#val loves poetry

[youre-ackermine]

SONNET XVII

- Pablo Neruda -

 "I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,   

or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:   

I love you as one loves certain obscure things,   

secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

.

I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries   

the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,   

and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose   

from the earth lives dimly in my body.

.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,   

I love you directly without problems or pride:

I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,

.

except in this form in which I am not nor are you,   

so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,   

so close that your eyes close with my dreams."

-

Pablo Neruda - “One Hundred Love Sonnets" - 1959

Translation : Mark Eisner (2004)

[enigmasandepiphanies]

one of the best realizations I have had as I have grown up is how amazing it is to show up for the people you love, unashamedly and unapologetically. show up to their classical music productions when you don't know anything about that kind of music, their chemistry club meetings when you are a literature student and don't know anything about chemistry but your bestie is doing cool experiments with copper sulphate, the very alluring blue portion you were tempted to drink in school cause it looked so magical. show up when they wake up from a long nap and have missed dinner and are feeling shitty, make them maggi and get them their fave chocolate. show up when they rant about animal documentaries excitedly and listen when they tell you the plot of jujustu kaisan at 4 am during exam week. take a walk with them at 11 pm in night because they told you you have no classes tomorrow so come down (it's their emotionally suppressed way of saying I miss you). cuddle with them to sleep because they are scared of thunderstorms. make them an art piece and write them a love letter for their birthday to show them you love them so much and you will never stop probably and that scares you sometimes but their presence will reassure you always. I know you know that they know that you love them but when you gift them your "an incomplete list of things you love about them" in your shitty handwriting they will smile and cry and choke you in a hug for 5 mins, it will be a smile spilling out of the sun and it'll be so worth it always. reply to their messages of hey "your name" except your name gets weirder and weirder cause they are bored and miss you and wanna talk and even if you are busy and tired , do return some of their affection with a small message that yes, you missed them too even though you are too tired to express. give them your fave drawing and you'll see how they have hung it up on their cork board in their dorm room. tell them to spam their earring collections and marvel over their strawberry earrings. send them a video message when they send you their jiggly caramel pudding video because omg they can cook now and you are so happy for them that you want to portal through the phone and hug them (you're gonna give them a recipe notebook for their birthday). let them rant on the phone while you fold your laundry, it's manageable mostly.

there are days when you can't show up and it's okay and they'll understand, most people who love you do, they should. but gosh, putting in effort in any relationship isn't that the best thing? because they are not just worth your love, the point of worth never even comes cause they are the very meaning of love. because God remember what Miyazaki said when you love someone you inspire each other to live and grow even when you recognize how hard living is. growing is difficult but you love growing with them.

I used to think I love people too much but you know what they love me too much too. so when someone asked richard siken what do you do when you love someone too much he said congratulate yourself. and today I am congratulating myself cause I know the loves of my life are doing that too.

[blueeyeddarkknight]

Here's the angry poem guys! Sorry I forgot to post it

I'll attach it to the other post as part 2

[godguidemyhand]

Mother, Burn

Inspired by Val, Outlast

Your face portrays obsession,

Your name speaks guilt,

Your body creates Heaven,

Your soul worships sin.

Your nails bleed desperation,

Your heart beats dishonor,

Your tongue laps answers,

Your throat spits lies.

Your hands choke malice,

Your voice trembles desire,

Your groin seeks Hell,

Your smile embraces blasphemy.

Killer of Paradise.

Eater of Man.

Widow of Cure.

Embracer of Disease.

[satanfemme]

[ID: a poem titled, "Isaac's Final Ecstasy". It reads, "I am the Devil — I’m Kurt Cobain — I am every grieving Mother’s pain. / My own effect — a hit for hire — but don’t mistake my hurt for Fire. / I am the Hollow Wandered Man! the Quiet, Darkness, and the Ram! / Now if you lay your Head to rest — against my quivering fur Chest — / And reach out for my Hand… — / too sad to cry / too sad to cry / Avert your gaze from marble Eyes — / I am the wooly Sacrifice — / An axen shadow eclipses Paradise — / A black veil crosses my lowered Head — / And I’m the one who’s lifting it." End ID]

Isaac's Final Ecstasy, V. V.

[moinsbienquekaworu]

i am about to sleep but i wanted to ask what your favorite poem is? will you tell me about it? what you love and why it’s your favorite? do you like any of its translations? i love you. i hope you have a good day 🥰

(⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) beloved thank you for the question!!! As per usual I am incapable of choosing just one of a thing, so I actually have two favourite poems, one in french and one in english (because poetry in french and in english can be pretty different since the codes and models and expectations aren't always the same!) They're the two poems I can recite and know by heart haha.

The english one is Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, by Robert Frost. I really like the last stanza (like everyone else) but also just the way when you say it out loud it does feel like a quiet moment watching the snow fall all on your own. I found it recently accompanying a fic (two different fics actually but the second time I knew it) and it entranced me!

The french one is Chanson d'Automne by Paul Verlaine. It's a classic in France, some of its lines were used as a signal for saboteurs during WWII and there's an urban legend it was used to signal the landing in Normandy. I personally had to learn it by heart in primary school (I think in 4th grade?) and it just stuck with me. I like it for the way it feels to me and the images it evokes, but also just because it was the first poem I learnt by heart and being able to recite a poem is an easily overlooked comfort of life (insert those posts and quotes about art being vital and what we need to be able to turn to in dark or light times)

Other poems I like include Remords Posthume and L'Albatros by Baudelaire, Le Dormeur du Val by Rimbaud, Le Déserteur and Je Voudrais Pas Crever by Boris Vian, Funeral Blues by W. H. Auden, and Mad Girl's Love Song by Sylvia Plath. The french ones I studied in school, and I found the english ones on my own (I feel like I found both in Johnlock fics?? but I might be wrong about Funeral Blues, it's been years) I included english translations where I could for the french ones, and they're not necessarily incredible but they should let you get the vibe. If one of them speaks to you I can try to explain what makes it tick! My personal anecdotes with those because that's half the fun: we had to analyse Remords Posthume for literature class with my best friend K, and what's really cool about it is the last line, "et le ver rongera ta peau comme un remords", because it plays on the homonymy between ver, the worm, and vers, the line of poetry, meaning she will be devoured physically by worms since she'll be dead but also that his verses, his poem, will make her feel remorse; I like the albatross analogy because I was a weird kid who felt comfortable with books but not with my peers; Le Dormeur du Val is extremely extremely sad and beautiful and I think Rimbaud was a very interesting guy; technically Le Déserteur is a song and not a poem but I first saw the text without knowing that so for me it's a poem forever now, and I love talking about the original versus final ending thing; the YouTube channel Le Mock did an excellent reading of Je Voudrais Pas Crever and it's a jewel, I love it so so much; Funeral Blues was the first english poem I ever liked (or maybe read honestly) and I wrote it on the cover of my 10th grade english notebook (because the teacher was great and said that if we forgot to do our homework he wouldn't punish us if we could recite a poem for him, so I wrote it down and tried to learn if by heart in case I forgot my homework); and Mad Girl's Love Song features in a fic I read a few weeks ago and I just think it's neat. I probably forgot some but those are the ones I remember right now (edit: ADA LIMÓN!! I FORGOT ADA LIMÓN!!! Accident Report in the Tall, Tall Weeds (the I can't help it, I love the way men love poem) hit me in the chest the first time I read it and it's so so good)

My favourites (and most of the poems I like actually) are pretty popular because I'm not really into poetry that much on my own. I get attached to poems once I see how they work inside and analyse them, but I don't sit down and decide to analyse some poem from Les Fleurs du Mal at random because it feels like homework, and I don't go looking for poetry because I'm very hit or miss (I get bored at long winded descriptions in those 4-part 7-pages poems and a lot of things trip up my instinctual Pretentiousness Radar™, and while it's not necessarily accurate it does turn me off poems). So I just stay with the basics, but that's fine, because the comfort of carrying poems with you is there whatever the poem is y'know?

