halt their movements forward when Merlin just copies them pace for pace, moving away from them.

No one notices Ava rolling her eyes, not until she steps behind Merlin and puts a halting hand on his shoulder, stopping him from moving further away.

Merlin whips his head around, and another loud clap of thunder sounds out, much closer than the other one, quickly followed by a sudden downpour of frigid rain. The gang look to the sky in confusion, and Mordred desperately tries to reach Merlin through the mental link, offering comfort and reassurance; Merlin doesn’t seem to notice, the rain falling harder and harder as he almost fall to his knees, speaking in a desperate voice to his sister:

“Why... why would you... you know what this means. Why... why would you do this?! Ava?”

She rolls her eyes again, seeming to glow effervescently under the rivers of rainwater running down her face and over her clothes. She forces Merlin to turn and look at the gang, holding her hands on his shoulders to stop him from backing away (or collapsing in his grief) :

“Look at them, Em. Do they look angry to you? You should have some faith in the humans you claim to love so much. Look at them.”

Everyone in the gang gives Merlin varying levels of strained smiles; though Merlin, in his panic, is unable to tell that the strain is from concern and guilt, thinking that it was instead from hatred. He falls to his knees, his eyes shut tight enough to give him a headache and his hands clamped over his mouth in an effort to hold the sobs in.

Gwen and Morgana are the first to rush forwards, not paying the slightest bit of attention to Merlin’s... sister or the knights as they collapse to the floor in front of their friend, not sure whether to keep their distance or try to comfort the distraught man... God.

It’s his next choked sob that urges them to move once again, and the girls pull Merlin into a hug, tears of their own gathering at his agony. He freezes at first, then tries to pull away as lightening streaks across the sky, the violent bursts in sync with his choked breaths. When Gwen strokes a soft hand through his knotted hair, and Morgana pulls him further into her lap, muttering “We’re not leaving you, Merls, not ever, we love you.”, he relaxes slightly.

The thunder and lightening cease, but the rain still pours as Arthur stares over the pile of crying bodies to the woman, whose eyes seem to be growing brighter and brighter in the deluge. She stares right back at him, and The King jumps slightly when her voice echoes through her head, despite her still face:

“My brother has lost enough, please do not shatter his heart.”

Arthur nods once, before following Lancelot’s lead to the others, the rest of the knights not far behind them as Ava disappears. Whether she walked away without noticing or simply faded into the rain, no one knows, but no one really cares either. Soon enough, everyone is gathered around Merlin, stroking his back softly and whispering comforting promises over the sound of the rain. When Leon is the only one to notice Mordred’s eyes flash golden as he summons a shield above them, he simply shrugs his shoulders and refocuses his attention on muttering reassurances in Merlin’s head.

His breathing slows after a while, as does the rain, though everyone panics slightly when they see Morgana frown as she strokes the hair away from his face, revealing flushed cheeks and closed eyes. Mordred’s eyes flash golden once more as he presses a hand to his forehead, though no one lets the shock distract them for too long, latching on to his relieved tone:

“He’s just asleep, that would’ve taken a lot out of him. We should get him back to Gaius.”

The knights all stand, stretching and cracking joints to try and rid themselves of the cold stiffness that had settled in their soaked bones. Morgana stays on the floor, clutching at Merlin in her lap desperately, like he could slip away at any moment. When Arthur leans down to pick him up, she shoots him a glare, her own eyes glowing as the wind picks up once more, whipping through the clearing in an obvious warning. Arthur takes in a gasp, but shakes the surprise from his mind as he settles a soft hand on his sister’s shoulder:

“I... look, we’ll talk about this later, and I promise you’re going to be safe,-”

He glances up to an equally defensive looking Mordred:

“-all three of you, but Mordred’s right, we need to get him home and warmed up.”

Morgana hesitates for only a second, but the concern (and love) in her brother’s eyes sway her, and she nods, ever-so-carefully pulling her arms from around Merlin and helping Arthur get the younger (or... much much older) man situated in his arms before standing up.

~

The trek back to the castle is a fairly short one now they don’t have to worry about being quiet, and the rain has almost completely stopped by the time they make it to the citadel gates. It’s late, so the only people they come across are the occasional guard. But The King resolutely ignoring them as he carries his unconscious manservant through the corridors, his closest friends and advisors around him either openly crying or blinking away tears... well... it’s something that very much screams “DO NOT DISTURB US DO NOT SPEAK OF THIS IMMEDIATELY FORGET EVERYTHING YOU HAVE JUST SEEN”.

Elyan runs ahead to wake Gaius and warn him, so by the time everyone gets to the Physician’s chambers the fire is roaring, a patient pallet has been moved in front of the hearth, and Gaius himself is bustling around, preparing various concoctions and tinctures and blankets.

Merlin’s still shivering form is laid on the pallet, and Morgana shamelessly uses her magic to pull the heat closer and dry out his clothes. Mordred sits protectively close to the servant, one hand subconsciously close to his sword, the other resting on Merlin’s shoulder. Gwen settles between him an Morgana, and the knights figure that with her complete non-reaction to the magic... she probably already knew, she was smart like that. Gaius finally makes his way to Merlin’s side, tipping a gross smelling potion down his throat and running a hand through his hair, frowning worriedly down at his ward. 

Not a single word had been said since they entered through the castle gates, and Arthur is the first to break the silence, sitting on Merlin’s other side, opposite Morgana, and settling an almost accusing expression on his sister:

“You knew, didn’t you?”

She looks up at him, somehow appearing powerful and intimidating despite being soaked through and shivering:

“I knew he was... powerful, I didn’t know he was a God.”

