#update: she just tried to sit up and continue with her tasks

[underwhelmingalchemist]

The thing about being auDHD and having a girlfriend, who is also autistic as well as physically disabled, is that sometimes you have tasks that rely on the other doing something, and then when the other can't do it for whatever reason, you end up stuck because you can't clean the bed until you can put the hangers on it away and you can't put the hangers away until she finishes hanging up clothes and she can't hang up her clothes because she's in pain and lying down so you can't put away the hangers and you can't clean the bed and you need to do that next and can't get around those hangers so you're just standing there and staring at them unable to progress with your task until your girlfriend progresses with her task and she physically can't so you mentally can't and you can't be frustrated because she's in pain and you love her and want her to take care of yourself and if you seem frustrated she's going to push herself again and make it worse, so you end up sitting on the floor writing a tumblr post instead

(To be clear, I'm not upset with her, just frustrated with my brain's inflexibility)

[rafeandonlyrafe]

mistakes and regrets

words: 1.9k

warnings: 18+ only, smut, aged up!rafe, dad!rafe and mom!reader, seperated parents/coparenting, p in v sex (but they dont finish), angsty but fluffy ending

taglist: @drewstarkeysbae @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @slut4drudy @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs

"hey, baby girl!" rafe smiles, picking up your daughter and twirling her around. "well don't you look so cute in your new dress." he nuzzles his face against hers, pressing kisses along her cheeks.

"hey y/n." rafe greets you with a smile as well, setting your daughter down and coming to take the bags out of your hands, carrying them inside.

you take your daughters hand and walk in together, pushing down your nerves to put a smile on your face.

"thanks for letting us stay here while the apartment is getting redone." you say, watching as rafe sets your bags along the hallway.

"no problem." rafe says, clearing his throat. it's been so long since you've shared a house together. rafe usually gets your daughter on weekends, and you take care of her at your apartment during the week while he's working. 

it wasn't a one time hookup that resulted in your daughter, but it wasn't exactly a relationship either. your bodies were so compatible, and you tried to make it work when you became pregnant, but it was just too hard on both of you, so for your daughters sake, you decided to cut the toxicity and coparent with seperate places.

"come on, izzy, let's show mommy your new toy." rafe ushers your daughter up the stairs, helping her navigate her new skill. izzy just turned two, and is still getting the hang of her movements.

you follow them up the stairs, looking at the house you used to know so well. you smile when you see the inside of izzys room, it's been almost a year since you've been inside of it, and its been updated with a brand new bed, and stocked full with toys. rafe obviously spoils his daughter, but you already knew that from how much extra he gave you in child support each month, allowing you to not have to work to support her. you still choose to work at a local cafe on the weekends, mainly because your friend runs it and you like to help out. it keeps you busy as well when you're away from your daughter.

"mommy, look!" izzy holds up a brand new barbie doll, and you ooo and ahh over it as she continues to show you all the toys that she keeps at her daddys house. you sit down on the tiny toddler sized couch in her room, smiling at rafe as he crosses his arms and watches from the door, loving seeing how precious his daughter is.

once izzy is done going through everything, you head back down the stairs for dinner. you love to cook with izzy, giving her easy little tasks that she can do with your supervision. you know how important it is to start teaching her these things young, and how good it is for her development.

you move throughout the kitchen with rafe with ease, like you never had all that time spent apart. once everything is in the oven or simmering on the stovetop, you move to lift izzy into her high chair in the dining room, but rafe stops you. "i got it." he smiles gently, placing her in the seat and securing the tray.

"this is nice." you hum softly, keeping an eye on izzy out of the corner of your eye as she drinks her milk out of a sippy cup.

"it is. we should do family dinners more often." you and rafe get along decently well, but it also hurts you to be around him constantly. you feel guilty that you aren't giving izzy the life you had growing up with two steady, in love parents.

"we should." you just say in agreement, helping rafe plate the dishes before moving back to the table.

the dinner goes by well, izzy never letting an awkward silent moment happen as she chats away, even though most of it is intelligible baby babble along with her speaking with a mouth full of food.

you settle down on the couch with izzy after, cuddling her as a movie plays on the tv while rafe cleans up from dinner. you both decided a relaxing day would be best, considering you're deviating from her normal schedule by staying at rafes for the entire week while your apartments wood floors are redone. the complex offered to put you up in a hotel, but you knew izzy would be more comfortable at rafes, even if you found it awkward. you'd do anything for your daughter.

"somebody is getting tired." rafe says with a smirk as he enters the living room, seeing izzy resting against you, slowly blinking at the tv.

"daddy." izzy perks up slightly, crawling across the couch to where he sits down.

"come on, mommy." izzy becons you with her hand, wanting to cuddle with both her parents. you can't deny what your little girl wants, schooching across the couch to sit next to rafe, izzy sat half on your thigh and half on his.

you keep your back pin straight, your leg the only part of your body touching rafes, but as the movie continues, you find yourself leaning back against the couch, rafes arm coming to wrap around your shoulder.

you can tell that izzy has fallen asleep, but you let yourself lean into rafe, enjoying the comfort of his warmth as the movie draws to a close.

only when the credits finish do you move, wishing you could stay there curled up for longer, as one big unit with izzy.

"ill take her up to bed, stay here." rafe says, keeping his voice barely above a whisper. you just nod, letting rafe pick up your daughter, noting how small she is in his big arms. still your little girl, even though she's gotten so big.

rafe hesitates before he leaves the room, turning to press a kiss to your forehead before exiting. you blush hard, knowing your face must be bright red from the intimate moment.

you stay sat in your seat as you hear rafe descending the stairs and rummaging with something in the kitchen. he comes back into the living room with two glasses of wine, handing one to you.

"i bought red just for you." rafe admits, sitting down next to you, but keeping more distance than before.

"you remembered." you smile into your glass, taking a small sip of the drink.

"of course.” rafe closes his eyes briefly before refocusing on you when they open again.

“you’re different.” you say honestly. it’s been so long since you’ve spent more than a few minutes with him, and never one on one like this. 

“i’m no longer the boy who got you pregnant.” rafe says, and you understand exactly what he means. izzy changed both of your lives, made you realize that you had to grow up, for her sake and your own. “i actually-” rafe leans forward and sets his glass on the coffee table. “wanted to apologize for back then. i was young and stupid, and i hurt you and izzy. i wish i could go back and change how i acted. i was jealous and immature.”

“oh rafe.” you sigh, also setting your glass down to lean forward and wrap your arms around him. “it means so much to me to hear you say that. i’m sorry too, we both made mistakes.” rafes arms are firmly around your waist, holding you against him. you pull back, going to speak more when rafes lips press against yours. you gasp against his mouth, but he doesn’t let up, continuing to kiss you until you concede and kiss him back.

“please. just let me have you, even just for tonight.” rafe says, running his hand through your hair, his forehead pressing against yours, eyes full of emotion and pleading.

you should say no. this will only complicate things further, but you swallow your pride and nod. you want rafe too bad to miss this opportunity.

rafe stands slowly, hands carefully helping you up like he’s worried if he moves too quickly you’ll back out. 

he leads you up the stairs, and you follow slowly a step behind, keeping your outstretched hands intertwined as he heads past izzys bedroom to his own. you glance around the room, noticing its mostly unchanged from a year ago when you packed up your things and left.

"we'll have to be quiet." you say, closing the door shut behind you. "don't want to wake izzy."

rafe nods, placing his hands on your waist as he connects your lips again, the kiss even more passionate now as he leads you further into the room, towards the bed.

you kiss in between getting undressed, pulling clothes off before reconnecting your lips until you’re both naked. rafe lays you down, draping his body over yours, his cock rubbing against your thigh making you moan, widening your legs, calling for him.

rafe presses against your entrance, pushing inside with ease, like he was meant to be there. you cry out, trying to keep quiet but struggling until rafes mouth is on yours, swallowing your sounds with a kiss as his hips press against yours, cock buried deep in your heat.

“rafe, please.” you claw your fingers down his back, not caring if you scratch him, needing him to move. he grants your command, moving his hips back and then in in a swinging motion, his eyes glossed over with lust.

it reminds you of the night you conceived izzy, it was just like this, rafe moaning on top of you, both trying to keep quiet as ward was sleeping in the room next door. at the flashback, you suddenly push rafe off of you, tears welling up in your eyes.

“baby?” rafe questions, his hands reaching out but not touching, like he’s scared you’ll react even worse.

“what are we doing?” you question, your voice breaking as you sob, feeling regretful and vulnerable as you tug on rafes sheet to wrap it around your naked body.

rafe opens his mouth like hes going to speak, but no words come out.

“what are we doing?” you repeat. “we aren’t kids anymore, we have a daughter, we can’t just hook up. do you know how confusing this all is for her? we are being so dumb and selfish.”

“it’s not selfish to want to give izzy happy parents who are together.” rafe pushes back.

“together? you said just for tonight.” you scrunch your brows, confused.

“i would take tonight if that’s all you were willing to offer me. i was hoping with you staying here, things would… change. and get better.” rafe sighs, reaching out to take your hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.

“so you actually want to try again?” you question, thinking that was out of the question after what happened a year ago.

“anything for you. anything for izzy. i know it’ll be hard, but why don’t we try just for this week? and then see where it takes us from then on?” 

you nod, leaning forward to press your cheek into rafes chest, letting his strong, comforting arms wrap you into a hug, easing you back onto the bed.

“let’s just sleep.” he presses a kiss to the top of your head. “and see how we feel in the morning, waking up next to each other.”

“mmm.” you hum in agreement. 

“but-” rafe pauses “we do need to put our clothes back on so izzy doesn’t walk in on us naked.”

you burst out laughing, eyebrows shooting up when rafe presses his lips against yours, shushing you as to not wake up izzy while also unable being able to hold back a laugh of his own.

[messedupfan]

Chapter 15

Summary: It's the morning after Y/n's drunken night and they have no idea where they are. Wanda recruits Agatha to help with a legal issue. And Tommy and Billy have a tournament that they are excited about.

A/n: Y'all this is almost 10k so please don't be mad at me for the slow update haha. Also, this kind of got away from me so I hope it's good? I don't know. Also, I can't believe we're at Chapter 15 and it's not even close to being done! Ugh, I have such good chapters planned too! I can't wait to write them. Anyways... Enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | All Chapters

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You wake up, confused by your surroundings. You fear for a moment that you might've slept with someone random at the bar the night before. You don’t remember getting flirty with someone but with the way things have been you wouldn’t be surprised if you acted impulsively the night before. You groan softly as you shut your eyes. The last thing you need right now is another compilation. So you're careful as you step out of the bed, hoping you’re able to make a clean escape. 

You're filled with relief as you find yourself fully clothed as you sit on the slightly familiar bed. Is this an ex’s bed? Did you call Daisy? No, you doubt she’d have answered anyway. You are almost certain she has blocked your number by now. Then you think back to who you invited and consider that maybe this is Darcy’s home. Your head is pounding as you wrack your brain to remember where you know these soft sheets from. As you look around the room you notice pills on the nightstand and a glass of water. You take the pills and brace yourself to stand up. As you stand in the middle of the room, it clicks in your mind where you are and you can’t believe it took you so long to figure it out. Wanda. You stretch before you walk out of the room. 

As soon as you open the door, you're greeted with an inviting aroma. You follow it as if you were a cartoon character all the way down the stairs. Wanda is in the kitchen cooking French toast. “That smells amazing,” you compliment through a yawn. 

“Good morning,” she says as she hands you a cup of steaming coffee. “You gave us all quite the scare last night,” she says as she keeps her focus on the stove. She isn’t ready to look at you after what went down between the two of you last night. With how much restraint you’ve shown her in the past, she is upset that you kissed her last night. She knows that she is guilty of kissing you when she shouldn’t have but she couldn’t let go of the annoyance she feels towards you for drinking so much. You were supposed to be the stable one out of the pair of you. 

“I'm sorry,” you say with a frown. “I shouldn't have had so much to drink. I just. Things have been really weird lately. I don't really know what or how to process. I don't know. There's no excuse. I shouldn't have gotten so wasted that I don't remember last night and you shouldn't have had to take care of me.” 

Wanda places the toast on a plate as she listens to you express your guilt. “It’s okay. I'm glad Darcy called me. She and two giant guys couldn't keep you under control. It gave me a bit of an ego boost,” she smiles playfully as she takes a sip from her mug. She’s going to give you a pass because you’ve given her many. “Besides, it's not like I haven't done worse with you before. It happens. Just don't make a habit of it.” 

You nod as you remember the time Wanda got drunk with you and tried to convince you to have sex with her. At least nothing like that happened last night. You hope. “I promise, I won't,” you state as you watch her continue to cook. You find her attractive when she performs even the simplest of tasks. You wonder how you'll be able to sustain a friendship with her now that you're both single again. You pat your pockets for your phone to direct your attention to downloading a dating app before you let your heart convince you into doing something to jeopardize this friendship. 

“Are you going to tell me what it was about or do I need to mind my own business?” Wanda asks as she adds more toast to the plate. 

“I um,” you sigh as you close your phone and return it to your pocket. You look at her again and then look down into your mostly full mug. “Jean and Anna want to have a baby. With me. Except not with me. Well, they want me to help make him or her or them, they just don't want me to be the kid's parent.” 

Wanda quickly turns off the burner and looks at you with wide eyes. “What?”

You nod, “Yup and they expect me to have sex with Jean. No, wait, how did Anna put it?” You tap your chin as you try to remember. “Ah yes, they want me to fornicate with Jean for reproductive purposes only.” You scoff as you bring the mug up to your lips and take a drink.

“I can't,” Wanda shakes her head. “I don’t even know where to begin to process that,” she says as she resumes cooking the breakfast. You set the mug down and look around to make yourself useful. You start chopping the vegetables she has out so that you can busy your hands and attempt to make omelets. “Are you thinking about saying yes?” 

You sigh, “Only because I keep thinking about how much Rachel would love it. I mean.” You stop chopping and turn to lean against the counter and face Wanda. “I never talk about this but I had an older brother. I didn't get to know him because he passed away before my first birthday. But my parents would talk about him. There are pictures of the four of us in an album somewhere. And I've thought about how different my life would have been if I still had him. I wonder if my parents divorce would have been easier if I had someone by my side to go through it with me.” You cross your arms and shake your head. 

“Rachel has already gone through her parents divorce alone, Y/n,” Wanda reminds you. “Giving them a baby isn't going to change that. She's ten, she's going to be facing big changes soon and a baby isn't going to be able to help support her. In fact, I think a baby will distract from the vital issues she is bound to face. Especially when she'll need her mom's the most. I think you need to take her out of this equation.” 

You nod, “That's… well, you’re not wrong.” You scratch your cheek in thought. Trying to come up with a reason why you think you should say yes. “Jean pointed something else out to me,” you start and Wanda gives you her full attention as she stops cooking entirely. “I can have more kids whenever I want. Jean and Anna are ready to have a baby now and they don't want to have to compromise on a dream of theirs because of their inability to,” you struggle for a moment to come up with a way to end the sentence, “reproduce on their own.” 

Wanda licks her lips as she thinks. She didn’t realize that Jean had this much control over you that you would tear yourself apart in order to keep her happy. She thought the two of you had the healthiest relationship she’d ever seen of a divorced couple but now she can see how wrong she was. You cannot say no to Jean and it’s killing you at the thought of having to. It seems as though there isn’t a thing she could ask of you that you will say no to. She was the one that asked for the divorce. She wanted to keep the house you put so much care in. Wanda had only been there once when Rachel invited the boys over to play. Rachel gave her a tour of everything you’d ever fixed. Vision wouldn’t even replace the batteries in the TV remote and he was pissed that he lost the house in the divorce. You cared about that house but you gave it up without a fight. 

You once told Wanda about a car you saved up for in high school and paid for on your own but Jean convinced you to sell it, you did so without a thought. Your version of the story was that Jean had just told you that she was pregnant and that she didn’t think it was practical. There was a picture of it with you and Jean on the hood sitting on a shelf at her house. When Wanda asked if that was the same car from the story she was told. Jean laughed and claimed that she had you sell the car months before she found out she was pregnant simply because she didn’t like it. But because you are who you are, your memories were altered to believe the decision was made as a parent. That wasn't Jean's fault, it's just the way you had programmed yourself when you were young and in love. 

This, however, wasn't about a car. She'd actually prefer that you sit here and tell her about Jean asking you to buy her a car. But asking you to procreate with her this way is… Wanda can't even fathom how the two normally level headed women came to this conclusion. 

“Are you willing to sign away your parental rights? This isn't a closed adoption situation. You would have to see this child at least every Sunday for years,” she stresses the length in time to prove a point. “I think I've gotten to know you well enough that I can say, you aren't the kind of person to just help bring a kid into the world and not be part of their life.” Wanda shakes her head. 

You go back to working on the omelets as you go quiet. You didn't know what to do or say. All you know for certain at the moment is that you are hungry and that you want to have an omelet with the French toast that Wanda made. “Do you have any bacon?” You ask as you rummage around her refrigerator. “Yes, you do!” You find it before she answers. Wanda is concerned about your sudden change in attitude as she watches you move around the kitchen.  But she doesn’t say anything else. If you want to move on from the subject, she will move on from the subject.

While the two of you are sitting at the kitchen table eating in silence, Wanda is thinking of ways to help you if you do agree to help Jean have another baby. It wasn't fair to ask so much of you. What would you even get out of this? She can’t believe the couple is being so selfish. The entire time you were staying here, you were putting in a lot of overtime and it was painful to watch you come here beaten down and exhausted. And yet you smiled around the kids, you were playful and were very helpful in putting them to bed. Wanda could see it in your eyes that you were stressed but you never let it show. She thought about how dirty you came back every night. Evidence that you have to put in a lot of hard and physically demanding labor in order to provide. Something that many people have the luxury of never having to experience. Wanda thought about how grateful she would be to you if she had to depend on you that way. What she would do to show her appreciation. Meanwhile Jean and Anna are coming up with more ways for you to spend that hard earned money on anyone but you. 

As you ate your breakfast, your mind was running around in circles about the whole thing. Even though you had a week so far to think it over, you realize that focusing on work and getting drunk every night didn't make the decision easier and it definitely didn't make any of the issues disappear. You didn't want to do this but you couldn't think of a good reason not to other than you simply didn’t want to. That doesn’t seem like enough. Not when it comes to something like this. Since you couldn't think of a good argument, you felt that your hands were tied and you might as well do it for Jean. Er, for Rachel? No, Wanda is right, Rachel cannot be a factor in this decision. But it feels weird making the decision based on your ex-wife. She isn’t your wife, which means you’re not obligated to her anymore. Only Rachel. The thought is freeing as you begin to analyze your relationship with Jean. This causes you to worry you about transferring most of your paychecks to Jean instead of directly to the hospital because she said that she should be the one to manage the payments. Was she putting the money where it’s meant to go or was she doing something else with it? She wouldn’t do that. Would she? Nothing seems as clear cut as it used to. 

“Do you want a baby?” Wanda asks as the two of you take care of the dishes together. 

You shake your head, “Not right now. I've had to dip into the secret college fund I have for Rachel to pay rent this month. Not a lot but still. I’m not financially in a place to have another kid. I always thought I’d wait to even have kids when I checked all of the boxes and then well, Rachel happened.” 

“You have a college fund for Rachel?” Wanda asks as she dries the plate. You nod as you scrub a glass cup. “Why is it a secret?”

“Because, there is the one Jean and I started when Rachel was born and that one Jean is constantly using as a rainy day fund,” you state politely because she really did use it as a savings to pay for anything she didn’t want to use her money on. As you continue to wash the dishes you're starting to wonder if she even adds money in there at all at this point or if it’s only you. “The one I have kept a secret, I started after the divorce because I can't really trust Jean with money. She actually used the last attempt of the joint college fund on the DJ for her wedding last year. It was Anna’s cousin and he didn't actually need to be paid since he's in high school and the entire setup was his laptop, my bluetooth speakers, and YouTube. He didn't even have a paid plan so there were a lot of ad breaks throughout the event. The worst part of it all is that he has Spotify premium but he didn't want to use it because he didn't want his recommendations to be all, in his words ‘lesd up,’” you shake your head as you recall the sweaty sixteen-year old that vaped away your daughters college money all night. 

The more the two of you talk the more Wanda is finding reasons why you shouldn't get involved in this. Jean might say that you would have no involvement with the child but what happens when she's having a rough financial patch and she goes to the courts for child support? Wanda knew she was going to have to call Agatha as soon as she dropped you off. You clearly needed someone to intervene and Wanda has just appointed herself to be the one to do it. 

