#we played some sport at youth group and all i could think about was keeping my clothes adequately covering me and not getting hurt

[eldritch-immunity]

Is the fact that I can't watch people do anything without wondering "how are their pants staying up" bad

[jessethegoat]

Jesse's first article of WC 2022

it's really interesting to read, so I put it below (Athletic does have awesome articles about football and do subscribe if you can ❤️). Also his thought about Pulisic is very interesting.

I had the perfect seat. Upper deck, front row.

All around me at the sold-out Meadowlands there were people in soccer jerseys. They were singing songs and chanting. I felt like I was in Europe. I was a college student at Princeton University in 1994 when the World Cup came to the U.S. and I remember going to the hotel to pick up my tickets for the semi-final from a Princeton alum, Charlie Stillitano. The whole Italian team was sitting in the lobby drinking espressos, of course. Maldini. Costacurta. Albertini. Baggio.

These guys were my heroes. My coach at Princeton, Bob Bradley, had basically modelled us to play like AC Milan. I knew those Italian players inside and out. And then to be in the stadium watching them play against Hristo Stoitchkov and Bulgaria, to see the fanfare. It was eye-opening for me. It was exciting, the possibility of having that kind of soccer culture back home. We absolutely needed that 1994 World Cup in our country to give our sport a chance. The fact so many people were so excited about it gave us the idea that a league could be successful. It made us dream — even if I never could’ve imagined I’d be team-mates with Stoitchkov just a few years later.

This U.S. men’s national team gives me that same feeling. Inside the business of professional soccer in the U.S., the World Cup has always been a litmus test of where we are in our development of the sport in our country. Outside of the business, for the fans and the public, it’s more about the momentum and overall outlook of the sport. It’s about the potential of where we can go.

When you’re there at the World Cup, you can miss some of that big picture. I remember when Landon Donovan scored that goal against Algeria in South Africa in 2010. In the locker room, we were pumped. I remember the power and excitement of winning the group. Of mentally getting ready for the next match. But the movement back home that it created? We didn’t anticipate that. And then we saw the videos coming out of all of these celebrations in the bars back home.

That’s what the World Cup is about.

And this U.S. team has a chance to be inspiring again. That’s the best thing that can happen for our sport. How the team plays, the tactics, the performance? That’s the litmus test. But we need that momentum. We need a team that’s inspiring.

Certainly one of the talking points around the U.S. team in Qatar is that only one player on the squad (DeAndre Yedlin) has been to the World Cup. It’s a young group that doesn’t know anything about the tournament — what the rhythm is like, the pressure. They’ve played in the youth tournaments, but now they’re on the big stage. I’ve seen some of the quotes from some of the guys this week saying it hasn’t really even sunk in yet that they’re at the World Cup because I think for all of them it’s been a dream.

I know inexperience will be a factor, but I give big credit to U.S. Soccer and to Gregg Berhalter because it would have been easy to keep veteran guys such as Michael Bradley, Brad Guzan and others, players that were and are still very good players, and feel the security of: “They’ve been there. They know what it takes. They’re going to help lead us into the new phase with these young players.” But Gregg and the federation committed entirely to young players and now when you look at it, of course achieving qualification was a must given the fact we missed out in 2018, but if this group can do well in this tournament, you can use it as a springboard for 2026. It was really well done and really well thought-out and it gives us a chance to be better in 2026.

And youth doesn’t have to be a detriment.

One thing for sure is that over the years fearlessness has been the American identity. I think of the 2002 team that went to the quarter-finals; that was a big part of it. They played with total reckless abandonment and belief. That was certainly part of it for us in 2010, when you think about how we fought and battled back in games against England and Slovenia. And of course that late goal against Algeria. There is this identity of fearlessness and belief in U.S. teams, and soon we will see that in this group. They’re too young to be afraid. Too young to know any better.

And then we will see if it can be matched with clarity — in terms of roles, tactics and intensity. That’s the recipe for success in all the games, and certainly against England.

Planning out how to play in a World Cup is not easy. If I’m the manager, I’m asking myself, “All right, based on the opponent and what the games are going to require, what is necessary in the team?” We did this a lot in 2010. We looked at each game, knowing that we were going to have to have some rotation and use our entire squad the right way. We tried to predict what each game was going to look like and then which players would fit the idea of what the game was, what our match plan was going to be and what the match-ups were going to be on the day.

We would have four-hour conversations about two positions. We’d debate options for scenarios: if the game is tight, if we need a goal, if we make formation changes.

Obviously, there are players who are going to play in every game. Christian Pulisic and Tyler Adams fit that category. But then you start to analyze things like: is Tim Ream the right guy for a counter-attacking team like Wales? Or is he a little bit better against England, where he knows the team, he knows all of those players and can sit a little bit deeper? He’s clever in the box defending, and then with the ball, he can make good decisions.

In 2010, in four games we wound up using everyone other than Jonathan Spector — 19 of 20 field players. And I think that’s one of the keys: figuring out how to use the arsenal of players you have. I hate talking about football and tactics like it’s a chess match, but sometimes you’re trying to analyze game by game by game. What do you expect each opponent to look like? And who are the best players to use to maximize your potential in that match?

It’s why Ream is a good match for Aaron Long on the roster. Facing Tim in the Premier League, you see he has really developed an intelligence on the pitch, a savviness and an understanding of games. Tim is incredibly good with the ball, but it’s not just that his technical ability is good, it’s that he’s a good decision-maker. When you watch him play week in and week out in the Premier League, he doesn’t make many mistakes because he’s a very intelligent player. He plays to his strengths and he’s good at that. Long has a bigger arsenal to draw on in terms of qualities and athleticism, but he doesn’t have the experience that Tim has. Now you have one player that has a little bit more athleticism and you have one player with a little bit more experience. And the balance of those two could be good.

Walker Zimmerman could be good if the game is requiring two center backs that are gonna have to defend in the box and deal with a lot of crosses and manage a lot of tight spaces and some shots and one-v-ones on the outside of the box. These are some of the decisions Gregg and his staff are going to have to make as they plan out the group.

Against Wales, the U.S. is going to see a team that sits in a low block and looks to hit them in transition with players like Daniel James and Gareth Bale. It will likely be similar against Iran. I always say the reason teams play with a low block is that it’s hard to break down. People like to criticize you when you can’t break those teams down, but when they have a low block, that’s the strategy, right? At Leeds, one of the things that we always talk about against teams like this is finishing plays with shots. We want to finish, obviously, with goals, but we say we want to finish plays with shots on frame because that’s another way to create more corners and more set-piece plays. Those can be the difference in these types of games.

Defensively, when those types of teams have a goal kick or the goalkeeper has the ball in his hands, it’s about coming a little bit deeper and inviting your opponent to try to play more. Some teams won’t bite and they go direct, then you have to be good in second-ball situations. Because at that point, if they push forward and go direct and you’re good in second-ball situations, you have created more space behind the opponent where then you can create quick combinations in midfield and look to play more vertically behind them.

One of the most important strategies, for me, when you’re playing a low block is actually losing the balls in certain areas for counter-pressing, so you can win the ball back and create chances. You have to be good at counter-pressing. Incredibly good.

You also have to be good at rest defense, which is marking the opponents while you are in possession. It is crucial to be disciplined in making sure that their players are not standing free, because the tighter you are when you lose the ball, the less you give them room to get out on the run. It requires an acute awareness that every time you lose the ball, you need complete commitment from every player to make sure that you’re running back, that you’re counter-pressing, that you’re smart about fouls, that you do not allow the team to play into the exact strategy that they want. And you have to be aware of the strategy of the opponent the entire match and understand their strengths and eliminate those possibilities.

Even on attacking set pieces, you often have to literally man-mark their transition players because a lot of times these teams want to be effective off defensive set pieces. When I’ve played Liverpool over the years, I’ve man-marked Mohamed Salah on our corner kicks. You get your fastest, most-disciplined players in those roles. You need guys that take pride in that. It’s one of the beauties of Tyler Adams. He takes pride in not allowing his defensive responsibilities to slip. And you need players that are committed to that — that are disciplined, focused, concentrated on exactly those strategies.

All of these things require a very clean and clear tactical awareness of the entire group at all times, and very clear roles on the day for what’s necessary. When you do that well, you can completely dominate the match. If you’re too loose and your awareness is not good enough, then you can look very vulnerable.

England will obviously be a match where they have the ball a little bit more, which could be good for the U.S. This is one of the things with Leeds, too. We like playing against opponents that want the ball because we’re fast, we have athleticism, we like to press, we like to play with intensity. This U.S. player pool can run. They’re young, they’re fit and they have some talent. And most of them, most importantly, are built with fearlessness. A lot of the guys are playing now in the Premier League or in the Champions League week-in and week-out. These guys know what the level of a game like that is. I think if they can be organized against the ball and in pressing, and if they can be good in set-piece situations, defensive and attacking, that will give them the best chance to get a result in that match.

The forward situation is the trickiest for the U.S., especially in a tournament like this. Berhalter likes to overload the wings and create crossing situations, and to do that you need somebody in the middle who can finish, who runs hard in the box, who knows to find space. In the games in CONCACAF when the U.S. have had a lot of possession and have been able to push teams back, they’ve been able to create chances more from that inverted winger position coming inside and creating combinations and scoring goals that way. But against better competition, I think the two ways that they’ll be looking to score will be from crossing and from transition.

Wales have some really good center backs who are strong defending in the box, and so you have to try to find overloads — creating numerical advantages in specific areas of the field — in order to get into the box.

That’s what will be important for me, whether it’s against Wales or Iran, is that we don’t just look like a bunch of attacking players standing outside the box, that we’re putting pressure on them by putting numbers inside the box. By attacking crosses, flat crosses, by creating combinations in the box, by trying to go one-v-one and get penalties. Those things will be vital and good things to watch for in those matches.

It all comes back to one idea: how can you be really dangerous to score goals? For the U.S. in this World Cup, that will be the big question: where are the goals coming from?

Maybe the answer is a simple one: Pulisic.

One of the most difficult things for me is I don’t know Christian well enough. A big part of uncovering the potential of players is uncovering the potential of the people. You have to get to know players to really unearth the potential of their personality, within what their qualities are as a player. And that’s often the fun for me of being a coach. A lot of times with me it’s young players, but that’s not always the case.

We have Rodrigo at Leeds, and he’s 31 and I’ve even had a conversation with him at one point and said it’s too bad I didn’t know him when he was 18 because I could have helped make him one of the best players in the world — I truly believe that. But in the process at Leeds, we’re still uncovering new potentials for him and he’s committed and adapted incredibly well. But to do that I’ve had to really get to know Rodrigo as a person and what makes him tick. What are his vulnerabilities? What are his insecurities? What things make him stronger? What are the things he likes?

With Christian, I don’t know him well enough, and I’ve said in the past that I would love to get to know him more because I can see that there’s so much potential there. But I often wonder how to tap into it, truly.

If we look at what Christian can bring to the U.S. at this World Cup, from a purely tactical perspective, he’s best in space. So in transition moments and when he can be on the run and use his combination of agility and speed and technical ability, that’s when he’s able to be at his best. That feeds more into the games where the U.S. are able to be a little bit more in pressing phases and are in more transition phases. We could see more of that in the England game.

The key, though, is that Christian has also got to find ways to be dynamic running off the ball in the box, not just being satisfied with wanting to get the ball wide in spaces. What I like to say to attacking players in those situations is that our good players can handle the ball in wide spaces — on the wing or in deeper spaces in the midfield. Our best players need to put themselves in dangerous spots that the other players aren’t as good in. And so that involves being more in and around the box, being in and around the center backs and using your cleverness and ability in tight spaces, using your quick first step and then obviously your finishing ability. If Pulisic can do that, the U.S. will be far more dangerous.

In just a few days, we’ll see which way it goes, but as I think about that first game, I keep coming back to that feeling I had way back in 1994 at the Meadowlands. That feeling of the potential that is there for the sport in our country.

They won’t want to talk about it right now, but in reality, this World Cup is a stepping stone for the team going into 2026. We all want to see the team do really well now, but everyone back home is looking at 2026 and imagining what this can really become when the World Cup comes back to the U.S.

It’s a foolish thing to even say out loud, but can we be contenders at home? To even say that out loud is ridiculous. But we do think this is a golden generation of players. We do think that — on pure potential — this is the best group we’ve ever had. So can they develop and grow in a way where, in three and a half years, they can be talked about as semi-finalists? Finalists?

That is the hope of what 2026 can mean.

Inside the business and outside it, too.

[study-with-aura]

August 17, 2022

*scheduled post*

I most likely won't have time to post Wednesday because of my schedule, so I thought I would write a list of tips that I have learned during my time being homeschooled from 1st to now 8th grade. Not only have these things helped with keeping a positive outlook when the day or week gets difficult, but they have allowed me to be successful thus far in my schooling and in all of my extracurricular activities.

My Guide for Homeschooling Successfully:

Set a routine. Routines help to plan out the day and make sure that things that need to get done can get done. But be flexible. The routine doesn't have to be set in stone. Plan out when schooling will take place and schedule other activities around it.

Get dressed. One thing my mom instilled in my brother and me when we began homeschooling was that we could not attend school in our pajamas unless we were having a special pajama day. Because we school on certain holidays that public schools are out, we usually use those as pajama days. Getting dressed and ready for the day helps with putting me in a positive mindset and can be great for mental health!

Get involved. There's a crazy myth about homeschoolers that we're secluded away from the rest of the world because we don't attend a regular school. I can say that this myth is nearly 100% false. There are homeschool clubs in many areas. Our library even offers STEAM classes once a week for homeschoolers and a nearby nature center also has special classes geared specifically for homeschooled students. There are sports clubs one can get involved in at a local recreation center like the YMCA or maybe dance classes like I'm in. There are even scouting troops or church youth group gatherings. Socializing is important for all humans as we have a need for connection, and there are many ways to stay connected and build useful skills like leadership, teamwork, and cooperation.

Take on a hobby. Hobbies are great for anyone to have, and they can also help with learning. Who says learning has to be boring? One of my hobbies is video gaming. I've watched my brother play his video games since I was young, and I recently in the past couple of years started video gaming with him as well. While you might think, "what can one learn from a video game?", in truth, there's a lot that can be gained. For one, it helps with determination and perseverance. If I can't defeat a boss, I don't give up. I find out what I need to do by fighting it over and over again until I finally defeat it. I also learn strategy. Some games I play require logic and strategizing in order to succeed. This can help with thinking creatively. I recently started playing an MMORPG with my brother, and I joined his guild. The guild runs dungeons together and this requires group coordination and effort and the ability to work together respectfully as a team.

Set up a dedicated workspace. It's important to have a dedicated workspace for schooling. My brother and I have a study room that we solely use for our schoolwork. Some of our friends have spaces set up in their main living room or outside the kitchen. This dedicated workspace can help the brain know that it's time to focus. It's similar to how people say not to have the television or computer in the bedroom. The bedroom is meant for sleeping, and we want our brains to recognize that it's time for bed, not entertainment. Having a dedicated workspace also means that all the supplies should be located within reach instead of having to move around a lot to get anything that's needed. My brother and I each have our own desk on opposite sides of the room. My desk has my gel pens, highlighters, pencils, my binder that I put all my schoolwork in, coloring utensils like crayons and markers plus other art supplies in one of the drawers, scissors, glue sticks, and extra notebooks and composition books. We also have a central printer in the room which is great because I prefer to print off my work as I go instead of all at once.

Ask for help. My brother and I teach ourselves by following a curriculum, but sometimes I may not understand a concept no matter how many times I look over the examples or watch videos. Because my brother is four years older than me, he's a great resource to help explain things in a way that may make it easier for me to understand. But my parents always help too. If I have questions about a writing assignment or a presentation I have to put together, they're always there to reassure me and help walk me through the parts I can't figure out on my own. There's nothing wrong with reaching out for assistance when necessary, but I always try to solve the problem on my own first and never wait until the last minute. The moment I realize that something isn't working no matter what I try, I ask for help.

Take charge of your own education. The great thing about homeschooling is that even though I'm following a set curriculum, I have the option of diving into topics more deeply because I set my own pace with my learning. Right now, I'm reading an optional book for Modern History because I was curious to learn more about George Washington Carver's life after reading a short biography. The other great part about homeschooling is schooling in the field! Yes, that means field trips! We schedule trips to the local art and science museums as well as going to the local parks to immerse in nature. This allows me to apply what I'm learning to real life scenarios or to study certain topics through primary sources.

Take breaks. During the time I do my school work, I typically take about three to four breaks. My brother and I take an hour or so break to fix and eat lunch, and I like to also take a break after finishing any difficult lesson. Usually about halfway through my schoolwork, I will take a walking break. I like to go outside and walk for about 10 minutes before coming back in and finishing up my core schoolwork for the day. After I complete my main schoolwork, I'll take another short break before I start any of my supplemental learning such as Khan Academy, Duolingo, or my extra daily reading. Breaks allow for information that I learned during the previous study session to have time to process. I find that if I jump from one subject to the next without giving my brain time to process any new information, I can't recall it as well when it comes up again. This is another reason I like to meditate when I finish my main schoolwork. It allows my mind time to actively rest and re-center before going into my supplemental study sessions.

Set goals. Goalsetting is very important! I like to set goals by quarter, which for me is about 45 days of schooling. While I like to set overarching goals, it's also good to set a goal for each course. On top of academic goals, I have personal goals that my planner refers to as character/spiritual goals, and other goals that don't fit cleanly into either section. Character/spiritual goals can be things like meditating, taking on a leadership position in a group that one's involved in, or volunteering for so many hours a quarter or semester. For other goals, I put financial literacy goals, such as creating my first budget. This complements my computer course since I'm learning Excel this year. I also put goals about video gaming on there, so I spend less time on my video games of the weekend and more time with my family or taking on a new hobby. Make sure that the goals being set are SMART goals. This means that they are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-based.

Have fun! I think it can be easy to get overwhelmed at times, but remember that homeschooling is whatever one makes it out to be. There's no one right way to homeschool. Find what works best and go for it.

Have a great year!

[mzminola]

Community

Straight and cisgender people being part of the broader queer community is good in a variety of ways, and the example from my own life is growing up queer in a small town with parents who were supportive before either they or I knew I was queer.

My mom and dad grew up in Berkeley CA and were involved through their youths in a variety of extremely nerdy things like the Society of Creative Anachronism, Dungeons & Dragons (and a Star Trek inspired sci-fi variation), theater, etc. Within those groups, and other parts of their lives, they had a lot of queer friends.

They moved around a lot as adults, and this was the pre-internet era so staying in touch was harder, and even when they stayed in touch they didn’t necessarily see people in person much. I wound up growing up in a small liberal town in western WA. Statistically, due to the small population, I just did not know any out queer adults in my hometown when I was growing up. There was no GSA at the school, either.

But for years I had stories of queer adults, long before I ever knew I needed them. I never once worried my parents wouldn’t accept my bisexuality, because I was so very used to my parents talking about queer friends of theirs who were giant nerds, with the exact same fondness and nostalgia as all their other friends. Stories of queer-specific shenanigans were told alongside all the other shenanigans.

We had semaphore flags in the costume playtime box because Dad’s a nautical history nerd, and we had big motorcycle goggles designed to fit over chunky glasses because Mom used to catch rides around the Bay Area with lesbian biker friends. That blend and casualness was just a normal part of my childhood.

~

I learned from stories of my parents’ friends that you could take stereotypes and turn them into in-jokes; gay friends playing backyard baseball or catch or other sports totally flubbing a throw, and heckling each other with “What’s the matter honey, your wrists too limp?”

~

I learned about the AIDS epidemic, of the loss, the grief, the stigma, and of the ways people fought back. Supported each other. I learned a lot more when I was older from queer adult survivors of the epidemic online, but I learned first from my parents, who were still grieving friends they lost.

This was not distant history, this was not something that happened to “other people” this was something that happened to their community.

~

My father’s mother’s brother is gay. My great uncle. He raises tropical birds. When he was a much younger man than he is now, the signaling style of wearing a diamond earring in one ear was starting. Now, at the time, most men to wear a diamond earring as a signal of their sexuality wore very small, discreet flecks. Just this little flash of light that might catch your eye, that might make you look again.

Great Uncle inherited his mother’s engagement ring, took that honking big “look at me and admire how I got engaged! Look at me, look at me!” diamond to the jeweler, and got that sucker turned into an earring. You could not fucking miss it.

And you know what? That’s how I learned about queer signaling as a thing people could do, it was presented as a fun family story, and I wouldn’t have heard it if not for my parents, because Great Uncle lives in a completely different part of the country from us and doesn’t travel much, so I’ve only met him twice, during which everyone was catching up on current life, not stories of his youth.

~

When my mom, dad, and their friends were all young adults who’d recently left home and were living in a different state from their families, one of their friends was a butch gay man who’d recently come out to his parents. And his mom wanted to be supportive, and she was a person who sewed clothes herself. So she made him shirts. She had his measurements, and she’d regularly mail him care packages with beautifully hand-made button up shirts in pink and purple fabrics. Because those were the gay colors at the time, and she wanted to make sure he knew she supported everything about him, that she would never want him to change himself to fit in society’s mold.

Now the thing was, pink and purple were not actually to his taste. They were not colors he’d normally pick out for himself. But he and his parents didn't live in the same state anymore, this was pre-Internet, if you wanted to share photos you had to take them, develop the film, and mail them. So she wasn’t seeing his style regularly, she was seeing the style of the out gay men back in the Bay Area, and doing her best.

He wore the shirts. He was running around the Oregon countryside as a butch gay man in the early 1980’s in pink and purple button ups, because his mom made them for him with love, he loved her too.

