#unfortunately i have to look disrespectfully.

[flimsy-spine]

my favorite madney scenes: [22/?] ⇢ Seize the Day, 3.11

[oldworldwidgets]

as above, so below

[c1b3rly]

From the writing worries with reader and lucifer, having reader insucure about themselves and comparing themself with Lillith. What is Lillith actuslly came back and wanted to get back together with Lucifer?

━ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐃

𝐩𝐭.𝟐 𝐨𝐟 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒.

lucifer morningstar x gn! insecure! reader

summary; insecurities turn worse each time, and scaredy turned into reality when one specific woman shows herself again. How will you handle this unfortunate situation?

cw; hurt/comfort (not really), mentioning of insecurities about themselves, Lilith is bad in here (I don’t regret it), Lucifer is a poor misunderstood man, slightly angst. no proofread! use of y/n. idk what I wrote.

a/n; genuinely i don't think I took the request serious, I just wrote something based on the first part, sorry if it isn't what you wished for!

You knew this moment would happen. You just didn't wanted to embrace it.

You knew from day one that one day, Lilith would return back from her mysterious disappearance after breaking up with Lucifer.

That fear you had inside you told you from a long time, that you woudn't be better then her, you could never overcome her.

Even though Lucifer tried his best to guide you through this mental journey, you just cannot seem to get over it.

And now you have to experience your own nightmare in person.

You wished this day would never come, you thought that even though you could never be better then Lilith, that you would never have to see her in person.

Fate decided differently, now you're here, hearing from the living room of the apartment you live in with your beloved partner, one female voice you never heard before.

But you had a feeling who it is just by the way she talked to your partner and from the fact that Lucifer didn't sounded very happy about this person.

"What do you mean, why am I here? I assumed you can guess why." You heard the yet to you Unknown woman speak, by the way she talked it turned very poetic, her voice was like a siren.

It made you quite uncomfortable already, comparing your voice to a lady you don't know but have a feeling you do know.

"Lilith leave. I don't know why you're here but actually I don't even wanna know!" Lucifer said harshly, he was surely confused on why his ex-wife was here out of a sudden but actually knows what could happen if this gets worse.

10 points to you, you guessed right on who this person was, the lady herself that makes you so insecure about yourself that not even your own partner can help you through them.

"Uh no? I want my beloved man back honey, c'mon what's got you so protective?!" Lilith said annoyed and without having permission just went in into the mansion her ex-husband has, only to see you sitting on the couch looking towards the poor very shaken up.

Lucifer himself was getting worried about this, sure he was also pissed about Lilith and her behavior towards him but he knew better then anyone how you feel about yourself because of Lilith.

"Oh, who are you now?!" Lilith almost disrespectfully asked, placing a hand on her hip as she looked at you up and down which immediately made you want to disappear from the picture.

You where unsure what to say, I mean literally. And knowing the uncomfortable look in your face, your beloved partner took the lead in this one, even though you know you could stand up for yourself.

"This is my partner, Y/n." He kept the answer short and enough to answer the question his once wife asked, only for her to get more pissed about this.

"Excuse me?! You already have another? What about me huh?" She asked; acting all hurt about this, and lets be honest if Lucifer would care about her, he would feel pity for her but lowkey he only does pity her now because she makes a fool out of herself.

You could only try to calm yourself down, sure you knew the insecurities and thoughts about lucifer now deciding to leave you for Lilith are there and really effective but you cannot help but feel annoyed about this out of a sudden, which where in your side good things, not only because you're feeling not very scared right now but also because you seem to get some boost in yourself.

"What do you mean about you? You really think I wouldn't move on after you leaving me?!" Lucifer asked back, his voice raised and he tried to calm himself down because he was starting to confuse this entire situation with some book which he wished he could burn.

Lilith only gasped dramatically and looked over to you, you fidget with your fingers but your eyes showed fear and anger in them, you where angry at yourself for not speaking up and you where still scared about this all even though Lucifer himself was getting pissed about his ex-wife for you.

"Really? You choose a crybaby over me? She cannot even talk for herself!" Lilith laughed, bringing you up into the conversation fully,

And if it wouldn't be you for holding your partner back you knew this would've been bloody.

"Can you shut up for like a second?" You asked slightly loud enough to be heard and you immediately wanted to slap yourself, thinking you couldn't be talking in this situation.

"Huh?! How dare you to talk to me like tha-" Lilith practically squeaked as she yelled at you but was disrupted by your partner's yell.

"Leave! Don't you ever show yourself here again and don't think you can talk to my partner like that!" He yelled, his anger taking over a bit but he held himself back because he knew you wouldn't want to see this going wrong.

"Ugh. Whatever, hope your little crybaby is feeling guilty for not being me." Lilith said, laughing and turning around to leave again, she only wanted Lucifer back to gain back fame or some contact with her daughter that she lost herself by being stupid.

You immediately turned around and rolled yourself into a ball and tried to not make yourself look more weak then already thinking, you felt like a little child, not being able to handle yourself.

Lucifer calmed down and slammed the door shut the moment Lilith left the house and knew how his partner felt, sure enough he knew that after every word you said about yourself because of Lilith, after this moment you would need more time to heel but maybe knowing now, your beloved partner would not leave you like he said he would.

He proved that once again, he proved that he takes his words serious and would not turn his back on you, even if he tried.

"My duckling, come here." Lucifer said softly, you looked through your arms to see him with open arms in which you let yourself slip into, even if you feel like not deserving it or him.

"See? I told you, I couldn't live without you. I will protect you from everyone, even if you feel like you don't deserve it." He whispered, snuggling into you as he petted your head in comfort.

Yet again, he turned his back on the one who he was banished with, for you. He proved once again that he loves you so much, that not even his own ex-wife he shared everything with, cannot take you away from him.

© c1b3rly — 2024. works i post are not allowed to be translated, stolen, copied, or reposted on other platforms.

[mamayan]

Hi! and wow! I actually never made a request on tumblr before today. To get to the point: Tumblr is lacking in Sanemi Shinazugawa content so bad (your Yobai writing was so perfect btw!!!) I would LOVE it of you made a arranged marriage fic of reader x Sanemi or maybe a college bully sanemi x teacher reader or something ^^ im not picky but i love to see what you would do with it!! 💕XOXO

Nonnie I’m so glad you slid in my box with these treasures, like goodness I sort of want to write both, but I wouldn’t do them justice in just one ask. How’s this? If you like how I write this, throw another ask in for the arranged marriage. I’m feeling this modern AU right now♥️

College AU: Bully! Student! Sanemi Shinazugawa x Professor! Fem! Reader

tw: NSFW • Modern AU • Taboo Relationship (Student x Teacher) • Reader has hair long enough to pull and is shorter than Sanemi here • Blackmail • Spanking • Oral (M) • Fingering (F) • Rough Sex • Degradation/Mild Humiliation

“Mr. Shinazugawa, thank you for coming in today.” You sat perched like a little bird behind your desk, ass scooted as far to the edge of the seat as possible with your legs crossed. Your pencil skirt, with a slit up the leg, revealed your soft skin for his dark gaze as he lazily slides into the leather plush seat in front of your desk.

It’s just after your office hours had closed, the campus winding down for the evening as classes finished up.

Your pretty face was serious, lips set in a grim line as you faced him with your hands folded in your lap. He felt his irritation spike as your pathetic display of posturing in front of him. His face didn’t hide his disdain either, sneering at you as he leaned back and spread his arms over the back of the chair, legs spread wide as he slouches disrespectfully. “What’s up Doc,” he calls your title with hardly any care, rolling the words like one might speak to an old friend and not their college Professor. You’d earned your doctorate, unlike this trouble child turned demon.

Unfortunately you couldn’t have him expelled, the Ubuyashiki family whom owned and founded this prestigious University being on very good terms with Sanemi’s family. The only time you saw him behave with even a semblance of human decency was in front of the the chairman, but Kagaya is a young man of a calm and patient disposition, far to lenient with Sanemi by your personal standards. The man in question nothing short of a delinquent, face covered in menacing scars with his white hair gelled back, amethyst eyes being eerily similar to that of a wild animal.

Unhinged, violent, a bully.

One too many students had complained to you, some even sent to the hospital, and it was Kagaya Ubuyashiki himself who’d asked for your help personally. Explaining that Sanemi needed your assistance and guidance to find the right path. He’d buttered you up so well you’d caved and agreed to have a one on one with the vibrating feral dog before you.

“I think you have some idea of why you’re here Mr. Shinazugawa. Despite your incredible aptitude in my class, and from what I hear from my colleagues, their classes as well… you’ve not given the same courtesy towards your fellow students and professors.” It was putting it as politely as possible, because this man nearly killed the department head of Astronomy. Granted, that Professor was a dirtbag and had been bumping up grades for sexual favors from his students, but you certainly didn’t condone that sort of savagery. No matter how good it felt to see him in a wheel chair looking defeated and broken. That was only one instance though, his multiple fist fights on campus, destruction of property, and overall cruel disposition made him a hazard.

Sanemi merely rolled his eyes, smirking when he caught your eye twitch in irritation. “So what? This a fuckin’ intervention baby?” You startled at the intimate nickname, becoming enraged at his teeth baring grin. “You wanna fix me or somethin’? I might think about it if you get on your knees and suck my cock.” His snicker of amusement and wide provocative eyes were roaring to match your rage.

“If you don’t take this seriously Mr. Shinazugawa—,” the moment you stood to point a finger, he was standing too.

Towering over you, his smile gone and person radiating bloodlust. He didn’t step forward, didn’t need to if he wanted to make a point, because even just him standing doing absolutely nothing was enough to send a shiver of fear down your spine and choke on your next words.

“If I don’t take this seriously… then what Ms. PhD? Hmm? You’ll do fuckin’ what?” His voice had dropped an octave and the baritone of his timber was nothing if not damn terrifying. You briefly wondered if you’d get fired for throwing yourself out the window behind you, because this was ridiculously scary. You should’ve made Mr. Ubuyashiki stay, your confidence draining with the blood from your face. His dark expression doesn’t change, but he’s drinking in your fearful expression and cautious widening eyes with inner glee. You couldn’t see it, but the little lip quiver and your eyes getting watery had him rock hard, fully enjoying the submissive display and making his teeth ache to sink into the pretty skin you so boldly flashed when you uncrossed your legs to stand. “What’s wrong? You were so damn ready to lay into me, now you wanna be cute and quiet?” His teasing edge was more mocking and dripping with ridicule than he intended, but the affect he wanted was the same.

Stroking those flames of yours higher.

“This is highly is inappropriate—,”

“Like masturbating in your office on the weekend?” You physically freeze, face falling as horror dawns on you.

