#tw suicide attemp

[kinardsboy]

Tw suicide attempt:

The thought came to me today that what if Tommy knew about the Methane leak and stayed behind on purpose, he was so unhappy where he was at, and if he died during a rescue, at least it would look like an accident.

What he didnt plan on was the one guy who he had bullied to be the one to save him from himself.

He didn’t expect Howie to welcome him back, ask if he’s okay.

So, if Tommy hugs Howie instead of shaking his hand, and if Howie is the first person he comes out to,

Theres a reason.

[pink-evilette]

Jesus Saves ~ Darcey Steinke

[pettyprocrastination]

being a daughter is such a versatile experience. I comfort you while you cry but keep mine to the shower so you don’t worry I used to think you were overbearing but now I know why you hold onto me so tightly i wish you saw me as my own person but please don’t let me wander too far you're the reason i shout into my mattress you're the reason I haven’t killed myself I complain to my friends every week but I’ll defend you until i die as a child i resented you but now I mourn the woman you wished you could have become I hate your mother for what she did and I thank you for breaking the cycle when i was a child i couldn't wait for weekend at dad’s and now I hate him enough for the both of us I forgive you I worry for you I cry for you I hate for you I live for you 

[carrotscareforyou]

So I can never find which tag it is but here's another rant post. Also, I finally got a therapist so that's a good thing

I am so sick of this

I'm so tired of just when my life starts to ease out, something new happens to derail it

I finally get a therapist, I finally feel fine with my medication, I might get a job soon, and I'm having fun with friends and family. And I might get a boo soon 👀👀👀👀

Can I have just one month or something where something doesn't go wrong?

For those who don't know, my landlord is essentially kicking me out of the place I live. And so I'm having to find an apartment fast. However, I'm also not sure if I have a job yet once I get there. Because if I don't get the job, I don't get to stay where I am and have to move back home to Houston.

And in my head, I've told myself many times that if I have to go back home, imma self oof because I'd rather die than go back home. I won't but I just would hate having to go back. To be stuck in a place where I can't branch out and have fun with friends. Sure, I have friends back at home, but they're not the friends I'm looking forward to. They're not the friends I made by myself with no external forces.

I'm hoping I can get this job since there's 50 other jobs I applied for and did not get the job for. They say that there's so many job openings but there's hundreds of people applying for the same job and you're not super qualified for them, so of course it's gonna go to the best person. Like, what do you want me to do?

I'm also just so frustrated at my landlord. Literally, there have been times when he had someone who wasn't under contract living in the house yet they paid for their room like normal because they had a trust that it would happen. I wasn't sure if I would have this job, thus didn't wanna sign a contract until I was sure that I could even stay. But he went ahead and said that I'm moving out without contacting me first. What was he gonna do if I never texted him? Never tell me? Then what? I probably should have never told him or texted him tbh, but then he likely would have got some court order or somethin, which I trusted him. He's a friend and a leader to me, too. And this feels like a harsh stab to my back. Like what am I supposed to do? He could have told me ages ago, but he said nothing. Luckily some places allow for moving in much earlier but still.

[bagelbun333]

The death penalty in Ace Attorney | The fandom’s biggest misconception

Capital punishment is something we all know is a real consequence when it comes to murder in Ace Attorney, but do all culprits who commit these crimes actually get the death penalty? That’s what I’m going to go through in depth within this post!

CW and TW: mentions of death, execution, murder, suicide etc.

Also major spoilers for basically all the mainline ace attorney games!

To start off with, what exactly warrants a death penalty in Japanifornia? Murder has been referred to as a capital crime that deserves a capital punishment, which in turn led people to believe that all murder convicts get the death sentence. However, there is a slight mistranslation within that statement and it should say “murder is a charge that risks the death penalty.” “Risk” is the keyword here. While yes, it is possible murder charges can warrant the death penalty, that doesn’t mean every culprit will get executed. Like, this isn’t Danganronpa 😭 What people don’t think about is the different kinds of murder charges there are, and the differences in sentencing this can create.

Murder charges can go from:

1st Degree Murder - Premeditated/long time planning

2nd Degree Murder - Not premeditated but the intent is there within the moment/deliberate killing

3rd Degree Murder - Deliberate reckless behaviour resulting in death

Aggravated Murder - Murder when an aggravating circumstance is proven (such as kidnapping or torture)

Voluntary Manslaughter - Intention to kill but is not guilty of murder due to provocation or mental incapacity

Involuntary Manslaughter - Killing without intention within the heat of the moment

Self Defence - Killing for defence of oneself

Consensual Homicide - Assisting a suicide

Attempted Murder - Planning and failing to kill

In Japan (the country this series is initially based on) these charges have different kinds of sentences depending on circumstances. So naturally, Japanifornia must have punishments very similar to this. These are the sentences for these crimes in Japan according to my research:

1st Degree - 5 years to life imprisonment

2nd Degree - 5 years to life imprisonment

3rd Degree - 3 to 5 years imprisonment

Aggravated Murder - Death penalty or life imprisonment

Voluntary Manslaughter - 1 to 15 years imprisonment

Involuntary Manslaughter - 1 to 15 years imprisonment

Consensual Homicide - 6 months to 7 years imprisonment

Self Defence - No imprisonment

Attempted Murder - 5 years to life imprisonment

Death penalties are usually passed in cases of multiple murders, although there are exceptions where individuals have committed a single murder that have been executed because it involved torture, extreme brutality or kidnapping with a demand for ransom. It is punishable by five years to life in prison, and with the death penalty if aggravating circumstances are proven. The only exception is for juvenile offenders since the minimum age for capital punishment in Japan is 18.

With this, we can work out what kinds of charges each of the ace attorney culprits will be given. (Mostly for the Phoenix Wright trilogy since I can’t recall much beyond aa4.)

(For clarification’s sake: a “/” is used when a crime could be one or the other or both, while the “,” is used to separate different crimes.)

Frank Sahwit: 2nd Degree Murder

Redd White: 1st Degree Murder

April May: 1st Degree Murder (Accomplice)

Dee Vasquez: Self Defence/Voluntary Manslaughter

Yanni Yogi: 1st Degree Murder

Manfred von Karma: 2nd Degree Murder, 1st Degree Murder (accomplice, planned out)

Joe Darke: Serial Murders (technically spree murder, guilty on five counts)

Damon Gant: 1st Degree Murder, 2nd Degree Murder (Serial Murders)

Lana Skye: 1st Degree Murder, 2nd Degree Murder (Unwilling Accomplice in both)

Richard Wellington: 2nd Degree Murder/Involuntary Manslaughter

Mimi Miney: 1st Degree Murder

Morgan Fey: 1st Degree Murder, Attempted Murder (Accomplice in both, planned out the crime)

Acro: Attempted Murder, Involuntary Manslaughter

Matt Engarde: 1st Degree Murder (Hired a hitman), Consensual Homicide (driven a woman to unalive herself)

Dahlia Hawthorne: 1st Degree Murder, Consensual Homicide, 3 counts of Attempted Murder, and 2nd Degree Murder (Serial Murders)

Luke Atmey: 1st Degree Murder

Furio Tigre: Either 1st or 2nd Degree Murder

Godot: Voluntary Manslaughter/Self Defence (defending someone else)

Iris: Voluntary Manslaughter (accomplice)

