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warriorsparked · 2 years

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Family life

Warning: contains sensitive themes (child abuse, biological, violence, sexual abuse)

This will have two options to read as because when I began writing Megatron, it was LONG before we had any canon ways for TF’s to grow or be made/born or whatever else you’d like to call it. We didn’t have ‘forged cold’ and whatever back in my times lol, so we made do with whatever outdated terms no one uses anymore XD Because of this, my Megatron does/did have parents, but because I understand some people are very uncomfortable with the idea of sparklings being bred, I am happy to incorporate IDW2′s mentorship (which I happen to LOVE btw) into my RP verses so you needn’t worry about all that biological stuff.

Whilst in my personal AU, through millions of years of technological advances, experiments and overall evolution of their people, they have been able to procreate via spark bonding, birth is not something they have been able to perfect. Simply put, their bodies are not made for it, which is why they still use protoforms. If anyone is interested, I can go over that headcanon, but for now, I’ll skip it. So while the wording of this will be ‘parents’, you can feel free to read it in a mentorship vs actual biological relations if it makes you more comfy :)

Some of this may be a little vague as I don’t want it to be an entire recap of my series, because I understand if people would like to keep that and my RP here separately, so excuse me if parts of it do sound vague.

Megatron’s parents were, unfortunately... very toxic and the relationship they had was extremely abusive. Megatron didn’t have much of a chance from the start. He grew up in a household that was violent and angry. His father (Puncture) was a drunkard who often took his anger out on him, and his mother (Angra) had a whole lot of other issues. I won’t go into the personal details considering they are more fic related and I likely won’t continue that aspect in my RP verses, but know that she did things to Megatron that no mother should and used her religious beliefs as a means to pretend it was purifying him. This also made Megatron’s relationship with Primus incredibly complicated and ugly, because his views were warped from brainwashing and punishment, as well as forced beliefs. It was a religious household as well, which was not easy for him.

So from a young age, Megatron was surrounded by violence. He was not inherently a violent individual, in fact, he was a quiet youngster that often kept to himself. He was a mech that wanted to see the world and what was outside of the slums of Kaon’s working districts (yes remember my Megs is from Kaon lol). He was creative, but with little support. It meant Megatron often secluded himself so he could be alone. The outside world was ugly to him, and because of this, he made little friends. He was in no way stupid, he was rather bright, but because of his social awkwardness and lack of support, he did not appear to be overly intelligent. That was overlooked, unfortunately, and his odd behaviour was well noted enough to be assigned a therapist. Unfortunately, this therapist would later also cause lots of problems in Megatron’s future life--he is also the reason why Megatron is distrusting of psychiatrists.

Unfortunately, Megatron was born (or formed depending on what verse I’m writing in) with an injury to his processor. This went undetected for vorns. However, the physical abuse from his father made this a lot worse, and it’s also what made Megatron’s anger and impulse near uncontrollable. He grew to become violent, and filled with hate. Not just because of the world around him being absolute trash, but physically, he had a defect that he didn’t know about until ages later. Unfortunately, even when they did find out, Megatron’s parents were poor and unable to get the funds for such a pricey and dangerous procedure, especially knowing it may impact his processor in the long run. It went untreated, and Megatron’s therapist said so long as he was on medications to suppress the impulses and anger, he’d be able to function.

Eventually, Megatron’s anger finally erupted and he killed someone. Due to this, he was trialled and locked away in an Institute because he was clearly unwell, where his life only became worse. His parents abandoned him, he didn’t know how to speak up about what his life was like, he was emotionally stunted due to everything he’d experienced and the only friend he had was his psychiatrist, Gammaray. Gammaray’s care for his patient unfortunately ended up turning into obsession, and he turned on Megatron also, doing awful things to him until Megatron eventually killed him, too (it was well deserved tho... >.>).

That was a turning point for Megatron, though, because unbeknown to him, Gammaray’s help was in fact making him a lot worse. The relationship they had also turned very toxic, and when he left the picture, he began to heal, or at least, that’s what he thought. Megatron was finally released and he was sent into the world as a functioning mech into the mines where our story begins, or... the comics begin anyway lol, because there’s a hell of a lot more that happened to him before he turned revolutionary and made his rise. :’D

#headcanons #Meta #my AU #cw: abuse #// Like I said some of this is vague because I don't want to recap my series and make it carved in stone HERE #// Because I know this is RP and some people won't be comfortable with this #// But please know that my Megs HAS been incarcerated before and has killed and was absolutely abused by his mentors

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tekras-iszovh · 2 years

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2 and 3?

// 2. What's something you constantly have to re-explain about your muse

I don't neccessarilly re-explain this a lot because people don't make assumptions as is (interaction scarcity beloathed) - but he's... harsh. His online identity is fairly loose and flippant, but his real life attitudes are robotically determined at best, and destructively stubborn at worst, at least when talking with folks he doesn't know in a personal manner - his friends and lovers get a much different attitude.

But, in the lines of work, as well as space trading, he's got an almost unhinged determination to get exactly what he wants, and is willing to get manipulative or violent about it.

Another thing I like to explain a lot is - he's old? He never portrays himself as such - he prefers to live his youth for as long as he can - he doesn't actually ever intend to 'look' old - but his robotic life, most of it spent mindlessly developing his tech so he could live his current life - it's been a while. Over 200 sweeps, at least. His real, bronzeblooded body, has in fact been kept in preservation for a vast amount of that time, though in the last couple sweeps he's brought it's 15sweep old self out for a ride or two, and thus it's aging again.

Not that he intends to inhabit it - it's going right back into the freezer with 100 things plugged into it.

// 3. What's an inherently problematic view your character holds?

Tekras believes in survival of the fittest, but the weird Alternian version where people kill eachother for no reason. His upbringing taught it to him, and thus he has no qualms with death. Some of his best memories have come from space-flight fights, and profiteering from the belongings of defeated space crew.

He also has a lot of beliefs that almost mirror the Empire's way of governing, though laments the hemospectrum system - he would run things (nearly) just as nastily, if the tables were turned or equalised - though like the hypocrite he says he isn't, he would make nepotism-exceptions for people he likes. His reasoning, is mostly down to 'I did well, others can, and if they don't that's on them'. Flawed mindset.

He, however, is nowhere near doing that. Thankfully. Don't ask that hypothetical to him, though. He'll get all annoyed about saying it in front of people he likes (who he is at least conscious enough to not say opinions he knows are a little wack in front of...)

#ask meme

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picwew · 3 years

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SQUAD UP! It’s time for Yuna and his crew of miscreant demons!

(Picrews are here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here!)

The characters are, top to bottom, left to right--

Nakajima, Yuna: A human with unusually high magical potential. His specialty is the binding of demons into servitude, which he utilizes to stop particularly troublesome demons from threatening human populations across the globe. Most of the demons under his care were seduced by him, as he has quite a knack for making men want him. As such, several of his servants are vying for his favor, but, in his own words, “I don’t play favorites~”

Obviously, Yuna is a bit of a flirt. His tastes extend well beyond demons, into just about any non-human he can get his hands on. He has a ravenous appetite for handsome men, but no plans to settle down any time soon. It isn’t that romance doesn’t appeal to him, more that he’s still young and a little too free-spirited for anything permanent. The way he dotes on his servants, though, you’d certainly think he was in love with them, Nihil in particular.

Mourning Dove: Affectionately referred to by his coworkers as “Dovey”, this little fellow was the first of Yuna’s servants, and is therefore his most staunch defender. The details of his past are hazy, even in his own mind, but he was born into the slave trade, nameless, nothing, the psychological toll of which would not become apparent until his eventual escape. He was full of hatred for the humans who had callously treated him as property, and claimed many lives before Yuna was able to soothe his aching heart. “You’re pretty as a mourning dove,” Yuna told him. From that moment on, he decided that this would be his name.

Dovey is, above all, an empath. Much of his time recovering from a life of slavery was spent learning to feel again. Once he got the hang of it, however, he found that he felt a little too much, so much so that he’s become somewhat of a crybaby. When others are in pain, he is often the one to comfort them. His sweet disposition and cute appearance have earned him his coworkers’ love, although they still get a bit miffed with him whenever he tries to hog Yuna’s attention.

Dr. Callaway: An interesting case, and a tough nut to crack. Only Yuna knows his full name; no one knows his story. All he’s shared is that he was fingered for human experimentation, and that, no, he has neither learned his lesson nor wishes to. Still, he behaves himself well enough, perhaps because he is entirely obsessed with Yuna in the most unhealthy way. While most of his coworkers consider one another family, Dr. Callaway is detached and often mocking of their sentimentality.

As expected, Dr. Callaway is a terrible sadist. He takes great pleasure in hurting others in any way he can. Nowadays, this is limited almost entirely to insults and threats, but he has been known to get physical with others when Yuna isn’t looking. It doesn’t help that nothing seems to bother him in return. You could beat the man senseless, and he’d come out of it grinning like a jackal.

Corvo: This one was a misunderstanding--or, rather, a case of cultures clashing in a very gruesome manner. Corvo is a hybrid of demon and crowkin. Beastkin are not true demons, but are often lumped in with them, so mixed-race families are not uncommon. Unfortunately, this can lead to some problematic offspring, particularly when one or both of the parents are detached from human society. Corvo, like many crowkin, was taught that food is food, and that human meat is the most delicious of all. He bore no ill will toward humans, but his view of them as, essentially, cattle culminated in a visit from Yuna.

Following his binding, Corvo began the lengthy process of finding something he liked more than human flesh. This, as it turned out, was sweets--all sweets, from pastries, to ice cream, to candy. He had never had sweets before, and everyone agreed that they suited his bubbly, affectionate personality more than human flesh anyway. He is certainly the gentlest of all of Yuna’s servants, dedicated to his family and to protecting those in need. He’s especially fond of cats.

Erebus: Known by those who worship him as the Master of Crows, Erebus is an ill-understood being. He is ancient, but has had little to do with his own kind since time out of mind. Instead, he appears to have become so entwined with his worshipers that he can no longer live without their faith to sustain him. During the Northern Crusades, a great many of them were persecuted for their faith, and Erebus fell into a centuries-long slumber. Only when his followers began to grow in number again did he wake--and command those loyal to him to seek vengeance for their fallen brethren. Naturally, Yuna had a thing or two to say about that.

Erebus is highly asocial, but does not dislike his coworkers. It would be a stretch to say he views them as family; even so, he gets along well with them on the rare occasion Yuna can talk him out of his comfortable pocket of darkness. As the oldest of his colleagues, he is respected and even admired, but he cares little for the love of his own kind. He desires mortal love, which he receives through his worshipers. Due to their number still being relatively low, you’ll rarely catch him awake. Only Yuna seems able to rouse him, and only because Yuna is his “most cherished one”.

Mage: A troublemaker with a bark worse than his bite--but he can and will bite, so mind your fingers. Like Dr. Callaway, his true name is known only to Yuna. His coworkers know him as Mage, taken from Magenta, the name of the rather nasty chemical he produces to draw in his prey. He doesn’t harm them, but he has seduced many a married man away from his wife. Causing strife among couples is what he does best. As an incubus, he finds the taste of a married man’s energy too sweet to resist. So, of course, when he found himself seduced by Yuna, he was completely baffled--and absolutely obsessed. He still toys with married men now and then, when he gets the chance, but spends most of his time trying to talk Yuna back into bed.

Though rare, Mage can be persuaded to bust heads, and does so with the best of ‘em. He’s highly territorial, meaning that although he rather likes his colleagues, he often tangles up with them over Yuna’s affection. He is particularly hostile toward Nihil, who rather delights in teasing Mage with his closeness to their master. Outside of his romantic conflicts with his housemates, he tends to be rather lackadaisical, spending much of his free time lounging on every comfortable surface available. People find his presence enjoyable due to his easygoing disposition and passion for mischief.

Nihil: Of all the demons under Yuna’s employ, Nihil is the one who has come closest to winning his heart. Theirs is a strangely intimate relationship, one which Yuna insists is platonic--and yet, Nihil is at his side always, his obedient shadow. Of course, they weren’t always so close. Nihil is an inherently violent, cruel man whose sole purpose in life is to cause as much pain and grief as he possibly can. He is absolutely, positively insane, for no other reason than this is how he believes a demon should be. This is his aesthetic, and a demon’s aesthetic is absolute. He minds his P’s and Q’s now that he’s bound to Yuna, but never lets his “family” forget what he is, Yuna least of all.

Nihil loves no being, except, by his own admission, Yuna. He teases his master constantly, always pushing his limits, always pushing his buttons. “I am your loyal dog,” is a favorite line of his, spoken, with a pointed smile, whenever Yuna asks something of him. For some reason, it never fails to fluster Yuna, which allows Nihil to worm himself further into his darling’s heart. Unlike his colleagues, he is not afraid to get physical with Yuna, and many of their more heated arguments have ended in the bedroom. Whether Nihil actually enjoys servitude remains to be seen, but for Yuna, he would pull the moon from the sky.

Pox: The general consensus on Pox is “unfriendly, but not unbearable”. A life of self-isolation has made him difficult to approach, even more difficult to befriend, especially given that everyone he’s ever loved, he has killed. He is a demon of sickness, of plague and of rot, of suffering so old as to be carved into the bones of the earth. When he was young, he could not control the disease that spread from him. Though his mortal mother tried desperately to guide him, eventually, she was overcome, and Pox left the village he had once called home, now populated only by the dead and dying. He learned then that he could not live among his mother’s people, but he knew nothing of his father’s. Rather than seek them out and put them at risk as well, he exiled himself to the outskirts of human society, interacting with it only when necessary. With time, he came to understand his power, and was able to control it--but his peaceful life came to an end when one of the few humans he had allowed himself to love was killed in a botched robbery. Pox designated himself judge, jury, and executioner, and it wasn’t long before Yuna showed up on his doorstep.

Pox hides his self-loathing under a cold, hard outer shell. His mask is flawless, perfected through a lifetime of guilt, and he allows no one near enough to break it. His coworkers believe that they are despised by him, but in truth, he loves each of them with every inch of himself. Saying so is difficult, though, and such an admission would only encourage them to endanger themselves. He may be in complete control of his magic most days, but there are times even now when he catches himself slipping. He is desperate to protect Yuna and the strange family they have all built together, so much so that he would rather suffer in silence than risk their lives asking for help.

Seta Sericum: The peculiarity of his name has led to his coworkers calling him Silky, a moniker which he has accepted only begrudgingly. Silky is a Nephalem, the product of a love between angel and demon. Typically, his fathers’ love for one another would have ended in tragedy, but the two stayed together even after their angelic half was cast from divinity. Silky was raised in a happy home, albeit a mobile one; his fathers couldn’t risk staying in one place for too long, lest the Church track them down. Ultimately, it was the Church, their greatest fear, that was their end. They were cut down while protecting Silky, who was forced to flee in the vain hope that his absence might somehow save his fathers. The Church searched for him, but he had hidden himself well. Now an orphan, he swore vengeance on his parents’ murderers--and he got it too, once he was old enough to control his immense magical power. He despises the Church, but killed only those among its ranks who had directly harmed him. Regardless, Yuna came for him, and he submitted to servitude as recompense.

