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mockerycrow · 11 months

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Frozen Fingertips [2/2] (Ghost x GN!Reader)

ghost masterlist - part one

Summary: Ghost struggles to keep you alive through these harsh times.

A/N: I’m so glad you guys enjoyed part one!! i did not shrink the font of this one because i realized that it may strain some peoples’ eyes. this is not as angsty as i wished it to be, and it isn’t as long as i hoped. i apologize. tbh i don’t like this, but i hope y’all enjoy

[WARNINGS: Descriptions of developing hypothermia and frost bite, delirium, near-death experience(s), angst to fluff.]

THE BLIZZARD WAS not stopping and it didn’t show signs of stopping any time soon, which honestly terrifies Ghost because of your awful condition. Despite his previous efforts, you quickly slipped back into a delirious state of developing hypothermia—a state you weren’t completely aware of, but you knew something was wrong. You could vaguely acknowledge the way that you were fading in and out wasn’t normal, but it wasn’t like you could do anything about it. What you hated was the painful tingling and the weird.. harsh cold entering your lungs every time you took a deep breath. You’re so warm, yet your lungs burn cold.

You only saw times in glimpses—what you thought was likely a matter of hours, expanded across a matter of a few days. The harsh blizzard was unwavering, it’s snow falling from the sky harshly messing with the radio signals. Ghost would sit by the window with his personal radio on his vest, along with the emergency signal radio he had stowed in his pack. He would get small glimpses of other peoples voices—Price’s would come through occasionally, luckily long enough for Ghost to update him about their situation and their whereabouts, your condition; but Ghost was never able to provide an update about an exact location. The windows were frosted over and even when they weren’t, all Ghost saw was endless snow and pine trees far as the eye can see, until they eventually faded from view due to the snow coverage. Every time Ghost suddenly becomes aware of his breath, he can’t help but glance over at you; wrapped up in two sleeping bags, sitting way too close to the fireplace—sometimes shuddering, and sometimes.. not moving at all. His heart drops to his stomach when he doesn’t see your breath in the air. He calls your name loudly, firm and demanding and when you don’t answer, he scrambles from his position by the window. “Fuck,” He utters. “Fuck!”

Ghost ignores the pain in his knees when they harshly bash against the ground as he kneels next to you. He grabs your face by your cheeks, startled by the hue of blue on your lips. “Bloody bell—wake up!” Ghost snarls, somehow managing to keep his voice steady. He holds his breath until he sees your chest slowly yet shakily rise—and then you exhale very slowly, and clearly with amounts of trouble. Relief floods Ghost’s veins, but it’s quickly replaced by frustration and panic. You gasp quietly before you begin to shiver uncontrollably again, and taking Ghost completely by surprise; you open your eyes. Your eyes are glazed over, your eyelids puffy. “[Name]?” Ghost questions, his eyes staring hard into yours, silently noting your dialed pupils. “[Name], can you hear me?” If you do, you don’t make coherent indication. Your tongue darts out and wets your lips before you croak out, “I gotta pee.” Ghost huffs and shakes his head, his hand shooting up and laying on your chest—which is covered by many thicker layers, so disregarding Ghost’s hand, it’s not very likely you could’ve gotten up without help, anyway. “You went an hour ago, yeah? You need to stay layin’ down.” You groan and despite your arms being tucked into your multiple covers, something moves against the fabric as if to swat Ghost’s hand away. Ghost can’t help but swallow nervously; he isn’t stupid, he’s aware you’re in one of the stages of hypothermia, he told Price as much. He’s been able to keep the frostbite at bay, but he’s running out of firewood. It’s snowing way too damn hard for him to even pick up stray logs and sticks laying around. Your slowed heartrate, increased urge to urinate, slow cognitive functions, slurred speech, cold skin—blue lips..

It’s not looking good and Ghost doesn’t want to think about that, but that’s all he can see of you right now, so how could he not? And it’s hard both mentally and physically to stay in this cabin, seeing you deteriorate while he himself is getting absolutely fucking freezing. Ghost has had to shed a layer or two just to keep you alive. He can’t deny the way the cold air is scratching at his skin, seeping through his balaclava and into his jaw, nearly making his bones hurt. Ghost clenches his teeth as he shudders for a moment, eyes fluttering closed just long enough to gain his composure. Fuck. Ghost doesn’t want to die here. He doesn’t want you to die here, not like this. Not in a run-down abandoned cabin with shitty insulation, where frostbite is nipping at your fingers and where the cold is finally getting to Ghost’s head. He grits his teeth and sits back on his ass normally with a gloved hand to his head, his vision absolutely swimming. “Stop it,” He grunts quietly. “Hafta stay up.” Ghost takes a deep breath and grunts as he pushes himself to his feet, his boots booming against the wooden floor as he walks over to the area where the firewood is kept. He grabs a few of the pre-cut logs and he makes his way over to you and the fireplace, tossing the logs into the ashes, slowly refueling the dying embers. Ghost sniffles a little under his mask as he grabs a piece of paper and takes out a lighter, lighting it on fire before quickly tossing it into the fireplace to make a better fuel source. He crouches near the growing fire, taking his spot by your feet. Ghost sucks in a shuddering breath and rubs his upper arms, and he can’t help but take another glance at you. You stopped trying to get out of your warm enclosure of blankets, but your eyes were darting around the room slowly, unfocused and hazy.

Ghost’s chest clenches for a moment and he walks back over to your shivering form, and he already did it, but he presses his fingers against your lukewarm skin—nearly cold. Your eyes flutter again and then they vaguely glance in the direction that you think he’s in; which you’re almost right, but a few inches off. You try to speak but a quiet choked noise leaves you, your breathing shaky—finally from fear this time. Ghost puts his finger to his mask in a shushing motion, trying his best to keep you calm. “You’ll be alright, yeah? Gotta wait until the storm’s done brewing out there.” He attempts to reassure your delirious brain, but you can only make another “out of it” noise before your eyes flutter shut once again, you losing consciousness. Ghost feels an ugly and dreadful feeling deep in his gut, scratching at his veins, climbing them until his fingertips are cold both due to the temperature and panic. Ghost has always insisted he doesn’t panic, and he hasn’t—until now. Not until he fears the storm won’t pass over and help won’t arrive until you’re frozen and stiff under your fear, despite his desperate attempts to keep you warm—and alive. Ghost doesn’t want to admit it, but fuck, he’s terrified to fall asleep because out of the two of you, what if he’s the only one who wakes up?

Ghost’s eyelids flutter for a moment before he inhales in a sharp manner and his spine straightens up, his hands clenching together for a moment. “M’not going to fall asleep.” He mutters to himself as he takes his place next to you on the floor and holy hell, the floor is cold—so he silently scoots closer to you and wraps an arm around your body, and Ghost uses his other arm as a pillow. Your chest very slowly rises and falls, and he finds comfort in the sight of a sign of you being alive—you’re still here with him, and that’s all he needs.

Ghost is awoken from a banging on the cabin door. He jolts ever so slightly, but he’s immediately hit with chills, his limbs trembling. Fuck, he fell asleep. His eyelids feel like sandbags and and he can’t stop fucking shaking—and he feels so heavy.. so tired. “Ghost!” A familiar voice yells outside of the cabin. His arm wraps around your form tighter when he doesn’t immediately recognize the British accent behind the door, he grunts as he clumsily sits up and pulls you closer, his trembling hand grasping as his hip, taking out his service pistol. The door opens as he attempts to aim it, his weak and low voice hissing out, “I’ll blow your fuckin’ brains out—“

“Ghost, it’s Price. We found you. Put the gun down.”

Ghost blinks slowly as he looks at the figure who slowly approaches, two others trailing behind—and it is Price—with Gaz and Soap. Ghost sharply inhaled and his arm lowers, the pistol slipping out of his grip. Gaz rushes over to him and your limp form, taking off his gloves. “We got you, Ghost. We got you.” Price assures, but his lips are pressed together as he watches Gaz. Ghost’s head rolls back for a moment, blacking out for a few seconds—Soap’s hands catching his head before it hits the floor. “They’re alive,” Gaz grunts out, leaning down to pick you up bridal style while keeping all of the layers around your body. “Barely, but we gotta get ‘em both to warmth. Now.”

When Ghost finally comes to, the first thing he notices is the smell—it doesn’t smell like rotting and burning wood; his lungs don’t burn with every breath and he can keep his fingers. The second thing he notices is the ache within his throat and his limbs, and the third thing he notices is that he is not wearing his mask. He still feels heavy, but it’s not the kind of heavy where you want to sleep forever heavy. It’s a.. comforting heavy. Someone laying on top of him heavy. It takes him a hot second to open his eyes, and another second to adjust to the harsh lights of the hospital room—oh, wait, they’re not that bad, his head just hurts. Ghost notices someone laying their head on the bed on top of Ghost, their arms under their head as a cushion. He blinks blearily as he doesn’t register it at first; the hospital gown, two IV drips for two separate patients, and the bandages covering your fingers—it’s you. His eyes widen and he lets out a quiet noise, causing you to lift your head up immediately and look at him with the most vulnerable look you could ever have, your eyes wide and bulging like when a child doesn’t know whether to believe the adult in front of them. “Ghost?” You ask, and fuck, your throat croaks. Your vocal cords sound like they’ve been torn apart and reattached, croaking with relief and pain. He swallows thickly and he nods for a moment, unable to find his voice. Your eyes soften for a moment before you whisper to him. “Hurts to talk, huh? Me too.”

Then don’t, said his silent gaze. Yet, somehow, you manage to catch on his memo. Wordlessly, you reach up to one of his hands—covered in scars and calluses, but you don’t mind. Your hands are similar as you nervously glance at him, grabbing his wrist and turning it over so his palm faces up. Ghost eyes your movements, but makes no move to stop you. You take one of your pointer fingers—the one that isn’t bandaged—and you trace letters into his hand slowly.

T H A N K Y O U

Ghost meets your gaze, and you have tears in your eyes. His hand is grossly limp as he grabs the hand you were moving away, and he instead pulls your hand closer to his face for a closer inspection. The bandages concern him, so he looks at you again. You reach for the clipboard you left by his feet and you place it in his lap, pointing to the part of the medical report about your frostbite blisters. Ghost inhales deeply for a moment before his fingers tap against your hand—rhythmically? Oh, it’s morse code.

Ghost is tapping SAFE over and over while looking at you, to reassure himself—and you. You nod in response and offer him the smile he’s been waiting to see and you tap back to him, SAFE.

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 7 months

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you are somebody that i want to keep ; satoru gojo

synopsis; you aren't sure what you have with satoru gojo, but you know that it’s good.

word count; 6.7k

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, colleagues to friends to something unlabelled, you love each other though!!, fluff, hurt/comfort, very very soft, reader falls first but gojo falls harder, both of u are afraid of intimacy lol, a lil angsty if u squint, satoru gojo cherishing u for ~7k words straight <33

a/n; basically just a collection of moments between you and gojo throughout the years <33 (a significant amount of time has passed between each part!!) hes an emotionally repressed loser but i love him and he is smitten w u.

in the soft luminescence of daybreak, your kitchen looks something like a dream.

tainted with a hazy sunshine, simmering with warm colours and pleasant scents, it almost seems to sparkle in the peripheral of your vision. brimming with that feeling of home, a home you’ve broken your bones building, desperate to shape it into something safe — and you think you’ve done a pretty good job.

it’s soothing, comforting, all of these sensations. bleeding into each other like smudges of paint on a canvas; hyacinths blooming by the windowsill, espresso-flavored steam wafting up to the roof, soft meows stemming from the cats by your feet. absolute bliss.

indulging in a peace yet to be shattered by the strain of the working world, you rub the sleep from beneath your weary eyes. blinking and yawning like a drowsy child.

beyond the translucent glass of your windows, glimmering with the light of a sun soon to rise, the world is painted pink and indigo — save for that one hint of gold, a streak of honey slathered across the surface of the sky. fluffy clouds drift through the chilly air, melting in the wake of a new day, and you think they look a little like tufts of cotton candy. soft enough to sink your teeth into, if only the glass wasn’t in the way. keeping the cold out.

it’s a new day. a pleasant morning, sitting comfortably on the brink of dawn, before the city has a chance to rouse from its slumber.

a kind of solitude you so rarely get to bask in.

a false solitude, really. because, for once, there’s another human being in your home — one you don’t know nearly as well as you’d like, for him to be fast asleep on your couch, cheek smushed against the leather. snoring softly.

satoru gojo.

like this, he looks very… human. vulnerable. hair just slightly tousled, from tossing and turning on your not-so-comfortable couch, blindfold only covering one of his eyes and close to slipping off entirely. his expression has melted into one of something vaguely resembling relaxation, as close to unguarded as you assume he can physically get.

even in his sleep, he looks a little stiff. not entirely at peace; like a stray cat sleeping under the hood of a car.

(you’re curious. fascinated, maybe, by the loneliness that clings to the strongest person in the universe. by the paradoxical innocence of his grin.)

honestly, everything from last night is kind of a blur. you remember accompanying the strongest sorcerer on a mission, one long enough to leave you completely and utterly spent, fatigue nestled deep into your bones. remember gojo getting a sudden migraine, so earth-shattering that you thought he was going to keel over and throw up in the middle of the street.

then you remember bringing him back home with you. very hesitantly, only after he begrudgingly accepted the fact that he didn’t have much of a choice. because you were fucking exhausted, and so was he, and your apartment happened to be conveniently close. you remember him practically passing out on your couch, still somehow managing to crack a bad joke you can’t recall, while you went to collapse into the comfort of your bed.

and now you’re here. dyed in half-transparent sunbeams, caffeine bubbling in your veins, gazing at your sleeping coworker from your spot by the kitchen table. waiting for the world to open its weary eyes.

it’s still early. some part of you expects him to sleep a while longer, but you can’t say you’re particularly surprised when gojo begins to stir.

a splotch of sunshine splatters across your living room window, staining the floorboards, falling over the contours of his pretty face. in the light, he looks positively holy; white lashes, pale skin, plump lips. like a goddess.

when he opens his eyes, it’s even worse. a single iris cracked open, pooling with unbridled brilliance. eyes so blue they seem to cut through the stillness of the air.

(— and the world wakes up.)

a little groan slips from his lips, barely audible. with groggy movements, he brings a hand up to his face, obscuring the grating light of the sun flitting in. you think you can almost see the gears of his mind turn, as he takes notice of his surroundings, remembering what transpired just hours before.

faster than you thought, he regains some semblance of composure. huffing under his breath, as he forces himself into a sitting position.

it feels a little wrong, to see the closest thing this world has to a god act so human. be so human. morning-fatigued, just like you, wearing droopy eyelids and a soft, sleepy pout. a little disheveled. groggy with lost dreams.

when his gaze meets yours, you can’t control the breath that hitches pitifully in the back of your throat. a meek skip of your heartbeat, like you just saw something you shouldn’t have. oops.

gojo cracks a grin.

“.. watchin’ me sleep?” he calls out, cheeky. paired with a drowsy yawn. composed, unbothered, but there’s something almost performative about it, something you’re sure you’d miss if he wasn’t still in the process of collecting himself.

“good morning,” is all you offer him. ignoring his teasing remark. he doesn’t push it, to your surprise. “sleep well?”

a hum. absentminded, jovial. one of his large hands goes to adjust his blindfold, the other to fluff up his hair. kicking off the blanket you just barely had the energy to throw over him last night. your fluffiest one, warm enough to protect him from the chill gnawing at the windows. hopefully.

“like a log,” he quips, stretching idly, muscles straining under his baggy uniform. they must be sore, after that mission. or maybe he’s above such things.

choosing not to comment on his obvious lie, you put your lips against the ceramic of your cup. sipping from the bitter brew, a tinge of hazelnut on your tongue. letting him gather his bearings without you scrutinizing him. a little favor, one liar to another.

“thanks for letting me crash,” he grins, lazy. toothy. stumbling to his feet with a low groan, gaze flitting around the room — looking for the exit. “i’ll get outta your hair,” he mutters, and you raise a brow.

“not staying for breakfast?”

gojo stills. your question rings out, bouncing off the walls of the kitchen, into the living room.

his smile twitches, ever so slightly, in what you think must be surprise. then it’s back to normal; like putting on a mask, not allowing a sliver of weakness to slip through the cracks. he exhales a raspy chuckle, a sound that flows through the air and crawls down your spine.

”generous, aren’t you?” he hums, voice rich with amusement. dappling sunlight licks at the white locks of his hair.

you shrug. “i wouldn’t mind the company.”

the words climb up the walls of your throat, a little reckless, eager to catch a glimpse of the miracle before you. satoru gojo, framed by the simplicity of your home — somewhat hard to let go of. sunkissed skin, restless hands. a little out of tune. shifting from foot to foot, eager to get away.

(a little like a frightened fawn, you amuse yourself by thinking. he’s really more like the fox who scared it.)

you think he must be bit uncomfortable. forced to spend the night in a coworker’s apartment, one he doesn't even know that well, one he probably doesn’t have any intention of getting to know. still trying to politely excuse himself. persistent, stubborn.

maybe he didn’t expect this. maybe he was convinced he could sneak away, before you had a chance to wake up. maybe he thought you’d be all too eager to let him leave, and never speak of this again. maybe he’s not used to being wanted.

“ha… i’m flattered, believe me, but —“

“what do you usually eat?” you ask. cutting him off, gently, tapping your fingertips against the edge of the table. “for breakfast, i mean. i’ll whip something up.”

a chuckle slips from his lips. you can’t put your finger on it, but something about it bothers you. “really, there’s —“

“if you’re worried about inconveniencing me, don’t be.” you pause, unsure of what to say. but the words end up spilling out of your throat, oddly honest. ”it’s been a while since i had the chance to make breakfast for someone else.”

it’s strange, really, how intent you are on seeing this through. how much effort you’re putting into making him stay. you barely even know him. actually, you don’t know him at all — all you know is that his smile makes you happy and his strength makes you envious. that you aren’t afraid of him, even though you probably should be.

something about him just feels safe.

“i’m pretty good at making pancakes,” you hum, a small smile playing at your lips. polite, jovial. pale light flits in through the window and slips into its curve. ”do you want some? before we go to work.”

(something in his fingers twitch, when you say that tiny word; pancakes. a little tell. you just barely catch it, before it sputters out. before he reels it back in.)

a moment passes. slow, drawn out, a rubber band bound to snap.

gojo stands there, a very subtle contemplation etched into his features. behind him, your cats begin to scratch at the couch, but you don’t scold them. just waiting for something to happen. beyond the glass of your windows, the sun unfurls in the sky, stretching its arms to envelop the world.

he grins, suddenly. soft light reflecting off the white of his teeth. cocky, composed. not quite performative, a little more natural.

“well, if you insist.”

he strolls over to your side, just a tiny bit sluggish, lazy steps and comically long limbs. he must still be tired. but he takes a seat, right across from you, plopping down on the chair with an effortless air of confidence. lighthearted, leaning his elbows on the table, crossing his legs under it. comfortable. settling into his role.

you’re pleasantly surprised.

“how would you like them?” you ask, and you think some of your excitement may have spilled out with the question. if it did, gojo doesn’t comment on it. ”your pancakes.”

“with chocolate chips, please!” he shoots you a sweet smile. “and whipped cream on top.”

so demanding. for some reason, it makes the corners of your lips quirk up. kinda like a bratty younger brother.

“got it.”

the smell of dark chocolate hangs heavy in the air as you get to work, shuffling around the open space. all while gojo waits, patiently, tapping his foot under the table and staring out the window. leaning his jaw on the heel of his palm. listening to the humming of nightingales on the branches of the apple tree down on the ground, and the buzz of your old radio.

the kitchen fills with motion, sounds, smells. life. splotches of sunlight, crinkled cartons of orange juice. the clinking of plates. two tired adults, seated at the same table, indulging in a fleeting peace and the promise of something new. something almost concrete.

a small, precious moment. enough to make your fascination shift into something you know must be fondness. or close to it.

gojo grins at you, mouth full of pancakes, eagerly telling you about something the kids did last week. wolfing them down, chocolate smeared over his bottom lip. you laugh, and suddenly the world feels a little safer than it should. a little more intact.

you wonder what it means. where it’s going to lead. this feeling of something wonderful beginning, something you couldn’t stop if you wanted to.

a budding connection.

the city lays blanketed beneath a layer of thick snow. blurry pale dots dancing in the wind, obscuring the sky, frost engulfing every building in a bone chilling hug.

with a slight shiver, you dig your hands into the comfort of your pockets, seeking the fleeting warmth you find. admiring the frozen landscape before you, the hustle and bustle of people going about their day. the saffron light of the lamp posts, the glittering snow by your feet, the skeletal apricot trees and their bare branches. this monochrome city you find yourself in.

gojo exhales. strolling cheerily down the street, in tandem with you, a frosty breath to your left that scatters and melts into the open air. it smells minty.

today, he’s wearing black shades — like he usually is when you meet outside of work. it’s kind of nice. when you angle your face a certain way, you can almost see the blue pooling in his eyes, the white of his eyelashes.

he’s beautiful. he always has been. but like this, you think his beauty is simply unfair, highlighted by the winter wonderland you find yourselves in. mesmerizing, the red flush of his cheeks, how he hums along to some jolly tune playing from a little corner store further down the street. all bundled up, in a stylish overcoat and a nice scarf, untouched by the snowflakes fluttering about.

protected by his infinity, always. the silly god you call a friend.

he looks content, despite the cold that keeps nipping at your bare skin, smiling widely. blabbing on about the movie you’re about to watch, how he saw it back in high school but never thought it’d get a remake. how his friend thought it sucked but that friend always had bad taste so his opinion is irrelevant. how he has faith that you’ll like it.

(cute.)

distracted by the pretty man so close by, close enough to touch, you don’t look ahead. maybe just a little bit entranced. which would be fine, if you didn’t happen to be walking on the right side of the street —

crashing straight into a lamp post.

”owch!”

it’s sudden. and it’s a harsh collision, enough to leave your nose stinging, an ache that makes you whine. cursing under your breath as you take a couple steps back, hands reaching for the part of your face that took the brunt of the hit.

and gosh, is this embarrassing. you dance on the edge of death for a living, and here you are — whining over walking into a fucking lamp post. because you were too enamored by the beauty of your own coworker to pay attention to your surroundings.

a coworker who is currently looking at you, silently. having failed to warn you in time, stuck in his own memories, caught up in his in-depth, spoiler-filled review of a movie he’s been waiting to watch all week.

for a moment, all he does is blink. long eyelashes fluttering, like a dove flapping its wings.

then he starts laughing.

scratch that — gojo is downright cackling, thoroughly amused by your clumsy mishap, like he just saw the funniest thing in the world. laughter ringing out into the cold air, white breaths to compliment the red of your burning ears.

asshole.

with a harsh furrow of your brows, you attempt to look angry; but before long, your lips are curling up. infected by his joy. a soft punch to his shoulder is all you manage, biting back a little puff of laughter. you’re embarrassed.

(so embarrassed you don’t even notice how he puts his infinity down.)

”don’t laugh, you piece of shit!” you hiss, grinning even still, flushing and trying to ignore the curious glances you get from passersby. ”it really hurt!”

but gojo doesn’t stop. doesn’t even attempt to. you think he just grew even more amused, if anything, practically bending over from how hard he’s laughing — clutching his stomach.

”sorry, sorry — ’m just…” he tries to speak, taking deep breaths in between bursts of giggles. ”how the hell — how’d you —”

he stops trying. laughing, again.

and it’s a genuine laugh. a little wolfish, spilling out from his pretty parted lips, showing off his sharp teeth. from the very bottom of his gut, clear and bright, deep and infectious. melodic. shades close to slipping off the bridge of his nose, eyes tearing up behind them. trying to collect himself, muffled giggles turning to soft vapour in the cold air. dimples visible on his rosy cheeks.

and suddenly you can't think, can't speak, can only look at him and wonder how a human can be so very beautiful. how it’s metaphysically possible. like a crushed cluster of stars was given human form, a body of celestial light.

he looks so young, like this. a millenia younger, no weight on those broad shoulders, no immovable wall to separate you both. he looks like one of the guys you used to hang out with in middle school, running through corridors and play fighting and holding back shared laughter in the library. before the bite of the world left a mark in your skin.

he looks like himself. like someone pulled the mask off, and all that’s left is the human. none of the godhood he was saddled with at birth.

while you’re busy staring, gojo finally finds his composure again. wiping at his glassy eyes, a chuckle slipping out here and there. distracted by the breathtaking sight, you begin to forget the sting of your collision — until you feel something warm trickle down your chilled skin.

searching for it with the pads of your fingers, you feel a trail of wetness beneath your nose. and when you bring them down, to get a look, all you see is red.

”ah.”

gojo moves closer. maybe just a little alarmed, by the blood dripping from your nose, staining the white of the snow beneath your feet. a chilling contrast, one you’re frighteningly used to. it’s almost comforting. blood on your skin, that sting of pain clogging up your nose, enough for you to get lost in. colours melting together, memories rising to the surface —

when suddenly, something touches your cheek.

one large hand goes to keep your jaw in place, gentle. smooth leather, sneaking under your chin, lifting your face up ever so slightly. warmth trickles from his fingertips through the fabric, and you can smell a hint of his perfume. strawberries and vanilla.

gojo looks at you fondly. wiping the blood from your nose, smudging his expensive gloves. from this angle, you can see his eyes, a blue shimmer in an evening painted white and gray — the sole flicker of colour in this monochrome city. they’re crinkled at the edges.

he looks awfully amused.

(you stay still, not breathing, like any slight motion could have him pulling away.)

”careful,” he croons. so low you barely hear it, almost a purr. the word has a soft underbelly, something you don’t need to dissect to feel.

a sentiment that seems to simmer in the air around you, drifting past the little corner store, a dog tied to a lamp post, your reddened cheeks. past the blue of his eyes, a peripheral that stretches to cover the city before you. words too heavy to speak aloud.

stay safe for me, silly.

then he’s letting go. sudden, the bite of the air replacing his hand. it lingers on your skin, like a memory, like the ghost of a memory. but it’s there. strawberries and vanilla, leather and warmth. something kind. warm.

and it stays there, even as gojo takes a step forward, no longer facing you. walking confidently, the wind bending around his tall stature. long legs and large steps, leaving an imprint in the snow for you to follow. a northern star.

he turns his head, and grins. hair tousled by the breeze, white locks glittering with snowflakes. ”you coming? it’s starting soon.”

a moment passes.

”or do you need me to call shoko?”

you puff out a breathy laugh, at that, stumbling forward. reaching up to wipe more of the blood sticking to your skin. sniffling, but smiling, teeth peeking out between your lips.

”yeah, yeah,” a roll of your eyes. ”’m right behind you.”

gojo’s eyes crinkle, disappearing behind his shades when he straightens his back and raises his head. moving forward, while you follow; his back turned to you, snowy hair melting into the white all around you. like something out of a painting.

with a pep in step, you catch up to him. eager to hear more of his voice, his memories. still basking in the warmth of his hand on your jaw.

a touch from the untouchable.

gojo’s lying on your couch.

he usually is, to be fair, so it shouldn’t be surprising. kicking his legs up, watching tv — or sleeping, snoring loudly, like the couch belongs to him. like your home belongs to him. like he pays rent, and doesn’t just laze around and devour all the sweets in your kitchen cabinets.

(he’s there so often that you’re starting to wonder if you should give him a copy of your keys, or something. but you have a feeling that’d be just a smidge too intimate for him to ever accept.)

this time, however, gojo is doing neither of those things.

he’s on your couch, but he isn’t manspreading, or draping himself over the leather with a lazy grin. he doesn’t have that air of effortless confidence. and it’s palpable, in the air, the open space, enough that you can feel it. an itch on your skin, a lump in your throat. you could practically feel it as soon as you walked through the door.

he isn’t wearing his blindfold, or his shades. he isn’t even smiling. and gojo is always, always smiling.

you think he might be having a rough day.

even the cats are noticing that something’s off. jumping up in his lap, trying to comfort him, brushing against his legs. purring, when he cradles them close — always so gentle with them. hands petting down their backs, softly, the same hands he uses to rip out the throats of curses and curse users alike.

then they mewl and run away. and for once you wish they wouldn’t, wish they could keep clinging to him like they always do. just to make him feel better. right now, in the state he’s in, you wouldn’t even mind gojo’s usual smug declarations of how does it feel to know they like their papa best?

you can’t help but feel unsure of yourself. gojo isn’t doing anything, and he isn’t saying anything. he’s just lying there, on his back, eyes closed. letting the darkness of the room engulf him. drowning in his own thoughts.

he must know that you’re there. he must have heard you come in. but he isn’t saying anything, and you wonder if that means he wants you to leave him alone.

you’re reminded of that one morning. when he woke up on your couch, and looked more human than you’d ever seen him. how you wanted to avert your eyes, how wrong it felt to see a god rouse from its slumber.

(but you know better now.)

hesitantly, you begin to inch closer, step by step. quiet, floorboards barely creaking beneath your weight. tentative, as you settle down on the couch. brushing against the infinity between you.

gojo’s eyes flicker open. like an old tape beginning to play. they still shine with that same brilliance, they always do, but now you think they look just a little dull. a little red.

a moment passes. agonizingly slow.

before you can properly think it through, you’ve done it. almost on instinct, jumping the gun before he has the chance to cover everything up with jokes and laughter. opening your arms; a silent invitation.

gojo only stares.

his gaze moves down to your outstretched arms, and then up to your face. your pursed lips, nervous eyes, worried crease between your brows. one second passes. two, five. you stop counting.

for a moment, you’re almost certain that he’s about to get up and leave. that he’ll flash you a smile that doesn't reach his eyes, walk out the door and then never return. like you flew too close to the sun, just another icarus too mesmerized by the glow of his grin to notice your melting wings. like you stepped over the fragile line that separates his bones from yours, his heartbeat from your greedy hands.

— but then he sluggishly gets into a sitting position, and doesn't look at you.

when gojo collapses into your embrace, you’re so surprised that you almost forget how to breathe. almost forget your own name, forget whose home you’re in, why your arms are wrapped around a pale man. all you can think of is how warm he feels, how he’s like a weighted blanket against you. how he trusts you enough to come so very close.

cheek pressed against your chest, arms loose around your waist. no infinity, no barriers. just a single touch shared between two damaged human beings.

a brief inhale gives you the composure that you need. air flowing into your lungs, your brain, as you settle into a comfortable position. no words leave your lips; you just continue to hold him, one hand on his back, testing the waters. letting him hear the echo of your heartbeat. unsure, the both of you, but something about this feels right. close to right. almost there.

gojo is stiff. when you strain your ears, you hear a sharp intake of breath, and a full body shiver courses through him. a tremble of his spine. like he’s itching to run, like he doesn’t quite know where to put his hands. so painfully unused to a proper embrace.

(a little like a frightened fawn.)

a tender something unfurls within your chest, and you feel almost devoured by the fondness rooting itself into your beating heart. delicate, as you begin to brush away his tousled bangs, leaning close. pressing a kiss to his forehead, glistening with sweat. letting your lips linger on his skin.

he’s pale, shining in the bleak moonlight cast from the translucent curtains of your living room windows. pale like a ghost. and there are dark crescents beneath his dull eyes.

nightmares, you surmise. they haunt him too, don’t they? of course they do.

eyes brimming with emotion, you gaze at him; quiet as a mouse, closing his eyes. leaning into your touch, ever so slightly, breathing out a sigh tinged with pure exhaustion. and a certain realization washes over you, akin to a tidal wave, sudden and inevitable. so obvious it’s funny.

you’re not a god at all, are you?

a coo slips from your lips. barely a sound, more like a soothing breath. warm against his cold skin.

you’re just like everyone else. just as fragile.

one of your thumbs goes to smooth over the puffy skin beneath his eyes. so, so gentle. like one wrong touch could have him crumbling into little grains of stardust, spilling out over the worn leather of your couch.

there are so many things you wish you could say to him. so many things you’ll never be able to say, because you’re afraid that if you give him too much it’ll scare him off. like love could burn him if it were to leak out too fervently. like it’s burned him before.

so you don’t say anything. but you think it, you repeat it inside your mind like a prayer, and some part of you thinks that’s enough. i’ve got you — a whisper that you don't dare to voice.

one gojo still manages to hear, somehow, if the way he tugs you closer and snuggles into your neck is anything to go by. a shaky exhale brushing against your collarbone.

