#ugh i have so many thoughts about this subject and how it’s linked to both his life in general and how it contrasts with his kindness

[signanothername]

Yes boy, fule that rage using that suffocating fear that’s clouding your senses

[ninapi]

New to this (Akaashi version)

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Word Count: 4528

Note: This is a bonus chapter for my ¨New to this (Akaashi Version)¨ series, you can read it on its own, but it would make more sense if you read the rest (link here).

Bonus chapter: Our very first Valentines

Akaashi always hated Valentines day. Back in school lots of girls would try to convey their feelings towards him and he would always have to reject them as he didn’t even know who they were. The concept always feeling foreign to him.

On the contrary he had Bokuto who thoroughly enjoyed all the attention he got and the mountains of chocolate boxes littering his desk. He was just as popular with the girls but their approach was very different.

This is the first time in his life that he is slightly nervous about the holiday. Was he supposed to do something? He knows in school, girls are the ones in charge of the activities, but what happens when you indeed have a girlfriend? He feels he has to do something but isn’t entirely sure, so he decides to call for help. 

“Bokuto-san, I saw you are here in Tokyo this week, I was wondering if you have practice this afternoon? If you have time, maybe we could go to that burger chain you seem to enjoy and chat for a bit? I have something I would like to hear your opinion on.” Saying Bokuto was over the moon is an understatement, Akaashi needed HIS help? For what? What could this possibly be about. “I always have time for my AKAASHI! How about we meet for lunch? I do have practice but it isn´t until later on the afternoon.” Bokuto is holding his phone with both hands, a little too tight, trying not to sound clingy. Truth is, he loves his team but he dearly misses Akaashi, not only was he a great setter, the best if that was up to him, but he considered him his friend, his confident, he knew Akaashi would bail him out of jail if necessary, always the best partner. “Yeah, that works. See you around noon then. I´ll text you when I get there.”

When Akaashi arrived at the fast food place, Bokuto was already waiting for him in his preferred table, he wasn't lying when he said he liked this place, he even had a point card for discounts and everyone working there knew which table he liked to sit at and what he would normally order is.

While Bokuto ordered five cheese burgers and a milk shake, Akaashi only ordered a sprite and some fries to munch on while discussing his problems with his friend.

“So you said you needed my help?” Bokuto puffs his chest out proudly, waiting to be of assistance to his troubled ex-partner. “Yeah, you are the most experienced person I know in the subject, I couldn’t think of anyone else.” mumbles Akaashi while sipping on his drink. “I…well you know I have a girlfriend now, right?” Bokuto nods to this, never thought he would need love advise from him, best day ever!

“So, I don’t know how Valentines works for like couples. I read some posts online saying I should take her on a date or something, but isn’t Valentines day for girls to give stuff out to boys and confess their feelings? Do I have to do something for her now that we are official? Or does white day applies for couples too and that’s when I should give her something?” Akaashi’s cheeks tinting a soft rosy color as he speaks, he wishes he didn’t have so many questions but he really loves you and wants you to feel loved.

“Ugh, sorry to disappoint you but my valentines day experience stops in high school. I do get chocolates and gifts from my fans, but I haven’t been in a relationship long enough to ever have the need to worry about that. I would say though, how about you play it safe? Just take her on a date that day, treat her nicer than usual, make her feel special. That should do it.” he says in between burger bites. Who would have thought he could get real advise from Bokuto in anything non volleyball related. He hates he had to do this, but he is glad he has someone he could trust and isn’t laughing on his face for his lack of experience. “Ok, yeah you're right. (Y/N) isn’t the type to have high expectations on things, she probably isn’t even hoping to get anything.” he was in fact right, just having some time to spend with him would be more than enough for you.

“Then you should take this opportunity to surprise her, make it even more special!” that actually makes sense, but what could he do to surprise you? You’ve been together for a while now but you never really voice out things you’d like to do. Whenever you want to do something you’d do it right away and whenever you wanted something you would just get it yourself. A date night would be nice, nothing too fancy, just a night out for the both of you to be alone together, sounds like a good idea.

Bokuto keeps on inhaling his burgers, leaving Akaashi to his thoughts, he knows he is probably figuring out what to do inside that head of his. “I have a problem though, we have kids. How can I take her out on a date if we have two toddlers in the house.” he could call in a babysitter, but sitters are in high demand for Valentines, does he even have enough time for this. “ I can take care of them. Believe it or not, I have no plans for this year and is not often that my best friend needs my help. I can go over and we can play a board game, maybe watch a movie and order some pizza. Just go have fun with your girl.” he gives him two thumbs up and a bright smile and once again Akaashi is just grateful for having him; something he would keep to himself.

After finishing their lunch they both headed separate ways, Akaashi back to work and Bokuto went to practice.

He was a bit worried about leaving two children with Bokuto, but Seiji was there, he would make sure Bokuto doesn’t set the house on fire.

The preparations for his surprise outing were running smoothly. He thought a moon viewing picnic would be nice, majority of couples will be doing typical things like going to the movies or fancy dinners, so he looked for a nice quiet place to bring you to. He found a promising looking river not too far from their house, not many people should be there as it wasn’t a popular destination. 

February is still pretty cold, so he thought about making a small fire and bring some sausages and ingredients for s’mores. 

This was the second time he scratched his original plan, the moon viewing picnic turned into a semi-camping experience. He found out there were camping grounds near said river and he could even rent a large tent from them. That was perfect. Exactly what he wanted. 

˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ

Valentines day was finally here and you sneaked out of bed around three in the morning to finish the chocolates for your man.

You’ve been practicing all week and were finally satisfied with how they turned out.

You even bought heart shaped trays and colored chocolate pens to decorate the treats. The wrapping was also beautiful. Akaashi isn’t a guy for big pink hearts and glittery ribbons, so you got a golden box and used a black ribbon to close it, topping it with a hand written note. You stuffed the box carefully in his work bag and went back to bed before he could notice your absence.

That morning both of you opted for the same plan, feign ignorance. Both ignored completely the fact that today was even a special day, hoping to surprise each other.

˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ

It was lunch time and Akaashi grabbed his bag and walked over to the cafeteria on the second floor of his work building to enjoy his homemade bento made by the woman he loves.

He left his bag on a bench while heading over to a nearby vending machine for a bottle of green tea, when a co-worker tapped his shoulder, getting his attention. “Something fell out of your bag, man. Looked shinny.” the man wiggled his eyebrows at Akaashi suggestively before heading back to his office.

Something shinny? That’s weird, he only keeps his bento and chopsticks in that bag.

He spots the shinny object under the bench, quickly lifting it from the ground for further inspection. The box had a little envelope tucked to the side of the wrapping so he decided to take a peek. It probably wasn’t his so he wanted to know who he should return it to.

To his surprise, he could immediately recognize your handwriting, “Happy Valentines day, my love. Hope you have a nice day at work! –Love, (Y/N).” his brain stopped functioning. He knows this is normal, but he was so focused on the date plans that he didn’t even expect to get something. He opens the box and looks at the assortment of chocolates presented to him. They were all different. Some had intricate patterns in what looked like edible glitter. Some had caramel filling. Some were even made out of white and pink chocolate. Not even one of them was the same as other. He could see your dedication just with a glance and his heart grew three sizes right there. Some of his female co-workers stopped to look at the chocolate display feeling envious, not only of the fact that he was taken but they actually wanted to try the delicious looking treats. Of course, he would not allow this, those chocolates were his, made with love, all his, just like you.

He sent you a text thanking you for the chocolates and attached a selfie with a pink heart chocolate over his lips, he still isn’t fond of that kind of interaction but he knows you go crazy when he does that sort of thing. And you did, immediately setting it as your Lock Screen.

˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ

Bokuto was so eager that he ended up arriving at your place even before Akaashi, and you were confused to say the least. You know who he is, not only did Akaashi go to school with him, he was currently Atsumu’s teammate, but you’ve never been properly introduced before nor did Akaashi mention anything about him coming to your house today.

“OH GOD are you AKAASHI’S girlfriend? You are even prettier than I imagined!! So this is what it takes to break guys like him and Tsumtsum. Well I would break too, you are gorgeous!” he embraced you tightly, making you blush in confusion. He was so touchy.

“That’s me, yes. You can call me, (Y/N). It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’ve heard lots about you.” you smiled up at him from his deathly squeeze and he can only hope they are all just good things.

Akaashi comes to your rescue, startled at the scene unfolding before his eyes. ¨Bokuto-san can you please unhand my girlfriend.” he jumps at the sound of Akaashi’s voice, unlatching himself from you. “Did he do anything crazy to you, (Y/N)? I’m sorry, I didn’t think he would come so early.” you shook your head, walking over to him and kissing his cheek, “Welcome home, and no, he didn’t do anything crazy. He seems to be just very affectionate. I like that.” you beamed over to Bokuto and he could swear he is in the presence of an angel right now. How can you be so perfect? You didn’t even mind his skinship, that was new for him. It makes sense though, Akaashi deserves nothing less than perfection. “But why is he here on Valentines day? Shouldn’t you be in a date or something, Bokuto-san? If I would have known you were coming I would have a nicer dinner prepared.” You start making your way towards the kitchen but are suddenly stopped by both men, each grabbing one of your wrists. “No, no, no, don’t worry about me, (Y/N)-chan, I came here for my valentines date! You don’t have to do anything.” he should change his name to ‘Confusing Koutarou’, what did he even mean? thankfully you have Akaashi as interpreter, “He is here to cover for us. Finding a babysitter is very hard for this type of events so he offered himself to take care of the kids for tonight.” you gasped at this. Why did you need a babysitter? Reading your mind, Akaashi continues, “I’m taking you out. Let me get changed real quick so we can leave.” you are going out? What? Where? What should you wear? He really is in sync with you and is coming out a lot today, “You don’t have to change, you look perfect as you are right now. We aren´t going anywhere fancy so just make sure to grab a warm coat.” you nodded to this, heading over to the kitchen and bringing Bokuto with you by the hand. “I made dinner already, everything’s here, you can eat it all if you like. The kids already finished homework so there’s nothing much to do, they know what they need to do when is bed time, which by the way is 8PM, please don’t let them stay up late otherwise they won’t wake up in time for school tomorrow.” Bokuto nods, his face lighting up at the sight of the home cooked meal, he was ready to treat the kids to the largest pizza available for delivery, but this was so much better, is not every day he had the chance to have a meal like this. You noticed his phone peeking out of his back pocket, so you grabbed it and quickly added your contact info in it, making Bokuto gasp loudly, his chastity has been compromised and you didn’t even blink. “There. Keiji doesn’t answer his phone as quickly as he should, so please contact me if something happens.” you smile at him and take him over to the living room, telling him to get comfortable while you go call the kids.

Seiji still remembers him from the day they ate ice cream together so he jumps on him, making him chuckle, “Uncle Bokuto!!”, he tickles Seiji’s sides making him laugh and Bokuto has never been happier, is this what having a family feels like? Home cooked meals, warm hugs and cute baby giggles. Maybe he should get one.

Kimi doesn’t remember him but since Seiji does, she trusts him.

Once Akaashi is ready to leave, he lets your kids know you will be back late so to please listen to uncle Bokuto while you guys come back and they both agree, excitedly waiting for Bokuto to pull out the board games he brought to entertain them.

It warms your heart knowing there’s someone else you can trust your kids and Akaashi to.

˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ

The place you were being taken to wasn’t far but way up in a mountain, you’ve never been there before and you are stunned by the view. It was such a pretty place and completely empty, no one had decided to go there to celebrate the holiday, a shame really, it was breathtaking.

Akaashi grabs your waist gently, pulling you in for a back hug while enjoying the high quality of the air and the view with you. This already was the perfect valentines day. But it was far from over.

Akaashi needed to get the fire started before natural light was completely gone so he let you stay there to enjoy the beautiful sunset while he worked on it.

You’ve never seen such a majestic sunset before, the sky looked just like a watercolor painting. Pink and orange tones blending in together with the purples of the coming darkness; the chilled air causing your cheeks to turn rosy while it danced among the trees.

Once the sun was down you went looking for your man, quickly finding him crouching over some wood, but your breath was taken once more by the display behind him. 

A large tent, more like a canopy was set up already, fairy lights hanging from the top and cushions littering the floor underneath. It was a beautiful secluded little paradise made just for the two of you.

The fire was now alive and Akaashi took your hand, guiding you over to the pillows and sitting there with you, bringing you closer so you would sit in between his legs. He was littering the back of your neck with pecks while you played with his fingers, the widest smile covering your face. 

You love this man.

“When did you prepare all this? Looks like it could have taken a long time to set up.” you look around, still mesmerized by the cozy space he created for you. “I rented the tent from the owner of the campsite, the rest well I kinda tricked my boss and got out of work a few hours early today to get it ready on time.” he really is the best boyfriend, you knew this already but it surprises you every time.

“Do you like it?” he mumbles against your skin, your neck now full of red little marks. “I love it, Keiji. Thank you.” you let your head fall onto his shoulder, giving him more access to your skin and you silently curse at the tent for being so exposed.

The air around you both was getting hotter as time went by and you were sure it had nothing to do with the bonfire, Akaashi noticing this decides to pull out the food, leaving your slightly disheveled self to regain some well deserved air.

“I got us some sausages and stuff to make s’mores. Should we eat some?” you haven’t had s’mores since you were a kid, excitement of a very different kind now filling your chest. “God, Keiji. You really know your way up to a woman’s heart. Should I be concerned?” you chuckle and he pulls you closer to the fire, preparing the treats for you to indulge. “Nah, I don’t really care about other women, your heart is the only one I need to be in.” he didn’t even hesitate and you are pretty sure that your heart skipped more than one beat at his reply.

Getting the s’mores ready was more of a challenge than you thought it would be, Akaashi being unable to keep his hands to himself for long, “Keiji, we are never going to eat them if we don’t focus.” you giggle as he is currently very occupied figuring out the front buttons of the dress you are wearing. “You gotta stop being so cute if you want me to focus.” It’s all he says and you don’t complain.

The night goes on like that, eating some sausages, chatting about everything and then some, of course more kisses and wandering hands, choosing a remote place being the best idea he ever had in his life.

You go back home around two in the morning, immediately noticing a snoring giant sleeping on the sofa, both of your kids sleeping on him, Seiji sprawled face down on his chest and Kimi hugging one of his legs.

This really makes it difficult to top next year, today has already been the best Valentines day you both could ever wish for.

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Happy Valentines day, my lovely readers .

︶︶ ꒱ ﹀↷♡ ꒱..°

Original Story Masterlist

[goji-pilled]

MK-S: Candeloro Journals number 7, and a link back to journal 6. Enjoy!

March 14: Yep, rats were hostile. And now I know what happens if I get tears in my ribbon arms: THEY FREAKING HURT!

I don’t know if it’s my nature as a witch, or if I was always this vengeful (never really had anyone or anything that hurt me so much it made me desire to hurt them back tenfold. I’m referring to physical hurt, and Kyubey can’t feel pain, though not for lack of effort on my part…or Homura’s, Oktavia’s, everybody. So he doesn’t count.), but I took Immense satisfaction in squeezing that abomination until it popped…or broke? It was more of a little bit of both. Strangest part-(I need to say this as I just wrote those two words. “Strangest part”…I’m a freaking sentient cloth creature, inside a non-Euclidean space in between the walls of my house, and I’m about to refer to part of a clockwork rat (sidenote, that actually could work as a name): HOW DOES ANYTHING STILL SUPRISE ME ENOUGH TO EARN THE USE OF “STRANGE”?!?!)

Where was I? Oh, strangest part (Nagisa, first quit spoiling the journal for yourself. Though I do thank you for acknowledging my wishes when I was having a personal rant/vent a while back. Second, and the main point, I’m not being a hypocrite with the use of word strange, that was commentary on how bizarre my life has ended up compared to what I ever thought was possible a few years ago.) was that it didn’t bleed blood. (Ugh, another side note so soon? That aside, since it didn’t leak blood, does that mean that “bleed” would be an accurate term? I don’t care enough to bother changing my writing style if I’m wrong, but…well, call me curious. Then again, we can say a leaky pipeline may be “bleeding oil”, so I guess as long as we clarify the substance we’re good. Hmm…I guess “we” refers to writers in general. Or maybe I’m writing as if I’m conversation to my future self if/when I look back at these.)

The creature bled a black substance. I believe it was oil some form of oil, but…it was leaking out of living, or at least once living veins. It looks as though this mechanical monstrosity cannibalized a former subject of the Rat King’s army. (Just realized not everyone uses that term like that; it wasn’t a machine that ate the rat, it was a machine built using or around the corpse of the rat.) Blood vessels used as plumbing to a mechanical heart, some sort of rusty pump. Bones used for their original purpose, and bolted to metal frames that gave it its extra bulk and newer claws. Skin really only covered most of the head, all of the back, but only bits and pieces of the front.

It’s a bit hard to role-play with my own curiosity about this thing. So many questions are flying through my head: Was this one of the actual rats in our walls? Who built this thing? Was it built or did it just sort of manifest into existence? Oh, yikes, are there more? That’s a scary thought. And quite frankly, I think I should be more horrified at how a dead body was used for a machine, since if you applied that previous statement to a human body it would be mortifying…but, I just can’t help but think about how cool this is. An actual monster, a creature to fight unrelated to a (another?) Witch or her familiars.

Oh, another question: would this thing still exist/work outside of the Expanse? (Loving how naturally that flows of the tongue/pen) Is this built to survive on its own, or is this place the only thing keeping it held together? Dang, now I think I get why some people like dissection in school; wasn’t sure why some people liked cutting things open, but now I think I see the appeal in satisfying the curiosity of discovering how something else works. It’s much easier to view it as unnecessary when someone else has already cut a creature open and documented their results.

Ribbon arm healed up well with magic. I was tempted to see what happens if I just shifted back to human form with it still torn, but decided against it; either it would heal or my arm would be split in half from hand to elbow. Could probably heal it still, but then I’d get blood on the floor, and it’s always hard to remove if I even can…why is that anyway? You know what, got my phone with me, I’m gonna google it…oh, after a first result on google not-so-deep-dive, apparently it’s because of the hemoglobin; the same stuff that causes exposed blood to clot also causes it to bind to surfaces. The more you know.

MK-S: Had the first half of that entry sitting around for a while now. Lost track of what I wanted to do next, so just a single day entry of Candeloro reacting to a new enemy and some of the thoughts running through her head. Hope this was fun to read!

NEW ENTRY LETS GOOOO

[orioo]

Playlist to Set the Moods

a long and sudden conversation about this story with my good friend (yuri, if you’re reading this, ily <3) made me realize just how many songs have inspired me to write certain details, have influenced my decisions in the creaiton of this project and/or have set me in the right mood for whatever scene i was coming up with or describing.

so, obviously, i compiled them all in a playlist! :D originally it was simply meant to be shared with my friend, since it was a subject we discussed, but then inspiration took over and ... well ... this is the labor of it.

i have yet to familiarize myself with spotify, so the playlist can be found on youtube right here! i wish everybody a pleasant time listening! ^^

ahead i will list all the songs in their respective order (+links) and offer a small explanation as to what mood they’re meant to represent - both for myself, so i won’t forget, and for you, dear readers <3

1. Curses - The Crane Wives: funky and jazzy song that sets the ambience of the world - light fantasy/medieval with a sprinkling of magic. it could also fit the positive feel of the witches, as well as offer a slight description of their habitat.

2. Afterglow - Ed Sheeran: how Filip is seen through Kaji’s eyes, when the pining is at its peak and after he has come to terms with his romantic feelings. could also be called Kaji’s pining theme song.

3. Heaven Knows - Five For Fighting: this song determined me to have Filip die at the end of the final battle for justice. however, i’m a weak-hearted person that has gotten way too attached to these characters. he won’t be dying, but he will be on the brick of death for the sake of Milo’s character arc apex. it’ll also help Kaji figure out his feelings run deeper than he thought! :D tldr; this song fits Filip’s almost death scene.

4. Queen of Nothing - The Crane Wives: Phala’s self-doubts and uncertainties about herself as a goddess and her (very important) role of the mender. this only applies to the beginning of their adventures - as the apostles train and begin being more in sync with their powers, Phala grows significantly more confident in her abilities and the subteam’s potential.

6. Sunshine - OneRepublic: Milo’s feel good theme song ^w^

5. The Moon Will Sing - The Crane Wives: Shreya and Maple’s relationship theme song. can especially be seen from Shreya’s view - she has been a merenary her whole life; somebody that has no home and is only appreciated for her prowess in battle, but Maple has chosen and loved her for herself.

after main6 get detected as magic users by the upper class elders, 2 of the best fighters across all A.G hqs get sent after them to hunt down their source or magic - if external, then to be destroyed, if internal, then detainment and further actions would be decided. one man and one woman; of which the man will be Phala’s love interest towards the end of the series. they’re not necessarily villains, but have been brought up with the conception that all magic wielders are evil. those 2 (currently still unnamed) have been in a relationship at some points, but broke off and remained partners in combat - they can;t really stand eachother though.

7. A Little Wicked - Valerie Broussard: brief explanation needed for this and some other songs ahead. read below then return. welcome back! this song has the perfect vibes for the woman. (ugh, i hate having unnamed characters)

8. Running with the Wolves (WolfWalkers Version) - AURORA: the official Main6 theme song! :D they’re a happy bunch of strangers turned friends that are loyal to eachother; similar to wolves! the song also feels adventurous, which is exactly the genre of my story ^^

9. Touch The Sky (From "Brave"/Soundtrack) - Julie Fowlis - perfect theme song for a training montage in which the apostles learn to use their powers. featuring lots of hilarious fails, endearing bonding moments between the protagonists and emotion-filled hugs of success.

10. Queendom (Harp Version) - AURORA: roll credits song in which ‘queendom’ refers to the Kingdom. presents the outcome of every character we’ve become aquainted with and their respective character arc’s resolution. must be noted that Filip will get a dedicated moment at minute 2:50 of the song in which he will kneel before his brother’s grave as the new king of his region.

12. Far From Home (The Raven) - Sam Tinnesz: Kaji’s theme song - more specifically his way of viewing the world before Filip saved him from himself. as an orphan, he never really had a home. that is, until Filip took him under his wing and became his brother (brotherhood was Kaji’s initial way of perceiving their relationship, way before he realized that his feelings run way deeper than a familial bond). 

11. Sleeping Giants - The Crane Wives: the overall song represents the adventure theme of this story. the chorus (specifically the last one where "i feel something calling me" is repeated 4 times) depicts the 4 apostles each hearing their amulet for the first time and obtaining it! kudos to the crane wives for making up almost half my list. :D

13. Killing Butterflies - Lewis Blissett: the vibe-setting song of the man from the enemy duo (bruh, calling them ‘the man’ and ‘the woman is so flippin weird urghhhhhhh. let’s call them EW and EM as in enemy woman and enemy man). he might seem a bit of a psycho, but he’s mentally stable, i swear.  ... well ... yeah, i don’t and won’t apologize for anything related to this man. i’ll make sure he deserves Phala by the end though, since Phala deserves only the best <3

14. Natural - ImagineDragons: Shreya’s theme baby! she’s a natural fighter, wanderer and -surprise- apostle! imagine dragons does her justice so well, my god.

15. Hell's Comin' with Me - PoorMansPoison: Main6 fighting song :D they might be a childish and bubbly squad in their leisure time, but when it’s time to get serious, i can assure you that they are professionals - at least, after they recieve their training ^^”.

16. HUSHH - AViVA: bit of a surprise with this one. Maple’s not a villainous character, being Piper’s sister and Shreya’s eventual lover and all, but don’t forget that she is a witch and has been on the run from humans her whole life. she has lost her sister to their hands and plenty of other witches from her colony. this turned her into a slightly cunning character, with (some) moments of dubious morality. feel like this song encapsulates her devious side pretty well.

18. High Horse - The Crane Wives: Filip’s song. he’s a high horse - a prince!, but he has a ‘heavy crown’ with all the burdens he must carry as a 2nd son to the throne and all the prejudices thrown his way for his seer nature. “we get what we deserve” just sounds like Filip a lot, also. poor man’s used to all those mistreatments, so bless Kaji’s soul for being the temperamental one in their relationship and not standing for others bullshit. (potty language, sorry!)

17. It Took Me By Surprise - Maria Mena: defines the toxic relationship between EW and EM, while it was a thing. it could also give a feel of their current team dynamic - they detest eachother but have eachother’s backs, hence they are a good combo on the battlefield.

19. Cosmic Love - florencemachine: not exactly sure what this might represent, but it gives me such a good feeling that i couldn’t not include it. it could be about a relationship. it could also be about Phala’s role as the mender of the subteam. kinda leaning towards it being Phala’s battle song, honestly, since she does kind of adore the galaxy, and it sounds celestial enough to fit a goddess.

20. Colors of the Wind - Judy Kuhn: Maple’s theme song. it mostly sums up her ordinary persona, as well as her witch nature and the aesthetics of it and the wilderness. the savage mention at the beginning refers to the humans’ preconceptions of witches.

(more to come)

[violettelueur]

— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE NINE || SMALL FLY AND REVERSE RETRIBUTION

↳ featuring : gojo satoru + ieiri shoko (mentions of fushiguro megumi + kugisaki nobara + zenin maki + nanami kento) from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : mention of corpse + mention of blood + EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 09 march

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 2.4k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : boredom

↳ next episode : idle transfiguration 

↳ barista’s notes : hi there everyone! right now i know i haven’t been the most active i have been but i really thankful on how patient you all are ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆ once again, thank you all for the birthday messages you have given me and the love that you all have for Y/N, i’m really glad that you love her character ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ i hope you enjoy today’s episode even though it isn’t that interesting at all to be honest...

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only.

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter.

2.5 for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique

no cursed spells used this episode..

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing.

“At this point, I’m not going to get any sleep if I keep doing this,” you mumbled quietly to yourself, as you leisurely walked down the stone steps that lead to the familiar track field you had been going to for the past few weeks for training due to the up and coming Kyoto Sister-School Goodwill Event.

Currently, there was nothing more than a few mild wind breezes as well as the brightness from the moon keeping you company as you decided to come out of your room for the night - how many times have you done this? You wouldn’t even know the answer yourself, you just let yourself go outside to get some fresh air.

Finally reaching to the bottom of the steps, you casually made your way to the tree you always sat under during training with your classmates and second-year upper-classmen before taking off your black longline coat to place it on the ground like a cover as you processed to sit before laying right on top of it leading your view to change from the field to the sky that was slightly shielding by the branch and leaves from the trees.