So I heard this story growing up, and I learned from it. I learned parents could love and wholly support their queer children long before I ever heard about parents who rejected theirs. I learned love is in the actions we take. That it’s going to be imperfect, but what matters is we’re trying our best, and accepting that from each other.

~

I’m bisexual, and I’ve got some weird gender stuff going on. I did not know any out queer adults in my hometown growing up. I did not find any writings until the early 2000’s when the Internet became more accessible. My school did not have a GSA.

But I knew I wasn’t alone. I knew pieces of west coast queer culture and history. I knew queer people could be giant nerds, could be outdoorsy, could be silly and serious and fully rounded people with rich, wonderful lives. That their friends and family could accept them wholly without hesitation. Because what was there to hesitate over?

I’ve said before my hometown is liberal, and it is, but it still had enough prejudice to keep me semi-closeted as a teen. I had peers insist to me that “a child needs a mother and a father”, had adults insist civil unions were fine but marriage equality would violate religious freedoms, heard peers use “gay” as an insult from late elementary school onwards (and the teachers just ignoring it).

I needed all those stories from my childhood. I needed them. And I had them. Without ever having to ask.

And my brother had them too. He’s straight and cisgender, and he has never been anything but 100% supportive of me. He was arguing for equal rights and refusing to use the derogatory language peers were before I ever came out to him.

When I see people trying to gatekeep the queer community, this is what I think of. I think of being a kid in a small town, without knowing any local out queer adults, hearing people around me say bigoted things, but having all these stories burning in the hearth of my heart, and I think…

You want to douse that flame?

You want to reach back in time and wrench those stories from the child I was?

You’d rather I grow up isolated, confused, lonely, and scared, than have my straight, cisgender parents in the queer community? You want me to be isolated now, you want my brother to abandon me?

Really?

Identity and community are intertwined, but they are not rigid, nor should they be.

Community being broader is good.

[crossdreamers]

What can explain Caitlyn Jenner’s descent into transphobic politics?

Caitlyn Jenner, trangender sports and reality TV star, has not said much about what she want to do if she gets elected as the Governor of California. The only political statements she has made so far is that she wants to keep trans girls out of girl’s sports. 

You read that right. In a short interview with TMZ (embedded below) she even refers to trans girls as “biological boys”. This transgender woman wants to be elected on a transphobic policy.  

This is sickening, I know, and her statements represents a true betrayal of all the transgender youth out there who want to use sports  as a place for personal growth – like she did, a long time ago.

How can Jenner betray trans people in this way?

The question remains, though. How is this even possible? 

I mean, we all know Jenner made some strange statements after she transitioned, but she has talked to a lot of trans women and trans men, so you would think she has learned a bit or two about the culture that creates transphobia. 

She should be able to see through the tactics used by those who want to use trans kids as cultural scape goats in the struggle for traditionalist supremacy.

But no.

The power of the tribe

I cannot read her mind, but I have a few ideas as to what this is about. 

I have lost a couple of trans friends who could not and would not abandon their right wing “tribe,” even as it became abundantly clear that the Republican Party in the US had weaponized transphobia in their so-called “culture war”.

It turned out that the strong traditionalist beliefs of my friends, and their fear of an open society, were stronger than their desire to protect transgender lives. 

One of them went as far as telling me that she would rather sacrifice transgender rights than support anti-racist and pluralist policies. For her  European  “Christian” civilization was under attack, so she had to support those who defended this imaginary culture of hers, even if these persons where both homophobic and transphobic. 

She had grown up with these values. Her friends most likely shared these values. Her family believed in them. To abandon them would mean to admit that she had been wrong all her life. She could not. She was stuck.

American Conservatism is no longer Conservative

I do not think Jenner shares my ex-friends beliefs about the end of Western Civilization, but it seems that she, like my ex-friends, is unable to understand how an oppressive system uses scapegoats (like radical women, Jews, black activists, immigrants, Muslims and trans people) to mobilize the fear of those who seek safety and comfort in “traditional values” and the status quo. 

It might very well be that Jenner thinks that her opposition to trans girls in sports is a rational standpoint. It is not, but she may think so.

That is exactly how an oppressive system works: It even gets the oppressed to take part in the oppression, by appealing to a kind  “common sense” that might be common, but very seldom sensible. Remember that the biggest opponents to voting rights for women were conservative women. 

Jenner grew up in a world where free market liberalism  (understood as Conservatism at the time) stood up against left wing Liberalism and Socialism. This dichotomy no longer describes the real cultural battles in America, as I see them. The Republican Party is no longer a Conservative party in the traditional sense. It is – at best – a radical populist party, and – at worst – a channel for totalitarian fascism. 

But Jenner clearly thinks that there must even now be room for a “normal” Conservative in the party.

Playing the game

In order to get the MAGA-people to vote for her she needs to play the game of contemporary Republican politics, and that game requires her to sacrifice trans kids on the altar of electability. She is selling her soul for a prize she cannot possibly win. 

Keep in mind that last year she supported trans participation in youth sports.

This game was over at the time she came out as trans. The Trumpists and the white, right wing Evangelicals will never vote for a trans woman, because for them transgender people have become signs of the world their fear: A world where everyone is allowed to explore their own identities, find their own way and contribute to the world on the basis of their real  abilities, and not by living up to the stereotypes of the past.

Jenner’s campaign for becoming governor will cost her most of her friends. Trans people will have nothing to do with her, and the right wing she tries to woo, will despise her regardless of much she tries to please them. What a sad, sad story!

Is it possible to be Conservative and pro-trans?

Some of my friends have asked me if it is possible to be politically Conservative and pro-transgender. 

Yes, it is. I live in a country (Norway) where the Conservative Party is pro-LGBTQA. It has introduced legislation that helps and protects trans people. This kind of Conservatism respects the freedom the individual should have to be able go their own ways, and it believes in a social welfare policy that protects vulnerable groups. 

The same applies to religion. Most of my Christian friends support trans people, as they see that support as a natural consequence of a gospel of love for all.

But again: The Republican Party in the US is no longer a Conservative party of this sorts. And it is hard to recognize Jesus in the things the white, right wing, American  Evangelicals say these days. The balance between compassion and bigotry has tilted over. The compromise Jenner is looking for is no longer possible in the US.

Sorry, Caitlyn: The best thing you can do now is to abandon the campaign and admit that you were wrong!

See also: West Virginia Governor unable to give one example of a transgender person gaining an unfair athletic advantage

[erzaguin]

Huntmira Week 2021 Day 4: Human AU

“Hey you’re the new transfer student right? My name is Amity and as your class rep I’ll be giving you a tour of the school. Follow me and don’t fall behind. We have a schedule to keep and we are already running late.” said the cotton candy haired girl as she started walking briskly away. “Come on I wasn’t kidding I will leave you behind if you don’t hurry.” 

“Alright so you already know where the office is. If you get in any trouble this is where they’ll bring you. Down that hallway over there is the school library which you have access to at any time during school hours. Come on, we're already running behind schedule so we don’t have time to see it.” she stated as she continued walking forward at a fast pace.

“Now the school is essentially divided into four parts each of which is assigned to a different grade level. Essentially it is meant to give students more time in between classes so they can get whatever materials they need from their lockers. Speaking of which, this one is yours.” she noted as she came to a sudden stop. “The number and the combination are on the welcome packet you received at the front desk. As you may have assumed already this is the freshman hallway apart from electives all of your other classes will  be here. Any questions? No? Good. Let’s keep moving.” without so much as a pause she turned on her heels and started moving at the same brisk pace.

“The hallway to your left leads to the juniors hall and the sophomore hall was the first hallway to your left when you entered the school. As for the senior hall that would be the separate building at the back of the school. The cafeteria is right at the center of the school and it also doubles as a social area. And this is the gym.” she stated as they reached a large oval shaped building separated from the rest of the school. “Hopefully nobody notices we are late” grumbled Amity under her breath as she opened the door. 

As soon as the door opened a roar of cheers washed over the pair as they entered the building. The gymnasium was filled with the entirety of the student body who appeared to be completely enthralled by whatever the captain of the girl’s basketball team was saying. She along with the rest of the basketball team were standing at the center of the gym with the school principal standing a few feet to the side beaming with pride. 

Amity ignored them completely as she tried to make out where her friends were in the stands. Without saying a word she tugged on the transfer student’s sleeve to get them to follow her. 

“Hey Amity, you made it. Oh is this the new transfer student” whispered Willow as Amity took the empty seat behind her. “Yeah sorry we’re late I had to give them a quick tour before coming here.” grumbled Amity as she thought about how late they were. 

“Oh don’t mind Amity she can be a bit grumpy in the mornings . . . and afternoons. I’m Willow by the way” she said in a cheery voice. “I’m Gus! Your family just moved to Gravesfield right? said the young man sitting next to Willow. “You’re going to need someone to give you a run down of what you need to know abouts Gravesfield. But never fear Gus is here.” Boasted the youth before proceeding to give the transfer student a rundown. 

“The first thing to know is that Gravesfield athletes are mini celebrities in town. If there is one thing Gravesfield High is known for it would be our sports teams. And because there is only one high school everyone in town gets pretty into it.” explained Gus with excitement but before he could continue the school principal called for everyone's attention the gymnasium became quiet.

“Now that we have heard from our athletes who will be representing our school out in the field it is time to hear from our student council.”exclaimed principal Bump as a small group of students made their way to the center of the gymnasium. 

Rather than applauding the student body stayed quiet as the youths continued to make their way to the center. There were only three of them but their presence  alone commanded the attention of every individual in the gymnasium. 

“Oh boy” mumbled Amity too herself as she saw her two siblings take center stage along with their best friend hunter. 

The three stood in a line facing the other students with Hunter in the middle with Edrick to his left and Emira to his right. The tension in the gymnasium had started to increase when without raising his voice Edric said “Hey” giving the students a sly smile. Without any warning the entire gym burst into a cacophony of cheers. Which only intensified when Emira gave them a wink.

“They really are popular aren’t days,” noted Willow as she looked at Amity who was trying to shrink into herself from embarrassment. 

“This must be really weird for you to see huh?” shouted Gus  over the crowd to the transfer student. “ Yeah, if the athletes are celebrities then the members of the student council are royalty.” said Gus before pausing for dramatic effect.

“The twins are Edric and Emira Blight. Edric is the treasurer and Emira is the vice president. They are on the top of their class, always the leads in any school play, and probably the most charismatic people you’ll ever meet. Also if that name sounds familiar it’s because more than likely your parents bought your new home from their mom Odalia Blight. She is the most well known real estate agent in the area. Not only that but their family also owns a security company.You might have seen some homes with a sign that says “protected by Blight security." 

"Some? Don't you mean all? Every building in Gravesfield uses Blight security. And aren't you forgetting one very important Blight?" Added Willow as she nudged her head towards Amity.

"Oh right Amity is also a Blight and she has the top spot in the freshman class she's als…"  

"That's ok no need for my resume " Interrupted Amity with a face that shows equal amounts of annoyance and embarrassment. 

"Suit yourself " shrugged Gus. "Anyway the blond guy between the twins is the school president Hunter Wittebane. If he looks familiar it's because he's on all the promotional posters with his uncle Mayor Belos. He is the most influential man in Gravesfield and Hunter will definitely follow in his uncle's footsteps. He is the captain of all the boys sports teams as well as the debate club, book club, and history club. Honestly he’s a very intimidating guy if you think about it.” mused Gus. 

“You know there’s a lot of rumors of how he became school president during his freshman year. They don’t normally allow freshmen to run.” puzzled Willow not asking anyone in particular but was loud enough for other students to hear and joined in the conversation. 

“I heard his uncle threaten the school” said a girl sitting in the row under theirs. 

“I heard the twins charmed the school principal to let him run,” said the girl next to her. 

“I heard a rumor that people added his name to the ballot when they heard he was dating one of the twins.” said a boy from somewhere above them. 

“I heard he was dating both” shouted someone else from a distance. 

“Silence,” a commanding voice rang through the gymnasium as all the students fell quiet. Hunter had stepped up to the mic and was now scowling the students in front of him. 

“Thank you,” he said in an almost gloating tone with a smug smile on his face. 

“It's good to see that everyone is so excited about school.” whispered Emira giving Hunter a sly smile causing him to roll his eyes. 

“As you all know we are the current members of the student council. We are here to let you know elections will be coming up soon and we encourage anyone interested to go run for a position in the student council. Just know that we will also be running to keep our positions. Now if you excuse us we have work to do.” boasted Hunter before turning on his heels and making his way out of the gym.

The twins waved goodbye to the crowd causing the gymnasium to erupt into a fit of cheers which could be heard even after they had left the gymnasium. 

"Do you two always have to be so extra?" Mumbled Hunter as he walked down the hallway. 

"Oh don’t be like that Hunny" said Edric as he put an arm around Hunter and gave him a flirtatious smile.

"Yeah it's not our fault that the crowd loves us." chimed in Emira as she clinged to Hunter’s arm.

“Yeah right and don’t call me Hunny” scoffed Hunter who by now should be used to the twins' shenanigans but they always found new ways to annoy him. 

Both twins let go of Hunter at the same time and let out a gasp as they feigned being shocked. “But you used to love us calling you Hunny” Groaned Edric while pretending to cover some tears. 

“Our little Hunny is growing up. He's embarrassed of us now.” said Emira as she mimiqued her brother’s reaction.  

Hunter let out a long sigh as he looked at his best friends pretending to cry. Even knowing there were no tears there he just could not bear the thought of upsetting them. These two had been his best friends, his only real friends since pre school. Because his uncle was such a powerful and influential man many people tried approaching Hunter as a means of getting close to his uncle. He understood that the twins felt the same because of how often people approached them for their families business connections and wealth. Then there were those who were too scared to approach any of them because they found them intimidating or just out of reach. 

They had never cared about who his uncle was just as he did not care about their families business.  He just couldn’t imagine what his life would be like if they hadn't approached him on their first day of pre-school.

The twins had stopped pretending to cry once they saw the expression on Hunter’s face. “Hey you ok?” asked Emira, genuinely concerned as she approached Hunter.

“If it bothers you that much we’ll stop” sniffled Edric as real tears were threatening to break through. 

Hunter looked at the pair and could not help himself from smiling appone seeing their grief stricken faces. These were his favorite people in the world just as they were the most annoying.

 “I hate you guys.” said Hunter with a smirk. 

To this both twins lit up and latched on to either one of his arms as they continued walking down the hallway before saying in  unison “Aww we love you too Hunny.”  

“Stop calling me that” demanded Hunter as he let himself be pulled away by the two.

[jokertrap-ran]

(光与夜之恋 Light and Night) Main Story Chapter 1-12: 命运的拐点 Destiny’s Turning Point Translation

“Destiny is like a gust of wind… Red leaves flutter, flying away in the face of it.  And it is when the winds pick up ― That you meet once more…”

“I think fashion has no bounds, so you do you, anything goes.”

*Light and Night Master-list *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Join the Light & Night Discord (＾▽＾)~ ♪ *Main story tag will be #For Light and Night

The night of the Warson Prize Finals arrived in a blink of an eye.

All contestants were in a race against time to complete their final adjustments. It was the epitome of the peak of nervousness and high morale.

The sound that denoted the start of the contest sounded. Everyone placed everything they were doing back down, watching with relief as the fashion choreographer took away the works before them. The competition of art and fashion was about to start shortly.

❖☆———————————★❖

Dun dun dun~

Upbeat music played as lights flashed extravagantly all-around before converging in one spot.

Host: Welcome! To the finals night of the 3rd Warson Prize!

Host: Next, let us give a grand round of applause to our dear esteemed guests tonight!

Host: First, we have Mr. Lu Ting, the Director of the Warson Group!

A middle-aged man decked in a grey-coloured suit walked up to the stage. He stood tall and upright, with defined features and looked terrifyingly imposing.

Lu Ting briefly exchanged a few words with the host. The next guests to take the stage were celebrities from all walks of life who have collaborated with Warson.

The popular youthful and beautiful Actor, Lin Yao, the Pop Star Martin… Familiar names flashed across the screen one by one. It could be said that the line-up was akin to a vast starry sky of shining stars, at this point.

Host: Next, we have Warson’s new friend!

Host: He’s one of the champion racers of the Glitter Bullet Team― Osborn!

MC: !

The familiar name made me freeze.

❖☆———————————★❖

Osborn’s silhouette appeared at the end of the stage.

He was wearing a specially tailored three-dimensional cut suit, with several shades of black as the main tone. The three-piece suit layered on well, and there was a smattering of gold on its intricate designs.

Paired with Osborn’s stern features, the full image of him decked out in a suit presented itself nicely; a hint of danger, and a tinge of mystery.

MC: Black… really does suit him well.

❖☆———————————★❖

The Host held his mic and made some simple small talk with him.

Host: This is the first time we’ve ever invited a star of the Sports World for the Warson Prize.

Host: I wonder if you have any unique views about fashion, Mr. Osborn?

Facing the cameras, the sides of Osborn’s lips slightly quirk upwards.

Osborn: It’s not really unique or anything. I think fashion has no bounds, so you do you, anything goes.

Host: Oh, okay. Well then… Have you seen any of our previous contests?

Osborn: But of course. Some of the contestants are also pretty interesting.

I recalled the huge misunderstanding that had transpired back when I met him up on the roof that day. Contestants? …Is it… me, by any chance?

The contest only officially begins after all the judges and guests have been introduced. The background music for the catwalk plays as ten models walk down the lane, one by one, each dressed in clothes designed by a contestant.

I stood behind the side curtains of the stage, mentally reciting my speech regarding the thought process that went into my design over and over again.

MC: No feeling nervous. Just keep calm and be steady.

Staff: Next person, please get ready.

I took a deep breath before turning and heading out to stage.

The scorchingly blinding lights surround me. I saw the model standing in front of me, dressed in the dress of my design, looking as beautiful as a painting.

I took big strides, coming up to the model’s side and bowing deeply at the sea of applause. I started to calmly explain my creative ideas and thought processes that brought this design to life.

MC: Hello, everyone. I am (Y/n). The design I present to everyone today is called “Starry Key”.

I only felt the slight sheen of sweat at the back of my neck only after I’d finished my explanatory speech.

Soon, all 10 dresses had been displayed. All contestants stood in a row, side-by-side, as they awaited the results from the judges.

Host: I now have in my hands, the scores of each participant as decided by the judges!

I silently clenched my fist, my heart raced, thumping loudly as if it housed a snare drum within.

Host: The top 3 scorers of this round will be qualified to enter the next round, where only one will win the championship. Now, let’s see who they are!

Ba-thump, ba-thump.

The sound of my heartbeat rings in my ears.

Host: They are: Wu Yue, the designer of “Memory Tunnel”, Gao Cheng, the designer of “The Last Orange Blossom”, and lastly—

Host: (Y/n), the designer of “Starry Key”!

My name…

A wave of applause engulfs the stage. For a moment, I couldn’t quite register it in my brain, only looking up at the big screen. My name. It’s really being displayed up there.

MC: It’s real! I’ve gotten into the Top 3!

Gao Cheng: We got in!

Host: Let us congratulate the three contestants and welcome them up to the centre of the stage.

Although we’ve gotten into the Top 3, this also means to say that we’re only going to face much fiercer competition within our midst from now on.

Host: As we all know, the Warson Prize is one of the top-tiered competitions in the industry.

Host: To reflect Watson’s spirit of innovation and enterprise, improvisation is always the main theme for the championships.

Host: And now, just what theme awaits these 3 finalists in this round’s championship?

Making an impromptu design. That was the biggest challenge all fashion designers could ever face. With no chance to prepare or seek help, a challenge of this calibre is like a reflective mirror that tests the designer’s understanding and experience.

I put the joy of being promoted to the next round away, listening intently to the Host.

Host: The theme for the improvisation round will be announced soon. Now, let us reveal the judges, Watson’s very own in-house Designers!

Host: They are, respectively: The famous Designer, Yan Xiao, and the Deputy Director of Warson Design Hub, Mya!

❖☆———————————★❖

However, the centre seat was left empty.

Drumrolls sound, stage lights flashed, and the spotlights converged, the beam of light illuminating the end of the runway.

Host: Lastly, let us welcome the new Design Director of the Warson Brand: The internationally famous and renowned, we have— Mr. Sariel!

❖☆————— ⊹ For Light & Night⊹ —————★❖

Previous Part: (Chapter 1-9) | Next Part: (Chapter 1-14)

[waterparchive]

Woodrow Whyte — May 19, 2021

"I don’t know if I want a lot of musicians I love to know I exist because then the possibility of them thinking I suck comes into play"

To quote a famous drag queen, the cheek, the nerve, the gall, the audacity and the gumption of Waterparks to name their fourth album Greatest Hits. It's a bold statement but if anyone can pull it off, it's the Houston trio and their charismatic frontman Awsten Knight.

Like many releases this year, most of the record was written, recorded and produced during the pandemic, and the enforced downtime leant itself to introspective songwriting sessions.

"When you’re alone for so long, it takes a toll on you and forces you to examine yourself more", Awsten said in promotional materials for the album, before adding “When you hear this album, I hope you walk away feeling like there’s no other band doing anything like it. In my opinion, these are our Greatest Hits. As long as you go into it without expectations of prior things, I think it’s going to be your favourite fucking Waterparks album.”

Fans won't have long to find out if the Greatest Hits lives up to its name, as it drops this Friday. To tide you over until then, we asked Awsten to take a trip down memory lane with our My Life In 20 questions.

20) What did you learn about yourself in 2020?

