#usually this would be a private post but fuck it. I'm a new person and I talk about shit now!!!

[matchingbatbites]

"What the fuck did you do?"

Eddie wasn't expecting hostility when he answered Jeff's phone call, his best friend's usual calm demeanor replaced with open annoyance. And yeah, okay, the annoyance itself wasn’t new, but Eddie doesn’t think he’s actually done anything recently to earn it.

"Well-"

"Actually, no. I'll tell you what you did. You retweeted photos of Steve Harrington - internationally beloved heartthrob actor Steve Harrington - along with the caption 'not to sound like a subby slut but GOD I would be his puppy baby boy in a heartbeat'. So I guess the better question is, what the fuck were you thinking, Eddie?"

Eddie's jaw clicks shut because- yeah, he had done that. Had seen those photos of Steve smoking circling the internet and spent god knows how long just staring at them, had curbed the desire to shove his hand down his pants by posting a single thirst tweet about it.

“I was thinking, Jeff, that I'm allowed to post whatever I want to my private fucking twitter, man. I mean it's a free country, isn't a guy allowed to make a horny tweet about a sexy man every now and then?”

“You are, when you actually post it to your private account and not our award winning band's main account.”

No. Oh no. There's no way Eddie actually-

He rips his phone away from his face to open twitter, and realizes two things simultaneously. One, Jeff is right, he had posted it to the band's account. Not on his private, locked, personal account, but on the account that's actually open and free for literally anyone on earth to look at.

The second thing he realizes is that their notifications are currently flooded with responses to Eddie's tweet, somehow racking up into the thousands in the few hours it's been since. 

Jesus Christ.

“Eddie?”

The metalhead jerks back into the moment and put Jeff on speaker so he can scroll through the horde of replies, says “Fuck, I fucked up. Are we gonna have to do damage control on this?”

In the mess is a reply from Gareth's own personal account: @ corrodededdie stop tweeting from the band account challenge 🙄🙄🙄

”Maybe. There hasn't been any type of response from Harrington or his people, but they might ask us to take it down if it blows up too much.“

Eddie hums, thinking they might be too little, too late about it blowing up too much, and flips over to his main account so he can reply to Gareth's little jab appropriately. He isn't surprised to see that he has a couple of new messages, probably from other people wondering just what the fuck Eddie was thinking, but when he goes to check them-

He's never been happier that he turned on messages from followers only, because then he would have missed this, missed Steve Harrington's little profile picture beaming up at him from the screen of his phone, along with a new message request.

”Jeff, I gotta go,” he says, not even realizing he's cut the other man off.

“Eddie, what-

”Harrington messaged me. I'll call you back.“

Eddie doesn't wait for a response as he hangs up on Jeff, and his hands definitely aren't shaking as he opens the message from Steve. And listen- Eddie is a fan of the guy, that much should be obvious. 

Steve had grown in popularity around the same time Corroded Coffin had; he’d gotten some part in a drama film that had skyrocketed him into stardom, and Eddie fell in love the moment he saw that gorgeous face on the silver screen for the first time. He's never had a chance to interact with the guy, has been in the same place a few times but always missed him, like ships passing in the night, but Eddie's been fine with pining from afar, just like every other person on the planet that's even remotely attracted to men.

Besides, even with how popular Corroded Coffin has gotten over the years - a couple of Grammy’s here, a dozen chart topping metal songs there - Eddie doesn’t expect Steve to just. Know who Eddie is.

With all of this in mind, Eddie is expecting some kind of semi-casual request to take the tweet down, that it's not a good look for his image-

Anything other than what Steve actually sent.

'If you're puppy baby boy, does that make me Master? Or Daddy?'

And Eddie- 

Eddie slides down, sinks into his couch cushion as all of the blood in his body suddenly shifts, rushing to fill his dick like it's a fucking race. The phone almost slips out of his hand and he fumbles it briefly before taking a deep breath. 

Is Steve serious? He wouldn't send that if he wasn't serious, right?

This could be it, could be Eddie's one chance to impress Steve, to get his foot in the door of Steve's interest. He bites his lip and types out a reply, something quick that he sends before he can change his mind.

‘I’m open to either, actually. Do you have a preference, sir?’

He doesn’t expect the typing indicator to come up immediately, and just knowing that Steve is somewhere right now, typing out a response to Eddie, is enough to have him nearly vibrating in his seat.

‘I’m partial to Daddy, myself.’

Fuck fuck fuck.

Eddie takes a breath, tries to think of a response that isn’t just ‘Please, Daddy, can I sit on your massive dick that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since that one indie film you did that just had all of your junk out in the open?’

Steve saves him by sending another message.

‘But maybe we could start with Steve, and possibly dinner? Though I’d be happy to see where things go after that.’

He- What-

Eddie must have stopped breathing, because the next time he takes a breath his lungs burn, his mid races because there’s no way Eddie’s long term celebrity crush just asked him on a date. He sits there long enough that the screen goes dark and he scrambles to turn it back on, sees the message still there, real and unchanged.

There’s no way he can say no to this, to Steve, and his hands shake as he types out a response.

‘Dinner would be great. Just name the time and place, Daddy.’

[spade-club]

Okay okay so my person is home now after staying over and I feel like talking in weird detail so I'm going to do that on here if thats cool. This one is going to be more of a mixed bag of INTENSELY personal things than the usual cutesy stuff I usually say about them on my other blog bc I'm feeling lots of things today.

Warning for mentions of sex in both a positive and negative connotation also brief but notable death mention

First of all, theres such a strange feeling about allowing myself to be seen as a girl especially in a sexual sense. I'm not used to it and its weirdly comforting? Considering how much I fought against it for a long while there. I mean, I have mixed feelings about it and I wish there was a solution that let me be trans in just the right way for me to be treated more like I'm trans(/nonbinary/whatever) than anything else. Idk if that makes sense, theres just a balance for me I want to find but I think its good that I'm allowing things to go this way now, I'm experimenting with myself and it doesnt feel scary at all. (Well a little embarrassing but I think thats normal) it's just an adjustment to being on the other side of so many things that I've done to others but have never experienced myself. The mlw -> wlm experience sure is something.

They did ask me if I wanted to have sex and I said no because I was worried my trauma would get in the way and what we were doing was already kinda a lot for me. And I will say the way they just said okay, asked if I wanted to keep doing what we were doing and when I wasnt super enthusiastic about that (I said that we could, and I did want to, I just felt a tad awkward and I think they noticed that) they just stopped and we cuddled. I do wish that more could have happened, honestly, especially because we dont see eachother often and I dont know when anything will happen again. But I'm also very content with what has happened because I think I've been in need of a healthy sexual interaction for a long time now and I just havent really been able to catch a break lol (my ex was mostly fine but theres a lot of shit she did that made me so dysphoric and anxious in a way that lingered for a bit too long on my self worth. Not her fault though, just kid things I guess)

I am worried though that I have done something wrong or havent done something I should have and I dont know if they enjoyed it at all. Its hard to tell because they're a bit more of a closed book and I feel awkward asking like "hey, you know the absolutely nothing I did for you while you were doing things for me? Yeah was that like, okay? Did you have fun anyway? What was going through your mind? And also do you hate me? Are you ever planning on speaking to me again or did I already show you I'm too much of a challenge and do you want to move on from me completely and forever? Also sorry I almost killed you that one time, also that other time...... I would understand if you want me dead now... do you?" Like, how the fuck do you ask someone any of that??? Idk!!

I also think its notable that I have not done anything sexual with another person in almost three years now. I've only ever been with one person before yesterday. I've only ever KISSED one person before yesterday. So all of this is like, first and second times doing things and its. aAA!! I dont know what im doing at all and I'm so awkward and way too afraid to tell them this but maybe I should so they know where I'm coming from aaaa idk!!!

[anastasiabowe]

𝘾𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙗 𝙃𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 — what it's like having a husband who's a celebrity!

Note: Quick food for your pretty little thoughts 😍💕 (NSFW UNDER CUT!)

Content Warnings: rough kissing, p in v, photography of intimate times, oral (m receiving), switch (Choso),nipple play, desc of male parts. MDNI.

𝙎𝙁𝙒

𝘾𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙗 𝙃𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 who not only was famous in general, he was quite popular with the ladies. Everywhere he went there would always be some underage girls trailing behind us, never realizing that they could never stand a chance with him. He already found his soulmate, and no matter how many beautiful girls he comes across will change that.

𝘾𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙗 𝙃𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 who has to silence his phone at night to not disrupt your early slumber, or has to take multiple social media breaks because of all the overwhelming messages he gets every day. He usually has to make new accounts that are private for only him and his family/friends to follow so he can posts photos of you both for distant relatives to see.

𝘾𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙗 𝙃𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 who has to sadly keep you a secret. Many times paparazzi have seen you two together, but never once could they recognize you, but the headlines were glaring with fake gossip about his personal life. "CHOSO KAMO'S SECRET LOVER?!" "DID CHOSO KAMO LIE IN HIS RECENT INTERVIEW?!" "WHO IS THE MYSTERIOUS WOMAN ALONGSIDE CHOSO KAMO?!" he could laugh at how ridiculous the media is, always focused on what other people are doing and never worrying about real issues like homelessness or the rising numbers of people who can't afford basic groceries.

𝘾𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙗 𝙃𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 who although is always at some sort of interview/event always makes sure you are well taken care of. He always calls you, always texts first, and makes sure to make it up to you in any way he can. He knows you don't want to be in the limelight, but he can admit that he feels almost too selfish to be your husband. He wants to showcase you from the ends to the earth. Kiss you publicly, flip off any girl whose dreams were crushed, he wanted to show the wedding ring with your name engraved in it.

𝘾𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙗 𝙃𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 who always uses you to help him keep succeeding, that being having you help him memorize lines, because all he wants to do is hear your voice instead of the actress he has to fall in love with for the film, or have you help him get ready for a talkshow, and even sometimes a simple kiss on the lips and a quick pep talk, "Don't be so nervous, I don't want to see any wrinkles until your 45! So take a deep breath, and treat it like I'm right by your side, cause I am, just from afar!" making him laugh and loosen up a bit before any nerve-wracking thing he must do.

𝘾𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙗 𝙃𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 who pleaded and begged for you to come with him to an award show. Promising you any dress, any heels, any wish. He wanted this to be the moment he shines his golden wedding ring which went beautifully with your diamond one. He wanted to wrap his hand tightly on your hip, showing the cameras what's his. He wanted to go up on that stage and thank you, and only you for helping him work his way up to this. He wanted to introduce you to all his celebrity friends who they too didn't know you existed. To be honest, it wasn't a want anymore, it wasn't a choice for you anymore. You were going with him, and if you don't, he will simply die.

𝙉𝙎𝙁𝙒

𝘾𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙗 𝙃𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 who doesn't waste a second pulling you flush against him after dodging and weaving to avoid paparazzi or fans. He holds you so close, kissing your lips to the point of pain. You moan into his mouth, feeling his growing boner harden against your thigh. "Mmm, fuck, finally get to show my fucking wife how much I love her." He growled bringing his hands up with your shirt to pull it over your head. He then unclasped your bra, and his mouth watered seeing your tits. He couldn't wait to have you in every position he could think of, he might even put you into the same one a few times, just so he can see you so desperate for him.

𝘾𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙗 𝙃𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 who is a switch when it comes to sex. He will very much pound, circle, and suck you into the very shell of yourself, but he also wouldn't mind you using him as well. He could have you at his mercy one night, on your hands and knees begging like a starved puppy, or, he could be pleading for you to touch him after an hour of being tied up and you playing with yourself in front of him.