“What...am I even doing here?” you questioned yourself while raising your arm slightly above your face as you stared at your hand absently like the answer you were looking for was at the back of your hand.

From what you have learnt at being at Jujutsu Tech for some time, you learnt that everyone had a purpose of being at the institution that you were currently residing in now. 

Everyone you have met and knew here at this moment in time had a purpose or a goal of being a jujutsu sorcerer.

What about you?

Fushiguro thought the world was unfair and the reasoning behind his reasoning of becoming a sorcerer was to be a tool within a system that ensured kind people were given more chances in living. However, unlike you, you weren’t really fond of his reasoning at all. 

What happens if those ‘good’ people you saved become the criminal you refused to save? What happens if those ‘good’ people you deemed ‘good’ become the most immoral and sinful person you ever encountered? What happens if those ‘good’ people you save that smiled at your actions for them lead that smile to fade?

Like you mentioned, you weren’t fond of his reasoning at all. There were too many risks.

Kugisaki's reasoning was humorous as she wanted to move out of the countryside without any worries of financial issues but you knew somewhere in your heart that there was another reason she wasn’t telling you when you asked her during your usual weekend shopping trip with her. On the other hand, you admired her in some way, she was the personification of not needing to choose between strength and beauty.

However, that wasn’t the answer you weren’t looking for at all.

Zenin (Maki) wanted to escape the ties of the Zenin clan due to her situation of not being able to possess any kind of cursed energy compared to the averaged sorcerer, yet with the heavenly restriction that was traded with the lack of cursed energy, she processed superhuman physical prowess that was more powerful than most sorcerers you come to know. 

Her reasoning? To become the head of the Zenin clan to irritate the other members.

When she mentioned her ambition to you, you were quite sceptical in the beginning but that slowly diminished once you saw the cheeky grin on her face, you soon came to realise that she wasn’t like any of them from whom you could recall due to your mother’s knowledge of them when she was still alive. Zenin was extremely strong-headed and straightforward which led to her motivation causing your respect for her to slowly rise up as each day went by.

On the other hand, you had escaped the ties of the clans, you had that advantage ahead of her since the day you came into this world, yet that changed the second you came into school that night. That wasn’t the answer you were trying to discover.

Then there was Gojo Satoru. A man that is known to be the strongest in this generation as he processed both the Limitless technique as well as the Six Eyes after 400 years assumingly and was the lone standing member of the Gojo clan unless your adoption made a change to that to which you knew it wasn’t likely at all.

To be honest, Gojo never told you his reasoning on becoming a sorcerer and it must be said that he didn’t really have a choice, to begin with. He was immediately placed into this world as the fate of the jujutsu world was resting on his shoulders while your clan was the maintenance of that order and if anything happened to the man himself, you were the next sorcerer to restore the stability of the world.

‘Ugh, what a drag…’

Although, without his words, you could predict what he wanted. Gojo seemed like he wanted a revolution. A change and actively collecting sorcerers that had the same mindset as him was one way of beginning it. You couldn’t deny that Gojo was a smart man but one with a hint of narcissist meaning to it. 

Slowly, you come to realise that you were a tool within his plan.

Something you slowly wanted to take advantage of for the time being.

However, as much as his plan was one you were tensely going to follow, that still wasn’t the answer you desired at all.

“Because I’m not supposed to exist Fushiguro, you’re a Zenin by blood, you should know that my clan shouldn’t exist after the golden age, we disappeared,” 

“That’s right...I wasn’t supposed to exist…”

Slowly you finally placed your arm back down to your side before closing your eyes allowing the darkness to consume your sight but you didn’t allow it to consume the whole of you since you weren’t willing to fall asleep outside in the world where you felt most vulnerable.

It was quiet.

From what you could sense around you at this current moment in time, there was no one around you right now, no sound of footsteps that were out of place and no lingering sense of cursed energy around you.

You felt free.

Completely free.

Even if it was for a couple of seconds.

“You know, instead of being a drag, maybe inform that you are here,” you stated, as you opened your eyes slowly to discover a well-known face staring down at you as their body towered over yours. 

“You can sense me that quick?” Gojo asked, with a cheeky smile painted on his face as he tilted his glasses down to reveal his crystal indicolite eyes that somehow looked as if they were brighter than the moon that was above the both of you right now.

“You have an immense amount of cursed energy, it’s quite easy to sense you to be honest...too easy,” you mentioned, before turning on to your side as if to avoid eye contact with him due to the feeling of him studying you like you were s subject - it was creepy.

“If you are going to study me about my ability, just go to the library in the school to read about my clan, I’m sure that is enough,” you informed your teacher, causing him to giggle at your comment before inviting himself to sit next to you.

“Nah, I got the real thing of the lingering L/N clan here and I don’t like reading~” Gojo amusingly stated, before placing a hand on the top of your head before gently ruffling your hair. “Besides, you and I both know that something is going on right now,” Gojo seriously mentioned, causing you to become slightly tense as you began to recall the unexpected attack against him that he was hinting to you.

“Do you know any curse users that are willing to work with the two curses that you encountered?” you asked Gojo in the same serious tone he gave you only for silence to fill the atmosphere leading you to turn your head slightly to see what was wrong with your adoptive father, only to notice him staring off into the distance with a nonchalant look on his face only for it to change instant with the usual playful smile he always showcased to you.

“By the way, I told Shoko to expect you tomorrow to practice your reverse cursed energy technique,” the playful teacher stated before removing his hand from your head as he stood up on his feet. “It might be difficult for you to understand since she’s not the best at explaining, but I know you’ll get it! Get back inside and get back to sleep~” he said with a teasing tone, before making his way back into the Jujutsu Tech building, leaving you alone again with your own thoughts as you stared at the direction that he had headed off to.

“What a drag…”

                                               ꕥ

“Shoko-san?” you called out, once the metal door slid open only to discover her standing between two metal tables with what seemed to be curse corpses resting there with blood splattered messily on their resting surface.

“Oh Y/N! Satoru said you were going to come by,” Ieiri mentioned with a small smile, as she turned to look at you while tying her hair back leading you to notice the very visible purple under eye bags she had.

Ieiri Shoko was the doctor within the Jujutsu Tech institution and was one of the only people that was able to use reverse cursed technique like you but more at an advanced level leading you to mentally thank Gojo for allowing you to learn from her since you had been struggling to use it to the level that she was. Even your mother was struggling to help improve your technique since the only time you were able to use it to your full potential was when you were in critical danger.

“What’s going on?” you curiously asked as you observed the gruesome sight in front of you while trying to ignore the horrible smell that was coming from the corpses as you gently placed your hand over your nose to block the scent.

“There was been an incident in Kinema Cinema and I have been asked to check out these since one of the sorcerers that were assigned to the mission stated there was something odd about them,” Ieiri explained before handing you a black elastic band leading to a confused look to invade your face.

“And I want you to help since Saturo said you have a really good sense of seeing residue of cursed energy, as well as sense, cursed energy itself,” Ieiri informed you leading you to take the hairband from her grasp as well as the other surgical mask that was needed in case you both needed to dissect something.

“Are you sure I’m allowed to do this? I don’t have a license,” you questioned, as you placed the mask over your mouth causing Ieiri to look at you before saying to not worry since she was here - which caused you to look at her with a sceptical expression before going on to the task at hand as you stood next to her to peer over one of the deceased curses that were laying on the metal bench.

While observing the gruesome sight, you began to steadily see a trail of the lingering residue of cursed energy from the whole body, yet for some reason, there was a connection to the brain as you continued to stare that the sight much to your dismay.

“Human?” you stated in a perplexed tone while continuing to look at the head as the most amount of residue was there for the most part. “There’s a connection to the brain, so I assume the brain stems have been tampered with to alter the formation of the body, but the person wouldn’t know any of that due to probably their now impaired consciousness...it’s as if the human has been transfigured in a way like the other one behind us,” you informed Ieiri, who seemed to agree with you as she lightly nodded her head.

“Though the relationship between the brain and the cursed energy is still a black box right now, they died because of the modification and not because of the sorcerer,” the doctor added, causing you to give a side glance in her direction as you continued to listen to her explanation.

“Do you think it’s to do with the soul?” you asked, as you fully turned to look at her while she looked at you in confusion.

“Right now, we’re looking at it in a biological sense but if we are talking about a cursed spirit like Sukuna for example that is doing this, it has to do with the soul rather than the body itself,” you informed the doctor, causing her to look at you with widened eyes as she didn’t expect her old schoolmate’s daughter to have such a high capability to come to different ideas since it was Gojo that was your parent after all.

“Kento will have to ask the culprit about their cursed technique to see if your theory is correct,” Ieiri mentioned, leading you to look at her confused once again as you threw your surgical mask in the bin, only for her to swiftly inform you that a grade one sorcerer by the name of Nanami Kento was the one to inform her about the situation.

“I have to make a quick call to him to explain the discovery we made. Can you step outside and wait for me before I call you back so we can proceed to your lesson?” the doctor asked you with a smile leading you to nod at her before making your way towards the metal door that had come through before as you took one more peek at the Jujutsu Tech’s doctor’s direction with a perplexed and doubtful sense.

‘What’s the reason for me to be out of the room if I got involved with the investigation? What are you hiding from me?’

However, you didn’t want to make a whole fuss about your suspicion since you really didn’t have the effort to voice out your concern leading you to leave the room with more questions plaguing your mind as the ringing tone carried itself in the air.

“This is such a drag”

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[realcube]

haikyuu!! boys learning that you speak another language 💬

characters: sugawara, oikawa, bokuto, akaashi & kuroo

thanks to anon for this amazing request 💞

(y/n) = your name

(L) = language of your choice

tw// self deprecating joke, swearing 

Kōshi Sugawara

honestly, idk how he didn’t know that you spoke a second language before y’all started dating bc he seems like the sort of guy to ask those sort of questions while flirting/making conversating

but anyway, he probably learned that you spoke another language on the first date

he took you on a study date to the library and one of the subjects he was studying was French, and he was clearly struggling

‘ugh, this is quite tricky- we’ve got a test coming up and i can’t even remember how to say ‘bread’. hah, i’m definitely going to fail..’

you rolled your eyes, leaning across the table to deliver a gentle chop to his head, ‘negativity begone!’

sugawara chuckled before relaxing back in his chain, fidgeting with his pencil as he shifted his attention off his revision sheets and onto you, ‘did you take a language this year?’ he inquired, trying to make conversation to momentarily take his mind off the piles of revision he had to do

you squinted, biting your own tongue as you attempted to equally divide your attention between your date and the complex maths question you were working on, ‘no, i couldn’t be bothered. plus, i can speak (L) so it’s not as if i’m a monolinguist.’ 

suga blinked rapidly at this new information; so wondering if he had heard you correctly, he questioned further, ‘you speak (L)? really? i don’t think you’ve ever mentioned anything about that before.’

you shrugged, letting out a slight sigh before placing your pencil down; realising that if Suga was going to continue talking, it might be rude for you to keep working. ‘oh, have i not? well- now you know!’ you hummed, shooting your boyfriend a sweet smile.

‘how can one person be so smart and stunning?’ he mused, resting his cheek on his palm as his elbow was propped up onto the table

‘i should be asking you that, kōshi.’

he couldn’t help but roll his eyes at how humble you were; ah, if only you knew how much he admired you. 

suga could only imagine being bilingual yet you could effortlessly speak a second language fluently, he was sure that if you were to take up volleyball, the team would waste no time in replacing him with you 

anyway, he was so impressed that you can speak (L) and he shows it lol

like if you talk down on yourself, he’ll call you out SO quick regardless but he will also mention your second language somehow lmao

for example:

you groaned upon skimming the message your professor sent you along with your test result, ‘ugh, i got 68% - so fucking close to an A! i’m so stupid..’

you thought sugawara was preoccupied with cooking dinner until he came rushing into your room, making you jolt when he slammed the door open, ‘who’s stupid?! are hinata & kageyama in here somewhere? because i know that you weren’t talking about yourself!’

you buried your face into your hands to not only let out a elongated groan, but also so he didn’t see the small smile tugging at the corner of your lips

‘and i know that you didn’t call my gorgeous, intelligent, selfless, bilingual sweetheart stupid! take that back, (y/n). ’

and he would not leave you alone until you took it back IUFHEIEVAB

also, another example.

you walked by a bright pink trash can with Suga by your side and in the interest of ✨ comedy ✨, you chuckled and blurted out, ‘hey, that’s me.’

‘if that trash can is bilingual, then yes.’

Tōru Oikawa

you probably first told him you spoke (L) a while into your relationship  — but not too long — so maybe like 6 months

and you only told him bc y’all were having an argument over the schoolwork and you were sure that your method was correct while oikawa thought otherwise

but after a while, it kinda just turned into a battle of ‘who is smarter?’ rather than trying to figure out who’s method was correct 

so you just blurted out from spite, ‘tough talk coming a one-language-speaking peasant.’ 

oikawa rolled his eyes, ‘how many languages do you speak then, smart-ass?’

‘english, japanese and (L)’

he blinked rapidly, unable to come up with a snarky remark, he cocked his head to the side and inquired, ‘you speak (L)?’

you nodded, your lips curling into a smile, ‘yep!’

grrr curse your adorable smile >:(

oikawa was simply unable to be mad anymore ✋ must give kithes to his  trilingual s/o instead (づ￣ 3￣)づ

he smirked back at you before pulling you in by your waist and peppering an infinite amount of kisses across your face, ‘awh, i didn’t know you speak 3 languages. you’re so clever, angel.’  he said in between kisses, using his strong grip to sway y’all side-to-side as he expressed his love

 and oikawa is kinda an exhibitionist sometimes so he will definitely mention that when he hypes you up/shows you off at events

and mf will never stop-

even after the time-skip 🤠

he’ll bring you to a party celebrating a cup victory for his team and while everyone there is trying to praise him for his perfect sets, he’s quite tipsy and just goes, ‘thank you. thank you. but have you seen (y/n) tonight? they look so gorgeous- especially their eyes, i hope our kids have their eyes.’ he rambled, his speech a bit slurred so everyone had to do a double-take to make sure they were hearing him correctly

was he seriously raving on about his s/o when he literally just won a world cup?

‘oh and did i mention they’re four-lingual? literally. they speak English, Japanese, (L) and Portuguese so they could live here with me.’

it was embarrassing in the moment but at least there was no press at the party

plus, you both always look back on these moments and laugh tbh

also, just bc he was drunk didn’t mean that his words were empty - he meant everything he said, the alcohol only helped him voice everything confidently 

Kōtarō Bokuto

ok so he learned that you spoke (L) 6 months into your marriage

his big personality makes up for his ignorance-

you were on call with a mutual friend who could also speak (L), hence you were both talking in (L) lol

meanwhile bokuto was just sitting on the other side of the couch and it took him half an hour to realise that you were speaking another language 

however, you were hardly alert either considering it took you god-knows how long to notice that bokuto was staring at you with wide, starry eyes

and you literally just froze- then proceeded to excuse yourself for a moment before muting your microphone

‘bo, are you alright? why are you looking at me like that?’ you asked, concern clear in your tone as you dropped your phone to rush over to him, hastily pressing the back of your had against his forehead

bokuto shook his head abruptly, snapping out of his glazed gaze to pull you onto his lap, ‘were you speaking a foreign language just there?!’

‘yeah, (L). I’m fluent.’ you replied, rather shocked as he went from a statue to his regular, energetic self in the blink of an eye

he cocked his head to the side with wide eyes  — and it was moments like these were you could really see the resemblance between him and an owl  — before wrapping you in a hug, resting his cheek on your shoulder. 

‘i didn’t know that you could speak (L), babe! that’s so fuckin’ cool! do you think you could teach me?’ 

you giggled, both from his lively response and how the vibrations from his speech tickled your neck

‘sure, but i have to finish my call first.’  you hummed before springing to your feet, grabbing you phone and strolling out of the living room to continue the call in the privacy of your bedroom

and don’t think bokuto forgot about you agreeing to teach him bc he was planking outside of the bedroom, waiting for you to finish your call so he could jump out at you once you tried to exit,

‘HOW DO YOU SAY ‘I’D LIKE FRIES WITH THAT’ IN (L)?!’  

‘FUCK!’ you screamed, your phone falling out of your hand as bokuto just jump-scared you in your own home

you try to teach him ofc but it’s quite difficult for him to learn (L) while he’s simultaneously trying to learn English and Spanish 

he didn’t exactly give up on trying to learn it but the frequency of his lil’ questions of ‘how do you say this is (L)?’ and ‘how do you say that in (L)?’ became less and less 

however, whenever you speak (L) in front of him, he always looks at you with wide, dreamy eyes - completely in awe at how clever you are and he’ll take every opportunity he can to praise you for it

oh and he has you saved in his phone as ‘gorgeous, bilingual wifey 😩💞💕💖’

Keiji Akaashi

he probably learns that you can speak another language on the second or third date

y’all were talking about hobbies you wanted to take up, then akaashi pulled out his note titled ‘ ↳ languages i should learn’ and the first one he uttered was (L) so you immediately chimed in

‘oh! i can speak (L)! i could teach you  — if you want.’

akaashi couldn’t help but smile softly; even though he had a bunch of assignments due, along with all the approaching tests he had to study for, he just couldn’t say no to your offer  — you just looked so excited

plus, there was no harm in trying to learn a language alongside his schoolwork

he humbly accepted; further inquiring about your links and relations with the (L) language

anyway, you never really sat akaashi down to teach him (L) or make him take notes or anything, you’d just began with integrating the occasional (L) in an english/japanese sentence

you’d tend to change the noun and given the context, akaashi would be able to figure out what it meant

for example, if y’all were vibin’ on the couch with the TV on in the background, you might ask him to pass the remote but replace the word ‘remote’ with the (L) translation

there was nothing else he could’ve passed to you so he understood that you meant remote

so slowly but surely  — without even realising that he’s learning  — he picks up on quite a lot of the vocabulary 

and by the time y’all are married, he’s basically fluent

oh and on your honeymoon (which is in Italy btw, I just know he’d take you somewhere with a rich history) you are chillin in the pool then out of the corner of your eyes you see akaashi approach you from the edge of the pool, before getting down on one knee 

and you were so confused for a second bc you thought he was proposing again even you recall getting married to him just a few days ago ◉_◉’

however, once he pulled out a box that seemed too large to contain a ring, it piqued your curiosity even more, ‘akaashi?’ you stuttered, eyes wide.

he opened it to reveal a simple silver bangle, pulled it out then offered his hand so he could cuff it around your wrist 

now that the cold metal of the bangle came in contact with your skin, you were finally able to read the text engraved into the silver 

and it was ‘i love you’ in (L) 

Tetsurō Kuroo

you probably told him that you could speak (L) quite early on in the relationship tbh 

he was really proud of you but he only took much of an interest a bit later on

he was just like ‘(y/n), do you know any languages other than japanese and english?’ over some chocolate-covered strawberries

you nodded, ‘yeah, (L). why?’

kuroo gasped, excitedly slamming the kitchen counter with the palm of his hand, ‘i need you to teach me some curses.’

you giggled, taking another bite of your strawberry, ‘heh, why?’

‘because kōtarō keeps muttering things about me in portuguese and oikawa keeps snickering at it - i think they’re bitching about me so two can play at that game.’ kuroo whined before looking at you then shooting you a charming smile, ‘so can you help me?’

he’s adorable so you smiled right back at him and chirped, ‘absolutely not.’

however, you kept his request in mind when you graciously began replacing all your english curses with those in (L)

and obviously he caught on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

thank you for enabling him, (y/n) 😌

[flutteringdreams-matw]

Out of Time (9)

First/Last

Read on AO3

Word Count: 4248

Previously: After realizing there's three possible outcomes of a looming battle with Dan, Danny asks Valerie, Dani and Vlad for their help.

Now: The calm before the storm. Aka things are about to hit the fan.

Link to the next chapter will be in the replies once posted. As always - please let me know what you think!

---

"Danny- you in here?" Jazz asked, opening her brother's door tentatively. To her surprise, she saw both Danny and Phantom in the room, both looking sombre and upset. She frowned slightly, looking between the two like a hawk. "Are you okay?"

Danny's eyes briefly flashed green as Phantom disappeared, smiling at his sister. "Yeah," he replied softly. His blue eyes watched her as she crossed her arms determinedly.

"Good, cause we're ready for you." Jazz observed Danny closely as he stood up straighter, a quiet reservation embodying him. She frowned as she examined him again. "You sure you're okay? We can postpone-"

"No," Danny said tiredly. "We really can't." He walked over to his sister, ignoring her suspecting gaze as he gave her a hug. Jazz bristled in surprise, but quickly returned it. "Love you," he murmured into her shoulder.

"I love you too," she replied, pulling away from the hug. She poked his nose affectionately, making the younger teen scramble away with a scowl. "Now come on, you're needed Ghost Boy."

With a devious smirk, Danny transformed and grabbed his sister by her arms. He turned them both intangible and flew up to the Ops Center. He dropped Jazz unceremoniously to the ground as he turned tangible again.

"Ugh! Danny!" Jazz protested, shivering slightly. "Give me warning next time!"

Danny chuckled, floating in the air as he watched Jazz try and recover. "You're the one who said they were ready. Where's that Ghost Getter attitude?" he teased.

Jazz glared half-heartedly at her brother before sighing. "C'mon," she said, gesturing to the crowded Ops Center.

Both Fenton children made their way into the room, weaving through many of Frostbite's subjects as they attempted to reach their parents. Maddie, Jack, Sam and Tucker were crowded around one of the screens. Jack saw them first.

"Kids! There you are!" he boomed, causing Sam and Tucker to jump in surprise. "Vladdy's on the T.V."

Danny exchanged frowns with his sister as they moved the screen. Vlad was sitting at his desk in the Mayor's office, looking stoic and political as the T.V. station ran a banner underneath him labelling it as a mayoral address.

"Citizens of Amity Park," Vlad began. Danny rolled his eyes at the condescending tone his arch-enemy used. "As you've been aware, local hero Danny Phantom has held a large dome of energy around our beloved town for the past four days. After a brief meeting with Phantom this afternoon, we now have true confirmation of what is afoot."

Maddie turned to her son, frowning in disapproval. "You went to Vlad?"

Danny shrugged. "He needed to know what was going on. The last thing we want is him making a story up and it causes people to get hurt." He turned back to the press conference.

"There is a dangerous ghost making its way through the Ghost Zone," Vlad continued. "Dangerous enough to cause many ghosts to take refuge here in our world. Phantom has put up this shield in order to protect our town from harm." Vlad folded his hands together, looking very grim. "However, this ghost has challenged our resident ghost and has thus threatened the safety of this town. Tomorrow, these two will clash somewhere in our world, with Phantom unsure of how much protection he can give us.

"The Fentons and I have created a contingency plan in case Phantom's shield is compromised, however it is very likely that this will rival our run in with the Ghost King last year. Unfortunately, it is too late to evacuate the town. Rest assured that your safety is our number one priority. We are asking you to stay indoors until we determine that it is safe to return to our normal lives. I must implore you all to be careful – the only warning we'll have is if this shield goes down.

"As for Danny Phantom – if you're watching this: Good Luck."

Vlad faded from the screen as Lance Thunder started his analysis on what he just heard. Danny let out a breath as he turned to his parents. "We ready to figure out a plan?"

Jack gave his son a reassuring smile. "You bet kiddo," he told him, leading the way to a large round table. Ethelwulf, Frostbite and Clockwork all sat waiting for them, with many more white yeti ghosts standing behind them. Frostbite grinned readily as he saw Danny approach, while Ethelwulf looked him over searchingly.

Danny ignored them, instead floated above the table and waited for his friends and family to take a seat. Green eyes found the large fold out map of Amity Park with various pieces placed strategically across it. A small frown appeared across his face as he saw the large amount of pieces outside of the shield.

"We still have about 10 hours before Dan attacks," Maddie said, snapping Danny out of his musings. He floated back, giving her his full attention. Maddie pointed to the large group that was furthest away. "Our intel shows that Dan is East of the town gathering his army." She gestured to the rest of the town. "Danny's shield will hold for a bit, but our main priority should be getting the Fenton shield up and running. Once that's up, it should cover the entire town – the only problem is we still can't isolate Dan's ecto-signature from Danny's."

"The good news is between Frostbite and his people, we're able to scan all the ghosts hiding in Amity Park," Jack told the crowd. "This way, the shield will still be able to protect the ghosts and the town from Dan's wrath."

Danny nodded, agreeing with the line of thought so far. "And you'll keep working on the shield?" His parents nodded. His frown deepened as he surveyed the plans now on the table. "We need to keep him out of the city at all costs." Danny moved closer to the table, pointing to a large structure on the map. "Until we get the Fenton shield up, we'll have to be divided." Maddie glanced at her son nervously, but stepped back as he started to take more command at the table. "We'll split up in two teams. Ethelwulf, Frostbite; you both stay here. With Ethelwulf's shield around the Fenton Portal, it's the safest point in all this. If anything goes down, you're the best people to defend it." He traced the outer layer of the map with index finger. "The Red Hunter, Danielle and Plasmius will be at the shield holding back the shadow army. If these things are anything like Vlad's copies, then there's going to be a lot of them."

Maddie and Jack exchanged surprised looks before addressing their son. "Are you sure you can trust Plasmius?" Jack asked him. "Or the Red Hunter for that matter? She did trap you and Danielle a few weeks back."

Danny didn't look up from the map, concentrating hard on his next point when he answered. "We've had truces before," he explained. "It's fine. Besides we'll need all the help we can get."

Frostbite cleared his throat. "My fellow Far Frozen brothers will also protect the town," the yeti ghost told the group in front of them, garnering murmurs of agreement throughout the crowd. "If any of the shadows make it in, we'll be ready Great One."

"Thanks Frostbite," Danny said gratefully, flashing his friend a smile. It quickly disappeared as he continued. "Unfortunately, I think that'll happen sooner rather than later." He turned his gaze to his parents. "No matter what Vlad's said during that press conference, we're going to need people to clear the streets and provide cover if needed."

Maddie stroked her chin in thought. "I think we still have time to reach out to the Ghost Emergency Response team," she said. Seeing the look of confusion on her son's face she elaborated. "We reached out to a few people after the Ghost King attack to help with evacuation efforts in the event we couldn't get to them in time. They'll be able to use some public spaces to get people to safety in a pinch. Plus, this was set up before Vlad was mayor; we don't have to go through him for his approval."

Danny eyed his Mom suspiciously at her tart tone but nodded his consent. "Okay, let's do that," he said. His eyes darted across the map in front of him, before he paused and sighed heavily. "I don't think there's any way I can keep the shield up and fight Dan."

