#welcome to my pity party until I’m well again

[jmflowers]

it finally happened. two and a half years into masking and pandemic life and I’ve gotten sick for the first time.

[hihomeghere]

Blue Ain’t Your Color | Arthur Morgan / Reader

Word count : 3k Warnings/tags: Alcohol, consuming alcohol, bar setting, talk of manipulative exes, kissing, cursing, bachelor/bachelorette party, talk of infidelity, Modern!AU Summary : Loosely based on the song, Blue Ain't Your Color. After a rough breakup you force yourself to go to your best friend’s joint bachelor/bachelorette party. Knowing that a certain best man will be there.

As the hours ticked closer to 5pm, you wondered how rude it would be to flake out on your best friends' bachelorette party. It wasn’t like she’d be alone, after sharing a friend group for so long it was only natural to have a combined bachelor and bachelorette party. And for as long as John and Abigail were together your little group felt more like family than friends.

Your phone buzzed next to you, a telltale sign of a text. Most likely from your asshole ex.

Fuck it. You picked it up, turning it towards your face. Abigail’s name popped up instead of his as a welcomed surprise.

‘You have about thirty more minutes to sulk before you better get your ass down here.’ You snorted at her message, rolling your eyes.

‘I was not sulking🙄’ You texted back, caught red handed by her unreasonable psychic senses.

‘I know you.’ She messaged, before the three little dots pop up again. ‘He wasn’t even hot, you were doing charity work.’ You laughed shaking your head, the first real smile gracing your face for the first time in two weeks.

‘True.’ You text back, sighing as you pull yourself off of your couch. ‘I’ll see you in 20😘’

It’s just one night, one night where you end your pity party. Abigail’s right, he wasn’t even that hot, and an awful kisser to boot. You needed to put your feelings aside and be there for your best friend.

You knew you’d had fun, all your girls would be there, and there would be karaoke. You knew you’d be heartbroken if you missed Sean and Lenny’s rendition of Don’t go breaking my heart. You applied your makeup, making sure to look killer in all the photos that would inevitably end up on social media. It was the best revenge for him sleeping with his girl ‘best friend’, to show him what he’s missing. And if you happened to look good for another certain man, well that was just a bonus.

Throwing on your best little black dress, you admired how it hugged your curves. Checking your makeup and hair one more time before heading out the door for your Uber.

It wasn’t long until you pulled up at the Horseshoe Overlook, the place to be on a Friday night. You could see Javier in front of the entrance, a cigarette dangling from his lips.

“Ay! There she is!” He exclaimed as you stepped out of your Uber, grinning as he walked over to you pulling you into a hug.

“Hey Javi.” You chuckled, “Everyone else inside?” You asked as he pulled away, sparks falling to the ground as he tapped his cigarette.

“You know it.” He grinned, motioning inside with a tilt of his head. You took a deep breath before pushing open the doors, the smell of alcohol and fried food filling your nostrils. It didn’t take you long to find the rambunctious group of assholes you called your best friends.

You could already see Sadie on Charles shoulders, waving at you with a huge grin on her face. Abigail immediately threw her arms around you.

“You done sulking?” she laughed, pressing a shot into your hand. You threw it back, a shiver running through you as the alcohol ran down your throat.

“I’m working on it.” You chuckled, shaking your head. “It’s kind of hard to be sad around y'all." You smiled, looking around at your friends. Your eyes seemed to find- well not find- the man you had hoped to see tonight. The best man.

“Arthur’s not here yet if you’re wondering.” Abigail whispered, a mischievous glint in her bright blue eyes.

“I wasn’t looking for him.” You said, rolling your eyes, lying through your teeth.

“Well in case you were wondering,” She started, her hand wrapping around your waist as she pulled you close. “He’s single.” You furrowed your brows, your head snapping to look at her. Ever since you could remember Arthur had been stuck on this one girl, Mary. They had the absolute worst on and off again relationship you’d ever seen. Honestly it was painful to watch at points, and let’s just say she didn’t get along with most of the group.

“I’m not looking to be a rebound, thank you very much.” You said, trying to stay as nonchalant as possible. Of course, Abigail saw straight through your facade, but she didn’t push it.

“Alright honey, whatever you say.” She cooed, fixing her ‘bride’ sash before going off to find John. The bright neon blue lights illuminating the low lit bar. You snuck away from the festivities, making your way to the bar and setting yourself on an open stool. Flagging down one of the bartenders for a drink. Maybe you’d drown your sorrows a bit before getting back to the party. Your phone buzzed in your pocket. Not thinking twice about it, you pulled it out checking the notification. Your smile fell off your face as you read the latest test from your ex. Who was apparently working on the new record of how many times someone could say they’ve ‘changed’ in a day.

You groaned, laying your phone face down on the bar top. Thankful for the vodka cran placed in front of you. Even though it was cheaper to drink away your sorrows at home, it never tasted quite as good. You slowly sipped your drink, watching the white cubes slowly get more transparent in the red liquid.

“You gonna drink it or just watch the ice melt?” A deep rumbling voice asked, as no one other than human sunshine Arthur Morgan pulled up next to you. The man who had been strictly off limits for years now dangled in front of you on a hook. His hands were stained as he laid them on the bar top, no doubt from the various vehicles he’d worked on all day.

“Still debating.” You sighed, offering him a small smile.

“Rough day?” He asked, his flannel rolled up to his elbows, showing off his tanned forearms.

“More like week.” You said with a weak chuckle, your cheeks already heating up with the hunk of a man next to you. How Arthur and John were brothers you had no idea. They were near opposites of each other. Let’s just say, you and Abigail never had to worry about fighting over boys. Arthur slipped off his cap, pushing his honey blond locks back with his calloused hand before setting his hat back on his head. His bright azure eyes scanned the bar even though you knew he would buy the same drink as always.

“Yeah,” He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, “Yeah I get that.” He said, calling the bartender over with a raise of his finger.

You sipped your drink, squeezing the lime before placing it back on the rim. Cooling the rising heat in your cheeks as Arthur moved closer to you. A deep rumbling laugh left his lips as you turned to see what was causing him so much joy. You saw Sean hoist Lenny onto his shoulders, nearly falling over with the weight of him. If they weren’t careful they’d get kicked out again.

He turned his rosy cheeked face towards you, eyeing you with a questioning look. “So,” He said, raising his bourbon to his lips, “Where’s what’s his face?”

You chuckled dryly, shaking your head. “Probably chasing after anything with a pair of tits.” You huffed, rolling your eyes, taking a long sip of your drink.

“That��s a shame.” He whistled, although from the tone in his voice you can tell it’s anything but a shame. You shrug, looking back towards the rest of the group.

“Not really, none of you guys liked him much anyway.” You said twirling your straw around in your drink, a deep frown etched on your face.

“Yeah, but you liked him.” He said, nudging your shoulder, offering you a sad smile. If anyone knew how you felt it would be Arthur. Mary wasn’t exactly popular with your group of friends either.

As much as you hated to admit it, you did like him. Maybe that’s the problem, no matter how much everyone said he didn’t deserve you, he still broke your heart.

“I know it ain’t my place,” He starts, holding up his hand, “But blue ain’t your color.” He said, wetting his lips before bringing his glass up. The corner of your mouth tugged upwards, as you looked at him from the corner of your eye. “There she is.” He said with a smile.

If it was anyone else talking to you this way, you’d think they were flirting with you. Maybe you were just hoping that the same could be said for Arthur. But you knew it wasn’t likely, Arthur wasn’t the type of guy to pick up some random girl from a bar and take her home. Maybe in his younger years, when Mary and him had called it quits for the umpteenth time, but not now. Then again, you weren’t some random girl.

“That was incredibly cheesy.” You chuckle, rolling your eyes, a smile growing on your lips.

Being around Arthur was like having your own personal bit of sunlight, he exuded warmth, brightening up any room. You on the other hand could practically hear the thunder rolling from the clouds that hung over your head. Why he had decided to sit with you, you didn’t know. Other than the fact that he was just a good guy.

“So, I heard about you and Mary.” You said, clearing your throat, looking up at him. He grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck, a shadow passing across his face.

“You and the whole town.” He sighed, bringing his glass to his lips, sucking in a breath as it ran down his throat. You nodded, taking another sip of your drink.

“It won’t be long until y'all are back together anyway.” You said, twirling your straw around in your drink, biting your lip as you looked down.

“No.” He said, shaking his head, "She's- well she’s moved on, think I should too.” He nodded, a light blush coloring his cheeks.

“And here everyone thought you were gonna get married next.” You said nudging his elbow, trying to hide your jealous tone.

“Me?” He asked, his head snapping to look at you, a bewildered look on his face. “No way, not to her at least.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “Her and I, well we didn’t agree on most things. A marriage between us would have been doomed from the start. But uh, we probably shouldn’t be talking about doomed marriages, bad luck and all.” He said with a toothy grin.

“Didn’t know you were superstitious.” You smiled.

“Well it’s not every day your little brother finds someone stupid enough to marry him.” He teased, although you could hear a hint of truth in his tone.

“Well Abigail is pretty taken by him.” You chuckled, looking over at the two of them.

“Yeah, they’re good for each other. She keeps him in line.” He nodded, finishing his drink before setting it down on the bar top.

“Happy to pass your job off?” You asked with a smirk.

“John hasn’t listened to me in years.” He laughed, rolling his eyes. “Other than Abigail, Dutch is the only person he listens to.” You smiled, watching the rest of your friends pair off and hit the dance floor. Your heart slowly sunk into your stomach.

“Hey.” He said, giving you a lopsided smile, “Could this old fool have a dance?” He asked, holding out his hand for you to take.

“You ain’t that old.” You laughed taking his hand, butterflies erupting in your stomach. His calloused hand was surprisingly warm and gentle as he held yours. He pulled you off of your stool, leading you onto the dance floor.

“Atta girl Y/n!” Karen called from the sideline, holding up a very intoxicated Sean. You were thankful for the low lights, knowing you were red as a tomato. Your cheeks burning as Arthur turned to face you.

“Hey,” His finger lifted your chin, “eyes on me, alright?” He grinned, you wondered if you had imagined the slight waver in his voice. You nodded, swallowing thickly as another song started to play. One his hands holding your hip while the other clasped your own. You looked over at the other couples, your foot landing on top of Arthur’s boot.

“Sorry!” You whispered, wincing. He chuckled, shaking his head.

“That was nothin’.” He grinned, twirling you in a gentle circle.

“I’m not the best dancer.” You admitted, chucking weakly as you looked down at your feet.

“Oh c’mon now,” He said pulling you closer, his hand on the small of your back, “You’re not so bad.” He spun you around on the wooden dance floor, his eyes sparkling under the disco ball. “You just gotta let me lead.”

It was getting harder with every passing moment to fight your feelings from bubbling over. He was so handsome, the sweetest guy in the whole world. More importantly he was your friend, not just because he wanted to get in your pants, but because he cared. It didn’t hurt that he was a fantastic dancer, too.

“Used to see you out dancin’ every weekend with the girls.” He said softly. That had been right before you got together with your ex. He didn’t like dancing and he didn’t want you going out if he couldn’t go with you. It was controlling in hindsight, but at the time you had on your rose colored glasses.

“Guess I’m not as good as I used to be.” You chuckled, a nervous grin tugging at your lips.

“That’s alright, darlin’.” He said softly, his hand moving to between your shoulder blades as he dipped you. You held onto his shoulder, his hand sliding down your thigh. Your breath caught in your throat. “You just need to practice.” He whispered before pulling you back onto your feet. Your breaths mingled, your chest brushing against his with every inhale.

His eyes moved from yours to your lips. His words ringing out in your head. Think I should move on too. He leaned down, his nose brushing against yours as he captured your lips. Before you know what you’re doing you’re pushing him off. Running across the dance floor and out into the parking lot, like the clock had struck midnight. Your chest rose and fell rapidly as you held onto your forearms. The cool night air biting your nose and cheeks.

You wouldn’t be a rebound. You couldn’t do that. You wouldn’t when you’ve been in love with Arthur for a lot longer than you’d like to admit.

“Y/n!” He calls from the entrance, striding over to you. His eyes almost frantic and his mouth set in a thin line. “I’m sorry, alright?”

“It’s fine Arthur.” You said shaking your head, looking down.

“No, no it’s not you just- you just got out of a relationship and-“ He lets out a frustrated groan as he runs his hand through his hair. His other hand crushing his hat in his fist. “I was outta line.” He said, his gaze falling to the ground as he hung his head.

“I just- I can’t be a rebound Arthur.” You said, shaking your head as you looked up at him.

“A what?” He asked, his brows furrowed as he met your gaze. “Is that what you think this is?” He scoffed, looking down.

“If that’s not what this is then what is it?” You asked, your brows furrowing as you crossed your arms. He sighed, meeting your eyes. He looked wrecked, his chest heaving as he chewed his lower lip.

“I-“ he sighed, putting his hat back on. “I like you y/n, a lot.” He confessed, his hands resting on his hips. “More than I should.” He said mostly to himself as he shook his head.

“But Mary-“

“Mary and I have been done for months.” He said cutting you off. “We were both stringing each other along even though we didn’t love each other.” He sighed, running a hand down his face. “We both… well we both had feelings for other people.” He admits, his eyes holding a sort of desperation. Like he was silently pleading you to believe him. Your heart was pounding in your chest. “When I heard you were single I didn’t want to miss my chance.” He sighed.

