#way of the drunk master monk

[lotusloong]

Nothing and no one save Sun Wukong himself could convince me the Monkey King doesn't love dancing. Especially Netflix Monkey King, but any of them I could see acting like this.

Any kind of party with lively music you bet your ass he's on the floor shaking it like no ones business. When he's young and living with his monkey's on Mount Huaguo you could argue it wasn't dancing so much as...throwing yourself around in a wild manner, laughing and giggling the whole time, Wukong among them, very drunk.

Then when he entered the world of man he learned what "proper" dancing was. Specific steps to follow to make a specific pattern, with or without a partner. Some were more eye catching and fun looking to him than others, but one thing for certain was that the Monkey King wanted to learn everything.

On his way across two continents, looking for his first immortal to teach him the secrets of immortality, he would stop and ask the people he saw to teach him the steps, and he would practice while crossing the seas and climbing the mountain ranges.

Even trapped under the weight of Five Elements Mountain he would hum songs to distract himself, tapping his fingers and moving what parts of himself he could to mimic the dances he remembered so fondly.

When he's finally free, he spends nights with his fellow disciples, showing them the fascinating (if a little out of style) dances he learned. Imagine his surprise when Bajie mumbles how he remembers one from his days in the Celestial Realm, probably very out of practice after so many centuries. Wukong shocks him by getting close to his face, practically demanding the pig yaoguai show him the steps he remembers. Wujing recalls a far off memory from when he was little, a dance his parents used to perform that Wukong all but drags him to his feet to recreate. Tang Sanzang laughs at their fun, saying he had never spent much time learning the art. Wukong is understandably appalled by this, begging his Master to stand and dance with him just once, he promises it'll be fun! The monk can't refuse such a happy grin.

And it's now, with your hand in his, arm around your waist, that he thanks the universe for giving him so many opportunities to learn. Your own dancing skill level doesn't matter, he's an amazing lead, taking you around and around the campfire as his fellow disciples and Master clap and laugh to the music one of Wukong's clones is playing. You're smiling and giggling as you go, the fire dancing across your features in a hypnotizing way the Monkey King will commit to memory.

"Your hand in mine, and-" He hums softly, his voice warm and breathy where he whispers it in your ear, unheard by the others of your group. "I could never choose to love another..." He pulls away, meeting your gaze with his golden one, smile soft and secretive. He's trusting you to not make a big deal of his feelings, to keep your hand in his and spin around and around for the rest of the night until you can't move another muscle.

So you do so, pulling him closer even as Bajie gives a loud "WHOOP!" from behind you, resting your head on his chest and following him into another pattern of steps.

And if you whisper those same words back to him later in the dark of the night...well, the only witness would be the full moon, it's heavenly glow blessing your first kiss.

[shmuel-ben-sarah-kcd2]

Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 is just a dnd campaign we have a full table of 8 players, but not every player can make every session, because scheduling conflicts are just Like That. the pcs are

(and all information is pulled from the dnd5e wiki)

Henry of Skalitz: Oath of either Vengeance or redemption paladin depending on player choice, Artisan background

Hans Capon of Pirkstein: Fighter, Arcane Archer, Noble

Father Godwin: Cleric Hermit

Samuel: Haunted One Inquisitive Rogue

Dry Devil: Pyromancy Sorcerer, Criminal.

Kubyenka: Way of the Drunken Master Monk, venmoed the dm 20 bucks with "dibs on the drunk monk" a week before session zero. mercenary.

Adder: Path of the Beast Barbarian (specifically snake-vibes) Mercenary.

Janosh: School of Gastronomy Wizard (from Valda's Spire), Mercenary.

Janosh and Adder's players also sometimes play Istvan Toth and Erik, a Mastermind Rogue with the Knight background and an Oath of Vengeance to Oathbreaker paladin with the acolyte background.  NPCs

Brabant is the dmnpc charlitan swords bard. the table instaclocks that this guy cannot be trusted but he just keeps passing insight checks.

Katherine and Musa are both healers because Godwin both cant keep up and keeps picking combat spells. Jan Zizka is a Folk Hero Banneret Fighter.

gonna go through and actually make charictar sheets for these dumb kids eventually. Also, gonna properly adapt the main quests into a rundown like those XP to level Three lotr but DnD parodies.

Janosh and Adder’s players are dating IRL, every crude comment they say to each other irl just becomes cannon. Henry and Hans (but especially Hans) have the most overly detailed lore, and they are both really into the roleplay. Samuel’s Player just learned about their family trauma and is trying to work through some generational shit (it’s me hi im Samuel’s player) by making an obviously and not even sort of subtle Jewish allegory for this fantasy setting. The dm just sighs and rolls with it since she was planning on adding a religious schism to the world lore at some point so why not have smaller faiths as well. Father Godwin, Kubyenka, and Dry Devil all show up to the table completely hammered. Dry Devil will cast fireball on a room his party members are in. Dry Devil and Kubyenka are actually murderhobos, while Janosh and Adder’s players are just being very in character. After all, Janosh at least can have restraint enough to scheme as Istvan. (The two get teased for only playing couples in every game)

the DM is never going to run a party of this size again

please feel free to share your ideas if you have an idea how a build or a bit could go

[evilminji]

You know what would be HILARIOUS?

For everyone NOT involved in the situation?

If the Uzumaki, mad lads that they were, seal master's who routinely moon the Shinigami for funsies that they are, got SUUUUUPER drunk? And were like?

"F-! *hic!* FUCK your fancy ass Summons contract Himiko! I got one TOO, you know. A..An' it's TOTALLY better then yours! It's got BLACKJACK! And hookers!" *falls on their face unconscious*

Needless to say? Not their proudest moment. Actually, their kinda deeply embarrassed. But like FUCK ARE THE BACKING DOWN! Their mouths wrote a check their ass can't currently cash... so the only REASONABLE solution? Apologize and tell the truth? Psh! NO.