Silky’s demonic father was a real fop of a man, and his son is no different now that he’s had a chance to adjust to a normal life. He insists that everyone pull their own weight, that everything be in its place at all times, and has a fondness for indulgences such as expensive wine and imported chocolates. Without these little luxuries, he would surely have gone mad, for both his mischievous master and his trouble-making housemates frustrate him to no end. He has tried, with mixed success, to serve as a role model for them, but, oh, they are all such children. Dovey is far too naive, Dr. Callaway is far too sadistic, Corvo is far too oblivious, Mage is far too flirtatious, Nihil is far too violent, Pox is far too cold, and Vincent is far too reclusive. Erebus, at least, is well-behaved, though Silky thinks he could stand to mingle more with the group.

Vincent Blythe: On the forefront of medical progress during the Victorian Era, Dr. Vincent Blythe has become little more than a shell of his former self. When his prostitute mother was murdered by one of her stags, something snapped in him. He began targeting, torturing, and finally killing any man who frequented brothels or whom he had seen with street-walkers, believing himself to be the protector of his mother’s people. It was only then when he realized he was something more than human. His father, it turned out, had been a demon who had fallen terribly in love with his mother, but whose feelings had been spurned by her. After receiving a near-fatal wound in a skirmish with a prominent vampire hunter of the day, Vincent tucked himself away in a dark corner of London to heal. He slept for over a century, and when he woke, attempted to pick up where he’d left off. Confused, his trauma still fresh in his mind, he killed all who drew near. Phone calls were made, flights were booked, and Yuna arrived on scene to bring him back to his senses.

Vincent is terribly withdrawn. On the one hand, he is distrustful of all humans, and men in particular frighten him. On the other hand, he has had little to no experience with his own kind, and so struggles to fit in among them. He finds himself at an impasse, unable to shake the trauma of his mother’s murder, and equally unable to bond with his father’s kin. Because of this, he is prone to bouts of violent madness when he feels that he is being threatened, or when he wakes from particularly vivid nightmares, in which he witnesses his mother’s murder and can do nothing to stop it. Dr. Callaway has oft remarked that Vincent is a genius, a true medical prodigy, and that it is too bad he’s so “broken”.

#picrew #male ocs #demon ocs

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hemera989 · 4 years

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Hot Takes: Yukio Okumura

Aka, 'My Analysis Of Yukio That No One Asked For And Yet I Will Give It Anyways’ asjhdkajshfs also, tw for talk of attempted suicide, suicidal thoughts, depression and trauma!

The main reason I felt it necessary to give My Take on Yukio was not entirely because I love him and feel like he’s a lot more immature and human than people like to think though that is a large chunk of the reason. It was rather because recent manga chapters have really gone on to shake up how I view him, and it helps to write things down.

I feel like perhaps it’s best to start chronologically in a way, because there’s no one event that really led to the reveal of Yukio as he is today- depressed, suicidal, and destructive. There is no one reason to point a finger at, or one life event to deconstruct. He’s a product of his personality, childhood, and the overall events that led to his birth. And what better way to start a childhood off, than with bullying?

Considering how traumatic bullying can be, it’s just a little bit surprising to see how much it tends to get glossed over (for both Rin and Yukio). This is where I believe Yukio’s inferiority complex may have developed, or at least started becoming prominent. He was teased and harassed as a child, and unable to defend himself besides relying on Rin to protect him. While Rin was only doing so out of genuine love and care for Yukio, this is likely where his twisted opinion of their relationship began. Rin was good and kind and strong, and defended him out of love, and Yukio was weak and a crybaby, and resented both Rin and himself for how little he was able to protect himself on his own.

This is where we can see his mindset begin to develop; Rin = good and strong, and Yukio = weak and bad. This even extends to Shiro, which we can see somewhat in what I believe is the Kraken arc.

This also becomes what I believe is the core of Yukio’s character- he does not like himself. Because he hates himself so thoroughly, he doesn’t believe that he deserves to be liked, or even that he genuinely can be liked for who he is. We see this in his conversation with Rin during the Aomori arc, where he remarks to Rin that if Shiemi knew the ‘real’ him, she would hate him. He believes that he is an unlikable person, to both himself and others.

In a way, this also stems from his relationship with Rin. Rin is in no way at fault for why Yukio is the way that he is, but the friction between their two personalities does deepen their own insecurities. Because Rin is reckless and headstrong, Yukio is forced to be the ‘mean guy’, the one to put his foot down, the one to say ‘no’ because he knows that Rin isn’t often capable of doing so himself. He is forced into responsibilities too intense for him to properly handle both due to Rin’s position as the inheritor of the blue flames, and due to his brother’s personality as the goofy, fun-having teen. (If you’ve ever had siblings, or, hell, even had to be the voice of reason in a situation where people are having reckless fun, you know exactly how this feels.)

When you take how his personality is, you can see exactly how his position as an exorcist has exacerbated this to an almost extreme amount. Though Shiro didn’t do so intentionally, he almost single-handedly createted one of Yukio’s most damaging mindsets- that becoming strong is the only way forward for Yukio.

(Don’t take this as Shiro slander, I love that man and he tried his best with the complicated history he already has with childhood) Through trying to give Yukio the chance to seize strength for himself, he set off quite a few chain reactions within Yukio’s mindset. First, he associated strength as a person with physical strength. Second, he associated worth as a person with physical strength. Third, he associated Yukio’s strength and worth with Rin, by making exorcism a way to protect Rin from other demons. Foruth, in my opinion, we can see the reduction of Yukio and Shiro’s relationship from a father-son bond to a teacher- student bond. Now, Yukio begins to lose his main support system- his father. Shiro is no longer his dad, but the paladin, a strong man who offered him an unhealthy way forward in life.

In one decision, we can see how Yukio’s self hatred found an external focus to worsen itself for him. Yukio believes that he is a weak, worthless, and unlikable person. But, now, he does have a purpose, something in life that is worth living for. He begins to develop his entire concept of himself as a person on that of becoming an exorcist, becoming strong, and protecting his brother. He hates himself, but he knows that he can do one thing- protect Rin.

We can also see where his superiority complex begins to develop. Being born human while his brother was born clearly demonic, Yukio has more worth in the eyes of the True Cross. Being the good child, and the smart child with a plan for his future, he has more worth in the eyes of society. He is better than his brother, and he knows it, but he also knows that Rin is (in his eyes) inherently good and kind, and Yukio is not. He is better, but he is also lesser than Rin.

Protecting his brother is also where I believe his relationship with Rin begins to deteriorate to a dramatic extent. Yukio wants strongly to protect him, because that’s where he believes his worth as a person is, but in a way, he resents the burden that’s been placed on him. He has to be the responsible one, the mean one, the assertive one, the negotiator, the one to clean up Rin’s messes, the one to fix everything, the one to give up his entire childhood just for exorcism to protect Rin. Yukio is a child, and one who was denied the chance to be one. He was never allowed the chance to selfishly externalize his emotions (like children should be ALLOWED to do, imo) and so never learned how to process his own emotions.

At this point in his life, he resents Rin for being ‘allowed’ to be selfish and destructive, he resents Rin and the world for having this burden of responsibility put on his shoulders, and he resents himself still for being an unlikable, weak, and worthless person, and for resenting Rin and the world. He is vastly, vastly unhappy and hateful towards himself, and is already suffering in the assortment of circumstances he finds himself in.

And then throw in a murdered dad, because why not?

Now, the burden that was placed on him and shared between himself and Shiro, is now solely on him. On top of having his father suddenly and traumatically killed, he is now responsible (in his mind) for Rin. One could argue Mephisto, but he proved... extremely quickly that he was not interested in the finer details of guardianship LMAO. Yukio now is the sole bearer of Rin’s wellbeing, and he finds very quickly that this is a role he does not (and cannot, as a child himself) succeed in.

Yukio has been thrust abruptly into the world of becoming a parent, in an extremely twisted and awful way. He is a child, in an adult field, surrounded by adults, treated as an adult, and now he essentially is the parent of Rin. This is complicated enough with Rin’s personality, but then you have to add in that Rin is the illegitimate and illegal son of Satan, and his very existence, if revealed, would lead to his certain death. As Rin reveals his powers, gets sentenced to execution, picks fights with Amaimon, uses his powers across Kyoto and in damn near every public space whenever possible, Yukio’s distress and mental state begins to worsen as he realizes that he is failing.

We can see him begin to externalize his mounting frustrations and anger and fear, through reprimanding Rin harshly, threatening Suguro, threatening Mephisto, and also that scene where he punched the shit out of Rin for being reckless. Yukio needs his brother alive, because Rin is his only family left, and because his worth as a person is tied directly to protecting Rin. It is his only purpose in life, and he is failing at it, and he deeply resents Rin for making it difficult, and himself for failing. His downward spiral begins to become visible around these points, and we can also see the start of his worsening habit of taking his volatile emotions out on others physically.

He is progressively being backed into a corner with no way out, and like a wounded animal, he is lashing out at anyone who dares come close. Yukio’s violent and hurtful behavior towards others is not because he’s an uptight asshole who does it for fun, but because he’s a traumatized, depressed, and suicidal child who is losing the one person he has left and who gives his life worth. He has no substantial guidance from the adults around him, and for all intents and purposes, he is alone. He wants to rely on Rin, but because Rin has a tendency to process negative emotions by shoving them down and away, Yukio can’t rely on him.

This is what I think is the most heartbreaking aspect of Yukio. He is a hurt and lonely child, who is deeply mentally ill, who is losing his brother and lashing out at others because he doesn’t know what else to do. He is acutely aware that he is being cruel and unkind, and he doesn’t want to be. He wants to be good, and kind, and liked, and valued. He doesn’t want to hurt others.

This scene makes this obvious. This is what I believe is the cliff’s edge where Yukio takes the drop that leads him to where he is in the manga now. He is terribly lonely, and hateful, but in a moment where he lashes out emotionally, he managed to do something he feels is well and wholly despicable. Shiemi is the one person he cares for genuinely, healthily, and truly. She wants to help him because she cares for him, and yet he hurts her for daring to mention his largest insecurity- and he knows that.You can see it written across his expression- he’s shocked, and horrified with himself for how he lost control. His hands are shaking.

He managed to do the one thing he feared above all, and that was to let Shiemi see who he ‘truly’ was. He hurt someone who unselfishly cared for him, and this is where he begins to think that he has gone past the point of no return. He is so awful, and terrible, that he hurt someone as kind as Shiemi. He is so worthless that he is failing at the one job that gives his life meaning. He is so evil and cruel that he has shoved everyone away, and now he truly has no one left.

He is worthless, and evil, and terrible- this is how Yukio views himself. Why not kill himself, and then the world would be rid of him?

Except, now another wrench has been thrown in. Yukio finds that, with Satan possessing his eye, he has become worse that worthless and evil and terrible. Now, his life poses a threat to humanity, by allowing Satan a way into Assiah. His life isn’t just worthless now, it’s become an active threat to the world, in his mind. Now, he can rationalize that his death is necessary. He is suicidal, but he has convinced himself that it’s fine, because he needs to die anyways.

This is where I believe he is in the manga, now. He is convinced that he has to die, and says it’s because he wants to save the world from Satan, but it is extremely likely that it’s mostly because he is extremely suicidal. He is hellbent (pardon the pun) on his own death. He will stop at nothing to secure his own death, no matter what it takes. His trauma, his mental illness, his self-hatred- they’re all open and exposed, now. If he’s an evil, unlikable, and cruel person, why not commit to it? Why not make himself the most evil, the most unlikable, the most cruel, if it means someone will finally get tired enough to truly put himself out of his misery?

He’s cast aside his true kindness and gentleness, and has embraced what he believes to be his ‘true’ self. He will die, and he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.

That’s my take on him, what I believe his mindset is and how it developed. Yukio is not a hero. He hurt Shiemi, threatened his students, threatened his guardian, and shot Rin multiple times. Whether or not Rin heals from it is irrelevant, Yukio still made the conscious choice to harm Rin, and others. But, he has never done so because he is evil inside. He’s done so because he’s a wounded animal, lashing out, determined to secure his own death. He is a traumatized child who has hurt others.

He deserves kindness and understanding, but also to be held accountable for his actions. He’s what I believe to be the embodiment of the ugly side of mental illness that many people are resistant to see. His character is uncomfortable to read, because he is startlingly real and three-dimensional. Like many of the characters in aoex, he cannot be classified as good or bad. He is a complex person, with good and bad aspects, like any person in real life.

godDAMN could someone give him a HUG and some THERAPY PLEASE.

#ao no exorcist #blue exorcist #character analysis #yukio okumura #okumura yukio #yuriotoko rants

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lesserfandomappreciation · 4 years

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This is probably a tall order, but I was wondering if you could do some general personality headcanons for the Deadly Six from Sonic Lost World? It hurts my heart that the characters weren't more popular, but I can understand why at the same time since they're not that fleshed out. I mean, there's hints of stuff here and there, it's just not much. But the zeti have potential, damn it! Let me know if you want some specifics on things, of if you wanna do this in pieces. Thanks for your time~

WORLD BUILDING! World building and character building is my ham so I’m thrilled to do this! This actually become significantly longer than intended.

So I have never played this game, so I’m basing this exclusively off a few cutscenes I managed to find and general initial impressions. Let me know if you want something more in-depth!

Deadly Six reimagined (Sonic Lost World)

General

The Zeti race as a whole is referred to as “demons” with the Deadly 6 appearing to be the deadliest of their species. Heavily implied in the game is the fact that the Zeti are a lethal, violent race taking pride in practiced malevolence.

An entire race being evil or amoral is not only an outdated trope, but one with really icky origins so knackers to that I’m throwing in some of my own world building.

Based on how the Deadly 6 are all either disciples of or literally Master Zik, the reimagined!Zeti race is less malevolent so much as focused on attainment of glory and recognition. Every person is expected to discipline themselves into a strong, powerful being capable of great achievements. Competition is rampant with rivalry being imposed from a young age.

Despite rivalry, those who study under a common Master consider themselves as a structured force or clan representing their Master and his/her/their ideology. Master Zik in particular holds the ideology of complete domination of foes and enforcing the strength that already exists. Those who come across his clan often get the impression the Zeti exist to conquer when really, it is only in response to what is done to them to remind people not to mess with them.

Zeti are driven by the goals of communal recognition; challenges make individuals stronger, thus reinforcing the people as a whole. Spar-matches and challenges are inherent in the society. Clans and individuals alike compete to bring glory.

But. There is an unspoken rule amongst the Zeti that keeps things from ever turning to a full blood bath. Zeti do not turn against their own Clan or family (both if they are one in the same as is the case with many). The idea of any Zeti attacking a sibling in learning or a relative is unheard of - any who did that are considered dishonorable and risk expulsion as a whole from society.