Also question, do americans learn poetry in school? I assume you must analyse some in literature class, but I don't know if you learn poems when you're young. I know we also do lots of La Fontaine's Fables, though I personally never did, but learning poems to recite in primary school is a thing almost everyone has done here I think.

[jfenix7]

https://www.instagram.com/jacefreywritings/

[livingecho-arch]

❝ ⸺but i haven't lost my mind like you . you think that this is the work of God ? isn't this all nothing more than your own personal nightmare ? just like evla all those years ago ? if this really is the work of God , then I'd say HE HAS PRETTY LOUSY TASTE ! ❞

[bird-1e]

sometimes life is very hard and you can’t do anything about it. no matter how hard i try to fix it, my dog is still dead and my best friends still left and i’ve still been assaulted and the nights still come when i can’t think about anything except how much i love everyone that’s ever abandoned me. i can’t handle it sometimes

[prince-liest]

Your last 666 series installment is the best thing that happened to me. Its full of gore, somehow fluffy and wait-.. do I finally see some FRICKING COMUNICATION between the two idiots!?!?!

Ngl, Vox's 'Alastor not being able to love' statement hurt my soul. Your writing is brilliant and and let's just see what ending ya wro-..O MA LORD IS THAT VAL'S LOVE POTION!?!?!?!?

Now I need to know what's next!!!! And VOX I SWEAR IF U USE THIS SITUATION IN ANY WAY IM GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE.

This series is a blast♡ love it!♡ makes me weirdly passionate and excited hah!

Some communication, and some communication failure, hahaha. They're going to be talking a lot more in the next one, actually, because I meant to write some NSFW and they had to go and attempt a healthy conversation instead. What can you do.

Thank you so much, I'm delighted that you're enjoying! :D

And: Way more anon asks about the latest 666 getting answered under the cut! <3 I combined a bunch from the last couple of days.

prince, I'm going insane over the latest fic. so we know from Alastor's inner monologue that he knows the roofie was an accident, but considering the super stressful situation, the fact that Vox was the one to ask for a kiss and the fact that Alastor accused him of wanting instead of loving him not a few minutes ago…. makes me wonder if Vox might not be at least a little worred that Alastor might think it was on purpose <3 gonna be rotating this in my head for the foreseeable future - ✨

I am so glad that these things are on y'all's minds, hahaha. Because you can bet they are on mine. >:D And THANK YOU, very pleased to be dragging everyone down into insanity with me.

“Should I stitch together the scars your teeth left in me in a mirror of my own signature on your body.” Fucking. POETRY. 🐈‍⬛

I am always so happy when I write shit like this and instead of everyone pointing at me and going, "Look, what an EDGELORD!" the response is you people being VERY nice and leaning into the feelsy fun! 💛

holy moly ??? i love the new 666 addition aaaah 😭🙏 the trials and tribulations of feeling scorned and ghosted by a loser who confessed his love to you and the next time you see him he’s holding your LITERAL heart in his hands by alastor ! OMFG this was too good esp the part where vox is like “bro why do YOU CARE ?? i thought you didn’t love me huh?” and alastor is like well. maybe i.do. 😐 LIKE CMONN this really played out like some soap drama and i loved the neat details on resuscitative thoroctomy (learned a new word too so double bonus) the fact vel was on the line w her and val’s apparent surgeon for val’a little ‘incidents ??? GOLDEN I SAYY hope we see more of ur oc … 🫣🫣 btw ofc vox would love to an end an argument with a kiss OF FUCKING COURSE HE WOULD 😭 thank u sm for this chapter princeliest my dear <3 hope life is treating u well too !! -🦌

Vox is ahead of Alastor in terms of effective in-the-moment conflict resolution, but goddamn if he isn't fucked up in his own fun little ways. They're so not done with most of these issues, but at least they're on they're way to maybe be able to have a real conversation about them!

You know. If they chose to do that kind thing. Instead of whatever they will probably do instead.

Anyway, THANK YOU!! I had a great deal of fun writing this chapter and digging into some of the issues that have been slowly collecting underneath the surface of kinky radiostatic, so I'm happy you guys are enjoying as well!! :D

AS FOR MY OC... I WILL POST ABOUT THEM SOON. I LOVE THEM A LOT AND IT EXCITES ME THAT PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW MORE OF THEM. Tysm for asking Q^Q

Just read the new addition to the 666 verse, and inside of me are two wolves: The first is saying: Immaculate, artistry of the highest form. We finally get Alastor’s own confrontation with his vulnerability and him trying to figure out what exactly the relationship with Vox means to him. Cannot wait for how this all is going to develop. The other part of me: THE BREADCRUMBS WORKED THE MUSE IS WRITING!!! Followed by this image (since tumblr won’t let me attach it while being anonymous) https://i.redd.it/hx2shk642vs71.jpg -🕊️

LMAO THAT PIC. Amazing, flawless, thank you. The breadcrumbs DEFINITELY worked, please keep feeding. Digging into Alastor's shit is bringing me life and I'm happy to share it, hahaha. We're swinging even harder on the introspection in the next one!

As a sucker for medical gore and aroace angst, I lack the words to express my love and appreciation for your most recent installment of 666, but your writing of radiostatic's dynamic was captivating and proved to be such a lovely read as always! I loved that you touched on Alastor's relationships with the women around him as that has always been such an interesting aspect of his character to me! I never really put much thought into how Vox's apparent avoidance of Alastor in the show could mirror Alastor's disappearance, and now it will Not leave my mind. My heart hurts for these two dorks, super looking forward to chapter 2!

"Medical gore and aroace angst" should be the title of my memoir. Honestly, this series has ended up a lot more edgy-bloody than I expected it to, since I usually tend to prefer to portray my whump/angst/violence/etc in a much more roundabout way, but it's actually kinda tipped over into, like... part of the point is how banal it is, how beside the point. The upsetting heavy-hitting bits aren't the blood, they're everything else that goes on around it. Anyway, thank you so much! <3 I think your heart will find some relief in chapter two, haha, I hope you enjoy!!

Meanwhile alastor, completely convinced that there’s no situation where vox actually loves him and is happy with the way things are—either vox wants more and is going to start asking for more, or he doesn’t actually love him and just wants to have sex with him and thus either way he is a Liar. They’re so fucking bad at this. No one is capable of being the adult here. I think they need an auspitice.

It's really funny that you said that, because that is kind of exactly the role that [spoiler] ends up playing, though in a more roundabout way, hahaha. They certainly need someone to, like, get them to be having the same conversation with each other instead of two parallel ones. I think the fun thing about writing Alastor reacting to his own feelings is just how much his reaction can change based on how things are framed for him, and it leaves a lot of wiggle room for how differently I've ended up writing him reacting to the season 1 finale in 666 vs in Happily Ever After, and Other Shit Nepotism Can't Buy.

But, god, you really nailed the description of what Alastor is feeling. <3

Vox in the latest 666, my ENTIRE HEART. Literally nothing about how he read the situation was a bad take or a leap to conclusions, but alastor constantly says the opposite of what he means and refuses to admit vulnerability or friendship and what the hell else was vox meant to do with that, of course he backed off, they need to have this talk so badly

YES, PRECISELY! Like, I hope it came through that really neither of them was completely crazy to react the way they did! It's a result of how much of their communication has been nonverbal, implied, and talking around things - they'd been doing so well up until this point, but there's only so far that can take you before you start thinking that you're on the same page when really you're reading two completely different books! Thank you sm! <3

‘But I am capable,” Alastor says gently. “I love you very much.” Vox gapes up at him. “...I. Fuck you.” His voice is tight, strained. “I don’t fucking believe you.” Alastor feels his smile thin. “Well. That’s just dandy, then, isn’t it?”’ I AM NOT OK GOING FUCKING FERAL

Probably one of my favorite lines to write, ehehehe. THANK YOU ANONNNN <3 It's kinda interesting to see how differently some people read this. Some folks thought Alastor was saying it to hurt Vox (which is how Vox read it). Some folks thought it was true (how Alastor intended it). Some folks thought Alastor was trying to fit into the mold that he thought Vox wanted from him (how I intended it). All of them make sense as readings! >:)

[youre-ackermine]

You are tired,

(I think)

Of the always puzzle of living and doing;

And so am I.