Your mouth hung open like a dead fish, not the most attractive thing after someone just confessed they had feelings for you. “I-“

“Don’t feel like you gotta say nothin’.” He said, holding his hand up. “I understand if you don’t feel the same way.” He said, pursing his lips. You shook your head, rushing over to him and slamming your lips against his. Your hands wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him closer. His hands immediately found your waist, holding you against the hard line of his body.

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” You asked breathlessly, a grin spreading across your face. He blinked, the gears slowly turning in his head.

“Why didn’t you?” He asked with an equally breathless chuckle, his thumbs rubbing against your hips. You shook your head, grinning as you rested your forehead against his.

“Didn’t think you liked me like that.” You admitted, your cheeks flushed, the cold chill nipping your nose.

“I’d be a fool not to.” He laughed, cupping your cheek. He brought your chin up, pressing his lips against yours in a sweet embrace. Your toes nearly curling in your shoes. “Although, you do need some more practice with your dancin’.” He teased, “Maybe I could take you out sometime?”

“I’d like that.” You nodded, pressing your lips against his again. Arthur’s lips were more intoxicating than anything you could have ordered inside.

“You know we’re never gonna hear the end of it when we walk back in there.” You chuckled looking up at him.

“They’re probably too drunk to notice,” He mused, “besides, I want everyone to know that smile on your lips is cause of me.” He said throwing his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close as he kissed your head.

[ronearoundblindly]

U've been a literal trooper. All the drabbles are so intriguing, I could never. Can you write a fight and makeup for Steve? Since ure the angst queen this won't be in better hands with anyone else. Happy birthday, hope it's not belated yet?

Thank you for the bday wish, and it was not belated when this came in. My answer, however, is belated. Luckily, I think this is about the third- or second-to-last of the drabble asks...which rarely stayed drabbles. This is no different. >_<

Himbo (Warnings for angst, cursing, and not enough editing probably) ~1.3k

“I’m not stupid,” Steve shouts.

“I never said you were,” you push back without turning around at the sink.

“You called me a himbo.”

“It’s a joke, Steve.”

“Not to me, it’s not. Do you know how that makes me feel? I am all too aware that you have three advanced degrees and the last class I passed was in nineteen-thirty-seven. I don’t need to be reminded that you’re better than me.”

“Better than you?!” You finally round on him with a shriek two octaves too high. “You don’t get reminded every day by reporters and fans across the entire planet how lucky you are to be a complete package of cute little details that belongs to someone else. Thank god I got those three fucking degrees of lord knows I wouldn’t even deserve to be talked about much less date you!

“They go on and on about how I’m not good enough for you, but I make one completely and obviously inaccurate joke about you maybe—possibly—minutely not being good enough for me, and it’s call the fucking fire brigade?! Sorry, but welcome to my world, Rogers.”

“Yeah, but I never said those things to you. And you just said that about me in front of my friends.”

“Oh, so Natasha isn’t my friend, too? Good to know.”

“Keeps, you earned all this. You went to school. You built up your abilities and knowledge and all that.” Steve leans against the countertop, staring at the floor. “I just…didn’t die until some other, highly-intelligent, educated doctor came around and made me.”

“Horseshit, pity party.”

Steve doesn’t look up; he just crosses his arms across his chest.

“Well, the serum clearly didn’t make you better with women, so you’ve had to learn all that yourself—keep workin,’ bub. And the serum didn’t teach you military strategy. And it didn’t teach you empathy.” Your tone eases as you approach him. “It also didn’t magnify your sense of humor, so I’m gonna stick with my earlier statement of you are a himbo.”

You slowly approach and tuck your hand around one prominent and tense forearm. You can feel him breathe heavily. “And I love that about you. It’s one of the only things that makes me feel like we’re equals…because I technically stole Cap from the world. People don’t like to think you don’t belong to all of them, Steve, but if—I mean I take comfort in knowing you’re still like lots of men. I don’t feel like such a cheat then.”

“You’re not a cheat,” he moans, moving his hand to take yours.

“And you’re not dumb, Sketch. I shouldn’t have said it like that, but…I get torn down a lot. I don’t like feeling like I’m down here alone while you’re the Golden Boy on a pedestal because then I think…how can someone way up there think much of me.”

He’s soft, brushing his thumb down each of your fingers. “You know it’s not me though. I don’t say that stuff to you. It’s not true.”

“Steve. When was the last time you outright told a journalist they were wrong about me?” You let him think for a long moment. “Never.”

“Tony always advises us not to engage that kind—“

“You don’t openly defend your fiancé, but I’m supposed to grovel after saying a joke, in private, to one of your best friends who agreed with me and who—both of us—love you, as you damn well know?!”

How you got so riled up again, you’re not sure, but it feels like this is a long time coming. You’ve suppressed a lot of anger towards the media since day one of dating Captain America. You never meant to hurt his feeling or hijack his argument, but it just doesn’t feel fair to apologize for one word after being berated by thousands for months.

Steve returns to leaning against the counter. “I’ve been a media prop before. I’m not going to talk about my private life to make them a buck.”

“But they do make a buck, Steve, and they make it by saying I am the prop.” You want to scream, but instead you force the pressure far away so you can get your point across. “That’s not what I care about though. They’re gonna do or say whatever the hell they want. I can’t change that. You can’t change that. Tony is the only one who legitimately might know how, but still…

“I’m sorry. I was wrong to call you that. I didn’t mean to harm you. I meant—“ you hate admitting this is still something you need “—I only meant to build myself up a little. Just shouldn’t have done it by knocking you down, and I am sorry about that, Sketch.”

By this time, you’ve stepped back to the other side of the kitchen, hand waving to and fro to help fling off nervous energy.

Steve still doesn’t get—and has never really understood—how you can be so insecure. He sees you be confident one minute and then experiences your deflation as your energy fades. He’s gotten to know a much wider swath of humanity than most, and he struggles constantly with the right words to explain why you are so special to him.

Because it’s everything about you.

It’s anything about you that teaches him something new or shows him a different perspective or reminds him of the good and joy in life. It’s his most desperate wish that he show you what you mean to him, and with any luck he’ll succeed someday. He still doesn’t know how to do that, and it makes him feel like he never will when you call him that name.

People lash out. They aren’t perfect. You aren’t perfect, and he does know that. Hell, he just lashed out because he’s not perfect. He wants to be in your eyes though. He wants to see a magnificent reflection of himself so that he can believe it, too, and tonight, he saw the opposite. He felt small again, he felt rejected, and the worst part was that he felt rejected by you.

Except he’s learning something in the process. 

“I’m sorry, too,” Steve finally says, reaching for your waist. 

The more he thinks about what you’re saying, the more he recalls his own life in the ‘30s. He would watch girls at the dance hall while Bucky flirted. He saw them sit hopeful and ram-rod straight trying to catch the eye of a fella…but Steve’s now thinking about how so many girls didn’t look around at multiple guys. They focused on one, and when that particular fella didn’t make his way over, when each girl felt rejected, she deflated. She wasn’t really interested in just being nice to everyone who did approach for niceness’ sake. She just wanted to feel seen by the guy she was interested in letting see her.

It’s exactly the same thing he always sought out: the right partner. Steve may not have been as active searching for her, but they were all looking for something real.

No one wants to accept less.

No one wants to be less than what the right partner deserves.

“Call me whatever you want, doll. I can take it.” Steve relish how different it is to be around you versus everyone else. You make him so excited and so nervous and so calm. You’re just right for him, and he hates to think you don’t know that every second of every day. 

“Just please, Keeps, promise me something?”

He waits until you whine a little in acknowledgment.

“Tell me when you feel this way. I’ll talk you right back up to the sky.” He nudges you to raise your head and look at him. “I’ll do that all day…for you.”

And then Steve captures your lips for an oh-so-tender, bone-rattlingly passionate kiss that only a bimbo would mistake for anything short of true love.

[frogking17]

Why are you here? - monkie kid au

Wukong has hurt so many people in his life and today he hurt another and destroyed a family as well. He really needs a friend right now but will his ex and enemy be able to help?

This is the start of my happy family au

Read on ao3

Wukong numbly flew back to his mountain on his cloud, ignoring the cheers of the villagers below him. This victory felt hollow, and no amount of celebrating will change that. As he flies wind whips past his face causing a numbing chill to course through his body, feeling like ice spreading through his veins.

When he finally gets to his home Wukong stands in front of the stone mansion, staring at the grand building that hasn’t felt like home in a very long time. He takes a deep breath, allowing his glamour to melt away, in an attempt to calm himself. The all-consuming cold dissipates leaving a cocktail of emotions that Wukong doesn’t know how to control. He walks into the mansion and grabs a chair so he can slam it into the wall. He does it again, and again, and again, until the inside of the mansion has been smashed to pieces. The lavish wooden furniture reduced to splinters and stone slabs now pebbles. It had felt good to destroy the home that held so many hurtful memories, but it wasn’t enough, the tsunami of emotions felt like they were crushing Wukong. He paces around the room trying to take deep breaths in a fruitless attempt to stop the tears from flowing. However, instead his breaths come out ragged and more like sniffles as tears flow down his cheeks.

He slowly sinks to the floor as he gives up on stopping the tears and starts silently sobbing while wrapping his arms and tail around himself. He thinks about how terrible person of a person is, about how he just ruined not only his brother’s life but also the life of his wife and son. Princess Iron Fan is going to have to raise Redson by herself because of him!

Wukong doesn’t know how long he spent crying on the floor but eventually he hears a cocky voice call out “oh Wukong!” He sniffles trying to get a hold of himself while rubbing his eyes raw to get the tears to stop, he didn’t want Macaque to see him be so pathetic. However, Macaque came storming into the room before he could even put a glamour on. Macaque pauses in shock when he sees him, making Wukong turn away dejectedly. He knows what he must look like.

He looks pathetic…

Deep crimson eyes that became bloodshot because of all his crying. His fur matted and unkept from all the years he refused to allow anyone to touch him after losing everyone close to him. Scars, fresh and old, littering his body from centuries spent fighting.

Wukong can hear Macaque cautiously creeping closer but refuses to look and meet his eyes. He doesn’t want to see the rightful disgust and hatred that Macaque must feel towards him after having hurt him. Macaque worriedly asks Wukong “peaches? What’s going on? Are you okay?” Then starts reaching for Wukong’s arm, hoping that he might be able to comfort Wukong in some way. However, Wukong recoils from his touch and stands up so he can put distance between him and Macaque.

When Wukong talks his voice is wobbly even though he is clearly trying hard to hide it. He turns and glares at Macaque before spitting out “what are you doing here? I thought I had made it clear after the 50th fight that you weren’t welcome here!”

Macaque growls and snaps back, “oh I’m so sorry your majesty for showing some sympathy, next time I find you alone and crying I’ll leave you to your self-pity party!” Part of Wukong is happy that Macaque’s yelling at him; he deserves the hurtful comments and snide remarks after what he did.

However, another part of Wukong, the more prideful half, can feel his blood boil. Wukong rolls his fists up, feeling his claws dig into his skin, when he yells “don’t act like you care about me!” Macaque steps back in shock at Wukong’s outburst and before he can retaliate Wukong continues “after centuries of us fighting and you throwing hurtful insults and calling me every name under the sun, you don’t get to mess with my heart and trick me into thinking you care… because if you really cared about me, you wouldn’t have used your second chance at life to make mine miserable!”

Macaque looks conflicted on what to say back. This had been the first open conversation they’ve had in years, and he doesn’t want it to turn into a screaming match like all the times they’ve talked since Macaque’s death. He bites his lip nervously before cautiously asking “Wukong please tell me why you were crying?... I promise I want to help.” Wukong, has his tail wrapped around himself while glaring at Macaque suspiciously. Macaque thinks he looks like a cornered animal, and it breaks his heart a little knowing that he’s the reason Wukong feels the need to protect himself.

Wukong’s tense posture loosens when he sees Macaque trying and be vulnerable. However, the thought of what he did to his brother makes him start sniffling again. Wukong desperately whips at his eyes not wanting to start crying again and possibly annoy Macaque. When Macaque sees Wukong crying again he starts to panic, quickly rushing to Wukong’s side and shushing him “hey peaches it’s okay, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Wukong sees Macaque hovering next to him, unsure if Wukong would be okay with him touching him, before wrapping himself around Macaque and sobbing into his shirt.

He had always been clingy when he was sad, so the sudden hug was predictable. Though Macaque was surprised at how short Wukong was, when he came into the room, he could tell Wukong didn’t have his glamour on. His prominent red eyes beginning the first indicator, but his fur was now a softer, more natural, brown. No longer the sparkling, fake yellow… and his freckles were back! When Wukong returned from Heaven Macaque had noticed the changes to his friend’s appearance. Wukong had claimed being in Heaven had changed him mentally and physically but now it was clear that was a lie. He never told Wukong how much he missed him being shorter than him or how cute he found his freckles; thinking Wukong was happy with how he looked and wouldn’t want his comments.

Macaque is ripped away from his daydreaming by Wukong mumbling quietly “I had to trap Demon Bull King today… I had to betray my brother.” Wukong’s voice wavered at the end. To try and comfort Wukong he hugged him tighter to his chest. Then, knowing that Macaque wasn’t going to run away, Wukong cautiously unwrapped his arms from around Macaque’s back so Wukong could slip then around his neck. Wukong had stopped crying, leaving the two in silence as they clung to one another. They know that there’s no logical reason for them to continue hugging but the idea of letting go sounds like torture.

