#we live in a high fantasy setting where nothing is translated

[nimblermortal]

Aarau, a real city in our real world called Eaglemeadow

(der Aar, the eagle, in modern language shortened from edler Aar to Adler, + Au, a sort of field or meadow)

You could decimate its expected population just by calling it Birdfield instead

[balkanradfem]

Do you ever think about how sad and messed up it is to grow up in this world as a little girl who likes to read. Because you are a child, and you don't get that there's a difference in who writes the books, you read everything you like, you read the adventures and the fantasy and the mysteries and the traumatic stuff and if you're also very isolated and lonely, these books build your worldview. Because why wouldn't they? They're written by humans, so they have the attitudes, opinions, perceptions, morals and spirits of human beings in them, they're telling you what humans think and feel about things, how they go about situations, what they imagine, what they desire. What your role in all this is, or what it could potentially be.

But, since you are not capable of differentiating the material, and you just read what is available to you, you end up reading a lot of books written by m*n. You also have to go thru the required reading at school - 90% written by m*n. And so slowly, since young age, without even socializing or learning it thru interaction, you find yourself in a world shaped by minds who do not have empathy for women, especially not for little girls. You find yourself relating to the male protagonists, but you also find out that girls only play a passive role in their stories. You find that m*n problems are centered, made important, their suffering and violence critical points in the story, while women are cast aside as helpers, servants, givers, caretakers, and generally just exist in the background, not a thought given to what they are going thru.

You learn thru books written by m*n, that your experience is secondary. Even if you cast yourself as the adventuring, immensely important and struggling protagonist, even then the other women in your mind end up being just background characters, caregivers who do not need a thought spared for their suffering.

Books written by m*n, even for children, will trivialize female suffering to the point where they shape the child's mind into one that looks at the world from a male perspective. Where women either don't matter, or are capable only of giving and aiding, to be cast aside for more important matters, such as male aspirations for their own lives.

Thinking back, I understand why I felt myself unimportant and trivial in any social setting - I understood my role from the written word, and I knew adults found me trivial, secondary, only a background figure to someone else's adventure or mission. As much as I could fight it in my fantasies, and make myself the main character, it felt like a pipe dream, like something that was incredible self-indulged and selfish and would never translate to reality.

I wish it had been different. I wish I had been introduced specifically and only to books written by women, for women. I wish I had found empathy for myself in those books. I wish I had found myself standing on high ground, equal ground, with other women, our desires centered, our lives translated into tales of epic importance - because that's what they are. I wish I had been born into a world where female perspective is available from the start, not after years of growing up and finding feminist literature and having to re-write my own role in my brain, from all of those years of reading male perspective as the default.

I don't think any little girl should be exposed to literature that shape her world as a place where she doesn't matter. I don't think books written by males and shaped by their worldview should be allowed into children's literature, or teenage or for young adults. Girls should not be learning from fiction that their most important value is empathy and understanding for male problems, and their second, to be desired and/or helpful to them, all while being treated as nothing but service and background noise until you're desired for something. We need to open books and find out that we matter too. That our lives can be the center of our existence, rather than being in the service of someone else's life.

[felassan]

DRAGON AGE: SOUNDTRACK 4LP BOX SET - DISC 4 SIDE A (BONUS DLC TRACKS) 1. I AM THE ONE (DARK FANTASY VERSION) [DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS] (4:10) 2. MAIN THEME [DAI DESCENT DLC] (2:58) 3. AFTERMATH [DAI DESCENT DLC] (1:29) 4. DARK SOLAS THEME [DAI TRESPASSER DLC] (3:01) 5. QUNARI ATMOSPHERE [DAI TRESPASSER DLC] (2:41) 6. LOST ELF THEME [DAI TRESPASSER DLC] (3:58) 7. D'READ KODA (1:08) [HIDDEN TRACK]

I find the arrangement of the tracks on Disc 4 Side A "Bonus DLC Tracks" in the Dragon Age OST vinyl interesting. it's called "Bonus DLC Tracks" but the first track it features is "I Am The One (Dark Fantasy Version)", which isn't from DLC, it's from basegame DA:O, and ofc the last track is new. this disc is the only one of the discs to include songs from multiple games (and not even just two, but three: DA:O, DA:I and DA:D, assuming that "D'Read Koda" is from or tied to DA:D). and the order the Trespasser tracks are included in is different to the order they appear in on the Trespasser OST, at least going by the Trevor Morris album (on there it's Dark Solas Theme, Lost Elf Theme, Qunari Atmosphere). I wanna say that the way it was arranged was intentional, like the specific arrangement of the tracks on this disc is like hinting at telling a sort of a story or a tease. he's lost, and then things come to an end (his story and.. something else?). a passage of music that brings the music to a close (coda), that brings a piece or movement to an end. I think of when Flemythal said

Alas, so long as the music plays, we dance.

and when Solas said

 I walk the dinan'shiral. There is only death on this journey. [death is an end, and it can be a metaphor for the end of something too]

my eye is also drawn to:

I am the One (Dark fantasy version) [...] Dark Solas theme

especially since there's a different version of I Am The One ("High fantasy version") that could have gone in there instead (which as the second song on the DA:O OST, the high fantasy version is more of a 'where this all began' song).

the idea that "I Am The One" is about Solas/Fen'Harel and what happened in ancient Elvhenan (and what his intention is in the future) is a common fan theory, and not a new one. [link to English translation of the lyrics] the lyrics could be applied to a lot of things, or nothing at all, but back then there was a war (both within the Evanuris and one they fought before that), a divide between the gods, the sky was held back/there was great destruction when the Veil was raised (but despite that there was a flicker of hope in that the elves were freed from the Evanuris), the nature of time for the ancient elves was changed (elven immortality/mortality), he references the potential for the world now to burn in the raw chaos if he succeeds, In Your Heart Shall Burn/From The Ashes etc. he ended up being one of the only survivors who lived on from the event and fears dying alone, is one of the only elves in modern Thedas who remembers, he's asked for and turned to for guidance at various points (Lasa ghilan / Ma ghilana mir din'an / Ma ghilana, vhenan / Fen'Harel ma ghilana), he believes he's the only one who can fix it now in the modern day, etc.

listening again to D'Read Koda, the echo-y, pulsing aspect and how it rises to a crescendo reminds me of the music in the Dread Wolf Rises teaser (which is still such a banger). and the discordant notes remind me of the same here and here in the 2020 trailer music. the 'discordant note' hook is also present here in the in-game cinematic (also at the start and throughout it sort of underpinning it), and the general ominous atmosphere of the 'koda' also echoes that of the various bits of music we've heard in trailers and the in-game cinematic before.

anyways, since I don't have a vinyl player I made the tracks as a lil playlist for myself on Spotify and have been listening to that then playing one of the videos with the D'Read Koda audio in it (since ofc it isn't on Spotify rn) to have the same effect, and it's interesting.

[charmac]

Do you think we're just imagining things macdennis this season and manifesting to hype some eps up or it was really there ... we're not making it up right?

Absolutely not, lmfao. Like, look, watch the episodes while high it's just, batshit insane. Inflates. Like, dude, they shared a fucking pull-out inflatable couch. Right after Dennis told Charlie he has a whole empty bedroom, thus no reason to be sharing a bed with Frank, he is sharing a bed with Mac, when they have a whole TWO (empty) bedrooms.

Two bedrooms?? There's TWO bedrooms? And you're sharing a bed with Mac...for TRULY NO REASOn.

Man that was the first episode. And since then, how many fucking gif sets and screencaps and goddamn collages can we make out of the looks and the touches.

Were you here for 15? Did you experience 15 live? Same number of episodes, you know how many Macden touches and/or looks we got? I could count on one hand. That was CRUMBS. Nothing, barely anything. You know how many Macden touches and/or looks we've got this season? Bro I couldn't even ballpark it for you. Like. My mind starts whirring like a slot machine, pull the lever, any scene with Mac and Dennis you're landing on some look, or some touch, or a goddamn gay ass moment. A fucking, I'm catfishing you and I'm the one controlling the anal beads that are currently jammed against your prostate, watch, I am literally stimulating your protstate right now, Mac.

And okay 15, sure, was a different season, but 14? Dude, I love 14 but it's incomparable the way Dennis treats Mac, it's insane. It's like we're living in some fuckin fantasy AU Dennis is a neutered man, my god. Gets Romantic is my all time favourite episode and look, look, look at that bed sharing, "what are we doing here?" and now LOOK AT THE BED SHARING. God, Dennis is so kind... look at him, letting Mac and Charlie have a convo about fancy nuts in the middle of the night...translating for Mac...why the fuck did they SELL all their furniture man, that's just. That's.

What is happening in Bowling, what is. Don't do it, Mac, don't do it. I won't. DEFY.

And the looks, there's looks, every where all the time. Booze, what's happening, why's Mac getting one up on him, and he's letting him. "Why are you fighting me on this?" "...C'mon."

Oh, wow. Mac's got him, hasn't he? That's real...very real. There's something pulling Dennis down, keeping him placated and right under Mac's thumb, not perfectly, not completely, but man, oh man, are his balls being held well.

Erm what? Is it all in our heads? Are we hyping it up too much? In comparison, the past 10 years, since Mac came out, no. It's not in our heads, there's very much a lot going on that we haven't seen in a decade. Very much so. What's it worth? Remains to be seen. Do I think we'll get an explanation next week? Probably not. I think they're pushing it heavy-handed and well, but not explicitly, not yet...

[stranger-rants]

Is it me or does the Duffers' decision to kill Eddie seem classist? Think of how that translates to other fans who might identify with him because they live in trailer parks or have to do things they're not proud of to get ahead or stay afloat but still have aspirations and set goals for themselves despite their situations. They didn't give him that chance even though he was trying so hard, but because he didn't graduate high school all the time and engaged in "degenerate" activities like stealing trailers and joyriding and the scene with the wires and selling drugs, lived on garbage food and didn't have the luxuries or opportunities the main surviving characters do, didn't have it easy, he represents so many teens with hard lives. And the decision that HE had to die of all people... just gives me the ick for that reason. They should've been smart and considered what kind of message that sends to kids like Eddie, that they get punished. Did this cross your mind too?

They did say Eddie was “doomed” from the start - that he wasn’t going to graduate and he would probably end up in jail. I get that they were trying to say that no matter what, the town would treat him like he was The Devil. However, my dudes… y’all are writing this. You could have easily resolved that particular conflict by showing Eddie defending the town instead of killing him in by far one of the most pointless-to-the-narrative onscreen deaths I have ever seen for a character.

I take issue with how they positioned him as an oppressed outcast to begin with, borrowing the aesthetic of Satanic Panic in the 80s without really understanding it. Again, it says a lot that Eddie was the initial target of the panic but that shifted to Lucas with Eddie nowhere in sight of The Mob. The lack of narrative continuity and the way you can just tell they��re projecting their own oppression fantasies onto these characters for being NERDS while expressing the most classist, racist, sexist, et cetera opinions make me roll my goddamn eyes any time they talk. Tragedies are only effective if there is a connection made between the tragic event (e.g. Eddie’s death) and the events leading up to it that could have been avoided (e.g. The lynch mob). This is effective for maybe a quarter of Eddie’s story, but it completely loses focus on that trajectory by separating Eddie from the Hawkin’s lynch mob and having him fucking die for no real reason fighting monsters anyone in their right mind would run away from, where his death is witnessed by one character who has to tell his uncle (and the audience) he died a hero even though his death did nothing.

The absurdity of his death calls into question the motivations behind The Duffer’s choice to make him a tragic “doomed” character. I am still pissed about what they did to Billy, but there are things that happened in his story that made it an effective tragedy even moving into season 4, despite their best efforts to put dirt on his name. The person he became because of his traumas makes him difficult to love, and as a result he is unable to get the support he needs to survive. He dies in one of the show’s most intense scenes, where it is witnessed by everyone. He was hurdling towards an inevitable end because of the failure of his community to protect him in many ways, and he decides to die for them despite this. That is fucking tragic, and it would be an unbelievably good tragedy if they didn’t keep shitting on Billy as a character after the fact. The fact that we have to be told that Eddie was a hero, but you have to fight tooth and nail to get anyone to acknowledge that Billy actually did die a hero is a failure on the Duffer’s part to understand what they actually fucking wrote… which isn’t a surprise considering how much of what they wrote was heavily dependent on actor input. They are fucking hacks.

All of this is to say that Eddie’s death and their comments on his death are classist. They wanted a character who was easy for the audience to love, easy to market and make a profit off of them, who they could kill off for a relatively lower-risk on screen death all while hiding these motivations behind the lip service they pay to issues like poverty and social isolation. Eddie was not actually doomed because he was poor or neurodivergent or a social outcast. There were plenty of opportunities to subvert that, but they didn’t.

He died an utterly pointless death, and I stick by that.

I grew up in a trailer park with alcoholic parents. I graduated high school and college. I have a Master’s degree, and my own house and my own car. Like Eddie, I had alternative interests and I was socially outcast in some ways. I am not an exception. There are plenty of people like me. If they wanted Eddie to represent what happens to people who are rejected from society, fine… but then they should have linked it back to the Hawkins community and not have him run into a hoard of fucking demobats for no goddamn reason.

[svyat0s]

#Hi_from_reality Art&concept by Ol Albireo Feel free to write your stories and name arts. You also can do not only write, but draw, sing, create music and sculptures, translate into other languages you learn for practicing (and never simplify text when you translate it!). Show us that you did.

Infinite inevitability.

"Why are you so calm?" Savra tore herself away from the papers and looked around the department. The men were relaxed, fooling around. Khan and Rodon were throwing paper balls at each other, Fadge was lazily flicking the settings, aiming the destroyer at the paper-balls that had fallen to the floor. Mergen looked out the window, where Firokami was sparkling with life. " Don't you guys even care? We've got a killer walking around town!" " There's more than one," Mergen said lazily, turning away from Firokami and toward the girl. He put his hands behind his head and half-lounged in a comfortable chair. "Savra, it's only in bad movies or the same bad books detectives consider their raison d'être* to catch a murderer. Or some maniac. Or whatever. But there won't be fewer maniacs, murderers or other criminals. Spending your life on one person is... something from the realm of erotic fantasies. What's that in psychology? Negative intimacy? Something like that. "We're not living under socialism, or whatever Amiy calls it... something out of a book from a thousand years ago... the era of the outstretched hand or something. That's what he calls the communist utopian system," Han joined the conversation. "There, it is a natural goal, to catch and reeducate criminals. All of them. But we live in a world that breeds criminals. People have nowhere to go but to commit crimes. Didn't you learn sociology in high school? "I did, that's why I don't understand why, if every Firokaman knows about the historical laws of society, why doesn't anyone make a better system?!" "Because every Firokamian knows why it won't work," Rodon smirked, "no one wants to waste their lives. It's a thankless task. Where can we put all those perpetually disgruntled whiners? The bourgeois who can't get enough of anything." "Well, maybe we could... teach..." Savra began. "Well, now they teach everyone everything. So what? - Rodon smirked again. - Firokami simply obeys the laws of society as best he can without backsliding. The side effect, of course, is people thrown out of society. Who have nothing left but to find meaning in a life of crime. "Even if they're psychotic, angry, evil morons. They have nowhere to go for treatment. There is no treatment. They understand how they're going to be treated, and they certainly don't want to be treated that way," Mergen said. "So we're just relentless retribution. The psychos in Firokami just need to know that we're going to catch them anyway. That it's more expensive to commit crimes than not to. Today or tomorrow, we'll catch them." Mergen sighed. " But it's not worth it to worry about them, to stay up nights, to waste your nerves and your health, even your mood. Not only do they never end here, but they're in neighboring worlds, too. You catch one here, and he'll continue to shit right next to you, just one choice away." "Then why are we working?" The girl asked. "For their decisions." Fadge smiled at the girl. "Like the guys said, to make everyone realize that it's more expensive for them to commit a crime than not to. So the world doesn't get better from any work we will have done, but it gets better from the fact that we do it. You got that?

*reason of being Smiling killer. Extra puzzles - 2. AlbireoMKG

[kdramaxoxo]

‘The Sound of Magic’ ep 1 - thoughts

I did it! I watched the first episode of The Sound of Magic. But you knew I would because I’ll always give anything Ji Chang Wook does a chance because I’m a softie (and I never learn a lesson). Also, Hwang In Yeop is the cutest 31 year old high school kid ever!

Anyways, I have mixed feelings but before I go further, you should know I do not enjoy television musicals. I don’t hate them I’m just very meh about them. But being the first musical K-drama, I want to give it a chance because I love fantasy stories and I can get past the musical part (I think).

-no spoilers-

About The Sound Of Magic:

The set up is pretty simple - there’s a poor student who is bullied in school, and can’t seem to catch a break. There’s rumors of a magician who is basically “the witch who lives at the end of the block” trope. People fear him and tell tales but haven’t experienced anything first hand. It’s not breaking boundaries or anything but there’s nothing bad about it so far.

The Music:

If you love Disney movies, you’ll probably love this drama. The song formats are super Disneyfied like Beauty and the Beast, Frozen, etc. There’s that intro song where the whole town (for this it’s all of the students) dances and then there is “the want” song where the lead sings about wanting a better situation. Then there’s the “I can show you the world” song the magician sings to draw the lead in.

Personally I find that very predictable so I fast forwarded through most of the songs (after about 30 seconds of making sure I know what they’ll be singing about.) But if you DO love musicals, the songs are well done and the singing is lovely.

The acting issue:

Choi Song Eun plays the leading lady and she’s great!  She’s acting her heart out and I’m loving her story line even if it is a bit predictable. Hwang In Yeop has barely done anything yet so I have no idea what he’ll be like but so far so good. I’m hoping the drama will be about lonely people who need comfort and I’m 100% here for that.

