#wart-biter

[antiqueanimals]

Grzimek's Animal Life Encyclopedia: vol. 2 - Insects. Written by Dr. Bernhard Grzimek. 1984.

Internet Archive

1.) Wart-biter (Decticus verrucivorus)

2.) Great green bush-cricket (Tettigonia viridissima)

3.) Saddle-backed bush cricket (Ephippiger ephippiger)

4.) European earwig (Forficula auricularia)

[bugtheories]

Orthoptera - Decticus verrucivorus, Chorthippus albomarginatus, Roeseliana roeselii

[michaelnordeman]

Large Marsh Grasshopper (Stethophyma grossum)/kärrgräshoppa, Dark Bush-cricket (Pholidoptera griseoaptera)/buskvårtbitare and Wart-biter (Decticus verrucivorus)/större vårtbitare. Sätraskogen Nature Reserve in Stockholm, Sweden (August 25, 2013).

[princeofallbones]

INSECT OF THE DAY: the Wart-biter (Decticus verrucivorus)

Wart-biters are a type of bush-cricket. They grow up to 3-4 centimeters long, can fly if they get scared, and make a noise eerily similar to that of an accelerating bicycle. They get their name from the practice common throughout eighteen century Europe: getting rid of Warts by getting these guys to nibble on them

The upper two pictures: Adult male of the red morph.

The bottom two: Adult female of the green morph.

Might want to start a discussion about manipulated nature photographs: sorry for not being able to photograph them in their natural habitats

[onenicebugperday]

@robotzebra​ submitted: Decticus verrucivorus or a nice wart-biter friend

Oh what a sweet lil babe! Those legs...so leggy. Also a very nice ovipositor. I was curious how they got their name and

Its common and scientific names derive from the eighteenth-century Swedish practice of allowing the crickets to nibble at warts to remove them.

Now I have MORE questions. Did these lil lads actually nibble warts? Why in the world would they be inclined to even if a person put them near a wart? Quick! Someone find an article with more information...

[razorblade180]

Rosebud part 14

Some days go by fast. Other days go by incredibly slow. For Ruby, it was the ladder. Deep in the woods of Anima she sat on the porch of Ren and Nora’s orphanage with kids around the age of ten circled around her in amazement as she told them stories of her adventures. Each one more amazing than the last until the Sun was setting on the crisp winter day. Funny, she’d never particularly loved the cold but lately it was so inviting. Most likely because she was in comfy sweatpants and being pregnant made her body feel like she was a furnace. The phrase bun in the oven never felt more real. Soon it would be over though. In fact, it would be considered a day over cooked right now.

Ruby:Ok, story time is officially over.

Children:Awwww!

Little girl:But I wanna hear more about the food fight!

Little boy:Yeah! Also how do you ride a locker. I wanna try!

Ruby:Hehehe, now, now, I gotta save stories for later. Plus I bet Ren is almost done with dinner. Don’t wanna miss that now do we?

Children:Okay….

They all slumped down with puppy eyes. Ruby wasn’t naive. She’s seen this tactic; she might as well be the inventor of it. Yet it was working on her!

Ruby:Tell you what, wanna hear the song I sing to my baby? It’s practically one of the few I can actually sing well.

Children:Yaaaaay!!!

Ruby:*clears throat* Dream of anything. I'll make it all come true. Everything you need is all I'll have for you. I'm forever, Always by your si-

The front door opened and Yang came walking out with baby Kovu in her arms. The little guy has gotten pretty big in just about a year. He was wearing a black onesie and enjoying being swayed.

Yang:Ren says dinner is ready for you little ankle biters. You have five minutes to get to the table if you want dessert.

Terror spread on the children’s faces before they ran inside.

Yang:Wash your hands!

Ruby:Look at that. You have one kid and now you know how to master them all.

Yang:I think you’re forgetting who helped raise you. If anything, you’re my first child Ruby. It’s actually very comforting seeing it like that.

Ruby:It’s also emotional and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make me cry. I’ll need all the energy I can muster when this little procrastinator decides to be born.

Yang:Like mother like daughter.

Ruby:Ah! I don’t remember giving you this bedside manner when you were blown up like a balloon. Kovu, your mom is being mean to your aunt.

Kovu does nothing but giggle and wiggles his ears.

Ruby:Fine, take her side.

Yang:He knows better than to upset his food supply. Soon you’ll be on straight solids mister and I can be free.

Kovu looks at Yang for a moment in silence. She’s a bit stunned that he might’ve understood that. Then Kovu starts tugging on her tank top and Yang’s eyes squint at him while Ruby chuckles.

Yang:I don’t think he likes that idea.

Ruby:He’s a simple boy. Boobs are his life.

Yang:Don’t lewd my son or I’ll make fun of….whatever gender your kid is. Why can’t you be a normal person and know ahead of time.

Ruby:I like the surprise. Nora knows but that’s because her and the nurse here have done basically everything. I’m surprised she hasn’t told Jaune.

Yang:He still on patrol with the others? He should really be right by your side.

Ruby:I wish he was but we agreed keeping these woods safe is top priority. Can’t afford to get careless; not this time.

Ruby rubbed her stomach slowly as she remembered a time very similar to this. Hard to believe it’s been three years. Even so, the ache still felt somewhat fresh. Yang reached out and rubbed her shoulder. A comforting smile eased Ruby’s worries and she returned the smile genuinely.

Yang:Now is the time to look forward. Wouldn’t want your anxiety to harm the baby. Aren’t you the one usually preaching about hope?

Ruby:Yeah, the curse of being a good leader strikes again. All my advice coming right back at ya.

Yang:Gotta bring it up all the good ones so you’ll remember it for your little one.

Ruby:My little one had to come out first! I’m tired of being pregnant Yang.

Yang:Yeah I went through something a little similar. Due date was coming soon and this little guy stopped being as active. I started eating ice so the cold stirred him up. Ghira even tried spooking me into labor. Oh! Let’s try that. Kovu, scare your cousin.

Ruby:You’re so ridiculous sometimes.

Yang crouches down to Ruby’s belly and holds Kovu to it. His tiny hand reaches out and starts tapping it.

The two sisters laugh at his attempt.

Ruby:Sorry Kovu. Good atte-

Yang:Ruby?

Ruby:Yang...go get the nurse and Nora.

Yang:*eyes widened* Really!?

xxxx

Out in the woods, Jaune makes his rounds around his designated area like the others. The only thing distracting him from the cold was the thought of his wife. This was all for her safety and peace of mind and for that reason alone, he’d put up with anything.

Jaune reached for his scroll and brought it up. He checked on his friends' aura levels. Still high; little to no fighting has happened then. That’s all he could ask for.

Jaune:Everyone okay?

Blake:Yep

Weiss:Naturally.

Qrow:All clear.

Raven:Not so much as a beowulf on my side.

Tai:Really? I’ve killed like five.

Raven:Stop worrying about everything and they might stop seeking you out.

Tai:Mmmm nope. I need the exercise anyways.

Jaune:You need any help?

Tai:I’m just fine. Don’t worry about me for one second.

Qrow:Says the worry wart. Besides, I think you have something coming your way kid. Can you see the sky?

Jaune jumps on a branch to see above the treeline. What he saw was plumes of black smoke and the sight of birds fleeing the scene. ”Someone’s killing grimm? In my area?” He said, confused. ”Who could be out here besides-”

His heart sank to his stomach and he gripped his tight. Without a moment of hesitation, Jaune darted towards the scene. “I’m checking it out now. Everyone be ready for the worst.”

“Roger!” They all said with conviction in their voice.

It didn’t take Jaune long to get where he was headed. Each step he took brought growls and the familiar sound of metal striking bone armor. ‘It’s not them, it can’t be them. We took every precaution.’ He kept telling himself as he slowed down and crouched into the shrubs. ‘Relax Jaune, don’t get impatient. Observe and go from there.’