(if you feel something wet touch the skin of your shoulder, you don’t mention it.)

you simply hold him, and don’t even think the thought of letting go. even though it takes him hours just to fall asleep, hours you spend anxiously wondering if he’ll change his mind and pull away. but he doesn't leave, even though his body may want him to, and that's enough, and you don’t let go. not even once. he stays cradled to your chest the same way you’d hold a tiny puppy, something fragile. something you need to handle with care.

and when his heartbeat finally mellows out, when you hear little barely audible snores flow from his lips, you finally begin to relax. melting into the couch beneath you, watching him get the rest he deserves. praying that any nightmares of his will be given to you instead.

sleep comes, eventually, to the both of you. tangled up on the couch, him on top of you, comforted by the flutter of each other’s heartbeat. by the warmth of another human being. safe in each other’s arms.

(the next morning, through hazy sunshine and the clinking of coffee cups, he teasingly tells you that just satoru is fine.)

it’s barely daybreak when satoru wakes you up.

a rude awakening, to say the least. he pulls out all the stops, intent on not letting you sleep even a second longer; poking at your cheek, pinching them when that doesn’t work. tickling you, blowing cold air into your ear, flopping down on top of you like a big dog. anything to rouse you from your deep slumber.

and he just will not give it up. no matter how hard you try to ignore him, no matter how many times you swat him away with your duvet pillow or turn to bury your face into the sheets. that’s how satoru always is, how he’s always been, how he hopefully always will be — an absolute pain. one you wouldn’t trade for anything else in the world.

so, when he starts whining for you to just wake up already, voice tinged with a sadness that tugs at your heartstrings, you find yourself opening your tired eyes. all while he murmurs on and on about something unintelligible, still trying to bribe you.

”i’ll make you coffee, okay? just get up. c’moooon.”

”… what time is it, satoru?” is all you mutter, voice leaving your lips in a raspy, disgruntled fashion. stirring a little at the promise of coffee.

he cracks a grin. ”don’t worry about it! just come with me.”

despite your grumpy attitude, and the ungodly hour at which satoru shakes you awake, you find yourself letting him scoop you up and set you down on the kitchen counter. placing a hot cup of coffee in your hands, made just the way you like it, before grinning mischievously in a way that has you feeling ill at ease.

and ten minutes later, you find yourself on top of a hill. overlooking the woods, and a big lake below you, no city lights visible no matter where you turn — god knows where he’s taken you, but it’s pretty.

breathtaking, even. all frost and wildlife and peace, sweet solitude, tiny flowers blooming on the patches of grass around you. a murder of crows takes flight in the distance, scattering into the indigo of the sky.

gojo grins, boyish and bright, excited breaths turning into vapour as he speaks. awfully proud of himself.

”i can’t take you on vacation, but —”

he drags you with him, arm looped around your own, plopping down on the ground. not before taking off his jacket, to cover the ground beneath you. grass tickles the skin of your palms, as you comfortably spread your legs, making sure to sit as close to him as possible.

and your heart softens a little.

because he’s mentioned it, before; how it’d be nice to go on a road trip, someday, just the two of you. all around the world, wherever the wind takes you. basking in that feeling of freedom. it’s no more than a fever dream, though, with how busy satoru is, the responsibilities you both shoulder.

so this’ll have to do. that’s probably what he’s thinking.

”the sun’ll rise soon. it’ll be pretty, i promise,” he beams, so close that you feel his warm breath on your skin. that you can see the dimples on his cheeks, his barely visible freckles.

”oh, so that’s why you woke me up so early.”

his smile widens. ”nice, right? i wanted to surprise you. d’you like it?”

a smile blooms on your lips, in tandem with his, honeyed and content. indulgent. gojo looks at it, and immediately knows your answer.

”yeah. it’s really pretty out here,” you face forward, taking a deep breath, fresh morning air entering your lungs. cool and crisp, stirring your sleepy mind. ”kinda nostalgic.”

satoru hums, and follows your lead. looking ahead, admiring the beauty of an empty world.

the big lake looks like a mirror, from here, glittering in the peripheral of your vision. the sun licks at the frozen sky, not quite breaking through, not entirely ready to rise — but it paints everything a rusty gold and you can almost feel spring shining through, taste it on your tongue, that promise of something better, something more concrete. a warmth you don’t have to question.

a warmth that’ll stay with you for a long time to come.

it takes about ten seconds for the man by your side to start speaking, again, shattering the peaceful silence. but you don’t mind. his voice is nice, a mellow melody to your morning-fatigued brain.

side by side, you wait for the sun to rise. sharing hushed whispers and laughter, like two kids having a sleepover. like nothing exists but the space that cocoons you, wraps you up in a nostalgia so palpable the entire world feels like a fond memory.

(it makes you feel a millenia younger.)

satoru giggles like a child, telling you about something shoko said, or something megumi did, and you don’t miss a single word that spills from his glossy lips. hanging on to every word he’s willing to give to you.

he looks so unbothered, like this. eyes crinkling, humming some tune you don’t recognize, like a little nightingale ready to take flight into the skies.

you part your lips, admiring his features. every patch of skin you can see. words making themselves manifest, hungry to see inside his brain, to know more about him. a fascination that’s never quite left you — though now you think it may be better described as love. ”hey, satoru?”

at the sound of his name, he turns to you. the weight of his eyes feels so light, like this. those blessed eyes staring into yours. he tilts his head, a smile playing at his lips. ”mm?”

”if you could go anywhere you wanted, where would you be right now?”

satoru blinks.

he looks at you, a mild surprise flitting through the lines of his face, as he takes you in. measures the weight of your words.

then he smiles, again. lopsided, almost a smirk, rich with amusement. a hum buzzes in his throat, like a butterfly itching to break out.

”.. you teasing me?”

a huff fills the air. ”it’s a genuine question!” you insist, moving your leg to nudge his own. ”c’mon. anywhere in the world. i’m just curious.”

another hum. he narrows his eyes, playfully, biting at the inside of his cheek to hold back a chuckle when that makes you grumble. pouting softly, tilting your head. he’s amused, you can tell.

but he closes his eyes, lashes fluttering, glimmering with morning dew. and you can tell he’s taking you seriously. tasting the question on his tongue.

something shines in his eyes, when he opens them again; crinkling at the corners, soft lines of crows’ feet. you can almost see that burst of aquamarine, breaking through the black glass of his shades. like the laws of physics can’t contain it. and he smiles, as always, a smile so beautiful you wish you could live on the curve of his lips. flimsy, no teeth peeking out, no dimples to admire. but sweet. slathered with honey, as sincere as can be.

his voice comes out a little raspy, tainted with a tinge of fatigue, a smokey residue that sticks to the walls of his throat. but it's genuine, like he just woke up, like he's too sleepy to be dishonest. like every word he says can be no more or less than the absolute truth.

and when he turns to face you, tilting his head enough for you to see that shade of blue you love so dearly, his eyes shine with an honestly so palpable you feel like you’re being devoured.

satoru parts his lips.

”right next to you.”

a moment passes. silent, endless, no sound to be heard but the beating of your own heart.

at last, the sun breaks through that layer of frost, peeking up from the boundary of the world — and the morning begins to thaw. streaks of sunlight cascade down the contours of his handsome face, painting him a mellow gold, and it’s almost enough to distract you from the warmth of his hand finding yours.

for a moment, satoru looks unsure. smile shifting in the light, into something slightly stiff, and you know that means he's nervous. silent, as he wets his glossy lips. pink tongue tasting strawberry chapstick.

then he’s leaning forward.

it’s chaste, the kiss he plants on your forehead, soft as the flutter of a butterfly’s wings. but it lingers, even after he’s pulled back — a warmth on your skin. a silent declaration.

he doesn't have to say anything. when you look up at him you can see the red flush of his ears, and when you strain your ears you can hear all those unspoken whispers. the sentiment neither of you will ever have to say out loud, because you know. it’s there. and it means everything.

and you know that for as long as you live, you’ll both have this. one single thread of normalcy, in your unorthodox existences, one single glimmer of something almost entirely good. something that heals, something that isn’t a blessing and a curse all in one. something soft to the touch.

there’s no need to find the right words for it. there never was.

”kinda looks like melted ice cream.”

the words pull you out of your stupor. satoru’s looking at the sky, and you follow his gaze, watching the sunrise in tandem with him.

it’s beautiful. soft clouds melting into pinks and oranges, dappling sunbeams lapping at the trees, a saffron shade washing over the empty world in front of you. a world that may not be so empty, after all, because you hear crows in the distance, and someone’s fishing by the lake, and you think you spot a squirrel in the tree closest to you.

and you have someone, right next to you, right by your side. someone who won’t ever leave.

sometimes, loving satoru gojo feels a little like strolling on the edge of a cliff. like one wrong step could have you tumbling down, a mess of broken bones and unspoken words. but if you do stumble and fall — you know he’ll be waiting at the bottom of the precipice. arms outstretched, wearing that same innocent grin, ready to hoist you both back up.

so you know it’ll be fine.

swallowing down a bout of fresh laughter, like a flower unfurling in your chest, petals brushing against your ribcage, you give in. opting to bask in the moment, in his presence.

”yeah,” you puff out a chuckle, head slumping against satoru’s shoulder. he makes a little noise of approval, and your grin grows. ”it does.”

he doesn’t say anything. smiling, wordlessly, admiring the way the sun kisses up your collarbone. lighting up your face. and you bask in his warmth, how right it feels to be tucked into his side. how safe he feels, even now. how safe you make him feel.

you look at the man to your left, and he looks back at you, and that wonderful unnamed something unfurls inside your chest again. and, without having to speak it aloud, you know it will continue to do so.

many, many years later, he’ll still be satoru, and you’ll still be you. the distance between you will be what it always was; breachable.

and that will be enough.

#someone sedate me i giggled while writing this. im so in love w this stupid weasel #this is rly just my attempt at writing a more canon-aligned gojo and the kinda-sorta relationship i could see him having in canon #i firmly believe that he’d feel most at peace w a love that sits somewhere right between platonic n romantic !!#”me n the bestie <3” (selfie of u wearing matching rings)#its the kinda love that u dont need to label bc its just There. its just love !! a love that comes easy #im happy w how this particular gojo turned out i think!! :'3 hes my lil baby #in other news hes so bambi coded ☹️ i need to nurse him back to health #listen to capable of love by pinkpantheress btw its so gojo to me #jjk x reader #jjk #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #jjk fluff #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jjk x gender neutral reader #gojo fluff #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x reader

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bangtanflirt · 2 months

Text

(Un)natural Instincts (Part 12)

*Series taglist is closed.

angst, fluff, smut

Pairings: OT7 x Fem Reader, Human CEO Reader, Human Assistant Yoongi, Wolf Hybrids Joon, Jin, Hobi, Jimin, Tae, and Kook.

Basic premise: You and your assistant end up rescuing six wolf hybrids. No part of the process is easy.

Part 1 > Part 2 > Part 3 > Part 4 > Part 5 > Part 6 > Part 7 > Part 8 > Part 9 > Part 10 > Part 11 > Part 12

General Warnings: Hybrid abuse and lab experimentation, drugs, hybrids as second-class citizens/owned property (Minors DNI, 18+ content)

Specific Warnings: discussions around SA triggers (mainly boundary setting, not angsty), one brief mention of a gunshot, gunshot wound, fear of punishments, hints to street crime violence, vague hints to smut

____

Hoseok watches as Taehyung gets lost in the painting, fascinated by how he repeatedly goes back and fixes each detail. It’s endearing, watching him bite his bottom lip in concentration.

“What’s that stuff you’re adding to the paint?”

“Poppyseed oil. It makes the paint dry slower.”

“You want it to dry slower?”

The younger one nods, “This way I can retouch whatever needs to be fixed without worrying about it drying.”

He hands his hyung the brush in his hand, which Hoseok swirls into the paint thinner before handing back clean.

“I didn’t know you could add stuff to the paint like that.”

“They’re called mediums. There's fast-drying ones too, which I’ll be using for the clothes and hair since I want to work in lots of separate layers for those.”

“This is already all too complicated for me.” Hoseok laughs, preferring to mindlessly watch the paint go down than think about drying times and layers.

Taehyung laughs, leaning in to give his hyung a peck on the cheek.

Jimin walks in at the exact time, smiling fondly at the scene. He brings in a platter of freshly cut fruit, most of which are Taehyung’s favorites.

“Fruit delivery!”

Hoseok brings the boy close, holding him by the waist as he opens his mouth for a piece. Taehyung follows, stopping his brushwork to be fed.

“How much longer until the painting’s done?” Jimin asks while popping a cut strawberry into the younger wolf’s mouth.

Taehyung holds up three fingers, mouth too distracted by the sweet fruit to speak.

“Three days?”

He nods.

“So three more days until you stop cooping up in here and pay more attention to me,” Jimin pouts.

“Are you actually getting jealous of Y/N’s late grandmother?” Taehyung teases, causing Hoseok to almost choke on a grape laughing.

It’s the sound again. The sound of Hoseok laughing. He seems completely oblivious as to how much it affects his packmates—how much love it fills in their hearts.

___

Jin reaches for Namjoon’s hand, attempting to soothe the worried wolf as they both wait for Jungkook to come out from his bath.

This isn’t going to be easy.

Joon says with furrowed brows alone.

He’s going to hate this.

Jin agrees with a light squeeze to his packmate’s fingers.

It wouldn’t be hard to convince an outsider that Jin and Namjoon can, in fact, read each other’s minds. Wouldn’t take much convincing at all, with how well the two communicate with just looks. But there’s no mind-reading abilities at play, just years of understanding each other.

They were the first two members of the pack, after all.

Namjoon still remembers the goosebumps on his arms when he first met Jin—it was the first time he’d ever felt the pull of a pack bond. A rush of adrenaline, serotonin, and dopamine all creating a buzzing cocktail in his body when the older wolf smiled his way.

Jin wasn’t innocent either, he knew he was riling the usually-poised Alpha up the second he looked at him. It was a fun game, teasing and taunting the big bad wolf until he was taught a lesson behind some shabby hybrid bar neither of them remember the name of anymore.

Namjoon's mind wanders back to that night, amused at the idea of telling his younger self that he’d be starting his forever family with that gorgeous man he met in a rundown dive bar—that four more wonderful hybrids would walk into their life and make them complete.

He doesn’t think he’d tell his younger version about the lab. He wouldn’t want to know.

The bathroom door opens, and both pairs of wolf eyes focus in on the youngest.

“Hey Koo” Jin says in his sweetest tone.

Jungkook flashes a toothy grin to his packmates, shuffling over to give both a chaste kiss on the lips.

“We were actually waiting for you pup, wanted to talk to you about something.”

Namjoon’s solemn tone isn’t lost on the wolf, putting him on edge as he takes his place opposite them on the bed.

“Is something wrong?” His eyes nervously dart between the two older ones.

Jin decides to take the lead, going in with as much tact as possible.

“First of all, we just want to say how happy we are that the hormones effects are wearing off on you. It’s great seeing you be yourself again...”

Namjoon jumps in, feeling Jin’s nervousness take over, “…but we do have to be mindful of our situation pup. Pushing away y/n isn’t going to do us any favors here.”

“Or Yoongi.” Jin adds.

Jungkook almost rolls his eyes, but he manages to hold back.

“I’ll behave.” He grits out halfheartedly.

“I’m going to need you to be more convincing than that Koo.”

The wolf glares at his Alpha, a sign of defiance Namjoon is not in the mood to entertain.

“Stop being bratty before I spank it out of you pup.”

Jungkook’s gaze changes in an instant. The challenging glint in his eyes is replaced with something far more devastating—hurt. Jin’s hands reach for Namjoon’s shoulder, pulling him back before the situation escalates even more.

“Why stop at a spanking? Might as well put the Obedience collar back on so you can have the docile and well behaved pup you want so badly.”

He doesn’t wait to be dismissed, almost running out of the room before the other two can see his glossy eyes.

Jin lets out a dejected sigh, “You shouldn’t have brought up punishment baby.”

Namjoon knew it was a mistake the second the words left his mouth, but it was already too late then.

“I-I know…it was just instinct.” Guilt overtakes his features, regretting not thinking twice before speaking.

The moment Jungkook looked at him with that defiant stare, he couldn’t help but respond in the way he had a thousand times before the lab. Back when punishments were just a tool for an Alpha to reign in a bratty wolf—not synonymous with physical and psychological torture.

He knows he can’t discipline his pack the way other Alphas do anymore, not when they’ve had enough punishments to last three lifetimes.

Jin tugs on the younger wolf’s sleeve, pulling him back to Earth, “Go apologize and make it up to him.”

“What if he wants space from me?”

“We’re talking about Jungkook here, your clingiest pup.”

Jin isn’t wrong. Jungkook isn’t the type to want to be left alone when he’s upset.

Namjoon follows the scent trail carefully, grimacing at the smell of salt mixed into Jungkook’s signature vanilla. Salt meant tears, and tears meant his pup was cooping himself up in some corner and sobbing. It doesn’t take the Alpha long to find which corner exactly, as the not-so-small wolf can’t exactly hide behind a dresser the way he thinks he can. But that doesn’t stop him from trying—bundled up with his knees to his chest in one of the spare bedrooms.

“Koo, sweetheart…” He keeps his voice soft.

Jungkook simply sniffles in response, not daring to look up with the wet streaks on his face. If this was Taehyung or Jimin, he’d have heard a “go away” by now. But not his Koo. Despite his willful attitude, there’s nothing Jungkook wants more than to be babied when he’s crying.

Namjoon cautiously sits in front of the boy, leaving space to keep their bodies from touching.

“Hey pup, can you look at me please.”

With his face still buried in his knees, the wolf simply shakes his head in refusal.

“I’m sorry about what I said Koo. I shouldn’t have brought up punishment…and the last thing I want is for you—or anyone—to be on those drugs again.”

“You’re lying.” Jungkook finally raises his head, eyes watery and puffy, “I was easier to deal with when I had the collar on. I know it. You know it. Everybody knows it. Hell, even I wish I could turn off all these thoughts and just behave. But I can’t…that’s not me.” His voice breaks towards the end, sobs threatening to spill from his throat.

Panic flashes on Namjoon’s face, composed demeanor becoming harder to maintain as Jungkook lays all his insecurities bare. There’s a quiet rage bubbling in his stomach—pointed a little at Kang but mainly at himself. Rage for letting Jungkook’s self esteem get to this point.

He knew from the day that Jungkook came into their lives that he’d need to be extra careful with him. Unlike the others, who jumped eagerly into his arms at the promise of a pack bond, his youngest pup was nothing but stand offish and distrustful for months.

It’s not hard to see how little love Jungkook has known prior to the pack, but things aren’t supposed to be like that anymore. Namjoon knows it’s naïve to think that all of Jungkook’s scars would be healed by now—knowing just how many he has—but wishful thinking got the better of him.

The boy in front of him looks just as insecure as he did when they first met. Except he’s not hiding it with sarcastic remarks and cold stares anymore…at least not to his packmates.

Namjoon makes sure to not let his frustration show in his words, needing to be as calm as possible to not spook the distressed boy.

“But this you is the one we fell in love with baby, how could we ever prefer any other version over it? I’ll admit you’re not the easiest pup from time to time, but I’d rather you be the most difficult wolf in the world than put that collar back on you.”

“Then why do you keep taking y/n’s side? She wants me back on the collar. I can tell. Wants me to be the sweet sweet angel they brainwashed me into being.”

“She doesn’t want you on the collar either Koo, she just doesn’t know this version of you…and you aren’t exactly letting her in either—which I know is hard for you, I understand it’s asking a lot, but I’m not doing this because I’m taking her side. I just think we have an actual shot of being happy here. You trust me, don’t you baby?”

Jungkook nods. No matter how upset he is, it’s instinct to nod when Namjoon asks that question. Of course he trusts his Alpha. He’d follow Namjoon to the ends of the world if he asked him to.

“I…I’ll try. But please…d-don’t punish me if I c-can’t.” The last part is whispered, as if it’s a shameful declaration. It is, to some extent, shameful for Jungkook to admit—that he shivers at the mention of the tamest punishments now.

Namjoon’s heart drops to his stomach at the helpless bundle of nerves in front of him.

“I won’t baby. I promise. Will you please come to me?”

Jungkook doesn’t waste time to scoot his way over, making himself small as he seeks safety in Namjoon’s embrace. Namjoon breathes a bit lighter, relieved at Jungkook’s lack of hesitation—the last thing he wants is his pup to be wary of him.

___

Hoseok looks over from one brunette to the other, both fidgeting as they try to find their words.

“What is it pups?”

Jimin clears his throat, tightening his hold on Taehyung’s arm before speaking up.

“Um..we just wanted to ask…” no matter how hard he tries, he can’t get the words out, “it’s nothing hyung! Forget about it.”

Taehyung, although disappointed, follows in understanding. The two are ready to retreat, but their hyung isn’t having any of that.

“Wait!” their hyung pouts, not wanting to be left out, “whatever it is, you can ask me.”

“It’s selfish” Taehyung takes the words out of Jimin’s mouth.

Hoseok raises a brow, waiting for further explanation only to be met with an awkward silence.

“Since when have you two ever thought twice before asking me for things?”

It’s true. They normally didn’t hesitate to ask their Hobi hyung for whatever they wanted. Why would they? He was their hyung and they were his precious pups to spoil.

But this wasn’t a normal situation.

“Whatever it is, I won’t get mad. You know I never get mad at you guys.”

Jimin wishes Hobi didn’t add that part, as it only makes him feel more gross in the moment,

“Fuck, I can’t do it. Please, let’s all drop this.”

Hoseok, however, isn’t ready to drop the subject.

“What could it possibly be that you’re so scare—” he stops as soon as the realization hits.

Truthfully, he’s been preparing for this conversation. With everyone else going back to normal, Hoseok knew it was just a matter of time before intimacy would come back into the equation for the rest of them.

“Oh pups, you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be fine, really.”

Jimin raises a brow, wanting to make sure everyone’s on the same page. Hoseok continues on, assuring them that he isn’t misunderstanding the situation.

“If we’re being completely honest, I’m still not comfortable with the topic. There’s still a lot I need to work through to handle triggers around it, but whatever anyone else does is fine as long as I’m not asked to be part of it.”

“A-are you sure? With you tuning into your hybrid he—”

“I don’t tune in to anything in the house. Really guys, it’s fine! The only thing that’ll make me feel bad is if you hold yourselves back because of me.”

“We don’t want you just saying that for our sake hyung.”

Hoseok shakes his head with surety, “I’m not. As long as it’s away from me, I don’t mind.”

He punctuates with a smile, ruffling Tae’s hair to lighten the mood. It works on Taehyung, but Jimin’s brows are still furrowed.

“What about during our heats? Will you be okay next month?”

“I’ve talked to Y/N and Yoongi about it already. I’ll be staying with them at Yoongi’s place, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Right now, I’m telling you that I’m more than okay. Please don’t walk on eggshells around me.”

Jimin nods, deciding it best to trust his hyung’s judgement. Hoseok knows what’s best for himself, and it’s not Jimin’s place to decide what should and shouldn’t bother the older wolf.

___

You take a step back, huffing at your sixth failed attempt before diving back in.

You’re Shin Y/N.

You’ve made businessmen shake in their boots at the sound of your heels clicking. You’ve revived dying companies with one meeting. So why can’t you move this pesky little bookshelf to the other side of your office?

It’s been over fifteen minutes, and you can’t get the thing to budge at all. However, if it’s one thing you are, it’s stubborn. So you close your eyes and focus all your energy on pushing. To your surprise, the wooden shelf actually starts sliding this time. Ecstatic, you open your eyes to navigate the room--only to be met with the last sight you’re expecting to see.

It’s Jungkook, covered head to toe in black, with a detached expression you can’t quite read. He nonchalantly drags the piece of furniture, waiting for you to tell him where to stop.

“Right there is fine.”

He props it next to the standing lamp, making sure it’s flush against the wall before letting go.

“Thank you.” You want to say more, but you’re afraid of saying something wrong.

“Whatever.” He stuffs his fists in his hoodie before heading towards the door.

“Wait!” You panic, realizing you said that out loud. You don’t want him to leave but have no clue what to say next. Instinctively, you say the first thing that comes to your mind.

“You’ve been wearing that hoodie a lot…I can buy you more if you like—”

“No thank you.”

Your shoulders shrink. You know it’s not right, but throwing money at your problems has worked out pretty well for you thus far. Not to mention, it’s a lot easier than being emotionally vulnerable. But if money wasn’t going to solve this, your hand’s been forced to try the other way.

“I miss you.”

The words hang heavy in the air, with your fear of being rejected growing by the minute.

The wolf simply scoffs.

“Miss me? You mean you miss having a little pet following all your commands.”

You take a deep breath, reminding yourself of Namjoon’s words to keep composure.

Relax. Jungkook’s a bit difficult to win over, but it’s not impossible. He’s still a sweetheart once he lets you in—really lets you in, without the drugs making him.

Drugs or no drugs, you’ve seen the way he looks at his Alpha with stars in his eyes, or the way he pouts to his Jin hyung when he wants something. Despite the cold front he’s put up with you, he’s as warm as ever to his packmates. There’s still hope as long as you keep trying.

“That’s not true, Jungkook. You can’t just decide what I’ve been feeling and make your judgements based on that. It’s not fair.”

He narrows his eyes, bringing his arms up across his chest in a defensive stance.

“You can’t miss what you’ve never known.”

“I miss you telling me your favorite parts of the shows you’ve watched…or ranking the snacks in the pantry…or just coming by to tell me about your day. Was all of that really just the drugs? Would the real you really be so miserable hanging out with me? Do you hate me that much?”

You try to hold it back, but your eyes start watering right as you say the last sentence. Luckily, no tears spill.

Jungkook is taken aback nonetheless, not expecting the answer he got. His eyes soften up ever so slightly, but not enough to douse the fire of unease you’re burning under.

“I don’t hate you,” he huffs, playing with where his hands meet inside the hoodie instead of meeting your gaze, “and I like living here. But I’m not going to wait for you at the door like a little puppy anymore. And I’m not going to expect you to treat me like my packmates do. You’re not a part of our pack.”

He’s not giving you a lot, but you’re grasping tight at the little assurance he does give. For now, a “I don’t hate you” seems like the best thing you’re going to get from him—and you’re not in any position to complain.

“I understand!” This time, you seem like the lost little puppy, wagging your tail for any approval you can get, “I’m not trying to impose on your pack. I know it’s not my place. I just…want to be friends? Whenever you’re ready to consider me one, I’ll be here.”

You don’t give him any time to respond, as the tears threatening to spill down have you brushing past before the hybrid fully processes what just happened.

Friend.

Somewhere between packmate and total stranger.

Jungkook’s never had a real one before.

He’d never had friends or family before the pack. Just an abandoned stray moving from one back alley to the next. The last time someone asked him to be “friends” was a couple months after he’d just turned eighteen—a wealthy Alpha looking for a fighter to make money off of. He’d agreed, desperate to get off the streets. It wasn’t a bad gig, but it didn’t exactly leave him feeling good either.

Days of nonstop practicing, and nights of nonstop fighting, all so his “friend” could squeeze every last dollar from the matches.

The other fighters didn’t want anything to do with him, with his constant wins getting on everyone else’s nerves. And everyone else in town didn’t want anything to do with him either, with his bloodied and bruised appearance not doing any favors. He got used to the routine—accepted that real friends weren’t in his cards, and that there was probably no pack waiting for him. A true lone wolf.

And he would’ve lived his entire life that way if his last opponent wasn’t such a sore loser. Well, specifically, if his sponsor wasn’t such a sore loser. He still flinches at the memory of being chased down those alleys, hearing gunshots followed by car alarms and shattering glass. It was ten on one, with half of them being wolves he’d defeated in the ring—all working to get their sponsor his money back.

He’d barely managed to escape, gripping where a bullet wound grazed his bloody leg, as he ran without looking back. He only stopped running when the adrenaline couldn’t keep him going any longer, finding himself lost in a neighboring town when his knees finally gave in.

That’s the first time he met Jimin and Taehyung, fingers interlocked and lost in each other’s company. They would’ve missed him if the streetlamp had fully gone out, but thankfully, the little flicker in the night was enough for Jimin’s eyes to meet that of the injured wolf.

If he wasn’t in searing pain, he would’ve felt the pull of the pack bond right when the other two did. But he couldn’t feel anything other than where the bullet ever-so-slightly missed, causing him to kick and scream the entire time the wolves tried to help.

“Relax, please relax. We need to stop the bleeding. What’s your name?”

“Get the fuck away from me. I swear to God I’ll break your bones if you keep touching me.”

Saying he was difficult is an understatement, but the two managed to pin him down just long enough to give emergency first aid.

That was the beginning of the long and messy road to adjusting Jungkook to the pack, navigating his hot temper and short fuse as the rest assured him the pull wasn’t temporary—that this pack, this family, would embrace him with enough love and tenderness to make up for all the years he’d been alone.

To you, to everyone outside, this Jungkook might seem difficult…but only he and his pack know just how gentle he is compared to his old self.

But the idea of this not being enough—of having to compete with the docile imitation of himself that the hormones made him—it was terrifying.

You said you wanted to be friends, but could anyone not bound by a pack bond truly accept Jungkook for the way he is? When there’s really nothing in it for them?

That’s never happened before.

____

A/N: It's good to be back!!!

Permanent Taglist: @skyys-universee @morelovefortn @seagulljk @shadowyjellyfishfest @m4gg13-g @wittyreader

Series Taglist [CLOSED]: @welcometomyworld13 @kalala22 @fxirytaetae @btsfluffsworld @belikejk @shycreationdreamland @danielle143 @singukieee @blackrockshooter780 @g-b-artist @i-have-no-life-charlie @sopemee @no-regrets-just-confusion @acciocriativity @ldysmfrst @amara-mars @caelumwrites @estrellaburnxd @borahaetelevision @on-1ce @fuckthinking @jaiele

#bts hybrid au #bts hybrid x reader #bts ot7 poly #ot7 x reader #bts angst #bts smut #bts fluff #hurt/comfort

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kookslastbutton · 11 months

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Love's Remedy, On Fire ༓ jjk (m) l ch. I

✑ Summary: Jungkook is a romantic. He comes from a highly intelligent family who wants him to carry out the lineage. Being this way, he goes to college to be a pharmacist but his friends say college isn't just about studying! With a little persuasion, he goes to his first frat party thinking his hat will help him pick up a girl-or woman he means.

Pairing: STEM major!virgin!jungkook x STEM major!hot girl!reader

AU/genre: angst, smut, fluff, s2l, college au, mini-series

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 3,027

Warnings: jk is very cute and determined, jk a romantic, oc has philophobia (fear of relationships), oc is not mean here but she teases jk, feat Jackson and Jae-beom, if i missed warning lmk!

Now Playing: seven, summertime sadness, she’s kerosene, angels like you+

A/N: um ok I swear this was supposed to be a pwp crack fic about jk wanting to get laid with a hat on. This turned into a very angsty but fluffy series and I'm sorry 😬 lmk what you think and tysm for reading! 💞 I know title is sucky

ch. lI >> | series masterlist

Over the entirety of his nineteen years, Jungkook was pushed to prepare for one thing—college entrance exams.

It was a huge deal and getting into one of the leading universities in South Korea was a must for him. You see, the Jeons were nobody to laugh at with the bulk of them being high-ranking medical doctors, engineers, and lawyers. Continuing this legacy, therefore, was far from a choice, Jungkook had to follow suit.

When the results of the exams came back Jungkook passed with flying colors. It wasn't a surprise though since he spent all his time studying his ass off until the dawn. Jungkook indeed got accepted into one of the most prestigious universities in Seoul and his parents, teachers, and friends were quick to give their congratulations. He felt good too...no, he felt damn good.

Now he was here he was, standing in the middle of campus with his bag slung over one shoulder and a few orientation papers in his hand. It was still the first week of classes and he desperately needed to get to the science building. (He had chosen to follow his father's footsteps and go into biochem).

"Excuse me," he asks with nervous eyes and a wobbling lip. "Do you happen to know where the science building is? I'm late for class but I can't seem to find it."

The student he walks up to for directions looks about his age. He isn't sure if she's in her first year like him but she looks competent with the way she's standing, feet spread apart and a hand on her hip. The skirt she's sporting is incredibly short but the top is full length. She's smacking on hot pink gum as well, popping bubbles every now and then.