Kristoph Gavin: 2 counts of 1st Degree Murder, Attempted Murder (Serial Murders)

Those who canonically got the death penalty:

- Joe Darke

- Dahlia Hawthorne

- Terry Fawles

- Simon Blackquill

Those who canonically got the death penalty but didn’t get executed:

- Terry Fawles (he died anyway rip)

- Simon Blackquill

Those who are most likely to get the death penalty but never canonically stated:

- Manfred von Karma (not explicitly stated but heavily implied)

- Damon Gant

- Matt Engarde

- Morgan Fey (vaguely implied)

- Kristoph Gavin

- The Phantom

Those who don’t get the death penalty:

- Frank Sahwit

- Redd White (he would if his blackmail victims got leaked)

- April May

- Dee Vasquez

- Yanni Yogi

- Lana Skye

- Richard Wellington (could be a chance that he would considering his victim was a police officer)

- Mimi Miney (unsure considering her accomplice is implied to be on death row)

- Acro

- Luke Atmey

- Furio Tigre

- Godot

- Iris

To recap, the death penalty in Japanifornia is reserved for the criminals with absolutely no hope for rehabilitation, and for those who have aggravated murder charges/serial murder charges. Even people like Redd White will not receive the death penalty.

After all, Redd White did plead guilty to Mia’s murder specifically because getting arrested for one murder would be safer than having his list of blackmail victims get leaked to the press. It would be strange to confess for his own safety if he was just going to get executed anyway.

In the later games it is shown that the law is changing, and the death penalty is even less involved when culprits are convicted of murder. (Not counting charges in Khura’in, that’s different.) So it is very possible that the punishments can change overtime for those who were already convicted; meaning there’s a chance that they can be given a lighter sentence later on. There’s even a culprit in aa5 who was planning a murder but ended up killing someone else accidentally, and they were released from prison mere months after the trial. If they can released for that then surely a lot of the other culprits deserve the same treatment.

Speaking of Khura’in, that is actually more of a parody of what the fandom thought Japanifornia’s death penalty worked like. Even then, after the ending aa6, it looks like that judicial system will change for the better too.

And that’s pretty much it! The reason I wanted to go through this topic is because the whole murder = death penalty ideology is taken way out of proportion, and has been treated as a fact for far too long when it’s actually not completely true. This is just what I’ve managed to research and you can feel free to believe it or not, but I really wanted to share a new perspective on this subject. I, for one, wanted to share some hope for people; especially because I know a lot of these culprits have a lot of fans, and they deserve to have a brighter perspective on these characters. I definitely want some of these characters to return and this research really helped me feel confident that some of them have the potential to make a comeback.

Plus with the HD release of, not only the Apollo trilogy, but the Edgeworth collection in the same year, it’s more than likely that aa7 will bring back old characters! The reason a lot of these old characters didn’t make a reappearance sooner is because Capcom stood by this “no spoiler” rule for the players who may have missed out on certain games in this series. But now that we have all the mainline games in the series getting a HD release on all modern platforms, this “no spoiler” rule will most likely not be necessary anymore!

No more of this “if they’re guilty they’re never coming back” bs, let’s be more hopeful! It’s actually less likely that all culprits would get executed than the majority not getting executed. Let’s bffr!

And even if they don’t come back in aa7, we now have a more clear understanding on this messy topic, and you can feel free to use my analysis as a way to explain ace attorney culprits being able to leave prison in fanfictions, roleplays, fanarts etc. Don’t let the fandom tell you what to do >:3

Unrelated but I think this has been my first analysis post I put on tumblr and it was very fun to delve into! I may make more if anyone is interested :3c

[thesummerestsolstice]

Continuation of the "Earendil drank the Silmaril AU"–

TW for the Sirion kinslaying and Elwing's attemped suicide

Elwing's advisors encourage her to be strong, not to give the Silmaril to the Feanorian murderers. Of course, none of them know that she couldn't hand it over, even if she wanted to. She tries not to think about what would happen if the Feanorians saw the empty shell of the Silmaril, drained of light. She tries not to think about what they might do to Earendil, if they found out the light lives within him now.

She doesn't really have any options. She cannot give them the Silmaril; she will not yield her husband to the monsters who killed her parents. She encourages Earendil to go on another of his voyages. She tells him that she's confident the Feanorians won't have the guts to actually attack them. She's lying. The day after he leaves, she makes plans to evacuate all those in Sirion who aren't ready and willing to die there.

Not long after, she receives another letter, one that practically radiates anger. That night, she holds her children– her wonderful, sweet children who have feathers behind their ears and starlight at their fingertips. The next day, she plans to have them sent away from Sirion. She knows it won't be long now.

She's still not ready, when the Feanorians come. There aren't many people left in Sirion. There aren't many Feanorians left either. But the fighting is fierce, all old hatred and festering pain. She'd hoped to have another day– just one more, to hide the remnants of the Silmaril. When Maedhros sees her carrying the cracked orb, wrapped in fabric, she knows it's over.

Maybe he can tell, even through the fabric, that something is wrong with the Silmaril, maybe he can't. Either way, he runs after her with burning eyes and a his oath on his lips. She's not quite sure where her feet are taking her until she finds herself at the cliff's edge. She turns, stares out at the stormy sea. When she looks back, there is something almost like horror on Maedhros's face, but all she feels in an eerie calm.

She thinks about her children. She hopes they made it out alright. She hopes they'll find someone else to look after them, when she's gone.

[hayleythecannibal]

Twisted Minds: Act II- Chapter Twenty Yakimono

TW: Crime scenes, Gore, Implied Death, Death, Talks of Attempted Murder/Assassination, Cannibalism, Framing, Guns, Prosthetics

Warning this is Fem!reader. You can also find this on Wattpad and A03 under the name @HayleyMarieOfficial. Comment if you want to be added to the taglist.

Taglist: @punkin-time @miaowkitty @gabriella-aesthetic @urlocalfanficwriter @dilfdemolisher

Twisted Minds Masterlist

VIRGINIA BARN - NIGHT-

A nascent crime scene. Work lights and flashing neons. COPS' and FBI AGENTS' breath frosting the cold air. An AMBULANCE is exiting. It drives toward us, revolving lights FILL FRAME.

JACK CRAWFORD standing With Y/N trying to comfort him, haunted, watching

the ambulance drive away.

BAU - EVIDENCE PROCESSING - NIGHT-

Miriam is still being processed – DIRT is scraped from beneath the nails of her right hand.

Her BLOOD slowly fills a test tube. Each time the evidence is put into bags, onto slides and labeled. “...I was so wrong…”

FBI - MIRIAM LASS'S DORM - NIGHT- 

Abrupt silence. Miriam sits, staring into middle distance. Hear the slow THUD of her HEARTBEAT. The AMBIENT HUM of her CIRCULATORY SYSTEM. She finds her left arm resting on her knee, the round, smooth oddness of the stump where her left arm should be...

And, finally, her eyes, lashes in FOCUS as we see TEARS slowly bud and build on them. 

“Thank you.” Finally, Miriam looks at Jack with her. There is belief and gratitude. Her voice raspy and low: “I knew you'd never stop looking…” She smiles softly, the sight haunting. “Can I see him?” She asks gently, “Who?” Jack says as he Furrows his brows in confusion. “The Ripper.” She says nervously, “We haven't caught the Ripper.” Her stomach plunges, helpless, frustrated, scared. “He's still--?”