“You don't have to give me a ride home, I can pay for a ride home,” you mutter as you pull your phone out of your pocket. Wanda swipes it out of your hands. 

“Are you crazy? I've seen the medical bills you guys have to pay, you need to be saving as much as you can,” Wanda says as she puts the device in her pocket. “You can have it back when you're home.” You roll your eyes but apologize as you express your gratitude. She was being kind. You didn't need to be giving her this much attitude when she was doing nice things for you. 

The two of you chat lightly in the car ride to your apartment. You don't want to dive into the issues on your mind and Wanda doesn't want to upset you further. “Oh! Tommy and Billy have a big match coming up for their martial arts classes. They're really excited about it. Billy is more nervous than excited but he's still really into the whole thing. I've asked him if he wants to do something else but he's pretty dedicated to the sport. I'm glad he's staying committed. Besides, it'd be really unfair for Tommy to be better trained in how to beat up the poor kid more than he already does. At least this way, Billy has a chance.” 

You smile as you agree. Billy needed the martial arts classes more than Tommy did but at least they could be fighting on an even level. “Hey, what was that brand of vodka you gave me last night?” Wanda makes a face as she doesn't recall giving you any vodka last night. “Come on, I'm not going to go on another binge. It was just really good and really familiar. What was it called?” 

Wanda tries to wrack her brain for a memory of what she could have served you the night before. “I didn't, I only gave you - oh,” she smiles at you for a second and quickly returns her attention to the road ahead of her. “It was water. You wouldn't drink it so… I kind of tricked you.” 

You shake your head. “I don't know if I could trust you ever again,” you say dramatically as you turn to face the window on your side of the car. “I can't even look at you.”

“What?! I was trying to keep you alive!” 

“By lying to me?” You playfully accuse. 

“It was for your own good!” She argues. You cross your arms over your chest and pout as you slouch in your seat. 

“I'm not a child,” you say in a baby-like voice, making Wanda laugh. Her laugh breaks your act and you sit up laughing with her. It goes quiet for a bit as she gets closer to your apartment building. Then you remember the crazy work schedule you have. “Hey uh, can you help me with picking up Rachel from school this week? I'm not going to work as late as the past few weeks but I don't think I'll get out in time and I want to avoid her moms as much as I can while we figure out this whole thing.”

“You ask a lot of me,” Wanda says as a joke but you don't catch it at first so you start to stumble on an apology. “I’m kidding, of course I'll be happy to help you out with Rachel.” She doesn't mind helping with your daughter because she loves her almost as if she were her own child. Plus her boys behave better when Rachel is around. It doesn't hurt that Wanda will get to see more of you, but that’s not why she agrees. 

“Thank you,” you smile at her, grateful for her generosity. You have no idea what you would do without her. You have no idea how you’ve gotten this far in life without her. You want to express more than a simple thank you but you decide against it. Now is not the time. 

The next day you go over what you want to say to Jean and Anna on your drive to their house. You practice denying them over and over again. It goes poorly during the fake scenarios. One of the scenarios even ends with you offering to set up a date to start the process. You don't know why it's so hard for you to say no to Jean. You've done it plenty of times. You think. You can't come up with an example of when you've been able to say no and put your foot down when it concerns your ex-wife. But that doesn't mean that it hasn't happened. 

As you walk to the door you whisper the words over and over again to yourself but once Jean opens the door the word gets lost in the back of your throat. “Have you thought about it some more?” Jean asks innocently. She's giving you a look that has made you crumble and cave into anything she has asked of you over the years. 

“Um,” you start as you hold eye contact with her. Rachel has so much of her, you wonder if a new baby would look more like you or… No! You have to remind yourself that you're not doing it. You're not going to agree to this. “I have given it some consideration and I-” 

Rachel hobbles by with Anna behind carrying her school bag. She should have been able to get one of those scooters. You shake your head slowly as you take the bag from Anna. Hoping that it’s enough of an answer since Rachel is present. You watch Jean’s expression drop. “Baba! Look at all of the signatures I got at school!” Rachel says excitedly as she shows off her cast.

“Wow, look at you miss popularity,” you smile at her and she blushes as she calls you a dork. “Let's get going, sweetheart.” You walk with her to the car and Jean follows, she helps you get Rachel into the truck and once the door is shut, she asks you to reconsider. “Jean, do you know what you're asking of me? Do you really have no idea what this would do to me?” 

“This isn't about you and it isn't about me! It's something bigger than both of us!” She argues a little too loud for your liking. 

You hold your hands up as you start to walk to the driver's side of the vehicle. “I'm not going to talk to you when you're like this. I don't even recognize you right now,” you shake your head. Jean grabs your shoulder and forces you to look at her. 

“You can't say no,” she pleads, “I need you. Please. Please reconsider.” You look into her eyes and feel your throat close up. You were in love with her once upon a time. You would do anything for her. You have done everything for her. But this was too much. It’s gone too far. 

“I can't, I'm sorry. You have to find someone else,” you tell her softly. Jean lets go of your shoulder and storms off to the house. She slams the door and you enter the truck with a confused and concerned daughter. “It's nothing to worry about, sweetheart. Mom is just,” you shake your head, not really having the words. “Anyway, I'm going to work late this week so I asked Wanda to pick you up with the boys if that's okay with you.” You inform her to get her mind onto something more positive. 

Rachel lights up. Completely forgetting about her mom’s odd behaviour. “Are we staying with her again?” 

You shake your head as you start the engine. “No, no, that was a one time thing honey. She's just going to take you to her house and I'll pick you up from there. Okay?” 

Rachel frowns for a second but quickly perks up. “Okay, that will be cool.” She puts on some music and it cheers you up to hear her happy little voice singing again. 

“Wanda! Darling, how are you?” Agatha greets Wanda with a hug. “What is this big emergency?” Wanda had asked Agatha to brunch a few hours before she had to pick up the boys from their dad's. 

Her friend is a family attorney and she has seen many unique cases over the years. If there was anyone that might be able to help you, Wanda believes it will be Agatha. “It's about a friend of mine. They have been put in an interesting position and I was wondering if you could help me understand their rights.” 

Agatha looks at Wanda as she ponders her words. A waiter walks by and she stops him. “Hey there cutie, do you mind getting my friend and I here a couple of mimosas. Thank you, you are such a gem!” The young man blushes as he walks off to get the drinks. “What's the position your friend has been put in exactly?” Agatha asks Wanda, assuming that it has something to do with Wanda and she’s a bit embarrassed. 

“They've been asked to help bring a child into the world and then sign away any parental rights should they succeed in conceiving. Giving the mother sole custody and the other parent a front row seat to their childs-” 

“I'm going to stop you right there. I actually know what you're talking about,” Agatha cuts her friend off. 

“You do?” Wanda is shocked, she begins to wonder if your friends told her or worse, if Jean and Anna hired her. 

“Yes, I just didn't think it was going to be a real issue. I mean, the idea came from a shrooms trip, I wasn't exactly inclined to believe them. Oh! Thank you,” Agatha takes the mimosa from the waiter. “You are really earning your tip, sweetheart. While I have you, I'll take two omelet breakfast burritos with a side of french toast and a side cup of fruit. Wanda? What are you having?” 

Wanda is thrown off by the new information she had just received that she doesn't remember a single menu item that she had been mulling over while waiting for Agatha. “I-I suppose I'll have the same. Thank you,” she hands the waiter the menu and takes a sip from her mimosa. “So wait, they told you about this?” Wanda asks as she tries to make sense of anything. 

“You're talking about Jean and Anna right?” Wanda nods. “Then yeah, at your new years eve party, we were sharing stories about experimenting with a substance or two and they said that they had taken shrooms on their day off to help them heal or whatever and they both saw a baby that was supposed to be theirs and they were thinking of asking Y/n to help them,” Agatha explains and suddenly everything seems clearer to Wanda. Why else would they think this was a sane idea? 

“Wow,” Wanda shakes her head just as she gets into the details of what Jean and Anna actually asked of you. The food comes out before Wanda is finished explaining, interrupting her for a moment. Agatha shakes her head as she cuts into her burrito shaped eggs when her friend continues the absurd story. 

“The nerve,” she says as she stabs her fork into her food. “The amount of cases I see where people are begging for the other biological parent to give a single fuck about their children is ridiculous as it is. But never do I experience someone expecting a caring person to give that up.” Wanda agrees. She has to work so hard to keep Vision in her kids' lives. Part of her has thought about what it would be like to just stop calling him, stop dropping the boys off, but she knows that doesn't benefit the boys. Besides, he would most likely use that as a reason to take her to court or use it as a way to tarnish her reputation with mutual friends and colleagues. He's very good when it comes to working a room against those he loathes the most. 

“I don't want to believe that Y/n would agree to something like this but, I am still getting to know them. It seems like Jean is a person in their life that they can't say no to,” Wanda starts. “What legal steps do you think Y/n should take in order to protect themselves and their rights in this matter.” 

Agatha tips her head side to side as she thinks. “You're lucky I lost that bet, because if Jean and or Anna had to pay me on new years eve then I wouldn't be able to help. It would have made it a little more difficult, I should say.” She pulls one of her business cards out of its holder and hands it to Wanda. “Give this to Y/n as soon as possible and have them book an appointment immediately. I'll have to take a lot less than my normal fee but I'm willing to take the case and be their lawyer. Besides, it's a requirement that I take a few pro bono cases a year. This will help me meet my quota. Y/n just has to be vigilant and meet with me first.”

Wanda nods as she listens to every direction carefully. Agatha then changes the subject to her dating life and how she's thinking about taking a break from the dating scene. Mostly because one of her hookups turned out to be the gym teacher at the kids school. She didn't know until after an awkward encounter when Nicholas had been dropped off early without her knowledge and he recognized his gym teacher. “Poor boy is traumatized, we're both starting individual therapy this week,” Agatha concludes as she takes a sip of the tea the waiter brought out for her. 

“You're seeing a therapist?” Wanda’s mouth hangs open. 

“Close your mouth, you'll catch flies,” Agatha taps the tips of her fingers against the bottom of Wanda's chin. Wanda shuts her mouth. 

“I'm sorry, I just, I never saw you as the therapy type is all. But, no, I'm sorry that came out all… that's great!” Wanda stumbles on her words, amusing Agatha. 

“Oh please, I've been very vocal over the years about how you and Carol are the only therapy I need. But, well, now Nicholas is scarred for life and it was my actions that caused that, so I have to face the consequences,” Agatha elaborates. “We'll see how it goes, of course.” 

On Monday, Bucky and Thor check in at the start of their shifts when they arrive at the job site. They each take turns in expressing their concerns and you assure them that you are fine. You thank them and they eventually move on to do their part of the job but you can tell that they don't fully believe you. It’s not something you can dwell on when you’re working. It’s dangerous to think about anything other than work when you’re here. A distraction and a simple mistake could cost someone’s life in this industry. 

After a long shift, you drive to Wanda’s house to pick up Rachel. You’re exhausted but you mentally prepare yourself to be in Rachel’s presence. You know that she will have so much to talk about and you want to give her your undivided attention. Plus, you’re going to have to have the energy to make her dinner. When you pull up to Wanda’s driveway, you call your friend to have her send your daughter out but she invites you inside. You didn't want her to invite you to stay for dinner because she was already doing so much for you, but Wanda is pretty convincing. After some resistance, you end up in her bathroom to clean up for dinner. Washing your face and your hands to remove the dirt and grime.

Dinner starts with Tommy and Billy going on and on about the tournament that they're training for. Just as Wanda warned that they would. You hang onto their every word as they describe what they practice at the dojo. Eventually they get too excited and start talking over each other, resulting in them to start bickering with each other. 

“Hold on, boys. Please, you can go one at a time. I don't mind hearing both of your perspectives,” you say calmly to get them to focus on the subject rather than the argument of who should tell the story. The boys are so used to competing for Vision’s attention that neither considered that you’d like to hear from the both of them. Wanda watches as you get them to settle down without raising your voice or threatening them with some sort of punishment. She can't see why Jean would want to cut you out of this part of having a child. But she definitely understands why she's asking to have another child with you. Your patience is giving Wanda baby fever. 

Then you make sure that Rachel gets to talk about her day once her boys have gone on too long. You listen with the same enthusiasm that you showed her boys as Rachel goes on about how she was a warrior princess during recess even though Wanda doubts you have any interest in either of the topics. When Rachel is done speaking, you turn to Wanda. “And how was your day? I know it's tough to follow ninja training,” you gesture to the twins, “and my little warrior princess. But I’d still love to hear about it.” Your tone is soft as you speak to her. Wanda finishes her meal to occupy her mouth as she thinks of a proper response and to stop herself from blushing because of your attentiveness. 

“It was good. I got a lot of work done and then I picked up the kids,” she smiles at the three of them and messes with Billy's hair since he's the closest to her. You smile as you watch her. “We did homework and then we made dinner together. Rachel was a really big help. We were very happy to have her. Weren't we?” Wanda directs the question to her boys who nod with wide smiles. 

“I don't like salads but I think Rachel made the best one I've ever had,” Tommy compliments as he helps himself to another serving of the salad.

“Thank you,” Rachel responds shyly. “I really like the bread you made. It was my favorite part.” The meal was spaghetti with salad and cheesy garlic bread. She grabs another slice of bread to add to her plate. You watch the kids interact with a slight fear that they might develop feelings for each other in the future. For the moment, you push the thoughts away from your mind. Rachel is smarter than you and her mother, she won’t make the same mistakes. You hope. 

When the kids eventually run from the table because you warn that Rachel has ten minutes left here, that's when Wanda finally brings up the conversation she had with Agatha the day before. “I just want you to be protected if you decide to go through with it,” Wanda says as she finishes explaining. 

You stare at the card for a moment and sigh. “Thank you for this but I already told her I'm not doing it.”  

Wanda is surprised to hear that you said no. When she last saw you on Saturday, you were beating yourself up about saying yes. She wonders what changed but she doesn't question it. “Still, call Agatha and set up a meeting. Just in case. You don't want to be caught in something that you can't get out of and Agatha is a really great lawyer.” 

On Wednesday, you are spending your lunch break sitting in Agatha’s office. You tell her that you already declined Jean’s proposition but express your concern that Jean might try something in retaliation. “Interesting,” Agatha starts as she leans closer. “How so?”

You look out the large windows in her corner office and sigh. You clench your jaw as you think about the times that Jean has been denied in the past and it wasn’t ever good. “She just, she doesn’t like to be told no. I don’t know what she’ll do but she’s capable of anything. Honestly, I’m kind of scared to drop Rachel off on Sunday because she might not let me see her again until I change my answer.” 

Agtha sits up with a concerned frown. “She shouldn’t be able to do that. Unless,” she squints her eyes as she looks you up and down. “Do you have partial custody of Rachel?” 

“Yes, but it’s a little more complicated than that.” You bite the inside of your cheek as you look at Agatha like a child telling his mother that he did something bad. “At the time of our divorce I was between jobs and didn’t really have my own place to live. The judge saw me as an unfit parent that should only be allowed supervised visitations on the weekends.” You explain slowly as you go over the details from your memory. “Jean thought that was a crazy ruling but didn’t say anything in court. I think because she was broke and single at the time and wanted to be the one who received child support.” You shake your head as you remember the darkest period of your life. “We eventually worked out our own arrangement but we never updated it with the court. And honestly I forgot all about it until this stuff came up. But, gosh, I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid.” You run your fingers through your hair and lift your tongue to the roof of your mouth to prevent yourself from crying. “On paper, Jean has more parental rights to Rachel than I do.” 

Agatha nods as she takes notes. “Actually, you might have more than you think,” she says. “I have looked up Jean’s address and it’s not within Rachel’s current school district. Correct?” You confirm. “But your address is, is that correct?” You confirm again and sit up straighter as you clear your throat. “Well, then that means you have documentation stating that Rachel’s permanent address is the same as your permanent address. Which could be used as evidence that you are her primary caregiver and not your ex-wife.” 

“But I’m not her primary, I mean, we both take care of her eqaually,” you respond nervously. Not wanting to start a nasty custody battle with Jean right now. 

“Listen, I know this is overwhelming. I’m not going to send a formal letter to Jean or petition the court without your say so. I’m just thinking about worst case scenario. I genuinely hope that when you drop off Rachel on Sunday that you will be able to pick her up on the following Sunday. But in the event that Jean decides to enforce her rights as the primary caregiver, then we have to be ready to present your case to a judge. Besides, for Rachel’s sake, you should have that updated soon. You’re a good parent and anyone can see how much she adores you. Do you want to have that taken from you in the blink of an eye?” Agatha poses a compelling argument and you really start to consider your options here. 

“Can I get back to you on that? I really have to get back to work,” you say instead of giving her the go ahead. You really needed to think about this some more. You worried that if you took Jean to court right now to get it formally stated that you should have equal custody of Rachel, and maybe even got your child support payments lowered, she would do everything in her power to stop you. She was so upset the last time you saw her. You’re surprised she didn’t rip Rachel out of the truck right then and there. Agatha is right, though, Jean can decide to take Rachel from you at any moment and you can’t do much to stop her. 

You consider your options the rest of the day. When you are inevitably left alone with Wanda, you talk about how the meeting went with Agatha. You tell her the information on the patio as the two of you sit and have a glass of wine together. Wanda is speechless at the end of it and she brings two fingers to her lips and blows air out when she removes them. “Are you fake smoking?” You ask as you recognize the gesture. 

“Yes, this is stressful but I'm a mom this week so I can't light a real one,” she says as she continues to pretend to smoke. I can't help but laugh at how serious she is as she speaks. I hold my hand out. 

“Do you mind if I get a hit of that?” I ask and Wanda agrees. She hands you air and you pretend to take a couple of puffs before you hand it back to her. “Whoo, you didn't tell me that was weed!” You say playfully, making Wanda smile. She shrugs in response. 

“I told you I was smoking, I didn't say what I was smoking,” she goes back to pretending to smoke. 

You look up at the night sky and sigh as you think about everything going on in your life right now. “How did everything get so messed up?” The question is rhetorical and not at all directed to Wanda and she knows that. She lets the question go unanswered for a few minutes as silence lingers between the two of you. 

“I don’t know,” Wanda looks at you with a slight frown and sad eyes. She reaches out and holds your hand. You accept the small gesture of comfort. “What do you think you're going to do?” You shake your head, not really knowing what you should do. “Do you think you can have a rational conversation with her?” You shrug, before Jean made the request you would have said yes without any doubt. Now, you're not as confident in any answer. 

“I should at least try though, right?” You ask rhetorically. Wanda shrugs, mentioning that it might not hurt. You smile. “Would you mind if I dropped Rachel off here on Saturday? So that I can have a conversation with Jean and Anna without risking Rachel's ignorance to the situation.” 

Wanda nods, “Of course! I'm sure the boys will love it. Besides, I'm probably going to be in your debt for a while since you've volunteered yourself to be the boys punching bag until their tournament is over.” 

You laugh, “You're never in my debt, Wanda. I'm happy to help the boys with any extra training. And if anyone is in debt here it's me with you. You've done so much for a stranger that you met last summer in a liquor store.” You smile fondly at the memory of seeing a woman who looked like she needed some kindness in that moment. “I don't know how to thank you enough.” 

Wanda thinks about how the two of you haven't known each other for a year and yet it feels as though you've always been in her life. She smiles, “When you put it like that, I don't know how we ever got here in the first place. I should have had you arrested.” 

“What?” You are amused by the statement. “Why would you have me arrested?”

“I was a mess that day! Then you're hitting on me? I don't know, it's kind of a red flag that you were interested in me when I was broken.” 

“Hitting on you?” You make a face. “No offense, but I was far from hitting on you that day. You looked lonely but not in the ‘I’m open for a hookup’ kind of lonely. Like the ‘I might throw myself off a bridge if someone doesn't smile at me’ kind of lonely.” 

Wanda’s jaw drops. “You're telling me that you only approached me because I looked suicidal?” 

You shrug with a nod, “Kind of.” Wanda’s grip on your hand loosens as she shakes her head but she finds the whole scenario to be a bit funny. “But hey, if we hadn't met that night, we would have met a number or times. That just happened to be our origin story.” 

Wanda closes her fingers around your hand again as she thinks about it. She was going to meet you for the first time when you came over to work on her wall. And if she hadn't met you either of those times, then it might've been because of Rachel and her boys being friends. If not then, it could've been a PTA meeting or at a school sanctioned event. She hadn't realized how connected her life is to yours until now. It feels like destiny. It feels like she was enchanted to meet you. 

On Saturday, after you dropped Rachel off with Wanda, you are standing at the front door of Jean and Anna’s house. You are working up the nerve to knock on the door. You pace back and forth making the situation bigger and bigger in your mind. 

