#we have a lot of joke hcs that i think would be funny if they were serious

[paul-newmans-sauce]

i forget which episode this was, but when jimmy and kim were talking about replacing howards toilet paper with a shitty roll and saying “hit him where he lives” did he basically just say howard has ibs or something ?? ibs rep from howard himself ?? 

[arolesbianism]

If I ever do get properly into dst character modding I like have to make an oni character mod at some point, but the issue is Id want it to be an Olivia mod so bad but also Nails is as far as I'm aware the only legal character name wise and as such it feels like it has to be them, y'know for the bit. But also I have already written too much Olivia dst dialogue and I need an excuse to use it damnit

[inlovewithpandora]

- His Precious Tawtute -

Pairing: Ao’nung x fem!human!reader

Request: [ @teyamsbitch ] one being shorter and it being a source of great enjoyment for the other w/ Ao'nung || I feel like Ao'nung would have a field day knowing he can tower over us and use our head as an armrest and we act like we don't like it but we do anything to be near him.

Synopsis: Ao’nung wasn’t too fond of you when you first arrived with the Sullys’ especially since you were human but when he got to know you he was head over heels.

Content: Established relationship, extra fluffy, subtle spicy scenarios, soft Ao’nung, them being couple goals, just some cute hc’s

- The group = the Sully kids, Ao’nung, Tsireya and Rotxo

Author’s Note: Thank you for requesting, I had a lot of fun writing this because I love soft Ao’nung! I hope it fulfills your expectations and that you enjoy!

- I loved making these hc’s so feel free to request them!

Word Count: 712

Glossary: syulang - flower || tawtute - human

Extra: Requests are open! Please read rules before requesting! || Likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated🩷!

Links: Navigation || Avatar Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Taglist

❖ — When Ao’nung saw you for the first time, he held a dislike for you because you were a “demon”. After everything his mother told him about the sky people, he assumed that you were the same. He was cold toward you in the beginning, but with a mix of your beauty and charming personality, he began to grow feelings for you and soon after, you both became a couple.

❖ — The first thing he noticed about you was your height. In his eyes, you were the height of a child, which always caused him to crack some type of joke that you didn’t find funny or amusing.

“You are so little, I could literally crush you.”

“How are you and Tuk almost the same height?!”

❖ — He thought your height was an advantage for some things and one of them was ‘spicy time’.

“You are eye level with my waist, that will come in handy when you suck my-” Your eyes widen at his comment and you hit him in the chest, forcing him to not finish his sentence. “Shut up, skxawng! That’s all you think about!”

❖ — Whenever you and the group hang out, somehow his arm always manages to rest on your head. He saw you as his “personal armrest” and he took advantage anytime both of you were standing next to each other. You always tell him that he’s being annoying, but deep down you love him being comfortable with you in that aspect.

❖ — When both of you talked, you always had to look up to him, which gets aggravating at times when your neck starts to hurt. Ao’nung noticed this, so sometimes when both of you talk, he’d sit down and let you stand so both of you will be at eye level.

❖ — Walking around the village would be tiring for you at times especially since everyone around you had bodies more equipped for the environment. Whenever you began to lag behind, Ao’nung became your mode of transportation.

“Do you want me to carry you the rest of the way?”

Ao’nung would let you get on his back and he would take you wherever the destination was, which you appreciated because you didn’t know how much longer you were going to last.

❖ — When he started teaching you the way of water, you were eager, but it was hard for you, being human in a Na’vi environment wasn’t easy. Whenever you were having doubts or he heard you mumble about giving up, he was right there encouraging you (sometimes with spicy incentives).

“You got this, syulang! I’m right here with you.”

“If you hold your breath a little longer this time, when we finish our lesson, I’ll take you to my marui and do that thing you like.” He ends his sentence in a singsong tone and a small smirk on his face knowing that his words would motivate you.

After he said that, you held your breath twice the time you did before. Ao’nung was so proud of you that he couldn’t wait to take you home. He carried you into a secluded area of the jungle and happily rewarded you for breaking your record.

❖ — Whenever you and him held hands he made sure not to squeeze your hand too tight because he didn’t want to crush you. He always made sure to treat you delicately because he knew how fragile humans were to Na’vi.

“Ao’nung, can you give me a real hug? I haven’t seen you all day.”

“I don’t wanna squeeze you too tight or I’ll hurt you.”

❖ — Whenever you spend the night in his marui, both of you would cuddle together and you would have the best time being the little spoon. Feeling his big arms curled around your small waist, burying your head in his broad chest, him every so often giving your skin a soft kiss made you want to melt instantly. Him being so affectionate and gentle with you was hands down one of the things you loved most.

❖ — He loves you and your human body and wouldn’t trade you for anyone on Pandora. The only person he wants is you. You were his precious tawtute and he loved you with every fiber in his body.

I hope you enjoyed🩷!

Previous Fic

Editor - @justmemyselfandthemoon

Tags: @iluvpandorawomen @kasai-https @neteyamsblog @neteyamyawne @hc-geralt-23 @myh3artttt @savagemickey03 @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @number1gal @headsincloud9 @jane-3043 @yetanotherattemptatanaccount

©️inlovewithpandora ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 | All rights reserved. Do not repost, reupload, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

[ssparksflyy]

hii, this is my first time requesting and I’m not very good with English, so I’m a bit nervous but, I read the Leo Valdez x daughter of Athena and I loved it! So could I request for some general headcanons for Leo Valdez x daughter of Athena? Totally okay if you don’t have time or anything!

thank you so much 💗💗🥰

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

leo valdez dating hcs ! ° ༘⋆₊˚ෆ

pairing: leo valdez x daughter of athena!reader warning(s): none!! a/n: hii! tysm for requesting! i hope u enjoyed this, i love writing leo w a child of athena cause i can finally talk abt his smarts !!

nerd alert!!

its ok tho cause you guys are always able to help each other out when u have an issue with wtv ur working on

leo asks u for advice and ur opinions whenever hes working on a project

i feel like leo would be popular bcs he's a mf social butterfly

which means he knows everything abt everyone

that's why his hair is so big, its full of secrets

so while ur mapping out a plan for the next capture the flag game, you'll ask him if he thinks your plan could work based on how well people know each other

like ur not gonna put 2 ppl with beef by each other, cause then they'll end up fighting each other and not focus on the game

yk? yk.

ur smarts definitely compliment each other, and ut always trying to learn more about each other's interests

leo's definitely picked up some books in ancient greek about battle techniques and architecture

as have you on mechanical engineering

sometimes at the end of the day, when ur laying on the couch in bunker nine together, he'll ask you questions on architecture, just to hear u talk about things ur passionate about

he just loves seeing ur eyes light up and adores the way you practically talk with your hands as well

call me maybe crazy

but

athena would actually kinda like him ?!

she doesnt appreciate his constant jokes

but she thinks hes smart ( bcs he is ) and knows he makes u happy

hephaestus also rlly likes you

he likes anybody who shows his kids love lowkey

which means he likes you extra

if u were ever to get married, leo would 100% make your engagment ring, but hephaestus would me the one who would make you two the most beautiful wedding rings

its his way of showing he cares as a father

all of cabin 9 loves you

i feel like cabin 6 and 9 (omg 69) were already good friends, so they were ecstatic when they heard their fav mfs finally got together

i feel like in the flirting era it was a lot of spending time together, but just being unable to confess your feelings

now you still spend a bunch of time together, but dont rely on longing glaces and lingering touches

leo is the touchiest mf we all know this

but when u touch him?? the boy is in shambles

this sound a little strange but i promise i dont mean it like that

like yea he loves holding ur hand and kissing your knuckles

but when you kiss his knuckles?? hes a flustered mess

when he cups your cheek and you kiss the palm of his hand, he goes craaazzzyyyy

bouncing off the walls nd everything

he loves it when you tell him random little facts nd shit

ur literally his google

his go-to when he has a question

hes super proud of his smart gf ok ??

leo and percy actually get closer when you start dating

cause now they can both obsessively talk abt their genius gfs

and theyve evolved from the "my gf is smarter" "no my gf is smarter" fights

you and annabeth used to find their fights funny tho

annabeth is literally so supportive :))

she trusts leo and knows he makes you happy and has also obvi noticed how u light up his world

she still plays a semi-protective big sister role

like if shes leo getting a little to close, she'll shoot him one of her warning looks, and he'll move a little further away

but other than that she literally loves u guys :)

morse code is used quite often with you two

especially at night, when you dont want to break the comfortable silence, so you tap messages onto each other's backs.

