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neonfuturelove · 2 years

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Battle of the Exes; DR3

Part 1: Two Years On//Part 2: Two Years Ago//Part 3: Battle of the Exes

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x you

Summary: learning to navigate your feelings and friendship with Dan back on the scene... a tad more lighthearted!

Warnings: swearing/mentions of alcohol

Word count: 3.9k

A/N: thank you for 50 followers from only two pieces of writing so far, my gOSH. I'm excited to read your thoughts to how this could go hehee

The music through your headphones pumped an extra shot of motivation through your body, you always liked to sing along as best as you could as you ran the beauty being that you couldn’t hear whatever the exhausted noise actually sounded like coming out of your mouth. The view along the beach front made it a slightly more enjoyable experience, the air not too warm at this hour of the morning and only a few other jogging fanatics littered the streets you ran. Slowing, you leant against a wall, your chest rising and falling as you attempted to control your breathing closing your eyes deliberating whether to give up and walk the rest of your way home.

It had been two days since Tommy’s party and your first run-in with Daniel since your break-up – or dumping, rather – but you had managed to leave unscathed. He'd seemingly taken the hint and had politely left you alone the rest of the night, only suffering a few small glances intermittently and you felt tense no matter how much more gin Harriet had ploughed you with. You picked up on Tommy’s concerning glances, mostly whenever Dan had made a joke that had everybody laughing but you could only muster up a tight-lipped smile for. Jonesy, even though one of the closest to Dan, gave you a reassuring side squeeze at one point that you were grateful for giving you’d formed a bond with him and his girlfriend throughout the years of your relationship with Dan. In the end you hadn’t felt so isolated as you’d imagined but the relief when you and Harriet had returned home was palpable.

Your recovery and thoughts were disturbed by your headphone being pulled away from your ear, panicked your eyes darted open to find a harmless Daniel beside you with an exaggerated wave and overly large smile.

“You scared the life out of me,” you panted, “my hearts beating out of my chest, you idiot.” You caught his eyes subconsciously dart down to your chest before reconnecting back with your eyes.

Maybe it was because you were lacking oxygen and your legs were unwilling to carry you any further but your immediate reaction wasn’t to run away. “How far have you got left to go?” Daniel questioned, jogging on the spot in front of you. Your incessant panting and bright red skin from face to chest letting him know you were on your own jog.

You gestured behind him explaining that you had ran most of your circuit already, “I’m going to walk the rest, I’m done. I quit.” Still trying to catch your breath between words.

“No! Come on!” Daniel lightly hit you on the arm, a failed attempt at motivation.

“No, not come on. Walk.” You deadpanned, how this man had energy this early was always a mystery to you. “I want to enjoy the view,” you waved toward the beach ahead, a pathetic excuse but one you were going to stick to. Dan’s head followed your hand out to the sea, you took the opportunity to admire his face while he wasn’t looking. His skin was slick with sweat that was dripping from his curls, his dark eyes looked out deep in thought, his jog coming to a halt as his brows furrowed and you noticed how his beard was slightly shorter than what you preferred but that wasn’t something he had to take into consideration now.

“Remember when we raced all the way down here and into the sea,” Dan’s thoughtful look turned back to you and caught you off guard. Your chest tightened; how could you forget? He insisted on walking you home suggesting a diversion to go to the beach to admire the sunset that was creeping in. Instead, it turned into a race into the sea, clothes strewn across the sand the closer you got until Dan hurled you over his shoulder too easily, smacking his back and yelling at him to put you down through laughter until you were both underwater. When you came up you were already kissing, his hands roaming your body under the water while you held his face to yours, a taste of salt water between your lips. The glow from the sunset shone down over the pair of you and it was one of many moments you were so certain you were in love with him that you’d share so many more kisses in the ocean together even when you were old and wrinkly.

You swallowed; his eyes hung onto yours almost like you were both replaying the same moment over in your heads. You consciously diverted the conversation away from the pair of you, “I used to love the volleyball and keepy-up competitions we’d all have after school on the beach, remember that? I was never a champion,” your smile was genuine with the memory.

“That’s because I was champion many times,” Daniel declared proudly, “we should totally do that again, that would be awesome!”

“At least you’re champion of something,” you quipped with a smirk before you frowned at yourself for finding yourself too comfortable around him to joke about the topic. Now you’d inadvertently offended him anticipating his reaction. Before you had a chance to apologise he was already feigning hurt with a “wow” at your sassy comment. You both shared a laugh before you fell into a silence, biting your lip as the urge to run away from the conversation had finally caught up with you. “I’m going to carry on,” you announced.

“Do you want me to jog in front of you so you can still enjoy the view?” Daniel’s smile formed the creases around his eyes, you rolled your eyes and gave a quiet goodbye not satisfying his comment with a reply. Before you had a chance to turn away from him he reached out to regain your attention, “Is your number the same?” You nodded, too focused on his fingers gently wrapped around your arm to speak. “Just checking, I wasn’t sure after all the times you ignored my call that’s all,” you were speechless but his smile remained friendly so you merely accepted the deserved comment after your remark about his zero championships.

“Maybe I’ll pick up the next one,” you gave a shrug, loosening from his touch and turning to finish your route. Every nerve ending in your body was on edge and a familiar feeling swirled through your body. You were playing a dangerous game, but you silently settled in the idea of having him in your life in some capacity rather than none.

* * *

Ricciardo created the group Beach Championship

DR old school beach championship Saturday arvo? Who’s in?

Jonny let’s go!

Harriet ooooomggg yes!!! I’m in

Tommy sounds dick

Tommy **sick. I’ll bring Kate

You sounds like a good idea 😊

Jonesy out with Jules but we’ll swing by when we’re done x

DR prepare for an ass beating! And maybe some dick @Tommy

* * *

The early afternoon rising heat gave you a valid excuse to bring out a small bikini for your trip to the beach, Daniel’s presence playing no part in the decision at all was your current defence as Harriet sang a familiar tune putting her own spin on it:

itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, daniels going to love your bikini

A sheer top and denim shorts to cover up in the meantime but you secretly anticipated the moment you could display your body in front of him, thoughts slipping into the territory of his own bare chest parading around the beach.

“Do you really think the whole friend thing is going to work?” Harriet quizzed on the walk toward the ocean in the distance, you’d conveyed your thoughts of navigating a friendship with Dan instead of losing him completely like you’d felt you had the past few years but Harriet had voiced her reservations as a friend who’d witnessed your sorrow.

“I’d rather try. It’s just easier when he shows up a few weeks of the year, right?” You were trying to convince yourself more than Harriet and you were sure she knew that herself but you were also sure she’d support you no matter what. “Plus, nothing bad can come of being friends surely…” Harriet shrugged in response, a million negative possibilities undoubtedly running through her mind but choosing not to express them.

As you neared the sandy beach you could make out Tommy’s large frame in the distance setting up a net with his girlfriend Kate trying her very best to assist even with her disadvantage in height, Harriet jogged ahead to give a helping hand much to Tommy’s relief.

“Jon’s just ran to fetch some beers in the cooler, desperate for one after putting that thing up,” Tommy spoke with Kate hung around his torso taking shade under his rounded muscular shoulders.

“I did offer to do the drinks run but apparently I wouldn’t be able to carry it all back, so I got lumped with an even worse task!” Kate mocked the boys’ delegation tactics.

Rolling out your beach towel in the sand with Kate and Harriet following suit, Tommy kicked a ball around the three of you to entertain himself until other company arrived. You unbuttoned your shorts deciding to peel the down the front slightly over your bottoms and leaving the sheer top on building up the courage to eventually strip down, nerves suddenly high thinking of Dan’s presence. Laying down you shut your eyes under your sunglasses and listened to the waves and chatter between company for the time being.

“Ay! Ay! Ay!” A familiar chant made you sit up on your elbows and squint in the direction it came from undoubtedly it was Dan making his way toward you with Jonny, the pair of them with bags assumedly filled with drink for the afternoon. He wasn’t bare chested just yet but the tattoo creeping out from under his shorts was enough to get your heart racing for now. “The two wise men come bearing gifts of cider and beer,” Dan announced proudly as the pair placed the cooler bags under the shade of a nearby parasol.

“You do know there’s three wise men?” Harriet quipped causing you to smirk.

“Yeah, but who would ever call Tommy a wise man?” Dan grinned; Tommy quickly shot the ball in Dan’s direction but with his fast reactions he caught it without a problem. With the majority making their way over to the cooler to fetch a drink you decided to stay put for now and watched as Dan walked in your direction. He squatted down in front of you, “there’s water in there for you too,” he mentioned with a gentle tight-lipped smile. Sensing a nervousness from him you thanked him, trying to not overthink the gesture yourself. You never enjoyed drinking alcohol too much on a hot day, the idea that he’d still taken you into consideration and thought about you was almost causing you to spiral. He stood, running over to Tommy throwing the ball to the ground starting an impromptu game of football between the pair.

“Let the games begin!” Jonny bellowed with his hands in the air theatrically.

After much deliberation of set-up, Jonny taking a scoresheet layout far too seriously and Kate listing off her rules as a means to try and give herself any advantage, the beach championship got underway. The boys had their own football battle between them with Kate vaguely keeping score although you were certain Tommy hadn’t scored as much as she claimed, “Tommy taught me all about football, I know what I’m doing,” she’d protested your corrections and calls for a more unbiased referee. For the game of volleyball it would be Harriet versus Kate with you playing the winner followed by Jonny versus Dan, and the winner playing Tommy with the two winners then battling it out to be crowned victorious. It was fair to say petite Kate stood no chance against Harriet’s competitive nature and she did end up eating sand as Harriet had not-so-elegantly roared at her over the net taking the winning point. You had to remind her that the prize was merely pride and nothing more but she only claimed you were a weakling and would too end up eating sand.

Granted that you very quickly succumbed to the realisation that maybe she was right, you weren’t as fit as you were ten years ago and age was no longer on your side. The fun day on the beach was beginning to feel more like torture. Battling Harriet for a point you felt a drop of sweat run down your spine under the mesh top. As the ball hit the ground with Harriet failing to keep it up you took the pause in game to remove the layer.

“Set them free, girl!” Jonny - gentlemanly as ever – hollered in your direction watching you throw the top to the floor; Kate gave Tommy a slight whack to his abs in disapproval at his wolf whistling. The man whose reaction you were most concerned about you didn’t look for.

“I won’t be distracted by your tits! Seen ‘em plenty, not ruining my game, bitch!” Harriet fired some unexpected fighting talk your way; Daniel laughed out loud at the comment.

He wished he felt the same way given he had seen them countless times, but this time was different. This time he wasn’t admiring what was his smug with pride but what once was and god, he wished you were his. He felt his breath hitch slightly, attempting to swallow the thoughts of lust that roamed his head as he watched the way they perfectly bounced with your every move and reminding himself he only had himself to blame. He joined the hooting from the side-lines as he watched you beat Harriet with the next point, the strings of the bikini barely holding you together as you jumped in celebration. Now it was his turn to beat Jonny who most people described as uncoordinated and clumsy, whilst he considered himself to be a professional athlete, he was fairly confident he had this one in the bag. He was the one avoiding you on the side-lines but he caught a glimpse and couldn’t look away; your hands spreading a lotion across your chest, the skin between your breasts looking slick and smooth as your hands dipped under the material slightly to cover the area completely. The only thing breaking his eye contact was the ball whizzing past his face and hitting the sand at his feet.

“Got somewhere else to be, mate? First point to me,” Jonny jeered, a smug look on his knowing exactly what Dan was pre-occupied with and taking a clear advantage.

“Alright, I’ll let you have that one,” Dan cocked his eyebrow, up for the challenge and determined not to be beaten out of sheer embarrassment. Unsurprisingly, Dan won the challenge with Jonny’s single and free opening point of the game being his final. The trio of girls jumped in celebration but Dan avoided to look in the direction knowing he’d get distracted by the display once more, instead he cracked his neck and shook out his arms and legs keeping focus as Tommy approached the net. The match with Tommy ended up a much closer win than he’d have liked but it was a win, nevertheless. Dan knew he’d worked ten times as hard for the win than he probably should have and mostly it was to impress you like some idiot schoolboy with a crush.

Jonny updated the scoreboard with a scribble, “You know what this means!” Jonny yelled waiting for the pause before he cried out dramatically, “Battle of the exes!” Daniel instinctively wanting to laugh at his friends joke but halted, instead looking at you for your reaction. Your mouth was slightly agape, your hand running through the front of your hair and looking toward Harriet for confidence who was giving you a double thumbs up. Your chest rose and fell as you inhaled a deep breath and looked toward him. Dan asked if you were okay just by looking at you, subconsciously slipping into the silent conversations you could both have with your eyes. Whether he was glancing at you across the paddock even though you were both in two separate conversations or navigating bustling venues with so many voices surrounding you it was easier to remain quiet and go with the flow. He noticed it, the miniscule nod of your head that he was sure nobody else would’ve seen, you’d given him the same ‘I’m okay’ nod all those other times just as you did now. He half-smiled at you content that you were happy to carry on despite Jonny’s inappropriate outburst and glad that you could seemingly still read each other’s minds.

“Cheers for that one, cunt,” Dan noticed you laugh in approval of his remark in Jonny’s direction hoping he’d eased you before he looked at you with his large grin, “bring it on, peanut,” and he also noticed how your face dropped at the sound of your old pet name, suddenly worried he’d overstepped the line completely as he spoke without thinking.

* * *

“Sorry for kicking your ass before,” Dan made his way toward you in the sea, the pair of you up to your waist in the water, his toned torso stood in front of you was admirable as you ashamedly lingered on it a bit too long before looking back at his face with his goofy, smug, shit-eating grin telling you he’d caught you in the act.

“It’s okay,” you tried quickly to brush off your embarrassment and blushing cheeks under his knowing gaze. “Thought I’d let you have that one,” trying to sound nonchalant. The rest of the group were enjoying drinking games on the sand under the setting sun, Jonesy and his girlfriend Jules had arrived already tipsy from an afternoon meal and immediately continued their drinking into the night. “You not joining in the drinking games?” You asked merely to fill the silence.

Dan dunked his body under the water so he was just a floating neck and head as he answered, “no, I… I’m actually flying back out to Europe on Tuesday so not for me, no,” his eyes watching the water swish around his head rather than you. A sadness washed over you; this would probably be the last you’d see of him and you kicked yourself that you didn’t have longer, that you hadn’t made more of an effort, that the bottled water you thought he’d bought especially for you was actually for him and nothing more. Oh was all you managed out nodding your head in acknowledgement, “I’m actually going to head back home now, rest up, I just wanted to say bye in case I don’t see you,” he rose out of the water now and you were certain you saw the same sadness in his eyes.

“Can we walk?” The question escaped your lips before you had time to process the thought, his eyebrows raised slightly in surprise. You knew you had to have the closure that you were desperate for years prior and it felt like your final opportunity. “My apartment is on the way… we can talk…” you gave a hopeful smile but still prepared for a rejection just like you had done to him almost a week ago. Daniels face relaxed and agreed, following you out of the water and toward the sandy beach.

“Not a bad view from here,” Daniel teased from behind, reminiscent of his own joke a few days earlier, you turned and shot him a glare with a playful smile on your face. Dan halted in place as to not bump into you his eyes scanning your face. You wanted to kiss him, everyone else was too preoccupied in themselves to notice, a quick peek over your shoulder confirmed that, but the more you looked at him you knew you couldn’t give in. You had to have some self-respect, he left you, he left you because he didn’t love you. This was just Dan being his charismatic self, flirting as a way of joking. “Everything okay?” Dan nudged.

Snapping out of your thoughts you nodded and turned back to the beach, the pair of you drying off and layering up before saying goodbyes to a mixture of concerned and hopeful looks. You glanced at each other with a knowing laugh at the incessant chatter of whispering and gossip from the group as you made your way off the beach. Wandering through some streets in silence for a short while but you knew Dan wouldn’t last much longer in the quiet.

“My mum told me you went back to university,” you hummed and shared the psychology degree you were trying to attain for a second time. “Always knew you’d smash something like that if you put your mind to it,” it sounded better than I told you so which would’ve made you go feral if he ever uttered those words to justify breaking up with you. “You’ll look good in your little cap and gown at the end of it all,” he nudged your shoulder slightly with his but it was bittersweet. Achieving something you had strived for at the loss of the person you loved didn’t seem like a fair pay-off. The atmosphere between the two of you became thick like a black raincloud had suddenly swarmed over you. “I am sorry,” you felt the intensity and meaning of his words and immediately your eyes welled with tears, lip between your teeth with anxiety.

The courage you had in the ocean had vanished and you didn’t have the capacity to make it through a speech or apology deciding to interrupt him, “do you think we can be friends?” Slowing the pace slightly knowing you were only two more streets away from your building, Dan was uncharacteristically silent for a moment before you heard him take a large sigh.

“Honestly… I don’t know. I don’t know how to be your friend, we were always just you and me, you know?” He trailed off, his feet scuffing the pavement as he walked. You did know and a part of you was relieved that he was voicing your own apprehensions that you had successfully buried but there was another part of you that sank knowing that maybe this was it. No friendship, no relationship; when he leaves for Europe the chapter is finally complete. The pit in your stomach didn’t sit right with you; this wasn’t the closure you were searching for.

You reached outside of your apartment building, looking between your sandals and Dan’s vans speckled in sand. His stare was burning into your head causing you to look up and meet his eyes. His damp shorts stuck to his tattoo, the plain white tee hugging his chest in all the right places. You knew the overwhelming thought you couldn’t shake was most likely dangerous and testing but, “friends can come up for a drink, right?” You invited him anyway. His eyes searched yours for something you weren’t sure of before he answered.

“Friends can.” He smiled warmly, tugging open the door allowing you to step into the building first before he followed in behind you... enjoying the view.

Taglist tysm! @readerselegance @d0ntjudgemy50shades @dr3lover @onelovelife

#we all need a pick me up after today AMIRITE #would rather live in this fictional world rn #daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo fic #daniel ricciardo x you

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moemoemammon · 3 years

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So bear with me. MC sleeps like a rock. A bomb could go off next to them, and they don't wake up. Now, add shallow breathing, and they look like a corpse. You could mistake them for a corpse if you don't check their pulse.

How would the brothers (+ datables if you're not too picky hehe) react to the first time waking them up for school only to think they probably died in their sleep on day one??

Sleeping Like a Corpse!

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

Lucifer didn’t think much of you when you arrived, now could he be bothered to personally make sure you peeled yourself out of bed in the morning. So naturally, he sent Mammon to go do it.

But when Mammon came back complaining about how you didn’t budge an inch, big bro realized he’d have to take care of it himself, like usual.

He figured slamming your door open would’ve done the trick, but you remain still. And as much as he wants to drag you out of bed by the ankle, he knows how fragile humans can be. He opts for giving you a vigorous shake, and.... you don’t budge.

He calls your name, nothing. He literally pulls you upright by the shoulders and jostles you around like a protein shaker bottle, but you don’t move, and- wait... are you breathing? MAMMOOOOOO-

“Haaah... It’s your first morning with us, and you’re already causing me trouble. If it weren’t for the warmth of your skin, I’d have thought you were dead. Perhaps I should give you an enchanted alarm clock, if you prove to be this difficult to wake every morning.”

