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ixcaliber · 2 years

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Games I Played November

I started the month fully intending to be like ‘it’s Halloween 2. Nobody can tell me when to stop playing spooky games’ but I think I only played one.

1. Signalis

Signalis is a game very much in the style of a classic survival horror. Early Resident Evil and Silent Hill and it isn’t making any attempt at hiding these inspirations. After a brief introduction the first thing you find yourself doing is staring into a bathroom mirror in an unfamiliar place, looking for your wife. One of the safe rooms plays the Moonlight Sonata. Heck the game opens with the disclaimer that parts of this game may be considered violent or cruel, a disclaimer I’m familiar with because I’m still making my way through Silent Hill 3. Fingers crossed I can convince my brain to get back to that for the December list.

But, anyway, Signalis. It borrows imagery, it borrows some mechanics, and it uses that retro ps1 aesthetic but it’s not as though it doesn’t have its own ideas. It’s a game that’s dense with motifs and recurring symbology, with its own intricately built world for you to piece together. There’s a whole arg in there, just like in there if you’re willing to look for it and it got beyond me at a certain point but I do respect the construction of this world and this game.

I’m a little reluctant to talk too much about the game. I don’t know how much is a spoiler to say, and I feel like learning about the world as you play is a big part of the experience. What I will say is that despite its aesthetics and its clear reference points it plays very well and responsive.

And its gay.

Admittedly it doesn’t take a lot to bring me to tears (fyi me and forgie are watching an anime about cute girls doing diy and i legitimately tear up every time in the op because i am weak) but yeah this game did it. (checking ahead maybe like nearly half of my list made me cry so thats maybe more on me but w/e)

2. The Entropy Centre

The Entropy Centre is a recently released first person puzzle game in the style of Portal. It has the weird gun that serves a puzzle function, it has the cubes and the buttons and even has the lasers and jump pads and light bridges once you get deeper into the game.

The central mechanic of this game is to be able to rewind an object through 30 seconds of movement. Its a versatile mechanic and well explored, there was only really once or twice in the game when I was really stumped and it took me a good while to work out how to solve the puzzle I was stuck on.

The best thing about this game is that it has probably the best context for a puzzle game mechanic I’ve seen in any of these portal-likes. Some very early game spoilers here, feel free to skip ahead if you’d rather. So, really early in the game you discover that the facility you wake up in is on the moon and the earth is exploding. The Entropy Centre, the organization, is designed to protect the world from cataclysms like this by gathering the entropy energy created by solving a puzzle and use all that collected energy to rewind the Earth and then send back the information to help avoid the same catastrophe happening again.

I love this premise. I love the worldbuilding that the game does through computer logs that really delve into the implications of the Entropy Centre and its work. I love the idea that okay yeah we have this chipper helpful AI assistant but of course they can’t tell us how to solve the puzzle because the energy is generated from the act of solving. I mean obviously it’s a justification but it’s the best one I’ve seen so far.

The only negative things I’d say about this game are 1) i wish you could use the entropy device on more environmental objects (like use a vending machine and then rewind it so all the cans go back inside), it’s absolutely not necessary to solving the puzzles or anything other than messing around but it’d help me to imagine it as a real device rather than just a puzzle solving tool.

2) after a certain point in the game there is combat and it’s the most uninteresting part of the game, this awkward chore to push through before you can get back to solving puzzles.

3) there’s a moment at the end that I feel overdoes it a little bit. I had a moment about half way through when I realized what was coming and that moment was great. I love that the game gave me enough information to piece together what was coming and it felt really impactful when I made this conclusion naturally. The actual moment of revelation beats you around the head with the concept just to make sure you get the idea and it feels a bit overdone, especially coming after playing Signalis.

Otherwise really good game.

3. Metroid Dread

ugh

i kind of hated this one gang

i played this in the rookie mode that was added earlier this year. calling this an easier difficulty may be technically accurate but good god.

In Rookie Mode damage dealt by bosses is reduced and you get more energy whenever you get energy. That does sound easier. The bosses are the worst part of this video game. Every now and then a loading screen tip would pop up and tell me that every attack in the game is dodgable and I’d fucking laugh to myself. Lowering the damage of the bosses means I can survive getting hit by their attacks a couple more times. It doesn’t make it any fucking easier to get out of the way of those attacks. If that’s hard for you you’re going to struggle no matter which of the difficulties you pick.

I don’t think I’ve got anyone reading my tumblr who is going to reply to me that I should have just gotten good. I’m not bad at video games in general. I’ve gotten through some difficult games without tearing my hair out. The bosses in this game felt more unfair than I guess I have a tolerance for. It’s the most actually pissed off I’ve been at a video game in a good while. I really hated them. I hated when a boss fight that I’d struggled with and managed to get past because a recurring miniboss encounter in the very next area.

If the game expects a lot of you in the boss encounters it’s because it expects so little of you in the rest of the game. This is probably the worst metroidvania style game I’ve played in terms of exploration. Everywhere you go you’re passing though little points of no return, forcing you to keep going ahead to the next objective. It’s not constant. There are times when you do have the freedom to retrace your steps if you want, but I could feel the game bristling against my desire to explore. It gets to the point where you just have to go ok and take any teleporter that is put in your path. Where are you going? Fuck knows. Fuck knows where your next objective is at any given time just keep following the trail laid out for you. No thinking only following.

Also I hate the secret breakable bits of terrain. I hate that there are breakable blocks that are just part of the wall that you just have to intuit that there is progression past there if you shoot it with a missile. I got so lost early on when I was first railroaded to Dairon because I thought myself ‘oh there doesn’t appear to be any obvious way forward best go back and find the upgrade I need in the previous area’ only to find that the door had closed behind me god knows when ago and I for a while thought I had somehow softlocked myself.

Metroid Dread does a terrible job of communicating which way you need to be heading but hates it if you’re trying to go anywhere other than the exact next spot for the next upgrade or boss encounter. I fucking hated playing this game. Sorry.

4. Alba - A Wildlife Adventure

This is a cute little game where you’re a small child visiting their grandparents on the island where they live. You decide to start trying to help the environment and to take photos to catalog the local species.

I love this game.

I met little squirrels and a foxie.

