#trying to speak german with everyone

[discofitta]

berlin has such good public transport i wish i was less stupid so it didn’t confuse me so much

[faaun]

the way that diff languages sound r so fascinating they're all different and all so vivid

[murphyslawyer]

why didn't that idiot just fucking kiss me in Rome? I think I'm going fucking crazy

[thenecropolix]

I'm just realizing now

Can you imagine the mild culture shock Milla and Sasha got from getting to know each other after they first met

Cause imagine their budding friendship and them noting the funny things they do in relation to their ethnicity

Like with Latin Americans/Hispanics being such chatterboxes and very touchy-feely and Sasha noting how easy Milla can strike up conversations for hours at a time (much to his introverted self's dismay)

I'm a little unfamiliar with specific German stereotypes, so someone correct me if I'm wrong or feel free to chime in, but I think I remember hearing that Germans are seen as punctual?? So imagine they meet up somewhere casually and their conceptions of time differ (of course they get to know each other well enough to be familiar with such quirks, but imagine Milla's initial surprise at how Sasha is always on time with meetings and the like)

Just like... them having certain quirks due to the influence of their respective cultures and learning about each other that way (which in turn could make for some awkward and funny scenarios from when they just met and were becoming friends for the first time)

[neatfrog]

love when people in my life think of me whenever they need language interpreting/translating and are like “hey do you speak [x] language?” and 90% of the time I do not know that particular language but I’m still very flattered they considered me

[icharchivist]

i understand the point people are making with those posts but it's always a bit funny to me when i see those posts about like "god people are so weird with how they talk about Japanese/Korean culture, imagine we do the same thing with Germany and suddenly start to drop German words into our sentences like that that'd be so weird" and it's like, yeah, i can imagine that, very well, that's what living in Europe in the late 2000s during the Tokio Hotel mania was like.

Like, unironically exactly like that.

I get the original point, i really do, but this might be the wrong example.

[setaflow]

I haven't gotten very far in Starfield yet but looking back it's kinda hilarious that I basically went to the character creator and I guess subconsciously decided "I'm gonna make her the exact opposite of my CP2077 character" right down to them having the exact opposite hair color.

[i-may-be-an-emu]

People be like "Sorry, English is not my first language so I might make mistakes!" And then proceed to speak/write with grammar more perfect than I could ever dream of

[fruitysoupy]

.

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

What you guys would be seeing if tumblr posted all my drafts tbh:

“Day three of my brother shouting at us because he saw something on the news over Christmas break”

But also

“If German is closer to English than English is to Norwegian then why is Norwegian so much easier to learn 🤨 things the government doesn’t want you to know about”

[prettybean]

WHAT THEY WOULD SAY DURING SEX (COD +18)

* I have a soft spot for Keegan, im sorry

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE

Ghost

“I know it's big”

“arch your back, just like that”

“Did you want this? Say it"

“Stick out your tongue or I won't give you anything”

“Such a whore, now you don't act like a brat in front of everyone anymore, huh?”

“Are you listening? open your fucking legs"

“Good girl, let everyone hear how much you love having my cock inside”

“An angel who wants to be fucked by me, how pathetic”

Soap

“Where’s my innocent girl?”

“Show me how much you want it”

“Fuck, you're so cute when you struggle to stay still”

"Use your words"

“Get on your fucking knees”

“You’re sucking it so good, baby, can you take it down your throat?"

“Do you want me to cum here? You want it? Do you want me to fill that pretty mouth?”

“You're all dirty, come here”

Price

“Look at you, always trying to flirt with the higher ranking ones”

“Lie down on my desk”

“You're so wet, did you need a spanking to make you behave?”

“Cum. Now."

“You're still so needy, even though I just fucked you”

“Look how much you came, you wet my uniform”

“Call me sir or I will have to punish you again”

“I fuck you harder, so you will show me some respect”

Gaz

“You belong to me, am I clear?”

“You acted like a brat, now you pay the consequences”

“You’re so pretty you are when you moan for me”

"I love you so much"

“You can give me another one, pretty girl”

“Be good for me, cum on my cock”

“Do you like it, sugar?”

“Don't lie, your wet pussy is begging for mercy”

Alejandro

“I knew you would be good while I was at work”

“Did you touch yourself?”

