#we rode the ferris wheel and it was GAY

[aroaceconfessions]

I'm kinda, sorta, in a way, dating my friend ? Like, I'm sapphic-oriented aroace and she's gay. Our relationship has never been anything but platonic and neither of us plan on changing that but I just dropped her off after our third date. It started, as many things do, by me saying "you know what would be funny ?" We both come from the same town and study in the same town so we ride the train together when we visit our parents on weekends and we both wanted to go to the Christmas market. We decided to go together and I said it sounded like a Christmas movie, that it would be funny if we posted about it on social media and made it look like a date. So we did. And, yeah, we've rode a Ferris wheel for the first time, went on walks, watched movies while cuddling on my couch, been to coffee shops and libraries. She just joked about bringing flowers next time and I'm delighted. We've been dating since Christmas, except we're really JUST going on dates. It's really fun.

[parasitebeans]

I’m home from my first Katsucon and I had a freakin blast!! Here are some pics of @cryptidkurama and myself as Todd Brotzman and Dirk Gently, respectively. If you saw us or took a picture let us know! We were so happy that people actually recognized us! 8^)) 

[everysongineverykey]

I'M DONE. HERE. TAKE THESE CHAPTER 2 THOUGHTS AND RUN, BABY.

so i'll try to go in order here. uhhhh... there's a LOT i have to say. first: toriel giggling sprite my beloved

on that note, ALL THE NEW SUSIE SPRITES MY BELOVEDS

NOELLE YOU'RE SO GAY. I THINK THIS IS PROBABLY JUST BECAUSE I TOLD HER TO IN CHAPTER ONE BUT SHE GAVE SUSIE THE LUNCHBOX FULL OF CHALK!! I LOVE ITTTT

ralsei's, uh... kinda sus. the whole "recruiting" thing REALLY sketches me out. and he looks kinda... smug, all the time, like he knows what's going on.

LANCER JOINED! ROUXLS JOINED EVEN THOUGH NO ONE WANTED THAT! STARWALKER JOINED, TO EVERYONE'S JOY!

LIBRARY PORTALLLL

so before i entered the city there was that pre-city area? that looked very much like the city? except it had different music? and i thought they'd cut welcome to the city and i was SEVERELY disappointed. but then they didn't! just something i wanted to mention

NOELLE!!

throughout this game i went from despising berdly to feeling bad for him to not really liking him again, but not hating him as much as before. he'd better stay the fuck away from susie though

the queen is the best villain. she's the kind you love to hate! she's literally so funny AND her boss battle is actually tough (rip to the king but he just. wasn't a formidable enemy at all lol)

THE GANG CHARLIE BROWN DANCING TO WIN A FIGHT! SUSIE GAINING THE POWER TO ACT THROUGH SHEER FORCE OF WILL! SUSIE FORCING RALSEI TO LEARN TO ACT EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T WANT TO! THAT ENTIRE BATTLE WAS AMAZING! THE "BATTLE WON" END DANCING SEQUENCE! GOING INSANE GOING INSANE

the puzzles in this chapter were genuinely really impressive! i especially loved the word search puzzles and the ice-ee undertale word search reference💙

that being said. the mouse puzzles were SO fucking infuriating. i caused poor noelle a LOT of grief with those and i feel bad.

SPEAKING OF NOELLE!! the scene where she and kris are walking through the puzzle, the one that spells "december", and she's talking about when they were kids, how she loved sneaking out? beautiful. the cinnamon tography <3 also i guessed dess's full name was december a while ago and while i guess it was obvious, it's nice to have that confirmed!

also, i love that susie and ralsei are real friends in this chapter! he taught her a healing spell!!

ugh. fucking berdly. so smug and pretentious. i love queen's desire to be as far away from him as possible though

i also like his backstory. it gives his behavior, even if it's still annoying, at least some context. i get the feeling of feeling like if you're not smart, people will forget about you, and that's scary.

ALSO ALSO. GAMER BERDLY. LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT IS PERFECT. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GAMER!" "i only play mobile games, berdly." "NOOOOOO!" like i ADORE that

anyways. time for me to talk about the only thing that matters in this world: suselle. i mean, did the gays win in this chapter or DID THE GAYS WIN IN THIS CHAPTER?? THEY RODE A HEART-COVERED FERRIS WHEEL AND HAD A HEARTFELT, TENSION-FILLED CONVERSATION!

"did you ever wonder why the real susie never picked on you? well, maybe it's because... when you were both new to class, you lent her one of your pencils, like... maybe a dumb one with candy canes on it or something, and... even though it didn't actually taste like candy, she... remembered your smile." okay god thanks toby it's not like i needed my heart or anything

SERIOUSLY. TOBY "i'm gonna give the gays everything they want" FOX IS BACK WITH ANOTHER BANGER LADS

QUEEN'S BOSS BATTLE! ACTUALLY TOUGH, UNLIKE KING'S! AND GIGA QUEEN! I'M GOING INSANE THAT WAS SO SICK AND SO HARD

the way my heart BROKE when lancer turned to stone good god thank GOD our boy's okay

AND ROUXLS KAARD IN HIS PIRATE DUCK!! WITH HIS LITTLE HAT! DEMANDING THE QUEEN MAKE HIM BUTLER SUPREMETH! I LOVE HIM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF

also!! kris and ralsei's little moment on the swan boat💙 i wasn't a kralsei shipper before but uh... that may be starting to change

it's hard because ralsei's still suspicious but at the same time i love him and want him to be happy. i don't know how to feel

also, if darkners outside of their dark worlds turn to stone after a while, why didn't ralsei? that's, uhhh... VERY sus. very weird. mr fox i need ANSWERS

WE FINALLY HAVE A WAY TO SAVE AFTER WE'VE FINISHED MOST OF THE EPILOGUE LADS. REJOICE!!

seriously the thing that peeved me about ch1 was that the last save point was on the battle stage and if i wanted to play the epilogue again, i had to. do that entire battle all over. BUT NOW THAT'S BEEN FIXED!!

UNDYNE AND ALPHYS HAVE MET UNDYNE AND ALPHYS HAVE MET THIS IS NOT A DRILL UNDYNE GAVE HER A BOX OF CANDIES EVERYBODY SHUT UP THEY'RE IN LOVE ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD

ALSO! NEAR THE BEGINNING! I FORGOT TO MENTION THE LITTLE WHITE DOG DOING DONUTS IN A TOY RACE CAR AND BACKING UP TRAFFIC! THANK YOU LITTLE WHITE DOG!

on that note: "looks like a car. this one has a man in it. he waves at you happily." AND THEN THE MAN'S GONE??? HEY TOBY???

ALSO. THE SEGMENT WHERE THE ANNOYING DOG HELPS US FIND THE KEY THROUGH THE POWER OF WANTON DESTRUCTION. THE BEST PLOT DEVICE!

TORIEL TEACHING SUSIE TO MAKE PIE STOP ITTTTT

and yes yes i KNOW kris slashed toriel's tires. that was extremely troubling. but THEY MADE PIE TOGETHER!!

"leave the chalk alone, kris" TORIEL!!

sans and toriel making egg puns and asgore running in and going "don't forget me, your eggs-husband!" is the FUNNIEST sitcom moment type thing ever. GOD.

on the other hand sans let me meet your brother god dammit i'll kill you

METTATONNNNNNN

RUDY... "who got you these flowers?" "is it weird for a married man to get flowers?" "so your wife did?" "oh, no! kris's dad did!" "...not even gonna try to understand this..." TOBY STOP ITTTT YOU'RE GIVING THE ASGORUDY SHIPPERS FALSE HOPE. YOU KNOW YOU'RE JUST GONNA KILL RUDY. YOU'RE JUST RUBBING SALT IN THE WOUND!

NUBERT! MY MAN!

seeing kris repeatedly they-themmed by multiple characters makes me so happy <3 poor kid... "college summer vacation when" "you opened the door with your eyes closed. you saw nothing" kris....

KRIS...

fucking. BLACK FOG STORM IN THE LIVING ROOM KRIS STOP IT. HOW'RE THEY GONNA REVEAL THIS WAS INNOCENT? THE KNIFE IN CHAPTER ONE WAS EASY BUT HOW WILL THEY EXPLAIN THIS

the staticy tv appearing in the dark and a toothy smile slowly fading into view in the center and lingering there ominously for far too long >>>>>>> every hollywood horror movie ever god. GOD

snowy and monster kid checking out the red door. implying there's something in there. something that kris knows about. knowing we won't get any more deltarune content for 5+ years does NOT fill me with determination

also. gaster's symbolic theme being mus_smile. and the final image in the game being a smile. god. gaster's COMING lads.

onionsan hears a song at night... a familiar song... memory, perhaps? or maybe a certain... four-note arpeggio that's hidden in a sound test room in undertale? who knows? guess we'll just have to wait for chapters 3/4/5.

this concludes my ramblings for now, but don't get it twisted- this is FAR from the last post i'll make about ch2. this whole chapter was absolutely amazing! brilliant! showstopping!! i'm genuinely soooo super impressed and excited for the chapter 3/4/5 bundle!!!

[kexing]

Venji has always been endgame: destiny & Victor’s attraction to Benji throughout his denial

in my first analysis, I mentioned Benji’s introduction and even quoted his line about destiny (twice) and I’d like to go back to that for a bit.

now, I’ve always found Victor and Benji’s first interaction kinda cringy akdjakdj but it does contain some informations (if you’re willing to overthink it and apparently, I am).

the most obvious one, of course, is his first words to Victor, “nice shoes!” which we know is a reference to Love, Simon. in the Simonverse, complimenting someone’s shoes is code for “I’m gay and kinda into you” (which you could interpret as Benji also being interested in Victor from the first moment but that’s another story ~~~).

anyway, we’re led to believe that Benji might be gay, and then they confirm it literally twenty seconds later when Felix just straight up tells us that. we love foreshadowing akdjakdjsj

the second one is the conversation about destiny. at first it feels a little off, I mean.... this random cute guy just came up to Victor and deadass said that his shoes were his destiny like. what’s up with that?? but it does give a nod to the fact that Benji is a romantic person (so when you watch the show for the second time you just go like, “yeah that’s definitely something Benji would say.”)

and you know how Victor’s mom bought the shoes without knowing how cool they were, and how in Call Me Maybe the lyrics say, “I wasn’t looking for this but now you’re in my way”. just destiny throwing amazing things at you when you least expect it!!

also how the lyrics, “before you came into my life I missed you so bad” sound like soulmate stuff!!!!