Let’s talk about Ji Chang Wook though: The issue (and I’m sure you knew this was coming) is Ji Chang Wook’s character The Magician. I’ve been looking at the tumblr tags seeing what people are saying (also hoping I’m not the only one feeling the way I do - I am though) and everyone’s like “he’s so hot” “love this drama cause he’s hot” and yes, he is very very hot. This is true. But his character just doesn’t translate very well. He spends a lot of time saying “do you believe in magic?” and taking large fancy steps and hanging off of carousels while showing off his cape. It feels like everyone in the drama is a real person and he’s sort of a cartoon lacking depth.

I’m watching his face and he’s trying to look thoughtful, etc and I can’t really figure out his motivation for anything. It’s like he’s missing depth (which I’m guessing is a directing problem since the dude can act). It’s only episode 1 but k-dramas are not usually subtle so we’ll see. On top of that he’s constantly having these conversations with the high school lead and it feels a little inappropriate? I know I know - it’s just a magical musical! But like, he’s a 35 year old man trying to playfully engage with a 16 year old at night and it just feels kinda weird. If you watch it you’ll see what I mean ;-)

Should You Watch The Sound Of Magic?

Yes! I’m very selfish and want you to watch it so we can talk about it (good or bad!). It’s doing a decent job telling the story and with the music. It’s not the best thing I’ve watched by a mile but it’s an interesting effort. And though I’ll probably make fun of it a lot, I’ll still enjoy parts of it (mostly Ji Chang Wook’s long floofy hair - LOVE IT ).

[wingzie]

Brutally Honest Reactions to Jikook

It was requested on Twitter that I talk about the less positive posts about Jikook moments from my live reactions research. These will NOT include any screenshots, but I will discuss what I saw. I will continue to keep posting positive things about Jikook, but the fandom reaction towards Jikook is one of the reasons why I feel so strongly about supporting them so much. Please read ahead if you are interested. I will also keep it out of the Jikook tag.

I will quickly add my own experience here before I continue. I am an early 2019 ARMY. I didn't follow any BTS accounts on Twitter until after I caught up on content. I then started following Jikook accounts once I got braver, because I could see a clear difference in the way the fandom talked about them. (Or not at all in some cases.) It wasn't until I started following Jikook accounts, that I knew about GCF Tokyo. For a fandom that hyped up Jungkook being a director for LGO, his previous work and especially GCFT is rather ignored. Especially when it's obvious that Jungkook has always had an interest in making videos. 

GCFT

An important factor here is that GCFT was posted after Jimin's lovely twitter edit. From what I saw, no one had any real issues with Jimin's edit. The general consensus was that it was sweet that Jimin and Jungkook were finally able to go on a trip together and that Jimin made an edit out of it. But if that's the case, why were there then issues when GCFT was posted, that are still here today?

Compared to Jimin's edit, there is a clear sense of jealousy when GCFT was released. A "sweet trip" turned into a "not big deal" or started to include fake narratives. Some of which really confused me at first, until I asked someone at the time and got the truth. 

There is a sudden change of tone aimed towards Jikook: “How dare they go on a trip together?” and “how dare they share it with us this way?.”  It's clear to me that this jealously suddenly began because of the editing style, the camera shots and the song used. All of which made you feel a certain way when watching GCFT, if you were not so blind or bitter. However, the fandom did it's best to try to belittle JK's work. Saying excuses such as the song was not intentional or that the editing choices were coincidental. That's not the case at all and to quote a certain song "this is no coincidence."

There is an interesting notion that some shippers and y/n's turned to fan fictions after GCFT was released. This suggests to me that they did indeed in fact feel the same way about GCFT. They got the message loud and clear, but had to try to tune it out with another fantasy because of what they felt. They wanted what Jimin and Jungkook had for themselves or another member.

GCF's after GCFT

After GCFT there was a need to show: "look Jimin and Jungkook aren't that close." Which Jikook didn't get the memo of and it shows that people were keeping an eye on them. However, this was only to be able justify their negative thoughts about the possibility of two men being together. They couldn't stand the idea and came up with every excuse possible to deny it. There were a fair amount of “don’t assume their sexuality” posts floating around.

There was also a definite shift after GCFT with Jikooker’s themselves. Of course they were supportive, but much more discreet about it. Afterwards though ,and up through to today, they got louder about Jimin and Jungkook's bond. It's clear this reflects in the fandom perception of them together as a unit or just on the timeline itself. There is almost an annoyance whenever they show up.

The newer GCF’s turned more into a competition between the members. Something which sadly continued even with the Life Goes On MV. Rather than seen as a cute maknae trip in Osaka, GCFO was used as leverage against Jikook to prove that they weren't that close. Which is bizarre in itself and it was like Jimin wasn't in the video at all.

The outrage that sparked when GCFH was released showed the true hypocrisy of the fandom. Jungkook set the tone beautifully to match the Winter Package location of Helsinki. The fact so many quickly jumped on this, but ignored his skills previously is very telling. For all those yelling about appreciating Jungkook, they only yell when it's about making themselves feel better about something. 

Rose Bowl. I don't need to introduce this. However what I found interesting is that people outside of ARMY were more accepting of what happened than actual ARMY.  It also made me question what the definition of "ot7" is,  because these accounts were going around underneath posts with "stop shipping”, “they're just bros" or my most hated one "they do stuff like this in South Korea all the time."

The last one is an absolute hate of mine and is always used by NON Koreans. ARMY are often all about Korean culture until it's something they don't want to hear or know about. A general translation account has already pointed out that Jikook are extremely close due to lack of honorifics and it moe or less got ignored. Another account will mention the same , but for another unit, and it's worshiped to high heaven. Yet Jikooker’s are delusional for being the ones to understand the cultural significance of it?

Jungkook's Birthday in 2019

I am actually going to be calling out Jikooker’s here because the reverse happened this time. Others found Jimin’s Birthday video sweet, whereas Jikooker’s were being extremely rude and disrespectful ON the timeline towards Jimin about it. Plus the usual "Jikook broke up" malarkey that pops up twice a month happened. I only recently started researching this and I’m not even sure I can make a thread on it, because there was so much fighting on the Timeline about the Birthday video.

This is what spurred me on to write my twitter post about being careful about what you post and where your priorities lie. A lot of Jikooker’s were upset before Jimin posted. Not because "he hasn't posted.”, but because "he hasn't posted [for me]." 

This is something that Jikooker’s have to wrap their heads around. We only see a tiny percentage of their daily lives. They also have each other's phone number and see each other daily. They also know each other extremely well and probably better than any of us actually will. It is not up to us what they post or what we see. Do we miss them? Of course. However, to instantly start hating them for that is wrong. You're acting just like the fandom first did when GCFT came out. These same people also acted like nothing had happened as soon as Jimin posted the photo of Jungkook later on.

Seoul Final

For those that don't remember Rose, she was a k-army translator that went to Seoul Final. In one of her live shows afterwards, she explained how other Karmy were surprised by Jikook's closeness on stage. It wasn't just us.

However ,on Naver, there was a storm brewing about Jimin treating Jungkook inappropriately and the way they were acting on stage. This was first started by Jungkook akages and then spread around to some of the fandom who decided to jump in. 

This is one example of people using K-army as a weapon. That they know *best* when they suffer the same on their side with solos etc... It's also another example of the hatred towards Jimin. 

This isn't something new. Shipping was fairly peaceful and kept its original definition of wanting two people to be together. Even if this did include two real people. It wasn't until the definition of shipping morphed into something new and possibly real, that things started to erupt in the fandom. And this eruption was sadly placed onto Jimin, as people saw him as a disruption to their fantasies. 

This defamation of both Jimin and Jungkook's character from the fandom has been present since the beginning. They are seen as liars or not intelligent. That their closeness is fake, even though you can clearly see it from the start and then develop over the years. It's something that has always been beautiful to witness whilst watching, old content and new.

These examples of fandom reactions I have used are ones all related to expectations. If Jimin and Jungkook do not act as expected or they shock the fandom, one side will react negatively. The fandom also do not seem to like seeing Jikook be so loud, so to speak. And with the emergence of more Jikooker’s on social media, this horrid view of them will no doubt increase  Though many hate the term Jikook. It signifies the unit of Jimin and Jungkook and no matter what, they will do what they want too and continue to do so. Thank you for reading and feel free to ask questions if you have any!

[shijiujun]

[END 2020] My Top 9 Danmei Novel Picks of the Year

As a part of my Round Up post for the year, here’s my pick of favourite danmei novels, that I’ve read! This is sort of an accompaniment to my previous danmei rec list over HERE, so there may be one or two overlaps, but I’ve read WAY MORE after that and am prepared to like give more options here 

Note: There should be English translations for all via novel updates if you do a search of the English name, but I don’t think most of them are completed.

If you wanna see my full reading and queue list (it’s all in Chinese tho, for my own records), it’s here.

I’m leaving out the usual MXTX and Priest ones, because they’re already good and we all know that and there’re many carrds and posts dedicated to them.

I am also a sucker for fainting but smart men, and not too overly angsty/complicated storylines, just putting it out there first, which is why I haven’t read a lot of some of the ones on my queue list.

-------

1. 一剑霜寒 | A Sword of Frost by 语笑阑珊

Summary: Jing Yan Ran is the Emperor’s brother and wields military power in the novel, and it starts with an object being stolen from the palace. Jing Yan Ran has to retrieve the item secretly, and so enlists the help of Feng Yu Sect’s Sect Master, Yun Yi Feng, who heads the martial arts world’s one and only information trading post. Yun Yi Feng does not deal in business that involves any royalty, but Jing Yan Ran offers him something he cannot refuse - the Blood Red Lingzhi, a rare and mystical herb that is rumoured to be able to treat his life-threatening condition. 

Yun Yi Feng was used by his shifu when he was younger to test out all kinds of poisons and cures, and since then, his body flushes dangerously hot and cold frequently, with bouts of severe coughing fits in between. Throughout the first mission where he spends time with Jing Yan Ran searching for the stolen object, he allows Jing Yan Ran to take care of him, and they fall in LURVE pretty much like 10 chapters in.

Of course, they have to uncover a plot and conspiracy against their enemies who are plotting to dethrone the Emperor, and also reveal the secrets of Yun Yi Feng’s birth.

My Thoughts: AN ABSOLUTE FAVE AND GEM, I’d say this is my favourite danmei novel ever. This is both hilarious and tears-inducing, to be honest, because for most of the novel YYF knows he doesn’t have long to live and so in the beginning he knows of his own feelings for JYR and JYR also shows him that he loves him, but he is unable to officially reciprocate because he knows his body is like weakening day by day. Halfway through the fear that he’s literally about to die as they are JUST about to find the cure is real, and damn I cried so much at that. Some highlights:

YYF falls asleep very easily in baths and everywhere actually, and pretty much within the first 10 chapters he gets used to JYR carrying him around (even naked from the bath, he’s like oh well, okay cool) and taking care of him, and JYR ALWAYS makes sure he is warm and toasty under his cape

YYF LOVESSSS RICHES, PLAYING THE ZITHER AND COOKING - He’s good at gathering the first one, but he FUCKING SUCKS AS THE LAST TWO - It’s so funny because he’s so beautiful and handsome right, and when he sits down at the zither everyone is like OH DAMN WHAT A DREAM- and then he plays, and everyone’s fantasies is shattered, he’s ABYSMAL at it, and the same goes for cooking

JYR doesn’t actually have the Blood Red Lingzhi, and throughout the first arc, he feels SO DAMN GUILTY because YYF even carved out a pendant that looks like what he thinks the herb looks like, and like carries it with him everywhere LMAO

Available: Novel Online and Manhua on Bilibili

2. 高能二维码 | High Energy QR Code by 青色羽翼

Summary: CEO Xing Ye’s brother Xing Shuo has just passed away at the age of 24, and nothing will make him believe that Xing Shuo died of natural causes despite autopsies and experts telling him that he really died simply of a heart failure. Xing Ye, who has impeccable memory, suddenly recalls the last time he saw Xing Shuo. His brother called out to him just before Xing Ye left for a business trip, and looked as if he had something to say, but ended up just wishing him a safe trip.

At that moment, there was a QR code on Xing Shuo’s phone, and the phone screen was strangely turned out towards Xing Ye, and Xing Ye, with his incredibly high IQ and memory, realizes that Xing Shuo wanted him to see the QR code. Quickly, he reproduces the QR code by pen and then scans it, and finds himself in a game world.

There he meets a narcissistic but also cute mirror which can speak, and finds out later that his name is Lu Ming Ze. Xing Ye’s mission is to clear the game missions in each round that is set by the black and white cubic game system, a system that continuously tempts its players into giving in to committing sins such as killing someone else, stealing and other things. He soon realizes that if he cannot stay on a path clear of these sins, he will never be able to triumph over the game system and return Lu Ming Ze back to his body in the real world. 

At the same time, he gains new teammates and friends for life, and also finds out what role his brother played in this game. 

My Thoughts: MY GOD I LOVE THIS. I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED READING THIS YESTERDAY, and honestly it’s one of my faves. I don’t like game systems very often (I’ve read three others so far, and this, and KOD are the only ones I’ve liked) but this one is *chef’s kiss*. So LMZ was born like with a really handsome face, like SUPER HANDSOME, and that’s why he’s like a harmless narcissist that cannot bear to look at ugly things LMAO, but he’s not spoilt, he makes sure that Xing Ye stays true to himself, and help him keep his head clear. 

THE ONLY THING ABOUT THIS FRICKIN NOVEL IS THAT LU MING ZE STAYS A MIRROR, LIKE DIFFERENT KINDS OF MIRRORS, in the first TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY CHAPTERS. I KID YOU NOT. I FRICKIN KID YOU NOT. I swear I was sooo touched starved at the end of the novel, because they couldn’t even kiss?!! Like Xing Ye kisses the mirror, and then uses his thumbs to like hi-five mini LMZ in the mirror back, they can’t even hug. Do you know how empty my arms felt when I read this book?!! And my arms have never been filled!!!!!!

I really like this one because each game world is set up in such a brilliant way, but it’s not so unnecessarily complex that you literally don’t know what the fuck is going on. Xing Ye’s intelligence as he outmanoeuvres every single one of his enemies and convinces his would-be loyal teammates to trust him is so satisfying, world after world, victory after victory.

Humour is also absolutely ON POINT. A lot of it is centred on Xing Ye getting caught in the real world kissing his handheld mirror (LMZ) by LMZ’s parents (who cannot see him in the mirror) and LMZ’s parents going like ???!!!!!!!! 

Available: Novel Online | Physical Novel is coming out on 10 Dec (freebies are, you guessed it, a mirror)

3. 妻为上 | The Wife is First by 绿野千鹤

Summary: This is set in a historical setting where men can marry other men, but it’s usually reserved for sons who were not borne by the official main first wife of the patriarch of the family, i.e. a son born by a concubine in a family may be forced to marry a man to keep him from being able to become the next family’s patriarch for example. This is because any family’s next leader needs to be able to have children with a wife who married in as a zheng shi (lawful wife), and not a ce shi (second wife) or any other concubines/mistresses etc. Most of these men who marry other men have to take them as their zheng shi and lawful spouse in a sense, and the same goes for the royal family.

The story starts with third prince Jing Shao, who was forced to marry Mu Han Zhang, a Marquis’ second son, by the Empress and Emperor, thereby officially and effectively cutting him out of the race for the throne. He’s mocked by the public as everyone knows what this means, and for the next 10 years, he neglects Mu Han Zhang, blaming him for his predicament, and deliberately showers his three other concubines with affection in front of him, but 10 years later, when Jing Shao is accused of treason, everyone leaves him except for Mu Han Zhang. They are chased to the edge of the cliff by soldiers, and Mu Han Zhang dies in his arms having taken an arrow meant for him earlier, and Jing Shao jumps off the cliff with his dead body, and promises that if there’s a next life, he will do everything Han Zhang says, and love him.

He wakes up immediately on the night of his marriage with Han Zhang, and realizes that he’s been given a second chance to make everything right. Han Zhang is definitely afraid of him, humiliated and angry when he first wakes up after how rough Jing Shao was with him earlier on their wedding night, and he has no memories of their past life. Jing Shao then sets to SHOWER HAN ZHANG with affection, love and basically everything, because he realized that this is the only person who stayed by his side until the end, and then he falls in love with Han Zhang properly this time, and also deals with every single person who maligned and schemed against him in his previous life, with Han Zhang by his side.

My Thoughts: OKAY BEFORE YALL GO INTO THE ‘WIFE’ terminology discourse and everything, in this case they do use the term ‘wife’ literally, and it’s a position, that while men frequently fall into (there are a lot of male ‘wives’ in this story), is also used to cut off like sons from inheriting the family and the fortune, and even titles. Male ‘wives’ aren’t looked down upon in this setting, in fact, Han Zhang gets a lot of leeway as one, and in his case he was also able to rise up the ranks to be an actual official later on, but the sad thing comes from sons who are most of the time forced to marry a male ‘wife’ for whatever reason, and then they are neglected as the son goes and find concubines, women he actually wants to sleep with - this is sad af yall. I don’t know, on one hand, yay for equality in marriage in this setting, but on the other hand like, damn, must you use same-sex marriage like that argh.

ANYWAY THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVES TOO?!!! I mean, especially when Jing Shao literally just goes into doting mode 200% and Han Zhang is totally like wtf why is he so nice to me is he scheming or something? And then he realizes that Jing Shao is really, really gentle towards him despite his reputation as a cruel, dark military commander, and Jing Shao always smiles at him. In any situation, especially in the beginning, when Han Zhang thought Jing Shao would not stand with him, Jing Shao literally just protects him no matter what, gives him everything, and cries, I love it. 

Especially because Han Zhang is the son of a concubine and he was bullied a lot in the Mu family, and the official Lady Mu married him off to Jing Shao in hopes that he would be unhappy for the rest of his life, and I suppose that came true in the first life, but in the second, Han Zhang gets all the love, respect and support he never got before in this family with Jing Shao and that makes me WEEP.