“We need your help, Miriam. You know who he is.” Jack says Grimmly, “I don't. Know who he is.” She says choking on her own words, she thought they found her beacuse they caught him. Poor Miriam. “You found him.”

“I don't remember finding him. He got inside my head.” 

“Do you remember being taken?”

“I remember a dream about drowning. Then being awake. And not awake. Being myself, and not myself. I remember I could smell salt air. We were by the sea. For weeks. Months. Longer. Days and evenings blurred, I'd wake up to the smell of fresh flowers and the sting of a needle. I wasn't afraid. Fear and pain were so far away, on the horizon, but not close. Never close.” She says so terrorized by what she knew she couldn't remember, it frustrated her. 

“I was reckless with your life.” Jack says as he lets his head drop sadly, “I was reckless with my life.” Miriam responds trying to make jack feel as though its not his fault. Because it’s not. Its not his fault for His Wife’s attempted suicide, Beverly’s death,  Miriam’s kidnapping, Will’s imprisonment, Y/N and Hannibal’s Attemped Assasination. None of it ws ever His fault.

“I saw what I needed in you and I used you. I let you break the rules on my behalf while I hid behind deniability.” Jack says He believes everything is his fault. 

“Please, Agent Crawford. Don't apologize to me for my mistakes. He treated me very well until the end. Until he put me in the ground. Even when he took my arm. He told me what he was going to do. I went to sleep. I woke up, it was gone. Said he was giving it to you.” Miriam says with wide eyes gazing down on the floor. “Did he tell you why?”

“He said he wanted to give you hope.”

“Can you identify him?”

“I could hear his voice. I couldn't see his face. All I could see......was light.”

“Why didn't he kill you, Miriam? Why were you spared?” Jack asks curiously. “I wasn't spared. He was just saving me for last.” Miriam says with a Grim look.

BAU - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY-

ALANA BLOOM and Y/N L/N are with HANNIBAL in the small room with the TWO-

WAY MIRROR. “They- I found a witness. A survivor. The only victim of the Chesapeake Ripper who lived to tell.” I say looking at him seriously. I focus on my breathing to keep me grounded at the moment. “Is this witness watching me now?” Hannibal asks, looking me in the eyes, then turns to Alana. “Yes.” 

”It seems I am the usual suspect.” Hannibal sighs,  “I keep having angry, imaginary conversations with Jack Crawford about that. I wish I could tell you why this is happening.” Alana says as Hannibal looks to the glass. “I don't think even Jack can tell me why. His witness must not be able to identify the Ripper by sight.” Hannibal stands and approaches the glass.

“Jack wants them to hear my voice. Otherwise, I'd be in here alone. Still, I appreciate your company.” Hannibal says politely, Miriam Won’t ID him. He’s too clever for that. He won’t let himself be caught unless that's specifically what he wants. It's genius. 

“There's new evidence in Will's case. Evidence he didn't commit the crimes he was accused of. Will's innocent, Hannibal.” I say promptly, Glad He’ll be out. Ready to actually see him.  “He's not innocent of trying to kill me. And he's not innocent of what is happening here.” He says almost Curtly, My head bows. 

“He thinks you're the Ripper.” Alana says Sadly, I understand why she’s so upset. I’m not. I know what he is. Who he is and what he has done. And for some reason. It doesnt scare me one bit. It’s a Little Exciting? No- I- I dont know. Hannibal approaches the glass  “He's no longer alone in that.”

BSHCI - CELL BLOCK/WILL GRAHAM'S CELL - DAY-

Dr. Chilton limps toward Will's cell. As he approaches the last cell on the left, WILL is standing in the middle of his cage. He's no longer wearing his prison jumpsuit; he's wearing civilian clothes.

“This is very sudden.” Will says with a quick downturn of his Lips. “The federal prosecutor has dropped all charges. Since you weren't convicted of killing anyone, the basis for your sentencing to this institution is null and void. The Chesapeake Ripper has set you free.” Chilton speaks Quickly and does not miss a beat. “You're my psychiatrist, you could have kept me here if you wanted.”

“I'd love nothing more than to see you trade places with Dr. Lecter.”

“Now that's a prize patient.” Dr. Chilton waves his cane at the CCTV CAMERA. A moment, then Will Graham's cell door OPENS. Will steps out. “You may have been exonerated, but Hannibal Lecter has yet to be incriminated. Which means, there's a cannibal on the loose. I have no intention of ending up on his menu.”

“Then confess, Frederick. Might be the only thing saves your life.” They start down the hall.

“Confess to what?” Chilton inquires, “Confess to bonding with Hannibal Lecter over your mutual practice of unorthodox therapies. Dr. Lecter with me. You with Abel Gideon.” Will says as the men both walk towards his freedom. “Abel Gideon has been playing his own game. Was wheeled out of that hospital by the Chesapeake Ripper. Curious what bargain they struck.” “There's no bargaining with smoke. Gideon's dead. You're next.”

“Unless I unburden myself?” Chilton asks incredulously. “Confession's good for the soul. Shine a light on your relationship with Hannibal Lecter. He works in the shadows. Deny them to him. Tell Jack Crawford everything.” Will says with the raise of his brows.

“So if Hannibal kills me, he'll look more suspicious? Or are you simply suggesting I kill my career before Hannibal can kill me?” Chilton asks confused,  “I'm suggesting you convince Jack Crawford however you can. Like your life depends on it.” The gate BUZZES, OPENS. As Will steps through, Chilton asks: “Why didn't Hannibal just kill you? Or Y/N?”

“Because he wants to be our friend.”

BSHCI - THERAPY HALL - DAY-

Will comes through the doors under the guards' pulpit and into the main hall. Sunlight shines through the windows, creating shafts of light and shadow. Will walks toward freedom, pausing to look at the brutal THERAPY CAGES where he spent so much time. Walking down the hall, through the pools of light, he realizes Y/N is waiting for him, standing near the base of the stairs. Will stops short. His Breathing stops. He hasnt seen her since he was told she was Almost Murdered. 

“You need a ride?” I smile softly, I pull at my long sleeves to keep my still bandaged wrists covered. He steps in front of me, takes my face in his hands. He lets out a shuddering breath as he pulls me into a hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” He sighs into my hair. I rub his back soothingly. “I’m glad to see you out of there.” I say as I reluctantly pull away from the hug after a moment.

I open my passenger door and gesture for him come. “Come on Lets not keep jack waiting for us” I smile. Once he’s in the car I round to the drivers side and get in. Seat belts on and ready to go. I pull out of the parking lot and get on the long road back. “Care you know I-” “I know you didn’t order for me to be killed. Matthew Brown said it himself. And you would never hurt me.” I place one of my hands on his.

“What happened anyway?” He asks curiously, I take a deep breath. “He knocked me out with a tranquilizer outside of my car as i was leaving our last visit…..When i woke up I was Bleeding Heavily, My clothes had been changed. My thighs and my Wrists had deep lacerations. My head was pounding. I was told he kicked me. I still had my gun. So I stood up dazed, i drew my gun. And i killed him. Point blank. Next thing was told to me. I collasped to the floor and sent in an ambulance in critical condition.” I Shiver at the thought. I feel him squeeze my hand. I give him a sad smile.