or when your in a crowded room

or when your talking shit

before you met leo, you had only known a little bit of morse code but as you became closer, he taught you more nd more ♡

he loves it when you read to him

ur like his personal podcast

when you finsh reading a book together, u both write reviews about the book and have them all in a little notebook ♡

leo is for sure the type of guy to take pictures of you 24/7, 365

he has his all time favs taped up by his bunk in cabin nine and ofc has some of his bulletin board in bunker nine

he has the rest saved in a box, along with a bunch of other trinkets from dates u went on :))

you have a box like this yourself, filled with pictures of him, trinkets, and metal flowers he's made you ♡♡

oh and you for sure have a spot

you stumbled acrosss it while on your way to bunker nine and showed it to leo immediately

its a small clearing in the trees, where the sun shines through the leaves, and theres a small patch of flowers ♡

u have most of ur dates there, it ur special little place

leo is literally ur most perfect scholar bf fr ♡

a/n pt.2 : heyyy, i hope u enjoyed these hcs!! im trying out hair rollers overnight rn so its a little hard 2 lay down but we will manage! also heres a leo x child of athena moodboard that i did for my event :) anyway, have a good day/night!!

peace from manhattan,

percy jackson ♡

[pigcowboys]

Hi I hope you're having a wonderful day <3

I was wondering if you could maybe do percy jackson with a daughter of nyx where they are basically the same person personality wise and have a lot of common interests ( sorry self indulging here🤭). They basically both kin each other lmao

THANK YOU <3

pairing: ꒰percy jackson x nyx! female! reader꒱⋆·˚

summary: general hcs for percy with a nyx! s/o

warning(s): mutual pining, nonsensical bickering, mentions of injuries & kisses

a/n: HIII OMG THIS REQUEST IS SO CUTE :)) i tried my best to do what you requested!! i hope you like it!!

request are closed!

literally off the bat i can see the two of you at each other's throats all the time.

you're just too alike there's no way there's not gonna be bickering man.

"i think we should use a different design."

"who put you in charge?"

"the voices in my head, actually"

"literally what."

i imagine percy kind of being put off by you when he'd first get to camp half-blood like

who are you.

i mean it isn't like he's TRYING to be mean, you're just so annoying sometimes yk.

then i feel like one night he'd sneak out of camp to go stargazing and find you near the shore in his spot.

lowkey annoyed by your presence at first but still proceeds to gaze with you silently. you'd strike up a conversation with him and it'd actually go a lot better than he expected it to go.

okay, maybe you're not that bad.

he'd start to approach you more at camp but like not for any reason at all yk. he just enjoys talking to you, i guess.

probably would be overjoyed when he finds out you have similar interests as him.

you two probably stay up all night talking about the most random stuff.

honestly, those talks are probably the moment when he realizes he..like likes you.

you're just chilling and talking about random shit and he laughs at one of your jokes and has to take a moment because he realized that you're honestly just the best person ever.

and then from that point on he's honestly kind of a mess.

you're so cool to him for some reason?? you'd just be living life and he'd probably just be in the background observing you with big ass heart eyes.

"is there something on my face, perce?"

"huh? uh no, what?"

he knows he likes you but just doesn't know how to say it?? i mean, do YOU even like him back..??

aghhhh it's honestly so draining to him.

he's not shy. just kind of stupid when it comes to feelings.

probably tried to "woo" you somehow by buying you ocean related stuff whenever you go out together.

played it off as him just having some change.

he is willing to go bankrupt for you.

i feel like one day he just got tired of dropping hits and just decided to go for it cause like, you've known each other for a minute.

he'd meet you at that star gazing spot and literally just spill all his feelings for you.

"don't say anything but what if i told you you're an amazing person and probably the coolest person i've ever met in my life and that i'm literally head over heels for you because you're smart and funny and pretty and you're just the best?"

"what?"

and you start dating!! woo!!

HES SO SWEET!!!

once you start dating he def gets a bit more of a confidence boost.

always boasting about the fact he's dating you like everyone else doesn't already now from the way he's always clinging to you.

and if you're not into physical touch no worries!! he's completely and totally fine with it!! probably asks permission to give you hugs and hold your hand.

beach dates.

you'd be that one sappy couple who interlocking hands and walks down the beach together UGHH

he would def be the type of guy to go to you after every quest so you can patch him up. do you even know how to patch him up?? probably not! can't he just use some ambrosia?? yes.

doesn't mean he won't stop.

"percy, what the fuck happened!?"

"what do you mean?? :)"

kind of scared of your mother but would never admit it to your face.

i feel like he'd make some kind of big plan to try and kiss you but it'd ultimately fail.

he'd pull up to you with some beautiful ass flowers with a big grin on his face.

would take you to some really secluded spot that he'd decorated with a bunch of different things and homemade food!! (sally helped him.)

things would be going good till it starts to rain.

not that it's a problem for him at all but it kills the freaking mood.

"i'm so sorry.."

"for what?"

"how this turned out, it was supposed to be this big and..romantic thing."

"it's okay, we can have other dates."

"no like..i wanted us to kiss."

"..."

"..."

"who says we can't right now..?"

"oh."

he's in heaven when you finally kiss for the first time!! you're literally so amazing like wtf he got so lucky.

from that point on you two are locked in for life.

he's everywhere you are, you're everywhere he is NO MATTER WHAT.

he's so in love.

[vivgst]

COD Headcanons

I mean they're not hc it's just shit I think they say/do but I needed the title okay?

As I previously said this is just my silly little opinion, I would love to read yours but don't take this too personal and I'm saying this cause Imma bout to write SHIT about two characters and I'm scared cause they're loved by the whole fandom.

Okay thats all thanks<3333

Let's start with my favorite piece of shit, shall we?

Alejandro Vargas

I don't care what yall say this man is a CHEATER and he would make you feel guilty about it too because you're not "meeting his needs".

“I’m not sexist???? We cannot do the same things, it's basic biology!”

Maybe he's good in bed, let's give him that.

Alain meza said he loved Rudy so let's assume he's bi, uh... he wouldn't admit that shit, not in a million years, probably would get offended if you even dare to suggest it.

He doesn’t argue to fix things, he argues to repeat how much in the right he is, I feel like he NEVER admits he’s in the wrong, he seems very stubborn.

Now can we address that fucking temper of his? Breathe mf, no ones gonna die if you stop yelling for a second.

I feel like he must’ve had A LOT of trouble when he just joined the army because of his anger issues, think about it for a moment: someone with a higher rank yelling at him and you think he just took it? I doubt it.

MUST HAVE fought with Valeria more than once cause that temper of hers is just as shitty.

I promise I don’t hate him, well I do but he’s one of my favs, I don’t know how to explain this bye.

Simon Riley

He’s very chill I love him <3

I think of him like a very nostalgic man, he thinks a lot about his past, past lovers, past experiences, when he was new in the army, you know? Not in a “I’m still traumatized” way, he’s just nostalgic.

He’s absent minded, he’s always daydreaming (when he’s not doing something important ofc).

Thin and I don’t fucking care, THAT MAN IS THIN, you can even see it sometimes!!!! He’s got chicken legs, I love them.

He really seems to enjoy dad jokes.

He cares a lot about his teammates and I love it, it’s very cute.

Can we talk about how everyone put him as a fucking beast in bed? I don't see it, I think he's ruthless when he needs to but I don't think this applies when it comes to sex, he suffered a lot too and sadly I know too well that sex is pretty fucking terrible after rape, especially because you feel like you're gonna hurt the person you're having sex with so...

John MacTavish

Typa guy everyone loves, even your dad and your grandma's always saying how handsome he is.

Maybe he was bullied bc of his accent but he just told them to go fuck themselves.

Caring and loving, buys his partner flowers and their favorite candy/chocolates/desserts.

Remembers anniversaries, birthdays, medical or school appointments.

Too charismatic and funny.

Kyle Garrick

He’s too good for his own good… I feel like he always end up going out with INSANE people, the jealous type, they’re always bitching and making him angry and stressed but he forgives them cause he’s an angel.

Very sweet, loves cooking for people he loves.

Kinda family oriented.

He smells good, I can almost smell his perfumeeeeee he smells good, he spends MONEY on it too.

Even the devil is afraid of him when he’s mad.

I think he's very private about his life in general, doesn't like to vent his problems.

Hot lover.

John Price

Now this man is a FATHER, my fucking dad I swear.

He seems pretty conservative to me, not in a bad way like he wants you to be his personal maid and slave, more like he wants to date to marry, hates casual sex.

Loves whiskey.

Dad energy, he would be so caring and loving with his child, he would give that baby the moon.

I don’t think he would love to date a younger woman, not a woman in her twenties at least, I think he would be into women his age.

If you feel disappointment by that, maybe you could try fixing your relationship with your dad, sweetheart ;).

Hates confrontation and loves to work things out.

Let’s not talk about how sex with be with the old man, okay? Thanks.

He's not that old, I get that but he looks like he's fucking 68.

Phillip Graves

He looks kinda daddy in that pic, not gonna lie.

“How come you don’t want to have sex? What about me? Have you thought about how that makes me feel? If your head hurts, sex would help but you never consider me, I’ll sleep in the couch”.

A selfish, self-centered bitch, only thinks about himself.

Feeling good having sex with him? Aw baby, try again cause this mf would use you like a damn toy and he couldn’t care less about your feelings or how much pain you’re in.