Break Reality Until It's TRUE.

THEN they weren't technically lying!

They're a GENIUS~☆! :D

And yes, yes this IS normal behavior for them. It's both cultural AND genetic. There was a REASON people were terrified of those insane mother fuckers.

Because? They just? MADE UP a A Summons Contract. With Who? Dunno! We're gonna find out! But it looks right Seals wise! *signs name before anyone with sense can stop them, does the signs, draws blood aaaand?*

POOF!

Nani THE FUCK!? Says local dead Japanese 16th century fisherman who was flying by to visit the Lair of his buddy the 14th century monk. Behold! A FUCKING ZONE GHOST! He is unsummoned before he can react.

The Uzumaki have A Ghost Contract™.

.........th....they may have fucked up.

YOU THINK?

Roars basicly the ENTIRE Elders council. Who FUCKING FELT THAT. Because EVERYONE Felt that. They're SENSOR. That was a HOLE in REALITY that somehow GLOWED like a BEACON of both absolute Nothingness and Death! You TRAUMATIZED THE KIDS, YOU ASSHOLE!

Still....they ARE ninja. And Curious mother fuckers to the last.

So basically EVERYONE and their dog signs it. They somehow get WEIRDER. Bigger Chakra reserves. Obsessive tendencies. Meh, you win some, you lose some.

But? Then they fuckin DIE. (And their WHOLE ASS VILLAGE SHOWS UP IN THE ZONE. OH GOD, WHAT-!?)

And some grave robbing fuck tries to use the Contract. SUPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!

Ghost Uzumaki!

Your literal worst nightmare!

They DO NOT try using it again. It gets sealed DEEP. Until the Hokage gets wind of it. And, of course, Danzo. The Hokage sends Hound. And Team Kakashi on a completely unrelated but nearby "help a farmer" mission. Danzo sends assassins. Because he's fucking awful.

Kakashi gets the scroll.

Yep. Creepy rambling and shit handwriting, def Uzumaki. Time to go.

He gets attacked on the way back to camp. GDI Root. Well, its you or me. Sucks for you, I guess. They fight. They get a lucky shot. He bleeds on the scroll, doesn't notice. But SURELY... SURELY it isn't CROWDED enough with names that the Uzumaki just added a "and anyone who bleeds on THIS part at the bottom _______ plus does the handsigns" towards the end.... RIGHT??

RIGHT?! Look him in the EYES Uzumaki Clan, RIGHT??!

They would prefer not to answer that. The Vibez here are getting REALLY aggressive, you know? >.> It made sense at THE TIME...

So... he goes to summon his Dogs.

And he SURE DOES GET UM.... plus One(1!!!).

Who the FUCK is this glowing green dog? A puppy? Kakashi seeing the dimwitted looking little thing about to get STABBED tries to rescue it. It takes one look look at him (worried for it), the other dogs (growling at his enemies, fighting) and... turns around, shifting as it does, to HUNDREDS of times it's previous size.

Like an Akimichi transformation.

A sudden, hulking, green WOLF with red glowing eyes and killing intent that would Rival a demon's. The howl is unearthly. It joins the fray like a meat thresher.

Then pops back to a floating, tongue lolling, dimwitted pup the second everything is done.

G...God boy?

Far be it for KAKASHI to fear a dog, no MATTER how dangerous. So he carries it back to camp. Where it seems to instant fall in LOVE with Naruto. They become the BEST of friends.

There's frolicking.

Looking down at the pocket with the scroll he reclaimed? Yeah. Yeah that tracks. According to Pakkun, the pup has a "weird, echo-y" accent and is incredibly scatter brained. Training to be a gaurd dog? WAS Training. IS currently... what.

Okay. IS currently the gaurd dog/pet of an Emperor. Because THATS not alarming. Did the Royal family all... wait... he examines the pup again. Transparent. Was it KILLING intent he felt... or a Deathy pressure? Didn't the Uzumaki have Forbidden soul and death seals? It would stand to REASON...

Oh god damn it.

Pakkun. Pakkun please tell me that pup is ALIVE.

(He can not.) (Hilariously? Dispite being TERRIFIED of Ghosts? Naruto is TOTALLY COOL with Zone Ghosts? Don't be MEAN, Sensei! They're just PEOPLE! It's not THEIR fault They're dead! Now GHOSTS? Spooky and EVIL! Totally different.)

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @hypewinter @legitimatesatanspawn @mayfay

[anakinh]

arcane characters dnd classes

because im bored and hyperfixating

Vi: Monk. Pit Fighter Vi is Way of the Drunken Master. Drunken Master monks fight hand-to-hand 'mimicking the style of a drunkard'. Technically you don't have to be drunk to be a Drunken Master monk so maybe she still uses those techniques while sobered up later. I think she starts out as a Way of the Open Hand monk, which is just a monk that is Very Good at Punching. The gauntlets are a magical item.

Jinx: Artillerist Artificer. Very straightforward. Makes bombs and cannons. Can use magic (referring to her use of hextech as bombs)

Ekko: Scout Rogue/Chronurgy Wizard multiclass. Scout rogues are very mobile so I think it fits him. Later on he takes two levels in Chronurgy Wizard, which gives him chronal shift. This lets him rewind time briefly to change the outcome of an action - fits pretty well, I think. He only needs two levels wizard to mimic his rewind ability and that multiclass makes him fast.