“I’m so sorry” He says softly, “Its okay. I’m just glad your back”

VIRGINIA BARN - CISTERN ROOM - DAY-

The basement is lit by work lights creating eerie shadows across a large, coffin-sized FREEZER. A RACK OF LARGE GLASS SLIDES, like the ones that encased Beverly Katz, lines a wall near the BUZZ SAW that sliced her into vertical slabs. For a BRIEF MOMENT, Will sees BEVERLY'S REFLECTION in a pane of glass. He averts eyes inadvertently toward a kill room.

Linoleum is rolled out on the wooden floor to give a cleanable surface. Centered on it is an AUTOPSY TABLE, stainless steel picking up highlights, a drain running around the sides -- a pipe running into a vat beneath. A roll of KNIVES and SURGICAL INSTRUMENTS upon it. Will eyes several heavy GLASS JARS filled with BLOOD resting on another table.

“It's Beverly Katz's blood. He drained her before he froze her. Before he cut into her.” I say as I look around the uneasy basement that housed the souls of many lost. 

Bunches of DYING FLOWERS, VINES and BRANCHES are on the autopsy table, coiled in a withering mass. Will looks at the file as Jack and I walk him through the space, toward a pair of raised CISTERN OPENINGS.

“The Chesapeake Ripper's most-recent victim drowned in this cistern. The water in his lungs led us here.” Jack says as he looks into one of the two cisterns, black water halfway up its walls. Above each cistern, a BLOCK AND TACKLE hangs from a hook in the ceiling. Jack moves to the dry cistern.

“We found Miriam down there.” I say softly, remembering the thank you she had given me. “She believes the Ripper brought her here to kill her. He was saving her to be his last victim. He

knows we're close to catching him.”  Jack says, It’s laughable that Jack thinks He’d let us catch him. We’ll know who he is yes. But Catch Him? No. Not unless thats specifically what he wants.

“He's been caught before. Catch a fish once and it gets away, it's a lot harder to catch a second time.” Will says as Jack watches Him as he surveys the room. Will Graham takes a breath, exhales, then closes his eyes.

A PENDULUM It swings in the darkness of Will Graham’s mind, keeping rhythm with his heartbeat. FWUM. FWUM. “Let’s do what we do best…” I whisper softly to him. His eyes are closed. The PENDULUM is now outside his head. It swings behind Will and Y/N, Jack Crawford recedes into the shadows. FWUM. The PENDULUM swings on the other side of the

room, disappearing evidence markers and work lights. FWUM. The dying flowers, vines and branches on the table REJUVENATE and BLOOM ANEW, restored to a fresh state of life.

The crime scene has now been decriminalized in Will's head. Will opens his eyes to DARKNESS. 

HANNIBAL LECTER'S OFFICE (WILL'S POV)-

the TREE MAN in full bloom, in front of Will, rooted to the floor of Hannibal's office. Tree Man's

branches grow, reaching out of him and stretching to the ceiling. Will takes it all in. “I sewed the seeds and watched them grow. I cultivated a long chain of events leading to this. This, all of this, has been my design.” A dramatic THEATER CURTAIN closes on the proscenium arch of Hannibal's office. 

VIRGINIA BARN - CISTERN ROOM - DAY-

Will glances down at the cistern. “It's theater.” I say as Will unceremoniously closes the cistern lid. The irony really. I grew up on stage, I stopped performing when I moved in with Uncle Stephen. But Hannibal seems to keep dragging me on for an encore. We’re all Actors in a meticulously written Play.

“Every time the Chesapeake Ripper kills, it's theater.” Jack says tiredly, “The Chesapeake Ripper didn't bring Miriam here to kill her. He brought her here for you to find.” Will says as he comes up behind me, his hand grazing my lower back.  “The Ripper isn't self-destructive. He doesn't want to get caught.”

“He wants you to catch someone. Like he wanted you to catch me. Somewhere, in all this evidence, you'll find something that will lead you away from Hannibal Lecter.” Will says, causing me to actually laugh. “Miriam Lass already has.” Jack says, I place a hand over my face still silently laughing.

“Two years is a long time to have Hannibal in your head. You can't trust her, Jack. You can't trust

any of this to be what it seems.” I say that warningly. Jack Crawford considers that warning...

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - DAY-

The house sits nestled amidst bare trees and snow. Silence.  Will walks up to the porch,

enjoying the crunch of fresh snow underfoot. The door OPENS revealing Y/N inside. She barely has time to greet Will before THE DOGS squeeze past her. Will rushes to meet them as they bound up to him, and he is engulfed in their unbridled joy. He drops to his knees in the snow as he pets them. I cannot help but smile.

“Welcome home.” I say softly, “Thank you. Thank you for taking care of them. They seem happy.”

“Happy to see you.” Will is momentarily overwhelmed with the dogs swarming around him, each wanting to greet and lick. He notices a NEW DOG. “Who's this?”

“‘Luna. She's mine. She’s my second. I rescued her.” I attach a lead to Luna's collar. “Picking up some of my bad habits?”

“Picking up your good habits…..” I sigh “Will. I- I know about Hannibal. And I knew about Abigail. And I knew something was wrong with you. I know so much more than I let on-” I say with a shaky tone, “Y/N. I know. I knew you knew. And I know it’s hard.” Will stands up and Holds me as I cry softly in his arms.

“Will?” I lift my head from his chest. “Hmm?” He asks as he looks down at me.

“Did you really order for Hannibal’s death?” I ask as I look into his eyes. He takes a deep breath and continues to look at me. “Y/N….”

“Something’s changed within you. You used to be terrified of yourself, so unsure. But now you- you make definitive decisions and have motives behind them. Will-” He cups my face with one of his hands. “Y/N. You are Brilliant and Gorgeous. And you Think like no one else does. But we both know What Hannibal is. And I won't risk Him hurting you or worse.”

FBI - MIRIAM LASS'S DORM - DAY-

Miriam's hands as she scratches her prosthesis. “Are you an FBI agent?” Will and Y/N are in the room with Miriam. “She is. I used to teach at the Academy. Two days ago, I was an inmate at the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Courtesy of the Chesapeake Ripper.” Will says as he sits in front of Her.

“The Guru told me the only people who demonstrated any practical understanding of the Ripper are you two. Didn't mention you were a victim.” Miriam says confused, i raise an eyebrow; “The Guru?”

“Jack Crawford. We called him the Guru. He has a peculiar cleverness.”

“The Guru tells me you don't remember much about what the Chesapeake Ripper did to you. I couldn't remember either.”

“Couldn't?”

“I remember now. Not all of it. Pieces. I was under his influence. The Chesapeake Ripper used some kind of light to induce seizure responses in my brain. He created blackouts and lost time.”

Miriam quietly breathes, struggling with the familiarity of what Will is telling her. Her voice is just above a whisper. In the safety of the FBI, it's still terrifying to recall.

“I remember the light. He always stood in front of it, at a distance from me, silhouetted, very still.” The CHAMBER MUSIC, heard earlier, begins to fill her mind. “Like we were in the garden of the hurricane's eye. He would play chamber music. I still hear it.” Will reacts, hearing the familiar haunting SOLO CELLO that plagued his own nightmares rising in his ears.