Available: Novel Online and Manhua on Kuaikan

4. 死亡万花筒 Kaleidoscope of Death by 西子绪

OOOH I intro-ed KOD here in my previous rec list. Still one of my faves and all-time re-reads, especially under the covers in the dark hehehe.

5. 你的距离 | Your Distance by 公子优 

Summary: Ting Shuang is a student at a German university, and has this handsome professor Bai Chang Yi who he swears kind of hates him. He’s just broken up with his longtime boyfriend, and then goes on this dating app that matches a profile with him based on distance. The app can also show the matched profile’s distance from him once they enter the same area, and Ting Shuang starts chatting with this Chinese guy on the app, who he finds out later, is 36 years old, 187cm in height and wears glasses. 

The guy is a little aloof and cool, very mature in his replies on the app, and somehow Bai Chang Yi finds out who he is later, as Ting Shuang starts complaining to him about his professor to Bai Chang Yi. Instead of getting angry and offended, BCY is pretty much amused and finds Ting Shuang cute. A few days later Ting Shuang finally realizes who it is he’s been texting, and after getting past the initial embarrassment and fear, they start dating for real, and they really fall in love!!!!! 

My Thoughts: This is sweet and also hilarious af, if you need to like satisfy your sweet tooth, this is definitely one for you. It’s really funny because Bai Chang Yi runs in the same circles as Ting Shuang’s dad, who he’s estranged from because the dad doesn’t want to recognize a son who is gay, and then BCY convinces him later in the funniest of ways, and there’s a small subplot at the end in which Ting Shuang is pretty cool, and yep, short and sweet! BCY in the manhua is handsome af too guys ;-;

Available: Novel Online, Audio Drama on Maoer FM and Manhua on Bilibili, 

6. 神木挠不尽 The White Cat’s Divine Scratching Post by 绿野千鹤

Summary: Mo Tian Liao, a weapons forger and master who ruled the Demon Tribe, was hunted down and killed by other righteous sects in the region when he managed to forge an incredibly destructive weapon that could end the world. Before he died, he placed the only thing he loved, a white cat, into a hole in the tree behind him to protect it. The only thing he was grateful for was that he did not create a blood pact with the cat, Xiao Mao, because if he had done so, when he died, Xiao Mao would have died along with him as well.

Right before he dies, unbeknownst to him, Xiao Mao who is no simple demonic cat, wraps part of his consciousness around Mo Tian Liao, and MTL’s spirit ends up floating about for 300 years, until he finds a suitable time to return with a body made out of a special tree and its wood. The first thing he does, of course, is to find his white cat, but he’s poor, and the body he has isn’t powerful, so he joins Wo Yun Sect, the only sect that did not hunt him down that day hundreds of years ago.

There, he is chosen by Qing Tong shizun to be his direct disciple, much to the astonishment of other shizuns in the sect, and Qing Tong’s shixiongs. MTL has never seen a person as beautiful and gorgeous as his shizun, and if only he could find that cat (who’s actually his shizun, who recognizes him and protects him, even if MTL doesn’t actually need much protection).

My Thoughts: This was hilarious as well, and so romantic?!!! Qing Tong/Xiao Mao waited for MTL to come back, and the moment he came back, Qing Tong was there ready to grab him, and then before he went to sleep that night, Qing Tong thought to himself, “I’ve gotten my person back, I can sleep well now” and AHHHHH at this point they weren’t even like a couple yet? MTL ‘kidnapped’ Qing Tong when he was a young demon cat by accident because he likes pretty things (like his shizun lmao) and Qing Tong is attached to him because MTL never forced a blood pact on him, and gave him everything he wanted as a younger cat before MTL died. Gosh, a mirror in #2 and then a cat now with this one. XD

Available: Novel Online

7. 破云 | Breaking the Clouds by 淮上

Summary: Three years ago, Captain Jiang Ting and his team of the Narcotics division perished in an explosion due to a wrong call of his, and he returns three years later under a new identity ready to deal with the people who set him and his team up. He’s caught in what seems to be a simple murder case almost immediately and meets Yan Xie, who’s Vice Captain and in charge of this case. Yan Xie realizes who Jiang Ting is shortly after, and begins to unravel the huge mystery surrounding the events of three years ago, and falls in love with Jiang Ting along the way as well.

My Thoughts: Okay out of the FOUR crime/detective/thriller danmei novels I’ve read, the poyun and tunhai (below) series is the one that MIRRORS actual narcotics division and undercovers the best. It has the complexity and depth of the drugs/narcotics world, and both this one and its sequel focuses a lot on the position of an undercover and mole. I liked this one a lot because there are SOOOO many twists especially in the last arc, like you honestly won’t see any of them coming until it hits you? And Yan Xie is such a confident, rich-ass narcissist, and he keeps asking Jiang Ting if he can “just touch” him ONCE lmao, he’s thick-skinned af, but that’s why he and Jiang Ting are so compatible ;-;.

Available: Novel Online, Novel Print, Audio Drama and Manhua on Bilibili

8. 吞海 | Swallowing the Sea by 淮上

Summary: Sequel to Po Yun. Yu Wu is a young-looking new detective under Captain Bu Chong Hua’s narcotics team. Bu Chong Hua is Yan Xie’s cousin by actual relation, but brother in relationship because BCH’s parents died early and Yan Xie’s parents have been taking care of him mostly. He cannot stand Yu Wu, who seems to want to coast through at work and keep to a 9-5 work schedule. 

It’s only after an altercation and Yu Wu dumping his nonchalant facade to snarl at BCH that he realizes that YW is actually more interesting and mysterious than he thought, and he begins to try to get close to him, understand him. It turns out that Yu Wu is a famous undercover who nearly died a year ago during an operation, and due to various reasons, he was assigned to BCH’s team by higher ups so he can peacefully live the rest of his life out there. However, his past catches up with him quickly, and his enemies turning up forces him to rely on BCH. 

With BCH, Yu Wu’s resentment of having to be an undercover in the past and being so easily discarded by his team’s leaders, and of him being forced to be in the shadows while others can announce their achievements to the world, is slowly erased, because BCH sees him, knows him, and understands him more than anyone else.

My Thoughts: I actually liked this one better than the first one - Yu Wu is such a pouty, angry little thing?! And for good reason (there’s a bit of cannibalism in the book, not by choice when he was younger and in a poor village in Cambodia, where some militants forced survivors in the village to eat the meat of boiled corpses of other villagers, so YW is a vegetarian, like if he eats meat he gets really sick) and the twists here are even more amazing?! BCH really, really, devotes himself to YW the moment he realizes how much he likes him, doing a 180 degree turn. Instead of Yan Xie’s flamboyance, BCH is much steadier, grouchy, like an old uncle, but also looks at things even more clearly than Yan Xie does sometimes. Yu Wu is understandably bitter about what he had to go through, and BCH is the ONLY person who can calm him down, whom he listens to, which I LOVE. Some highlights:

Yu Wu grew up in a poor village and thus loves money, and he fights in underground betting rings to earn more money - The stash of hidden money he collects I think is half for his escape money, but if he happens to never need it, his dream is to donate the money to his village so they can open up a school there - ANYWAY because Yan Xie’s parents, and technically BCH’s ‘parents’ are soooooo rich right, Yan Xie’s mom shows her approval to her son-in-laws (Jiang Ting first, then Yu Wu), by giving them winter pants. It’s kind of like inside warmers, and usually meant for older ladies to wear LOLOL so Yu Wu was like staring at the pants when he finally got them and looked soooo reluctant until Jiang Ting told him it costs $6,000 AND HE WAS LIKE :333333 okie

He acts a lot like a kid?!! He likes eating like some snack but it’s really unhealthy for him, and BCH the mother hen keeps catching him in weird places like the toilet, where he’s hiding from BCH so he can eat his fave snack?! And the whole police station knows not to give YW what he wants in terms of snacks and smokes because once BCH finds out, he makes life very difficult for them HAHAHAHA

9. 穿成反派如何活命 | How to Survive as A Villain by 伊依以翼

Summary: Rich and handsome CEO Xiao Yu An finds out he has a terminal illness (cancer), and dies while he’s reading this online novel, where a king mistreats the crown prince from a neighbouring state which sent him over as hostage after losing a war, and ends up being killed by the crown prince years later (SVSSS much?!). He wakes up AS THE KING, and afraid of dying, he immediately goes about befriending the prince, Yan He Qing. Yan He Qing falls in love with Xiao Yu An while being his friend/hostage/bodyguard, and Xiao Yu An tries to avoid all the deaths he read in the book, while making sure Yan He Qing manages to find his three/four wives, including Xiao Yu An’s sister.

Of course, because Xiao Yu An showed him warmth and kindness, Yan He Qing ends up falling for him instead, and Xiao Yu An is an absolute oblivious idiot because he REALLY doesn’t realize until much later. Yan He Qing ends up declaring war on Xiao Yu An’s kingdom because he is duty bound to do so, but doesn’t hurt Xiao Yu An, wanting to keep him by his side, but YHQ’s scheming uncle drives a wedge between them, and XYA leaves, breaking YHQ’s heart.

They meet again a few years later, where XYA is training to be a physician in a small village and chances upon a severely injured YHQ. There, he realizes that it was all a misunderstanding, and that YHQ actually LIKES, LIKES him, but before they can enjoy this short period of happiness, disaster strikes again.

My Thoughts: THIS WAS really enjoyable, and with the manhua visuals, it is *chef’s kiss*. I think this transmigration version actually delved into the part where XYA is unable to change everything, and if he saves one person, someone else is destined to die, and that moral dilemma devastates him a lot. In this novel he actually transmigrates TWICE, once into the king’s body, and the second time into a neighbouring state’s prince/king’s body, who looks exactly like his modern self after. YHQ is real sweet to him istg, and I like that the epilogues are SUPER EXTENSIVE, including an arc where YHQ and XYA transmigrate back to the real world and everyone who died is alive and close to them, and gets their happy ending ;-;

Available: Novel Online and Manhua on Bilibili

[thatbangtanbloom]

moonlight | kth [1]

moonlight 

characters: kim taehyung x reader (mentions of other bts x reader in future)

genre: idol!taehyung, army!reader

categories: fluff, angst, (eventual smut)

word count: 1384

The excitement that was running through her veins was undeniable. The weeks she had spent meticulously trying to write the perfect letter and find the perfect outfit had all come down to this moment: the moment that she would meet her ultimate idol, Kim Taehyung of BTS. To say she was excited was an understatement, for she was elated, nervous, and above all, complete.

YN had loved all seven of the boys deeply, but the sincerity of Taehyung’s words never failed to resonate with her. His endearing way of speaking to ARMY while teasing them to no end became a trademark she never felt wanted to forget until she grew old. She was not delusional enough to think she knew him as a person, but she did feel safe knowing that there was someone in this world who would be patient with her even when she was not patient with herself.

And here he was, sitting in front of her with a sharpie in his hand and a bright grin on his face to greet her. His cheeks turn a bit red in realization, “My english.. not native speaker.” He admits once she passes her album to him for him to sign.

“That’s okay..” she reassured him quickly as she tries to ignore the pain she feels from her knees. She leans her chin on her arms as she watches him sign her album. She had wanted nothing more than to remember every detail about him. The mole on his lip, the one on the top of his nose, how he had a mono lid on one eye and a double eyelid on the other. “I’m YN.”

“YN.. your name is pretty. Where are you from?” He asks while taking the initiative. It is rare for him to feel flushed, but she looked like a sweet dongsaeng. “America?”

“네.. _____ 왔어요.. (Yes, I come from..)” she answers and he only smiles gently at her in response. “I studied Korean so we can speak to one another.”

Taehyung quickly reads her question about ‘Taelephant’ and smiles. He could tell that she was younger than him and he felt a sense of protectiveness. Had she traveled to Korea alone? He hadn’t to seen her talking with many other girls, for it was hard for him to not notice her with her bright smile and slightly high pitched voice. She had caught his gaze, but for the sake of the fan sites that recorded him fan sign after fan sign, he had to hold back. “How long have you liked us?”

“I officially began to follow you guys during Fire.. I started liking during Run.” YN says, already aware of the limited time that the two of them had together. “Taehyung-ssi.. I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you and that you got me through a lot while I was in high school. I felt alone and isolated for many times, until I saw how carefree and thoughtful you were in your actions. You became a role model for me.” She’s rambling, but she feels complete with the way that Taehyung nods intently at her words as though he understands; he does. “I’m sorry for talking so fast… I wrote this letter to you too.. I translated it,” She admits with a blush on her cheeks as she passes him the small bag. She had opted for a letter, a plushie of Nick from Zootopia (Taehyung had mentioned his love for Nick in a livestream once), and a tangerine shaped miniature pillow. “I hope you enjoy the gifts.”

Taehyung smiles down at her despite not understanding all of her words. He wants to reassure her that he would always be there to support her, as she was an ARMY and he could never see ARMY doing anything to hurt him. Yet, he is unable to express it so he does the next best thing: his fingers entwine with her own and he strokes the back of her hand. “Thank you… It’s..” He pauses as he tries to think and smiles fondly, “Okay.”

“Okay,” She whispers back as she gets lost in his eyes. Her heart is stopping from how he leans closer to her to tuck the butterfly hair piece into her hair and smiles at the shy reaction. She could already feel her heart thudding in her ears from the close proximity. Did he have to play with her heart so easily?

Taehyung only continues to stare into her eyes without words. He does not mind how the other members will likely tease him for his ‘weird actions’, but if it made her feel a bit more safe, he was willing to do so. For one, Taehyung could not find himself looking away from her big brown eyes. They were warm and inviting despite the first glance being cold and chic. He thinks she is beautiful in the filial way that he had always admired and bites down on his bottom lip. “You’re beautiful.” He whispers quietly.

“Time’s up,” The manager cuts the tension like a knife while fixing her large framed glasses. She knew how the fan service the boys gave was a lot from time to time, but that did not mean that she could not be mindful of the fantasies that ran through the girls’ mind. The seven men were still idols and the girls were still their supporters at the end of the day. That boundary was not to be crossed under any circumstance.

Taehyung only ignores the manager as he rubs the back of her hand affectionately and smiles, “Please enjoy your visit to Korea…” He says, not wanting to leave on a rushed note. He always took precaution to give every ARMY the attention they deserved without reservation. He knew that they were his everything and that no one would make him give them any less than they deserved when he was living his dream with their support.

“I will.. thank you.. I love you, Taehyung,” She whispers with a shy blush to raise from her knees. She could sense the manager sending daggers at her for not following the protocol of the fan sign.

Taehyung watches her go with a smile and lets go, “Saranghaeyo,” He whispers after letting go of her hand.

YN thought that would be the end of their story as she walked back to her seat and sat down beside her best friend, Jamie, who was speaking animatedly about Jimin and the way that his hand fit perfectly in hers. Her heart was still rattling in her ears after hearing her idol tell her that he loved her in his native tongue. It felt like an out of body experience: she knew he did not love her in the way that she loved him. She was a mere fan, but the thought of it conjured butterflies in her stomach for the rest of the day.

She knew that fantasy would never become reality; this much, she was certain of.The rest of her day drifted on like a dream as she remembers his gentle eyes staring back int hers and the light pressure he rubbed onto the back of her palm to ease her nerves. His tone had been light and inviting, just as it always did. It almost felt like a welcome home hug with hot chocolate waiting after a long day at work with a cold commute home. Was this set to be the pinnacle of her fan girl lifestyle?

And for two months, it was. The monotonous days had begun to drag on like a mirage between reading, writing, and studying for her subjects in school to attend a top university. Learning Korean was where the bulk of her time was spent as she spent the remainder of her time in NSLI-Y Korea visiting the places that the flourishing group had made popular and the new friends that accompanied her. She felt as though she were rediscovering new versions of herself before the outset of her second year in university. Yet, the last thing she would have anticipated was a message from him months after the meeting.

+82 ***-****

I read your letter and I wanted to talk more.

And that was how their love story began.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please let me know what you thought of this! 

[trellwords]

fic scrap, douxie & merlin, 2200 words; cw: background homophobia

How utterly stupid he’d been, thinks Douxie as he meets Merlin’s eyes over Guerdred’s shoulder, to assume that Merlin wouldn’t be back before late.

In which Douxie gets caught with a boy.

———

Two years into his stay at Camelot, Douxie meets a boy.

The boy is one of Lancelot’s squires—Guerdred, tall, dark, and handsome—and Douxie is stupid, stupid when Guerdred talks to him, stupid when Guerdred looks at him, stupid in the songs he starts writing just for Guerdred to hear. (He doesn’t tell that to Guerdred, of course.) Archie notices and asks, “What’s the matter with you?” but Douxie just shakes his head and says he doesn’t know, because he doesn’t; he’s never felt like this before. Never gotten tongue-tied at someone’s smile, never spent hours distracted by the thought of the next time they’ll meet, never had dreams about someone that make him blush just to remember, for no reason he can readily name.

He’d like to blame it on magic, but he’s felt magic, and magic isn’t like this. (Music is, sometimes; when he’s alone with it in his head, when there’s nothing between him and the strings—those times feel a great deal like this. Like he’s soaring, weightless and glowing, racing ahead of himself.)

He finds it in himself to be even more stupid when he and Guerdred spend an evening up on the battlement trading a bottle of wine, meandering through hours of conversation. Guerdred watches the sun sink against the water, but all Douxie remembers from that evening is Guerdred: Guerdred bathed all over in gold, Guerdred’s lips around the mouth of the bottle, Guerdred’s hand mere inches away from his own. If someone were to ask him what time of day it’d been Douxie would have to deduce the answer from circumstance, because surely he didn’t look away from the other boy once.

When he gets back to his room that night he puts Archie firmly out in the hall, and jerks himself off with shaking hands, his back against the door. He tries not to think about what he’s doing, but all that does is make him think about Guerdred: Guerdred’s lips, Guerdred’s hands, Guerdred doing this to him instead of himself . . . Douxie comes hard enough that it leaves him weak in the knees, and afterward feels dirty and disgusted and really unspeakably good.