"Especially if you're going to be an idiot and go off alone," Tucker said. Danny scowled at him. "What? We can see your self-sacrificing shtick from a mile away dude."

"Not exactly what I meant," Danny shot back, green eyes running over the map avoiding everyone's gaze. "I'm using my base powers to keep the shield up. If something's attacking it - the best place to keep it up around the town is to be right on it."

"Making you a sitting duck," Ethelwulf finished, yellow eyes scanning the map with quick precision. "Which is what Dan is counting on; he tested your abilities in your last battle. He'll wait until you're distracted before striking."

"Which is where Jazz and I come in," Sam jumped in, moving closer to the table and pointed to various sections of the town. "We can provide cover some extra cover on you from the highest points of the city." She pointed out four large buildings. "If we station ourselves up there, we can hit the ones that close in on Danny's position."

Danny stiffened slightly at the suggestion, eying the pieces outside of the shield again and the other two buildings that Sam had suggested. He let out a breath before looking up at his family and friends. "We'll need more than just you two. Mom, Dad, Jazz and Sam will be on these four buildings," Danny grabbed four mini pieces that indicated their side of the battle and placed them on the map. "Tucker, you'll be at FentonWorks working on the shield and be our eyes while we're out there. Apart from my parents, you're the only one who can work on those calculations." He moved another piece. "I'll be at the top of the shield, keeping it up until the Fenton shield is ready. Then we can regroup here and think about our next phase of attack."

"And if your shield goes down before the Fenton one is ready?" Sam asked sceptically.

Danny floated above the table, looking grim. "Then we fight," he said simply. He floated above the crowd, his face reserved as he surveyed the crowded ops center. "This won't be easy," he told the crowd. "In a different time, he destroyed the entire world. I want to say we'll make it… but there's no guarantee that we'd be back. If we fail – our worlds as we know them are doomed." The half-ghost crossed his arms. "Dan isn't invincible. If we work together, we can bring him down. Who's with me?"

A loud roar of approval echoed through the ops center from the members of the Far Frozen. Danny scanned the crowd and found Clockwork, regarding him curiously with his red eyes. Time seemed to slow as their eyes met, Clockwork searching for an answer from the young ghost. Clockwork gave Danny a brief nod of approval before Danny floated back to the ground toward his friends and family.

Danny waited until the ghosts left the Ops Center before taking a vacant seat and transforming back into Danny Fenton. Tired eyes scanned the table again, looking at the small pieces and the map with reservation. "If this doesn't work…"

"It will," Maddie told him sternly, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It'll be fine." Danny couldn't tell if she was trying to reassure herself as well.

"If there's anything this year has shown us, it's how to kick ghost butt as a family," Jack added confidently.

"Dad's right," Jazz told him, coming around Danny's other side, giving him a big hug. "Dan may have the power, but we have the numbers and heart. Remember that, okay?" Both Fenton parents joined the hug at their daughter's words.

Danny smiled softly. "I'll remember," he said. His family released the boy from the hug, smiling. He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. "This will work."

Maddie kissed the top of his head affectionately. "Get some rest sweetheart. We'll see you off in the morning." With that, the three Fentons exited the Ops Center, leaving Danny, Sam and Tucker alone.

Tucker walked over to the table, nudging Sam along the way and sat next to his best friend. "That was kinda weird…right? I mean… in a good way?"

Danny chuckled. "A bit, yeah." Sam finally moved to Danny's other side at the table, watching him intently. "This is the first time my parents are involved in such a big ghost attack and know all the stakes going in. It's made it easier….. but also so much harder."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

Danny shook his head, smiling softly. "It doesn't matter. I'm just glad we're on the same side for once." He pulled out a small pouch from his pocket, putting it onto the table. His logo reflected the light from the Ops Center above him. "Can one of you ask Ethelwulf about these? Vlad gave them to me."

"I'm pretty sure that's a red flag and should be thrown out," Sam said, narrowing her eyes at the pouch.

Danny shrugged. "He said they're Ecto-Enhancers – something to help give my powers an energy boost. While I don't trust Vlad with a ten foot pole, I think he's actually trying to help. I'd ask my parents, but Mom's been acting strange about me interacting with Vlad. I don't think she knows anything, but she definitely suspects."

"Hence Ethelwulf," Tucker finished, watching Danny confirm with a nod. Tucker stared at the pouch as a few ideas raced across his brain. "Apart from Ethelwulf, Plasmius is the only other person who knows about half-ghosts on a molecular level. Maybe these will help us separate the two of you."

"If there's one time for his creepy clone experiments to come in handy, it's now" Danny replied with a grimace.

"Gross," Tucker said. He reached over, grabbing the pouch of Ecto-Enhancers and waved them in the air. "I'll get started on this – hopefully we can get that shield up before morning." Tucker stood, giving Sam an exaggerated look before moving quickly to the stairs. "Sam, make sure this one doesn't do something stupid without me. I am the brains of this operation"

Danny chuckled at the joke. "Don't let it get to your head, techie."

Sam shook her head at their antics. "No promises," she said slyly as Danny made a noise in protest. Sam caught Tucker's equally sly smile as he made his way downstairs, realizing suddenly that he left her alone with Danny on purpose; she nearly groaned in annoyance.

"Jerk," Danny muttered in amusement. He rose slowly, gripping the table to hold himself up. His arms shook as he looked over the plans again, blue eyes darting back to the large amount of pieces on the ground.

Sam frowned worriedly. "You're exhausted," she stated.

Danny nodded. "We really need that shield," he told her wearily. "If these numbers are right then I'm going to be putting all my energy into defending the town."

"What you really need is sleep." Sam replied sharply. Danny ignored her and continued to glance at the figures on the table. "When was the last time you actually rested without those time visions?"

Danny shrugged, turning his face away. "Few days maybe," he replied. He traced the outer layer of the map toward the top of the shield, frowning in thought.

Sam sighed, standing up and put her hand on his shoulder. Danny's body relaxed slightly at her touch but remained focus on the map in front of him. "You need to rest," she said softly. "You've been heading straight for Dan ever since he escaped. Not to mention, you've been flying around and using your powers quite a bit today. Isn't it time to take it easy?" Danny only hummed at the suggestion. Sam sighed again, bracing herself against the table as she looked out in the other direction. A few moments passed, neither one speaking as they stood in the Ops Center. Finally, Sam let out a long breath, steeling her resolve. "About earlier…"

"You were right," Danny told her, cutting Sam off before she had a chance to continue. He glanced at her quickly before his eyes returned to the map. "Before. This isn't just some ghost fight."

Sam frowned, confused at his reserved demeanour. "You told me you weren't afraid anymore," she accused softly.

"I'm not."

Sam turned to him abruptly, violet eyes flashing dangerously. "So why are you holding back now? What changed in a few hours?"

Danny sighed tiredly, his black hair covering his face from her view. When he finally spoke, it was so quiet it made the hairs on the back of Sam's neck stand up. "If we make it through this, then we'll talk."

Sam blinked before nudging him hard with her shoulder. "When we make it through this, I'll be waiting. You hear me? When." They stood quietly, Sam's last remark hanging in the air as Danny made no attempt to answer. She nudged him again. "Danny, when you make it back. Not if."

Danny raised his head slowly, smiling as he looked at her. Sam's eyes widened slightly at the changing emotions across his face. "Yeah," he agreed softly. "You're right." He turned away as Sam looked at him, concerned. "I think I'm gonna head downstairs."

Sam frowned; something didn't feel right. "You're not going to sneak off on our own are you?" she asked searchingly.

Danny shook his head and brushed her off. "Nah – you'll miss me too much," he replied lightly. She wasn't convinced.

With a small wave, he took off down the stairs. Sam watched him go, still frowning as she tried to figure out his sudden change of mood.

:-=-:

"A little early for an adventure, isn't it Halfling?"

Danny didn't turn from his position on the Ops Center, opting to look at the stars through the green shield around the town with a small smile. There were still a few hours before dawn and apart from the ghosts throughout the house, everyone was asleep. "Not an adventure if I'm still here."

Ethelwulf chuckled as he walked up beside the seated young ghost. "True, but you are your ghost self on a rooftop, alone, right before we do battle with that monster. Forgive me for thinking you were sneaking off without telling us."

Danny shook his head. "I couldn't sleep," he admitted. "Stargazing helps me clear my head." They looked at the stars in silence, Ethelwulf waiting for Danny to continue. Eventually, Danny sighed, standing up to face the black wolf ghost beside him. "I keep seeing various parts of how today will play out," he said dismally. "Regardless of how much planning we do, it doesn't seem like we're going to win."

Ethelwulf opened his mouth, but a voice beat him to it.

"What have I told you before, Great One?" Frostbite floated toward them, an eyebrow raised questionably at the younger. "About fears and battles?"

"I'm not afraid of Dan," Danny told them confidently. "I'm not facing him on my own so we have more of a chance than I would normally. But…" Danny looked up at the stars again, frowning. "In order to win, we need to know his plan. With these time visions, I think I have some idea of… how he thinks."

Frostbite and Ethelwulf exchanged confused looks. "Isn't that a good thing?" Ethelwulf asked him.

"If I'm right… then it's not a good thing," Danny replied seriously. He rubbed the back of his head. "It means that our plan doesn't account for him exploiting our weaknesses – which he'll definitely do. Dan has nothing to lose, meaning he's more dangerous than ever. He doesn't care."

Ethelwulf let out a soft "Oh," as he realized what the boy was trying to say. He lowered his head close to Danny's face, big yellow eyes looking into worried green. "Danny," he said gently. "Going into battle thinking you'll lose means you've already lost. The things that you need to fight for? That makes you more dangerous too."

Danny smiled sadly. "I want to believe that. More than anything."

Ethelwulf nodded. "Then do." Ethelwulf looked him over, frowning. "Though you're not completely healed from yesterday; are you sure you'll be alright on top of that shield?"

Danny nodded. "I'm good. The faster we get that shield up, the faster I can recover and kick his sorry butt out of existence. How's that going anyway?"

Ethelwulf sighed. "Tucker gave me the Ecto-Enhancers; Plasmius seems to know quite a bit about your ecto-signature Halfling. We were able to identify more of a distinction between the ecto-signature we have of you and his. It seems like the key here is your mid-morph sample – but until you're able to recover, I believe it's unwise for us to take that sample. Though, now that we know what we're looking for, we might be able to manipulate the shield enough for us to put it up. These Ecto-Enhancers should be safe if you wish to use them."

Danny nodded in confirmation. "Good to know – probably best to leave them here for now. Last thing I want is for Dan to get a hold of them." Danny looked away, making Frostbite and Ethelwulf tense slightly. "If anyone can figure out that mid-morph sample, it'll be Tucker. He's been working with my parents for so long and knows my powers pretty well. Will you-"

"Don't worry," Frostbite assured. "We'll make sure your family is safe. No one will get through."

Danny smiled gratefully, looking up at the stars again. "Thank you," he said simply. They were quiet for a few minutes, before Danny closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "Clockwork," he called as he opened his eyes and faced his two friends.

Clockwork's spinning clock appeared promptly behind Frostbite, the latter shuffling aside for the Time Master to materialize. Once appeared, Clockwork brought his staff toward the ground, a grim smile directed at Danny.

"I think I finally understand," Danny said quietly. "When you told me that acting on the knowledge of time was a burden."

Clockwork inclined his head in acknowledgement. "I believe so," he said simply. "I'd ask you what now, but judging from that response, I can only guess."

Danny sighed again. "I need you all to promise me something," the half-ghost started, getting the attention of all three spectres on the roof. "If I….. If I stop responding on coms…..or if I go down…please don't come looking for me until my shield falls. Keep my family and friends away from it too."

The boy's request hung in the silence that followed.

"I've seen some….. things," Danny continued, green eyes pleading for them to agree. "I don't know if they're true – but I might have to make decisions out there that go against the plan to protect Amity- To protect my friends and family. I need to know that they're safe behind this shield. It's the only way I'll….Please – keep them from coming after me."

Clockwork looked at Ethelwulf and Frostbite's shocked faces as he floated past them, red eyes glued to the determined, pleading face of a fifteen year old half-ghost that started this. "I said once," Clockwork started, "That I'm inclined to trust your judgement. Through all those twists and turns of time, my view on that has never wavered Danny Phantom." Clockwork put a hand on Danny's shoulder. "Time has asked so much of someone so young – this is the least I can do."

"Are you sure this is wise, Time Master?" Frostbite asked worriedly. "The Great One is still not healed. If he goes in alone –"

"Frostbite is right," Ethelwulf said, cutting the Far Frozen leader off. "Danny, this is ill-advised. You just said you're not fighting him alone – why do you want to prevent us from helping you in your time of need?"

"We have a plan right?" Danny asked, an eyebrow raised. "No matter what happens to me, we need to make sure it gets followed. We're more likely to succeed that way. If my shield is still up, I'm okay - I'm still alive. The last thing I want is for Dan to use anyone I love as bait."

The two wolf-like ghosts looked at each other and sighed, defeated.

"I will protect them with my life Great One," Frostbite told him earnestly.

Danny turned to Ethelwulf, who sighed deeply. Yellow eyes met green once more. "You are truly remarkable, Halfling," he said proudly. Danny's eyes widened in surprise. "I will honour your wishes – however if your shield falls, I will come after you myself. I will not let you die."

Danny smiled, looking at each of the ghosts directly before nodding. "Alright, then let's-" Danny's knees buckled slightly, cutting his train of thought off as he grimaced in pain. Frostbite and Clockwork moved toward the boy. Ethelwulf winced, swearing under his breath.

"Something attacked my shield," Ethelwulf said.

"Mine too," Danny ground out as he recovered. He looked up in thought, frowning as his eyes scanned the shield. He closed his eyes, trying to find where the attack on the shield came from before sighing. He turned to Frostbite and Ethelwulf. "If I'm not back in half an hour, wake everyone else up."

"This has to be a trap," Ethelwulf said. "Danny, you shouldn't go up there alone."

"He did say he wanted to divide my attention," Danny replied bitterly. "Probably, but I don't want to chance the shield. Ethelwulf, check on the one around the portal. I'll have my Fenton Phone with me – Frostbite, head to the control station and we'll stay in contact. I'll be gone thirty minutes tops. If I'm not back, tell my family…" he paused, looking conflicted for the first time on the rooftop. "Tell them… to defend Amity. To get the Fenton Shield up and running. To…to be careful. I'll be back as soon as I can." Without warning, Danny leapt into the air and teleported somewhere outside of the shield.

Clockwork sighed, breaking Frostbite and Ethelwulf out of their surprised stupors. "Frostbite," he called. "You heard him, get to the control panel. Ethelwulf, check on that shield. The faster we do that, the faster one of you can go after him."

Frostbite and Ethelwulf exchanged confused glances. "I thought you said you trusted his judgement?" Ethelwulf asked suspiciously.

Clockwork looked at the shield above. "I do," he replied simply, a small frown on his face. "That does not mean I have to like it."

:-=-:

Danny held his hand to the shield, concentrating on finding the point that was attacked earlier. It's too quiet Danny thought, eyes darting from side to side looking for a threat. "Frostbite?"

"I'm here, Great One," Frostbite's voice came through the Fenton Phone urgently.

"Anything?"

"No. All clear on the radars."

Danny frowned, more unease rising from within him. "Yeah, here too," he said, standing, on top of the shield. It was holding strong; if anything attacked while he was up here, it would hold. He looked down and saw the mass of black surrounding the town, faint dim auras outlining each of the shadows that Dan created. Danny swallowed nervously as he lost count. "I'm headed back now," he said evenly, attempting to mask his concern.

"I'll await your arrival."

As the line went dead, Danny gasped as his ghost sense came alive, the icy cold sending a small shiver down his spine. He tensed, left hand alighting in green as he readied for an attack, the right going back toward his Fenton Phone. He barely had time to react as a large amount of ecto-energy surrounded his senses. He cried out in pain as it subsided, falling onto the shield in a heap. He barely managed to see a pair of white boots before the world faded to black.

:-=-:

"Sam, wake up," Jazz said urgently, shaking the girl awake. Sam rolled over, squinting slightly at the person who dared disturbed her slumber. "Sam, come on." Jazz shook her again.

Sam blinked before she recognized the urgency in her voice. "Is it time?" she asked, sitting up quickly and rubbed her eyes.

"Sam, Danny's missing."

Whatever tiredness she was felt left Sam instantly. "What?!"

Jazz sat back with a worried frown on the bed, her red hair glowing slightly from the light in the hallway. "Frostbite said he went to check the shield and was supposed to be back an hour ago." Her teal eyes met Sam's violet ones. "Danny told them he was coming back – then the line went dead. Ethelwulf went looking for him, but they couldn't find him."

"Was there anything on the radar?" Sam asked, grabbing both her time medallion and the violet jumpsuit as she hastily put them on.

Jazz shook her head. "No – but Frostbite said Danny just disappeared. No teleportation or anything, just… gone. Like he was never up there; we're meeting downstairs to create a game plan."

Sam nodded, putting on her last glove. "Okay, I'll meet you down in a few minutes."

Jazz gave her a nod in confirmation. "Good, I'll go check on Dad then. He probably got an hour or so of sleep before Frostbite woke Mom." Jazz headed out of her room, a worried frown still across her face as she raced down the hall.

Sam let out a shaky breath as Jazz left. Her eyes drifted to the small clock on the bedside table - 4 am. Two hours before dawn. Two hours before the fight of their lives. Two hours to find Danny.

[ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff]

Seahorse (Spencer Reid x Trans Male!Reader) SFW

Summary: Spencer and Y/N have always wanted kids. Here’s the time Spencer was brave enough to broach the subject of how they would go about it. Plus a few more times after that.

AN: @imagining-in-the-margins​ came up with the idea of Spencer’s trans bf having a baby amidst man many many prompts for Spencer x male!reader to indulge my daydreaming and I ran with this prompt.

Thank you to @writing-in-april​ for being my beta on this one! Couldn’t have done it without you, beebs <3

This is the SFW version. Here’s a link to an NSFW version of the story, but do not read that if you are under 18!

Word Count: 5.7k words

Content Warnings: Trans man is pregnant, coming off medication, allusions to Prison!Spencer.

Masterlist // Gif Credit // NSFW Version

The halls echoed with the unbridled joy of little ones calling out “Nemo” and “Dory” at the sight of the clown and surgeon fishes. Spencer bounced on the balls of his feet as he looked around the next room in search of his goal. He stopped when Y/N spared a look in his direction, away from the tank that had captured his attention for a solid five minutes.

“JJ sent me a video of a shrimp solving a Rubik’s Cube the other day.” He grinned.

Ah yes. JJ had also sent Spencer a video of little Henry swinging a mini softball bat about just like Spencer had done. For one game and one game only he had insisted, despite Y/N’s own resolve that he looked hot in the kit.

The walk through the tunnel was the slowest slog Spencer felt, but it was the only attraction in the aquarium to properly distract him. Lights above them filtered through the water, bouncing off the painted walls of the tank in a blue glow. Various species in a perfectly balanced ecosystem swam around one another without a care in the world. A particular stingray flapped its body against the glass, and three children nearby laughed at its funny shaped mouth.

“I used to sit on my mum’s shoulders when we walked through these. Touch the ceiling as if I could pet the fishes.” And Y/N’s hands stretched up over him, his eyes following a shark that slinked overhead, “When I got too old, I’d just press my nose against the glass and stare back.”

Nerves returned at the sight of a circular tank in the centre of the room holding something familiar. Seahorses curled their tails around the plants that waved together like a crowd at a concert. Little babies bobbed about the parents, translucent and wriggly.

Spencer coughed and spoke while Y/N took in the creatures, “Did you know that the seahorse is the only animal where the male carries the children?”

Suddenly his throat was dry; the words he’d been rehearsing dragged to a halt. Y/N turned to face him properly, guiding Spencer to the left as a little girl stood on tiptoe to see the seahorses as he continued to struggle.

“Well, that might not be true actually.” Spencer choked a little on his words, his voice’s volume steadily declining into a soft whisper, “I know that some human men can have babies.”

Y/N’s face clouded with doubt for a moment. Then it clicked and his face cleared, “Spencer, tell me what you’re getting at.”

Spencer twisted his hands around one another, “Have you ever thought about us having kids… biologically?” He watched Y/N’s Adam’s apple dip as he swallowed hard

“You mean like me being pregnant?”

“Yes, have you considered it an option for us?”

The conversations of other aquarium patrons were forgotten as Y/N took his gaze away from Spencer. His eyebrows were low as he considered his words carefully. Y/N always thought about the implications of what he was saying, maybe a little too much. Spencer could be biased though; his impatience did not mix well with his anxieties.

Eventually, Y/N turned back with a brave face and said, “I’d have to think about it some more.”

“Ok.” Spencer nodded, his chin wobbling a little.

There was hope though: he needed to think “some more”. Implying Y/N had thought about this before.

Near the end of their trip, Spencer did find himself in a staring contest with a little seahorse plushie with large eyes and an anatomically inaccurate tongue hanging out. In all honesty, it was kind of ugly.

“Spencer, come on. You know how I get around stuffed animals.”

How empathetic his boyfriend really was, projecting feelings of love onto the inanimate objects then making the excuse that he had to buy it now.

Spencer did have to leave the toy behind though. Out into the sunlight of the parking lot, he winced before he put his sunglasses back on.

“Park?” Y/N offered his hand and smiled. It was an olive branch, something to say that Spencer’s query had not ruined their day out together.

Spencer accepted and squeezed his hand. “Park.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, Y/N had a hand on their lower belly, some space between the fingers as if there was an invisible bump there to accommodate. His head had tilted while he thumbed over the air.

As drowsy as Spencer was from work, his mind was focused without a distraction on what he had seen through the ajar bathroom door. He could barely pay attention to the Doctor Who episode Y/N put on. In fact, he doubted anything could take his attention away from the idea of having a child with-

“What do you think about me being pregnant?”

Spencer’s eyes shot wide open, then they were covered slightly by his inquisitive eyebrows in his attempt find an answer. Especially with Y/N looking on him while he waited for him.

“I think you’d be so beautiful carrying our baby. But if you wouldn’t be comfortable, then I wouldn’t make you. We still have surrogacy, fostering, adoption to consider,” was his answer. Never a lie, but the truth was always softened.

Seemingly satisfied, Y/N looked back at the episode. But Spencer couldn’t wait anymore, forgetting about anything else in the world except for this.

“What do you think, Y/N?” His body leant in towards his boyfriend’s.

Squirming in their spot on the couch, Y/N hummed before he answered, “I froze some of my eggs before I started my transition. I also sold some, for a down payment on a house or my wedding.”

Spencer’s heart thrilled at the possibilities. A house together? Matching suits at their wedding? He almost neglected to think about the fact that pregnancy was suddenly a very viable option for their future.

Regardless of Spencer’s many, many thoughts, Y/N continued, “And I thought that perhaps, if I found the right person, I would like to carry their child.” His palm opened up to him and Spencer instantly took it. “I know you’re the right person, but I’m not sure I want a baby now.”

“Of course,” Spencer lifted Y/N’s hand to his lips, “Whenever we’re both ready.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Spencer pushed the dirty bedsheets into the washing machine; it wasn’t that big a deal. If the blood didn’t come out, then they could always buy a new set. Although they should really be saving money for decorating the nursery.

“Spenceerrrr.”

As the machine rumbled into life, Spencer returned to Y/N, curled up on the sofa with a heat pad to his gut. No amount of warnings from their doctor could have prepared Spencer for how emotionally straining it was to see his boyfriend suffering. Y/N was taking this a lot harder than Spencer – and rightfully so, it was his body that was changing.

“Why did I have to have such strong paternal instincts?” He grumbled with his eyes still closed.

Spencer let out a laugh, but it was cut off quick when Y/N whimpered loudly. He knelt down before him and cupped his face. Y/N’s cheeks were warm; his hands clung to Spencer’s wrists like a lifeline.

“What do you need?” Spencer asked softly and Y/N sighed, keening into his cooler palms.

“Can you tell me I’m handsome please?”

“You are the most handsome man in the world, and I adore you every minute of every day.” Spencer kissed Y/N’s pouting lips gently, “Handsome inside and out, I never wanna think about life without you. You just make everything in my life better.”

His fingers moved to brush away a tear that slipped down Y/N’s face and over the ridge of his nose. But he missed and it dripped onto the pillow.

“You’re doing so much for us, for our baby.”

“It’s not even real yet,” Y/N sniffled. His hands finally released Spencer and pressed the heat pad into him.

“It’s gonna be.” Spencer bumped their noses together, “We’re gonna be dads.”

A hoarse laugh met with a hint of a groan in Y/N’s chest, “Yeah. We’re gonna be dads.” That sound and those words were all Spencer needed to feel better. But he wished the same could be said for Y/N. The only thing he could provide was a promise of future relief:

“How about we order in tonight?”

“Ugh, yes.” Y/N burrowed his face into the pillow.

When their bed was made up properly, Spencer and Y/N cuddled together. Unfortunately, Y/N was restless, trying to find a comfortable position while his painkillers kicked in. Spencer kept his complaints to himself, allowing himself to be shifted around in Y/N’s hunt for relief. Honestly it was the least he could do.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

“The reproductive process begins when a male and a female seahorse do daily pre-dawn dances, intertwining their tails and swimming together.”

“Well, it’s nearly nine, so definitely past dawn.”

“I’m trying to be romantic, Y/N.”

Y/N adjusted the bed sheets around his middle, “We don’t have tails either and - if I remember correctly - your last sexy swimming encounter ended poorly.”

Spencer flushed at the memory of Lila in the pool; another memory turned the pink to red. Y/N had laughed so hard his gut ached when Spencer told him about how awkward he had been around Lila. This was before the context of the case had been disclosed, promptly removing the space for any more laughter.

“Baby?”

Y/N was touching his face. Spencer’s head emptied itself of all thoughts of Lila. This was not what he wanted to be thinking about right now. Y/N’s laughter maybe, but none of the rest.

Tucking a curl behind his ear, Y/N leant in close, “If I’m ready, and you’re ready, you know what happens.” His eyes wandered down Spencer’s face, “And it’s not swimming together.”

But, just as their lips were about to touch, Y/N jerked away from him. “Wait, I gotta brush my teeth first.”

Spencer moaned with indignation while falling backwards onto the bed as Y/N disappeared from view. A few seconds later, he heard the electric toothbrush buzzing. With a burst of energy, he stripped himself down to his underwear – a petty way to get back at Y/N who had made it very clear that undressing Spencer was one of his favourite parts of their sex life.