"Keep walking straight until you see the statue of President Kim, then take a right. The science building will be right there." You hardly spare him a glance but you make the mental note that he's cute with his fluffy black hair and big lost eyes. You consider asking his name but you shrug the feeling. He was cute yes, but he was too cute which isn't your type.

Jungkook gives a small thank you and walks off. Your directions are vague, but hopefully finding the statue will help him. After a few steps, he looks over his shoulder to see you laughing with your friend.

You have a gorgeous smile.

Probably the last time he'll see you though, he thinks. Jungkook isn't sure how he'd be with a woman given the fact he's never been with one. Surely he'd do better than half the dumbasses out there but guys like him don't stand a chance with a woman like you.

You look like you go for the experienced type and that wasn't him. He goes back to what he was doing, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Hey man, what's your name?" A young guy with bleached blonde hair slides into the seat next to him. Apparently, he wasn't the only one late. "I'm Jackson." The man goes in for a fist bump but stops when it's very obvious it won't be reciprocated.

"I'm Jungkook," he says, more concentrated on what his professor is saying than anything else. Jackson continues talking, however, despite his focused state.

"So, I'm assuming this is your first year?" Jungkook nods. "Me too. Where you from?"

"Busan."

"Cool cool, I'm from Hong Kong." Hearing this makes Jungkook shift his eyes over immediately. The last thing he expected was to meet someone from China. Was this Jackson dude just pulling his leg or was he being serious? Nevertheless, it intrigues him.

"I'm an exchange student." Jackson clarifies. "Always wanted to see what South Korea was like and I know Seoul's got a pretty thriving economy so..." He shrugs. "Figured I'd give it a go and my parents support it. As long as I stay on my doctor's track of course."

Well damn. A doctor was not what Jungkook assumed a guy like Jackson would be going for. This was a prestigious school but it's still a gen ed class they're in right now. Anyone from most majors could be taking it. If he had to guess, Jackson would be a businessman.

"Well enough about me though," Jackson quips. "What do you study?"

"Biochem. My dad works as a physician and my mom's a chemical engineer. I'm going for pharmacology."

"Shit bro," Jackson cusses freely. Jungkook doesn't mean to jump in response but he does. Being all formal talk at home, it's unventured territory. "You guys must be a family of geniuses. Wait...what's your last name?"

"Jeon?"

Jackson nearly falls back in his chair when he hears the name fall from Jungkook's lips. He covers his mouth with both hands to keep himself under wraps. "Are you serious? You're from the Jeon family? Fuck, man, I've been hearing about your family since I was a kid that's how influential your family has been in the medical industry."

Jungkook finds himself intertwining his hands. His family is well-established in what they do but it never occurred to him that they were that well-known. Sure his dad's been featured in a couple of magazines for his work and his mom's been given several awards for her research. But he didn't think they'd gone that publicly beyond their own town.

"Oh shit I'm sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable talking about this? Promise you I'm not a creep or anything!" The urgency in Jackson's tone stirs up the classroom, peers looking over at the two of them in annoyance.

"Do you mind shutting up?" A chestnut-haired boy is the first to speak up. He looks thoroughly pissed, to say the least with his cat-like eyes narrowing at the both of them. "Some of us actually want to graduate here."

"Chill out man. We're sorry." Jackson gives Jungkook a small tight-lipped smile. "We'll talk later."

"We will?"

Jackson gives him a slap on the back. "Yeah it's a given. You and I," he gestures between the two of them. "We should stick together. Being that we're both new around here and we both studying med. Also, was going to wait to tell you but I wanna go to this awesome party that goes on that kicks off the year. You'd think I'd be confident to go by myself but if you're free, I could use a buddy."

A party. Some blonde-haired boy who could very likely become the center of attention wants him, Jeon Jungkook, to go to a party? Jungkook spends most of his time playing video games, studying chem tables, and watching p—well he shouldn't say that part out loud.

"If you don't want to then I get it." Jackson scratches his head. "I don't wanna pressure you or anything. We did just meet and I just thought you looked cool so...."

"Okay." Jungkook accepts before giving it much thought. Besides studying, he was told college was a time to also let loose and have fun. Freedom and all that. That's what his friends back home told him at least. They also mentioned getting laid but...who would give him that fat chance?

If anything, maybe he'll get a friend by going to this little party. Jungkook shoots a small smile in return.

"Okay listen," Jackson says, opening the door to his black Lexus. "I heard this party gets crazy so just be smart and don't get into too much punch."

Jungkook hops in the passenger seat. "But I love punch." He straps his seatbelt in, totally unaware of the punch Jackson"s referring to.

"It's spiked Kook. And I'm guessing your alcohol tolerance is pretty low?" Jackson twists the key and pulls out of the campus parking lot. He doesn't mean to be insulting or anything but his new buddy doesn't look like the party-hardy kinda guy.

In fact, Jungkook decided to....well, wear a hat to this gig. It's not a baseball cap, beanie, or even a greasy cowboy hat.

It's a sunhat. Black at least.

"By the way Jungkook. I don't wanna sound like a dick or anything but can you explain the thing on your head? Because the rest of you looks great, black dress shirt and jeans."

"Oh um." Jungkook rubs his hands on his thighs. He's embarrassed to tell Jackson the truth but he's his buddy now, right? Maybe this can be a bonding thing for them. "I thought it was cute? I mean I wanna...ah." Jungkook lets out a nervous chuckle.

"What is it, man? I promise I won't judge."

"I wanna," he starts again. "Uhm you see I heard that if you wear something out of the ordinary that people will like you more or something. Like they'll be interested..."

"Mhm, cute and out of the ordinary things huh? What kind of people are you trying to impress Jungkook?" Jackson gives a knowing smirk. Who knew his buddy schemes these kinds of stuff.

Jungkook speeds through the answer. "Grs."

"Say it properly and slower."

"Wanna get a girl....woman! I mean...a woman." Jungkook sheepishly grins at Jackson. Please don't laugh at me, he begs silently.

"You dog!" Jackson pushes Jungkook's shoulder. "My little buddy is a man, well well well. So are you looking for a girlfriend or something else?"

"Wife!" Jungkook bugs out his eyes, no hesitation at all. Jackson struggles not to give even the slightest snort. Didn't Jungkook know what kind of party this is?

"That's very sweet but this isn't the place you're going to find a wife, Jungkook. That's more like if we were going to a speed dating thing....this, this is a frat party, little bro."

Jackson pulls up to the front of the giant, lit-up house. They could hear electronic music blasting outside and all over the lawn were shirtless guys and scantily-dressed women. Some were off making out while others were drinking in groups.

Jungkook tenses at the sight. He used to fancy black tie parties where everyone is dressed to the hill and drinking is moderate. Jackson is right, he is not finding a wife here. Dammit. But he really doesn't want to give up his hat.

"Yo Jackson," a guy with pitch-black hair greets the man with a fist bump. So that's how it's done, Jungkook observes. "Glad you could make it!"

"Jae-beom, what's good man?! I wouldn't miss this party for the world. I brought a friend." He ushers Jungkook to come forward. "This is Jungkook. He's in my class."

"Nice to meet you Jungkook!" Jae-beom moves in for a fist bump which ends up making contact with Jungkook's fist. It's not as sharp as with Jackson but it's a fist bump. "I used to work with Jackson over the summer. Always stealing my tips this man!"

"Hey, I did not do that!" Jackson gives a hearty laugh and shoves Jae-beom hard enough for him to lose his balance a little. "You kept leaving for a smoke. I had to wait your tables half the time!"

"I wasn't going for a smoke Jack—woah hey baby. What's your name?" The man shifts his focus to the girl walking past them. She has bright red lipstick, a black crop top, and jean shorts.

"Fuck off." She snaps before looking at Jungkook. "Cute hat by the way."

Everyone looks at Jungkook at that moment who's motionless. They hope to god he says something back but he only stares. The girl smirks at him and quirks her head to the side. "What's your name? I gotta friend who'd be all over you in a heartbeat, though she'd never admit it."

Jackson throws a mouth over his hand, eyes wide in amusement. This girl did not just propose Jungkook, his buddy who's looking for a wife, to get off with her friend.

"Um...yeah no. No, it's okay but thanks." Jungkook can barely sound the words. This girl in front of him was really, really hot but intimidating. "Yes thank you but I'm looking for a..."

"Don't-" Jackson lunges forward.

"Wife." Jungkook smiles at the girl a little too angelically. "I'm Jungkook though. What's your name?"

The girl bites her lip. "Well, it's too bad then Jungkook. Because you're so fucking cute and I know you'd like each other. Why don't you meet her? Even if it's just to say hi?"

Jungkook looks at Jackson who only shrugs. "Up to you man."

Jungkook makes his way through the heavy crowd. He bumps into a few people on the way but thankfully he's able to still see the girl, apparently who goes by Crystal.

Jungkook isn't convinced it's her real name but if that's what she wants to be called who is he to dispute?

Once they get to the other side of the room, Jungkook spots a woman with a tight black dress on. It falls mid-thigh and has laced-up sides. When they near the woman Jungkook feels himself sweating bullets.

"__!" Crystal taps on your shoulder. "I brought you, someone, to meet. This is Jungkook!"

You turn around, drink in hand. You look fucking stunning. Jungkook can't believe it's you. He's seeing you again and he wishes he didn't wear this damn hat now! He goes to yank it off but Crystal stops him.

"Hey, the hat's cute. Keep it on!"

"I-but," he looks at you. "But it's making me hot." You're making me hot.

You give a shrug. "Do what you want Jungkook. It's your head at stake." You take a sip of your drink. You really did not expect to see the shy guy from this morning be at a frat party. "Good to see you again."

"Oh, you know each other?"

"We had a slight run in this morning. Baby had to get to the science building." You take a scan at what he's wearing. Black shirt that cuts at the elbows, denim jeans, and sneakers. Not bad compared to the sweater he was wearing this morning.

"I'm—I'm not a baby." Jungkook can't stop himself from feeling offended. Whether you meant it to be condescending or not, he doesn't want to be seen as a baby! Especially not to you. "I'm a man, okay? I go to the gym and stuff."

"Okay I'm sorry," you say. "I just call everyone baby. I didn't mean anything."

That doesn't seem to relax Jungkook. "I can lift a fuck ton of weights too." He stops once he hears himself cuss out loud. Usually, he does that in his head....goddamn it.

"Mmm," you step towards him, careful not to touch him. Usually by now you'd already be in the bathroom getting railed by some punk but not tonight. Jungkook has your attention. "Can you now? I'm not sure if I believe you. You're kind of a twig, not to be rude or anything."

Jungkook's face turns to a darker shade, eyes piercing into yours. "I can show you I'm not lying."

"Go ahead, do what you will." You fake a yawn until you find yourself suddenly in his arms. They're a lot stronger and more muscular than you thought. "Jungkook! Put me down!"

Everyone at the party starts staring over, giggling at each other. Jungkook gives a satisfied grin. "I have you in my arms, what are you gonna do now? Not believe me again?"

"I-" You're certain your face glowing with embarrassment. "Um no, I believe you Jungkook. Please, set me down."

"Not til you say it --." He challenges-brat. "Say I'm not a baby."

"Jungkook I told you I call everyone baby. It wasn't-okay you're not a baby. Obviously, you lift a lot now please put me down."

Finally, he does what you ask, a proud face on. His hat is a little crooked so you reach out and fix it. It's a reflexive response, you don't even know what you're doing let alone Jungkook.

"Oh, sorry your hat was just-"

"Please go out with me. On a date I mean?" He's so terribly timid but he can't help himself now. He had you in his arms and you're just so beautiful and charming. He needs to know more about you. It's a must.

"Well, I-" Everyone waits for your answer, very nosy clearly. You look at Jungkook with his big eyes and pouty lips. You don't wanna say no but relationships aren't your thing. And it seems that is defiantly all he's in for.

Jungkook's shoulders sulk. He isn't expecting a yes but he was hoping that maybe you'd give him a tiny chance.

"Come on __," Crystal whispers. "Look at him. Don't you think he's cute? Like really cute?"

You look at your best friend with weary eyes. He's so cute but, there's that but. That relationship but. He's going to be the type to want to do all the couple things and snuggle and everything. Jungkook needs someone who is willing to do all the stuff and you? You're not good at any of it.

"I'm sorry Jungkook," you start. "I don't know if-"

"One date __. If it's a no I won't bother you again. I just....I just think you're really gorgeous and I wanna get to know you. That's all." He takes the hat off his head, letting his fluffy hair run free. You kinda wanna touch it if it didn't makes things weird.

His words, however, make your heart thump the tiniest amount. The only time you've ever been called gorgeous is when guys try to get in your bed. It's all you've known other than maybe from a relative. Gorgeous is used pretty regularly, you know that, but this time it's used in an entirely different context.

"I'll tell you what," he says, pulling out his phone. "I'll give you my number and if you change your mind text me or call. I won't bug you and you can delete it right after this if you want, I promise."

You end up taking his number and Jungkook leaves to go back to his buddies. "You should go out with him __," Crystal says.

"I don't know." You watch him stride away. "I'll think about it."

A/N: what am i doing? Idk im running away now bye! lmk what you think and tysm for reading! Comment/ask to be on taglist 💞

Masterlist

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

#bangtanbathhouse #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #bts smut #bts fanfic #bts imagine #bts x reader #fic:lovesremedyonfire #kookslastbutton

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wannab-urs · 6 months

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Title: Something Sweet

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: You’re new to the team in Colombia and all alone on your birthday. Your partner, Javier Peña, decides to do something sweet for you.

Tags: Set vaguely during season 1 before Javi gets extra angsty, canon compliant-ish, reader feeling lonely, sassy!reader, flirty!javi, alcohol (wine), brief mention of a gun bc I feel like a DEA agent wouldn’t just answer the door all willy nilly, kissing, javi asking for consent, but y’all did share a bottle of wine, kissing, fingering f receiving, marking, unprotected PinV, cuddling. I always write angsty Javi, but this is FLUFF, so sorry if it’s OOC, I’m slightly out of my element here.

WC: 2107

A/N: This fic is a birthday gift for @psychedelic-ink. Sil, you’re a wonderful friend and you do so much for the Pedro Pascal Fandom community on top of being an incredible writer. So, with some help from @pedrorascal with the beautiful gifs, I schemed up a little fic for you. I hope you love it! Happy Birthday and Happy Holidays AHHHH.

Moving to a new country two weeks before your birthday, which also happens to be Christmas Eve, is not ideal. You moved to Colombia from Miami after a promotion, earning a spot on the elite team working to catch Pablo Escobar.

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind, trying to catch up on all the facts of the case. You have to learn every sicario by sight and all of their names, aliases, and frequent hang outs. You have to learn about everything Escobar has done in Colombia, all the cartels and how they connect, it’s all extremely exhausting and time consuming.

Which is why you have no friends yet, unless you count your new partners Javier Peña and Steve Murphy. Which you don’t. You barely know them, and from what you’ve seen so far, Peña is an asshole. Steve might be okay, but you just haven’t had time to get to know him yet.

You take off your windbreaker and hang it on the back of your chair. It’s kind of ridiculous that you have to work on Christmas Eve, but there’s no rest for the wicked and therefore no rest for you either. You sit down and open the first file on your desk, immediately getting down to business without so much as a greeting for your partners.

A couple hours into the work day, a shadow darkens your desk. “What do you want, Peña?”

“God damn, hermosa. Touchy today? I brought you a coffee.” Peña sets the cup of lukewarm black slop on your desk and leans further into your space, peeking at the files you’re reading.

“Yes, actually. Did you need something or did you just come over here to bother me?”

“I just came over here to compliment your nails, actually,” he takes your hand in his, inspecting your nails, and then looks into your eyes. “I like the color. Suits you.”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks. Peña is cute. Gorgeous, really, but you don’t make a habit of flirting with your coworkers. “Thanks… They were my birthday gift to myself.” You tug your hand away from him and place it in your lap.

“It’s your birthday?” He asks, still leaning much too far into your personal space. You nod and look back down at the file.

“I have to get back to work now,” you almost whisper to him, all your bitter snark from earlier replaced by a sense of melancholy. There’s not a soul in this entire country who knows it’s your birthday today. Aside from Javier, now, you guess. Javier lingers for another moment before pushing off your desk and leaving you to your work.

You’re starting to pack up for the day when Peña comes up to your desk again, sitting on the corner.

“So what are your plans tonight?” he asks.

“Huh?” You don’t have any plans. A phone call from your friend in Miami and a bottle of Chilean wine maybe.

“Your plans? For your birthday?”

“Oh. I don’t have any. Don’t really know anyone yet so…” you trail off. You feel kind of pathetic, even though you know it’s completely reasonable to not have a group of friends yet.

“Me and Murphy could take you out?”

“Oh um–”

“Actually, Jav,” Steve calls out from his desk. “Me and Connie have plans tonight. Christmas Eve and all,” he gives you an apologetic look.

“It’s fine really. I’m gonna have a nice relaxing night in. Thanks though.” You put on the best smile you can and head for the door.

You hang up the phone after your short call with your friend. It’s expensive to call long distance, but she stayed on with you as long as she could. She told you all about her new boyfriend and that everyone had wished you a Happy Birthday and Happy Holidays. You’re grateful she didn’t ask about your job or your love life.

As you pop the cork on a bottle of wine, there’s a knock on your door. You stare at the door questioningly, as if it will tell you who’s there. Who on earth could be knocking at your door at 8pm on Christmas Eve?

You grab your gun and sneak over to the door, peeking through the peephole. Broad shoulders and a dark head of hair are all you can make out through the tiny lens. Javier? You set your gun on the side table and pull open the door.

“Peña? What are you doing here?”

He turns around and holds his hands out to you. “Brought you something.” He’s holding a birthday cake, clearly store bought, decorated with a generic “Feliz cumpleaños” scrawled on top. A bright smile lights up your face.

“Oh Javi, you didn’t have to!”

“I wanted to. You gonna invite me in for some cake?” He raises his eyebrows at you.

“Oh! Yeah sure. Come in!” You step to the side to let him through and close and lock the door behind him. “Sorry about the mess. I’m not fully unpacked yet.”

“I’ve been here for 7 years and I’m not fully unpacked. It’s fine.” Javi reassures you. He sets the cake down on your kitchen counter and starts rifling around for plates and silverware.

“I can do that,” you try to move him out of the way, but he’s having none of it.

“No, it’s your birthday. Let me. You pour yourself a glass of wine and go sit on the couch.”

“Fine… thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

You grab a couple glasses and the bottle of wine and carry it to the living room with you. You’re kind of shocked he’s here. He’s always flirty in the office, but he’s like that with everyone. He’s not what you’d call friendly otherwise. Maybe he just feels bad for you.

Javier drops down onto the couch beside you holding two plates with hefty slices of chocolate cake. He hands you one of the plates and a fork. “Happy birthday. I’m not going to make you do the whole candle thing.”

“Thank you, Javier. This is really, really nice.” You feel like you might cry. It’s just cake, but you felt so alone, and it’s like he really saw you. He saw through whatever exterior shell you were wearing and decided to try to make your day better.

“Just Javi is fine. And it’s not a big deal, really. You deserve something sweet on your birthday,” he says looking down at the cake in his hands.

“It is to me. A big deal, I mean,” you say softly before taking a bite of the cake. It’s nothing special, just a plain chocolate cake, but it means so much to you.

You and Javier, Javi, chat about where you’re from and how you came to work for the DEA. You tell him about living in Miami, about the promotion that brought you here. You finish the bottle of wine and a couple more pieces of cake and the conversation doesn’t stop for a long time.

Late in the evening, you finish a story about your 6th birthday, one your aunt always told to the whole family every single year at your birthday dinner. He’s sitting close to you, his thigh pressed against yours despite there being plenty of room on the couch to sit without touching. It makes your heart flutter a little.

You don’t know if it’s the wine or what, but the little crush you have on him is getting pretty hard to ignore. Javi smirks at you, reaches up, and brushes his thumb over the corner of your lip.

“Got a little icing there, cariño,” he says, his voice lower and huskier than it has been all night. He brings the icing smeared thumb to his mouth and sucks it between his lips. Your eyes track the movement, pupils blowing wide. He really is pretty.

You feel yourself lean in toward him, almost unconsciously chasing that thumb to his mouth. He brings his hand up to your cheek and searches your eyes for a moment. He must see what he was looking for because he pulls you closer and presses his lips to yours.

His lips are soft, warm, gentle on yours. You grab his face in your hands, not wanting him to pull away yet. He slips his tongue along the seam of your lips and you part them, letting him in. You’re not sure who makes the move, but slowly, your back is lowered to the couch, Javi a comfortable weight on top of you. Your hands explore his broad shoulders, the muscles of his back, his trim waist, as he plunders your mouth with his tongue.

“Can I touch you?” He rasps against your lips.

“You already are,” you giggle. “Sorry. Yes, Javi.”

He huffs a laugh into your mouth and slips a hand into your lounge pants, fingers finding your dripping seam. “Wet for me already, hermosa?”

Your cheeks heat up in slight embarrassment, but you nod. You’re soaked just from kissing him. By the feel of him against your thigh, he’s not better off. He pushes two fingers inside you and presses his lips back to yours. You gasp into his mouth, hands fisting in the back of his shirt.

His fingers immediately find the spongy spot deep in your core. He curls them, dragging the pads of his fingers along your g-spot with every pump of them inside you. You cling tightly to him, burying your face in his shoulder.

“Come for me, baby.”

Your body responds to his command instantly, the tension in your belly releasing into waves of pleasure. Your cunt flutters around his fingers and you whine into his neck as he works you through it. You collapse back onto the couch, and he wastes no time dragging your pants off you.

You hear the clink of his belt opening, the sound of it hitting the floor. You sit up on your elbows to watch him as he strips off the rest of his clothes. You bite your lip, drinking in the sight of the gorgeous man before you.

He takes your hands in his and pulls you to your feet before pulling your tank top off you. “Shit, hermosa,” he whispers almost reverently as he takes one of your tits in his large hand, rolling the nipple between two fingers. “Gorgeous.”

He kisses you again, wrapping his strong arms around your body and pushing his chest flush with yours. “Bedroom, cariño?”

You walk him back to your room, barely separating your lips from his for the entire journey. You fall back on your bed and he follows, settling between your legs. His lips drag down your jaw line to your neck as he lines himself up with your entrance. Javi sucks a mark just below your collarbone as he slowly thrusts inside you.

You wrap your legs around his hips and pull him deeper into you, whining at the stretch. “Fuck, Javi.”

“Working on it, cariño,” he teases as he bottoms out inside you. He pushes himself up on his elbows and stares into your eyes as he pulls out and thrusts back in smoothly. Your mouth falls open, a little huff spilling out as he bottoms out again. He feels so fucking good inside you.

Javi sets a steady pace, thrusting into you hard and slow, eyes never leaving yours. When your eyes flutter shut and your back starts to arch in pleasure, he slips his arm under your back, pulling your hips higher on his thighs. The new angle is everything. You gasp out a moan every time his cock punches deep inside you.

Javi is everything in this moment. Your world narrowed to the feeling of his cock pounding into you at that same maddeningly slow, hard rhythm. You feel yourself tightening around him, feel a coil winding in your belly tighter and tighter.

Javi’s lips find yours again with a kiss that’s more a clash of teeth and tongues than anything as you come hard on his cock. Javi lets out a low groan into your mouth at the way you squeeze him. He thrusts into you a few more times, fucking you through your high, before he quickly pulls out and spills all over your belly.

He rests his forehead on yours for a moment, catching his breath. He kisses you deeply one more time before falling to the bed beside you. Javi pulls you into his arms, not paying any mind to the mess he made on your stomach. He holds you close, kissing the top of your head.

“Happy Birthday, cariño.”

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buckys-little-belle · 3 months

Note

Hi!! I love your story’s and am always looking for little and daddy Bucky story’s!! I was wondering if you could do insecure reader who’s bigger. She has bigger thighs a bigger tummy and face. Could you do reader is scared to sit on buckys lap or for him to pick her up and carry her around the house. She’s too scared she’s heavy and will crush him and his legs. or that he will drop her because she’s too big. She also never cuddles and sleeps with him in his room always sleeping in her room after he puts her to bed because she’s scared about her breathing or how she sleeps.

Bucky gets her to tell him why and then comfort. Just fluff fluff fluff. If your not comfortable writing this I totally understand!!! If you do could you ad paci use? Thank you!!! Sorry for the rambling…

Strongest Man Alive

Bucky Barnes x Plus Sized!Little!Reader (She/Her Pronouns Used)

Notes - This is not my best work, and has been in my drafts for MONTHS, it's something cute, and a little angsty at the beginning, but it does get super fluffy at the end. It's a little bit different than my usual writting style, so I apologize for that, but I do hope you like it and if not I'm so sorry! I hope I did this ask justice, and I hope everyone is having a good week!!! <3

Warnings - Talks of reader being self conscious for being 'bigger', kept very vague as she uses the words "heavy" and "squishy" to describe her body type instead of more concrete descriptions, the use of a pacifier is very brief as it's something I'm not used to writing, though I would be willing to continue, mentions of reader eating food "snacks" and "sandwich" though never specified, FLUFF at the end, but there is a moment of angst, I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS A COHEARANT STORY, it's from the drafts and I gave it a once over and I think it's 'good enough' so I apologize if it's terrible <3

SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and this blog, SFW.

. ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ .

Y/n often spent their time at the Avengers tower sitting, standing, lingering around Bucky Barnes. It wasn't on purpose, the man just seemed to be the other half of some magnet imbedded deep in Y/n's heart. He just had some ability to pull her towards him.

Maybe it was the way he cut her sandwiches into perfect triangles, or the way his hand always found hers when she got scared. Maybe it was the way he seemed to be reserved around anyone but her that made her feel so connected to him.

He never sulked but always seemed to walk around with a frown stuck on his face, only ever changing it to a smile when she walked by his office or stopped by his room.

As much as Y/n felt like she was pulled to him, Bucky felt it multiplied by 100. His hands always aching to hold hers, his chest always feeling heavy when he began to think about her needing something and him not being around to help her.

The whole tower knew about Y/n's regression. Wanda and Peter often joined in, hanging out in little space and colouring in books Tony had provided, watching whatever new animated movie had just come out and sleeping over in makeshift tents in the living room.

Often other Avengers would help supervise activities, Steve loved playing action fighters in the common areas, Nat loved cuddle puddle on the couch, and Thor was always ready for a park day. Bucky on the other hand liked to stay in the shadows, buying stickers for the group of littles, making them lunch and dropping it off.

Bucky only stuck around if Y/n asked him to hang out with her. "Bucky can you hold my hand?" She had asked him when at the park, he of course grabbed her hand and helped her up the jungle gym.

"Bucky can you open this please?" She had whispered during a movie, her baggie full of snacks too difficult to manage on her own. He opened the baggie and held it in his own grasp, handing her a piece of candy anytime she had finished the previous one.

"Bucky will you colour with me?" She had yelled her ask one day when he was passing by the kitchen, Y/n sat at the island with markers scattered across the marble. He silently sat down and diligently coloured the page she had given him, helping her chase markers that had fallen.

He knew she was comfortable asking for what she wanted, and he knew she wasn't afraid of him ... so, it made his chest tighten every time she asked him to grab something from the top shelf instead of asking to be lifted like Wanda and Peter often asked.

He also felt off every time a little would come running out of their room after a nightmare, rushing into someone's room for a cuddle, yet Y/n's door never opened and neither did his.

Bucky was sure it was his fault she didn't seek him out for cuddles, he thought he had done something wrong when she never asked for a hug. Was it his arm? Was she scared he would turn on her? He couldn't figure it out.

That is until he realised she never asked anyone for a cuddle, or a hug. Nat, Wanda, and Peter would be all comfy on the couch and Y/n would be sat on the chair, a small frown on her face yet she never tried to find a spot next to her friends. And when she scraped her knee on the playground she declined Thor's offer of a "healing" hug.

"Y/n?" His voice was quiet but direct as he called out into the playroom, Y/n sat on the softly coloured rug, her stuffed animals scattered about.

"Hi Bucky!" She smiled, her pacifier tumbling out of her mouth and onto the ground.

"Hi." He sat down across from her, quickly pocketing the fallen pacifier before sought out the, now, dirty thing. "What are you playing?" His hands brushed a stuffed teddy, Y/n tilting her head in confusion as she looked around her.

"'m just dressen 'm up." She smiled at him, grabbing a stuffed unicorn and brushing it's fur back into place, shuffling closer to Bucky as she gathered a few other stuffed animals.

The moment her knees hit his she shifted back, so Bucky shifted his towards her again. Like clockwork she moved and left a small gap between them. "Y/n?"

"Mhm." She looked back at him, her smile one he could easily read through.

"Am I scary?" He asked calmly, not once loosing eye contact as she shook her head 'no'. "Do I smell?" He asked, this time with a laugh.

"No!" She giggled.

"Then why do you run every time I touch you." Instead of answering she bowed her head, hands running over the stuffed animal anxiously. "Why don't you hug Wanda or Peter?" He was worried that all the questions would make her want to run, but as she huffed and leaned into his space slightly he continued. "I know Thor was pretty sad when you declined his hug the other day." That one wasn't a lie, the man had gone on a rant about how he thought he had done something wrong, how he was sure Y/n hated him.

"I jus', I don' want them t' be mad." She admitted, huffing at the end of her sentence. "'m jus', 'm heavy, an' squishy. Wanda and Pete aren't heavy an' squishy." She admitted, eyes locked on the wall, the stuffed unicorn held a little closer to her body.

"What do you mean Baby?" Bucky asked, confused as to what she was alluding to.

"It's harder t' pick me up." She finally looked back at him, tears beginning to gather along her waterline. "And cuddling wif me wouldn' be th' same." She shrugged, trying to play it off like she wasn't bothered by her own words.

The tightness in Bucky's chest didn't ease up with his answer, his worry only growing. He had hoped it was an easy thing to fix, yet knowing Y/n didn't hug her friends, or him, because she felt too big made him hurt. "Baby," He began, not giving Y/n a second to doubt him, he picked her up and sat her in his lap. "you aren't 'too heavy' to pick up." He hated how quickly she curled into his chest, how clear it was that she was missing human connection. "I'm the strongest man alive, and you saying that you're too heavy is going to bruise my ego a bit, Baby." They both laughed, a few of Y/n's tears hitting the fabric of Bucky's shirt.

"I thought Steve was th' strongest man alive?"

"I let him win when we arm wrestle." Bucky admitted, causing Y/n to break out into a fit of giggles.

"'m gonna tell him!" She stood up, bolting for the door.

"Oh no you don't!" Bucky ran after her, lifting her off her feet in the middle of the hallway, Y/n pausing with a gasp, bracing for the two of them to fall, yet laughing along with Bucky as jostled her around, threatening to take her new colouring page off the fridge if she told anyone his secret.

After a pinky promise and some juice Y/n began to trust Bucky a little bit more. She let him pick her up at the playground, and gave him a hug before bed every night. She still worried her hugs were 'bad', that maybe no one would want to hug her because she wasn't 'little' but Bucky never once complained, instead asking for hugs in the morning too.

It took her a while to truly trust that Bucky wasn't lying when he said his back didn't hurt after picking her up, but eventually she became comfortable enough to run and jump into his arms, something she had always dreamed of doing.

It wasn't until a month later that Bucky woke up at 4 am to the sound of Y/n's hurried footsteps rushing to his door. Light creeping in from the opened door she didn't close as she ran to his bed. The sound of soft cries and whispers of "Nightmare" filling the usually quiet space.

Instead of letting her think too much about how she 'should' be cuddling, Bucky just scooped her up and tucked her into his bed, letting her know he'd protect her, and her stuffed animal. He liked having her in his room, it made him feel at ease knowing she was close.

After a few months of staying in Bucky's room, Y/n began to get out of her shell a bit more, hugging Wanda and Peter, and eventually accepting Thor's 'healing' hugs. She finally joined in during the weekly cuddle puddle, laughing along side Nat and her friends as they all got cozy on the couch. And for the first time ever she let someone else, the second strongest man alive, Steve Rogers pick her up. A pride filled movement the man would never forget.

Even though it took her a little longer than everyone else to be comfortable hugging and snuggling, she was happy to finally be apart of the group in ways she wasn't before. Bucky, the man who still often stayed in the shadows, helping from a distance, couldn't help but feel a little lighter every time he saw his girl get over her worries, knowing if anything got to be 'too much' she'd come running to him.

