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calciumdeficientt · 3 days

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it’s almost october which means it’s halloween. happy Halloween. let’s get fucking spooky baby.

2335 words of ooky kooky spooky goodness, the payoff is pretty gross so all the triggers i can think of will be tagged accordingly

comms are open if ya like what ya see

There was something underneath the school, at least that’s what Gary was trying to tell everyone. But no one would listen to him, he was the boy who cried bullshit, no one really cared what he had to say, he was a pathological liar. Currently he was in the social area of the boys dorm, trying to get Jimmy and Pete on his side. It was going…. less than swimmingly. “Jaaaaaaaames, I wouldn’t lie about something like that now would I?” he quirked his slit brow, lounging sideways over Jimmy’s lap, where the other boy’s hand landed on his forehead with a satisfying plap“Yeah yeah Gary, isn’t lying your whole MO?” Gary stiffened, damn. He had him there. “I’m serious this time… people haven’t been going to classes” “Oh whoop-dee-do sound the alarms, Bullworth kids aren’t going to classes! What sort of world are we living in?” Jimmy sneered, seeming over the whole thing already. Pete was stood behind the couch picking at a hangnail, he knew he shouldn’t believe Gary, but with all the weird, unexplained creepy stuff happening around Bullworth, he couldn’t help it. It was so insane, that it circled back around and… it was kinda plausible. “Jimmy maybe he’s right, something insidious is going on around here”

Gary shot up from his lounging position to get right in Pete’s face “You sure you’re big enough to toss words like that around little Petey? Insidious?” Pete ran a hand over his face fretfully “Shut UP dude, I’m agreeing with you” “Hehehe…. insidious, what a nerd. Right Jimbo?” “Lay off man,” Jimmy swatted at the back of Gary’s head, the same kind of motion you do to a misbehaving dog “Pete, don’t worry about it… we’ll go check it out tonight, okay?” that was exactly the last thing Pete wanted, but he knew that Jimmy was just trying to calm his nerves about the whole thing “Okay Jimmy”

They reconvened outside the basement just after curfew, having snuck out through a window using tied up bed sheets like they were old-timey prisoners instigating a breakout and had scattered in different directions just in case the prefects tried to play cowboy and round them all up. Gary had all the stuff: flashlights so they wouldn’t wake the janitor by using the main lights; many, many large knives big enough to kill a bear if that was the root cause of the disappearing students; pepper spray he’d lovingly handmade in chemistry class; and a half-empty box of matches. They huddled around the door to the basement as Gary fiddled with the key “Cmon man hurry up” “Patience is a virtue, James” “Shut up, asswipe. One more run-in with the prefects and I’m outta here on my ass, move it” Gary rolled his eyes and continued unlocking the door at his pace, just to piss off Jimmy.

Eventually, he did manage to open the lock, and get all three of them inside. The basement had a weird smell; damp, mouldy but almost… clinical. That was disturbing because it certainly didn’t look very clean, you couldn’t really even blame it on chemical storage because all the chemicals were either old and empty or new and still in their boxes. Pete was lagging behind Gary and Jimmy, a position he wasn’t very happy with, in case something snatched him off when the other two were bickering. Then again, ever the overthinker, he wondered if they’d bother to protect him if he was in the lead.

Eventually, they reached a crossroads within the lower floor of the basement, with three intersecting paths; this was odd. Gary had checked the floor plan, there was nothing like this anywhere on it. How he’d gotten the floor plan was anyone’s guess but somehow, some way, he had. He strode forward, pivoted and put his flashlight under his chin like he was a grandpa telling ghost stories to his traumatised grandchildren “I’m goin in. there… I need to see if I can find something” Pete’s hand shot forward as if to pull Gary back but it was promptly slapped down by Jimmy who gave him his best ‘please god don’t encourage him’ face.

Gary strode off into the abyss, leaving Petey and Jimmy sitting ducks. “You think it’s true, Jimmy, all those rumours?” Jimmy raised a brow, too busy playing with a selection of small stones on the floor of the basement to pay any real attention to what Pete was saying. “What? No. Let’s think about it this way, Gary’s a lunatic and everyone here wants an excuse to cut class or skip town. There’s nothing down here… Gary’s just being Gary” Pete didn’t exactly know what to make of that, he bit his lip a little bit and fiddled around with the beam switch on his flashlight “But Jimmy I mean…. even the preps were talking about it… they don’t have any real reason to lie, right?” Jimmy turned to Pete, deadpan “Derby Harrington tells everyone he’s a natural blonde, Bif Taylor tells everyone he’s got a girlfriend, Justin Vandervelde claims he has friends! The preps lie all the time and so does everyone else. It’s mass hysteria Petey, don’t get sucked in.”

Pete sighed, and tried to relax a bit. He sort of half slumped but even then that positioning still looked stiff and forced. They sat quietly for a while, waiting for any sign of life from Gary and eventually… they got their answer. A long, high pitched, blood curdling scream that could have only come out of someone in deep trouble, interspersed were little gurgles and cries. “GARY!” Pete bleated, up on his feet and running towards the noise in an instant, god what a moron. Jimmy, while wanting to wait it out and leave Gary to what may or may not have been down there, got to his feet and followed Pete as he chased down the noise. At the source, they found nothing, no Gary. No blood. Just his flashlight. Jimmy already thought it seemed fishy but seeing Pete totally freaking out put a little bit of doubt into his mind “Hey, man, It’s okay. Maybe he got scared and bolted.”

The pair of them began to traverse up the hallway, Pete scooped up Gary’s flashlight with trembling, clammy fingers as they passed it and they kept moving down the long hall. The floor was a different texture, it wasn’t concrete anymore but linoleum like the kind they had upstairs in the science labs. A strange design choice for a hallway no one ever goes down. Pete stopped suddenly just as they were reaching the end, holding an arm out to block Jimmy from moving. A little ways away, there was some rustling, then a heavy footstep. Before they could turn and bolt back the way they came there were more and more heavy thuds until suddenly something pounced on Pete and he went sprawling to the floor, crying out for mercy. Jimmy whipped his flashlight onto the figure and of course… it was just Gary, he leered over Pete, grinning like he’d just won the lottery “Ha ha ha! I got you nerds. Oh Petey you should’ve seen your face!” Pete kicked up at Gary, eventually gathering the nerve to stand and give him a good shove “Not cool Gary! Jesus Christ!”Gary’s smirk widened into a full on beam, all teeth. “Relaaaaax, no harm done, just a little practical joke amongst friends, right James?” Jimmy squinted, admittedly he had been just as scared as Pete if not more, but he was excellent at hiding it “Don’t drag me into this, it’s too late for your bullshit Gary” Gary plucked his flashlight out of Pete’s hand and continued to walk towards the end of the corridor, completely ignoring any and all criticism from his two friends. The trio trailed along the hallway in relative silence, save for the squeaking of their shoes against the linoleum. Jimmy eventually broke through the tension, turning to Gary “What are we even looking for down here anyway? It’s late, I have a history test tomorrow” “Patience James, patience” “Oh my GOD will you quit it with the patience bullshit and just tell me why we’re down here playing Scooby Doo at midnight for God’s sakes” Gary paused, regarded his watch despite knowing full well it was busted and looked down at Jimmy “Anything unusual… clues and such” “Oh how very informative, I’ll get right on that, inspector gadget” Gary snorted “Oh Jimmy, first we were playing Scooby Doo and now all of a sudden this is inspector gadget? You need to pick a fantasy and stay in it”

Petey began trailing behind, his heart was still leaping against his ribs like it was trying to barge its way out of his chest. The rhythm was akin to that of a racing horse on the track, beatbeatbeatbeatbeat. It was incessant; and not unlike what he imagined it felt like to have a heart attack. The thought of hightailing it back to the boys dorm and lying flat on his back, sleepless and utterly petrified of what turned out to just be his friend, did cross his mind but he knew if he ran off he’d never hear the end of wimping out of their expedition for the rest of the semester at the least and possibly, his life at the most.

“Besiiiiiides, Jimmy we have everything we need to play Scooby Doo. A damsel, a pointless mystery, a fearless, and handsome leader and… well James, you can play the dog” Gary drawled, gesturing limply to the quivering Pete and to Jimmy before proudly pointing to himself with his free hand. Jimmy squared his shoulders and sighed. Being a little ways back and in no way involved in their stupid argument, Pete managed to find a passageway that the two bickering idiots had managed to miss “Guys…” “See there’s your problem. You think Fred is cool” the passage was dark and lined with some sort of heavy metal, kind of like the door to a safe. It was ajar. “GUYS!” the pair snapped their heads around to Pete, surprised by his sudden outburst. “Don’t worry Pete, think of it this way, two christmasses!” “Look I don’t care about you guys’ stupid fight… I found something” Pete narrowed his eyes, turning back to the door with a grimace. The entrance was cold, much colder than the rest of the basement. It felt like one of those walk in freezers you go in to scream where you work in a restaurant. “Weird, this isn’t on the plan” Gary grumbled, looking down at the crudely drawn recreation of the basement’s floor plan with disdain. Of course Pete had found it, and stolen his thunder. “We should go in, scope it out” Pete faltered. That seemed like the exact opposite of what they should be doing, they should really have been getting going and trying to forget all about tonight. “Sure, I wanna get this over with” Jimmy grumbled, taking the lead and storming down the corridor. It was damp, and significantly warmer on the inside than they’d first thought. It felt more like a meat locker than a freezer.