“You're so cute, keep begging me”

“This pussy is so good, mi amor”

“That’s it, legs around my face, just like that”

“Fuck, I had no idea you were so sensitive”

“Do you like my tongue?”

“Don't look at me like that or I won't stop eating your pussy”

Graves

“Keep riding me, don't you dare stop”

“Do you feel it? Do you feel how good my cock fills you?”

“You like being on top of me, don’t you?”

“I just said a word and you're already bouncing on my cock”

"What did you say? I can't understand with all those moans"

“Good, just like that”

“I told you not to tease me in front of Shadows”

“I know you were just being a brat because you want to get fucked.”

König

"Do not run away"

“God, you're so small I could break you”

"It's big? huh?”

“You can't even take my cock properly, look at you”

“Don't cry, I only put on the tip”

“You're so tight, I might go crazy”

“Stop moving, you have to take it all”

“I don't give a fuck if it doesn't fit, take my cock like a good whore”

* He tends to switch to speaking only in German when he loses control

Keegan

“My eyes are up here”

“You do what I say, if I want you to cum, you cum, whore”

“I noticed how you looked at those recruits, you wanted their dicks too, huh?“

“What's the matter, are you shy now?”

“Do you like being fucked like a whore? This is what you deserve."

"You do not talk anymore? You won't get anything if you don't tell me what you want."

“This is my girl, always greedy for my cum”

"You want to come? Then start counting”

—

pt 2

[watercolor-hearts]

.

[bumblebeesfromvenus]

Here are some German specific quirks I think König would have <3

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

(yes, I know he's Austrian, but the difference is really only that they talk funny and have better desserts)

♡ he HATES fans and air conditioning. Like I'm talking disdain from the deepest pits of hell kinda hate.

Ceiling fans and AC are not a thing here, and literally every German looks at it with a very disapproving look if there happens to be one somewhere.

König absolutely refuses to sleep with the fan or AC on, just open a window, Liebling!

He's so upset that he can't put the window "auf kipp" :( (pls Google it, it's so hard to explain lol) like he's crushed that he can't keep the windows "auf kipp" all day.

You have a ceiling fan? Nope, not anymore. That thing is getting taken down the minute you move in together. But if you insist on keeping it, he'll secretly cut the cable to the switch.

Everyone knows all they do is whirl around dust and make you sick! He's not having it.

König acts like artificial ventilation is his worst enemy (I agree with him) and he'd rather suffocate than turn on the goddamn AC.

♡ Sundays are strictly lazy/rest days. Nothing's open on Sundays here, so we're forced to relax and not run around like headless chickens trying to get things done.

He's absolutely baffled if you have plans to go somewhere on a Sunday. What do you mean you need to run errands? What do you mean you're going out? And if you want him to come along?? Yeah, no.

His brain stops working. After the many years he's been alive, not once has he gone somewhere on a Sunday that wasn't his Oma's house for Kaffee und Kuchen.

You're not going anywhere. Plans are canceled, and you better spend the day on the couch with him.

♡ König probably misses all the beautiful old architecture Vienna has to offer. You don't quite appreciate it as much when it's just there all the time, but now he wishes he could quietly people watch in the city center :(

In my mind he's a bit of a history nerd, so he probably frequented museums and castles, admiring the delicately sculpted ceilings and wondering how people lived back then.

He'd be most fascinated by the masonry work done on the outside of most buildings. I mean, that's stone, but it's so smooth and carefully crafted.

♡ there are some very weird sayings in German that you just can't translate because they don't make sense. König is sick of having to awkwardly try to explain what they mean after he's been caught muttering one under his breath, only to realize halfway through that he looks like a maniac.

German is a very literal language, and I think he misses speaking it. We have very specific words for some things and he probably struggles to talk in English sometimes purely because the words he wants to use just don't exist.

(I'm very upset they didn't give him an Austrian accent bc it's one of my favorites, but I can also confidently say that I think he wouldn't be taken seriously at all if he had one lmao)

♡ König goes on random ass walks sometimes. Where's he going? On a walk. No, like where is he going? HE'S GOING ON A WALK.

There's no destination, you just walk. No matter the weather. Ya walk until you feel like you've walked enough. (A very German experience and I hate it)

♡ dreams of his Oma's Kaiserschmarn (me too, König, me too.)

It's basically a giant pancake that you tear into little pieces (traditionally, it has raisins too, I think) and you eat with either cinnamon sugar or applesauce (or both) and you will drift up to heaven.

