#waugh.... i love her. and these are so pretty for real

[albert-tsum]

I just decided to ramble a bit about my sexuality hcs, ships etc about Wesker.

(I never thought I'd make so many text posts)

These are not going to be extremely precise analyses and will be influenced by my personal wishes and hopes. If I've written something that goes absolutely against the canon feel free to inform me.

It may become a bit uncomfortable since I wanna address some serious topics.

And it'll be too long again.

-------------------------------------------

1. General headcanons

Personally I see him on the aroace spectrum and/or as pansexual. He's not easily romantically or sexually interested in someone. I'd even say it happens almost never. He may be able to sleep with people he isn't into (maybe to manipulate them) but rarely does so (I also don't think he slept with Excella like some do, she clearly wanted it but he was able to manipulate her without sex). To be into someone this person needs something that intrigues or excites Wesker e.g. their intelligence, willpower, physical combat skills etc. But I don't think he would care much about the gender of his partner. He probably has more experience with women (e.g. he says in the OG RE1 that "he's not used to escort men") but is also open for men. As far I am aware his VAs Richard Waugh (a) and DC Douglas (b) said that he's not gender specific (a) and probably wouldn't limit himself (b) to one gender.

Either way I see him as queer.

2. My ships

As you see in my reblogs I ship him and William Birkin. He was Weskers only real friend whom he admired and trusted. That's a really big thing for Wesker so I like the hc that there was more than friendship between them and I would love to see them interacting more and learn more about their shared past.

The only other ship I like with Wesker is himxChris Redfield even tho it's kinda problematic. I like the STARS version of them where Chris looked up to Wesker who was fond and proud of him (but probably doesn't want to have feelings like this since he knows he will betray them at one point). I also kinda like the hc that Wesker maybe wanted Chris (and perhaps Jill) to join him if they hadn't make fun of his tyrant. Since I kinda like enemies to lovers and complex relationships like that I also enjoy post RE1 Chrisker. I'd love if it's not sheer hate between them but more like a mix of disappointed expectations, obsession and that they need eachother and the secret wish to have eachother on their side.

I am not the biggest fan of huge age gaps so Chris and Wesker having a difference of 15 years is something I am not too happy about. So early 20s is the lowest age I'd accept (like Jake's mother was).

3. My hopes and wishes

As I said I don't like huge age gaps so I dislike the ships WeskerxRebecca and WeskerxClaire. Rebecca was 18 und Claire 19 when they met Wesker and they are way too young for him. Because of that I really hope that Wesker isn't attracted to Rebecca. That would be a no-go even tho it's fictional and it'd destroy Wesker as a character for me. So I really hope Capcom won't make him someone who absolutely does not care about age to the extent where it's becoming creepy.

(that isn't meant to offend those who like these ships, it's just my personal opinion)

CW: r@pe

I also came across people claiming that he may be a r@pist (for e.g. controlling Jill in RE5). That's another case of yeah he is absolutely evil but that does not mean that he has every evil trait or crime committed. I am pretty sure he didn't do anything sexual to Jill (who had the control device on their chest not because Wesker is a pervert but because the devs wanted more fanservice). I don't think Capcom would make a important character like Wesker (who you can also play as) a r@pist (unlike Irons who was a really hateable side character who was hated even by Wesker)

Thx for reading 😅

[amrv-5]

dashing off blog post on break between readings, not sure if coherent or even making a point so much as expressing a vague but recurrent disappointment as a late night looks like it's going to become an early morning... cw for pejorative mention of food/eating habits in relation to film portrayal, and a discussion of film portrayal of sexual violence post the cut:

Watched Sedmikrásky (Daisies) (1966) for a class today and personally found it funny, really wonderful, playful, confrontational and brilliant... had an incredible time watching it, deeply moved, found a greater appreciation for the experimental techniques it used... we've not had many female directors in this course series, and the few New Wave women we're getting have been such a personal revelation for me as a film watcher. Got excited to talk about the movie post-screening with my (male. all male) program friends (basically no female graduate students in the optional portion of the history series) but of course the first things these guys do immediately post-screening is trash the film, and not on formal grounds... Just complained about how "disgusting" and "offputting" the movie was, how it made one guy "not want to eat for the rest of the day" and "feel nauseated" and "wish he could have slept through more of it."

And what's so disgusting that a group of cis dudes who regularly watch sexploitation films and other grindhouse fare couldn't bear to watch it? Fucking. Movie where 2 conventionally attractive women: eat frequently and with a focus on enjoying food without performing delicateness for men (one woman boldly states 'I love food! I love eating!' and laughs at the disgust of the older man she and her friend are scamming for free dinner), including having a food fight; laugh and lean into physicality / bodily play (moving in funny ways for their own amusement, dancing, overapplying makeup, making unflattering faces, remapping their bodies in an extended joke sequence w/scissors; satirize stereotypes of women and expectations of behavior in patriarchal society. Etc.

Man! Point of all this being how frustrating it is to continually run up against unexamined misogyny again and again even in spaces that are supposed to be self-critical of these things. Literally what was so unbearably disgusting and threatening about watching a pretty lady on the movie screen say "I like eating cake" and then eating cake and having a food fight. How are you as a film academic more disgusted by playful feminist challenges (FROM NINETEEN FUCKING SIXTY SIX) to expectations of women's behavior than watching Bad Girls Go to Hell. Not saying that to be like There Is A Genre Of Film Which Is Morally Bad I've found thinking about some grindhouse stuff interesting/generative/whatever just it feels fucking nuts to me that a person would be comfortable sitting through scenes of explicit portrayed sexual violence against women and then go "ewww icky they had a lot of scenes where they were eating" and not see that you have a fundamental problem with misogyny in your worldview.

WAUGH! But the real problem now being is that these men are my friends, people I spend a lot of time with and thought very well of and do genuinely believe to be really decent, and even these guys who I trust and like had such a fundamentally awful response to the bare minimum of disrupting the idea that Maybe Women Aren't Just For You To Enjoy Looking At...?

I cannot overemphasize how fucking completely tame the "disgusting" parts of this movie are. This is the 'worst' scene in the whole film by these guys' criteria, and it's literally just 2 women eating cake and throwing it at each other and laughing and then doing a dance on a table.

Well anyway. IDK ! Not sure how to or if I even should try to bring it up again. I don't want to be responsible for being the Feminist to grown male colleagues who should know better but at the same time I was so offput by their reactions to the movie I almost feel like I can't let it go without at least gently asking at a later date if the dudes can elaborate on their "disgust" -- they made it explicitly clear it was about the eating, though, already, which seems like a lost cause. It's just women eating. Grow up. You'll live.

[sunjoys]

finally started the promised brideshead revisited reread <3 some prelim thoughts :(under the cut bc i got a bit chattier than i was expecting):

i read brideshead for the first time in feb 2022, and i did "annotate" it (scribbled thoughts and notes in pencil along the margins), so i may post the notes i took from that first read during this revisit <3

i love the preface !! (written by waugh abt a decade after it was published) this bit in particular:

its def smth to keep in mind while reading, esp since brideshead is now considered one of The british-country-house novels (part of why saltburn is so compared to brideshead! the director said that brideshead was one of the books in that "genre" that served as reference for saltburn); the note abt the house being a sort of museum nowadays also reminds me of orlando (by woolf, 1928) vs orlando (film adaptation dir. potter, 1992) - a key setting of the story, the great house (an ancestral british home in the countryside, orlandos home) ends differently: in the 20s novel, orlando lives there with her husband. in the 90s movie, the house has been turned into a 'museum', orlando can only visit it from afar. def interesting, the way the british country house changes pre and post ww2!

also "a panegyric preached over an empty coffin" is interesting to keep in mind - waugh approached writing abt nobility w the mindset that it was basically gone - half mourning, half idolising. kinda reminds me of nick carraways approach to gatsby in the great gatsby ;; anyway i think this is interesting bc off the top of my head, most recent media abt the wealthy/nobilty is either satirical/critical or fluffy/idolising with no real teeth to it (rwrb, bridgerton?), or somewhere in between (whatever the fuck was going on in saltburn) ! so yeah this'll be refreshing ig for me ?? idk where im going with this.

also "these ancestral seats which were our chief national artistic achievement" makes me laugh a little when i remember charles, the narrator, becomes a painter, particularly of noble houses. like hmmm there's definitely something of the author in this narrator 🤔

i feel like i should have a third point and i can't think of any. um. oh yeah the prologue! I like how it starts with charles looking back at the military camp as he leaves it, its not a particularly striking first line but it def establishes that, well, charles has a thing abt looking back at places he can't really return to - a thing about revisiting places, you could say [studio audience boos as the drums chime sadly[

it's pretty bleak at the start tho; during my first read i probably wouldn't have gotten past this if i didn't have my pencil w me (the promise of being able to scribble jokes in the margin if it remained boring) (it did not remain boring, btw). ig that'll make the introduction of brideshead more striking?

i am very excited about this reread <3

[wat-the-cur]

Top 5 books!!

Okay, I think it’s important to say at this point, that I am very, very much not well read. After hitting a certain age, I’ve read books in a very sparse and scattered way. It’s something I want to change, but developing new habits is difficult. Because I’ve not read a whole lot, I guess I haven’t found a whole lot of books I could hold up as favourites. I do have one absolute favourite that I could recommend until I’m blue in the face, and a few others that I would not say are favourites, but are still pretty special. So, that’s how I’ll lay this out.

Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh - Just...Just, uggghhh. I love this book so much. I actually saw the TV series first (which is one of the most perfect adaptations ever, please watch it), and because excerpts from the book were read in the narration, I could hear how beautiful the prose was. Not only is the prose utterly lush, though, for me, it’s very relatable emotionally and spiritually. It is also a book that has grown with me. Each time I read it, I found myself sympathising with a different character. No other book (and yes, like I’ve said I haven’t read many, but the point still stands) has really grown with me like that. It’s very personal, sort of like a home to me. So, yes, even if I do read other great books, this will always be a favourite.

And now, here are some books that I also enjoy and would recommend!

2. Granny by Anthony Horowitz - Now, hear me out. I first heard this one on a library audiobook as a child, and I loved it so much, my mother burned a copy for me. I credit this as being, not my first encounter with horror, but certainly a significant one. The concept of the story is that a significant portion of elderly ladies hate everyone, particularly their own families, and want to cause as much pain and trouble to them as possible. The story follows Jordan “Joe” Warden, as he becomes locked in a terrifying power struggle with his own Grandmother. What makes this story so unsettling, is that while the story has a surreal, absurd feel to it, it also has this odd realism to it. Granny is not a supernatural monster, she has no unusual powers, she is just a very selfish, very sadistic woman. She manipulates, she lies, she attacks, she even kills. The cruelty feels real, and that is a lot for a kids’ book. And for all that, it’s still very funny and a quick, easy read. I definitely recommend it for any horror fan, for some light reading.

3. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka - Okay, maybe I was wrong, maybe this is actually a favourite of mine. This story absolutely destroyed me when I first read it, not too long ago. I hadn’t cried over a book since I was about seven, but this one got me right in the gut. This story is very famous, but for any who don’t know what it’s about; Hard working salesman, Gregor, wakes one morning to find he has turned into a giant insect. The story is Gregor’s account of how his family learn to cope without his income, and treat him as a result.

4. The Go-Between by L. P. Hartley - Another very recent read, but one I really enjoyed! The story of a public school boy, Leo, who visits his friend’s stately home for the summer. There, his friend’s beautiful sister persuades him to act as her postman, and deliver letters between herself and a farm worker from a neighbouring estate. What I liked so much about this book, is that it is a very realistic portrayal of the workings of a child’s mind. It portrays the innocence, the arrogance, the petty selfishness, the silly fancies, without either romanticising, or judging them. Something that the story heavily subverts, however, is the idea of the purity of star crossed lovers. By portraying the relationship between the sister and the farmer through Leo, and his appointed task, we see the relationship in a different light than we might have, had the story been told through the couple’s perspective.

5. Scum by Roy Minton - This one is sort of cheating, because it’s actually a novelisation of a film. The 1977 TV film, which was later remade as a cinematic film in 1979, “Scum”. The story of the inner workings of an English borstal, and one boy’s climb to the top of the hierarchy. “Scum” is still a favourite film of mine, and the novel adds a lot that did not make either cut if the film. For a film novelisation, it is pretty well written. Quite simple and cut and dry, but it is fitting for the subject matter. As you can probably guess, being about the realities of borstal in the 1970s, it is a very brutal and gritty read. Major WARNING for rampant racism, violence, SA and suicide.

Wow, this was longer than I thought it would be! Thanks so much for sending this ask, buddy! I hope that it is at least a decent read.

[televisionforwhales]

EXTREMELY ready for the 41st timeline Magicians fic wherein they all remember but get to do it again with much less trauma:

-opens of course with Eliot lounging sluttily on the Brakebills sign and he shakily says his "Quentin Coldwater?" because they don't know if the time-travel perfume they spritzed on that bit of Q's soul preserved his memories but he's like "I....died? Um. Hello, hi. what?" Quentin gets reuinions with every one of them where they are properly upset about his death!