It’s a little hard to face Guerdred again after that.

Even if Douxie tells himself it must’ve been the wine, or something in the air, or any number of other excuses he invents for himself, he can’t quite escape having had that particular fantasy. He knows now why Guerdred makes him feel giddy and flustered and high, and it’s surely because there’s something wrong with him, because he shouldn’t feel this way about a boy.

But then, there’s always been something wrong with him. Douxie has magic in his veins and music in his head, and maybe wanting a boy in the way he’s supposed to want girls is just part of whatever went wrong in him at the start. He thinks he could live with that; it’s much the same with his magic, after all. Magic is difficult, and he can’t even reach it without his bracelet, and still every time he casts a spell all the suffering is worth it, because there’s nothing in the world that feels the same. If he only feels this way about boys he’ll take it, and it’s only what Guerdred might think that makes him worried. Guerdred already has reason enough to deride him (not that he does); Guerdred is training to be a knight, and Douxie is trying to become a wizard, and what would Guerdred think if he found out about this?

He tries to watch what he says and does around Guerdred, after that, to not be so terribly obvious now that he knows what he knows. He’s not very good at it. Try as he might Guerdred still brings out the fool in him, makes him laugh and blush and want to write more songs, determined to translate Guerdred into sound. The chiming ditty that came to him the other night, that’s Guerdred’s smile; the slower plucked melody, that’s the way Douxie feels when Guerdred declines joining the rest of the squires for a night on the town in favor of drinking alone with him, as if Douxie’s company is worth all of theirs. How can Douxie hide how he feels, when it keeps escaping out through his lute?

And then—four months into their knowing each other—Guerdred drags Douxie behind the stables, and kisses him.

Douxie is so startled he actually drops his lute, and has to break away from the kiss (the kiss, Guerdred’s kiss, kissing him!) to make sure the instrument isn’t damaged. “Sorry,” he gasps, “sorry, I really do want to, I just need to make sure it’s all right—” and Guerdred laughs and promises to make him forget the lute, nearly causing Douxie to drop it again.

The instrument is fine, and Douxie has his first time right there behind the stables, lute set aside and arms wound around Guerdred’s neck. He’s so nervous and excited he’s trembling, and when Guerdred jerks them off together Douxie buries his face against Guerdred’s shoulder and comes embarrassingly fast, unable to hide how Guerdred affects him.

It’s amazing, and after that he’s so caught up in the rush—in the discovery that Guerdred feels about Douxie the way Douxie feels about him; that he wants Douxie in the same way, even though he’s a boy—that Douxie doesn’t do much thinking at all. Every time he has a free evening he sneaks down to the squires’ barracks or the stables or wherever Guerdred might be that day, and Guerdred returns the favor, wandering past Merlin’s workshop and sneaking inside if a cursory glance confirms that Merlin is out. Now that the line has been crossed they can’t keep their hands off each other, and Douxie spends his days in a rosy haze, drifting dreamily between stolen kisses.

Archie knows, of course. That much is inevitable, even given that Douxie sends him away when he goes to see Guerdred, and Archie clears out if Guerdred arrives himself. But Archie is Douxie’s familiar, not to mention a cat; whatever else might happen, Douxie knows that he can trust Archie with his life, with any and all of his secrets. Archie won’t give him away, won’t think less of him for what Douxie and Guerdred are doing—even if he does make sardonic comments about how much more often Douxie drops things when Guerdred is around.

Merlin, though—

Maybe being around Guerdred makes Douxie stupid, but he still knows better than to let Merlin find out about them. He can’t let any other human in Camelot know, and however much he may trust Merlin in everything else the thought of what the wizard might do if he finds out about this scares Douxie witless. Probably Merlin wouldn’t send him to the executioner—Douxie would like to believe that much—but he’d surely throw him back out in the street, refuse to teach him a minute longer.

Douxie doesn’t want to lose his shot at becoming a wizard for anything, not even Guerdred.

So he does try to be careful; sends Guerdred away if he ever comes by when Merlin is near, and never lingers with him at the workshop, stealing away elsewhere for their intimate sojourns. It works, for a while.

But, well.

Guerdred does make him stupid.

Thus it comes to pass that when Guerdred comes around one summer night when Merlin is out conferring with Arthur Douxie decides to take the risk, and lets Guerdred inside the workshop. Merlin and Arthur will likely be busy for hours yet, and Merlin will doubtless go back to his quarters after; the chances that he’ll come back here tonight are slim. Douxie has work yet to do—putting away newly-arrived jars of herbs in the stores—and so for a while Guerdred merely sits on a nearby crate and talks to him, watching Douxie work. (Watching Douxie, and Douxie likes that, too: likes the way Guerdred looks at him, the places where Guerdred’s eyes linger, the way it makes him feel altogether different from the awkward lanky mess he knows himself to be.)

He finishes his task quickly, and Guerdred stops hanging back. He gets into Douxie’s space, and Douxie slings his arms across Guerdred’s shoulders and laughs as Guerdred walks him back against the wall, tilting his head to let Guerdred kiss at his neck.

And if Douxie were thinking at all—if he were capable of thinking, with Guerdred’s hands on him—he would have stopped them there, and escaped with Guerdred to somewhere truly secluded. But in the gathering dusk the storeroom feels perfectly safe and out-of-the-way, miles distant from the bustling courtyards, the well-lit workshop; no one comes down here besides Douxie and Morgana and Merlin, and Merlin’s busy with Arthur and Morgana is out of Camelot altogether, away on a trip to Rheged. Tonight, this place is surely for Douxie and Guerdred alone.

He’s cured of that illusion by the creak of the storeroom door.

Its terrible sound cuts through the warm haze of Guerdred’s kisses, making Douxie freeze. Guerdred’s right hand is under his shirt, his left working open the third button at Douxie’s collar, and there is—Douxie realizes in the awful, crystal-clear moment before the door swings open—no way to pretend they’ve been doing anything else.

How utterly stupid he’d been, thinks Douxie as he meets Merlin’s eyes over Guerdred’s shoulder, to assume that Merlin wouldn’t be back before late.

The weight of the door makes it bang against the wall. Guerdred jolts back from Douxie like he’s been burned, eyes going round; Douxie stays frozen in place, unable to move or think or breathe. His back is pressed against the stone wall behind him, his half-undone shirt hanging askew, and Merlin is just as frozen as he is, staring at them from where he’s towering in the doorway.

Douxie is done for. He knows it, and somewhere far away the part of him that’s still capable of cogent thought is screaming hysterically that he’s thrown away everything, just for this, all because he can’t control himself around Guerdred.

Guerdred, the only one among them who seems to have retained the capacity for speech, stammers, “I—we—we weren’t—” He puts his hands up, then sharply drops them, as though where he puts his hands now might change the fact that he’d had them all over Douxie.

Merlin looks at Guerdred, and says, “Get out.”

Guerdred doesn’t have to be told twice. He throws a glance back towards Douxie, which Douxie avoids, and bolts for the door. Merlin steps aside to let him through; Guerdred sidles past in a rush, plainly trying to keep the maximum possible distance between himself and the master wizard. Douxie and Merlin are left alone in the room, Douxie motionless against the wall, Merlin still at the entrance.

Out in the workshop the outer door slams, and that’s when Merlin turns on him. “You idiot boy,” he hisses, and the furor in his voice makes Douxie shrink back against the wall. “What if it had been anyone other than me?”

Which—isn’t the tack that Douxie’s expecting. “What?” he croaks, in a very small voice.

Merlin barrels on. “Are you trying to get yourself killed? Had I suspected you were so eager to have your head separated from your shoulders, I would have let Galahad do it back then, and saved us both the trouble!” His staff bangs against the floor, furious emphasis. “Damn it, boy, there are some kinds of stupid you don’t have to be!”

“I—” Douxie struggles to scrounge up anything more complex than monosyllables, barely able to process what Merlin is saying. He’s not at all sure that he’s heard correctly. “Sir, I don’t . . .”

“I don’t give a whit as to what, or whom, you do in your spare time,” says Merlin bluntly, and Douxie is overcome by a wave of embarrassment so hot that for a moment it drowns out even the cold tide of his fear, a flush racing up his neck into his face. “But I expect you to have the good sense not to get caught, never mind getting caught here! Have you any idea of the danger you’re putting all of us in? Of the repercussions on wizardry, if you’re found to be doing what you’ve been doing while you are my apprentice, and in this very tower?”

The words are like being doused with ice water. Fear regains the upper hand, and Douxie gets out, “No—no, sir,” stricken. “I’m sorry, Master, I wasn’t—I didn’t—” He can’t seem to catch his breath, squeezed into a vise between terror and humiliation.

“Didn’t think? Yes, I can tell that much.” Merlin is savagely acerbic. His gaze flicks down to Douxie’s collar, and Douxie is suddenly, excruciatingly aware of the bruises that Guerdred has left there, no doubt already turning dark. (He wishes his hands would stop shaking, so that he could do up the buttons. He wishes he could melt through the floor.) “Next time you decide to risk everything for a halfwit with a sword, perhaps you’ll do more of that.”

[...]

[zeldasayer]

I transcribed and translated Pedro’s interview from GQ Germany for all of us. I tried translating as good as possible but bear with me, English is not my mother tongue. By @sixties-loser

Pedro Pascal, the star from “Game of Thrones”, “Wonder Woman” and “The Mandalorian” talks about becoming an adult, film, fashion, corona – and a painful surgery in the exclusive GQ interview.

It seems almost eerie how empty the streets of LA are in the sunshine. Meanwhile a new normality seems to be coming to Europe, most people in L.A. are still cutting their own hair. Many have not seen their friends for half a year. The pandemic is out of control. The reaction towards it too. Inviting someone into their garden for a “distance drink” can cause the same distress as suggesting to switch spouses.

Therefore, it was particularly surprising that Pedro Pascal immediately accepted. He accepted the drink, not to switch spouses. He is one of the rising stars and newcomers this year – if it wasn’t for corona sending the whole film industry into a forced vacation, there would most likely not have been time for said drink. After having his skull crushed in “Game of Thrones” followed the lead role as a DEA agent hunting Pablo Escobar in “Narcos” in 2015 and now he is stepping towards big Hollywood films. From the 1st of October onwards the Chilean-born actor will be starring in the blockbuster “Wonder Woman 1984”. Moreover, the second season of the “Star Wars”-series “The Mandalorian” on Disney+ starring him as the lead is going to air in October this year – but he will be underneath a helmet. Well, we all are under a helmet in 2020 in one way or another. We want to meet the man who a few years ago still worked as a waiter in New York, whose parents were political refugees who found asylum in Denmark and settled in Texas and whose son one day signed up for a theatre group in High School.

Then, the cancellation! While we were in the middle of fixing up the house and the garden for the drink with Pedro and organizing the fashion shoot, which was not easy considering the safety measures in L.A., his management called with an unfortunate message: Pedro – no, not sick with corona – had to get emergency surgery because of a damaged tooth and was lying in bed with a swollen face that was hindering him from speaking and taking pictures. The sun is shining onto empty streets. And our empty garden.

A few days later he nonetheless arrived at our front door without a swollen face but still with threads in his mouth. He was not chauffeured by a limo-service but he came with his own car – he even picked up his make-up artist. He is helping her carrying all of her utensils into the house and declares: “I’ve got time today!”. What a celebrity! It seemed like we did not want to ask him how he made it to the A-List of Hollywood but he wanted to ask us how we made it to the A-list. Pedro Pascal! Yes, what kind of a celebrity?

Pedro Pascal: Sorry for messing with your plans. The surgery was an emergency.

GQ: Really? We were wondering whether the swelling wasn’t the product of a secret visit to the plastic-surgeon. Apparently, they are drowning in work because of the quarantine in Hollywood.

PP: I have to disappoint you. A few days before our appointment I was rushing to the hospital with a fractured tooth and the worst pain in my entire life – a hospital in which treats people with severe cases of corona. I was unable to reach any dentist! Right in front of the parking lot a specialist called me back. The pain was hell despite the ten injections I got. The doctor said I was not an exception because a lot of people are grinding their teeth because of all the stress.

GQ: What are you most afraid of at the moment?

PP: How the government is handling the pandemic is worrying me more than the virus itself. This shortage of intelligent management of the crisis is a moral shame. The leadership crisis in this country is turning us all into orphans – destitute and abandoned.

GQ: How did you spend your time over the last few months?

PP: I spent it with frozen pizza and sweatpants in Venice Beach. I live in a rear house that’s in a family’s garden. Actually, there are a lot of good takeout places nearby but for some reason I just love pepperoni pizza from the supermarket.

GQ: That does not really sound like movie star-lifestyle. What does it feel like being suddenly stopped from top speed to zero?

PP: Regarding what is going on around the world one should hold back one’s own mental turmoil. I would be lying if I was saying that I am not disappointed. The whole team put a lot of heart and work into the production of “Wonder Woman 1984”. We had a lot of fun on set. I wished to travel around the world and introduce the film with the same lively energy.

GQ: You come from a politically engaged, socialist family that fled from the Pinochet-regime in Chile. What do you remember from that time?

PP: My sister and I were born in Chile but I was only nine months old when we first found asylum in Denmark. From there we quickly came to San Antonio in Texas where my dad started working as a doctor at the university clinic.

GQ: Texas is not known as a socialist utopia. How did you assimilate?

PP: San Antonio is not a Cowboy-town but very diverse with big Asian, black and Latino communities. I remember it as a romantic place, culturally open. The culture shock only came as we later moved to range county in California. There the atmosphere was suddenly white, preppy and conservative.

GQ: How were you received in California?

PP: I’m still ashamed of the fact that I did not correct my classmates when they kept on calling me Peter. I am Pedro. Even if I didn’t grow up in Chile the country and the language are still a part of me. I was very unhappy in that environment. However, I was fortunately able to go to another school close to Long Beach where I felt more comfortable. Through the theater group at that school I found my way.

GQ: Were you able to visit Chile as a child?

PP: Yes, when my parents made it to the list of expatriates that were able to travel to Chile without consequences. First, there was a big family reunion and then my sister and I stayed there for a few months with relatives while my parents went back to Texas. They likely needed a break from us. They got us when they were very young, had a buzzing social life and my mother was obtaining a PhD in psychology.

GQ: Was your mother a typical young psychologist who wanted to apply her theoretical knowledge at home?

PP: You mean, whether I was her guinea pig? For sure! I remember strange tests and sittings that were disguised as games where someone was watching me react to different toys. I cannot have been older than six but I was already aware of the dynamic. My favourite thing was being questioned about my dreams. That was a wonderful opportunity to come up with fantastic stories.

GQ: Was that your first performance?

PP: Of course! My mother worried about my strong imagination because I was living in my own fantasy world rather than reality. I hated going to school. I was always categorized as the troublemaker. At one point, the topics at school became more interesting and my grades also went up. There are so many kids that are unnecessarily diagnosed with learning disabilities without considering that school can be abhorrent. Why is it so accepted to be bored in class when there are so many stimulating ways to convey knowledge?

GQ: Considering al that has happened this summer around the world: Do you believe that we can seriously demand social change now?

PP: I Hope so. After lockdown, the first time I went out was to protest for “Black Lives Matter” on the streets. The energy was peaceful and hopeful until the police provoked severe conflicts. Nevertheless, we cannot run from problems like we used to this time and we cannot distract ourselves from them either. It seems like the pressure of the pandemic led to a new clarity: We cannot go on this way.

GQ: The “Wonder Woman 1984” Trailer revives the optimism of the 1980’s. From today’s point of view, it seems almost nostalgic.

PP: That’s right. You really are happy for two hours. The director Patty Jenkins created a film full of positive messages. We shot in Washington D.C., then in London and Spain – this sounds like I am talking of a past time.

GQ: Do you miss traveling?

PP: I’m just now realizing the privilege of just packing up one’s stuff and being able to fly anywhere. An American passport used to guarantee unlimited travel. And that’s why it the small radius of our lives is actually unimaginable. Over the last years I often retreated for a break after shootings because I was constantly on the move and overstimulated. My friends were already complaining I had become too comfortable. We all took social contact for granted and are only realizing now how dependent we actually are on human contact. Over the last weeks I often longingly thought about all the parties and dinner invitations I declined.

GQ: In L.A. people spend more time at home or nature than in other metropolises that are more geared towards public life. Could this city become your second home after New York?

PP: My Real Home are my friends. I have been a nomad since I was little and I do not have a place where I have put down roots. Up until not long ago my physical home was a place in between departure and arrival. Therefore, it was something I did not want to complicate through the accumulation of stuff. On the contrary: Without having read Marie Kondo’s book I have freed myself from excess baggage over the last few years and I lived relatively minimally.

GQ: Is there nothing you collect or something you just can’t throw away?

PP: Books! I even still have the literature I read when I was a teenager and when I was in college. Recently, I stumbled upon a box full of old theatre manuscripts and materials from my time at the New York University. I also cannot part from art easily, just like I cannot part from lamps or old photos. On the other hand, I can easily get rid of furniture and clothes.

GQ: Do you remember roles that were really only completely defined through the costume?

PP: Yes, I am particularly thinking about “Game of Thrones”. At that time I understood for the first time what it meant to be supported by a look. This is thanks to the costume designer Michele Clapton. She created very feminine robes and brocade coats for my character that nevertheless looked masculine when worn and I felt very sexy in them. Of course, Lindy Hemmings power-suits and Jan Swells bleached hairstyle for the tycoon-villain in “Wonder Woman 1984” were very important as well. At first I did not really see myself in the role because the cuts and colors of the 80s do not really fit my body. I’m more the 70s type.

GQ: Do you incorporate those inspirations into your personal wardrobe?

PP: In my free time I choose comfort over a cool look these days. Sometimes I miss the times when I expressed myself through a certain style. It is hard to imagine that I went to Raves as a teenage in the 90s; I was a real club kid with ridiculous outfits: overalls, balloon pants, football shirts and a top hat, like in Dr.Seuss’s “Cat in a Hat”. Later in New York I was hanging out with a group of people that felt it was very important to have a certain style. The fact that I am basically only wearing sweatpants everyday is actually tragic.