Mammon

Tch, he seriously didn’t get why THE Great Mammon had to do this sorta grunt work! Why should he have to make sure a lousy human gets up for school? It’s not like he’s their babysitter! but we all know he’s a p*ssy so he’s not gonna say that out loud

But that means he’s gonna make sure you know how irritated he is! Mammon bursts into your room, calling you a ‘stinkin’ human’ at the top of his lungs, and... you don’t move a muscle. So his next step is to stomp over and rip your blankets off, and..... you still don’t move.

What the hell? It’s like trying to wake up Belphie! He leans in to try to smack you awake, when he finally notices how it...kinda...looks like you aren’t breathing.

Wait. Wait wait wait-! SURE he didn’t feel like having to watch you, but that didn’t mean he wanted you to die on the first night! Lucifer was gonna KILL him-! Did you die of fright or something?! He didn’t really mean all that stuff he said about eating you, you know?! Hey, snap out of it-!

“What the- You’re ALIVE?! I thought you died in your sleep, dammit! TCH! What’s the big idea, playin’ dead like that?! Ya tryin’ to get me in trouble?!” “-N-no I wasn’t worried about ya!”

Leviathan

Why does HE have to wake you up..? Sure, he has to go to school today anyway for the student council meeting, but what does that have to do with a human..? Couldn’t Lucifer have asked ANYONE else..?

Beyond annoyed when he enters your room. What’s he supposed to do?? Shake you?? Hit you with something???? Levi opts for awkwardly poking your side, and noticing how you don’t react. Great. Ugh... this sucked....

He tries again, then pokes the back of your head, tugs your sleeve, shakes your arm... then you roll over from the movement and he nearly has a heart attack. Not only because you surprised him, but because you.. wait, did you die?!

Stuck between “LMAOOOO ROFLMAO the human died on their first night! What a noob! #fail!” and “KDAKLFHLDSJFKL OH NO HELLO?????”

“WH- Ahhh... I thought you were dead. You know how long Lucifer would've lectured if if you died, right? He'd be so mad, i bet he'd even confiscate my D.D.D.! Normies like you are nothing but trouble. This is why a human shouldn't even be here..."

Satan

What a chore... This felt like more of a punishment than anything, and Satan hadn’t even done anything yet. Unless Lucifer already discovered the ink he dripped into his shampoo? Either way, he wasn’t the slightest bit interested in you.

But seeing as he got to hang around you in your most vulnerable state, wouldn’t it be funny if he put a curse on you? He was sure that whatever he chose would become a headache for Lucifer in some way, so the possibilities were endless.

Temporary blindness, backwards speech, rainbow colored skin, extreme bad luck, he didn’t know what to choose! Ah, and there were a few curses he wanted to use on Lucifer that needed to be tested out, so why not experiment on you?

He had plenty of time to pick the perfect one and- ah. Were you.. dead? Did someone beat him to the punch?

“Ah, so you’re alive after all. And here I thought I could harass Lucifer with knowing his human had died in their sleep. Well, it’ll have to wait, I guess...I was really looking forward to the expression on his face...”

Asmo

What? Lucifer was ACTUALLY letting him go in the cute little human’s room, completely unsupervised? What a bold move, dearest big brother~! There’s no way he’d pass up the chance to take a peek at your sleeping face! You were pretty cute, but he’d like to see if you were worth his attention.

That being said, Asmo creeps into your room like a sneaky toddler, and doesn’t hesitate to grab your shoulder and roll you over to get a good look at your sleeping face. Hmm... Not bad!

So with that, he hops right into your bed unannounced, bouncing you around and giving you that innocent giggle of his. Aren’t you lucky? You get to be woken up by the endlessly charming Asmo-chan~! The first thing you’ll see is his gorgeous face, and you’ll be blessed with the perfect first school day!

Why, there are hundreds and thousands of demons who wish they were as lucky as you were right now! He’s seen how they’ll fight tooth and nail for a chance to-..... hey, how come you’re not breathing..? Er, he’s not really into that sort of thing...

“Oh thank goodness! I thought you up and died before I had a chance to get to know you! You know how disappointed I’d be, right? Knowing I wasn’t able to explore the cute human living in our house... it’d be a tragedy!”

Beel

Surprisingly, he doesn’t mind that much. Having to go and wake you up reminds him of when Belphie was still around, so it’s familiar and feels kind of nice. What DOESN’T feel nice is that he’s missing valuable time he could be spending inhaling his breakfast, because you won’t wake up.

Hangry Beel enters your room with a bagel in his mouth, so you couldn’t understand what he was saying even if you were awake. Just know he’s calling your name and threatening to eat your breakfast. It’s your loss if you miss out.

Hm... You don’t wake up even after he shakes you, so he’s tempted to just leave. But he knows Lucifer will scold you if he returns downstairs without you, so he’s got to improvise.

It’s fine if he just carries you downstairs, right? He’s just tryin to eat man why can’t you- ...Beel is noticing a distinct lack of breath coming from you when he picks you up. Uhhh

“Oh, you aren’t dead. I was going to ask Lucifer if we could have you for breakfast too, but I guess that’s not an option anymore. He says hurry up and get dressed, and that you should give me your breakfast. Bye.”

Belphie

He’s in the attic, so same lmao.

Twins! Still gonna strangle and throw you down the stairs in the future tho

Couple goals amirite?

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effeminateboyninja · 3 years

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♡ konoha 11 wedding hcs! ♡ pt. 1

+ sasuke

Naruto

literally bouncing off the walls the day he plans to do it, you know something's up. "Naruto, what's up with you today?" "wha-what do you mean, what's up with you?!" and there's that adorable blush, "you look very pretty today btw"

takes you to dinner at your favourite place and not Ichiraku's for once, and this poor man, his cheeks are beet red and he's stumbling over his words the whole time. and he keeps fiddling with something in his pocket?? finally, he works up the nerve and gets out of his seat to kneel in front of you, and for the first time all the night he doesn't stutter, "(y/n), I love you so much, and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. will you marry me?"

huge summer wedding! he invites the whole village because he's so proud to be officially become your husband and he wants everyone who helped him get to this point see it. his eyes well up and his face breaks out into the biggest grin when he sees you walk down the aisle, you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen

your song: electric love by BORNS

Sakura

she's been head over heels for years, so she thinks why not? she's definitely not going to wait around any longer for you to do it, so she goes and buys the ring

she wanted it to be a perfect proposal, but as shinobi things don't always work out as planned amirite? you guys get called off on a mission and after coming so close to losing you she decides she needs to do it now. so while you're both sitting there panting, covered in dirt and blood, and she looks over and pulls out the small box weakly. "I wanna spend my life with you (y/n), no matter how long we might have. marry me?"

after the tumultuous proposal you two plan the wedding perfectly. it's a romantic spring affair with everyone who cares about you present. when you see each other for the first time tears well in both your eyes, you can't believe this is really happening! the reception goes long into the night, you two holding onto one another dancing the whole time

your song: lover by taylor swift

Sasuke

he wasn't expecting to want to marry you as much as he does, but soon he considers it he can't stop imagining you walking down the aisle towards him and he knows he's got to ask or risk going crazy

agonizes over every detail of the proposal. he ends up writing you a love letter, and at the end he asks you to meet him at the place you met for the first time. you arrive and he's already down on his knee, surrounded by candles. "(y/n), you're the love of my life. would you give me the honour of marrying you?"

private and elegant winter wedding. the snow falls around you as you say your vows and he keeps your hands warm in his. he's not usually one to be romantic in public but this is an exception, his vows brings tears to your eyes with their sincerity

your song: yes to heaven by lana del rey

Kiba

he can't wait to ask you to marry him, he's known since day one that you were the one for him. he's so excited to do it he basically drags you to the spot he spent the whole day picking out, it's in a clearing in the woods and you're surrounded by flowers

he's looking at you with that adorable goofy grin you love so much but you have no idea what he's up to until he kneels in front of you. "omg Kiba... are you?" "shh, (y/n) I planned out a speech." and he tells you how much you mean to him and how he wants to spend every single day with you, will you please marry him?

he lets you do most of the planning, he just wants it to be perfect for you. all he asks is that the reception is a huge party. so it happens on a perfect summer day, and when he see's you walking towards him he can't believe his eyes, he's lucky enough to marry the most beautiful woman in the world. he won't cry, but prepare for a wolf whistle or something of the sort

your song: jackie and wilson by hozier

Hinata

she's wants to marry you so badly, but she's too shy to ask herself so you start noticing her drop little hints like "oh did you hear so-and-so are getting married? that's so lovely" and you notice a page open on her computer browsing engagement rings?

and honestly you've been waiting for a sign like this for months so you pick out the ring right away, and plan to take her for a romantic dinner. afterwards while you're walking home together under the stars you get down on one knee, and she doesn't even let you finish the question before she's wrapping you in her arms, "yes! yes! yes!"

it's an elegant winter wedding, puffy snowflakes falling slowly outside as you you exchange your vows in front of your loved ones. she walks down the aisle towards you and your heart almost stops, she's absolutely glowing. your first dance feels like there's no one else in the room

your song: if my heart was a house by owl city

Shino

omg he's such a sweetheart about it, he asks Hinata for all the advice he can get because he wants it to be perfect. but no matter how much he plans it out in his head he's still nervous

he takes you for a romantic picnic out in the woods so you too can be alone, he knows he'll chicken out if anyone else is around. but as the afternoon goes on he remembers why he loves you so much, you make him feel so at ease and confident in himself. so he turns to you and pulls out the ring, so sure about what he's about to do "will you marry me, (y/n)?"

the wedding is a pretty small traditional affair, but all your friends and family are there to watch you two take this step into the next chapter of your lives together. he's glad he has his glasses on because he does shed a tear when he sees you for the first time, he can't help it

your song: without words by ray lamontagne

481 notes · View notes

parchmentedpetrichor · 3 years

Text

➳the girl in the lilac dress ♠ ♡

in which y/n meets fred's ex-girlfriend, days after fred confessed his love for her. there's still some confusion on the status of their relationship. angst -> fluff. narrated by you, y/n l/n.

fred weasley x fem!reader

word count: ±5.4k

tw: angst (not too bad though), mean words, blood, mentions of auror missions, kidnapping, needles, st mungo's

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ft. hermione, lee and alicia

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

the girl in the lilac dress

i was in a good mood. on the way to work to receive my mission, i was humming a song that had just come out. it was catchy and worth the wait.

out of the corner of my eye, a lilac colour appeared suddenly. strange, i thought. it approached me, in the form of a beautiful woman. she had the lightest grey eyes and the smoothest milky-white skin, and the shiniest locks of dark brown hair. she walked in a flowy lilac gown, her slim model-like body walking in a model-like fashion.

i was pretty sure she wasn't headed towards me, but when her luxurious voice said "good morning" in the calmest tone possible to me, i looked at her confusedly.

"hi!" i replied brightly, smiling.

she smiled sinisterly, "my name is pretoria aphrodite, i'm fred's ex-girlfriend."

he hadn't ever mentioned an ex, but i knew he had dated quite a few people. she made me seem like a glass of water next to a glass of red wine, naive and ugly. i was those two things anyway.

"oh! i'm y/n l/n! nice to meet you, you do seem like a daughter of aphrodite," i said politely.

"darling, all women are daughters of aphrodite. i understand fred's interested in you?"

she observed me and i laughed.

"i don't think that's quite the word. he's my best friend."

"friends with benefits?"

"oh gosh no! i don't really know where we stand, honestly."

"bitter about it?"

i thought for a second, "nah, i couldn't be. love's a hard thing."

"it is, indeed, and you work for the ministry?"

i nodded, "head of the auror office. what about you?"

"i model for witch weekly."

i gasped, "you're the p. aphrodite? i should've known!"

"big fan?" she looked amusedly at me.

"my friends are, so naturally i am."

"you don't seem the type fred usually goes for."

"i wouldn't say he's even going for me," i said cautiously.

"you are much too cutesie for his type."

i glanced up at her. she was smiling kindly.

"pfft, but better cutesie than nothing, amirite?" i asked friendlily, "well it's been nice to talk with you, but i gotta hurry!"

"no worries, i'll come with you, i have some business at the ministry too. have you seen his past exes?"

"uhh, not really?"

"well they're all models for one magazine or another."

"oh, okay. and that's important because...?" i asked her carefully.

"i just thought you should know."

i laughed, "i'm not model material, am i? i don't mind at all."

she looks taken aback. "i would say, with longer hair," she plucked a hair out of my poor mess of locks, "and a shorter upper body, with perhaps lip fillers, you'd look model-like."

her tone was analysing and not at all attacking.

"only three things??" i asked, shocked.

"you are rather... pretty already," she mused, "not model-like, but cute."

we had reached the ministry.

"thanks, see you later!" she waved and disappeared.

all that was left was a buzzing fly which soon flew away.

i immediately dialled in my auror code in the red telephone box and was sent into hermione granger's office.

"'mione! how good to see you!" i hugged her.

"hello y/n!"

in the ministry and the auror department, the head of the auror office was probably more important than the minister for magic. i didn't know why. she had brought me a cup of hot chocolate.

"thanks, 'mione, you didn't need to. what's the mission today?"

"two babies are being held hostage in a coded location by a person who calls themselves the light lord. dark lord, light lord, y'know?" she handed me a coded piece of parchment.

i thoughtfully pondered, "the light lord. who do you need?"

"i was hoping you go on this mission, then you could give me some news on this light lord person."

"that's doable. we'll need to bring in hepole and a ministry official to negotiate passports and such. and a strong auror team."

"right on it. i'll get wally becker and charlotte-ann becker. they're a force to be reckoned with on the borders."

"how much experience?"

"they're twins, been doing this for about fifty years now."

"perfect. and hepole?"

"on the way."

"thanks, minister," i winked at her, getting out my telephone and dialling the disguise unit.

"hello, poplinn speaking."

"pop, we need a few disguises. light lord."

"miss l/n! o-of course!"

"and pop?"

"y-yeah?"

"call me y/n."

i hung up, dialling harry's office.

"harry, call draco and be in my office in ten minutes. i don't care what business he's doing with scorpius, we've got babysitters here. light lord, perhaps a second of voldemort."

"of course."

i picked up the ringing phone that was in the corner of hermione's office.

"y/n, me and scorpy are having a zoo day, we're at the muggle zoo you suggested."

"sorry dray, but it's important."

"there's no one else?"

"there are others, but we need your expertise."

there was a pause, "i won't need to show my dark mark?"

"it's fading anyway. no."

"i'll be paid?"

"in hundreds."

"how old are the children?"

"2 and 4," hermione said.

the silence told me he was sold.

"i'll be there."

i picked up the big microphone and said, "auror unit 156 to the brief room. no need to bring anything. see you there!"

"good luck," hermione grimly said, "be safe, head."

"mhm and cup o' coffee tomorrow? if i survive, that is," i grinned.

"'course."

i smiled, "c'ya!"

she was shaking her head.

"oi, no disappointment, 'mione! i was the one who got the ministry out of paperwork!"

"burning paper doesn't count, y/n."

"it wasn't burning paper, hermione granger, it was arson."

"no, it was the saddest form of arson i've ever seen."

"hey! that's rude."

"just go on your mission already."

i laughed, "on it, minister. kalle?"

kalle looked at me, "yes?"

"tell miss minister to take a break and play a game or something, will you?"

she smiled, "okay."

"give my thanks to your mother too, loved the cookies!"

"alright, good luck, head!"

"thanks, bye!"

i apparated to the brief room, where everyone was strapped into special camouflage clothes.

i handed hepole the parchment and immediately began briefing the unit, harry and draco, on the mission.

"please be safe out there. if you're injured, apparate or travel back here, okay?"

i looked at hepole.

he cleared his throat, "they're in albania. the forest there."

"okay. harry and draco will provide attacking forces," the two nodded.

"i want lopex, quentin blake, quentin grill and hilly to break into any establishment," i say to the team, "and eron, hawks, melv, argonas to hold the offender hostage. johnathan, team healer as always. i'll take the children. hepole, you come and accompany us till the forest, then you have my permission to stay back, and beckers, stay invisible with the cloak, write a report for the minister when you come back, understand? have faith, team! i believe in you. we travel by apparition with the machine in three minutes. call your family, chat, have a snack, drink some water, and relax."

i picked up my telephone and dialled my parents.

"hi mum, dad, i'm going on a mission!"

"alright, be safe sweetie," my mum called.

"yeah, don't die kiddo," my dad added.

"right right, i love you, bye!"

the mission was successful. we rescued the children and sent the kidnapper to trial for azkaban. i escaped with a gash on my forearm, but quickly fixed it up with a spell. it ended late in the evening, so the team healer had gone home. the wound kept opening again, but i wasn't sure if it needed stitches.

putting everything away and making sure the aurors were okay, i headed back to the apartment i shared with fred.

i felt emotionally and physically drained, ready to enjoy a good shower and a good late dinner.

when i fiddled with the key to the door and opened it, my heart absolutely stopped.

pretoria aphrodite was kissing fred passionately. i felt my heart fall ten thousand flights of stairs in disappointment. of course. i was all a rebound who was pathetically in love with him.

when they stopped and saw me, pretoria smirked and fred stood up, astounded.

"uhh, continue? sorry," i apologised awkwardly.

"wait, y/n, it's not what it looks like-" he said.

"i don't mind, be safe," i smiled, too tired and too weak to do anything, closing the door and feeling tears well up in my eyes as i took my bag and myself somewhere. anywhere away from this all. my wound burned. i cursed under my breath as i made my way to st mungo's.

"y/n, you should have come here earlier!" yvonne, my friend, says, as she slowly injects a needle into me, "it's infected! and it needs stitches."

i laughed, "everything needs stitches. this is why i didn't become a healer, yvonne."

she shook her head in dismay.

"lol."

i watched the needle go in.

then she stitched the bloody mess of a wound up, cleaning it gently.

"now i can't stay, y/n," i pouted, "no, don't give me that face, i have other patients."

i nodded, "thanks yvonne."

"no problems. take care. you're too reckless."

"am not!"

she laughed. "that's funny."

after the trip to st mungo's which was pretty short, i wondered what to do. my mind kept floating to the scene i had just witnessed.

i was just the stupid, stupid, girl he used as a rebound. he didn't even use me as a real rebound, just someone who was simply infatuated with him to help him forget his unforgettable ex.

looking at a shop window, i caught a glimpse of myself. i hated being insecure but it happened.

i looked ugly. eyes too small, nose too big, lips not full enough. my thighs touched and i didn't have abs. i had a long gash running down my forearm, surrounded by other cuts. my hair was messy and disgusting. compared to the angel on earth pretoria was, i was nothing. small and plain was nothing when luxurious and beautiful was present.

and it hurt. my heart hurt. my head hurt.

i shook my head gently of my thoughts, chuckling bitterly.

fred weasley was completely and utterly out of my league.

whatevs, i thought. hurting was fine.

deciding to get over him once and for all, i bought some groceries and apparated to the doorstep of lee and alicia's glamorous cottage.

i knocked twice on the door. "hellooo!" i called out.