-Fogg doesn't have a goddamn clue how the timeline reset but they're handling the Beast way more efficiently this time and he didn't get his eyes yanked out, so, whatever. He'll toast to that. 

-Q feels a bit guilty about being in love with two people and asks for space, sure, but mostly he gets time to figure out how to be a person again and BREATHE

-when they get the god-killing knife they all push Margo to the front and hey, turns out she was qualified to be High King all along so she rules Fillory with her wife-and-eventual-girlfriend Fen. There is plenty of real Eliot&Margo (and marqueliot) bonding that we've been denied. She gets everything she wants.

-Julia and Kady jump right in to making those Hedgewitch connections and fixing the whole damn thing. Best Bitches Fall in Love along the way. They have a triad with Penny40. (Eventual demigoddess Julia??)

-Penny40 remembers the Underworld and there could be a The Good Place-esque afterlife overhaul, maybe. Mostly I care about Penny catching a fucking break!! And he has two girlfriends to dote on like the big softie he really is. 

-I honestly have trouble seeing qualice lasting in the long term, but I'm open to other interpretations (we know our boy is open to polyamory). More than anything I'm invested in them having a friendship. Like...being actual friends who enjoy each other's company without everything being so fraught constantly

-ALSO invested in the Librarian Alice content that was set up and got no follow thru. And since every Magicians woman is a WLW in my heart and she'd be building coalitions with the Hedgewitches AND Fillory... there's plenty of girlfriend material in addition to amazing plot material, just saying!!

-Eliot pointedly asks Kady to hangout on Tuesdays between 1:30-3 and she knows he knows that's when she has her Magicians Anonymous meetings so they make it a weekly thing and he always treats her to lunch and they never talk about recovery outside of that hour and a half meeting but they bond over being completely ride-or-die for their little super nerds

-I'm a simple creature, yes, Queliot will happen. I love the idea of a slow burn between two people who are already in love but have shit to work out first! And Q would be rightfully insecure over being rejected so Mr. Eliot "Acts of Service" Waugh gets to fucking full-out wine and dine him, just, like, woo the boy proper. It's ridiculous.

-Things aren't perfect but they're pretty great sometimes!

Bonus:

-I've already written about their lunches with Ted Coldwater. He isn't the Giles to their Scooby Gang so much as he listens in confusion and pats them all on the shoulder and calls them champ.

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

Okay start us out with those Magicians Opinions!

the first character i ever fell in love with:  LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT QUENTIN COLDWATER.  Okay, but yeah, they really introduced him in a way that worked-worked for me – that whole opening sequence that cuts between Quentin being tense and closed-off and miserable in this hollow, almost angry way in the office of the hospital, and Quentin trying to act normal at a party, making wan jokes while the misery and the anger leaks out of him and makes him just so unpalatable to be around – I mean, Jason Ralph just takes the character by the throat instantly and Goes There.  I remember thinking as I was watching it that this was the first “anxious nerd dude” character I'd ever seen who wasn't being framed as actually funny/weird/charming/vulnerable/the clear audience stand-in, but framed as if he were a real person who's really eaten up by depression and self-loathing, and just as off-putting as that is in real life.  I vividly remember just having that reaction of, “Oh. This is about someone who's really hanging on by his fingernails, not just Hollywood Depressed,” and latching on so hard, because I needed to see that so much, and I needed to root for him to find his reason, not in spite of but because as a character he was resistant to being liked by other people, by the audience. It's not loveable and charming, to hate yourself, to find your life barely tolerable.  It's not a position from which it's easy to see your way forward, and to me Quentin is the most honest expression of that reality that I had ever seen in genre tv.  So like, I get why some people didn't like him in first season – he's intentionally tough to like – but I was ultra-invested from minute one, and literally everything he ever said or did made me love him more.

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: I think I was kind of intrigued by Fen early on – I liked the idea that she was this naive fairy-tale girl who was going to have this harsh awakening when her Destined Prince turned out to be a real person who couldn't fulfill her fantasies, who was going to have to figure out who she was beyond “going to marry the king someday.”  That seemed like an interesting arc, and here and there they were kind of doing it – I love the realpolitik she occasionally comes out with, particularly that one scene on the boat when she's like, “The dipshits from my hometown are going to execute me because of you, so sticking with you is kind of my only option and that's just happening.”  But then...I don't know, she's really irritating, and they got this weird thing in their heads where her problem is that Eliot sucks, instead of that being The Girl Who Will Marry the King Someday is a sucky role to be forced into making a real life out of, and I just gave up trying to like her eventually.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: I liked Penny/Kady all right, until they started doing the weird thing where “in Doomed Love with Penny” was Kady's only emotional arc, like – they actually had her say that all she ever cared about was being Penny's girlfriend, and that's the kind of thing that kind of retroactively ruins the pairing for me.

my ultimate favorite character™: So after everything I said up top – it's actually Eliot.  That snuck up on me!  And my love for Quentin never went away, not by any means, but.  God, Eliot.

prettiest character: If I try to take an objective stance, I'd say it's probably Margo?  Like, she's just unearthly beautiful.  But there's something about Jason Ralph's goddamn face that – I don't know, it just enthralls me; he does okay-ish at playing Normal-Looking for TV, but also if I look at him for too long it kind of hurts, he's so stupidly gorgeous.

my most hated character: Hyman.  And I thought we were supposed to hate Hyman, but then season 5 allegedly happened, and everyone was like, aw, Hyman's okay!  But – no he's not?  He's obviously not okay? He deeply sucks?  Ugh, season 5.

my OTP: Hi, I'm Milo, and welcome to my Tumblr.  But yeah, it's Quentin/Eliot, canonical soulmates and The Ditch I Will Die In.

my NOTP: You know, they kind of wore me down to the point of “fine, what the fuck ever,” but I still don't support Margo/Josh.  It's bad, it's a bad relationship, it was a bad idea.

favorite episode: I really love Be the Penny, but the actual answer is Escape From the Happy Place.  I feel allegiance to Be the Penny, I have not a negative word to say about it, but Escape from the Happy Place is just a level beyond, it's astonishingly good.

saddest death: This question is a microaggression and I will not stand for it.

favorite season: I'm about to break your brain, but – it's 4!  It's season 4!  I fucking love the first ten episodes of s4!  I love the Monster, I love Bad News Bear, I love Hard Glossy Armor, I love fucking Santa Claus.  I think s4 has this great propulsive energy where the rest of the series has always been plagued by a tendency to kind of throw everything at the wall and see if anything sticks, the stakes are clear, the external villain and the emotional stuff work together for once, everyone's performances are so strong.  The collapse at the end feels so appalling to me in part because I was totally on the ride for most of the season.

least favorite season: I mean, it's season 5, but it didn't have to be.  I was never going to get over Quentin's death, per se, but I think there were ways to structure the next season that would've been workable, and honestly there are things about s5 that I do like.  I watched most of 5 feeling like it was – messy, but messy in the same way that s2 was messy, the same way The Magicians has always been a little messy, and it wasn't until the end when I really just threw up my hands and was like, okay, I get it, there was never a plan, none of this was going anywhere.  God, the last couple of episodes still frustrate me so much, because right up until that point, there was still time to salvage a lot of character work, but nope!

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: So I don't hate her, and in fact I came to kind of like her eventually, but I did actively hate Julia for a long, long time.  Just.  Like, she really – pushes my buttons in a very specific way, and if she were a real person I would absolutely love myself by having as little contact as possible with Julia, but because everyone except me loves her so much, I really kind of forced myself to delve into her and try to see what people liked about her, and I do think it was a pretty successful project.  I would definitely say at this point that I appreciate Julia as a character, and I have a pretty good sense of what Stuff she activates in me that produces that ruffled reaction, which has allowed me to go beyond Julia Sucks Actually to This Character Is Not Really For Me.  I love and support the 98% of fandom who like Julia!  In my way, I love and support Julia!  But kind of like – a sibling you're sort of forced to into a relationship with, that you love even though they drive you crazy and you're not too sure you will really ever like them.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: The Monster.  I mean, it's not that I wanted a redemption arc for him or anything (although @portraitofemmy has always been onto something with the idea that if the Monster is essentially a child, allowing Quentin to save the world by parenting him would've been a pretty clever payoff for long-term arcs), he's just the kind of villain that is just endlessly fun to watch.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: I mean, that's a pretty succinct summary of the entire Eliot Waugh Experience.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: With the caveat that I still don't believe in guilt because these are just imaginary people in imaginary stories, I definitely still think there's a great romantic tragedy right there for the taking with Eliot/Seb.  I wouldn't say the show should have done it, because that would obviously have been just a very different direction than they intended to go, but as a non-canonical ship, I think it's so potentially rich, and someday I'm going to have time to go back to that story I was writing about them, whether or not anyone else ever gives a shit about it.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: I never could figure out what people's issue was with Julia/Penny23, they seemed to make each other happy.  He was a sweet, supportive dude, and I like their little Wild Thornberrys Interdimensional Adventurers family at the end, although I wish they'd done it on purpose, because “guess what life-changing thing is happening to Julia's body without her consent this week!” was not a well the writers needed to go back to, in my opinion.  But I like the idea that Julia ends up with a good guy and a magic kid and is off doing quests and shit, the whole shebang, I thought that was a nice ending.  For whatever that's worth, and I imagine that from the perspective of a real Julia fan, my opinion at this point is not worth much!

[midnightprelude]

10 Characters I Would Kiss

Tagged by @pikapeppa​, thanks friend.

Dear god, 10?! Let me tell you something, dear reader. I love kissing. I would kiss all day and all night if I could somehow learn how to not eat and poop etc. I would kiss you dear reader, if you were close enough to make smooching possible. Picking 10 fictional characters to kiss, now that is something that tears at the very fiber of my being. 

I’m purposefully avoiding DA babies because I WOULD KISS THEM ALLLLLLLLLLLL (except okay, like Corypheus, no, sorry bro). 

But I am all about growth. Let’s do this. They’re in no particular order, here, except Newt is actually #1. 

1. Elizabeth Bennet

Because she’s the real star of that story, not tall, dark, and grumpy (though I love him and would smooch him too, let’s be real).

2. QUEEN ELSA

Maybe it’s because the new movie is IMMINENT, but I’m having feels for that lovely Ice Queen who deserves all the nice things, which apparently include a smooch from yours truly? Sorry Elsa.

3. Loki

THAT SMILE COULD MELT ALL OF JOTUNHEIM *screaming*.

4. Aragorn

All Hail the King of Gondor.

5. Margaery Tyrell

The Princess of Thorns, gone too soon.

6. Oberyn Martell

THE PRINCE WE DIDN’T DESERVE *still sobbing*.

7. Newt Scamander

NEWT YOU PERFECT MAN, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. He’s sensitive, loves animals, and is a bit of a rebel, but in the softest way possible. GOD. I LOVE HIM, OKAY?!

8. Hermione Granger

Okay, true story, I did a lot of HPRP when I was like 12-14 and always avoided Harry’s generation because people would ship Hermione with guys who DID NOT DESERVE HER and I would always get outraged and leave. NONE OF THOSE LOSERS DESERVE YOU, HONEY. XD

9. Edward Elric

Even if he would have to stand on his tip toes. :)

10. Elizabeth Swann

Okay, I have two Kiera characters on here now, so I’m pretty sure you all know who my celebrity crush is. But let me just say, Pirate Elizabeth is all I need in this life. ALSO another female character that nobody deserves. 

11. Eliot Waugh and Margo Hanson

BONUS: I love me some Fillorian royalty and would kiss them both any time, any day. Hopefully at the same time. AHHHHHH.

Tagging on to @johaeryslavellan​, @levikra​, @whimsyswastry​, @elveny​ and @faerieavalon​ if you haven’t already done this one. Tagging @lethendralis-paints​ and @tryvyalsynnes​ to await your judgement. XD

[wildeoaths]

LGBTQ Book & Film Recommendations

Hello! As someone who tries to read widely, it can sometimes be frustrating to find good (well-written, well-made) LGBTQ+ works of literature and film, and mainstream recommendations only go so far. This is my shortlist. 

Some caveats: 1) I have only watched/seen some of these, though they have all been well-received.

2) The literature list is primarily focused on adult literary and genre fiction, since that is what I mostly read, and I feel like it’s easier to find queer YA fiction. Cece over at ProblemsOfABookNerd (YT) covers a lot of newer releases and has a YA focus, so you can check her out for more recommendations.

3) There are a ton of good films and good books that either reference or discuss queer theory, LGBTQ history and literary theory. These tend to be more esoteric and academic, and I’m not too familiar with queer theory, so they’ve largely been left off the list. I do agree that they’re important, and reading into LGBTQ-coding is a major practice, but they’re less accessible and I don’t want to make the list too intimidating.