He took a deep breath and parted the plants in front of him. There was a forest clearing. Dozens of Ursa laid fading away while a massive one stood on its hind legs and roared. Below him was a figure in a cloak. Jaune could only see his back but it was easy to see how worn out the person was.

The cloak was all covered in dirt and their shoulders rose and fell with an intensity that could only mean deep breathing. Still it looked like they remained calm. Their stance low and poised as their hands ready their cane to the side. Wait, Jaune recognized that cane.

The Ursa slammed its weight to the ground and a shockwave blew cloak back along with the person. Jaune popped up from his hiding spot. “Ozpin?” The figure turned around. Yep, it was him.

“Hello Mr. Arc. How-“ another roar interrupted the headmaster and the Ursa charged. Ozpin was caught off guard.

“Look out!” Jaune screamed as he cloaked himself in aura and rushed over there almost as fast as Ruby. He slammed his shield right into the Ursa’s head; making it stumble back. He kept up the momentum by spinning forward and chopping the head off in one swipe.

Ozpin:Nice form. Oh how far you’ve come.

Jaune:Oz, what are you doing out here?

Ozpin:I thought that was obvious. Killing grimm like the rest of you. She’s almost due, right?

Jaune:H...How did you know we were here in the first place? This was supposed to be tight lipped.

Ozpin:It is. The only one who was supposed to know I was here was Mrs. Rose herself but as you can see, things got a bit messy.

Ozpin took a knee and held his head down with his cane supporting him. If it wasn’t for the eye and white hair, He’d looked exactly like how Oscar did after training.

Jaune:How long have you been out here?

Ozpin:Not too long. About a month.

Jaune:A month!?

Ozpin:Yeah. That Ursa Major was number 257 by the way. All the office work is making me rusty.

Jaune:You know if the other’s saw you here then they might have some choice words with you right? I appreciate you being there for Ruby but your agreement-

Ozpin:I’m well aware. It’s why I’ve been trying to remain inconspicuous. This isn’t me trying to build good karma and I have no intention on asking anybody for anything. If anything this should be my way of thanking you all for your years of service and making sure you can continue living life the way you want. It’s the least I can offer. Besides some advice.

Jaune:I think I’m a little old to be your student.

Ozpin:Hardly. Humanity might as well be kids compared to my age. You’re never too old to learn regardless; you’ve all taught me many things for example. I’m grateful for that.

Jaune:....Fine, lay it on me professor.

He sat down in front of his old professor to humor him. Oz couldn’t help but smirk as he stood up like he was about to give a lecture.

Ozpin:This part of Anima is known for slow moving grimm that are spaced well enough apart that the success rate of a traveler running away is pretty high in comparison to other places. I imagine that is one of the reasons why the orphanage was built here.

Jaune:That’s right.

Ozpin:Not a bad idea. When I arrived, I killed thirty grimm at most in my first week. Next week they were more agitated and mobile. Makes sense; Mrs. Rose was here and so were you. Childbirth is an anxiety filled event that happens by nature. However, the grimm kept showing up by the dozens and I got very busy as you can see. Which means...

Jaune:More people showed up? I knew that. Practically everyone is here by now.

Ozpin:Yes but you have to think a bit bigger than that. More people showing up isn’t the problem. It’s everyone who showed up is on edge and attracting the grimm; you all are causing the dangers that you’re trying to prevent. No doubt you could handle them together but if it wasn’t for me then at least half of you would be needlessly exhausted. That would be a real problem if a grimm of frightening destruction showed up, or a rogue maiden out for blood.

Jaune felt his heart stop for a moment. Oz was right. He’d been so caught in his head that instead of being proactive like he thought he was being, he was actually just reacting to his own fears. The only reason the plan was working was because everyone was more than skillful to handle most problems.

Oz walked over to Jaune and got him on his feet. He put away his cane and rested his hand on Jaune’s shoulder.

Ozpin:Strength and diligence are very important but not the most important right now. You all have that in spades. I bet there’s a million things on everyone’s minds right now. All valid fears no doubt. Give them a chance to get it all off their chest. A leader protects the mind along with the body. Just you do as a husband, and just like you’ll do as a father. *smiles*

Jaune:You think that highly of me huh?

Ozpin:Well you are the one who has done the most growing. Then again, that’s only natural seeing how you were….let’s say a late bloomer.

Jaune:That was almost a complete compliment.

Ozpin:Hehe, my fault. You know, I never had a son but looking at former students like you and Ren really makes me feel like…

Oz’s words trailed off and he stopped speaking. Instead he stood right in front of Jaune and examined him thoroughly. Hair, clothes, frame. He’d really grown from his first day. Jaune looked a little embarrassed and confused as Ozpin nodded and smiled with what seemed to be pride. Then, he walked off. Jaune said thank you and got only a wave goodbye. Class was dismissed.

Jaune almost wanted to call out to him but stopped; his scroll ringing nonstop like an alarm. Everyone was messaging him. Yang most of all. ‘How have I not noticed this?’ He thought answering Yang’s call.

Jaune:Hey what’s-

….

Jaune:RIGHT NOW!?

xxxx

Yang:Yes right now! I know we had this system in place but I think you should be-

Ruby:AAAAAAAHHHH!

Yang:I think you should be here for the birth!!!

Jaune:I’m on my way! We all are.

Yang:What about-

Jaune:I’d Cinder wants to show up then that’s her death wish. We’ll handle her together.

He hung up before Yang could even respond. The girl sighed to calm herself before looking over at her sister. Ruby was sweating bullets on a hospital bed they have gotten earlier. The nurse was going back and forth with clean attire for the baby and making sure Ruby’s vitals were okay. She’d been healthy all through the pregnancy but better safe than sorry. Natural births could get tricky sometimes.

Nora had the honor of actually being the person delivering the baby. She’d done it more than anyone around and it was showing. Her face displayed laser focus on the task at hand and she was dressed in proper hospital attire except for her hair which was pulled back into a bun. Truly she was the rock Ruby needed right now.

Nora:You’re doing great Ruby! Keep it up!

Ruby:Agh, you...you’d think this would be easier the second time. Hehehe….

Yang:*grabs her hand* Jaune’s on his way. All of them are by the sound of it.

Ruby:That’s good...wouldn’t mind some more happy faces in here.

Nora:Then let's make them really happy by making them to the party. How about they see you with a beautiful baby in your arms? Ready?

Ruby:*tightens grip* To get back to a life of combat skirts? You bet.

Nora:*smiles* One...Two...THREE!

xxxx

‘Almost there. I can’t believe this is actually happening.’ Jaune thought as he sprinted through the forest. Jumping over tree roots and gaining speed along the way. The man didn’t miss a step.

The sounds of his boots going across the floor began to get drowned out by other footsteps. With each passing moment a friend came into his peripheral that joined him in the journey back to Ruby. Weiss was the first, followed by Blake, and then Tai.

Blake:You nervous?

Jaune:Hell yeah, but it’ll all work out. I have you guys. I don’t know how far I would’ve made it otherwise.

Weiss:Think nothing of it. This has always been a group effort.

Jaune:Not Just with this. I mean everything. School, adventures, regular life problems, you’ve helped so much in so many ways. I couldn’t ask for better friends and family.

Tai:That goes both ways you know? We’re thankful for you just as much as you are for us.

Weiss:We love you, you dunce. I can’t imagine anything we wouldn’t do for you or Ruby honestly.

Blake:And we know it’s mutual. Now and forever, we’ll watch each other’s backs.

Jaune:Thanks guys. *smiles*

Tai:Hey, where’s Qrow and Raven?

On que a bird flies right past them and gains some distance. “That’s totally cheating” Weiss pouts as she can feel the heels of her shoes getting a bit worn. The bird flies around a tree and transforms back into Raven. “Need some help you slow pokes?” She grabs her sword and opens a portal. The group smiles and happily jumps through it. They come out the other side in front of the orphanage with Qrow leaning against the door waiting.

Qrow:Good thing I looked so you all could just leap. What if I was inside the house when Raven made that portal?