(I may be overthinking this last part but still, Call Me Maybe is 100% not a random choice).

Victor’s attraction to Benji throughout his denial

aka clues that Venji was still going to be endgame even in Victor’s most confusing times (part 1. probably. or 2. I can’t count)

so the second episode starts with the heartbreaking dream sequel.

in the dream, Victor is on the ferris wheel but instead of being with Mia aka the person he actually rode it with, he’s with Benji aka the person he actually wanted to ride the ferris wheel with (again 🗣 Benji 🗣 is 🗣 the 🗣 one 🗣 since 🗣 episode 🗣 one). I love sounding like a broken record

they have a moment and just as they’re about to kiss, people on the ground and all around start booing them.

that’s Victor’s fear of rejection catching up to him even in his nicest dreams and he wakes up scared (probably not for the last time ha ha :/).

that night in the Winter Carnival, Victor didn’t allow himself to be true to his attraction to Benji by chosing the safe option, Mia. and that’s what’s going to keep happening from now on (but that doesn’t really stop him from dreaming of Benji and wishing he was with Benji instead). thinking about it this way, episode one is a truly effective and well done set up for the season. points for them!

later in the episode, we have the coffee shop scene where Benji attempts to teach Victor how to make a espresso aka the most extra scene of this show like.......

......ALSJAKDJSJ I absolutely love it. chaotic gay™️

so Victor gay panics super hard after this because he is way too attracted to Benji and it just keeps getting worse. like, even he has noticed by now that whenever he sees Benji, the guy starts moving in slow motion and a sexy ass song starts playing in the background. that’s just...... another level of thirsty, no matter how you look at it aldjskdjks

and once again, out of fear of rejection, he chooses Mia. he goes to the party wearing yellow to “declare his feelings for her” or as I like to call it, to try and bury his attraction to Benji and pray it works permanently.

it obviously won’t work permanently but it does work for now. so after the party where he got to hang out with Mia for a bit, Victor tells Simon that he’s starting to like her, that she’s a wonderful person (true) and that maybe this thing with her might work, after all (false). our boy is being hopeful here!!! but the show has one last reminder to him,

yep, Benji is still very much alive and ready to spend every day working with you adlfhslfn

it’s the show telling Victor (and us) that reality can’t be avoided forever, that sooner or later he will have to face his attraction to Benji because ignoring it won’t make it going away. of course that Victor will try to make it as later as possible

BUT

it’s still right there just waiting to be acknowledged ;)

— love, MJ

[wolfsgravity]

I can’t sleep so I’m just thinkin’ about my range of Pokémon romantic F/Os. This series has meant so much to me for so long, and I know F/Os from that source make up a decent portion of my list. I’d feel more embarrassed about it if I didn’t make it abundantly clear that Pokémon is one of the most pervasive influences in my life from an exceedingly young age.

I just. I dunno. I find my collection of Pokémon series F/Os so interesting.

I’m just gonna ramble a bit.

I’m going to talk in Generational order, because my 1am brain couldn’t decipher a more cohesive timeline if it tried.

Giovanni is a funny one. As a kid, his character in the show intimidated me a little. But I really loved Team Rocket on some level. They were my first Pokémon villain organization, and with the Gen III games having Aqua and Magma, I decided pretty early that Team Rocket was my team. I had a stint in Magma since when I was young, I thought I’d specialize in Fire types, but eh it didn’t stick. No team really stuck nearly as much until Team Skull! So I had a lot of time for my intimidation from Giovanni to evolve into a fearful respect, to a mild devotion… by the time I played Let’s Go! and Ultra Moon, I was more than a little excited to see him in game. As in, I would quietly cheer when he appeared on my screen, in some weird giddy manner. It was only a matter of time before I realized I was crushing hard.

Steven Stone (he has a full name so more often than not I use it when referring to him) probably didn’t make the biggest impact on me in the original Gen III games? Hoenn was my favorite region for a while (in part due to pre- “Hoenn confirmed” hype), but he didn’t have a huge role in Ruby/Sapphire. Maybe I noticed him first in Emerald? I wish I could remember my real first inkling of crush on him, because I just remember when I played Omega Ruby… I was already obsessed with him. He showed up for the first time in game and I squealed. I spent the whole game seeking him out and already making romantic passes at him in my around-19-year-old head.

I am counting Grovyle for this, but it bears repeating that my S/I for the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon games is a Pokémon too. Those Mystery Dungeon games enamored me as a teen! I got to BE! A POKEMON!! So I probably got Explorers of Time/Darkness for DS not long after it released in 2008. I was so excited to have Gen IV Pokémon to be and battle and recruit, ugh, this game meant so much to me. I will always remember being part of Wigglytuff’s Guild super fondly. And like, as I am super susceptible to mental role play, putting myself in my characters shoes (or lil toe beans I guess) has always been second nature for me. So a dashing Grovyle just jumped into my silly life and was the most honorable and misunderstood character and I am not even joking when I say I fell for him in my first playthrough. And I’ve played through it a lot. I was always jealous of Celebi. I hate every Dusknoir I see to this day. *chefs kiss* Good game.

Gen V is “oops all F/Os” Gen, where to even start..

Just kidding, N is the obvious choice to start for me. He was love at first sight. He just, ugh, he cares about Pokémon SO MUCH. I literally don’t know how to even expand on this. He literally rode the Ferris Wheel with the player character in the game, and I WASNT supposed to interpret that as a date? Wack. It was a date. I love him so damn much. Next question

Elesa comes next because I’ve always thought she was stunning. I mean, duh I guess, she’s canonically a model. Also, Electric types are in my top 3, behind Fairy and somewhat tied with Fire, so she was a woman after my own heart. Her Emolga kinda wrecked my team and I respect that. Also, she loves puns. So again. Woman after my own heart. The only reason she’s still listed as Crush and not as Dating is because she intimidates me. She’s out of my league and I worry she’d only see me as a friend. Well, not “only”, her and Skyla are bffs and that also looks fun. I just. Can’t imagine her romantically being interested in me sometimes. Heh.

Grimsley was a crush that came on yeeeaaaars after his Gen, and it hit me like a freight train. I swear, he made very little impression on me in B/W, because I was young and I was just excited to possibly see N again as champion. I was a little shit, okay. I also never played B2/W2 all the way through, which is a huge stain on my Pokémon record. Anyways. When he showed up in Sun/Moon, I gasped. I was like, that’s a familiar face. Why is he hot now? (The answer is we was always hot, and I just had a few years to grow between games). But like, I kind of tamped it back down? I think I legit tried to tell myself around Sun/Moon era that I can’t keep finding Pokémon characters hot, because I was drooling over another one in Moon. Anywho. Grimsley kept popping up as fanart on my Tumblr dash for a while and by the time I pulled him in Pokémon Masters, I slipped into love. Whoops.

Professor Sycamore, probably not my proudest moment of fandom. He was another one I liked from the very introduction. I made fun of him in equal measure, but I affectionately referred to him as “Professor Hotdad” for an embarrassingly long amount of time. He’s not even the oldest of my Pokémon F/Os. One of my other Pokémon F/Os is canonically a father. But nope. Sycamore was Hotdad. That all said, he did make me smile like a crush-stricken schoolgirl when he talked in game so it wasn’t all just memey objectification. I do love him dearly.

Gen VII! Alola! Guzma! Oh man, like I’d stated earlier, Team Skull really nestled it’s way close to my heart the way no team had since Team Rocket. It wasn’t all because of Guzma, I really did like the group of ragtag misfits banding together and creating a family. Guzma was icing on the cake. Oh boy, he made my heart do funny little flips even when he was threatening me in game. I loved his design, I loved his character, the way he talked, I just. Ugh, I was down bad for ya boy in Moon and Ultra Moon. He’s actually the inspiration behind my main blog url: its-ya-boi-remington. The “Y’all are stupid!” line and face lives in my head rent free at all times. Guzma protection squad.

(Nanu isn’t a romantic so I won’t talk about him here, just know I’m not forgetting him!)

Leon was, believe it or not, my actual first Gen VIII crush. I saw that fashion disaster and felt a warm comfort from him. It didn’t help that I mentally read every character in Galar with some UK/British Isles accent, that sweetened the deal. I was actually gushing to a couple then-friends about Leon while we all played Sword/Shield together and they kind of mocked me about it. They chided me that Leon “doesn’t bat for my team” and said either of them would have a better chance with him if he were real. So I was a little downtrodden about Leon after that for quite a while. It wasn’t until a couple months ago when suddenly it hit me that A- He’s literally fictional and my version of him can like me regardless of what “team he bats for” and B- I’m nonbinary? So rules get thrown out the window, anyone who likes me is both a miracle and some kind of gay whatever way you spin it. So I let myself warm back up to him, though I’m still a little skittish from before.

Piers, I guess, as awful as it sounds, was initially a crush rebound. Like, don’t get me wrong, I’d have been attracted either way. He’s a musician, a SINGER no less, and has that emo/punk vibe. But he’s also gentle and kind. Swoon. But it helped that I had my crush-feelers out full-force for a cutie in game to obsess over since I was still butthurt about my “friends” killing my crush on Leon. Obsess I did, and continue to do. I could probably snap this man over my knee like firewood he’s so lanky, idk why I put that in here but it’s staying. Piers is the one I most imagine jamming out with on a regular basis, and it makes performing for no one a bit more fun 🥰

I’m finally getting tired, I feel like I’ve been typing this for an hour. I probably have been. Ah geez now I gotta tag all these F/Os lmao. Thanks for letting me ramble.

[hourtohour-notetonote1]

Love Victor Season 2, Part 1

“Mom… Dad… I’m gay.” Victor says, truly exhaling for the first time since he kissed Benji in that motel room in Willacoochee. 

Coming out right now probably wasn’t the best thing to do, especially after his parents announced that they were separating. 

After Victor says the two words that change him in his family’s eyes forever, his mom stops talking to him. His dad hugs him, and says "Thank you for telling us hijo. I love you no matter what. I don't really care about grandchildren anyway."

Armando notices the visible disgust on Isabel's face and tells him to leave, just for now while his mom gets her shit together and learns that Victor is still Victor. Before leaving, Victor goes to his room and packs some clothes, his laptop, his iPad, and his phone charger. He’s sure to grab the fleece-lined denim jacket Simon gave him. As he packs, he hears a knock on his bedroom door. Pilar walks in and tells him she's sorry. She's sorry for not believing him when he said that he wasn't a cheater and that he never meant to hurt Mia. After Pilar leaves, he grabs his backpack, so that he has his stuff for school on Monday. His dad was okay with it but wanted to protect his feelings, in case his mom said something mean.  