“If we want to talk about inappropriate, then why don’t you face the mirror on yourself.” His smile only grows with your anxiety.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about—,” he laughs, digging his phone quickly from his pocket and unlocking it swiftly. When he faces the screen towards you, there’s a video playing.

Of you. Doing exactly that, two fingers shoved down your skirt when you quietly pant and work yourself over, leaning against your desk. It’s way to HD and close up to be anything else but a hidden camera on your desk no less, panic flooding yourself as you swipe off the papers looking for whatever the hell held the device. All the while in your frantic search, Sanemi let the video continue at full volume, your little gasps and moans getting louder as you gasp now for air for different reasons.

It’s in your name plate. Nearly invisible but you find it and nearly tear it apart with shaking hands as you look at up at his evil face grinning down at you.

He likes that the cocky pretentious look on your face is gone. “Who’d have thought the golden Professor around here would be such a fucking slut when no one is looking. All these books and numbers must not satisfy huh?” You wanted to scream at him.

“Y-you set this up…? Why?” You couldn’t fathom it at all, why the devil incarnate would do such a nasty thing. Did he want you gone? If so, he could easily convince Ubuyashiki, so it must just be to torment you. You’d never had a confrontation with him until today though, and that video was taken weeks ago. Your pretty eyes pricked with tears could only look at him in complete disbelief.

“Why? Are you fucking kidding me right now? It seems your brain is only book smart baby, of course it’s because I wanted to.” His sneering grin is absolute in it’s intention to hurt. Even as tears spill and you’re forced to reconcile not only are you likely getting fired from your dream job, but he’s probably going to spread it all over the Internet. You’d never get hired anywhere else if that gets out. It’s not like it’s revenge porn or something like that, it’s clearly your office on campus during work hours.

“Looks like I’m not the only freak around here, isn’t that right Doctor?” He moves now, shutting the video off and sliding his phone back in his pocket, stepping around your desk towards you. You don’t have much room to step back before you’re up against the wall. His body boxing you in as his arms shoot out and palms slap flat on either side of your head, your flinch goes ignored as he leans down nearly close enough to kiss you.

He smells like something sweet, juxtaposed to his cruel and serious expression.

“You wanna keep your job and dignity?” You don’t want to let the tears fall, but they do.

You nod anyway, even as you pathetically sniffle and glare up at him hatefully. It’s got all the venom of a bunny to him.

“Then get on your knees. I wasn’t fuckin’ kidding earlier.”

You hate him and yourself. You told yourself this job was stressful, justified your dirty secret, but it ended up being the nail in your coffin. This would be another though.

“B-but you’re my student…”

“It didn’t stop you from fucking your fingers in here, so I don’t really see a problem.” It’s like you swallowed a lead weight as you move to kneel like he asked, not looking at him even as he refuses to give you more space, still leaning against the wall behind you.

It gives him a great view to look down on you, your form quaking and so unwilling he wanted to laugh. You were acting tough still.

His pants are baggy and loose, the denim waist band barely on his hips and you can see up his shirt now, the hard lines of muscle on his torso and soft smatter of hair down his navel into his waist band.

He’s not wearing boxers.

“I suggest you fuckin’ hurry before I start looking for somethin’ to post to end my boredom.” His words light a fire under you, hands moving swiftly and desperately now. It has him grinning savagely, watching you easily pull his pants down and expose his hard leaking cock to the cool air.

He lets you pause for a second, feasting on the hesitation and awe you express as you lightly grip him. Your fingers don’t touch all the way around. It drives him wild as he bucks his hips, hissing in pleasure as you finally lick his tip tentatively.

“A bitch who fucks herself in her office doesn’t kitten lick cock,” his threat is there, and you force yourself to open up and take him in your hot mouth.

He’s loud as he moans, and when you cringe back from his little thrust deeper into your mouth, he steps forward to press you back against the wall. Seeing you pinned, looking up at him with your mouth full of his cock, almost makes him cum on the spot.

Almost.

Instead he pulls out slowly, your hands on his thighs as if that’ll stop him from going too deep. When it’s only his tip in, he slams back forward, laughing at your tears spilling and mouth sputtering around him. Your throat gagging and constricting as he stretches the thin tight airway until it burns, pulling back slowly again and repeating until all you can think about is the cock in your throat and the scent of something sweet, like a confectionery.

He didn’t think it’d feel so good. The sight of you deep throating him and the feeling of your mouth on his cock far too amazing to stop himself from an early ejaculation.

Unfortunately for you, he comes a lot. Thick ropes of cum shoot down your throat, the surprise of it causing you to cough, making some of it go up and out your nose as the jolt of pain brings a fresh wave of tears.

“Fuck—, you better swallow all of it,” he all but snarls down at you, looking feral and rabid as he works his hips and cock around in your mouth while you struggle to obey.

When he pulls out finally, load emptied in your stomach, his hand reaches down and grips your jaw. The force of it making your sore jaw and mouth open back up, and it’s too late to close before his spit lands on your tongue. You try to jerk away, to spit it out as the humiliation washes over you, but he’s stronger. Forcing your head back against the wall, he clamps your jaw shut, laughing as you nearly bite through your own tongue in frustration.

“Don’t piss me off, fuckin’ swallow it.” You like him more when he’s being teasing and mean, not this serious Sanemi which invokes fear and commands your obedience.

You swallow, hatefully you swallow and even more hatefully curse him in your mind because you were aroused. Painfully aching and panties soaked to your embarrassment. He smiles, not the twisted kind but approvingly, as you listen. The indignant and humiliated look on your face absolutely adorable covered in your own tears and his cum. He’s nice not to make you wipe it off and lick it up this time.

“Stand up,” he doesn’t wait for you to follow, sure that you’ll try and take your sweet ass time and he sadly only has half and hour left with you by appointment standards. You were after all the most beloved Professor on campus, and many people wanted your time. He wasn’t different in that sense, but he also isn’t content to play the part of a good student and wait for you to fall in love with him like some stupid romance movie.

He’d much rather you like this.

Sanemi manhandles you until he’s seated in your desk chair, pulling you into his lap, back against his chest. You aren’t given time to protest when he yanks up your skirt and uses his thick thighs to spread your own.

Feeling him against you like this, you realize he’s all muscle. Not a soft spot to be found, as he tears off your underwear next, exposing your cunt to the cool air as you feel his cock hardening again beneath your ass.

“S-Sanemi—!?” He opens your cute little blouse up next, batting your hands away easily to yank your bra down and reveal your breasts and hardened nipples.

“Fuck you’re soaked, you like suckin’ my cock that much?” He ignores your whine of protest, your efforts to stop him minimal and half hearted, especially when he lets his rough thick fingers trail through the copious arousal dripping from your pussy right now. “Should I have kept going? See if you’d cum just from fucking your mouth?” He cups your face and turns your head to look at him, unable to stop the hoarse moan that leaves you when he sinks a finger inside your tight heat. “Y-you’re wrong…” you still stubbornly glare and argue back, eyes still sparked with defiance he found delicious.

“Oh? So this isn’t from sucking my cock? Then what’s it from, watching yourself get off again in this office? You a fuckin’ exhibitionist or something?” He’s teasing as he slowly pumps his finger in and out of you, the wet noises echoing in your office and stifling your next words as you pant and weakly grip behind you onto his shirt.

“If that’s the case, I don’t mind turning us around and drawing back the curtains…” he speaks the words softly, right into your ear as he licks the shell of it, your pussy clamping down hard on his finger. Your office faced the main part of campus, even in the evening students and teachers walked that area.

He chuckles, “You really like the sound of that, don’t you whore?” You gasp as he adds a second, gritting your teeth to stop the sounds of pleasure from spilling freely.

“Fu-fuck you—!” Your words drip venom, but he only sighs, as if disappointed in your answer. Shaking his head as if there’s nothing he can do about it.

“That’s the point baby, I’m going to fuck you,” he effortlessly lifts you up with one arm around your middle, the iron bar that is his arm suffocating as you struggle. He slips his fingers out, the gooey trail of slick connecting his fingers to your pussy making his cock twitch as he rubs the leftovers on the tip, slicking himself up as he lines himself with your entrance.

“Just like this,” he lets gravity do the work, and you’re so wet it slides in despite the a sting and ache of the stretch, his girth splitting you.

“Hah!” You try to jerk off, but he keeps your from doing so with his arm still wrapped around you, groaning as your pussy begins to spasm and tighten up painfully.

“Holy fuck are you coming? Shitttt,” He’s delirious with pleasure, your orgasm wrecking you both as you twitch and moan, struggling to even breathe as your body betrays your mind. It feels too good. All of it. Your legs spread wide and his cock in full view splitting you open as you cum around him. He can’t stop himself from rutting up into you, cursing your gummy walls as they massage and strangle his dick, pumping his cock as your pussy gushes slick.

“Shit you really are a slut, to cum all over your student’s cock like a bitch in heat, and I’ve hardly touched you, ah,” his head tilts back, both hands now anchoring your hips as he bounces you, tip hitting your deepest parts as you cry and moan. Quick to be overwhelmed and overstimulated.

When his balls draw tight, he shoves you off him roughly, forcing you to hit the desk as he pushes your face down into the homework you had been grading earlier. He hunches over you, sliding back inside from behind as he yanks your hips up when your legs try to buckle.

“Not fuckin’ done with you—!” He looks enraged, face flushed bright red as he pants, watching his thick cock get swallowed over and over again inside you. “Not done ever actually,” he laughs, moving his hand off your face to sink into your hair, gripping a fist full and yanking your head back. Your cries are no longer muffled, your tear and drool covered face now sporting a few ink stains as he really begins bucking his hips, using your hair as leverage to keep you in place.

Your body seizes up again, another hard orgasm rushing up as Sanemi lands a sharp slap against your right ass cheek. Then the left side. “Fuck yes, clench your pussy just like that!” He’s speaking through his teeth, hissing in pleasure as he paints your ass with his hand, loving how tight you get on impact and how wet you are.

“Sanemi—m’gonna cum—!” Your tongue feels swollen as you speak, mumbling out your words as your peak approaches. You aren’t even thinking anymore, his cock turning you stupid as he grunts and continues his savage pace.

“Bet it’s been forever,” he laughs, “—no, I bet you’ve never had this pretty pussy fucked like this before, have you?” You’re out of it, too drunk on the high to comprehend his words. “Don’t worry baby, I’m gonna fuck you like this everyday, you’re not ever gonna forget how it feels for me to fill this pussy—!” He flinches as you cum, moaning long and loud as his cock succumbs to the pleasure and he follows you close after. His balls taunt with tension as his dick works to fill you up just like he said.