Soon enough, a few weak bulbs flickered to life, activated by the motion of their exploration. Reluctantly, the three clicked off their flashlights and continued down the hall, making note of the narrow walkway and the lack of damp smell. It was clean, it was medical. The walk was short, and they once again found a heavy door propped open. Like it was inviting them in “Ladies first” Jimmy huffed, grabbing Pete by the collar and tossing him over the threshold, knowing that if he didn’t, Pete would have frozen dead on the spot. Gary followed and then Jimmy.

In front of them was a deep pit, not unlike the hole, as well as the smell of more chemicals and an unpleasant warmth. Pete wandered a few more steps and paused, all the colour from his face draining. He looked sick… he felt sick. “What Petey, what?” Gary grumbled, striding to join Pete as he leaned over the edge of the hole. Jimmy stashed his flashlight and forced himself between the other too boys “Holy fucking shit… oh god”

In the centre of this deep pit was a large mound of flesh, so wide that it was beginning to fold to the shape of the basin of the circular pit. The skin was pulled so taut that it was thin enough for you to see every pulse of blood coursing through its engorged veins. It moved up and down steadily, rising and falling in a lethargic rhythm. It was breathing. “Oh god, oh god” Pete parroted Jimmy, getting paler and paler until he eventually couldn’t take the sight anymore and turned to paint the concrete with his half-digested meatloaf. Gary was circling the rim of the pit with a practised precision, looking for a face, or some equivalent. Jimmy stood where he had, utterly entranced by the pulsing of its blood in a sick sort of way. Too intrigued to look away, too grossed out to keep looking.

Eventually, Gary managed to find a face, and not just one. Many. Very very many. The faces of practically every person who’d vanished in the past days. They weren’t stitched together either, they seemed to have amalgamated together, and weren’t all that aware of each other’s presence or their own. They’d become a sort of hivemind, to a degree anyway. Some of them were weeping, others appeared to be making noiseless pleas for help. All of them had blank eyes and no hair. Not even eyebrows.

Jimmy stumbled backwards, herded up the thoroughly ill Pete and the pair of them ran off wordlessly. Gary reluctantly followed them, but there was no doubt in his mind he’d be back for this thing, to antagonise it if nothing else.

There was something under Bullworth academy. Pulsing. Breathing. Evolving.

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miraculouslumination · 7 months

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I am all for assuming good faith, and interactions inherently stemming from such a place. However, sometimes I feel that there is a special flavor of underlying insult that comes with the way some people approach the topic of transphobia specific to transm&ms. You'll see someone start out with "well, yeah, of COURSE transmasc and trans men deserve to have a word and space to discuss their issues!" Which is great. It's supportive, it shows that they have an open mind, and are open to these discussions.

Then they sometimes follow it up, however, with a very loud "BUUUT" or "HOOOWEVER" or "ALTHOOOUGH". Now I'm left sitting there, absolutely befuddled. Thinking, why? Why does this conversation need to have so many caveats and takeaways?

It's never followed up by anything new, either. It's typically either, "BUT other trans people always have it worse. Forever and always doomed to be the universe's wettest most unfortunate little trans warriors." Or "HOWEVER, just don't go forgetting, little dumb trans boys, that you are at risk of falling for MISOGYNY by discussing your problems" or "ALTHOUGH, these problems are never AS bad as other trans groups. Just ignore the long history of suicide and erasure in your group! That...that doesn't count. That's not REAL suffering." Or something along those lines.

It's just this pattern of people making a complete statement "I believe that transmascs and trans men deserve a word and space to talk about their issues" before tacking on some comment that, in my opinion, undervalues their original statement a LOT.

And you never see this in other discussions of gender! At least, not in the broader world. You never see people warning enben and abinary people that "yeah but if you have your own word/space, JUST REMEMBER that you'll NEVER have it as bad as this OTHER GROUP"

Arguably, this is because we still live in a time where enben and abinary people are often hit with "you don't even exist at all so you can't POSSIBLY have your own UNIQUE issue", but I digress

Why is it that people seem to have this idea that if transmascs and trans men are allowed to have a word + space to talk about their issues, we'll just rapidly devolve into slobbering misogynistic wolves who are always looking for another woman - of any type - to rip and tear down because "BUT MYYYY PROBLEMS!!!"

Why? I mean. We all know why. It's unchecked prejudice and biases. But, still...why?? Why is it so hard to just leave it at "I believe that transmascs and trans men deserve their own word + space" without adding something else. It's a waste of breath, data, and time.

#Jean rambles #I don't know I just feel like a lot of y'all seem to forget #That a lot of us were - at one point in time - women #Like sorry but when I was the only girl in my 5th and 6th grade class #And the boys would often torment me with jokes about how ugly I was #How I was stupid and weak by nature of being a girl #How they were always going to be better than me because they were boys #That doesn't suddenly go away!! Because I'm now a guy too!#The trauma of those years doesn't magically poof away as my body produces more testosterone #I knew a girl growing up and she was bullied just about every damn day that she was in school #And it was for a lot of reasons #And misogyny was one of them #And that girl was fucking ME.#Suicide tw #Suicide ment tw

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carrieway · 2 years

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carrie white does not like violence ! she hates the paintings her mother has of all the sacrifices, the hell burrning, anything grotesque and depicting people suffering ! her favorite painting in their whole house is one of a lamb sleeping on a hill, the only thing seemingly at peace amongst her whole life.

she has thoughts of violence and internally wishes she could harm others- but what victim of severe abuse and bullying wouldn't ! carrie's mother treats her with such rage, it's no wonder she wants to share that same rage with the people harming her at school- it's what she was taught. however, she doesn't know if she is allowed to feel such a way, if she's allowed to even hate the people around her, because her mother shoots down every attempt of support/advice/comfort seeking with a curt dismissal or bible verse that may or may not even apply. she tells her they hurt her and her mother says suffering is good for the soul then moves on- but they still hurt her. her mother will not protect her, so she has to learn to protect herself. in the end, she is horrified by what had happened, what she did to all those kids at prom, because just like the stones that rained on her home as a small child, she was pressed and pushed and shoved until her own brain couldn't handle it anymore. she had every chance to enact revenge on her peers at any moment, she could've found chris hargensen herself and done away with her, but she didn't. she tried to get along with them until the very end, because she always hated those paintings of god's burning wrath.

her whole life, from her contraception to her birth to her adolescence to her death, has just been shame and violence. it's really no wonder why she prefers the painted lamb that manages to sleep in a world she feels terrorized and trapped in.

#im talking about carrie white again your honor i know i said i wouldnt #but how can i NOT #carrieposting #btw when i speak of carrie it's a mix of all three movies the book And the musical #so if things sound off it's probably just bc . it's from the musical or the 2002 movie or the 2013 movie or the 1978 movie or th-#(not the squeakuel they made....i haven't seen it yet n i do plan to but that movie is faaarrr off from the og plot so.)#abuse mention #abuse ment tw #abuse tw #bullying mention #bullying tw

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zorkaya-moved · 2 years

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Zarina vc: Almost comedic how even when he wants to top, Tartaglia behaves like a needy bottom today. He's failing my classes.

#❄ ― IN CHARACTER. ╱ you breathe by the sun，i breathe by the moon.#narvvhal #IM WHEEZING ZARINA STFU STOP BULLYING THE MAN #suggestive tw #not safe for view ment tw

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casawio · 8 months

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middle school cas would listen to crywank on loop while studying and then be like "Why does nobody like me why does nobody talk to me :(( Im so misunderstood" then listsn to cw to relate. vicious cycle

i was soo emo except i was the "ugly fat autistic kid" so i couldnt really pull off the skinny jeans look. i mean highschool cas is also like this but with less graphic tees from old navy and more taobao reseller blouses

#tw weight ment #i guesss ah #ask to tag #tw bullying

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kris-the-yan · 9 months

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not really a vent, but uh, basically something that's been affecting me for a while actually

Tw for sui mention, bullying

So, for a while I haven't even understood myself very well and I think I just figured myself out more and why I'm the way I am, pretty much

So basically, I've figured out that there's a pretty good chance I have autism, and here's why

Since I was little I've actually preferred to teach myself on several things (for example I refused to let my parents teach me how to read), and there were at least a couple of minor delays (for example, a speech delay), however they were so minor that no one would even think anything was really wrong with me even today.

I've always been super attached to fiction, even with being restricted to only a few things I like. Overall, I'd say fiction is my biggest interest.

I also find myself to lean towards animals more than people in general, which apparently is common with autism I guess?