Neither of them knows how long they spent just holding each other but eventually Wukong pushes Macaque away. Wukong could feel Macaque tighten his grip around his waist while hiding his face away in the crook of Wukong’s neck. Gently Wukong pushes against Macaque’s shoulders while whispering “I’m not leaving I just want to look at your face when I ask this”, thankfully this time Macaque leans back, however, he still has a death grip on Wukong’s waist. Wukong takes a shaking breath before sheepishly asking “why are you helping me?... I don’t deserve this, I hurt you...” Wukong stops before whispering a shaky “I killed you.”

Macaque freezes before laughing manically. An upset Wukong whacks his shoulder and Macaque starts to calm down, wheezing “I’m sorry, this isn’t funny I just…” He takes a big calming breath before continuing in a more sincere tone “when I came back the first thing I thought was ‘is Wukong okay?’… because the idea of you being hurt terrified me… then I saw you had moved on, had a life without me, I was mad at first… but now all I want is to be a part of it.” Wukong reaches up and cups Macaque’s face. He’s forced to: look into Wukong’s bloodshot eyes; see his sun kissed and tear-streaked cheeks; and stare at his chapped lips. Wukong looks like a mess but to Macaque he’s never looked more beautiful because no matter what this is Wukong, not some glamour.

Nervously Wukong smiles and sounding a little like he’s in disbelief when he whispers, “I want you in my life, I always have, just as anything but my enemy… I love you too much for that!”

Macaque knows he’s probably smiling like an idiot but after so many years of him believing Wukong didn’t want him, maybe even hated him, Wukong saying he loves him makes his heart melt. His tail is thumping from side to side as he pulls Wukong close to his chest and nervously whispers into Wukong’s hair “I… love you too!” Wukong tries to hide his sniggers, but Macaque can feel him shaking against his chest. “Go ahead you can laugh” he sighs in defeat.

Wukong takes a couple deep breaths to calm down before saying “I’m not laughing, I promise… I just find it cute that after all this time you still can’t say I love you without stumbling over your words.” Macaque huffs as Wukong snuggles into the crook of his neck, purring softly in content.

Loudly Macaque explains in embarrassment “there very important words and it’s normal to be scared of saying them!” Wukong continues to purr while gently linking his and Macaque’s tails together, “you tell em moonlight” he mumbles tiredly into Macaque’s neck.

Macaque looks around the destroyed living room while rubbing circles into Wukong’s back comfortingly before trying to cautiously ask “Wukong why did you say you ‘had to trap DBK’?” He knows he’s ruining the moment, but Wukong looked devastated when he found him in the destroyed mansion. He just wants to make sure that Wukong’s okay.

Wukong’s tail squeezes his, trying to find comfort, and whimpers out “Heaven said if I didn’t do something about my brother, they’d send their own soldiers to stop him and… I of all people know how ruthless they can be.” Macaque squeezes Wukong’s tail back to show he understands and that he won’t push for more information because clearly, it’s painful for Wukong to talk about right now.

After Wukong yawns Macaque decides to say, “maybe you should get some sleep”, before crouching down and lifting Wukong’s legs up so he can carry him bridal style. Wukong squeaks in surprise while wrapping his arms around macaque’s neck but doesn’t protest, so Macaque starts to carry him to what was once their shared bedroom. Macaque lets out a sigh of relief when he sees that Wukong didn’t trash his entire home.

Their bedroom was much the same to how it was while he lived here. A canopy bed on the wall opposite the doors, flowers and vines growing up the bed posts, with a nest of blankets and pillows in the centre. Gently Macaque lays Wukong down, watching as a tired Wukong tries to fix his nest. He looks up at Macaque nervously before mumbling “I know it isn’t the best… but would you like to join me?” Patting the space next to him. Macaque dives into the nest next to Wukong happily because Wukong’s nests, even when messy and half done, are amazing.

Wukong always uses the most fluffy and soft blankets with an almost suffocating amount of pillows. Plus, Wukong must have been sleeping in this nest for a while because it smells very strongly of his sweet, peach scent. Quickly Wukong arranges the pillows around himself, and Macaque before Macaque starts cuddles close to his back and purring, whispering in his ear “forget about the pillows, gem, and get some rest.” Macaque sees Wukong’s ears turn pink from embarrassment before allowing Macaque to drag him down into the blankets so they can get some rest.

MASTERLIST

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - November 26th

 Welcome back! I spent a few blissful days off work with the kids and reading between writing, so check out the list and be sure to drop your fic authors a kudos or comment!

***Marks my recent favorites 

~*~

C.A.T. by Becci_chan

“What do you have in mind?” Steve asked and Clint’s grin never meant anything good.

“C.A.T.”

“Cat?”

“No, C.A.T. - Captain America Trivia,” he clarified and looked at Tony, awfully pleased with the acronym he had come up with.

Fight me, Date me by himboplantdad

This is literally just a happy, fluffy one shot I made so I can get back into fanfic writing. Tony and Steve fight. And then, somehow, things turn a little sweeter.

It's simple and not meant to really go anywhere, but if it does well then I might add more just because? Either way, thoughts are appreciated. Thanks!

will you still want me (when i'm nothing new) by meidui

It's the night of their wedding rehearsal dinner and Tony doesn't love his aging. Steve does.

your eyes look like coming home by ArabellaAM

To this day, Steve still remembers his first thought —the first thing he yearned for— when he woke up in the 21st Century. He still hadn’t found out he was in the future; he hadn’t processed that what had once been his present was now the past. He hadn’t even started grappling with the alien concept that what he had never expected to live to see had become his present.

Even before any of those thoughts appeared on his mind, a more simple, instinctive one had shone brightly.

He just wanted to return home.

Or, where steve wants to return home, only to finally realize he's already there.

eyes closed forever to find you by meidui (orphan_account)

It can’t all be pain, but so what if it was? The hurt always felt a little like love anyway, when it came from Steve.

everybody needs some affection by meidui

It's for Steve's sake, Tony tells himself as he befriends Bucky. (But then it isn't.)

Just This Once by DobbyRocksSocks

Steve’s coughing up flower petals, and Tony just wants to know who they’re for.

Magnetic North by msermesth 

Tony joins Steve on his post-Secret Empire road-trip-slash-pity-party.

Turns out the road home is paved with a lot of arguments and sex.

Don't Be Afraid To Look by VenomousSoliloquy

Steve is a super soldier, it shouldn’t be so easy for Tony to move him across the room. Yet, with surprising speed and grace, he’s forced back, Tony’s hands on his biceps until finally he’s pinned against the wall. Steve barely remembers to breathe as Tony leans in, seeming to scent at his neck, and then he feels the lightest prick of something sharp against his pulse point, before Tony is leaning back. Leering at him with blown, dark eyes. There's a hunger there.

Tony parts his lips to drag in a breath and that’s when he sees them, the sharp points of what can only be fangs glistening just beneath his upper lip. Looking dangerous and lethal at the same moment that they look fantastically tantalizing. It’s a shock when the realizations fully hit him.

Tony is a vampire.

And Steve?

Steve is achingly hard.

And Time Can Do So Much by JenTheSweetie

"I really shouldn’t be talking to a figment of my imagination,” Steve said. “Sam would be reading me the riot act. I can hear him now. Therapy works wonders, you know.”

“Sounds like Wilson,” Tony agreed. “And therapy does work wonders. You might want to look into it, once it becomes a thing in a couple of years.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Steve said.

 A few years after Steve moved permanently back in time, he started having conversations with Tony again.

A Meeting of Minds by Nix (CrimsonQuills)

As it turns out, the Extremis hadn't quite finished rewriting Tony's brain. The only potential fix has...consequences.

monsters of sea & sky by Areiton

Tony remembers this: the beginning, when he swam through oceans deep and unsullied and Steve walked the new earth, his steps shaking the foundations.

Tony remembers this: a boy with wings flying too high, and crashing down while he watched, helpless to do anything but hide him from the gods.

Tony remembers this: a snow frosted lake and the Changeling who walked through court and watched him with bright wanting eyes.

Tony remembers this: the high seas and bloody tides and a pirate’s smile, watching him from the ship’s deck.

Tony remembers this: a war that shook the world, and a boy who should never have been there and diving, diving ,diving, too far.

Steve remembers--nothing. But his shoulders itch like wings should fill them and the world feels too small for everything he believes, and there’s a man with a shark sharp smile and predatory eyes and Steve wants to lose himself in them.

Over the eons--they were monsters and myth and men, but more than anything--they have loved each other.

-

Five times Tony tried to save Steve. And one time Steve saves Tony. With a monstrous and reincarnated twist.

Drawn together by Lacerta

'why America?'

Steve was actually proud of the pseudonym's meaning, but whenever he tried to explain it out loud, it sounded infantile.

'You're gonna laugh.'

The response came faster than Steve managed to type his next message.

'promise im not'

'It's because whole America, if not the world, should thank Tony Stark for what he did, and my graffiti is a way of showing him that America really is grateful.'

Out of Order by elwenyere

After Tony and Steve hook up in the Tower elevator, both of them are totally cool with keeping it casual. Totally, totally cool.

hey there demons, it's me... ya boi by starksnack 

this week on buzzfeed unsolved tony and steve investigate four haunted locations, and maybe find more than just ghosts.

Maybe This Time by msermesth 

Tony’s better now. You can even say he’s superior. But all the money, alcohol, and sex can’t stop the incursions, and when his world is destroyed, he ends up on an earth ten years younger than his own.

One where Steve goes by the name of Nomad.

If there’s one thing Steve’s good at, it’s reminding him of what really matters, and maybe that makes Nomad the person Tony needs if he's going to save the universe.

[burnedbyshoto]

bakugou leaving reader for the unknown, for his dream, because where they were wasn’t good enough, it was a hindrance on his future. it wasn’t so much that he hated his hometown, the people, or even you — he loved you, after all — but he just could never keep himself tied down to the place he was trying to outgrow.

he leaves for university, in the big city, a campus that is known for making the best, creating trailblazers in every field imaginable, and when he leaves at the age of eighteen, he doesn’t come back. all he remembers is the shocked look on your face and the helpless tears streaming down your face when he broke up with you.

it’s been twelve years, and he’s thirty now. he changed his number when he got to the new city, only keeping touch with his parents out of obligation than anything else. it’s short phone calls, three minute conversations of mitsuki scolding him for not calling enough, for never visiting, masaru trying to gently express their concerns for their only son, and of course, bakugou saying he needs to leave.

his parents are strangers to him, practically, and whenever they try to speak of his past life, the one he exchanged away for the current CEO position he’s found himself in, he hangs up. he doesn’t want to hear it, he doesn’t want the bitter pit in his stomach when they even begin to speak your name.

but they haven’t mentioned you in years.

but the thing about katsuki is, unfortunately, his attitude.

thirty years old and a prominent CEO of a company no older than four years old and yet already a billionaire? practically unheard of. sure, people, normal people, praise him for it, but the board? men who used to people like katsuki don’t praise him.

they hate his harsh attitude, his ridiculous will power, and necessity to do everything, and somehow… katsuki gets put on a leave of absence for a minimum of a year.

at first, it’s fine. bakugou spends the newfound free time traveling, seeing the world, doing things he never was able to because he was building his empire. but three months of nothing leads him to grow restless, bored, and the worst feeling in the world crawls into the pit of his stomach and he realizes in month number five what it is.

for the first time in his life, bakugou katsuki is: homesick.

so he goes home, trading the concrete jungle and modern technology for dirt roads and rusting machines. it’s just for a moment, he says as he sees the life he left behind ages ago.

it’s much slower in his hometown, people much more open and conversing with one another instead of cellphones like he’s grown used to. he isn’t quite ready to knock on his mother’s front door so he goes to the general store and walks straight to where he just knows his past time favorite snacks are.

to his total surprise (notice the sarcasm?) it’s right where he remembered it was through the cobwebs of his memory. there’s one bag of spicy corn chips left and as he reached for it, another hand goes for it too.

he freezes for a bit, eyebrows furrowing as he looks at the person who’s hand is connected to the bag of chips he wants.

but he stops breathing for just a moment.

it’s a young girl, most definitely no older than twelve, with your face. it’s exactly the same. but unlike you, the girl had ash blonde hair and deep red eyes.

the girl blinks eyes looking taken back and slightly lost, as does bakugou, and then as if finally caught up on the situation of things, she scowls.

“hands off the chips, old man! I got here first!”

the magic is gone and bakugou feels his eye twitch as he reels backward.

“what the hell did you just say to—?!”

“I said hands off! arent you too old to be eating chips anyways?! you’re practically a million years old, eat the lame corn nuts or something,” she scoffs rolling her eyes as she tucks the bag of chips under her arm.

“aren’t you some shitty little brat!” bakugou hisses, his hand twitching with irritation. “don’t you know to respect your fucking elders.”

“ain’t nothing to respect from what I can tell!”

