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c-jay-s-text-posts-only · 1 year

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A Hairy Eulogy

Written with permission from @n6918

The next afternoon, Jaune was wandering around the Academy. He and Team RWBY had left the EverAfter the evening before and arrived just as the sun set.

When they were finally able to reach Shade, Jaune was amazed to see how packed it was. So many people from all the other kingdoms had come.

On one hand, many of the locals were struggling to be around those from Atlas, Vale, and Mistral - tensions between them and the Vecchians were rather high, especially after the war.

But on the other hand, he was glad so many people had gotten Ruby's message and taken it seriously; even Saphron and Terra came with Adrian.

He had gotten an earful from her since he hadn't told the full truth, but it warmed his heart to see his family again, and he promised to keep them out of harm's way.

As he wandered, he noticed the doors to one of the big rooms had been shut. He remembered seeing these ones open yesterday.

'Hello?' He wondered, 'What do we got over here?'

Jaune put his ear to the door, and heard what he could only describe as a wedding march.

'Can people get married at the academies?' He didn't know that until now.

Jaune pushed it open slightly, just enough to see inside. What he saw left him very perplexed.

It was dark inside, save for a spotlight aimed at a podium near the front of the room. Team RWBY were there, as well as Ren, Nora, Oscar, and Emerald. Weiss's sister, brother, and mother were with them too, and so was their butler.

Everyone faced away from the entrance, and so didn't see that Jaune had found them.

"Wha-" he wanted to ask.

Weiss stepped up to the podium, and everyone sat down.

"Dearly beloved." She began grandly, "My Friends. Family. And Ruby."

"Whu- HEY!" Ruby pouted.

Everyone laughed. Weiss hid a giggle behind her dainty hand.

"Oh, come on!" Ruby stamped the ground from her seat,

"Right, right, excuse me." Weiss recovered, "That was very mean of me, and I'm sorry, I won't do it again- moving on!"

"Not funny, Bro." Ruby pushed her lips out.

"We are gathered here this afternoon," Continued Weiss, "Ahem, in the sight of the Gods . . . And the enhanced hearing of our fun-loving-four-eared-friend, Blake-"

"PFFT- shit!" Blake covered her mouth and turned away.

Yang threw her head back to laugh and fell off the bench.

"Ooh, look at me, aren't I being funny?" Weiss sounded amused,

"Get on it with it already!" Nora hollered,

"Okay-okay! Okay." Weiss cleared her throat, "We are gathered here today, on this, most dreadful occasion. To mourn the absolute loss of our Dear friend, Jaune Arc's beard."

Jaune accidentally banged his head against the door.

"The fuck?" He stumbled in and carefully shut the door behind him.

Somehow, no one had noticed. Yang's mouth fell open and her eyebrows lowered as she got off the floor.

"Whu- dude." She took her seat and her eyelids lowered too, "Is this seriously what you dragged us all here for?"

"Yes." Weiss didn't even hesitate,

"Oh- Weiss, honestly." Winter looked disappointed, "I was meant to have a meeting with the Ace-Ops this afternoon, I cleared my schedule for you."

"I- I think our little Snowflake has something important to say about this." Klein interjected kindly, his eyes turned from brown to yellow, "Go on, my dear. What about losing this Jaune's beard has you so upset?"

"Thank you Klein." Weiss smiled at him, "as I was saying-"

"Uh, hold-up!" Interrupted Ruby, "Weiss, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"What do you mean?" Weiss raised an eyebrow,

"Well, like," Ruby tried to find the words, "Is this really something we need to cry about?"

"I still don't follow." Weiss shook her head,

"Dude, it's a frikken beard!" Yang found the words quite easily, "It's not like we need to have a ceremony for it!"

'. . . Thank you?' Jaune wasn't sure how to feel,

"Again, you seriously dragged us here to talk about that?" Yang put her hands on her hips,

"Well, how couldn't I?" Weiss threw her arms up, "I needed to talk to someone about this! Preferably a group of people. I mean, it's a completely, criminally rotten shame he doesn't have it anymore!"

"And that wolf tail too." Blake purred quietly, wiping her nose with a loud sniff,

"You see?" Weiss pointed to her teammate, "She understands!"

"Wait-a-moment, now I'm confused." Whitely raised his hand, "Were you friends with some one named Jaune, or were you friends with his beard?"

"Eughhh . . ." Winter shivered in her seat, "Whitley, please. Don't talk like that."

"Why not?" Whitely was genuinely puzzled,

"The picture it paints isn't one I'm interested in seeing." Winter didn't miss a beat,

"I beg your pardon?" Whitely still didn't understand, "I just want to know who we're holding this funeral for . . . And if I should feel sorry for, um, whomever we're talking about."

"Why is that important?" Winter blushed and wrinkled her nose,

"Well, I'd feel quite offended if someone mourned something so superficial about me." Whitely reasoned, "It'd be like if we held a ceremony for your hair before you dyed it white."

"You dye your hair?" Nora leaned over to see.

Winter glared at her little brother.

'No one was supposed to know.' She thought.

"I'd like to know whether we should do this for your father." Remarked Willow, "I think I prefer the idea of celebrating his mustache rather than the man himself."

The two considered.

"It is what he deserves at the moment." Whitely conceded,

"I like the sound of that as well, Mother." Winter nodded, then she turned back to the podium, "By the way, which one is Jaune again?"

Jaune's stared and gaped. He couldn't tell if Winter was being sarcastic or if she really didn't know, but regardless, he didn't like that at all.

'I'm so glad the first time I broke you a twenty was also the last time I ever broke you a twenty.' He thought grumpily, 'I worked with you for six months, and you don't even know my name? You literally ditched me in the Central Location like three days ago!'

Suddenly.

"BARK-BARK-WOOF-WOOF-LOOK-AT-HIM!" Nora did her best impression of an excited chihuahua, "HE'S SO HANDSOME AND COOL HERE!!

By now, Weiss had brought up a projected image of The Rusted Knight's true face. Jaune slapped his thigh, he was shocked but mostly confused.

'Who took that and when?!' He wanted to shout.

The picture Weiss used wasn't very flattering. It showed a very frantic Jaune, with his hand on Juniper's snout. His hair looked good, and it captured his beard nicely, but he had been a total mess there.

The look in his eyes did nothing to help.

That this was even happening made no sense.

Where was team SSSN when you needed time to bond with the bros over things we all understood?

"Thanks to Ruby," Weiss was still oblivious to Jaune being there, "the Visage has permanently been made immortal. And you have my eternal gratitude."

All eyes, except for Blake, turned to Ruby, who didn't look the least bit ashamed.

"My beastly bestie glowed up so good!" Ruby insisted, "Everyone deserves to know it! Look at him! LOOK AT HOW GOOD HE LOOKS!"

Blake hadn't taken her eyes off the picture; she didn't need a second telling. She was practically drooling, but interestingly, Yang wasn't very upset about that.

"Well said, I concur." Weiss nodded.

And the others murmured their agreement.

"What's he putting his hand on there?" Emerald tilted her head, "Is that a deer or like an elk, or something?"

"Oh, it's so cute." Oscar smiled,

"Look at those beautiful eyes!" Added Willow,

"That was Juniper." Explained Weiss, "The Rusted Knight's faithful jackalope."

"I WANNA RIDE THE BUNNY!" Nora shouted suddenly,

"Phrasing . . ." Ren sighed and clapped his forehead,

"As far as this creature is concerned," Put-in Winter, "head-pats and ear-scritchies are of the highest order."

"Wait, the who?" Whitely stuck his pinky in his ear and wiggled it out with a pop, "I can't have heard that right. Who's jacks-a-lot did you say-?"

"You heard me correctly, Whitely." Said Weiss, "Juniper is a jackalope, and she belonged to the Rusted Knight."

She smirked broadly.

"Whose hand is on her snout in the picture." She added.

"Wait, what?" Ren perked up,

"Our friend Jaune is, in fact," Weiss said proudly, "The Rusted Knight from the beloved children's story: The Girl Who Fell Through The World."

Everyone but Team RWBY reacted.

"No . . ." Emerald gaped, "You're lying."

"But-!" Winter looked like she might lose her mind, "But the Rusted Knight was an older man! I thought you said this Jaune was a friend of yours from Beacon?!"

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!!" Nora was thrilled, her eyes sparkled like polished gemstones, "I KNEW I HAD A REASON FOR CALLING HIM FEARLESS LEADER!! AND EVERYBODY DOUBTED ME!"

"But how?" Ren was more impressed, "That story was written almost two hundred years ago."

"Wait, that story was real?" Weiss knew she had Oscar's and Ozpin's full attention now,

"Indeed," She said, "The Girl Who Fell Through The World is, as it turns out, a true story. But certain events were either written out or altered to tell a much better one for children."

The others all wanted to know more, but Weiss quickly hushed them.

"As I'm sure this picture clearly shows," She said grandly, "Jaune's beard truly was a beautiful thing. The edges were a bit crooked, and the corners were somewhat unkempt, but it was thick~ and full~."

Jaune furrowed his brow.

'Am I hearing this right?' He was sure he couldn't be.

"The strands of grey mixed in with his blonde hair," Weiss seemed lost in her own little world now, "like veins of silver lost amid a field of gold, forever twirled and twined like clouds in the early morning sky."

Still looking at the picture, the others appraised his look, like critics at an unveiling. Although, none of them could remember a time when the sky appeared gold.

"And lest I dare myself to neglect," Weiss added quickly, "the way it shaped his~ beautiful face~."

Again, the others collectively agreed.

'Wait a sec, my beautiful face?' Jaune couldn't believe it, '. . . This woman is on drugs.'

"To summarize for those of you who are lost in my explanation, because I know that's possible now." Weiss paused impressively, "Jaune's beard was a hot, sexy thing, and it deserved its own article and three-page-spread in a Reader's Wives magazine."

"Why do you know what those are?" Ren was smirking.

"By the Gods . . ." But Weiss hadn't noticed, "Just looking at it had me weak in the knees and positively dripping~! I'm so sure that if I'd taken my panties off and gagged Yang with them, I could've shut her up for once."