Tai:Sounds about on brand really. The kids would’ve had a good laugh.

Jaune:Never mind all that. Is Ru-

“Waaaaahhh!”

A cry from inside was heard loud and strong. Jaune’s eyes widened. It could’ve any kid. From the small kids to Kovu, but somehow, he knew it wasn’t. The cry, it belonged to someone new.

Jaune said nothing and walked towards the door. Everyone fell in line behind him with cheerful smiles on their face. They gave him space. It was his moment more than theirs after all. Ren stood with a child in his arms when he noticed them coming in. He gave his best friend and leader a smile then pointed upstairs. Jaune nodded then went right towards them; the crying getting louder as he got closer until it reached its peak with him right outside a wooden door. His heart felt like it was about to fly out of his chest. Jaune grabbed the door knob but felt too anxious to turn it. A fire in his chest that didn’t frighten him, but made this moment surreal. Then, a voice cut through it all.

“Don’t worry, I got you. Nothing will ever harm you…”

Without anymore thinking, he walked in. From that moment on, the winter night felt incredibly warm. There she was. His closest friend. His wife. Holding their newborn child in her arms with such grace and gentleness that it took his breath away. Despite what Ruby would probably think, Jaune doesn’t think he’s ever seen her look this angelic. She hasn’t even noticed him yet. Her attention focused on soothing the baby with the same song she used all pregnancy; the same song for Dustin.

“I’m close by, I’ll stay here. Through all things I will be nea- Hmm?” Ruby finally felt the presence of multiple eyes and looked up. It was a pleasant surprise to see so many loved ones staring in awe from the door while. Then there was Jaune. Speechless in front of her bed with tears in his eyes. Ruby had already been crying for several minutes and smiled back at him. Though she hadn’t realized just how happy he was; why they were all thrilled. It wasn’t just the baby. It was Ruby herself. Jaune was looking at deep pools of silver that shined like the moon’s reflection on a still lake. For the first time in a long time, Ruby finally looked like herself again.

Jaune:H...Hey…

Ruby:Hey there stranger. Looks like you were right this time around. Come say hello to your daughter Carmine.

Jaune’s smile grew even bigger. He’d forgotten all about that silly wager from long ago. Slowly he walked to Ruby’s side and she held the little one up so he could see the new addition to their lives. What he saw was beautiful. Carmine had come out with already a full head of blonde hair that grew darker and red at the tips. Her cheeks were all rosy; he’d assume from crying but he hoped that maybe she had a natural blush.

Regardless, what really captured him was when she opened her eyes. Purity couldn’t describe them. They were eyes that stole his heart in an instant. Maybe it was because he was already so emotional. Or maybe, it was because it was because they were just as captivating as Ruby’s. An intense silver that showed him anything possible.

Jaune:Hey Carmine Arc Rose. Welcome, to the best family ever.

Part 13

[dragonslayer-5fanfiction]

My Burly Love Chapter 5

Alright, I got it done. The picture credit goes to @umetakenoko, who has the most amazing artwork, please go check it out. It’s stunning!

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

I was sad to leave Rivendell behind, because there I knew we were safe, and I was getting some training in. I knew that once we stepped out of Rivendell, training would be put on the back burner. I valued the one on one time I had with Dwalin. I could hardly get that outside of training. I sighed as I knew we would be thrown to the wolves once on our journey again.  

We were traveling for a couple of days when we came across the mountain pass. As the day started to come to a close, angry black storm clouds started to gather. This looked like a horrible storm, nothing like the deluge we encountered earlier on in the journey. The pass was narrow and with the wind and rain pelting us, it was a miracle we were making any progress. Lightning lit up the sky as the mountain shook. Bilbo almost fell off, but Dwalin had quick reflexes and caught him. 

“We must find shelter!” Thorin shouted over the noise of the storm. Dwalin pointed somewhere in the distance. 

“Look out!” He yelled and I ducked against the rock face, grabbing hold of Dwalin’s cloak to keep myself from falling off the steep edge of the cliff. A huge boulder was hurtling its way towards us. It hit the mountain directly above where we huddled, a cascade of small rocks and pebbles bouncing and falling toward us. In the midst of all this, Dwalin reached back to make sure I was still there.

Balin stepped forward and pointed at the sky, “This is no thunderstorm! It's a thunder battle! Look!” A giant stood up from nearby and ripped a chunk of rock off the mountain. 

“Well, bless me! The legends are true! Giants; stone giants!” Fili called out. They continued to throw rocks at each other, the debris continued to fall on us. We tried to take cover as much as we could on a narrow path. Out of nowhere the ground beneath began to shake and it split, “Kili, Kili, grab my hand!” They were separated moved farther apart as the giant stood to full height. One of the other giants came over and head-butted the giant we were on. It fell back into place and Thorin, Oin, Gloin, Kili, and I scampered onto a safe part of the path. We stood watching as the giant stood back up ready to fight. A third giant came out of nowhere and punched our giant. 

“No! No!” I screamed as the other half of our company was crushed between the giant’s knee and the mountain. Kili grabbed me to keep me from lunging forward and falling. I was fighting against Kili as much as I possibly could, I think my heart shattered when the rest of them were crushed, however, I could only think of Dwalin. The giant managed to stand up straight and none of them could be seen. I watched as the giant fell unceremoniously onto the narrow canyon floor. I scrambled over to where they were and just around the bend they were all hanging on for dear life. I counted heads, and realised we were missing Bilbo. 

“Guys, we’re missing Bilbo. Where is he?” I yelled kind of panicked. 

Everyone started to look around for him. “There!” Fili yelled spotting him over the edge of the cliff, hanging on for his life. Everyone gathered around him, trying to pull him up. Finally, Thorin had it, and hopped down the side of the mountain and pushed him up. Dwalin helped Thorin up, who was pissed he had to save Bilbo.

“I’d thought we’d lost our burglar,” Dwalin said. I was standing next to him looking over Bilbo to make sure he wasn’t hurt. He was merely shaken by the near-death experience. 

“He’s been lost ever since he left home. He should never have come. He has no place amongst us.” Thorin replied Bilbo looked hurt by what was said. I gave Thorin a dirty look and went back to tending to Bilbo. “We need to keep moving.” 

We started back up the path, but I was so upset by what had happened that I was shaking the entire way up. At one point I grabbed Dwalin’s cloak, to make sure that I didn’t fall. 

“Ey, lass don’t worry I won’t let ye fall.” We finally made it up the hill and into a small cave away from the raging elements. I looked around and saw how exhausted everyone was. We all laid out our bedrolls and got ready to sleep. Thorin assigned Bofur to the watch. I laid down betweenh Bilbo and Dwalin. I don't know how long I was asleep when I felt Bilbo get up. I opened my eyes and listened to him and Bofur talk. Bilbo wanted to leave, to go home, he missed it. I understand I miss my home too, but something about being here with my friends felt just like home too. Maybe not quite exactly the same, but it was close.

I heard sand shifting like there was something moving. Thorin sat up, “Wake up! Wake up!” Before anyone could even respond, the floor opened up and after a moment of being suspended in the air, we plummeted downwards. I swear I was plummeting to my death. We all landed in a heap of elbows, knees, and beards. I couldn’t distinguish one dwarf from the other. I sat up and was greeted by the face of some greyish purple chin. I stared at the warted created with disgust and fear. 

“What is that?!” I shrieked and pushed myself backward away from it. Even more of them rushed forward. Dwalin grabbed me and pushed me behind him. He tried to fight the creatures that came to grab me. There was no way he could have won, there were too many of them. He finally relented and made sure that I stayed behind him, holding my hand. They grabbed everyone and guided us over these rickety bridges that I swear, could not hold all of our weight. Whenever we went over one, I squeezed his hand a little tighter. We made it to this area where there was a giant Creature sitting on what looked like a rickety throne. Under his feet was a pile of smaller creatures. 

“Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves? Assassins?” He got more crazy at the end. As they were talking I leaned into Dwalin

“What are these things?” I asked. 