Come with me, then,

And we’ll leave it far and far away —

(Only you and I, understand!)

You have played,

(I think)

And broke the toys you were fondest of,

And are a little tired now;

Tired of things that break, and —

Just tired.

So am I.

But I come with a dream in my eyes tonight,

And knock with a rose at the hopeless gate of your heart —

Open to me!

For I will show you the places Nobody knows,

And, if you like,

The perfect places of Sleep.

Ah, come with me!

I’ll blow you that wonderful bubble, the moon,

That floats forever and a day;

I’ll sing you the jacinth song

Of the probable stars;

I will attempt the unstartled steppes of dream,

Until I find the Only Flower,

Which shall keep (I think) your little heart

While the moon comes out of the sea.

“You Are Tired” - E. E. Cummings - "E. E. Cummings: Complete Poems 1904-1962"

[ageofbajabule]

Dawn of Love | Chapter 2

Josh Kiszka x F! Reader

Word Count: 7k

Warnings: Arguing, Fluff, Anxiety, Self doubt, Making out, Alcohol consumption, Partying, Talk of Virginity,(no 18+ in this chapter. be on the lookout for the next one), (also please let me aware if I miss any, I always try and double check as I do my final edits)

Series Masterpost

Read Chapter 1 if you haven’t!

Want to join my Taglist? Fill out this form or send an ask!🤍

AN: I just want to make a quick note! I would like to try and have a new part posted on Saturday’s. I can’t promise that it will be updated every Saturday, but just know that I put a lot of thought and work into this. Hence why it may take a little longer than normal. I also work 3rd shift so I try and write in my free time as much as I can. Thank you all for being so patient and understanding❤️

March 2014

It had been a month since the dance, and since Josh and you had officially become a couple. Throughout the month, Josh has been nothing but sweet. Leaving you little notes in your locker, doing the same in return. It was hard only having one class together, so you were only able to see each other during lunch and poetry.

You spent most weeknights together and spent every weekend together - whether you were at his place, or he came over to your house. You had been helping him more on his film as it finally completed and you both were getting ready to present it to everyone you cared deeply about.

“Sunshine! Can you hand me the hard drive please?” He turned towards you, as you grabbed the hard drive, placing it in his hand.

“This film came out really well Josh.” You smiled softly, kissing his cheek.

“Couldn’t have done it without your help mama.”A blush crept on his face as he chuckled softly.

“So my family is going to come over Friday night to watch the film with all of us.” You smiled nervously.

Your dad always thought the film dream you had was silly, but you truly had a passion for it like Josh had. And it often resulted in arguments with your father. You had applied to different colleges for a filming and photography degree. With Josh’s help of course, he had applied to most of the colleges you did too.

“Has your dad said anything…” He trailed off, unsure about how to go with the conversation.

“Well we didn’t argue if that’s what you’re trying to ask.”

He stood up wrapping his arms around you in a hug. “He’ll eventually see how important film is to you. You’re going to be amazing.” He smiled, kissing your lips softly.

You kissed him back, then pulled away slowly hugging him tightly before parting away.

“Come on, we should probably head out to the garage. Jake wants to get another practice in order to be ready for Saturday’s gig.” He rubbed your arm.

You nodded, following behind him out to the garage. You opted on sitting on the couch, sitting next to Valerie - the girl Jake had recently started going steady with.

“Hey!” You smiled softly at her,

“Hey Y/N! Are you excited for Saturday?” She shifted her attention towards you.

“Yeah, this will be the first gig I see them perform. It’ll be a very different atmosphere.” You rubbed your hands together.

You and Val had sat there watching the guys play a couple songs from their setlist they had made up. Josh always made you proud no matter what he did, but seeing him perform with his brothers was something else.

The week had gone by, and Friday was here already. Your poetry class felt longer than usual today, Josh and yourself sat in the back of the classroom. Mr.Zawalski had wanted to finish the film Beowulf, so you and Josh decided to just watch the film as you wrote notes back and forth to each other.

Is your family still planning on joining us tonight?

Yeah, but my dad has been in a mood the past few days. :(

It’s okay, he’ll open up eventually. I think this film will show him. :)

I’m just glad I have your support <3

Of course Sunny, always <3

Then Mr.Zawalski turned the lights on in the classroom, causing everyone to groan from the harsh lighting adjustment. You folded your note between you and Josh stashing it into your folder.

“Do you want a ride home?” He smiled at you,

“If it’s not an issue, I don’t want Jake getting his panties in a bunch like the other week.” You giggled remembering them bickering about practice.

“He can suck it. I just don’t want my baby to ride the bus.” He smiled, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, walking over to your locker to gather your things to head home.

“Josh…”

“What’s the matter Sunny?”

You melted at his nickname for you. It always drove you crazy, no matter what.

“I just. I’m really worried about my dad’s reaction. Especially because I think I’ve decided on where to go for college…” You walked out to his car with him, Jake hadn’t gotten to the car yet.

“I know how much his support means to you Y/N… And I want you to know that you will not disappoint him. Just show him how much this means to you.” He rubbed your shoulders.

“And you not only have your mom and sister’s support, but you have mine, the guys, my sister and even my parents.” He chuckled softly, caressing your cheek.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m making the wrong choices…” You put your head down in his hand.

He lifts your face up to meet his gaze. He pushes a piece of your hair behind your ear.

“Sunshine, you’re not making the wrong choices. You’re following your heart. And that is most important.”

He smiled, leaning forward and placing his lips against yours softly.

“Can we go?”

You two pulled away to see the voice coming from Jake, leaned up against the car chuckling softly as he watched the scene in front of him.

You blushed and nodded, getting into the passenger seat. While Jake sat in the back and Josh got in the driver's side.

Josh then dropped you off at home, after reassuring him you would be at his house later to watch the film you both worked on. Walking into the house, you could hear the television playing the news as your father sits in his normal spot on the couch, staring at the tv intently. Your mother on the other hand was finishing up the days work of cleaning the house, while your sister sat in the living room doing her homework while trying to ignore the sounds of the tv.

Walking into the mud room you set your things down, taking your shoes off and walking into the living room sitting down.

“Hi pumpkin.” Your dad smiled at you softly.

“Hi dad, how was your day?” You smiled bringing your knees up to your chest wrapping your arms around them.

“Oh it was good, how was your day?” He turned the volume of the TV down.

“It was good…” You smiled softly,

“What time must we be at the Kiszka’s tonight?”

“Josh wants to start the film at 7. It’s about an hour long…” You chewed the inside of your cheek nervously.

“An hour? Wow… I’m impressed.” Your father replied in a sarcastic tone.

“Yeah. It was going to only be a 30 minute film. But Josh had insisted on using an idea of mine to the film and extend it.” You placed your feet, getting ready to stand.

“Pumpkin… I just. I don’t know-“

“Honey! Someone is on the phone for you.” Your mom yelled for your dad, giving you the chance to leave the room.

You felt tears at the brim of your eyes. You had decided to take a shower, to make yourself feel somewhat better and get ready for tonight.

It was around quarter to 7 and your family was ready to head over to Josh’s. You had packed a small bag, considering you would be staying the night to help the guys tomorrow for their gig.

Your sister and yourself got in the back of you dad’s pick up, as your mom got into the passenger side. Your dad drove off to make the way to the Kiszka’s.