I learned that I can stop using social media if I want to. I knew we weren’t gonna be doing anything so I took a good 6 months off and when it was time to come back in September, I really didn’t want to. I broke that addiction to checking Twitter all the time. It was cool though because we also grew a lot in that period, so I didn’t have to feel guilty for taking that time.

19) What was your favourite album from 2019?

FANDOM. I make all the songs I wish someone else would because they’d be my favourite band if they did. I’ll also say Igor, Amo, Weezer (Black Album), When We All Fall Asleep..., Anonymous, 7, prob some others but the wiki list is very long and I still have 18 questions to go.

18) What was the most important thing to happen in your life when you were 18?

Graduating high school, I guess? Getting a car was good too! I got my permit late because I was scared to drive and didn’t really care about going places, what a dope guy!

17) Who was your crush at 17?

I’m kinda blanking. Maybe Miley Cyrus?? Do people normally remember this stuff?

16) What can you remember about your 16th birthday?

I truly don’t remember it. I was probably wearing a studded belt if that helps though.

15) What did you hate at 15 which you love now?

I hated the straight edge youth crew dudes that would hang out at local venues and crowd kill when there were only like 40 people, like bitch you’re 28 and I’m 15, stop punching kids you my children my bride looking bitch good lordddd corniest dudes ever, looking like Christian Joe Dirt punching kids for scene clout.

14) What TV show were you obsessed with at 14?

I think 14 I was into Dexter. Amazing show but oh my god that ending. I didn’t have opinions back then about quality, but even at that time I was like 

13) 13 is unlucky for some. Do you have anything that you’re superstitious about?

I’m very superstitious. Before shows I need everyone to stay away from me and let me play solitaire. I don’t walk under ladders, you can’t split the pole when you’re walking with people, I sage myself when I come home from anywhere, whole lotta stuff, baby.

12) If you could live the life of any other person for 12 hours, who would you be and why?

Honestly I’m fine being me, but if it was just for like 12 hours uhhhhh Charlie Day so I can do that thing with my voice when he says “OOAH HELLLLAOOOH”

11) Who was your best friend when you were 11?

Everyone I was friends with before music was just a friend via proximity, like we were on the same sports teams or had the same classes. That’s how it is when you’re younger. You don’t choose that shit when you’re younger, you’re just like, 'You’re near me, what’s up do u like Captain Underpants?' That’s kinda the deal until you’re old enough to be picky. I remember being friends with these twin dudes on swim team Benito and Ernesto, shout out those dudes wherever they are!!!

10) Where do you hope you'll be in ten years time?

Somewhere the internet can’t find me. I hope I’m into some stupid shit like boats, no wifi on the water.

9) What was your biggest fear when you were 9?

Ghosts, I think. And yeah, I used to hear voices! Not dope!

8) When you were 8, what did you want to be when you grew up?  

I used to want to be an author/illustrator for kids books and an archaeologist! I’ll still do the kids books but, man, archaeologists have to be in the sun so much and I need to keep my skin cute so people buy my album. Greatest Hits May 21.

7) Which of the seven deadly sins are you most guilty of?

I just googled them for a refresher and it’s all anime. I’d either say envy or anger. By the way, who made this? It’s stupid as fuck that “anger” is a sin, like huh??????? Bitch I’ll kill you.

6) You can invite six people to your dream dinner party (dead or alive), who would you invite?

No dead people at my dinner party, gross smell. Here’s the thing, I don’t know if I want a lot of musicians I love to know I exist because then the possibility of them thinking I suck comes into play, and if someone like Donald Glover actively had the thought “god, Awsten sucks”, I’d be devastated. So I don't know if I want anyone in that realm to know who I am, I’m cool with loving them from afar.

I’m gonna say a group of people who have nothing to do with me. Like, 6 people who are working on the next Conjuring movie and I just wanna listen in on them and be like, “holy shit??????” I love y’all so much. Quick shout out Lin Shaye.

5) Name five things you can't live without.

Besides the obvious ones: dogs, personal space, sunglasses that cover most of my head, coffee, and tennis/biking. I need to tire myself out as much as possible or I get moody.

4) Describe yourself in four words.

Capricorn. Flexible. Weirdly tall.

3) Your top three songs of all time.

The Beach Boys - 'Wouldn’t It Be Nice', Rihanna - 'Bitch Better Have My Money', and Macklemore - 'Thrift Shop'.

2) Name two things on your bucket list.

A platinum Waterparks album, get a horror music video produced by Blum House.

1) What or who is your one true love?

Having one true love would be scary! Too much emphasis on one thing, too much to lose; can’t put that much on one person either! That’s a crazy level of pressure and expectation! Also Gwen Stefani.

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

Different but the Same (pt. 7)

tw: A few swears, insecurity, family trauma

Word count: ~5.1k

Rating: R18+/M

Omegaverse AU, Rating: 18+/M

Pairings: Iwaizumi x fem!reader, Ushijima x fem!reader

Summary: An unexpected encounter at the Inter-High tournament tossed you into a whirlwind. Being tugged between two males, two different packs, who will reign supreme in this battle for your heart?

Masterlist | prev | next

ch. 7: battle of the packs

“What’s Ushijima-san doing here?” One of her Omega classmates whispered to her friend, looking over their shoulders at the door. The impressive Alpha took up the entire doorway. Semi had left with Tendou just moments ago. 

“Ushijima-san? What are you doing here?” (Name) looked up, echoing the other Omega’s sentiment as her eyebrows furrowed at the sight. The bitter scent of jealousy clung to the air as they glared at (Name).

The corner of his mouth twitched. He lifted a bag. “May I eat lunch with you?” She looked at him, then back at her desk where her textbooks were sitting. A moment of hesitation.

“Uh, sure.” She closed the book, placing them back into the bag as she brought out her own bento. “I thought you normally eat in the cafeteria with the pack?” Ushijima pulled a chair to her desk, settling himself into it. He almost seemed too big for the chairs, she noticed. 

“Yes, but you don’t, and I wanted to eat lunch with you.” He opened his bento, taking out an apple as he bit into it. “Were you studying?” 

She carefully chewed a piece of salmon. “Yes, I was. I needed to finish a group-project before we leave for Tokyo on Friday, so I figured I’d do all my individual work during lunch so I had enough time.”

“What is the project on?”

“It’s just a history project on Japanese revolutions, I’m providing the research and assembling part of it into an essay for a presentation since I’ll be missing the presentation.”   

“You are a proactive student,” Ushijima commented, finishing his apple before he opened up his lunch-box. 

(Name) laughed at his comment. “Not always,” she admitted. “But I do have to try harder since I’m going to be applying for university soon.” She eyed her veggies. “I don’t wanna mess up on my finals this semester.”  

“Do you have time to help me study as well?”

She blinked. “Help you? Ushijima-san, I thought you were planning on going pro?” She laughed. “You already have a spot on the national youth team, don’t you?” 

He shrugged, carefully chewing his next bite. “I still would like to graduate with good grades. And after being so invested in volleyball for so long has left...much to be desired about my academic skills.” 

(Name) hummed. “I suppose that’s fair.” She took a sip of her lemon tea. “We don’t have practice on Wednesday, I can tutor you for a bit at the library after school.” She bit her bottom lip; the original plan had been to go to Aoba Johsai’s practice that day, but she really needed to finish this project and that took precedent. 

“That works for me.” 

“So, what does the great Ushijima-san eat for lunch?”

Ushijima looked up, blinking at her. “The ‘Great’?”

“Well yeah, since you’re quite famous in volleyball circles, and exceptionally popular in our school.” She eyed the group of Omegas that were shooting daggers at her. He glanced over, only for the Omegas to fall over themselves in fits of giggles to escape his gaze. (Name) wasn’t stupid, she knew that Ushijima was a highly sought-out Alpha. In fact, most of the volleyball team was. Something about them just simply screamed masculinity and attractiveness. The fact that they were almost exclusively a pack of Alphas probably contributed to the notion that they were ‘supreme’ Alphas, which of course was supported by the fact that the leader of the pack himself was an Apex Alpha. She snorted internally. If only they knew how stupid all those Alphas could get. It wasn’t particularly uncommon for exceptionally brave Omegas to attempt to court Ushijima, only for him not to realize what was going on and point-blank rejecting them. 

“I suppose that’s fair.” He tilted his bento to her. “I’m having hayashi rice.” 

“Ooh, that looks and smells delicious!” She complimented. “Did you make it yourself?” 

Ushijima nodded. “My grandmother taught me.” He gazed at the food for a moment. “I spent a lot of time with her as a child. This is what she’d make me whenever I did well or had a bad day at school.” 

“Your grandmother sounds lovely.” She smiled at him, taking another sip of her tea.

“Would you like to try?”

“Are you sure?” She hesitated. The Omega was all-too familiar with the immense appetite of Alphas, and she didn’t want to take away from his meal.

“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t sure.”

She snorted. “Always the blunt one, aren’t you?”

“Is that bad?”

“No, it’s refreshing.” Her mind wandered to Iwaizumi, who used to leave things left unsaid, assuming that others would know what he was thinking. Granted, after being with him for so long, he’d gotten better with communication. Ushijima eyed her, holding the bento out. “How about a trade?” She picked up her box. “It’s probably not as good as your grandmother’s hayashi rice, but you can try my teriyaki salmon.”

“Did you make it yourself?”

“Of course, you know I love cooking.” A small smile made its way to his face, matching hers; he was familiar with her cooking especially since she had brought onigiri to practice a few times since they had played the college team.

Ushijima nodded, “thank you.” They traded bentos. Behind the mouthful he had was a sense of warmth that he hadn’t experienced in a long time. The type of warmth that comes from care and love that speaks directly to the soul. It flooded all of his senses. Olive eyes glowed as his scent filled the room.  

“This is so good, Ushijima-san! Thank you for letting me try it.” She purred in delight at the explosion of flavor that bathed her tongue. It tasted familiar. A meal you come home to on a windy fall afternoon after being out all day. “I’ll need to get the recipe from you sometime. If you and your grandmother don’t mind, of course.”

Another curt nod as they passed the bentos back. “I’ll teach it to you someday,” he promised. “I enjoyed your salmon.”

“Thank you!” She beamed. “I’ll make you some of my curry next time. That’s one of my better dishes.”

“Thank you for bringing onigiri to our practices.” Ushijima nodded to her. “We all appreciate the effort.”

“It’s the least I can do!” The Omega wriggled happily. “I enjoy cooking and I’m always happy to take care of the pack.”

“What else do you enjoy cooking?”

She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Anything really. My parents took me to France last holiday, and I’ve been experimenting with French dishes since then.” Her (e/c) orbs examined the Alpha. “Do you cook often, Ushijima-san?”

“Not particularly.” He closed up his bento, cleaning up. “I do not have time for simple luxuries like that.”

“I can imagine volleyball keeps you extremely busy,” she hummed, placing her empty lunchbox down. She pulled out a bag of cookies. “Would you like to have one?”

“What is it?”

“It’s a strawberry cheesecake cookie.” She bit one, a smile expanding on her face at the flavour. “It’s one of my favorite things to bake when I have free time.” (Name) pulled another one out, handing it to Ushijima. He took it carefully, examining it before nibbling it.

“Why do you enjoy cooking?” 

A melancholy expression crossed her face as she stared at the cookies. “I’ve always liked the idea of being in a pack, even before I presented.” She smiled slightly, a tear trickled down her right cheek. He froze, confused. His scent hummed as comforting pheromones pumped out. The Omegas in the background all keened, leaning closer with eyes fluttering shut as they inhaled. “As a kid, I would follow my mother around the kitchen, learning how to cook and generally just spending time with her. I loved watching her pour her heart out into a dish where you could just taste the love, y’know?” (Name) leaned back in her seat, fiddling with the bag. “My father was terrifying. You never knew whether or not he cared or loved you, and it was more often than not that he was upset.” A wry laugh and a tear escaped her left cheek. He watched with concern, his finger lifting the tear off of her face. She leaned into the warmth of his caress, eyes shutting as she let out a soft sniffle. “It was hard knowing what love was in that household, so I figured I’d make it obvious in all of my actions.” She lifted her face to his, blinking back the rest of her tears.

“I am sorry to hear that.” Ushijima’s hand slipped into hers, squeezing it. 

“It’s not your fault.” She cleared her throat, wiping her face with the back of her hand. “So, why do you like volleyball, Ushijima-san?”

He took another bite, hesitating at the sudden topic change. Ushijima squeezed her hand again, enjoying the soft warmth and hoping that his actions would comfort her. “My father used to play volleyball professionally and taught me as a child. My parents are divorced, and he’s abroad right now. It gives me a connection to him, and I enjoy the sport.”

She giggled, eating another cookie. “I’d enjoy it too if I were as good as you.” 

They sat in a pleasant silence as they finished the cookies, simply enjoying each other’s company as a thumb idly swept over her knuckles. The bell rang, and he let out a gentle sigh. His hand slipped away, gathering his stuff. “Thank you for having lunch with me.” With a slight bow, he got up to leave.

“I’ll see you at practice, Ushijima-san.” (Name) waved before the Apex Alpha disappeared out of the classroom door. 

****

She looked up at the sound of a door opening as the fresh scent of pine drafted in.  “Babe, I’m home!” 

“In the kitchen!” She called, using a spoon to stir the pot. Loud shuffling noises echoed the apartment before warm arms wrapped around her waist.

“What’s cooking, good lookin’?” He pressed a kiss to her jaw, his nose brushing against her neck. 

“You need to stop hanging out with Oikawa,” she replied, leaning back into his embrace. “Just making some ragout. How was practice?” 

“The usual.” Iwaizumi’s warm breath caused sparks of electricity to shoot through her veins. “Oikawa was still practicing when I left.” 

“I see.” She surveyed the pot. “Do you want to invite him over? There’s more than enough food for the three of us.” The Omega turned down the fire, letting the pot simmer with a lid. “Even with your monstrous appetite,” she teased, pecking his cheek.

Iwaizumi grumbled. “I just want you to myself.” 

“Should’ve thought of that before joining such a needy pack!” She chirped, turning in his arms to face him. “He’s your best friend, and I worry about him sometimes.” His eyes glinted as he frowned slightly. “You know I worry about both of you, but he’s an idiot so he ends up with both of us worrying about him all the time,” she chided. He huffed.

“Tch. Fine.” 

“I guess I better stop by the grocery store then,” she made a move towards the sink, only for his grip to tighten.

“Why’s that?”

“To pick up some milk-bread to entice him into coming.”

He let out a faint growl. “Just stay here with me.” Iwaizumi’s arms held her close to him. Her eyes fluttered shut, listening to his heart-beat. “I’ll give him a call and we can cuddle while we wait or something.”

“Aren’t you hungry?” (Name) pulled away, blinking owlishly up at her mate. He opened his mouth to argue, only for his stomach to grumble in response. “We could always eat without him.”

“You know he’s just going to whine about it.” Iwaizumi ran a hand through his hair, annoyance clear in his expression.

“Fine, then help me make some onigiri? You can bring it to the pack tomorrow for me.” 

He laughed, his fingers carding through her hair. “You really are too good to us.” 

“Only because I have you in my life, Haji.” Pine hummed like a freshly lit candle. “Now, go call that idiot of a best friend and I’ll start making more rice.” Iwaizumi released her, stalking towards his back in the living room.

“Oi, Shittykawa. Get your ass over here. (Nickname) made dinner and she wants to feed your dumbass for some reason.” The Omega giggled, hearing his best friend’s shrill cry of indignation even though he was not on speaker. She scooped the rice out of the rice cooker, preparing another pot for their dinner. It was more than common for them to always have freshly cooked rice, especially considering how often she was meal-prepping and making onigiris. It was fortunate that her parents understood her pack mentality, and would finance her grocery habits. Her pack would also typically step up and buy her ingredients or give Iwaizumi money. “Yes now, otherwise we’re going to eat it all and you’ll have to get your own food.” Iwaizumi pinched his nose, eyes squeezed shut. He almost always regretted calling Oikawa, but he knew that his mate would’ve bothered him even more if he didn’t do it. Iwaizumi ended the call, placing his phone onto the dining room table. “You ready?” 

He slipped into the kitchen, surveying the counter. “Do you mind making the eggs? I always like how you season it.” Her lip quivered as she sent him a soft, pouty expression.

“Don’t make that face,” he grumbled, lightly flicking her forehead. “You just have to ask and I’d do it.” He pulled on his Your Opinion Wasn’t in the Recipe apron. She glanced down at her own, giggling at the phrase printed on it: I’ll Feed All You Fuckers. Mattsun had gotten them the aprons as a gag gift one Christmas, but she loved them. 

“You’re the best!”

“I know.” 

She stood beside him, slicing strips of seaweed while he prepared the eggs. Containers of pre-made fillings littered the counter alongside bowls of seasonings and toppings. They danced around the kitchen with practiced movements after years of cooking together. He would reach for some seasoning, only for her to have nudged the bowl towards him already. She would reach for the rice, only for him to scoop out a portion onto the nori. Laughter and music filled the air as they simply enjoyed each other’s presence. 

“I missed this,” she admitted, carefully shaping one of the balls as she sprinkled more furikake flakes. 

 He bumped his hip against hers, tilting his face down so his lips brushed against her forehead. “I’ve missed you.” He placed his onigiri down onto the plate, leaning down to press his lips against hers. “I’m so lucky to have you in my life.” 

The door-bell rang, and she was quick to pop a spoonful of salmon filling into his mouth. “Yes you are,” she winked. Brown eyes widened, as she took off her gloves and apron and skipped over to the door. “Hey, Oiks!” 

“Thank you for having me! Ooh, that smells delicious.” Oikawa stepped into the kitchen, beaming at the tray. “You won’t even greet your guest, Iwa-chan? So rude!” 

“Oi, you’re lucky she invited you over for dinner.” Iwaizumi glared. “Otherwise you’d be hungry and at the gym still.”  Oikawa pouted, opening his mouth to whine more.

“Boys.” The Omega’s eyes narrowed. “Go set the table. And you,” she flicked Oikawa on the forehead causing the male to yelp, “stop overworking yourself. If I hear that you’ve stayed late again and that Iwaizumi left without you, I’m going to handcuff you to him.” 

“Kinky.”

“Oi!” A loud crack as Iwaizumi slapped the back of his head.

“Dinner table! Now!” 

Oikawa joined Iwaizumi at the table, helping him clear it and setting out utensils. “As sweet as she is, I always forget she has a scary side,” Oikawa comments. “She must get it from having you as a mate.”

Iwaizumi’s face darkened. “At least I have a mate.”

“You’re so mean!” 

“Boys!”

“Sorry.” They chorused together. Iwaizumi shoved Oikawa, muttering insults under his breath.

****

“Ushijima-san, that’s not right.” She tapped her pencil on her notebook, surveying the Alpha. He let out a sigh, looking up and blinking with exasperation. 

“What did I do wrong for this one?” 

They’d been sitting in the library for the past three hours, two of which had been spent solely on chemistry. It wasn’t that there was a lack of effort on Ushijima’s side. In fact, he had tried really hard to solve the problems by himself. He would just end up using the wrong formula or accidentally skipped a step here and there which caused problems. “You’re supposed to use this formula instead.” She pointed at the formula sheet she had provided him. He leaned in closer, his shoulder brushing against her back. The warmth seeped through his muscles, her scent easing the tension he felt from studying.

“I see...but why do we use that one instead?” As she opened her mouth to explain, the library doors were thrown open. They both looked up as familiar scents filled the room. Ushijima nodded as his pack-mates made their way to their table. “Hello Tendou, Semi.”

“Wakatoshi!” Tendou exclaimed, only to be shushed by the librarian. “We were wondering where you were.” He sat on the opposite side of Ushijima, leaning into his personal space. Semi rolled his eyes, sending the Omega an awkward wave as he took a seat beside her. They were seated at a circular table.

“Hi, (Name). Sorry to bother you.” 

“Do you wanna go get dinner off-campus?” 

“Tendou, that’s not what we’re here for,” Reon reprimanded, hurrying in through the doors to stop the middle-blocker. “Is it alright if we join you two? We all need to study.” Reon glared at the other two. 

Tendou let out an elongated sigh as Reon plopped his bag beside him, sitting directly across from the other Omega. “Sure,” (Name) smiled. “There’s more than enough room at the table. But I’m not tutoring you guys!” 

Tendou cursed, crossing his arms. “Why not? You’re tutoring Wakatoshi!”

“Because I’m tutoring Ushijima-san, and I don’t want to tutor you, Tendou.” 

“Semi-Semi! I’m not a bad student, right?”

“Tendou, you’re the one who always ends getting us kicked out of here.” Semi retorted, taking a seat beside the Omega as he pulled out his own study materials. Tendou crossed his arms, pouting. “Get your stuff out, Tendou.” 

Tendou let out a loud tch before reluctantly pulling out his pens and pencils.

“I am sorry about this,” Ushijima whispered to (Name), leaning down so his mouth was by her ear. An involuntary shiver coursed through her as she lurched back slightly.

“It’s okay, Ushijima-san.” She cleared her throat. “Anyways, this is what you need to do here.” She copied the problem down on her page, writing out each step and carefully explaining why she was doing such. 

“Tendou, stop it!” Semi cursed, glaring at the red-haired Alpha. She looked up, only to have a wad of paper bounce off her nose. Confused, she furrowed her brow. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Tendou?” The group halted, all looking at her. Semi looked impressed, Ushijima was impassive, a flicker of surprise crossed Reon’s face, and Tendou had an apprehensive look on his face. 

“Having fun?”

She crossed her arms, eyes narrowing dangerously. A shiver crept up Tendou’s spine despite being an Alpha. “And what are you here to do?”

“Distract you guys!”

“Tendou,” she warned. 

He deflated slightly, face darkening. “Study?” 