There's also the thing I struggle with noise, there's certain noises I hate and I especially don't like loud noises. There's also certain foods I avoid due to their texture (ie applesauce). Also, I hate brightness outside.

Now here's why me saying I'm autistic is important: it's actually what provoked my peers to bully me in school, especially the one who did it the most (who I won't name).

The first time being in more social situations was actually when I used to go to church, which was only on Sundays. I don't remember how I felt around, I think I remember feeling safe around the other kids, solely because they were nice to me

That was about, maybe a year before 5th grade, when I went to an actual school (a christian private school), which meant I was with other kids, daily (also the time I got over my fear of using public restrooms. Not going into detail on that don't ask me)

I was shy, very shy. There were times I've actually cried there. I even went to outdoor school for the first time, which I actually got sick due to nerves (however I chose to stay because my best friend at the time was there too)

Speaking of them, we actually became best friends because we were both in 5th grade (and it was before we realized we were non-binary, at the time we were the only 5th graders who weren't boys)

But I also excelled academically, I got plenty of awards because of this.

6th grade came, and I was actually going to a public school) because private school was getting too expensive for my mom) and, *oh dear god.*

That's actually where the trauma actually started, I was bullied big time. Sure there were a few kids who picked on me every now and then, but there was this one asshole who was mean to me. He even said to my friend IN FRONT OF ME that I was "weird" and "annoying".

This also spread into junior high, he would still be mean to me from time to time, but it would happen less often because we were in different classes (in 6th grade he was my classmates, unfortunately).

Now, I wouldn't be as shy as I am today if it weren't for the trauma that I went through and if I was actually treated with respect. My fucking 6th grade teacher had the audacity to tell me that I was telking on this kid "for attention" even though it was an ongoing issue that nobody was doing anything effective about. Nothing fucking worked.

Anyway, I was also put in advanced math, which was great, which meant I can avoid being in the same class as him. I saw that I I was better than him, academically. It was how I could avoid feeling like he was more powerful than me. He mentally abused me, but why not show that I can be better than him, the bully?

In high school, I was always pushing myself to be better, especially in my classes; not only that, but I could actually handle being in those honors classes. Honors math and science. I even took some college classes while in high school. I was ahead of most of the kids in my grade, and was with basically the smartest kids in my grade.

That meant everything to me, not only because I wanted a reason to be better than that kid who bullied me, but also because I kept getting praised for being on top of the class. By my parents, and even the teachers. I had high expectations for myself.

Everything was alright, until after the distanced learning that everyone went through.

I eventually experienced what I believe to be burnout. Spending nearly all my energy staying on top of the class, and not focusing enough on what I wanted to do after high school.

Those high expectations I held for myself, trying to keep up with all that? Trying to have better grades than my bully so that I didn't feel so weak against him? That basically shattered my motivation. Now I'm basically stuck with a job that won't even keep me living in an apartment long enough without getting evicted due to not affording rent, along with food and other expenses.

So I graduated, now what? All that energy spent on trying to be the best overall, barely allowing myself to fail, now I'm not even sure if I even want to go to college at this point.

If you've seen my mental breakdowns on my vent accounts, breaking down at even the simplest things, well, trauma basically refused to let me grow out of it, so now here I am, sill a sensitive person, sensitive to criticism (hence why I talk about having RSD).

And now, because of that, because of how sensitive I am, if I get very unhappy (which happens often) I usually talk about wanting to kms (sometimes I even think about it, as well as wanting to harm myself, although I don't actually do that because I'm afraid of the pain). In my opinion, I think my mental problems basically manifested around age 18-19, since that's when my mental problems seem to have worsened.

I also experience a lot of self-hatred, that I'm very sure co.es from getting bullied basically for being myself.

So, now what? I've figured this out, I understand myself even more, but what else do I do with it other than letting you guys know why I'm the way I am? Why I break down easily and why I'm shy, and why I'm so... weird?

Maybe not feeling much emotion has to do with this trauma, maybe some of it has to do with autism, maybe both?

Now because of all this, I cam say I most likely need therapy, but I don't know, I don't really want to see one either, most likely having to do with how I prefer to do things on my own.

Tldr: I figured out that I'm more than likely autistic, which provoked other kids to bully me, which led to trauma, which led to my mental problems I show.

Now even though I basically self-diagnosed myself, I don't want to get a professional diagnosis, as that can jeopardize me being able to get a driver's license or even living independently, even though I may actually have the mental ability for that.

(Sorry if this is hard to follow, if you want me to explain other parts let me know)

#kris talks #sui #<-ment #tw bullying #tw trauma

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justamessedupdisneyprincess · 5 months

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TW VENT

TW D*ATH THREATS, S*ICIDAL THOUGHTS, TRAUMA AND ABUSE

I JUST FEEL I NEED TO GET THIS OUT BEFORE GOING OFFLINE

Alright so…I think I am gonna go offline again for another long while, go back into hibernation. I was feeling good at first being back but I can’t help but feel anxious atm. Nothing bad happened to me (surprisingly), but I can’t help but always worry if I may somehow make a fool of myself or mess things up again. I actually did find out whilst scrolling through old onward posts that some of the girls who gave me a hard time had deactivated their accounts. I feel a bit safer in that regard. But it just sort of feels too good to be true you know? I can’t help but feel like there’s a danger looming somewhere.

Idk if it’s just my anxiety, trauma or if my gut is telling me something.

Before I go I just wanna say a few things. Thanks for showing me some support. I know I am not perfect, I am far from it. I have a horrible habit of overanalysing things and getting worked up for little to no reason. For that I am sorry and I am so so so sorry if I ever made any of you worry or even hurt any of you if I ever have any of my bad panic attacks. I have a terrible anxiety disorder, I am not using it as an excuse but just to try and explain myself. I am doing my best to get better and have finally found some therapy and new medication to help.

However I will say there have been times where my meltdowns were necessary, such as when I got called horrible names and got d*ath threats and saw posts with rumours about me or posts calling me “A disgusting freak who should get fucked.”. I think those ones are worthy of crying over because honestly who wouldn’t, anxiety or not? You would have to be inhumanly strong to feel nothing when dealing with all that.

I have a lot of trauma, even before the few mean girls on tumblr in the Onward fandom. I had been stuck in an abusive platonic relationship for a year and the falling out was rough. She got super vengeful and almost destroyed my life in ways I won’t get into. I had people I looked up too suddenly gaslight me and make fun of a scared teenage me who was seeking help when I felt suicidal. Literally an ENTITE fandom harassed me nonstop. I selfshipped with another character before but a lot of people were angry at me for that. They were so obsessed with their own ships that they saw me as something of an eyesore getting in the way of the ships they like, so they bully me for self shipping with him. Some even tried to manipulate me into self shipping with another character who I had no feelings for and giving up on my fictional ex so he can be shipped with another canon character. My abusive friend tried to do that with me and far worse constantly. The onward fandom actually really supported my self ship for the most part. I have nothing to do with that old fandom anymore but it did turn up on my dash and it was more of the same sort of old chaotic drama. It is literally the most toxic fandom on the fucking planet and it destroyed my love for that show. Hell, I even started blocking any blog related to it I see just to help myself feel safer! Part of why I did deactivate my old DA account was because I wanted to get away from all that. I did have a few fans who wanted me to keep drawing for it but I got threats almost daily as well. I wanted to focus on Onward but many didn’t exactly respect that. There was a lot more to why I deactivated but that’s the gist of it.

I won’t get into more details but you can probably understand where I’m coming from with all this. Trauma and an anxiety disorder don’t mix well AT ALL!

If I had to guess I think that is why I am still so fearful of being online. I fear something will go wrong. Either if it’s another bully or if I make another mistake.

I want to apologise to anyone if I have been annoying, stupid or anything like that. I am doing my best to recover and learn to cope with my mental health bit by bit. I just hope you can understand, forgive me and enjoy your life.

I am still drawing and writing as much as I can while offline. So when I do eventually come back it’s gonna be like an explosive of content from me LOL

I kinda feel like it helps too, it’s so it’s not like “when’s the next part coming, when’s the next part coming?” If I already have the next part ready and in the works. Idk, I’m just trying to figure out how to share my artwork while still managing my mental health.

Sorry for randomly venting, I just really really feel I needed to get it out there desperately. Again, thanks so much for showing me support!

I am definitely fucked up in the head but I am doing my best to move forward, it’s just kind of slow is all but it’s better than nothing right?

#so glad I finally got actual good therapy #trauma ment tw #tw low self esteem #tw trauma #tw vent #tw abuse #tw bullying #vent #venting #mental illness #mentally ill #mental health #anxiety #trauma #onward

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oc-aita · 1 year

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AITA for kind of kidnapping a whole group of people?

