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intersex-support · 1 month

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Intersex Support FAQ

1. What is intersex?

Intersex is an umbrella term that describes people who have variations in sex characteristics that fall outside of the sex binary. This includes variations in genitals, internal reproductive organs like testes and ovaries, chromosomes, secondary sex characteristics, and/or the way that your body produces or responds to hormones. Some examples of intersex variations include AIS, CAH, PCOS, Klinefelters, hypospadias, and more.

The three main factors that define intersex variations are:

Variation in sex characteristics

The variation falls outside of the sex binary and is different from what is considered typical “male” or “female” development. These variations in traits might often be stigmatized and discriminated against for being outside of the sex binary.

This variation is either present from birth or develops spontaneously later in life. It is not caused by transitioning or by something temporary like a medication side effect, tumor, or other medical diagnosis.

(This definition is inspired by InterACT).

2. Does ____ count as intersex?

There are around 40 different intersex variations that are currently known. InterACT”s intersex variation glossary lists out those intersex variations and gives a brief description of each one.

However, we know that isn’t a complete list. People have intersex variations that haven’t been medically researched yet, or might have a rare variation that the intersex community isn’t aware of yet.

There are also some variations that might seem on the border between perisex and intersex. Some types of hormonal or reproductive diagnoses might not have a clear answer on whether they’re intersex or not.

Ultimately, intersex is a social/political identity rather than a strictly medical one. Increased research and changing social attitudes can cause the definition of intersex to expand over time. Regardless of whether someone has a confirmed intersex variation or an “intersex adjacent” diagnosis, if intersex resources are helpful to you, we hope that you continue to use them and act in solidarity with the intersex community.

On this blog, we do include PCOS with hyperandrogenism as part of the intersex community. Check out our PCOS tag for more posts about our reasoning, and PCOS specific resources.

3. Am I intersex?

We cannot diagnose you with an intersex variation over the internet. We can share resources such as the intersex variations glossary, share tips for navigating the medical system, and share information on other non-clinical signs of being intersex.

Some questions to ask yourself that can help you start the process of intersex discovery:

What do my sex traits (genitalia, secondary sex characteristics, hormone levels, etc) look like? Does this seem like it lines up with the “typical” descriptions of those sex traits?

Do I have any information about my birth? Were there any complications? Did doctors do extra testing at birth? Did doctors take me away from my parents for long periods of time? Did it take me longer to have my sex assigned at birth?

What was puberty like for me? Did I have early or late puberty? Did I have to go on hormones to start puberty? Did I have any variations in puberty, such as unexpected breast growth, irregular periods, or other changes? Did I go through puberty at all?

If you’ve tried to have children, are you infertile or struggling with fertility?

Did I have any unexplained surgeries or medical procedures as a child? Was I ever told I had to have organs removed and was told it was because of a cancer risk? Did I have to be on specific medications or hormones throughout my childhood? Did I have to go see a doctor more frequently? Did I go to an endocrinologist or pediatric urologist as a child?

Do I have surgery scars or scar tissue? Do I have more frequent UTIs than typical?

Do I have access to my medical records? Is there records of hormone panels, ultrasounds, physical exams, surgeries, or other medical procedures?

This kind of information can help you start to piece together if you think you might have an intersex variation, or if you think your intersex variation was hidden from you.

If you’re sending in an ask trying to figure out if your symptoms line up with a specific intersex variation, please share as much information as you’re comfortable with so that we can answer with the most helpful resources.

4. Can I self diagnose as intersex?

It’s complicated! Intersex is different from other LGBTQIA identities, in that it’s not only about self determination, but also about our embodied experience in a very specific way. In order to be intersex, you have to have an intersex variation. And there are many intersex variations that can only be confirmed through medical testing, so it’s not something that is easy to self-diagnose.

However, we recognize that the medical system is expensive, discriminatory, and often actively hides information about people’s intersex variations from them. (it wasn’t even until 2006 that the AAP stopped recommending that doctors lie to their patients about intersex status, so many intersex adults were born before that policy change!) Considering all that we know about intersex oppression, curative violence, and medical abuse, it feels incredibly cruel to tell people that they have to force themself through that system in order to seek answers.