“That’s right.” She fixed him with a hard gaze. “So, what are you going to do?”

“Pull out my English homework and do it.”

“Well get to it.” Tendou sulked, proceeding to do as he stated. With a satisfied smile, she turned back to the other boys. She blinked. “Why are you guys staring at me?”

“We’ve never heard you curse before, (Name)-san.” Reon commented, meeting her gaze steadily. 

“Yeah, I didn’t know you had it in you,” Semi chuckled, ruffling her hair. 

(Name) batted his hand away from her head. “You guys realize who my Alpha is right?” She rolled her eyes. Ushijima stiffened slightly; all eyes except hers flickered to him momentarily. “He’s always cursing out Oikawa and the rest of our pack-mates.”

Ushijima cleared his throat, leaning down to look at the problem, his wrist brushing against her arm. “That doesn’t sound like a healthy pack environment.” 

(Name) raised an eyebrow, glancing over at the Apex Alpha. “It’s not like he does it to intimidate or fight them. It’s all playful. They’re all fond of one another.” She cleared her throat. “Besides, I don’t think you can talk, Ushijima-san.” Olive eyes shifted up to stare at the female Omega. “Your pack was literally built upon the mentality of who is the strongest volleyball player, not with genuine connections.”

“Hey now, that’s not right,” Semi interjected. She looked at the ash-blonde Alpha. “We might’ve met like that, but we wouldn’t have agreed to be in this pack if we didn’t genuinely like one another.” 

She blinked. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be offensive.” 

“I understand where you’re coming from (Name)-san,” Reon added, sending the fellow Omega a pleasant smile. “From an outsider’s perspective, it can seem a bit forced. Just like how we might have a certain perspective about the Seijoh pack due to being outside it as well.” He leaned back. “But, based on your experiences with the pack, do you still truly think that?”

(Name) hesitated a moment. “No,” she admitted. “I do think that there are real bonds between you guys.” Her gaze examined each of the males sitting at the table in front of her. “To be honest, it does remind me of my pack. You guys are playful in similar ways, and I can tell that the bonds between you guys will last.” 

“You’re in the pack too,” Ushijima finally said, his eyes glancing down at the watch on her wrist before raising to steadily meet hers. The other males also eyed the accessory. Tendou’s eyes sparkled. Semi raised his eyebrow, and Reon simply kept the pleasant smile on his face. 

“I suppose I am, aren’t I?” Her gaze was down, staring at the maroon sleeve that sat in her lap from the jacket that hung on her chair. “Anyways,” she cleared her throat, “we have exams soon so let’s get back to studying, yeah?”  

****

“I don’t understand this!” The Beta complained, head plopping down onto his book.

“Kindaichi-kun, let’s start at the top again, okay?” Her pencil tapped against the book, carefully reading the instructions. “They just want you to solve for x, okay? Where do you think you should start?” Kindaichi peeled his face away from the pages, brows furrowed as he stared at the problem. Kumini was across the table, reviewing his English homework. Both first years were Betas. Laughter erupted from her living room, causing her gaze to shift. “Oi! You guys better be studying, or I’m not feeding you.”

“We’re studying!” Makki called.

“Don’t worry (Nickname)-chan! We’re working hard.”

“You’re hardly working, Oikawa.” Mattsun retorted, flicking through his history textbook.

“All of us are working but Shittykawa.” 

“Iwa-chan!” 

“Don’t lie to our Omega-chan,” Makki rolled his eyes.

“Stop arguing and do your work!” 

“Sorry.” They all chimed.

(Name) pinched her nose as she sighed. “I always wonder how you put up with them,” Kumini commented, not looking up from his work.

“Me too.” She replied before she glanced back down at the page besides her. “There you go, Kindaichi-kun! You’re getting the hang of it.” 

“Thank you for helping me!” 

The Omega giggled, ruffling his hair. “Of course, I told you, I’m always here to help.” She stood up, stretching. Her eyes scanned the rooms. In the living room, Iwaizumi was sitting facing her, his back to the TV as he worked on the living room table, pouring over his literature book. Oikawa was sprawled on the chaise sectional, his laptop sitting besides him as he jotted down notes on the notebook on his lap. Makki and Mattsun were sitting down at the table on opposite sides of Iwaizumi, facing each other as each focused on their own homework. She had been seated besides Kindaichi at the dinner table, their backs to the kitchen, with Kumini sitting across from them. Her eyes glanced at the clock, it was already 7 P.M.

(Name) let out a deep sigh, making her way towards the kitchen as she put on her apron. She was scheduled to leave for Tokyo tomorrow during lunch, and would be gone for the rest of the weekend. The Omega pulled out a cutting board, pulling out various ingredients and spices to start preparing dinner. “Do you need any help?” She jumped, looking up to see Oikawa standing in front of her. His elbows were on the counter, his head propped up against his arm.

“Don’t you have work you need to finish?” 

“I finished! Besides, I feel bad that you’re always the one cooking.”

“Yeah, cause we don’t trust your cooking,” Mattsun commented. Another page flip.

“Why did I even ask you guys to join my pack if all you do is bully me,” Oikawa grumbled, crossing his arms and pouting.

“Why don't you help me peel the veggies?” She offered, gesturing to the potatoes and carrots that sat in the strainer in the sink. “Just, please don’t hurt yourself, okay?” He washed his hands, standing by her side. “Don’t want Coach killing me for messing with his setter’s fingers.” 

“Maybe Shittykawa shouldn’t help then,” Iwaizumi replied, walking behind them to refill his water bottle from the fridge. 

“I can do this! Have some faith in me.” Oikawa rolled up his sleeves, washing his hands and grabbing the vegetable peeler enthusiastically.

“I will kick your ass if you fuck up.”

“I have some confidence that he will be okay.” She smiled, pecking Iwaizumi’s cheek as he stood behind her. One of his hands squeezed her hip before he headed back to his homework. 

“Some?!”

“It’s better than none,” she shrugged, washing the rice besides him. 

Oikawa gingerly picked up a potato, peeling the skin off. “Whoops!” He yelped as it shot out of his fingers. 

The Omega gave him a blank look. “Don’t make me regret inviting you over, Shittykawa.”

“Don’t use that nickname too!” Oikawa pouted. “Iwa-chan, don’t teach your mate your roguish ways.”

“I will end you.” Iwaizumi dead-panned, not looking up from his textbook. 

“When did it become ‘bully Oikawa’ day?” Oikawa muttered under his breath, scowling as he finished peeling the potato. The Omega took it out of his fingers, moving back to the cutting board in order to start chopping the vegetables.

“That’s every-day, Oikawa,” Makki retorted, causing Mattsun and Iwaizumi to burst into laughter. Kindaichi stifled his own laughter out of respect for his senpai. 

“Behave yourself in front of your kouhais,” (Name) scolded, scooping the potato pieces into the pot. A smile breached her face as she surveyed her pack-mates. She was used to such banter, and she was glad that the years hadn’t changed them that much. Kumini shut his book, stretching out. The Beta made his way over to the couch, plopping down and curling up into one of the blankets she had laid out. 

Kindaichi’s brows furrowed as he sighed in exasperation. “(Name)-san, I think I need some more help.” Kindaichi called hesitantly, face flushing pink as he avoided her eyes.

“Bring your work over here, Kindaichi. I’ll help you.” Iwaizumi waved him over, making room on the table beside him. “Oi, Mattsun, scootch over.” 

“Thank you, Iwaizumi-san!” Kindaichi scooped his things up, making his way towards his senpai. Her heart skipped a beat as she glanced between the carrots and Iwaizumi and Kindaichi. Iwaizumi really was the perfect alpha. 

Bonus

“Ushijima-san, are you okay?” Ushijima jerked, looking up. Standing in front of his desk was (Name). She placed a sports drink onto his desk. 

He cleared his throat, “yes I am. Why do you ask?” 

She raised an eyebrow at him. “I could smell you down the hall.” Ushijima frowned, sniffing the air. He hadn’t realised that his scent carried so much. “What’s going on?” She slid into the seat in front of him, straddling the seat so she faced him.

Ushijima shook his head. “It is nothing serious. Do not worry.”

“As your pack Omega and the manager of the volleyball team, I will worry. Whatever affects you will affect the pack.” Her face softened. “Please, Ushijima-san? I just want to help.” 

His frown deepened before he let out another sigh. “I am just stressed about school.” 

“School?” Her brow furrowed. “Do you need another study session?” 

“That might be helpful,” he admitted. 

“Do you normally get stressed out about school?” 

 Ushijima bite back a groan. “More often than I’d like to admit.” He took the drink, uncapping and sipping it. She had gotten him his favorite flavor. 

“Is there anything else I can do to help?” Her (e/c) eyes carefully surveyed him as she considered solutions for his problem.

“No, I’m sure I will be fine after a bit of help.”

“Whatever you say, Ushijima-san. If you think of something, please let me know okay?” She swung her legs over the chair, standing up. “Break is almost over, I should head back to my classroom.” As she moved towards the door, his hand shot out to grab her wrist.

“Actually…” He hesitated, a fear of rejection creeping up his throat. “Do you mind scenting something for me?” 

She blinked owlishly at the request. “Scent something?” (Name) looked down at his hand. It was trembling. 

“I find comfort in your scent,” he admitted, averting his eyes as he looked at the buttons on his blazer. “And I think it would help calm me down when I study.” Her face softened. Though scenting things was typically reserved for courting couples or unmated individuals, she supposed she could do the Alpha a favor. After all, she was his pack’s Omega. 

“Of course, Ushijima-san.” She took out a handkerchief from her pocket, placing it gently onto the desk. “Let me know if you need me to re-scent it, okay? Or if you need something else scented.” 

“Thank you, (Name)-san. I greatly appreciate it.” 

She stepped away, a pink flush filling her cheeks. “No problem!” She laughed awkwardly. “I’ll see you later for practice and we can talk about more study sessions then, okay?”

FUN FACTS

💟 The first time an Omega tried to ask Ushijima out, he ended up accidentally closing the door in her face. Another Alpha also tried to court Ushijima, only for him to think it was a joke and he told them off, saying that the joke wasn’t funny.

💟 The first time (Name) had made salmon, she’d accidentally undercooked it and gave her family food poisoning. Since then, she was extra diligent with her food prep. 

💟 Both Ushijima and (Name) were raised to believe that food was the language of love. 

💟 The first time (Name) had made them dinner, Iwaizumi had accidentally eaten all of the food leaving the Omega to make herself some instant noodles. Since then, she’d learn to make four times the portion just in case. 

💟 The Seijoh third-years have a competition to see who could give the worst present to the others. So far, Makki was in the lead.

💟 The Shiratorizawa librarian had placed multiple suspensions on Tendou to prevent him from being in the library. He was only allowed in the library with supervision by Reon or Ushijima. 

💟 The very first person to officially join Ushijima’s pack was Tendou. Semi was the second.

💟 Ushijima actually hadn’t told his pack-mates that he was courting (Name), but the third-years knew him well enough to guess as much

💟 The Seijoh pack has monthly study sessions which Kindaichi and Kumini always go to in order to see (Name). They miss their pack-mother but were too scared to admit it.

💟 (Name) has actually withheld food from the Seijoh boys before. They had to offer a group apology in order to get their ‘food rights’ back.

💟 Oikawa had accidentally burnt his finger-tips when (Name) was teaching him how to make milk-bread their second year. He was put on bench-rest for two weeks 1.5 months before Interhigh. 

💟 Sometimes the other third-years had a competition to see who could make Oikawa the most upset. When (Name) found out, they were lectured for over an hour. They still secretly did it behind her back whenever they had a chance though. She mostly didn’t want them teaching their underclassmen to be mean to one another and would sometimes secretly team-up with Iwaizumi and Mattsun.

💟 Ushijima spends so much time playing volleyball and working out that he sometimes forgets about his homework.

💟 Though scenting is an intimate thing typically reserved for mates, Alphas in packs are allowed to ask Omega members to scent things for them. That being said, Ushijima only asks (Name) to scent something for him and he asks her every week because of “stress”.  

AN: Tons of bonus content this week! I think this is one of the longest chapters I’ve posted for this fic :)  

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[r6shippingdelivery]

headcannons for hobbies? Like what they do on their off time?

Hi nonnie! I actually did a Hobbies HC for “all” ops a long time ago. But seeing that was before the expanded bios, and it only reached up to Gridlock and Mozzie, I’d say it’s time for an updated version, don’t you say? 

Some of the answers are unchanged from the old post, because I already nailed it or the new info didn’t disprove my ideas. But I had to revise a lot of the answers I gave the first time around! In order to find their hobbies and/or get a glimpse of their lives beyond Rainbow and what they might like, I read all the bios, and looked up concept art, and elites, and past battlepass content, etc. And when none of that was enough, I just went with my gut instinct 😂 Thank you to @grain-crain-drain, @dagoth-menthol & @todragonsart for bouncing ideas with me when I was stuck! 💕

Hobbies Headcanons for ALL ops (up to Neon Dawn)

FBI

- Ash: According to her savta, shooting things is not a hobby, but Ash disagrees. And since according to her expanded bio she knows Hebrew, Arabic, English, French and Greek, I’m willing to bet she enjoys learning languages as well. - Thermite: He grew up on a ranch and loves riding. He’s also taken an interest in improving gadgets it seems, so my old proposal that he dabbles in forging/smithing stuff seems plausible. And based on this concept art, demolition derbies attending and maybe even competing himself too? - Pulse: He’s interested in a variety of topics and goes through phases of intense, nearly obsessive focus, until something else captures his attention. He still has a lingering fondness for building muscle cars, since it was something he used to do with his father. And like Thermite and Hibana, it seems he might enjoy demolition derbies. - Castle: He’s a language nerd, studying/reading/practicing new languages is his hobby for sure. Since the expanded bio says he rescues abused dogs, I don’t think it would be far fetched he volunteered at animal shelters too.

SAS

- Thatcher: Aside from repairing his boat, The Iron Maggie, he also enjoys fishing. He used to do that with his dad & brothers, and tried to take the rest of the SAS fishing as a bonding experience. It didn’t go very well - Sledge: He plays rugby, and has an inexplicable fondness of trying the wildest ideas that tend to end with something broken, be it one of his bones or a structure or wall (just read his extended psychological profile and you’ll see, lmao) - Smoke: Boxing, it helps him focus all his chaotic energy. And chemistry in general, it’s not just a hobby but a passion of his. - Mute: he enjoys tinkering with stuff, taking it apart and then putting it back together in a different way, just to see if he can improve it or make it work in his own way. Flying drones plays perfectly into that, with the added bonus of being able to do the flying part just for fun too.

GIGN

- Montagne: His main passion is working with people, teaching and mentoring others, and therefore when he’s not on duty, his main passtime still is mingling with people and getting to know them. I could see him making overtures with Castle, interested in the American and fascinated by his knowledge of various languages, an area Monty feels insecure about due to only knowing French and English.  - Twitch: Engineering, robotics and developing an empathic AI is her life.Twitch is a workaholic passionate about those topics. She also greatly enjoys traveling and, according to her expanded bio, people watching.  - Doc: He surely had some hobby at one point, but he can’t remember it, or the last time he had free time for it. Doc is also a workaholic, although one that loves to complain about it.  - Rook: Apparently he’s passionate about cycling, auto racing, and rock concerts. Mainly cycling though, since he dropped out of university to cycle around France.

Spetsnaz

- Tachanka: He collects and repairs old weapons. Mostly soviet, but he has some interesting pieces from other countries too. And he dances surprisingly well.  - Kapkan: Aside from a certain interest in psychology, his main hobby is hunting, of course. But he also whittles and carves wooden figurines.  - Glaz: Quite obviously, painting. He’s an artist, and quite a good one. He also likes playing cards, especially poker. - Fuze: He builds new weapon prototypes for fun. And tests them, if he can convince Six of it. He also likes to bake from time to time, a skill he learnt thanks to his grandma - and because he has a sweet tooth.

GSG9

- Jäger: Planes. Model planes, repairing old WWI & II planes, you name it. And watching copious amounts of documentaries.  - Bandit: His bike is his main hobby, both taking care of it and riding it. He also likes playing pool; and, if pranking people counts as a hobby, that’s his oldest one, dating from when he was a kid. - Blitz: He was and still is an athlete at heart, and Blitz loves running. - IQ: In order to disconnect from engineering pursuits, she indulges in rock climbing, spelunking, and writing science fiction stories.

JTF2

- Buck: He crafts mechanical puzzles, and enjoys all kinds of physical activity that can take place outdoors. - Frost: She just loves being surrounded by nature, and often goes mountain climbing or diving.

SEAL

- Valkyrie: Swimming and diving, of course! She wanted to be a professional swimmer, but now it’s just a hobby. And apparently she enrolled for a helicopter pilot license, and language classes. - Blackbeard: According to the expanded bios, he likes sailing and even participated in a championship. And since he climbed Mount Everest, it’s safe to say he also likes mountain climbing.

BOPE

- Capitao: He loves football, playing or watching it, doesn’t matter, he’s all for it. - Caveira: Spends a lot of time practicing Jiu Jitsu, in the gym and also on unofficial tournaments.

SAT

- Hibana: For her it’s traditional Japanese archery (Kyūdō). And probably demolition derbies too accounting that concept art from before with Thermite and Pulse. - Echo: According to the expanded bio, he has few interests outside work, but I always imagined he’d be into gaming and e-sports. Hacking too, and that’s a direct influence from Dokkaebi.

GEO

- Jackal: He plays the acoustic guitar/spanish guitar, and sings too. And now we also know he volunteers with at-risk youth. - Mira: Fixing cars is second nature to her, and thanks to her expanded bio we know she also does metal sculptures that incorporate used mechanical parts.

SDU

- Ying: Extreme driving, which can sometimes trigger her PTSD, and traveling. Especially exploring cities by randomly jumping in public transport and just going anywhere. - Lesion: He is also one to volunteer in underprivileged areas (like Junk Bay, where he grew up), and clearing mines and other unexploded devices. I also imagine him with a certain gusto for playing blackjack.

GROM

- Zofia: If obsessing about her father’s supposed suicide and the oddities surrounding it, and desperately trying to reconnect with her sister count as hobbies, sure, she has those. - Ela: She’s also an artist, one with a very particular vision that some have called narcissistic. Apparently she also does some “freelance” volunteer work, roaming the streets at night and offering help/comfort, or a willing ear to the people she meets.

707SMB

- Vigil: He likes to take walks around the forest, just aimless exploring and marvelling at nature and any animals he might come across. Often listens to relaxing music while doing so, and he might pick a pretty rock here and there to bring home. - Dokkaebi: Hacking is her hobby, of course. She also has several social media profiles and is an active member in a couple of hacking forums. As per a previous battlepass, I believe she enjoys mountain trekking too. And dancing to electro beat, due to her elite.

CBRN

- Lion: His rebel years left him with an appreciation for rock music and a dream to be in a group. Lion still plays the electric guitar, when he’s not off volunteering at the local church. - Finka: Pushed by her parents from a young age to try different sports, just like her siblings, she eventually discovered a strong love for fencing and ice-skating.

GIS

- Maestro: Cooking, and boxing, an interest he shares with Smoke. But mostly cooking. - Alibi: She’s also a marksman, engages Ash in friendly shooting competitions.

GSUTR

- Clash: She’s very involved in different activist causes, mostly surrounding racial issues and inequality. - Maverick: Photography, mostly nature or candid shots of his fellow operators. I also think he likes horses and riding. And Buzkashi of course, but he hasn’t played since he left Kabul.

GIGR

- Kaid: Playing chess, he’s a good strategist and it shows. And  while dozing off with a cat on his lap is not a hobby, he also loves that. - Nomad: Traveling to all sorts of remote locations, she’s an explorer with a thirst to prove herself. She also keeps a travel journal, which includes maps and some drawings of the places she’s seen.

SASR

- Mozzie: Dirt biking, of course. The more dangerous the jumps and stunts are, the more he likes it. He knows his limits and works to surpass them. - Gridlock: Robotics. She still wants to compete again in robot championships, just like she and Mozzie did so many years ago. She would consider that fixing cars and vehicles has become more part of her job than a hobby, but still loves it too.

Phantom Sight

- Nokk: Fencing, as evidenced by some of her concept art, she participated in fencing tournaments. - Warden: He knows appearances are important, and he cultivated a very specific image, so he likes to take care of that, be it by buying luxury or antique cars, or designer suits, etc.

Ember Rise

- Amaru: Archeology and exploring the Amazon jungle is her passion. It used to be her whole life and job, but since she joined Rainbow, she’s been busy with training and missions, yet she never lost her love for adventure, history and protecting her country’s cultural artifacts. - Goyo: He’s a really good chess player, and enjoys other games where he either has to think, or his usual poker face and calm demeanor can throw his opponents off.

Shifting Tides

- Kali: When she’s not writing reports about her underlings progress, or making lists about who should be ascended/rewarded, who needs to be punished or chastised, etc, she’ll be doing yoga, since it helps her focus. Or hardcore pilates when she needs to burn away some frustration first. - Wamai: Diving and being underwater in general, be it on his special immersion tanks or on the actual sea, it doesn’t matter. He finds it calming (and he’s addicted to the anoxia sensation)

Void Edge

- Iana: Space exploration fascinates her, and she’s always trying to learn everything she can about the cosmos, watching documentaries and conducting her own in-depth research. - Oryx: Wrestling helps him hone his physical prowess, and it’s also a measured outlet for his deep seated rage. He also greatly enjoys reading poetry.