“aiko, hurry up,” a voice bemoans from behind the aisle and bakugou feels his chest constrict in the weirdest, most heart aching way as you walk around the corner with an armful of party supplies. “we have to get to your grand—”

bakugou stares at you, and you at him. the tension and silence so thick and heavy on the both of your shoulders and tongues.

in the twelve years he’s been away, bakugou has had other relationships. most of them due mostly to friends insistence, and others mostly just because he wanted a warm body nearby. but no one could ever match what you meant to him, not that he could have realized that because he could never think back to you. you were his past, not his present, not his future.

and bakugou was suddenly feeling a lot of things, thinking a lot of things as he looked between you and well… aiko.

“y/n,” bakugou’s voice is hollow, almost unbelievable. “i-is she — are we—?”

“this is my daughter, y/l/n aiko,” you say, steely calm and dangerous. the warm smile you were wearing moments ago clean off your face and your eyes were like glass — shiny, unemotional. “she was born after you left, so you never got a chance to meet her, did you?”

“y/n—“

“y/l/n!” you snap, face still void of emotions. “you don’t have that right anymore.”

bakugou stiffens for a moment, but he knows that you’re right. “y/l/n,” he tries again, your last name a word he’s never had to use in his entire life to address you. “how old is she?”

“mama,” aiko whispers, eyes glaring at bakugou as she stand protectively in front of you, fingers digging into your blouse. “I wanna go now.”

your eyes drop from bakugou, and he watches as a strained but kind smile is expressed to aiko as you press a kiss to her forehead. “okay, go pay for these things for me, will ya? tell tayo-sama we’ll pay him back tomorrow. i’m going to finish this conversation with… with my old classmate.”

aiko looks between you and bakugou, eyebrows furrowed with unsaid questions but she nods, grabbing the things from your arms and going to the cash register. bakugou keeps his gaze on the young girl until your fingers dig into his bicep and your pulling him into a corner that he had definitely made out with you in ages, lifetimes ago.

“what are you doing here?!” you hiss in a near terrible whisper, face frazzled and overwhelmed. “you’ve never been back home! what’s different?!”

“is she mine?!”

“no!” you shriek, fist hitting his chest. “she’s not yours! she’s mine! she’s not some claimable object you get to collect years later!”

bakugou stiffens but also feels like he melts with guilt under those words… youre right. he has no claim to her. all he did was give her life but it was a life where he was probably nothing more than an empty space in. but he looks at you, millions of emotions swimming through your watery eyes, and the snarl on your lips as you stand before him as if you could do anything.

“i’m… i’m sorry, you’re right,” bakugou says, lips pressing into a thin line.

“you shouldn’t have come back,” you laugh miserably, fingers massaging your temples. your tone is weak, defeated, as if for the first time in your life you felt the bottom of the pit. “why did you come back home?”

“mama!!!! let’s go already!!!” aiko whines by the entrance and you tremble in front of him before shaking your head.

“coming!” you call back to her.

bakugou steals another look at what is his daughter. a girl he never knew existed.

“do me a favor, bakugou,” you say passing him with small but domineering steps. “don’t do anything to make her suspect youre her father.”

it took a few hours, probably more, maybe less, but bakugou finally finds himself at his childhood home. he’s heart feeling like it was being swallowed as the front door opened and he saw his older mother and father standing at the entrance. bakugou couldn’t understand what they were saying as they welcomed him in, he could only notice how their home looked exactly the same… well except that the walls that were decorated with photos of him and only him were also covered with pictures of aiko.

“did you know?” bakugou asks before he can even say hello.

mitsuki stopped mid rant, her face moving from irritated mother to exasperated but pitiful silence.

“since she found out.”

“why didn’t you… why didn’t I know?”

“she tried telling you, called you multiple times only to be blocked,” masaru gently explains. “you always shut us down when we so much as mentioned her.”

“she even flew out there at one point but caught you making out with some dumb model too.” mitsuki inserts with a huff. “we tried, brat. you just…”

bakugou is silent, his heartbeat roaring in his ears at the thought of his initial monstrous attempt of deleting his past life. mitsuki sighs, sad and sullen.

“there was no point in telling you when you won’t listen.”

or the story of a one sided bitter ex as bakugou and reader are challenged at creating some semblance of a relationship because aiko pieces it together the moment they looked at each other. including a lot of angst, a six month time limit to rekindle a once in a lifetime love story because choosing between family and work is damn hard.

[bloodybigshiplucille]

Shame To My Name

Chapter 2: His Change

My head is pounding but I feel like my soul left my body. I’m watching the whole scene unfold like a stranger. Like I don’t belong. He’s back. He’s really back. He’s alive. My father is alive. Even though I can clearly see him holding my mother in his arms while laughing at something Carl is telling him I feel like I’m watching it from afar. Like I’m just watching a scene from a movie that isn’t real. With his return everything else returns as well. The fear, the anxiety, the feeling of never being enough. I thought I buried all those feelings together with him. I guess I was wrong.

„Excuse me…“ I whisper under my breath and slowly step away from the Rick Grimes Welcome Back Party. The second I’m out of sight I feel like I got the power over my legs back and I start running. I run and run until my legs and lungs are close to giving out. I walk along the forrest until I end up at the tiny lake which the group uses for washing up. It’s my new favourite place. The nature’s scenery is completely untouched, it’s like the world never went crazy. I can finally breathe properly again. The sun is warming up my skin. I hadn’t even realised that I was shivering. My fingers and feet feel like popsicles but on the other hand I’m also sweating like crazy. It’s just like a couple years ago when all I wanted was to get my dad’s approval and affection. No matter how outstanding one of my school projects were or if I had gotten the best score in my creative writing class something still earned disapproval. On a daily I struggled with shit like „That’s great, peanut, but creative writing won’t bring you far in life. Keep on setting your goals high but concentrate on the important stuff“ or „Carl got a C on his last maths test. Oh, don’t give me that look! You know how much your brother struggles with math! You always grudge him his achievements!“ The second I spotted the brown King County sheriff uniform I morphed back into my old shy and insecure self. I hate my dad for that.

Suddenly there’s a sound. Somebody is getting nearer. Maybe a walker will actually end my misery. I spin around quickly only to see my father standing behind me with uplifted hands.

„Sorry, peanut, didn’t mean to scare you“, he said apologetic.

„It’s alright“, I relax a little but my shoulders are still tense. „Thought you were a dead one.“

„Well, I almost was“, he laughs, I don’t. His face quickly drops and his eyes look down at me pitiful. „Are you okay? I turned around and you were suddenly gone…“

„Yeah, I’m fine.“

„You don’t have to lie to me. I can only imagine how hard it is to lose a parent only to find out weeks later that they’re alive. Take your time, it’s okay. I just want you to know that I’ve missed you. So much. I was always thinking about you, Carl and Mom. You guys kept me alive.“ He throws one arm around my neck and pulls me close.

„I missed you, too.“ Did I?

„I’m back now. Everything is okay again.“ He plants a kiss on my forehead. „Are you coming back with me to the camp? We’re having a bonfire with everyone.“ I hesitate for a second not wanting to leave my happy place by the lake. Dad notices my hesitation. „But hey, no pressure. You can join later if you’d like to stay here a little longer. Your family would love to have you there. Just watch out for walkers and be save, okay?“ He gives my arm a firm squeeze and gets ready to leave. They must have given this man something strong in the hospital because there’s a major shift going on inside him. First of all, he left me the choice to join a family event or not, second he trusts me to be save. On my own? That’s rich coming from the same man that fetched me in his police car from junior prom just to make sure that no sleazy boy is walking me home. The world has changed entirely, maybe my dad has, too.

„Wait! Dad!“ I call after him. „I’m coming with you.“

———————————————————————————————————————————

Back at the camp site, the sun is about to set, people start gathering around the fireplace. Shane is stacking up the wood whilst in a quiet conversation with my mom. From afar you could be fooled and think they’re just casually talking. If you look a little closer though you can clearly see mom fidgeting nervously and Shane avoiding her eyes likes he’s about to bust into flames when looking at her face. When mom sees me and dad arriving at camp she turns from Shane and offers her husband a bright smile. Only her eyes ain’t smiling.

„Hey, honey!“ Dad chirps happily and plants a kiss on mom’s lips while Shane suddenly seems overly interested in his task of building up the fire. „You can’t imagine how wonderful it is to have you back. You too, Shane,“ Shane slightly flinches but meets dad’s eyes. „I owe you, my brother. You saved my family, you saved me. I’m forever grateful, man.“ Dad holds out his hand and pulls Shane into a tight hug. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Shane more mortified. Hold on, scratch that. I’ve never seen anyone more mortified. The whole scene is just comedic. Like I’m just ready for the bubble to pop and for my dad to beat Shane’s ass. I don’t know whether I’m uncomfortable to the limits or whether I haven’t felt that entertained in the longest time. However, Shane’s „anything for you, brother“ totally tips me over the edge and I can’t keep a quiet snort in.

Immediately I feel mom grabbing my shoulder tightly. The death glare she’s giving me is saying it all: She knows. She knows that I know. „Don’t“, she mutters so quietly I almost didn’t catch it. This is gonna be interesting.

The bonfire turns out to be quite a calming event. Of course dad is the center of attention as he recounts the past couple of days. „Disoriented. I guess that comes closest. Disoriented.“ While talking about how he woke up and realised that the undead were roaming the streets dad keeps mom in a tight hug in one arm and Carl in his other arm. I sit next to them, close enough to belong to them but also distant enough to keep an eye on the rest of the group. While Glenn or Amy are basically attached to dad’s lips I notice some worried glances within the group as well. Obviously Shane turned into the definition of uneasy and avoids his best friend’s eyes at all cost, Dale’s face of concern doesn’t pass unnoticed either. He does listen closely to the latest member of our group, however, his eyes also bounce between mom and Shane a lot. What will happen if or when dad finds out about them? I gotta be honest, I’m a lot more concerned about the wellbeing of the group. From the perspective of a daughter I don’t care if mom and dad break up, it’s not like they’ve been the definition of happily ever after. However, the whole issue can cause a deep cut within the group. By all means I am not the biggest Shane fan, hell under normal circumstances I wouldn’t mind him being attacked by a zombie, but he’s strong, unfortunately smart when it comes to survival and a major provider of food. We can’t afford losing him. I’m convinced that Dale is having the exact same thoughts.

„Mom said you died“, Carl tells dad, more of a question than a statement. A short streak of panic washes over mom’s face but dad just smiles at our family and nonchalantly tells my brother that mom had every reason to believe that. The way Shane flexes his jaw doesn’t pass unnoticed either.

Two hours later people start heading for their tents. „You must be exhausted“, mom tells dad and strokes through his hair. The fact that Shane hasn’t burst into million little pieces yet is a miracle.

„I sure am. I can’t wait to finally fall asleep next to you again“, dad presses his lips to mom’s temple.

„Let’s go to bed then. C’mon, Carl.“ My brother was already half asleep in dad’s lap and barely opens his eyes when he gets ushered up. I follow behind my family towards our tent with Shane right behind me since his tent, which I don’t think he’s ever slept in, is next to ours. Just as mom opens the tent’s zipper I return my gaze to Shane.

„Good night, Shane!“ I smile wickedly at him. Shane frowns at me like he’s forming seven kinds of death wishes on me but quickly recovers and offers a forced smile when dad joins in and wishes him a good night as well. Maybe that action was a bit unnecessary but I gotta at least have some fun.

Inside the tent my parents slide into their compartment and I lay down next to Carl in ours. My brother is already sound asleep when my head hits the pillow. While Carl is snoring peacefully next to me I couldn’t be more awake. How did my life turn from really complicated to somehow less complicated despite a literally apocalypse happening back to really fucking complicated and all just because of one person? Shit really is hitting the fan non-stop. I try every method in the book to fall asleep. I count from 1 to 100 in three languages, I try a breathing technique Shane taught me and Carl when we got terrified of walkers outside of our window. Nothing works. It’s ridiculous. Sometimes I fall into a nap which lasts about five minutes but then I’m back to staring at the ceiling of the tent.

Suddenly I hear distant moving coming from my parents’ side of the tent. I try listening closely, maybe dad is strangling mom because she admitted cheating on him. There’s rustling. There’s a dull thump. And then… there’s a moan. No. No, absolutely not. No way. I shoot out of my sleeping bag, get my shoes on and storm out of the tent. I’m absolutely not listening to my mom moaning yet another man’s name. Especially not my father’s.

I wander around aimlessly trying to get the mental image of my mother fucking my dad like Shane isn’t sleeping a few feet away from them out of my head until I reach the site of our bonfire. The embers are still weakly smoldering and the smell of burned wood is still in the air. I decide to sit down for a while when I see a figure already sitting in the exact same place my dad sat earlier. The person must have sensed me, too, because as I step closer I notice Daryl Dixon staring at me.

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

[btssaysstudy]

Salvage - 2 || jjk/kth.

Summary: After your confession, it's safe to say that there was nothing left to salvage between you and Jungkook. However, things start to change when a new hurdler joins the team. Genre: college!au, track!jungkook, track!taehyung, track!reader, angst & fluff Pairing: jungkook x reader, taehyung x reader Warning(s) : unrequited love, alcohol (drinking) mentioned, swearing Chapter count: 4.5k

series masterlist || one ||

Jungkook may have stopped talking to you, but he never stopped noticing you. But Jungkook had been carrying his own guilt that stopped him from approaching you. Every time you greeted him, all he could remember was how he ignored your texts and left you in the dark.