You see, I've been alone most of my life. My dad died when I was young, And my mom and step dad weren't the kindest. I kinda let a bunch of kids pick on me just so that I'd have more friends. Fast forward to now, I'm athletic, A star on the football team! Well, I was before the parasitic infection broke out. A bunch of incredibly confused fellows (a few infected which were immediately quarantined inside of the cells in my basement) were found inside of this mansion. I immediately filled the place with gas, Since it had been breached with parasites. I knocked them out with the gas, Put my gas mask on and retrieved all of the non dead survivors! They woke up in my home, Some in cells as previously mentioned. Well, They aren't allowed to leave. We're likely the last alive, And need to start reproducing eventually to save the planet. I'm not gonna force them, But they do have to stay no matter what. I'm gonna die soon, I can feel it. I just don't wanna die alone you know?

So let me ask again: AITA?

#original character #am i the asshole #aita #death tw #bullying ment #ask to tw

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cuupidsss · 4 months

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HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, can I request a poly sbg x fem gyaru reader who gets bullied by Barron and his friends? (Angst but a very fluffy ending) :3

ARGH !! I’ve seen you requesting and I like this request <3 I’ll try my best, I’m gonna keep it simple but I hope you like it ❤️☺️

Tw: physical and verbal bullying, it’s nothing crazy though 🤓

You had always been expressive. Since you were young you had always liked to dress and act any way you liked. In middle school you dressed scene and now that your in high school you’ve decided to expire ment with Gyaru and let’s say your attached to the style.

You’d never think of giving it up but lately it hasn’t been easy keeping the cute look up. A couple of jocks have been bothering you. It’s just been some cruel words but your scared it’s gonna get to something more.

They’ve embarrassed you several times, you’ve mellowed down your outfits because of that. Mostly keeping the look. You don’t want them to think they’ve got the best of you. Your makeup and hairstyles haven’t changed at all but your outfits are less vibrant.

“Look at you.” You hear from behind you. You push your lips together. You don’t wanna look behind you, the classroom is pretty much empty and the class door is wide open. School is over, and your the last kid wandering. Atleast you thought.

You hear giggles behind you, you don’t turn to look, you don’t wanna see their ugly faces.

“Look at me, cmon you can do it.” He taunts you, you turn your attention to him, growing irritated. “I knew you could do it, cake face.” You sigh, your makeup is smooth as fuck and you know it but you can’t help but feel a little insecure.

You grab your things, you bag is cute and all but it’s not cheering you up. You throw your bag over your shoulder to leave before your pulled back harshly. You don’t fall, but you stammer.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” You scream angrily, clenching your teeth together. Barron looks at you, a little shocked but his face quickly changes to some twisted amusement his friends and him laugh at you. You feel so embarrassed and encased in this situation.

“What are you three doing?” You hear from the door. Tyler, you’ve never spoken to him before. You think you have one of your classes with him but you can’t remember, “your supposed to be outside practicing with us Barron.” Barron looks at Tyler and sighs, rolling his eyes. His attention goes back to you before smiling.

“Whatever.” You’d smile back if you didn’t knew he was taunting you. You look at Tyler. You rub your arm. Barron and his goons have left and it’s just you two.

“Thanks.” You say before rushing out quickly, that was humiliating.

—

The next day it’s nice outside. You can’t help but think of the utter embarrassment you’ve felt all day. Your on the bus, no seats are open and you look like a lost dog. You hear someone pat their seat, you look over to a cute red headed girl. She doesn’t seem particularly fond of sharing her seat but she does it anyway.

You sit down and take off your bag, you put it at your feet quietly, you take up as little space as possible.

“Hi, I’m Aiden what’s your name?” A boy behinds you says excitedly, you gasp silently. He scared you a bit! You look back at him.

“Hey, I’m (name).” You say timidly, you didn’t have a lot of friends since Barron kept messing with you, others don’t wanna be involved. Aiden smiles, just a little wider.

“I like your hair clip!” He says pointing at it, you smile, you see the girl next to you look over at you, you look at her. Her freckles are incredibly charming. She nods at you quietly before going back to whatever she was doing. A boy next to Aiden just waved before sitting back down.

You fix your bedazzled Jean shorts and cardagain before smiling at your shoes.

“Thanks man.” You say, you fiddle with it a bit. The bus comes to a stop and everyone starts loading off, you grab your bag and rush off.

—

Home room was fairly boring, you shared a home room with Barron so him throwing paper at your carefully sculpted pigtails was the only entertainment you had. Why did he bully like a Disney character?

The paper balls were really heavy though, when you picked one up off your lap you opened it and there was a flipping eraser in it. You squeezed the eraser.

“(Name), pay attention please sweetheart.” You teacher says, you look up. She’s going over todays schedule since the classes will be switched up a bit. You nod, she was really sweet so you couldn’t ever be mad at her.

Bam. Straight to the side of your face. A thick ass eraser too. A couple kids look back at you holding your cheek and frown. They can’t do anything.

Once class ended you slowly left, you waited for most people to leave before your teacher stops you. She asked if you were okay and you give her a half assed answer, she asked because you looked tired? How silly.

Once you were out in the hallway you contemplated in skipping, your next class was fairly boring. You sighed and decided to. You walked to the least popular bathroom, and threw your stuff in the stall.

Your only in there for couple minutes before a girl comes in to use it. Except she doesn’t, she knocks on the stall.

“Hey, is (name) in there?” She asks, her voice is kind. You clench your jaw.

“Yeah..” you stand up and open the stall. You look at her.

It was Taylor, you’ve spoke to her once or twice. She looks at you, a little concerned.

“Are you skipping? I’ve never seen you skip before!” She jokes before continuing. “I just wanted to ask if you were okay. I’ve seen Barron.. well I’ve heard he was being a jerk to you.” You clench your hands together.

“Ugh, yeah. I have this class with him so I just skipped.” You say, you fiddle with bracelet. She frowns.

“Let me know if he tries to pull anything else, okay?” She says, smiling, she wasn’t looking at you with pity but with sympathy. You nod your head.

“Yeah, I will, thanks!” You smile fondly at her. “Well, I’m just gonna go sit in this stall now for another thirty minutes.” She giggles before waving you goodbye and leaving.

—

It had been a couple weeks since the encounter and you were in the back of the school. Once again school had ended, this time you had stayed after for art club. You were gonna take the city bus home. It was raining but you had a umbrella. Suddenly your falling and you fall into a puddle, wrecking your cute outfit. You look up and see your umbrella several feet away from you, before it’s picked up by someone. Barron. You close your eyes and feel like your about to cry, this is way to stressful. You look at your tights and skirt and frown before you start just sobbing. A full on mental breakdown.

At first their laughing before you start screaming Bloody Mary. Then their gasping.

“Shut the hell up! Someone’s gonna-“ before one of Barrons goons can finish, he’s hitting to hard grassy floor. Another one runs off before Barron starts running too. You look up and see several people. This is so dumb is all you can think. Looking at your shoes. Your so mad so so mad.

“Hey, are you.. are you okay?” Taylor say, she’s so sweet. She helps you up and picks some mud out your hair. You look at her before drying your face and clearing your voice.

“Uh yeah, I’m fine.” You say, pulling a little lays bit of mud out of your now messy hair. You feel someone tap your shoulder. Aiden.

“We should probably go inside.” Ashlyn says, the freckles girl with the long braids. You remember her. You all walk inside quietly. You look at your watch.

“They took your umbrella.” Tyler says annoyed, “I didn’t know they liked sailor moon.” He says referring to your themed umbrella, you laugh a bit at his remark.

Ashlyn told you you should probably go wash the mud off your face. You nod before going to the school bathroom. You pull out your gym clothes, just some simple black shorts with a corny shirt. They got cleaned yesterday and you haven’t used them so you just put them on. You wash the mud off your face, sadly that means you have to take your makeup off. Your okay with it, as long as your not being bullied in the rain.

You take out your hair, that proved difficult cause of the hairspray but you did it. You quickly threw it in a low ponytail before leaving the bathroom. Taylor waves you over, the Logan kid next to to her.

Aiden and Ben wave aswell. You walk over.

“Hey, just wanna say thanks.” You pull your bangs behind your ears. They all nod.

“Those guys are pains, aren’t they?” Aiden says, he still has that funky grin on, it suits him well.

“Yeah! They ruined my favorite tank top.” You mutter our. Ashlyn looks at you.

Tyler speaks up. “Let us know if they keep picking on you.” You get a sense of deja bud before you feel someone hug you.

Taylor. “I’m so glad your okay, I was worried they were gonna do something like that!” She rambles with a pouty face, “I’ve never seen you without your gyaru makeup, your cute with it and without it.”

You smile brightly. “You know what gyaru is!?” You say, your pretty shocked.

“Yeah, I started researching it after our talk two weeks ago!” You smile, no one’s ever taken interest in your style with you.

Suddenly everyone’s asking you questions, and you feel flustered. You’ve never felt such joy, you feel appreciated. Cared for even, you blush at all the attention.

“Oh! Yeah, gyaru can just be a style and it comes from many Asian country’s, there’s different kinds too!!” You answer another question. Ashlyn asked this one, she seemed more interested in the background information of it.

It felt like hours where you guys just talked but it was just a couple minutes. Eventually you all had to go home but it was such a humanizing experience.