Upon arriving your dad had gotten out, helping your mom out of the truck while you and your sister followed behind them. Your father knocked on the door, and Kelly had answered it. “Hey! Welcome, come on in. Karen is finishing up making drinks and getting popcorn ready.” He motioned for everyone to file in.

You had immediately made way to Ronnie’s room setting your bag in there to make your parents aware you would in fact not be staying in Josh’s room tonight. Not that it would matter, since you would be sleeping in the basement anyways.

Walking out of Ronnie’s room you ran into Josh - making him fall back a couple of inches from the sudden impact.

“Oh, sunny. You scared me.” He chuckled, clenching his chest.

“I’m sorry Joshy…” You giggled, grabbing his hand rubbing circles.

“It’s okay mama.” He smiled, kissing your cheek.

“Josh… I don’t think he’s going to like it. He was ready to go on about how film isn’t a good career choice…” You sighed.

“Y/N. You are going to be amazing. Don’t let one person’s judgment dictate your dream.”

He caressed your cheek looking into your eyes - giving you one of his most reassuring smiles he could muster.

“If anything, only you can judge your choices. No one else.”

“Thank you… Thank you for being so understanding about everything.” You sighed feeling a little bit of relief, grabbing the hand that rested on your cheek, squeezing it gently.

“Now come on, we have a film to show.” He giggled dragging you downstairs to the living room with him.

You opted to sit on the loveseat with Josh, while your parents sat on the big couch with Karen and Kelly. Everyone else made themselves comfy on the floor or pulled a folding chair from the closet.

Josh had held your hand the entire time while the film played. Rubbing circles into your hand to keep you calm as he could tell you were tense from what your father would think of your work.

Once the film had finished everyone in the room was cheering and clapping on the film. You smiled, hugging Josh tightly.

“My god, you kids are going places!” Karen shot up from the couch hugging both you and Josh.

“Thank you mom.” Josh smiled at her,

“Thank you Mrs. Kiszka. It means a lot.” You smiled softly, looking over her shoulder to see your parents making their way.

“Sweetie, you are absolutely brilliant. Amazing work to both of you.” Your mom smiled, pulling you and Josh in for a hug.

“I’m proud of you pumpkin. You as well Josh.” He smiled, sticking his hand out to shake Josh’s hand.

The two of them shake each other’s hands smiling back at one another. Kelly had chimed in congratulating the two of you on your work. Then you had walked your family out to the truck to say goodnight before heading back into Josh’s.

“Thank you guys for coming and watching it. It really means a lot to me.” You smiled softly.

“Sweetie, you will always have our support. No matter what!” Your mom kissed your cheek, hugging you tightly.

“I still think you should reconsider your major…” You dad put out flatly, giving you a deadpan look to show that he wasn’t budging about this matter.

“Dad…” You groan,

“Y/N… I just. I want you to be realistic here. How many directors or filmmakers are successful right away?”

“Just say you don’t believe in me dad. It would hurt a lot less…” You felt the tears forming in your eyes.

“It’s not that I don’t be-“

“Really! Cause it sure seems like it… All my life I was trying to figure out who I truly am and what I want to do with my life. And the moment I do, it's not good enough for you! I’ve always done everything to make you happy dad, it’s my time to do what makes me happy…” You spit out at your father as you wiped the tears away that spilled out of your eyes.

“Y/N, we will continue this discussion at another time.” He said sternly.

“No, I’m tired of discussing this. I’ve made up my mind of what I’m doing with my life. Whether I have your support or not…” You turned on your heels,

“I’ll be home Sunday afternoon…” You then walked into Josh’s house shutting the door behind you.

Running to the guest bathroom, locking yourself in there quietly crying to yourself - until you heard a soft knock.

“Sunshine…”

“I’ll be out in a minute…” You sighed softly.

“I’ll get us some hot chocolate, okay?” He said through the door.

“Okay…”

You heard him shuffle away, as you turned to look at yourself in the mirror - wiping away the tears that were there. You resituated yourself making your way to the kitchen.

“You okay mama?” Josh was finishing up making the two of you hot chocolate.

You nodded, “I’ll be okay.” You smiled at him as he handed you a mug.

“You can talk about it whenever you want. Not now, but whenever you’re ready.” He smiled and kissed your forehead softly.

Morning came pretty quickly, and was filled with absolute chaos. The guys ran around making sure they had everything they needed for tonight's gig. Going over setlists, and making sure everyone’s gear was in tip top shape.

“Jake everything is loaded up. It’s going to be fine!” Josh pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You don’t tell me that everything is going to be fine. This is the first real gig we have! This is the start. This is my dream!” He yelled at him.

“Really Jacob? It’s not just your dream.” He threw his hands up,

“I didn’t mean it like that…” He sighed,

“I understand how important this is to you Jake. I really do. But you need to loosen up, being all tense and worried doesn’t make things better for yourself.” He patted his shoulder.

“You’re right, I’m sorry… It’s just. I don’t want this to affect how we go about this road…” He rubbed his face.

“If it makes you feel any better, Val will be there!” You chimed in, smiling softly.

Jake chuckled, nodding his head. “Yeah, that does…”

You smiled softly, dragging Josh with you. “Listen, I know you guys are going to be amazing tonight. And you’re going to kill it!”

Josh smiled as a blush crept up on his face. “Thank you, sunny…”

“Anytime Joshy…” You giggled, kissing his lips softly.

Jake suggested he drive over to Fischer Hall, while Val sat in the front and you and Josh sat in the back. Sam and Danny had rode over with Kelly and Karen, with Danny’s parents to follow them.

You all arrived about an hour before they would start so they had time to set up, and get everything in tune before the show started for them.

After everyone was settled, people had started to come into the small venue. You offered smiles to the guys.

“You guys are going to be great.” You hugged them all, then once you made it to Josh a blush crept onto your cheeks.

“You guys act like you never kiss in front of us…” Sam started laughing with Danny.

“Shut it Sammy.” Josh snipped at him, then turned towards you smiling, kissing your lips softly. You kissed him back then pulled away.

“Break a leg handsome.” You giggled softly.

Josh chuckled and went with the guys onto the stage. They lit the room up with their presence making everyone cheer them on.

You sat by the parents with Val - cheering the guys on with them.

After they performed a couple songs they finished their small set. Getting a great response afterwards makes your smile widen. You saw Josh coming over to you all flustered.

“That was amazing!” You giggled.

“It was exhilarating.” He chuckled, “Let me help the guys clean up and we can get out of here.” He smiled and ran off to help the guys.

April 2014

The twins' birthday was coming up on Wednesday. But Karen wanted to throw them a party this weekend, since they were turning 18. She had stressed how important it was that her babies have a great party, and one to remember. You have been helping out in any way.

It was hard to keep it a secret from Josh, you hated to keep secrets. But this one was just for a surprise party - so one secret wouldn’t hurt.

It was Tuesday the day before the twins' 18th birthday. Josh has been completely asking you all the questions about what you had planned. And of course you had to tell him he would have to wait and see.

“But sunny…” He groaned, walking to your locker with you.

“No ‘buts’ Josh. I’m not saying another word about your birthday.”

You opened your locker, seeing a bouquet of flowers and a note - blushing, you picked up the note reading….

To my sunshine, will you go to prom with me?

You turned to Josh, “Yes.”

He smiled, pulling you in for a hug kissing your lips.

“I know it's a month away… And I should’ve asked sooner.”

You stopped him, “Josh, it’s okay. I’ve had my dress since the beginning of the month.” You giggled softly.

“Oh, okay… I guess that's some relief.” He laughed nervously.

“And I think my mom may have already sent your mom what I was wearing. So I think they already had an idea that we would be going together.” You shook your head at their antics.

“I’m glad they’re ahead of it.” He kissed your cheek.

“I’ll see you later mama.” He winked and made his way to his morning class.