#buckys little belle #anon #age regression #little!reader #age regression fic #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x little!reader #bucky x little!reader #bucky

281 notes · View notes

excalibur-gone-missing · 2 months

Text

Paring: jeonghan x fem!reader

Requested: yes [Can you please write something angsty for prince DK? Or if this is too vague, what do you think about a bet au with Jeonghan?] [By anon]

Genre: angst, coworkers to lovers, fluff, fuckboy au, opposites au, bet au

Warning(s): misogyny, jeonghan is an asshole and so is seungcheol, [if you find more pls inform ]

Summary: Jeonghan had plans on never talking to the quite coworker they hired, but like doesn't always pan out the way we want to. But when you add money to the problem, plus both your feelings, you have the perfect recipe for disaster.

Word count: 5.2k

Other works

disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.

a/n: I request each and every one of you to comment on this fic don't be a silent reader it helps me as an author to understand my readers and i would love to communicate with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcomed by me so do talk about this fic or send me an ask. Plus, if you loved it enough don't forget to reblog, it will help me reach a larger audience.

a/n 2: i hope it was what you wanted, thanks for the ask btw!

Everyone at the office knew that Jeonghan was a free spirit, he worked hard and partied even harder. He like living his life in the most happening way possible. Be it weekend trips, bike trips to the mountains or staying in the countryside for a week and working remote while enjoying the serenity that comes with it, he was down for anything.

Funnily enough he was referred to as the least energetic person in his friend group. So, one can imagine overzealous they normally were.

His work more often than not was impeccable, no one could fault him at all. The rising star of the corporate world they called him at the office. In his five years at the job the man had garnered more approval than anyone else.

He liked his life, and he would not trade it for anything else.

Now, unlike Jeonghan you resided on the other side of the spectrum. Your kind of life was pretty monotonous waking up before your alarm, making your bed, skipping meals, and surviving on coffee, reaching, and leaving work on the dot and crying while rewatching your favorite shows, was your kind of life. You like staying in during the weekends and cleaning up the mess you make in your living space during the weekdays and trying everything in your power to not upset your cat while doing so.

Its calm, chill, maybe a bit boring but it worked for you and brought you peace.

You were the newest recruit in your office and from the first day you captured the attention of most of your coworkers for your meticulous and polite words.

More often than not you refuse to talk to your coworkers ensuring that there stays a professional boundary between you all and if they would not catch onto your behavior, you would politely decline them.

Never that interested in networking, you refuse to talk to more people than you need to.

Jeonghan caught onto it pretty early, but why did it matter to him what you did, so like everyone else he went on his own way and simply chose to ignore you.

Ten months into your new job was when you first had a real conversation with the man. It was pretty late at night, both of you had to stay back for overtime. That was when you saw him struggling with his presentation for the next day’s meeting.

That day you broke the ‘no talking to my coworkers rule unless and until it’s very important’ rule.

“what’s the problem?” you politely asked the man.

“Oh, I am having slight problem with the numbers here,” the man replies looking visibly confused and surprised.

“If you want, I can help you out” you kindly stated as Jeonghan casually just turned his laptop towards you.

So, for the next one and half hours you both sat there and diligently worked on the presentation and by the end of it the material looked rather good and presentation worthy.

Looking extremely grateful the pretty man said, “I am so thankful you helped me out today, so why don’t I repay you by dropping you off at your house, it’s pretty late you know.”

Looking at your watch you politely replied, “no worries, plus if I rush a bit, I can catch the last bus home so please don’t bother.”

Jeonghan looked bummed at this, but he was obliged nonetheless as he knew you to be an introverted lady and he did not want to make you uncomfortable.

The next time you and Jeonghan had a conversation, was again at a night when you both were staying at the office over time. By this time, you have become pretty comfortable with each other, not enough to hold a conversation but enough to spare a quick nod and a smile while passing by each other’s cubicles.

He was done with the day’s work and was about to leave the office when he noticed you hunched over your laptop looking frustratingly at your screen which showed you an open excel sheet with infinite numbers.

Feeling like he owed you the help, Jeonghan strode towards you and calmly said “let me see.”

Jumping in shock you looked at him and replied, “oh no don’t bother I can figure it out you should go home it’s pretty late you know.”

Tsking at your reply he grabbed a chair to sit beside you while saying “it’s only fair, you helped me out so I should help you now.”

You let him, in actuality you needed that little help from him, the data entries were annoying you and you absolutely did not like it one bit.

Just like that time passed by again resulting in the clock to show that it was quarter past one by the time you both were done.

This time though Jeonghan shut down all your protests to go about his own way and your reluctance to inconvenience him with a simple “it’s pretty late and I won’t let you get followed by some creeps on the road plus the last bus is gone anyways so you are coming with me.”

On the way he stopped at a convenience store to get some dinner for you both and you devoured your ramen while chatting with him.

You both were pretty similar, in some cases for example you both had this extreme love for Legos that existed beyond measurable amounts, both of you loved your pets to death, albeit his was a rock and yours was a cat, but as he said “we don’t discriminate peoples pets here, they can have what they want to but given its legal and safe for the pet.”

On the other hand, Jeonghan liked you too, he was happy he could be the first one to break your shell to meet the real you and he was proud of this. It was close to an achievement for him.

“Han like this new chick in his office.”

Joshua loudly announced to the group of boys sprawled in his living room one evening. Jeonghan’s friends had come to his house to hang out and to get drunk out of their wits to forget the stress of the tedious weekend they had. They were all friends from college, now working jobs in the most contrasting industries ever like Seungcheol was the manager for their states football club and Soonyoung was a choreographer working with famous celebrities, Hansol on the other hand was the proud of a pet shelter and the one and only Joshua was an English history professor who most days worked overtime at the university. But at the end of the day, they were all the loud and obnoxious assholes he knew and loved from his younger days, and nothing could compare to that.

“Really you never told us about this one hyung?” Mingyu enquires.

“Nah she is just a new hire at the office, does not like talking to people at all. She is more antisocial than Wonwoo’s ass.”

“Really now, antisocial?” Seungcheol enquires, not missing Jeonghan’s defensive tone.

“Yes, Cheol antisocial, plus I don’t even know her enough,” the male says while rolling his eyes at his friends interest with you.

“Maybe you could talk to her and get her out of her shell, you are a pretty good mediator in our group I think you could do that,” pipes up the ever so benevolent Seokmin.

“Yes, you could,” Seungcheol joins him smirking a bit.

Now thoroughly annoyed Jeonghan exclaims “no I cannot. The only way someone can get that stuck up bitch out of her shell will be fucking her or something and I do not want to do so!”

“What if I pay you, will you do it then,” Seungcheol says still smirking.

“Do what?”

“Fuck her enough to get her out of her shell.”

The whole room goes silent at that statement.

“Hyung, I don’t think it’s right,” the youngest of them, Chan, suddenly speaks.

“Yes, its morally incorrect man,” Jeonghan agrees.

“I will pay you, plus life is pretty boring. This will give us something to talk about for at least the next year,” the oldest explains still smiling a bit.

“I agree with the others, its emotionally taxing and nothing good will come out of doing something like this man, plus what are we teenagers making bets about emotionally harming others?” Joshua says.

“Jeonghan, you do it and I will give you a thousand bucks,” the oldest says calmly. At the same time all the men in the room let out an exasperated sigh, knowing there is no winning with this stubborn man, while hoping silently that Jeonghan does not succumb to the greed.

But alas they were wrong, so wrong. An amount that lucrative will only be passed by a fool and Jeonghan was no such thing. He stood up from his place at the loveseat and confidently strode over to Seungcheol.

“You better keep your fucking word,” he says while shaking the older man’s hand.

While Seungcheol smiles and says, “you know what you complete the bet within the next six month I’ll give you a five thousand and if you don’t end up doing it, you gotta pay me pal.”

After that evening with his friends, Jeonghan was pretty stressed, because why should he not be? Making you sleep with him is hard enough, but making a situationship out of it sounds even harder. Now he thoroughly regrets accepting the bet.

You on the other hand are pretty happy and quiet as you often are. Very much unaware of his internal turmoil, as you keep talking excitedly about the new Lego death star you bought.

Yes, you and Jeonghan have bonded quite a bit these past few days, he likes spending time with you too, and so do you. It is a nice and comfortable friendship you both have built, and you like it.

“Why don’t you let me come to your place this weekend, and we can build the set together. We can get takeout later too,” he suddenly speaks up shocking you with such forward proposition.

“Well only if you want to though no pressure, it’s just that I really wanted to build the death star and was planning to buy it but like couldn’t make enough time to do –”

“Sure, you can come,” you speak up stopping his nervous rant.

“Are you sure?” Jeonghan asks just to make sure he heard it correctly.

“Yes, I am, it will be fun to build the Lego set together,” you say smiling.

“Yes, it would be, but like are you really sure,” he says again to make sure he is really not hard at hearing.

“Jeonghan if you ask me once again, I will take back what I just said.”

This makes him stop talking at all and he proceeds to show you his beautiful smile, making you feel a bit giddy inside.

“So, I will come this Saturday and we shall make the death star cuz we can,” he sings, making you bark out a laugh at him.

Little do you know you just poured a cool bucket of water on the burning flames on anxiety inside Jeonghan’s brain and he is extremely happy about that.

The next Saturday comes rolls in slowly, the tedious and boring week is over, and it is time for self-care and a lot of friendship building activities or that’s what you thought.

The man was mad and when you say mad you mean it. The Lego making only lasted for like two hours before he had hidden all the pieces of the part that you were making, resulting you to search for them all over the house. Moreover, after diligently searching and finding nothing, you had given up when he had produced all those pieces from his pockets shocking you to the core.

This little stunt had made you force him to pay for the takeout and when you were both fed and watered, he had proposed a game of chess. Only problem, you never knew one could cheat in this game too. He moved the pieces wrong.

Result. You both had the pettiest fight ever wherein the man with all his might tried to convince you that the rook was indeed supposed to move diagonally.

“You don’t understand, that is how the game is played. Are you sure you ever played this before?” he had asked.

“Hani you are wrong, please the rook never in its whole life moved diagonally, it always moved straight.”

“Maybe that is what your problem is, you are so uptight, you refuse to accept the differences in our opinions!”

“Oh, now I'm uptight, you are only being this difficult cuz you are losing!”

“I wouldn’t if you let me play the rook diagonally.”

“But that is not how it is played! Why don’t you—"

All your rants stop just like that, it took you at least five business days to actually realize that Jeonghan had kissed you. But once you got over that shock, you closed your eyes and moved your lips along with his.

Jeonghan, thoroughly exasperated by your intense argument, impulsively sought to quiet you by placing a soft, lingering kiss on your plump lips. Almost immediately, regret washed over him as he feared he had acted rashly at the worst possible moment. Mentally preparing to distance himself from you for the rest of your time together, he was taken aback when you reciprocated the kiss, instantly dissolving all his worries and leaving him pleasantly surprised.

You broke the kiss to take a breath, both looking visibly flustered.

“Do you want to stay the night, or do you want to go?” you asked him while looking at him with your sparkling eyes, making Jeonghan want to glue his ass to your house, but he being the gentleman he was declined the offer.

“I would really like to take you out on a date. As I really like you, so I won’t spoil my chances with you by staying tonight.”

To say you were surprised would be an understatement. You always thought of the man to be a Casanova, so the idea of him taking you on a date while simultaneously insinuating that he won’t take any harsh steps with you was a nice little change and you were all for it.

It was all smooth sailing after that.

Jeonghan took you to an amusement park for the date next Sunday and oh boy did you enjoy yourself to the fullest.

Both of you had the time of your lives. Making sure to go on every ride, play every game and eating every junk you found there. By the end of it you were visibly exhausted and elated with how the day went.

The following day you were visibly happier in the office and even had a small conversation with one of your coworkers.

This went on for the following month, with each and every date you opened up to Jeonghan more and more, and so did he.

He loved spending time with you and vice versa. It was during your regular Friday movie nights, a ritual you both had established as you both liked watching movies and bonded while talking about them, when Jeonghan absolutely bored with the movie scooted a bit too close to you in hopes of gaining your attention by annoying you, a typical Jeonghan move. When you both ended up making love on the couch.

This was only the start of a lot of escapades you would have with the man.

After that one night, Jeonghan was all over you at all times. Be it at the office or be it at home he was with you or texting you all the time. Your nights were now filled with heavy make outs and intense love making sessions.

Everybody at the office knew about you both. On top of that you were more extroverted than ever. You even went out with your coworkers for an office dinner. Somehow, Jeonghan was praised for the change he brought in you, and like his ‘kind’ self, he declined all those compliments with a gracious smile.

He didn’t like to say it out loud, but he liked your changed self, more than your reserved one. Plus, he also took credit for the change, but it’s not like he would tell you that anytime soon.

It was almost five months into dating Jeonghan, when he asked you to meet his friends. You knew he had a very loyal group of friends and you had never met them before. On the contrary Jeonghan had met your one and only best friend within only three months of dating. In the most best friend manner, the lady has hated his ass the whole-time side eyeing him constantly and leaving petty remarks here and there. But that night she had called you and told you something she didn’t ever say for any of your boyfriends “I can see he loves you a lot. For the first time you chose the correct guy.”

Getting your strict best friend to like Jeonghan was like clearing the first hurdle of your relation. For the first time, you were proud of your choice in men and especially your boyfriend.

“Oh, I would love to meet them, but would they like me,” you were rightfully concerned about the boys liking you. As much as you were independent, you would like to gain the approval of your boyfriend’s friends like any girlfriend.

“They are dorks through and through, they will love, don’t worry” he had said while kissing your forehead to calm you down.

“Plus, you will fit right in, they are nice people,” he later added.

That evening, Jeonghan had taken you to the Korean BBQ place downtown where they all were meeting. The night had started rocky but within an hour you were having fun with Mingyu and Seokmin, all worries forgotten. Jeonghan had looked at you with pride blooming in his chest with how happy you looked with his friends, enjoying yourself.

It seems that all the twelve of them had liked you a lot saying you were the perfect partner for Jeonghan, someone who could ground him at the same time let him be himself.

The BBQ party came to an end, but the boys still had a lot of energy, so they went to the karaoke next taking both you and Jeonghan with them. Although you were thoroughly exhausted, you had complied to go, seeing Jeonghan have so much fun was a sight you didn’t want to miss.

You had gone to the bathroom the first thing right after reaching the karaoke place, to wake you up and also to do your business. Seungkwan had accompanied you claiming, “all that soju and walking has made my bladder shake like never before!” it’s not a lie though, they did drink like it will be the last time they ever get to drink.

As you came out of the restroom, Seungkwan gave you a kind smile and said “I have never seen Jeonghan this happy before, not even with us. I'm sure he likes you a lot.”

Smiling at him you said, “I think I love him; I have not said that to him yet, but I really think I do.”

With a sassy ‘good for you’ from the one and only Boo, you both made your way to the room that your group had booked.

As you reached closer, you could hear all the boys talking to each other.

“I approve, she is an angel, she even consoled Soon when he cried” said one of them making you smile a bit. By this time Seungkwan had stopped with you too eavesdropping on his friends as he is as dramatic as one can be.

“She is nothing like what you described her to be you know, she is nice and kind and far from being stuck up,” someone else said.

“Nah she is not, that stuck up once you get to know her, contrary to that she is very cheery and I like her you know,” Jeonghan had replied making you feel extra giddy inside.

“Hey bro if you like her that much maybe we should call off the deal we made, I see how much you like her and if you ask me, I will say she is a keeper,” with this statement, a silence washed over the whole group. You looked at Seungkwan to understand what was happening, but the man refused to look at you still stubbornly pretending to listen to the conversation.

“I said I like her, not like her enough to let go of the five thousand you offered” you suddenly heard Jeonghan speak making you even more confused about the whole ordeal.

“I think you will regret it you let her go hyung,” Seokmin suddenly said with a very somber tone generating a lot of assertive noises from the group.

“She won’t bring me five thousand, plus I fucked her got into a relationship with her and made her the fun-loving bitch she is now. It was a tedious process, but I completed my work, so I deserve the money.”

It was hard hearing the man you loved so much make such a degrading comment. At this point you were shaking with emotions so much that even Seungkwan who refused to look at you during this whole time, had to hold you steady.

“Did you know about this,” you asked him.

The boy with his eyes downcast just nodded his head.

“I won’t even ask you why you didn’t tell me about it, I get it you are his friend makes sense.”

“Hey none of us wanted him to do anything like this, but your Jeonghan is unstoppable sometimes and about the wrong things.”

“I think I should get going, I’ve heard enough.”

“Hey y/n we like you a lot, so please stay in contact with us later, no matter what your verdict is,” the younger man pleaded with glistening eyes, making you almost accept the request out of pity.

You ignored everyone and strode into the room bustling with men, heading straight for the couch. Without hesitation, you grabbed your bag and, as you walked out, approached Jeonghan and delivered a firm slap to his face. "We're done," you declared before exiting the room without glancing at anyone else.

The minute you had left, Jeonghan felt his life crashing down on him. The looks of disapproval from his friends and the pure disappointment that radiated off you caught him off guard. He had thought he could get out of it with both the girl and the money, but suddenly he realized he didn’t even need the said money, he only needed you. The weight of his words came to haunt me as soon as he had spoken them.

He immediately attempted to follow you but was stopped by Seungkwan, “did you see her face, if you follow her now, she will resent you more. Not like you don’t deserve it, but you are still my friend.”

The tone of his voice showed how much he was upset with Jeonghan. So much so that the younger male could not even look at his face.

“You are my hyung, but you know what I like her more, never have I ever thought you would do something like this,” he continued, “I hope she never forgives you.”

Hearing that Jeonghan couldn’t control himself and punched Seungkwan and a fight broke out. The boys trying their best to resolve it.

“It’s already a mess, can you both stop making it worse!” Mingyu said as Seungkwan punched Jeonghan back square on the jaw.

“Tell that shit to not meddle in my business then” comes Jeonghan’s voice.

“Maybe if you didn’t break her heart I wouldn’t, she was a fucking nice person,” Seungkwan shouted back as Mingyu dragged him out.

The night was ruined, and it was all because of Jeonghan.

That night you came home and cried your heart out ignoring all the calls from Jeonghan and the other boys, with whom you had exchanged numbers during the hangout. Thankfully, it was a Sunday the next day, so you didn’t have to look at the man who broke your heart, but it pained you so much to even move a muscle. It was like your heart was ripped out of your body. The pain was immeasurable.

There were at least a hundred missed calls on your phone and thirty of them from all of the boys. Your best friend come to your place that Sunday and tried her best to console a sad you, but nothing could stop you from beating yourself up for trusting a man like him. it’s true you loved him, and you regrated doing so, you didn’t blame Jeonghan for breaking your heart, you blamed yourself for being weak enough for you to let Jeonghan do so to you, for letting the man step all over you like you were a piece of trash that had no place in the normal world. The degrading things that he had said about you kept echoing in your ears, making it hard for you to think of anything else.

It was like you had forgotten all about your vow to never let anyone step over you and take away a piece of you from yourself. You were so hurt that you refused to see Jeonghan at all. So, on the next Monday you asked your HR for a weeklong leave and the kind lady obliged owing to your stellar performance at your department.

You turned off your phone that week and went to stay with you friend as the house was too lonely for you and the more you stayed there, the more you felt the memories of you and Jeonghan coming to haunt you.

On that Monday, Jeonghan woke up with a newfound determination. He was resolved to confront you and explain that his hurtful words from that night stemmed from his own inability to accept his feelings. He believed that once he clarified his side of the story, your compassionate nature would lead you to forgive him. He was even prepared to humble himself, willing to beg for your forgiveness if necessary. However, fate intervened when he discovered you had taken a week-long leave from the office.

The realization of consequences hit him suddenly. Yes, he understood the gravity of his actions, but he was willing to face any repercussions if it meant having you back in his arms. Anything seemed bearable compared to the thought of losing you.

By Wednesday, Jeonghan found himself standing at your doorstep, desperately knocking, hoping to speak with you. To his dismay, a neighbor informed him that you had been absent since Monday. His heart sank realizing he had missed his chance to reconcile with you.

He had made a solemn vow to himself that he would reach out to you no matter what obstacles lay in his path, willing to go to any lengths to make amends. However, he now realized the depth of his mistake. Reflecting on his actions, he understood that he should have heeded the advice of his friends earlier, but it was too late for regrets.

Jeonghan's determination to win you back consumed him. He felt a deep pang of regret for not acting sooner and for failing to appreciate the warnings from his friends. Now, facing the reality of your absence, he grappled with the weight of his impulsive behavior.

In the days that followed, Jeonghan resolved to wait patiently for your return, determined to seize any opportunity to make things right. He hoped against hope that he hadn't irreparably damaged the bond between you. Each passing day without you served as a sobering reminder of the importance of listening to his instincts and valuing the counsel of those who cared about him.

The next week you opened your phone to see it has blown up with Jeonghan’s messages and there were a few from Seungkwan asking you if you are okay and telling you that he had punched Jeonghan for being an asshole to you and that most of the people didn’t agree with Jeonghan’s antics but its hard to stop Jeonghan when is like that.

Taking pity of the boy you and answered him accepting his apology and telling him you were happy that he punched the guy.

His answer came immediately, saying he was happy that there is no bad blood among you two and he prefers you more than Jeonghan anyways making you laugh at his cuteness.

When you returned back to the office, the first thing you did was hand them your resignation letter. The next thing on your list was avoid Jeonghan till you leave work, at which you were pretty successful.

And just like that you were done with your time in the office and were moving onto another job before Jeonghan could even get hold of you.

Its has been three years since and life had never been better. You became friends with Seungkwan, Seokmin and Soonyoung immediately. You four hangout quite frequently. The three younger men like you a lot too. It’s a strong bond you have created with them. If anyone asks you would say the only good thing that came from your ex was the friends you made while with him.

On top of that you also have been in a relation with a man who treats you right and loves you to death. Its like you have at last reached the light at the end of the tunnel.

Jeonghan on the other hand drowned himself in work after you left, the man tried his best to forget your existence and was very thankful his work helped him do so. But whenever he was out with his friends he couldn’t stop himself from asking about you and always he got the same answer of ‘none of your fucking business’ from Seungkwan.

But it was different this time, it was the ever so kind Seokmin who answered him.

“Hyung she moved on, and you should too.” Hearing that he stood up, he didn’t know why. Would he go to your house and beg for your forgiveness again or will he call you while asking you to give him another chance?

Truth to be told, he didn’t know.

“Hyung please don’t mess this up for her. She is happy,” Seokmin spoke up again, kindly holding his hand to pull him down back onto his seat. It felt like Jeonghan’s life has come crashing down on him once again. One lone tear left his eye, too embarrassed to cry in front of his friends, he puts up a happy front while saying “of course Seok, I would do nothing to hurt her.”

All his friends looked at the man in pity, hoping that faith was kinder to him. but they couldn’t deny that he single handedly destroyed his life either. He was still their friend and he deserved to be happy to but so did you. The man sat in silence for some time till Joshua loudly declared he wanted to go to the arcade and all the others enthusiastically agreed, happy about the distraction.

That is when Jeonghan realized life has gone on and not stopped for anyone, the time he was supposed to seize his moment has passed and it wont ever come back. He now has to live his life without the presence of one of the most precious thing he ever had the privilege to possess, your love.

a/n 3: thank you all for reading !!

278 notes · View notes

supernaturalgirl20 · 1 year

Note

Hey! Your writing is stellar!

Could you possibly write about Joel and reader hating each others guts, but something like Joel almost dying brings the feelings out reader never realized. (Like angsty almost dying lol). she takes care of him and he sees how he does actually love her. It’s ends with them together. Vague i know haha.

Thank you!! xoxo

Thank you so much and I adored this request 🥰changed it up a little Hope you enjoy 😉

The Reason

Pairings: Joel Miller x f!reader

Warnings: Smut 18+, explicit, unprotected sex, soft love making, near fatal accident, mentions of death, hidden feelings, enemies to lovers (sorta), angst, cursing, fluff.

A/N: slowly getting back to writing this week so please bear with me on the requests. Didn't edit this so sorry for any mistakes.

Comments and reblogs really appreciated 🥰

Anger bubbled under the surface of your skin as you stood with your back against the door of the stables. The sound of his voice echoed through the air as he berated Tommy for asking you to join them.

Who does he think he is? You think to yourself as you listen to him criticise you to his brother. Joel Miller was a force to be reckoned with and he had zero tolerance for anyone in the Jackson community except for you. Or at least you’d thought so, now you weren’t so sure.

There was one night after a rough patrol where he’d shared a few drinks with you, and he’d opened up about his past. You had thought for a moment that maybe he liked you. Maybe you both could become friends or more, but now, you’re sure he hates you.

“Now why the hell did you go and ask her to come with us? You know darn well that I ain’t gonna be able to concentrate with her there. Damn it, Tommy, I ain’t gonna be able to keep them both safe.”

With clenched fists you turned the corner and stormed towards him, his eyes widening when he spots you. “Who the hell do you think you are, Miller? Huh? Telling Tommy you don’t want me to come. It doesn't matter what you want, I’m the most experienced shot this place has so I’m more than capable of taking care of myself. Now I’m coming on this run whether you like it or not.” You huffed out a breath as you poked his chest with your finger, looking up at him with an angry expression on your face.

“So, saddle up, cowboy.” You push him back slightly before grabbing your horse and marching out of the stables, leaving both Miller brothers confused as they stared after you.

“About time you grew a pair Joel and told her the truth about how you feel. Save all this bickering. I mean it’s obvious as shit that you have feelings for her, so just man the fuck up.” Tommy says as he pats him on the back.

Ellie scoffs behind them drawing both of their attention to her. She looks up and shrugs her shoulders at them. “Gotta say I agree with Tommy on this one. Life would be a lot easier if you just told her. Hell, it’s so fucking obvious she feels the same and I swear you two are just like horny fucking teenagers.”

“Alright enough! First of all, language,” he snaps as he points a finger in Ellie’s direction. “Secondly, what is this anyhow? Gang up on Joel day?” His gaze drifts between the pair and they smile at each other before they shrug, and Tommy says his goodbyes.

“Alright, let’s get this shit show on the road,” Ellie teases as she winks at Joel and follows you outside.

Joel watches her leave, his hands resting on his hips as he closes his eyes briefly and takes in a deep breath. This was gonna be a long trip.

***

Things had gone to shit when you came across a group of raiders in a nearby abandoned town. They had wanted all of your supplies as well as you and Ellie but Joel was having none of it.

He’d become a different man in the blink of an eye. A violent one and you can’t say it didn’t turn you on. He’d killed them all or at least so you’d thought until one of them had snuck up behind him and tackled him to the ground.

They tussled for a moment before Joel straddled him and beat him to the ground. When he stood, he turned around to face you, his breathing ragged as he flexed his hands, his knuckles were bruised and bloody. His gaze drifted away from you towards Ellie who was busy collecting weapons.

You let your gaze drift down his torso, and you gasped at the sight of a knife protruding from his abdomen.

“Joel!” The sound of your worried voice catches his attention and his gaze flickers towards you. He follows your line of sight and groans when he sees the knife. His hand wraps around the hilt and pulls, blood spurting out from the wound, and he stumbles slightly as he throws the knife into the ground.

“Let’s go.” His voice is commanding, leaving no room for argument. “Ellie,” you shout, “we gotta go.” You tilt your head towards her horse and rush over to help Joel up onto your own, placing him at the front.

“Joel’s been hurt. We gotta find somewhere to lay low for a while.” You jump up behind Joel wrapping your arms around his waist as you grab the reins.

You travel at a slow pace. Trying hard not to jostle him around too much but he’s losing a lot of blood, and fast. His head droops to the side, then his whole-body leans to the right and you try to catch him but you can’t hold his weight so he falls off the horse.

“Ellie, stop!” you shout as you hop off the horse and check on him. He’s passed out. It almost appears as if he’s dead, but you run your fingers along his neck and check for a pulse.

It’s there.

Faint, but there and you let out a sigh of relief. Turning your gaze to Ellie you see the unshed tears in her eyes as she stares down at Joel. “He’s gonna be ok. I need you to help me lift him back onto the horse. Those houses over there,” you say with a tilt of your head.

“We’ll stop there for now. Try to close over his wound.” She nods at you before helping you lift him. It’s a struggle but you manage all the same and you take a hold of the reins as you guide the horse along the trail. A silent prayer recited in your head that he’d be ok, that he’d make it through this.

***

Joel is laying on the mattress you’d found as Ellie rips off a piece of cloth to hold over his wound. He groans loudly and you drop to your knees beside him pushing Ellie out of the way and putting pressure on his abdomen. He writhes in pain for a moment before he grabs your hand.

“Leave.” He rasps, his breathing becoming more laboured with each breath. You shake your head as you continue to put pressure on the wound.

“Leave. Go north…. Tommy,” his grip on your hand tightens and you finally meet his gaze. “No. I’m not leaving you. Don’t - don’t ask that of me…. I can’t.”

His skin is clammy and pale, and your heart feels like it’s being ripped apart. You can’t lose him. Not now.

“Ellie.” Your gaze drifts towards the teenager and she’s standing still, face full of worry as she stares down at Joel. “Ellie,” you shout, grabbing her attention.

“You need to go and look for medical supplies. Bandages, gauze, needle and thread, anything. Now, Ellie.”

She looks down at Joel one last time before she rushes up the stairs. He groans again, his eyes full of pain as he stares up at you shivering.

You pull his jacket up over him before cupping his cheek in your hand. “You’re gonna make it through this. I promise.”

You stand up and quickly move across the room to grab your bag, rifling through it until you find what you're looking for. Pills in hand you pull out a bottle of water and drop to your knees again.

Gently, you lift his head and place the tablets in his mouth before bringing the bottle of water to his lips. “Drink. These will help with the pain.”

He obeys with a groan, swallowing the pills before you rest his head back on the mattress. “I gotta clean this, Joel. I’m gonna…. I gotta clean the wound, ok?”

He nods his head, his body trembling as he shivers uncontrollably. You pop open the bottle of alcohol and take a deep breath before you remove the jacket and lift his shirt.

Your hand shakes slightly as you stare at his stomach for a moment - the wound bloody and bruised and jagged looking - before you snap out of it and pour the alcohol over it, causing him to hiss in pain.

“I know, I know…. I’m sorry.” You turn your head at the sound of Ellie’s footsteps coming down the stairs. “I found this,” she says as she hands you a needle and thread. Her eyes widen at the sight of his stomach, and you cradle her cheek in your hand.

“He’s gonna be ok. I promise you. Now I need you to hold him down because this is gonna hurt like hell.” She nods her head and rushes around to kneel beside Joel, placing her hands on his shoulders.

His eyes stare up at her and he gives her a faint smile before his gaze drifts to you again. You pull the thread through the needle and tie it off before sterilising it with the alcohol. You meet his gaze and nod before taking a deep breath and pushing the needle through his skin.

He groans loudly, reaching his hand up to grab at your arm. He turns his head away from you, shutting his eyes tightly as he tries to hold in his cries, Ellie pushing down on him to stop him from moving.

The needle falls to the floor once you’ve finished sewing him up and you sit back on the ground staring at your shaking hands. They were covered in blood. His blood and the fact that you could’ve lost him today stirs something inside you.

Feelings that you didn’t think you had. Not for him. Sure, you thought he was handsome, that he was a good father to Ellie, but he hated you. So, you hated him. At least, that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

It was all too much. These feelings, and the way he was looking up at you made your chest hurt. Standing, you rush up the stairs and out of the house, trying to take deep breaths.

“He is asking for you.” Ellie’s voice startles you and you whip your head around taking her in.

“I’m just gonna check the other houses for medicine. I’ll be back.” She takes a step forward but you shake your head. “I just need a minute, ok? Tell him I’ll be back.”

***

You’d taken your time, routing through the other abandoned houses trying to stall time as best as you could until you sort through your feelings.

It became clear around the fifth house that you had maybe always loved Joel Miller, you were just too stubborn to notice. It was also in that house you’d found some penicillin.

The creak of the stairs alerted Ellie to your presence, and she turned quickly, gun pointed in your direction. With a sigh of relief, she lowered it and stood, taking a glance at Joel before meeting you.

“He was worried about you. Tried to go after you but I wouldn’t let him. He’s asleep now but he keeps shaking and I think he has a slight fever.”

With a nod of your head, you brush a strand of her hair behind her ear. “There’s some canned food in the kitchen, you should head on up and get something to eat. We’re gonna be here for a while.”