"Ew." Ruby grimaced.

"PFFFFFT!" Blake palmed her face and tried not to laugh,

"Dude, I dare you to try that." Yang didn't think it was funny, "I dare ya, I just dare ya!"

Whitely had clamped his hands over his ears.

"I DON'T NEED TO HEAR MY SISTER TALKING LIKE THIS!" He nearly shouted.

Winter and Willow started weeping. Though for very different reasons.

"I can't believe my sister would speak in such a manner!" She gasped and hiccupped, "It's- it's . . . It's undignified! She used to be so precious!!"

"My darling girl is growing up!" Willow dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief, "I'm so proud of you my dear!"

Klein just stared blankly and his eyes turned pink. He wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry. And when he decided to do anything, he promptly fainted.

Whitely caught him just in time, Ren and Oscar gave him a hand too, and they laid Klein down on a free bench.

"In closing," Weiss finished, putting the picture away, "I wish to say this. Fare thee well, oh glorious beard and tail! You shall be sorely missed-"

The spotlight went out, and darkness filled the room.

"Agh!" Shrieked Ruby, "I'm blind!"

Winter and Ren readied their weapons.

"Who's there?!" Demanded Weiss, "How dare you interrupt-"

"Okay, I've heard just about enough." Jaune's voice boomed from the back of the room.

The main lights turned back on.

Weiss saw Jaune and screamed for a second before calming down.

"Oh, hi Jaune!" She tried, desperate to save face, "I- um . . . How are you doing?"

"Well enough to know that I could have a three-page-spread in Dazzle." Jaune smirked.

The colour drained from Weiss's face, which Yang, Blake, and Ruby thought looked hilarious. They didn't think her skin could get any lighter.

Dazzle was a popular Health and fitness magazine, and it often showcased some of the best, most physically attractive people on Remnant.

Yang mentioned once that Weiss sometimes read them, but only when she needed . . . Inspiration.

"Oh." Weiss anxiously bit her lip, "Um, I see . . . Uhm . . . Wh- we- huhhh . . "

She took a deep breath and bit the bullet.

"How much of that . . ." She asked, "how much of that did you hear?"

Jaune was still smirking.

"I came in at around the 'Dearly beloved' bit." He answered.

Weiss's pupils dilated.

"Ah- . . . Ha . . ." Was all she could say.

Jaune's smirk became a smile.

"I'm not upset, just so you know." He told her.

"Ohhhh . . ." Weiss buried her face in her hands, "Gods, I've made such a fool of myself . . ."

"If nothing else, I just think it's funny." Jaune crossed his arms and cocked an eyebrow, "I didn't know I affected you like that."

"I thought you said you didn't think you had an affect at all!" Called Nora,

"I do now, apparently!" Jaune called back,

"Please stopppp." Weiss begged, raising her head, "Look, I'm sorry. I mean it, I am-!"

"Hey."

Jaune put his thumb on her chin, tilting her head up to look her in the eye. Weiss stopped at once.

"I forgive you." He said simply.

And for the third time since they'd met up again, Jaune have her a hug. Weiss's strength returned, and she threw her arms around him, squeezing tightly.

Everyone cooed as they watched.

"But you know," He reminded her, " I could always just grow my beard out again-"

Weiss jerked back in his arms.

"YES!" She didn't even hesitate and blushed when she realised what she'd done, "Uh- ahem! Please. Yes. Please. Please do."

Jaune wheezed and laughed.

“YOOOOOOOOOO-!!” Ruby, Yang, and Emerald laughed too, none of them could believe their ears.

"Okay, okay." Jaune recovered, silencing the crowd, "I'll grow my beard out again."

"EEEEEEEEEEE!" Weiss balled her hands into fists and jittered excitedly on the spot.

Blake was excited, too, and was bouncing in her seat with glee. Once again, Yang, surprisingly, didn't seem to mind. She just smiled.

"But if we want to do this right . . ." Now Jaune bit his lip, "I gotta ask you something."

He dropped down on one knee and took Weiss's hand in his.

Everyone gasped.

Was this happening?

"Weiss Seraphim Winona Schnee." Jaune proposed, "Will you do me the honor . . . of signing a prenup with me?"

The mood died at once. Strangely, Ren was the only one doing his very best not to laugh out loud.

"What?!" All the girls except for Weiss shouted,

"Wh-. Ah- eh- m, what." Weiss fumbled,

"There's always a catch." Winter sighed, shaking her head, "And Seraphim is my middle name!"

"Lousy blood-sucker." Muttered Willow,

"I'm surprised you know what that is." Realised Ruby.

For those who don't know, a prenup, or prenuptial is an agreement made between two people before marriage. It establishes either the husband's or wife's rights to property and support in the event of divorce or death.

Somehow, it rubbed the girls the wrong way, knowing Jaune would want one. Ruby, and Yang especially. They both knew there was no escaping death; they had lost their mother after all.

What they didn't like was the idea of planning for a separation.

Something about that felt . . . Underhanded.

"Listen, Momma raised a smart boy." Jaune liked to pretend he was, "If we really wanna do this, then I think we both deserve a little security. Don't you think?"

Now, Weiss was a practical woman, and she agreed that security was important. She pursed her lips together.

"Ahhhhugh fine," she sighed reluctantly, then thought carefully and clicked her tongue, "how about . . . Ten-thousand lien a month for you to stay by my side, that fair?"

"Well, I was thinking of- you whaaAATT??" Jaune stared at her in utter disbelief,

"What?" Weiss was surprised,

"You- you're kidding me, right?" Jaune recovered with a shake of his head, "ten-thousand?"

"What? What's wrong with that??" Weiss was very confused, "Is it not enough-"

"Weiss, are you trying to buy me or marry me?" He quickly stopped her,

"Ah-" Weiss paused,

"Ah-" Ren, Blake, and Yang paused,

"Ah-" Willow, Winter, and Whitley inhaled sharply through their teeth,

"Ooh . . ." Ruby winced, "Yeahhhh, you- you wouldn't have to pay him to do that . . ."

Weiss felt very ashamed of herself. She must have sounded a lot like her father just then. Throughout her entire speech, in fact.

Jaune's mouth morphed into a teasing smile and Weiss saw it.

"But-" She tried, "But you said-"

"I was joking," Jaune soothed her, "I don't really want a prenup. Are you THAT serious?"

By now, Weiss's face had turned incredibly pink. Any pinker, and she might pass out.

Yang leaned over to Blake.

"It's weird seeing him tease people like this." She whispered.

"Mm-hm." Blake agreed.

"Well . . ." Weiss tried again, "I . . . We've both done a lot of growing since we met at Beacon."

"Well, yeah . . ." Jaune nodded, sheepish.

"And . . . I can see now, with the benefit of foresight . . . And . . . hindsight, I suppose . . ." Weiss admitted, "that I'd be quite happy to share a future with you."

"Foresight and hindsight?" Jaune cocked an eyebrow again.

Weiss was about to speak again, but her thoughts were cut short, however, as a loud voice broke through the building tension.

"Oh, NOW you like him." Nora wasn't impressed.

Weiss jumped.

"Well?" Nora leaned in expectantly, pinching her fingers together and shaking her hand, "Speak-a da Basic! Do you like Jaune-Jaune for Jaune-Jaune, or because you know how sexy he's gonna be when he's your mom's age?"

"A-And- and what if I do?" She tried not to look embarrassed, "I'm grown up enough to admit when I'm wrong. Or- when I have been."

"Ah- excuse me," Willow raised her hand, "I'm not nearly that old."

No one argued that.

Nora put her hands on her hips and shook her head.

"Listen, Weissy, if you didn't like his goofball-hero era, then you don't deserve him as a full-blown DILF." She proclaimed, as if it were ancient wisdom, "I don't care if you don't think you're marrying him for the beard or not, ya gots ta earn the rights to it."

"Nora . . ." Jaune couldn't be angry,

"Look, I'mma be honest," Nora said, turning to him, "You know I've always thought you were hot, but if the chips were down and we didn't have Ren, I'd've totally gone out with you."

Everyone stared at Ren, who nodded.

"It was mutual." He said plainly,

". . . Seriously?" Jaune was touched,

"With or without the beard." Nora smiled, "You're still our Jaune."

Behind everyone, Oscar was just confused.

"Wait-wait-wait, I still don't get it." He scratched his head, "What does the beard have to do with it?"

He came from a certain part of Mistral where beards were considered hard on the eyes, especially if they weren't trimmed properly.

Emerald gave him a pitying look and patted his cheek like an over-concerned aunt.

"Eh, I'll tell you about it when you're older, sweetie." She promised.

Oscar blushed. He wasn't sure how to feel about being called 'sweetie' by Emerald of all people.

Jaune, meanwhile, was blushing too and had looked away.

"Daaaaammnn." He fidgeted, "You got me twirlin' my hair and-"

Jaune reached up, and remembered.

"Oh yeah . . ." He wrinkled his forehead, "The haircut."

Everyone laughed again, even Jaune. Looking out at the sea of smiling faces, from friends both old and new, he felt happy for the first time in years.

It was great to be back to his old self again.

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juanarc-thethird · 2 years

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I'm Going To Be A What?!!!

Jaune: *Drinking a cup of tea while looking at a sunset* What a beautiful day.

Ruby: Hey Jaune!

Jaune: Yes Ruby?

Ruby: I have to tell you something important.

Jaune: What is it? *Drinks his tea*

Ruby: Well...

Ruby: You're going to be a dad!

Jaune: *Chokes* Ack-ack. What??!!!!

Yang: Jaune...

Jaune: Yang, I swear it wasn't my idea! Please do not kill me!

Yang: Of course I'm not going to kill you. After all...

Yang: ...you are the father of our child.

Jaune: HUH?!!!!

Weiss: Jaune, I have to talk to you.

Jaune: Weiss?! If it's about Ruby and Yang, I swear I don't know how it happened!

Weiss: What? I didn't come here to talk to you about that.

Jaune: Seriously? Then for what?

Weiss: I want to talk about this.

Weiss: I hope you are ready to take responsibility, dad.

Jaune: But we never-!!!

Blake: Sorry Jaune but I have to talk to you.