He turned his head slightly and whispered, “Goblins.” my eyes widened and I stepped back again. He was about to bring out something called a mangler. Thorin stepped forward to stop this. 

The great goblin was surprised by this. “Well, well, well! Look who it is! Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, King under the mountain. Oh! But I’m forgetting you don’t have a mountain, and you’re not a king. Which makes you nobody really. I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head. Just the head, nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak, an old enemy of yours. A pale orc astride a white warg.”

 “Azog the Defiler was destroyed. He was slain in battle long ago.” Thorin responded with disgust.  

“So, you think his defiling days are done, do you? Send word to the pale orc, tell him I have found his prize.” The goblin responded and his scribe scooted away on a zip line. He continued to shout at his minions, telling them to bring some things up. As they were doing this, he started singing. “Bones will be shattered, necks will be wrung, and you’ll be beaten and battered, from racks you’ll be hung. You will die down here and never be found, down in the deep of Goblin-town.” They brought the devices up, and some of them were rather terrifying to look at. I stepped closer to Dwalin and grabbed his cloak. 

He glanced back at me, with a raised eyebrow. “What are those? Am I going to die here? I’m not fit to be tortured.” I whispered to him. With my hand on his back, I could feel him sigh.

 He turned towards me, “Lass, don’t ye worry about a thing. Ye will not die, and ye will not be tortured.” I had tears gathering in my eyes, they were threatening to flow out. “Lass, as long as I am alive, I will protect ye with my life.” He grabbed my arms, pulling me into him. “Nothing will happen to you. I swear to Mahal.” I didn’t know much about their culture, but I knew that swearing to Mahal, was a very serious thing. I smiled and leaned into him, finally feeling safe for a brief moment in his embrace. 

I looked up at him, directly into his eyes, “Thank you Dwalin.” I thought for a brief moment about giving him a kiss on the cheek, but before I could do anything the head goblin gave out an ear-piercing shriek.

“I know that sword! It is the Goblin-cleaver! The Biter! The blade that sliced a thousand necks!” He was scurrying away from Thorin’s sword. He looked like I do when I see a mouse. Balanced on his throne, standing on one foot, the body turned, pointing at the thing like it was emitting toxic gas. It would have been comical had we not been in a life-threatening situation. “Slash them, beat them, peel them, kill them all!” They started to thrash the whip harder against us. The pain was debilitating. I felt the split on my back and knew I was going to have scars. He then turned on Thorin, “Cut off his head!” It was chaos, the dwarves started to fight against the goblins even more, and out of nowhere BOOM! 

Just to the right of the throne came a blinding white light. Goblins went flying everywhere, and I collapsed onto the ground. I sat up, and a shadowy figure was walking towards us. Upon closer look it was Gandalf. Gandalf was here!

“Take up arms.” He commanded, when we didn’t pop up immediately he began to yell some more. “Fight! FIGHT!!” We all fought to get up, and while we worked to gather ourselves, Gandalf started swinging. 

“He wields the Foehammer! The Beater! Bright as Daylight!” The Great Goblin hollered. Bombur stepped up and started to throw the weapons to their respective owners. I pushed the goblins away from me as much as I could, seeing how I still don’t have a good handle on how to wield my weapon. It was pure chaos after that. We stood there fighting the goblins off until Gandalf found a way out, and we followed him. 

We ran over the bridges, and I had to fight my hardest to not fall off. The Great Goblin popped up out of nowhere and swung at Gandalf. The dwarves caught him from falling and pushed him back up. Gandalf poked him in the eye, cut his stomach and his neck. When he collapsed on the bridge it shook it loose, we went sledding down the side of the chasm. The walls saved us from dying, however, when the Great Goblin fell on top of us, I thought I was going to die. He was so heavy, it was awful. Some of the others managed to get out of the rubble easier. I was struggling, so Dwalin came over and helped pull me out. I smiled in thanks to him, we didn’t have time to converse.

Kili let out a yell, and we all looked up. Those goblins were like a million baby spiders coming down the wall. I let out a scream and turned to help the others get out of the rubble. 

“There are too many to fight! We don’t stand a chance.” Dwalin said looking at Gandalf. 

“There’s only one thing that will save us, daylight,” Gandalf said and we headed towards the exit of the chasm. We were running for our lives, and they were hot on our heels. We made a mad dash and believe it or not, I’ve managed to build up some endurance over the course of this trip. We came flying into the clearing. It was downhill, and we were coming out fast. I tripped over a tree root, that I didn’t see. I reached forward and grabbed onto Fili’s coat. He just so happened to be in front of me. 

“I’m sorry. I tripped.” I squeaked out when he turned to look at me. 

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” We finally came to a stop and Gandalf took a headcount. We realized Bilbo was missing and I started to panic again. 

“Curse the halfling, now he’s lost?” Thorin bellowed out. Then a fight erupted between the company, all arguing about who he was with, where he was. “I'll tell you what happened. Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it. He has thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth......since first he stepped out of his door.” He looked to the side, and I rolled my eyes. He has had no faith in him the entire time. I think he’s wrong, Bilbo will come back. “We won’t be seeing our hobbit again. He’s long gone.”

“No, he isn’t.” Bilbo literally appeared out of nowhere. I looked around, trying to figure out where he came from. 

“Why did you come back?” it was accusatory. 

“Look, I know you doubt me. I know you always have. And you're right, I often think of Bag-end. I miss my books. And my armchair and my garden. See, that's where I belong. That's home. And that's why I came back. Because......you don't have one. A home. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can.” I smiled and walked up Bilbo giving him a hug. 

“I’m glad you’re here. I knew you wouldn’t leave us.” I pulled back and held him at arm's length giving him a sincere smile. We heard the thundering steps and turned to look up the mountain. 

“Out of the frying pan…” Thorin said. 

“And into the fire. Run!” Gandalf yelled guiding us further down the mountain.

Chapter 6 

Tag list: @fentah, @reignofglitter, @perseny-blog, @xxdragonagequeenxx,  @captainrainbowpanda, @hufflepuff25

[chpenn]

Biter

Hi! I wrote a story today. I don’t think the triggers are too bad but I figured I’d warn people. Hopefully I’ll post more stories~

TRIGGER WARNING: mental illness mention, self harm, horror

Biter

I hope I titled this right, because that's what I am: a nail biter. Apologies if this grosses anyone out, but welcome to coping with mental illness, sometimes. Like many other anxious teens, I started nibbling on my fingernails in high school to combat the horrible worry that someone might in fact notice me, and thereafter point out every flaw I never even knew I had. Fortunately for my mental health, no one who noticed me did that, but I had my nail biting in case they did. Occasionally, I'd nick my cuticles off, but at this point, nothing too drastic.

The odd bits started in my mid 20s. One cold Thursday morning, which I remember because I had that day off from some garbage retail job I kept, I noticed the first one. Nothing too odd, but I didn't know you could get bubbles on your hands. At first, I wondered if that was how warts were formed, but the internet quickly disproved that. Further online research showed that it could be some kind of condition, but seemed pretty harmless. Needless to say, I popped the little sucker. Clear fluid came out, and the wound healed over by the next day. Again, nothing too drastic.

At some point during my 30th year, I got my first bubble in probably eight months. This was different. It started as an itch on my finger, another symptom of that condition from earlier on. I figured scratching would relieve it, so I went to town. Unfortunately, the itch persisted. I scratched harder; it started driving me crazy. Mind you, this was about five minutes later, which certainly outlasted any regular itch I've ever had. Unable to withstand the sensation, I clawed. Hard. Skin started to tear, almost as if I had uncovered a particularly hard to get at blister. That same clear fluid came out, but this time, it arrived with a slight red tint.

This continued for some time. I never truly bled, and other parts of my life kept me worried about other things, so I dealt with this new addition to my life. Every few months, you're going to get an itchy blister. Not the worst.