It was finally Josh and Jake’s birthday, you all decided on skipping school and going on a hike. Classes lately haven't been filled with many lessons considering you graduate in the beginning of June. And missing a day wouldn’t hurt, you just wouldn’t let your parents find out.

You all made it look like you were heading to school, but changed route and went towards where the boys family lake house was. Once arriving you had gotten out of the car, looking at the house.

“She is something…” Josh came up beside you chuckling.

“I’ve never seen anything like it.”.

“We like to come up and get away… Helps us get creative, or just to clear our minds. But we spend most of our summer days here.” He rubbed your arm.

“Well, I’m sure it’s lovely. But I’d really like to get on this trail that Jake and you were talking about.” You kissed his cheek softly.

He shook his head and walked over to Jake grabbing his gear. You did the same, tightening your laces to your shoes, and putting your bag on your back.

“So how long is this trail exactly Jake?” You stood up, soaking in the fresh air.

“About 2 miles, so a 4 mile hike today.” He smirked at you.

“But the view is nice when we get to the end of the trail. See’s over the lake and everything.” Josh chimed in.

“You might just have to carry me on the way back down.” You giggled grabbing the small lunch bag.

They both started walking on the trail, following in between them. Jake played music from his bluetooth speaker. The trail was pretty flat for most of the first half, then the other half the trail got a bit uneven and mainly stones created a path.

You felt absolutely winded, it wasn’t exactly hot out. But the temperature today was enough to make you sweat from the hike. You were a little behind Jake and Josh, it's not like you grew up in an environment to partake in hiking trips. But you wanted to spend time with both of them.

“Y/N, you alright back there?” Jake turned around, smiling softly.

“I’m okay, this is just new for me. I’m not like you monkeys…” You giggled softly.

“We’re almost there, sunny.” Josh came down beside you, rubbing your back.

“Just drink some water.” He pulled out a water bottle and opened it for you.

“Thank you…” You smiled softly, taking a couple sips from the bottle, closing it up and following them the rest of the way.

Once you made it to the end of the trail, there was an overpass that looked over the lake. It was beautiful, Josh wasn’t lying.

You set your bag down pulling out the big blanket to set on the ground, and pulled out the sandwiches you made for them. Handing them out, they smiled and said their thanks munching away. You sat down eating away at yours.

After finishing your sandwiches you had pulled out a small cake that you somehow managed to fit in the cooler. You pulled it out putting some candles lighting them, walking over to the twins.

“Happy Birthday to you!” You giggled softly.

They both sat up smiling, then blew the candles out.

“Thank you, Y/N!” Jake smiled,

“Thank you, sunny.” Josh blushed smiling softly, he kissed your cheek.

“Of course! I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.” You sighed softly, setting the cake on top of the cooler, cutting slices up for them.

Jake then pulled out a joint that was pre-rolled. “Shall we?”

Josh nodded timidly, “That depends….did you actually get some good shit for once?”

“The shit that knocks you on your ass? Yes, yes I did.” Jake chuckled, lighting it up. He took a couple puffs before passing it along to Josh.

Josh took a couple hits, then passed it to you. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He smiled softly.

“I do, I just… Never have…” You looked down ashamed of yourself.

“Hey, it’s alright. All you do is place it between your lips, inhale a little then exhale.” He handed you the joint.

You nodded your head, doing as he said. You exhaled, and coughed a good bit as Jake grabbed the joint from you.

“She’s a champ!” He chuckled softly, patting your shoulder.

“Woohoo sunny!” Josh smiled, kissing your cheek.

Saturday came, and you had opted to take Josh out for brunch to get him out of the house for his mom to set up for the party. Jake was already out with Val for the morning and early afternoon, making it easier for her to decorate the house.

“So what does Sunshine have planned for me today?” Josh chuckled as he buckled himself in the car.

“Brunch, maybe a little walk around downtown? And then cake at your place.” You smiled at him as you buckled yourself, putting the car in gear to drive.

Josh took over the aux in the car, immediately playing his playlist. He started off by playing John Denver’s Sunshine On My Shoulder. You gave him a look, shaking your head slowly.

“Oh come on sunny!” He grabbed your hand and kissed it softly.

“It’s a song I can dedicate to you now, until I write a good one about you…”

“You’ll write me a song…” You blushed,

“I’d write you a million…” He smiled softly, then began belting out to the song.

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy

Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry

Sunshine on the water looks so lovely

Sunshine almost always makes me high

If I had a day that I could give you

I’d give you a day just like today

If I had a song that I could sing for you

I’d sing a song to make you feel this way

The drive to downtown was nice and filled with laughter and singing. Josh’s voice always blew you away, he was just a beautiful person to be with.

You stopped by a local diner, heading in to sit at a booth. The two of you had ordered your favorites, and ate in bliss. Enjoying each other’s time with one another, after brunch. You two decided to walk around downtown. It was only 2pm and you have another hour and a half to kill before making your way back to the Kiszka’s.

While walking downtown Josh pointed out a record shop, pleading you to go in with him.

“Okay! But we can’t spend the whole day here.” You giggled as he was practically dragging you in.

He chuckled, walking into the store with you. It was a pretty big store with a wide collection to choose from.

You went to the disco section, immediately searching for a copy of ABBA’s self title. It was the only edition you needed to complete your collection. You had all their other pressings available, but every time you went searching you had no luck finding it.

And to your avail, there is no self title available. You sighed, looking over the rest of the selection of great disco vinyls.

“What’s wrong, sunny?” Josh came up behind you rubbing your arm.

“Still no luck in finding the self title of ABBA…” You groaned looking up at him.

“We’ll find it one day.” He chuckled softly, kissing the top of your head.

You nodded and made way to find a couple records for him, you had already had his gift wrapped up and in your car. But another gift of two wouldn’t be an issue, you thought to yourself as you grabbed two of what would definitely be Josh’s favorites.

You had checked out with a pressing of An Evening with John Denver and a pressing of Port of Morrow by The Shins. Josh had a very interesting music taste, and you loved that about him. He was always showing you different indie artists, as you showed him your favorite rock artists.

After having a successful shopping spree in the record shop, it was finally time to head back to the Kiszka’s.

“Come on Josh!” You smiled, watching him check out.

“So what did ya get?” Josh whispered in your ear, coming up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. Holding you flush against his chest.

“You’ll see later.” You smiled softly, getting into the car and heading back to his place.

When the two of you had arrived, Jake and Val had pulled up too. Perfect timing you thought to yourself. You gathered the small gifts you had for both Josh and Jake. Heading to the door with them.

You let the twins enter the house first, hearing everyone yell ‘Surprise!’ and ‘Happy Birthday!’ The twins chuckled, smiling softly at everyone present.

“Thank you everyone!” They said in unison.

You came in behind them with Val. “Did you know about this?” Josh asked you, smirking.

“I may have helped your mom…” You giggled softly.

For the next hour or two, everyone was socializing and eating. Karen knew how to make a feast for any special occasions. You truly enjoyed her cooking, in fact you found it better than your mothers.

You handed Jake his gift, allowing him to open it. He unwrapped it, revealing a Jimi Hendrix ‘Are You Experienced’ vinyl.

“Holy shit! Are you serious Y/N! Thank you!” He smiled and gave you a hug.

“It’s nothing, really.” You smiled softly, hugging him back.

“It’s not nothing! This is very thoughtful, thank you.” He then went back to sit next to Val opening her gift.

Josh then pulled you into the basement, away from everyone. You smiled, handing him his gifts sitting on the couch next to him.

“Happy Birthday, Joshy…” You blushed watching him go through the shopping bag from today’s finds.

“Sunshine! These are great!” He smiled, then went to grab the one that was wrapped.

“This one was a little bit harder to find… I’m not going to lie, but you kept talking about it. And I just had to deep dive…” You chewed your lip nervously.

His eyes lit up, as he tore the wrapping paper off. Revealing an original pressing of John Denver’s self title. Josh hadn’t been able to find a copy at all, and it was driving him nearly insane.