"baby, can you get that?" lee asked alicia.

alicia opened the door, smiling as she saw me.

"hey ali!"

"hi! come in!"

at first glance i could tell she knew something wrong.

"can i sleep here tonight? and take a shower? and eat some of your food please guys? and maybe steal a shirt i left here for safekeep? and maybe use your telephone? i'm really sorry for troubling you, so i got you guys snacks."

i was the second cousin by marriage of lee. it was good overall, but he was super naughty.

"snacks?"

"your favourites."

"then i guess you can," he said cheekily and i laughed.

"alicia, i don't know how or why you ended up with this child, but i'm glad you did," i told her and she laughed heartily.

"he's cute, isn't he?"

"no," i quickly stepped into the guest bedroom and took a long shower, letting a few tears slip but not enough so that it looked like it. i was subtle.

i bundled up in heavy clothing and wrapped my hair in a towel.

gingerly, i bandaged the wound.

by the snores in the other room, lee was asleep. i crept out quietly, going to cook something.

alicia was sitting down, with my favourite comfort meal prepared. i felt tears of appreciation well up in my eyes.

"thank you, ali, i love you."

"you damn well do."

we both giggled.

"what happened?" she asked me.

"nothing. i just wanted a change."

"from fred? liar. i'll ask again. what happened, y/n?"

"just a long mission, that's all."

"after long missions you usually watch movies with fred."

"couldn't i visit my best friend and my cuz?"

"you visit us on weekends. it's a friday."

"well i wanted to visit you!"

"bullshit."

"is it that hard to believe?"

"what the fuck did fred do to you?"

"nothin'?"

"c'mon y/n, you have to tell me. there's a reason why you didn't go to angie and george's tonight."

"i went here because they're super kissy. you guys have space and act normally. i appreciate that."

"you're awesome at lying."

"i'm not lying!"

"does this happen to involve pretoria aphrodite?"

i nodded, sighing, "she's so nice and pretty." i played with my food.

"i bumped into her. she's pretty, but not nice."

"oh?"

"she called me fiercely ugly. she forgot i model for witch weekly too."

"what did you say back?"

"i told her to fuck off."

i laughed, "she was very nice to me. but next time i see her imma kill her."

"of course she was nice to you, you're a lil angel! anyway, she's an animagus, didya know?"

"whoa how did you know?"

"caught her in a jar. she's a fly. who do you think told hermione to catch rita skeeter in the jar?"

i laughed, "rita skeeter is a beetle! gosh, she's annoying."

"what did fred and pretoria do?"

"nothing."

"please tell me?"

"they-" i swallowed, "they were kissing, and so i came here because i didn't wanna watch anymore."

"hang on, he told you he loved you a few days ago?"

i nodded.

"that doesn't seem right."

i shrugged, "pretoria's better than me. i don't blame him."

"his mother would kill him!"

i shrugged again, "i don't think he was legit when he said that."

"molly weasley, y/n!"

"look, he can explain it to you, i don't even wanna hear it. the first stage of mourning is denial, they say."

"doesn't mean it's good."

"denial is awesome. it's ignorance, but you choose to be stupid. i'm already so stupid!" i groaned, covering my face with my hands, "so so so so so so so stupid, foolish, dumb, and i don't want you to tell me i'm not because i know i am. pathetic."

i gobbled down the rest of the meal, "ths 's delicous," i said, swallowing, "g'night!"

"don't be afraid to let it all out."

"yeah."

i shut the door softly, before brushing my teeth and collapsing exhaustedly on the bed, nodding off quickly.

the next day, i woke at 4am, and put on new clothes, apparating to the phone box and filling out paperwork for the missions yesterday.

i joined hermione quickly, handing her a cappucino and sipping my mocha.

"court sitting this early?" she asked me.

i nodded, "mistake of sirius black, now they do all court sittings within 24 hours of arrest."

"that's smart."

"yeah. it's good. he's obviously guilty right? just a dust of veritaserum to bring it all out?"

"i reckon he'll just confess."

"criminals don't go down easily."

"you guys did a spotting job. the children were unharmed."

"are they here today?"

"they're in st mungo's. being monitored."

"parents?"

"dead."

"oh gosh, those poor children. what's going to happen to them?"

"someone's adopting them, wally becker and his wife."

"that's awesome."

the court hushed as we entered the room. hermione and i shared amused glances and began the sitting.

he was found to be guilty and was chucked in azkaban.

"what an idiot, sending a message like that."

"yup," i chuckled, "what with hepole in our ministry, they never escape."

we laughed.

"how's everything with ron?" i asked her.

"i don't know if he's still into me?"

i almost laugh at her statement, "bro. of course he is."

"i never see him."

"then see him more!"

"how? i'm so busy!"

"busy enough for ron?" we both took sandwiches from the canteen lady with courteous smiles and words.

we sat down at the cafeteria.

"i guess not, but he's busy!"

"busy enough for you?"

"i guess not."

"'xactly."

"but he might not wanna go on a date."

"why? the boy's obsessed with you, 'mione!"

the aurors and ministry workers looked at us in fear as i rose up. i chuckled.

i immediately skipped over to the telephone, putting in the WWW's number.

"y/n! what on earth are you doing?" hermione said in a panicked tone.

"nothing to be worried 'bout."

"hello?" it was george. i thanked the heavens for that.

"yolo george, give the phone to your lil bro please."

"'kay."

hermione was gaping at me. i smirked at her.

"y/n?"

"hey ron, i want you to meet me in rosemary park at 5pm today."

"o-okay."

"could you also bring hermione's favourite snacks and wear an extra jumper?"

"what? why?"

"i'm curious, that's all," i said, "see you there!"

"is that y/n?" i heard fred's voice.

"nup, it isn't," i replied.

and with that, i hung up.

"hey 'mione?"

she was glaring at me, "what."

"meet me at rosemary park at 5pm?" i batted my eyelashes at her, before bursting out in laughter.

she laughed, "i love you."

"pfft, love ya too. you really are too careful. like he would reject you."

"what do you think i should wear?"

"let's go off work early today, at 3," i suggested, "we're both on top of our work anyway."

"okay! you wanna go now?"

"it's 11?"

"yeah!"

"alrighty! kalle!"

kalle turned to us, "yes?"

"hi! me and minister are going out to talk about the mission."

"alright, bye."

we apparate to hogsmeade.

"what theme do you wanna go for?"

"hmm," she thought for a second, "floral!"

"alrighty!" i fumbled for my cell phone and dialled the WWW's again.

"hello?" it was fred this time.

"heyo freddie," i said to him like nothing had ever happened, "tell ron to dress up at 5 pm in something cute but not too out there, preferably in florals or somethin', and he better bring me hermione's favourite flowers."

"wha? if he's going with you then- ohhhh."

"thanks, bye."

"wait!"

"mhm?"

"can we talk?"

"erm- about what exactly?"

"everything."

i sighed, "later, okay? i'm out with hermione and you've got work."

"okay. have a good time, lovely."

"you too."

i was utterly confused. here he was one day kissing pretoria, and now he was calling me lovely?

what the hell was going on?

"let's go, mione!"

we went and bought her a pretty pink dress with white lilies adorning it. it was cute and definitely casual, sort of like a sundress.

"what if he doesn't come?" hermione chewed on her lip.

"hermione jean granger, we both know that ron is absolutely definitely a thousand times head over heels in love with you. he wouldn't ditch you for the world! and look at you! anyone can see he's lucky to have you! you both are star-crossed. when has he ever ever ditched you?"

"with lav brown."

"lavender, she's, she's dead, hermione," i said carefully, "fenrir greyback bit her to death. it was a tragic, heroic, death. she was listed in the extended casualties sent to my office a few months after the battle. i think she's watching down on us from wherever she is up there."

"she's dead?"

"yeah," i replied sadly, "life is so short."

"yeah."

"what i'm tryna say, is that that might've happened, but it won't happen again now that he knows you love him and he loves you. understand?"

"yeah."

"and love him well, for the sake of lavender brown."

"for the sake of lavender brown," she said, smiling.

"yup, now, light lord. his name is actually pont knight."

"pont knight?"

"former assistant of me."

"pont knight?"

"yeah, i know right."

"how did he go again?"

"oh, i fired him," i laughed.

"why?"

"smart guy but terribly lazy and he kept asking for promotions! like please do something if you want money."

"interesting."

"he moved to eastern europe to chase after the trendiness of the islands. i think it was just an excuse. he's changed. he used to be clean-shaven and have the blondest hair."

"do you think he did anything else?"

"we did put him on veritaserum, right?"

"yeah, but it's illegal to put someone on it for more than 10 minutes now in court sittings."

"we could go visit him in azkaban later? i'll take gregir."

"yeah, maybe tomorrow or the day after?"

i nodded, "'course. today is a rest day for the aurors right?"

she nodded, "yeah, half of the agency is at home or working out in the gym."

"good. sometimes this work is so tolling, 'mione."

"yeah, i heard from st mungo's you got hurt?" her eyes were concerned.

i rolled up my sleeve, "that's it."

"that's it? what do you mean, that's terrible! you need to take better care of yourself."

"well sometimes it's hard to. it was worth it."

we continued chatting until it was 4:30.

"oop!" she checked her watch, "i have to go!"

"good luck! tell me how it goes, minister! i'll head back to check if anyone's called for you or me and dust it all up."

"thanks. i owe you."

"nah. i owe my job to you. if minister for magic didn't exist, i wouldn't either. i love you 'mione, be safe!"

"love you too!"

i apparated to the phone box and typed my letters in.

with a whoosh, i immediately spotted two letters and a beeping phone. i answered the phone, solving the problem of the woman on the other end of the line and scribbled a reply to both of the letters.

i finished the paperwork and sent it off, then visited my office. it was piling with letters. i answered all of them, redirecting some of them to different departments, before calling everyone back.

i spotted some of the aurors from yesterday's mission sitting in the cafeteria and talking.

i sat down next to them, "how are you guys doing? any injuries?"

they shook their heads, "we've been spending time in the healer's office and just exercising lightly by the orders of johnny," argonas explained and i nodded.

"take it lightly, and go home if you want to. seeing family always helps the process, hopefully not too many nightmares?"

they laughed, "nightmares all the time, miss," hawk said lightly, "get used to it in this job."

i frowned, "have you tried speaking to doctor yvonne? she might have ways to solve nightmares."

"ahh, miss, sleeping draughts can only do so much," hawk replied cordially.

i laughed, "alright, hawkeye, but just make sure you're not getting traumatised okay? what about you, lopex, quentins?"

they shrugged.

"it's okay? the door was very hard to bust into," lopex said quietly, "we had to try several bombarding charms."

"now, lop, it was easy work!" draco said, sitting down, "hello, head auror, hello unit."

it brought on a cacophony of greetings.

"how are you doing, dray?" harry sat down next to him, "hi everyone!"

we all replied with more greetings and a steady conversation started and flowed for a couple of hours.

i felt my cell phone go off and i excused myself, noting it was 9pm already.

i apparated to the apartment doorstep, knocking on the door just in case anything was happening. i checked the caller id, it was hermione.

fred opened the door, hair messy, still good looking. i smiled at him, patting his shoulder as i ran to the ringing telephone and picked it up.

"y/n!" i could just hear the beam in hermione's voice.

"'mione! how did it go?"

"absolutely wonderful, head auror, ahhh, he's so cute!"

"what happened?" i asked, smiling already.

"well it was really cold when i saw the picnic blanket, which was matching my dress for some weird reason, and ron was there in the cutest button up and he looked so handsoME and he gave me a flower, he's always handsome but i just can't! ahhhh!" she squealed and i clapped my hands in excitement.

"and then i was shivering and he gave me hiS JUMPER and it smelled like him and oh my gosh i think i might just be in love, y/n!"

i giggled, "my cooling charm did work!"

"whaT y/n????"

cackling, i said, "continue, i wanna hear more this is so adorable!!!"

i ignored the dirty glance fred gave me, quietening my voice.

"and then we had food and he said he had cooked it himself and was being such a dear and i told him that i loved him over and over again!!!"

i squealed silently again.

"and, and, gosh my english has gone out of the window!"

"english is nothing compared to the language of love!!" i giggled.

"we watched the sunset whilst cuddling, and i fell asleep and then when i woke up i was in his bed and he was looking at me intently and i just, i'm the luckiest girl alive!"

"you are but you deserve it! that's so sweet! i'm happy for you goshhh, you are the cutest couple. you're both such darlings!"

"and then we watched a muggle movie and he got scared of the spiders and it was so adorable ahhhhHHHH!!!"

"that's the cutesttttt," i gushed.

another dirty look from fred. i gave him a frown back.

"and then he walked me home and it started raining and we kissed in the rain and another check off of my bucketlist and oh my gosh he's so perfect."

"oh gosh that's beautiful," i was smiling uncontrollably.

"anyway," her tone changed into one of mischief, "wanna meet up tomorrow to talk about it?"

"sure thing! when and where? i'll be there!"

"erm, lemme chec- think," i heard the suspicious rustling of papers.

"you're sus. let's just talk about it over the phone. i don't want anything weird."

"how about 10 am in the morning at the field of fireflies?"

"that's a highly romantic place, miss minister. isn't it for couples or something?"

"no? you must be talking about fiona farm."

oh. "yeah, probs, well okay, it better have good coffee. i'm dying of boredom too, does it have a playground??" i asked, hopefully crossing my fingers.

"nope."

"awww, shucks, i don't think i'll go then. you wanna come over though?"

"no please come! there's a surprise!"

i was sold, "lovely. i'll be there at 9:30!"

"no, no, don't do that."

"what the hell, hermione, you're being so suspicious!"

"i'm not, okay? just come on time, you won't regret it."

"if there's any funny business i'm not committing arson ever again."

"oh crap."

i sighed.

"just come anyway!!! good night cheerio!!!"

"what the-"

the line ended.

i frowned, noticing the glare fred gave me yet again.

"is everything okay??" i asked him.

"no," he said rudely.

"well, do you need any help?"

"no."

"how was your day?"

"fine."

i sighed, "okay."

"you called ron cute."

i laughed lightly, "that's it?? and so what's kissing a girl huh, nothing? i called him cute because he treats 'mione like a goddess, because she is a goddess, for goodness sake. and he is cute, in a completely objective way," i added absentmindedly, "all you weasleys are."

he frowned.

"she kissed me!"

"oh i don't mind, i couldn't. my two braincells can't handle it. you kiss whoever you wanna, okay? live, laugh, love, and all that." i smiled.

he was silent.

"and we can talk after i meet up with hermione, okay?"

"okay."

"we don't needa if you don't wanna, of course. g'night."

"have a nice sleep."

the next morning, i got up and went to the field of fireflies or whatever.

it was a beautiful place. it was a full on field. meadows stretched across the near english countryside. the sky was clear and light, and the world around me was stunning.

winds blew from all directions, and i soon found myself accio!ing a jumper.

"hermioneeee???" i called, "you're leaving me hanging."

had hermione stood me up? i chuckled at the very thought, soon rolling in the field of flowers as i laughed.

"hermione you devil you stood me up! you left your poor little work wife hanging!" i shouted dramatically.

i suddenly spotted a little house? by the side of the meadow.

i ran towards it.

"whoa."

it was absolutely magnificent. beige little bricks were stacked on top of each other, grey bricks dotted in. the shillings were dark green, and plants hung out everywhere in the cracks of the house.

large windows which reflected the blue light in the sky spanned across the whole house, and a single wooden door stood ajar.

i just wish i had brought a camera. i sat on the grass, playing with the hem of my jumper sadly. even hermione didn't have time for me. i wondered what a sad person i must seem like.

"contemplating life there?" i heard a far off voice. i swung my head around, seeing fred standing and grinning.

yeah well duh i was, no thanks to you, i thought.

i immediately got up.

"we can talk here, right?" fred asked, as he brought me into the house.

"wow," inside, it was cluttered and messy, with plants sprouting everywhere and bookcases and things everywhere. i loved it.

"you like it?" he asked.

"love it."

"good, because i bought it," he laughed at my flabbergasted expression, "i'm rich, darlin'. let's sit, i cooked lunch."

"was this your plan? to have hermione stand me up?" i asked.

"love, i wouldn't call this a plan. simply just a boy trying to explain himself."

"look i don't need an explanation. i told you, you can love whoever you wanna, i don't mind, i don't care, i support."

"but i'm gonna have to explain because i wanna kiss you."

"then go ahead," i sighed, "if you're lying i will stab you."

"jeesh okay."

i looked at him.

"oh yeah, i forgot the food, here," he said casually, handing me a plate filled with yummy looking delicacies. i was willing to put up with his rubbish story telling for the food, i guess.

"alright, i'm all ears."

"okay. so she talked with you right?"

i nodded.

"did she take a piece of hair from you?”

i nodded again.

"so you came home just right about when the night lights flicker on in london. or so i thought it was you. it was actually, aphrodite, yeah? in polyjuice potion. and she knocked on the door, which i thought was strange. i opened it and she immediately kissed me, as you. and it was weird but it was you and i would give the world to kiss you like that," he said bluntly and i could feel my face heating up, "and then it went like that for a few seconds and she turned into pretoria, and by then the woman had her claws on me. then the door opened and i knew i had made a mistake and then you left and apologised so sweetly. i'm so so sorry, my love, please, i never meant to hurt you, i never meant to do anything. i broke up with her last year. i haven't wanted to be with her since. i want to be with you."

i looked at him. i knew he was genuine.

"okay. i'm sorry too, for not trusting you. i guess i was just really unsure of our relationship. it's still kinda blurry."

"what do you wanna be?"

"could we be official, please?"

he grinned, "of course."

then smiling sheepishly, he added, "can i kiss you now?"

"only if i'm the only girl you kiss from now on," i teased, smiling.

he blushed, placing my hands over his heart. it was beating very very fast.

"feel that, beautiful?"

i nodded.

"only you."

he gave me a cheesy grin and laughed at my blushing face, before tilting my head upwards and going in for a kiss but kissing my cheek.

"that's not fair!"

and that's how his head ended up falling into my lap, as i ran my fingers through his ginger strands.

he had fallen asleep just as the sunset began.

it was breathtaking. hues of orange and red danced across the sky.

"i can think of something a lot more beautiful than that," fred said, smiling.

"oh?"

"yeah. yeah."

"i don't believe you."

"that's because you can't see yourself right now."

145 notes · View notes

makeste · 4 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD

#bnha 292 #best jeanist #todoroki touya #dabi #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku #hadou nejire #toogata mirio #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

487 notes · View notes

xpeachesncream · 3 years

Note

Hey Nikki! Could you do a perfectly wrong drabble of reader thinking she is pregnant? thank you <3

perfectly wrong | drabble [10]: why are there multiple kinds of pregnancy tests for Taehyung to decide between?

word count: 1.9k

warnings: cussing, implied sexual content, pregnancy scare (use protection and use protection well, folks!)

note: this ended up being a little longer than i thought lol sorry! hope you enjoy still. i also just whipped this up before going to bed so this is pretty raw - excuse any mistakes pls. love me still 🥺

"Fuck!" You yelled as you ran to the bathroom as a huge wave of nausea hit you yet once again this morning. You were abruptly woken up early in the morning due to the feeling, not getting much rest after the first time you hurled last night's dinner into the toilet bowl. Taehyung had just walked into your apartment, mouth slightly open as he furrowed his brows watching you run off to the bathroom.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He says, swinging the bathroom door open as you dry-heaved into the bowl, curse words trailing shortly after. He crouches to your level, rubbing your back and holding your hair out of the way.