“Y/n?” Jean’s voice startles you and you jump as you turn around. Jean and Anna both have grocery bags in their hands. You didn’t even think that they weren’t home this entire time. 

“Hey, hi, um,” you stumble on your greeting. “Here, let me get that for you.” You take the bags from Jean’s hands and she looks at you weird but she doesn’t stop you. She unlocks the front door and you follow the two women inside. 

“What brings you here?” Anna asks as she starts to pull items out of the bag, 

“Where’s Rachel? Is everything okay?” Jean asks with a concerned frown. 

You are confused by their calm demeanors. You expected the two to be upset with you. You expected Jean to be hostile towards you. “She’s fine, she with her friends. I wanted to talk to you guys about the whole baby thing. Without Rachel being nearby,” you state as you nervously rub your hands together. 

“Oh,” Jean says as she stops unpacking the reusable grocery bag. “I’m sorry about my reaction on Sunday. I’ve been so emotional lately, I don’t know why. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. Especially not with Rachel so close by.” 

“So you’re not mad that I won’t do it?” You ask with caution, not sure if you’re safe or not right now. 

Jean takes a deep breath and Anna comes up behind her to hold her. “I’m not mad at you. It was an unfair thing to ask of you. I truly apologize. I don’t know, I just thought that Rachel is such a wonderful kid and she was such a good baby that I didn’t want to risk creating some sort of little monster with someone else.” 

You smile as you think about what Rachel was like as a baby and she wasn’t easy at all. “I hate to break it to you but Rachel was a nightmare when she was a baby. She didn’t become enjoyable until she was a toddler.” Jean makes a face as she claims that’s not how she remembers it. “That’s because I let you sleep through it. But that kid had a set of lungs on her and she made sure to use them at two in the morning every night for months. Then she spit up everything we fed her, then she had the phase when she would grab her poop and fling it. I can go on and on.” Jean’s expression changes as she makes a connection from your words to a suppressed memory.

“I guess you’re right,” Jean mumbles. “I guess I just had my rose colored lenses on it all. I’m sorry.” You shrug and let her know that it’s okay. “Is that all that you wanted to talk about?” 

You bite your cheek as you wonder if you should even bring up the custody issue but decide that now is as good of a time as any. “I will admit, your reaction on Sunday did scare me. It reminded me that I don’t have as much custody over Rachel as I should and -”

“Wait, no, you do,” Jean stops you and you make a shocked expression. “Don’t you remember? There was all of this paper work that we all had to fill out when Anna was adopting Rachel. So that we have equal custody?” You crease your eyebrows as you think back to several months ago and you vaguely remember signing a bunch of legal documents. Jean walks out of Anna’s arms and over to her study. She reappears with a folder and shuffles through the documents inside. “Here it is,” she hands it to you. “Right there it states that we have an even split joint custody with no imbalance. Not like that bullshit first ruling. I think that judge was just mad that you identify as nonbinary.” You take the document and look it over and that’s when memory comes back to you. How could you forget a momentous occasion like that?

“Oh, wow, I’m sorry. I don’t know how I forgot,” you look up from the document. “I’m sorry that my mind went to the idea that you would keep Rachel from me.” You hand the document back to Jean and she puts it back into it’s folder. She hugs you and you relax in her arms. 

“It’s not your fault, I have done some questionable things in the past. I mean hell, I asked you to be a sperm donor in the most bizzare way possible. I wouldn’t have trusted me if I were you.” This causes your body to shake with laughter. “Are we okay?” Jean asks as she steps back. You nod with a relieved grin. “Good, because we are going to be in each other’s lives forever and I don’t want us to hate each other. Forever is a long time.”

“I agree,” you say softly. “I’m glad that we could resolve this too. It’s been weighing heavy on me the past couple of weeks.” You stay with Jean and Anna for an hour to catch up with them and make sure that everything between the three of you is actually resolved. Then you drive to Wanda’s house. She and the kids are playing an intense game of Mario Kart, a game you’ve been banned from because you win every time, and you don’t want to interrupt. You sit next to Wanda and laugh when you notice that she is in last place. When Tommy wins he jumps out proudly. 

“Take that! I win! I’m a winner! You’re all losers! Haha you guys suck!” He does a little dance that makes you dislike him for the moment. You know that he’s a good kid but he wasn’t a good sport when it came to competition. It was something that Wanda says that Vision encouraged. That Vision only produces winners. 

Rachel doesn’t like the excessive showboating and she stands up with a red face. “We don’t suck! You’re just a cheater!”

“Am not!” Tommy scowls at the accusation. 

“Are too!” Rachel fires back. 

You grab her around her waist and pull her to sit on your lap. “Cool off, tiger,” you say as you hold your daughter. “It’s just a game, okay?” 

“But Baba, he always wins and it’s not fair!” She pouts as she crosses her arms over her chest and glares at Tommy. You look at Wanda for help but she is preoccupied with comforting Billy, he was fighting tears. So instead you start to tickle Rachel to distract her from the loss. She squeals as she tries to get out of your grasp. You let go of her and stand up after she does. 

“Bad sportsmanship has awoken the Tickle Monster!” You roar as you hold your arms up in the air and wiggle your fingers. Tommy and Billy’s eyes widen along with Rachel’s as they watch you act foolish. You stomp up to Tommy and start to tickle him until he escapes your grasp. 

“Run! It’s the Tickle Monster!” He shouts as he runs away. You grab Rachel again as she runs past you ans she screeches out as you tickle her. “No! Rachel!” Tommy says as he turns around.

“Go!” Rachel gets out between laughs. “Save yourselves!” You don’t stop tickling her until Billy and Tommy both charge for your legs. They knock you down and you releas your daughter. Tommy and Billy start tickling you back and you laugh until you can’t breathe. 

“Okay, that’s enough boys,” Wanda intervenes. You open your eyes and see that she is recording you. 

Tommy and Billy don’t stop so you have to beg them, “Boys! Boys! The Tickle Monster is dead! It’s me! It’s Y/n!” They finally stop tickling you and move away. Rachel then challenges the boys to a physical race in the backyard. You lay on the floor catching your breath as the three kids run to the backyard. 

“Thank you for that,” Wanda says as she sits on the couch. 

“To be honest, I wasn’t sure if Rachel was going to kill Tommy or if Tommy was going to kill her,” you say as you sit up and lean on your elbows. “Figure I turn myself into the enemy before we had a massacre on our hands.” Wanda laughs as she nods her head. She look out the backdoor and watches the three kids set up their little race. 

“So, how’d it go?” She asks as she turns back to you. 

“Everything has been resolved,” you state as you stand up. “It was a nice conversation, actually.”

Wanda puts her hand on her chest, “That’s amazing news. I’m so glad to hear that.” Then she makes a face as a thought crosses her mind. “Wait, when you say that it got resolved you don’t mean-” 

“No,” you shake your head, “I didn’t agree to the whole baby thing.” Wanda relaxes again and then stretches over the couch to get a better view of the kids. She doesn’t want any of them to get hurt and she is especially worried about Rachel and her bad leg. “I’m surprised she thinks she has a chance to win in that cast,” you say as you watch the kids aswell. 

“Well that’s what happens when you teach kids to believe that they can do whatever they want,” Wanda shrugs. She smiles when the boys don’t run as fast as they can and let Rachel win. She knows that they can be a little competitive at times, well Tommy more than Billy, but she still has hope that they’ll grow into kind men one day. 

After their race is over, Tommy tackles Billy, making you and Wanda run outside to break it up. Tommy gets punished because Billy got a bloody nose from the attack. While you help Billy practice for the tournament, Tommy has to do chores. He washes dishes and has to clean his room. He’s upset that he has to clean but he did feel bad for causing his brother to bleed. So he does as he is told. 

Billy’s nose doesn’t bleed for long. You examine it carefully and tap the nostrils and ask him if any of it hurts. When you can confirm that he is fine you start to ask him a ridiculous amount of times if something hurt until he started to laugh. You tell him to get his uniform on so that Wanda can get the blood stains out of his shirt and so that the two of you can practice. 

You didn’t take martial arts when you were younger but you wanted to be helpful to Wanda’s kids because she is always so helpful with your daughter. Since the day you offered to help them, you went to bed watching training videos. You were a little nervous about practicing with them but you knew how to be careful enough to not hurt them. Plus, you figured that anything you did wrong, Tommy and Billy would correct you. 

When Billy is ready, you and him stand in the middle of the backyard on the grass. Wanda is sitting on her patio with Rachel. Both of them have a glass of ice tea in front of them with a pitcher sitting in the middle of the table. They both cheer you and Billy on. The both of you bow before getting in the fighting position. You are impressed with how coordinated Billy is and you can tell that he wants to be a winner. Tommy is finished with his chores before you and Billy are done with the match and as you predicted, when you did something wrong, the boys called you out on it. Tommy ran over to show you how to properly stand and make the move. You did as he told you and then rewarded him by telling him to get dressed because he was next. 

Wanda was planning on making dinner but because she enjoyed watching you train with her boys, she ordered takeaway instead. She figured that it would be a nice treat for everyone anyway. She watches your every move, you’re not as coordinated as her boys but she is impressed by what you’ve been able to learn in the past few days. She knows that you weren’t an expert in the sport but she was touched by your dedication to help her kids. 

“Alright, time to eat!” Wanda calls out when the door bell goes off, signalling the delivery of the food. “You boys were so good,” she praises as she kisses her sons on the tops of their heads. “Go wash up so we can eat.” Rachel runs off with the boys to go wash her hands as well, leaving you and Wanda alone for the moment. You and Wanda set the table together and lay out the different types of pizza on the counter. When everything is set, Wanda surprises you with a hug. You accept it with a small laugh as you ask her what the hug is for. “You don’t know what it means to me that you’re being so helpful with them,” she admits against your chest. You don’t know what to say so you just hold her for the moment. 

“Wanda, I need to wash my hands too,” you say when you’ve let go of the hug but she hasn’t.

“Fine,” she says as she steps away. You wash your hands in the kitchen sink. The kids run through and Wanda goes over the kinds of pizza’s she ordered and the kinds of drinks she has available. The each fill their plates and you help them with filling their cups. 

“Are you going to be at our tournament?” Billy asks as he adjusts his glasses on his face, they had slipped down the bridge of his nose. 

“Um,” you look at Wanda, unsure about how to answer. You figured that this might be something that Vision might go to and since Rachel isn’t in the class or even remotely interested in the activity, you couldn’t use her as an excuse. Wanda shrugs at first because she isn’t even sure if Vision will attend. He hasn’t been interested in Tommy and Billy since his daughter was born. It hurts Wanda on many levels but she knows the boys have support other than Vision. They have Pietro and Tony and their grandparents. But what helps her the most in this rough moment in her life is that her boys seek your support and validation and you give it unconditionally. She doesn’t want you to worry about not being able to attend so she decides to nod. “Yeah, of course I’ll be there. I have to support my two favorite fighters.” 

“Yes!” Both boys cheer with grins. You find it adorable that they want you there, even though you are nervous about Vision causing a scene. You just hope that nothing goes wrong.

Chapter 16

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The Consort ₊⁺જ⁀➴

NSWF | Explicit 18+ | Angst | Blood | Ascended Astarion | Spawn Tav | Dark | Smut | Trauma | Stockholm Syndrome | Violence

Ascended Astarion x fem Tav

Chapter: 6 | Please Don’t Go

Summary: In a tumultuous tale of love, power, and betrayal, Tav finds herself entangled in a complex relationship with Astarion, a heartless vampire lord who will stop at nothing to maintain control over his newfound spawn. As Tav witnesses Astarion’s transformation and descent into darkness, their love is put to the ultimate test amidst love triangles, drama, and the pursuit of world domination. Redemption seems like an elusive goal while Tav grapples with the realization of who her lover has truly become.

UPDATED EVERY MONDAY.

Notes: Hi, hi 🫶🏼 back again for another chapter - let’s get this shit started

posting couple hours early bc of work ^^

AO3 LINK | MASTER LIST

Lovely photo by @astarionposting

Tav and Astarion arrived back home a day later from the lively party in Waterdeep, and Astarion was unusually quiet as they made their way inside their home.

Without uttering a word, Astarion disappeared into his study, completely in his own silence. It was like he was in deep thought and Tav was no interruption.

She sighed.

He seems like something's on his mind...Maybe being home again made the reality of his ascension real each time he came back to this damned palace without a problem.

Tav put down her coat and followed Astarion into his study, where she found him sitting in a luxurious chair, fists against his mouth, staring aimlessly into the fireplace.

He was in one of his moods.

In a gentle tone, “Is everything alright?” Tav took a few steps and stood beside him. Leaning over slightly, her eyes tried to get a peek at his face.

Astarion remained motionless, his eyes still fixed on the flickering flames. Without turning to look at Tav, he spoke lowly, “How would you feel if I shared my gift? Eternal life. In exchange, spawn will serve us, carrying out tasks that others would shy away from.”

Tav’s laughed nervously, her head tilting slightly in disbelief. “Is that what that woman wanted from you..?” she asked, trying to make sense of his words.

A moment of silence passed before Astarion shook his head slowly. He straightened up from his position and moved closer to the fireplace, feeling the warmth caress his pale skin. “No,” he replied quietly.

“It appears that I was not the only person trying to kill Cazador,” Astarion continued, his eyes narrowing as he recalled recent events. “Although her attempt was unsuccessful, she did plant a seed of thought in my mind.”

Turning to face Tav directly, Astarion’s gaze bore into hers. “We could amass an army of our own kind, create more like us, and crush any mortal foolish enough to oppose our rule. The legacy of House Ancunin shall be one of power and dominance.”

Tav bit her lip and averted her gaze from him. She knew he was set on this but that woman. Something didn't feel right about her, "More like us...? I don’t want there to be anyone else. I want it to be just me and you, not create another house of spawns!”

Tav could feel Astarion's gaze on her. Admittedly, her possessiveness over him touched him for a brief moment.

Tav instantly tried to justify herself, "Look at Cazador's downfall. I don't want you to end up like him, I only worry for you Astarion..."

He snapped quickly, "I am NOT Cazador. I am better than him."

Tav scuffed, “Bend, break, and manipulate all the petty royals you want, but I will not share my home with any spawn.”

Astarion rolled his eyes, "You’re quite set on this aren’t you?" He walked up to Tav, challenging her with eyes like daggers, "You do know, your future is mine to control."

"You are mine. Aeterna Amantes - Lovers forever, until the world falls down." his fingers traced her jawline while his eyes burned into hers.

Astarion’s words were tainted with ownership and control. It was not a promise of equal love, but a statement of possession, "If I wanted to burn this world to the ground, make everyone kneel at my feet, you will be there by my side.”

The tingle of his soft touch grazed her jaw, opposite to his tainted words.

She stared at him with hurt in her eyes...How unbelievable, this was not the person Tav thought he was. "Is this all you care about - Power? What about us?" Tav took a couple steps away from him, shaking her head. To think he would want anything more out of Tav now.

I want us to be happy.

I want it all. I want to travel the world. I want a family, not a dictatorship.

Did I make a mistake?

“You already possess everything, yet you fail to recognize it!” Tav yelled, watching as Astarion’s chest rose and fell with frustration.

Astarion sighed in annoyance. How could she be so foolish and not understand the endless possibilities?

"It's not enough! I will not be that weak spawn I once was," Astarion got closer to Tav with each syllable he harshly spat.

Tav took a step back, her eyes wide with realization.

"I'll...never be enough for you. You will never be...the Astarion I met when he had nothing, only love to give me." Her voice cracked with hurt and anger.

Tav gestured towards him with her eyes glossed in hurt, "And look at you now."

Astarion puffed his chest out, his eyes gleaming with pride. “I am a vampire ascendant. I am powerful.”

Tav shook her head, “No, Astarion. I just want you to respect my opinions too as your consort! You are not Cazador. And I will not become like you.”

His eyes flickered for a moment, softening to her statement. The way her words hit into him landed a little too close to home. For a moment, sympathy was in his stare.

It hurt him deeply. For her to stare at him the way he used to stare at Cazador.

Tav was enough.

Tav’s hands dropped to her sides in defeat. The tears in her eyes threatened to fall but she tried to stay strong. Tav didn't want to be weak in front of him. She started to storm off from Astarion, but he quickly questioned her with desperation.

Astarion’s voice cracked with hurt suddenly, "Where are you going?" His chest felt like it was collapsing in with furrowed brows.

“Out.” She pushed past Astarion, her face flushed a deep red with boiling anger.

Astarion’s breath hitched, his anger starting to rise with grief. How could she...How dare she?

The atmosphere in the room shifted instantly as he yelled out to Tav, grasping her arm and pulling her back towards him. “WHERE THE HELLS ARE YOU GOING?”

Tav stumbled over her feet, attempting to break free from Astarion’s grasp. This frightened her...she'd never seen him like this before.

Tav cried out, ripping her arm away and breaking free from his hold. “Stop it!”

She couldn’t leave. She belonged to him. The thought of Tav walking away tore at him, constricting his throat and leaving him gasping for air. His lungs ripped out Tav’s name repeatedly.

“You can’t leave me!” Astarion's eyes went wet with rage.

The room went dizzy for Astarion. The reality of his actions started to weigh heavy at that moment. His head was running a thousand miles away to a dark place.

Don't go.

Don't leave me alone with myself.

He followed sternly after Tav, quickly reaching out for her wrist.

I need you.

Please.

Suddenly, something within Tav seemed to snap, and her eyes glowed into a deep yellow. Her druid form took over her body, taking on an animalistic appearance with claws extending from her fingertips.

In one swift motion, Tav’s hand swiped back through the air, perfectly connecting with Astarion’s face. He released her wrist immediately.

He clutched his own face with a pained groan. Astarion looked down at his bloodied palm in shock and disbelief. She scratched me.

Tav’s eyes instantly reverted back to their pale white, and she gasped at the sight of what she had just done. Her stomach knotted when she trailed the droplets of blood drip off his jaw.

She blinked repeatedly, trying to come to the reality of what just happened.

Tav reached out her hand to Astarion, "I -...Oh gods, Astarion I'm s-so..." Astarion cut Tav off and recoiled in anger and disbelief.

He stared at her coldly and menacing, causing Tav to shrink back in fear.

“Go,” Astarion growled through gritted teeth, averting his gaze from her. “Get out of my sight.”

Without a word more Tav sniffled and walked out of the room with tears running down her face.

Fuck.

Tav didn't mean to hurt him. She wasn't even sure what had just taken over her, she was never violent like that on a whim. This wasn't like herself at all.

She ran out of the palace, aimlessly walking around the city in the dead of night. The tears stained her skin wet and in the back of her mind, she thought of Ross.

She remembered what he had told her: "If you’re ever looking for someone to talk to back home, I’m always at the Blushing Mermaid."

Tav sniffled and wiped her tears with her sleeve. Maybe she could confide in someone...

~

Tav made her way to the Blushing Mermaid, and before she could even walk inside, she could smell the strong scent of alcohol. She recoiled in her stomach, that terrible smell of drunk people. Eck.

She opened the doors, and Gods the smell was even worse. But it was very lively, singing, dancing, yelling, and loud music being played by a nearby band.

Tav sank onto a barstool, her gaze wandering aimlessly across the crowded room. The bartender, an older man, caught sight of her weary expression and slid a drink her way. "You look like you need this more than I do," he said.

Grateful, Tav clasped the glass, offering a nod of appreciation before taking a sip.

Just as the fiery liquid burned its way down her throat, a pair of hands landed gently on her shoulders. Tav turned, finding Ross settling into the seat beside her. A warm smile spread across his face. "Hey, Tav! I knew that was you," he greeted with genuine delight.

But as his eyes fell on her red eyes and tear-streaked cheeks, his smile faded. "What happened?" He tilted his face with concern.

Embarrassment washed over Tav, and she lowered her head in shame, a self-deprecating chuckle escaping her lips. "Just got into a fight with Astarion...I feel terrible," she admitted with regret. Ross's frown deepened as he listened intently, his eyes fixed on her every word.

He half-smiled, "Do you want to talk about it? We can get out of here. It's a little too loud right now." Standing up, he extended his hand towards Tav.

She hesitated for a moment before accepting his offer, feeling the touch of his hand under hers. But his kindness was comforting.

"I know a good spot." Ross softly let go of her hand and they walked silently to the docks of the shore. Their shoes clicked and echoed under the wood of the docks and Ross took a deep breath of the salty air, "Now tell me - why the tears?"

Tav bit down on her lips and crossed her arms in a self-hug, "I accidentally scratched him in the face...and made him bleed."

"What? Now why would you do that?"

"He grabbed my wrist and...ah...fuck - I don't know what came over me."