To: frommywindow1@gmail.com

From: victor.salazar04@gmail.com

Subject: Coming Out

Simon-

You were right. I can’t control how people react when I tell the truth. Tonight was far from the perfect night for anybody. There were times when it was perfect, and times when it sucked. 

I did it. I came out to my parents and sister. Mia knows. She was so angry with me, and I can say with almost certainty that she hates me now. She found out in the worst way possible: She saw Benji and I kissing in the courtyard :(

My mother isn’t talking to me and my father told me to stay with a friend until my mother figures out how to get her shit together.

In other news, Benji!!! HE BROKE UP WITH DERECK :) That’s probably the highlight of my night. He told me that he wants to be with someone who makes him feel like he can be himself, and that's enough. Then he said “That's how you make me feel, Victor”, and then we kissed. 

I’m supposed to call him tomorrow, but I think I might ask to stay with him because  I have never been to Felix’s place, and so I don’t think that I can stay there, so Benji it is.

On top of everything, right before I came out, my parents announced that they were separating, so YAY -_- 

Love, Victor

 Victor leaves, and the first person he calls is Benji. When Benji picks up the phone, Victor starts crying. “Hey, what's up, why are you crying?,” Benji asks, “Are you okay?”

“Hey. I know I said I would call tomorrow, but I just came out, and my mom won’t talk to me, and my dad told me that I should leave for a while to stay away from my mom. Pilar is mad at me for being dishonest to Mia, and Adrian has no idea what's going on. Before you, I had only come out Simon. I’m considering going to his place because I can’t go to Felix’s and I’m just so scared." Victor replies breathlessly in between sobs. 

"Victor, I know you don't owe me anything at all, but I thought that I was pretty clear about the fact that I wanted an exclusive relationship. I also know that we aren't even official yet, and this is probably really stupid.”

Victor begins laughing, and right now, it is kind of a half-laugh, half-sob.

“What's so funny?" Benji asks

“I'm not with Simon. He's my friend, and he has a boyfriend. I went to visit them in New York after the trip to Willacoochee and it was possibly the best weekend of my life. It helped me come to terms with the fact that I am gay. He also happens to be in college, and I only have eyes for one cute boy. You might know him. His name is Benji Campbell."

"Oh really? Tell me more about this Benji fellow." Benji replies flirtatiously 

“Well, he has this hair that you could just run your fingers through all day. These lips that you could kiss forever. He has really nice biceps and triceps and he is the nicest boy you will ever meet. He makes me want to stop time just to talk and kiss and cuddle. He sings, and oh my god his voice could come from an angel. He plays guitar, too. He once drew a picture of me that I keep with me at all times. This picture makes me wonder what other hidden qualities he has. He is sweet, and just a wonderful person all together. He's a romantic, he's funny, and his smile could light up a room. When I look into his eyes, I feel like I could drown because I never want to look away. He has tight t-shirts and a stupid smile.”

"Well I know this one boy who's kisses could change someone's life. He makes me happy on the worst nights ever and makes me  wonder if I was living before I met him." Benji replies with a smile you could hear.

"Benji, how did I ever get so lucky to wind up in the arms of someone as amazing as you? I called you because you make everything better, and you just light up my life. Oh, and about Simon, it's Simon Spier, the one who rode the ferris wheel until his secret email pen-pal came to him. He and the same boy, Bram, live together in New York with some really awesome roommates.

“Holy shit Victor. That's awesome that you know Creekwood's gay legend. I’m going to walk to your place, and you can come stay at mine, okay?”

“Okay”

When Benji arrives at Victor’s building, Victor is happy and relieved to see him. Victor stands up and Benji wraps him in a tight hug, kissing him on the cheek and stroking Victor’s hair. The first place they walk to is Brasstown, because they need coffee. They make latte art meatballs. “So ugly, but so delicious.” Victor says with a laugh.

“Are you going to make fun of me forever for that?,”Benji says

“I’m not making fun of you, just joking because it's true.” 

At this Benji kisses Victor sweetly on the lips, making both boys smile.

“See, you know how to make my day better.” Victor says

Ding ding

“Who’s that”

“Probably Simon. I emailed him before I called you, so he’s probably replying to that.”

To: victor.salzar04@gmail.com

From: frommywindow1@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Coming Out

Wow! I’m so proud of you Vic, for coming out. You are so brave! Bram says he is really happy that you came out, and finally said those two words. Not long after I came out to my family, my mom, who is a therapist, said to me “You get to exhale now, Simon. You get to be more you than you have been in... in a very long time. You deserve everything you want.” Now I’ll say the same thing to you, Victor. You can exhale now, you can be you.

I’m so sorry to hear about your parents separating.

On the other hand, I’m sorry that your mom reacted the way that she did. I do think your dad is trying to protect you, and I kind of agree with him, but maybe he should have spoken differently. 

BENJI!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH! YAY. He broke up with his boyfriend for you! Now that says something 

(A message from Bram.)

Now tell me… What’s the latest with you boys, because I assume he’s with you as you read this. ;)

Love, Simon

“Is that my name? Does Simon Speir know who I am?” Benji asks

“Oh he knows all about you. How you wear tight t-shirts and have a stupid smile. He knows that I was both sad and happy when I found out you had a boyfriend because it took you off the table, and I really liked you, even then. How I kissed you in the motel room. How we kissed last night.”

Benji blushes at this entire speech, because now he knows that Victor liked him, even in the beginning.  “Is my smile really stupid?”

“Yes, but in a cute way!” Victor says, a huge grin plastered on his face. 

Victor leans down and gives Benji a soft kiss on the lips. “What are we? We both admitted we have feelings for each other and we keep kissing, but we haven’t discussed us yet, if there even is an us.” Victor asks Benji.

“I don’t know. I’m all in if you are.” Benji replies.

“All in, like boyfriend?”

“If that’s what you want”

“That's what I want”

They stand there kissing for almost ten minutes, but ten minutes was the difference between night and morning. Sarah walks in and sees them kissing. “Seriously? No canoodling by the coffee maker!” She yells, and the two boys break apart. 

“It’s already morning?” Victor asks, and looks at Benji, adding “I don’t have any of my work t-shirts.” 

“Hey Sarah, can we go to get our shirts, we’ve been here all night?” Benji asks, realizing that they were both still in their suits from the night before.

“Whatever, you have fifteen minutes before your shifts start.Take my car. Come back ASAP!” Sarah replies with an eye role.

Victor drives to Benji’s house, following the directions Benji was giving him, and he realizes that he has never seen Benji’s house before. “You have a really nice house. Very home-y.” Victor says

“Oh thanks. My room’s back here. You can leave your bags on my bed and I’ll get you a shirt.” Benji says, noticing Victor is staring at him, and  adds, smiling, “What are you staring at?”

“My cute boyfriend with the stupidest cute smile.”

At this Benji smiles and kisses Victor. “We need to get ready for work.”

“Ugh, fine.” Victor says

After getting dressed Benji goes to his kitchen to make them some breakfast. For breakfast, they have egg sandwiches. They leave to go to work, which is surprisingly busy for a Saturday morning. “I just wanna kiss my boyfriend!” Victor says, groaning.

“Hmmm, who is this mystery man you’re talking about?” Benji replies with a smirk.

Victor stands up straight and then leans down to kiss Benji. “What did I say about canoodling by the coffee machine?” Sarah yells at the two boys from the back room.

They separate, frowning, and get back to work. The boys are just happy to be together finally, after months of crushing on each other. “You know that weekend that I disappeared? The one after I kissed you the first time?” Victor says

“Yeah”

“I wasn’t with my dad on some ‘Boys’ trip’. I was in New York, visiting Simon Spier and his boyfriend and their roommates. We went to this gay bar, and it was truly the best night of my life. I went on stage at this drag show, and I was super nervous, but I was so happy.”

“Woah”

“And that denim jacket used to belong to Simon.”

“Well shit.”

Dereck walks in the store angrily and yells at Benji "You sure move on fast!"

"Leave my boyfriend alone. He didn't do anything wrong. You aren't in a relationship with him and if he wants to be with someone other than you, then that's his choice. You don't get to burst into our lives yelling at us because he broke up with you. You didn't appreciate him or all of the cute, romantic, things he did for you and you made him anxious. He was scared to be himself around you and obviously you couldn't tell how amazing he is the person he really is." Victor yells at Dereck. 

"Vic, babe, calm down. He's just being a dick because I broke up with him. He doesn't deserve our time." Benji says calmly to Victor while trying not to smile or grab his face and kiss him.

    All of his resistance just wasn't enough, and Benji wraps his arms around his beautiful boyfriend's neck and kisses him. Dereck rolls his eyes and says threateningly "This isn't over. I will be back, and both of you will regret this." 

Victor and Benji are nervous about Dereck's threat, but they don't let that hold them back. But then when Victor turns his phone back on, he sees a text Felix sent at 3 AM telling him to check the Tumblr.

[thenarrativefoil]

Can i get uhhhhhhhhhhhh fuckin heart eyes @ my gf

[milkteaandbubble]

Bram’s Sight

Basically Love, Simon's ending in Bram's point of view.

___________________________________________________

charaters:  Simon Spier/Bram Greenfeld, Leah Burkes, Garrette, Nick, Abby

genre: Fluff

word count: 1301

----------------------------------

The bell rang and everyone else stood up to leave the room.

All day, Bram noticed how everyone was talking about Simon and his post on CreekSecrets. He was trying to get away from everyone at the moment and that includes social media so he has absolutely no idea what was going on.

“Hey Bram.” Garette waved his hands in front of him. “… are you listening to me?”

“what? No.” He shake his head, noticing that nobody is in the room except both of them

“I’m sorry what were we talking about?” “I said lets go to the carnival with the guys.”

"But the play is tonight, right?”

“I know. But the guys wanted to support Simon and I do too.”

"s-simon? W-why?” Bram’s eyes widen, since he cut off his communication with Jacques he has no idea what he’s been up too, and trust Bram when he say its excruciating.

“haven’t you read his post?” Garette looked at him suspicious.

“Are you okay Bram?”

“Yes!” he panicked, “Yes,” he grabbed his bag and turned it inside out to find his phone. “Where is that damn phone?”

“Bro,” Garette grab Bram’s arm. “its right here.” Pointing at Bram’s desk. “are you okay?”

“oh.” Bram chuckled. “I forgot.”

“Bram,” Garette started suddenly serious. “I know there is something going on with you and Simon and I know that there is something you’re not telling me.”

