#we do not get to the main conflict in this snippet but it’s cool

[cwritesfiction]

It's in the Cards: Chapter One Excerpt

(It's in the Cards is an adult rom-com with speculative elements. Please note: this is a draft and is subject to change!)

Elliott Beck was getting good at lying.

When it came to lies, the devil was in the details, and nothing taught them details like managing Betsey’s Metaphysical Boutique on Ocean Avenue. They lied about candles for rituals, which customers could learn by purchasing beautiful spellbooks. They lied about herbs and sigils and crystals, sometimes giving multiple explanations for the same item within a single shopping day. Of course they used the spell jars! In fact, they’d used one that week to cleanse their apartment of negative energy! They wouldn’t mention that the “negative energy” was actually the smell of stale weed from their downstairs neighbors, but that was fine. People who came to Betsey’s weren’t interested in reality, anyway.

In the back of the narrow shop, Elliott sat in the corner they’d designated specifically for tarot readings. For customers, they’d provided a sofa strategically covered with blankets to hide its concerning stains. For themself, they’d found a wooden chair that was gorgeous to look at and hell to sit on. It was far from the elaborate setup they’d originally envisioned, but Betsey had only given them so much space in the already-cramped shop. What she hadn’t given them was a budget.

But the furniture didn’t matter, because they could wow customers with their most beautiful set piece: themself. Presently, they wore a purple button down dotted with shimmering stars. Mismatched earrings, a gold sun and moon, dangled from their ears. God, they hated the earrings. Elliott’s fingers knocked into them whenever they re-tousled their chin-length shag of blond hair.

“I love your earrings,” their current customer said. She was dressed for the beach, a shoulder bag of towels sitting on the floor beside her flip-flopped feet. “And I love your cards! What a pretty color.”

“Thanks! We have plenty of decks for sale!” None like Elliott’s, though. They should’ve flaunted a deck from the shop, but instead, they used the Dungeons and Dragons themed deck they’d bought for themself as a housewarming gift. The backs of the cards were a shimmering purple, a twenty-sided die in the center of each. The faces featured items from the game—adventurers, monsters, weapons—illustrated similar to a Rider-Waite deck. When they’d tried to explain the references to Betsey, they’d ended up trapped in an hour-long lecture about the history of tarot art.

“I might look around later,” the woman said in a way that meant she wouldn’t. “I was supposed to meet my family at the beach, but of course, none of them showed up on time. I thought this would be a fun way to wait instead of cooking in the sun!”

Probably a smart idea, considering she was the same shade of pasty white as Elliott, who’d sometimes get burnt in the time it took them to walk from their car to the shop. They placed a hand on their tip jar, as if to say, please look at my tip jar. It was actually a tip mug shaped to look like a fat orange cat, the handle made from its black-striped tail. This particular cat’s name was Norman, the unofficial mascot of Garfield Beach who the locals called Not Garfield as a nod to the town’s not-copyright infringement. On Not Garfield’s round belly, Elliott had taped a small sign: Tips appreciated - ELLIOTT BECK, they/them, cash or Venmo!

They began to shuffle. “Is there anything specific you’d like me to consider when I read your cards?”

“Nope! You’re the expert!”

They were glad she thought so, considering they’d only just started offering tarot readings a few weeks ago. “Then for your three-card spread, the first card will reflect your past, the second, your present, and the third, your future.” At least, that was one technique they’d learned while watching tarot YouTube tutorials while cooking. They set the deck on the table and spread the cards in an arc.

The woman reached forward. “Do I pick?”

“No.” They weren’t eager to have people’s hands on their personal deck…or their personal anything for that matter. “I’ll do all the touching. So, let’s start with your past.”

They flipped a card: The Eight of Wands.

“Ah,” they said.

“What does it show?” the woman asked.

Elliott wasn’t sure, because for the life of them, they couldn't remember what the Eight of Wands meant. Usually, the illustrations helped them remember meanings, but this one looked like a bunch of ambiguous sticks. Taking a deep breath, Elliott bobbed their head, hoping they appeared lost in thought. They didn’t need to provide a perfect interpretation—tarot was less about memorization and more about helping people gain insight into their lives. That was the advice given by someone with an unrepeatable username on Reddit, and Elliott intended to follow it.

“Wands are good,” they remembered. “But…sometimes, you can have too much of a good thing. It looks like you’ve recently had a lot on your plate.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I did do a ton of laundry before leaving to come here.”

“And besides that?”

“Well, there were dishes too.”

Elliott nodded calmly, internally screaming.

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Bro, I just discorved your "Hands that hurt" fic and deadass read through it the whole night until I noticed it was already day 💀 like man did I srs love the conflict, and tension between Arthur Y/n! Tbh, I'm glad that I got in the right time for you to be writing the fic or rather rewriting it which im also excited for what new you could bring. That reminds that I do have some suggestions and maybe critique so I hope don't come off rude.

1. I would LOVE to see more about Y/N and Arthur's relationship from when they were young, especially with meeting John and the others thought out the years. It doesn't need to be completely the whole past event but perhaps important ones like the whole Mary and Arthur drama, Y/n going through how she feels about Arthur, and even Eliza and Issac event. This would not only would make us to get better eye to how Arthur and Y/n went from X to Y but feel us even more sad for Y/N who wanted to be with Arthur but couldn't. Although I know that would crave more creative for you to bear on how to write these events so dont stress yourself about it if you can't.

2. It would be cool if we could explore more about Y/N, especially with her wants, motive, belief and even more flaws that stand her out. I already love Y/N as she is though, I think the mildly annoying thing I had with her is how passive she is sometimes. MC don't need to be always active but seeing how she can only nod, agree or disagree, and not say anything. Now I know that Y/N is reader insert so I can understand why she is like this, but having her to talk up on others flaws when nobody can't, being a leader when she don't notice, showing us more how she struggle being the only women in man work where she is daily discriminated by other men and high society women. I could go on about that but it would be very long so.

I think that's it for what I can think of but I just want to say that I really love your story and looking forward more in the future hopefully! I clearly care about fanfic writers on wanting to improve to be better since I believe that even a fanfic can change a person's life better! Your fanfic don't need to be that of course, as long you have a good character with good development and everything else then your good!

Anon, you don’t know how happy it is to see that someone is still reading Hands That Hurt. I’m incredibly touched and honestly almost feel like crying lol

I appreciate your feedback and luckily since I was planning on rewriting the entire thing, I will most likely end up changing some of the stuff you talked about. I will end up making a post on the actual story to announce it will be rewritten and with the intended changes I want to make

This was my first actual real attempt at writing a fanfiction that had multiple chapters so there will be a lot of things and mistakes that I wish weren’t in there lol

1. I did end up wanting to do more with them as younger but it just never panned out to being like that, however I do believe now that I’ve had time to sit on it and time to overlook what I’ve written I might try to add small little snippets in there unless it fucks with the pacing

2. The reader, or “Y/n” (this might change) since it follows the main storyline of the game pretty closely wasn’t supposed to technically be the main character, you were supposed to be an onlooker to the story that unfolds in mind which was just a thing I was trying to experiment with however now that you’ve pointed it out I do understand where you’re coming from and will most likely change that as well. I kept the reader mostly a blank slate because it is a reader insert and I didn’t want to end up making it an OC when it’s not supposed to be, so that’s why it mainly feels like you are passive in the story.

I’ve learned more through writing other fics that it’s okay to give a little something more to the reader insert since it is interactive fiction and that’s just how it is.

Anyway! I just wanted to acknowledge your points but thank you so much for letting me know you read the story and enjoyed it. I hope to get into rewriting it (and finishing it) soon

[starfellwish]

ML Theory: Episode 22, Finale, Ladynoir, and Everything Else

This will have rocketear and finale synopsis spoilers - be warned.

I genuinely do think that the two part finale of season 4, "The Last Attack of Shadowmoth" (which is,,, a title to say the least; more on that in a bit) is gonna be so tense for a variety of reasons.

Rocketear Analysis

We have a couple of gamechanger episodes coming up. Rocketear definitely was a gamechanger as Adrien was able to realize that Alya and Nino are aware of each other's identities with Ladybug giving them permission. And he's angry about it. He knows that Ladybug lied to him about the rules, and he also knows that her being the guardian is definitely something that has led to their relationship being affected (flashbacks to a previous s4 ep when he's like it's cool if she's the guardian, as long as their partnership isn't affected - well that was some foreshadowing, wasn't it?). Honestly, seeing that as Marinette makes all the rules now as guardian, her decisions should be able to include her knowing Chat's identity. But. Chat Blanc exists, and I think that her not telling him about it and hiding it from him is a parallel to how she wanted Alya to hide the truth from Nino (obviously this failed too - Alya went behind her back to tell Nino the truth). She knows that he'd understand if she told him and its better to tell him that he may destroy everything if they knew each other's identities than left him feeling isolated and alone and at risk for literally getting akumatized. By isolating him, she's quite literally putting the world at risk for Chat Blanc 2.0, rather than her telling him something heartbreaking and being there for him so he doesn't get hurt by Shadow Moth's intentions. I think that she'll come to realize this in the finale and learn from her mistakes.

I think that in this screenshot, we got a snippet of foreshadowing of what's to come:

I saw some people theorize that this is foreshadowing that Adrien's real identity is between Ladynoir, and while this could be general foreshadowing for the entirety of the show (Marinette is in love with Adrien, and that's why she can't love Chat Noir), I do think that interpretation could be misplaced here due to the tone of the episode. Instead, I believe that this is foreshadowing that Chat may reveal himself to Ladybug. After all, she literally knows the identity of literally every other person who has a miraculous, and is the guardian.

*Side note: It also reminds me a lot of Felix. Could be a reference to that? Not sure what my thoughts on that being, but it's just somehting that struck me.

Episode 22

In my mind, it would make most sense for Adrien to reveal himself in episode 22. We've been told by the people who make the show that since episode 22 is the 100th episode of the show overall, it will be incredibly serious. This episode may run the highest risk of Adrien being akumatized into Chat Blanc again, as tensions are definitely running high. However, another akumatization event could happen, and Chat could be left out again, making him angry. I think that him getting akumatized is more likely, however. This is because of his appearance in Sentibubbler - I think that's foreshadowing. After everything is taken care of, Chat Noir and Ladybug will get into an argument. Chat will tell Ladybug that he knows about Alya and Nino, and that he thinks she's a hypocrite. He was loyal to her, and now he's having his doubts about their partnership, because he doesn't even think its a partnership anymore. Ladybug is the guardian and has more secrets that she is keeping from him. She talks about Chat Blanc and tells him that him finding out her identity leads to basically the end of the world. Adrien is surprised that he was akumatized before. He then gets mad at her for literally hiding this from him when they could've taken precautions beforehand, and then could possibly assert that he doesn't know what else she's hiding from him. He also, at the same time, doesn't feel like he should be Chat Noir anymore if he poses that much of a risk to the world. He detransforms in front of her and gives her the miraculous. He tells her he won't be a problem again, and leaves.

Finale

Ladybug, of course, realizes her mistake and tries to get him back. However, over the course of 23 and 24, she is caught up with Alya and Nino's problems with them not hiding their secrets. Adrien is already scheduled to leave Paris for a couple of weeks with Lila, and Ladybug trying to persuade him to stay is basically one of the main conflicts of the final episode. Pair this with "ShadowMoth's Last Attack" and you've got a season finale. I think the name of the season finale, is, as always, a misdirect. There's no way Gabriel is getting all his miraculous taken away until season 5, as that's when the full reveal happens, so it seems like he'll return to just regular old Hawkie. I don't think it would make sense for him to be disarmed now and for next season's finale to have the full reveal. Here's the synopsis below so we can dissect it.

Shadowmoth's Last Attack

Having understood that if Ladybug always triumphs, it's thanks to her prudence, Papillombre (Shadow Moth) conceives a diabolical plan around a super villain endowed with the power to push his victims to take all risks. When Marinette learns that Adrien must leave Paris for several weeks with Lila, new muse of the Agreste brand, she is ready to do she is ready to do anything to stop him. How far will she go? Even to the fatal risk of betraying her secret identity for love? And will Adrien take the risk to finally stand up to his father?

Okay, so let's dissect this. What I said before adds up to Adrien leaving with Lila. It would also explain why Marinette would potentially reveal herself to Adrien, if only to get him to stay. Because she knows that he's Chat, and maybe her being Marinette will somehow influence his decision. Or, it may show him that she's finally willing to trust him with everything.

It could also allude back to the song in the movie. Since the Miraculous movie was originally intended to act as a finale to Season 5, we can take things from early development and see if they end up fitting in the narrative. In this situation I'm going to quote "Ce mur qui nous separe" (English translation: The Wall Between Us), the French song that was made for the movie when it was intended to be the Season 5 finale.

It’s strong when I see him I want to scream on the rooftops our love that reaches out to us But I know that I can’t It’s not the right moment We have to be patient be patient

Here's the French translation in case the translation Genius gave me was wrong:

C’est fort quand je le vois Je veux crier sur tous les toits Notre amour qui nous tend les bras Mais je sais que je ne dois pas Ce n’est pas le moment Il faut être patients Être patients

This part of the song is from Marinette's perspective, and the fact that she's saying that she has to wait for the right moment to actually be in love with him probably means that she knows Adrien's identity. Because why would she "know" that she can't love him? Why is it not the right moment? Why do they have to be patient? Her being Ladybug and being unable to be in a relationship may explain why it's not the right moment, but the fact that she says "our" love points me in another direction. She knows she loves Adrien, and she knows that Chat, and therefore, Adrien, loves her. But she can't tell him her identity yet. However, her knowing his identity would make sense. I remember that before season 4 started airing, a lot of the fandom wondered if Chat was going to have to reveal his identity to her because she's the guardian. After all, that would make sense. Them making it a problem over the course of the season would mean that it would have to be handled in some way. I think that her finding out Chat's identity is probably the most logical course of action, as she can't be a good guardian until she has all the information at her disposal.

There are two specific lines which I find interesting in the finale synopsis. The part where it says, "Papillombre (Shadow Moth) conceives a diabolical plan around a super villain endowed with the power to push his victims to take all risks," is particularly interesting. This could mean a couple of things. Shadow Moth could be akumatizing Felix - after all, he stopped at nothing to try and replace Adrien in order to ruin his relationship with his friends. He kissed Ladybug when she told him no. He was snooping in Adrien's things. Clearly, there was nothing he wasn't willing to do in order to get the ring back. (This whole thing is never explained either after Felix - why is the ring so important?) Maybe that will make a comeback? Or, the "his" in the synopsis where it specifies that the villain has no limits, may be referring to Shadowmoth. In that situation, it could be Lila who is again akumatized. She has clearly no limits, as she's working for Shadow Moth willingly, and likely knows his identity. This is one likely scenario. Or Shadowmoth will akumatize Adrien. He may feel detached, and Gabriel will interpret it as being sad that he's being taken away from all of his friends. Adrien is known for being quite stubborn, and having Ladybug fight Adrien's akumatized state would be season finale material. However, if he is akumatized in the finale as something else, then the Chat Blanc akumatization in episode 22 is unlikely (they wouldn't do something like that twice in a row). Of course, his akumatized state would be different than Chat Blanc because people can be akumatized into multiple different villains and Hawkie doesn't know that Adrien=Chat Noir.

The second line that I find particularly interesting is this one:

And will Adrien take the risk to finally stand up to his father?

Now, why would Adrien stand up to his father? Maybe with literally everyone betraying him, he'll find no reason to stay. He needs a constant in his life, and telling his father that he needs him to be here for him may be a step that he makes. After all, Ladybug and him are having their biggest fight, his best friend Nino told him that he finds his hero persona absolutely abhorrent, and he doesn't feel like he has a place on the superhero team. He needs someone, and he's hoping that Gabriel can be that person.

That could be one scenario, or Adrien may find out about Hawkie's basement. Now, this, could raise a lot of questions for him. While I believe that Adrien would have the normal tendency to be like "father, what the hell." He may honestly believe that this is all he has left, and therefore, will assist his father. This takes me back to the season 2 opening card.

Where is Chat Noir? With the villains.

Maybe Adrien will have his well deserved Dark!Chat Noir arc. Or maybe, he'll be a spy for the Quantic team. Ladybug and him will make up, and he'll tell her that he can spy on Hawkie for the team, and that's how they move into season 5 - with Adrien as a double agent. He will help his father in everything that he does, and therefore, get access to more information that he can share with the team. He can help establish a meeting for Hawk Moth to get caught, with evidence, by planting cameras, calling police, etc.

Honestly, I'm hoping for the latter subplot, as I don't want Chat Noir to go evil for everyone's sakes. I do think that the latter would also give him a cementable role that would logistically make sense and help establish him as an strong character, and more importantly, a valuable member of the team and Ladybug's true partner.

Or, they could go down the more simpler route, and choose Adrien to find out, be shocked, and then yell at his father for being who he is. Gabriel just assumes because Adrien is only just Adrien, he doesn't have to worry about him. He will threaten Adrien, and Adrien will stay silent in front of him, but tell the team on the side. Of course, this doesn't really mean double agent Adrien, but it still implies spy Adrien. It also still manages to make his character more relevant.

Regardless, there's a lot of different ways that line could go, and I'm excited to see where it moves on from there.

Implications on the Love Square

The love square seems entirely messed up this season. There is almost nothing going on in relation to it, especially in regards to Ladynoir, Ladrien, and Marichat. Adrienette has honestly the most action right now, especially with the reverse umbrella scene, them helping out Juleka together, etc. This leads me to think that while we'll get a lot of Ladynoir in the finale as they repair their relationship, Adrienette may be the strongest ship of the four when moving into season 5. Let me explain why.

Over the course of this entire season, Adrien has been getting closer to Marinette, and is honestly more warm with her than he has been with Ladybug. This can explain what everyone has been thinking - a reverse love square. Even if Ladybug and him make up, Chat may honestly want to go and see other people. This includes Mari. What Nino said about Ladybug finding him annoying may actually really affect him and his feelings and make him realize that he can find love elsewhere. It's also the fact that it was enunciated twice during Rocketear that Alya couldn't fall in love with someone that she didn't really know. That could lead Adrien to wonder if he really knows Ladybug, which will definitely complicate his feelings. The Kagami thing was never going to work out, so he just needs to find someone else who cares for him. He knows Marinette; he has called her similar to Ladybug - he may rebound from Ladybug to Marinette. Ladybug may realize that she messed up, and she has already shown that she is becoming more indifferent to dating Adrien, due to what happened with Luka. When she and Chat Noir fix their relationship, she may see him as the only person she doesn't have to lie to, and therefore thinks about pursuing a relationship with him. Therefore, a reverse love square would make the most sense in this situation.

