#we tried our best to remember as many fic as possible

[makeupbychio]

divorce? hell nah // logan howlett x fem!mutant!reader

Summary: You’d been fighting a lot with your husband Logan lately over pointless stuff, so Laura is worried about the future of her parent’s relationship. So are you.

Warnings: stupid fights, cursing, angst, reader dealing with depression, Logan being the best daddy and husband. Mentions of anxiety, family and work drama. Laura being your daughter so found family. Happy ending, mentions of smut.

Words: 2.5k.

A/N: Once again, a reminder that english is not my first language so I’m sorry if there is a mistake. This takes place in the world of Logan (2017) but everyone’s fine of course, let’s pretend that no one is dy1ng and you adopted Laura. I had a dream about this so enjoy, I wrote it so fast before I forgot it. Love y’all! <3 ALSO, you can read this with my previous Logan fic TRAINING SEASON, this is them in the future.

italics = past.

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“Logan we need to stop fighting like this over stupid shit” you exhaled tired of this. Lately you've been fighting a lot with Logan, so frequent that it feels weird to you. Because not even when you were younger you remember fighting so much, and 80% of the time it was over meaningless stuff. 

The day was over, so both of you were doing your night routine to go to bed. The nostalgia of a sunday night is all over the air. Logan just joined you after putting Laura to sleep, he closed the door of your shared room. You’ve been trying to get up from the bed but the day was really  exhausting mentally for you.

Logan wanted to add that the last fight was you that started it but he held himself to make it worse because it would not add anything mentioning that right now. It was already in the past. “Yeah, I agree.” He just nods and stands far away from you with his hands resting on his hips, he’s looking at the floor thinking for a solution.

You are aware you are not at your best moment, you are dealing with so much lately. You are all the time worried about your family drama, then there are so many things changing at work that are stressing you out too. Also, of course the daily worries that include having a family. 

Logan is aware of this tough moment you are going through and he’s always there to support you, to have a shoulder to cry on, all ears for you so you don’t have to hold anything in your mind. That’s also what you did when he’s dealing with shitty things. 

But lately, god, everything seems to get on your nerves for the both of you. Sometimes the clothes are all spread on the floor, or when you arrived late from work and there is nothing on the fridge left to eat, or when Logan tries to defend Laura for something that really needs a punishment, etc. And it doesn’t help when you had a shitty day at work or keep receiving bad news from your family, so sometimes you just explode and Logan is also mad or had a shitty day so that’s when the fights start. 

“We really need to stop, Laura's been asking if we are okay” you told him with tears in your eyes. “When you went for a run in the morning, she came here to our room and laid next to me in bed so we had breakfast together and she looked under the weather, like she was not having a good time even when we had sweet treats and stuff…” you started to tell him about what happened earlier. “So I asked her if everything was alright and she looked right into my eyes and with a sad face she asked me if we were going to divorce- and- I told you Lo it was the most heartbreaking thing she could possibly ask me and…” you started to sob by remembering that conversation. 

Logan is now sitting next to you at the end of the bed. Holding your hand close to him, all of his attention to you. “And I was so shocked so I put my hands on her face holding her to really pay attention to what I was about to say…” you continued. 

“No, baby. Why are you asking that? Your dad and I love each other so much, and both of us love you so so so so much. We are not getting divorced” you held her face trying your best not to cry in front of her, the thought of being apart from the little family you had with Logan made you sad. 

“I’m asking because last night I heard you guys fighting, I mean you were raising your voices and then dad closed the door really hard. And it’s not the first time” Laura confessed and you felt bad that she had to listen to you argue. “Last week when I was outside playing with Franky I also heard both of you yelling”. 

“I’m sorry, baby. You should not have witnessed that, don’t worry. With your dad we’re okay” you caressed her hair to give her some calm to her mind.

”My friend Dani told me that it happened the same to their parents that are divorced now. So I’m scared that one day dad will leave us just like Dani’s dad” Laura told you with tears in her eyes just at the thought of her dad leaving her and her mom. 

That’s when your heart broke into a million pieces. You kept telling her not to worry, that you were having pointless arguments. You didn’t want to tell her about your problems at work and with your family because she’s a little girl, she should be worried about school and having fun as a kid and not about divorce and her dad leaving. 

So once you noticed she calmed down, you stayed in bed the whole morning and watched a movie together with Franky on Laura’s lap. The dog she adopted never leaves her side especially if he senses that she’s sad. 

And also you made up your mind that things needed to change, to stop these stupid fights with your husband. 

You told Logan about what happened in the morning when he left for his daily workout. Not wanting to tell him during the day because Laura is so concentrated on every attitude of both of you. That’s why you are telling him now that she went to sleep. Logan sighs like never before, like he was holding his breath the whole time you were talking, but never letting go of your hands together. “I know our daughter is smart and so empathetic just like you, so I get why she’s worried. I had to admit that I closed the door so hard, that’s on me. We need to stop fighting over bullshit, babe. We need to fix this, but I’m not leaving you guys”. Logan let go of your hand to stand in front of you squatting down holding your knees, “I’ll NEVER leave you, you hear me? We had been through so much worse, remember? And we made it because I fucking love you and I know you love me”. Logan reassured you too in case the same thought that Laura has is placed in your mind too.

You caressed his cheek and looked into those beautiful eyes of his, “I love our family, Logan. Like you said we made it through so much worse, I’m sorry I’ve been irritated lately. That’s on me, I’m going to do my best” tears flowing down your face. Logan quickly wiped them off. 

“Babe, I’m right here. I don’t know why but when you’re in a dark time you always felt free to cry and told me about it but this time it feels like you’re holding all of this sadness to bury it deep down. What 's going on? What changed?” Logan asked with curiosity because you’ve been together for years. 

“I don’t know, Lo. Maybe the hormones, maybe I don’t want to be a burden for you guys. Like I have to be strong for Laura, she’s my number one priority right now and she had an awful life before she found us so I don’t want to give her all of my shit, she’s a kid. Like I said, she should be worried about school and having the childhood she deserves” you poured your heart out to your husband. 

“My love you’ll never be a burden for me, you hear me? I need you to say it so that you understand. Besides, Laura needs to see us sad too, we can’t lie to her that life is all the time just joy. I’m not saying to tell her all of our problems, but that is valid if we feel some kind of way, we would be faking if we were smiling or just okay all the time”. Logan, the angry wolverine you used to know was gone the moment he met you back then in Charles’s mansion. Anger stopped being his only emotion, you made him feel in that same moment that he was always going to be able to show his real emotions and stopped playing this character of the angry and intimidating man. 

“I understand, Lo”. You finally gave him a smile. It is not fair for you to struggle alone and let go of this stress by fighting. You really need to start saying what’s going on, and Logan is always going to be there for it. Just by thinking of the huge difference of the fights you used to have in the past, a small laugh escaped your mouth. Logan looks at you surprised but happy that you got something off your chest. 

“What’s on your mind now, sugar?” Logan asked curiously. 

“I just remember the things we used to fight when we started dating, I mean we were younger and sometimes really stupid. And also the fights we used to have for mistakes we made on missions. We still fight when the other is on the field out there in danger, the worry about losing the other one always starts an argument…” you answered. 

“Yeah but those always ended up with a make out session…” Logan gave you a flirty grin, his dirty mind already enjoying the memories. To be honest, after a mission with or without an argument it always ends with both of you giving each other so much pleasure and comfort for being safe and sound. 

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! THAT WAS WAY TO DANGEROUS!!” Logan losing his mind because you almost got killed out there. 

“I HAD TO DO IT, I COULDN’T LEAVE THEM RIGHT THERE!!” you explained yourself why you came back to the field and risked your life. “IF I DIDN’T HELP THEM, NOBODY’S WAS GOING TO!”. 

God, your empathy is one of Logan’s favorite things about you, but more than once it has given him almost a heart attack. 

“NOT ALL THE TIMES WE CAN SAVE THEM ALL, I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT. I CAN’T LOSE YOU, PRINCESS” Logan holding your shoulders steady.

Once you were back at the mansion, and in the privacy of your shared room, Logan wanted to keep talking about the risk you made, but you just wanted to take a shower to take off all of the work done. “Honey, I’m right here in one piece. I’m fine” you brushed his hair with your fingers to calm him down. Trying to get a smile from him. 

“I insist, I can’t lose you. You’ll be freaking out too if it was me in your position” Logan raised his brow knowing you’ll be worried too about him. 

“I know, I’ll be way worse hysterical” you admitted, but at the same time just trying to calm him down. Right now both of you need to relax after a hard mission. You kept brushing his hair until he stopped talking and just leaned into your touch. Both of you ended up taking a bath together and stayed all afternoon in the sheets making love. Other times the fights after missions didn’t seem to stop and led to angry sex. 

“Now that you said that, it reminds me of Laura explaining to me something she realized when she heard us fighting last night and…” you started laughing but also felt guilty.

“I’m sorry, honey. We didn’t mean to raise our voices, we didn’t mean for you to hear us but sometimes with your dad we had our differences. But everything is fine now, we talked about it and it’s okay now” you didn’t lie. One thing you and Logan hate is to go to bed angry, it’s also true that you didn’t want Laura to hear it.

“Yeah, I know you were fighting because it wasn’t the happy screams you and dad make at night sometimes”. Laura said with the innocent intention a kid has. You almost choked on your cup of tea.

You don’t know if it was because of her powers that she heard the happy screams she’s talking about, because the house is huge and her room is not that close to your shared room. And since she arrived, every time you have sex with Logan both of you are really aware that there is someone else in the house so you keep your voice low and always lock the door. You don’t want to traumatize your daughter.

Not like before having kids, or when Laura is staying the night somewhere else, that Logan asks you to be loud so the neighbors can hear his name.

“Are you fucking kidding me she said that?” Logan laughing at your face, red like a tomato. 

“Don’t laugh at that, Lo! It was so embarrassing to explain to her that it was a conversation for another day…” you hid your face in your palms, Logan still teasing you about your sudden shyness. “So I told her that her daddy was going to explain someday when she was older why adults make those happy screams” now you are teasing him because his face almost dropped. Already anxious about how he’s going to explain to his daughter how babies come to the world and all that stuff. 

“Nope, because she’s never going to grow up. She'll always be our little girl” he tried to convince himself about that. You gave him a pat on his back that he can handle that. 

“Our little girl is almost 12, babe. So you’ll have to have THAT talk sooner that you think with her. But don’t worry I’m sure you’re going to nail that because you are the best daddy”. You assured him.

God, you can picture in your mind the reaction of Logan when teenager Laura will bring her first partner. You’ll need to be there for him because your daughter is about to experience a lot of things and your husband will need your help. 

“Don’t be a brat with me please, sweetheart I’m begging you” Logan easily put you on his lap, brushing your hair out of your face. “What if instead of giving me more anxiety you help me get rid of that anxiety we’ve been dealing with lately?” he kissed your neck, his breath so warm against your skin. 

“What do you suggest, big boy?” his hand now traveling down your spine and you hold his face close to your chest, Logan leaving kisses on top of your clothed breasts. God, you miss this, you miss him being this closer. 

“Maybe a bath or I can fuck you like this right now but we have to be really careful with the noises, especially you doll. I know you like to scream my name and how good I make you feel” Logan already taking his shirt off to whatever option you are down to. You smacked his toned chest at the insinuation, pulling him closer to kiss you with the eagerness you missed so much. He lifted you from your spot heading to take that bath, it was going to be a long night and tomorrow morning you both need to be up early to drop Laura off at school.

[jacespookiebear]

.ೃ࿐ 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡: 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 3

summary : you are the youngest daughter of Viserys I Targaryen and Aemma Arryn. Outlived your mother and your older twin brother, Baelon, in childbirth. You were titled as (Y/n) “The Undying” Targaryen.

pairing : jacaerys velaryon x targaryen!reader

warnings : incest, tension, sexual content, age gap (reader is about 3-4 years older), jace is about a year older in this fic, misogyny, self-harm, violence, angst, teen pregnancy, birth, meraxes is alive and thriving with vhagar :D

Masterlist

With a huff, you pulled the sheets off your heated body and the chilly air quickly hugged you. You climbed out of bed and walked out of your chambers.

Night has came very quickly, but you could not find sleep so easily. On the morrow, you will be leaving for Dragonstone with your sister, Rhaenyra. Many thoughts had roamed your mind enough to keep you from your slumber.

Without knocking, not wanting to wake your sister up, you slipped into your young sister, Helaena’s chambers. Although it was dark in the room, you could still see the blown out candles and your only light was the starry sky. You could feel her eyes on you as you slipped inside her bed, reaching for Helaena’s arms that had quickly reached out, to your surprise.

Helaena pulled you closer to her, her warmth made you feel calm and soothed. “Is it true?” she asked, in a whisper. “You are leaving?”

“Yes, sweet sister.” you answered.

She nodded, with her head comfortably resting on your chest. Out of everyone in the family, Helaena will miss you the most. To her, you are the only one who understands and never treated her differently.

“I heard from the handmaidens,” she whispered as you leaned in to hear more clearly, “sister has proposed that I could be betrothed to Jacaerys.”

From the memory being remembered in your mind, you softly chuckled. Even though, you both were in the dark, you knew Helaena’s cheeks were flushed with redness.

“And what is wrong with that?” you teased, “He’s a sweet boy! He will take care of you and honor you.”

Helaena smiled at the thought—you were right, out of the possible suitors, Jacaerys was the best of them. But she knew his heart wouldn’t belong to her, it was clear that it would always belong to another.

“I do not wish for you to leave.” Helaena suddenly confessed, biting her lip, tears falling from her eyes.

You could feel the tears falling onto your skin, “I shall visit,” you promised, with a gentle tone in your voice, “once I return, we will sit by the gardens and eat cake with berries, Meraxes and Dreamfyre by our side”

Helaena started imagining the thought while she squeezed your hand softly as she tried drifting off to sleep, “Widowed and petrified, a powerful darkness roams in the emerald sky.”

Listening to her prophecy once again, you sharply breathed in. Helaena had only whispered this prophecy to you ever since you both were children. Till this day, you had not know what it meant but it had frightened you immensely.

At last, you were able to sleep, in the arms of your sister. But you were not prepared for the massive headache you would receive the next day.

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“You must rethink this decision!” Alicent urged while you and Lysanna were folding all of your gowns and coats to place them in the luggages. Your things were almost ready to be put in the carriage with the other luggages that belonged to Rhaenyra and her family.

“I refuse to have you leave King’s Landing before your nameday!” you shook your head at her attempts and silently dismissed Lysanna to come back later. You turned to see Alicent with tears in her eyes, you only mentally scoffed in return.

“The King allowed it. He wishes for me to be where I would truly be happy and that is living on Dragonstone with my sister.” you reminded the queen and she only took your hands into hers as a way to plead but it was not working.

“My dearest, you would truly be happy here! In the Red Keep,” she argued and squeezed your hands, “being by the sides of your young siblings and by me. I cannot bear seeing you go, I have always saw you as one of my own.”

“This is not goodbye. We will exchange messages by raven.” you reassured, but Alicent only sobbed louder. She knew messages were nothing if you were not here by her side physically. Sure, you will miss studies with your step-mother and watching your father work on his architect. You will miss playing with your young brothers out in the courtyard. And of course, you will miss your young sister and her whispering prophets that she always tells you.

“Let us appreciate today, step-mother. I swear to you, I will visit on dragonback.”

Alicent let out a nervous sigh from her mouth. Her lips pursued as she looked down at your interlocked hands.

”I…” she stammered, and tentatively let go of your hands before stroking your long silver locks gently, “…will see to it that your luggages are properly prepared..when you arrive on Dragonstone, I want you to message the King and I to know you have arrived safely. Please remember to visit, my dearest.”

She chewed on the inner side of her cheek as she attentively watched your expression brightened at her words. As you gave her a warm hug, she could only return it back tightly. As you both let go, Alicent only had the strength to give you a sad smile before excusing herself to leave your chambers.

Before finally packing your last gown, you called for your knight to come and grab your luggages to bring them outside. While they attended to your things, you looked around the room, noticing how empty it looks without your gowns, your jewelry, your precious collections of art pieces. You snapped out of your thoughts once Lysanna came in your chambers with your nephews—they looked rather happy to know you were coming as well.

“Thank the gods, you will be living with us!” Luke beamed, you laughed at the young boy who prompted himself to sit on your old bed. “Jace was begging mother to let you come with us before she had told us you and Liz were already coming as well.”

“Shut up Luke!”

“It is alright, my Prince,” you smiled at Jace as he only turned red from your words, “your thoughtfulness moves me deeply.”

Lysanna cleared her throat before getting up from her seat and turned towards you, “Perhaps we should begin heading to the carriage? Princess Rhaenyra has already left.”

Once her words settled in, quickly you helped Luke get back on his feet and ushered him and Jace to follow Lysanna to the carriage. As for you, you decided to ride on Meraxes and meet your family at Dragonstone.

But before you decided to leave, you roamed around the castle to look for your father. You were not the type to leave your father stranded without a farewell. As you reached your father’s chambers, his knight bowed to you and held the door open.

Your father was sitting by the windows as usual, you witness him kiss the ring that once belonged to your mother. The sight had only made you feel some kind of guilt for leaving—you did not want to leave your father’s side, especially when his condition has worsen but it was time for you to leave King’s Landing.

Your father had finally looked up and his tears were replaced with a smile, “My sweet girl, what good brings you here?”

“How could I leave without seeing my father once more?” you approached your father and the gloomy atmosphere quickly disappeared once you hugged him, of course, he returned the hug happily. The act suddenly made you remember a sweet memory between you and your father when you were younger.

A sweet memory of when you ran towards your father to give him a huge hug after riding with Meraxes for the first time. He was there to see all of it.

The old King relished in the moment, it pained him to see you leave, the youngest daughter of him and Aemma, his one true love. But he knew Rhaenyra would take great care of you, she had always shown a great amount of love and care for her younger sister. And perhaps, you will come back with a family of your own, the thought only made your father feel contented. He hopes to live until then to see it.

The hug had only lasted a few seconds but you wish it lasted more. Your tears were noticed by your father and he wiped them off with his remaining hand. “You grown to look just like your mother, y/n.” your father whispered, you let go of him and stand before him. Your sad smile reassured your father.

While you prepared to leave—about to wish him farewells, he looked down at his hand, fiddling with the rings that belonged to him and Aemma with his thumb before deciding to take them off and reached over to your hand to place them gently on your opened palm. You looked back to your father with a worried look.

“Oh father! I couldn’t-“

“I want you to have them..” your father demanded, “you must have them..for me..”

Without wanting to argue back and forth with your father, you looked down at the rings with curiosity before picking up the one that belonged to your mother and examined it. It was pure gold and very beautiful. Within seconds, you slowly placed both rings on your index and ring finger. From this day forward, you will wear them with pride and with the intention of honoring your parents.

Once Viserys watched as you put them on, he saw Aemma for a split second—his heart swelled and was glad that you could be the one to hold on to the jewelry now. He never planned on donating them or simply have them be thrown away after his death. “You must be on your way now, my sweet girl.”

The farewell had almost made you forgotten about traveling, Meraxes had been waiting for you for quite some time now and you did not wish to upset the Silver Queen. With swiftness, you placed a kiss on your father’s cheek and waved him goodbye as you left his room.

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It took over a day but you and your family had arrived to Dragonstone, you let Lysanna attend to your things and unpack everything for you, told her to find the biggest chambers and place your things in there. Meraxes settled on the east side of the huge island to rest, she was very big for the dragon pit. You took the time to explore the island while the rest of your family settled inside the spine-chilling castle.

Dragonstone is cold.

But it was rather better than Kings Landing. Sure you missed the weirwood tree and the gardens. You missed your siblings, father, and step-mother. But you were met with true happiness around the presence of your older sister and her family.

Thoughts clouding your mind, you released a sigh as you roamed your hands on the sand.

It was relaxing in Dragonstone. The atmosphere made you feel at peace—even if it was actually dreary and lonely but that’s what made it better. The sounds of waves crashing towards the shore, the massive caves underneath Dragonstone, and the overwhelming winds made you gleam in happiness. You couldn’t wait to explore the entire island.

Although yes—there’s not a lot to do in Dragonstone. You see yourself spending most of your days in the massive and grand library, reading histories about your House and Old Valyria. But you had the company of Lysanna and your nephews to help you not feel lonely. Surely, Meraxes will always be in your company too, she will be with you as you roam the shores.

“How long have you stayed here?”

You looked up from your spot on the sand, quickly clasped your hands together to get rid of the sand that stayed sticking on to your palms. Your neutral look on your face replaced with a small smile.

You made room right by your side and patted the space, “Come sit, nephew. The sun is about to set.” Jace quickly sat down and moved even closer by your side.

“Mother was looking for you. She had asked me to fetch you back inside,” Jace mentioned and you turn your head to look at the shorter boy, “but I would like to spend some time with you before we head back.”

You giggled at the statement and slightly placed your head down on his shoulder, Jace only leaned into your touch. “That does not make sense, my prince, you always spend time with me. With any opportunity, you’re always by my side,” Jace felt warm and fuzzy from your words. It was the truth, since birth, he had always preferred to be with you.

“My sweet protector.”

“Princess..” Jace muttered, a hint of sadness in his voice, you looked at him with curiosity. “Has it been decided? Your betrothal?

His question made you slightly hiss from irritation. Alicent had not said anything but you never accepted the betrothal. You’re sure that since moving to Dragonstone, you do not need to marry Aegon.

But..now who will wed Aegon?

You shook your head and gave him a relieved sigh, “No,” you answered truthfully, “…but I am glad it has been postponed. I rather wait a few more years until I am to be betrothed.”

Jace finally breathed out—he was holding his breath while waiting for your answer, he smiled while he watched the sunset.

“I do not wish to see you be betrothed..at all” he whispered, softly.

“I know…I’m sorry.” you mumbled, hugging your knees tight to your chest and leaning your head to rest on your knees instead as you turned to keep staring at Jace. You could not help but caress his hair to bring some sort of comfort.

“I do not want to see you abandon me, Princess..” the young boy admitted, staring back into your tired lilac eyes. He watched your long curls of hair dance with the wind. After roaming your hand in his hair, you gently grasped his hand and smiled.

“The last thing I want is to abandon you, nephew. I swear it on my life, I will never leave your side.” You swore and tightened your hold on his smaller hand. “I shall stay by your side till my last breath.”

Jace nodded and pulled you into a strong embrace.

“There is something I have always wanted to confess,” he said, nervously while he planted a quick kiss on your cheek. “but I will tell you when I am of age, so please wait until then.”

You giggled at his sudden awkwardness, “I will try my best to wait, my kind Prince.”

“That is not reassuring!” he shouted and you continued to giggle as he started to pout. “You have to promise me, Princess!” he insisted, with his arms slightly shaking you.

After you stopped your laughter, you took a deep breath and nodded. You wanted him to tell you what is his confession but you had a feeling you already knew what he wanted to say, you were with denial—you didn’t want it to be true. But of course it had to be, you know it, the whole Red Keep knows it. You known since the day he had wished to be married to you. You weren’t ready for that day to come just yet, surely, you have felt some sort of feelings for Jace as well but you also knew it would never be a happy marriage, knowing Targaryens marriages had always ended terribly, so you shall wait until he is older and mature, hopefully, he will forget about his confession and carry on with his life.

“I promise I will wait for you, Jacaerys.”

From the tone of your voice, Jace was finally reassured. The sun also had finished setting, it was a crescent moon tonight. You got up from the sand and helped your nephew get up as well while he grabbed your coat for you and handed it back. You both started walking back to the castle—knights at the front, letting you both in quickly and you let your nephew lead you to the left wing of the castle to where you will be staying.

“Your chambers is close to mine. That way, I could always visit you without having to travel throughout the castle,” Jace informed, he looked excited as he told you. Out of all the chambers in the castle, he chose one that was closest to yours. “Come! Let us have supper!”

He took your hand once again and lead you to the dining room, your family and Lysanna were seated in the long table, quietly chatting and eating from their plates. The room looked eerie—same as all the other rooms in the castle. The chairs were dark wooden, sculpted with dragons, as for the table. The fireplace was placed by the large windows, it was the main source of light for the massive room.

Rhaenyra looked up while she was attending the babe that was placed on her lap, Joffrey. She smiled and motioned for the handmaidens to help you both be seated. You sat by Lysanna, who was happily playing with your other nephew, Luke.

“How was your adventure, exploring the land?” Rhaenyra inquired, placing her eyes on you while you took a sip from your cup. The wine tasted much more rich than the wine in King’s Landing.

“It was lovely,” you praised, “I love the shores, I watched the sunset with Jace.” As you spoke, Jace quickly turned at the mention of his name.

“It took me awhile to find her!”

Ser Laenor cleared his throat as he looked towards you and his son, while he was very much into his meal. “Dragonstone is a very big island.” he acknowledged, you nodded in agreement.

You and Rhaenyra continued to chat about many topics, you had let her known that you decided to help Lysanna speak High Valyrian. You all were happily conversing with one another and it made you feel much better, realizing this was the first family dinner you had in weeks.

The peace was interrupted when a handmaiden entered the room with immense speed, rushing to the Princess Rhaenyra. The handmaiden whispered into the princess’ ear and immediately your sister’s face dropped, and her body became tense. You turned to look and her grip on Joffrey slightly tightened.

Your sister seemed frozen, so you spoke, “Sister, what is it?” you asked, nervously. With no response, You turned to whisper to Lysanna, asking if she could put the boys to bed now. Lysanna, unknowing of the situation, nodded and helped Luke from his seat and pat Jace to follow her. As she was getting ready to leave, you gently took the babe from Rhaenyra and handed him to Lysanna before they all had left the dining room quietly.

With impatience, Ser Laenor took Rhaenyra’s hand, “Rhaenyra, what has happened?” Clearly concern was painted all over his face. The once delighted atmosphere in the room became dreary and dull

“The Lady Laena Velaryon,” Rhaenyra breathed, not wanting to make eye contact with you or Ser Laenor “has passed.”

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lord I think I caught the cold lol but I updated!! Im so surprised by how much attention this story got, thank you sm guys!! I really appreciate it.

taglist (woohoo!): @sigynxlokiwifelover @writer-lee5

[angeart]

hhau mimic arc rambles - part IV: the inbetween (hot spring bath)

(~5,5 k words) // other parts & au masterpost here

-- a piece of warmth in a cold wasteland (a piece of hope in a nightmare) --

It takes some time, to slowly patch up the wounds on their souls and bury the incessant fears. Scar and Grian have each other, and they aren’t letting go. Not this time. Not again. Never. (Unless we get our hands on this au which, oh, we have. Funny thing—)

It’s now the midst of winter, and they huddle from shelter to shelter, clothes wet from snow, progress slow as they have to constantly try and cover their marks. The food is scarce, and they’re using every trick Juni taught them in late autumn to stay safe and not starve. (The thought feels bittersweet, but they don’t linger on it.)

And one day, the sun disappears. [This will be the eclipse bonus ramble, dw about it rn <3]

In the aftermath, they’re both feeling destabilised and unsafe. Grian in particular grows to feel like even more of a liability, becoming quiet and withdrawn. Terrified Scar’d leave him, despite feeling like maybe it'd be for the best if he did. (Best for Scar, that is.)