“Y/N… This…” He smiled looking at you, placing it on the table in front of the two of you.

He cupped your face in his hands kissing your lips softly.

“I love you…”

He said it. He said it first… You had been worried to have said it too soon, or too late. But, right now was the perfect time for it to have happened. You felt your stomach flutter from his words.

“I love you too…” You giggled, kissing his lips softly again.

May 2014

Prom was here. And to say you were stressed, was an understatement. You had recently completed your admission to Michigan State University after discussing with Josh your plans for the future. He was beyond excited for you and had also enrolled into Michigan State.

The two of you would be pursuing the same degree, therefore you would have pretty much the same courses. You were happy that you wouldn’t be completely alone at college, and that you would have someone you know there.

All morning you had been waiting to get your hair done, then your makeup to follow suit after your hair was done. Your mother was making sure everything for your senior prom was going smoothly. Even though you had reassured her multiple times that you were okay and everything was fine.

Hoping she isn’t like this for your wedding one day…

After leaving the salon, you headed back home to finish getting ready. All that was left was the dress. It was absolutely stunning - opting for a print color, you had decided on a sky blue gown.

It was strapless and flowed beautifully, though it wasn’t a ball gown, but it stood out from most dresses that were available for this prom season.

You slipped it on, then put your heels on. Looking at yourself in the mirror, putting on your necklace and earrings. Giving yourself a final touch up on your lipstick, then making your way down stairs.

Your mother was at the bottom of the steps, waiting for you to take you to the golf course where Josh and his family would meet you to take pictures together. You had wished Josh could’ve picked you up beforehand, but didn’t want to cause an argument.

As you were heading out the door, your father followed behind helping you into the car making sure your dress didn’t get caught in the door. You smiled buckling yourself, as your parents drove to the course.

Once you had arrived, you got out meeting Josh and his family. Along with Jake and Val’s family, it was a beautiful sunny day for prom. Most cases it had rained on prom for others in the past, but today it didn’t.

“You look extravagant sunshine!” Josh smiled, holding your hands in his kissing your cheek softly.

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” You giggled softly, then Karen came over handing Josh and you, the corsage and boutonniere set. It was white rose assortment again, like it was for the Valentine’s dance. You giggled softly remembering that night.

“What is it, sunny?” Josh smiled as he slipped the corsage on your wrist.

“Just remembering our first dance together…” You blushed, as you helped pin his boutonniere to his tux. He smiled, and kissed your cheek softly.

“Alright kiddos! Come on, time to get some pictures of you all.” Karen smiled, getting her digital camera out, your mother did the same.

The two of them kept taking pictures, in front of the ponds, the trees, the garden. You name it. You were already exhausted and the fun of the evening hadn’t even started.

“Mom, I think that's enough pictures…” Jake groaned, fidgeting with his tie.

“Oh alright! I just can’t believe my babies will be graduating in two weeks!” Karen cried out teary eyed, as the twins pulled her into a hug.

Prom was what you expected it to be. Another dance in which everyone dressed to impress. The only thing that made it sentimental was that it was the last dance for your class. Sure you only had a handful of friends, but you were all going to different schools and some were even moving out of state to pursue their dreams.

Jake had gotten invited to an after party, inviting you and Josh to join him. In which the two of you couldn’t turn down. But before heading over to the after party you had stopped home to change into a more party-like fit, and an overnight bag to stay the night at Josh’s.

Your parents had been more lenient about you staying over at Josh’s considering they trusted him and yourself. But they also knew that they couldn't necessarily control your life as much, as you were turning 18 right after graduation.

Pulling up to the party, Josh and you had driven over with Jake. Val couldn’t join as she had cheer practice in the morning for her upcoming competition. The house was a lakehouse that wasn’t too far from the Kiszka's lakehouse. It was about the same size, maybe a tad bit bigger.

But after all it was Gabe Sanders throwing the party - his parents were loaded with money. The house was filled with probably the entire senior class, and anyone who attended the prom. The music was loud, there was alcohol everywhere. Definitely a different vibe then what you were used to.

“It’s gonna be alright Y/N, it's our senior year after all! And besides I’m sure we’ll go to some college parties.” Josh chuckled softly, rubbing your waist to comfort you.

“I don’t know, I guess it’s just because I’ve never really attended parties like this before.” You quipped walking into the house.

The scene in front of your eyes was like straight out of a movie. People were crowded everywhere, red solo cups in everyone’s hands. Couples lounged together not caring that people saw them hooking up. You made your way to the kitchen with Josh, as he got you a cup of Tequila Soda.

Josh had been around alcohol more frequently than you, so he already had an easy drink to go for. You smiled softly as he handed you a cup, taking a sip you felt the alcohol run down your throat feeling the burning sensation.

“It’s good isn’t it!” Josh smiled softly,

“I’ll manage.” You giggled softly, as he threw his arm around your shoulder.

The rest of the night Josh and you had a couple drinks, definitely now under the influence. He decided to take you to a bedroom upstairs.

Josh and you hadn’t even gotten past 2nd base yet - it’s not that you weren’t ready to take the next step, you just were scared of what he wanted as well. It’s a topic the two of you haven’t generally come across yet. But in the end you knew that when the time was right, it would happen.

The two of you giggled as you made way to the bedroom, kissing and whispering sweet nothings to each other. The two of you sat on the edge of the bed unsure of what to do next. Nervous as all ever, Josh rubbed your shoulder reassuringly.

You smiled and pressed your lips against his, deepening the kiss with him. His hands rubbed your waist, while your hands were tangled in his hair.

Then you heard a floorboard creek,

“Oh my god!” You knew that cracky voice from anywhere.

“What the hell Sam! How did you even get into this party?!” Josh turned away from you, shifting his attention towards his little brother.

“Because the older ladies love me Joshua…” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Josh then picked up a pillow chucking it at Sam.

“Get out Samuel!” His face was beet red.

Sam zipped out of the bedroom, shutting the door on his way out. Josh sighed softly, turning back towards you.

“I’m sorry about that, I should’ve locked the door.” He chuckled nervously.

“It’s okay Josh, really… Besides, I think it's best that our first time isn’t under the influence…” You trailed off, caressing his cheek with your thumb.

He nodded, “You’re absolutely right, sunny… I want our first time to be more meaningful and at a proper setting.” He kissed your cheek softly.

“Come on, we should probably leave soon. Especially before Sam gets into any trouble…”

Josh stood up, putting his hand out for yours. Taking his you intertwine your hands walking downstairs to regroup with Jake and Sam heading back to their place.

June 2014

The last two weeks of school had dragged, it felt longer than usual. But alas, graduation was here. The morning felt absolutely hectic and long, as your mother was frantic on planning your graduation party. Why did she have to have it the same night as graduation, beat you. But you didn’t want to upset her and not have a graduation party.

The assigned seating was based on height, those graduating that were in choir were separate from the rest of the graduating class. Therefore Josh was in the choir section, leaving you and Jake to sit by yourselves. You and Jake were a couple rows away from one another. Then you were next to your good friend Mallory.

The ceremony was a complete bore, talking about how to make sure all the choices you make in life are never taken for granted. And to always remember where you’re from…

Before you knew it, everyone was placing their tassels onto the other side of their caps.

“Congratulations to the 2014 Class of Frankenmuth High!”

The principal smiled, clapping his hands. All of the students threw their caps in the air, catching them afterwards. You found Jake and Josh immediately after the ceremony hugging them tightly.

“Oh sweetie!” Your mom was in tears, flailing her arms to wrap you into a hug. You smiled softly at her, hugging her tightly. Soon after your father engulfed you into a hug.

“Congratulations pumpkin! You’re a high school grad!” He kissed the top of your head.

“Thank you guys…” You smiled softly, going to hug your sister Olivia.

“Congrats sis.” She smiled softly,

“You’re up next…” You giggled, squeezing her more into the hug.