If a ship were to start actually dating in season 5 - it may honestly depend on how the finale is. The two most likely ships imo are either Ladynoir or Adrienette. If Ladynoir makes up during the finale, then the barriers to them dating aren't really present, unless the Alya thing actually makes it complicated for them. Adrienette may get together, but Marinette is wary of dating because she's Ladybug. However, we all know she's weak in the knees for Adrien and will definitely say yes if he asked her out.

Therefore, I feel like this season is leaning more towards plot and character development, and while it may set some things up for season 5, it is important to pay attention at the little shifts in the square, because they are happening right in front of us.

Alya and Marinette

I wanted to be able to talk about this at some point in this theory, but since everything else is more Adrien centric, I added it here at the end. Okay, so we know that Alya is lying to Marinette about telling Nino things. We also know that Alya has bended the rules for Nino multiple times, both before and during Rocketear. This could go one of two ways: Alya telling Nino teaches Marinette that she needs to be able to trust Chat, and therefore helps her realize that she doesn't need to be so secretive and lie all the time. It could also lead to a plot where Alya basically messed up largely by telling Nino, and everything goes downhill from there. Ladybug shows Chat that they can't know each other's identities because of what happened with them. We also Nino is a bit of a blabbermouth - love his character, but he is. He told Adrien not only his identity, but also Alya's. He also told him that they know the other's identity. This is bad, and Adrien knowing definitely affects the plot later on. If Adrien ends up revealing himself to Ladybug, it is likely that she'll find out about Nino saying that, and having to revoke their kwamis. This could lead to a strained relationship with Alya. In fact, it is likely that at this point, Marinette will already have a strained relationship with Alya, as it could be revealed that Alya told Nino about Rena Furtive. This could lead to Ladybug being defensive and worried that she made mistakes, and literally just closing the Miraculous box because of it. Maybe Alya will go rogue? After all, it was mentioned in Rocketear (and I appreciate that they talked about this) how Alya was a reporter and that by extension means that her personality is one of a truthteller. Alya getting angry at Mari could definitely lead to a situation where she threatens to tell he everyone. I don't think Alya would or could do that, but anger leads to akumatization, and an akumatized Alya would not be good for anyone as her judgement would be impaired. Regardless, Rena Furtive may be a short time hero, and Mari and Alya may end the season in a fight. I don't see that being resolved in the finale, as no fight like that is mentioned in those episodes. There is also simply too much going on in the finale for it to make sense. It may be resolved later on, just like how other problems in season 3 started being solved in the beginning of season 4. Or, it could be fought out and resolved in episodes 23 and 24.

Therefore, I think that the Nino carelessly revealing his identity and Alya carelessly disregarding Ladybug's orders may lead to a plotpoint at some point where Alya and Ladybug fight. While I do think that it would be nice if Alya proved Ladybug wrong and showed that they were stronger for working together, I do not think it's likely. The show was deliberate in showing that Alya had a weakness for Nino, and has shown before that it has led to many situations where there were risks for everyone involved. Even Hawkmoth said that love and secrets don't go well together (is he talking from experience?), and I feel like that was so deliberate, but it could also be alluding to Chat and Ladybug. (Side note: it was so weird for Hawk Moth to say that, as he had no idea of the situation; regardless I do think this it's heavy foreshadowing.) Therefore, I do not think the situation that Alya has placed herself in is a situation which will have a peaceful ending.

Final Notes:

I personally cannot wait for the "Gabriel Agreste" episode. I think that the fact that we did not get it yet means that it has serious story implications. Personally, I believe it's going to explain allllll the backstory we need for the whole Bourgeois/Tsurugi/Agreste history and tell us why Emilie is the way she is right now. Of course, maybe it won't do everything, but the fact that it is named after Gabriel makes me wonder if it'll be his origins episode of sorts.

EDIT AFTER MEGA LEECH: IF GABRIEL AGRESTE REVEALS ADRIEN TO BE A SENTIMONSTER I WILL BE SO SO EXCITED BC ANGST BUT ALSO LIKE??? WHAT ABOUT THE PLOT? WHAT ABOUT THE NINE YEAR OLDS?

Chat snapping is honestly something that I cannot wait for. All of his anger has been building up over the entire season thus far, and the implications of his feelings are definitely serious for the show's plot.

I wonder if Mayura will be making a comeback at some point. While this is less relevant, Nathalie's health seems to be making her bedridden for a long time. Maybe she'll return to a similar state to Emilie? I saw theories that stated that if Hawkie gets his wish, Nathalie's life may be sacrificed for Emilie's, and idk, I think it's not likely that it'll happen, but it would be cool if it did. The ultimate payback for his actions being the loss of Nathalie.

Look at the end card of Rocketear:

He's looking at the moon, which was shown in New York to be something he does when he's sad. Also possible reference to him destroying the moon in Chat Blanc.

Kitty do be on a roof all alone without his lady :(

[seodami]

Dearest treasure | KTH

|PART 1| |PART 2| |PART 3|

Summary: Every kid in town was afraid of Kang Taehyun, the old -slightly creepy- man living alone for years and years in the same run down house. Every night he would go into his backyard with a shovel and dig a hole into the earth. No one knows why and there are kids rumouring about him burying people. Jungwon was a bright kid, wanting to find out the truth behind this widely spread rumour for a school project. And what he found out would change his life forever.

Genre: fluff, angst, flashbacks, story of life, snippets of life, tiny bit humour

Warning: old Taehyun, mention of death, mention of suicide/suicidal thoughts, death

Word count: 10152 (all 3 parts together)

Pairing: Kang Taehyun x reader, (Yang Jungwon)

Note: Wow okay so this story took me a while to write and I listened to hours of das music to finish this🥺 this was honestly an emotional rollercoaster. But I’m so glad it’s finally finished so I can post it on here yayyy!!! I hope you like it an enjoooyy (please tell me if you cried I would really appreciate your responses haha bc I did)

Main Masterlist

2089 (present)

Jungwon took a glance down towards the camera clasped tightly in the palm of his hand. With a heavy breath, his eyes slowly moved up to the big house in front of him. Former white paint - now a dirty grey almost everywhere - was already peeling itself from the walls, dozens of thick ivy tendrils sneaking up to the dirty windows and even further. It looked just like the old spooky houses, Jungwon had secretly seen in horror movies his parents were watching. And it especially felt like it as well.

The cold wind was slowly whirling around the dead leaves on the ground, freeing the view to numerous mounds of earth spreading over the whole front yard and probably even backyard. Some were fresher than the others. Some were older than the others.

Jungwon could feel a wave of goosebumps hushing over his body, clearly not only being the cold winds fault. With one last reassuring nod to himself, he courageously made its way over the small path through the chaotic front yard towards the old wooden front door.

It had terrified him when he was a bit younger to even lay eyes on this house, let alone go any near it, and quite truthfully, Jungwon still felt a tiny wave of fear coming through. He had heard many things around this neighbourhood and school...creepy theories as to why the old man living inside this house was seen digging holes in his garden. From murder to even paranormal activities, everything was possible, referring one of the older kids at school, Park Jongseong, who tended to love scaring innocent young students with these stories. And he even heard parents trying to discipline their children, threatening them to pay ‘Killer Kang’ - that was the old man’s unfortunate nickname - a small visit if they did not behave. It was as if this small town didn’t have anything else to talk about than a lonely, slightly creepy, man. And if he remembered correctly, he never saw or heard anyone even trying to talk to him. So what did they know?

Jungwon heard a lot. To say the least, he questioned himself quietly if he should have just chosen another topic for his video and interview for a school project. He could have. But something deep down told him quietly not to judge too quickly, not to judge a book only by it’s cover. His parents and his grandmother taught him that early on and it stayed with him ever since. He wanted to give this poor scrutinised man a chance to actually explain himself. Why was he always digging these holes into the ground? Maybe he really was a serial killer and this would be Jungwons biggest mistake, but where’s the fun in not even trying? Right? He could only lose, well...his life...

The 14 year old boy quickly shook his head, trying to stay positive. And then he finally pressed the rusty bell on the side of the door. He heard nothing at first, it was as quiet as it could get, no steps, no talking, no TV. The eerie feeling hanging in the air didn’t make it any better for Jungwon to stay calm and not giddy. “You can do this! He’s not even creepy.” He tried to hype himself up.

He almost wanted to ring again, as his heart sunk. Damp slow steps were coming closer and closer, making him hold his breath unconsciously. The door opened in an awful slow motion, revealing the old man everyone was afraid of. White hair framed his sunken in face full of deep wrinkles. He used a walking stick to stand, his position was crouched forward, so he was about the same height as him, maybe even a bit smaller. And when Jungwon met his eyes, there was a glint in them, that almost scared him off like all the other kids would have. But he stayed put.

The man didn’t say anything, just stared at him, awaiting him to explain this very unusual visit. Nobody had ever dared to ring his house. Not even the mailman thought of doing so.

“Good Morning Mr Kang. Uhm ...I am Yang Jungwon.” The young boy began with slightly unstable voice, trying to get a hold of himself. “I am a student at Namgang Highschool and we are currently doing individual video projects containing an interview with someone we find fascinating and want to learn more about. And...I was wondering if...if maybe it would be possible to...interview you?” Jungwon managed to squeak out, hiding his trembling hands from Mr. Kangs boring hawk eyes.

He still hadn’t said anything, looking up and down the underaged student. Then his eyes met his shaky ones again. “Is this a joke again, boy? Because I have no tolerance for silly boy pranks.” He finally muttered out in a harsh tone, letting Jungwon flinch the slightest. He quickly shook his head, implying that this was his last wish to do.

“No sir, no I swear this is a very serious question and project. I wouldn’t dare to do anything but.” The boy rambled, now fiddling nervously with the hem of his uniform jacket. The man pulled his glasses somewhat higher on his nose before he gave the student a hesitant nod.

“You are the first person for years daring to come talk to me...” he noted absent minded, eyes wandering behind the boy to check if there really weren’t any stupid kids hiding inside the bushes. “How...extraordinary.” He muttered, clinging onto his walking stick as he began turning around.

“You said fascinating people, boy? I have to disappoint you, there is nothing interesting about me, I dare say.” A small sigh left his mouth, beginning to close his door slowly but Jungwon was quicker. What had gotten into him? Was it the surprise at his not so cold attire or maybe has he just gone crazy? But Jungwon wanted to know more about his story. There had to be more.

“Sir, no please. You may think so but quite frankly you are the talk of town every day.” Jungwon began but got stopped hearing the other one scoffing displeased. “Killer Kang...I know this nickname they all give me. Do you use it too? I don’t want to have anything to do with people like this.” His tone got harsher again.

Jungwon frantically shook his head again. “I don’t. I would never. This is the reason why I chose to interview you in the first place. I want to hear your part about everything. I think it is only fair to give you a proper chance to explain. They just don’t know.” He gave the man a pleading look. Mr. Kang hesitated again, letting the boys words sink in. He didn’t seem like he could harm a fly, he thought. Was is worth the struggle?

He didn’t know what or why he was doing it but the next thing Jungwon saw was him walking slowly into the house again, leaving the door open. Should he follow? A quick look over his shoulder told him he should. Jungwon couldn’t believe he really meant it so he still stood unsure, fiddling with the silver camera in his hands, metal cooling against his sweaty palms. “Are you coming, or what?” The now softer voice of the white haired man asked still trotting forward in a steady pace.

This woke Jungwon immediately out of his trance, stumbling clumsily stuttering and rambling while thanking him over and over again. He had made it.

He entered the dark hallway, suddenly being hit with a strong smell of a typical musty grandparents house. It remembered him of his own grandmother’s one, where he spent almost half of his childhood. With one swift movement, he gently shut the door and followed the tracks of this houses owner without forgetting to put his shoes off. There were some stacks of newspaper laying around randomly, old picture frames hanging on some of the white and dark green walls and old brown rugs adorning the cold floor. He noticed a small picture of a young lady in a baby blue dress, sitting on a self built swing while smiling ear to ear. But he quickly moved on. It was as every other old people’s home, Jungwon thought.

“Boy, say, do you want a cup of tea? Or water?” The young student heard the now calm voice asking him, seeing as they arrived in the living room. An antique looking glass chandelier was hanging right in the middle, brown couches placed generously inside the big room. Jungwon was surprised. He expected to shake with pure fear in his veins, but why did it feel like he was just visiting his grandparents? A friendly visit. That was the first moment he knew he misjudged the famously feared old man.

“No thank you. I was wondering if I could maybe...film the whole thing? The interview? I prepared some questions already if that is fine with you.” Jungwon timidly pulled out the camera behind his back and soon enough some pieces of paper. There was a moment of silence, Mr. Kang just looking speechlessly at the innocent and oh so polite brown haired boy. His heart already told him, despite his inner conflicts, that he was a nice boy. A really well-behaved kid. He could tell him, he could understand, and maybe even help. At least that was his hope.

“You are really something else. Jungho was your name?” With small steps he wandered to one of the couches, plopping down painfully slow with a nasty crack of his bones into an already deep hollow on the couch. Just like his grandparents. Jungwon by now was really overwhelmed by the mans compliance and...kindness?

“It’s Jungwon, Mr. Kang.” He added, earning an understanding nod from his side, followed by a motion of his hand for him to sit down. “Of course, of course. You can set up the camera on the table if you have to. It was a long time ago since...anyone filmed me.”

It didn’t took long for the eager student to put his camera on the table in a good angle. His script was already sprawled all across his lap and with nervous looks in between, he asked the man if he was ready to begin the interview. Jungwon was aching to know the truth behind the misunderstood lonely person in front of him. He finally wanted to clear the unpleasant rumours about him, wanting to know what really was behind his actions.

“Ready, boy.”

Jungwon clicked the red recording button on his camera, sitting down on the couch behind it. And he did not waste any time to start.

“My first question for you Mr Kang, has to do with your widely spreaded nickname. As you told me earlier, you were already aware of such name. What do you think about it?”

It was the second time, he heard him scoff in annoyance. “It’s ridiculous what people tend to gossip behind someone’s back when they are bored. Whoever believes these ignorant, mindless comments should go to school again and get educated. This nickname... ‘Killer Kang’ -“ he stopped to caugh out loudly, repositioning himself more comfortable in his seat before continuing to talk. “ - holds absolute no truth in it. I can’t seem to think why somebody even invented it.”

Jungwon immediately nodded in agreement, earning a small nod from the man himself. “That was exactly my point. It looked almost like people just invented some crazy untrue theories when they cannot seem to understand a certain...action.” He tried to find the right words. “It’s probably nothing new to hear, but people around this town, I think they came up with this name solely to...to find an explanation as to why...the holes...I mean you digging them with a shovel in your garden...is that...” he lost his voice in the end of his sentence, not wanting to say any wrong words.

But Mr. Kang just nodded, looking out of the window with a distant look. He suck in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “It’s probably not the answer you or all the people would like to hear. All the foolish theories. It’s something far more...simple.” He looked over to Jungwon, soft eyes under the thick crease above them. He was ready to tell someone. Just anyone. He longed for a conversation for too long, maybe that is why he agreed in the first place.

He was so lonely.

“Let me tell you my story right from the beginning. I hope you do have some time, boy, it might be a longer story.”

And then he began to tell his story. Your story.

[daisylincs]

It's time to see what I can do! To test the limits and break through// no right no wrong no rules for meee// I'm freeeeeeeeee (and i was glad lincoln died)

*silence*

*utter, shocked silence*

Well, Birdie, I only have one thing to say to you --

Why Lincoln Campbell Shouldn't Have Died: A Small Essay By Lily [Redacted]

#1. It’s Lazy. There was all this fuss about how “heart-breaking” Lincoln’s death was, and how it was the most shocking choice, and I’m just like... really? Was it? Because frustrating as it is to me, it’s true that Lincoln didn’t have any significant relationships on the show aside from his with Daisy, and he also didn’t have the time/the writers didn’t invest the time to make him a character the audience could become really close to. 

And I don’t see how that’s a shocking choice at all? That’s just taking the easy way out of things. If they had really wanted to make a heart-breaking death, it would have been so much worse to choose literally anyone of the OG team.

Or, heaven forbid, not to make anyone die at all!! (Yes, I hate the Fallen Agent arc. Yes, that’s a conversation for another day.) But think about it: it would have been way more original, way more shocking, to have Lincoln not die, or find a super original/Fitzsimmons-esque way to get past the vision. It could’ve been way more shocking and ultimately satisfying if the whole team had worked together to avoid someone dying, and succeeded in avoiding that. It would have made excellent bonding.

And it wouldn’t have been lazy, because Lincoln staying alive would force him and Daisy to have some tough conversations, i.e. Hive and SHIELD and what’s next. It would also have meant an equal amount of tricky conversations with the rest of the team - especially surrounding the whole Hive debacle and methods used during it (*coughs in murder vests*). It would’ve actually been much harder than just having Lincoln die... and isn’t that what good storytelling is supposed to do? Make the harder choice for an ultimately far more satisfying resolution? 

Because choosing Lincoln to die makes it feel like that was his only purpose on the show, and I can’t help but rage against that. I know that’s how a lot of people actually do see Lincoln, and it just makes me so furious, because that’s actually such a disservice to his character?? He was so much more than just Daisy’s doomed boyfriend, and he could have been even more. Which brings me to my next point - 

#2. Wasted Opportunities. I’ll always believe that one of the biggest missed opportunities on the show was that we never got to see Lincoln properly bond with anyone on the team - it was like the writers started, but then decided he was going to die, and then went all, oh, RIP that. Which, honestly, is stupid - because they created this amazing character that had so much potential, and then decided to drop it just like that. 

And I mean, dammit!! Aside from Daisy, Lincoln had prime opportunities to bond with at least five other characters on the team - May, Coulson, Jemma, Fitz, and Mack, and that’s not even starting on the other Secret Warriors. 