He lets you drop back to the desk as he pants, skin sweaty as he wipes his forehead and looks down at you.

You’re heaving too, limp and drooling as you recover slower than him. Your clothes completely in disarray as you lay mostly exposed. He lets his dick slide out slowly, softening just a little and helping him ease out as he watches a well of white begin to ooze out of you and onto the fancy pristine wood flooring below, your legs trembling in the cute black heels you sported.

Sanemi reaches over you wordlessly, to the potted plant which has decorated your desk even longer than your new name plate.

He pockets the little camera hidden in it, before he starts yanking up his pants and fixing his clothes.

As he walks around your desk, he looks down just as you look up. His smile disgusting as he quietly says, “Thanks for the fun. I’ll see you the same time tomorrow Ms. Slut,” he laughs at the rage bleeding into your eyes again.

He’ll enjoy re-watching your first time together tonight when he can get the footage uploaded to his computer. Tomorrow he’ll be sure to take you from a new angle.

[lovessidney]

You're worth finding

Please note that this explicit story was written by an adult, for adults. If you are under the age of 18, please do not interact.

Trigger warning: Alcohol abuse.

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Pronouns: none, I think (anatomy: AFAB).

Requested by: @xpsidedownn

Summary: You and Gerard get into a terrible fight. They’re drinking in a worrying kind of way and all you want is to help them, but it doesn’t go down the way you want it to. You spend the evening looking for them and in the end, you make up.

A/n: This request has taken me aaaaaaaaages, and I’m so so so sorry. I’ve had the worst writers block and have been working my ass off both with uni and actual work. But it’s finally done. 

Also, I'm switching up my writing. So, if you’ve read anything of mine maybe you’ve seen I’ve always written in third-person perspective. I don’t know why. However, that led to a lot of names, pronouns and (y/n)s, so I’ve decided to try first-person perspective. I hope y’all like it.

Second ”also”, I’m in no way trying to glamorise alcohol abuse, and I tried to be respectful about it. I fully understand it’s a very real disease and I’m in no way trying to portray it unfairly or disrespectfully. Still; if any of you feel like I’ve gotten something wrong or find it disrespectful, please let me know and I will do my best to alter the story or simply remove it.

Your timer beeped, letting you know it was time to start boiling pasta. The sauce to accompany it was already simmering in a pot beside the one now containing pasta. It smelled wonderful, you had to admit.

Gerard had had a very rough week, stressing a lot for tonight’s gig. In an ordinary situation, you would’ve been there to support them, as well as the rest of the band. Unfortunately, you had one hell of a cold and had spent most of the past few days in bed, accompanied by various medicines and wads of paper tissues.

Despite it all, you wanted to do something nice for Gerard. Dinner and a movie, at home edition. So you had made your way to the local supermarket, getting ingredients for their favourite pasta dish, as well as snacks and an unusually nice bottle of red wine.

When you got home, you had a shower and even dressed up just a little bit nicer than usual. And now you stood in the kitchen, just finishing up the last of the dinner preparations.

You looked toward the table. There were candles lit, a fresh bouquet of roses, and two glasses of red wine. Soft music played in the background, adding to the soft and romantic atmosphere.

You could hear a key being inserted into the lock. Or at least, it sounded like someone was trying to unlock the door. A few moments passed, and the struggle persisted. Your mind started wandering. It wasn’t the first time this happened. And as good as every time it did, Gerard was drunk beyond belief.

Your heart sank, and immediately your mood changed. You weren’t angry. Not at all. You were just worried about them. They had been drinking much more, and much more often lately. You knew something was wrong. Gerard probably knew it too, deep down somewhere. But they weren’t in a place to accept that or accept help. Not right now.

A few more moments passed by, and you decided to go let them in yourself. They almost fell inside as you opened the door. Clearly, they had been leaning against it while trying to find the right key and unlock the door.

You caught them in your arms and immediately smelled the alcohol on their breath. You wrapped your arms around them, holding them close. Even if this wasn’t what you had imagined, you were glad to have them home.

For a while, you just stood there, arms wrapped around each other. “Hi, honey,” you finally said and kissed them when you had let go of each other.

“Hi, you,” they answered, slightly swaying on the spot as you let go of them.

You tried not to let your brow furrow with concern as you looked at them. Still, they noticed. “It smells really nice. Have you been cooking?” they asked, in an attempt to cheer you up. But they were still swaying, their words were slurred, and it just broke your heart. It would’ve been one thing if they were drunk but otherwise in good spirits, but that sadness in their eyes worried you. You know that they hadn’t gotten drunk to celebrate another good gig, but rather to escape something, and it just killed you.

You smiled at them. “Thanks, Gee. Are you hungry?” you asked while lacing your fingers together. They nodded tiredly. You led them to the kitchen. It wasn’t many steps from the hallway to the kitchen, but they still almost crashed into a wall on your way there.

In the end, you decided just to sit them down on one of the chairs and serve them their food before getting your own. Before you sat down, Gerard had already emptied their glass of wine. You could feel the tears prickling behind your eyes.

“Honey, has something happened?” you asked them. Usually, they got drunk, but when they came home to you, they tried to dial it down. Not this time, though.

They looked at you with tired, empty eyes and said nothing. They just reached for the bottle and poured another glass. It was more than what you would usually pour into a glass of that kind. Especially for a somewhat romantic dinner. They lifted the glass to their lips.

“Gee, please, you have to talk to me,” you somewhat pleaded, somewhat demanded.

Gerard’s gaze flickered from the glass to you, their eyes clouded with a mixture of sadness and anger. “Talk? About what?” Their words were sharp, and their tone laced with bitterness.

“About what’s been going on, Gerard. You’ve been drinking so much lately, and I’m scared. Something’s not right, and I want to help you.”

They scoffed, their laughter tinged with bitter irony. “Oh, now you’re an expert on my life, huh? You think you know what’s best for me?”

You shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes as you struggled to make them understand. “No, Gerard, I don’t think I know what’s best for you. But I can’t just stand here and watch you destroy yourself. You’re drowning in this, and I don’t know how to help you if you won’t let me in.”

Gerard pushed themselves up from the chair, their legs scraping against the floor with an awful screech. Their face contorted with frustration and they jabbed a finger in your direction. “You think I’m the problem? You think I need to be fixed, like some broken toy?”

Your voice trembled as you tried to reason with them. “No, Gerard, you’re not a problem to be fixed. You’re a person who’s hurting, and I love you. I just want you to talk to me, to let me in. Please.”

They took a step toward you, their eyes blazing with a mix of anger and despair. “You don’t get it, do you? You can’t fix me! No one can. So stop trying!”

The weight of their words hung in the air, suffocating the room. You felt tears streaming down your face as you watched them walk out the door, leaving you alone in the dimly lit room, with the remnants of your romantic dinner and a heavy sense of helplessness hanging in the air.

The plates and the rest of the supposed-to-be romantic dinner sat on the table, untouched, a stark contrast to the emotional turmoil that had just unfolded. You knew that you couldn’t force Gerard to talk or change their ways. They had to want to change for themselves.

With a heavy heart, you got up and began cleaning up the kitchen. The candles you had lit earlier flickered softly as you extinguished them one by one. The roses in the bouquet still looked beautiful, but their presence seemed bittersweet now.

After cleaning up the kitchen, you found yourself sitting alone in the dimly lit room. Tears had streaked your cheeks, leaving trails of sadness in their wake. The bottle of wine on the table tempted you, almost like a silent, soothing friend. But you knew that indulging in it wouldn’t be right, not after what the fight had been about. So, you chose cold water to quench both your thirst and your emotions.

Sipping the water, you gazed out of the window at the dark night sky. Memories of what romantic dinners used to be flooded your mind. The laughter, the shared dreams, the way Gerard’s eyes used to light up when you surprised them with their favourite meal. You held onto those memories like a lifeline, knowing that someday, you’d find your way back to that happiness. And with that, you also knew that you had to find Gerard, wherever they had gone off to. 

With determination in your heart and a sense of purpose, you headed out into the night, leaving your home behind. The city around you was bathed in the soft glow of streetlights, casting long shadows on the empty streets. The echoes of your argument with Gerard still reverberated in your mind, but you refused to let despair consume you.

You got into your car and just drove, without any plan at all, as if you hoped Gerard would just turn up. You drove through the darkened streets, memories of your time together replaying in your mind. The city held so many moments – moments of joy and love. You remembered the motel where you had stayed temporarily when you last moved, a place that despite everything held many good memories and lots of hope for the future.

Though you didn’t know why, something deep inside you told you that Gerard might be there. Maybe it was a sense of nostalgia, a longing for a time when things were simpler, a time when you were each other’s everything.

As you pulled up to the motel, you felt a surge of both anxiety and anticipation. You hesitated for a moment, your hand gripping the car’s steering wheel, before finally stepping out into the night.

The motel was just as you remembered it – a nondescript building with a neon sign flickering intermittently. You parked the car and took a deep breath, unsure of what you would find inside.

Entering the dimly lit lobby, you approached the reception desk, your heart pounding with uncertainty. The tired-looking motel clerk glanced up from a magazine, offering a weary smile. “Can I help you?”

You hesitated for a moment, then decided to ask. “Has someone named Gerard checked in here?”

The clerk raised an eyebrow, seeming uninterested at first. But then, after a moment of thought, he nodded slowly. “Yeah, there was a guy who checked in about an hour ago, they looked pretty out of it. Room 205.”

Your heart skipped a beat. It was as if a surge of hope had washed over you. You thanked the clerk and stepped outside again, looking for room 205.

Gerard was sitting outside the door of 205, a pack of beer beside them and a cigarette to their lips. They looked absolutely miserable.

As you walked closer, Gerard looked up at you. They blinked a few times, just to make sure what they were seeing was true. They fumbled for words for a moment. “How did you find me?” they said, their words slightly slurred. “I don’t know honey. Something just told me you’d be here.”

You sat down beside Gerard and leaned your head on their shoulder. They held the cigarette out for you to take a drag, and they looked at you while you did. “You���re so pretty,” they said with sad, bloodshot eyes. 

“Gerard honey, so are you. You’re my darling.” You placed a soft kiss on their cheek. “I’m so sorry I got angry before honey. I just get worried about you.” 

Gerard looked at you with big eyes. “I’m sorry too. I know you’re just looking out for me. I know I’m hard to love sometimes.” You carefully pushed a strand of hair from Gerard’s face. “You’re not hard to love, honey, I love you the most in the entire world. I just want you to be okay.”

You just sat there together for a moment, taking turns with the cigarette. You leaned your head on Gerard’s shoulder again, just wanting to be close.