Steel Wave

- Melusi: She’s committed to the conservation cause, which stems from both her love of wildlife and nature, and her protective instincts. She likes to explore too, although she’s not driven by a will to prove herself or reach certain goals, but simply for the joy of seeing natural spaces. - Ace: Social Media. He’s obsessed with his public image and popularity. While he travels quite a bit, it seems he does it more to share new and exciting selfies on Instagram than for the pleasure of visiting new places.

Shadow Legacy

- Zero: He knits and crochets, it’s an engaging hobby that helps him clear his mind, plus he enjoys making stuff too. Not many people know about this side of him though. 

Neon Dawn

- Aruni: She and Hero, her giant pouched rat, volunteer on landmine detection and removal efforts. She also likes to travel extensively, and has done so in the company of Twitch and Nomad.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

As I spoke with other self-idenitified bisexuals throughout my college career, I realized that many, including myself, felt a dose of imposter syndrome in both gay and straight spaces. Whether it be comments from fellow queer folk invalidating our sexuality or the general queerphobia prevalent in the larger society, many bisexuals resent the heteronormative stereotypes imposed on them from both the gay and straight communities. Further research into the erasure of the bisexual community indicated that its impact on the mental and physical health of bisexual individuals is tangible.

The term “bisexuality” encompasses many sexual identities including queer and pansexual. According to the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), “Studies suggest that bisexuals comprise nearly half of all people who identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual, making the bisexual population the single largest group within the LGBT community.” As the largest subset of the gay community, it is interesting to note that bisexuals are routinely discriminated against in the LGBT community as well as in the straight community. Despite being the largest population behind heterosexuals, studies suggest biphobia in all facets of society has facilitated the erasure of the bisexual community to the extent that bisexuals can expect to be systematically disadvantaged regarding their physical and mental health,

The prevalent stereotypes about bisexuality that keep bisexuals from coming out are noted in the essay “Bisexuality and Mental Health: Future Research Directions,” published in The Journal of Bisexuality in 2015: “It has been argued that bisexuality has been delegitimized by negative stereotypes, such as ‘bisexuality doesn’t exist as a sexual orientation,’ ‘bisexuals are sexually promiscuous,’ and ‘bisexuals are confused.’ Several studies have found that heterosexual, gay and lesbian individuals may all have negative attitudes toward bisexuality, indicating that bisexual individuals face double discrimination.” The authors, Persson & Pfaus, assert that bisexuals are hesitant to identify themselves for fear of backlash from all facets of society, a statement I can firmly attest to having been personally asked “Can’t you just pick one or the other?” by both gay and straight people. In a press release regarding a study focused on HIV/AIDS in the bisexual community, published in the American Journal for Preventative Medicine by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, researcher William Jeffries⁠ stated, “Societal biphobia is more prevalent than antigay sentiment.”

Biphobia is prevalent enough to keep bisexuals from coming out to their homosexual counterparts. Historically, homosexuality has been considered taboo and punished with imprisonment and even death; pro-gay movements all over the world trumpet the importance of acceptance and inclusivity, yet gay communities globally refuse to acknowledge bisexuality as a legitimate orientation and discriminate against bisexuals based on this belief. In her article “Inside, Outside, Nowhere: Bisexual Men and Women in the Gay and Lesbian Community,” Kirsten Mclean examined the impact of bisexual attitudes on a group of 60 Australian bisexual men and women, “in terms of their perceptions of, and participation in, the gay and lesbian community.” Analyzing the range of biphobic attitudes within that homosexual community, Mclean’s study attempted to expose how these attitudes effect bisexual participation in said community. She found that, “though some participants were active within the Australian gay and lesbian community, many were not, due to the belief that they would be rejected or discriminated against as bisexual. Furthermore, those who did participate in the gay and lesbian community tended to keep their bisexuality hidden, for fear of being made unwelcome.” I related so much to that sentiment, having been called a “tourist” at a local gay bar when I mustered up the nerve to go with my fiance, a cis bisexual man. We left shortly after, feeling exiled to a life of languishing among the straights at tacky sports bars.

Ostracization from the gay community encourages bisexuals to pursue opposite-sex partners and fade into heteronormative society. A Pew Research Survey conducted in 2013 revealed that 84% of bisexuals end up in hetero relationships. Award-winning bisexual writer Kristina Marusic discussed this statistic, asserting that hetero relationships among bisexuals does not delegitimize their preferences and that the odds of a bisexual having an opposite-sex partner “fall enormously in their favor… the [percentage of the population that is LGBTQ] is actually closer to a scant 3.8 percent. So not only is it statistically more likely that a bisexual person will wind up with a partner of the opposite sex; it’s equally likely that they’ll wind up with someone from the over 96 percent of the population who identifies as straight.” In an interview with the HRC, an anonymous bisexual said “I wish that more people inside the gay community itself would support my decision to call myself bisexual. I am not being selfish. I am not a liar. I am not gay. I am not straight. I am bisexual.” Additionally, according to Mclean, “a large number of gay men and lesbians still flat-out refuse to date bisexuals.” Thus, many bisexuals couple with opposite-sex partners and identify as straight despite their true orientation, as is reflected by Marusic’s statistics.

The idea that there are two exclusive sexualities, gay and straight, has effectively gagged bisexuals, preventing their self-identification in the heterosexual and homosexual communities and ensuring their assimilation into heteronormative society. In her study “Living Life in the Double Closet: Bisexual Youth Speak Out,” Mclean states, “Dominant public discourses endorse heterosexuality and homosexuality as legitimate sexual identities, but do not recognize that some people are neither exclusively heterosexual nor exclusively homosexual.” Mclean interviewed 22 young bisexual people living in Melbourne, Florida. A bisexual woman herself, Mclean employed an interpersonal, interview approach to this research because she was “examining a group that had thus far been both silenced in traditional research on sexuality, but had also, for the most part, silenced themselves.”

There is nothing quite like silencing oneself, no greater discomfort than suppressing an inherent part of who you are. When I was twelve, I was at a large sleepover at a close friend’s house. Her older sister was “watching” our group of a dozen or so girls. At some point, a large bag of assorted liquors was procured. I have always been impulsive: always picking “Dare,” never scared to sneak out and certain in every situation that I was indestructible. As a seventh grader intent on proving my invincibility, I drank eagerly and abundantly. After taking several shots that blazed through my undeveloped chest and sent unfamiliar chills up my spine, I opened my eyes to the stars spinning above me where I lay in the lawn, both exhilarated and terrified at the realization that I was “completely smashed.” My next decipherable memory depicts me sitting semi-upright in the RV parked near the side of the house, the drunken faces of a few of the other girls swimming in front of me as I swayed.

Truth or Dare. I remember thinking, “This should be good.”

I was dared to kiss the girl next to me, a close friend who was as wasted as I was. I recall the nervous flip of my stomach as my lips neared hers. The Dare and I smushed our faces together clumsily. I could taste the vodka and orange juice on her mouth. I found myself falling into the kiss and she seemed receptive. We made out passionately as the other girls leered at us in an inebriated stupor. Eventually, they left us alone in the RV. I woke up the next morning in a crumpled heap on the floor of the RV; my eyelids crunched as I opened them and my lips were so dry they cracked when I sat up and coughed. The Dare was still asleep on the RV couch; last night’s events played through my head as I gazed at her sleeping face. I felt lighter than I ever had, despite having the worst hangover of my existence. I stumbled out of the camper and entered the house; girls were draped all over the furniture, looking at pictures from the previous night and nursing headaches. The room quieted when I entered; they stared at me, their faces inscrutable. I scrubbed my face with my hands to dislodge the various body fluids dried there. Under heavy surveillance, I procured some water and sprawled on the living room floor, head pounding and hands clammy.

“Z, do you remember anything about last night?” Someone asked. I sat up and put a palm to my throbbing temple. “Not really, did anyone get hurt?” I asked, doing a headcount of the girls in the room to see who was missing. Only The Dare was absent. “No..” Another girl piped up, “But you and The Dare like, hooked up.” She giggled anxiously. I flinched at the thinly veiled disgust in her voice, shrinking further and further into myself as I saw it reflected in the eyes of many of the other girls. Instantly, I realized my mistake.

It was a harmless thing to kiss a girl as a dare. It was another, far more heinous thing to enjoy it.

Panic engulfed me as my pubescent brain scrambled to find a way to maintain my position in the social hierarchy of my seventh grade class. Stalling, I sipped my water. I imagined being one of the “dykes” at school, of losing every inch of social capital I’d managed to attain. Frigid tendrils wrapped around my heart and, for the first time in my life, I consciously gave in to cowardice.

I feigned surprise as best I could: “What the fuck are you talking about?” I said, doing a small spit take to really sell it. A titter travelled through the room and girls started talking at once. “During truth or dare!” “You got dared to kiss her and you did!” “You were literally all over each other!” “She touched your boobs!” Their exclamations overlapped, the cacophony splitting my skull open. I silenced them with a shout of my own⁠— “Oh em GEEEE!” I yelled, burying my face in my hands so they couldn’t see the humiliation there. “I was completely wasted, I don’t remember anything. Did she have as much to drink as me?” I said. I knew that she’d been as drunk as I was⁠ but⁠— as I’d known (and maybe even hoped) it could⁠— the question changed the tide of the conversation. “You’re right,” a girl said from the couch, “she like.. Took advantage of you.”

That was not what I’d said but I let her comment fester as the other girls eyed me sympathetically. They no longer saw a lesbian; they saw the victim of one. My insides clenched uncomfortably and I ran to the bathroom, where I emptied my stomach into the toilet bowl.

I felt close to death as I leaned against the bathroom sink, staring at myself in the mirror. I remember my face so vividly: the self-loathing, the repulsion, the guilt and loneliness so clear on my young features as I silently tried to justify what I’d just done. My cheeks were sallow and slick with shameful tears and perspiration as I sweated liquor from my pores.

Not invincible, after all.

The Dare and I’s friendship was never the same. When our classmates made cruel remarks about what happened, I didn’t defend her. I apologized profusely to her after I came out in high school, but I know that wasn’t enough for the trouble I caused her. Though we were just kids experimenting, the reactions of the other girls solidified my denial of my bisexual identity for years to come. I tentatively called myself Bi-curious to a few close friends, but I’d temper it with comments like, “I think girls are pretty but I would never date one.” and “I don’t know how lesbians do it, vaginas are so weird!” My internalized homophobia manifested as a total denial of my bisexual identity when that identity threatened to make me even more of an outsider at my predominately white, conservative middle school. I had boyfriends and a social circle, but suicidal thoughts became a daily occurrence as the hatred I felt for myself deepened.

My experience is more common than I could’ve ever imagined then. After polling and interviewing hundreds of adolescents, the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) concluded that “bisexual youth were much less likely to be out to their families, friends, peers, and communities” than exclusively gay youth. Only 33 percent of UK bisexuals surveyed by the Scotland-based Equality Network felt comfortable telling their general practitioner about their sexual orientation, and nearly half had experienced biphobia when accessing health services. Though there are many variables that contribute to a person’s ability to come out⁠— including but not limited to social and political climate, familial relations, and personal values⁠— the UK’s statistics raise alarms about global attitudes regarding bisexuality and health concerns for bisexuals.

In the United States, lack of preventative care for queer folk begins in grade school, as proper sex education for students attracted to the same sex is sorely lacking. According to a 2017 report by Guttmacher Institute, of the 22 states that mandate sex-ed, only 12 are required to acknowledge sexual orientations. Of those 12 states, 9 mandate inclusive discussion of the different sexual orientations, and 3 “require only negative information on sexual orientation.” Poorly educated bisexuals are less likely to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases into adulthood. When The Dare and I were exploring each other, I had absolutely no frame of reference for what we were doing and how to do it safely aside from mainstream pornography tailored for hetero, cis male consumption. No lessons on safe queer sex were taught at my middle or high school; it angers me to know that is the norm.

Erasure impacts mental health as well as physical health for bisexual folk: according to the HRC, “Bisexual adults were also more likely to engage in self-harming behaviors, attempt suicide or think about suicide than heterosexuals, lesbians or gay men.” Bisexuals, especially adolescents, were also more likely to engage in risk taking behavior like alcohol and drug abuse, which negatively impacts both mental and physical health. HRC’s 2012 survey of LGTBQ youth found “only 5 percent of bisexual youth reported being very happy, compared to 8 percent of lesbian and gay youth and 21 percent of non-LGBT youth.” The HRC asserted that poor emotional well-being during adolescence translates into bisexual youth being “twice as likely” to experiment with drugs and alcohol. Furthermore, during research regarding the disparity between bisexual health and that of individuals in the exclusively gay and straight communities, the HRC found that “more than 40 percent of LGBT people of color identify as bisexual, and about half of transgender people describe their sexual orientation as bisexual or queer – making these groups vulnerable to further disparities that occur at the intersections of biphobia, racism and transphobia.”

The well-known yet oft-forgotten “Mother of Pride,” Brenda Howard, spent her life advocating against bi-erasure. She said, “The next time someone asks you why LGBT Pride marches exist or why Gay Pride Month is June tell them ‘A bisexual woman named Brenda Howard thought it should be.’” Until general attitudes in both the gay and straight communities change, bisexuals will continue to repress themselves and feel excluded from both groups. Bisexuals: never let the ignorance of others repress you. You aren’t confused, you aren’t inherently hypersexual and your queer identity is valid. Don’t let anyone, gay or straight, take away your seat at the Pride table.

[gildedmuse]

Anonymous asked:

do you like any of the one piece manga colorspreads? if yes, which ones?

(Apparently you cannot answer questions more than once which seems like a flaw. People can always change their mind.

Let's see, where did I leave off? Oh that's right. the Strawhats are a acid punk rock band now . So the obvious next step is...

Devil Fruit's Angels

That's right, in this universe the Strawhats aren't marauders of the sea. They're marauders of the open road.

Look at this badass biker gang. And I'm not abbreviating for motorcycles. Luffy heard there were such a thing as a biker gang and took it very literally. Best of all, he got eight people to go along with this.

Eventually, he accidentally tore the bottom wheel rim from his bike, the Going Merry, but then they met Franky and since he was unaware of Luffy's stupidity innocence at this time, he built him an actual damn motorcycle. Zoro painted the sidecar to look like a shark (okay technically Usopp did the painting and Zoro bitched about it but he loves it if anyone scratches that paint job they immediately find themselves with their blades in their face). He just lays there, sleeping, sometimes doing weights while letting Luffy drive a fucking motorcycle.

Love that Nami weighed up her choices and her and Robin decide to ride with Usopp. Let's face it, he is easily the most responsible rider. Well, that's why Nami choose him. Chopper has two designated seats: Usopp's basket and Zoro's lap. So of course Robin has to sit where she can see Chopper.

Also, LOOK HOW FUCKING CUTE CHOPPER IS IN A BASKET.

Brook seems to be riding a penny farthing which is pretty amazing. He probably just had one in his garage from his youth. Sanji has wisely decided to ride backwards bitchseat so that smoke doesn't fly back in his own face. I am unable to see what Franky is driving. I assume his bottom half turns into a motorcycle. I mean why not?

The Strawhat Gang does pretty much the exact same shit they do as Pirates. I mean, Luffy even falls into water just as often. How? It's Luffy that's how.

Law's little group of anarchist ride around in a yellow Volkswagen Beetle. Fight me.

Winter Wonder Island

IS THAT PENGUIN WEARING ZORO'S HARAMAKI? HOW DID HE GET IT? DIES ZORO KNOW? DID HE GIVE OT TO HIM? DID ZORO THINK THE PENGUIN'S BELLY MIGHT BE COLD?

I love Nami and Chopper playing, though Chopper looks less pleased. Plus the polar bear and Luffy are just the same person/bear. And nothing can convince me Robin isn't currently getting a back massage by a walrus. That is how my bitch roles.

The Straw Helmets

And we're back to the AUs.

Total honesty time: I picked this less put of love (though I enjoy most the AU ones) and more to annoy a friend.. See, I know many a Norwegian. They are a super nice country, you guys.

Who get super pissed at popular depictions of Vikings. Which are wrong.

And yet this particular reimagining is so wrong it's like gone full circle. I mean it's still nowhere near accurate but damn is it awesome. Are they riding walruses? Oda knows the Vikings had horses, right? And reindeer?

And yet he's gone with the well known domestic walrus. Huh. It's a choice.

Honestly, Franky and Usopp's costumes look more gladiator than Viking (also, I know you are a pervert Franky, but you literally gonna die of hypothermia.) Chopper is apparently one of those famous Japaness Vikings based on his costume design while Luffy is wearing something I can 100% imagine Doflamingo owned at some point. And Zoro....

Well, there is a reason I have a tag called Zoro's sense of direction and/or fashion. Look at that thing. That is a mess. I love it.

Get Wet

Nami, babe, me, Brook, Sanji, and apparently Robin a appreciate how sexy you're being right now.

But all I see is Zoro's damn fine back with water forming little riblets around his muscles. Also, love the boy's smile as he watches Luffy. He totally knows what's about to go down and thinks it's fucking hilarious.

They Call It The Grand Line

Every member of the coward trio (plus guest member Brook) is freaking the fuck out and I love it. Chopper and Nami are cling to one another, Brook's soul has left his body, and I'm pretty certain Usopp has half climbed into the seat in front of him to grab Zoro. Which I cannot blame him for.

Meanwhile, Robin is watching this whole spectacle with mild amusement, Sanji is straight up grilling... While on the back of a rollar coaster, Franky is chowing down on some of that food and Zoro... Zoro is getting drunk. On a rollar coaster.

The only one who seems to be having any fun is Luffy, sitting, of course, on his special seat. Look at that kid, he's having a blast. Well now we know how all the other Strawhats ended up here.

A Game Of Chicken

There's a lot I could say about this picture, but all I'm going to say is this: Zoro is clearly riding a weird ass chocobo.

What else can beat that?

Pirate Olympics: Where Everyone Is Winner Wanted Man

Oh, look, it's another AU one!

Look, over all, everyone has a sport that is either well suited to them (except maybe Brook. I mean soccer? Really? Not, like short distance sprinting since he's the fastest strawhat or fencing? If it were winter he could participate in the skeleton - yohohoho!).

Let's just amire Zoro playing baseball THREE BAT STYLE. LIke a goddamn boss.

You Know What's Awesome? Drugs.

It doesn't even matter what's going on in this one, it's goddamn beautiful.

Just Another Sunny Day

[You know when I said I haven't read the manga yet? Well, also terrible with visual images - the world should be in words in my opinion. So this, it turns out, is not a colorspread but fanart by the very talented Frayten who I deeply apologize to for not crediting earlier. I'm keeping it though, because it's amazing art, it's been reblogged and at least now it's properly credit on the main post. Many thanks to @blueriza to for being a better fan than I am.]

I really enjoy this little switch up. I want to believe it isn't just Law fucking with them but they've all inhaled some kind of mind switching pollen of something. So one day Law just came out to find Robin making breakfast and heart eyes at all the men, Sanji eating nothing but meet and bouncing around like he was made of rubber, Franky trying to play the violin, Chopper taling wild stories about when he was captain, Usopp training for a couple hours before passing out, Brook worrying over everyone's health, Nami striking posed while talking about how SUPER it all is, and Luffy, for once in his life, perfectly calm as he sits there reading.

That would be hilarious but, yeah, obviously it was Law. Look at how Nami Zoro is threatening him. She know exactly who pulled this shit. And look at Law's smug little smirk.

Hey, you suppose Law flirted with Nami Zoro? I know it's Nami but she's still got Zoro's abs and ass. Just throwing that out there.

[justasparkwritings]

Illicit Affairs: Clandestine Meetings

Pairings: Namjoon x Reader (barely) 

Genre: Angst 

Ratings: PG17

Word Count: 3.5K

Warnings: Manipulation, Abuse of Power, Swearing, Negotiations and Contracts

Summary: Namjoon has to grapple with the decisions he’s made and the lives he’s participated in destroying. 

Listen: illicit affairs by Taylor Swift

         Namjoon slipped into the conference room, sport coat over a hoodie and matching sweats. His hair quaffed back, glasses on, bag slung across his shoulder. He had been dreading this meeting for weeks, months. Every few years their contract with BigHit needed negotiating, and being the leader, the role of representing the best interest of the seven men fell to him. He loathed negotiations, detested the position they put him in, and absolutely despised the imbalance of power in the meetings. BTS had lawyers, but their lawyers still worked for BigHit. A defunct HR department more so than barristers dedicated to protecting their rights as performers, creators and men. This meeting was going to be worse than the others, if the sinking feeling in his gut was any indication. Not only was their contract nearly up, but they had the precarious position of trying to figure out what would happen during Jin’s military service, which would be followed by Yoongi and the 94’s. He knew the contracts would include some clause or addendum regarding the mandatory order, and he could only guess what new rules management would be placing on them.

           The entire Maknae Line was at risk, none of them would step up and lead, but if the plans to postpone service until Jin turned 30 was available, it would give the other members more time to grow out of childish early twenty-somethings into the grown men they had to be. The only bright spot in all of this was the fact that Jin would hopefully be back before the Maknae were truly alone, followed by Yoongi. Namjoon wasn’t comforted by the idea of Jin leading the group, but that was selfishness and pride speaking. Jin would be an excellent leader if given the opportunity.

          Namjoon was similarly dreading the conversation because a plan had to be created to mitigate the damage Jungkook was supposedly doing, and to inhibit him from destroying everything BigHit had accomplished in the last decade. Namjoon, being the keeper of the Golden Maknae, was going to be forced to sign papers that ensured Jungkook’s cooperation while he, Ho-Seok, Yoongi and Jin were gone.

           The grip BigHit had on the seven members could only be compared to Britney Spears conservatorship. She had her conservators, aka her father… and BTS had Bang. 