Viktor*: Transmutation Wizard. In the DnD world, both Viktor and Jayce (and Ekko!) would be wizards because they can just study magic instead of trying to harness it via technology. At level 14 the Transmutation Wizard can use their 'Transmuter's Stone' to create a panacea - a cure to all ills (plus restore youth and raise the dead. sounds familiar). Luckily, I think Transmutation Wizard fits Arcane-Viktor as well (especially once he creates the hexcore, which could be his Transmuter's Stone).

Commune Viktor is an NPC with a three-phase boss fight. The first phase is so simple you know there are other phases. I'd probably add in a mechanic where you try to talk him down in the third phase.

(Alternatively commune Viktor as we know him does not exist because the spell Revivify exists and Jayce shouldn't have to turn to unlicensed necromancy to get Viktor back**. Speaking of...)

Jayce*: Hexblade Warlock/Paladin (Oath of the Watchers)***. Again, if left to his own devices in a DnD world, Jayce would be a wizard. I'd say Abjuration (tanky wizard with protective shields) because he wants to protect people (and he's tanky), Order of Scribes (if he's focused on learning/harnessing all magic). Divination to pun on the 'Man of Progress' thing or if you interpret his glitches in s2 as visions of another world/seeing the truth of the commune members/arcane spidey-sense, which tbh really works

However, If I wanted to create Arcane-Jayce in DnD, I would make a Hexblade Warlock/Paladin multiclass. Hexblade warlocks get magic from a weapon, so it can be flavoured as Jayce using his hammer to do/cast magic. The hammer blasts can be very easily flavoured as eldritch blasts. Paladin is added narratively after the post-apocalypse world but not needed if you just wanted to mimic abilities. I'd go for Oath of the Watchers because they literally protect the realm from extraplanar threats. I've seen some people go for Devotion. That's fair, but it's a bit too Knight in Shining Armour for me.

Mel: Divine Soul Sorcerer. Also pretty easy - sorcerers come by their magic naturally, divine soul sorcerers get their power from a connection with the divine + has the gold/light/shielding imagery/spells. Hell, she's probably an aasimar? I don't know enough league lore to tell.

However, she only got her powers later. I think before that she was an Eloquence Bard or a Mastermind Rogue. Mastermind Rogues are more insightful. Both are incredibly persuasive - the bard moreso. The bard has magic - could be reflavoured as manipulation or as her sorcerer powers poking out before she knew about it. Later you could even multiclass her with sorcerer - works better with Eloquence Bard, but it's still not the most optimal multiclass (that's Jayce's). It's not bad, though, and if you only make optimal multiclasses in dnd you're going to get bored. I'd honestly go bard, only two levels in divine soul sorcerer for sorcery points, get metamagic adept feat for metamagic, it'll be fine. Divine Soul sorcerers get wings and healing at higher levels but if she's an aasimar she already has those.

Caitlyn: Inquisitive Rogue/Battlemaster Fighter multiclass. If you want to play a gunslinger in DnD the general advice is 'battlemaster with a gun'. She probably has the sharpshooter feat (she should have the sharpshooter feat). Inquisitive rogues are intelligent and focus on investigating, unravelling secrets. Rogue/Fighter multiclasses are very good - you only need three levels in fighter (edit: but maybe go for five for extra attack.) (She should also pick up the observant and martial adept feats if she can.)

Bonuses:

Vander: Vander is a bartender NPC at the tavern all our players meet up at during the first session. He's a retired high-level monk. Way of the Open Hand, of course. Just like he taught Vi.

Mylo and Claggor: I only added this because I re-watched the first episode and Mylo was apparently the only one who could pick locks. So Mylo is a Thief Rogue and Claggor is, idk, a fighter? (funnily enough both the artificer and the monk would be good picks for resident lock-picker. Not as good as rogue, but not bad)

Silco: Honestly, Silco would be an NPC with a commoner statblock, but I give him ridiculous bonuses to insight, perception, intimidation, and deception. That said, he did fight Vander, so maybe also Mastermind Rogue? With expertise in intimidation? (Still goes badly for him, though. Do not 1v1 a monk in dnd).

Singed: NPC combo necromancy wizard/alchemist artificer, focusing on the alchemy. I'd probably stick some Spores Druid/Death domain cleric stuff in just to be fun since NPCs can be whatever you want. Honestly, in the average DnD world he could just pay someone to resurrect his daughter and we'd solve half of our problems right there. He's originally from Piltover, right? He can afford it.

Ambessa Medarda: NPC Battlemaster Fighter and she has Rictus' anti-magic item that all your players hate.

Footnotes

* Jayce and Viktor cast 'spells' with hextech that reverses gravity, creates lightning, teleports - but, in the immortal words of Ms. Aabria Iyengar, "anyone can cast fireball teleport." Those are conjuration/evocation spells but you don't have to be a conjurer or evoker. Sometimes I see people think of enchantment wizards as 'wizards who enchant magic items' so maybe we'd put Jayce and Viktor there, but actually enchantment wizards do mind control. And, like I said, commune Viktor is an NPC with a three-phase boss fight. Transmutation wizards are the only wizards who can resurrect without making undead and they do it using their transmuter's stone. Although I'd argue that Viktor's commune members are undead... but anyone can cast the Animate Dead spell. And he's an NPC at that point so his abilities are whatever the DM wants.

** UNLESS you assume the hexcore is Viktor's transmuter's stone (which is how he casts the spells panacea/raise dead that I mentioned). It got corrupted as Viktor created it and when Jayce uses it to cast Raise Dead it goes wrong. (Despite its name the Raise Dead spell is supposed to be a normal, safe resurrection spell AND it cures all nonmagical diseases.) Anyway, we're getting into fanfiction now

*** My problem with the Jayce hexadin class is that it's optimized for charisma. Jayce is very charismatic, but his main characteristic is his smarts. A somewhat popular homebrew is to make warlocks int casters so you could go with that. In that case I might multiclass him with abjuration wizard for the extra tankiness. It's still not as good as the original hexadin multiclass so as a DM i'd allow it. Or just keep paladin, ability-wise you only need it for smites and his charisma should be high anyway. Probably your DM shouldn't allow all three on an int warlock.