“Ok, I’m starving. Want me to get you some?”

“I’m ok for now. Just don’t make too much noise. We don’t know if there are others in the area.” You let her go and turn your attention to Joel, who is laying in the same spot, shivering despite the heavy coat and blanket covering him.

You run your fingers through his hair, and he groans at the feeling of your touch. Pulling away you reach for the bottled water and grab one of the antibiotics before gently stirring him awake.

“Hmm,” he groans as his eyes slowly open, glossed over in pain as you smile softly down at him. “Hey, I’ve got some antibiotics. They should kill any infection even if they are out of date.”

Joel lifts his head enough for you to place the pill in his mouth and help him take a sip of water. Swallowing the pill, he drops back onto the mattress and looks up at you longingly.

“Was worried…thought somethin’…couldn’t live without you….” His hand reaches out towards you as he traces the soft curve of your face. The feel of his rough calloused fingers on your skin sets your heart racing.

“I’m ok. Ain’t nothing gonna happen to me. I learned from the best,” you say with a laugh as you nervously meet his gaze.

“I’m gonna get us some food, I'll be right….” You start to say but he shakes his head.

“No. Stay. Please.” His eyes are wide as he begs you to stay, shuffling around on the mattress as he tries to make room for you.

“What are you doing, Joel?” You ask, raising your eyebrows in question. He pats the space beside him indicating that he wants you to lay with him.

“What if I hurt you?” You ask as your eyes drift to his blood-stained shirt. “Won’t,” he breathes out as his eyes begin to droop closed. He’s still shivering slightly, and his skin still looks pale and clammy and you don’t have the heart to say no.

With a reluctant sigh, you remove your jacket and slip in beside him, making sure you’re both covered by the blankets. His arm is wrapped around you as you rest your head on his chest and the soft beating rhythm of his heart lulls you to sleep.

***

“No….no please not her….can’t lose her….no, no…” Joel muttered in his sleep as his head tossed around, his grip on your waist tightening.

He was having a nightmare.

Sitting up a little, you gently place your hand on his cheek, your thumb rubbing soothing circles into the rough surface of his face. “Joel,” you whisper, trying to wake him without startling him.

“Hey, Joel, it's ok. Wake up.” His eyes snap open and he panics until his gaze lands on you and his breathing slowly calms.

You gaze down at him with a soft smile on your face as you continue to rub his cheek. “You were having a nightmare. Are you ok?”

His eyes take in the features of your face as the moonlight shines through the small window of the basement. “M’fine. Thought I - thought I lost you ....” He trails off as he slowly realises what he’s saying.

His face has a little more colour to it and you swear you see the hint of a blush on his cheeks.

“I’m here. I’m fine. It was just a bad dream, probably induced by the fever,” you giggle as you place the back of your hand on his forehead. “Seems to have broken, finally.”

“I know you heard what I said to Tommy.” He says matter of factly. “I know you think that I hate you….”

“It’s fine, Joel. You don’t have to explain anything. That’s just life. You like some people, you hate others. It is what it is.” His eyes furrow as he looks up at you, a confused look taking over the features of his face.

“I don’t hate you. Never have. Don’t think I ever could. It's a bit hard to hate someone you’re in love with.”

“What?!” You stutter nervously, your eyes blinking rapidly as you swallow the lump in your throat.

“I love you darlin’. It’s the reason I didn’t want you to come on this run. I’m distracted when you’re out on patrol with me, I knew I’d be the same with this, it’s why I begged Tommy to reconsider letting you tag along. M’sorry if I ever made you feel like I hated you, 'cause I don't.”

You don’t know what to say. The words won’t form in your mind as you stare down at him in shock. He loves you. Your heart thrums loudly in your ears and you think for a moment that you’re gonna pass out.

“You alright, darlin?” The sound of his Texan drawl, soft and low, breaks you from your trance.

“Hmm? M’fine. I-I think I love you too.” His eyebrow quirks as a smile edges its way onto his face. “You think?” He teases.

You nudge him in the chest, and he groans, holding his side and you panic you’ve hurt his stitches. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry Joel. I completely forgot,” you rush out, voice panicked as you lift his shirt to check.

The sound of his laughter pulls your gaze up towards him. “Oh, for god's sake,” you huff as you turn and begin to push yourself off the mattress. His hand reaches out to grab your wrist, pulling you back into him.

“M’sorry, darlin’. Couldn’t resist.” His hand slips up along your curves and settles on your face, his gaze meeting yours. His eyes flicker briefly to your lips, and you unconsciously lick along your bottom lip, pulling it between your teeth.

“Will you two just kiss already? Jesus.” Ellie’s voice sounds from the top of the stairs. You both burst into laughter before he leans forward and captures your lips in a searing kiss.

His lips are a little rough, the feel of them against your own causing a shiver to work its way down your spine. He still tastes of whiskey he had earlier, and you want nothing more than push him down and fuck him into the mattress but you don’t. Instead, you pull away and rest your head against his, calming your racing heart.

“We should get some rest,” you breathe raggedly as you blink down at him.

Nodding his head, he kisses you softly once more before laying back on the mattress and pulling you with him, wrapping you up in his arms. “G’night, darlin’.”

***

The gates open and Tommy comes rushing out with a worried expression on his face. “What the hell happened?” He asks, his gaze drifting from Joel to you as he waits for someone to tell him.

“Long story,” Joel answers as he looks over at Ellie, a silent communication happening between them. Tommy huffs in frustration. “You’ve been gone for days. We thought - we thought you’d been killed or worse. Fuck!”

Joel slowly hops off the horse and makes his way towards his brother, clapping his hand on his back. “We’re alright, Tommy. Ain’t nothin’ to worry about. We’re just tired. Gonna need some more sleep and a decent meal.”

Tommy nods his head, his eyes drifting to both you and Ellie. “Sure. How about you all head home and I’ll have Jason drop the food over.”

“That sounds amazin’ little brother. You’re just gonna have to have Jason drop Y/N’s food over to my place.”

Tommy's face freezes in shock before a sly smirk plays across his face. “Oh yeah. Somethin’ happen while you were out there?” He asks Joel, his voice almost a whisper so only he could hear.

“Gentlemen never kiss and tell, Tommy. You should know that.” He smacks him on the back hard, winking at him before he turns and grabs his horse. Tommy knew something had happened from the slight blush on your cheeks. He’d get it out of Joel eventually.

***

The room had been filled with silence as you all ate the dinner that Jason had brought over. The only sound to be heard was that of your forks and knives scraping off the plate.

God, you hadn’t realised how hungry you were until the smell of the food hit your nose. The loud growl of your stomach made Joel smile as he finished setting the table.

“Fuck that was good,” Ellie says as she sits back in the chair, hands resting on her now full stomach.

“Manners,” Joel chastises as he pushes his plate away from him.

“She’s not wrong though,” you say with a smile as you place your knife and fork on the plate and release a contented sigh. Joel hums in response as he lets his gaze wander over you both.

He never thought he’d have this again. A normal life. A steady home. A family. Now that he does have it, he’s not too keen on letting it go. With the clearing of his throat, he throws Ellie a look, his eyes shifting towards the front door, and it only takes her a second to realise what he’s saying.

“I’m gonna go meet up with Dina. Don’t wait up ya old fart.” She says with a laugh as she grabs her coat and slams the door behind her.

“So…I guess I’ll help clear up and then I’ll let you get some rest.” You stand, the chair scraping across the floor as you grab your plate and make your way into the kitchen.

You turn the tap on and begin to wash up when a set of arms wrap around you from behind. You startle. A soft gasp slips past your lips as Joel turns you slowly in his arms.

You gulp nervously as you stare up at those golden-brown orbs. Your heart beats frantically at the feel of his touch. “Was thinkin’ maybe you could stay the night. I’ll make you pancakes and coffee in the morning.”

His eyes are hopeful as he waits for you to say something. “Are you trying to seduce me, Miller?” You tease as your arms come to rest on his chest. Your fingers playing with the buttons on his shirt.

“Is it workin’?” He says with a smile, his arms pulling you closer.

“Maybe. Might need you to kiss me though, to make sure.” A smile plays across his face as he leans in and kisses you softly. You tease his bottom lip with your tongue, and he groans into your mouth, his fingers digging into your hips as he grinds into you.

His cock hardens against you, and he groans when you run your hand down along his stomach and under the waistband of his jeans, cupping him with your hand.

“Fuck,” he breathes as he pulls away, forehead resting on yours. You run your fingers along the back of his neck and through his hair. “Need you,” you whisper into the shell of his ear, and he shivers.

“Jesus, darlin’. You’re gonna be the death of me.” He grabs your hand from his trousers and leads you out of the kitchen and up the stairs towards his bedroom, where he kicks the door closed behind him as he walks you back towards his bed.

He’s hungry for you. His eyes were blown wide with lust and you’re sure he’d have ravaged you by now if it weren’t for the fact that he’s healing.

You pull him in for another kiss and let your hands glide over him as you begin to unbutton his shirt. Throwing it onto the floor before starting on his trousers.

His rough calloused fingertips glide along your skin as he helps you remove your clothes, your breath hitching as they slip between your slick folds.

You gasp. His mouth swallows the moan that follows as he kisses you softly. Pulling back his eyes trail over your naked form and when your gazes meet, you see nothing but adoration in those brown eyes you love so much.

“How do you - how do you want to do this?” You ask as his hands grab onto the soft flesh of your ass. “Better take it slow for now. Don’t wanna burst a stitch,” he says with a smile in his voice. “Lay on your side, darlin’.”

Doing as he says, you lay on your side, his warmth filling all your senses as he slips in behind you. You let out a breathy moan as his fingers delve into your heat once more, his hardened cock nestled snugly between your ass cheeks.

“Oh fuck,” you whimper as he works his thick digits in and out of you, curling them ever so slightly as he hits that spot that sends you spiralling.

Your skin is flushed. Sweat beads down along your breasts as he pinches your nipple between his forefinger and thumb. A shiver skitters down your spine as he whispers into the shell of your ear.

“Ready for me darlin’?”

You nod, “yeah- yes, fuck I’m ready please,” you whine as he runs the tip of his cock teasingly along your slick. “Joel…”

“Tell me what you want, baby.”

“Need you inside - need you to fuck me, please.” With the head of his cock notched at your entrance he thrusts inside with a roll of his hips and you both let out a soft groan as he fills you.

“Jesus, darlin’. So damn tight…fuckin’ squeezing the life outa me.” He takes a moment, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath as he tries to control himself. His lips meet the skin of your neck as he peppers kisses along it, his hips moving slowly in tandem with his lips.

It’s soft and slow. His hands glide over your skin, pinching and pulling as you moan softly into the room. Your body shudders as you come, your clit already sensitive from earlier.

A soft cry slips past your lips as you reach behind to run your fingers into his hair. His hips stutter as he nears his release, the soft grunting in your ear becoming louder the closer he gets.

“Ngh…fuck,” he groans as he quickly frees himself from your walls, spilling himself over the soft pillowy flesh of your ass.

“Don’t move, darlin’.” He says as he slowly slips from the bed and grabs a piece of cloth to clean you with. He works it gently over your skin before throwing it into the basket at the end of his bed.

The cool air makes you shiver involuntarily but Joel is quick to hop back into bed, slipping beneath the covers and pulling you close.

“I love you, darlin’,” he whispers into the crook of your neck and you can’t help the smile that works its way onto your face.

“Hmm, I love you too.” He squeezes you gently before his breathing evens out and he falls asleep. It’s safe to say that Joel Miller definitely doesn’t hate you.

Everything: @maievdenoir @amneris21 @hnt-escape @elegantduckturtle @harriedandharassed @jediknight122 @ayrusss @hayley-the-comet @sherala007 @alexxavicry @scorpio-marionette @donnaa @practicalghost @tanzthompson @beskarprincessjenny @littlemisspascal @icanbeyourjedi @thatpinkshirt @maryfanson @sunnshineeexoxo @misspearly1 @misspearlssideblog @athalien @its--fandom--darling @sara-alonso @doommommy @browneyes-issac @trickstersp8 @nembees @kaitieskidmore1 @mswarriorbabe80 @allthe-ships @tintinn16 @hungrhay @rosie-posie08 @manuymesut @all-the-way-down-here @iccedays @tusk89 @graciexmarvel @pedrostories @musings-of-a-rose @untitledarea @your-voice-is-mellifluous @majestyjade @avengersfan25 @hummelmia @angstismydrug

#pedro pascal #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x female reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller x fem!reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller tlou au

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nekooru · 1 year

Text

₊ ☾⋆ tripede boys cuddle hcs ⋆⁺₊⋆

vash. wolfwood. knives.

synopsis: some cute lil cuddle hcs for the tripede boys!!

tags: trigun stampede, headcanons, cuddling, cute, fluff, short hc drabbles, knives is just a teeny tiny bit angsty

w/c: 1149

a/n: yep yep been wanting to post some tripede for a whilee

headcanon

˙⋆⁺₊⋆.

vash

☾. vash will cuddle you in every method virtually possible, most of the time adapting to whatever position you're already in. are you sitting up on a flat surface? he's on his stomach, laying between your legs and wrapping his arms around your waist as his head rests in your lap. laying down? most of the time, he wiggles against you to be the little spoon, but will be the big spoon every once in a while. in a chair? is there room beside you? if so, he'll lean against your side and drape an arm over your shoulder. no room? he picks you up, sits down, and places you in his lap. vash will always find a way to be attached to you.

☾. just out of politeness, he'll sheepishly laugh and ask if he's invading your space. he prays to whatever is out there for you to reply that he's not, and when you affirm that he's not, he gets a burst of energy and squeezes you tightly in elation. if you say that he is, in fact, too much in your space, he immediately separates and apologizes. although he tries to hide it, his disappointment is apparent as he childishly sulks for a minute before his mood improves again.

☾. while you're cuddling, he loves nothing more than to hear you talk about anything and everything. he encourages you to talk about your day, dreams for your future, and anything else that comes to mind. he moves his thumb in circles over your skin as he stares lovingly, a light smile gracing his lips. you pause every so often at his dreamy expression to make sure he's still listening, and he always is.

☾. you run your fingers through his fluffy, blond hair as he tightens his hold around your waist. you note how the fingers of his prosthetic arm feel cold through your shirt, and inversely, his real fingers feel warm against your other side. his eyes are closed, and his chest heaves with each breath; you wonder if he fell asleep. the plant patterns on his face vaguely glow in the light at his comfort, and you can't help but softly touch them with your finger tips. vash's eyes slowly half open, and you retract your hand quickly. he smiles. "hey... do you think they're weird?" you blink, considering the question. "huh? your markings? i don't know, i think they're pretty." his smile widens and he exhales, touched by your answer. "not as pretty as you, though," he replies.

wolfwood

☾. despite all his complaining about how his arm is falling asleep, wolfwood's favorite cuddle position is laying in bed on his back with you curled against his chest, nestled in the crook of his arm.

☾. he secretly loves your before-bed zoomies, when you have the sudden burst of energy to pester him. a thin grin spreads across his lips as he provokes you into initiating a wrestling match, which he entertains for several moments, before showing you just how strong nicholas the punisher was. "that's not fair," you would whine as he rubs his rough, scruffy facial hair against your cheek. "yeah, well. life isn't fair, sweetheart," he replies.

☾. wolfwood wasn't often the type for late night conversations. he finds himself dozing off as you talk about whatever you're talking about; it's not for a lack of appreciation, but moreso a deep comfort from laying with you that hypnotizes him, lulls him into sleep. as a guttural snore cuts through your words, you jostle wolfwood awake, offended. "you fell asleep while i was talking," you scold. wolfwood will endlessly insist that he did not, in fact, fall asleep.

☾. one night, after you had told wolfwood that you were staying the night at a friend's, you decided to come home anyway. you slipped into the bedroom, feeling your way to your side of the bed, only to promptly fall against metal. you groaned as the collision echoed throughout the room. "nicholas!! you were cuddling with your cross?!" wolfwood groggily raises his head up as you sandwich yourself between the headboard and cross, pushing against the latter with all your might. it didn't even budge. "it's hard to sleep without you," he mutters, grabbing the cross and effortlessly swinging it over the edge of the bed to gently place on the floor. your frustration melted away the second he turned back over and pulled you against him.

knives

☾. more often than not, you'll have to be the one to initiate cuddling with knives as he lays up in bed reading, or at the very least, ask him to cuddle you. he loves you dearly, but he forgets that physical affection is a thing that exists. when prompted to cuddle, he'll reflect for a moment to analyze whether he's been giving you enough affection lately or not. "i'm sorry. i need to initiate these things more," he says, wrapping his arm along your side and holding your chin. you smile and and run your thumb over his frown. "don't worry so much," you reply.

☾. he loves to envelop you entirely; he places his hand firmly against the back of your head as you nestle in the crook of his neck, and his other arm presses your body tightly against his. his leg rests over yours, and your hands are against his chest. sometimes, he plants a kiss against your hair. you feel safe as his larger form curls around you, and he feels at peace in your presence.

☾. knives admittedly isn't the best at relationships or knowing exactly what will make you feel happy. he often asks for feedback, what he could do better, or if there's anything new he could try. although, he hates that he has to ask these things in order to understand— knives isn't used to concepts that don't come naturally to him, and he wants to be the best he can for you right away. no matter how much you reassure him, you can tell he feels inadequate as a significant other anyway.

☾. he scowls, although not in anger, but more like intense focus. his lips part to say something, but close for several moments, and open again. "thank you..." he begins, considering his words very carefully. "thank you for being so patient with me. i know i'm— i'm... different. and still learning. thank you for letting me be with you." his face softens as his sentence finishes, and he looks at you. you smile and hold his face in your hands; the fact that knives feels safe enough to express such vulnerability warms you to your core. "nai. i don't want anything in the world other than to be with you. you make me so happy, and you treat me so well, okay? i hope you'll always remember that." he bows his head, leaning into your hold, eventually melting against you in an embrace.

˙⋆⁺₊⋆.

☾. like/reblog if you enjoyed the story !

masterlist: x

#trigun stampede #vash the stampede #nicholas the punisher #wolfwood #millions knives #vash #tripede #trigun stampede headcanons #trigun stampede fanfic #vash fluff #trigun stampede hcs #trigun stampede x reader #vash x reader #wolfwood x reader #knives x reader #i can fix knives i can fix him i can fix him i can fix

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katerina-marie · 11 days

Text

The Uncertainty of Domesticity

Toji Fushiguro x Female Reader

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 of 3

Toji Fushiguro wasn’t afraid of much, though he definitely felt so when he became a widower in the same moment he became a father. Years later, he felt it again when you came along with the same hopes and dreams for a future he never thought he would experience again.

Content: JJK universe but no canon events / strangers & neighbors to lovers / medium burn idk / female reader and referred to as such but left descriptively vague / no y/n / out of character and soft Toji / single-father Toji / SFW (for this part anyway) / Megumi-Mama/Mamaguro dies in childbirth and its mentioned once or twice / cutie pie child Megumi / fluff / slice of life / light angst from Toji's inner turmoil / discussions about having children / pregnancy and childbirth for reader in part 3 (pending) / more notes below.

WC: 6.1k

Notes: I just really wanted to see Toji "I'm doing my best at this single-dad thing" Fushiguro raise Megumi, fall in love again and get a happy ending, so here is me indulging myself. This isn't so much Toji struggling to move on from his late wife as it is him meeting you and then being scared about having a future with you taken away. But not as angsty as it sounds, very much fluff and vibes and snippets of goodness. Also, I am clearly taking liberties with JJK canon, so just go with it.

-----------------------

Toji Fushiguro wasn’t afraid of much.

He wasn’t afraid of what went bump in the night, not when he was the one who hunted it once and was maybe a part of it himself in days long gone.

He wasn’t afraid when he tied himself to the woman he loved in law and name. Trepidation might have jolted Toji awake on a rare night, and the desire to keep her protected from the past of himself gave him the urge to flee on occasion. The balm of her touch and the promise of a new blessing that grew within her stayed his limbs.

Shock muffled all the sound around him as he held the new life she had given him while her’s slipped away in a rush of blood and the shouting of doctors. A nurse helped him collapse into a hospital chair and took the baby from his arms when the growing pool of dark red on the floor—something Toji had once been accustomed to—swallowed his whole field of vision until he saw nothing else. Desperation spread numbness over his body and allowed a high pitched whine to echo in his ears when the flurry of movement in the room came to a slow stop, and a white sheet was dragged over the face of a woman now gone.

Pressure threatened to cave his chest and Toji curled over his knees to gape wildly at the floor as he struggled to pull in any strangled breath that he could manage. He felt hollow, devoid of anything and one wrong move away from shattering in place. Tears burned his eyes as he clenched them shut, and it was fear that suddenly set in when grief stole any hopes for an optimistic future and left in its wake a bitter vision of unwanted loneliness.

Toji Fushiguro wasn’t afraid of much, but now he would never again doubt that he was capable of feeling so.

-----------------------

5.5 Years Later

Toji didn’t particularly like having to stop at the grocery store on his way home from work once he picked Megumi up from school. His normally even-keeled son had a penchant for acting up when it came to ensuring that his father put into their basket every sugar heavy, grease laden, and all around unhealthy snack upon his immediate request. Toji would spend the entire time fielding incessant demands while silently praying that he would be able to grab whatever assortment of items he needed for the next couple of days before Megumi descended into an even fouler mood than normal.

So no, Toji had no intention of going to the store after spending the day at some nondescript high school with an absurdly long name that Megumi would one day attend. His threshold for tolerating tantrums was low after hours of offering his “legal” and “non-life threatening” expertise to a bunch of teenagers with attitudes equivalent to his five year old. Specifically, there was one white-haired punk with a big mouth that somehow managed to push all of his buttons, and by the end of every work day, Toji was eager to return to the sanctuary of his home.

At least that had been his plan until Megumi opened his mouth.

“Dad?” he questioned. Toji hummed an answer, but didn’t let his focus wander from the lull of the road in front of him. “Why do all the other kids have moms but I don’t?”

Megumi’s words were spoken quietly, tentatively, but they struck Toji in the heart just as painfully as he always anticipated they would, and he suddenly wished he had taken the time to read a book or something in preparation for this day—the inevitable question. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. Megumi was silent, but when Toji flicked his gaze to the rearview mirror, his son’s eyes were waiting and all too perceptive.

“I…uhm.”

Toji had to swallow once, twice, a third time to try and wet his tongue and force his throat to work, and by the time he felt he had composed himself enough, Megumi was peering around the side of his car seat to watch out the window.

“Can we stop and get some snacks and ice cream instead?”

Toji was in no state to deny him, so he flicked on his blinker with a resigned sigh. “Sure, why not?”

Twenty minutes later had him remembering “why not.”

“Can we please go get that bag of chips now?” Megumi tugged on the leg of his pants for the fifth time in the last two minutes, and the edge of his voice was turning petulant. Toji was struggling to recall the list of groceries he had left on the side of the fridge, and as he scanned the wall of meat at the back of the store, he squinted in the lackluster hope that he could remember if he had scribbled “chicken” underneath “green onions.”

“I said to give me a few more minutes, Megumi. We’ll go in second.” Toji curled his fists around the handle bar of the cart and he felt it reverberate when Megumi kicked at the wheel. “Do you remember if we had chicken in the freezer?”

He looked down at his son who was already looking up at him with wide eyes, and Toji grunted as he took in the suspicious stains on his buttoned up black uniform, the one untied shoelace on his left foot, and then decided that despite Megumi’s unusual habits for a child his age, maybe assuming he would remember a random hunk of meat deep in the freezer was asking too much for a kid only halfway to six.

“Now can we go get the chips?”

Toji had to take in a deep breath and close his eyes to count to ten before feeling calm enough to answer. “Just give me a second. Please.”

It was Megumi’s turn to huff, and he took a step away to spin in slow circles as Toji looked back at the meat selection. He took a minute to mumble through what he could remember from his list and then weighed the options of having to come back to the store if there wasn’t chicken in the freezer, or buying another pack anyway but then losing space if there did happen to be some already in there. Ultimately, Toji decided to just get another package of chicken and threw it into the cart.

“Alright, Kid,” he said, angling his head to look over his shoulder at his son, “now we can—Megumi?”

Toji cut off abruptly when he realized the space his son had previously occupied was now empty. He swiftly scanned the open floor of the store for that familiar spiky black hair, but could only see a few random parents and various elderly getting their weekly groceries. Toji figured Megumi had made haste for the chip aisle, but panic still quickened his heart nonetheless, and he hurried off to find him.

“Megumi!” he whisper-shouted, trying to keep his voice low to be mindful of other patrons, but Toji was growing more nervous every time he leaned over the front of his cart to duck his head down an aisle, only to find it empty of his son. The kid had short legs and Toji’s back was only turned for a minute, but he was struggling to believe Megumi could vanish that quickly.

“Megumi!” he said a little louder. He looked up at the indicator signs hanging at the end of each aisle, and when he caught a glimpse of the one containing the chips just two away, he lengthened his steps and opened his mouth to call for him again.

“Alright, Megumi.” Toji heard a voice addressing his son before he was able to round the corner. “You promised me you would tell me what your dad looked like if I got the bag of chips for you off the top shelf. Now, let’s go find him, okay? I’m sure he’s worried about you.”

When Toji did finally swerve his cart into the aisle, he was met with the sight of you squatted down in front of Megumi as he clutched a bag of chips to his chest. He could see your side profile, acknowledged how striking it was, and took in the heels on your feet and the fine-pressed material of your business clothes, but had little other attention for you before making sure his son was alright. Megumi caught sight of him first, and when he pointed at him you followed his finger, and Toji saw your eyes widen at his approach. He paid you no mind though, grateful when you had the sense to take a step back in order to not get in between a worried father and his child, and he wrapped his arms around Megumi when he crouched down in front of him.

“What have we talked about, Megs?” Toji stressed. He released Megumi from where he had clutched him against his chest so he could look him in the eye. His tone wasn’t harsh, but it was stern in its urgency and firmness. “You don’t walk off without telling me, you hear? Don’t do that again.”

The little boy nodded, and his head drooped slightly in response to being scolded. The sight of his downturned lips plucked at Toji’s frayed nerves, and he lifted a hand to ruffle Megumi’s hair in an attempt to soften the moment.

The clicking of your heels had him noticing you again, and Toji looked up to see you leaning down to grab your basket, body already half-turned away from him, and he stood to his full height at the same time you straightened.

“Thank you,” he said, and you went still. “I’m sorry if he inconvenienced you, but I appreciate you taking the time to help him.” Toji rubbed a hand against the back of his neck when your cheeks rounded into a friendly smile.

“He was no trouble at all,” you said, and while your tone was kindly neutral, Toji didn’t doubt the genuineness of your words. “Megumi was very polite.”

His son shuffled his feet when you turned your attention on to him, and Toji caught the tint of pink that flushed the back of his neck and ears.

He chuckled and patted his shoulder gently. “Well, that’s good to hear.” He hesitated a moment, using the pause to further take in the style of your hair and the way your eyes twinkled under the harsh fluorescents of the grocery store, then held his hand out as he took a step forward. “I’m Toji.”

You met his hand halfway, shaking it twice as you gave him your name, and when the two of you separated, there wasn’t quite as much distance between you as there had been moments ago.

“I don’t think I would have had any trouble finding you,” you giggled, and though your voice was sweet and your eyes crinkled in something that maybe could’ve been flirtatious, Toji thought you looked just a bit shy in the way you rocked gently on your toes and held your basket down in front of your legs so you could bump it off your knees absentmindedly.

You didn’t present yourself forwards to him or tilt your head in a way that was meant to entice, and while Toji couldn’t ignore how pretty you were or the way you had let your eyes quickly take in his height and the breadth of his shoulders (he didn’t think it was his imagination when you lingered on the scar in the corner of his mouth) he was grateful you maintained an air of simple friendliness.

You motioned towards Megumi with a flutter of your hand. “The resemblance is uncanny.”

Toji hoped his answering grin wasn’t strained. There was no denying how similar he and Megumi looked, from the shared black hair and angled jaw to how he had been told that the two of them even scowled the same. It warmed his heart to know his son looked like him, but it also brought with it a strange sense of disappointment that he had to search so hard to find his late wife’s features since they were mostly obscured by his own. Toji wasn’t sure which way he would rather have it. Each sounded equally painful, to not notice her much at all in Megumi, or to be struck in the face with the ghost of her every time he looked at his son.

“Yeah,” Toji said, “so I’ve heard.”

When your grin faltered slightly at the corners, Toji worried that he hadn’t done as good of a job concealing the hurt in his voice. You studied him a moment longer before your eyes darted over his shoulder and then off towards another aisle as one of your legs slid backwards.

“I’ll, uh, let the two of you get going.” You smiled again at him and offered a small wave to Megumi from where he was mostly hidden behind his father’s legs. “It was nice to meet the both of you.”

Toji nodded in agreement and Megumi sent back his own tiny shake of a hand before you each turned to go your separate ways. A little twinge in his chest made him wonder if he was missing out on something, but the window of opportunity already seemed to have passed. Once you were gone, Toji looked down at his son and tapped the top of his head to get his attention.

“I’ll let you push the cart, but you have to promise to never run off again, you hear me?”

Megumi immediately whipped his head up to stare awe-struck at Toji as he awaited confirmation, and after a nod from his father, he scrambled to get in between Toji and the cart, hands up and fingers just barely curling around the handle. Toji offered some guidance, but for the most part, he let his son do the work as they finished gathering the last of their items.

All in all, the rest of the trip remained uneventful, and Toji even felt a modicum more confident in grocery store endeavors as he directed Megumi to turn towards the checkout area at the end of the last aisle. That was until, in his eagerness, Megumi yanked the cart abruptly around the corner without bothering to check if anyone was approaching and promptly rammed the opposite end into your legs when you appeared from the other side.

Toji wanted to die a little as he watched you teeter on your heels while you flailed a hand out to regain your balance, and he was too far away to be able to close the distance in enough time to stabilize you, no matter how much he wanted to. However, in an impressive feat of gracefulness, you managed to right yourself at the last moment, grasping the edge of their cart with the hand that wasn’t holding your own basket.

“Megumi,” Toji growled through his teeth, slowly enunciating every syllable of his name, and the little boy actually looked chagrined for once.

“I’m alright,” you reassured him, laughter catching the tail end of your words, and Megumi scattered between his father’s legs when you grinned down at him. “It’s nice to run into you again, Megumi.”

Toji dragged a palm down his face and embarrassment made the back of his neck feel hot. “I’m so sorry. Again.”

“Really,” you insisted, “it’s okay.” You couldn’t lie and convince yourself that you weren’t glad to run into the cute little boy with an undeniably attractive father. But, even though there wasn’t a wedding ring on Toji’s finger, it didn’t mean there wasn’t a woman waiting for them at home, and that was enough to keep your behavior completely platonic.

With the realization that the three of you stood in the middle of the walkway staring at one another, you glanced down at their cart and then off to the right where the checkout was before turning back to them and tossing your hand back in that general direction.

“Are you guys ready to checkout? There’s a lane open at the end.”

The three of you ended up in line together behind another customer who had managed to sneak in right before you got there, but it allowed for conversation to flow. You learned that Toji was an instructor at a school just outside the city and that Megumi was in his first year of kindergarten. The boy took a liking to animals, and when you asked about Toji’s hobbies while you paid for your groceries, he only shrugged, but Megumi had chosen that moment to speak up for him.

“He likes to play with cards and money.” His voice rang loud and clear in the space of the store. Your face lit up in surprise and maybe just a hint of wariness, and Toji nearly dropped the pack of chicken he’d been loading onto the register. Even the employee in front of you three sniggered until Toji cut his eyes towards him.

He’d have to be a lot more careful about what he joked with Shiu about on the phone when he thought Megumi wasn’t listening.

“He means Monopoly, like board games or something,” Toji rushed out, and he didn’t think he sounded very convincing, but you didn’t ask for clarification and he caught you stifling a laugh as you turned to grab your groceries. He used the chance of your back being to them to pin Megumi with an exasperated grimace, but the boy was too proud of himself to care.

“If you want,” Toji offered, taking note of the bags you held in both hands while you stood waiting for them at the end of the cash register, “you can put your stuff in our cart and we’ll take it out. An apology for almost running you over.” He felt a little ridiculous when you cocked your head in consideration, wondering if what he said was out of turn, but it vanished when you set your things at the front of their cart with a smile.