However, earlier this very year, as we all know, COVID-19 hit. While I've miraculously stayed clear of any of that nonsense, the situation has... evolved. The blisters started bleeding a few months ago. I think I saw a vein once. It's been a bit difficult to find a doctor who'll see me, considering they're a bit busy with, oh, I don't know, a pandemic? Fine, fine, this probably isn't too bad.

Then, we get to last week. My arm starts feeling a bit strange, which is normal considering, again, garbage retail job where I lift things and put them in places. Feels like a nerve is wriggling around in there. Do I know what that feels like? No, of course not. But, I don't have much else to go on. The internet only vaguely suggests some kind of carpal tunnel thing, but no. This can't be that. It doesn't hurt, it's just... moving. Now, I'm worried. The next morning, a small nub appears on my wrist. It doesn't itch, but if this isn't the biggest one yet, I'll eat my shoe. I wear gloves a lot at work, so at least I can keep it hidden until I can get a doctor's appointment.

Now, most normal people would head directly to the ER, do not pass go, pay up $200. Considering the previous bits of my story, are you that surprised to learn I wanted to wait a few days until it got better? Probably not, I hope. Anyways, the bubble got bigger, until a whole line went down my wrist. It turned firmer, which, as I'm typing this, probably should have been my hint to absolutely scoot to a hospital. But, I no longer have that option, I don't believe. Not because COVID has taken over, but because today, the bubble burst. It didn't itch or really even hurt when it popped. The usual clear liquid dripped over my hand, but I looked down at what happened, knowing that I did not scratch this one open.

Another finger had burst out of my hand.

It wriggled of its own volition, yet I could feel everything. It seemed perfectly human, save for a claw on the end. Well, I shouldn't say claw. It was a fingernail, alright, but one that had been grown for a very specific purpose. A purpose that became entirely too clear, five minutes later, when the confused wriggling stopped, and that nail plunged directly into the back of my hand.

I screamed, naturally. That was about an hour ago. My partner was out visiting friends, and I doubt anyone else in the building cares too much. We scream at the cats sometimes. No big deal. But no, this scream was real. After I calmed down, it stabbed again. I tried to hold it back with my other arm, but what could I do? Hold it forever? I let go, figuring maybe that was a spasm, but it got me again. Harder, this time. I have a very prominent vein on the back of my hand that is now spurting out quite a bit of life. Hey, one might say, now is the time to sprint towards the nearest doctor! Instead, I panicked. I went to the kitchen, held the protrusion on the counter, and grabbed a knife. It struggled, but I was too busy panicking and making bad decisions to notice. One deep breath later, and I did what I had to do.

Now, I was back to my normal ten fingers.

But, oh, the pain. The pain that still throbs in my hand. At least it's over, and I can make something up at the doctor, right? I'm still not going, though. I'm sitting here, gripping the knife. I'm crying, and typing this up with every finger that isn't holding the knife because I want everyone to know it's not some ridiculous bubble syndrome. All of the nerves in my body are tingling right now. Naturally, I can see my hands as I type this. One is bleeding heavily. The other has a bubble growing faster than ever before.

THANX 4 READ! I tried posting on nosleep but it got removed cause i mentioned mental illness in the beginning i guess oh well

[nightingaletrash]

so I didn’t get any sleep last night and ended writing this after the sun started coming up. I’ve had a rough idea for Vaylin and Garrett’s first interaction in my head for a while now, so I figured why not  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-------------

Vaylin was no stranger to skulking around in places she didn't belong, watching and listening for anything that might be important. It was a skill finely honed from years of being a nosy child with a penchant for ignoring her elders and sticking her nose where it didn't belong for the sake of adventure. Back when her appetite for excitement and exploration had been insatiable, and had landed her into all sorts of trouble. 

Until a year ago, however, it had also become her means of keeping bread on the table. People in the City paid to know things and have messages passed along discreetly, and people like her were happy to do the job if it meant staving off hunger for a few days longer. Now her father had returned home from his long imprisonment in Moira, and her skulking and spying had found new purpose. 

But tonight she had already finished the task set before her. She’d crept around the alleys and passages that were lit by low-hanging lanterns, and followed the trails of scattered rose petals to get a sense of the situation outside of the House of Blossoms. Had even stopped by the servant’s entrance to sneak a quick chat with Portia about the nightly goings on inside the House itself and what the situation was like this evening. Now she was waiting. In the shadows, of course. No need to attract attention by milling around in the open for the whole world to see. That would lead to questions, and the last thing she needed was for the Eel Biters or the Baron’s Watch to be the ones asking them.

Riverside was far from being her favourite place in the City; with the Eels being every bit as nasty as the Watch, the putrid stink of sewage drifting up from the stagnant canals and waterways, and the muck that threatened to suck her boots free from her feet if she roamed off of the main streets, it didn’t make an effort to be pleasant in the slightest. Meanwhile the dockfrocks either clung to every corner in search of clients or plied their trade in back alleys and rundown hovels, and some nights the salt in the breeze felt… thicker than usual, if that made sense. She often found her mouth going dry and her eyes feeling crusty in Riverside on those nights, so the sooner she could get away from the salt-heavy sea air, the better.

As if she could simply leave after she gave this Master Thief the rundown of what she had learned. Constantine had gone trotting off some while ago, tail held high like it always was when something had his attention, and he hadn't come back yet. 

While she was certain that he could slink past the guards that patrolled outside the infamous House of Blossoms without any trouble, she couldn't help but fidget every moment he was gone as a horrible anxiety scraped the inside of her skull. The Watch weren't known for their fondness of cats. If any of them saw him, they might decide to use him for target practice, or think that he might make a nice hat, or something else equally horrible. Constantine was the one friend she had in the world that she could depend on without question (and the only one who guarded her bed while keeping her feet warm every night without question). She didn't want anything bad to happen to him just because she'd let him go trotting off.

But if she went looking for him, she'd miss the Master Thief - Garrett, her father had told her - and then what good would her watching and listening have done? 

So she waited. And waited. And waited some more. And just when she started to wonder if Garrett had somehow slipped by without her notice, he finally appeared. 

He was shorter than she'd expected, and clad from head to toe in black leather with a cloak wrapped around his shoulders. He wore a hood, had a mask pulled up over the lower half of his face, and on his back he carried a bow and a quiver of arrows. He also didn't seem to have spotted her immediately, as she had tucked herself in the crook of the wall, deep enough in the shadows that she was entirely invisible from afar, and up close you’d have to walk straight past the gate that barred the way into the House of Blossoms, and there was no point for anyone to do that. So she stepped out of her dark corner to make herself just about visible and beckoned him over. 

He hesitated a moment and raised a brow before carefully making his way over, tugging down his mask to reveal his face. It caught her off-guard.

The right half of it was covered in a twisting scar reminiscent of a lightning strike, spreading down from his eye and cutting at his lips and up into his eyebrow. But somehow even more noticeable was his right eye. At first glance it looked like it might be blind with cataracts; clouded over with no visible pupil. Except she’d seen plenty of folks with cataracts and none of their eyes were a bright, almost spectral green that looked like it might just be glowing in the dark. It was hard to tell if it really was, or if it was just that bright a green that it looked like it was glowing. It was also an absolute mismatch with his other eye, which was dark brown and perfectly normal in every way.

Up close Vaylin got a better look at him and realised he was not only shorter than she'd imagined - which was only partly explained by the natural curl of his shoulders and bend of his knees - but he was thinner too. He had the look of someone who'd not eaten well in a long time and she recognised the signs of adjustment in his gear. Well worn holes in the harness sitting higher than the fastenings of the buckles, and laces looking just a bit longer than they ought to suggested that they'd had to be tightened up recently. 

He was hardly the picture of perfect health, but with the way things had been the last year why would he be? If he was here, he must be up to the job. Why would her father hire him if he wasn't?

She decided against commenting. She doubted he'd appreciate it. 

"Garrett, I take it? My father said you'd be coming." 

"Must have, if you're here waiting for me," he huffed. The tension in his body held. Still on guard. Not surprising. You didn't survive long in this city by being stupid. 