You look through your phone, looking at the photos you took with the group while you guys walked around the school. You smile and fiddle with your hair.

For the first time in a long time you were excited to go to school the next day.

Jeez!! I hope you liked this! It’s my first time receiving a request ❤️‼️ thank you for requesting I’m really great full! I hope you like it and have a good day. :3

#tyler sbg #taylor sbg #logan sbg #ashlyn banner #aiden clark #ben clark #tyler hernandez #taylor hernandez #sbg x reader #school bus graveyard #cute #fluff #gyaru fashion #gyaru #sad reader #sentimental

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princessmanamia · 4 months

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(The following is age regression related, if you dont like it dont read it, please and thank you!)

Caregiver Billy x Agere Fem Reader

(Post star court billy)

A super long, Hella fluffy, drable

TW: cursing and uh idk cigarettes (i mean its billy hargrove)

(I DO NOT CONSIDER MYSELF A GOOD WRITER SO SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE LONG ASS DRABLE)

✨sleep tight little bunny✨

You feel like You’ve hardly slept in the last 3 days. The nightmares were back again, To be fair the coming of cooler weather brought the fear that the residents of the upside down might return. It had been several months since the star court incident. Although Life for the most part was..well….normal again? The group had now gained a new member, Billy, which…definitely took some getting used to.

Needless to say the near death experience and learning about the horrors of the “upside down” changed him. Billy was no longer a complete ass to steve or max, hes still a bit cold and stand offish but nowhere near the levels from before. With Billy now in the group that ment one more classmate got to learn about your…um quirky tendencies? Well thats how you’d like to put it to others who dont know, but to the group of teens you hang out with…they know it’s a coping mechanism. Steve, Robin and dustin deal with your age regression the most, although the entire group of kids know and occasionally set up “little days” just being carefree.

Billy however is still a bit confused by all this. it’s definitely weird, not as weird as being attacked and nearly killed by a giant monsters, and being around a girl with superpowers but still odd and new? His summer experience had completely changed him, the old billy would have made your life a living hell. Hes tried to be sweet and brotherly, believe me it peaks through, but he also knows you tend to hide your “little side” if hes around (Steve and a couple of kids let him in on that part). Hell he used to be a bully, he gets it, the fear was still there….though He’d be lying if he wasn’t curious as to why group was so fond of “little” you

But here we are…..

Somehow you found yourself being picked up by none other than billy hargrove.?? Uh what?

All you wanted was some fresh air.

You were just sitting on your front porch steps, head down in a sleepless daze with your leg bouncing from being just overall tired and jittery. When a familiar car stops out front.

“Hey!! You seen Harrington?” You slowly looked up and shook your head.

“nope sorry hes still at work”

“Damn it”

“hes not off work for a couple hrs, what do you need?”

“Nothing…it’s personal, you ok? You look like hell.”

“Oh fuck you, it’s also personal” you groan and rub your temples looking up at the grey clouds that gathered above.

“Uhhuh, ya sure about that?”

“Look im ok I just haven’t slept much in a couple days.” You didnt even bother looking back down but You could tell Billy’s blue eyes were just staring you down, and after a few moments you heard his car door open. “Get in” Billy had leaned over to open the passenger door. You didn’t want to go with him, but you didn’t want to feel like a sitting duck in your own home either so you groaned, made your way over and plopped down on the seat. It was pointless to argue with him, so you sank into back of the car seat and looked over, “uh ..so whats the plan here exactly?” “Gonna kill two birds with one stone” he mumbled as he took off in the direction of Steve’s place. “Umm ok? And why do I have to go along?”

“You get to nap at Harrington’s place and i get grab the stuff he borrowed from me.”

You looked out the window and chuckled “damn is it that obvious? Do i look that bad?” You tried to sound sarcastic.

Billy glanced down, noticing that you were back to anxiously bouncing your leg again Unfortunately yeah” you felt a hand press down on your knee causing you to jump as u gave billy a panicked look. He raised his hand to back off and huffed “easy with the leg thing, it shakes the whole car, and yeah i know you tend to sneak off to his place to nap anyway..” his brows where knit with concern “you sure your good..? Look i can stop and get you something or..” “no im ok” you cut him off and turned your gaze back to the window.

The curly haired blonde took a deep breath and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, trying not to get angry with your short attitude. He bit his lip for a moment thinking of something to say to bring you back to your normal self. You definitely have seemed off for about a week now, and dustin had mentioned something of importance a few days before? But what exactly was it? Was it maybe needing a regression day?

“Y/n…doll, when was the last time you, ya know..?”

He shifted in his seat following a short pause

“Uhh? U wanna finish that thought or what?” You glanced back, looking irritated and exhausted.

He took a deep breath and softened his tone “when was the last time you were small?”

The car fell silent and You simply shrugged and mumbled. “Hell idk few weeks maybe? Why exactly does that matter to you?”

He knew where this was heading, the inevitable “push back”. But he still wanted to give it a shot since both main caregivers would be at work for several more hrs and you clearly needed some TLC.

He pulled into Steve’s driveway and killed the engine. Billy tried to keep his tone nonchalant to avoid making it feel weird and looked at you from the rear view mirror “i mean i dunno ..Just seems like you might need it?”

“I dont need shit from you” you mumble, as you got out and slammed the passenger door. Yep just as expected. Hargrove bit his lip again and stepped out behind you, as you grabbed the spare key the family kept hidden and stepped inside, practically collapsing face down on the familiar couch in the living room.

‘This is gonna suck’, billy thought.

Steve had already given him a heads up that gaining your trust wouldn’t be easy. It required a-lot of compassion and understanding, but Billy was determined to try. Plus It kinda got under his skin that even Nancy and Johnathan had talked about baby sitting moments. What exactly was it about all this that you have everyone wrapped around your finger?? How hard could it be? He’s taken care of some kids before.

Billy slipped upstairs to search for two things, 1. The cassette tapes he lent to Steve and 2. The baby bag. Steve had mentioned beforehand Having an essentials bag stashed away if anyone ever needed it, although the dumbass never actually told him WHERE it was though. Of course the idiot had it buried in the back of his closet. He pulled it out and went digging through everything the bag included:

☑️A blanket

☑️A couple over sized shirts, and pjs

☑️coloring books and crayons

☑️Baby lotion, powder and wiped

☑️A couple pacifiers

☑️A stuffed bunny

☑️A mix of baby bottles, sippy cups and cups with straws

☑️And a couple pullups

Billy did a bit of a double take of its contents, somewhat confused (and amused). He sat there for moment contemplating how to go about this, pushing his hair back and pacing for a moment before slinging the bag over his shoulder and going back downstairs for a cigarette. He looked over at Y/n still sprawled out face down on the couch. “You still alive little bunny?”

“Omg just leave me alone” you groaned. Billy sighed, “sorry doll but you’re stuck with me until steve gets off work” he called out from the kitchen and stepped outside to get quick smoke break in. Lightning the cigarette, and only taking a few puffs and pulled a few things from the bag, unsure of what you might actually need.

Blanket? Yes always

Stuffed animal? Yup

Sippy cups? Maybe?

Pacifiers? …Ive seen her nap with them in, but she probably wont take it willingly, but sure.. cant hurt.

He slid one into his pocket and somewhat anxiously took a couple of long drags on his cigarette before putting the rest out and slipping back inside. Doing his best to be as quiet as possible.

He took a deep breath and walked over to the living room, gently placing the bag on the floor and sat down crisscrossed in front of you. It was barely audible but he knew he could hear sniffling, he sighed again And reached out rubbing your head for a few moments. “Hey you need to try to sleep, look im gonna stay with you till steve gets home”

You didnt even bother look up, but shook your head.

“Billy im fine, just go home…please?”

He tried placing his hand under your chin in an attempt to get your attention. “Y/n, look at me?” His voice was soft but stern. You still refuse, trying to bury your face back. Anything to avoid eye contact.

Billy placed both hands around your cheeks, resulting in a whimper that almost made his heart drop. Your eyes still refusing to open, but a damp face and tear stains dont lie. He ran his thumbs along your cheeks trying to wipe away the new tears that were forming. “i know im the LAST person you want to deal with right now, but i also know you NEED this, im not judging you, i will never judge you for this. Do you understand?”You continued to fight his hold on your face, but the resistance was all for not. He was intent on getting through to you, in one way or another. “Y/n its fine” You took a deep breath Finally meeting his gaze, tearful (🩵💙💚🤎 colored eyes-)stared back. You whimpered again as a few more tears welled up. Again billy wiped them away and inhaled deeply, almost testing the water, he softened his tone “babe listen, im watching after you until your daddy gets home, but you HAVE to let me in ok?” Whimpering, again you shook your head trying to shake off billy’s hands, you could just feel the heat rising to your face. This felt like a cruel prank, billy would never!

“im not doing this today!!” You cried. With soft sobs making your breathing ragged

“Yes you are sweetheart, you’re exhausted and you need it now please just come here.”