He had a little bit of bonding with May when Lash/Andrew was still a thing - but then, whoops-a-daisy, unequivocally dropped. And like... Lincoln and May could’ve been such a good friendship?? Imagine May initially terrifying the living daylights out of Lincoln, but slowly seeing that he’s not actually that different to Daisy, and he makes her happy? And maybe inviting him to t’ai chi with her, to help control her powers? And him in turn helping give her some closure over Katya Belyakov/telling her that she really did make the only choice? They could’ve developed a mother/son bond just as beautiful as Daisy’s, if AoS had only tried. 

Then there’s Coulson. Daisy’s (basically) dad. We got to see a little bit of this, especially in the 3x14-15 era, but I would have loved to see even more of Coulson not-so-subtly threatening Lincoln, but grudgingly coming to accept him as a good agent (and, though he’d never admit it, kinda liking the guy.) Ugh, it could have been so funny and GOOD!!

Fitz and Jemma, to do them in a package deal, could also have been a GREAT BroTP with Lincoln if they had only actually developed it. I would have loved to see a) FitzSimmons initially distrusting Lincoln and being like “if you hurt Daisy...” and then eventually growing to bond with him over science and, well, adoring Daisy, b) a Lincoln-and-Simmons-specific friendship starting after Maveth, for example, Jemma can’t really be around her friends because they keep pitying her and trying to help and she doesn’t want that, so here’s someone new who’s nice and can also distract her with a common interest, and finally c) Lincoln and Fitz bonding over, oh, Daisy, and being ridiculously in love. Just. C’mon. It could’ve been WONDERFUL - and, just think about it, the picture of a Fitzsimmons-and-Lincoln triple alliance out-science-ing Daisy. FAB.

And Mack!! Someone who’s basically Daisy’s older brother, and, I do believe, another one for the Don’t-Hurt-Daisy pile. But Mack’s also very just, and an excellent judge of character, plus he was literally listening in on their first kiss, lmfao. So I think he’d be that “ugh AGAIN you two stop *eye roll*” big brother, but secretly be very happy for them. (I would’ve LOVED to see it, ahhhh.)

Then, of course, the Secret Warriors!! If anyone would listen, I could R A G E for days about how we only had one episode with the Secret Warriors, and that only barely before it all blew apart. But what snippets we had in that one episode!! Lincoln comforting Joey when he gets stressed before a mission. That’s canon. Now imagine Lincoln learning Spanish for both him and Elena (and so the three of them can fuck with Daisy.) And him encouraging them to follow Spanish traditions, because he picked up a lot of “traditions are important” culture from Afterlife. And, of course, them all going to Pride together to support Joey...

My point is just, there is so much MORE AoS could have done with Lincoln’s character, but especially his bonds with the other main cast. Instead of highlighting his relationship with Daisy, I would’ve preferred a lot more focus on his bonds with the rest of the gang. Because, most simply put, he’s a nice guy and loves Daisy - but that’s not all he is, and also, that love for Daisy would mean he WOULD go out of his way to bond with her family. (Point made.)

#3. It Conflicts With The S5 Time Paradox. During the Fallen Agent arc, all we’re hearing about is how time is fixed, and a death is inevitable. And then in season 5, we have the same thing with the time loop... except, they manage to break it then. We’re literally told, “there are many different futures.” And, cool. But, uh... that’s exactly what you guys didn’t say in season 3!!

Because someone saw a death, a death had to happen. My question is just: if the loop could have been broken in s5, why couldn’t the death have been avoided in s3?? It wouldn’t even have been that hard to make it still fit with the vision - Daisy can quake the controls to destroy them, then Lincoln pulls her out of the quinjet, but she leaves the jacket behind. Hive dies, but no-one else - and the best part is, that even still fulfils the original vision, because someone did die. Hive. Click boom.

And if I can figure that out, then, come on, surely AoS could have done so much better!! It just... really frustrates me, hrrrg.

#4. It Becomes A Plot Point To Hurt Daisy. We all like to joke about how much AoS hurts Daisy, but... this is extreme?? Like?? She only just went through probably the biggest trauma of her life, being freaking possessed, and now you want to make her lose someone she loves too? Cruel. 

The only real reason the Fallen Agent arc ever existed was, let’s be real, to force Daisy into that spiral of hurt and depression. And, like... she already had more than enough trauma just from Hive. Nobody would have blamed her for running away then - in fact, how very Daisy it would have been, leaving before she could hurt anyone else she loved.

And then, of course, we could have had Lincoln and the team working together to find her and bring her back, and, heyo, bonding!! It could also have been such a good point for Staticquake’s relationship, what with Lincoln helping Daisy recover after depression/withdrawal, because who better suited, and Daisy slowly forgiving herself and them becoming that much more of a deeply caring, solid ship.

So in short - though, 🙈🙈🙈, I suppose I should really say in long, because it would seem I am incapable of doing anything in a short fashion - I don't think anyone should be "glad" about Lincoln's death. If anything, we should all be FURIOUS, and super frustrated, because if he had only lived, there could have been so many excellent storylines, both bonding-wise and regarding THE ACTUAL PLOT (his powers could have been SO HELPFUL, just, argh). Lincoln Campbell should not have died, and I will stand by that till the day I die.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[notbang]

Oh i am very interested in knowing how you think the show messed up Nathaniel's characterization / development ? Thanks for your presence, i miss the show !

my main criticism is that s2 nathaniel is so vastly different to s3 and s4 nathaniel in a way that doesn’t feel like character development so much as inconsistent writing, and i tend to be bitter about this because i find s2 nathaniel the more interesting iteration.

i don’t think the writers room had a shared understanding of his character - for example, how rich is nathaniel? his apartment doesn’t have a kitchen is sleek and nice but relatively small. he drinks in the daytime at a kids baseball establishment wearing sweat pants, is confused by ‘middle class’ games nights, and apparently also attends royal weddings and hunts ducks in his spare time. whether they want to paint him as a relatable everyman, well-to-do, old-money lawyer or some kind of out of touch millionaire oscillates willy-nilly between episodes.

probably the most glaring fumble to me is his descent into petulance and rudeness in s4. if you look at s2 nathaniel, his whole deal is business and maintaining a perfect outward appearance. even though he’s threatening to fire everybody in 2x09, once rebecca secures the money, he lets the issue go true to his word. he’s not firing people to be an asshole, he’s firing people because Business. firing george, however, IS an act of assholery, and this still is done in a cool, calm and collected manner. when darryl tries to stage an uprising over the candy, he doesn’t get mad, he rolls his eyes and tells them to get back to work. if s2 nathaniel is rude, it’s in a very composed and cultivated way, because he is all about appearances. s2 nathaniel would never in a million years refuse to speak to a high profile client the way he does in 4x03!!!! he would never speak so rudely the way he does in 4x06! i get that his infatuation with rebecca leads to a loss of composure but it just doesn’t work for me. he’s an uptight wasp, and if he’s going to be rude, it’s going to be via scathing passive aggression! (and while we’re at it, there’s no way he doesn’t understand that kissing bert on the forehead is weird. he’s plenty affectionate with rebecca. he’s repressed, not stupid. that almost kiss fake out should have been with heather and i WILL die mad about it.)

it’s also like they realised at the start of s4 that he hadn’t fallen far enough to have a satisfying arc of growth, so they tried to make him worse in a way that didn’t ring true. in as early as s2 darryl, tim and jim feel comfortable enough to risk nathaniel’s wrath when they try to coax him into a nap. in 3x10 when rebecca wants them to revolt against nathaniel, none of them are particularly interested because he’s been fine, actually. so why do we suddenly jump to them being terrified of him in s4? the leap is just as lazy as his yelling ‘i’m nice now!’ - though at least the case there is that that’s the whole joke.

s2 also set up a wonderful adoptive father/son dynamic between darryl and nathaniel that could have been the perfect way for nathaniel to examine his toxic masculinity except that it went absolutelynowhere. this is particularly frustrating because nathaniel occupies a lot of screen time, yet doesn’t really ever have much of a storyline independent of rebecca. all we really get is that he has issues with his parents, but they don’t do much with that except rehash the same conflict with his father, twice, without pushing it anywhere new or interesting. it felt like his s4 arc needed to be about breaking free from his father (and think of the humour that would have been inherent in nathaniel having to suddenly navigate life on a budget!) but we only got a snippet of that in a flashback to a phone call in the finale. ceg could have done so much more with a lot of its characters, but it’s a real bummer that, say, heather and valencia lost out on extra screen time because the narrative favoured nathaniel, even when it wasn’t actually utilising nathaniel in a satisfying way.

i always find it ironic that they felt like they had to dial back the grebecca slant in the finale because they were favouring greg too much, because in so many ways the show does (both intentionally and unintentionally) favour nathaniel, which definitely speaks to a greater issue in popular media where we’re prone to favouring the straight white asshole nathaniel represents. nathaniel got to be the one singing her song, which is such an important moment for rebecca, and while as a shipper i cherish that, i’m not blind to the mental gymnastics you have to do to accept nathaniel ever agreeing to be in a musical. the dude even got an entire episode from his POV, something no other character gets.

tl;dr i totally get why people that don’t like nathaniel resent his presence in the show so strongly. it just so happened that my monkey brain decided it liked the dumbass anyway, and the aspects about the dynamic that interest me outweigh all the things that piss me off.

[paintalyx]

hey can you maybe recommend some of your favourite fics please!!

aaaah, i'm a little behind on asks because of college but i saw this and i couldn't help but scramble to respond as soon as i found the time!!!! i'm super flattered that you're asking me for fic recommendations, but you didn't specify any fandoms or genres so i can't guarantee that any of these will be your cup of tea (feel free to shoot me another ask if you'd like to elaborate though!!!!). i'll try to be as diverse as an unapologetic angstlord can be, so here we go:

(note: while i did my best to add cws, it's still possible that something slipped past me, so please be mindful. as a rule of thumb, i'm not going to add warnings for stuff that's already depicted in canon material)

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campfire in your chest (haikyuu!!, canonverse, tsukkiyama-main & kagehina-side)

Kei realizes in their second year of high school that he's probably been in love with Yamaguchi since they were ten. However hopeless he might be in handling that situation, Kei prays he's at least not as hopeless as Hinata and Kageyama. But he just might be.

four tags for you: pining, slow-burn, friends to lovers and unresolved sexual tension. this one's a classic, an old favourite of mine. i remember reading it on lunch breaks in high school while daydreaming about my crush and getting frustrated with tsukishima because "dammit, at least one of us needs to get it together and that won't be me anytime soon". also, once your done with reading this, please do yourself a favour and spare some time to check out the companion piece to this fic, "stay, stay, stay", which can be summed up simply as "meanwhile, kagehina".

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a soft place to fall (jojo's bizarre adventure: vento aureo, canon divergence, narancia/trish); cw: major character death

“This is my wound, too,” Narancia softly says, eyes shadowed by so many dark lashes. He presses down over her pulse, and Trish’s heart jumps to meet it. “And this is my heartbeat. I can be brave because you’re brave.”

In the ten days between Corsica and Sardinia, Trish learns about her new power, reflects on the past, and finds her reasons.

this deserves so much attention!! i love the writing style, the character interactions— everything just feels special and different! it's been a hot minute since i watched part 5, but i have distinct and fond memories of reading this fic. it really did trish's character justice and, as a sweet bonus, it successfully got me hooked on this adorable pairing.

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count the days until they blur, then keep on counting (mob psycho 100, canon divergence, gen); cw: torture, child abuse, imprisonment, starving

What Teruki wanted was power, right? What he wanted was to hurt people? Even if he didn't, he's got it now.

okay, this *may* seem bad, but it's hands down one of my all time favourite reads, not just as a fanfic. it has a happy end (worry not!), reigen being a reluctant disaster dad and teru— god, i love the way he thinks, feels, *copes* and changes as a person over the course of this fic. it shows all sides of him, the good, the bad and the ugly. he tries, he struggles, he relapses and recovers. some works just stick with you forever, and i'd be lying if i said that this one didn't change my life. like, i thought that it was the bee's knees the first time i read it and i was so mad that it had to end that i talked my friend's ear off about how unfair it was (though upon re-reading, when i was older and capable of understanding things a little better, i decided that the ending was perfect as it was). it's definitely not a work that i would recommend to someone sensitive, but i think i've established myself as someone who enjoys meaningful angst.

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storm shelter (genshin impact, canon compliant, gen); cw: animal death

Three different times, over the years, Diluc and Kaeya are trapped together in the snow.

i'm a sucker for unconventional sibling dynamics and messy, conflicted feelings and this fic *provides*. it's clear that diluc and kaeya care for each other deeply, but they're both stubborn dumbasses about it (mihoyo, let these two talk again, i'm begging you). though the scenario in each snippet is somewhat similar, pov shifts to kept things fresh and prevented the story from becoming repetitive.

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being a wingman is a full time job (genshin impact, canon compliant, chiluc)

“What are you doing in Mondstadt?”

“You didn’t show up this week!” Childe says. “Aether brought Hu Tao instead. She really handed it to me, but it just wasn’t the same.”

“You…” Diluc stops. “You came all the way to Mondstadt just because I didn’t show up?”

Oh?

-

Kaeya discovers Diluc has a crush and, despite not being on the best of terms with his estranged brother, takes it upon himself to be the ultimate wingman.

this isn't among my favourite pairings for either party, but rumour says that if you say "oh, chiluc is just a crackship" enough times, you'll start shipping it for real so here we are. boy, where do i start?? a lighthearted, humorous fic every once in a while is good for the soul, basically a requirement. obvious idiot/oblivious idiot is a trope that i don't think i'll ever get tired of, but making the entire story be told from wingman's pov adds some extra spice to it.

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a cheap imitation (durarara, canonverse, shizaya); cw: graphic depictions of violence and gore

“Attached to your neck is a collar that will inject a poison into your jugular vein two days from now. Forcibly removing the device will also trigger the poison. Somewhere on this island is the antidote.”

His hands reached up to his neck and he felt the cool metal of the collar.

“Live or die. Make your choice.”

god. these two are so disgusting and problematic, i love them. this fic pulls no stops. the author really looked at these two dumbasses and said "yeah, the only way they'd ever get along realistically is in a life or death situatio— wait," and we gotta appreciate that. well-thought-out survival stories are a very specific niche that i've always enjoyed, so adding familiar characters into the mix can only get me more intrigued. author also snatches all my uwus for appealing to my inner neat-freak and consistently finding different ways to give the boys hygienic products. if you want drama, tension and survival with some humour sprinkled in for the ~flavour~, this is a perfect read!

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i admit i got a little carried away, but honestly??? who wouldn't when talking about something as wonderful as taking something that someone has poured their heart and soul into adding onto it out of love and passion??? i'm totally setting myself up for psychoanalysis with these recs, but tastes are subjective. i hope you'll find something of interest!! ^^

[pyroclastic727]

Owl House Predictions 1-B

Created before The First Day premiered. If I get at least ten of these right, then I get a cookie. Information comes from the trailer, the episode descriptions, and the minigame relics on the Disney website. If you want proof for each theory, ask me in the comments.

The First Day

Luz samples each track at first and can’t decide. She tries to pick potions but mixes magic to end up in the Delinquent Track

Viney uses magic from the blue track with the DNA hand in order to become the monster shown in the trailer.

Luz looks up to Viney and tries to mimic her actions

At the end of the episode, Luz is forced into one track.

Really Small Problems

Luz, Willow, and Gus hang out together in the marketplace. King feels left out and devalued because of his height.

King gets a potion from Tibbles, that’s supposed to make him tall. It’s a trick, so it ends up making Luz, Willow, and Gus into miniature versions of themselves

At first, the three get lost. Then, instead of King finding them, Tibbles does.

Tibbles kidnaps Luz, Willow, and Gus, intending to use them as entertainment and sell them. Eda and King have to rescue the three of them, returning them to normal.

Understanding Willow

Willow and Amity fight over their past. Luz wants to understand it, but neither girl goes into detail. It gets to the point where Luz has to choose between her friendship for Willow or her crush on Amity

Instead, Luz steals a magical artifact from the school: the tweezers that extract memories. She uses them on Willow.

Memories are shown as windows on trees. A person crawls through a window in order to watch a memory. 

We are shown pieces of all their memories, one at a time.

Luz’s memories are of her family and schooling. We see how badly people treated her, and how much of an outcast she felt she was. We also see how her relationship with her mom is strained: sometimes they get along, and sometimes her mom hides creativity, almost as if she’s keeping a secret from her.

Amity’s memories are about her family and pressure. We might get hints at the half-human theory, or the Eda-is-her-mom theory. We see her parents hurting her emotionally, and how any slip-ups were treated with cold disapproval.

Willow’s memories are of bullying and depression. We see how she started as a cheerful, optimistic kid. Then Amity left her, and she became insecure about her abilities. Then Amity bullied her, and she let it get to her. She joined the Abomination Track because either she or her parents wanted her to be cool like Amity. But that isn’t what she’s good at. 

Willow and Amity are ex-friends, but it’s written like they’re the type of exes where they had mini-crushes or platonic crushes on each other, but they were too young to recognize them as such.

Luz damages one of Willow’s memories when they’re in her brain. Amity is panicked because they messed up, and this is her second rulebreaker adventure with Luz, after “Lost In Language.” Luz and Amity have to repair her brain. They see something they shouldn’t see. 

Luz and Amity have to take Willow to Eda, searching for a solution. She helps them heal Amity. Gus is there, too, because that’s the promo picture I’m basing this off of.

Willow and Amity make steps towards making up.

Eda hints at her tragic past. Luz asks about it, but doesn’t press it, because she has boundaries.

Enchanting Grom Fright

It starts with a lunch scene, where Willow and Gus tell Luz about Grom. She thinks it’s like Prom. Either they tell her what it really is, and she’s shocked--or they assume she knows what it is really like, and she never learns.

Her next step is to get a Grom date. She tries to ask Amity, but doesn’t know if Amity is interested. So she stalks Amity, hiding in lockers and peering around corners, trying to build up confidence.

Grom turns out to be a dance and a competition. It’s like prom, except it’s not a popularity competition. Witches have to show off their powers, and whoever is the least powerful is given the Grom Tiara. The Tiara shows the wearer their worst fears. 

Or, Grom is a trial contest. Only the bravest witch volunteers to wear the Grom Tiara and face their worst fears.