𝘾𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙗 𝙃𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 who surprisingly has a nipple kink. He goes absolutely psycho when you play with his nipples. He could cum simply alone from nipple play, and that plays into your fantasies perfectly. "Aha! N-no more, I need to b-be ins-IDE you!" Choso wreathed underneath you as you sat on his stomach playing with his nipples, licking, sucking, and biting the pink nubs. His hands and feet were tied to the corners of the bed, and you only let go on one of his nipples that you've been licking and sucking, and softly kiss his wet lips. "just one more baby, and you can get whatever you want, just one more." His breath shook as he nodded, feeling your warm lips and tongue resume what they were doing before.

𝘾𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙗 𝙃𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 who always, always, ALWAYS records/photographs you when you're being intimate. He had no plans of using them in a certain way, let alone post them, but he likes the feeling of having you with him everywhere, and that being when you both were the closest, when you both were the most connected (pun intended). The photos usually consists you somehow seductively posed before the intimate moment begun, then you looking like a hot mess. "fuckkk, look up at the camera baby, don't care which lense, look at all three for all I care." Choso encouraged as he bobbed your head up and down his dick. He groaned when you made eye contact with the camera, Choso getting butterflies seeing you look so... Sexy. Choso smirked as he recorded you, the gagging and slick sounds filled the phone, and all he could do was smirk at how obedient and hot you were. "Just like that, when I'm done recording this, I want a few more angles of you in different positions, does that sound okay?"

𝘾𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙗 𝙃𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 who could literally fuck you for days. Not an exaggeration. He would fuck you all night, and let you sleep for a few hours, and then fuck you again for many more hours, then let you sleep. You once did nothing but fuck for 3 days straight, and that's because your husband was in Paris for a month. Choso could not get enough of your pussy, and you could not get enough of his dick. His dick was everything you could have ever wanted (next paragraph goes in more detail). He knew how to use it, and so did you. You knew how to roll your hips and how hard you should bounce on his dick for it to reach your g-spot. You were good at finding it, but he was the best. "Harder, Cho! Please baby!" You moaned into his ear as he pounded into you. Choso quickly stopped his thrusts, and readjusted himself. He spread your legs even more, and spread his legs a little more too. He got better ground, and it was fucking game over for you. He rammed fast into you, and the immediate buttery feeling filled you. You let out scream in Euphoria, and he chuckled "Found it." Before he leaned down to kiss you. His hands gripped the sides of your head tightly as you both moaned loudly into each other's space. He smiled seeing your fucked out face, and couldn't help but think how you look a billion times hotter all fucked and spaced out for him.

𝘾𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙗 𝙃𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 who has a big dick. You knew, he knew, the media knew. How does the media know? Creepy people were taking photos of him at the beach, straight at his crotch, that sparked a whole new thing that resulted in many stories and fanfics being written about him that always talked about it, but here's his trusty wife to tell us the details. His dick is big in every way. 8.5. Fucking. Inches. Long. Not a joke, not a myth, it's a fact. And before any of you "that's not even a lot!" People start bitching, go look up an 8 inch dick and see if you can take that comfortably.. anyways, I digress. Everytime you both fuck, it hurts in the beginning. Choso obviously peeps you more than most, but it still can't change the fact it goes so deep. The stretch is a bit over moderate, but the depth is insane. You could actually feel it in your tummy, and Choso always pushes his hand deep into your tummy to feel it go in and out. You always wondered how you got so lucky to have a man like him, handsome on every part of him, inside and out, but truthfully, Choso always questions how he even pulled you, so who's really lucky?

[irishmammonagenda]

Death is a Debatable Thing-Obey Me x Reader

Summary: MC died 😱 and reincarnated as an angel, as per usual; chaos ensues. Word Count: 6.9k Warnings: Mention of Death, Cursing, Torture (mentioned, no torture happens) Michael is featured heavily in this, I just made up a personality for him, I don't play NB a lot (it makes me too sad) and I think he shows up there so if this is different to how he's portrayed there then L for me. Everyone except Luke was written as and can be read as Romantic(/platonic if you prefer)You can read Michael as Romantic, but I wrote him more Platonically.

post dividers from @saradika-graphics on tumblr (their dividers r really cool check them out if u havent fr (sorry for tagging you btw i just wanted to give credit)

"Absolutely not." You say, looking at your new found wings. "I did not die just to be reincarnated with the ugliest clothing I've ever seen."

"Would you have preferred to have been reincarnated as bare as Eve was in Eden?" The man you'd come to know as Michael. His dark skin shone in the blessed light of the celestial realm, his thick curly hair was pinned back in such a delicate fashion you wanted to unpin all the ornaments in it. Your fingers twitched at your sides.

"Isn't that against modesty rules or something...?" You paused, Simeon was an angel, he essentially had his ass out at all times anyway. Whore.

Michael stares at you weirdly, before playing with one of the loose strands of his hair, pulling the tight coil until it was completely straight before letting go and letting it spring back up again. Now you really wanted to mess up his hair. Just to annoy him.

"So anyway..." You start, sitting on a cloud that you fall through. For a moment you think you're about to pull a Lucifer and fall through the sky, but you manage to grab onto something and pull yourself up. That something is Michael's ankle and he's laughing at you, wiping a tear from ruby red eyes that shine just like that of his fallen brother.

"Stop laughing at me! Anyway, when can i go to the Devildom?" You inquire, watching Michael's face turn stern. He glares down at where you're lying, still gripping his ankle

"You're not returning to the Devildom anytime soon." He says sharply.

Your breath hitches. "Why not?! I have to let the brothers and Dia and Barbs and Sol and everyone else know I didn't die!"

"You did die. Why do you think you're an angel." Michael sighs, "and no. You're not letting them know you've returned."

"Why not?!" You repeat, outraged. "No offence though MC, but you´ve just died." "So?" You reply with indignation. "So," Michael says in a mocking tone, pitching his deep voice up high before letting it fall down the octaves once more. "You're barely able to walk on clouds or do anything yet. Letting you down to the Devildom is the equivalent of sending a baby bird into a den of lions."

"But...they'd protect me." You said softly, Michael's tone softens as well, laying a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"They'd also over-protect you, they've just lost you. I don't think you're ready for that smothering just after your death."

You nod. Michael's soft expression turns devious, "Plus, this way, you have plenty of time to think about how youre going to scare my broth-...the brothers and everyone else whilst proving you're alive...well an angel..."

You grin too. "Amazing point Mr Michael."

He plays with his golden locks again, an idiosyncracy. "Anytime" He grins before beginning to walk again, you grab onto his ankle tighter. "Oh and Mc?"

"Yeah?"

"Call me Mr Michael again and I'm shaving all you hair off. And trust me. Angel hair does not grow back." He smiles evilly. You shudder.

Well it turns out Michael is a fucking liar.

After being a little bit too bored during your second month of being an angel and first month of learning not to fall through the clouds in Michael's private garden that consists purely of clouds and a singular harp he stole from some poor Irish Deity, you go bored and snipped your unnaturally long angel hair up to your waist. You didn't want to go too short just yet.

In the time frame of a week you learnt two things.

One: Angel hair does grow back, maybe a tiny bit faster than human hair, and Two, Michael was babysitting the harp. Turns out the Deity was called the Dagda and he was visiting France on holidays for some reason, poor man, having to go to France and deal with all the French People there. Turns out he left the harp in Michael's hands, something about Fomoranians not being smart enough to see this one coming.

You just nodded and slowly backed away. Michaels red eyes followed you. He and Lucifer had to be twins.

Another day passed. The more you thought about it, the more Michael and Lucifer had to be twins. After having cut your hair to just below your shoulders, you found a piece of unnecessarily fancy parchment paper and a quill on Michael's desk

Holding the black quill in your hands you felt a sense of familiarity wash over you. Was that?....

No fucking way.

Michael was using one of Lucifer's feathers as a quill. You cackled.

After much deliberation you'd realised you could not write with a quill, but also that you were very good at ripping paper and making blotches of ink on said paper with a quill.

You decided to snoop in Michael's desk for a pen, instead you found a drawer titled, 'LUKE ONLY' in cursive letters, the label was stuck to the drawer so obviously you opened it.

Colouring books, letters written by Luke from the Devildom, Report Cards, Crayons, Drawings, and a pack of stickers were left in the drawer, a notepad lay next to it, Michael's cursive handwriting all over it 'Activities to do', it had things like 'Bowling' and 'Baking' and 'Gardening' and 'Teach him how to knit' and 'Arts and Crafts' and 'Prank Jesus' and 'Take him to Human Realm Cinema' and and anything else really. You cooed, your ivory wings rustling happily.

You grabbed a crayon and began to write.

WHY MICHAEL AND LUCI ARE TWINS one; same eyes two; both evil three; both hot four; satan is basically luci's son if you think about it and michael has blond hair too, if luci and michael are twins that means that blond hair is in the gene pool and thats how satn has blond hair even though luci has black hair five; both like wearing dramatic cape coat things six; both of them baby luke seven; they ha

"What are you doing?" Michael asks, startling you, and ruining your next point of 'they have hands', "Why is my drawer open?" He grabs the parchment from you, reads it and bellows out in laughter.

"We are twins you could've asked." He smiled, "also put the crayon back thats Red and Luke likes colouring in Teddy Bears red."

"Yessir."

You were a master conspiracy theorist.

In the end, you and Michael had decided on visiting the Devildom for 'diplomatic' reasons, but upon seeing the glint in his eyes it was probably more for 'dicklomatic' reasons seeing as he's an utter dickhead.

You had a veil covering your face, seeing as you were still kind of legally and widely believed to be dead.

You know, the usual.

You walked behind Michael, attempting to kick at the back of his knees, it never worked sadly. You took a deep breath as you reached the RAD council room doors.

Michael grabs you by your shoulders whispering into your ear. "Now remember MC im going to use you as a bargaining tool, so keep that veil on till i say so, got it?" He grins.

You nod, knowing that 'bargaining tool' in Michaelish translates to 'im bored and want to see a dramatic reunion'

Michael opens the doors.

You walk in with him but stand at the door awkwardly, steeling yourself so you don't immediately run into any of your idiots' arms.

Luke apparently had the same idea, as when he saw Michael, he let out a happy 'yip!' kind of sound similar to a puppy's and then ran from where he stood beside Simeon and Solomon into the Archangel's arms.

Michael catches him happily, petting his head as the young angel nuzzles into his hair, blabbering on about who knows what. Asmo takes a photo of it, everyone else stares with varying levels of fondness, awkwardness and 'meh'.

Sadly for you however, once Simeon is done greeting Michael, and Michael is now distracted by Luke introducing him to Barbatos who is apparently the 'bestest baker in the world!' (you could agree with that sentiment), Simeon walked over to you, his serene smile on his face.

"Hello, I'm Simeon, forgive me for asking, but do I know you? You have a familiar aura."

You shake your head.

"Oh, never the matter" Simeon smiles, "What's your name then. my friend?"

You clear your throat and put on a deep american accent, "Rupert...Pleasure to meet you...Simeon.."

"Are you sure we haven't met before?"

"Certain." You say in the same ridiculous voice.

Simeon nods, he excuses himself after Solomon calls him over, you turn to glance at Michael who is carrying a now sleeping Luke in his arms and gently stroking the boy's golden hair while stressing out Lucifer with questions. Satan looks on with a smirk on his face.

Glancing around the room you see similar scenes, Mammon and Levi are playing a game on the latter's switch, Asmo, Solomon and Simeon are talking, sometimes glancing at you. Barbatos and Diavolo were watching Michael annoy Lucifer, with both sometimes adding their input, causing Michael to laugh loudly then stiffle it, so as not to wake up the sleeping baby in his arms. Beel and Belphie were near the others but still off in their own twin world, Belphie was awake and watching Michael bully Lucifer from where his head laying sleepily on his twin's leg.

