#tumblr also feels very dead these days is it just me?

[babyitsgayoutside]

I went viral on instagram for being a Pro-shipper

Before I even knew what a pro-shipper was.

Around this time last year I had just gotten back to the states from being in Japan for 3-ish months. I posted a reel jokingly showing off some of the BL Manga that I had bought during my stay.

In the video I showed Volume one of Yarachin Slut club and volume one of Hitorijime, my hero.

If you don’t know these series. Yarachin is about a group of boys who run a high school sex club it also has various degrees of dubcon and gang rape. The other deposits an age gap relationship teacher/student.

The reel where I showed these manga went viral on the wrong side of the internet and In 2 months my instagram received over 80,000,000 views across all my reels and I’m averaging at this current moment 10-20,000,000 views a month.

the comments I was receiving and have been receiving since are beyond words.

Some examples of what the more tame comments

And if you think the comments are bad (not shown are the hundreds of comments telling me I’m not trans or gay, that I’m a cis woman pretending to be queer to garner support from the queer community, misgendering and deadnaming me, threading to dox me/send my address/personal info to people via DMs. Not to mention the newest group of people who found out I have a dead sibling and are using that as a way to attack me now as well. My DMs are also terrible.

These people are mad about two volumes of manga. Manga I bought in a brick and mortar store in Japan. Manga that have official anime adaptations.

They are calling a manga you can currently buy at Barnes and Nobel child p*rn and calling me a p*dip hole becuase i own it.

I don’t know what the point of this post is really, I’ve come back to tumblr and realize the entire internet does not in fact hate me, and people on here actually can logically think about things like this not in black and white.

Am I a pro shipper?

I’ve heard if the term, I’ve seen it around and always thought It was for extreme niche interests in fanfic, fictional media and general fictional content that I don’t particularly find myself reading or interacting with ever.

But then I looked into it after being called it 1000000 times a day on my social media and I relaxed it’s not about normalizing incestfics or spreading niche fan art around tags like antis would have you believe. At the end of the day it’s a group of people online with a very punk aligned mentality that censorship is wrong. Fiction is a place for self expression and understand that fiction is fiction. It’s not about individual tags on a03 or black butler ships. It’s about the freedom to express yourself thought fucking fiction. Weather it be to cope with trauma, or to just get some fucking weird feelings you are having out on paper through fanfciton, through projecting into a character from media you like.

I’m not big with labels, so I’m not a “proshipper” but I’m on their side, because it’s the right side.

You can argue all you want it’s not, that they are “horrible people” for the fictional media they consume. But the opposite side is literally telling me to “slit vertically” on a daily basis. You are no better than the people you hate.

Anywho, yeah. Going viral sucks.

[chateautae]

Have you given up on this tumblr?

Yes I completely have Anon 😍 KIDDINGGG I mean a) the tone of this ask isn’t very cute, a bit mean! but b) nope I check in time to time and write whenever I can still, life has just been nothing but craziness. For context to everyone that’s been sending me messages asking how I’m doing, I’m taking the LSAT in like 2 weeks!! Wtf!! I’m nervous but I’ve been studying y’all let’s hope I’m bound for law school 📚

[front-facing-pokemon]

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @jdebbiel

Deb JJ Lee is a non-binary Korean artist based in Brooklyn, NY. They have appeared in the New Yorker, New York Times, NPR, Google, Radiolab, and more. Their award-winning graphic memoir, IN LIMBO, about mental illness and difficult relationships with trauma, released in March 2023 from First Second.

Below is our interview with Deb!

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

That implies I am over my art block, but I’m still in it! I think about Kiki’s Delivery Service a lot and how she had to stop doing a thing, and that you can’t really force it, and you have to let it come back to you. It’s a pretty humbling moment, realizing there is more to life than just drawing. I’ve been trying to consume other content like reading or watching movies—anything that is not drawing-related—and to trust that it will come back to me. I think not being afraid to do the small pieces before committing to the big pieces is helpful. Because big pieces are what I am known for, I dig myself into a deeper hole, thinking that each piece has to be bigger than the last one. So yeah! Relaxing and doing the small things before overcommitting to a big piece is the best way to go about it for me.

Which 3 famous artists (dead or alive) would you invite to your dinner party?

I feel like these are all artists that I have second-degree connections with! Jillian Tamaki, Victo Ngai, and Tillie Walden would be my picks!

What are your file name conventions?

…What file name conventions? I mean, I don’t have specific file name conventions, but I actually have a public Google Drive archive! But I usually put “djjl_whatever-the-title-is_final,” and I would always know it’s the final and legit version.

What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

I did an illustration for the whiskey brand Johnnie Walker. It’s so wild because I only had four days to finish it, and it usually takes me a week and a half if I rush. And honestly, it’s probably one of my best pieces from this year, which is funny. It was for the Mid-Autumn festival, so I made it as Korean as possible.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

I only use my iPad to draw everything now, and if I want to pretend that I have a steady workstation, I’ll use my Cintiq. I still am not as comfortable on the Cintiq as I am on Procreate, but it’s still pretty solid and nice. That’s the good part about technology. The bad part about technology is how AI art has been messing things up for me. I’m currently in a lawsuit about AI art as a class rep. Some of my stuff got turned into AI art late last year, so I have to give a deposition at some point. 

What is a convention experience that has stuck with you?

Honestly, they’re all good! I feel like Lightbox Expo has been really nice because it’s truly been a convention for artists. I feel like that’s where most of my audience is, and they’re all around because their purpose is to be better at art. That’s where a lot of original artists do well because they’re getting art they’re inspired by, not so much fanart. I like the Lightbox Expo because it encompasses the pure love of art very well. 

Top tips on setting up an Artist Alley booth?

Use a Y axis, not just your X axis! Take advantage of it! Branding is also something to think about. It is definitely something I’m getting better at. Having an assistant is also very important. I’ve also heard that 8.5x11 to 12x18 inches is usually a good size for prints, but I also provide postcard-sized prints because sometimes people don’t want to commit to a larger size. 

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

You know this is so funny. I’ve been following @alicexz for over a decade on Tumblr and other platforms. I’ve followed her work since high school, and we’ve only recently become peers. I found her, and we met for the first time in real life, and she recognized me. And then I found all my drawings from when I was in my Alice phase, back in high school, and I was like, “Yo, this is when I was trying to be you so badly!” and she was cracking up and was like “Wow, this is so good!” It was such a sweet moment. I wanted to take a picture of her holding my drawing up. It’s really nice because now we’re peers.

Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Deb! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @jdebbiel.

[bet-on-me-13]

Danny runs for Mayor P.2

kgned3Part 1

Some more snippets of the Gotham Mayor Danny AU!

...

Danny would absolutely try to hire some of the Rouges as his Mayoral Cabinet, I can just imagine Waylon Jones, the Killer Croc, in a Suit and Slacks sitting in a the Mayors Office while awkwardly holding his resume.

Danny: So, Mr. Jones, why do you think we should hire you? Waylon: Well sir, I have something of a reputation and I feel like I would be an amazing Bodyguard. Danny: OK, one question though. What is your opinion on Clowns? Waylon: I don’t like them. Danny: Hired!

...

Danny: Now, Mr Nygma, what do you think you would bring to my office? Edward: Well sir, I am fairly well known for my expert planning and timing skills. Also I can give you fun riddles whenever you want! Danny: Hmmm, that’s definitely a good point. One question, if needed, will you attack a clown on sight? Edward: Yes? Danny: Hired!

...

Danny: Now, I can see that you used to have a very reputable resume Mr. Dent. Harvey: Thank you sir. Danny: I can’t see any reason to refuse your application, but I do have one question. Do you like Clowns? Harvey: Uhm...yes? Danny: I am sorry dir, but I am going to have to reject your application for a job in the Mayors office. Mr Jones, please escort this man out 

...

Danny would absolutely do an amazing job in decreasing the crime rate, just by virtue of the fact that his very presence is destabilizing the Curses put on the City.

But at the same time, his policies are also very efficient, based on Gen Z Humor/Ideas

Danny: As my new Law states, every year the most rich person in the City will be forced to give up 70% of their assets to Charity. You can avoid this by donating as much as possible in the weeks leading up to the Sacrifice Day, whoever donates the most is exempt from the choosing even if they are the Richest, we will then move on to the second Richest, and so on Reporter: Sir, isn’t this just the “Winner Of Capitalisms” Prompt from Tumblr? Danny: Yes.

...

Batman: Why did you just pass a Law that states that all Vigilantes are given the right to kill? Danny: Because I accidentally hired every villain in Gotham, so now there is nobody to try and bribe me. And if nobody tries to bribe me, then nobody realizes that I will only accept bribes if the Joker is dead, like I said in my Campaign. I know that you guys have a no-kill rule, but I know at least one of you who would jump at the chance  Batman: *realizes that Dick has already killed the Joker once, Jason is actively attempting to every day, Tim is chaos incarnate and would do it to feel included, and Damian just really wants to let loose* Well played...

...

Danny: Vlad, I am serious. Leave me alone or I will put you in Soup Jail for 3 months! Vlad: FINE! I’ll just go possess another Billionaire to force them to give me their company again Batman, listening from outside the window: What the f-

...

Danny in every conversation with the Batfamily: I re-respect your decision to not tak-take a life...but I must insist you kill the Joker...for the good of the peephol-People! He is not a good inf-influence on this city and he must be des...troyed. Batman: *Wondering why he sounds like he is reading from a script* Um, I don’t think thats a good idea? Lady Gotham: *Standing behind Batman with some Cue Cards, trying to communicate with her Knights through Danny* *Thumbs Up* Danny: Also I wanted to say that you need to- oh um, ok- to get over the deaths of your parents and grieve in a healthy way instead of adopting every child you see. You are doing a great job kid, parentheses, do not read this par- Oh-Oops. Batman: Hm. I’m not even going to question that anymore.

...

Tag List:

@skulld3mort-1fan @kgne-k @deatlive @alcorbearson @we-ezer @auralykos @dakkapel @alinmenttreasure @lord-of-0blivion @countessdragon @naluforever3 @fylylowo @shadow-otaku20 @dannyphantomphan @heirxofxtime @ourrechte-blog @fantasticbluebirdfan @imnotgrimmjustagrumpyreader @mssagoberattare @elvesandlanterns @space-dreams-world @lizz-blizt @stargirl1331 @totallysmores-blog @screamingtofillthevoid @malice-of-the-sunrise @olivethetreebitch @addie-lover-of-stories @thatonegaybitch68 @asphyxia778 @top7879 @biance-hooks123 @runfromthemedic @dionysuss-big-naturals @the-legal-shipper @icepopstar5105us @

[just-more-pr0mts]

You have probably seen all the aus like danny gets adopted by batfam, Danny as damiens twin/older brother, Danny dating a member of the batfam, Danny part of the justice league, Danny as a gotham superhero and more.

But have we seen Danny Fenton as Batman.

Danny Fenton who was taken in by the original Wayne family, with Marta and Thomas Wayne. Taken in when Martha was not yet pregnant. They treated him as their own and raised him as such. When they discover that Martha is pregnant and go out to celebrate. When they take a short cut and danny is just a few seconds too late to save them.

The boy who lost his parents when he failed to stop Dan and for all he knows his sister is dead gone. Who was lost in the infinite realms for so long. Who got stuck in a foul city where the weak are crushed so only the strong prevail.

Danny, Who stumbled into the warm arms of the Wayne family. Who slowly opened up to them. Who never used his powers so he could have a shred of normalcy with them. Who realized they loved and cared for him as thier own. Danny who accepted he loved them in turn. Danny,the boy who lost another set of parents on one fateful eve.

Danny who lost-

Danny who

Danny

Bruce.

Bruce who takes in these lost stray children because he wants to look after them. But he doesn't know how to because he never had a normal childhood.

Bruce who puts up a front to protect himself as well as his family. Who lies to face of powerful beings to protect his family. Bruce who trains long and hard to protect his family from said beings, so much so that he ends up locking away his emotions, so that his children don't have to loose another parent -not knowing that they already had so long ago

Bruce who's so proud of his children, but just doesn't know how to show it. Who is so scared, so terrified they might fight the same battles as him...or something even worse.

BRUCE WHO WANTS to kill the joker. Who wants to hurt him like he hurt his CHILD and leave him there to die, but he knows better than that... he knows what a cruel joke it would be, the irony. He knows that it will just more horrible things to his children knowing they'll never be able to stop him. That's why he brought him back.

Bruce who as much as he tries is always two steps behind.

And now when his new dimension is at stake because of the very beings he left behind, he must choose between the life that he built for himself here or the one that he left behind.

A carefully weighted scale. With the future on the horizon, and choices to be made.

Will the scale stay true or will the choices made unbalance it all.

________

Hii my beautiful creatures of the day and night.

I sorta forgot about tumblr but if you like this piece let me know! Also I love hearing how I can improve and make my writing better.

Ps. If you have any suggestions on what I should write about feel free to ask! I'm so excited to hear about it

Ps.ps. if you have any cosplay blogs dm me! I'm trying to get into cosplau

[kaeyacollection]

Who's ready for my Master Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Crepus Theory!!

I originally posted this over at Hoyolab and people there seemed to really like my favorite joke theory that Crepus just tries to gaslight the whole of Mondstadt right after obtaining Kaeya

Majority of this will be the same but with little tweaks for the wonderful tumblr audience

This joke stems from Kaeya's introduction:

and the use of the word "rumored"

Cause it's not like it said beyond Teyvat or the seven nations just Mondstadt

And I mean like c'mon how many families are living off the grid in Mondstadt

(Actually... Don't answer that I forgot Glory's boyfriend is just

Out there in the bush with Razor...)

Initially I had the idea of Crepus walking around the markets one day carrying Kaeya with Diluc beside him running into Varka who asks:

"Who's the boy?"

"You mean my son?"

"Not Diluc the boy you're carrying"

"I have two sons? You know this??"

But then the Caribert quest came out mentioning Kaeya ran away from home near immediately and was dragged home by Crepus just as fast and it became even funnier

Cause imagine you're by the docks one day and richest man in town gets off the boat with no cargo but instead a tiny child you may not have seen before that Crepus seems to be very cross with at the moment and threatening to turn him into a leash kid if he runs off again

In a small town that loves gossip do you know how fast that information is spreading? Cause I do and Varka's knocking on Crepus's door 30 minutes later like:

"Is this what we're doing? We're just taking kids now?"

Both paths lead to Varka asking where Kaeya comes from and getting hit with a

"I think you're a bit too old to still be confused about the birds and the bees Varka"

Varka getting frustrated to the point he just starts demanding Kaeya tell him what's up

Love to see him following in his fathers footsteps of stressing Varka the fuck out

And upon hearing how his birth father left for juice and didn't return Varka went

"Good! That was ALL I needed to know!!"