"Wait, wait -" His eyes narrowed in confusion and anger, "Why was he grabbing you in the first place?" he clicked his tongue in dispute.

Tav shook her head over and over, "I was trying to leave and he didn't want me to go."

Ross became passionate at the moment and raised his voice, "So?! No one should be putting their hands on you like that. That's really possessive, don't you think?"

Tav felt defeated and she went to wipe a single tear that fell from her eyes. He was right and hearing the truth made it sting even more.

Tav ran her fingers threw her locs and lifted her hair in a ponytail, gripping her scalp as a stress reliever. Just as Tav heaved out a stressful sigh Ross went uncharacteristically silent.

When she turned her head, Ross had been staring at her with wide eyes, his mouth slightly a gap.

"Oh no..." He whispered into the air as he approached Tav closer.

Her heart skipped a beat, and the warmth of his hand fell on her chin, pulling her face to the side. His eyes glared at the bite marks that scared Tav's skin.

Ross wetted his lips and softly spoke, "Did he do this to you...?"

Tav averted her eyes and stepped away, breaking their contact. She turned her back and hid her scars with her thick hair. Her fingers nervously brushed down the strands.

"Tav - are you a vampire?" Ross sounded dumbfounded, maybe even disappointed.

"I don't need your disappointment too."

Ross scoffed and shook his head, pressing his thumbs firmly on the bridge of his nose, "I'm just surprised. I didn't think your relationship with him went that far." Tav was right. He was disappointed, this was vital information his sister would definitely want to hear...but he didn't feel right about it.

He pitied Tav.

"He's a monster." Ross sneered to himself.

Tav quickly turned her head, and her demeanor quickly became defensive, "He’s not a monster he’s just hurt!" Tav snapped at Ross and just as she had quickly defended Astarion, her attitude simmered back down, not meaning to yell at her friend like that.

Her head pounded with overwhelming feelings. Things between her and Astarion changed when he ascended and it was boiling to a breaking point for Tav.

She whispered out, her voice cracking and barely audible, "All that pain...It changed him into something he's not."

When she faced Ross straight on, the tears on her cheeks sparkled against the moonlight, "Is it my fault?"

Ross shook his head and placed his hand on her shoulder, stroking it to calm her, "Don’t blame yourself…"

Tav held her breath, her body became timid and shaky, "He's just so full of hurt and I don't know how to get through to him."

Ross scrunched his lips to the side in a furrow and eyed her wet face, "If he is smart, he'd apologize for treating you like an object."

She buried her face between her hands, sobbing as she sank to the floor and held her knees.

Ross knelt down on the floor and gently placed a hand on her back, rubbing her in comfort.

As Tav's cries subsided into sniffles, Ross let out a sigh, "Did you eat anything yet? We can go grab a bite. Get your mind off of things."

Tav looked up at him, her eyes red and tearful, her expression questioning his proposal, "Food isn't going to fill me right now...If you understand."

Ross covered her neck with his hands, "Well this neck is off limits." He teased her and stuck out his tongue.

Tav chuckled a fangy smile and wiped away old tears, "Don't worry," she replied, her voice tinged with playful sarcasm. "I'll save your neck for another day."

"So what do you do for blood then?" He became questionable, trying to figure it out in his head.

"Animals, whatever I can get."

"How about we go hunting outside the walls?" Ross suggested. But Tav felt hesitant, her mind still clouded with sadness.

"The night is young. Plus, I'm kinda curious to see you hunt for something.” He rested his chin into his palm, “Want to see what all that hype was about."

At that moment, she trusted Ross to guide her through this time of sorrow. She saw him as a friend, and an outlet to grow a bond outside of her relationship. A healthy social life.

But then again, Tav could just imagine the look on Astarion's face if he knew about this. Even if it was harmless, she would definitely be punished.

What if he punishes me either way?

Ross snapped Tav out of her thoughts, "If you wish to keep degrading yourself, I'll leave you to it." he stated firmly, his hands slipping into his pockets as he turned to walk away from her.

In a moment of defiance, Tav stood tall and took in a deep breath, "Lead the way."

Ross paused in his steps, surprised by Tav’s response. He turned back to face her, studying her for a moment before nodding slightly. Without a word, he gestured for her to follow as he began walking again.

Next part here

Any thoughts? Comment 👇🏼 I love to engage!

Drama and TRAUMA. Baby Astarion, he’s just deeply rooted in hurt. But let’s build up some relationships between characters, shall we? 😌

[luminouslywriting]

Chapter 7 (Mastermind)—MOTA Fic

A/N: This one is admittedly a little fun and Ruth might be channeling her inner Sobel because she's so annoyed, but who can blame her haha? As always, let me know what you think!

A night out with the British Red Cross girls and the Red Cross girls from Thorpe Abbotts didn’t necessarily strike Ruth as something she would do for fun.  Especially considering that the next day would come all too early and the men would be flying a mission and Ruth would be eagerly awaiting any updates regarding their mission—given the advice she had given Harding earlier that same day. 

Submarine pans in Norway were the up and coming target. Given the fact that her brother was in the Navy and the U-Boats continued to bomb and derail a lot of the Navy’s hard work, Ruth found particular satisfaction in this particular mission. 

Anything that could help one of her brothers was a win in her standards.  And considering that they desperately needed to gain some headway in reaching Germany, taking out the U-Boats would allow for the US Navy and Allied Forces to make their way to the beaches, if successful.  And if they could take the beaches, then they could take the rest of the damn country too. 

Still, Ruth tried to focus on the task at hand.  Her lipstick gently pressed against her lips until the Victory Red was in its proper place and then she turned, finding Helen and Tatty waiting for her.  “You didn’t have to wait for me.  Work ran late.” 

“Yes we did!” Helen exclaimed, bounding over to her and linking arms with Ruth.  They had even convinced the normally practical woman (who normally wore pantsuits) to put a dress on.  Anything to make it feel like a war wasn’t on and they weren’t in Europe for some sort of horrific relief effort. 

“She’s right, you know,” Tatty said pointedly as Helen brought Ruth over to her. 

“But I’m not a nice socializer,” Ruth whined, ever so slightly. 

Tatty just pinched one of her cheeks.  “I think you can do it.  It’s just for one night and there won’t even be other men around!  They’ll be down the street at a different pub!  This one’s just for us Red Cross gals.” 

“Which I’m not.” 

“Yeah but no one else is going to know that!” Helen said. 

Ruth had never been much of a party-goer.  She had attended several parties back during Law School.  But she had always found herself sitting outside or talking to one or two select people in order to gain a semblance of control.  In large settings, it was easy for her to sink into the shadows and just watch people.  People tended to make a fool of themselves when they thought no one was watching.  

And truth be told, she’d rather save her selective social attitudes for someone who could keep up with her mind and wit.  And thus far, she hadn’t really met anyone that could do that.  

The car ride into town was full of chatter.  Evidently, both Tatty and Helen had made some friends with some of the RAF Red Cross girls, a pair of twins by the names of Lana and Florence.  They seemed to be the most agreeable, from what Tatty and Helen had been saying about them. 

Ruth tried to keep an open mind, she really did.  It was a man’s world, even for a woman trying to make friends with other women.  And considering that she had bitten and clawed her way to this position and turned down several friendships and relationships, Ruth wasn’t about to get caught off guard by anyone.  

She wasn’t even sure it was possible for someone to catch her off guard at this point. 

This pub was much more relaxed, with a mostly female clientele and workers.  A few card games went on in different corners, but mostly it was just women talking and sharing things with one another.  It was almost strange, the stark difference between this pub and the one that the officers usually attended. 

The entire atmosphere was lighter and more relaxed.  Ruth found herself sinking into a chair and sipping on a gin as Helen and Tatty introduced her to Florence and Lana, both of whom were nurses in the RAF.  Ruth extended a hand and both women shook it, warm grins spreading across their faces. 

“You didn’t come out last time and Helen had a ball telling us all about you,” Lana exclaimed, dirty blonde curls bobbing up and down as her energy contagiously spread across the table. 

“All true things, I hope?” Ruth questioned, glancing over at Helen and Tatty. 

“Well,” Florence said, leaning into her hand with a grin.  Her rosy cheeks glistened under the dim light, accented by her freckles and strawberry blonde locks of hair.  “They told us that you’re a JAG-Corp lawyer, went to school in Brooklyn—which I suppose is in New York—and that you’ve already made quite a splash with getting the men up to regulation.” 

“I certainly try my best.  Were you two nurses before the war?” Ruth asked, glancing between the two sisters. 

“Oh goodness no!” Lana said, shaking her head.  “I was a model and Flora here did botany with a few biologists!” 

“That sounds fascinating!” Ruth exclaimed.  “I did a bit of modeling back in High School.  And personally, I preferred earth sciences, but biology is fascinating as well!” 

“I knew you’d get along with them,” Tatty said smugly.  “They’re interesting!” 

“Who did you model for?” Helen questioned, tugging on Ruth’s arm to catch her attention. 

“It was just a few shoots for a winter collection,” Ruth said, a slight blush rising on her cheeks.  

“With who?” All four women questioned at the same time. 

“Vogue.” 

The eruptions across the table nearly left Ruth speechless as they all descended upon her with their questions.  By the time that they were done with the questions about modeling, Helen had completely turned the tide of the conversation. 

“You’re telling me no one ever thought to snatch you up, Miss Vogue?” Helen asked, a doubtful expression on her face. 

“Well I broke things off with my fianceé back during Law School—” Ruth admitted, hiccuping slightly as she took another drink of gin.  

“You were engaged?” Tatty asked, wide-eyed at her.  Truthfully, Tatty didn’t view Ruth as the marriage type. 

“Briefly.  And it just wasn’t going to work out between us. He wanted his wife to stay home and have babies and I—well I want to make a difference in the world and I can’t do that personally from a kitchen,” Ruth exclaimed.  “And then there was Winters, and—damn, he was so nice even when I was breaking up with him.” 

“Who?” Lana questioned, tapping on her arm. 

“He’s the reason I asked for a transfer.  I just know he was thinking about asking me to marry him and I’m not the type to settle down for any man!” Ruth explained.  “Now your turn.” 

Florence just snorted, shaking her head.  “Lana’s run away from the altar no less than four times.  Our father won’t pay for another wedding.” 

“Well I just get nervous, that’s all!” Lana exclaimed.  “You’ve never even had a boyfriend!” 

Her sister flicked her in the arm in response.  “Tone, Lana.” 

Ruth grinned.  “You two remind me of my sisters, except I like you two more.” 

“Flattery!” Lana exclaimed.  “I knew you really did like us!” 

“At this point, you’re going to run off with the RAF Red Cross rather than us,” Helen said, shaking her head at Ruth. 

“I would never.  I love America far too much for that.  Besides, you two are my friends and I don’t say that lightly,” Ruth reassured them warmly.  

It was another two or three drinks before Helen and Tatty were ready to go.  Given the fact that Ruth had kept herself (mostly) sober, she led the way back towards base.  They would be walking, given the fact that the car had just dropped them off at the pub and she hadn’t yet memorized the number to call someone for a ride. 

She just hadn’t needed to know the number beforehand, after all. 

Getting Tatty and Helen back to base was a bit like herding cats, she decided.  Much larger and more prone to disaster cats, that is.  But she was a determined woman and she paired the stern demeanor with a gentle grasp on both of their arms as she tugged them along. 

And this is why her brothers always had her come and pick them up when they were drunk. 

Walking down the street with her two friends, Ruth could hear some cheering going on up above.  She wasn’t sure she altogether wanted to know what the men got up to when she wasn’t around and couldn’t be policing them for infractions.  Unfortunately for both herself and all of these men, her path back to base lay through this street, so there was no getting around whatever the hell it was that they were doing. 

Almost immediately upon turning the corner, Ruth regretted all of her life decisions that had led up to this point.  They had no sooner turned the corner that her eyes laid hold of one of the men of the Hundredth in a fist fight with an RAF-Pilot. 

“Oh shit,” Tatty mumbled, eyes going wide at the sight. 

“Ruthie, no—” Helen murmured, clinging to her arm. 

But Ruth would not be deterred.  She stepped forward as Biddick’s fist collided with the RAF Pilot, immediately giving a loud and sharp whistle—the very same whistle she would use to hail taxis in New York. 

Almost immediately, every man standing there knew that they had colossally screwed up in some way.  Bucky Egan just sat in the middle of it all, shoulders tense and a curse spilling from his lips.  “Damnit boys, I knew we shoulda kept it down.” 

“What the hell is going on here?” Ruth demanded, stepping forward.  As she stepped, all of the men jumped backwards, separating from the other RAF-Pilots.  

“Lieutenant—” Major Cleven started with a wince. 

“Shut up and listen,” Ruth snapped, not even glancing in his direction. Her gaze swept across both groups of men, shaking her head at them.  “I can’t even say I’m surprised by the turn of events.  You’re lucky I don’t write all of you up for this,” Ruth said.  “You’re supposed to be fighting the Nazis, not the damn Allied forces.” 

“Ruth—” Bucky started. 

“I said to shut up and listen!” Ruth’s tone shifted very quickly and he fell silent.  There was the authoritative lieutenant in front of them all—the one who won court cases and left men shaking in their boots about the law.  “Weekend passes are hereby revoked for the next two weeks for those of you in the American armed forces.  I will be writing a report to the RAF as well about weekend passes.  Now please, for the love of all that is good and holy, get your shit together and get to bed so you can fight Hitler!” 

There was a slight grumbling and hesitance and Ruth’s cold gaze swept over the men, getting them moving and back towards their respective bases.  With that taken care of, she shoved back towards Helen and Tatty, grabbed them by the arms and began the trek back towards the base with the men. 

“Weekend passes?  Seriously?” Bucky demanded, falling into line with her. 

“You think I condone your playground fighting and taunts?” Ruth questioned, a withering gaze locking onto him. 

“Well no, but—” 

“Is this the part where you tell me that they started it?” Ruth questioned.  “Because my teenage brother gives me the same excuse and I don’t put up with his shit.  What makes you think I’ll put up with yours?” 

“Damn, it is a good thing you’re on our side.  Some of the time,” Bucky mumbled, shaking his head. 

“Damn straight.  Now get to bed.  It’s for your own good.  Aren’t you flying in the morning, Major?” Ruth asked pointedly. 

“Yes, ma’am.” With that, Bucky turned down the other path towards the men’s barracks. 

Ruth finally let a small smile cross her features.  If she could not be loved, then she would be respected and feared—whatever the cost.  “You’re gonna be a boy mom someday,” Helen said, poking at her cheek. 

“God, I hope not.” 

[cinnamonfm]

ic task 006 – interrogation, part iii.

parti i & part ii

📧 from: henrietta.astor@ogden.edu to: astor@da.nyc.gov, marcusastor@acwllp.com subject: Interrogations

Just thought I'd let you both know I'm being called in for another interview on super short notice. I'll let you know once I have any updates.

Henrietta.

📲 Dad - missed call (4) 📲 Mom - missed call (2)

Heni wonders, for a fleeting moment, if this was something that could get easier with time. The whole interrogation thing - the pointed questions, the deliberately uneven chairs, the repeating of questions ad nauseam. It had been unsettling the first time, unsettling the second, and as she takes a seat in the interrogation room for the third time in three years, a stirring in the pit of her stomach makes her think the third time might just be unsettling as well.

"Miss Astor," Agent Choi begins, shuffling the loose sheets of papers in his hands before placing them back on the formica table. A non-verbal full stop. An indicator that something had ended, and that something else was about to begin. "Thank you for taking the time to meet with us." Heni doesn't say anything. There might not be any lawyers present for this interrogation, but if there's one thing she knows, it's not to talk unless absolutely necessary.

"I'm sure you've heard the news," he says then, in what she imagines is largely an effort to fill the silence. She says nothing. Just looks from him, to Murray, to Brown. What higher-ups had they fallen out of step with to be assigned the thankless task of trying to get coherent information out of college students? When no affirmation is immediately forthcoming, he continues: "Did you have any reason to believe that Greer Morrison was dead before any of this came to light?"

The obvious answer, the one that sits at the tip of her tongue, threatening to make an unwelcome appearance, is this: she's been missing for over a year. Is that not reason enough? It's the rational explanation, the simplest explanation. Occam's razor. It's the only thing it could be, right? Everything else is too absurd. There's another moment of prolonged silence as Heni weighs her words carefully. "If I'm being honest," she begins, opting for the liars gambit. "I've tried not to think about that possibility."

She's well aware she's not answering. She's not delusional enough to think they haven't cottoned on, either. But the point isn't to outsmart them. It's to say nothing. To paint yourself as collaborative and cooperative, and most importantly keeping as quiet as you could while your mouth was moving. "So, you and Greer," Choi presses on, pausing to take a sip of his drink. For theatric effect, almost. The cup is placed back on the table, and with it she is offered the rest of his question. "We know you were close. Could you please elaborate on your relationship?"

"No, I don't believe that's necessary. You've put it perfectly. We were close."

There's a faint hint of something in Choi's eyes, then, the sort of disguised frustration you would have to look for to notice. It's there, and then it's not. It couldn't have been visible for more than a second. A fraction of a second, maybe.

So caught up in this is she, that she misses his next question. She hears it, vaguely, enough to make out the words "Penelope" and "Ida", but not enough to piece it together. Not that it matters - they've clearly chalked her momentary lapse of attention up to defiance, and so they've already moved on.

"We understand you were injured of the night on the fire," Choi says, with continued emphasis on the word we, as if to remind Heni that there are two other agents in the room. Or to create this image of the three of them as a cohesive little unit. Three bodies, one mind. There's something about the overstated sense of sympathy in his tone that makes her insides curdle. That makes her want to reach for the fading mark on her leg. He must have felt it, the most minuscule of shifts in the air, because his eyes are directly trained on hers as he speaks: "Do you know why students even were there when they should’ve been at the Commencement Gala?"

The less you say, the less can be used against you later. The less you say, the less can be used against you later. Over and over again the phrase churns in her mind, a reminder to keep her guard up. The informal air of it all is a ruse. No one is taking any notes, sure, but there is a recording device placed between them. There's no such thing as a throwaway comment. "No comment."

It's counter-intuitive, in a way, that to say nothing is the safest bet. Some primal instinct in her wants to speak, to tell them all she knows, but she cannot be certain her name can be kept in the clear if she does. As long as she doesn't speak, she's fine. They've got nothing. It didn't really matter if she had nothing to do with any of it. There was too much to risk.

" Over the past year, have you gotten any anonymous messages? Any threatening ones?" There's another theatrical pause here, one that makes Heni itch to reach across the table and give the coffee cup a push in their general direction. "... Any with misleading information?"

Of course they knew. Of course they fucking knew. She'd been a moron to think going in here solo would be a good idea. "No comment."

"Is there anything you're not sharing with us today?" He asks then, in a tone of voice that indicates that he knows she's hiding something.

When she keeps silent, he slides a business card across the table. "Well, when you change your mind.. get in touch, will you?"

[thewriterg]

𝐣𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬

pairing(s): JJ maybank x oc!charcter, Pope Heyward x oc!character, JJ maybank x pope heyward, pogues x oc!character

summary: pougelandia was paradise and now it was gone and it was back to chaos and commotion

word count: 3.1k+

warning(s): Polyamory themes, jealousy, kidnapping, plane crash, weapons, and language

A/n: —GIFs; @misandriste & @winchvster— So I’m starting a new series chapter two is up on wattpad so if you’re invested and want to get updates early heres my page!

𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃 from a distance as JJ finished hanging up the Pouglandia sign that he a had made from a ratio of cloth and the char off a burnt stick but before the brunette could comment Kiara was already a step ahead cheering the blonde on with all her might

The girl took a step back bare feet sinking in the sand as she began to walk away her orange top that she had made out of one of the blondes tank tops clinging to her body like an overbearing hug leaving the pair alone

Everyone had a job to do and a partner to do it with

Everyone except Bonnie it seemed she did task plenty to keep herself busy and the pogues alive such as cooking meals, showing John B how to crack coconuts more times than she could count beyond her ten fingers, and weaving baskets to carry fish and different berries in

But what partner did she have? JJs attention was basically Kiaras and Pope had Cleo now the girl was inevitably alone

"Going somewhere?" Bonnie didn't turn her head to look at the dark skinned boy on the side of her as she hummed continuing to walk along the trails worm by their feet

"Thought you were picking berries with Cleo" Pope raised his eyebrows slightly inching up to his hairline at the girls tone he didn't think she meant it she always sounded more harsh than she intended majority of the time

"Got done early, when you weren't with JJ I came looking for you" He said in a mater of fact tone as the girl pursed her lips continuing walking her trail

"I think we should just live here, when JJ said it first I thought it was just stupid but I think I could do it with you two." Bonnie finally looked at him and she couldn't help the small smile on her face and Pope didn't miss even when she tried to shake it away

"Come on Jimmy Neutron we need to head back" The brunette sighed watching the sun begin to set on the horizon and the pair began their walk back to the beach

<><><>

"If you could do it all again what would you do different?" Sarah questioned the group sitting in a circle playing one of the games they found themselves playing often

"Get the gold out before Ward did." JJ stated

"Maybe hide the cross a little better." Pope sighed

"Not yell murderer at Ward maybe" Kie grimaced at the thought

"Not threaten to kill Rafe in front of a police station" Bonnie shrugged

"Uh, steal a couple bottles of rum before we jumped off the boat" John B finally responded

"Yea why didn't you do that actually?" JJ questioned turning around to look at the boy with a playful glare

"Maybe 'cause I was in a fight to the death?" The tan boy rolled his eyes

"I would look both ways before crossing the street" Cleo turned to look at John B pausing from sharpening her knife the group took a few more turns until the badly woven hat got placed upon Bonnie's head

"I think I'll finally go with a dare" The girl rolled her eyes as the group clapped JJ going as far as whistling at her finally abandoning the 'safe' answer as John B called it

"I dare you to go with the big jump no one's done it yet" Kiara challenged as Bonnie immediately began to shake her head at the thought as everyone began to boo at her

"Hell No absolutely not" The girl laughed shaking her to the point where she couldn't notice JJ slowly rising out his seat until he finally tackled the girl girl beginning to run off with her in his grasp as she screamed and yelled the girls began to giggle excluding Kiara as Sarah blew kisses in her direction and Cleo help up a heart made from her hand

JJ looked for a good climbing spot and found the best on the other side of the makeshift mountain finally sitting the brunette down on her feet

"JJ I'm not going up there" Bonnie stated looking how far up she would have to climb it was dumb and dangerous

"Come on princess, I'll go with you if it makes you feel better" He was cocky and no matter how much she said she hated it deep down the blonde knew she hated it a little less with him he knew her better that anyone

They knew her better than anyone.

"Come on one foot in front of the other one arm above each other" The pale boy encouraged as Bonnie began rock climbing to the top as he trailed behind her

"Shut up Maybank" The girl didn't know how many times she had rolled her eyes in a day but it had to have broken some record as the pair finally made it to the top they could hear the cheers from their friends down below

"Oh shit" The hair on her neck began to stick up from the cool breeze nipping around her body was the mountain always this far up?

"Don't get cold feet now Bon come on, if you don't hurry I'll throw you I swear" JJ was already at the tip of the platform ready to jump with no hesitation and Bonnie was in the middle of the landing with the almost ground area looking over the rocks

The girl screamed out a laugh as the blonde began to approach her with a small smile on his face

"WAIT okay, okay I'll jump. Just, just let me take off my shorts these are the only dry pair I have" The girl shot the blonde a pleasing look as he stood in his tracks waiting the pogues could be heard by both of them from down below but it began to become background noise as the brunette began to slip the brown shorts off from her waist along with the waist beads her and Sarah's had made with rope and rocks the had searched for around the island

JJ had stretched a hand out to her which she took stepping away from the pile of clothes she had left as the made their way to the tip of the peak the girl had to admit the view was beautiful

"On three" JJ began to count down their fingers still intertwined with one another as he stared at the girls smile her shoulders slightly shaking in anticipation

𝐎𝐍𝐄 He couldn't process how someone like her could even give him the time of day. How she could let him into her bubble of creativity, let him touch her upon her spirituality, she was something that he could understand unlike any subject in school or any problem through at him in life. He knew that she couldn't even begin to understand how bad he has it for her, how bad he has it for them.

𝐓𝐖𝐎 The blonde then turned to look at the dark skinned boy below them both. He was sure that he was the smartest person to walk the planet he'd be an Einstein one day going off to make the world better and giving the government a run for their money leaving him behind taking his heart with him and he'd let him take it to the ends of the earth with no fuss

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 It was settled how could he let someone like them go? The simple answer was that he couldn't even if we wanted it was a the stupidest mistake anyone would ever be able to make and he was sure of himself he wouldn't

𝐆𝐎 They finally jumped still hand and hand as the cold water hit their skin screaming was the first thing they heard when their head were out of the water beginning to swim to shore as the girls laugh erupted his ears as a melody

Pope was the first to reach them both engulfing the two in a hug the water transferring to his shirt off their bodies didn't seem to phase him as JJ laughed openly pushing his wet hair from his face before wrapping an arm around them both before Bonnie's did the same both arms wrapped around both boys shoulders and waist

Her boys they all thought

<><><><>

"That's what I'm talking about now freshly caught" The group sat around a fire eating fish in silence Bonnie had her head rested on Popes shoulder and her legs were over JJs lap as he rubbed his palm against her flesh leaving a trail of goosebumps as he went

The rest of the pogues couldn't help but sneak glances in awe it took long enough John B would say but the silence was enough and spoke for itself

Kiara watched them all with a sinking feeling in her stomach she wasn't chirpy about it how was she supposed to be when the boy she had feelings for found that same feeling in other people?

<><><><>

Pope could feel himself stir as he began to blink away the sleep from his eyes at the sound that evaded his ears on the usually silent island when the pogues weren't talking and the waves weren't crashing against shore he happened to look up in the sky at helicopter that flew over the ocean close to the island

"Guys wake up!" The boy was immediately up on his legs grabbing his shoes and JJs lighters that once rested in Bonnie's bag before he was off

Bonnie woke up the sight of the brown skin boy that once lied next to her running from her peripheral view was enough to get her on her feet as she quickly tapped JJs thigh before going to follow him

It didn't take long to catch up to Pope as you both ran up the hill to a pile of wood that you had made just in case as the boy cursed at the spiking lighter that wouldn't erupt in the wind until Bonnie cupped her hand around it making a small flame that was enough to light the sticks and tree branches as the pair began to yell waving their hands in the air

"𝐇𝐄𝐘, we're over here!"

"𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 help us!"

The plane continued a it seemed no matter how much the pair screamed it was deemed useless as they both panted heavily until the plane began to turn to its side wings frozen in the air as it turned around

"Pope, Pope they see us!" The girl yelled tapping his shoulder jumping up and down until the boy picked her up his arms resting under her thighs spinning in circles as they both screamed in victory

The pogues began to run after the plane that landed in the pond as the door opened and a middle aged man long hair and a button up shirt stepped out

"Well what do we got here?" Pope ran up to John B wrapping an arm around his shoulder as both boys exclaimed in victory while Bonnie approached JJ with a bright smile that he couldn't quite mirror as she hugged his side her head resting against his bicep and just the peak of his shoulder and the blonde didn't hesitate to hold her before he handed her her bag

"You know, just some castaways." John B replied brightly

"Well I'll cross that off the grocery list, you know I got just the thing for y'all the two things you need on a deserted island first aid and rum" The man tossed both of the said items the rum landing in the pond before getting picked up by Sarah and the first aid landing in Popes hands

"So what's the story, you guys sink a boat?" He said as if it was the most reasonable thing in the world

"Jumped off one. Her dads." John b replied nodding over to where Sarah stood beside him with a skeptical look on her face

"In-laws man their tough. Well have no fear Jimmy's here I got you" The group began to laugh

"Well all hail Jimmy guys! Let's go." Cleo cheered as the group began to get on the plane the last two left were JJ and Bonnie as the two looked at each other before following their friends

"So what we're you doing all the way out here?" JJ questioned not fully sitting back in his seat Bonnie sat In between both him and Pope waiting for the man's response

"I got a little guide outfit in Saint Vincent I was spotting fish." Jimmy responded starting up the plain as the engine roared to life

"What we're you spotting?"

"Oh you know the usual Wahoo... I'd hand on to something get a little spicy on takeoff" The brunette didn't miss the look on JJs face as he squinted at the man before before clutching onto one of the handles that hung from the ceiling as the plane began to accelerate up into the air

"Wahoo don't run in September ever. So whoever this man is he's not a fisherman" The girls head snapped to look at the blonde her lips slightly parted

"Maybe the run just starts earlier out here" Pope tried to reason a small look of alert taking over his features

"Are you sure about that? In the Caribbean" JJ shot a look at the boy as Bonnie's knee began to bounce up and down a habit she had when she was trying to think or when she was anxious

"No I know what this is, he's working for my dad and he's probably been looking for us the entire time." Sarah spoke up in her seat next to Cleo all eyes shifting to her

"All right we gotta find out looking for some sort of... clues" The blonde trailed off as he looked at the bag on the back of the pilots chair as he looked at Bonnie and John B

"Hey Jimmy, how long you had this bird?" The boy questioned as JJ stretched an arm across the isle way sticking a hand in his bag

"Probably about ten years"

"How long you been flying?" Bonnie spoke up as the man shook his head with a smile that made her stomach uneasy

"I've been flying all my life"

"Uhh who's the lovely lady right there?" John B through another question back like a grenade ready to blow

"That right there? That's Cynthia" The man laughed loudly overly loud the Bonnie though his headphones probably had something to do with the fact

JJ began sprawling some of the things he got from the man's bag out on his lap as Bonnie picked up the book flipping through pages for anything useful as JJ handed Sarah a picture

"The costal venture oh my god this is the boat we were on with Eberhimi and the cross" Sarah whispered

"So he was looking for us?" Cleo questioned even though it was more than a statement as JJ agreed nodding his head

"He's working for my dad" Sarah declared before the plane began to shake as Bonnie fell into Popes side the boy wrapping his around her without missing a beat

"You guys better hold onto something we got some unexpected turbulence up here" Jimmy called back

"Guys whatever it is it's happening fast look." Kiara pointed out the window and everyone could see an island the plane began to approach

"It's Barbados. It's where I lived there before I moved with my dad to the cut" Bonnie stated as she remembered the memories she had before her dad moved them both to the obx just when she was seven on the peak of turning eight

"Okay there's seven of us, one of him. You know my vote we storm the cockpit." JJ stated the girl honestly questioned it logic majority of the time

"No who's gonna fly the plane dumbass" John B protested

"I've seen Pope fly simulators" The blonde responded and the girl pinched at his arm for putting him on the spot to which he pouted genuinely beginning to rub his arm

"I crop-dusted for my uncle last summer this is not the same thing" The brown skin boy shook his head

"We don't have time to pretend that's a real option" Kiara responded

"Do you have an idea?"

"Something safe."

"Why don't we just wait until the plane lands somewhere safe, and if someone comes to mess with us we handle it." Bonnie interrupted the banter and everyone seemed to agree

"I like the handling part" JJ responded and the girl couldn't help but roll her eyes

"Just put that back" She pointed to the stuff in his lap as John B began to stir up conversation with Jimmy again as the man turned his head catching JJ putting back one of the books he had taken back in his bag

"Hey what the hell are you doing man" He had reached back pushing JJ letting go of shift sticks to control the plane in the process as the plane began to drop

"FLY THE PLANE!"

"Please fly the plane!" Jimmy had finally took control of the stick pulling upwards with abnormal force and soon the plane finally crashed in the water beginning to sink

"We got to get out come on" The group jumped one by one until it was Bonnie and Kiara left Pope had his arms out for the girl and Bonnie reluctantly jumped out the plane into the boys arms as JJ took the girl from his grasp beginning to swim of the direction underneath the pier

"Kie went the other way!" Sarah exclaimed as they watched the girl begin to run of the shore deeper into the island men dressed in khakis and cargos chasing after

"What are we going to do we're going after her right?" John B questioned as he watched his best friend get dragged away

"What can we do?" Pope questioned

"That girl always has to play fucking hero" Bonnie panted JJ still holding her tight in his grasp

"Guys my dad didn't, didn't sell our house we can crash there until we figure something out" The girl continued beginning to shake from the cold clear water and the pogues had settled on that idea quietly swimming to another part of the shore making it to land

<><><><>

[writtenonreceipts]

This is the chapter that kinda started it all, especially the flashback. I’m trying to make things move faster than they want to.  I think I’m just resigned to be that fic writer who never finishes anything.  Sorry you have to deal with me…

Find the Masterlist Here // Ao3 Link

Warnings: These apply to the flashback portion at the end of the chapter: language (nothing major, just more than I typically like using), war, blood, injury, minor character death, if you’re iffy/worried dm me or send an ask and I can summarize details if you’d like.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Where We've Been, Where We're Going--Part Eight  

The next few days continued in an easy rhythm.  

Rowan didn’t know what surprised him more--that he adapted so easily to the various tasks he had on hand or that he and Aelin had entered into a cautious friendship.

Though, to be frank, cautious was putting it lightly.  It was a situation he’d never found himself in before and he wasn’t sure how to proceed.  He made sure he wasn’t in the house when Aelin wasn’t and tried to stay out even when she was home, only returning when he had to or she sent him a message about an extra pizza slice in the fridge for him.  But he didn’t want to intrude.  Or he really just didn’t want to run the risk of letting something slip or proving just how incapable he was at being around other people.  

Keeping busy helped.  

Unfortunately, he didn’t sleep any better which was more of a pain than he’d let anyone know.    During the day he could distract himself with various tasks of making sure fence posts were even or he did a decent job installing windows.  At night, alone and in the silence, was when his mind would wander most.  It was here in the quiet confines of his mind that his memories came out from the shadows.

 For now, it was easy enough to keep to himself.  When he got too restless at night he’d go out and sit in the bed of the truck and stare out at the night sky.  More often than not, it was cloudless and he could watch the stars.  It was much as he did in Kovac only with different constellations.  

The only thing that really bothered him was ignoring the various texts and calls now that he was letting his phone remain charged up.  He’d only done it to keep Aelin appraised of his watching Meiri that one night.  And then, for some reason, he left the damn thing on and charged ever since.  

Aelin only sent him a few messages during the day.  Mostly simple reminders to eat something.  And then a few updates on Emrys as well.  Rowan didn’t tell Aelin he’d given Malakai his number already.  He didn’t want to run the risk of her not messaging as often as she did.

Which he realized made him a miserable ass, but he already knew that.

By the time two full weeks had passed since his arrival, Rowan had become a recognizable figure in Terrasen.  People actually knew his name and would greet him on the street or at the store.  Some would hire him out for odd jobs in their yards, even Sartaq let Rowan swing by to fix up a few other cars on occasion.

He was still helping get the motel up and running of course.  Emrys was still in rehab after some tests came back a little less optimistic than what the doctors preferred.  So, Rowan kept up his usual ritual of odd job help in the morning and hammering away at the motel until well into the night.

The routine was more helpful than he’d ever admit.

It almost made it easier to bear the memories.

Until his phone kept buzzing.  There was only one consistent number that reached out to him and after a while, Rowan wondered if he should just save the new contact.

Which was probably why he was currently distracting himself at Sartaq’s garage.

It was a late Friday afternoon with the usual summer heat and bright sunlight banking through the open doors.  Rowan was staring down into a nearly obliterated radiator and hose tear wondering just how poorly this car had been treated in the past when Sartaq finally broached a topic he’d much rather had avoided.

They’d both served in Kovac, Sartaq for such a short time and Rowan had been busy in sniper training that they’d never met.  Sartaq also hadn’t been in a position that could also lead him to potential harm.  Family strings and all.  Rowan didn’t begrudge the man for that--as far as he could tell, Sartaq would have been in the front lines even now if his family would allow it.  Instead, to keep him from getting himself killed, his wealthy parents let him land in Terrasen fixing up old cars.  Rowan had the feeling his new friend resented his family quite a bit even if he liked the work he was doing.

“Did you ever go to Orynth?” Sartaq asked.  He leaned over another car that had been brought over doing a general assessment on what would just be a break-check and oil change.

Rowan paused to wipe his hands on a grease rag, not really wanting to talk about the war.  But he figured Sartaq would be a decent enough guy to back off if Rowan started showing any signs of disinterest in the topic.

“No, but I heard it was rough,” he said. “One of my mates was reassigned there for a few weeks out of punishment.”

Lorcan never did say why Maeve made him go, just that he’d learned his lesson on the matter.  He did, however, share that they could all consider themselves lucky for not going.  Lorcan had always been that way: never sharing anything, never revealing anything, never opening up with vulnerability.

“Nesryn was stationed there for ages,” Sartaq said.  He often referred to his friend as though Rowan knew her himself.  As it was, she was a constant staple of conversation in the garage.  “Always said it was the worst place to be.”

“Isn’t she the one that would whip out a bow and arrow instead of actually using a gun in training?” Rowan asked.  In all honesty, he was desperate to have some sort of a good connection to his memories of Kovac instead of the blood and violence and misery.  So why not play into this conversation just a little?

Sartaq chuckled. “Yeah, probably.  She was only a translator so she never liked using a gun, but the locals had bows and arrows to use when their resources were so shitty.  So she’d entertain the kids when their parents were dying or after a raid when the Valg gangs would wreak havoc.  She was good like that.”

Rowan remembered her.  He’d never actually met her, only saw brief snippets of her or heard other soldiers talk about how she’d take no shit or stupid orders.  The one real memory he had occured after that damn raid that sent the rest of his military career into hell.  

He’d been kicked out of a debriefing and instead was trying to clean his rifle when this woman waltz through camp with a bow and arrow.  She had a bag full of candy and water on one shoulder and a beautiful handcrafted weapon on the other.  Kids tentatively approached while she put on a small show of all the odd places she could land and arrow from all sorts of strange positions.

It was the first time in a long time he’d seen the kids of the village smile.

“Yeah, Maeve got pissed at her for it too,” Rowan said.  He loosened a bolt on one of the spring clamps that needed to be replaced.  “Said she was being too distracting.  But Nesryn just shot an apple straight from a kid's hand.  Didn’t even look.”

With a fond shake of his head, Sartaq didn’t say anything for a minute. “You were under Maeve’s command?”

And just like that, Rowan felt an icy dread pool in his gut.

“Yeah.”

“I heard about her and that prick Hammel.”

Static started buzzing in Rowan’s ears.  He crossed to where there were some extra bolts and equipment waiting to be used.  Tacky sweat gathered on his skin and he wondered if he could get along with disinterested grunts the rest of the day.

“They were always so elitist, yeah?  Really careful about who they let on their squad.”

Sartaq didn’t notice Rowan’s dilemma in the slightest.  Which was supposedly a good thing.  If he didn’t notice then he wouldn’t ask about it.  

“How’d you manage to be a part of that little cadre?”

“I was a sniper,” Rowan said.  He took his time picking out a new bolt, clamp, and radiator hose that would fit the car’s needs he was working on. “Had the best marks, I guess.”

“Strange she’d let you go after getting her claws in you.”

“Proof we don’t always get what we want,” Rowan said, lightly.  He added a laugh, strained though it was.  

So, Sartaq didn’t know about that last mission.  Not surprising considering how long he’d been out, but still.  Rowan was grateful he didn’t have to talk about it.  He could manage a passing tale about Talbot if he needed.  But that last raid?  The one where he’d screwed up enough to be stripped of his previous honors?  To be dishonorably discharged?  That one he’d take with him to his grave.

…

It was late the next day when Rowan got a call he actually wanted to pick up.

He was back at the motel trying to figure out how to reach one of the window ledges that had not been planned out very well when his phone buzzed.  The only reason he knew who it was was because Aelin stood and watched as he saved the number.

MALAKAI steamed across the screen in bold letters.

For a moment, Rowan worried if it was bad news.  He wasn’t sure he could handle a messy phone call.  But then he managed to convince himself that Malakai certainly wouldn’t try calling him if it were bad news about Emrys.  He’d be too focused on Aelin and his son. So, Rowan picked up the call.

“Malakai,” he greeted.

“Rowan, glad you have caught you,” Malakai said.  The unspoken I didn’t know if you’d actually answer was particularly loud in the brief silence that followed. “I wanted to let you know that Emrys’ numbers improved and he’s being discharged tomorrow.”

It was a strange thing to feel joy.  Especially when it had been so long since the last time you felt it.  So when his heart skipped and all the tension eased from his body, Rowan had no idea how to respond.

“That’s,” he finally managed, “that’s good to hear.”

“I tried calling Aelin, but I know she’s on shift,” Malakai said. “I know it would mean a lot to her if she knew sooner rather than later.  Would you mind going--”

“I can do that,” Rowan cut in.  Hell, there was nothing he’d want to do more. “I’ll head over there now, I was just finishing up one of the windows at the motel.”

There was a beat. “You were doing what now?”

Ah.  He’d forgotten he hadn’t actually told Malakai what he’d been doing the last two weeks.  Everyone just assumed he had and Rowan went along with it.

“I gotta go.”  Rowan hung up.  He didn’t really like talking to people anyways.