It's warm, it's fluffy, it's sweet;

It's perfect for a gloomy Friday afternoon spent with his Oma and Opa 🥺

(Can you tell that I'm projecting)

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

"Auf kipp" is a very specific window position where only the bottom two hinges stay attached so you can tilt the window towards you and a little crack is open so you can always have fresh air!

"Oma und Opa" grandma and grandpa, which he loves so much, undoubtedly.

"Kaffe und Kuchen" basically tea time. You get together and eat cake and have coffee! Mostly on the weekends :)

"Kaiserschmarn" what dreams are made of.

🩷

[meazalykov]

goosebumps

lena oberdorf x reader

summary: your girlfriend is super touchy.

"you know how I get those goosebumps every time, yea?"

bayern munich vs wolfsburg, one of the most exciting days in the women's bundesliga.

moving to bayern munich from chelsea in 2022, you were adjusted into your new life.

this meant that you were prepared on going against wolfsburg-- and you were prepared of playing against your girlfriend of two years-- lena.

your mutual best friend-- lea-- put the two of you onto each other, lena and you had many similarities that didn't go unnoticed between your peers.

being silly, sweet, dedicated, and motivated were the top four personality traits in the both of you.

overly competitive is another.

during the rivalry game, you had the ball and were going to pass down to sydney. before your foot went to tap the ball, lena's body side tackled you-- which caused you to trip onto the ground.

you were not hurt, but you were concerned about wolfsburg aggressive approach this game.

staying on the ground, you clenched your teeth as you held your ankle.

lena stood up in horror, before she realized that you were trying to get her carded.

the german noticed how relaxed you looked, in comparison to times when you were injured. she looks over at popp and shakes her head before walking over to you.

you told the ref that you're fine to play and stood up to be checked into the game again. looking over at lena, she shakes her head with a smirk-- which caused you to give her one back.

a minute later, she was behind you when a corner kick was being taken for bayern-- conceded by wolfsburg.

"you know-- your acting might be believable to them, but not to me." lena whispered.

you rolled your eyes, playfully, before speaking--

"as longs the ref believes it, I'm calm." you say as you move forward to receive a possible header from your teammate.

suddenly, you felt a pair of hands holding onto your waist tightly-- and the familiar body of your girlfriend pressed against your back.

"your ass looks so good in those shorts, too bad its in the wrong color." lena whispers in german.

this time, you rolled your eyes seriously as you jump up to get the header. unfortunately, the ball was too high.

a wolfsburg defender conceded a corner kick again, so you were set to try and head the ball once again.

"do you think you're getting away from me?" lena asks, licking her lips but still paying attention to the game in hand.

"lena we are in a middle of a game." you scoff.

lena is very touchy, you are obsessed with it, but you were surprised that she would do it to distract you in a match.

"I am aware." lena blows on the back of your neck, goosebumps immediately appeared.

thirty minutes later at the end of the game, it was a draw between the red and green. 2-2.

by the locker rooms, in the privacy away from fans and cameras, you saw your girlfriend and gave her a wave.

you assumed that she was busy with her teammates so you didn't want to disrupt her.

however, lena waves her hand for you to come over to her.

your face showed a look of content and joy as lena wrapped your body with her strong arms-- her right arm holding your waist and her left arm around the back of your neck.

she kisses your temple a few times before moving down to kiss your lips.

you forced yourself to pull away and look at your german girlfriend with a smirk,

"well, neither of us won today." you comment in a low voice.

"yes but don't get too excited, we will crush bayern next time." lena's hands move up and down your waist softly as you scoff.

"what other methods are you going to use next time?" you ask, your arms going to smooth lena's freshly washed hair as her eyebrows knitted together.

"huh?"

"I thought your touches and comments on the pitch was a tactic to prevent me from getting a hat-trick after my second goal." you say as the taller girl is rubbing your back now, under your shirt.

luckily, everyone was in the locker rooms or already headed out to go home (or on the bus for the bayern girls).

"no not really, you're irresistible." lena smirks, leaning her head back on the wall as you gave her another kiss.

"same goes for you--i'm coming over tonight, so I'll see you later oberdorf." you smirk before exiting her arms, walking away as she watched you with desire.