Jaune: I'm sorry, Blake, but right now is not a good time. I'm going to be a dad with three different women!!!

Blake: Four

Jaune: Excuse me?

Blake: You're going to dad with four different women.

Jaune: What are you-? Oh no, don't tell me that...

Blake: Yep...

Blake: You're going to be dad.

Jaune: What the fuck?!!! What the hell is going on?!!

Winter: What's going on here?!!

Weiss: *Happy* Winter!

Winter: Hello Weiss, can you tell me what's going on?

Weiss: Well, we're talking to the future father of our children.

Winter: Father? *Looks around* Jaune?!

Jaune: I can explain!

Winter: It is not necessary, after all I came to talk to you about the same subject.

Jaune: What do you mean?

Winter: Jaune, you are going to be a father.

Jaune: How??!!!

Ruby: Well, when a man and a woman love each other too much they decide-

Jaune: I KNOW THAT!!!

Yang: Jeez, Daddy is a little grumpy

Jaune: Shut up!! I don't understand, how can I be a dad with all of you?!!

Winter: Well-

*KABOOM*

Penny: Salutations!!!

Ruby: Penny!!

Penny: Oh hi friend Ruby. Have you seen Jaune by any chance?

Blake: You are standing on him.

Penny: Huh? *Looks down*

Jaune: *crush* You are to heavy

Penny: *Moves away* I'm sorry.

Jaune: It's fine. *Gets up* Why are you looking for me?

Penny: *Smiling* Yes, I have great news! You're going to be a daddy!!

Jaune: Wait a minute?! Do you at least know what sex is?!!!

Penny: Of course. Sex is when the man inserts his pen-

Jaune: OK! I get it, you know about it!

Emerald: *Ahem*

They all turn to see Emerald.

Emerald: I didn't want to interrupt you guys, but I think this is the best time to say this. Jaune....

Emerald: I guess we weren't very careful.

Ruby: You slept with the enemy?!!!!

Jaune: Of course not!!!

Emerald: *Sad* So the night you spent with me was nothing special?

Penny: *Shock* Jaune!

Yang: Oh, that's not cool Jaune, not cool at all.

Jaune: I really don't know how this happened!

Weiss: Don't worry Emerald, we support you.

Winter: We make sure that our Jaune takes responsibility for the baby.

Jaune: But girls-!

*Another KABOOM*

Cinder: JAUNE!!!

Jaune: Oh shit!!

Cinder: *Traps Jaune in a ring of fire* I won't let you get away this time!!

Jaune: Help!! She wants to kill me!!!

Cinder: kill you? I don't want to kill you. I want you to take responsibility!!!

Jaune: Responsibility for what??!!!

Cinder: For this....

Weiss: You fucked Cinder??!!!

Blake: That's hot~

Ruby: Jaune, how could you?!!

Jaune: For the last time, I don't know!!!

Cinder: I hope you're ready for what's to come, daddy.

Jaune: I need to get out of here!!! *Runs but trips over an umbrella* Ouch!!

Jaune looks back to see what tripped him up and sees Neo standing in front of him.

Jaune: Neo?

Cinder: Good job Neo, now bring him to me.

Neo: "Nah😜"

Cinder: Excuse me?!!

Neo: "I'm sorry, but I have some business to settle with him😁"

Jaune: What business?

Neo: "This😠"

Neo: "You told me you used a condom😡"

Yang: NEO TOO!!!

Blake: Three bad girls? Ok that's super hot~

Jaune: *Silense*

Weiss: Jaune, are you going to say something?

Yang: Yeah, aren't you going to yell or say a funny comment?

Jaune: I'm sorry, but at this point I think I can no longer be surprised.

Salem: *Evil voice* Are you sure about that?

Jaune: Huh?!

Everybody gets ready to fight

Salem: Relax, I didn't come to fight. I just came to spend time with my new family.

Ruby: New family?

Salem: Exactly, right.... *looks at Jaune*

Salem: ...Darling?~

--------------------------

Jaune: *Wakes up* AAAAAAH!!!!!

He looks around and realizes that he is in his room, safe and sound.

Jaune: That's it, this is the last time I drink those natural juices that Ren makes! *Goes back to sleep*

----------------------

It's that spooky time of the year. And what better way to celebrate it than with a small nightmare.

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lilithfairen · 1 year

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A Review of Fixing RWBY V6

For most people in the FNDM, Fixing RWBY is simply "the Faunus heat fic"—known best for an idiotic bit of worldbuilding that's blatantly meant for cringeworthy fanservice bait. Delve past the surface, and you discover an utter narrative trainwreck wreathed in gross attitudes, terrible writing choices, and a weeaboo's objectification of Japanese culture. IT'S AN ONSEN YADDA YADDA

To give an idea of what previous volumes of Fixing RWBY have entailed: an idiotic rivalry between Nora and Pyrrha, Cardin getting bizarre amounts of focus, Celtic Phoenix cutting out Oscar to make Roman into Ozpin's (and Celtic Phoenix's) vessel, Yang not getting to falcon-punch a creep, said creep getting made into Raven's husband so Celtic Phoenix can take the Branwen tribe away from Raven and give it to him, a bathhouse scene where Roman spouts transphobic insults towards Weiss and Ren, and Vernal being remade into a cultural-appropriation daughteru who doesn't wear underwear.

Based on that alone, you would expect Volume 6 to be just as crap. And I decided to go through the whole darn thing, because RWBY "fix" fics aren't just hilariously shit, they're also blatantly telling of the kind of story people who complain about RWBY really want it to be. But I wasn't ready to discover not just how terrible of a writer Celtic Phoenix is, but what an utter piece of excrement he genuinely is.

But before we get into that aspect of Fixing RWBY V6, let's focus on the "subtle" part of why this series is a trainwreck, and not the kind that occurs because our female protagonist is allowed to have any agency whatsoever.

The writing

We'll start with the simplest part of this, that Fixing RWBY is utterly abysmally written in every way.

The pacing is atrocious. Celtic Phoenix pads out chapters with characters flapping their mouths about things that have no consequence for the story and which are never touched upon again. They meander about doing nothing to progress the story. For instance, the events of canon V6's first episode are dragged out over four episodes in Fixing RWBY, with character interactions that never receive any resolution. Blake and Yang's arc of reconciliation makes zero forward progress until it's abruptly glossed over at the very end of the volume, and Blake expresses distrust of Roman but never once defies his authority. Cardin and his team are given screentime that does nothing to progress the story or the main characters' arcs. The story is padded-out with scenes about side characters that add nothing to the plot or to any of the main cast's storylines, and which add nothing to the story by being present.

Celtic Phoenix is also completely incapable of proper foreshadowing. His version of the Brunswick Farms removes everything that builds up the Apathy's nature and powers, simply adding more dead bodies and meaningless ominous notes; as a result, the entire sequence would be nonsensical to anyone not already familiar with canon. He also tacks on an edgy side-effect to the Silver Eyes, with no build-up or hinting-at whatsoever despite Ruby making use of the Silver Eyes earlier in the chapter.

Characters also blatantly act in nonsensical and contrived ways for the sake of railroading the plot. Team RWBY are separated from their weapons for a significant period during the Argus Limited fight, but JNR gets theirs almost immediately. Cordovin immediately accepts Ruby's claims despite a complete lack of evidence supporting them, only for her to later withdraw her agreement, making this nonsensical decision pointless in the long run.

Celtic Phoenix also doesn't have any idea about logical and sensible worldbuilding as well. He creates "Mimic" Grimm that evolve from Apathy Grimm, despite there being zero relation between a Grimm that absorbs willpower and one that imitates people. The Silver Eyes' drawback is plainly tacked on for the sake of edginess, with no logical rationale behind the loss of memories due to using the powers.

Even when Celtic Phoenix isn't all-but-retreading the same story he claims to need to "fix everything" in, his ideas are blatantly stolen from RWBY itself. Cinder's backstory of repeatedly trying to kill Salem is ripped off from Hazel's backstory, as revealed in V8. The edgy drawback for the Silver Eyes is blatantly stolen from a plot point from Volume 9, which was airing during Fixing RWBY V6's release; the same characters react the exact same way as they do to the similar concept in V9, and Celtic Phoenix even has Yang later call Ruby "Rubes" as she does a few times in V9.

The conclusion of the volume drives home that Celtic Phoenix has no idea how to write a satisfying conclusion, let alone one that builds from what he's written previously. He introduces the above-mentioned edgy drawback for the Silver Eyes, only for it to be completely inconsequential because the main character and her teammates are rendered unnecessary to actually resolving the plot. Through contrived writing, Celtic Phoenix would rather have our protagonists watch as other people swoop in to save the day while they did relatively nothing.

So we've established that Celtic Phoenix is a terrible writer, simply on a technical level. But as anyone even vaguely aware of this series without being the kind of "critic" Celtic Phoenix is will know, the most glaring problems with Fixing RWBY lies in different aspects, which highlight how Celtic Phoenix isn't just a shitty writer but a shitty person as well.

The misogyny

Celtic Phoenix has Ruby, Weiss, and Yang play cards with Roman just so Roman can be better than them and gloat over it. He proceeds to have Cardin fucking Winchester try to coach Blake through reconciling with Yang, while teasing Cardin being paired with Velvet—treating Velvet as a reward to Cardin for not being a racist bully.

When Adam appears on the train, Team RWBY are immediately told by male characters to stay out of the way, and are the last to join in the fighting. They're treated as completely helpless before Adam, who would have attacked them had Qrow not saved them. Adam also causes the derailment of the Argus Limited, rather than it being Ruby's choice to protect the other passengers.

After the derailment, the male characters are far more competent at rescuing themselves and the female characters after they fall from the train. When they arrive at Brunswick Farms, Celtic Phoenix creates a new type of Grimm just to be a more dangerous threat that Roman and Qrow face while Team RWBY confronts the lesser Apathy.

Throughout the volume, and especially while in Argus, Team RWBY are frequently portrayed as being unable to get along, with petty insults and cattiness exchanged between them at the most minor and absurd provocations. In contrast, groups that are lead by and/or consist mostly of men are shown to have no problems cooperating or simply being friends. Even when Team RWBY supposedly reconciles, their interactions are bizarrely toxic, insulting, and judgemental towards each other.