You have seven days to try to gather enough signatures for a petition to stop the construction of a hotel which is being built in a run down nature preserve. Each day you have a set little story to play through, but the game is very freeform. You can explore at your leisure, certain abilities or areas only open up through main story progression but it’s overall extremely chill about letting you set your own pace and your own goals.

It’s good and wholesome and I cried.

5. Resident Evil VIII: Shadows of Rose

The one thing I was excited about this DLC was the idea of the duke as a villain. I loved the thought that he was helping Ethan in Village because he saw an opportunity to create a power vaccum and then take over. Without like going into spoilers or anything, that’s not a thing that happened in this game.

The first half is a low effort retread of Castle Dimetrescu, without the key components that made that interesting the first time around (i.e. Lady Dimetrescu and her daughters). The second half has more ideas. It takes place, at least to begin with, in the Bienviento House and essentially combat (as it is experienced in the first half of the game) is more or less over once you reach this point. I sort of liked some of this half of the game, but even the bits that I did like were ruined by the context.

The story of Shadows of Rose is that Rose has grown up and been raised by Chris Redfield as a corporate asset I guess. There certainly didn’t seem to be any fondness between them when Rose talks or thinks about him. She has sort of mold powers and has some difficulty controlling them. One of the guys who works with Chris tells her about the existence of a magic crystal that can seal her powers. It seems at the time as though he’s saying he needs information on how to find it from within the memories contained in a sample of the megamycyte but that’s absolutely not what the game thinks is happening. In this game you’ve gone into a magic mushroom to look for a physical crystal that can stop your powers.

And its like okay yeah Resident Evil has always had zombies and sure they have vampires and werewolves now in Village, but like I’m almost certain that if I found the right text log it would explain that they’re not really vampires and werewolves but something with a scientific origin in some oblique way. Searching for the magic crystal in this feels like the step too far and for the longest time I was pretty sure it would turn out there was no magic crystal that that was just a lie to get her into the mushroom space. But there is a magic crystal. This DLC is stupid.

The best I can say for it is that it isn’t nearly as bad as either of the DLC for Revelations 2.

6. Ghost Song

Ghost Song is a metroidvania game with an incredible artstyle and ambience. The atmosphere of this game is so strong. Everyone you encounter, everywhere you go has this vibe. There’s a sort of contemplatativeness to it. The first objective you have leads to you meeting the crew of a crashed ship and from that point onwards whenever you complete an objective you can come back and have a discussion with them. I love these talks. They’re sort of sad, everyone has a sort of sadness to them, but the game never feels bleak. It’s a sort of optimistic sadness if such a thing exists.

It was playing Ghost Song that finally made me click just how much I had hated the exploration of Metroid Dread. I got to the crashed ship and was given five objective points on my map showing the general location of the things I needed and it was like ‘oh yeah! some direction! freedom to accomplish my goals in the order i choose! that’s right i do like metroidvanias’.

The one thing I’d say against the game is that, each of the items you’re sent to collect, when you pick them up they disable fast travel and you have to make your way back to the ship. There is a reason for this as having them on you does have an effect on the world. I just wish the game gave you the option to put them back. The first time I picked one up I was so low on health with no more heals left and it was sort of painstaking for me to carefully make my way back to the last save point.

But overall this is such a good time, such an interesting world to explore.

7. Nobody Saves The World

Nobody Saves The World is a sort of top down diablo like dungeon crawler game made by the developers of Guacamelee.

You are a featureless nobody called Nobody and you get your hands on the wand of a powerful wizard after he goes missing. It allows you to take on a whole range of different forms such as a little rattie, necromancer, ranger, egg, robot, monk etc. Each of them with their own movesets and abilities which as you progress through the game can have their abilities and passive buffs mixed and matched for powerful synergies. It’s really neat. Each of the forms have different form quests that require you to make good use of that forms strengths in order to make that form stronger and unlock more customization options.

It’s a really good game for giving you lots of objectives and letting you go and do what you like. There’s a decent amount of sidequests and a couple of different adventuring guilds to join which have their own little side questline. It’s a good game with a fun sense of humour and if I’m a little vague I’ve been playing it on and off since like the start of the year rather than in one intense burst. It’s still been a good time though.

8. Nobody Saves The World: The Frozen Hearth

Should have done this before finishing the game. It gives you a little new area to explore and then essentially a series of optimization challenges, which are just a little too finnicky for me to really delve into. It also gives you two new forms, the mechanic and the killer bee. The only problem is that like, if you’ve done a full completionist playthrough like me and then come to this DLC afterwards instead of at the point at which it becomes available in the story, then you don’t really have anything left to do with these new forms to unlock all their functionality. I ended up doing laps in one of the areas just killing enemies and resetting them by leaving the area and returning just to level up these forms.

If you’re really into optimizing your abilities in really specific ways you’ll get more out of this DLC than I did, but it is nice to just have a couple of new forms to play with.

9. Psychonauts 2

I was really hyped for Psychonauts 2 when it first came out. I played like two or three hours of it and then paused and oops now my ADHD has decided its time to do other stuff for a year and a bit.

Psychonauts 2 is great. It has a great cast of characters, fun worlds to explore and some interesting new powers to play with. It’s pretty much everything I wanted in a Psychonauts sequel and it does all this stuff with a more considerate view of mental health and desire to get consent from everyone involved than the first game did.

In terms of its plot, its kind of even more ambitious than I would have even asked for in terms of like... in this game you put Ford Cruller’s mind back together. Its the kind of thing that I didn’t think would even be on the table.

The only thing that I’d say against the game is that it didn’t have a single world that stood out amongst the rest. You know like the Milkman Conspiracy in Psychonauts 1. I’d make an argument for the Sensatorium but thats more an incredibly strong visual aesthetic than like a perfectly executed gameplay mechanic. None of the worlds were bad, they were all of a good quality, and like, I don’t think it’s even possible to intentionally recreate the success of the Milkman Conspiracy. Not sure what I even want here. Lets say that Connie’s level was the new Milkman Conspiracy because I saw a figment of a foxie in there.

10. Citizen Sleeper

Citizen Sleeper is um like sort of a single player ttrpg. If there’s a specific genre that this fits into then I’m not familiar with it. I mean I know that rpg is a genre but it’s such a broad genre that it doesn’t really evoke the dice rolls and advancing clocks nature of this game.