Scar does his best to divert Grian’s attention from bleak thoughts. He talks about hope, and possibilities, and—most importantly—future. He remembers that one time [in a bonus fic we never finished kjxnb bUT ONE DAY] when Grian mentioned wanting a treehouse. Wanting a permanent place. Somewhere to stretch his wings. Somewhere to be.

He tells him, softly, that come spring, once the trees are less barren, they can try building one. They will do it! Scar will build as many as it takes. Each better than the last!

And one day, they’ll get far enough. And they’ll build one that’ll last. And they’ll be able to stretch their wings, free.

Grian isn’t sure how much he believes that. But he wants to. He wants to.

They wander through the lands, seemingly directionless. The winter is harsh. The violet is bright against the whiteness of the snow and the dark brown of the bare trees. Still, with stolen cloaks, they do their best with the circumstances, never feeling warm or relaxed.

That is, until they stumble upon something rare.

They find a cave that is warm and, curious and seeking shelter, they go in. 

Inside, they find a large cavern with the ceiling caved in, sunlight pooling from the hole down onto a steaming surface of… a hot spring.

Scar gets immensely excited and, without hesitating, dives right in. The warmth is blissful, melting away all the aches and coaxing frost out of his bones. It’s the best thing he’s felt in a long time.

“I’m never getting out of here. You’re gonna have to drag me out. I am willingly turning myself into a raisin.”

Grian, unlike Scar, hesitates. His wings are still dirtied and full of debris, never preened, never touched. Kept dishevelled and dull to try to hide their desirable sheen. Flaring up with discomfort and aches, muscles tense and never stretched, in an attempt to turn them into something that’d be less of a beacon.

Getting them wet would mean washing off months of that effort. (Months of held-in suffering.)

And Grian wants to sink under the water and feel its warmth, relax into it just like Scar does, but he can’t. He can’t get through that mental block. So he just crouches on the side, sad and torn and wistful.

Scar tries to coax him in by assuring Grian they have enough time to dry them (he doesn’t use the word wings). But drying them isn’t the problem. The problem is making them bright again.

Scar doesn’t quite understand what is holding Grian back, but he tries to offer him ways to sidestep it without tacking a name to it. He holds out his hands and opts for goofiness, asking if Grian is shy, promising he’ll close his eyes, as if it was a simple act of undressing that was the problem. He’s trying to offer a simpler anxiety to latch onto, one more easily dealt with.

And despite the anxiety, Grian laughs a little at his antics. It’s barely a laugh, strained around the edges, but the fondness rings so clear through it.

But Scar’s suggestion doesn’t solve Grian’s problem, and Grian is wholly unwilling to name it and put attention to it—to the hopeless way he feels about the weight settled on his back. 

Scar is stubborn and determined, trying to read Grian without pushing too much. He wades to a more shallow part of the pool and softly—and still so very lightheartedly—points out that Grian could take a dip there, feel the warmth, “And only half of you gets turned to raisins.” Endlessly aware of what they’re not saying, words tucked between the lines: Your wings don’t have to get wet.

 Grian eyes the side Scar pointed out with enough suspicion, as if he expected the ground there to be playing a trick on him, in fact not solid at all. Slowly, he uncurls and shuffles over to peer at it, taut yet curious, unsure yet hopeful.

It’s timid, at first. The undressing, the reach for water. But as soon as his skin meets the warmth, yearning shoots through him and he can’t stop himself.

The water splashes in his rush to get in, something that delights Scar immeasurably.

And it’s quickly clear the water is only going to incite him to give in further, setting alight a craving for more. To keep sinking, to submerge all of his body, to melt against its warmth and let it make him stop aching. 

Unable to resist but still unwilling to get his wings wet, he ends up opting to slump himself over Scar’s shoulders, letting most of him dip into the enciting warmth of the water.  

The effect is instant: the warm water eases the hidden pains and tension right off, making Grian huff in relief as his hold on Scar turns lax, trusting Scar to keep him safe. It’s only Grian’s back that keeps some semblance of tension, wings held up above the water line even as the rest of him helplessly melts into it.

And Scar has to ask. Inevitably, the issue cannot be skirted around anymore. “Why don’t you want them wet…?”

Grian’s breath hitches, and just like that, all the tension and anxiety is back. Just like that, he’s pushing away, back upright into the shallow water, and then further, splashing as he goes, until he’s perched at the edge of the pool, safely out of its depths.

Arms wrapped around himself and shivering, Grian tries to breathe through the reminder of everything that’s wrong, everything that he doesn’t want fixed—can’t have fixed—attention pinned to his feathers that he reslots against his spine, dry and as small as possible. 

But there's no sidestepping this anymore.

It’s only when he admits, words miserable and broken, muffled into his palms and edging a sob, that washing the wings would turn them into more of a beacon, that Scar truly starts to understand this.

It was always only implied and never spoken—the topic of feathers always carefully avoided to sidestep the panic lurking just beneath those words—now broken and brought up to the surface for the first time since Grian's freak out on that very first day so long ago. 

It slots together in Scar’s mind now: It’s not just trauma and fear keeping Grian from allowing anyone (including himself) to touch his wings; it’s his unwillingness to brighten what he believes is to be a spotlight that’s made a home on his back. It explains weeks and weeks of unpreened, tucked back wings hidden uncomfortably under the cloak Scar gave him the day they found each other. What Scar thought was a deep-rooted anxiety born from the time they spent apart actually goes much, much deeper. The fear is a constant in Grian’s mind.

Scar pauses, taking the new pieces to the puzzle he’s been offered and pressing them into place, considering the proper approach. “Grian,” he tries again, voice soft. “One little soak isn’t going to make a difference.” (He wishes it would. He wishes Grian would wash them out properly, let them shine like they did before. He’d fight off the whole server if he had to in order to see that once more.) 

Something desperate in Grian is latching onto Scar’s words. He’s begging himself to listen, to give in, to let go, to succumb. He sniffles, dropping his hands a little bit, looking over at Scar, silent plea written into his eyes. Please. Please please please. 

He wants Scar to win him over. To convince him. To yank this tight knot of anxiety and let him breathe.

With a sigh, Scar continues. “We don’t have to wash them, just…” He hates going along with any part of this, but he’s not about to change Grian’s mind so easily. He has to bargain. “... One hour. One hour where you don’t worry so dang much. Just relax, forget everything else. Let me—” He doubts his word choice for a moment, but commits to it, considering them appropriate. “Let me watch your back.”

There’s a pause. And then, from his curled-up position, Grian asks: “One hour?” It’s small, a word just shy of crumbling to dust. He wants this. He needs this. He needs Scar to sway him here. But he can’t just give in. So he asks for more. He asks Scar to promise that this won’t cause anything bad. 

"Nothing bad," Scar assures immediately, even if he doesn't truly have the power to promise that. He'll make it true. He's determined to. "I'll make sure of it. And you just relax."

The words bounce around in Grian’s head.

Nothing bad. I’ll make sure of it.

He sniffles, wrangling the ever-present constraints of anxiety, and then, ever so slowly, he uncurls. His hands drop from his face and his glistening eyes find Scar’s, locking onto them as if Scar was his life raft. “Okay.” 

He isn’t sure he knows how to relax, not where his wings are concerned, but he’s been tense and scared for so long, he’s so tired, so greedy for the idea of it. And if Scar can somehow will it into existence, Grian will do his best to give himself over to him.

It’s slow. Every move hesitant and unsure, every Scar’s word soft and reassuring. He tells Grian it’s just the two of them here. He leads him, step by timid step.

Grian ends up draped over him again, arms wrapped around Scar's shoulders, trying to stifle his fears into his hold of him as they tentatively make progress into the warmth that begs Grian to surrender completely.

Grian’s coherency is slipping from his grasp as the warm water and the security of Scar’s presence take over. He hasn’t allowed himself to relax in so impossibly long, only ever forced by the circumstances. (Feeling faint, being wounded, dizziness pulling him to his knees—) This is different. This is so very different, and he finds himself simultaneously nuzzling against Scar and entirely letting go, his grip growing weak as Scar holds him with his back above water.

Grian’s wings falter and droop the littlest bit. He barely notices it. They’re hovering so, so very close above the waterline.

He hums, and they dip further, and—

He twitches, startled at the sensation of water against his feathers. Running on nothing but well-trained instinct, his wings flap, frantically splashing water.

Scar pulls Grian a little closer, keeping his hands firm and tight so he doesn’t drop him altogether. “Hey, hey, hey it’s okay. I’ve still got you.” He slides one leg out a little wider to maintain balance, continuing to mumble soft shushes. “The water won’t hurt ya, G.”

Grian pulls himself tight against Scar, his wing movements calming somewhat at Scar’s reassurance. They’re left treacherously hovering over the water again, unsure, as Grian buries his face in Scar’s neck, eyes tightly shut. He’s tense again, back at square one, and even the warmth of the water isn’t working enough to lull him out of it.

But Scar says the water won’t hurt him.

He knows that, right? He’s— The water won’t hurt him, it’s just the consequences he’s meant to be afraid of. But Scar already promised those will be okay.

Grian knows Scar doesn’t have the power to promise that.

Still, he tries to wrangle both the rational and irrational parts of his fear.

He breathes heavily, pressed close to Scar, and he whimpers a quiet, very unbrave sounding word: “Down?”

“Yeah?” Scar asks, a little unsure. “Do you— want me to let you down?” He doesn’t move his hands yet.

Feeling the steadiness of Scar's hands, Grian is sure that there won't be anything unexpected; not unless he agrees, nods, gives consent. But his head is so messy, not knowing how to communicate, and he's not sure he won't misstep.

"The wings?" Grian asks, and it's not much more coherent than the original question.

“The—“ Scar tuts his tongue, remembering to take the time to think. He glances over at Grian’s wings, something he very purposely tries not to do typically, but with Grian’s head tucked against his collarbone, he looks them over, curious. “Yeah, yes— you can let them down, G.” A small reassuring press of his fingertips. “Really.”

Grian takes a breath at the encouragement; it's damp and hot, water and scar's skin heating him up, both working on stealing all the tension out of him.

Gingerly and with a tinge of fearfullness, grian relents.

He lets his wings drop.

Tentatively, the feathers meet water. Calmer, this time. Expecting it. 

Grian’s hold on Scar doesn't exactly tense up, but his fingers curl, feebly looking for a tidbit of purchase, something to hold onto as his wings spread and sprawl, rippling the water, floating atop it, and— And it's so warm and it feels so good to stretch them, to let them be without force and without pressure and—

There's a half-sob, something small and all too relaxed and relieved, as looseness floods through Grian. His fingers uncurl and he sags further against Scar, whimpering quietly without any real distress. 

Scar can’t help the bright, genuine grin that spreads across his face at this success, even despite the small sobbing sounds—because he knows, he knows it’s from overwhelming relief. He had half a mind to cry when he first stepped foot in the water, so he can only imagine how Grian feels right now. “Shhh, good, good,” Scar coos, pressing a soft kiss into Grian’s hair. “Still got you.”

Grian makes a jumble of incoherent sounds at Scar's praise, melting further into the warmth. His eyes are closed and his muscles loosen bit by bit, aches stolen from them. He's not working to support any of his weight anymore, surrendering it all to Scar and to the water. He doesn't even register his wings fully; they float, and it makes them feel numb and nonexistent in the best of ways. 

Loose feathers and dirt drift across the surface, the spot near Grian growing murkier.

“Nice, isn’t it?” Scar whispers, not wanting to disturb Grian’s moment of bliss here. He eyes the spot where the water darkens from the dirt and debris coming free from Grian’s wings, trying not to let it affect his mood, tug at his heart. 

He wishes he could rake his fingers through the feathers and dislodge all the uncomfortable things that poke and prod at Grian on a daily basis. We wants to hold him closer and take care of him, wash all the troubles away, but—

Baby steps, he reminds himself. 

Grian's mind is hazy, all of him melting into the warmth bit by bit. (He doesn't remember the last time he was warm.) He feels engulfed and cradled, held and supported, and it makes him want to drift off. He's melting further into it, eyes closed and mind pleasantly dazed. He thinks he might just stay here forever. (The insides of his wings are warm warm warm; the water gently bobs them, the muscles loosening after months of being stiff and taut.)

It reminds Grian of what it feels like to be comfortable. (He isn't sure he can quite grasp it; the feeling seems too big for his comprehension.) He lets out a long, reverberating hum, almost purr-like, sinking further into the water. His eyes are still closed. He's secure in the knowledge that Scar's still here, he's got him. everything is okay.

Everything is more than okay.

"'m gonna live like a raisin," he says as a vague threat, or a promise, or— or something. Something mildly delirious. He's never getting out of this lake. It's too nice. He's going to stay here and submerge himself in bliss and escapism.

“Yes!” Scar croaks out amidst some airy laughter. “Join me in the raisin life, Grian!” 

Scar's laughter echoes around Grian, setting bright, joyful sparks behind grian's ribcage. He could listen to that sound forever.

While keeping his arms in place, supporting Grian so that he doesn’t sink entirely, Scar ducks his face back underwater and blows some bubbles, loving the feeling of having semi-clean skin for the first time in far too long.

Grian hears the bubbles. Curiosity gets him to crack one eye open, only to see it's just Scar being silly. Unbridled, a laughter spills from him and— He's laughed before, sure. Here and there, they’ve had their moments. But never before has his laughter felt so light in this world. Unburdened.

Scar’s ears flick attentively and he pokes his head back out to share a grin— practically beaming at Grian due to the delightful sound. It’s a genuine Grian giggle and Scar is loving it. It rings like victory, dancing across the air. Scar feels like he’s won a tiny battle. (And it’s a much-needed win at that.) 

“Seriously,” Scar says, smile still pressing at the edges of his cheeks. “Dunk your head in— it feels amazing.”

The idea doesn't seem as daunting as before. Encouraged by Scar's delighted grin, Grian can't help but wish to oblige.

His wings flutter a little, and then he's tilting himself, taking a breath. No more warning is given before he fully submerges his head.

The water rushes around him, muffling the world instantly. It's warm all around him.

Just like Scar before, Grian also brings his arms to rub at his hair, reveling in the feeling until he needs to come up for air. He pushes his now-wet hair out of his face and blinks, before he settles with twinkling eyes set on scar, a wild grin on his lips. "I did it!" And he finds that he wants to do it again.

“Isn’t our hair disgusting?” Scar says, laughing and smiling like that’s somehow a good thing. 

"It’s sooo gross," Grian agrees with a laugh. He drifts closer, reaching out to run his fingers into Scar's wet hair and rub at his scalp, wanting him to feel nice.

Scar makes an approving, happy hum and leans into the touch. “And you’d touch the gross hair? Wow, you must like me or something. How embarrassing,” Scar croons, grinning with all his teeth as he pesters Grian.

A growling noise rolls out of grian, but it sounds wrong, soft and unthreatening. He grins right back, and he moves closer, gaze flicking to Scar's lips. "Yeah. I guess I do like you. Or something." And then he presses on Scar, pouncing to use his own weight to push Scar under water. "But you should really wash them some more," he notes playfully with a laugh.

Scar barks out a half-yelp half-laugh as he’s submerged, bubbles rising to the surface until the noise escapes the watery prison when he comes back up. ”Wow,” Scar grumbles, absolutely no bite to his bark. “And here I was being so nice.”

Completely unphased by Scar's grumble, Grian cackles. And then he leans forward, hands settling on the sides of Scar's jaw as both of them drip water. 

Grian's eyes close and he kisses Scar.

“Oh,” Scar’s mouth barely forms the words before he’s pressing closer, greedily kissing back. There’s a bit of whiplash from going from being dunked under to being kissed, but it’s a pleasant sort of ride, the kind of dizzying back and forth he would have always expected from Grian. Part of the reason he was always so drawn in.

Bouncing lightly in the water, Grian breaks the kiss only to press a laugh against the corner of Scar's mouth. He's holding onto him, fingers finding their way back into Scar's wet hair. His feathers trail ripples behind him. "Do you want to help me wash my hair?" he ends up asking, sounding so very hopeful and impulsive, eyes alight as he peers up to meet Scar's gaze.

“Yes!” Scar exclaims, instant. Because he really does want to. 

Grian's expression brightens and softens simultaneously at Scar's quick agreement. Eager excitement settles abuzz under his skin, oddly fitting alongside the newfound looseness of his muscles. 

Scar removes one of his supporting hands first, testing if Grian isn’t still melting into the water too much to handle it without them.

Grian shifts to readjust, to carry his own weight and stay floating. He gives Scar a small nod. "Floating raisin-in-training," he reassures, wildness tipping into an almost timid grin.

Scar snickers, highly amused by the continued bit. "I'm very impressed with the raisin's progress," he teases as he removes his other hand, allowing Grian to wade freely. "I wish we had soap. I still don't understand how to make soap." It's a mournful statement, but Scar manages to keep his tone light, as if it's a joke and not a genuine problem. He opens both palms and wiggles his fingers in a goofy invitation, letting Grian lead the way on how he wants to do this.

Grian doesn't, in fact, know how to do this. He just knows he wants Scar's fingers rub at his scalp and brush through his hair and he wants it all to be nice and good. (He wonders if his hair will be fluffy when it dries. Fluffy hair and somewhat clean skin. A luxury.) (He wonders how will Scar look at him, then.) "Should I... turn my back to you?" he wonders.

But turning his back carries many things with it. (Namely his wings.)

Scar’s eyes flick to the sprawled out feathers—a lightning-fast glance, trying not to be noticed—before he hums in thought. He doesn’t want Grian to have to reel his wings back in. He likes that Grian is finally relaxing them like this, having them splayed out without care. 

So instead, he tries to say that this is good. That he likes facing Grian and looking at him. He steals a kiss, quick and gentle, drawing Grian’s attention away from any implications turning around might have.

Grian lets Scar's affection easily distract him; for once, he's not hyper-aware and hyper-vigilant about his wings, and so the warning thought dissipates before it even has a chance to form properly, everything in him instead paying attention to Scar's adoration and the promise of getting his hair washed. He giggles quietly into the kiss at Scar's exclamations. "Alright. All yours." 

Scar’s heart swells at all yours, the words satisfying something small yet primal deep inside his chest. 

But as it turns out, Grian floating in the water on his belly really isn’t a position suitable for hair washing. They fumble, Scar trying to throw out some pointless, dead-end suggestions, staying lighthearted even as it’s becoming clear that there’s no way around this.

Grian hums, glancing at his wings—the top feathers are still dry, as his wings float the inner-side down. The seeping warmth from the water keeps them relaxed and feeling good, and Grian doesn't even realise he's considering them without the usually instant flare up of anxiety.

"Let me try something," he murmurs, an edge of experimental pensiveness to his tone. He pushes himself away from Scar, using him solely for momentum, so he wouldn't have to wade to get more space. He spins, water rippling, feathers gliding across it.

He doesn't make enough space. His primaries almost brush against Scar.

Scar flinches back to avoid the wings, shocked by the casual nature in which Grian is currently treating them. He’s relieved, certainly, but slightly nervous as well. “You better not be trying to escape, you have a good fifty-some minutes of relaxation left, mister.”

Grian glances over his shoulder, chuckling at him, but doesn't deign to answer. He's climbing to the shallower part again; his wings are heavy, dragging him down as he fights them and flaps them around, sending droplets through the air. He curls them, bringing them forward, and with a squinted focus, slowly lowers them back down.

The water turns murky again in an instant, as the backs of grian's wings hit water. He almost slips off the perch of the platform as a wave of weakness rushes through him at how good the warm water feels on those spots. His eyes flutter shut without him intending for it, and a groan leaves his throat.

And then he's slipping off the edge back into the depths, this time purposefully. his wings are spread around him, messy and wet and wide, and—

He semi-floats on his back, his hair now dipped in water. It feels so insanely relaxing—a word he was forgetting even exists; he lets out a dazed hum, eyes still closed, temporarily forgetting his mission is to get back to scar.

Scar chuckles quietly to himself, trying to shield the sound with the back of his hand. He’s able to ignore the distress the muddied water caused him last time, too enthralled by the wide span of Grian’s wings, which he hasn’t seen in so long. 

 Even dirtied and drenched in water, they’re beautiful.

“Should I leave you alone with the water for a bit—?” Scar teases after another moment of admiring Grian. “Would hate to interrupt.” 

Despite saying that, his hands itch to touch. They twitch and he hides them underwater, remaining patient.

"Mmmm." Grian lets the water gently push him around, and he keeps his eyes closed for a while, staying silent after Scar's question. But then he remembers: he's going to get his hair washed. Scar's fingers are going to press and rub against his scalp and—

"Please do interrupt," he begs, dark eyes dazedly finding Scar.

“If you insist,” Scar says like he’s not equally as antsy. He approaches with caution, careful to wade between any scattered feathers, then wiggles his fingers on either side of Grian’s head. “Any requests? Gentle? Deep tissue massage? Kisses or no kisses?” He hovers over Grian’s head as he asks, grinning.

Grian peers up at Scar, upside-down, and even though he appreciates Scar’s silliness and him offering choices, decision-making feels a bit overwhelming right now. 

And yet as soon as he catches sight of Scar, he can’t help but tilt his head more, desiring more closeness. His hair submerges, obliging towards the task at hand, but there’s far more than that in the simple gesture: Grian’s throat is bare (so is the rest of him, to be fair) (exposed wings included), and there’s something eager about the way his lips fall slightly apart. “Kisses. Definitely kisses.”

Without hesitation, Scar leans down, smiling. “Oh excellent, that was my recommendation anyway!” He plants a kiss on Grian’s forehead to start, just a taste of what he’s offering, then threads his fingers into Grian’s flowing hair underwater, keeping his touch tentative for the time being.

Grian hums, both at the kiss and at the touch, a sound that reverbs in his throat. His wings spread a little more. He’s feeling pleasant and pleased, edging that state of melting into everything.

Scar starts by running his fingers through Grian’s hair, mapping out the territory and smoothing out his locks to make it easier for the proper cleaning. 

Helpless to stop it, Grian finds his eyes falling shut again. Everything's so pleasant and lulling, he can almost imagine falling asleep here. (He's certainly tired enough for it, the dark bruising under his eyes speaking volumes about that.) He wants Scar to keep touching him, to keep brushing his fingers through his hair, to— to be here, in this, with him.

“Good?” Scar checks even though he knows the answer, his fingers still gentle; he wants to hear Grian say it, confirm that this is happening, that this moment is real amidst this server of hostility and cruelty.

“Good,” Grian purrs mindlessly.

Scar slowly adds more pressure, lightly scratching at Grian's scalp for maximum effect, trying to provide as much relief as he can. 

Grian lets out little noises—sleep-laced, groggy little things—as he melts against every Scar's touch. He wants to tell him how really, really good it feels, but he can't find coherent enough words, nor make his vocal cords work. He just floats, in more ways than one. "'m sleep," he murmurs, as a warning. 

He wants to look up at Scar, but his eyelids are heavy, his body gently bobbing in water that keeps him warm and relaxed. Scar continues effortlessly lacing his fingers through curls and working small bundles of hair through his fingertips to loosen any pesky dirt that's made home there, finding almost as much pleasure in this little routine as Grian does.

"Gosh, making it my job to keep you from drowning?" Scar scolds lightheartedly with absolutely no disdain. Truthfully, the wings might be working as enough of a feather floatie for Grian anyway, but Scar doesn't mind making up for where they slack. 

"Mmmmhm," Grian confirms. His muscles are so lax. He forgot this was even possible. He hasn't felt pleasantly sleepy in so long—so many horrible dreams and endless fears and never-ending tension. This hot spring is tempting him to succumb to everything it offers, and Scar's hands are breaking the last of his resistance. "Won't let me..." he trails off, meaning to say won't let me drown. The sentense stays broken, sinking out of Grian's reach. "Trust," he murmurs, barely audible, word slurred with sleep.

Scar's about to ask who won't let him sleep, but understands that's not what's being said after he continues listening. He smiles. "Of course not," he confirms, lightly scratching behind Grian's earwings, a spot he himself took great relief from.

The scratch behind Grian's earwings sends something in him skittering and haywire in the best of ways. He chirps through the haze of sleep, unable to catch himself. His earwings flutter against the water, sending a small spray of droplets around them, but they settle back down quickly enough, limp like the rest of him. A drawn-out coo is coaxed from Grian's throat as he blindly tilts his head further into it, chasing the pleasant touch. 

There's no tension to Grian’s expression, no fear marring the space between his brows.

It feels like a dream, if this world ever knew such a thing as good dreams.

Scar chews at his lip, swallowing down all the comments we wants to make about how adorable Grian is all relaxed and bird-brained. He's not so sure Grian is sleepy enough to resist groaning and quipping back at that, so he resists, wanting him to continue drifting. 

He directs his fingertips over Grian's temple and to the top of his forehead, grazing his nails over the skin as gently as he can and massaging into the base of his hair. And he lingers. Keeps rubbing circles and tracing across Grian's hairline, taking his fine time as if he intended to clean each individual strand.

The way Scar is touching him would make Grian go positively insane if it wouldn't turn him into an incoherent puddle first. He hums, quiet, the sound barely there, edging dreamy delirium under Scar's attentive guidance. 

He really does feel himself drifting, sleep latching on and consciousness waning. The combination of stacked-up tiredness and the wholly complete relaxation are taking him over and, before he even fully realises what's happening, he's completely limp, breath evening out. 

He dips a little in the water, but stays mostly afloat anyway. Scar preemptively lifts one knee to catch Grian if his body starts to dip too far underwater, but he seems steady enough for the time being. 

Content with his successful attempt to get Grian to relax, Scar goes for softer motions, just enough to keep the flow of pleasant sensations going without doing anything that could wake his sleeping bird. 

After a minute or so, Scar sneaks a proper glance at Grian’s splayed out wings, how they fill the water around them with dirt and smaller pieces of debris. He has to resist plucking a twig from a close-by cluster of feathers, praying the water will do it for him. He settles for what he can do for now, not willing to abuse the trust Grian is offering him here by pushing his luck.

He hums a soothing, soft melody as he works, filling the space as he gets Grian’s hair clean, hoping to keep the avian’s sleep relaxed and nice. Without nightmares, for once. Warm and safe and spoiled. 

Such strange concept for this world.

And yet even those things can exist here.

Scar watches his sleeping bird and he thinks that maybe there’s hope for them still after all.

[chosotallgf]

DOUBLE IDENTITY #1 - TOJI FUSHIGURO

next chapter 🔜

SYNOPSIS | y/n is a third year college student who is about to intern for the top business company in Japan in a week, what happens when she unknowingly cross paths with her future boss not knowing he’s hiding a secret.

WARNING | mafiaboss toji x fém!reader, geto x fém!reader, alcohol, moderate au, sexual activity, criminal activity & behavior, naoya is his own warning, angst & fluff (not really lol) not proof read

p.s my work is only on A03 & tumblr!

it was finally the weekend which means you and your girls can turn up in club after your lectures. I mean what is a Friday night if you are not clubbing in your 20s? you have 1 year left before you graduate from university & is interning at one of the top businesses in japan in a week.

you been waiting for this opportunity since you hear a new ceo was appointed not so long ago, you also hear gossip that he always looks detached / laidback but he’s also very wealthy so it’s fine right? what could possibly go wrong?