When Adam attacks Argus, Team RWBY's immediate response is to flee from him. They are then all defeated by Adam solo, before he is anticlimactically taken out by a cattle prod to the back, following which Cordovin chews them out for being cowards.

Adam's entire portrayal constantly attempts to paint him as sympathetic, even after he has committed an act of mass destruction and murder, including the use of insinuated sexual abuse of his mother in an attempt to portray him as sympathetic. This stands in stark contrast to Ilia Amitola, who is portrayed as undeserving of forgiveness despite having thwarted Adam's previous attempt at mass murder.

Meanwhile Cordovin, who realized the error of her ways in canon, is rewritten into a coward who's willing to desert the people of Argus, doesn't get to serve as a direct combat antagonist at any point, and is ultimately defied by the soldiers under her—continuing a constant trend throughout Fixing RWBY of female characters being written into worse people and having status and authority stripped from them.

And at the climax of the volume, where in canon Ruby mustered the willpower to use the Silver Eyes to turn the tide against the Leviathan? Of course that doesn't happen in Fixing RWBY. Instead, the Atlas soldiers that just earlier were happy to up and leave everyone in Argus to die comes back to save the day. Even in the climax of the story does Celtic Phoenix take every opportunity to strip female characters of their accomplishments and involvement in the plot.

The racism

As mentioned above, Ilia's treatment as a woman of colour who is punished for extremist acts in pursuit of equality clashes blatantly with Adam's treatment, where Fixing RWBY tries to paint him as sympathetic even following him killing numerous people. This furthers the trend of Celtic Phoenix vilifying people of colour within the White Fang, while only having any empathy for the white man in the group.

Also mentioned above is the ship-tease between Cardin and Velvet, two characters whose only interaction in canon is Cardin hurting Velvet in an act of racially-motivated bullying. This plays to racist fantasies of white men being deserving of love from women of minority groups simply for not being outright abusive and prejudiced against them.

When Maria Calavera, a woman of colour with elements of Mexican ethnicity, offers to lead the protagonists to shelter after the train derailment, Roman Torchwick—whom the white male author blatantly uses as his self-insert—accuses Maria of plotting to steal their kidneys.

Arslan, a woman of colour who previously reappeared solely to cruelly mock Pyrrha's death, returns solely to be killed off by Cinder, a white woman. Celtic Phoenix then revealed in a Reddit post that he'd written her entire character around obsession with wanting to feel superior to Pyrrha, a white woman, to the point where it ultimately results in Arslan's death. (Note that nothing in the scenes where Arslan appears even hints at this motivation, thus driving home Celtic Phoenix's utter inability to show rather than tell.)

And the queerphobia

After Ren fends off a monster attacking Roman, Roman exclaims "My hero!" in a romantic fashion. This is the continuation of a piece of queerphobic "humour" from Fixing RWBY V5, where Roman says he thought Ren was a woman because he isn't masculine enough in Celtic Phoenix's eyes.

In addition, which characters who were involved in the airship theft had their roles entirely excised? Saphron and Terra, of course. Despite forcing Cardin and his teammates to the forefront repeatedly, even to the point of letting Cardin tell Blake to Stay In The Kitchen while he fought Adam, Celtic Phoenix minimizes the role two sapphic women play in Volume 6.

White men

Given all of the above, it's blatantly just how deeply bigotry is at the root of Celtic Phoenix's writing decisions. In fact, there is one specific word I'd use to describe Celtic Phoenix, as a person, as a writer, as a "critic" of RWBY:

Threatened.

Fixing RWBY V6 is the work of a white man who genuinely is threatened, who genuinely feels victimized by the story of RWBY. Fixing RWBY itself is the story of a man so offended by a story where the titular heroines are the actual protagonists that he reduces the lead character to a man's sidekick, treats the titular team as incapable of mere friendship, and has them run in terror from a male antagonist at every encounter.

In fact, white male insecurity is at the heart of just about every writing choice of Fixing RWBY, every change that Celtic Phoenix makes. There is not one single episode where Celtic Phoenix does NOT try to have white male characters upstage female characters. White male characters are always more capable of handling challenges than Team RWBY. White male characters are always more charismatic and cooperative and confident. White male characters are always treated as more deserving of respect and sympathy than anyone else. Team RWBY's accomplishments and growth are stripped from them, and whenever they do achieve anything, either a.) white male characters guided them, b.) white male characters did more than them, or c.) it was ultimately inconsequential anyway.

And whether or not they want to admit it to others or even themselves, the people who worked on and otherwise support Fixing RWBY approve of what Celtic Phoenix created because of that white-male self-importance. It doesn't matter what they claim to believe; they've shown through their support for Fixing RWBY that they believe that white men should be the only people who matter in any story. That a story about four brave heroines should instead be a story about how women can't get anything done by themselves. That people of colour should be reduced to snarling villains at worst and targets of racist nonsense from a white man's self-insert at best. That queer people should be swept under the rug so the story can focus on men being entitled to love from women.

All of that is how these people would "fix" RWBY.

#fixing rwby #rwby critics #rwby #misogyny in hatedom #racism in hatedom #queerphobia in hatedom #in conclusion: literally zero redeeming qualities whatsoever

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mean-and-rwde · 1 year

Text

Volume 9 spoilers again

Damn it, the Cat isn't a good person / character... I liked them, too...

Alyx was also a terrible person, at least according to Jaune.

Why the fuck is Louis cute though???? Is it the style or... ????

A PUNDERSTORM. SERIOUSLY. WHAT.

I like that the portal like things had "reflections" of that characters' memories; ie Rusted Knight saw Jaune, Weiss saw Atlas falling.

You know what's more important than the immortal Grimm witch heading to Vacuo with 2 / 4 relics to end the world, the displacement of an entire kingdom among other things?

BLAKE AND YANG CONFESSING FEELINGS

Seriously. What the fuck. Priorities.

"I like that you aren't intimidated by me."

Okay that's BS because:

- Blake has been shown to visibly shrink back whenever she even THINKS Yang is angry

- Congrats, that's like. The bare fucking minimum of a relationship

- How can Blake not be scared when Yang reminds her so much of Adam. You know, her abusive ex boyfriend (at least he was retconned to be).

That whole thing was honestly so forced. Literally. They were forced to confess. And that left a bad taste in my mouth about the whole thing. They could not leave or whatever until they confessed and shit.

Also Jaune saying he was waiting for that (Bumblebee kiss) is creepy on its own because he barely knows them. But add in the fact that as the Rusted Knight, he's easily A LOT older than either girl and... Yikes m'dude.

Over all, not a fan of this volume. Curious Cat, Herbalist and Louis are my favorite characters as of now.

#rwde #volume 9 #what the fuuuuck #rwby critical #i hate it here #slight character bashing #anti bumbleby #ew. just. ew.

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dragynkeep · 2 years

Note

Oooh I love your Blake takes, I’ve always felt like she was just really mean to people for no reason and oftentimes just rude. As well as the way she treated Yang after abandoning her (to go home to her Rich parents whilst her friends tried to pick up the pieces) and then when Weiss was like “what’s that supposed to mean?” When Yang said she didn’t want Blake there like??? She was in the fucking right to not want Blake there she ducking lost an arm for her.

And I Hate hate hate when a fandom practically bans disliking a character because they hate themselves because that is never an excuse for shitty actions! Some people in real life act like because they hate themselves for the shitty things they’ve done (hijacker’s horseman complex) it makes them better by being self aware and it’s just so shit seeing a whole fandom just agree to ignore everything she does because she’s so insecure and blushy around Yang who’s super muscly ooohhh

Yang was in the right in V5 for being angry at Blake and it'll always chap my ass that the writing tries to paint her as irrational and inconsiderate to Blake's feelings, even though the stupid cat was the one to run away without even leaving a note.

Blake was actually my favourite in the Beacon Arc, mostly because of her passionate attitude towards justice and equality for her people, even if her methods read more as niavity to me. The whole thing of her becoming a Huntress to help prove that the Faunus aren't what humanity thinks it is was always stupid, did she think there just weren't any Faunus Huntsmen before her?

After V3? Absolutely can't stand her. The self victimising attitude, her inability to understand other people's suffering over her own, the whole blaming her own people for her stupid McMansion burning down, and don't even get me started about her attitude towards Sun. Now she's easily the worst of Team RWBY, and I can't stand her greasy mop on my screen.

#rwby #rwde #anti blake belladonna #answered #luke.txt

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tumblingxelian · 2 years

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RWBY Volume 9: E3 - Rude, Red, and Royal

My thoughts:

I think Weiss’s fairy tale frustrations are gonna really boil over at some point and Ruby is just so tired.

Butterfly! Butterfly!!!!

Oooh so that’s the weapon from the trailer, trumpets, neat!

Oh gosh the Red King is so smug its kind of hilariously adorable, kind of XD

Jinxy was older & there’s no king but a prince and he seems upset by the mention of a king, interesting.

Oh shit, yeah he does kind of have a color theme doesn’t he.

Ooh clever Rubble.

Also fuck me the animation and set design is good!

Huh, interesting game.

Oh fuck, the Red King planned it like this, like I’m not surprised but the framing and set up is really good.

Little’s body language remains incredible.

Oh snap that was some great framing, going all shadow game on us!

Oh that little cheat! I don’t even feel bad for the white pawns now, fuck those guys.

I am remembering some great meta about how the threats in the Ever After are scary to a child but not to Huntresses and this fits well. Fuck-em up Weiss and cheerleader LITTLE, SO PRECIOUS!

Bumbleby blushing, so cute!

I was kind of hoping for a strategist Ruby episode, but this is entertaining as hell.

CURIOUS!

Oh shit, Alyx really fucked this place up didn’t she?

Fun choreography though aaah poor Blake, the first one knocked back.

So Semblances work, good to know.

A little confused why they needed Ruby to tell them that but I have been grooving to the music all night.

And here I thought it was Ruby who’d flip the table XD

Oh snap they almost fell into the abyss, great save Ruby & Little!

