#tw exorsexism

[queerasf4ck]

People will be like, "I’m not transphobic; I just think that the terms for different sexualities should be so heavily policed that they exclude nonbinary and multigender people or force them into a new binary 🙂

[salad-juice-enjoyer]

/sarcasm

No dude you gotta trust me this VN is actualy good. Yes it was by channers to spite another VN that contains a non-binary MC. Yes the happy endings are the one where you successfully convince said MC to detransion and the ones where you don't are the school shooting ending and the future loser ending. But you gotta believe me bro, it was made with actual love and effort and stuff. /s

[quark-nova]

you might not wanna post this. but i just can't believe there's been more of an outcry over moira/avery being kicked from tumblr than nex benedict being beaten to death. i've seen maybe three posts about the literal murder of a nonbinary teenager that their school basically ALLOWED to happen. it feels like nobody cares about us enbies at all.

Yeah that's pretty awful honestly. Like, I get people on Tumblr will talk about Tumblr stuff, but it's sad that we haven't heard much about like, an actual person being murdered (and the school doing virtually nothing).

[thedepressedweasel]

Gender reaffirming healthcare is NOT child abuse; y'all are just a bunch of transphobic and enbyphobic idiots!

[rebellum]

Transandrophobes and exorsexists will be like "you have so many safe spaces! Yeah those places are filled with people who think you're part of a cult, that you need to be in a psychiatric institution, that you need conversation therapy, and are full of people that might rape you to try to prove you're really your assigned gender at birth, but they probably aren't going to kill you!" 🙃

[cripple-punk-dad]

tw// all caps, swearing, vent, transphobia, (exorsexism + transandrophobia), deadnaming, harassment/ assault

I'm nonbinary and one of my friends is a trans guy. some asshat at my school deadnamed my friend by SCREAMING IT AT HIM IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.

I changed my name a couple months later, and it was just this year that my name was finally in the system, and the teachers were able to see my new name and not know what my dead name was.

anyways, the same asshole that I was talking about before caught on the fact that I changed my name. he had the chance to talk to me, and said some random thing AS AN EXCUSE TO USE MY FUCKING DEADNAME.

I've been really pissed about it and I haven't told my parents about what happened yet. fuck anyone who thinks that's ok. you are the scum of the earth if you do shit like that.

ps some guys were harassing me and taking pictures of me without my fucking permission in this class

That is infuriating and you should really report him if you feel safe enough to do so.

[genderkoolaid]

(Source)

On February 8th, this nonbinary child was violently beaten by three cis girls. The school did not call them an ambulance after the beating was stopped, and they later died in the hospital from head trauma. They have also been deadnamed and misgendered in their obituary and in the news. As the author of the article puts it:

How is that not national news? A 16 year old beaten to death in a public school bathroom? By other students. All these unanswered seemingly obvious questions about what transpired, and how the adults involved acted. That should be every headline. In fact, almost every local outlet covering the story misgender and deadnames Nex, using their same assigned at birth. The indignities pile on. We don’t yet know if Nex’s nonbinary identity is directly tied to this incident. But, my God, it sure matters to me that this would happen to any child. A nonbinary kid assaulted in a girl’s bathroom. That outcome from the narrative of anti-trans rhetoric these past years. Still why wasn’t this story breaking news? It involves a nonbinary student in a public school. And school violence and school police resource officers. It involves the deep fear so many trans youth have shared with me about their schools.

[arlens-entries]

I need other non-binary ppl, especially folks who aren't interested in medical transition, to understand we don't all have the same experience as 'they thems' who only get misgendered according to our agab in public.

I'm a short genderqueer ftm with long hair and a deep voice, I get gendered every way possible. Any pronouns work for me, so misgendering isn't typically on my radar. However, I often experience transmisogyny when I'm read as mtf or transfemme by strangers, and explicit homophobia when I am read as an effeminate cis man. I think some fellow trans people find this 'misplaced' transphobia funny, I have had friends literally laugh in public situations where I’ve become unsafe. And I think allyship of other trans ppl isn’t just acknowledging each other as trans, but considering the safety of certain settings and knowing when not to acknowledge weird comments.