Follow ups on if his father intended to abandon him or got lost in the storm and needed a search party?

Don't care!! You weren't kidnapped!!

Welcome to the knights! 🤝

Which bringing it back to it only being a rumor

In a town of alcoholics, who's gonna call out the one guy with the winery?

Here's some add ons that got sparked from the comment section 😘

Bonus panels would have included Varka showing up with Rosaria one day mimicking Crepus about "wHaT you ForGot I haD a Kid" sparking a trend within the community of just adopting random children to the point posters are made saying "In Barbatos name: See a child Take a child"

Alice seeing it and pulling a "when in rome" tucking both Albedo and Diluc(who is yelling he is an adult) under her arms and telling Klee if she ever sees someone in need of a mom let her know she'll send over the paperwork right away

And then the last bonus: Venti wakes up, walks in through the gate while playing a tune, and stops when he sees the poster, not sure if he needs to start yet another revolution, or if this one is fine actually

I imagine the posters had to be taken down because visitors were losing their kids left and right and the solution of parents pinning a note saying "not dead & still want custody" to their kids shirt didn't catch on but the saying still lives strong in the hearts of Mondstadt's citizens I mean look Bennett and his 27 dads Mondstadt may have a lot of orphans but the demand is even higher

Comment on original post:

"I have a headcanon where Kaeya fooled first Crepus, then the rest of Mondstadt but.this is too funny!! I want to see this happening!"

Which prompted one of my new favorite lines at the end:

"Wait by fool Crepus first do you mean like Crepus finding him out in the storm bringing him inside to ask him where he lives and Kaeya's just

"? I live here? You adopted me? Are you feeling okay?"

Cause I'm absolutely cry laughing over this that's so good but that also means when Kaeya runs away Crepus is just

"hey no no l'm not misplacing you a second time come home" "

[gemsofgreece]

You really should know about Storm "Daniel"

Unlike how much all of us Greek blogs notify our tumblr communities about the regular (at this point) arsons wildfires afflicting Greece, we did not say much about the floods the country has been suffering from right now. There was a mention here and there and I even made a joke post as the storm was starting but not a lot of stuff in general. So, I think there's a couple of things you should know and I feel like I could address about it and actually it's not just about Greece. So I believe this could interest a lot of people and it should be something known worldwide.

In the beginning of September there was an alarm about an extreme weather phenomenon forming above the Ionian Sea at the west of mainland Greece. In truth, the phenomenon was not caused by the climate change. It was just a very rare occurence where a high pressure atmosheric system was sandwiched between two currents of low pressure. Low pressure systems are the ones resposible for stormy weather while high pressure systems generally create stable weather. As the low currents encircled the high pressure system, the storm that had started forming became unusually stable for a storm. As a result, the storm moved northeast above Thessaly and other regions of the central part of Greece and... just decided to stay there for an indefinite amount of time. Furthermore, because it's September and the Ionian Sea had warmed up throughout the summer, the medicane (Mediterranean cyclone) gained tropical features as it was forming, pushing its intensity to extremes unknown to this area.

The storm remained above all of central Greece for about 4-5 days but at the meantime it was causing side-storms in neighbouring countries, such as Bulgaria and Turkey. Both countries suffered from floods causing damages and deaths.

Istanbul, Turkey (CNN).

Tsarevo, Bulgaria (CNN).

Four people died in Bulgaria and seven in Turkey.

But like I told you the core of this was exactly on top of Greece's central mainland and islands. So what happened there? I happened to experience this shit first hand. My recollection of it is that it was unlike any other storm I had experienced before. My knowledge on meteorology is not very advanced, however I believe due to the high pressure part, there were actually no winds at all - or they were insignificant, so it wasn't like what you might have in mind as a conventional cyclone. It was a rainstorm but it was like a rainstorm from hell. The crucial part is that in Greece summer violent rainstorms may last for about five minutes but certainly not for five days nonstop. There was no pause, not even for a second. It kept pouring and pouring in indescribable volumes, without decreasing or slowing down, not for a moment. The fourth day it started taking short breaks.

As a person with a phobia of lightnings since childhood, I kept wearing earplugs throughout all these days. For four days, ten seconds did not pass without at least one lightning shrieking exactly on top of our heads. In the end, I am dead serious, I think my lifelong phobia has been cured somewhat due to this extreme exposure that eventually had a numbing effect. I think only the first day there was a record of 7,000 lightnings. I believe there must have been dozens of thousands overall. The lightnings also caused fires but the downpour was so overwhelming no fire could ever stand a chance.

Whether during or after the rains, what I was seeing outside was post-apocalyptic. The only thing missing was the zombies. It really looked like a background from a videogame, including a constantly lit up sky. I was not in danger though people dear to me were. The worst for me was a huge fall in the quality of living but that doesn't matter. The rains caused severe destructions across cities and villages. They caused floods, they broke bridges, they broke a massive number of roads, they made walls collapse, they destroyed springs, they damaged water and electricity outlets entirely, they drowned flocks and flocks of animals, they destroyed mountainous and coastal villages alike, they made cars float and fly over each other and they uprooted houses.

Village in Mount Pelion, Greece.

But that's not the end of it. Four days later, the storm moved southwest towards the Ionian sea, basically to the place of its original formation. It side-swept over Athens in the meantime, flooding the city, but that doesn't mean much since I could cry and Athens would still flood with my tears. Anyway. AFTER the storm left, the floods caused by it started multiplying and expanding. Picture that: a crystal clear sky, a bright sun and your phone screaming state alerts about evacuating your village or town because a lake has launched at you! Here's the thing: Thessaly is a massive plain surrounded by a ring of mountains. Half of those downpours fell right on the lowlands causing floods and destructions the first days. The other half however fell on the mountains, filled the streams heading down and they all met up and filled the lakes and the large river of Thessaly, Pineios and they all basically exploded the next days. Pineios especially exploded both in its western and eastern part, sinking the entirety of Thessaly's plains under water. As a result, floods were actively taking place days after the storm had ended and the weather was good. The phenomena have only started subduing since yesterday.

The overflowing of the river, trapped by the mountains.

Farmers won't be able to work this year and next year is questionable as well. There are huge concerns about various epidemics breaking out as more and more dead animals are found in the waters. Entire villages are under the water. There are estimations that some villages in west Thessaly might have been lost forever and their residents will have to move elsewhere. Sixteen people have died from the rainstorm and the floods.

Actual villages in Karditsa, Greece.

A more longterm danger is that the ground received such an unnatural amount of water that it might have been severely eroded and destablised, making it vulnerable to natural disasters I don't want to utter. Many roads are either broken or bloated and Thessaly has been cut out from communication and transportation with the rest of the country. To this day, there are maps guiding people how to drive from North to South Greece and vice versa by entirely skipping Central Greece! (Hint: they will have to drive through Epirus, aka western Greece.) The first days there was also complete isolation from what was happening in the country and the world and also the very regions we were in as we had no electricity and our only chance was getting a call from somebody being elsewhere and telling us what is going on.

Volos, Greece (CNN)

Many regions have received within 2-4 days 55 times their monthly amount of rain or more than twice the yearly amount. Greek meteorologist Christos Zerefos estimated that such a phenomenon occurs every 300-400 years. Meteorologists were alarmed internationally - with Germans and Americans reportedly saying they hadn't studied such a phenomenon again in their career. Its intensity was record high in the history of Greece and right in the top of Europe's as well. They also agreed that such a phenomenon would be devastating even if it had hit the most advanced and prepared country.

BUT THIS IS NOT THE END. The weakened Daniel seemed to slowly move towards South Italy but it decided to take a turn and headed south towards Libya and Egypt. Quite possibly, as the storm was once again travelling across the warm Mediterranean Sea, it was rejuvenated and gained even more tropical traits. Eventually, the medicane hit Libya with unprecedented force.

The cyclone travelling from Greece to Libya.

The toll it took on Libya is unspeakable. As I am writing this,

More than 5,226 people are killed and more than 10,000 are currently missing.

Like, can you wrap your head around what I am talking about? I don't see this shit being acknowledged enough across the world. I am checking this again and again, to ensure I am reading this correctly.

Daniel has officially become the deadliest medicane on record.

Eastern Libya, from Al Jazeera.

In the meantime, Greeks found opportunities to practice their favourite sport: political infighting. People who weren't even here when hell broke loose say that if this or that was properly done, we would not have problems at all. I even saw an idiotic Greek expat comment how "we got drowned in a little bit of rain". The truth is we should bloody thank our lucky stars and I say this with the entire awareness of half of Thessaly being currently underwater. It is true that Greek governments and people have done so many things badly, like building on top of streams and rivers, changing rivers' natural route, drying up natural lakes and all that shit that guarantees you are going to have massive problems once a serious storm breaks out. Also, the disaster revealed that there was once more a very questionable management of all the money given by the EU for anti-flooding measures after a previous flood (Ianos). Of course, I would be happy if at last we viewed this disaster as an opportunity to improve ourselves and the management of our land, however whatever happened these days wasn't the fault of anyone in particular. On the contrary, A LOT worse could have happened. A lot. Maybe Libya is not an indication because if Greece is not used to such extreme rain phenomena, then Libya is probably ten times less used to them, however we should not forget that this monster was STUCK at least five days over the heartland of Greece. For this alone we should damn be thankful we did not get it any worse and that the land endured in any way and of course now we have to correct old mistakes as well but let's do it united and determined and without wasting time once more in pointless infighting, which in this case might even be unfair. (In fact I think the thing we should blame the state the most about was not making it clear beforehand that this was going to be unprecedented, not just "very severe". They probably didn't want to cause panic and mayhem but still. We should know.) Of course I am not talking about how the state will treat the afflicted regions from now on, which is entirely its responsibility. And we should stand next to Libya. Greece has its wounds to mend but it should absolutely provide support to Libya. We know what this freak phenomenon was like.

I know this text is long but please consider reblogging this. We should know what happens on our planet. Thousands of people are dead from a freak phenomenon devastating regions across lands and seas. Also forgive any mistakes I might have made although I believe the information is correct for the most part. I didn't speak more about Libya because I don't know enough to analyze the situation as much. Perhaps there are ways of supporting the country too. As a last note, this phenomenon was not freakish because of the climate change - it was just a very unusual occurence. However, the - otherwise normal - warmth of the sea did feed and intensify the storm and the climate change might in the future cause these super rare, accidental phenomena to become more frequent.

[do-you-know-this-queer-character]

Updates, Apologies, and Moving Forward!

Hello everyone! I am not dead, and this blog is not dead. I know I've been gone for a very long time again, and I'm very sorry.

I had to say goodbye to my cat, my emotional support animal, my baby. I won't say too much here, but she was suffering, and unfortunately there was nothing that could be done. My mental health is fragile at the best of times, and while I am okay and safe, it has been a difficult few months for me. I am also a full-time college student with a job, so all of my free hours were spent in grief. It's taken me a while to feel alright enough to come back, but here I am. I'm still passionate about queer representation in media, and I want to continue to share queer characters with the tumblr community. Starting tomorrow, I will resume the 8 times a day posting schedule that I was starting to utilize before my disappearance, as queueing posts makes my life much easier. I'm sorry if I don't respond to notes or asks left during my break. It's a lot to sort through and I value community engagement on this blog more than anything but I am just one person and I can only do so much. Feel free to re-send asks! Going forward, I'll be making a few changes. I am working on a publicly available google sheet of all characters that have been posted on this blog with results that I will link in a visible place so that people wanting to submit a character can (hopefully) quickly search to make sure that character hasn't been posted yet. I also will eventually be looking for another mod, although that will not be until the summer and I will make more posts when the time comes. I will personally be awol for the last few weeks of may and the first few weeks of june due to a job opportunity out of the country, but I am intending to have queued posts continuing to upload at the regular schedule during that time. Unfortunately this means I won't be able to edit mistakes or answer questions, but hopefully any issues can be addressed when I return. Thank you all for your patience, I'm sorry that this radio silence has gone on for so long, but I've thought about this blog a lot during my absence and I'm certain that it's not a project I'm giving up on any time soon.

[olderthannetfic]

You've encountered site changes over time as a fan elder, what do you make of Tumblr potentially being put out to pasture? Tumblr was my coming of age fan site, and im looking for advice to transition to the next thing with grace and less bitterness than I feel now.

--

Ahaha. God, you should have heard the howling about LJ. "Fandom is over!" "Never again shall we dwell in fandom's True Home!" etc.

Hell, this endless "only LJ was good" crap turns up in replies here on posts where I as OP have very clearly laid out why that's rose colored glasses nonsense and you can so make friends on tumblr, have a conversation on tumblr, etc.

I had my crabby phase about this during the transition from Yahoo Groups to LJ. A lot of the real olds had it over paper zines and the transition to the internet.

I don't know if reading these hilariously samey old posts would help. It does give perspective, I think.

--

As for what you should do, do what I did with Tumblr:

1.

Look around to identify the Next Thing fandom is going to camp out on.

It may take a few guesses and some time to figure this out. You will likely not be an early adopter. Fandom was well established here by the time I joined at the end of 2010. Of course, by now, all those 2009 and before accounts are long gone, but at the time, I was a n00b joining other people's space despite having been in fandom for ages.

2.

Don't expect to enjoy it

I didn't join tumblr because I liked it. In fact, I despised it. I kept right on despising it until a brief stint in Sherlock fandom, a fandom that was so active here at the time that I was able to finally see the good aspects of the site's structure and features.

This is the mistake a lot of people make. They give things a cursory try, don't enjoy them, and go "not for me", forgetting that the last site also had a steep learning curve that was either difficult or that they didn't notice because they were in a different phase of their life.

Bitterness and grief are, frankly, an inherent part of the process. You can try not to be a debbie downer in your public comments, but you can't just not feel those things during the awkward part of the transition. Sometimes, acting positive and cutting off excessively negative thoughts can make you feel less negative overall, but it doesn't happen immediately.

3.

Accept that feeling cranky and old is both a you problem and a state of mind, not a property of the new site

Relatedly, the way we remember fandom platform X feeling usually has more to do with us being in college with fandom friends down the hall or having discovered Our People for the first time or some other time when we had a lot of energy and positive emotions. Often, we were in the throes of a first or new fandom love too, probably for some megafandom that other people also cared about at the same time.

When fandom is leaving some site, there's a grieving process anyway, but we're also often in a worse part of our lives for starting new things. We're busy. We're tired. We're between fandoms. We feel like we already paid our dues to build up our community. Why should we have to start again?

But let me tell you, you always need to start again eventually. I go to a weekly vidders' zoom chat, and a lot of the people in there are old as balls, including Kandy, the person who invented vidding back in the 70s. She's a lot of decades and a few cancers in, and she had to relearn how to vid on a computer after transitioning from slideshows to VCR vidding back in the day. If bad health, platform changes, and dead friends were going to stop her, she'd be long gone.