Amity knows what Grom is really like, and she’s nervous. She aims to be the best, and reap whatever reward they give the best witch--or to survive the Grom Tiara. So she’s worried, which Luz probably misinterprets.

Luz messes up asking Amity out. They don’t go together, even though they clearly want to.

Or, Luz asks Amity out, and Amity is shocked because Grom isn’t like that. Luz thinks it’s a lack of interest and she’s upset.

Throughout the Grom, they dance and switch partners. Luz has snippets of conversation with Amity, where each person realizes that they might have misunderstood. Before Luz can figure out what’s wrong, a contest is declared. 

If Grom is a power contest, Luz loses the contest. She has to wear the tiara, and she must face her fears.

If Grom is a trial, Luz volunteers to wear the crown, not knowing what it does. She experiences the same problems.

Luz’s fears are about losing what she has. She sees her mom coming through the gate. She sees herself losing King and Eda and Amity. She is stuck at camp, or at her old school, and they’re missing. She stares at a picture of her, Eda, and King. She listens to songs that reminds her of Amity. She draws pictures of her friends and found family, with her in the middle. Her mom finds them and takes them away.

Amity helps her snap out of it. Later, Luz is upset, and Amity has to comfort her. Amity slips up and says something gay, and Luz teases her.

Wing It Like Witches

This is the Quidditch Episode

It starts with Luz, Willow, and Gus talking about Owl House Quidditch. Luz is excited to try it. 

Eda is less enthusiastic. She has a bad experience with it, and encourages Luz to not do it.

Luz learns about Boscha’s claim to beat her. Then she has to do it.

The game has a deadly twist: if she loses, she can actually die. She is dismayed to find that Amity is on the opposing team. 

I literally don’t know sports so that’s all I’m going to speculate about this episode

It ends with some important thing that sets up the main conflict for the last two episodes. Probably Emperor Belos or Lilith doing something sketchy

Agony of a Witch (this is where I would say my predictions are not at all accurate)

The class goes on a field trip

Luz hangs out with Amity at first. Then she gets distracted, as she does, and wanders off

Luz finds something she shouldn’t see: the Emperor’s Coven’s magic system.

The Emperor’s Coven collects all the magic that other covens can’t use. It harvests the magic, making Emperor Belos more powerful. 

Luz tries to stop it but gets trapped. She is temporarily successful. Her uniform becomes multi-colored to signify this.

Eda goes there to rescue her. She has to enlist Lilith’s help. Naturally, it’s a trap

Eda and Lilith get in a fight about their past. Before they can reconcile, Belos finds them and fuses them.

The three-headed Hecate monster from the trailer is comprised of Eda, Lilith, and one other person. It is either Emperor Belos, Camilla, or a secret relative of Eda and Lilith’s. If it is Camilla, then the previous episode would be when she crosses over into the Demon Realm. If it is a secret relative, then the previous episode would reveal that identity

Young Blood, Old Souls

Luz has to defeat Emperor Belos’s big plan

She has to enlist the help of Willow, Gus, and Amity. Amity’s parents tell her not to do so, since they’re big donors to the Emperor’s Coven. She rebels against them for the first time in her life.

Edric and Emira help, somehow. I feel like Tiny Nose will reappear as well

Luz and her mother meet, and Luz has to choose whether to stay or go. It’s not an easy decision

Lumity is not confirmed, since they have a new season

Defeating the big plan reveals something far worse. I don’t know what

[happikattwuzheere]

the one where gansey befriends a deer: the au

hey remember that time ronan dreamed up a deer that was described with language suspiciously similar to how adam’s described, because i sure do!!! anyway

OK.

ok. so. this au’s actually evolved a lot since its initial already-pretty-fleshed-out inception one sleepless night, so me talking about it’s gonna be more than one post, but here’s the first one well actually the second technically yesterday’s warmup doodles were also from this au but i didnt talk about it at all so

and I’m gonna start with more or less the same pitch I gave to a couple people on discord

SO. starting out: it’s standard fantasy times, vaguely medieval but no specific time period because I don’t care enough to be digging into that quite frankly, but it is somewhere in England where this is happening. Story starts with just Gansey, Ronan, and Noah. Fey are very real and known entities and there’s been a conflict in England between the fey and humans, if not in the whole country then at least in the lands that the Ganseys are the lords of but probably the whole island tbh, and Gansey’s not inherited the lands yet but he’s going to and wants to maybe find a peaceful resolution to the conflict. It’s not open warfare by any means but it’s been a big problem. 

To the effect of solving that, he heads to some little village that I haven’t named but it’s right next to a known fey forest called Cabeswater. This village has avoided being stomped by the local fey because, despite witches not being particularly liked by the nobility of the time, there’s a big old coven (the psychics of Fox Way, essentially) situated right by this village that’s kept things in check. Gansey’s made his excuses to his parents about why he’s officially going there but really he wants to talk to the witches and get a better grasp of the conflict from the people actually dealing with it.  He and Ronan set out from home together, pick up Noah along the way--who is not a ghost in this AU, he’s a fey who owes Gansey a life debt, that’s a whole other post and THIS post is mostly about gansey and adam--but anyway they get to this village and NOBODY gives gansey the time of day. 

the witches don’t let him into their house because they don’t like the nobility right back thanks and the next time he tries to visit Cabeswater won’t even let him get to the coven’s dwelling, the one witch’s daughter who regularly stops by the village for supplies and to check if anyone needs anything has a big argument with him the first time he talks to her so that’s going nowhere, and, well, the villagers are polite, but they clearly don’t take him seriously. He’s just the lordling playing at things and potentially meddling in their business to them.

So he starts hanging out just barely within Cabeswater, even though he knows that’s not wise, because he finds this perfect spot by a stream, and he’ll sit out there and think and work on the journal he keeps of all his thoughts and plans, and one day while he’s there has a straight up Disney princess experience when a deer stops by the stream and seems incredibly unafraid of him. he cherishes the experience but accepts that it probably won’t happen again.

and then it does. several times. gansey’s losing his mind. this deer??? apparently likes listening to him info dump?? it’s very therapeutic and also very magical and he’s amazed 

a few times in, he names the deer “Pryderi” after a character from a welsh legend, because “such a handsome creature deserves a princely name,” [[muffled blue laughing and whispering “princely” in the distance]], and he tells ronan and noah about this experience but ronan doesn’t believe him at ALL. 

one time after gansey’s particularly upset at how bad his attempts at getting along with the villagers, Pryderi actually lets Gansey touch him for the first time and gansey cannot shut up about it to ronan who’s finally like “i think you’re bullshitting me about this deer thing. im coming with you next time” and gansey’s like “well he’s a deer he might not show up if a stranger’s around and he doesn’t come every time i go down there anyway” and ronan’s like “this sounds like a lot of excuses, dick, you’re not making me believe you any more with this” and gansey’s like “>8\” 

but pryderi does show up, and gansey is delighted, and ronan stares really hard at him and then goes 

and gansey’s like what? nooo. but ronan keeps arguing it for the duration of the visit and the deer actually starts to look annoyed and at the end ganseys like ok maybe but i doubt it. and then hes like “well since you are a fey apparently (/sarcasm) i ought to say farewell with respect” and bows very mockingly and then the deer makes direct eye contact with ronan and bows back and gansey loses his shit

gansey continues meeting up with pryderi but even while his infodumping still happens it does so now with the knowledge that He Does Actually Understand What Im Saying, he may be a fey but he seems like a friendly one and hey that’s way more than gansey thought he would get out here, and also this deer is his friend now thanks, 

he, ronan, and noah (who’s amused by Pryderi but keeps his main thoughts to himself for now) make some excursions into cabeswater, but the thing is noah’s not really native to england, he’s from the european mainland, again i’ll get to it in another post sometime, but. he can sort of help navigate cabeswater but not all THAT well so they get lost a couple times, and every time it does happen pryderi shows up and helps guide them out. there’s some very funny moments of a very jealous ronan getting into weird conflict w/ a very smug deer 

anyWAY one day there’s like a festival, everyone’s drunk because its the middle ages and there’s not really a drinking age, gansey’s making another effort to make friends with anyone, and this one guy about his own age is like “ok look here i’ll teach you the folk dance everyone’s doing ok?” and gansey spends the night dancing w/ a handsome stranger, yes he will recognize the irony in the morning, but for now it goes. well badly because they’re both drunk but it’s fun, and then the guy says “ah, fuck it, i’ll finish teaching you next time we see each other” and gansey’s like “thats a little forward but ok!” and the guy (adam. its adam) panics and leaves while gansey’s back is turned and gansey doesn’t remember that last snippet of conversation the next day nor can he quite recall the stranger’s face. ronan does, because he was watching and not sure which of the two he was jealous of, but neither of them has any idea who the guy actually was. 

and then like, 3 days later, gansey falls asleep at the spot he usually hangs out in in cabeswater and wakes up in the early evening just in time to hear people yelling and for Pryderi to burst into view with an arrow in his flank. he collapses in a bush. gansey snaps into “protect friend” mode and gets the hunters off his trail by being all “oh a strange buck? i saw it pass that way over there friend!” and then when they’re gone he comes back and is all “alright pryderi they’re gone, let me just--” except pryderi’s not a deer anymore. it’s a boy. 

(Adam. its adam. the deer is adam.) 

gansey takes him home, gets the arrow out, noah’s like “i mean he’s not a fey, i dont know what turning into a deer is about but if he were fey the iron in that arrow would already have him dead. he might be partially fey but so little that he’s human in the ways that really matter”, over the next couple days they figure out that pryderi is in fact from the village and is a young man named adam parrish who’s been labelled a changeling and is assumed dead since he was yknow shot, gansey decides for now its probably best to keep him that way, but adam’s not getting better--apparently even having had the arrow in him as briefly as he did has poisoned him, he’s desperately ill and on the third day is finally like “get persephone” so gansey tries again (he’s tried several times over these days, they’d worked out that to have survived this long he must have someone else with a small degree of fey blood teaching him the ropes and the most likely suspects are the witches, but he’s hoping adam specifically asking him to will grant him permission enough to go in) and runs into a very frantic blue en route who as soon as he makes it clear he’s got adam is like “move your ass over on that horse im climbing on too” 

they get persephone, who turns into a fox rather than a deer, she saves adam, everythings cool except adam’s pissy now because he cant go back to the village and he has to give up on the attempts he had in the works to get out of town by working his way out and he takes it out on gansey who doesnt deserve it because this friendship is a mess, he’ll feel bad and take it back eventually but thats yet more posts ANYWAY YEAH theres our starting point 

(also worth noting: due to cabeswater being Right There,  p much everyone in this village actually has a small degree of fey blood, adam just won the genetic lottery) 

tl;dr adam’s a fey-blooded witch’s apprentice and he’s been the deer the whole time and thats the start of this au ty for coming to this ramble 

[trashballerina]

Hetalia Fics I Really Like

this  ⭐ will be for fics I really like. I’ll try not to star everything.

I’m starting with my favorite of all time and tbh I think the fandom should see this fic as a OG, like Auf Weiderstein Sweetheart or Gutters, I really do.

Are We Even Humans  ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ (Literally all the stars)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4103344

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5660761/chapters/25048773 (prequel)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7036330/chapters/16007758 (sequel)

The war is over, but putting together everything that fell apart will be a greater challenge than anyone is prepared to handle. Alliances dissolve, and the lines between friends and enemies are blurrier than ever before.

Opinion: Please read it. It is a series with a sequel and a prequel that can be read on its own but it’s so good. Imma go on a quick rant here. This fic is great from the writing, plot, characters, and the nuances of nationhood abilities. I literally rioted during the first chapter because it was so good. One of my absolutely favorite things in the fic and the series as a whole is Prussia. Kingdom of Prussia, German Democratic Republic, Gilbert Beilschmidt. His character progression and seeing him through the series as a whole is astounding. I was literally left shaken at the end of this series and I’ve read it twice. The OC’s are usually the antagonists, but hot damn, they are memorable OC’s who are great (terrible?) villains. And the family dynamics! The family dynamics are enough of a reason to read it by itself and the romances. Omg I love this fic so much. Main takeaways: astounding characterization, amazing plot, will cry, long read, and a reality check on what it means to be a nation.

Would it be too much if I did a separate post on how much I love this series and an in depth analysis? (I feel like such a nerd omg)

Hard Times Passing 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516458/chapters/56397817

Alfred is homeless during the Great Depression and in his wanderings he's charged with the task of caring for a small orphaned Taiwan. AU-Human names used, Taiwan is a child.

Opinion: So incredibly heart warming. It’s well written and I love the dialogue so much. Also, the little cameos from other characters are an absolute delight. It’s a it short, but so wholesome.

Flowers Don’t Grow on Battlefields  ⭐

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14153106/chapters/32619954

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16898919/chapters/39697068 (sequel)

As war tightens its hold on the nations of the world, new alliances are formed. Nobody will escape the war unscathed. Italy only hopes that this time, he will find a way to save those he holds dearest.

Opinion: I realllly like this fic. Maybe I’m a bit bias because I remember reading it from like to third chapter and watching it get updated till the end, but this is really good. Cute gerita, great characterization, good plot, and some lines just really make me melt. And the fluff omg. There’s a sequel that’s linked under too that I may like more than the first. 

Who Knew (One Shot)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516695#main

“The last time the two of them had any sort of contact was when Gilbert sent the letter to Matthew before the first war started.

That was twenty-six years ago. Twenty-six years Matthew had not seen Gilbert. Twenty-six years of Matthew worrying about if his fiancé was alive or not. Twenty-six years of Matthew thinking about all the horrible things that could be happening to Gilbert. Twenty-six years of Matthew wishing he could just see Gilbert, even if it were just for a second. Twenty-six years of pure hell for Matthew. Twenty-six years of being all alone.”

Matthew Williams, the personification of Canada, never thought that he would fall in love, but he did. He fell in love with Gilbert Beilschmidt, the personification of Prussia, but their romance would have to be cut short with the up coming war that was soon approaching them.

Opinion: My god my heart. Matthew had great characterization. Like amazingly so. 10/10 somber and melodic tones throughout the story. Good tension. And again, my heart. 

TELL ME A PIECE OF YOUR HISTORY  ⭐

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3741175/chapters/8294941#workskin

An account of the media reactions to the reveal of Nations (anthropomorphic national embodiments) with scholarly commentary.

Heavily inspired by: United States v. Barnes, 617 F. Supp. 2d 143 (D.D.C. 2015) [fallingvoices, radialarch] with mixed genres.

Opinion: It’s really cool. It’s told through media, like email, twitter, texts, online magazines, subtitles of videos (not actual videos tho). I love the outside view point of the world on nations and how some people really like them and how others absolutely despise their very existence. One of the main things that sticks out the me is the in depth analysis other humans or posters do on the nations and people even interview the nations, chapter eight is like my favorite for that reason, or how some humans just gush about the nations on so media like how half the fandom does lol. It’s really good. Super creative, great insight on how to world sees the nations, and honestly a great read.

Red Winter (One shot and crossover!)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/909492

The Winter Soldier's new target: a Russian politician named Ivan Braginsky.

Things don't go as planned.

Opinion: Literally so cool. Like nations are total BS to outsiders, especially assassins. I was loosing it during this fic because from Bucky’s POV nations are something else. The writing is really solid and the author uses italics to highlight an action sound or word and even single-word thoughts. The fight scene is really entertaining but also it flows fantastically. 

In Costa Rica (Oneshot)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18614041

“You have this backwards,” McLaughlin said. “Everything. You have it all backwards.” He was a lithe man, looked to be in his mid-thirties. Schnabel leaned back in his chair. Outside, the afternoon rain started, and the frogs momentarily fell silent. “They are dangerous, aren’t they?” Two men discuss the nations and history.

Opinion: No actual nations appear in this fic. It’s just two men talking about the nations and it’s really interesting to see them humor and take seriously the idea of nations. They both discuss what they already know about the nations and theorize. Also hearing an outside perspective and how the nations effect the word around them is golden. I give this fic a big ol’ chef’s kiss. 

Finally, I’ll Just Miss You! (Oneshot)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15553608

Countries will be abolished tomorrow. For the first time, they breathe and realize this might be their last breath and they’ll never wake up again. They want to wake up, they want to go to sleep, the land will still be there when they’re gone. But they breathe, it won’t be the same- for once, they feel human.

Opinion: Bro, I swear I’m not crying. This one is short but really bittersweet and my heart really hurts. I like the snippets of insight on the characters. 

Diamond in the Rough  ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12872642/1/

The year is 1952, the last full year of Joseph Stalin's rule over the Soviet Union. After an incident with Latvia, Estonia is determined to find out what Russia did to him. And so unfolds a chain of events that would lead the Baltic States to tears, to forgiveness, to unexpected courage and horrifying discoveries about the mysterious past of Gilbert Beilschmidt. See AN for rating.

Opinion: This just be a legitimate book. I have honestly read this one like three time and every time I read it I am absolutely elated to discover another detail or action I missed. It is a longer read but I think it is absolutely worth it. For one, the characterization is beautiful. Maybe I might be bias because I stan and love the Baltics, but how they are written compared to the many other fics I’ve read on them is phenomenal. While the author does take some creative liberties and deviates from canon a little, like the Baltics actually considering themselves to be brothers, I really enjoy the changes. ALSO, the history and research and on this fic is genuinely impressive. To think fic authors do this shit for fun and pour so much of their passion into a piece of writing. Secondly, while Russia may be an antagonist in this story, I honestly think it is just. His mentality, backstory, and current predicament explain his behavior and make him a justifiable antagonist. I highly recommend this one. 

Adieux (Oneshot)

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6700886/1/

What happens to nations after they cease to exist? Do they simply disappear or do they get a second chance? It wasn't a subject Francis was particularly keen on finding out about...but at the same time, it wasn't something he could just ignore. One-shot

Opinion: I hate this fic because I love it way too much. I might of cried a little bit and I instantly melt of Francis and Matthew. 

In Our Solemn Hour (incomplete) ⭐

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8975529/30/In-Our-Solemn-Hour

The time was World War II, at the dawn of a global conflict like nothing any of the Nations had ever seen before. Nothing could've prepared them for what lay ahead: a war more total and radical than anything they could ever have imagined. This wasn't just business as usual; it was centuries' worth of pent-up emotions all coming into play at once. This was indeed their darkest hour.