Curiou’s voice is like liquid cool and also interesting, someone assigns purposes they aren't’ just found.

That was psychedelic I loved it, directing it must have been hell though.

OK Curious clearly knows way more than anyone else here.

Weiss just patting sleeping Little is so cute!

Oh snap, crossing into another achor, the Jabberwalker can bleed and this place looks harrowing!

So Neo has arrived very late, her powers just got suped out to the max and she murdered the Jabberwalker on sight, holy fuck!

I am perplexed and bamboozled!

#RWY9 #RWBY Spoilers

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waheelawhisperer · 2 years

Note

Fair-seeming rebuttal on the 'Ruby's not a megaprude' thing, though I have the awful feeling we can plausibly add 'doesn't respect partner boundaries much when the itch hits' to Adam's garbage heap of character traits. Can't really dispute your read on Weiss or Yang, though I could see the latter being more generally *aware* of sex what with the 'shakes down mob info brokers seeking her egg donor' hobby.

Putting this under a read more because the topics in this post aren't really safe for work and might be upsetting to some people.

I mean honestly I don't think there was a moment in his life where Adam Taurus gave a shit about Blake's boundaries unless he could specifically use them to manipulate her, but I don't think things ever progressed to the level implied in this ask. Funnily enough, a story I'm writing actually did have a scene where Blake opened up to her teammates about Adam attempting to force himself on her the night before she left the White Fang, but I ultimately cut it for a number of reasons: it felt like I was using sexual assault for cheap drama and I didn't like that, I thought it cheapened Blake's decision to leave the White Fang for ideological reasons and made light of the courage and strength of character that led to her making that choice, and it just... didn't fit the tone of the franchise, which is the reason most relevant to this ask. Like I said in the last post, RWBY is not exactly a franchise that puts a lot of emphasis on sexual content, so I sincerely doubt that the show would ever depict or reference that sort of sexual assault as part of Blake's backstory. Like, yeah, Adam definitely strikes me as the type for it, but I don't think the show would ever make that explicit, nor do I think it would be better for it if it did.

Honestly I feel like Yang is approximately as aware of sex as you'd expect your average teenage girl to be at that age, like I don't think she's experienced any kind of sex act with a partner but she probably knows that penis goes in vagina and moves back and forth and that things like oral/anal/manual stimulation exist, has probably watched porn on the internet or read Blake's books a time or two, maybe knows a bit about common kinks and so on, and is aware that many of these concepts apply to same-sex relationships as well, but I can't imagine that she's an expert on the subject.

Weiss, on the other hand, is confused by the concept of a blowjob. She knows what sex is because Winter gave her the most awkward, stilted, clinical version of The Talk imaginable when she hit puberty, but she's aware of very little beyond that because Jacques Schnee strikes me as that a member of that very specific brand of old conservative patriarchal men (white, wealthy, and religious are often added onto that but not required) that thinks the uterus of any woman who's part of their household is considered their property, so I genuinely believe he would've done everything in his power to control Weiss's exploration or understanding of her own sexuality until he could barter her to a husband of his choosing when doing so would increase his wealth and probably would've tried to exert a similar level of control over Winter and Willow.

#rwby #analysis #blake belladonna #adam taurus #yang xiao long #weiss schnee #winter schnee #willow schnee #jacques schnee

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violetren · 1 year

Text

Just watched Superheroes and Huntsmen Part One and as a RWBY fan and someone who likes DC heroes in general, I had a great time.

I really loved how they used the fact that everyone knew it was a crossover to their advantage to create a kinda slow boil effect around RWBY details not being quite right. Like a lot of it isn't even subtle (Yang having her prosthetic but being in Volume 1 gear, Grimm glitching immediately, the absence of Blake and Weiss in a pre-fall setting and so on) and yet you're so caught up in the action and in Clark's frantic confusion and the fact that it's a weird ass multiversal cross over that you just sorta rationalise it.

"Of course things are unnatural and weird Clark literally just said that he wasn't supposed to be here and his presence probably fucked up reality somehow. I wonder what time and space shenanigans the JL were involved in to digitise Grimm."

But the weird keeps piling on and by the time you're watching Jaques Schnee be little more than aggrieved and dismissive of Weiss yelling at him at a party, or "volume 1" Weiss having the confidence to do so without fear of retribution you're like "Oh shit is fucked up fucked up, we aren't in Atlas as sure as Clark ain't in Kansas."

From there it's what I can only really call lowstakes Remnant/classic superhero fair. Lots of cool combat, fun, quippy super dialogue, just a touch of personal pain and struggle but hardly enough to register for someone who just finished RWBY volume 9. It was fun.

There were some tiny characterisation things with the RWBY cast that all fell easily within the scope of the fact that they were actively force-fed a false reality and so didn't really strain at suspension of disbelief.

And then there was the DC cast.

I went in expecting to leave wondering why they didn't just use one of their several canon groups of teen heroes, which seems to be a common complaint. After watching it I'm not wondering and I don't think they made some egregious error in judgement using the Justice League.

I might revise my opinion by a great deal if in the next movie the Justice League are still teenagers but honestly I'm curious as hell to see the Huntsmen interact with grown versions of the heroes who haven't had all their insecurities pulled to the forefront, and seeing the Justice League react to the fact that the Huntsmen, while clearly more experienced and steady in their proper ages, are still barely more than children.

I know Doyalist logic for choosing the Justice League probably heavily relates to cold hard cash and someone upstairs incorrectly assuming that it wouldn't be as much of a draw without the Trinity and their current league headliners, and while it's sorta disappointing it's not surprising in the least. I'm choosing to be glad the writers landed on such a cool way to work with the restrictions on rights uses that they were given.

From a Watsonian perspective the idea of forcing them all back to a time where they weren't as good as emotional regulation but keeping them stacked with their big adult emotions to be dealt with in that compromised state while in a facsimile of a world where too much negative emotion makes you bait for murderous monsters is about as solid as most super-villain plans get. It's a plan that would have been even more fucked up and fatal in enacted against teens and turning them to kidlets which circles back into a Doyalist POV in that Of Fucking Course they couldn't have team RWBY fighting alongside prepubescent superheroes. Kids looking after tots is a story for in universe, in fandom, or at least for much more strongly connected multiverses. Sure they could have picked a different plot, but at that point they knew they weren't gonna be able to use teen titans and why not use a cool idea if you have it?

In comparison to my love of RWBY I'm a much more casual comics fan and so while I recognised all the characters in play for half of them I only had broad strokes type knowledge of them learned from fandom and advertising of some of their more popular runs.

To that end the characters I got felt like they hit the broad strokes a casual fan might know and then put them through the same funhouse mirror that teams RWBY and JNR went through being forced into a fake world where nothing was familiar and yet seemed unavoidably real AND needing to readjust to being teens and all the fucked up brain chemistry that comes with that All Over Again. For RWBY and JNR the effect was a little less pronounced due to teenagedom really not being that long ago (and still a reality for Ruby), but of course it showed more obviously in the Justice League members making choices and saying shit their adult counterparts straight up just wouldn't say or do. That was flat out stated in text as the whole point of making them teens again!

I do sorta get why die hard fans of specific characters might feel that those characters weren't done justice but like, that's comics babes. Why would you expect them to do better in an outside of continuity crossover with an anime? Like it's hard enough in any medium to get good properly explored characterisation after a cast has more than like 2 people in their own world nevermind in a massive ensemble multiversal crossover.

As I said before I reserve judgement on hating teeny bopper justice league until I see what state they're in for Part 2. As a stand alone though I think they did fine but that is heavily influenced by the fact that at the end of the day I care more about RWBY than any of the dc characters they included and I was probably quite lucky in that respect.

If I were to register a complaint it would probably be the Weiss and Bruce of it all but it was actually really really easy to just step back and ignore any weak romantic subplot vibes when ultimately it was obvious they were never going to build to anything and when you paused to look at it through the lens of Two Smart Lonely Uber-Rich Kids Who Forged Themselves Into Weapons To Fight For Justice Having Empathy For One Another.

Also it gave us "scientifically minded and highly computer literate Weiss" in what was at least an official story even if it wasn't mainline canon continuity and I love that for her.

#rwby #the justice league #justice league x rwby #super heroes and huntsmen part one #chirping wren

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palaceofpassion · 2 years

Note

Yang aims for Pyrrha next to cheer herself up. Truth leads to her having to admit how sexy does she find Jaune. Dare leads to her having to give her bra or panties to Jaune. Either way Vomit Boy will be a blushing mess.

I had a ton of fun with this one, and seeing as it’s Pyrrha, you get a two in one!

"Ugh whatever Ruby! I'll get you back for this later... but for now, Nikos truth or dare?"

"Oh?"

Pyrrha stared at her for a moment, smiling as brightly as she could. "I'll take Dare."

"Oh, getting confident aren't you? Well tough luck Nikos, this isn't the battle field, you're not going to beat me so easily there!"

Yang began to rub her hands together furiously. "Alright then! I dare you to take off your bra and panties, and give them to VB over there!"

Jaune tried to intercede, "Wait Yang that's a bi-"

"Sorry Yang I can't do that."

"HAH! So you give up! I knew you were a coward."

"No I mean."

Pyrrha stood up for everyone to see, then she did something that shocked everyone, especially Jaune who was now able to see beneath her loose shirt. His eyes practically bugged from his head as Ciel shifted rather deliciously in his lap.

She said nothing but she did smile a little, which May noticed in suspicion.

Pyrrha's hands began to glide down her body, gently cupping her ample chest and tightening the loose fitting shirt to reveal that she was not wearing a bra.

"Holy shit."

Neptune couldn't keep it to himself, though to be fair to him, even Ren had a hard time looking away.

Jaune himself was hypnotized.

And Sun? "Damn girl!" He was giggling like an idiot finding her sudden brazenness and confidence fun! He was just there to have a good time after all.

Even the girls weren't immune, especially May who felt the blood rush to her head.

"See... you can't blame me!"

Ruby softly whispered into Weiss' ear, the heiress nodding in response.

Even Blake who had been paying zero attention up till now peeked from her book and watched carefully.