Josh made way back to you after finding his family, he pulled you into a tight hug, kissing your lips softly. You blushed, kissing him back softly in front of everyone, pulling away.

“My mom wanted to get some pictures of all of us.” He chuckled softly.

“What a great idea!” You mother chimed in, standing next to Karen to get pictures of you two and then Jake to join as well.

“Come on now! Smile!” Karen had motioned for you and Josh to pose.

He pulled you by the waist, keeping his hand rested on your hip drawing circles with his thumb. You smiled, placing a hand on his chest taking what seemed like a hundred pictures.

“Alright, one more couple picture then a group picture! Don’t be shy now.” You mother giggled, then Josh and you giggled kissing each other softly for one last photo.

Jake had then joined in, making you stand in the middle like a twin sandwich. You ruffled his hair a bit, fixing his cap and then posed for a couple more pictures that suited both the parents' liking.

“Okay! Can we please go, don’t want to be late to my own graduation party….” You giggled softly.

Your mother gasped, “Oh my god! I almost forgot... Let’s hurry home and get you ready!”

The graduation party your mother had planned for you went well. Part of your graduating class showed up to join the fun, which included games of cornhole, horseshoe, and some good ole campfire songs.

As the night drew nearer, everyone had left the party leaving you to help clean up with your mother. Josh had also stayed behind to help clean up, where Jake had gone to take Valerie home.

“Thanks for helping…” You smiled, tying up the trash bags.

“Of course sunshine, I’d help anytime.” He flashed a smile at you.

The smile you loved most, when his eyes crinkled and his dimple was visible. You’ve started to notice more little things about him, the things you had grown to love even more about him.

The way he laughed, the way he talked, the way he looked while peacefully sleeping after a long night of band practice. The way his hair rested, just above his shoulders… The way his honey golden brown eyes stole your breath away. He always knew how to make you smile, and how to make you laugh. He wasn’t just any ordinary guy. He was Josh. Josh had become a safe space for you…

And he had no clue how much you loved him… How much you care for him, and how much he meant to you. Josh was like a missing puzzle piece that fit your puzzle to life that you were trying to figure out. And there he was all along.

After taking the trash out to the trash cans, Josh had asked you to go on a drive with him. And which of course you agreed to go.

“Where exactly are we going?” You giggled softly, as he sped off to wherever he had planned.

“Just trust me!” He smiled softly, rubbing your hand with his thumb reassuringly.

A 20 minute drive later, you had pulled up to what seemed to be an abandoned cabin. You got out of the car, waiting for him to join your side.

“You’re not planning on killing me, are you?” You looked at him.

“Now what kind of gentleman would I be to bring you all the way out here to do such a thing.” He chuckled softly, earning a giggle from you.

“So… What’s special about here?” You looked at him questioningly.

“This is where I come to get away and have time for myself… I’ve always been drawn to this location. Whether it's the energy that resides here or whatever higher being is calling to me… I don’t know…” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“Josh…” You placed a hand on his cheek, rubbing it softly. “There is no need to get nervous or shy around me…” You kissed him softly.

He pulled you in closer, kissing your lips back softly.

“I just… I love you, and figured I’d show you a spot that could be ours… and perhaps, one day we can buy this land and make this a cute winter holiday home.” He chuckled nervously.

“Mr. Kiszka wants to get a holiday home with me?” You blushed, poking his chest softly.

“Perhaps one day… When the time is right of course.” He smiled, grasping your hands softly intertwining them. “One day, I’ll make you mine forever…”

“You’re sunshine forever…” You smiled softly, leaning in to kiss him once more.

The start of your summer break had just begun. And there was so much left to experience before starting college. You were nervous to say the least about starting this new chapter in your life. But having Josh by your side helped ease the anxiety. Or would it…

.

.

.

Taglist-

@lyndszee @laneygvf @sacredthefran @starcatcherry @fkfearandliveyourlegend @hi-hi-hello11 @gretnavannfleet @themoreyou-love @gvfmuse @meetingthestardust @myleftsock @jordie-gvf-admin @radmads-gvf @twistedmelodies @thunderstomp-and-tequila @sinsofstardust @jakesdogss12 @vanillabear27 @dharma-divine33 @holybananafuck @thecoldwind

[yourtwistedlies]

❝ women’s hearts are lethal weapons ❞

val ! ✩ she/her ✩ minor ✩ jason grace’s gf (REAL) ✩ speak now obsessed ✩ gracie abrams lovebot ✩ summer baby ✩ certified procrastinator ✩ professional listener ✩ pathological people pleaser ✩ general amaya’s #1 fan ✩ fitz vacker defender ✩ honorary grammar police ✩ kpop stan (mostly ggs) ✩ my moots’ cheerleader ✩ under the illusion i can write ✩ somewhat smart ✩ cabin 13 girl ✩

dni: if you are racist, homophobic, xenophobic, support genocide and mass murder, sexist, 18+ only, religiophobic, creepy, toxic, or literally just a jerk, please leave!

byi: i swear sometimes!! i also adore using cute nicknames and pet names for my moots!! if you don’t feel comfortable w/ that or anything else, please let me know <33

moots - wattpad - ao3 - carrd - follower event (coming soon ⁉️) - 🇵🇸 | 🇺🇦 save the children!

•̩̩͙⁺ the basics ₊˚. ↴ ·˚༘

call me valerie/val or twisted!!

she/her, straight (heterosexual), minor (18+ only acc’s please do not follow), 18+ do not interact unless i interact first or we are moots (on my list or to be added- i am the judge of who is to be added), cancer (zodiac, but i don’t believe in them), Christian (i post about it sometimes), << summer baby, entp (mbti), 4w3 (enneagram), ambivert, slytherin, cabin 13, shade (guys i swear i wasn’t trying to be edgy or smth with the past two and this 😭😭 i took the official quizzes i promise lmao), swiftie, kpop fan, staying up writing until 4am gives me life, purple is the best color (this is not up to debate, only yellow even comes close), proud notes app writer, CATS > DOGS (occasionally my verdict changes), bunny lover, chronic platonic sofitzer, i’m either hyperactive or extremely tired (there is no in between), people say im smart, but sometimes i feel like the biggest idiot ever lmao, and ofc dex dizznee’s much needed publicist (my favorite role of mine ever)!!!

•̩̩͙⁺ music ₊˚. ↴ ·˚༘

taylor swift, olivia rodrigo, sza, conan gray, alicia keys, emei, gracie abrams, maisie peters, sabrina carpenter, laufey, queen riri (rihanna), adele, tiffany day, le sserafim, ive, newjeans, itzy, nmixx, stay-c, aespa, everglow, txt (baby fan), illit ＆ more kpop, lizzy mcalpine, pheobe bridgers, nessa barrett, pinkpantheress, claire rosinkranz, lyn lapid, alessia cara, reneé rapp, mckenna grace, and more!!

as i hope you can tell, i like a lot of music :)

•̩̩͙⁺ books ₊˚. ↴ ·˚༘

pjo, hoo, (never read toa, but yes, ik what happens in tbm), the rrverse, kotlc, city spies, ss (spy school), alex rider (not done with rr), the academy for the unbreakable arts,

and my many other fandoms i’ve forgotten about (dead magisterium fandom oop-)

i’ll add more fandoms as i remember them lol

•̩̩͙⁺ ships ₊˚. ↴ ·˚༘

rayllum, clauderry (stfu they’re adorable), percabeth (otp energy), sokeefe, dexiana, tiana (yes i know im the most indecisive bitch ever shut up you toad /jjjj i actually love u platonically), jason grace x ME (/j but i do love him lol), and more!!