Gaius’ head whips around quickly, and Arthur is surprised at the questioning horror on his face:

“A God?? There must be some mistake, Merlin is powerful yes but he’s not-”

Mordred’s quiet voice interrupts him, though he doesn’t look away from the unconscious man as his fingers twitch over so slightly closer to the hilt of his sword:

“I knew. Though if I’d known he felt so... if I’d known how he felt, I would have spoken to him about it sooner, I apologise.”

Everyone looks at the group’s youngest member in shock, almost speechless, but Gwaine stutters slightly before clearing his throat and trying again:

“So... that was real, Merlin is a fucking God.”

Mordred nods absent-mindedly, eyes flashing golden as he presses his hand to Merlin’s forehead once again, frowning. Arthur’s brow creases in concern and he leans closer to Merlin:

“What is it? Is he ok??”

Before Mordred can reply, Leon speaks up, his voice tired, but strong:

“If he’s some... powerful God, then why is he hurt in the first place? Shouldn’t he be able to resist any sort of injury or sickness??”

Mordred shakes his head, finally looking away from Merlin to gaze at the group surrounding him. He looks doubtful at first, but when he sees the genuine concern on everyone’s faces, especially from Gaius and Arthur, he sighs and speaks softly:

“It’s difficult to describe. Merlin could access the full range of his power and do anything, if he wanted, but it’s draining and complicated when stuck in a human body. He himself is a God, yes, but this form is still vulnerable and mortal; he can get injured, and sick, he can die, or at least the body can. Merlin tends to repair this body when that happens, instead of moving on. He... likes it here.”

Everyone nods, understanding at least a little, though Gaius and Lancelot look the most shell-shocked. The room goes silent once again, and Percival, sat on the floor against the end of Merlin’s pallet with Elyan and Gwaine, is the first to speak, his voice shaking and sorrowful:

“He really thinks so low of himself. He’s a God... and he was terrified of the thought of us hating him, as if such a thing were even possible.”

Gwaine curses under his breath and Leon restarts his slow pacing around the room before he stops suddenly, turning to face the others with a look of anger on his face:

“Well of course he thinks it’s bloody possible. He’s right, we treat him like a fucking servant even though he’s one of our dearest friends, and half of us talk about the evils of sorcery on a near constant basis. He’s the God of Magic, of course he’d think we would hate him.”

Everyone is taken aback at Leon’s rage, though no one can deny that what he’s said is true. Leon is... quietly protective of everyone in the group, and it’s a time like this that reminds all of them that he had known Merlin just as long as Arthur had, and definitely held a certain brotherly affection for the younger (uh... yeah, whatever) man.

The older knight sags slightly, seemingly realising how exhausted he is, and pulls a chair up next to Arthur before collapsing in it, head in his hands. Arthur pats him on the back a few times before looking back to Merlin’s now thankfully not-shivering form, taking in a deep breath and nodding his head decisively:

“Well, we’ll just have to show him that it isn’t possible. I... we need to show him that he’s... important to us. Loved.”

Morgana just raises her eyebrow at The King, but doesn’t say anything as Gaius mutters a tearful “My poor boy.” under his breath. Elyan stands from his place on the floor, moving to perch on a bench behind his sister and setting a comforting hand on her shoulder as he softly speaks:

“He needs to know that we want him to stay here, with us.”

Percival shakes his head slightly, looking conflicted:

“Wouldn’t that be... cruel? That woman... Ava, was right. We’ll all grow old and die and he’s a God, he’ll live forever and he’ll grieve. Isn’t asking him to stay selfish?”

No one has an answer, and the room grows silent, everyone stewing in their own tense thoughts, trying to weigh the pros and cons, trying to measure exactly how selfish they were willing to be when it came to Merlin.

~

The sun rising over the horizon and peaking through the uncovered windows is what wakes everyone (bar Merlin) from their fitful sleeps. All of them had been plagued with odd dreams and nightmares through the night, so despite their exhaustion, they were grateful to be awake.

No one said anything though, waking one by one and pacing briefly around the room in an attempt to cure themselves of the aches gained from falling asleep in such awkward positions.

It’s still incredibly early in the morning, so thankfully none of them are needed for at least two more candle marks, but it’s Lancelot who breaks the silence first, clearing his throat and looking down at his best friend:

“It wouldn’t be selfish.”

Arthur looks up to him, noting the bags under everyone’s eyes and the tear tracks no one had bothered to wipe away:

“What are you talking about?”

The knight runs a hand through his hair, sniffling slightly and taking a deep breath before he stares around the room, making sure everyone was awake and paying attention as he spoke:

“For us to tell him we want him to stay, it wouldn’t be selfish. You heard him, he loves it here, he’s desperate to stay, he loves us. He still has at least thirty years worth of memories to make with us, and yeah, maybe that’s not a lot in the grand scheme of the immortal life of a God, but it’s more than the ten he’s already got. We can’t take that away from him. He... he wants to be here. Telling him to leave just to alleviate our own guilt... that would be selfish.”

Everyone looks a little doubtful, bar Mordred, and it’s him that Arthur turns to:

“Mordred? You knew... what he is, which we are still definitely going to have a conversation about by the way, what do you think?”

Mordred sighs, biting his lip for a moment before finally ripping his gaze from Merlin’s still unconscious, but now healthier looking body:

“He is more than any of us will ever be able to comprehend. You still see him as just Merlin, he is, but he’s also much more; he is Emrys, the saviour, the God, the Guiding Light. He is magic itself, woven into the fabric of the universe. He inhabits every space, and no space at the same time, he exists in every grain of sand, every drop of ocean, every speck of sky. To... to assume that he is not capable of deciding what he wants is an act of unforgivable hubris. If he stays, who are you to demand he leave and name yourselves selfish, when he has not deemed it so?”