Raphael, Thirteen and Mephisto had been sent out on a top secret mission the day before, Michael had said it was because he didnt want to die and also did not want his death to be put in the RAD Newspapers, especially a picture of him that was less than flattering.

Even though everyone seemed joyous, you noticed an air of sadness, like something was missing. Looking at your old seat in the student council you see the amount of flowers set on it.

Against your better judgement, you walk towards it. Not noticing a few pairs of eyes following you.

When you reach your former desk, you notice a photo of you framed, it was you and everyone, a family photo, everyone was either in their demon, angel or reaper forms, you wore really cheap red horns with a halo you shoved on one of them whilst also wearing an old reaper robe. It looked ridiculous, you loved it.

"Enjoying yourself? Rupert.~" a honeyed voice startles you. Asmo, although, somethings in his voice, maybe anger, maybe suspicion.

"Uhhh.." You say in your fake american accent.

"I'm Asmodeus, avatar of lust.~ Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Guess so." You shrug Americanly, thankful once more the veil covers your whole face.

Asmo's eyes have some hurt in them, he seems...catty, probably because you, who he thinks is a random stranger is just standing at his dead loved one's desk.

L.

You open your mouth to say something, but no sound comes out, especially not when another familiar voice is added to the mix.

"Well hello. I don't believe we've met before. The name's Solomon. You must've heard of me."

Oh shit.

"Oh...I have, briefly! Hello Solomon, my name's Robert." You say in your fake deep american accent voice.

Asmo tilts his head, "I thought your name was Rupert?"

Shit.

"Oh. Yes" You quickly bullshit, "My name's got the hyphens, Robert-Rupert." You avoid eye contact despite the fact you have a veil covering your face that only lets you see out of it, so the sorcerer and demon can't even make eye contact with you, even if they wanted to.

This was getting awkward.

"You seem very familiar Robert-Rupert." Solomon says, you did not like that crafty smile.

"I get that a lot." You nod before walking away.

You walk towards Michael who, has a now awake but sleepy Luke in his arms, he sits on one of the sofas in the council room beside Simeon, with Barbatos, Diavolo and Lucifer facing them on the other sofa. Atleast you'll be safe from Solomon over here. As you walk, you notice Satan, Beel and Belphie have left. Either Lucifer was going to get pranked or Lucifer was going to get pranked but not as prankily because Beel unknowingly made puppy-eyes. Mammon and Levi were bickering quietly in a corner (shocking they could do it quietly) about who won the lat round of Devilio kart.

When Michael saw you approaching he waved you over, beckoning you to sit down in the empty space beside him, "This is an angel I'm currently training, their name is.....Steven."

Simeon tilts his head "I thought their name was Rupert?"

Michael clears his throat awkwardly.

You make your voice the deep horrible American accent, "My full name is Robert-Rupert-Steven...it's hyphenated."

Michael nods aggressively.

Lucifer, Simeon, and Barbatos side-eye eachother. Something was going on here.

"So, Robert-Rupert-Steven," Barbatos begins, his polite smile a little jagged at the edges, "I saw you at MC's desk earlier, how so?"

At the mention of your actual name, everyone there tenses up, Luke, thankfully is too sleepy to have realised, Michael quickly stands up with the small angel in his strong arms, knowing if he heard the conversation about to occur he would be upset, "I should probably go, give this one a walk around to wake him up a little. Simeon, would you like to come with me?"

Simeon nods, Michael and Him leave the council room, with Luke sleepily holding both of their hands and walking slowly along with them.

Now you were stuck with the Prince of the Devildom, the Scary Butler and the Scary Single-Dad. All of which haven't realised that it's you, and all of which thinking you are a random stranger.

"Well, Robert-Rupert-Steven?" Diavolo asks, his friendly demeanor the tiniest bit strange,"What captivated you to go towards MC's desk."

"Who's MC?" You decide to play it dumb. Bad decision, seeing as all three stiffen, Barbatos' being the most unnoticeable.

A very long 3 hour conversation went by, wherein, Diavolo, Lucifer, Barbatos as well as a certain Mammon and Levi who joined 10 minutes in, and an Asmo and Solomon who joined 12 minutes in talked about you, for 3 hours straight.

'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.' was an accurate reprenstation of your mental state actually.

The urge to just rip your veil off right there was almost stronger than the urge to dropkick Maddi anytime you remembered she existed. Keyword being almost.

You just about made it out of the council room with your life. Now for your master plan. Scare the absolute shit out of the Anti-Lucifer-League. That'll get them back for never listening to your amazing prank suggestion of leaving random origami swans around the house in random spots. It was genius!

Breaking into the House of Lamentation was always easy when you knew that Mammon hid his emergency house key behind the garden gnome that now you saw it....kind of looked like a really bad rendition of Michael. With its dark skin, A DnD-esque robe and, a horrible smiley face painted on it, and the worst crime of all, bright yellow, almost neon hair, and also a princess tiara.

You almost cackled.

Taking the key you slowly open the door to the kitchen and sneakily sneak in. Sadly for you, it was they key to the kitchen door to the outside of the back of the house, which meant it opened in the kitchen, and since it opened in the kitchen, you awkwardly waved at Beel, who was having a midnight feast.

Beel tilts his head. "You're the Angel from earlier. What are you doing here?"

You once more, fake your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice and say, "I have Materials for the Anti-Lucifer League as they've suggested."

You are such a good liar.

"Oh," Beel nods, normally he wouldn't let a stranger into the house, but something felt...familiar...and safe with you. "Okay then, do you know where you're going?"

"Yes."

Beel nods, and goes back to eating the pudding labelled 'MAMMONS: BEEL DONT TOUCH THESE'

After much searching, you do not find the Anti-Lucifer-League, but you do unfortunately, open the door to Lucifer's office. The place where Lucifer currently is.

He looks up immediately on guard. You are not prepared to die a second time,

"What are you-" He begins, in demon form and standing up.

You interrupt him, making 'woooooh!' sounds and waving your arms about, and in your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice, you say "Wooooh! I am the....ghost of christmas past!...Woooh! and I am..." You pause, not noticing your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice has began to slip away, and your natural one has taken its place. "I am here to tell youuuuu.....to woohhhh! Take breaks more! Woooh!....and not overwork yourself! Woooh!"

Lucifer pauses, the danger in his eyes fades into disbelief. He knows that voice. He's spent the better part of a year listening to recordings of that voice and praying to his Father for the first time since the celestial war for that voice to return to him.

"..MC?.."

You've been found out. Quickly you put your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice back on, except it's gone up 12 pitches. "Who's MC?! Haha! What a weird thing to sa-"

You don't get to finish, as Lucifer pulls your veil off. His breath hitches upon seeing your face.

Your covers been blown. All because you pretended to be the ghost of Christmas past. Great.

Lucifer immediately pulls you into a hug, arms tightening around you, as if he's afraid you'd disappear. He chuckles, wiping tears from his eyes, his frame shakes. "I thought-thought I'd lost you forever...I always thought your face was angelic...-...it's fitting."

You hug him just as tightly.

But ever the menace, after about an hour or so, you look up at the Avatar of Pride, "Say, Luci?"

"Yes, my dove?"

"Wanna help me prank the rest of them?"

"Perhaps...I might help with...some setups..." He pauses, "You are telling Barbatos outright though."

You shudder. "Of course I am. I don't have a second deathwish."

Lucifer's grip on you tightens slightly, you kiss his cheek in apology. "Sorry," You grin, "Too soon?"

"Try again in another century dear."

The next day, the first thing you and Lucifer do is travel to the Demon Lord´s Castle.

Barbatos greets you in the Entrance Hall, "Oh, Lucifer," He nods in greeting at the eldest of the brothers (second eldest actually, seeing as Michael enjoys bragging that he's older by a whopping total of 2 minutes) he turns to you, who put the veil back on, "And Robert-Rupert-Steven, Welcome to the Demon Lord's Castle, although, I must ask, why you have shown up today?"

In your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice, you accidentally, against your better judgement, and rather impulsively state; "I'm here to assassinate Dia-...volo."

A portal opens, dragging you through it, and you land in the feared rumoured dungeons. Barbatos follows gracefully, now in Demon Form. Leaving a sighing Lucifer in his wake in the Entrance Hall. He decides to just journey to Diavolo's office and discuss things related to work. Barbatos wouldn't hurt you when he found out it was you so he really had nothing to worry about. Maybe you'd finally learn to stop joking about assassinating Diavolo, especally when other Noble Demons were around at Balls.

Sadly for you, you were now alone in Barbatos' Dungeons. Now what's scarier than being alone in Barbatos' Dungeons? Being alone with Barbatos in Barbatos' dungeons.

Time to run away.

As it turns out, running away isn't very easy when magic chains pin you to the wall. In your panic, you blurt out, "You know, I'd rather you pin me to the wall haha!" in your normal voice. The fear forcing your horrible puns and jokes to slip out.

Barbatos, who had been approaching menacingly calmly with a torture device pauses so fast it gives you whiplash. (Better than getting whiplash from the whip he was previously holding.)

In some display akin to a cockroach kind of squirming about after you crush it, in your chained up state you manage to twitch enough that you were able to pinch a piece of your veil's fabric just enough that it falls to the ground.

Immediately, the magic chains fall away, strong arms catch you as you stumble. "Hi Barbs..." You say breathlessly.

Barbatos looks like he'd seen a ghost. (You were an Angel, thank you very much.) After your death he had tried and tried to pull a you from another dimension. It would never work, some force stopped him each time. (To be fair, it was probably your jealous ass. No way in Diavolo were you being replaced by yourself from another dimension.)

His bottom lip trembles, much like the rest of his body, as he leans in, "May I, my dear?" You nod, giving him your consent as he kisses you so gently, as if he feared you would break or fade away.

He murmurs apology upon apology for the fact he had no doubt frightened you, he couldn't risk a threat to Diavolo, your 'death' had left him a little...tethered and emotional.

You close your eyes and kiss him again, now noticing you're in the kitchens and not in the spooky scary dungeon.

"Wanna bake cookies? Like we always used to do?"

Barbatos nods softly. "You do have to tell Lord Diavolo you're actually alive though, little lamb."

Your eyes light up. "We could make a cake! And hide me inside it!"

Barbatos sighs, but looking at your puppy eyes, he agrees. Gently he picks a stray ivory feather from your wings, making them rustle at the touch. Devil...you looked angelic.

Baking with Barbatos was always fun, but sadly he did not agree with your attempt at throwing flour at him.

"MC?" He catches your attention, bringing an ungloved hand to caress your face, "Have I ever told you that you shine brighter than all the stars in the Devildom?"

You blush and try to cover your face when he turns away to add more eggs into your batter only to find flour on your face. That sneaky bastard! Psychological warfare is illegal. And that sure felt like it.

It was on.

Apparently it was only on for you though. Though you did get a speck of flour on Barbatos' apron. That was a win, especially if you ignore the fact that your face and apron were covered in the white powder, which you were ignoring! So take that Barbatos!

In the end, the cake was beautiful, Barbatos helped you into the cake, and cut out a you shaped hole out of the layers made.

He then helped you out again, and the Flour War began again only this time with icing.

Hiding in a cake is quite a fun experience. Especially when you can take bites of your hiding space. Yum yum.

You feel Barbatos' wheeling of you stop as he reaches Diavolo's office, he knocks on the door, and as you requested, begins to film on his DDD (you had to promise the video would never get out of your hands.)

Diavolo sat alone, Lucifer had had to leave an hour before, Beel had went on a rampage in Hell's Kitchen again apparently.

"My Lord, I feel you have been feeling down, so here is a treat." Barbatos says, "And as a special treat, I will allow you to cut it yourself." He nods at Diavolo who you can just picture has stars in his eyes as you hear the demon butler walk to a corner of the room, still filming.