So, we understand that there are ways of finding out that you are intersex without having a specific, confirmed, medical diagnosis. Many of us might find out that we’re intersex because we realize that our genitalia visibly looks different, and we can tell that we are intersex, even if we don’t know our specific diagnosis. Others might find out that we’re intersex because of strange discrepancies in our medical record. We might find out through discovering surgery scars on our body. We might go through puberty and realize that we’re developing in an atypical way to our peers. We might do a lot of research into intersex variations and have a pretty good guess into what variation lines up with our experiences. We might have some test results that help us understand we have intersex traits, even if we don’t know our specific diagnosis.

Before self diagnosing, we think it’s important to do thorough research into intersex variations, so that you truly understand what intersex means, what intersex variations exist, and understand how that information applies to yourself. It’s also important to be considerate of how we interact in community spaces, and respect other intersex people's boundaries as you engage in a questioning or diagnosis process.

5. Are intersex people trans?

Some intersex people are trans, and some aren’t. Most intersex people are still assigned a gender at birth, and many intersex people who are raised as one gender and then later identify as another gender identify with the label trans. Intersex people can be cis or trans just like any other group of people.

Many intersex people have complicated relationships with gender, and don’t feel like labels like cis or trans really fit their experiences. For this reason, terms like intergender and ipsogender were coined.

6. Are intersex people LGBTQIA?

It’s complicated! The “I” in LGBTQIA stands for intersex. Intersex history is intertwined with other parts of queer history. For example, the very first protest for intersex people in the United States was organized by Hermaphrodites with Attitude and Transexual Menace. There are intersex inclusive versions of community pride flags. Many intersex people view their intersex identity as a queer identity. Intersex oppression overlaps in many ways with homophobia and transphobia.

However, not all intersex people think that intersex should be included in the LGBTQIA community. Sometimes this is for bigoted reasons, with intersex radfems who use this stance as a way to be transphobic. But there are also intersex people who think that the “I” should only be included in the acronym when intersex people are actually meaningfully being included in queer spaces and resources. Many of us feel frustrated when people put “LGBTQIA” on a resource but then don’t actually have any intersex specific information in those resources.

In general, this is an ongoing intracommunity discussion where we don’t have a consensus.

7. Are intersex people disabled?

It’s complicated! Intersex is an umbrella term for many different experiences, and there is not one universal intersex experience. Some intersex people identify as disabled. Some intersex people do not.

Many intersex variations do cause disabling impacts in our bodies and lives. Some intersex variations are comorbid with other health conditions. Other intersex people become disabled because of violent normalizing interventions we’ve survived, such as forced surgery or other types of medical abuse.

Intersex people are also impacted by many of the same structures of oppression that harm disabled people. Both intersex people and disabled people are harmed by ableism. Both intersex people and disabled people are harmed by pathologization. Both intersex people and disabled people are harmed by curative violence.

In the book Cripping Intersex, Celeste Orr explores all these concepts and creates something called “intersex is/and/as/with disability,” which is a model to think about all these different and sometimes conflicting relationships with disability. Some intersex people might identify directly as disabled. Others might sometimes think about the way that intersex is treated as a disability. Other intersex people might think about intersex and disability as a way to have solidarity. All of these relationships with disability are meaningful parts of the intersex community.

8. What is intersex oppression/intersexism/interphobia/compulsory dyadism?

Intersex people face a lot of oppression in many ways in society. At the core, intersex oppression relies on the idea that the only acceptable sex traits are sex traits that fit into the sex binary. Intersex oppression relies on mythical ideas of the “ideal male or female” body, where someone's chromosomes perfectly line up with their genitalia and internal reproductive organs, with perfectly normal hormone levels and perfect secondary sex characteristics that don’t have any variation. When people don’t fit into that “perfect” sex binary, they are seen as less valuable, abnormal, and threatening. There is then a societal pressure to eradicate any traits and people that fall outside of the sex binary, which causes a lot of targeted discrimination of intersex people. This form of oppression is called “compulsory dyadism,” and was coined by Celeste Orr.

Compulsory dyadism is also rooted in, overlaps with, and is the foundation for many other types of oppression. For example, ableism is another form of oppression that creates ways of harming people whose bodies and minds are labeled as less valuable for societally constructed reasons. Check out Talila Lewis’s definition of ableism for more information. Another example is how racialized people are targeted by sex testing policies in sports--both intersex and perisex women of color are consistently targeted by sex testing policies designed to exclude intersex people from sports. Another example is that homophobia and transphobia contribute to why intersex bodies are seen as threats that need to be eradicated--society views existing with intersex sex traits as a slippery slope to growing up as a gay or trans adult. Compulsory dyadism is also at the root of a lot of transphobic rhetoric about how transitioning “ruins” people’s bodies. All these forms of oppression are connected.