"I guess. Though tonight's not exactly my usual. Usually I go where I think I can learn useful stuff. Not every day the old man sends me somewhere specific, not unless he has something in mind." She shrugged. "But then, it's not often he hires someone like you."

Garrett raised a brow but said nothing. Impatient. Just here for information, not a chat. Fair enough. Best to be straight down to business.

"Did some looking around a while ago. There's your bog standard guard patrol on the way in, but there's a good number of blind spots you can take advantage of too. There'll even be a nice escort for you to follow; some noble went in just a little while ago and no doubt will have a little retinue that should be easy enough to follow to the entrance.

"The real problem will be inside. I spoke with a friend who works in the House, and she says that the Thief Taker General is here tonight collecting Black Tax, which means more guards on the inside than normal. And knowing that sleazy bastard, he's going to take his time indulging himself rather than just taking his money and going. You'll have to be on your guard. I hear he's none too happy about you stealing that ring out right from under his warts."

"I'll keep that in mind," Garrett snorted as he turned to enter the alley. 

Vaylin frowned. "You realise I'm not done yet? Trickster's eyes, you're impatient." 

She shook her head as he paused and looked at her expectantly. 

"My friend also tells me that there's a rumour about Madam Xiao Xiao. Some  of the girls are saying that she has some sort of passage in her office for peeping in on the clients. Y'know, collecting their dirty little secrets. But the House was always part of something older, and the Madam cares about secrets besides her clients' pet kinks and perversions. My bet is that the passage is part of the older bits of the House, the parts even the Madam hasn't explored yet, and might just lead you to this book that my father wants."

Garrett had the decency to at least raise a brow in a look that could be generously described as mildly impressed, or at least surprised that she'd given him a decent jumping off point for his search. He'd clearly not expected much, which she tried not to take personally. He didn’t know her after all. Had no prior reasons to get his hopes up that any information she’d provide would be accurate or useful.

‘Catch enough fish, one’ll have gems in its mouth,’ she thought wryly. It was something her mother used to say. It got the point across, strange as it was.

"Guess I'll be headed for the Madam's office then," he said dryly as he began to turn away again. "Thanks for the tip." 

"You're welcome. Also, just so you know, once you reach the actual doors of the house, there's a gap over the wall to the right you can use to get inside. I’d have asked my friend to slip you in the servant’s entrance, but she’s already risking her job just telling me what she knows," she added, folding her arms. "And no offence, but no one's going to mistake you for the cabaret act. Leather or no." 

At that remark his lip actually quirked into a smirk. 

"And here my whole plan was hinging on that." 

"Well I'm sure you can improvise well enough to make up for it. Or, y'know, try your plan anyway and see if anyone buys it. Never know. You might strike gold." 

He actually looked faintly amused, which she guessed was the closest she was going to get to approval tonight. It was better than an annoyed roll of the eyes, which is more of what she had expected based on what little Basso had told her the last time they had spoken about the Master Thief.

Not long after Garrett vanished, Constantine returned, slinking his way through the open gate. He looked rather disgruntled and his pupils were angry, narrowed slits, but otherwise he had all of his fur, no extra holes, and tail was flicking back and forth agitatedly. Annoyed, but (more importantly) unharmed. Something hadn’t gone his way at the very least. Maybe a mouse or a rat gave him the slip.

Vaylin raised a brow and scooped him up off the ground.

“You didn’t run into trouble, did you?” she cooed, scratching him behind the ears.

He made a throaty noise - his way of communicating his disdain - which quickly gave way for purring.

“Yeah, I don’t like the Watch or the nobles either,” she agreed. “We’ll see if we can sneak some tuna to make it up to you before Jacob tries to send us off to dig up dirt on the Keep again. Like he thinks that’s something people just talk about.”

Constantine made his disdainful noise again as he settled himself around Vaylin’s shoulders, making clear his own opinion of Jacob, and the pair set off into the dark.

[josefinnilssonphotography]

EYE CONTACT PART II // Vårtbitare // Wart biter https://www.instagram.com/p/CDhMBL4gG0y/?igshid=9mo25qbhd1xz

[lovingexotics]

some weird/cool bugs! first up is the Wart-Biter bush cricket of europe, whose name "derive(s) from the age-old practice of using the cricket to bite warts from the skin." next up is the Spiked Magician, a 5-inch all-female cannibal species of katydids! and finally we have the Tree Lobsters (Dryococelus australis) which were thought to be extinct but then rediscovered on a small island!

Thank you so much for the cool bugs and some information on them! I'm so happy that they found some more of the tree lobsters and they arent gone forever. I hope they're properly protected so they can continue to stick around!

Wart-Biter Cricket (X)

Spiked Magician (X)

Tree lobster (X)

[laurawilliams-illustrations]

Wart-biter Cricket 

(Decticus verrucivorus)

Fineliner, watercolour, pencil and gouache.

While researching for insects to add to my growing ‘Insectarium’ collection, I came across this intriguing creature. As well as having beautiful shaped bodies, their unusual name peaked my interest. Apparently, in the 1700′s these crickets were indeed used as part of an age-old practice to remove the warts off of human skin. 

Unfortunately, these bush crickets are critically endangered and this is mainly due to the increase in intensive farming. They require a particular mosaic of grassland in order to reproduce and survive which due to human activity has became scarce. In the UK, they can now only be found in a number key sites around the South of England. There are conservation efforts ongoing to help understand the best ways to boost their numbers and make this wonderful cricket a permanent resident of the UK. 

My ‘Insectarium’ collection showcases a number of different insect species native to Britain. Each study aims to explore their fragile ecosystems and the increasing pressure their populations are under. 

Buy prints here! https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/LauraWilliamsArtwork

[dustedandsocial]

FAKE RADIO, Vol. 37 Pictured: Sir E.U

Tracklist:

01. SIR E.U & TONY KILL - Cha 02. Lötfett - Durst 03. Black Heino - Liebe heut nix gut 04. Litku Klemetti - Taikaa 05. Astral Brew - Explicit Gesture 06. Makoto Kawabata • Richard Pinhas • Yoshida Tatsuya - Trax 8 07. Pr Bug - Target 08. Orlando Furious - Rage 09. Rain Text - 2.1 10. Scarlatine - ton odeur 11. Stratocastors - Seul 12. novva falla - walknwalk 13. Spost - Ild I Brombær 14. Total Leatherette - High In The Valley Of A Screaming Rainbow 15. Sote - Plural 16. WomenSaid - The Red Eyed Raven 17. Wetware - Except All Presents 18. Karger Traum - Familienlied 19. ULTRAKELVIN - Hellzabomber 20. Ice Baths - Inhabitant 21. The Lice - Dream on the Brat 22. Danny Kendrick - Artistes 23. Tommy Jay & The General - Hard, Loud & Fast 24. The Doozer - Red Eye Coming 25. The Submissives - Don't Worry

Download: Zippyshare / MEGA

FAKE RADIO, Vol. 38 Pictured: Wukir Suryadi

Tracklist:

01. Nickelus F - Trill Burr 02. Dame Area - Dicevi a Me 03. Penelopes Fiance - Consequential Moments 04. Caramuerto - Arena 05. Life Fucker - No sleep 06. Q'uq'umatz - Bloodletting Ceremony 07. DLVRNC - Wet Trip 08. Panxing - Machine of We 09. Opal Beau - Club Panopticon 10. DJ Oil - Maybe 11. 30 kilo słońca - asertywny 12. Bodies On Everest - Suspicious Canoe 13. Wart Biter - Messier 54 14. Wukir Suryadi - Canggak Maringgih 15. Villeneuve & Morando (Feat. Vacarme) - Le désert rouge - part1 16. neueheimat - Fraktal 25 17. Philip White and Chris Pitsiokos - sometimes 18. Yes Deer - Gloss 19. uSSSy - Voyage 20. mr sterile - Hilltop like a Jawline 21. Weasel Walter - They're Even Dumber Than They Look 22. Martín Escalante & Matt Mottel - Chop Party 23. Giovanni Verga - The fifth element 24. Karen Novotny X - 5 Minutes in Brussels 25. The Left Outsides - Naming Shadows Was Your Existence