You play as a sleeper, the consciousness of a human installed into a synthetic frame. Sleepers are essentially corporate property, designed to skirt laws against true artificial intelligences. And you are on the run, you’ve made it to a ruined space station and your goal is essentially to survive. To maintain yourself until you can find a way to elude the corporation seeking to reclaim you and to find yourself a place to belong.

Every day you roll a number of six sided dice which can then be assigned to any tasks you want to attempt, the higher the number the better the odds of success, whilst low numbers can be used to interface with electronic systems. Its actually a really neat system.

My only issues with the game are largely sort of self imposed. There’s a ticking clock that starts early and it seems to be a hard deadline to accomplish one of your tasks. It turns out eventually that it isn’t as hard a deadline as you might imagine, and the task you’ve been trying to accomplish is more of a long term goal. It did make me a bit more tense than I would have liked as I was approaching this event but that’s not too bad I suppose.

The other thing is that I triggered the sequence toward the conclusion quicker than I would have wanted. I was still finding and trying desperately to complete new stories as the final clock was ticking down to my ending. Once again that was on me, and perhaps on me not taking the time to explore each of the locations available at the beginning of the game until right at the end.

Overall it was a good experience and yes I did cry a little bit in this one.

11. A Memoir Blue

A Memoir Blue is a short mostly abstract game with some interesting visuals and implied narrative. It’s about a woman who is a famous swimmer and an examination of her history and relationship with her mother and I just have a thing against narratives that are like ‘the love of a family member is super special and its fine if a parent was neglectful because they have this special love and you should definitely forgive them etc etc’.

Maybe there’s something to be said about this one being like ‘okay yeah her mother wasn’t there for her but she was working hard to support her and as an adult she can see how much her mother was trying in ways she couldn’t appreciate at the time etc etc’ but like the game’s much too simple and abstract for that to really come across.

Some nice imagery but overall I really didn’t vibe with the percieved sentiment.

12. Genshin Impact - Fabulous Fungus Frenzy Event

The biggest problem that I have with Genshin Impact is that if you’re tired of whatever is happening in the story at the moment and you’ve got the idea and you don’t really need to listen to them discuss the matter back and forth, you can’t really skip through the dialogue. You can sort of. You can hit the next button and it will go to the next bit of dialogue, unless that bit of dialogue has an animation associated with it. If it does you have to sit and watch the animation before you can continue onwards. It means I can’t read the dialogue at my own pace. It’s always just a touch too slow and it makes the long winded dialogue feel more arduous than it would have to if I could just rapid fire skip through.

That’s not really the problem with this event. This event was mostly fine. I was engaged with the little storyline about catching fungi and using them as pokemon. This time it was the gameplay that felt tedious. I was only here to do enough to get the free character from the event so I gave up on the fungi battles as soon as I had the currency I wanted, but god were they tedious. Maybe it would have been less so if I’d been prepared to commit to memory the attacks and abilities of my little fungus guys but they gave me like twelve. I do not have the capacity to store that kind of information. As it was it was a fight where you stand there and every twenty seconds or so run and pick up a ball of light and then press a single button to trigger an attack, going on for like three to five minutes at a time.

And at the end it turned out I already had the character I did the whole thing for, I’d just forgot that I’d pulled for her.

13. West of Loathing

West of Loathing is a comedy western rpg. You do have stats and stuff, but a lot of the things you’re doing is solving puzzles or just experiencing odd little encounters.

It’s very freeform in its storyline. Like if you just follow the main story all you’re doing is solving two or three problems to help move the railroad across the west, but each of those allows a couple of different ways to reach your solution and most of the enjoyment of the game comes from the bizarre side storylines and the strange encounters you can have along the way.

There is turn based combat and it’s fine. Once again I have turned myself into a glass cannon and I can do so much damage I can destroy most enemies in a single hit but oops if I’m fighting against more than one enemy I’m having a Major Difficulty. I don’t know if that’s a fault of the game or just of the builds of characters that I tend to make. Surprisingly often there are ways to get around combat sections, either through skill checks or just through inventive use of your items and surroundings.

The humour is actually really good in this game. There’s one recurring bit where you can search for items in any spittoons you come across and the narrator will react in horror and desperately try to convince you not to go fishing around in there.

I had a lot of fun with this one, especially the DLC Reckonin’ At Gun Manor which I’m not going to give it’s own seperate number because it doesn’t feel distinct enough from the main game to warrant it. It does however have one of the best running jokes and payoffs in the game. It’s a fun time.

14. Alveole

Alveole is a puzzle game where you are a man running on a treadmill, occasionally there is a spike that you can jump over. Your goal is to fulfil arbitrary conditions hinted at through iconography on the screen. It kinda does a pretty bad job at communicating this though.

I played this on playstation. I had it on my wishlist, was notified that it was now about a pound and thought sure why not. Downloaded and tried it without rereading the store description and it was really unclear what I was supposed to be doing. I got an achievement just for trying all the buttons (i think?).

Once I’d sussed out what the goal was it was more engaging, but like even then each instance of the game is like two to three minutes of running and that’s an irritating length of time to try testing different theories. There are definitely some of them that I got just by messing around, with no idea of what I’d actually done to accomplish the task.

It’s not a terrible concept but its definitely not a great execution of the idea imo.

#ix plays video games

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skiyoosmi · 3 years

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to the stars above | z.

featuring. zhongli (genshin impact)

genre. fluff, angst, smut, ancient-liyue!au

word count. 5.4k

marga's notes. aAAAa look look, it's my first commission!! school has kept me really occupied for like the past month but after pulling a few all-nighters, i've finally finished my responsibilities along with this little baby! once again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you to my bubs @ramannnn for trusting me with this one <33

Nobody knows when the world began, how it came to be and why it continues to be. Even I, whose mind is filled with nothing but wonder for it, have no idea. One thing I am quite sure of... is how mine did.

It all started with him— a man of many titles, different identities yet at the end of the day, all these monikers are the same; it's all him. He adored Liyue more than anything else, knew it like the back of his hand. He went where the winds lead him, stayed where the moon shines upon him, stood where the golden sun kissed his skin. He found serenity in the walks he travels as he goes about his day, the sceneries his eyes take in and the calm sounds the nature resonates for him. And as if it was fate decided upon by the Celestia, it led him to me. Suddenly, my little world that used to be nothing became everything... quickly and all at once.