Diavolo brings the knife to the cake, as it cuts into it, you grab the blade and pull it forward. Upon hearing Divaolo's confused murmurs, You peek through the tiny hole the knife made, seeing Diavolo distracted, tilting his head like a child and asking Barbatos what he should do now.

You however know what you should do now.

Quick as a flash, you shove your hands through the cake, reach for Diavolo's arms and pull him in face first.

You didn't even care if it was probably treason. Diavolo's suprised screaming and Barbatos' slight surprised chuckle was so worth it.

It was worth it for Diavolo even after 4 hours, as he held you in his big arms, whilst the both of you were still covered in cake. Barbatos, the traitor, snapped photos of this and sent them to Lucifer.

On a great note, Diavolo agreed to help prank the rest of the brothers with you, much to Barbatos' dismay. (The butler was definitely going to help you with a certain sorcerer, however)

After a night and day at the castle and a very extensive bath, you recollected your veil, and snuck out (read: Barbatos and Diavolo waved goodbye to you and gave you some left over cake for the journey home) of the castle, you began your walk to Purgatory Hall.

Michael was staying there, and you needed to tell him everyone's reactions so far.

It was also a Saturday, meaning that Solomon would be out in Sorcerer's society meetings all night and morning.

When you got there you made use of the tree there and climbed up it until you saw something in Luke's room. You paused your climbing and looked in through the window.

Two figures were in the Young Angel's room.

As Luke lay tucked in in his bed, cuddling the dog plushie that Mammon had given him at a carnival last year that he claims to have thrown away, Michael and Simeon sat on his bed, the nightlight on the boy's bedside table created a gentle glow that the two elder were using to read the storybook strew across both of their laps aloud, they appeared to be acting it out ever so slightly. When Luke finally drifted off. Both Angels kissed his forehead then dimmed the nightlight down slightly, dim enough where it wouldn't hurt the boy's eyes but bright enough that the dark wouldn't scare him if he woke up in the middle of the night, keeping the curtains open for added light.

You cooed silently, your white wings rustling.

Snapping out of it, you scale across the wall before finding the spare room Michael was staying in and breaking in.

"Hello Motherfucker." You greet the Archangel.

"You couldn't pay me to fuck your mother."

"Harsh. And here I was about to tell you my escapades..." You sigh dramatically. Michael immediately smiles sweetly. Buttering you up. You cave.

After about an hour of Michael laughing at you specifically, and then changing your contact to 'ghost of christmas past' the bastard finally fell asleep.

Feeling thirsty, you snuck downstairs into the kitchen to get a drink, and also a sharpie so you could draw a mustache on Michael's face. Not bothering to put your veil on seeing as no one would be awake anyway.

As you filled up a glass of water and leaned against the kitchen counter drinking it, lost in your own plans, mainly of who to prank nest and how to do it.

You don't hear the little pitter-patter of feet until it's too late.

"MC?" A sleepy Luke stands in the doorway in cat themed pajamas no doubt gifted to him by a certain someone, he holds his dog plush loosely as he rubs his eyes with a tiny fist.

He walks slowly towards the cupboard, pouting sleepily when he realises he can't reach it, you immediately grab his favourite mug,(the one with the red tractor on it) knowing to put milk and some sugar in it before placing it in the microwave for 2 minutes.

Luke walks over to you still half asleep, resting his face on your side, you bring him in for a hug. "Simeon said you went to a happy place after you left, he always got sad when I asked when you were coming home..."

You bite your lip and speak softly, "My flight got delayed for a little while," You lie. Luke didn't need to know you died, Simeon hadn't told him in the best of ways to shield the young boy, that worked out in your favour.

You catch the microwave before it beeps, taking the warm milk out and stirring the hot-spots out of it before handing it to Luke. With his teddy now in the crook of his elbow, he sleepily took the mug before putting his tiny hand in yours.

"C'mon Luke, let's get you back to bed." You say softly, he nods tiredly.

"Will you tuck me in? And read me a bedtime story?" He yawns quietly.

"Of course."

After closing his curtains and tucking Luke in, he snuggles up to you and you read him a bedtime story, after drinking his warm milk, he falls asleep quite quickly, so do you.

A mistake, really. Seeing as in the morning when Simeon comes in to wake the small angel up and sees you there he lets out a shriek very out-of-character for him.

A shriek which wakes both you and Luke up.

Luke smiles toothily, "Oh Simeon! MC came back last night! Did you not see?"

Simeon collects himself, "I must've been asleep Luke, why don't you get dressed then come down for breakfast? Michael and I made pancakes. M-MC, why don't you come downstairs now?"

Luke nods and gets up dutifully.

As soon as you leave the room and Simeon is sure you're both out of the earshot of Luke, he pulls you into a hug which you return.

"I thought I'd lost you.." He breathes out softly.

"Me? C'mon Simmy...you know I'd never let death keep me." You laugh, he laughs breathlessly.

"I suppose not...." He captures your lips in a soft innocent kiss before leading you downstairs, hand-in-hand.

When Michael sees the two of you he offers you a pancake, far too casually for Simeon's taste.

Simeon looks between the two of you and glares at Michael. "You knew about this."

"Haha! Funny story actually! I need to go help Jesus! He's gone and ventured into another desert!" Michael laughs nervously before booking it, only coming back when Luke appears, knowing then he's safe from Simeon's wrath....

....for now.

You took out your super serious napkin and crayon that you stole from Diavolo (read: Diavolo gave you) and crossed out Simeon's name.

Your list was now as follows:

Purgatory Hall Simeon Solomon House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

For Satan and Belphie, you could knock out two Anti-Lucifer-League Birds with one stone. It felt a little mean to prank prank Levi and Beel...Mammon and Asmo were debatable, but you were going all out on Solomon. That'll teach him to turn you into a sheep that one time 2 years ago.

After careful deliberation and planning, (20 seconds of thinking.) You'd decided to sneak into the Sorceror's society and jokingly attempt to assassinate Solomon, and maybe fully assassinate Maddi if she was there. Not maybe, definitely.

Veil over your head, you walked in, when the sorcerer guards stopped you, you just pretended to be Michael then walked further in. Apparently they were terrified of the Archangel. Damn this society needs better sorcerers securitying it.

After stealing schedules you realised Solomon would be in a meeting right now with a bunch of no names. Oh well.

You crept into the meeting and attempted to plunge the butter knife Barbatos' gave you from the castle kitchens specifically for this in his neck, knowing he'd dodge. "This is for the Sheep Potion you Rat Bastard!" You screech like a Bean Sídhe. After half a millisecond of shock and slight anger, Solomon realises who it is behind the veil, laughing he grabs the arm you're holding the butter knife in and drags you into his lap, gently ripping the veil off of you and giving you a peck on the forehead, before he turns to the shocked and slack-jawed sorcerers that looked older than he did. "Sorry all, my adorable partner," He puncuates the word partner by pulling you closer to him, "missed me a little too much. and has-" He kisses you on the lips passionately for a moment, leaving you very much breathless and him very much chuckling, "-strange ways of showing their affection."

Bastard.

Some time into the meeting you whisper, "How are you not more shocked?"

"Well Robert-Rupert," He whispers teasingly back to you, "Remember that binding spell we did back when you were alive? It never broke. I knew the moment I saw you."

Your heart stops. "Did you tell anyone else?"

"I debated telling Asmo, but I suppose you wanted to on your own terms." He teases.

"I should've tried to stab you with a sharper knife."

Solomon laughs, "Oh and MC my love?"

"Hmm?"

His eyes glint predatorily, "You look absolutely ravishing as an angel. I can't help but want to corrupt you..."

You bury your face in his chest to hide your blush.

Bastard.

On the bright side, now a rumour that Solomon the Wise and Michael the Archangel are secret lovers has spread around the Devildom. You're counting that as a win.

Purgatory Hall Simeon Solomon House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

After your encounter with Solomon, you'd decided learning to just hide your angel form was the best course of action. Luckily it was fucking easy and you could've done it ages ago. Strange how Simeon and Luke never mentioned it....meh. You're pretty sure Luke just thought Michael thought you were super cool so he made you an angel. You weren't telling him anything otherwise.

´Satan and Belphie watch your fucking backs.´ was the pedal note of all your thoughts currently, you´d snuck back into the House of Lamentation, thankfully Beel was not in the kitchen, he was at Fangol at this hour.

Walking through the halls stealthily, you heard whispers as two sets of feet seemed to enter the room at the farthest end of the hallway. Lucifer´s room.

You fucking caught them.

No time to be caught in Lucifer´s room, seeing as if you were there long enough and Lucifer caught you, you would not be leaving for a good while.

So you crept up to the attic, the official Anti-Lucifer-League headquarters, you climbed the pillars to get on the roof and you waited.

Sure enough, ten minutes later, snickering could be heard coming up to the attic. Satan opens the door, letting Belphie in, both brothers in various fits of sniggering as they walk into the room.

"He'll never see this one coming!" "This is our best one yet."

From your place on the attic ceiling, you spot Lucifer filming on his DDD from the shadows of the doorway. Of course he found out about this.

"Of course it's our best one yet!"

You swing down off of the ceiling beam, swinging lightly upside down. "And you didn't invite me?" You pout.

Satan and Belphie scream, clutching onto eachother, before noticing that it's you and running to pull you down and clutch onto you instead. You notice Lucifer chuckle and put his DDD in his pocket before leaving. Traitor.

You cuddle into your two Anti-Lucifer League Brethren, maybe this wasn't so bad. (Of course it wasn't, you loved your idiots.)

Safe to say, you didn't leave the attic for a long time. Apparently people need time to process that you're not actually dead. What madness.

House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

You had long unentangled yourself with a sleeping Belphie and Satan, making sure to leave a:

it wasnt a dream dont worry lads im alive.

note on their chests just in case.

Sitting in the attic with your napkin and crayon in hand, you ripped the Purgatory Hall part off of it and used the back of it for that note, you scanned through the list. You should save your First Man for last, so your next options were Beel, Asmo and Levi.

Seeing as you've shown yourself to Belphie, it's only natural your gentle giant is next.

Watch your fucking back Beel. Literally

Speaking of, it's been a few hours, Beel should be coming back from Fangol practice any moment now.

As was routine at this point, you crept through the House of Lamentation's halls and quickly ran into Beel and Belphie's shared bedroom.

As Beel walked into the room, his Fangol bag slung across his chest and a pile of after Fangol snacks in his hands, you braced yourself, made a run for it, anf landed right square on his back, arms around his neck to keep from falling.

"Oh hi MC!" Beel hummed cheerfully, before his eyes widened and he dropped his snacks. "MC?!"

"Hi!"

Quick as a flash, Beel maneuvers himself in 'dying cockroach you in Barbatos' dungeons part two' and grabs you into his arms.

"I thought you died..." He said, smelling your hair as he cuddled you.

"I did. I just came back as an angel."

"Really?" His breath hitches, "Can I see?.."

You take a deep breath and your wings and halo pop out, he strokes them gently.

"You're beautiful..." He whispers, enraptured...."I think...out of all of Father's creations over the years since the celestial war...you're the most precious...."

He speaks softly, always the gentle giant, the moment lasts for just a moment, before the moment, like all moments do, has passed. Beel's stomach rumbles and you giggle.

"You should eat your snacks, Beelie.."

"They always taste better when we share." He nods seriously.

House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

Levi or Asmo? You bit your crayon in thought then immediately made a face. Crayons did not taste nice.

Speaking of things that did not taste nice, you remembered that one time you tried to eat Levi's controller because you were bored.

Levi it was!

You had to time this perfectly, waiting in the shadows until Levi went down to get a snack, you snuck into his room, saying the answer to his password out of pure habit, before sitting on his gamer chair and maneuvering it in such a way he would not be able to see anyone on it from the door.