On the other hand hexadin Jayce's high charisma makes him well suited for the 'talking down Viktor' mechanism in his third phase bossfight, which ... tracks.

[quitealotofsodapop]

So technically, buddhist monks are not supposed to marry or have romantic or sexual relationships. Normally, the fact Wukong has a mate and is traveling with him while he is acting as a pilgrim under the tutelage of a buddhist monk would automatically disqualify him from enlightenment and break his oaths...

Luckily for him, Macaque is a master at loopholes, and Wukong never actually swore to become Buddhist, merely that he'd protect and learn from one. It also helps that his Master fully supported the relationship, Tripitaka had never thought he'd see his mot troubling pilgrim so happy and affectionate even after all those years and meeting his family on FFM

Tbf the Gautama Buddha was married (Yaśodharā) and had son (Rahula). He straight up abandoned them shortly after his son was born in his quest for enlightenment. His wife became a female arhat but never forgave him for abandoning her and their child.

Wukong having his Egg, and having a partner who abandoned him, accidentally makes him a mirror to the Buddha's wife. Except unlike the Enlightened One; Macaque came back and stayed.

Wukong technically not promising to be a monk is hilarious to me, since while he might not be a "true" buddha - he'd be considered a Bodhisattva/Demi-God like dear mama Guanyin. The "Victorious Fighting Bodhisattva" if you will.

Also him, Bajie, Wujing, and Ao Lie frequently break Buddhist no-nos throughout the book. There's a scene during the Dr Sun Wukong chapter where the Tripitaka straight up tells his diciples to get drunk in his place.

Also dont tell me that Bajie wouldn't put up a fight over the rules about not eating onions or garlic (apparently monks arent allowed cus it "produces hormones" aka makes you flirty). He'd pout harder over onions more than meat.

Macaque would straight up refuse any buddhist titles if offered at the end of the Journey. Get that out of his face. He's just Macaque. He learned his lesson back when he tried calling himself "Great Sage Informing Wind". I love the thought of him pulling out reciepts in case anyone tries arguing that Wukong is breaking buddhist vows.

Tripitaka is a poor celibate monk/divine-bug dealing with a pair of diciples in permanent honeymoon-mode for the next 14-17 years. And he thought dealing with Bajie's lustful nature was bad enough, now he has to deal with the Pig's drunken, envious wails for his own spouse to come smooch him.

But the Great Monk ultimately approves of Wukong's relationship with Macaque. Not only because it keeps the monkey calm and gives him and extra bodyguard, but because Wukong is genuinely happy with his mate. The Wukong of now - cuddling and feeding his mate fruits - is a far cry from the tiger-crushing beast that greated Tripitaka at the mountain.

Now if Tripitaka could find a polite way of telling the monkeys to please stop kissing while the monk tries to meditate?

[gavamont]

A martial arts master recently asked me if his training in control of the body could help him in also mastering the arcane arts. I tried coming up with a poetic way to say no, but I was more than a little drunk at the time so it came out more sounding like

“just cause you’re really good at pissing shapes into the snow doesn’t mean you’re good at making lemon snow cones.”

I think the message came across well. Although the monk may have been a little offended, because he then gave me a 7 strike combo that made me shit my robe. Hard to say what he felt, monks are very stoic and mysterious.

[biohazzard121]

So got a crazy save going on lol,

So, as you guys know from previous posts [or not], my main guy is Ti Kesh, a Wood Elf Storm Sorcerer. He doubles as my go-to Durge 99.99% of the time. But he has an alternative ego called Elijah A Wood Elf Celestial, Cleric of Selûne [in other words, it's a carbon copy, only the hair is different]

I like Half Elf Head 5 and I use it on a full Wood Elf.

Anyhoo, I've had a few saves where I've been Drow, High Elf, Tieflings, Dragonborn, etc.

So Elijah is taking centre stage [while Ti Kesh takes a break, so no Durge this time..... the Dream Guardian is Ti Kesh Half Elf edition(with a beard)] and joining him, [through a mod] is

Erebus, Lolth-Sworn Drow, Shadow Sorcerer/Cleric of Lolth Death Dominion.

Fal'on, High Elf Druid, Circle of the Moon

Kelpie, Silver Dragonborn, Beastmaster, Ranger [female version of my sons Dragonborn ranger]

De'rek, Gith, Monk, Way of the Drunken Master, Bard, Collage of Glamour, [1 of my Daughters OCs from our couch co-op]

Along with

Shadowheart, Cleric of [Shar], Trickey Dominion.

Astarion, Rogue, Arcane Trickster.

Gale, Wizard, Evocation

Wyll, Warlock, The fiend & Fighter, Champion.

Wow, the party limit mod will stretch to 16 members lol, and I still have Karlach to collect in Act 1

Gonna be fun. It's also on the advanced tactician mod so it's not too easy.

My Teifling El'rand won't unfortunately be joining the party as he shares a face with my druid currently. And neither will my Sharran Dragonborn Dúath.

Edit Note: Minthera got unfortunately taken out, with a drunken punch from De'rek....... so we are going to add a new addition in the form of a Paladin. When we reach the shadow curse lands, we've been to the underdark and rescued Halsin from the Goblins. Now we are on our way to the crèche to grab the Blood of Lathlander and pick up Lae'zel lol.