HANNIBAL LECTER'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT -

Hannibal comes into the dark room. Moves toward the refrigerator. Stops. Lifts his nose to the air. “The same unfortunate aftershave. Too long in the bottle.” Hannibal opens the refrigerator door and the light illuminates a gun pointed at his head, Will Graham behind it. “Our last kitchen conversation was interrupted by Jack Crawford. I'd like to pick up where we left off. If memory serves, you were asking me if it'd feel good to kill you.”

“You've given that some thought.” Hannibal says as he fully Turns to Will.“You wanted me to embrace my nature, doctor. Just following the urges I kept down for so long, cultivating them as the inspirations they are.”

“You never answered my question. How would killing me make you feel?”

“Righteous.”

“Aren't you curious, Will? Why you? Why Miriam Lass? What does the Chesapeake Ripper want with you?”

“You tell me. How did Miriam Lass find you? You made sure no one could find you that way again.” Hannibal looks past the gun barrel, into Will's eyes. “If I'm not the Ripper, you murder an innocent man. You better than anyone know what it is to be wrongly accused. You were innocent, Will, and no one saw it.”

“Y/N saw it and I'm not innocent. You saw to that.” Will says with a dark tone. Y/N was right, Will had definitely changed.

“If I am the Ripper and you kill me, who will answer your questions? Don't you want to know how it ends?” Will doesn't respond, he just slowly steps backward into the shadows, disappearing into darkness. HANNIBAL watches the space where Will stood.

HANNIBAL LECTER'S OFFICE - DAY -

Miriam looks at Jack, who nods at her, and she moves around the room. Hannibal's very aware of this, sensing an agenda. “I would have been happy to come to your office, Jack.”

“I wanted to do this here.” Jack says seriously.  “I'm sure you have your reasons.”

Miriam crosses to the table with Hannibal's drawings. In a conscious repeat, Hannibal steps behind Miriam as she leafs through his drawings. HANNIBAL looms over her shoulder. “These are beautiful. Yours?” Miriam picks up a PORTRAIT DRAWING and studies it. “I enjoy portraiture. A subject's mental processes betrayed only by the expression on their face.”

“Miriam, I thought Dr. Lecter could be helpful during your recovery.” Jack says to Hannibal as He stares at the pair. “The most-important aspect of a successful recovery is recognizing that life will never be the same.” Hannibal says to The F.B.I Agents. “Then I'm well on my way to a successful recovery.” Miriam says with a cautious sarcasticness. “The Chesapeake Ripper sent me a message from you. It was recorded shortly after you were taken.” Jack explains to her.

“It's me? My voice?”

“Yes. I debated whether I should play it for you. Still debating.”

“I want to hear it.” He presses "play." she listens to her terrified voice. Jack watches Hannibal watching her, steely. “Jack... Jack, it's Miriam. I don't know where I am. I can't see anything. I was so wrong. Please, Jack. I don't wanna die like this.” Tears well in Miriam's eyes as the message cuts out. She remains quiet for a long moment, reeling, finally: “I don't remember it.” Miriam's hand absently scratches against her prosthetic.

“Would you like to try?” We HEAR the ambient noise of Miriam's breathing, heartbeat and circulatory system. EERIE CHORUS OF VOICES “You're waking now. Waking, calm. Waking in a pleasant room. Safe.” The CHORUS OF VOICES unifies into a single voice: “Open your eyes.”

HANNIBAL LECTER'S OFFICE - DAY-

The drapes are drawn and the room is dark. Miriam now sits opposite Hannibal. A METRONOME and LIGHT pulsing between them. Jack stands behind Hannibal, in the shadows. We hear a phone line RINGING, waiting for the line to pick up.

She holds a phone to her cheek, the light of the keypad the only source of illumination. The PHONE CONTINUES TO RING until an automated answer:  “Jack Crawford.” Then a BEEP tells us to leave a message.

Jack watches Miriam, over Hannibal, from the shadows. Hating this. Miriam's hand absently scratches her prosthesis. “I was so wrong. Please, Jack. I don't want to die like this.”

“Miriam, what was the last thing you remember before making that call, before waking in the darkness?” She looks past the strobing METRONOME to Jack in the shadows. The shadows seem to recede around him even as the blackness deepens. Jack looks at Miriam, and then, as she watches – his TORSO suddenly SPROUTS WOUNDS AND IMPLEMENTS, they burst

backward from his body and he becomes a standing WOUND MAN.

She averts her eyes from Jack Crawford as Wound Man, glancing down to see she's holding the WOUND MAN DRAWING -- the last thing she saw before Hannibal choked her unconscious.

“The Wound Man.”

BAU - EVIDENCE PROCESSING - DAY-

ZELLER and PRICE are presenting to Jack, Alana and Y/N.

“We found a fingerprint on a flower petal. A partial smudge. Not enough points for a courtroom, but it triggered a match. Hannibal Lecter.” Jimmy says to us as he turns the computer monitor. Alana looks shocked. Jack's world takes another turn. I don’t know why but I feel a sense of dread about our findings.

“After all these murders, the Ripper's gonna leave a print now?” Zeller says confused. Because he wants to frame someone else. “Will said whatever evidence we found would lead us away from the Chesapeake Ripper.” Jack says, I shake my head with a soft scoff. 

“We also found sodium amytal and scopolamine in Miriam's blood.” Zeller points out the blood results.“Dr. Chilton used scopolamine and sodium amytal on both Gideon and Will during their therapy. One claimed to be the Chesapeake Ripper, the other accused Hannibal.” Alana says and I close my eyes, Of course. Frederick.

“"You've got the right box, just looking in the wrong corner." Gideon pointed me right at him, told me Chilton was the Ripper.” Jack says, trying to make sense of everything.  “Wait. I'm confused. Who are we saying is the Chesapeake Ripper? Dr. Lecter or Dr. Chilton?” Jimmy says with furrowed brows.

“Bring them both in.” 

DR. CHILTON'S HOUSE - ENTRY HALL - DAY-

Chilton lets himself in through the front door and throws his keys onto a dresser. Walks into the house. He throws his coat over a chair back and then stops. Listens. A faint, regular BEEPING can be heard. Slow and rhythmic.

Chilton moves toward it, like SONAR PINGING. It gets louder at the foot of the stairs and he starts to ascend. Following the beeps like a beacon, drawing him closer.

DR. CHILTON'S HOUSE - UPSTAIRS LANDING - DAY-

Chilton comes up the stairs, onto the landing. The beeps are getting louder. A steady pulse. Confused and tense, Chilton moves down the hall. The slow beep plays a double rhythm with his own faster- beating heart. The beeps get louder… BEEP, BEEP... Getting slower...BEEP.... BEEP. Slower still. Winding down.

DR. CHILTON'S HOUSE - GUEST BEDROOM - DAY-

The slow beep becomes a SOLID TONE as Dr. Chilton pushes open the door and steps inside and – STOPS DEAD.

ABEL GIDEON -- now missing all four limbs -- lies on a bed. An IV drip under one clavicle, wounds neatly bandaged. The TONE rises up, becoming louder and louder in Chilton's

head. Overpowering his now-THUNDERING HEARTBEAT. Despite himself, Chilton moves forward, fascination and dread combined. 