When Levi walked into his room, a bag of crisps in hand, he took a few steps before you swung around "Boo!" and he screamed. Dropping his crisps.

After convincing him you were infact not a ghost (Unlike Lucifer's), you sat with him in your arms, watching anime, and getting caught up on the new episodes released.

You cuddled up to him in his bathtub that night. You grinned evilly. This gave you an idea.

House of Lamentation Mammon LeviSatan Asmo Beel Belphie

It was no secret that Asmo bathed a lot. Funfact, Angels can hold their breath for 30 minutes!

As Asmo was busy picking out which pajamas he wanted to wear after his bath, you tiptoed behind him and slowly got in his bath, hiding under the bubbles.

It took a total of five minutes before Asmo closed the door to his bathroom and got into his bath, this was your chance! Reaching out, you grabbed his foot and pulled him under.

He screeched, when got back above the surface of the water, he grabbed your hand and pulled you over.

He squealed this time, hugging you tightly.

"Oh MC darling!~ I thought you were...well never the matter~...." He punctuated each word by kissing your face all over, leaving you squirming in his grasp out of embarassment. "How naughty!~ Sneaking into my bath like that...~...not that you arent always welcome my lovely!~"

"A-asmo," You say, your clothes soaked, though you couldn't find yourself caring. "Asmo, I love you..." your voice is soft and the Avatar of Lust coos.

It was a nice night.

Time for your final victim. Your First Man. Feeling nice, you decided not to do something too mean.

Painstakingly, you made a trial of grimm from the front door to your First Man's room, more specifically; to his bed. The plan was to hide behind the door and jumpscare him while he was busy collecting the grimm.

Unfortunately for you, seeing as you weren't sure when Mammon got off his modelling shift, you'd finished far too early, and since you and Asmo were up the entire night, you were quite sleepy.

Surely a little 5 minute nap wouldnt hurt?

You woke up hours later to a sobbing Mammon on top of you, cuddling you in his arms like his life depended on it. It seems you'd falled asleep on his bed, more specifically in his nest.

In the nest you would normally sleep in while alive. (While Human technically, seeing as you are alive, just not human.)

You bring a hand to his snowy locks, he sobs harder. Like his brother, kissing all over your face softly, "Thought I lost ye' forever Hum'n" he gasps for air, his sobs quieting down, "Though' you were gone....I prayed ev'ry nigh'...." he says, voice barely above a whisper as he strokes your cheek, looking into your eyes. "I prayed ta Fath'r ev'ry nigh' since ye' died...that he'd bring ye' back te me...."

"And he did..." You say just as softly, bringing your hand up to wipe the tears from his eyes, sharing a soft kiss with him. As always, your greedy lovable bastard would want more, and you'd want nothing more than to give them to him.

And the next day when you told Michael you'd be staying in the Devildom he cheered, then told you to include him in this 'Anti-Lucifer League business' because it 'seemed fun'.

Wow. Now you knew where Satan got it from. Poor Lucifer, he just barely got away from Michael in the Celestial realm, and now he has to deal with Michael 2.0 in the Devildom.

Satan and Michael really were kind of similar....maybe it's a good thing they've only met in passing.

Moral of the story kids. Death sucks, don't do it. If you do do it, reincarnate. Bam! Problem Solved.

This is the longest ever fic I've ever wrote and probably does not make a lot of sense so I apologise for that. I also apologise for any ooc behaviour i'm still learning how to write characterisation😔✊

also i love thinking of Michael being a father figure to Luke and its very obvious

[rapunzelbro]

Comforting Velvette as her S/O.

So tumblr broke, this request was vanished from my profile. So to the anon who requested I’m so sorry I hope you find this The prompts were “I don’t want to be alone right now” and another I forgot. Enjoy!

Masterlist Taglist

It would take forever to establish a relationship with Velvette let's be honest here.

She doesn't want anyone to see her in a vulnerable state, she doesn't want anyone thinking she is weak and needed a partner

That was until she met you, something about you was just different to her.

You were soft spoken, minded your own business but wouldn't stay quiet when someone said something that set you off.

Like to piss you off? Man you'd set whoever pissed you off, straight and they wouldn't speak, or argue with you again.

And your designs were amazing decent.
Velvette rarely had to make any changes when it came to your sketches

And your stitch work? Fucking flawless compared to the others. Who just were you?

She would try to stalk you on social media to find out you had no account, or one she could find, with a little help from Vox she did eventually find it.

It was a completely anonymous account, with a rather decent following Like probably 10k?

Impressive but not compared to Velvette

Your account was hiding your identity by a random username that had no mention of you in the slightest, and no posts that involved photos of you. Just sketches, sheet music photos, and the occasional video of someone singing, which she assumed was you.

But what amused her more than anything, was seeing multiple sketches of her on your page.

You captured her beautifully, didn't make her look bad in any sort of way, it was so simple, but yet so beautiful.

Velvette definitely sereenshotted the sketeh

She never would have thought you admired her outside the work place. Let alone be a fucking singer too? What couldn't you do?

She'd call you into her office the next day and you'd be so fucking anxious that you fucked up somehow as you knocked on the door

"Yeah yeah come in"

You'd take a deep breath calming your nerves down before you went inside, closing the door behind you as you walked to her desk, she was still looking down at her phone

"You wanted to see me Miss?"

The second she heard your voice she looked up from her phone, placing it down and grabbing a piece of paper from the inside of her desk before placing it down

Shit

“Would you care to explain this?"

Your cheeks instantly flared red in embarrassment as you realized just what it was

The sketches of her that you drew

"I..I'm so sorry I promise it won't happen again I just well I-“

"Oh quit your yapping I'm not mad you idiot"

She instantly shuts you down slight irritation on her face, while confusion struck yours as you remained silent

"I'm promoting you to head designer, don't fuck this up. Shoo get back to it"

What the fuck? No literally, what the fuck?

You left as soon as she shooed you away, you were beyond confused as to why she did what she did, but you'd never question her.

Months after the promotion you and Velvette would become closer, considering how the two of you now worked closer together since you directly reported to her now.

Velvette wasn't as harsh as she usually was to you, she listened to your suggestions and took your thoughts seriously.

Velvette would ask you to go to a fashion show with her Saying it was to get another eye on the new trends, but you and her both indirectly knew it was her asking you in a date, which you obvious said yes.

After that point you were would date in private If anyone were to question you two?
They'd be instantly fired on spot or killed. She didn't need anyone peaking into her personal life

Would introduce you to the other Vee's later on

"She is mine don't try and start no fucking deals with her, shes off the market"

If she didn't say that Valentino would have snatched your ass for himself. And man did he want to. Fucking creep

You two often watched tv together in her room in private, or you would sketch her, she absolutely loved that she was your muse. She would always have sketch books and the highest quality of materials.

You stayed with her during the exterminations that happened for your protection too, she wouldn't let you not stay with her if you were killed she'd fucking lose her mind

It's been almost a year since the two of you have been together privately, with the exception of Vox and Val

You'd be working late at the office sewing a new design when you'd get a text from her

"Y/n doll. Can come back to our room whatever you're doing can wait"

"Be there in five"

Oh and you moved in with her. Per her request of course.

You finish up what you were doing before heading back, knocking on the door to your shared room

When you don’t hear a response you grow concerned, as you open the door.

You see Velvette on the bed on your shared bed on her side. She quickly sits up hearing the door open

"Vox I told you to fuck off! Wait Y/n"

Her hard glare softens, she can tell she was crying

"Velv.. are you okay? What happened?"

You quickly made your way over to her

"I don't want to be alone right now, doll"

She simply says before you instantly hug her.
Her returning the hug as you two just sit there, her quietly sobbing as you gently run your fingers through her soft curls, humming gently to her, trying to comfort her the best you can

You two are like that before she pulls away, keeping a hand in yours as you wipe the tears that remained trying your best to not smear her makeup anymore than it already was.

After a while she finally talks about what was causing her pain.

She might not be open to a lot of people

But damn do you help her a lot.

[ihavenothingtodo10220]

Jeong Jungkook NSFW reading

Quick PSA: I'm still going to do all the requests, this post is just kind of a test drive for a new format I want to try since the other really isn't doing it for me. So, yeah. Usual disclaimers to be added.

Position Overview

Many people say Jungkook gives off submissive and breedable boyfriend vibes from his chart, but with Jungkook's Libra Venus being a Cardinal Sign, he likes to be in a position of power in the relationship, or at least likes some kind of aspect of power play. And then with his Scorpio Mars, he definitely likes things to be done his way, playing more into the position of power thing. And then his Virgo Lilith definitely gives me the vibes that he's very playful in all aspects, including the bedroom. Though he's hard to hold onto, and with his heavy Virgo influences in general, leads me to leave he may have some fuckboy tendencies. Playful and hard to hold onto? I dunno.

His Virgo Sun definitely makes it so he'd try anything once, but if he doesn't like it he'll be very vocal about that. He'll also be brutally honest and critical, even in bed. Definitely vocal about thoughts and opinions even if balls deep in you. (Or the other way around who knows? Not me.) But he'll also tell you his needs, how you're doing, etc., etc. He also needs to make sure things are clean and you're clean. In more ways than one. I'm talking he needs to make sure you have recent tests for STDs before even TOUCHING you.

Heavy on his Scorpio Mars, as that indicates he'll have a high sex drive. Most definitely rearing to go almost always, and insatiable in a way though not as much as an Aries Mars would be. Has a lot of intensity and depth sexually. Definitely enjoys power and wants to break a lot of taboos. He's probably willing to do almost anything and enjoys full-body pleasures. On the flip side, he may show his need for control by being unavailable and just not having sex at all for long periods, definitely making you beg for it and giving in only when he thinks you deserve it. Whatever his nature, he will have a way that promises commitment and intensity in bed. He'll be provocative but private, and most definitely will never kiss and tell. Sex is intimate and personal for him, but his fantasies are full-ranging. Out of this world.

With his Libra Venus, he takes a lot of care to please his partners. He needs to make sure he's getting everything right, and giving just as much as he takes despite enjoying servicing you. Definitely into role-play, and most definitely likes learning and improving in the bedroom. Learning new things, changing, and growing sexually? Count him in. He'll definitely be very very picky and particular when it comes to the mood during sex.

Now, he has a Gemini Eros. Very very sexually. He likes to be knowledgeable in sexual matters and is probably turned on by words in all forms, whether written or spoken. Definitely writes letters to the person he's with, and is definitely a fan of sexting and phone sex. Because it is difficult for him to turn his mind off even sex, there is a voyeur within him during sexual expression, and it may be difficult for him to let go. Definitely enjoys talking, and being talked to, during sex. He puts a lot of weight into communications. Definitely a fan of full communication and very clear boundaries and consent during sex. Consent is sexy, especially with him.

So, with his Libra Venus, definitely likes asses. I'm talking about spanking, just squeezing the ass, etc., etc. Asses are the Libra erogenous zone. And with Scorpio? Literally everywhere on his body is sensitive and ripe for the taking. A few touches and caresses here and there will definitely get him going. And then his Virgo Stellium makes his torso especially sensitive. Especially his stomach and waistline. And then his fucking Gemini Eros means he also is sensitive at the arms. Kind of like light touches. Ghosting your fingers up and down his arms is a sure fire way to pique his interest.

His Virgo Mercury definitely means he's very focused in bed. Also very efficient and methodical when it comes to communication with his partner when it comes to sex. Always saying things like "Is this good for you, baby?" "Does this feel good?" "Keep going, just like that..." Essentially, he's going to communicate very straightforwardly, very bluntly, and very efficiently. He's going to make his opinions known, and he's not going to sugar-coat SHIT.