When Y/N returned, with the minty freshness he apparently desired more than his own boyfriend, he said “What? You already did this morning?”  His eyes looked down at Spencer’s chest and his lips twitched into a pout.

Spencer held back his grin, keeping his triumph at retaliation to himself as he said, “I wouldn’t have minded.”

“That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard, Spencer.”

And with that, Y/N crawled onto the bed, over Spencer’s body and kissed him silly. He did much more than that, enjoying their overlapping day off to the fullest before even leaving their home.

At ten to ten, sleepwear scattered about the bedroom floor, Spencer and Y/N sagged into the mattress, wrapped up in each other and the covers. The burning warmth of their bodies drew up two soporific smiles on their faces.

“You know, a seahorses’ body shape means that they’re inept swimmers, and they can actually die of exhaustion.”

Y/N poked Spencer’s sternum. “Is that your way of makin’ fun of my stamina? Give me a few minutes; I’ll be on you like a rash.”

Grinning at such a prospect, Spence continued, “They also mate for life monogamously.”

He felt two fingers touch his cheek, "Spencer, I love you and your endless fountain of knowledge.” Y/N paused to peck the corner of his lips, “But I’m not actually a seahorse. And, though I do plan to mate with you for life, if you wake me up before the sun is above the horizon for a ‘dance’, I'm gonna suffocate you with my new body pillow.”

“Oh, you got your pillow?”

“It’s en route.” Hence why Y/N was content to use Spencer in lieu of said pillow.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

When Spencer disclosed to Hotch that he would need some time off because he and Y/N were considering having a kid, first thing on a Monday morning, Hotch didn’t let anything on. There was a hint of a hint of a smile though. His eye wandered to the school photo of Jack he kept on his desk, and he was greeted with the memory that Jack almost shared a name with Emily’s cat.

Naturally, Rossi found out next. Technophobe Spencer Reid had left his computer screen on a website for baby blankets, and Rossi had been the one to pass by first. After turning the monitor off, Rossi took Spencer aside in the break room and spoke about how wonderful it was that he was going to be a father. Then he kissed both his cheeks, leaving with misty eyes and a smile that he wouldn’t explain to Penelope passing by. Spencer blinked then finished making his coffee.

The next conference room meeting – the same day and just for an update on the paperwork deadline - Spencer simply decided to drop the information that he and Y/N were planning on having a kid as if it was his thoughts on their next unsub’s motivations were.

Three seconds of silence later and an uproar exploded.

From then on, the week was filled with pokes and ribbing at his upcoming parenthood. A peek into the future.

After making her a cup of coffee, Spencer sat opposite JJ at her desk and asked for advice. Her response: offering Spencer the opportunity to babysit Henry more. Obviously he accepted; more time with his godson was always a good thing. Then she went into how parenting was just a natural thing that he would know when the time came. Not very reassuring on its own, but with his best friend’s support, Spencer felt a smidgen better.

Penelope admitted that she had saved outfit ideas on Pinterest for Spencer – among other members of the BAU. When Spencer dared to enter her lair, she showed him several. Apparently that wasn’t even a dent in her collection, and she had already placed an order on a little bow tie. Spencer left before she tried to organise a shopping trip; neither Spencer nor Y/N were really fans of retail therapy.

Derek was teasing away, “Spencer and Y/N are gonna be baby daddies.” And every single time, Emily would join in. She liked to claim she was the reason Spencer was having a kid, reminding him of when JJ was pregnant. He had been incredibly weirded out by the baby kicking, but Emily had asked if he had considered having “baby geniuses” and he never gave an answer.

To be fair, Spencer never could have seen this coming. That made it all the better.

Apart from when Derek began supplying a realm of baby names, that varied from “oh that’s actually cute” to “oh my god, why would you even consider that a name for a real child?” Spencer was happy to rank them aloud for him.

The cat was only half out of the bag though.

Now Spencer had always been affectionate when he and Y/N were together. But the second it spilled into their public lifestyle, Y/N knew something was afoot. He was quick to pick up on this when he went to collect Spencer up for a chilled date night and Spencer kissed his cheek in clear view of the entire bullpen.

“You told them, didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t wait, but I do have my paternity leave arranged!”

The team swarmed to deliver their congratulations. And it was then that they revealed that they all thought that Spencer and Y/N were planning to adopt or look for a surrogate. Their embraces didn’t spoil the unexpected second part of their announcement; Y/N looked like he’d simply put on a few pounds rather than gained a baby bump beneath his button-up. Naturally, there was even more of a hubbub than before when they discovered that Y/N was already pregnant.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

 “Spencer, baby, you gotta calm it with the ocean theme.”

“But…” he pouted, holding up the finished mobile. Brightly painted sea creatures and chunks of coral dangled delicately in a circle. Sure enough, there were orange seahorses hovering about their habitat.

“It’s very sweet and I adore you for it,” Y/N kissed Spencer. “Not everything has to be related to seahorses though.”

“I guess not.” Spencer’s defeated tone did not last long. His face brightened and he whipped a blanket adorned with little seahorses and bubbles at the edges out of the cot. “But - this online store was taking commissions, and you always say support small businesses!”

Thank god Y/N had been the one in charge of painting the walls. An underwater mural would have been a step too far.

“You, Doctor Spencer Reid, are so…” Y/N’s hands were up in the air between them, searching for an adjective to describe Spencer appropriately. Then he settled those hands on his shoulders and Y/N kissed him.

When they drew away, Spencer spoke, “I’m so what?”

Y/N shrugged, “Just so.” He kissed him again, lingering longer than before and smiling as Spencer’s hands touched the obtrusive roundness of his belly that pressed into Spencer’s stomach. They were so close to meeting their little bubba.

“So are you.”

“Ok, don’t have a go, I bought this before the ban,” Y/N held out a gift, wrapped in sea-green tissue paper and bearing a blue bow.

Folding the blanket neatly over the bars of the cot, Spencer eagerly yet daintily unwrapped the present. As the tissue paper fell to the carpet, his hands trembled.  Eyes shining, he couldn’t bring himself to look away from the latest scan that was framed by tiny seahorses to thank Y/N.

There was more still, as Y/N explained, “There’s another behind there. I’ve seen the state of the one in your wallet.”

“It got caught at the bottom of the pouch,” Spencer said quietly, unbending the catch on the back of the frame. Sure enough, two of the same photographs spilled into his waiting palm. Truth be told, Spencer had already taped his torn photo together again and it was going to stay in his wallet. This spare would be in the post soon, on its way over to his mother. God, she was so excited to hold a baby again. The photo album would have to do for now.

“Could you maybe recant the ocean ban? Because I saw this and I knew it would really go well with the blanket and the mobile.”

Sighing, Y/N’s head tilted back, “What is it?”

The pretence of annoyance couldn’t be maintained towards Spencer’s face beaming back at him as he held up a wonky looking seahorse plushie. It wasn’t the same one he’d seen before. Some heartfelt child had taken pity on that one and given it a forever home. No, this was a perfect little present for his bubba.

Y/N thought so too as he let a grin settle onto his face.

“Ok, we can keep this one. But no more from now, alright?”

“I suppose. Besides, our baby isn’t our seahorse. You are!”

“You better not buy us a fish tank for my birthday.” A spike of nerves hit Y/N when he couldn’t quite catch Spencer’s eye to confirm his word. “Spencer? Promise me... Spencer!”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

 “How are you feeling, Baby Daddy?” Derek hugged Y/N who was reclined in his bed. His body pillow propped him up for his visitors.

Y/N wrinkled his nose, “For once, I wish I was a real seahorse and I could have just sneezed her out.”

Katia Nikola Reid definitely looked like she’d been sneezed on when she first entered the world, screaming her teaspoon-sized lungs out. Named after a hero of both Y/N and Spencer, one day old, bundled in a blanket, she scowled at Spencer’s dopey face looming over her while Emily held her tight.

A hoard of presents huddled in the corner of Spencer and Y/N’s bedroom. Emily thought it’d be a great idea to bring the baby an Ikea shark that was bigger than the child – and would definitely take up around half of her cot.

“She’s already got him wrapped around her pinky finger.”

“Yes, she does,” Spencer agreed giddily.

Next, Derek took her in his arms, untucking her arms from the blanket swaddle to give her a fist bump. He swayed her about the room while Katia relaxed a little more. The deep humming in his chest soothed the wrinkles on her forehead. Katia stretched as if to touch his face, and her mouth gaped at him.

“Aww, baby genius is ready for a nap.” Derek yawned too, “Who’s gonna micromanage me while I put her down?”

“Me! Me!” Y/N said, his enthusiasm muted by tiredness. Spencer leapt to his side, helping him out of bed, his teammates watching fondly as he did so. Y/N was allowed out the room first, Derek close behind and clicking his tongue at little Katia.

“She’s so sweet,” Emily said, her eyes on the pair’s backs and the dangling loose blanket from under Derek’s left arm. “I’m so happy for you both.” And she hugged Spencer tight; Emily always gave such good hugs. Good thing she was going to be around to give plenty to his daughter.

Then, down the hall, he heard Derek say with sarcastic resignation, “Oh Spencer, I thought Y/N was kidding when he said no more seahorse themed items.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Y/N ended up climbing into the bathtub with Katia. Even as she had grown into her chubby features, looking more and more like him and Spencer with each passing day, she was still so small.

Sitting up with her in his lap to help her out, Y/N lowered her into the warm water. His fingers tenderly rubbed the blackcurrant scented soap on her tummy, copying her expression as her tongue poked out between her gums. Her jerking legs rejected the water that Y/N’s hands cupped to rinse the bubbles off.

“Oh!” Y/N said in surprise as Katia sneezed, “Bless you.”

He heard the front door go, but he let Spencer follow the clues to their bathroom. Sure enough, the Doctor soon entered with his jacket shed, already rolling his sleeves up as he dropped onto the bathmat. A hand curled at Y/N’s chin as he kissed him before it stroked over the damp wisps of hair on Katia’s head.

“Hello. Hi.” His voice was that bit more delicate as he caught Katia’s eye and welcomed her big gappy smile.

Y/N tilted his head towards Spencer. “Good day?”

“I missed you both.” Spencer swished the water around by Katia’s side, “Isn’t it incredible how she’s experiencing all of this for the first time?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

Spencer giggled away as the surrounding bathwater yellowed and Katia flapped her arms.

“Mind your language.” He said without any weight to his warning, “Our little girl can’t help it.” Then he stood and prepared her towel, a deep-sea blue that brought out her eyes. “Can I feed her tonight?”

“Of course, baby,” Y/N agreed as he lifted Katia out of the tub, where Spencer caught her and bundled her up with skilled speed. As he dried her off, Katia cooed away to herself. She did get a little pissed off when he dressed her up in a clean nappy and a sleepsuit, but Spencer couldn’t take her crumpled expression seriously without the tears.

The rocking chair had to be one of his best investments for his daughter’s room. It soothed Katia from the darkest of tantrums, a familiarity that swayed her. She fit so perfectly into Spencer’s arms and he fit so contentedly into the seat. Her eyelashes fluttered slowly shut as she drank more milk.

Not quite strong enough to sit up on her own, Katia leant fully into Spencer’s hand while he burped her – thankfully not for long. Then it was off into her cot.

Y/N watched him from the doorway as Spencer stroked the apple of Katia’s cheek while she drifted off into slumber. An effortless smile danced on his lips even as he switched the lamp off and welcomed Y/N over to see their sleeping babe.

“Love seeing you with her, Old Daddy Spencer teaching her everything she’ll need to know.” The kiss that followed was certainly not appropriate for their daughter’s nursery, so he took Y/N by the hand, leading him into the hallway. Even then, between the short pecks that pressed against his lips, Y/N continued to talk, “Is this how you felt while I was pregnant?”

Breath hot against his face, Spencer swallowed hard while Y/N said, “Seeing my handsome boyfriend carrying our child? I think I get it now.”

His hand slipped up Spencer’s shirt. It was crystal clear what his intentions were. Spencer was already close to panting when he pulled Y/N flush against him. With more desperation this time, they fumbled around their home until they made it to their bed. Spencer’s hands aligned with the stretch marks on Y/N’s thighs as he grabbed them and pulled him on top.

He huffed as Y/N’s teeth tugged and released his bottom lip, “We have to be quiet.”

“I can be quiet.” Y/N ripped off his shirt in one smooth movement, “Can you?”

Spencer couldn’t give an answer. Instead he pulled Y/N back against him as they fell onto their sheets.

Their first time in months, it didn’t last very long, but it was exactly what they needed.

 ---> ---> ---> ---> --->

 The biggest surprise of the evening was that Rossi put down his drink to hold Katia. To be fair though, he had already had a few. Hence why he was singing and dancing around the garden with Katia in his arms. What a sight to behold, it eased the pain of Derek and Hotch’s absence, their own kids to take care of now.

Eventually Rossi relented, allowing Penelope to take Katia, turning to Y/N who had kept a watchful eye on his actions, “Promise me you’ll bring her over when she’s allowed to eat food.”

“I can’t give her your food for her first taste. She’ll be disappointed for the rest of her life,” Y/N joked, Rossi letting out a boisterous laugh that made Katia giggle in turn.

Penelope got to hold Katia next and show her off to Henry who was very intrigued to learn more about his godsister – Spencer told him that was who Katia was and it stuck. Henry became Penelope’s little shadow until they found a seat for him and a cushion for his lap to hold the baby. His joy unbridled at such a responsibility was adorable. He posed for many photos, while Katia for once stayed quiet.

Spencer was tired but the best kind of tired. A night in with friends, watching his boyfriend and his daughter be welcomed as much as he was, it wasn’t a surprise but it was always a delight. And this moment right now, Y/N cradling Katia’s with one hand squeezing her little foot before he planned to take her into Rossi’s office? What a life they had cultivated together. As he sipped his drink, the bliss in his tummy was not doused by it.

 ---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Slouching on the sofa, Spencer watched with tired eyes as Katia stumbled in the room, her hands held in Y/N’s while she waddled between his legs. Her round face lit up at the sight of Spencer. Her pace increased beyond her abilities and Katia swung forward a little as she almost fell over.

“Oh dear,” Y/N cooed while Katia got back to her unstable feet. “That’s it, there we go.”

Spencer wished he had the energy to properly appreciate this moment, especially since both his boyfriend and their daughter were grinning like they shared a secret.

Katia dropped down onto her nappy-cushioned bottom then began to crawl over to Spencer’s feet. His hands, although dirty, rough and near ruined, accepted her offer and lifted Katia up into his lap. They stayed for safety around her middle, keeping her sat up straight as she looked on him with those big eyes. Eyes that were fresh and untainted copies of his own.

Y/N sat down beside Spencer, leaning in close to Katia so he caught her attention, “Hey, why don’t you show your Daddy what we’ve been practicing?”

Looking away from both her Dads, Katia drooled and pushed her fist in her mouth. Y/N waved until he and Spencer were back into her line of sight.

“Go on, sugar plum.” He pointed to Spencer, “Who’s that?” And he mouthed the answer to her.

“Dadadadadada.”

It was barely above a whisper. But her little grin, the top of a tooth poking out of the centre of her bottom gums, the way Katia looked at Spencer when she said it? A soft “oh” fell from Spencer’s lips and he clutched her close, her chubby arms barely reaching around his neck. His breath shaking out of him, he kissed the thick thatch of hair that had sprouted in his absence. He could feel Katia whispering “Dadadadada!” again.

“That’s me, Katia, I’m your Dada.” He sniffed back the sting in his eyes at the absolute proof that, in his time away from her, she had remembered him. When he moved away, placing Katia back into his lap, he closed his eyes as Katia’s scrabbling fingers rubbed across the tip of his nose.

Katia made a sudden attempt to stand, throwing her entire bodyweight towards Spencer. Spencer’s breath was snatched from his lungs and the tension remained even after he caught her with ease.

“You ok?” Y/N said and Spencer noticed that his hand was supporting his against Katia.

Spencer nodded weakly, “Hmm, you?”

“Better now.” Y/N let his hand go and began rubbing Spencer’s back in the same circular motions that Spencer rubbed Katia’s.

A tug snagged Spencer’s head to the left and he tutted as Katia grabbed at his cheek, “Ow, Katia, no.”

Instead, Katia took a fistful of the next thing she could find, which was Spencer’s hair, and she cried out an identical (if higher pitched) “Ow!”

“You hurt Spencer, not the other way around, Katia. Stop faking.” Y/N scolded playfully.

But Katia repeated Spencer’s outburst again, “Ow!”

Y/N lifted Katia’s little fist from Spencer’s hair, and it immediately clamped down on Spencer’s finger as an alternative to wave about.

Spencer kissed her hand, still so tiny and forgiving against his. He looked at Y/N, blinking fast as he half-heartedly said, “She’s so like you.”

The lock of hair Katia had yanked on curved around Y/N’s touch as he put it back into the disarray of fluff that stood around Spencer’s head, “That’s funny, because I think she’s so like you.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Tilting the pram onto its back wheels, Spencer pushed it up the step and into the aquarium tunnel. Katia lay back in her seat while gumming on her blanket corner. Her eyes were ready to take in the sights.

Y/N knelt before her, suffering a few kicks to his knees from Katia’s excitement. Her pram clips were undone. Little Katia was released into her Daddy’s arms then plonked up onto his shoulders. Her starfish-like hands pressed up against the glass. Her mouth became as wide as her eyes as she pointed at the stingray rippling past. She had seen fish before (Carl and Rosalind at home) but never like this.

“Yeah, that’s a ray, Katia,” Y/N rubbed his fingers over her back, his hands still to keep her steady.

Spencer pointed his finger right next to hers, “They use their electro-sensors, not their eyes, to find their meals which consists of shrimps, clams, and -”

Katia shrieked – interrupting his and she smacked her hands against the glass. No one seemed to mind though. Some patrons in the tunnel even chuckled at her behaviour. Like she needed any more encouragement, especially with Y/N grinning up at her and tickling her sides to elicit more laughter from his daughter.

When Spencer’s hand dropped, Katia shouted again. A little confused, he returned it and Katia took his finger in her hand then began dragging the tip across where the ray was.

“She wants it as a pet, what do you say, baby?”

“I thought you said not to get you any fish for your birthday.”

Eventually Katia was returned to the pram. Her head was thrown back to watch the rest of the tunnel go by. Then she hid her face in her blankie once they were out in the last few exhibits. There was a little tug of war to get her to let it go (she was a lot stronger than Y/N gave her credit for) and see the one other exhibit that both parents were invested in.

Taking her hand again, Spencer squatted beside the pram. “Hey look, the men seahorsies have the babies. They’re just like your Daddy.”

“Your favourite Daddy,” Y/N ruffled Spencer’s hair while Spencer pretended to be outraged. Katia caught onto the dramatic expression Spencer was wearing and copied him with a gasp added for good measure.

“What d’you reckon, any of these were babies when we went to visit last time?”

“Well, Y/N, the lifespan of these seahorses is approximately a year. So they could be.” He knew it was unlikely but, for the sake of the smiles on Y/N’s and Katia’s face, Spencer let it be.

[btswishes]

Love me for who I am now

Bucky x Reader ( Chapter 3)

Previous / Next (4)

Summary: You apply for the Stark internship and end up getting it, so now you have 5 months to make a good impression to continue working with the Avengers.

A/N: Ok Chapter 3 here we go, things are moving 10 000+ words later XD. Sorry for any mistakes made, hope you enjoy it even a tiny bit.

Word count:  3,997

Warmings: fights, harsh language, not part of the original MCU

Y/N- Your name

Y/L/N- Your Last Name

Tag list: @vicmc624​

                                    ----------------------------

   Two men dressed in dark fancy suits helped Captain America sit on the bench next to Dr. Banner, while one more presumably, also an agent rolled in 2 stretchers. From the voices you could distinguish Natasha Romanoff and Sergeant James Barnes. Not too far, with a confidant step followed Tony Stark keeping the splint around his left hand, covered slightly by the expensive material of his jacket - throw casually over his shoulders. Poor Pepper having her husband come home almost dead all the time- must be just awful.

“What happened?” Bruce barked out intensely checking Natasha in a hastily manner, making sure there wasn’t anything too major

 “HYDRA fed us the wrong information, long story short caught the link in time and no one died.” Tony explained, pulling a squished protein bar from the inside of his pant pocket

“I almost saw the light for a second time Tony.” Captain hissed when you began disinfecting his wounds, reacting to the cold cooling yet irritating feeling of the clear liquid on the cotton ball.

“I am sure that was the explosion.” Natasha snickered at the blond man. ”Next time don’t look at it, ok?” One after the other injured agents flooded the lab making motion difficult. Most of the equipment was on the other end of the packed room. Talking and a mix of incoherent sounds filled your head, causing you to go into overdrive. You had no idea how people could work in such an environment. Hospital work was part of your curriculum, as weird as it sounded, since you were dabbling in human body functions. Even there you never had so many people on your head, there was order- obviously lacking here.

  Some were very badly injured, near-death was a correct way to say it, but for sure not 90%. Looking around you couldn’t find a shorter way towards the bandages and irrigation solution. Tables and people were placed like chess pieces in a game you were losing because of panic. Tony kept his eyes on you, biting down on the crumpling snack, waiting to see what you would do. It could have been all a test for what you knew, yet it flew over your head.

“Dr. Banner.” You yelled out patching up the Cap and moving onto one of the stretchers “Can you pass me the small bag behind you please?” he nodded and did it all without even taking a look away from Natasha’s wounds. Professional or just slightly overconfident?

  Rising your right hand you caught the bag making its way towards you. The flap flung open and you pulled out the 4 bottles of vibranium dust onto the table, right next to you. A hair tie emerged from the same place shortly after. Bucky looked up at the changing expression on your face, interested in silence maybe also in a bit of pain. Your fingers raked up your scalp, gathering as much hair as possible to imprison with the elastic. Tony ever so silent but focused, a good judge of character.

  The lids of the bottles rolled onto the desk, discarded without a thought. Your hands cupped all of them and spilling piles of metallic dust on the floor. Stark rose an eyebrow and stopped chewing for a second. Taking a deep breath the oxygen gathered all your thoughts into an anxiety suppressing pill, shooting in waves through your bloodstream. You didn’t waste any time, your eyelids swung up letting your lashes almost hit your brows. Both your elbows bent in, positioning themselves next to your waist line snugly. You could feel your back muscles clench and tighten before extending. They shot your arms to the sides, dust cloud forming two plates pushing agents to the side. 

“SILANCE!” the room granted your wish, even the atoms could be heard moving with the shock engulfing the field “This is a lab NOT a playground! If you are able to cause such ruckus you aren’t hurt enough to be here. If any of you insist on doing this, I will give you a reason to scream. If you are patched up leave! Got a paper cut or bruise- leave! Unless you crawl to me, I don’t want to see you.” hunched over your body didn’t move from its metal bending pose, arms spread like a bird in flight, eyes looking forward “Now, out.” the words vibrated fearless in your throat

  It wasn’t surprising that almost all people in black suits left in a rush, accept some that were actually getting treated from the mission. Sergeant Barnes was still laying on the stretcher waiting for his turn, taken back from the scene that unraveled above him. Almost in a Dr. Strange hand motion you pulled the vibranium back.

  The silence continued making your confidence evaporate and let the anxiety condensate back into you. Eyes roaming around the room till a loud and audible clap pulled the strings of your head towards it. Tony was doing his best not to mess his arm up more, but to him this deserved praise.

“Well done Miss inter, I am pleasantly surprised with your actions…” his footsteps creeped up, letting his body lean onto Bucky’s current bed, ignoring the man’s grunt of discomfort “…and that.” his finger made circles pointing at your arms covered with the metallic dust shaped slightly like a gauntlet

“It’s amazing isn’t it?” Banner, back still facing the rest of the room, scoffed proud like a father witnessing his child’s grades 

“You know about it?” Tony crushed up the plastic of the protein bar, tossing it in the trash in the corner of the room

“Yeah.” The doctor was finishing up with Natasha “We were actually talking about that with her before you rushed in. I was lucky enough to get a special demonstration as well.”

“So what is it Miss intern ?” his head tilted, showing a new angle of his goatee

  It didn’t take you long to notice that the sergeant couldn’t get up because he was shot pretty badly. Your desk had turned into a makeshift surgical table with all kinds of things on it - soon to be used. One of the gauntlets flew off your soft skin and pulled up the soldier like he was made of feathers. The wound seemed to be closing up fast, the super serum did give him abnormal healing. This was proof that not everything is a good thing. The bullet was still lodged inside his body, which wasn’t the optimal place for foreign matter.

“It’s vibranium dust. I am sure Mr. Stark knows about it. It was in my application papers.” You began disinfecting the area, applying a small dose of lidocaine onto the open cut, just to numb it as much as possible. Somehow you didn’t want this man to feel any more pain that he already had endured, past or present moment.

“You did, about it being inside the body not throwing it like the pissed off Sand man.” The ever so playful with words Tony ladies and gentlemen 

“I might have skipped one or two parts, but they were something I was experimenting with on the side and not on the subject I was offering.” The vibranium took the elegant shape of a sharp scalpel. With a light hand, the pressure made the blade disappear into Bucky’s skin, making a big enough incision. Tweezers fit inside snugly, pulling out the bullet that looked almost destroyed in his body. “ This batch is under my willful control.”

“Transmitter?” Tony’s eyes went over your whole body trying to find something, still consciously making a mental mark, on the little knife you manifested from basically a pile of metal “Doesn’t look like they are voice triggered .”

“The only transmitter is my brain waves.” Placing your fingers over a cup of rubbing alcohol, you dropped in the tweezers and the scalpel, now turned into the same shiny mass as it was originally in its own jar “ Quantum engineered with quarks made from my own tissues.”

“Ssss.” The hissing sound that came out from in-between Tony’s teeth as he took a sharp breath in, send chills down his own back “Masochist aren’t you. Hey, we don’t kink shame here sweetie, don’t worry.” A playful wink flew towards you “Y/N right?” your head nodded, hands putting things in their original place, trying to give the room back its original look “Nice nice. Welcome to the team, glad to have you. Seems like you chose Banner to start off your training. I am deeply offended .” a big hand grabbed onto the fabric over his heart, in the most theatrical way possible “Most people go for the playboy billionaire. I guess not everyone has good taste, don’t worry I will fix it.” 

“Excuse me?” training? Well that definitely was NOT in the list of activities for you internship “Ugh…”

“Sweet cheeks, you didn’t thought I would give access to Avengers information just like that to an intern?” he scoffed at exactly what you were thinking. The rest of the members were observing the situation from the sidelines. It wasn’t yet their time to jump in.