           Bang Si-hyuk was not a vicious man in nature. He was charismatic, charming, determined. He was not cruel, and he didn’t gain pleasure from watching BTS squirm. He had created BigHit to craft and groom Idols, capitalizing on the ever-booming K-Pop network and exploiting the talents of naïve youth and feeding on the despair of distressed parents. He preyed on the hungry, the poor, the outcasts, and he turned them into fucking billionaires. BTS was Midas, and Bang reaped all the benefits.

          Bang wasn’t the only one manipulating children, robbing them of their futures, their family, their ability to have any semblance of a normal life. Every other music group and K-Pop mastermind was feeding off of the same labors. Despite the hard facts of the BigHit company, and K-Pop culture, Bang had been wonderful to the boys. He was always laughing and joking with them, encouraging them to explore different musical whims or try new sounds. But he also ran a business, and Namjoon would be hard pressed to forget that fact. No matter how much Bang loved them, they were the golden ticket he’d worked his entire life to find.

          Namjoon was let into the conference room, where Bang and the team of BigHit lawyers sat, as well as a few people from marketing. Joon bowed, gave his greetings and sat down.

           “Namjoon, how are you?” Bang asked.

           “Fine, thank you, and you?” Namjoon was always polite, overly so.

           “Good, how’s Y/N?” Bang inquired.

          Namjoon cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the mention of his secret partner. “She’s great.”

          “Good, now, we wanted to speak to you about Jungkook,” Bang said, directing Namjoon’s gaze to the screen mounted on the wall. A slide show of Jungkook’s misgivings began to play. Namjoon cursed silently. This was the meeting they were having.

           “Alright,” Namjoon glanced down from the screen to his bag, where he pulled out and opened his notebook, pen poised at the ready.

           “We’re concerned with his displays of disobedience,” Bang continued.

           “Can you be more specific?” Namjoon asked.

           “The tattoos, the hair colors, the collaborating with less desirable artists, his refusal to participate in V Lives, his general disregard for the rules, and the growing alcoholism,” Bang listed.

           “He’s having growing pains,” Namjoon tried to level with him.

           “He is grown, he has debuted, he has a contract,” Bang said.

           “Jungkook wants to express himself, and he’s trying to find ways to do that,” Namjoon offered. Couldn’t they find a compromise? Not on the drinking, Namjoon would fully admit that was a problem.

           “Ways that are damaging to all of you,” The marketing team said, side eyeing Joon.

           “Respectfully, they are not,” Namjoon said.

           “Jimin is getting tattoos,” Bang retorted.

           “Jimin is his own person,” Namjoon rebuffed.

           “Jimin is influenced by Jungkook.”

          “We’re all influenced by one another, it’s been a decade, we spend every day together, it’s bound to happen.” Namjoon was growing impatient.

          “You were supposed to keep an eye on him, but between you and Jin, you’ve led him astray,” Bang accused.

           “I’m not sure that’s fair,” Namjoon said, breathing heavily through his nose, “Jungkook is making decisions for himself, he can decide what to do with his body. It’s his after all.”

           “The decisions he is making effect all seven of you,” Bang countered.

           “They aren’t effecting us negatively, ARMY loves his tattoos, they spend so much time trying to decipher what they mean. His entire hand is dedicated to BTS and ARMY.”

           “They do not fit the image of this company,”

           “Then why didn’t you fire him? He is always covered, always. We all are,” Namjoon shook his head.

           “Aside from the tattoos, his desire to not participate in group filmings is unacceptable, and there’s still the problem of his drinking.”

           “Have you had this conversation with Jungkook?” Namjoon asked.

           “Yes, but you need to follow through on your obligations, Namjoon,” Bang’s words cut.

           “Yes sir, I will.” Namjoon bowed.

           “Jungkook needs to know his place if he is to make it through your military service. The four of you leaving in succession will destroy everything we’ve built. Jungkook and the Maknae line will be what remains while you are serving and recovering from active duty. If Jungkook doesn’t know what his place is, you will have nothing to return to.” Bang was an absolutist. Nothing was grey, it was clearly defined or could be with a few lines in their next contract.

           “Jungkook is the best of all of us, he can handle it.”

           “He needs to stop collaborating with low charting American artists, and British pop groups formed on reality shows. It’s lowering exposure in western markets and putting a damper on sales of BTS albums. He also needs to stop getting tattoos. A full sleeve is more than enough.”

           “Sir, what will Jungkook do when he’s, thirty?”

           “Depends what his contract says.”

           Namjoon bowed his head.

           “The Maknae line needs to be prepared for when the four of you are gone. They do not have a clear leader; they spend their time giggling and joking around. Who will step up?”

           “Taehyung would be a great leader, so would Jungkook or Jimin. The Maknae work well together, as a subunit they are strong. They are excellent singers and dancers, Jungkook has excelled at creating videos, Jimin’s song writing has improved ten times over as has his leadership, and Taehyung has excellent taste, an impeccable palate as an art director. The three of them are capable of handling themselves, when Jin-hyung and Yoongi-hyung are done with service, the five of them will excel at creating their own work.”

           “Namjoon, you seem to think that people want music produced by three vocalists,”

           “Taehyung can rap, so can Jungkook.”

           “What makes you so certain they’ll rise to the occasion?” Bang asked.

           “They have to and they will,” Namjoon said, voice determined.

           “Good, now, your contracts are coming up in a few months, and we need to look at a few details,” Bang motioned for the legal team to join, and they passed Namjoon a copy of their current contract. The marketing team left quietly, bowing and slipping out the door almost unnoticed.

           “Shouldn’t Jin be here? Or the other members?” Namjoon asked, eyes scouring the familiar pages. “I don’t think I should be the lone member in these negotiations.”

           “You’re the leader,” Bang stated.

           “It’s their careers and futures, sir,” Namjoon bowed his head, unwilling to show any disrespect.

           “The decision was made that you were the leader, are you not?”

           “I am but –

           “But nothing, you are the liaison, you will communicate any changes in your contracts to them before they come in to sign them.” Bang said. The lawyers nodded in unison.

           “Are there changes?” Namjoon asked.

           “Yes, we have put a note by all the changes, take a minute to read them.” One of the lawyers said.

           Namjoon glanced at the notes sticking out, how could there be so many changes? His eyes glanced over the first change.

           Heretofore, no member of BTS may publicly or privately engage in romantic relationships with members of the same or opposite sex. Promiscuous or philandering behavior will not be tolerated and could result in expulsion or a financial penalty.

           Any article, Tweet, TikTok or Instagram post about any relationship that a BTS member is engaging in will result in said member paying the fee for scrubbing said incident from the media and any subsequent scandals or fines.

           He read it again.

           “Why this change in relationship status?”

           “It’s not a change, but a clarification,” A lawyer said.

           “A clarification of what? That if anyone is attracted to the same sex, they can’t be with them?” Namjoon raised his eyebrow, unsure who told Bang the Kinsey scale leanings of the seven members.

           “It is to cover all bases,” The lawyers ensured. “To prohibit unfavorable pairings, pregnancies, diseases or most likely, scandals.”

           “How much is this fee?” Namjoon asked, eyes wide.

           “Depends on the member, some ten thousand, others, hundred thousand,” One of the lawyers said.

           “What about me?” He whispered.

           “Your contract continues to state that you are allowed to date as long as it is kept 100% in secret, absolutely private, and should you break up, she signs an NDA stating that she will not speak ill of you, your relationship, BTS or any members in perpetuity. Should she break this agreement, a fine of one million dollars will be paid.” Another lawyer answered.

           Namjoon nodded, the agreement of your relationship had caused a lot of fights, a lot of bickering, a lot of tears. Namjoon had to be certain you were the one in order to get Bang to let him even take you out or call you.

          Namjoon adjusted his glasses before moving to the next note.

           BigHit remains the sole proprietor of all content, music, lyrics, and productions created by BTS. This includes all solo work created on company property, with company studios and materials. All artwork, publishing rights and revenue belongs in perpetuity to BigHit. BTS members have access to their catalogue and revenue through BigHit’s legal team and through written permission from management. All recordings, voice memos, music videos and song samples used in any BTS created content may not be used by any members for solo projects not produced by BigHit.

           Namjoon read the words over and over. He glanced at their old contract, noting the slight changes in the paragraph from their previous agreement.  

           In perpetuity to BigHit.

           Everything they’d ever made, everything they’d ever done, from debut to now, belonged to BigHit. This wasn’t new information, this wasn’t shocking, but in perpetuity, forever and ever and ever… Namjoon couldn’t wrap his head around it.

           “Can I take this home?” Namjoon asked, looking at the team, a cold sweat coating his back.

           “Both copies?” A lawyer asked hesitantly.

           “I need to read through it, to process it, I need a little time, if allowed,” Namjoon cleared his throat.

           “Fine, bring your thoughts to our next meeting. You all must sign this before your current contract is up, and before one of you leaves for Military Service. You have a week,” Bang and his crew stood up, and Namjoon followed suit, bowing before collecting his items.

           As he entered the dorm, he noted the chaotic calm of their living quarters. Though they drifted from their own apartments into the shared space, it was common that in the evenings they would share a meal, watch a movie or play games together. Jungkook was trying to beat Yoongi in some video game, Jin was laughing with Ho-Seok and Taehyung, and Jimin was vocalizing in the kitchen, making what looked like a cup of tea. Namjoon nodded at them waving hello before disappearing into his room.

           He sat at his desk, looking at his blossoming plants, and pulled the papers out, moving from the first few pages to the next tabs.

           He found the corresponding paragraph in their current contract and compared.

           Their current contract stipulated that BTS would be credited as producers only on tracks they produced a minimum of 50% of. The new contract stipulated that they had to produce 75% of the track in order to receive credit.

           The next line stated that lyrical credits only went to artists that wrote 2/3 of the lyrics of every song, rap lines included. The remaining percentage went to the producer.

           Namjoon stared at the page. How would that be possible, with seven members, to receive credit for anything? As he continued reading, he found himself growing angrier and angrier at every page. He knew he’d signed his life away; he knew it years ago. But this? This was tearing his limbs off his body and feeding it to the wolves.  

           He picked up his phone and called you.

           “Hey babe, what’s up?” You asked, chipper disposition finding a way to travel across the globe to Korea.

           “The new contract is, it’s fucking awful,” Namjoon said, dropping his pen and running a hand through his hair.

           “How could it be worse?” You questioned. “It’s like, two hundred pages of absolute bullshit.”

           “The phrase in perpetuity has been used more than once,” He said.

           “No!” You gasped.

           “They added new language about dating and relationships too,” Namjoon told you.

           “With the sub section that you, as leader, have been afforded this one privilege over the others?” You inquired, setting your sleepy-time tea down.

           “You know that’s only in my contract,” He said, a faint smile on his lips.

           “Still, they aren’t changing that?” You hinted at your worry.

           “I’m surprised they haven’t put more stipulations on it: Namjoon can date but only Korean women of a certain age and height,” He laughed darkly.

           “Namjoon can date but cannot spend the night or engage in sexual activity, or any activity that could lead to the creating of a child, including jacking off in a hot tub,” You deadpanned.

           “Namjoon can date, but only if she has no idea who BTS is,” Namjoon chuckled.

           “Hmm, seems like you’re going to an indigenous tribe with no internet,” You suggested.

           “I just want you,” Namjoon whispered.

           “I know, babe,” You said. “tell me more about the contract.”

           “I don’t know what to do, it’s iron clad, they’ve got us where they want us, and they won’t let go,” He sighed heavily, already exhausted and he hadn’t moved past the fifth post-it.

           “They’re trying to get everything they can from you before you guys go serve,” You stated.

           “It just seems so, degrading.”

           “That they want all these things from you?” You asked.

           “That they think they can control us,” Namjoon said.

           “I thought they did,” You replied.

           “I, yeah, yeah they do.” He sighed again, his heart weighing heavy.

           “So, what’s so different about this time?” You asked.

           “They only ever negotiate with me, they never speak to the other guys,”

           “And?” You pressed.

           “And, I have to read this, ask the lawyers questions, and present it to the guys. They’re going to absolutely shit themselves. It literally says that members are required to complete a minimum of six hours of V Live per year, with a bonus given every additional hour completed,”

           “What?” Your gasp was beyond audible.

           “And, if a scandal ever arises, we have to pay to have it wiped from the media.”

           “I mean, okay, that one I can see making a little sense.”

           “Someone must’ve tipped them off to who we’re attracted to, because there’s a new stipulation that you can’t date any one of any sex, period.”

           “Shut up! They can’t do that!”

           “Oh, they did,”

           “Holy fuck, they did… Who told?” You asked.

           “No idea, but they’re going to be so angry,” Namjoon agreed.

           “The discrimination…”

           “The worst part? They own everything,” Namjoon said.

           “Is that different?” You wondered. Namjoon had asked you to read over the contract years ago, when it was up for another negotiation. You’d asked your dad to take another look, his expertise in the industry proving to be useful. He didn’t have anything to say other than he felt bad for BTS, no rights, no representation, no ability to change the situation.

           “In perpetuity, no chance to buy it back, no chance to own anything we’ve ever created, from debut to now.”

           “Oh Joon,” You could hear the despair in his voice, the anguish, the hurt. Everything he’d ever worked for wasn’t his, and he knew it never would be.

           “I feel so, responsible, like everything’s my fault,” Namjoon said dejectedly.

           “Well, are you?” You pushed.

           “It didn’t used to be this way. I mean, it did. They picked me first, they chose me to start this whole thing. They wanted me to help create this band that could be the next big thing. It was all I wanted, to rap, to make music, to help people heal through music, like I did. I had influence on who they put in the group, on why we have seven members instead of five or three… they listened to me, my vision… It was my group; sure, they pulled in Seokjin and gave me a list of people to look at… but BTS was mine. I signed the first contract, I read the terms and conditions, I signed us up for this.”

           “Namjoon, you didn’t know,” Your heart was breaking.

           “I knew better than to sign it all away,” His voice cracked.

           “You were a child, Joon, a child,” You told him.

           “I knew-

           “No, you didn’t, they preyed on you. They used your insecurities, your desolation, your pain, and they fucking groomed you to need them, to be indebted to them. They did this to you.” Namjoon listened as you started crying, your words trying to speak the truth he couldn’t see.

           “But I signed the contract,” Namjoon said. “It was impossible that we’d be anything.”

           “You became everything,” You said.

           “I signed their lives away, our rights, our work… I signed Jungkook,” Namjoon hadn’t realized the tears that had started falling. He let the weight of his statement run through him as the tears, like a winter storm, didn’t cease. “I signed Jungkook’s future away. He has nothing because of me.”

           “Namjoon,”

           “He can’t ever have a wife, he can’t have a family, he’s working himself to an early grave, he has no ability to understand what life is like outside of this, no ties to who he is as a person because he doesn’t know. Jungkook is an amalgamation of the six of us, he isn’t even his own! Nothing is his, and it’s my fucking fault.”

           You listened to Namjoon’s cries, his sobs giving way to the dark thoughts he’d been avoiding for years. You listened to your cries mixing with his, distress flowing between receivers. You listened as he tried to rationalize it, tried to make sense of the damage he’d done. But he couldn’t, and you didn’t have anything to offer.

           “Can you talk to Seokjin or Yoongi?” You whispered, Namjoon’s sobs subsiding.

           “I’m not supposed to,” Namjoon said in between ragged breaths.

           “Fuck supposed to, do you want to talk to them?”

           “Yeah,” He said, sniffling the chunks of snot back into his nasal passages.

           “I think it would be good, healthy for you to share this burden with them. You can’t carry this alone, Namjoon, not anymore,” You encouraged.

           “I know,”

           “Please, talk to them.” You said, voice soft.

           “I will, I will.” Namjoon promised.

           “I love you, Kim Namjoon, endlessly,” You said, the declaration firm and exact as it flowed from your lips. It punctured the air around Namjoon, and he glanced to the singular photo he had framed of you.

           “I love you too, endlessly.” He whispered.

           As he hung up, eyes drifting towards the papers on his desk, he realized the saving grace of clandestine meetings: no one expected you to show their truth.

Next: A Million Little Times

[purplesurveys]

1264

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube?  Oh man, I’m probably subscribed to over a hundred, if not 200. I’ve subscribed to channels relevant to interests I’ve had over the years, and since it’s not my habit to do spring cleaning on my feeds, the subscriptions have just keep piling up even if I no longer keep up with literally like 98% of them.

Do you like to go to the farmer's market?  I don’t think I’ve ever been in one yet. They aren’t very common here and the ones we do have are pricey and mostly inaccessible to the everyday consumer, I’m sure.

What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be?  I wouldn’t want any other color than white.

What's your favorite melon?  I don’t like fruits.

What was the name of the last pet of yours that died?  Arlee. Technically my family mostly considered her as just Nina’s pet, but the sting was felt all the same when we learned she died.

When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with?  Yesterday, because it was Friday. Pretty self-explanatory, I wanted to get to the weekend so I can finally let go of work for a couple of days.

Name one person you've never had a fight with:  Andi. I think we’re both afraid of pissing the other off, which works out for us lol.

What are you currently listening to?  I can just hear the really loud whirring of my electric fan because it’s a grossly humid day today.

What would you rather have: cat or dog?  Dogs.

Who is your least favorite person in real life?  I have a lot of uncles I just don’t like.

Do you ever watch anybody's live stream of... anything, really?  Technically, yeah. I will sometimes tune in to livestreams of lofi music on YouTube, but I do it to listen, not to watch. 

Does your house have security cameras?  No.

If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be?  I think I might dye it for a certain period of time, but I also think I would eventually reach the point where I’ll just accept it and slowly let go of the dye.

What was the last establishment you stopped going to due to bad service? What happened?  I haven’t run into much bad service, but I’ll never forget how long my order and bill took for Mad Mark’s. I never really vowed per se to never go back there again and I definitely didn’t confront the staff, but I haven’t eaten there since that incident.

What soundtrack do you listen to the most?  Not a big soundtrack listener.

Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult?  Nah, they’re kept from us until now. The biggest one I’ve heard about was having a kleptomaniac in the family but we were never told who it is.

Do you have an opinion most people you meet seem to disagree with you?  Yeah, my dislike for fruits.

What’s something you like to have many options to choose from?  Clothes, I guess, like bucket hats. I don’t shop a lot and clothes aren’t a priority in my budget, so when I do pick out clothes, it has to be exactly what I want so that I don’t feel it was a waste of money.

What’s the strangest decorative object you own?  We have several quirky, disconnected decor in the living room from gifts we’ve acquired over the years. One object I can tell you about is the polar bear glass figurine we have on the coffee table.

What’s a thing you couldn’t imagine doing with your life right now?  Dating around.

What’s been your proudest moment?  Managing to stay alive this year and turn my life around for the better when I thought there was no hope.

What’s the filthiest non-pornographic movie you’ve seen?  Eyes Wide Shut, probably.

Do you know anyone who doesn't seem to be fond of animals?  I don’t think so. Like any animal...? I would find that quite odd, honestly. And I wouldn’t want to be friends with them if we weren’t already close .

Are you planning any outings or trips anytime soon? Whereabouts?  No, nothing set in stone. I do want to fly out to South Korea soon, though.

Do you know anyone who has a phobia of a certain animal?  I know a few people who are afraid of dogs.

Is there a particular brand of technology/electronics that you prefer?  Yeah, Apple.

Is there a singer whose voice gives you goosebumps/chills?  Hayley Williams and Jin, especially when he’s belting; and I don’t listen to her much, but I find that Billie Eilish has a unique voice that sounds really nice.

And is there a singer whose voice you simply can't stand?  Selena Gomez for some of her songs, Meghan Trainor for most of her songs.

Are there any authors that are particularly dominant on your bookshelf?  No.

Have you seen any photographs or videos that made you smile today?  Sure.

Which item in your fridge are you most looking forward to consuming? My aunt sent over this gigantic-ass slab of salmon that I can’t wait to eat as sashimi. I already had a few pieces last night and it was hea ven ly.

Has anyone you know got into a new relationship lately?  Hmm, I don’t think so. I know my coworker Dev got into a relationship a few weeks ago but it fizzled out as soon as it started because the guy was shitty.

If you menstruate, do you experience much PMS prior to it?  Only on the emotional side; I rarely get physical symptoms. I usually feel down or emotionally heavy a few days before my period.

Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to?  No, I don’t have any tattoos. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind?  Hmm, like last night. I wanted to stay up to maximize the weekend, buuuut I decided against it and slept instead since I had been up since 2 in the morning.

When was the last time you did something on a whim?  Two weeks ago when I impulsively dropped a thousand bucks to have cheese tarts delivered to Angela and Reena, hahaha.

Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you?  My mom, grandma, and one of my aunts were the main people who raised me. Dad works overseas, so he was never at home much.

Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week?  No, I wouldn’t do that.

Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’  Mik tried to pair me with one of his friends just days before I finally implied on social media that I was no longer in a relationship. It was a cool ego boost but I declined, since my emotions were still super turbulent then. Andi tried to initiate sex with me once too, but I also declined.

What is your card game of choice?  I hate card games; I can never seem to understand them lmao, though that’s really more of a me problem than anything else.

What is your favourite books series?  Growing up, I really loved the Septimus Heap series. But the thing about it was that I got into it while the series was still ongoing; and with how bad my attention span is, I always forgot the events/plot whenever the newest book came out. 

So whenever that happened I had to read the entire series from Book 1; eventually the number of books I had to reread/revisit became too many (it was a seven-part series) and I simply just lost the time to read and I never got to know about the conclusion.

Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions?  Street names – more precise. Landmarks to me can be pretty subjective – a green building might look blue to me, and I could just end up being lost.

Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books?  Sure.