4) I linked to Goodreads and Letterboxd because that’s what I use and I happen to really enjoy the reviews.

Any works that are bolded are popular, or they’re acclaimed and I think they deserve some attention. I’ve done my best to flag potential objections and triggers, but you should definitely do a search of the reviews. DoesTheDogDie is also a good resource. Not all of these will be suitable for younger teenagers; please use your common sense and judgement.

Please feel free to chime in in the replies (not the reblogs) with your recommendations, and I’ll eventually do a reblog with the additions!

BOOKS

> YOUNG ADULT

Don’t @ me asking why your favourite YA novel isn’t on this list. These just happen to be the picks I felt might also appeal to older teens/twentysomethings.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo - poetry.

Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender - trans male teen protagonist. 

Red, White & Royal Blue

Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda

The Gentleman’s Guide To Vice And Virtue

The Raven Boys (and Raven Cycle)

> LITERATURE: GENERAL

This list does skew M/M; more NB, trans and WLW recommendations are welcomed!

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. One of the most acclaimed contemporary LGBTQ novels and you’ve probably heard of it. Will probably make you cry.

A Single Man by Christopher Isherwood. Portrait of a middle-aged gay man.

Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh. M/M affair, British student high society; definitely nostalgic for the aristocracy so be aware of the context.

Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman. It’s somewhat controversial, it’s gay, everyone knows the film at least.

Cronus’ Children / Le Jardin d'Acclimation by Yves Navarre. Winner of the Goncourt prize.

Dancer From The Dance by Andrew Holleran. A young man in the 1970s NYC gay scene. Warning for drugs and sexual references.

Dorian, An Imitation by Will Self. Adaptation of Orscar Wilde’s novel. Warning for sexual content.

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg. Two wlw in the 1980s. Also made into a film; see below.

Gemini by Michel Tournier. The link will tell you more; seems like a very complex read. TW for troubling twin dynamics.

Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin. Another iconic M/M work.

Lost Boi by Sassafras Lowrey. A queer punk reimagining of Peter Pan. Probably one of the more accessible works on this list!

Lie With Me by Philippe Besson. Two teenage boys in 1980s France.

Maurice by E. M. Forster. Landmark work written in 1914. Also made into a film; see below.

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. An expansive (and long) novel about the story of Cal, a hermaphrodite, by the author of The Virgin Suicides.

Orlando by Virginia Woolf. Plays with gender, time and space. Virginia Woolf’s ode to her lover Vita Sackville-West. What more do you want? (also a great film; see below).

Oscar Wilde’s works - The Picture of Dorian Gray would be the place to start. Another member of the classical literary canon.

Saga, vol.1 by Brian K. Vaughn and Fiona Staples. Graphic novel; warning for sexual content.

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinburg. An acclaimed work looking at working-class lesbian life and gender identity in pre-Stonewall America.

The Holy Innocents by Gilbert Adair. The basis for Bertolucci’s The Dreamers (2003). I am hesitant to recommend this because I have not read this, though I have watched the film; the M/M dynamic and LGBTQ themes do not seem to be the primary focus. Warning for sexual content and incestuous dynamics between the twins.

The Animals At Lockwood Manor by Jane Healey. Plays with gothic elements, set during WW2, F/F elements.

The Hours by Michael Cunningham. References Woolf’s Mrs Dalloway. Probably a good idea to read Virginia Woolf first.

The Immoralist by André Gide. Translated from French.

The Song of Achilles by Madeline MIller. Drawing from the Iliad, focusing on Achilles and Patroclus. Contemporary fantasy that would be a good pick for younger readers.

The Swimming Pool Library by Alan Hollinghurst. Gay life pre-AIDS crisis. Apparently contains a fair amount of sexual content.

What Belongs To You by Garth Greenwell. A gay man’s coming of age in the American South.

> LITERATURE: WORLD LITERATURE

American and Western experiences are more prominent in LGBTQ works, just due to the way history and the community have developed, and the difficulties of translation. These are English and translated works that specifically foreground the experiences of non-White people living in (often) non-Western societies. I’m not white or American myself and recommendations in this area are especially welcomed.

All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M. Johnson. The memoirs and essays of a queer black activist, exploring themes of black LGBTQ experiences and masculinity.

A People’s History of Heaven by Mathangi Subramanian. Female communities and queer female characters in a Bangalore slum. A very new release but already very well received.

Confessions of a Mask by Yukio Mishima. Coming-of-age in post-WW1 Japan. This one’s interesting, because it’s definitely at least somewhat autobiographical. Mishima can be a tough writer, and you should definitely look into his personality and his life when reading his work.

Disoriental by Négar Djavadi. A family saga told against the backdrop of Iranian history by a queer Iranian woman. Would recommend going into this knowing at least some of the political and historical context.

How We Fight For Our Lives by Saeed Jones. A coming-of-age story and memoir from a gay, black man in the American South.

In The Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado. Another acclaimed contemporary work about the dynamics of abuse in LGBTQ relationships. Memoir.

Girl, Woman, Other by Bernardine Evaristo. Contemporary black British experience, told from the perspectives of 12 diverse narrators.

> POETRY

Crush by Richard Siken. Tumblr loves Richard Siken, worth a read.

Diving Into The Wreck by Adrienne Rich.

He’s So Masc by Chris Tse.

If Not, Winter: Fragments of Sappho, trans. Anne Carson. The best presentation of Sappho we’re likely to get.

Lord Byron’s works - Selected Poems may be a good starting point. One of the Romantics and part of the classical literary canon.

Les Fleurs du Mal by Charles Baudelaire. The explicitly lesbian poems are apparently in the les fleurs du mal section.

> MEMOIR & NONFICTION

And The Band Played On: Politics, People and the AIDS Epidemic by Randy Shilts. An expansive, comprehensive history and exposure of the failures of media and the Reagan administration, written by an investigative journalist. Will probably make you rightfully angry.

How to Survive A Plague: The Inside Story of How Citizens and Science Tamed AIDS by David France. A reminder of the power of community and everyday activism, written by a gay reporter living in NYC during the epidemic.

Indecent Advances: The Hidden History of Murder and Masculinity Before Stonewall by James Polchin. True crime fans, this one’s for you. Sociocultural history constructed from readings of the news and media.

Queer: A Graphic History by Meg-John Barker. It’s illustrated, it’s written by an academic, it’s an easier introduction to queer theory. I still need to pick up a copy, but it seems like a great jumping-off point with an overview of the academic context.

Real Queer America by Samantha Allen. The stories of LGBTQ people and LGBTQ narratives in the conservative parts of America. A very well received contemporary read.

The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson. Gender, pregnancy and queer partnership. I’m not familiar with this but it is quite popular.

When Brooklyn Was Queer by Hugh Ryan. LGBTQ history of Brooklyn from the nineteenth century to pre-Stonewall.

FILMS

With films it’s difficult because characters are often queercoded and we’re only now seeing films with better rep. This is a shortlist of better-rated films with fairly explicit LGBTQ coding, LGBTQ characters, or made by LGBTQ persons. Bolded films are ones that I think are likely to be more accessible or with wider appeal.

A Single Man (2009) - Colin Firth plays a middle-aged widower.

Blue Is The Warmest Colour (2013) - A controversial one. Sexual content.

Booksmart (2019) - A pretty well made film about female friendship and being an LGBTQ teen.

Boy Erased (2018) - Warning for conversion therapy.

BPM (Beats Per Minute) (2017) - Young AIDS activists in France.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) - Cowboy gays. This film is pretty famous, do you need more summary? Might make a good triple bill with Idaho and God’s Own Country.

Cabaret (1972) - Liza Minelli. Obvious plug to also look into Vincent Minelli.

Calamity Jane (1953) - There’s a lot that could be said about queer coding in Hollywood golden era studio films, but this is apparently a fun wlw-cowboy westerns-vibes watch. Read the reviews on this one!

Call Me By Your Name (2017) - Please don't debate this film in the notes.

Caravaggio (1986) - Sean Bean and Tilda Swinton are in it. Rather explicit.

Carol (2015) - Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara are lesbians in 1950s America.

Clouds of Sils Maria (2014) - Hard to summarise, but one review calls it “lesbian birdman” and it has both Juliette Binoche and Kristen Stewart in it, so consider watching it.

Colette (2018) - About the bi/queer female writer Colette during the belle epoque era. This had Keira Knightley so by all rights Tumblr should love it.

Fried Green Tomatoes (1991) - Lesbian love in 1920s/80s? America.

God’s Own Country (2017) - Gay and British.

Happy Together (1997) - By Wong Kar Wai. No further explanation needed.

Heartbeats (2010) - Bi comedy.

Heartstone (2016) - It’s a story about rural Icelandic teenagers.

Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party (2015) -  Queer teens and religious themes.

Je, Tu, Il, Elle (1974) - Early Chantal Akerman. Warning for sexual scenes.

Kill Your Darlings (2013) - Ginsberg, Kerouac and the Beat poets.

Love, Simon (2018)

Lovesong (2016) - Lesbian and very soft. Korean-American characters.

Love Songs (2007) - French trio relationship. Louis Garrel continues to give off non-straight vibes.

Mädchen In Uniform (1931) - One of the earliest narrative films to explicitly portray homosexuality. A piece of LGBTQ cinematic history.

Maurice (1987) - Adaptation of the novel.

Midnight Cowboy (1969) - Heavy gay coding.

Milk (2008) - Biopic of Harvey Milk, openly gay politician. By the same director who made My Own Private Idaho.

Moonlight (2016) - It won the awards for a reason.

My Own Private Idaho (1991) - Another iconic LGBTQ film. River Phoenix.

Mysterious Skin (2004) - Go into this film aware, please. Young actors, themes of prostitution, child ab*se, r***, and a lot of trauma.

Orlando (1992) - An excellent adaptation of Virginia Woolf’s novel, and in my opinion far more accessible. Watch it for the queer sensibilities and fantastic period pieces.

Pariah (2011) - Excellent coming-of-age film about a black lesbian girl in Brooklyn.

Paris is Burning (1990) - LANDMARK DOCUMENTARY piece of LGBTQ history, documenting the African-American and Latine drag and ballroom roots of the NYC queer community.

Persona (1966) - It’s an Ingmar Bergman film so I would recommend knowing what you’re about to get into, but also I can’t describe it because it’s an Ingmar Bergman film.

Picnic At Hanging Rock (1975) - Cult classic queercoded boarding school girls.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019) - By Celine Sciamma, who’s rapidly establishing herself in the mainstream as a LGBTQ film director. This is a wlw relationship and the queer themes are reflected in the cinematic techniques used. A crowd pleaser.

Pride (2014) - Pride parades with a British sensibility.

Rebel Without A Cause (1955) - Crowd-pleaser with bi coding and James Dean. The OG version of “you’re tearing me apart!”.

Rocketman (2019) - It’s Elton John.

Rent (2005) - Adaptation of the stage musical. Not the best film from a technical standpoint. I recommend the professionally recorded 2008 closing night performance instead.

Rope (1948) - Hitchcock film.

Sorry Angel (2018) - Loving portraits of gay French men.

Talk To Her (2002) - By Spanish auteur Pedro Almodóvar.

Tangerine (2015) - About trans sex workers. The actors apparently had a lot of input in the film, which was somehow shot on an iPhone by the same guy who went on to do The Florida Project. 

The Duke of Burgundy (2014) - Lesbians in an S&M relationship that’s going stale, sexual content obviously.

The Gay Deceivers (1969) - The reviews are better than me explaining.

The Handmaiden (2016) - Park Chan-wook makes a film about Korean lesbians and is criminally snubbed at the Oscars. Warning for sexual themes and kink.

The Favourite (2018) - Period movie, and lesbian.

Thelma And Louise (1991) - An iconic part of LGBTQ cinematic history. That is all.

The Celluloid Closet (1995) - A look into LGBTQ cinematic history, and the historical contexts we operated in when we’ve snuck our narratives into film.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018) - Adaptation of the YA novel.

The Neon Demon (2016) - Apparently based on Elizabeth Bathory, the blood-drinking countess. Very polarising film and rated R.

The Perks of Being A Wallflower (2012) - Book adaptation. It has Ezra Miller in it I guess.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) - No explanation needed, queer and transgressive vibes all the way.

They (2017) - Gender identity, teenagers.

Those People (2015) - They’re gay and they’re artists in New York.

Tomboy (2011) - One of the few films I’ve seen dealing with gender identity in children (10 y/o). Celine Sciamma developing her directorial voice.

Tropical Malady (2004) - By Thai auteur Apichatpong Weerasethakul. His is a very particular style so don’t sweat it if you don’t enjoy it.

Vita and Virginia (2018) - Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville-West biopic

Water Lilies (2007) - Celine Sciamma again! Teenage lesbian coming-of-age. 

When Marnie Was There (2014) - A Studio Ghibli film exploring youth, gender and sexuality.

Weekend (2011) - An indie film about young gay love.

Wilde (1997) - It’s a film about Oscar Wilde.