It's not some hilarious moment when someone calls me a woman and 'corrects' themselves when they hear me speak, or a giggly bit when I'm asked to leave for answering a question out loud in a women's bathroom. It's not funny when I get backhanded compliments about being a man and braiding my hair or suprised comments about my choice of formalwear.

These moments aren't affirmations of my masculinizing transition, and strangers being 'wrong' about my presentation and gendering me as a trans woman is not the funniest fucking thing, especially in the presence of my transfemme friends who experience the same backhanded shit I do.

My experience can't be chalked up to binary transphobia because I very much present as a multi-gendered person. I suffer transphobia not because I am androgynous, but because I'm not sometimes.

[soong-type-notinuse]

Pronouns are classified as function words and closed class, meaning they're not as easy to interchange as names. Try researching the difference between word classes, namely between open class words like nouns/verbs and closed class words like pronouns/conjunctions.

To put it simply, it's not worth the substantial effort of changing one's fundamental speech just because you feel too special for standard pronouns. Sorry.

just go ahead and call me a special snowflake. you want to do it so bad. "we don't have an adapt for a small minority" oh come on. you could have at least put in some effort into hiding your fascist views.

[queerasf4ck]

If you think lesbians can be attracted to nonbinary and multigender people but can’t be mspec, you’re transphobic. It’s pretty simple.

[transmascissues]

i absolutely cannot believe people are trying to start discourse about whether nex benedict was actually nonbinary / whether it was okay for him to describe himself as nonbinary to some people if he didn’t actually identify that way as if he isn’t literally DEAD because he was KILLED. this is a MURDERED CHILD and these monsters are so busy getting mad at the possibility that he might have been a trans boy who described himself as nonbinary to his family because that was easier for them to take that they’re turning a CHILD who was MURDERED into fucking discourse. even when we die at the hands of cis people’s violence, our own community finds a way to make us the villains of the story.

and all of this bullshit on top of the ways that cis people are already trying to say our grief over his death is unjustified. all of this on top of people claiming he wasn’t murdered and speculating on other causes of death (i literally saw someone say he “clearly went home and took the coward’s way out” and i have never been more disgusted) or claiming that he started the fight as if any action on his part could’ve been enough to justify his death. i am haunted by the sound of his father screaming that his child was not filth because that is what people have been saying about this poor kid, that’s how cruelly his memory is being treated, and even the trans community can’t get it’s shit together enough to look past the stupid discourse and see the tragedy in front of us. did you all forget that it was supposed to be up to us to grieve him in the way he deserves when the rest of the world fails to care if people like him live or die? did you all forget that this child was our sibling, the future of our community, a life that we should have had the chance to know and treasure while he was still here but that we now have a responsibility to hold close to our hearts in his absence? nex’s life was precious and it was ended far too soon and if you truly believe that anything is more important than mourning his life and fighting for a world where no more trans people have to meet such an awful fate, you’re a traitor to this community and you do not deserve the place you occupy within it.

i’m so tired. i can’t even imagine how tired his family must be, to see the public treat the child they’re grieving so horribly, to see the world fail their baby again. leave him alone. he was already robbed of peace in life; the least you can do is let him finally have it in death.

[thehealingsystem]

Hey, can we talk about the violence against queer natives for a second?

Nex Benedict was a 16 year old nonbinary student who was brutally murdered by three of their female classmates. Not only that, they were a Native American living on a Cherokee reservation, though not enrolled in the tribe, and their actual heritage is that of Choctaw.

Their death was not properly reported on until the blog post that genderkoolaid shared was made. Their nonbinary identity had remained unacknowledged, and it took even longer for their native one to be.

They were a victim of the rising anti-trans rhetoric spreading throughout places like the US. They were beaten in a bathroom after Oklahoma had banned trans people from restrooms, designating them to only use that of their assigned sex. Nex was attacked in the girls bathroom.

A native, two-sprit, nonbinary teenager. Whose identity and the actual circumstances behind the incident, a hate crime, wasn't even published beforehand. They died tragically, a death that could've been easily prevented.