“Look.” His thigh went over the desk, sitting half way onto it, head crooked at you. Tony was focused on the ever so slightly changing lines of your face. He wasn’t the only one holding a breath in in expectation “I went over you application, I was taken back by your idea. It was so outside the box I am kinda jelly I didn’t come up with it. Some more digging here and there... turns out joining my university was done on a whim - second shot to the heart sweetie.” his fingers back onto his chest next to the reactor core “ Lack of history before that, no future ambitions whatsoever. Heck -” Tony’s body slid off the hard flat surface, fixing the jacket slipping off his shoulder. His back was facing you as he began walking towards the exit “ Even your professors were worried about you- gave them a lil call. I just saw a bright cookie I wanted, so I got you.” With a sideways, look he smirked almost like a cat playing with a mouse

“And I plan to keep you here one way or the other, so I offer you this.” Arms spread sideways, garment now resting on the floor, gathering the dust and dirt from all the shoes in here previously “Training, knowledge and access to tech you would never have even in university or the government. Your choice. Become someone who you used to look up to, or go back after the end of your internship.”

  Your eyes moved from the floor, slowly towards his jacket, over it and straight up his body. The breath lodged inside your throat began moving in and out unnoticeable. The two super soldiers could practically hear you inhaling a storm around yourself and Natasha read your body language. To all of them you were as simple as an open brochure. Tony knew, he was just waiting for the moment you crack under. You were but a pile of clay with astonishing properties, ready to be turned into anything.

“I did apply to Stark university as a last choice. BUT! I applied to this internship for the sole reason of doing nothing but the best to build up a reputation and secure a position in the future.” Your voice snuck out from between your soft lips as a rising in octaves whisper. As confidence began to accumulate so did the need for you to prove your qualities “Even if you didn’t tell me this Mr. Stark, I would have still whipped my success onto your face. There is something I just gotta know.”

  The loud laugh echoing from inside his voice box made your whole body flinch, a blink opening your eyes wide simultaneously. “That is my girl! Exactly what I wanted to hear from you. I knew I chose you very very well. And call me Tony, I am not that old yet for Mr.” his heels swung his body like a ballerina to face you for a bit “ First round you have with green angry guy over there. Banner seems to like you already, but I want to see how true those PE grades of yours are. I expect you to take the gym in the building as serious as the rest do, little smarty pants. I would say don’t disappoint, but that look in your eyes shows me you don’t need cheesy lines. ”

  It felt like time froze the moment the owner of the building stepped out of the lab. The heartbeat in your ears was the only thing counting down the seconds passing by you, before a big and firm arm rested onto your right shoulder. Neck cracked a bit looking up at the huge yet gentle owner. He flashed you a smile almost as bright as his blonde hair.

“He tends to mess with newcomers, don’t worry your head about it too much. Was like that with me too.” Captain America looked down at Bucky and then back at you “I leave my oldie here with you, make sure you take good care of him. “

“Thank you sir.” You blurred out, out of respect towards your childhood hero and probably one of the few people who you felt you could talk casually with out side of ‘work’

“Please, call me Steve. Even if you are a baby to the group, you are still an Avenger in training so, no need for formalities with us.”  With a gentle patting motion he pushed himself off you and in the direction of his own room. ”Don’t stay too long and forget to eat, I know how you science people get.”

  Natasha jumped off the stretcher and groaned out, trying to reposition the shoulder that once more was part of her body and not just hanging by muscles and tissues.

“See you later.” She flashed you a smile, red locks of hair dancing like fire around her “Neighbor.” The word sung out playfully, in a teasing big sister manner

“You staying behind for the usual check up?” Bruce’s voice cracked, waves directed towards the super soldier sitting on the stretcher next to you.

“Yeah.” The word bass low almost pushed his head to the side, but he stopped half way- direction opposite from you

“Y/N would you be a dear and do it for me? I have to go and get Clint his meds.” His thin figure skillfully snaked around tables, chairs and desks out of the room - door sliding closed behind him. You could hear the pressured air whistled inside from the movement.

  Pushing the screen over to the Sergeant’s body made you paused. The scanner caught easily the interference caused by his weapons, plastered over his body in bondage style belts and bags.

“Um, you will have to take those off. Sorry.” Your voice but a whisper that only his super senses could catch. With a nod he reach up to the clasp. The straps were pushing into his strong and muscular body so much, the moment he pressed the button they popped off with a jump, landing onto this pectorals seconds later. As much as you tried to stay professional, your eyes kept drifting over his body. Bucky looked huge compared to the TV version of him. Everyone knew he was experimented on by HYDRA and made into an enhanced human, but this man was a walking tank. His biceps and thighs waiting to just bust out of the fabric. Going wide, your eyes connected with your brain, realizing you were practically having weird thoughts over an injured person. Shaking out of it, you pulled back.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. ?” calling out, the interface answered practically before you could finish saying the name

Yes Miss.

“Do a standard scan and a nerve check please.”

Shall I send the results to your tablet?

“Yes, thank you.” The sound of the machine turning on led you to pull the flat screen and look at the image developing as pixels. Bucky’s body didn’t move, a bolder just sitting there and waiting. Yet his eyes caught a glimpse of your body slowly leaning onto the desk, focused on your work, unintentionally exposing your neck to him - the shapes your curves made. Somehow he couldn’t avert his gaze even if his head was empty from thoughts.

Done

“Ok...” the letters were prolonged. Biting your nail you noticed the inflamed nerve on his shoulder, pinched between his metal arm and the flesh of his body. “ Any shoulder pain?” you wanted him to say it, not you showing it

“None that I know of.” He responded, voice like thick caramel- sweet. Breathy as it was, the sigh left your mouth open, pulling your eyelids down over your irises. Your hips pushed you away from the desk and over to his left side. The cold vibranium under your touch felt refreshing. Soon as you found the spot, just the slightest pressure made him grunt.

“Hm.”an amused smirk followed the huff of air through your nose “Well I am sure this is something you know of.” Bucky kept his serious face, looking forward and not acknowledging the pain you pulled out of his extremity “Sergeant Barnes, come on.” He didn’t budge nor would he any time soon and you knew that without a verbal answer or marker

 Inhaling some air, you prepared yourself for a conversation that might just jab at more than his inflamed nerve. It could or couldn’t end up with you dead, but you weren’t getting anywhere with this. Pulling the chair on one leg, you swung it over standing directly in front of the tense man. It was time for a confrontation that no one wanted. With a push of your coat you sat down, crossing your legs and leaning onto the knee, elbow to palm.

“Look, I may not be the best person to have this conversation with or anywhere close to that, but you really need to start opening up at least to the people that care about you. Steve ‘cough cough’.”

  Bucky was still jumping from object to object but staying away from you “Keep your secrets to yourself soldier. Fighting inner demons and past trauma that you don’t even remember is hell, but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer on the outside too. No one would think of you any less if you said ‘hey my shoulder hurt’.” Leaning onto the chair’s back you let your head fall towards the wood behind . Diverting your physical eye contact let him eye you comfortably.

“What would you know about that?” ok he spoke, defensive and aggressive but progress- we are making it

“I don’t, I never said I did. If I could experience what you have, I would do it to understand you.” Side to side your head rubbed over the backrest, little splints tugging on your hair “Trust me, I would make this whole situation a lot better.”

“Is this part of your internship or something?” his words pulled your teeth to your bottom lip, squeezing away gently the remark you wished to make. Maybe a bit of Tony was rubbing off onto you.

“Babysitting problematic kids?” head shot up, as your fingers found your chin, placing your whole demeanor into a thinking position “No, I don’t think so.I don’t tend to brats, not my forte.”

“You seem to let your lips lose in bad situations.” Oh now, now he was mad. “Might end up biting you in the ass later.” You didn’t need superpowers or the bp of his heart to deduce it. Since we jumped over the acceptable line by a mile, no need to turn back now. There is one way to deal with an ass and that was bite back harder.

“Sorry for not walking on eggshells around you. Sergeant Barnes.” You saluted him in a mocking way, leaning back in the chair, basically feeling the waves of anger directed towards you. If this was the Winter Soldier he would have bitten off my throat, disgraceful. - the contractions of your lungs stopped at that thought, so rude...so you? Almost like you knew him personally. Ok, ok time to cool down before something happens.

“How do you expect me to help you if you don’t throw me a bone?” you sighed, feeling still how angry Bucky was about the whole conversation and situation in general. You were in the same headspace, if not in a weird yet familiar one” If the arm hurts, let people help, heck ask Dr. Banner or Tony.” It still felt weird using their first names - energizing no doubt

“They don’t understand, never will, nor will you.” This grown man was acting like a child, like the world didn’t have people who had similar levels of stress in their life. It was slowly crawling up your nerves and igniting a fire that could, if unleashed, burn him down so fast, only the metal arm would be left. But you tried to stay cool and calm, be the adult.

“Fine, do what you want.” Your body shot up as you threw your hands even higher. The lab coat fixed itself back onto you, fingers rubbing the back of your neck. The man sat there hunched over, arm stinging with the most dumbfounded look he could plaster over his stoic façade. “You can go, but if you don’t fix it you will be a burden on the next mission.” And you threw the hook, now all good ol’Bucky had to do is bite and this would be all over in the nick of time. There was a room with your name on it, calling.

  You waited and waited till you noticed the stars pocking inside from the window. Head moving towards your clock made you realize that it was already 9pm. With a jump in your step you pulled all the vibranium back in its original comfy home and inside the space in your new desk. Whipping dust off tech and trying to organize your papers, completely ignoring the tantrum little boy pretty close by.

“Fine.” Bucky’s voice was louder and deeper than before

“What?” your neck tugged on the muscles, letting you look at him with an unbothered look swimming around in your eyes.

“I said fine.Do what you gotta do.” And the verbal consent was given on a whim. Joy filled you up knowing you wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. All happened in a blink of an eye - arms wrapping around his, a sudden loud and painful swing leading to the crack of his whole metallic prosthetic. This was probably the first time you saw such an expression on his face. His brain now activated to deference mode, reached to grab your neck. Any normal person would piss their pants, but you tried to stay calm. Tapping his wrist you played a small echoing sound, when his eyes landed on the full extension and rotation of his arm.

  The accumulating pressure left his muscles as it showed on his face. Bucky’s eyes were wide, roaming over his arm with the speed of light, pulling a light cough out of your throat.

“Sorry. “ he pulled back instantly.

“I just repositioned your arm you big brute. Next time swing gentle, no need to go through walls.” Palming your neck you pointed at the door

“Now leave me to my work.” A light jump and he was on his legs again doing as you requested, not being able to say anything. Leaning onto the door frame he mumbled something and left.

Sergeant Barnes was thankful Miss.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. informed you, pulling a smirk from deep inside. “Yeah yeah, I know. Tough nut that James Barnes. Such a kid.” One more giggle and it was off to finishing up for you.

[omgrachwrites]

Tell a Tale of You and Me - Chapter Two

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: You knew that  making a bet with Sirius Black was like making a deal with the devil  but you just couldn’t help yourself. You had never been a heavenly  woman.

Warnings: fluff, lil bit of cursing

Words: 2559

A/N: I would like to say a massive thank you to all you guys who have supported me with this fic, you are all just the best people!! I really hope you enjoy this and please let me know if you would like to be tagged! I love each and every one of you very much! xxx

Chapter Two

You smiled as the blustery wind blew through the trees of the dark forest; the wind was so strong that the leaves trembled as they threatened to fall. You were certain that the glass in the panes would be shaking in the Gryffindor dormitories. The material of your coat was thick and warm as you huddled into it; you had grown accustomed to getting up early over the summer and taking a stroll around the village. You thought that it would be nice to do so once you were back at school and you were right, it was nice.

Glancing over in the direction of Hagrid’s hut, you noticed that he was just leaving his home and he was struggling with his many bags. Hurrying over to him, you smiled at the wild looking man and you picked up a couple of bags, “let me help you Hagrid.”

“That’s very kind of ‘yer, Y/N,” he beamed at you from beneath his beard, “how’s your brother doing?” he asked as the both of you began to drag the bags.

You grinned to yourself, “it’s only been a couple of weeks but it’s very plain that he loves it here. He’s in his element,” you were very grateful that Dumbledore had still let Finn attend.

As you and Hagrid walked towards the forest paddock, he was saying that he could really do with an assistant, “you should absolutely get a dog,” you grinned and he let out a booming laugh.

“That’s a fine idea, Y/N.”

As you got to the paddock, you bid Hagrid goodbye and you turned to walk back to the castle before breakfast began. When you walked into the dormitory you giggled when you saw a pair of shining emerald eyes peering at you, “good morning sleepyhead.”

Lily groaned sleepily and threw a pillow at you, it missed you by about six inches, “I can’t believe you’re up and dressed this early, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes at your friend before running a comb through your hair, “well, you know what the muggles say. The early bird catches the worm.”

She grumbled at you as she got dressed in her uniform and tied a green ribbon among her red curls and you both traipsed down into the common room. They discovered that a crowd of people were gathered around a notice.

“Excuse me, please. Thank you very much,” Lily laughed as she gently nudged a tiny little first year out of the way. You also pushed your way to the front and read the notice.

As Gryffindor’s Quidditch Captain, James had put up a notice that try-outs would be held in about a month’s time. You felt warm fingers link through your own and you looked to see that the pretty redhead was grinning at you; “you should try out, Y/N.”

You scoffed with a giggle as you led Lily through the portrait hole. Perhaps if she was away from the notice then she’d drop the subject all together, you really didn’t want to talk about it, “yeah, I don’t think so, you remember what happened in second year, thanks though,” you shuddered at the memory.

In your second year, the Slytherin Captain had aimed a bludger at you; it had hit you and broken your nose. As a result, you had slid off the end of your broom in front of the whole school. The laughter still haunted you; it had been so humiliating that you’d pretty much lost all of your confidence in Quidditch.

Lily sighed and rested her head on your shoulder, her hair smelled of vanilla and honey, “maybe you’ll change your mind.”

The Great Hall was positively full of amazing smells; breakfast was your favourite meal of the day. You looked down the long table and spotted Remus nursing a mug of something. You smirked and plucked a marshmallow from the bowl in the middle of the table, apart from flirting with Remus, messing with him was one of your favourite things to do. As you and Lily neared the marauders, you took your aim and fired the marshmallow straight into Remus’ mug.

He looked up and rolled his eyes as he chuckled at you, his hazel eyes shining, “good morning to you too, Y/N.”

You giggled, “good morning sunshine,” you sat opposite him and piled toast and eggs onto your plate.

With a charming smirk, Sirius turned round at the sound of your voice. The girl he had been talking to looked very offended, “my, don’t you simply look radiant today?”

You smirked at him as you took a gulp of orange juice, “my, aren’t you an extraordinary flirt?” you teased back, causing him to pull a tongue at you.

Lily laughed and James piped up, “yes, flirting and sleeping around are his only personality traits, Y/N,” he chuckled and lowered his voice, “did you see the notice for try-outs?”

You nodded, smiling at your friend, “yes James, I saw it.”

“Won’t you come?”

You sighed as you placed your knife and fork onto your plate, “are you and Lily in cahoots or something? I’m gonna kill her. No, I won’t come,” your tone was uncharacteristically harsh so you shot him a sweet smile.

“But, you were so great when we played it over the summer!”

“Well, there’s a huge difference when I’m just playing with you guys, and besides, that wasn’t actually proper Quidditch” you ruffled his hair and he smiled at you.

You looked over at Remus as his hazel eyes lingered on a pretty but cold Slytherin girl named Ursula as she walked by with Narcissa Black. You smirked and raised an eyebrow; you wanted to see Remus happy, even if it was with a Slytherin. He was such a sweetheart. You were about to ask him about it with a teasing grin but Sirius interrupted your unspoken words.

“What have we got first?” he asked through a mouthful of scrambled egg.

His friends looked at him in disgust, “ugh, we’ve got double potions with the Slytherins, you should really learn our timetable,” you rolled your eyes.

“But, why would I need to do that, if I can just ask you sweets?” he winked at you and you kicked his shin underneath the table.

In potions class you were brewing an Elixir to Induce Euphoria, which induced a sense of inexplicable happiness upon the drinker. If the potion was made too strongly then the mere fumes made the brewer extremely happy and giggly. It was a really good lesson. Unfortunately, you had made your potion much too strong and the fumes dissolved you and poor Lily into fits of giggles. It was a really nice feeling.

You looked over at Sirius and discovered that he was watching you with a shit eating grin on his face. His smile reached his eyes, causing crinkles around them and there were dimples in his cheeks. You had always noticed how devastatingly handsome he was, though you didn’t dwell on it much. Not anymore. Though, you had to admit it was entrancing the way his grey eyes sparkled in the low lights of the dungeon. But, that was probably just the potion talking.

“You really are beautiful, Y/N,” he smiled and you flushed at the older boy’s words.

“You’re sweet Sirius, who would have thought it?” Sirius chuckled, almost looking disappointed as he placed a lid on your cauldron which cut off the fumes. The effects gradually wore off.

You looked up and noticed that Slughorn was making his way over to you, his eyebrows set in a frown, “shit,” you cursed beneath your breath, you were nervous. You were sure that he was about to reprimand you for making your potion too strong.

“Miss L/N,” he whispered, placing his hand on your shoulder and you gave him a confused look, “Professor Dumbledore has made me aware of your brother’s affliction. As head of his house and the Potions Master, I will do everything in my power to help him.”

You were very touched, Slughorn was so kind, you blinked annoying tears out of your eyes and smiled, “thank you Professor that is very kind of you.”

As you had been explaining to Hagrid earlier, Finn seemed to really enjoy Hogwarts so far and he had a little group of friends. He wasn’t hanging around with Malfoy which you were very thankful for.

Later on that evening, the boys – minus Peter, who seemed to be going off on his own a lot – smuggled second helpings of dessert out of the kitchens. In your earlier years, you had thought that it was very impressive when your friends managed to smuggle food. You had since discovered that the house elves were only too happy to give it away.

You smirked, licking vanilla icing from your fingers – you didn’t realise that Sirius was watching you – as Lily everyone the embarrassing story of how James had asked her out. The first years giggled when Lily got to the part where James had danced and sang his way across the teacher’s table, in front of everyone. Dumbledore had seemed to really enjoy James’ little performance.

James hung his head and tried but failed to change the subject. It was eventually Sirius who interrupted Lily’s story and changed the subject. He did it by whistling at a passing 6th year, she simpered and giggled as she walked slowly, swaying her hips as she went. You scowled, wishing that she’d have a bit of respect for herself. You mimed being sick as Lily and Remus smirked at you, you didn’t really want your dessert anymore.

“You’re such a pig Sirius. It’s a waste of that pretty face.”

“So, you do think I’m pretty? I knew it!” he smirked as you gave him the finger, he was so annoying sometimes, “jealous are you, L/N?” he challenged, narrowing his eyes. There was silence as everybody waited to see what would happen next.

You laughed, Sirius was someone that you could never be jealous about, he just made his friends look bad by the way he acted, “no, there’s nothing to be jealous of but maybe James was right, sleeping around does seem to be your only personality trait.”

“Please don’t bring me into this,” James mumbled.

Sirius scoffed as he leaned back on the couch, dragging a hand through his tangled hair, his eyes alight with challenge, “please, I can go without dating or sleeping around for longer than you think, Y/N.”

“Prove it,” you weren’t so sure why you were so bothered.

“Fine,” Sirius smirked, “I bet that I can go until New Year’s Eve without dating or sleeping around, it’s gonna be a challenge for me. If I can’t then I guess you’ll have the satisfaction of being right about me.”

You knew that making a bet with Sirius Black was like making a deal with the devil. However, you were undeniably competitive and everybody knew it and you wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to humble Sirius. You were sure that he’d lose. Satisfaction of being right about him was all you really wanted.

“And, how would I know that you haven’t been with some poor girl in private?” you asked with a raised eyebrow. Sirius couldn’t go for long without messing with girls.

Sirius smirked and tweaked your nose and you scowled in annoyance, “my girls can’t help boasting when we’ve been together. They don’t abide by lies; you can trust the gossip where I’m concerned.”

You nodded with a mischievous smile, you knew that he was right though you didn’t like to admit it, “fine,” you relented, “you have got yourself a bet, Black,” you smiled at your friend and you shook on it. Your deal was sealed; you even had witnesses to confirm it.

-------------------

About a week later, the marauders were patrolling the grounds, close to the pumpkin patch at Hagrid’s hut. They were finalising their plans for their newest prank and were consulting the marauder’s map. The boys chuckled as a dot labelled, ‘Marlene McKinnon’ and a dot labelled ‘Dorcas Meadowes’ were walking side by side.

“They’re so cute,” Peter sighed wistfully.

Sirius chuckled, “at least I know now why she rejected me,” Marlene McKinnon had recently come out as gay which made sense to Sirius. He was sure that a straight girl would never reject him.

James slapped him on the shoulder and snickered, “it’s been a week and you’re still sticking to the bet that you and Y/N made. I’m proud of you mate, I didn’t think it was possible.”

“Thanks Prongs,” Sirius chuckled; he was going to prove Y/N that she was wrong about him. Remus simply smirked at him knowingly. Sirius ignored his best mate as he huddled further into his jacket and looked ahead to the dark thicket of trees. He saw a familiar figure on a broomstick and he got an idea, “I’ll catch up with you lads in the common room, okay?” he didn’t wait for an answer as he strode off across the damp grass.

As he got closer, he noticed that Y/N’s hair was loose and wild, the wind whipping it around her face. Sirius decided that he liked it like that, “practising for the try-outs are we?” he called up to her, his voice getting lost in the wind.

Pretty, sparkling eyes looked down at him warily as she landed gracefully on the ground. Y/N looked away from him as she got off her broomstick, tucking it beneath her arm, “I wanted to try out for the position of seeker, I really did but after what happened in second year…” she trailed of, still refusing to look at him. This was very unlike her, she was normally snarky and cheerful.

Sirius chewed his lip; they often made fun of each other, their personalities clashed like fire and ice. But, he saw that this was important to her and he was in a perfect position to help her out. He walked over to her and took her hand, her fingers were like blocks of ice, “Y/N, look at me,” she sighed and looked up at him warily, and Sirius smiled, “I’ve decided not to join the team this year but I can help you with your confidence. I will help you become the best seeker that Hogwarts has ever known.”

Y/N slipped her hand from his and stood with her back against a tree, wrapping her arms around herself and she looked at him with narrowed eyes, “and, you would help me out of the goodness of your own heart?”

“Of course I would, you’re one of my best friends and that will never change,” he smiled, “and besides, I need something to do if I can’t date or sleep around.”

Y/N ducked her head and giggled, shooting him a pretty smile, “fine, every Friday and Saturday, leading up to the try-outs. Except for full moons, because of Remus,” she added quickly with a funny look on her face.

“Alright then,” Sirius beamed, he felt like a good Samaritan.

“Thank you Sirius, you’re not so bad after all,” she teased, back to her usual self as she pulled him into a hug. The scent of lavender and rose hung in the air long after Y/N had left the paddock and Sirius took a deep breath of it.

------------------- 

Taglist: open

@approved-by-dentists​ @thefuturelawyer​ @a-miserable-hufflepunk​ @firelordmillie​ @seriouslysiriuss​ @sleep-i-ness​

[twsted-mirrors]

THE CASINO

DEMON ! AZUL / ARCHANGEL ! S/O

hiii! here’s another addition to the angels/demons au! here’s the first one !

“You were...Apprehensive, to say the least. Really, who wouldn’t be, in this situation?”

Being assigned to your first mission on Earth as a solo operation, even as an Archangel, isn’t exactly...safe?

Especially not when said solo operation is to scope out a notorious demon’s hideout. 

Have we mentioned that this is by herself?

You had no idea what your superiors were thinking. Yeah, you normally trusts the judgement of the two seraphim, but this...even with the tiny team, this is excessive.

Your halo had been discarded before you teleported to a block from the...loud building, the two sets of wings are neatly tucked away. Now, the only thing left is your pure energy. There was a potion you was given, but it was...experimental, and only half-reliable, at best.

Still, better than nothing, you guesses.

The target was a rather coveted aquatic demon, known as Azul Ashengrotto on Earth, but nicknamed Ursula by the Heavens. He gained temporary, but admittedly formidable, power through making contracts, conning the subject out of their belongings, or often their soul.

Then there were the two lackeys. A set of changeling twins, known as Jade and Floyd, or Jetsam and Flotsam. They balance each other out in brains and brawn respectively. Combine that with their service to Ursula, and it’s no wonder they’re all such high-priced targets. You could probably contend for a promotion to Seraphim for taking them down alone.

Their suspected hideout was a casino, likely started by Ursula himself, called “Mostro Lounge”. It was surprisingly hidden between other buildings, but you could smell the darkness, the sin, from half a block away. Ugh.

Remember what everyone told you, look confident, fake it until you make it… That was the latest mantra you were using to calm down.

You’re so fucked, Maker help you.

You finally arrive at the entrance, seeing the (human, after taking a second glance) bouncer take a quick once-over before nodding. Good, you can go in.

Man, if outside was loud, then the inside is screaming. The general color scheme is neon blue, which seems to wash over everything in an overhead hue. Jazz could be heard in the background as patrons filed in and out of the entrance lounge.

There’s the casino, the bistro, and the...rooms? Huh, nobody was made aware of a redlight district in this town, you think. The casino seems like a good start. Get a drink, mingle, fit in. Do what you were trained for.

Except...that didn’t go too well.

You had gotten halfway through some sort of fruity drink in a martini glass and were only approached by three humans before an employee approached, saying “The boss has requested for you.”

You almost passed out right there.

Fuck, not like you could flee by now, you were already noticed by Ursula. Doing anything would most certainly cause a scene, which could cause any kind of shitshow, with humans’ natural unpredictability. Not to mention, somebody will film it, for sure. Especially if someone ends transforming from their vessels.

You really had no choice but to follow.

The employee, dressed in a powder blue and lilac suit, had taken you through a “back route” to...the “rooms” section of the building. After an uncomfortably long elevator ride, you were handed off to--fuck. It’s the changelings.

Motherfucker. Should now be a good time to send a distress signal? The one seraph should be close to finished with scouting the Demon King’s hideout, and both the other seraph and the simple angel are both idle…

“Right this way, Miss.” The one on the left (more composed, structured, must be Jetsam), bows with his left hand on his right breast. 

(Thoughts are running through your head, ones you’re trying to ignore. Disgusting, revolting, vile, impure, sinful, unworthy--)

You step forward, following. Another walk, another long corridor, another uncomfortable, loaded silence. Like the air is embedded in gunpowder, able to be lit with the tiniest spark.