Master Zik

Utter the name “Zik” in any Zeti plaza. Previous foes will wilt in cowardice. Pride from their allies puffs up further. The average Zeti, neither friend nor foe, will still be able to share a tale or two of one of the greatest warriors to have ever trained.

In a society focused on discipline and achieving greatness, Zik went above expectations. Bars he set have but rarely been neared. Until Zavok, most were largely considered impossible to meet.

Zik is a unique Zeti. Warriors do set Clans up to welcome new students and carry on their name, but Zik is not an easy master. His ideology of domination is standard but his ideas of strength are incredibly unique in a world where weakness is to be quelled and trained away. Zik believes that the inherent strength within an individual should be harnessed instead of ignored. Any skill can be made combative if one knows how to master it completely.

In all his years Zik took on only a handful of students, with only 5 ever making it into his inner circle and being official members of his Clan. He is not an easy teacher.

Obstacles are nothing to this little Zeti. He has faced a lifetime of challenges due to his small stature and his unique powers. Strategy, cunning and an overwhelming drive to be strong allowed him to rise above the ranks. Any challenge he faces he knows has a solution - it is a difficult task to actually perturb him to the point of nerves.

It’s specifically because of his lifetime of difficulties that he taught all his students to eradicate their foes so thoroughly. Too many times his mercy let to more foes than needed. Crush a foe and all they hold dear, and no one will ever come to avenge their broken ashes.

Zik views himself as a father figure turned advisor to the group. In his heart of hearts, they are his pride and joy. He could not leave them. Bedridden and frail he’s still drag his way alongside them to keep these youngsters of his on the right path.

Zomom (First Disciple)

Zomom is the eldest of Master Zik’s student, being the first welcomed into Zik’s inner circle. This is a matter of great pride for him and makes him very protective of the others as a result. Zavok holds the title of leader but it is no secret that the eldest of the students holds his fellow disciples close to his heart much how an older brother might view his siblings.

Zomom knows a lot about the other members of the team. They feel comfortable around him one-on-one, often using him as a quiet listener to talk through their thoughts.

Zomom is a strange Zeti. By height and strength he should have been a popular choice amongst his people. Yet his lack of common sense and social norms made it difficult to fit into society’s definition of a good warrior. The perceived lack of discipline in terms of food also earned him backlash from others. Emotional manipulation is an effective way of ensuring they didn’t have to fight the giant warrior physically.

It was his sincerity, his genuine sense of being and wanting to learn, that made Master Zik bring him in as a student, then disciple. Zomom is genuine, true person who could not tell a life to save his life but still tries so hard to survive in a world where lying is viewed as not just acceptable but required in some social circles. Zik saw his food abilities and build, before tailoring his training to include more food intake and improve speed.

Most affable of the Deadly 6, Zomom may be the butt of the joke at some times but they would all be furious should any harm befall him. Zomom’s willingness to shrug off insults does not sit well with any of them and they will gladly take the place of his vengeful fury to ensure it does not happen again.

Seeing one or two of the Deadly 6 relaxing with Zomom when they are burned out or want to slow down is common.

Zazz (The Second Disciple)

This is a case of a master forcibly adopting a feral child than a student asking a master to teach them. Zomom who was there the day Zazz was brought in to be taught is the only one besides Zik who knows why the Master took such a shining to Zazz, though the most he ever says on the matter is “It was like looking at a silly mirror.”

Zazz is almost the perfect Zeti. Intensely strong, with an immense battle-hunger. You’d be hard-pressed to find a more terrifying opponent. The issue lies with that same battle hunger that would make them popular in other circumstances. The whole point of the Zeti’s competitiveness is that it is, somehow, disciplined and the result of self-control/personal growth. Zazz’s entire motivation can be summed up as “because I want to.”

Zazz is very much a wild child turned wild adult with a lot of energy to burn. The ideas of the Zeti bore them a lot - why should they spend time proving himself when everyone’s so much weaker than them? They’d rather be seeking out good opponents or filling theirs time doing things that feed his ever-flickering attention.

Despite their very intense personality, Zazz is fiercely protective of the clan. They’re the only ones to really indulge Zazz’s wide range of interests and teach them a few of their own. One day they may be with Zeena learning new techniques to make their appearance fiercer, the next they’re in the shadows with Zor learning a shadow technique that will absolutely scare the shit out of Master Zik, this time for sure!

Picks up skills like a dog gets fleas. They’re not a master at any of them but the way they’re able to combine them makes them a fearsome opponent, a lethal prankster and find something to connect over with anyone.

Zeena (The Third Disciple)

Female-identifying Zeti are held to the same standard as any other Zeti so her presence in the Clan isn’t entirely unexpected. However, many Zeti tend to prefer Clans of their own gender out of comfort or outright preference.

Youngster Zeena, known for her cold intensity, had her pick of the litter in terms of Masters - her tethering abilities made her a powerful long-distance opponent, and her technology skills make her a verifiable weapon powerhouse. Her choice to go for Master Zik was a surprise, but Zik accepted her.

In truth, she went for Master Zik because she didn’t want to just be a long-distance specialist. She wanted a Master who could hone her abilities to be used in more creative ways. Zomom and Zazz’s successes got her attention.

With Zik she learned to use her tethering abilities to completely control the field. Able to move quickly, redirect her opponents and load the battle field with her varied arsenal, facing off against Zeena is incredibly difficult.

Always looking to perfect her abilities as the “Perfect Zeti Fighter” Zeena spends a lot of time perfecting her body to make it superior to other Zeti. Outside of that in her lab she’s developing new weapons with distinct abilities to use in combat. Bouncy bombs, whips with unique charges - she’s offered to create some for the rest of the team, but they’ve only accepted limited help.

Zeena views herself as the pinnacle of Zeti power, with the ability to do more. She holds the rest of the Deadly 6 to the same standard and is not above offering weapons advice or ways to improve their appearance to terrify their enemies into a stupor.

Zor (The Fourth Disciple)

Zor was not expected to succeed. There are many ways to be considered a successful Zeti - strength, speed, smarts. Lurking in the shadows is not traditionally viewed as particularly impressive. Zor’s inclination to the shadows made him unpopular in the society.

In turn, this made Zor dislike society as a whole and develop a severe nihilistic attitude that continues to plague him to this day. Why should he trust a system that failed him so badly anyway? It is ultimately pointless.

Zor didn’t so much as join the Clan as he was chased into the clan. Lurking in his shadows he didn’t know of the tall Zeti whose attention has zeroed in on the very interestingly-moving shadow until Zazz had already begun to give chase. Master Zik hadn’t a clue what to make of the huffy Zeti his Second Disciple had under his arm, but if Zazz saw talent in this one, it was worth exploring.

Zor’s abilities as a spymaster make him a vital part of the group. His abilities contribute to that but it is his powers of observation and deduction that really lend themselves to this role. Having been a spectator to his society for most of his life, he has developed powerful strategies to collect information at a mass scale - needless to say, trying to keep a secret from him is difficult.

The main introvert of the group, Zor struggles to be with them all at once. While he likes each one of them just fine (good luck getting him to say that) their overall energy can be overwhelming. He prefers to be with one-three people at a time to preserve his social energy.

Zavok (The Final Disciple)

Societies have ideal standards people strive towards. Often impossible to achieve, they’re viewed more as a lifetime goal than a realistic achievement. Those who do manage to hit it are considered to be above others as they command respect. Amongst the Zeti, that impossible person is Zavok.

Zavok himself comes from an impressive lineage - all the Zeti before him have been great warriors, commanders, people filling leadership roles. Each generation of greatness placed more expectations upon the next and as an only child, Zavok had no one to share these burdens with. He exceled at them, but it was not the glory he sought. He wanted to great his own reputation free of his past.

The announcement of Zavok’s self-imposed expulsion from his lineage shook Zeti society to its core. His subsequent request to become Zik’s pupil further shook everyone, but Master Zik did have a penchant for collecting odd students. What was one more lost warrior seeking purpose?

Zavok evolved far beyond anyone could have guessed under Master Zik’s tutelage. Part of this was due to his own upbringing, but it truly was Zavok’s own determination and fast mind that let him adapt to Zik’s unusual forms of training. He wanted to become indomitable and he would do whatever it took to do so....

...But, he wasn’t quite perfect. Zavok is a brilliant minded individual, but upon reaching the inner circle, he realized that he was incredibly unused to working in a group. It took a great deal of time, self-reflection and humbling for him to become the leader he is to do, due in part to his own hang-ups he thought he had left behind with his family.

With time, he grows to respect each team member and view them as close family. Upon Zik’s retirement and Zavok’s ascension to the head of the Clan, Zavok was the undisputed respected and admired leader of the Clan, holding each of them in high regard and daring anyone to try and take what they had built.

#sonic #sonic lost worlds #zeti #worldbuilding #deadly six #i know nothing about these characters #I just watched a few cutscenes and ran with it #in the future #please limit to 5 characters #my imagination ran wild this time but it took so much longer than I though #imagine #sonic imagine

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tonya-the-chicken · 3 years

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I’m not going to change your views but it does feel a bit dismissive when you say it wasn’t that bad because he had rich parents who neglected him but hey they got a maid for him and he probably wasn’t outcasted or bullied so hey it’s not that bad right 🤷‍♀️! I don’t know he definitely didn’t have the worse out of the villains but I don’t know it felt a bit dismissive is all. Although we need to all remember these are fictional characters so have no idea why the other anon needed to get so aggressive! Also the person in the notes I don’t know how to say it but uh the whole the Todoroki’s had a rich father they didn’t have to work a day in their life take is not a good look. Just because someone has parents with money it doesn’t derail the fact that neglect can cause trauma.

Anyways for the real reason I sent this, you wonder why Dabi is so insane. Well take into account the neglect alongside the fact that he burnt to near death up on that hill alone at the age of what 13? That’s got to be extra traumatising, especially for a child that was already not mentally ok. We also don’t know what his circumstances were like after that fire, like was he homeless? Or picked up by someone nefarious? Kind of like AFO(not him exactly but someone nasty) who maybe fed on his brewing anger and hate instead of positive healing. I’m sure we will find out at some point? I don’t think it was just what happened in the Todoroki household or the fire that broke his mind? There had to be other factors after the fire after his “death”!

[[WARNING!!! I love Dabi as a character but I am not a woobifier so if you are too much into him don't read!!!! No complaints taken, y'all will be blocked for being rude I am too old to deal with people unable to interact with me in good faith (anon it's not for you, you are good and I can't understand your point of view I am just not as good as a person and too old for that shit)]]

I don't think I will change my mind either but I feel like the belief that every trauma is equally bad is just... Simply wrong. Like, we can legit compare this stuff and how badly it affects our brain, what do y'all think psychologists research 🤷‍♀️ Like, your therapist won't tell you this because it's not their job to make you understand you not the centre of the Earth (and it won't help because it is a legit trauma response that is very valid but is annoying you're fucking 25 yo). And to say that, neglectful parenthood is probably the worst parenthood style, as far as I know XD I wrote coursework about this (neglectful bitches are having a lot of need to make us the biggest victims (the bitches is me))... It also feels really American to me? Like, are we going to pretend people who got to live in a nice house and were neglect somehow got it as bad as people living in poverty or warzones? Hello? Imagine telling some orphan "I know you have no parents but actually, my trauma of my father not spending enough time with me is just as severe as yours". Bruh couldn't be me sorry... Like, even taking into account the fact that we can have weaker or stronger nervous systems or be more prone to depressive episodes *looks in the mirror and cries* I simply wouldn't find the guts to say my trauma is as severe as idk people who had physically abusive parents or no parents at all or who were disowned for being gay

And like **again** I am not saying that neglect is not traumatic I WAS NEGLECTED THIS IS TRAUMATIZING AS FUCK. I just am living in a country at war and with lots of discrimination problems and I like... Can't say I am the biggest victim. Sorry I can't though there were times when I was a lot more bitchy especially before being in therapy so I understand where you are coming from and I know what I am saying won't resonate with everyone (it's ok go on your own healing journey I believe in you) but this doesn't mean it is garbage and won't help me or someone else... I've already talked once about it but as a person, I am very easily irritated and envious and really not your local Jesus and partially my trauma turned me like this so being more humble about my sufferings helps me not be a complete bitch (believe me or not but people with traumas and mental illnesses are often insufferable *looks in the mirror* not me though I am perfect... BUT IT IS OK TO BE INSUFFERABLE OK??? like, bitch, that's normal. That's normal to stink when you are depressed it's ok to be a bitch when you are hurting. Forgive yourself because I forgive you (when you are not being an abusive asshole but if you apologize and explain yourself I will forgive that too)

The reason why I talk about the fact he is rich is that I've got a disease called leftism and I am a person of several marginalized identities and since this fandom LOVES looking at characters like real humans, I looked at Dabi this way. And if Dabi was a real human, I wouldn't sympathize with him one bit. I would fucking hate him for being the biggest entitled asshole who commits crimes for the reason his Daddy didn't give him attention. Bitch, my Dad didn't give me attention either! But somehow I don't kill people! And I don't even have money!!!! But like... I am not denying that neglectful parents are not a problem. It is. But he is overreacting, bro. He needs to humble down and recognize the fact he is a fucking idiot (he is). He has inherently so much more resources to recover and heal himself than I had... Yes, I am just being jealous at this point but honestly. Making an entire country suffer for you is not a good thing and y'all need to stop using trauma and mental illness as an excuse for people. No! Being abusive to people because of neglect is not valid, is overreacting and you had no reason to do that. I am dismissing your trauma because you are exaggerating it to make me sympathize with your asshole behaviour. I won't judge people with different sets of standards as I judge myself

I bet it would be dismissive and bad if I said it in conversation with someone who is currently struggling with mental health and is not a murderer. But guess what! I don't talk with humans and my friends the same way I talk on my Tumblr about fictional characters 🤷‍♀️ Not to mention I don't have rich friends akabsksbxm

I think with Dabi there's this whole thing where we saw him at 14 (poor baby boy) and 24 (a grown-ass boy) and... Like, I am so sorry for 14 years old Touya not receiving the help he needs (bruh so relatable) but I am not gonna act like 24 years old bitch can't get his ass to a psychiatrist (extremely unrelatable and infuriating). We shouldn't apply the same standards to kids and adults. We can talk all day long about how society is bad and how our parents ruined us but at some points, you gotta take your life into your own hands and do something and be an adult. And it's fucking hard when you're born with a shitty brain that was fucked up by your parents even more in a society where no one gives a fuck but I sincerely don't know another way to live. You will feel bad and want to die but you either keep on recovering or keep on getting worse and at this point getting worse is Dabi's *choice* That's how I live, that's my framework and I am, of course, extremely fortunate in a lot of ways but I just don't know how are you supposed to survive without the notion that grown people are responsible for themselves and their mental health. We can't act like adults are babies

But as a character, Dabi is fucking hot ngl. Like, do I sometimes want to murder my entire family, make them suffer AND commit terrorist attacks? We all do. Dabi is the dark fantasy of us neglectful bitches craving some attention. Gotta kill the president and tell everyone that my Dad sucks. Imagine the entire country hearing your Dad sucks? That's the juice, that's the dream. Trauma makes you vicious. I get the sentiment. Imagine all those fuckers who made you feel like shit pissing their pants and crying? Imagine your Mom being afraid of you the way you used to be afraid of her? People do have the desire for some violent justice but like... Think of bullied kids committing school shootings. But instead of a kid, it's a grown man who graduated school and who also have a rich father

Ok too much about irl stuff and philosophy shit. I know my way of talking is kinda brute so just know the way I treat people is different from that I treat fictional characters, in particular, I don't call real-life humans submissive and breedable... And stuff...