Rushing up your apartment stairs to get ready & nearly falling to get to your closet. you promised your two best friends shoko & utahime to be dress by midnight and it was well past 10pm. destroying your closet wasn’t enough you needed to find the perfect outfit for tonight, it didn’t help that you also had to take a bath & do your makeup which all together was about an hour.

as you were searching you spot your off the shoulder tight mesh top that push up your boobs up good. “yeah this top will do for now” you thought as you pair it with a black mini skirt.

Half way getting ready, you hear a loud ass banging nose against your door “y/n you better hurry tf up I wanna make sure we get a good section at the club” utahime shouts. “hold on give me a min” you huff out as you struggle to get your last pair of heels on.

Finally all done you walk downstairs to find them snooping thru your fridge “if your hungry their barely anything in there, I haven’t gone shopping yet” “I can tell I only see this half ate pie left” shoko says as she grabs a fork. “So who the lucky guy that’s been taking you out to dinner Mhm?” Utahime grins says crossing her arms.

“No one” I roll my eyes. “I been so busy & tried that all I been eating is takeout, between classes and getting ready for this new internship it’s hell” my face clearly showing that I’m stressed, utahime pulls me into a hug saying “don’t put too much pressure on your self you need to relax you already got the intern whats more to worry about?” Puffing out “I don’t know what if I somehow mess this up? I been pulling so much into my classes to get good grades but it will be all for nothing if I can’t even get working for a company correctly”

“see their you go again worry about the future, just have fun in the moment, right shoko?” she gesture towards me at Vivi to get her to agree. I mean she’s right but I saw so many reviews online about how the company is strict and isn’t afraid to disposition anyone. “utahime right, plus we are suppose to clubbing right having fun and this isn’t let’s goo” shoko wraps her arms around me and utahime shoulders as she pulls us to the door with kisses on our cheek. if only y/n knew this was the first step leading down a dangerous road….

author note: I already wrote like half of the beginning of this fic so give me time to post chapter 2 soon :)

also lmk if you wanna be tagged when 2nd chapter is posted! remember to like and reblog

update chapter 2 is posted

[crazyunsexycool]

Hey Val!

It’s a good thing you mentioned we can send as many asks as we want because God knows we Geminis are terrible at making up our minds🥹

Sooo, for my first Birthday Celebration ask. You already know I’m a real sucker for hurt/comfort, and I know this prompt wasn’t in your list, but could you cook something up for our Stevie? Remember that amaaaaaazing fic you wrote about the 40s!Reader being kidnapped by Hydra and found 70 years later by Bucky?

Well, let’s say Stevie and her have settled down but he’s scared to lose her again. Maybe he’s having a nightmare or maybe she’s taken hostage/hurt because the enemy knows her worth in Steve’s eyes.

Can you write it pleaseeee?

(And yes, I told you I wanted a part two to this one shot, and I’m trying hard to get it🫢🩵)

It only took me a year to write it...

Read part 1 here

Love in times of war

Part 2

Pairing: Steve Rogers x 40s!Reader

word count: 13.6k

Warnings: Nightmares, implied smut, so much angst, attempted kidnapping, kidnapping, mentioned isolation as punishment, reader gets slapped a few times, pregnancy, mentioned childbirth, fluff

A/N: As I said before it took me a year to write this. Mostly due to writer's block. I'm still not convinced it's as good as part 1 🥺 but I did my best. It's kind of age of ultron-ish (no ultron though) and also we have Bucky!! Anyways I hope you like it!!!!!

Steve walked away from the small dispute between drunken soldiers and headed toward the hotel. A lone car sped off not too far away but he couldn’t be bothered to worry about it. He was anxious to be with you again. The upcoming missions were going to be hard on everyone so he wanted a bit of peace and happiness in his life with his best girl. 

Steve took the stairs two at a time, he wanted to have you back in his arms as fast as possible. He kept the same pace as he walked down the hallway but his stomach dropped as soon as he saw your door. It was wide open and there was no sign of you anywhere. Steve rushed in and checked everywhere but the room was in perfect order. As he rushed out something on the floor got his attention. The light hit the metal object just right and he realized it was the locket he had given you a few hours before. He picked it up and saw that the clasp was broken and he ran. 

Outside under the light of the winter moon Bucky was escorting the commandos back toward the hotel. As they neared the entrance Steve barged out. Bucky knew something was wrong immediately.

“Steve what is it?” 

“Y/N’s gone. Someone took her.” He rushed out.

That was enough to get the Howlies’ attention.

“How do you know she’s gone?” 

“Her door was wide open and the room was un disturbed and this.” He showed them the locket and the broken clasp. “She wouldn’t have taken it off willingly.”

“Ok we have to move now. Did you see anything suspicious as you came in?” 

“No nothing-“ Steve shook his head before he turned as he remembered the car that had sped away. “No no no no no.” He started running in that direction with Bucky following suit. 

“Y/N!” Steve yelled at the top of his lungs. “Y/N, please. Please… don’t… leave me.”

“Steve.” He turned at the sound of your voice. He could hear you but not see you.

“Steve?”

“Y/N? Where are you?”

“Steve…”

“Steve, honey, you’ve gotta wake up.” You gently touched Steve’s cheek as you tried to wake him. He kept yelling your name while moving around frantically in bed. His neck and chest were red as he strained to fight some invisible enemy. “Honey, wake up. It’s just a nightmare I’m right here.” 

Steve sat up abruptly starling you. His breathing was erratic and his eyes were wild and unfocused. You called his name softly, your touch gentle on his thigh. 

“Y/N?” He sounded so scared that you weren’t there. 

“I’m right here.”

Steve pulled you into his lap and hid his face into the crook of your neck while you played with his hair. 

“It felt so real. Like it happened all over again.” His breath was shallow again as his anxiety went into overdrive. “I can’t lose you again. I can’t.” 

“Breathe for me honey. Just focus on your breathing. You aren’t going to lose me again.”

“You can’t say things like that. You know anything could happen.”

“And you’d go to the ends of the earth to find me wouldn’t you?” You ask as you pull away to search his eyes.

“Of course I would.” 

You smile at him and then give him a quick kiss. “Then there is nothing to worry about.” 

Steve doesn’t reply, he just kisses you again and again until he’s laid you down on the bed. 

“Wait, my dress.” You say when he pulls on the strap ripping it.

“I’ll get you a new one.” 

You giggle as Steve moves from your neck down to your chest while popping the buttons on the front of your dress. 

“I love you so much.” 

“I love you too, Steve.”

~~~~~~~~~

“How have you been adjusting?” Bruce asked while the elevator ascended to a higher level. 

“There’s so much I still need to learn. But there are things I like. There’s so much more freedom now for women to be in the science field.” 

“I think you had a hand in paving the way for people that would have otherwise been overlooked for one thing or the other.” 

“Oh please.” You scoffed as you stepped out of the elevator. 

“You need to give yourself more credit. I mean you’re here to give a talk about your experience.” 

“My contribution wouldn’t have been as meaningful if I hadn’t disappeared and been dating Steve. I know what I have done and what I can do, I just wish my work would have been recognized because of me, not who I was dating back then.”

As you turn the corner from the elevator banks you come face to face with a large group of people, mostly women waiting for the doors to open. Your presence caught the eye of one of the attendees who immediately started cheering for you. Before you knew it the room was full of thunderous applause. Bruce had to help you navigate the sea of people wanting an autograph or to shake your hand. 

“See what I mean?” He said once you were escorted to a separate room. 

“I am so much more nervous now.”

“Don’t be you’ll be fine and I’ll be in the first row.”

“I wish Steve would have been able to be here.” You murmur as you fix your dress again. 

“I know he would too, but the talk is being transmitted live so I know he’ll be watching.”

****

Your speech had gone great. There was even a question and answer segment and you got every question imaginable. From working with Erskine to what it was like dating Steve. 

Somewhere towards the end of the questions something went wrong. Armed men rushed in, Bruce hulked out and chaos ensued. You thought you heard someone calling out for you but then you feel something hit the back of your head. Your vision blurred and your knees gave out. Pain spread through your head, in the quick few seconds after being hit you blackout.

~~~~~~~

“I knew it was a bad idea to let her go out so soon.” Steve’s voice reached you but it was so hard to open your eyes.

“Too soon? Steve, she's been here for two months. You can’t keep her locked up.”

That was Bucky. They were having a whispered argument. 

“It’s not about keeping her locked up. It’s about keeping her safe. She’s still the only person that knows the formula for the serum. Every agency and country in the world is going to come after her.” 

“Steve?” You asked. Everything was blurry, all you could make out was shapes moving around and that caused you to panic. “Steve?” 

“I’m right here. It’s ok.”

“I can’t see.”

“I know, it’s a side effect from the smoke grenades and the hit you took but it will clear up.” He reassured you while taking your hand. You breathed a sigh of relief at having him close.

“What happened?”

“Hydra. They made their way in to try and take you. Again.” 

“Was anyone hurt?”

“A few bumps and bruises. I think you got the worst of it.” He says as you feel his free hand cup your cheek.

“I thought I heard someone call my name right before I blacked out.”

“That was me. I wanted to surprise you, didn’t want to show up with you and take the attention away. You deserve the recognition. Bucky was with me too.” 

“Sorry your moment was ruined, darling.” Bucky murmurs. 

“I’m just sorry others got hurt because of me.” 

“They’ll be alright, just like you will. Why don’t you rest ok?” 

You just nod and turn your head toward the wall and away from him. Soon enough you fall asleep again. 

~~~~~~~~~

The first few days were difficult. The attack had been hard on you and you were told you needed to stay in bed rest for the next few days. That didn’t work for you and you had to sneak out of your shared apartment with Steve. It wasn’t easy because he rarely left your side but he had no choice on this specific morning. You took the opportunity and went down to Bruce’s lab.

****

“So this cable goes here, like this.”

“That’s correct.” Bruce looks over your work. “If you press this button you’ll be able to view the sample on the monitor.”

“That is so much easier on the eyes.” 

Bruce smiles which is something he rarely does. But it’s gone quickly and he’s moving on to teaching you the next thing. You take notes and it feels like being with Erskine again. The wave of emotion crashing down on you unexpectedly.

“Are you ok?” Bruce places a hand gently on your shoulder. 

“Yes, sorry. It’s just, this reminded me so much of being with Erskine. It feels weird, you know. To me everything that I lived through in the war happened like two months ago but really it’s been decades. I guess I just never really gave myself a chance to mourn and then I’ll do something that reminds me of my past. The Howlies, Erskine, Howard.” You sniffle. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t be dumping this on you.” 

“No, it’s ok. I’d like to think that we’re friends.” 

“We are.” You clear your throat and focus on the task at hand.  “Now you said that I can record what I’m looking at right?”

“Yeah, I’ll show you how.”

****

“Ready for your lesson?” Nat didn’t even look up from her spot on the sparring mat. 

“I am if you are.” 

“Always am.” She finally looks up at you, taking in your work out clothes. “Did you tell him yet?” 

“Tell Steve that I’m taking self defense? No. He’d probably freak out and lock me in our apartment.” 

“He’s just worried.” 

You nod as you walk toward the center of the mat where she was. “I know but I feel as if he’s keeping me prisoner. No matter what I say he always has an excuse as to why I can’t do something. As if I wasn’t there with him during the war. I need to be able to protect myself.” 

Nat gave you a sympathetic look.

“How do I get things back to what they used to be?” 

“Steve struggled with that too. Truth is that nothing will ever be how it was. You both have changed and so has the world around you. You’re different people now, there’s no use in trying to be what you were.” 

You realize that what Nat was saying is true. The only thing that hadn’t changed was how much you loved Steve. Your relationship with Steve felt so fragile at the moment. Mostly because when you met and started the relationship everything was happening so quickly. There was no time to second guess feelings when going on a mission could mean never seeing each other again. This was new territory for the two of you. 

Everything else had changed and you would have to accept that sooner rather than later.

 With a sigh and encouragement from Nat you took up your defensive stance and focused on sparring. You had only been sparring for a few minutes when you were startled by Steve.

“What the hell are you doing?” He stared at both you and Nat with a mixture of horror, concern and anger. 

You gave Nat a bit of a frown. 

“You should be on bedrest.” He reiterated the instructions just as he had a few times during the last few days.

“I’m fine.”

“So you’re just going against doctor’s orders?” 

“I’m a nurse, I think I know when I can push myself.” You and Steve just stare at each other. He clenched his jaw and you crossed your arms over your chest. 

Nat stood there, her gaze bouncing from you to Steve and back. She’d been in many different situations ranging from life threatening to ridiculous but this was the worst one. You both were her friends and she didn’t like seeing you fight but she also knew she couldn’t get in the middle of it. Slowly Nat moved away from the mats and left the two of you to work it out.

“Who’s idea was it?” Steve finally broke the tense silence. 

“Mine.” You replied. 

“Why didn’t you ask me for some training?”

“Because you would have said no.” 

“That’s not true.” Steve defends himself.

“Really? Fine. Steve, would you be willing to give me some self defense lessons so that the next time hydra tries to kidnap me I can fight back?” 

“They aren’t going to take you again, I won’t let them.” 

You sigh and your arms drop to your sides. Finally you look away from him as you think about what to say next. 

“We don’t know what they have planned but I know they’ll try. I’d rather know how to fight than be defenseless. If you won’t give me some lessons I will find someone that will do it.” You finally say before walking away. 

Steve could only watch you leave. That was his biggest fear, the not knowing. It made him feel like he was just that small kid from Brooklyn stepping up to fight the neighborhood bully. Except this time he wouldn’t walk away having lost a fight, there was a chance he’d lose you again and he couldn’t take that chance. If Steve lost you again there would be no coming back for him. He knew this, this fear kept him up at night. Partly due to him thinking of all the ways he could keep you safe and the other was to keep an eye on the bedroom door. 

Without much else to do Steve followed you back up to your shared apartment. He didn’t want to have this conversation. He didn’t want to show you how vulnerable he truly was but if that’s what he had to do to make you understand then he would do it. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Up in the apartment Steve found you in the kitchen finishing off a glass of water. He stood on the other side of the island and watched you for a minute. You looked over your shoulder and put the glass down before turning around completely and giving Steve your attention.

“I need to learn to defend myself.” 

“You need to rest and get better.” Steve counters. 

“I am better.” 

“You’re not cleared by a doctor, you could really hurt yourself or make an injury worse.” 

“I’m a nurse, I think I can handle myself.” You huff. 

“Things are different now. There are a lot of things that you didn’t know about back then.” Steve argues. “Medical issues that could sneak up on you if you don’t follow doctor’s orders.”

“So what? When we were in the middle of the war we didn’t have time to rest for weeks at a time. Besides, you can’t keep me locked away in this compound forever. What’s the worst that could happen if I have to leave this place?” 

“I could lose you!” Steve bellows. “I won’t lose you again. I can’t- I can’t live without you.” His voice cracks. “I won’t do it again.” There are unshed tears in his eyes and that softens your stance on the issue a little. 

You walked around the kitchen island and hugged him. Steve held you close as he fought back his tears. 

“I failed you back then and I’ll regret it every single day of my life.”

“It wasn’t your fault. I knew what I signed up for when I worked with Erskine. I knew the risks when I agreed to work with Howard.” You pull back to look at him. “Honey, I know you want to keep me safe but at some point we’ll have to be apart. I don’t want to be defenseless again. I was scared back then. Please understand why I need to do this. I trust that you would do everything you could to find me but what about if they actually get me? What do I do while I wait for you to find me? It scares the hell out of me to think about that.”

Steve took a deep breath in order to calm himself. He had never looked at it that way. 

“You must’ve been terrified.” He whispered before pulling back into his chest where he felt you nod your head. 

“It was horrible. Every second of it. Please don’t leave me defenseless.” 

“Ok, I’ll get you trained on a little bit of everything.” Steve kisses the top of your head. “But only after you’ve got the ok from the doctors.” 

“Fine.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a few months since your attempted kidnapping. While the Avengers were still on high alert for any signs that hydra might want to kidnap you again, things were going back to normal. Steve had created a training schedule for you and now you atleast felt confident in protecting yourself. Your relationship was also really starting to grow. During the war it was about survival and stolen moments. Now you’re free to really enjoy each other’s company and get to know each other better. 

In this time you’ve learned that you loved the little things Steve did for you just as much as the grand romantic gestures. You also learned that Steve loved it when you played with his hair and just kept your hands on him in general. But it was dancing in the living room at odd hours that you both enjoyed most. Especially when he would come back from a mission and even though he told you not to, you’d be waiting for him. It didn’t matter the hour. You needed to know he wasn’t hurt and even when he didn’t say it, you knew Steve needed to see you as soon as possible. After a difficult mission when his anxiety wouldn’t let him sleep you’d sit on the couch with his head on your lap, running your fingers through his hair until the tension melted from his shoulders. When that didn’t work you’d put music on and drag him to slow dance with you. Steve just needed to be held and you were more than happy to do that. 

****

“The blue shirt makes your eyes pop more. You know how much I love that.” You tell Steve while he holds out two shirts. Tony was throwing the first party at the compound in a while. “But wear whatever you feel more comfortable in.” 

“I’d be more comfortable if we didn’t go. We could always stay in bed, naked. Like we were earlier.” Steve stands behind you, his arms around your waist and chin in your shoulder.

“Stevie, honey, I know how you feel about the whole hydra thing. But we can’t stay stuck in this apartment forever. I’m already going stir crazy because I can’t leave the building.” You had stopped applying the finishing touches on your makeup and turned to give him your full attention. “How about we stay for an hour and come back?” 

The hopeful look in your eyes lessened Steve’s worries about the party. Yes he was worried about the threat hydra was but you were in the compound surrounded by agents and Avengers. There was no place safer. 

****

A couple of songs in and neither of you get tired of dancing. Steve still gets a bit overwhelmed with current music but you found out that you like having your back pressed against his chest as you sway your hips. There have been a few times when he has to hold your hips still and he whispers in your ear the rather naughty things he’s going to do to you. 

“I’ll be right back.” You tell Steve once you find Bucky at the Bar. Steve had just taken a seat but stood up again.

“Where are you going?”

“The ladies room. I’ll be back.” You kiss his cheek and head out toward the hallway. 

****

It all happened so fast. Inhumanly fast. One minute you were walking out of the ladies room and the next you were whirling through the compound. The only thing you managed to do was scream for dear life and watch as the emergency protocol activated. Unfortunately you were out the doors before the building shut down so now you found yourself tied up in a van with a team of armed men and a guy with silver hair. You can’t help the tears that immediately started flowing. 

“Please, not again.” You murmur, your eyes connecting with the silver haired man. 

“Shut up.” Someone else says and knocks you unconscious.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve couldn’t breathe when Friday announced that the emergency protocol had been activated. No one was allowed to move from where they were and all he wanted was to make sure you were ok. It took too long for his liking and Steve took off. He searched the bathroom closest to where the party was being held first. You weren’t there. Steve checked every single room he could until Tony called him into a meeting room. Everyone was waiting for him, serious expressions on their faces. The only person that wasn’t there was you. It only confirmed his worst fears. It was his worst nightmare come true. 

“Steve.” Tony said cautiously. 

“Who took her and what are we doing to find her?” 

“It was most likely Hydra. Although we don’t know who exactly.” Tony plays the security tapes in slow motion which show you leaving the bathroom when a blur passes in a flash and then you are gone. He’d followed the blur but you weren’t seen in the building again. 

“They’re enhanced, great.” Bucky shakes his head.

“I don’t care who it is and what abilities they have, find them so that I can end them and bring my girl home.” Steve grits out. Bucky stands and places a hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“We’ll find her.” 

“Last time you said that it took 70 years.” Steve’s anxious and angry and doing his best not to direct his anger at anyone. 

“Yeah well you have us this time around, we’ll find her.” Nat assured him. 

“Let's get to work.” Tony says and everyone goes off to do something. 

Steve stands in the now empty conference room feeling helpless. He hadn’t felt like that in years. This time though he’d burn the world just to find you. No one and nothing was going to stand in his way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You aren’t sure how much time has passed but you feel groggy as you start to stir. With a groan you open your eyes, blinking slowly as you take in the space. It’s a small cell with a cot and barely any light. The events before this come flooding back and you feel your eyes water. 

“Not again.” You murmur. “Please not again.” 

The door creaks open and a large frame blocks the door and the light. You can’t tell who it is but it doesn’t matter because you’re being pulled up and out of the cell. Rough hands drag you down the hall and you fight every step of the way and actually manage to knock one of the guards down. But just like you hit the guards, they hit you back. Then you’re strapped to a chair in the middle of a room. While this is extremely familiar to you it still causes fear to finally set in. 

“The nurse that gave us the winter soldier.” The voice came from behind you. “You really gave us a hard time in finding you by hiding away with the Avengers. But no matter, you are finally back where you belong.” 

“Fuck you.” 

Your hair gets pulled back and a man with a buzzcut and what looks like a monocle is in your face. 

“Just because you have information we need, it does not mean you get to mouth off. I suggest you keep your mouth shut and do as I say.” The accent is barely there but still noticeable. He looks familiar but you can’t place it. 

“You’re going to regret this. You better count your days.”

The man smiles and lets go. 

“I like a challenge. You’ll submit to me long before the Avengers could ever find you.” 

You smile, just to taunt him. “You don’t realize you’ve pissed off Captain America. He won’t stop until he finds me. And when he does he’ll burn this place to the ground with you in it.” 

“I’d love to see him try. I have a few tricks up my sleeve. You’ve met one of them already.” 

You notice movement to your left and that same silvered hair man walks into view. Next to him is a woman with long auburn hair, there’s so much more anger in her eyes. It makes you wonder what they’ve been through. 

“They’re practically kids.” You murmur as you turn your attention back to your capture. “I’ve met men like you.” 

“I would hope so, my grandfather and father worked for hydra when you were held.” 

“Yeah? Who were they? Who are you?” 

“I’m Baron Von Strucker.” 

“Von Strucker, I remember them.” You nod.

“They were great men and I plan to follow in their footsteps.” 

“They were cowards.” There’s a stinging sensation on your cheek before you even realize that his hand connected with your face. “It’s true. They were nothing to hydra. They hid in the basement and did their little experiments, mostly on me, but they accomplished nothing. Pathetic little men that hid behind children and women because they couldn’t do anything worthy.” 

“SHUT UP!” Von Strucker hit you again, this time hard enough to knock the chair you were in back. “Your life is in my hands and you will show me respect.” 

You weren’t focusing on him, your attention was on the two other people in the room. The woman’s eyes softened before looking at the floor and the man that had taken you was also looking away. They both stood there silently but fidgeting. This made them uncomfortable and it made you hope that they weren’t exactly like the rest of the people here. 

“Take her to her cell. No one talks to her. Maybe some isolation will remind her how things work around here.” 

You don’t fight when two guards grab you and drag you to a cell that hasn’t seen the light of day since the place was built. It didn’t matter how long they’d keep you in there, you knew Steve wouldn’t stop looking for you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A chair flew through the glass wall of the conference room. Glass shards littered the floor both in the conference room and the hallway. It was taking all of Bucky, Sam and Clint to restrain Steve.

“What do you mean you haven’t found anything? It’s been weeks. The longer we wait the less chance we have of finding her.” Steve yelled. “You said you’d find her Stark, so fucking do it.” 

“Steve, you need to cool it. We aren’t going to let you go until you do.”

Steve glared at Clint but ultimately he stopped struggling against all three men. Clint pulled away first and then Sam but Bucky kept his arms around Steve’s chest just in case he wanted to try and lunge at Tony again. 

“We’ll find her but there are a lot of hydra bases that we still don’t know about. Y/N could be anywhere. I won’t stop until she’s back home.” Tony tries to assure him. 

Steve is breathing heavily, his neck is red and the color seems to creep up his jaw. When he first woke up in the present his first thought was how all of the technology would have helped him find you back when you were taken. Now it seemed like it didn’t matter. There was nothing in this world that would help Steve get to you but he couldn’t lose hope, he wouldn’t.

“Give me the list of potential hydra bases and I’ll work surveillance.” Steve said after a moment. 

“So you can go in there shield blazing? I don’t think it’s a good idea, Cap. If we go in with half assed information we might lose her for good.” 

“You know Tony’s right Steve. We’ll find a lead and we’ll get Y/N back.” Bucky says.

Steve’s shoulders slump and he nods in agreement. He’s trying so hard to not break down. He still feels guilty about losing you the first time but now he can’t and won’t forgive himself. You trusted that he would keep you safe but he let you down again. 

With the burden of knowing they weren’t any closer to finding you, Steve leaves the conference room. He has barely stepped a foot into your shared apartment. There are too many things that remind him of you now and he just couldn’t be there without you. Instead Bucky was letting Steve stay in his spare room in order to keep an eye on him. It wasn’t helping, since Steve was slowly but surely spiraling and Bucky wasn’t sure he would be able to help his friend. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You felt sick. It had been weeks since you were taken and Strucker had made your life a living hell. He kept you completely isolated for a long time. Reality was starting to feel warped and you felt as if you were going to die. 

When you were finally granted a reprieve from your solitude you were dragged through the hall of the old building. Even if you were allowed to walk, you were too weak to hold yourself up. You’d been dumped in an empty room and you stayed curled up in a ball at the center. At the sounds of footsteps you tilt your head back. The twins, as everyone calls them, walked into the room. Pietro and Wanda were their names from the whispers you’d heard. 

Your vision was blurred and you were so thirsty. You wanted to reach out to ask them for help but at the same time they had been a witness to what was being done to you and they stood by. Pietro had been the one to take you from the compound so you couldn’t trust him anyway. 

“Doing… can’t…” you heard the whispered murmurs. “Help… dead.” 

You blinked slowly when the lights above you had been blocked. 

“Are you ok?” Wanda asked in a whisper as she stared down at you. 

You just blinked, too tired to say anything, your thoughts were loud and clear though. “Fuck you and your brother.” 

Wanda flinched and took a step back. 

“What was that, sister?” 

“She said fuck us both.” Wanda relays your thoughts and you furrow your brows in confusion.

Pietro can’t help but chuckle. He steps beside you and crouches. His eyes are concerned and for a moment you believe the sincerity behind it.

“I am sorry, really. This is not what we thought would happen.” He moves some hair out of your face but you smack his hand away with what little strength you have. 

“Hydra lied? What a surprise.” 

“What is hydra?” Wanda stepped closer. “We’ve heard this term before but don’t know what it is.”

You sighed and closed your eyes, too tired to continue the conversation. “You read minds don’t you?” You murmured.

“I do.”

“Read mine, see for yourself the monsters you work for.” You say before falling asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A quick, sharp slap to your face wakes you up. You’re tied to a chair in the middle of a lab. A table full of instruments sits nearby and Strucker standing in front of you. 

“Welcome back. I hope that you’ve had enough time to realize that being disrespectful will get you nowhere.” He says. 

You look around the room and spot Pietro and Wanda. There are a few guards and some assistants waiting for their orders.

“So tell me, are you ready to cooperate?” 

You open your mouth to say something but Wanda shakes her head. Eyes go red and you hear her voice in your head.

“Go along with what he says. You need to live, you both do.” 

You furrow your brows. What did she mean by ‘you both do’? 

“Yes.” You rasp out. 

Strucker’s smile is wicked as he leans down and gets in your face. “I knew you’d break easily.” He stands back up and places his hands behind his back. “Now, it’s simple what I want from you. I want you to recreate the serum. We will get started tomorrow morning. Guards take her to her new cell and I guess she can have something to drink, since she’s decided to behave.” 

The guards undo your restraints and grab you roughly. There’s a little flash of red in your peripheral and suddenly the guards are being more gentle with you. 

The cell you’re taken to at least had a window and a cot. It’s an old uncomfortable looking thing but it’s better than cold hard stones. You’re dumped on the floor again and the door is closed without a word. 

“Wanda? Are you there? Can you hear me?” You thought.

“I’m here. Pietro and I-we’re sorry. We didn’t know who you were. Strucker told us you worked with Stark. That’s who he said we were after.” 

“What does Tony have to do with anything?”

“There are more important things to worry about right now.” Wanda’s voice echoed in your head. 

“What did you mean when you said ‘you both have to live’?” 

“Y/N, I overheard Strucker. The doctors in the lab did some tests while you were unconscious. He said you’re pregnant and that he plans to use the baby to force you to work for him.” Wanda says softly. 

“I’m pregnant?” You asked in disbelief, your hand instinctively resting over your midsection.

“You didn’t know? I’m so sorry Y/N. Pietro and I will help you out of here. We don’t want to work with these monsters anymore. Just give us time.”

“Ok, I’ll trust you both. When the Avengers show up I’ll make sure they help you get out too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve was tired of waiting. He was done sitting on the sidelines and doing nothing to find you. The team was aware of his restlessness and kept a close eye on him. But his determination was stronger than any plan they had in place. 

So under the cover of night, Steve slips out of Bucky’s apartment. He’d studied the security cameras and knew all the blind spots. Steve stuck to the shadows until he reached the hangar and headed for one of the quinjets. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Bucky’s voice broke the silence. He stepped out of the darkness and into the dimly lit night. 

“I’m going to find her.” 

“You’re going to get her killed if you’re reckless.” 

Steve turned to his lifelong friend. He was angry and tired of not knowing anything. “What am I supposed to do? Sit here until we know she’s dead for sure?” 

“This could hurt our chances of finding her. If hydra starts talking that Captain America is making the rounds we might not find her at all.” 

“We have no chances right now. There isn’t even a whisper of her name or description. We have nothing so I’m going to go find something.” Steve said through gritted teeth. “Now are you going to stop me or are you letting me go?” 

“I’m going with you.” Bucky said, leaving no room for discussion. “You’re going to need back up and I won’t be the one to tell Y/N your dumbass died looking for her.” 

“Fine but we should leave now.” 

Steve heads to the closest jet and gets in with Bucky following closely behind. 

“Good, you’re here.” Nat turned in her seat. “Sam, we’re ready to go.” 

“You got it Red.” 

“What are you guys doing here?” Steve is caught by surprise. 

“Did you think we’d let you do this alone?” Sam shakes his head as he turns back to the controls. “We knew you’d do something dumb sooner or later and we made a plan.” 

“Yeah, Rogers. Now let’s go find your girl.” 

The four of them would sneak off as often as they could. Chasing whispers and rumors as to where you might be. It was better than sitting at the compound and doing nothing. Steve wouldn’t stop until he got a lead. He would bring you home this time no matter what it took.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were exhausted but you had to keep pushing forward. Strucker did reveal the fact that you were pregnant and used your unborn baby to get you to do what he wanted. He wanted you to recreate the serum and make it even stronger. You did the best you could to make it seem like you were doing what he’d ask but really you were buying time until Steve would find you. At least you hoped he would.

Wanda and Pietro did the best to protect you. But it was hard for them as well. They had to realize and accept that the people they were working for weren’t good. You saw how much this truth affected them and the longer you were held prisoner the angrier they got. 

“How are you feeling?” Wanda whispers as you take her blood. 

“So tired and sick. I’m scared I could lose the baby.” 

“We won’t let that happen.”

You look up at her with tired and worry filled eyes. “We both know you can’t promise that. If Steve doesn’t get here soon, I think I’ll never see him again. And our baby will never be safe.” Your bottom lip trembled.

“Y/N-“ 

“What’s going on here?” Strucker’s voice boomed through the lab. His eyes were zeroed in on Wanda’s hand as she tried to comfort you. 

“Nothing.” You say quickly. “I was drawing her blood like you asked.” 

His eyes narrowed in suspicion. “You know Wanda, I think I’ve been giving you too much freedom. Maybe I should remind you who is in charge here.” 

“You can try.” Her eyes glow red and you move away from them. “But I don’t think you would like the outcome of this fight.”

Strucker grins. “I’m glad to see you haven’t lost your ruthlessness. You,” he points at you. “Keep working. I want the serum soon.” 

You nod and move back to your station. This was too much for you to handle and you started to believe that maybe Steve wouldn’t find you on time. 