<3

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

So this is a weird ask but I figured an Actual Welsh Person would be the person to go to, and you've been pretty gung-ho about the language thing. So I hope I'm not bothering you with this.

Is there a cultural consensus on foreigners learning Welsh? I'm American and I don't have a single shred of Welsh ancestry. My family is historically German, and we've been here since the English Colony days, so it honestly seems really weird even to try to claim some tie to German heritage.

Anyway, my point is, I have absolutely zero legitimate claim to the Welsh language. I don't plan to travel to Wales in the foreseeable future. I have no reason to learn Welsh except that it sounds pretty and I enjoy a challenge.

Putting aside the issue of "lmao it's gonna be stupid difficult to learn an endangered language if you don't have anyone to speak it with" (I have a loose plan for dealing with that, and the experience of learning two languages to "can read most novels without needing the dictionary" level without anyone to speak them with in person already) entirely, do you reckon it's okay for me to study Welsh? I know Americans are really, really bad about just kinda assuming the whole world belongs to us, and I'm trying not to do that here. Especially because Welsh IS endangered.

I imagine your average Welsh person probably doesn't care what some random American does. But like, for people who care about the language...Would it be considered disrespectful or overstepping for me to study it? I don't expect you to speak for the entire country, of course, but I respect your opinion and I feel like you'd have a grasp on what the general feeling towards a foreigner like me might be.

Thanks for your time.

I honestly, truly, do not understand how the discussion around cultural appropriation has been twisted in the cultural zeitgeist to such an extent that people now feel anxiety about learning other languages.

This is not a personal attack on you, Anon - the gods only know that you clearly care and want to do the right thing, and that's beautiful and wonderful and also I will come back to extolling your personal virtues at the end of this post, so stay tuned. But I do want to take a moment here to talk about the broader issue at play, which I have seen echoed multiple times elsewhere, because fuck me what are we doing to ourselves.

Learn. Languages.

That is what languages are for! To be used for communication. If you don't learn languages, you are forcing everyone else to use yours. How have we somehow, as a culture, twisted that into being the less selfish option? How have we done that? I posted my favourite Welsh idiom recently, and someone reblogged it and wrote in the tags that they loved the idiom and would start using it, but they would do so in English because their "Welsh pronunciation would make their Welsh grandmother spin in her grave."

What kind of mental gymnastics is that?

How the fuck do you twist it so badly that you think taking a Welsh idiom for your own and exclusively using it in English is less offensive than saying it in Welsh but maybe a bit wrong? I've literally had people proclaim to me that they're learning Welsh on Duolingo but they never speak it because they're too self-conscious, and they tell me this not to highlight a massive flaw in themselves that they need to work on, but as though I'm supposed to pat them on the head and thank them for... still making me speak English to them.

There was that post where a Deaf blogger received an anonymous ask saying learning sign language is cultural appropriation, as though Deaf people haven't been calling for Sign to be taught in schools. As though a Deaf person being entirely isolated in everyday hearing society unless they have an interpreter with them is less offensive than a hearing person being able to use BSL.

Like, these are not sacred or religious languages. The purpose of Welsh or BSL or what have you is not to perform the Eleusinian mysteries. It's a living everyday language, same as English -

Except it's not the same as English. As Anon here so rightly points out, Welsh is endangered. That means we are desperate for people to learn it. That's how it will survive. That's how we reversed it from 'dying language' to 'living language', in fact - we managed to get lots of people to learn it. You know what is a threat, though? People not learning it because, like poor Anon here, they've been somehow convinced by Western society that you're only allowed to learn languages if you personally have a historic or cultural connection to them that you can prove via six forms of ID and a letter of recommendation from a druid. Or people never using it because they're too embarrassed to try and risk losing face by getting it wrong, or maybe sounding a bit silly, and thus forcing us to use English anyway. Those are threats.

Anon. Listen to me, feel the sincerity of my words: we adore you. We adore you. You cannot imagine how appreciated it is when someone learns Welsh. You cannot imagine how touched we are that you wanted to, that you tried, that you respected us enough and considered us valid enough that you made the effort. Our closest neighbours are the very people who are still trying to stamp out Welsh to this very day. Do you know the number 1 reaction I get, by a country mile, when I tell English people that I speak Welsh? It's some variant on a scoff, and the sentiment "Why? What's the point? Bit useless, isn't it?"