He wanted to message you and tell you he missed you. He wanted to tell you that he never wants you to leave his side. But he couldn’t. Not when he was the one who pushed you away.

Just when Jungkook had gathered himself to approach you, he noticed you enjoying yourself more. He saw how you got closer to the other track members, and he didn’t want to disrupt your life.

He figured that things were going well for you and it was better that he stayed out of your life. As much as it pained him to not be by your side, he knew he had caused enough damage.

Despite hating it, he made the conscious choice to stay out of your life ever since. Jungkook had convinced himself that it was the right decision.

“Take a picture while you’re at it.” Hoseok’s teasing tone brought him out from his thoughts. Jungkook scoffed, “Wasn’t looking.”

“Definitely believe you. You know she still tells me that it’s her fault.”

“She does?” Jungkook’s eyes darted back to you. You were enjoying your lunch with your usual group but with a new addition - Taehyung.

He used to be that fourth member of the group.

“It’s not her fault, it’s mine…” Jungkook mindlessly uttered with a forlorn gaze as he watched you joke with your friends. Hoseok patted his friend’s back encouragingly, “Use your words on the right person. Those words are not mine to hear.”

“You know I can’t do that. She’s happy now and I hurt her too.”

Hoseok sighed, chugging his Sprite drink down. “I give up on you dude. Don’t be stupid. It’s not too late.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

He grinned at Jungkook, “You should.”

“Hoseok! Jungkook!” A deep cheerful voice disrupted their conversation.

“Hey, Tae! Yn!” Hoseok was the first to greet you and Taehyung. Jungkook greeted Taehyung and glanced at your direction to say hi but you seemed to be actively avoiding his gaze.

Confused and slightly taken aback, he bit back his greeting.

“I’ll text you guys the details later but just wanted to check if you guys are free this Friday night? I’m hosting a small birthday celebration.”

“Sure! I’m free!” Hoseok nudged Jungkook, “You’re free too, right?”

“Yea I’m free.”

Taehyung grinned, draping his arms over your shoulder. “Great! Well, we gotta head off for class now. I’ll text you guys the details later!”

“I’m beginning to think it’s too late, Hoseok.”

—

Even though Taehyung had said those words nonchalantly, they have been glued in your mind. It was hard to consciously stop trying to smile and greet Jungkook whenever you saw him. But you knew Taehyung was right.

You had been trying for so long to salvage your friendship but to no avail. Jungkook had clearly made it clear that he did not want you in his life.

“Yn! Got you your favourite drink on the way!”

You smiled, reaching out to accept the drink, “Thank you Tae! You didn’t have to!”

He gave a short cheeky giggle as he shrugged his shoulders, “I know but you had a long day today. Plus, you just had a good run.”

You tried to ignore the fluttering in your chest as you thanked him once more. Despite it only being a month since you met Taehyung, he had been around you almost every day. He didn’t attempt to hide his happiness when he found you were both classmates for your Wednesday class for the semester.

It was refreshing to have someone so expressive around you again. At times, it reminded you of Jungkook.

“Yn! Let me see your schedule!” Jungkook reached out for your phone only for you to pull back. “Why do you have to see my schedule?”

Jungkook pouted, slouching his shoulders, “Because I want to be classmates with you.”

You shook your head jokingly, “Someone’s being clingy.”

“I am! I love having classes with you.” Jungkook extended his hands out one more time for your phone, successfully grabbing it while you were caught off guard by his response.

“You do?”

Jungkook’s eyes looked up from your phone to meet yours with a bewildered expression. “Why do you sound so shocked? It’s not a secret I love spending time with you. You’re my best friend after all.”

“It’s all practice. You’ll get there too.” You took a big gulp to quench your thirst, “In fact, you’re a really good sprinter. I’m sure you’ll improve in no time.”

“Very kind words.” He teased, tossing a clean towel over your head, completely blocking your view.

Taehyung placed his arms around your sweaty shoulders, “Now it’s your turn to watch me die out there.”

You pulled the towel off your face and your eyes landed on Jungkook who had been looking at you from afar. Immediately, your eyes darted away, focusing back on Taehyung.

“Good luck on your run.” You playfully pushed Taehyung away and watched as he got to his position as the first runner.

Jungkook hated how comfortable you were Taehyung. That used to be you and him. The two of you used to be the inseparable duo. He used to be the one teasing you and handing you your bottle. Why wasn’t it him anymore?

Jungkook knew the answer and he hated it.

Something in him snapped when he started noticing you getting closer to Taehyung. He knew it could’ve been him instead, but he pushed you away unintentionally. Jungkook had screwed it up and he was now facing the consequences.

As he positioned himself as the final runner, all he could think about was how you used to cheer for his name at the top of your lungs.

But right then, he could distinctly hear your voice cheering another man’s name.

Unlike last time, Jungkook acknowledged the feeling in his heart. It was as if someone had punched him in the throat and momentarily made him lose his breath.

-

Surprisingly, ever since you had followed Taehyung’s advice, you have been feeling lighter and it was obvious in your actions and expressions.

“The last time I saw you was that huge birthday party which wasn’t long ago, but I feel like I’m talking to a different yn.”

“What do you mean?”

Hoseok tapped his pen to his chin several times, trying to find the proper words to describe it. You had booked one of the study rooms for the day since Namjoon was over at your place and you didn’t want to disturb them either.

“You just seem less burdened.”

“Less burdened?” You repeated, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. Hoseok nodded his head, as if he were agreeing with his thoughts.

“I didn’t want to bring it up, but Jungkook’s noticed that you have been avoiding him recently.”

You huffed, “I haven’t been avoiding him. I’ve just been appreciating those who are still by my side.”

He placed his pen down, letting out a long sigh, “Yn, you know that Jungkook still cares about you. I don’t get why you two can’t just talk it out—“

“You know why,” You said sharply, “I’ve given him space, reached out to him, always greeted him to get his attention. But what did I get in return? I get Jungkook trying to avoid bumping into me in every corridor.”

“Y-Yea… He hasn’t shown it in the best way but—“

“I’m tired Hobi, I’ve been trying for so long. I already feel guilty for screwing up our friendship because of some stupid crush. But at this point, I must be stupid for not reading the signs.”

Hoseok’s face showed it all. He felt bad for you. They all did. Every time Jungkook’s name was brought up, it always turned into a lecture of how you two should talk things out or how Jungkook misses you or how you should approach him one last time.

It got tiring at times, but you understood that Jungkook was their friend as well.

Maybe that was another reason why you liked hanging out with Taehyung. He didn’t know the full history between the two of you. Even if he didn’t, Taehyung never pressed to ask for more.

When you hung out with him, the topic was just you and him. It wasn’t about someone else or about any lecturing on life. It was just you enjoying life with Taehyung.

“It’s okay Hobi,” You glanced at your phone that lit up from a notification. Your tired expression instantly vanished when you saw his name. “He’s coming over right now!”

“Tae?” Hoseok’s pitiful expression morphed into something cheekier as he leaned back into his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “Is this why your aura has changed? Is something going on with you and Taehyung?”

You scoffed, flicking your wrist to dismiss his accusation, “Please, we’re just friends. Good friends, that’s all.”

“Right…” He replied, unconvinced.

“You better not tease me when he arrives—“

“Hello!” The door to the study room busted wide open to reveal Taehyung with his arms outstretched in a welcoming greeting. “What’s for dinner?” He asked, dropping his bag on the floor, and plopping right next to you.

“It’s 2pm, Tae. Why are you thinking of dinner?”

“I need some motivation to look forward to.”

“Well…” Hoseok’s eyes glinted mischievously, and you flashed a warning look his way. Immediately, he changed his mind, “Instead of having dinner at the dining hall, shall we leave campus for some good meal?”

“Sure!”

“Why not!” Taehyung smiled, “Sounds good to me.”

For the next 2 hours, you managed to study with complete focus on your tasks, the two surprisingly did the same. That was until Hoseok’s phone started ringing.

“Hello?” He answered, “Yea… I don’t know, I gotta ask them… Yn and Taehyung…”

Your ears picked up your name and your fingers stopped typing as you tried to listen in to his conversation on the phone.

Hoseok covered his phone’s speaker and whispered, “You guys okay with Jungkook crashing? Library’s packed.”

Taehyung noticed the way your body stiffened at the mention of his name. He figured that you didn’t tell him the whole story, but he didn’t want to pry.

“Are you cool with it?” Taehyung asked you in a low whisper. You didn’t expect Taehyung to direct the question to you and it was thoughtful that he had asked how you felt about it since you had briefly shared your history with Jungkook.

“Yea I’m fine.” You nodded your head, facing Hoseok as he informed Jungkook that he could join in.

Though you tried to make yourself look busy with your revision, your mind was far away from your syllabus. Having Jungkook over was not helping your new agenda on closing the chapter.

“Yn, have you covered this chapter?”

“Mm?” You peered over to Taehyung’s laptop, “Oh I’m revising that now actually.”

‘“Great! Should we go through it together?”

“Yea sure,” You were thankful to have Taehyung force you to focus on your work while waiting for the Jungkook to come over.

It didn’t take long for him to arrive, knocking on the door before entering as he greeted each of you. You willed yourself to make eye contact with Jungkook, casting a small smile as you said hi.

Jungkook was hoping that the seat next to yours was empty. However, he kept his expectations low knowing that Taehyung was present. It didn’t need a genius to notice that you had been spending lots of time with Taehyung. Jungkook always looked for you at the dining hall, though he would chicken out when you made eye contact with him.

So Jungkook immediately picked it up when he always found Taehyung next to you when he spotted you at the dining hall. It left a sour feeling seeing your group become a 4-member group again. It had been a while since your group was ‘complete’, of course, it was because of him.

“Jungkook, wanna join us for dinner?” Taehyung strikes a conversation with the fellow track member opposite him. You stayed out of it as you kept your eyes on your laptop screen, attempting to forget that Jungkook was in the same room as you.

Taehyung had completely given up on studying and he started conversing with Jungkook. As much as Jungkook didn’t like seeing you with Taehyung, he couldn’t help but admit that Taehyung was easy to talk with. He got along well with Taehyung which made him even feel worse that he always felt bitter seeing the two of you together.

As Jungkook’s eyes watched how your face lit up whenever Taehyung talked to you, a heavy feeling washed over him. Jungkook had made his mind that he had to talk to you.

He knew he had to reach out to you before it was too late.

He just had to figure out how.

—

“Happy advance birthday!” You and Miya cheered, raising both your arms to invite Taehyung in for a hug. His eyes lit up with joy, stretching out his arms to pull you both in for a hug.

“Thank you!”

Namjoon chuckled, shaking his head as Taehyung shimmied his shoulders, “Happy advance birthday Tae but I’ll pass on the hug – Alright, then!” Namjoon caved, chuckling as he wrapped his arms around Taehyung, giving a pat on his back.

“Come in!” Taehyung gestured energetically, “Let me show my house.”

It was a small gathering like Taehyung mentioned. He had only invited those that he was genuinely cool with, a few from table tennis and a few from track. Taehyung, being the welcoming host, gave a house tour, explaining how his parents had book a hotel for the night to let him fully enjoy this birthday celebration.

“This is the guest room, if the party ever gets too chaotic, feel free to use it.” Taehyung opened the door, allowing you three to peek into the room.

Right after the house tour, Taehyung led the way to kitchen, where all the food and drinks were. “We just ordered more pizza so don’t be shy, let’s not waste any food!”

“Yo, Tae! How do you set up this game console?” Someone hollered from the living area. Taehyung flashed a grin, “Make yourself at home! I’ll find you all later!”

“Sure, no worries!” Miya nodded, already filling up her paper plate. Taehyung glanced at you, reaching out to pat your arm, “See you later!” He mouthed before heading off to help with the game console.

After everyone grabbed their snacks for the late, you headed to the living area to find the birthday boy placing a racing game on the console.

“Yn!” Taehyung exclaimed while his eyes glued on the TV screen, “Sit beside me! Watch me beat the record.”

You chuckled, taking a sit next to the birthday boy. Miya and Namjoon followed suit, squeezing on the couch next to you.

“Yes!” Taehyung cheered, turning to you for a high-five which you quickly returned. His bright smile never failed to make the people around him happy. Being around him always felt light and peaceful.

“Hold up!” Namjoon pointed to the coffee table, “You have Just Dance too? Let’s play a match before Hoseok comes to wreck us.”

You and Miya laughed aloud, “Were you that affected?”

“Yes, yes I was. Let’s play around! You and Tae versus Miya and I.”

Taehyung glanced at you and shrugged with a playful grin on his face, “Sure!”

Sitting a couple meters away was Jungkook, downing his first cup of the night. His eyes torturing himself as he watched you partner Taehyung for one Just Dance round. The way your eyes lit up, your mouth upturned almost to your ears.

He knew you were happy. He used to see that look all the time.

After seeing it again, he knew he wanted to be the reason that you were smiling. But all he’s done the past year was made you feel guilty. Jungkook knew he had to change things before graduation.

“You okay?” A feminine voice brought him out from his thoughts.

Jungkook winced internally, momentarily forgetting that he had bumped into a friend at the birthday party.

“Y-Yea sorry, just a bit tired.”

“We could leave the party early if you’d like? I can help us tell Taehyung.”

Jungkook sighed, glancing at his empty cup, “Yea maybe—“ He stopped midway as he looked up to see you leaving your group to head to the kitchen alone, “I”ll get us a few snacks to energise.”