All Gideon's limbs have been neatly removed. He stares, lifeless, at the ceiling. DEAD.

Chilton stares until finally he breaks the spell. Knows he is in trouble. Turns and runs for the stairs -- the TONE receding behind him.

DR. CHILTON'S HOUSE - ENTRY HALL - DAY-

Dr. Chilton comes hard and fast down the stairs, panicked. And falls headlong over a PACKED SUITCASE at the foot of the stairs. It wasn't there before. Chilton is sprawled, looks up as a pair of well-shined shoes appears before him. “Oh My God”

HANNIBAL LECTER'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY-

Hannibal moves from the timer to the oven and opens the door. Pulls out the tray onto the worktop. The roast looks fabulous, steaming and juicy and brown. He savors the aroma.

Smiles to himself, pleased with it.

“Are you absolutely sure I can't interest you in a bite?” Brian Zeller and Jimmy Price standing on the other side of the counter. “We need to get going, Dr. Lecter.” Zeller says as he wouldn't eat the meat anyway. “Will we be long? Only asking if I should refrigerate or cover and cool on the counter?”

“Put it in the fridge.”

DR. CHILTON'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN - DAY-

Dr. Chilton sits in an armchair. His eyes are closed. He stirs. Groans. Licks his lips. Rubs his face with a hand and it leaves a thick smear of blood down his cheek... Slowly, his eyes open. Groggy. He comes to, looks down at himself. His clothes are covered in blood. One hand holds a bloody chef's knife. There is a bloodied FBI-issue automatic handgun in his lap. He takes this in. Can't remember. Disbelieving. His own bloody footprints track across the floor from the kitchen --Where two DEAD FBI AGENTS have been displayed.

The first sits on the kitchen worktop, a curved gash in his abdomen. His intestines are looped around and tied into a large, ostentatious bow. The second is lying on the floor, kitchen knives and implements sticking from his bare torso -- a conscious reconstruction of the Jeremy Olmsted/Wound Man killing.

Chilton drops the knife. He stands and the gun thumps to the floor. He staggers closer to the bodies. A hand to his thumping head, leaving another blood smear. Up close, the tableau is even more horrific. Dazed, he picks up the gun and grabs a couple of suitcases.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - DAY-

Will Graham sits with a case file, reading, the dogs at his Feet and Y/N’s head resting on his shoulder. The pack of dogs all jumps up as one, BARKING and agitated. Will Graham moves to the window. 

Dr. Chilton, his coat thrown over his bloody clothes, pulls his RED SPORTS CAR up before the house. The stolen gun lies on the passenger seat and he puts it in a pocket before getting out of the car. He grabs his suitcases out of the trunk and starts walking for the house.

Chilton approaches, the front door opens and the dogs stream, BARKING, onto the porch and down at him. He stops dead, frightened. Looks up at Will and Y/N as he comes closer. 

“May I use your shower, please?”

DR. CHILTON'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY-

Jack Crawford is standing near the dead FBI agents, stares at Gideon's body being wheeled

through the house. Jimmy Price is with him.“Gideon hasn't been dead long, no more than a couple of hours. Chilton's been cutting steaks off of him for days.” Jimmy says from beside him.

Brian Zeller emerges from the library, holding an OLD MEDICAL TEXT. He approaches Jack, who stands over the Wound Man corpse. Zeller indicates the library he just came from. “Chilton's shelves are filled with old medical books.” Zeller opens a book revealing an illustration of Wound Man. “Wound Man.”

“This illustration's in a lot of early surgical texts. It's the Ripper's sixth victim.”

“Chilton was consulting on the Ripper case when Miriam disappeared. She must've talked to him, made the connection. Beverly made a connection, too.” Jack stares at the illustration, cold getting colder. “Chilton's been part of the Ripper investigation since before Will Graham, before Hannibal Lecter, before Miriam Lass. He had access to case files, he knew everything the Ripper needed to know.”

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - DAY -

“Frederick?” I call out softly as he sits dazed on Will’s couch Freshly showered. Clothes

Changed. “Y/N…” He looks up at me, his Breathing Ragged. “I’m so sorry this is happening to you.” I say as I sit down next to him. I wish this didn't happen. But of course Hannibal would make Fredrick his fall guy. “Frederick, I'm not gonna tell you to not run. If i was you I’d be almost to Italy. But what I am going to tell you is to be smart. You're an Intelligent man and a Good Psychiatrist, given with some ethical issues. You’re my Friend and I wish this wasn't Happening to you. But all I ask is for you to be Smart.” I say softly as he looks in my eyes and then nods. I stand up and join Will in the Kitchen. WILL GRAHAM'S KITCHEN - DAY -

Will watches as Chilton paces, freshly showered, clothes changed, hyped, brain working overtime:

“I have the same profile as Hannibal Lecter. Same medical and psychology background. We are both doctors of note in our fields. Of course it would be me. Hannibal was never going to kill me. I'm his patsy.” Frederick says as he pulls on his coat. “I as well have the same profile As you and Hannibal lecter” I say softly, He scoffs “No… The only difference is that you're a young woman. I have to leave the country. I'm leaving the country.”

“If you run, you look guilty.” Will says as he runs his hand up and down my back. He knows this is hard for me since Frederick is my friend.

“You didn't run and you looked plenty guilty. Abel Gideon was half-eaten in my guest room. I gun from his pocket and points it at a suddenly-wary Will.

“Will…What have you Done?”

“I called Jack Crawford.” Chilton shakes his head. “Frederick….” I say Warningly as I start to stand slowly. It wasn’t my idea. No, no, no…” He backs to the window, gun Flipping to Y/N. Looks out. Jack Crawford is getting out of his car and walking toward the house. Will moves toward the front door. “No. Stay there.”

“You're not a killer, Frederick.”  CHILTON -- behind the gun -- and he knows he won't fire. I turn to Frederick, “I’ll Try to give you A Head start. Go.” I say quickly and he nods. 

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - DAY-

Will walks onto the porch to meet Jack Crawford. Comes down the steps. Jack's face is murderous. “Why did you come alone, Jack?”

“Where is he?”

“Why did you come alone?” 

“Is he in the house?” Jack says trying to get into the house but Will pushes him back.“I told you everything isn't what it  seems. The Chesapeake Ripper is playing with us. All of us.” Will says to the man who clearly isn’t thinking straight. 

“I'm not playing.”

“You going to kill Chilton? Jack up the law and get underneath it?” Will raises a brow trying to reason with the murderous man. But all Jack does is bite back: “You wagging the same tongue that gave the order to kill Hannibal?”

“Difference is, Chilton's not the Chesapeake Ripper. Hannibal is.”

“The Chesapeake Ripper isn't playing all of us, Will. He's playing you.” Jack goes to enter. Will steps in his way. “Jack. Wait. Let me bring him out. He's got a gun.” Jack holds Will's gaze. Pulls out his own gun. “Good.”

He pushes past Will and walks up the steps, onto the porch. He steps in fast, gun first. Ready to fire. “Jack! Don’t!” I say as he marches up to me. “Where is He Y/N!” He says like a man on a mission, “Jack Please….He didn’t do this” “Y/N Where is He.” He says Dangerously, my eyes sadly drift to The back door swinging Closed...