The other one, Flotsam, is perched at the doorway, the stupidest fucking grin on his face.

(You just want to tear that face off. Look, enjoy my efforts, congratulate me on me work, be proud of me, look at how unworthy they are to be in my presence, just like you told me--)

He opens the door. You walk in. The changelings follow, closing it behind you, and then standing guard. 

It was a large room, filled to the brim with decorations revolving around the sea, two large leather couches, stands for good and drinks…

And then the desk. A large, oak desk, with the man himself sitting behind it. 

He was somewhat different from what you expected—namely not towering over you—but he was very intimidating in his own right. A thin young man, with pale skin and even paler white hair, wearing a three piece suit and fedora, the same color scheme as that employee—and the changelings—.

“—aha, my, my, my, and just what do we have here? A little guppy that’s snooped her way into my lounge?” His voice is smooth, taking a slightly deep tone. No wonder he gets so many human clients, he could probably talk himself in or out of whatever he wants.

You freeze. The vessel’s stomach churns. “I wasn’t snooping. I just wanted to have a few drinks, maybe have a few games. What’s wrong with that?” Remember your training, remember your training, remember—.

Flotsam has the gall to giggle from behind you. 

Ursula stands, grabbing a pen from the desk, “Aha! Bullshit. Oh, honey,” He’s walking towards you, “I could smell that stench since you teleported in a block away.”

He’s right in front of you, leaning down to match your height. You try to turn your head, look anywhere but at him, but he’s already acting.

Ursula pushes the pen below your chin, forcing your head up. He taps it once, twice, until you finally look at him.

“There we go, that’s a good guppy.”

“W… what? What the hell are you talking about?” You think you’re going to combust.

“Oh, don’t you play coy with me, little arch,” He leans up, removing the pen (and intense stare), “Jade, Floyd. Hold their arms.”

In an instant, Your arms are held behind you, one by each twin. You have to send the distress signal. Focus, focus…

“And just how…” He’s back in front of you, but this time, looming, rather than in your face like before. He reaches a gloved hand around the waist, to the back, two fingers pressing on the vessel’s middle of the spine. “...Are you going to compensate me?”

You yell, your wings being forcibly torn from the tuck in the back.

You can’t hesitate anymore, the distress signal’s been sent out. The scent of pure fear fills the room, causing Ursula to reel back, and the twins—Jade and Floyd—to weaken their hold on your arms, just for a second.

But a second was all you needed.

A portal of light opened beneath you, with you dropping down, and shut as quick as it opened.

Your seraph had communicated through the link—you had done more than enough for her mission, it was time to help your other seraph, who was being pursued by an extremely strong Fallen One.

The previous events had to be pushed to the back of your mind. That could wait for debriefing, there were other things to focus on, right now.

[aspenflower17]

Finding You (Part Fourteen of ??)

Hey everyone! I hope you’re all having a good New Year so far! I have a bit of an update after the chapter for y’all.

Edit: Oop! I forgot the link to Part One for any new people! My bad!

Tags (ily all!):  @simpingforsatan @naimena @hachimochi @wrathandgreed @magi-minminxiii @rensphilia @a-dream-at-night @chloelikesobeyme @getbehindme-satan @theuglypugling @oofthelazyweeb @mammonismyfirstman (as always, if you’d like to be put on the tags list, juust let me know in a comment down below, or a DM)

Word Count: 1,961

TW: None? I’m pretty sure?

Mc didn’t know what she was expecting from the song Satan’s brothers pressured him to play, but a gorgeous melancholic love song was not it, though she should have guessed it was a love song from the title. She was entranced from the first couple notes, and the lyrics pulled her in further. They spoke of someone experiencing love for the first time, though they were afraid of their Love fading away and leaving them. She smiled at the cat lyrics, finding herself not surprised Satan would write about them. He seemed like a cat lover, though she had no real basis for the belief.

 Satan’s singing voice was just as nice as his speaking voice and she found herself impressed. It also held a lot of emotion, enough that she was surprised it didn’t affect his singing. Though she had never heard the song before, it seemed extremely familiar. Though, it was a fairly universal concept, so it probably just seemed she’d heard it before. She hadn’t realized she was crying until Mammon offered her a handkerchief. When he finished, everyone clapped, and he started on another song.

“I never thought I’d hear tha’ song again,” Mammon spoke to Mc in a low voice.

“Why?” she asked.

“Oh… Uhhh… Well, it’s about a lost love of his. Once she… disappeared… He played it one more time and then said he’d never play it again.” 

Mc felt her throat constrict a bit at the revelation, “He must be doing better then. When he got his next… lover, he probably started feeling better.”

“He… Uhhh... '' Mammon floundered for words, and Mc found herself eagerly awaiting his next words, “I don’ think he’s dated anyone before or since her. If nothin’ else, she is his firs’ and only love.”

“Did she hurt him?”

“Huh?”

“I just ask because I’ve seen a lot of people, well, humans, who had relationships go sour and closed themselves off emotionally. I was just wondering if that’s what happened to him.”

“Not… Not exactly… She was human and she… died…” Mammon seemed really anxious at this point, and Mc decided not to push the subject further.

A human? Really? Well, that adds another layer to the song. It’s the most permanent level of “leave” there is. He knew going into the relationship it would end. But… If she had been corrupted enough by him, wouldn’t she have gone to the Devildom? Then they could’ve been together… Does that mean she went to the Celestial Realm? Do I know her? Or… Did she get stuck as a wanderer? Either way, why would he play it now? Mammon said he’d sworn off playing it ever again… The questions swirled around in her head as she watched Satan play.

“Ooooo! Ooooo! My turn!”

“Asmo, you can’t play piano,” Satan sighed, already getting up.

“But I can play music off of my DDD now can’t I?” Asmodeus said, waltzing up to what had become a stage.

As Asmo scrolled through what Mc could only assume was his list of songs, Satan came and stood next to her. Mammon even moved over so he could. Mc gave him a small smile and then turned her attention back to Asmodeus, who was gushing about the song he’d found to sing. She was still thinking about all the unanswered questions she had when she felt a breath next to her ear “What did you think?”

Mc almost jumped, but instead found herself glued to her chair, “Of the song? Or your singing?”

“Hmmm… Both.”

“You play and sing wonderfully. The song was beautiful. I could really feel your emotions.”

“Thank you,” Mc felt Satan retreat back to a standing position, and she found she missed his presence.

A huff from the other side of the room caught her attention. Looking over, she caught the tailend of Michael watching Satan with narrowed eyes before turning back to Asmodeus. How strange.

When Asmodeus finished, Lucifer was both begged and forced to play by those in the room. While Mc had to admit he was definitely in a league all his own, she found herself preferring Satan’s playing to Lucifer’s. She cocked her head slightly at the realization.

“Excellent Lucifer! Just exquisite!” Diavolo boomed, giving the Avatar of Pride a standing ovation, “I can’t remember the last time I heard you play!”

“Well, it has been awhile,” Lucifer smiled. His pride seemed to have recovered enough he could properly interact with people again. Mc was happy she was able to avert a crisis, not interested in finding out how a brawl between Michael and Lucifer would go. Though… Would either of them actually get into a physical altercation?...

Mc was so caught up in her thoughts, she didn’t realize the brothers were leaving until they were all asking if she would come to the House of Lamentation at some point.

“... And I would love to paint your nails,” Asmo prattled on, grabbing her hands, “And I know the Devildom’s lack of light can make your skin lose some of its radiance, but I have a moisturizer that can help with that. Oh and-”

“Asmo, come on! Ya want Mc to come visit or not?” Mammon interrupted,

“Mammon, you don’t understand the nuances of keeping yourself looking perfect.”

“Uh, yes. I do. I’m a model. Ya been smellin’ too many of ya fancy products and it’s melted ya brain?”

“I think you’re thinking of yourself, though it was probably when you were trying to con those witches into buying acid, and you drank some.”

“Oi! How do ya know about that?”

“Ugh, there they go again,” a head rested itself on Mc’s shoulder, and she almost jumped until she saw who it was, “Seriously though Mc. You should come over.”

“Yeah. You’re even welcome to bring Luke,” the one brother who she hadn’t talked to added, “Barbatos told me he’s gotten even better at baking.”

“Of course I’ve gotten better at baking! I’m also very good at cooking too,” Luke said, having joined the conversation.

Mc watched at Beelzebub, which is who she figured he must be through the process of elimination, actually started drooling, “Does that mean you’re actually going to come over then?”

Luke smiled fondly, a look Mc wasn’t sure she’d have ever thought he could have for a demon, “If you’d like Beel, I could probably make that happen.”

Beel rushed over to Luke and pulled him into a huge hug. Belphegor removed himself from Mc, walking over to Beelzebub, “Beel, you need to let go of the chihuahua or he’s going to suffocate. Luke can’t make you food if he’s been squished.”

“I’m sorry. I hope these idiots haven’t been bothering you too much.”

“Not at all Lucifer. They were just inviting me over sometime.”

“Well, I suppose it’s time for us to head out,” Lucifer said, starting to gather his brothers.

“You are welcome anytime you want to come over,” Satan’s voice came from behind her.

“I… Thanks. I would really like that.”

“Satan! We’re leaving.”

“I’m coming Lucifer,” Satan called, rolling his eyes, then back to Mc with a smile, “Bye.”

“Bye,” Mc called after him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mc sat in her room hours later, the events of the evening still running through her head. Though she knew Michael wouldn’t approve, she found herself much more at ease and even happier around them than she did around most angels. There was a non-judgmental kindness they all exuded (well, all except Lucifer) that made her feel like she belonged. She found herself excited about the prospect of spending more time with them at the House of Lamentation. She had to laugh a bit, the fact she didn’t fit in with the rest of the angels never more clear than it was now. 

Simeon had told her his time in the Devildom had been extremely enjoyable, the less structured lifestyles if the Devildom a welcome change from the Celestial Realm. She had read his work from that time and it was obvious he had felt a lot more creative in the Devildom, even though he had school responsibilities at the time. While she hadn’t doubted his words, she had always figured the change was mostly due to the fact he had been able to communicate with his lost brothers again. Now she understood what he had been talking about. 

Simeon generally gets along with the other angels too. What would they all say if they found out I prefer the company of the Fallen to them? Everything is just more natural with them. It’s almost like I already know who they are, as strange as that sounds. Especially Satan, though I’ve felt connected to him since I got his letter. Speaking of which, who was it that he mentioned? Lil… Lilly? Lillah? Lillian? Hmmm… I can’t remember. I do know I’ve never heard that name before. Whoever it was seemed to have a great impact on all of the brothers. It can’t be someone they Fell with. I’ve read all the literature about the Fall and I don’t recognize the name. Though there’s a lot about the Fall the Celestial Realm doesn’t talk about. But... Simeon’s also never mentioned anyone with that name before… Maybe it’s time for me to do some more research.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mc stretched, and checked the time on her DDD. She had been in Diavolo’s personal library for over three hours, and she still hadn’t found any mention of the mysterious “L” person. She found plenty of references to Lucifer though. It seemed he and his brothers had been instrumental in helping Diavolo establish order when the old King had started his slumber. What caused this slumber, why it happened, or if it would end was not covered. Mc wanted to research the topic further, but she couldn’t get distracted until she had answered her initial question.

There was a knock at the door, and Barbatos came in carrying a teacup on a saucer, “I thought you might be in here.”

“Oh, hello Barbatos.”

The butler entered the room, and set the tea down on the table Mc was studying at, “I thought you might like some tea.”

“I would actually, thank you. If you would like to, you can take a seat.”

“I suppose that’d be alright,” Barbatos smiled, and sat down in a chair. His eyes glided across the books strewn around Mc, “You’ve got some heavy reading here.”

“Well, I’m trying to figure something out,” Mc sighed, sipping her tea.

“Perhaps I can be of assistance?”

“Maybe, though I don’t remember what it is I’m looking for exactly,” Barbatos simply cocked his head slightly until she continued, “Satan was telling about… Well, a personal experience, and he mentioned someone. I don’t remember their name, but it was someone very close to all the brothers and they had passed away. I was just trying to figure out who it was.”

“You seem very interested in this person,” Barbatos’ tone wasn’t accusatory, but he seemed to expect and answer.

“... I guess I’m just trying to understand them better. Him better,” The last part slipped from Mc’s mouth easily, surprising even her.

“I think I may know who you’re talking about. If I’m correct, you won’t find any references to her in these books. It’s not my place to explain the situation to you however. You should probably go speak with the brothers about her…” the butler paused for a second before continuing, “I believe Michael also knows a lot about the situation, though he doesn’t know the full story,” with that, he got up and pushed his chair in, “I must continue with my duties, but I appreciate the short reprieve. Good night.”

“Night,” Mc called after him. Huh. Michael knows?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part Fifteen

 I wanted to let you all know that as it is January, ever since 2014 the first moth of the year has been terrible for me. So far, we are 3 days into 2021, and I have already gotten a near constant tooth ache meaning I’m going to have to go to the dentist, and have gotten sick. I don’t know what else this month has in store for me, but I just wanted to warn you all, if my updates get sporadic or short, that’s why 😬 

[nellie-elizabeth]

Queliot Fic Recs - Master Post (March 11, 2020)

Hi everyone! I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, but now that we’re staring down the barrel of the show’s official ending, I thought I’d finally take the time to post a master fic rec list!

A couple of notes:

This is by no means comprehensive; I’m sure I’m forgetting several lovely fics, and will be updating this list as I remember/find more.

This list will not include WIPs (the only exception being where I rec a completed story that is part of a series, and mention that sequel(s) are still in progress). I will add the WIPs I’m reading once they are complete!

I am open to suggestions from others, so please reblog and add your own recommendations! I would love to add to this and make it a one-stop-shop resource for people looking for something new to read.

When I know the tumblr handle of the author, I have included it. But in several cases I don’t know the author’s tumblr, if they have one - if you have this information to fill in, please let me know and I will update the master post. (Also, if you notice any broken links or mistakes - I did my best, but this thing is hefty and I’m sure there are errors!)

This took me… forever to put together, so if you find it useful, please reblog - and more importantly, please leave comments & kudos on the stories you read!

Link to the Google Doc, if that’s easier for you to read.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sIUMZcIcpnZ1_9T3o7dkqUaqEw0miwNTfTuZjvjGto4/edit?usp=sharing

Hefty rec list under the cut.

Season Three Gapfillers/Deviations from Canon

These stories usually deal with the aftermath of the mosaic in some way. Many of them were written before the revelations of 4x05, but some were written later, and either comply with canon, or deviate from it from that point.

shipping it by Mizzy (@mizzy2k). Mature. 16,344 words. The Muntjac “ships” Queliot and is trying to help them along. What else can I say? There’s angst, there’s love, it’s silly and it’s sincere.

Sense Memories by mtothedestiel (@summersteve). Explicit. 2,616 words. This is an ABO fic, which is not something I would typically read. But I love this author so much that I decided to give it a try. The thing I like about it is the idea of the mosaic timeline leaving a tangible, physical impact on Quentin and Eliot, and how they might deal with the fallout in this more extreme scenario. If ABO isn’t for you, though, proceed with caution.

throw your shadow over me by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 8,187 words. Okay I’m going to recommend basically everything peacefrog has written, but this one is probably my favorite. It’s a super angst-y sex scene between Quentin and Eliot during season three, where Eliot believes this is his last chance to be with Quentin, and is basically dreading the emotional fallout even while it’s happening.

i start spinning (slipping out of time) by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Teen. 2,570 words. Before Eliot goes to Margo to discuss the god-killing bullet, he and Quentin have a conversation about Quentin’s choice to stay at Blackspire. Features a heartbreaking memory of their life together at the mosaic, and just generally gorgeous canon-compliant angst.

Promises by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Explicit. 7,751 words. Eliot and Quentin have it out about Quentin’s decision to stay in Blackspire, and hash out their feelings for each other. This one is canon-divergent (and is probably the one-shot I am the most proud of!)

Overthinking It by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Teen. 3,581 words. Eliot finds out about the abyss key, and it prompts a discussion about Quentin and Eliot’s relationship.

Honey You’re On Fire, Let Me Help by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 5,857 words. Quentin accidentally picks up the abyss key… Eliot finds him and does what he can to distract him. This is hot, of course, but also so desperately full of feeling and love. As the summary implies, there is a good deal of depression and talk of suicide in this story, so take care.

Can’t Let Go by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 5,384 words. UGH. This is what SHOULD have happened after Eliot and Quentin remember the mosaic time-line. This is so satisfying and gave me some catharsis in the aftermath of the direction the story has taken in canon.

~~~~~

Post-Season Four Fix-Its

These stories maintain the canon of season four, and continue on from there. They generally involve bringing Quentin back from the dead.

What Matter Where by achray. Explicit. 28,782 words. Eliot becomes Prince Consort of the Underworld. He gets to be with Q when he’s back home, though. This is almost tough to read, because my brain doesn’t want to accept any half-happy endings, any reality where Eliot can’t spend all of his time by Quentin’s side. But on the other hand… Eliot has to make a big, big sacrifice to bring Quentin back, and you definitely feel the gravitas of that.

life ain’t fair (so i guess we’d better cheat) by micksgotkicks (@lovelyquentin). Teen. 1,137 words. This is more of a pre-fix-it. Eliot rages against the heavens for taking Quentin from him, and resolves to get him back. Short and painful. Cathartic.

Being Alive by miss_whimsy (@bambiesque). Gen. 7,022 words. Eliot sends the letter to Quentin with the magical stamp. And when that doesn’t work, he sends a bunch more. This is one of the very few fics on this list that has any connection to season five canon, which I’m not watching. I did watch 5x03, however, and this fic is borne out of Eliot Waugh never giving up - the way we all know it should have gone.

What kind of man (loves like this)? by destielpasta (@queliotpasta). Explicit. 3,160 words. Eliot and Quentin go out dancing. This fic has a certain quality about it that’s difficult to describe - I could just really feel their love for each other jump off the page, specifically in how badly they clearly want to care for each other. This fic also straddles the line between categories - the author describes it as a “fix-it” and it does deal with Quentin’s resurrection in a more immediate way, but the subject matter itself is much more about the aftermath, rather than the actual “bringing Q back from the dead” part.

You’re a Story (I Can Follow) by Page161of180. Mature. 19,695 words. I think everyone’s read this, but how could I not include it? This technically isn’t a fix-it, because it was written before the season four finale confirmed the theory of Quentin’s death. This author, like the collective fandom, assumed that death would be temporary… and thus, this is the story of Eliot being the Orpheus to Quentin’s Eurydice. It is stunning - a gold standard in writing intense grief with a happy ending. Eliot is undone by Quentin’s death here, and has to fight through obstacle after obstacle to get him back - the biggest one being, his own lack of self-worth. There’s also a somewhat-connected sequel/prequel called And Remember What You Were Before (Not Rated, 6,998 words), which is completely worth the read.

(like a perfect picture) in a broken frame by PanBoleyn (@eidetictelekinetic). Not Rated. 20,631 words. Another resurrection/fix-it fic… Really great group dynamics as everyone works on bringing Quentin back, but also a focus on Eliot’s despair. Kind of your standard fix-it, exactly what the characters should have tried to do, in a world where canon hadn’t betrayed us so badly.

life fades (but you remain) by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 62,735. Stunning. STUNNING. Eliot finds a way to get Quentin back, but it comes at a cost. The two of them have to work it out. This features some incredibly good angst with a happy ending, scorching sex, a really intriguing OC in an early chapter, and some nice screen-time for the lovely Alice Quinn, to boot.

as it was by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Mature. 3,913 words. Short and sweet - Penny-40 leads Quentin to where he needs to go, and that’s back home to Eliot.

In the Woods Somewhere by pineapplecrushface (@pineapplecrushface). Explicit. 15,528 words. This is the most creative take on a fix-it I’ve seen! The summary outlines the premise best: “Alice being unable to wipe younger Quentin's memory during the timeshare spell had a ripple effect.” Eliot is so desperate for Quentin in this one, and Quentin, from the afterlife, is having to work out how he feels and where he wants to be.

In Which We Grieve by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Teen. 3,413 words. I hesitate to call this a “fix-it” really, since Quentin doesn’t come back to life. But despite that, he and Eliot make it work. This is sad, but cathartic too.

(this is not a) Temporary Love by rizcriz (@sadlittlenerdking). Teen. 20,684 words. A fix-it that includes some intense mosaic feels too, as Margo and Eliot read over some letters/notes written during the mosaic timeline. I also like this one for how the rest of the gang finally notices how sick and worn-down Quentin is, and forces Q and Eliot to take a mental health vacation once Quentin is back in the land of the living!

~~~~~

Post-Season Four/Post-Possession - Not Fix-Its

These stories take place after the events of season four, or, in some cases, after an imagined ending of season four (written before the series finale aired), ignoring season five canon. They are not fix-its in the sense that either a) they ignore Quentin’s death in canon and proceed like it never happened, or b) Quentin’s resurrection happened “off-screen” and is not the focus of the story. These fics often deal with the aftermath, both physical and psychological, of Eliot’s possession. They also usually deal with Quentin and Eliot’s reconciliation after the events of seasons three and four, and sometimes continue through their time as an established couple.

your body (your heart) in his hands by Allegria23 (@allegria23). Explicit. 18,636 words. This fic follows Eliot and Quentin into their future. I’m recommending it specifically for the way it deals with Quentin’s discipline - I’ve never seen a fic tackle the subject in quite this way, and with so much care and gentleness. If you are not a fan of kid!fic, don’t be put off by the premise - Eliot and Quentin are great fathers with amazing kids in this future universe, but the focus really does remain on their romance. This story is part of a series called second time around which is all worth a read, especially the latest part, entitled The Special Dish. The whole series really embodies the romance of effort, and how putting in the time to nurture and grow a relationship is what makes it work.

Be still my foolish heart (i’m almost me again) by Butterfly (@butterflydm). Explicit. 3,754 words. A birthday fic for Quentin - he’s a little overwhelmed by the party held in his honor. He sneaks off to be alone, Eliot follows him, and Q tells Eliot about his discipline.

Living Room, NY by cartographies (@honeybabydichotomy). Teen. 11,254 words. Eliot goes to therapy. I’m recc’ing this specifically for Eliot’s rambling confession of love to Quentin in chapter two. The whole thing is lovely, but that part really knocked me the fuck out.

Imagine being loved by me. by destielpasta (@queliotpasta). Explicit. 11,225 words. Holy moly. This is a top-tier fave for me. It’s about sex, it’s about love, it’s about working through a relationship after trauma. Eliot is touch-starved but can’t be touched - so Quentin and Eliot must get creative.

Yes and Yes and Maybe Yes by hetrez (@hetrez). Mature. 5,542 words. The author describes this as “consent porn, with feelings,” and that’s a pretty good descriptor. Quentin has PTSD because of the Monster, and Eliot’s touch can be triggering for him. They work together to get through it. This is hot, yes, but it’s hot specifically because of how badly Eliot wants to take care of Quentin and make him feel safe.

The Dreamers by hetrez (@hetrez). Teen. 10,143 words. Post-possession, Quentin and Eliot are together but things aren’t smooth sailing. The scene from this story that always sticks in my head is Quentin asking Eliot if he wants to have a family again, like they did before with Arielle and Teddy - and Eliot’s horrifically wrong-footed response: “You’ll get a wife again and we’ll have another baby.” As might be predicted, Quentin doesn’t take that very well… and this story is at least partially working out where they stand, what they both want.

The Drum Beats Out of Time by HMGFanfic (@hmgfanfic). Mature. 68,605 words. This series features two stories: Suitcase of Memories and I Fall Behind. Both are amazing, but I Fall Behind in particular is one of my top-tier favorite fics in the whole fandom. This fic does not pull its punches in terms of the effects of Eliot’s possession, and it makes things really rough for Quentin and Eliot’s relationship. Quentin does a reckless thing, Eliot panics, they hash it out - but it’s not easy, and it’s not so clear-cut. These fics also features glimpses of their life together at the mosaic, and a lovely epilogue that shows how they’ve made progress and are still healing as a couple.

the right time and place by impossibletruths (@impossibletruths). Teen. 3,675 words. Eliot trying to propose to Quentin. It’s sweet and fluffy and good for the soul.

hearts like houses by impossibletruths (@impossibletruths). Explicit. 11,888 words. Quentin and Eliot celebrate Eliot’s birthday, post-possession. They get away for a trip, to try and put their worries behind them. This story is full of so much intimacy and gentleness that it just melts my whole heart.

five times my writing was better than the magicians by micksgotkicks (@lovelyquentin). Teen. 6,019 words. These are just… soft. It’s five different short fics, all with slight variations on the simple concept of Quentin and Eliot reuniting post-possession. There’s no intensive deep-dive, nothing too grim or challenging. It’s just the two of them finding their way to each other again and again. Very healing to read, in light of canon’s (inferior) version of reality.

struck from a great height by mtothedestiel (@summersteve). Explicit. 4,517 words. “Life affirming sex” is the most telling tag on this thing. Post-possession, Eliot and Quentin find their way into each other’s arms. Really hot sex, lots of feelings… everything we deserved at the end of the Monster story-line.

And So Lift Your Spirits by OrchardsinSnow (@orchardsinsnow). Explicit. 3,437 words. This was one of the first fics I remember reading in the aftermath of my desperate post-season four feelings, and it hit the spot in the best way. Eliot’s POV - he loves Quentin, but has doubts that he’s actually deserving of something so wonderful, that Quentin could really reciprocate and want to stay. Quentin finds an insanely hot, insanely romantic way to reassure him.

Ten Twenty-Eight by Page161of180. Not Rated. 5,974 words. This is slice-of-life about Quentin Coldwater and how he’s spent Eliot’s birthday, October 28, over the years. It’s told through notes from the Library branch of the Underworld, with added comments from Alice and Penny. It’s weird, but rewarding. I love the record-keeping aspect. This author has a real gift for outsider POV, and this is one of my favorites!

Nights and Mornings by Page161of180. Mature. 6,734 words. Two connected stories, in the aftermath of possession. Quentin doesn’t die, but he does still get back together with Alice, a la 4x12. These stories deal with Eliot’s thoughts on that, and… spoiler… Quentin/Alice is just not meant to be. Quentin makes a different choice.

The Honor of Your Presence by Page161of180. Mature. 18,117 words. Quentin and Eliot get married, and we hear the story from three different POVs… Todd, Rafe, and Marina 23. Random? Yes. Brilliant? Also yes. I love how each POV has a different and distinct literary style. And how even the people who aren’t closest to Quentin and Eliot can see how insanely in love they are with each other.