So now the troop has recruited Lae'zel against Shadowheart's wishes....... camp tensions are high, lol. With the Blood of Lathlander in hand.

We've recruited a new addition along side Lae'zel.

Gracie Royale, Paladin Oath of the Crown.

So, the team stopped to take a picture after defeating Kethric [1st fight] on the top of Moonrise Towers.

Halsin, Druid of the Moon

Jaheira, Druid of the land/Ranger Beast Master

have joined the team.

Unfortunately I forgot poor De'rek, so we'll just say he was at camp getting drunk with Withers. Lol

With Kethric fully defeated and 1 stone on hand the team get ready to head to Baldurs Gate, crossing over Chapters the team will be trimmed down to 6 members to avoid crashing in the prism [which it has done, and ended my 1st crazy Tav Run].

We are currently at 14 people. And oh boy, is it getting laggy, so it looks like now that everyone is at level 20, the party will be trimmed down to a smaller number to avoid Act 3 issues.

So our journey is coming to an end, and we've rescued Lae'zel from Orin, and we are on our way to the brain,

I've taken just 4 people to fight the brain, I found the lag when fighting Orin with 14 people was frustrating as hell, lol.

Lae'zel isn't in the last picture as it was taken before her rescue, I was going to do a finale one with her, but honestly I forgot and the 14 people picture took way too long to set up lol 😆.

Minsc & Boo Ranger Hunter/Barbarian Beserker.

So I won't be doing a run again with this many people again as I don't really think console likes more than 6 people in the party before the lagg really sets in.

So untill next time

Peace out, my fellow baldurains x

[madisonthetimewalker]

Chat here’s a few JTTW quotes I have in my notes app (yes these are from the actual book I’m not kidding..) pt. 1 might make more.. also wanted to add some silly notes!

"Only a bit," Monkey replied. "The vegetable dishes were too salty−−I didn't want to eat too much." (Wukong dislikes salty food..)

At this Monkey leapt with rage, shouting, "He's fooled me! He's fooled me!" (Wukong hates when people trick him.)

"How could one husband and one wife have had so many little bastards?" Monkey asked (Wukong pondering why dragons have a shit ton of kids..)

"This is bad," said Monkey. "The master's being driven mad by epilepsy." "No," said Friar Sand, "it's a migraine." (It was infact a bed bug.. but those are some crazy guesses..)

This made Monkey so angry that he sprang out of the cauldron, wiped the oil off himself, put on his clothes, pulled out his cudgel, and hit the supervisor of the executions so hard that his head turned to a meatball. "A ghost, indeed," he said (ah yes sassy wukong..)

The Monkey King leapt to his feet and shambled round a couple of times. (He’s doing a little dance.. not really can’t remember what he was actually doing tbh..)

A flustered Monkey at once put his iron cudgel away, bowed and said, "Where are you going, Old Man? I'm sorry I didn't keep out of your way." (He’s so silly.. he got embarrassed because there was a god behind him and he didn’t know..)

Now the Great Sage was not a heavy drinker, so after taking these seven or eight cupfuls he started to act drunk in the demon's stomach, propping himself up, falling flat on his face, kicking about him, swinging on the demon's liver, doing headstands and somersaults, and dancing wildly. This caused the monster such unbearable pain that he collapsed. (Wukong being the worst drinker is the funniest thing i have ever read.)

Before he had finished speaking his ankle began to hurt. Putting his hand down at once to feel it he found that it had been burnt so badly it had gone soft. "I don't know what to do," he said with anxiety, "My ankle's been cooked tender. I'm a cripple now." He could not stop the tears from flowing. (It’s ok Wukong your ankle will heal soon enough *pat* *pat*)

"I'll be honest with you, Master," he said. "The evil spirit has been eating people here." (I can imagine him just shrugging to tang while saying this..)

When Monkey heard this he went pale with shock, and he dared make no more memorials to the throne. He left the palace hall overcome with embarrassment. (Poor Wukong.. I can’t remember why he was embarrassed tho..)

As they were talking the monks all asked Monkey if he had eaten any supper. "I'll have something if it's no trouble," Brother Monkey replied, "but I can do without just as well." (Wukong please your skinny enough.. please eat the damn food..)

"Don't tell me!" he thought with horror. "They've been caught." He rushed after them, following the horse's prints Westwards. (Wukong i regret to inform you they were infact.. caught..)

"You are flattering me," said Monkey, "you are flattering me. You'd better sit here while I go and spy things out." (Wukong loves compliments btw..)

Just look at him as he keeps tossing the cake from one hand to another shouting, "It's hot, it's hot, I can't eat it." (Wukong struggling to eat a cake from that one fire mountain)

Ok that’s all for now please enjoy!

[dailycharacteroption]

Mixologist (Alchemist Archetype)

(art by eleth-art on DeviantArt)

There are plenty that believe that alcohol makes everything better, though admittedly most are referring to beverages, but the substance as plenty of medical and chemical uses as well.

Today’s archetype… is only a little bit about the latter. I present the mixologist!

Now, in the real world, mixology is less a study and more a skill about understanding what flavor profiles work together specifically for making mixed drinks that taste good and only make you sick after several of them instead of on the first sip.

So, applying this to the alchemist class, the mixologist is a master of adding alcohol to their various concoctions in a way that doesn’t ruin them (the concoction or the alcohol) to enhance their effects at the cost of getting you drunk, with all the debuffs involved, if you fail the fortitude saves. And yes, this archetype did come from the Inner Sea Taverns book, how did you guess?