Opinion: Characterization is on point. One part of this fic I remember very well during a fight to the death, Finland mutters a little “Oh dear”. The characters retain some of the qualities that make them silly in Hetalia but because this is another take on it it does get darker. I think Germany’s portrayal is my favorite because he does cruel and unnesscary things and questions it because its not his usal nature. The author notes are super insightful and sometimes funny; it really adds to the rest of the story. I might revisit this post to make a more in depth opinion on it because I don’t remember it all to well when I know I really like this one.

So that was my post lol. I’ll probably make more on other fandoms later tbh or I’ll just make a part two. If you end up reading about any of these posts, please feel free to tell me about them! I love talking about fics and reading in general. Thanks for reading!

[littlepurinsesu]

V Watches MagiReco - Episode 8 Review

*Spoilers for Magia Record Anime Episode 8*

Okay, I was not expecting to enjoy this week’s episode as much as I did! :O From the anime’s pattern so far, I was fully expecting a slower episode with less action as they introduced the next main character (in this case Sana), but this episode had a lot of deviations from the game that did a lot of good, in my opinion!

Lots of positive things to say again for this review ^0^ And no, it’s not just because of that Kanagi “cameo” (even though there WILL be at least one paragraph of me screaming about that LOL you have been warned) xD

I think the slower pace of this episode gave us a really good chance to see how the main characters have adjusted and truly integrated themselves into their new lives. We see Iroha starting at her new school, Felicia starting her part-time job at Banbanzai, Tsuruno visiting to deliver bento boxes for Iroha and the two going to school together... so many small details that seem unimportant to the plot but really give us a good picture of the characters’ new lives and relationships. And that’s really important stuff. They seem to have taken a longer time and really drew out the introduction of this new Rumour rather than immediately rushing into the next one, and this gives the main cast some room to breathe and just be themselves, and also gives the audience a sense of some time having passed as well.

It was also really nice to see Rena back! Seems strange to me that Momoko wasn’t with her, but I was starting to worry that Momoko’s team would be forgotten and pushed to the background, so I was quite pleased to see them still popping up every now and then. The episode also gave us some quality Iroha and Rena bonding, which is kind of bittersweet when you consider that both of them either don’t have friends or always find themselves somehow isolated from the crowd. Rena is still a prickly little tsundere, but seeing her waiting for Iroha and giving her more information and talking with her really put a smile on my face :) I really want Rena and Iroha to be able to make more friends, and it’s super cute when the new friends are none other than each other ^^

Also, the thing about Kaede is really interesting. I’m sure this is an anime-original plot point, but I’m wondering how this is going to tie in with Sana’s arc, or any other part of the Main Story. Rena confirms that Kaede hasn’t actually disappeared; she still comes to school, but rushes home immediately after and doesn’t talk or reply to anyone. We also see her at home with all her plants at the beginning (cute!). I’m guessing she’s still traumatised from that Doppel experience and hasn’t figured out what’s going on, so is too afraid of getting close to her friends in fear of hurting them? Whatever they’re planning, I hope it has some relevance to that post-credits scene in episode 5 so we get some closure to what actually happened and the scene won’t seem so “cool but random” lmao.

Alright imma get this out of the way. (Feel free to skip this paragraph if you’re not interested in hearing me gush about my queen.) K A N A G I I Z U M I. If anyone reading this has been following my past MagiReco posts or knows anything about me at all, you’ll know that I’m absolute trash for Kanagi Izumi xD My best girl may be Iroha, but Kanagi is a character I really admire, respect, and adore. Anyway, I saw the official MagiReco Twitter account post about a Kanagi rate-up banner and was hella confused but excited because my queen was not supposed to appear until... at least until Tsuruno is captured by the Magius and Felicia and Sana have returned. So I guess it makes sense that it was in the form of a “mysterious person on the phone” rather than an actual debut, but gosh as soon as I heard her voice I almost lost it AHHHHHHHHHH （♥>ｏ<♥） This eases any fears I had of her being cut from the anime (I would have hunted down the studio if they made that decision LOL); not only is she not gonna be cut, but they gave her a surprise, mysterious, early introduction, too?!?!? YASSSSS (ᗒᗨᗕ)

Yachiyo’s phonecall with Kanagi is a surprising change to make because Kanagi’s presence is really “not very relevant” at this point, but I guess they really wanted to show how big the Wings of Magius' influence is. As Kanagi says, they’ve taken most of the girls from the East by now. I’m wondering what anime-onlys would feel about this scene, since they probably have no idea who Yachiyo is talking to. If anything, it would probably add to the mystery surrounding Yachiyo (which I hope the anime goes into soon). I was a little conflicted at first because I really wanted Yachiyo’s first contact with Kanagi to seem like a “we haven’t spoken in ages but desperate times call for desperate measures” kind of thing, because with this scene, the next time they "openly” contact her won’t have that same impact. But then the more I think about it, the more I think this might actually be for the better. Kanagi’s introduction into the cast won’t feel like such a “random” thing (like, “oh wait, who are you and since when were you so important?”); Yachiyo has been in some degree of contact with her and she was “there" all along. So yeah, a good change in retrospect, and I’m never gonna say no to seeing (or hearing) more of Kanagi so I’m all for this change either way LOL

Okay enough rambling about Kanagi (OTL I’m so sorry). Felicia working at Banbanzai is just SO CUTE!!! She’s like a cute little gangster omg those glares and “HUHHH?!?!?” (I’d be scared too, Iroha) xD I think the character that’s gotten the best portrayal in the anime so far really is Felicia. And also the reveal that the reason for her getting into a fight and being sent to the police station was because she was defending Yachiyo and Iroha? CUTEEE OMG I LOVE THIS CHILD!!! She also has a really good sense of fashion hehe :D

The little snippet in there with Ui, Touka, and Nemu may seem a little out of place, but I was actually quite relieved to see them. Every week the anime is throwing new characters at its viewers, so I was worried that anime-only viewers wouldn’t even remember who Touka and Nemu are when they’re eventually revealed to be the Magius. I think it’s good to keep drilling them into viewers’ minds so as not to lose that “OMGGG” factor when they make their proper debut. Also it’s adorable how Ui throws teddy bears in their faces to stop them from arguing LOLLL

The radio show was a really good way to not only sneak in tiny “cameos” of other girls (I think it was Rika and Kanoko this week), but also give a nice picture of life in Kamihama. There’s a sense that Iroha really is a part of this city now, and it’s such a nice feeling to see everything “falling into place;” we’re no longer in those inconsistent and uncertain “introductory” episodes anymore, even though we still have one more major character to bring in. And the laughter coming from the phone is super creepy--cute, but in a really creepy way. All the illustrations for when they were talking about the Rumours this week were also really, really well-done. I have nothing much to say about them except “sasuga Inucurry” haha xD

I really was expecting Madoka and Homura to appear this week, but I guess we may have to wait a little bit more for that >_< BUT Tsukuyo did appear again in her “civilian” form! Iroha chasing her into that building was also a really nice change the anime made; some things really need to be animated for full impact, and I’m loving these minor changes and how much more they add to the characters and atmosphere! Anyway, Tsukuyo seems a lot more menacing here compared to her dine-and-dash incident in the game lmaooo, and I wasn’t expecting a Witch battle!

Speaking of Witch battle, I think this might be one of my main letdowns with this episode: I just really want to see Iroha fight more. I appreciate that she’s proactive in seeking answers and brave enough to jump into these situations despite knowing that she’s weak, but she hasn’t really contributed much in battles so far except a few Connects and using her Doppel. I want to see my girl Iroha go all-out and kick ass with her arrows!!! But it was nice to see the rest of Team Mikazuki showing up so quickly; there’s a real sense of them being an actual team now, and they’ve always got each other’s backs! It would have been nice if the rest of the team got to fight as well rather than Yachiyo taking all the spotlight, but at least Yachiyo was super cool haha (as usual). But the battle clearly isn’t the point of this episode, so I won’t pick on it too much :)

By the way, that Mami appearance was super random. When I saw the ribbons and flowers, I almost thought she was going to appear as Holy Mami for a second. At least we know she hasn’t lost her head just yet ;) The appearance was random, but from what they offered, at least we know that Mami is still either in Kamihama or coming to Kamihama regularly to investigate, and while she was suspicious of Iroha in the past, she went out of her way to help her this time, which was a nice touch.

Anyway, now that Iroha has finally replied to the mysterious messages, we might really get to meet Sana (and Ai-chan) next time! Maybe Madoka and Homura, too! But yeah, this episode is a prime example of one where not much seems to happen, but a lot actually does happen and there’s plenty to pull apart and discuss when you really think back on it. Clearly Kanagi took half my attention and feels this week, but I’m definitely having lots of warm and fuzzies seeing Team Mikazuki doing normal, everyday things together. Seeing Felicia added to the OP was expected but still a treat (the way she bobs around on the spot is SO CUTE!), and I can’t wait for the family to finally be fully formed!

(Also, Yachiyo looks gorgeous in anything she wears, seriously.)

[abri-chan]

I remembered watching Battle Tendecy.. and noticing Lisa Lisa didn’t do shit(and I meant that KIND of shit like battling Kars seriously). She just gave presence. She could’ve done a final act where she does something for Joseph as a mother aka fighting Kars Bcs none messes with her baby. But nah. I meant, it can work both way but idk the reactions. Like when Mob from Mob psycho gave his powers to Reigen to fight others adults Bcs he as a child shouldn’t do that.

I get your point, it’s not about doing anything at all (that’s a low bar), but doing something relevant to the plot, or have enough screen time. 

To Araki’s credit, I read in snippet of an interview where he does apologize for his view on women. He said that before meeting the woman that later became his wife, he had very skewed views on women and girls, and he even said that Lisa Lisa did deserve better, and perhaps her own story. So with that in mind, back in the days of Battle Tendency Araki was a man who consumed media made  by men. Long analysis ahead, but the gist is seeing a woman as a prop or part of a man’s story, not as her own independent self. When you regard and portray women as creatures different from yourself, you find them at some level fascinating-- something exotic. Lisa Lisa is there to make Joseph’s adventure interesting to the audience-- assumed to be male, even though it’s probably mostly female by now. 

Speculating here about what tropes inspired Lisa Lisa, but Araki did say old JoJo was heavily inspired by Fist of the North Star and Western movies. 

Fist of North Star/ Hokuto no Ken. (On a side note, even Polnareff looks like a run of the mill Hokuto villain, that gets his ass handed to him by Ken’s “Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru”) Spoilers ahead, but the anime and manga are also old, so it’s past due for spoilers. Yuria, Ken’s fiancee, was a beautiful and powerful woman; she was the most important general of the Nantos. But even then, she does nothing consequential to the plot; she’s assumed mostly dead, then shows up as general but basically still does nothing, as the main conflict is Ken vs Raoh. Less powerful characters had more battles than her. She was used to make Shin look like an asshole and set up Ken’s arc of fighting for his fiancee. Poor Shin kept begging Yuria to just get his power and army (and riches), stuff she should be doing anyways as the last Nanto General, and she just mopped around saying she could love only Ken. What is ambition, am I right?  (also justice for Shin!) I disliked Yuria because she willingly gave up her own power to other men, including Ken. Anyways, from a man’s point of view, he would care for the story of Ken and other male characters; Yuria is there as this fascinating woman, but in no way threatening to the male ego. She’s there to just love the main hero and either wait to be saved by him or sacrifice herself. Lisa Lisa is probably a mixture of Yuria and Mamiya, who had more autonomy, but ultimately her story had to make way for a man’s story. Interestingly, Yuria’s star was the mother star (guess who Lisa Lisa is to Joseph, and all men in Hokuto no Ken have mother issues)

Western Movies. I don’t watch that many movies, and my parents mostly had those 80s macho fighter ones, but I’m guessing femme fatale is Lisa Lisa’s trope. She’s mysterious, she’s strong, she’s beautiful, but ultimately it’s there for the main hero. Kinda like Fujiko in Lupin III didn’t get her own story until recently (by another woman). From Joseph’s perspective, and the reader’s, it’s cool this JoJo takes us to Italy, now it’s even more fascinating our trainer gets to be a femme fatale because we also get nudity scenes, but ultimately Joseph has to fight the main fights and Araki needed a way to remove someone he set up as too powerful from the plot. Hence Kars playing dirty, but even then, did neither Lisa Lisa or Joseph suspect he would? I think from the perspective of a male adventure, Lisa Lisa had already fulfilled her role: she’s a mother and thus not a love interest, she was only as useful as training her son and showing the audience the exotic “femme fatale” trope, and that’s it. 

FYI Netflix’s Castlevania did a good job of giving the female protagonist equal screen time to her two male co-protagonists, but that’s a recent example, and hopefully we see more. 

I also know Araki’s original stories did have women as main protagonists, but they didn’t do so well. I wonder how much that affected his take on female representation in his works, and why we see a female JoJo in part 6 only. 

The thing about Reigen and Mob is that they are more like Jotaro and Josuke or Bruno and Giorno. Reigen was not an actual mom to be pushed aside. 

[ginnyzero]

The Glue Binding the Story Together; Conflict

When I tell people that I'm a writer, there is often a very common response. The person tells me that they are a) a writer too or b) they have a story they want to write or see written. I can be too polite, and sometimes I'll sit there and let them ramble at me for over an hour about their story or often their vague concept with tons of background research for a story.

Or other times, I'll see posts from writers giving little snippets about where they are in their writing. I have this race character or this gender character or so many types of things of this sexual orientation.

I smile. I nod.

And I think, "That's great you have these things and yes, there may be a market for those things, but do you have a story?"

A book is like a pile of ingredients that mix together to create a yummy cake. Characters, Settings, Message, Theme, Background Research. These are like dry ingredients and that when you mix them together you get a bunch of powder, but not a yummy cake. All books need binding agents to bring them together. Binding agents are things like milk, water, eggs and oil. And the binding agent in a book, the glue, (has two metaphors going now) is conflict.

Conflict is what is at stake in the story. In a murder mystery, we need to find the murderer. In a thriller, there is usually some sort of escape from being chased. In a romance, will the hero ever find true love. There are plot driven conflicts were outside forces act upon the hero, they're accused of something they didn't do. They're in the middle of a war. They're cursed. They have a destiny to save the universe. There are character driven conflicts that come from within and from personality clashes with other characters. These are the characters wants, needs, faults and flaws bringing them to a crisis within themselves or with those around them. The desire to belong, the want to escape a bad situation, the feeling of being wronged or betrayed by someone else, the desire for revenge.

Without conflict, there is nowhere for the story to go. There is no action. There is no beginning, middle and end of what is going on in the book. Showing the conflict, accepting the conflict, the tipping point where something has to give in your climax, the resolution of your conflict, the fall out of said conflict and thus, the end of the book. Conflict is what a book's structure relies on. Conflict is the reason readers root for your characters. Readers want to see the people in their books and media overcome difficult obstacles either against other forces or in themselves.

Many, many amateur writers are adverse to conflict because they don't want bad things to happen to their characters. While at the same time, many professional authors use the same types of conflicts over and over, having the same bad things happen to their characters in every book or series.

But bad things or difficult things are how people and characters grow. Without conflict and adversity, there would be no point in reading the story. It'd in fact, no matter how cool, diverse or well constructed your characters, settings, backgrounds are, the story would be pretty boring if there was no conflict.

It's difficult. I'm a pretty conflict adverse person myself. In my books sometimes the conflicts are pretty low stakes. Or at least, to me they feel low stakes because I wrote the dang things and I know the ending. I also try not to write conflicts where the fate of the entire universe is on the line. (I'm over that in media. I really am.) So, I understand that it can be difficult to put adversity into a story when you want good things to happen.

And I've sat there and tried to kindly explain to people who haven't even started their story yet outside of research and characters that while their idea is interesting, their story has no conflict and have they thought of what opposition that their characters are going to face. Often, I feel this is why the story has never been written. They bluster and try to explain the story they want to write and I have to explain again that their story has to have some sort of stakes, some conflict, someone, somewhere has to be against what the main characters are doing and try to stop them or capture them or fight them. And it's easy to get caught up in the idea that your characters in your books exist in this sort of vacuum where the rules of reality don't apply.

It's difficult to say to people, yes, I get that you want to see yourself in media, that you want representation. It's more important that you have a story first and representation second. There is a world of difference between focusing completely on the representation such as "my story is about a gay lawyer," and having a story that is "My story is about a criminal prosecutor and he's been charged with evidence tampering in a major court case and when he investigates he discovers a conspiracy that will change the world and who happens to be gay." Insert representation race or sexual identity of your choice.

The first says to me that the author (if they also happen to be gay) is so bound up in their sexual identity that it will come first in the writing. That the conflict in the story is the fact that the lawyer is gay. The second says to me that the story comes first and that the author is at peace with their sexual identity (if they happen to be gay) that while it's important it's not the be all and end all of their existence. The conflict to the story is the conspiracy cover up they find themselves embroiled in. The second doesn't detract from the character's sexuality at all. The character is still gay. It's not the total of the story.

Representation is important. In the movie Hidden Figures, there was a story about race. There was a story about gender. The inequality and injustice of both, and those stories were driven by the conflict of trying to get an astronaut into space. It is important that the story of these black female mathematicians and engineers and the first computer programmers were told. It added weight and gravitas to the major conflict of getting the math correct to launch a man into an environment that men really aren't supposed to go into and be able to survive. Their race, their gender were part of the conflict of what was going on at NASA at the time. We need stories like that. The story was more powerful because of those adversities and knowing their contributions made the success of the main conflict, getting a man into space and back successfully, that much more powerful. Without it, there wouldn't have been a story at all.

Let bad or hard things happen to your characters and in your settings. Let there be conflict first!