Damn Dabi is kinda good to project your hatred of your parents in bruh, I should write a fanfic about that (would be cathartic)

To the plotline, I am also very interested in what the hell happened with him after burning because... How the hell he wasn't found? I kind of DON'T want him to be groomed at this point because I feel like it won't be as cool as him just more naturally evolving into what he became. Like, surely, he is an asshole but consider this: as a villain, he is morally obligated to be an asshole

I feel like someone hiding him and Touya overstating the gruesomeness of his living conditions to the dude so he feels *bad* for him and hides him and feels sympathy and Touya gets attention but also begins to reassure himself in the fact his Dad needs to be punished... Idk it's a lot of mystery but I feel like more suffering won't deliver the point the way I want it... I mean it CAN be handled this way and initially I thought a lot about Dabi being brainwashed a bit or having his memories altered so it seems worse to him or even him being groomed or lied too but nowadays I am not into it. I mean I believe in Horikoshi and that he will handle him well 🛐

I talk a lot so I will summarize

If we judge him as a real human

14 yo Touya - DID NOTHING WRONG IN HIS LIFE PROTECT HIM

24 yo Dabi - go fuck yourself bitch you older than me and act like a child and kill people, I couldn't care less about your trauma rich boy

If you want me to talk as his psychologist

Yeah, it is painful and sad, I understand him so much and surely, his trauma is valid as is his hatred but probably revenge won't bring him what he wants. And what he wants is love and attention. But he gotta make choices that will lead to his healing. He needs to *want* to heal. And we will step by step go to the healing because it is possible. He is loved and he is enough. AND YOU ALL MOTHERFUCKERS WILL HEAL I BELIEVE IN YOU BESTIES

Also his therapist (behind his back)

You won't believe it but my client is the most infantile attention whore I've ever met

But if we talk about him as a character... Very delicious soup

If you talk with your friends

Please, if your friends are being abusive to you or someone else don't even LET them say how their trauma made them this way. No. Nothing allows you to be an abuser. Call them out and stop them and make them talk to the therapist. Like, surely, there are extreme situations like severe mental illnesses or extreme neglect where we should be more forgiving but babying adults won't do you any good and won't make them recover

Yeah, I guess this is what I forgot to say. When I say "it wasn't that bad" what I mean is that I would be more forgiving to people who had it worse. It's more of a personal measure where I can tolerate stuff from people who had particular traumas or from those who suffered greatly (it's not my place to be a bitch here). I can forgive 14 years old or a poor person for stealing stuff but not the 25-year-old man who got no need for money and is not a kleptomaniac. I would be more forgiving to Shigaraki than to Dabi because Shigaraki was groomed a whole lot. Same for Toga, who is not even an adult or Twice who is a poor orphan. But that doesn't mean I would forgive them completely. All of them are shitty people. It's just that they had fewer resources and possibilities to not be what they became while Dabi had more but he acts like he is extremely hurt and the biggest victim which is like... There will be people like this in your life, please, don't make friends with them, they WILL abuse you

I talked a lot damn. It's adhd I can't shut up

#asks #bnha #bnha manga spoilers #todoroki touya #bnha dabi #killing people is a legit coping mechanism #I mean I possibly do sound dismissive I am very brute in my talking but I really can't be bothered #all I am saying that I am not dismissing neglect what I am dismissing is the idea that is is bad enough to justify Dabi's reaction #neglect was bad Dabi's reaction is disproportionate though #you. don't get to kill people because your Dad didn't love you #you do get to kill people if those people killed your family #just so you understand #I got tired of talking

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sunnymiles · 4 years

Text

febuwhump day 12

@febuwhump

day 12- “who are you?”

Her head felt scrambled. There was a faint buzzing in her montrals, or were those voices? They seemed loud, angry about something.

In theory, she should open her eyes and make them shut up because their shouting was not helping her achy head.

Bright lights made her squint. Blinking a few times, she tried to acclimate to the fluorescents.

The room seemed to be spinning slightly, but that couldn’t be right. Her sharp canine bit into the inside of her cheek unconsciously. She winced, but the pain grounded her to reality- wherever that was.

The room’s occupants were staring at her. Was there something on her face?

“Ahsoka?”

“Snips?”

The two men previously arguing over her had both addressed her, so that must be her name- Ahsoka Snips.

Huh. She wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

There was a man who seemed older than his appearance suggested, a furrow etched permanently between his eyebrows. His eyes were bright blue and filled with concern, but he seemed to be rather worn himself.

The other was younger, a scar raking down his face. He vibrated with nervous energy, and his hands were fidgeting with the ends of his tunic. His nervousness was not helping her own apprehension, or the heartbeat she could feel beating out of her chest.

She caught a glimpse of a tall man in the back, hovering. He seemed at ease and unassuming, but he obviously wasn’t human.

Ahsoka didn’t recognize them, so where was she?

Her head was heavy as she forced it to scan her surroundings more carefully. White walls, her legs cushioned on something soft, a beeping from a monitor- it must be some kind of medical room.

The one who had called her ‘Snips’ was still talking to her, his arms frantically gesturing at her. Ahsoka zoned him out, more concerned about gathering information on her location and the current situation.

There was a weird feeling coursing through her. It felt strange and yet inherently comforting at the same time. It seemed to dictate intent, as she sensed each person in the room radiating an aura. She knew instinctively that she could sense them if she focused hard enough on the peculiar feeling.

The fatigued, bearded man to her left pulsed pure gold. He felt strangely melancholic, but the sheer radiant sun in his very center beckoned her to him with ease. It was heady and inviting, so she felt he was safe enough.

The man with the mask near the back of the room looked frightening upon closer inspection. His orange skin resembled her own, but the mask blocked most of his face from her view. However, the pale pink emanating from him instinctually urged her to trust him.

No, it was the one that hadn’t ceased talking that worried her. It was like staring into a violent hurricane. His aura was conflicted- dark purple with streaks of black roiling anger-

She pulled back from him, wary.

“Who are you?”

Everyone in the room paused. That had apparently been the wrong thing to say.

Suddenly it was sheer chaos. Angry guy looked as if she had struck him, his face alternating between hurt and worry.

“Snips, it’s me, it’s Anakin.”

His eyes were trying to bore that name into her soul. Ahsoka didn’t like the way he looked at her, there was something possessive, almost manic, in those eyes.

Her body reacted before she was aware, her knees pulling to her stomach to make a smaller target. A low frightened growl pushed its way from her chest. She just wanted his oppressive anger to get away from her.

But, then he realized she was cowering from him, and the self-loathing was infinitely worse.

Her lekku were twitching their distress. Half-moon indentions from her too-tight grip lined her knees.

The blonde one seemed to be messaging more medical personnel, frantically saying things into his wrist. It seemed urgent, but she just wanted some quiet. If they would all just calm down, maybe they would realize there had been a misunderstanding.

Angry depressed guy (Anakin, apparently) had started to pace, hands cording through his hair.

She had to look away and wipe her clammy hands on the pristine sheet underneath her. Her stress threatened to choke her.

This was too much, she couldn’t-

Soft pink waves suddenly rolled through her mind, cradling her anxiety. Their rhythm was soothing; the subtle motion started to calm her immediately.

She had forgotten about the masked man in all the activity- the nice unassuming one who didn’t push.

“It’s alright, little ‘Soka.”

Ahsoka whimpered but the tension slowly eased from her shoulders, hackles lowering.

“Sleep now.”

She did.

#febuwhump #my fic #ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #plo koon #who are you?#amnesia oooh #febuwhumpday12

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dnd-vigilante · 4 years

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Ignatius

General Concept

People usually play druids around the idea that nature is fundamentally opposed humans and civilization. The druid’s role in this dichotomy tends to focus on advocating balance between nature and human activity, which is a flawed, humancentric view because it assumes people are separate from nature.

A more nuanced, contemporary evolutionary view takes a more holistic view of nature by including people and civilization in nature. Civilization is one way humans have adapted to their environments similarly to beavers constructing dams. Obviously, there are many differences, the point being that the civilization versus nature dichotomy is simplistic and doesn’t take into account the more complicated picture. Plenty examples exist in the archaeological record where cities allowed wildlife to thrive by preventing erosion, and it wasn’t until after the city collapsed that the wildlife was no longer able to survive.

Taking this view into account, Ignatius will be a druid that values people and civilization because he sees them as part of the natural world. However, by giving up their objects of beauty and living modest lives, he believes people are not living in their natural state. He takes inspiration from watching animals, creatures of instinct, and believes it is human nature to be instinctual and expressive. He believes peoples’ instinct is to live freely of inhibition and create meaning which is best manifested in art and beauty. To repress human instinct is a sin.

Ideas and Questions to Explore Through Roleplaying

Ignatius believes in individuals should be free to express themselves because otherwise we are not living true to our nature, and therefore not really living and may as well not exist. How will he reconcile that when people's’ real lives are at stake? At what cost will he be willing promote freedom?

Ignatius believes there is nothing unnatural about civilization and human creation. At what point does human action become unnecessary destruction?

It will often be easy to say “your actions should not hinder another’s freedom” but it won’t always be that simple.

What human characteristics if any will he find unnatural in addition to repression?

Would he be okay with destruction if it promotes his ideas of nature? Fire is a force of nature.

Ignatius believes that people have a nature and it must be followed. In reality, it is much harder to define humanity. During his adventure, will he keep the same belief about human nature? Will he even believe there is a human nature? What does he do if he comes to that conclusion?

Is there really any meaning in life for Ignatius? He believes it should be about instinct and expression, but will he find that really gives him meaning?

Appearance and Personality

Ignatius is a creature of instinct who loves to live in the moment. If there is a thrill to be found in front of him, he will do it (he isn’t stupid or evil he won’t do something if it’s likely to get him killed or cause serious damage to someone else). He loves beauty and extravagance and is therefore outgoing and flamboyant. Insults and not fitting in don’t bother him too much since he tends not to be attached to people because he sees it as inhibiting his freedom. Because he sees civilization as modest and repressed, he prefers to spend time in nature where the freedom makes him feel more human. He also sees nature as more human because it follows its instinct. When he can, he loves to visit ruins which he sees as a time when humans followed their nature.

Ignatius has an extravagant appearance that matches his personality. He has a long fire-red mohawk that flops over to the side hanging down near his jawline. He is covered in colorful tattoos mostly of birds like a quetzal, a peacock and various birds of paradise. His ears are adorned in piercings, mostly carved wooden piercings. If he found any jewelry from ruins he would wear those. He is adorned with whatever brightly colored clothing he can find but he keeps a grey cloak on hand if he needs to obscure himself.

He gave himself the name Ignatius because he thinks its flamboyant and it means fiery one which matches his personality.

Backstory

Ignatius was born Aelus to elven parents in the village of Flatmire. His parents’ long lives instilled them with a casual indifference to those around them which Aelus grew to hate as he found them antithetical to his natural love of life. As respected village elders, Aelus was expected to attend to his duties at home and in the village. Instead, Aelus preferred to explore the wilds where he felt he could truly be human. Flatmire held closely to tradition, eschewing art and innovation. Observing animals taught Aelus a better way of living: to be free and follow one’s instinct.

During his extended time in the jungle, he became close to a small family of trappers and befriended Tawny Jack who also held a deep reverence for nature. Together they were able to explore more of the jungle than before. A more reserved personality, Tawny encouraged Aelus’ flamboyant, ostentatious nature and he grew bolder with his philosophy. Aelus took the name Ignatius, a more fitting name to his personality, and began tattooing himself with elaborate, colorful birds. The village elders became increasingly uncomfortable with my presence leading to an explosive confrontation resulting in his exile. Tawny Jack decided to come with me and we headed toward the nearest rumored village of Eastcliff: Town.

One night during their journey, the hair stood up on the backs of their necks as they felt a malevolent presence approach. All the could see was the howling wind violently shake the surrounding trees whose form was obscured by a mirage. An encroaching pitch blackness that sucked in light as it came closer. They still do not know what it was but they swear it was a daemon and all the could do was run. Despite fleeing, the presence gained on them and right as it seemed to catch them, a strange light resembling a large bluish humanoid with elvish ears appeared and led them into a grove.

Upon reaching the grove, the evil presence immediately disappeared. Ignatius never heard the spirit the saved them speak but he could understand it as though it did. He knew the spirit’s name was Lightsong. Then, Lightsong touched him on the forehead and Ignatius saw visions of another place and time. He saw visions of people controlling the forces of nature and transforming into animals. The last vision was of himself surrounded by a small group of allies facing down the same presence that chased them. When the visions were gone the markings of a constellation appeared across his back. The spirit vanished and Ignatius saw a deep pristine pool of water. Behind the pool stood a large rainbow eucalyptus tree. At its base, a set of leather armor, a wooden shield, a scimitar named Tempest and a wood scepter made out of the same tree were spread out for him.

Tawny Jack and Ignatius made it to Eastcliff where they were welcomed. Some people have shown disapproval of Ignatius’ flamboyant appearance, others have been more accepting. Ignatius feels the same satisfaction in Eastcliffe and is eager for more adventure. Meanwhile he uses his skills as an herbalist to provide tonics and other healing remedies to Eastcliff. Ignatius became enamored with a beautiful statue in the center of Eastcliff. He loves to spend hours staring at it, remembering that expression, creativity and ingenuity of the highest forms of humanity.

Relationship with the The Envoy of The Forgotten [Organization]

Ignatius believes that what the Envoy’s holding back the demons is inherently good. He sees the daemons as evil because they feed off beauty and creativity preventing humans from living. He does not enjoy the Envoy’s ritual, but he understands it to be a necessary means to keeping the terror at bay. Were Ignatius to discover a way of keeping the terror at bay during the campaign that didn’t involve sacrificing “items of beauty” to the Envoy, he would do what he could to make that change. Because he believes the ritual is crucial to keeping the terror at bay, he spends time making beautiful carvings out of wood and paints to offer the Envoy which symbolizes offering up a piece of himself to protect people from the terror.

Alchemical Advancements

Story and Mystery

You have decided to follow Rial on a quest that may or may not be beneficial. Knowing full well that this quest may lead absolutely nowhere. Rial leads you south. Heading far past the lands you once ventured alone and with Tawny. Deep into the jungles which you now know are Yuan-ti territory.

Rial Crestling has been carrying around a pack of odd potions. Something seems to be off about all of them and it is unclear how they were made. Rial tells you he is tracking a man he believes to be a connection to the one he originally purchased the potions from.