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - WOODS - DAY-

The bare skeletal trees black against the crisp white snow.  totally-inappropriate shoes crunch through the snow, the owner tripping and stumbling --Frederick stumbles through the woods -- away from Will's house.  JACK CRAWFORD -- plowing through the snow after him. Gun at the ready. Bloodlust high in him.

Dr. Chilton stumbles, falls, dropping the gun he carries. He grabs it up and fights to his feet, gasping, terrified...“CHILTON?!!!” A raw yell -- it echoes through the woods. Chilton hears it around him, as if surrounded, and redoubles his efforts. He crosses a FROZEN STREAM, the ice cracking under his feet, the water below sucking off his shoes. He clambers up the other side...

Jack progresses faster, more determined. Following the footprints ahead of him. Breaking into a run. Jack sees the limping silhouette of Chilton ahead of him. “Chilton!” He raises his gun and fires. THUNK! The bullet scatters splinters from a tree as Chilton passes it. KA-CHOO, KA-CHOO, KA-CHOO -- the receding echoes of the shot ring around the woods.

Dr. Chilton moves into a snow-filled clearing amidst the trees. Staggers across it. “Stop right where you are.”

Chilton turns to face his hunter. Jack has his gun at arm's length, sighting down the barrel.

Jack's finger on the trigger. As Jack approaches, Chilton drops to his knees in the snow.

He holds out his arms like a penitent. Like Jesus on the cross. as the gun falls from Chilton's fingers and nestles in the snow. Jack moves toward Chilton, finger aching on the trigger. His ‘nemesis’ finally before him.

Jack stops ten feet from Chilton who gasps, exhausted. Head down. His arms slowly FALL TO HIS SIDES. JACK, finger tightening on the trigger, conflicted. Chilton looks up at him. Scared. Exhausted and empty.

BAU - EVIDENCE PROCESSING - DAY-

Dr. Chilton's face is now clean of blood. He looks exhausted, standing on a white sheet as he hands his clothes to Jimmy Price. Brian Zeller writes down the inventory…”...one two-piece suit in charcoal gray, one white shirt, fifteen-inch collar, one billfold containing cash, credit cards and driver's license. One set of car keys…” Chilton stares forward. “I need to speak with Will Graham. Or Dr. L/N.”

“I don't care what you need.” Their hatred is palpable. CHILTON -- his predicament landing hard. “One Montblanc fountain pen in silver and black…”

 BAU - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY-

Dr. Chilton now sits opposite Alana Bloom and Y/N is against the wall watching sadly. He is cuffed to the table and wears an ORANGE JUMPSUIT. “Does it have to be you Two? It seems like a final indignity.”

“Not like you to hide an achievement.” Alana says softly, disgusted by the man she once called friend. “The achievement is not mine.”

“Whose is it? Hannibal Lecter's?” Alana asks, still refusing to open her eyes. “Those are just words coming out of your mouth. No weight to them. No consideration they may be true.” Frederick says blankly as his eyes go to me. “They're not true. You were using coercive therapies, influencing Abel Gideon and Will Graham to point the Ripper investigation in false directions.” Alana says, I know why Everyone thinks it is so but I also know why it is not.

“You can't see it. And you won't see it until it's too late. Don't say I didn't warn you, Dr. Bloom.” He stares at the TWO-WAY MIRROR they are reflected in. JACK AND MIRIAM Stand in the viewing room. Watching this interview. She stares at Chilton. Her prosthetic arm is folded across her chest. She scratches it furiously with the other hand.

“In fact, I believe those should be my last words on the subject of the Ripper until my lawyer arrives.” Frederick says before going silent. As I nod softly. 

Miriam is shaking. Jack watches her. as she unravels. The shaking is involuntary, some giant feeling trying to escape. Tears fall down her cheeks. 

“It's him. It's him. It's him.” Jack moves to her, her distress is all the answer he needs, and he grabs her in a bear hug. Pulling her to him, her eyes away from the glass. A moan escapes her as she cries into Jack's shoulder. She rocks against him and then pushes away. He releases her. Realizes too late that she now holds his gun. Miriam lifts the gun and aims. Fires through the glass.

 the glass spiderwebbing around the hole. Through the hole, we PUSH IN on Miriam behind the gun barrel. As the bullet hits Chilton in the face, his head snaps back and he goes over backward in a spray of blood. Alana diving for cover. Y/N Gasps loudly.  

ALANA -- on the floor, looking at Chilton who lies half-up,half-down, his body held up awkwardly by the shackles on his wrists. Blood ripping from his ravaged face to the floor. Y/N Moves to try and help him. Her Medical instincts Kicking in.

HANNIBAL LECTER'S OFFICE - NIGHT-

Hannibal Lecter sits in one of the two armchairs. A glass of red wine in hand. Enjoying the music. A KNOCK at the door disturbs his reverie. He places his glass down and goes to the door. Opens it to find Will Graham. Will has cut his hair – shorter, neater. Everything about him seems focused. “Hello, Will.”

“May I come in?” Will asks Softly,  “Do you intend to point a gun at me?”

“Not tonight.” He lets Will into the room. “Are you expecting someone?” Will asks as he knows the only person Hannibal’s expecting is him. “Only you.” Will smirks: “Kept my standing appointment open.” it's a statement not a question. “And you're right on time.”

“I have to deal with you. And my feelings about you. I think it's best if I do that directly.” Will says as he glances around the familiar room. “First you have to grieve for what is lost and what has changed.” Hannibal Gazes at the changed man. Proud he changed him. “I've changed. You changed me.” 

“The friendship that we had is over. The Chesapeake Ripper is over.” Hannibal says inquisitively “It had to be Miriam, didn't it? She was compelled to take his life so she could take her own back.” Will asks as he places his Jacket on his Chair. “How will you take your life back?”

“I'd like to resume my therapy.” Hannibal stares as Will sits in his familiar chair. After a long moment, Hannibal follows suit and sits opposite him. the two of them silhouetted in their chairs, regarding each other.

“Where shall we begin?” As the corners of Will's mouth threat to curl...

[kapa56]

Hello Banana Fish fandom,

After being a long time lurker in the BF fandom and reading every fanfic possible on ao3 I decided to be brave and write my first ever fanfiction.

I kept debating if I should post it here as well for visibility but I was scared because I know it's not as good as I want it to be but I am willing to remaster it after I finish it.

What is it about?

TW: substance abuse, suicide attemps and regular BF traumatising topics

After Ash's death and continous traumatic nighmares, Yut-Lung starts messing around any drugs he can find trying to find an escape from reality. Unfortunately for him, he is can barely get high on them due to learning how to be immune to poisons.

Only alcohol makes him feel something. It almost kills him a few times and makes him want to cut himself hoping that he bleeds out. Poor Sing finds almost each time and tries to help him anyway he can.

Somehow 5 years after Ash and Lao died, Yut-Lung is still alive but has an insane ideea: given his experience with chemistry, he decides to modify Banana Fish into a regular but more effective drug that can make him forget for a few hours about himself.

What he didn't expect,is to have vivid dreams about waking up in the bathroom of a sketchy night club where music is blasting loud as hell and where he sees some ghosts from the past.

Let me know what you think🫶

[your-queer-dad]

Hey um tw suicide attemp i think kinda??