Cheater, he wouldn’t even be quiet about it. “Oh you want to divorce me? And where are you gonna go, sugar? You’re nothing without me”.

Doesn’t fucking know where the clit is, he doesn’t have a fucking clue.

Of course straight, loves to be white and American.

“Of course I can say whatever I want, I’m from America I have freedom of speech”.

Fuck you graves.

Rodolfo Parra

Perfect.

He seems so sweet and kind and considerate I love him.

Smart as hell, probably got the best grades when he was a kid.

Doesn’t hate anyone, no one hates him.

Loves nature and animals but he can’t enjoy it too much cause he is always busy.

Dreams about having a big family and a dog (a golden, probably).

Forget about having rough sex UNLESS he’s mad (fr mad like losing his shit but that doesn’t happen frequently).

Could be a teacher if he wasn’t in the army, he’s very patient and can explain things easily.

Have a pretty smile.

Valeria Garza aka MAMI

Feels like she needs to prove something, she was underestimated for so long in the army that now she’s always trying to prove to herself how badass and good at her job she is.

Almost no one knows the real Valeria, her favorite things, music taste, if she prefers cold or hot, coffee or tea etc.

She hates cold weather with all her MIGHT.

Likes to smoke only when she’s stressed.

Likes animals but thinks they’re so much work and she doesn’t have the time.

Did drugs once and hated it.

Feels guilty when she spots a church but she WOULD NEVER admit this shit to anyone.

Used to the worst of life so she didn’t like when someone is kind with her, is like “tf am I supposed to do with it???” but she gets used to it eventually.

I don’t think she has anger issues but def she doesn’t fucking know how to regulate her emotions, she lets stress take over her.

She would love a narcowife, kind of woman who wears a lot of beachy dresses and have a shitty personality like her (like Kate del Castillo in La Reina del Sur or in Bad Boys, exactly that kind of narcowife) (I’m kinda projecting, sorry lol).

I can’t picture her with a sweet girl and I think a sweet girl wouldn’t be able to handle that woman.

She keeps arguing even though she realized she’s in the wrong.

She wouldn't be able to spend a lot of time with her S.O, she's such a workaholic.

I don't think she likes to wear men clothes.

I don't think she hates kids but I can't picture her with kids.

Wouldn't divorce once she's married.

Btw I didn’t want to make this too sexual bc lately this fandom is full of just that, too much smut, too much violence and rape in the smut and it’s so graphic that I feel I’m watching instead of reading wtf, its uncomfortable and I honestly can’t picture the characters being that violent and vile.

As I said in my previous hcs… these guys are surrounded by violence, stress and blood every day, I personally don’t think they wanna get home to torture their partners (well, maybe graves cause he is a piece of shit that mf. Okay kidding, not even Graves is that much of a bastard).

[phntmeii]

If you write for e42 miles could you write some hcs for him

♡ Dating Earth-42 Miles Morales Headcanons:

❝ I'm Miles Morales. But you... you can call me the Prowler. ❝

[SFW + Fem Terms Used]

A/N: That accent went crazy for the movie ngl. I’m so hyped for more of him ahhsidjs. Sorry for this one being a tad shorter just because we didn't get to see enough of this ver. of Miles </3 Also, requests are open ofc :) ty anon!!

🕸️ This version of Miles is much more serious about his work and how busy he can be. He didn’t think he had time to look for someone.

🕸️ Then, there was you. Miles couldn’t take his eyes off of you, just watching as you passed by. He’s having an internal conflict because he doesn’t want to invest himself in someone just to lose them but he can’t stop thinking about you.

🕸️ So he ends up defaulting to just watching you from afar for a while to try and learn what's special about you. And with each day, that feeling grows until he just one day does it and talks to you.

🕸️ He's confident but quiet. A lot of his sentences are short and to the point. He looks down at you as you talk, keeping his eyes on yours. He's giving his full attention to you.

🕸️ He also does the thing of having his hands in his pockets and leaning down to hear you better. He knows exactly what's he's doing.

🕸️"Shit... desculpa, ma... didn't hear you. Say it again for me?"

🕸️ I think this version of Miles would be the least obvious with his feelings at first. Half the time you can't tell if he's actually into you or not because he seems disinterested most of the time but when he's in his room, he's sat listening to love songs and picturing different scenarios with you.

🕸️ His mother taught him right so when he does ask you out, it's not a casual text of "will you be my girlfriend" or something basic like that. He's taking you out at night to somewhere with a nice view where he has your favorite flowers, then he asks.

🕸️ He isn't too big into PDA. Not because he doesn't love giving you his attention but because Miles is a very chill and settled guy in public.

🕸️ Most of his "PDA" are small things like hand holding and whispering romantic things into your ear.

🕸️ Yes, many of his pet names and flirty comments will be in Spanish just because he knows you like it. He usually defaults to "mami" or "mamas" when talking to you.

🕸️ Once he's more comfortable, he likes to be a tease because he knows it sets you off especially if you're busy. He'll just open up your window and sneak in while you're doing your work just to feel you.

🕸️ He'll have a dumb grin as you smack him away, putting his hands up in surrender. "Ay, lo siento, mami... Didn't know my girl was so focused."

🕸️ There are some times where he just sweeps you away from your work any way because he wants to spend time with you. He'll never admit to being clingy despite doing that.

🕸️ Definitely the type to do shit just to try and piss you off cause he thinks he’s funny. He’ll rest his arm on top of your head, make jokes when he sees you’re annoyed and act like he’s the one wearing the pants in the relationship to friends when in reality, he’s all too obsessed with you and treats you like royalty.

🕸️ In public, acting like the man, meanwhile in private, he’s all “yes ma’am omw o7”. LMAO

🕸️ Miles can instantly tell when you're in a bad mood. A slight change in the way you text and he's already thinking about how to fix it.

🕸️ "good morning mamas 💜" "morning" "tf is 'morning'?? nah, start over." "what?" "my girl not starting the day like this. im coming over."

🕸️ Miles' main Love Languages are: Quality Time and Words of Affirmation.

🕸️ Miles needs to be around you which is why he'll sneak off to see you. It doesn't matter if you're busy with something, he'll just watch you and keep you company as you do it. (Although, he might try and distract you.)

🕸️ He’ll let you do his skincare or do his hair (if you know how) but he’ll likely complain the whole time even if there’s no reason to.

🕸️ Like he’ll complain about not being able to touch his face when he has a face mask on or that you’re being too rough when doing his hair even though he loves when you do this for him (He’s being dramatic.)

🕸️ “Ay- Shit! You havta fuckin’ pull that hard?” “You want your braids to look good or not?” “I want to have hair by the end of this.” *proceed to smack the side of his head with a brush*

🕸️ He’s definitely a flirty guy. He’ll text you suggestive messages when he knows you’re in public or at a family event just to mess with you. He’ll also send super romantic paragraphs to you over text when he knows you’re asleep.

🕸️ There is no insecurities allowed about yourself when you’re with Miles. The moment he hears self doubt, he’s showering you with praise because his girl is perfect in his eyes. There is no one else but her.

🕸️ "baby. i feel ugly today" "ugly?? tf are u on?" "i just feel idk like gross" "mami don't start allat. u know ur too fucking gorgeous to think like that." He then sends several 1-3 min voice messages freaking out to you about how lucky he is so you know that it is impossible for you to be "ugly" in his eyes.

⤷ divider credits: @cafekitsune

[salaciousdoll]

Trading Places- Multi JJK Men

━━ ༉⁩༊⁩ Pairings : Geto, Gojo, Sukuna, Toji, Hiromi, and Nanami x Cloned! Fem!reader

━━ ༉⁩༊⁩ Encapsulation : if she won’t remove herself, you’ll do it

━━ ༉⁩༊⁩ Tw : Smut, Dacryphilla, Somnophillia, Dub-Con, Dark!content, vi0lence, G0re( just a little), cigarette smoking, latex gloves used for pussy inspection, anal play, pet names, pussy eating, dick sucking, plot with smut, story turned to HC’s, double penetration, Gojo and Geto are bi-sexual here, mxm( just in geto/ Gojo part), squirting, split-tongue Sukuna, assimilating to the pass wife life, clone mention, dr*g mentions( only in the backstory), lube use, house wife reader, chubby reader hint, just overall smutty headcannons.

━━ ༉⁩༊⁩ WC : 4.5k

18+ Barbies Allowed

This idea was in my mind for some time, but I thank @toji-bunny-girl for coming to me for her kinktober collab, it was a honor to join

You envied your doppelgänger or should you say “ clone”. She had everything you desired and more. She had seven men fawning over her and obeying at her feet so why couldn’t you have that. Was it because of her smile? Was it because the way her feet graced the earth’s surface so celestially?

She physically and emotionally irks you because she got the life that you deserved. You were an complete bitch to everyone. You had a reason, it was your own reason too. Whether it was extreme or simple, it’s the reason behind your atrocious behavior towards everyone.