"I don't know, I just woke up feeling--" He watched as you threw your head back into the toilet bowl, a little bit of the water you had taken down earlier coming back up. "Really shitty." You continue after you spit.

"Shit, did you eat anything bad yesterday?"

"I don't think so? Nothing seemed suspicious." You pointed at him weakly. "And you look perfectly dandy being that we ate at the same places." You rested your back against the wall, eyeing how god-like your boyfriend looked.

"I'm sorry, love." He pouted. "You okay to get up now? Let's get you in bed and I can run out to grab whatever you need me to grab." You sat there, pondering on your thoughts for a second. The food you ate last night didn't seem bad, but also you never know. However, you were starting to freak out mainly because of the countless, amazing, 'let me rearrange your guts' type of sex you've been having with your boyfriend. That thought always has to be taken into consideration.

"What's the date today?" Taehyung quickly whips out his phone to check the date on his lockscreen.

"The 20th. Why?" Your eyes widened. You were supposed to get your period 5 days ago. Albeit, you've always been on a weird, irregular schedule ever since you were younger. Getting on birth control somewhat helped regulate that, but lately it hadn't been wonky. You usually got it on the 15th. "Why, baby?" His eyes started to widen.

"I'm late, Tae. I should've gotten my period 5 days ago."

"Okay, let's not panic. We can't assume just yet, right?" He begins to slightly freak out, but he's doing his best to keep his emotions in check. He was worried as hell now, not only because you were hurting but because this?

Lord, please. If you get me out of this one, I won't slap Y/N's ass ever again.

Don't get him wrong, he really wanted to be a father. He had always dreamed of having a good sized family with the love of his life. But right at this moment? He wasn't ready. You weren't ready. You both were just trying to survive school and that was already work on its own.

"Right." You say, but you're fucking screaming internally. Jesus fucking christ?!

"Let's get you in bed. I'll grab you some gatorade and soup while you get some more rest." He says, helping you up. You loved his cologne and taking in his scent, but today you couldn't deal. You sat on the edge of your bed, immediately grabbing the trash can next to your night stand and puked a little bit more acid.

"God, I'm so tired. Let this be ooooover." You whined as Tae tucked you into your sheets and wiped your face clean with a warm, wet towel. He folded it in half, placing the towel onto your forehead to help regulate your temperature as much as possible.

"I'm so sorry, babygirl. I hate seeing you like this." He kisses you on the cheek. "Don't drink water just yet, it doesn't seem like you can keep it down. I'll come back right away, okay? Try to get some sleep."

"Can you grab a test?" He swallows the lump in his throat.

"Yeah, of course." He smiles toothlessly, watching as your eyes slowly droop and shut close, the exhaustion from all this effort hitting you out of nowhere. Tae was worried sick, and he honestly wished he could snap his fingers so that the things you need would just appear and he wouldn't have to leave you alone.

He gets to the closest convenience store that would have everything you needed in one place. He grabs you a few bottles of gatorade, making sure to grab you the blue Glacier Freeze bottles because he remembers you saying that's the only flavor you grew up drinking. He grabs a couple of ingredients to whip you up some chicken noodle soup later once you're able to tolerate the gatorade at the very least. He also grabs a few unnecessary things like snacks for you both [mainly him cause it's based off of his own cravings right now] and then makes his way over to the aisle that has the condoms and pregnancy tests.

Tests?

Multiple kinds?

How the fuck is he supposed to know? Does one differ by the other much? They all look like the same fucking stick. They all look like that game of pick up sticks.

His eyes go from one box to another, mouth slightly hanging from how overwhelmed he is right now. This one says 6 days sooner, but the other box has two sticks for the price of one? He's assuming that's a nice safety blanket to have an extra stick confirm your results. But there's also one box with two sticks AND the 6 days sooner message.

Then a box with 4 sticks?

"Hooooly mother of pearl, fuck it." He says, grabbing the one with 4 sticks and the 6 day message. That's the gold for him. It makes him feel a little better knowing he could look at all 4 sticks. Does Y/N even have enough pee for this? He's about to make his way out of the aisle when he passes the condoms and lube.

Heh, no lube cause I make my girl hella wet already.

But condoms? After today, he was highly thinking about it. But lord knows how much he'd hate to have to wrap it up like that. Condoms are for sure your friends, but that raw feeling when he's inside the girl he truly loves - Exquisite. Chef’s kiss. Absolutely irreplaceable.

He eyes the boxes one more time before a little elderly lady walks past him in the aisle. She looks at him, smiles, then looks at the condoms before looking down at his basket with the pregnancy tests.

"A little late for that, don't you think?" She chuckles as she jokes to herself.

Well, damn? Like that??

He purses his lips into a fine line before rushing out of the aisle and making his way to the self-checkout lanes. He quickly checks out, not realizing he had gotten a little distracted from his own thoughts.

Getting back to your place, he notices you're still sound asleep. He takes your trash out and dumps it down the trash slot outside of your door. He cleans up a little in your living room, folding your blankets neatly and lighting your favorite candle. He washes the dishes left in your sink as he waits for the stove to heat up. He starts to whip up that chicken noodle soup for you so it would be ready.

Once he's done, he grabs a bottle of gatorade and sits on the edge of your bed, gently brushing the hair out of your face.

"Here baby, drink some." He says, handing you the opened bottle. You stir in your position, sitting upright in order to get some of the gatorade into your system. You hope you can keep it down and make some progress. "I got you the tests." He shows you the box with 4 sticks.

"Damn, babe. Four sticks?" He clicks his teeth and points a finger gun at you.

"The more the merrier, amirite?"

"I should probably do those now." You take your time standing up with Tae right beside you, making sure you don't get dizzy or lose your balance. In the bathroom, you stand and stare at the box for a little, reality kind of settling in for you. This is actually happening right now.

"Hey, whatever happens, I'll be right here, okay? We'll figure this out." He reassures you, giving a kiss on the side of your head as you silently nod and open the box. You sit on the toilet, Tae helping you swap out the sticks until you no longer need to pee. He sets the aside the sink carefully, putting on a timer on his phone.

"Fuck. I can't just sit here and watch." You dig your head into your hands.

"I almost bought condoms." He chuckles, trying to brighten the mood.

"Taehyung and condoms? No way. My boyfriend would never."

"I would if absolutely necessary - and by absolutely necessary, I mean like today o’clock." You shoot him a look, the statement only heightening your anxiety. "But! I didn't, okay! We'll be fine, we can't assume."

"You're pulling out next time."

"I mean if you let me bust my load on your—"

"No, you're gonna cum in your own fucking hands after today." You furrow your eyebrows angrily.

"Baby." He laughs. "That's no fun."

"Taehyung, we're sitting in my bathroom waiting for four pregnancy tests to show their results!" His timer goes off and suddenly you feel sick again.

"I guess we'll find out if I'm daddy in a few minutes." You smack him on the chest.

"Don't ever."

"Please, ladies first." He nods towards the sticks.

"You!"

"Why me?"

"It's your sperm that did this!"

"Woah m'lady, it takes two to tango!"

"Pick up the goddamn sticks." He clicks his teeth.

"Fuck, fine!" He picks up the stick. "Oh my god, baby." He says, gasping with his mouth agape.

That's it. You're gonna fucking cry. Everything is turning into white noise. Yes, you wanted a family but all of this shit was happening so quickly you couldn't even—

"You're not pregnant." He says in the same dramatic tone.

"I'm going to fight you!" You shriek at him, grabbing the sticks to double check. You see one single line across all four sticks, causing you to breathe a sigh of relief. You start to cry a little, causing Taehyung to laugh and pull you into a hug. He knows how stressed you just were and he knows this moment alone must have taken a lot out of you. He can't help but wanna cuddle you in his arms for the rest of the day.

"Oh never again, love."

"Don’t get me wrong. I wanna have your babies but I’m not ready to right now."

"I fully agree, 100%."

"I'll call my doctor tomorrow just to make sure we're in the clear." He nods.

"Feeling a little better?" You shake your head.

"Honestly, I still feel like shit."

"Go sit in bed, I'll bring the bowl of soup to you." He kisses you on the nose. "I love you."

"I love you, too." And that's what you do - sit in bed while your man brings your bowl of soup that he delicately prepared over so you can get something in your system. Luckily, you were able to hold both that and the gatorade down and that's what your diet consisted of for the rest of the day.

The good ol' doc says it's nothing but a dumb stomach bug and that your birth control is just playing mind games with you, showing you the results to confirm the negative pregnancy test. He demands you take it easy and get lots of love in the mean time until you fully recover from whatever thing you ate that day that wasn't prepared carefully.

You live and you learn. Life is all about that, right?

"Never again, Tae."

"We don't mean that." He whines as he chases after you walking towards the car.

"You try being in my shoes during a pregnancy scare then!"

#bts #bts fanfiction #taehyung fanfiction #taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #kth x reader #writing #perfectly wrong #perfectly wrong drabbles #kth series #taehyung fluff #bts fluff #kim taehyung fluff #kth fluff

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hangekitty · 3 years

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Birthday Special Headcanons

Birthday headcanons for @velvetheichou as it’s her birthday today!! So some of these may seem a little specific, but I did write it as an x reader for everyone else to enjoy!

Summary: it’s your birthday, your BF is Miche and you live with Levi and Erwin.

Genre: mostly fluff, mentions of smut

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, a couple NSFW headcanons, 18+

Universe: modern universe

A/N: this is only a short little thing for my IRL friend, I wrote this whilst getting ready for work so is it rushed? Yes I’m sorry, was this fun? Absolutely. Happy Birthday Amie 🌸🌙👑

Setting the scene: you live with Miche (your BF), Levi and Erwin (who are a couple) in a shared house. It’s your birthday and you have some surprises ahead of you...

- let’s start off with the main G, your doting BF waking you up with breakfast in bed. He would lay out a large spread filled with all your favourite things.

- Let’s face it, birthday sex would be a thing, but not till later because Levi and Erwin are waiting downstairs for you.

- Doesn’t stop Miche from being a little filthy with you (if you wanted it 👀)

- if the two of you did do the nasty, he would most certainly eat you out, 100% like it’s basically canon than he is great at head; you can’t convince me otherwise.

- Okay but like Miche would want to give you your birthday presents privately, guarantee he has bought you a dress or clothes that you’ve been wanting (and unable to afford). Miche would usually treat you to clothes any time of the year, but he’d make sure to get something extra special for your birthday.

- Miche has also bought you some pamper stuff (particularly Lush because Nanaba works there and gets discounts; means more products amirite)

- So after you shower and do your makeup, you put on your birthday gift (let’s say a dress), you go downstairs and Miche, Levi and Erwin are waiting for you, ready with party poppers. Levi and Erwin pop theirs, but Miche is way too in awe that he misses his queue

- Also can we appreciate the image of Levi popping a party popper, like he isn’t enthusiastic (he feels it, but he doesn’t show it)

- Levi would get you something that is specific to you, if you have a certain interest (or hyperfixation if we’re being honest) he would get you merch. Autographed picture from Lady Gaga? Band t-shirt? He’s got you that.

- Erwin, probably needed help the most from Levi and Miche to know what to get you. He would originally buy you something generic like a book, or a box set from a TV show you’ve never seen. So after talking the others, Erwin would go out his way to buy concert tickets. Let’s say,,,Download? Miche would get his own ticket ofc

- So basicaly the boys arrange a birthday party for you, during the day you get up to whatever you want; shopping trip? Miche will treat you to whatever you want. Trip to the cinema? You pick the movie, and as much as you insist on paying for your own ticket and/or food Miche will pay. This mans goal is to give you the best day.

- In the late afternoon, you go to your favourite restaurant, ordering whatever you like. Depending on how expensive the day is, you will probably pay towards the bill (mainly out of guilt, you wouldn’t want to make Miche broke)

- It’s romantic, candlelit and seated by the window; you watch the sunset as you eat the best damn thing in your life.

- At the party; so all of your friends are invited, even friends of Erwin and Levi; let’s just say it’s crowded to say the least.

- The playlist fucking slaps, not only is a mixture of your playlist and everyone’s requests, you have the special addition of anime music to which Erwin is like huh?? And Levi is like 🙄 but it’s your party and you can totally play Judgement from the DMCB soundtrack if you want to

- Miche brings out a cake with candles (as many candles as your age) for you to blow out, all of the party guests sing to you and cheer as you blow out the candles.

- Hange probably already started drinking, so you can hear them louder than anyone else.

- The cake is delicious of course, but the fact that there are so many paper plates around, it puts Levi on edge and he will most definitely be doing the tidying up.

- Alcohol, lots of it

- Of course as soon as a bit of Alcohol reaches Miche’s lips he is outside smoking a cig

- Nile is out there with him, but he’s a bit of a chain smoker anyway

- The look on Levi’s face when Erwin tries a cig, he definitely struggles and coughs every time

- “No, Erwin you cannot request Piano Man by Billy Joel”

- “No, Erwin, Country Roads it off limits too - at least until we get more pissed then MAYBE”

- Levi doesn’t get drunk, he is the baby sitter after all, but will probs have a glass of wine to last him the night

- Erwin doesn’t get too drunk either, but he is definitely the one with the champagne

- Miche gets tipsy but not,,,terrible lmao

- Hange however, whew goes fucking feral. If they aren’t dancing and doing slut drops, they are hornee and will attempt to drunkenly seduce Moblit who is FAR TOO DRUNK for any of that.

- There will definitely be some party games like the ring of fire, drunk charades and an ATTEMPT at musical chairs, but at this point, most guests are too far gone for that; again, putting Levi on edge and making sure no one hurts themselves.

- The night ends with Hange and Moblit staying in the guest bedroom because they drank the most, Levi and Erwin going to bed mostly sober so Levi can perform his nightly routine; I can totally see him having a whole pamper sesh before he gets into bed.

- You go to bed, the room slightly spinning and you can feel your whole body in waves; this hangover is going to be too much. Luckily superhero Miche is there with the water and some toast/bread. “Eat this before you sleep, you’ll be grateful in the morning”

- The last few moments of consciousness is spent cuddling into Miche’s chest. “Happy Birthday my sweet”

#miche zacharias #mike zacharias #aot hange #attack on titan #erwin smith #Levi Ackerman #aot headcanons #personal

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commander-shad · 2 years

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I said in a blog earlier today that I would post my thoughts on the game after I was done, but screw it, I'm going for it now lmao. I just need to talk about it ok-

Don't go below the cut if you haven't played up until the quest Singularity (haven't done it myself yet)!

Long post ahead!

Let's start from the beginning eh?

1. The game starts by getting you right in the feels, huh? "And for a moment, I feel whole" Give this girl a found family pls, she needs it

2. Didn't expect Varl to show up! And the beard suits him, no matter what Aloy says lmao (why he'd have to get rid of it?)

3. Burrowers are so cute, a bit of a pain in the ass, but cute

4. Damn, Aloy has to write a guide on how to destroy someone's entire worldview in less than five minutes, because like, she didn't even hesitate (it becomes a little ironic if you told CYAN to go gently on the Banuk in the Frozen Wilds lol)

5. Well, if the Far Zenith stuff isn't a huge Chekhov's Gun, then I don't know what is

6. They actually let Aloy say "sh*t"! It took me aback a little honestly, out of all things in the game, this is what surprised me, huh

7. The Slitherfang was so cool tho

8. For that one scene- I legit just went 'Travis, you f*cking nerd!' Really felt Aloy's pain here

9. Really didn't expect the return to Meridian! A pleasant surprise for sure

10. That statue tho

11. Sylens, you son of a-

12. Avad still thirsts over Aloy I see. I picked the brain option, but after seeing the fist one giffed, I kinda wish I picked that one instead, but what's done done lol, Imma go for that next playthrough

13. It was nice to see some returning characterS for a while before we embarked to the West

14. Wow, Aloy really bailed on Varl like that eh? Considering that she's done it before (as shown in the comics and as mentioned in-game), I wasn't really surprised. Tbh tho, I'm not one to judge, I'd do the same, but just because I'm not a people's person

15. The song that kicked in the credits, totally didn't see it coming, but yeah, the moment I was done with that playthrough I immediately looked for it in Youtube, and now I can't stop playing it, send help-

16. Ok, but like, can we talk about the soundtrack? The reworked version of Aloy's Theme is amazing, and something I noticed about it- the HFW version of the theme sounds considerably more sci-fi-ish than the HZD version, you could say that it very subtly foreshadows how much more sci-fi-ish this game is in comparison to the first game. Dunno if it was intentional, but I kinda like that detail

17. And thus we are in the Daunt! Vuadis- excuse me- STUDIOUS Vuadis- he's funny. Funny as in 'I kinda hate him right now' lmao

18. Chainscrape is a pretty nice looking place-

19. Petra!

20. Oh look, that in-game board game I won't be playing because I suck at strategy

21. And now we get to see Erend. I kinda liked this interaction they had to be honest. Aloy had to get called out on her sh*t at some point, amirite? Erend was very obviously hurt by the way she suddenly disappeared, and in a way, no matter which option you pick, she still seems to be a bit of an a**hole, because no matter the reason she left, she still left without saying a word, and that's just not cool (says my hypocritical ass who previously admitted that I would ditch people with no remorse), so yeah Erend, you deserve to be salty about this

22. And now we go to Barren Light- Aloy still is a force to be reckoned with- the way Varl arrives just in time and Erend who is already there just going "oh you know, Aloy challenges the authorities and tempts fate, what else is new", so casually lmao

23. Shouldn't have been surprising to see Erend stand up for Aloy against the commander. While it's obvious that he still isn't happy about the stuff she's pulling, it seems that he still is determined to be there for her now, no matter what, like- he's trying, instead of holding all that stuff against Aloy, he's trying to be there for her instead when she wasn't and that shows a lot of maturity on his part

24. Regalla's entrance was pretty badass. The way the rest of the encounter went wasn't so much- it was very reminiscent of the Proving actually, except Aloy wasn't the target this time

25. My man Kotallo just stopped a Bristleback without even using a weapon, he's just rammed into it to stop it in it's tracks, how badass is that?