There are a lot of ways that compulsory dyadism causes intersex people to be targeted and discriminated against. A huge issue is nonconsensual surgeries at birth, that attempt to “normalize” ambiguous genitalia, remove intersex people’s gonads, and otherwise alter genitalia or internal structures. These surgeries are often referred to as intersex genital mutilation, or IGM. These surgeries do not have any medical necessity, but doctors lobby to continue to be allowed to perform them anyway. These surgeries can sterilize intersex people, cause lifelong trauma, and also cause many disabling medical complications. Alongside IGM, intersex people also face a lot of different types of medical abuse.

Besides curative violence and medical abuse, intersex people also face discrimination in our schools, jobs, and public places. We face legal discrimination in changing our names and sex markers. We face discrimination from institutions like CPS, which often target parents, especially people of color, that refuse to put their children through intersex genital mutilation. Many intersex people survive targeted sexual violence. We have a widespread lack of resources, visibility, and representation. Many people still have prejudiced ideas about intersex people and call us slurs. These are just a few examples of the many way that interphobia/intersexism show up in our lives.

9. What is intersex justice?

Intersex justice is a framework created by intersex activists through the Intersex Justice Project as a way to fight for intersex liberation.

“Intersex justice is a decolonizing framework that affirms the labor of intersex people of color fighting for change across social justice movements. By definition, intersex justice affirms bodily integrity and bodily autonomy as the practice of liberation. Intersex justice is intrinsically tied to justice movements that center race, ability, gender identity & expression, migrant status, and access to sexual & reproductive healthcare. Intersex justice articulates a commitment to these movements as central to its intersectional analysis and praxis. Intersex justice acknowledges the trauma caused by medically unnecessary and nonconsensual cosmetic genital surgeries and addresses the culture of shame, silence and stigma surrounding intersex variations that perpetuate further harm.

The marginalization of intersex people is rooted in colonization and white supremacy. Colonization created a taxonomy of human bodies that privileged typical white male and female bodies, prescribing a gender binary that would ultimately harm atypical black and indigenous bodies. As part of a liberation movement, intersex activists challenge not only the medical establishment, which is often the initial site of harm, but also governments, institutions, legal structures, and sociocultural norms that exclude intersex people. Intersex people should be allowed complete and uninhibited access to obtaining identity documents, exercising their birth and adoption rights, receiving unbiased healthcare, and securing education and employment opportunities that are free from harm and harassment.” (Source: Dr. Mel Michelle Lewis through the Intersex Justice Project.)

There are seven principles to intersex justice:

Informed consent

Reparations

Legal protections

Accountability

Language

Children's rights

Patient-centered healthcare

10. What is intergender?

Intergender is a gender identity for use by intersex people only. It doesn’t have one specific definition-it is used by intersex people to mean a whole variety of things. It’s used to describe the unique ways our intersex experience intersects with and influences our gender. Some people use it as a modifying term, such as calling themselves an intergender man or woman, as a way to explain the way being intersex affects their identity. Other people identify solely as intergender, and have that be their whole gender.

11. What is dyadic/perisex/endosex?

All are words that mean “not intersex.” Different groups will have different preferences on which one they like to use.

12. Is hermaphrodite an offensive term?

Yes. It is an incredibly offensive slur that perisex people should never say. Many intersex people have a very painful history with the slur. Some of us reclaim the term, which can be an important act of healing and celebration for us.

12. Can perisex people follow?

Feel free, but understand that questions by intersex people are prioritized! Anyone is welcome to follow.

13. I’m writing a character who’s intersex…

Check out this post: https://trans-axolotl.tumblr.com/post/188153640308/intersex-representation. If you’re writing about intersex people for a paid project, you should pay an intersex person to act as a sensitivity reader before publishing.

Check out our Resources and Intersex Organizations pages as well!