He Finally let go of your face. While still sitting on the floor he opened up the bag next to him pulling out a few items. “Please little bunny, just let me help you get to sleep, look we’ve got some comfy clothes, your blanket, and i can grab you something to eat or drink while you change ok? Sound good?” His voice went from stern to pleading.

In horror You glanced at everything in the bag, damn it, thats why he brought me here!!!

“Jesus christ Billy you went through all my stuff?!” You shoved your face back into the couch pillows, as more hot, angry tears welled up, you just wanted to curl up and die.

Completely humiliated that all of your little stuff was sitting right in front of both of you. Billy stared you down for a few moments before pressing his forehead against yours “nuh-uh, enough, right now your under my care, so NONE of that, now go get changed,” he got up in huff and walked back towards the kitchen “and while youre at it, pick out a cup, im making sure you get a snack before your nap!”

“Ya Grouchy little shit” he mumbled the last part under his breath

In a daze and still softly crying You sat up. This couldn’t be happening right?

The former school bully actually trying to play babysitter right now?? And what was with his tone? What kind of fever dream was this? Hes never been this…gentle???

But damn it if he wasnt right.

You needed little time.

LIKR FUCK Wrong place wrong time,

….but You gave in.

Hesitantly you pulled up the duffle bag your momma and daddy kept hidden and dug out one of the oversized shirts, a soft pair of pj pants as well as one of the brightly colored sippy cups with a straw. You pushed yourself up off the couch and paused for a moment, nervously glancing at billy, whose back was now turned towards you and placed the cup on the counter before going to the bathroom to change. ‘For the love of god Steve better get back asap’

Billy scrounged around steve’s kitchen trying to find something simple to make. Finally settling on a pb & j (sweet boy has no cooking skills, bless him). He looked over at the cup you’d set on the counter and grinned pressing his tongue to his cheek, of course you picked one with a straw. Although he would have been happy to try to give you a bottle. Maybe a bit embarrassing for both of you but he’d do it. Billy thought as he filled cup with apple juice from the fridge.

Oh shit, i should probably turn on the tv too while im at it.

Going back to the living room he laid a blanket on and the floor in front of the tv and switched it on. He flipped through a few channels leaving it on some kids show (insert any old 80’s kids show) He looked around somewhat proud of his baby sitting skills and grabbed the plate and sippy cup gently setting it on the floor. A few minutes later you shyly peeked around the corner still trying to wipe away some tears.

Hargrove tried his best to sound sincere “hey kiddo, made you a p&j and got some juice, that sound good?” You wouldn’t meet his gaze, but just shrugged, your face felt hot and more tears threatened to fall. Just feeling ashamed and utterly embarrassed.

“Ok Angel c’mere” the pretty blonde made his way over to you and scooped you up causing you to squeak in surprise.

He chuckled and sat you down on his lap a few feet away from the tv. He could feel how shaky you were.

“Can u at least try to eat for me? Its not like it’s poisoned” He picked up the plate and set it on your lap.

You just looked at it for a moment. Seemingly dazed, then shook your head, you could feel billy exhale in frustration or maybe it was concern but he tried again. “Kay, how about i take half and you take the other?”

You didnt say anything but simply took the half closest to you and tried your best to munch on it. Billy on the other hand quickly downed his half and tried to think of some way to get you a bit more calm. He was more used to doing …umm things a bit more adult rated?? so in a slight panic his best effort was to comb his fingers through your hair. Surely that would be ok, Girls like that stuff right?? If that didn’t work maybe rocking would help??

He lucked out, it didnt take but a few minutes before he could feel you press the back of your head against his hands. he grinned, “ooh? You like head scratches huh?” He cooed

There was a soft whine in response, as he kept going, and he could feel slowly you sink against him. He bit his lip and tried not to smile this normally wasnt his thing, but you’re oddly adorable in this state.

“Ok cutie, ya feelin any better?” He murmured while still running a hand down the back of your head.

You shrugged and grabbed the sippy cup sitting next you, and billy took the opportunity to move the plate off your lap when he felt something his hand. More tears? Had you really been silently crying this whole time?

He looked down, your eyes were still red, and tears were silhouetted in the light of the tv. He took the sleeve of his shirt and tried wiping your face, which only resulted in a soft whimper and you stubbornly trying to turn your head away. It was all billy could do to keep from laughing. You really were being an overly tired toddler trying to fight sleep huh? “Sweetheart” he cooed “im just trying to clean your face, can you sit still for bubby?” With eyes clamped shut and Still whimpering you try your best to comply. He did his best to dry your face, but your eyes and cheeks looked still looked so red. He looked at you for a moment, sighed and reached over. Grabbing the duffle bag still sitting on the floor he pulled out a stuffed rabbit and a blanket. Billy practically threw the blanket over his shoulder and picked you up with the bunny still in the other. “Alright cotton tail, plan B, i know ive seen your daddy do this a few times” he gently toted you over to the recliner in the corner of the room. Sitting you both down.

You didnt even fight him at this point, only more soft whimpers of protest remained as you pressed your face into his neck. He wrapped the blanket over your shoulders and offered you the stuffed bunny tucking it under your arm. Billy tried softly rocking the both of you, he had seen Steve do this on 2 occasions, (not that you would know though since you had already been KO’d for awhile and He’d be lying if he ever said he wasnt jealous of steve for it either.)

Your eyes were tired but they still refused to shut, and you softly whined again as You turned your gaze back to the tv.

Even in this state with Soft whimpering And sniffles it was all he could do to not smile. Billy rested his chin on your head and tried shushing you while rubbing your back. How are you still fighting sleep? The soft smell of baby powder wafting from your blanket would probably be enough to lull even him to sleep on a normal day. Surely its comforting scent should be doing the same for you? Wait, Billy mentally slapped himself, duh he did put a pacifier in his pocket earlier. He gently shifted you to one side and he tried to fish it out of his pocket. “Shhhhh sweetheart, here would this help?” He opened up his hand to let you take it. You feebly took it but instead of putting it in your mouth you played with it between your fingers. “Too shy? Go figure” billy thought to himself.

He took it from your fidgety hands “no baby, open up” there wasn’t even a sound of protest you simply opened your mouth just big enough for him to pop it in. “Oh good girl” he whispered and kissed your forehead, causing you to press your face back against him.

Billy chuckled and shifted you again so you were lying completely against his chest before going back to lazily rocking the both of you.

With both of you now fixated on the tv He watched out of the corner of his eye as the pacifier softly bobbled up and down, following the soft occasional suckling sounds. He grinned and pressed his chin against your head, inhaling the scent from your blanket that was still draped over your shoulders. This was blissful. He’d admit it, he could now understand how you had Harrington wrapped around your fingers.

As far as billy was concerned The horrors of Hawkins could fuck right off. At the moment the teen would do anything to make this last. He’d fight off anything if it ment you’d still be in his arms.

He closed his eyes for a bit but continued rocking you. He could tell your breathing had slowed,though there was still the occasional sniffling, but at least the pacifier has stopped the whining. “Shhhh little bunny, you need to sleep” he murmured and combed a strand of hair over your ear, gently stroking your cheek. Glancing back down at down at you with one eye open it looks like you finally may have crashed. Eyes closed, still softly suckling on the paci.

Fuuuck that’s adorable. Billy thought as he continued rocking. A few minutes passed until he was certain you were asleep. He finally decided it was safe enough to recline the chair back so both of you could get a nap in before steve got home.

——— later on————

Steves pov

“Oh no, no no no, what the fuck is HARGROVES car doing in my driveway??

Jesus Christ not again!!” He groaned as he pulled up to curb in front of his home.

He got out slamming the car door and mumbled under his breath the whole way to his front doorsteps.

“We talked about boundaries, but noooo of course none of that got into his thick skull” he muttered loudly as he opened the door. He was immediately met with loud shushing which caused him to jump.

“WHAT IN THE HE..”

“SHHHH!!”

He snapped his head towards the direction of noise only to see none other than billy hargrove with a finger to his lips and the other hand over your head.

Steve blinked in confusion then lowered his tone as he went into the living room “what happened!??” He whispered.

“Long story, but i took care of it” billy grinned sleepily. “Shes been out for about an hour n’ a half, but do you think you can take her, i gotta take a leak?”

Steve laughed as he carefully pried you off billy’s chest careful not to wake you.

There was a soft whine but you must have known it was steve since you buried your face in his neck and hummed “baba” in relief.

“Hi baby, daddy’s home” steve cooed

“And thank god cuz bubby has to pee”

billy chimed in as he finally got up off the recliner and booked it down the hall. Steve decided the best thing to do was get you upstairs and in bed before he questioned billy further.

He made his way up the stairs and into his bedroom, trying as gently as he could to lay you back down without (completely) waking you.

You let out a soft whine of protest before you were hushed again by a pacifier and the soft worn covers of your daddy’s bed caressing your body.

“Shhh baby, daddys here,” steve cooed as he laid down next to you, rubbing your back in hopes that you’ll drift off again.