The night air was cool against your skin as you and Gerard sat there, side by side, sharing the cigarette. Time seemed to slow down, the weight of the argument and the tension from earlier dissipating in the shared moment of calm.

Gerard’s fingers brushed against yours as they took another drag from the cigarette. Their gaze remained fixed on the distant horizon as if searching for answers in the darkness. “I don’t want to be this way, you know,” Gerard finally confessed, their voice a mixture of vulnerability and regret.

You squeezed their hand gently, offering reassurance. “I know, Gerard. It’s not easy, but you’re not alone. We’ll face it together.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of Gerard’s lips. “You always know how to make me feel better,” they whispered, their words carried away by the breeze. “That’s what I’m here for,” you replied softly, leaning your head against their shoulder once more. “We’ll get through this.”

After a while, the cigarette burned down to its last embers, and Gerard extinguished it against the pavement. They turned their head to look at you, their eyes filled with a mixture of gratitude and affection. “You’re my rock, you know?” You chuckled, a warm feeling spreading through your chest. “And you’re mine. The ups and the downs, they’re all part of who you are.”

Gerard leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, a tender affirmation of your connection. “Let’s go home,” they said softly, their hand finding yours. Together, you stood up, leaving behind the worries and strife of the evening.

Back in the car, as you drove through the quiet streets toward your apartment, a comfortable silence enveloped you. Gerard’s hand rested on your thigh, their fingers tracing absent patterns as if seeking comfort in just touching you. The city lights twinkled in the distance, a reminder that life continued beyond the challenges you faced.

When you arrived home, you led Gerard inside, the familiarity of the space providing a sense of grounding. Gerard’s band posters adorned the walls, a testament to their musical passion. You once again settled in the kitchen. Gerard looked at you with a mixture of exhaustion and gratitude. “Thank you for finding me,” they said softly. “You’re worth finding,” you replied, a gentle smile curving your lips.

“How about some tea?” you suggested. “And maybe some toast as well?” Gerard’s eyes lit up for a moment. “Are you sure? It’s late, and you probably want to sleep, and-” “Nonsense,” you said, retrieving the tea and a kettle. “Anything to help you feel better. And I’ve heard eating bread is good when you’ve had alcohol.”

You put a record on, and soon, the kettle whistled, and you poured the steaming water into cups, the soothing scent of chamomile enveloped the room. With a plate of warm toast in hand, you settled on the couch, passing Gerard a cup of tea and a slice of toast. They took a sip and let out a contented sigh. 

“You really know how to make everything better,” they said with a soft smile.

“It’s a talent,” you quipped, a playful grin on your face. Gerard leaned in, their lips meeting yours in a soft kiss. 

“I love you,” they murmured against your mouth.

“I love you too,” you whispered back, your heart feeling full and light.

As you both savoured the tea and sandwiches, the world outside faded into the background. At that moment, it was just you and Gerard, a testament to the strength of your bond and the willingness to weather the storms together. The scars of the evening were healing, replaced by a renewed sense of hope and the knowledge that love could conquer even the darkest of moments.

You sat together, mostly in silence, listening to the soft tunes the record player emitted. An array of candles glimmered on the table in front of you. Gerard had had almost all of their tea, while yours remained mostly untouched. 

Despite having them back here with you, you still worried. You loved them so much, and all you wanted was for them to be okay. And the one thing you wanted least of all was to be angry. Sure, you knew that anger wasn’t the real emotion. The real emotion was worry, and feeling powerless, not able to protect them. And for some terrible reason that sometimes morphed into anger. The ugly, secondary emotion.

You looked over at Gerard, sitting curled up under a blanket at the opposite end of the sofa. They looked tired. Both as in that they needed to sleep, but also tired as in worn down, as in that they were having a hard time. You scooted closer and stretched your arms around them. A smile played on their lips for a moment. You allowed them to set their mug of tea down before pulling them into your arms. “Come here, honey.” They gladly fell into your arms and cuddled up there.

You sat together like that for a long time. You listened to Gerard’s breath and carefully stroked their hair. The record had come to its end, and the only sounds were now your breathing and Gerard’s yawns.

“Do you want to go to bed, darling?” you asked when you noticed the yawns becoming more frequent. They looked up at you, their eyes now tired instead of glazed over.

They nodded sleepily. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

The slurring was almost entirely gone now, and when Gerard walked to the bedroom, they didn’t stumble anymore.

“Okay, I’ll be right there, honey,” you said with a smile their way before collecting the dishes and taking them to the kitchen. After the dishes were set down, you got a glass from the cupboard and filled it almost to the brim with water before bringing it to Gerard in the bedroom.

They were already lying in bed, looking like they’d fall asleep any moment. You reached out the glass of water to Gerard. “Have some water, Gee, I think it’ll make you feel slightly better in the morning.”

They nodded and reached for the glass. A few sips later, they put the glass down on the nightstand and reached out for you. You were too tired to properly hang your clothes up and simply threw them on the chair in the corner of the bedroom. You slipped under the covers and cuddled up close to Gerard. For a moment, you just lay there, looking at each other.

You scooted closer and nuzzled your nose against Gerard’s. Carefully, Gerard reached their hand up to caress your cheek. “I love you, honey,” you whispered. A small smile played on their lips. “I love you the most in the entire world, actually. And I’ll never stop loving you. You know that, Gerard?”

Gerard nodded carefully. “I love you too. And I’m sorry about before.”

That sadness reached Gerard’s eyes again. Just as before, it shattered your heart. You didn’t even know what to say, so you just leaned in to kiss them. ”You don’t have to apologise honey. I’m just glad to have you home again.” And with that, you kissed them again.

As the weight of the evening’s events began to lift, and the warmth of reconciliation and love enveloped you both, the bedroom felt like a sanctuary. The soft glow of the bedside lamp illuminated your faces as you continued to exchange kisses.

The kisses were soft at first, a gentle exploration of each other’s lips. Your fingers traced the contours of Gerard’s face, eliciting a soft sigh of contentment from them. Their hands moved slowly, too, caressing your back and shoulders as the intimacy between you deepened.

You couldn’t help but smile between kisses, the connection between you growing stronger with each passing moment. The taste of chamomile tea lingered on Gerards lips, adding a sweet and comforting layer to your kisses. In the dim light, you gazed into Gerard’s eyes, searching for any lingering traces of sadness. 

Their gaze met yours with a newfound intensity, a desire to be present in the moment, to be close, to feel cherished.

The tenderness of your kisses gradually gave way to a more passionate longing. Your breaths quickened as your mouths moved together with an urgency that mirrored the intensity of your emotions. Fingers began to trace the curves of bodies, exploring the familiar terrain of each other’s skin.

Gerard’s soft moans filled the room, a symphony of desire and affection. The layers of clothing became an obstacle, one that you both eagerly discarded, exposing the vulnerability and beauty of your bodies.

Skin against skin, your bodies entwined, the warmth of Gerard pressed against you. You savoured every sensation, every touch, every kiss. The scent of your shared perfume, the taste of Gerard on your tongue, the feeling of their soft hair under your fingertips. The slow and gentle movements, the tender caresses, the breathless sighs and soft cries of pleasure.

Gerards hands left their place on the small of your beck and found their way upwards, one cupping your breast and one around your shoulders to pull you closer. They caressed you carefully and you could feel them growing harder against you.

You ground your hips against Gerard, seeking the friction that you both craved, urging them to continue the exploration. They obliged willingly, moving downwards from your breasts to your stomach, leaving a trail of kisses and licks as they went.

Their warm breath ghosted over your body, making you shudder with anticipation. Their eyes were fixed on you, observing every twitch and moan of pleasure as their tongue made contact with your inner thigh. They were teasing you, taking their time, enjoying the moment.

Your body ached for more, desperate for their touch, but instead, they continued their leisurely exploration of your skin. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they kissed you there. You could feel yourself dripping as they slipped a finger inside you.

Gerards lips closed around your clit and they sucked softly. A strangled cry escaped your lips as they slid another finger inside you, curling it to find your most sensitive spot.

It was too much and not enough at the same time, your senses were overwhelmed by Gerard. You gripped the sheets tightly, arching your back as they continued their ministrations. 

Their mouth on your clit, their fingers inside you, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Your breath came in ragged gasps, your legs trembled, and your whole body tensed as the pleasure built up. Gerards lips pulled back from your clit and their tongue pressed down against it.

"Oh god, Gerard...," you gasped as they worked their fingers inside you. The slow and deep movements made you dizzy with pleasure, and you couldn't help but grind against their hand. "I want you."

Your words had an instant effect on Gerard. They looked up at you, eyes gleaming with excitement. "Tell me what you want." It was not teasing or demeaning the way they said it. You knew it just turned them on so much to hear you say it.

You could barely speak through the waves of pleasure coursing through you, but you knew exactly what you wanted. "I want you to fuck me, Gerard. I love you so much and I want you to fuck me"

They nodded, removing their hand from your body and getting onto their knees. The sight of them in this position was almost too much for you to handle. They looked down at you, gaze full of desire and affection. "I'd be happy to, darling."

Gerard positioned themselves between your legs, entering you slowly, inch by inch, filling you with pleasure. Their thrusts were deep and deliberate, making you shudder with joy every time they bottomed out inside you. You wrapped your legs around their waist, pulling them closer, urging them to continue.

You could feel the warmth of their skin against yours as they moved inside you, the sensation sending tingles down your spine. Their kisses became more urgent, their movements faster, but still maintaining their steady rhythm.

As the heat between you intensified, the sound of your moans and gasps filled the room. Gerard looked down at you, their gaze full of love and tenderness. They kissed your lips again, eliciting a moan of pleasure from you. "I love you, my sweet," they murmured, their voice hoarse with pleasure.

Your climax was building quickly, the pressure inside you rising to unbearable heights. You threw your head back and rambled their name over and over as the wave of ecstasy crashed down on you, sending shockwaves through your body. They continued to move inside you, prolonging your orgasm until you couldn't take it anymore.

"Gerard, I... oh god, I can't..." You sobbed in pleasure as your body began to tremble.

They understood your need and stopped moving, letting you ride out the waves of pleasure that still made waves in your body. Gerard stayed still until your breathing steadied and you smiled up at them. You blinked at them for a moment, just taking in their beauty.

You pulled them downwards for a soft kiss before gently rolling them onto their back. They looked up at you with a confused expression, clearly not expecting this development.

"My turn," you whispered, kissing them again. "I want to make love to you."

Your lips found their way down their neck and chest, leaving a trail of kisses in their wake. You enjoyed the taste of their skin, savouring the salty sweetness of their sweat as you moved lower. Their breaths quickened with excitement as your mouth found their nipples. You flicked your tongue over their hardening nub and they moaned softly in pleasure.