[banshee-king]

‘Rise of the Ynnari: Ghost Warrior’ Book Review

So I finished this book a while ago, but I’m only getting to the review now because reasons. Anyway, I’m going to split this review into 4 categories; Characters, Plot, Structure, and Misc. Characters is about the people and personalities of the story, plus character grow/arc and all that. Plot is the events of the story. Structure is the sentence/paragraph/chapter/overall structure of the writing. Misc is special details that should be taken into consideration, in this case, it’s the new lore that this book adds to the whole of 40k, but also how this story fits into the overall narrative of the Ynnari. I guess I’ll each a score out of 5, but I won’t do an average for the total score, since each category isn’t necessarily worth the same, and since some of these categories blur together. Anyway, spoilers ahead…

Characters: 2/5

A little less than halfway though the story, every character is put through a hallucinogenic test by the Harlequins. This test probes at each person’s weakness, which they’ll need to pass for their upcoming quest. The Harlequin Shadowseer prophesised that one would fail their test, and this is foreshadowed to be the Visarch who saw the bloody hand of Khaine, which is a symbol for betrayal. This ‘betrayal’ comes near the end of the book where the Ynnari find Eldanesh’s tomb, where the Warshard of Khaine Guards. The Warshards radiates an aura of bloodthirsty madness, which affects almost all the Ynnari army, including the Visarch. But like, there are hundreds of other Eldar present? Was this really a betrayal if the Visarch was forced, and also wasn’t the only one? Also, nothing amounts to this, the Visarch’s character doesn’t learn anything, other than the fact he lacks the same incredible willpower as the other major characters. All he does is momentarily attack Yvraine for bit. They lose nothing, learn nothing, develop nothing.

As for the Autarch Meliniel, in his test he saw Biel-Tan fall and he had to act but couldn’t do anything. Then when facing the Warshard, he resisted the urges and fought the shard of Khaine. As a reward, he gains the ability to turn into an Avatar of Khaine… despite the fact that a wraithlord also fought the Warshard, Iyanna crippled it by throwing her spear into its neck, and Yvraine did the finishing blow. But yay Meliniel? I have no idea how this relates to his test, or why Khaine would reward an Eldar for resisting him. Wouldn’t Khaine reward an Eldar for giving into their bloody urges? Also, Meliniel does very little of importance throughout the book. His defining moment is leading a couple squads of Eldar against some Genestealer cultists and being forced to flee. Yay for Biel-Tan’s greatest Autarch. Overall, like the Visarch, his personality doesn’t change, he learns nothing, and his character isn’t developed.

Now for Iyanna, she is the best character in this book, and the reason why I give the Characters section 2/5 instead of 1/5. If she were to be the main character, I’d give 2.5/5, but she wasn’t, and her underused role doesn’t make up for everything else. Unlike other characters Iyanna has an actual character arc. She has emotional vulnerability, and an actual character flaw. After loosing her family, she has become incredibly isolated and lonely, yet she won’t admit that to herself. She doesn’t want to face her sadness. This leads to her trusting people she shouldn’t, because she yearns for a new family, a new home. In this book she faces the hurtful truth and accepts the feelings she’s been hiding, she realises that she has a home/family with the Ynnari. This also aligns with the Harlequin’s test she faced earlier, so her story is more coherent than say Meliniel’s. I feel like her story could have been done better, it’s not perfect, but in comparison, Iyanna is so much more interesting than every other character in this book.

And now for Yvraine herself. I actually have a lot to say after thinking about this for a bit, so I’m going to put my thoughts about Yvraine/the Ynnari in a separate post. In short for this review, Yvraine lacks personality, an adequate character arc, she lacks chemistry with the antagonist, and she lacks emotionally investment or impact on the reader. Yvraine was present in this story, that’s it, great, but I honestly wish this entire book had been set through Iyanna’s eyes, because Yvraine’s perspective doesn’t add anything and the page space could have been better spent on Iyanna.

Finally, special mention to Iyasta and Telathaus, Azkahr, and Idraesci Dreamspear, for also being in the book, and having very little purpose whatsoever. I almost forgot they existed. As for the antagonist characters, they work well with Iyanna, Sydari was threatening/intimidating and a good foil for her. Yet they don’t really work well with the rest of the cast. The Warshard was important for the Visarch and Meliniel but wasted on Yvraine and the rest, and overall felt tacked on to the end of the book.

Plot: 2/5

The story of this book is better than Fractures of Biel-Tan, yet I still have some major gripes. My first one was that nothing was really gained. Iyanna’s character was grown and developed, Meliniel got the power to transform into Khaine, but that wasn’t the point. The original goals were to find the fifth Cronesword, and to form an alliance between Iyanden and this new Craftworld. Neither was accomplished. Iyanna reconnecting with her family and getting closure was great and all but it wasn’t on the agenda of the Ynnari’s goals, and this book is meant to be about the Ynnari.

This book suffers from the same problem that so many Eldar books do, it doesn’t seem to understand what its audience wants. The only people reading this are fans of Eldar, so a story that feature two groups of Eldar killing each other isn’t great. A bunch of Eldar die in this, as if they don’t die enough already when they’re the antagonists. Like seriously, there’s a squad of Howling Banshees in this book that did very little and could have nearly survived, but just had to die at the end, because we can’t have an Eldar book without an obligatory Banshee killing.

Like this book kills the Avatar of Khaine twice. TWICE! The first one gets corrupted by Genestealers, and the second one is said to be the greatest shard of Khaine ever, and it stills dies. Like BL now has to get creative with how humiliating they kill off Khaine. I swear they’ll make Khaine die of childbirth before they let him be cool. The fact that this mystical manifestation of the concept of murder and strife is now some toy that Meliniel can activate with the push of a button is even more humiliating. Making Khaine serve Ynnead is also degrading.

Additionally, the whole point of getting Iyanden’s Ghost Warriors to go with the Ynnari was pointless, as was the conflict of getting the noble houses to rally their warriors. In terms of worldbuilding and showing their culture it was fine, but the book could have easily been rewritten to not include them. The Ghost Warriors only show up for one battle near the end, but it’s so one sided, that you could have easily changed it so that the Ynnari won on their own. Iyanna tagging along was fine, but how many pages were wasted on the politics of Iyanden, when it ultimately didn’t go anywhere? Too many characters had plotlines that didn’t go anywhere, too much time was spent worldbuilding things that didn’t matter to this story, just too much stuff could have been cut out in general.

Structure: 2.5/5

Again, this book is better than say ‘Fracture of Biel-Tan’, but it’s not great. It’s more coherent/straightforward, the descriptions of things and locations were good, dialogue was fine, but the pacing was a little weird. They don’t reach Zaisuthra until halfway through the book, despite being the main focus, and the plotlines that go nowhere don’t help. The battle between the Ynnari and the Zaisuthrans is also incredibly short and is glossed over too much for my liking. I just feel unsure what this book was trying to showcase. If this book was exploring Iyanden or Iyanna than so many chapters feel pointless. If Yvraine was to be the main focus than why was so much time spent elsewhere. Meliniel feels like he should be a major character, yet he has such a small presence, and none of his scenes seem connected to his final test against the Warshard.

I mean this book is called Ghost Warrior, but it features them so little. Spiritseer would have been a batter choice in my opinion. I just feel like this book was messy, and the overall story would have been so much more concise if it wasn’t trying to show all these characters/worlds, without actually putting the time in to do them properly.

Yet my worst complain has to be the second person intro. I really didn’t like the introduction to this book that spoke directly to me the reader. I want to escape into this fictional world, not have a conversation with the author. When it talks about tales too complex to retell here, or asks if I would doubt the reliability of the narrator, it just annoys me. I don’t need to be told “we join Yvraine in the garden of Nurgle”, just show me it. Another striking moment was when the Ynnari landed on Zaisuthra, and the book basically said “imagine that there was suitable festivities because I can’t be bothered describing it”. Like, this book’s structure is fine, acceptable, but it’s nothing to write home about.

Miscellaneous: 2.5/5

Although I complained about the worldbuilding not feeling like it belonged in this story, or dragged down the pacing, it was good. I liked the snippets of lore we get from this book, I like the portrayal of Iyanden and Zaisuthra. I really don’t like the entire plotline of the Warshard however, I wish it didn’t exist, and I’m not looking forwards to seeing that in other books.

However, this book also added questions to things I thought I understood before, and that’s not good. Although I’m still going to mark it off against this book for complicating a matter that wasn’t complicated before, I’d like someone to answer this for me, do the Eldar still worship their gods? Specifically Craftworld Eldar here, because this book pointed out how strange it was for the Zaisuthran’s to still be worshipping the “Old Gods” like Asuryan, Isha, or Vaul. Yet they don’t worship Cegorach apparently? I know they wouldn’t worship Ynnead because he’s so new, but I’m now confused as to who worships what. Like Iyanna thinks the Gods abandoned them in the War of Heaven, and the Ynnari don’t care when destroyed Zaisuthra about crushed the monuments to dead gods. Yet is Craftworld Iybraesil and Yme-Loc not dedicated to Morai-Heg and Vaul respectively?

I’m so confused. I enjoy the little bits of worldbuilding in this book, but the Warshard and perhaps this… I just… if GW has made the Craftworld Eldar atheists, I’m going to be so pissed.

Conclusion:

This book is bad. I really want to like the Ynnari and Yvraine, but there’s just so many problems. Like I don’t even think this book is that well written. Even if you want to know about the Ynnari, this book doesn’t add much that the others don’t. I don’t even give that much insight into the Ghost Warriors. Read if you want to learn about Iyanna, otherwise just skip in my opinion. =/

[acetrainerwitch]

alright. time for me to ramble about the direct.

the graphics are gorgeous and the new snippets of locations we got has me even more excited. honestly, so far the setting and graphics are what has me the most excited. the world just feels so immersive and like i could just fall right in. later on we see shield fishing and sword getting fruit from a tree and the animations are making me cry help

i love hop. i really do. but people have commented that they are getting hau vibes and honestly, the h names don’t help AT ALL. furthermore, it was said that he is one of our rivals, so it will be interesting to see how many more and if there is one that is a mean, challenging rival

p sure the scene at the beginning with the starters stepping onto the battle field is directly from the game and is the selection scene which makes me wonder if the fistbump between scorbunny and sword is after picking or is similar to the high five shared between the let’s go starter and protag after winning their gym battles

i’m honestly ambivalent on every single pokemon from gen 8 revealed so far including the starters. i’m holding off on picking my starter for evo info. drednaw is cool, but not the type of mon i would run with. wooloo is adorable and i love them, but if they don’t gain a secondary typing then i know i would end up having them on my team only for a little bit if at all. we already have the mareep line which has been a favorite for years, but i am really happy a sheep was introduced in galar because of course there is. gossifleur/eldegoss is interesting, but again doesn’t appeal strongly to me. corviknight is probably the one i’m most excited for from every galar pokemon revealed so far tbh

some form of aimee or refresh is definitely back! the scene with sobble right after the new mon reveal suggests this. i love being able to play so closely with my pokemon and am really happy it’s back. the limited version in let’s go was disappointing

the battle scene with corviknight against sawk looks v much like a z-move. idk what to make of this. i would assume we are going to see z-moves and megas again though they are generally reintroduced after the main game. so idk

okay, the wild area. i love it. i love the open world feeling it is going to give us. the ability to move the camera which has never been in main game pokemon before! overworld pokemon are back! pokemon based on time of day, season, environment, and more?! i’m super excited to see more about this. and it’s so damn pretty!!!

it looks like this is the only area where max raids are. this makes me suspect two things. first, i think this area will act as the main area where players can find most of the pokemon needed to complete the national dex. second, i wouldn’t be in the least surprised if this were the only area for multiplayer other than a battle mode. i do hope that this local/online multiplayer mentioned will allow your friends to actually roam the area with you in addition to taking on the max raids. the multiplayer in let’s go was disappointing because the second player couldn’t interact with the world at all and always teleported away between locations and for cut scenes. if this area allowed you to play with your friends in the game but only there it would negate the teleporting because it would only be in the one are and there would be no heavy plot here.

regardless, i’m excited to see what it actually ends up being!

the bike is back! we have a rotom dex again though this time it looks like a smart phone. it’s particularly cool because the rotom phone was spotted in the masters official art from the conference last week and this just shows that we got a sneak peak without really realizing it! anyways! the rotom dex apparently can supercharge the bike to make it go fast and go over water. in addition to mentioning corviknight being a fly ride pokemon it is confirmed that hms continue to be a thing of the past. interested to see what is done for strength and rock smash

and dynamax/max raids... this is the third generation where the gimmick is something to superpower pokemon. i’ve only liked mega evolution. z-moves were so over the top and dynamax feels the same imo. the thing i like least about these two is that it just feels so much more unrealistic. i know, i know. it’s pokemon. the whole thing is unrealistic. but these things just feel so world breaking to me. i just didn’t enjoy z-moves and i will continue to not enjoy dynamax.

i’m also conflicted on max raids because depending on how they are implemented it can make people that play primarily solo feel really left out

BUT WE DID GET A PEEP AT CUSTOMIZATION AND I AM SO READY

i’m the least sports person ever, so the presentation of battles as a sporting event is nothing special imo and i’m not a fan of the outfits. that said? it’s incredibly fitting for a uk based region and i support it for that alone lol

that said, there was mention of dynamaxed pokemon raising the excitement of the arena and i am curious if there is anything to that comment

also, milo is like every grass gym leader. precious and good and wholesome badass. he is so excited to be battling with his buddies! thank you for coming to my ted talk

leon speculation is that he is the leader of the evil team. that’d be the first time the champion has also been the evil team leader (though we did have the final gym and evil team leader bit and the whole situation with n is a Discussion). if this happens to be the case i am looking forward to seeing how that story plays out!

can we talk about how his hat is designed to look a bit like a crown in addition to the heckin cloak! and i love that hop is leon’s younger brother!

i’m intrigued by the mystery hinted at regarding prf magnolia and sonia between sonia studying something specific for magnolia and the fact that she was also a childhood friend of leon’s. i love that they are family (grandparent/granddaughter! anyone else getting oak vibes!) and the idle animations that we were shown for both were endearing!

we are definitely getting sneaking shown while they were going into further detail about the wild area. i hope it isn’t limited to just that area! the protag also whistles at one point and seems to get the attention of area pokemon? i’m curious if that is a further mechanic of some kind.

i am again p ambivalent regarding zacian and zazamenta. i kinda prefer zacian’s design, but not overly so that game specific pokemon would make having to go with the other a big deal. i saw a comment that cyan and magenta are in the names leaving speculation that there will be a third for yellow. could be green though js. i mean, that intro trailer definitely suggested... something.

and here ends my ramble. i know there are things i missed that i wanted to comment on, but this is more than enough and i should be working. so i’ll leave it at that. i would like to get more information about local/online/multiplayer mechanics, evos for the starters, game exclusive pokemon, and a bit of story/evil team information, but i am p damn content with what we got.

[allthephils]

You Were Only Waiting

Word Count: 8510 Rated T (language, mental health mentions, strangers to lovers)   Read on AO3

This is my fic based on this art by the amazing and talented @lovelydeps for the @phandomreversebang. Huge thank you to @wolfstarphan for betaing. You were immeasurably helpful! This was such a lovely and fun team to work with!

Summary: Dan is stranded at the airport and stuck in his head, Phil is just looking for some company. A fic about delayed flights and delayed connections.

Dan’s flight is delayed just enough that he’s uncharacteristically on time. It has improved his mood from incredibly irritable to very annoyed but still, this trip was exhausting. New York is cool but there are just so many people and he’s drained. He’d rather be alone with the friends coming through his headphones than fielding questions from his Uber driver. Apparently, he didn’t get the memo that headphones mean no talking. Janelle and Kevin and Troye understand, they don’t ask anything of Dan.

  He’s never been so relieved to step out of a car. The ground is covered in a thick blanket of snow, bringing a magical beauty to this decidedly mundane setting. Unfortunately, inside it’s still an airport. He watches his feet as they carry him across the ugly airport carpet to the end of the security queue. It’s a mess, a labyrinth of twists and turns that feels unending. It does end though and Dan goes through the motions by rote. Laptop out, shoes off, little baggie of travel toiletries into the tray. He stands in the scanner, arms above his head and the TSA agent nods and waves him through. It’s the same every trip. He’s come to accept that the time lost in airports is just a necessary evil, something to get through.

  At least he doesn’t have to run. He should get to the gate just in time for boarding. It’s quite a hike though, the airport is huge. This is far more exercise than he’d like to be getting today and the constant drone of voices rushing past in all directions is doing nothing for his mood. It feels like a big American mall in here. Dan hates malls, they’re just big monuments to capitalism. So much wasted space filled with useless plastic junk and cheaply made decadence. He passes a Victoria’s Secret and a store that just sells massage chairs. There’s a very posh jewelry store and a shop filled with designer bags and key fobs. He wonders who drops two grand on a handbag at the airport until he catches a glimpse of his reflection in the glass case and remembers what he paid for his jumper. He picks up his pace, choosing to ignore the voice in his head that says he’s part of the problem.

  The gate is purgatory. Close quarters packed with people who would rather be somewhere else and bright unnatural lighting. It’s stifling and Dan wants nothing more than to move on. In a few minutes, the flight will board and he can finally relax. He’s got a guided meditation all queue up and some chamomile tea in his bag, ready to brew. With a deep sigh, he pulls out his phone to get his boarding pass ready. Just then, a notification from the airline pops up. Before he can read the whole thing, the announcement booms out all around him, a long list of cancelled flights, his included. Shit.

  Cancelled due to inclement weather. That’s what the notification said, no follow up information, no instructions on what to do next. The website isn’t any help either. He glances around at the crowded room but everyone looks just as lost as he feels. He’s going to have to do the adult thing and actually ask for help. He’ll have to physically walk up to the counter and talk to a real human being, like its fucking 1985 or something. He flicks his hair from his eyes and takes his place in yet another queue.

  Soon he’s listening while the guy in front of him demands to know why they didn’t predict it would snow so much and how come they can’t just fly around the storm. The agent shows far more patience than Dan would have, repeating her well worn speech, “We are so sorry for the inconvenience but it is very difficult to predict at this time. You’ll receive notification as soon as we know more.”

  The man throws his hands up and Dan softens a bit, knowing the agent is having a much worse day than he is.

  “What a twat.” He says as he approaches the counter and she spares a thin smile. “I realize you can’t control or predict the weather but I’m wondering if this likely to be an overnight thing or a booked on another flight in a few hours thing?”

She gives Dan the same answer she gives everyone but he leans forward on his elbows. “Yeah I know, but like, if you had to predict how long we’ll be here...Like just between us.” He musters a sweet smile and an awkward wink that he wishes he could take back almost immediately. Before she can repeat herself again, he apologizes and slinks away.