#faq #intersex #actually intersex #actuallyintersex #lgbtqia #intersexism #disability #intersex resources #you can also find this post as one of our pages at intersex.support.tumblr.com/faq

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unexplainedie · 2 months

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#recovery #ship #art #discovery #diving #found #sea #ocean #wexford #history #ireland #unexplainedie #unexplained

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morbidology · 24 days

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On July 2, 1951, the quiet city of St. Petersburg, Florida, was rocked by one of the most mysterious and controversial deaths in modern history. Mary Reeser, a 67-year-old widow, was found burned to death in her apartment under circumstances so bizarre that they have puzzled investigators, scientists, and conspiracy theorists for decades.

The macabre discovery was made by Reeser’s landlady, Pansy Carpenter, who had tried to deliver a telegram to her tenant that morning. After receiving no response and noticing an unusually warm doorknob, Carpenter sought help from neighbors. When they managed to open the door, they were met with an astonishing scene: a room relatively untouched by fire, save for the corner where Reeser's remains were found.

Mary Reeser’s body had been almost completely incinerated, reduced to ashes along with the chair she had been sitting in. What remained of her were a part of her backbone, a shrunken skull, and a completely intact left foot still in its slipper. The surrounding area showed minimal damage—plastic household items a short distance from the seat remained unscathed, and although the walls and ceiling were coated with a greasy soot, they were not burnt.

The investigation was led by the St. Petersburg Police Department, who quickly recognized the unusual nature of the scene. Local authorities were joined by the FBI and other experts to determine how such an intense fire could have started and burned so selectively.

Initial hypotheses ranged from a dropped cigarette to an electrical fault. However, both were quickly dismissed. The chair's materials and Reeser's clothing would not typically combust so thoroughly without a higher, sustained temperature than could be achieved by a mere cigarette. Furthermore, there was no evidence of an electrical fire or an accelerant.

As conventional explanations failed, the case began to attract attention from proponents of spontaneous human combustion, a rare and controversial phenomenon in which a person is believed to catch fire without an external ignition source. Advocates of SHC argue that a combination of factors, such as the wick effect (where clothing can absorb melted human fat and act like a candle), could explain the intense and localized burning seen in cases like Reeser’s.

Dr. Wilton Krogman, a physical anthropologist, examined the case and expressed disbelief at the completeness of the combustion. He noted that even bodies exposed to extreme heat in cremation chambers do not typically burn as thoroughly as Reeser's remains had. Dr. Krogman described the case as "the most amazing thing I have ever seen" and found it difficult to reconcile with the known laws of science.

Despite extensive investigation, the official cause of Mary Reeser’s death was ultimately ruled as “death by fire of unknown origin.” The case has remained a source of fascination and debate, appearing in numerous books, documentaries, and discussions about unexplained phenomena.

#spontaneous human combustion #death #bizarre #strange

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kpislby · 1 month

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A love never to forget

parings: bf/ex bf!riki x fem!reader

synopsis: After a sudden and unexplained breakup, Riki struggles with the emotional fallout and the absence of closure. As he grapples with his grief and searches for answers, a surprising discovery forces him to confront his pain and find a new path forward.

genre: angst

warnings: death of character, mental health, grief and loss, i think that's all but let me know if there is more i left out !!

the sounds of rain echoed through the room, constant noise that filled the silence between them. y/n sat on the edge of the bed, hands clenched in her lap, looking down at the floor.

riki was pacing around the room, trying to piece together how they had ended up here, in this moment, when everything had seem fine just days ago.

“what now?” his voice cracked, but he didn’t care. “you can’t just walk away like this, not without a reason.” ..more under the cut

y/n flinched, her fingers tightening together, but she didn’t look up, “i need space,” she whispered, the words fragile and brittle, like she’d rehearsed them a thousand times but never believed them.

his chest tightened, frustration bubbling to the surface. “space? from what? from us?” he knelt in front of her, searching for any sign of the girl he loved, the girl who, just a week ago, had been laughing beside him like nothing was wrong.

but now, she was a stranger. distant. cold.

“you’re not telling me everything” he said softly “i know you, and i know when you’re hiding something from me y/n”

her breath hitched, and for a moment, he thought she was going to break, to tell him the truth. but she swallowed hard, closing her eyes as if it took every ounce of strength to hold her self together.