What was your favourite gym class moment?  If I genuinely like or already play the sport that was being taught. That’s why PE table tennis was a lot of fun for me.

Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun?  I’ve never been on one but I imagine they are fun, yeah.

Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks?  That’s not a tradition here.

Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie?  No. I was too young for Scooby-Doo in a sense that I do remember watching the movies as a 3/4 year old as they were kept on in the background at home, but I didn’t get any of the plots/didn’t really appreciate the films.

Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down?  Sometimes, yeah. If the fall looked nasty I would obviously be concerned.

Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past?  Honestly, only one of my grandparents would be the type to do this but he’s been dead for six years now. It’s a big shame he passed before I could bond with him the way I had always wanted to. My three other grandparents are either too closed off or too quiet to share stories from their youth.

Do you have a crush on someone? Nah, nothing more than a celebrity crush.

If so... what does his/her name begin with? 

What attracts you to them? 

Do they know that you like them? 

If they don't know, why didn't you tell them? 

Name two people that you miss:  Angela and Laurice.

Have you ever seen Titanic?  More times than I can count. I’m sure I memorize like 80% of the script, too.

Have you ever swam with dolphins?  No. I’m not so sure if I’ve seen dolphins, either. Maybe I have? Or maybe I’m confusing it with whales...idrk.

When was the last time you had a stomachache?  Wednesday.

What's going to bed early for you?  11 PM or midnight.

Do you want to have a big family in the future?  I used to, but I don’t think that’s the future I want anymore. One or two kids should be okay.

What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush?  Technically speaking, an orgasm, I guess?? Lmao idk

Favorite Nicholas Cage movie?  I don’t think I have one.

Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have?  Yeah, I’m fully dosed. Sinovac.

If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects?  I was suuuuuuper tired right after my first dose and I wanted to be knocked the fuck out, but I went right back to work after the shot because I am allergic to filing leaves hahaha. Second dose went smoothly.

What's the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself?  A bucket hat or maybe one of the Fila x BTS shirts because the collection is actually quite cute!

What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful?  I join Facebook groups to be entertained, not because I actively look for advice.

Do you like your butt? Why or why not?  Yeah. It...has a good form hahahahahaha.

Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia?  Yes, a few years ago I went to a food park with my ex-girlfriend. I was already not feeling my best that day to begin with, so having to see an old woman stare daggers at us for what felt like years really stung. I felt small under her look and almost cried, but in the end I felt angry that I momentarily felt shame about my relationship. I decided to just piss the woman off on purpose and do PDA right in front of her.

Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I have two dogs at present and I know they make me extremely happy.

Who was the last person you went on a date with?  Gabie.

Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid?  No. The first and only time I was hospitalized (other than being birthed), I was about 12, I think.

What’s your favorite way to curl your hair?  I don’t do that. I rarely style my hair.

At what age did you start swearing?  I was 11.

What is something you physically can’t do?  Ride a bike.

What do like better, apples or oranges?  I don’t like any fruits; but in terms of flavored stuff, I like orange-flavored food, especially chewy candy, slightly more.

Around the holidays, do you hope for snow?  Well, no.

What are your top two favorite bands?  Paramore and Against Me!

How many people do you 100% trust?  There are a handful. I generally trust easily just because I like to believe all people are kind and loyal – but I can also take it away in the snap of a finger.

Do you care what others think about you?  Not so much.

Has anyone ever called you a bitch?  Sure.

Did you watch Teletubbies when you were younger?  Yeah but just super super faint memories. It wasn’t one of my main shows.

Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license?  I don’t.

Could you live the rest of your life without eating meat?  I doubt it. I could try, but I think I’d get cranky and start looking for meat way earlier than I would like to admit.

Have you ever had a rolling backpack?  Yup, if you mean a stroller. I think I’ve answered this on a previous survey.

Did you make any money today?  No, because it’s a weekend. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from?  Nothing dramatically high. I’ve had acrophobia-themed nightmares in the past, so even though I don’t actually have a fear of heights, the idea of jumping from a high place still makes me antsy.

Have you ever gone swimming in a river?  Not that I can recall.

What was the last souvenir someone got you?  I dunno if it counts but Andi bought merch from the AEW shop but made sure to also get a CM Punk sticker set for me :(

Do you have a favorite remix of a song?  Remixes have never been my thing. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument?  Piano.

Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies?  Yeah they can definitely affect the level of appreciation I hold towards a film. For instance, if I genuinely enjoyed a movie only to find out it has average to bad reviews, it invites me to think more critically about the movie.

Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar/etc.)?  No.

If you had $500,000, what would you do with it?  Give half to my parents and let them do whatever they wish it. With the remaining P12,500,000, I’d probably get myself my own condo and have it fully furnished, then get braces, then get a new phone and laptop. I’ll have a bunch of money still left, I’m pretty sure – the rest of it I’ll save.

Did the last person you touched lips with have a kid?  No. I mean, I have honestly no clue what’s going on in her life now, but I know she doesn’t want kids so this is very unlikely.

"First loves are never really over." Is this true for you?  It’s true in a sense that she left me a lot of trauma and self-esteem issues that will irrevocably always be a part of me now even though I’ve worked hard to resolved most of them by myself.

Did you like Michael Jackson before he died?  Yes, because he has always been my favorite singer’s role model.

What are some things that would make you break up with someone?  I don’t know how to answer this question, honestly. All the red flags were thrown and tossed and slapped into my face and down my throat for six years yet I never left. I don’t actually know what my limits are, and I believe it’s because my coping mechanism has to just accept things and suck them up no matter how bad they get. That’s what I’m trying to change for myself now.

What was the worst breakup you've ever had?  I’ve had two breakups with the same person, and the second one was worse.

[our-time-is-now]

July 19, 2019 (2): Dreaming of an empty flatshare

(previous play)

You can find more information about the authors, translators, content warning and additional information about the plays in the pinned post on our blog.

Friday, 10:34 am / 11:42 am / 7:08 pm:

David: *grins and shakes his head* I made this statement completely unbiased! *but then hears that he believes in it himself and also that Hanna has said something along those lines and nods* You see! *squeezes him close and keeps one arm around his waist when he pulls away again* *immediately shakes his head at his question* I don’t think so… it’s a youth center… Well, I wouldn’t show up there in sweatpants, but just a normal jeans and t-shirt combo? That should be enough… Or jeans and a shirt? *then hears Sam yell: “Daaaaveeeenziiii! Breeeeeakfaaaaast!"* *groans quietly* If today continues like yesterday and we don’t even have two minutes to ourselves, can we please try to escape!?

Matteo: *laughs slightly* Of course… *can’t help but to grin again, because that could really work out* *then nods slightly* Yes, I think I’ll go for jeans and a shirt – nothing too much but also not too casual… *then also hears Sam’s yells and sighs* Definitely… we’ll abscond… that has to work out today… *then hears her yell again and yells back* WE’RE COMING! *wraps his arm around David and they go to the cabin*

David: *sighs half-smilingly, half frustratedly, when Matteo agrees to escape and presses another kiss to his cheek after he yelled in the direction of the cabin* *then goes to the cabin with him and sees that the others are all really already awake and sitting at the breakfast table* *grins at everyone* Good morning! Why are you up so early?! *hears Kiki: "The sun is shining, today's a nice day, we have many plans..."* *groans quietly and then hears Sam: "Counter question: What took you so long!?”* *smiles at Matteo so that he can tell them, and already sits down on his seat* *reaches for the coffee pot and pours some for Matteo and himself*

Matteo: *groans slightly when Kiki says that they have many plans* Like what? *then hears Sam's question and grins immediately* *sits down on his seat next to David and briefly grins at Hanna before he announces it* The youth center where I want to do my Voluntary Year called... they want to meet me and invited me to an interview... *can hear that Hanna is the first one to cheer before the others join in* *sees Hanna come to him and hug him: "I'm so happy for you, congratulations!”* *gets a little embarrassed and waves it off* Thanks...

David: *smiles when everyone cheers and when Hanna even gets up to hug Matteo* *cuts open two bread rolls and already puts one of them down on Matteo’s plate while somehow everyone is talking over each other* *hears Sam: “Oh God, and I yelled so loudly! Sorry if I interrupted!” and Abdi: “Would be awesome if that worked out – then all of us would really have found something immediately after the Abi!” and Hanna: “I’m sure it’ll work out! Oh, I really want it to work out! I don’t want to go to those seminars by myself…” and Kiki: “Do we still have champagne!? We should actually toast to it!” and Carlos: “Well, he doesn’t have the job yet! We’ll toast once he has it for sure!” and Mia: “Which youth center did you apply to, Matteo? Do we know it?”* *grins over at Matteo, who is suddenly the center of attention, while he starts spreading butter on the bread roll halves* *feels his annoyance toward the group disappear and once again thinks how great it is how much everyone can be happy for the others*

Matteo: *is a little overwhelmed and in awe of the reaction* *agrees with Carlos that he doesn’t have the job yet* Yes, we’ll toast once I know for certain… and then properly. *grins slightly* *then looks at Mia and slightly shakes his head* No, I don’t think so, well, I didn’t know it before… it’s called Lambda… *hesitates briefly but then says* I’s a youth center especially for queer youth… *hears Abdi immediately say: “Well, then they’ll surely take you!”* *pffs slightly* Being gay isn’t enough to get hired, Abdi.

David: *puts a slice of cheese on one of the halves and pushes it over onto Matteo’s plate* *then reaches for the salami while Matteo tells them what kind of youth center Lambda is* *grins slightly at Abdi’s words and then hears Carlos: “Hey, but maybe you can score some extra points if you say that your boyfriend is transgender and you know a lot about that topic and such…”* *laughs quietly and says to Matteo* You’re welcome to make use of that fact to score some extra points… *but then tells Carlos and Abdi* … but I also don’t really think that it matters. Of course it’s nice if you know something about the topic, but as a cis and/or hetero person you can also do some research and inform yourself and be tolerant, as you can see with all of you guys. *reaches for the jam while he keeps talking* But I still think that they’ll take Matteo. Somehow that fits and they’ll surely see it the same way… *spreads jam on the next half and then looks at Matteo questioningly because he isn’t sure if he’d rather have salami or jam to his cheese roll*

Matteo: *grins slightly at Carlos’ words and slightly shakes his head* *tells him and also David* I’ll definitely won’t exploit it… but I’ll still tell them… I do need September 13th off, after all… *then nods again at David’s words* Exactly, it’s about the fact that you can work with young people… and a homophobic or transphobic person wouldn’t apply in the first place, right? *then smiles slightly when David says that he thinks they’ll take him* *also hears Jonas agree: “Definitely, Luigi, they’d be stupid if they didn’t!”* *then looks at his plate and sees that there’s already half a bread roll for him* *looks at David and quietly says* Thanks… *then sees him look at the halves questioningly and grins* Salami, please…

David: *smiles slightly when Matteo mentions September 13th and murmurs* But only mention it if it’s the right moment… *doesn’t want him to maybe not get the job just because he really wants to take that day off and plans on talking to him about it again before the interview on Wednesday* *still hears the girls “aww” at his plan – except Sam, who asks: “Huh? What’s on September 13th?” and who consequently gets hit by Kiki* *then nods at Matteo’s words and only smiles when he thanks him for the bread roll* *also pushes the half with the salami on it onto Matteo’s plate and reaches for the salami again for the fourth bread roll half* *then hears Jonas: “Umm, David, and I’d like one half with ham and one half with jam, no butter but instead with cream cheese…”* *gives him the secretary’s-office-look and says* You had time to fix your own food! Matteo had to answer your questions! *then laughs briefly* Besides, you have Hanna! *sees Jonas turn to Hanna and hears him say: “Hanna, I’d like one half with ham and one half with jam, no butter but instead with cream cheese…” and sees Hanna flip him off* *hears Kiki: “Well, I think it’s really cute of David to fix Matteo’s food – you could also do that for a change, Carlos!”* *groans quietly and hopes that their relationship won’t be discussed again* *before Carlos or someone else can say anything else he quickly asks* So what are the plans for today? Why did we have to get up so early?

Matteo: *doesn’t say anything to David’s objection* *knows that he doesn’t want him to risk anything but he’s really sure that he would even drop the job if that means he can be there on this day* *doesn’t pay any more attention to Sam when she asks and then grins at Kiki gratefully when she hits Sam* *smiles at David when he pushes the salami half on his plate* Thanks… *pffs when Jonas puts his order with David* *was just about to make a comment when David already defends himself* *laughs when Hanna flips him off* *then also hears Kiki and grins* *thinks it’s somehow funny that he and David are suddenly such a poster couple* *thinks that they are not doing it “because they could do that for a change” but because it’s just what they do* *grins slightly when David smoothly changes the subject* *then hears Kiki: “Mia has told me about a great meadow she found on a walk with Alex. We all wanted to go there, with blankets and food for a picnic and a lot of sports stuff, badminton, volleyball and stuff like that and then I thought we could hold a little tournament there…”* *groans very loudly* Noooo….

David: *is glad that they are really changing the subject and listens to Kiki while taking a bite off his bread roll* *thinks the idea is actually quite good and nods* *then hears Matteo groan and elbows him in the side* Come on – this is going to be fun! *hears Amira: “We thought we could stay there over lunch – hence the food!” and Mia: “But unfortunately the meadow is quite a bit away from the lake, that’s why we are planning on coming back in the afternoon so that we can all go for another swim. It’s our second-to-last day today, after all!” and Abdi: “But we’ll definitely also bring a football!” and Kiki: “And tonight another game night! So far, we only had one game night and we only played Taboo. I don’t want to have brought all the other games in vain!”* *frowns, after all, when he realizes that the whole day has been planned out once again and briefly looks over at Matteo* *hopes that they can really abscond at some point*

Matteo: *sighs when David also likes the idea* *rolls his eyes and shrugs* Okay… *takes a sip of his coffee and then hears the rest of the plan* *hears that the day is completely planned out and the evening, as well, and is annoyed again* *wonders why this doesn’t annoy any of the other couples and if he’s really so different* *looks at David and whispers very quietly* What did we say about an escape attempt?

David: *grins slightly at Matteo’s words and is glad and grateful that he has a similar opinion* *leans over to him and quietly says* Yes, please! If not before, then during the game night at the latest! *looks at the others and thinks that they’re all looking quite content, apart from Alex* *meets his gaze and grins slightly* *thinks that he probably also doesn’t really feel like having a game night* *but finds it somehow strange that the other couples somehow don’t seem to mind not having time to themselves* *reaches for Matteo’s hand under the table while Kiki goes over the plan again: “So, Abdi, Sam and Amira are on kitchen duty. The others can go to the bathroom and those who aren’t in the bathroom can already start packing and making sandwiches for lunch…”*

Matteo: *eventually they all arrive at the meadow* *they spread out blankets on the floor, Kiki puts down two water bottles on each of the blankets and the group spreads out a little* *Amira immediately claims David to practice badminton and Matteo finds himself on a blanket with Jonas and Carlos* *at first watches the others for a while* *then sees Hanna and Kiki with a volleyball and looks at the two guys beside him* *thinks that those are his best friends and he can ask them* Guys, doesn’t this bother you? I mean, group stuff is nice and everything and that’s why we’re on this holiday… but no alone-time, is that really not a problem for you?

Jonas: *is sprawled out on the blanket leaning on his elbows* *is somehow also still a little tired and hopes that by moving around it will soon be better but can’t really make himself move just yet – probably just like Carlos and Matteo* *watches the girls play volleyball but then looks at Matteo when he says something to him and Carlos* *thinks about Matteo’s question while Carlos already answers: “Sure, I sometimes feel like this… but I don’t stand a chance against Kiki. Even when we’re laying in bed at night, she’s already planning the next day or philosophizes about the previous one. That’s just really her thing. And urging her about it is no use. As long as she’s happy… everything’s alright!”* *shrugs and then says* Well it doesn’t really bother me. I really do think it’s also interesting to learn a little more about the others for a change. I think Hanna feels similar about this. Of course at night in the tent it’s also nice to be alone with her, but during the day it’s okay the way it is. *looks at Matteo scrutinizingly* Why do you ask, Brudi? Do you miss alone-time?

Matteo: *listens to the two of them and feels his suspicion confirmed that he’s apparently really different* *looks to David and Amira and sees David laugh when Amira has to dive after the ball* *looks back at Jonas when he hears his question* *shrugs and then says honestly* Yes, somehow I do… it’s not that I don’t like hanging out with you guys… but… *shrugs one shoulder* But not having to think about the next topic on the agenda… or without the fear that someone’s going to interrupt… *sees Carlos nod and hears him say: “Yes, I get it… but it’s only two more days, Brudi…”* *sighs slightly and nods* Yes, I know…

Jonas: *nods at Matteo’s words and then also glances at David and then back at Matteo* Okay I can totally understand that you’re afraid that someone is going to interrupt… especially in the tent! You can hear every peep outside. As far as that goes, I’m really looking forward to four real, mostly sound-proof walls… *then hears Carlos’ words and nods* Exactly! You can do two more days… right? *then points his head toward David* What does David think about this? Does he feel about it like you or does it not bother him that he has to share you with us?

Matteo: *nods in affirmation* Yes… and David is even more tense that someone will see him… and stuff… *shrugs one shoulder when he asks if he will be able to get through two more days* Yeah, I have to, right? *nods slightly, looks at David and then back again* I think he feels about it the same way I do… at least he has already mentioned escape attempts… *sighs slightly* But it’s somehow weird that you’re all so much more chill about it… am I just really clingy?

Jonas: *hears Carlos talking about David being tense: “Oh yes, shit, I keep forgetting… dysphoria and so on…”* *has to grin a little because apparently “dysphoria” is Carlos’ new favorite word but also thinks about the fact that it must suck a lot more for David than the others to not have any privacy* *keeps listening to Matteo and has to laugh quietly* Escape attempts? You two? *elbows Matteo and grins* Should I cover for you? *then thinks about Matteo’s question and at first listens to Carlos’ response to it: “Yes, totally…”* *hears Carlos laugh and add: “Nah, you’re not… well I mean not noticeably clingy… I mean everyone’s different in that respect anyways, right?”* *nods at Carlos’ words and adds* I also think that everyone’s different in that respect. But you don’t have to see it in a judgmental way. It’s not like one is better than the other. And the fact that David and you feel similarly about it is great! Like with Hanna and me. With Carlos and Kiki it basically sucks much more: He wants more alone-time and she doesn’t. *looks at Matteo* I just think it’s important that you two don’t completely pull away to be alone. And you don’t do that. Sure, you two also hang around each other even when we’re in a group, but you still participate and therefore it doesn’t bother anyone. There are also couples who completely cut themselves off and only do things with each other and who don’t care at all, anymore, what happens around them. But you’re not like that. So basically everything’s alright, isn’t it? *wonders why Matteo is so worried about this if he and David feel the same about it*

Matteo: *nods at Carlos’ words and also has to grin slightly* Exactly, dysphoria and so on… *laughs slightly when Jonas asks if he should cover for them* Can’t hurt… *then hears Jonas’ long speech about everyone being different and that he and David are the same and therefore it’s okay* *has to laugh a little because the speech is so typically Jonas* You’re right… so your advice is to just bear with it? But you might not see us for a couple of days after the holidays… *grins slightly*

Jonas: *grins when Matteo agrees that he could cover for them* Alright – just give me a sign. Hysterical coughing or something like that… *then nods when Matteo summarizes his speech and shrugs* Well you don’t really have any other choice than to just bear with it – unless you want to pack your bags and go home early. But that would somehow also suck… for the last two days… *laughs quietly* Believe me, as much as I like all of you, but once we’re back home I’m probably also glad to not have you guys around me every day…

David: *had been playing badminton with Amira until she got frustrated and said that she'd rather play with Sam, after all, to not feel like a total loser* *goes to the blanket where Matteo is sitting with Carlos and Jonas, sits down next to Matteo and quickly presses a kiss onto his cheek* *reaches for the water bottle and then grins at the others* Amira doesn't want to play anymore... do we want to play a round of football? *takes a sip*

Matteo: *laughs* I'll do that... *then nods* Yeah, no, leaving early would be completely over the top... *then grins when Jonas is of a similar opinion that they don't have to see each other for a while* *beams slightly when David comes toward them again* *smiles when he kisses him and immediately leans against David, his head on his shoulder* *hears Jonas and Carlos immediately agree and then also nods* Yes... okay... *they all get up and he calls over to Abdi* Abdi, wanna kick the ball around a little? We need a goalkeeper!