Her hands went lower, grazing across her unprotected belly. Her open palm slowly shifted to two fingers as she ran them between her thighs tightening her pajamas to reveal, "Nothing down here either."

"Fucking hell, she's the champion of hotness."

"Damn it Neptune."

"What?! I'm right Weiss, and you know it!"

Weiss, who was biting her lip could not argue.

"No... no Nep there is definitely right this time. Nikos is fucking fire!" Neon was practically rocking back and forth with her eyes glued on Pyrrha.

Of course Pyrrha's gaze fell upon her partner who had become impossibly entranced with her.

"Go girl! Shake what your mama gave you!" Nora smiled wildly as she cheered her teammate on.

"I will take your truth though."

Sitting down she shifted closer to Jaune, leaning in on him.

"Fucking... damn it Arc." Coco's entire body was trembling at this point, her body practically on fire.

"Oh uh... well... fuck yo. Uh, how uh, how much do you find Jaune? Do you find him sexy or?"

She didn't even need to finish the question before Pyrrha turned her attention to Jaune, the boy's eyes glazed over from the last experience.

"Jaune?"

"Yes?"

Unbridled by her lustful state, she felt a new bout of confidence over take her. "Come here."

"Uh-"

Her fingers quickly wrapped around his locks of gold tightly winding around his head as she pulled him into a searing kiss.

Ciel FINALLY removed herself from atop Jaune's body, seeing what was about to happen and rather hoping to enjoy the show, revealing that beneath his onesie, he was in fact packing a proper boner. And unfortunately unlike Ren who was wearing proper underwear, and the other boys who were wearing pants. Well... it was just a bit more obvious.

"See! You can't blame me!" Ruby yelled out in defiance.

"Uh holy shit Pyrrha." Yang had the strength to finally speak.

Pyrrha however wasn't listening as she shifted past Ciel and mounted Jaune, pinning the boy to the floor.

"Uhm... I... should we skip Pyrrha's turn to ask?"

Pyrrha's hand went up with one finger, asking to give her a minute as she continued to suck Jaune's face.

After a few minutes, she let him go leaving a thick trail of saliva dripping between the two of them.

"Damn."

No one was sure who said that.

And no one was sure who Pyrrha would target, and what she'd ask them to do. But everyone realized soon enough, that Pyrrha had been holding herself back till now. The wicked smile on her face sent a daunting chill over every, last, one of them.

Well except Jaune, who was still on his back, Both Ciel and May checking on him and giggling over him.

#RWBYTruthorDare #Pyrrha Nikos #Jaune Arc #Yang Xiao Long #Arkos

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howlingday · 2 years

Text

Pyrrha Suffers...

I noticed some of y'all don't like Pyrrha being casted as Yamcha from Dragon Ball Z Abridged, so I decided to do the noble thing, go over my previous posts, make the free will choice to DOUBLE DOWN!

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Pyrrha: Don't worry, everyone. I'm here now.

Nora: Oh, thank Oum! Pyrrha's here now!

Pyrrha: That's right, and I swear that I will give my all fighting these foes. We have trained until our bones cracked to prepare for this, so I know that nothing will ever break our spirit! Today, we win-

Nora: Y-Yeah...! Woo...!

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Roman: ...So, who wants to tell Jaune?

Pyrrha: I'll do it. I was Jaune's partner, so he should hear it from me.

Roman: Whatever you say, Ms. Invincible.

Pyrrha: Jaune? It's me, Pyrrha.

Cinder: Oh, hello, Pyrrha Nikos~.

Pyrrha: YOU?! What are you doing on Jaune's scroll?!

Cinder: Is it wrong for a woman to answer her man's scroll?

Pyrrha: What?! How?!

Cinder: He was so distraught over your death. He needed someone to tend to him after you passed.

Pyrrha: YOU'RE THE REASON I'M DEAD!

Cinder: Well, I guess I'm the better woman then, aren't I?

Jaune: Who is it, Cinder?

Cinder: Oh, just someone trying to sell you a pool.

Jaune: Oh, uh, no thanks.

Cinder: Buh-bye~.

Pyrrha: OH, YOU DIRTY BITCH!

Roman: Penny?

Pyrrha: YOU LISTEN HERE, YOU LITTLE- (Crack) ARGH! MY STERNUM AGAIN!

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Pyrrha: Hmph! You have a lot of nerve coming here!

Cinder: I'm sorry. Do I know you?

Pyrrha: Wh- Don't you remember?! We fought at Beacon!

Cinder: No, I fought Ruby. Watts handled everyone else.

Cinder: Well, everyone except that scrub I took down in one sho-

Cinder: Oh! OH! AHA! AHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Pyrrha: Oh, keep laughing, you evil bi-

Cinder: (Towering over Pyrrha) HA. HA. HA.

Pyrrha: ...Bitch.

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Ashe: H-Hey, Pyrrha! How it han- I mean what's hang- (Ahem!) H-How are you?

Pyrrha: Oh, you know. Hanging in there.

Ashe: (Winces)

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Pyrrha: Oh, I am in over my head. I should contact the others.

Pyrrha: No! No! That's exactly what they'd expect!

Pyrrha: Isn't that right, adult and child wearing trenchco-?

Pyrrha: (Grabs by the throat) ACK!

Truck: (Approaching, Pumpkin Pete ad blares)

Pyrrha: OH, C-COME ON!

Truck: (Swerves, Crashes)

Grimm: Ruby. Vengeance.

Pyrrha: I-I'm... not... Ru-

Grimm: VENGEANCE! (Stabs Pyrrha)

Yang: I heard an explosion! What ha- OH COME ON, P-MONEY! IT'S BEEN TEN SECONDS!

---------------------------------------------------

Pyrrha: I'll get Ruby to a hospital. Let's be honest. With how much you've all grown, I'd just get in the way.

Yang: Yup.

Blake: Probably.

Weiss: No offense.

Cinder: Why are you even here?!

Pyrrha: ...You know what? I'm just going to leave.

---------------------------------------------------

Yang: We can't just sit around here, you know? We have to help!

Pyrrha: Help what? It would be a losing battle.

Yang: Oh, of course you'd say that!

Nora: Actually, she has a point.

Yang: Oh, don't you start!

Nora: Hey, I was in Vacuo, dammit! Shit got crazy! I was stabbed and blown up!

Pyrrha: I was stabbed and blown up, too, and dumped by the only boyfriend I ever had!

Nora: Same, except when my boyfriend left, he took all his character development.

Nora: When your boyfriend left, he took all your character development.

Pyrrha: ...

Yang: ...

Oscar: (Ozpin) You're going to need Mr. Arc to heal that wound, Ms. Nikos.

---------------------------------------------------

Pyrrha: I just like to have hope, okay? Is that so wrong?

Yang: The fact you have any hope in your life is your most admirable quality.

Pyrrha: Oh... Thank you, Yang!

Salem: PYRRHA, FOR THE LOVE OF THE BROTHERS, DON'T THANK HER!

---------------------------------------------------

Pyrrha: Please, you can't do this to me! These games... ever since the Grimm died, they're everything to me!

Pyrrha: My ex-boyfriend left me for an evil Maiden, and is now raising his daughter alone and refusing anyone's help.

Pyrrha: All of my friends are either married, or busy, or spending their days as the living embodiment of libido and being a total dick about it!

Pyrrha: ...Without these tournaments, I'll have nothing.

Cardin: Yeah, nothing, and 20 billion lien.

Pyrrha: What will I... Wait, what?

Port: Twenty. Billion. Lien.

Port: The Association states you can't be left high and dry upon retirement, nor can you be banned from further sponsorship deals, or promotional tie-ins.

Port: Simply put, you sign this non-compete, and you will be set for the rest of your life.

Pyrrha: So... I'd win?

Cardin: You only win! For as long as I've known you, you do nothing but win! This is just icing on your already winning cake!

Pyrrha: (Sniffles, Beams)

#rwby #dragon ball z abridged #dbza #pyrrha nikos #nora valkyrie #roman torchwick #cinder fall #yang xiao long #jaune arc #arcfall #knightfall #oscar pine #blake belladonna #weiss schnee #salem #cardin winchester #peter port

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kitkatopinions · 3 years

Note

In addition to some ships affecting the story in a bad way (like bumbleby), some of CRWBY go out of their way to shit on less popular ships they don't play favorites with. Like Eddy with freezerburn and I think one of the VAs (Arryn or Lindsay?) said during a livestream she was totally all in for canon bumbleby but can't understand white rose. Like fans can ship it but shouldn't expect it to be canon. CRWBY don't understand white rose is actually healthier and is a better option over bumbleby.🙃

Quite a lot of RWBY ships are healthier and/or more interesting than bumblebee, but I really do think there's a taboo on all the staff to never ever say anything against the ship even to say they personally don’t ship it, but they're allowed to crap on other ships.

There's for sure an argument that people should be allowed to voice their opinions online even if they're celebrities or heavily involved in projects, and that argument is compelling... Except that A. many of the voice actors including Barbara, Arryn, and Lindsay are really close to the project. For something like Rooster Teeth, their voice actors aren't just there for the project with no real input in the writers room, they're friends, exes, PR directors or some shit. And B. they have to know about how rabid their fandom has gotten - maybe they don't know the full extent of it, but Barbara has encouraged people to own the term 'wasps,' and Eddy condemned the ban of RWBY criticism in the r/rwby reddiit forum, so like... They at least know some of how weaponized their fandom is. They have a responsibility as creators with a large fanbase to be careful with what they say and do. They have to know that there are a lot of bees fans that will take their opinions on ships as gospel and full on attack people for shipping something that 'the staff condemned.'

Also, kind of funny that Eddy Rivas says they couldn't say 'Clover isn't queer' and implied it was too close to a spoiler for what ships would or wouldn't possibly be canon later, but voice actors are allowed to hint at Bumblebee being canon and tell fans not to expect WhiteRose to be canon. Huh.