XXY (2007) - About an intersex teenager. Reviews on this are mixed.

Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001) - Wonder what Diego Luna was doing before Rogue One? This is one of the things. Warning for sexual content.

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

so my own instinct about eliot is that he viscerally associates country music very strongly with what he thinks of as like red state culture, the world that he cultivated his self-presentation and interests and skills and aesthetics and tastes to bring him infinitely far away from, and so once he hears the slightest hint of twang he stops really responding or engaging with a song. like i feel like there’s a temptation to make him really care about kacey musgraves especially wrt follow your arrow , but i don’t know if he does because i feel like maybe he hears that particular style of guitar i don’t know the words for because i don’t know anything and is just like, Nope, Bye. especially since that song came out in 2013 so he would have been out of indiana and therefore not really in need of the particular kind of contextualized lifeline that could offer, but also not long enough out to have been able to recalibrate his associations and approach the music in a less personal manner. that’s my general impulse, but i’m a near-lifelong coastal (sub)/urbanite who has pretty much never heard country music i didn’t myself put on (which to be clear i don’t do... often, i’m just saying it’s not a part of my ambient life that shows up incidentally in memories) and i am given to understand that country music is a thing about which Liberal People From Conservative Towns (an imperfect framing but you get what i mean) are liable to have complicated feelings about so i’m hugely open to alternative possibilities.

meanwhile, it is very tempting to imagine particular exceptions, partly because i’ve really never seen a fictional character whose musical taste i like legitimately headcanoned as overlapping so much with mine as eliot (like obviously we all had fun thinking about bucky barnes listening to rilo kiley in 2014, but that’s very different from me being like, 1000%, eliot has a britney album ranking and #1 is, correctly, blackout), and partly because like, my own interest in country music is very much the spitfire woman archetypes which it’s easy to see eliot being into for similar reasons as he definitely loves tori amos (who is not a... spitfire, i would not use that word, but it’s like about women reclaiming violence and... whatever, we’re all adults here, you get it). i mean, the other reason i’m not personally inclined to see him as a kacey person is that i personally find her somewhat overrated (scandal! i know! follow your arrow slaps! merry-go-round is gorgeous! and Also She Has Other Songs, Which Are, To My Ear, Uniformly......Fine). so like, i like to imagine eliot makes an exception for miranda lambert, poetess of the Unhinged, whose first single at age 20 was about burning down someone’s house, who loves to snarl and wild out and shoot abusive husbands and break shit. but at the same time she does sing with a lot of not uncomplicated but sincere affection for small town life, and i don’t know that eliot is like ready to accept those kind of paeans to the world that for him was so violent and unwelcoming.

carrie underwood in general is interesting, because carrie underwood, i don’t know if you know this? but she like for real grew up on a farm. like a legit actual farm. not like a taylor swift daughter of bankers property next to a christmas tree farm farm, like a farm. it’s a funny thing where her aesthetics as an artist are very glossy and polished in a way that makes some people think Manufactured because she came into the recording industry via idol, but like she’s legitimately a country singer who grew up on an actual farm until the day she left for the hollywood round. she’s also not a songwriter herself, and i’m not super familiar with her overall body of work but my impression is she doesn’t have a super defined attitude or stance. her persona is a little blank: like who is carrie underwood? i dunno, but she can sure sing. i mean, the album of hers i’ve listened to her most is literally called “storyteller,” and the idea as far as there is one is just that: she’s there with her powerful voice and her musical and dramatic intelligence, telling us stories she liked enough to perform. there’s a part of me that feels like because of the extent to which she is purely a performer, there might be some distance there that eliot can appreciate. also, while she is a very successful country singer making millions of dollars singing country song, her career as she’s gained success and therefore agency over it definitely does seem to have shifted away from the jesus take the wheel pandering inanity the post-idol production machine slotted her into, which is respectable. (i’m too lazy to go on a fact-check hunt but i feel like i remember reading somewhere that she had to fight to get before he cheats on her first album, which,... sigh.)

anyway, that’s all a long way of saying that i don’t really feel like i have the expertise to say whether eliot waugh has a favorite country song or even is capable of having a favorite country song. but i do feel like, whatever his own preferences, we can all agree that carrie underwood’s iconic single blown away, a song about how if you hate your shithead dad enough god might do you a solid and kill him with a tornado, is in spirit at least if not in practice very much an eliot waugh anthem.

[sapphicambitions]

okay so ive spent the past few days thinking about a specific Dynamic and I know it’s one that’s pretty popular and Im sure other people have written more at length about it, but I personally have a lot of thoughts and I’m going to share them now.

The Dynamic is what I’m calling the Eager Sunshine and the Suave Kittycat.

Let’s start with the Eager Sunshine.

The Eager Sunshine is all that is good and pure in the world. And they truly believe in the good in the world. They’d be the kind of person to truly believe in the power of music or magic or happy endings. They wear their heart on their sleeve and aren’t afraid to express what they feel, never shying away from expressing anything from happiness to anger. They’re an idealist, always chasing to see the glass half full and believing in the good nature of other people. They’re inspiring just by the way they exist, and that positive effect ripples into everyone they meet. Everything they’ve gone through in life has only made them kinder. Some might call them stupid or naive, or see their positivity as a fault. But it’s what makes them special and stand out from the crowd. They don’t necessarily seek to find themselves in the spotlight, but it just kind of happens. People flock to them and latch on to them because they want a small sliver of the sunshine that radiates off of them.

Now their counterpart, the Suave Kittycat.

Like dark and light, ups and downs, the Suave Kittycat is a direct contrast. First impressions are often wrong of this person because they come off as cold or as an asshole. They’re not at all either of those things, but there is a very thick emotional wall up between them and the world. And it’s because they’ve had a hard or troubled past, and they learned to bite at the world before it snaps at you first. They keep their emotions close to their chest so that they don’t get hurt again, so they can protect what’s left of their broken heart. Often times, they have a facade up to most of the world, and it’s incredibly hard to break down their walls and get to the REAL them. A bit of a pessimist, they tend to isolate themselves and latch onto only one or two people. These characters are often comparable to cats.

How they work together:

Upon first meeting, the Suave Kittycat is enamored with the Eager Sunshine. A bumbling and excited cutie comes stumbling into their life, and they’re immediately drawn to them. And the Eager Sunshine is, of course, drawn to the mysterious and sexy Suave Kittycat. Why wouldn’t they be? But the Suave Kittycat, who is Wiser and Not Naive, thinks that they need to take the Eager Sunshine under their wing and teach them about the evil ways of the world. In reality though, it’s the Eager Sunshine who winds up teaching them about the joy and beauty of life. And it often surprises the Suave Kittycat how much they learn from their little sunshine, and how it allows them to see the world in a whole new light. When together, they balance each other out. When the Eager Sunshine needs to be brought back down to reality, the Suave Kittycat is there to guide them back with a gentle hand. When the Suave Kittycat needs to be brought out of their dark place, the Eager Sunshine is there to radiate. And so on.

Flirting:

This is my favorite part about the dynamic and the part I’ve thought about the most. The Suave Kittycat gets it’s name primarily because they are SUAVE. Their flirting is sexy and poetic, with their words and body language, meaning to sweep you off your feet and knock the air out of your chest. It often comes along with the facade they have built up, because they chose every word and every interaction carefully and with a lot of though. This suave way of flirting works VERY well for them, especially on someone as eager and easily flustered as their sunshine. And the Eager Sunshine is in fact, VERY eager with all things love related. Since they’re eager and since they wear their heart on their sleeve and they’re a bit of a loving disaster, they don’t really….flirt. The Sunshine is more likely to walk up to their Kittycat and say “Hey, so do you want to make out?” It can be read as forward, but it’s only because the Sunshine has so much love in their chest that they almost don’t know what to do with it, and it slips out in blunt flirting. And it knocks the Suave Kittycat on their ass. Here they are, quoting lines of poetry and whipping out all the flirting stops, and this adorable disaster just blurts out what they’re thinking and feeling. And works REALLY well between them.

Some examples:

Orpheus & Eurydice from Hadestown (m/f)

Orpheus is THE Eager Sunshine, the boy who wears his heart on his sleeve and shows you what the world could be. He inspires a revolution just purely by the love in his heart, and reminds the gods of the song of their love. And the first thing he says to Eurydice? “Come home with me. I’m the man who’s going to marry you,” WHAT AN ADORABLE DISASTER. Eurydice is the Suave Kittycat. Her love is poetic and true, but she guards her heart close to her chest, and is known for running away. And she needed her Orpheus to show her how the world could be. (It’s okay, we won’t think about how their story ended, just right now. Their love was true and that’s what mattered.)

Carmilla & Laura from Carmilla (f/f)

Carmilla is THE Suave Kittycat. She’s a centuries old vampire who doesn’t believe in love anymore, until the spunky blonde Laura Hollis comes tumbling into her life. Carmilla is known for quoting poets and philosophers and generally being a nihilist. This is a strong contrast to young and eager Laura, a literal ray of sunshine. Laura leads the people of her university to overthrow the vampiric tyrants and saves lives, and while Carmilla certainly thought that Laura was a naive and stupid little girl at first, she learns to appreciate Laura’s bright optimism and ferocity for justice. The pair works together to save the world and grow together and balance each other out in lovely ways.

Quentin & Eliot from The Magicians (m/m)

Anyone who knows Quentin Coldwater knows that he is the kind of man who makes you see the beauty of all life. He may not always be the hero of the story, but he’s the hero of everyone’s hearts. People flock to him because he really, truly believes in magic, and it’s inspiring to everyone around him. When Quentin first meets his Suave Kittycat Eliot Waugh, Eliot takes him under his wing to mentor the poor young, sweet naive little Q. But it’s Quentin’s influence that teaches Eliot to open himself up to receiving true love, and seeing the beauty of all life. Eliot is also a classic Suave Kittycat, seductive and guards his emotions close to his chest. He’s also famous for the quote “Becoming me was the greatest creative project of my life,” The pair work incredibly well together, balancing each other out and being each other’s best supporters and friends. They loved each other deeply, and they were able to love each other in multiple universes and timelines.

In Conclusion

The Eager Sunshine and The Suave Kittycat is a fun romantic dynamic. And it often surprises the characters themselves, because “How could I fall for someone like that?” But they do and they become better people because of it, and the world becomes a better place because of their love. And I have a lot of feelings.

[three-course-fillorian-feast]

Queliot AU fic recs

I know essentially ALL Queliot fics these days are AU to a degree (ie, AU - canon divergence/s4 finale? I don’t know her) But here are some of my favorite AU fics that I’ve read recently that are at least somewhat more firmly in full-on AU territory. (I think I’ve already recced half of these at some point, but look, a nice organized list format!)

Also I think most of these are WIPs. So read them, if for no other reason, then so I’m not suffering alone.

Major Canon Divergence AUs 

Something Good by HMGfanfic. Teen, 162k words.

In every possible timeline, Quentin and Eliot find their way to each other. Including this one. No Beast, no quests, yet including the greatest challenge of all—a timeline where Quentin’s exam guide and first friend was, uh… Todd. Rom-com fun, for the soul.

Reccing for: It’s a fun, long read you can lose yourself in and only briefly want to pull your hair out in frustration at their complete inability to communicate.

WIP - don’t ruin this on me by @disasterbiquentin Explicit, 99k so far

The beauty of all life can mean a lot of things. In this world, Quentin and Eliot stumble across the mosaic’s solution two years in, and are sent back to the present, to finish the quest with their friends.

Everything should be perfect. The only problem is, in those two years, Quentin and Eliot have started sleeping together, and fallen madly in love — but neither will admit it. And as they try to hook up, hide it from their friends, hide their real feelings from each other, and finish the Keys Quest to bring back magic, the events of season 3 will be changed forever.

Reccing for: The fun parts are delightfully fluffy and sexy, and the feelings parts are hands-wringingly frustrating. So it’s an impressive balance of being simultaneously satisfying and infuriating.

Non-Magic AUs

Ask Me, I Won’t Say No by veganhailseitan. Explicit, 22k words.

the one where no one has magic and Quentin and Eliot are just normal thirty-somethings who play on opposing Pub Trivia teams and they get to fall in love like real people dammit

Reccing for: this is the fic that made me realize I’m a slut for Single Dad!Quentin fics. 

WIP - Pretty Good Year by Hth. Explicit, 31k so far

What's it gonna take til my baby's all right?

Well, still. Pretty good year.

Reccing for: Lord, just for everything, is that an answer? Single Dad!Quentin! Margo and Eliot as complicated roommates! Awkward flirty texting! Smooth flirty texting! Richly grounded! Funny! Sexy! All at the same time.

WIP - Just Lay in the Atmosphere by veganhailseitan. Explicit, 9k words so far.

Quentin is a YA Author, Eliot is a FuzzBeat producer. They're forced to spend a week together when Eliot get's stuck making a video about Quentin's non-existent new novel. Things get complicated when they each realize they slept together three years ago.