David: *smiles when Matteo’s head lands on his shoulder and immediately wraps an arm around him* *quickly presses a kiss to his forehead before he takes a sip* *then hears everyone agree to playing football and is happy* *immediately gets up again and when he hears Matteo’s call he looks over at Abdi, who then joins them* *hears Carlos: “I’m in a team with David!”* *laughs slightly and shrugs* Okay… *then bends down and picks up the ball and he and the others go to a patch of grass where they can play properly*

Matteo: *they unfortunately loose against Carlos and David and later they also play some volleyball* *they are really having a lot of fun and even Alex joins in and plays with them* *in the late afternoon they go back to the cabin and everyone immediately goes to the jetty* *David and Carlos are practicing for their swimming contest tomorrow while Jonas and Matteo jump around having fun instead* *then they sunbathe on the jetty and then soon get called to dinner*

David: *had a lot of fun on the meadow and also during swimming, even though he got more and more bothered by the fact that there are always people around them and that he and Matteo don’t even have 10 minutes to themselves* *keeps trying to remember that it’s really only two more days until they’re back home and that they’ll somehow manage* *shortly before dinner he disappears to the tent to take off his swim binder and doesn’t put the normal one back on either, because due to the amount of movement today he has been feeling the pressure from the binder for an hour* *instead he puts his hoodie on again and then he and Matteo go to the cabin where most of the others are already sitting at the set table* *today they’re having vegetable soup and they talk about their day together until Kiki says: “I thought that we could maybe do the game night outside today. We’ll spread blankets out and then set the games up on the blankets and then everyone can move around however they want to and play what they feel like. What do you guys think?”*

Matteo: *hears Kiki’s plan and as everyone agrees not very enthusiastically* *doesn’t really want to and grumbles slightly* Does everyone have to play? Sees Kiki looking at him shocked and hears her say: “Yes of course. That’s a group activity, Matteo. I brought the games just for that.”* *reaches for another slice of bread and dunks it into his soup* Hmmm… okay… *then hears Jonas: “Well, but if someone wants to go to bed early you won’t stop them, right?”*

David: *finds it almost amusing how much Kiki insists on her group activities but doesn’t really feel like having a game night, either, especially since he’s also really tired because they went to bed so late last night and got up so early this morning* *then hears Kiki answer Jonas: “Well but I’m sure no one wants to go to bed at 7:30!” and Alex: “And what if I’d rather sit down on the porch with a book at 7:30, are you going to rip the book out of my hand and pull me over to the games?” and Kiki again: “Of course you’re a spoilsport, Alexander!”* *clears his throat and says* Well to be honest, I’m really pretty done for and tired. I surely won’t go to bed at 7:30 but I won’t be able to stay up late today. *hears Amira say, as well: “Yes, Kiki, somehow we all had too little sleep last night…” and Kiki’s sulky reaction: “Does no one want to play?!” and Carlos calm her down: “Yes, we do, but it shouldn’t be forced!” and Abdi: “Well I do!”* *almost feels sorry for Kiki that her idea doesn’t really cause anyone to be excited, but can also understand the others really well*

Matteo: *also feels a little sorry for Kiki because she really did a lot and planned a lot* *sighs slightly* Yes, let’s just say we all start together and then we’ll just see? *hers agreeing murmurs* *reaches for David’s hand under the table* Like Carlos already said, no one should be forced, otherwise it also sucks… *sees Kiki nod: “Alright, okay… then you’ll clear the table and I’ll get everything ready in the meantime.”* *sees her get up and disappear into the cabin, probably to get the games*

David: *nods at Matteo’s suggestion and entwines his fingers with Matteo’s when he reaches for his hand under the table* *looks over at him and smiles relieved because it really does look like they’ll still get some alone-time today* *then hears that they are supposed to clear the table, squeezes Matteo’s hand again, and then helps the others clear everything off the table* *while Hanna and Jonas are doing the dishes today, the others already take beverages and snacks to the blankets where Kiki has set up the games* *then simply sits down on the blanket with the Phase 10 game on it and waits to see who will join him*

Matteo: *helps clear the table and also offers to help with washing the dishes but Hanna and Jonas told him they’d manage* *goes outside and sees where David is sitting* *walks past him and whispers* Phase 10 can take really long… *sits down on the Uno blanket because you can quit after each round*

David: *hears Matteo’s whispers and frowns* *didn’t think of that* *grins and gets up to sit down next to him to play Uno* *quietly asks* And what are you going to do if Kiki insists that everyone tries at least two games? *sees Abdi and Sam join them and grins again slightly* So Uno it is? *sees Abdi shrug and then also grin: “It all just depends on the order!”* *sees the others also spreading to to the blankets and sees Sam reach for the cards: “I’ll shuffle first!”*

Matteo: *grins when David gets up and joins him* *shrugs one shoulder* Then I’ll just quickly lose at some game? *then also sees Sam and Abdi join them and claps his hands* Well, then let’s start… *they are playing a few rounds until Sam gets up because she always loses: “I’ll go find something else, guys.”* *checks the time and sees that it’s 8:30* *thinks that it’s probably still too early*

David: *is playing a few rounds of Uno and looks between Abdi and Matteo after Sam left* Are we going to play another round or do we also wanna switch? *sees Matteo check the time and reaches for his hand to also see how late it is* *sees that it’s half past eight and thinks that it’s probably still too soon to leave* *smiles slightly and leans forward to kiss him briefly* *then hers Abdi: “What about Settlers? I’d really like to play that and I think Hanna and Jonas and Carlos are almost finished…”* *thinks that this will somehow take even longer than Phase 10 and notices that at the Phase 10 blanket Amira is the only one left since Mia and Kiki are on their way to the Uno game, and he thinks that with only 3 people playing, Phase 10 will probably be over faster than Settlers* *shakes his head about Settlers* I don’t think I can concentrate on that anymore… *looks at Matteo* A round of Phase 10, after all? Or do we stick with Uno?

Matteo: *smiles slightly when David kisses him and thinks that apparently they just had the same thought* *also shakes his head at Settlers* Yes, I think I’m also more in favor of Phase 10… *gets up and he and David go over to Amira* Na, coach, wanna play a round? *sees Amira grin: “Against you two? Always!"* *they join Amira and wait for her to hand out the cards* *then hears her ask: “And what about you? Are you already looking forward to being home again?"* *nods* Yeah, I am… sleeping in your own bed for a change…

David: *he and Matteo get up and go toward Amira* *plops down on the blanket with a groan and accepts the cards from her* *nods at her question and also at Matteo’s answer* *adds with a grin* …being able to close a door for a change… *sees Amira grin: “Being alone again…”* *laughs* Exactly… *then sorts his cards after Amira has handed them out and immediately draws another one because he’s sitting to Amira’s left and starts* *asks* And what about you? Happy to go home?

Matteo: *also laughs slightly and nods* Exactly… *also draws a card while he listens to Amira: “Yes, I do, I’m looking forward to being at home and having my own rhythm back and such…”* *grins slightly* Being alone for a change… *hears her laugh: “Yes, exactly…”* *they really have a nice conversation with Amira and he only finds it half as bad that they’re stuck here* *grins when Amira wins pretty hands down because he and David both didn’t play very enthusiastically* Congratulations, coach… it has been an honor to be able to lose against you… but I think we’ll try to disappear now…

David: *isn’t really motivated to play after Amira is quickly 2 phases ahead of Matteo and him and they ultimately agree that Matteo and he won’t play to determine second and third place after Amira won* *grins when Matteo says that they’ll disappear now and checks the time* *nods* Yep – we’ve fulfilled our duty and participated in the game night… *hears Amira laugh: “Duty!? I see… but you do that… Kiki is busy playing Settlers right now – maybe she won’t even notice… and if she does, I’ll tell her you felt sick or something like that…”* *laughs quietly* If you’ll sell that to her so that she actually believes you then we owe you one��� *then grins at Matteo* Do you think it’s less suspicious if we leave separately? And should we run or walk slowly? Or tiptoe? Crawl? Or run from one tree to the next?

Matteo: *grins when Amira laughs* Well, duty is maybe putting it toooo harshly but you know… *then nods at David’s words* Yes, she’ll never believe you… but it’s okay, she doesn’t have to… *laughs out loud at David’s suggestions* I’d suggest YOU run from one tree to the next and I’ll slowly walk after you and cover your back… *hears Amira laugh: “You’ll manage…”* *gets up* Thanks… and good night… *holds his hand out to David so that they can disappear*

David: *grins at Matteo’s suggestion but realizes that of course he isn’t serious about it* *sighs theatrically* Alright, okay, maybe we’ll just disappear normally and as inconspicuously as possible… *nods at Amira* *also gets up and nods at Amira* Sleep well… sometime later… *hears Amira say: “I won’t stay up for too much longer, either. I’m really tired…”* *reaches for Matteo’s hand with a smile and then they go toward the tent – surprisingly without being stopped by anyone* *takes a deep breath when they can see the tent and wraps his arm around Matteo* *jumps up once from happiness* We made it!

Matteo: *holds David’s hand and moves away from the cabin and toward the tent as quickly as possible* *is really surprised that they make it without being stopped* *laughs when David jumps up and down* You loon… *pulls him closer and kisses him* *smiles slightly* Let’s get ready for bed real quick, I want to cuddle… *they really get ready quickly and are lying in the tent holding each other a little while later* *smiles contentedly* Finally…

David: *smiles into the kiss and then nods at his words about quickly getting ready and about cuddling* *lets Matteo hand him the toothbrush and then quickly brushes his teeth* *goes into the bushes again to pee and then crawls into the tent with Matteo and immediately cuddles close to him* *laughs quietly when Matteo says “finally”* Oh man, I feel like we haven’t seen each other in days even though we’ve actually been together the entire day… *pushes a leg between Matteo’s and wraps his arms around him a little tighter so that he can be closer to him* *then thinks that it’s really been a while since they’ve just lain in the tent together without immediately falling asleep form tiredness*

Matteo: *nods* Yes, I agree… that’s really weird somehow… as if I would miss you even though you’re here… *wraps his arms around him tighter* But once we’re home, we have time… only you and I… at least for 3 hours, maybe even 4 if we leave early enough… *is silent for a moment and then adds* I’ve already told Jonas that we’ll make ourselves scarce for a few days once we’re back… *laughs slightly* He said that he also doesn’t really need to see us again right afterwards, anyways… two weeks are really long, right?

David: *nods at Matteo’s words and laughs quietly* Exactly… *sighs when Matteo mentions home* Yes, Hans’ message earlier really saved the day. The prospect of having the flatshare to ourselves for 3 to 4 hours. At my place, we probably would have been commandeered by Laura straight away… *absentmindedly runs a hand up and down Matteo’s back* *is really looking forward to seeing his sister again and also Hans and Linn, but right now is really mostly looking forward to a few hours of alone-time with Matteo* *listens to him when he says that he talked to Jonas and nods* Yes… I think slowly but surely everyone’s looking a little forward to being back home and to some quiet… *laughs quietly* Apart from Kiki maybe…

Matteo: *nods immediately* Yes, Laura will probably also want to celebrate and talk and stuff… *is also really looking forward to seeing everyone again but is really mostly looking forward to spending time just the two of them and being together without any plans and schedules* *then nods again and absentmindedly runs his hand up and down David’s arm* Yes, I think so, too… *then also laughs* Yes, Kiki could go on like this for another two weeks… we’ll probably have a message on Monday asking when we’ll all see each other again… but that’s Kiki for you, she can do stuff like this…

David: *groans at Matteo’s suspicion about Kiki* Maybe we should just turn off our phones for two days once we’re back in Berlin and everyone else can kiss our asses… *is silent for a moment and then says* What does Carlos think about this? Doesn’t he need alone-time with her, either? Somehow we’re really lucky that we feel similarly about this… just imagine if one of us was like Kiki and the other like himself – that would totally suck… *feels goosebumps on his arm where Matteo touches him and flinches back a little* *grins and quietly murmurs* That tickles…

Matteo: *laughs slightly* I’d really do that, but being completely unreachable also sucks… what if Mama needs something or the guy from Lambda calls again? *hears his question and shrugs one shoulder* I think Carlos is actually more like us… but he loves Kiki the way she is and thinks that it’s also okay… *is a little surprised when he says that it tickles* Huh? *then realizes what he’s talking about and stills his hand* Sorry…

David: *nods at Matteo’s words and sighs quietly* Also true… *then listens to his words about Carlos and Kiki and nods again* *is still glad that it’s different with them and that they feel similar about it* *grins when Matteo looks at him so surprised and pokes his side when he apologizes* Don’t worry about it… I can do this as well… *laughs quietly when he flinches and wraps his arms around him a little tighter again so that he can’t move away*

Matteo: *squeaks a little and moves his body away from him when he pokes him* Hey! Stop it! *wraps his arms around him again and holds him tight* *buries his face in his neck and then blows against it before he kisses him, first his neck and then his jaw* *murmurs* Kissing is better than tickling…

David: *laughs again quietly when he complains and laughs even more when he blows against his neck* *is still grinning when he starts kissing him but then slowly gets more serious when he says that kissing is better than tickling* *turns his head so that he can meet Matteo’s mouth and murmurs a little breathless from all the laughing* You’re right… *then kisses him tenderly and runs his hand through Matteo’s hair*

Matteo: *grins when he agrees with him* That can happen… *rolls halfway on top of him when he kisses him and lightly runs his hand over his side* *deepens the kiss and enjoys the quiet and that they have time* *entwines their legs and then hears giggling* *is a little surprised and only after he hears a “shhh” does he realize that it’s not David* *pulls away from the kiss and asks quietly* Did you hear that?

David: *pulls Matteo closer when he rolls on top of him and sighs quietly at his touches* *deepens the kiss at the same time he does and runs one hand tenderly across his back and at the end slips it underneath his shirt* *also thinks that he hears something and stops for a moment, but when Matteo continues kissing him he lets himself get distracted by that* *listens again when eventually Matteo also pulls away from the kiss* *hears quiet giggling and then a loud splash followed by “Man, Carlos!”* *groans quietly and buries his neck in Matteo’s shoulder* *then laughs quietly and desperately* Oh man… I finally want you all to myself… *searches for his lips again and just hopes that Carlos and Kiki will really only go for a quick swim and that they’ll be gone again in a moment*

Matteo: *groans in annoyance when he hears giggling and splashing* Seriously? *wraps his arm around David and kisses his head* *then smiles when he kisses him again* *then hears more giggling and splashing and hears Kiki call loudly: “I’ll get you!” followed by Carlos: “Shhh”, then hears some splashing and just can’t concentrate on David like that* *pulls away from the kiss and sighs again loudly* Two more days, two more days, two more days…

David: *while he kisses Matteo he can hear Carlos and Kiki in the water and realizes that he can’t really relax because of it* *runs a hand through Matteo’s hair when he pulls away from the kiss and when he sees Matteo’s annoyed expression* *smiles slightly when he hears his mantra and briefly kisses him again* Actually, it’s only 1,5 more days… we can do that. *then laughs quietly* Let’s get up early on Sunday, prepare breakfast and then push everyone to pack up quickly… the sooner we leave, the sooner we have the flatshare to ourselves…

Matteo: *laughs slightly at his answer* When did you get so optimistic? *grins at his suggestion and nods* Good idea… then it’s best if tomorrow evening we already pack up all the things we don’t need anymore… *kisses him again briefly and then cuddles against him*

David: *shrugs and grins* Since the prospect of having you to myself for a change is so palpable and close… *then laughs quietly at his suggestion* Good idea! And it’s best if we already pack up the tent before we go make breakfast… then we can offer to do the dishes or to help Sam and Amira with their tent so that it’ll go faster… oh man… that’s not suspicious at all… *returns Matteo’s kiss and smiles when he cuddles close* *wraps his arms around him and briefly kisses his temple* *then buries his face in Matteo’s hair, takes a deep breath and relaxes* *then they are silent for a moment and he enjoys the closeness and the familiarity and eventually blocks out the quiet sounds coming from Kiki and Carlos* *gets drowsy and realizes once again how little sleep he got last night* *thinks that it might not be so bad if they go to sleep a little earlier today so that they’ll be fit tomorrow and the day after* *eventually kisses Matteo’s temple again and murmurs quietly* I love you…

Matteo: *grins at his answer and awwws a little* *then laughs quietly when he hears his plan* Sounds good… and it doesn’t matter if it’s suspicious or not… I bet that at least Mia and Alex and Jonas and Hanna feel similar… *then relaxes more and more when they are quiet* *gets kissed and hums blissfully* *immediately feels the butterflies again when he hears David’s words and moves a little so that he can kiss him properly* Love you too… *then cuddles closer again* Let’s sleep now?

David: *meets Matteo’s kiss and smiles when he returns his words* *runs a hand through his hair again and nods when he asks if they’ll sleep now* *hums in agreement and kisses the back of his neck after he has rolled onto his side* *wraps his arms around him again and slips his hand under his shirt* *then murmurs quietly* Sleep tight, Florenzi…

Matteo: *firmly presses himself against David and pulls the sleeping bag a little higher* *grins slightly when he feels David’s hand under his shirt* Dream of us, Schreibner… and of an empty flatshare…

(next play)

[jokertrap-ran]

(光与夜之恋 Light and Night) Main Story Chapter 1-12: 命运的拐点 Destiny’s Turning Point Translation [3rd Beta Test]

*Light and Night Master-list is under WIP *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Game is slated for release this summer! (Estimated to be 8/8/21)  *Beta Test’s main story tag will be #Dreams of Light and Night

The night of the Warson Prize Finals arrived in a blink of an eye.

All contestants were in a race against time to complete their final adjustments. It was the epitome of the peak of nervousness and high morale.

The sound that denoted the start of the contest sounded. Everyone placed everything they were doing back down, watching with relief as the fashion choreographer took away the works before them. The competition of art and fashion was about to start shortly.

❖☆———————————★❖

Dun dun dun~

Upbeat music played as lights flashed extravagantly all-around before converging in one spot.

Host: Welcome! To the finals night of the 3rd Warson Prize!

Host: Next, let us give a grand round of applause to our dear esteemed guests tonight!

Host: First, we have Mr. Lupin, the Director of the Warson Group!

A middle-aged man decked in a grey-coloured suit walked up to the stage. He stood tall and upright, with defined features and looked terrifyingly imposing.

Lupin briefly exchanged a few words with the host. The next guests to take the stage were celebrities from all walks of life who have collaborated with Warson.

The popular youthful and beautiful Actor, Lin Yao, the Pop Star Martin… Familiar names flashed across the screen one by one. It could be said that the line-up was akin to a vast starry sky of shining stars, at this point.

Host: Next, we have Warson’s new friend!

Host: He’s one of the champion racers of the Glitter Bullet Team― Osborn!

MC: !

The familiar name made me freeze.

❖☆———————————★❖

Osborn’s silhouette appeared at the end of the stage.

He was wearing a specially tailored three-dimensional cut suit, with several shades of black as the main tone. The three-piece suit layered on well, and there was a smattering of gold on its intricate designs.

Paired with Osborn's stern features, the full image of him decked out in a suit presented itself nicely; a hint of danger, and a tinge of mystery.

MC: Black… really does suit him well.

❖☆———————————★❖

The Host held his mic and made some simple small talk with him.

Host: This is the first time we’ve ever invited a star of the Sports World for the Warson Prize.

Host: I wonder if you have any unique views about fashion, Mr. Osborn?

Facing the cameras, the sides of Osborn’s lips slightly quirk upwards.

Osborn: It’s not really unique or anything. I think fashion has no bounds, so you do you, anything goes.

Host: Oh, okay. Well then… Have you seen any of our previous contests?

Osborn: But of course. Some of the contestants are also pretty interesting.

I recalled the huge misunderstanding that had transpired back when I met him up on the roof that day. Contestants? ...Is it… me, by any chance?

The contest only officially begins after all the judges and guests have been introduced. The background music for the catwalk plays as ten models walk down the lane, one by one, each dressed in clothes designed by a contestant.

I stood behind the side curtains of the stage, mentally reciting my speech regarding the thought process that went into my design over and over again.

MC: No feeling nervous. Just keep calm and be steady.

Staff: Next person, please get ready.

I took a deep breath before turning and heading out to stage.

The scorchingly blinding lights surround me. I saw the model standing in front of me, dressed in the dress of my design, looking as beautiful as a painting.

I took big strides, coming up to the model's side and bowing deeply at the sea of applause. I started to calmly explain my creative ideas and thought processes that brought this design to life.

MC: Hello, everyone. I am (Y/n). The design I present to everyone today is called "Starry Key".

I only felt the slight sheen of sweat at the back of my neck only after I'd finished my explanatory speech.

Soon, all 10 dresses had been displayed. All contestants stood in a row, side-by-side, as they awaited the results from the judges.

Host: I now have in my hands, the scores of each participant as decided by the judges!

I silently clenched my fist, my heart raced, thumping loudly as if it housed a snare drum within.

Host: The top 3 scorers of this round will be qualified to enter the next round, where only one will win the championship. Now, let's see who they are!

Ba-thump, ba-thump. 

The sound of my heartbeat rings in my ears.

Host: They are: Wu Yue, the designer of "Memory Tunnel", Gao Cheng, the designer of "The Last Orange Blossom", and lastly—

Host: (Y/n), the designer of "Starry Key"!

My name…

A wave of applause engulfs the stage. For a moment, I couldn't quite register it in my brain, only looking up at the big screen. My name. It's really being displayed up there.

MC: It's real! I've gotten into the Top 3!

Gao Cheng: We got in!

Host: Let us congratulate the three contestants and welcome them up to the centre of the stage.

Although we've gotten into the Top 3, this also means to say that we're only going to face much fiercer competition within our midst from now on.

Host: As we all know, the Warson Prize is one of the top-tiered competitions in the industry.

Host: To reflect Watson's spirit of innovation and enterprise, improvisation is always the main theme for the championships.

Host: And now, just what theme awaits these 3 finalists in this round's championship?

Making an impromptu design. That was the biggest challenge all fashion designers could ever face. With no chance to prepare or seek help, a challenge of this calibre is like a reflective mirror that tests the designer's understanding and experience.

I put the joy of being promoted to the next round away, listening intently to the Host.

Host: The theme for the improvisation round will be announced soon. Now, let us reveal the judges, Watson's very own in-house Designers!

Host: They are, respectively: The famous Designer, Yan Xiao, and the Deputy Director of Warson Design Hub, Mya!

❖☆———————————★❖

The lights above the judges lit up. Two of the seats were already taken.

However, the centre seat was left empty.

Drumrolls sound, stage lights flashed, and the spotlights converged, the beam of light illuminating the end of the runway.

Host: Lastly, let us welcome the new Design Director of the Warson Brand: The internationally famous and renowned, we have— Mr. Sariel!

❖☆————— ⊹ Dreams of Light & Night⊹ —————★❖

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