“Wait i—“

Bram tried to explain. Garette raised his hands, “Let me finish,” he said smiling. “I’m your best friend, I’m not going to force you to tell me but I saw how you looked at him.”

He said staring directly at Bram. It’s the very first time Garette said something serious while looking so serious, he sometimes pass everything as a joke. “What am I going to do?” Bram’s eyes tears up.

“Read the post. I’ll leave you to it.” Garette grabbed his own things and stood up to leave the room.

“One more thing,” he said when he reached the door. “No matter what happen I’ll be here, we all will be.”

“How did you know it was me?” He smiled,

“because if you weren’t, you would’ve already punched me and I would’ve been bleeding on this floor.” They both chuckled.

“as what I said I’ll leave you to it. This is your thing, if you’re not ready to tell anyone that’s fine, but don’t forget that I’m right here.” and with that left the room.

----

“Last call for the Ferris Wheel!”

Garette looked at Bram who looks so anxious he might pass out.

“You okay bud?” he said as he pat the others back.

“Do I deserve him?” he asked anxiously

“You deserve your own love story too.” Garette chuckled “His words not mine.”

“O-okay.” Bram started walking. He was so nervous he didn’t notice Garette shoving Nick away so he could pass.

“Wait!” Bram ran towards the Ferris wheel. His heart is pounding as his eyes met Simons’s. “C-can I sit there?” his heart continued to pound, praying so hard that he’s alone in his room typing his feelings away but his not. He’s right here, standing in front of Simon like an idiot.

“I’m kind of waiting for someone.” Simon said confuse. Bram couldn’t help but smile hearing Simon talk to him.

“Yea, I know.” Simon opened the railings to let him in.

“It’s Bram.” Abby smiled tears falling and so did Leah.

Nick just looked at Garette. “We did it.” They both smiled and gave each other a fist bump.

Once Bram sat down he could feel Simon’s eyes burning his sides. ‘Oh shit! He’s right beside me!’ he looked up and was surprise to see Simon staring. ‘Oh.’ He panicked and looked down to his hands.

“It’s you.” Simon smiled Bram’s eyes widen, he looked back to him and seeing Simon’s smile he couldn’t help but reciprocate it.

“It’s me.” He said softly.

“But” Simon looked away from him for the first time. “…the night at that party.” Bram could hear the anxiety in his voice.

“Oh,” Bram almost punched himself. He could still remember Simon’s face when he caught him with that girl that night. “Yea, I was drunk and confused and it ended, like, a minute after you saw us.” Bram didn’t care if he sounded so defensive, he wanted Simon to know. “I tried to run after you, but you already left with Leah, and I thought… you know… that you were…”

“NO!” Simon almost screamed. “She’s my bestfriend.”

“Well, I obviously know that now.” Bram chuckled and Simon followed.

“and you’re Jewish.” Simon chuckled. “which is cool.”

“and I’m black too, and gay.” Bram smiled feeling tingles all over his body. It wasn’t the very first time he was able to say that out loud but saying it to Simon is totally different. “kinda crazy huh?”

“I didn’t think you’d come.”

“Me neither.” Bram looked away. “Until I was walking towards you I didn’t know I had it in me.” He paused and looked at Garette smiling at him. “I guess I just needed Garette’s pep talk.”

The Ferris wheel started to move and Bram’s heart pounded. Now his here, what was he going to do? He spent hours pounding if he should come that he didn’t even think about what he wanted to say. He looked at Simon who is looking forward with a blank stare.

Bram fidgeted, “A-are you disappointed that it’s me?”

Simon turned to look at him, which made Bram avoid his gaze.

‘did I just said that out loud?’

“No.” Simon said smiling.

Bram couldn’t help but smile too, butterflies going crazy in his stomach, he looked at Simon’s eyes, down to his nose, lips then back to his eyes again then he noticed that the other is leaning closer to him. He stared at Simon’s lips, and then it happened.

Simon kissed him.

It was quick Bram was almost confused but Simon looked at him, a look that seems like he was asking permission if it was okay. Then he kissed him again. Longer this time, Simon touches his face while his other hand was on his waist. Bram moved his hands to touch Simon’s hand. That was when everyone cheered. Bram panicked, for the first time noticing that there are so many people below them, and they were all familiar faces.

“Are you okay?” Simon asked hands still on his.

“Yes.” He chuckled and saw Garette, Abby, Nick, Leah, and the rest of his schoolmates cheering for them.

“Remind me to thank Garette later.” Simon pulled his waist closer and kissed him again.

---

Simon was walking Bram towards their front door hand-in-hand side-by-side. They both are smiling like crazy.

“I was just wondering.” Simon started.

“What would you have done if I wasn’t with Leah that night, and you ended up running after me.”

“I—“ Bram blushed. “I was going to—“

“Yes?” Simon asked amuse. He’s never seen Bram this shy before, and now that his like that to him now, God that makes him feel special.

“I was going to ask if you were Jacques.”

“What?” Simon was surprised. “You knew it was me?”

“I wanted to know, I wasn’t sure because maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to see.” Bram said shyly.

“Seeing what you wanted to see?” Simon was more confused now than he ever was.

“Good night Simon.” They kissed, “I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a safe trip.”

Simon then rode his car, not before he kissed Bram’s lips again. He was pulling over their parking lot when the thought passed him.

“Seeing what I wanted to see.” Simon repeats what Bram said earlier.

“Wait he liked me?!” Simon’s eyes widen as he pull out his phone and texted Bram.

[papersandkeyboards]

5/31 to 6/5: (everything else and) Prom

36th WEEK, MAY 31-JUNE 5, 2016.

English class has always been interesting to me. If I think about it, English class (be it here as a first language, or back home as a second language) is always more fun than Indonesian Language class back home. In my class in Rainier Beach, which is IB English Language and Literature, we read classics and Shakespearean plays and interpret those. (don’t get me wrong, I had to read The Scarlett Letter for English Lang class during my short stop in Houston and it was painful, but something about how English teachers’ way of teaching is so interesting and, of course, not boring)

For the semester’s big project, however, we were told to make podcasts. About anything.

I understand that podcasts aren’t much of a thing in Indo, but the simplest way to explain podcasts in a nutshell is audio lectures, audio books, discussions, serial stories, or anything about a topic. And honestly, it’s not even just lectures. You can talk about anything in a podcast (in my Theory of Knowledge class, we listened to a series of online podcasts entitled “Serial”, which covers a story for each season that is told in an interesting and comprehensive way).

But this time, Mrs. Shaw doesn’t limit us to just audio, but we can put visuals in it as well. So, basically saying, our big project was to make an audio or video file talking about things which has our arguments in it. And we could do it individually or in groups of three, max.

Me, being myself who essentially resents group works can be quite an individualist, of course, decided to do the podcast by myself.

And me, being myself who almost always aims to be anti-mainstream, chose a topic that most people would hate and throw rocks to after the first glance.

I argued that zoos aren’t necessarily inhumane to animals. For a side that believed that zoos are downright cruel and disgusting, I stood against them.

Of course I know people aren’t always going to agree with me, but as a (used-to-be) debater, I tried to smother everything in good wording (and some solid arguments can i get a hell yeah), and at the end, all I need to be satisfied was Mrs. Shaw saying “you got a point.” (aka “hmm iya juga ya”).

It was an enjoyable school task to do. Ehe.

Anyway, the next two days, Wednesday and Thursday, were two sacred days we all students acknowledged dearly as Early Release days. The neverending amazement of Seattle has turned me into somewhat a Dora the Explorer, even though it was clear that I have always been a damn-straight home person back home. Would rather stay home that being somewhere else.

But an exchange student logic was that you’re missing a lot of you spend a lot of time at home.

So Kira and I hit the waterfront and rode the Seattle Ferris Wheel.

And the next day I spent by myself, visiting the Seattle Art Museum and indulging my fangirl side by watching X-Men: Apocalypse.

Remember I mentioned once that it was the time of SIFF—Seattle International Film Festival?

Karen, Eric, and I looked up the showtimes and movies, trying to find anything interesting, and of course the choice went to an Indonesian movie, entitled “Copy of My Mind”, so we watched it on Friday evening.

It never occured to me that films in film festivals aren’t those up the regular theaters. Most of them are months old before the time of the festival itself, some even a year old or more. But I guess that’s the point of having film festivals: as a platform to promote films, because almost all of them don’t include big starry actor names, and all of them aren’t in a franchise.

Copy of My Mind, however, was starred by Chico Jericho and Tara Basro (blame was on me for just recognizing these names for the first time), and soon after the movie started, I got why I’ve never heard of this film before back home: it would never be able to air in Indonesia. Simple as that.

As usual, my movie-goer sense was so much indulged in cheap plots of franchise films where every message is shown explicitly during the film with a mandatory happy ending and a bonus of occasional car explosion, so when I saw the ending of Copy of My Mind, I was disappointed. I didn’t get the message.

(later I googled the film and it turned out to be a hard-core social and political satire towards my own country) (so yeah, go watch it guys) (majukan perfilman indonesia)

On Sunday, I was reminded by the remaining days I have by attending Nouha’s goodbye party. She would leave three days after the goodbye party, which is June 8, and I’m still staying here until the end of the month, but surely it sucks to remember that you have to leave eventually.

But the goodbye party was a fun one—sliders, chips, other typical tasty American barbecue snacks in the backyard, people bringing going-away presents, and of course, pictures.

(I swear the pictures were up somewhere but now I couldn’t find them)

---

Aight. That’s quite a brief (???) summary of how the first 5 days of the week went. Whereas I usually said the fun part comes in the weekend, this WHOLE week was full of fun and things to do (thank God for early release). HOWEVER, though, however,

this weekend was Prom.

That’s right, everyone, you heard it. The infamous American High School Prom.

....

Gitu aja sih. Ehe. OKAY. Prom in Beach... was definitely UNLIKE Proms in other, harshly saying, white rich school everywhere else. But the part where people ask other people to Prom, well, that was done everywhere, I guess.

I was walking the hallway when Rebecca and the others stopped by and Rebecca asked me, “Nabila, who are you going to Prom with?”

“...????? I don’t know??? No one asked me to.”

“It’s America, you can do whatever you want. Why don’t you ask somebody?”

yaela yang bener aja lu dasar ampas kepala.