GQ: whoever plays roles in comic book adaptations becomes a bodybuilder and eats ten chicken breasts a day. You don’t?

PP:My body would not agree with that. It is hard enough to stay in shape normally. When you’re in your mid-forties you have to live with a lot more discipline. Up until before my tooth-incident I worked out with a trainer in my garden multiple times a week to keep the quarantine body in check.

GQ: Apart from the personal trainer, are you in a steady relationship?

PP: I am not ready for that yet. Maybe at some point I will be but until then I’ll let it be. I can’t even offer you absurd corona dating stories.

GQ: What would annoy you the most if you were your own roommate?

PP: I can be quite controlling. I have to conjure all my humanity to prevent myself from going through my entire film collection. When I don’t want something I cannot keep it to myself or be passive-aggressive, I always have to take it to the frontlines. Other than that, I tend to have tunnel view: when I am not feeling well I cannot imagine to ever feel better again. I have trouble relativizing my emotions or to wave off problems. Method-acting would really not be for me. This is why I try to only work on projects that feel good, where there is mutual support and encouragement.

GQ: When we were trying on the clothes earlier you spoke of a lack of self-confidence. How does that get along with a career like yours?

PP: Isn’t it interesting how these characteristics and circumstamces relate? Self-worth comes from inside but it is also influenced by what society values because we often internalise the public gaze. I have lived in New York for 20 years, I studied there and made a living by working as a waiter until my mid-thirties because the theatre and film jobs I got did not pay the bills. There were so many times I was almost there. The disappointment of having missed the perfect role or opportunity by a hair’s width can be crushing. When should you give up and what is plan B? That is a question that is not only on many actors‘s minds but also on many others minds who struggle for a living – no matter how much potential they have or how close they seem to be to the top. We are seeing now how our narrow definition of success destroys society. At the same time, we are realizing that where we come from and the color of our skin still decide whether we can exist with dignity.

GQ: What are the positive aspects of a relatively late success as leading-man?

PP: I feel like I can decide over my own life without the pressure of having to accept projects or to have to present a certain identity on social media. This is for sure also because I am a man. Regardless of age, Women have to try harder to stand out.

GQ: Life always consists of risk management – now more than usual. For what would you risk losing something?

PP: Generally, when you never risk something you might never get ahead. That is for friendship, love, work and creativity. I have to be ready to take risks for the things that really matter to you.

[spockandawe]

What are your favorite chinese webnovels? What are some of the differences youve noticed between cnovels and other types of novels?

That second question is really, REALLY interesting, and I really want to answer it well, and I am REALLY sure I’m going to do a bad job of answering it, so let me just noodle about that first question for a minute while I try to think XD

I went through some of my TOP-top favorite novels in more detail yesterday, but generally speaking, mxtx and meatbun are both at the top of the pack. They’re really good at writing compelling main characters and balancing piles of angst with plenty of humor and pulling everything together into a very satisfying ending (which is something I don’t alwaysssss see, even in some of the novels I really like). After them, The Disabled Tyrant’s Pet Palm Fish (transmigration, ancient chinese prince falls in love with pet fish) and Golden Stage (ancient chinese gay arranged marriage between bitter enemies(?)) are two novels that I love a lot, which both have very cute romances and go a bit lighter on the main character suffering front, and which I broadly recommend to anyone who’s interested in the genre. They didn’t end stick the landing QUITE as hard as an svsss or tgcf, but they still were very nice.

Then, let me see. I’m trying to remember which books I’ve read in the last year, and am doing a terrible job, haha. I will say that a book I enjoyed for like... eighty percent of it and then the ending let me down terribly was The Dreamer In The Spring Boudoir (modern day career woman transmigrates into barely-fantasy ancient china novel as the disliked primary wife of a nobleman), which is also the only straight webnovel I’ve read so far. The main character and romance were delightful, but that ending... haha, wow, I felt betrayed. But I did like the first half very much!! I’m idly contemplating a deliberately-partial reread. Then I’m currently like two chapters away from catching up with the current translation of The Wife Is First (ancient chinese prince lives out time travel fixit fic, determined to treat his spouse better this time around). I’m also catching up on Heroic Death System (transmigration, across MANY universes, where the goal is to die heroically in each one, and also maybeeeee to find his boyfriend in each one. this shit gets fucking bananas. in one of them, he emotionally seduces his boyfriend while he’s a dolphin. in another one, he’s a sentient mushroom. i’m in the middle of a section titled ‘I Am An Evil Pen’. yes, like a writing utensil type of pen. this is the weirdest book I’ve read so far). Oh, and Thousand Autumns (righteous sect leader gets sabotaged and loses a fight, wakes up blind and amnesiac, demonic sect leader is like ‘lol i bet i can turn him evil’ and accidentally catches feelings along the way).

What else... I’m keeping up with (but behind on) some others. First, there’s How To Survive As A Villain (modern terminally ill CEO transmigrates into stallion novel, wakes up as villain, accidentally seduces hero). Then, we’ve got Transmigrating Into The Body Of The Heartthrob’s Cannon Fodder Childhood Friend (only modern webnovel I’ve read, young man transmigrates into beginning of gratuitous whump book, back in high school, and is determined to protect the protagonist from all the canonical suffering). Then there’s Pulling Together A Villain Reformation Strategy (guy transmigrates into story as the hero’s childhood friend who will eventually become his enemy and get killed, successfully acts out his part and dies, completely fails to realize he’s broken his friend’s heart in the process... and then wakes up in another character’s body). And then there’s The Villain’s White Lotus Halo (a transmigrator keeps bouncing from universe to universe as a cannon fodder villain, who gets like half a line before being killed. he tries to purchase an upgrade package so he can be a COOL villain instead, but accidentally gets sold a ‘white lotus halo’ package instead, so that no matter what he does, everyone is just DEEPLY moved by his appearance and is positive he did nothing wrong). All of those are EXTREMELY delightful. You may notice a running transmigration theme, which....... yeah, I think there are a TON of delightful stories in the webnovel scene that deal with this genre, which seem so rare in English language media.

Which makes a good transition point to what’s different about the cnovel scene! I’ve seen hardly any transmigration stories in English, and I’ve got a couple go-to examples for when I’m trying to explain it, but like. Only a couple. Which is such a shame! Like, there’s the default idea of ‘I was reading this book and then I woke up inside the book!!’ but it’s clearly such an established genre that people are playing with it in all kinds of interesting ways, like in The Villain’s White Lotus Halo or Heroic Death System setups. It’s kind of wild to me, because it seems like such a gimme for a nice easy story structure? Whatever kind of world you want to present, there’s no need to introduce it to the reader from the ground up, or find a good way to hook them in. Either the main character read the book in question and can explain the premise and why we should care in pov, or the main character is new to the universe too, and trying to find their own footing. I enjoy it a lot! I’ve sampled transmigration books that didn’t grab me, but I’ve sampled way more that did. 

And then, the one semi-technical answer I thought of to this question was the way that these novels tend to handle pov. It’s not a hard-and-fast rule that regular novels are restricted to one pov, or that pov can only change at hard breaks in the story, but if I saw a bog-standard american novel glide from pov to pov the way these novels regularly do, I would tend to wonder if it was sloppiness or a mistake, or I would grump to myself about how I don’t like omniscient third person pov. And I still don’t know exactly what I think about this, or why it’s different in here, but I’m pretty sure I like it a lot, especially for stories where the romance tends to play a large part :V 

I used to read a lot of Books About Writing, and read plenty of stuff about why you don’t DO this, but.... I like it! In dtppf, Jing-wang can’t talk, and when Li Yu is a fish, he can’t talk, and drifting from one of their perspectives to the other gives me lots of useful information about how they’re both feeling. Could that be conveyed through restricted pov? Maybe! But I’m typesetting the svsss extras right now, and I’m in the bing-ge vs bing-mei section, and we get a few brief flashes of bing-ge’s thoughts, and it’s so NICE. It’s information I would not have otherwise received, because Shen Qingqiu sure wasn’t going to notice it. But early in the story, that pov was withheld from me, which also made sense (or hua cheng’s pov was withheld from me FOREVER, which makes me so sad ;u;). There don’t seem to be any hard and fast rules, which makes me really nervous about writing fic and trying to match the style, but I do like it a lot! 

And I’m definitely not able to articulate this in the way that I would like to, or speak with any real authority (I’m not that widely read in the cnovel scene, and i’m not very genre-adventurous in english), but there’s something about the role that the romances play in these stories that’s different from what I’m used to expecting, and it’s VERY tasty to me. I only rarely read romance novels, because I’m not often interested in the romance as a primary plot driver, but the romances in these books play a more substantial role than I’m used to expecting. And I’m into it! It’s a balance closer to what I’d expect from, like, a shippy longform fanfic. Which covers a lot of ground and is NOT a precise measure, but there’s more emotional weight given to the romance than I would expect, but without the romance carrying ALL of the emotional weight, and it strikes a perfect balance for me in a way I’m not used to encountering. Now, some of this could definitely be due to me not finding the right authors, or right subgenres, or whatever. But in the genres I inhabit, it’s a subtle difference, but one I find compelling.

Oh, one last thing. The cultural differences, duh :P I’m only familiar with things like, say, ancient chinese court etiquette through a lens of fan-translated novels like these, and I didn’t grow up steeped in the culture in a way I’m used to the trappings of something like medieval european courts. But there’s a distinct flavor to the social dynamics of these novels, from the formal levels down to the casual, and I know it’s super intricate and detailed and that authors play with differing degrees of historical accuracy vs fictional fun, and I wish I was better equipped to speak to the nature of any of this. But I find it really compelling! I recognize that it’s only new to ME because I didn’t seek out chinese media before now. And, the point that I originally wanted to get to before I got super distracted: the flirting. The flirting and teasing are a very different flavor from what I would expect in most english language media, and I love it, even if I can’t speak to how much of that is purely cultural, and how much of it is like... the conventions of How Fiction Is Written varying by culture, if that makes sense. I adore seeing what flirting and affection and indulgence and attentiveness look like in different settings, and these books, with their heavy romantic focus, absolutely deliver.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

How do you film the end of the world?

With the sheer volume and variety of VFX required for Good Omens - 650 VFX sequences - the key was to be in constant conversation with co-author of Good Omens and showrunner Neil Gaiman and director Douglas Mackinnon throughout the entire process, both in pre and post-production as well as during the shoot.

Thankfully they were happy to be readily available to us throughout so we could always ask them questions and keep the team moving forward. We had constant access to Neil, which was wonderful! He would often quote from the book to advise us creatively as we planned and developed the VFX to help bring their vision to life on screen. It also meant we were able to show him concept designs the team were developing in the studio, such as Satan and the wings for Crowley and Aziraphale, whilst our VFX Supervisor Jean Claude Deguara was on set with him in South Africa.

The planning and development time in pre-production was essential. During this time we broke down all six scripts with Douglas Mackinnon to plan the methodology for the VFX; working out and refining how to best use VFX to support the storytelling. It was a very collaborative process - often we would work with him to decipher and work out how to translate Neil’s vision in words to life on screen and what was workable.

We created everything from creatures (Satan exploding up out of the ground; a Kraken; a Hellhound; a demon and a snake) to environments (Heaven – a penthouse with views of major world landmarks, a busy Soho street); feathered wings for Michal Sheen’s angel Aziraphale and David Tennant’s demon Crowley and a CG Bentley, in which Tennant’s Crowley hurtles around London. We also had a large effects team working on a whole range of effects over the six episodes - from setting the M25 and the Bentley on fire; a flaming sword; a call centre filled with maggots to a sequence in which Crowley travels through the internet at high speed!

Everything needed to have its own unique look and feel but as the story moves swiftly from one scene to the next in the build up to the apocalypse, we couldn’t dwell on any one effect for too long. We’d have a scene with a major effect but it wouldn’t be repeated again so we had one chance to make sure the character or effect was immediately identifiable for the viewer.

Equally, it was important to Neil Gaiman that the CG elements did not stand out too much, despite the fantasy nature of the subject matter. We needed to ensure the worlds and characters were always kept grounded in reality. A good example is how we approached Heaven and Hell. These key locations are essentially based around an office block!

Nothing too fantastical. But they are, as you would expect, completely different and deliberately so. Hell is the basement, which was shot in a disused abattoir in South Africa whilst Heaven is a full CG environment located in the penthouse with a panorama view over a cityscape featuring landmarks such as the Eiffel Tower, the Shard and the Pyramids.

How did you create the Angel and Demon wings?

Crowley and Aziraphale both have large majestic wings when seen in their real forms. Originally, our concept artist designed black bat-style wings for Crowley but Neil Gaiman preferred to have feathers for both the demons and angels.

We developed the wings based on swan-wing anatomy and built them digitally using the correct bone and feather structure, so that they could be animated realistically and broke them down into primary, secondary and covert feathers. Our ‘grooming’ team then replicated the swan feathers using bespoke software. Our look development artists ensured there was colour variation, with every feather a slightly different hue to make them look and move realistically.

Fine detail helped Aziraphale’s white feathers on screen, while Crowley’s black wings benefited from added iridescence. Getting the right balance of iridescence on the black feathers and then ensuring the white feathers had enough detail and variation to stand out was challenging. We spent time in the look development stages tweaking them. When we got to actual shot production we worked very closely with Neil and our groom and creature effects team to get a look that he and Douglas were really happy with - that would feel a realistic part of the actors bodies as they progressed through the scenes.

A lot of people have been trying to track down Aziraphale’s bookshop, can you let us in on its secret location?

There are rumours it may be hidden somewhere in the streets of London’s Soho! But we will let you into the secret… the Soho Street where the bookshop is located in Good Omens, was based on Berwick Street.

Here’s how it was created:

Production designer Michael Ralph created a set comprising of a two-block street exterior constructed up to the top of the first story, with the complete bookshop - inside and out - standing on the corner.

Four 20x20-foot mobile green screens helped our environment team complete the upper levels of the buildings and extend the road into the far distance. We photo scanned both the set and the original Berwick Street location, combining the reference to build digital assets capturing the district’s unique flavour, for scenes during both the day and night.

Douglas Mackinnon wanted crowds of people moving around constantly. So on shooting days, crowds of extras thronged the main section of street and a steady stream of vehicles turned in from a junction partway down. Areas outside this central zone remained empty, enabling us to drop in digital people and traffic without having to do takeovers from live-action performers and cars. Milk had a 1,000-frame cycle of cars and people that they dropped into every scene. We devised it so the real cars pulled in round the corner and there was always a bit of gridlock going on in the back to create visual interest.

Which was your favourite visual effect to create?

The CG Bentley without a doubt!

The digital Bentley featured in scenes showing the car tearing around London and the countryside at 90 miles per hour. Ultimately David Tennant’s Crowley drives through Hell fire on the M25, it catches fire and burns continuously as he heads towards the site of Armageddon.

The production located a real Bentley 3.5 Derby Coupe Thrupp & Maberly 1934, which we photo scanned and modelled in intricate detail. We introduced subtle imperfections to the body panels, ensuring the CG Bentley had the same handcrafted appearance as the real thing and would hold up in full screen shots, including continuous transitions from the street through a window to the actors in an interior replica car. In order to get the high speed required we shot plates on location from multiple cameras, including on a motorbike to achieve the high-speed bursts. Later production filled the car with smoke and our effects team added CG fire and burning textures to the exterior of our CG car, which intensified as he continued his journey.

[daemour]

神奇 (Shénqí)

Title: 神奇 (Shénqí)

Summary: Lost in a magical forest is not what you expected. Neither was being stuck in a fairy village for the unforeseeable future. But you didn't mind it too much, especially when there was a sweet fairy willing to help you out.

Genre: Fantasy, romance, fairy au, strangers 2 friends 2 enemies 2 lovers

Pairing: Jungkook x gender neutral!reader

Word Count: 1747

Warnings: None, some sus activity from Seokjin, but nothing implying non-con because there is none lol reader loves junglebook (there’s no smut or implied smut don’t worry

Written for the @goldenclosetnetwork Jungkook’s Birthday Project!

AND thank you to @ditttiii for beta’ing@

You had never imagined that your great-great-great-grandfather would be a witch. You had always been one of the only humans able to live in a predominantly witch city. And yet there you were, in a fairy village. You didn't mean to be there. But you somehow were. Sharing a meal with a small group of fairies too. There were only seven in total, as they had left their old village to start anew.

Honest to God, you were surprised at their willingness to let you stay there. Since the forest wouldn't let you leave for a month, they graciously allowed you to live among them. You had heard from your grandfather stories about fairies that would kidnap and kill you, but maybe he was wrong. Plus, by the time he told you about the fairies, he was old, and you didn't believe in them. He must have had many bad experiences because these fairies were kind.

Namjoon was the leader of the fairies, being the only one able to speak your language fluently. The others did know some but at varying levels. Seokjin was the oldest, and the best cook. Yoongi...you actually didn't know much about him, except that he slept a lot. Hoseok was friendly and basically the sun. Jimin was sweet and kept making everyone flower crowns. Taehyung loved to sing for you. And Jungkook...

He was the youngest of the fairies, clocking in at forty years old. It seemed old to you, but that's in fairy years. In human years, he was around your age, albeit a year younger. He was sweet and naïve, always asking you questions about humans that you struggled to answer. You didn't know why you had thirty-two teeth, goddammit. But he was kind and pretty and loved to talk to you.

Even after a week of being there, the other fairies still hadn’t warmed up to you, so they didn't talk to you much. Other than Jungkook, Namjoon was the only one who had done the talking. Hoseok, bless him, tried, but he still scuttled away after a few minutes. And you don't think Yoongi had even looked your way. 

"(Y/N)! Why do you wear shoes?" Ah, another endearing question.