An exasperated sigh escapes from my lips, frustration and disappointment filling my whole being as I stare at the blank parchment paper I held in my hands. Another day was again wasted with no progress, I thought, mentally beating myself up for not being productive enough. Before I could further drown myself into such pessimistic ideas, I snap out of it and let my eyes cherish the view that lies ahead of me. Though I feel a little guilty for taking Vermeer's place, I can only whisper an apology with little to no sincerity. Because truly, nothing can beat the picturesque landscape of Luhua Pool— the crystal clear waters that would most probably reflect my face like a mirror if I were to ever look at it, the ruins that ignited the spark of curiosity within me, wondering about the pasts it holds and the stillness and feeling of peace it gives me as I sit in this cliff. Feeling somewhat a bit better, I place my things on top of the old bag I bring no matter where I go. There's always a better day for writing, I tell myself as a form of consolation, bringing my slim arms up to begin stretching. I've been sitting on this log for quite a long time now, after all.

"It seems like you are in a bit of a dilemma," a deep voice comments from behind me. Out of surprise, I lightly jump and turn my head towards the stranger. Right at that moment, it felt as if all the air circulating inside my body had been depleted. Captivating was an understatement as to how he appeared before me. With the sunlight striking his face and accenting his unique features further, he stood with his hands behind him, head tilted as he looked at me with interest, all while keeping his dignified posture.

"Oh, hello. I am afraid so, yes," I respond, or rather, mutter under my breath since I was not really used to having sudden encounters with other people, nor am I fond of it. I tend to keep to myself, finding it much more peaceful than having to tend to others' overbearing expectations and demands which is partly the reason why I chose to live in the outskirts, far from the center of Liyue that contrasts my comfortable abode, "I apologize. I failed to realize that somebody other than Vermeer liked to stay here," I told him, arching my eyebrows a little when he let out a breathy chuckle.

"Oh, you have no need for such formal apologies. I do not always go here, at least probably not as often as the man you call Vermeer. I was simply taking a walk and I think I got carried away by Liyue's view and eventually, my feet led me here," he explains, a hint of sheepishness present in his tone, "and I guess I'll have to thank my feet for that."

Because it led me to you, interesting one. For many years, it will remain unspoken, kept by the strange man to himself and unveiled once his heart gives up from the resistance he upholds.

For the following hours of lounging around Luhua Pool, I learned a lot about the stranger— he calls himself "Morax," and like the god of Liyue, he enjoyed history and is extremely knowledgeable about it, aspiring to know and understand everything of the world, he often brews tea, even going as far as inviting me once I am free from any form of work. Just as he shared facts about himself, I did too.

"So, Cheng, you said you have a bit of a dilemma?" he inquires, slightly angling his head towards the direction of the side I'm sitting on. I nod my head up and down, mouth forming into a small pout of disappointment as I remember that today has not been that progressive.

"Yes. I am trying to write a novel, you see. Something that will leave an impact on this world so that even if I may pass, I will still live on the memories of people," I tell him, an ambitious expression present on my face. He hums, eyes going over the terraces that make up the current view we have and the two huge statues standing by the ruins, "Why so?"

I pause for a moment to think of a reply, "I guess I just do not want to let someone alone in this cold world. Wouldn't that be too cruel and sad, to just leave them with nothing?"

If I'm able to write words that will provide comfort to my readers, then maybe... just maybe the world will be less lonely... even for just a little bit. At least, that's what I thought as silence consumed us, the sun setting as if to remind us that finally, another day is nearing its end. Now, what will tomorrow bring?

"Well then, I do hope I will be able to read at least some of your works at least once," he speaks as he stands up, lightly dusting away his clothes, "It certainly has been a pleasure to be your company, Cheng."

As he walks down the slope of the hill, his somewhat broad back facing me, I call out, "Will you be back?"

He stops and turns, a soft smile is plastered on his face as he responds, "Only time will tell."

But time was no friend of mine. At least that's what I have come to realize as many days passed without him returning to this place. Though maybe it's only because it almost felt as if time slowed down and I was only eager to see him again, something I have scolded myself to— what a fragile heart do I have to already seek a stranger's presence? That is what others call love at first sight, a devilish portion of my mind whispered cheekily within me and I gasped in disbelief, "Absolutely not," I lightly slap both of my cheeks, "I'm just too coped up in my own world. I probably need to go see more people."

That thought remains a simple yearning though because once again, I find myself lounging around the same spot in Luhua, a quiet hope ignited within me, fulfilled when I hear the familiar voice he adorns as he speaks, "You're here."

I release a sound that is between a giggle and a breathy chuckle, "And I see your feet had led you here once more?"

"They were curious, or should I say... I was," he explains as he takes a seat beside me, his posture remaining solid despite the uncomfortable position.

"Of what?" I ask.

"Of you," he simply replies, unaware of the sudden yet unsurprising effect it had on my heart that was already beating rapidly with just his mere presence. I try not to be so showy of it though, too embarrassed to even think of how fast I became fond of him.

But it was no wonder. After all, he himself was an interesting one; from the way he carries himself, the way he speaks, and the way he's just him... all and every action hold so much dignity that it just leaves me almost breathless and in awe every single time my eyes finds their way to his figure— and to think that this was just our second meeting? My mother would most probably let out the most shameless giggle as I tell her these thoughts, pushing me and teasing me like a normal person in their teens would. I shake my head to get out of these thoughts, listening to Morax as he tells another wonderful tale, almost making me think that he lived it himself with how he knew it, going over even with the smallest details.

"You know, Morax, you have such a good memory to remember all of those things despite simply hearing about it," I suddenly speak up in the midst of the silence that engulfed us while he tries to think of the next story to tell, "I hope I can stay in them too... in your memories, I mean. I know I am far from being the most interesting person but for some reason, I wish for that."

He pauses, eyes trailing slowly towards me, beyond my knowledge, before he lets out a somber smile. You already are, is another one of him that becomes an afterthought.