It's like sharks: you stop swimming, you die.

This isn't just about fandom, obviously. It's about avoiding a midlife crisis and, later, about avoiding feeling emotionally geriatric even when your body is falling apart.

Change gets us all, but being mentally old is a choice. The real reason I gave tumblr such a try was that I had been so resistant to getting on LJ. I was 20. Even a year later, it was fucking embarrassing to have been a crotchety old hag as a college student. I promised myself I'd soldier through the next change instead of dragging my feet about it. And it totally worked in the end! But boy did it not make the transition any less unpleasant emotionally!

4.

Find your joy

As is obvious from the above, the vast majority of the problem is just emotions. Fandom has been on a million broken sites with shitty features. We go where the people are, regardless of whether it has the technological aspects we liked at the last place. The actual shape of that platform is largely irrelevant.

What does matter is whether we as an individual fan are still excited and happy about something. I was between fandoms recently and went looking around for BL series I hadn't watched yet. People kept suggesting things set in the present day with too-cheesy production values and too many banal schoolboys in modern day settings without even anything spicy going on. I realized that the BL/danmei scene wasn't really cutting it for me and I should go for production values and genre and non-canon ships. You probably scrolled annoyedly past the picspams that resulted.

(Of course, hilariously, someone has now shown me the trailer of Red Peafowl, so someone may be making BL that feels like it's for me after all. Look at all that badwrong and very dark color grading.)

When you're in a good place emotionally, it's a hell of a lot easier to weather any change, and when you have a new fandom, it's a lot easier to connect with other fans.

A lot of people wait around for lightning to strike twice. They found their first fandom by accident, and they expect it to happen seamlessly again. For me, it's far more productive to brute force it: collect up a big list of what's popular or what's new and go through it till you find things you might like, then try them all.

And part of this, obviously, is not waiting for other fans to make the party happen. The more you need to join something other people are already doing, the less choice you'll have in fandoms or in platforms. If you aren't picky and just go where the tropey longfic is, that can work, but even then, favorite authors disappear or go to fandoms you hate and former megafandoms dry up. If you're the one bringing the party, it's a lot easier to find a new fandom or platform or community to have fun in.

[enwrites]

Cloud Nine (p.sh) — pt. 2

pairings: brother's bff!sunghoon x afab!reader

warning: 18+ MDNI !! (not proofread at all im so sorry)

genre/cw: smut, somewhat angst, emotional tension, unresolved feelings, pining, sunghoon is dumb and emo, crying, arguing, unprotected sex (wrap b4 u tap pls), riding, slight fingering, slight usage of pet names, breeding, body worship kinda?, jay is still very much your brother here and is overprotective of you, heeseung cameo + mention of jake, fluff if you squint i think (lmk if anything was missed!)

synopsis: after what happened the previous week, tensions are high. sunghoon is left to his own feelings and thoughts as he tries to overcome the mess he made. will he be able to mend things and fix the trouble he caused?

wc: 5.7k words

a/n: here is the long awaited pt two which now concludes cloud nine, everyone cheer!! i've been meaning to post this earlier but got side tracked lol but also tumblr deleted this and i had to redo the layout. tysm for all your kind words and feedback so far on my blog! it means so much to me. i wasnt too happy about this in the end but i felt i needed to finish what i started, ty for bearing with me <3 and again hope u all enjoy~

[ masterlist ] [ part one ]

A week has passed since the incident took place. 

Days grow long, painful almost as lingering feelings grow stronger and stronger. Sunghoon just couldn’t bring himself to come face to face with you any more. Hell, he couldn’t even face your brother either, his body trembles a bit, remembering what came after. 

Both of your faces drop realizing Jay had been awake the entire time. Sunghoon looks at you as he starts to panic, gathering his clothes back on at the speed of light. You follow him, putting yours on as well. This was not going to be good. The both of you trying to hurry down the stairs to get Sunghoon out, Jay beat you guys to it. The look of anger plastered all over his face, arms crossed as he stood up hastily from the couch, his eyes on the both of you. 

If looks could kill, you both would be dead, lying lifeless on the ground. 

Sunghoon shutters as he comes face to face with his best friend as he hangs his head low. You tremble as well, your brother has always been scary to you. His stare was so cold, you felt like your living room had turned into Antarctica. You scurried down, making your way slightly in between the two boys. “Look, Jay, it’s not what it—,” he cuts you off.

“Not what it looks like? You two were just fucking?! How could you two do this to me? How could YOU do this to me? That’s my fucking sister?” He finishes off as he jabs his finger into Sunghoon’s chest, anger and disappointment running through his veins. Sunghoon lets out an exhausted sigh, running his hands through his hair. Anxiety coursing through his entire body, he felt like he needed to run away and hide. 

“Jay, please just liste—,” Sunghoon shakily speaks up only to be cut off. He knew this wasn’t going to end well. The two of you both knew that once Jay got angry, there was no stopping him.

“What the fuck is there to listen to? I've heard enough, you had ONE rule, anyone else but my sister!” Jay shouts at Sunghoon’s face, the younger boy hangs his head low again. He didn’t know what to say. Small cries were heard as he turned his head to the side, heart breaking as he saw tears running down your face. He wanted to reach for you right there, to hold you. To tell you he was going to fix this. But he couldn’t. 

Too overwhelmed by everything that was happening, you just stood there, silently crying as the two boys looked at one another. No one dared to utter a word. The silence was heavy and suffocating within the room. All you could think about was how glad you were that your parents weren’t here for any of this. 

“Jay… please just—,” Sunghoon tried to speak up once more, Jay was pushed to the edge. “Just get the fuck out of the house, I can’t even fucking look at you right now… you’re lucky I don’t just kill you right now,” Jay spits at him one last time. Sunghoon had no choice but to leave. He takes one more look at you, his entire world shattering. You look back at him with tear stained eyes, wanting to stop him. But you couldn���t. No one would do anything. The boy hung his head low as he made his way out of your house. Getting into his car, that was when it all came out.

The tears he was holding back poured out of his eyes as he tried to compose himself to drive off. Did he really just lose the two people he loved all in a single night?

Now Sunghoon was contemplating whether or not he wanted to finally make his way to classes, ditching every single day since then. The days grow long and cold, especially not having his best friend there, or anyone there for that matter. Who was he supposed to talk to about all of this? He had been ignoring your messages since that night, not really knowing how to face what just happened.

He wanted to speak to Jay and explain his feelings. But how the hell do you tell your best friend that you’ve been secretly in love with his sister this entire time. He just couldn’t. He always knew Jay would kill him, having given him the “don’t you dare go after my sister” speech the first day they met. Jay has given all of his friends that speech. Sunghoon knew better and he especially knew what he was doing that night was risky. 

Guilt washed over him like a wave onto the shore, crashing onto everything into its way. Even if he were to try and mend things, he can’t lie and say he hasn’t been the greatest to you either. Sunghoon didn’t mean to ignore you, he really didn’t. He tried to push his feelings aside, he wanted things to go back to normal. He knew he was hurting you as he ignored your texts and calls to him. Maybe he wasn’t good for you after all. He didn’t want to hurt you and he didn’t want to hurt Jay as well. Sunghoon groaned into his pillow as frustration and sadness filled his body. Wallowing in his sadness, he was taken back to reality as a persistent knock was banged onto his dorm room door. His heart fell to his ass. 

What if it were Jay? What if it were you? Surely you wouldn’t want anything to do with him after being ignored for a week now. He hesitantly gets up, making his way to the entrance. Impatient, the person behind the door pounds onto the frame once more. Sunghoon gulps, palms getting clammy thinking who it could be. Before he can pull it open, a voice loudly speaks up. 

“Dude I know you’re awake, just open the damn door already!” Yelled the person behind the door. He lets out a sigh of relief. Opening the door, Heeseung makes his way in. Pushing past the shorter boy, he makes his way to the desk and sits on the computer chair. Letting out a deep sigh, he scrunches his nose as he takes in the dorm room. Sunghoon takes notice of his distasteful expression, head hung low as he realizes how bad his room really did look. 

“God… you look rough, when was the last time you even showered?” Heeseung spits, shaking his head in disappointment. This was the worst he has ever seen the boy. All of his years of knowing Sunghoon, not once has anything affected him in this way. Not even Sunghoon’s very first girlfriend had this effect on him. Heeseung was fed up with seeing his two closest friends feud, so he needed to make a change. Heeseung had always known how much Sunghoon really liked you anyways. 

Everyone knew how much the two of you secretly liked one another. 

Heeseung wasn’t stupid and he knew Jay wasn’t either. Jay was just stubborn and has always been that way. Of course, who’d want their best friend to fuck their little sister? But Heeseung knew there was no changing Sunghoon’s feelings for you as well as yours for him. Anyone could see it from a mile away, even tens, thousands even. 

Sunghoon keeps his head low, not being able to make eye contact with the older boy either. “I don’t know… maybe like yesterday…,” Sunghoon muttered. He definitely didn’t shower yesterday.

“Yesterday my ass, this place is a mess dude… keep this up and Y/n is definitely not gonna want your stinky ass, figuratively and literally, yuck…,” Heeseung says in disgust as he eyes the empty ramen cups and cans all over the boy’s desk, reaching to his floor. “Plus Mrs. Kim has been on my ass to get you to come back to class… you realize attendance is important right?” The older boy finishes almost as if he was lecturing Sunghoon. Sunghoon throws his head back, a groan erupting once more from him. 

“Yes I know dad… and Y/n doesn’t want me anyways, she probably hates me right now,” Sunghoon grumbles as he sighs, sadness lacing his tone. Heeseung rubs the temple of his, exhausted at how far this has come. 

“You really are fucking stupid,” Heeseung chuckles. Sunghoon, now annoyed, sits up to look at the other. “Look if you just came here to give me shit you can leave!” Sunghoon loudly said to him. Heeseung puts his hands up, surrendering.

“I’m just here to help bud—,” Sunghoon cuts him off. “Help my ass? How exactly are you helping?” Sunghoon bites back, anger brewing within him.

“Maybe if you haven’t been hiding for a week, you’d know how badly Y/n and Jay are fighting, better yet you’d know how badly she needs you right now. Yeah, Jay isn’t so happy, who would be? You literally fucked his— WHAT THE FUCK?” a pillow was thrown to his face before he could finish. 

“Before I was rudely interrupted, both of them miss you… no matter how much Jay hates to admit it, he misses you. He’ll get over it eventually, everyone knew you two had the hots for each other anyways,” Heeseung rolls his eyes as he finishes. Sunghoon cocks an eyebrow, confused at the last statement.

“What do you mean everyone knew…,” Sunghoon quietly asks the older boy. Heeseung sighs again as he face palms himself, clearly Sunghoon was not the smartest guy alive. 

“Dude… we’ve all known since high school… you aren’t very slick … we see your eyes traveling… we see the way you look at her and stuff, Jay isn’t stupid. He just hates to admit that you actually like his sister, I mean who could blame you, she’s smokin—OW!” Sunghoon throws a water bottle to Heeseung’s head, not wanting to hear the last part. But Heeseung was right. He had been in love with you for as long as he could remember. Bittersweet feelings fill his chest as he remembers the first day he met you. 

He remembered the day Jay had introduced you to him as the three of you decided to walk home from school together that day. To say he was in awe was an understatement. Remembering your cute smile, your sweet tone, and the way you giggled at his jokes. Ever since then, he had always teased you any chance he’d get. His small jokes turning into rather more annoying pranks, he loved just getting a reaction from you. The more you grew annoyed by his presence, he took notice as it made him secretly upset. But you never once pushed him away, you always made sure to still make him snacks if you were making anything, you always packed an extra lunch in case he wanted some. Sunghoon felt your lingering touches, no matter how “mad” you seemed to get at him.

But of course, your older brother held the two of you back. He knew it was wrong for him to go after his best friend’s sister of all people, so he tried his best to suppress his feelings. He made it a point to mess with you whenever he could. It was the only time you’d look at him, acknowledge him even. So he hid his feelings for you, but not well enough apparently. 

“Helloooo, earth to Sunghoon? Are you coming to class today or what?” Heeseung snaps at Sunghoon, bringing him back to life. Sunghoon blinks a couple of times before getting up. He needed to speak with Jay. He needed to see you again. Puzzled, Heeseung looks at him with furrowed brows. 

“Yeah… let’s go,” Sunghoon utters as he gathers his things to get ready to leave. Heeseung stands up, sucking in his teeth and stopping the boy in his tracks. A confused expression washes over Sunghoon’s face.

“Uhh… yeah before we go… I’m gonna need you to shower and brush your teeth… and I’ll help freshen up this room for you in the meantime— I got a feeling you’re gonna need it,” he pushes the boy into the direction of his bathroom, before getting ready to clean the dirty room for his friend. Sunghoon chuckles, as a smile creeps onto his face. He knew he could always count on Heeseung.

Sunghoon lets out a deep sigh as Heeseung’s car pulls into the campus parking lot. His heart felt like it was going to explode. What if he wasn’t ready?

“I’m not ready,” he softly speaks up, catching the attention of the other boy. Heeseung sighs again as he turns his car off, looking towards the younger boy. 

“Look, Hoon, you know I love you— no homo, but I hate seeing you like this and I hate seeing Jay like this. You two need to fix whatever this is, okay? I’m here for the both of you no matter what and that’s not going to change,” he looks at Sunghoon to reassure him that he was in fact being serious before continuing on. Truly, it broke his heart to see one of his best friends in this state of sadness. 

“And I know how much Y/n means to you, trust me when I say you two are perfect for one other. Jay isn’t heartless you know, the two of you mean a lot to him and I know he’d want you guys to be happy if it meant he had to share you with his sister— man this sounds so fruity but you know what I mean!” Heeseung gives Sunghoon a playful punch as the two of them laugh it off. Sunghoon takes a deep breath in and exhales out. He couldn’t go any longer without seeing you. With that, the two boys make their way out of the car and towards the campus. 

Stares fall upon the two as rumors clearly spread like wildfire. These were the consequences they paid for going to a smaller campus. Sunghoon looks to the floor, watching his feet as he makes his way to his first class. Maybe everyone did know. 

Plus he didn’t look the greatest at the moment either. Noticeable eye bags lay plastered on his face, hair a bit disheveled as he sported just a baggy hoodie and some sweats his first day back. He looked rough. 

He and Heeseung finally get to their first class and take their respective seats at the table they frequented. Sunghoon knew Jay had this class as well, anxiety eating away at him as his heart rate increases, he felt like he was going to hurl all the ramen he ate last night. He crosses his arm as he slams his head onto the table, too afraid to face his best friend. 