Jadi gini sih. The way Prom works (or at least in my school) is that only the seniors are invited, unless the seniors ask somebody else from other grades—juniors, sophomores, freshmen, or people from other school—to be their prom date, then those persons are also invited. And I know Kira is a junior, so I asked Kira as my prom date so she can experience prom and everybody is happy. Also because Rebecca and Emily were committees so there are fellow juniors there. yaela padahal karena emang gaada yang ngajak dan akhirnya ngajak temen sendiri supaya tidak garing

I didn’t take too much trouble setting up a promposal—Prom proposal—unlike those who are seriously dating—a friend from Theory of Knowledge class made a poster and got his football team to promposed his girlfriend, it was very sweet—and because I was an awkward unromantic piece of shit, I asked Kira to be my prom date during stretching before softball game.

She was appalled. At least she wasn’t repelled, which was good. Good thing she didn’t expect a canon of flowers or posters or an orchestra playing for her to be promposed.

And that’s the story on how I got my prom date.

Which was totally not unusual, because at Prom night I found out that Alex asked Justin, a junior, so that Justin can experience Prom with his senior fellows too. Zion, who is gay, asked Nina out of friendship. A lot of people do that that night. Many people even went with their squads instead of being in pairs.

When Kira was scrolling through numerous online shops to find a dress, I bought mine in Nordstrom Rack—which was basically Nordstrom but they sell old stuff that were cheaper (because I didn’t feel like spending hundreds of bucks on a dress I’m gonna wear, like, once or twice for my whole life). Not only I bought it in Nordstrom Rack, I also bought it last Febuary, which was before Winter Ball. That being said, I used the same dress as what I wore for Winter Ball. Which was good, because I didn’t want to waste money on dress I would most likely use once. The admission ticket was around $40 anyway, while other schools my AFS friends were in charged around $80-100 for it. sekolah saya miskin emang, tapi asik.

Sementara ada temen-temen saya yang ‘melamar Prom’ pakai poster, bunga, permen karet (dia nawarin sekotak permen karet gitu trus pas dibuka ada tulisannya ‘Prom?’ trus dikasih bunga, lucu abis sih), ada juga temen yang asal ngajak cewek manapun yang kebetulan lewat, dan kalau ditolak, geser dikit trus ngajak cewek lain terdekat. But then again, I didn’t know how significant a prom date is—whether being asked to be prom date equals being asked to be one’s girl/boyfriend, or is it just a one-time occasion thing?

Whatever it was, I do know that at least Prom in Rainier Beach High School doesn’t shun single people. Yay. Nabila can go to Prom without worries.

HOWEVER.

However, around a week before Prom, I found out that Indonesian Students’ Association of Seattle University (ISASU), which was like a couple blocks from my house, was holding some sort of event, and guess who came as a guest star.

....

NO.

I DO NOT LIKE HOW THIS TURNS OUT.

I REALLY DON’T.

After contemplating which one is rarer: to experience a classic American high school Prom night every exchange student wants to be a part of or meet a massive Indonesian dazzling pop-star in person, I did what I thought was best for me: I chose Prom and let go of Raisa, with the arrogance of “I’m Indonesian, she’s Indonesian, we’ll meet again but I only have this one chance for Prom” without realizing that that will least likely to happen.

I came to Kira’s house on Saturday afternoon, June 4, 2016, and ate Indomie for pre-Prom dinner (Prom dinner paling tidak modal sepanjang sejarah manusia). Then we had a photoshoot in which Kira and I look like a happy couple of lovers. Then Laura drove us to the venue. Which was a not-so-big space in SoDo but enough for the whole class lah.

(pic credit to whoever took this)

Long story short, it was fun. At first it wasn’t really because both Kira and I did not know many seniors despite some people I recognize from classes I am in, so we talked with Emily and Rebecca. Then people I know started to show up—Nina, Justin, Zion, Alex, Gretar, and others—and we danced. What was fun about it was that everyone didn’t dance with their dates, but mixed in into big groups of friends and was having a pure hyped-fun time instead of a romantic one. (not to brag but Nina and I did some duets and we were killing it) (kapan lagi bisa hacep dan meliar kaya begini ya)

The King and Queen of Prom, instead of voting, was done by a raffle (maybe so that everyone can get a chance instead of a cliche competition of popularity). Rony got King and Antoneyah got Queen. There was also two photo booths, an elegant one with a sofa and a fun one like a photobox along with hats and fake mustache and other stuff you could use.

(’twas Rebecca, Emily, Rony the playboy, me, and Kira)

(terus baru 3 tahun kemudian AFS menggerayangkan gerakan AFSPride)

(mampos kenapa w pendek sekali, bahkan dalam standar orang indonesia)

(tUH udah naik tangga pun masi lebih pendek)

THEN, the event continued for whoever wants to join everyone to the Seattle Ferris Wheel, while free tickets were provided! We sporadically went to the Ferris Wheel by Uber—some people didn’t come due to curfew and probably an after-party somewhere (I finally convinced Kira to join after many considerations. Since the Wheel was closer to my house, she agreed to crash in my house after).

Lucu banget aih. Anak-anak remaja pakai baju-baju bagus, sebagain berpasang-pasangan, dan sebagian lagi bergerombol kelompok, dan rame-rame masuk ke kereta Bianglala.

(’twas Gretar, Alex, Justin, me, Kira, Zion, and Mohamed)

Kapan lagi kaya gini huhuhu seneng.

It was—I don’t remember—a bit after midnight? After we were done Kira and I took an Uber back to my house, had ice cream in my bed while watching Monsters University, and fell asleep halfway through the movie (and my laptop ran out of battery).

---

Aaaand that’s probably as close I could ever be with Raisa: in the same city, neighboring neighborhood.

But at least, thinking back, I would not trade the experience I just had with anything else.

Salam dari penghadir Prom Rainier Beach High School dengan style hijab paling cantik (karena memang satu-satunya),

Nabila Safitri.

[thelasthundredmiles]

July 21st, 1981

I stayed in tonight-- no meeting. Last night I had another surprise attack of insomnia. I shouldn't be surprised, with the enormous amount of caffeine I consume all day and into the night. I hate not being able to sleep. And it really takes its toll on me the next day. By mid-afternoon I was tired and grouchy and mildly depressed and couldn't concentrate on my work.

The stifling heat has returned. Subways are like steam baths and a thick haze hangs oppressively over the city. Now I know why the weekend exodus to Fire Island is such an obsession with New Yorkers. I came home from work tonight and crashed on the sofa watching television-- fitfully dropping into sweaty naps. About nine o'clock, Allan and I walked down to the Our Lady of Pompeii street fair. Carmine Street lit with bright decorations, the curbs lined with food stands and vendors and games of chance. At one end of the fair was a "round up" the carnival ride that revolves at great speed and then turns on its side-- a ferris wheel at the other end of the street. The smell of food and charcoal smoke hung over the street. The evening air was cooled and moist by a thunderstorm earlier. The doors of the church were open. The altar blazed through the open doors, old women sat at tables in the back of the church and sold religious cards and medals. Allan and I strolled up and down the street. I played a game dropping quarters into a glass case in the hopes of causing accumulated quarters to drop through a slot and win them. Allan bought a cannoli. We made comments about all the handsome men. I groaned and pretended to weep whenever I passed a particularly beautiful man. Allan and I rode the Round-Up. He was on his way to J's tonight-- but he stopped at Boots and Saddles with me. Jules was there. Sitting in a corner looking forlorn. I went over and talked to him. Polite chat. I told him I had seen Wendy this weekend and that she had sent her regards. That was a lie. He seemed pleased. The bar is not crowded and I am bored at once. Even Allan and I seem to run out of conversation as we stand and stare about the room. The relaxed chatter out on the street gives way to the fixed rigidity of standing with a drink in your hand staring at a roomful of gay men staring at each other. I decide that I hate gay bars. We leave. I say goodbye to Allan and he heads for J's. I head in the direction of home. The streets are busy and there are lots of beautiful men. I dread coming home to quiet night alone. I look through the windows of the Bagel-- a couple of AA faces. On the street I see a couple more. We nod to one another. I go to Julius'. It is on the way home and I feel more relaxed there than at Boots. The air conditioning feels good and I stand at the bar and have a soda with a twist of lime. The crowd is boring and unattractive. Except for one dark beauty at the end of the bar. I stare at his beautiful face, his dark olive skin, his thick black mustache. God, just give me a man with a black mustache and I will give you my heart. He pays no attention to me and finally leaves. He is short and balding. I leave and meander down Christopher still not wanting to come home, but not being sure what I want. I head up Greenwich toward the restaurant I was at with Joanne last weekend-- another gay AA hangout. There were no gay meetings in the Village tonight and the restaurant was quiet and empty. I went in. While standing at Julius' I had actually enjoyed the music and conversation going on around me and had decided that bars have their place in life after all. Walking into Uncle Charlie's I just hated the whole concept again. I had a Perrier quickly and walked home.

The superintendent of our buildings lives on the first floor with his brother. The super's name is Jack, a young, rather surly man whom all the tenants seem to loathe. I've only met him once, and actually thought him likeable. I like smart-ass masculinity. He lives with his brother, who is a drop-dead hunk-- tall, curly brown hair-- gorgeous face, bright pearly teeth, brilliant smile. I see him often in the mornings when I'm walking Sadie-- my heart always stops when I see him. He is a god. And he always has a quick friendly smile for me, which even further compounds my high school crush on him. I don't know his name, although Allan and I met him when we were moving in-- he bought the loon sister's desk. Anyway, tonight when I came in, I saw him through the shutters, sitting in his living room at his desk. No shirt. My heart started to pound. I stopped and stared for a moment. An actual god. I came in and got Sadie, pleased at the excuse of walking her to enable me to stand on the sidewalk and watch the fabulous creature. As we passed in front of the window, he stood suddenly. He had only a towel around his waist. He crossed the room toward the window and grabbed his crotch with his hand. An innocent unconscious gesture that nearly caused me to faint. I walked away quickly with Sadie so that he would not see me. Any further efforts at window peeping were thwarted by two neighbors sitting on the stoop. I even came in and waited awhile and went back out for ice cream. I had to appear casual and could only glance through the window as I passed. The room was empty.

Wearing Allan's glasses so as not to have to put my contacts back in, I just went outside. The apartment was dark. My love has gone out.

[suitcasetales]

Memory Lane

Except for the times that we went to Florida (once to Disney, twice to visit friends in Lantana), my family always vacationed in Myrtle Beach when I was growing up. Even when empty nesters, my parents continued to go to Myrtle Beach. Occasionally, as an adult, I, and sometimes, we, would go to MB when “the beach gang” was there. Two adult trips are particularly memorable, one when Princess Di was killed and another when I surprised my Dad three months after my Mom had died.