Download: Zippyshare / MEGA

FAKE RADIO, Vol. 39 Pictured: Nandas

Tracklist:

01. BbyMutha - Ungrateful (feat. Michael Da Vinci) 02. Hospice - Moving Forward 03. DIN - Real Dirt 04. Marvis Dee - Alpha 05. Nina Buchanan - Cyndi's Theme 06. Nandas - Chema 07. Basic Human - Adult Baby 08. Lithics - Flat Rock 09. The Pink Noise - Jackal 10. Wombo - Claire's Lair 11. Mark Wynn - Johnny Buckle 12. Itchy Bugger - Baker Man 13. Max Eilbacher - Piano 2 14. Autharktos - Inept Remarks About Your Stolen Money 15. Unglee Izi - Quatrième Androgynie - fantaisie pour organes 16. Carlos Giffoni - Hands 17. Winner Computer - Portastrip 18. Columbus Duo - HMB 19. W-2 - Crumpled Crease [Extract] 20. Sam Fendrich - Fake Blues 2 21. P Wits - I Will Fall 22. Jesus Is My Son - Sous un soleil gelé 23. Gwilly Edmondez - Prelude To Speedo Foyer 24. Peggy Lee - A Strange Visit 25. Sissy Spacek - Puzzle Performance

Download: Zippyshare / MEGA

(All other mixes)

[aballofsymptoms]

ive gotten it all

the stares, the ones of compassion, worry, absolute disgust, confusion. when im biting, picking, pulling, or if someone catches a glance at my fingers.

ive done this for as long as i can remember

in 3rd to 4th grade, my derma was so bad my finger got infected and i had a wart-like bump on my right pointer finger for around a year. i was so self concious of it i would refuse to wesr short sleeves, so i could cover my hands with my sleeves.

one time, my friend caught a glance at my fingers, i was young, in primary school, she looked at me, disgusted, “whats that on your finger?” it was the first time one of my peers had confronted me about it. oh, nothing, i said. i covered my fingers with my sleeves, 4-5 years later i still remember it. she probably hasnt even thought about it once.

when the “infection”, whatever it was, went away, i cried. i was so self concious about it, it was gone!

but my “habit” wasnt

i was consistently told by my parents, and people aorund me, that i was just a nail biter. but why cant i stop?

why, when my mom tells me to stop biting, is the urge so strong i have to go to the bathroom and bite

bite

bite

why was it, that other, so called, “nail biters” cuticles werent rugged terrain, their cuticles didnt look like comical sfx makeup in a horror movies.

because im not a nail biter

im a wolf biter

and thats okay

[d00k13]

They Wondered Why I Was A Toe Biter - BlockchainCoffee “Birthday”

They Wondered Why I Was A Toe Biter - BlockchainCoffee “Birthday” Alright let's do this… all last weeks prompts plus this Sundays Prompt #freewrite #hive #writing #fiction #entertainment

It happens once a year unless you’re one of the, ohh so lucky ones, being born on a leap year. A time to which we look forwards when young and dread the more we grow old.

    BlockchainCoffee “Birthday”

Day 1037: 5 Minute Freewrite: Sunday – Prompt: birthday

  Alright let’s do this… all last weeks prompts plus this Sundays Prompt

Birthday

foul taste

wild west

herd of sheep

wart

high heels

shave

[berjhawn]

Elastic Heart - Part 6 - The Goblin King

Warnings: Fighting, ETC

Pairings: Hobbit X OFC; Thranduil X OFC; Fili X OFC; LOTR X OFC

Parts: 

Prologue

Part 1 - An Unexpected Journey

Part 2 - The Beginning

Part 3 - Trolls

Part 4 - Rivendell

Part 5 - Thunder Battle

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wake up. Wake up!” I hear Thorin call and before anyone can react, the floor of the cave collapses downwards. I reach out to grab hold to anything as I fall and suddenly feel Fili’s arms wrap around me. I cling to him as we all fall down a chute, slide through a tunnel, and land in a giant wooden cage.

When we reach the bottom I feel Fili release me and say, “Are you alright?” Before I am able to reply, a horde of goblins attacks us, and takes our weapons away. As they grab Ithildin I find myself in the midst of a panic attack. “No! Give him back!” I scream out as I reach unsuccessfully for him. I suddenly feel hands grab and pull me back making me start to claw for Ithildin like a wild animal as the goblins drag us all away kicking and screaming.

The goblin horde leads us through its halls, a vast network of tunnels and wooden bridges until we reach the throne room and platform of the Great Goblin King. The Great Goblin King is a massive Goblin sitting on a throne, holding a mace topped with a skull. He is far larger than any other goblin, and he is incredibly ugly, with warts all over his swinging chin. The dwarves’ and my weapons are piled together. The Great Goblin jumps off his throne, trampling several goblins, and approaches us. “Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves? Assassins?” The Great Goblin King says as he eyes each of us.

“Dwarves, Your Malevolence.” Another Goblin says as he presents us to his king. I kneel slightly beside Bombur to make myself look more dwarflike.

“Dwarves?” The Goblin King cries out as he turns toward us.

“We found them on the front porch.”

“Well, don’t just stand there; search them! Every crack, every crevice.” The goblins search us thoroughly, throwing away whatever they find. Suddenly one grabs me and I feel it jerk me to my feet. 

“An Elf, Your Malevolence.” The Goblin clutching to my arm says as he tosses me to the ground before the King. 

“NO!” I hear Fili yell and I quickly climb to my feet and stare daggers at the Goblin King. 

“What are you doing in these parts? Speak!” He says and I clench my jaw closed not responding. “Well then, if they will not talk, we’ll make them squawk! Bring out the Mangler! Bring out the Bone Breaker! Start with the youngest.” The Great Goblin points at Ori.  I am about to argue when Thorin steps forward and says, “Wait.”

“Well, well, well, look who it is. Thorin son of Thrain, son of Thror; King under the Mountain.” The Great Goblin bows exaggeratedly to Thorin. “Oh, but I’m forgetting, you don’t have a mountain. And you’re not a king. Which makes you nobody, really. I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head. Just the head, nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak, an old enemy of yours. A Pale Orc astride a White Warg.”

Thorin looks up in surprise and disbelief I mimic his expression as he says, “Azog the Defiler was destroyed. He was slain in battle long ago.”

“So you think his defiling days are done, do you?” The Great Goblin laughs, then turns to a tiny goblin sitting in a basket and holding a slate. “Send word to the Pale Orc; tell him I have found his prize.” The tiny goblin writes down the message on his slate; cackling, he then pulls a lever, causing his basket to start sliding down a system of ropes and pulleys into the darkness. I turn to see dozens of goblins carry massive instruments of torture on their shoulders, bringing them to the Great Goblin. Meanwhile, the Great Goblin is dancing and singing lustily. “Bones will be shattered, necks will be wrung! You’ll be beaten and battered, from racks you’ll be hung. You will lie down here and never be found, down in the deep of Goblintown.”

One of the goblins, is examining the weapons the dwarves brought with them. He picks up Thorin’s sword, Orcrist, and slides it a few inches out of its sheath. Recognizing the sword, he gasps in horror and throws down the sword. It lands in view of all the goblins. Recognizing it, the goblins howl in fear and rage as they retreat from it. The Great Goblin runs rapidly to his throne, trampling many goblins on his way. He speaks loudly, pointing at the sword.

“I know that sword! It is the Goblin-Cleaver, the Biter, the blade that sliced a thousand necks.” As he speaks, The Goblins begin whipping the dwarves and I with ropes before leaping upon us, biting and slashing. I bite my lip as the pain from the lashes passes through my body like a wave making memories of the days I was tortured flood my mind.

“Slash them! Beat them! Kill them! Kill them all! Cut off his head!” I turn to see Goblins hold Thorin down, and one of them pulls out his knife and prepares to behead Thorin. 