"To protect my feet, Kookie. I don't want to cut them or hurt while I walk." Jungkook looked satisfied, but you knew another question would be coming shortly.

"What is a soda?" There it was.

"It's like a sweet drink with bubbles in it. It's not very good for you, but it's tasty."

"Can I have one?" You laughed at him this time.

"Sorry, Jungkook. I don't carry soda around with me. Maybe once I leave, I'll come visit and bring a soda." You missed the looks the others shot you and Jungkook, but Jungkook certainly didn’t and went quiet after. The rest of the dinner was finished in silence, and you head back to your tent, which the fairies set up for you.

Like with each of their huts, the inside is larger than the outside. They gave you a bed and some kind of weird light source consisting of white glowy petals in a jar. It's simple, but you quite like the homey-ness of it. You'll miss it when you leave.

You don't understand why the forest wants to keep you here for thirty days. Even the fairies were confused, so it mustn't be something the forest usually does. You sincerely hope that the forest will be kind to you, as you've heard tales from other travelers. "(Y/N)?" A fairy is calling out for you again, and you turn to see who it is. Hoseok.

"Hey, Hoseok. What's up?" You offer a smile, and he returns it.

"Jungkook likes you. You're funny, he thinks. Since he talks, you teach him your words? Namjoon tired from translation, and I feel bad." Hoseok still doesn't enter the tent fully, but you appreciate his coming to talk to you instead of making Namjoon come too. Though, you guess, he already explained why he didn't bring the younger fairy.

"Yeah, I can do that. Thanks, Seok." You don't even know why you're thanking him, but Hoseok seems to know, giving you a small smile and exiting. You sit down on the bed and cover the bottle of light with a small cloth. You wonder how teaching Jungkook language will go.

Not good. Not to say that Jungkook isn't a good student. He is. He just asks so many questions you don't know where to start. Like why the grass is green. He's a fairy. Doesn't he know this? The first lesson was not very productive, just you answering his questions. The second lesson was much of the same, and so was the third. Jungkook learned only a little grammar. They all were just Jungkook asking questions and you answering them until the eighth lesson and second week.

"(Y/N)? What's a...marriage?" Jungkook tries out the foreign word, stuttering a little over the last syllable. What. Your surprise must have shown on your face because Jungkook immediately became even more curious. "(Y/N)?"

"Marriage is a bond between people romantically," you try to answer him as simple as possible, but Jungkook is not satisfied.

"What do you mean?" Oh shit.

"Well, um. Let's say you like someone very much, and not like your sister or brother. You want to spend eternity with them. So you marry them. You are together in death or in life."

"But why do you have to marry them?"

"What brought this up?" Jungkook shrugs.

"I heard Namjoon reading his book of words. Anyway, why do you have to marry them?"

"His encyclopedia, Jungkook. And marriage is optional, but people like the feeling, I guess. I don't really know, Jungkook."

"Can I marry you?"

"No." You answered too fast, and Jungkoook's face falls. "No, not like I don't like you, Kook. I just don't know you well enough. Plus, you're cool, beautiful, and a fairy, and I'm kinda...ugly," you try for a deprecating joke to ease the tension, but Jungkook is having none of it. His eyes narrow.

"You're always beautiful to me, you know that?" You choke, but he still stares at you.

"Thanks." You don't know how else to respond to that. "Shall we continue with the lesson?

After that eventful day, Jungkook had acted differently. He paid attention and stopped asking so many questions. He also started clinging onto you, and you were genuinely confused. Even Namjoon and the others were confused. You had everyone else come up to you when Jungkook wasn't paying attention and ask you if Jungkook was dating you. You wouldn’t mind that, but with how Jungkook is acting, you just want to know what he’s doing first instead of pursuing something romantic.

Alas, you weren't. Jungkook was just being weird. Which lead you here, asking Taehyung what was up with Jungkook.

"Hmm? Jungkook? He is being the Haekurl Gauren."

"The what?" Taehyung just shrugs. He doesn't know how to say it in your language.

"All right. Thank you, Tae. I'll ask Namjoon." You continue on your wild goose chase, until you get an answer from, not Namjoon, surprisingly. The man immediately avoided you as soon as he saw you. You got your answer from Seokjin.

"Haekurl Gauren? That's the action we make to love someone."

"What?" You stare at the unbothered fairy. "Like marriage?"

Seokjin shakes his head. "No, not human. Fairy's blood bonds. We love someone with all love, our blood is theirs. They stay with us forever. Why do you know Haekurl Gauren?"

You stare at him for a straight minute, too surprised to speak. "It's- Taehyung told me- Jungkook?" Seokjin laughs, squeaky and high-pitched.

"I know. Jungkook talks us about you."

"I can't? Jungkook is a fairy, I am a human?" You don't understand. Seokjin smiles gently, putting a hand on your shoulder.

“Jungkook is a good one. He is okay. But he won’t make you do what you won’t .” His hand tightens on your shoulder. “But he will be upset, and we don’t like him upset.”

You try to shake him off, but Seokjin is unwavering. “Yes, I understand.” Seokjin is pleased, and lets you go. You quickly walk away, trying to calm your beating heart. And...here comes Jungkook, beaming like he just won the fairy lottery.

“(Y/N)!” He calls out for you, and feeling Seokjin’s eyes boring into your back, you offer him a wide smile and ruffle his hair. “Guess what?”

“What?”

“I found a fairy marriage! I asked Namjoon, he says Haekurl Gauren is the marriage!” Oh, God. You try your best to get out of this.

“But you barely know me!” Jungkook is unphased.

“No, we spent lessons together! I know you! You like strawberries, you can’t sleep without having something to hug, and you sneeze like a monster!”

“But that’s not nearly enough! Jungkook, are you serious?” Jungkook’s face starts to fall, and you can hear Seokjin start to get up.

“You don’t like me? I should’ve known.”

You start to panic, but still try to hide it. “Jungkook, I just need a little more time. It’s not a no.” He’s still unhappy, and Seokjin is getting closer. “Jungkook, please. I love you, but I need some time.”

Jungkook looks at you with watery eyes. He sniffles, and your heart breaks into pieces. You want to marry him, God, you do, but it’s just too soon. You don’t think you would be able to love him fully if you are suddenly bonded to him. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Kook, I promise. I just am unused to this sudden confession. Please, believe me. I truly do love you, but I just need a little more time to adjust.” Jungkook starts to perk back up, tears still sparkling in his eyes. You suddenly don’t regret your vague promise to marry him. If he looks like this every day, you wouldn’t mind it.

“Will the next solstice be enough time for you?” Jungkook grasps your hands in his, kissing the tips of your fingers.

Next solstice...it is currently the middle of fall, and you think you can love him within that time frame. “Yes, Kook.”

Jungkook beams up at you, and you are so caught up in his smile that you don’t notice Seokjin returning to his seat with a small nod at Namjoon. It is completely understandable, now that you have a wedding to plan.

[sa-gt-tarrius]

Liars Ahead: Proceed with Caution

Warnings:

Foul language, needles, lots of injuries, character death. Tread carefully!

@cakercanart @secret-shifters

This fic is a bit gritty, moreso than what I usually write. If it’s too much for you to handle, or if it’s just not up your alley and you don’t really like the harsher elements, please feel free to let me know! I’d be happy to edit it down to make it less angsty.

***

No one knew exactly how many secrets MIRA Incorporated kept under wraps.

Their kind of work demanded secrecy, of course. When a company is involved in such groundbreaking fields, they are bound to draw prying eyes. MIRA specialized in relativistic aeronautics, atmospheric engineering, and long-term spacefaring. These terms were new-age babble that roughly translated to “living in outer space.” MIRA studied things that science fiction nerds could only dream of seeing. 

However, MIRA understood that profits would tank if any old Joe Schmoe could walk into their headquarters and leak their data. It was no surprise, then, that the employees of MIRA knew so little about their own company. Most workers had to stay on their assigned floor for their entire careers. Three whole levels of clearance were required to use the fancy upstairs bathrooms!

But there was one thing that was no secret to anyone: MIRA was planning something big. Something amazing. And whatever it was, it was going to happen soon. Excited whispers swept through every office and laboratory—the company had something in store that would rock the world. 

But to Henry Newground, this was all a bit underwhelming.

Henry had been tirelessly working at MIRA HQ for five years. He was an accountant for MIRA’s payroll, which meant he spent most of the day staring at lists of numbers and rummaging through file cabinets. When he was first hired, Henry naively believed that he could climb the corporate ladder and become an astronaut if he just worked hard enough. But alas, it was not to be—even after long years of no sick days and lots of overtime, Henry was still a simple accountant. He fought tooth and nail for a goddamn raise, so it was no wonder that his dream job was a mere fantasy. 

At least, that’s what he thought. But then a letter appeared on his desk one morning. 

Mr. Henry Newground,

We at MIRA have accepted your application to join our spacefaring and research apprenticeship program. Enclosed in this letter is a Level 10 Clearance Card. You will need it to access the upper office on the 50th floor, where more details will be provided. Please come to the office as soon as your shift ends. 

Kind regards, 

Elliot Rose 

Chief Executive Officer of M.I.R.A. Incorporated 

At first, Henry thought this was just a joke. His boss Kerri didn’t mention the letter all day, so she must’ve not known about it. (Either that or she had been in on it the whole time. She was a well-known jokester, after all.) And none of Henry’s coworkers spared him a second glance as he quietly left at five o’clock to head upstairs. 

The security guard at the elevator tried to turn Henry away, which seemed to confirm his just-a-prank theory. But as Henry fumbled over a frantic apology, trying to explain that he must have been set up by his coworkers, the security guard spotted a shiny blue rectangle dangling from Henry’s neck: a Level 10 Clearance Card. The guard opened the elevator door without a word, ushering the confused man inside and pressing the button for the fiftieth floor. 

“Ms. Rose doesn’t usually let people into her office,” the guard murmured as the elevator ascended ominously. “You must be helping with that big project they’re talking about. All the nerds upstairs won’t shut up about it.”

“Sh–she said she’d give me details when I got to her office.” Henry spun to face the guard, his face scrunched up anxiously. “Do I look okay? I didn’t have time to put on a suit…”

“You look fine. Stand up straight, we’re almost there.”

Given the air of mystery surrounding the upper floors of the building, Henry had no idea what to expect. But what he didn’t anticipate was to be met with a gust of wind. Henry shielded his eyes as a glare of sunlight began to burn his retinas. He was outdoors—on the roof of the building. It looked like a helicopter pad, only much, much larger. 

The security officer cleared his throat, gently ushering Henry out of the elevator. He jutted his finger towards the other side of the launch pad, towards a hallway that led back inside the building. “Just follow the path for a bit, and then take the left path at the fork. If you make it to the greenhouse, you went too far.” 

“Er, thanks…”

“And make sure you knock. Ms. Rose hates when people barge in.”

Henry nodded tentatively. He took a deep breath and marched towards the entryway, determined to get to the office before chickening out. 

The upper floors weren’t that unusual, Henry thought as he trotted along. He passed by a smelly locker room, a tiny medical bay, and a grimy computer room. Nothing about this place seemed particularly flashy or elite. Henry was starting to think he was on the wrong floor. 

Henry made the left turn, as the guard told him, and arrived in a small alcove with three rooms. One of the rooms was a lab of some sort, although it was barren and empty for the time being. The room ahead was filled with bushes and shrubs, with a large glass tube in the centre. And the last one was closed—a sign reading “please knock” hung nearly on the doorknob. 

Henry knocked three times and yanked his hand away like the wood was searing hot. 

Then the door creaked open. 

No one knew much about Ms. Elliot Rose. Even the managers and supervisors scarcely spoke of her at all. Henry honestly had no idea what to anticipate from her, aside from the cutthroat ruthlessness most company owners tended to have. But instead of a snide, fierce woman who could tear him apart with a glance, the woman standing in the open doorway was hardly remarkable. She was just barely taller than Henry, no older than thirty, and her red hair bristled out in all directions like she hadn’t brushed it in days. Her eyes were bagged and sunken, almost sickly, and her gaze was panicked and wild for a moment before locking onto Henry. 

She frowned. “Can I help you?”

“Ms. Rose?” Henry tried, unsure if he was truly talking to the CEO of the largest corporation on the planet. “My name is H–Henry Newground. I was told to come here at five, I–I have a clearance card if you need to see it—”

“Oh, right. Henry.” The woman suddenly straightened up, swinging the door open fully and gesturing for Henry to enter. “Thank you for coming. I’m sorry to inconvenience you like this.”

“It’s fine. I’m sorry for the delay.” Henry stepped inside, clearing his throat in a sorry attempt to appear composed. The room was nothing special—just a small office with four computer desks and a box-shaped radio. The woman took a seat at the messiest desk, leaning back into the chair. Henry claimed an empty chair from a desk nearby, bouncing his leg anxiously. “So, um… about this spacefaring program…”

Elliot Rose smiled, sinking into the chair cushion and leaning back. “I’ve looked over your application and was very happy with what I saw. I think you have potential, Henry.”

“Thank you,” Henry sputtered, baffled and giddy that the CEO was singing such high praises of him. “I’ve always loved learning about space, you know. That’s why I applied for this job. Even as a kid, I—”

“That’s great, Henry,” Elliot hummed, slipping out a gaping yawn before continuing. “Anyway, I just wanted to run a couple of things by you before we send you off. You got your master's degree in microbiology from Harvard, correct? I’ve also heard you’ve taken courses in astrophysics.”

Henry nodded eagerly. “That’s right. I’ve also taken extracurricular classes on geology, I was the leader of the chess club… a–and I sold drinks at the campus football games,” he finished lamely.

“You see, Henry,” Elliot drawled, twirling a pen with her fingers, “I have thirty-four other applicants with higher education than you do. Half of them have three or more doctorates. I don’t care much about your education.” She leaned forward, crossing her arms firmly over the desk. Something glinted behind her eyes—it was impossible to read. “But you have special skills, ones that could greatly benefit my crew.” Elliot leaned forward, crossing her arms firmly over the desk. “Our coordinators are getting ready to send supplies to Polus on a small dropship. The trip will last about two days. I want you on that ship before it takes off.”

“Y–you want—” Henry choked on his breath. “You want me to go to space?”

Elliot smirked. “Is that a problem?”

“I–I just— Y–you don’t— W–well—“

“Use your words, Henry.”

“I’m just…” Henry sputtered, struggling to find words to say. “Don’t I need training?”

“You don’t sound very excited… I thought you would be happy about this. Didn’t you apply to join our spacefaring program last year?”

“I mean, yeah.” Henry shuffled in his seat awkwardly. “But my application was turned down. I didn’t have enough education for it. Why do you want me now?”

“Things change,” Elliot laughed. “I’d like to personally ask you to join the Polus crew and help document alien life.”

The two fell silent. 

Elliot smirked coyly. “Is that a yes?”

“I–I mean, absolutely,” Henry sputtered. “I’m just… a little confused. Are you sure you’ve got the right person?”

“I most certainly do,” Elliot replied. 

“Okay,” Henry muttered, unsure of how he managed to get into this strange situation with no warning. “So… what now?”

“Go home, get some sleep, and come back here tomorrow. Same time, of course. I’ll get you all the details by then.” 

“Okay.”

“Have a good night, Henry.”

“Th–thanks.”

Henry’s head was still spinning as he made his way out of Elliot’s office. 

“You alright, buddy?” the security guard piped as Henry entered the elevator, his eyebrow raised curiously. “You look like you’re gonna pass out.”

“I’m fine.” Henry gripped his forehead, fighting off another dizzy spell. Butterflies were forming in the pit of his stomach as the elevator descended. “I just need to go home.”

And that’s exactly what Henry did. As soon as he fetched his lunch kit from the office fridge, the young man hopped into his SUV and drove straight home. Not even bothering to change out of his work uniform, Henry collapsed on the bed. His head continued spinning. 

Surely this was a big joke. 

Elliot herself said that many people were far more qualified than he was. So why was she so adamant about having Henry on her crew? It made no sense. 

Henry knew he wouldn’t have gotten any answers that night, not by muttering and mumbling into his pillow like a lunatic. He’d have to get the details tomorrow like Elliot told him to. So instead of uselessly mulling it over, Henry plucked his phone off the side table and quickly dialled a number. The phone barely had time to ring before someone on the other end picked up. “Hey, sweetie. How was work today?”

“Hi Henry, it was good! What about you?”

“Well, I–I was called into a meeting by the CEO. She said she wanted me in her spacefaring program.”

“Oh, that’s… hang on. Are you serious? They accepted you?!”

“Yeah. She asked me to help with some research. She said she was impressed by my application and—”

“You���re going to space!” A young woman’s voice bubbled ecstatically over the phone. She laughed and giggled, even belting out an excited shriek for good measure. “I’m so proud of you! I knew you’d get in, I just knew it!”

“You did, yeah.”

“God, I wish I could be there right now,” the woman chuckled. “I want to give you a big hug.”

Henry smiled faintly. “Thanks, sweetie.”

“I’m going to go buy a bunch of chocolates for you today. I don’t know if it’ll get delivered before you leave, but it can at least be a welcome-back present.”

“Oh, you don’t have to, Sigrid,” Henry replied. “How would you even send it? The post office won’t accept packages that big. I don’t even know if a box of chocolates would fit in the mail truck.”

The woman, presumably named Sigrid, huffed indignantly. “Well, fine. I’ll just think of something else.”

Henry had never actively sought out a relationship. He was too focused on work to consider dating, and his social circle wasn’t large enough for him to start dating around. And yet, for three years now, Henry had been in a lovely relationship with a woman named Sigrid Brandson. She lived in northwestern Canada (according to her), far away from any large cities, and Henry wasn’t yet lucky enough to meet her face-to-face. 

The reason? Sigrid was a giant. 

There few places giants and humans could casually be together—and much fewer ways to travel to each other—so they usually spent their time on the phone or video calls. Henry didn’t mind much, although it was disheartening to have never kissed Sigrid even after years of being committed. 