You manipulated a lot of people in order to get your way so manipulating her and her men will be as easy as cutting a piece of pie . Maybe you should hang her organs as Halloween decorations in front of their lawn, but that would be too extreme. You couldn’t do that to the “nicest woman” you have ever seen from a distance. You constantly watched her and you’re doing it now while she walked with a polka dot sundress on with black flats surrounding her feet. God! Did she have terrible taste in clothing, it was almost pitiful to see her dress like a common woman in the 1950s era. She radiates housewife energy and you hoped once you took her place, you didn’t have to become a housewife like her. Deep down you know that the thought is ludacris on your end.

They liked her for what exactly? What did she have that you didn’t have? You’ll never get the answer to that question. But never say never right.

You followed her into her garden in the green field expressing itself with all types of flowers, dandelions, and other garden accessories. You finally got her in your grasp and you weren’t gonna miss this opportunity, “ Why have you been following me?”

To say you were shocked was an understatement, but it never displayed as an expression on your face. You smirked at the back of her head before pulling your hoodie off your head, “ I think you know why, sweetie.”

She quickly turned around when she heard a voice similar to hers, gasping loudly at the sight of you, “ Whatever joke or prank this is, this isn’t funny because why do you have a mask of my face?” God! She was a classy Bimbo! You noted that thought to yourself.

You rolled your eyes stepping towards her in your own pair of shoes/heels/ boots, “ Let’s skip the dumbness and theatrics, k’? I want your life. Your lifestyle but you could keep the shitty fashion statement you got going on. Not my style especially with the bad eyelashes and liner you have on. Now we could do this the easy or hard way? I’ll be a good person today and let you choose.”

“ Wait what?! Why are you doing this? I didn’t do anything to anyo-”, you snapped her chin up allowing her to bite her tongue with a cry of pain slipping out her pretty-pouty lips. You didn’t care how much she looked at you with innocence dancing in her eyes with bliss, she took everything from you and you were about to take it right back while making her life a living hell.

A vicious grin crossed your lips, “ don’t act innocent, y/n or should I call you your real name: Stephanie. You are supposed to be in my spot and you know that. Don’t worry I’ll take care of you and then I get my life back. I’m supposed to be in your shoes, not these. You are supposed to be in mine yet you just had to switch places with me when the scientist was about to do his final experiment.”

You continued on speaking, circling around her shaking body, “ you have brought nothing but terror and agony in my life all because you managed to fool the scientist after giving me a drug, which almost took away my ability to speak, yet you didn’t care, so I don’t care about this.” You grabbed the scissors from the bench she sat them on, pointing towards her neck, “ Strip, Now!”

Her faint cries and pleads were going in one ear and out the other. You had no time to spare her sympathy as you watched her look around while stripping out of her clothes, “ Now hon I want you to tell me what you do at this house, want every detail.”

She didn’t want to speak or look at you but she had no choice especially with the scissors pointing to the vein on her neck. You hated that she looked exactly like you, it’s like you’re killing yourself.

She told you everything that she does around the house and what her interests are. She was confused about the question until she caught on to the way you were smirking at her, “ I’ll see you in hell maybe, who knows.” You moved the clothes out of the way before slashing her throat. The slash of her throat was almost too satisfying to you. You loved the look of panic and hopelessness reflecting in her eyes like the moonlight reflecting on your skin on a warm summer night. She was playing dumb until the very end. You respected her for it, honestly.

The blood looked so good on her skin complexion, you honestly thought about eating her but you would never be into cannibalism. Maybe if she wasn’t such a backstabbing ass bitch, you two would have gotten along. Maybe.

Her body finally went limp and now you had to bury her right beneath the soils of your feet. What a beautiful garden with a new accessory being added to complete the garden.

After an hour, you were done burying her heavy body in the ground of her garden. The dirt under your fingernails irked you, maybe the vision of dirt just irked you or maybe you needed a shower. So you managed to get into her clothes, fixing your hair like hers in whatever hairstyle you had.

You got off your knees and put the vase she had outside with her. You guessed she was getting some more things from the house when she finally caught you stalking her, hence why the flower vase was here already.

Dusting off your knees was the easy part but dealing with seven different husbands will not be so easy especially when you just killed their wife. Oh well, may she rest in peace.

You walked to the house with the basket of garden tools setting them down by the rest of the tools lined up on the little stand just outside the back door of the house. You were amazed at how organized she was. You were also amazed at how big this house was. I mean there are seven of them here, including her of course, so you felt this house size was valid until you heard her name being called by someone with a deep voice.

“ Step?! Babe, we’re home.”, you swore you were about to piss yourself because he and the others were home before you got to wash your hands of dirt and the blood of your enemy.

You took a deep breath before opening the sliding door, taking off your shoes before walking to the sink, “ Uh, I’ll be right there baby.”

Gojo was highly confused because “you” always called him babe or sato, not baby. That was for Nanami. He thought you must’ve been tired so you mixed them up. He looked around at the others and knew they felt something was off from the way half of their facial expressions showed confusion.

You were practically scrubbing bits of her blood off since you knew their footsteps were near you, “princess, I missed you so much, why didn’t you greet us at the door like you usually do.” That was a different voice and you couldn’t make out who it belonged to. This was starting to get frustrating but you had to keep your composure since they were now entering the kitchen standing behind you in a line, waiting for your answer.

“ I’m sorry, I just didn’t get the time to since I just came back from gardening, would you like your kisses now.”, you say looking down at yourself to make sure not an inch of blood was shown on your glistening wet skin.

You turned around and put an ample smile on your face. You walked towards the blonde man you were quite fond of since you’ve been following their other wife around.

You leaned to kiss him on the cheek, slowly and passionately savoring this moment. Meanwhile they were all thinking the same thing, why are “you” kissing them so sensual like this? You never kissed them like this: affectionate and passionate. You always looked tired too, right now, you didn’t look tired at all. There weren’t any deep bags under your eyes that weren’t genetic so that means you were sleeping right?

After you finished kissing every last one of them on their cheek, you walked away with a wide grin on your face. You were gonna love this and you were right.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ Toji:

Toji loves it when his wife gives him a blow job after a long day. She always willingly got on her knees whenever he came home before or last of the men. He always made it his mission to come first or last served. The feeling of “your” warm lips wrapping around his cock was like feeling the mild air hit you in the grocery store on a cold, icy day in the winter. So imagine his confusion when you’re not already waiting on him with your knees on the bed. He was confused but then thought his wife was trying to be a brat, so he had no choice but to fuck your throat.

Toji grinned at you like a cashmere cat waiting for the chance to get his food. He took in your lips that were covered in his pre-cum mixed with your saliva. The only difference you could tell from lipgloss is that it doesn’t have the glitter that embodies the little tube you always used.

Your freshly manicured nails grabbed his cock with both hands prior to licking from his balls to the tip of his cock. You swirled your thick tongue around his tip, taking him into your mouth inch by inch, wetting his dick with your saliva even more. For the parts you couldn’t fit into your mouth you stroked with both hands to occupy his pleasure, “ Atta girl! You’re taking my cock in your throat so good, the best I've ever seen you do. Fuck!”

You wanted to smile but you couldn’t do how wide your mouth was stretched and how full it was of his cock. Spit dropped down the veins of his cock, onto your hands and down to his big breeding balls. The sound of your dick sucking was so perfect to him. The way you hollow your cheeks was pristine as well. “You've” gotten so much better over these past few weeks and he wondered why. He was about to ask but you took one hand off his cock to massage his balls while his dick was still lodged in his throat, “ Holy fuck! You're such a little slut, wanna record ya’ can I, my pretty little princess? Hmm?”

When you hummed, he had no choice, he almost nutted from the vibrations dancing along his thick cock he fumbled with his phone, finally turning the flash on recording you with low groans in the background. His groans to be exact. He was about to cum, so he was restraining himself. This was the best head he’s gotten, so he had to capture the moment.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ Gojo & Geto:

Geto and Gojo were two people that were the same but polar opposites. You couldn’t explain it well because it’s only been a few weeks since you took her out. Their wife always indulge with them during sexual moments. She either likes to watch them kiss or watch them fuck before joining. You couldn’t blame her because when they tied your arms up and told you to sit on the bed and wait for instructions, you were confused until you saw them kissing each other. That’s when you knew she liked to watch them and so did you, joining them later.

“ Come on, pretty baby, you can hold on, Gojo’s taking my dick in his mouth, so why can’t you take him inside of your warm pussy? Hmm?”, Geto taunts, pulling his hips back and forth fucking into Gojo mouth on the side of your head as you lay underneath Gojo getting spilt in half by his long cock, he lacked in the grith area and you honestly didn’t mind since it was gonna be much harder for him to fuck you espciallyif you ain’t use to dick like that.

He was too big to fit inside you and they always smiled at how you can’t take either of them, not even Toji inside of your pussy. Mouth is a different story, Toji learned the other day and the others didn’t, but they will eventually know.