“Dude, it’s gonna be okay, it’s just Jay,” Heeseung says nonchalantly. Yeah it was just Jay, it’s not like he hasn’t seen Jay beat guys up for breaking your heart or anything. It’s not like he hasn’t seen Jay almost kill a guy for laying his hands onto you unprompted. He knew how much you meant to Jay and he was afraid Jay wouldn’t understand how he felt. And what he heard that night definitely didn’t seem like Sunghoon liked you as much as he did. For all he could’ve known, it might’ve seemed like Sunghoon was using you. 

Sunghoon raises his head from the table as he looks up, catching eyes with Jay as he makes his way through the door. Jay wore an uninterested expression on his face, Sunghoon not being able to read how he felt. He trembles a bit under his stare, as Jay takes a seat across from him, next to Heeseung. Without a word being spoken, the professor makes her way in, delighted to finally see Sunghoon back and well. 

“Ahh, Sunghoon, it’s nice to see you joining us again, alright now let’s get back to where we ended off yesterday,” she says to the whole class as everyone fishes out their books. Jay seemed almost too calm for Sunghoon’s liking. Sunghoon decides to wait until the class ends to speak to the other boy. To say he was nervous was surely an understatement. 

~

With the blink of an eye, class was over. Sunghoon nervously looks over to Jay as he sees the boy packing up his things to get out. Jay gets up, not even acknowledging the nervous boy as he makes his way out of the door. Sunghoon hurriedly gathers his things as he runs after him. You’d think he was actually in love with Jay or something. He manages to catch up to him as they both make their way out of the back exit. 

“Jay, dude wait— hold up please!” Sunghoon shouts, panting as he lets out a breath. Jay stops in his tracks as he turns to look at Sunghoon, taking in his noticeably rough appearance. Jay sighs, gripping the strap of his backpack. Sunghoon wore a pitiful expression, not knowing what to say. 

“Look Jay, I know what I did was really fucked… I know you’ll never forgive me… but I really, really—,” Jay stops the boy in his tracks, cutting him off.

“I know you like her, I’ve known for a while actually,” Jay deadpans. Sighing once more, he continues on as Sunghoon’s expression puzzles. “I’m not stupid, I see the way you look at her, c’mon dude, I just didn’t think you two would be like that while I was in the house… I don't wanna hear my sister like that! You could’ve at least taken her to your dorm or something…,” Jay trails, cringing at what he was put through last weekend. “Plus you could’ve literally just told me,” Jay rolled his eyes, shaking his head at the distraught boy. 

A confused expression overcomes Sunghoon’s face. “How was I supposed to tell you?! You said you’d kill me!” Jay groans loudly, face palming as annoyance grows within him. 

“I say that to everyone, but you’re literally my best friend, who else would I trust more,” Jay states as if it was obvious information. 

“So… are we cool?” Sunghoon asks softly. Jay rolls his eyes once more before a slight smile appears onto his face. It was really pathetic seeing his best friend this way.

“We’re about to not be if you keep her waiting for you and if you hurt her, I will seriously kill you,” Jay sternly says as he gives Sunghoon’s arm a little punch. “Seriously dude you should not be wasting your time with me, Y/n has been crying all week over you, you should really fix—,” Sunghoon cuts him off before hearing the last part.

“Oh my god— Y/n,” Sunghoon loudly says as he pushes Jay aside, running to find you. Jay shakes his head. All he could only do was hope you two would be okay. Your mother once said, to never get in the way of love. As much as he wished his best friend didn’t fall for you, he always knew the two of you liked each other. He just hoped in the future, he would never fall victim to your disgusting acts.

Sunghoon ran around the campus, asking anyone and everyone if they had seen you. Panic courses through his veins as he starts to think maybe you didn’t want to see him. Pushing his thoughts aside, he told himself he’d deal with the consequences later. He just needed to see you again. His head snaps as he hears an all too familiar laugh. There he sees you sitting at an outside table with a few of your friends. He hastily makes his way to you, catching the attention of those at your table. 

“Is that Sunghoon?” Your friend asks, catching your attention. Your heart starts to race. You turn your head around, catching his eye as he stands in front of you, hands on his knees as he tries to catch his breath.

“Sunghoon? What are you doin—,” without giving you a chance to speak, he grabs your wrist, ushering you to get up. “Let’s talk somewhere else, get your stuff,” he pants out, tugging you a little. Confused and almost excited to see he was alive and well, you gather your things as you mumble “sorry” to your friends, only to get devious smirks in return. After gathering your things, Sunghoon takes your bag as he starts to pull the two of you away, heading towards the dorms. Luckily, the buildings weren’t too far. 

“Sunghoon— Sunghoon! Wait, where are you taking me… why haven’t you been speaking to me?” You let out, as the taller boy continues to still drag you away and off campus. Sunghoon not listening, too deep into his mission to get you two to his dorm room, you let out a frustrated sigh. “Where are we going?” You ask once more as you are now being dragged down a hill. 

“Dorm,” Sunghoon nonchalantly replies back, your face heats up a bit, you’ve never been to his dorm before. Before you knew it, you were in front of a large building, not too far from campus. Sunghoon pushed past the doors, leading the two of you up the stairs of the building, too impatient to wait for the elevators. Students around you, staring at the two of you concerningly, watching a stern Sunghoon drag you around. You give them a sheepish smile, hoping to reassure them that you were okay.

Now on the second floor, the two of you make it down a hall. Sunghoon stops the two of you in your tracks, fishing his keys out. You stood in front of a door with a big ‘202’ on it. The nerves start to get to Sunghoon as he now realizes the situation in its entirety. He wasn’t really sure what he was going to say to you. Will you hate him? Do you hate him? He shook his thoughts away, hurriedly opening his door, letting you in first. You awkwardly step in as he closes the door behind you. Taking in the room before you, the scent of his cologne fills your nose. You walk your way to his bed, taking a seat as you watch him pick up a few lingering articles of clothing on his floor, throwing it into a basket. 

“Ahem,” you cleared your throat, gaining his attention. Making sure to move your bag to his desk chair, he walks towards you, taking a seat on the bed as well. You shift a little, making some room. To you it seemed like nothing, to him he feared the shifting meant you hated him. Did you even wanna be around him right now?

“Hoon what’s this all abou—,” before letting you finish, he cuts you off pulling you into a kiss. Taken aback, your eyes widened, softening against his touch as you gave into him. He deepened the kiss, reaching up as he laced his fingers through your hair, taking all of you in. Oh how he has missed you dearly. You pull away as tears form in your eyes, looking down onto your lap you fiddle your fingers. He reaches for your hand, taking it into his. The tears, now falling onto your lap as you couldn’t look him in the eyes, confused as to why he suddenly decided to acknowledge you again. 

“H-Hoonie… why did you leave me hanging?” You shakily asked, reaching your free hand up to wipe your tears away. His heart breaks as he watches you. Quite frankly, he didn’t know why he ignored you either. He reaches both of his hands up, taking your face into his palms, wiping your tears away with his thumbs. You secretly admit that after all the whole situation was somewhat silly but you couldn’t help but still be hurt as you felt like he didn’t reciprocate feelings back. Sunghoon takes in a shaky deep breath, tucking your hair behind your ears for you. 

“Y/n you know I’m stupid— right?” He softly asks you. You nod your head in response. Sunghoon reaches his hands back down to yours again, taking them in. “I’m so stupid, the stupidest guy ever, I wasn’t really sure what to do after that. I was afraid and feeling too many things all at once I guess I was just scared.” He lets out as a sigh left his mouth as well. 

“I know that’s not an excuse and I know this may sound crazy but I really like you Y/n…,” he trails as he looks at your face trying to get a hint as to what you were thinking. He hangs his head low as he was afraid of hearing your response. He gives your hands a little squeeze, bringing you back to life. 

Did he just say he liked you? A slight blush creeps up your face as you sniffle, wiping what was left of your tears away. His heart pounds rapidly, he felt like he was going to throw up whatever leftover instant ramen he had in his stomach. “Please Y/n… say something… anything…,” he whispers. You look up to him as you lay your head onto his shoulder. 

“I like you too Sunghoon,” you let out. His heart felt like it was going to explode. He needed some sort of reassurance. He wasn’t hallucinating now— was he?

“No Y/n, I really like you,” he says against your head. Now it was your turn to feel like your heart was exploding. Butterflies fill your stomach. “You really are so stupid,” you giggle as you lift your head up, looking him in his eyes. Before letting him speak, you pull him into a kiss. His hands instantly reach for your waist, holding you as you lean into him. He lets go of the kiss, putting his forehead against yours. “Y/n I’m really sorry, I know you’re probably still upset with me but—,” you cut him off as you pull his lips into a kiss once more. The two of you kick your shoes off, scooting your way further into his bed. Sunghoon’s back hits the headboard of his bed, you deepen the kiss straddling him as his hands linger down your waist and to your ass. 

“Off… please,” you mumble into the kiss, tugging at his hoodie. Taking the hint, he takes off his hoodie and shirt in one go, leaving him in just his sweats. You bite your lip as you take him in. The sight of him shirtless drove you insane. Sunghoon smirks as you stare at him, mouth agape. 

“Like what you see?” He winks at you. You roll your eyes as you sit on his lap, a moan leaves your mouth as you feel his noticeable bulge. He bucks his hips up into you, gripping your waist as you grind down on him. Small whimpers fall from your mouth. Sunghoon grows harder and harder as the sight of you dry humping him got him excited. He gropes your ass, leaving a slight smack on your cheeks. You let out a yelp, surprised at the sudden sensation. He reaches up to unbutton your shirt, needing to see you. You take this moment to free yourself from your clothes, shimmying out of your skirt, leaving you in just your lingerie. Sunghoon does the same, taking his sweats off. He looks back up to you, still leaning against his headboard. 

“Fuck Y/n, how many of these little outfits do you have?” He says as he caresses your body, feeling you with his hands. Here you are, clad in a little red lingerie set, sitting on top of him. All for him. He hungrily pulls you down into a sloppy makeout session, your arms reach behind his neck, pulling him in closer as you grind onto his bulge. He swears he could just cum all over you like this. He pulls back, trailing kisses down your chest, reaching behind your back, undoing your bra.

“As much as I like these on you, I prefer them much better off,” he says, laying kisses onto your breasts as he looks up to make eye contact with you. The shyness of the situation kicking in, your face heats up. You reach up to cover your face as he pulls your arms back down. He kisses all over you as a hand reaches for your boob. He gropes your boob, pinching your nipple between his fingers. He latched his mouth onto your other, sucking your tit like his life depended on it. You let out a loud moan, trying your best to not cause a noise disturbance. He pulls back with a pop, reaching his hand down to your pussy. To his surprise you were already soaked, the same way you were a week ago. 

“God, you are so pretty Y/n, you’re mine… all mine… fuck how did I get so lucky?” He says looking into your eyes as his fingers now circle your clit. Your body felt like it was on fire. You needed him badly and you needed him now. 

“All yours Hoonie— no one else’s,” you let out as you hump into his fingers a little. Your hands trail down to his boxers as you tug onto them, needing to feel him inside you again. He motions for you to get off. He takes this moment to take his boxers off as you take your panties off. He lays down onto his bed, putting his arms behind his head. Now fully naked, you reach down, legs still over him, you grab his painfully hard cock, giving it a slight stroke. He groans, bucking his hip into your hands. 

“Fuck baby, how about you show me you can ride, you’re awfully good at it don’t you think?” He says, giving you a devilish smirk. You squeeze his cock, giving him a slight eye roll. The thought of you riding your pillow fills his head. The memories forever now etched into his brain as a keepsake. He needed to experience that for himself. Not being able to handle the heat, you hover over his cock, rubbing his tip against your slick folds, earning whimpers from the both of you. 

“You’re so fucking wet, have you been waiting for this?” He groans out as you rub your wetness all over him. You eagerly nodded back at him, mumbling a little “yes” in response. You slowly sink yourself onto him. Sucking in your breath, you didn’t remember him being this huge. Sunghoon throws his head back as he feels your tight cunt, sucking him in and swallowing him whole. You finally get all of him in, sitting down on him. Your pussy felt so full as you pulsate, squeezing around his cock. He bucks his hip into you, needing you to move. 

“You feel so much bigger than last time,” you let out, slowly moving your hip up his shaft. Moving back down, he whines out your name. Your heart skips a beat. You move your hips up and down, increasing your pace. You lay your hands on his chest, riding him as you let out moans of his name. Sunghoon knew he needed to fill you up again. He puts his hands on your waist, gripping your sides as he helps you bounce on him. Watching your tits bounce, he was awestruck. 

“You look so hot Y/n, taking my cock so well baby, such a good girl for me,” he pants out. You whine as you let the pleasure overcome your body, you feel your first climax approaching. Sunghoon bucks into you, your cunt squeezing around his cock. 

“Hoonie~ I-I’m gonna c-cum!” You shout loudly. He fucks into you harder, holding you up as he repeatedly hit your g spot over and over again. 

“Fuck baby, you’re so fucking tight, cum for me,” he groans out as your pussy tightens even harder. He has never felt anything like it before. With one more pump, you let go all over him, screaming his name. Before you could even come back down, he flips the two of you over, pounding into your pussy. He takes one of your legs and throws it over his shoulder, pumping deeper into you. Overstimulated, you start to tear up as he continues to stroke harder into your cunt. 

“Too much… please Hoonie… g’nna cum … again,” you cried out. He reaches down, taking your lips into his. He shoves his tongue in your mouth as you moan into his mouth. He was so close to reaching his own climax as well. He pulls back as a slight trail of spit forms between the two of you. 

“So close Y/n, cum for me again baby,” he coos into your ear as he fucks into you harder. You scream his name once more as your nails dig into his back. Holding him close, he pumps one last time, before he erupts into you, his cum filling you up as he groans out your name. He slowly pumps a bit more as he rides both of your highs out. He trailed kisses down your neck and looked up to you, pulling his cock out slowly. Sitting up, he watches his cum spill out of your hole, fingering it back in slightly like the very first time. This was never going to get old. You hold yourself up slightly with your elbows as you cock an eyebrow at him. A puzzling expression lay on his face. 

“What? No picture this time?” You chuckled, breaking out into a smile. He giggles at your question, leaning down to give you a peck on your lips. The two of you look into each other’s eyes, butterflies in both of your stomachs now. “I forgive you by the way,” you say, breaking the silence. Sunghoon gives you a toothy smile.

“Good, cause you’re all mine…,” he speaks softly, giving your forehead a kiss. You giggle, smiling at him endearingly. You knew your life was going to be extremely different now. But nothing mattered in the moment but you and him. 

“All yours Hoonie… all yours,” you pull him down, nuzzling into his neck, not caring about the mess the two of you just made all over his bed. Sunghoon picks up his phone, checking the time. His face turns pale. Confused, you took a peak, your face now losing color as well.

*Heeseung sent you a message!*

Heeseung: jfc we could hear the two of you all the way from Jake’s room 🤮

© enwrites // tumblr

[irondad-defensesquad]

My Irondad fic recs!