•̩̩͙⁺ blogs ₊˚. ↴ ·˚༘

side blog: @yourtangledpromises

taylor blog: @iknowplxces

writing blog: @thejournalofvalerie (coming soon) (also, i won’t write anything 18+!! except curse words occasionally)

poetry blog: @yourwhisperedsecrets (coming soon)

moodboards/aesthetics blog: @yoursweetconfessions (coming soon)

and perhaps more?? (muahahaha)

•̩̩͙⁺ side note ₊˚. ↴ ·˚༘

if you’d like to be added to my moots list, or talk, please tell me (by wonder girls)!!

if we’re moots we’re actually bffs now (you just don’t notice it yet)

if i don’t respond to your ask/tag/rb/literally anything immediately i am not ignoring you!! i’m just lazy or busy and will do it later <33

im your biggest fan btw

1 Corinthians 16:14

with love,

valerie

[corviids]

I love how you draw Smiles. I think my heart skipped a beat seeing Luke’s little “:3” while holding Val. You’re a blessing Birdie 😭💖 I would write poetry about your work (I am educated in poetry and little do my class projects know, my pieces are based off Lucemond)

aw thank you anon !!! <333

luke is just so :3 coded and aemond is >.3 so it’s only natural that their son is :3c

[satanfemme]

[ID in alt]

Cathedral of Our Forbearer; a Hymn to G-d, V. V. also available on neocities here: asmoday.neocities.org/Poems.html !

[namesforwriters]

Music Inspired Names (masc)

Adagio ~ Italian, meaning "slowly."

Derived from the musical term "adagio" indicating the tempo, or speed, at which a piece should be played. Adagio indicates the tempo should be slow and with great expression. pronunciation: ah-dah-jee-oh

Allegro ~ Italian, meaning "cheerful," "lively," "playful."

Derived from the musical term "allegro" indicating the tempo, or speed, at which a piece should be played. Allegro usually indicates a lively and fast tempo. pronunciation: ah-leg-grah

Alto ~ Italian, meaning "high."

Alto is a term used to describe a pitch range in music. "Alto" is usually the lowest range of a female vocal range, and second-highest in general, but some instruments are tuned in the alto range as well, including the viola and alto trombone. pronunciation: ahl-toe, al-toe

Amadeus ~ Latin, "loved by God," "love of God."

The most recognizable person with this name is the famous composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, a musical genius and prolific composer in his life time. Born in Salzburg, Mozart is considered one of the greatest composers in Western classical music. pronunciation: ah-mah-day-oos

Antonio ~ Italian, meaning "flower," "priceless."

Antonio was the given name of famous Italian composer Antonio Vivaldi. Vivaldi's most famous composition is titled "The Four Seasons," a series of violin concertos inspired by the seasons of the year. pronunciation: an-toh-nee-oh

Apollo ~ Greek, meaning "to destroy," "redemption."

Apollo is a major deity in Greek and Roman mythology. On top of being the god of light, prophecy, and archery, he is also the god of music and the leader of the nine Muses. pronunciation: ah-pahl-low

Bardo ~ Irish, meaning "minstrel," "singer-poet."

Related to the term "bard," this is a very musical name. Bards and minstrels were musically talented storytellers and poets in medieval Gaelic and British culture. Shakespeare is known as "The Bard of Avon." pronunciation: bar-doe

Bragi ~ Norse, meaning "poem," "melody," "wise."

In Norse mythology, Bragi is the god of poetry renowned for his wisdom and fluency of speech. Bragi is especially associated with skaldic poetry, which often honored kings, and was more stylistically ornate than Eddic poetry. pronunciation: brah-gee

Brio ~ Italian, meaning "vivacious."

Brio is a term usually shortened from "con brio," which is a musical direction term. It indicates that something should be played with vigor, with spirit, with vivaciousness. pronunciation: bree-oh

Canto ~ Latin, Italian, meaning "song," "singing."

Derived from both the Latin and Italian words for songs and singing, canto was a form of medieval and modern long poetry. The canto form usually meant the poetry was meant to be sung by a minstrel to accompaniment rather than dictated. pronunciation: cahn-toe

Carmine ~ Latin, meaning "song."

Originally a Latin name related to the word for "song," Carmine is also the name of a famous contemporary film composer, Carmine Coppola, who composed the score for the Godfather films. pronunciation: car-mine

Chevalier ~ French, meaning "horseman," "rider."

A title of French noble distinction, Joseph Bologne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges was the first composer of African heritage to achieve acclaim and fame in Western classical music. He was also an accomplished dancer and fencer. pronunciation: sheh-val-ee-ay, sheh-val-ee-er

Claude ~ French, meaning "enclosure."

Claude is the given name of the famous composer Claude Debussy. Despite his modest background, Debussy was admitted to the Conservatoire de Paris. He pushed the boundaries of classical music at the time, and his most famous composition is the piano piece "Clair du Lune." pronunciation: claw-d

Dorian ~ Greek, meaning "gift," "of Doris."

Dorian is a term a few things in the world of music. Usually, "dorian" is a term used to describe a type of scale (a series of eight octave notes played one by one in a minor chord) pronunciation: door-ee-en

Herod ~ Greek, meaning "song of the hero."

This name originates from Ancient Greece and literally means "song of the hero." For that reason, it makes "Herod" a very musical name indeed. pronunciation: hair-odd

Linus ~ Greek, meaning "flax," "flax-colored."

In Greek mythology, Linus is the son of Apollo and the first leader of lyric song. In some myths, his musical talent rivaled that of his father, so Apollo killed him. In others, Linus is the music teacher of both Orpheus and Heracles. pronunciation: lie-nus

Locrian ~ Greek, meaning "of Locris."

Locrian, like "dorian," is a term used in music theory for a type of musical scale (a series of eight notes played in an octave one by one. A locrian scale is more complicated than a dorian scale. pronunciation: low-cree-en

Maestro ~ Italian, meaning "master," "teacher."

Similar to the musical direction term "maestroso" meaning to play a piece with majesty, "Maestro" is also an honorific given to a conductor or director. pronunciation: mai-stroh

Mesto ~ Italian, meaning "sad," "pensive."

A music direction term, seeing the term "mesto" indicates that the piece should be played with a sad, mournful quality or tone. pronunciation: mess-toe

Octavian ~ Latin, meaning "the eighth."

Octavia is a name taken from the Latin octave, meaning "eight." In music, an octave is a range of typically eight notes. The first and eighth note are always the same, with one higher than the other in pitch. pronunciation: oct-ehve

Opus ~ Latin, meaning "work," "work of art."

In Western classical music, composers would often number their compositions and works. For example, the first movement of Beethoven's 5th Symphony is titled "Symphony No. 5 In C Minor, Op. 67 "Fate." This means this is Beethoven's 67th composition. pronunciation: oh-pus

Orpheus ~ Greek, meaning "orphan," "best voice."

Orpheus was a Greek hero who helped Jason on his quest for the Golden Fleece. Following the quest, Orpheus journeyed to the Underworld to recover his love wife, Eurydice. Orpheus was an amazing musician. pronunciation: or-phee-us

Reed ~ Old English, meaning "red."

In music, a reed is a mouthpiece with which certain instruments are played, including clarinets, oboes, bassoons, and saxophones. Reeds are usually made of grass cane or wood and come in different strengths. pronunciation: reed

Vesper ~ Latin, meaning "evening."

In Western classical music, a "vesper" or "vespers" is an evening song or composition. A vesper is traditionally an evening prayer. The most famous "vespers" composition is "All-Night Vigil," a choral work by Sergei Rachmaninoff. pronunciation: ves-per

Vox ~ Latin, meaning "voice."

Coming from the Latin word for "voice," this is very much a musical name, one for singers and orators in particular. pronunciation: vox

These name lists are intended to help writers and artists. There is no expectation of credit, and these lists aren't meant to be the end-all be-all lists of possible names. There are millions out there, and this is just for fun!

If you have a suggestion for a name list, or want to see something specific, feel free to submit a request!

And if you see something that is wrong (a pronunciation, a meaning, an origin), again, feel free to let me know!