Now, this archetype does have some conceptual overlap with the fermenter archetype, and certainly the mixologist would no doubt be quite happy to also make use of the tinctures that fermenters are also associated with, but I do think they are quite different in their application. Fermenters being more focused on the creation of alcohol, while mixologists focus on applying the finished product.

It also behooves me to inform you that certain abilities of this archetype reference the expanded drunkenness rules from Inner Sea Tavern, so you may have to modify this archetype a bit if you’re only using it and not those rules.

Now, let’s take a look, shall we?

At the core of the archetype is their knack for adding alcohol to the brewing of their potions and extracts. While the former requires more ingredients to stabilize them, the end result is stronger potions and extracts that are also quite potent in their alcohol content too, making it easy to get absolutely shitfaced if one has too many in a short period.

However, they don’t stop at the brews they drink, applying alcohol to their bombs as well. When they choose to do so, the alcohol aerosolizes into the air when the bomb explodes, giving the targets a contact buzz from the alcohol, potentially getting them drunker and drunker until they outright pass out if they keep getting hit by such bombs.

Naturally, their constant experimentation also means they develop just as much tolerance to alcohol as they do to poison, though never full immunity (gods, can you imagine?)

Normally, they can only have a small fraction of their extracts be alcohol-enhanced, but masterful mixologists can double that number, ensuring that their brews are quite potent (and their selves almost never sober) throughout most of the day.

Whether you’re playing an alchemist that never got over their party years at the college, a fantasy bartender who enjoys blending disciplines, or simply a brilliant scientist that is willing to pursue progress even to the bottom of a bottle, this archetype can be fun whether you plan on using it with the expanded or classic drunkenness rules. In practice, you can get a little bit more potency out of a lot of your extracts and potions at the cost of getting some debuffs through their use, but much like in the real world, moderation can help mitigate that.

Now, I probably don’t need to say this. Most of you who play this game are adults and get it. But between the mixologist and fermenter, not to mention archetypes like drunken rager and drunken brute barbarian and the drunken master monk, please drink responsibly at your table. Do not try to emulate the alcohol intake of your character, especially if you gotta drive home after the game. You likely do not have their fantastical liver nor the ability to gain superpowers from your booze. It’s like playing a character who smokes or does drugs. Neat for narrative reasons, but you know better.

While everything on the Plane of Law runs like clockwork, even axiomites must take a break every now and again, but rarely do they party so hard as to disrupt the schedules of the plane. This is why the arbiter inevitable Seventy-Fifth Timekeeper is so concerned when they learn that a new bar that has opened up on the plane provides drinks that can knock even lawful outsiders for a loop.

Though he make look like a fish out of water, Bizgax the grindylow can knock your socks off from behind his combination fish tank and bar, The Soused Siren. What’s more, he sells alchemically enhanced brews to wealthy customers, preferring bottles to mugs so they can take them where the effects benefit them the most.

Learning about the Drunk Mosquito speakeasy is hard. Getting in is even harder, as the play is owned by a powerful wizard who shrouds the place in secrecy and magic. Starting trouble in there, however, is easy the first time, because it won’t happen again with the barkeeper keeping a few special brews below the bar that let them hit harder than any drunk dumb enough to pick a fight.

[brynderarten]

Important BG3 Patch 8 Information:

- If you make Astarion a Way of the Drunken Masters Monk, he will make some incredible Drunk Noises during fights.

[fangaminghell]

In the DnD mood soooooo

Imani: Bard( Glamour)/ Warlock ( The Great Old One) ( <- hehehehe)

Flynn: Wizard ( Order of Scribes)/ Cleric ( Nature Domian)

Arrow: Artificer( Alchemist)/ Ranger (Drakewarden)

Leo: Sorcerer( Aberrant Minds ....low-key was tempted to make him a Wild magic one but I think this suits him better)

Suraya: Monk ( either Way of Shadow or Way of Astral Self)

Blair: Rogue ( Assassin) ( I was thinking blood hunter too, but I don't think it fully fits Blair?)

Asra: Fighter ( Battle Master)

Cande: Ranger ( Beast Master)/ Barbarian ( Path of the beast)

Philomena ( I'll be honest, not sure if she would exists anymore but ANYWAY): Sorcerer ( Lunar Sorcerer) or Druid ( Circle of the moon)

Bonus:

Will: Druid (Circle of Wildfire)/ Warlock( Hexblade) ( <- hehehehehe-)

Myo: Monk ( Drunken Master) ( And by " drunk" I mean constant chugging Monster Energy drinks)/ Rogue ( Arcane Trickster)

Myosotis Bluebell: Paladin( Devotion)/ Blood hunter ( Ghost Slayer)

Isador: Fighter( Eldritch Knight)/ Bard ( College of Whispers)

Teddy: Fighter (Champion)/ Paladin ( Oath of Watchers)

Gale: Bard( College of Valor)

Sasha: Monk ( Open Hand)/ Fighter (Champion)

[grasshopperdoingdogpaddle]

Which monk has the worst emotional scars?

At the start of the series, definitely Clay.

He has a lot of pre-existing baggage with his family, and it seems like it was the exacerbated by him going to the temple. His dad seems reluctant and dismissive of the temple, and Jesse got so jealous about not getting picked for "monk school" that it probably served as a catalyst for her leaving. Not to mention Clay's grandmother that is his deepest, darkest fear.

Sans Omi's complicated situation, the other monks upbringings seem relatively normal in comparison.

Over the course of the series, I'd say Omi.

Al the monks have their share of trauma, but for one thing, the same way being the youngest helps him bounce back easiest from physical injuries, it also makes psychological trauma hit way harder. He also wasn't properly socialized or supported growing up, which certainly doesn't help.

He begged for the affection of his abusive robot family and then witness what he thought was his mother's death.