I thought of doing this because why not? Admittedly, I'm not reading as much fanfiction as I did a couple years ago, but some fics have changed my life entirely. In case I forgot one, I'll add it later!

I would’ve organized this in a bullet list, but Tumblr hates me and invented a character limit for that. So this is going to be long and will be under the cut. Anyway, let’s do this!

Rare and Sweet As Cherry Wine by loubuttons – I've mentioned this one before, but this fic right here was what inspired me to write my own Irondad works. One very particular detail I like about it is how it portrays Maria, Tony's mother. It's not what I usually see in other fics about Tony's childhood, since they tend to make Howard the big bad parent. Of course, this is because I personally related to it, as I don't believe in the "bad parent vs. good parent". I also like that it praises Edwin Jarvis as the one who looked out for Tony the most. It's pretty realistic and a very melancholic character study, IMO. *TW for abuse and neglect*

You're Always Iron Man by madasthesea – a very short fic but I absolutely love the premise. Takes place after the big battle in Iron Man 2, and Tony finds little Peter again. They have a very endearing interaction. The following chapter is also very cute!

Nothing like a fresh cup of humiliation in the morning by madasthesea – Pure fluff! This one is probably a classic in the Irondad fandom. Tony kisses Peter's forehead without second thought. Shenanigans ensue. It's so adorable and funny. If you just want to read fluff without angst, this one is for you.

when my body won't hold me anymore (where will I go) by madasthesea - I think I heard about this fic thanks to @/irondadfics here on Tumblr, but I might be wrong since I already knew the Nice work, kid series. Anyway, Peter is believed to be dead, so Tony (and the rest of the Avengers team) is mourning him. In reality, Peter is astral projecting. You know, sort of like how Stephen Strange, in his first movie, was fighting a guy in the other dimension while his body on Earth was struggling to live. That's basically what happens. Strange appears, of course, and saves the day. And I pretty much LOVE the presumed dead trope. I don't know why. Maybe it's the angst of it all. *TW for grief/mourning and temporary character death*

The Reason by doctornineandthreequarters – I think I read this one when I was still writing Oh, take me back to the start. I was looking for fics for inspiration, and I found this one. During the Time Heist in Endgame, Tony remembers the reason he's fighting to bring everyone else back. It's very emotional.

Couch Cuddles by happyaspie – Classic sickfic, but with more fluff than anything. I like rereading it when I feel lonely and touch-starved, especially when I'm also sick like Peter.

You’re So Much Like Me (I’m Sorry) by SpaceCowboysFromMars – Irondad + Miles Morales! Peter is an adult in this, and he freaks out when an injured Miles arrives in his apartment. Tony gives him some wisdom about mentoring and parenting. I don’t usually find Irondad stories featuring Miles (and not necessarily a Spider-Verse crossover), so this was a nice discovery. Peter & Miles & Tony is a very underrated trio IMO. *TW for slight gore*

I'm Glad I Have You by punkybunny – Peter has been having a rough time, dealing with loneliness as Aunt May is not home often, and with bullying at school... until he finally has the chance to spend time with Tony. However, the demons don't disappear completely. Obviously, more Hurt/Comfort, lmao. *TW for nightmare/bad dream*

I Want to Trust You by punkybunny – Actually part of a series that, admittedly, I haven't read all the other stories. But even this one is a very interesting concept on its own. This is a Hydra Peter AU, after Peter has been rescued. He gets sick but given his past in Hydra, he thinks Tony is going to get angry. Peter is proven wrong when Tony helps him get better. The ending is very adorable. I'll see if I can read the rest of the series one day. *TW for past abuse and experimentation*

what you think I've done wrong by ironxprince – I don't often read Biodad stories as you all know, but I was, again, looking for inspiration for You keep me searching for a heart of gold, and I stumbled across this one. Basically Peter, as Tony's biological son, finally meets Howard. It goes as well as you think /sarcasm. *TW for physical abuse*

i, in time, will climb my mountain by ironxprince – This one is heavy. Once again, Peter is Tony's bio son, and he's suicidal. Every time Peter attempts suicide, he buys a new plant. Tony doesn't know this, so he's confused as to why there are so many plants in their house. I love this one, but of course, I try to read it when I’m not having a really bad day. *Once again, TW for suicide attempts*

how do you get that lonely (and nobody knows?) by parkrstark – Yeah... another heavy one. Peter attempts suicide but he saves himself before he reaches the ground. With that, he goes to Tony. This ends happily, don't worry. *TW for suicide attempt*

When You Can't Sleep by Emily_F6 – Pretty much Tony comforting a sleepy Peter, who has just had a nightmare about Thanos. Just Hurt/Comfort and domestic fluff. *TW for mention of death*

i get by (but it's eating me alive) by Livinei – Honestly, I think this is the BEST May's Abusive Boyfriend story I've ever read. For one, none of the characters are oblivious nor dismissive of Peter's feelings. May isn't neglectful and Ned actually tries to encourage Peter to tell someone. I also like that Peter isn't completely helpless. I don't usually see those things in other fics with this trope, sadly. And of course, Protective Tony is my weakness. *TW for emotional and physical abuse*

Hold Me Together by An_Odd_Idea – Post-Endgame where Tony is alive, and Peter and Tony are both trying to cope, so they rely on each other. Pure Hurt/Comfort.

A Tremendous Thing by ExpectoPatronum – Possibly one of my favorite Irondad stories EVER. Also post-Endgame with Alive Tony (though the author better explains it in the notes, it's supposed to be part of a series, but this story can be read on its own). There are a lot of references to Charlotte's Web if you're familiar with it. Basically, it's Father's Day and Peter is feeling guilty and out of place at Tony's lake house, even though everyone is readily trying to include him. It's absolutely beautiful and painful.

Hug You I Must by spiderwriting (catch_you_later) – Probably one of the first touch-starved Peter fics I've read. I like how it describes touch-starvation as this "itchy" current in your body, something that makes you anxious. Thankfully, Peter gets his hug later on. Plus there are some Star Wars references (the title probably is one, lol). *There's some minor violence here when Peter is fighting off some bad guys, but not the focus of the fic*

When You're There With No One There To Hold, I'll Be The Arms That Reach For You by Squibbles94 – Another touch-starved Peter fic. But I really like the references to Cast Away. Ironically I saw this movie in the same year the author published this fic (dare I say SHORTLY after it was posted). I also had no idea that Cast Away was entirely about isolation. Gosh, the main character's monologue at the end ALWAYS gets to me... anyway, yeah, the peak of the pandemic was awful to me, so reading fics like this one helped tons. It still does.

I am cold by N/A (orphan account) – Peter tries to visit Tony, but he gets lost in a subway tunnel on a freezing day. Eventually we learn why Peter wanted to see Tony, but overall this is mainly domestic fluff. Everything ends well.

Sorry Pedro by PinkEasterEggs – One of the first Irondad fics I read. Peter has a nightmare about Homecoming (mainly Toomes), but he avoids waking Tony for that reason. But thanks to F.R.I.D.A.Y's protocols, Peter goes to his mentor. Tony is also super soft here and it makes my heart swoon.

you are enough by diaz_evan – Another post-Endgame fic. Arguably I began reading Irondad fics only after Endgame released. Anyway, this one is short, kinda sad but it ends well. It’s Tony’s birthday and Peter feels very anxious about what to get him as a present. Thankfully, he doesn’t need to prove his love for Tony. *TW for panic attack*

Happy Father’s Day, Mr. Stark by downeylove – There are a lot of Father’s Day fics for these two, of course, but this one takes the cake for me. It’s simple but very endearing to me. Tony obviously doesn’t have good memories of this day, but Peter changes that for the first time. It’s really cute. Plus, Pepper is here, and I love her. I wish I could read more of her interacting with Peter. *TW for mentions of alcoholism and past child abuse*

5 Times Peter Didn’t Say He Was Struggling… And The One Time He Did by Bladam_Shevine – Again, an old fic I read years ago. I admit I haven’t re-read it in a while, but I remember enjoying it and even saving it to read offline. It’s basically what it says in the title: Peter struggles in many ways and he initially refuses help. Tony is always there to reassure him he can count on him. Bruce is here if you like him! And MJ helps Peter on one of the chapters as well. The chapters might get heavier as they go, but it ends on a hopeful note. *TW for injury, panic attack, suicide attempt (it doesn’t involve Peter), and depression*

The Good Days and the Bad by SoupGirlLovesSoup - Peter has had a bad day, now he's cuddling with Tony. It takes a while before Peter finally tells him what happened. It gets sad, but it's mostly fluff and it ends hopefully. I love re-reading it when I need the comfort. *TW for mention of suicide attempt, depression, and bullying*

Breathe Again by gwenoakley - Post-Endgame where Tony survives. He's recovering in the hospital and Peter finally reunites with him. Before that, though, we can feel the anxiety and trauma Peter feels. Definitely makes me emotional. It's the ending they deserved.

Well, for now this is it! Again, I might add more fics here. I think I also could make a list of what particular concepts I want to read more in Irondad stories, so maybe you guys could give me your own recs. I might try to resume my habit of reading Irondad fics, because they give me a lot of comfort. Thanks for reading this far! I hope you enjoy any of the stories I included.

(I'm aware some authors here have their accounts on Tumblr, but I didn't want to annoy anyone by tagging them, so yeah 😅)

[dongfuck]

Does He Know? - l.jn, l.dh

pairing: bf!jeno x fem!reader x sneaky link!haechan

genre: fluff, angst, smut

warnings: cliffhanger ending, cheating, haechan centric, semi-public sex (car sex), exhibitionism, oral (f), temperature play, unprotected sex, slight degradation, slight anal (just fingering), mentioning other’s name during sex, masturbation, slight sexting, smoking (weed), nipple-play (m), handjob, ‘just the tip’, public make out

wc: 8k

note: inspired by swedish house mafia and the weeknd’s moth to a flame. and yes, i did change the banner. also, if the ending seems a little lost or off, try going on the web and reading it there. tumblr’s a shithead sometimes.

recommended songs: a spotify playlist.

Your lips moved in sync with Jeno’s as your hand roamed through his soft hair. At this very moment with your boyfriend all over you, your mind couldn’t help but wander elsewhere. What is he doing now? Is he thinking of me too? Is he hooking up with someone? You immediately shook your head in hopes of getting rid of the ridiculous thoughts your mind was creating on its own. Just then, you felt Jeno pull away from the kiss with both his hands cupping your jaw. “What’s wrong?” His thumb rubbed smooth circles on your delicate skin in concern. “Nothing. I’m sorry…” Your eyes gazed to the wardrobe on your right, avoiding his. “No, it’s okay… We can stop if you don’t want to.” You swore you could hear a hint of disappointment laced in his voice but it was too faint for you to be a hundred percent sure.

Nodding your head slowly, Jeno shifted his position to beside you before turning on the lamp by your bedside, “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable… Let’s go to bed?” his right hand caressed yours softly. “Yeah.” In the middle of the night, at around a quarter to twelve, you’ve found yourself awake with a snoring Jeno next to you. It was a habit, you could say. Waking up in the dead of night, grabbing your phone from the nightstand which you made sure was placed on Do Not Disturb, and opening the messaging app. You couldn’t pinpoint when exactly the whole ordeal happened. It wasn’t like you planned for it to happen but sometimes, sometimes, you get a little too greedy.

Your gaze shifted towards the boy next to you warily before typing away on your phone. He was awake. He always is. There wasn’t a time he wouldn’t reply to your texts or calls. Most of the time, you wonder why you were doing this. Is it right? Obviously it was not, but you were in denial. You wanted to believe what you were doing was right when you know it was not. Your fingers typed away without a care for the world and you felt almost as if you were being controlled. He had a hold on you that was impossible to release yourself from. Suddenly, as if you were shot with an arrow of realisation, your thumb hovered over the send button and your eyes flashed to the words ‘Online’ under his saved contact. This was wrong. You believed it was wrong. There was no denying anymore. It was wrong.

Almost immediately, you switched off your phone before slamming it screen first onto the nightstand and forcing yourself to sleep.

The next day was a blur. You’d caught Haechan staring at you with a look of disbelief plastered on his face. You’d avoided him all day. You couldn’t bring yourself to tell him that it was over. That you didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Needless to say, you were scared of him. You knew what he was capable of and you weren’t going to risk yourself any further. Walking around aimlessly through the halls of your campus, you looked around frantically for your best friend, Kia. Your eyes trailed everywhere through the building that suddenly seems all too big and stuffy for you. A hand was placed at the side of your head, feeling all of sudden lightheaded and dizzy. You blinked multiple times before sprinting to the nearest restroom.

Both your hands found their place by the sink as you gazed at your reflection in the mirror. Your cheeks were red, lips glazed with saliva and eyes drowsy. You didn’t know your purpose here. Were you about to throw up? Or maybe your mind was simply just creating a reason for you to end up in the restroom. Turning the tap on, you pooled the running water in the palms of your hands that you took off the sink before splashing the liquid onto your face. The water was icy cold and you could feel your vision going blurry. There wasn’t an explainable reason for it though. Suddenly, as if you’ve finally gained your conscious, your eyes were clear again and you were no longer feeling the aching pain in your head.

“Surprising to find you in the men’s.” Your head whipped to the voice that was coming from your right. “Haechan.” You controlled the tremble in your voice. Though, it was hard not to notice it. “That’s me. Mind giving me the pleasure of knowing why you’re in here?” He was inching closer to you. You didn’t care to notice though. “I entered the wrong restroom. So if you’ll excuse me—” You attempted on making your way to the exit door but no way was Haechan going to let you go this easily after you quite literally ignored him last night. He took steps to block you from walking any further when you’ve reached less than a foot away from the door.

You avoided his piercing gaze from above you and looked everywhere but him. “People’ll come in.” You stated. “I’ll lock the door.” Right then, you heard a click coming from the door indicating the lock was flicked. “We shouldn’t be doing this in the restroom. Mind you, public restroom.” You emphasised on the word ‘public’ with a stare into his eyes. “Oh we’re not going anywhere.” Haechan’s right hand found itself in the dip on your waist as he pulled you closer to his heated body. “Then say what you have to say and get it over with. I have psychology.” You placed a hand between the both of you on his chest to keep a safe distance between you two. There was an amused chuckle coming from the boy by you that made you curious.

“No you don’t. I take psychology with you.” All of sudden, you felt your cheeks flare up at the embarrassment of being caught in a lie. “Just talk.” The voice you let out was small and almost hushed but he was grateful to have heard it. “What happened,” There was a pause before he continued, “last night?” You could’ve lied and pretended you didn’t have a clue as to what he was talking about and you believe you should’ve. But something in the way he looked at you and tightened his grip on your waist has you showing more than just a reaction. “I’m done.” It was the truth. It really was. But once the words leave your mouth, you felt like you were telling a lie. “You are?” He was bemused, you could tell. Maybe even in disbelief. “I am.”