~~~~~~~~

For weeks you were pushed to your limits but you did as you were told in order to keep your baby safe. Everyday you bit your tongue and kept your head down. You didn’t want to admit it but you were starting to lose hope. Wanda and Pietro were trying their best to protect you but Strucker caught on to their plan and would keep the three of you separated. All you wanted was for your baby to be safe and for Steve to know about him or her. 

The one thing you did have control over was the serum and no matter what happened you would never give Strucker the full formula. But you could deceive him, hopefully, long enough to give the twins a chance to get you out of here. At least that was the plan. Every night when you were dragged back to your cell you could hear Wanda’s voice in your head telling you the progress, albeit small, they had made to get out and take you with them. This night was no different.

“Everything will be ok, little one.” You spoke to your small round belly. The baby moved in response. 

“I think we can leave in two days. Hang in there.” 

****

You’d barely gotten to sleep when the door to your cell flew open. Two armed guards walked in and grabbed you. Like every single time before, you kicked and punched and tried to pull yourself free from their hold but it never worked. You were thrown on the floor of the lab, you cradled your small bump in order to protect your child. 

“You have been lying to me.” Strucker’s voice boomed as he paced back and forth. “The formula is worthless, you idiot.” He stopped and stared down at you. “I’m giving you two options right now. Give me the correct formula or you’ll never have that child.” 

“No, please.” You cry out.

“Then what will it be?” 

“Ok, I’ll do it. I’ll finish the serum.” 

Rough hands grab you from the floor and push you harshly towards your station. Strucker stands behind you and grabs you by the back of your neck. You wince when he pulls you back roughly. 

“If you try to deceive me again, I will kill you.” Strucker threatens before walking out. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Strucker had you working around the clock. You weren’t sure how it was possible to be an even worse human being but he figured out a way. Because of your deception now Wanda and Pietro were paying the price as well. They kept Wanda sedated enough to not be able to use her powers and Pietro was kept chained up. You could see how it was affecting the both of them and realized they were just ticking time bombs. As the serum neared its completion you worried that this would be the end for you. 

“You aren’t lying to me are you?” Stucker looks down at you.

“No. The serum is finished.” 

“Good. Bring him in.” 

The guards open a door and Pietro is pulled in. He fights against his restraints and captors. 

“Administer the serum to him.” 

“No I can’t.” You protest. 

Strucker slaps you hard. “Don’t disobey orders.” 

“No, you don’t get it. The serum is not made for someone who has an ability already. For all I know it could kill him.”

“I don’t care.” 

Tears pool in your eyes as you grab the syringe with the serum. You hesitate as you walk toward Pietro.

“It’s ok. I deserve it for bringing you here.” He says softly. 

“You don’t.”

“Look after Wanda for me ok? She will be all alone.” 

You cry silently as you bring the needle to Pietro’s neck.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tony fires a small explosive toward the building. He informs the team to move in as he flies overhead and takes down a few more guards. 

From the ground Steve runs through the forest at full speed. He only stops to fight the armed guards that stand in his way. It has been four months since you’d been taken and he has not stopped looking for you. He had done a few questionable things but he didn’t regret it if it meant bringing you back home alive and well. 

Bucky is right behind Steve. He’s fighting just as hard to get you back. It hasn’t been easy for him to see the way his best friend has lost himself in his sorrows over losing you again. With every step he takes closer to the hydra facility they’re attacking, Bucky gains more hope. He knows you have to be there and he’ll make sure that you’re reunited with Steve if it’s the last thing he does. 

“Remember, the mission is to find Y/N and bring her out safely. After that we can deal with everyone else. We can burn this place to the ground for all I care.” Steve says over comms before looking at Bucky and Sam who lands right behind them. “Are you two ready?” 

Both men nod. At this moment their only job is to support Steve. 

“In position Cap.” Nat says through comms. 

“Security system has been disengaged. You’re free to enter.” 

“Thanks, Stark. Everyone move in now.” Steve orders and everyone rushes in. 