We drove up in to proper Myrtle Beach yesterday for a trip down memory lane. I wanted to go to the tacky Gay Dolphin Gift Store and marvel at their license plate wall; I wanted to meander through the arcades, watch the paper tickets being dispensed after a successful game of skeeball and pause in front of the crazy, distorting mirrors; I wanted to see all the colors and flavors in to which an ice-cream cone could be dipped; I wanted to stand on the sidewalk and watch the machine methodically stretching out the taffy; I wanted to watch and listen to the German Band Organ; I wanted to watch the youngest children ringing the bells on the wooden boats circling the cement pond; I wanted to ride the Ferris Wheel and look down on the crowds from above; I wanted to admire the artistry of the antique carousel; I wanted to sit on a bench and people, watch waiting to recognize someone from home.

But alas, most of these were only alive in my mind yesterday.

We did go in the Gay Dolphin (where shirts that read “I got lost in the Gay Dolphin” on on sale) and marvel at the wall of license plates. I never saw the great collection of shark’s teeth they once exhibited but I would bet that some of the inventory is the exact same inventory on display fifty years ago!

We did meander through a small, surviving arcade. The distorting mirrors were no longer there, but the baseball games were ready for some action. We had to load money on to a plastic credit card and swipe it at the skeeball machine to activate the click, click, click of the hard wooden balls filling the “balls to play” opening. No longer do the games dispense paper tickets but your card accumulates them electronically. We cashed in our winnings after our $5 investment for 4 rolls of Smarties.

We rode the Myrtle Beach Skywheel, much bigger, higher and safer than the Ferris wheels of old when your sandal might fall off or you might holler at someone down below. Those views up and down the coast were never available to me in the 60’s so that part was interesting.

Back at the truck, which we had parked for free along a meter-less sidewalk, I looked across and saw Mammy’s Kitchen. At dinner last night at Frank’s in Pauley’s Island, without having made reservations, we ate dinner sitting at one of five bars in the sprawling restaurant. Ironically, the bartender, our server by default, was the great granddaughter of the couple who started Mammy’s in 1953. Her family no longer runs it but I thought it was a fitting end to a nostalgic day.

[elizabethsaige]

i haven’t edited this all the way and I don’t really have a desire to so sorry if there are mistakes in this but hope you enjoyyyy!

It's not every day that Emily and Beca meddle in their daughter's life, but this is one very rare occasion.

Alex has a crush.

Normally, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but this particular crush happens to be on the daughter of Jessica and Ashley, former Bellas. During the USO tour, the two revealed that they were a couple and a few years later, they welcomed their daughter, Olivia, into the world. Beca and Emily, along with Aubrey and Chloe, were in the delivery room during the birth.

Beca not only cried but realized at that moment that she wanted to have kids with Emily, which prior to that experience, the two decided that having kids were not in their future. The two were very busy with their careers, and kids would get in the way of what that. But after seeing the birth of Olivia, they decided that they really did want a child together.

Over the next 13 years, The Mitchells and The Jones-Smith family got closer and closer, Beca and Emily learning new things about Jessica and Ashley that they never knew before. I mean, it took them at least a few years to finally distinguish who was who, but eventually, they got it right, and now, they four girls couldn't be closer.

Alex and Olivia spend a lot of time together. They grew up being best friends, never leaving each other's sides. So it wasn't that big of a surprise when Beca found out that Alex developed a crush on Olivia.

It was quite obvious, actually; Alex wasn't the most subtle about it. Beca always noticed her daughter staring at the girl and laughing a little too obnoxiously when Olivia would say something only a little bit funny. At first, she thought it was just a "best friend" thing, but then she realized what was happening. In fact, she did the exact thing with Emily.

And it's not like she cared that her daughter had a crush. It's only natural. But Alex WAS her mother's daughter, and if the young girl was anything like Beca, she had a lot to be worried about.

//

Alex had her first "date-without-Olivia-knowing-it's-a-date" date, and although she didn't exactly tell her moms, Beca knew. Oh, she totally knew what was going on.

"Mom, Olivia and I want to get frozen yogurt, can you drive us?" Beca looked up to see her daughter and Olivia standing in front of her. A small smirk formed on her lips. Quickly, she shut her book and stood up.

"Sure, let me grab mama, and we can go," Beca said all too enthusiastically. She ran to the backyard where her wife was laying in the hammock, passed out.

"Babe, wake up."

Emily opened her eyes, "What do you want?" Beca stifled a laugh. Grumpy Emily was her favorite Emily.

"You're so cute when you're grumpy," Beca began, "but we have to go. We have to take Alex and Olivia on a date."

"What???"

//

As soon as Beca and Emily dropped the girls off at the froyo place, Beca parked the car and turned off the engine.

"Care to explain what we are doing here and why our 13-year-old is doing on a date?" Beca threw some sunglasses on and handed a pair to Emily, at which the girl just stared at the metal eyewear in her hands.

"Alex has a crush on Olivia. I figured it out a few weeks ago after, and now, they're on a date, but I don't think Olivia knows its a date, so now we have to spy on them." Emily frowned.

"Wait, I'm confused, why doesn't Olivia know it's a date?" The two got out of the car and slowly started for the froyo building.

"Because I don't think Alex has told her yet, but I think Olivia likes her too," Beca whispered as the two arrived outside of the building.

"First of all, why are you whispering? And second of all, this is so wrong. I can't believe we are spying on our daughter!" Not only did Emily think this was wrong, she thought it was a total invasion of privacy.

The two slowly made their way inside and looked around to see if they could find Alex and Olivia. The girls were found sitting in a back corner, laughing about something, enjoying their ice cream.

Beca darted behind a big plant, pulling Emily with her, fearing that the two would see them. Once they were in the clear, they settled at a table, far away enough to where they could still see the girls, but the girls couldn't see them.

Alex was laughing at something Olivia said, making heart eyes at her, as per usual. The sight made Emily melt. "I can't believe our daughter has her first crush! And on a girl! But why wouldn't she come to us?" A pout formed on Emily's lips as she frowned.

"I don't know, because we do shit like this and embarrass her?"

"Um, there is no 'we' in this situation. You're the one that does shit like this and embarrasses her, I have no part in this," Emily replied, crossing her arms.

"You're here, aren't you?"

"Because you made me come with you!"

Suddenly, Beca felt a tap on her shoulder. She whipped her head around and came face to face with her daughter.

Uh oh.

//

"I can't believe you were spying on me. I never want to talk to you again!" A furious Alex screamed as she stomped up the stairs and slammed the door to her bedroom. This was not good. This was sooooo not good.

"Love, I told you this was a bad idea. Now, look at what happened," Emily scolded Beca. Shame and regret washed over Beca as she watched her wife walk into the kitchen. This was going to require a lot of fixing and any time anyone got mad at Emily, she turned to baking their favorite treat.

Now, usually, anytime anyone would get mad at Beca, she'd just let it blow over, but this was different. It's was her daughter for Christ's sake. Her sweet, perfect daughter who was just a baby yesterday. It's hard thinking of your own kid as someone who has crushes and goes on dates and has...feelings. All of the feelings.

And having a daughter that likes girls makes it ten times harder. The three never even discussed the possibility of Alex being gay and although obviously, it wasn't a bad thing, Beca still worried about Alex going through some of the things she went through when she realized she was gay.

So, Beca ascended the stairs and made her way down the hallway to Alex's bedroom. Before knocking, she took a look at the young girl's door. A brightly colored sign hung on it saying 'Alex's Room' with a picture of the girl at 7-years-old. With her missing front teeth, the small brunette was flashing her beautiful smile as she posed with her moms at the carnival.

Man, those were the days.

Beca felt tears welling up in her eyes. Damn this kid that stole Beca's heart the moment she looked into her eyes.

Quietly, she knocked on the door.

"Go away, I don't want to talk to you," Beca heard from the other side, as expected. She slowly turned the knob and peeked inside the room. Alex was laying on her bed, hugging a pillow, with soft music playing in the background. Oh, she was totally a mini Emily.

"I said go away."

Beca smirked as she closed the door and made her way to sit on the bed beside her daughter.

Silence washed over the room as the two sat on the bed, Alex ignoring her mother and Beca staring right at the girl.

Beca was the first to break the silence. "Remember when we went to that carnival when you were 7, we rode the ferris wheel like twenty times? We talked about how mama and I met and when we realized we were in love with each other and then we talked about our first kiss, and you covered your ears because you thought it was totally gross to date people and kiss them? I told you that someday, you won't think it's so gross anymore," Beca spoke as she shifted awkwardly beside Alex, "that day has come, and I'm scared for you and a little sad. I'm sad that you aren't a little kid anymore that thinks love is gross and I'm sad that you're growing up and developing feelings and shit." Alex looked at her mom with those damn tear-filled eyes that broke her heart every time she looked into them.

"I know this is a part of your life that you might not always want to share with mama and me, but I need you to know that you never should feel embarrassed or scared to tell us anything. We are always going to support you, no matter who you love unless it's like a serial killer or whatever, but you get the point." Alex giggled and wiped her eyes, getting rid of the tears.

"Okay," she responded, nodding. The young girl embraced Beca into a big hug and laid her head on her shoulder like she would when she was younger. A small tear rolled down Beca's cheek, making her hold Alex a little tighter.

[guidingthulite]

A, B!!!, J, L, N, P, Q, R, S, T, Z!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLS TELL oof i love ur writing!!

OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN THANKS EMY!!!

aaaaa you love my writing? i’m so happy to hear that

A: Your current OTP.

HAMAHAYA. HAMAHAYA BIG TIME. And also lowkey Ishimondo but HamaHaya is my main one!!! I love them so much and I have so many headcanons and stories for them!!! That’s kinda why I want to put them on poly relationships? Like I want these relationships to be explored but I can’t take them away from each other

B: A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind.

I haven’t considered Yuuichi ² (and i refuse to call it any other way) but man did you change my mind. Did you.

Also there was this one time I just liked MasaHika as a BROTP but then @producktions and my brother came and… I surrendered :’D

J: Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr.

Oh, Voltron definitely! I saw all this fanart, and fics and stuff and all I knew it was filed under ‘gays in space’, but then @justanothermatsugirl and @srta-double invited me to watch and… Porntron came to be. And Porntron is the best thing. Ever.

L: Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for?

It depends? I usually try to make both of us happy when it comes to requests, for example, if that person likes, say, HamaHaya but I feel like I want HamaKura I will ask them for HamaHaya anyways because 1. HAMAHAYA and 2. Maybe they will put more feel into the art!!! And what is most important of art is the feelings that it is put into it! Best art is the art you can tell the author put all their heart on~!

but if i could choose anything, give me the hamahayakuraminamana, you cowards

N: Your favorite fandom (for the people; not the thing you fangirl over).