You continued your descent, trailing kisses across their stomach until you reached their cock. You glanced up at them, smiling as you pressed your mouth against the warm skin above it. The smell of their arousal was strong, and you could feel yourself becoming even wetter with anticipation of another round.

Their hips rose to meet you as you kissed them there, so soft and tender. Your hands wrapped around their cock, stroking them slowly, watching them shiver under your touch. "Oh god, that feels so good." They were beautiful like this, eyes closed, back arched, body responding to your every touch. You loved seeing them in the throes of passion, unable to contain their pleasure, giving into the sensations of your touch and tongue.

Your lips continued to move lower, kissing their inner thighs and sensitive areas that made them quiver. You took your time, enjoying the moment as you licked and sucked, exploring every inch of their skin until you reached the base of their cock.

Gerard looked down at you, gasping for breath, watching with wonder as you took them into your mouth. Your tongue was quick and deliberate, licking and sucking just the right way to make them see stars. They moaned as you took them deep inside your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and moving your head back and forth.

Their hips rose to meet you again, fingers tangling in your hair, guiding you deeper and deeper. You were happy to oblige, taking them all inside you until they gasped for air.

"Oh my god," they murmured, shivering as you continued to suck. "That feels incredible."

You hummed in agreement, the vibrations of your voice making them twitch and groan in pleasure. The sensation was delicious, and you knew it wouldn't take long before they came undone under your tongue. You loved seeing them fall apart like this, falling into your mouth and arms as you held them close.

Gerard pulled you upwards for another kiss. You moved closer, pressing your body against theirs, kissing their neck and chest as they struggled to breathe. Their skin was warm and flushed, radiating pleasure and affection. They were gorgeous like this, so needy and desperate for more.

You felt the heat rising between you again, bodies grinding together, their cock hard and aching for more. You kissed them again, pulling them into a deep and hungry kiss that left them gasping for breath before positioning yourself over them.

"Are you ready?" You whispered, gazing down at them with a gentle expression on your face.

They nodded, wrapping their arms around your waist. "Please, my love."

Their eyes fluttered closed as you lowered yourself onto their cock. You took your time, letting the feeling of fullness take over your body.

You began to move slowly, taking long deep breaths as you rose and fell, building a rhythm that soon became urgent and frantic. Their hands roamed over your skin, caressing your breasts and back. The warmth between you intensified and you both gasped for air as you continued to move, bodies sweaty and entwined.

The pressure inside you grew unbearable again, and you knew it wouldn't be long before you came undone. You looked down at Gerard, their gaze filled with wonder and lust. Their moans were beautiful, soft and desperate, their body trembled and shuddered under your touch.

"I'm so close," they murmured, throwing their head back against the pillow and urging you to move faster, chasing the orgasm that threatened to consume them. "Honey, please... I need more.”

You quickened your movements, grinding against them, making them cry out in pleasure as their cock buried inside you. They looked up at you, their eyes pleading with you for release.

"Oh god, my love...," they whimpered, climax building rapidly. You could feel it coming closer, their body on the edge of ecstasy under you. You were so close yourself, the pressure inside you rising to unbearable heights, almost too much for you to take.

"I'm with you, honey," you murmured, lips moving against theirs as you spoke.

Gerard closed their eyes and moaned softly, their body shaking and trembling under yours. Their release was beautiful, making you gasp with pleasure as you joined them in their orgasm. Your bodies were still tangled together when you opened your eyes again. You couldn't help but smile, breathless and sweaty from lovemaking.

You leaned over them, planting soft kisses all over their face, cherishing the moment, taking in the beauty of them. They wrapped their arms around you, holding you close, stroking your hair and whispering sweet words into your ear.

"Oh my love," they murmured, squeezing your hand. "I’m so lucky to have you."

Your eyes began to brim with tears, happiness bubbling up inside you. "I'm just as lucky to have you," you whispered, leaning in for a tender kiss. "I love you."

Their gaze was full of affection and tenderness, their fingers intertwined with yours. "I love you too," they whispered. "You are my world."

In the soft afterglow, Gerard cuddled up in your arms and you held them close, carefully running your fingers through their hair. The room was bathed in the gentle hues of the rising sun, casting a warm, golden light upon your entwined bodies.

You both knew this wasn’t a magical solution, and that Gerard would still have their ups and downs, it was going to be an uphill battle at times. But for now, everything felt good, and it felt like it was going to be better.

You smiled down at Gerard who had almost fallen asleep on your chest. You kissed the top of their head softly and pulled them closer. The sound of their breathing made you calm, and soon the both of you had fallen asleep.

I hate to sound like a YouTuber (no offence, lol) but thank you for reading if you made it all the way here. I hope you liked it. And don’t hesitate to send me any requests you might have. I have a lot to do right now, but I still like to hear new ideas. Okay, thanks a lot!

[starlightshadowsworld]

Hold on (I still need you)

Or Bsd except Kyouka doesn't survive.

The plane crashes into the Moby Dick, just as planned. But Demon Snow isn't able to free her in time.

Her sacrifice saves all of Yokohama from destruction. But the only thing anyone can hear are Atsushi's screams.

Akutugawa is caught off guard. He doesn't know what to say, looking at the approaching Dazai and Fukuzawa.

To do something.

Seeking recognition from his former mentor doesn't even cross his mind. The screams of the grieving weretiger are all he can focus on at this time.

"For what it's worth, I think Dazai acknowledged you a long time ago."

But even Dazai, Dazai who always has a remark, an answer for everything, stands stunned. For once in his life, he has no words as he stares at his subordinate.

It only makes Akutugawa more concerned.

Atsushi's screams die down, having noticed the Agency members approach. He turns and looks them both in the eye, while his own blaze with anger.

"Did you know?! Did you plan this?!"

Akutagawa is take aback. He thought he'd bared the brunt of Atsushi's anger, but never had he witnessed him like this.

In any other scenario he'd have scolded the other for speaking so disrespectfully to Dazai.

And yet, he stays silent.

"This was meant to be Kyouka's entrance exam." Explains Dazai, finding his words. He and Fukuzawa take it in turns explaining the events that lead them up to here.

Including her unfortunate passing.

Through it all, Atsushi remains silent. To the point the trio get concerned he isn't listening to them at all.

Dazai reaches out to him but quicker than any of them can blink, Atsushi swats his hand away.

"Was this just a game too you?!"

"Atsushi"

"What, you were gonna dangle the keys to freedom infront of her face and see what would happen?! Is that what you were doing?!"

Dazai shakes his head.

"This was the only solution, even Ranpo knew it was the only way."

Atsushi looks down.

"In every calculation, she survived... None of us saw this coming. If we did we would've changed it all." Said Dazai, putting his hands in his pockets and looking out to the setting sun.

"But we can't predict the future, we didn't predict this." He looks back at Atsushi. "This is not your fault."

Atsushi shakes his head.

"Atsushi"

"She's gone! Kyouka's gone and I let her die!"

Dazai frowns, frankly he'd rather Atsushi throw his words back at him. He would rather Atsushi took his anger out on him, on a plan that had failed.

Rather than taking his anger out on himself.

Atsushi wraps his arms around himself, making himself look smaller. Just like he had in the werehouse, on the the night they met.

"People have been calling me a good for nothing for as long as I can remember."

He looks out towards the skyline. "She trusted me. I gave her hope and she..." Dazai shakes his head a soft smile on his face.

"You found a wandering soul in the dark and you showed her the light. You gave her the best day ever, one she treasured so much. You gave her so much Atsushi, more than you'll ever know."

He puts a hand on Atsushi's shoulder, this time Atsushi doesn't push him away.

"Kyouka made her decision, and she wanted to pass the exam. She has passed the exam, she's a member of the agency. She wouldn't have had that courage if it wasn't for you."

Atsushi shakes his head.

"I gave her hope and let her die in the dark. I promised her, that I would be there for her no matter what...I let her die."

He puts a hand in his pocket and drops its contents into Dazai's hand.

It's his Agency badge.

"Someone like me doesn't deserve this."

Fukuzawa steps forward, feeling it was time for him to speak. "Atsushi, today's events are indeed tragic. But they were out of all of our control. As much as we try, we can't save everyone, you can't save everyone."

The unspoken "You will break yourself trying too" hung in the air.

"I don't need to save everyone... I just needed to save her." Said Atsushi, greif colouring all of his words.

His eyes weren't the shining bright lights they'd been prior, no they were blank, empty.

Akutugawa knew he should just leave but he couldn't. "Jinko, the words of your... Mentor do not apply here."

He felt bad for bringing that man up, seeing Atsushi freeze up. But he couldn't just stand here and watch him break apart.

"Why not?" Atsushi chuckles but it's empty, cold and sends chills down everyone's spines. It didn't sound like Atsushi at all.

"All I do is bring misfortune onto others, this is my karma for simply existing. I thought you agreed with that?"

His words were sharp, cutting. But Akutugawa knew what he was doing. Lashing out in hopes that he'd be punished for what he saw as his crime.

"I did, back when when we first met. I thought you were nothing but a weak little parasite and I couldn't fathom how Dazai kept you around."

He takes a deep breath.

"But than I learned that you and I are cut from the same cloth. Like it or not, I see you as my equal. And I won't have you drowning in your own self destruction. That man was wrong about you, as was I."

Atsushi shook his head, a self loathing smile on his face that looked so wrong.

"So what you pity me now?"

Akutagawa shook his head "we wouldn't have gotten this far if it was simply pity. And you know that."

He met Atsushi's gaze head on, seeing the sadness and greif in his eyes.

"What did he say to you?"

Atsushi didn't falter when he answered him. Akutugawa almost wished he had. For Atsushi to even subconsciously know the next words he said were so wrong.

"If I can't save people, then I don't deserve to live at all."

Fukuzawa's eyes turned to steel. Dazai's burned brightly, a silent promise of pain for the man who dared utter such words to Atsushi.

For making him believe that was true.

For Akutugawa his resolve only strengthened.

"He's wrong. You were a child trying to survive. He knows nothing of who you are, what you've become."

And if Akutugawa achieved nothing in this life, he was going to make Atsushi see himself the way others saw him.

The way he saw him.

"You have saved countless people. You will continue to save people. Because that is what you do, you save people. You saved Kyouka, she passed on knowing she was loved and that she belonged."

Tears welled up in Atsushi's eyes. All of the anger, saddness, greif finally bubbling to the surface and he broke down into tears.

Akutagawa rolled his eyes but there was an unmistaken fondness as he pulled Atsushi into a hug.

"You are going to rest, you are going to recuperate and carry on. This is not the end of your story..."