“i’m sorry riki, i really am” she murmured. “i just- i cant do this anymore”

y/n looked up at him, the tears clung to her lashes, trembling like they, too, were afraid to fall.

riki’s breath hitched, he hated seeing her like this. but what he hated more was not being able to comfort her.

he longed to reach out, to pull her close and ease her pain, but his hands remained frozen at his sides. helpless, he watched the love of his life unravel before him, hurting in ways he couldn’t understand.

she rose slowly, her gaze lingering on him like a memory she wished she could forget. Every step felt like a betrayal as she gathered her things, her heart breaking with each quiet movement.

“baby please” his voice cracked, raw with desperation as she neared the door. “don’t do this,” he whispered, tears tracing down his cheeks. “i love you”

i love you… those three words shattered her. she wanted to turn back, to let his love pull her in one last time, but she couldn’t. not now. not when leaving was the only way to save him from the agony that laid ahead.

with a final glance, she ran—out of his apartment, out of his life—tears falling freely as she disappeared into the night, hoping he could one day forget her, even if she would never forget him.

fast forward three months

riki was laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. the familiar hum of the city outside seemed more depressing than ever. sleepless nights became a norm, each one blending into the next with an unrelenting blur of darkness. The echoes of their last conversation replayed in his mind, a broken record that was played on loop constantly.

he had tried so hard to distract himself—immersing in work or losing himself whilst dancing to loud music. yet, nothing seemed to help. his heart still left broken, nothing being able to tape his heart together again.

each attempt to escape only led him back to the same agonizing question: why did she leave? the absence of closure tearing him into pieces, like an endless void, leaving him relentless and hollow.

deperate for relief, riki talked to the ones he trusted most. they would tell him time would heal, but he found it hard to believe. the void she left behind felt too great to overcome, and the journey to move on seemed as impossible as the answers he sought.

one day, riki couldn’t handel the unknown anymore, he needed answers.

he reached out to all of their mutual friends, looked up her socials, did everything he could think of

nothing

he spent hours searching for answers, only to be met with silence. exhausted, he decided to continue his search for answers later, hope for a glimmer of resolution.

a few days later

riki visited his grandmother’s grave, a sanctuary where he sought solace. his grandmother had practically raised him, having been his rock when his parents were absent. her passing last year had torn a gaping hole in his heart, a wound that the recent breakup had only worsened.

sitting next to her tombstone, he cried silently, his shoulders shaking with each sob. “Why? Why does this world hate me so much?” he whispered, his voice breaking with every word.

after hours of crying and cursing the world for being so cruel, he looked up, his eyes red and puffy, only to notice a small kitten nuzzling against him. he extended a trembling hand, careful not to frighten the tiny creature. “hey, little guy,” he murmured, gently petting the kitten. the kitten, after a moment, pulled away and wandered toward a nearby tombstone. curiosity piqued, riki followed.

the kitten meowed softly, urging him closer.

when riki approached the tombstone, he was struck dumb. the name etched into the stone sent a chill down his spine:

y/n l/n

2005 - 2024

forever in our hearts, your love and kindness will never be forgotten

his breath came in ragged gasps as he tried to comprehend the gravestone’s message. a mix of disbelief and agony overwhelmed him. he sank to his knees, his hands gripping the grass as if it might anchor him to reality

a thousand thoughts collided in his mind, each more painful than the last.

as he sat there, tears streaming down his face, he noticed the kitten once more. it meowed once more. it meowed softly, brushing against his leg before settling beside the grave. riki reached out, his hand trembling as he stroked the little creature’s fur. the comfort of the kitten’s presence was a small solace amidst the storm of his grief.

riki felt a sudden weight lifting from him. it was as if the kitten was offering a tiny measure of peace, a gentle reminder that life, despite cruelty, continued to hold moments of tenderness. the simple act of connection helped him feel less alone in sorrow.

after a long time, he rose unsteadily to his feet, his heart heavy but his resolve strengthening. he knew y/n sent him this small form of comfort.