Moments later there was a soft knock on the door. Steve glanced back to see billy pulling out a carton of cigarettes and mouthing “ill be outside” steve gave him a thumbs up and rolled back to attend to you. He waited until there was soft snoring before he rolled out of bed and crept back downstairs.

Meeting billy out by the backdoor, he crossed his arms. “Ok so what the hell happened exactly?”

Billy took a long drag and exhaled “she was in a mood and I handled it? Also next time it might help if you actually TELL ME where the emergency bag is.”

“Wait u went through my room?!”

“Not the first time Harrington.” He chuckled. “Besides your girl was exhausted and hadn’t been sleeping, so yeah, I stepped in, and handled it just fine”

“She fight you on it?”

“Eh not really,”

“Are u shitting me? She bit me the first couple times!”

“Guess ya wore her down for me, or she just likes me more” he flicked the cigarette butt and smirked at Steve before heading back inside.

“Yeah fat chance” Steve murmured following him.

“Just so you know, if you ever need me to watch her last min, i dont mind” billy said looking back over at the recliner he’d been stuck the last two hrs. Steve grinned following his gaze then glanced around the living room at the various contents of the diaper bag that had been thrown about. “Not that weird anymore huh?” He said crossing his arms

Billy grinned and just shrugged “Never said that..just seeing it differently now thats all”

#little space #age regression #agerespace #age regressor #sfw agere #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove x agere #agere stranger things #agere billy Hargrove

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im-notbean · 1 year

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Punz x Soccerplayer! Male!Reader

Summary; Your cousin Karl Jacobs invites you to be his plus one at twitch con, let's just say your day got better after you lost your game.

TW; Use of real names, reader had ADHD, reader is tall, Dream get's bullied a lot, reader is V E R Y flirtatious, swearing, kissing (lol), kinda gets ✨spicy✨ at the end, harassment, homophobia, let me know if theirs more!

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION- I don't want my work posted anywhere but where it is at.

Key;

Y/F/N; Your favorite number

Y/N; Your Name

Y/L/N; Your last name

Y/H/C; Your hair color

Y/H/L; Your hair length

Y/E/C; Your eye color

Y/T/N; Your team name

NO matter how much you told your cousin Karl that you wouldn't be able to be their on time, he somehow got you to go to Twitchcon. So of course he told his friends who never even herd of you before, which is very unnatural you played forward. They would recognize you based on looks rather than name.

So that's how you ended up losing your game by 1 goal, which pissed you and your coach off, you were team captain and one of your best team leaders, and players for that matter. Being in the top 5 teams, ranked 3 currently, means that all of you teammates cared about the sport to go professional. But today, you guys played like shit to say the least.

Currently you were getting swarmed by fan girls who tried to get you to notice them, you signed a boy's jersey who got his sister or friend to back off that had your number on it, Y/F/N, honestly you liked people like that. Rather than the player they care about the game, and have favorites obviously, but still.

You called your cousin after you got in your Uber, you and him liked these calls it always cheered you up. Maybe it was because you both had ADHD or had similar taste or that you were close in age. Honestly you guys didn't know, you and Karl has always just clicked.

"Karl." "Yes Y/N?" "Help." "Why?" "We lost, and played like shit." "It can't be that bad-" "We lost to the 6th ranked team Karl Jacobs. It's bad." "Oh...well shit then- CLAY SHUT THE FUCK UP IT'S MY MALE COUSIN." "One. WHO THE FUCK. NAMES THEIR CHILD CLAY! Two. Who's Clay?" "Ask his parents, he's a friend of mine Y/N" "Tell him he is named after a minecraft block." "CLAY! HE SAYS YOUR NAMED AFTER A MINECRAFT BLOCK! YEAH? WHAT YOU GONNA DO THEIR 6'4!!" "I am 6'5 actually." "I MENT 6'5!!" "Put Harden Clay on the phone" "Nicknames so soon...make him laugh and then call him a tea kettle." "Understood."

You heard rustling from the other end of your phone, you arrived ar your hotel and took your bag out going into your room on the 6th floor. Putting your phone on speaker as a new voice was put on the phone.

"KARL WHAT THE FUCK." "Danm Hardened Clay don't dish my cousin like that. Very rude ya' know." "Hold up. You single?" "Yes. But I don't wanna date someone who is named 'Clay'" "Just call me Dream." "Ok looking you up now. I get to do more burring if you're faceless that's nice." "Blurring? Do you not like you're face or something?" "Yep. Sheesh I forgot about how much I work out...dang these abbs don't lie." "Ok...I wanna see now." "Put it on facetime Nimrod" "Geez ok. ACK KARL WHAT THE HELL!" "Tell my cousin he needs to chill out" "Karl...your cousin wants you to chill out. Geez fine yeah I won't tell anyone." "So...you want to see my abbs or not man?" "Yeah- Sorry zoned out, ADHD" "I feel you man...not in that way of course-" "You just made it weird, oh well I'mma pull up facetime now."

You sighed, the face came up on the screen with a smile. His brown fluffy hair with his emerald eyes and a slight stubble on his chin. Oh yeah, did we mention that you are a flaming homosexual? Because you are. Anyway, you turned the camera the other way towards the mirror you had in the hotel room. You turned on the light, giving Dream a better look at your abbs.

"Damnnn...how often do you work out?" "Every day, except game days." "Game days? Karl what do you mean...he's who?" "Your dumb as fuck." "What? How?" "Google Y/T/N forward Y/F/N." "Okay...Oh fuck I am dumb...how did I not realize you were Y/N Y/L/N." "Because your really fucking dumb." "Karl asked if your going to Twitch con, says your his plus one." "Yeah I am, your smart in this shit. What do I wear?" "Probably a tee-shirt and pants" "Great advice. Give my cousin his phone back." "Why?" "Because I need to know where to tell my uber to go for this...place?" "The event?" "Yup."

༺ T I M E S K I P ༻

You stepped out off the Uber and located Karl and some of his other friends. You toward over most of them except for one, Ranboo. You didn't know him that well, but you two instantly became best friends. You also met Dream, who you very often bullied through out the night. But out of everyone you met, their was one person who you fell head over heals for. Punz. You asked Sapnap about him.

"Hey Sap." "Yeah, what's up Y/N?" "Who exactly is that?" "That's Luke, also known as Punz." "He's kinda...cute"

You were sober with a cup of alcohol in your hand. You sipped at your cup absentmindedly as you looked at Punz face immediately becoming dusted with red. He was talking to Dream and obviously you had to bully him some more. You started walking over to him and slaped Dream in the back of the head.

"Someone who is as dumb as you should not be talking to most pretty boy in the room, Dream." "Oh...WAIT WHAT?" "You heard me idiot. Your amount of dumbness will rub off on him. He's to pretty to be dumb." "I'm right here-" "I'm saving you. Trust me." "Damn, hey I'll take it." "Punz really?!" "What? According to him I am the most pretty boy in the room, and who wouldn't take that as a compliment." "Your outnumbered Dream~" "Ugh, Y/N you don't even know Punz." "I know his name and that he's hot. That's all I need to know really." "That's gay." "I am gay though-" "What the fuck." "Dream. I have been flirting with Punz the entire time. I made it plainly obvious that I was gay." "I am really am that dumb." "Yeah yeah, shoo bitch." "Fine. Nice chating with you Punz."

Dream started to walk away from you two and you swung your arm around Punz's shoulders and started laughing. Punz was also trying to not laugh but he obviously was failing. You moved your arm off Punz and the two off you started talking and drinking more and more, this went on for an hour or so. You both were drunk by this point and decided to go to Punz's room, since it was closer, obviously. Once you two drunkenly walked into Punz's room you started talking again, but this time it was much more... heated. And I mean much much more heated.

"No no no, 'cause *hic* I've had girls like grope my *hic* ass before. And I'm s-standing their, all sweaty and shit 'cause I just like finshed a game *hic* and I'm all like I guess were doing this now and my teammates *hic* they know I'm gay and stuff and they just *hic* push me along as I move away the girls hand from my ass. But she gripped it even tighter and now this bitch's nails are diggin into my skin so *hic* my teammate gets security and she now has a retraining order." "Damn, *hic* that mudt suck balls for her." "Eh I guess, but I didn't really give a fuck *hic* as long as she's away from me and shit." "Hm, has anyone told you that you're really fuck'n hot." "Why you wanna know eh? *Hic* You think I'm hot shit innit." "I do." "Wanna make out." "I'm down" "...m'kay"

You moved so you were in top of Punz, you looked for any sign of discomfort to which you saw none. You tipped Punz's head up and slowly moved your lips to his and you kissed Punz. Punz threw his hands around your neck and pulled you closer to him and you grabbed his waist and set him on you lap, Punz groaned into the kiss and started tugging at your shirt trying to rip it off you. You broke the kiss to say something to Punz.

"Want- my shirt off?" "Please." "Pull it off yourself." "Wha-" "You heard me bitch. You wanna see me with my shirt off take it off yourself." "Uh- okay..."