You travel from small village to minor town, eventually coming upon a merchant who had acquired a similar pack of potions from a man headed for the now risen city of Goblorado. Rial purchased all of the potions from this man and you head towards the ancient city.

Weeks pass before you reach this metropolis of goblin kind. In this time you help Rial with his experiments. You discover through lots of trial and error that the potions Rial has found are made from the blood and essence of differing monsters. The green potions of healing appear to be primarily made of troll blood. Which gives you a full understanding of why you feel awful after drinking it…

Goblorado is nothing like you expected. It is thriving with activity and in the center of town is another one of those strange Obsidian Stones. You and Rial head to a local inn and wait. Rial tells you that you are waiting to hear something of importance. After hours of waiting and probably too many drinks, Rial stands and quickly heads for the door. Slow to follow you find Rial beating a hooded man in a back alley, a pack of potions on the ground next to him.

The merchant tells Rial he is part of a traveling merchant group he simply calls the brotherhood. An organization of seemingly benign merchants. Rial does manage to pilfer a book on potion making from the man. Rial looked at you for a few seconds, grabbed a hold of the man's neck, and snapped it with a satisfyingly quick crack. “That may not have been the way you wanted to handle that. I unfortunately cannot have someone like this knowing I am looking for them.”

He hands you the book and tells you to study it. “You may be able to find replacements for the monster blood and parts. I would start with the native plants and go from there.” With that Rial left the alley and disappeared into the crowd. You spend the following years studying this book. Eventually making your way back north towards home.

#Vigilante Gaming #world building #player characters #npc #dnd

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serpentsortias · 5 years

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what are some of your favorite drarry fics?

anon!! i have so many favs because this fandom is mad talented but! i tried to include ones that i never really see in fic recs (i made a few exceptions aha). someday i’ll have a proper list of recs but for now here’s just a few (as well as my thoughts):

All Must Draw Near by Saras_Girl

summary: Harry doesn’t have time for rumours; he has a shop to run. Which is just as well, really

thoughts: this is a really really cute advent fic that i really love! it features draco and harry as close friends who run a shop together and harry is painfully oblivious to the fact that he and draco are practically a couple already. also the original character introduced (and her furry friend) are great, i love it when fics introduce original characters that i end up loving.

you open always (petal by petal) by birdsofshore

summary: Harry’s not the kind of person who pays for sex. He really isn’t. Until he is.

thoughts: uh very different vibe from the last fic but really really good. i’m usually not one for these types of fics but i really enjoyed this one and harry’s obliviousness really hits hard in this one lmao. i also really liked the addition of grimmauld place’s house magic!

Draw a Line from Your Heart to Mine by CreateImagineWrite

summary: Being Harry Potter’s best friend isn’t always fame and beating off raving fans. It’s also the anxiety of hearing your best mate’s been cursed by another Dark Lord, or love potioned by some crazy woman. Or having his boyfriend you knew nothing about turn up on the Burrow’s doorstep. Crime/Mystery fic.

thoughts: ohh i love this fic so much. it’s told through ron’s pov which i really really love because of how his thoughts on draco change as the fic progresses. also that twist! a must read in my opinion

The Stars Above Us by 606, create_serenity

summary: It started as an innocent day out taking Teddy to visit the local observatory. Somehow it became so much more.

thoughts: i am a huge sucker for any story that features astronomy or a character working at an observatory so it was just the star on the tree to see draco working at one in this fic. also! teddy is in this fic! and i just adore fics that involve draco interacting with teddy.

Inter Vivos by lomonaaeren

summary: AU. The Parseltongue incident in second year caused a more violent explosion in Gryffindor House than anyone could have foreseen. Harry, trying to withdraw from everyone except his two best friends, finds himself helped by people he couldn’t have foreseen either, first Snape and then Draco Malfoy. Sometimes, all it takes is one sudden impulsive throwing of a stone for the ripples of change to spread through several lives.

thoughts: i really really love canon rewrites for this particular ship especially and this is one of my fav ones that i’ve read so far. i really love how it takes place over a series of dates and ahh little draco just wanting to be a part of a genuine harry potter adventure! it’s adorable, really

The Lesson of You by thecouchsofa

summary: Harry likes kids. That doesn’t mean he’s ready for a small boy to turn up on the doorstep of Grimmauld Place insisting that Harry is his father. That was weird enough, but the child identifying Draco Malfoy as his other parent was something Harry had no bloody idea how to handle.

thoughts: holy shit i LOVE this fic so much. i had been wanting to write a fic with this sort of premise for a while but my plans sorta fell through when i lost my notes (oops haha) but i found this fic which is just so so great! harry and draco’s relationship development is adorable and ahh little ollie is adorable with how he inadvertently teases both harry and draco haha

In Pieces by dysonrules

summary: Harry returns to Hogwarts as the new DADA instructor, only to find his teaching efforts thwarted by a very familiar ghost.

thoughts: not to expose me and my inherent belief in the eroticism of a ghost (im 99% joking) but this fic is fantastic. the longing was really tangible and i am happy to confirm that it ends happily!

Everything That Happens is From Now On by trishjames

summary: After surviving a brutal assault, Draco tries to navigate the tumultuous waters of his mind, and embrace a bit of love and trust in his life. After all, the smallest steps forward can begin to heal the most fractured of souls.

thoughts: as you can tell from the summary, please read the tags and author’s notes before reading! i usually avoid fics of this subject matter but this one was really well done and draco’s process of moving on from the incident is written so well in wonderful, subtle ways that are just Clear to the reader and i really appreciate that

The Art of Our Necessities by dcfg21

summary: After being Turned by a vampire, Harry descends into reckless and dangerous behavior. The Ministry and the Vampire Council devise a way to keep the former Savior on a leash, and his fangs to himself, by forcing him to take a Consort.

thoughts: ohhh this fic is good and features a really jaded harry after the war as well as a draco who’s mostly there out of convenience for himself but it develops into something much more. i rarely ever see vampire!harry fics which is something i’ve a bit of a weakness for if i’m being honest

the strength to stay by violetclarity

summary: Draco and Harry are the best Senior Aurors in the DMLE, which is why they’re working the case about Wings – a dangerous new potion that sends users into a dreamscape from which they may never return. When Harry is kidnapped by the group behind Wings, Draco takes it upon himself to go after him, and is forced to confront the reality of Harry’s feelings for him, which he’s been ignoring for years.

thoughts: this fic features chubby draco which is ahhh something i never see in drarry fics. it really hurts to see how draco views himself and i think it’s a very relatable feeling to be so self-deprecating that even in the face of obvious interest, you still feel as though it isn’t possible for someone to feel that way for you. this story is also part of a series from the author so go give that a read as well!

#ok so this got a bit long but #this isnt even anywhere near the length of an ACTUAL rec list that i wanna do #anyway here's to tonnes of tags -->#drarry #hp #harry potter #draco malfoy #drarry recs #drarry fic recs #mine #fic recs #asks #hpdm #harco #draco x harry #also i have no idea why the formatting is like this help me

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hellzyeahwebwielingessays · 4 years

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Super Heroes ARE NOT INHERENTLY a Conservative power fantasy

Master Post

I don’t really agree superheroes are inherently a Conservative power fantasy nor that they simplistically preach law and order and justice are necessary for a happy ending.

After all Superman was fighting corrupt politicians in his very first appearance. The X-Men are institutionally persecuted often by government forces. Stan Lee did an entire story arc in refutation to Law and Order politics in the early 1970s.

Yeah, they hit people to save the day but like...I honestly think that’s far more of a human power fantasy than something of any specific ideology. There have been examples of mythic and folklore figures doing that since forever. The broad appeal of those types of characters throughout history and across political ideologies speaks to how it’s not inherently a political power fantasy of one type or another.

I know someone who is incredibly Liberal and has himself and people he’s known been persecuted by the police and he’s outspoken against such institutional persecution. He loves Daredevil and more poignantly the Punisher, a character outright adored by the police themselves but who is near universally framed (even within his own stories) as not a good person and someone you shouldn’t aspire to be like. This was even the case in his debut in Daredevil season 2 where it was made explicit that he is self-destructive.

Obviously my friend would be disgusted by the Punisher in real life, as would we all (I’d hope). But the fantasy is still unto itself appealing despite it conflicting with his ideologies. Hence super heroes are not a power fantasy rooted in a specific political ideology. Now sure that is one anecdotal piece of evidence. But the Punisher is clearly very, very popular and the degree to which he is popular (especially in the 1990s) wouldn’t really add up if his fanbase were predominantly Conservatively leaning people with the occasional Liberal exception.

He’s very obviously a character people of either leaning or in-between enjoy and was after all created by an outspoken young Liberal in Gerry Conway. Batman too is often perceived as very conservative. But he is the most popular superhero ever so he obviously appeals across political ideologies. After all, the two most defining Batman writers (after Bill Finger) were the incredibly Conservative Frank Miller and the incredibly Liberal Denny O’Neil.

I also don’t think super heroes are analogous to stand your ground myths. For starters, super heroes are not enshrined by the law. The closest comparison you could draw is if you encountered a clear cut crime in progress and intervened non-lethally somehow. E.g. that scene in Spider-Man 2 where Peter Parker walks away from a mugging in progress, but for the purposes of what I’m saying actually tried to intervene.

I once received counterpoints to the above view that went something like this:

You are extrapolating specifically European myth created by white males and applying it to all humans. African myths are different. Native American myths are different. Asian myths are different. You’re making my point that comics are a dominant conservative culture - specifically white male - fantasy, not refuting it.

Actually I wasn’t. There examples of such figures in Eastern myths too such as Sun Wukong. Son Goku is a 1980s manga character based first and foremost upon him (and Jackie Chan) and is a veritable institution in Japan. There is a vast crossover between fans of him and fans of other superhero characters despite him not being directly based upon any of them, having distinctly Eastern cultural influences and also not being a crime fighter in the traditional sense.

Goku in truth is probably more comparable to figures like Theseus in spite of not being based or influenced by him. African myths and European myths may be different but most cultures involve figures who have beyond human abilities and among those figures those who engage in actions that, within the values of those cultures, are regarded as good. All human beings are innately attracted to stories that in one shape or form present them as physically more powerful than they are, a by-product of more innate survival instincts. On our absolute most deepest levels we are animals and because of this the fantasy of being stronger, faster, less vulnerable to injury or malnutrition and/or having the ability to defend our homes/territories/family units (which in superhero comics is usually extended to the general population of a native city) is incredibly potent and attractive.

The counter pointer continued:

“It’s not a female fantasy. Women tell very different myths, most of them lost because men wrote down the stories. The romance genre is dominated by female writers because those are the stories women are drawn to tell.”

Given the vast plethora of female fans of the genre from 1938-now I really do not see how we can honestly say this is a genre that is particular to the power fantasy of one gender or another. Wonder Woman was after all a distinctly female power fantasy created with a lot of input from two women very much ahead of their time.

But going into another culture Sailor Moon (and her predecessor Sailor V, who was more of a traditional crime fighter) was arguably even more of a female power fantasy. She was the singular vision of a female mangaka who was aiming at a young female audience and was very specifically creating a female power fantasy. In both cases they are people with secret identities who engage in physical violence to varying degrees against very clearly coded evil individuals who pose direct threats to innocent lives.

Now about the gun debate? Well, most superheroes use guns?

But for the sake of argument let’s extent ‘guns’ to mean stuff like:

Ray guns

Web-shooters

Firing concussive energy blasts, like Cyclops’ optic blasts

Any kind of projectile

Well, even if you define guns like that, the majority of superheroes’ weapons are non-lethal whereas guns are designed specifically to kill. Yeah you can wound or incapacitate but gun wounds can still be lethal or crippling. Plus you could in theory kill someone with a net but that wasn’t what it was designed to do.

Things get iffy if we count biological weaponry, like in Cyclops’ case. Whilst his super power is literally having a powerful gun for his eyes, it’s also part of who he is and he’s got no choice in that. This changes the context drastically from someone who owns a gun and seeks to use it.

In Cyclops’ case he’s forced to own that weapon and it’s an immense burden upon him . It curtails his ability to have physical and emotional intimacy with others the way anyone else would. I anything I’s more analogous to a disability. So it isn’t like this is a wonderful fantasy about how cool it’d be to own a big gun without the burden of choosing to own it in the first place

That doesn’t even make sense considering the real issue regarding American gun laws ultimately isn’t about people merely owning guns but how they use them upon owning them. Cyclops still has to choose how to use his biological ‘big gun’ even if he didn’t get a choice in owning it one way or the other. It’s also a poor analogy considering Cyclops’ ‘Big Gun’ doesn’t even work properly due to a disability he has.

In fact, it’s posited superheroes are needed, especially vigilante heroes like Spider-Man who take law enforcement into their own hands despite being outside the law enforcement establishment, because the Marvel U is a dangerous, violent place. This is very similar to arguments used by conservative gun advocates in the US: we need guns to protect ourselves because our institutions can’t. Moving on let’s talk about the severity of crime. Is it not a Conservative power fantasy that the world of Marvel and DC comics is a dangerous and violent place? And therefore vigilantes who take the law into their own hands are needed?

That’s kind of similar to what Conservative gun advocates argue isn’t it? Guns are needed to protect one’s self.

Well for starters, the nature of the severity of crime is questionable in most Marvel or DC comics sans like Batman. It is made clear that superheroes absolutely do good but at the same time it wasn’t presented as though there was such a massive crime problem that say Marvel New York would’ve fallen apart without them.

That is exempting of course super villains.

Super villains however are cut from the same fantasy cloth as the heroes so how much to they really count towards representing real life concerns over crime anyway? They were after all literally created as a means to challenge the heroes. Action Comics #1 for example didn’t have any super villains.

Similarly modern interpretations of Batman do not seek to present the world or urban landscapes in general as inherently so riddled with dangerous crime that it necessitates Batman. They make it clear that Gotham is this extreme exception as opposed to the rule. Greg Rucka once spoke about this in an old documentary (for I think the History channel).The idea is that Gotham is exceptionally bad thus they need Batman.

In most versions of Superman post-1987 Lex Luthor has such a stranglehold on Metropolis that it needs Superman. And in Golden Age versions of Superman he was presented as just tackling general urban crime that existed amidst the Great Depression, most of which stemmed from organized crime or corrupt political figures. But it wasn’t as though Metropolis was on the brink if not for Superman’s intervention.

Really the levels of crime and such that exist in superhero stories exist purely to justify a superhero being a crime fighter in the first place; it’s a practicality issue not an ideological one. I think this is different to say police TV shows or films that present characters who allegedly exist in the real world, who represent real world police officers who do a real world job that involves them interacting with allegedly real world threat levels. In a superhero story, of course t here is more crime that actually exists in the real world but I don’t think anyone making the stories ever honestly thought otherwise or paid much thought to it one way or the other. It was just a means to an end of challenging the protagonists.

Okay, but how about the fact that heroes rarely (if ever) calling for gun control or gun bans? Surely that is a Conservative.