“I’d appreciate it.”

He followed out after you, just barely remembering to grab his receipt from the cashier who somehow had the gall to waggle his eyebrows at him, but Toji pointedly ignored the gesture.

Once outside, he lifted Megumi into the cart to keep him contained while he helped you load your groceries into your car. While the two of you made light conversation, the same nagging feeling that something was about to slip through his fingers itched at the back of his mind. However, Toji had no idea what to do about it. At least, not while Megumi sat watching the two of you, and he certainly couldn’t ask you to wait until after he got his son into his car two lanes over while under the heat of July.

In the end, nothing happened, and Toji was caught off guard by the disappointment he felt when he and Megumi finally got themselves situated in the car. It stayed with him as he drove and tried to keep up with whatever Megumi was chattering about. It plagued him with the images of your smile and what your face might have looked like if he had managed to ask for your phone number. Disappointment had Toji realizing with a shake of his head that he wanted to ask for your phone number because he had wanted to see you again, and that hadn’t happened with a woman—despite the opportunities—since meeting his late wife. It sat heavy in his gut, and he figured it would ease away on its own in however much time it took him to forget about you.

At least, that’s what Toji had thought until he realized that the car that just turned in front of his onto his street was newly familiar and currently parking in front of a house across the road and two doors down from his. He quickly did the same and stepped out of his car with bated breath. You emerged out of yours a second later, and this time he raised his hand in greeting.

“You live here,” he called as you crossed the street and came to a stop at the edge of his small driveway. If Toji hadn’t been so stupefied by the turn of events, maybe something a little more eloquent would have come out of his mouth.

“For about a week now,” you told him, glancing back at his door as if you were waiting for something. Toji realized that he’d been so busy with work the last couple days that he hadn’t really paid any attention to the comings and goings of any of his neighbors, because surely he wouldn’t have missed you otherwise. “The house was left by a distant family member, but I didn’t have any use for it until my job transferred me here last month.”

“Oh, well, this is ours,” he said, gesturing backwards to his own home. “It’s just me and Megumi.” Toji saw your eyes flash with what he thought was interest, and maybe you confirmed it when you took a couple steps closer to lean against the tail end of his car.

“I guessed that was the case when you got out. You don’t seem like the type to follow home a woman you just met.” You arched one of your eyebrows playfully. “At least not with your son in the car.”

That got a chuckle out of him, and Toji shrugged nonchalantly. “Not anymore, no.”

Tentative excitement skittered over his spine when a laugh popped out of your mouth unbidden, and even though you tried to hide it with your hand and turned your head towards your house to shake it in amused disbelief, Toji still spied the way you peeked at him from the corner of your eye.

“Well,” you said, a little breathless, “I’m going home to make dinner. Have a good evening, neighbor.” The fingers of your right hand wiggled in his direction as you spun around to walk back to your house, and Toji fought to clear the grin he felt stretching the scarred skin of his lip as he opened the car door and ducked inside to grab Megumi.

-----------------------

Over the next month or so, most of Toji’s interactions with you remained frustratingly surface level. You’d holler a greeting to him on the mornings you saw him carrying a struggling Megumi to the car, already ten minutes late and praying his son had a pair of matching shoes on. He could do nothing but shout back as you got into your own car to leave for work. Other times, he’d wave at you as he drove to the store while you stood out watering the few pots of flowers sitting by your door. Once, when you had arrived home from work a little later in the day than normal, you had walked over to say ‘hello’ when you saw him and Megumi outside tossing a baseball. You hadn’t bothered going inside to change out of your slacks and blouse, and Toji had been thoroughly impressed when you ended up being able to chase a ball around with them while still in your heels.

Ultimately, Toji hadn’t quite decided if you’d react reciprocatively to him or not if he just showed up with a knock on your door to ask you out or get your phone number or any other romantic-adjacent task that he would surely end up making a fool out of himself with should he do it. In an effort to ensure he didn’t irreparably damage a perfectly good neighborly relationship, he refrained from doing anything more than exchanging smiles and conversation when the two of you came into contact with each other. Toji was determined to wait for a bit more interest on your end before he committed to doing anything.

Alas, in the late morning of a Friday that just so happened to be a government holiday, meaning there wasn’t a job for the two of you to go to, Toji caught sight of you staring up at some wooden decoration that sat at the top pitch of your house’s entryway. He and Megumi had just stepped outside to play. There was a bucket of dark stain sitting next to your foot, and you had a paint brush in hand to go with the shorts and ratty t-shirt you had on.

Never one to miss an obvious opportunity, Toji grabbed Megumi by the hand and walked him down the street to your house. Once he was close enough, he called out to grab your attention.

“Need help with that?”

You spun around abruptly, clearly caught unaware by him (Toji suspected that had more to do with something on his part than yours), but you smiled bashfully nonetheless as you glanced at him and then back to the spot above your door. “I didn’t think so originally, but it seems a lot higher up now that I actually look at it.”

When you glanced back at him, your eyes were beseeching and your lip was snagged between your teeth, and Toji knew in that second you could’ve gotten away with asking him anything you wanted to.

He smirked and gave you a nod of his head to confirm his assistance. After a quick discussion about where your ladder was—only to find out you didn’t have one—and a trip back to his house so Toji could grab the one there, he was up and brushing the stain to the wood as you and Megumi observed from below.

“I really do appreciate it,” you told him, eyeing the way a muscle in his arm flexed with every stroke of the brush. “I think I would’ve had trouble reaching it, even after I would have had to go buy a ladder to do it.”

His chuckle drifted down to you and the depth of it was exceedingly pleasant to your ears. Movement from behind you forced your gaze from Toji, and you looked back to check on Megumi as he wandered off to peer curiously at your potted flowers. When you decided the little boy was probably harmless to the defenseless flowers, you turned back to Toji and nearly choked on your tongue at the picture he made.

He was up on the tips of his toes with his arm extended in order to reach the top section of wood he needed to, and the movement lifted up the hem of his black t-shirt. You couldn’t help but take in the pale strip of skin now exposed, nor could you ignore the sharp angles of Toji’s hips and the trail of black hair that ran down under his belly button and disappeared into his pants. As your study took you upwards, you noticed how sweat made the fabric cling to every dip of muscle in his chest, and for the first time in your life, you came to the realization that sometimes more clothing could be just as sensuous as the lack thereof.

Belatedly, you became aware of how hard you were staring (ogling) him, and you wrenched your focus off his torso to somewhere safer, this time his face. However, to your absolute mortification, Toji already had his eyes on you, and based on the way the green of them gleamed in mischievousness, you knew he had caught you. With your skin suddenly flashing both hot and cold, you sputtered an excuse about getting Megumi a drink before fleeing for the sanctuary of your kitchen, but not before you snatched the little boy’s wrist on the way in to drag him with you. You ignored the way you heard Toji cackling from all the way from inside.

-----------------------

At the beginning of autumn, about three months after moving into your new home, the weather had begun to cool down enough that you could open your windows in the afternoon. You sang to yourself as you fixed a snack in your kitchen, and the neighborhood had been quiet enough that nothing had yet disturbed your relaxing Saturday.

That remained true until a light knock at your front door echoed in your kitchen. You set down the fruit you were cutting in favor of grabbing a towel to wipe your hands on and then hurried to the front door. You paused briefly at the mirror in your hallway to ensure you looked presentable in case a certain dad with the clearest green eyes you had ever seen happened to be on the other side. When you did answer the door, it was indeed a Fushiguro, but one of a much smaller stature than his father.

You weren’t necessarily a stranger to them anymore. Since moving in, when you or them happened to be outside at the same time, you usually ended up chatting or playing ball or something equally mundane when your schedules allowed for it. Toji had spent an afternoon repairing a gaping hole in your fence a couple weeks after staining the wood above your door—you very intentionally made sure to keep your eyes neck-level and above that time around—and you had knocked on their door one Sunday to deliver a plate of homemade cookies after you had watched Megumi sprain his ankle playing outside the day prior.

So no, it wasn’t quite out of the realm of possibility for a little boy with hair that seemed to defy gravity to appear at your door, but you couldn’t say you had been expecting it to happen either, especially not without his father in tow.

“Hi, Megumi,” you greeted, looking down at him as he scuffed his feet shyly against your welcome mat. “Is everything alright?”

He nodded, not saying anything for a moment before blurting out, “do you have any snacks?”

The question caught you off guard, and you leaned forward out your door to check and see that Toji’s car was still in the driveway. “I certainly do, but is your dad not home?” You obviously weren’t a parent yourself yet, but even you knew that five and half years old was still too young for a child to be left home alone.

“He is,” Megumi said flatly, and his nose scrunched in disdain. “But he fell asleep on the couch and I’m hungry.”

You muffled a snort of surprise against your palm and stepped aside to let the little boy in. “I’m happy to share a snack with you, Megumi, but we need to let your dad know where you are.” You considered what to do for a moment as you led him to your kitchen.

“Do you know his phone number? I’ll call and let him know you’re here.”

Megumi only shook his head.

“Okay, well…why don’t you sit at the table and eat a couple pieces of fruit, but then I’m taking you back home.”

He seemed content with your answer and quickly made his way to the table to scramble into a chair as you brought a plate of fruit to him. You were about to ask him how his day had been when you heard a door slam through your window, followed by Toji bellowing Megumi’s name.

The two of you shared a startled look, both of you now anticipating a possible scolding, and you spun around to dash out your front door. When you made it a couple steps outside, Toji was looking down the sidewalk in your opposite direction.

“Toji!” you called. He whipped his head in your direction and your heart broke at the franticness of his features. “He’s here! He’s okay!”

His shoulders fell in relief, and as he started to cross the street with those long strides of his, it occurred to you that Toji wasn’t wearing anything other than a pair of grey sweats on his lower half. He was all toned muscle and smooth skin, and between his towering height and the grim set of his mouth, you weren’t sure if you were more intimidated by him or attracted to him, though perhaps those went hand in hand at times like this.

As he strode up your driveway, a small squeak left your mouth and you stumbled back a step to try and maintain the distance Toji was eating up. “I’m sorry, he got here only five minutes ago and I was going to come get—,”

You were cut off when he lowered himself down to encircle your shoulders with his arms and brought you into his chest for a hug that seemed like it was more for his benefit than yours. You could see just a sliver of what was behind him from over the top of his shoulder and when your hands landed on his back, you were shocked at the heat that radiated off of him. He smelled faintly of some generic shampoo, but it managed to be thrilling nonetheless, and you noted how firm he felt in every point of contact between your bodies. When Toji pulled away—entirely too soon in your opinion—his face was full of gratitude.

“Thank you,” he said, and sincerity coated every word. If the suddenness of his body against yours hadn’t spiked your heart rate, then the emotion in his voice and the way his eyes stayed locked on yours certainly did.

“Oh, no,” you insisted, waving your hands between the two of you, “there’s nothing to thank me for! I’m sorry I didn’t let you know sooner and made you worry. I was going to call you, but Megumi didn’t know your phone number and I don’t have it—,”

Toji’s head jerked back slightly. You flushed hot and hoped you hadn’t sounded disappointed at the fact.

“Anyways, Megumi just wanted a snack and said you had fallen asleep on the couch, so I guess he decided to come over here.” You were out of breath by the time you finished your rushed explanation, and the only thing that brought you any relief was the fact that Toji’s cheeks blushed the faintest shade of pink as he pinched at the back of his neck.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he said sheepishly. “I worked late last night and must’ve drifted off while the kid was watching cartoons.”

His words brought your attention to his face and it was then that you noticed the way the skin under his eyes bruised purple just the slightest, and Toji did indeed look like he needed a nap.

“It’s no trouble for Megumi to hang out here if you need a break. I’m happy to help,” you offered, dipping your chin and smiling at him.

The circumstances regarding Megumi’s mother hadn’t been told to you yet, and because you didn’t feel the need to pry, you hadn’t asked about it. However, it didn’t take knowing all the details for you to surmise that Toji had been doing the single-father business for most—if not all—of Megumi’s life thus far.

Astonishment made Toji’s eyebrows jump, but he agreed to the idea after another second and then reached deep into his pocket to fish for something.

“Here,” he said, holding his phone out to you once he pulled it free from the fabric of his pants. “I meant to do this a while ago.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you took Toji’s phone from his hand and typed your number into it. When you were finished, you made a call to your own phone, and when your ringtone flowed from the kitchen out the window, Toji’s mouth turned upwards in satisfaction.

Megumi appeared a moment later to just barely peek his head around your door. Apprehension made his movements slow, and when he caught Toji’s eye, his father’s face darkened.

“Come ‘ere,” Toji grumbled, waving his hand at his son to beckon him forward. Megumi shuffled out begrudgingly, and you yearned to give the boy a hug, but you figured it wasn’t your place to intervene. Twice now Megumi had snuck out from his father’s (not so) watchful eye, and you had a feeling Toji was about to ensure it didn’t happen again.

Toji swooped Megumi up into his arm to carry him against his side like a football, and after wishing you their goodbyes, they made their way back across the street. A feeling of joy left by the two of them followed you back into your house, and you made sure to add to your shopping list the brand of chips Megumi had requested your help reaching the first time you had met him.

-----------------------

A/N: Luckily, 90% of this entire story is already written out, so I plan to have it all posted by the end of the week.

If you read this pile of self-indulgence, thank you very much <3

#toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x you #toji fushiguro x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x you #jjk x reader

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gretavanbrie · 5 months

Text

Landslide // finale (J.T.K.)

Summary: You’ve loved him for as long as you can remember, does he feel the same?

Pairings: Jake Kiszka x F!Reader

Warnings: big angsty boy! smut (minors DNI!!), and tooth rotting fluff…like sickening how fluffy honestly, smooching and heavy on the pet names. established friendship, alcohol consumption, mentions of alcohol consumption, feelings of heartbreak, long talks, sadness, arguing, feelings of unrequited love, very brief feelings of abandonment, mentions of break ups, oral (f!recieving), fingering (f!receiving), penetrative sex (p in v), veryyy light impact play, multiple orgasms, slight overstimulation if you squint, squirting, praise kink, crying kink, sir kink, reconciliation. If I missed any lmk!! (Vaguely proof read, excuse any mistakes)

A/N: here is part three since part two had to get split in half, lmk ur thoughts!

Part 1 | Part 2

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you said softly, staring as his chest heaved up and down.

“Y/n..” he said with apologetic eyes.

Your heart clenched at the thought of it all. Upon seeing him so disheveled on your doorstep it reignited the hurt he had burned into you. His harsh tone, the angry look in his eye when you tried your best to be supportive, the embarrassment of thinking he was going to tell you he feels the same only to be let down. And ultimately, how easy it was for him to shut you out after almost 20 years of friendship.

“..no.. no, you can’t just do that.” You whispered closing your eyes, shaking your head as if when you opened them again he would be gone.

“Y/n..can we talk? Please?” He asked, voice low and desperate.

“You’ve never- we’ve never done that Jacob. I’ve been waiting to fucking hear from you for almost two fucking weeks and you just randomly show up on my doorstep?” your voice cracked and you stopped to compose yourself before the actual waterworks showed through.

You were usually very emotionally open with Jake, as was he, but this was all new for you. He had never been so absent, let alone after being so mean and you were not going to show him how badly it had actually affected you.

“I-i know… okay? I know that. Just please, I want to apologize…” he said, eyes boring into your own waiting for the invitation inside. You studied his face in hesitation before reluctantly stepping to the side and letting him in.

He hadn’t been inside your house since before the tour. The warm lighting, the plethora of plants, the old records and classic literature that littered your shelves, the thrifted rugs and furniture, especially your old acoustic that was rarely played was all too familiar.

Seeing your place again after so long, after not speaking to you, was almost too much. You were so engraved into his daily life he forgot just how comforting everything about you was for him. He genuinely missed you and seeing his favorite place that was littered with every part of you after you so long had reminded him of how important you are and how foolish it was for him to just leave you in the cold because some girl made him feel even the smallest fraction of what you so easily do for him.

You shut the door behind him as you watched his eyes scan over everything. He was supposed to come over after the welcome party and help you re-string your guitar. He always did it for you ever since you told him you wanted to start playing, he knew you’d get bored of it but he re-stringed it for you without fail just in case you ended up wanting to play it more often.

You knew when his gaze lingered on it a little too long that he was having an onrush of emotion. You guys had never ignored each other, you two have been attached at the hip since before you could ride a bike. This was out of the norm for you guys and you had completely dismissed his feelings in this as well.

“..you can sit y’know’’ you spoke quietly. No matter how angry you were, you wanted him to know he didn’t have to be a stranger in a home he's stepped foot in so many times.

He swiftly turned to look at you, you caught his eyes and there was a gleam of… Adoration? Regret? You couldn’t place your finger on it and you still had wine in your system, you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself.

“Are you mad at me?” He whispered. Jake knew the answer and even he wasn't quite sure what he was looking for with the question. Somewhere deep down he was hoping you weren’t, he was hoping there was still a chance of fixing what he so foolishly broke.

“Are you seriously gonna ask me that? We’ve been friends for twenty years. I mean since we still had baby teeth and you're gonna ask if I'm mad you ignored me for two weeks after you blew up on me?” You said now pissed.

Jake looked defeated, hearing you say twenty years put everything into perspective for him. You guys were almost thirty and he couldn’t believe he so easily blew up on you and shut you out like that, it was immature.

The fallout freshman year of high school was so petty that neither you or Jake could remember the reason for the fight. You guys were also fourteen and rehashed it two days later, there was no reason for you both to be twenty-seven and ignoring each other for two weeks.

“You’re right.. you're right. I’m so sorry.” He said stepping towards you in hopes of grabbing your hand in his, instead you just turned and went to sit on your couch.

“What did I do, Jake? I don’t know what I could’ve done to for you to be so…mad at me. In the entirety of our friendship you’ve never spoken to me like that.” You say avoiding his gaze as he moves to sit next to you on the couch. He shifted his body towards you and his stare was almost begging you to look at him. You were scared to look in his eyes too long, for your resolve would crumble.

“Nothing. You did absolutely nothing and I hate that I made you feel like you did. If I could go back and take it all back I would. I was jus— i was being stupid. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that sunshine.” Hearing your nickname after so long brought you to meet his own sad eyes.

Your gaze softened and your tough exterior crumbled exactly how you thought it would. He was your best friend, he knew every part of you and you knew you guys would be back and better than ever sooner or later but you also didn’t want this to end up back in the same cruel reality you’ve been living in; loving him in silence.

You didn't just wanna go back to being friends. You were too old now to keep suppressing that part of yourself, you wanted all of him. You wanted the romantic parts of Jake. You wanted domesticity, you wanted sexual tension, you wanted it all and you wanted it with him.

Inevitably you’d give in to him regardless, friend or not, and that’s what hurt the worst of it all.

“So then why did you do it?” You quietly asked. He looked down in deep thought, like he was contemplating giving you the real reason or beating around the bush. Jake was terrified of scaring you off if you somehow didn't feel the same. He wanted you back in his life, not to push you away from him again.

“I suppose I just got too in my head and convinced myself you were unhappy for me. I um.. asked Laura to be my girlfriend on impulse and I think I projected my regret onto you. It’s not right, at all. And I am in no means trying to excuse my behavior…just an explanation I guess” he said, avoiding the full truth.

He didn’t think it was the right time to tell you the real reason he projected so badly was because he caught a glimpse of your love for him and it made him realize he wanted you and only you.

You had never seen Jake so unsure of himself. You saw how truly regretful he was and it kind of made you feel bad. You looked at him and you saw his inner child that had grown up alongside yours trying to be a sensible man. You saw the struggle in his eyes, Jake had a harder time processing emotions than you and you were always a guiding hand. Now that you had been apart, you saw how lost he seemed.

“Y/n I don’t think there are enough words in any language to express how sorry I am..” You had to tear your eyes away from his own before you started crying.

You reminded yourself he is a person outside of your friendship with him and it isn’t wrong of him to make a mistake. He had never treated you like this before so it wasn’t necessarily a pattern. It was the heat of the moment and he's expressing his genuine remorse to you. No matter how bad you wanted to, you don’t have it in you to stay mad at him.

“We’ve never gone that long without talking, you shut me out like it was so easy for you.. a-and Sam. I wanna apologize for leaving you guys, I do. I’m sorry for just ditching you all.. I got overwhelmed but you guys texting me like that was a low fucking blow Jake.” You scolded him.

Jake grimaced at the reminder of him and Sam's drunk texts.

“You don’t have to apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for. I made you feel unwelcome when I shouldn’t have. I didn't mean it.. and it certainly wasn't easy y/n. I was drunk and mad at myself, I thought pushing you away would kind of make whatever’s going on up here a bit easier..” he said gesturing to his head.

“…it just made everything worse. And then when I woke up the next day I didn't know how to reach out and I was scared of what you might say” He continued, voice weak. You sat quiet for a moment processing your thoughts before speaking again.

“Listen.. I'm still hurt honestly that you left me in the dark that long. I was waiting for you to apologize for two weeks, Jake. I got nothing but radio fucking silence. I don’t want to not be friends with you, I want things to go back to normal but we’re adults now and I feel like you should’ve handled it like one.” It was a bit harsh granted he was openly communicating his regret but him telling you not to bother reaching out was far more crass.

“I’m sorry.. that was mean. I could’ve said that nicer but I still stand by my point.” You continue.

“You don’t have to apologize, I know what I did was wrong and I'm fully willing to bear the consequences.” Jake said.

“You can say I don’t have to but I want to, it was a welcome home party and I should’ve stayed regardless of my feelings. I don’t want to keep fighting with you anymore, this is weird for us” you let a small laugh escape your lips at the insanity of it all. He chuckled alongside you as he looked down at his tattered boots.

“C’mere..” you whispered standing up. He followed suit as you opened your spare closet and pulled out the guitar kit Jake had made for you.

“I know it’s getting a bit late but I think all the spare wire you gave me is still in there, do you still wanna help me string my guitar?” You smiled up at him nervously.

Jake's heart melted at the sight. The eyes he loved no longer tainted with the sadness he caused and instead sparkling as you stared up at him with the kit he made for you in your hands. The fact that you had even remembered that he would rather do it for you than anyone else had made him far more enamored.

“I would love to.” he smiled, a real Jake smile. One that you had missed dearly.

He grabbed the box from your hands kicking his shoes off. He grabbed your acoustic and made himself comfortable on your couch laying it across his lap. The way he so casually spread his legs and laid it on himself sent the blood rushing to your head and made you weak in the knees. You had never been jealous of a guitar until now.

“Jesus, how long has it been since you played this thing? There are strings missing” he laughed, breaking you from your impure thoughts.

“Yeaaah i couldn't tell ya, i tried to tune it and they popped on me. You might’ve been the last to play it actually..’ you said, standing up to put on a record for some background noise.

Jake didn't care if it was starting to get late or if he hadn’t checked his phone in over an hour, he was here, with you, and he never wanted to leave this bubble you guys created. Things felt normal despite the nasty fallout between you both. It felt right to be with you again and he wasn't gonna let it slip through his fingers this time.

“I played this way before I left for tour, you’ve just been letting this baby collect dust?” He feigned a look of hurt.

“I’m no Jake Kiszka, you know. I psych myself out” you joked, smiling as you sat beside him.

“This Jake guy seems to know his stuff..” he chuckled.

“..yea, I’d say he’s pretty cool” you shrugged bringing your knees to your chest.

“Thank you for hearing me out.” Jake chimed as a few beats of silence enveloped the both of you. He snipped one of the wires before looking at you for confirmation that you heard him.

“Thank you for apologizing… was starting to worry” you nervously giggled trying to lighten the mood.

“What do you say we crack open a bottle of wine and celebrate.” He said, raising his eyebrows at you.

“What are we even celebrating?” You smiled at him.

“I don’t know, I just feel like we never really had a proper chance to. I kinda screwed things up.” Jake nervously laughed.

“Plus you’ve got a good record going, I know you’ve got some wine stashed away. Grab me a glass, won't you darling?” He smiled as his sentence ended in his familiar English accent.

“Oh why of course sir.” You replied, going along with the bit.

As you stood up to open the bottle you had stashed away, Jake couldn't help but smile to himself.

He missed this, he missed you.

Everything felt right, being here with you on your couch fixing up your guitar. He couldn’t believe he was willing to throw it away for some random girl. He didn’t have to hide his true personality around you, you embraced him for who he was with open arms.

He’d rather have you as a friend than nothing at all.

You only poured him a glass since you had been drinking all day and your mind was still a little hazy. When you returned to him with the bottle but only one glass he stared at you inquisitively.

“I drank a lot today, I gotta give myself a break.” You smiled.

“Ahhh that’s right” he chuckled, grabbing the glass. He thanked you before taking a sip and setting it on the coffee table.

“What do you mean that’s right?” you mocked as you looked at him in astonishment.

“You don’t remember the voice message?” He looked at you with amusement painted across his face. You however, looked horrified.

“Voice message?!? It must’ve been before I fell asleep…” you trailed off, eyes bouncing around the room as you tried to gather the memory. You quickly remembered everything as your cheeks warmed from the embarrassment. You shyly covered your face as you recalled your drunk call.

“Sorry.. i just had a lot to drink and one thing led to anoth—“

“It’s cute. Don’t apologize, I don’t think I would’ve been here tonight without it” he cut you off looking down to tune the guitar as he had finished restoring the strings.

Your heart fluttered at him calling you cute.

You felt a new energy linger between the both of you as you watched him gently pluck at each string. The way his brow furrowed when the tune didn’t sound quite right on a string. The way he softly wet his lips and left his mouth slightly parted in concentration made you want to jump his bones right there. Whatever it was, you liked it and you didn’t want him to stop.

“..cute, huh?” You softly teased, smiling at him. You watched as his cheeks turned crimson, you had made him nervous and you secretly liked it.

“You know what I meant, sunshine.” He smiled, continuing his task.

“But pour yourself a glass, at least just one…and cheers me” Jake said, hopeful eyes looking into your own.

“Are you peer-pressing me just so I can cheers you? Did those dare assemblies teach you nothing?” You replied sarcastically.

“If that's what you wanna call it then yes.” He said matter-of-factly.

You just laughed before obliging and opting for just one more glass to end the day. You poured the wine as Jake set the guitar down, picking up his own glass. He waited as you got situated before raising his glass to cheer.

“To being friends!” Jake cheered.

The statement just made your heart sink and you questioned what you were even doing. Your expression fell and your shoulders immediately slumped. You vowed to stop sacrificing that part of yourself for him and here you are, doing just that. Jake noticed your change in demeanor and your glass still level with your chest not clinking against his own.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, lowering his glass and setting it on the table.

The question triggered something in you because something is wrong and always has been wrong.

You have failed to admit it to yourself for years and are you about to blurt it out on a random night after your guy’s biggest argument yet? You didn't know. You were confused and embarrassed that your mood has switched so fast upon hearing a single sentence.

“I’m sorry…” you said as you let a tear quietly slip. You wiped you face before taking a sip of your wine and setting the glass down.

“A-are those happy tears?” Jake nervously smiled, cocking his head to the side; not sure of how to comfort you.

“I can’t— I can’t keep loving you in silence, Jake.” You whispered, covering your face in your hands momentarily. The onrush of emotion was becoming overwhelming.

The room fell silent and the buzzing of the record coming to an end had also come to a halt as if the auto-stop on your player could read the tension you had created in the room.

“W-what?” Jake questioned, voice barely above a whisper.

It wasn’t that you had regretted saying it, you just wish it were under better circumstances and not purely on impulse. On the other hand, you felt relieved that you had finally torn down that wall you’ve been building for years.

“I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know where that came from.. i know you’re with someone and i'm sure she’s great to you, I don’t want ruin that but I’ve been in love with you for too fucking long Jake and I can’t keep trying to convince myself I’m not for the sake of ruining our friendsh—“

Your desperate rambling was quickly cut off by Jake's soft lips crashing against your own.

Your eyes widened in shock before quickly relaxing into him as he hovered above you on the couch. Your lips moved in sync with his, it was everything you had imagined and more. The way yours slotted in so seamlessly with his own. The way he progressively kissed you with more fervor only made your body ache with need. He held onto you as if you’d disappear at any second, as if he was craving this just as much as you if not more. You both moved in a frenzy, eager to explore one another how you both had incessantly craved growing up.

You brought your hands up to cradle his face. You were scared this wasn't real and you needed him to be as tangible as possible. As if his lips on your own wasn't enough, you almost needed him to be engraved within you.

He slipped his tongue in perfectly as he explored what it felt like to finally be kissing you. Jake's head was rushing with emotion, your lips were so sweet against his own. He always imagined them to be soft but the feeling he's getting could never manifest properly within one's imagination. It was a feeling you had to physically experience.

You reluctantly pulled back as you remembered he was with someone and he was your lifelong friend. It felt right but the morality of it was completely wrong.

“J-Jake..” you whispered, pulling your lips from his own. Jake furrowed his brows at the loss of contact and fought himself from going back in for more.

“..we can’t, you're with Laura.” You said, voice cracking as you toyed with the necklaces adorning his chest. You so badly wanted to be his.

“Y/n i broke up with her.” He said, attaching his lips to yours again.

“She could never compare to you..’ he whispered, pulling himself back. His hand softly caressed your cheek as his eyes danced across your face.

“I’m sorry for ever thinking otherwise but i'm here now, all yours.”

You were so hopelessly in love with him it hurt. The way he gently rubbed your face, the pure adoration in his gaze, it was all too good to be true.

“This feels like a dream..’ you whispered back, your eyes shining up at him.

You looked at him with so much love Jake was having a hard time keeping himself composed. Now having felt your kiss for himself he feels sick at the thought of another experiencing the pure euphoria you have to offer. He couldn’t believe he went all this time without it and he certainly didn’t know how he was meant to live life with its absence now that he's gotten a taste.

You pulled him down towards you by his necklaces before gently kissing him again, this time a bit slower. You both wanted to enjoy every bit of this, you wanted to engrave this in your memory for eternity.

The feeling was enrapturing.

Your lips moved in tandem with the other, it felt so natural, like this should’ve been done ages ago. You never believed in the cliches of a kiss. While you didn’t necessarily feel the sparks every love story raved about, the electricity was undeniable. It was unlike any other kiss you had felt.

You didn’t expect your first kiss with Jake to be on your couch but you honestly wouldn’t have it any other way, you couldn’t believe you’re finally experiencing what seventeen year old you thought would never happen. Your hands cupped his face to keep him as close as possible.

Everything felt so surreal.

Jake was as much of a hopeless romantic as you were and this was everything he wanted and more. He couldn’t be more sure that you were the one for him. His hands desperately held the back of your head as your hair tangled within his fingers. You moved your hands from his face to his hair as he deepened the kiss.

You mindlessly tugged at his chestnut locks, Jake let out a low grunt at the feeling, you wanted that sound to replay in your head forever. You’ve never seen him in such desperation for you.

“Y/n..” he mumbled against your lips.

“Hmm” you softly hummed as a reply as you pecked his lips.

“I don’t wanna stop kissing you, I really don’t.. but we gotta-“ he kissed you once more.

“…we gotta slow down. I wanna do things right with you.” He continues.

“Are you getting too excited, jakey?” You teased as you bit your lip. You don’t know where the newfound confidence came from but Jake made you feel so comfortable.

He just tipped his head back and laughed. Jake ran a hand over his face before smiling back down on you, his love drunk eyes scanning every inch of you.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, woman.” He smiled before scooping you up bridal style and carrying you to your bedroom.

He couldn’t believe you were in his arms right now after kissing him with so much desire. If he knew the depth of your feelings for him he would’ve done this a long time ago.

Jake gently laid you on the bed but didn't get in with you, he made his way over to the door instead.

“What are you doing? Are you leaving?’ You ask, sitting up on your elbows.

“No baby, just shutting the door.” He chuckled as butterflies erupted at the pet name. It rolled off his tongue so easily, like he had called you baby forever.

“Mmm i like that, say it again..” you smiled as he leaned over you on the bed to place a peck on your lips.

“What? Shutting the door?” He teased.

“C’mon you have to be nice to me now..” you playfully whined.

“Who says? Not like you’re my girlfriend.”

Ouch.

Jake realized how insensitive that sounded considering you just professed your love to him before having a spontaneous steamy make out session.

The realization settled in that he was in fact right, you weren’t dating and you were getting too comfortable. You cleared your throat as you sat up adjusting yourself.

“I didn’t mean it like that, sunshine.. I was just teasing.”