Arthur pales slightly at Mordred’s words, as does everyone else. Gwaine seems to be taking it in his stride, and Lancelot seems less surprised than Arthur thinks he should (definitely something to question, but not right now), but before anyone can say anything, Merlin twitches, a low groan escaping his throat as his brows crease.

Everyone moves quickly, gathering around his bedside in a huddle. Morgana, Mordred, and Gwen are grateful to still be sat in their seats, and if they weren’t so busy worriedly leaning over Merlin they would be rolling their eyes at the way the others were pushing and shoving to be at the front. Gaius elbows his way to be stood by Merlin’s head, a cold compress in one hand and a grey looking potion in the other.

Morgana strokes a hand through Merlin’s hair and the frown on his face eases; he blinks his eyes open, swallowing before grimacing at the taste in his mouth and groaning again. Gwen leans over his head, smiling as she settles a hand on his warm cheek:

“Morning sleepyhead. How are you feeling?”

Merlin just groans again, rubbing his shaking hands harshly into his eyes as he says, his voice dry and painful-sounding:

“Ugh. Like Arthur’s aim got miraculously better.”

Arthur rolls his eyes and flushes slightly, but before he can defend himself Merlin bolts upright, taking in a deep, ragged breath, eyes wide. Mordred focuses a concentrated expression on the side of Merlin’s head, but Arthur ignores it as he reaches forward, settling a hand on the dark-haired man’s shoulder and muttering his name:

“Merlin?”

Merlin’s breathing only gets deeper as he whips his head around to stare at Arthur. The blonde tries to smile comfortingly at him, but Merlin barely seems to notice as he scrambles back on the bed, only stopping when he comes into contact with Leon behind him.

Mordred’s face morphs into a concerned frown at Merlin’s terror, and now his tears, so instead of waiting for the man to calm down enough to let them explain, he rushes forward, grabbing the back of Merlin’s head and forcing their foreheads together before he can pull away. He shuts his eyes tightly, muttering some sort of incantation under his breath. Merlin gasps loudly and Mordred groans, holding their heads together for a few moments before collapsing back into his seat, clamping his hands over his eyes as if trying to press a headache away. Merlin slumps back against the warm body behind him, and Leon just about manages to catch him in strong arms before he falls to the floor.

This had all happened in the space of a few moments, and when the two of them still, the others unfreeze. Arthur turns on Mordred:

“What did you do?? What was that?!”

Mordred groans again, looking up blearily, first at Merlin, who seems to be in a similar state to him, leant against Leon, and then to Arthur:

“He wasn’t calming down, so I shared my memories. From when we met at the edge of the forest yesterday, to just before he woke up. It’ll take him a little longer than me to sort through them.”

Arthur nods and Morgana looks impressed, and everyone looks to Merlin again, waiting for him to pull the hands from his eyes and talk to them, look at them, anything.

He finally seems to relax his muscles and Leon rubs his hands up and down his arms softly; despite the fact that he’d been warmed by the fire, the knight was still oddly worried about Merlin being too cold. He lets out a deep breath, lowering his shaking hands as he slowly raises his teary gaze, staring at Arthur:

“You... you want me to stay?”

Arthur ignores the tears dripping down his cheeks as nods desperately, forcing a soft smile on his face as he sniffles:

“Yes. Please. We don’t want you to go, we don’t hate you.”

Merlin launches himself at Arthur and the only thing stopping The King from falling back from Merlin’s surprising weight is Percival’s hand on his back. Arthur wraps his arms tightly around Merlin’s middles, turning his head to press a kiss to the other man’s temple as he tries to get his tears under control; he completely ignores the others in favour of muttering into Merlin’s hair:

“It’s alright, Merlin. You stay here, with us, as long as you want. We... I, love you. Stay, please.”

Merlin just sobs harder, gripping the back of Arthur’s tunic as he kneels on the bed, his response stuttering and barely understandable:

“But- but I’m-”

Arthur just hushes him, stroking a hand through his hair and giving everyone else in the room pointed looks. They all crowd around Merlin again, placing comforting hands on his back and shoulders and arms and hands. Mordred whispers his adoration in Merlin’s head, and Morgana presses a kiss to the nape of his neck, all in the hopes of convincing him that the memories he had were true.

His breathing finally calms, and Arthur shuffles to the side so he can sit down next to him, not daring to remove the arms from around his neck or push him away. Merlin pulls away himself when Arthur settles, but doesn’t move far, and there’s no space between them as he hastily wipes the tears from his face, staring at him lap, cheeks flushed. Arthur takes his hand slowly in his, but Merlin still doesn’t look up, so Morgana kneels in front of him, placing her hand on his knee softly and saying with a teasing smirk on her face:

“You know, if I’d known that my teacher was The God of Magic, I might’ve complained less at the studying you make me do.”

Merlin finally looks up at her, a weak smile on his face, and Morgana winks at him. It’s Gwaine who tries next, settling on Merlin’s other side and sighing loudly:

“Forget the God thing do you know how many pranks we could’ve pulled if you’d told me you had magic?? Can’t believe you’d take that opportunity from me, all of you.”