You felt Gojo thrusting his cock deeper into making you scream out, earning a light slap on the face from geto, shutting you up as your face turned into a shock expression, only going back to the moral lewd look when Gojo moans on Geto’s cock brought all three of you pleasure. Pleasure for Gojo since you tighten around his cock with your pretty walls meanwhile geto moaned from the vibrations upon his thick cock as he face fucked one of his lovers. He loved having sex with two of his lovers and it wasn’t gonna change, especially from the way you have Gojo panting and moaning on his cock.

Gojo couldn’t help but to roll his eyes to the back when you tried to lift your hips to fit more of him inside of you. You were hungry for his cock and he loved it. He couldn’t wait to do more with you, same as Geto, who now had his long hair sticking to his forehead while his head was tilted back, face screwed in pleasure. Gojo and geto never had this much fun before, it was like you were a different person.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ Sukuna:

Sukuna was something different. The way his tattoos littered his body was a clear warning to you. You didn’t understand why that should be a warning because he’s just like everyone else right. He’ll treat you nice just like he’s been over these past few weeks, especially when you made dinner for all of them every now and then, so why is the voice in your head kept screaming warnings? It was annoying you and you wanted to ignore it, so you did. Oh, how much of a mistake that was.

“ kuna’, I don’t think I can hold on, please!”, You moaned as his split tongue teased your clit over and over in different directions. It was becoming too much for you. His fingers were even too much for you.

He laughed against your pussywhile looking up at you, “ You should know this now, my pretty dove, I don’t stop on your account. If I want to keep tasting my pussy that’s what I’m gonna do. Now, shut the hell up and take it before I give you something more iniquitous to cry and bitch about.” You gasped at his tongue flicking back over your clit even faster now and at the type of wording he chose. Was he always this vicious, damn I guess you underestimated her and them, her in general given that she took this much tongue and dick from these beautiful men every other day. You thought they, including her, were vanilla/ simple, you thought wrong.

Sukuna laughs caused waves on your pussy and you whimpered at the feeling. This felt too real and good. As soon as you got out of the shower which was 30 minutes ago, he pushed you on the bed and started devouring you, nonstop. you pushed your hips into his feeling his fingers reached deeper into you making you squirt out clear liquid at the jamming of his fingers at your g-spot. He ate pussy like a strayed fat man during the eating contest at the pumpkin fair. He watched as your body shook and loved it.

Your love handles/ hips along with your thighs were his favorite thing to grab as he ate you out. The key part he noticed is that you squirted on his face and chest. He didn’t mind since he kept eating you out, it just never happened before. Your body raised up in an acute angle as you grabbed his pink hair tightly in your pretty little hands, making him groan from the pain. His split tongue circled your clit counter clockwise and clockwise causing you to orgasm from the impact of his fingers and tongue. You orgasmed two times already and this was your third one he managed to pull from you. Sukuna was now sucking on your clit as he slowly took his fingers out of your soaking pussy. You screamed at the movement of him sucking on your clit after abusing it with his tongues.

My pretty girl, shaking like a warm starter-up truck in the winter, he thought. He also thought you looked different since there were tears in your eyes. You never cried until now. He studied you as you tried to move your body away from you while you squirt on his face nonstop with tears flowing down your eyes. He studied you until he came up with a conclusion. This was somebody different, this reaction was very different from his wife because she would’ve passed out after the second round. Maybe you grew and learned how to take him. Yeah, you learned, right? Right?!

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ Choso:

Choso was a big fan of somnophilia, he managed to talk his wife into that at the beginning of their long-lasting relationship. Their wife was someone who wanted to understand each of them and they loved her for that. Of course, that’s not the only thing they loved her for. Choso was tired and had a long day at work. He hated working in the same company as Gojo and Geto because these two are non stop talkers and pranksters. He just needed a good sleepy fuck and you were his prime target right now. He slowly made his way into the room and looked at your silk pj dress covering your beautiful body.

“ Fuck, I’m getting hard just by imagining your body underneath me.”, Choso whispered to himself as you lay there sleeping like a doll in her dollhouse. God, were you his most precious doll of a wife he could ever ask for. He noticed you’ve been stepping your game up especially from the stories he heard from everyone else you fucked already. He also noticed how different your aura and clothes were. He loved every minute of it and now he couldn’t wait to hold your body close to his as he fucks you in your sleep.

He watched as you turned to your side, giving him the perfect position he was gonna take you in. He peeled his clothes off, one by one before taking his place behind you. He breathed in your new and exquisite scent, letting out a dreamy sigh. He reached down to pull your panties to the side, taking in the feeling of your warm pussy juice on his hands. You were soaking his hand in your juices, that’s how he knew you were having a wet/good dream.

Choso glided his pretty fingers over your clit, rubbing in circles about 4 times. Lining his angry tip to your opening made his body shudder from the impact. He let out a few curses when he slid inside of your warm pussy and immediately after your walls clamped down on his dick like a snake catching its prey between its venomous teeth, “ Hah, hah, fuck yes, squeeze around me just like that honey.” His hands slid over your body so carefully like he was afraid to break you, “ I’m gonna take good care of ya’.”

You could feel your pussy being split open as you slowly gained consciousness. You didn’t know what was going on until you heard the grunting of a deep voice inside of your ear. He was hungry for you and you knew that. You had to guess that this was a routine so you went along with it for your sake. Or maybe you just loved this feeling too much. This was something new and you liked it especially when you looked back to connect your lips with Choso’s warm lips. The fact that he was moving so sensually and slow was enough to make your legs shake, let’s not even get on his beautiful facial expressions he made whenever you tightened and untightened around his cock in want and need. You uttered the one word he never got to hear, “ More.” His wife let him do what he wants and never asks for what she wants and needs so why did this feel so new?

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ Nanami & Hiromi:

These men were the epitome of mysterious and sexy with a hint of danger. You couldn’t tell where the danger came into mind while hanging out with them but you could feel it. They had the brawn and brains, you guess that could be considered dangerous, but you knew that wasn’t it. These two were the reason for the house. Whatever conflict you all had within this house, they heard everyone’s side, putting their input in later. You were amazed at how the other 5 men listened to what they had to say. What made them so dangerous in your mind though? You didn’t find out until today on a Saturday night.

“ Nanami, do you think we should see how sensitive her little pussy has been, I mean you have been fucking this entire week? Right?” Hiromi says, putting his leather gloves on. You looked at the both of them standing side by side in their clean suits as you were tied by the hands waiting for them to touch your leaking pussy.

You shook your head which earned a low chuckle from Nanami, “ Come on, sweetheart, tell us the truth and we could just get to the good part. Yeah?” His voice along with Hiromi’s was making you squeal inside. You couldn't believe that you finally got the chance to have the men you wanted since the beginning and you would never let them get it done and over with quickly, so you stayed silent with your hands tied in front of you. Hiromi noticed your silence and raised an eyebrow. What Choso and Sukuna brought up in their conversation they had the other day came to mind. Oh you’re definitely different and he couldn’t understand because “you” hated pussy inspections so why weren't “ you” trying to talk your way out of it now.

The next thing you felt was your hair getting pulled roughly by Nanami as your body now lay on the bed with your legs up against your chest, “ Since you’re not speaking, we have no choice darling.” The lube-covered leather glove he has on glided over your labia in excitement. Hiromi had his eyes peeking down at you similar to the wolf peering in the houses of the three little pigs: malnourishment. He squeezed your pussy lips together while Nanami placed small kisses all over your face easing you up. Hiromi put one finger inside of your pussy and used his other hand to place a finger inside of your ass, taking a moan away from your pretty glossed lips. He moved his finger in and out of both holes making your face scrunched up at the pain coming from your ass. After a minute of teasing your little, fat pussy and ass, he took both fingers out to inspect it prior to nodding his head at Nanami, “ She’s ready.”

Indeed you were because now you were getting fucked in your wet pussy by Hiromi while Nanami took you from behind. They were both bare right along with you after taking their clothes off. Nothing but moans and groans were heard around the room as you three joined together. Hiromi bites your neck as your chest bounced against his chest, earning a low moan from him. Your moans were so beautiful to them, but they had to get their point across, “ Ahh, fuck yes, this feels am-amazing! Fill me up, nigh!”

Hiromi lifted his head to lock eyes with you, then locked them with Nanami, “ first, smoke this with me.” Your eyes widened when you saw a white cigarette in his hand. Nanami kept fucking your ass while leaning to grab a lighter from the dresser. Hiromi smirked up at you with his head against the headboard, “ Why the, mmh, surprise face. Loosen up for me, darling.” You wanted to cry right then and there because you couldn’t understand if he was talking about you smoking a cigarette or your pussy. It was both. You had tried to smoke cigarettes before and it didn't work out even if you were playing their now dead wife. You made up excuses time after time saying that you weren’t feeling it. You hated that that bitch smoked cigarettes like a pro.