“No, no you’re right..we're not. I was getting ahead of myself, you don’t have to call me baby..” you paused looking down at your hands before continuing.

“…d-do you think we ruined everything?” You asked, now feeling extremely vulnerable. Jake gently grabbed your chin bringing you to look up at him, he placed a soft kiss on your lips before responding.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to have you like this y/n, if you think we ruined it you're insane. I think we just made everything so much better.” He smiled down at you, you couldn’t help but let a tear escape as you smiled up at him. He truly was the perfect one for you.

‘They’re happy tears this time, promise.” You gave him a tight lipped smile as he planted the messiest peck on your lips wrapping his arms around you.

“I’ll happily call you baby whenever you want, so long as you give me another kiss.” He said looking down at your lips. You giggled before softly placing your lips against his.

He deepened the kiss hovering over you on the bed as your hands found their way back through his hair. You hummed against his lips as his knee came to rest between your legs. The sound was music to Jake’s ears.

You ran your hands along his exposed chest before toying with the last few buttons on his shirt.

“Eager, are we?” Jake teased.

You blushed at the fact he’d taken notice of your desperation. You were trying to play it cool and not like this is the very moment you’ve dreamt about on too many nights alone to count. You were stuck on how you even got in this position in the first place. Jake pecked your lips once more before trailing his way down to your neck.

“Don’t get all shy on me now baby..” the rasp in his voice sent shivers down your spine as he slid a hand up your shirt toying with your bra strap.

‘Is it okay if I take this off?” He whispered in your ear before planting a kiss just below it. You closed your eyes from the pure bliss the proximity brought you, you’ve seen how romantic and sensual Jake can be and you had desperately longed to feel that for yourself.

“Mhmm..” you softly hummed.

“Use your words darling.” His voice was stern, dominating, and you loved it.

Jake was usually very sure of himself in bed yet he was struggling to maintain composure seeing your lust-filled eyes watch his every move. He wanted to make this moment special, he wanted it to be memorable and you made him incredibly nervous. Alike yourself, this is the moment he's been dreaming of and he was certain on making it exceptional.

“Please Jake.” You said, voice merely above a whisper. Jakes eyes fluttered shut at the sweet sound of your desperation, the need in your plea only spurring him on further. In one swift motion your shirt was being pulled over your head.

Jake sat back for a moment to fully admire you. He had seen you in a bikini plenty of times but this was especially different. A bathing suit top is nothing compared to you in a black lace bra underneath him as you stare up at him with love-drunk eyes.

“You’re too good to be true, y/n.” Jake said before hungrily attaching his lips to yours.

He didn’t linger on your lips for long before he started trailing his kisses down your neck and chest before eventually finding purchase on the curve of your boob.

“Take it off.” You said, you were so quiet you weren’t sure he even heard you.

“What?”

“You can take it off, jakey” you reiterated.

Jake wasted no time in unclasping your bra and sliding it down your arms.

“..fuck.” He whispered beneath his breath.

You closed your eyes as his hands moved to massage both your breasts. Jake reattached his lips to the skin of your chest before trailing down and wrapping his lips around your nipple and gently sucking.

You whimpered slightly and you felt Jake grow even harder against your leg. He swirled his tongue around as his other hand came up to roll your other nipple between his thumb and pointer.

“Fuckkk jake..” you moaned.

He let off your breast with a pop before leaving a trail of kisses down your stomach. Your heart rate quickened as he came close to your heat, you couldn’t believe how you ended up in this situation.

“I’m gonna take these off baby, okay?”

“Okay.” You softly giggle as he pulls your sweatpants down your legs, throwing them off to the side of your bed.

“Are we really doing this?” You ask with a nervous smile as he came back up to kiss you once more.

“Only if you really want to.” Jake said, pressing his lips to yours.

“You're not gonna get all weird with me in the morning are you?” You joked.

“Not a chance, sunshine.” He reassured, shining you a comforting smile.

You felt relieved you were finally doing this with someone who understood your emotional needs so well. It wasn't weird that you were becoming intimate with someone you’ve known for so long, it was everything you wanted. You knew at this moment you could trust him with your entire being.

“I'm all yours, baby.” You say pulling him down to feel the taste of his lips on yours again. You couldn’t get enough of it, it was compelling, intoxicating, an addiction waiting to take its course.

With his lips still on your own, Jake moved his hand down to gently move the fabric of your thong to the side. You sighed against his lips as you felt his calloused finger tip collect some of your slick.

“You’re soaked, love..” he mumbled against your lips.

Jake sat back to get a good look at the mess between your legs. Your cunt ached with need and you were eager to feel him inside you.

He swiped his finger across your vulva once more before bringing his fingers to his mouth for a taste. Jake softly hummed at how sweet you tasted, he collected some more on his middle and ring finger before inserting them in your own. You moaned at how hot this side of Jake was. The taste of your arousal mixed with the saltiness of the skin on his fingers, you wanted him to absolutely ruin you.

He slid one finger into your cunt watching and studying how your face contorted in pleasure. Your brows slightly furrowed and your lips softly parted at the feeling of finally feeling the contact you’d been desperately craving. He pumped his finger in and out gently coaxing small moans and whimpers out of you. Jake had never heard prettier sounds in all his years of living.

Jake moved his way down, sliding your underwear down your legs. He moved his face to be level with your dripping core. He laid flat on his stomach wrapping his arms under your knees and resting both of your legs atop his shoulders. Once he had your legs comfortably sat he slipped both his hands under your ass lifting your bottom half into his face. You watched as he connected his mouth to your clit gently sucking. He licked a long stripe, collecting every last drop of the sweet nectar on his tongue.

“You taste so good, sunshine.” Jake said, pulling back; this time inserting two fingers in you.

Your mouth fell slack as he pushed them both to the hilt and curled up. He slowly pumped them inside you as your abdomen tightened from the pleasure. Jake was having a ball seeing the reactions he could emit from you with solely his fingers.

“Tell me how good it feels baby..” he said, slowing his movements as he waited for a response. He looked up at you from his position, his chin coated in your slick. He was so hot like this, you didn’t expect Jake to be so vocal in bed but it ultimately made so much sense.

“Mm.. soo good Jake..” you whimpered, grinding your hips further down on his fingers for more friction.

“Atta girl.” He praised before attaching his mouth to your slit once more.

He was working you at a much faster pace, he was almost feral for you. The pleasure was so intense you could only emit high pitched whines and staggered breaths. Your sounds of pleasure only made Jake want to coax more out of you. His fingers and his tongue moved in harmony as you so gracefully sang for him. Jake was in ecstasy with your thighs clamped around his head as you writhed beneath him.

Jake added a third finger pushing in as far as he could and merciselly pounded his fingers in and out of you while he hungrily sucked on your clit. The feeling of the added finger and the stimulation on your clit had the knot in your stomach tightening faster than you would like to admit.

“I’m close” you whined, gripping his hair in your fingers.

Jake didn’t speed up nor slow down, he knew this was the pace that was drawing you closer and didn’t want to mess up the flow. He looked up to watch how your face beautifully contorted from your impending orgasm. He felt your walls clench around his fingers before you closed your eyes and tipped your head back even further into the pillow.

You felt the knot finally explode as you let out a choked moan from the immense pleasure you were receiving.

Jake gently pulled his fingers out and made his way up to kiss you again. You moaned at the taste of your climax on his lips. He sat back and messed with his belt pulling his pants off. He discarded them with the rest of the clothes lying on the floor.

You pulled him back down towards you to attach your lips to his again. Now that you had finally felt his kiss you couldn’t get enough of it. You moaned against his lips as you toyed with the band of his boxers.

“I don’t have a condom” He spoke against your kiss.

“I’m on birth control.. as long as you don’t have any germs down there im fine.” You giggled moving loose strands of his hair away from his face. Jake chuckled before helping you slip his boxers off.

Your eyes widened upon seeing his shaft spring free.

“Not what you expected?” He teased with a cocky smirk. You rolled your eyes with a laugh but he wasn't entirely wrong. You didn’t expect for him to be small but definitely not this big. Jake’s member was painfully hard, the tip swollen red with pre-cum leaking. He had gotten himself so worked up while pleasing you, he was desperate for release. It was intimidating to say the least.

“Don’t flatter yourself, kiszka.” You jokingly chided.

Jake chuckled before leaning back over you and spreading your legs apart with his knees. He attached his lips to yours in a passionate kiss as you felt his tip come in contact with your slit. You tried pushing your hips down to see if he would slip in even the slightest but to no avail.

“Mm-m… not yet.”

“Gonna please you some more baby” Jake continued.

“But this would please me.” You whined.

“so whiny, just trust me.. yeah?” He breathed as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

”Come stand in front of me..” he said softly.

You got up from your spot on the bed and made your way to stand in between his parted legs. Your hands subconsciously moved to cover your boobs, you felt extremely vulnerable now fully exposed in front of him. You were still getting accustomed to the fact that your lifelong best friend just gave you one of the best orgasms you’ve ever had. His hands gently moved your hands off each boob and kissed along your sternum.

“So beautiful, my woman.” Jake mumbled against your skin. He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear as he retreated from your torso.

He took a moment to admire you on complete display for him. You were stunning, Jake was practically drooling at the sight. He still couldn’t believe you loved him the same as he did.

“temptress of my heart…” he muttered, almost to himself as his eyes drank in your beauty. You blushed and smiled to yourself that he had been so kind to you even in your most vulnerable state.

“If it becomes too much we're gonna use the stoplight system, okay?”

”green you're good, yellow we slow down for a little, red we stop completely.” He held direct eye contact waiting for your answer.

“O-okay.” You shyly replied.

No one had ever dominated you like this and you were eager to see what he had in store for you, you doubt you would even use the safe words but you were glad he ensured your own pleasure above all else.

“Bend over my lap baby.” Jake directed.

You timidly shifted your body to the side of jakes as he laid his hand on your lower back to help guide you over his thighs. You shifted your body down until your torso was across his legs. Jake wrapped his hands around your waist and guided you further towards one side until your top half was almost hanging off him completely giving his arm better access to your center. He gave your ass a squeeze causing you to slightly hum in pleasure, eager for him to carry on.

”You look so pretty like this, sunshine. Bent over my lap, all naked..” he trailed off as he started getting lost in the thought of his fantasy finally becoming a reality. He quickly inserted one finger eliciting a moan from you.

“More..” you pleaded.

”my sweet girl..” he mumbled, inserting another finger, pumping at a faster rate.

“Good job using your words baby..” he said as you let out a high pitched moan as he had started pumping his fingers so fast in and out of you that you were about to slide off his lap entirely if it weren’t for him wrapping his left arm around under your neck combatting the force of his right hand.

The position he had you in only added to the pleasure. Jake added a third finger again, this time stretching you further than before. You dropped your full weight on Jake allowing his arm to fully hold you up as he worked your pussy with fervor.

Your moans had subsided to long drawn out whines as the pleasure had intensified. You’ve never been fingered so well in a position like this and you wondered how you would ever get over him, should something bad happen, now that he's made you feel such intense euphoria.

Jake's soft hums of praise and the lewd squelching of your arousal was all that could be heard as your vocalized pleasure had subsided to silence. Your mouth hung agape as it all became so intense you were experiencing a feeling you had never felt before. Jake only pumped faster as you finally released guttural moans.

The blood rushing to your head from your position made you feel incredibly light headed on top of the pure ecstasy Jake was making you feel. The unfamiliar feeling only grew stronger as he curled his fingers just right, thrusting in and out of you with even more force.

Your hips spasmed against his thighs as your orgasm had completely overtaken all senses. Your vision blurred over for a moment as your release was far more intense than any other you had ever felt. The moan you let put was practically a scream as you heard the rush of your own arousal drip all over the floor as it had completely soaked the side of Jake's leg and down your thighs.

He continued to work you through it as your cum sprayed down his forearm some more. Once you had calmed down and your body had laid limp across his lap, Jake gently guided you to stand up and sit back down more comfortably on his lap while you caught your breath. He gently moved the hair that has stuck to the sweat coating your forehead, allowing you to recover.

‘‘Holy shit, jake..’’ you said, completely exhausted. You curled up against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

”m’sorry about the mess, never done that before” You giggled as the heat rose to your cheeks to which jake slightly chuckled.

”you never have to apologize, baby.” He gently mumbled as his hold on you tightened.

“Color?” He asked.

”green.” You said, lifting your head from the crook of his neck.

Jake smiled bright at you before tapping your calf, signaling you to stand up. You laid back down on your back as Jake crawled above you capturing your lips in yet another kiss. He moved his hand down grabbing ahold of his dick and lining it up with your entrance. Your breath hitched in your throat as you realized Jake was actually about to fuck you. Before you could think on it any further he slowly pushed inside.

“Fucking shit.” He muttered as he bottomed out.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head at the satisfying stretch his member gave you. No one had ever made you feel so full.

“You feel so good, jake.” You moaned.

Jake started out slow as you were emitting tiny ‘uh’ sounds with every thrust. He slowly started picking up speed as he lifted a leg over his shoulder. He bent down to give you a kiss, bending your leg back with him. You moaned against his mouth at the new angle as he began to mercilessly pound in and out of you.

“You’re squeezing me so tight, fuck.’ He groaned as he picked up his pace. Jake was trying his best to hold out as long as possible but he shouldn’t need to worry, you were still so sensitive from the last two orgasms that your third was creeping up embarrassingly fast.

“Harder, sir.” You whimpered. You didn’t know where the name had come from but the fire it ignited behind Jake's irises only gave you all the more confidence.

”say it again.” Jake ordered, his hooded eyes meeting your own.

“Please, sir… I'm so close.” You whined once more.

“Hold it.” He said pulling out of you and forcefully flipping you around. He gripped your hips pulling you onto all fours making sure your torso laid flat on the bed. He lined himself up with your back entrance.

”color.” He demanded.

“Green.” You said before you yelped from the forceful thrust of Jake's hips. He wrapped your hair around his fist once more. Jake was pounding into you so hard your body thrusted forwards from the sheer force of his hips against your backside.

“Pl-please— fuck!” You yelped as he perfectly hit your g spot.

He smirked behind you as he began focusing his thrust on that area. Your soft moans evolving into high pitched whines as he fucked you senseless. You were still incredibly sensitive and you didn’t know how much longer you’d be able to hold out as the pressure had only started rising even more.

“I feel you squeezing around me, i. said. hold. It.” He punctuated his last words with each thrust digging into your cervix, the pain bordered pleasure and the feeling was intoxicating.

Tears pricked at your eyes from the intensity of your impending climax. You cried out as he only picked up speed. Adjusting his grip on your hair, Jake pulled your body up so your back laid flush against his chest. He kissed along your neck as he thrusted upwards.

“Aw, is my sweet girl crying?” Jake said through heavy breaths. You could tell he too was close to a release.

“Just feels soo good, huh angel?” He taunted as the fingers not tangled in your hair came around to toy with your clit.

”please sir” you cried.

”i-i can’t” you continued as tears slid down your face from the fervent pleasure. You knew deep down you could, the pleasure was just overwhelming. It wasn’t like you didn’t feel like you could use your safe word with Jake, deep down you liked the this side of Jake.

“You can, baby. You’re taking it so well. Just one more for me, yea?”

“One more..’ you echoed as you closed your eyes and let him take the reigns. Jake let go of your hair guiding your top half back down on the bed. He turned you on your back once more before slipping back inside your warmth. You both let out sighs of relief as you watched it slide in.

“That’s my girl. Taking it so well, sunshine.” He said as he wiped the remaining tears staining your cheeks. You closed your eyes and hummed as he slowly started thrusting, this time a little slower as he wanted to take his time with you.

Your breathy whimpers spurred Jake on as your eyebrows slightly furrowed from the pleasure. He couldn’t be more enamored by you at this moment. Your breast slightly bounced with his thrusts, your moans were as sweet as a siren's song, your hair perfectly splayed across the pillow, your soft plump lips slightly parted; he was hopelessly in love with you.

”I love you, y/n.” He said before capturing your lips in a sweet kiss. You moaned happily against his lips as his thrusts picked up more speed.

“I love you more..” you said between breaths as he started fucking into you harder. he wrapped both your legs around his hips as he leaned over you. He placed soft kisses along your neck as his cock hit the perfect spot in your core.

Your moans accelerated as did his speed, you were teetering over the edge once more as his member perfectly hit your cervix.

“Can i cum, sir.. please” you pleaded as you tried grinding your hips down in time with his own. The new sensation of your clit rubbing against his pelvis only quickened your oncoming orgasm.

“Mhm, now.” He said picking up pace as his brows furrowed and his hair clung to the beads of sweat adorning his face.

You were sent over the edge as your legs clamped around his hips. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you succumbed to the waves of pleasure radiating throughout your body.

“Fuckkkkkkkk Jake” you let out a drawn out moan at the intensity.

“That's it baby, just let go” he said, coaxing you through your orgasm as another wave of pleasure shot through you.

You felt him twitch inside you before he pulled out and quickly picked his boxers up, pumping his load into the fabric as heavy breaths escaped through his nose.

“Holy shit.” He laughed, discarding the briefs and making his way to lay down next to you.

Jake wasted no time in pulling you into him as he tangled his legs around yours, you felt him start to soften against your leg and you had never felt so intimately connected to someone. Aside from any romantic aspect, he knew you completely, probably better than most and now he knew you even your most private self.

“Best sex I’ve had..” he mumbled as his eyes darted across your blissed out face.

“Didn’t peg you to be soo….dominant, for lack of better word.” You giggled.

”I'm whoever you want me to be, baby.” Jake smiled with heavy eyelids.

“Are you sleepy?” You whispered, resting a palm on his cheek.

“Very, but I don’t wanna go to sleep just yet.” He said. Jake didn’t want this moment to end. He was clinging on to every last moment with you as if when he woke you would cease to exist, as if he had dreamt it all.

”Well, do you wanna take a quick shower and have a sleepover?” You said flashing him a gentle smile.

”I'll take you up on that sleepover but I'm gonna have to postpone that shower..” he chuckled, closing his eyes and stretching his legs. He let out a content sigh before pulling you in close.

”Just a quick one, baby” you mumbled, twisting his hair around your finger.

”Okay but tell me you love me again” he whispered, moving to leave a sweet peck on your lips.

“I loveee you” you giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to you.

”mmmmm…again.” he said, kissing you once more.

”I love you, I love you.” You said gently swiping your nose across his own.

”one more time.” You laughed loudly as he smiled at you.

”come on jakey, you know i love you. I’ve loved you for like… ever.”

”how much you wanna bet i loved you first” Jake challenged.

”not a chance” you scoffed.

“Trust me, I did…I wish we would’ve realized sooner.” he said, eyes trailing down to your lips before darting back up to your eyes.

“Thats why i blew up on you that night, i noticed you were upset and i thought i ruined any chance with you…” he continued.

”Jake..”

”no. Let me finish, I’ve been dying to tell you. I-i started seeing Laura to distract me from you.” You pulled back in shock.

’what?!” You laughed.

“No way, me??!” You continued in shock that he even saw you that way all this time. He laughed at your flabbergasted state.

“Of course you” Jake chuckled.

”Jake I haven’t been in a relationship in years because I couldn't stop thinking about you. I was waiting for one hint that you liked me back but I think I may have been a bit blind.” You sheepishly smiled.

”No, that's on me, sunshine. I had terrible flirting attempts and then I just assumed you didn’t like me back so I tried convincing myself to stop seeing you in that light which..failed, terribly.” He laughed.

“I was trying to convince myself I didn’t have feelings for you either and I guess I ended up convincing you in the process as well.” You joked shining light on how silly it all was.

Jake didn’t seem to laugh. He was oddly quiet and avoiding your gaze.

“J-jake?”

”sorry i just still feel really awful for how i spoke to you. You don’t deserve that from anyone. Now that I know I did in fact break your heart with the news, the way I spoke to you after just makes it worse.”

”its okay bab—“

”no. It’s not. I told myself I would always make sure you were happy and I basically failed. And then i fucking ignore you? Like what was I thinking? You deserve so much better than that. You have a heart of pure fucking gold and I should’ve handled it with more care. I’m so sorry y/n.”

“W-why did you ignore me? If you don’t mind me asking.” you timidly ask, afraid of the answer.

”I suppose initially I thought it’d be better to antagonize you than realize I was the one that fucked up and then I just felt so guilty and almost…paralyzed at the thought that I couldn’t bring myself to reach out and apologize. I was a-ashamed, I felt like I had ruined it all.”

“I see..” you say nervously chewing on your bottom lip.

”well, it doesn’t matter. What happened happened no matter how shitty, we're here now and we just had the time of our lives together… o-or at least i did, I don’t know about y—“ you were cut off by Jake pressing his lips to yours.

”you're cute when you ramble.” He whispered, pulling back. You blushed covering your face by nestling it on his chest.

”how about that shower?” He offered.

”yea, you kinda smell.” You joked, standing up from the bed.

“Hey what happened to being nice to each other?” Jake questioned catching up behind you and giving a small smack to your bare ass.

”you’re right..my apologies, good sir” you mocked.

”you little..” Jake murmured following you into the bathroom. He watched you bend over and turn the shower on. You stopped in front of the sink while you let it warm up, you looked at your reflection for the first time in hours and boy did you look rough. Your hair was all tussled from Jake's grip, your mascara had smeared under your eyes from either the nap or the crying, you honestly didn’t know.

Your eyes trailed over to Jake leaning against the door, unclad, staring at you as if you had hung the moon even amidst the disarray.

“I look crazy.” You giggled wiping the mascara under your eyes. Jake came up from behind and wrapped his arms around your waist before resting a kiss to the back of your head.

”never looked better.” He smiled before pulling back. You turned and pecked him on the lips before yawning.

”Okay let's hop in, I’m getting tired.” You say opening the shower door and stepping in, the long-haired boy following suit.

You let the warm water soothe your exhausted body. You had your back facing the shower head as you leaned your head back to wet your hair. Jake moved closer in front of you helping you soak your hair. You sighed in contentment as you leaned into his touch.

”I love you.” you whispered.

”I love you more, princess.” He said picking up the shampoo bottle and gesturing for you guys to switch spots. Jake allowed the stream to flow down his back, wetting his hair as he lathered shampoo onto yours. He helped you rinse your hair out before you returned the favor shortly thereafter.

The rest of the shower consisted of pretty much that, gentle touches and soft words of adoration exchanged. It was sweet and intimate and everything you could have ever hoped for to end a night like this.

You turned off the water and stepped out to dry yourself off. You wrapped a towel in your hair and started on your night routine. Jake quickly dried his hair with a towel before hanging it up and sifting through your drawers for something to wear.

“I have some boxers I wear as pj shorts if you wanna use those.” You offered rubbing in your lotion.

”where are they? He called back.

”pajama pant drawer.. top left” you said, finishing off the last few steps of your skin care.

“Found them.” He said pulling them out and sliding them on. You slipped into an old t-shirt and some underwear for the night, unwrapping the towel from your hair and hanging it back up. Jake made his way to lay down before you stopped him.

”Wait, don’t lay down yet. I have to clean up or else I can’t sleep.” You giggled.

”righttt, forgot about that.” He smiled to himself. He took a seat on your vanity chair watching as you mindlessly wandered about the room picking up the discarded clothes from earlier and putting all your nick nacks in their designated places. Jake couldn’t help himself from the wide smile that broke on his face upon seeing you so candidly.

The domesticity was enamoring, almost as if you guys were playing house. Jake’s favorite girl cleaning up before bed, freshly showered and eager to lay with him afterwards just as much as he is. He wanted this for the rest of his life.

You adjusted the sheets and fluffed the last pillow before exhaling an accomplished sigh and patting the bed for him to lay.

”Come lay, I'm just gonna turn off the lights and make sure the door is locked.” You say before retreating out of your bedroom.

Jake made himself comfortable in your bed as he patiently waited for you to return, he was over the moon. He never thought he’d have you like this and he couldn’t believe he was stupid enough to almost fuck everything up. He was incredibly thankful to have you by his side, it had become painfully obvious to Jake that there was no one else for him aside from you. You returned with two ice cold water bottles, handing one of them to Jake.

”thank you sunshine.” He murmured, pulling a hand from under the sheets to accept it. He cracked open the cap and took a sip as you plugged your phone in and turned off the bedside lamp.

“C’mere baby” Jake said, pulling you into him by your waist.

You wrapped your legs around his own as you nuzzled your head in the crook of his neck. Jake hummed a quiet tune lulling you to sleep. The endorphins you must’ve been experiencing were at an all time high. After all the drinking, the sex, the warm shower, and jakes soft skin and sweet melodies, you were growing more tired by the minute. You let out a big yawn before Jake started scratching the back of your head.

”Go to sleep baby, you’ve had a long day.” He cood

”m’kay” you murmured, allowing your body to fully submit to the slumber. Jake closed his eyes, still keeping a hand on the back of your head to hold you close. He knew you were asleep the minute soft snores started tickling the base of his neck. He smiled to himself before eventually drifting into a blissful deep sleep.

————————————————————————————

You peered your eyes open at the morning light shining through the curtains into your bedroom. You let your eyes adjust to the brightness as you recalled the events of last night. Before you could think any further you heard the insufferable ringing of your phone.

It was josh calling to see if you were up and ready to pick up your car but you knew Jake would have no issue taking you so you told him you found a friend to take you.

You peered over to your side to find the bed completely empty aside from yourself. You laid a hand where you could’ve sworn Jake was just at, upon feeling the coldness of the sheets your heart sunk. Your mind ran a mile a minute at every possibility until you heard some shuffling out in your kitchen. You slipped the covers off of you before heading in that direction.

You turned the corner to see Jake putting what seemed to be the finishing touches on the surprise he had put together for you. Any and all of your worry had quickly washed away seeing his bright smile, waiting for you to come down.

”What is all this jakey?” You exclaimed, looking around as you walked over to give him a sweet peck on the lips.

”well i was gonna go wake you up but i see you’ve beat me to it.” Jake smiled down at you with a firm hand still on your waist.

The rush of relief from the worry you had felt just a few moments ago was incredibly refreshing. You looked around the kitchen table and saw a bouquet of your favorite flowers, some homemade breakfast, your morning cup of coffee curated to your exact taste because Jake wouldn’t dare to forget how you take it, and a handwritten note to which you had yet to figure out the contents of.

”dig in baby” he said, placing a kiss on the top of your head and reassuringly rubbing your side.

”all of this is for me?” You asked, almost in disbelief. You swiftly turned to look back at him for answers, it seemed pretty obvious but no one had ever taken the time to do this for you let alone after a hookup.

It took all of Jake's strength to prevent his knees from buckling upon seeing your bright doe eyes staring into his own, full of love and wonder. He thought you looked quite adorable in your t-shirt that was way too big for you, your hair all messy from sleeping with it wet, and your sweet morning face. Jake was having a hard time pulling himself away from you this morning, you looked so serene he wouldn’t dare to disturb that. He considered himself a very lucky man to have experienced you in such an intimate way.

Your reaction to his little surprise just solidified the question written in the note for you. You picked up a piece of bacon before offering some to him to which he politely declined.

”You're not gonna eat?” You pouted.

“I accidentally filled myself up, I snagged a few pieces of everything while making it.” He laughed.

”of course you did” you giggled along.

“Can i read this first, i wanna know already” you said, impatiently reaching for the note.

”By all means, sunshine.” he said, taking a seat on one of the chairs.

You shuffled closer to him before taking a seat on his lap. You slipped the last piece of bacon in your mouth before wiping your hands and opening up the letter. Jake wrapped an arm around your waist to hold you up and you could feel the pounding of his heart in his rib cage. You picked up on the sudden heavy breaths, Jake was anxious and for what? Your eyes began to scan the paper.

My sweet y/n.

You have graced me with a love I thought I would never have the privilege of experiencing. You have shown and taught me extreme kindness and immense humility and you dance through this life radiating the most enrapturing of lights. you are the feeling of finishing a puzzle, should you lamentably decide i am no longer worthy of your love it would equate to the most dismal of sun sets for you have been my guiding light. I am incredibly sorrowful that i have waited so long to come to terms with my undying love for you. I have put others before you when you have been the only plausible answer all along. I shall spend the rest of my days reminding you that i choose you, always.

I have fallen in love with you in ways incomprehensible to average man.I have loved you firstly as a friend and confidant and now I am most proud to say i get to love you as the partner you deserve.

It would be of greatest honor if you accept this offer.

my sunshine, will you be my girlfriend?

all my love, Jake.

P.s. Sam says he’s really sorry

You giggled at the last sentence as a subtle sob escaped into the trembling hand covering your mouth. The tears had quietly slipped past your ducts. You swivel your body to face him before abruptly kissing him.

”I'm guessing that’s a yes?’ Jake laughed, shining you the brightest smile.

“A million times yes” you said as the happy tears flowed. You attached your lips to his once more.

You were elated to say the least, if you would have told your 17 year old self that you would be sitting in your kitchen after sleeping with the man you were hopelessly in love with, accepting to be his lover, you wouldn’t have believed it. Alas, you sat there clinging on to the long haired man as if he would slip from your grasps at any moment. You pulled back to slightly catch your breath as you both got lost within the others gaze.

“I love you, sweet lady” Jake cooed.

“I love you more” you replied pecking his lips once more.

Although you may have been a bit dramatic in leaving after hearing he was with someone else, you couldn’t have been more grateful for the outcome it has bestowed upon you both. If things hadn’t happened the way it did, would you have been compelled to confess your feelings or was the perfect nudge in the right direction.

When everything was seemingly crashing down around you as though some emotional landslide, the torn down rubble had paved way for a brand new journey. One to embark with a newfound freedom and irrevocable love.

You two stayed in the rest of the day enjoying the simplistic domesticity, enjoying some records and food together. As you stared at him cleaning up his dishes you realized there isn’t anyone else you would rather spend the rest of your life with.

Turns out the child within your heart can rise above.

Thoughts???!!! How is everybody? Thank you guys again!

#gvf fic #josh kiszka #greta van fleet #gvf smut #jake kiszka angst #jake kiszka #greta van fleet imagine #gvf angst #greta van angst #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka smut #Danny Wagner #Sam kiszka #jake kiszka landslide

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kneelingshadowsalome · 1 year

Text

Who Taught You How to Love Like That? (König x F!OC)

Part 3/3 of Valkyrie

(Part 2 here)

(Part 1 here)

Summary: König gets an order to make a female SpecGru sniper talk, but König doesn't want to hurt women.

Category: Smut 🔞, angst, fluff

Tags & warnings: Explicit mature content +18 audiences only, strangers to lovers (slight enemies to lovers), dubious consent, threats of rape, virgin!König, size kink, size difference, p in v, multiple orgasms, cunnilingus, squirting, hugs and cuddles, super fluffy ending. König will be named in later chapters.

A/N: KorTac and SpecGru are rivaling military contractors, Conor is König's superior (and a huge villain), and I just wanted to write angsty smut featuring our favourite Austrian boi.

The first thing she noticed was the combat dummy in the corner of the room. There was no light in the ceiling, only a small table lamp on the floor next to his bed... Which was really only a thin mattress placed on the floor with a meticulously tucked bed sheet on it. There was no furniture to speak of except for the tall gun safe and some bland table where he had a kettle and a half-open bag of bread lying next to a toaster. There was a small fridge under the table, and deposited there on top of it, out of direct sight, a simple knuckle duster.

Piles of books lay on the floor next to his so called bed, and she was pleasantly surprised: he didn't strike her as a bookworm type of guy. She briefly caught sight of a few titles, mostly nonfiction: he had volumes on rifles and combat sports like krav maga and escrima, along with some German books about hunting, knives…— and there were knives all over the place: hanging from a lone hook on the wall, lying on the table, next to a pile of books, next to the mattress. Probably hidden ones, too, but where in all this minimalistic scarceness, she couldn't tell.

He didn't have a television. There was no computer, not even a laptop. She wondered how his officers got in touch with him, for it was dubious that he even owned a phone.

"This is where I sleep," he introduced his apartment, waving a hand in a vague gesture that said It's not much, but it's home.

She didn't know whether to feel pity or terror. She was relatively sure she was the first girl to set foot in here. The red flags were all over the place, but she only felt a tug near her heart from the realization that this guy was lonely. Like really, really lonely. Potential school shooter who grew up kind of lonely.

God, why did she have to have a soft spot for lunatics like him...

"Would you like some coffee?"