He gives Mordred and Morgana jokingly offended glares and they roll their eyes, though their attention is quickly drawn back to Merlin, whose hands are clenching tightly in his lap. The room goes dark all of a sudden, and a glance to the window would tell them that the clear morning was suddenly overcast, thunder rumbling in the distance as rain slammed against the glass. Arthur squeezes Merlin’s hand and quickly, though gently, shoves Morgana out of the way, kneeling in front of Merlin and lifting his chin with his free hand:

“It’s fine, Merlin. We’ve all got a ton of questions but everything’s going to be alright, I swear. In fact, I’m glad we found out, it was cruel of us to make you live in a kingdom where you aren’t accepted, but that changes now, I promise.”

Merlin stands suddenly and walks between them, taking a deep breath before turning suddenly a scowl on his face:

“It wasn’t her choice to make, it was mine, and she took it from me.-”

With every harsh the thunder grew closer and the glass in the window frame shook more violently:

“-I was going to tell you after you changed your mind about magic because it had to come from the heart. You can’t change the Kingdom just for my sake! I wanted to do it properly and she took that from me because she was bored!”

Everyone rushes to say something in an effort to calm him down, both for the safety of the windows and his happiness, but Arthur’s blunt-

“Why?”

-stops them in their tracks. Merlin looks to him sharply, though Arthur is grateful for the thunder quietening down as he replies:

“What do you mean why? Why what?”

Arthur huffs out a gentle laugh, shaking his head in disbelief:

“Why can’t I change the Kingdom for you? You’re important, you’ve touched so many lives in so many wonderous ways; that in itself tells me that magic isn’t evil, so why can’t I change the Kingdom for you?”

The thunder stops and the rain slows to a gentle patter as Merlin tilts his head, his scowl of anger morphing into a sad, confused frown as he responds in a small voice:

“But... I’m just a servant. You’re not doing it out of fear, so I’m still just... nobody important.”

Arthur just laughs again, walking towards Merlin and settling soft hands on his shoulders, grateful to feel the others close to his back:

“You have never once been just a servant, Merlin. Something tells me you’ve been saving my life, and this Kingdom, since the day we met, so even if it had no effect on anyone else whatsoever, I would still change the law. Because you are a good man, and you are important, and you deserve it. Compared to you, it is us, who are just human.-”

Merlin frowns again and Arthur rolls his eyes to stop him arguing:

“-Just... give me another hug, and accept it. You idiot.”

He can feel someone (probably Morgana) thump him on the back, but he doesn’t turn around, eagerly returning Merlin’s hug when the brunette wraps his arms around Arthur’s middle tightly. The King presses closer, uncaring of what his audience thinks of him for the first time in his life (probably because he has a feeling that they’ve known of his... affections, longer than even he has) and  mutters his question into Merlin’s ear:

“We... I love you, Merlin, more than anything. Will you stay with me?”

The King is vaguely aware of his First Knight whispering “I told you so, idiot.” behind him, but all he cares about is the sensation of the God, more ancient and powerful than anything he could ever comprehend, nodding into is neck.

THE END!!

I really enjoyed writing this, and I hope y’all like it!!

Link to the Dark!Merlin version (I warn you, it’s hella angsty) is at the top!! :)

[mammonshuman92]

- It Takes Two - Pt.3

(Mammon x GN!MC)

Warnings: Angst to fluff, mentions of drunkenness and being taken advantage of, implied seggs Notes: S/N = succubus name (too lazy to come up with one and that hoe don’t matter lol) also, if it’s garbage I’m sorry lol thanks for reading!!

“Absolutely not.” Satan deadpanned, arms crossed as he scowled at his brother.

“C’mon, Satan. This is important!” He insisted, unwavering under his younger brother’s glare as they bickered back and forth in the fourth born’s doorway.

After seeing you in the kitchen and finally being able to talk to you, to simply be near you, for the first time in over a week, he was too excited to fall back asleep. Instead, he used that time to come up with the brilliant plan he was currently rushing around to execute. If Satan would just cooperate, that is.

“Look, I just need to borrow it, okay? Just for today, then I’ll give it back.”

“Do you remember what happened last time a bangle like this was used in this house?”

Mammon shuddered lightly at the memory of the punishment he and Satan had received for putting the last truth bangle on Lucifer, just for him to destroy it in a matter of seconds.

“I’ll never forget it.” He promised, expression going blank as he unwillingly reminisced. He shook his head lightly, as if clearing his thoughts and coming back to the current mission at hand, “Doesn’t matter though, I for real need to borrow it.”

“No.” The blonde demon stated once more, attempting to close the door on his brother. Mammon put his foot in the doorway and placed a hand on the door. Satan sighed, becoming quite irritated. It quickly dissipated upon seeing his brother's expression.

Naturally, they all knew what was going on. At this point, who didn’t? But to see his brother now, the shell of the man he usually is, a desperation in his eyes he’s never seen before, was a little alarming to be honest. And you, seeing the way you’d been handling everything was far more painful to watch; for all of them. Because of this knowledge, and the level of agony that can be read in one’s eyes; Satan relented.

He sighed heavily and opened the door all the way, stepping aside and motioning for his brother to come in. 

“Just so we’re clear, I’m doing this for MC.” He clarified.

It’s not as if he was lying, but he’d rather spend an entire day bonding with Lucifer than admit he misses the old Mammon.

-

Mammon was fidgety the entire day as he impatiently awaited for the perfect opportunity to set everything in motion, just as he’d so ingeniously planned. It would absolutely prove to you that he’s telling the truth, put all the rumors that have been circulating to rest, and get the succubus to confess to her part in all of it. All he had to do was wait until his last class of the day, Seductive Speechcraft; the only class he shared with you and the succubus both.