The hallways of the building are in utter chaos as people surge forward to fight against the team. But Steve was relentless as he pushed forward. He wouldn’t leave this building without you. So if he had to fight every single person here, he would.

~~~~~~~~~~

“What the hell is happening?” Strucker yelled as the building rocked from what sounded like an explosion. 

Hope builded quickly that it could be Steve. That he finally found you and was here to save you. You took the opportunity of the distraction and threw the syringe on the floor and stepped on it. Everyone in the lab started running around so you grabbed Pietro and led him to a corner.

“Take this off.” Pietro shuffles in his restraints. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” The guard that had brought Pietro in rushes up to you. 

You don’t respond, instead you punch him in the face. He stumbles back and you take advantage, grabbing the keys and set Pietro free. 

“Hold on.”

“Pietro, wait. No this isn’t-” You scream while being set down in a safer part of the base. 

“Stay here, I’ll get Wanda.” 

A few seconds later Wanda and Pietro are standing in front of you. 

“Stay together. I will help your friends.” Pietro says before hugging his sister. “Please be careful. I’ll see you soon.” 

“We shouldn’t stay here.” Wanda grabs your hand and you begin to move down the hall. She stumbles a bit and you notice her eyes are glazed over. She’s still drugged. “There should be an exit close by.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve pushed through every single blow, gunshot and attack that came his way. Tony had just confirmed your whereabouts within the building and he was going to get to you one way or another. It was just one more hallway and a turn around the corner and you should be there. A blur of silver flashes by him and Steve stops in his tracks as it comes back around. 

“Captain, My name is Pi-” Pietro is cut off when Steve punches him in the face causing his nose to bleed before grabbing Pietro by the front of his shirt.

“You’re the one who took Y/N from me. Where is she?” Steve was seething. 

“With my sister. She is safe. I’m sorry I didn’t know.” 

“Take me to her. She better be ok or I will end you, kid.” 

Pietro leads Steve to where he left you.

“Pietro, hurry. Strucker has found us.” 

“We have to hurry. Strucker has them. This way.” Pietro runs further into the belly of the building with Steve following closely behind. 

They turn a corner and for the first time in months Steve sees you. You’re in a dirty hospital gown, your hair is disheveled and overall you look exhausted. 

****

“Let her go, now.” You breathe a sigh of relief at the sound of Steve’s voice. 

He’s covered in sweat, dirt and blood but you have never been happier to see him. 

“Well look at who we have here. Captain America, here for his whore.” 

Steve straightens his posture. There’s a fire in his eyes you’ve only seen during the war and even now it’s more intense. 

“It must be nice to hide behind the shield.” Strucker says. “To let your uniform define you. You were a waste.” 

Steve throws his shield to the side and removes his cowl. “Why don’t I show you what I can do without the shield.”

“I would but we must get going. Say goodbye to your whore.” 

Strucker pulls you by your hair while you struggle against him.

“Steve, please.” You call out to him, crying because you are so scared and tired of everything. 

“Get your shield Captain.” Pietro whispers. “I will get her out of the way and then you can move in.”

Steve quickly grabs his shield. In a quick movement you’re right behind him and he launches the shield toward Strucker. He falls backward towards the wall and then Pietro grabs him. 

“Where is my sister?” 

“You’ll never see her again.” Strucker spits out. 

“Pietro, they took her that way.” Pietro looks around the corner and back at you. “Go get her.” 

Bucky and Sam show up behind you and Steve instructs them to grab Strucker before turning to you. 

“Sweetheart-”

“I knew you would find me. I knew it.” You start crying uncontrollably in Steve’s arms.

“Let’s get you out of here.” 

Steve picks you up bridal style and starts walking back the way they came. He has to keep his emotions in check even though he wants to cry with you. This isn’t like last time, he just has to remember that.

“Wait, we can’t leave Pietro and Wanda.” You sniffle.

“Pietro was the one who kidnapped you. He’s lucky I didn’t kill him.” 

“Please Steve, you have to bring them back. They’re just kids that were fed lies. Their country is at war and they wanted to do the right thing. They kept me safe all this time.” 

Steve gives you a stiff nod but doesn’t say much else until you’re in the safety of the quinjet and being looked over by Bruce. You hear Steve say a few things but you’re so tired that you slip in and out of consciousness. 

“Sweetheart?” Steve calls you softly until you open your eyes. “We found them. Pietro and Wanda are on their way and then we can go home.”

“Good.” You close your eyes for a moment feeling the exhaustion from the last few weeks finally catching up with you before your eyes pop open again. “Steve.”

“What is it Sweetheart?”

“You have to know something.”

“Whatever it is, it can wait, ok?” Steve kisses your forehead and takes your hand. “Just rest.”

“It can’t.” You move his hand to rest over your midsection and you watch confusion color Steve’s eyes. 

“What happened? Are you hurt? Bruce, come take a look.” 

Bruce turns around from where he was looking at the computer screen. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know it’s right here.” Steve points at your belly. “It feels swollen.”

“I’m going to take a look which means pulling up the hospital gown.” 

“Ok.” You murmur as your eyes begin to close. 

“Steve, I think Y/N is pregnant.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The air wasn’t stale. That’s the first thing you noticed. Then it was the beeping and the comfortable bed you were laying in. As consciousness began to consume you, hope filled your chest that you were actually home and your rescue hadn’t been a dream. You open your eyes slowly and realize that it’s the middle of the night. Steve is sitting by the bed, his arms folded over his chest and his head tilted forward, he was asleep and looked uncomfortable. 

“Steve.” You whispered with a raspy voice. It was enough to wake him up though. 

“Sweetheart?” Steve stood up so fast he kicked his chair over. He took your hand in his and immediately kissed it. 

“I’m so glad you’re awake, you had me scared for a while.” He says. “Friday, inform the nursing staff that Y/N is awake.” Steve tells the A.I. “How are you feeling?”

“Thirsty. Still tired and achy.” 

The nurses walk in and Steve informs them that you’re thirsty. Bruce walks in a few minutes later and they all hover over you for a few minutes. They take your vitals and ask some questions before they finally give you space and Steve can be at your side again. After drinking some water you are able to talk better.

“How long was I asleep for?”

“Two weeks.” Steve teared up and it broke your heart. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” 

“Lay down with me.” You moved to make some space for him. 

“I shouldn’t. You need to be as comfortable as possible.” 

“Steve what are you-“ you gasped as your hand went to your belly. “The baby, is the baby ok?” 

Steve smiles. “Strong heartbeat and growing how he or she should be growing.” 

You started crying, happy tears this time and Steve finally moved to sit beside you. He carefully pulled you into his chest and the tension left his body. You were really here in his arms. The nightmare was over.

“What’s wrong?” 

“I’m just relieved that I’m out of that hellhole and that the baby is ok. That you saved me. I knew you would. I was scared you’d never get to know about our baby.” 

“I’m so sorry sweetheart. All of this was my fault.” He murmurs into the top of your head as he finally embraces you.

“Why is it your fault?”

“Because I didn’t protect you.” 

“Steve, honey, that son of a bitch wanted me because I know how to create the serum. He would have found a way to get to me. That’s not your fault.” You look up at him through wet lashes. “I know you’ll always blame yourself for this but I don’t. At some point you’re going to have to forgive yourself.” 

“Maybe, but not today.” 

“Still so damn stubborn.” You murmur, getting a chuckle out of him. 

“C'mon you need to rest.” 

“Ok,” you yawn. “Only if you stay on the bed with me though.” 

“But you need your space so that you can be comfortable.” 

“No. I need you close. Please? I need to feel safe. You make me feel safe.” Even though it was over it didn’t mean the fear you’d felt for the past few months would just be gone. It was still there and you knew that it would always stay there.

“Ok.” Steve relented. If his best girl needed to feel safe he’d make sure she was. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“There’s our fighter.” Bucky announced from the doorway. It was early the next day when the team started to come in to see you. Bucky being the first. He had a huge flower arrangement in his hand and a teddy bear. 

You were shuffling out of the bathroom with Steve’s help after finally being able to shower. 

“Bucky.” You opened your arms and accepted his embrace happily. 

“Darling, how are you feeling?” 

“So much better. How are you? How is everyone?” 

“I’m good. Relieved that you’re finally back. Everyone is anxious to see you. I had to beat them with a stick to get in here first.” He jokes as he helps you get back in bed. “Everyone is excited for the baby too. The first Avenger’s first baby. It’s kind of a big deal and I’m more than happy to be the favorite uncle.” 

“After all the shit you pulled in Europe? I don’t know if you’d be a good influence.” 

Bucky was shocked at your response. “You say that as if Steve isn’t standing right there. You know that baby has half of his genes right?” 

You laughed and nodded before looking lovingly up at Steve. He’s already looking at you with a soft smile. 

“You’re right. I’m going to need all the help I can get.” 

Bucky and Steve chuckle before they get a bit more serious. 

“I’m happy you’re back, darling. We were a mess without you.” 

“I missed you too, Bucky. Thank you for looking out for Steve.” No one had to tell you anything about it, you just knew he did. 

“Well as much as I loved to do it, it’s your responsibility again. So have fun with that.” Bucky joked before he smiled softly at you. “I’ll let you rest. Call me if you need anything.” 

“Thank you Buck.”  

He pressed a kiss to your forehead and left. The rest of the day the team kept coming in and out of your room. All of them congratulating you and Steve on the baby and telling you how much you’d been missed. Fortunately the last of your visitors was leaving because you were exhausted. 

“Why don’t you go up to the apartment and rest?” You told Steve although you were afraid of being left alone. 

“I’ll leave this room when you do.” 

You smiled as he placed his hand on your bump for the hundredth time that day. Your hand rests on top of his.

“I still can’t believe we’re going to be parents.” He says. 

“I know. I hope he or she gets your artistic abilities and not your rebellious tendencies.” 

Steve laughs and shakes his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

There’s a knock at the door and it opens just enough for someone to peek in.

“Wanda! How could I have forgotten about you? Please come in.” You sit up a bit more in bed.

Wanda opens the door to reveal Pietro just behind her. His eyes shift from you to Steve, who is now standing beside you in a much more rigid pose.

“Pietro.” You smile at him. He’s obviously nervous, they both are. “Please come in. How are the two of you doing?” 

“We’re ok. It’s a big adjustment but Stark was kind enough to set us up in our own apartment. And we can leave when we wish.” He says. “Who would have thought it was so easy.”

“You see, Tony’s not what he seems. At least not anymore. Will you be staying and working with the team?” 

“We don’t know.” Wanda says quietly. “We’re not sure what’s going to happen with us now.” 

You look from them to Steve who hasn’t said a word. “Well? Are they going to work with the team or not?” 

“He kidnapped you. He should be grateful that he can even walk right now.” Steve snapped, all his anger directed at Pietro.

“Steve, you have to understand them. They thought they were doing the right thing by signing up to fight for a war. Something you can relate to. Besides, they trusted someone who lied to them. Once Pietro and Wanda realized what was going on they were taking care of me. Of us.” You say while placing your hand on your swollen belly.

“We had a plan. We were going to escape.” 

“When?” 

“We had to be cautious so planning the escape was taking time.” Wanda answers. “But we would have left two days after the day you showed up.”

“We weren’t walking around freely. Wanda and I were prisoners too. We were just to blind by anger to see it. But we promise we only want to help people.” 

Steve didn’t look too convinced but you couldn’t blame him. After all, Pietro had been the one to kidnap you. But in some weird way you could understand why they did what they did. You had, afterall, been involved in the project that created the super soldier. Strucker made the Avengers look like villains. It was easy to manipulate the mind of people that were grieving and fighting to live one more day.

“I guess we can figure out how you could help. It’ll be on a trial basis only to begin with.” Steve says after a moment. 

Wanda and Pietro smiled before excusing themselves to let you rest. Steve finally relaxed and laid back down next to you. 

“Promise me you’ll give them a fair chance.” 

“I’ll try.” Steve says. “Honestly, I was trying really hard to not punch him again.” 

You laugh and rest your head against his chest. “Don’t worry you’re going to be too busy soon enough to even think about punching Pietro again.”

“We should start thinking about names.” Steve places his hand over your swollen belly once more. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Woah, where do you think you’re going?” Steve jogged to your side of the bed. 

“I need to use the bathroom. Again.”

“Let me help you.” He held his hands out and helped you out of bed.

You were so close to your due date. While you loved the fact that you were going to have a baby with the love of your life, you were also tired of being pregnant. 

Everything either ached or was sensitive or was swollen. You were ready to have this baby. It didn’t help that because of the way the first part of the pregnancy went, you were considered high risk. Well that and the fact that you were technically in your late 90s. No one was sure what would happen. 

The last few weeks you were meant to be on bed rest. Fortunately Steve had stopped going on missions when you were given this information and he was right by your side to help with whatever you needed. 

It was amazing having him close by. All you had to do was call him and he’d be right by your side. He’d been wonderful throughout the rest of the pregnancy. So excited to feel the baby moving under his touch. Steve had already collected a rather large book selection so that he could always read the baby a bedtime story. The two of you read every pregnancy and baby book available in order to be ready. But when your water breaks you feel as unprepared as ever. 

“Stevie, honey,” you stop halfway to the bathroom. 

“What is it, Sweetheart?” 

“I think my water just broke.” 

“Oh, uh-ok. It’s fine, you’re fine. We can do this.” Steve is starting to panic. “I have a plan.” 

“What’s your plan, Honey?” 

“Well, it’s a good one.” He nods but doesn’t move from his place beside you. When you look up at him you can see the worry all over his face. “What if it’s not good enough for you?”

“Honey, I think you’re starting to panic.” You say as calmly as possible. 

“No. I’m fine. Really, you don’t have to worry about me.” 

“Friday could you please tell Sam, Bucky and Nat that I need them here asap tell them it’s code Baby.” 

“Of course Ms. Y/L/N.” 

A few minutes later your three friends are rushing through the door. 

“Hi guys.” 

“Darling, what’s going on? Why does Steve look so pale?” Bucky is the first one at your side. 

“Because my water just broke.” 

“It’s finally happening.” Sam says excitedly.

“Ok boys, you know the deal. Bucky, take Y/N down to the medbay. I’ll handle your overnight bag and the baby’s bag. Sam, you’re on Steve duty.” 

You smile at them before calling Steve’s name one more time. Bucky takes your hand and with the other he supports your back. 

“Wait, give me a second.” You mutter while placing a hand over your lower belly. “Uuuhhh.” You whimper a bit. 

“That’s the first contraction.” 

“Contraction?” Steve finally snaps out of whatever it is he’s going through and stands beside you again.

“How much did it hurt?” Bucky asks.

“Enough, they’re only going to get worse.”

“Let’s get you downstairs then.” Steve offers his arm and they both walk you down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After hours of waiting and worries and pain. Steve at your side catering to your every need. The team in the waiting room anxiously wanting to hear the good news. 

You had a healthy baby boy. 

He was perfect and you knew he’d take after Steve in his looks but you didn’t care. Now there would be a mini version of the man you loved running around and you couldn’t be happier. Steve stared down at his son in awe. He was sitting in the hospital bed next to you as you cradled the infant in your arms. Both of you were enthralled by his tiny existence. 

“He’s perfect.” You murmur while running your finger from the bridge of his nose to the tip, booping his little button nose. 

“I never thought I would love anyone as much as I do but I feel like my heart is going to explode every time I look at him.” 

“Me too.” You agree with Steve. 

“I love you, thank you for giving me our son. Thank you for everything. I don’t think I could ever give back what you’ve given me.” Steve says before kissing your temple. “But I hope I can try and repay you the rest of my life, if you let me.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

You turn as you feel Steve shuffle off the bed and kneel beside it. When you look down at him he has a beautiful diamond ring in hand.

“Steve…” 

“This isn’t how I planned it but I can’t wait anymore. You are everything to me. Even after everything you’ve been through, you’re still the same loving and caring person I met years ago. You’ve given me more than I’ve ever deserved and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Y/N will you marry me?” 

You started crying. It wasn’t a cute sort of crying, it was very much an ugly cry but you nodded your head anyway because you couldn’t think of anything better than spending the rest of your life with Steve. He gets up and places the ring on your finger before cupping your face and giving you a sweet, loving and gentle kiss. 

“Sweetheart, don’t cry.” Steve tries to wipe away your tears.

“I can’t help it. I’m just so happy and I’m also a mess right now.” 

“You just gave birth. You’re allowed to be a mess.” 

After a few minutes of Steve giving you hugs, reassuring words and kisses you finally calm down. 

“We still have to name him. And let the team in.” You say.

“I think I have a name but tell me what you think.” 

The team shuffled in one by one, after you freshened up of course. All of them were excited to meet the newest addition to the family. Sam and Bucky of course bickering about who would hold the baby first. 

“Boys, that’s enough.” You say and they quiet down. 

Everyone’s eyes are on the little sleeping form in your arms. 

“Everyone, we'd like you to officially meet our son.” Steve says while standing beside you. 

“What’s his name?” 

“We decided to name him after a very dear friend and the reason we met in the first place.” Steve says fondly while looking down at you. “Everyone meet James Abraham Rogers.” 

Bucky stared at the two of you in shock. You could only smile. 

“Would you like to hold him, Buck?”

“Are you sure? I mean-” Bucky motions towards his left arm.

“We trust you.” 

With tears in his eyes Bucky walks over and lets you place the baby in his arms. He’ll never admit to it but he’d been practicing how to hold babies by using a stuffie. “Hi buddy, I’m your Uncle Bucky.” 

Slowly everyone eventually got a chance to hold the baby. Sam and Bucky were still bickering who would be little James’ favorite uncle. Now though Bucky was able to use the fact that James had been named after him. Steve had to stop the arguing a few times. As Wanda handed you the baby back she noticed your ring.

“You’re engaged? When did this happen?” 

Steve tells them the story and how it happened only moments before they walked in. Everyone congratulates you on the baby and the engagement before leaving you alone. It was good timing because James was starting to get fussy. You and Steve got to work on changing his diaper and getting him fed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Being new parents was a whole new challenge for the both of you. All of the parenting books couldn’t help you to change what felt like the thousandth diaper of the day. But you nor Steve would change it for the world. It was exhausting but rewarding. 

Seeing Steve step into fatherhood was the most beautiful thing ever. With everything he did there was so much care and thought put into it. He was still a loving, caring and supportive partner which made things better for you and vice versa. 

“Need anything Sweetheart?” Steve was walking into your room. 

“Could you maybe fluff up my pillow?” 

You were currently feeding your son and couldn’t really move around. 

“Of course.” Steve stopped at your side and did as you asked before kissing the top of your head. “Better?” 

“Much better, thank you.” 

“How’s our boy doing with the added ounces?” 

“He’s loving it.” You chuckle as you look down at your son. “He’s growing so fast I feel like I can’t keep up.” 

“Must be the serum. Are you worried?” 

This was always a sore spot for Steve. The possibility of his son being sick or getting sick easily always weighed on him. The fact that little James was so different from other children worried him to no end.

“Absolutely not. His pediatrician said he’s hitting all of the developmental milestones. Our son is healthy, honey. If anything the serum will keep him from getting sick. It’s a good thing.” 

“I know.” 

“Look at that, he’s all done.” You say while wiping the excess milk from around his mouth. “He’s in a little milk coma.” 

“Let me take him so that you can rest.”

You smile at Steve as he grabs your son to immediately start burping him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve was in James’ nursery reading him a bedtime story. He was just about to be six months old. It was odd how time moved so quickly yet slow at the same time. Jamie was so big but still so little. You adored him. You also adored seeing Steve interact with him. They loved each other so much you loved to be around them. 

“The end.” Steve said slowly. You stood in the doorway watching Steve close the book and set it down. “Now let’s get you into your crib. I got a date with your mama.” 

After Steve had settled James into his crib for the night he met you at the door. 

“You look beautiful.” He whispers.

“It feels nice to be dressed up in something other than leggings and t-shirts.” 

“Well you pull both looks off very well. Alright sweetheart, I hope you’re ready for our date.” Steve grabs the baby monitor and leaves the door ajar. 

Steve silently leads you to the living room which had been transformed. The furniture was pushed out of the way and where the coffee table once sat was a picnic. Fairy lights hung from one side of the room to the other. The tv was gone, leaving the wall blank. Steve remedied that by turning on a projector with a movie already queued up, one you still hadn’t seen. 

“This is wonderful.” You smiled as you took a seat on the picnic blanket. 

The two of you cuddled and watched the movie while snacking on everything Steve had packed. Steve ended the night by putting on a playlist he had carefully curated for the two of you and dancing. 

You had your head against Steve’s chest while he swayed with you. There was no mistaking the dopey grin on your face.

“What are you thinking about?”

“I was just remembering the night you walked me back to my room at boot camp.” 

“When you kissed my cheek?” 

“Yeah.” Your smile widens.

“Why?” 

You pull back to look at him. “You were so cute. I really wanted to drag you into my room with me.” 

Steve laughs but his cheeks turn a light shade of pink. 

“What? It’s true.” 

“You would have given me a heart attack, Sweetheart.” 

“Good thing I was a nurse. I would have fixed you right up.”

Steve shakes his head but meets you halfway for a kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James was a wonderful baby. He was sweet and easy going although he was starting to show his mischievous side, something you blamed completely on Steve. He was also starting to show his strength. Like the time he had a temper tantrum while holding his bottle and crushed it with his little hands. It didn’t matter to you or Steve though, like everything else in your life and relationship you learned and adjusted. 

“There’s my best guy.” Steve had just walked into your shared home after being away on a mission. “And my best girl.” 

“Hi Honey.” You say from your place on the floor where you’re playing with your almost one year old. He looked so much like Steve it was ridiculous.

“Hi Sweetheart. I missed you both so much.” 

“We missed you too.” You grab James and stand him up, turned so that he can see his daddy clearly. “Didn’t we baby.” 

James starts doing grabby hands, kicking his feet and babbling when he sees Steve. “Dada. Dada.” James calls out excitedly. You set him on his feet hoping that he’ll finally take his first steps. 

“Hi bubs. Were you waiting for me?” 

“Dada.” Jamie does grabby hands again as he wobbles on his feet. 

“C’mon you can do it. Can you walk over to dada?” Steve kneels and holds out his arms.

You had to put a hand over your mouth to stop the excited scream as Jamie did take his first step. Then another until he managed to get to Steve who picked him up and peppered his face with kisses. Jamie laughed at the feeling of Steve’s scruff against his cheek. You and Steve celebrated this milestone by praising your son endlessly. Eventually Steve sets Jamie down and he starts taking a few more steps. You encourage him to keep going while Steve goes to change. Jamie sees his father leave the room and starts following him slowly. 

“What are you doing?” Steve pops out of your shared room. Jamie jumps at the sudden sound of Steve’s voice and falls on his butt. He giggles while getting up again. “Are you following me?”

“Dada.” Jamie nods and points at Steve. 

“Alright, help me pick out what I’m going to wear to hang out with you bubs.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Daddy.” Jamie yells when he sees Steve standing at the other end of the aisle. “Hi daddy.”

“Hi bubs. C’mon up here.” 

Jamie, uncaring that he’s in his little tux, runs down the aisle and into Steve’s arms earning some laughs from the crowd. Both of them looked handsome in their best clothes. The bridesmaids walk down next followed by the flower girl, Clint’s daughter. Finally you appear, a vision in white, with Bucky at your side to walk you down the aisle. 

“Look at mommy. Isn’t she beautiful?” Steve whispers in your son’s ear. They both watch, eyes full of love, as you make your way to them. 

“Mommy you look beautiful.” Jamie says as he leans forward and gives you a kiss to the cheek. The guests ‘aww’ as they see the exchange before Steve places your two year old on the ground. 

Heartfelt vows are exchanged between you. Tears are shed by both you and Steve as well as some of the guests. When the officiant announces that Steve may now kiss the bride he doesn’t waste another second and pulls you in. Your guests cheer as Steve finally pulls away.

“Mommy. Mommy. I get kisses.” Jamie says from beside you.

“Of course you do, my baby.” You lean down and give him a kiss on the cheek, leaving a red lipstick stain on it. 

****

“Presenting for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Rogers.” The DJ announces as you and Steve make your way into the reception. Everyone cheers as you walk in and you head straight to the dance floor to share your first dance. The music began and Steve started leading you.

“Is this-“ 

“The song we first danced to?” Steve finished your question. “Yes it is.” 

“You remembered?” 

“How could I forget? You looked beautiful then and you look beautiful now.” 

You smile as your cheeks warm at the compliment. Steve dips his head and gives you a quick kiss. When he pulls back you have matching smiles. There’s some tugging on your dress and you see Jamie standing there with his arms in the air. 

“Come on, let’s dance with mommy.” Steve says as he holds your son. “Hold her hand.” Steve instructs while placing his free hand back on your waist.

“My two handsome boys.”

James giggles when you boop his nose. Steve instructs him to spin you and he does. When the music ends your guests all cheer for you. Steve escorts you to your table and you take a seat. 

After dinner, there’s the speeches. Sam goes first and he manages to give a funny and heartfelt speech. Then Nat spoke, first about meeting Steve and then meeting his better half. She was surprisingly sweet and lovely. Finally it was Bucky’s turn. 

“Hello everyone.” He starts off by saying. You could tell how nervous he was and you nodded encouragingly when he looked your way. “Well my name is Bucky and I’m the best man. No one listen to whatever Sam is saying.” 

“C’mon man.” 

Everyone chuckles at Sam’s outburst. 

“I believe you all know that I am Steve’s oldest friend. I was there before the suit and the muscles.” 

You took Steve’s hand and squeezed it. 

“But what he lacked in physical strength he made up for in determination and passion. That’s how he met his beautiful bride and my dearest friend. Y/N is more than a friend, she’s like a sister and one of the most caring people I know. It’s a great thing to watch two people you care about fall in love. But it’s something so special to watch them love in times of war. And that’s what they did. No two people were ever meant to be, more than Steve and Y/N. Even after decades of being separated they somehow found a way to each other. So let’s all raise a glass and toast to the happy couple. Here’s to many more years of happiness.” Bucky raises his glass along with everyone else and they cheer. 

After the speeches were done the party could really begin. You’d changed into a more comfortable dress and headed to the dance floor. Your friends huddled around you and Steve as everyone moved to the music.  

At some point in the night Steve managed to pull you out to the balcony of the reception hall you were at. The fresh air felt wonderful after all the dancing you’d been doing. 

“What’s going on?” You asked Steve with a teasing tone. “Got tired of sharing me with everyone?” 

“Yes I did actually.” 

You giggle as you wrap your arms around Steve’s midsection. With a contented sigh you rest your head against his chest, feeling his heart beating way too fast. 

“Are you ok?” 

“Yes. Just a little nervous.” 

You pull back and look at him with concern. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing’s wrong. I just-I have two gifts for you and I hope you like them.” 

“You already got me a gift.” You hold up your wrist to show the bracelet he sent you while you were getting ready that morning. 

“What can I say? I like to spoil my girl, my wife.” 

You smiled up at him. 

“Here is the first gift.” Steve pulls out a piece of paper from his suit pocket and gives it to you. 

“What is it?” 

“Open it.” 

You do as he says and unfold the paper he just gave you. It’s the floor plan to a home. “Did you buy a house?” 

“Not just any house. Look at the address.” 

“Chicago? Steve-“ you look up at him with wide eyes. “Is this my aunt’s house?” 

“It is.”

“Are we moving to Chicago?” 

“I mean it’s not Brooklyn but we can if you want. We can visit there whenever you want, you can rent it, sell it.The house is yours for you to do as you please. ”

“I’ll have to think about it. Steve, this house, it…” You didn’t have the words to express how much this house meant to you.

“It was special for me too. I thought we should keep it in the family.” 

You hugged the deed to your chest. 

“There’s one more thing.” Steve takes a deep breath to ready himself. “I’m officially retiring as Captain America.” 

You gasped at the news. There were no words to describe the myriad of emotions you were feeling. 

“I know it can’t be easy to accept but I think it’s a step in the right direction for our family.” 

You just stared at him with tear filled eyes. 

“Please say something. I know you were a part of the program and I don’t want to disappoint you but-“ 

“Disappoint? Steve this is the best news you could ever give me. Yes Captain America holds a special place in my heart but you’re more important to me than anything. You did your duty. You went through so much already, you deserve to rest. To enjoy time with your son.” 

“That’s all I want. I want to be by your side and not miss anything else with Jamie.” Steve replies, the tension in his shoulder melting away. “I’ll still help with recruits and if something major ever happens then of course but other than that I’m just going to have a desk job.” 

“That sounds wonderful. It’s the best gift you could’ve ever given me.” 

You grab the lapels of his tux and pull him down, connecting your lips with his in a sweet kiss. The volume of the music coming from inside gets your attention so you pull away. 

“Sorry guys, he kept asking for you.” Bucky says as Jamie walks out onto the balcony before heading back inside.

“What if we have another one?” You ask as you watch your son dancing his way towards you. 

“We should head out for our honeymoon so we can get started on baby number two then.” 

You laugh as Steve kisses your neck. This was perfect. Your family was perfect. From now on you would get to enjoy your life and watch your son grow up along with your husband. You were meant to be together no matter who or what tried to get in your way. 

The war was over.

Now there was only love in times of peace. 

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[imsadstuff]

Loving You Is Red - A Jeon Jungkook Fic -Epilogue

Synopsis: Jeon Jungkook's name was unheard on the Formula 1 paddock till he got a chance to drive a Mercedes car as a reserve driver. His 2020 starts looking brighter as he signs with Ferrari and meets you, his team mates little sister. So many cliched tropes, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, dating brother's best friend, and most importantly Jeon Jungkook looks smoking hot in a Ferrari! Genre: Fluff, angst, slice of life and humor Author's Note: Sorry for the delay, my mother got hospitalized and I couldn't find the time to finish this. This took a lot of time and energy, so I hope you enjoy reading this. If you do please leave me a like or comment, please don't be a ghost reader! Word Count: 4.6k+ (I reccomend reading on a desktop if possible!) Warnings: Sexual themes, drinking, and just a whole lot of fluff.

Link to my masterlist if you want to check out my other stuff : here

Link to the main fic if you haven't read it yet here

AO3 link incase you prefer that: here

Race 14 Monaco Grand Prix 2029

“Cooking with your mother was disastrous. I couldn’t even chop properly and I’m sure I ruined her batch of kimchi but she was still super kind” you share as Jungkook chuckles in the car beside you.

“I promise you it isn’t as bad as it is in your head” Jungkook tries and reassure you as his hand intertwines with yours.

“And if she doesn’t invite you to make kimchi next year, we’ll know for sure” Jungkook says with a teasing tone and you swat his hand away as you simmer in last week's embarrassment.

“Ignoring the massive disaster, I was with your mother, how was fishing with my dad and Phillip. Phillip sent me a bunch of drunk texts saying how I was all grown up, did you say something weird?” you ask, turning to look at him and Jungkook brushes it off, taking a hold of your hand again.

“We were just talking about us dating for the first time and how young we were, that might have caused that” he says as he drives the car into the parking lot.

“Also, Phillip is a little shit who and told me that I shouldn’t go easy on your father, and to put it simply, I beat your father at chess and now I know where Phillip and you get the competitive gene from” he says as he unbuckles the seatbelt and you look at him all confused.

“What did my father do to you and what makes you think I’m competitive?” you ask with a pointed tone and Jungkook snickers, very sarcastically.

“Your father doesn’t ever want to play any games with me for the sake of our relationship and don’t you remember the Mario Kart incident? Because that remote almost hit me” he complains as he pulls you closer by your hand.

“Oh will you drop the Mario Kart incident, I was eating chips and my hands were all oily and I can’t believe you’re-” Jungkook shuts you up with a soft peck on your lips, followed by a deeper one as he bites your lower lip.