The Wanting Then, the Needing Now by Page161of180. Not rated. 3,799 words. Alice’s POV, as Eliot is saved from possession, and Quentin falls apart. Basically, Alice realizes where Quentin really belongs. I love the way this author does justice to Quentin’s love for Alice - it’s not a footnote, it’s not an insignificant blip. It’s real, and that doesn’t invalidate the fact that Quentin chooses Eliot. This has a much longer sequel which is also very good - but that story is more Alice-centric and not really focused on Queliot as much, even though they definitely play a part.

Lay Me Down (Pockets Full of Stones) by PanBoleyn (@eidetictelekinetic). Not Rated. 10,024 words. Post-possession, Eliot realizes how badly Quentin has been dealing with things. He’s angry at their friends for not keeping a better eye out - but all that matters right now is finding Quentin and making sure he’s alright. I love this story for how messy their reunion is - how all of their feelings just come spilling out of them without finesse.

(one kiss) it all comes down to this by PanBoleyn (@eidetictelekinetic). Not Rated. 6,391 words. True Love’s Kiss… the boys need to talk about their feelings, and a curse forces the issue. This is so entirely my jam.

box of chocolates by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Mature. 9,256 words. This short series begins with the Teen-rated for love (if it finds you worthy) and features Eliot asking Quentin to be his valentine. Because Quentin and Eliot are… Quentin and Eliot, it still takes them a little while to get their shit together, after that.

when lips and skin remember by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 6,163 words. This is for the monthly prompt challenge - “blindfolds” and features Quentin helping Eliot through some sensory issues, post-Monster possession.

an end (but the start of all things that are left to do) by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 2,388 words. Birthday smut! Q is alive and gets a blowjob, as the universe requires.

the one with the dog by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 80,517 words. If you haven’t already read this series, what are you waiting for?? It is IDEAL for soothing the soul. Eliot and Quentin deal with the aftermath of their trauma, both physical and mental. They hang out at the condo in New York, they take care of an adorable dog named Lady Desdemona, they have lots of hot sex of course. They heal. Every single one of the twelve stories in this series is worth reading, but my favorites are probably (this is) the beat of my heart (Explicit, 11,700 words), Five Card Draw (Explicit, 3,531 words), all the way home I’ll be warm (Explicit, 15,640 words), and Come What May (Teen, 3,352 words).

5 Scenes from a Road Trip by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 16,218 words. In the aftermath of season four (sans Quentin’s death), the boys need a change of scenery to begin healing and finding their way back to one another. I love how this fic shows their closeness, and how the boundaries of their relationship often defy description. They love each other beyond sex, beyond conventional romance - although they achieve those things, too, as they definitely deserve.

did you know my baby loves me? by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 7,776 words. Quentin tops Eliot on his birthday. What it says on the tin. But as always with this author, even something that should be ostensibly a PWP is filled with so much feeling and love that you could just drown in it.

To Learn to Be Again by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 18,295 words. “I don’t think- I can’t be anyone’s boyfriend right now, Eliot.” Eliot loves Quentin, Quentin loves Eliot, but that’s not always enough to give them a happily ever after. Quentin goes to therapy, deals with his trauma and his mental health, and Eliot is right there beside him with no expectations. This is so, so lovely and every ounce of their happiness feels earned and all the more precious for the pain that’s mixed up with it.

do not go gentle by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 10,260 words. This is almost a fix-it, in that Quentin imagines the events of 4x13, but they don’t actually happen. So be warned if any depiction of Quentin’s death is a trigger for you. I love the way this story deals with the Alice of it all, and also the way Quentin and Eliot talk through their situation and find a way back to each other once again. (Also shower sex happens). This author has written multiple versions of this same reconciliation, but each one is so lovely and I’ll never get sick of it.

the strange act of living by propinquitous (@propinquitous). Explicit. 13,632 words. So there are a lot of fics out there that deal with the aftermath of Eliot’s possession of course. A lot of fics that feature Eliot and Quentin slowly, painfully, finding a way to reconcile. This one holds a special place in my heart for this particular moment, where Quentin walks past Eliot without saying anything, grabs a muffin from the counter, and leaves the room. Later, Q finds Eliot crying in the shower, and Eliot asks him why he just left, taking the food Eliot had made for him, and then ignoring him. That one moment has stuck with me ever since I read the fic, and I keep coming back to it. In all, this captures a very specific kind of hurt that both Quentin and Eliot are feeling, and gets them on the path to healing. Gorgeous.

the safety of others by propinquitous (@propinquitous). Teen. 8,122 words. Quentin doesn’t die in 4x13, but he does get injured. And Eliot keeps vigil. This is - so powerful. I don’t even know how to describe it. Just read it, please.

Magic Curses by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Explicit. 134,886 words. This series includes six stories, each dealing with Quentin and Eliot’s relationship as they undergo external threats from creative and somewhat evil magical curses. It’s my attempt to write in some more hurt/comfort to the fandom, and also to indulge in some established-relationship goodness! The first story, Lover’s Touch (Explicit, 24,781 words), is summarized thusly: “Q gets cursed, and Alice can’t help. Magic forces Q and Eliot to cuddle and talk about their feelings.”

Coming Home by rizcriz (@sadlittlenerdking). Not Rated. 2,958 words. Short and sweet. The author succinctly describes this as: “Eliot gets to be brave.” And he does. He says the thing he wants to say to Quentin, and Q eventually believes him.

Enough by SabbyStarlight. Teen. 2,746 words. This was written just before 4x13 came out. If only if only this is how it had gone instead… basically just Quentin and Eliot talking about their feelings, negotiating their relationship.

Boyfriend by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Teen. 6,727 words. Quentin is sensitive about the fact that Eliot isn’t introducing him as his boyfriend. This is just… the sweetest. I love that there’s some jealousy and insecurity, but it’s a manageable, reasonable type - Eliot and Quentin are able to talk about it and get past this small bump in the road.

Hunger by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 4,327 words. Quentin gets a birthday blowjob. The end. :)

~~~~~

Mosaic Timeline

These stories are ones that take place almost or entirely within the mosaic timeline - both in keeping with, and in deviation from, what we see in 3x05.

help me hold onto you by ameliajessica (@ameliajessica). Explicit. 14,768 words. This one will hurt your heart, but it’s so rewarding. Featuring Eliot being ridiculously turned on by talking about feelings during sex… and Quentin loving Eliot while grieving for Arielle.

‘Cause my baby’s sweet as can be by destielpasta (@queliotpasta). Teen. 645 words. Tiny fic - maybe the shortest one on the list. Quentin and Eliot are bad at talking about their feelings. Who’s surprised?

flowing all this time by mtothedestiel (@summersteve). Explicit. 5,488 words. This is one of those fics where Arielle isn’t an obstacle for the boys… but rather, Eliot is an obstacle for Quentin and Arielle, in a way. It has some bittersweet moments, but I love how much Eliot loves Quentin here. This is also (spoiler) the rare fic where Arielle chooses to leave, rather than dying.

a cure i know (that soothes the soul) by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 4,857 words. Little snippets of Quentin and Eliot’s life through the years at the mosaic. Recc’ing especially for middle-aged Queliot, which we see all too little of in this fandom!

measure in love by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 51,827 words. This is a series about Quentin, Eliot, and Arielle’s lives together at the mosaic. I don’t know if the author plans to write more in this series or not, but each one can stand alone. I am particularly enamored with The Ways We Fit Together (Explicit, 11,661 words), which is summarized succinctly as “sex and love in the mosaic timeline”, and You Steer My Heart (Explicit, 25,217 words), which follows Eliot’s mindset as he watches Quentin and Arielle fall in love with each other, while Quentin and Eliot continue to love each other as well. It’s stunning, and probably my favorite take on the three of them and their polyamorous relationship. This series has everything - the best combination of smut and feelings you could hope for.

Running All This Time by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Explicit. 179,478 words.The story of the mosaic timeline, built on the foundation of love and communication. To my knowledge, the only completed mosaic long-fic in the fandom thus far! Includes Fillorian nonsense, a quest within a quest, plenty of sex, lots of hurt/comfort, a different take on Arielle, and happy endings for everyone.

Reciprocal by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Teen. 8,259. Eliot is an idiot about his feelings (what else is new?), and he tries to make things better in the worst possible way. This fic imagines a world where Eliot and Quentin find happiness together without Arielle as a part of their romantic/sexual lives.

my heart is thrilled by the still of your hand by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 9,586 words. This is the porn-iest version of “Quentin and Eliot don’t know how to talk about their feelings.” Basically, the boys keep jerking off next to each other in bed, and they don’t talk about it because they’re IDIOTS.

you know that’s my love (bursting loud from inside) by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 11,904 words. Another fic where Arielle decides to leave. Eliot is so good at taking care of his family.

tomorrow past tonight by vegansheilseitan. Explicit. 7,676 words. Okay - if you’re only going to read one gap-filler for 3x05, that’s basically just the missing sex scene and nothing else, make it this one. It’s hot, and it’s aching with everything Quentin and Eliot aren’t saying to each other. This is one of my absolute favorites.

~~~~~

Brakebills Alternate Universe / Season One

These stories are generally, but not always, pure relationship fics where the plot concerns of canon (i.e. the Beast, and time loops) do not exist, and instead Quentin and Eliot get to be magical grad students together, and fall in love.

Every Blessed Thing by achray. Explicit. 7,795 words. Quentin turns himself invisible. This fic is complex in how Alice and Quentin’s relationship is portrayed, and the resolution isn’t clear-cut. I really like this characterization of both Quentin and Eliot.

saturate the atmosphere (wake me from a dream) by Allegria23 (@allegria23). Explicit. 7,394 words. This is some good ol’ sexy times with a healthy dash of feelings. Eliot involuntarily levitates them while Quentin’s giving him a blowjob, so… that’s honestly all you need to know about this one. Go give it a read.

i feel it in my body, know it in my mind by ameliajessica (@ameliajessica). Mature. 11,817 words. Let’s pretend that this is what happened in 1x03, okay? Kady doesn’t interrupt when Eliot pours Q a drink, and sex ensues. I love how flabbergasted Eliot is by everything that happens - especially his reaction to the news that Quentin isn’t straight, and isn’t going to be squeamish at the thought of sleeping with a man. So hot, so cute.

if being him is who you are / say it loud say you know you are by ameliajessica (@ameliajessica). Mature. 5,293 words. Okay, holy shit. Mike’s POV - he decides that he and Eliot should have a threesome with Quentin, so Eliot can get it out of his system. Uh. Yeah, that backfires. Poor Mike. But also - the sex in this is the epitome of tenderness and love. Eliot is so careful with Quentin, so awed and desperate and shaky at the chance to be with him. There is a sequel in the works, too, so watch out for that!

Hedonism for Beginners by ceeainthereforthat (@ceeainthereforthat). Explicit. 20,730 words. A series of filthy sex, basically. Eliot is teaching Quentin about what he likes in bed. I don’t know if the series is abandoned or not, but in any case, each of these works on its own as a PWP but with a deep undercurrent of feelings.

Something Good by HMGFanfic (@hmgfanfic). Teen. 162,260 words. The Gold Standard slow-burn rom-com AU! Seriously, I know everyone’s read this, but if you haven’t for some reason… please do. The slow-burn is so slow you’ll be tearing your hair out by the end, but it’s all worth it when you get to the catharsis. How oblivious can Quentin be about Eliot’s feelings? This fic asks and answers that question, and the answer is - very. There are also two fics that accompany the main story: Someone Good (Eliot’s POV of the main story) and Somewhere Good (future one-shots of Quentin and Eliot’s life together). Both are on hiatus but the author plans to return to them. You can read the existing chapter of each without feeling like anything is unfinished, though.

Not Always Folly by HMGFanfic (@hmgfanfic). Explicit. 262,583 words. Another amazing romantic… comedy? but this one is from Eliot’s POV and is in some ways more a character study of Eliot Waugh than it is simply a romance. Although the romance… you guys… the pining levels are off the charts. Eliot ends up hurting Quentin, and really everyone else he cares about, in this story, but he puts in the work to make it right. I admire this fic for diving deep into Eliot’s psyche while also delivering on an amazing slow-burn of a different sort. Bonus points for Alice and Eliot getting to be friends like they deserve!

Be kind by longnationalnightmare. Explicit. 10,069 words. It’s the highest kudo’d fic in the fandom! I assume that means you’ve all read it? This is a PWP, but I love it specifically for how much Eliot loses his usual control when he’s with Quentin.

to be unbroken or be brave again. by milominderbinder (@disasterbiquentin). Teen. 14,135 words. Hey, it’s a 10 Things I Hate About You AU! Kind of! Josh asks Quentin to pretend to date Eliot to cheer him up after a breakup, so that Margo will go out with Josh. But Q tells Eliot what’s up right away - so they’re fake dating but real feelings happen. Super cheesy, of course, but it hits the spot!

in the world full wrong (you’re the thing that’s right) by Mizzy (@Mizzy2k). Explicit. 5,307 words. Eliot tries to hook up with Quentin Coldwater and gets more than he bargained for. I love this for how matter-of-fact Quentin is, about the fact that Eliot wants to seduce him… and then hpw he ends up doing some seducing of his own.

If You Haven’t Yet by OrchardsinSnow (@orchardsinsnow). Explicit. 5,828 words. Obviously we all love confident Eliot Waugh totally rocking Quentin’s world… but I have a soft spot for oddly confident Quentin who really knows what he’s doing, and this fic has the perfect blend of both dynamics. The best part is Quentin slowly and methodically undressing Eliot and not letting him help. It’s… whew. *fans self*

the heat that drives the light by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 9,296 words. Quentin and Eliot have an antagonistic relationship, until Eliot realizes Quentin might be what he’s looking for in a sexual partner. Sub Eliot, new-to-being-a-Dom Quentin. Super hot.

it started out with a kiss (how did it end up like this) by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 7,896 words. In the aftermath of a bad breakup, Quentin and Eliot find their way to each other. This is super amazing all on its own, but the author is also working on a sequel that I’m really enjoying thus far. Either story could probably be read without the other, too.

the bridge between us by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 16,201 words. Dom Eliot, Sub Quentin. Quentin and Eliot navigate their BDSM sex life, but also their feelings. Eliot is so tender and soft with Q, and Q learns to take care of Eliot in return. This is one of my absolute favorites from this author. Also, as a note, there’s a “prequel” to this fic called paint it red (Explicit, 7,197 words) that could totally be read as a separate piece, but is worth checking out as the origin story of how these two got together and started shaping their dynamics, sexual and otherwise.

(Everyone Has) That Drawer by ProofOfConcept and wilddragonflying. Explicit. 5,782 words. Eliot finds Quentin’s stash of sex toys. It’s enough to get him to finally act on their mutual, unspoken attraction. Hot!

Wake Me Up by rizcriz (@sadlittlenerdking). Not Rated. 4,000 words. Quentin has sleep apnea, but Eliot doesn’t know that… and he gets a little - alarmed. This is objectively an odd premise, but it’s incredibly sweet. rizcriz has about a million stories and I’ve read a lot of them, but I’m a fan of the ones like this, that take a specific concept and run with it, sort of like slice-of-life. Check out more of their work, though, I can’t possibly put them all on the list!

Migraine Mastery by SabbyStarlight. Not rated. 2,012 words. Short and sweet - Quentin has a migraine and Eliot helps.

Between Friends by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 15,019 words. This is the quintessential (Quentin-sential?) Brakebills get-together fic. It’s a party, Quentin and Eliot end up going to bed together… both of them are a little uncertain about what this means, but they work it out. Recc’ing for the hot sex, but even more for the “wake up in the middle of the night to have a tender round two without talking about what it means” sex.

Sex Magic by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 42,006 words. Uhh… what it says on the tin. Every one of these is scorching, but my favorite is probably the first one: How Easy You Are To Need.

All Of You A Verb In Perfect View by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 6,398 words. PWP where Eliot distracts Quentin while he tries to do his homework.

You Can Devastate Me by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 9,018 words. Marqueliot sex scene - Quentin and Eliot are a couple, but Margo is running the show. Just… hot, but of course Eliot’s love for Quentin still permeates the whole piece. So much tenderness, with so much filth.

~~~~~

Alternate Universe (No Magic)

So many of these seem so completely random in premise, but they’re all amazing!

Our Sublime Refrain by destielpasta (@queliotpasta) and mtothedestiel (@summersteve). Explicit. 233,929 words. It’s 1836, Eliot is a pianist. This one is Marqueliot, y’all, and let me tell you - it is a journey. If you are somewhat put off by the idea of an AU so far removed from canon, about a topic you know very little about… please give this a try. I was a little hesitant too, but I promise it will not disappoint.

Pretty Good Year by Hth (@spiders-hth-is-an-outlier). Explicit. 175,728 words. I’m not going to lie - this is a difficult fic for me. It’s stunning, but getting through it was an incredibly emotional, challenging journey. While many fics in this fandom deal with Quentin’s mental illness, I’ve never seen a fic talk about it quite like this one. That’s not to put you off from trying it if you haven’t already - this is one of the most achingly real stories I’ve ever read, and it will reward you for giving it a chance.

opening doors by impossibletruths (@impossibletruths). Mature. 52,230 words. Quentin is a playwright! Eliot is an associate director who used to act! This is a slow-ish burn, and the worldbuilding of the characters in a theatrical setting is so fun!

couch party verse by marcel. Mature. 33,725 words. These two stories feature Quentin, Eliot, and the rest of the gang at a non-magical grad school. The thing I love about these stories is how slow and realistic the escalation of the relationship feels. It’s not a hot hookup right away - they clearly like each other, but circumstances sometimes get in the way, and there’s also no big rush to the finish line. This is a softer, gentler universe that still has its own realism and trauma, too. I hope the author chooses to add to it someday!

Saltwater by mtothedestiel (@summersteve). Explicit. 35,560 words. It’s a pirate AU! What more could you possibly need to know? I love how all of the characters and locations are cleverly repurposed here - the Whitespire and Our Lady Underground are ships, Quentin is a ship’s doctor, Eliot is a captain, etc. And the slowburn between Quentin and Eliot is masterful. This is actually a series - part one is complete, and part two is in progress.

A (Gingerbread) House that we can Build by mtothedestiel (@summersteve), with art by eliotsvests (surprisegents). Explicit. 28,189 words. I am not a cheesy Christmas movie person, and I am not a kid!fic person. So I thought this might not be the story for me, at first. But I’m so glad I clicked on it - this is a story about second chances, and finding happiness when you aren’t even looking for it. And I love the way little Teddy is written here. He’s got all the sweetness of Quentin Coldwater’s son, without tilting over into being saccharine. This is just the right amount of sweet if you want to put yourself back in the holiday spirit.

I’ll Follow My Secret Heart by OrchardsinSnow (@orchardsinsnow). Mature. 17,613 words. I don’t really know how to describe this one… it’s weird! It’s a meet cute, Eliot gets in an accident, there’s a blizzard, bed (floor) sharing so as to prevent freezing to death, Eliot is kinda famous and Quentin doesn’t know. All I can say is, this is precious, and odd, and I got totally swept up in the world.

I Need You So Much Closer by OrchardsinSnow (@orchardsinsnow). Explicit. 14,436 words. I love this story. Eliot is a musician, he and Quentin are exes from years ago, who fell apart because of Eliot’s alcoholism. But he’s sober now, and he’s touring where Quentin lives - so they reconnect. Eliot calls Quentin the “smoke show love of [his] life” at one point in this fic, and that phrase just… stuck with me in the best way. Don’t miss the mini-sequel, You Need Me So Much Closer (Explicit, 3,874 words), either. I really hope the author writes more in this universe!

Experimentation by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 4,812 words. PWP where Eliot meets Quentin at a sex shop and Eliot teaches him what he’s into. Hot hot hot.

(i just might) remember that night by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 4,732 words. This might be crack, I don’t know. There are dick pics, and it’s silly, but also Quentin and Eliot feel this amazing connection to each other right off the bat, and that is honestly my jam.

and if tomorrow it’s all over (at least we had it for a moment) by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 45,461 words. Quentin and Eliot were a couple in high school, but they haven’t seen each other in years. They run into each other again at Julia’s wedding, and everything comes rushing back. I like the fact that this fic features very little (if any) angst. The idea is that these two people missed out on their chance to be together, but they haven’t been desperately pining for years. But once they’re back in a room together… their connection is undeniable. Also, the sex is great.

hold me like a (liar) lover does by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart) with art by Doomkitty25. Explicit. 80,812 words. A holiday fic! Fake dating! Mutual pining! So tropey and excellent. Really hot sex, as is the norm for this author! Warning for Alice being something of a villain in this piece, although there’s a potential reconciliation implied right at the end. I love this fic for going beyond just the romance, and also telling a story about Quentin and Eliot’s careers, and what they want out of their lives - in terms of romance, yes, but in terms of their work lives as well.

Ask Me, I Won’t Say No by vegansheilseitan. Explicit. 22,616 words. A… pub trivia AU? Which is a thing I didn’t know I needed? Mostly this is about widower!Quentin, with a kid, meeting Eliot Waugh. They fall in love. The sex in this is incendiary, but the growing relationship between these two is what really makes it worth the read.

~~~~~

Alternate Universe (With Magic)

These stories feature roughly the same worldbuilding as the show’s canon, but the character’s journeys deviate significantly. Maybe Quentin and Eliot don’t meet at Brakebills, or their journey to getting there is different in some other way!

fire and life by everytuesday. Teen. 7,060 words. This is a high school AU, where Eliot discovers his magic, and accidentally kills his father. Quentin helps him to bury the body. It’s a little bit dark, obviously, given that description… so take care.

First Year by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Mature. 11,957 words. Quentin is a Brakebills student, who also happens to be a sylph from Fillory. He has wings, and Eliot is more than a little intrigued. The author may have plans to write a sequel!

push me (further than i thought i could go) by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 15,036 words. Quentin and Eliot meet at a game of Push, and then have their own private contest later on. Mostly recommending this one for the sex, but also for Confident Quentin Coldwater, and for the fact that no matter the circumstances, these boys are gone for each other pretty much right away.

Hedges, Bitch by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 56,568 words. This series has four works, the longest “main” story of which, theón kai andrón, is another personal favorite of mine. It features Eliot as the leader of a coven of hedge witches, and Quentin as a magical novice who didn’t make it into Brakebills. I love the dynamic between Quentin and Eliot in these stories, as they fall naturally into a dom/sub relationship, but Eliot works to make sure the power differential between them doesn’t adversely affect things, either on the job, or in their personal lives. Eliot is just so soft for Quentin in these stories, while also admiring him and depending on him as the gang gets themselves caught up in a dangerous threat to hedges all over the world.

~~~~~

Fillory/Royalty

These stories are sometimes canon deviations, and usually deal with Eliot as the High King, and his relationship with Quentin from there.

oh this is us, this is love and this is where I sleep by buckybunnyteeth. Explicit. 4,360 words. Quentin is jealous of Idri! Eliot is way, way too delighted about it. Really hot. I probably shouldn’t be as charmed by jealous!Quentin as I am. But this is amazing.

Make a list of things you need by longnationalnightmare. Explicit. 10,264 words. Eliot and Quentin are getting married, but Eliot’s okay with keeping it platonic. Quentin… is not. Hot, hot, hot.

i’d be the last shred of truth (in the lost myth of true love) by milominderbinder (@disasterbiquentin), with art by gilestel. Eliot and Margo are made the High Kings of Fillory, and then later Eliot meets a cute Brakebills professor Quentin Coldwater, who is staying at Whitespire for research. There’s a truth curse! Eliot is set to marry Idri, but uh-oh, feelings happen! Tropey as hell, super cute.

and this is the map of my heart by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 14,033 words. Eliot is High King, and he is expected to marry. Quentin magnanimously offers himself for the position, and of course there’s angst about that. And scorching hot sex. And Eliot struggling to be emotionally vulnerable. One of my absolute favorites from the author.

whitespire by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 1,529 words. Eliot sits on his throne, Quentin drops to his knees and calls him “Your Majesty.” So… yeah. Yum.

~~~~~

Brian and Nigel

This is an area where more content needs to exist! Send me a note if there are some I’ve missed.

A Little Disguised, or a Little Mistaken by Page161of180. Mature. 17,807 words. Brian and Nigel find each other, and fall in love. This is gorgeous. Quentin and Eliot are recognizably themselves, but also just different enough that when their real selves start poking through the memory wipe, you can feel the change coming. Another story where canon comes along and steals happiness right out from under them. They were so close!

Shine Through My Memory by PanBoleyn (@eidetictelekinetic). Mature. 61,311 words. This one starts as a fic about Brian and Nigel meeting and falling in love… and then the Monster still possesses Nigel/Eliot, and the events of season four continue from there. But with memories of Brian and Nigel’s love in Quentin’s head, things play out a little differently. We follow the story all the way through to Eliot getting saved by Margo and Quentin, and the reconciliation/reunion afterwards. This fic has a little of everything, and it’s really the only re-telling of season four I’ve seen that covers the canon plot while adding something new and unique to the story!