But, as for WhiteRose being healthier than Bumblebee, it definitely is. It's just... Like, that's not even my opinion, there's just so much less in the way for WhiteRose, whereas Bumblebee as a ship has had a ton of stuff to work through that they never work through. The stumbling blocks for WhiteRose like Weiss being a pretentious and judgemental, prideful person, and Ruby needing to do a bit of maturing, and Ruby being angry at Weiss over the way treated Blake... All of that is mostly all worked out by the end of season one. After that, it was a joking back and forth.

"My bestie!" "No." "Stay strong, Weiss! We'll make it through this together!" "Shut up, don't touch me!"

Like, I like them best as friends, I don't really ship them, but I wouldn't be mad about it if they became canon. It'd make sense to me, they wouldn't need to do a lot to bridge any gap in order to have them start being romantic. That's not how it was for Yang and Blake. They absolutely could've been done well and been a great romantic pairing. But they had so much controversy to work through - and they absolutely could've - so much that made them problematic that they never really addressed, and so much they still have in their relationship that's unhealthy. It's the same with Freezerburn, and quite a few other ships.

#rwde #anti rwby #rwby bashing #rwby hate #rwby criticism #anti crwby #anti bumbleby #anti bb #anti bees #anti bumblby #anti bumblebee #anti blake x yang #anti yang x blake

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juanarc-thethird · 1 year

Text

What can I get you? Part 5

After the little incident that happened at the drive-thru and the revelation that Jaune has female fans. Bleiss has taken the time to investigate who are the girls who want to take her man away from her. Right now she is sitting on the farthest chair in the room. she wears a raincoat, a large scarf on top of her head, some sunglasses, and she is drinking a soda.

Weiss: Bleiss, what are you doing?

Bleiss turns her head in surprise and sees her sister in uniform sweeping the floor next to her table.

Bleiss: How did you know it was me?! I use this outfit to go unnoticed.

Weiss: It's a good outfit, but nobody in their right mind would come to eat at a fast food restaurant wearing Prada.

Bleiss: You're right, I would have worn Louis Vuitton.

Weiss: My God. What are you doing sitting here? Aren't you going to flirt with my Jaune?

Bleiss: Your Jaune?

Weiss: You heard me.

The two girls glare at each other for a moment but Bleiss stops and takes a deep breath.

Bleiss: I'm sorry sis, but I don't have time to fight with you right now. I have to know who are the admirers who want to take my Jaune from my arms.

Weiss: You are wasting your time. Most of his fans are older women who flirt with him for fun. Nothing serious.

Bleiss: Ok, and the rest?

Weiss: The rest are… what would you call them?… they are... aggressive in their own unique way.

Bleiss: So they like to go on the offensive. My respects, not many women dare to take the first step.

Weiss: I wouldn't feel that way about them. Look at them first and then tell me if you like them or not.

Bleiss: Whatever. Since you work here. What time will the first bitch arrive?

Weiss: *Looks at her watch* It will arrive at any moment. She works at the bookstore near here. Her name is Blake.

Bleiss: She works at a bookstore? Ha! I bet she looks like a nerd. With braids and a hideous sweater.

Weiss: Here she comes.

The front door of the restaurant opens and a beautiful girl with black hair appears. She is wearing a dark blue button down blouse, and her sleeves are up to her elbow. The collar of the blouse was round, the buttons were dark silver. She also wears a brown skirt with lines that make a square pattern. Dark blue stockings and brown boots the same color as the skirt. She also wears a brown beret. Her figure was that of a model, long legs, a small waist, and a generous chest. But what stood out the most about her was her huge ass. Bleiss, she couldn't believe it.

Bleiss: Holy shit! How can a bookstore girl be so hot?

Weiss: And wait till you see how she flirts with Jaune.

At the counter

Blake: Hey Jaune~

Jaune: Hi Blake, how have you been?

Blake: After seeing you, I feel excellent today. And you?

Jaune: So so. What can it get you?

Blake: Did you read the book I lent you?

Jaune: That's not on the menu, but I did read the book.

Blake: Did you like it?

Jaune: I liked it, but I would like it more if you told me what you are going to order.

Blake: Do you want to act a few scenes with me? Especially the spicier parts~

Jaune: So you'll order the usual. Got it.

Blake: What do you say, you want to be my hero tonight?~

Jaune: Here is your order. A fish sandwich with extra mayonnaise, fries, and an iced raspberry tea. Anything else?

Blake: *Smiles* You~

Jaune: I'm sorry miss, but that's not on the menu.

Blake: Tease *Swipes her card and pays* One of these days I'll convince you. See you later Jaune~ *wink*

She takes the food and goes to sit at one of the empty tables.

Bleiss: Huh, she went for the kill, she's good. But she is not good like me.

Weiss: Says the girl who is still trying to get a date.

Bleiss: Shut it. Also, the way you talked about her, I thought they she would be more dangerous.

Weiss: Is not over.

Blake then comes back to the counter.

Blake: Jaune, there's something wrong with my food.

Jaune: I'm sorry to heard that, what's wrong?

Blake removes the bread from the top of the sandwich and points with her finger.

Jaune: I don't see anything out of the ordinary.

Blake: Look closely.

Jaune: *Gets closer* I see nothing.

Blake: Closer

Jaune: I still see nothing.

Blake: *Slowly move the sandwich towards her* Just keep looking.

Jaune: *follows the sandwich* I could see it better if you stopped moving the sand-!

Without warning Blake used a free hand to hold Jaune's face and she lick his cheek.

Jaune: *Surprised and blushing* Blake!

Blake: That was what was wrong. Something sweet was missing.

As an embarrassed Jaune retreats to the staff room, Weiss and Bleiss were shocked. Weiss knows Blake is bold, but this is the first time he's seen her do this.

Bleiss: She just lick my Darling!

Weiss: Normally she kisses his cheek. This is the first time she has done this!

Bleiss: She normally kisses his cheek?!!! *Angry* That's it, I'll tell that girl to leave my man alone!

Bleiss was about to stand up, until the restaurant doors are flung open and a loud voice fills the room.

Yang: I'm starving!

A girl with light skin and blonde hair draws attention in the room. She has her hair in a ponytail. She wears a white sleeveless top and on top of that she wears a black leather jacket. She is also wearing some gray jeans, black boots, and a pair of sunglasses that she still hasn't taken off her face. But what bothers Bleiss the most is that she has huge tits, as big as two melons if she can describe it like that.

Bleiss: Who is this loud bitch?

Weiss: Shit, she came early. Her name is Yang.

Bleiss: She's another admirer?

Weiss: Yes. She is a boxing coach in the afternoons for her father's gym. She usually arrives later. I hope she doesn't cause trouble.

Bleiss: Huh?

Yang: Now where is my Lover Boy?!

Bleiss: Lover Boy?

Weiss: That's what she calls Jaune.

She looks around the restaurant and sees Jaune coming out of the staff room to clean some tables.

Yang: *Smiles* I found you~

She walks up to him, spanks him, and she leaves her hand there.

Jaune: Hey!

Yang: *She takes off her sunglasses* Hello Jaune, you look delicious as usual~

Jaune: Yang, I told you not to do that!

Yang: You say that but I know you love it~

Jaune: *A little upset* Yang....

Yang: What's wrong, your work has you stressed? I have an idea. How about we go out for a couple of beers after your shift is over? *She hugs his arm and presses her chest against it* And if that isn't enough, we can go to my apartment to hang out~ What do you say?

Jaune: Thanks, but I have to decline your offer. I have an exam the next day.

Yang: In that case, let's both go straight to my place and I'll help you relax.~ I assure you that you will wake up as a new man and ready for the exam.

Jaune: Tempting but I have things to do today besides studying.

Yang: I can give you a hand *Show him a little bit of cleavage* and maybe more~

Bleiss: I will kill that bitch!!

Weiss: *Stops her* Wait, don't get your hands dirty. Let nature take its course.

Bleiss: The fuck?! What the hell does that mean?!

Weiss: Just watch.

Jaune: Thanks for the offer, but I have-

Blake: *Hugs jaune's other arm* Better things to do than be with a cow like you.

Yang: Hi Blake, always so sweet. How are you, alone as always?

Blake: Alone with my dear Jaune. We are very close.

Jaune: I wouldn't say close, more like acquaintances.

Yang: It seems that Lover boy here does not like to be with you. Why don't you go away and let him have fun with a real woman.

Jaune: Actually, I'd rather go back to work.

Blake: Jaune you are always responsible. That's something I like about you~

Yang: Calm down kitty. Jaune, have you been exercising? Your arms feel stronger and more muscular~

Blake: *She lets go of his arm* Why don't you go eat a salad somewhere else? You're already top heavy, you don't want to put more weight on your stomach.

Yang: *She also lets go of his arm* Listen to your own slut advice. Have your hips always been so big or is it because of all the food you swallow like a pig?

Blake: Are you still upset because your mom doesn't love you? poor thing

Yang: How about your ex boyfriend? He's still in that terrorist cult?

Blake: Shut the fuck up!

Yang: Make me, you whore!

The two girls started hitting each other. They pulled their hair, they scratched each other, and they gave each other some good blows here and there. Everything was going from bad to worse until the manager appeared.

Junior: What's going on here?! *He looks at the fight.* Hey! Yang, Blake, break it up or I kick you both out of my restaurant!

The two girls stop and each go their own way. Blake to sit down to eat and Yang to order her food.

Junior: Jaune, I need you to take out the trash.

Jaune: Yes sir.

Junior: Thanks. *Leaves*

Jaune leaves, heading to the back of the kitchen for the trash.

Bleiss: Why Junior didn't kick them out right away? I am going to talk with him.

Weiss: Sister wait. You can't kick them out.

Bleiss: Why not? It is our family restaurant. We can do that.

Weiss: Yes, but...

Bleiss: But?

Weiss: They... They are my friends.

Bleiss: You are friends with the enemy?!!

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

Note

I don’t hate or criticize the scene, but I’ve never been into the whole “we put our wants second” thing. Plenty of people in real life go into police or the military because of honoring family members who there before or other personal reasons. Plus, as you said, wanting to help but also having a personal reason is more complex. Again, don’t hate and not really criticizing, just a minor nitpick at worst. Nothing compared to all the genuine shit I hate about the show, now.