Reccing for: This is one of the WIPs on this list where its universe is so immediately immersive and clear, that I’m waiting for updates with bated breath because I want more of this world.

Wildly Different Universe AUs

WIP - True Love Will Follow You Forever by @chthonicillness Teen, 22k so far

Teddy isn't feeling well. Quentin puts a personal spin on an Earth classic.

Reccing for: this is a retelling of the Princess Bride, with domestic interludes in the mosaic timeline, where Quentin’s telling the story. The main story’s cute and the interludes are adorable fluff.

WIP - Our Sublime Refrain by @summersteve and @queliotpasta Explicit, 53k words so far

In the Year of Our Lord 1836, Eliot Waugh is the most celebrated virtuoso pianist on the European continent. His concerts draw swooning fans, his compositions draw the acclaim of the aristocracy and the jealousy of his rivals, and his well-known adoration for his wife draws the sighs of ladies all over Europe. His life with Lady Margo is decadent, cosmopolitan, secretly unconventional, and above all Romantic.

In the midst of all his good fortunes, an undiscovered talent catches Eliot's eye, ear, and heart. His smile haunts Eliot's dreams, and his music draws him to the very height of the sublime. Who is this Quentin Coldwater?

Risking all, Eliot, Quentin, and Margo embark on a journey that will challenge their fears, ignite their deepest longings, and dare them to hope for the forbidden.

Reccing for: the world of this fic is so fully realized and flawlessly executed. It sucks you in completely.

WIP - Saltwater by @summersteve Explicit, 25k words so far

Eliot Waugh is a pirate king, looking for a doctor to serve on his ship.

Quentin Coldwater is a doctor, although he's more of a naturalist than a surgeon. He's about to be offered a new job.

Reccing for: this is just straight-up delicious. Like Our Sublime Refrain, the world of the fic is delightfully well crafted and executed. The premise could’ve ended up cheesy, but instead, it’s just GOOD AF. PIRATE KING ELIOT IS ELIOT IN HIS PUREST FORM.

I Need You So Much Closer by @orchardsinsnow Mature, 14k.

Eliot’s life looks like a dream: he’s a wildly successful musician, touring the world with his brilliant bandmate and BFF Margo and—what’s his name?—oh, right. Todd. Eliot’s secret: the last time he was truly happy, he was surviving on ramen and store-brand peanut butter in a ramshackle rented house with a man who, in retrospect, was the love of his life. You live and you learn. He’s made peace with it. Until, one day, Margo routes their tour through a city on the other side of the ocean—the city where Quentin lives.

Totally AU, no magic at all unless you consider music, sex, and love to be magic. And I hope you like Eliot spending time in his feelings.

Reccing for: this could just be called "The One Where Q and El Are Finally Fucking Good at Using Their Words" because they are and it is glorious and lovely

[ijustreallylovezebras]

Courtney’s Crisis Writing Challenge

So yeah as I’m sure all of you are aware of by now I’m having a crisis

and I figured what better way to deal with an emotional crisis than to do a writing challenge and read all the wonderful thing’s y’all can write to distract myself from my ever-growing list of responsibilities

maybe i should change it to Courtney’s Procrastination and Existential Worry Writing Challenge instead

ANYWAY

This is a whole-ass mega writing challenge, going across ALL the people I’ve ever written for and all the people I lowkey want to write for/kinda have a current obsession/love for atm

I’ll give a full comprehensive list below the rules 

But yeah this is going to have an English Literature theme bc I’m a nerd like that and have been reading too many books lately, again, to distract myself

So the prompts are split into three categories - “The Heartbreakingly Beautiful”, “The Hilariously Relateable” and “Fuck I’m Drowning In Fluff”

yeah the categories are just what went through my mind when I read the things these authors wrote

The Rules

1) You don’t have to be following me but it would be nice because I’m lonely and want friends plz

2) If your piece of writing is over 500 words, please use the ‘read more’ feature

3) Reblog this post to get the word out (and tag anyone who may be interested!)

4) It’s going to be one person per prompt but if needed I can add more prompts

5) Smut is fine but please leave warnings as appropriate (THOUGH NO UNDERAGE CHARACTER SMUT THANKS)

6) On the back of that one, no inappropriate pairings pleaseeeeee

7) Also please make sure you leave appropriate warnings at the beginnings of fics if any sensitive subjects are brought up (e.g. mental health etc)

8) Ships and OC’s are welcome

9) Tag me in your writing! - on any of my blogs or all three if you’re keen whoooo

10) Use the hashtag #CourtsCrisisWC

11) If you want to enter send me an ask with the prompt you want and the pairing you’ll be writing it with - again the ask can be sent to either of my writing blogs

12) The deadline for this is 15th December (this can be extended if y’all need it)

Characters/People/Pairings

Okay so imma split this section into parts real quick

Main Blog

1) Pretty much anyone from the MCU is welcome - with the exception of Tony Stark and Clint Barton

2) Tom Holland & Harrison Osterfield and HOCO cast and the Holland boys (NOT PADDY) 

3) Any of Les Amis

4) The characters from Peaky Blinders as well

5) Poly ships (e.g. Steve x Reader x Bucky or Tom x Reader x Harrison)

Side Blog

1) Ben Hardy (+ Warren Worthington)

2) Joe Mazzello (+ Eugene Sledge, Gardner Langway, Pat Murray, Dr Tim Murphy)

3) Gwilym Lee (+ Charlie Nelson)

4) (BoRhap!)Queen members (Freddie only platonically)

5) Roger x Reader x Ben

6) Joe x Reader x Ben

7) The Hargreeves Children (older!Five only)

8) Richard Madden (+ David Budd, Robb Stark, Prince Kit)

9) Taron Egerton (+ Eggsy)

10) Rocketman!Bernie Taupin and Ray Williams

11) Smosh Members

12) Jake Gyllenhaal (+ all his various characters)

13) Chris Evans (+ Ari Levinson, Frank Adler)

Just For Funsies (i.e. current obsessions I don’t officially write for but lowkey want to)

1) Ashton Irwin

2) Calum Hood

3) Sebastian Stan (+ Chris Beck)

tbh y’all can just send me a person and I’ll let you know if I’m cool with you writing for them but judging by this list I think you can rest fairly assured that I’m going to be okay with whoever you want to write for

Prompts

The Heartbreakingly Beautiful

“I have measured out my life in coffee spoons” - The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S Eliot // the most beautiful and wonderful poem ever written don’t fight me on this // ( @writingsoftheloser w/ BLANK)

“I am so busy keeping my head above water that I scarcely know who I am, much less who anyone else is” - The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

“Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do you start missing everybody” - The Catcher In The Rye by J.D Salinger ( @takenbyheartstrings w/ Peter Parker)

“I should have made it as hard for you to leave me as it is now for me to leave you” - Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë ( @bensakindofmagic w/ Ben Hardy)

"The universe is bigger than anything that can fit into your mind." - Love Letters To The Dead by Ava Dellaira ( @petersfreckles w/ Peter Parker)

“You never forget the face of the person that is your last hope” - The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins ( @tom-holland-stuff w/ BLANK)

“Hope may be the thing that pulls you forward (may be the thing that keeps you going) but that it’s painful and dangerous and risky it’s making a dare to the world and when has the world ever let us win a dare?” - The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness

“We can't fight another person's battle, no matter how much we want to.” - Holding Up The Universe by Jenifer Niven

“I'm sure I never used to be so sensitive. I think it is due to this nervous condition.” - The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

“Sometimes, I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there's no room for the present at all.” - Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh

The Hilariously and Painfully Relatable

“As far as I'm concerned, I came out of the womb spouting cynicism and wishing for rain.” - Solitaire by Alice Oseman

“Real courage is when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.” - To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good." - East of Eden by John Steinbeck ( @queen-paladin w/ Joe/Eugene/Charlie/Les Amis boy)

"We cross our bridges as we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and the presumption that once our eyes watered." - Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead by Tom Stoppard ( @lilulo-12 w/ Bucky)

"It's just that…I just think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It's the universe's way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It's how life is." - The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen ( @sataninsatin w/ Detective Loki)

“It was books that made me feel that I was not completely alone” - The Night Circus by Erin Mogenstern

“Was there some kind of rule against drop kicking arseholes in the face? Probably. They always had rules against things that needed to be done” - Made You Up by Francesca Zappia

“I would challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed” - Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare ( @icantspellanything w/ Poe Dameron)

“Some people are born with an ear for music, some people are born with a talent for drawing, some people...have a built-in radar that tells them where a comma needs to go in a sentence.” - Our Chemical Hearts by Krystal Sutherland

“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.” I Am The Messenger by Marcus Zusak

Fuck I’m Drowning In Fluff 

“You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you” - Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin ( @mavalenovaninagavi w/ Andrew Garfield!Peter Parker)

“I love her, and that’s the beginning and end of everything” - The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Flitzgerald ( @angiefangirlworld-2 w/ Ben Hardy)

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” - Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë ( @fichoe21 w/ Bucky)

"The curves of your lips rewrite history." - Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde ( @sarahp879 w/ Bucky)

"[BLANK] was right. [They] never looked nice. [They] looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something." - Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell ( @writing-of-a-british-bitch w/ Eggsy/Warren)

“Here’s my secret. It’s quite simple: One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“Love is worth everything. Everything.” - Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon

“I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace,  against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.” - Great Expectations by Charles Dickens ( @natdoesthings w/ Jake Gyllenhaal)

“I just want you to know that you’re very special and the only reason I’m telling you is that I don’t know if anyone else ever has” - The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chebowsky ( @d-is-for-delightfull w/ Enjolras)

“Don’t you understand? You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!” - Peter Pan by J.M Barrie

[mylifeiskara]

Thanks to @imunbreakabledude for tagging me, since she knows how much I like to talk about all the tv I watch!

rules: pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions, don’t cheat. tag 10 (or however many) people.

1. The 100 2. The Magicians 3. Single Parents 4. Schitt’s Creek 5. Gossip Girl

who is your favorite character in 2? Eliot Waugh has my whole entire heart. So everyone on this show is ridiculously smart, but I love how quiet Eliot is about being smart. Like he’s so extra in every other aspect of life, but his intelligence is the one thing he doesn’t really flaunt. I also relate to how guarded he is, and all I want for him is happiness. 

who is your least favorite character in 1? I feel like with a bunch of characters on The 100 I’m pretty indifferent to them, but I think this is a tie for me between Finn and Jaha. I pretty much found Finn annoying right off the bat. And I think I was pretty indifferent to Jaha before the whole City of Light mess? But then I was like, mmm nope.

what is your favorite episode of 4? WOWEE this is very tough for me, because I feel like I say a lot of episodes of Schitt’s Creek are my favorite. For this I’m picking 3x13 “Grad Night” because it has so many sweet moments between different characters. I love how Ted comes to Alexis’ graduation, and then Moira surprises her with the Jazzagals performance. And of course Patrick asking David out to dinner thinking it’s a date, but then David invites Stevie not realizing that. Ugh, the whole thing is just so great.

what is your favorite season of 5? So Gossip Girl does get a bit crazy (even though it was already crazy) when they go to college, so I think season 2 is my favorite, though I almost picked season 3 because it has the best Thanksgiving episode (The Treasures of Serena Madre for anyone interested). I really like watching Chuck and Blair’s dynamic throughout s2, so I think that’s a big part of it for me. 

who is your favorite couple in 3? Um, they’re not together yet, but Angie and Will? I absolutely love their dynamic, and it’s the perfect set up for good slow burn, which has been really fun to watch so far.

who is your favorite couple in 2? Quentin and Eliot. They’re just so soft with each other, and I think about the Mosaic Timeline at least once a day, tbh. Don’t mind me, I’m making myself sad haha.

what is your favorite episode of 1? 4x07 “Gimme Shelter”. Emori is my favorite character, and this is such a good episode for her. Every moment she thinks she’s safe, she has this realization that just because she’s with Murphy doesn’t mean that people will necessarily accept her or treat her as one of them? And like Murphy says, she made a survivor’s move because she’s spent her whole life working to stay alive. I also think it’s a very good Bellamy episode, because he has to wrestle with the not being able to save everybody thing and all the guilt he carries. Good episode for my two faves.

what is your favorite episode of 5? 2x18 “The Age of Dissonance”. Because oh my goodness, I love when characters participate in the school play. There’s so much drama surrounding their real lives and college acceptances which is very real omg. And as a theater person, I really feel so bad for that poor stage manager because the whole production just went terribly wrong.

what is your favorite season of 2? Season 3! It has my two favorite episodes (A Life in the Day and All That Josh). And I think just seeing them all on this quest throughout the season is a really good way to connect all the events. It was definitely the most fun. And there was a lot of singing? All around great time.

how long have you watched 1? I started watching The 100 in the summer of 2017. Me and a friend binge watched the first two seasons when I was visiting her one weekend. I started s3 myself but only got a couple episodes in before someone (it might have been Octavia at the time?) was getting on my nerves so I put it down. I didn’t pick it back up again until last January, and by then I had forgotten so much of what happened in the first couple seasons that I watched the rest and then watched s1 and s2 again just to remember what happened. But then I got to watch s6 live! So truly, I haven’t watched it for that long, but it feels like it’s taken over my life.

how did you become interested in 3? I missed having Leighton Meester in my life, since I haven’t seen her in anything since Gossip Girl. So I said, well guess I’ll watch this.

who is your favorite actor in 4? Catherine O’Hara. But Annie Murphy comes in close second.

which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5? Gossip Girl will always hold a special place in my heart, so if I had to choose, it would be that one for sure.

which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3? The 100, since it has more episodes.

if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be? I would be Alexis, definitely. Her outfits are my aspirational style goals (I also already kind of dress like her?), and I was her for Halloween. Also now the executive director where I work told me that whenever he watches Schitt’s Creek now he just thinks of me when Alexis makes her hand gestures, because I do a lot of those. 

would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? I could kind of see a Single Parents and Schitt’s Creek crossover being funny? Like I think that all the characters are pretty ridiculous, so it would be fun to see them interact. But would it make sense? Probably not.

pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? I’m actually very into Niytavia? I just think Niylah is such a calming presence and person, and Octavia needs that. They would have a really chill relationship. Also if someone told me they hooked up in the bunker, I would believe it.

overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5? It’s kind of hard to compare Single Parents to Gossip Girl since they are so wildly different. But I’m gonna say Single Parents, only because I find it to be more realistic.

which has the better theme music, 2 or 4? I really love the horns in the Schitt’s Creek theme, like it’s super distinct.