He placed his empty cup on the table, not looking back at his companion as he made his way over to the kitchen.

“Yn,” Jungkook’s voice sounded behind you, “We need to talk.”

Out of all things, you had not expected to hear Jungkook’s voice calling your name that night.

“Talk? We haven’t been talking for a year.” You let your words slip as you finished the remaining alcohol in your cup before refilling it with a non-alcoholic refresher.

Jungkook wasn’t sure if it was just the alcohol talking or if it was intentional. He shrugged it off and insisted once more, “Could we talk, please?”

You sighed, nodding your head as you swirled the drink in your cup. “Alright.” Looking up from your cup, Jungkook froze a moment, he noticed the drastic change in your eyes, from how your eyes lit up when you playing Just Dance, to how hurt they looked in front of him.

“I’m shocked that you actually approached me.”

“W-What?”

“I mean seeing how you’ve managed to avoid me for the entire year since I confessed—“

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t know how to react to it.” He admitted, “I was stunned and shocked. You were my best friend and to hear those words from you left me speechless.”

“I understand it definitely shocked you and I gave you space but afterwards it just seemed like you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

Jungkook frantically shook his head, “No, no! You misunderstood, I never wanted that. I never wanted to push you away.”

“But it happened.”

He grimaced, knowing that he played a big part in driving a wedge between the two of you. “I know… And I’m really sorry.”

“Then…” You bit your lip as you contemplated your next few words, “Why have you always avoided me ever since?”

Jungkook’s shoulders slumped as he leaned against the counter. “I just didn’t know how to approach you after all this. And after awhile, you seemed to be settling down with a new group of friends and… I didn’t want to disrupt that.”

“So why’d you approach me tonight?”

Jungkook’s eyes darted to the hallway down to the living area before back to you. “I just… I just want to make things right.”

“Make things right?”

“I miss us,” He admits through a heavy breath, “I miss the times when it was you and me. I know I haven’t been the best friend you’ve needed for the past year, and I regret that. But,” Jungkook takes a deep inhale in before continuing, “But if you’re willing to give me a chance to make things right between us, I promise I won’t screw things up.”

As each word came out from his mouth, you felt a lump grow in your throat as you stopped yourself from breaking down into tears. You have been waiting so long to hear those words from Jungkook — to hear that he still wants you by your side.

“It’s been a year,” You choked, “I don’t get why is this suddenly coming up now—“

Jungkook nodded his head as he ran his hand through his hair as an attempt to calm himself down. You could his own emotions getting to him as he blinked repeatedly to stop himself from tearing up.

“After seeing you with Taehyung, it just reminded me of our times together. I never stopped looking out for you ever since. You were my best friend and the past year always felt like something’s missing.”

Just as if you were moving on to a new chapter without Jungkook in the picture, you found him trying to write himself in it.

“I hope I’m not too late, yn. I mean it when I say that I miss my best friend.”

Jungkook cautiously took a step forward towards you, “I’m not asking for an answer now, but, would you consider it?”

You collected yourself and looked him in the eye, thinking of how to phrase your response. You had almost completely given up on the thought of salvaging your friendship with Jungkook that you thought it was the alcohol making you hallucinate the conversation.

“I’ll think about it—“

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you! Here’s your new cup, got a good mix in there.” A well dressed stranger waltzed into the kitchen and approached Jungkook with a cup filled with whatever mixers Taehyung had at the party.

“Oh, hello, you are?”

“Yn.”

She flashed a smile at you, “I’m Yuna, nice to meet you! Do you know Jungkook too?”

You glanced at him with his eyes begging you not to leave as your conversation with him was unfinished.

“Sort of. Sorry, I gotta look for my friends.” You tilted your head slightly towards the two to say goodbye, promptly turning on your heels to leave the scene.

You went straight up to the guest room, closing the door behind you to mute the loud pop music blasting in the living room.

Making your way over to the guest bed, you melted into the mattress, letting out long sigh as your palms covered your face.

Jungkook’s face planted in your memory as he reached out to you for the first time in a year.

A part of you wished he didn’t do it because you were just starting to make good progress moving on from that part in your life. You hated how much of an effect his words had on you.

As much as you hated to admit it, you never wanted to remove Jungkook from your life. Despite trying to give up, you always hoped that things would change.

Now with Jungkook being the one who approached you, maybe it was the right time to make that change.

The click of the doorknob startled you, jolting yourself up to see Taehyung enter the room.

“Had a feeling you’d be here.”

“Really?”

He shook his head, “No, actually Hoseok just saw you enter the room.”

You chuckled before letting your smile falter, eyes drifting to the wooden floor.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing Tae.” You looked back up to smile at him, “It’s your birthday party. You should be out there with the rest. I just need some time away from the loud music.”

Taehyung frowned, making his way over to sit next to you.

“They can entertain themselves. You wanna talk about it?”

“I never told you what actually happened with Jungkook.”

Taehyung knew you never told him the full story. He always had a feeling the story was missing information since the day you told him. Sensing that it was a sensitive topic, he never wanted to pry further. He simply nodded his head, staying silent to let you share on your own terms.

“I confessed to him a year ago. I made things awkward between us which is why we drifted. I tried to act normal and get things back to how it was, but I just made it too uncomfortable for him.”

His heart ached as your voice cracked at the end, sniffling to stop yourself from crying. “He approached me tonight, saying that he wants to make things right. You don’t know how badly I’ve been wanting to hear him say that. And to finally hear it,” You let out a bewildered chuckle, “Feels like maybe I had too many drinks.”

Taehyung pressed his lips into a thin line. A part of him had already suspected that something awkward had happened between the two of you. Even though he loved being right, he felt awful knowing that his suspicion was right.

“Shouldn’t you be happy then?”

“I should, shouldn’t I?”

“Are you not?”

“I am… But it’s just so unbelievable.”

Taehyung nodded his head, “The guest room is yours for the night to let it all sink in. That’s good news, yn. You should be happy! Show me that charming smile of yours.” He playfully nudged your sides, trying to get a laugh out of you.

You scoffed, slipping a small smile.

“There we go.” He clapped his hands together, “I’ll go get you water to hydrate and snacks so you can camp out here.”

“No, it’s your birthday party, I’ll come out—“

“My birthday wish is that you stay here and take the time you need to process whatever happened tonight. Could you grant me that?”

Taehyung gently took your hand in his, you nodded your head, “Alright, alright. Thanks Tae, I owe you one.”

“You don’t! You’re just granting my birthday wish!” He grinned before heading towards the door to prepare a special delivery for you.

Sitting alone in the guest room once again, your mind drifted back to Jungkook’s words.

Was there really a chance for both of you to return to how things were?

—

After that Friday night, he decided it was best to give you the weekend to think about what he said. Even though he decided to do that, he made him antsy. He knew he had to do something.

So when Jungkook spotted Miya alone at the dining hall, Jungkook had to approach Miya.

“Hey.”

Miya looked up from her food to greet the person only to then look around her surrounding, “Are you looking for Namjoon?”

“No, I’m actually looking for you.”

“Me?”

Jungkook timidly nodded his head, Miya shrugged her shoulders and gestured to the empty seat opposite her.

“Thanks… I need your help,” Jungkook fidgeted with his fingers, “I want to make up for the lost time with yn. I miss being with her.”

Miya sighed, placing her utensils down, “Jungkook… You don’t need my help for that, I’m sure yn will be more than glad to—“

“We had a… Awkward and tense conversation during Taehyung’s birthday party.”

She chuckled, “So that’s why she was acting strange after the party.”

“She was?”

Miya looked back to Jungkook and shook her head, “Nothing. But, I really don’t think I can be of any help.”

She knew how close you were and Jungkook was also one of her first friends in college, so she wanted to help. She knew how much Jungkook meant to you, even just as friends, she knew how important your friendship with Jungkook was to you.

A part of her had always hoped that she would see you and Jungkook together again. Miya watched Jungkook’s expression, sensing nothing but a genuine determination to make things right.

She shrugged her shoulders, “Alright fine, I’ll help you out.” ~~

taglist: @joydowninmyheart @picturethosesmiles @ilovethewayyourheartbeats

[bernadettefoxs]

friends don’t kiss me like you do

summary: lou and debbie have to fight their feelings for each other while working/living together + one very jealous lou miller.

length: long (and gay) enough

warnings: extreme fluff!! and a little angst

—

“Just leave it there, TamTam, Jesus.” Debbie spoke with an angry tone while Tammy was sitting at the other end of Lou’s couch, trying to fix Debbie’s heel that broke when she and Tammy ran home together after getting out of the cab on a rainy New York city night.

Debbie almost twisted her ankle stepping on a cobblestone and Tammy laughed, tugging her arm and helping Debbie steady herself, but one of her heels was now wrecked and the brunette was cursing under her breath, meeting an impatient Lou waiting for them by the door, whispering “what the fuck” when both women showed up looking like train wrecks, both a little drunk too. It was supposed to be a business dinner with one of Debbie’s old friends who worked at the bank, and it ended up with margaritas and endless vodka shots.

Lou was a bit hurt, not ever admitting that to anyone, that Debbie didn’t ask her to come with her, calling Tammy instead. Sure, Tammy was her best friend too, but she wasn’t Lou, and Lou wondered why not just ask her when Tammy had to leave four snotty kids at home and Lou was always just… there. She welcomed their drunk mess with tea and dry towels, and now she was watching the silly shatter from the kitchen as Debbie snatched the heel from Tammy’s hand with a giggle.

“Leave it to me, honey, I can do it.” Lou knew it was all part of the banter, but hearing someone else call Debbie those stupid pet names was one of the worst things she’d ever witnessed. It only made her wanna throw up, thinking she’d been somehow replaced by Tammy as the best friend, and maybe as something else too. And it hurt her even more that Tammy was her friend, and that now she was starting to act and think like an immature teenager. Put it together, Miller.

.

Lou was in love. She couldn’t deny it. As much as she really, really, truly wanted to. She and Debbie had decided on staying “just friends” until they could really work things out between them and also get the heist successfully done. But every time Lou let time pass carelessly she’d find herself attached to the brunette, physically, almost too many times.

It would either happen after Debbie had a rough day assembling new members for the team or after Lou didn’t have a good day at the club. They would always find comfort in each other after midnight when Lou was about to go to bed but Debbie always stopped her before the australian could even step into her bedroom.

It was 1am, Debbie was sure because she’d had dinner with Lou three hours ago when she came back from the club, and afterwards she texted Tammy good night, assuring her that she was okay and thanking her for the help with the banker guy the other day, “also, fuck you, I ruined one good pair of heels because you thought you were Usain Bolt in the rain.”

She heard Lou turn off the kitchen lights and knew the australian was headed to bed, and she suddenly lost interest in the cooking book she was reading. It was Lou’s and she wasn’t even so sure Lou herself actually ever read that thing ever, but it was something to kill her time.

“Lou? Can I sleep with you?” the whisper filled the silent living room. All the lights were out except for the yellow ray from the creepy skull lamp Lou had gotten as a gift from her brother Rusty, she put it on her coffee table at first not really knowing what to do with it and she would always find Debbie sitting by the corner of her couch, using the light to read in the dark. She liked to sit there because she could always see when Lou walked around the place.

Debbie’s eyes followed her like a flashlight and even after almost fifteen years of knowing that woman the effect the australian had on her was still the same. Lou didn’t change at all. Being in prison for five years, she missed seeing that on the daily, and to her surprise, the first night she spent with Lou felt like home again. She never got used to being without Lou. And Lou didn’t either.

It would all fade to black again when Debbie decided to distance herself from those feelings, from Lou. She couldn’t escape the fear of fucking things up with the most important person in her life, so she would pretend to look away when Lou looked at her with that look, wouldn’t go out with her even just to run some stupid errands when Lou asked her to, every moment did something to her and she couldn’t bear it anymore. She couldn’t bare being Lou’s sidekick, even if she knew she wasn’t just that to her.

“Can I?” she whispered again.

“You- uh-“ Lou looked her up and down, her body covered by the robe she hadn’t known the brunette borrowed from her. She smirked, thinking about how she too would often just grab some of Debbie’s clothes and not even give them back later.

“I know we’ve talked about it. It’s not that. I mean- I just can’t sleep. I’m probably reading this stupid book for the 20th time only because I can never fucking sleep. It’s hard, without…” Debbie’s eyes would start to get watery if she hadn’t known any better, feeling so vulnerable in front of her partner. But she felt grateful for Lou’s silly smile growing wider, and the pang of pity as well. Usually that would piss her off, make her feel like she was nothing, like people were always just trying to be nice to her out of politeness and not because they cared for her, but this was Lou. And she knew the truth whenever it came to Lou.

“Yes, c’mon. Leave the bloody book there.” Lou walked to where the brunette was sitting on the couch and helped her stand up, grabbing the book with her right hand and Debbie’s waist with the other. Debbie looked at her with guilt in her eyes.

“Lou, I…”

“Yeah?” she watched the blonde rub her eyes in a sleepy way before yawning and sticking out a hand to her in the most loving, Lou way possible.

“Nothing. Thank you.” she closed her brown cardigan tighter around her shivering body, taking Lou’s hand and walking upstairs to Lou’s room.