You had an oral assignment due today and had to pair up randomly, stand at the front of the class and seduce your partner. He hadn’t been too concerned about the project because well, he had you. It’s not like he hasn’t seduced you before, and vice versa. Not to mention that no one else would dare pick you as a partner since it was a well known fact that the two of you are together. ...Were together.

Thinking of your relationship in the past tense made his heart ache.

He was practically bouncing in his seat with how restless he’d become. You were here in this class, just a few tables behind his. He tried to casually turn back and steal a few glances of you, but every time he did, you looked away. The permanent red rings that seemed to adorn your eyes now were like a knife to the gut. 

His plan had to work. It had to. He couldn’t go on much longer, knowing the kind of pain you’re in. The pain he caused. 

She caused.

“Mammon.” The professor called, gesturing for him to come to the front. He jumped up from his seat, nearly running to the front.

This is it. It’s time to get MC back.

-

“S/N.”

The room erupted in whispers, everyone turning to look at you. You sank down in your chair slightly, feeling as heat flooded your face. Embarrassment, anger, pain and probably a dozen more emotions surged through you. Asmo, who was sitting next to you, reached out and placed his hand on your arm that was resting on the table.

How does this count as proving his innocence? I should’ve known better. I’m such an idiot..

She stood from her seat slowly, turning back to look at you, a smug smile on her dumb face. You swallowed hard, the stinging in your eyes a warning of the tears that were to come. A few colorful words quietly slipped past Asmos’s lips as he gently squeezed your arm, giving you a sorrowful look.

She pranced to the front happily, Mammon’s face mirroring hers, making your stomach churn harshly.

If I lie and say I’m going to the bathroom, I wonder if I can sneak off to the HOL...

The professor nodded to them, signaling they could begin whenever they were ready. Mammon nodded, reaching into his pocket as he turned back toward the succubus. He fished out a bracelet of some kind. He gently grabbed her hand and slipped the bangle on her wrist. She giggled and looked at it in awe. You could feel the bile rising in your throat, as the hole in your chest grew, making you certain it was visible on the outside.

“I got ya this unique bangle. I hope it brings ya as much happiness as it will for me.” Her brows furrowed slightly at his words, unsure of what he was implying. She shook it off quickly, turning her heart eyes back to him.

“When I first saw ya, I thought you were insanely beautiful and I knew I had to make you mine.” He began. 

“It didn’t take long for you to win me over, using your charm and pretty words to reel me in.” He said, smiling at her. Her face was flushed as she soaked up the words that were tearing you apart.

Mammon dropped the hand that had still been holding hers from when he slipped the bracelet on, “But, that’s all it was, huh? Charm and pretty words.” Your ears perked up at the slight change in his tone.

“What?” She questioned, a look of confusion replacing her infatuated one.

“You only wanted me for what ya could get outta me. Grimm, clothes, jewelry. When I realized that, I broke it off.” 

“How is this considered seducing?” She griped, crossing her arms over her chest, lips contorting into a pout.

“Be patient, the best part is coming up.” He beamed at her.

“Where was I? Oh, right!” He began, turning his gaze on you, the class following suit. You sank a little further into your chair. 

“Fast forward a few hundred years and now MC and me are together and couldn't be happier. Like, I’ve never been so happy in my entire life. But, for some reason you hated that, huh?” She glared at him through narrowed eyes. “Yes, I did.”

She gasped, throwing a hand up to cover her mouth; shocked by her own words.

“Why?” He pressed.

“Because MC has become so popular. Like, they’re just a stupid human. What’s so great about them that they get the attention of every high ranking demon in all of the Devildom?” She blurted out, eyes filling with horror as she realized she couldn’t stop the words, the truth, from spilling out like word vomit.

Whispers could be heard once more throughout the room, eyes darting back and forth between you and them.

“Is that why ya confronted MC after school last week?” He continued.

“Yeah. I wanted to hurt their feelings, knock them down a peg. Let them know that they aren’t that special just because they have what I had first.” She gasped again, shocked by how easily she was spilling her guts.

“What is going on?!” She hissed at him as she nervously looked around the room at their fellow demons, and you, staring at her.

The corner of his mouth pulled up slightly, “Oh, did I forget to mention that that bangle makes the person wearin’ it only speak the truth? Must’a slipped my mind.” He scoffed lightly, tapping his forehead a few times.

Oh my Diavolo.. the truth bangle..

Having remembered when you and Levi borrowed it from Satan to put on Mammon because of that game of Levi’s you got stuck in, you were fairly certain you knew where this was going. A small feeling of hope blossomed in your stomach.

With eyes as big as saucers, she desperately clawed at the bangle like some feral animal caught in a trap.

“Only the person who put it on can take it off.” He informed her, another smirk on his face.

 Her head snapped up to look at Mammon, who was already staring at her. He leaned in, his words only meant for her ears.

“Time to pay for what ya did.” He whispered venomously, causing her to recoil slightly.

“Movin’ on.” He leaned up quickly, shooting you a glance before continuing. A look you’d seen many times before.

That was his ‘I have an ace up my sleeve’ look.. He’s definitely up to something. You thought to yourself.

“Let’s talk about last week at the club. Tell us what happened.” He said, walking the floor around her. The way he was talking to her was as if he were a talk show host trying to pull the latest tea out of his guest.

“I went with some friends, but decided to snoop in the VIP lounges to see if I could flirt my way into some free drinks. And I found you in one of the lounges, clearly drunk off your ass. Oh, and you were whining about that stupid human.” She rolled her eyes. The look on Mammon’s face, the bubbling anger, didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“Okay, I’m gonna have to stop you for a moment. I don’t really see how this fits into Seductive Speechcraft.” The professor chimed in.