Puns started to undo the buttons on your shirt and wasn't getting very far, his hands were sweaty and shaking. He managed to get the first button before you got fed up from waiting and placed your hands up his hoodie tracing his nipples. Punz's breath hitched at the contact and groaned again placing his head in the crook of your neck.

"Hurry the fuck up." "I'm t-trying- fuck don't do that *groans* t-to give me a minute." "Good boys don't keep me waiting, your a good boy eh?" "Y-Yeah." "Then Hurry." "Yes- *moans* s-sir." "Oh~ call me that more often" "Y-yes sir"

༺ T H E N E X T D A Y ༻

You woke up in Punz's hotel room with just your boxers on and while cuddling Punz, his neck and chest was littered with with hickies and he only had on shorts and boxers. Your head was pounding, how much exactly did you have to drink last night...oh whatever. You moved to get out of the bed but an arn was thrown around your waist stopping you from doing so.

"Don't leave....warm." "Luke, Darling I need to go." "Whyyyyy." "Because I gotta go home." "But why." "Because my teammates will be wondering why it's taking me so long to get ready." You reached for your phone, thank god your powered it off before you left. "I say fuck them." "Like how I did to you last night?" "More harder than yeah." "Are you wanting me to go again?" "Nah, I'm fine just...stay please." "I'm only going to LA, I should be fine Luke." "Fineee." "Just give me your number." "Alright it's xxx-xxx-xxx" "Thanks."

You quickly texted your teammates that you weren't at your hotel and were Ubering over. They all swarmed your door went you finally got their and stared at your collar bone and neck. You finally said that yes you did have a hook up and yes you knew the person and yes you did have their number, they finally left you alone. You quickly changed and packed you bags and brushed your teeth. And you meet up with your team downstairs. You would be riding with one of the least accepting of your sexuality. Zach. This motherfucker was big on regularly tormenting ypu with "It was Addam and EVE. Not Addam and STEVE." Thanks for being an asshole I guess. You and Zach places your bags in the trunk of the car and got in the backseat and Zach sat down next to you. You decided to ignore him until he said something about Punz.

"Y'know I bet whoever that fuck you hooked up was ugly. Probably fat as hell." "Dude what the fuck. You don't even know them, don't make accusations you can't prove." "Then who you texting eh?" "Your dad. So I can fuck him 'cause we all know he definitely ain't straight." "My dad is 100% a heterosexual." "How do you know?" "Cause he's with my mom." "But whatif he's bisexual? Or pansexual? Or Omisexual-" "Don't go spreading false information about people! Especially people you don't know." "But that's what you to me, it's only fair innit." "Fuck you." "Nice talking to you to."

You arrived at the airport and met up with some of your closer teammates, your phone dinged in your pocket so you picked it up and it came up with an unknown number that said...

xxx-xxx-xxxx

-Missing you already :(

You- Luke??

-ye

You- alr

You- miss ya too darling

-its actually so boring here ://

You- damn tf u want me to do 🧍

-idk

SAVED CONTACT AS "Luke🩷"

Luke🩷- Y/N respond to meeeeee

You- i was adding u as a contact chill your tits-

Luke🩷- what is it :D

You- *Sent an Screenshot*

Luke🩷- 🤭

You- im about to board da plane

Luke🩷- noooo dont leave meeee

You- I bought the damn plane wifi on the way here, what makes u think im not gonna do it on the way back :|

Luke🩷- dunno

Luke🩷- im just dumb like dat

You- ur not dumb luke

You- u can suck a cock pretty good 😉

Luke🩷- thats gay

You- no really?

Luke🩷- 🥲

You- please dont cry- im sowry :((

Luke🩷- Y/N wtf

Luke🩷- "sowry"

You- i feel attacked rn

You- alr i actually gott go

Luke🩷- damn talk to u soon babe

Luke🩷- luv ya ❤️

You- love you to darling ❤️

-------------------------------------------------------

AGHHFJSHSBAB IM DONE IVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR MONTHS JESUS CHRIST 😭😭😭😭

yall want a part 2 (cuz i do lol)

#punz #dream #dsmp x reader #dream smp x reader #dream smp #dsmp #y/n #mcyt x reader #mcyt #x reader #x y/n #fluff #male reader #punz x male reader #karl jacobs #sapnap #punz x reader

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chocolatetheoristcloud · 1 year

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Can I have some heartbreaking, painful Sasuke angst?

(FINALLY A REQUEST!! 😭)

HOUND DOG

Paring: Sasuke x reader

Warnings/tw!:heart break,angst,dark content, friends with benefits,smut,fuck boy Sasuke, gas lighting,we are here for a good time not a long time, bullying elements,modernish AU, cursing.

Ft: Naruto,Kiba, Shikamaru mentions,Shark boy(forgot his name)

How could you be soo dumb...hm? just how could.

I mean the signs were all there,so how?.

He seemed so nice and friendly to you. When you first met.

You though you would,for ONCE in a lifetime finally have a person who cares about you, someone who wouldn't make fun of you and your interest's or or question you on never not smiling.

SOMEBODY to be their for you....

But no.

Here you are watching him make out with another girl.

I mean wasn't it obvious...

Fuck you then vanish, then when you go to see him the other day while he's talking with his friends laughing as he told them what happened the other day between you two, he'd act distant and cold while his friends are giggling behind him.

"Um yeah sorry Y/N.... I'm you know kinda busy with y'know my friends and all... sorry.."

"No no, it's fine we don't have to talk.. yeah sure no problem.."

His friends.....so am I not his friend...?

You though to yourself as you took your leave.

But he'll call you later that saying nothing but sweet nothings.

"I could never hurt you Y/N I hope you know that,....I promise....it's soo gental...plus you get me."

Lie lie lie, all you ever do is lie.

Promises are a ment to be kept, not broken...

And just like that you said nothing.I mean what was there to say your not his and he is not your's.

So like that, you didn't whine like some spoiled fucking hound begging for attention, muzzled up like a good hound dog keeping your mouth shut.You didn't whine, you were well trained.

And like a good hound dog you wouldn't dare the bite the hand that feed's you right

......or else you'll starve.

So like that you said nothing, even tho it hurts.

But that all change when you overhead him talking to his friends about him fingering you.

"Yeah you guys should of seen it, and how she reacted"

Sasuke said with a chuckle

"Wow Sasuke I'm impressed....I never expected Y/N to have sex with you,I mean she's always soo uptight"

"Yeah, Sasuke even I was caught off guard when you told us you got Y/N to fuck you, also I agree with Kiba, Y/N is really uptight and almost never's talks to anyone....so now the question is how the hell did you get her to fuck you!?"

"I mean come on Naruto... have you met me, but yeah I'll have to admit she was really uptight but I'll tho it took me sometime....I eventually got through to her and the rest was like clock work .... even she has a sour look on her face and doesn't talk to anyone...she has some ass and thighs on her for dayssss bro.... not to mention she's like a hound....she wouldn't bit the hand that's feed's her"

"Wow really...if that's true then I'm sure Shikamaru would love her"

"Yeah well, no shit Naruto shit after hearing about her from Sasuke I wouldn't mind fucking her too~"

Suigetsu added as they all laugh

Finally, deciding you with that you decide that you didn't want to have sex with Sasuke again after that. So when he finally hang's out with you and tried to make a move to you onto you this time you didn't hesitate to put a stop to it.

"Look....Sasuke we need to talk"

"About what?"

"About this, I don't wanna do this with you anymore... but we could still be-"

You were cut off.

"Wow Y/N so this is how you treat me, after everything we did together"

"Sasuke stop don't make sound like that you know that's not true"

"What? that you're being such an uptight bitch all of a sudden?"

"What the hell are you talking about,if anything your the bitch! you think I didn't hear what you were talking to your friends... well I did and I don't wanna do this anymore....I thought...I thought we could actually be friends but now I see that you were just using and abusing our friendship.... you don't care for me like I care for you, like any true friend would.... like how you think I'm just some puppy you can come and play with after....well I'm not, I'm not your house pet you jerk!!!"

You said it with your chest, there was no holding back now.

After that you and Sasuke stopped hanging out but that didn't stop him from telling the school he fucked you.

So now but to the question......

How could you be so dumb?

Could it be.... loneliness?

Could it be.....careless?

No it's not

It's not any of those

But you know what it could be....

You

Poor Poor Y/N....you pitiful creature. You finally got some good attention and just like a pound pup who has finally been let out it's cage you below it.

What's the matter? It's your fault for slipping up..... but here you are crying in the girls bathroom in an empty dirty stall crying.

Like a hound crying for it's bone... playing the victim as if you didn't bring it upon yourself....

You could of simply said no.....but like attention seeking puppy you didn't.

So go ahead and cry and whine like a puppy dog.

#sasuke x oc #sasuke angst #uchiha sasuke x reader #Sasuke x reader #sasuke x you #sasuke uchiha x reader #Sasuke smut #Naruto x reader #Sasuke Uchiha

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