Well no not really. Again, it’s not really an ideologically driven factor in super hero stories. It’s more akin to how superhero comic books just do not touch for example the issue of abortion or how they rarely make it truly explicit what political leanings a character has one way or the other.*

John Byrne when discussing his iconic Superman run stated he felt the character was a card carrying Republican, but to the best of my knowledge no Superman comic before or since has ever come out and said that. No Punisher story to my knowledge has ever stated Punisher is a Conservative in spite of the fact that he obviously is. No Spider-Man story has stated Spider-Man is a Liberal/left leaning moderate. And yet he has been depicted that way in most stories and it’d just be incredibly likely given his age, where he lives and his family background. I don’t even know if any Captain America story has stated clearly and without question that Cap would obviously vote for the Democrats 100% of the time out of the two major parties, even though he was explicitly Liberal from the very first piece of artwork depicting him. In ne of Bucky’s early adventures as Captain America though he simultaneously protected Democrat and Republican politicians.

So whilst superhero comics do not involve characters calling for the abolition of guns 99% of the time, that’s less because they are or are not a Conservative power fantasy and more because the companies do not want to touch what they at least perceive as an incredibly volatile issue.

If the gun debate in America (which to me shouldn’t even be a debate, just get rid of them) ever moves to a place where there is virtually nobody opposing the abolition of guns most superheroes would absolutely be depicted in support of that.

To strip back everything I’m saying, super heroes are intended more on, and consumed more on, a symbolic level than something in line with a particular ideology.

They are vigilantes who fight crime. But it’s understood that the crime is in the story simply because it is universally understood as ‘a bad thing’ that can cause harm and damage. The superhero is you. You being a vigilante symbolises how you have to on an individual level deal with a problem, the ‘bad thing’.

And the super powers are the catharsis of how much easier it would be to deal with the ‘bad thing’ if you were more than what you are.

I don’t agree with 100% of this, but this video (which is interesting unto itself) touches upon this idea around the 15:30 mark.

youtube

It’s not as though a Liberal enjoys the genre for the escapism or the perverse indulgence in politics they wouldn’t agree with whilst a Conservative just loves it’s reaffirmation of their beliefs.

They love it for the same reasons and those are usually rooted in the human elements of the characters alongside the power fantasy. Which is why I maintain there is an innate human appeal to the genre regardless of what perspective you come at it from.

I mean Jesus, if we are really going to argue that superheroes are a Western Conservative power fantasy why have countries with anti-Western values, countries that American Conservatives are heavily in opposition to, devoured the genre on film?

Why is the MCU outright beloved in China?

Why have they tried to create their own super heroes in a similar vein?

Because these characters are not a Conservative, or a white, or a male power fantasy. They are just a human power fantasy.

*And contrary to what people who are hardline on one ideology or another think, not opposing an issue isn’t tantamount to supporting it. Neutrality exists. If you support abortion that’s Liberal stance on the issue. If you oppose gun control that’s a Conservative stance on that issue. If you do not care about them one way or another you ware not expressing a Liberal or Conservative view point.

The whole ‘With us or against us’ viewpoint is absolutely myopic and overly simplistic. By this logic America was supportive of Hitler before they joined the Allies in WWII. But they were also supportive of the Allies because they weren’t supporting the Axis powers either.

Neutrality can exist.

#MCU #marvel cinematic universe #Marvel #Marvel Comics #DC #DC Comics #Superman #Batman #John Byrne #Cyclops #Scott Summers #X-Men #Bruce Wayne #Clark Kent #Frank Miller #Denny O'Neil

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jereviendrai · 4 years

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||| ooc; does every character on this blog have bpd symptoms? is this problematic, considering they’re all villains or would-be villains? is there a way to give a villain a mental health disorder without stigmatizing the disorder? well--

OH AND BIG TRIGGER WARNING FOR A WIDE RANGE OF MENTAL HEALTH TOPICS SUCH AS: eating disorders, mental illness, stigmatization of mental illness, self harm, suicidal tendencies, and a fuckload more. I don’t go into detail. There are just mentions. I’m not gonna say a bunch of graphic shit, I promise! If I went into graphic detail, this would turn into a PhD thesis proposal, and that’d be WAY too long to be worth writing. Also I have BPD, but I’m not going to pretend that I’m an expert on the subject. I’m not. My word is not law, but it’d be nice if my word was taken into consideration.

this post got so fucking long and disorganized jesus christ

The answers are: yes, not inherently, and absolutely.

I want to get into the mental health of all three characters in a second, but I think it’s important to talk a little about the other two points first. That said, though -- yes, they’re all borderline. All three of them! And they all experience it differently! I will come back to that. Anyway--

I feel like it’s important to talk about villains, mental illness and stigma. There’s a really common (and insanely lazy) tendency for writers to explain a villain’s villainy by simply saying, “oh, well they’re a psychopath,” or, “they’re just crazy.” This is not only lazy and offensive, but it contributes to an unfair stigma against the mentally ill.

Mental illness might, say, compel someone to steal a chocolate bar or snap at someone out of anger. It might make a person’s emotions volatile. It might make someone unreasonable. They might suffer delusions of abandonment, of some plot against them, of people’s secret intent to humiliate them, etc. They might suffer and handle their suffering poorly. They may cause harm. But that doesn’t make them... evil. It makes them complex. And how they react to and handle their negative actions says more about them than any diagnosis could.

When you have a villain with a mental illness, you need to examine how the illness is hurting them. Write about how it hinders their progress. Write about how isolating it can be for them. Write about the impact and struggle. Not how the illness makes them so evil or so irredeemably awful. The illness should be what humanizes them and helps to make them relatable. No matter how untouchable and powerful your villain is, they have some personal struggle that is independent of their villainy. When done correctly, it can go a long way in fleshing out your villain and adding interesting inner conflict!

I know, I know. You might be asking, “yeah, but don’t people with mental health issues sometimes cause harm directly related to their symptoms?” To which I say: yeah, duh, of course. Just like a depressed person might say something mean when they’re having a bad day. Just like someone with ADHD might make someone feel like they aren’t being listened to. Just like someone who has social anxiety might make a friend feel unloved. Just like mentally healthy people also occasionally cause harm.

I’m not saying mental health issues don’t cause problems and maladaptive behaviors. I’m just saying it doesn’t... make someone inherently bad -- real or fictional. And I need people to internalize that.

ANYWAY ON TO THE CHARACTERS AND THEIR BPD

(i know, you’re probably like, “dude oh my god shut up and get on with it” sakjlfdkjsa)

I’m going to be referring to the four subtypes. I know these are controversial to some people. Some really don’t like these labels, others feel comforted by them, etc. They’re just to make it easier to talk about this whole thing. No one fits neatly into any one subtype! Some people don’t resemble any particular one! Everyone is different! Don’t box people into these subtypes if you haven’t been given consent, thanks!

Mr. A / Clark Donovan Mr. A is a classic example of the Quiet Borderline. Someone with quiet BPD mostly directs their symptoms inward. It’s harder to detect than other types, as the symptoms that are most prevalent are mostly expressed, well, inwardly. Self-esteem issues, self-blame, insecurity, withdrawing emotionally, pretending you’re not angry when you are, self harming tendencies, suicidal thoughts, etc. He’s also kind of clingy. Mr. A is an extremely loyal person to a fault. He is a people pleaser and will go to the ends of the Earth to make his loved ones happy, even if it hurts him. This is of detriment to him, as he often finds himself getting hurt on behalf of people who might not care as much as he does. He’s let a lot of bad people into his life solely because they made him feel loved, wanted and useful. He views everyone he loves through rose-tinted glasses and only takes them off long after he’s been laid to waste by them. He has terrible issues with self-image and has thus developed an eating disorder. He also has severe depersonalization/derealization disorder, which is a result of how his mental health interacts with his reality-warping powers. It creates a lot of anxiety with him, watching himself phase through things and bend the world around him on a whim. His motivations in life are connected to this, but his motivation to do evil things is not. He wants to bring other superpowered people together as a united front against humanity, as he feels that humanity is a threat to their continued existence. This has nothing to do with his mental health issues. The part of it that does tie in is that he’s painfully lonely and has chronic feelings of boredom, so being surrounded with a shit ton of different people mitigates that. It’s a motive for him bringing people closer to him, but it is not a motive for him to launch an attack on all humanity. He’d be really offended if you tried to accuse him of doing this on the basis that he’s just a bit ill. His illness literally just makes him crave contact with other living beings just like him. He sometimes does bad or stupid things because of this, but it literally has nothing to do with his motives as a villain. As an addendum of sorts, Mr. A’s alias and reluctance to use his given name (Clark Donovan) are a result of identity issues he suffers due to his BPD. He finds it hard to maintain a stable sense of identity, so he just... doesn’t.

Ivan Chanteur Ivan closely resembles what we like to call an Impulsive Borderline, comorbid with ADHD. He is an impulsive person, as the name of the subtype suggests. He’s a thrill-seeker who suffers from extreme levels of chronic boredom, which he desperately tries to combat by any means necessary. Staying still and doing repetitive tasks is literal torture for him. If he cannot get up and move and do whatever it takes to keep himself feeling fulfilled and occupied, he is probably going to fucking lose it. When he is actively vocalizing his boredom on a regular basis, this means the chronic feelings of boredom have reached critical mass. It’s not just boredom. It’s anxiety, it’s agitation, it’s existential dread, it’s an inability to focus, it’s pent-up energy that needs to go somewhere and can’t just stay in him anymore. If he can’t get it out in healthy ways, he usually resorts to self-harm or less-than-healthy pursuits. He’s been known to dabble in drugs, self-harm, occasional promiscuity on a bad night. While therapy’s helped him get a handle on it, there’ve been a lot of stressful and traumatic things going on in his life have have made it a lot harder to keep himself in check. Ivan is pretty charismatic, able to cast a wide net and catch all sorts of people in his social web. He has a sort of natural magnetism that, on a superficial level, should make him quite popular. But underneath it all, he has difficulty trusting people long enough to actually let them into his life. He’ll act like an open book, only to slam himself shut and reshelve himself before anyone can get anywhere near the end. He’s easy to befriend, but difficult to get close to. This has caused him to feel lonely and frustrated. He wishes he could easily form deep connections, but it’s hard and it hurts him. In addition to all of this, he engages in a wide variety of attention-seeking and risk-taking behaviors. He often spends time with people who are not good to him, simply for the thrill of it. This has often gotten him hurt, but he finds it hard to cut this habit in spite of everything. This leads to a lot of frustration and self-hatred, as it makes it hard for him to protect himself. Every time someone hurts or betrays him, he beats himself up over it and tells himself he should know better by now. All that said, though, he’s come a long way in therapy. He’s not quite able to keep a handle on all of it all the time, but he’s managed to secure one or two decently stable friendships along the way.

Eve Laurier Eve is particularly difficult to talk about, but I’m going to try my best. Eve is what happens when you make a conscious decision to be bad. He knows beyond a shadow of doubt that what he’s doing is wrong, but he feels so wronged by the world that he just cannot seem to motivate himself to care. This... again... has nothing to do with his BPD. If anything, it’s his struggles with this disorder that keep him at least somewhat... grounded in reality. Eve suffered a personal tragedy -- the loss of his twin sister in a housefire. Though ruled an accident, he cried foul play. Consumed with grief at the loss of the only person he felt could truly understand him, he vowed to find the culprit and make them pay. This set him down a path of vengeance that would make John Wick blush. Eve grew up as the heir to his family’s criminal enterprise. This put him in a position of power the very moment he was born. This also left him exposed to a lot of terrible, violent crimes from a very young age. Because this was normalized by his family, he internalized and compartmentalized any misgivings he had about violence. By the time he was ready for university, he had been thoroughly trained to carry out hitjobs on behalf of the family. He was a weapon from the moment he left the womb. He was groomed to do terrible things, and it’s because of this ongoing and continuous trauma that he developed his particular cocktail of mental health issues. He mostly fits in with the label of Petulant BPD. Repeated and violent trauma did a number on him, leaving him angry and hurt over what his parents let him fall victim to. He also experiences feelings of self-loathing over the part he feels he played in his own trauma, despite the fact that it started in early childhood. He is self-defeating and self-blaming. He has a difficult time expressing his feelings and has angry outbursts fairly regularly, often resulting in self-harm and suicidal ideation. He’s been known to reach for the nearest mind-altering substance just to get out of his head for a bit. His mood swings are intense and leave him feeling fatigued and anxious. He has severe social anxiety that sometimes manifests as cold indifference. He also has issues with control, has paranoid delusions about the people in his life and doesn’t often believe it when people say that they care for him. He will find any and every piece of evidence that points to the contrary, even if he has to make it up himself. This usually ensures that he’ll end up alone again. He doesn’t have very many close relationships, if any at all. His BPD is not the reason he hurts people. Any hurt caused by his BPD is directed at himself, not at others. His BPD is a direct result of what actually has primed him to hurt people. It’s a direct result of trauma. He’s traumatized. And no, trauma is no excuse for what he’s done -- but his BPD didn’t make him kidnap and torture Ivan while he waited for Ivan’s parents to send in the ransom. That was all Eve. That was his conscious decision to make, in spite of everything in his head telling him how awful and wrong he would be to do such a thing. He knew it was wrong and ignored it, as he was under the impression that Ivan’s family had a hand in his sister’s death. If anything, his BPD aggravates his feelings of shame and self-loathing when he does precisely what his parents had been training him to do his whole life.

Anyway-- I hope this was helpful or at least interesting.

The point I’m trying to make here is that mental illness isn’t some kind of ultimate litmus test of good and evil. A disorder doesn’t make you good or bad. It’s just another facet of who you are.

So... to that end... please for the love of fuck stop using personality disorders as the reason for someone’s villainy. Please. I am begging.

I wrote a bunch of BPD villains in various stages of villainhood because I have BPD and this disorder often makes you feel like you’re evil, a monster, etc. Honestly, on good days I feel like an inherently bad person who consciously chooses to do good. That’s very flawed and I know that logically I’m not inherently bad, but that’s kind of what stigma does. It makes you feel like you’re inherently bad. And that feeling influenced how I write all three of these characters.

This is an incoherent mess but today’s the day I find out if I have coronavirus and I’m so fucking stressed out and hopped up on DayQuil. Thanks for reading any of this, I guess?

#||| ooc;#||| canon; ivan chanteur #||| canon; mr. a #||| canon; eve laurier #||| canon;#PLEASE READ THIS I SPENT SO MUCH TIME #I LITERALLY SPENT HOURS ON THIS FOR NO REASON AKLJFJSAJDLKSKJDKSL #i'm listening to 'the spider' by weezer and it's a fucking mood right now #fucking christ ok tumblr lags so goddamn much when i open this in my drafts so i need to post this now #also yeah i guess this is me telling the world i have a personality disorder hi surprise i'm Messy and Traumatized who knew haha

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ephemeral-afterlight · 5 years

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a personal analysis of deceit, deception, lying, and morality: an essay that’s literally almost 4k words for no reason other than that i like to make my sentences as obnoxiously long as possible

i just want to preface this post by saying i’ve been working on this for a little while, and then it got deleted, so i had to start all over. it is a huge weight off my shoulders finally getting this posted.