He made quick work of packing up and ensuring the motel was locked.  The ladder went around the far corner of the motel near the alleyway.  Despite some rambunctious teens and the usual problematic people in a small town, nothing was really in danger of getting stolen.  Plus, Rowan would see to it personally if anything was taken from Malakai and Emrys.

He closed up his tool box and settled it in the bed of his truck before driving the short few blocks to the diner.

The parking lot was nearly empty aside from Nox’s car around back.  Aelin usually walked to work whenever she could.  Only a dark truck was in the lot and Rowan recognized that as Mr. Aguayo’s.  He always swung by to purchase an order of steak and gravy for his pregnant wife.

Rowan parked near the back of the lot, not minding an extra walk.  It was still warm even as the summer days slowly drifted closer to fall.  From what he’d heard, it wasn’t until October that the weather drifted below seventy degrees.  And then usually the first snow came in November.  It’d been ages since Rowan had experienced snow and he wondered what it would be like…

Though, he’d be leaving soon enough so it didn’t really matter.

Mr. Aguayo was leaving just as Rowan walked up to the door.  They exchanged a quick greeting--Rowan really didn’t know the man very well aside from his small landscaping business.  And Mrs. Aguayo loved her steak cooked at a medium rare.  And she often craved Funyuns too.

Once inside the diner, Rowan almost felt like home.  The 50’s aesthetic was just as garish as the first day he’d been in there.  The red booths and checked floor looked a bit tired, but clean.  

“Welcome in! Oh, Rowan.” Aelin rounded the corner from the back of the restaurant, dressed in her usual shorts, t-shirt, and an apron that had seen better days.  Her blonde hair was in a long braid over one shoulder, frayed edges poking out after a day of running between tables. “You here to eat?”

“Have you checked your phone recently?” he asked instead, though he knew that if she’d seen any messages from Malakai she would have already heard the news and would have been telling him all about it.

She frowned, scrambling for the pockets of her apron. “What happened?  Is it Marion?”

“Wh-No, no,” Rowan said.  He wondered briefly why her mind went straight to Marion, but he hurried to cross the space between them to reassure her.  He rested a hand on her arm before he thought better of it. “It’s good news, I promise.”

She stared at him with wide, blue eyes.  There was apprehension there, but trust too.  It had been so long since anyone had looked at him like that, trusting and open, that Rowan found himself speechless.

“Emrys is being released from the hospital tomorrow.”  He didn’t want her hanging on anymore of his words waiting for bad news. “Malakai just called me.”

Aelin released a shaky breath before she laughed.  And then, in a turn of events that Rowan had not expected, she threw her arms around him in a hug.

The first thing Rowan noticed was the fact that Aelin smelled like jasmine and honey.  The second was her soft curves and vice like grip.  And then he thought about how long it had been since someone had hugged him.

No one on his squad cared for anything other than the roughhousing or smacks upside the head.  He hadn’t seen either of his cousins since before he enlisted and even then, the Whitethorn’s weren’t touchy-feely.  And that was it.  That was everyone he knew that he would even consider hugging.  And here was Aelin who had been through hell and back hugging him as though they were friends as though she actually liked him.

And he had no idea what to do.

Oh he knew the mechanics of a hug and how not to be a complete robot in his emotions.  Somewhat.  But this was Aelin.  Who in just a few short weeks had come to actually mean something to him even if he didn’t know how to define it.  And he was Rowan who had only ever been a complete and utter screw-up.  In everything.

“Sorry,” Aelin said, pulling back while Rowan just stood there. Her cheeks were flushed with a mix of embarrassment and residual excitement. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.  I wasn’t thinking.”

Rowan cleared his throat, nose still tingling with the scent of her. “It’s fine.  It’s good news.”

“Yeah, it is,” she agreed.  She was still smiling but it was jaded now after he’d gone and made things awkward by not hugging her back. She brushed an errant hair from her eyes and didn’t meet his eyes. “Really good news.  I know they’re both ready for him to be home.  And Luca will be so excited too.  He’s been a mess since it happened.”

“It’ll be good for him to come home,” Rowan said.  This was the type of news everyone deserved to receive.  The type of news Rowan wished he could have given more than he did.

“Emrys always had that way about him of just making a place home, you know?  And giving me so much patience when I didn’t deserve it.”  Aelin exhaled slowly before looking at him. “Thank-you for coming to tell me.”

“I was glad to,” he said.  Really, it was the best change of pace from having to acknowledge another death.  And if it meant seeing her smile like that and have a bit of joy in her life?  Rowan would do anything for her to keep smiling, he decided.

“I’ve been a mess all week with his new tests going through,” Aelin said as she finished pulling her phone out of her apron pocket. “And Meiri is not enjoying daycare this summer, plus Marion--”

She waved a hand in dismissal and pulled up Malakai’s number on her screen.  Rowan should have left then, a part of him was screaming too.  She still had an hour on her shift, he’d told her what he wanted to, and there was still daylight left to try and finish another window at the motel.  And if not that, Murtaugh at the hardware store donated paint to help give the motel a new look.  Rowan could start in on that.  And yet, he stayed.

“Malakai,” Aelin said when the other line picked up. “Yeah, no, Rowan just told me.  He’s coming home tomorrow?...Good, that’s so good to hear…I’ll make sure Chaol brings Luca home…You too.”

She hung up, a small smile still on her lips.

“We’re going to have a welcome home party,” she announced.  She nodded firmly to assert her words more fully. “With chocolate cake.”

There was nothing that sounded more like Aelin than chocolate cake and parties.  Rowan could easily imagine that Aelin would put an overwhelming amount of detail and care into such a venture.  For the first time in knowing her, she actually looked happy and at peace.  Which, from what Rowan had gathered about her, was a miracle in itself.

“You’re going to come, right?” Aelin asked.

Rowan hesitated.  As of late, he’d never been one for social gatherings.  Especially not with so many people he didn’t know.  Sure the last few weeks he’d gotten to know many of the people in town.  But it wasn’t the same.  Not when the second the motel was finished he’d be gone and in California.

Crowds especially had been difficult and he’d avoided them ever since coming back home.  Most of the time he knew what his triggers were and how to avoid them.  Being in a crowded room could easily overwhelm him.

“I--” Rowan was blissfully cut off when the door of the diner opened and Chaol walked in.

The sheriff was only partially dressed in his uniform--the tan pants that most law officers wore looked a little worse for wear as they were stained with dirt, grass, and dark splotches that were almost certainly blood.  Instead of the usual brown button-up, he wore a plain white t-shirt that was a mess of dirt and dried blood.

“What happened to you?” Aelin asked when she took Chaol in.  

“Bad day,” Chaol said.  He scowled and ran a hand through his short hair.  “Told Luca I’d pick up food.”

It looked decidedly worse than a bad day but Rowan had a feeling Aelin was already gearing up to chew Chaol out.

“You have blood on your shirt,” she said, resting her hands on her hips.  She fixed Chaol with a glare that rivaled even the worst that Rowan had received.

Chaol returned the deadpanned stare. “It’s fine.”

Rolling her eyes, Aelin turned to head back to the kitchen. “There’s a few extra sandwiches in the back, give me a minute and I’ll do up some fries.”

“Thank’s Aelin,” Chaol called after her.  She waved a hand overhead to acknowledge she’d heard.

It was only when she was gone that Chaol sighed and ran a hand over his face.  He eyed Rowan for a moment before speaking up.

“It was an accident involving a kid,” Chaol admitted lightly. “Ten-years old.  Nothing anyone could have done.  And you know she wouldn’t take that easily.”

It was the simplest explanation he could have given, but Rowan could already paint an exact picture of what had happened.  Especially with how run down Chaol appeared now.  Rowan wondered why Chaol would take it on himself to use a filter around Aelin, especially considering her no nonsense attitude and strong will to simply survive.  Though, he’d try not to judge the sheriff too harshly for his choice.

He’d lived through his fair share of accidents. Accidents where no matter what anyone did it just wasn’t enough.

Rowan knew exactly what that was like.

“I’m sorry,” he said honestly.  

He thought, briefly, about spoiling the news of Emrys’ hospital release, but decided that would best be left for Aelin to reveal.  Besides, he needed to leave.  He didn’t know where he needed to be just anywhere but here.

Instead, Rowan offered a single nod and headed back out of the diner.  “Have a good night.”

Chaol frowned in confusion, gesturing to the kitchen doorway where Aelin had gone. “Do you want--”

But Rowan was already gone, lost to the heat of the night and the memories of his past.

…

There was a man dying next to him.

Rowan didn’t know him.  Rowan didn’t want to know him.

All he knew was that just moments before this man had been trying to kill him.  And he knew that now, amid the darkening shadows of the night, he was trying to say one final round of prayers.  And he knew that the blood seeping into the dusty ground was innocent.  Innocent.  Innocent because what right did Rowan have to kill this man?  Because of a raid that might not amount to anything?  Because of a war that had been drawn on so long that violence had become the only answer for any question asked.

The man’s final breath rattled wetly.

Forcing the man from his mind, Rowan pulled his knife from the man's gut and returned to his rifle.  He had to wipe the blood from his fingers first, but that couldn’t be avoided.  He slowly wrapped his fingers around the grips and rested his finger on the trigger.  When a soft breeze blew, the wet blood caused a chill to snatch across his skin.

Through his sights he could see the streets of the village they were about to raid.  Maeve was insistent the Valg gang that had been terrorizing this side of the city would be moving weapons tonight.  Rowan didn’t know where exactly the intel had come from, only that it was from a reliable source.  He supposed the dead man beside him was evidence enough.

Hammel had barely developed a plan besides watching the trucks that rolled in and out of the city.  Even though it had been one week since his arrival, the new co-captain hardly seemed interested in doing his job.

“White Hawk?” Gavriel’s voice came over on the coms. “I saw signs of a struggle.  You good?”

Rowan clicked his com in acknowledgement.

“Where’s Talbot?” Gavriel demanded. “Shouldn’t he have your back?”

“Taking care of a few spooks, sir,” came Talbot’s quiet reply, “circling back now.”

Rowan hadn’t been concerned over the kid making sure they wouldn’t have any more surprises.  While Talbot was a little younger than him, he was eager and a hard worker.  Smart too.  He would trust him with his life and not just because he had to.

“All clear at the North and East entrances,” Rowan murmured in his coms.

At his words he watched as Hernandez led a group of her soldiers through the street to the building in question.  Rowan had seen at least three targets circle back to the building over the course of the night, each either carrying something or pushing a cart.  The thing was, this area was family dense.  Someone could simply be transporting food or extra blankets or wanting to move in the dark without being seen.  

Then why had the man beside him tried to attack him?

Rowan watched and listened as Hammel ordered the entrance.  Half of the squad took the front and Gavriel led the others through the back.  It would play out like it always did: orders to stand down, not to move, don’t resist, watch the west side.

It was how it should have gone.

“Front’s still clear,” Rowan said into his coms, “Redline, what’s your status?”

Talbot remained silent.

“Redline?” Rowan repeated.  He switched to the mainline for the rest of the squad just in case the network was fritzing. “Talbot, check in.”

There was a flicker to the north side of the building the squad was raiding.  Rowan turned his scope in that direction and adjusted his sights.

“Lionheart we’ve got a bogie to the north, Redline is unresponsive.”

“Roger that,” Gavriel responded. “Keep your eyes open, White Hawk.”

Rowan tried to ignore the feeling in his gut that grew with every passing second.  Something was wrong.  He didn’t know what it was, but it was damn near palpable.  Talbot never went radio silent.  Not like this.  Hell, he had to remind the kid to stop talking when they were on stakeouts.  But Talbot was still responsible.  He knew his duties and he did them well.  

For one, brief moment, Rowan considered leaving his post and looking for the kid.  But with Maeve and Hammel watching, he knew he couldn’t.  All he could do was hope the kid showed up. Maybe his radio disconnected and he just hadn’t noticed.  Or he didn’t charge it properly before the mission.  It had happened once before.  Or--

“White Hawk?” Talbot’s quiet voice crackled through Rowan’s radio.

Thank the fates. “Where the hell have you been, kid?  I’ve been--”

“Found something,” Talbot cut in.  His voice was still distorted with a bad connection, static fizzing and popping horribly. “Had to make sure,” a loud pop of static, “something’s wrong, can’t reach Lionheart.”

“Repeat that, Redline, you’re breaking up,” Rowan said.  He kept his sights trained on where he’d seen the flicker of movement, knowing Gavriel was keeping tabs on the other side of the homestead they were raiding.  As far as Rowan could tell there was just a flickering curtain he’d already cleared.  And a flash of silver but given this part of the village that shouldn’t be a concern.  He’d noticed something similar, but it flicked so irregularly that he decided it was nothing important.  Morse code wasn’t universal, but Rowan knew most codes various countries used and there was no discernible pattern that he could note.

“Rowan,” Talbot’s voice finally rang clear and strong. 

“Talbot--Danny,” Rowan sighed, relieved. “What happened?”

“Think I was spotted,” Talbot said, “I came back around to see where the bogie came from.  Saw something weird.  Rowan, we gotta pull out.”

“Hold on kid.”  Rowan did a sweep of the surrounding area but didn’t see anything.  “Where are you?”

“North.  There’s a few Kovac soldiers dragging boxes around,” Talbot said as the static returned. “Rowan…I think they’re smugglers not--”

Talbot was cut off by something crashing on his end followed by a shout in another language.

“Talbot?” Rowan shifted, drawing one hand to his commlink and pressing it into his ear, as if that would help with the connection. When no response came Rowan switched frequencies. “Lionheart, we’ve got a situation.  I think Redline found trouble.”

There was a pause and a round of muffled voices before Gavriel responded.

“Copy,” Gavriel finally replied. “We’ve got it under control here, I’ll send Fenrys--”

“There’s no time,” Rowan said, nerves spiking despite how hard he was working to control himself.

Rowan was up and moving before the captain finished speaking.  He made sure to stay low and keep his position as uncompromised as possible.  The hot air whipped around him digging sand between his skin and the straps of his goggles.  Sweat trickled down his back as he moved.  Even at night the heat was unbearable.  

The discomfort all but faded from Rowan’s mind as he ran down the dusty trail than wound down from his snipers nest.  Underbrush crunched beneath his feet and sand picked up in thick plumes.  Rowan hardly noticed.  In a matter of minutes he was down from the bluffs and in the near empty streets.  He hardly noticed the weight of his rifle in his hands as he ducked behind the wall of a small home.  There was nothing to indicate any potential danger.  

He slipped around the corner keeping his gun ready and eyes open.  Nothing.  Nothing but the wind picking up and the sound of scattering debris.

“Whitethorn, what are you doing?” Gavriel demanded through the comms.

Rowan ignored him as he sprinted down the road to the building he last saw Talbot clear.  He was closing in by the yards, slipping behind doorways or abandoned carts when he thought he saw something.  He didn’t dare try and contact Talbot in case his radio crackled, giving him away.

On cat's feet, Rowan darted the last stretch of road to where he’d last clocked Talbot.  Nothing seemed out of the ordinary--no extra footsteps, no strange sights.  All there was, was the faint, sweet scent of almonds.  But then it dissipated.  

Rowan was about to risk radioing Talbot just to see if he saw anything, or if he’d changed location when the first shot rang out.

The singular pop echoed through the otherwise silent night.

And Rowan felt his heart seize.

Time passed too slow as he dropped all pretense of stealth.  Another gunshot rang out as Rowan pushed himself harder through the streets.  He threw open the door of the house Talbot was checking.  Through his radio he heard Hammel and Gavriel both yelling at him.  The first to stand down the second to report.

Rowan focused only on his steps, his breathing, the tight turn around a corner and the body he found slumped against the wall.

Blood smeared in an aftershadow against the dark wood and already began trickling down in a slow, slow pull.

“Man down,” Rowan said into his radio, “medic needed.”

His voice was strangely calm as he said the words.  

His body too as he dropped down beside Talbot.  Already there was a pool of blood forming beneath the other man.  How, with all the layers Talbot was wearing, was that possible?  Rowan wouldn’t let himself think of the implications.

“Talbot,” he said, pressing his hands over the first entry wound he saw, hot blood wrapped around his fingers. “Talbot, look at me!”

With a groan and a cough, Talbot’s eyes fluttered open. “What’re y’doing, Whitethorn?”

“Applying pressure, you idiot,” Rowan said. “You’re gonna be fine, alrigh’?”

Talbot tried to laugh and Rowan pretended it wasn’t blood pooling at the corners of his mouth.

“Two gunshot wounds, gut ‘nd chest.  I’m not…I’m not--”

“Shut up,” Rowan growled, “I said you’re gonna be fine.”

His radio was going off with demands for answers, the eta of a medic, the call for a pull back.  Rowan ignored it all.  He should have been able to respond to some of the calls, should have multi-tasked, but all he could do was apply pressure to the wounds hemorrhaging blood and the way Talbot’s face quickly became ashen.

“Just talk to me, alright, kid?” he said. “What happened? We had the clear.”

Talbot’s head lolled to the side, eyes bleary as he tried to focus. “I saw him.”

“Who?  Who’d you see?”  Where was the medic?

“Thought my mind was playing tricks on me, he shouldn’t be here,” Talbot continued.  He weakly raised a hand to latch on to Rowan’s wrist. “Rowan--”

He had no idea what Talbot was going on about.  The slur of his words, the confusion--none of it was good.  Rowan pressed harder on the wounds, blood hot even as the beat of Talbot’s heart stuttered.

“We’re gonna get you fixed up,” Rowan said, “then you're gonna go home and see your mom, alright?  I’ll come visit, you can show me all there is to see.  Like that county fair, yeah?”

“It ain’t shit,” Talbot laughed, falling into a wet cough. Rowan held him down. “You should go to the mountains.  The mountains--”

Rowan’s radio crackled.  Medic on route.  They should have already been here.

“You gotta do something for me Rowan,” Talbot said, his voice growing too weak. “You gotta tell my family--”

“Tell them yourself.”

“Tell them, I’m so-sorry.”

Rowan stared down at his friend.  Slowly, the rest of the world came back.  The too hot air and metallic tang of blood.  The shouts in the distance.  The decrepit creak of wood where they sat.  There was noise and chaos in a world that just kept moving and Rowan…and Rowan…

“It’s gonna be fine,” Talbot whispered.

And then he was gone.

And Rowan had blood on his hands.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

tags still aren't working for me so if you'd reblog for more people to see this update, I'd really appreciate it. as always, i'm so grateful for ya'll <3

[spnexploration]

Pack chapter 8

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Sam Winchester x Omega!Madison

Series summary: Omega!Reader is thrown into a world she's not expecting when her mate turns out to be a hunter, and she's not used to Alpha & Omega Pack dynamics.

Chapter summary: Sam takes Dean to hospital

Chapter warnings: none

Word count: 1.4k

Series Masterlist | Supernatural writing masterlist

A/N: I'm currently on holiday so I queued this episode up before I left. As such, the masterlist and links to other chapters won't be updated yet, sorry! Fixed now!

Part 7 <- -> Part 9

“Dean’s been shot,” Sam said.

I gasp-squealed, sitting up. “He’s ok, it’s clean through his shoulder,” Sam continued.

“I’m fine, sweetheart,” Dean said weakly in the background. Madi came to sit with me, putting her arm around my shoulders.

“I’m driving him to the hospital. Then I will come and get you two and we’ll head back to the hospital. Mads, I might need your help hunting later.”

“Understood.” They talked a bit about what to pack, but I tuned out. Dean was shot! Dean was SHOT!!

Sam hung up and Madi turned my face to her. “It’s going to be ok. I know it’s scary, but a clean shot through the shoulder is a good wound, if you’re going to have a gunshot wound. The hospital will be able to patch him up. He will be ok. I need you to trust me on this, he will be ok.”

I nodded, barely focusing on her. I felt dizzy, lost, sick to my stomach. A million thoughts seemed to start in my head and then not finish.

“Hey, hey,” she said, shaking my arm slightly. “You need to be strong right now, ok?” I tried to focus on her. “Good, good. Ok, you’re going to pack some clothes for you and Dean in a bag, phone chargers etc. Can you do that?” I took a deep breath and nodded.

Madi checked on me a few times, but I managed to do the task. I couldn’t keep track of time since Sam had rung, but he finally arrived to take us to the hospital. He gathered me in a bear hug and tears sprang to my eyes. “It’s ok, Omega, he’s going to be ok,” he murmured.

I nodded and climbed into the car, feeling like I was in a cloud. It was like there was fog between my thoughts and the real world, and things I experienced couldn’t really penetrate the haze.

Sam drove. Madi held my hand.