“Baby, I might be competitive but not as much as you.” you whisper against his lips and he chuckles, finally pulling away.

“That is true. Now come on, I gotta win this race!” Jungkook says and you snicker, he’s definitely more competitive.

“So, the first date was great, superb actually. We connected, there was this undeniable chemistry and why are you making that face?” Lando stops talking when he notices the dubious smile on your face.

“Did Lily tell you something else? Did she not have a good time? Oh my god is that why she hasn’t texted me since the last half an hour?” Lando is starting to panic and Jungkook and you share a knowing smile, getting a kick out of your friend's misery.

Lando and Lily hit it off at Jungkook’s last birthday dinner and Lando didn’t hesitate at all before asking her out.

“I just want it put in writing that you and Lily will not bother us with your relationship troubles” you say sternly as the three of you make way to the hospitality area. Lando moved to Ferrari about a year ago, Jungkook and him have been a great team. 

“Relationship, so she said something good, what did Lily say ___?” Lando asks with agitation and Jungkook giggles as his hand intertwines with yours.

“I’m sorry best friend, best friend privilege” you tease and Lando groans, only making Jungkook laugh louder. Lando isn’t the type to doubt himself when it comes to relationships, so this is quite amusing.

“Just chill my man, focus on the race for now” Jungkook says tapping Lando’s hand and he distractedly nods.

“Would you guys be up for brunch at my place tomorrow, a double date?” Lando asks reading something from his phone, probably a text from Lily.

“Sure-” “We can’t actually, we have a thing” Jungkook interrupts you, but you just tag along.

“Yeah we do, let’s plan for some other time” you say and Lando nods understandingly, before he walks off as he’s texting someone.

“We have a thing tomorrow?” you ask as the two of you slip into Jungkook’s driver room. Jungkook’s quiet for a second as he pulls off his polo, ready to slip into his driving suit.

“I was hoping we could spend the day decorating our apartment, we could build the bookshelves that are still in boxes” he says with a small smile as he takes a seat to get rid of his shoes. The two of you moved in together a few months ago but hadn’t gotten to decorating yet.

“Aren’t you such a romantic, but you and I both know I can’t be participating with building stuff, I broke my hand the last time and your very expensive coffee table” you say and Jungkook chuckles, pulling you in his lap.

“Counter offer, you sort the books in our guest room and I build the bookshelf, like the provider I am” he offers with a big smile as his arms circle around your waist.

“Are you sweet talking me into doing chores Jeon?” you ask in an accusing tone and he only laughs louder.

“Maybe,” he says, pecking your lips softly. “What about tonight? Are we doing your winner's dinner?” you ask, smiling against his lips.

“I am infuriated that I can’t eat icing off your tits tonight, I have a work dinner thing” he grumbles and you run your hands down his back.

“We can do winner’s breakfast instead, it’s all about improvising baby” you say in an attempt to lift his spirits.  “saranghae” you whisper looking in his big, brown eyes, you had started picking up a few Korean words here and there, dropping them casually and amusing Jungkook. “I love you” Jungkook says, pulling away to look you in the eyes. He takes a deep breath to really take in the moment.

The race started and ended quickly for Jungkook after reliability issues in lap 10. You sigh as you sit opposite your father, winning is important for Jungkook, it really it, but he’s also gotten great with compartmentalizing it.

“Too bad the car isn’t supporting him” you father says and you nod, watching on the tv’s as the camera’s follow Jungkook walking into the garage.

“At least he’ll get to rest during the summer break” you say, looking forward to the next few weeks of vacation.

“Where are you guys going?” your father asks as he turns to look at you. It wasn’t going to be a vacation per say.

“Jungkook bought a house in Busan, it’s by the ocean, kinda close to the one his family used to live in. We’ll leave Thursday, and just spend a few weeks there, I’ll work, he’ll train, just our usual days but in Busan” Jungkook had proposed this weeks ago, and you immediately agreed.

“Sounds romantic” your father says with a big, bright smile, “Jungkook really makes you happy doesn’t he” he continues talking, this isn’t a question but more like a statement.

“Life is better with him in it” you say as your eyes catch his across the room, immediately, you flash him a comforting smile and he mimics one too as he walks towards you.

“Next race will be better son” your father tells Jungkook as he takes a seat beside you.

“Hopefully we’ll be done with the engine issues” he sighs with frustration and your hand finds his, interlocking them immediately.

“Issues like these are so threatening to my championship chances, so utterly out of my hand” Jungkook voices his concerns and your father listens intently, knowing all about it.

“It so much worse because you can’t fix the issues and it threatens the team morale” your father says and Jungkook nods intensely. Soon, Namjoon comes over too, the three of them talking about the issues in length while you sit there quietly, while Jungkook rubs his thumb across your hand.

“You’re meeting is at around 8 at Blue Bay, and they’ve scheduled a post-race meeting at 6:30” Namjoon reminds Jungkook before he stands up to leave. Your father left earlier too, saying something about having dinner appointments.

“You’ve been awfully quiet” Jungkook says, turning around to look at you.

“I’m kinda tired” you say resting your head against his arm. Jungkook is really tempted to cancel his dinner thing and go home with you, but you talk him out of it.

“I promise I’ll call you if I don’t feel any better after dinner,” you tell him and he grumbles, bringing his arm around your waist.

“Did you get your test results back? I know you’re all weak because of deficiencies, that’s why your hands are always cold” Jungkook sits for a few more minutes, knowing full well the meeting is going to start any moment now.

“The doctor will call me when it’s done, just will you go and do your work. One of us needs to make shit load of money, we have expensive taste” you tease him in attempts to lighten the situation.

“Call me if you need anything-“ he says as he sneaks a quick peck on your lips, “or nothing, just call me” “I will” you reassure him with a soft pat on his cheek.

Jungkook isn’t a fan of talking one on one with reporters, but Namjoon assured him a couple thousand times and somehow made him agree to this dinner.

What he wasn’t expecting was an excited, senior writer for Vogue Korea, Jung Hoseok. They click immediately, talking endlessly about anything and everything under the sun.

“So, this is your ninth year at ferrari and you’ve decided to move to mercedes, what motivated the move?” Hoseok asks and Jungkook takes a big sip of his drink, this question is the reason this interview was set up. The move hasn’t been announced, yet.

“My years at ferrari have made me the champion I am, I won seven world championships with them but I’ve also felt a little stagnant in my career. The move is a way to challenge myself as a driver and also making a profitable move as a driver” Jungkook explains calmly and Hoseok scoffs.

“You’re so amazingly media trained, the answers are given by a PR person aren’t they” the reporter notes and Jungkook laughs out loud.

“My manager, he’s the reason I talk so well” Jungkook answers candidly.

“So, the move is not because of the reliability and strategy issues?” “Those reasons obviously played a part in the decision making. Ferrari has been struggling for the last two years since they changed their engine producer, and I wanted to stick with my team through the pain, but I’m not 20 anymore, I’m almost 30. I told my manager after the first three terrible races last year, ‘We’ll stick with them for a year, give them time to work out the kinks, they deserve patience from me, at least for a year’. But again, the since the start of this year, it hasn’t been that great, so after lengthy discussions with my manager, parents and girlfriend, I decided to make the move” Jungkook answers honestly, and Hoseok is a little stunned by it. They go on to discuss the move to mercedes more, talking about going back to where it all started.

“You don’t talk about your girlfriend much to the press or media, your relationship is extremely private even missing from each other’s social media, is there a reason for that?”

“I’ve kept my relationship with ___ private because the more public I make it, the more people feel like they have a say in the relationship. And I don’t want people’s opinions or thoughts guiding our relationship, and honestly, I can’t bear losing her again”

“This might be an odd question, but how do you think being in love has changed you?” this question sticks with Jungkook for a while, he thinks it over for a good few minutes.

“It has made me a much more, stronger, and confident person. I think being loved by someone you love endlessly is one of the most beautiful thing in the world. She doesn’t love me despite or because, she just loves me for being Jungkook and that’s, um, something that’s really helped me grow and change as a person for the better.” Jungkook sighs the more he thinks about you, he wonders if you are still feeling sick.

“Can I ask you a few more questions about your relationship? You can say no” Hoseok asks and Jungkook strangely encourages him. Most reporters he’s talked to are always looking for a scoop, this is the first time a reporter seems to be taking actual interest in him.  

“Were the two of you set up by your former teammate and now close friend Phillip Lee or did it just happen naturally?”

“Phillip didn’t even know we’d been dating till we broke up” Jungkook says and chuckles, thinking back to the before the first race of 2021, Phillip literally cornered him in his drivers room and asked him what was wrong with him.

“Back in 2020, there weren’t a lot of people my age on the paddock. I really needed a friend, so I reached out to ___. We were friends for a good few months before I realised, I was in love with her. Luckily, she felt the same way” Jungkook has the widest smile as he thinks back, just makes him realise how much time has passed.

“You talk of a break up, did it affect you as a driver?” Hoseok asks as he sits up straight.

“As much as I hate admitting it, it did, I’m human after all. What’s going on in my personal life usually doesn’t affect me as a driver because I’m great at compartmentalizing, but losing someone I love, so abruptly, and especially when I couldn’t do anything to stop to let her slip away, it frustrated me to no end and it affected my performance as a driver, initially at least” Jungkook confesses and the reporter passes him an encouraging smile.

“The two of you have been dating for four years-“ “Five in total” Jungkook corrects him and the two of them chuckle out loud. “The two of you have been dating for five years now, does the future of your relationship affect your future as a driver? To bring up Phillip again, he retired a few months after his first son was born and has been living a quiet life away from F1 since, do you see yourself going down that road too? Putting your relationship and family ahead of anything by your mid-thirties?”

“Just last week I was facetiming Phillip, and he was building a dollhouse, surrounded by his kids. Phillip was obviously, very happy as a f1 driver, but being a father has made him content like never before. I don’t know what it’s going to be like with us, but I know ___ and I will come to a decision that’s best for the two of us”

“Talking of retirement, what do you see yourself filling time with when retired?” Hoseok asks, relaxing a little as he sits back in the chair.

“Sometime during early 2019, I knew I didn’t have a contract for the next year so my sister and I really started thinking of plan b’s outside of racing, and we narrowed down on the option of me going to college and taking the traditional route. I have always wondered, what would life be right now if things didn’t end up the way they did, and even though I was and am ecstatic that I landed in ferrari back then. I would like to take the college route too, see how it shapes my future. I really enjoyed being a student, and I think I’d enjoy going back to it. My girlfriend also thinking that I can sing pretty well and be a musician, but I think love has made her a little delusional” Jungkook jokes about the last part, making the reporter laugh too.

“To tie up the interview, this is your last year with ferrari, last year to win the championship in red. Endings are usually the time one gets reflective, how do you reflect back at the last eight years?”

“I look back and I’m filled with gratitude, so much gratitude. I am sure you’ve seen the video from my first karting championship win, an interviewer asking me what my dream f1 team would be, I remember saying ferrari with that excited high-pitched voice. I truly did want to drive for ferrari but at the same time as I made my way through F3 and F2, the dream started looking unattainable. Just minutes before I sighed the ferrari contract, ___ congratulated me on signing with ferrari, that’s when it really sunk in. I went into my hotel room and cried because of how overwhelmed and excited I was to be achieving a lifelong dream. My time at ferrari has shaped me into the man and driver I am, the ups, downs, agreements and disagreements have taught me so many invaluable lessons. I met the love of my life, got the opportunity to work with some of the most amazing people, won seven world championships, all because of my time at ferrari, and I truly know it in my heart that none of it would have happened if things didn’t go exactly as they did.”

Jungkook made a bet with himself, if he found you asleep on the sofa with your glasses still on and aggressively clutching a book, he’d buy you flowers tomorrow morning. He would have even if he lost the bet. But he audibly awes when he does win the bet, he’s found you like this a few thousand times, but it always endears him somehow. Jungkook quietly takes off your glasses and puts the book away. Crouching down, his eyes level with your tightly shut ones, softly, he grazes your face.

“You really hate falling asleep in our bed all by yourself, don’t you” he says to himself as he pushes some of your hair away from your face. Jungkook doesn’t struggle one bit when he picks you up bridal style, and lays you on the bed. He notices how your hand instinctively reached for his, holding onto him tightly.

Jungkook’s exhausted from the race and the day he’s had, all he wants to do is lay down and get some shut eye, but he sits by the you for a few too long, afraid him moving is going to wake you up. But he does eventually pry his hands out of your grip and jump into the quickest shower of his life.

“When did you get home?” you ask turning to face Jungkook as he dries his hair with a towel.

“20 minutes ago?” he says abandoning the towel and picking up the hair dryer now that you’ve up.

“How did the interview go?” you ask as you sit up to drink some water.

“Surprisingly well, I talked about you. A lot” he says from the dressing table and you give him a quizzical look.

“Why?” you ask as your eyes follow him around the room. Jungkook just smiles and looks away as he shuts the hair dryer off.

“He asked the right questions” Jungkook says massaging his torso as he walks to bed, he takes slides into bed, leaning in for a quick kiss.

“___” he whispers your name against your lips and you sigh, running your hands through his hair.

“I am so looking forward to summer break, just you and I relaxing. Maybe if you feel like it, we take a dip in the ocean or you watch me swim in the ocean. I could do a slutty Baywatch style walk for you-“ you shut Jungkook up by sliding into his lap.

“You ramble when you’re tired” you note with speed as you lean down to kiss him, fiercely, leaving Jungkook a little breathless. In the middle of making out, your hands travel to his chest, hoping to tug off his t-shirt when you notice something.

“Why is your heart beating like crazy” you ask noticing his erratic heartbeat. His lips flatter to a shy smile as realisation dawns on the two of you.

“Oh my god, Jungkook you’re going to make me cry” you say cradling his cheeks and he grumbles pulling you closer.

“I’m sure your heart beats for me like that too” he says reaching for your chest under the t-shirt.

“Babe, you’re just grabbing my tit” you note sarcastically as his finger grazes your hard nipple.

“I can’t help if your heart is behind your tit” he teases you, tugging on your nipple and getting the exact kind of moan from you.

“But really, it does. Even if my words and actions are lacking sometimes, my love for you grows each day” the tender words catch Jungkook a little off guard, not that you aren’t vocal about it, maybe he really needed this kind of confirmation from you today

Soft sunlight is peeking through the curtains, illuminating your face. Turning around to avoid the sunlight, you snuggle even closer to Jungkook, nuzzling in his chest. Jungkook’s been awake for a few minutes now, but he isn’t ready to let go of you yet. His alarm goes off, and he struggles to turn it off, but he does.

“Babe, I really need to go, Namjoon hyung is probably waiting for me downstairs” he grumbles but at the same time doesn’t let go of you. Training is intense as a F1 driver, and Jungkook takes it seriously.

“Kook is summer break” you complain as he detaches himself from you. He chuckles as you continue to whine as he gets dressed as quickly as he can.

“I promise I’ll pick up breakfast on my way,” Jungkook says mid brushing his teeth. Wiping off his face, he changes into a fresh set of clothes, ready to be out the door.

“You stay put, I’ll be back in forty minutes and we’ll resume the activities of last night” Jungkook insinuates as you turn around in bed to face him. There are butterflies in your stomach just thinking about last night, and they only intensify as he holds your jaw tight as he kisses you, tugging on your lip.

Jungkook feels giddy as he makes his way to Namjoon, continuing to stretch as he walks over to his hyung.

“I’m thinking we go by the church today-“ “I think I’m going to propose to ___” Jungkook interrupts him and Namjoon looks at him dumb founded.

“Um, that’s wonderful. The two of you are really-“ “Yeah, I know we’re pretty darn cute, but I’m thinking about proposing today, more accurately by breakfast” Jungkook says very calmly as Jungkook continues to stretch.

“Okay, so, um-“ “I have had the ring for a few months now and I was looking for the perfect time, and I thought I’d do it while we were in Busan but I don’t think I can wait any longer.” Jungkook says, taking a deep breath.

“This morning, I was looking at ___’s left hand, and I just knew, I had to propose right away. It just feels like the right moment” Jungkook explains and the panic is starting to build, panic mixed with a shit ton of excitement.

“I don’t know if we’d be here if I didn’t advise you to break up with ___, but I’m glad we’re here” Namjoon says patting Jungkook’s arm.

“Hyung you gotta stop beating yourself up about that,” “I know, but I am seriously, so happy for you and ___” Namjoon says and Jungkook smiles widely.

“I know, now I gotta get going with breakfast and flowers before ___ wakes up” Jungkook says running a hand through his hair, it’s a nervous tick. “Remember to set up a camera, you’ll want pictures”

Jungkook hears the shower turn off as he plates the breakfast Most people would want a grand proposal, but Jungkook knows you’ll want a private, lowkey one more. He knows you’ll want to cherish this moment, without a crowd and attention around. He fixes the flowers as you step out the washroom, drying your hair as you walk across the room. Jungkook knows you aren’t going to dry your hair right away, no matter how many times he asks you to, he knows you’re going to be walking into the living room any moment now.

“Jungkook, are you back already?” you shout from the room, hearing some noises come from the kitchen.

“Yeah, I cut the run short, come out here” he yells, locating the ring. Before you can reply, your phone rings and you pick it up immediately.

“Um, okay” you reply to the call as Jungkook checks the camera, making sure it’s recording.

“Yeah, 1 pm works for us, we’ll be there” you reply as Jungkook calls out for you again.

“Alright, I’ll see you later” you mutter turns to walk towards the living room, and realising,

Jungkook’s waiting for you, on a knee. You mutter a oh my god as realisation sets in, Jungkook anxiously bites his lip, waiting for you to say something. The silence is starting to eat Jungkook, he’s starting to regret this, you’re going to say yes, right?

“I feel amazing each morning I get to wake up next to you, and a few months back, I decided I wanted a lifetime of it. I was waiting for the right moment; I came so close to asking you after we finished that trek in Australia. It was perfect, the view, the feeling, but I knew you would never forgive me for proposing me while you were all sweaty” he jokes and you giggle, the tears starting to form in your eyes.

“Then I thought, I’d do it in Busan, I even got a planner and everything but something changed this morning. Your hand reached for mine, like it does every morning. I felt your ring finger, and I just knew I couldn’t wait any longer.” Jungkook’s a little teary eyed too as his hand swiftly open the velvet box, revealing the ring, and you gasp, like you weren’t expecting it.

“Will you marry me ___?” Jungkook feels a little breathless he finally asks the question. The smile on your face widens like you’re going to say yes to him, but Jungkook is absolutely shocked by what you say next.

“I’m pregnant. We’re pregnant!” you say and the color completely drains from Jungkook’s face as you pull him up. “What?” his voice is barely audible as he asks you that. “The, um, doctor just called, the tests they ran last week. Turns out I don’t have any deficiencies, turns out I’m pregnant” you retell the events of the phone call and he gasps with shock.

“Oh my god, we’re going to have a fucking baby!” Jungkook shouts with excitement as he pulls you close for a kiss, and a few more.

"um, yeah the doctor asked if we could go in for the first sonogram today afternoon, that's fine right? You don't have anything planned right?" you ask as you pull away from him a little, Jungkook wants to hug you tight, like he wants to let you know just how intensely he's feeling, but he doesn't.

"___, we're having a baby, nothing is more important than you and the baby" he says running a hand through your hair, sensing some tension from you.

The two of you just stand in each other's embrace for a while, letting the moment soak in.

“Wait, um, you didn’t give me an answer” Jungkook asks as his forehead leans against yours.

“Yes, Jungkook. Of course, I want to marry you. I want to be your wife for the rest of my life” you say and he slips on the ring.

People always assume that the fairy-tale ends when the couple gets married. But for the two of you, the fairy tale is always going to be on going. It’s going to keep going through every date night, every quiet morning, every small moment with your child, it’s going to be forever going. The love you two have for each other is forever going.

Tag List: @blancflms @nadzzzblog @kookiewhtaee @jksoftiitii @oiseul @elisaaru @coralmusicblaze @tearyjjeonn @moonchild1 @jungkooksseuphoria @cookysstuff @ohyeahjk @bobakkoo @whoa-jo @kooromiwrld @littlelandalp @marvelover3000

[yunarim]

Heyyy hey! I got a strange idea so... I saw you mentioned you're interested in kpop, so I thought if you can write a fic w paper kissing game idols used to play like 4-5 years ago?? lol in case you don't know they're grabbing a piece of paper w their mouths and trying to pass it to one another using their mouth only... i hope i make sense :D how about writing it w your faves?

（✿ᴗ ᴗ）마지막 인사 To My First ❤︎ summary : paper kiss game! (where the paper drops) ❤︎ tags : gn reader, fluff, vdc/sdc mentions (thus book 5 spoilers) ❤︎ chatacters : vil, azul, idia, malleus ❤︎ author's note : in case you have no idea what the paper passing game is about, see this one video with seventeen! also see the end of the post for more ^^

Ah, seriously. What was the point in sitting here when the winner was already announced. You were more than enraged, blood almost boiling in your vessels at how unfair all this was. Seriously, a little childish song, even though it was cute and adorable and all that sweet fluffy rainbow-unicorned stuff — now that, that was considered as something worthy of first place? Ha!

In any case, you watched the out-of-competition part of the event going smoothly, you didn't even blink while Ace and Deuce were hissing like two cats who didn’t get their milk and were giving death stares at the jury section, as if trying to scratch them by their glares. 

It was okay. It was a literal shame, and even if you hadn’t taken part in the competition, you know just how painful it is when your best efforts aren’t paying off. And while you were lamenting over the second place, that awfully catchy song still going on repeat in your mind, you realized that members of the Light Music Club actually made their way to the stage.

“Hey guys! Before we start our performance, let us demonstrate to you a little game we’ve discovered not so long ago!”

You furrowed your brows, blurry memories suddenly popping up in your mind. You recall Cater asking what kind of games were popular in your world and now this… 

“Let us introduce to you a Paper Kiss Game~” Lilia winked, piquing the audience's interest and giving you a stare only you could understand. 

You were seated at Vil’s left and you felt how he bend down to you, leaning closer to your ear and asking whether took you a hand in the matter or not, but you just only tried to reassure him with a wry smile, realizing that now you may actual have your stage debut out of nowhere.

“Participants will be chosen randomly!~ Please log in into the VDC app and click on…”

As Kalim was explaining what to do, you already sighed, realizing your defeat. No way you are not going to take part in their antics when you were the one who told them about this game. As expected, the status in your app was saying you’re the participant. 

“Alright, our dear participants, please come to the stage~” 

You gave Cater a warning glare, but he just laughed it off. There were not so many people, and mentally you were thanking all the Great Sevens at once for standing near familiar people. It would be extremely embarrassing to pass a piece of paper to Neige… Not only embarrassing, maybe you wouldn’t restrain your anger and put his shitty piece of paper to—

Ahem.

“Okay guys, remember if you drop the paper, you should start over from the very first person in a row! Then… let’s start!”

─ ⊹ VIL SCHOENHEIT ♡₊

How smart of Cater was it to make you the person from whom the game starts. 

You had two things in your mind at the very moment: first — to damn never let the paper drop so you won’t ruin Vil’s reputation and at least a pretty decent trustworthy attitude you managed to build somehow, and the second — to do it as quickly as possible.

Vil, stunning as always, shining brighter than any sun, both your world’s and twisted wonderland’s one, was wearing his insanely high heels, so after grabbing a red piece of paper you tugged on his sleeve, making him bend over to you. You opened your mouth just enough for it to successfully grab the paper, and basically plastered it to your lips. 

Vil seemed absolutely unfazed by your not so beautiful behavior and picked up the paper from your lips in an elegant way, then passed it over to the next person, demonstrating the flawless and gorgeous demeanor he always had. You showed him thumbs up, appreciating his work. Maybe they train actors and models to do anything spectacularly well in any situation? 

Suddenly you saw Neige stuttering and stumbling, so you facepalmed at his clumsiness, eagerly grabbing the next piece of the paper from Lilia who stood beside you, seeming especially amused at your reaction.

You thought it would be okay this time too, at least you knew Vil’s gonna save you if anything, but somehow you haven’t considered he was too… swayed by something.

The way your eyes were glimmering with an unfeigned joy got him startled for a mere second. You were clearly having fun, enjoying a peaceful time after so many things happened. Those were the moments you were absolutely beautiful.

He pressed his lips to yours, thinking he caught the paper, but somehow it wasn’t so rough and scratchy as it was during his first attempt. He glared at you, noticing how your cheeks were slowly dusting with a scarlet hue, and you quickly pulled back, avoiding meeting his glance.

“Oh my!~ What a predicament~” 

You thought you heard Lilia encouraging the audience to give their best reactions, people definitely were crying and swearing at you for kissing THE Vil Schoenheit, and it seemed the others were demanding you to continue, but at the very moment it was only you and Vil enjoying your little moment.

“Potato,” you finally looked up at him. “Let’s continue.”

“A-ah, yes!”

You remember almost nothing after winning the game, if there even was a winner at all. You made your way to the backstage, trying to calm down your extremely fastly beating heart, but was startled when someone also came in.

“Potato, I thought you learned something from the lessons I gave another potatoes during our rehearsals. Don’t be embarrassed of yourself. And also…”

He leaned to you, gently caressing your cheek.

“When I suggested we continue I didn’t mean the game.”

─ ⊹ AZUL ASHENGROTTO ♡₊

That was absolutely awful. Not only you had to grab a paper from Vil, you had also pass it over to Azul. 

As for Vil, everything was quite okay. He was an actor, he played in kissing scenes before, it’s like breathing to him, this kind of entertainment was his second skin. The only problem remained was you and Azul right there.

You quickly turned to your ashen-haired friend, slightly tilting your head and apologizing beforehand. 

Little did you know that Azul was going crazy at the spot, a kaleidoscope of different emotions scrolled through him, making it almost unbearable to just stand straight. He was sure the twins were filming him, he noticed Floyd making some sort of a fancam of him (you taught the octatrio this word). 

Vil turned to you, bending over and passing you the paper successfully, so you grabbed Azul’s hand, pulling him closer. His glasses slipped off the bridge of his nose at the sudden movement. He was too preoccupied with trying to actually see how you are holding the paper with your mouth, his vision all blurry and vague, so he realized he lost his concentration. 

Was there any in the first place? He was actually swayed by your assertiveness. Being lovestruck to the point of mistaking your confusion and embarrassment for happiness, glimmering in the corners of your eyes — he was so hopeless. Hopelessly in love with you. 

So he completely forgot he had a game to complete. Well, at least to attempt winning. 

You mumbled something incoherently due to the paper you were still holding with your lips, at least for you it sounded like a perfect interpretation of his name under the conditions you were trapped in, and well, you did sound menacing for a reason. 

Azul finally came to his senses (at least he thought he did) and grabbed your hand in response, leaning closer and deciding to pull off all the luck he got. He couldn’t mistake the paper texture and your lips. Even if he couldn’t see a damn thing, he still had heightened senses. 

Well, extraordinarily heightened senses, it seemed. 

You felt how the paper slipped away, as well as Azul’s glasses falling off completely and landing on the tip of your nose with a dull thud. You muttered through his lips and pulled away quickly. This was absolutely embarrassing and you were sure Azul was going to make you pay off for causing such an unprofitable situation and—

Ah, yeah, you still had a game to restart. 

You saw Vil sighing at you two and grabbing another piece of paper from Lilia’s hands. Even though your cheeks were still hot after the accident kiss, Vil wouldn’t fancy the idea of restarting the game three times in a row, so he somehow made you catch the paper successfully and demanded to do better this time. Now you gently pulled Azul closer, tilting your head, while he made sure his glasses were on their right place, and nearly kissed him, finally passing the paper. You were even astonished at how easily Azul managed after you, not even looking at Idia who was next. 

Meanwhile Floyd somewhere in the crowd was having his fanboy moment and claiming this fancam of Azul will go viral, a total banger. 

─ ⊹ IDIA SHROUD ♡₊

THIS IS THE DISASTER. 

He freaked out instantly on the spot when he got a notification he was that lucky he got included as a participant. He wasn’t even intending on watching the show in person, he was an Ignihyde dorm leader for a good damn reason, why have 4K displays if not using them at all? 

Ortho. 

Of course it’s always his cheerful, proactive brother. Ortho said it would be nice to see his classmates’ performance, and also the whole world is simping for Neige LeBlanche, maybe he could do a collab with Gakemo someday, it was definitely worth witnessing in person!!

He didn’t care about Neige or anything at all, he just wanted to make sure everything was going okay with the techs and displays, his flesh and blood in his comfy room drown in darkness. 

And somehow here he was, standing on the stage next to the extremely popular and illegally charming Ramshackle prefect by his right and the almighty Malleus Draconia at his left. 

It was a nightmare. The worst of them, apparently, as he trembled just by standing near the Prefect. He was surrounded by the two people everyone always spoke of. He, a proud introvert, geek and a shut-in, being sandwiched between the Prefect he kinda had a crush on and Malleus Draconia he was avoiding as a plague. 

You, on the other hand, knew damn well how anxious Idia must be. Not to be greedy about winning the game quickly, but you genuinely cared for Idia, so while Vil was trying to pass the paper to Azul, you pulled up on your toes and reached for Idia’s ear. 

“Just imagine me as anything you’re comfortable with. I hope that would suffice..”

Idia wanted to ramble to you how ridiculous you were sounding, but Azul grabbed your hand, passing you the paper, so you were already preoccupied with another task. 

Okay. Really, alright, he was imagining a cork board instead of you, trying to mentally replace your lips with pins, sticking down the paper notes to the board. Huh, like hell this would work!!

You throw a thumbs-up at him before grabbing his hands and making him bend down to you. To give you the credit, you really did manage to pass the paper over to him, but just for a moment you thought you heard a crackling sound somewhere near you. 

Indeed, when Idia pulled away from you, you saw him… biting the paper through. You didn’t even know whether it was you, completely at the loss of words, or Idia, silently hissing and cursing, who actually lost, but in any case both of you heard Kalim claiming it was cheating. 

NO, PLEASE NOT AGAIN, Idia begged for someone, but here you were, passing over another piece of paper to him. His flickering hair went from a little pinkish hues to more reddish ones, getting far brighter. 

Now it was the wind that took the paper away from your lips. The third time it was you who stumbled on the previous two papers, an unexpected pile of them forming under your feet. The fourth time Idia was going to leave, his hair flaming with an amaranth red, almost spreading a fire hazard all over the place. 

The fifth time though you’ve had enough. 

“Shit, if I’m destined to kiss you right now, then so be it,” Idia watched you in pure horror, glaring at the exit of the stage and thinking when he should start running. “Idia!”

“H-huh!?” he startled, glancing at you quickly and averting his gaze almost instantly after. 

“Can I kiss you!?”

“Y-yes?? WHAT??”

Idia remembered being drugged to his dorm by Ortho and losing the game for the first time in his life. 

But hey, was it a loss though? 

─ ⊹ MALLEUS DRACONIA ♡₊

What the name of the game was again?..

Malleus just stared at you standing at his right, having that little LeBlanche boy whose team won the VDC at his left. Yes, such an unfortunate situation… Maybe Schoenheit should have let you participate. Malleus knew best how pleasant your voice sounds when you’re humming something to yourself only, while cleaning up the garden. Or how nimble and brisk you can be whenever Lilia pops up in front of you, hanging upside down, and you dodge him flawlessly. 

In any case, he was so preoccupied with the thoughts of you he actually skipped the part where he wanted to observe others in order to get the main idea of this game. 

