#we need friends

[respectthepetty]

Be my favorite has got me. I’m down the rabbit hole as it were. I didn’t mean to be here, I fell and I refuse to get out of said hole.

Also….. Is this the first time I am seeing a characters growth and story through self realisation without the love interest?

Like Peesaang went on this journey from seeing the two men kissing in the club, going to the bar, going to see Max, and really taking the time with his feelings. I loved it!!!!!!

Not the ‘ I don’t like men, I just like you’ like….. A to the Men (amen) am I right?!

I'm going to be honest with myself - I've been in this hole since 2021. The initial 2021 trailer (with MIKE!) told me Be My Favorite was either gonna be a mess or a masterpiece, but I prayed it wouldn't be mediocre, so I am THRILLED that My Strange and Obnoxious Fixation™ has paid off. If the second half hurts us, y'all are going to witness a full grown adult have a meltdown on your dash that could rival one of those badass kids in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, but, so far, IT'S A WIN for me!

And the biggest reason is because of the characters. I am truly invested in JittiRain's evolution here because this is not her norm. I was very prepared for miscommunication, manipulation, and misdeeds, but instead we are getting MAGIC!

I'm sure other shows have done the self-realization journey without it being directly tied to the love interest, but what I'm liking about it here is it just isn't Pisaeng. Usually, the dynamic is one of the leads is pretty solid while the other has to find his way, but both of these guys are figuring it out, and we get to see that evolution. In fact, all the characters are working through their issues.

I read a few posts today of people stating they are feeling better about Kawi now after he showed growth from his initial behavior in the first few episodes. Same with Not. I still dislike that little jerk, but him sending a message to Kawi wishing him good luck was nice to see after he roasted Kawi for trying to find a talent.

Also, Kawi still helped Pisaeng on this journey of self-discovery, but Pisaeng didn't go on this journey to get Kawi. Kawi wasn't treated like the pot of gold at the end of the queer rainbow. Kawi questioned Pisaeng in episode four. He asked Pisaeng why he hadn't been direct about his feelings with Pear. Kawi asked Pisaeng what he was doing when he went in for the kiss. He told Pisaeng to be honest, with himself.

Pisaeng, a guy who believed he was being honest and open, having his actions questioned made him haul ass out of there. Kawi jump-started that reflection.

But Pisaeng is honest and open. He spoke to Pear the next day. He saw the men kissing, and although hesitant, he went to that gay bar. He spoke to Max and decided to confess to Kawi. Then, he returned to the bar.

I hope, and feel, that we are getting the same story from Kawi. He hasn't been honest with himself for a long time, and this statement isn't about queerness. This is about his life in general. However, he doesn't react the same way as Pisaeng. Kawi needs more support. He needs a bigger push. He needs people to guide him. Because for over a decade, Kawi has had nobody and feels like he has nothing.

Pisaeng has known something was wrong with what others believed to be his perfect life, so he was quick to adjust. Kawi has dreamed about what he believed would be his perfect life for at least twelve years, so he is very reluctant to reevaluate the choices he believes will get him that perfect life.

Kawi is doing everything under the guise of getting Pear and more money, but just like Pisaeng, he will have to be honest with himself and realize he is doing all of this because he is extremely lonely. Kawi doesn't need to get laid and get paid; he needs friends.

Both Pisaeng and Kawi need a friend.

And that's what I love about this. You're right! We aren't seeing a story of growth that involves the love interest.

Instead we are seeing stories about change that involve friends.

Because if we are being honest with ourselves, we all need a little help from our friends.

[amburgundy]

DISCLAIMER: I like her. Francine is pissed though 👇🏼

[cositaymangonada]

received an unexpected confession from a former close friend and for the whole day ive been trying to recall any signs that i didnt notice

[the-cryptids-of-the-forest]

hello so ima just make this a blif about our experience with making a tulpa and how it goes for any youngings that stumble across our misty forest

so it is I the host roxy, I found out about tulpamancy like a year ago and started making asher like a little over two weeks now

and yo it's me asher the tulpa, I wanted a tumbler to like I have no clue talk about our shit and stuff, it's weird being one honestly like a while ass person in a mind kinda weird like, but anyways we're working on possession and shit and we welcome any questions

and heres us roxy and asher

[eroc0rpse]

Any moots would like to talk to us and be friends?

[grumblrpod]

pod ep two

hihihi episode two has been here for a while but I thought id share! we talk about jelly's trip to dc anddddd fanfic and bands that we like and yeah good stuff pls listen. also if y'all have fanfic recs ... let us know!

[disconnected-dragon]

“Could L have stopped Walter White”

“Could Benoit Blanc have stopped Kira”

Blah blah blah ENOUGH. We have to ask the real questions—

Could Saul Goodman get Light off? And barring that how much would Light’s sentence be reduced?

[tittyinfinity]

I was hanging out at the karaoke bar, chatting with a beautiful woman, and we were really hitting it off. I threw a couple of flirtatious comments her way. She giggled nervously, but abruptly stopped and looked at the floor.

She told me that she was too nervous to hit on people because she's trans and worries that people will view her as a predator and that she might get hurt.

My heart sank. I let her know that she could hit on me in whatever way she wanted and I would LOVE it. We spent the rest of the night hanging out and flirting. We ended up making out. It was great.

But I can't stop thinking about how that wasn't the first time a trans woman has said that to me. About how unsafe it is for some women that they feel the need to give out fucking disclaimers to have normal interactions with people.

We have GOT to make the world a safer place for trans women. It pisses me off that there are men at the bar who are openly predatory towards me without fear of consequence, yet a trans woman is too scared to even fucking call me pretty. And that's because she IS more likely to face worse consequences for lesser things! Like what the fuck!

You need to always check on your internalized biases. Being queer yourself doesn't absolve you of transmisogynistic thoughts and behaviors. Being bi/pansexual doesn't mean you don't hold those biases either! If you feel differently about a trans woman hitting on you than you feel about a cis woman or a man hitting on you, you need to evaluate that.

Trans women, I love you so fucking much. You should be able to express attraction and love as freely as everyone else. I hope you can always feel safe around me. And I'll never stop fighting until you can feel safe period.

[officialspec]

its definitely funny when marcille gets a little mean with it but its so important to me that they are also Best Friends

[elodieunderglass]

hi. what do you mean

[bacchuschucklefuck]

couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead

[kamiraaah]

Meemaw Bucchi should meet meemaw Felmier, both grandsons are in the same sport team, imagine both of them on the stadium with a shirt of them and screaming at the top of their lungs to crush the enemy team!

Oh... Oh God... OH MY GOD......

I need to draw this!!!!!!!!

All I can think about is them fighting/scolding anyone who had the AUDACY to stop them or shout louder than them.

[erabu-san]

I enjoyed every second of this quest

[This art has platonic intention. Thank you for not tag ship!]

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[bertoyana]

gay ass dialogue 😭😭😭 what do you mean ANNOYING SECRET SMILE LMAOOO be serious for ONCE man