“It’s gettin’ there, I promise.” Mammon assured him. The professor eyed him curiously, then nodded.

“Alright, so after ya found me in the VIP lounge, what happened next? Tell us everythin’.”

She shook her head wildly from side to side in protest of continuing, knowing she would be doomed if the truth got out, but the bangles magic was too strong.

“I tried talking to you, but you kept being an ass, once again, whining about the human.” She scoffed, “ Then, I sat down next to you and started flirting with you, whispering in your ear and stuff, then you jumped up. But, you got really lightheaded from the quick movement and sat down again. You were very, very intoxicated.” She explained, panting; becoming physically exhausted as she tried to fight the bracelets magic.

So far everything is just as he said. Which means the next part is..

Sweat beaded on her forehead and her face paled as the words that revealed her for what she was started to come out.

“I thought that since you were so wasted you’d give in to me, so I climbed into your lap. We started making out and it was getting pretty hot, pretty fast, but then you kept saying their name over and over and over. So I went along with it. You were so wasted you didn’t know what was going on, you were going to ruin me on that couch, thinking I was them and I wasn’t going to stop you. You were almost mine again, but before anything good happened the human and Asmodeus walked in and ruined everything.”

She clapped her hands over her mouth as tears began welling up in her eyes. Everyone in the room was staring at her wide eyed and whispering. D.D.D. 's all over the room were snapping pictures and recording video of the chaos. She was ruined.

Mammon quickly grabbed her hand and slipped the bracelet off her wrist. The succubus ran from the room red faced and in tears after outing herself as a jealousy fueled, manipulative predator.

You were shell shocked.

Everything was true. Every bit of it. He didn’t betray you, break your heart. Even completely out of it, all he thought about was you..

You’ve spent the entirety of the last seven days believing the one person you’d fully trusted with your heart, the only person you’ve ever loved so much that they just felt like home, had completely stabbed you in the back and broke your heart.

But he was taken advantage of when he was in a bad way, and he was innocent.

“So… you’re not going to do a Seductive Speechcraft presentation? Because although it was entertaining, your little show doesn’t count.” The professor interrupted the commotion, looking at Mammon expectantly.

Mammon turned to you and motioned for you to come to him. Like the love struck fool you were, you obliged; eagerly rushing to the front of the class. He reached for your hand as soon as you came to him, cradling it softly in his with misty eyes as he looked at you.

“Mammon, I-” You began but was quickly interrupted when he put his finger to your lips, shushing you.

“Hang on, MC. I got somethin’ I really need to tell ya, okay?” His expression was serious yet soft. 

“You are the most important thing to me in all the realms. I don’t care that you’re a human and I’m a demon. That don’t matter to me. I’ve never been happier in all the millenia I’ve been around.”  His bottomless blue eyes bore into yours as he fiddled with your fingers nervously. 

“I swore to ya that I’d never do anythin’ to hurt ya, and I meant it MC. I didn’t want her, and I still don’t. You’re the only thing I ever want for the rest of my life. I love ya, MC. And I’ll spend every day provin’ it to ya.”

With tears streaming down your face you threw your arms around his neck, smashing your lips to his hungrily. His arms wrapped around you tightly, holding you as close as possible as your lips moved together desperately.

“Although it was odd and took you entirely too long, I guess I’ll give it a B+. ..Ok, that’s enough, break it up. Hey! Do I need to get a hose?”

-

Devilgram was quickly flooded with pictures and videos of S/N’s multiple, embarrassing confessions, effectively putting to rest all the rumors that had been circulating as of late.

After being scolded heavily by the professor and even more so by Lucifer for your very public display of affection, the two of you locked yourselves in his bedroom.

“Thankfully Satan let you borrow that bangle.” You were sitting up against his headboard while his head rested in your lap facing your belly, arms wrapped around you snugly refusing to move even a centimeter.

“Mhmm.” He hummed sleepily as you carded your fingers through his hair, ever so slightly scratching his scalp with every pass. It’s the most relaxed he’s been in what feels like eternity.

“Probably made spilling your guts in front of everyone a little easier, too.” You teased lightly in regards to his tsundere tendencies.

“I wasn’t wearin’ the bangle.” He stated, matter-of-fact.

“What?” Your hand paused in his hair.

“Ya talkin’ about all the stuff I said to ya back there? Yeah, I wasn’t wearin’ the bangle. I don’t need to be forced to tell ya how much you mean to me. Not anymore.” He pulled you down onto the bed, causing an outburst of giggles from you, until he was hovering directly above you. His hand rested softly against the side of your face, his thumb tenderly stroking your cheek; his sapphire eyes overflowing with love and adoration.

“Since the first time ya smiled at me, the first time ya said my name; Hell, even from the second I saw ya, it’s only been you. I would go to the ends of time or destroy an entire realm single handed, if it means you’ll always be mine; if you’ll always love me and stay by my side. Till my heart stops, it’s yours.” 

Feather light fingertips trailed down the side of your face to your jawline. His thumb reached up to wipe away a lone tear that you let slip at his words, as he wrapped his arm underneath your body, pulling you to him until you were completely flush to his body. His lips met yours softly, lovingly; sending electricity through your veins.

The rest of the afternoon, and part of the next day, was spent making up for lost time. 

And, as for what happened to S/N, aside from being publicly humiliated with her reputation in shambles, as it should be;  let’s just say you know a certain book worm of a demon who loves curses and hexes, especially minorly inconveniencing ones, that was willing to teach you a few new things. 

Who knows? Maybe she will enjoy finding crumbs in every pair of shoes or socks she will ever wear.