I heaved out a sigh before shaking my head again, "Ah! Why do I keep having such lonely thoughts? Forget about that. Please do not mind me, alright? I think I really need to stop being stuck in the mountains."

I pick up my small bag and shuffle inside it, letting out a quiet sound of 'aha!' as a sort of celebration when I successfully got a small book out, "Here."

He blinked his eyes in confusion, wondering what it was I handed to him so I spoke in delight, "You told me you wanted to read at least one of my works so, here. I am warning you though, it is not like the ones that sell best in the bookstores. It might bore you, or weird you out like what others say."

"What others say?"

"They say it's too unrealistic, too impossible... but I believe otherwise. We live in a world where gods and adepti watch over us. What makes my story impossible then?" I ponder, him still being confused.

"What is it about anyway?" He asks, having no idea of what the context my book had.

"It's about an archon who began living as a simple man in Liyue."

Our meetings became more frequent after that and eventually, we got comfortable with even just the presence of each other, having no need for long talks and such, but just peace. Today, like any other day, Morax was just reading the book I gave him, while I was thinking of what my next story would be about. Occasionally, he looks at me with an odd expression that is almost equivalent to astonishment, as if I have done something so great that it made him look at me that way.

"What made you think of this plot?" he asks all of a sudden, not forgetting to put a piece of paper that served as a bookmark on the page where he stopped just in case he accidentally closed it.

I hum, thinking about my answer to his question, "Hmm. Truth to be told, it was just a mere wonder for me. Archons and the adepti, although not entirely immortal, live so much longer than an average human does, watching over us as we go about our daily lives, waiting for sudden wars to break out and then fight the enemies that attack us. Growing up, those were the things that all the people around me told me. So I began to wonder, do they ever get tired? Is it not too taxing to keep on doing that? What if... they just lived with us, among the crowds? Because I think it is too lonely wherever they are. Would it not be better if they were with us, rather than above us, so they could at least have memories to live by?"

Morax does not give a response, or rather, he finds it difficult to find one. Still, it does not stop the affection that spreads within him. He does not say it out loud, but for someone who prefers to be alone, Cheng was full of empathy. And somehow, that did wonders to Morax's heart.

"Now that I think about it, I kind of actually want to address my books to them now," I hum once more, "It would be like a message for them: Do not be too lonely even if we pass. Because of your help, through these stories, we can show you that we lived a good life."

I huff as soon as I finish my sentence, "Although one of those who read it said that was impossible, because according to them, why would archons give up their power to live a life where there is only simplicity?"

Morax let out a sound that made it look as if he got offended himself, "Archons can do that, can they not?"

"I know! That was what I was saying to them. Anyway, I am not forcing them to like what I wrote. It's just a story, after all. It can do no harm," I shrug, beginning to fix my belongings as the sun began to set, "I should go now, Morax. It is still quite a long walk to my home."

"I want to live a good life too," he suddenly tells me, making me halt and turn to him in confusion, "With you. The good life and memories you shall tell in your stories, can I be part of them too?"

The universe does not stop for anyone, nor does time— science will consistently proclaim this fact matter what timeline we shall live in. No matter how much someone begs to the Celestia to grant their wish of controlling, or stopping time, no one will be able to do such things. But somehow, it seems like when it comes to him, everything is possible as I feel my world stop at his words, just like the way it also began when I met him. And as if planets were colliding with each other, I suddenly felt my heart crash upon him and as if out of instinct, I let go of the truth.

"Of course. It would be the greatest thing to have you."

Life was strange in its own way. That is what I have come to realize in this simple life of mine.

Despite the fact that the "me" of the previous year has never even thought about putting my whole being on my sleeve, it is pleasingly odd how right now, I find myself in this kind of situation with the man who swept me right under my feet and claimed my heart as his.

“You're cold," I whisper amidst the silence of the night in my abode, my index tracing the ears of the man who had me sitting right on his lap, the shorter strands of his silky hair tucked behind them. So, so alluring.

He takes hold of my wrist, planting a soft kiss on its side, all while maintaining eye contact as he quietly drawls, "Then I suppose you can keep me warm tonight. Will you?"

As if in a trance, I nod my head, letting him take the lead as he laid me down, back against the soft mattress, him following on top with his arms supporting his build. With arising confidence, I circle my arms around him and pull him down, bringing our lips together, a sigh of relief escaping both of our mouths as if to say, "Finally."

I wonder if he thinks the same way as I do— that this was Celestia in its own way. I felt like I could do anything as long as it was with him. The kiss felt like the power we once suppressed from each other became a supernova that changed our world's course all of a sudden. But despite the tension and heat we both emitted at the moment, there is a warmth that engulfs me the same time he fully wraps his arms around me.

I am here. I will always be here.

No noise disturbs the peace we have created, only the quiet sound of crickets reach our ears but even that fails to distract him from what he's doing. He gently tugs on the sash that keeps my coat tied. Nimble fingers explore the remains of my clothing, loosening all until I am set free from them.

His eyes raked over my body, an expression of awe plastered on his face for so long that it made me somewhat conscious. Because as he unravels his to me, I am enlightened by the fact that my figure is nothing worth comparing to his — not even close. A hint of sweat glints from his skin due to the moonlight, making him look even more ethereal. But who was I to complain?

So instead, I look down, fiddling a little with my fingers as I feel my cheeks heat up. How is it that I only realize now what kind of situation we are currently in? Before I further drown in such shameless thoughts, he lifts my head up by the chin, an amused look on his usually-gentle face, "Are you feeling shy, beloved?"

I meekly nodded, to which he lets out a soft laugh and whispers, "Don't be. You are the epitome of beauty itself. If you don't believe me, allow me to show you nothing but truth tonight, I swear under the moon and all these stars."

He dips down and captures my lips in a kiss once again with more passion, if it was still even possible.

"You are made for me, as I'm made for you," he proclaims as he thrusts inside me after minutes of preparation, soft pants and groans following his statements. I can only whimper in response, pain evident in my tone at first with my hands lightly clawing at his back. I pray to the heavens above that they don't leave awful marks after this.

He halts and utters an apology, thumb caressing the bone of my cheeks while he waits for me to adjust. He scans my face after a few seconds, relief flashing in his eyes when I nod for him to continue.