It was thanks to Sigrid that Henry learned to speak and write Riesian, the language of the giants. When the two first met on an online fan forum, Sigrid spoke very little English, and Henry didn’t even know the Riesian language existed. But with time and effort, the two were able to cross the language barrier, eventually teaching each other their native tongues. 

“Do you know where you’re going?”

“Yeah, she said I’m going to a planet called Polus. They have a research base set up there.”

“Polus?” Sigrid repeated. “Oh… that’s… that’s nice.”

It was then that Henry realized Sigrid’s voice had become a tad crestfallen. He frowned. “Everything good?”

“Just… be careful out there,” Sigrid murmured. “I know it’s probably fine and I’m worrying about nothing, but make sure you stay safe, okay? And call me if you can. I’m so proud of you, Henry.” She suddenly stopped speaking English and switched to Riesian. 

“Bai tcho eim, honey.” 

Be safe.

***

On the days leading up to takeoff, Elliot had been vigorously training Henry. He learned how to fix wiring issues, how to power up engines, how to use the weather nodes, and how to examine and sort specimens that were brought into the base. Henry was very quickly becoming a rather competent spacefarer. 

But still, Henry was on edge. Despite the training and the reassurances from Elliot, something didn’t sit quite right. But none of that mattered—before he knew it, Henry was stuffed into a white spacesuit, complete with the MIRA logo and the American flag emblazoned on the shoulders. Dozens of people swarmed around him, talking to each other and furiously taking notes. A brisk wind punctuated the murmur of the crowd. 

Elliot knelt before him, her hands running along the fabric to make sure the suit would fit Henry. 

“You’ll be accompanying Aesir Vidstrom while you’re on Polus,” she said as she worked. “He’s the new chief of medical staff. He’ll meet you at the landing site and help you get settled in.” Elliot fiddled with the straps on Henry’s waist, tightening the suit until it fit. Henry was quite a few inches shorter than prior astronauts, so his spacesuit needed to be altered before he could use it. “You’re to stay with Aesir at all times unless he says otherwise. Is that clear?”

Henry nodded and glanced away, choosing to stare at the looming spaceship atop the crowded launchpad—a dropship, Elliot had called it. The ship was fairly large, about eight meters in height and width, and the nose stretched outwards almost twelve meters. The jet black paint glistened in the early morning sun, and Henry’s nose crinkled at the smell of something burning. 

“And remember, my crew is always on standby. We’ll be ready to help you whenever you need it.”

“Th–thank you, ma’am.”

“Don’t mention it.” Elliot finally stepped away from Henry, admiring the finished spacesuit. “I think you’re ready. Let’s get you out of here.” She turned around, facing the crowd, and raised her voice. “Five minutes to takeoff!”

“Five minutes!” someone screamed over the din. “Fire up the reactors!”

“Starting reactors! Diverting power to the left and right engines! Standby…”

“All clear, ma’am! Someone get Newground on board!”

“Let’s go, Henry.” Elliot shoved Henry towards the dropship. The large metal plating began to slide up, similar to a garage door. A pair of men in uniform guided Henry up the steps and into the cabin of the ship. Ten plush seats lined the walls—Henry took a tentative seat in the closest one, the farthest to the left, and began to buckle himself in. The men in uniform quickly left as the engine roar increased in volume. The other staff members gathered along the edges of the launch pad in anticipation. 

“Good luck, Henry!” Elliot hollered, waving her arm up over the crowd. “You'll do great, I know it!”

Before Henry could reply, the door began to slide shut. The ship shivered and groaned, and within seconds, the whole thing began to rise and sway. Henry barely had time to squeeze his eyes shut before the ship suddenly lurched forward at unimaginable speeds. 

The poor man clenched his seatbelt like a lifeline. He knew takeoff would only last a minute or two, and yet the ordeal seemed to last a lifetime. Henry felt his body being squished against the chair, constructing his lungs and preventing him from breathing. As much as he tried to, he couldn’t even scream. 

And then, as quickly as it began, everything started to slow down again. The roar of the engine faded somewhat, and the whole cabin gradually stopped shaking. Henry wasn’t quite confident enough to get out of the seat, so he remained strapped in, gasping heavily as he tried to soothe his racing heart. 

Finally, when everything was calm, Henry shakily unbuckled himself and rose to stand. As he shuffled through the cabin, he took the time to properly examine the interior of the dropship he would be riding in. There were various steel crates scattered about, each containing canned rations and various tools. A small laptop was placed on the smallest crate, detailing the dropship’s velocity, fuel levels, turbulence, and current distance from Polus. He made a mental note to check on it later to make sure everything was normal. 

And then, on the starboard side of the ship, a solitary window glimmered.

Henry dared himself to peer outside. 

He paused, then gasped.

Even after seeing outer space countless times in photographs and videotapes, Henry was still gobsmacked by the vast starry void before him. To his right, the planet Earth was rapidly shrinking as he blasted further away, and the sun was a mere speck of light in the distance. This wasn’t a fantasy anymore—Henry was hurtling through the solar system in a spaceship, making his way towards an alien planet. 

A childish grin crept onto his face. 

This was it. After years of daydreaming, Henry was a real-life astronaut—his younger self would be so proud. Henry was so ecstatic that his earlier anxieties and frustrations were completely forgotten, left behind on his home planet. 

In less than two days, Henry would arrive on Polus to begin his spacefaring apprenticeship. He kept thinking about Sigrid, imagining all the stories he’d get to tell her when he got back to Earth. 

This was going to be amazing.

He just hoped nothing would go wrong. 

***

The trip to Polus was progressing faster than Henry ever expected. He wondered how MIRA’s ships could move so quickly and yet use so little fuel—it was a blessing of science, to be sure. 

But by the twentieth hour of the trip came and went, Henry felt anything but blessed. 

There wasn’t much for entertainment in the dropship. Henry could only fumble around on the laptop, gaze out of the window, or pace the cabin a few times. The boredom was excruciating, but the anticipation was even worse. Luckily, Elliot had reached out to him a few times via video calls, answering questions and keeping him company during the arduous journey to Polus. 

“Any turbulence today?” she asked. 

“None,” Henry replied. “No asteroids, either. Everything is fine so far.”

Elliot smiled. “Good. The dropship has a bit of a reputation for rough rides, so I was worried about engine damage. Seems like I was worried about nothing.”

The two made idle conversation every four hours or so, which was a welcome distraction. As much as Henry adored being in space for the first time, he couldn’t deny how lonely and boring it was. And having someone like Elliot to guide him was another welcome addition, even if her presence unnerved Henry somewhat. 

Two more days passed. Henry was munching on his lunch ration. He’d opened the package to find sliced canned meat—bland and oily and smelly. But with the addition of some crackers and canned oranges, the meal made for a decent lunch. However, before he was even halfway finished eating, a rumbling began to overtake the cabin. His lunch contained tumbled onto its side, spilling cracker crumbs all over the floor. Henry instinctively latched onto a nearby crate, trying his best not to fall over as the entire ship swayed. 

A synthetic voice rose over the fray. “Entering the Polus mesosphere,” it announced in a polite, monotonous tone. “Current velocity: 326 miles per hour. Engine temperature: nominal. Distance from indicated landing site: estimate of 833 miles. Please fasten your seatbelt and prepare for landing.”

Henry was knocked to the ground as the shaking intensified. The ship was approaching Polus, and fast. He crawled to the nearest seat, restraining himself a bit too tightly in his haste. The voice continued droning on as the ship entered the planet’s atmosphere. 

“786 miles… 721 miles… 678 miles…”

And then a deafening screech sounded from above. Henry winced and tightened his grip on the seatbelt as the ship suddenly did a nosedive. 

“504 miles… 452 miles…”

A siren overhead wailed loudly. Bright red lights flashed in the corners of his eyes. 

“310 miles… 259 miles…”

Something was very, very wrong. 

“199 miles… 97 miles…”

He braced himself. 

“12 miles… 2 miles…”

Everything went white. 

***

“Come on, don’t die on me.”

Black dots continued to bounce in Henry’s vision as his mind stirred. The young man let out a miserable groan, clutching his forehead painfully. 

“That’s it… Wake up, little guy…”

Henry paused. It took him a moment to realize that the voice overhead wasn’t speaking English. It took two more seconds to realize that the voice was extremely loud, almost like it was coming from a speaker. 

Both these mysteries were solved as soon as he opened his eyes. 

A monstrously large figure loomed above, blocking out the light of the bulb dangling overhead. Ginormous eyes, hazel and bright, were locked onto Henry’s trembling body. And it—he—was smiling gently. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” the giant man murmured in Riesian. “I’m not gonna hurt you, little guy.”

Henry swallowed hard. He took a moment to gather himself so he wouldn’t have a panic attack, then turned his attention back to the giant face hanging above him. The huge, strange man cocked his head curiously. “Ah geez, I hope you’re not broken or anything… That would suck.” The voice boomed and shook Henry’s core, even though the giant was trying to speak softly. Henry couldn’t even keep eye contact without his heart dropping, so he kept his gaze locked onto the giant’s chest. He only barely noticed the white MIRA spacesuit the giant wore, identical to Henry’s suit in every way aside from its massive size. “Oh yeah, you can’t understand me, huh? Maybe we have a translator lying around here…”

“I–I am fine,” Henry fumbled in awkward Riesian, forcing his voice not to waver. He wasn’t even sure if he was even speaking correctly—but he was too nervous to care about his grammar. Fluency was the least of his problems. “I am okay.”

“Sweet.” The giant nodded, froze, then gasped. “...Wait, you can understand me?”

“I d–d–do.”

“But you’re human.” The giant’s face descended further—huge strands of curly brown hair brushed along Henry’s stomach. “Humans don’t speak Riesian.”

“Y–you’re right,” Henry murmured, flinching away from the enormous eyes drilling into him. “It’s a long story.”

The giant suddenly scoffed, his sheepish half-smile giving way to a full grin. “Cheeky bugger, huh? The name’s Aesir. What’s yours?”

“You are Aesir?” Henry perked up. “Aesir Vidstrom?”

Aesir’s eyebrows shot up. “Uh, yeah. You’ve heard of me?”

Henry licked his lips, trying to remember some difficult Riesian words. “You are a… scientist. A space e–explorer. B–b–but Ms. Rose… never said you are a… giant.”

“How about that,” Aesir laughed, stroking his chin. “Never thought I’d meet a human like you.”

Thinking for a moment, Aesir snapped his fingers in a sudden realization. 

“Oh, wait—then that would make you what’s-his-name, right? HQ said some random new guy was on his way. But they never said you’d be a human. That’s MIRA for you, I guess… If they were stupid enough to wreck your ship, then they’d forget to mention that.”

“Wreck my ship?” Henry repeated slowly. Memories began flooding back into his mind. The alarms, the flashing lights, the sudden nosedive…

The dropship crashed. 

“Wait, then I—” 

“Whoa, whoa, slow down, buddy.” The giant winced when Henry scrambled to sit up. “Take it easy, yeah?” Aesir paused for a moment, tapping his foot a few times. “Actually… Wait here for a sec, alright? I need to grab something.”

With that, Aesir moved away to shuffle out of sight.

With the enormous face out of his vision, Henry was able to sit up and finally assess the surrounding area, hissing a bit as he aggravated his injury. He was sitting on a mattress that stretched several meters in every direction. The blue sheets and white pillow were reminiscent of a gurney, like ones you might find in a hospital. And sure enough, upon closer inspection, the room appeared to be a small medical bay, white walls and smell of disinfectant included. There were three other identical beds lined between curtain barriers, just like the bed he was sitting on. Henry peered to the right. He could see the silhouette of Aesir leaned over a countertop through the wall of curtains. 

What was he doing over there?

Henry forced himself to speak. “This is Polus?”

“Sure is,” Aesir replied from beyond the curtain wall. “You were lucky you made it this far on that hunk of junk—if your ship malfunctioned any sooner, you might’ve crashed into an asteroid or something.” Aesir came back into view, sidestepping the curtain to approach Henry. “Now stay still.”

“I… uh…” Henry held up his hands, carefully scooting back a few inches. Aesir hadn’t come back to Henry empty-handed; in his left palm, the giant cradled a glass syringe filled with a bluish liquid. The needle was almost six feet tall, taller than Henry was. “I–I do not need that.”

“Yes, you do. Come over here.” 

“It is t–too big,” Henry wavered, curling in on himself as Aesir continued to approach. “Nothing hurts. I am… un–uninjured. Do not need that. Do not need it.”

Listening to Henry’s trembling voice and weak attempts to dissuade him, Aesir’s face fell. “Look,” he whispered, getting onto his knees to kneel by the bed, “don’t make this harder than it needs to be. When we’re in medbay, I’m the boss.” The giant slowly reached out his free hand, grasping Henry’s shoulder with his enormous finger and thumb. His other hand, the one bearing the syringe, began to drift closer to Henry. “Now stay still, or this will hurt more than it needs to.”

In a fright, Henry leapt away from Aesir’s hand in a frantic escape attempt. He scrambled across the sheet, making a beeline for the white pillow at the head of the bed. 

“Shit—” Aesir cursed under his breath, tossing the needle to the side. He made a lunge forward, both hands outstretched, reaching for Henry’s tiny form. Before Henry could reach the pillows, the terrified human being suddenly found himself encased in musty, cramped darkness. His stomach sank when he realized what just happened—Aesir had trapped him in his hands. 

A feeling of intense vertigo overcame him as Aesir stood up straight; he felt himself being slammed against the giant palm beside him. Despite being very obviously trapped, Henry continued to squirm, searching in vain for an opening to crawl through. He pawed at the skin surrounding him, growing ever more desperate. 

And then a light shone through the fingers above him. “Stop being a brat,” Aesir muttered. Henry opened his mouth to retort, but his breath hitched in his throat when a sharp pain pierced his lower back. He let out a strangled sob, trying not to thrash around and hurt himself more. 

Aesir hummed contentedly. “There we go… nice and easy.” The needle retracted as quickly as it was injected. Henry took the moment of reprieve to dry his eyes and ease his pounding heart. “Told you it wasn’t that bad,” he chuckled. “Just be thankful it wasn’t worse.” 

Henry refused to reply—he focused on keeping his eyes locked downward. Aesir’s lack of empathy was beginning to unsettle him; although the giant paid lip service to Henry’s discomfort, he ultimately seemed to care very little about the pain and terror he was causing. 

Aesir, oblivious to Henry’s plight, lifted his hands to his face, staring down the sniffling, petrified human with unbridled excitement. “Well, now that you’re all drugged up, I figure we’re good to get your suit back on. Don’t want you freezing out here, you know.”

“Suit?” Ah, yes. They were in space, after all. It made sense that he should have to wear a spacesuit, even if they were indoors. “O–okay.”

Aesir pulled his left hand away from Henry, reaching for the nearby countertop. His hand returned quickly, dangling the white spacesuit with his index and thumb. “Legs up, bud. Let’s get you dressed.”

“I can do it,” Henry said quickly, knowing exactly where this conversation was going. 

“Yeah, nah,” Aesir chuckled. “Doctor’s orders. Now hold still this time, you brat.”

Henry huffed pointedly, knowing that he wouldn’t be getting out of this. With heavy reluctance, Henry slowly raised his legs into the air, allowing Aesir to slip the pant legs on, followed by the sleeves and the helmet. Unfortunately, the visor was cracked along the upper edge, but Aesir urged him not to worry. “The glass is three layers thick,” he explained. “You’ll be fine until we can get a replacement.” Surprisingly, Henry didn’t quite believe him. 

Henry had only just gotten the suit fitted (or rather, Aesir did the fitting for him) when someone suddenly spoke up. “Aesir.”

At the sound of the firm, strange voice, Henry flinched. His eyes landed on a figure standing in the corner of the room, dressed in a bulky green spacesuit. Henry couldn’t see her face—the light of the room reflected off the visor, obscuring whatever was behind the glass. Henry briefly imagined that she looked like a war veteran, stoic and hardened, probably with lots of scars decorating their skin.

“Oh, Svikari!” Aesir whirled around at the voice, clearing his throat and donning a lopsided grin. “What brings you here?”

“I came to see the human.” The woman, presumably named Svikari, barely budged as she spoke. It was like she was a statue with a voice of its own. “But I see you’ve taken care of things. I’ll be on my way, then.”

Aesir choked on something. “W–wait! Hang on a tic, alright? Why the hurry?”

Svikari cocked her head, acting as though Aesir’s question was incredibly stupid. “I have work to do. I came to see how the human was doing, and now I have to go.”

“Well, hang on,” Aesir stammered, fumbling over his words. “How about you come with me to storage today? I have to do some refuelling there.”

“I don’t have any tasks in storage today,” Svikari replied curtly.

“Come on, boss,” Aesir urged, lowering his voice. “It’s safer in groups. You know that.” He perked up a bit, raising his cupped hands. Not expecting to be jerked upward, Henry was almost launched off his palms. “A–and I know you wanna meet the human! He’s kind of bratty, but I think you’ll like him.”

Svikari paused. “Hello, human,” she said softly. “I trust you’ve been treated well?”

Henry hesitated. What was he supposed to say? He was tempted to start ratting off all the bruises he was getting thanks to Aesir, but he bit his tongue. Would he get in trouble if he told the truth? This Svikari character seemed far less sympathetic than Aesir, so perhaps there would be no point in complaining. They might even hurt him even more for speaking up. So he swallowed his pride and nodded slowly. “Y–yes, I am fine.” 

Svikari paused, glancing between Henry, who shuddered under her scrutinizing gaze, and Aesir, who smiled hopefully. 

“If you’re that afraid to go alone, I suppose I can come,” Svikari sighed. 

“I’m not scared!” Aesir retorted, tightening his painful grip on Henry. “I just don’t wanna get jumped in there.” Shrugging, Aesir once again prodded Henry in the stomach, chuckling as he did so. “I guess if an imposter shows up, I can use Henry as bait. You wouldn’t mind, right bud?”