Do you know how scary that is? I'm just like them. A native, two-spirit, nonbinary teenager. I have to keep on hearing stories of people my age, who live in the same country, who share my identity, getting murdered. Not even just murdered, but erased.

I know for an absolute fact that if I died tragically, who I am will not be remembered. My deadname will be on everything. I would not be counted in trans statistics, nonetheless statistics on transmascs. My identity would not be respected. My native heritage wouldn't matter. I didn't get to be enrolled. And Nex had supportive family and friends, people who stood up for them. Not all trans kids get to have that.

I've had to think about this before many times. From the other trans youth deaths I've seen. From nearly becoming one of them. When is it enough? Why do the people in power do nothing to stop kids like me from being killed? Why do they only want to make our lives worse?

I'm very lucky to live in a state that has not wavered on it's protections on LGBTQ+ residents. Though I am reminded often that that can easily change, if things keep going like this.

I could've easily been them. I can still easily be them. There are many other kids who can be them. Everyone should be doing more to protect trans youth, and protect queer natives. We're so often forgotten about. I'm part of small tribes, and tribes who barely even exist anymore. My elders desperately trying to keep it alive. Please do not erase us. I'm queer, I'm native. Nex Benedict should have been protected, youth like me should be protected. I wish the best for their family and I hope their memory is never forgotten.

[thedepressedweasel]

Privacy? What’s that?

Earlier today, my egg donor kept going to my room and searching for my Medi-Cal card and accusing me of taking it and even when I told her that I didn’t take it and that I didn’t even have it anywhere, she never believed me. She also kept going through my stuff and when I asked her to stop, she yelled at me, called me names and swore at me. She even went through my wallet and when she discovered my CashApp debit card that she never knew I had, I tried to take it back from her, but she wouldn’t let me until I grabbed it out of her hands; instead, she kept interrogating me (while insisting on deadnaming me on purpose and enjoying it) and when I told her that it was none of her business, she started screaming at me that I was supposed to trust her and tell her everything about myself, no matter what.

I don’t have to tell anybody anything. I know exactly who should get locked up. And that, my friends, is definitely not me.

[trans-androgyne]

“Tme trans people have material privilege over tma ones” you’re just perpetuating transphobia at this point. It’s deeply not okay to say one type of transphobia is inherently worse than all other types. You cannot privilege experiences of transmisogyny over the exorsexism and transandrophobia faced by supposedly “tme” trans people. You are contributing to the transphobia other trans people face by refusing to recognize and address the unique violence and discrimination they experience.

Trans people afab have the highest rate of sexual assault of any gender category. We are the ones vulnerable to rape/forced pregnancy as a means of detransition. It’s literally a dark joke about our community how when we date cis people they so often abuse us into not physically transitioning because it’ll ruin our perceived womanly bodies. I’ve been forcibly off T for months when I would’ve been able to acquire E relatively easily. Being outside the binary comes with its own plethora of issues that aren’t faced by all transfems. The tme/tma binary frequently fails to take into account experiences of intersex and multigender trans folks, who are often very, very much not privileged compared to some perisex binary trans women. This isn’t a comprehensive explanation of what our communities go through in the slightest.

Because of how the transphobia we experience operates difficulty, groups like trans men & mascs do tend to have higher incomes than transfems (though the gap between us & cis people is wider than that between us & transfems) & have other privileges in certain areas. But we have worse outcomes in other measures—you can’t just pick & choose which stats you want to compare, or say that your suffering is objectively worse than the suffering of others, to make it seem like transfems have things worse as a blanket statement. We all have our own problems, & you are contributing to the invisibility & erasure of transmasc & non-binary issues by behaving like this.

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

me watching cis women on twitter say shit like “cuntboys and theyfabs are fascist oppressor scum tme mra. they can all go to hell with their faux masculinity. all of them are sensitive invaders of the trans community god i fucking hate them. i’m not transphobic tho btw i support trans women!!!” and then be congratulated for what progressive allies they are

[garethgobblecoque]

Feels strange to see people debating whether the right would prefer trans people to be gender conforming or gender non conforming.

They'd prefer if all trans people were dead.