"I... b..." I try to speak out but the pleasure overwrites any sensical thought that goes through my mind. He slows down a little, looking over my face and smiles, urging me to talk.

"Stay with me, beloved. We still have all night," he tells me, encouraging me to voice what has been on my mind.

"I... I belong to you, always have and always will..." I manage to croak out, voice quite hoarse due to the sounds that I let out previously. Perhaps pleased with what I have proclaimed, he begins going even deeper and at the same moment, I begin falling deeper.

"Yes, yes, you do," he repeats like a mantra, his voice sounding more and more desperate to reach his high. I cry out with him, creating a harmony that even the best bards shall be ashamed.

It was a long night— the longest yet most beautiful night I have ever had in this simple life of mine. And in that moment, as we reach the stars together, I knew right there and then that this man is someone who will be etched in my heart for as long as I live, deep into its roots— for him, it shall beat and it shall love.

You, who are reading this, most probably have had enough of these teeth-rotting praises I kept on writing. But what can I do except to apologize? These words are the only ones that can flow out of my mind and mouth to show how magnificent it was to be loved by him.

Well, nothing significant really changed. He was still the same gentleman I met, if anything, more gentle. Just like in the beginning, he made my heart flutter every chance he gets, no matter how many years have already passed.

We built a dynasty together.

But maybe I should have known that ours were also bound to crumble like the ones that have long existed even way before us.

Days, months and years went on, I realized that he was actually the opposite of me— unlike me who was clearly not parallel with time, he held it right on the palms of his hand. I was not blind, nor was I a fool, I can clearly see how he looks like he has not aged a day, all while I was here, maturing more and more each second that passed by, the amount of signs of me aging increasing significantly.

Morax. Knowledgeable of history as if he lived it himself. Time. All these thoughts eventually congest my mind as realization dawns upon me. He was not merely a man named after the god himself— Morax was him, he was Morax.

"How appalling," I mutter with a hint of sadness and dismay in my tone. I stood in front of the mirror, fingers hovering over my face, wrinkles appearing as I scrunch it. A pair of firm arms snake its way around my lean waist, chin resting on one of my shoulders as he hums his words, "What has got your beautiful mind occupied, my beloved?"

Taking hold of his arms, I turn my body around to face him, a somewhat melancholic smile etched on my face as I look up at his much taller frame, "You are a sight to behold, even to this day." He arches one eyebrow out of amusement and curiosity, wondering why I suddenly started pouring him compliments. After all, my shyness prevents me from consistently doing so. Nonetheless, I continue speaking, "I wish... I could be with you even when everything changes into a whole new world."

I lifted a hand up to cup his cheeks and began rubbing it lovingly, a lone tear finally dropping from my eye as soon as I closed it, "but I cannot, I do not have the ability to do so... I am but a mere mortal, after all."

His eyes widen as he finally discerns my actions and concerns, immediately opening his mouth in hopes of consoling me but I beat him into speaking, "It's alright, Morax. I have been putting the pieces together for a while now. I am in no way angry. I just..." I pause, gulping hard before my lips start to quiver, "... I cannot imagine how lonely it must have been. And now... I think about it and I... I do not want to leave you alone again."

My cries eventually start becoming louder, something that is very new to the both of us, seeing as I have always been composed. Love can change a person into a whole new being. I remember a book I have read once and at the moment, I can only agree. Maybe it was the way my heart clenches at the mere thought of him walking alone, or the way I can imagine us taking our last breaths together yet I know that will never happen— but either way, it was painful.

He whispers sweet nothings to my ears, placing light kisses on my temple as he leads us to the bedroom to rest once my tears have finally ceased and I have calmed down. His hold on me gets tighter every time I let out a small hiccup due to crying, almost as if he was telling me that he was feeling the same pain as I was.

Hours pass by as we lay in silence. My tears have long dried up but we remain coped up in each other's arms.

"Would it not be interesting if you bear the name Zhongli?" I ask him in a somewhat croaky voice.

He peers down and tilts his head, "Now where did that thought come from?"

I shrug, or at least try to, and look up at the ceiling as we shift our positions to lay on our back, hands finding one another and intertwining, "Hmm... nowhere. Just a name I wanted to give you in case that you are needing a new one."

"Oh? How come it would be interesting then?"

I look at him with a comforting yet sad smile.

"Because it means it's time to leave, to go somewhere far away... and unfortunately, I will have to leave soon."

He furrowed his eyebrows together, "Do not say that. Who knows? Maybe you will be able to live a hundred years by my side. Besides, I think it sounds lonely. I do not think I would want to get reminded of the fact that you are not here with me."

I hum, "But if you bear the name I gave you, wouldn't it feel like I never went away? That no matter where your feet take you, no matter how far you go, I am and will always be with you, just as I have vowed."

The wooden door leading to my writing room slowly slides open and Morax's head peers in, an adorable smile plastered on his face, "You have been quite busy these days, beloved. I do not wish to disturb you but I am starting to long for your presence."

I let out a shameless giggle, "Alright, alright. Just let me write down a few more words while I still have ideas to input."

He peeks on the parchment paper out of curiosity, taken aback when he finds his name on it, "You are writing about us?"

I nod proudly, "My last piece."

"... But why?"

I smile and approach him, taking his hand and placing my forehead against his after he lowers his head down to my level, "I told you, did I not? I do not wish to leave the person I love with nothing. So that you will not be lonely, my words will be with you. I will be with you, always..."

"... and to tell the gods... to tell you, that I loved every second of my life with you— that it was, indeed, a good life."

"Who are you, young man? Are you my son?" I speak with a very hoarse voice, squinting my eyes at the figure in front of me, as if my poor vision will allow me to do that.

I hear a melancholic yet gentle sigh come from him before he takes my rough hands and looks afar, "Don't mind me. I'm just someone who vowed to be with you for as long as time lets us."

"Oh.... really? That’s quite endearing," I hum, "Well, may I know your name?"

"This… I think I may just have an idea to whom this book is for," Paimon trails off, looking over at the traveler who was in the same trance as her, "Paimon thinks we should let the strange person we saw a while ago give this directly to Zhongli!"