Lou let Debbie make herself at home as the brunette tucked herself in and waited for her on her side of the bed. Lou usually slept in the middle of the bed, but she didn’t mind this, at all. The room was a bit dark and had one big window that shone the night lights from the shore outside. Lou loved hearing the waves break inside her head and how the shadows coming from outside the window made living shadows on her walls, it always helped her fall asleep faster, but tonight she didn’t mind that either. This was one of those nights where Debbie was all she would think of. Touching her and having her scent all over her and the room, felt like she could stay like that forever, falling asleep in the brunette’s arms as she scared Debbie’s nightmares away.

She cuddled closer to her, feeling the Ocean sniff her neck as they held each other tight, and Lou covered both their bodies with the heavy white blankets.

“I think we forgot to turn off the lamp, Lou.” Debbie whispered as she felt the blonde run her fingers across her arms.

“What?” Lou glanced at her, confused, making Debbie flush at how cute her stupid little frown was.

“In the living room.”

“Oh. That’s okay, Debs. Just sleep, alright?” she kissed the crown of Debbie’s head and held her like that, letting Debbie get closer and closer. “And you never know, maybe Tam will wanna barge in in the middle of the night to try and fix your heel for you. She might need the light to see.”

“Lou.” Debbie warned, holding back a chuckle.

“Sorry. It’s true.” Lou laughed, turning her back to Debbie.

“Lou?” Debbie called again, almost too scared to speak up.

“Yeah, Debs?” she answered like a mother angry at her child, making them both laugh.

“I miss this.” Lou’s heart stopped, and she looked at those dark eyes facing her in the dark. She could barely see Debbie, but she knew every inch of that face and that woman even more than herself.

“You miss sleeping with me, Ocean? Well that’s fucking impossible because you’re always in my bed.” they shared a laugh and Debbie rolled her eyes.

“You know what I mean, Lou.”

“I do.” Lou could feel her heart break inside her chest like never before. They both knew what they felt for each other, and how they’d left things between them before Debbie went to jail, and they hadn’t walked so far from that point after she got out. Five years later. They just knew it was still there, all of it. The painful silence, the electric touches, the desperate exchange of looks in a crowded room. The longing.

But they had agreed on staying like this for a while and that was the plan the had to stick with no matter what. No matter how much they wanted to go home together after a party with the team and just jump at each other with kisses and teeth, no matter how bad they were in love with each other in a way that nothing else could ever live rent free in their minds like each other.

“I miss… sleeping with you.” Lou smirked, covering her face with her arm.

“We really had it all didn’t we?” the australian whispered.

“We still can.” Debbie said, almost like a plead.

Lou shook her head, lying with her back facing the ceiling and her elbows supporting her weight.

“We couldn’t figure it out back then, Debs. What makes you think we could now?” Debbie cupped her face, bringing it impossibly close to hers.

“We were young, Lou. And stupid.”

“Yeah, well-“ the blonde scoffed, thinking about a 19 year old Debbie Ocean kissing her for the first time. “We still are. Stupid, at least.”

“I wanna be stupid together.” her voice came out broken, her hands finding Lou’s above her brown locks. Lou smiled.

“You do?”

“Yeah. I really fucking do. I can’t be just friends. I wanna kiss you all the time and every fucking day and I wanna be able to tell people that I’m yours and you’re min-“

Lou’s lips met hers with a calm pace, both in a way of saying “please shut the fuck up” and “I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

“I wanna be stupid together, too.” Lou whispered, kissing her again, and again, and again, and again, until they were both finally deep asleep.

[dachis-demon]

Truth or Dare | Kenma

Read Start for it to make more sense. Kenma route. Other routes can be found in

truth or dare m.list

Word Count: 1.4k

warnings: 18+, clit spanking, degradation, slight humiliation kink, possession kink, temperature control, biting, mark up kink, and semi-public sex.

You sigh, deciding it was probably time you tell them. "I like Kenma, okay? But please don't tell him. He barely knows I exist, so I doubt he feels the same way." They both look at you sympathetically and assure you neither of them will tell him, but you sense something odd behind their supposed sympathy. This went on for a few rounds, their actions getting more and more suspicious by the second until the attention was once again back on you. "Y/n-Chan, truth or dare?" You, wanting to be bold, chose the riskier option. "Dare." Kiyoko looked you right in the eye, giving you a faux smile that lured you in a false sense of security. "Tomorrow, at Yachi's birthday party, I dare you to sit on Kuroo's lap until Kenma notices. Don't worry, I'll tell Kuroo in advance, so he won't gain any unnecessary thoughts or feelings." You were reluctant, wary even, but this would be a dead giveaway if Kenma actually did notice you, maybe even like you back. And that is the only reason you said, "O-Okay."

You had picked out your best outfit for this occasion, and after spending the whole night debating if the embarrassment was worth it, you also picked out your best set of underwear. You took a deep breath and clutching onto the bag containing Yachi's gift in it to hopefully calm down some of your nerves, you walk through the door of her home. The first thing you see is Kiyoko and Yachi, clearly waiting for you near the couch. And the second thing you see, is Kuroo and Kenma, sitting next to them. You set your friend's gift on the table with the others, take a deep breath, and then tread over with a confident façade plastered on your face. Kenma was playing a game on his phone, and Kuroo was whispering to Kiyoko, most likely about the little arrangement you all had prepared. They finally notice you, and Kuroo was quick to change his position into a man spread to make it easier for you to sit on. Your throat, suddenly feeling very dry, closed up, and your legs became wobbly. But, you pushed through it all, making your way over to the bed-headed captain, and plopping yourself right onto his open lap. You tried your best to contain the red-hot blush on your face and the shake in your hands, but your body denied all of your attempts to soothe yourself. "Hey, Y/n." Kuroo greeted, taking hold of your bare thighs to hopefully get Kenma's attention. The mention of your name had Kenma quickly glancing over to you, but then he did a double-take and his head shot up and glared at the big hands grasping your thighs. You decide to take it a step forward and lean back into Kuroo's chest, further fueling Kenma's growing irritation. "Yachi and I are going to get some drinks from the kitchen. Y/n, Kuroo, try to keep it PG." Kenma lets out a grunt, picking his phone back up, huffing as he aggressively taps the screen with his thumbs. Kuroo begins to gently stroke the sensitive skin of your thighs, the giggles coming from your mouth attracting Kenma's gaze again. You could almost feel the jealousy and rage radiating off of him, and that only egged you on further. You turned yourself around to face Kuroo, and rest your head under his chin inhaling the scent there. All that was left of Kenma's restraint snapped as he yanked you away from his friend and quickly pulled you into the nearest empty room, with only the worst intentions in mind.

"Filthy slut, teasing me like that, and with my best friend, of all people?" He backed you up against the sink, admiring the way you squirmed for him. "I-I don't know what y-you mean" You evade, letting Kenma's arms slam against the counter behind you. His breath was gently fanning over your cheek, his lips mere inches away from yours. One slight movement could connect your lips. "You think you deserve to be kissed right now, kitten?" The high-pitched whine that left your mouth made him smirk, moving away from your lips and instead heads towards your open neck. Kenma nibbles on your jawline, rutting his hardening bulge into you for added effect. The imprint of his cock rubbing against your dampened slit was enough to make you mewl out in impulse, wanting more of the delicious friction and more importantly, you wanted Kenma. Hearing your desperate sounds only pushed him further as he bit down onto your exposed collarbone lightly and began to suck, hoping to leave a mark for everyone to see once you both were done. Fingers grazed over your belly and then down the curve of your thighs before moving back up again to your cunny that was begging to be touched. "This cute little pussy is so warm, do you need some help cooling it down?" Kenma questions, looking into your eyes innocently while he taps the covered hood of your clit. "Y-Yes!" You respond, shivering when Kenma levels himself with your clothed cunt. He grabs the side of your panties and yanks them to the side, still looking up to you while he blows cool air onto your hot sex to watch you squirm at the contrasting temperatures. He moves on, directing the coolness at your puffy clit, the swollen bud throbbing from neglect.

You could easily see the strain of Kenma's cock through his grey sweats, a small wet spot evident from the most likely leaking tip making you feel hot all over. "K-Kenma, want your c-cock." You pout, eyes screwed shut when he licks a stripe up the seam of your cunny. "Hmm, is that so?" He replies nonchalantly, his hand going to push down his sweats. Your cheeks glowed as the bulge somehow looked bigger without the first layer of clothing blocking your view, and you can't help but wonder if it would be the same way when he removed his boxers. You flinch and twitch wildly as a slap echoed throughout the room, your little clit burning from the strike. You couldn't even hide the look of ecstasy that covered your face, nor did you want to. "Naughty kitty. Getting off to your little cunny getting slapped?"

The slanted eyes glaring up at you make you quiver in want once again, the wrenching heat in your tummy demanding something be put inside of you. "Yes! I'm your naughty kitty" You claim, eyes rolling back when he pinches your engorged nub as a reward. "Can this tiny little hole even take all my cock?" He hums, sliding down the last barrier of clothing preventing him from being balls deep inside you. "Yes, it can! I promise it can! Please fill me up, Kenma!" You cry, tears welling up in your eyes from the humiliation. Kenma stands to his feet, setting you on the cold countertop of the sink and leaning you back against the mirror. The tip of his dick taps your twitching little clit thrusting forward so the shaft rubbed the ball of nerves perfectly to give you that oh so wanted friction you had begged silently for minutes ago. You moaned out, watching as he pulled back once more, but this time sheathing himself into your tight cunny. Your gummy walls convulsed around him in a welcoming way, the wet warmth making his cock throb inside of you. "Yes! Thank you Kenma!" You call out, your walls clutching him so snugly he could barely move out. Kenma gives you no mercy, pounding into your sweet hole relentlessly and finally giving in to the itching urge to kiss you. His lips were searing hot despite blowing such cold air on your cunt earlier, but you weren't complaining. Your jaw gave way, letting your tongue fall out and your eyes roll back into your head, the pleasure becoming too much for you to handle. And the thumb that decided to press itself to your clit wasn't helping the sudden need to release. "W-Wanna cum! Please l-let me cum!" You plead, your tits bouncing the intense rhythm Kenma had set. Taking pity on you, he thumbs your little clit harder to force you into your orgasm. The fluttering of your walls milked his cock wonderfully, causing him to pull out and let his ropes of cum spray out onto your shirt. "Get ready, once we clean up, we're leaving. Make sure to let everyone get an eyeful of those pretty marks I left on you, kitty."

[warmau]

☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au doyoung late birthday post for mr. kim! i am never on time for these posts, apologies.  find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong | mark | jaemin | yangyang | yuta | sicheng | chenle | kun | yukhei

a sinking feeling has you rooted to the floor. staring at the lock of your front door as someone knocks politely over and over again.

“what are you doing?”

your mother’s voice gusts past you like a breeze, she leans over your frozen figure and turns the knob.

you step back to avoid being hit by the door and dread the light that washes over your mothers face

“doyoung! come in!”

he steps through and all you catch is a bit of side profile, hidden behind the gigantic plant he’s holding

“oh! that’s the orchid your mother was just up in a fit about? come here sweetie, place it on the kitchen table -”

his footsteps echo and you shrink a little, he didn’t even look at me. 

you’re thankful for your mothers insolent obsession with being a good host and trudge your way back to your room

doyoung is in your house. 

which is weird, the first time he was in your house - you knew, obviously, but he was uninvited. your mother didn’t welcome him through the door.

now - for the past month - after both his mother and yours had come to a unbreakable bond over their indoor houseplants 

doyoung has very much been a presence, an invited presence, a presence everyone but you seemed to be delighted about

“he’s such a nice boy, he’s spending his summers tutoring younger kids and i see him biking all around town.”

your mother gushes almost every time at dinner after doyoung leaves - delivering whatever ailing plant his mother has sent to yours to fix and play botanist with

you pick at your food

yeah, he’s a nice boy. that’s what makes this all so much worse.

now - you’re laying on your sheets with your hand on your stomach and staring up at the wall thinking very much the same thought.

he’s so nice, and so perfect, and everything anyone ever dreams of. why am i such an idiot for not wanting that?

you drum your fingers and again spiral back into the memory that keeps itself wedged between you and him like a piece of food that’s stuck so sternly between teeth, no pushing at it with your tongue helps.

summer starts in ten days, officially you know - by the university calendar. you’re supposed to be focusing on a final paper for some elective politics class you took, but you’re not. you’re staring at the back of doyoung’s neck. he sits in front of you for most lectures.