He turned to look at her, and she felt tightness in her chest from that drained, sad stare. He had been so carefree, so giddy, but all of that was gone. She had seen it in the pub already, the moment she laid eyes on him, that something was terribly wrong. She wondered who was the one responsible for making this man lose his goofiness. Shed that lovely, inculpable nature that made him singularly him. Whoever it was, she wanted to smack them in the head. Hard.

Without his gear and mask or even that black face paint, he looked more human. There were no barriers between them, no profession stamped on him: he was simply…him. But the intensity was there, always there. He was an outrageously tall, athletic man, and teeming with latent violence.

She wasn’t intimidated by that, per se. She had fired her rifle alongside dozens of big, dangerous men. Menacing men. It was something else, something essential in this man's character that made her feel a little on edge.

If her mother could see where she was now, in a dark flat filled with nothing but weapons and white bread and a towering, introverted dynamite stick of a man, she would probably deem the situation more dangerous for her than Russia and Brazil combined.

"No thanks, I'm good."

He ran his fingers through his hair, which was much longer than 8 months ago. He still had that side shave, but the light ash curls on top were unkempt and fell partly on his forehead.

"Or tea? I think I got tea here somewhere… "

And there he was: that adorable, silly man she had fallen for.

If nothing more, she would make it her mission to at least get him to smile.

She shook her head slowly before walking to him and grabbing two fistfuls of his black t-shirt. He straightened like someone had called ten-hut, making it clear that she wasn't the only one who felt like a tightly coiled spring. But someone had to make the first move. Someone had to do something.

He had shaved a day, maybe two ago, and the stubble that dusted his chin and the top of his upper lip was only a faint shadow, but still coarse enough to sting her skin as she got up on her toes to kiss him.

He closed his eyes and bent into it. He didn't touch her, wouldn't reach for her, just opened his mouth against hers and moaned. Like a tortured man about to break.

"Mh- I've thought about you every day," she whispered, still clinging to his shirt, and he finally wrapped his arms around her. "Every damn day…"

"Meine kleine Walküre…"

"I thought I would go mad at some point."

I didn't know who you were, I couldn't come back to you, I knew nothing about you.

"I know."

He knew.

He knew the slow descent into madness, the craving. The mornings that felt like waking up in a limbo. The nights that only sharpened the pain.

And of course he did.

"You kept me alive," he said as his erection pressed against her, and her mind was flooded with memories of the grey room, the bleak light in the ceiling, the ropes biting into her wrists, the way he fucked her like they were both going to die the next day.

And she realized that he was real. He wasn't a schizophrenic dream or an erotic nightmare. He wasn't even a soldier; he was a man, a person.

He was a real, actual person under that hood and face paint and tactical vest and ammo pouches. He had an apartment and dirty socks on the floor, and he drank lager, and he had toast and a toaster, and he owned relatively normal clothes.

And right now, even though her panties were soaked, she didn't want him inside her.

"I'm a bit nervous," she said, stiff and near the point of breaking into a cold sweat. He caressed the small of her back and shoved his crotch against her even more eagerly.

"König, please… Could you just… hold me?"

He stopped and swallowed, and his hands traveled back up.

"I will do whatever you wish."

"Perhaps we could lie down? And just… hug, you know?"

"I'd love that," he said, sounding genuinely enthusiastic.

His sheets smelled of him, and she felt the cold sweat intensify. Her stomach sank, and she was glad that she was lying down because her feet wouldn't probably carry her at this point. He laid himself down next to her and gave her his pillow. It was a lovely gesture, but she felt like she was lying down with a murderer. Which he was. Which she was. They both had killed, her confirmed body count reaching 23 when she had left the SpecGru. His count was probably much higher...

She snuggled closer, tucked her head under his chin, and let him hold her. His whole body was tense, but he eased into the embrace after ten or twenty breaths. Cuddling usually came after the sex; after the release of stress and tension, and right now, they were both like teenagers in an empty house with the parents gone. Sweating with the jitters of coming to know how the other person's body felt like.

She dragged a leg over him at some point, and he sank his own between hers, and they just breathed each other. She wondered how they must look, her small form and light blue jeans and white shirt swallowed by all that black he wore. A fair little lady cuddled by a dark giant. A giant who everyone could tell, just by the clothes he wore, was either an employed soldier or a crazy militarist. And she liked that. She fucking loved that he didn't disguise himself as an ordinary civilian. Unlike she did, and she felt like a liar... along with feeling tired of pretending that she wanted the next bachelor when all she really wanted was a guy like him.

Finally, her nerves calmed down, and she could hear the silence of the room, the sound of his breathing, could feel the warmth of his arms around her.

"This feels good," she told him.

"This feels better than anything," he answered.

He seemed peaceful too. All that shifting around had turned into deep breaths and a steady heartbeat. She caressed his back, closed her eyes, and pressed her cheek more firmly against his chest — how many times had she dreamed of this moment? She inhaled him, and the scent aroused different memories this time, making her feel like a balloon drifting up to the ceiling.

"I like you, König." She squeezed him against her. "Like, a lot."

He squeezed her back and announced: "I love you."

Her mind went blank and then screamed error.

She wriggled out of his grasp, propped herself on her elbow, and looked down at him. He stared at her like a dog waiting for a treat from a well-done trick.

"You can't say that, König."

His long, pale lashes batted a few times, and a vertical wrinkle appeared between his brows.

"No, you... You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry. It's just that..." She pursed her lips, bit her lower lip, and placed a hand on his chest. "We barely know each other."

His eyes darted from her lips to her eyes, confused. "But I already know I love you."

How could she argue with a man who looked at her like that? Who looked like a dog being scolded for things he didn’t know he wasn't supposed to do…

I went to therapy because of you.

We met in a fucking bunker where you were asking politely if I would co-operate in you raping me. Fucking co-operate…

And you looked like Death…

"König… Baby, I don't even know your name."

He wrapped an arm around her waist in an attempt to pull her closer.

"Julius."

He said it from the back of his throat, it rolled off his tongue and ended in a soft hiss, and she felt lighter in the head by the minute.

Julius, like… Julius Caesar.

Or July. June and July.

This was so fucked up…

"Can I taste you?"

The wintry eyes looked at her, begging.

"Let me taste you, June. Please…"

Oh God… Yes, please, yes.

"Umm. Sure.."

He moved immediately, and she was almost thrown to lie on her back while he reached for her jeans to take them off, his large hands clumsy and cold against her exposed skin. She raised her hips to help him as he pulled them down, trying to stifle a giggle that was bubbling inside at seeing him so keen on giving her head. The pants got stuck on her ankles, and he tugged them off one leg at a time, causing one sock to come off and the other to come halfway down. And he just left it there, being too preoccupied with getting back between her legs to reach for her panties.

She thanked herself for having put on the smaller, black brazilian knickers instead of some comfortable, worn-out hipsters. And that she had shaved...

He was much more attentive with this piece of clothing, sliding it down like he was opening a gift. And when he took the panties off and still left that lonely sock unattended, crumpled, and forgotten, she couldn't help but snicker.

"Was?"

He looked at her with a perplexed smirk, clueless as to what was so funny — but smiling just for the sake of having made her laugh. The black underwear looked tiny in his hands as he placed it next to the bed.

She remembered how he had left her socks on in the bunker, too, perhaps because he was in a nervous hurry. Or perhaps because he didn't want her to feel cold.

She bent her leg and took it off herself, throwing it somewhere behind him.

"Nothing. Except that you're officially the cutest."

He ran a hand through his hair again. That bashful, boyish attitude made her realize just how much she had missed him. His gaze flicked to her eyes, darted between her legs, flew to examine the floor… and she could see the tent in his pants even though there was little light in the room.

"And now the shirt," she rose to seated and raised her hands up, making it clear what she wanted him to do. He wasted no time pulling it over her head but froze when he was met with the black, laced bra, the only barrier left between him and her complete nakedness.

As much as she wanted to, she didn't tease him by making him figure out the mechanism. She reached for the clasp, and he leaned slightly back when she took it off with little ceremony and threw it on the floor with the rest of her clothing. When she grabbed his hand to bring it to her breast, he looked like he had stopped breathing altogether.

"Everything good?"

"Perfekt," he said, looking terrified.

"Come here," she pulled him by the neck all the way down to lay on top of her. He supported himself on his elbows while his hands came to cradle her head. He was tense again, and she wondered whether the cuddling had been a bad idea — he had relaxed too much and was now overstimulated.

The whole body on her was rigid, but his mouth was soft and warm as he kissed her — so greedily that her legs began to ride up along his sides. When he moved to wolf her neck, her weakest spot, she wrapped her legs around his waist, and he finally melted against her.

"I dreamed of you," he breathed against her skin, making her eyes flutter open and her pussy clench around nothing. "Every night…"

Through the euphoria of his accent and lips, she deciphered that what he actually meant was that he had masturbated on thoughts of her. And she had done the same: stroked herself night after night on thoughts of him telling her how tight and good she felt around him. It was downright sinful how many times she had reminisced the high-pitched sighs, that vulnerable look he had when he shot his cum inside her.

"Did you ever think of me?" He asked with a frail voice.

She had gone on a few dates, had a few fucks. Ended up feeling disappointed, and even more lonely. Dirty and sad — like she was cheating on him…

"If only you knew just how much," she whispered to the ceiling above her.

He brushed a trembling thumb over her cheek and buried himself even deeper in her neck.

"Shit… Ist das dein Ernst?"

She loved it when he spoke German. And hated how most of the time, she couldn’t understand what the hell he was saying.

"June... Du machst mich verrückt."

"What are you saying, silly…"

"You drive me crazy."

He was so… present, devoted. So unlike the men who almost screamed "Score" when they got this far. He was saying stupid, lovely things that didn't sound at all like a yucky romcom, not when they came from him. He ripped her clothes off because he wanted to please her, taste her... And had no trouble pressing against her while having his own clothes still on — those black pants that would get stained if he continued to grind against her drenched pussy like that.

"You'll drive me crazy too if you don't finish what you started..."

He chuckled and resumed giving her those tiny kisses that only left her wanting more.

"Don't worry, little one." He planted a last kiss on her collarbone before diving down.

"I'm not -"

The rest of the sentence turned into a gasp as his lips swept over her sternum, her nipples, sent shivers across her stomach as he trailed down, down…

"Yes you are," he muttered against her mound, going further down still. Like a man with a purpose.

Hot air hit her as his tongue swept through her folds, first pointed and quivering, then flat and hungry. Her hand shot out to grasp his hair, those stupid, adorable curls that drove her to the brink of insanity.

"Mmh," he moaned in her pussy, pressing his lips against her and opening his mouth. She didn't have time to worry about the bite of his stubble, for he pushed his tongue out. Either he had an excellent memory, or then it was beginner's luck, but he hit just the right spot as the hot, wet tongue plunged slightly inside her.

"Oh - fuck.. "

He got the cue to the full, shoving even deeper, sweeping arms around her thighs to pull her against his face. He decoded her within minutes with a combination of flicks, sweeps, and thrusts. She opened her legs wider, felt herself open like a flower, felt the juices leak out while he was at it like a tried and true engine. So tireless that it sent her thighs quivering. They never did that — at least not with anyone else. It was his unique talent to make a mess of her. If he proved smart enough to apply fingers, she would lose her goddamn mind.

"You are dripping," he informed from among the sloppy sounds she was perfectly aware of. "Like a honeycomb…"

What was it with this man that nearly made her cry?

He kissed her with devotion, almost like he was kissing her lips. The languid pecks and slow nips soon turned into french kissing as he applied tongue again. Her fingers curled into his hair on their own accord and pulled. She could feel his mouth open into a grin before a soft huff hit her.

"Heh…" he kissed her again, "Gierig.."

"What does… ah -.. that mean?"

She could’ve cried from frustration when he slowly got back up to his knees. His lips and chin glistened with her - and he was grinning adorably. That earlier naive cuteness made such a comeback that she had a hard time catching her breath.

"Greedy." He licked his lips. "You like it?"

She nodded a few times, many times, and the impish, pussy-drunk grin of his only widened.

"Gut."

He made a move to return down there, looking like he had received the best assignment ever.

"König… Uh, Julius?" She pronounced it like July, and he corrected her immediately.

"Julius."

So husky and sweet from those soaked lips — like music.

"Julius," she rose back to seated, thighs still trembling, and grabbed the front of his shirt. "Could you take this off?"

He reached back with both hands and pulled it off, leaving his hair all tousled once the fabric was drawn over his head. She vaguely knew what to expect, but the amount of muscle still made her gawk like a goldfish.

The man was like a roman sculpture. Not an artificial, overly shredded fitness type of thing, but a man who used his body like it was meant to be used. The light brown hair between the plates of his chest was simply irresistible. She placed a hand on it, and he looked down, fascinated by what she was doing. She ran her fingers through the soft, sparse hair, trailed the breath of it all the way down to his navel. The muscles there rippled at her touch. He was ticklish… and some stupid part of her brain squealed at the discovery.

She wondered whether he had been touched before, whether he had been touched much at all. He had an ungodly shoulders to hips ratio, and a broad, toned physique, which alone should've made women want to crawl all over him. Perhaps he had walked through life half invisible because he wanted to stay that way - in hiding. And suddenly she felt special, outright exceptional... for having been chosen, having been granted access to him. His world.

He trusted her. It should've been a compliment, even a turn-on, but she felt like she didn't deserve it. And it was too late to turn back...

Looking up to his eyes which were fixed on her, expectant and dark, her fingers dropped to his pants, curled under the waistband, and gave it a tug.

"And everything else, too."

He sat back on his legs, opened the belt, undid the zipper, and stood up to take his pants off. From where she was looking, he was like a god, the muscles on his thighs bunching as he switched his weight from one leg to the other to yank his pants down and socks away. When he was finally free of those clothes, he grabbed that monster between his legs with one hand, lifted it, and stroked it absentmindedly while looking down at her, all hungry. Possessive...

Car lights flashed through the window and painted shadows on the wall, on him, painting him with blue and black just before he descended upon her. She greeted him with spread legs and open arms as he got down, carefully, like a man preparing to pray. With his hand still wrapped around himself, he guided the tip to her folds, brows knit together like he was on a serious mission that required all his attention. She reached a hand to grab him too, and it was like a dream, the way they directed him inside together.

Her inner muscles welcomed him home with a greedy pull, not bothered by the stretch that only felt fucking delicious.

She pushed him further in with her legs, wrapped around his hips like a starfish around prey. He was forced to fall on his hands, and he exhaled like someone easing into a hot bath, blowing air from the raw sensation — although he was dipping into somewhere far better than that, she presumed.

She noticed a scar on his neck as he exposed his throat, half-lidded eyes drifting closed with pleasure. Her hand rose on its own will to touch the white protrusion, fingertips caressing the spot where someone had tried to finish him and failed.

And she knew that she didn’t want to spend her life without this man.

Didn’t want to spend a day without him anymore.

He flinched at her touch, looking like he was the one being fucked and not the other way around. Her touch was a reminder that someone had gotten too close - way too close. And had probably paid the full price for their insolence.

“Baby…” she whispered, and his head dropped with a broken sigh, hanging heavy against his chest as he slid in and out of her. It was supposed to be a homecoming, a sweet reunion, but he was shaking and sobbing, grunting between the thrusts.

She knew he was repeating the words in his head, the words he thought she didn’t want to hear.

Fuck it… I love you too.

It was a deafening declaration in her head, one she couldn’t snuff out, one that only got louder as he thrust deeper, pressed against her, and moaned as he buried his face in her hair.

“You feel so good… taste so good,” he said, “smell so good…”

Having the biggest, baddest mercenary of a rivaling military contractor between her legs, sighing how good she was, might be reason enough to seek therapy — but it was also the one thing she knew would send her straight to heaven.

And it was too much.

He was too much. She didn't want to cry, and she didn't want him to hold her, to slide in and out slowly, fondly, lovingly. Just the way he was doing right now… She wanted to drown the blooming intimacy, she wanted him to shut the fuck up and fuck her.

More than anything, she wanted to escape the feeling that she belonged here, with him.

“Please… just..”

“Talk to me, Engel.”

Shit.. It was a purr.

“I need you harder.”

He only slowed down, confused.

“You don’t have to be gentle,” she said, hating herself for tearing apart the one thing she loved most about him.

But he did as he was bid, upping the tempo, going deeper, breaking her in all the ways she wanted him to. Needed him to.

"Like this?" The voice was abrupt, metallic, almost freezing. It didn't belong to a man, it belonged to a soldier executing an order.

“Yes…”

He was looking at her, and this time it was her turn to avoid the gaze. She already knew it was filled with confusion and hunger and sadness. She looked at his muscles at work, the ridiculously large cock disappearing into her, she looked at the scars... That scar, the one that screamed that not only he was lucky that the weapon had missed by an inch. That she should count her blessings, too.

At some point, he grunted in frustration and moved to throw her legs over his shoulders. He could pound inside even deeper like this, and it didn’t hurt at all, even though she felt a strange warmth pool somewhere deep in her abdomen.

He fucked her on that thin mattress and all she could think about was whether he would offer her tea or coffee after, or bring her toast to the bed.

“Harder..”

The sheet started to come off, the slick sounds bordering on pornographic, his chest getting covered in sweat.

God, she made him sweat. She wanted to wash him after, smear him with whatever stupid shower gel he had in his apartment that reeked of loneliness, a fragrance she knew more than well.

She wondered if he would want to cuddle again after they had showered together. Or cuddle before, so she could inhale his scent, the full brunt of him. If she could stay for the night. Fuck…

“Harder.”

He dared to whimper, dared to look at her all helpless. But obeyed.

Shit, he felt good. Too good. Too fucking….

"Wait..."

She was about to come, but something was different.

"Wait-"

Something was wrong and right at the same time, the thickness and length pressing onto something unusually delicious. It left her shaking, caused her to feel full to the brim. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out, and he wouldn't relent with the thrusts, but he had to soon enough, for she burst, literally, with wetness that spread through the sheets under them and caused his cock to fly out of her with a gush of moisture.

Oh jesusfuckinggod… -

He was between her legs, cock bouncing up and down. It was sheened with an insane amount of natural lube, and he was looking down at what she had done.

"What happened?"

The innocent question, the humiliation made her cheeks pang with heat.

Take a deep breath, calm down, calm the fuck down..

"It's…"

It's called squirting, you adorable big puppy. You just made me fucking squirt.

"It's a woman's orgasm but times ten?"

She wanted to add Jesus Christ I'm sorry, and it's a good thing, trust me, but she didn't need to.

"I… made you do that?"

She nodded, and another wide grin slowly spread on his face. He adored the scene, amazed and eyes sparkling like it was Christmas morning and he had walked up to see that there were presents under the tree.

He reached for his cock to insert himself back inside, but she jerked away.

"No, wait… It - it might happen again," she stuttered a warning. She wasn't sure, but she didn't want to take the risk. This kind of thing had never occurred, even if she knew what it was. Even envied those who had had the experience. But for the love of god, why did it have to be him out of all men who got to witness it when it finally happened…

But he only looked even more reckless. Almost wild.

"So let's do it again!" He was so excited that his voice spiked up a few notes.

"But your sheets…"

"Nevermind them," he huffed, ecstatic, and crawled forward. He pushed inside, fast and luscious, and she knew right then and there that it would definitely happen again.

He began to ruin her with a frenzy that was almost eerie. The rhythm of slick sounds told her enough, told her that he pistoned her with a pace that would soon drive her insane.

“You’re a fucking fantasy, June,” he groaned, the darker parts of what made him a ruthless professional soldier leaking through.

"Oh God," she breathed this time, deciding she could feel ashamed later. "It feels so fucking good…"

"I'll be good to you, Engel, I'll be good," he grunted as he continued to fuck her brains out.

She cursed and moaned and wailed, letting all his neighbours know that the big, quiet soldier boy was good at what he did. Fucking best. And she knew she should've said her prayers when her eyes rolled in her head and she started to see white.

It didn't take longer than a second or two before it happened again, this time with a force that nearly made her snap and split in half. More than a few squirts hit him as he pulled out. His jaw hung open like he was looking at fireworks.

“Huh -mh, yeah,” he wheezed, sounding dazed. “Verdammt - scheiße…”

She was writhing, crying, shedding actual tears — grabbing the sheet next to her head with one hand and beside her thigh with the other. Her legs were spread like she was on display, her thighs shaking like the muscles there had been permanently damaged. Kate had been more right than should've been legally fair…

"Gott, du bist schön," he commented on the sight while stroking himself, eased by the fluids all over his cock.

She thought about helping him, but couldn't get up, couldn't even move her hands, could only pant and shudder as he milked himself before her to a quick release.

He threw his head back and almost roared, and the only thing on her mind was the phrase saddest people cum the hardest as his seed shot out in generous spurts, hitting her almost in the face. The first gush already ran down her neck by the time the second fell, a thick rope of cum landing on her breasts, the rest on her stomach.

Something twisted in her stomach when she realized he had called her beautiful one moment and proceeded to cover her with cum the next.

Men…

But it was so fucking good that she only wanted to raise a hand and spread his seed all over her. He was breathing heavily with a softening cock in his fist, the last of the cum dripping to join the mess she had made.

"I hope you got a spare one," she looked at the destroyed sheet between them.

"Yeah," he panted still, half-lidded eyes looking at her up and down like he was piss-drunk and about to pass out.

She patted the space next to her, and he collapsed there, staring at the ceiling, probably trying to remember his name. She took his arm and raised it to wiggle herself under it and against him.

It felt good, being glued to him like this… Naked and spent and sweaty. He shifted, turned to face her, and took her in his arms as they both lay on their side, breathing heavily. She was pressed against the damp hair on his chest while his cum trailed little pathways between them.

"Please tell me you're mine, little Valkyrie," he whispered in her hair. He inhaled deeply and exhaled fully, like he had been in the thin mountain air and only now got enough oxygen again.

"June, I want you and no one else."

Oh, honey… it's just the mind-blowing sex talking.

It was pillow talk and hormones and trauma and all that shit. She was now 110 % sure that he had lost his virginity in that bunker. He wasn't the first nor the last man who thought they had fallen in love with a woman, not realizing what they had really fallen for was sex.

"I love you, June. If you don't want to hear it anymore, I won't say it. But it's true."

"Look…" she sighed.

This was so fucking awkward...

"Have you ever been in love before..?"

"No."

"Listen. I like you, you're a nice guy. And I want to get to know you, really, I do…-"

His breath had shallowed — far too much. The large chest beside her heaved, and she could both hear and feel his heart thumping. He shifted away from her, and she snapped her mouth shut. Slowly, she raised to look at him, and the sight drove a fucking lance through her heart.

She didn’t really know what a panic attack was, but was fairly positive that he was about to have one. He was laying on his back, big palms against his head, and he slid them over his eyes, trying to hide from her. His breathing was getting out of hand by the minute.

Fuck… Why did she have to fucking ruin everything?

"Hey, baby. It's alright. Everything's all right, just.. Breathe. Or talk to me…?"

He balanced on the edge of hyperventilation, still holding his head with his hands, eyes squeezed shut and that beautiful face distorted into agony and pain.

"You don't… want me."

Ice seeped into the pit of her stomach.

"Yeah, it's true I've never been with anyone. I was too shy. Ich habe nie bekommen, was ich wirklich will. Alle lachten und nannten mich Schwul… Und das war nicht das Einzige- mmh."

He was sweating from the German confession she understood but a few words of.

The only thing she caught was something about everyone laughing at him. People were horrible sometimes… or usually. People were vile, they were fucking bullies. But even if he was a bit too kind, a little too eager to please, and socially more than a bit on the awkward side of things, she had thought it a miracle that anyone would pester someone of his size. But exclusion and words could hurt too.

And she felt like an asshole.

She was good at bringing down strong, beautiful things. She liked to drag them through the mud. She was talented at taking aim at the most vulnerable parts and pulling the trigger... But he was already there. He was looking at her from a pool of blood and shit and tears. And she was not the only one who got traumatized in that box made of cement. She was not the only one who had had it rough growing up. From what she could tell, he had had it much worse.

"June, you feel so good that it hurts."

Shit…

Her stomach burst with golden fireflies, a warmth that spread to her heart, her whole chest. Ice and gold and fire mixed together, and she knew it was dangerous… He was dangerous. He was the most frightening thing she had ever faced.

She reached to brush his chest, feeling clumsy, like a child. A total amateur when it came to these things.

"You feel good too," she whispered. "So good. I'm just- I'm scared. It's scary."

She put her arm around him and pulled, then yanked when he wouldn't move. He turned, and she took him in her arms. His head pressed inelegantly between her breasts as she gave him a hug that she hoped would deliver all her affection.

He almost trembled in her arms, and the stabbing, burning feeling in her chest wouldn't stop.

"You really stole my heart, you know? Right from the start."

A breath of warm air crashed against her skin as she slowly stroked the back of his head and whispered in his hair.

"And I've thought about you ever since. It's ok if you want to say it. If that's how you truly feel. But please don't say that I don't want you. Because that sure as hell ain't true."

"...Ok," he muttered in her tits — a quiet, damped breath.

"König, could you just give me some… time? Just take it slow, if that's ok with you."

She refused to say his real name, knowing she wouldn't be able to lie anymore if she did. That she was just as far gone as he was, and having a radical acceptance moment about it. Even her therapist would’ve been proud… Or not. But she really didn't give a fuck.

She released her death grip on him a little, and he slowly raised his head to look at her. It was oddly charming that he was looking up at her and not the other way around.

"Take it slow. Ok. I promise I'll be good to you."

She tried her best not to burst into tears. She tried her very best to keep her hand steady as it caressed his hair, his neck, his back.

"You're so sweet."

She moved to kiss him, a pure cinematic kiss that was unhurried, exquisite, and just the kind of starved that told her he was the one.

"Anybody ever told you how sweet you are?" She whispered in his mouth and could feel how the muscles on his stomach contracted.

"Nein," he rasped back, voice so low that she nearly didn't recognize it belonged to him. He was getting hard again, too.

"Well, now you know," She kissed the top of his nose. She wondered if he had the kind of skin type that was full of freckles in summer.

"You're sweet," he said, the warmth of his words melting her like snow in spring, "like.. cotton candy. Or Apfelstrudel."

"Did you just call me a Strudel?"

"It's a dessert," he explained.

"I know it's a dessert, you… bear," she sputtered with her lack of words.

"Is that the best you can do?" He hummed against her lips, laughter barely a breath away.

"No. But it's your fault that my brain stops working."

He rolled partly on top of her again, his scent hitting her like a drug. The stubble scratched her skin, over and over again, as he kissed her, added tongue, sucked her lip, pressed against her like she was dying and he needed to give her mouth-to-mouth CPR asap.

When he withdrew, only an inch, she was breathless again. And he was smiling.

"Could you say it..? Please, just once. That you're my girl," he pressed his forehead on hers, his eyes betraying all the things she had no courage to show. He was many things, but he was certainly not a coward.

"I'm yours, King. I'm your girl."

"And I'm all yours, June."

She closed her eyes, savored those words, relished the feeling of commitment that was completely novel to her.

"When will you head back?"

"I… cannot tell you that."

She wondered how exactly she was supposed to go home with the knowledge that he would be out there in the field, changing mags amidst grenades and bullets.

"Soon."

"I gotta text Kate that I'm staying over. So she won't worry…"

"You'll stay for the night?"

He sounded so delighted. Excited. Like a dog wagging a tail... She wanted to crush him into another hug and cry until she felt raw.

"Yeah, if you change that sheet.”

She got up, walked to get her jacket, groped through the pockets — and her fingers caught to something small and bendy. Magical thinking or not, it felt like fate, and her lips curled into a small smile.

She found her phone, sent a text to Kate, then put it on mute, shoved it back into the pocket, and twiddled the plastic toy for a moment before closing it inside her palm.

When she returned to him, she had to do a double take. He looked so wiped out - so thoroughly drowsy and content - that it made the gold melt and spread inside her like fire.

"I have something for you."

He rose to his elbows, and she crouched beside him, took his hand, and dropped the small, olive-green toy soldier in his palm.

"It's my lucky charm. Had it on me on every mission."

It had a short key chain attached to it. She wondered whether he would tuck it inside his pocket, or if he would keep it on a table beside his bed. Or attach it somewhere, to bring him luck as it had brought to her. Even on that mission when KorTac had taken her as a prisoner. Especially on that mission…

"Can I ask something in return?"

"Anything."

She looked for it, found it on the floor, and picked it up.

"Can I have this?" She held up his black t-shirt and then brought it to her heart, grasping it tightly with two hands like a plush toy. "It smells of you," she explained, although it must've been obvious why she wanted it. The impact of her request on him was a swelling erection that twitched as he watched her, lips pursed tight, brows drawn together. He was blinking rapidly, trying to dry the tears that had started to form.

"Of course you can, Liebling."

"I can wrap myself in you even when you're away."

A miserable little groan escaped him as his lips tightened even more. She placed his shirt down and crawled back to the bed next to him.

"The downside is that it might stop having your scent in it," she pouted a lip, "but you can always bring me a fresh one when you come back, right?"

His sigh was heartbreaking.

"I can't help it, June."

"June, please don't take this the wrong way. I ask this question because you need to address it someday. Now… Is there any part of you that enjoyed it?"

She had thought of him every fucking day for the past 8 months now. She had thought of his hands, his cock, his puppy eyes, and most of all, that sad, abandoned look he gave her right before she turned and left.

"Did you like him?"

"You'll think I'm crazy."

"This is a place where you can safely say whatever is on your mind."

So what if it didn't make any sense? Who the fuck cared anyway?

Fuck it.

Just fuck it.

As if it was going to get any better by not saying it. Nothing could be worse than those months without him.

"You know what… I can't help it either. And I don't wanna take it slow."

---

"You've been kinda up lately."

Zero munched on whatever was on the menu today — König hadn't really paid mind to what it was.

"Leave went well?"

All eyes turned on him, and he was glad of the hood.

If only they knew just how well…

It had been the best leave ever. She hadn't stayed just for one night; she had stayed for three.

They had gone to see a new Marvel movie, and her kisses had tasted of popcorn and lemonade in the dark theatre. Half of the movie rolled past without him noticing what it was about. She had wanted to go to a sushi restaurant after and make him try all kinds of weird rolls — she had practically fed him with her own chopsticks, wanting to see what kind of reaction he had to each bite. They had gone to that pub for another round, and he had made her taste different types of beers, and when they got to pilsner and unfiltered witbier, she had stuck her tongue out and made a face. "You drink piss in Austria?"

They had gone to the gym, and he had taught her how to do a power clean, and she had insisted on staying in front of him when he did squats — for the purpose of giving him a quick kiss every time he did a rep, she informed him. He was supposed to do a series of 8 but ended up doing at least 12 reps, even with all that weight on his back.

He had shown her his favorite scope, detached it for her inspection from the SAKO he had in the safe. She said it was cool, but she knew a few better ones. And then she looked at him with a mischievous grin and said he should be fingering her instead of gun parts.

They had made love several times a day, just unhinged sex, until he felt soft in the head. Sex in the morning and sex in the evening, and sex at night when the other had woken up, too excited to sleep. They had showered together and done it there, too. He had dried her with his towel and carried her back to bed, all wet and giggling and soft and so sweet he had no words for her, neither in German nor English.

They had ordered takeaway on the last night, and he had watched as she ate it straight from the box, wearing only - and only - one of his shirts that looked huge on her. He had eaten her out not shortly after.

She gave him his first blowjob in the hallway of his apartment, just before he had to leave. He had almost missed the plane. Only when he was running to the gates that were already closing had it occurred to him that perhaps that's what she had aimed for.

And when the plane finally took off, he was blanketed by everything she said. That he was an adorable dumbass and her big boy and a gentleman and how good he was in bed, and that she would count the days to when they would see each other again. And that if he got killed, she would come and raise him from the dead and kill him again for daring to leave her.

"Ja, I got that pint. And the… girl."

"König got laid?" Fender nearly choked on his spaghetti.

Zero gave a hearty laugh, and König felt his cheeks grow hot under the mask.

"That's my man!"

He felt a slap on his back and Conor's eyes on him from across the table but didn't care.

They would eventually get interested in the toy soldier attached to his rifle, dangling from a key chain. The token bestowed upon him... her blessing. Physical evidence that she was real and had left with his shirt and now slept in it.

A reminder that he had a home to go back to.

#könig fanfiction #könig smut #könig mw2 #könig call of duty #könig imagine #mw2 smut #my fics #könig x oc #könig #könig x female oc

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