Lumine nods, turning around and starting to run towards the direction they were at previously, recalling the person named Cheng who gave them the novel they just finished reading. They were unique, dressed in layers of robes and it was almost as if they lived in the old times of Liyue. Even the way they talked and moved screamed ancient.

Just as they turned the corner, a woman near the Liuli Pavilion called them over, "Traveler! Here!" As they approach, Lumine cranes her neck to look around the area but to no avail, the strange person was long gone.

"Are you two alright?" the woman asks, much to their confusion, "I saw you talking to literal air awhile ago and I was worried you have eaten something strange."

The pair looks at each other in surprise before Paimon replies, "You didn't see anyone? Like a person dressed in the strangest attire? They dressed really anciently!"

The door of the Liuli Pavilion opens and there goes Zhongli, a calm expression morphing to an awkward one when he realizes he barged into an ongoing conversation. He apologizes for the disturbance and despite the curiosity he had upon overhearing bits of Paimon's statements, he starts his walk back to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. At least not until he hears Paimon call his name, "Zhongli! Wait! A person named Cheng. Do you know them?"

He abruptly stops and turns to the two, eyes wide for a second before it returns to his usual demeanor, "How... how do you know of them?"

"We met them," Paimon says, as if it was the simplest thing to do, "Well, honestly, we don't know because we were apparently speaking to nothing but air! It's so odd!"

He stays still, honestly having no idea of what response he should give them because he himself found it hard to believe.

"Well anyway, they asked us to give you this nov— wait, where is it? It was just in your hands a while ago, Traveler!"

In the midst of the loud chaos made by the two in the middle of Liyue, he thinks he knows what to do and where to go now.

It was the day of the Rite of Parting, an event where he's supposed to be taking part of, even just a part of the audience. But he finds himself hanging around the Wanwen Bookhouse, eyes scanning the shelves until it stops at a familiar name engraved on the cover of a book.

"Oh! Greetings, Mr. Zhongli! I see you took a liking to a very great and romantic novel," Jifang comments as she sees the book in his hands.

He looks at her, "Is it really great?"

She gasps in delight, "Yes, indeed! Almost all of the Liyue folks have enjoyed this story! You can say it is a classic, especially for readers! Cheng definitely outdid themselves with this one! Such a mysterious person yet equally amazing. Imagine? Being able to make such a beautiful love story with Morax? They don’t mention the present name they gave Morax though, such a shame. Maybe it was due to old age, they wrote it until the last moments of their life after all. Anyway, I have to get back to work but enjoy reading that masterpiece!"

He feels his heart swell in pride upon knowing his lover had his wish come true. His nimble fingers carefully open the pages of the book and hours later, as he sat inside the Funeral Parlor after taking the novel home, he finds himself absorbing each and every word Cheng have written, the loneliness sitting idly inside him subsiding little by little.

I found solace in the countless cups of tea you brew whenever I encounter distress with my works, the endless stories you tell with a smile so beautiful that not even the most heavenly scenery can vanquish, but most of them all, the feeling of your hand intertwining with mine, providing me with serenity no one else has ever done before. Under the moonlit night of Liyue, I remember your wistful amber eyes, staring deep into my soul as you proclaim your love and desire for me. How foolish was it of me to think that I could live this life without even experiencing such warmth and intimacy?

It is a banality, really — how I wish to become a well-known writer with unique tales and yet the story I am telling is something so common to folks that they have most probably heard similar ones before. But I guess this is what it means to love and to be loved. Everything is like a cycle that just keeps on being repeated, yet we never get tired of it, of the feelings it brings. So, thank you, Morax. Words will never be sufficient to show how grateful I am to you for showing me a whole new world but I suppose this is still a way for me to give back to you.

With this little book of mine, I hope my heart reaches yours regardless of how many eras may have passed before and after us. So, my beloved, do not be too lonely without me. Even if you find yourself longing for my presence, just open this and my heart shall be with you.

This belongs to you, it always will.

And I do, as well.

#genshin impact #zhongli #genshin x oc #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #zhongli x oc #zhongli x reader #genshin headcanons #zhongli headcanons #genshin scenarios #genshin fic #genshin fluff #genshin smut #zhongli smut #zhongli imagines

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tomatograter · 4 years

Note

New to the fandom, Could you explain June? 💯 Love and support her. But homestuck 2 doesn't have her and I'm just confused?

June Egbert precedes the concept of homestuck^2! I’ve seen a lot of people be confused about this because they weren’t active on the fandom at the time the epilogues dropped, when reading her as a trans woman got a lot of discussion going and eventually lead to multiple confirmations.

So here’s an attempt at contextualization:

Throughout Homestuck, a few key ideas about Egbert’s identity and motivation to push forward with her hero’s journey are dropped like breadcrumbs. She’s meant to play the default straight-man protagonist. Her defining traits are ridiculously… generic, when compared to how all the other kids present themselves and stick to exaggerated bits. She’s a perfectly normal, regular suburban kid with normal, suburban issues.

She may not leave her room a whole lot. She may not have a lot of real life friends in the neighborhood. She holds a comical irritation for the concept of birthdays, even though her father is extremely supportive, and is delighted to see his son grow up nice and healthy. There’s no reason for her to be so irrationally upset at cakes and gifts, and that’s what makes the setup funny! June doesn’t even know why she’s annoyed with half of the things that annoy her, what the heck.

But under all that playing around there is a sense that her life is so normal, so blasé, so unexciting and limiting and hollow and fake that she’d give anything to not be herself, even if only for ten minutes. This goes way, way back. It’s why June needs SBURB to happen.

June lives as though her life hasn’t started yet. She’s stuck in the Tutorial stage. I would argue while most kids (and trolls) play SBURB to escape a shitty environment or the end of the world as they know it, June plays for a simpler reason: She needs to escape herself, and she needs to do it before it is too late.

Being thirteen means crossing the homeric abyss between being a child with no care for the world sporting a generic hand-me-down identity and becoming a Teen (capital T) who needs to figure out how to cope with atrocious bodily changes while building the adult they’re meant to be AND deciding what the fuck they want out of life, and how they’re going to work to get it, forever and ever.

When you’re trans, and you don’t yet know you’re trans (or that this is a thing you’re even ALLOWED to be) the above feels a lot like serving a life sentence for an intangible crime.