Well this took up a very long time but it was so fun to think about! Also ask me about tv anytime, I love to talk about it, I want to write it for a living.

Tagging: @mobi-on-a-mission @katsbakers @shaeheda @catastrophic-chloe @captainwilldameron and whoever else wants to do it, because I am always v curious about the other shows people watch!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi ! I recently read the fics "Uphill" and "A Hundred Crimson Sols", and I also remember reading "Perfomance in a leading role" a while ago, and I really loved them so I was wondering if you new other AUs where they have another job than in canon ? Especially ones where one of them is famous ? I love your blog btw, and you're so nice with everybody

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could recommend any true AUs? I feel like getting away from the canon setting. Thanks!

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: hi, do you have any coffee shop/different first meeting au fic recs? thank you! (:

Hi Nonnies!!

I hope you don’t mind that I put y'all together, since y’all are looking for pretty much the exact same thing! Funny because these all came in around the same time, LOL. I’ve SO many AU’s, but I’ve those ones sorted too, and Nonny 1, you’ve got a good suggestion here for today’s AU list, so we’re gonna go with Other Professions, which works great for Nonny 2′s request as well!! 

And Nonny 1, thank you very much for your kind words! I’m not THAT nice, but I try, LOL

Nonny 3, I’ve added in the “see also” some fics you may also enjoy! Believe it or not, I’ve never read a coffee shop AU fic. I think it’s because they’re mostly Unilock and I don’t really care for unilock :P (I like my John and Sherlock older because I can then relate to them :P)

I’ve also added some fics on my MFL list since I like making long lists LOL LOL.

ALTERNATE PROFESSIONS

See also (for First Meeting Nonny):

Fairy Tales and Fantasy

TV, Movies, and Books AU (Fantasy Pt. 2)

Magical Realism Where John is the Powerful One

Lumberjack John / Botanist Sherlock

WWII AU’s

Faes / Faeries

Alternate First Meetings (Canon-Feeling)

First Meeting Via Internet / Phone / Letters

Angel John 

Ghosts / Figments

School Fics

Soul Mates and Soul Bonds

Omegaverse

where the good things grow by anchors (M, 7,066 w. || Tea Shop AU || Alternate First Meeting, Magical Realism, Gardens, Tea, Friends to Lovers) – “I have a magic garden.” As come-ons go, John’s heard worse.

He’s Not Paid Enough to Deal with This Shit by janonny (T, 9,828 w. || Personal Assistant AU || Humour, First Meetings, Snarky John) – One of the first things John did was to write up step-by-step instructions on how to conduct a proper job interview before handing it over to Mycroft for his perusal. There were no kidnapping, deserted car parks or stolen therapy notes anywhere on that list. (Or the one where John returned from the war and ended up working for Mycroft as his personal assistant slash doctor on retainer. Everything was fine, until he was sent to post bail for one Sherlock Holmes.)

The Nutcracker by Odamaki (T, 13,758 w. || Nutcracker AU ||  Christmas, Dark Magic, Dolls) – Sherlock is unimpressed with Uncle Rudy’s present. A doll? What does he want with a doll?

Software Malfunction by tiger_in_the_flightdeck (E, 16,679 w. || Android Sherlock, Love Story, Unhappy Ending, Angst) – “You think I can’t love you? Just because you’re made with metal, and detailed programming?” The doctor propped himself on his elbow, and looked down at it. “I am nothing but blood and bone, and tissue. Things just managed get mashed together in a manner that made me like this. Just like you were put together to make you how you are. When I kiss you-” he did so, briefly, to prove his point. Then more deeply, and lingering, because he could. “When I touch you, or smile at you, does it make you feel different from when others have done it in the past?”

Pleasure to Burn by scullyseviltwin (E, 17,863 w. || Firefighter AU, Firefighter John / Arson Investigator Sherlock, Slow Burn, Pining, Case Fic-ish) – “If you’d kindly stop knocking about in there and destroying all of my evidence, it would be most appreciated!” John groaned and for a moment rested his head against the side of the truck. Of course he was the only captain left on the scene, which meant he would have to be the one to deal with the arson investigator.

Uncharted Territory by J_Baillier (T, 19,603 w. || Dystopian Future / Black Mirror AU || Angst, Drama, Homophobia, Bisexuality, Technology, Humour, Romance, Near Future, Happy Ending) – The System puts people through a series of assigned relationships in order to determine who their Perfect Match is. John believes that it works; Sherlock really, really doesn’t. One of them is probably going to be wrong.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

Love or What You Will by miss_frankenstein (T, 31,987 w. || College/Uni AU || Professor John, Ph.D Student Sherlock, Pining John, Poetry, Falling in Love / Slow Burn, Light Angst, Happy Ending) – John is an English professor who specializes in War and Post-War Literature and Sherlock is the brilliant yet impossible Ph.D. student assigned to be his TA because no one in the Chemistry Department is willing to put up with him. And - somewhere between Waugh and Plath, e-mails and takeaway, novels and villanelles - they fall in love.

Classified(s) by blueink3 (E, 36,153 w. || Wedding Date AU || Fake Relationship, Jealous, PIning, H/C, Idiots in Love, Happy Ending, Mary is not Nice, Escort Service) – Clara’s American father is the ambassador to some such territory that Great Britain probably used to own, but she (and Harry’s undying love for her) is the reason John is getting on a flight at 12:30pm, flying across the second largest ocean in the world, and pretending to be in a perfectly happy, healthy relationship with an undoubtedly perfectly coiffed stranger. See, Clara is not only American (and wealthy to boot), she’s also best friends with John’s ex-fiancée. Whom she’s placed in the wedding party. As Maid of Honor. And John just happens to be Best Man. Bloody brilliant.

The Boy Who Drank Stars by kinklock (E, 36,157w. || Howl’s Moving Castle AU || Witches and Wizards, Slow Burn, Magic, Jealous John, Happy Ending, Bed Sharing) – “I’m looking for a castle,” John informed the scarecrow. “A moving one.”Except that, as it turned out, it was not a moving one at all.

The Soul Remembers by i_ship_an_armada (E, 43,636 w. || Oblivion AU || Post-Apocalypse, Movie Fusion, Science Fiction, Action/Adventure, Angst, Dreams, Bittersweet Ending) – John Watson is the lone security repairman stationed on a desolate, nearly-ruined future Earth. His dreams are plagued by a tall, dark-haired man, and when his dreams meet reality, he will be forced to question everything he believes is the truth about his life.

Spare Change by Ermerness (E, 51,966 w. || Rich Holmeses AU || First Kiss / Time, Holmes Family, Virgin Sherlock, Anal, First Meetings) – The Holmes family is one of the richest and most powerful in England. Sherlock spends his time flying around the world on the family’s private jet drinking a lot and shopping at expensive boutiques as a way of trying to alleviate his endless boredom. His mother decides it’s time he settles down with someone powerful, wealthy and well connected. John Watson happens to be none of those things.

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because…new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride… prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w. || Notting Hill AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant – but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

This Thing All Things Devours by cypress_tree (E, 63,844 w. || In Time AU || Science Fiction, Dystopian Universe, First Meetings, Action / Adventure, Romance) – In 2169, time is money—literally. Humans are genetically engineered to stop aging at 25, when the numbers on their arm start counting down from one year. When that time is up, they die. The only way to get more time is to earn it, borrow it, or steal it.John Watson lives day-to-day in the crowded slums of Zone 13. He never imagined living any differently—until he meets the practically-immortal Sherlock, and helps him on a case to track a local time-thief…

Uphill by scullyseviltwin (E, 77,750 w. || Olympics AU || Sherlock POV, Skier!Sherlock / Medic!John, Rivalry, 2014 Olympics, Happy Ending) – Sherlock Holmes is striving for gold in this, his fourth and final Olympics as a downhill Alpine racer.

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he’s a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover’s trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world’s highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (E, 99,662 w. || Nativity! AU || Teacher Sherlock / TA John, Pining, Sherlock POV, UST, Angst, Christmas, Music/Song Fic, Anal / BJ’s, First Kiss / Time) – Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school’s Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? Part 1 of The Baker Street Nativity Verse

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w. || FutureAU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say:Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

A Study in Winning by Jupiter_Ash (E, 106,658 w. || Tennis AU || John POV, Dirty Talk, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Happy Ending, Sherlock Speaks French, Switchlock, Wimbledon) – John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything? Part 1 of Tennis

Eyes Up, Heels Down by CodenameMeretricious (E, 107,845 w. || Sports Equestrian AU || Fluff, Angst, Humour, Rider!Sherlock, Groomer!John, Show Jumping, Slow Burn, Happy Ending) – Sherlock is a top eventing rider currently training at Baker Farms. John is the new groom who’s been told to steer clear of the surly rider and his horses. Part 1 of Baker Farms

The Swan Triad by Pennin_Ink (T, 121,660 w. across 3 works || Swan Lake AU || Magical / Fairy Tale AU, Romance, Falling in Love, Pining, Psychological Torture, Transformation) – Sherlock and John grow up spending every summer together. Their mothers’ attempts to play matchmaker only fuel their mutual resentment and scorn. But then, one summer.

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship’s surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there’s more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin’ the eye, he has to choose… is it a pirate’s life for him?

The Horse and his Doctor by khorazir (T, 129,003 w. || Horse / Vet AU || Magical Realism, Horses, Vet John, Horse Sherlock, Implied Alcoholism) – Invalided after a run in with a poacher in Siberia, veterinary surgeon John Watson finds it difficult to acclimatise to the mundanity of London life. Things change when a friend invites him along to a local animal shelter and he meets their latest acquisition, a trouble-making Frisian with the strangest eyes and even stranger quirks John has ever encountered in a horse.

Performance In a Leading Role by Mad_Lori (E, 156,714 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Actor / Hollywood AU || Slow Burn, Falling in Love, Secret Relationship, Coming Out) – Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world? Part 1 of Performance in a Leading Role

Gimme Shelter by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 159,368 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE ||70′s Surfer AU || Period Typical Homophobia, Hawaii, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Professional Surfers, Gay John / Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John was a Sailor, Misunderstandings) – All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair. That’s all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition. (PUBLISHED AS ‘The Sea Ain’t Mine Alone’)

Mise en Place by azriona (M, 161,004 w. || Restaurant (Kitchen Nightmares) AU || Sherlock is Gordon Ramsay / Celebrity Sherlock, Restauranteur John, Harry Plays Prominent Role, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, Cranky Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn) – John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn’t have much choice. There’s only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes. Part 1 of Mise en Place

MARKED FOR LATER

(these are fics I have in my MFL list for future reading and have not read them yet. Read at your own discretion).