With his Aquarius Jupiter, he definitely can detach when it comes to sex, even though he'd prefer a strong emotional attachment. He can also view sex as a way to help build that emotional relationship and intimacy with someone. In relationships, he will also be prone to using sex as a way to communicate. Having problems? Sex. Basically, expect a lot of makeup sex, angry sex (From arguments), etc., etc.

With his Saturn in Aries I definitely see a lot of impatience. Now, not to say he would just breeze through foreplay and get down and dirty as soon as possible like an Aries Mars would, but that he want to at least start foreplay as soon as possible. Definitely can be very whiney because of it when mixed with his other aspects. This also makes him the type to take risks, especially in the bedroom. Do with that what you will.

House Placements

So, the eighth house represents emotional bonding and intimacy sexually. With his sun and moon in the eighth house, and his sun representing his core personality, sense of self, basic preferences, romantic compatibility, and just in general how he goes about the world, and his sun being in Virgo, this can mean he needs to know people on a much deeper level to be able to be with them sexually. He needs knowledge on them, so definitely more he wouldn't have flings but would have casual friends with benefits. There also needs to be a level of care. His Virgo moon in the eighth house confirms it. There need to be deep, intense emotions in that bond. Also, someone he can understand well.

Aspects

So, with his moon octile Venus he definitely needs a lot of communication, and will both be very vocal and would like a very vocal partner. He also needs someone he's comfortable with. Though...I also feel his purely sexual relationships are superficial and to boost self-esteem, even if he still needs that intimacy in them.

With his Mercury Novile Venus, he's very charming and courteous, including in bed. Definitely still the type to shower you in praise in bed, charm the pants off you and they're already on the damn floor. He also makes sure you're enjoying it too. Especially because it's a Libra Venus and Virgo Mercury. If it's good you'll sure as hell know it's good.

So he has a Venus semi-sextile Venus. Definitely need to watch out for sexual manipulation. What's the masculine version of Femme Fatale? Homme Fatale? THE POINT IS. Just...Watch out. Preferably.

With his Mars sextile Sun, he's definitely into any type of position or opportunity to show off how strong he is. Fucking you while standing? Thigh riding? Fucking you nice and hard? That's that good shit. He's also very competitive so he will MAKE SURE it's good for you. And if it's not? Well, he'll amp it up times one hundred. He's definitely got good stamina, meaning he can go for A WHILE. He also is good at controlling his desires, surprisingly. Mostly because his outwardness and his sexual desires are connected.

And then there's the Mars square Jupiter...Mars square Jupiter natal supplies strength, enthusiasm, courage, and sexual attraction. But he needs an outlet for this high energy. Usually, in the manner of fucking and fucking and fucking. Otherwise, restlessness can build up into aggressive, impulsive, or risky actions. But. this also needs to be safe, with a balance between caution and bravado. Definitely good in bed, I'll tell you that much.

Mercury sextile mars...Mmmm...How do I put this? He's...Fast. Fast as in, fucking jackhammering into you with the speed of the fucking flash and the strength of a battering ram from his other aspects. Definitely feisty. He'll have a fucking TONGUE on him let me tell you. He loves praise, but he'll sure as hell mix in some degradation in there because he can't not. Also seems the type to bully the hell out of you if it's not good. So there's that. Like absolutely demolish you verbally.

Moon conjunct Mercury definitely leads me to believe he's the type who can fall harder for someone during sex. Though again, he wouldn't have sex with someone he doesn't already have an existing emotional attachment to.

With his Sun conjunct Moon, again he has a lot of charisma. But he also has expectations that are high as hell, which is amplified by his Virgo stellium. Definitely expects the most from you in all aspects, including in the bedroom. The sex better be GOOD AS HELL or it won't meet his expectations.

Sun conjunct Mercury AGAIN makes him more dominant. Naturally wants to lead. Also very good with dirty talk, once again.

[radioisntdead]

(To maybe save our hearts from the angst, how about a cuter idea? could be any gender really and be seen as platonic or not just very vague fluffy fun)

A reader who is similar age to Susan and is the opposite type of old person, a gentle Grandparent who has old person candies at all times. Most importantly however is the only one who can calm Susan's feral chihuahua energy, only when they need to of course.

They play cribbage on weekends, and definitely both chat about the youngins- maybe playfully feud on which is better Knit or Crochet

Good evening my dear! This is a little shorter then I wanted but I did write it in a hair salon, where at the time of posting I'm still in.

Bitter and sweet

Warnings!!!

Cannibalism, Reader is GN but gives off old lady grandma vibes, this is written in little drabbles mainly because I wrote them in an hair salon

Susan had a neighbor, she lived to the left of her house, while Susan's house was more stale and strict appearing her neighbor's was more soft colors, with gnomes outside and a lovely garden filled with all types of hell's flora,

You'd think the two would be at odds but they got along well, going out for tea each day, on weekends they'd go to bingo or play a game of cribbage, although they did get into tiffs about what was better between crochet and knitting, like how crochet is easier for some to pick up with the sole hook, or how knitting uses less yarn then crochet, They were dear friends, and this is some tidbits with them.

You and Susan had opposing aesthetics but that didn't stop the two of you from matching outfits in some way or another, she wore her usual pinkish dress? You were two feet away from her in more brighter attire.

"Kids these days are getting more and more foolish each day, fucking crying in the middle of the streets!"

Susan said, sat on a bench looking across the street at some poor cannibal gal sobbing as her dearest assumingly ended things

When you didn't respond she looked over at you only to see that you were gone,

"Where the hell- [Name]!"

You had dashed over to the gal, swatting at her former lover with your handfan, scolding him for breaking things off in the middle of the streets inside of somewhere private or inside a restaurant as the girl sobbed into your arms,

"Shh, it's alright you deserve better, someone with manners!"

You said patting her back, glaring at the unmannered former lover while Susan groaned from her seat, you just had to butt into other people's business didn't you!

Like she didn't do the same at times.

......

"You uncultured, red-40 looking, bad dental hygiene, modern technology radio man!"

Susan raised her cane to the Radio Deer man, you had just entered Rosie's Emporium for a snack,

"Susan! No! That is terribly rude!"

You shouted dashing over quickly before Susan could do anything, pushing down her cane, while apologizing,

"My apologies! I'll escort her out, here buy yourself something tasty"

You said taking the radio demons hand and placing some money and a few pieces of candy into it before linking an arm with Susan and taking her outside while scolding her as she grumbled, leaving the Radio demon lowkey stunned and missing his mother.

You were how he imagined she would've been if she lived to be elderly.

.....

"For fuck's sake! Why are you in my house?"

Susan shouted as she walked into her kitchen only to see you adorned in an old lady apron chopping away at some vegetables while some type of meat simmered on the stove,

"Making us lunch obviously! I have news about that lovely gal we met on the street a few months ago! She's going steady with my nephew, the one with the good job not the one that's married, and I must tell you what her scandalous ex lover had to say-"

You rambled on, mixing up slang from different decades Susan could care less about the gal who was sobbing on the streets but you seemed to hellbent on telling her about the 'tea' as you called it.

.....

"Susie, let's listen to what the princess has to say before booing her off the stage, this is why she called you an old bitch''

You said linking an arm with Susan before shouting over at Charlie as Rosie pulled her aside,

"My apologies!"

You chased down Charlie at a later date to give her some candies for her troubles with Susan,

You paid visits to the hotel after that, bringing treats for the residents.

....

"Knitting is superior, it uses less yarn then your hook, knitting takes far more skill and that little crochet thing seems easier.''

Susan said knitting a scarf as you sat across from her, crocheting a net.

"Susie, you are my dearest friend and I love you, But I can and will surplex you into a wall if you say that again."

Hearing that while you wore the sweetest smile would strike fear into the average sinner.

......

"Are we thinking barbecue? Grilled? Perhaps baked? Oo I recently picked up some new seasonings we could try!"

You shouted over to Susan as you threw a net at an exorcist pulling them down and stabbing them with an angelic weapon before discarding them to the side to harvest their wings later,

"I don't give a donkeys ass as long as they taste good!"

.....

"Susie?"

"Hm?"

"I'm dying again."

"Don't be dramatic!''

She smacked you gently on the head with her cane as you broke out in laughter, angel wing in your hand and gold around your mouth.

Good evening folks! I am actively dangling Susan around like a keychain, I should invest in a Susan keychain, are Susan keychains a thing???

[huntinglove]

How to get away from antiship spaces (mostly)

Warnings: Long post, antis mention, mentions of pedophilia, rape, self harm and gore (none show, not descriptive)

Have you recently learned that you align yourself with the proship label? Would you like to get away from antis as safely as you can? Here's what I've learned, as an ex anti:

1. It may be hard, but try to get rid of/abandon your accounts where you used to interact with antis.

This is one of the hardest steps because having a lot of followers can be discouraging, but it's the safest approach in this situation, because if antis see you following or interacting with proshippers they WILL question you about it and depending on how you tackle their asks they'll throw you to the wolves and publicly "warn" people about you so people can mass report your account/harass you

This applies to anything; Tumblr blogs, Twitter profiles, Discord servers, if you've interacted with antis block them and delete your account if you decide to adopt the proship label

Antis constantly claim that they don't harass people but as soon as someone drops the anti label they dogpile them and call them "traitors" as well as their usual buzzwords to catch people's attention, it's better to pull the plug directly than just rebrand your account

1.5. If you REALLY want to keep your account because you've used it for a long time or because it works as a portfolio, please create a different account to post about proship content

If you make a new account remember to block your anti mutuals/followers from your main account before you start posting, art styles can be very unique and easy to spot similarities in, as well as typing patterns and reoccurring emojis/symbols

If there's the option to, keep your profile private until you've built a steady environment for yourself, if you prefer to keep your profile private permanently that's also a good option!

Remember, your safety matters more than numbers on a screen!

2. This one should go without saying but, please don't share much of your trauma/mental health issues/triggers with people online in general, but especially not with antis

I used to talk about my struggles and vent publicly a lot, antis would stalk my accounts and send me all types of fucked up content.

I've had people send me rape videos and threats, people telling me I deserved the abuse I went through, people would send me gore and self harm images, as well as suicide tutorials.

They can and will use all of it to their advantage, they're restless and will dig up even decade old posts if they feel it'll be useful for them. It can and will take a toll on your mental health, so please save yourself the trouble and only open up with people you genuinely trust and feel safe talking to!

You're not alone, but please don't let dangerous people take advantage of you when you're at a bad spot

3. Keep an eye on your followers, especially if your profiles are public. There are always some things to look out for to make sure your followers aren't antis pretending to be proshippers

According to my personal experience, here's some red flags to look out for:

A.Antis think that the word proship means problematic ship, so they'll refer to pairings as "a proship"

Most proshippers dislike this terminology because it comes from an incorrect definition and usually avoid it

B. TikTok antis specifically come up and use a lot of emoji combos, creating meanings for them and usually adding one or two combos that are actually known to proshippers, along with some never seen before

A lot of the time they use it to identify themselves, a sign that means "I'm not actually a proshipper, just baiting"

I've also seen antis use the clover emoji in combos, inspired by the "clovergender/cloversexual" scam that 4channers came up with, to make it seem like the LGBTQ+ community was welcoming to offending pedophiles. Antis do this because they assimilate the proship label with problematic ships, mostly age gaps/underage content

C. Their account is brand new but they already follow a lot of proshippers. This is usually because they'll follow proshippers who've been posted on a blocklist, usually in the exact order that they've been listed too

If they're on Tumblr, they'll usually keep the people they follow public, so that other antis can find and harass those proshippers

D. Keep an eye on their follow list. Like stated above, they'll usually keep it public and 9 times out of 10 there will be an out of place antiship account, it's most likely their main profile/account/blog

E. They'll use their usual buzzwords on their own posts

For example, if they're trying to mimic a proselfship account they'll post pictures of underage characters and caption it things like "omg i'm such a pedo" and tag their post with proship related tags

Of course this doesn't apply to everyone, so it's always important to take context into consideration, as well as how many of these red flags may apply.