- fin -

~ taglist ~

@harujkookie

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@maybe-nott

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[indiee19]

Do Me A Favour

Alex Turner x reader

Summary: You and Alex break up, and you both think back on the night. Also, it's partially inspired by Do Me A Favour.

warnings: light swearing

word count: 2.6k

-Request from wattpad

A/N: I cried while writing this

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑ ✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

You looked down at the ground as you shut the trunk of your car, and you looked up at Alex for the last time that you would probably ever see him. He looked down as soon as you tried to make eye contact, couldn't do it, knew that it would only make things worse. You sighed and looked back down, walking over to the drivers side of the car, your Converse shoes untied.

Alex turned around and began to walk into his house, opening the door and turning around in the doorway, forcing a smile at you, and you forced one back, starting the car and pulling out of the driveway. As soon as you reached the end of the driveway, you burst into tears, letting out all the emotions that had built up inside of you over the last two days.

You felt awful for everything that had happened between you and Alex, thought that it was all your fault. But, it wasn't your fault, nor was it his. To be honest, it wasn't like you didn't see it coming, it had been inevitable for a while. And it all started with a small argument that you and Alex had had a few months ago, and then that was just the beginning of the end of yours and Alex's relationship.

But you thought that you and him could talk things out like you both always could, and up until two days ago you had, even though talking hardly worked. And two days ago was when everything came crashing down, and neither you or Alex could handle it anymore.

-

"Will you just calm down for a moment, love?" Alex said calmly. Another argument had happened, you don't know how, but the calm conversation you and Alex were having somehow got heated.

He had stayed out late with the guys again and you had no problem with that, but what got you upset was the fact that he didn't even tell you where he was until he had gotten home at two o'clock in the morning. You were worried sick whenever he didn't come home at eleven when he normally did and you had called him multiple times to which he never answered nor did he call you back. "Calm, Alex, clam? How the hell can I be calm whenever you were out until two o'clock in the goddamn morning? And you didn't even tell me where the hell you were," you said, raising your voice slightly at him.

Alex sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingers. "Of course," he said to himself. "It's all about me going out with the rest of the guys, isn't it?" he said aloud. You scoffed. "No, Alex it isn't. It's just the fact that you didn't even text me to let me know where you were. I was worried sick," you explained, raising your voice even more.

"God, love, I'm a fucking adult, I can go out whenever I want to," Alex said.

"I know, Alex, but can I not be worried about you?" you asked, on the verge of yelling at him.

"Jesus christ, love. Yes, of course you can, but you need to just stop worrying so much. What are you going to do when I go back on tour, call and text me every five minutes?" Alex replied. You tried to figure out what to say to that and even opened your mouth, but you quickly closed it. "No, Alex, I won't do that. I just want to make sure that you're okay ... and that..." you said, deciding at the very last minute that you wouldn't finish your sentence.

"That what? Make sure that I'm not cheating on you?" he said loudly. "Do you really think that I would do that to you?"

"Well, there has been rumors and pictures of you with girls being very comfy with each other," you said, saying the last part in almost a whisper.

"God, love, they're just some of my friends, I promise. And I mean, I have a life apart from fucking you," Alex said. As the last few words slipped out of his mouth he instantly regretted it. You were speechless, couldn't possibly believe that he had said that to your face. "Love, I-I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean it," Alex said, stuttering and and stumbling over his own words.

"You know what, Alex, forget it," you scoffed, walking away from him, going into the hallway, walking towards yours and Alex's bedroom. "Love, please listen to me," Alex said, following you to the bedroom.

You didn't say a word, just opened the bedroom door and tried to shut the door to stop him from getting inside the room, but he made it into the room with you. "Love, please, I'm sorry," he said, reaching for your forearm, and grabbing it for a moment but you quickly pulled it away. "Just leave me the fuck alone, Alex," you snapped. Alex's expression changed quickly from sorrow to anger and frustration.

"Well, be a bitch then," Alex said, annoyed with the fact the you wouldn't listen to him whatsoever. And that was it, what he called you just snapped you and you yelled at him. "You know what, fuck off, Alex." Tears welled up in your eyes. You'd had fights before, but you always talked them out and nothing ever ended with the words 'bitch' and 'fuck off.'

You wanted to apologize, but in that moment, you couldn't handle what he called you, so you yelled at him again, "Actually, you know what, perhaps 'fuck off' might be too kind," you said.

"Yeah, well if it's too kind then maybe we should break up," Alex said. You froze, not knowing what to do or what to say - and neither did Alex. It seemed as if he just said it in the heat of the moment - and he did. "Well, then maybe we should," you said, tears rolling down your cheeks. Then Alex froze, hadn't expected you to actually say that, and you never thought that you would say that either.

You inhaled and exhaled deeply. "I-I'll get a few things and go to my friends house, then I'll get the rest of my things later," you said after a very long moment of silence. "O-Okay, love," Alex said quietly, walking away to leave you alone, shutting the door behind him. As soon as he walked out and the door closed, you immediately burst into tears, and your mascara ran down your face.

It was a few minutes before you finally stopped crying at began to pack a bag with enough clothes for a one night stay at your friends, figuring that you'd come back in the morning - you didn't, but you also didn't know that yet. Once you packed your bag, you walked towards the door, turning around and looking at what was now once yours and Alex's bedroom, and then you walked downstairs, leaving. And Alex didn't tell you goodbye, more than likely in the guest room - alone and sad.

You left and went to your friends house. And as soon as you got there and reached the front door and knocked on it, you started to cry again and soon, your friend came to the door, seeing you in such an awful state. "Oh god, sweetie, what happened?" she asked, pulling inside and in for a hug.