So yesterday i was like really sad and i almost tried to hang myself but one of my friends convinced me to not do it and said "just think you'll never live through today again" and "if you're this sad now there was probably something that made you feel something else before" i know it doesnt make sense but i feel better

Also Ive been clean for 7 months wohoo

Hey kiddo- I'm really glad you're still with us. I've been there and I know it's really really hard sometimes- but it sounds like your friend really helped and I'm glad to have you here. The world is a much brighter, better place with you here and I'm so proud of you for not going through with it.

I'm also really proud of you for being 7 months clean!! That's amazing!!!! You've done such a good job and I'm so so proud of you.

Keep your head up and please feel free to reach out anytime, I'm always here to help day or night. I love you and I'm so proud of you kiddo!

- dad x

[saszaszeszi]

VENT please minors dni with this post

Tw. Suicide attemps mentioned, suicidal thoughts, sh, ed

So here I am again. In the stage of considering suicide attempt again. Oh well even if I won't chicken out I will probably fail again lol.

I don't know what I want anymore. I think I want to bleed. Also I want to starve. Yet after all I still dare to want to be a normal healthy person.

I thought I finnaly fully accepted myself, that I won't be happy nor healthy. Yet seeing healthier people make me feel disgusted and jelaous.

Why these so called healthy people are so hateful towards mentally ill people? Why you all healthy ones want to remind me I will never be loved. That my scars make me look crazy.

I just want peace.

I don't want to remember.

I don't want to struggle with my health.

I don't want to feel worse cause of what i went throught.

Maybe suicide is not so bad? After all I will take out the trash which is my life all by myself. Throw it out.

It's not like I have any hope anyway.

Oh well, I guess I will sleep with this decision and make myself some goodnight tea.

I want to starve, yet I promised for sake of someone else I will stop. Maybe i should take an snack?

[idk-why-imhere]

major (and concerning) life update

tw: daddy issues, sh, *attemps*

so, today was all cool and normal... until tonight. there's this girl ik (we're gonna call her A). A and me have been friends for like our whole lives, basically. now... her mom died last year and her dad was never rlly present and he's an old ass bitch with a comunist mindset. she's now in his care. okay, she hates him, I hate him, we all hate him but thing is, her mental is fucking spiraling and I'm starting to get concerned and slightly controlling. she started to sh which isn't great, if it ain't obvious. thing is: I care ab her. I do, she's great but I don't want her being in pain and shit. and she's concerning me even more bc she asked if she should even eat breakfast tmrr... she's starting to become just like another friend of ours (let's call her zizi). zizi is depressed and suicidal and she pinky promised she won't attempt again and I talked with A and it's not getting exactly better. there's progress but she relapsed. (zizi, I mean)

also, A does gymnastics and that shit is like ballet: leaves you with fucking trauma. her mental is spiralling cuz of that too and her dad doesn't wanna pull her out and told the instructor about how A doesn't like getting yelled at... what did they do? higher a therapist. and who is this therapist? THE GRANDMA OF A GIRL THAT'S I THAT GYMNASTICS CLUB. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FLYING CLUCKING FUCK. and A messaged me that she might sh again tonight so, ofc, I'll check her wrists tmrr. now, I was suspecting her cuz I saw the cuts and they were a little too fimiliar bc zizi started sh like 2 years ago. now, I know they look a lil suspicious but I didn't say anything until she came clean ab it and, on 28 may, she has a breakdown about her life. I'm scared for her. and yk the voices? yh, they getting louder for her. it got to a point once where she couldn't even shower without supervision bc she'd drown herself.

and ik I'm oversharing a lot and ik I should do that and that this is a sensitive topic but I can't js not keep this on log.

as of what ik right now, A has ab 4 cuts on her left wrists and zizi started again and her left wrist is full. A has been clean for ab 4 days... or hours, I ain't even sure.

[flowers-shouldnt-die]

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Vilgefortz of Roggeveen/Tissaia de Vries, Vilgefortz of Roggeveen & Tissaia de Vries Characters: Tissaia de Vries, Vilgefortz of Roggeveen, Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Sabrina Glevissig, Triss Merigold, Margarita Laux-Antille, The whole cast Additional Tags: tw: suicide attemp, tw: depression, tw: a "complicated" relationship, tw: most likely some smut in the future, stockholm syndrome-ish, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/No Comfort, Emotional Hurt, some fluff peppered in somewhere Series: Part 2 of Is This Happiness? Summary:

When is love turning into an obsession? When does forgetting feel better than forgiveness? What are these two idiots doing?

On the bright side, she is not dead.

[spangelmybeloved]

BtVS moments that just were handled poorly imo, pt. 1 (Disclaimer, this is my opinion, you are free to disagree with me)

So...instead of posting the next set of my BtVS sexuality headcanons, I thought I'd discuss something in BtVS that never fails to get my blood boiling (and not in a good way). I don't usually do stuff like this...I tend to be pretty positive, but I got something to say and darn it I'm going to say it!

TW attempted suicide

Spike's attemped suicide in Doomed. Is treated like a joke. And I mean, I have a dark messed up sense of humor. I like dark humor. I like the dark humor on BtVS. However, I still think that this episode was handled poorly. Spike really was trying to kill himself. And he would have succeeded if Willow and Xander hadn't stepped it, and might've tried again if Willow hadn't insisted that they bring Spike along. (this is a great example of Willow being one of the few characters that actually treats Spike like a person, especially early on. She's kind to him as early as season 3, when he kidnaps her and she still tries to comfort him). And it just makes me frustrated that Spike was so clearly miserable, and it's never addressed again. Like. I guess he can fight demons after that so he's happy. But I think there was more to it than that. Being helpless against humans, Dru leaving him and then Harmony dumping him as well, and possibly PTSD from his stay with the Initiative (not too much canon for that last one, but it would make sense.). But nope. By the next episode, he's fine and we're all just supposed to forget it? And it's played off as a joke when he's so clearly deeply miserable? For a show with so much trauma and mental health issues, sometimes they got handled really poorly...

[xxradzxx]

long ass vent about how I'm sick of everything and I wanna cry

tw: talk of abortion, rape, sexual assault, and the topic of suicide.

oh my fucking god I hate it. I hate it all. I already have to worry about being abducted and raped every time I leave my house, now asshat knobs in the government want me to just, exist for cooking and breeding purposes? And they just tell me and other vagina-havers to "close your legs"????? Oh yeah, sorry, the doctor just asked the dying patient if he trued to catch the bullet that went through his fucking thick skull.

I hate all of these politicians who are voting for this abortion ban. Fuck you. I hope you all get fucking hurt.

You might as well take away our period products too, huh? And bras. And fucking everything else we have. Who needs those? Hmm???

I was NOT made for breeding purposes. I was made to become a weapon of political advocation. I am an active threat, you fucking asshat bitches who want everything we've been working for over a century to obtain.

Do you want a spike in suicide attemps? More deaths from fucking DIY abortions? Because that's how you get death spikes.

[thesunsherd]

My videos on Wallace's Backstory

TW for Cult behavior, Cult grooming, and Suicide attemps

[hetalia-eatingdisorderfanfiction]

Almost Too Late

Title: Almost Too Late

Author: Madaradaradara

Main Characters: England, America, France, Canada, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, Northern Ireland

Summary/Excerpt: England has had enough. He doesn't think that he has anything left, so he attempts the unthinkable.