He felt his own tears in his eyes just at the thought.

"Don't you dare go where I can't follow you."

[pedros-immaculate-vibes]

I know this has been explored over countless fanfics

(because I’ve read a few of them)

But I miss spring and I’ve got the idea of this big, strapping elf just looking you up and down from across camp when he thinks you don’t notice

or his dark eyes disrespectfully taking you in from across the fire while you’re reviewing how the adventure of the day went. You glance at him to make sure he feels included

And he holds your gaze for a moment, long enough for you to know something’s on his mind.

The usually logical elf is finding it hard to keep his mind on planning and logistics tonight, as the evenings begin to lose their chill and the flower buds begin to form on bare branches.

He excuses himself early from the fire after the meal for several nights in a row, sometimes giving an excuse, sometimes not.

You approach him to ask about how the stock of food is keeping while he works on breakfast, and you see his shoulders tighten. He answers your question, but avoids looking at you.

Some of the sauce from the meal splashes up onto his arm from his suddenly forceful stirs, and you take the opportunity wipe it from the forearms you’ve admired since day one.

You don’t notice his jaw clench or his heart rate increase at your touch.

With your unfortunately lacking knowledge of Druidic practices, you have no idea that this sweet, thoughtful elf that you’ve flirted with since the party has been dropping hints; that this polite, bulwark of a man wants nothing more than to caress your face and get lost in your sounds of pleasure.

He spends the rest of spring finding productive ways to cope with the tension of The Season.

[decolonize-the-left]

I haven't found the original post about whiteness yet. However about "void where culture should be" I can sum up what's there trying and failing the fill the void.

Primarily, religion, specifically Western Evangelical Christianity. Purity culture, heaven and hell, the idea of sin, the idea of God.

Family is family and we must be true to that first and foremost. Following from this it's also marriage and the CisHet norms and as an extension of that having kids. (Which ties back to 1. in many ways.)

Being morally superior in every way we can. Totally not because white people are better, but we're the good normal CisHet Christians and we set the standards. (Sarcasm there.)

Exploitation of natural resources, especially those of non American countries. Vacations and Cruises. Going out into nature verg disrespectfully. Having the biggest life possible and having as much excess as possible. So, so many educational field trips where colonization was evident looking back. Never visiting pr disturbing a settler graveyard, but native burial mounds were fair game and not even in a respectful manner.

Nationalism. Military and Cops being the best thing ever. Just everything associated with American nationalism.

Food, the only not terrible thing on this list. Even that though is really a mix of so many cultures and honestly there's probably something fucked up if I looked into it deeper.

TLDR: Christian Nationalism. Which I am working to reject now. I definitely ain't perfect but I'm gonna work on it til I die.

Unfortunately though, that does leave me with very little culture. There's nothing to even try to fill that void anymore. I have to try and create it for myself. Just like I have to create family for myself. Sorry for the rambling I just had some thoughts.

I agree and think some other things should be there but yes.

And I mean as long as you're growing, that's all I care about ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ we love to see it 💖🌿

•°•°•

And maybe it's very rainbows and unicorns of me but we should be creating an American identity we can all share. Reject the current reliance on race all together.

Because there Should be more than christian ideology, white supremacy fascism, and capitalism.

Russel Means said it best when he said "Caucasians have a more positive vision to offer humanity than European culture. I believe this. But in order to attain this vision it is necessary for Caucasians to step outside European culture—alongside the rest of humanity—to see Europe for what it is and what it does."

Yes you have to create your own but it can be shared too. Community is crucial to any culture and people at all. Because there is so much more than what you've been given, you can create too just like your long ago ancestors before you.

And on a real note that needs to be the first step like yesterday (provided you want my opinion lol):

If white people ever want to belong here and feel like they're a part of everyone else; like we all share an identity then you have to start being more active allies to all the communities here.

You need to act like it, you know? Start actively being a part of dismantling the systems that the many diverse communities here have been critiquing for decades and centuries. Enough conditional support.

Show that you're Truly with us, thick or thin. That you wont fall back to supporting state violence because you think we misstepped in our fight for human rights and more human treatment.

Show us that you think our futures are worth fighting for. That they're a priority and the bigger picture is worth a few property damages that can/will be repaired anyway.

That you stand with us first, not the police or buildings or your political leanings. With us. With the human people that are your neighbors and bakers and bus drivers and business owners. That our human lives matter more than your politics or ideologies. That you stand for the rights of your neighbors and community like we have stood for each other.

We'd be way more of a melting pot if white ppl collectively stopped constantly looking for people to pick out of the pot. Because idk about other people, but that's how I feel as a native when liberals are trying to pick apart Landback or abolishing police or protesters causing damages for pride and ending police brutality but won't question a white imperialist for president because it's a "lesser evil" than the progressive who'd help me.

Way more of a community if other white people collectively stepped up came and stopped those kind of people from spreading their nonsense. Collectively don't take that bullshit.

Consider it your first community value. Solidarity with Everyone, not the whiteness that protects/benefits you.

And I don't mean you personally, but on a grander scale you know? Y'all should be doing whatever you can in that regard. Prove you mean it. That you want that future of belonging here and feeling safe and having an identity as much as we do.

Cuz we've Always been the first to fight, you know? With slow and conditional support...if any. But white people have the power of privilege that people in power pay attention to. More than ours. They try to suppress and repress ours systematically like we're seeing in Florida and across the country with book bans, banning CRT, and passing don't say gay bills.

We need support and it needs to be loud and visible and everywhere all the time. It can be.

The rest of us know what white people as a collective are capable of and what solidarity with one another can do.

The people in charge need to know the time for racism and fascism and individualism is behind us. That it's no longer a value that Us-Americans put up with. That you stand with us, not them.

I think we have a long way to go before the trauma of our shared history can be completely forgiven but I think unconditional allyship and support in the name of human rights and ending war crimes against marginalized communities would be a good first step at attempting to repair trust.

If you want unity we need to know you wont keep aligning with our oppressors first and foremost, you know?

[trynnabemultifandom]

No matter what

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, toxic ex boyfriend, swearing, protective Connor, angst and fluff

Summary: Your abusive and toxic ex boyfriend shows up at Med ready to stir things up. Will you be able to confide in Connor about what he did? Or will your fears from the past stop you?

Pairing: Connor Rhodes x Reader

Word count: 1.7k

A/n: Connor is a babe and i can't get enough. Anyway, enjoy :)

With a sigh, I walk into the doors of the ED. I've worked at Med for almost two years. I've loved every minute of it, but when I woke up today I just had a feeling something bad was going to happen. I don't know why I had that feeling, things have been going really well lately. It didn't take me long to become friends with my colleagues, but I've become closer to Connor more than I have with anyone else.

We have the same sense of humour and are always joking around with each other. We've gotten a couple of looks from people and Natalie has even come up to me asking questions about the two of us. I do have feelings for Connor, but I know he doesn't feel the same way towards me, and that's ok. I'd much rather have a friendship with Connor than nothing at all. Smiling, I walk into the doctors lounge and put my things in my locker. As I come out I see Maggie. "Mornin Maggie" I greet with a smile.

"Morning Y/n, got a case for you. Treatment 3" Maggie handed me the tablet "Thanks Mags" I smile to her and head to 3. I pull back the curtain to the patients room as I read his chart. Looking up from the tablet I freeze. I'm met with a face I never wanted to see again. Clearing my throat, I finally get the courage to speak "Mr. Bailey, what brings you in today" I say, stone faced.

"Now now, there's no need for such formalities Y/n, you know to call me Justin, but I've got these terrible chest pains that started today. Thought you would know that because it's in the file" He says smirking. Biting my tongue and ignoring his comment, I take out my pager. "I'll page cardiology, have them check you over. Sit tight and don't fuck around with anything" I say, glaring at him. He chuckles as I leave the room, shutting the door.

Paging cardiology I let out a sigh. So I guess that's why I was getting that feeling. My ex decides to turn up out of the blue and most likely make my life a misery until he decides to leave. "Hey I got your page" I turn around at the sudden voice appearing. It's Connor. Feeling more relaxed I smile at him. "Hey, yeah I have a patient here complaining of chest pains" 

Connor looks at me with concern. "Hey you ok? You look a little nervous" He says, placing his hand soothingly on my shoulder. I nod "Yeah I'm ok, but a bit tired this morning. Nothing some coffee won't fix" I say giving him a reassuring smile. He rubs my arm and turns to open the door. Connor walks into the room first and I begrudgingly follow behind.

"Mr. Bailey, I'm Dr. Rhodes, if you sit back for me I'm just going to take a listen to your heart" Justin doesn't do anything except for sit and glare at me, which Connor unfortunately notices. "Well I'm not hearing anything out of the ordinary, but just to be safe I'm going to run a couple of tests just to rule out a few things. I'll be back to check on you shortly" Connor turns to me and smiles before he leaves.

"So, that's your new loverboy? Can't keep his hands off you" He says with a disgusted face. Ignoring him, I put my gloves in the bin and sanitize my hands. "It's rude to ignore your patient when they're talking to you" I turn and face him, feeling my anger rise "And it's rude to speak to someone disrespectfully, but I see you still haven't learned that yet" Chuckling, he stands from the bed, walking towards me. He smirks when he notices me backing away.

"Aw, you're still that scared little bitch aren't you" I turn to leave the room when he grabs my wrist, pulling me towards him. "Justin, let go of me" I try to make my voice sound threatening but it doesn't work and I feel the tears well in my eyes. "So pathetic"

Just as I'm about to scream for help, Connor walks in. Justin quickly lets go of my wrist. "Sorry Dr. Rhodes, Dr L/n here was getting a little touchy with me, had to stop her " Justin looks at me with a smirk and Connor looks between us clenching his jaw, sensing something is off. Before the tears can escape, I storm out of the room and head for the doctors lounge, ignoring the calls of my name.

Taking a seat on the couch I let the tears flow freely while I rub my wrist. Connor runs in after me and kneels down in front of me. "What happened in there Y/n?" He questions while placing a hand on my knee. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I try to regain my composure. Connor takes my hand in his, which immediately calms me down. Taking a deep breath, I lift up my head and look at him.

"Justin Bailey. My ex boyfriend. Coming here to make my life a misery" I look at my wrist, which is already starting to bruise. Bruises whenever I was around Justin were nothing new. I was used to it. I don't want to tell Connor the full truth about Justin. I don't want Connor to look at me any differently because of this. "Y/n, I'm so sorry. I can talk to Goodwin, see if there's anyone else to take the case" He says while rubbing my hand.