And lastly, please remember that the block button is your friend.

If someone's interacting with you and something about them seems/feels off, block and move on

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Christmas at the Mansion (+ the castle)

I'm posting this now because I leave for a trip for the holidays tomorrow (and I don't know how my schedule will be), although I also have an old holiday scenario queued up for Christmas day :) If you celebrate anything, Happy Holidays, and if not, have a nice end of the year! I'll still be around to answer questions and post quotes and stuff at the very least.

Like with Thanksgiving, first and foremost, Slender is cooking and baking a fuck ton of food. But, he's got a lot more company in the kitchen this time as LJ, Candy, and Jason are all making a whole bunch of candy and cakes and other desserts as it's their time to shine. LJ actually has his own candy-pulling hook, and he makes homemade candy canes for everyone in whatever flavors they might want that year (they usually vote on them and he'll make a few batches), and everyone snacks on them while waiting for dinner to be ready. 

I think they probably do Secret Santa in the mansion because there are just so many of them, and if they want to get an extra gift for specific people they're allowed to do that too, although those gifs are usually exchanged privately, although Slender gets at least one gift for every resident. They all get up early in the morning, and Slender will make a big yummy breakfast with pancakes, homemade cinnamon rolls, and hot chocolate for everyone, and they'll sit around the giant tree and exchange all the Secret Santa gifts. Some years they might do themes, but most of the time they just all try and get something that they think their person will enjoy. After they exchange those gifts, if anyone got an extra gift for specific people they usually pair off and exchange those. 

After the gift exchange, it's Christmas movie time. They'll go into the big living room and they take turns picking Christmas movies to pass the time while Slender is making Christmas dinner. Everyone snuggles up with their hot chocolate and just relaxes, telling jokes and funny stories while they watch Christmas movies they grew up on, and it's fun for the creeps that were/are human to show movies to the demonic residents who haven't seen them yet. For lunch, Slender will usually have Tim prepare some food for everyone, and by that time the candy canes are usually ready so everyone snacks on those as well. 

By the time dinner is ready everyone's excited and rushing into the dining room to have Slender's famous Christmas feast. Slender usually has his brothers and his mom over for Christmas dinner, Toby invites his mom over, and Natalie invites her younger brother. Everyone is happy to be surrounded by the family they love, especially since Mrs. Rogers and Slender's mom always bring extra dishes that taste so fucking good. It's one of the most lively dinners in the mansion because everyone's bantering and sharing stories about each other, and the room always fills with laughter and smiles. I think Slender's mom would probably also get gifts for all of the residents (and the extra guests) too, and she'd share them after dinner was over. After dinner, everyone normally just hangs out and plays video games or board games, especially if someone got a new one for Christmas, and they'll just spend time together laughing and having fun until everyone gets too tired to stay awake anymore.

On the other side of the Underworld, Zalgo also tries to have a Christmas for his employees as well. He and the best cooks of his employees will prepare a gigantic, lavish feast for all of the workers that reside in the castle, and they'll all eat together in the large dining room in the castle meant to fit all of them. Zalgo also takes care to provide a gift for all of his employees, and while he has well close to 100 including his castle and the employees of his assassination company, he makes sure to get them a gift they'll honestly enjoy. Of course, they always get him gifts as well, even if he tells them that he doesn't need them, but the blush and shy smile on his face at their generosity makes it worth it for them to do so. Zalgo will have to return to some work eventually, but he does his best to provide a good holiday to his workers, as he feels they deserve it for all of the hard work that they do.

[strawberrys-starship]

Ok so, I'm gonna warn you straight out the gate that this whole post is about a/b/o and the omegaverse, so if you don't like that scroll on 👍🏻

But basically I got thinking about how the omegaverse might add a whole new layer to queer identities and then I wrote all this! If you have something you'd like to add or comment on then feel free

(This also mentions sex and sexuality so beware I suppose)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

So I'm reading an a/b/o fic, as one does, and it got me thinking about how the a/b/o dynamic would affect the real world

So in this fic, basically as soon as the main pairing realized that they were an alpha and an omega, they like immediately start fucking. Like I'm not even joking they barely get into a private room and everything

And I was reading it and asking myself how realistic this would be if the omegaverse actually existed

And like, I know, its absolutely pointless to question the realism of a/b/o, because realism is not why it exists in the slightest, but it got me thinking anyway

So I very quickly came to the conclusion that no, obviously if the omegaverse existed not every single compatible omega and alpha would just immediately fuck eachother, just like how not every single compatible man and woman immediately fuck eachother

And then that got me thinking about how omegaverse sexuality works, just like, in general

Because from what I've seen and personally choose to believe, the omegaverse is kinda just an extra gender binary, right? Like it has a biological component, but also there's a larger social one on top of it. So is the omegaverse basically a new layer in the whole gender/sexuality cake? Are there specific labels for which a/b/o gender you're attracted to or identify as? Or is your secondary gender strictly a biological thing that doesn't branch into gender and sexuality?

What about ace people? How are they affected by it? What happens when a sex repulsed ace omega goes into heat? Does it give them a sex drive, or just make them run a high fever and nothing else? And the same things with ace alphas, do they just get a lot of morning wood and nothing else?

How do aro people navigate all this? Personally I like to think that the mating bites aren't inherently romantic or even sexual (and also don't have to be given during heats or ruts) so I imagine there's quite a lot of platonic bonds between people, like how some real aro people get married without any romantic intentions behind it. I imagine it's hard to navigate the world as an allosexual aro person too, seeing as in most cases, mating bites are seen as like, the ultimate goal when spending your heat or rut with someone, so trying to find safe avenues to actually deal with heats and ruts must be extremely difficult.

Rounding back to the whole labels thing, I'm wondering how specific they'd be, y'know? Like say you're a cis man, and also an omega, and you're only attracted to other omega men, how limiting or feasible is that as a concept? How many other omega men are also attracted to omega men, is it looked down upon? Does it even matter in this specific omegaverse society?

What about gender? Are there people who are say, a cis woman but a trans alpha? What about betas, are they the a/b/o equivalent of a nonbinary person? Personally I like to think of betas as basically the a/b/o intersex label (not an idea originally created by me, I'll say here) where they can show traits from both alphas and omegas in varying levels of intensity (which means that they often falsely present as one or the other, and usually that person doesn't know they're a beta till they get a medical examination or something similar)

But if that is the case and betas are just omegaverse intersex, then can there be trans betas? Obviously in real life, intersex is a medical thing not a gender identity and therefore you can't transition to become intersex, but we're working in the lawless land of omegaverse so who knows what's going on.

I think for my personal omegaverse headcanon, betas are intersex people and you can't transition to be a beta

Circling back again, what about the a/b/o equivalent of non binary and gender queer identities? Are there people who just don't identify or fall into the boxes of 'alpha' and 'omega' as gender identities? What would this be like for them? What would transitioning look like?

And again, this is all said in the assumption that the real life gender binary still exists, so could you be a cis person but be basically omegaverse nonbinary too? What would social transition look like? Because all the social hierarchy I've ever seen for a/b/o is based off of being able to smell someone's scent, right? So would a a/b/o nonbinary persons (I'm gonna start calling them gammas so I don't have to type that all out) goal if they decide to medically transition to be to get their scent as neutral as possible?

Would there be any social transition for a gamma person at all? Beyond how someone might be treated for their secondary gender, there's not a whole lot of so called 'gendered' language when it comes to a/b/o. Someone might refer to you by your secondary gender, but there's no pronouns or gendered names and terms related to it. So would you just be occasionally correcting people when they refer to you as an alpha or omega?

Also, what would just a general transition between one secondary gender to another look like? Like say you're an alpha who experiences gender dysphoria related to your secondary gender strong enough that you decide you want to take medical steps to change it. What would change with just hormones, what would need surgery? I imagine that your scent as well as scent glands would all change with hormones, but what about an alphas knot? Would you stop being able to knot once you started hormones, or not?

This also has the problem of an alphas and omegas general anatomy changing based on their biological sex too. Like, would a cis woman who was born an alpha but then later realized she was actually an omega need surgery to remove any alpha parts? (I still haven't decided what exactly a female alpha would have tbh)

How does all of this change if your just a regular trans person too? What would being a trans man who's also a trans omega look like and be like?

So many questions, so little time...

Ok, I think that's enough of pondering the orb for me...

[cyaneyedcl]

fandom culture rant

tldr; dont go shitting on people's works just bcs u didnt like it, thats some disgusting asshole behavior, fuck u if u do so.

and pls show your fanfic writers lots of appreciation, they are the biggest backbone in most fandoms, they deserve nothing but love.

there's something so insane and illogical when it comes to the people that read fanfics (which have clear explicit and alternative universe tags) and proceed to complain about how these had — surprise, suprise! sexual content and scenarios/personalities that weren't an exact copy of the ones in the source media.

and usually one would want to believe people will keep their opinions to themselves or rant about it in a private space with close friend(s), because that's the bare minimum one can do to show some respect towards a writer that shared their fanwork for free.

but recently, that's not been the case.

bcs now there's this new trend going around (specifically in tiktok, to the surprise of nobody) where people publish videos talking about how a certain fanfic was — and i quote — "incredibily ooc", "genuinely weird", "overrated", "poorly written", "a freak fest".

and this type of behavior wouldn't be so shocking (even tho is not ok) if it was coming from one random person in the internet, but because this is happening in tiktok (which is a well-known platform for having the biggest audience reach when it comes to social media apps) the hate is extremely amplified.

when i tell u the amount of hate these tiktoks gather is insane, i mean i've seen them surpass the 3,000+ comments (which is more than half of the comments the fanfic has). and most of these consist of people sharing their even more aggressive opinions about the fanfic, or even saying how "this other fanfic is better".

it honestly mind blows me every time i see this happening, because — or at least in my experience — there's always been this unsaid rule (even though i'd dare to say it's more of a sense of logic) in fandom spaces where everybody knows that if you didn't like the work of a fan, you close the tab and move on with your day. because, what do you gain for belittling the efforts/hard-work someone put in something that won't change the source media, or ur life?

and if you are one of those bystanders that applies the whole "people need to learn to take criticism" to this situation then u are wrong. no debates. because,

in this case, this so-called criticism it's just a sugar-coat for hateful comments.

that is NOT how criticism works, not when the author didn't ask for any feedback what-so-ever and even less when we are talking about a story that nobody pays for to consume it.

it's baffling to see readers develop this liberty that makes them think it's ok to say whatever they feel like saying about fandom works, without taking in consideration that behind every fanfic, fanart, music, skit, etc. there's a person that probably felt proud of their work and is happy about creating something.

also, i feel in the need to clear out that even though i'm talking about a specific fanfic in this post (which is in the tags in case u haven't figured it out yet), it's definitely not the only one that's received this treatment. i've seen it happen in the kpop, danmei, and harry potter side too, specially in marauders.

i believe this behavior is due to a shift in fandom culture that started because of covid, but that's like, a whole other rant post for another day.

[sumikatt]

[Video ID: Time-lapse of me drawing the above image]

it's really not nice to say this to anyone, even if you thought they were using AI. I know my art looks bad but only I can say that !!! 😤

I was also gonna humor you by showing you a speedpaint/time-lapse i made from 2016 where it would be impossible for me to use AI, but i don't want to take it off private because it's super personal and somewhat embarrassing (made it when i was in high school). Here's a screenshot instead.

You can find this character in my "my art" tag, he's one of my hockey OCs. You can see posts from 2017 in there.