PLEASE please please take heed of the trigger warning: if you are triggered by talk of domestic violence, abuse, or alcoholism, do be wary of this post. i go somewhat into depth about my experience with abusers, and there are quick mentions of things such as strangulation, so this post is not intended to be light-hearted or funny. this post is serious, and very important to me, enough to want to post it, so please proceed with caution if you feel like you may be uncomfortable reading about these things. the rest is under the cut, so make sure to read the tags to know if this one is a skip for you! now, onto the analysis!

first off, i’d like to say that i personally don’t jibe with using “redeem” or “redemption arc” in reference to deceit, because that implies that dee has done something that needs to be redeemed, and he hasn’t. a redemption arc is used to right a wrong, if you will, and dee hasn’t done anything that can be classified as a wrong, at least nothing more than the other sides have also done (such as passive-aggressive teasing).

in my opinion, some fanders’ perception of deceit and “the dark sides” is somewhat skewed. there seems to be this overarching theme and/or agreement that they’re all bad and/or evil purely for being either 1. stuck with their purpose (that they didn’t exactly choose—it’s quite literally their job. who’s to say that dee likes lying, or remus necessarily enjoys his intrusive thoughts despite having the heavy and frequent impulses to act on them? they can’t easily control their dishonesty and impulsivity respectively, after all, but feel free to discard that notion if it’s too hypothetical for you) or 2. labeled as a “dark side”.

as for the latter, the name is purely something roman made up to further separate the two groups, but imo it’s quite easy to separate each side into a “moral group” based on their actions and behaviour at the time that is very different from the one roman (and the others by proxy, given that they go along with it’s usage) has imposed upon everyone, so that shouldn’t be used as an unchallengeable metric to determine which sides are either purely good or purely bad; everyone has their strengths and their flaws, and you could argue some more than others, but that is also subjective to one’s own perception of each side’s behaviour. pure good and pure bad just… doesn’t exist.

now, onto deceit. something i’ve noticed when briefly delving into sympathetic/unsympathetic dee discourse is that most people who say that dee is interminably bad/evil usually bring up the fact that dee lies as their main point; he lies, and lying is bad, so therefore he’s bad, which in my opinion is a woefully simplistic view of the sides and the world in general. i think a lot of fanders and people in general don’t realize that lying is not the only form of deceit, and you don’t necessarily need to lie to deceive someone. to deceive someone, by definition, is to lead them to a conclusion that is not true or not comprehensive of the truth, and that’s where it starts to get a bit muddled. by definition, deceit typically implies that the conclusion you’re leading someone to is a lie, but that’s not necessarily always the case; colloquially, deceit is much more than that, and it doesn’t just mean falsifying the truth, it also means concealment of the truth, which i don’t think is talked about near enough in these discussions. deceit’s main function isn’t necessarily to get thomas to always lie, but rather to cause someone else to draw a specific conclusion about something using any means possible. so while yes, deceit can often involve lying, the main purpose is to cause someone to draw an intended conclusion; the means to get there are not inherent, which is why reducing deceit’s purpose down to “just lying” is somewhat ignorant (i don’t mean that in a hostile way or to offend, i mean it in the basic sense of the word), and doing him a great injustice.

the discussion of whether lying is good or bad is an extremely difficult one, and a lot of arguments from either “purist” side of the spectrum are already out there, so i don’t really feel the need to go in-depth with that aspect of it. for this, i’ll just go with my own experiences and perspectives, to sort of bolster my main point about deceit and his purpose and how he should be treated, as opposed to how he’s being treated now.

now, in my experience, lying is not an inherently bad thing, nor should it be completely disregarded and viewed as something that makes you a terrible person. in fact, for me, lying has been mandatory, and something that quite literally meant the difference between potentially getting hurt or even dying. i know a lot of people haven’t had to deal with extremely volatile situations or grow up with abusive people around them, so let me explain this as clearly as possible: when you’re dealing with an abuser, in almost every instance the best thing to do is lie or be as submissive as possible to diffuse the situation and avoid being hurt. i know it doesn’t sound ideal, but especially when dealing with someone who has very manic, spastic mood changes or are severely alcoholic, making sure the situation stays de-escalated can quite literally save your life. lying to reassure the abuser and placate them is one of the safest and most efficient ways to prevent them from getting angrier or lashing out. in a lot of these cases, you also lie to stop an outburst or argument before it even starts, because once an abuser gets set off, there is little to nothing you can do to stop their chaotic rampage; they will try to destroy everything in their way, and that includes you.

domestic violence is something i’ve had to struggle with seeing from the sidelines and up close on an endless assembly line of abusive, toxic, manipulative users all my life, and although my mother tried her best to keep me away from it, there were times where i couldn’t stay out of it. there were times i’d get into arguments with the one i consider the worst of the bunch (let’s call him j), and those arguments ranged from me hatefully antagonizing him in response to his alcoholism and terrible decisions to screaming matches in which i genuinely feared for my life. i was an idiot, and i’m lucky that he was never stupid enough to try to hurt me physically. but the common denominator in this was that once i learned to shut up and remove myself from the situation, the arguments lessened in frequency for a while. whenever i sensed that j was irritated (he was irritated when he was drunk, and he was always drunk), i would hide things. if i had to lie, i would. if i had to lead the conversation away from what he was angry about, i would. if i had to stow away in my locked bedroom until he passed out, i would. because that was all i could do. and when i didn’t do that, j got angry. and violent. near the end, in one of the worst arguments we had ever had because my mom didn’t lie well enough or misdirect his focus, he blasted loud music (to purposely spike my anxiety), pounded on my locked bedroom door where my mom and i were hiding from him until the frame cracked, and he smashed a bunch of lightbulbs in front of the doorway in a drunken attempt to keep us from leaving. he snapped, because my mom wasn’t successful in deceiving him, misdirecting him to diffuse the situation. i found out later that on the last day she ever saw him, they had yet another an argument about something. j flipped from normal to hateful and vicious like a light switch, and he tried to strangle her. my mother could have almost died because she couldn’t diffuse the situation. because she couldn’t deceive him.

i know this is a heavy example to use, and it’s hard to read for me even now, but i can’t be satisfied with myself without putting my and so many others’ reasonings for lying in this post. lying isn’t always to pull yourself up at the expense of others. sometimes it’s to save your life, and i heavily empathize with people who are unfortunate enough to have to do so. you are strong, and you will get through it, and it’s okay to do whatever you have to do to keep yourself safe. even if it means lying or fighting back.

that was long, and i know i went off on a bit of a tangent, but my point is that lying isn’t always used in selfish ways, and even when it is, it doesn’t mean those selfish intentions are always necessarily bad or wrong or immoral. self-preservation is not inherently immoral. it is a basic human instinct to keep yourself out of danger, to excel and succeed, and to live the best and safest life you can.

i personally am very neutral on where i stand with how often you employ usage of deceitful means to get what you need. while yes, i do believe that lying should not always be used in every situation/altercation nor be used to always get what you want at the expense of others, i also think that lying is an essential part of a human being’s survival, and it deeply troubles me that it has become a necessary tool to keep yourself safe in the modern age. and while i did it in a roundabout way, this brings me back to my overarching point: deceit is not inherently bad or wrong or evil for wanting thomas to deceive people to help himself, it’s just the matter of regulating him that needs to be addressed and changed. this can be made very abundantly clear with virgil and how he fits into this whole narrative.

virgil and deceit are different in what exactly they want for thomas, but i don’t think they’re different at all in terms of their intentions. while virgil wants to keep thomas alert to danger and his control of the fight or flight reflex is testament to how thomas impulsively handles those situations, with logan’s influence, that impulsive reaction is tampered down, leaving virgil as almost an alarm system. he identifies problems and possible dangers, and then suggests a way to subvert said dangers (whether those suggestions are viable options or not). deceit, on the other hand, is who comes out when thomas decides to confront that danger. he’s thomas’ filter in every sense of the word, and therefore is an important variable when thomas is met with a potentially dangerous situation that can only be resolved verbally (and whether lying is employed or not is subjective to the situation). he is also needed in less intense ways, such as not letting every single thought that pops into thomas’ head get said aloud (remus would have a fucking field day with that one), which also brings us back to keeping yourself safe from volatile people and dangerous situations. you can’t always be completely honest and transparent with them, because that can set them off, and then they can hurt you.

in less dangerous matters, such as the wedding/callback scenario, deceit truly believes that he’s doing what’s best for thomas. (i agree that the callback is the obvious choice here, but that’s a whole other essay.) while yes, it could be argued that deceit wants thomas to gain at the expense of others, i’d counter that by positing that that’s not the point of the whole dilemma. deceit believes that doing something that would hurt you just to placate others and strictly adhere to your overbearing sense of morality is a terrible, harmful choice. it was acknowledged and brought up multiple times that it’s not just that thomas doesn’t want to go to the wedding, it’s also that he would hurt himself by doing so, and deceit doesn’t want thomas to do something that would cause an “increase in depression” because it harms thomas.

yes, deceit wants thomas to lie to get out of it, but you could also bring up the point that deceit is actually being kind by doing so. he’s sticking with what he believes is the right thing to do, and suggesting a means to do it in a way that would spare mary lee and lee the potential disappointment or hurt of thomas choosing the callback instead. after all, “what you don’t know can’t hurt you.” and yes, while logan is right, knowledge is extremely important and you should always strive to remedy your own ignorance, that doesn’t mean you’re always ready for that information, or that it’s safe for you to know such things, especially when they’re deeply embedded in a highly emotional and impulsive reaction.

you can debate whether it’s better for mary lee and lee to know the real reason why thomas wouldn’t be going to the wedding or not, but it still doesn’t change the fact that going to the wedding would not only harm thomas mentally and emotionally, it could also cost him a huge opportunity to better his life and reach new heights, and they would understand that. if mary lee and lee are as good of friends as patton says they are, they would not prioritize their wants over thomas’ needs. and that, folks, is the big misconception that i feel a lot of people don’t address—it’s not just about thomas wanting to go to the callback, it’s that he needs to, to prevent a worsening mental state or bad emotional reaction. any good friend would never force someone they care about to do something that would hurt them, no matter how much you want them to do said thing. this is where patton is going severely wrong right now; like i’ve said a million times before, patton is holding thomas to an impossibly high standard of purity and perfection and selflessness, and it’s the most harmful thing to thomas right now. just as extreme selfishness isn’t good, extreme selflessness isn’t good either.

that was another tangent, but i’d like to get back to virgil. now, i do agree that virgil’s arc is different from deceit’s, but in different ways, and they’re far more similar than i think some people realize. virgil’s arc was all about being viewed as a terrifying villain, the monster in the closet, the one who weighs you down and prevents you from moving forward. he was viewed as wrong and bad purely for his purpose, and ostracized because of it. he was treated badly by the others, not listened to, and disregarded. he was misunderstood, and forced into a box, so he lashed out in fear. the only way to get them to listen to him was to be scary, to force their attention just long enough to get his point across. and when they others finally realized how much he actually did for thomas and how important he is, they learned to work with him, and virgil learned to work with them.

referencing the yerkes-dodson curve, and even to basic concepts such as yin & yang, everything has to exist in a balance, and having something too much or too little can and almost certainly will be detrimental to the thing it affects. in this case, virgil can be over the top and scary and irrational at times, but his input is sorely needed, and an important tool to keep thomas safe and alert to potential dangers around him. with the help of the others, especially logan, they can sift through any of virgil’s more extreme reactions and lay out the condensed version that has the information and perspective they need without a lot of the panicky and overbearing aspects that can come with overwhelming anxiety. they found a balance, a way to work with each other, and the result settled a certain disquiet in thomas. it bettered him as a person to accept his anxiety and listen to what it has to say rather than push it away and suppress it.

now, look at deceit. he’s portrayed as a scary villain, the ghost underneath the sheet. he’s the mysterious sinister force that controls the flow of information from thomas’ subconsciousness to his consciousness, and therefore holds power. he’s being treated as a bad, dark part of thomas purely for his purpose, and has been separated on the other side of the “black and white” line between morality and immorality, pushed away from the others and from thomas. they’re constantly antagonistic and hostile towards him, doubly so in virgil’s case (which is where a lot of the hypocrisy comes out that i can’t ignore, because virgil treats deceit exactly how the others sides treated him before he was accepted, and virgil obviously hated being treated like that, so why in the world does he think it’s okay to do it to deceit?), and they disregard his opinions and very valid points backed up by painstakingly thought-out arguments (that i have a feeling deceit took a lot of time strengthening so that he could convince thomas to do what he thinks is right and to show them that he’s not trying to hurt thomas, he’s trying to help him, which could be why logan was benched during svs. deceit knew that they’d listen to logan, but if he had let him take over the conversation, they wouldn’t be hearing deceit’s points and opinions, they’d be hearing logan’s, and it wouldn’t bring deceit any closer to being accepted or listened to than before) just because oooOoOooOoOO scary dark side! he’s a liar, so everything he says is wrong and invalid! oOooOoOoooO he’s so edgy and extra so we obviously shouldn’t listen to him! he’s just dramatic oooOoOooOOoOOOOOOOO /s

sound familiar? deceit and virgil’s arcs are so painfully similar, it baffles me how people insist that they’re completely different. i think the worst argument i’ve ever seen for this is that virgil is just a pure soft uwu boy and he never deserved what happened pre-aa, but deceit is terrible, awful, evil, and abusive and he deserves to get cut off and isolated from the others and told his opinions don’t matter and his valid concerns and fears are just him being edgy. that one almost made me fly off the handle in a salty rage, but i have suppressed it until now, where i can vent my points in a more logical, organized manner than just me screaming internally.

what needs to happen with deceit is nearly the exact same thing that had to happen with virgil: the other sides and thomas need to understand that he doesn’t do the things he does because he wants thomas to be this bad, horrible, immoral, extremely selfish awful person who takes what they want when they want in the express intent to harm others. he is self-preservation (albeit in a different way than virgil exists as self-preservation), and just wants thomas to always make the best decisions to keep himself healthy and safe, even if it means doing something like lying to skip a friend’s invitation to a life event. this comes right back around to virgil and how they learned to work with him; they need to work with each other, and balance everything out. they need to take into account deceit’s opinions and concerns and suggestions, and consider each one carefully between themselves, vetting ones that have been thoroughly picked apart and shown to be flawed, just like what they do with virgil and every other main side.