You know what you’re supposed to do. You’ve seen it on tv, you’ve heard it from your dad, you know what are the normal trials and tribulations. You know you'll grow a few pimples and stubble and you'll need to learn how to shave, obviously, because it's basically a tradition in your family, and no one is really happy to be a teen. You know at some point you'll find a nice girl and you'll grow a hat out of your skull and then you will have to pay taxes and maybe you will have a baby daughter? You'd like it to be a daughter for no particular reason. And when you get a daughter you're going to name her Casey and she's going to be adorable and this is something you've dedicated a lot of thought to. Maybe its because you thought Nic Cage looked really cool with those long flowing locks in con air, the movie who featured a trans woman as a minor character for a few minutes (and she gets quite a bit of compliments, regardless of how the movie has aged), and he had a really exciting life, but goddamn did he love his daughter. There is no purer love than the bond between a father and his daughter.

This absolutely has nothing to do with your father and you, or how you hold no excitement for becoming an adult man, or how your father's excitement for you becoming an adult man in your stead feels a little stifling.

But i digress.

June spends her time on SBURB mostly hassling karkat, and readily following the instructions of zany, dangerous, COOL girls that seem to know what they're doing. June lets Terezi lead her to certain death without blinking. June lets Vriska dress her up as soon as opportunity presents itself. June thinks its really funny to trick this troll Who Types Really Oddly into believing she's Rose, and also into believing that she's a very silly girl. You may even say Homestuck employs a few of jokes pertaining to how her name looks like EGG !

June has a ball playing this game until it starts to get shitty. She's never able to mend her relationship with her dad, as he's one of the first causalities. She has to spend a lot of time waiting around with jade on a ship until things get cool and exciting again, but she never stops growing during those three years. Its fine, though, because there's always more things to be done and more people to fight.

Until there aren't, and they make a new earth, and while everyone cheers and claps for the birth of a new planet June realizes all her excuses are over. Her friends begin to grow up. Rose gets married. Jade is living her best life. Dave has a not-boyfriend glued to his hip. Jane has a job. Jake is on TV for some reason. June doesn't want to leave home. June's birthday is around the corner again. Here come all the congratulations for becoming a strong lad for yet another year! Vriska is gone. Terezi is gone. SBURB is over. Wacky hijinks have been swapped for real-ass, boring-ass Regular life. We watch her unsuccessfully chase after the glory of days gone by when Rose presents her the possibility of going back into the game, when things were cool and mattered, or her flimsy decision to settle down with a nice girl she hasn’t really made an effort to know and become a father and be absolutely miserable for four decades as she asserts nothing is real, not anymore, and this is just how it is.

Depersonalization, depression and general apathy towards the world are all pronounced aspects of dysphoria that seem like unrelated incidents for someone who hasn't came out yet. June's trainwreck of a life post-game, specially her feeling of hollowness and chasing after anything that could fill it struck a chord with trans readers who left the epilogues to read HS again and discovered this has always sort of been here. June being a trans woman who doesn't have the proper vocabulary to express she is a trans woman makes a lot of earlier bits from the comic click into place, now in a broader context. We settled in the name "June" because it's what she imagines Vriska is calling her at some point, amid laughs, but even that was discussed for a lengthy period last year. What would she want to be called, what are possible tags for this, etc. But it was mostly for fun and games, because the prospect of the protagonist of a 10 year old beloved cult series being ACTUALLY confirmed as a trans woman just wasn't something that was done.

Until word got around to Andrew Hussie and he was reportedly so pleased with this interpretation of events he’d be making references to it, and some time later, a box of toblerones was left in a cave as a gift for fans to find. The first person to find a toblerone thought it would be funny to dedicate it to June, because now she was an ongoing reference that was fun to make. Instead of it ending there, Hussie logs on twitter for the first time in a long while to say 'Oh yeah, i'll make it happen' and that's when the whole thing exploded. I have a post detailing this made a year ago (with pictures!) so i won't keep you here.

In the year since, June has been vaguely alluded to in Pesterquest (in jade's end card, she's having her nails painted by rose.) Has been widely adopted by the community, those making their own fanventures and continuations, and the team behind Homestuck^2. In every way that matters, she's already thriving within the community that brought her to light a year ago. But her coming out in canon is something that will take time and a proper narrative arc to happen, one that is still being set up. We know it'll come eventually, the only question is “how”.

Not that the wind waits for anyone.

#meta #june egbert #homestuck #homestuck 2

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teacupfulofstarshine · 3 years

Text

you're the pink in my cheeks (i'm a little bit soft)

summary: "and i know we'll never grow old together / cause you'll never grow old to me / you're the pink in my cheeks / and i love that it means i'm a little bit soft / you're the pink in my cheeks / and i love that it means i'm a little bit soft"

- "monster," marceline (adventure time)

(OR: 5.4k of soft domestic lesbian!analogical, featuring lesbian!moceit, trans male!remus, trans female!roman, and Gay Shenanigans)

a/n: huge thank you to dandie for beta'ing this fic!

i just wanted to write wlw is that so wrong of me? no. no it is not.

CW: alcohol mentions, a few sex jokes, swearing, one implied instance of potential sexual activity (although it doesn't go any farther than making out; if you want to skip that part, skip the section that starts with "Did you get the right kind of popcorn?")

word count: ~5.4k

read it on ao3!!

“I think I may be going insane,” Logan says, squinting at her laptop screen. Virginia, hanging upside-down in the armchair, looks up from her phone and blinks.

“And why is that?”

“Because I am starting to agree with Rosie’s anti-Florida agenda.”

“I didn’t realize that there was an anti-Florida agenda.”

“Rosie has one, and I have always thought it facetious. However, if this laboratory does not start sending me my requested samples and information in a timely manner, I will be forced to concede that Rosie may have . . . a point.”

“You, agreeing with a lit major? I never thought I’d see the day,” Virginia teases. Logan initially resists the urge to stick her tongue out or flip Virginia off, because that would be childish, but then she remembers that Virginia does not care about her childishness, so she sticks her tongue out. Virginia snorts with laughter, and Logan feels warm, fizzy pop-rocks bursting in her chest.

Her phone buzzes next to her, and she picks it up. There’s a new message blinking for her attention on the screen.