You glanced above to stare at his confused expression. Haechan was obviously puzzled. Probably because no one’s said something similar to him before. It’s always him who ends things. “That’s new.” His eyebrows raised and dropped with an upside-down smile on his face, “Are you sure though?” that question echoed through your head endlessly. Were you? Were you sure? A lump in your throat was swallowed when you thought about it. At this, you could hear Haechan’s signature mocking chuckle filling the empty restroom. “You’re not.” He took one of his free hands and held your wrist that was still firmly placed on his chest and brought it to his lips before giving it a lewdly romantic kiss that you would almost be jealous of.

“You need me,” He kissed the inner part of your forearm as his eyes shut in ecstasy teasingly. “and I need you.” You couldn’t tell if he was being sincere or if he was simply manipulating you but nonetheless, that was the least of your concerns at the moment. As the two of you were caught in the heat of the moment, there was an ear-piercing bang of the locked door followed by what sounds like a pissed man. “Open the fucking door you motherfucker! I need to pee!” He ended his rage with three bangs on the door before Haechan turned to look at you with horror. With a hushed voice, he said, “In here.” he pushed you to one of the empty stalls before all you could hear was the door getting unlocked and the sound of angry stomping alongside some bickering. Plus, you could also hear what sounds like peeing.

“What in fuck’s sake were you doing in here with the door locked?!” A shuffling of a belt was followed. “Sorry, I didn’t notice it was locked. I just finished taking a shit and heard banging on the door. It wasn’t me I swear.” Your eyebrows furrowed and you rolled your eyes in annoyance at the façade Haechan was putting on. “Well. whether it was or wasn’t you, just don’t do that.” There was the sound of running water and the hand dryer before you assumed the guy left. Huffing out a breath of relief, you waited for Haechan to call you. “He’s gone.” Opening the cubicle door with a peek, you walked out of the it annoyedly.

You made your way to the exit door with no obstacles this time but before you could leave through it, you heard Haechan calling your name from behind you. Rolling your eyes inwardly, you turned your head a little as a sign for him go on. “Meet me at the usual after classes. And don’t make me wait.” You said nothing and left the restroom with a forceful tug at the door. But it wasn’t like it was slammed, it simply retreated to its original place slowly. As you were walking to your next class, you couldn’t help but think about what Haechan’d said barely five minutes ago. Don’t make him wait? Hell yeah I’m gonna make him wait. Might as well ditch him. But you knew it was a bad idea. So you simply made your way into class as none of students seem to care about your entrance. Except for one.

“Babe! Where have you been? You were missing since lunch. Didn’t you check your phone?” Hearing Jeno’s worried tone made you somehow feel guilty and sad but you tried to hide your emotions from showing on your face. Instead, you patted your pockets for your phone knowing damn well you didn’t have it with you. “Sorry, my bag and phone’s with Kia.” Giving him a small frown, you took the seat next to him before giving him a peck on the cheek, “I’m sorry for disappearing like that, Jen.” a small smile was carved on your lips. “I-It’s fine. Just… Don’t do that again.” You could see the hint of blush forming on his smooth cheeks and you failed to hold back a smile at that. “D-Don’t laugh at me!”

Your head was thrown back as strings of moans and curses left your parted lips. You’d met up with Haechan at the park you always go to and somehow, it’d led to him eating you out in his car. Your hands found their way to the locks of his hair before you began tugging on the soft strands. There was a brief moment where you could feel his determination in his movements but that moment left as quick as it arrived. In spite of the moment being so brief that you would almost see it as a simple misuse of strength, you were a hundred and ten percent certain he was determined to prove something. But what was it he wanted to prove? That he’s better than Jeno? You couldn’t quite wrap your head around it, but you also did not care.

So putting that thought to the back of your mind, you opened your eyes to meet his lust-filled ones before spotting the devilish sinful shit-eating smirk on his face. Grinding your hips onto it, you could make out what sounds to be a breathy moan leaving his lips and causing heat to pool between your legs. “Hae-Haechan…” Eyes were being rolled to the back of your head as you could feel your orgasm right around the corner. Haechan’s hum that vibrated around your pussy was what caused you to cum all over his lips making them even wetter than they already were. Kneeling by your knees, he stared at you with eyes that could burn as you take in the way his white button up was a few buttons loose, his necklace that was once tucked into his shirt now sitting exposed on his collarbone. It was starting to become too much for you.

The sight of his cum-covered red lips has you biting on your own as you rubbed your thighs together, smearing the hot liquid around them. “Don’t do that.” Both his hands was placed on your hiked-up knees before patting them with his fingers and letting the cool breeze hit your hot skin again. You breath hitched at the feeling as you gripped on his left arm tightly. “Come on, stop acting like you don’t like it.” He stated with one of the hands that was on your knees now roaming your clothed chest. For a second, you thought it was over. That he was gonna stop and move on. But no. The second his hand left your heated body, he took the cup that was empty of the iced water and was left with just the ice. Taking the lid off, he stuck his hand into the cup before pulling it out with an ice cube in his hand.

“Haechan.” You said warningly. Not in the car. “Just for a while.” Was the last thing he said before he was rubbing the ice onto your wet pussy. His unoccupied palm was placed over your lips to prevent your sounds from being too loud. His rubs began to increase in speed as your legs started to stretch before hiking up again. All of sudden, his movements stopped and the melted ice cube was replaced with a new one but this time, it was placed directly above your gaping hole. You knew where he was going with this. He’d done it countless time before that you’re starting to think he has some sort of ice kink. Pushing the ice cube into you agonisingly slowly, you had to suppress a scream at the feeling of your insides turning numb from the coldness. Haechan kept it inside you as his hands worked their way to undo his jeans before his boxers were pushed to his knees and his cock thrusted into you dry.

“Shit!” You managed to let out when Haechan’s palm was removed from your lips. You could hear the tremble in his voice when he let out the most filthiest groan ever heard. Both his hands found their way by your head as his thrust began growing faster by each passing second. “Fuck, Y/n…” You knew he was feeling the cool of the ice too when the cold liquid began dripping from his balls to the velvet seats. Crying his name was all you’ve been doing for the past fifteen minutes and it wasn’t any different now. Gripping his shoulders painfully, you tried to focus on Haechan’s dick pounding into you but it didn’t help that your mind was suddenly reminded of Jeno. And it was worse when you accidentally cried out your boyfriend’s name.

It was as if time’d stopped and Haechan’s thrusting immediately stilled with a look of disbelief on his face. “Really, Y/n? You’re really thinking of him while I’m literally fucking you in my car? Are you that much of a whore?” His hips began moving once again but this time, it was faster than the previous. In fact, it wasn’t just faster, it was deeper, rougher, and painfuller. “Fuck, Haechan! I’m sorry!” The car was already shaking from the intensity of his rutting but seemingly enough, you actually wouldn’t mind if people saw what you guys were doing. Not that that would be the priority though. “You can never, never compare me to that piece of shit you call your boyfriend. I am always going to be better than him. At everything I do.” His words suddenly left a pang of hurt in your chest. Although he wasn’t talking about you, the way he spoke about your boyfriend made you feel the rage slowly pouring out of you but before it could spill, you quickly bottled it before tossing it to somewhere in your head to be thought about later.

As of now, all you wanted was to get your mind off of shit with Haechan’s cock stuffing you full. So full that you almost didn’t notice your second orgasm approaching. “Don’t. I haven’t came yet.” An annoyed whine left your lips before your grip on his shoulder loosened and drop to his firm arm. You traced the veins on his arm shakily as you heard an extremely loud groan slowly seeping out of him before you came with him. Hard. Unwillingly pulling out of you, Haechan placed his heavy cock on your exposed tummy and you felt the heat radiating from it even after being soaked in ice cold water. The hot liquid began leaking out of you and Haechan had to bite back the urge lick it back into you as he watched the line of white pooling at your asshole.

Reaching a finger over to it, he gathered the line of liquid before stuffing it into your lower hole with a few pump of his fingers. A soft moan could be heard from you as you tightened the grip on his finger. An amused chuckle emitted from the bottom of his throat when he noticed your gesture as he slowly pulled out of you. “Don’t think I’m forgiving you for saying his name and for ignoring me.” Haechan rolled his eyes with a lick of his fingers. Damn. I don’t need your forgiveness anyways. “Is that so?” You hadn’t notice that you’d said it out loud when both your hand was slapped on your mouth. “Is it?” He repeated. This time, he was closer by an inch. “No! Of course not. I was joking.” You smiled nervously at him after your hands were removed from your lips.

“That’s right.”

Sitting at the edge of your bed with your hand stuffed between your thighs as you stared at the pictures Haechan had sent wasn’t the type of ‘productive’ you planned on being today. It all happened so quickly. One time you’re innocently texting him and the next he’s sending you risky images on purpose. Your gaze darted to the white door in your room, making sure it was locked before slowly lying your back onto the soft mattress. A sigh left your lips when your fingers began moving against your clit in smooth circles. The wetness that was smeared around your heat was enough to make your movements easier. Reaching your fingers lower, two digits prodded at your entrance and you let out a dangerous whimper at that, instinctively swatting your head towards the door once again.

Your eyes were shut when your fingers started to slowly sink into your tight hole. At that moment, you were beginning to miss the way Haechan liked to fuck you. Fast and rough. The way his cock fitted inside you so well has you curling your toes in the air. Hiking up your knees, your heels dug into mattress beneath you allowing the comfortable material to dip by an inch. You glanced at the image showed on your phone screen as your fingers moved in faster and more pleasurable motions. Your head was tilted back with an inaudible groan leaving the depth of your throat before you unconsciously clenched against your own fingers.

You could feel your orgasm approaching but somehow, it felt all too far for you to reach. Something was holding it back and you have no idea what it was. You tried to pleasure yourself even more by taking tiny glances of the image of Haechan with every peek but still, you couldn’t cum. After a few minutes of trying to orgasm, you finally gave up with a huff of frustration as you forcefully pulled your fingers out of your abused hole. Sighing, you shut your eyes and took your phone before getting out of the bed and to the bathroom.

The feeling of the hot water dripping across your body has you smiling softly into the liquid as your hands rubbed the foam of soap onto your chest. A hot shower was definitely what you needed after a long, tiring day. Stepping out of the shower, you looked at yourself in the mirror with your head tilted to one side. Would Haechan still like you if he saw you like this? With your hair dripping and you body wet? Curious, you grabbed your phone from next to the sink and held it above your head as you stared at the front camera imitating doe eyes. Pressing the white button at the bottom of the screen, you snapped a photo of you naked with your bottom lip tucked between your teeth.

You patiently waited for Haechan's reply after having had sent it to him a minute ago with the caption 'was thinking of you'. You knew it was cheesy and corny but you didn't at the moment. You wanted to sound cheesy. The ding in your phone has you immediately opening the messaging app as you tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. Smiling ear to ear, you read Haechan's response with a cheery feeling blossoming inside you.

haech: shit

haech: i wish i could see you like tht

haech: you look fucking hot

haech: send me another

Doing exactly what he said, you placed your phone against the hand soap horizontally before snapping a few more photos to send to him. Your favourite must definitely be the one where your exposed chest was slightly jutted out and your hand went to touch your pussy but fortunately, the countertop was covering it so he couldn't see much. You know he likes a little tease.

you: [Attachment: 1 image]

haech: fuck my dick's fucking hard

haech: wanna see?

haech: [Attachment: 1 image]

You swore on your life you heard a moan leaving your lips but it was too brazen for you to believe it was actually you.

you: wanna ride it so bad

you: it's unfortunate i can't come over

haech: why not? want me to come to ur place?

you: jeno's coming ovr in a bit

When he didn't reply despite having have read your message, you knew he was jerking off. In the middle of a conversation? Seriously?

you: dick

you: are you seriously jerking off rn?

haech: u shld do it top

you: what

haech: too* sorry tyo

haech: typo*

you: whtevr i'm tired

you: gnight

With that, you switched off your phone and wrapped a warm towel around your body and walking out of the bathroom with your phone in hand. Getting dressed didn't take that long. You simply threw on a black tee and a pair of green plaid pajama pants before launching yourself onto the comfort of your bed. Fun fact, you lied. About Jeno coming over. Come on, it's 10pm. The only people in the house at this hour is you and your roommate who is most likely asleep right now. And you should be too. Haven't I told you you're (most of the time) an early sleeper? Tucking both your hands under your pillow, you closed your eyes and hoped to be taken into slumberland but unfortunately someone had to ruin it.

The sound of your notifications blowing up your phone has you cupping your ears with both hands and what makes it even worse is when the ringtone starts playing. And it doesn’t help that it’s fucking Sticker. Picking up your phone from where you left it, you angrily looked through it to find the culprit and Lord and behold was he there spamming you with unnecessary information. Like, I don’t fucking care if your socks are yellow.

haech: i just came

haech: and it got all over my socks

haech: and they’re yellow

haech: my favourite pair :((

you: i don’t fucking care

haech: jeez what’s up with you

haech: you were all slutty just a minute ago

you: i want to sleep

haech: k then fine

haech: night

haech: wait didn’t you say jeno’s coming over?

“Hey, you alright? You’ve been spacing out lately… Y-You can talk to me.” Jeno halted your movements by taking place in front of you. “Jeno, we’re in the middle of the hallway.” You stared at him with warning eyes before he gave in and brought you to the lounge area a little further down the hall. There were many students there. Most of which are busy hunching over their laptops and probably wouldn’t even flinch if the building got bombed. The others however, were either sleeping or just talking. Sitting down across each other on two of the empty seats, Jeno cleared his throat and lifted his gaze to meet your avoiding ones. “Babe.”

You couldn’t look at him. Not after what you’d done. I know, I know what you’re probably thinking but there just something different about this time. It wasn’t like the countless times you’d slept with Haechan before. No. It was different. Was it timing? The feelings? You were yet to find that out. “Babe.” You heard Jeno call out for you again. Sterner this time. “Babe, what’s wrong?” There was a hint of worry in his voice, but you couldn’t bring yourself to answer him. To tell him the truth. Or rather, what he wouldn’t want to hear. It’ll hurt him. Bad. Like how it’d hurt any other person that’s going through what you’re going through right now.

A part of you could sense that he knew. That this was all a play to get you to come clean. On second thought, maybe it is better to come clean. Maybe that way, you wouldn’t have to hide anything from anyone ever again. But every pro has a con, doesn’t it? As I was saying, he probably knows about this little fling you have going with his brother. Yeah. Brother. It was a typical Saturday night when you first met him. Crazy am I right. You share a class and you don’t even know him. Anyway, you were hanging out at Jeno’s blah blah blah until… His brother comes into the picture. He was wasted. Probably stoned too. Jeno was scolding him for barging into his room but he said nothing. And then he left. Since then, every problem he had was yours. Every concern he had, was yours too. And vice versa.