Um… Is it normal I want to say the MOTHER fandom on 2014? Especifically on DA. It was like a tiny family… Everyone knew each other. Everyone was nice with each other. It was so nice. But now everyone parted ways and I have no idea where everyone is. Most left DA (and so did I) and I can’t help but wonder where they are. But my current fandom is really nice too… It’s like a family, too… Sometimes.

P: Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Lately I’ve been thinking about a Go Ares AU a lot and hamano goes to tengawara for obvious reasons but that’s kinda boring so I gotta think about something more interesting >:3c

Kind of a joke AU, but still:

Have you guys ever heard about ~LA FERIA~? It’s like this weird Spanish thing we have. Everyone dances and sings these lame guitar songs which are mostly like aAAAAaAAAaaaYYYYYYYY @loreprotectionsquad can confirm BUT! that’s not the interesting thing! The interesting thing about Feria is that we basically get a mini amusement park on our town, just because! 

So my brother and I thought about some Go kids there and it just…

Hamano gets Kurama a giant Snake plush and he tries to ride on a… Ride with it and it almost slips out but he clings to it and manages to save it. Hamano thinks it’s adorable. Kurama swears he’ll kill him if he tells someone. Hamano promised Hayami he’d get a plushie for him too, but he is unable (because you can only win one plush per day) so Hayami gets a dolphin plush for him. Imagine Hayami walking around with two overly joyful boyfriends clinging to their giant plushies. Goals.

Kirino and Shindou ride on the ferris wheel which they don’t set up anymore, but still. and Ibuki tries to climb it but fails (?

Shinsuke rides on some dinosaur themed train, and there’s clowns with balloons and stuff you can snatch from them. He gets a plastic axe. Which are super hard to get i need to tell you the story of how i got one when i was like 8. it was so stupid it’s funny He somehow convinces Tsurugi to ride too, while Tenma and Aoi look at them. They have become the ultime balloon snatchers. No one can stop them. Aoi and Tenma are so proud.

Taiyou comes, sees Tenma and waves at him, approaching him. Then all of the sudden, Fuyuka comes rushing after him, and tells Tenma that ‘Taiyou should be in right now, sorry for the inconvenience’ and picks him by the stomach (you know… like a kitten, with her arm around his torso? you get me, right?) while Taiyou tries to escape, but fails.

Kariya and Hikaru try to hide from Hiroto and Midorikawa, who have come with them, but Kariya wants some time alone, while they want to take pics of everything they do, basically.

Something about Yukimura and Fubuki was mentioned, along with Kishibe and Aphrodi, but I don’t remember ;v; Also, Amagi going with Mahoro and Yukie, and all of the third years (Minamisawa as well, for some reason) going together too.

My brother kinda dislikes Galaxy (except Tetsukado, Kusaka and Konoha) so I’ll do their stuff myself.

Minaho and Manabe compete to see who will get more plushies. They only get one keychain working together. They give it to the first team member that they see because they don’t know who should keep it.

But that was after the previously mentioned day, so the Second Year Trio got them plushies instead (they got the hang of one game and they WILL make the most of it. And, they have to help a boyfriend out, right?

So they spend the rest of the festivity together. And they have fun and stuff.

There’s one ride with horses. Konoha spends 98/100 there. Otherwise, she wouldn’t come. It’s so noisy, and crowded…

Kusaka comes and goes to check on her. He can’t ride on most… Rides (this is redundant) anyways. He’s too tall.

Tetsukado and Hamano competed to see who was better at Duck-Fishing. Let’s just say that Shinsuke and Hamano’s boyfriends came home with lots of plushes and prices…

Sakura aced all the games. How did she manage, no one knows (she was, in fact, the first one Minaho and Manabe offered the keychain to. But she rejected it and got two super sparkly keychains for them instead. Minaho and Manabe offered it anyways in exchange but she said that it was nothing and that they should keep the one they got.

Matatagi showed his brothers the place and rode on some rides (seriously how is this so redundant). Eventually they joined the Plushie Fest. Matatagi’s brothers cheered. He, not so much, not when he had to carry around giant plushies for the rest of the day, as his brothers were too busy exploring around.

I think that’s all??? Am I forgetting someone? except zanakurou but i don’t know what to do with him. he dances sevillanas. i don’t know. sorry darling

Oh, yeah, and there’s also this AU my brother and I made in which Kurama is a time traveler and quite literally Hamano and Hayami’s son (he has a big sister named Estrella but that’s for another time) and he has come because their parents were too slow too realize they had feelings for each other and he fears for his existence and his sister’s (???

Q: A ship you’ve abandoned and why.

Can you believe I used to ship Min/////a/kura? But, to be honest, I didn’t know what that was. I just found some comic of them and I thought it was cute. Then I got more into InaEle, and well…

I’m saying that one because I can’t think of anything else XD

R: A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships.

The Kurama multiship fest, which I will proceed to explain, even though the first one is sorta popular, but still:

Hamano and Hayami, because I saw HamaKura and I thought it was really cute! (when i got used to kurama, at first i didn’t like him but i found hamahayakura and i went ‘eeeeeeeehhh’ but you already know that story) then I thought of HamaHaya + HamaKura and Hayami just got into the package for some reason XD

Hikaru, because I was salty I didn’t ship him with Minamisawa and I wanted to ship him with someone but I didn’t know who, then he had a little scene with Hikaru on the games (when they go look for Shinsuke or something) and a lightbulb light up on my head

Tenma because, honestly, how can you have someone you ship with everyone but not Tenma? Plus it’s cute. 

Tsurugi because I saw somebody posting drawings of them and I went ‘hey they cute’ and that’s all. also the fandom team might or might not had something to do with it

Kariya because they had this scene when they went to China on CS that i don’t even remember but what i do remember is my brother asking me why i wasn’t saying anything about the ship, and i went ‘well, i don’t, BUUUUUUUUUT’ and so it started.

Minaho because, and listen well because this one is weird, I was in class, and I was bored, and I decided to make quadrants for some InaEle characters, I started by Minaho and went ‘huh so, Moirail, Manabe, Matesprit, Manabe, Kismesis, Manab-wait’ so I decided to crack it up a bit and now it was ‘Moirail, Hamano, Matesprit, Manabe’ but I wanted to give him a Kismesis (that could’ve been perfectly Matatagi, but I didn’t think of that because I’m dumb) (also read: a love rivalry more or less) so I gave him Kurama. THEN I played BigBang and they had a small interaction and since back then I couldn’t even read Hiragana I don’t know what they said but Kurama made a sad face afterwards so I take it as I was right

Fei because Kurama learns Bouncer Rabbit on Galaxy (actually the two-people version. He does it with Hamano because I’m obvious) and also Fei stole his number, now Kurama has to steal something back (???

Taiyou because on my CS game Kurama, Taiyou and Hikaru always do hissatsus together on the random thing (that makes also Sakura and Matatagi do Butterfly Dream together all the time for some reason. Which is funny because I lowkey shipped it before starting Galaxy) so I got used to seeing them together.

Ibuki because my brother always calls them losers (he’s a bit mean sometimes, but I love him ;v;) so I started relating them n stuff.

Hakuryuu because my brother and I have this thing called the ‘Spammer Club’ which is for characters that say other character’s name a lot. We have Hakuryuu (who we jokingly call churugispammer) Miyasaka, Ibuki, Hakuryuu and Kurama got in too for some reason. So yeah. It happened. N stuff.

Also I brotp him with Kinako, but I brotp Kinako with everyone.

S: What’s a headcanon you have?

Hmm… I headcanon that out of the Second Year Trio, only Hamano has siblings (2 sisters, him being the middle sib- and no that’s not me self projecting ok) 

Hayami has mentioned more than once on the games that he wants to be a scientist, and I headcanon that it’s because his mother is! Which also means she’s super busy most of the time. So Hayami is quite dependent, but he can’t cook for his life. Hamano is surprisingly okay at cooking, and he’s learning to bake.

Also, Hayami really likes penguins for some reason.

T: What are your favorite male/male ships or female/female ships?

Ack, that’s a hard one ;v;

- Male/Male - (to keep things fresh from 3 diff fandoms each)

Hamano/Hayami (Inazuma Eleven)

Ishimaru/Oowada (Danganronpa)

Killua/Gon (HxH) 

Shu/Valt (Beyblade Burst)

Hau/Gladion (Pokémon)

- Female/Female -

Diana/Akko (Little Witch Academia) (i gotta continue it sob aaa)

Ootani/Anna (Inazuma Eleven)

Moon/Lillie (Pokémon)

Z: What’s a ship that you want to ship publicly, but everyone on tumblr hates it so you keep your mouth shut about it?

Ahahah, what are you talking about [hides my polyship mess under a rug] it is not much that they hate it, just that no one is interested XD

[czerny182]

i went to the carnival last night and had a big gay time!! we ditched it after half an hour and only rode the ferris wheel but it was still a time :) 

[bisexual-bookman]

Terms and Conditions May Apply

Poker Pair week Day 5

Prompt: Whim

Word Count: 1648

The cool spring air washed over Allen as he rolled down the window of the sports car, and he grinned as his hair blew around his face.

"Enjoying yourself, boy?" Tyki asked. Allen looked over at the older man, nodding his head.

"I can't wait to go to the fair with everyone and eat all of that food!"

Tyki chuckled. "Of course you are."

They pulled into a large grassy field that was currently acting as a parking lot. They found an empty spot and pulled in, pushing the doors closed as they exited the car. Allen smiled at the bright rides and hummed with excitement at the smell of diabetes in the air.

"C'mon Tyki, let's go get some tickets and then find everyone," Allen chirped. Tyki chuckled as Allen grabbed his hand and eagerly pulled Tyki along. They stood in line at the ticket booth for a few minutes, both walking away with colourful bracelets when they were done. 

They stood off to the side of the booth, both looking for Allen's friends. After a few minutes, Allen pushed up his sleeve, checking the time.

"They were supposed to meet us here by now," Allen huffed, standing on his tiptoes to glance over the crowd. 

Tyki chuckled lightly at the sight. "Calm down, they're probably on their way here now." 

Allen looked around a bit more before his face suddenly lit up.

"There they are! I can see Lavi!"

Allen raced off to greet his friends, while Tyki followed at a more leisurely pace.