Dan is stood near the desk, hoping to catch any snippets of news that might come up. There’s nowhere to sit and crawling into a hole isn’t an option so standing will have to do for now. That’s when fate smiles upon him. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees movement, someone gathering their things. Thrilled by the prospect of actually getting to sit down while he waits an undetermined amount of time, Dan makes a b line for the soon to be vacated seat. The previous occupant has barely stepped away when he swoops in, nearly colliding with someone who had the exact same plan.

  “Oi, sorry mate, I was eyeing this seat.” Dan says, standing his ground.

  “Yeah so was I, mate.” He’s pale and lanky, his shoulders hunched over in a painful display of poor posture. He looks like he’s trying to be shorter. If he wants to blend in, he probably shouldn’t have worn a jumper that looks like a lady bird. Dan supposes he’s kinda cute, maybe a little hot, but sarcasm doesn’t look good on anyone. He’s not the least bit intimidating but he’s trying, lips curled up from the snark, wild brows raised. Those blue eyes are too dreamy to be shooting daggers like that.

  Dan should look away, he should square his shoulders and pretend he is not to be messed with. This is a snowed in airport, the wild west, he should claim his territory. He doesn’t look away though, he can’t or he doesn’t want to. Whatever the case, his defenses are weakened along with his knees.

  “Actually, you take it.” He concedes, “I have too much nervous energy anyway.”

  The guy drops the totally ineffective tough guy act. “No, no, it was a draw. Rock, paper, scissors?”

  Dan truly believes there are few conflicts in life that can’t be solved with rock, paper, scissors. They draw again and again, both of them laughing at how completely this strategy has failed. On the next 1, 2, 3, the guy pauses and his eyes wander to Dan’s left, his whole face softening. Dan turns to see what brought on such a change and damn. There goes his chance at a restful wait. Just behind Dan is a mum with a very heavy looking toddler crashed out on her shoulder.

  “Would you like to sit down?” The guy says sweetly, tripping over his luggage as he moves out of the way. Dan steps aside too and forces a smile though he’s pretty resentful.

  “Are you fucking kidding me? Thank you so much!” She looks about his age, like someone he could be friends with. He can’t imagine being stuck here with a child to care for. “Sorry, It’s been a long day.” She says and sits down with a sigh. Dan catches a glimpse of the angelic sleeping face on her shoulder and he’s over it.

  Resigned, he walks to the corner of the room and plops down on an empty patch of carpet, facing a big window overlooking the snowy runway. He searches for a hotel and is unsurprised to find every room in the vicinity booked. Headphones back in, he leans forward on the glass and watches the snow fall.

  Time doesn’t follow the rules in airports, not when all the flights are delayed and most are cancelled and it’s late afternoon but people are curled up, asleep in chairs. Dan has changed positions roughly 43 times but his restless legs are still nagging him. Funny how being lazy only comes easy when it’s entirely inappropriate.

  Standing takes some work, his hips don’t want to straighten up and do the job they were built to do. He’s partially hunched, one hand on his lower back when he sees himself in the window. He looks like an old man, groaning as he pulls himself to stand and he makes a mental note to find a personal trainer when he gets home, and to stop standing near reflective surfaces.

  Hoisting his bag onto his shoulder, he shuffles toward the main corridor. The floor is dotted with people who have accepted the long wait ahead, setting up makeshift camps with laptops out and backpacks for pillows. Dan steps carefully through and heads in the opposite direction from how he came, hoping for something better and more interesting than what he found on his way in.

  He’s been poised precariously at the edge of an emotional pit all day. Social exhaustion left him vulnerable and in need of time alone in his own space to refuel. That’s not something he’s gonna get right now so the best he can do is to keep busy, try to stave off boredom and loneliness before they spiral into something darker.

  This side of the terminal has nearly the exact same upscale nonsense as the other side. Just when he thinks he might scream if he sees one more mannequin in resort wear, a beacon of hope appears. A bookstore, and not an Amazon store, or an airport newsstand but a real, honest to god book store. To be honest, he doesn’t really read much, but he wants to. A place like this is only going to attract certain people, people who think, who want more than the few best sellers available at the newsstand.

  It’s small in here, an airport version of a larger, local bookseller, but there are real shelves to walk through and quiet jazz playing. He wanders through the classics, pausing in poetry to pick something up and read a few lines to himself. ...roused up from hole to itching head. Bodies locked shuddering naked, hot lips and buttocks screwed into each other.

  Well, he wasn’t expecting that. He finishes that one and pages through to read a little more.

  “Hello again.”

  Dan nearly jumps out of his skin. He slams the book shut, shoving it onto the shelf haphazardly. Fighting the blush rushing to his face, he folds his arms, defensive. Ready to glare at whoever is to his left, to send a clear signal that he is not in the mood to chat. His head snaps around, eyes narrowed, then he sees him.  

  “Allen Ginsberg, huh? Just a little light airport reading?” It’s him, the hot guy who gave up their seat for a tired mum. He laughs at his own joke before continuing. “He was always a little dark for me. Have you read D.A. Powell?”

  Dan’s eyes are wide as he stammers out a thought. “No, I haven’t read anybody really. I just grabbed a random book. Not really a reader.” Shut up Dan. He knows he sounds like a dick.

  “Well, fancy meeting you in a book store then.” This guy doesn’t seemed fazed by Dan’s weird outburst. “I hate these crowds, don’t you? Also hate being alone though. Just trying to find a happy medium I guess. You want some company?” He’s fidgeting now, nervous, but still doing it, still asking a complete stranger to hang out.

  “Oh um no. Thanks, I’m good, busy. Sorry.” The words stutter out even as Dan is arguing with himself internally. The guy looks a little deflated but he manages a smile before walking off. Dan has no idea why he said no, why he defeats himself like this again and again, why he’s not kinder to himself, even now.

  He’s tired, from residual jet lag and from just living in his head all day. If he doesn’t get some caffeine soon, exhaustion will set in, adding to the dark cloud currently floating above his head. Anyway, if the caffeine doesn’t lift his spirits, coffee shops have a long and storied history for being great places to be sad and alone.

  ***

  There’s one free table. Dan sets his backpack on one of the chairs, ignoring the warning he’s been hearing all day to not leave his bags unattended. He pulls his reusable mug out and soon it’s filled with a steaming hot, mediocre latte. He puts his feet up, headphones in, and searches for an anime to catch up on. As the end credits roll on his third episode, he cracks his neck and looks around, stretching his arms above his head. There’s a long daunting line of people and behind, towering above everyone, a flash of jet black hair.

  Dan thinks maybe he was wrong about how big this terminal is because this guy just keeps popping up. He’s shivering, his hands wrapped tight around the coffee he just picked up and he’s scanning the room. God, he’s really good looking, and tall, no one is ever tall enough. There are no tables left, Dan knows that but he looks over his shoulder anyway. He should talk to him. How often in life do you get a second chance, much less a third? The guy’s eyes move from table to table until they land squarely on Dan.

  Dan wears a a thin, nervous smile but there’s some good solid eye contact. He is really proud of himself for that eye contact. He lifts his feet off the chair opposite him and sits up straight in his chair, gesturing an offer to sit.

  The guy looks the room over one more time and Dan doesn’t blame him. He couldn’t have made the best impression. He doesn’t try to hide his heavy, resigned sigh before weaving through the maze of tables to where Dan sits.

  “This is prime real estate. You sure you don’t want to sell it to the highest bidder?” His teeth are practically chattering as he speaks.

  “I’m a socialist.” Dan says, sipping his latte.

  “You’re in a Starbucks, mate.”

  “I’m at an airport, I’m doing my best.” Dan watches him sit, searching his mind for something to say. It’s been ages since he flirted. Does he even want to flirt? All he knows is this guy is so cute and he’s the sort of person who gives up his seat to a tired mum. Dan’s not sure he even would have noticed her, lost as he’s been in his own mind. And he’s already proven himself patient with Dan’s bullshit.

  “Um, Phil.” Dan says, reading the name written on Phil’s cup. “Your lips are a tad blue. Are you feeling ok?”

  Phil takes a long drink from his cup, wincing because it’s still too hot. He rubs his lips together then cups his hands over his mouth and breathes into them, warming himself. “How do you know my name?”

  Dan reaches over and taps the side of Phil’s cup. “Don’t change the subject. I’m genuinely concerned about your lips.”

  “I have that effect on people. The moment you meet me, you start thinking about my lips.” Phil’s smirk hides behind his cup as he attempts to breathe in the warmth.

  It takes Dan a moment to catch up. He sits staring for a solid three seconds before his eyes crinkle with surprised laughter. It’s the first laugh he’s heard from himself today, the first genuine laugh he’s heard in a while. He’s not totally aware of the way his shoulders drop but he arches his back, stretching again, surprised how much better it feels this time.

  “Also, it’s very cold outside.” Phil sits back in his chair now that the shivering has passed.

  “Outside?” Dan can’t fathom what he means but that but Phil just keeps drinking with a barely discernible nod.

  “Like outside outside? Like where the snow is coming down and blowing sideways?” There is genuine concern in Dan’s voice.

  “Yeah that’s the one.”

  “Why did you have to go outside?”

  “I didn’t have to. I had some time to kill so I made some snow angels.”

  “Why?” Dan’s lip is curled in something that looks more like disgust than he intended.

  “I like snow.” Phil says, unaffected.

  It’s mildly annoying the way he doesn’t see anything unusual about this scenario. Dan sits up abruptly and leans forward. “Ok, so your stranded in the airport for god knows how long and instead of getting a hotel or going to the bar, you went all the way outside, through security, to play in the snow?”

  ”I mean, I actually just went to be in the snow. Catch some flakes on my tongue, see the lights reflect off the white. It’s really settled out there. You can hardly tell it’s an airport loading zone, it’s looks so pretty.” Phil tilts his head as he speaks, looks to the window, even though it only looks out on the ugly airport corridor.

  “There were these little kids watching the snow through the window, they waved at me and I waved back. They had their noses pressed right up to the glass. I was pretending to slip and fall and all that and they were laughing. But then I actually fell, right on my bum. So I made a snow angel for them.” He stands and takes his jacket off, must be warming up a bit. “Just putting it out there, snow angels are the least fun thing to do. I got snow all up inside my jacket and my hands are frozen. Might not be dressed ideally for literally laying in the snow, my ass is soaked to the bone.” He laughs a little to himself as he sits and goes back to sipping.

  Dan’s mouth has dropped open a bit and he stares. He’s pretty sure Phil is the good kind of weird but he studies his features looking for signs to the contrary. All he finds are the prettiest lips and something oddly comforting in the dark centers of his eyes.

Phil’s watching him too, just drinking his coffee and watching, wearing a coy little smile. It’s a reaction to his staring, either judgement or flirting or just a smug acknowledgment that Dan can’t or won’t look away.

  The quiet should be unnerving. Dan has conditioned himself to fill every moment, with sound or image or information. It prevents him from ever really feeling alone, from being alone with his thoughts. It’s not unnerving though, he just feels, calm. He wonders what sort of break through he could have if he wasn’t so afraid of being in his head, if he let his mind wander. It’s then he realizes his mind is wandering now and maybe this is some sort of gentle breakthrough of it’s own.

  “Where’d you go?” Phil asks.

  He hopes his expression hasn’t given away the micro crisis he’s having in his head. Pulled from his introspection, he smiles thinly.

  “Sorry. I tend to drift off during awkward silences.”

  “Awkward? I didn’t think it was awkward,” Phil says. “How often do you get to do nothing like this?”

  Dan shrugs, a little guilty. So much of what he spends his time on feels like nothing.

  “You know, you didn’t have to invite me to sit down. If I’m bothering you…”

  “No, no. I’m sorry.” And he is sorry, really sorry. He wants to be friendly and flirty and easy to talk to. This guy is really sweet and cute and it’s not awkward, not even a little. Dan can’t explain why he always goes on the defense.

  “You aren’t bothering me. I’m just kind of a dick sometimes.” Dan heaves a breath, dredging up some courage and mumbles, “I’m actually really glad you showed up.”

  “I’m sorry, what was that?” Phil says with his hand to ear.

  Dan rolls his eyes and quickly spits out, “I’m glad you showed up cuz I was really bored and we’ll probably be here all night and you’re really nice so thanks for not writing me off when I acted like a twat.”

  “Which time?” Phil asks but he’s smiling. “You’re welcome.”

  It goes quiet again and Phil stands suddenly. “Alright, we need sugar.” He walks off before Dan can protest. Normally, Dan would pick up his phone, cycle quickly through all his social media so he doesn’t miss anything. He gets as far as picking it up but it just sits in his hand unattended. His eyes are otherwise occupied, following Phil’s long legs as they carry him to the pastry case. They’re good legs, pretty legs that end in wide hips and a nice round ass. His lip has somehow found it’s way between his teeth when Phil glances back. There’s a beat before he realizes and looks away, rather conspicuously.

  When Phil returns, he hands Dan a snowman shaped cookie and makes a toast to snow.

  Dan taps his cookie to Phil’s, “we’re toasting to snow? But that’s why we’re stuck here.”

  “Exactly.” Phil says like it’s obvious. Dan savagely rips the head off of his snowman then thanks Phil around his mouthful.

  Phil laughs softly. “Ok, Dan. Snog, marry, avoid. Mario, Link, and… um, the king of all cosmos.”

  “Excuse me, the king of what now?”

  Phil’s eye grow wide, his mouth open in genuine shock. “The king of all cosmos? Do you even video game? Katamari Damacy?”

  “Yeah I know, obviously.” Dan sinks down in his chair a bit. “Kill Mario, marry Link, fuck the king.”

  “Really? You’d kill Mario. I could never do that after everything he’s done for me. Also he’s handy.” Phil takes another bite, speaking through crumbs that he wipes away with his fingers. “He’s literally a plumber. He could fix stuff around the house, total husband material.”

  “Ok fair.” Dan says, “but Link is brave and humble, he’d be a great life partner. And I grew up with him. Also he’s left handed so we could both use the same scissors.”

  “Wow. Nerd alert.”

  Dan sticks his leg out under the table to gently kick Phil’s leg. “Shut up, look who’s talking.” Dan’s voice goes high pitched, mocking. “Oh, Mario’s done so much for me.”

  Phil laughs out loud, a proper laugh, head tipped back, hands clapped together. It’s a good, warm laugh that wraps Dan up like a blanket. Any remaining angst hanging on to the edges of his psyche lose their grip and all that’s left is an unfamiliar contentment.

  “Ok, ok, I think we’ve established we’re both massive nerds.” Phil says, popping the lid off his coffee and dipping his cookie in what’s left.

  Dan is a man of extremes. When his guard comes down, it comes all the way down.

  “And who would you fuck Phil?” He’s hears his own voice in exaggerated slow motion as heat spreads across his cheeks. His palms are sweaty now, his stomach in his throat. What the hell did he just say? This is why we can’t have nice things, Dan.

  Phil seems to be considering his response, slowly sipping from his cup, his lips clearly fighting off a smirk. He catches Dan’s eyes and sucks his bottom lip for a drawn out moment before showing him mercy and moving on.

  “Link, obvs.”

  Dan clears his throat and tries to act natural. “But the king...that package.”

  “I don’t know, I like someone a little younger, not so beefy.” Phil takes a moment then quickly adds, “I’m talking about like, young adult link. Of course.”

  “Of course.”

  If Phil was trying to break the ice, it worked. The conversation flows easy after that. Dan could talk about video games all day, a topic just impersonal enough to loosen him up. Eventually he’s sharing some of his most embarrassing stories, stupid shit he did at uni and the time he got sacked from a DIY shop for selling an axe to a little kid. Phil laughs at every story and Dan is prepared to dig deep into the repressed corners of his mind if he can keep hearing that laugh. And it seems every story he tells earns him an equally embarrassing and far more amusing story from Phil. Dan is literally wiping away tears as Phil tells him all about a squirrel that bit him right in the Florida.

  They both catch their breath when the laughter finally fades and they slip back into quiet. With nothing left to drink, it is a little awkward this time. Dan’s not sure what to do with his hands or where to rest his eyes. He checks his phone.

  “No news?” Phil says to a quick shake of Dan’s head. “You want another round?”

  “I think I’d better switch to herbal tea.”

  Phil moves to grab Dan’s mug but Dan stops him. “Let me. What’s your poison?”

  “Caramel macchiato?” Phil says, a little sheepish and with a nod and as kind a smile as he can muster, Dan walks away.

  “Sweets for the sweet.” Dan says as he sits down and hands Phil his drink. Their fingers brush as Phil takes the cup, his eyes looking softly into Dan’s. It seems Dan isn’t the only one who’s let his guard down.

  The table is small. They’ve both had their legs tucked back this whole time. As he scoots his chair in, Dan’s knees bump Phil’s and it’s clear he’s unfurled them into a more relaxed position. His instinct is to pull back but his body has proven to ignore his better judgement when it comes to this new variable. He lets his foot slide between Phil’s so their legs are slotted perfectly together. Neither of them acknowledge it, holding still to keep from touching more than incidentally.

  The conversation continues and they both open up more than makes sense for strangers in an airport. Nothing feels real anymore, time is suspended with no end in sight. Maybe it’s that or maybe it’s the relief of letting go a little bit or maybe it’s just Phil. Whatever the catalyst, Dan feels safe, not something he feels often.

  Phil talks about his grandma, his brother, his failed attempts at heterosexuality. Dan’s topics are broader but the political is personal to Dan, and Phil seems to understand that. Time stretches and the nods turn thoughtful, the laughter sweeter. Moments of empathy are punctuated with bumps and nudges under the table. When the next lull comes, Phil shifts his weight. Dan watches as he lets his head lean to the wall next to his chair. His eyes look heavy.

  “How can you be tired after all that sugary coffee?” Dan asks, shaking his head.

  “Not tired,” Phil says, “just relaxed.” His legs follow the lean of his body, taking one of Dan’s with him. He hooks a foot around Dan’s ankle, coming to rest there.

  Dan let’s one dimple peek out but he doesn’t move his gaze from Phil. “Comfy?” He asks, with a hint of mirth.

  Phil nods, his crooked lips soft. “This is nice. And I’m enjoying the view.”

  Dan looks over his shoulder. Yep, hideous airport corridor, lots of grumpy people he’d forgotten about entirely. “What view? What are you on about? Are you aware that you often speak in riddles?”