I see his eyes glancing at my wrist, thankfully the bruising is quite light so he can't see it that well. Taking a deep breath, I stand up "No, it's ok. I appreciate the offer but I'll be ok" I say smiling at him. With a nod and a slight smile on his face, Connor lets go of my hand. "I'll pop in when his test results are back" 

Pulling back the curtain, I step into the room "What the fuck was that stunt you pulled?" I ask him, anger evident on my face. He smirks as he stands up off the bed "Is this how you treat all your patients?" He questions "It's how I treat self righteous pricks like you. You don't like when someone stands up for themselves Justin. Why is that? Daddy not love you enough as a kid so you take it out on other people?" I say stepping closer to him.

I know I was crossing a line but I couldn't stop myself. I'm not going to be afraid anymore. "You little fucking bitch. I've a great mind to report you for how you're speaking to me. It's very unprofessional" He pauses for a moment "Or maybe I'll just teach you some respect myself" He raises his hand, seething with anger. Just as he's about to hit me, I'm pulled back by something. I look to see Connor standing in front of Justin.

I grab onto the back of Connor's scrub top and he wraps his arm around me as best he can "Try something, I dare you" He says in a low voice. I've never seen him this angry before. Justin scoffs and looks behind Connor straight to me "No, the stupid bitch isn't worth it. She's all yours" Connor clenches his jaw and I rub his back in an attempt to calm him down "Well Mr. Bailey, I came in to tell you all your tests were normal. Now, I suggest you leave before I call security and have them escort you out" "This isn't over" He spits. And with that he's gone.

When he walked past us, I wrap my arms around Connor and hide my face. Connor turns around and takes my hand in his. "Hey Y/n, look at me" He says with a soft voice. I so badly want to look at him, but I know if I do, I'll end up breaking down. "Please look at me" He pleads while rubbing my cheek. I look at him with watery eyes "Was he always like that with you?" I nod my head, not trusting my voice. "Oh Y/n, I'm so sorry" He says, wrapping his arms around me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Looking up at him I let the tears fall "Because I didn't want you to look at me in a different way. I guess I was just scared. It never ended well in the past when I told people. The blame was put on me. Because I was too weak, or I should have just left the relationship. It wasn't that easy. I'm sorry I didn't tell you Connor. I didn't want to risk losing you" Connor wipes my tears away with his thumb.

"Y/n, you would never lose me. I'm here for you no matter what" The sincerity in his voice catches me off guard. I search his face for any sign of doubt, but I find none. "Connor, there's something I need to tell you. I wasn't going to tell you because I didn't want it to ruin the friendship we have, but after today I can't keep this in anymore. I love you Connor. I get it if you don't feel the same way, I jus-" I was cut off by Connor's lips on mine.

I smile into the kiss and wrap my arms around him. As he pulls away, there's a huge smile on his face. "I love you too Y/n. I promise you, I am with you now and always, no matter what. How about dinner after our shift?" I smile "That sounds perfect Dr Rhodes. I'm looking forward to it" Unfortunately my pager goes off, bringing the two of us back to earth. "Sorry, I got to go, but dinner tonight sounds wonderful" I give him one last kiss before exiting the treatment room, a smile plastered on my face.

[twilightarc-gm]

Fic ask game! ^_^ 💌, 🥳, 💭 and/or 👻 !

Yutaan! My beloved! 🤩😍🥰😘

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write? I'm looking at all the stuff I have written so far and I am kind of blind to a commonality between them... Like one of the more common ones is that I REALLY like when characters get soggy! ☔Rain, 🏊‍♂️swimming, 🛁🧼bath tubs! Oh no their clothes are see-through now! Oh my, unexpected naked time!? 👀 Voyeurs looking disrespectfully. If anyone wants to call me out on something more meaningful and broad ranging though, I'm all ears. I am not sure I have posted quite enough for a good scatter plot.

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic? It sounds SOO snobby but unfortunately this is just the me I am living with. I started writing fanfiction because the thing I read/watched felt insufficient and definitely was just objectively bad in some way (usually a lack of payoff for build up or a deliberate subversion that falls flat) that I felt I wanted to fix. Here! I made a graph!

💭 What inspires you and your writing? SPITE. I jest! I am kidding! But actually no, there's more truth to that than anything. I'm spiteful when the source material doesn't give me what I expected from it and/or the fanfic available doesn't cover exactly what I want to see... so you know, be the change you want to see in the world. Write what you love. Make your own food. If I want to read it, I just gotta write it since I'm so heckin' picky. 😂 Because of this I end up writing what might be considered more niche types of stories.

Telling on myself is a lot of fun 😁, I hope you got a chuckle out of reading my silliness.

[lumenflowered]

I see you've recently suffered your first defeat. As a battler, they are a fact of life, though their frequency can be mitigated.

As a highly experienced battler myself, I would be willing to lend my assistance to increase your expertise and success.

As an early tip, from what I have seen of your team, several are not the most capable of battling Pokémon. It may be worth searching out for more viable replacements to fill their niche.

I look forward to potential co-operation, though I understand due to your... attachment to the abductor of my Furret, you may be predisposed against that. I hope you can put prior interactions aside for the sake of your future success.

You are correct in that defeat is a fact of life. It is a learning experience, first and foremost, and while I did not anticipate losing this particular battle, I will treat it as I always have. In truth, I likely should have prepared further prior to challenging this gym, but I had hoped to leave Olivine behind sooner rather than later.

Regardless of that, you are incorrect about at least one thing, and I am given to suspect that you may be incorrect about far more than that alone.

This is not my first defeat. Far from it.

This is not my first defeat where battles with Pokémon are concerned, either, merely the first I found myself truly caught off guard by.

Now. If it were not for the latter half of what you have sent me, I would have merely respectfully declined. With that in mind, I'm afraid I must disrespectfully decline.

You remind me of when I was much younger, much more foolish, in a place I left one day without looking back in what proved to be the best decision of my life.

Those there never thought I would amount to anything as the proper lady they desired me to be. That, when I turned to the art of the blade in lieu of that, they never thought I would amount to anything should I not fight the way that they wished for me to.

Perhaps some of the Pokémon that fight for me are not the most capable of battlers, in your eyes. They are those that chose to fight alongside me, in spite of everything I have done and everything that I am, and I would sooner cut off my own arm then replace them as you so callously suggested.

Cooperation, as you said, implies cooperating. Working with others. Not you forcing your own thoroughly unwanted views onto others. I was predisposed, as you said, against any such 'cooperation' long before I reached the point in your message where it became clear who you were.

Rest assured. I will succeed.

And I will do so with the same Pokémon that I have come this far alongside. Perhaps with a sixth, should the opportunity arise.

It is unfortunate, truly, that I will not be able to witness the look on your face when I, and the Pokémon you chose to underestimate, prove ourselves.

Have you ever considered a better attitude? Perhaps, if you cared ever so slightly more about others, your Furret would not have chosen Mx. Danger over you.

[jalwyn21]

“And I don't say this disrespectfully, but I think he was kinda scared to leave her. Cause he knew what was coming his way. Until he realized that even all the hate and harassment is better than staying. “//

I totally agree about this. There were probably many times over the six years that he should have and could have left because I agree with you that they seemed very incompatible (and probably very compatible in some ways as well 😏). Especially over the last 1.5 years. And it’s unfortunate that he didn’t leave earlier because he probably was not a great partner at the end once he decided he was done and I’m sure that will be all over the new music. And it is what it is now! I’m sure lessons have been learned, Joe has healed/is healing, and he made some sort of peace with how it ended and now looks forward to his future.

Yeah, I'm sure Joe has learned some important life lessons..

[mishapocalyse]

hey! can I request a sam or dean (your choice) x reader where one of them is patching the others wounds after a hunt? maybe they're both crushing but haven't admitted it? 🤭 please and tysm! ❤

Dental Floss and Whiskey

Description: Imagine you are patching up the some of the boys and they're heavily crushing.

Warnings: None. Just some fluffy "I'm accidentally going to admit to you that I like you, but only because I'm injured and kind of out of it."

Dean Winchester:

He cursed like a sailor when that needle pierced into his skin. The two of you had just came back from a hunt that was finished, but not unscathed.

"Ouch, you fucking did that on purpose, Y/N." You shook your head as you continued.

You had to sit on Dean's lap while you worked, the wound was in an awkward place on his chest and merely sitting beside him was not going to go anywhere.

"You want this done or not crybaby?" You grumbled, reaching for the bottle of whiskey he'd been drinking. Popping off the cap you poured it on the wound as Dean hissed through his teeth.

"Y/N you are fucking lucky that I like you-" He stopped himself, as the two of you stared into each others eyes.

Well this was interesting.

Hopping off of his lap you patted his chest, cleaning up the supplies to set them back in your bag. You sighed, as you started towards the door. Dean sheepishly looked at you as you snagged his car keys from the hook.

"I'm taking Baby to get something to eat. Want anything?" You offered.

"The hell if you are." He said standing up to stretch.

"I'll go with you." He continued, practically pushing you out the door.

"I'll even let you drive."

Sam Winchester:

"What the hell were you thinking Sammy? You told me you wouldn't go alone." You smacked him upside the head as you picked the bullet shrapnel from his leg.

"Hey the ghost picked up the gun and threw it at me. It was not my fault that it hit the ground and fired." You continued to shake your head.

This is how it always went. Sam in particular went out on his own when Dean was off doing angel business with Castiel, and while the others were not around much, you were left with the aftermath of Sam's big ideas.

"You know you could have called me and I would have went with you. Better yet, you should have told me where you were going in the first place." You nagged, standing up to changed your gloves.

While you were away, Sam's eyes disrespectfully checked you out as you bent over to dig through your duffel bag for the first aid kit.

"I can tell you're looking at my ass Sam. Was not born yesterday." Sam laughed and you followed shortly after.

"If you like what you see, you can always tell me. Don't just have to look and sit idly by." You added.

"I would, unfortunately I just have a bullet in my leg that still needs attention." he flirted.

"Hm, maybe next time then?" you reciprocated.

You heard a groan coming from the bathroom.

"Will you two just screw already. It's getting downright annoying listening to the both of you." Dean hollered.

You and Sam share a laugh again.

"Maybe-" Sam began but you interrupted him.

"Ask me again when you are 100% okay, Big Guy?"

Gabriel (Floof):

"Don't need you to patch me up sugar." The archangel cooed, running a hand against your shoulder.

"But you do. Here let me heal you." he says.

"Gabriel-please stop touching my ass."

[to-the-stars8]

Love and Neighbors

Clark Kent x Reader Chapters a/n; totally was not completely sober while writing this so I hope this makes sense. Warnings; MDNI a bit too spicy.