You were so lost in thought that you didn’t notice that they stopped moving and Hiromi was now offering you the cigarette, which was already lightened by the way. You hesitantly wrapped your pretty lips around the tip of the cigarette, bracing yourself to inhale the scent and flavor of the cigarette. Once you got the smoke in your mouth you released it too late and now you were coughing like a maniac. They both laughed because their suspicions were right. This was someone else, not their wife. They were gonna confirm it later with everyone else. Right now, your ass and pussy felt too good to not cum inside of them. Nanami moans started again as he thrusted into you while Hiromi put out the cigarette, kissing your lips as he moved his hips up into your pussy letting his dick ruin your perfect little pussy.

After the tiring night from yesterday, you woke up to your arms being tied to the bed with your legs being tied at the end of the bed. You had on a new bra and pantie set on, so you knew after you passed out yesterday, they bathed you and put you on something new. Your pudgy stomach was showing, thighs too. They loved those features on you and their wife.

The sun shines through the window on your pretty skin. You were yawning and trying to stretch, but couldn't because of the restraints, “ Let’s get down to business should we?”

You knew that voice belonged to Toji. You looked where it was coming from and saw all of them standing at the foot of the bed, well Toji, Nanami, and Hiromi were.

Gojo, Geto, and Choso were either sitting on the chair beside the bed or leaning on the wall/ door frame.

“ Who the hell are you?”, Gojo asked, walking closer.

“ Where is our wife? Because you’re definitely not her.”, Geto says after Gojo.

You smirked at their questions, which only made Choso get up from the chair on the side of the bed, snatching your face to him, “ And don’t play games, just answer us. Not really in the mood for playfulness right now.”

You smirked at them. You got them and her, that’s all that matters now. You could now die a happy woman.

━�� ༉⁩༊⁩ Tagging: @dejwrites @simpingforwakasa04 @happygoluckyalexis @mastermindenoshimaalicia @emomanswhore and plenty more people who wants to join( just tell me)

[papil0nglegs]

Pics/gifs that remind me of them

(Fnf x reader)

Warnings: zaza, I hate this word but tsundere, insults but you guys are big girls/boys/things you can handle it

A/n: I’m gonna post shorter hcs for a bit cuz I’m working on this one req that has a lot of stuff, anyways ik this is cringey wattpad shit but who cares. Enjoy <33

Darnell

This is before you two were dating btw

All he wanted to do was doodle a bit 😔

“Oo whatcha got in there?”

“None of your goddamn business..”

grab

“Why are you hiding these they’re so c..”

This man was practically glowing mauve

It’s okay, you were blushing too

“…I won’t tell anyone if you let me keep it.”

“I fucking hate you.”

“Really? Cuz this says otherwise”

“IT SAYS NOTHING”

No but actually, you stared at them almost everyday

It got to the point where you memorized them page by page

After you guys started dating, it became an inside joke that he was always embarrassed of

“Draw me like your French girls Darnell..”

“Oh my fucking-just-don’t remind me”

Once you tried drawing him and it def wasn’t up to his level of mastery, but he still loved it

He cut it out and hung it up on his wall next to his bed

Nene

You guys swap every now and then but she likes it more when you do it

“Y/n do me first plsplspls”

“Okay okay just as long as you take out your knives, I don’t want them to cut me again”

“That was one time 🙄”

“No nene, it was two times.”

Sometimes you’ll choose themes, like ocean or just a general color

You guys would get into funny arguments about the shades

“Nene this not purple that’s pink”

“It’s a mix of both!”

“The theme was purple so just do purple! It shouldn’t be a mix of anything 😒”

No wonder she always loses in dress to impress..

She would sometimes awkwardly zone out just staring at your eyes

(And if you have brown eyes and your eye does that one thing during golden hour, she’s immediately gone)

“…nene?”

“Yea?”

“The makeup.”

“Oh fuck, sorry”

You guys love face masks too

When she gets back from Ulta or Sephora she always brings something back for you

“Y/n guess what I got you!!”

“Lemme guess, another face mask”

“No! Sol de Janeiro scent 40!!”

“ gasp MARRY ME”

“OKAYY ^^”

Pico

(Big ass picture omg)

Guys, the makeout sessions.

Pico is an okay kisser when sober, but for some reason his tongue just gets ✨✨ when puffing that za

He loves going to his house, playing “doin’ time” by sublime in the background while making out with you on his bed

You guys have been doing it since your teen years

“Mom I need to go to my friends house to study”

“Okay hun just be back before 8:30”

Best studying session of your life

Sometimes you guys don’t even kiss, just 🍃 + cartoons

Or random convos, like really random convos

He’s not a fan tho

“You think the wind is ever trying to tell us something we don’t understand yet?”

“…I want you to stop saying odd shit.”

One time, he grabbed your belt to pull you closer and did his tango with the tongue

The butterflies you felt when he did that.

“Jesus fuck Pico..”

“What? Did you not like it? I’m sorry I just-“

“Do it again or I’ll kill you”

You guys were such horny teens

And it hasn’t settled down ever since

But since consent is sexy, you two never BOOMBAYAH’D while 🍃

“P-Pico I bet can kiss every freckle on that beautiful fffucking face of yours”

“You wanna bet? Giggle I’ll put 20$ on this table right now”

“Hell yeah, bring it on Ed Sheeran head ass”

Eventually your lips got tired

“Pico my lips are so tired now”

“Nuh uh, keep going”

“Hey you can’t tell me what to do, respect women!”

“Idc I’m sexiest now”

“I think it’s sexist”

“No, it’s sextile”

“…okay”

I don’t think he was with us at that moment

Bitch was seeing stars

[lawsvalentine]

Getting High With Them • OP Men HC • (SFW)

Fem!reader

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, Law

CW: drug use, cursing, humor, some fluff, slightly suggestive on Sanji’s and Law’s

Cee’s Note: Just vibes. This was really fun to write. Hope y’all enjoy!

Luffy

A newbie to weed, so when it hits it hits HARD

Mf thinks everything is so fucking funny when he is high

You could say a knock knock joke and he is on the floor wheezing

He’s the type to say the most random shit while high

“Y/N, isn’t it crazy that water is like wet air”

“Luffy, what-“

MUNCHIES! Somehow manages to be even more hungry than usual

You two are so obnoxiously loud like the whole crew can tell you two are high

He will say everything he is thinking about so don’t be surprised if he blurts his feelings out to you without a second thought

Zoro

We all know Zoro can hold his liquor but weed is a whole different story

Mans can barely function when he is high

Has the signature stoned look that looks like this

Completely spaces out, good luck trying to have a conversation with him

You wave a hand in front of his face “Earth to Zoro?”

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

He passes tf out within the first two hours of your smoke session

But don’t worry his cuddles make up for it

Sanji

He is surprisingly chill asf when high

He has smoked weed a couple times before with some chefs at the baratie so he’s not too foreign to it

One of the perks of getting high with the chef is he will whip up whatever you want when you have the munchies

Ya’ll be having the most deepest conversations about the meaning of life while high

Sanji already found you beautiful when sober but there is something about you when he is high that finds you breathtaking

“Am I high, or are your eyes sparkling right now, Y/N-Swan!”

“Nope, your just high, Sanji”

Oh and for some reason, weed makes him even more horny so you two end up having high sex after every session

Usopp

Paranoid AS FUCK

Mans is tripping out BAD

“Y/N!!!! MY THUMBS ARE GONE!” He says waving his fists in your face.

You gave him a blank stare as you unclenched his fist revealing his thumbs

“Oh….”

Now granted, you already knew Usopp’s claims of being a stoner was bullshit but you were curious to see how far he would take his lie

Mans could barely roll his blunt properly sgdjdj

When you and Usopp’s high was wearing off, you told him he didn’t have to pretend to be a stoner

He admits he was only trying to impress you and make you think he was cool because he had a crush on you

Law

This man right here is a COMPLETELY different person when he is high

Like a full 180

Mans is smiling more, cracking jokes, and dare I say actually laughing????

“WHO ARE YOU, AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH LAW?!”

Law just chuckles at your outburst, causing your eye to twitch, not believing what you are seeing

Perks of getting high with a doctor, he is also your supplier

He’s got the GOOD SHIT if you know what I mean

Law is a lot more bolder with PDA when he is high

Whether it is his hand on your thighs or you sitting on his lap

Just like Sanji, weed makes Law more horny than usual, so if you’re on his lap you will definitely feel his dick get hard

[ultfreakme]

idk of it's just me but i don't understand, the atla fandom, from all ships existing would just slander zukka out of nowhere. like mf i just want to see my boys being silly and in love in fanwork, why they need to be so mean lmao

I think it's because for close to 20 years, Kataang and Zutara were reining supreme in ship wars and fandom space. Jetko was the main mlm ship before but it didn't have nearly the same popularity. No other ship could even touch those two and those two continued arguing about what's best for canon.