Reaching in the Dark by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Mature. 53,040 words. Eliot remembers who he is, but Quentin thinks he’s Brian. Eliot and Alice work together to protect Quentin from the Monster. This is so complex and difficult and sad and challenging, and when you reach the end, you’ll feel so frustrated about how close they were to figuring their shit out. But ultimately, canon comes back to snatch that happy ending away.

~~~~~

Other

The few fics that I couldn’t categorize neatly into any of the above sections.

So It May As Well Be Me by achray. Explicit. 14,596 words. There was only one bed. Trapped in a closet. Sex pollen. Sex magic rituals. Every fanfic trope becomes manifest. Quentin seems oblivious; Eliot is freaking out. This is just the epitome of fun.

our place in the family of things by greywash, with art by yourtinseltinkerbell (@yourtinseltinkerbell). Explicit. 208,582 words. This is sort of a Brakebills AU, I suppose, but it takes place after Eliot has graduated. Quentin comes to visit over the holidays. So here’s the thing about greywash’s prose - they are stunning. They are dense, and complex, and almost hard to read - but I mean that as the highest compliment. This story, and really all of this author’s work, rewards careful study. This story has so, so much to offer. So if you haven’t given it a shot, or you’re intimidated by the length, please give it a try. Featuring Eliot’s complex relationship with his mother, with religion, with his sexuality, with Quentin, with Margo. Featuring a story of queer love that transcends time and convention. Featuring some excellent worldbuilding, especially as concerns Quentin’s family, and Eliot’s career. Featuring beautiful accompanying artwork. Featuring a proposal scene that knocked me the fuck out. Featuring love, in every way.

To Give You Hope and a Future by Page161of180. Not rated. 4,374 words. I couldn’t put this in the fix-it category, or in the mosaic category, or really even in the post-season four category. It’s all and none of those things. Eliot, in the aftermath of Quentin’s death, goes to the mosaic and talks to old man Quentin, who is grieving his husband. This is sad, y’all. But cathartic, too.

Cheat Day by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 1,624 words. Set during season four. Quentin misses Eliot, and does something sad and dangerous. Short and… well, sweet is the wrong word. This one will punch you right in the gut.

Movement by pineapplecrushface (@pineapplecrushface). Explicit. 17,036 words. These are three stories that are only loosely connected in that they are about sex, and introspection. They fit into lots of categories - parts of them take place in Eliot’s happy place, parts at the mosaic, parts in the aftermath of possession. All three stories in the series are scorching hot and full of so much feeling. I really admire how they weave through time, following the changing dynamics through the events of canon in a really unique way.

darkness, welcoming by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 17,748 words. I almost put this in the Alternate Universe (With Magic) section, but this is not the same world as canon. Eliot is a vampire! He saves Quentin’s life and then… uh… well, they fall in love, and there’s some blood play. Eliot is super smitten, and it’s precious. Also really hot.

What Was and What Will Be by ProofOfConcept and wilddragonflying. Mature. 35,996 words. This is part mosaic-fic, part post-possession fic… it’s basically just another story of these two idiots being so bad at communication, but finally getting it right. A really satisfying journey, encompassing so many elements of what we all wished for in canon. I especially loved the long and difficult conversation they have during their reunion. The line that really punched me in the gut was: “fuck you for saying ‘I love you’ for the first goddamn time when you’re breaking up with me.”

kiss me harder, you’re better than you know by propinquitous (@propinquitous). Explicit. 4,633 words. This could easily take place in a nebulous post-season-four world, but it exists in its own little bubble and could really slot into any given universe. It deals with Quentin’s depression in a really direct, really devastating way, but also features Eliot being there for Quentin as best as he can. As the tags say, “not the healthiest of coping mechanisms.” But it’s filled with so much tenderness I can hardly stand it.

To Feel the Same by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Teen. 1,725 words. A small gap-filler at the end of the “I think you should probably hug me right now” scene in 2x01.

[hoeassproductions]

Break A Leg: Chapter 11

Masterlist

***Author’s Note: Hey everyone, I am so sorry that you’ve waiting this long for this story to finish out. I happened to come on here after I haven’t been on Tumblr for almost two years. I honestly thought I had posted the last chapter but realized it’s been sitting in my drafts this whole time! How freaking lame!! Anyways, this got an updated edit and without further ado, the last chapter to Break A Leg! I hope you like it!***

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own, possess, or have any links to Chris Evans, nor do I profit off of this work. Any claims otherwise are grossly misleading. This work is not to be posted anywhere else without my explicit permission.

If you would like to be added to any future tag list, reply here or send me an ask. I’d be happy to add you! Happy reading!

Word Count: ~2,500

The Beginning

“Sooooo. . .you've been talking to your mom about me?”

Chris begins to turn crimson as he tries to explain away anything Lisa may have overshared.

“Oh god, what did she say? I only told her the good stuff, I promise. I will talk to her about being nosy. She’s a sweet woman. I love her to death and tell her everything.” he says with a shrug of his shoulder.

“I could tell that, yeah.” I say, not being able to hide the smile that beams from my face in listening to him talk about his mom.

“You have no idea.” He chuckles, and I can visibly see the tension leave his body as he realizes I'm not mad.

"Don't worry Evans, I think it's sweet and I don't mind. Just a little taken aback I guess. I don't know, she seemed really excited to meet me. I want to meet her too, don't get me wrong! It's just…" I take a small breathe as I meet Chris eyes as he waits for me to find the words. "… Is she that excited to meet all of your friends?"

"Well, I mean. C'mon Y/N, you're not just anybody! You're…you're you."

Before I can push him further on what he means, he presses on.

"Y/N, about in the hallway before Sandra came out…"

"Yeah… I think that maybe we should talk…" Now its my turn to be nervous as it's not clear where he's taking this.

In the middle of Chris beginning to speak, my phone goes off. We both laugh uncomfortably, the nerves of the new subject getting more frazzled at the second interruption since being alone. Saved by the bell again!

I pull my phone out of my back pocket and I see that it's ringing for a reminder with my date with Jessie. My face drops. How could I forget about… Shit!

When Chris sees the change in expression, he can tell there's a problem. "What's wrong?"

"It's um…it's a reminder. I have to go, I'm sorry." I get up and walk away back to my cabin with conviction in my step. To my surprise, Chris doesn't follow me, but the separation is good. I need time to think.

How the hell did I not remember I told Jessie we could go on a date tonight? It completely slipped my mind. If I never set my alarm, I would not have even batted an eye staying at the dock longer with Chris. Confusion continues running through my mind as I check the clock on my phone again as I reach my porch. Had it already gotten that late? We couldn't have been out there that long already could we? And I rush back here to go on a date?!

I can only think of one thing do at a time like this. With a little under an hour before Jessie shows, I dial Hannah's number. On the second ring, She picks up.

"Hey love, love!"

"Oh Hannah, thank god. I need to talk to you, and I don’t have too much time." I explain to her everything that's happened since I got here and the current predicament. She's listens patiently, and understands my dilemma.

"Hannah, what do I do? With Jessie, and all the old feelings… It's just so easy to fall back into it but Chris…he's something else entirely. I can't get him out of my head or heart. I see small glimmers here and there that maybe he fees the same but I don't know what he wants. It's a risk to lay it all out there not knowing. What do I do? Jessie will be here any minute and I'm so confused."    

Hannah is quiet while she thinks everything over for a few moments.

"Y/N, your heart knows what you want. I know it's scary, but that's why you should go for it. Lean into the fear and trust that it would work out. Given everything you've told me, I would be hard pressed to think Chris doesn't have feelings for you. You know what you need to do. I know you gotta get ready or whatever, but I love you. Call me later if you need to talk, okay?"

"Ugh, okay. I hate it when you're right sometimes. I love you, too. We'll talk soon."

Thinking to myself as I get ready with 8pm quickly approaching, I'm finding butterflies beginning in my stomach. The nervousness of what's ahead sinking in more. Before long, I hear a knock on my door, and open it to see Jessie standing there with a bouquet of wildflowers. I welcome him in while I place them in a vase with some water.

"You look great Y/N! I have some fun stuff planned for tonight…" he trails off as he realizes something is off as I don't make eye contact with him or say anything. "Y/N, is everything ok?"

I take a deep breathe as I sit him down next to me.

'Jessie, look. Given our history, I think that it's very important that I be as open and honest with you as I can right now. All day, I've been completely distracted… and you weren't on my mind even once. I forgot about our date until my alarm went off to remind me to get ready. And then, once that happened I began to get butterflies and so nervous, but - " Before I could finish, Jessie speaks up.

“Listen, I know we've never gotten the timing right with this, but I can’t help but feel like fate has brought us together this time. Like….things have finally matched up and we can, I don’t know, give us a try? Before you say anything, can we agree to take some time this week to feel each other out. No expectations, just getting to know each other better again. It’s been awhile, and I know some things must have changed….I know they have for me.”

Giving thought to his words, my mind can’t help but wander to Chris.

Chris said it himself. TWICE. You guys are just friends. What if I go for it and he still feels that way? But Hannah was right, there is something there…something that feels beyond what I can even put into words. The almost kiss, the comfortability on the dock, him being so trusting and open with me? Why not lean in to it? And this, with Jessie? This is just…..safe. Hannah said I need to lean into the fear if that's what my heart wants…

Gathering my resolve, I think to myself for a moment, trying to figure out what the hell to say. Looking at Jessie, I can feel the right choice planting itself even further in my heart as my nerves continue to grow until the words reach my lips.

“You know what? Under normal circumstances, I would probably say yes to that but…I don't feel like I can right now. I did get butterflies before you came because I know what my heart wants. Falling back into this would be easy and low-maintenance…safe. But I don't want that, I want fireworks and passion. I want to feel electricity from a knowing stare across the room or my heart pounding from an almost kiss. I-I just…we don't have that chemistry anymore, Jessie. I have it with someone else, and I don't know what's going to happen but I know I have to at least try, or I'd never forgive myself. I'm sorry. You're a great guy and you deserve to find someone who feels this way about you, but that's not me anymore. It just wouldn't be fair to you if my heart isn't in it. I hope you understand.”

After some time of silence, the tension releases from my shoulders, and I can see him process my words.

"I guess that settles it then, Y/N. I appreciate your honesty, and to be honest, I could see the chemistry between you and Chris as soon as you guys arrived. I always told myself that if I ever saw you again, that I would try again but I understand now that I just got wrapped up in the past and I'm sorry for that."

At the mention of Chris, my eyes shoot up to meet Jessie's. "But I didn't say who it was..."

"You didn't have to. It's obvious and there's been a lot of talk since you guys got here. I shouldn't have even tried to get you back, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity for us to actually have a shot at what we kept failing at for years. Listen, he's a great guy, and if he's the one for you, I'm happy for you. Truly. You could do worse than him. Just be careful. His lifestyle and career… it's no joke."

We both fall silent for a moment at him verbalizing something I hadn't even considered yet, the fame that Chris has to bear. Where would that leave me if this goes any further?

Seeing the gears turning in my head, Jessie interrupts my thoughts thrown into overdrive. "Have you talked to him about your feelings yet?"

"No, I've been trying to deny them for many reasons…I don't know what he wants. He says we're friends, but I feel like there's more there. I know I want more, but it's scary to approach it without knowing."

"Only one way to find out kid. Follow your heart, and your gut. He'd be crazy not to go for it with you. You're a catch, Y/N."

I walk him to the door, and give him a hug on the porch.

"Thanks Jessie, and thank you for being so understanding"

Pulling away, I see that Chris has walked back, and is just getting to his porch. He waits until Jessie leaves to say anything.

"That's what all the rush was about? Him?" I can hear slight frustration in his voice as he says this to me while crossing the distance to his door. Is Chris…jealous?

"I-I, Yes it was, but I made it very clear to him that it wasn't going to work. My heart isn't in it…it's with someone else."

At hearing this, Chris comes to a halt, key at the ready.

"I had to be honest with him. I Couldn't…not when…" my words trail off as Chris' eyes meet mine and I can feel all of the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

"Not when what, Y/N?" he says, walking towards me on his porch, and I can see uncertainty dance in his expression.

I feel my anxiety and fear build up inside of me. Tears begin to well in my eyes and I know what I need to say but getting the words to come out is proving difficult.

I take in a shaky breath to gather myself. Y/N, you can do this. Tell him you're worth it. That you both deserve to give this a real shot.

My pulse quickens as my breathing begins to saw in and out of me, but I hold my ground "Not when...my heart is with you. I want you."

I look at Chris and in a matter of seconds, I see confusion and frustration fade from his face to be replaced by the biggest smile I have seen of his to date.

In seeing the change in his demeanor at my admission, the tears begin to spill over, clouding my eyes to point of blurring my vision so when I begin to feel steps on my porch, I was a little startled.

I wipe my eyes and see Chris standing before me. He reaches for me and pulls me into his arms with no words, knowing that I need a minute to compose myself.

I take in a deep breath, his scent settling around me, and I feel myself starting to relax.

"Chris, I'm.....let me explain....I-"

"No Y/N, it's okay. I'm just happy you're less of a chicken shit than I am."

I feel his laughter vibrate our bodies as he lifts his head, and pulls back to see my confused expression.

"Wait-"

"I feel the same way, and clearly you're scared but Y/N, you're one of the most kind and caring people I have ever met. I would be crazy to NOT to be interested in you! Ever since I dumped my coffee all over you and you threw your panties at me, I knew I had to keep you around by any means necessary." I slap his chest as we recall the haphazard way we met a couple months ago.

"Hey, HEY…" he says, as he shields himself from any more of my attack and we continue to chuckle. "What I'm trying to say is that you're amazing and I have feelings for you too. I don't know when it happened but you burrowed your way into my heart and I…I love having you there "

Listening to this, I am overjoyed. I grab Chris and I pull him in close, resting our foreheads together.

"Oh Chris, that makes me so happy to hear. I was so scared that I would ruin this if I said something and you didn't feel the same way but I couldn't ignore it anymore. You're in my heart too, and there's so much we need to talk about and discuss… a lot to figure out but I want to face all of that with you."

"I know Y/N. I know being with me has it's own challenges that a normal relationship doesn’t have to endure but I will do everything in my power to protect you while giving you the world because you deserve it…WE deserve it. You feel that too, right?"

"Yes, I do. I really do. There's a lot a stake when you lead with your heart."

"There always is but you're worth it, what we will build together will be worth it." He holds me to his chest again as I begin to full out cry, the emotions of it all overtaking me. After a few moments, I can feel his tears beginning to mingle with mine, and the realization hits me that this is real. This is my life and he's not going anywhere.

After we both compose ourselves and have calmed down, I embolden myself and look up into his eyes. "I guess there's only one thing to worry about right now then…to finish this."

The question forming behind his eyes before it reaches his lips, "Finish what?"

"The beginning of us."

Recognition falls over Chris face as I pull him in so our lips to finally meet for the first time, and I can feel in my soul; this is the moment I realize he's the only one that could capture my heart.

As we share our first kiss, I feel the world settle around me. This feels right, here in each other's arms without a care in sight. There's no place I'd rather be and to think it all started with a chance encounter.

                                                     ~The End~

Previous 

A/N: Again, so sorry I’m an ass and have kept this ending in my drafts. If you see this and have followed this story this entire time, thank you sooo much! Appreciate all of your likes, reblogs, and words of encouragement to make my first full fic a great experience! Writing is hard and scary, but I really enjoy it and am excited to get back to it! I have some fresh ideas that may just make it on here, so stay tuned!

Tags: @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan  @avenger-nerd-mom @mycapt-ohcapt-writes @mad-for-marvel @vanillabeanlattes @captain-ariel-barnes @emilyevanston @thewife101cevans @loricameback  @plussizeappreciationfics @a-tale-of-two-comics  @melodramaticfanatic @writingcreatingstorytelling  @mywritingsblog @disney-fire-fox @harrinoodles  @lookwhatyoumademequeue @janeyboo @aglarelen @purelyfictionallife  @cevansgirl @mrs-captain-evans @randomcevans  @nomadicpixel @elivanah-writes @katiew1973 @tchitchou26@mackevanstanfan80 @unicornpurplelife

[lady-plantagenet]

What are your thoughts on Jaime x Cersei, Jaime x Brienne, Tyrion x Tysha, George x Isabel, and Henry VIII x Anne Boleyn? (Sorry for the long list!)

Glad to see someone else feeling charitable and letting me vent my unsolicited opinions 😂. Saved the George x Isabel for the last cause I’m sure it will be the longest lmao!

Asked Via: Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it: https://lady-plantagenet.tumblr.com/post/627331607624302592/send-me-a-ship-and-ill-give-you-my-brutally

Jaime x Cersei: Despite it’s fundamental flaws, it is... titillating to read. The idea of people falling in love with their own other-gender counterpart is twisted yet so intriguing. I must confess that I am not as disgusted by incest as most people, so bear that in mind. The thing is, Cersei is definitely a narcissist with a lot of internalised misogyny and this ship just feels so justified to her character.

The issue is, and as the books go on, it becomes quickly clear that Jaime’s love is not as deep and as his appearance changes, and they no longer look identical Cersei’s own mental image, Cersei’s love also wanes and then you’re hit with how shallow it was. So I ship these two... but I also don’t because they’re toxic? Honestly, book-wise I am intrigued to see what will happen, if they end up together... or they don’t... either way I’m sure it will be quite a ride. You see, I’m not emotionally invested.

Jaime x Brienne: Oh the Sapphires... Obviously anyone who cares for Jaime’s wellbeing would want him to end up with Brienne as opposed to Cersei. I read this interesting theory recently on how these two don’t actually love each other but confuse their strong platonic feelings of affection for romance. You see, that’s also an interesting take as both characters are quite bereft off opposite gender friendships.

However, I strongly ship them romantically as well, Book!Brienne (hey show as well!) is truly admirable because based on her choice in men e.g. Renly, you can see how she had still not given up on her maidenly fantasies and I just love her for that, because true love isn’t something to which only pretty women are entitled. She in many ways represents salvation for him as she being a true knight in spite of her gender, can veer him back into the path of chivalry. He is most chivalrous around her, I mean, not only because her good conduct influences but also because he performs some of the most knightly deeds by cause of her e.g. rescuing her from the bear pit. I like this ship, it’s a good trope subversion.

Tyrion x Tysha: I find this one of the more heartbreaking ships of ASOIAF, because to me it represents Tyrion’s loss of innocence.

She is a haunting figure because of how small remnants of her memory were enough to pull Tyrion into the toxic relationship he had with Shae e.g. she too hard dark hair and there was music around when he met her. Its one of those weird (as @omgellendean put it in her brutally honest ask tag answer - a character who consists of only a name), but unlike Ashara Dayne, she is not idealised and given this over-the-top tragic story. So this elusive Tysha is an entity by what she symbolises: foregone youth and a sweetness that has no place in the ASOIAF universe.

Henry VIII x Anne Boleyn: As I said in my last ask. I cannot tolerate the romanticisation of infidelity, and that is especially when the male’s spouse is a wonderful woman fit for him and has done nothing wrong. I don’t have strong feelings against Anne Boleyn herself, as I prefer to see her as ‘Anne the Educated and Sophisticated Reformer’ as opposed to ‘Anne the Seductress’. Ugh let me just say... rule of thumb for whether it’s a good pair: Do thousands have to die for your selfish desire to be together? Yes? Then probably not meant to be. Just a thought.

I think Anne knew her own mind and I like to think her strong beliefs influenced her decision to breach this marriage (no I didn’t think she was her father’s pawn gah I’m sick of that term), but they were ultimately unsuited in everything and it was a passion brought about by Henry’s caprice. My heart breaks when I think on how Anne could have been happily married to Henry Percy. I’m also tried of this whole ‘master manipulator of men’s hearts’ reputation Anne is getting. You do realise refusing to be a mistress was not being a tease as much as it was just being a conventionally virtuous woman..? The girl knew her worth.

George x Isabel: Oh god. I promise to not start writing an essay. As weird as it is to ship dead people, they are my OTP, the main characters of my main historyfanfic, and frankly the most unsung couple of TWOTR. The fact that there are no records of letters or any particularly over-the-top romantic gestures by either of them, just intrigues me more because it was very much a relationship defined in subtle deeds. If you peruse the more academic TWOTR literature you can see all the fine but conclusive evidences of a devoted relationship: He posthumously enrolled her in a guild when he stayed there with his children (months after she died), he was buried together with her and her ancestors not his, how during 1470 he sent her to Exeter for her safekeeping while her mother and sister remained at Warwick and when a siege broke out he (and his father-in-law) immediately rode south to lift it and the amount of expenses and care he put into her funeral. Not to mention, the hassle it took for them to get married: years of trying to get a dispensation underneath the king’s nose culminating in them having to cross the channel.

The thing is, it had a lot of politics behind it and to be honest I don’t find that less romantic. It was one right for both of them: for the wealthiest heiress in England and the handsome younger brother and heir of King Edward - truly no one else would do for any of them. One of the things that grabs me is the medievalness of it all, how they were bound together by what was essentially a plan to reverse the country’s inevitable transition out of ‘bastard feudalism’. You also get a sense of how this marriage despite the ultimate failure of its purpose (to make George King) brought George the chance to establish himself as a major magnate through his wife’s lands which ultimately became his main source of power as opposed to his royal status. The relative peace that ensued after 1472 shows that his status as Warwick’s political heir (as Christine Carpenter put it) did something to placate the disapointment of not becoming king. So the way I see it, Isabel’s death took from him any of the satisfaction and peace she brought with her lands and persona as he once again reverted to his old (even more than before) reckless self. Not to mention the people he executed after her death in his grief believe in her to have been poisoned (most historians believe that’s unlikely).

Aside from that, in a society where pretty much everyone strayed (even Anthony Woodville had a bastard daughter), it is quite heart-warming how the man known for his treachery, happened to be one of the only ones loyal to his wife: no bastards or women were ever linked to his name not even in rumour. As for Isabel, she is quite a shadowy figure but you get the sense she was intelligent because of the care her father took in preparing her as his heir, because of her wealth you get this sense of majesty and significance about her. The two times we can deduce anything about her personality is a true supporter of her husband: once, when deciding to treat with the Yorks behind her father’s back to reconcile George to them, second, remaining steadfast to George when he tried to squirrel her sister Anne out of her inheritance. Based on the homage she paid to her ancestors, she seems proud of her ancestry so it’s quite intriguing to think why she made the aforementioned two choices, endangering her father and sister in favour of her husband. And oh god I’m rambling, I can say even more if you can believe it but I shall stop. Overall, one might think I’m wishful thinking but frankly Anne and Richard are touted as star-crossed lovers all the time and with even littler evidence to support it (not that I don’t ship them, I do). I might be subjective, but the story of George and Isabel’s life is just so compelling...

[thatwasthenightthingschanged]

I haven’t done one of these in quite a while now, but here’s finally the next part of my “The Taylor Swift song analysis series”! In which I, a German girl majoring in English, attempt to analyse or interpret Taylor’s songs to shed more light on a) her incredible song writing skills and b) songs that are generally very underrated and deserve more attention. (here’s the link to all my song analysis)

Today’s song is We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (since I’m still doing the songs on RED in chronological order) and I’m rlly excited abt this because this song is so underrated but I absolutely love it! and I do think it’s actually pretty sad in the context of the whole album but just disguises the fact under a very pop-y melody (also, as always, a short psa that this  interpretation is extremely subjective meaning that’s just how I see the song! also that I’m no native speaker so I probably will not be able to get any cultural references in any of Taylor’s songs - but feel free to add them in a reblog :) )

(keep in mind, Taylor’s very much still talking about the relationship that she mentioned in songs like State Of Grace, Treacherous or All Too Well - meaning it’s about this toxic person she was with, when she threw caution out of the window)

“I remember when we broke up the first time, saying, ‘this is it, I've had enough,’ 'cause, like, we hadn't seen each other in a month when you said you needed ‘space’ (what?)” This is quite literal, the first time she broke up with that person she was so fed up with them because she didn’t get them. They hadn’t been able to meet for a month (aka her partner had enough ‘space’) and then when they finally met up again (which she was probably pretty excited about) they said, they needed even more space, which just doesn’t seem to make sense to her.

“then you come around again and say ‘baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change, trust me’ “ So her partner basically broke up with HER because he needed said space, but then a bit later that person turned around and came back to her and said they were sorry for treating her this way, they realize their mistake and they promise not to repeat it. In context with ‘Babe’ I’d go as far to say that this also relates to that person cheating on her, then coming back and saying it was a one time thing and it’s never going to happen again. Taylor in this case forgave him and they were back together.

“remember how that lasted for a day?” this promise, however, turned out to be empty as that person treated her shitty again just a day later. this pretty much illustrates the dynamic between the two: her partner would mess up, she’d forgive him because she loved him so much, and then he messed up again, she forgave him, etc. it seems like she was more invested in the relationship than her partner was.

“I say, ‘I hate you,’ we break up, you call me, ‘I love you’ “ Again illustrating the dynamic of their relationship. this part is also a bit of a juxtaposition in my opinion because here HE says he loves her, yet based on the fact that she kept forgiving him and he kept messing up, she was the one who truly loved him and he just said he did but if he really loved her, he wouldn’t have treated her this way.

“we called it off again last night, but this time, I'm telling you, I'm telling you we are never, ever, ever getting back together. you go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me but we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together, like, ever“ Yes, this a pretty catchy line but for me it’s rather sad, considering that she kept seeing the best in her partner so many times, gave him so many chances, yet he still kept on disappointing her, cheating on her and treating her like shit. And apparently if she then ignored him/wouldn’t let him speak to her, he talked to her friends or his friends and tried to get them to convince Taylor to take him back. But right now she’s at a point where she says “Ok, been there, done that, this clearly isn’t gonna work out, no matter how many times you say you’ll change because you clearly never will and I clearly don’t mean half as much to you as you mean to me; I’m worth more than that”

“I'm really gonna miss you picking fights and me, falling for it, screaming that I'm right” another part of their rather toxic relationship: He picked fights with her over little things on purpose. To me it seems like he just searched for a good reason to break up with her. And instead of talking their problems out, they both were stoic, never admitted they were wrong so the distance between them grew even bigger (reminds me of Taylor’s ELLE article when she said she had to learn how to fight fair with the ones she loves).

“and you would hide away and find your peace of mind with some indie record that's much cooler than mine” Oh yes, here comes the cheating. So they would get into a fight (which he started, mind you) so that he wouldn’t have to feel bad for making out with another person because Taylor and he were “broken up”. He could of course also later use that excuse when apologizing to Taylor, saying “yeah, I did make out with another person, but we were broken up at that time, so it was okay for me to do that” which is a pretty messed up logic considering how often he did that. But of course, as Taylor, this at first might have made sense until it happened too often. It also turns around the victim-abuser dynamic and telling Taylor that she has no right to be upset about it, which is pretty messed up. Also the line about the indie record implies that he constantly told her her music wasn’t “good” because it was country and “ugh that’s so mainstream, how boring” and in one occasion apparently even hooked up with an indie artist (I assume?). So he had no respect for Taylor’s talent and just constantly talked her down instead of supporting her. Also notable how she made this song a pop song because country was already too mainstream for him, so she made the song even more mainstream by turning to pop and forcing him to listen to it wherever he goes.

“I used to think that we were forever, ever” Again, pretty sad if you think about it: She thought he was ‘the one’, that they would end up married and having kids but she was just crushed by the reality of him.

“and I used to say, ‘never say never’ “ She also used to give people as many chances as they’d like (which her partner really took advantage of) but this is over now since she has finally gotten to a breaking point.

“ugh, so he calls me up and he's like, ‘I still love you’ and I'm like, ‘I just- I mean, this is exhausting, you know? like, we are never getting back together, like, ever’ “ also pretty sad in my opinion simply because she’s now at a point where those three words mean nothing to her, she cannot believe him when he tells her he loves her. And it’s clearly taken a mental toll on her, she’s exhausted of getting ehr hopes up every time, thinking it will finally be different, only for him to smash them to the ground again (but at least she’s gotten the strength to finally leave this toxic relationship behind, as leaving is often extremely difficult in these situations)