Svikari laughed in reply, although something about her tone seemed… off. Henry wasn’t able to tell if the laughter was genuine or sarcastic. Henry said nothing at first, focusing on clutching his stomach to keep himself from throwing up. 

“I–imposters?” Henry finally coughed. “What are imposters?”

“Oops.” Aesir winced painfully. “Uh, well… we weren’t supposed to tell you.”

“I see no harm in explaining,” Svikari interjected. “If he’s going to stay here, he should know.”

“But Ms. Rose said—”

“I’ll handle Rose. Just keep your mouth shut.”

Aesir groaned, scrunching up his face in discomfort. “I mean… you’re the boss, dude. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. She’s scary when she gets mad.”

“Thank you, Aesir.” Svikari nodded, finally turning her attention back to Henry. “I assume Elliot never told you about the strange happenings on this base?”

“N–no.”

“I thought not. It’s in her best interest to keep this all a secret, after all.” Svikari folded her arms, exuding that terrifying, ominous energy that only giants were capable of. “Elliot probably told you that we found life on this planet. The life forms we discovered are what we’ve been calling imposters—carnivorous, man-eating shapeshifters that we’ve been trying to get rid of for the last few months.”

Henry felt his stomach drop. Carnivores? Man-eating? Shapeshifters? Someone had to be pulling his leg at this point. “Ms. Rose said you found plant life,” he countered quickly, not willing to believe Svikari’s wild claims. “She said nothing about aliens.”

“That’s because she was lying.”

“B–but why would she lie?”

“Telling people would be bad for business, I guess. Who knows what goes on in her head.” Svikari shrugged weakly. “Imposters have been wreaking lots of havoc lately. They kill the lights, mess with the reactors, cut off the oxygen supply… and I’m willing to bet they caused your ship to crash.”

“You’re right,” Aesir gasped. “I didn’t even think about that. They probably messed with the radio signals or something.” 

“We’re pretty sure we got rid of them for now, at least.”

“Don’t speak too soon,” Aesir corrected. “Remember what happened to Tor?”

“Of course I do,” Svikari huffed. “It took Bastion weeks to get the blood out of the carpet.”

Oh, dear god. 

There was no room for doubt, then. Henry began to tremble, tears causing his eyes to glimmer. What sort of cruel joke was the universe playing on him? After so long, he manages to achieve his dream of becoming an astronaut, only to find himself stranded on a faraway planet with malicious giants and man-eating aliens. Some malicious deity had to be laughing their ass off right about now. 

“Aww, don’t worry, little guy!” Aesir cooed behind his visor, bouncing the human seated in his hand. “Big bad imposter people can’t hurt you out here.”

While Aesir continued to coo condescending reassurances, bouncing his hand in what was supposed to be a comforting gesture, Svikari stared thoughtfully at the minuscule human. Henry had no idea what was going on in that strange head of hers. Henry simply gripped the coarse fabric of Aesir’s glove, trying his best not to descend into a full-blown breakdown. 

“We should be going,” Svikari said suddenly. “Let’s take care of refuelling so I can finish my tasks.” 

Aesir hummed in agreement. “Okay. Let’s go.” 

***

If Henry was being frank, which he usually wasn’t, he’d say that Polus was a bit… underwhelming. If he wasn’t looking at the dank, snowy, barren landscape, or the abnormally large scale of everything around him, Henry would truly believe he was still on earth. Still, Aesir seemed determined to remind Henry just how small he was at any given opportunity. He’d croon, poke, and tease him incessantly, despite Henry’s continual whimpers of disapproval. 

Thankfully, it didn’t take long for Aesir to fill up the fuel tank in the storage room, which was a cramped little building in the centre of the base. Svikari decided to just follow Aesir around until all his tasks were done, with the promise that Aesir would return the favour afterward. 

Svikari offered to carry Henry while Aesir worked. The giant was visibly hesitant about this proposition, refusing the offer the first few times Svikari asked. But eventually, Aesir relented, and Henry had been relegated to riding in Svikari’s hands. Henry sat in silence, rubbing his newfound bruises absently. He briefly wondered if someone would give him painkillers if he asked, but he pushed the thought away. There’s no chance they’d even consider the idea. 

“Almost done,” Aesir announced after a while, leading the group down a long hallway. Small patches of snow crunched beneath their boots as they trudged along. “I just gotta check the oxygen supply. Svikari, what tasks do you have left?”

A beat of silence passed before an answer came out. “O–oh, I need to fill the air canisters,” Svikari said quickly, stumbling over her words a bit. “And then I have to upload some data to HQ.”

“Cool.” Aesir glanced behind him, eyeing Henry with a cheeky grin. “You good back there, pipsqueak? Need anything?”

“No,” Henry mumbled. 

Aesir laughed, unfazed by Henry’s sneering tone. “Alright, don’t get your panties in a knot.”

After his initial wave of terror had passed, Henry found himself becoming increasingly agitated. He was upset with Aesir for terrorizing him in the lab. He was angry at Elliot for sending him to Polus. And he was mad at Svikari, too. He didn’t have a reason to be, but darn it, he was mad anyway. 

Henry was broken out of his thoughts when something brushed against his shoulder—a thumb. “Hey.” Svikari tapped him gently, her head tilted to the side. “You look upset. Is everything ok?”

With her intimidating presence, Henry could barely keep his eyes on Svikari. His eyes drifted to the ground, locked into his feet as he replied quietly. “Yes.”

“It doesn’t look like it,” the giant prodded. “Did he... Did Aesir hurt you? You don’t look too good.”

Henry bit his lip nervously. “N–no, he didn’t.”

Svikari sighed. “You’re lying. I can tell.” She adjusted her hands, swiveling Henry around so he had to face her completely. “Tell me what happened.”

“I–I...” Henry backpedalled, scooting as far away from Svikari’s looming face. He found his back pressing against Svikari’s curled fingers, and through the shimmering glass, he could almost see two pleading eyes locked into him. “H–he didn’t mean to. I just... wh–when he tried to give me those medications, I tried to run away—”

“What?” Svikari frowned. “Hang on, back up. What medications? What are you talking about?”

“U–um, he didn’t say what it was. Maybe it was a painkiller.”

“...Did he use a needle? Was it a blue liquid?”

“H–how did you know that?”

Svikari fell silent. She glanced towards Aesir, who was walking a ways ahead, and her muscles tensed. “That wasn’t a painkiller,” she said lowly. “It’s an experimental drug that our old medical chief was working on. We aren’t allowed to use it until we test it, since it killed our test subjects a few days ago. Aesir seriously could have killed you.”

Henry’s heart dropped into his stomach.

“I knew something was fishy,” Svikari growled, her grip on Henry tightening slightly. “Aesir was just an intern until our old medical chief got killed by impostors. No one thinks he’s cut out for the position, but we don’t have anyone else who’s even remotely qualified.”

Silence overcame them for a few minutes.

“Aesir,” Svikari finally called, a hard edge lining her voice. “Can we talk?”

Aesir stopped in his tracks. He turned to Svikari questioningly. “Hey, boss. What’s up?”

“About that drug you were working on... Have you tested it lately?”

Aesir paused, tapping his foot as he descended into thought. “Hmm... No, I don’t think so. Not since the rats died on me.”

“I see.” Svikari huffed indignantly. If she weren’t holding Henry, she most certainly would be crossing her arms. “So you haven’t used it at all since then?”

“Nope.”

“That’s funny,” she laughed. “Because I’m pretty sure you used it on the human this morning.”

Aesir’s arms and shoulders locked up.

“Am I right?”

“...Did he tell you that?”

“No, I figured it out.”

“Oh.” Aesir looked down at Henry, a faint scowl crossing his face before he turned his attention back to Svikari. “Don’t tell anyone,” he breathed. “Please. I could get fired.”

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Svikari snapped. “You weren’t worried about killing him? God, it’s just like you to pull a stunt like that. You only care about yourself.”

“I–it’s not like that, boss. I promise.”

Svikari groaned, rubbing her face with her free hand. “I won’t tell anyone. But you have to get your act together or I’m bringing this issue to the captain.” Her fingers curled inward, shielding Henry from Aesir’s view. “And until then, I’m revoking your jurisdiction over the human. He’ll be accompanying me from now on.”

“But I—”

“Is that a problem?”

“N–no, ma’am,” Aesir replied shakily. “You’re the boss.”

“Good.” Svikari nodded firmly. “Now, then... let’s finish our tasks before I change my mind.”

Aesir nodded, ducked his head, and continued walking in silence. His footsteps clomped much faster than before, but Svikari continued at her usual slower pace.

“I’ll take care of this, Henry,” she whispered. “Don’t worry.”

Way to make an impossible request. Henry wasn’t just worried—he was terrified. Not only did Aesir try to make him a test subject for his weird new drug, but now he had to face the wrath of the very giant that could have killed him. The only thing standing between himself and Aesir was Svikari, who Henry wasn’t even sure he could trust.

Svikari probably meant well. At least, Henry wanted to believe that. But something was off about her that Henry couldn’t quite pinpoint. The way she carried herself, her odd way of speaking, her constant bouts of silence… She was weird. No one would deny that.

But there was something else. Svikari wasn’t just strange—she was downright creepy. She obviously knew much more than she was letting on, and Henry couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d met her somewhere before. 

And then a thought struck him. 

Henry craned his neck up to look at Svikari’s visor, and through the glass, he could almost spot the outline of two large eyes. “How do you know my name?” he asked. 

“You told me earlier, remember?”

“No, I didn’t. I never told you my name. Neither did Aesir.”

“Oh.” Svikari slowed to a stop. She glanced at Aesir, who was too far ahead to hear them conversing. The giant huffed and lowered her voice, a frantic tinge lining her words. “I’ll… I’ll tell you later.”

“No. Tell me now.” Henry wasn’t sure why he felt so brave all of a sudden; maybe he was fed up with being constantly treated like a child, or maybe he was just experiencing an adrenaline rush. But he felt he had nothing else to lose at this point—Henry wouldn’t be giving up until he got an answer. “What’s your deal?”

“Deal?” Svikari laughed nervously. “I… I don’t have a deal. I’m just Svikari.”

Henry found it a bit strange that Svikari was caving so easily to his interrogation. She had no problem shutting down Aesir, so why was she losing face in front of a human? It made no sense. But Henry was beginning to put puzzle pieces together. Svikari knew Henry’s name. She was invested in keeping him safe. She was able to tell when he was lying. And here she was, her tail tucked between her legs, being verbally grilled by a human being. 

This Svikari person… seemed awfully familiar.

“Are you?” Henry glared daggers at Svikari’s visor. “Because I don’t think you’re telling the truth. Is that even your real name?”

“It’s—!”

 “Tell me the truth!” Henry hollered, throwing his arms to the air in frustration. “I’m tired of being babied! I’m tired of you two hiding things from me! Tell me the truth right now!”

“Okay, okay!” Svikari hissed. “Keep your voice down, alright? I don’t want Aesir listening.”

At that, Henry sobered a bit, tossing a cautious glance at Aesir walking ahead. Luckily, he didn’t seem to have heard anything. “So out with it,” Henry snapped, facing Svikari with a scowl. “What’s going on?”

“...You were onto something when you mentioned my name,” Svikari said slowly, every word hushed and deliberate. “Just so we’re clear—my real name is Svikari. But you wouldn’t know me by that name.”

“You used another name,” Henry finished, the dots finally connecting in his mind. “When you talked to me.”

The giant’s empty hand falling limp at her side. “I… I was hoping we’d get to see each other on peaceful terms, and… I wanted it to be on Earth, to be honest.”

Henry swallowed hard. “You… You’re Sigrid.”

Svikari smiled, trying her best not to look intimidating. “It’s nice to meet you, Henry.”

“This is impossible. I–it can’t be you. You’re a—”

“You fellas good back there?” Aesir called, swivelling his head around to peek at the pair. “Sounds like a real bout you’re having.”

Svikari cleared her throat. Her hands lowered, taking Henry out of her field of vision. “We’re fine. Just keep going.”

Aesir simply shrugged. “Alright.”

The group hooked right when the hallway abruptly ended. They found themselves standing before a small room secluded in the corner of the building. Something akin to grass lined the ground, and a large, towering tree stood proudly in the centre of the room. Embedded in the trunk of the tree was a small monitor, complete with wires looping in and out of the bark. While he couldn’t be certain, Henry wagered that this was the oxygen supply Aesir mentioned, although he didn’t expect the oxygen supply to be a plant of all things. 

“This won’t take long, ma’am,” Aesir stammered as he stepped into the threshold of the room, bending over to peer at the monitor. His face contorted into an expression of disgust. “Yeesh. Who messed with the RAD settings?”

“Beats me,” Svikari hummed.

“Whatever... Hang on, I just gotta fix this mess real quick.” With that, Aesir fell silent, sliding his fingers rapidly along the screen. Svikari simply stood nearby and waited, while Henry fidgeted anxiously. He couldn’t get their earlier conversation out of his head. Svikari’s words—or rather, Sigrid’s words—echoed in his brain, rattling his thoughts around. 

Svikari, meanwhile, was extremely quiet. Henry gazed at her, opening his mouth to ask a question, only to have a giant finger press against his mouth. Shh. 

Henry blinked, a little unnerved by how Svikari was acting, but nodded slowly. Svikari lifted her head and peered at Aesir, who was still focused on the monitor screen. Then, moving as slowly as possible, Svikari knelt down and tilted her hands, sending Henry sliding onto the grass below. 

It took Henry a moment to orient himself. He diligently wiped off the grass that clung to his suit and looked skyward just in time to see Svikari approaching Aesir from behind. The human watched intently as Svikari snuck up on Aesir, a kitchen knife clutched tightly behind her back, wondering what she was up to.

… 

...A kitchen knife?

Before Henry could even think to look again, he was subjected to the sound of a hideous squelch. There was a flash of red, a pained grunt, and suddenly Aesir collapsed to the ground, motionless. 

Svikari loomed ominously over the limp body, her hand still latched onto the knife that she’d plunged into Aesir’s back. Murky blood was beginning to pool at her feet, staining the grass a horrid shade of crimson. And then Svikari’s head pivoted like an owl, boring her gaze into Henry. 

“Don’t scream,” she heaved.

“Y–you—” Henry’s hands flew to his mouth. “You killed him.”

Svikari faced Henry fully. She extended her hands slowly and carefully, taking cautious steps forward as she spoke. “I know. Just… please stay quiet,” she whispered as she drew closer. 

“G–get away from me,” Henry choked, stumbling backwards and throwing his hands up to protect himself. “Please, don’t— d–don’t kill me.”

“Henry!” Svikari suddenly exclaimed, speeding up and making a beeline for Henry. “Be careful, you’re going to—”

Seeing Svikari quickly approaching, Henry made the split-second decision to spin around and bolt. But by the time he noticed the gaping crater in the floor below, it was too late. His foot whizzed through thin air, and with no further fanfare, he tumbled down into the pitch-black abyss. Time froze—a shout echoed from above. 

Then he hit the ground. Hard. 

Something snapped. Henry yowled in agony. He found himself unable to budge without pain coursing through his battered limbs. Tears began welling in his eyes, but he fought the urge to sob—crying would make it hurt even more. Thankfully, his visor was still intact, although the same could not be said for his bones. He simply laid motionless on his stomach, his arms and legs spread out, praying he would just pass out already.

“Oh no.” Svikari’s voice echoed off the crater walls, but Henry couldn’t see where she was standing. Even if the human was able to move his head and look around, the darkness cloaked everything in the vicinity. There was no telling where the giant was, but she was close. “Henry… It’s alright. I’m going to help you.”

“N–no,” Henry hissed, weakly hacking out the taste of copper from his mouth. “Not like this. Please.”

“Stop that. You’re hurting yourself. Please… let me help.”

“But you killed—” Henry couldn’t restrain himself anymore. He began to cry softly, despite how much it hurt him to do so. Every sniffle was excruciating, wracking his body from the inside-out. “You’re an i–imposter, aren’t you? And you’re going to kill me next.”

“No no no, honey… I would never hurt you.” Svikari’s voice was right next to his ear at this point. A huff of hot breath washed over Henry, rustling his hair. Wasn’t Svikari wearing a helmet, though? How could he feel her breath? “Listen… you’ve gotta trust me. I’m going to get you out of here.”

Henry cast a bitter glance to the side, unsure if Svikari was even standing in that direction. “You’re a liar.”

Svikari didn’t grace Henry with a reply. Instead, two long fingers slowly and deliberately dug beneath his stomach and hoisted him into the air. Henry squeezed his eyes shut as he was pressed against Svikari’s chest. Maybe this would be quick and painless. He could only pray at this point.

“Let me think…” Svikari inched her way forward, snaking through the dark underground pathway so as to not jostle Henry too much. In his daze, Henry failed to realize that there was no way Svikari could fit into the crater, let alone move around freely. But the only thing he was focused on was making peace with his life, knowing that he was about to die at the hands of the one he loved more than anyone else. 

Suddenly, Henry was blinded by sunlight. Svikari had begun crawling out of another crater located outside of the building. The holes in the ground seemed to be interconnected. But how did Svikari know that? And where was she planning on taking him? 

Before Henry could voice any of these questions, a deafening alarm sounded from above. He looked up just in time to see a flashing red light next to a speakerphone attached to the roof nearby. “BODY REPORTED,” a voice blared. “ALL PERSONNEL TO THE OFFICE. REPEAT, ALL PERSONNEL TO THE OFFICE.” 

Svikari swore under her breath. She lifted Henry out of the crook of her elbow, quickly swooping him towards a pocket located on her chest. “I’m gonna need you to stay quiet for now, alright?”

Henry’s breath hitched, eyeing the pocket warily as his legs were swallowed by it. “Why do I—”

“Shh.” Svikari cut him off. “Just trust me. I’ll explain everything once I take care of this.” With those ominous words echoing in his head, Henry was once again plunged into darkness, trapped in the front pocket of her spacesuit. 

There was no way this would end well.

***