So fast forward to a few months later, right now, with you having a potential serious talk with your boyfriend. Whom is sitting across you at the moment. Just waiting for you to say something. “I’m fine.” Your voice came out harsher than you’d intended it to be. You blame it on your dry throat. You noticed the way Jeno tensed up and the tone of your voice but you didn’t want to say anything. You felt bad, of course, don’t get me wrong. But your throat was drier than a dessert and you refuse to talk more than a couple of words. “You don’t seem fine. You know you can always talk to me if there’s something bothering you.” A smile was all you gave. Not an answer, a reply, just an empty smile.

Clearing his throat, Jeno continued as he stood up from his seat abruptly, “Well, I’ve got class so… See you at lunch?” you simply nodded. “Study hard, Jeno.” Oh God, what are you becoming. “You sound like my mom.” His eyes were squinting at you but before he left for his class, he gives you his signature grin with a wave to which you gladly returned. Sighing, you too got up from your seat and went in the opposite direction he did which you ended up bumping into your very own best friend. “Kia!” You exclaimed with an excited shout. “Y/n! Do you have class?” Kia questioned you suddenly. “Uhh yeah, I have English.” You noticed the way she rolled her eyes and that’s when you knew where this was going.

“You’re not asking me to skip with you, right?” Kia always skips. Don’t really know what she’s doing with all that time though. In your opinion, classes are a way to take a break from real life. A break from all the problems you have with your love life, family, friends, all of those. It also prevents you from doing anything dangerous or wrong. “Come onn live a little, will ya? We can go for a smoke, drink—” It wasn’t going to convince you the slightest bit. You’ve made up your mind and you’re sticking with your decision. “I don’t smoke, Kia. You know that.” You rolled your eyes at her. “Then accompany me.” And with that, she pulled you out of the building and to her empty place. “Where’re your parents?” You asked the moment you stepped into her house with her leading you to he bedroom. “They’re both at work. So it’s just you and me.”

Her room never changed. It looked the same, has the same aesthetic, and even smelled the same. Sitting on the edge of her bed, you watched as she pulled out a bowl and a lighter from the bottom drawer of her nightstand before laying on the bed with her stomach faced down next to you. Putting the slimmer end of the bowl between her lips, she carefully lighted the other end before inhaling a big breath of weed and releasing in with a long sigh. “Want some?” Kia looked at you expectantly when she handed you the bowl but you politely refused, “No thank you.” to which she replied with, “More for me then.”

The two of you shared a conversation for about less than half an hour until a curious question from her catches you off-guard. “What’s going on between you and Haechan?” You could sense your eyes going a tad bit wider than before but you tried to hide your shock. “What do you mean? There’s nothing going on between us.” Lies. Plain lies. You were hoping that Kia doesn’t find out. She’s gonna tell the whole world. “I see the way you look at him. You love him.” She took another inhale from the bowl. “What? That’s absurd. I love Jeno, stupid.” Lightly pushing her shoulder, Kia kept a suspicious expression plastered onto her face. “I know, I know. But there’s nothing wrong with loving two men at the same time, right? You don’t get to choose who you love.”

“Okay, I think you’ve had too much weed.”

“You can tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“About you and Haechan, obviously!”

You sighed for the nth time that day. This girl is really going to be the death of you one day. “There’s nothing going on between us, I’ve told you that.” Your annoyed eyes met hers before she continued. “But I don’t believe you.” Groaning, you fell on your back against the bed and covered your face with both of your hands. “Then don’t believe me all you want. I don’t give a fuck.” you said. “Okay, Sarah Hyland.” You heard the sound of the bowl being place back into the bottom drawer before you felt the unoccupied space on the mattress next to you sink and Kia was seen laying next to you with her arms behind her head. “So then… You’re not super duper madly in love with Haechan?” she teased.

“Kia!”

“Jeno, I… I just wanted to say I’m sorry about the other day.” You fiddled with your fingers as you sat cross-legged on Jeno’s bed. Coming over to his place has always been a thing between you two. You enjoy staying at his because his parents like you, the house is quiet, and because Haechan’s there. But you never really get to see him though. You’re always too busy with Jeno and whenever you do get the time to check on him, he won’t leave his room. “Hey, it’s okay,” Both his hands reached out to cup yours before bringing them to his lips and kissing them tenderly. “I’m not mad at you.” You could sense the honesty in his calm voice but you couldn’t help but feel even more guilty at the statement. “I— I shouldn’t have said that. It was wrong that I raised my voice at you but I swear that I didn’t mean it—”

Jeno’s grip on your hands tightened before he was staring into your brown orbs deeply. “Y/n. It’s okay. I’m not mad at you.” He repeated. Smiling, you leaned closer towards him before placing a small peck onto his left cheek. You watched as his cheeks heat up and his eyes widening by a fraction. “I was not expecting that.” There was a small chuckle followed shortly after and you couldn’t help but laugh along with him. Laying on your back, you pulled him from his seating position to lay beside you and gave him the warmest hug anyone could ever ask for. It wasn’t a shocker when he returned it just as warm. Shutting your eyes, you unconsciously melded yourself into his body and is now breathing softly against his neck. “That tickles.” Jeno muttered under his breath with an airy laugh.

“It does?” Blowing more air teasing onto his fair skin, Jeno let out a deep laugh at that as he struggles to pull away from your grip. “Babe!” You swore you heard a giggle leave his throat but that was the least of your concerns at the moment as you stared at his lips when he finally managed to pull away from you. You saw the way he slowly leaned towards you for a kiss and with you having the same thoughts, you instantly pressed your lips against him, almost too aggressively. But the two of you were slowly getting used to the aggression and now you’re both hungrily sucking away at each other’s faces. Usually aggression only appears with Haechan. So you’re a bit surprised when he responded your aggression with even more aggression. Woah, that’s a lot of aggression.

Maybe it was that that made you this way. Maybe you just needed a mixture of both to satisfy you. Maybe you’re just greedy. Jeno’s hand reached over to the back of your head before he was pushing you deeper into his lips. Smirking into the kiss, your lips discreetly trailed down to his jaw and began leaving wet kisses along his jawline. Occasionally sucking on the tender skin. Skipping his neck, you immediately made way to his clothed chest before stopping on left nipple and looking up at him with big puppy eyes. “Y/n.” It was a warning from Jeno. He doesn’t usually let you do anything to his nipples. It’s not that he doesn’t like it. It just makes him look vulnerable. And he doesn’t like that.

“Please.” You kissed his chest softly to make him say yes. You could see him pondering in his head and by the looks of it, you knew you got him. “Fine. But this is going to be the last time.” You both know that’s bullshit but for the time being, let’s not talk about that. Smiling sweetly at him, you raised your lips until it was sitting directly above his left nipple. You licked your lips before darting your tongue to his clothed nipple and giving it kitten licks. You could feel Jeno getting tense at the feeling so you couldn’t help but give a small smile. Attaching your lips to it, you gently sucked on the bud with your tongue licking it softly. “Fuck…” Jeno’s hand reached behind your head before pushing you closer to his chest as strings of curses left his parted lips.

Placing a palm to his exposed left thigh, you rubbed it up and down before your hand made its way higher up his thigh and into the space of his shorts. The closer your hand reached his sex, the harder he began tugging on your hair. “Y/n—” You could sense that he was trying to sound stern but it was a foul attempt. You lightly bit the perked nipple between your lips which caused a loud hiss to break out of your boyfriend. Finally, your hand was placed on top of his throbbing cock and was only separated by the thin material of his boxers. Playing with the elastic band, you heard Jeno mutter something above you that sounded like, “Don’t you dare.” but it was too incoherent for you to make out anything from it.

Lifting the band by a fraction, you inserted your hand into his confines before beginning to draw circles on his dripping tip. “Fucking hell, Y/n…” The sting when Jeno harshly tilted your head away from his chest didn’t last that long when his lips was all over your neck. Licking and sucking everywhere. Almost immediately, you started to stroke his cock at a fast pace, earning a few loud groans from the man opposite you. Suddenly as if time has stopped, he detached his lips from your neck and held your arm that was down his pants firmly and looked into your eyes deeply. “I wanna fuck you.” You were surprised to say the least. Of course, you wanted to fuck him too but you were still sore from the session you had with Haechan earlier. Though, you couldn’t tell him that.

“But I want to make you feel good…” You traced doodles on his soft hands. “Please, Y/n?” The look on your face was unreadable but it sure wasn’t an agreement. “J-Just the tip! I swear!” Jeno had his eyes so wide and hands cupping yours tightly that you couldn’t help but give in. “Fine… Just the tip?” You asked for confirmation and he nodded at the question. Sliding your shorts and panties down, Jeno instantly took his off and gave you an open-mouthed kiss as he slowly slid his hard cock inside you, stopping when it reached just below his tip. Your forehead fell onto his shoulder when you clenched yourself around him hardly. “Ah—! Don’t do that!” Jeno whisper shouted, only receiving an innocent giggle from you as a response.

“Sorry… Does it hurt?” Again, you tightened around him which earned yourself a tight grip around your hips. “Fuck yeah it does.” Smiling to yourself, you leaned in closer for a kiss to which he responded instinctively. Minutes passed with the both of you doing just that when the door suddenly flew open with a surprised Haechan by the door. Jeno lifted his head by an inch to peek at the unwanted presence by his doorframe before his eyes turned wide at the sight. “Haechan—” He wasn’t given the chance to finish his sentence when the other boy was already shutting the door close. Not forgetting to add a small, “I’ll come back later.” before leaving. You didn’t bother turning around to face him knowing damn well the look he’d give you would’ve been nothing less than a grimace.

The sudden intrusion caused you to pull back from Jeno with an annoyed expression. You can’t pretend like nothing happened and go back to whatever you were doing before when the guy you’re having an affair with just walked through the door. “Hey, you okay?” You hated the sound of that. The sound of Jeno being worried because of something you’re supposed to be guilty for. You hated how he always tried to make you feel comfortable. You hated it more than anything. “I’m gonna go grab a glass of water.” Reclothing yourself, you were about to twist the knob of the door when Jeno’s voice interrupted your actions, “Want me to come with?” which you replied with a simple, “No need.”.

You knew Jeno’s house like the back of your hand. Countless times you’ve been here which makes you sometimes realise that you spend more time here than in your own. Making your way towards the kitchen, you caught sight of a male figure leaning against the kitchen counter with his back facing you. It was terribly obvious that the figure is someone you know fairly well. Someone you’ve came to despise. Though, was it really hatred though? That, you are yet find out. Right now, as you’re walking towards the kitchen, you could feel your heart rate increase immensely. But you’re good at hiding it.

Reaching a hand to the glasses on display, you poured yourself some warm water before leaning against the kitchen counter next to Haechan, who also has a glass of water in his hand. “It’s late, y’know.” You told him with a sip of your water. “Thanks for letting me know, I definitely did not know that.” Said Haechan sarcastically which earned an eye roll from you. You didn’t know why, but there was this sudden urge to apologise. The thought of apologising to Haechan had never crossed your mind but tonight was different. “I um… I’m sorry.” Your gaze drifted to your feet unconsciously. “For what?” His voice was so unfamiliarly soft that you’d almost not recognise him.

“You know what for.” Another sip. There was a small chuckle coming from the boy next to you but you pretended not to hear it. “You shouldn’t be. He’s your boyfriend.” He assured. You twisted your head to look at him for a short while before you were back to staring at the cabinets in front of you. “I know. But you’re making me feel l—” Cutting you off, you heard a slam of an empty glass against the counter before Haechan was staring at you deeply. “We’re not having this conversation,” He paused mid-sentence as he turned around to walk away, leaving you with a stern, “Ever.” before he was out of sight.

Making out with someone that isn’t your boyfriend in public at a frat party really isn’t very ideal. Eyes are watching you everywhere and mouths were starting to talk. The music was loud, it really was. But the whispers around you were louder. You’ve got everyone talking about how you’re this little cheating bitch and honestly, you couldn’t care less. All you knew was that you had your arms wrapped around Haechan’s neck and his were on your waist. I know you’re probably thinking, ‘oh what happened at jeno’s place? is hyuck still mad at reader?’ Well, the answer to that is yes. Haechan is still mad at you but what happened in between is not for you to find out. At least, not right now. Maybe sometime in the future.

When the talking about you began to grow dramatically louder, you can’t help but wonder: where the hell is Jeno? It’s not like you wanted him to see you. Truthfully, you really didn’t. A hundred percent. You hated even the thought of it. You loved Jeno and you didn’t want to lose him. All of that thinking suddenly got you tired and you were slowly pulling yourself away from the kiss. Haechan probably noticed this when his lips began trailing to your exposed neck. A sigh could be heard from you but the loud music probably drowned it all. It was an unconscious movement but your eyes suddenly parted and started to look around lazily.

Until you spotted him.

The expression on your face changed drastically as you made eye contact with Jeno who was standing a few feet away from you. You pushed Haechan’s body away from you immediately which earned you a confused gaze from the boy. Giving him an anxious glance, your gaze switched back to Jeno just to see him making his way out the door with a red solo cup in hand. Instinctively, you pushed passed the wave of people hurriedly as you watched Jeno leave through the front door, abandoning the cup on one of the tables by the door. It took you no less than five minutes to finally reach him as you panted softly from the immense searching you just went through.

“Jeno.” Your voice came out hushed and you could almost spot a tremble in it. “Hm?” He turned around to face you with a small smile carved on his pale face. “I’m sorry. I-I know I say that a lot, but this time I really, really, really mean i—” Jeno had a puzzled looked plastered on his face as if he didn’t just see his brother sucking on your neck barely ten minutes ago. “Huh? What are you sorry for? What did you do?” Jeno reached a hand over to yours before caressing it with his thumb softly. You were baffled to say the least. Had he not seen you earlier? Was it just your imagination? Either way, you have decided that you were going to tell him tonight. And there’s no backing out.

“W-What do you mean?” You searched his eyes for answers but there were none. He was too good at hiding them. “You did nothing wrong. Why are you apologising?” Jeno took a few small steps toward you before stopping right in front of you with a soft gaze. “I— Haechan— I-I was— I have been—” You knew what you wanted to say but the words were refusing to leave your mouth as your eyebrows furrowed. Sighing discontentedly, you finally mutter the words, “I have been sleeping with your brother.” and the look on Jeno’s face was something that you’d never want to see again. “I—… It wasn’t an accident? O-Or like a one time thing?” He kept his voice low and you figured that he did saw you earlier but pretend not to because he thought it was accident.