14- Disrespectfully Hot

After the day in Gotham, Clark had promised to give you a proper date, that didn’t involve just coffee or Superman. Unfortunately, he didn’t know what to do about it and spent hours pacing the floor of his apartment thinking about it. 

Between the swirling thoughts of date and keeping his hand busy on thoughts he rather not say aloud, he barely realized he was nearly late for work until the alarm on his nightstand had been going on off for nearly ten minutes. Even on the car drive over to his job he kept shuffling through ideas, none of them good enough for someone as perfect and kind as you. 

As he entered work Lois gave him a distracted hello and a sudden idea came to his head. Sitting on his chair and rolling over to her, he leaned on the other side of her desk. 

“I have a question,” He said. Lois didn’t lift her eyes from the stack of papers that she was reading over, only letting out an uninterested ‘hm’. “If you were taking someone out on a date where would you go? What would you do?”

The word ‘date’ and ‘someone’ caught Lois’s attention and she snapped her head up. “You got a date?” She couldn’t help the smile crossing her face. Clark looked down at his lap, trying not to blush, but sheepishly nodded instead. Lois leaned back in her chair, fingers threaded together and an impressed look on her face. “How long have we known each other Clark? A few years now? And not once have I ever heard you mention a date.”

“Please, don’t--”

“No, no,” Lois said, holding up a hand. “Let me bask in the moment. It’s like a mother watching her son grow up.” She stared at him a second longer before finally giving in to his question. “Okay, gushing done. This might just be me, but I would cook dinner. You know, set up a whole fancy dinner vibe in my house--Light a few candles, put roses everywhere. Show the effort that you’re interested in her.”

Clark hummed in thought, nodding because he liked that idea. He could stop by the grocery store tonight and pick up the food and roses. Or whatever type of slower you liked. “I think I could do that.”

“Not to mention,” Lois said offhandedly as she turned back to her work. “It’s a good chance to get laid. Which, by the look on your face, you desperately want. And need.”

Clark’s cheeks felt like they were on fire as he quietly returned to his desk to plan out the rest of the date he had now envisioned in his mind. He dialed your phone number and waited until he heard your voice come through the phone. When you said yes to dinner tonight, he tried not to show much emotion as Lois was looking over like a hawk. Though, she noticed when he hung up the phone with a huge grin. 

He wouldn’t admit it willingly, he liked buying you flowers and cooking your favorite dishes, and it excited him. The way he planned out how his apartment would look and how he would light all the candles only added to his eagerness. He was looking forward to how you would react as he put the candles in the middle of the table. Would you think it was sexy like Lois had implied? Clark found himself a bit ashamed at the question as it floated through his head. 

Just as he was about to pull dinner from the oven, as it had been in there too long already, he heard a knock on his door. Instantly, he knew it was you and started to run around his apartment frantically to make sure everything looked nice. 

He made sure the flowers on the table didn’t look too much and checked the candles to make sure they wouldn’t set the flowers on fire before checking on the food one more time. On his way to the door, he stopped to check how he looked. When he decided that he looked good enough after the umpteenth time of fixing his little cowlick, he finally went to the door. 

“Hey,” You said when he appeared, before leaning up to kiss his cheek to greet him. Clark could hardly manage out a hello when you did that before stepping aside to let you in. You looked beautiful as you stood there in front of him in one of your more scandalous date outfits. “How was work for you?”

“Um,” Fuck, he could hardly remember what happened at work since the entirety of his mind was taken up with you. “Good.”

“That’s…good.” There was a brief pause. “I like what you did with everything. Very alluring.”

For one of the most important superheroes in the entire world, Clark felt like a fool just standing there gawking at you.  He didn’t know what was wrong with him. Maybe it was what Lois had said earlier or maybe he was more nervous than he knew. Either way, he could hardly form words. 

“Thank you,” He said. “Uh, I’m sorry if they’re not your favorite. I don't know what flowers you prefer.”

“I always like roses, handsome,” You said, going over to the table to finger the petals. “I like the candles, too. They smell nice.”

“I have dinner cooking,” Clark said, stepping closer. “It’s your favorite.”

Clark was close enough so that you only had to turn your head up to see his face, so when you did you could see the blush clear across his cheeks. “Thank you for doing all this.”

“Yeah, of course,” He said. “Thank you for coming. I hope you weren’t busy. I know it was a last-minute date.”

You turned around so you were normally looking up at him. “I’m never too busy for you.”

He could have leaned down to kiss your lips then, just like he had imaged at night when all he could do was think of you. Yet, something stopped him. Like the words couldn’t form on his lips, he couldn’t just take you for all you were despite how much he wanted to. Maybe it was the fact that he knew it would be impolite toward you, or he was just that nervous. 

“You look nice today, Clark,” You said, reaching up to stroke his cheek. “You don’t have your glasses on. It’s different. I like it.”

“You’ve seen me without my glasses before,” He stated, desperately trying to keep himself from leaning into your touch. 

You grinned. “As Superman. Not as Clark Kent.”

“I’ll take my glasses off for you more often, then,” He mumbled, still keeping himself as still as possible. 

Your body felt like jelly when he talked lowly like that, almost like it was a purr. Running your thumb across his bottom lip, stepping to him so close that your bodies were flush against one another.  “Fuck, Clark, sometimes I wish you would stop being so fucking respectful.”

Before he could respond, the smell of smoke hit the air and both of you seemed to react at the same time. “Not again.” You groaned as you followed him to the kitchen. Smoke was pouring from inside and Clark was already using his superspeed to open all the windows as you turned off all the heat. 

Clark pushed you to the side as he retrieved what was left of dinner, putting it out onto the fire escape to cool down as he contemplated the rest of his life’s decisions. 

“I think you should just order take-out next time,” You said, coming up behind him to lean your back against his. “Obviously, cooking with you is a hit-or-miss thing.”

He huffed out a laugh. “Yeah.” 

“Want me to order?”

“Yeah,” Was the most defeated word you think you had ever heard. 

You pushed yourself off his back to walk around to stand next to him. Taking a hand, you pulled his face to look at yours, swiping your thumb across his cheek before pressing a feather-light kiss to his lips. “Thank you for putting in all this effort, Clark. I love it. The night is still young, too!” 

When you pulled away to order the food he could feel his heartbeat quicken to the point that it felt like it was going to explode. You had kissed him. A real kiss. Something he had only dreamt of for however long he had known you, and it felt so good. You felt so good. It lit a spark in him that had simmered when he thought the evening was ruined the moment dinner had turned into a science experiment. 

“Did you mean what you said,” Clark asked after he heard you hang up the phone. “When you said you wanted me to stop being so respectful?”

You felt all the air leaving your body, and yet you still tried to keep your cool as you answered, “Maybe. Depends on what you think about what I said.”

He crossed the room to you in less than three strides. Clark leaned over you, putting a hand on each side of your hips so you were enclosed against the dining table. The smell of his cologne, his eyes--Everything that made Clark Kent who he was sent flames to each part of your body. Especially when he was looking at you like you were the last meal he wanted to eat. 

A small smirk came across his face. You had seen that smirk before when he teased you about something, but not in a circumstance like this. “How long do we have before take-out gets here?”

“Thirty minutes?” You breathed. 

“Too bad that isn’t enough time.” Before you could say anything he quickly stole a kiss from you. When he pulled away, Clark put his hands on your hips, squeezing. “Looks like we’ll have to wait before I can start being disrespectful.”

[bbygirl-aemond]

are we going to touch a topic of viserys ii and larra rogare? because I think we should. a boy was, what, twelve years? when he returned to westeros with his nineteen year old pregnant wife. I'm looking very fucking disrespectfully at whoever the fuck proposed that idea in the first place. yes, lysandro rogare, I'm talking about you. are we even surprised aegon iv turned out to be a disaster? his father was literally a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD TEEN WHEN HE WAS BORN, UGH.

Oh my god yeah it's literally so gross and i've never seen anyone talk about it? Viserys would have been twelve or possibly even eleven when Aegon IV was conceived and that's just so 🤢🤢🤢

Stormbreak readers please do not worry I will be keeping Lysandro and Larra Rogare FAR away from our baby bc I do not trust him with them.

Also, this is just interesting to me, but Game of Thrones and Fire and Blood actually contradict each other on who Viserys II ended up marrying. In the book "The Lineages and Histories of the Great Houses of the Seven Kingdoms," which is the book Ned Stark uses to figure out Robert's kids were bastards, we get stills of portions of the lineages of other houses, including House Targaryen. And we get this indirect reference to Viserys II:

AEGON TARGARYEN, forth [sic] of his name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord Protector of the Seven Kingdoms. Born to VISERYS TARGARYEN, the second of his name, and VISNEYA [sic] TARGARYEN in the 135th year after Aegon's Landing at King's Landing. Violet of eye, silver of hair, wed in his thirtieth year to his sister NAERYS TARGARYEN. Crowned king in his thirty-seventh year upon the death of his father [row cut off].

Aegon IV Targaryen is Viserys II's eldest son. So in Fire and Blood, we're told that Viserys II fathered Aegon IV with Larra Rogare. But in Game of Thrones, he apparently fathered him with a woman named Visenya (the Maester probably just misspelled it, since it's so close to a known Targaryen name) instead. Unfortunately, he was also 13 at the time of Aegon IV's birth in this version. ☹️

Now, the episodes containing this book aired in May of 2011, and Fire and Blood wasn't published until 2018, so it's possible GRRM changed things around. My hunch is that he originally planned on Visenya surviving birth and going on to marry her brother in the Valyrian custom, but decided to kill her off instead.

[caelumsnuff]

👀 Alpha's Kitten 😳

I am looking oh so disrespectfully.

What would you like to share about this? 💖

hi! So i unfortunately dont actually have a lot for that particular fic, it was an idea i jotted down in a google doc, wrote one line for, and haven't really touched since. I am not particularly super passionate about it, but it is an idea that i enjoy still.

I just know i want to do a few cute domestic scenes with Angel as kitten, sitting on the floor of the kitchen, staring up at David as he cooks them both dinner. Angel sitting in the bathroom with him as he showers, maybe drying off his legs afterwards (and giving him a sneaky little lick on his leg that tickles him). Followed by dominant sex, David carrying them both to bed, and them sleeping in on the following day (a weekend, no work). Just generally really soft. I have a lot of ideas and fics that im gonna end up writing that revolve around this idea of being taken care of in a really domestic kind of way followed by sex. Idk, its just a thing i like.

Heres the one line i have written down for it in the google doc:

"His hand firmly but gently grazes over their ribs, caressing down to grab onto their waist. So this was the alpha they got tonight; Gentle, steady, the anchor they needed in the storm. "

Thanks for showing interest in one of my ideas! i will be sobbing about it