"There you guys are! I was getting worried," Allen said, once he had caught up to his friends. Lenalee gave Allen a hug in greeting, and Lavi slung an arm around his shoulders.

"Heya Allen, long time no see!" Lavi cheered, pulling Allen in for an awkward one-armed hug and shaking him a little before letting him go.

"Did you bring your fucking sugar daddy with you?" Kanda questioned condescendingly, cutting off Allen's reply. Lavi swatted Kanda's shoulder disapprovingly, mouthing 'Yuu-chan, be nice!' before pulling the dark-haired man to his side.

Allen looked over at the tall man that walking their way. "Yeah, I did. He offered to pay for my food and admission."

Being a broke student really had its drawbacks.

Lavi's eyebrows raised. 

"All your food?" he questioned. Allen nodded in response. Lavi did a low whistle as Tyki approached.

"Wow, man, you gotta be loaded if you're going to pay for Allen's food! This kid can fucking eat!" Lavi exclaimed, flashing a grin in Tyki's direction as he approached, "Are you prepared?"

Tyki just laughed lightly. "Oh don't worry, this isn't the first time I've taken him for food. I am very prepared."

Allen stepped up beside Tyki, and looped an arm through his.

"All right guys, where to first?"

                                          ----------------------------

As the day was drawing to a close, the first couple stars peeked through the clouds as the sun slowly set. Allen had managed to drag Tyki onto one last ride before they left, insisting it was the perfect ride for this time of day.

This was how they ended up on the Ferris Wheel, and Tyki did have to admit, it was the perfect ride. You could see the entire fair grounds, and even the parking lot, when you were at the top of the wheel. As the giant wheel rotated around again, it stopped with Tyki and Allen's seat at the very top, Allen sighed and scooted closer to Tyki, leaning his head on Tyki's shoulder. Tyki's arm, which was currently resting on the back of the seat, curled around Allen's shoulders.

"Cold, boy?" Tyki asked. Allen shook his head, snuggling deeper into Tyki's side. Tyki gave a throaty chuckle, running his fingers along Allen's arm. They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, enjoying the sunset and warmth of each others' bodies. Allen tilted his head up, gazing at Tyki's face. He studied the man for a moment, liking the way the setting sun hit his face, the dying light highlighting his angular features.

Without thought, Allen pushed his body upwards to place a kiss on Tyki's cheek. Tyki jolted at the sudden contact, staring wide-eyed at Allen.

"Ah, boy, what was that for?" 

Allen shrugged. "I don't know, I just wanted to."

A confused look came over Tyki's face. "You know, boy, this isn't part of our arrangement."

"I know, but..." Allen twiddled his thumbs, sitting up and leaning away from Tyki. Tyki looked at him questioningly as Allen struggled to find the words to describe what he felt.

"I know we started this whole thing, where... you know, I kept you company and you paid my bills and all that... and it's been great--" Allen suddenly cut himself off, looking down, a deep blush setting on his cheeks, trying desperately to find the words to continue. Tyki sat still and silent, watching the man fumble with his words and his hands. "... but now that we're spending so much time together, and you've been so good to me, I just can't help but feel like, I don't know... I feel like there's something there, you know? And it's not like I don't like how we are right now, I do really enjoy this... but, don't you ever feel like you wanted something more? Because sometimes I do, and it's these moments where I realize, I don't really want to have anyone else to be here with me like this, you know?"

"What are you trying to say, Allen?" Tyki said softly, trying desperately to catch the smaller man's gaze. Allen now seemed to lose his momentum, now silent in his search to explain himself. Tyki cleared his throat.

"Well, when it all began, all I had was work. I came home to an empty house and I didn't have the motivation to look for anyone. I didn't have the time. But on that day that I found you, with all that rain, the bus splashing you and ruining your recital sheet music, something in my head told me to help you, get you out of the rain..." Tyki paused.

Tyki suddenly looked lost in thought, his recollection taking him back to that day.  Allen had told Tyki, a stranger, for no reason at all, how he was juggling three jobs and a full course load and music classes on the side. They had found a coffee shop to get Allen warm and dry and spent the afternoon together, casually talking and spreading out the pages of Allen's next piano piece over the table to dry. Tyki knew right away that they got along really easily, and in incredibly awkward terms, offered to provide for Allen, so he didn't have to worry. It started with incredible embarrassment at first, but coming home to Allen practicing his concertos on the piano Tyki never used, his house finally felt like a home. All Tyki needed was companionship, and Allen needed the means to work on his music in peace. There was never any pressure for something more.

Allen giggled suddenly. Tyki looked at him questioningly, wondering if the ashen haired man had gone insane. Allen covered his face in his hands and continued to laugh, just making Tyki feel more and more insecure. After a few moments, Allen calmed down, looking Tyki full in the face, brushing a tear from his eye.

"Dude, that is so gay." 

Tyki startled a little bit, staring at Allen for a few seconds before his shocked expression melted into an easy grin.

"Maybe."

Allen smiled and looked down at his hands, licking his lips.

"I guess what I mean to say is... is there room between you and me to... I don't know, be more than friends?"

Tyki smirked, and pulled the smaller man towards him, enveloping him into a firm hug.

"Well, boy, I don't know if I can afford you."

                                           -------------------------

As they hopped off the ride, Allen's trio of friends pushed through the crowd towards them, worry clearly on their faces.

"Are you guys okay?" Lenalee asked with concern, grabbing Allen's hands in hers.

"W-what do you mean, Lena? Of course we're fine, we just rode the Ferris Wheel, nothing crazy..." Allen sputtered in confusion, looking over at Kanda and Lavi, who were holding hands and looking equally worried.

"You idiot, you do know that the ride you were just on was broken for like half an hour, right?!" Kanda spat, looking concerned and slightly disgruntled.

Tyki and Allen glanced at each other for a few moments in shock, before dissolving into laughter. The trio before them stared at them like they had lost their minds.

"I guess that explains why we had the most amazing view of the sunset for so long, all we could hear was the music and noise from the crowds on the ground!" Allen giggled, staring with absolute adoration at Tyki's face, Tyki pulling him into the crook of his arm and gazing back at the friends with a cocky air.

"Well, now that we're here, d'you guys have anything else you wanna do?" Lavi said without missing a beat. Tyki paused for a few moments before shaking his head.

"I'm afraid I have some business at home I have to attend to, and I'll need Allen's help, if that's all right with you."

Lenalee smiled and nodded, Lavi shrugged his shoulders and grinned, nodding as well. Kanda, on the other hand, screwed up his delicate mouth with a grimace, looking completely disgusted and offended. Clearly something unpalatable was going to happen in Kanda's mind.

With that, the pair broke away from the group, waving their goodbyes as they threaded through the crowd, hand in hand, the day drawing to a close as the sun softly disappeared below the horizon.

[dudejonathan]

Day 39: Vienna

First thing in the morning, Garrett helped guide me in the process of calling an audible, and I decided my next and last destination on my trip will be 🥁🥁🥁Berlin!

After a quick workout, I had planned to reward myself with a Sacher Torte for breakfast. So I did!

I returned to the famous cafe I went with Garrett and Fra 3 years ago, and got their wonderful chocolate cake (not too sweet, great texture, slight apricot taste). I was so excited to bang back some of their incredibly delicious bellinis and start my day with a buzz, but they didn’t have them anymore! This was very disappointing, so I had a glass of wine and a Sacherkaffe instead (has some chocolate liqueur in it).

Afterwards, I got a street beer and rode out a bit of rain at a wurstel stand. As the rain abetted, I was off I wander the downtown area, eventually finding A) a very famous and awesomely-roofed cathedral and B) a square where we met Garrett’s friends 3 years ago for New Years’ Eve drinks. With a slight buzz I was crushing hard on Vienna and taking in the quiet neighborhoods. Could I possibly buy a small place here?

As the rain picked up again, I decided it was time to head to the Belvedere Palace, one of the many museums that advertises Klimt’s art (they have The Kiss). Boy do they love some Klimt here in Vienna.

The palace and palace grounds were impressive, but it didn’t take long to go through what they had (perhaps I was experiencing a wee bit of museum fatigue). A pleasant, if not riveting, experience.

Back to the hostel I went to do some work and ride out the now driving rain. Around 8:30 I decided I didn’t want to wait indoors anymore, so headed to a dark bar to grab a drink.

Side note: smoking in bars is the worst. It’s so all-encompassing, sticks to your clothes, etc. I’m so happy America is very anti-smoking. I would enjoy the bar scene way less if spots were always this damn smokey (autocorrected to Smokey 3 times, but I got it on the 4th thank you very much).

The rain had largely stopped, so I decided to head off to one of my top to-do’s in Vienna, visit the Prater amusement park. It’s a free place to visit where you can pay per ride. You can also walk around with beer/wine! How delightful!

First I did the Giant Ferris Wheel, from 1897. There’s a lot of history with it, as it’s one of the oldest and largest, and was an engineering feat. You get in large olde timey carts and get 15 minutes to see Vienna from on high (probably more interesting in the day).

After that, I did an indoor roller coaster, which was like Space Mountain and The Mouser’s underachieving child. Fun though! I also do a VR evil clown thing, which was silly but kind of fun (and a wee bit scary)!

The scariest part, frankly, was walking around large parts of the park with the lights out and the rides closed, but you hear noises, laughter, screams and music far off (and sometimes, the music just blasts at random places). I think the earlier rain kept the crowds largely at bay, and meant that they didn’t keep most of the stands/rides open. It really felt like walking around a haunted, abandoned amusement park. My senses were tingling for sure.

Oddly, in the middle of the unsettling dark, there was a beer/wine stand open. Nothing else open for many minutes in any direction. Was this a ghost bar? Perhaps, but those ghosts pour a HEARTY cup of wine.

After truly enjoying that surreal experience, I went to a cocktail bar to meet up with Yvette. We had a few drinks, then at my behest, started to roam (I like multi-faceted nights, after all).

She took us to a tiny, smoky gay bar (how unlike me!) called Mangos. We met a very cool, kinda drunk Viennese 50 year old that we talked to for awhile (married to a guy, but just wanted to go out and meet people for the night - how cool and unAmerican). When this bar was closing around 4am, he led us to a super cool bar that was a converted brothel. It sill had that aesthetic, with red velvet on the walls, swanky seats, etc. Also, so much smoke. 😐 The three of us danced to kind of weird jazz/pop music. I handled it well enough, but not the best dancing music. Our friend, who just wanted to dance, danced his nips off. Yvette and I did too, to a less spastic/wacky degree.

At 5am/closing time (how dare they!), we parted ways with hugs and headed back to the hostel.