26. Ok, but Aloy just stood there while Grudda beat Varl's ass, she didn't even try to stop him, what gives-

27. Finally, the Shieldwing! I'm addicted to using it now-

28. And now, we're heading to the Horus. Totally not ominous and definitely Sylens' taste in lairs

29. Sylens is as insufferable as usual

30. Is it weird I feel a little bad for HADES? Whatever Sylens did to it, left it a shell of it's former self- anyways, it still was so satisfying to see it gone for good this time

31. That holo of Travis and Elisabet, in Latopolis though- "How do you love the world so much, but don't seem to love a single person it it?" I-I feel attacked-

31. That maze was a pain to figure out, I had to use a guide tbh-

32. This f*cking quest man- this damn quest- ok, so- Sylens just went "these people outside want you, but worry, they won't do anything to you, now open the hatch will you?", Aloy goes "lol no" and destroys her current Focus (considering that she hands out Focuses everywhere like they are nothing, I was left wondering just how many does she have on her person?) and uses a new one. So, the hatch to the facility was supposed to be open to Aloy only- AND THEN- EXCUSE ME, WTF

33. Oh what the f*ck- there's another- you know I was thinking about the possibility of another Elisabet clone, but definitely not like this- and like- who tf are these people? Why do they want me dead? And what the heck are these new machines?

34. F*ck Erik btw

35. The fact that we aren't even close to the middle yet and we already had our near death experience of the game tho- (they just had to name the quest "Death's Door" lmfao). That escape must have left Aloy pretty f*cked up if she was basically delirious when she got washed up on the shore. Speaking of that-

36. OUCH. WHY.

37. "I'm fine", Aloy says, nearly falling over for the like, fifth time in the last three minutes

38. I think it's cute the Utaru land-gods (to us known as Plowmowers) are named after the musical notes

39. It seems that VarlxZo has sailed! Good for them!

40. Ok, but I wanna talk about this scene for a bit- my reading of it is that- well you can very clearly see that Aloy is very determined to take off as soon as possible, even if she can barely stand. "I will crawl there if I have to" in her words. And I feel like she would have actually gone through with I believe, she has zero chill. And then she sees what Varl and Zo have going. I think she was a little guilty. Like, he seemed to be happy with Zo, and because of her stubbornness he would miss out on going with her to Plainsong. So Aloy giving in to their request to rest up and heal, is giving up on this small bit of selfishness she got going for Varl's sake. Well, she definitely benefited from it in the end though, that's good.

41. On an unrelated note, I got two of them actually, I'm kinda glad they are still keeping Aloy single (not me here projecting my aroace ass). Like, it's not just that, I just think that Aloy isn't really ready for something as deep as a romance, not yet at least. I mean, think about it: she grew up as an outcast, with only one person to talk to, so let's be honest here, she really doesn't know her way around people, you can tell from how socially awkward (socially awkward as in the way she behaves around people, talking down figures of authority for example) and blunt she can be. And if you think about it, Aloy never really had a friend growing up (just how sad is that?), I really wouldn't be surprised if she didn't really know what being actually friends with someone means, my guess is that she has a very surface level understanding of friendship, and that's why she has so much trouble properly opening up to her friends here in HFW. TLDR; Pls, give this girl a found family/friends before we go into any romances first if they do go into that. Besiiiiiides, Erend and Varl seem to be acting more like older brother figures to me more than anything

42. Ok uh, so I have several minor unrelated notes to make regarding a specific line of side quests that from what I've seen has disappointed several people, but it's not what you might expect. Anyway, here it goes. Just putting it out there; I have no problem at all with Talanah having a thing for Amadis, and I say that as someone whose first option for romance for Aloy if it happens is Talanah (if you don't let me keep my girl ace, at least let me romance a girl, thank you very much), I mean, bi Talanah anyone? Besides, Talanah has two hands 😏Second, I'm gonna put it out here, I wasn't that big on Talanah in the first place, she's an ok character for me at best, the one that is a little over hyped, but still pretty ok. Thirdly, call it a hot take if you want (as if the previous ones weren't hot enough takes already lmao), it very much makes sense that Talanah wouldn't become a member of the main character crew and that she remains in the realm of side quests. Let me explain. Talanah is a pretty missable character as in, not everyone is going to invest hundreds of hours to replay a game, not everyone is going to do all side quests (let's be honest here, as great as HZD is, it's side quests weren't and the most engaging ones (now that I think of it, that might be the reason I'm not that big on Talanah)), so a combination of both can lead to a character simply not getting enough attention as to become main character grade. So I think that we should be glad we even got a Talanah side quest in the first place, because she could easily be a character who didn't get enough attention as to get a place in the sequel. I mean, imagine if a much more obscure character from the first game suddenly became a main, pretty jarring, right? Anyways- Of course you all have a right to be disappointed in how her story went, while I didn't see much in Talanah's character, you guys did, so I guess you all know something more than I do ig. I personally wasn't disappointed, because I didn't really hold any expectations for her, I was perfectly happy with what the writers had in mind for Talanah. You guys who were let down didn't, and I very much respect that. Sorry for this rant, I just kinda really wanted to talk about this, you know- With that aside, I'm gonna say this, both Talanah and Amadis deserved better. Amadis deserved better than to live with the knowledge that this person he cared so much for simply doesn't really seem to give a f*ck about him anymore and Talanah deserved better than now having to deal with that this person she came to really like might never actually come to reciprocate her feelings just because he might never really get over the aforementioned events. So my guess is that there might be still hope for TalanahxAloy shippers, not the Talanah being invited to the base thing, but a chance of the two getting together in the future, who knows (optimism at it's finest ey?) Ok, done with this rant I think

43. Alright, where was I? Right, at Stone's Echo. After here we set out to find Plainsong. Man, the Utaru's architecture is kinda insane, they really just built their home on top of the satellite dishes, I'd love to live there (if not for the red blight thing)

44. Ok so uh, so much has happened in recent playthroughs that my memory is a little fuzzy when it comes to this part of the game, but if I remember correctly we went to Repair Bay TAU to reach Minerva, right? Or they needed something from the Core to track down MINERVA's exact location? I think? Can't remember, someone pls correct me on this- All I remember is fighting the Grimhorn and then Aloy was so close to pulling an Ourea while kicking HEPHAESTUS out from TAU that she just gets up, turns to the others and basically goes thumbs up looking like she's this close to falling apart lmao

45. Poor MINERVA tho, must have been scared, but at least we managed to get GAIA up and working! Yay! Mother Nature as an AI is back!

46. Ok but like- Horizon having a base of operations in the game was something I never knew I needed. It's perfect and I just love how it becomes more and more like home with each passing mission, I just-

47. And so, the hunt for the subfunctions begins. I went from highest level to lowest first so I went with the order of DEMETER, POSEIDON and AETHER. How it went? Well-

48. DEMETER wasn't that hard tho I got lost in the tunnels a bit- Alva is baby

49. Also f*ck Dreadwings, glad I never saw them again after that

50. We finally get to see Beta now! I like her, poor thing, she didn't deserve the Zeniths' treatment of her. Also Aloy, I know you're both traumatized and tired, but please stop being mean to her

51. As I was approached the ruins of Las Vegas to find POSEIDON, I was like "there is water somewhere under that desert, right?" There was. I just wasn't expecting so much of it lmao

52. For me Morlund and crew were a more bearable version of Gildun, I enjoyed hanging out of them, just realized that I never came back for them D:

53. And at last, AETHER. More complicated than I thought it'd be, because I literally had to fell half a mountain to get an event going. Aloy being a little gremlin in this one was so fun, and Kotallo was just so done with her sh*t lmao

54. Speaking of Kotallo, we stan him in this house

55. Why did it have to be a Slitherfang-

56. We're going to San Francisco baby wooo! The things we saw there tho- *shudder*, I felt a very distinct sense of dread walking through the bunker

57. It turns out Ted was further gone than I thought. Not only he has the biggest ego in history, but he also just rid of some of the people who lived in Thebes with him? I'm suddenly worried about what happened to the people in Elysium

58. Is it bad I wanted to mash Ceo's head all throughout the tour of Ted's limbo?

59. I really don't want to know what exactly was the thing I saw in that holo in the office, because whatever it was, it really didn't end well for him (he deserved it tho, f*ck Ted Faro)

60. So yeah, about point 58? Ted Faro's massive head crushed Ceo's... well... Everything. And the other guy just fell into the lava. Big yikes for both of them

61. We are now good with Beta it seems, you could say that we are close now, I like that. Sisters!

62. Aloy and the squad ready to force HEPHAESTUS into the found family against its will 😎

63. When the Zeniths bust through the roof after capturing HEPHAESTUS: This is why we can't have nice things!

64. I'm in- genuine shock guys. He's dead. Varl's f*cking dead. And Beta and GAIA are gone too. Aloy swore to protect her and she failed. Aloy must feel like she failed both of them and that's as rock bottom as it can get, just great

65. Tilda. She's sus. I don't trust her.

66. Not gonna lie guys, I almost cried at the talk Aloy had with Zo about Varl. And she is with his child too?!

67. Damn, someone's gonna have to tell Sona now. I feel bad for her you know. First she lost Vala, and now her other child too, that's just so f*cking sad

68. Another reason why Varl dying was so impactful was that he was there since the beginning, you know? He followed Aloy into the forbidden ruins of the Old Ones back in the Sacred Lands. He followed her to Meridian to fight a threat he admits that he can't really understand, but he did that anyways. He tracked Aloy all the way out to the middle of nowhere to help her with her mission of finding GAIA. He found Aloy in the aftermath of Latopolis. He was so willing to come and help Aloy investigate the mysterious signal. He just trusted and cared for her and the rest of his friends so f*cking much, and he ultimately paid for it

69. "Can't I just mourn for the loss of my friend?" It was so heartbreaking to hear Erend say that-

70. While still dealing with the loss of a great friend, the team must still move on and find a way to stop the Zeniths for good. Using a small gift Beta gave us back in GEMINI and the knowledge Tilda provided us with, it's time to put an end to Regalla's rebellion...

71. WE CAN FLY, HOLY SH*T- (damn that escalated quickly)

72. In the most badass way you can imagine, Aloy swooped with her trusty Sunwing down in the battlefield between Hekarro's army and Regalla's and destroyed her machines

73. And then we finally face Regalla head on. Her boss fight was kinda like HFW's equivalent to Helis', but meaner, b*tchier and harder, it took forever lmao

74. With Sylens' uncovered plan foiled, Aloy gets to meet him again and makes a deal with him...

75. To close, Tilda and Sylens seem to be a match made in hell, nothing can possibly go wrong with these two in the same room s/

•••

Tomorrow I'm finishing my first playthrough of the game (my gaming method is first playthrough being a speedrun of the story and the second and following playthroughs being a more loose and slow play of it with the side quests and activities and everything), so expect another blog on my thoughts on the finale too, though probably it won't be as long as this post since I wrote my thoughts on like 85% of the story lmao

I probably missed lots of stuff in this writedown but if I add them I can't be bothered to edit the numbers so I leave it be.

As of now it was great experience, tho I'm a little bummed out that the first gameplay trailer we got of HFW wasn't even in the story! Is it even in the game at all? Guerilla, pls explain-

I will gladly hear people's opinions, either on the game or on my own takes on it, I just really need to talk about the game.

What were your thoughts on it?

#horizon forbidden west spoilers #hfw spoilers #hfwthoughts #horizon forbidden west #hfw

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shirtlesssammy · 3 years

Text

1x18: Something Wicked

Then:

After this they toss the ball around like old times

Now:

Fitchburg, WI

When I first started watching this show, I found great delight in all the locations the Winchesters visited that I recognized. I also laughed at how much these locations didn’t look a thing like the real place.

We begin this episode with a little girl saying her prayers. Her dad tucks her in, and she asks about her mom. She’ll be staying the night at the hospital with the little girl’s sister.

Later that night, the little girl sits up listening to the wind beat tree branches against her window. One of the branches turns into a hand that opens her window. A shadowy figure creeps across the room ---and a Deatheater scares the girl into a comatose state.

Sam and Dean are on the hunt since John is TOO LAME AND PETTY AND MEAN to go himself. Sam swears there’s nothing on their radar, but Dean insists they check it out.

(This episode gets pretty dark when it comes to John and Dean so we’ll try to add lots of pretty pictures to help with the pain.)

For Side Profile Science:

The boys pull into the nice rural town of Fitchberg Fitchburg, WI, not the more urban suburb of the state’s capital.

They ask around about anything weird in town ---just the freemasons being sneaky again. (Flashes of Hot Fuzz). Sam then notices that there are no kids at the school playground at 4 in the afternoon.

Dean heads over to talk to Hannah a mother who tells him about kids falling sick in town, and parents getting anxious over it.

Dean and Bikini Inspector/CDC doctor Sam head to the hospital.

For Bikini Inspector Science:

They head to the pediatric ward. Dean notices an old woman who decorates her room with an upside down cross (way to play with our ingrained bias of ageism and sexism show!)

Dr. Hydeker explains that 6 children are sick with pneumonia so far, and their bodies are just shutting down. They won’t respond to antibiotics or anything.

This disease works its way through families, one child after another. None of the children are conscious. They interview the father of Mary and Bethany. He mentions that they think they caught this from an open window.

Sam and Dean wonder what opened the window and go to the house to check it out. Initially, they find nothing, but then Sam notices one WACKY handprint. “What the hell leaves a handprint like that?” Sam wonders.

*RAGE Flashback Alert*

John’s heading out on a hunt and he’s giving young Dean instructions. Then he scolds his 9 year old son to pay attention.

Dean recites John’s fatherly advice: “Shoot first, ask questions later.” before John takes off. I love how he bullies Dean into being an adult here, and doesn’t even acknowledge Sam at all when he leaves.

Present day, Dean tells Sam that he knows why they’re in Fitchburg. John’s faced this monster in the past, and he wants them to finish it.

When they pull into their motel for the night, Sam asks what a shtriga is. Dean thinks it’s a witch of some sort. John faced one over 15 years ago in Wisconsin, and now it appears to be back.

Dean heads inside to get a room for them. He’s greeted with a surly 10 year old hotel proprietor. Well, the son of the real hotel manager. Dean can’t decide to be upset with the kid questioning his sexuality or soft for the kid who clearly has a great responsibility taking care of his younger brother. The mom helps Dean get a room.

While Dean gets checked in, he has another flashback.

*Scabetti-os Flashback Alert*

Dean’s feeding Sam his dinner. Sam’s sick of the same old food. He wants Lucky Charms, but there’s only one bowl left, and Dean needs to eat too. Sam throws on his baby-puppy dog look and Dean throws away the spaghetti-os and let’s Sam eat the cereal. It BREAKS me that this child has to think rationally and maturely to feed his younger brother, but he’s JUST A KID so he throws the pasta away in anger instead of eating it himself.

For One Day Sam Won’t Touch Sugar Cereal Science:

Sam does his research and discovers more about shtriga. They feed off of spiritus vitae --or breath of life. Sam says they prefer children and they’re invulnerable to everything. Dean corrects him and says that they’re vulnerable when they feed.

Sam continues that this monster takes the form of a human when it’s not feeding --generally an old woman. Dean remembers the woman from the hospital.

They head to the hospital, ready to do their worst to the old lady.

A nice jump scare that gets me every time reveals that she’s just an old woman. She demands they fix the crucifix that fell on her wall --so it wasn’t supposed to be upside down. WINCHESTER BAD.

At the motel, Michael and his little brother sleep peacefully. A shadowy hand creeps across the window and opens it.

The next morning the Winchesters return to the motel. Dean notices Michael moping outside the office. It turns out that Asher is very sick and just got shipped to the hospital. The window was unlatched, and Michael blames himself for not protecting his younger brother. Dean “Guilt Spiral” Winchester tries to help him avoid lifelong trauma by telling him that it isn’t his fault. Excuse me while I WEEP A SINGLE TEAR!

Dean gives the mom a lift to the hospital while Michael stays behind. Sam heads to the library, where I am forced ONCE AGAIN to include a picture of a Winchester rocking a microfiche machine.

For (This Joke Will Never Die) Library Science:

Sam fills Dean in on a string of child deaths tied to a mysterious pneumonia-like illness. The Fitchburg body count is just getting started. Sam finds a newspaper photo from the 1890’s featuring the very same doctor who is caring for the pediatric patients today. Dean, still at the hospital, puts on his murder face. Doctor Hydecker is IN THAT VERY ROOM looking over Asher. He asks Dean what the CDC has uncovered so far. Um. Nothing? Except a big ol’ liar and murderer.

Back at the motel, Dean fills Sam in on the hospital encounter with Hydecker. He didn’t attack the doctor at the hospital because a shtriga is only vulnerable when feeding. Also - more importantly - he didn’t have his guns on him. Dean plans to catch the shtriga in action that very night...when it returns to feed on Michael.

Sam’s horrified by this plan, but Dean insists that the end justifies the means. After all, their dad sent Dean to Fitchburg to clean up the hunt he botched...WHEN HE WAS JUST A KID.

Dean explains: years ago John Winchester left Sam and Dean alone in a motel room in Fort Douglas, Wisconsin. A few nights into John’s absence, Dean leaves the room (with Sam asleep) so he can play arcade games at a local tavern. When he returns, there’s a terrifying spectre hovering over Sam.

Dean calmly picks up the shotgun(!!!) his father left him, only for John to shout Dean out of the way. John blasts the heck out of the shtriga and then moves to cradle Sam (who is fine, don’t worry bbys).

Dean explains that he just left for a little bit! (A few hours and not, like, THREE DAYS, AMIRITE?) John’s pissed at Dean for failing to parent Sam properly. After the failed attack, John dropped Sam and Dean off at Pastor Jim’s. “Dad never spoke about it again. I didn’t ask. But he, uh… He looked at me different. You know? Which was worse. Not that I blame him. He gave me an order and I didn’t listen.”

Sam tries to convince Dean that he was just a kid and not responsible, but Dean “Guilt is Ninety Percent of My Personality” Winchester refuses to listen. John sent them this hunt as a personal message to DEAN. (Pardon me while I step outside and kick the shit out of John Winchester.) ANYWHO, Dean’s going to kill the shtriga any way he can...so young Michael gets to be bait. They head over to talk to Michael.

Dean and Sam try to convince Michael to let them watch over him while he sleeps????? Lordy lord lord. Dean tries to convince Michael that monsters are real. Only, Michael doesn’t need much convincing. He saw the monster when it attacked his brother. (Side note: I give the person filming Jensen in this episode a Major Award.)

Michael decides to sign on for the hunt on the chance that it might save Asher. Big brother club FTW! The Winchesters set up a nanny cam, instruct Michael to hide under the bed when they burst into the room, and get ready for the shtriga’s arrival. Dean tells Michael that he doesn’t have to be bait and he “won’t be mad” if he wants out after all. (I stroke Dean’s cheek and whisper, “Still beautiful, still Dean Winchester.”) But Michael’s all in if it means helping his brother.

The shtriga arrives for its murder appointment and the window slides open. The shtriga leans down in classic dementor mode to feed on a completely wide awake Michael, when the Winchesters burst in and start firing. The shtriga goes down like a trick target at a carnival, but it isn’t dead yet! (Only mostly dead.) It attacks Dean and then, symbolically, attacks Sam. While it begins to feed on Sam, Dean fires off one perfect shot into the shtriga’s forehead, killing it. “You okay, little brother?” Dean asks, also SYMBOLICALLY.

Tiny, life-force soul bits float out of the dying shtriga’s mouth, on their way to reinhabit all the sick children in town.

The next day, the Winchesters prepare to leave town. All the kids are on the road to recovery, and Michael gets ready to head off to visit his brother. (YAY!)