My, She Was Yar by blueink3 (M, 5,313 w. || Cinema AU || Teenlock, Mention of Sex for Drugs, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending) – YAR: adjective; (nautical term, of a sailboat) agile, quick, easily manoeuvred. Or, the exact opposite of what Sherlock Holmes is when he stumbles into John Watson’s cinema and turns his life upside down. Part 7 of the Tumblr Prompts series

come be my april fool by a_different_equation (M, 6,473 w. || Great British Bake Off AU || Writer!Sherlock, Est. Rel., Fluff / Humour, Baking, Marriage Proposal, Military Kink, Domestics, POV John, Romance, Sherlock Wears Glasses, Sweet Sherlock, Bookstores, Queer Themes) – After leaving ‘The Great British Bake Off’, Sue Perkins has written a book about Victorian baking. Tonight, on April 1st, she is reading at ‘The Bard’, Mike Stamford’s bookstore in central London. It is the exact same spot where John Watson, battered and bruised, had learned all about his magnificent bastard – one Mr. Sherlock Holmes, famous gay crime fiction writer – for the first time. A story about found family, DRAMAtical lesbians, how to react when your boyfriend has a military kink but he doesn’t want to act on it, oh, and popping the question. Sequel to ‘i read your book, you magnificent bastard’. Part 2 of Magnificent Bastard!AU

Idle Hands by kinklock (E, 7,226 w. || Deaf Sherlock, Phone Sex, Alternate First Meeting, Dirty Sign Language) – While working as a video sign language interpreter for the deaf, John’s last client of the day asks him to interpret a highly unusual call. (aka deaf Sherlock wants to call a phone sex hotline AU)

What To Do With An Atypical Animal Within by HarveyDangerfield  & swimsalot (E, 7,804 w. || Harry Potter AU || Animagus, Porn With A Little Plot, Tail Porn) – Sherlock is determined to be an animagus. But what happens when it isn’t a fox or a horse or a dog he’s turning into?

Dead Letter Office by a_different_equation (M, 20,364 w. || ‘Bartleby’ Fusion / Office Setting AU || Different First Meeting, Epistolary, John’s Blog, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pre-Canon, John Watson is Sherlock’s Boss, PTSD John, Military Backstory, Writer John, Drug Use, Texting) – John Watson comes home from the war, gets a new job and meets Sherlock Holmes through Mike Stamford. Same tale since 1891, except this time it’s 2008, John is Sherlock’s boss, and they work together at the Dead Letter Office in London. It’s not a love story, until it finally is.

we have never seen a greater day than this by Lediona (T, 24,904 +w. || WiP || Royal Night Out AU || WWII / VE Day, Meet Cute, Prince Sherlock / Soldier John, Alternating POV) – Peace. At long last. It’s VE Day and Prince William desires to join the celebrations. It is a night of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.

Aquiver by Junejuly15 (M, 25,852 w. || Fashion Designer AU || PA John Watson / Fashion Designer Sherlock, Sherlock’s Feelings, Romance, UST, Arrogant Sherlock, Drug Use, Confessions, Protective Mycroft, Parties, BAMF John, Misunderstandings, First Kiss / Time) – Sherlock Holmes is a successful and arrogant fashion designer and John Watson his new PA. Of course, sparks fly between them.

False Advertising by ravenscar (E, 27,722 w. || Office AU / Devil Wears Prada Inspired || Victor Trevor, Flashbacks, Hurt / Comfort, Angst with Happy Ending, Younger John/Older Sherlock, Marriage Proposal) – Sherlock is John’s boss and mentor at an advertising agency. Can they find love in the cut-throat workplace?

Out and Loud by paradigmfinch (M, 28,233 w. || Popstar AU || Dancer/Ballet Sherlock / Singer John, Fluff, Falling in Love, Mutual Pining, Jealousy) – John Watson is a 22 year old pop star who’s about to come crashing out of the closet.Sherlock Holmes is a reluctant fanboy auditioning to dance in his next music video. Part 1 of Out and Loud

Looking Glass Cabaret by lymphadei (E, 30,874 w. || Cabaret AU, Alternate First Meeting, Drag Queen John, Fluff and Smut, Drama, PWP) – Lady Grey leant up on her toes, her hands on either side of his neck to steady herself as she pressed her lips against Sherlock’s ear. “I wouldn’t say a devil, Mr Holmes, but I’m definitely not on the side of the angels.” Then, she pulled back slightly to place a lingering kiss on his cheek. Part 4 of the Interpersonal Affairs series

Through Dangers Untold by hogwartswitch (E, 32,003 w. || Labyrinth AU) – The Goblin King has fallen in love with John Watson and visits him in dreams. But the evil wizard who cursed the Goblin King cannot allow that to continue. Will John survive the labyrinth? Or will he become a lost goblin like all the rest?

An Everlasting Inferno by thatawkwardfriend (M, 35,011+ w. || WiP || Criminal AU || Different First Meeting, Minor Character Death, Gun Violence, Sherlock Whump, Friends to Lovers / Enemies to Lovers, UST, Mutual Pining) – Sherlock and John are both men who operate outside the law. John works for Mary and her hitmen in order to keep a roof over his head. Sherlock does anything his drug dealer asks of him in exchange for free drugs and housing. They meet one night in a darkened garage to negotiate a deal. But they soon find out that neither of their bosses are being entirely honest with them about their goals or motives. With a little poking around, they stumble upon something much bigger than themselves and discover that perhaps, it might be in their best interests to work together. (Loosely inspired by StartUp and Little Favour)

Leveling Up by philalethia (M, 36,961 w. || Video Gamer AU || Different First Meeting, Epistolary, Gaming, Internalized Homophobia, Sexuality Crisis, Past Drug Use) – John plays video games, Sherlock writes a guide on GameFAQs, and they get on quite well together… eventually.Told entirely through emails, text messages, and voice chats.

Learning Curve by thpontiacbandit (M, 41,422 w. || Teacher / Parent AU || America, Fluff and Smut, Parentlock, Frottage) – John is a Kindergarten teacher. One of his students, a boy named Henry Holmes, refuses to speak in school. John is determined to get to the bottom of it, and that is how he meets Sherlock Holmes.

Fly Very High by yalublyutebya (E, 46,533 w. || Formula One AU || Rivalry, Permanent Injury, Hate / Angry Sex) – John Watson was born to be a racing driver, and even a crash isn’t enough to keep him out of a car for long. But coming back is not that easy, especially when he meets his new teammate, Sherlock Holmes.

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock’s closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don’t need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

The Doubtful Comforts of Human Love by PoppyAlexander (M, 61,500 w. || Ballet / Rugby AU || Ballet Sherlock / Rugby John, Est. Long-Term Relationship, Marriage, Case Fic, Blow Jobs, Implied Infidelity, Angst, Dirty Talk, Violent Outbursts, Arguments, Relationship Discussions, Love Letters, Grand Gestures, Hopeful Ending) – UK Ballet principal dancer Sherlock Holmes and assistant rugby coach John Watson met and fell in love as ambitious, optimistic teenagers. Twenty years on, they are entering midlife, facing the break-down of their bodies and the ending of their careers, and contemplating what the future holds for two middle-aged men forced to start over. With a frightening crisis unfolding at the Ballet, Sherlock must balance the demands of his career, his friendships, and his marriage with his own struggle against bitterness and discontent, while John takes a long-overdue glance from the outside, in, and stutter-steps toward making a kind of peace.

The Craving in Between by love_in_mind_palace (E, 69,349 w. || Wedding Planner AU || Infidelity, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Sexting & Texting, Alternating POV, Mary is Not Nice) – Sherlock Holmes, The wedding Consultant. Picky about his projects and a nightmare to work with. Rejects ninety percent of the couples after just having a look at them and can predict how long a marriage will last. But when unassuming, plain, John Watson reluctantly limps his way in his office, with his more than enthusiastic fiancée, Mary Morstan, instead of dismissing the ill-assorted couple on the spot, he promptly decides that the project, and the groom.. are definitely worth working on.

Philia and Eros by distantstarlight (E, 84,660 w. || Historical AU || Friends to Lovers, Time Travel, Kilts, Possessive Behaviour, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Implied Rape/Non-Con) – Love is timeless but time isn’t necessarily linear. John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are about to embark on an unintended adventure that will take them far away from the comfortable confines of 221 B Baker Street. Part 1 of Strange Paths

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn’t truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes.” Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Cake and Other Sins by Indybaggins (E, 100,670 w. || Great British Bakeoff AU || Alternate First Meeting, Angst, Baking, Desire, Disability, Incest (Holmescest/Holmescest with John), Masturbation, Falling in Love, Oral, Outdoor Sex, Past Drug Use, Poisoning, Voyeurism) – Sherlock and John meet as competing bakers on The Great British Bake Off. There’s intense baking, lush recipes and enticing food. Mycroft, guilt, past sins in chocolate and gingerbread. And love. That too.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w. || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel.) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it’s a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

Emperor Tales of the Frozen South by cwb (M, 153,444 w. || Penguin AU || Adventure, Rituals, Fluff, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Gay Rights, Bonding, Antartica) – At the bottom of the world, two intrepid explorers make their way in the harshest of environments. An important journey must be taken, and prophecies fulfilled, but not before family meddling, political interference, and self-doubt threaten to alter the future of an entire species.If you know me at all, you know that this had to be done. Part 1 of Emperor Tales of the Frozen South

The Jewel in the Tower by PoppyAlexander (E, 207,079 w. || Dystopian AU, Violence, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Mild Dub Con, One World Government, Class Issues, Assassin John / Geisha Sherlock, Self Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Espionage, Miscommunication, Sexual Fantasy, Masturbation, Letters/Texting, Phone Sex, Infidelity, First Time, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Injury Recovery, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Scars, Misgendering, Happy Endings) – In a contemporary dystopia, Unity is peace – despite the fact unsanctioned information, illicit currency, and every sort of danger flows unchecked in the world’s pleasure districts. John Watson, a weary hired gun, is assigned by the mysterious Mentor to investigate a subversive element lurking in the Icehouse, the world’s most famous House of Repose. As accustomed as he is to dealing with the unexpected, John is nevertheless woefully unprepared to meet the gem of the Ice house, Xie, the world renowned “drashaskaya,” the living work of art after which all other drashas are modeled. In sumptuous suites, amid trailing puddles of silk and fervent whispers in the night, John soon learns that nothing is as it seems in the floating world of London’s pleasure district. (PUBLISHED AS “At Night in the Floating World”)

You Go To My Head Series by 7PercentSolution and J_Baillier (E, 257,765+ w. across 8 Stories, WiP || Surgeon AU || Medical Realism, Doctor John / Doctor Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Addiction, Angst, Slow Burn, PTSD, Pining, Insecurity) – This series is an alternate universe one, featuring the exciting medical and romantic adventures of doctors Watson (senior neuroanaesthetist) and Holmes (neurosurgeon).

Enigma by khorazir (M, 289,667 w. || Codebreaker / WWII / Imitation Game-Inspired AU || Case Fic, Espionage, Period-Typical Homophobia / Sexism, Pining Sherlock, Inexperienced / VirginSherlock, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Non-Graphic Violence) – It’s the autumn of 1941, war is raging in Europe, German U-boats are raiding Allied convoys in the Atlantic, the Luftwaffe is bombing English cities, and the cryptographers at Bletchley Park are working feverishly to decode their enemies’ encrypted communications. One should consider this challenge and distraction enough for capricious codebreaker Sherlock Holmes. But the true enigmas are yet waiting to be deciphered: an unbreakable code, a strange murder, and the arrival of Surgeon Captain John H. Watson of the Royal Navy.

Deflowered - Director’s Cut by Lorelei_Lee (E, 328,535 w. || Mafia / Mob AU || Rape/Non-Con, Dub-Con, Boss John/Rentboy Sherlock, Bottomlock, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous John, Prostate Milking, Sounding, Anal Beads/Plug, Anal Sex / Fingering, Spanking, Begging, Blow Jobs, Riding Crops, Begging, Romance, Desperation, Minor Character Death, Implied Self Harm, Violence) – It should have been strictly business. Being a Mafia boss with a sadistic sexual streak, John had long since realised that his playthings were in it for the money only. Being a masochistic rent boy, Sherlock seemed too good to be true. Little did they know…

[angrylizardjacket]

drowning in honey, stingless {Roger Taylor}

Summary: Giselle’s life is a series of sensations and struggles, more often than not, alone.

Disclaimer: ‘drowning in honey, stingless’ is a quote from Evelyn Waugh

A/N: 1631 words. Please do not ask me what this is I do not know, just read it and enjoy it if you please. Warning for drug use.

[And All The Queen’s Men ‘verse]

Sometimes it’s like moving through a haze, through a dream, everything melts away when she asks, everyone around dances to her heartbeat; the world waits for no man, but she is no man and it would come to a grinding halt at her insistence. Not that there hasn’t been push back, not that her reputation, her skin colour, her gender, hasn’t garnered her scorn in a day and genre popularised by pretty, white boys; her life wasn’t handed to her on a silver platter, but she still manages to act like it was. Sometimes she forgets it’s an act.

The choice comes when she’s nineteen; she deludes herself into thinking it’s not nepotism, that it’s not favoritism, that she can’t see the shadow of her father’s influence puppeteering the executives offering her a contract, the chance to make something of her future and of herself. They pry her from her last name, as if the world won’t know where she came from, whose legacy she stands in the shadow of; they monetize her isolation for themselves, build her brand around Giselle alone. It’s easy to act aloof and detached, to build herself up on her own merits, and bury the memory of who she once was.