Somehow you weren't nervous about passing the paper over to Malleus. Even if the game was ridiculous, you were enjoying the thought of having Malleus on stage. All eyes on him, and he was so gorgeous and lovely!! 

You knew it was surprising for many people to see the legendary Malleus Draconia in all his glory and magnificence. Even more surprising to see him participating in this game like an ordinary college student. 

When Malleus made his way to the stage, he thought that playing a little games accustomed to human beings would show his other, more gentle side. 

The key word, he only thought. There was no point in taking a guess how this game would end if you weren't the one standing beside him, your absolutely pristine presence calming him down and filling his heart with an indescribable heartwarming feeling. The way you flashed a reassuring smile at him before the game started made him return this smile, causing you to blush. 

And yet something pricked his chest when he saw you touching Idia, almost being really intimate (if grabbing his hands and yelling you two need to finish this quickly and stay thankful you two aren’t passing the paper over to Neige considered as intimacy?..). Were you just kissing at this point? Right in front of him, after all the obviously romantically-linked words you've said?

No, no. You wouldn’t betray his trust and he knows that truly. Then… maybe that was some kind of a strange encouragement between humans, so they feel energized enough to complete the game after? Yes, it seemed this way. He wanted Lilia to explain the rules again better, since he shamelessly skipped the first one time, being busy staring at your cheerful smile. 

Suddenly you turned to him with a paper covering your mouth and tugged on his sleeve, trying to point out that he needs to lean towards you. Why was a piece of paper covering your mouth again?.. Maybe that was some sort of a ritual, like washing hands before eating or something?.. Why would he kiss you with that when it’s so inconvenient?

He gently took off the paper with his gloved fingers, causing everyone to gasp and you to give him an uncomprehending look. Somehow Lilia wasn’t so quick to restart the game and pass the new piece of paper to Vil, who was standing as the first one in a row. 

“Tsunotarou?” You asked, tilting your head, the mention of his nickname causing him to smile at you. 

“I shall grant you with my blessing of encouragement, child of man. Please do well during the game.”

His gloved fingers gently traced to your cheeks, and you jumped at the sudden affection, but remained still, wondering what he would do next. He leaned in, pressing a rather deep kiss on your lips and pulling back after smiling through the kiss. 

“A-ahem, T-tsunotarou, you see…” you stuttered, clenching his clothes in your hands just to stay steady. “That paper… you needed to pass it over to the next student with your mouth without letting it drop.”

“Oh,” he placed a finger on his own lips, seeming rather perplexed at your words. “I assume my blessing isn’t to your liking then?”

“I absolutely loved that!!” You answered almost instantly, not caring about people's jaws dropping. “Good job, I totally feel like winning now!”

And you actually did win. The heart of your little dragon in the first place, of course. 

♡ tag list : @isacoremeow

❤︎ author's note : the caption is the name of the nct dream song ~ omg anon i know this game very well :D thx for requesting i had fun writing it! even tho i had a fever when i was working i believe it turned out good, hope you had fun as well ~ due to the mentioned fever i had no energy left for writing leona's part sry ;; (and maybe revealing my new fave... but i will someday ig)

© yushiiae 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧.

[hugsandchaos]

Okay, so I’m not the biggest fan of the mlp x dp crossovers, but I’m still going to rant about both versions of this very neat idea. And when I say “both versions”, I mean the idea of Danny turning into a pony and the very few fics where he doesn’t.

Idea A

Danny keeping his regular human/ghost form leaves so many unexplored possibilities in my opinion, specifically how he’s introduced. It could be a good ol’ accidental summoning or he could be a new friend of Discord’s. With the first one, it could take place anywhere, which means that we could plop him down in the Everfree Forest, the Crystal Empire, Canterlot, Appleloosa (I think I spelled that right), anywhere! With the second, maybe he was trying to escape the GiW as usual and Discord helped him, or maybe he decided to introduce him to the princesses after it was decided he’d be the king of the Ghost Zone in the future, essentially making him a prince in the meantime. And I can’t stress enough how much I love, love, love this one, but how cool would it be if he had ties to the Everfree Forest because of his existence as a Halfa?!

I’ve always had the idea that a human character would have very small and subtle “ties” to the Everfree because some of the stuff that happens in there happens in our world. Like how when Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack all mentioned that clouds moving, animals taking care of themselves, and plants grown all on their own is unnatural. Knowing this and yet still seeing creatures made of, heavily relying on, or having magic hints that it’s a place that follows some of the laws of our world and some of the rules of their rules, but not quite leaning more towards one of them. Can you see where I’m going with this? Danny’s existence as half dead, half alive, both and neither at the same time is like a more sentient, “living” example of the Everfree Forest! Can you see where my excitement is coming from?!

Idea B

Not exactly as excited about this version as Idea A, but I still love it! I’m going to take this chance to ramble about my own ideas for Tucker and Sam being there, too.

Staying true to the “goth” look she seems to love, I’d love to see her as a bat pony! We’ve already seen what the body outline would look like thanks to Flutterbat, and one of my favorite little details that I want to keep is that her bat wings were twice the size of Pegasus wings. Her coat is obviously black, along with her hair, but her mane and tail would have a pink and/or purple streak. Surprisingly, this new form doesn’t bother her too much because she liked how she looked, but getting used to it was a pain. Unfortunately, this also involved having more sensitive hearing, smell, and eyesight, which gave her more than a couple headaches and sensory issues. No, the fangs aren’t for tearing through flesh, they’re for fruits and veggies. She’d somehow gain the ability to better tell which fruits and veggies are safe for consumption even if they look fine, and even separate the sweetest ones from the rest. I can’t remember much of her, unfortunately, so for now I’ll say her cutie mark is an image of a few vegetables or the recycle mark?

Tucker would be an earth pony, and as a meat lover, he’d have half a meltdown over the fact that he can’t digest it. At least not much at once, or without it being very carefully prepared. Sam laughed, Danny tried to comfort him. Surprisingly, though, they’d come to realize while only meat isn’t the best option for his health, he can apparently digest more than the average pony, and a few of his teeth were slightly more built for this as well! So while his new diet his largely fruits and veggies now, he can still enjoy a few ribs. He’s also considered very intelligent because of his knowledge about handling technology. His cutie mark is an old phone with green wisps circling it.

Finally, Danny. Just like as a human, he has a living form and a ghost form. His living form resembles an earth pony with a tan coat and a black mane and tail, but his ghost form is an alicorn as a symbol of his status as both a halfa and prince of the Ghost Zone. His living form doesn’t have a cutie mark, but his ghost form has a black crown with green flames on his flank. This is a silent hint of how the incident changed his existence. When he’s in his ghost form, the terrifying creatures of the Everfree Forest and pony urban legends recognize his power and back away from him, so he’s starting to use that form a lot more often to keep his friends safe. Now for a couple extra headcanons!

•The whole “terrifying creatures of the Everfree Forest and pony urban legends recognize Danny’s power and back away from him” thing applies to both idea A and idea B, but they’d be more wary of him in idea A because they’ve never seen a human

•With idea B, Applejack might not let Sam into her orchard at first because of the vampire fruit bat incident, but later gets confirmation that she’s not exactly vampiric

•With idea B, Sam seems to be very, very slowly slipping towards a more nocturnal sleep schedule

•In both ideas, they get a bunch of stares from ponies for obvious reasons (in Idea B, it’s because Sam is a bat pony, Tucker eats more meat than most ponies, and Danny either doesn’t have a cutie mark or is in his alicorn form)

•In idea B, Sam and Danny would practice flying at the same time and Tucker would set up a tarp or something underneath

•In idea B, the trio might feel a little stupid for asking questions like how to do magic or fly when they’re almost as big as the mane six, but they’re surprisingly accepting of them asking for help since they’ve told them that they don’t remember having anyone to teach them how to do these things until now (Twilight and Rainbow Dash especially love to each them)

•In idea B, when Twilight casually mentioned having a couple experiments for Danny (because of his two forms), he froze in terror and Tucker immediately jumped in to protect him (Sam wasn’t there), but then she said something like “I’m just going to put a thermometer in your mouth and see if there’s a difference between your forms” and they both calmed down, but now they’re a “little” worried about worse experiments happening to Danny

•In idea B, Sam was also “experimented on”, as in they’d test her senses and discover how they’re better than the average pony’s

[gvtted-ratz]

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Correct Ending

John Doe x M!It/Its!Reader

Last Edited: 27/03/23

TW: blood, horror, stalking

Requested: no

Word Count: 3,031

AO3 LINK -> HERE

Notes: role-reversal AU. reader is the stalker/eldritch-horror being, john doe is a gas station worker stuck in a time loop (tho his looks/odd actions r still the same). it/its used 4 reader/mention of reader having a “human male form/human male face” as well as having “sir”. he/they pronouns used 4 john doe. treat this as having some spoilers (ending 7 basically)+remember of the canon creepiness/horror aspect from the game. if u can’t handle that, this prob aint 4 u so tread with caution/dont read. distorted/glicth text have numbers beside them as they will b put in at the end with each word 2 b read easier if desired/needed.

While people think the man is creepy, you couldn’t help but l̸̩̈́̿͆̔͌́ő̶̗̠͛͊͑̍̿v̵̨͎̈̄̀̚ĕ̵̖̦͔̘͇̑͊̿̌̑̄ [1] him. It didn’t matter that they didn’t shower or seem to understand that his clothes being thrown everywhere in his home wasn’t exactly the best for their mental health. The deteriorating mental health of your beloved truly did help you in a way though. It meant that he’d need someone around and what better person to help them than you? None of those other people in Uncanny Valley can help him like you could. They’re just tiny little humans, lacking anything significant about them. You, on the other hand, can protect your lovely little gas station worker by simply existing. Changing most of your form to anything he may desire is something you keep in mind, watching, together with, seeing what they may or may not like. Of course, some things you do rather wish to keep; a more human male figure seems more appropriate to you at times when you’re with the guy. It had taken a while but after watching how other men looked, you had been able to achieve the appropriate image.

Due to the time loop, it appears that John Doe forgets about you. Every. Single. Time. You’re doing what you can to ensure he chooses the right options. You’ve been trying for so ļ̴̢̹̫̪̙̀͛̈́̓͛o̸̬͔̍͛n̶̜̽͛̾̀̕g̵̨̖̎̇̄͐̈́̇[2]. So why can’t the person just r̵̬͇̓̋e̴̹͐m̵̨̢̈́͝e̶̻̭̔̄m̸̧͚̽͊b̵̯̑̈́ē̴͔r̴̭̙̊[3]? That’s all they have to do. Remember you! It’s all you want! You want to be remembered, for all your trials and errors to be acknowledged! You distort reality for him! You’ve even given him gifts you thought he’d like; he’s accepted them every time but soon enough, those gifts get pushed aside, along with forgotten, when the new day arrives. But today there will be a change! There has to be! You’ve tried your best so you need to make this one count. It’s either the route he chooses leads to the right outcome for you both, or one that leads to one they will surely hate.

You see him on the bus, staring into space. For a human, he’s more uncanny than most. Maybe that’s what brought you to l̷̹͊͘ộ̸̊͐v̴̛̬͈͆̂̈́i̷͎̪̝̾̔̂ṉ̴̱̪̑g̸͙͛̄͌ [4] them. Then again, not seeing anything odd or weird in a place called Uncanny Valley would be wrong. He truly does fit in with the town in a way; the behaviour that is. Their looks give them more of a wild, unhygienic appearance more than anything. So many other humans stay away from the guy because of it, leading to a wide berth on the bus. It works in your favour after all; you possibly can’t go a day without watching the darling thing. To catch your interest out of all the others is an achievement in itself. Oh, they truly should be proud of themself because of that.

Seemingly sensing your staring, the yellowed eyes look towards your glassy ones. Once met, your grin widens tenfold. It seems to nearly split your face in half, showing off way more teeth than a human can possibly have. They blink at you, the black shirt they have on changing its design to an eye with a question mark as the pupil. The lips that never seem to close fully lift just slightly, more in a confused smile than a happy one. You’ll take it though, feeling warmth clouding your brain at his simple grin. You lessen your beaming when he looks away, starting to zone out again by how unfocused their eyes start to look. The warmth starts to edge away now that their attention is no longer on you. You can feel your lips fall into a straight line, feeling empty with that small amount of attention lost.

The bus stops, opening its doors to let off the passengers. John is one of the first to get off, letting you follow him from a distance, having taken the back of the line to do so. They’re heading to the gas station, working another day behind the counter. The long, messy hair of his is easy to spot in the small crowd; not to mention that they, along with a few others, are heading to place. Not many stop by thanks to the reality-shifting you do to try and keep John more or less alone. It makes time drag by slower, plus, you can watch him for longer.

You lurk about, staying hidden among the aisles to let John get comfortable in the beginning of their shift. You don’t want to appear suddenly like you have so many other times. It always seems to lead to the B̵̟͚̝̫̣̹̯̈̿̑͐ ̸̠̟̬͙̍͊́̇͆͜͠͝Ȁ̵̡̰͙͍̱̹̯͆̿ ̸̓̀̋̒̇͜D̷̰̖̥̤̣͈͕͂̒̓̽͌ ̷͉̼̦̒̈́ ̶͈̲̏͐ͅE̵̗̘̺̥̰̠̟͆̅͒̐̔̈́ ̵̙̞̭̪̙́͐͊̿͝N̷̩͋̕ͅ ̸̨͚̯̈́͑̌̀́̾̚D̸͍̩̫̈̈́̋͗̽̕ͅͅ ̷̮̩̋̋̈́͊͋̀Ĩ̸̥͈̙̦͊̅͘̚ ̷̳̱͕̻̜͚̋̊͐͝Ṇ̷̡͓̟̃̆̊̔ͅ ̷̭̬̇̆̈̈́͊G̴̤̒̐̍̈́ ̶̣̺̒̚Ș̸̲̺͇̋̈ [5]. Those were so tiring to deal with, having to revive your love over and over and over and over again. “It’ll be different this time. It’ll be better,” Your voice, though low, sounds disembodied with a static quality. You’ll win his affection this time or simply restart again until he accepts… So many endings have passed, moreover, restarting is getting tiring. You can feel your desperation taking over, leading to your hands shaking.

You grab the first thing you can get your quivering hands on, leading the object to your mouth. A tearing sound echoes in the store as your mouth widens, the skin going from your lips to your ear tearing open to reveal more teeth. The object is placed in your mouth, your jaws clamping down on it, completely as well as utterly crushing the item. You can hear glass shatter and crunch as you eat both the glass as well as pickled quail eggs. The taste combined with the texture of both floods your mouth as you try to get your mind in order. By the time you finish, there’s a puddle of juice on the floor, the jar, metal lid, and pickled eggs all having been eaten. Your hands have stopped shaking so you allow your face to go back to the human male face you’ve constructed, alongside altered, just for John.

With a clearer head, you look around the aisle. Your glassy eyes make eye contact with a horrified mother with her three kids. The children, all ranging from ages four to eight, stare at you with awe mixed with terror. The mother, on the other hand, looks like she’s about to pass out with how much panic seeps out of her. You give them a large, toothy grin, wiggling your fingers mockingly. She herds her kids away, shushing them when they try to protest. None of them will remember this by tomorrow.

Deciding your beloved has had enough time to settle into their shift, you start to approach the counter. No one is at the counter, letting you walk right up and stand before him. He’s staring off again, almost always does so when bored or understimulated. The skin at the edges of your eyes crinkle as you smile, this one not as wide as the one who had given them on the bus nor to the family in the aisle. With no answer, you reach into your pocket, pulling out your closed fist. “Hi.” Your voice, now sounding like it comes from you, carries a cheery but unhinged tone. The yellow eyes you’ve come to adore look at you, now more focused and full of attention.

“Hi,” They blink in surprise at your presence, clearly having missed it until you appeared. “How can I help you, sir?” Your closed fist hovers over the counter, your smile never wavering, as you release your gift.

“For you!” Teeth, some bloodied while others are nearly shiny clean, land on the counter with a clattering sound. John stares at them, his mouth forming a straight line despite never closing all the way. With no answer from him, together with their eyes going unfocused again, you try to smooth it over with more words you deem to be complimentary. “You smell good.” It jolts them back into reality for the moment. You can see his pupils start to expand, nearly swallowing all of the yellow. His shirt even has the eye change, the pupil on it now a heart. You know you haven’t won them over just yet but you have the seed planted in his mind now.

“Uhm… Ok…” His voice shakes, along with his hands as he drags them closer to himself. The black nails they have shine in the light, only adding to their appearance you’re fond of so much. He scoops them in his hand, putting them in the incorrectly-worn jacket’s pocket. You’re not sure if they’re genuinely happy about your gift, or absolutely horrified by the fact that they were just given teeth by a stranger, in their mind that is; you both know each other already if only he remembered you.

“What’s your name?” You lean towards him, hands gripping the edge of the counter so tightly, they can see the strain in your knuckles. The smile he gives you is still small, pupils still enlarged. Quietly, as well as shakily, they point to their name tag.

“That’s definitely one of the names I’ve heard. I’m _̵͙̋̈́-̴̻͖͍̆̆-̵̧̨͆_̸̦̞̊̆-̵̢͗͝_̵̰̇̕-̷̩̭̈́͋_̴͙̺͇̦̅̃  [6] but you can call me [Redacted]!” Your hands are clutched together near your chest as you tell them this, flashing distorted and gorey images in their mind. The smile on his face seems a little more strained now, a spiral appearing on his shirt. Maybe giving them your name confused them. Then again, anyone who isn’t like you will only hear it as garbled glitching. You’re only hoping the more understandable name you’re allowing them to call you is enough.

“Are you doing anything after work?” You decide to try and go for it, hoping that maybe, just maybe he’ll say yes like he’s done a few times before. Besides, he said “No” in the previous day. So this time, now that you’re more normal, they should say yes.

“No… I’m not doing anything. Why do you ask?” He seems genuinely interested this time, leaving that fuzzy warmth to worm its way into your head. An odd gurgling noise escapes you, making their brows furrow in confusion as you suddenly leave. Behind you, just before you exist, you can hear a small “It was cute but in a creepy, stalkerish way… And a little weird… A me type of weird.” escape him. Their comments don’t sound disgusted however, they sound more like you’ve successfully gotten their curiosity paired with their attention.

It’s a few hours later that John leaves the gas station. You can feel your entire being shake with excitement, feeling the hope that his choices will lead to the correct ending; no more time-loops or reality-shifting needed. You’re quiet as you creep closer and closer to the oblivious person in front of you. You can hear their mumblings about “finally getting off work” combined with “can’t wait to sleep.”

“Hi,” You’re practically hovering behind him, staring with large pupils. Your hands are shaking as you clutch them near your stomach. You refrain from touching him in case you scare him away. An entire body shudder is an answer you receive; just faintly you can hear them swallow. “Oh… My bad. I didn’t think I’d frighten you so bad…” You give him an apologetic smile, despite not feeling sorry at all. Seeing any reaction from them only feeds your infatuation. Before he can even respond, you’re leaning in more, invading his space. “Can I come home with you? Please? We can.. We can get to know each other better! Have a relationship!” You’re coming on strong, you know you are, but you can barely hold in your desperation.

Your last sentence seems to surprise them, seeing that spiral on their shirt appear again. Maybe should reword it… “Like- Like a great friendship! Best friends!” Your hands are shaking so badly, forcing you to dig them into your gut to hide it. That doesn’t hide how your voice shakes as you trip over your words. They lick their lips, glancing away from you for a second to process your words.

“Alright… Yeah. Yeah, you can come over-” His pupils are large again, a barely-there flush slowly crawling up his neck and towards his face. Their words are cut off when the bus arrives. As soon as those eyes leave to look at the bus pulling up, you dart away. You have to make it to his apartment as fast as possible. You have to get there before they can. Ȳ̸̼̹̉̃͘Ǒ̴̯͐͛͠U̸͖̩̜͛ ̸̟̱̙͔͊H̵̑̕͜͝A̸͇̱̺͗͘V̷̨͖̗̗͒E̵̢͖̕͜ ̶̳̭̲̓T̵̮͔͖̗̈́̌O̵̙̹̹͈͌͒̓.̴̩̝̟̭͋̓ [7]

--------------------------------------------

Unease, curiosity, and excitement waft to you from the entrance of John’s apartment. You made it just before they had, vibrating with a feeling of fear mixed with passion. Slowly, he carefully enters his apartment. The trash, including the ungodly smell of everything in the apartment, would usually turn people away but turning off your smell to some things, or even rewiring your own brain can make it smell like it’s a new sort of heavenly desert, helps you enjoy John’s scent and their unhygienic apartment.

“Anyone home..? [Redacted]? Anyone?” Hearing your name from those lips makes a wheezing sound from the build-up of emotions. The sound you’ve let escape you allows John to locate you easily in his living room. There’s a nest of both unwashed clothings paired with blankets made on the sofa.

“Hello, John!” You can feel your mouth salivate. You’re so close. So, so close. You can smell their anger, their shock. You’re confused by it but try to push on. He said you could come over! They shouldn’t be mad at you for doing just that! “It’s unfair, you know? So, very unfair!” You cry out, feeling your eyes start to water. The stress from so many time-loops, so many rejections, and constantly having to alter your looks taking its toll. “You’ve NEVER given me a chance! Never! Not ONCE.” The static garbles some words while enhancing others. “I did everything right! I did everything I thought you’d like! That you’d LOVE.” You see the person before you sweating slightly, brows furrowed in concentration. Maybe he to, is stressed from all these loops and finally feeling its effects like you. “I can be anything you want! Anything you like!” The more normal form you have shifts to a more distorted, uncanny one. Neither is your true form but the most humanoid you’ve ever been; all of it has been for them. So much energy. So much time. It’s all been put into what he wants or what they may find even remotely attractive.

Finally, you settle on the more uncanny form. You’re shaking with your stress. Sweat covers you layers, forcing your clothes to stick to your heated skin. The anxiety is creeping into your voice the longer John is silent. Your tears are so close to spilling over as you choke out your desperate question. “What’s wrong with me…? Don’t you love me?”

The silence seems to stretch on. John’s own stress seems to melt away as realization dawns on them. He blinks a few times, staring at you as everything falls into place. Maybe it’s your shaking. Or it could be the fact that you just poured your entire being into your rant but a smile makes its way onto their face. It reminds you of your own in a way. There are too many teeth, pupils dilated, together with the shaking of their entire being. “I do love you…” Their voice shakes with this declaration, breathing getting heavier. You can feel your pupils dilate and warmth flood your entire body. “Of course, I love you… But not when you pretend to be something else.” Be yourself? But that isn’t what John wants… No, it is. He’s saying it right now so they must mean it. “You don’t have to alter your appearance or your personality for me… It’ll all be fake then.” His eyes are wide, smile just as big as excitement courses through them. How could you not notice how unhinged he was? They have to be just like you! You had just pushed too fast, that was it! Made them lose interest too fast! “I remember the past loops… All of them. You’ve been trying for weeks, haven’t you?”

“Every day. I’ve been looping this every single day… Hoping! Hoping you’d say yes!” Your tears are finally rolling down your cheeks. You’re getting choked up, wanting the right answer so badly. Wanting to end the endless Ạ̶̏̐ͅ ̷̟̅̆͌̄G̷͖͌̋̓ͅ ̷̼̬̯̦̌̈́͘͠O̸̤͍͙͑́̈ͅ ̶̟͕̒̽͛N̷̡͙͉̾͆̇ ̸̧̻̮͋̆̄Ÿ̸̢̰̪́̽̕ [8] you’ve had to endure to get John to just yearn for you as you do him.

“We're just going to keep meeting like this, aren't we? It's just some endless loop…” There’s a pause as they finally make a decision. “So… We may as well see what happens then.” You feel your legs give out, the stress exploding. You grab your shirt close to your chest, sobbing in happiness on your knees. A genuine smile spreads across your face. Your entire being shakes as you feel the time loop ends. Finally. You finally achieved the Correct Ending.

A hand settles on your shoulder as John crouches down in front of you. It’s tight, grounding even. Your sobs don’t stop even when they sit in front of you. When the hand leaves, you look at him. His grin is shaking, alongside his body. His eyes are glassy with unshed tears. You don’t know why but you don’t care. You latch onto the man in front of you, gasping for air but also to get as much of his smell as you can. Your nails pierce his skin, making the wounds bleed, with how tight you hold onto them. This doesn’t bother them though as he latches onto you just like you’ve done. Their nails sinking into your own skin brings no blood. Only indents are left behind. Gentle static noises surround you both as your sobbing subsides. It’s more of a gentle buzzing as you let your form slump into John’s, letting it mould itself to his. No more time-loops or needing to shift reality to get John to love you anymore. Not when you finally have it.

KEYS:

[1] love

[2] long

[3] remember

[4] loving

[5] BAD ENDINGS

[6] _--_-_-_ 

[7] YOU HAVE TO.

[8] AGONY

[zanniscaramouche]

No one can claim that I'm fast, but hey! I finally had a moment to sit down and find some fics for a lovely anon who wandered into my inbox looking for classical musician!larry. A few of these are a little bit of a stretch, but hopefully there's something here you enjoy! You'll see little blue hearts along with a lil comment from me on those I have read (admittedly not that many, oops) This is definitely an AU I'd love to see more fic for! It's possible there's more out there, alas it doesn't seem to be commonly tagged. Make sure to tag your fics folks! It makes filtering for things like this so much easier! 💙

🎼 the school of extraordinary lovers // stylinsoncity @stylinsoncity - 191k "We keep telling the other, I love you and I love you, and we do, though we both know where the knives are." - Laura Van Prooyen

harry is a third-year witch and violinist at Laitswold, the only magical academy in the UK, with dreams of taking on the world, and hopefully breaking the centuries-old curse on his family while he's at it. he does not dream of facing off against his childhood rival and duet partner, but louis is back in town after six years abroad, so that's exactly what happens.

🎼 Love Is A Rebellious Bird // 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews - 134k AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

Don't hum Bolero.

💙 zannithinks: one of those 'classics' that many love! I really enjoyed this fic, and as someone who hears Bolero every year at a local festival I think of this fic often

🎼 Saving Symphony Hall // HelloAmHere @helloamhere - 124k “I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

💙 zannithinks: I looooove this one! A well developed world and lovable OC's, this is definitely the first fic I think of when I think Larry and Classical Music

🎼 Where Words Fail, Music Speaks // Larry_you_know @larryyouknow - 45k Louis is a world class violinist. He’s one year over forty, living his best life in New York. One day, he comes to a small town in Connecticut where he inherited a house from his late father. The town looks nice and its people welcome him warmly. The problem is that Louis never knew his father and he doesn’t intend to change anything about it - his father can stuff his last will up his treacherous ass. In a strange coincidence, Louis meets town troubadour Harry, who seems wonderful to him just right until he reveals that Louis’ father was like a dad to him.

Even though Louis tries to convince himself that it shouldn’t - it hurts.

🎼 Until You Remember // Throwthemflowers - 21k Talented London pianist Louis Tomlinson moves to a small coastal town to escape the elites of his job and the mundanity of his life. Through the music of Debussy he finds a charming, wonderful friend in Harry Styles, the fiancé of the town's mayor. Louis thinks his pining is in vain until he discovers that all may not be as it seems….

🎼 And I'll Be Here When Only the Silence Remains // louisniall @louisniaii - 19k The one where Louis is a top notch mute violinist and Harry might just be the person he trusts most

🎼 Back to the Sign, and Play Through the End // tomlinsunshine - 17k Louis is a globally renowned pianist; Harry is the worst page turner this world has ever known.

🎼 Take more of my space, why don't you? // otfuckingp - 10k Of course, the universe is not on Louis’ side, nor on the side of his mental health. Just as he starts to think they might get away with this empty seat -- yes, they. He and Instrument Man are in this together, a united front against the forces of any more people-- one more person steps onto the plane. He bypasses the first fifteen rows without so much as a falter, but the fact that he slows around 17 gives Louis pause. There aren’t many empty seats in this section... Surely not. Surely the universe wouldn’t be so cruel as to do this to him.

And then there’s another body landing in the seat next to Instrument Man. Well, “landing” might be too polite. Crashing, is more like it. Within the first ten seconds, he’s elbowed instrument Man in the side, dropped something on the floor, and nearly tripped a stewardess with the exuberant flailing of his legs. All in all, completely shattering the tentative silence in row 21 DEF. Fuck.//

Harry and Louis meet on a plane. Louis is not impressed, until he is.

🎼 What is simple in the moonlight, never really is. // judgementdays @judgementdays - 5k And then they're talking, like they always do on late nights. They talk about the future, about the cute girl who was checking Harry out at Tesco's, about the cute boy who asked for Louis' number the other day. They mostly end up talking about their auditions for the school of their dreams, though.

or

Louis plays piano and Harry plays guitar and they're both trying to get into Juilliard but feelings sort of happen.

🎼 Play Me Something Sweet // nonsensedarling @absolutenonse - 4k “Hey, I’ve got an idea,” Louis says. Harry just looks at him and lifts an eyebrow in silent question. “How about if you pretend I’m your cello as you try it out, like we used to?” Or Harry's good at a lot of instruments, but his favorite one to play is Louis.

💙 zannithinks: this one is spicey!!!!

🎼 And I've got something missing tonight. // whisperedbrave @louistomlindaughter - 2k That night, much like many others, he finishes his dinner and falls asleep to the sound of his neighbor and his piano.

-

or the one where Harry's upstairs neighbor plays the piano every night. one night he stops and Harry can't sleep.

[callsign-bunnie]

Hi, sorry I wasn't more specific, haha. I'd love a GazAlex Restaurant AU oneshot (I mean I'd love your Restaurant AU in a fic but you already have so much to write so I don't want to overwhelm you). You could do whatever you want but I love the cook/ server dynamic so a focus on that would be nice. Thank you so much, and no pressure :)

Me: Man, I wonder how that oneshot I wrote for Gazalex did, I feel like it hardly got any notes It: *didn't get any notes because it was still in my drafts* Me: :O Anyway... I'm sorry, I don't even know how this happened

--

Price was clearly concerned that Gaz was rushing him out, which Gaz would admit had him slightly panicky, but he didn’t say anything, just gently nudging Price at the door. “Kid, I can stay and help you close.”

“No, no, it’s fine! Go, go spend time with Nik!” Gaz insisted, shaking his head. “I’ll be okay, I promise! I don’t need you to stay, I’ve closed up the restaurant many times by now!”

Price frowned but then shook his head, seeming to finally relent. “Alright… alright, I believe you. But… if you need my help-”

“Just call, I got it.” Gaz answered, relaxing and smiling. “It’s just closing, Rudy does it by himself all of the time.”

“Rudy is both not my adopted son, and also could organize heaven if he tried.” Price snorted, shaking his head. “Can I have my coat, at least?” He gestured to the host’s table, where the coat was sitting, and Gaz was quick to grab it and hand it over, smiling innocently as Price raised an eyebrow.

He was suspicious, Gaz knew, but Gaz had no plans to spill anything. Eventually, he finally sighed and said goodbye, before he walked out and went to his car. As soon as he drove off, Gaz rushed to the back, pushing the door in. “He’s gone!” He called.

“Finally.” Gaz startled at Alex’s voice coming from behind him, not from the kitchens. He turned around, blushing dark at seeing Alex had changed clothes to a white button down and jeans. He was also holding a single rose, likely from the gas station, but Gaz didn’t care at all.

Ghost, Alejandro, and Reyes had all gotten the restaurant cleaned while Price was in the office counting cash, and Gaz could see warm lighting in a corner of the restaurant. “You clean up well.” He teased, since he had just seen Alex in his chef’s smock, covered in stains. 

“Our apartment is practically next door. I… may have snuck out to shower.” Alex grinned, sheepishly, and then he was holding out the rose and tugging Gaz to where the source of the warm lighting was coming from. Tables had been moved so a blanket was on the ground with LED candles and food.

Gaz couldn’t help just melting, moving to sit on the blanket with Alex. “You’re so sweet… You spoil me.”

“As I should, it’s exactly what you deserve. I just… wish I could give you more.” Alex sighed as he settled in, passing Gaz food and then filling a wine glass for him. Gaz knew that Laswell had probably already balanced the books to account for the losses, so Price wouldn’t notice. Nothing illegal, she’d likely just clock it that she’d taken stuff home, since everyone did. 

Alex’s statement made Gaz frown and he shook his head. “You don’t need to do more. Just being with you is enough.” Gaz promised as he accepted food and wine. “Plus, you almost jumped a customer, that’s more than enough.”

Alex laughed, softly. “Thank you, baby. He shouldn’t have cussed at my boyfriend.”

Gaz melted, remembering the sight. It had certainly had him feeling a few things. Alex had been in the process of clocking in, just close enough to hear when the customer had started to very loudly berate and curse at Gaz. Alex had been there much faster than possible, not so gently telling the customer to lower his fucking voice. 

Are we going to have a problem?

I’m not clocked in, yet, so we can have whatever problem you want to have. Care to step outside?

Gaz shivered as he remembered, looking away from Alex. Alex drove him crazy in the best ways, though it always had him embarrassed. “You shouldn’t try to fight customers.” He lightly scolded. 