Sam takes a turn for the morose and mourns the fact that Michael knows monsters are real now. Dean “I’m Your Parent” Winchester tells Sam that he wishes he could have ensured that innocence for Sam as well. They drive off in a swirling cloud of Winchester angst.

Live, from Fitchquote, Wisconsin:

I'm the oldest, which means I'm always right

I was sleeping with my peepers open

You were just a kid

Sometimes nightmares are real

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #dean winchester #sam winchester #spn 1x18 #something wicked #supernatural season 1

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thebibliomancer · 3 years

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #239: Late Night of the Super-Stars!

January, 1984

1984! Can’t wait to make a bunch of Orwell jokes that are poorly thought out and land poorly!

But I guess it’ll have to wait since we’re on Late Night with David Letterman in this issue.

This sure is an interesting turn of events. Although the team we see on the cover doesn’t seem to be the actually active roster. They’re over in the corner box turned away - either from shame or because they’re off doing their own thing.

Because its Assistant Editors’ Month!

A fun-sounding non-event. Although, looking it up, very few books that were considered part of the event actually did anything with it beyond a slightly goofy issue box on the cover.

So we’re going to see some Avengers go on a talk show today.

Superheroes as celebrities! What a novel idea.

Anyway, I learned an interesting detail about the cover that would have totally missed me. The checkerboard strip at the top was a hallmark of DC comics around this time. And the round MC logo in the top right is an obvious spoof of the DC logo from this time.

It’s not much more than a goof for this book but the Captain America book released for Assistant Editors’ Month also had the checkerboard and logo and was a style parody of DC comics.

Last times: Vision went into a robo-coma from walking into an invisible dome created by Annihilus and only recently recovered the ability to talk. New Avenger Starfox hooked Vision up to ISAAC the Titan computer and overclocked Vision’s robot brain so now he can project himself as a hologram and has an even faster computer brain. At the end of Avengers #238, the Avengers got a call from Tigra about some nonsense going on in San Francisco involving Spider-Woman.

Meanwhile, Hawkeye got a whole miniseries all to himself where he met Mockingbird, lost his job at Cross Technological, his girlfriend revealed that she was paid to date him and also hated him, he teamed up with Mockingbird to uncover an evil scheme by Crossfire to kill all superheroes, Hawkeye lost his hearing by putting an ultrasonic arrowhead in his mouth but foiled the scheme plot, and married Mockingbird. He’s had a very busy week or so!

This time: Hawkeye comes back to the Avengers Mansion to show off his cool new wife.

Hawkeye: “Hey, everybody -- your wanderin’ boy Hawkeye has come home... And you’ll never guess what I’ve gone and done!”

I can just imagine Mockingbird replying “Me” with the biggest shit-eating grin. She feels the sort to do that.

When Hawkeye and Mockingbird arrive there’s no one to greet them except the floating disembodied hologram head of the Wizard of Vizh.

Hawkeye has also made the decision, for some reason, to not wear the hearing aid that Mockingbird got him so he can’t hear what Vision is saying when he compliments his new costume.

Mockingbird introduces herself for Hawkeye and Vision tells the two to join him in the medical labs so they can catch up.

When they arrive, Vision raises his volume so Hawkeye can hear and recaps everything that’s happened to lead up to him becoming a robot in a tube who can hologram around.

Vision: “[Starfox] set up a direct link between ISAAC, the world-computer of Titan, to better diagnose my condition. But, instead, my brain became overloaded with ISAAC’s energy-information matrix --!”

Hawkeye: “And you became several with the universe, right?”

Vision: “‘Several with the’ --? Oh -- hah-ha! Very witty!”

Overclocking his brain seems to have done wonders for Vision’s sense of humor.

He even finds Hawkeye funny now.

Vision also explains where the dickens everyone else is (because Hawkeye asks him where the dickens they are. Its so weird for Hawkeye to say dickens).

Jarvis was given the day off to visit his mother, Captain America and Thor are both busy with nonsense in their own books, and the rest of the Avengers are off to San Francisco because of that call from Tigra.

Hawkeye offers to fly out and give them a hand, which Vision declines since they’ll call if they need help.

Instead he asks Hawkeye how he met Mockingbird and Hawkeye recaps the miniseries in only five panels.

He’s better at this than I am...

Hawkeye: “Anyway, Mockingbird and I had made a pretty good team -- so when it was all over, we ran off and got married!”

Mockingbird: “What can I say? The big lug needed somebody to keep him out of trouble!”

That’s the task of a lifetime, Bobbi. But good for you two! Cute couple is what I say.

Vision: “Marvelous! I hope you two will be as happy together as Wanda and I have been!"

Vision and Scarlet Witch probably are the healthiest superhero marriage of this time.

Vision asks if Hawkeye and Mockingbird intend to stay in the mansion, which they do. But it’s cool because Mockingbird has security clearance from working with SHIELD so they won’t need to bother Mr. Sikorsky and agitate his hatred of living in the superhero genre.

After Hawkeye takes Mockingbird off on a tour of the mansion, Vision receives a call from his brain brother, Wonder Man.

Who, very reluctantly, is coming to the Avengers with hat in hand. So to speak.

Wonder Man: “Okay. Here’s the situation -- my acting career hasn’t been going anywhere lately! So my agent, without my approval -- used the fact that I’m a reserve Avenger to get me a booking on David Letterman’s show, and now, they want me to bring other Avengers along with me! My agent really put me in a tight spot on this one. I hate to impose, but -- !”

Vision: “It’s no imposition at all, Simon! I’ll personally call the network and confirm the Avengers’ appearance!”

Wonder Man: “You’re sure it’s no trouble?”

Vision: “None whatsoever! After all, we have many Avengers -- !”

You sure do! Not as many as you’ll have by the No Surrender days. But still.

Also, I love this can-do attitude from you, Vision!

This is a pretty low priority in terms of fighting crime and whatnot but Vision is like THIS IS EXTREMELY DOABLE, I AM THE INTERNET.

Although imagine how sad it is from Wonder Man’s perspective. His agent put him on the spot pulling sorta-rank to get Simon some media attention but the media is like ‘ok but do you have something better?’

This man is trying to improve his career and the David Letterman show looked at him and said ‘ok but what else have you got?’

Oof!

Anyway, Vision uses the superpower of being wired into the phone system to call up some extra Avengers who aren’t very busy right now.

He calls Black Panther, Beast, and Black Widow.

Their varied responses are pretty funny.

But Black Panther’s is probably the best. He interrupts a meeting with his advisers to take the call and then he’s like ‘yeah sure I can drop everything I’m doing to appear on David Letterman!’

T’Challa really would rather be doing anything but kinging.

Beast initially protests that he’s too busy with the Defenders to just jump on some Avengers business but...

Beast: “The Letterman show? Hey, why didn’t you say so?”

And Black Widow is unbusy sunbathing at the Waldorf Towers while between missions. She doesn’t really want to make a television appearance (it’s kinda counterproductive for a spy, I would guess) but Vision mentions something that has Natasha agree to be there.

Based on what happens later, I guess Vision mentions that Hawkeye will be there.

A couple hours later, ELSEWHERE, well if it isn’t our ol’ friend and punchline Fabian Stankowicz!

Remember this goofus? He attacked the Avengers right when everyone was feeling bad about Hank Pym? Iron Man easily beat him up while the rest of the Avengers breezed on by. Or when he attacked Wasp’s cool superheroine brunch? Which was a hilariously terrible idea because he got between She-Hulk and breakfast foods. Also, nobody took him very seriously there either.

I guess the Avengers didn’t bother to press charges either time because he’s not in jail. He’s at his home working on some machines while his dad criticizes how he spends his time.

Dads, amirite?

Granted, what he’s criticizing is Fabian’s tendency to pick fights with superheroes. And... granted. Not a great use of his time.

But apparently Fabian can afford all the robot suits he keeps attacking the Avengers with because he won the lottery.

So he has a pretty good position to shoot down his dad’s protests, really.

Dad Stankowicz: “Fabian, I’m glad your poor mother didn’t live to see what’s become of you... It would’ve broken her heart!”

Fabian Stankowicz: “Aw, gimme a break, old man!”

Dad Stankowicz: “‘Old man’? This is the way you talk to your father?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “What do you want, egg in your beer? Was it you who won the state lottery and got us out of the Bronx? No, it was me! I won the money, and I’ll say how it’s spent! And I’m gonna use it to make a name for myself! Me... Fabian Stankowicz!”

And when Fabian sees an ad saying that the Avengers will be on Late Night with David Letterman, he has an idea. A wonderful, awful idea.

Also, who the heck puts egg in beer?

I’ve looked it up and I get that it’s a saying but apparently the saying is based on people actually doing that! Why??

The next afternoon, at 30 Rockefeller Plaza, where the show 30 Rock and this issue of Avengers both happen, this issue of Avengers is happening.

A CBS page shows Black Widow to the green room where the other Avengers are already waiting.

Also: I know that it’s all the Avengers who weren’t busy (even though T’Challa really should have been?) but this is a fun roster.

Hawkeye, Wonder Man, Beast, Black Widow and Panther?

Heck, I could imagine this being the Marvel equivalent of the Justice League International team, one more geared for some light-hearted comedy?

Except we’re in 1984 so this predates that.

But you have Beast and Wonder Man, your comedy duo best buds. You have Black Panther and Widow being varying levels of straight man to the nonsense. And you have Hawkeye who can be very serious or very ridiculous depending on how hot-headed he’s being at the time.

This team could be hilarious!

(Avengers International. Think about it, Marvel.)

Outside the green room, our ol’ buddy ol’ punching bag, Fabian Stankowicz is in disguise as a repairman with a mustache as cover for installing some devices in the studio. Then he puts on a beard to disguise himself as Perfectly Normal Bearded Audience Member.

I appreciate his intiative although I doubt any of the present Avengers are gonna recognize this guy on sight even if he wore a t-shirt that said “I’m Fabian Stankowicz.”

Fabian Stankowicz: Boy, this is gonna be so sweet, especially after the way the Avengers made me look like a chump those last two times! This time, it’s gonna be different! This time, I’m going to have a ringside seat for the defeat of the Avengers!

Or at least the Avengers that were available to show up on the Tonight Show with David Letterman.

Y’know, I like Fabian Stankowicz. He’s just smart enough to be dangerous and dumb enough to be entertaining. I think there’s a place for an ineffectual doofus with delusions of grandeur in the foe Rolodex of any superhero team.

Meanwhile, back with said Whoever Was Availables, Black Widow and Mockingbird are meeting for the first time.

And luckily, they’re both mature adults who don’t act like you’d usually see in media when the missus meets the ex.

So with a fight to the death NOT happening in the green room, Hawkeye gets to asking Mockingbird about the errand he sent her on which was why she wasn’t in the room when Black Widow first showed up.

Presumably using every bit of skill in espionage at her disposal, Mockingbird got a copy of the questions Letterman will be asking during the show.

Because Hawkeye will be fielding the questions and he has made the decision not to wear his hearing aid. And has also made the follow-up decision that not only will he not be hearing anything tonight, he’s also definitely going to be fielding all the questions.

Mockingbird: “Why won’t you wear a hearing aid?”

Hawkeye: “No can do, sweetheart! The fewer people who know I’m half-deaf, the safer it’ll be for all of us!”

(I don’t really get this reasoning but okay, man)

Mockingbird: “Then why not let someone else be spokesman? This is supposed to be Wonder Man’s big night!”

Hawkeye: “Sure... but I’m the only active Avenger here! Give me a kiss for luck!”

Not for nothing does Mockingbird think that he can be impossible sometimes. And she’s only known him a couple weeks! She’s already come to the correct read on him in that short a time.

David Letterman starts the show with an opening monologue.

David Letterman: “Tonight... What can I say? Tonight is something really special! In fact, it’s probably the most special show we’ve had since our 'camping with Barry White’ program! Yes... hard to believe, isn’t it? But with all due respect to Mr. White -- I think that this show may be our greatest ever. But, as they say, ‘that’s for history to decide!’”

Imagine being a talk show host and getting to introduce the Avengers. Pretty neat.

I like that bandleader Paul Shaffer is wearing a Captain America jersey. Although that makes me wonder once again what merchandising is like for Marvel superheroes.

Clearly it exists but did Cap sign off on a jersey mimicking his costume? Does he see any money from that? Or at least did he get to say that all profit goes to such and such charity?

Letterman introduces the Avengers for the audience.

(Fun how you can get a sense of their personality just by how they’re sitting. It’s the little touches that make a comic fun.)

Hm, I wonder how well the marvel public follows superhero roster changes.

I know that sometimes new Avengers rosters have gotten attention with press conferences and everything. And sometimes they just swap in and out members as personal business comes up.

Some of the people in the audience may not even recognize Black Widow as an Avenger. Becaaaaause, wait I don’t think she ever was one. She’s assisted on some missions and they were ready to vote her in when she vanished to go do a SHIELD mission.

Okay, better example, does anyone remember that Wonder Man- oh wait, he very publicly burst out of a crate in front of Avengers Mansion during press furor over a roster change. Also, he’s a pre-successful actor.

Black Pan- no, no. He was framed for killing the Avengers his very first day on the team. There was a manhunt.

And of course, everyone knows Beast was on the Avengers. He got around. Romantically.

David Letterman mentions that this group isn’t even all the Avengers because some couldn’t make it (read: were busy with more important things).

Which leads to a funny cut to audience where Beard Fabian is annoyed that this group is who got caught in his revenge scheme.

Fabian Stankowicz: Blast it, where’s Captain America? Where’s that &#%$ She-Hulk?

You better wash your brain out with soap before She-Hulk finds out you thought that about her. She’s dunked people into the garbage for lesser offenses.

Beast decides that this Late Night interview is the best time to reveal that he’s quitting as a reservist Avenger to focus on his version of the Defenders.

Letterman: “Wow, that was some bombshell the Beast just dropped, Hawkeye! You’re group spokesman... What do you think of that?”

Hawkeye: First question -- ! “Well, David, the Avengers is a non-profit organization, fully sanctioned as a peace-keeping force by just about ever international organization you could think of!”

Letterman: “Eh-heh-heh! You don’t say!”

Oh god, Beast’s bombshell messed up the order of questions and Hawkeye is firmly sticking to script because he can’t hear.

My god, Hawkeye.

Letterman: “You know, I was just about to ask you something along those lines. You wouldn’t be psychic by any chance -- ?”

Hawkeye: “No, of the founding members, only the Wasp and Thor remain as active Avengers.”

Letterman: “You little dickens! You’ve been peeking at my question sheet, haven’t you? All right, I might as well as my next question which is... ‘I hear you were recently married! Is that true?’”

Hawkeye: “Yes, Dave... just a few weeks ago!”

Letterman: “How about that!”

Did Hawkeye just think they were going to blaze through the questions? Even if Beast hadn’t preempted the first question, did Hawkeye think that there would be no follow-up questions? No discussion?

I’ve been on the fence on whether the jokes about Hawkeye not hearing the questions are poking fun at deaf people or at Hawkeye and yeah, Hawkeye is definitely the butt of this joke.

Fabian Stankowicz loses patience for this very dry question and answer session and decides to start his attack nnnnow.

One of the studio cameras is secretly A GIANT LASER. Because. And it blasts the stage.

Mockingbird is watching this on a tiny screen in the Green Room and goes out to help only to run afoul of some kind of mechanized steamrolling dumpster.

Back in the studio, Wonder Man has found his new nemesis.

Move over, Grim Reaper. You’re one-dimensional and everyone especially me hates you. Hello, laser blasting camera.

Wonder Man: “Let me at that thing, Beast! It’s ruining my guest-shot!”

Beast: “You’ll have to wait your turn, Wondy! It just shredded my favorite shirt!”

Priorities!

You know, this was supposed to be about Wonder Man and he only got to say two words during the interview portion.

Dangit, Hawkeye.

Apppppparently, the audience is just assuming that this is all part of the show. A cliche, sure. But it makes sense.

Would you really have the Avengers on a talk show and just have them talk? That’s a waste of perfectly good superheroes.

Also.... apparently? David Letterman used to run things over with a steamroller a lot? So a steamroller looking contraption crashing through the wall to attack the Avengers does seem like something that might happen?

Also, Paul Shaffer decides to just roll with it so as not to panic the audience.

The show must go on, after all.

The steamroller also starts firing missiles at Beast, as ya do.

Beast: “Hunter missiles? I don’t believe this is happening on network tv!”

Wonder Man tries punching the steamroller to no avail but which does give Black Panther a chance to pull out the tried and true “Wonder Man’s fists carry as much bludgeoning power as Thor’s hammer!”

Y’know, originally, that was a flex that set Wonder Man as a threat to the team but after he joined, that never really seemed to actually be the case.

Imagine if Wonder Man always hit as hard as Thor’s hammer? Like, he’s minding his own business and then the Gorr the God Butcher arc happens and Wonder Man is like ‘huh, why do I suddenly feel like my punches could destroy planets light years away? That’s a very specific feeling!’

Fabian Stankowicz takes advantage of the spectacle chaos to walk out of the audience, plunk himself down into one of the interview chairs, remove his entirely convincing beard, and introduce himself to David Letterman as the guy who is definitely to blame for all the action setpieces going on.

Letterman, like Paul Shaffer, just decides to roll with it. Humor the guy. Ask him why he’s doing this.

Fabian Stankowicz: “Why? To prove it could be done! To show what one incredibly gifted individual can accomplish...”

Letterman: “... To get your name in the papers?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “That too! After all, the Avengers have battled Zodiac... the Masters of Evil... Doctor Doom! I want to make as big a name for myself as those guys!”

Letterman: “Seems to me that ‘Stankowicz’ is already a pretty big name!”

Badum pish?

He asks Fabian to explain all of his devices and Fabian is happy too.

I mean, he’s being a supervillain for the notoriety and supervillains already love to hear themselves talk so he’s double dipping into the ‘I will exposit everything at the drop of a hat’ well.

And imagine, Fabian built all this stuff in his garage with lottery winnings.

The steamroller thing isn’t just a steamroller, it’s also got a gravity generator. Which, I guess, makes sense if you’re expecting to go against a She-Hulk or a Thor. A regular steamroller isn’t going to do more than annoy.

Wonder Man fighting so hard against the roller makes it increase gravity so much that Simon and steamroller just fall through the floor.

Hm. I wonder what’s filmed in the studios the floor down. They’re about to have an exciting guest star in that steamroller.

Black Widow (still tangling with the laser camera) points Hawkeye towards Fabian. Although she has to shout and Hawkeye still doesn’t really get it but is happy to shoot an arrow at someone that Black Widow is vigorously gesturing at.

Alas, Fabian is one of those prepared villains we’ve been hearing so much about.

He built a force field too, and the arrow just bounces right off.

(Hey, uh, Hawkeye? What kind of arrow was that? Because it looks technological and you just shot it at this guy’s head)

Truly, can nothing stop this insidious yet not very menacing criminal genius?

Oh, I guess David Letterman can.

Knocks him out with a big knob.

It’s just plain big.

Prop comedy, amirite?