(apart from patton right now, but that is also a whole other essay, and i won’t derail this just to talk about that.)

this post is getting really long, so i’m gonna try to start winding to a close. generally, i know that the debate on whether lying is good or bad can be tedious, and complex, and seems almost looming at times, just because of how much you can take into account. there are so many arguments and reasonings and examples and evidence and thoughts on the morality behind lying that finding a way to satisfyingly come to a conclusion can be difficult for most, and even when you have a somewhat set belief on where you stand with its usage, certain points and expostulations can shift your view on lying very quickly. morality is also a very nebulous thing imposed upon us as a society, a set of values to believe in and adhere to, but things that are viewed as moral, immoral, or somewhere in the middle can change their standings very quickly, and can be influenced harshly by society and how we grow as people over time. things like being gay were viewed as immoral and wrong and terrible many years ago, but now, people realize it’s a very normal thing and it doesn’t make you a bad person to be different.

because like logan got cut off from saying, morality in terms of good and bad is nearly impossible to quantify given that each person imposes their own subjective rules of good or evil on actions, words, and behaviours. there is no way to objectively say that someone or something is morally good, morally evil, or morally grey without also having to also assert the fact that your view of morality is, in itself, a subjective opinion based largely around your upbringing, environment, presence/non-presence of religion, and many other factors. what you view as morally grey can be vastly different from my definition of morally grey, and that comes to light very easily when i find myself torn between agreement and disagreement when reading more in-depth analysis posts on the sides and their intentions with what they do and represent.

not every opinion here necessarily applies to everyone. i just wanted to add as much as possible from as many opinions and perspectives i could find that would help to contextualize my points and hit as many bases as possible with this one post. i thought it would be beneficial to put down the thoughts of a person from a different walk of life, so to speak, and how that greatly impacts the perception of the sides and their purposes/intentions. i know that a lot of this stuff is more in-depth and less in relation to the sides, but i think it’s really important to go into deeper discussion on these topics and themes, and relating them to the sides and what they represent is only a plus because it makes them easier to understand and sympathize with, whether you accept my interpretation of them or not.

anyway, sorry this turned into an actual essay (i can write nearly 4k in a couple hours about philosophical perspectives on the innate morality or immorality of deception, but i can’t write a single paragraph of the draft fics i’ve been working on for months? i see how it is brain), but hopefully you got to the end without getting grey hairs in the process! i’m not trying to invite the Disc Horse™ with this one, but i’m always open to discussion, and i’m in no way saying that my interpretation is a fact, because it’s just that—an interpretation—and it’s up to you to research and understand and to ask yourself those complex questions about what you believe. thanks for reading!

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elliemarchetti · 5 years

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Somewhere to Start (part 8)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Other Harry Potter fics:

Slytherin!Hermione AU (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)

The Deal (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5)

The Polaroids The Sixth and Seventh Polaroids

Words: 2003

Standing up, Viktor almost tripped over his feet. The Weird Sisters attacked a slow and lugubrious melody that seemed decidedly unsuitable for the joyous celebrations of Christmas and above all for his mood but still advanced on the lit dance floor, taking care not to pay too much attention to the looks that he and Hermione above all had attracted all the time; being a public figure he was always in the spotlight but all those attentions seemed to him an invasion of his private life and he feared that in the long run they would’ve bothered Hermione so much as to induce her to ask him to accompany her to the dormitory and put an end to the evening, but a moment later she had grabbed his hands and adjusted one around her waist, making him forget all his worries. Like they had practiced before, after a few steps he made her do a pirouette, or at least it was how Hermione called them, making her periwinkle skirt made of an inestimable number of flounces open like a blooming flower, attracting many other looks. They obtained the long desired privacy when the second song began and many of the spectators flocked to the dance floor together with their companions: Viktor saw the youngest of the Weasleys squinting in pain when Neville clumsily stepped on her foot, but the view was obscured by Dumbledore whirling along with an incredibly graceful Madame Maxime. When Mad-Eye Moody, who was engaged in a clumsy two-step with another Hogwarts professor, approached, Viktor stiffened but tried to conceal loudly clapping at the end of the song.

"Do you want to sit down?" asked Hermione worriedly, but he shook his head and kept dancing, trying to avoid Angelina and one of the Weasley twins, so wild they risked to run over whoever was near them, until they were out of breath and with their mouths dry like the desert.

"Do you want something to drink?" he asked, following the look of his lady, who had come to rest on Potter and Weasley, sitting together with a girl probably Indian at one of the tables near the track.

"Thank you," she replied in the tone of someone apologizing, before heading briskly toward them.

Although he wanted to leave her space, he was also willing to spend as little time as possible away and give her the magical evening she deserved, but he was still Viktor Krum and it was obvious that no one was going to let him go back to his companion, so he answered Karkaroff's questions quickly, he exchanged a few words with some Beauxbatons boys and even scribbled a quick autograph for a third-year Hufflepuff boy who nervously told him he had begged his sister to invite him so he could meet him person without having to disturb him during the meals. The thing pleased him and touched him too but the feeling didn’t last long because, before he even got in line for the drinks, he noticed that a small crowd had gathered around the table where Hermione had gone and Weasley's voice was resounded half-way through the song change. When he finally managed to reach her, Hermione was open-mouthed and her cheeks were so red that Viktor wondered, for a fraction of second, if that worm hadn’t slapped her, given also the malign expression he displayed.

"It's obvious, isn't it?" he was saying. "He’s one of Karkaroff’s students, he knows who you’re friend with, he's just trying to get close to Harry ..." he growled, before stopping abruptly at his sight. Viktor didn’t consider himself a violent person but he knew he was capable of arousing a certain fear, so he wasn’t particularly surprised when Hermione took his hand, as if to calm him, and whispered: "He’s drunk, he’s not worth it.”

"For your information," he hissed at the red-haired boy who seemed to want to disappear under the table, or perhaps his friend’s shadow "I'm not interested in getting close to Harry," he said, placing particular emphasis on the name and imitating his English accent, "nor to those who are or are not Hermione’s friend, as opposed to those present. Therefore, if you don't mind, I would go back to my evening and I advise you to do the same or leave, I don't care, as long as you don't disturb us anymore, understood?” he concluded, scanning everyone’s faces and finally returning to meet the terrified gaze of the one who, looking at him well, was just a stupid and childish boy, unable to see the true value of people and above all to understand the decisions of the one he should’ve considered as part of his family. The small crowd dispersed as quickly and silently as possible, while Hermione, who had come close enough for him to be able to hold her shoulders, looked at his friends with clear contempt.

"Didn't we have to go get drinks?" he asked, and she nodded, no longer meeting the two boys' eyes, even when they returned to dance.

"Would you like to take a walk?" he asked her when he was convinced that the room was designed specifically to make him sweat like a pig. She seemed enthusiastic, so they skirted the dance floor and went out into the Entrance Hall. The door was still open and the dancing lights of the fairies in the rose garden gleamed and glittered as they descended the steps, at the end of which they found themselves surrounded by bushes, winding ornamental paths and stone statues. It wasn't as romantic as it looked from above and surely the presence of all those people didn't help at all, so they walked silently until they reached a particularly beautiful fountain, on which the moonlight was reflected, silvery. There was a bench nearby, and if they had managed to ignore Fleur and his companion who kissed passionately somewhere in the maze they could have had a brief moment of intimacy. But the words, all that he had thought to tell her since he had invited her, and perhaps even before, didn’t arrive, the feeling that it wasn’t the right time to tighten a lump in his throat.

"I just don't understand his reaction." Hermione said after a while, interrupting the silence. Viktor had in mind several reasons why her friend might’ve behaved that way, but he said nothing, noting how obvious his lady's need to talk about it was.

"He wasn’t interested in inviting me and he doesn't even feel any senseless dislike for you, since when you arrived he did nothing but blab about autographs and photographs. Think, he even has your model on the bedside table!"

Viktor said nothing, but to every detail she added it was clear how much she had been, or perhaps still was, in love with him. Although it hurt him deeply, partly because he was aware of being better than that weak asshole, partly because it was Hermione they were talking about and he would do anything to be worthy of her attention and affection, he still listened to her, girding her shoulders when she shivered. "Perhaps, however, the thing that hurt me the most was his belittling of what we are, whatever it is, because no one has ever made me feel this way, nobody has ever been so interested in me ..." she added, but her voice it broke mid-sentence and it took her a while to recompose. "As a child, before Hogwarts, I didn't have many friends. No one was interested in talking about books or spending afternoons at home when the sun was out and you could play in the park, so when I came here and they made me feel accepted, it was enough. With you, though, it's different." she concluded, and leaned her head against his shoulder, as if emptied, and though it seemed she wanted to add something, Viktor didn't insist and silently stroked her bare shoulder until Fleur's moans were too much to bear and they came back running and giggling, with large swarms of multicolored fairies that rose as they passed. Despite the hitch, Viktor's plan went well and they danced a long time before joining Darina, Alicia, Poliakoff, Andrei and their companions, who were talking about giants. One of the two unknown girls seemed visibly bored, but Viktor was certain that Hermione would’ve liked the subject and surely she would’ve had some interesting notions to add, so he didn’t give particular importance to the reason why the discussion was started until he realized that the base was Hermione's half-giant friend.

"And who cares if his mother was a giantess?" the bored-looking girl asked once she had stopped probing the room.

"Well, none of those who know him, because they know he's not dangerous, but many might consider him inherently evil if they knew of its origin." replied Hermione and it was obvious she experienced it on her skin and so she continued for a quarter of an hour until, around midnight, the Weird Sisters announced the last song and everyone decided to dedicate themselves to one last dance, a slow one, before having to leave.

"I'm sorry things went like this," Viktor whispered to her about halfway through the song.

"Why?" she asked, raising her head from his chest to look at him. She didn't look sad or disappointed, just curious to know what was bothering him, and maybe even a little drunk.

"I wanted it to be perfect, because you deserved a perfect evening, and instead your friend first, then Fleur and that guy in the park and now even my friends are starting to gossip!" he exclaimed, frustrated.

"Your friends said nothing wrong. Rather, I'm sorry for Poliakoff," she said, pointing with a nod to the poor fellow who seemed to be looking for all the ways to further draw his lady to him "but everyone knows that Allison Barnes was hoping to be invited by someone else."

“Really?” he asked, glancing at the girl with the long blond hair that fell on her bare back like golden curls. She was beautiful, although for his tastes she was trying too hard, and she struggled to imagine that any boy his age could wish for someone else when someone like that hoped to be invited. "He was the one who invited Fleur, right? Darina says that Alicia heard that she used her Veela powers to get invited..." he began, but Hermione seemed to hold back laughter so much he had to ask her what was happening.

"You were the one she wanted to be invited by” she replied, with a bright smile on her face. “She was so sure that in the end you would’ve invited her that she refused everyone until you sent me the snitch and then she found herself having to accept the invitation of someone she didn’t liked to not look like a fool with all those to which she had already said someone invited her.”

“But I never saw her!” he exclaimed, making her laugh again.

“This doesn’t mean she hasn’t done everything she could come up with to be noticed.”

“She could’ve run naked in the hallways and I would’ve never seen her anyway: since I came here I had eyes only for you.”

She looked at him with an expression of exaggerated perplexity but added nothing else and returned to lean against his chest until the song ended, after which she joined the loud burst of applause with which the Weird Sisters took their leave. They said good night in the Entrance Hall, and as he watched her walk away, a strange sensation flooded his mind, making him almost physically ill: she hadn’t yet disappeared in the stream of people who crowded the stairs and he already missed her.

"So," Andrei asked, "did you give her her gift?"

Viktor blushed in shame and his friend needed no further answers: he had forgotten to give her her Christmas present.

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racke7 · 5 years

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I’ve hesitated in picking it up, but I finally got around to reading Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari. It’s an interesting kind of story, for all that the first chapter-and-change is... unpleasant.

You, the reader, know what will happen, but he doesn’t. And it’s like you end up doing a full-body wince every time he decides to trust the people around him, which isn’t super-pleasant to read about. But still, once that’s through it’s a very interesting kind of story.

But see, the beginning of the story introduced something that I really want to see developed on in a fanfic. Aaaand, of course, nobody has written anything even remotely like that.

(I refuse to write this out myself, I’d rather chew off my own arm)

Alright, so the basic idea of it is based around:

Demi-humans grow older when they level up.

Naofumi’s big “deal“ with Raphtalia is that she will become his sword in order to fight back against the monsters who destroyed her home.

And if you remove that first point, then Naofumi will obviously be the bad guy in this scenario. Because he’s recruited a weak and pathetic child as a slave, and decided to turn her into a child-soldier who follows his every command.

There’s no way in hell you can describe that scenario without Naofumi coming off as the bad guy.

However, even if Raphtalia doesn’t suddenly “level age“, that doesn’t change anything about her motivations and reasoning behind accepting Naofumi’s deal.

As in, she looks at him and sees that he still tries to be kind to her, even when he’s so obviously broken by betrayal and hatred. So she’s loyal to him.

But see, in a scenario where we don’t shy away from the fact that she’s a child-soldier and a slave, we can’t just brush off her dedication to Naofumi as “he tries to be kind“. Absolutely, it plays a huge part in it, but I feel like one of the main reasons she rises to her feet is the fact that he’s promising her that she will become his sword.

Not just in the sense of “you will be useful to someone who values you“, but rather in the sense of “you, who hates the monsters ravaging your world, I’ll give you the power to fight back and destroy them all“.

Basically, it’s a match made in a burning building. Naofumi who’s fueled by hatred towards his fellow heroes and the royals, who continues to live on almost entirely to spite the people who hate him. And Raphtalia who’s constantly fueled by Naofumi’s trauma-warped view of the world into becoming a perfect “sword of vengeance“ against the monsters.

And of course Raphtalia would end up becoming damn-near fanatically loyal to the man who picked up that pathetically weak slave and decided to turn her into someone who could fight back against her constant suffering. The fact that he tries to be kind still, stilted and bitter though it is, just makes this tiny little girl all the more decided about staying with him.

Now, obviously everyone is going to be massively horrified that Naofumi has gone and enslaved a poor innocent little girl to do his fighting for him. But then, if nobody actually listens to her desire to stay with him, then this tiny Raphtalia would probably be perfectly willing to shank someone in his defense, slavery-seal or no.

I feel like the story would mainly circle around the fact that Naofumi didn’t agree to being summoned to fight against the monsters in order to save the world, and he hates the world enough that he often finds himself questioning why he should even bother doing that much. And then contrast that with Raphtalia who desperately wants to save the world, not necessarily for the sake of the world, but for the sake of vengeance against the monsters.

Basically, Naofumi would be driven on by spite towards the other heroes and a refusal to simply roll over and die. Whereas Raphtalia would be driven by the “you killed my parents, prepare to die“-mentality of destroying all the monsters and then technically saving the world as a result.

Needless to say, they wouldn’t be entirely allowed to keep that mindset long-term, as they lean on each other in their own ways and both find something worth saving in the rotten world surrounding them. But the beginning would be there, and the theme would echo true in how it’s not a desire to “save the world“ that ends up saving the world as much as it a desire to “survive and protect that person“.

Kind of a found-family? But heavily based around “vengeance and spite are perfectly acceptable and healthy things to base your entire existence around“ slowly transforming into “but maybe that hateful expression on the face of a person I love, isn’t really something I want to see“.

(I have literally no idea how AU it’d have to be to make any kind of sense to base the themes on that, instead of the canon-problem that a bit too often ends up revolving around “how to power-level”, but it’s just... come on, not even a single story trying to tackle the violent drama inherent in child!Raphtalia?)

#tate no yuusha no nariagari #stories #anime #fanfiction #fandom #writing #my writing

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