  “I don’t know.” Phil moves Dan’s leg under the table. “I feel like I’ve been pretty clear.”

  Dan’s heart does a somersault and he huffs a nervous laugh. Nervous again after such an easy talk, but it’s a good nervous. The kind that comes from the promise of something good.

  Phil isn’t subtle, he wears a cocky grin that says he knows exactly what effect he’s having. Dan’s feels an urgent need to kiss the smile right off of that smug little mouth. He wants to grab the tip of Phil’s tongue that’s poking through his teeth and pull it. He imagines he’d taste like a coffee milkshake and his mouth waters at the thought. He could spring right across the table, charged as he is. Now they’ve stopped chatting, the energy between them just sits, an electric tether holding them there.

  Dan can’t help his mind going to the physical first, it’s not often he’s this open with anyone, much less someone he just met. Some piece of him wants to grab ahold of that hint of intimacy lest it get away. What he really wants is to just get closer, to wrap his arms around the beautiful friend he’s found and not let go.

  Phil’s phone is vibrating on the table but he doesn’t notice, his focus is on Dan, gaze moving from his eyes to his mouth and back again.

  “Brah, you’re blowing up.” Dan says in far too smitten a tone.

  “Hmm? Oh!” Phil takes a quick peek and puts the phone to his ear. “Hi love. Nah, still here.” He stands, points to the exit to let Dan now he has to take the call, and walks out to lean against a wall of lockers.

  To Dan’s credit, he doesn’t spiral right away. He starts silently rehearsing ways to ask for Phil’s number. He doesn’t even know where he lives, as deep as they got, they kinda bypassed the everyday stuff. Maybe he should just write his own number down and hand it to him. Except he definitely doesn’t have a pen because who carries a pen anymore? He could ask the barista but then they’d know and they’d be watching and it’s hard enough to be bold without an audience much less with one.

  He looks over his shoulder, trying to appear casual. Phil looks so cool leaning like that, beaming and chatting. Dan wonders who he’s talking to, someone close enough to call ‘love.’ It’s taking a while and he looks really happy. Dan realizes Phil never actually said he was single. Sure, he seemed interested but he was just looking to find some company for the wait. This is probably just what friendship looks like to Phil, socially awkward but strangely confident Phil. Of course he’s taken, he’s funny and smart and he listens. He probably has someone waiting for him, someone cool and quirky who reads poetry and plays Katamari Damacy with him. Someone who doesn’t wear plain black jumpers that cost hundreds of pounds even though they were made in China. They probably know he’s a flirt but they don’t care because he’s coming home to them.

  “Sir,” There’s a barista standing at the table. Dan has no idea how long he was lost in thought, ignoring her. “So sorry but we will be closing up in about 5 minutes.”

  “Yeah, ok.” Dan stammers, embarrassed as always. “We’ll, I’ll clear out. Sorry. Thanks.”

  She takes the trash from the table and Dan pulls on his hoodie and backpack. He throws Phil’s jacket over his arm and grabs the handle of his suitcase, rolling it behind him. Phil is humming affirmative responses to whoever is on the line but not talking much. He takes his jacket from Dan with a smile of thanks and a roll of his eyes. He mouths the word sorry.

  Dan waves the word away. He mumbles something about needing to find a place to get some rest though he knows Phil can’t hear. The only thing worse than walking away from this well of potential would be to stand here and fidget, listening while Phil talks with his boyfriend only to have to say an awkward goodbye afterward. He points over Phil’s shoulder at nothing in particular and Phil sort of nods though he looks confused. Dan’s heart has no right to crack like this. He barely knows Phil. That tether though, it’s got some strength to it. He swallows hard and walks past Phil then just keeps walking. He just keeps walking, waiting for the tether to snap.

  He turns the first corner he comes to and finds a lounge. People are curled up asleep on the benches. The sound on the tv is muted. He moves to the far back corner and lays down on the floor, resting his head on his back pack. His headphones are in, a movie queued up on his phone, he’s right back where he started. At least he got to pass the time with someone. It was a nice moment out of reality. So he was attracted to him, it’s not a big deal. He’s attracted to people all the time, it never goes anywhere. There’s no reason it should be different this time, no reason he should feel a dull ache in his chest. It’s totally irrational and unrealistic to think that anything could come of a random meeting like that. It was just a few hours with a friendly stranger.

  Twenty minutes later, just when he’s settled into a position that is almost comfortable, the movie pauses and notification pops up. Dan has been booked on a new flight and if he wants the seat he needs to check in at the gate, like now.

  The waiting area is still full but the settled resignation of earlier in the day has turned to frustrated exhaustion. Blurry eyed travelers stand, gripping their phones, close to the counter, watching for some glimmer of hope that they’ll get home soon. The paper boarding pass in Dan’s hand feel like a winning lottery ticket and he tightens his hold, imagining the vultures who would swoop in if he were to drop it. He knows it’s irrational, he’s booked, the seat is his but he feels undeserving in light of all these folks waiting. He’s looking down, embarrassed at his good fortune, as he turns to find a place to waiting for boarding.

  Two steps forward and he hears him, “Are you kidding me? You’re on this flight?” It’s Phil and he sounds none too pleased to have run into Dan once again.

  “Oh hey Phil.”

  “Hey Phil?!” Phil sounds angry now, his voice low and controlled, “Hey Phil?! Are you mental?”

  That stings. He could deflect, point out the problematic nature of Phil’s choice of language, but he stays quiet.

  “That was bloody rude. I thought you’d gone to find a place to sit but I turned around and you were gone. You could have said a proper goodbye.”

  “You were on the phone.” Dan’s stomach feels sour at the sound of his own voice, his own immature, cowardly voice.

  “Yeah. I was.” Phil’s eyes are right on Dan but he doesn’t meet his gaze, he’s staring at Phil’s shoes. His voice softens, “I was really excited Dan. We have a lot in common and I was gonna get your number and like, you just left.”

  “Well, it’s not like you came to find me.” Dan really wishes he would shut up and stop sabotaging every good thing that happens to him.

  “Came to find you!” It comes out loud, clearly louder than Phil intended as he looks around and clears his throat before speaking again, this time in a loud whisper. “You chatted me up for hours, flirting with me, letting me flirt with you and then left when I was on the phone so you didn’t have to deal with rejecting me!”

  “Sounds like you dodged a bullet then.” Dan says, defeated, “So why bother confronting me?”

  “Because I had a good time, Dan. I really did. A better time than I had any right to with a total stranger.” Phil runs a hand through his hair.

  He does that when he’s frustrated or nervous. He fidgets, he can’t stand still. Dan knows this about him, he learned it along with the fact like he likes his coffee unreasonably sweet and has a stupidly high tolerance for caffeine. He learned that he sticks his tongue between his teeth when he’s delighted and that he’s delighted a lot. He knows that he’s flirty and confident even though he’s clumsy and messy and has a really weird sense of humor. He knows that his weird brand of conversation meshes with Dan’s uncommonly well. He knows he’s unashamed. He’s a lot of things Dan isn’t and the lump in Dan’s throat is rudely pushing him to face the fact that Phil never would have ditched Dan like that.

  Dan swallows hard. “Ok yeah, you’re right. It was really fucking rude of me to leave. I’m sorry. But I wasn’t avoiding rejecting you.” He heaves a sigh, hoping the force of it will push the words out. “I was avoiding being rejected by you.”

  “What? I was so into you. How was that not obvious, Dan?”

  Dan shrugs and mumbles something about a boyfriend on the phone.

  Phil laughs a laugh that’s not at all amused. “That phone call was my friend Louise.” He says flatly, “She literally had a baby today. A fucking baby, Dan. I couldn’t bloody well cut her off in the middle of her birth story.” He flicks fingers through his quiff, laying it down and then picking it back up. “Stomach churning as it was.”

  Dan feels sick. He wonders how long he’s going to let his negative self talk make him miserable. He knows there are things he has to forgive in himself, that he can’t help some of it. But he also know the parts of him he hides behind and he wonders how much his low self esteem would improve if he stopped leaning on it like a crutch. His eyes sting, embarrassment and exhaustion are making all of this seem insurmountable.

  “I’m really sorry Phil.” He tries to look at Phil but turns his head, too aware of his wet eyes. “I got scared and I didn’t think I had a chance with you. I fuck these things up, I told you.”

  With a moment of static, first class boarding is announced.

  “That’s me, Dan. I have to board.” Phil doesn’t sound angry anymore, just tired. “This has been a weird day. We were strangers yesterday. But I know a few things about you now and since we’re standing here, fighting like boyfriends, I’m gonna go ahead and overstep one more time.” He reaches a hand to lay it on Dan’s arm. “It’s a heavy weight you carry around with you. I know how that is, Dan. And I’m telling you from experience, life is so much more enjoyable if you let someone else help you carry it once in a while.”

  With that, he turns and walks to the doors, hands his boarding pass to the attendant, and disappears down the jetway.

  Dan wipes his eyes before they can betray him with actual tears.

  ***

  Sipping his subpar whisky sour, Dan let’s the soothing voice in his ears guide him through step by step relaxation. His legs are heavy and relaxed, the only thing he has to do right now is breathe. In for a count of 5, out for a count of 8, in for a count of 5, out for a count of 8. With every inhale, soft blue healing light spreads through your body. What color is your blue? The color of the sky? The sea? Phil’s eyes. Definitely Phil’s eyes. Dan shifts in his seat, shaking his head as if to dislodge the image from his mind. He takes a long drink of his cocktail, heaves a breath and tries again.

  It’s time to get over it. Soon, he’ll be home and settled back to his routine, alone in his flat, back to real life. He tries to do to follow the voice, to do the breathing thing. When a thought enters your mind, acknowledge it, without judgement and let it go. There are a million thoughts in his mind and a million judgements. That was a dick move. He was really great and you just ditched him. Why are you such a coward? You can stop thinking about him now.

  With a rather violent jab of his finger, he quits the app, switching to music. He shoots back the rest of his drink and closes his eyes but regret gnaws at him until his stomach is an empty pit, twisting a constant reminder that he’s lost something.

  He’d walked past Phil’s row on his way to his seat, carefully avoiding eye contact. He looked sad, this would be easier if he’d stayed angry. At the risk of looking like a dejected lover in a romantic comedy, he makes the rash decision to go talk to Phil. Before he thinks too deeply, he throws off his seatbelt and moves to stand, only to find himself face to face with a stern looking flight attendant.

  “I’m sorry sir, but I’ll need you to take your seat. With this turbulence, we have to ask that you stay seated and buckled for the duration of the flight or until the safety light is switched off.”

  “Oh, um. My friend is in first class and he gets really frightened on planes.” He searches his mind for a story that will elicit some sympathy. “I’m really worried about him with this turbulence. Can I just go check on him please?”

  “I’m afraid not, sir. I apologize but it’s for everyone’s safety.”

  Dan presses his lips together, accepting his fate but just as she walks away, he speaks up again, “Oh, excuse me.” She turns with a forced hospitable grin and looks at Dan expectantly. “What about a drink? Can I buy him a drink? Send it to his seat. His name’s Phil, third row window seat, handsome, black hair.”

  “If he’s in first class, his drinks are complimentary, sir.”

  “Oh.” Dan looks down at his hands. “Then can you just bring him one? Say it’s from Dan?”

  There’s a long exhale that reveals just how long her night has been before she nods gently and says, “What sort of drink did you have in mind?”

  “Do you have hot chocolate?” Dan smiles up at her, grateful for her patience. His dimples really do come in handy at moments like this.

  A tiny smile blooms on her overworked face and she leans in a bit closer, “Ok, hot chocolate from Dan. I’ll bring him an extra blanket too.”

  With his hand to his heart, he thanks her, it means it more than she could know. The next thing he’s aware of is the same flight attendant’s hand on his shoulder, waking him up. The flight is descending and he needs to turn off his electronics.

  By the time he’s shuffling down the aisle, first class has long since departed. Dan walks quickly, ready to be done with airports and travel and new people and places. He’ll get a car, headphones in, and soon he’ll be curled up in bed. He can sleep all day. There’s nothing he’s late for, no one waiting for him.

  It’s terribly bright outside and Dan is personally insulted. He was counting on London gloom to validate his mood. He pauses next to the taxi queue, eyes on his phone, music in his ears, calculating the benefit of getting an Uber over jumping into one of these waiting cabs.

  “Dan!”

  “What the fuck!” Dan jumps, his heart races off down the road without him and he pulls his headphones off.

  Phil giggles behind his hand. His other, on Dan’s shoulder, is warm and heavy and works wonders to calm Dan’s flight or flight freak out.

  “Sorry. I said hi like three times.” Phil says, trying to curb his laughter. “Maybe you should turn your music down, mate.”

  “Maybe you shouldn’t sneak up on people.” He’s reeling from exhaustion and emotional whiplash.

  “Thanks for the hot chocolate. And the blanket.” He moves to rub the back of his neck in a classic display of Phil nerves.

  “No problem. Hope it made your first class seat tolerable, you poor soul.”

  “Hey.” Phil’s smile is so subtle it’s barely there, his eyes fixed on Dan’s, “I like nice things.”

  They stay like that, inches apart, just looking at one another. It’s freezing out here but neither of them can feel it.

  “You wanna share a car? I’m in north London.” Phil hasn’t looked away, he sounds like he’s talking to himself, his voice quiet and directed nowhere in particular. Dan nods and they both turn. The guy managing the line ushers them into a cab, taking Phil’s luggage and Phil gives the driver his address. It makes sense for Dan to be dropped off first but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t want to be the one walking away this time.

  “Did you have a good flight?” Phil asks, small talk seems the only way out of this tension.

  “It was ok. You?”

  “Yeah. I mean, first class.” Phil worries his lip and Dan can’t take it anymore. He can’t take the unknowns and the regret and the stupid magnetic attraction he feels toward this person. He’s looking right at Phil’s mouth, it must be so obvious, and he’s telling himself, do it, just do it. His heart is in his throat, his stomach in knots, sensations that usually elicit a firm nope from Dan. His stock reaction to this fear is to run but he can’t run, they’re in the back of a taxi right now. If Phil pushes him away, he’ll just get out and take a bus. Dan’s breath is coming out in huffs, still watching Phil’s pink mouth as his lip slips free of his teeth.

  A hand comes to rest on Dan’s leg, just above his knee. He startles a little and his eyes jerk quickly down to make sure he didn’t imagine it. The tether is taught, it’s either gonna break or he needs to grab hold of it and pull, hard.

  So he does.

  He leans forward too fast, his lips collide with Phil’s too forcefully, but Phil slides his hand behind Dan’s neck and leans into him till they find a perfect balance. Soft but urgent, they push against each other, Phil’s tongue dipping in between Dan’s teeth. Just enough to connect them but with room for so much more. They move with each other, unhurried until they feel the car pull to the curb and hear the driver clear his throat.

  “One second.” Phil says as they pull apart, “let me get my bag.” He hands the driver his card and opens his door, climbing out to wait for his luggage to be retrieved from the boot. Dan gets his phone out and sets up a contact for Phil to fill in. He leans into the open door but before he can speak, Phil crouches down.

  “You coming?”

  “Sorry?” Dan replies.

  “Are you coming up?” Phil always seem to think people just know what he’s talking about.

  “Up? To your flat?”

  Phil nods, “Everytime I lose sight of you, you run off. I think I’d like to keep you close if it’s all the same to you.”

  “Don’t you need to sleep?”

  “Yeah, and so do you.” Phil says, matter factly, “So come sleep. With me.”

  Dan could honestly say that nothing has ever sound better.

  *****

  It’s been a long time since he woke up next to a stranger. It’s been a long time since he woke up next to anyone, unless you count Colin, Dan’s family’s dog who shared his bed when he went home for Christmas. It’s a little alarming at first, feeling an arm draped over his middle as he makes the slow climb to consciousness. Reality sets in as his eyes blink open and survey unfamiliar surroundings. The room is unmistakably Phil, the plants, the books, the sentimental trinkets. It’s welcoming and homey, this is exactly how Dan would have pictured Phil’s room. It is odd to feel like he knows this stranger so well. He’s not a stranger though, not really.

  Gently, Dan lays his hand over the one resting against his belly. The body behind him is solid, pressed up tight. There’s so much intimacy in spooning. He closes his eyes, willfully rejecting any evidence of daytime that might be streaming through the window. He wishes it would snow now, right here in London; a wild, never before seen blizzard that would strand him here in this flat. The whole city would shut down, lives would be disrupted, but it all sounds worth it if it meant he could stay here just a little while longer. Maybe if he’s very still, his big spoon won’t wake up. He really hopes he doesn’t. If he wakes up, they’ll both be thrust out of the liminal space where they found each other and into purpose and schedules and wretched real life.

  There’s a sleepy huff of a breath against his neck, and the arm around him pulls tighter for a moment. It might just be his dire need for human connection but this feels so good, being held like this. He wants to turn over so he can look at his face, nuzzle into his neck, wrap his arms around him, but he won’t risk bringing all of this to an end.

  “You’re warm.” Phil’s voice is a low rumble against Dan’s back. It reminds him of the furnace coming on in the early mornings when he was kid, the promise of comfort that would stay even when he threw the blankets off. “What time is it?”

  “Almost 2.” Dan says after reaching to the bedside to tip his phone into view.

  Phil hums his acknowledgment and snuggles in closer, inhaling deeply with his nose tucked into the short hairs at the back of Dan’s head. “You smell like my shampoo.”

  Dan is still but for his fingers. They push between the one’s underneath them and curl around to ensure that hand is staying put.

  “Do you need to get up?” There’s a squeeze in his heart as he asks until he senses Phil shaking his head no behind him.

  “Don’t go.” Phil says, so quietly it takes Dan a second to register. “It’s not enough yet.”

  “Not enough sleep?” Dan asks.

  “Just not enough.” Phil says and Dan feels a quick, soft kiss on the back of his neck.

  “Go back to sleep, Phil,” Dan replies, calm spreading over him, a lightness he hasn’t experienced in so many years. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Soon, the embrace isn’t quite so tight and the breathing behind Dan is slow and steady. Sleep won’t come back so quickly for Dan, it’s just not how he operates. The sound of Phil breathing becomes a meditative soundtrack and he replays the last 24 hours, finding the moments, committing the details to a deeper place in his memory. There’s a small voice in his head that says he’ll want to tell this story later.

End.