Even if it's just a nitpick, if it helps at all I think the scene is coming at it more from a hierarchy perspective than an either/or perspective. Sure, everyone is going to become a huntress for at least a few reasons beyond generically wanting to do the right thing (Ruby is really the outlier there) and yeah, there's no rule that says you can't achieve your dreams while upholding your responsibilities: Yang can have fun, Weiss can improve the Schnee name, Blake can make a difference for the faunus. Ideally, these things will happen simultaneously (making it more interesting for the viewer too), but if the situation isn't ideal, being a huntress needs to come first. Originally, the girls saw being huntresses as merely a tool to get what they wanted and the revelation is that, no, this isn't something you can't just drop when it conflicts with your personal desires, or pick and choose when you want to uphold those responsibilities. The tradeoff for using the position as a tool is, if push comes to shove, the tool comes first. Not to keep throwing my other binge-sessions into RWBY discussions, but there's a pretty straightforward example of this in All of Us Are Dead. Firefighter dad wants to get to the school where his daughter is during the zombie apocalypse and someone else has to point out that hey, you can't just abandon us for her. By becoming a firefighter you made an oath to protect all the people in your care, not just those you're personally close to. Interestingly, the show has him making different choices at different points, teasing when it's heroic to uphold that duty vs. when it's heroic to uphold his promise to his daughter... but RWBY doesn't toe those kinds of lines very well lol.

So yeah, I personally never interpreted the scene as claiming they couldn't have those desires, or couldn't work to achieve them, or even that their desires couldn't ever come first if they wanted (Blake, for example, could have left being a huntress to lead the White Fang). Rather, just that if you're going to carry this title, reap the benefits, and raise those expectations in the people, you can't just drop it when things get a little challenging. There are times, canonically, where what the group wants and what they should do as huntresses conflict and often, they choose what they want instead of what they should arguably do to help. That, to me, says they're not fit for the role (or, more likely, aren't ready for this level of responsibility yet). If a firefighter refused to go to the scene of a fire because they thought it was boring, or might reflect badly on their last name for some reason, or they preferred to go to a political rally instead... they probably shouldn't be a firefighter. They're putting other preferences before the job. Firefighting can be exciting, or empowering, or help a neighborhood, but those benefits can't be prioritized over putting out the actual, literal fire.

Or in this case, grimm.

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

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yamaoni · 4 years

Text

The Second Great War of Remnant has begun. Once more, Vale and Mantle are embroiled in a massive conflict, only this time, they are on the same side against Atlas.

I don't think it was a coincidence that so many people drew parallels with the last episode and WWI. We've never seen people fight that way in RWBY. Grimm don't use projectile weapons the way humans do, so the benefits of the trench are diminished; especially if you compare it to the drawbacks.

Now, I understand not everyone in the Atlas military has their aura unlocked and the squishy soldiers need some cover, but if The Long Memory didn't nuke every grimm on Atlas, the lines would have been overrun and then there would have been nowhere for them to retreat to.

You think the very real hand to hand struggles in the trenches of WWI were bad, imagine being trapped in a narrow trench with a bear. Or having this thing explode out of the ground under you.

I refuse to believe no-one in Atlas ever thought, "if we put the dirt from the trench in a box, no only can we give our soldiers cover, we can also give them an elevated position to fire from."

The top of a wall has been the primary defensive position for the people of Remnant for a long time. You can see them in the establishing shots of most settled places the team has visited. So why are we seeing a trench now?

Simple.

Show, don't tell.

RWBY has done a pretty great job, especially in the last few seasons, of showing the audience what it is trying to convey without explicitly telling them. They especially like drawing from well known folk lore to give insight into the future of the show.

Only difference here, instead of drawing the parallel between characters, they're drawing parallels between worlds.

Remnant's first Great War started with Mantle suppressing freedom of expression, the destruction of Art and Color. Ironwood always has little in the way of color, but in his first broadcast since everything started hitting the fan, he has none.

That broadcast also included evacuation ships being blown up by fighter-bombers, Dunkirk. It threatend to level a city if they didn't surrender, Battle of Brittan. All delivered by a dictator trying to scare his opponents into submission through careful use of film.

Theories

If the rest of the season is WWII, I have several theories on plot direction. Considering how well they did keeping up with both ends of the battlefield it wouldn't surprise me if they followed all of them at the same time.

Operation Dunkirk

Or, the evacuation of Mantle.

Players: Penny, Nora, Ren, Happy Huntresses

The Happy Huntresses involvement is a given. Not only has saving Mantle been their goal the whole time, they're also stuck in the middle of it right now.

Penny is the Protector of Mantle. It would be a shining moment for her character to fully throw off the virus Watts implanted and overcome Ironwood's threats to do so. Just crossing my fingers that it doesn't end like the Iron Giant.

Nora is currently Penny's tether to sanity, so she has to go with, and I doubt they would separate Ren from her for the next arc so he's going too.

Surprise twist for this plot I'm betting will be the Starwars "they aren't warships, just people" scene everyone loves to rag on. After all, the broadcast went out that they needed help and, at least at Dunkirk, it was fishing boats and pleasure crafts that retrieved the 338,000 surrounded on all sides.

Why We Fight

Or, countering Ironwoods propaganda.

Players: Robyn and Qrow

For one, these two are unaccounted for and in the heart of Atlas' military machine. If anyone has means to do so, it's them.

The film, Why We Fight, also countered the dramatic cinematography of Goebbels propaganda by painting it as ridiculous and making a folksy call to action much like Robyn has done in the past.

Operation Fortitude

Or, the deception of Ironwood.

Players: Emerald, Jaune, Oscar

This is the mission to make Ironwood think the team is going after the relic. This theory is why I actually thought of and wrote out this whole thing. Thanks @maxiemumdamage, I had things I was supposed to do tonight.

https://maxiemumdamage.tumblr.com/post/644291955872890880/willing-to-bet-my-own-soul-that-emerald-uses-her

Only difference in my theory and their's, is Jaune is going to be playing the part of Penny.

I say this for two reasons. One, Joan of Arc pretended to be a man. While we've gotten both Jaune pretending to be something he's not and him in a dress, this would pose the first time in the story he could do both. Two, it would put him on a direct collision path with Cinder. It needs to happen at some point to bring his arc to a conclusion, but man I hope we're not about to watch him burn.

With Ozpin active again, Oscar has to go along to direct them to the vault. He's also one of two backing the idea of Emerald joining the team and Jaune wouldn't be willing to work with her without him.

Operation Overlord

Or, busting down the doors of Atlas Acadamy.

Players: Ruby, Blake, Weiss, Yang

Where Operation Fortitude was the faint, Operation Overlord was the real deal. For those that aren't history buffs, this is D-Day.

I think this is the reason we've only seen the main team fighting together once since their split from Beacon. And even then, that fight was at most pairs of fighters and not all four of them supporting one another.

RWBY tricked us into thinking season 4 was the post-timeskip level up we come to expect from anime when really we ended up watching the training flashbacks as they happened instead.

We've seen hints of it with the various team ups and combinations, but are we really ready for how much ass kicking they are about to do?

I'm hoping for a One Piece level of badass entrance that can give me shivers whenever I go to watch it again like the walk to Arlong Park still does to this day.

(Aside: if you try telling me RWBY isn't anime, I'm just going to ignore you. Anime is an art movement. If you don't understand what that means, watch this video. https://youtu.be/uFtfDK39ZhI)

youtube

Now last and certainly not least

Operation Valkyrie

Or, the death of Ironwood.

Players: Winter and Marrow

The long awaited defection. Plenty of speculation has already floated around about if and when these two where going to cave to their morals and jump ship. I don't know how many of us were expecting the straw to break the camel's back to be a nuke held over Mantle, but I certainly wasn't.

What worries me, is Operation Valkyrie failed and all its conspirators were executed. As if there weren't enough death flags for Winter before.

Even if it's not Winter that kills him. I don't see Ironwood surviving this season. Even if it means he goes out like another hated dictator. It's not like it would be the first time RT had a fallen hero chose to use his own sword.

Wildcards

Or, Murphy will have his due.

Players: Cinder, Watts, Neo, Tyrian, Mercury, Clover

These players can go any which way. Three we know for sure are going to be active in the coming episodes and I wouldn't be surprised if the other three play a part as well.

Oscar made a hell of a light show for Tyrian and Mercury to see behind them. Not to mention, Salem will still need a ride home when she pulls herself back together.

Clover keeps getting mentioned even though he's hospitalized. If he was truly out of commission for the rest of the season, they would have made us think he's dead before bringing him back like they did with Penny.

Up to now, what we've seen is a three way conflict. But one of the hallmarks of Remnant's First Great War, was making temporary alliances to fight off grimm.

The grimm might be gone, but the wild cards can't complete their own objectives if they are dead. The question is who's goals better align with their own.

Two surprise twists I can see here. One, Mercury stabbing Tyrian on his way to defection. He was raised by an assassin and has not going to get a better chance than that. Two, Clover joining Operation Valkyrie. He might have accepted that sacrifice is a necessary evil to ensure Atlas' survival, but might go Schindler's List on us and find horror in what Ironwood plans to do.

TLDR

I spent way too long writing this out. All the WWI imagery means we're getting a WWII movie with RWBY characters. Major death flags for Penny, Jaune, and Winter.

Also I finally figured out how to do a readmore. Apparently it's just been a long time since I updated.

Note: kept seeing things talking about clovers death and I kind of went ???? Isn't he barely alive in medical? Went back and watched that scene and though I am 90% sure he is dead still kind of weird that they have him in his own room instead of a morgue and the initial framing made my mind instantly think he was propped up on a hospital bed. I mean, I guess we needed to have all the ACEOPs there for their reaction to Ironwood... but it definitely made me think he was alive. That and they have a bandage on his chest wound... when he's supposedly dead. Also have a phantom memory of Harriet saying something about him being in critical but I think that's my memory playing tricks on me.

Having his face exposed instead of covered by the sheet and seeing him in the same frame as Winter being treated also didn't help my gut reaction of "Oh Shit! He's alive? How?!" If I'd followed up more on the "how" might not have made the blunder of writing his return as the final twist in my theory. Oops

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