The pain will always be there, but perhaps it could be woven into something meaningful–a reminder of the love they once shared and the lessons learned.

riki glanced once last time at y/n’s grave, his heart aching but also filled with a newfound sense of purpose. he knew that her death would forever shape his, but he was determined to carry forward her kindness and warmth, to live in a way that would make her proud.

as he walked away from the graveyard, the rain had stopped, and the first hints of dawn began to break through the clouds. the city, once a backdrop of despair, now felt like a canvas for a new beginning. the path ahead was uncertain, but riki took a first step with a fragile hope that, though scarred, he could find a way to heal and to remember her with love rather than just pain.

sooo… did you guys like it?!? hahahaha sorry riki stannssss, i wanted to make an angst fic and riki came ti minddddd. i love you guysss !! thank you so much for reading ❤️

#𐙚⸝⸝꙳ koppiielullaby’s works ✧.* ⋆｡˚ ꕥ #ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ thank you for reading !! 📖⍣ ೋ #enhypen #enhypen angst #angst #enha #enha riki #enhypen niki #niki #ni ki enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enha scenarios #enhypen imagine #nishimura riki #niki nishimura #riki nishimura x reader

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jack-o-phantom · 28 days

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What are Cinder's favorite activities to do w his offspring? Like one-on-one time wise. Also, what's his love language w Apple?

(If you don't mind me asking ofc, Ik this can be considered on more of the personal side of character aspects so don't feel pressured at all to respond :] )

Thanks for asking!! I loved answering this one, lets start with Maple. The youngest of the triplets

Recently with the discovery of his abilities (Maple was a late bloomer) in telekinesis, Cinder has been helping his son with practice runs, though, in his fashion of pushing his abilities until they can try again to get further tomorrow. Maple is a timid teen,,, so this one-on-one time builds his confidence within himself

Helios, the second eldest of the triplets, is a spitting attitude of his father when he was young. Reckless, action first and thinking later. Cinder has combat this with sports for him, honing his speed and reactions.

Cinder of course has been through,, his own experiences with combat, so with Helios he's aiming to make sure he can hold his own. Knowing he'd end up in a fight or two with his spit fire personality.

Ebony, the eldest of the triplets takes after his fathers nerdiness. Almost an exact copy in appearance as well, with Cinder being involved with a title similar to Doctor. They talk about studies and philosophies when it comes down to morality, and social.

yeah they're NERDS!!!!

And the Baby of the family, Melody! She's still young in cryptid kit years, as all their kids grow/age slower then the couple had.

Cinder loves taking his daughter out into the In-between (A thin plane between the mortal world and other dimensions, neutral zone) it's grown modern and popular for the unexplained. Though, like her mom, Melody has a dying sweet tooth for any bakery they come across.

And as for their love language? Well Cinder has so many for his wife,, ghost kisses, holding him, and bringing him his favorite takeout spot. Being married for over 60 years means coming up with many many forms of love between the two.

Apple (his wife) has made it clear to Cinder to make sure that restaurant stays open for decades.

#inbox #my ocs #theharedraws #artist on tumblr #original characters #demon oc #sketch #pierrose family #malwood pierrose family #cinder pierrose #cinder the demon #apple pierrose #maple pierrose #ebony pierrose #helios pierrose #melody pierrose

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puppetmaster13u · 5 months

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Have a WIP of an SCP take on Gotham and their vigilantes :]

Unexplained Location UE-300027

Description: A large city on an island in South Jersey, which does not show up on any maps, nor does it appear to be able to be mapped outside of purchasing a map from inside the city. Several streets appear to have spatial anomalies, including but not limited to gravitational differences, temporal anomalies, disappearances, movement, and slight sentience. Other anomalies appear during the night as well.

Date of Discovery: 3/23/1937

Location: New Jersey, USA

Security Protocol: Initially there was none, as the Foundation was initially too ill-equipped to set up a permanent residence within. Beginning in [Redacted] Outpost [Redacted] was set up and most bridges into the city have been cut off from the public. No less than four teams of security are to be at each entrance and the city’s airport monitored.

Note: Extended time has also been noted to drive several operatives clinically insane. Every operative within Outpost [Redacted] is to be assigned no longer than two weeks per with at least one month away.

Note: After the construction of Outpost [Redacted] another anomaly appeared, though during the day instead of the usual night of previous ones.

#my writing #batman au #batman #dc #dcu #cryptid batman #cryptid batfam #cryptid batfamily #gotham #scp #scp au #drabble #snippet #writing wip

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paxarsenal · 1 year

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Mutuality

A WaveWave (Soundwave x Shockwave) fanfiction I had sitting in my notes app since June.