Over the years, best friends were replaced with ‘yes’ men, doing anything to make her smile, anything to keep her singing. She got friends, of course she’s still got friends, but she knows they love the idea of her, they love her name and the fame it garners, more than they love her. People from university, people from high school, people from before all of this, all of whoever she is now, they turned fickle, or they disappeared. Except John, but things are so different now. They’re not nineteen anymore.

And perhaps sometimes when she looks at bands, looks at friends, looks at the way real people actually seem to care about each other, there’s a gnawing sensation at her heart, a loneliness she can’t quite put into words. There’s a bubble around her, and everyone else likes to pretend that she can’t see out, can only see the world as gold as they’ve tried to tint it, to keep her ignorant to the critics who are cruel for the sake of being cruel, or even those who offer genuine critique amid their criticisms of the things she cannot change. She still sees the world, it’s hate and love, in equal measure, but they want her drowning in honey, stingless, alone.

A new choice comes when she’s twenty four- reach out. It’s easier now than it was when she began; she wasn’t a pushover then and she’s not a pushover now, but it still takes work. To reach out professionally was the easy part, the shallow business transaction of ‘I want to cover your song’ being as simple as it sounds, easier still when she’s told to go direct to them, to ask without preamble.  Except she’s met with four smiles, well, three genuine smiles and whatever Roger’s doing with his face, and the salt crust on her slowly calcifying heart might just begin to crack.

The mask she puts on for the world, as shiny as diamond and twice as cold, is a familiar discomfort, an itch she’s used to, and she feels naked without it, speaking to these people like friends, like those who understand, at least in part, her position. It’s hard to let them in, but the world sharpens around her like it hasn’t in years, she still makes herself see a haze of rose gold but she feels awake like she hasn’t in a long time, touch starved like she can’t bring herself to admit out loud. John is proud, prouder than she expected him to be in the face of all she’s left behind of herself from when he knew her; around him, and only around him, she can face who she once was, admit that she misses it. Can admit that she misses it, and still smile.

Freddie’s there, filling the cracks in her heart with glitter for grout because he knows, he knows, that critics think that humanity and weakness are one in the same; he’s seen Giselle’s real smile and he’ll help her hide it if it means he’ll get to see it again.

And Roger? She knows she’s competitive, knows she’s brash and loud and far too human, and he seems determined to pull those qualities from her with both hands; he makes her feel alive, makes her feel human, and she hates him for it.

When Brian looks at her, he sees her, unbiased, unflinching, doesn’t know her like John, love her like Freddie, dismiss her like Roger. He sees her, eye to eye, as a musician first and foremost; her value lies in her work and in greatness she’s earned. Somehow he sees not who she was, not who she wants the world to see, he sees her for her work, he sees who she is. Through her golden haze of fame, the legacy she’s left behind and the one she’s still building, amid her icy veneer and the cracks of her touch starved heart, he sees Giselle Jones, twenty four, alone on the precipice of legendary; he, along with queen, agree to step up beside her.

Barely at twenty seven and she’s free falling, gathering stardust as she crashes back to Earth, to remind herself she’s human. So she puts her hopes and fears into her music, and the crowd sing along to the soundtrack of her spiralling, thinking it’s for them - it’s not, it never was, her music is hers; selfish and self indulgent, she’s at least earned that.

If she goes too far it doesn’t show in papers, in the real world, in the world outside of Bowie’s laughter, Elton’s feather’s, and oh, oh, oh whatever Roger’s doing with his mouth. She won’t remember it as anything more than a happy, hazy blur the next morning, but she feels alive right now. Since the beginning she’d been thrown in the deep end, a spectacle to watch as they make bets on whether she’ll sink of swim; she’s left EMI, moved to a new company that won’t keep her on a leash. She’s got free reign, unafraid of falling, of sinking, of crashing, so long as she can pick up the pieces before the paparazzi catch on.

They don’t. Her crystal veneer sits safely on the shelf the nights she goes hard, invites big names with bigger personalities into the safety of her home, away from the prying public. Star studded and exclusive, the dinners she hosts are just a chance to let loose amongst those who understand. She’s forgotten more life changing moments than most other people ever hope to have, concerts and faces of people she once idolised, singing her praises, bottles of champagne that could probably pay some people’s rent for a month, little white lines of powder that make the world as hazy as it sometimes feels, like syrup, like dreaming; this time drowning in honey of her own accord. Not alone this time, just lonely.

Maybe she swings too fast between nothing and everything.

Maybe they can’t keep up.

Maybe the world melts when she asks it to, and when she’d come back, when it had reformed, nothing was the same.

Maybe because she thought she was falling, thought she was crashing, though she’d reached new heights without even meaning to; the top of the world is lonely.

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

In this light, he’s golden too.

“What? I didn’t even say anything.”

He takes her hand where she’s sitting up in bed, the sheets having fallen away where she’s watching the sunset through the window, it’s like they’re the only ones left in their quiet corner of the world. When his skin touches hers, it’s startling for her to realise they’re alone, but she doesn’t actually feel lonely.

“Yeah, but I know that look.”

“What look?”

She wonders idly, that when, amongst her blur of memories for the past few years, that the person who was once the bane of her existence managed to crawl into the cracks of her not quite calcified heart.

“Of course you have a look; like you’re just coming down from a really good high but you’ve realised that something about the music isn’t right and you start spiralling.”

“I don’t remember that happening.”

A lie. She just doesn’t remember him being there. The music’s never right, the guests are too loud, the high too fleeting, but no-one else seems to realise; or maybe they can’t hear her for the haze… it’s not gold like it once was. ‘Yes’ men dropping off like flies; she doesn’t need their approval among the oceans of adoration each concert garners; the people paid to love her leave eventually.

Roger, by her side, laughs.

“You worry a lot when you’re sobering up. It’s cute.”

“I do not!”

“‘Zelle, I’ve been there, believe me.”

“It’s kind of shitty that you think my worry’s cute.”

“I think everything about you is cute.”

“You’re taking the piss.”

“Usually, yeah, but not this time.”

Pulling her back down to him, he grounds her. He doesn’t say it, but he understands, at least in part. He pushes back, but it’s a reminder than he’s there, pries apart her glitter-stained heart without meaning to, without realising. It takes time to learn to float without drowning amid the chaos of her life, but Roger seems to have one of those inflatable pool chairs, metaphorically speaking, and he helps her aboard.

Queen’s here, she makes herself remember, at the top of the world, by her side.

And Roger? He makes her feel human, and she’s pretty sure she loves him for it.

[themagiciansreccenter]

Author Spotlight: @thursdayeuclid

Every week we interview a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.

First things first, tell us a little about yourself.

I'm a thirty-something disabled bipolar queer trans guy who publishes original m/m romance novels when I can tear myself away from fandom long enough to do so. I'm pretty blind without my glasses. I usually have blue hair, a nose ring, and a man bun. As Thursday Euclid, I write lots of happily ever afters, and as prettyclever, I do pretty much the same thing, except with other people's characters that I'm just borrowing from a surfeit of affection.

How long have you been writing for?

My first stories were written when I was a very young child, but I didn't try a novel until I was nine. It didn't quite work out--I couldn't sustain the work to complete a work of that length, and I was writing long-hand---but I tried again at twelve and managed to finish about 50k words. I had a tumultuous adolescence but eventually found myself in Harry Potter fandom in the early aughts, and then I took a long break trying to be a professional. Turns out, I couldn't stay away from tragic magical boys.

What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?

I was irritated with how season four was playing out. I overly identify with Eliot Waugh--he's who I want to be when I grow up; I'm 37 so I'm running way behind schedule--and his relationship with Quentin was *so* important to me. When Quentin got back together with Alice, I was like, "This is it. I've gotta write fic."

That was the beginning. A few thousand words came of it. Ever since the season four finale, though, I've done nothing but write oodles of Queliot fic with my cowriter and best friend clancynacht/charlotteschaos in my every free moment. I was already reading Magicians fic, but there just wasn't enough novel-length Queliot to suit me, so me and Char are remedying that in our own weird way.

Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?

Eliot, because he is me in so many ways, and in all the ways he is not me, he is pure fabulosity and sex appeal. Kady, because she is just the baddest bitch. She delights me to no end. Penny 40, because his sass is killer, as is his tsundere ish, and I just really miss him. Char always writes Quentin and Margo when we collaborate because she's fantastic at channeling them, so I stick to my own faves.

Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?

I didn't really start writing fic until s4, but (extrapolated) S5 has been my favorite thing to write. I've also loved the Mosaic fic we're writing based on 3x5 and 4x5. Most of what I read is totally AU, though.

Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?

We've now posted like 225,000 words of Queliot fic, still working on Sound & Color, and we're also working on another novel-length fic for Magicians Hallmark Holiday Exchange as I type this. Since it's all anon, I can't tell you much about our story except that we've already written 65,000 words of it, and the mutual pining is real, y'all. It's very festive, and Quentin is an adorable sad boi and Eliot is very soft and spook and also protective.

How long is your “to do list”?

Char literally made a Basecamp list of everything I should be doing outside of fic, but when it comes to fandom, it's really just MHHE and Sound & Color. We write together really rapidly. For example, when we wrote It's Never Over, we were done with over 100k in a month.

What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?

Definitely It's Never Over. It's crackalicious and full of book canon references, and it's the Magicians Season 5 Queliot fans deserve. I'm so proud of how that one turned out. I've never written a story in fandom that people were so passionate about, either. It was published immediately after that heartbreaking finale, and people really responded to how we resurrected Quentin. Also all the smut, because there's so much smut in that story. Sex magic left and right.

Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?

I hoped Sound & Color would get more attention than it did. It's a long, weird (not quite complete yet) trip through 3x5 A Life in the Day. There's already a lot of Mosaic fic out there, and it's a crowded field, although I think Sound & Color stands apart for being so complete and slice-of-lifey. It's not just focused on the most dramatic moments, but on their entire lives together from beginning to end because I couldn't get enough of imagining it. It's a long, thorough exploration.

What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?

I like to listen to Radiohead when I write. It's inspiring and relaxing and keeps the words flowing. Also, Char often creates Spotify playlists for our stories, and I'll listen to those to set the mood as we write. Sometimes I listen to Kpop while writing too, because I only understand one word in fifty and it provides excellent background rhythm.

Because I collaborate with Char on just about everything, we used to write together in Google Docs before migrating our process over to OneDrive through Microsoft Word, which also lets us see each other's work in real time and edit each other's additions to the story. In a lot of ways, it's similar to roleplaying, which is why we can write 100k in a month without getting burned out. We've been working together like this for more than ten years now, so we've got it down.

Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?

I prefer writing canon-compliant stories during hiatus and writing AUs while the seasons are airing. Historically, I tend to only read in a fandom until hiatus, and then I start writing. Coming from a book-based fandom (Harry Potter), Magicians feels very different dynamically and has different demands.

What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?

Definitely The Fake Dating One Where El's Parents Come to Visit, because it was different from what I'm used to writing. For one, it was short(ish) and two, Eliot's parents were drawn from my parents, who are also extremely religious, conservative, small town bigots. It cut closer to the bone in a lot of ways, but it was also different because Quentin ended up taking a more dominant, protective role, really exhibiting his innate bravery, and it was a little uncomfortable letting Eliot be rescued by Quentin just because I identify so much with El.

Are there any themes or tropes that you like particularly like to explore in your writing?

Idiots in love, mutual pining, fake dating, dicks & daddy issues, biphobia and bi erasure in queer culture, mental illness, family of choice, friends-to-lovers

Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Lev Grossman, JK Rowling, JRR Tolkien, George RR Martin, Stephen King, NK Jemisin, Owlet (her Infinite Coffee series is incredible if you like Stucky), and Olen Steinhauer.  

What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?

I just finished reading Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari, which I admit I read just because Chris Evans recommended it, and wow am I glad I did. Changed the way I look at the world.

Now I'm working my way through the Inheritance Trilogy by NK Jemisin, the Raven Tower by Ann Leckie, the Fever King by Victoria Lee, and All the Old Knives by Olen Steinhauer.

What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?

Practice makes perfect. If you don't give it your best every day and work on it even when you don't feel as inspired, you'll never develop the muscles it requires to perfect your craft.

Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?

My characters murmur way too much. Also honestly, just, like.

What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?

It was called "Isildur's Bane" and it was a really insanely nerdy LOTR fic about Isildur and the One Ring. It was gen, and it had none of the characters/pairings people actually wanted to read about, but I was damn proud of it. I have no idea what happened to it. It's been almost twenty years.

Rapidfire Round!

Self-edit or Beta?

For fic, Char and I edit each other as we go. I'd love to have an actual beta, but I do not have one.

Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes?

Comments feed my soul. They used to give me anxiety, but now they are my everything.

Smut, Fluff or Angst?

angst with a happy ending

Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn?

slow burn, to read and to write

Favourite Season?

Season Three

Favourite Episode?

All That Hard, Glossy Armor

Favourite Book?

The Magician’s Land

Three favourite words?

herculean, susurrus, callipygian

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