He watched Klofange get dragged down into the depths after they'd finally started to bond.

Omi had his soul ripped in half and seems to vaguely remember the things his half-selves did. He watched his dots get stolen and used to cloak the world in darkness, and even worse, his dots used to hurt Master Fung. Omi was brimming with energy and sick as a dog, and the people he thought were his friends kicked him out and abandoned him to wander around homeless so they didn't have to deal with it. The man who used to be Omi's biggest hero, Master Monk Guan, has let them down time and time again.

Then in the alternate timeline, he witnessed all his friends death. Then there's his starcrossed, desperate mission to be with Chase that he watched unravel when good Chase drunk the soup.

And he also has just never been given the space to process the pain he feels from Raimundo betraying them all, especially when Omi was initially the one who wanted to trust him the most. The Return of Master Monk Guan elevated the trauma and discomfort Omi feels about that to new degrees.

(But if we're including the monks from 1500 years ago, I'd say it's a tossup. All three of them were very emotionally scarred, you can argue for any of the three bearing the brunt of it. I'd personally say Chase, just because he spent an unspecified amount of time working under Hannibal.)

[dkettchen]

drunk kaido is *chef's kiss*

what a reveal this late in the game that he's a way of the drunken master monk 🙏😩

[a-writers-blurbs]

TROPE-TASTIC

So I'm trying something I saw on rumble. Basically, I'm making a list of the prompts I'm using for this story challenge.

Problem is... I need 30 prompts I can work with... I've only found 19.

Anyway...

This is what I'm working on. I'd love to see others interpretations of these prompts, so feel free to use them in your own chapter or one shot stories!

If you do, please link them to keep so I can read/promote them! If you post them here, add the hash tag #AWBsesskag

Genre: Humor/Romance/Angst

Twist: Try to use as many tropes as possible

Universe: Canon

Fandom: Inuyasha

Pairing: Sesshomaru x Kagome

Rating: M

Description:

A few weeks have passed since Sesshomaru & his group joined the Inutachi. No one knew why Sesshomaru started following them around. Nor did they understand him seeming obsession with their naieve miko.

Prompts!

(In no particular order)

Hot Spring: Much to her mortification, kagome winds up accidentally giving the males of her group a peep show.

Swordplay: Inuyasha & Sesshomaru argue over who's "sword" is bigger & who "swings" it better.

Plum Sake: Poor Sesshomaru is at a loss when drunk Kagome comes out to play

Fairytale: Kagome wakes up from a yokai induced sleep to a kiss from Sesshomaru while the kids cheer about her bedtime stories

Sleep: Sesshomaru watches kagome sleep, lost in thought. Meanwhile, Inuyasha watches him, jealousy building with every second that passes.

Instinct: Sesshomaru protects Shippo, Sango, & Miroku in Kagomes absence

False Claim: When Kogas antics go to far, Sesshomaru steps in to set things straight once & for all.

Liar: After an argument, Inuyasha leaves to be with kikyo for the night. Leaving Sesshomaru behind to pick up the pieces of a broken miko.

Acts of Honor: Sesshomaru captures Kohaku during battle, but instead of leaving him for dead, he returns him to Sango as the brother she remembers... not Narakus puppet.

Dishonorable: Sesshomaru scolds Miroku for his unfaithful & lecherous ways, much to the Monks embarrassment.

Festoval: Sesshomaru takes pride in spoiling the pack at a yokai celebration in honor of the balance between earths power, humans, & yokai.

Stormy Eyes: Injured, but furious... Kagome not only scolds but challenges Sesshomarus mother to a dual.

Healing: When Kagome is Injured, Sesshoumaru protects & cares for her in a way only a inu should care fot their mate, causing confusing feelings for Kagome.

Revelations: Sesshomaru opens up about his upbringing. Not realizing what he's describing is manipulation & abuse. His is when kagome decides her feelings for Sesshomaru are stronger than friendship.

Shame: Sesshomaru & his mother argue over his feelings over lagome, not realizing she overhears his lack of denial when his mother accuses him of being as shameful as his father for loving a human.

Enough: After finding Sesshomaru comforting her... Inuyasha goes too far with his insults towards kagome, resulting in an all out brawl.

Penis: Anyone who wants to visit the future kagome comes from,needs to be subjugated. Kagome decides on a word she would NEVER say to the kids.

Whore: Word around Tokys is that Higurashi Kagome is an unwed, teen mother whos getting kicked out of middle school for lying about being suck to chase a gangster two timer, only to turn around & switch to his brother. Her families reputation is in ruin.

Chickens: Sesshoumaru is HIGHLY unimpressed with Kagomes friends & the boy Hojo who couldn't take no for an answer.

Submitted by @anastasiaskarsgard

Control: Kagomes power has been compromised & she can no longer control it. When her reki violently lashes out during a disagreement, she fears she's hurt Sesshomaru

Collections: Poor Jaken. Once a leader in his own right, he abandoned his people to serve the most feared yokai in Nippon. For years, things had been wonderful. But recently, his master had taken up an odd hobby. Jacken just couldn't fathom why his master kept collecting human females!

Rawr: Ah-Un are in charge of watching over the children. All seems well & the large dragon is able to eat their grass in peace. But serenity never lasts & if Ah-Un wants to get back to their lunch, they'll need to teach the yokai attempting to sneak up on the camp a lesson.