Now though? Zukka's the second most popular ship on ao3- all of those fics and content showed up in 3 years. And suddenly the Netflix actors are pushing for Zukka practically every interview while actively dissuading Zutara(and hinting strongly at Kataang- thanks Gordon & Kiawentiio going "he/she's my.....family, yeah let's say family *wink* *wink*"). They're getting extremely popular and now fucking Netflix, Entertainment Weekly and Deadline are tagging #zukka in the year of our lord 2024(thank you for your service Dallas Liu, braver than the marines). Popular ships unfortunately get hate, especially queer ships, like just as a baseline regardless of if it's a canonically supported or unsupported ship, if it's "morally correct or incorrect".

This 'crackship' that no one took seriously suddenly feels...like a threat to these people??? Like we can joke about hahaha zukka gayyyy but we all know that's just silly gobbledygook right? (Not saying Zukka should or could be canon, but just the fact that people are seriously considering it as a ship option in fandom makes people act weird)

A lot of the the points made for "why Zukka is bad actually" are so funny though, that my initial irritation is fading and I'm just laughing at it. Some highlights that made me actually lose it:

Zukka is misogynist to Katara because, and I shit you not, they think that we think Katara is homophobic sdjfhbbgvh. I was shook when I discovered this was a thing.

Zukka bad because Klance bad (war flashbacks to Voltron)

"Everyone just wants a gay ship smh the chronically ONLINE FANDOM BRAIN HAS ROTTED THE SANCTITY OF HETEROSEXUAL-[EXPLODES]"

Zuko is a colonizer who's oppressing Sokka by dating him (i have no stats but this sounds like a white person trying very hard to sound like they're super inclusive and understand the plights of the colonized and oppressed. and the best way to do it is shit on a fake ship about lines on a page)

Zukka bad because it makes no canon sense

I think people who are Big Mad don't get that we're genuinely just chilling and making silly stuff without thinking too much about what SHOULD happen in canon. Everyone in ATLA fandom takes the show and the fandom far too seriously, like losing a fan discussion is somehow a slight upon their personal morals.

We coasted along without much hate for a good while but the increasing popularity means Zukka as a ship is going to get bashed ;_; I think the best we can do is block and ignore instead of engaging(very hypocritcal of me rn tbh, I'll try to stop).

I don't think you expected this....giant wall of text but thanks for sending me the ask and I totally get your frustration" Just let us enjoy our silly hcs and content!!!

[via-l0ve]

OMG UR MIKE SCHMIDT HCS ARE PERFECT!!!!!!!!! pls do a part two 🙏🙏

(btw can I be 😾 anon? )

Dating Mike Schmidt Hcs PT. 2!❣️

a/n: ABSOLUTELY!!! thank you sm 😾 anon <3 i love u! this also includes just some general head cannons of him because he’s my baby.

warnings: nothing :)

mike drinks coffee and energy drinks all the time

his favorite flavor of monster is the original or the Strawberry dreams

if you like monster (i’m an addict) he buys you one every time he buys one for himself

when he was working at freddy’s you’d patch him up if he ever got hurt :(

you teach him how to bake so he can teach Abby

You’re the only person Abby likes her brother to be with

she incorporates you into her drawings after a while of knowing you

mike is so happy when he sees you drawn in because his sister’s approval means a lot to him even if she’s only ten

it takes a while for mike to open up to you

but when he does he kinda has to break it up into small bits

he’s surprised when you hug him and comfort him bc what no one’s ever done that before

his love language is most definitely words of affirmation and physical touch

mike is so stressed with his work schedule so he can’t always be there physically but he always, without fail, every. day. sends you a good morning and good night text.

that might not seem like much but it’s everything to me okay!!!!

“hey baby, good morning :) i love you the most and i hope you have an amazing day. im on my way to work now but when i get out ill text you and when i get home ill give you lots of kisses. i love you.”

that’s so fucking cute

you guys have frequent date nights that just consist of laying on the couch or in his bed and watching a movie while he lays on your lap or on your chest

Abby usually interrupts because she “can’t sleep” but we all know it’s just because she wants to watch the movie

Mike secretly has a savings account for the two of you

he wants the best for you and when he can give you the world he will

but for right now he’ll pay for some stuff and give you kisses afterwards

he makes playlists that remind him of you

he loves to give you his clothes

or, if you don’t want those, he gives you blankets of his that smell like him

Mike notices the little things

like if you told him a story about your cousin and how they pissed you off

and then you brought them up again

he would remember the incident but he wouldn’t remember their name

“oh isn’t that the cousin who did all of that stuff to you?”

you guys have deep talks at 2am while he lays on your stomach and you comb through his hair with your fingers and you guys just talk and make out

his lips are soft but his hands aren’t

you definitely flirt with him all the time to make him blush

he hates feet

like everyone wears socks in his house or he will shoot his eyes out

he also hates canned corn

don’t ask me why i think this is just do

he’s scared of being alone

he also most definitely uses “:) :( :/ .-.” instead of actual emojis

he laughs at all of your jokes

even if they’re just not funny

he dosent want you to get sad lol

he’s always scared he’s not enough for you

he works a lot and he’s constantly tired and he makes minimum wage so it’s not like he can take you out to fancy dates or anything

he opens up about how he feels and when you tell him how much you adore your little mundane activities he gets all teary eyed and just hugs you so tight

:(((

he just wants to be the best version of himself for you

he adores you

off topic - he’s a lightweight when he drinks

he’ll stumble into the house drunk and just clinging onto you like a sloth

poor baby

he just deserves the world

[bots-and-cons]

Hello! Tfp optimus, ratchet and ultra magnus reaction to a reader that can see the future. As in we warn them of an attack or a trap or an outcome of a plan and it ends up happening exactly as we say every time. Thanks!

I did HCs, kind of a ramble maybe, but it’s kinda late so I don’t really have the energy for much else and I just wanted to write something

~Ultra Magnus~

•He just straight up didn’t believe it when you told him you could see the future

•He thought it was some strange human joke he didn’t understand

•Magnus also thought it was hazardous, because if someone were to take your word as fact they might believe they couldn’t get injured if you told them they would return unhurt and they would get reckless

•Of course Magnus thinks Bumblebee and Smokescreen are already needlessly reckless so he especially doesn’t want them believing anything you say

•But when you get proven right again and again, Magnus starts to think that maybe you’re not a fraud, maybe you’re a traitor, because you know when the cons are going to ambush someone and when and where the attacks are going to happen

•He doesn’t outright accuse you, but he does start keeping an even keener eye on you

•But it just seems to go beyond that, because you seem to know things you couldn’t possibly know even if you were getting intel from the cons

•And why would you try to warn the autobots if you were a traitor

•He just doesn’t want to believe such an ability exists, because it doesn’t make any sense to him

•But eventually he has no choice but to start believing what you’re telling him and the others

•When he finally starts taking you seriously, he actually notices you’re helping him and the others stay safe

~Optimus Prime~

•Optimus wants to believe you, but it just doesn’t seem very probable

•He does pay attention to what you say though, he sort of keeps it at the back of his mind and he stars noticing you seem to be right a lot

•Like suspiciously much

•So he can’t really deny that you are seeing the future

•He’s pretty interested in how it works, because he’s never encountered anything like this

•Like do you only see bad things? Can you see the future when you want to or is it kinda random? Does it drain you?

•It does cause you some pretty intense migraines, especially if you try to force your visions, but you don’t really tell Optimus that because you want to help the autobots

•You warn them all the time of danger and it ends up saving a lot of lives, resources and time

•It’s not like you can prevent all the bad stuff from happening and sometimes even though you warn the bots they have to go on missions anyway or can’t change the way they have to do something

~Ratchet~

•Ratchet wasn’t exactly ecstatic when you told him you saw something bad happening to Optimus

•He asks why you would say something like that, and that it’s not funny

•You assure him that it’s not meant to be funny and that you can sometimes see bad things before they happen

•But when it happens and Optimus gets hurt in the exact way you said, Ratchet confronts you after treating Optimus and asks how in the name of Primus you could know that

•You repeat the same thing you said before, but Ratchet is still a bit skeptical, even though the evidence is literally right in front of him

•But eventually he starts asking you about if you’ve seen something bad happening before just about every mission

•He starts trusting what you say about your visions and you become sort of like danger meter for the autobots

•While Ratchet doesn’t want you to hurt yourself, he might still sometimes push you to try and see something if you haven’t had a vision about a mission

•It causes you migraines and it’s all around not a pleasant experience when you try to force your visions, but Ratchet is way too worried about the team to not ask you about it

•Of course if you don’t see anything, that’s a sign too

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

This is similar to the ask about slowly blinking at Charlie, Seth and Alphonse .  could you please do auron and Faust reacting to their listeners frog blinking at the. have a good day 💝

Frog Blinking HCs

Auron

"Rook, I was thinking of going to this new restaurant that opened. Would you like to accompany....Rook. Did...Did you just blink like a frog-"

Faust

The answer was yes, it's so funny when he's caught off guard by the things you do to or at him.

He's can't help but think back to that conversation in the car talking how if they make him kiss a frog he'd never say something nice about them again.