The silence that engulfed you had him backing away from you slightly as his hands released their grip on yours. “Look, Y/n. I-I don’t want this to be the end of us. I love you. A lot. And if you’re having an affair with my brother, please… Please just don’t let me find out. I really really don’t wanna lose you.” The last few words that left Jeno’s mouth has your breath hitching as guiltiness began to fill you. From your churning insides to the thick of your bones and to your burning skin. He really loved you. He really did. But can you return the love he’s giving you? People always say actions speak louder than words and you believed it. So you knew there was no point in saying ‘I love you’ anymore if you didn’t mean it. Don’t get me wrong, you do love him. But the things you did while loving him doesn’t translate to that.

You often think about it. Ending things with him and each time, it just gets harder. But right now, as you stared into his deep brown orbs searching for any signs of hatred or disgust, you knew you couldn’t hurt him. And in order to not hurt him any further, you thought about doing it. Finally muttering the words you knew would break him, but at least he won’t break forever. So maybe, just maybe…

You’re letting him go.

that was very anticlimactic but we’re gonna shut up about it okay

tagging: @jaeminsbebu , @lovingvoidgoatee , @yesohhsehun

[janeaustenbrandysmuggler]

The Hitchhiker (you can run...)

Apologies if someone has already pointed this out. I'm new to tumblr, and I'm still digging through all the amazing Good Omens metas!

Shax-in-disguise appearing and reappearing on the side of the road at the very beginning of The Hitchhiker felt really familiar to me, and I finally figured out why. I think we can add a Twilight Zone episode that's (conveniently) called "The Hitch-Hiker"* to the list of film and tv references we get in the season.

*I felt especially dumb when Google told me this episode literally has the same title as s2 ep4. In my defense, I don't know the names of any of the other Twilight Zone episodes I've seen, either.

Not sure you really need a spoiler alert for a 60+ year old tv episode, but I'll put a break in anyway. Go watch it if you can - it's properly creepy.

A brief summary: Nan Adams is on a road trip from Manhattan to Los Angeles. She's gotten as far as Pennsylvania, when her tire blows out and she runs off the road. The mechanic who comes out to put on her spare tire comments on how lucky she is to still be in one piece. (More on that in a minute.) As she follows the mechanic into town for a replacement tire, she sees a man in a hat hitchhiking on the side of the road and passes him by. She sees the man again at the service station after getting a new tire and mentions him to the mechanic, but the mechanic doesn't see him. Once she resumes her trip, she sees the hitchhiker on the side of the road again. And again. And again. And again. The farther she drives, the more she sees him, and the more frightened and paranoid she gets. At the height of her fear, she's convinced the hitchhiker is trying to kill her, and she attempts to run him over in order to make it all stop. She finally decides to pull over to a phone booth in Arizona and call her mother to try and ground herself back in reality, and we get one final big twist to end the story.

When I realized that hitchhiker!Shax appearing and reappearing in front of the Bentley reminded me of this episode, I decided to watch it again because I hadn't seen it in years. What do we hear almost right out of the gate?

So lucky! You could even say she dodged a bullet there. Oh wait...

(I think he says "Chalk up a win to the side of the Angel" here, but close enough.) Interestingly, "the side of the angels" really just means "the good guys" these days. In both these scenes, setting aside the fact that Aziraphale is actually an angel, it's used in the context of "you survived something that could have killed you."

One other thing I didn't know before is that the Twilight Zone episode is based on a radio play, also called "The Hitch-Hiker," written by Lucille Fletcher and first presented on The Orson Welles Show in... 1941. Probably just a fun coincidence, but really, why does it feel like all roads lead back to 1941?

As for the final creepy twist in Nan's story? Her mother isn't home when she calls. The woman who answers the phone tells Nan that her mother is in the hospital. She had a nervous breakdown when she found out her daughter had been killed in a car accident in Pennsylvania - caused when her tire blew out and she ran off the road. Nan goes numb and walks back to her car. She pulls down the visor to look at herself in the mirror, and she sees the hitchhiker sitting in the back seat. He says, "I believe you're going... my way?"

So there we go - a wink and a nod to a tv episode with the moral that you can't outrun your fate/Death, in a season that sure seems to have a lot of references to death in it. By the time Nan sees the hitchhiker for the first time, she's already dead, she just doesn't know it yet. She tries running, but it all catches up to her anyway. By the time Aziraphale sees the hitchhiker, Shax is just about ready to trigger the events that lead to where we are at the end of the season. The precious, peaceful, fragile existence of the last few years is already dead, and no matter how much Aziraphale tries to outrun that idea by acting like There's Nothing Wrong...

...it all catches up anyway.

I have a more nebulous set of thoughts about the "side of the angels" line being seen in the 1941 flashback, and if I can get them in any type of coherent order, I'll link to another post or put them here. Something about that line referencing a lucky escape that isn't so lucky after all for Nan Adams, and how 1941 so far looks like a series of narrowly averted catastrophes for Aziraphale and Crowley...and how it really feels like we haven't seen all of the 1941 story yet.

[charmedreincarnation]

Hello! How are you? I am very good for now. because after trying for over a year I switched to void state last night very easily! it was an incredibly amazing experience for me. I stumbled upon your account on tumblr a few days ago, I saw a lot of people have succeeded with the method you suggested! I felt so happy for them!

Now I will tell my own success story.

I used to be so obsessed with it that I was just procrastinating and "trying" to get into the void when I had so much work to do whenever I had free time.

Throughout this process, I always thought that I would not succeed and always went back to the beginning. I was very bad with everyone around me, I was constantly fighting and exposed to violence. In short, I was experiencing hell on this earth.

Months passed and I decided to focus on my life a little bit. I tried to think positively and convince myself how easy it was for me to manifest. But there was one very important thing that I forgot, all the evil forces in this hell were coming only on me, only me.

I spent the whole of last year and the first months of this year like a living dead...

But in these last few days, I have made a decision that will radically change my life. Before, I tried every method to enter void constantly, but something was not going well every time. So I decided that it would be easier and more useful to just assume that I woke up there, rather than making dozens of efforts to enter void 2 days ago.

THE DAY I FINALLY ENTERED THE VOID CONSCIOUSLY!

I didn't listen to the subliminal, I just did a 20-minute meditation, my wish to revisit life in more detail. At the end of the meditation, I said only one affirmation: I will wake up in void tonight.

I wasn't tired and very sleepy that night (these are usually what people think is necessary for a void).I just lay on my bed in my usual position and affirmed that I would wake up in void at night. After that I already went straight to sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night, I didn't move. The sounds were so muffled, it's like you're listening to a song through a broken earpiece, that's how I heard it. I stayed like that for a few minutes, then the sounds suddenly stopped and I felt myself being pulled into the darkness. My heart was beating so fast, so I focused on calming myself. I couldn't feel my body anymore, as if someone was separating my soul from my body and floating it in a vacuum of space. That's when I realized that I really succeeded! And I calmed down for a while and then said my affirmations. I didn't make a special list, so I said it all one by one.

My manifests:

The face and body I dreamed of down to the smallest detail

My desired name, surname(i have two names in different languages)

My dream room and house with all the items on my Pinterest board(There were almost 50K pins on the board I mentioned...)

I overhauled my father as someone else entirely. With his nationality, zodiac sign, appearance, name.(I also added that he is a person who gets along perfectly with his 4 children and his wife!)

I made my mother younger in appearance, not in age, I also wished her a happy and peaceful life in every way.

As for our financial situation, my father is an extraordinarily wealthy businessman, we own the largest house and the most luxurious car in my city. We also have 4 modern apartments and 1 huge villa in another city! It does not end with these, we also have houses in America, France, England!

I also manifested new phone and other electronic gadgets.

We are 4 siblings in the family and we all get along very well, no hurtful words and no violence!

I have a private room for my unfinished clothes in my room and a very nice bathroom adjacent to my room!

I also manifested success in the lessons: no matter how long the paragraph is, it stays in my mind only once I read it and I never forget it! I do not have a single error in all the tests I have solved.

We have a total of 4 pets including 2 cats and a puppy and a husky dog. Our garden is huge, with a big swing, a covered area to sit in in the winter, and lots of lavender flowers, white roses!

By the way, I manifested that I have lived this life from the beginning, so our house is full of memories we have accumulated with my siblings and parents since childhood, our childhood photos everywhere, emotional diaries my mother wrote when she was pregnant.

I also manifested new friends to myself: one of them is famous (keep this part private lol), I wished to meet him since childhood. Apart from her, I also have a male friend who is our family friend and my best friend who lives with us.

That's all I wanted, I left everything else to my subconscious and my last sentence before leaving the void was "I will open my eyes to the life I dreamed of".

Finally, when I came out of the void, I heard my brother's voice, scolding me for turning off the air conditioner in my room and leaving it on until morning, and saying that he would be very upset if I got sick. (it did indeed come true more perfectly than I had imagined! )

The reason why I wrote my success story and the life I manifested at length is this: most people limit their desires and try to make do with less. Believe me, I was thinking the same way a month ago, thinking that living the life I wanted was unfair to the people in my life. But lately, thanks to what those people did to me, I realized that all this time I had been unfair to myself, not to them. After realizing this, I reminded myself that I only deserved the life of my dreams.

And now that I'm who I should be, I'm pretty happy with it. I can't thank you enough  my dear. The success stories you shared motivated me a lot and helped me take action.

I am so proud of you my love. I absolutely adore revision stories as well as the usage of intention which is my personal favorite method. No method is stronger than your will to have your desires. Thank you so much for sharing your story and I hope you continue to always live your best life <3

[bby-blu-swirll]

sit on my lap while you do my eyeliner - bakugo x reader

i can't find it now, (i will tho if it kills me) but this is inspired by this tumblr post i saw on my pinterest that was like " 'let me do your eyeliner' gf and 'okay sit on my lap while you do it' bf" lol

pls enjoy xx

bakugo loves your makeup. (he loves your natural face just as much, but he also thinks you look drop dead gorgeous no matter what.)

his favorite days are when you pull out the eyeliner pen. when you look at him and your eyes are rimmed with black, bringing out the hue of your irises, he just folds honestly. subtly, because his pride is too strong to let anybody see him so weak for you, but you've definitely picked up on it.

he loves anything you do with it. a wing, big or small, a messy grungey outline, drawing hearts or stars, anything. he loves watching you do it with such attention to detail and even more loves seeing the finished product and how it might have changed the shape of your eyes. whether it's soft and cute and gives you little doe eyes, or sharp and cutting like a knife, pulling your eyes into dangerous (& admittedly sexy) slits, he adores it.

he doesn't show it much, though. he's not as bad as compliments as you thought he'd be, really, but this is just a bit different.

he can call you pretty, gorgeous, hot, whatever- all he wants. there was no problem there. especially, in front of other people. it was almost like bragging to him.

like once, in the middle of a conversation with the bakusquad, he caught your arm as you were walking by just to press a kiss to your cheek and tell you that you looked beautiful. of course he meant every word of it, but there was a silent emphasis on the fact that he was the one you got to tell you that, and that it was very true. it was like his way of being able to say, "suck it, extras, that beauty is my girlfriend," without sounding like the cocky douchebag he usually did. (bc he knows you don't like it when he's such a cocky douchebag <3)

but complimenting such a specific part of you was a bit more difficult, and he wasn't quite sure how to articulate it. he knew he liked it, but he wasn't sure why. he just thought you looked sexy and sweet like that.

like you did today.

it was one of those lazy saturdays for the both of you, where you slept in a little and kind of just floated through the day, maybe go out maybe not, maybe make out on your bed, who knows.

it was close to half past ten when you were finally up and at your vanity, doing your makeup for the day. your boyfriend was spread out and taking up most of your bed while he studied for the test you had on monday. you thought he was a bit of a nerd for spending one of his only mornings off on school, but you admired his dedication.

neither of you liked silence much, so soft music filled the quiet in your dorm, along with the occasional page turn from bakugo, usually followed by a sigh.

you capped your eyeliner pen with a huff. you had been looking at your face so long, it was hard to tell if it was even. "hey babe?" you turned your swivel chair to face him.

"yeah?" he didn't bother looking up from his book.

you pressed the closed pen to your cheek and blinked a few times. "does this look okay?"

he glanced up for a moment, doing a double take when he saw you. there was no concealer on your dark circles and your eyeliner was smudged underneath your eyes and your lips looked a bit cracked, and he could feel his stomach swell with butterflies the second he looked at you.

"yeah, its.. its perfect." he looked away and cleared his throat, hearing you chuckle slightly.

once you turned around in your chair, his eyes were glued to you. just watching you sort through your makeup tray, trying to find something. the way you knit your brows together, your bottom lip stuck out- his quickly averted his gaze back to his book when you turned to him. he could feel your eyes trained on him as he thumbed the corner the pages.

"hey katsuki?"

he hummed in response, still not looking at you.

you stood up and slowly sauntered towards him, smirking when his eyes flicked up to you every few seconds. you took his book and set it aside.

"the hell are you-" he clenched his jaw when you leaned close to him, still standing. he dropped his voice to a soft tone, just shy of a whisper. "what're you doing, huh?"

"can i do your eyeliner?"

he chuckled and smirked. "'course.."

you grinned and took a seat next to him, your face heating up as his hands found your waist. he lifted you up and set you on his lap, wrapping his arms around your torso and holding you close. his smirk grew as a blush crept up your cheeks.

"just as long as you sit... here." he pecked your lips, mindlessly stroking his thumb across the skin just above the waistband of your pants. "you can start whenever, babe, i'm not stopping you..."

you huffed and bit the inside of your cheek, internally rolling your eyes. his cocky smirk softened a little when your fingers delicately cradled his jaw, turning his head slightly.

"close your eyes..." you kept your voice low, watching his eyes flutter shut.

his skipped a beat when he felt your breath on his lips. he took deep breaths, just inhaling whatever lotion or perfume had you smelling so good.

you bit your lip and did your best to keep your hand steady. it was hard to keep the lines straight when he would squeeze your hips occasionally. but you prevailed nonetheless, keeping the ink close to the rim of his eyes. you were going for a sort of rodrick look.

"okay.." you clicked your tongue and capped your pen, setting it to the side. "you're done~"

he opened his eyes slowly, a playful look dancing across his features. "well? how do i look?"

your breath caught in your throat. his red eyes glowed, half lidded and staring right into you.

"hmmm..." you brought a hand to his chest, the other messing with the hair at the base of his neck. you traced small circles across his skin. "handsome."

"yeah?" he took your cheek in his hand, pulling you closer to him. "that all?"

you shrugged and chuckled a bit, watching his cocky grin return.

"hm, you think i'm hot. coulda just said so..." he pressed his lips against yours softly, which quickly changed to a rough, demanding kiss.

looks like you did end up making out on your bed,,

totally meant to upload this over a week ago,,, my bad lol i've been very busy, sorry this is so crap lol i'll probably rewrite it in the future <33

love you sm !! stay safe & sleep well 💗💗