"W-we broke up. Alex and I aren't together anymore," you said, your voice low and hard to understand because of your crying. your friend was used to this, used to you crying over him ever since you two started fighting, but nothing ever happened, you always went back home and cuddled up to him after a few hours, but now you couldn't do that anymore.

You and Alex had both made a mistake that you would regret later

-

And now, here you were, in your car, crying. You had no idea what to do and you felt like a piece of you was missing and you hated it. You just wanted everything to go back to normal, you wanted to be back with Alex, but everything between you and him was over, out the window if you will.

Your eyes were all red and it would be easy for anyone to tell if your had cried. As you cried more, tears fell onto the steering wheel. And was it only then when you began to wonder how Alex was, how he was coping, what he was doing. You let your mind wander, trying to think of a way that could have prevented this all from happening.

You tried to think of something but every time your mind just went back to the fact that you and Alex had stopped talking, and as much as you hated to admit it, it was true.  You figured that you two stopped talking because Alex was always working, always away on tour or at the studio, and you knew that he couldn't help it and that it was his job, but that didn't mean that you didn't want to spend time with him, and that was more than likely the cause for the arguments, the staying over at friends places after said arguments, and the most heart wrenching thing ever - the break up that happened between you and Alex.

More tears ran down your cheeks and you came to a halt at a stop light, bringing your hands up to wipe them away. You wanted all the pain and sorrow to go away and you wanted to turn the car around and go back to Alex, to cry to him and fall asleep in his arms, but you knew that wasn't an option. In fact, all the things that you wanted to do right now weren't options since they all involved going back to him.

You still loved him, goddammit. You hated that, and you knew that you shouldn't, but you two had been together for what felt like an entire lifetime now and what could you do, so many years of your life was with him. So many birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, everything. You inhaled and exhaled deeply, closing your eyes for just a moment. Though, a car honking snapped you out of it, and you noticed that the light was green and you quickly moved.

You had no idea where you were going now, had thought about going to your old apartment that you had never sold even though you always meant to and you were now grateful for that. So you turned right heading towards it. And then, it hit you. Neither you or Alex had told either of your family that you had broken up. How would you tell them? Your family loved him and his loved you, you had no idea how to break the news to them. And as you thought about it more and more, you eventually arrived at your old apartment.

You had moved in with Alex about two years ago - two years into your relationship, and you just left your apartment. You'd always meant to sell it, but never had the time to and now, now it came in handy. You left a couch and bed here, meaning to sell those too but once again, you never did.

You stopped the car and took the key out of the ignition and got out, getting a few things from the trunk, planning are getting more things later on in the morning and then you walked inside the apartment. Walking to your door, unlocking it with your key. And as soon as the door opened, you broke down again, feeling alone. You quickly walked inside and dropped your things, walking towards the couch and you laid down on it.

You were in despair and sorrow and you didn't know what to do. You still loved him, but you didn't know if he still felt the same.

-

Alex watched as you shut the trunk of your car, looking down at the ground when you tried to look him in the eyes and then you got in the drivers seat. Alex walked to the door, turning around in the doorframe, forcing a smile and you did the same.  And then you drove off and he watched as your car turned and disappeared around the bend and then he went inside.

The cold waft of air hit him immediately and he felt lonely. He walked around the house, trying not to remember all the time he spent with you in here. He wished that he could've stopped this all, made everything okay and wished that you and him could just go on with your relationship like normal, but that wasn't an option.

He hated himself for calling you a bitch and wished that he would've bit his tongue and wished that he would've listened to you instead of ignored you. He felt awful for starting the beginning of the end. Then he remembered another moment when he almost lost you that happened a month before.

-

As Alex walked through the door, you immediately got up from your seat in the family room and walked over to him, wanting an explanation. He'd, once again, gone out with his mates and never told you and to make it all worse, he'd have to leave in the morning for two weeks and promised to spend this entire evening with you - but, of course, that didn't happen.

"Oh, hey, sweetheart, is something wrong?" Alex asked, completely clueless.

"Uh, yeah actually, there is..." you said. "Can you please explain to me where you were because if I'm not mistaken, you promised that you would spend the entire day with me before you went away for two weeks."

He breathed in deeply and his eyes grew wider. "Oh, shit, love, I'm so sorry I forgot. I promise I'll make it up to you," he said, leaning in to kiss you. He kissed you lightly. "No you won't, Al. You never do anymore," you mumbled against his lips and he heard you.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, pulling away from you.

"Well, you haven't really made anything up to me for the past month even though you say that you will," you said. "I mean, you haven't really done anything for me, actually," you added.

"W-What the 'ell are you trying to say?" Alex asked, confused. "Are you trying to say that I'm an awful boyfriend?"

You shook your head no. He asked you once again and you shook head again. This argument was stupid and you both knew that, but you and Alex just couldn't help but argue.

And soon, the argument escalated and somehow ended up with you both yelling and soon you left and went to your friends house, but you did come back a few hours later. Once again, it was the beginning of the end.

-

Alex pushed that memory away and went to what was once yours and his shared room and he changed out of his jeans into a pair of sweatpants and then he laid down. The bed felt large and empty, and even though he knew that you weren't there, he still felt around the bed for you, tears welling up in his eyes when he let the fact that you weren't here sink in.

He let a few tears run down his face and he curled up into a ball, crying. He missed you more than you could've ever imagined, and he still loved you and wanted you back just as much as you loved him and wanted him back.

But, the end was officially here and nothing could ever change that.