Finally, we got to the hospital. I started shaking and Sam put his arm around my shoulders, leading Madison and I inside. We had to wait as Dean was in surgery. The staff directed us to horrible plastic chairs. I bounced my leg, I paced, I fidgeted. Sam and Madi kept offering me food and water, but I ignored them. I couldn’t stomach the thought of anything.

Finally, finally, they said he was out of surgery and we could go to his room. I practically leapt out of my seat and almost collided with the nurse in my haste to get to him, except that Sam grabbed my wrist and stopped me. “Easy, Omega,” he murmured.

We got to Dean's room. He was unconscious in a bed, one shoulder bandaged and that arm with a drip in it. Seeing him was like a dagger to my heart. I faltered, nearly falling down in the doorway. Sam caught me, one hand on my arm and the other around my back. “Ok, ok, just take some deep breaths.” Sam led me to the chair by Dean’s bedside.

“He- he- he smells dead.”

“No, he smells very sick,” Sam said as he crouched down in front of me, “and the anaesthetic will be affecting his scent too. Believe me, this is not what dead smells like. He is sick and he is in the right place.” He brushed my hair behind my ear. I nodded, tears still in my eyes. Madi came and crouched down next to me too, taking my hand in hers.

Sam kept me in the chair for a minute or two until I had calmed down, then asked, “Do you want to see him up close?” I bit my lip and nodded. Sam took my hand and helped me up, then led me to his bedside.

I stood there, staring down at my unconscious mate, unsure what to do. Tears streamed down my face. “You can touch him, if you’d like,” Madi said quietly. We were on the side of his good arm, so I reached out and gingerly touched his arm. Its warmth made me feel better, instantly. “It’s ok, you won’t hurt him. You can hold his hand.” I laced my fingers through his and felt relief wash over me.

Sam and Madi stepped away, leaving me to look at Dean for another minute or so. I felt calmer, reassured he was alive, despite his sickly scent.

I looked over at where they were whispering to each other near the door, “What is it?”

Sam crossed back to me, putting his hand on my shoulder as I looked up at him. “I need to go get this monster. And if it’s ok with you, I’d like to take Madi with me, so I have some backup.”

“O-ok.”

“Are you going to be ok here by yourself?”

“Umm, yes. I’ll be fine,” I said, willing myself to believe it.

Sam rubbed his wrist against my neck. “We’ll be back, I promise.”

They left. I sat by Dean’s side and held his hand.

---

Time passed. Dean did not wake up.

I tried not to think about the fact he was not waking up. I tried to reassure myself that he just needed sleep. I tried to tell myself that the machines that go beep would surely go beep if there was a problem, and the doctors and nurses would resolve the problem.

But Dean did not wake up.

And I worried.

---

Sometimes, for a change of pace, I worried about Sam and Madison fighting the monster. I’d sent Madi a few text messages and she replied each time that they were ok, not to worry. But Dean had seemed so unshakable, so unbreakable. If Dean could get shot, so could they.

And they might not be as lucky.

---

A kindly-looking older nurse came in to take Dean’s vitals. “Are you his sister, dear?” she asked me. She seemed to finally notice that we were literally nothing alike and added, “Sister-in-law, perhaps?”

“Umm, no,” I mumbled. “He’s my Alpha.”

“Oh, heavens, I’m sorry, dear. You’re not marked and I heard his brother had brought him in, I thought you must’ve been another sibling or something. And you don’t have the tag.”

“Tag?”

“Are you intending to stay the night, dear?”

“I don’t want to leave him.”

“Well, you’ll have to have the tag.”

“What tag?”

“The Omega tag, of course! I’ll get you one.” I had no idea what this woman was talking about. What the hell was an Omega tag?

She finished checking Dean’s vitals and headed out of the room. A little while later, she reappeared with a hospital wrist tag in her hand. She held it out to me, saying “Just check that all the details are correct dear.”

It said:

OMEGA OF Dean Winchester UR7916442

“Omega of?” I asked in a strangled voice, shocked at what I was looking at.

“Yes, dear, it’s so that we know whose Omega you are. Just like he has his own tag. You need a tag on to be allowed to stay the night with him.”

I nodded mutely and she attached it to my wrist. I idly wondered if they would have made him wear a tag saying ‘Alpha of’ if I’d been the one injured. Probably not.

---

Dean still did not wake up.

Madison and Sam were still out there.

I was still alone, in here.

---

Another nurse came in later with some sheets and a blanket for the daybed in the window. She told me I was welcome to sleep there and that, as hospital beds go, they weren’t too bad.

But Dean had not woken up. I could not sleep.

I paced, I held his hand, I brushed my fingers through his hair. I talked to him. I sat quietly with him. I walked my fingers up and down his good arm.

The machines had not gone beep.

Still, Dean did not wake up.

.

.

.

Taglist:

@mrsjenniferwinchester

@lyarr24

@waynes-multiverse

@leigh70

@malindacath

@ellie-andthemachine

@iprobablyshipit91

@123passwort

@muhahaha303

@globetrotter28

[rockcollector3000]

Tea Time With Gaz

In the slay way

Based on a headcanon of mine that this man LOVES listening to you talk shit.

Word count - 415

Warnings - swearing (?)

Becoming best friends with Sergeant Garrick wasn’t part of your agenda when you were recruited into Task Force 141.

You hadn’t realized how similar you were until people started comparing you to one another.

Then, you two started to be around each other more. So, it was just a formality to be friendly, right?

That’s what led you both up to this point. You were sitting in Gaz’s office, sliding a cup of tea over to him while you held your own in your hand.

“Gaz, you won’t believe what I heard while scouting today.” You said before taking a sip of your hot drink.

Gaz leaned forward slightly, listening closer to you. “Go on.” He said.

“Ok, so,” you started with a slight grin, “while I was doing professional eavesdropping in that cafe downtown, I heard some lady talking about her husband.”

“That’s always a fun topic.” Gaz smirked before taking a sip of his tea.

“This lady’s husband is a total prick,” you said. “Well, according to her, he is.”

You took another sip before continuing.

“This guy won’t sign divorce papers because he wants to claim the kids on his taxes!” You said, raising your eyebrows.

“What an asshole.” Gaz said, rolling his eyes. “What’s she doing about it?”

“She tried taking his ass to court, as she fucking should.” You said, talking with your hands still.

“But, because of the state she lives in, she can’t get a divorce without his consent!”

“No bloody way.” He gasped.

“I know!” You said, sounding a bit exasperated. “But she has a plan, Gaz. It’s downright dastardly. But I’m totally here for it.”

“You know, though, I do support women’s wrongs, just like I support women’s rights.” you clarified.

Gaz nodded thoughtfully.

“Awright, spill. What’s her plan?” He asked before taking another sip.

“She’s going to get screenshots of his infidelity.” You said. “But you won’t guess who he cheated on her with.”

Gaz leaned forward again, intrigued.

“Who?” He asked, clearly dying to know.

“Her fucking sister.” You said, setting your cup down.

Gaz gasped lightly, setting his cup down, too.

“You’re joking.” He said, tilting his head slightly.

“I’m not.” You said, smiling. “And honestly, Gaz, I support her fully.”

Gaz nodded again, agreeing with your agreement. “No, yeah, she's totally in the right,” he said.

“I know!” you said, picking your cup up again. “I’ve never been more invested in my life. I just hope she’s there next time I go to that cafe.”

Gaz nodded again. “You better keep me updated.” He said.

“Bitch, you know I will.” You replied, rolling your eyes playfully.

[keelt9]

Cap. 2

Part 2

Masterlist

That was the third time, his mind traveled to that moment, the reaction was the same, a soft smile on his face followed by shaking his head.

“Enzo, this is a good one, great job!” He heard about the headphones, that day he was in the studio recording the monolog, a part of it. 

He comes out to check the recording, he knows Mar, of course he does, but he doesn’t relate the connection, not until that day.

“Sorry, I'll go out for a second and come back in a moment.” She excuses herself leaving them hearing the final parts, a few minutes later she opens the door one more time.

“Just sit there and do whatever you are doing, for Christ sake!” Mar wasn’t mad; it's obvious from the giggle that follows that sentence. “Sorry, what do you think?”

“I can wait in the car!” Mar keeps __ pulling by her arm to get inside of the room. “It’s not like I’m doing this for the first time.” Mar comes out for her insisting that she will be more relaxed knowing she is at least inside of the building. 

__ bring her tablet with her, being two weeks disconnected from all her life already accumulated a good amount of mails and with Christmas in 5 days this just increased, she decided that minutes waiting for Mar will be enough for at least answering a couple of them.

After literally close the door in front of her eyes she just give up and sit in one of the couches and continue in her reading, when a mail come in, her mother and a document, Lucia keeps sending files to her childs for a feedback or a opinion with topic weddings but __ continue doing the same thing, let it the other emails hide them.

<At least try to read it> A message from Esteban popped in her cellphone.

<How do you know I didn’t read it?> The response she got was two emojis one for each sibling, rolling their eyes. 

Fine, is the only thought came to her mind while open a file with a bunch of pictures about flowers and wedding bouquets, the only answer she was able to write was, <So pretty, mom>, follow by keep working in what Enrique send it her before leaving Mexico; he started to work in the cultivation in a new zone of the ranch where the access to the water it will be continue but the grapes will be more expose to the impact of the cold and warm airflow; her task is design how they will set the storage by the time the harvesting begin leaving enough space for their “little” experiment.

“Ready!” Mar said opening the door, __ lost the track of time, what for her were just minutes turned into an hour, as she raised her sight she caught the glimpse of a familiar face turning around so quickly.

“__?” Mar waves her hand in front of her face, turning her attention. 

“Sorry, what do you say?” Mar smiles and points with her head to the exit. “I told you that everything seems fine in the loveland.”

Caro keeps texting to them about the updates of her date and everything seems to be really great, a nice restaurant, nice dinner and excellent company, she resumes in her last text.

“Hey Mar!” Mar closes her eyes and say <Please no, please don’t, just a few meters of the exit> and turns around with a smile on her face. “Matias, what are you doing here?” 

“I’m waiting for…” He just averted his eyes to the left side of Mar when his eyes recognized the girl. “Oh, we met again.” __ didn’t raise her sight of her shoes her mind working in the storage and the relocation of the barrels, until she heard, <meet again>

“Do you know each other?” Mar asks, seeing the frown expression in __. 

“No, just see one time.” __ answers. 

“Ok, amm, what you’re saying?” Mar changed the subject thinking he could see her the last time she brought __ to the storage. 

“Yeah, have you seen Enzo? I’m waiting for him to go to dinner but I couldn’t find him.” He keeps sending glances to __.

“No, he left the studio before me so…__ did you see him? He is tall, slim, really slim these days, he’s wearing a black pants, black hoodie.” Mar tries to describe him but in __ eyes seems like she already had the idea of what he looks like.

“Sorry, I was so distracted by some files until you called me.” __ shrugged her shoulders.

“I didn’t know you had two sisters.” Matias crossed his arms really curious about the girl with a hard way of looking; he isn’t dumb at all, already notice after the little encounter with these girl, Enzo has a little, almost unnoticed smile from time to time, he isn’t a credit that to that girl but it’s a curious thing.

“Because I don’t. She is __ Ovalle, best friend of my sister.” This time __ actually smiled and extended her hand for Matias to shake it. 

“Matias Recalt, nice to meet you __.” 

At that moment Mar sees Enzo walking out to the building, she points to him. “There he is.” Matias turns around and shouts his name.

“Well, you found him, it’s our cue to go.” Mar claps her hands. “Good night Matias.” She smiles __ and tingles her arm with __ turning around and keeps walking.

“Good night, nice to meet you __.” He smiles at her and she just waves her hand before walking to the car.

“Where were you?” Matias asked when Enzo reached him. “I’ven looking for you.” 

“I was talking with…people.” Enzo is trying really hard to look like always, unbothered. 

“Talking with people?” Matias has two options: push further to his evident nervousness or let it pass…for now. 

“Yes, people.” Enzo takes a deep breath to look into his eyes, but at the moment he does it, he turns his gaze at the first blink.

It took 3 seconds to Enzo recognized the girl who was sitting with her legs crossed, frown expression, and head bend to the left, like the girl who ran away after giving his ring; his intention was let it pass, so he keeps walking but the curiosity to at least know his name and if she works there increase in each step he walks far away, and started to getting slower.

<It’s just a question.> His subconscious justifies the stop he did at the middle of the corridor, he bites his lip and turns around.

He panicked when he heard the voice of Mar follow by the strange girl raising her eyes, he quickly turned around one more time walking faster to the end of the corridor and enter to one of the rooms where props are keep; as soon as he slowly close the door and hit his forehead to the cool wood he get it, why she runs like that. 

He waited for a couple of minutes to come out and got down where Matias must be looking for him, they agreed to go to dinner, and the missed calls confirm he is looking for him. What he didn’t expect was to find the girl and Mar talking with him. Thank God, when he was spotted by Mar, they apparently said goodbye and walked away. 

“Her name is __.” Matias says out of the blue in the middle of the dinner, taking out of balance to Enzo. 

“Who?” Enzo took a bite of his food, in his defense his mind was analyzing the next-to-last day of shooting. 

“Oh, the girl who ran away the other night. It’s really… how can I describe her?” Matias tried to analyze the “not mind” attitude but the soft expressions she can have when she seems interested or curious about something. 

“Odd? Atypical?, something like that.” He didn’t get the response of Enzo so let it pass, and change the topic, maybe after all he is already making stories in his mind.

[inafieldofdaisies]

can i get ❛  really? that's all you have to say for yourself?  ❜ for mercedes and jacob please! (--direwombat)

Mercedes headed down the by then familiar hallway leading towards Jacob's office while pretending she wasn't eavesdropping on his men's tense discussions about the Militia taking over an important outpost that same morning. She suspected she was probably about to find their boss in quite the sour mood because of it. As she grabbed the handle and swung the door open, she mentally prepared herself for just that predicament. "I said nobody's to bother me.", Jacob grumbled out without even looking in her direction. "No exceptions? Not even for me?", Mercedes asked in a sultry tone. Blue eyes darted up to her face, just enough to register her smile before returning to a folded piece of paper he was holding. What do you have there? "I'm busy.", was all he offered. She sauntered over to his desk, ignoring his lame excuse, knowing she had a task on her own, that she needed to keep track of what he was planning. "Now, I'm hurt, Jacob. You can't spare me even a moment?", she muttered as she rounded the desk, hands grasping his shoulders and her gaze settled on the piece of paper as she began to work on his tense muscles. It took seconds for her to realize what he was so preoccupied with that he wanted to send her away, and the moment she did, her fingers froze against his shirt. A dark chuckle escaped him, "Look what I found while I was browsing through my bookcase." His poster. The very first one she had defaced was staring back at them. "Hmm, I would advise sticking to the old posters, Mr. Seed." Mercedes retorted before biting her lip to stifle back a laugh of her own.

"You see, sweetheart, this makes me want to search my whole office now. Find out in what shape the others are." "Others?", she inquired, feigning confusion before she let out a yelp when his hands grabbed her and she found herself sitting in Jacob's lap. Hands encircled her, actively trapping her in the position between him and the desk while his lips lowered to her ear, and she smoothed out the poster he had discarded on the surface. "Where did you hide them?", he whispered, mouth descending on her skin and leaving quick kisses in its wake. "I have no idea what you mean. Don't you have a situation to deal with, Isaac sure seemed more on edge than usual." "Are you gonna apologize to me, Mercedes, or keep denying when the evidence is right in front of you?" "You mean the poster you tried to update?", she took another jab at him, paired with a rotation of her hips, "I'm not taking the fall for your lack of artistic skills, Jacob." "Really? That's all you have to say for yourself?" "Mhmm. Might be better to stick to your war plans and leave the promotions to John.", she hummed as she leaned her head back, grinding against his body and feeling him harden beneath her. Fingers clutched her waist, "How are you going to make it up to me, sweetheart?" "Ah, so this was your plan all along… blame me for something so I can owe you? Not your best move, Jacob." "We both know what happened." "And who are you advertising to, by the way? What are the chances of an oblivious soul walking in here just to be reeled in by your poster?" "Is this why you ripped it off?", he matched her movements, voice sounding more hoarse by the minute. "No. I had nothing to do with this.", her hands wrapped around the edge of the desk for leverage as she continued her teasing. "I'm going to get you to admit it one way or another, I promise you." A smile played across her lips, "Do your worst."

[stupendouspeanutstarlight]

In The Dark - Pt. 1

Hi everyone! back to writing for Daryl and excited. I hope you like this first part and let me know on any feedback. Elaine is my OC, but I don't like creating a set look for my character besides cosmetic stuff like scars if they are relevant. Hope you all enjoy it and if you're waiting for an update on my OC Savanna Pt. 10 is in progress!

______________________________________________________________

Elaine didn’t understand how she ended up where she is, a Georgian woman to her core, stuck in a shack in Washington DC. Four long years, four years without finding her family. Elaine didn’t know if she could continue, she hadn’t seen anyone for at least a year and was beginning to question if she was the only survivor in the entire USA. The groans of the dead were beginning to be too much, Elaine wasn’t sure what to do anymore. Scratchy and hoarse from lack of use she screamed out in frustration, “Fuckin idiots! Go eat a squirrel or somethin!” Collapsing onto the floor Elaine looked at her bow, its string broke weeks ago fighting off a herd, but she couldn’t find it in herself to leave it behind anywhere. The bow was the only thing she had left of her husband, they had been too poor for wedding rings. If she left her bow it would mean losing hope he was alive and Elaine knew she’d die when that happened. Succumbing to her exhaustion and dehydration Elaine nodded off. 

Aaron and Eric had been wandering in search of survivors for Alexandria, for the past six months finding anyone has been impossible. Searching nearby farms seemed to be the last resort, when Eric jumped out of the van he heard a faint yell, “Aaron, did you hear that?” 

Disorientated, all Elane felt was the bumps of road beneath her. Her head was throbbing and she thought it would be easier if she just gave in. The pain was too much, but the groans had been replaced by the lull of an engine; in her mind she was sitting between her husband and his brother taking a road trip. Delirium had taken over and she could almost faintly hear his voice; her husband's gruff laugh and gravelly voice reverberated in her ears. Her eyes blurry and unfocused began to cry; crying at the loss of her family and her husband's voice. 

The drive back to Alexandria had Eric and Aaron on edge. They couldn’t contain their worry - constantly looking into the backseat - after managing to get the woman out of the shed and into their van. She seemed to be extremely delirious and unable to understand there were people around her. When they had tried to pick her up, she had gone limp and was unresponsive; the only clear indicator she wasn’t completely gone was the death grip she had on the bow in her hand. Eric couldn’t help but bite his nails down to their beds in worry. Aaron and Eric were determined to bring her back to Alexandria and ensure she was ok. 

Nursing a delirious woman back to health is a noble task; Eric and Aaron volunteered to let her stay with them while she recovered. They had set her up in a spare room in their home and had Dr. Anderson come check her out. 

After two days of bed rest Elaine awoke with her headache subsided, but the hunger pains intensified; Elaine’s stomach clenched uncomfortably into knots. The unbearable pain took a backseat when she realised her surroundings; she was in a clean bed in an unfamiliar tidy room. If for the fact that the room was too fancy and not something she was accustomed to before the fall, Elaine might have believed she had a terrible never ending nightmare. The clothes she had on before were still there, her scars still present, but her arms and legs had a distinct lack of dirt. When she scanned the room Elaine saw something that took her breath away; across from the bed was a vanity, her reflection was sullen and unfamiliar. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. Elaine could not believe the amount she had changed - she had not had a moment to really look at herself. Bringing herself to her feet, Elaine waddled over to the vanity and sat on the stool. Caressing the lines on her face, Elaine felt strange; she had grown up without a lot and often was unable to eat much, but she had never seen her bones protrude so much. The face in front of her was not her own, but a stranger wearing her skin and sharing her eyes. The front door opening released Elaine from her trance; Eric and Aaron had come home and were talking outside her door. Looking frantically around the room for something to defend herself, Elaine spotted her broken bow placed in the corner. Placing herself on the side of the door Elaine waited with baited breath. When the door opened Elaine used what she had left of her strength and whacked the first man in the stomach and put him in a headlock.  

Returning from the pantry to prepare soup, Aaron and Eric placed everything in the kitchen. Aaron sighed heavily leaning on the counter for support - succumbing to the stress of his responsibilities and feeling like a failure being unable to bring enough people in - he rubbed his hands through his hair, “Do you think she’ll wake up soon?” 