So yes, I can draw and paint things myself, without the aid of AI generation, but even then… I don't think I'm "better" "more authentic" or "more ethical" than other people who use AI to make visual art. Just different. I don't think effort or time invested is a valid way of judging art. A marble statue that took years to make isn't "better" than a sketchy concept environment that took 2 hours, they're just different. Isn't it great that art and self-expression can take such different and diverse forms?? It's fucking wonderful and I'm sad that people are always clutching their pearls about new art forms. You know how many of my own relatives in 2012 thought I was "cheating" as an artist because I used a computer???

I stand by my opinions on AI: namely that most people that oppose it don't know how it actually works, are usually being reactionary weirdos, and are supporting stricter copyright laws that will only hurt artists in the long run. Also, I was wishy-washy about it before (especially in my first posts about AI) but I think AI image generation constitutes fair use, and that prompters are artists (yes, even the ones who only generate "anime woman large breasts swimsuit 4k").

[valkyrie-rolls]

Introducing 'Character 1', AKA Luck Truelove

Narrator: Oh, you guys want to know about 'Character 1'? He's probably my favorite out of all 4 of the options you had. Yes, I'm pretty fucking biased, but at least my profiles are mostly facts rather than more subjective things.

( ^ Credit for the image used - Check out this picrew guys, it's legitimately amazing.)

(Warning! Long post below!)

Name: Luck Truelove

Age: 295, though this depends on the universe. In most, he's either a vampire, cursed, or a shapeshifting blood dragon.

Pronouns: He/Him Sexuality: Bisexual with a preference for men.

Current Occupation: Private Practice Doctor/Healer (Several specialties.)

Previous Occupations: Military/Royal Guard. Construction before that.

Powers/Magical Abilities: In most instances, he has the ability to sense heartbeats, as well as (sometimes erratic) control over a person or creature's blood upon physical touch, including his own. He gained this ability in different ways, depending on the world. > Vampire? He gained the ability shortly after his late wife died, when he was turned. > Cursed? He gained that ability when either: -> He got the bad end of a desperate deal with a fae to try to save his late wife's life. -> He was gifted the ability by a deity of affection or devotion. > Blood Dragon? He had that ability from birth. -> In this AU, when in dragon form, he can only sense heartbeats with this ability, due to the limited touch one can get through layers of scales. -> However, when in a humanoid form, he can use the full extent of his abilities. These abilities came with a sharp learning curve, as well as limits. > He cannot make his abilities work through thick fabric (or any material leather or thicker.) -> Skin to skin touch yields the most precise results -> Example: If he's attempting to help slow a bad wound's bleeding or correct internal bleeding, he needs to directly touch the person or creature he's trying to manipulate the blood of. > High emotions, such as stress or fear, make this ability harder to control. -> Example: If he's angry for any reason, he often slides on leather gloves, so he doesn't accidentally make anyone's heart skip a beat. Or stop working all together. He has gotten much better at keeping his emotions in check through time, but he can never be too careful. > He has learned over the years the precise blood pressure needed to make a person pass out while causing them minimal heart problems. Other Facts: > This 295-year-old man could burn water, and would accidentally set his house on fire making toast. He usually eats out. > Luck has a journaling habit. He writes at least half a page of a self-insert smutfic each night before bed. He keeps all of the pages since he first started the habit, grouped in file folders and sorted by month and year, with color coded sticky tabs for what particular smut he wrote on a given page. > He lives in a mansion that he built, with very little help, for his late wife. The process of building it initially took roughly 5 years. -> What was going to be her sewing room now lies mostly untouched, but for a very careful and respectful dusting and upkeep every two weeks... or a comforting place when he needs to clear his mind, and get a new perspective on his troubles. -> His house is LINED with bookshelves. Mostly romance, or nonfiction medical-related books. Except for those that contain his self-written smut collection. > Even in his much younger years (In realistic/historical fiction AUs), he often read independent authors, especially any of them making LGBTQ+ or otherwise diverse content. He would help them at least get their books written and in a physical book form, even when no one would publish. He keeps the author's names and "About Me's" written down, so that even after their lifetimes have passed, their works can be immortalized.

[chevvy-yates]

Long post. thoughts post.

So, yesterday I went to a goodbye party my neighbor (also former colleague) gave bc she moves into another city.

I knew from the beginning I'll be probably the person that stands out the most just by my hair and clothing style (as I always wear something not causal when I get out and it's not for biking/groceries) but also be the one who knows only my neighbor and some faces I remembered from a past party she gave years ago.

It was a nice evening but still I wasn't able to shake the feeling that I felt alien there. I mean I talked with maybe 12 out of the 20 people there, the music was relatively okay for my taste as it had techno (but the more funny ones).

With two or three I had maybe a chatter lasting even 20 minutes? But idk I just think it happened because 1-2 of them were just curious who I am. Like my neighbors new boyfrined only knew me by name before and he said something like "So you are that phantom she always talked about" – yes I am that. Exactly right. Look at me Brudi, I wear black, I look different, I'm the overdressed phantom hiiiii! I even said to him, I like the description bc it truly is how I must appear to a lot of people. Anyway and whenever I come up with the topic Japan they want to hear something. It's lways like that. But after that? nothing.

However most time I noticed I spent with rather listening to chatter around me and watching them play beer pong. The version they played was named rage cage and way too stressful for me to try it myself – beside that I didn't want to be the one who has to constantly drink bc I fail at this and I don't enjoy to get myself drunk anymore. Or at least not with people around me I don't really know (besides I dislike the feeling next morning so yeah).

Let's circle back to just watching and listening: Around 1am I felt like, okay no one is actually making a move to talk with me anymore and I cannot find a gap to integrate myself into it somehow. So I just sat around "wie bestellt und nicht abgeholt" and the flat was empty except a beer bank and I was getting tired too (didn't really slept the night before either) so I decided to go home.

I keep telling myself that this evening was alright and I think it really was – after all my neighbor was truly happy I came. But I knew it would turn out for me like that even if I tried talking with people. And here is now me again thinking if I'm just too weird for people just by my looks alone.

Also a very German thing is, that if you have your little-big friend circle and go to parties or bigger meet-ups you tend to stay in that circle and others who do not belong to it usually don't get in. And I as a German srsly do not like that. I witnessed this at the techno event I went to with Glory. Almost no one opens up for getting to know new people. You come as a group, party as a group, go home as a group. I don't say that all Germans are like that but majority definitely is.

And here is me wanting to connect as I am tired of sitting around at home nearly every weekend but how shall I connect with people if it is so hard to get them into a chatter? I cannot say from myself I'm someone who just gos and says hello I want to talk to you. I have no problem talking with strangers but I don't want to be annoying is all so I prefer if others make the first approach if I cannot make out it's okay to approach them but fucking Germans aren't as open as eg. Americans (the amount of people talking with me while my 12-days US vacation was the entire opposite.)

See I don't need to get to be friends with you in the end, I just want to like to fucking talk with someone and not just sit around like a douchbag on a private party like that. bc then I can spent my time with better things instead. The techno event a bunch of weeks back was different, I came there not to talk but to dance, if chatter would happen no problem with that. But I paid for listening djs playing sick beats live so I prefer to dance instead of talking.

I don't really know how to make friends around here to be honest. Sometimes I feel so alien I wish myself I would just be the standard normal type of human being with a causal style, preferably one human type that doesn't have 12343 thoughts and overthinks everything as I've learned those people exist and I envy them. They must walk around so carefree.

[silvyysthings]

Film updates on Twitter just posted timmy and the Jenner girl at beyonces concert looking cozy while he’s smoking. Their together and nothing about this has ever been one sided. After months of his fans saying she’s a stalker , this is all Kris orchestrated and his name was supposedly being dragged with a huge loss of thousands of followers per day on his IG which mysteriously are put back the next day? All the stories were from both teams not just hers. All the PR games, the orchestrated driveway photos, Cannes rumor, taco dates, soccer games, airplane hangars, Italy, birthday yacht, big foot photos, private jets, hickey gate etc he doesn’t care and is doubling down and all in. What a joke. All the dmoix leaks were from both teams. So dmoix source was right and he was with her on her birthday in Dominican Republic or Antigua during the SAG strike which he remains silent on and is yet to support? Also PR person on Reddit said word is his team removed the Vogue article not hers. There is no gun to his head. This is him. His choice. Good luck dude. Fucking Circus. He has shit to sell and her new season starts Sep 28th. Say hello to Timmy 2.0. Mr I don’t give a fuck what the fans think and will date whoever I want and do staged sponsored pap walks as long as the cheque clears. No thanks. Cue the mountain of excuses fans are about to make about how this nearly 28 year old multi millionaire intellectual with his six star lifestyle, private jets and projects coming out of everywhere is being forced against his will to do this charade by Sleazy Homophobic Hollywood and the big bad media loving over exposed kardashians in 3…2..1. Maybe look at the video closer. Does he look stressed? He’s laughing and knows the fans will all fall back in line after they vent angrily after a day or two as always. Excuses. Excuses. Don’t worry obviously the Chanel movie is about to drop to distract everyone with his hotness. Isn’t that the pattern? Right after her new Acne Campaign this weekend. Coordinated as usual. True love. Let the excuses begin.

I understand your anger, believe me but for me there is a basic problem in thinking that he should behave or live as the fans want for him, I don't like the people he goes out with, I don't know them (and for what I know I DON'T LIKE THEM to clarify )but in general and I'm not just referring to Tim to think that the actor we love has to necessarily follow the guidelines of how the fans would like him seems crazy to me

[the-invisible-queer]

so do you have post-JONAS headcanons for Joe Lucas as well? And Stella, unless she gets her own post.

Joella is a packaged DEAL

My first ship who I still very much ship with my whole HEART

LET'S FUCKING GO

It got so fucking long I'm sorry.

After high school Stella and Joe both considered college. She went to a fashion school in New York. He followed her to New York and went to school for music.

They very much were on board with getting married and spending their life together. They are soulmates after all.

Joe proposed during a private little date night in their apartment. Off brand for his usual over the top flashiness but he wanted it to be just them.

Stella considered designing her own dress but ended up getting a custom one of a kind offer from Vera Wang that she was not going to turn down.

They did end up having an over the top huge wedding covered by People magazine.

She took the Lucas name legally but kept Malone professionally.

After getting married Stella started her own fashion company. Starting off designing for Joe and her in-laws as she already did, but then more people started wearing her label and she became well known.

Everything she designed for the Lucases were one of a kind custom for them specifically because old habits die hard and she'll be damned if her arm candy isn't the best dressed man at every event.

After the Jonas hiatus, Joe worked on his solo career. Releasing a few singles. He didn't release his first solo album til after he was married and it was full of love songs dedicated to his best friend and the love of his life.

They both traveled a lot for their respective careers. Sometimes they'd be away from each other but even if they were on opposite sides of the globe they never missed a phone call.

They also traveled the world together for fun and don't go a week without seeing each other even if one of them has to take the worst possible flight to make it to wherever the other is.

Joe never missed NY fashion week because he knew that was her time to shine and always planned around it. Making sure to never have a show or release anything during.

They have homes in NYC, France, LA, and they stayed at Kev's ranch in Texas while his family was in Ireland.

With their busy hectic schedules they waited to have kids. Plus they adored their neices and nephews and loved that they always got to give the rascals back at the end of the day.

Joe was never a cat person until Stella adopted a stray named Jet.

After the Jonas reunion tour, they had their daughter, Ally. With a face like her mother's of course she had her father wrapped around her finger since day one.

After starting their family, they both slowed down for the first time and actually enjoyed domesticity for a bit.

Joe released another solo album and they had a set of twins, Tommy and Jimmy - named after their dad's.

Then after another solo album and baby #4, Maggie, Joe hung up his tambourine and became a full time dad and part time arm candy with occasional appearances when Jonas would release a new single or two.

Stella continued building her fashion empire.

And they were happy.