“Thorin!” I yell as I throw goblins off me in an attempt to reach him. 

Suddenly, there is a massive explosion of bright light; sending a shockwave that rips through the area, flinging goblins in the air and destroying the torturing machines. Everyone is knocked down, including the Great Goblin. When the force of the explosion has passed, most of the lights in the area have been snuffed out; in the background, a shadow with a tall pointy hat walks up.

It is Gandalf, holding his staff and his sword, Glamdring. Light slowly returns to the area as the goblins, the dwarves, and I slowly look up, recovering from the shock. We all stare at Gandalf as he says, “Take up arms. Fight. Fight!” We quickly jump up and begin fighting the goblins. As goblins run at Gandalf, he kills them with his sword and staff. The Great Goblin, still lying on the ground, sees Gandalf’s sword and points at it, crying aloud to his goblins.

“He wields the Foe Hammer, the Beater, bright as daylight!” Some of the dwarves reach our pile of weapons and begin tossing the weapons to each other; they use their weapons to defeat the goblins around them. “Randír!” I hear Bofur call as he tosses Ithildin back to me. I pull him from his sheathe and start slicing away at Goblins. Nori, while fighting, lands on the floor; the Great Goblin runs at him and swings his mace. “Nori!” Thorin jumps forward and deflects the Great Goblin’s blow, causing the Great Goblin to stumble backward and fall off the edge of his platform, falling to the depths below.

The rest of the dwarves, Gandalf, and I continue to fight. “Follow me. Quick! Run!” Gandalf says as we cut down the goblins around us. The dwarves, Gandalf, and I run along a pathway leading away from the throne room. We run through the suspended passageways of Goblin Town, with hundreds of goblins running after us. “Quickly!” Gandalf cries out as we run forward.

Dwalin sees several goblins running at them from in front and look over says, “Post!” He and some of the dwarves cut a guardrail post from the side of the path and they hold it out in front of them like a massive spear. “Charge!” He cries as he and the other dwarves charge at the oncoming goblins and sweep them away with the long rail. Dropping the rail, Dwalin pulls out his axes and begins knocking aside goblins. The rest of the company does the same.

Gloin hits one goblin that falls and lands on another suspended path, breaking the path and dropping all the goblins on it into the darkness below. The rest of the Company also fights the goblins around them with their various weapons and fighting styles. Several goblins snarl as they swing on ropes toward us. “Cut the ropes!” Thorin says and I turn toward them pulling Ithildin up and cutting one of the ropes as Thorin and some of the dwarves cut the rest, causing the platform to fall outward, entangling the goblins swinging on the ropes.

As Kili fights, several goblins start shooting arrows at him. He deflects some arrows with his sword; he then grabs a nearby ladder and drops it on the oncoming goblins. Kili and some of the other dwarves run forward, pushing the ladder and the goblins it has trapped in front of them. As they approach a missing area of the path, the goblins fall down into the darkness; the ladder, however, acts as a bridge for the dwarves to cross to the rest of the path. As soon as they cross it, Dwalin breaks the ladder, preventing the goblins chasing them from crossing it.

The dwarves, Gandalf, and I continue running through the mazelike paths; we get on a section of the path suspended by ropes from above. They slice some ropes, and the pathway swings away from the rest of the path, approaching a different path. “Jump!” Thorin cries and several of the dwarves including myself manage to jump to the other path; however, before the rest can, the suspended path swings back like a pendulum to where it started, and several goblins leap on.

As the path swings back again, the rest of the dwarves and Gandalf manage to jump to the new path as well; they cut the ropes, causing the swinging path and the goblins on it to fall. We continue running through the tunnels, killing all the goblins in our way. Gandalf strikes a rock above us with his staff, causing the rock to fall down and begin rolling in front of the Company, squashing all the goblins in our way. Soon, we approach a bridge between two walls of the cavern. As we try to cross it, the Great Goblin suddenly breaks through from underneath the bridge and pulls himself up onto the bridge, in front of us. As we pause, hundreds of goblins approach us from all sides.

“You thought you could escape me?” The Great Goblin says as he swings his mace twice at Gandalf, causing him to stumble back and almost fall. “What are you going to do now, wizard?” Gandalf leaps forward and strikes the Great Goblin in the eye with his staff. The Great Goblin drops his mace and clutches his face in pain. Gandalf steps forward and slices the Great Goblin in the belly; the Great Goblin falls to his knees, clutching his belly as he says, “That’ll do it.” Gandalf again swings his sword and slices the Great Goblin’s neck, causing him to fall down dead.

His weight causes the bridge to start shaking; suddenly, the section of the bridge on which we are standing breaks away from the rest of the bridge and starts sliding down the side of the cavern. The bridge slides at a terrific speed down the cavern’s wall, demolishing everything in its way; the dwarves cling on, screaming in terror. I close my eyes to keep from joining in their screaming. The bridge slows down and lands at the base of the cavern, breaking apart and burying the dwarves and myself in the timber and wood.

Gandalf and myself get up from the pile of wreckage and inspect the rest of the dwarves, who are still stuck in the wreckage. “Well, that could have been worse.” Bofur says when suddenly, the heavy corpse of the Great Goblin lands on the wreckage, squishing the dwarves further. They cry out in pain. “You’ve got to be joking!” Dwalin says and I stifle a laugh that is trying to escape my lips. As the dwarves extricate themselves from the rubble, Kili looks up and sees thousands of goblins running at us. “Gandalf!” He cries as Dwalin replies, “There’s too many! We can’t fight them.”

“Only one thing will save us: daylight! Come on! Here, on your feet!” Gandalf says and I rush over and quickly help the dwarves get up, pulling each of them out of the rubble, and then we run away, following Gandalf. Gandalf quickly leads us to the exit where we run down the side of the steep, tree covered mountain. As we race down the mountainside Gandalf pauses to count how many dwarves are with him. The dwarves pause to collect their breath. “Five, six, seven, eight...Bifur, Bofur...that’s ten...Fili, Kili...that’s twelve...and Bombur and Randír that makes Fourteen. Where’s Bilbo? Where is our Hobbit? Where is our hobbit?!”

We all look around us for any trace of Bilbo finding none.  “Curse the halfling! Now he’s lost?!” Dwalin says and my stomach drops at the thought of him still inside the mountain. “I thought he was with Dori!” Gloin says causing Dori to instantly reply, “Don’t blame me!” “Well, where did you last see him?” Gandalf asks causing Nori to say, “I think I saw him slip away, when they first collared us.” “What happened exactly? Tell me!” Gandalf says but instead of Nori replying Thorin speaks, “I’ll tell you what happened. Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it! He’s thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since first he stepped out of his door! We will not be seeing our Hobbit again. He is long gone.”

I clench tightly to Ithildin as I fight the urge to jump down his throat. “No, he isn’t.” Bilbo says as he steps out from behind the tree. The dwarves and I look up in shock and relief. Gandalf laughs as he speaks, “Bilbo Baggins! I’ve never been so glad to see anyone in my life!” Bilbo strides forward into the group; he pats Balin affectionately on the shoulder. “Bilbo, we’d given you up!” Kili says right before Fili asks, “How on earth did you get past the Goblins?!” “How, indeed.” Dwalin asks and suddenly there is an awkward silence. He gives a nervous laugh and puts his hands on his hips. “Well, what does it matter? He’s back!” Gandalf says as he turns to the rest of our group. “It matters! I want to know: why did you come back?” Thorin says not removing his eyes from Bilbo.

“Look, I know you doubt me, I know you always have. And you’re right, I often think of Bag End. I miss my books. And my armchair. And my garden. See, that’s where I belong. That’s home. And that’s why I came back, cause you don’t have one. A home. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can.” After Bilbo speaks, there is silence as the dwarves think about what Bilbo said. Gandalf and I smile slightly at each other, happy that Bilbo has changed so much for the better.

Will Continue in - AZOG