I'm so normal about them ✍(◔◡◔) <(💜💙💜💙...) Spreading Wavewave propaganda all around!!!

~~~

Everything they’d established was mutual. Everything was temporary.

Yet…

Soundwave worked through long cycles at a time. Although Vehicons worked as equals with said con, they would often head out in herds and murmur amongst themselves, turning towards their higher upper in ignorant secrecy. “He wouldn’t go… Workaholic… Always so quiet…” They would say and leave, yet the communication officer didn’t care. He liked it alone. He… was alone.

Being alone wasn’t too bad as Cybertronians put it to be. Sure, all sentient beings such as humans are social creatures. Why wouldn’t a biological AI be? Soundwave scoffed in silence, amused by discussions of socializing and friends, some bot to lean onto. He has no need for that, but somehow in some way, he still felt empty.

Mega-cycles prior to the events of the Civil War, he was just a gladiator within the rings of Kaon. Almost besting even the then most notorious Megatrous, and as an ex-senator, he had ways to keep himself occupied. Soundwave was as loyal as Orion Pax to Megatrous. The latter would then become the last Prime and Megatron’s archenemy, but Soundwave saw the light Megatron envisioned and showed. The Decepticon saw himself as the only one deemed inseparable from the Decepticon cause and to Megatron until he was wrong.

Shockwave… was a newcomer and was immediately impressed by this visionary. He devoted himself to the cause with the knowledge of science at the back of his servo. He was of great use; easy to bond with if you were Megatron.

… If you were Megatron… or…

Soundwave found himself side to side with Shockwave when calculating the future events that would behold on their precious planet. They hardly talked. Well, Soundwave never did, but it seems as if Shockwave could read his thought processor and always understood him no matter the situation.

They found themselves together through their work and even areas of leisure. Each one’s company filled the other with unexplainable warmth, craving it yet never so close. It was vulnerable and bitter, but also sickly sweet.

Everything they had was mutual. Everything was temporary.

Shockwave never returned to the Nemesis after their last battle at Cybertron. He assumed he sacrificed himself for the fruition of the Decepticon cause… or lost his life to a disposable Autobot. However, he kept those words to himself as he always did. He never showed his concerns. Not even the worries of a lost friend…

Thoughts of Shockwave bored into his processor as days went on.

When Shockwave did come back, Soundwave held his tempered emotions between his empty exterior, wondering still thoughts and muted feelings. As the meek Starscream and honorable Megatron discussed the whereabouts of Shockwave’s new discovery, Soundwave turned his HUD mask to that scarlet orb of a con. He stared at Shockwave, spark still alight.

Soundwave found Shockwave admiring the space of blue and violet at the Nemesis’s large interior window. Soundwave usually patrolled the corridors before heading to his berth. It was a mere task any mech can do, but he found it as an excuse to clear his mind off of the stress the crew caused numerous times, be it their own or the Autobots.

He stood by Shockwave, neither inching closer or away. He too glanced up at the night-lit aurora that passed through each universe. The stars reflected on SoundWave’s screen; it was beautiful.

“Surely my disappearance didn’t cause too much of a strain for Megatron or the faction,” Shockwave started, his free limb swayed to meet his chassis as red optic focused on Soundwave.

Soundwave shook his helm. “Negative: Decepticons, steady process.”

“You?”

“Affirmative: Soundwave… ” He stopped himself. He couldn’t start now. How uncharacteristic it would be, the silent and vicious Communication Commander, speechless for words. But even then, he wouldn’t lie to Shockwave, so why now?

“Troubled.”

Shockwave nodded the best he could for an Empurata. “I expected as much, for a high command, you are valued - for me, not as much.” His partner resisted the urge to scoff, to break the vow of silence to argue it was not. However, he said nothing. Instead, he turned to Shockwave and latched his paper-thin fingers over Shockwave’s oppositely sharp ones. They mindlessly took hold of each other’s small embrace, their figures never unmoving until their chassis touched and faceless helms pressed into gentle bliss.

As opposed to Soundwave’s cold exterior of a vision field, Shockwave was hot, radiating heat that warmed the equally cold-sparked mech. The way Soundwave cooled Shockwave’s underlying heat which never faded from Kalis and the Enforcers.

Despite this mutuality, there was indeed something. War was a terrible, terrible concept that separated many physical and mental bonds. At best, Shockwave and Soundwave never made any. Still, their existence lingered within hard metal and soft sparks.

Even if everything they had was mutual… everything was temporary, they had everything.

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