By a country mile. That's the reaction I expect, and brace for, and is overwhelmingly what I get.

So when someone who isn't Welsh actually chooses to learn Welsh?

Imagine what that feels like! To go from not-even-hidden disgust, from outright mockery and often active suppression campaigns, to a foreigner earnestly telling me that they love and respect my language so much they're trying to learn it. Imagine how that feels.

Please learn Welsh. Please learn it. We will love you for it. We will build you a statue. We will bake little Welshcakes with your face on in icing sugar. We will write you poems in complex rhyme. We'll name an Eisteddfod prize after you. We'll name at least, like, three sheep after you. Thank you, thank you so much for even wanting to learn. You're a delight and a marvel and a wonder. Your hair looks great today, as it does all days. You're a strong, independent human being of immense wisdom and compassion. If this were a Welsh myth you'd be a wise salmon the heroes came to for advice. What a fantastic human.

The welcome awaits if you choose to learn

[jamiesansible]

I’m sure everyone remembers the article from 2020 where researches found three-ply cordage made by Neanderthals.^

But did you know that in the supplemental material for the article, it mentions that pine needles can be made into textiles?^^ As someone who works with textiles myself, I had come across pine needles as a dye stuff, but not as a fibre.

The source is listed as "L’acquisition des matières textiles d’origine végétale en Préhistoire" by Fabinne Médard. It talks about how other fibres, including brambles and broom could have been used prehistorically for a similar purpose, as well as flax. However, it contains only one metion of pine needles.

“Les aiguilles du pin sylvestre (Pinus sylvestris L.) fournissaient, après rouissage, une matière textile appelée « laine des forêts » qui remplaçait la ouate et l’étoupe dont on faisait également des tissus (Mathieu [1858] 1897)" * The needles of the Scots pine (Pinus sylvestris L.) provided, after retting, a textile material called “forest wool” which replaced wadding and tow from which fabrics were also made.

So Scots pine needles were processed, spun and woven, or simply used directly after processing, potentially prehistorically.

If you follow the source for the quote above, it takes you to a book from 1860 called Flore forestière; description et histoire des végétaux ligneux qui croissent spontanément en France et des essences importantes de l'Algérie. It says:

“On fabrique depuis quelques années, avec les faisceaux fibreux, allongés, et tenaces des aiguilles, une espèce de drap grossier.” ** For several years, we have been making a kind of coarse cloth using the fibrous, elongated and stiff bundles of the needles.

So this processing of pine needles was also happening in the 1800s.

Another souce from the 1840s describes the texture of forest wool as resembling "...horsehair, and has been used for stuffing mattresses"** and that an industry sprung up in Humboldtsau, near Breslau for processing it. Manufacturies for forest wool then spread to Sweden, Holland and France, which may explain the mention in the 1860 Flore forestière.

Despite looking a bit more, but couldn't find much else on the subject expect a recent masters thesis in German (which I couldn't access) and an article on the designer Tamara Orjola.

Orjola's work investigates the modern use of pine needle fabric, showing there is still interest in it. She says:

"Forest Wool began with research on the forgotten value of plants. Valuable local materials and techniques are left behind due to the unwillingness of mass-production to adopt more sustainable practices. In the old days the pine tree was used as food, remedies, to build homes and furniture and for many other purposes. Nowadays, it is only valuable for its timber." ***

I find the line from prehistory to now facinating - that people have looked to something as mundane as a pine needle to spin, especially as researchers are discovering a lot of what they thought was linen fabric is actually ramie (from nettles).

As far as I can tell, only Pinus sylvestris L. and one other variety was used. I am not sure what makes that tree more suitable than other pine trees, or if it was simply a question of availability. In terms of processing, the answer as far as I can tell is retting, presumably followed by scutching and hackling - similar to how flax is processed. However I have not done that myself and cannot speak to the specifics.

It would be something intresting to try though.

________

^ https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-020-61839-w#MOESM1

^^ https://static-content.springer.com/esm/art%3A10.1038%2Fs41598-020-61839-w/MediaObjects/41598_2020_61839_MOESM1_ESM.pdf

* https://journals.openedition.org/nda/602

** https://www.proquest.com/openview/276605d708970d416923b94e8856d20b/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=41445

*** https://lampoonmagazine.com/article/2021/05/15/recycled-wood-pine-needles-byproduct/