Feeling Eric's arms curl around his waist released some of the tension Aaron had been holding for the last few months. They had managed to find a woman and bring her back, but her condition was fragile and she was still unconscious. He melted a little as Eric placed a delicate kiss on his neck and his breath warmed his skin, “She might not, but we have done everything we can so far. I know you’re holding onto the fact we could have found her earlier, but it’s a miracle we found her at all.” 

He understood that they were lucky to have found her alive - having come across so many recently deceased people, or abandoned campsites - but it didn’t ease his childish want to make sure everyone lived. Gently removing Eric’s hands from his waist, Aaron turned around to look his partner in the eyes, “I understand I can’t control it, but I wish we could help more people.” 

Feeling the warmth of Eric’s hands as he places them on his face and soothes him, Aaron is able to take a deep breath. Eric was always able to ground him. “I know.” Rubbing his face and leaning forward Eric puts his forehead against Aarons, “We have to take it one day at a time though. Let’s go check in on her.” 

Gasping, all the air was knocked from his lungs; Aaron had only opened the door when he felt a bow come in harsh contact with his gut. His legs gave out as he tried to gasp for air and he was quickly placed in a headlock. The only thing he could comprehend was the distinct lack of oxygen and the gasp that emerged from Eric. Aaron tried to wiggle free, but with the position the headlock put him in, it only worsened his oxygen levels.

The man in her grip tried to wiggle free, but Elaine was quite proficient in holding back people much larger than herself and was running on pure adrenaline. She stared at the man in the doorway who seemed incapable of moving; he was in shock. She allowed the man in her grasp to have just enough oxygen to stay conscious, but not enough to be fully functioning. After a minute of this silent standstill Elane broke the silence, “Where the hell am I!” 

[aspiringtrashpanda]

🔥I’m Alive🔥

In the literal, physical sense, at least.

See below for a long ramble about my life and what I'm working on. No reason, really. Just felt like shouting into the void. 

Not like I'm a super popular writer or anything, but maybe some of you have noticed that I've kinda disappeared over the last few months. Long story short, I went back into restaurant management, despite such a position sending me on mental health leave a few years ago due to a lack of work-life balance and deep depression.

That leave + regional lockdowns during the early stages of the pandemic were actually what got me back into writing in the first place. I rediscovered a passion I had had in high school, and had since abandoned because I didn't have time to do anything other than work, and then partake in less than productive activities afterwards with coworkers... where all we would talk about is work. The restaurant industry is emotionally and mentally draining, my dudes.

So, I wanted a change. I moved back home and told my parents I wanted to focus on writing while I bartended part time. They were supportive at first, but when I wasn't pumping out original work quickly, they started pushing me towards full time work. Money is important, I get it.

Unfortunately, I'm not qualified to do much else other than manage fancy-ish restaurants and I am really good at it. So, I tried again, and dropped off the face of the universe. Sure enough, I was tasked with an inappropriate amount of responsbilities for garbage pay and I once again found myself letting my hobbies (which are very important for my mental health) slide. I left that restaurant and have taken another restaurant job that I start on Monday... It sounds like it will be easier to manage. Fingers crossed.

ANYWAY, that’s why I haven’t been posting or updating much. On top of that, I feel like I’ve lost a lot of inspiration for my current works. I’m so tired and drained all the time, and just thinking about my fics is almost overwhelming. It brings me down often - how am I supposed to enjoy life if all I do is work and I don’t have the time to do the things I love? I’m terrified of sliding into a deep depression again.  Thankfully, one fic lives rent free in my brain. You see, I’m working on a sequel to Crystal Clear - my fever dream of a Steven Stone/Reader fic that I wrote in like a month (the things I can do when inspiration takes me...). The thing is, I’m not sure if I will ever post it. 

I’m conflicted. I had an idea for a sequel as soon as I finished the fic. It would take place a couple months later and would be a fairly long, fluffy one shot with a happy ending to make up for the bittersweet open ending of CC. But then, I had a dream. 

Let me tell you, dreaming the continuation of a fic you wrote is pretty wild and super immersive (probably because the world and plot and everything is SO PROMINENT in your subconscious). It was nothing like the follow up I had planned, and something I really didn’t think I’d ever be interested in writing. When I woke up, I was left with a lingering feeling of confusion and loss and a bit of a “...huh.” The more I thought about it, though, the more it made sense. And then I started sitting down and actively planning it out and yeah, I feel like it flows so nicely with the other fics in the series, and carries over many recurring themes. If you look at the end of CC as “the bad ending” (because really, they made a choice, and it was probably not the best choice to make, albeit the safe one), I feel like the continuation is sure to reflect the regret and resentment that would build between the characters.  I decided to embrace the “reader” as an OC. I gave her a name. I solidified her story. She was already more a character than “reader” anyway, but crossing into the Steven Stone/OC fandom is kinda scary and I don’t know how this will be received. And not only because of that - the fic deals with some themes that are definitely not everybody’s cup of tea, and I’m scared of people who liked CC being like “wtf is this?” because it isn’t the continuation that they pictured for themselves as “reader”. Not to mention, there’s a significant time skip, in which the characters have changed and grown and developed. What if people think they’re OoC because of how I’ve interpreted their reactions to certain choices? I feel like these characters are no longer “Steven” and “Wallace” and “reader”, but different versions that live in a completely different world that belongs to me. 

I’m a few chapters in, and I’m really loving how it’s turning out. I think it might be my baby, my labor of love. And that’s why posting it and not getting much reception (or negative reception) for it terrifies me. But I also want to share something I’m proud of. And I know I shouldn’t be writing for other people. I should be writing for myself. But validation and praise are nice and they make me feel good and I DON’T KNOW, I’m just not sure what to do. 

It’s not like I need to decide now, anyway. I’d like to write some more chapters before I start (IF I start posting), so there’s time to think about it. 

So yeah. That’s my ramble. Thank you for listening, void. 

TrashPanda out. 

[o-wise-corvid]

There Is A Child: CH 4

“Maul.” Windu’s voice thrummed with fondness. He rose from his desk, a squat little table where he could sit, have his tea service within arm’s reach, and deal with the near constant stream of updates, reports and queries that the Master of the Jedi Order was tasked with handling. The tall man rose up from this little staton though, spreading open his arms and enveloping the shorter, slighter Zabrak in a firm embrace.

Maul returned it. And for a moment, shed the years of training and maturity so that the lonely little boy who still dwelt within his hearts could feel this. The love. The acceptance. The faith.

“Master,” he said. Once. Lest the trembling of his voice be noticed. It was the same every time Maul came home. He would never say it but he missed his… his family so horribly when he was away. Their warmth. Their love that could be touched and held.

But this is why coming home to them wasn’t something Maul loathed. How could he? They were here.

“Too long, my boy.” Mace’s calloused, yet smooth, hands framed Maul’s face, tilting his head ever so slightly this way and that. “You’re thinner.”

“Mhm.” Depa smirked at the two, folding her hands within her sleeves.

“Hush up, enabler,” Maul grumbled but this only made the other Jedi snort and chuckle. Then he found himself once more enclosed within the adoration of his family. And the snark was suddenly difficult to find.

Their meal was simple. Flatbread with butter whipped with savory herbs, accompanied with a green salad for the humans and poached eggs for the Zabrak. And tea. Always tea.

Depa stifled her natural tendency to laugh as she watched her brother eat. She watched the subtlest of hesitations as Maul reached for his utensils. The quiet almost-question for permission. But then when he was unhindered, the Zabrak ate like a half-starved Dewback. She tried not to wonder when he’d eaten a decent meal last. Too often, Maul had gone multiple days without eating as a young man, not because it was withheld, but because he was too anxious to ask for it.

She and Mace shared a glance. But continued to eat; remarks would be a mistake.

“So,” Maul murmured around an egg-drenched piece of bread. He paused, wiping his mouth and then leaning back on the cushions to allow his full stomach to settle. “What is all this secrecy about?”

Mace handed his Padawans small cups of tea, not replying for a moment until he’d reclined back and had a sip. “It is not a secret. At least not you. You are… hopefully an answer to the situation.”

Maul’s brows lifted in quiet interest.

Cued by Mace, Depa spoke up. “Kit Fisto and his Padawan were sent to Nar Shadaa to help negotiate a trade with the Hutts and the Pantorans. Chemicals for medicine. Just a regular mission. They were ambushed however by a Mandalorian sect.” Depa’s brows pinched toward one another. “They fought the attack off; these Mandalorians could rudimentarily use the Force.”

“Mm. Most unusual.” Maul blinked, the steam from the tea ghosting strange against his eyes. “I still fail to understand how I am so important here?”

Mace wanted to smirk at Maul. He was such an overlarge tookah of a man. Down to the way his irises slightly contracted with his question. But Mace knew what was coming. And there would be no humor there.

“One of these Mandalorians was left behind. A child.”

The change on Maul’s face wouldn’t have registered to those who didn’t know him well. But Mace and Depa read the careful freezing of expression. The tightly maintained control about the lips. The narrowing of Maul’s irises to near-invisible slits… and the liquid bloom of acrid yellow that bled over the softer, warmer amber. That was the worst. The ghost of what Maul might’ve become had Plo Koon never found him.

“They’ve being contained at the moment,” Depa offered. “They’re not allowing anyone close. And they’re nearly emaciated as it is. Won’t eat. Sleeps only when they absolutely can’t keep their head up anymore. And their so filthy, Maul… we can’t even tell the species or gender. They won’t take off their helmet.”

Maul was very quiet and very still for a long moment. “This is going to be a very painful situation.” The words were… clinical. Detached. But the warning wasn’t lost on the other Jedi.

“We’ll help however we can. We know this isn’t going to be easy but-”

“No.” Maul shook his head. Not angrily. No. He even smiled a little. “For this child. They need this world… this life, like I did. But for them to accept it… that is the struggle.”

Mace reached over, across the table, offering an open hand to Maul. The Zabrak took it. “We knew you would understand this better than anyone. Even us. I have faith that you can help reveal this to the child. You are very stubborn.”

The three chuckled, but the levity of the moment was gone. Maul was quiet and removed again, deep in thought and memory, as he helped clean up the meal setting. The others allowed him this. But they stood on either side of the Zabrak, letting their closeness strengthen him. They all knew; Maul was going to need it.

“Stand just here. In the center.” The Quermian inclined a long, graceful hand, showing the tiny red smudge peering out from behind Mace Windu’s legs where he should place himself. The partially obscured boy shrank back a little, one fist clenched fiercely around the hem of Windu’s tunic.

“It’s alright, Maul. I will be right here. I promise.” Mace rested a hand lightly on Maul’s head, patting a little. “I’m not leaving you up here alone. It won’t take very long. They just want to ask some questions.”

The Zabrak shook his head. Hard.

“Come on, little man. You’re so brave. You can do this.”

The praise rested oddly on the little one’s ears. Mace wanted him to do this. But the praise came first? Before? Why? That was… backward. He hadn’t even completed the test yet…

So he hurried forward. Before the pain to make him do things caught him. And the hopeful feeling Mace had spoken with curdled in his throat.

“Hello little one. Can you tell us your name?”

Maul squinted. This was the Jedi who’d brought him here… had he forgotten? This was puzzling. Mace had also just said his name. Was Master Koon deaf suddenly? “You know my name…” he muttered sourly and then immediately slapped his hands over his mouth, hunching in case the Kel Dor became angry with him.

Plo Koon chuckled however. “You’re right. I do. But we need you say it for our records, if you don’t mind.”

Maul’s breathing slowed with relief and he swallowed hard. “Oh. I-I’m Maul.” His feet shifted on the hard, stone floor, the cold making his bare toes ache. Maybe he should’ve let Mace put those shoes on him that morning but… too late now.

“See the pad I hold?” Another Jedi, smaller than Maul, green and absolutely covered in wrinkles from his long, tapered ears to his three-toes, clawed feet. “A game, we shall play. See images on my side, I can. Guess them, you should.”

A game? Depa had played a few of those with Maul. He liked them. So far. He nodded his head.

The green Jedi smiled and then nodded. “Guess.”

“A… cup. A… sh-ship. A-another ship. A…” But Maul frowned, squinting. In his mind, images and shapes had seemed to pop into existence, and he just… said them. He’d seen them before. But this one… round with spikes all over it.

Maul glanced at the green Jedi, trying to wrestle his breathing down. Keep it even. Showing fear earned pain. But how could he say what he saw if he didn’t know it’s name? How was he supposed to accomplish this? They were going to hurt him. He wasn’t doing what was ordered.

“Little one?” Plo Koon leaned forward, bracing a clawed hand on the arm of his chair. “Are you alright?”

“Much fear is in him,” Master Mundi mused with a sad shake of his head.

The Zabrak before them was trembling so hard that his knees could be heard knocking together. Chest heaving, he bowed his head, eyes shining with unshed tears. “Don’t… don’t know what it is. Round. Spikes. Don’t know the-the n-name.” His face scrunched up into a braced grimace, waiting for a blow, a cut, a shock… anything. Pain. It was coming. It was always coming for him.

“Maul? Come… come on. Relax. Breathe. Breathe, little man.”

Mace’s heart clenched painfully when even under gentle touches, the little boy’s entire body jumped. He even cried out, a terrified sound.

“No, no… come on. Doesn’t hurt, see?”

There was a silent instant of tension in the room as Maul processed that he wasn’t being harmed… and then nearly collapsed into Mace’s arms. Shivering. Scraping his face free of tears.

“Not crying,” Maul insisted to no one, his voice so low Mace almost missed it.

He lifted his head, looking to the Council. “It’s… not easy for him. And probably won’t be for a while.”

“Understand, we do.” Yoda slipped on his chair and carefully approached the huddled pair. He held up his three-fingered hand so Maul could see it and then rested it on the boy’s brow.

Maul’s eyes widened, irises slitted, but then under the gentle touch, visible relaxation spread over his small frame. Until the eyes dropped shut. And he leaned against Mace’s chest, slipping into a deep sleep.

“Of improvement, the Healers speak?”

Mace nodded. “Slow. But yes, Master.”

“Time, it will take. Patience for this one, we will keep. Strong in the Force, he is. Wasted, he shouldn’t be.”

Mace stood, picking up the little boy who sighed heavily in his sleep. “Agreed. Thank you for letting me work with him, Master.”

Yoda chuckled. “Your Padawan, he will be. Decided it is.”

“Uh…” Windu looked at the rest of the council. Who all chuckled at him. He smirked at them, unable to fend off a grin as he carried Maul to the lift, and then to bed. That eventuality had been exactly what he was going to ask for.

[iamaslutforcoffee]

Home Sweet Home Chapter 2 Welcome To Hawkins!

"Well, Hawkins hasn't changed much" she heard a voice from behind her. She turned around, her brother Aiden spoke.

"Aiden it's Hawkins, Indiana. The more impressive thing is the fact that they have kept up with the times and updated the city just a tad." She replied, re-adjusting the box on her hip.

"True that, sis. True that." Her brother replied, laughing and roughing her hair up a little bit and walking back into the house they called home, once upon a time.

"Hey, Hawkins is the pride of this family! You guys grew up here, it'll be nice to be back somewhere familar!" She turned, facing their father. He was holding her young son. He was three, had the most beautiful blue eyes that matched her own. A button nose, just like hers. But his jawline matched his father's. The dimples matched him, and the curly brown hair too.

"Yeah.. I know dad. I just wish mom was here with us to enjoy it." Eloise spoke, setting the box down and grabbing her son from her dad. He was sleeping and she tried her best to not wake him. If he matched anything with his father besides Eloise's favorite aspects, Harrison matched his deep slumber tactics. That boy could sleep through the end of the world if given the chance.

Her father cracked a half-witted smile in silent agreement. The passing of the family's matriarch was a painful subject for the entire family. Her father just only wished that she lived long enough to meet her grandson and to hear her husband tell her how much he loved her again.

"Your mom never left, Ella. She's always loved Hawkins, she always will." She smiled, bringing her son inside and to her own former bedroom, placing him on her bed to sleep. Kissing his forehead and smiling, she continued the task of helping her family unpack what was left to do.

Thankfully, the movers moved most of the small family's things and only left a few things for the family to take with them. After her and Harrison's room was unpacked, she crept down the stairs with her hand grasping the delicate banister. She couldn't help but smile, the memories with that banister and stair case brought joy back to her pained mind. Like the first time she lost a tooth. Her and Aiden were play fighting and she missed a step on the stairs, plummeted down the steps and hit her big front tooth knocking it out.

She also remembered when she walked down the steps wearing her 7th grade dance dress in her favorite color of obviously black. Eddie waited for her down at the base of the stairs, shaven head and cheeky smile waiting for her. Even as young dorky kids, she was in love with him. It was the cheeky smile he had, even back then. It captivated her and even her mom. It took time for the family of Eloise to warm up to Eddie as he at first glance seemed like trouble, but after asking her father in the middle of dinner for permission to date his daughter they decided he was the adopted son they never knew they wanted.

She walked into the dining room where both her father and Aiden were sitting at the table, at their usual spots.

Of course there was three open seats left. Obviously the spot at the head was her mother's seat and no one dared to take it. On the left was Eloise's seat, and to the right of Eloise was Eddie's spot. Which now was replaced by a high chair for a child but alas it was still his.

"When do you plan on going to the high-school?" Her brother spoke, looking at her and she completely forgot.

"Shit, I outta do that now before I head over there tomorrow... I have to get Harrison enrolled in their children's program" she spoke, checking the time. Her watch read 10:23, and she grabbed her car keys and telephone off the table headed for the door.

"Eloise! Don't forget to grab your own things for your classes! Just because you're now a parent doesn't mean your education goes out the window Missy! Senior year is the most important year!!" Her father yelled and she shook her head smiling.

When her parents found out about her pregnancy it was almost too late. Her mother was dying from the cancer she developed unknowingly and honestly Eloise didn't know either until she fell at the hospital where her mother was for chemo. They weren't thrilled at first, actually they were pissed. But when it came to terms that it was happening rather they liked it or not, they were overjoyed.

Harrison Wayne Hemmington-Munson was born on October 31st, in Chicago Illinois. The name Harrison came from her mother, as she was just in absolute love with the name for a boy. Wayne came from Eddie's uncle, as he was always so kind to Eloise and treated her as his own daughter. Eloise hyphenated his last name so that just in case when Harrison was older he could always look into his family tree. She figured it would make it easy for him.

Pulling into the parking lot of Hawkins High School, she hummed a favorite song of hers as the final notes played. The base of the song rumbled through the stero, the beat dropping at the same time it always did.

Eddie always gave her shit for liking Korn, it wasn't Metallica or Iron Maiden, but she LIVED for it.

Parking next to a strange white van, she silently noted to herself to steer clear of who ever drove it when she figured that out.

Checking herself in the mirror she pulled her dyed blonde hair up into a messy bun. It would have to do as she spent most of morning tending to a hungry three year old with a disturbing amount of energy. She ticked it up to yet another attribute from Eddie.

She managed to find the school's office, shuffling past a sea of students and teachers rushing to their next class or what ever fancied them at the moment.

"Hi, I'm here to enroll myself and my son?" She spoke to the secretary sitting at the desk.

"Yes sweetheart, here is the paper work for you and the paper work you'll need for your child. How old is he?" She asked, looking up at Eloise.

"He's three, that's not to young for the program is it?" Eloise spoke, looking desperate and praying she wouldn't have to pay her brother for childcare.

"No, ma'am. He's welcomed here as long as he is enrolled" The secretary spoke handing over the paperwork.

Eloise smiled and thanked her taking the time to sit down and fill out the forms. After she was done she handed them back to the secretary and got her class books, schedule and locker for her and her son.

"Wait... your last name. Are you of any relation to a Eric and Anna Hemmington?" The secretary asked, looking at Eloise closely.

Eloise could only smile and nod, not wanting to really talk about her mother at the time. She may have been gone three years but the wound was still fresh and still hurt.

"Yes ma'am, that's my mother and father." Eloise spoke.

"Oh I remember you now! You've grown a lot!" The women smiled. Now Eloise remembered her. She was the school nurse in middle school. The amount of times they ran into eachother during that time was ridiculous to the point of where they knew eachother on a first name basis.

Eloise smiled, and thanked her for her time wanted to get back to her home. Leaving the office, she headed back to her car and cranked the air feeling herself start to sweat. For it being September it was hotter than Hell and she was starting to feel like a stuffed pig. As she pulled out of the parking lot she looked back and school was let out for some reason, probably a fire drill. Kids scrambled about to the designated areas on the grass besides one person. They leaned against the same white van she was parked next to. She couldn't really make out who it was due to their back being turn to her, but they were tall. Had long curly brown hair, and wore a god awful baseball shirt and a pair of ripped up black jeans. She shook her head and drove home.

"Welcome to Hawkins fucking high.." she mumbled.

And Welcome she was.