He's still trying to come up with what to say in response to the frog blink so he just asks if your gonna go out with him tonight or not.

He calls you silly once you give a answer and thinks to himself how lucky he is to have you.

"Hey Star, I was wondering what we wanted to order for take out bc I want Chinese bc I've been craving it- HELP? Did you just frog blink at me????"

Your both giggling like kids, his face gets super red after laughing so hard. He was caught off guard from that and now wants to try and frog blink!

After the failed tries he asks you to do it again, he's recording it to post about. After you do it he puts a frog filter on it.

Makes some frog jokes about you, he then asks how long it took you to do that bc blinking like that takes a LOT of effort.

He then asks again what take out yall want tonight. As you both are waiting for the food he's trying to frog blink again.

[rizzyu]

Hello there! :D If u dont mind, can i req platonic friendship hcs for luxiem? where gn!reader looks up to them as an older brother figure? +bonus points if they also have a chaotic personality >:D Have a great day~

Big-brother Figure HC

Pairing: Vox, Mysta, Luca, Ike, Shu x gn! reader

Category: Fluff, heehee haha funni

Warning: C h a o s .  

Summary: Platonic relationship with the Luxiem members :D

A/N: Hi hi! That is such as cute idea! I can already imagine the chaos before even starting to write lol Anyways thank you for the request :D

Vox Akuma

He tries his very very very very very best not to bring in sussy conversations while you are around, since you're like his little-sibling figure

It's very fucking difficult for him to not straight up yell something like FORKIN- *** **** ***** ***, but he really R E A L L Y tries his best (c'mon you gotta give him some slack for trying this hard)

Even though you might already have learnt it from other Niji members (mr satan here might choke those specific members if he finds out)

But Vox also takes care of you very well

Like he'd go out of his way just to make sure you have the best meals every day

Overall, I think Vox would be a very caring but yet very protective big-brother figure

Mysta Rias

You'd be making fun of him A LOT (like real siblings lol) and also pick on him specifically

Like in every roast tier list, Mysta's in the "bullied" tier, and you're the living proof of that.

Say if you're playing Crab Game, you'd specifically throw a snowball at him out of nowhere, causing him (using his webcam mic that makes him sound like he's in the middle of a damn hurricane) to scream like he's stuck between the fabric of reality and the backrooms

Basically like this: "WHAAA WHA%#%@"#*@ WHO THE %##*@/× FUCK ^@!~# DID&פ^#*!/£₩※THAT /£&&$)#(@#:"

Meanwhile you: "MUHYAHYAHYAHAYYAHAYAGHAGSSBABBA L L L L L L"

And if Mysta is cooking, just like Vox his Mysta's cooking stream, you'd scold him for cooking in such uhhhhh c u r s e d ways

“Mysta, for the love of Riku Tazumi, by “pour oil into the pan”, doesn’t mean to fill the entire pan with oil.”

Overall, chaotic sibling-like relationship with Mysta :)

Luca Kaneshiro

The most chaotic duo in NijiEN

You two would both pull pranks and say random deez nuts, ligma jokes to other members

Whenever you two take part in collabs (especially large ones), I can imagine you both causing so much mischief that everyone would be screaming your names while chasing you two who are laughing your butts off (I love his laugh it’s so goofy)

He’d teach you his ways of pogging

Say if you’re playing Minecraft, you two would probably place lava traps in front of the doors of every house, before hiding nearby to see the other members scream when they fall into the trap

Basically he’s gonna troll with you all the time :)

Ike Eveland

Just like Vox, very caring but very protective

He really enjoys reading you the novels he wrote and making you caviar toast. Even if you dislike caviar, he (tries) to not be too disappointed in you lol

Ike also like to teach you how to write novels and how to speak some Swedish words

And usually when you did well when he’s teaching you things, he’d give you a headpat :3

Usually if some other members say something a bit sussy, broski would look d e a d into their eyes while having both hands covering both of your ears, before politely telling you to go somewhere else for the meantime. Then he'd threaten whoever did that in front of you.

I like it when he goes psychopath mode. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shu Yamino

You’d definitely greet each other with “eyyyyyyyyyyyyy” everytime you meet lol

If you’re a smart person, you’d probably be talking about maths or something in the middle of a game.

“There are two boxes blocking that so if we double it we can cover the whole thing.”

 “Yea but there isn’t enough space to place 4 boxes there, maybe 3.46 boxes can work.”

“Seems like 3.48 would work better.”

“BUT IT’S JUST A 0.02 DIFFERENCE-” (made-up scenario lol)

The whole time chat would be spamming the nerd emoji 🤓🤓🤓

You, Shu and Petra would get along very well too, since Petra is like a sister figure to Shu

Happy penguin siblings :D

[fizzywashere87]

Hello!! If it's alright with you can i please request rottmnt with a mom like yor from " spy x family "? Platonic, funny one-shot, hc or anything you want.

Like she's sweet and would go up and beyond for her babies but she's secretly an assassin and that's the one thing she WON'T tell anyone at all.

notes: OMGIE YESESES!!! (we don't talk about the fact this is over a month past due but :D) I'm going to do them altogether- and I'm making reader's personality like what you described to me so I'm sorry if i misunderstood anything!! Hope you enjoy and tysm for requesting!!

We Love You Anyways, Ma (HC's)

Toitlez

I think it's a trend for the rise!turtles to have dumbass parents

Look at Splinter from even before he was mutated

Barry.

yeah, you're a little naive but isn't everyone?

Now we know where your boys get it from! :D

April is apart of the family btw and she's your daughter

I reckon Mikey does all of the cooking anyways because you...

cannot.

The few times you tried ended with Raph, Leo, and Mikey screaming in the background, while Donnie extinguishes the fire

You guys lost a very important member of the family that day,

Speck.

You burned 'im at your failed attempt at cooking

That poor speck of cooking residue that was immune to cleaning supplies :(

Not even you, the mama of this carnival was able to remove

Maybe had a 'lil funeral as everyone cried but Donnie wasn't phased his ass was waiting for it to happen-

The lair is literally spotless

Nobody ever questioned why you were so good at cleaning

Actually, Leo did, I lied damn intuition i swear he has it

The boys get away with a lot, I'm sorry

"Where have you boys been?" You stand with your arms crossed scowling at the boys, they just got back to the lair and they do not look like they were anywhere you would condone as their mother.

Leo steps up, flashing you a smile, a bright one at that, "Sorry we're late Ma, we wanted to stop and eat pizza! We're sorry for not letting you know, we promise we'll let you know next time." He says, sounding oh-so genuine, how could you not believe that? Raph, Donnie, and Mikey are standing in the background nodding along to everything Leo is saying and you look at all of them carefully.

"Alright, be more careful next time! You had me worried!" You'd smile, and that would be the end of the conversation as your boys scurry away as a person right in the head would deem; suspicious.

You're not right in the head btw.

Overall, you guys are a family and you love each other tons

They do appreciate everything you do for them

You love them unconditionally and would do anything for them Please give Donnie validation and praise- boy needs it

You'd also do anything to protect them

Did I mention you're crazy strong?

Yes, you trained the boys so they have your agility

At some points you're overly gentle but you'll never tell anyone it's because you can't handle your own strength

Your excuse is that they can't handle it

You brush it off as a joke though

It's hard hiding such a big secret from them, but it's for their safety

They don't know why exactly you're so strong and cool, you played it a certain way that they'll never question

You do have your dumbass moments, but they never imagined you as an assassin- their mother? nah.

Your children come up with some weird ass shit on a day to day basis and never once they put two and two together

Your dumbass children i swear-

The boys love watching you in action

From the close combat that almost nobody can match-

To the way you effortlessly handle your blades

The way you know the exact points on a person to aim when attacking

Or how you've basically never lost a fight

The way you can scope out where your opponents are and how quick your reflexes are-

No you're not an assassin

I'm just lying!! You are!

If they ever were to find out, it's because your dumbass let something slip

The boys and April caught onto something

Leo confronted you in an indirect way

Boom

Exposed.

"WHAT?!" They simultaneously exclaimed in shock. Donnie pulls out a bunch of tech- probably to add to his file he has about you, Leo is shaking you by the shoulders demanding more information, Mikey copes by running around yelling 'OHMIGOSH,' Raph fell over backwards as if he were an object, and April yells 'I knew it!'

It's chaos.

As everyone settles down, you have no choice but to fill them in further, you go sit down at the table and they listen to your story. They are very shocked, very confused on some things, a lot of things are adding up now. But they aren't mad at you for keeping such a secret, none of them are, they think it's hella cool.

Leo raises his hand with a question and you wait for him to go on,

"So did the weird creepy fox yokai end up with the ugly bunny yokai or the nasty hamster one?" He recalls one of the missions you just told them about.

"I'm pretty sure it was the bunny." You answer, not really phased by the type of question he just asked and everyone nods along calmly.

Yeah. This is your life and you wouldn't wish for anything different.