Alex laughed, again, and only shrugged. “Maybe I shouldn’t. But… I will continue to fight the ones that are mean to you.”

“I will always be grateful.” Gaz smiled, shyly, at Alex before sipping his wine and finally starting to eat. Alex was a very good chef, he definitely knew his way around a kitchen, and being back of house had definitely rubbed off on him. Of course, so were Alejandro and Ghost. Alejandro had pulled out five course meals to impress Rodolfo, and Ghost would, apparently, get high and bored and find the most complicated to cook dishes.

However, Alex knew his way around Gaz’s tastes, specifically, and that was far better than a five course meal or complicated dishes. He never had to worry that he’d be sensory adverse to anything Alex cooked, nor did he have to worry about disliking it. Alex knew him, deeply well, and Gaz adored it.

So, he wasn’t shocked that he loved the food, enjoying sauteed green vegetables, chicken fritta, with a light layer of shredded parmesan. It was simple food, but Gaz had a taste for simple foods. Fancy foods had only ever left him disappointed.

He was the person who preferred plain cheese pizzas, hell he’d asked donut shops to hold the glaze a few times. 

“Do you like the food?” Alex asked, and Gaz didn’t hesitate to answer that he did, yelping when he was suddenly yanked to be half laying in Alex’s lap, still sitting up enough to eat. Alex only laughed when Gaz scolded him, eating his own food, but Gaz wasn’t actually upset, just getting comfortable and settling in to eat.

They ate in silence for a bit before Alex took their dishes, setting them to the side, and then revealing his laptop, where he put on a movie they both enjoyed, sipping their wine. 

They’d not been together too long, and Gaz was still kicking himself for not catching on that Alex was being genuine in his flirting, before. Though… Farah had had to tell Alex and her wife, Malika, had had to tell Gaz. Both had basically told them to stop being stupid and fuck, already, or they’d do something drastic. 

He’d just always thought Alex was being friendly since… well, he flirted with Alejandro and Ghost. Though… looking back, Alejandro flirted with everyone, and it was clear both were just taking the piss out of Ghost, who usually told them to go fuck themselves. 

“At the risk of sounding very dorky, you are incredibly sexy when you come to the back and bring orders.” Alex spoke, suddenly, and Gaz found himself blushing very dark. “Today, when you were pissed at that table, I’ve never been so tempted to lay you out than I was when you slammed your tray into the counter.”

Gaz winced, since he’d been fairly pissed. 35 items. Yes. Thirty five. 8 meals, 16 drinks, 8 desserts, and 3 appetizers. This wasn’t the worst, however, they’d needed something every five seconds. To the point that Gaz had had to give up tables to Rudy and Farah, and they’d stayed for three fucking hours and had four kids all under five.

They were incredibly lucky they’d tipped 40% and had generally been nice, but he was done at the end of it. At some point, he’d needed something remade, and the four line cooks hadn’t been paying attention when he tried to call it back to them. 

Alejandro and Ghost had been fucking around with something and Alex and Reyes were discussing something to do with a college class they shared. He’d yelled it three times, and had received no response, so eventually he’d slammed his tray as hard as possible into the counter, earning a very startled stare from all four, to which he’d gritted out that he needed something remade and if he didn’t come back in ten minutes to it remade and hot on the line, he was going to break the tray over someone’s head. 

They’d had it remade in seven.

“Pay attention to me, next time.” Gaz shrugged, snuggling further into Alex, and then blushing dark. “The restaurant was busy, and your coworkers were there. I doubt you would have actually ‘laid me out’.”

“Eh, fuck them.” Alex chuckled, teasingly kissing Gaz’s neck, though Gaz whined and swatted him off. He was never one for sex after a long shift, though Alex never seemed to be, either, since he just chuckled and turned to rubbing his thumb over Gaz’s neck. “I might have to consider how to piss you off, more.”

“It will not earn you anything other than a very pissed off boyfriend.” Gaz snorted, closing his eyes and relaxing. “Possibly dealing with my dad. I’ll tell him.”

“I will not be finding a way to piss you off.” 

“That’s what I thought.” Gaz chuckled, shaking his head a little. “God, I love you.”

“I love you more.” Alex chuckled, and Gaz felt his hand lifted before lips were pressing against his knuckles. “If I was more poetic, I think I would have the words to say how much. But… I think I will settle with saying that however much you love me, I promise, I love you more.”

Gaz’s skin flushed and he found himself just melting into Alex. “If you spend more time with Alejandro, I’m sure you’ll become poetic.”

Alex snorted. “I live with him, I doubt I could physically spend more time with him. But… maybe he’s why I can’t be. He sucks all of the poeticness out of the room. That’s why he’s so poetic and Ghost and I essentially word vomit.”

“Reyes is plenty poetic.” Gaz pointed out, chuckling. “But… I like how you talk. I like that I don’t have to work out what you’re saying. It’s nice to know what you mean. I don’t need to figure out what on earth you mean by ‘your body would glow the brightest next to the largest stars’ or some other rubbish. ‘You’re sexy’ leaves no room for interpretation.”

“Does ‘you’re beautiful?’” Alex asked, his tone coy. “What about ‘you’re the most gorgeous person I’ve ever laid eyes on’?”

“Now you’re laying it on thick,” Gaz teased. “I doubt I’m the most gorgeous.”

“Undeniably so.” Alex hummed. “You are exactly what I imagine Aphrodite would look like if she were to appear before me, right now.”

“I thought you said you weren’t poetic.” Gaz snorted, shaking his head, before finally opening his eyes to look up at Alex.

Alex grinned down at him, and then he was leaning down to kiss Gaz, softly. “I’m not poetic. I state facts. If a Greek goddess of love were to magically appear, she’d look like you to me.”

Gaz wasn’t sure he could possibly blush anymore, but Alex had always loved to push that limit. The only limit Gaz had that Alex had ever tried or succeeded to push. “Eros… Aphrodite… It doesn’t matter, they’d all look like you, I think. Though… you’re exactly my type. Tall, blonde… dorky.”

“Ouch,” Alex laughed, shaking his head. “I’m being sweet and you’re calling me dorky.”

Gaz chuckled, but just continued. “Strong, muscular. Handsome and sweet.”

“I like those, better.”

Gaz shook his head, settling back into Alex. He liked these stolen moments with him. He liked sneaking around, it… made everything more exciting. Gaz had never done anything even remotely bad, before, and he knew Price would eventually accept their relationship, hell he probably already knew, but it was fun to pretend. It was fun to have late night dates hidden away from everyone. 

One day, Gaz would just sack up and tell Price, but… for now, he was having fun. Alex appeared to be, as well, since he’d put a lot of effort into hidden dates, into sneaking around. Making excuses why they needed to leave together, sneaking off on their lunch breaks to fuck in Alex’s busted pick up truck. 

He felt like a stupid teenager, again, getting to have dumbass experiences he hadn’t gotten to before. Alex knew how to make everything almost magical and fun, everything with him was exciting. 

So, he sat back, and reveled in the soft wonder of another of these moments, enjoying the feeling of Alex’s hands on his body, the soft sound of the movie playing nearby, and the safety of knowing they would be fine, were they to actually be found out. It was balancing on a rope which was hardly a few feet above a net, exhilarating with no real threat. Though… that’s what every moment with Alex felt like. 

Growing up, that’s what Alex had felt like, as well. Both he and Farah had always been more than willing to fight anyone who was a threat to Gaz or even Roach. Both were there to keep the assholes at bay, to keep the bullies in their place. 

They’d had a little fort, too, in Gaz’s backyard. A treehouse, which was called “Camp Refuge” out of a book they’d read together. It was shittily built, but it had been theirs and it had been safe. Nothing, not even Gaz’s anxiety, could touch him in there, and that was what Alex was, his personal and mobile Camp Refuge. 

God, he loved him so much.

--

I have other drafts that I apparently never posted, so expect those, too, I've just decided to edit them a little

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AU:

@snootlestheangel @the-blue-substitute @ghostslittlegf

[battle-facility-zine]

Contributor Application Tips!

Hello, Challengers! With a little less than a day away before our Contributor Applications open on February 20th at 4:00PM EST we the mods here at In Pursuit of Victory! felt that it would be helpful to provide a list of tips to keep in mind before applying for those who are new to zines. Without further ado, here they are!

Double check that all of your links are viewable before submitting! What do we mean by viewable? Well, it's exactly how it sounds—anyone who clicks the link must be able to see it without requesting permission. This extends not only to personalized Google Drive portfolios/samples but also to Archive of Our Own links as well; if your fics are currently set to the "for logged-in users only" setting then we cannot review your applications.

As per our guidelines, please make sure that you have properly tagged each of your fic submissions! Tagging is not just an essential part of fanfiction writing in general but also a courtesy to the mods who are reviewing your application. For those submitting AO3 links, the tags on the fic itself should suffice—and we would also appreciate additional notes in the body of your application too—but if you plan to submit excerpts via Google Drive please make sure to list the tags at the top of each sample document.

Put your best foot forward, or rather in this case, make sure to put your best pieces first! We generally recommend making a Google Drive folder, especially for those interested in applying for the Artist Roles, with each piece numbered in an order that allows you to lead with your best pieces. We also accept any other portfolio website that you may want to submit instead, just make sure you link to the exact page you mean the mods to land on!

Make sure to only put pieces that you think are your best or represent your current style! While it might seem tempting to pad out your portfolio with as many pieces as possible, this might actually hurt the overall quality of it. It's better to submit five of your absolute greatest hits than ten samples of mixed quality.

Remember the most important thing is that you have tried your best and that a rejection isn't a reflection of your worth as an artist or a writer! It is an incredibly brave thing to put yourself and your art out there and that is far more important than the result you may get in the process of doing so.

We the mods are so thankful and appreciative to all of the support the zine has received thus far and we are so excited to move onto this next phase of the project with you all. Good luck, to every Challenger out there!

[republiccommando1138]

Here's my @portal-secret-santa prompt for @deathishauntedbyhumans, they requested a scene with cores, mainly Factventure, so I did a lil something of them being stuck in the place where you find all the corrupted cores right before the Wheatley boss fight. I tried to avoid references to fanon cores like Virgil as much as I could, by their request, though occasionally they slipped in.

Fic Text Below

It was no secret that adventures came in many forms, and in many phases. Sometimes you were running as fast as you could from a volcano or tornado, and everything was about getting away as fast as possible. Sometimes you were fighting hordes of enemies at once, having to figure out their weakness and be ready to exploit it, all in a matter of seconds. Sometimes you were sneaking into a carefully guarded enemy fortress, depending entirely on your stealth, knowing full well that any slip up would mean you were a goner. 

Other times, however paradoxical it seemed, adventure meant being stuck in one place for a long time, with no way in sight to pass it. A dragon’s dungeon, a prison camp behind enemy lines, even something mundane like camping in a strange forest, waiting for the sun to return, or in the front room of a castle, waiting to meet a powerful king you would want to ally with. Or in this case, being stuck in a container full of other cores with no way of getting out. 

The self proclaimed adventure sphere had seen worse. But worse wasn’t quite as boring. A good song would sometimes pass the time, but it wasn’t easy to pull inspiration from anywhere for lyrics.

“Nananana nAAAAAA, and then another explosion, NANANA, riding the shockwave to VICTORYYYYYY!”

Rick sighed, and looked over at his companion. “Ayo, pinkie, how long’s it been?”

The aptly named pink-eyed testing sphere sputtered a bit. “Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve.”

“Ehhh, that’s whatcha said last time. When’s the last time you went and got yerself looked at?”

“The fact sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.”

Rick rolled his optic. The fact sphere, or Craig, as he sometimes liked to be called, had been a good companion for a while now. Rick could never quite remember how they had started hanging around each other, but as long as he could remember, wherever he was, “Pinkie” would follow.

That, however,  did not mean their adventures were without conflict. “Pinkie, do you even remember how we got here?”

“The Intelligence Dampening Sphere, several hours after assuming control of the facility, restarted the explosives manufacturing wing, at first accidentally while trying to silence the alert announcer protocol. Upon realizing what he had done, he then began using parts of cores, both deactivated and live, to make more bombs, so as to increase total production.”

“Exactly. Now, I happen to be lucky, cause as much as I love explodin’, I’m more valuable to ol’ blue-eye as a consultant than as a single lil’ wad o’ napalm.”

“He will most likely kill you, violently.”

Rick looked over, or at least as best he could given his position. “Ain’t that the point of an adventure? Overcomin’ the odds, fightin’ towards victory. ‘Sides, I can keep ya from bein’ turned into a bomb – why else do you think he brought you here?”

“The fact sphere is the most handsome sphere.”

Rick sighed. “Run a temperature check for me, will ya, pinkie?”

“WARNING: Sphere temperature reaching ninety- Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava.”

“Exactly. When Doc Virgil was sayin’ you was hot as Rigel, he wasn’t exactly complimentin’ ya. Only I can use that there line –  got me a trademark on it.”

The moment he had said the word “Rigel”, a yellow-eyed core immediately sprung to action - that action being to spin its optic rapidly.

“Rigel! Rigel Rigel… blue star! Big blue star! …Goooooonna go supernova! Big bright star go boom! Wanna go to Rigel. Wanna see big boom star.”

“Sigh… yeah, that. You bein’ all overheated n whatnot makes you a perfect catalyst for a big bomb. And as much as I might enjoy that, I need ya alive so you can help me do the math for the next adventure course I build. Lucky for you, I know how to get us both outta this. ‘Member when we got Avery out of the whole mess with them turrets?”

“The adventure sphere had placed the gardening sphere, his then-romantic partner, into a custom built ‘adventure course’, which left her on the ground and under fire from turrets after a panel malfunction. Her injuries would require a full hull replacement afterwards.” 

Rick nodded, “And how’d I get ‘er out of it?”

“The adventure sphere initially attempted to negotiate with the turrets as they were firing on the gardening sphere. This attempt was unsuccessful, as the turrets could not hear over the sound of their own gunfire. After several minutes, the fact sphere found and hit the deactivation switch.”

“Exac- wait, what?” Rick tried his best to remember. Now that he thought about it, Craig was right. He had tried to negotiate, but it was the fact sphere that had actually shut the turrets down. In his defense, he had better memories of what came next, when his romantic partner had decided to end things then and there.

“Alright, fine, bad example, but point is, I’m what keeps you and Spaceball here both nine times outta ten.” Remember that time I saved you from bein’ launched into acid?

“ERROR, ERROR, ERROR: File not found.”

The space sphere, seemingly unconcerned with the argument in question, had shifted his focus to planets. “Go to Jupiter, go to Jupiter, see all the moons! Bababa bap babap baba. Become the smallest moon of Jupiter.”

The adventure sphere rolled his eye. “Ayo Spaceball. Say one useful thing. One. I dare you. I will give you a hundred dollars if you say one thing remotely applicable to anything at all.” 

Before he could respond with facts about neutron stars, however, Rick heard footsteps and what sounded like the one voice every core could hear from everywhere in the facility. Only this time, it was muffled, coming from what sounded like a small speaker.

“Corrupted cores, we’re in luck!” The footsteps grew louder, showing something Rick could never have imagined was still around. A human. The voice continued. “You find a way to stun him, I’ll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer.”

The human nodded, made a right turn, and disappeared. Rick turned his focus back to his other companion. “Check it out pinkie, we got us another adventure! Good thing I’m here to save the day.”

The fact sphere was unfazed. “The adventure sphere is a blowhard and a coward.”

Rick was taken aback. “I… c’mon pinkie, you n’ me both know that ain’t true.”

“The adventure sphere, despite his insistence that he has no fears, cannot admit to his friends or partners that he depends on them or cares for them in any way. This traps him into a perpetual cycle of the cores he cares about abandoning him, which he justifies by insisting that they lack his adventuresome spirit.”

“C’mon pinkie, what are you even talki-”

“Examples include the gardening sphere, the culinary sphere, the public relations sphere, and the fact sphere.”

“I… I mean I don’t…” Rick was shocked more than anything to hear his companion say that. Not only because it was the same thing several of his exes always said to him, but also because it was perhaps the first time he had ever thought, or been made to think, about Craig as someone he cared about. 

But now that he was forced to face it… he did care about Craig. Every now and then, when Craig was occupied, either from being repaired or working on the little documentary series he had been making, Rick was stuck on his own. If that had come across to Craig, it had been despite his personality, not because of it.

And as fun as it was to be on his own against every threat the world could throw at him, it wasn’t quite as fun if he couldn’t talk about what he enjoyed with someone who had been there as well. Craig was not really a singer, so they had never done a duet of any adventure songs, but he had been there to listen to them longer than anyone else. He’d even critiqued them from time to time.

It had taken him forever, but now he had to admit it.

“I… I care a lot about ya, pinkie. You’re like, my best friend and stuff. And… I dunno, I like havin’ ya by my side when I’m on an adventure.”

The fact sphere sputtered a bit. “To make a photocopier, simply photocopy a mirror.”

In the past, Rick had ignored his companion’s little tidbits whenever they were unsolicited. But for the first time, it felt good to hear them. 

“We uh… we make a good duo, the two of us. I got me the adventuresome spirit, and you got yourself the brains.”

“It is incorrectly noted that deer are usually hunted for their antlers or their meat. They are instead hunted for their gearboxes, which can also be used to power motorcycles.”

Rick chuckled. Nervously, he looked away from Craig, hoping to find the right way to phrase his next question. “Shoot, whaddaya say… when we get us outta here, maybe we should like… hit the encore club again. Just the two of us this time. Whatcha… whatcha say?”

“Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere.”

Rick’s handles moved, and his CPU experienced an extra burst of energy. “Ha, I’ll take that as a yes!”

The Space core, meanwhile, had continued his ramblings. “Ba ba ba babababa ba, wanna go to Saturn, go see Saturn. Saturn’s got rings. Big rings. Put a ring on it.” 

Rick chuckled. “Heh, maybe we oughta put a ring on it, huh pinkie?”

“Cores do not have fingers.”

[eyitzme]

ˢᵗᵘᵈⁱᵉˢ ;; ᵉⁿᵈᵉⁿᵐⁱⁿ ⁽ᵈʳᵈᵗ⁾

Summary: Eden Tobisa needs help studying for a test coming up, so she goes to her girlfriend, Min Jeung, for help. Word Count: 746 A/N: I'm so excited for DRDT to be back, so here's a little Edenmin fic from July! I don't have it in me to do the DRDT 10 day thing, especially since school started, but we're all waiting for the next episode, so yay for that! Let's see whose culprit theory was right! Don't forget your daily clicks!

we tried.

Studying was one of Eden Tobisa’s worst nightmares . There was so much she had to review, and so much stuff she had to do, and so much to relearn! Why did she have to be tested on it? She was the Ultimate Clockmaker, and she loved making clocks! Why did she have to learn things not related to making clocks?

Sometimes, she tried to make a study habit similar to the one her girlfriend, Min Jeung, had, but she always broke it in less than a day. If only she had one now that a big test was coming up...

There was only one person she could go to help to, so after classes ended for the day, Eden found Min and asked, “Min, please help me study for my upcoming test.”

As the Ultimate Student, Min was someone who knew everything about everything. Eden was always impressed by how much she knew—and that knowledge was probably one of the first things that attracted her to her prior to dating. Because of her Ultimate talent, she could help their classmates with studying when they needed to—but that was only if she was willing to help. If she was feeling helpful today, she could help her, right?

Min seemed to think about it for a second before smiling slightly. “Sure. How about we meet up in the library tomorrow after classes?”

“That works great! Thank you, Min! I love you so much!” She wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s waist and kissed her cheek.

Despite Min’s bangs covering half her face, a red tint was still easily seen even as she turned her head away. “You don’t have to say that last part...”

Eden smiled. She really did love her girlfriend!

. . .

How many hours have passed since Eden and Min were stuck in this continuous loop? One? Two? Three? 10? 1,000,000? No, it couldn’t be that long, but it was lasting too long...

Eden and Min were in the library as planned. They were sitting at a table by themselves in a quiet spot relatively farther away from everyone else. Eden had brought the materials that had everything she needed to study, and Min brought things to help her study. It included stuff like fancy paper and shiny pens!

“You wouldn’t like a lot of my studying tricks,” Min had told Eden after tried out one of the pens. “They’re not colourful enough for you.”

“I can work without colour too,” Eden had responded.

“But it’s more fun to study with the colours.”

There was no point denying it. “Yeah, it is!”

“Keep your voice down. We’re in a library.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry.”

Min had a pretty little smile on her face.

But good moments couldn’t last long, and soon, everything went horribly . Like always with studying, there were so many words. Too many words. Too many things to memorize. Too many things to know. Was she really expected to memorize all of it? There was no way that was possible, right? But if it wasn’t, why was she studying them right now? She really was expected to remember all of it. Oh, no...

After what felt like an eternity of attempts to study, Min leaned back in her chair and sighed. After a few seconds, she looked at Min and said, “You’re failing this test. I love you, Eden, but there’s nothing we can do about it now.”

“Huh? B-But...”

She took her hand and squeezed it, her typical lack of body warmth surrounding her gloved hand. “We did our best.”

“But Min...!” Eden groaned, putting her head on the table. She let Min keep holding her hand as her other placed itself over her head.

All that time spent at the library... It was all worthless. Eden had no choice but to accept her fate. Min was the one telling her this, after all. When it came to tests, she knew best.

“We can watch a movie in my dorm when you finish your test,” Min suggested. “Do you want snacks? I can get you snacks.”

She adjusted her head to get a better look at her. “Can we bake cookies...?”

“Whatever you want.”

“Let’s bake cookies. Please.”

“We will.”

Eden sighed and closed her eyes. At least when everything else went horribly, she had that to look forward to. It wasn’t much, but spending time with Min should be able to take her mind off her test. Hopefully.

A/N: Fun Fact: This was inspired by a Twitter/X post saying they were in the library and overheard a boy telling his girlfriend what Min told Eden. It fit Edemin, so I wrote it! It’s shorter than I thought it would be, but it’s pretty cute!

[gallavichfanficlibrary]

Any long fics that are must read thats not E rated. I feel like I stick mainly to the E rating because Its shameless I mean the shows pretty explicit but I wanna give other fics a go

Hi! Sorry, this ask was in our inbox for an embarrassingly long time. We thought it was the easiest ask, but the hardest part was to stop ourselves from outting too many fics on the list :D Must read is a very relative thing and there are tons of other amazing fics that deserve attention, but this is what we decided on :) 

Our Stubborn Love - In which, after years of being separated by more than just prison walls, Ian and Mickey try to find their way back to each other.

None the wiser - The real time accounts of Ian visiting Mickey's dingy diner and slowly becoming his friend.

Intro to Quantum Dating - College AU. Ian’s determined to make the most of college life. He thinks that means finding a stable guy to settle down with but he can’t stop thinking about his RA, Mickey.

Help Me (Tear down My Reason) Detective Mickey is investigating a case involving Ian as the prime suspect.

broad-shouldered beasts - Six years after Mickey goes to jail, he's released on parole. He does his best to build a "normal" life and a relationship with his son while juggling the scars of his past.

While We're Making Other (People's) Plans - Post S10. Mickey gets roped into being a wedding planner.

Life on Mars - Remember when a drunken Ned stayed over the Gallaghers house in S3 and got kicked out before morning for groping Lip? What if, instead, he ended up staying a while and wacky hijinks ensued?

sideways - Post S5. Ian attempts to make amends. Mickey tries to stay strong.

these days, life is better - Ian realizes Mickey is the most romantic guy on Earth.

lemme show you the ropes - Post S10. Family dynamics shift after the wedding. Mickey's not sure he's ready. Not sure he even knows what family is.

cut ties with all the lies - Canon divergent set between 3x06 and 3x07.

Rookie Mistakes - Hockey AU. Ian Gallagher is the right wing to Mickey's left defenseman, so it's not even that weird when Mickey makes a point to learn everything he possibly can about the kid. Really.

Twenty-One -  Mickey never had A Master Plan. His only plan in the last decade has been Find Ian. Instead, he's basically raised a kid, accidentally started a slow burning revolution, and failed everyone he actually cares about.

The Luck You Got - Post S4 canon re-write.

Heartstrings High School AU where Senior Ian finally meets his best friends brother who recently returned to finish school.

Lost Lullabies - Mickey Milkovich, former child star turned action movie star, runs into his old co-star, Ian Gallagher, out on the street in the middle of a winter night. When Mickey takes him in, he doesn't realize that Ian has the power to completely turn his new life upside down.

looked like a teenage runaway - Ian is seventeen when he moves to the South Side. Lip tells him to stay away from the wrong people, but no one remembers to warn him not to fall in love with the neighborhood thug.

[andiwriteordie]

The end of the year is near! Give a shoutout to your favorite blogs and tag them to spread positivity before the year ends!

oh my god can i just slap half of byler tumblr onto here? probably not which is Dumb bc there are so many wonderful people in this community whom i am sending all my love and virtual hugs and tissues to (sorry i made you cry this year).

anyways umm category 5 emotional event incoming:

@astrobei my suni astrobei, my dear beloved, sweet unofficial little sister. you are so talented. so smart. so funny. so kind. and just one of the best people to grace this website. i love how grounded you are, how you make people feel so at ease to talk to you, how humble you are for being one of The Byler Writers Ever, how everybody just is so drawn to you because you are genuine and kind and supportive always. the byler community is so lucky to have you in it, but more importantly (sorry guys this is about me <3), i'm lucky to have you in my life bc you're amazing!!! ilysm!!!!

@wiseatom thea wiseatom, my sweet thea mouse with her bindle oh my GOD, where do i even begin? thea, truly you are one of the absolute best people here, and there is something to be said about how much you love your friends and how caring and gracious and wonderful you are. not to mention you might just be the funniest person i know, like pls i cannot count how many times you've made me laugh. also. i am still NOT OVER i'm caught up in you and i am frothing at the mouth waiting for exes fic because i know it's gonna wreck me in the best way possible, and i just think you're the bestest person ever that's it! <3 ily!!!!

@bookinit02 HAVENNNNNNNNNN. oh my god, you were one of my first friends here, and i remember being so so like nervous and thinking "i hope she doesn't think i'm weird or like bothering her by talking to her!" but i am SO GLAD we became friends because you are just literally one of my dearest friends here, and even if we don't talk super often, i am so so grateful for you and for how funny and kind and thoughtful you are!!! your fics kill me every time. shed scene you will always be famous. duffer brothers get out of the way, just let haven bookinit write the damn show already.

@messrsbyler nic? aka my personal pain in the ass? the demon on my shoulder? ugh god if i say anything nice about you, i feel like i'm going to be sentencing myself to 7 more years in hell with you. can't believe god decided "let's ruin the world and send andi into it," then got bored and said, "let's ruin it some more and send nic into it" a few days later. ok fine i'm done being not nice, stg don't make me regret this. nic, your brain holy shit. the way you understand characters (MIKE) and think of things to share with this community? dear god we're all suffering (in the best way) for it. not to mention i guess you're a nice friend. supportive and stuff. really nice. funny even if you annoy me. stuff like that. can't believe we decided to go feral over atla and now we're stuck in hell together.

@livsmessydoodles LIV LIV LIV MY SUNSHINE SWEET BELOVED LIV!!!!! oh my god, you are the best. literally so talented and so kind and so funny and so encouraging and also just so badass? like ok i'm not on twt anymore (rip to that hellhole) but the way you would so easily fire back at those people who tried to attack you asg jdle l HELP? but then like. you are also just the sweetest and friendliest person ever, and i??? i'm obsessed with you. your art makes me so emotional, and i cry ok. also thanks for putting up with me kicking your door down with sad byler thoughts. love you so so much.

@kidovna bhavna. ok. words cannot describe how much i adore you. you are literally one of the most talented people i have ever met in my life, so much so that i gush to my irl friends and family about your artwork and how cool i think you are. but more than that, you are truly just one of the most encouraging and most humble and one of the kindest people in our little byler fandom! i love how i constantly see you cheering others on and how i see you working with others and putting things together that make the community so excited (spider-will my beloved, thank you and every person who made this possible). your art never fails to make me smile and feel things, and i am sooooo lucky and grateful i get to call you my dear friend!

@elekinetic this is my official petition to put ella elekinetic in charge of stranger things 5. because hello. screenwriting. holy shit? holy shit. holyyyyy shit. ella, you are truly one of the most talented people i know, and usually, i read incredibly quickly because that's my default, but when i read your scripts i always take them so slow. i am like holding my breath in anticipation, feeling every single emotion, and i swear to you it's like i'm watching the show. and then on top of that you're just? one of the nicest people ever? literally i'm obsessed with you. thanks for coming to my tedtalk on why ella is the best.

@strangeswift abby abby abby abby!!!!! my stranger things x taylor swift partner in crime, you are THE BEST. god one of the highlights of the last few weeks of this year has been getting to know you because you're just such a joy to be around and to talk to. you have THE BEST takes on byler and on taylor swift, and i love how unabashedly nerdy i can be about this with you. also, i constantly see you on the tag just encouraging other people within this community, and look, i think that's really just such a special thing and is a testament to what an amazing person you are.

@toystoryfan TOY OH MY GOD. petition to make toy The Byler of the year please? because there is nobody i see lifting people up, making people smile, and brightening others' days like toy does. you are one of the most thoughtful and kind people i know. there is just a warmth and positivity to you that is SO wonderful, and it never fails to make me smile. i am hereby naming you sunshine incarnate and naming myself sunshine protector bc if anyone ever is mean to you, i'll end them.

@eightieslesbian MADDYYYYYYY. okay maddy, literally like i said with abby, one of the highlights of the last couple weeks of this year has been getting to chat with you and getting to know you!!! you are literally one of the sweetest people ever and also HELLO GIFSETS? THE GIFSET MAKER? OKAY. YEAH. THE COOLEST. plus our love for merlin has been resurrected (unlike arthur pendragon oof), and i love that for us. you always brighten my day whenever i see you around the tag, and i'm SO GLAD WE'RE FRIENDS <3

@smoosnoom MOON!!!!! a byler god among humans. the quality of fics that you put out is just absolutely outstanding? like i swear you don't miss, and i so appreciate how much thought and love and intention you put into your writing!!! literally top tier writing. and on top of that, you're incredibly sweet and so positive, so big win for the byler community that we have moon in it!!

@rotisserie5107 RORI!!!!!! rori oh my god, it's you and toy i swear. first off, you never fail to make me giggle when i see your tags or your comments because i swear you have the funniest commentary. rori comments are some of my favorite comments. i love how easygoing and friendly and funny you are and how easily you just vibe with everyone here? you're also SUCH an incredibly supportive and kind person, which makes this fandom an even better place. i return to work this week and i will be listening to ethel cain soon, so i will return to you with thoughts and feelings. 🫡

@wibble-wobbegong WIBBLE. ok i'm glad this ask came around bc i have been meaning to just stumble over into your asks and say this, but i'll do it here. wibble, first off, you're SO incredibly smart and do SUCH a wonderful job at analyzing the show and all its nuances. like bless you and your ministry. but second off, more than that (and not that the show and the fandom isn't important, but look there's also more to life than stranger things lmao), i can say without a doubt that you are truly one of the kindest people in the byler community. you always come across as so humble and so welcoming and so kind, which i think is often lacking (because it is the internet lmao), so it's always such a breath of fresh air to see you on my dash! also legit one of the funniest people ever ok?!!

god okay. that was so many people, and i could go on and on and on (and i have half a mind to just reblog this and add more people to it) because there are so so so so many people not on this list that i could gush about... but i'm hungry and probably need to go eat something since i skipped dinner last night. so that's it, thanks for making my 2022 brighter!!!