The audience seems to love it anyway. I looked up a clip of the big doorknob and it didn’t meet with this much applause. Maybe its because it was used to do violence this time?

Was the giant door knob a beloved part of Late Show lore?

David Letterman: “I guess that’ll teach you not to mess with David Letterman!”

That’s a line with weird energy to it.

Anyway, it would be a sad day for this random assemblage of backup Avengers if they were upstaged completely by David Letterman and his big knob.

Black Widow and Hawkeye finally manage to blow up the laser camera.

I’m not sure why it took them this long. Sure, the camera could apparently move, based on motion lines in previous panels. But the world’s best marksman couldn’t nail it sooner?

But the important thing is that eventually, they did do it.

The floor starts rumbling as well as Wonder Man flies back up with his belt-jets with the trashed roller and a shit-eating grin.

Wonder Man: “Sorry this took so long -- But I guess I’m a little rusty at tackling big hunks of tin like this!”

Fabian Stankowicz: Rusty? It took me a month to design that, and he totaled it in less than five minutes!

But since everyone’s focus is on Wonder Man (for once), Fabian tries to sneak away.

And runs smack dab into Mockingbird who has a lot of justified anger over almost getting run over by the roller earlier. But she just throws him over to some police that have finally shown up.

Letterman tells the audience not to try any of this at home, just in case any of them have gravity-generator osmium steel steamrollers lying around? And cuts to commercial, presumably so that some basic tidying can happen.

Hours after the filming of the show concludes, the Avengers TV Squad have returned to the mansion, with Vision wishing he could have taken part of this assistant editors month special issue.

Vision: “What became of Stankowicz?”

Black Panther: “Well, with all the charges NBC is leveling against him, the only machinery he’ll be dealing with for some time will be in the New York State Prison library!”

So, he attacked Avengers Mansion. He attacked Wasp’s superheroine brunch at the Van Dyne residence. That’s all well and good. He attacks the Avengers again in the NBC studio and the man is going to jail forever.

I guess the Avengers really haven’t been bothering to press charges on Fabian. But a massive media corporation isn’t so kind.

Since Hawkeye is technically the active Avenger (even though Vision’s hologram head is RIGHT there) he has to follow up on the thing Beast said about quitting the Avengers reservists.

Beast says its not right for him to be an Avengers reservist if he’s also trying to turn “the Defenders into a for-real group!”

Uh, Defenders fans? Wasn’t the appeal of the Defenders them being the not-team team? How did people feel about Beast going ‘ok but what if they were more like other teams instead?’

Meanwhile, Wonder Man is pacing, waiting for the Late Show to come on so he can see how he did when WOMP WOMP the show is interrupted by a special news bulletin.

Wonder Man is aghast that his big break isn’t even airing but when the special news bulletin is about a burning chemical barge, his hero instincts that he has suddenly swell up.

Wonder Man: “This... This is awful! What’re we standing around for? Let’s do something! We’re Avengers, aren’t we?”

Black Panther: “That we are, Simon! Let’s go!”

Beast also decides, hey, one more time won’t hurt and accepts his Avengers ID card back from Hawkeye.

And as they’re headed off to the Quinjet, Beast has a hopeful note for Wonder Man.

Beast: “Hey, Wondy -- remember, there’s a three-hour time difference between the coasts! If we can get this mess cleaned up in time, maybe some folks in California will still see you get your big break!”

Wonder Man: “And if we don’t -- ?”

Beast: “Well, that’s show biz!”

Pretty enjoyable issue! Like, sure, its a good for Assistant Editor’s Month. But if you’re going to do a goof, then you can do worse than bringing back Fabian Stankowicz for a third time’s not the charm.

Speaking of charm, having the Avengers appear on a talk show is a charming concept. Not a whole lot was done with it except the joke about Hawkeye answering the wrong questions but its still a fun idea.

And having the Avengers off busy lets us brush off some Also Avengers that haven’t been in play for a bit. That’s a fun idea that I wouldn’t mind seeing some more.

Have the reservists called in because of a situation happening when the Avengers are already busy.

Heck, I’d like to see a situation where the silliest and least regarded Avengers are the only ones available to respond to an emergency. Have them bounce off each other as a group. Maybe they’re mutually aware of their bad reputations.

Anyway, I expected this issue would be ridiculous but it was also enjoyable. Didn’t mind it at all. And (though by a different writer) the Hawkeye miniseries was very enjoyable too.

This is just feeling like a good era for the Avengers team.

Next time, apparently The Ghost of Jessica Drew. So she’s some kind of ghost spider? Nobody tell Carol Danvers.

Follow @essential-avengers because I typed this post partially while a cat was lying on my wrist. That’s dedication. Which you can’t spell without cat. Also, like and reblog if you think its likeable and rebloggable.

#avengers #Mechano Marauder #Hawkeye #mockingbird #Wonder Man #Beast #Black Widow #Black Panther #essential avengers #essential marvel liveblogging #the one wherein they appear on david letterman #pretty fun

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stonefreeak · 4 years

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Sorry it’s taken me so long! Life, amirite?

In some ways, Quinlan is almost fucking impressed by how good La is at not admitting to anything at all. He knows that Hissleet Endai is an assassins' guild, he knows that La no doubt knows a lot of their targets... But she's also keeping mum so hard that Quinlan can't use her knowledge to narrow down the possible culprits.

It really would be impressive if it wasn't so fucking frustrating.

So. He's gonna need a plan B.

He discussed the scene with the other Jedi when they arrived and compared notes regarding what they'd discovered at the scene of the bombing... But they also concluded that it's probably for the best if Quinlan takes a trip there himself too.

He's felt the Sith Lord so clearly it nearly choked him. If there are any hints of him anywhere near that office, Quinlan will find them.

"Well, La. For all that you're helpful you're supremely unhelpful."

She rolls her eyes and gives him a wry smile. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Van."

Quinlan rolls his eyes right back at her and shakes his head.

"Nevermind." He rolls his shoulders. "Grab your identifier, we're going to visit the Senate and the Senate Office Building and if we run into the Sith Lord, I don't plan on missing it."

La snorts loudly. "And how are you expecting to get me inside without anyone getting suspicious? Or can Jedi just walk around the Senate Office Building with anyone they want?"

Quinlan gives her a sharp grin. "Not hardly. But—!" No doubt are his teeth glittering in the lamp light—"I've got a plan."

He watches with much amusement as La's face twists from confusion to horror as he holds up some regular Jedi robes he borrowed from the Temple.

This'll be easy.

~~~~

"I'm genuinely surprised that these clothes are comfortable," La says under her breath as they head towards the main Senate building.

Quinlan snorts. "They're not expensive and generally of simple make—it's not like we need anything more—but they're also meant for us to wear in our daily lives or on missions. Of course they're comfortable. You don’t want to get distracted by a wedgie on a mission."

He pauses and rolls his eyes and continues before La can say anything else. "Except for those few weirdos who think the clothes ought to itch and that it'll lead to a better understanding of the Force. But they're few and far in between, and honestly I think they just like being miserable."

La chokes on a laugh, and in the corner of his eye, Quinlan can see her struggling to keep her expression calm and collected.

He grins; he knows he's funny.

Not to mention that it's easier now to crack jokes, now that he knows that Obi-Wan is fine. That he has recovered.

It's easier to deal with your emotions and let them go when everything is alright. It's always a struggle to handle your inner turmoil when the cause of it is still ongoing. Not that Quinlan lets himself dwell on that stuff too much. Sometimes you just need to relax and let things come as they will. Still, he's seen the struggle, he's heard about it...

He feels the pull sometimes, as everyone does, but he tries to keep himself and his emotions fairly laid back. Take things as they come, things'll work out one way or another, and if they don't then they probably weren't meant to. That, or he did his best and it just wasn't enough this time. That does happen, even though it sucks a lot when it does.

Sometimes you do your very best, and without a single mistake, you still fail. Doing, after all, is outside of its outcome. Doing does not mean certainty regarding succeeding or failing. Trying, however, saves the ego. If you fail when you “tried” then it’s okay, because you hadn’t really committed to it anyway, you were just trying, not doing.

Do or do not, there is no try, indeed.

Quinlan shakes himself. Now’s not the time to get philosophical and ruminate on Master Yoda’s words of wisdom; he’s got a job to do.

"So, got the scanner ready?"

La nods. "I've got it."

Quinlan grins and leads the way inside. He doesn't hang out in the Senate a lot—it's not his scene, he's a tracker and infiltrator, not really a diplomat—but he does know the basic rules for how to behave yourself. He's not sure about La, but she's probably trained to fade into the background wherever she is, so he's not that worried about her making a fool of herself.

If they're lucky, they might actually stumble upon the Sith Lord without him noticing and then they can get everyone else involved and get rid of most of the Sith problems they're having. Catching the Sith Lord won't stop Dooku, but they can probably deal with that at a later date. Killing the snake cradled to their breast is more important than killing the snake a few metres away in the sand.

Time to do this thing.

~~~~

"Well. I don't want to say it's a waste of time..." La looks exhausted, and Quinlan can feel echoes of frustration from her in the Force.

He shrugs. "The Senate is huge. We've at least managed to rule out the Senators who took part in today's session, all we need now is to get the participation protocol and get them crossed off our list of suspects."

"But that's just the Senators! All of them have staff as well!" La's face twists and her canines become visible as she curls her lips in anger.

Quinlan just shrugs again. "If you thought this would be easy, sorry to disappoint you."

She lets out a huge sigh and her shoulders relax somewhat. Seeing that she's calmed down somewhat, Quinlan nods to himself.

"Well, time to head over to the Senate Office Building and take a look at the other crime scene." He rolls his shoulders. "I might be able to pick something up when we're there. Not necessarily, but maybe."

The reconstructions of the building are going well, though the epicentre of the blast is still kept in its destroyed state for the time being. But most of the building is back to being used.

Huh, maybe he can check in on and annoy Kenobi for a bit. That'd do wonders for his nerves.

Grinning to himself Quinlan sets off, La hot on his heels.

Sooner or later they'll find what they need, one way or another. They can't be sure that the solution will be easy and straightforward, life rarely is, but sometimes a surprising twist adds a little flavour to life.

It's like the food in the Temple. There's a huge variety in foods you can get, or you can get the bland highly nutritious but super boring fare that's designed to keep dietary restrictions and allergies in mind. A lot of the time that's good and fine, but sometimes you just really want some good Gardeenian sweat spices on your food and spend the rest of the evening sweating like a furnace from the heat of it all.

So.

Investigation first and then he can bother Obi-Wan.

—

(Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi masterpost)

#Supreme Chancellor Obi Wan Kenobi #star wars #Quinlan Vos #update #my writing

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uniarycode · 3 years

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Remember when I said I might to a Xros Wars liveblog/rewatch becuase I don’t remember it all that well? No? Well today is apparently the 8th anniversary of Digimon Fusion, and while I’m going to go off of the sub (Xros Qars), if I’m going to do this re-watch liveblog thing it’s as good a time as any to start.

Haven’t really tried anything of this style, so I’m experimenting a little bit.

(Have to turn off the beta for this because pic limit, lol tumblr)

Pic of the day: Common sense

We open with a menacing army full of Mookmon, sorry, Troopmon, Tankmon, and some bigger baddies. Like physically bigger, I don’t recall them being very important. (I see you Valvemon in the top left.)

Then we get introduced to a human and a trio of Digimon that will in no way be important.

There’s also an army of good guys, you can tell they are good guys because they show up in previous seasons. I uh, only actually remember two of them appearing in this show.

Anyway, Taiki says Digixros a bunch, and the three non-silhouettes merge together into….x4? Poor Starmon I guess, no recognition.

X4 then solos the army of Mookmon, which is probably why the rest of the ‘good’ army never appears again, clearly they are superfluous. But X4 gets taken down by a lone off-color Greymon because nostalgia.

..and it was a dream.

(So Akari and Zenjirou don’t matter....that sounds about right.)

We are then introduced to Akari, who is trying to deduce exactly which ball-based team sport she got stood up for.

She stops midway to take a selfie, kids these days, amirite? Also to grab a bag with Taiki’s name on it...literally.

Taiki manages to pull an MVP move on the basketball court, by pretending to be in a sports anime when really just passing to a teammate. Thus securing the team the win that he’s been looking for for months… sorry, I mean four days.

Yeah, that’s a Taiki thing. The kid is a prodigy at nearly anything he picks up. The implication is that he throws himself into it completely, and then:

He does not necessarily pick the best time or place for a nap.

Akari being the best character (of this arc)

Taiki reveals that his need to throw himself headfirst is because of a desire to help those in need, not because he’s just showing off.

(I am reminded how much his gary-stu ness annoyed me the first time I watched this.)

Zenjirou shows up and I’m def going to spell that name wrong at some point. He’s mostly here for comic relief, but also to reinforce that Taiki can pick up a sport (kendo) in a couple of days and beat people who have been training their entire lives.

While Akari and Zenjirou rehash the great 1998 case of Bros V. Hoes, Taiki hears the voice of a dying king, then suddenly: chaos. Cars merge into walls, phones stop working, the sky turns green, dogs and cats, living together.

Turns out, cars superimposed into building are not stable. The strange voice warns Taiki of the falling car, and after he saves his friends, he is now able to see the tortured outline of Shoutmon.

All well and good, Taiki, but how do you propose helping the disembodied light?

(We also get a flashback to baby Taiki between these)

Shoutmon soft-mocks Taiki for trying to help him, and Taiki points out Shoutmon did the same, just in case you didn’t believe they were destined partners.

Floating toy with another disembodied voice. Offering to help if Taiki accepts, he does and the x loader turns from white to red. The others reasonably do not think touching the floating mystical toy is a good idea.

They wake up in a strange world, normal Digimon stuff, turns out the X-loader doubles as a Pokecenter, very convinent.

Then, suddenly the army of mookmon appear, lead by a new Digimon:

(Look. if the writers determined you were going to die every season, you wouldn’t be very happy either.)

But then dream Digimon #2 shows up to save them, alongside a bunch of babies. Shoutmon also comes out to fight. .

We get a quick sequence of the allies using special attacks to wipe the floor with the mooks, normal debut episode things. Then Madleomon gets mad that a human is involved and absorbs all his friends to…Digivolve?

(They missed a perfect opportunity for raving MadLeomon)

Uhh, good plan?

The mysterious voice tells Taiki to use the x-loader, which he does to form…the top half of a super-fighting robot. Which lasts long enough to get off one punch before dissolving. He then xroses the Starmon and Pickmons into a sword, (will happen a bunch.) just in case you weren’t sure of the core mechanic.

Madleomon’s powerup breaks, and he gets forced back, namedropping a greater villain. Tactimon, obsessed with perfection. Which is a good thing, because if he’s like half the perfectionist I know he’ll be too busy sorting out all the details of his plan to actually execute it.

Coming on a little strong there bub. Maybe take him out for a coffee first?

The name of the kids this time is generals, but that also gets extended to some Digimon.

If you are used to normal Digimon seasons, this is going to be a bit of a jump. It isn’t the normal 1 human 1 partner here. This is a battle of armies, (but mostly just jogress ++)

And yeah, they know nothing.

Keep being creepy Nene.

And also blond blue boy featuring off-color Greymon.

And thus ends the first episode that was mostly about introducing Taiki, and the concept of Digixrosing. Also uses a lot of X4 for never showing every component.

Final note: add break card

I think maaayyybe Vmon shows up in a limited capacity? For a series that is perfectly willing to completely ignore levels and do something completely different in terms of evolution, there sure is a lot of nostalgia pandering.

#Digimon #Xros wars #Uni watches Digimon #liveblogg #this took way longer to set up than I was expecting

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jounetsunosymphonia · 4 years

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Nocturnality (Mankai Stage Winter 2020 translation)

translation for the stage version of winter’s third play! song can be found in full here.

ALRIGHT FOLKS IT’S THE GAY PEOPLE. HERE WE GO. a lot of it is actually like...silent? you can hear it in the soundtrack ver that it’s just inst with some occasional sound effects and i’ll write in what’s happening, but i just think it’s interesting that that’s how they decided to go about showing things for noct. i mean, it makes sense. show not tell amirite.

cast list

Yukishiro Azuma (Ueda Kandai) as Kuto Reo Takato Tasuku (Kitazono Ryo) as Seo Kota Mikage Hisoka (Ueda Keisuke) as Franz Arisugawa Homare (Tanaka Ryousei) as Nonomiya Tsukioka Tsumugi (Aramaki Yoshihiko) as Izumi Ryohei

(the curtain rises. kota is going about his business, reading and sleeping on the couch in the foreground, going to work at his office. in the background, reo drinks from an unsuspecting passerby, but is accosted by a vampire hunter in white. franz shows up to have a knife fight with the vampire hunter, but reo is injured, and falls into kota’s arms as he’s walking home.)

Kota: Hey!

Reo: Help...me...

Reo: Good morning. You were a great help yesterday.

Kota: Did you make this?

Reo: It’s just from what was in the fridge, so it’s nothing special, but I wanted to give you something as thanks for letting me stay the night.

Kota: Amazing. What are you, a wife?

Reo: I’ve lived this long, but I think this is the first time someone’s called me a wife.

(kota takes a bite of the sandwich reo made him, but the funny part is that bc of the face shield requirement, it doesn’t make it to his mouth. the poor man can’t eat his wife’s cooking. rest in pieces.)

Kota: It’s good! I’m Seo Kota. And you are?

Reo: Reo...Kuto Reo.

Kota: Reo. If you don’t have anywhere else to go, you can stay here for a while.

Reo: You’d let a man you don’t even know stay in your house?

Kota: Eh, well...my room’s nice and clean...and this is delicious. If you stay, it’ll be a big help for me too.

Reo: You’re really trusting, aren’t you. Well, I’ll be in your care, then.

Kota: Aren’t you going to eat?

Reo: I eat at irregular times. Don’t mind me, just eat.

[winter telepathy time part 1] Azuma: (Just as I’d expect from you. You’re really giving off this feeling of helplessness that’s nothing like how you are normally.)

Tasuku: (The version of me that always seems strong might be the one that’s acting, though.)

Azuma: (You can say something like that without hesitation...you’re an adult, so you are strong.)

Tasuku: (Because we’ve got these members...let’s take this to the very end, in a delicate way fitting for Winter.)

Azuma: (Yes, let’s.)

Kota: I’m off.

Reo: Take care.

Kota: So you’re just going to send me out. Yesterday...you asked me for help...

Reo: I’m sorry...

Izumi: Oh, do you live here? I just moved in, I’m Izumi.

Kota: I’m Seo. Nice to meet you.

Izumi: You’re on your way to work, right? Sorry for stopping you.

Kota: No, it’s alright. If you ever have any problems, please let me know.

Nonomiya: Hey, I heard. You picked someone up off the street? That’s way too suspicious. This isn’t an afternoon drama or a manga for middle-aged ladies.

Kota: Give me a break. Reo’s a good guy. And he can cook.

Nonomiya: (sigh.) If you say stuff like that it’s only gonna hurt you.

[winter telepathy time part 2] Homare: (Well, well, how is it? My acting as an office worker.)

Tasuku: (Honestly, I’m surprised. You can even do a role like this smoothly now, huh.)