I still need 8 more prompts (minimum to hit 30. The max is 45 chapters) I figure I should add some battle scenes somewhere, lol. If you have any Prompt ideas... especially funny ones... PLEASE comment them below. 💜

[theobailey]

Theo Andreas Bailey

38 years of age. Greek. Translator & ancient languages consultant. Twin dad. Blue Harbor resident. ♿

thick and unruly hair, chewing mints, coffee and energy drinks beat water any day, unsolicited advices, secretly geek but proudly Greek, unreadable handwriting, crying over the library of Alexandria when drunk―just generally crying when drunk. Cursing medieval monks in the middle of the night, the sound of metal crutches on the floor, self deprecating jokes with a bittersweet layer of truth, poetry with shirts buttoned the wrong way― shirts unbuttoned all the way. Romantic with a capital R.

Wanted Connections & Full Biography

TLDR;

Born in Greece to unknown (and supposedly deceased) parents and raised at an orphanage.

Has cerebral palsy due to prematurity, affecting his legs. Uses mobility aids such as forearm crutches to get around as well as a wheelchair.

Adopted by the incredible academic and adventurous couple Dr. Jasmine and Richard Bailey at age 6, has lived all over the world growing up, especially between Egypt, England and Brazil.

Attended Cambridge University and led a very bohemian, lewd life. Drank a bunch. Made a lot of mistakes. Disappointed his parents and never reached his full potential.

A prodigious polyglot from infancy, has made translation his entire career, as a consultant in ancient languages.

Had a long term girlfriend who he broke up with before moving to Blue Harbor, where his family is currently residing. He's been in BP for about three years now.

Has recently found out that his mother is actually alive and well living as a nun in Greece.

He got his best friend, Dylan Westwick, pregnant and fell in love with her. Now he's a dad to twin babies, and are building a house by the lake. He wants (and should) propose soon.

PERSONALITY

"Mansplain, manipulate & manwhore."Dramatic and tragic, exaggerated and excessive, passionate, caring, sensitive, charming and eloquent, daydreamer and a visionary, procrastinator, chaotic, internally insecure yet externally confident, impulsive and genuine, self-deprecating and self-critical, troubled

INSPO.

Lord Byron . Percy Shelley . Cyrano de Bergerac (Cyrano) . Randall Pearson (This is Us) . Matt Murdock (Daredevil) .Jay Gatsby (The Great Gatsby). Dmitri Karamazov (The Karamazov Brothers)

DETAILS;

Theo Andreas Bailey was born prematurely in Greece and grew up at an orphanage in Athens. Due to his early birth and lack of proper medical care, he has cerebral palsy, affecting mostly his lower limbs and making him dependent on mobility aids, mainly forearm crutches and orthosis, but also a wheelchair.

He was adopted at age six by the Baileys, this insanely academically accomplished couple, who took him to England and would later adopt another child (Nilay). He struggles a little with his adoption --- he thought of himself a little like damaged goods, too old and too much trouble with his medical history, so he felt like he had to prove his worth. He kept putting pressure on himself to do better, always.

He was super skilled and insanely smart from an early age, picking up easily on multiple languages, but it backfired. The pressure built itself to the point where he started having panic attacks and seizures, which he (stupidly) tried to hide, again, not wanting to cause any trouble to his loving family.

Once he was a student in Cambridge, things changed drastically. Instead of chasing achievements, now he would drink too much, party too hard and neglect his studies. He was wasting his potential, everyone knew it --- he knew it. He did get a Masters and a PhD, though, in anthropological linguistics, because that’s what Baileys do.

Contrary to his family, he for a while he barely used his degrees and expertise. He works as an academic translator and lived an essentially empty life, hopping countries, drinking too much and not caring about a lot. He says it’s the ideal life and yet, deep down, he does that out of fear that by having a real job, in real academia, he would be bringing back his old habits and that way triggering his seizures and panic attacks.

He came to Blue Harbor after his sister and parents did. He’d been recently dumped by a long term girlfriend and was a little broken-hearted still. He had a mid-thirties crisis back in London when he looked at his life and saw nothing of substance there.

Recently found out that his birth mom is alive and a nun back in Greece, which shook him up a bit.

Got Dylan Westwick, his best friend, pregnant with twins due in January 2024, Leda and Lysander. Their relationship status is still very confusing, they're still trying to figure it out, but he's definitely proposing soon.

[shadypandora]

Obsessed right now with a dnd OC I came up with literally 3 days ago who I won't get to play for 1-2 years at least.

She's a water genasi and a lot of her stuff is based on my friend's homebrew world but to lightly sum up the important bits, basically the god of creation and individuality got into a fight with the physical manifestation of the embodiment of violence, and the god of creation and individuality died in the ocean kinda like mostly dead at least (and a bunch of primordial monsters have been feasting on its flesh and bones and gaining power but that's neither here nor there)

Anyways that was a few hundred years ago and the embodiment of violence finally died (kinda) and people were able to like, have towns and cities and shit that weren't constantly being destroyed.

Anyways this is a long way of saying that my water genasi girl is just a normal sleeby college girl who is a monk. But she's got this really great fun and normal thing going where when she falls asleep or gets close to being asleep she has memories of the moment that the embodiment of violence killed the god of creation and turns out dreams are like small little echoes of powerful magics. And two extremely powerful gods clashing is pretty fucking magic.

So even though her dreams contain just a tiny fraction of that it's still an awful lot of power. So she keeps herself as tired as physically possible (she brews her own energy drinks to help) and then when combat starts she kinda just positions herself or starts an attack and then lets herself fall asleep for just a second to channel that power.

We're using the drunken master monk as the base because it's the same kind of vibes of passing of advanced and precise movement movement as stumbling around but instead of drunk she is just so so eeby.

And she's going to be at the kinda college town school thing studying lost history through the method of reliving the powerful moments of those times as dreams and it's just so good I love her so much. She's. So sleepy.

But God. This character is for at the soonest the next arc... And we've like... Just scratched the surface of our current arc. But I am. Obsessed with her.