Homare: (An outstanding artist can excel in anything they do.)

Tasuku: (How reliable.)

Homare: (Now, continue as you like. The rest of us shall support you.)

(kota goes home. he and reo spend time talking together until he seems to get tired, when reo helps him over to the bed.)

Reo Saying that I’m sorry Might not be fair I’m eating away at your life And yet I wonder why Even though I want your blood, I don’t want it

(and then reo dramatically leans over kota and just, Bite)

Kota: Sorry about last night.

Reo: ...what for?

Kota: I’ve been having a lot of nightmares lately. I must be noisy in my sleep.

Reo: No, you’ve been sleeping quietly.

Kota: That’s good, then.

Reo: Rather than worry about someone else, you should look after yourself...

Kota: Huh?

Reo: Nothing. Are you feeling well? Can you go to work?

Kota: Yeah. I had some of your cooking, so I’m fine. I’m off.

Izumi: Good morning.

Kota: Good morning.

Izumi: Ah, Seo-san. Are you off on weekdays as well? I’ve been hearing noises from next door in the middle of the day, so...

Kota: Oh, no. I just have a friend over.

Izumi: Is that so...a friend. (i love this part bc when he says ““ah. a friend.”” he goes from being nice gentle neighbour to “were it not for the fact that you were a human i would have murdered you where you stand” in like zero seconds, thanks mackey)

[winter telepathy time part 3] Tasuku: (How is everyone, Tsumugi?)

Tsumugi: (To put it simply, I’ve got respect for them. No matter how minute an action is, they can return it, and everyone’s acting is so varied, it’s interesting.)

Tasuku: (Jeez, you’re the one who does that the most and you’re going to say it?)

Tsumugi: (We...started acting so that one day we’d meet Winter, didn’t we.)

Tasuku: (...we did.)

Nonomiya: Oi, Seo. You look terrible.

Kota: I just didn’t get any sleep, I guess.

Nonomiya: It’s not just today. You’ve been like this the whole week. That’s when you met that freeloader, right? Something’s just off about him.

Kota: I told you, it’s not Reo’s fault.

Nonomiya: No, he’s too suspicious. I’m coming with you.

Franz: Well, you’ve found a nice place to lay your head, haven’t you? Care to share it with me?

Reo: It’s not like that. Don’t interfere.

Franz: Ah, how cold! Isn’t that a part of our relationship?

Reo: If that’s all you wanted from me, then leave, Franz.

Franz I don’t know what it is you’ve become so infatuated with But we cannot—

Reo I know, the sun’s light is too strong ...and yet, I’ll end up longing for it anyway

Franz Hatred of the dark—

Reo I can’t help but wish—

Franz —is humanity’s weakness

Reo —that we’d be able to live alongside each other

Kota: Eh? Reo...who’s that?

Nonomiya: Wait, that’s who you picked up? I knew it, he’s definitely suspicious!

Kota: I told you, he isn’t like that. Hey, Reo!

(i just wanna point out here it’s so funny he goes from :( at nono to the gentlest voice calling out to reo, and nonomiya just loOKS SO PISSED LIKE . HUH? WHAT ARE YOU BEING SOFT AT HIM FOR. HEY.)

Reo: Kota...

Franz: Is that him? Well, he does have a good physique... (franz licks his fangs i hate it so much u all need to know this)

Reo: Franz, let’s go somewhere else.

Nonomiya: They ran off! Those guys are probably part of some criminal organisation or something, right?!

Kota: That’s enough, Nonomiya! But...why did he ignore me...?

Kota Letting you stay in my home Might be unfair

Kota, Reo I’m getting used to having you around You’re a man I just met, only by coincidence But I always want to be with you

Franz: You haven’t been drinking blood much, have you?

Reo: Since I’m staying in his home, I can’t bring myself to drink from him properly.

Franz: Is that not the entire point of this human? Just hurry up and drink already, you’ll die.

Reo: That’s what I wanted to do at first.

Kota: Why did you just run away without saying anything...Reo...

Franz: Our pursuers are closing in on this neighbourhood. That’s what I came here to tell you.

Reo: Thank you.

Franz: Have you no intention of leaving that house? Surely, at this point—

Reo: It’s fine. It’ll be fine.

(kota is asleep on the floor by the couch by the time reo gets back home and thEY ARE LITERALLY SITTING LIKE THE DAMN POSTER HOLDING HANDS AS REO SINGS THE NEXT PART)

Reo Even if it isn’t fair for me to apologise I need to tell you I’m glad I met you So I’ll leave it til the end I want your blood I want it more than anyone else

Reo: You’ve been such a great help. I didn’t mean to stay for so long, but I got too comfortable.

Kota: There’s no need for you to leave so soon, since it’s easier on me too, anyway.

Reo: That’s not why I’m leaving.

Kota: Have you found a place to stay?

Reo: Kind of. Kota...thank you.

Kota: Oh, Izumi-san. Good morning.

Reo: You...!

Izumi: So you’re moving out? Well, here’s a going-away present.

Reo: Kota, get back! (izumi runs him right through with a sword. a whole sword.)

Kota: Izumi-san?

Izumi: What a shame. It’s only been a little while, but we were neighbours too! (he twists the sword while it’s still in reo, he’s a terrible man and i love him)

Kota: What are you doing?!

(some very excellent sword swinging and mad cackling from izumisan while reo is suffering and falls to the ground. thank you mackey.)

Izumi: Filthy creature of the night. Thou shalt be eradicated in the name of my blood pact!

(kota runs in front of reo.)

Izumi: Out of the way. I’ll kill you as well.

Reo: Stop! Kota has nothing to do with this!

Izumi: Ha! The two of you are friendly, aren’t you. Even though humans are nothing more than meals to your kind.

Kota: Meals...? What are you talking about?

Izumi: He’s a vampire. Humans’ enemy.

Kota: Vampire? Reo would never...! (he backs away from reo for a bit)

Reo: Kota...

Izumi: Now, hand him over.

(kota goes back to reo and protectively puts his arms around him.)

Izumi: Ah, so you’ve debased yourself to the level of an underling of blood. No matter. I’ll send you both off.

(franz jumps from the steps, fending off izumi’s sword with his two entire knives i love stage ver. he even twirls a knife as he talks.)

Franz: Oh, my. I thought I’d join in myself, but it looks like I’ve drawn the short end of the stick. Well, it can’t be helped. I’ll give you a hand.

Izumi: Accursed vampire...

(EXTREMELY GOOD SWORD + KNIFE FIGHT IT’S GOOD THAT’S ALL I CAN TELL YOU THEY’RE EXCELLENT I LOVE THEM)

[winter telepathy time part 4] Tsumugi: (This is amazing, Hisoka-kun. Your movements are far more polished than they were during rehearsals.)

Hisoka: (I don’t even need to think, my body’s just moving on its own. I don’t know why, though.)

Tsumugi: (Maybe it has something to do with your past.)

Hisoka: (I want to face them too...like Azuma...my memories...)

(THIS ENTIRE TIME THEY ARE STILL AGGRESSIVELY KNIFE FIGHTING EVEN WHILE THEY’RE HAVING THIS INTERNAL CONVERSATION I LOSE MY SHIT EVERY TIME)

(franz disarms izumi and kicks him in the face.)

Franz: Want to keep going?

Izumi: Humanity will not yield to your kind. The white blade shall invariably pass judgement upon you! (he runs away like a little bitch but at least he got a real fight this time)

Kota: Reo! Reo!!

Franz: Can you leave him to me?

Kota: But...

Franz: Worry not. He and I are the same.

Kota: ...Fine. Please take care of him.

Franz: There’s a good boy.

Kota There’s no need for you to apologise I’ll give you my blood So please, please Live I don’t want to lose you

(IN AT LEAST ONE OF THE LIVE VERSIONS HE SOUNDS LIKE HE’S STARTING TO CRY AS HE’S SINGING THE LAST LINE. WHAT EVEN IS STAGE NOCT)

Reo: Where’s Kota...?

Franz: He’s fine. You don’t expect me to ask him to share some of his blood, do you?

Reo: ...thank you, Franz.

Franz: Since you’ve been found out, you can’t stay here any longer. The next one will be coming along soon.

Reo: What have we done wrong? We only live a little longer than regular humans.

Franz: Anything unorthodox must be eliminated. That’s how humanity is.

Kota: Reo!

Reo: This is goodbye, Kota. I’m glad I met you.

Kota: I understand what’s going on now. There’s no need for you to leave!

Reo: Humans like you make even this mundane life worth living.

Kota: Are you just going to live alone like this again?

Reo: This is the fate of my kind.

Kota: ...then, take me with you. (this idiot is really out here on the ground opening his fucking collar i’m sorry i can’t take it here i’m lsoing my shit)

Reo: What...?

Kota: I’m saying I’ll keep you company. I’ll do anything, I’ll even become a vampire!

[winter telepathy time part 5] Azuma: (This distance that we haven’t...that we couldn’t break through until now...after bravely taking a step forward, I feel like we’ve become more connected to each other than ever before.)

Reo: ...Thank you, Kota. Just hearing you say that, I...

aaaand it goes into shoutai here. as always from the wiki

Reo, Kota The truth is I want to bite sweetly into the nape of your neck, and play with the red blood that flows forth Though my instincts may howl for release, I have kept them held back deep inside me If I hated you any more than I do, I would have long taken everything from you To the point that my throat runs dry, my heart has thirsted for it Listening to the tender echo of your sleeping breaths I have begun to learn what it means to fear loneliness

Reo Laughing at myself for letting a human grow on me I walk out into the depths of darkness all alone

(here i genuinely think that reo doesn’t actually bite kota again like he does in the original? like, he just kinda knocks him out and leaves his coat over him like a blanket. which makes me ??!?!!?? like...it feels like it’s really driving home the whole idea that reo doesn’t want to hurt him any more than he already has and i’m bbbhgbhhhb ok)

Reo: Good night, and sweet dreams...

Nonomiya: Hey. Hey! Are you alive? Seo-chan?! (SEO-CHAN????????????)

Kota: ...h.

Nonomiya: What, you just overslept? You had me worried since you didn’t show up to work.

Kota: (running around the room) Where’s Reo?

Nonomiya: Reo? (picks up the jacket on the floor) What’s this?

Kota: (clutching the jacket in tears) He...left me behind... (HE STARTS SOBBING ON THE FLOOR)

Nonomiya: Are you okay...? Hey...

(while kota is sobbing on the floor you can see reo at the top part of the stage staring forlornly at the whole thing. i hate it here so much)

Kota: That idiot...

(it’s in the actual show, i don’t know why it’s not included in the soundtrack? ig bc it’s like...an adlib in-universe but so is sagishima’s thing about being fond of shiki and that’s on the soundtrack. idk man. thanks for reading the vampire gays.)

#mankai stage #winter 2020 #winter troupe #yukishiro azuma #takato tasuku #mikage hisoka #arisugawa homare #tsukioka tsumugi #ueda kandai #kitazono ryo #ueda keisuke #tanaka ryousei #aramaki yoshihiko #november translations #normally the plays end with the play songs so i can just end it at the lyrics without saying anything #but noct doesn't so i just...oops #a3

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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

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August 5: 3x02 The Enterprise Incident

After several weeks of being in like a TOS desert (Assignment: Earth; Spock’s Brain) finally we get to The Enterprise Incident, one of the best episodes, possibly of all time. Why was D.C. Fontana so good??? How??

McCoy narration! How unusual. I like how it contributes to the generally jarring opening, with Kirk acting so out of character and so on. All of the crew being fooled and the audience too.

I’d say this scene is the only one Kirk haters have ever seen--where he’s all arrogant and impatient and mean--but he’s not being slutty enough.

When you need intel, you go to Uhura.

This is an interesting ep because the Enterprise is being uncharacteristically sneaky. Usually, they’re obviously doing the right thing in the straightforwardly right way, but this really is an espionage mission, which includes, in addition to the garden variety lying, major stuff like uh treaty breaking.

Wow, a Romulan with a name. Unusual. Is he the first named Romulan?

They want the Enterprise. They want his lady!

Hmmm, you have a Vulcan on board, do you? Very interested in that. It’s pretty funny that the Commander calls up as soon as Tal mentions Spock,like she has a sixth sense that picked up on a potential hottie on the enemy ship.

Oh no, Kirk and Spock aren’t getting along. Trouble in paradise...

Spock looks very disapproving. And Kirk is acting downright despotic. Hot.

Imagine being the Romulan hostages lol. That’s awkward. “Go their ship and uh sit in their brig, nbd, we’ll bring you back.” (And then later one of them is unceremoniously stripped naked.) (And then later still they’re completely forgotten about!!!)

Scotty’s face when he sees the hostages is very funny. Like “oh I know what to do with YOU.”

I love the Female Romulan Commander already.

Wow Kirk is such a liar. Just say it loudly enough and it will SEEM true. Navigation error etc.

“It’s no myth that Vulcans can’t lie,” Spock lied.

“It’s not a lie to keep the truth to oneself.” Feel like I gotta outright steal that.

Oooh, the Commander has a temper.

Kirk is “a highly sensitive and emotional person.”

He’s living for the drama.

This must be all very confusing for the crew.

I love Captain Scotty. He’s so intense.

“You make a brave noise.” Burn.

Spock’s been an officer for 18 years. I’d do the math on that but I’m not sure when one becomes an officer specifically.

“Do you like Captain Kirk?” (I don’t even remember why I wrote this down, but uh, yeah.)

...Damn this whole scene is so good.

“I don’t make house calls.”

Except for Kirk.

It’s bizarre that the Romulans are in Klingon ships (that look like Federation ships on the inside) for pretty much no reason but I do like the design of them in general.

Funny how “Attend me” sounds an awful lot like “My wife, attend.”

Lol at the crocheted board shorts on the male Romulan officers. The Commander is MUCH more stylish.

“Are the guards invited on our date?”

“It would be illogical to assume that all conditions remain stable.” What a F L I R T.

Very bold of her to basically declare “Spock, you’re Captain now.”

Kirk looks like the drunk friend, swaying in the background, gearing up to something.

“Vulcan death grip” lol. Sounds like made up Vulcan nonsense to me! (And it is.)

Even if it weren’t, Spock is an adult Vulcan and a trained Starfleet officer, he would never just accidentally death grip someone.

And now it all comes out. Because Chapel was nosy. Love that she just casually knows all this stuff about Vulcan abilities.

They told Bones pretty late about this whole plan. I feel like Scotty and Bones should have been in the original loop.

“You’re lucky they didn’t start an autopsy.”

Love that part of Kirk’s transformation into a Romulan was putting on eye shadow.

Also love Scotty’s face journey when he sees Romulan!Kirk.

Look at these decadent Commander’s quarters. Spock must love them.

Recruiting inducements lol--is that what the kids are calling it these days?

“Don’t beam me into a bulkhead.” Don’t even joke.

Spock hasn’t sent the coordinates because he’s DISTRACTED while on his DATE.

I love their little square drinking glasses.

“I do... appreciate it.”

“If you don’t tell me your name, I’ll have to make one up for you.”

TOS Spock apparently more smooth than AOS Kirk.

When she stood up, that mini-skirt basically became a shirt--barely.

His lady leaves the room and he immediately call his man--what a slut.

The Commander’s “casual” outfit is easily one of the best TOS costumes. So pretty! 10/10 would wear today.

“Stimulate...our discussion.” Sure. Your discussion.

He’s been moved emotionally.

Dammit Tal! Stop cockblocking the commander.

Love how obvious it was that she and Spock were hooking up--she's dressed up, he appears dramatically from behind the flowing white curtains in her frankly huge quarters.

The cloaking device looks suspiciously like Nomad again.

“How could you do this to me?” Girl, you’ve known him for an hour. Calm down the drama.

Also love the earrings.

That was a weak slap. She should have sent him sprawling with her Romulan strength. I guess her heart wasn’t in it.

Romulans are Vulcans but with unfiltered Drama.

I like her jellyfish chair.

Now Spock shall fillibuster his own death by reading a very long prepared statement.

She hears the phrase "historic tradition" and sighs like "this is gonna be the longest 20 minutes of my LIFE.”

Silly of Kirk to assume they wouldn't fire on the commander and/or that she wouldn't ORDER them to fire.

“Alien contraption.” Scotty enjoying himself.

Hmmm, the Commander was bragging to Spock off screen about the cloaking device--what else might she have said that we didn’t hear?

Mr. Spock will escort you to your quarters--more like Mr. Spock will escort you to HIS quarters amirite?

She would like his weaponry.

“Military secrets are the most fleeting of all.” Well that line didn’t have to go that hard.

“It was the only choice. You would not respect any other.” Where’s all the talk about loyalty and oaths now?

“They do not look aesthetically agreeable on humans.” Textual evidence for my theory that Vulcans, though humanoid, have some sort of indescribable Alien Aura quite apart from the eyebrows and ears.

That was such a good ending. Last major dialogue scene was a serious one between Spock and the Commander, but then there’s a little humorous coda, too--a good shot of Spock looking pensive, but also the peanut gallery having a little laugh.

I love that episode so much. I love how... difficult Spock is to read. On the one hand, I do think he was really attracted to the Romulan Commander. I also think he was hiding a lot of the truth about why he didn’t join the Romulans--I mean yes, that was never a real option and it would certainly be wildly out of character for him to do it. But he also talks exclusively about loyalty to Starfleet, his oath, his uniform, as if but for the happenstance of these things, if he were making a decision for himself instead of following his duty, he might prefer to be with her and the Romulans. But what about the obvious other factor--Kirk himself? What about “A starship runs on loyalty to one man, and no one can replace it--or him?” I feel like his connection to Kirk is like the unspoken undertone to all of this. Especially because, as Captain and XO, they were the only ones to know about this plan from the beginning, and probably came up with the details of it themselves. But we also know that Spock takes the mean things that Kirk says to heart, even if they’re only said as part of a mission or larger ploy. And we also know that he truly desires belonging, and that being part one thing and part another often makes him feel as if he belonged nowhere. But the Romulan Commander didn’t seem to care about his human heritage. She asked him what he was, and only mentioned the human part one other time, not in a negative way. I do see the temptation for him.

It’s also interesting that Kirk initially refers to the Commander as “he,” implying he didn’t know specifically who was in charge of the ship. That means that while he and Spock clearly planned for Spock to undermine and then “kill” Kirk, and almost certainly to play on Romulan/Vulcan cultural connections, they probably did not plan on Spock seducing anyone. He did that on his own.

This would reboot so well. Like, aside from the S/U aspects, it’s a perfect candidate: a spy narrative that has a little bit of the gray morality they’re so attached to; Kirk and Spock tension; Kirk being Dramatique; cool aliens--and it would have been very interesting to see this story play out in the context of the destruction of Vulcan. (More generally, I think completely forgetting about the Romulans after the first reboot film was a huge mistake but whatever.)

Mmmm, I just... I want to watch it again lol. D.C. Fontana was truly the queen of alien world building. That sense of alien-ness that I get in the Spock and Commander scenes is like what I’m going for in some of my own stuff.

#the year 2021 #2021: fandom thoughts #2021: star trek #star trek tos

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