“hey, do you know anything about this military-first politics and nuclear armament essay prompt the professor gave us?”

doyoung turns slowly, blinking at you from behind his thin-wired classes, “yeah - it’s been the topic of discussion and reading for like a week.”

you know you sound kind of stupid to even ask - but you will admit, politics isn’t your thing and it seems to really be doyoungs - so you smile, with a please pity me kind of look in your eye. doyoung sighs, but he gets up and slides into the seat beside you - opening up the half blank word document on your laptop.

that’s it. that’s all it was going to be. doyoung helping you skid by, so that your summer isn’t ruined by a shitty grade. 

but that’s not what happens. at all. 

doyoung instead spends a lot of time helping you write a good enough paper to pull through a B-. 

that means a lot of alone time in the library, in study hall, in the empty halls of the school buildings where classes have ended and no one is around.

it’s a lot of being shoulder to shoulder with him, realizing how nice he always smells - how long his fingers are when they type - how he doesn’t have a significant other because no one except his friends ever end up interrupting you.

it’s the day after you get your grades for the semester, something about getting the paper back sparks a fire in you

you scope doyoung out at the coffeeshop and exclaim that you and him did it!

a couple of heads whip around, did it?, you quickly add some mumbling about the paper.

doyoung laughs, it’s the first time you’ve heard the genuine sound, because most of the time he just makes a half-sided smirk or chuckle.

you buy him an iced latte as repayment and somehow end up walking out of there with side by side.

doyoung asks if you live near by if you don’t dorm, you say you do. he does too. that’s weird - you’ve never seen him around the neighborhood.

after that you pretend it’s a blur. because truth be told it isn’t.

you and doyoung are going to be taking the same train anyway, why not take it together. you and doyoung are going to know the same little places around town, why not talk about them.

why not? why not? why not? 

why not invite him inside when you’re back in your hometown, why not lead him up to your room just so he can see it and why not kiss him when he leans over you.

people your age do it all the time, they hookup. that’s the only answer to that stupid hanging ‘why not?’

so when you felt doyoung’s fingers graze down your side and he’d clumsily gotten his glasses off just in time for you to pull his shirt up over his head 

you were convinced it meant nothing. you were convinced he thought the same.

then it all happens and you can’t take it back. 

especially not the part where you’re laying on your bed, just like you are now, waiting for doyoung to start gathering his things and instead a hand loops around your sweaty waist.

“aren’t you going to leave?”

the words blurt out of your mouth before you even think about it. 

the tension that stalled in the room had been so horrible you swore you’d felt it seep into every pore, damn near trickling itself down the walls.

doyoung had darkened, pulled himself away from you, and disappeared before you could string together your next thought.

part of you had been relieved, the other part felt like the biggest asshole on the planet.

you were just grateful the rest of the summer could easily be passed by keeping away from each other - until your mother had found her new best friend.

downstairs you can hear doyoung shuffling around with your mothers plants, you can’t make out what they’re saying, but you’re sure your mother is inviting him to stay and eat with you. asking doyoung about his amazing future plans to become a lawyer. enthralled by everything he is as a child and that you, most likely, are not.

when he finally leaves and the commotions die down you can’t get up

this is the most confusing moment. 

not the whole ignoring each other when he pops over, not the whole reliving the past from just a glimpse. 

it’s why - when it happened, you had been so content with it just staying nothing - you had been the one to make that decision for the both of you

yet

why does it seem like you’re wallowing in it, clinging to it, imaging it all over

every time he comes over

because you didn’t just want a hook-up. you wanted doyoung and were playing it off because having a crush on him isn’t worth it right?

your mind coils itself through a storm

you thought he only wanted to sleep with you too, because the thought of someone as good as doyoung liking you just doesn’t make sense?

despite the summer heat, you feel cold

you’re not good enough to actually be liked, to be the person doyoung chooses for something more than just your-

your phone rings and you sit up so fast it gives you a headache, you feel around and bring it to your ear without checking the number

“hello?”

“our mothers are trying to set us up on a date.”

you want to be anywhere in the world, but here. 

doyoung’s blank expression doesn’t let you know if he feels the same, but the way he won’t get in at least eight feet of you is telling enough.

you’re in his backyard, well technically you’re in his neighbors backyard, because he doesn’t want to be visible behind the hedges

rather be caught dead than be next to me, right? 

you shrill at yourself and try to bury the wince you make internally

“i think you should just tell them you have another boyfriend.”

“i can’t lie to my mother.”

you start and doyoung watches you chew on your lower lip and retreat defensively a step back

“why not?”

“she’s noisy - she’ll find out. she’ll insist until i die to meet this ‘other boyfriend’. plus i’m not a good liar.”

“really? could have fooled me.”

doyoung straightens himself as he says that, eyes unblinking behind the frames of his glasses

i probably deserve that. well actually-

“doyoung, i never promised you anything when we-”

the words wilt and doyoung suddenly looks over his shoulder.

“you’re right, you never promised me anything. im the one who was a fool for ever thinking it was something.”

you look at the grass. 

you wonder, if you had not said that one sentence - aren’t you going to leave - would this summer be different?

would you and doyoung be spending every second together, holding each other at the beach? kissing under the fireworks? sharing ice-cream and diving into pools filled of water and your laughter?

the thought blooms something in your chest

i wish - i wish it was that.

“you say i should lie, but you’re pretty good at it too doyoung.”

“excuse me?”

“it’s not like you - it’s not like you really wanted it to be anything more than it was.”

you think the grass is going to burst into flames with how hard you’re concentrating on it.

“what, you’re telling me-” you swallow “you’re telling me you actually wanted to be with me after? our mothers are trying to get us to go on a date and you called me out here just to avoid that.”

he leans forward

“if you are trying to make me the only guilty party here-”

he’s closer and you feel your voice shake a little, but you try to push to the end of your thought.

“im not, you never made any effort to make it seem like you had any genuine emotion so am i so wrong for just assuming it was just se-”

his hands, large and gentle, manage to find your shoulders and doyoung presses his lips to yours 

you stiffen from the external shock, but then relax under the light grip

his breath smells sweet, like he’s been chewing bubblegum, he’s wearing the same cologne he does at university

“i don’t just sleep with people.” 

he whispers against your mouth

“nothing against it, but i don’t think there’s a point to sharing something intimate with someone who i don’t want in every possible way.”

when you and doyoung agree to go on a date - both your mothers lose it. they’re convinced you’re soulmates.

although you and doyoung both agree they’re thinking way too far ahead in the future - it doesn’t mask the fact that the attraction that ends up forming between you two is undeniable

doyoung is so determined and intently goal orientated that you would think there isn’t the capacity to have fun in one bone in his body, but that’s not true

when he’s comfortable, he’s charming and full of humor - he makes you double over with laughter more than you could have imagined

and you aren’t as spacey and shy as doyoung might have assumed either, you have a competitive streak and you make doyoung feel like this is the summer of his life

the summer of his life that someone could probably make a decent coming of age film out of

he brings it up after you two exit a movie that was just about the same topic and you look down at your hands intertwined and shake your head

“no they’d never cast the right people to play us.”

doyoung sees the reflection of the milky way in your eyes, but he doesn’t say it

“no one on this planet is like you.”

he returns this sentiment with a small kiss that bumps this glasses against the bridge of your nose.

you get nervous sometimes when you think about how the summer started, it’s not like you’re living in the middle ages where intimacy is a sin before eternal commitment or anything

no you just get nervous because the reason you ever even made that situation as bad as it was, was because of your insecurity

does doyoung actually like me? did two weeks of being together at school make him realize something about me is worth it?

you can’t ask him that - even though sometimes you want to, so you can explain why you hadn’t just rolled over and nuzzled yourself into the dip of his chest

much like you do now - you fit so perfectly right between his arms

instead it sometimes gnaws at you until doyoung is cleaning his glasses over your sink and you’re sitting in the bathtub looking at him

your parents are ironically over at doyoungs for some wine party or whatever and although your mothers are in awe about you two being “a cute lil couple” 

they see that - cute, part of it makes you snort. you and doyoung sometimes act more mature than they do.

“i always knew you were staring at me in lecture.” he starts and a little smirk pulls at his long lips

you flick some of the water at him and he leans against the counter

he doesn’t like baths, he prefers showers, but he still stays in the room with you when you take them 

“i wasn’t staring at you.”

“you were staring at the back of my neck.”

you look away because fair, not like he spends a lot of time looking away from the professor.

“so i knew you liked me, or something about me. that’s why it hurt.”

“when we-”

“yes and i like being logical, so not having a real answer for why that all happened like it did still haunts me.”

he tilts his head and you see the line of his thin collarbones through his shirt

“i thought you’d say it first.”

he blinks

“i thought you’d say something like, that was cool. ill see you at uni come fall. and then leave. so i mean, i didn’t even say go leave - i asked, aren’t you going to leave?”

doyoung is smart so he gets what you’re saying in the most roundabout way possible

he walks over and squats down, leans over the ridge of the bath to kiss you and doesn’t complain when you bring your soapy hands up to cradle his neck

“im sorry i did leave, i should have just said what i felt right there.” 

he mutters and you nod. you should have said it too.

when you and doyoung graduate and he goes on to law school and you start working, you almost break up - twice - because of the stress

but somehow neither of you can ever ask the other one

aren’t you going to leave?

because neither of you ever really wants to.

so you don’t, you stay through all the hardships, through every argument and bump in the road. 

you stay, you choose to stay and so does he and you might not even fall asleep next to each other on some days but the heat of the person you love is always there.

and then doyoung gets his first big promotion at his job, runs all the way home with the news and ends up breathing hard and talking nonsense to you in your shared kitchen

“you need a shower.”

you say, wiping the sweat from his forehead as he shakes his head, no. he needs a bath.

you lean back against his chest, stronger and broader as he’s aged. 

he looks down at you and even the eyebags that have gotten darker with all that work he does don’t do anything to make him less attractive

you peck his chin, because it’s what you can reach.

“if we sit here any longer we’re going to prune.”

“are you going to be the first one to leave?”

he asks and you shake your head. 

you’ll sit here forever if that’s what it takes.

on the counter of the bathroom, there’s one of the houseplants your mothers keeps shipping to you. 

you don’t notice that it’s the same orchid that doyoung carried into your house all those years ago, when you thought he hadn’t even looked at you when your mother opened the door.

he curls a strand of your wet hair around his finger.

he had looked at you, quickly, but he had done it. 

even half covered by orchid leaves, you’d made his mouth dry. 

“no seriously though - we will prune.”

“i’ll get up if you get up?”

i’ll never leave, the only way i’ll leave is if it means im taking you with me. 

[raineydays411]

Oh,what am I supposed to do without you.

Loki x daughter!reader pt 2

Summary: You never knew your mother, but from the journal your Uncle Thor gave you, you knew she was a special women. You also knew that you were the splitting image of her.

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loki’s POV

Silence. That's all he heard now. No more sweet laughter. No more soft humming as she walked through the garden. No more mumbled words of love and whispers of sweet nothings. No all her heard was silence. Silence in the chambers that once belonged to the both of them. Silence as he walked the halls of a busy palace. Full of people but he was always alone. Silence..in the nursery that has been empty for nearly sixteen years. The bright beautiful colors, dull and covered in a layer if dust. But what else is new, everything has been dull since his beloved has died. 

After he had his daughter sent away, Thor had been on more off world missions. He would leave for long periods of time and only come back to visit. Frigga would look at Loki with disappointed and pitiful eyes, that he would pointedly ignore. And while Loki managed to pull himself together and leave his room, he still had this dark depressing cloud over him. He was barely holding it together. 

He was just...dark. His mischievous ways became cruel. Harmless pranks he used to play turned into mean tricks. His dry wit became cruel taunts. And when he wasn’t tormented people he was distant. There have been several times maids have found him staring out windows or at walls just lost in thought. Thinking of the life he could have had. A happy life with his wife and a child. 

If only...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n POV

Millions of light years away in Midgard, or earth, there was you. Y/n Odinson. After being sent away by Loki, Thor had taken you to live with Heimdall wanting to keep you close and true to your asgardian roots. But with Heimdall being the literal guardian of worlds and you growing to be a rather curious child, it wasn’t really a good match. So Thor took you to the only other place he could think of.

The Avengers HQ.

At first the team wasn’t too fond of the idea. Having a kid running around a superhero base isn’t really ideal. But after a while you won them over. Everyone absolutely adored you. Tony bought you any and everything you ever wanted, Bruce was your go to for advice, Steve doted on you and played with you whenever you wanted, Natasha was your self proclaimed aunt, and Clint was your fun uncle. Hell even Bucky found himself wrapped around your little finger. Yes, you had a wonderful life indeed.

But even though you could have anything you ever wanted, you still felt like you were missing something. Your parents.

You knew you were an asgardian. Your uncle Thor made sure you stayed true to your roots and you remembered the little time you spent on the planet. But you had no idea who your parents were. Every time you asked, Thor would always manage to change the subject. Other than the Avengers, who were more like aunts and uncles, you didn’t really have parents.

Now you knew you didn’t need them. You had a whole family of people who loved you like their own. But you couldn’t help but feel like there was something missing.

It wasn’t until a few days after your sixteenth birthday that you learned the truth. 

See you always knew you were asgardian, but never knew who your parents truly were. You couldn’t remember your life in Asgard, much less your parents. Thor refused to tell you who your parents were. The most you got out of him was that you looked almost exactly like your mother and that she was the sweetest person he knew. 

So when your fingers started turning a light blue and ice started shooting out of them, it was a little surprising to say the least. It happened on your birthday. Tony decided that it would be a wonderful idea to throw you a surprise party. And usually, you wouldn’t mind it as you’re actually pretty good at socializing. But ever since you woke up, you haven’t been feeling too well. Your head has been hurting, you felt light headed, and you just felt cold. Your hands and toes felt as if you were standing in the snow for hours.

 As you were walking into the common room, the Avengers and some of your friends popped out, scaring the absolute crap out of you. Resulting in you pulling an Elsa and then passing out. And while everyone fussed over you, trying to figure out what the hell happened, Thor was planning on taking you to Asgard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After persuading the team ( specifically Bucky and Tony), you found yourself behind Thor as he was greeted by a man who looks a lot like Idris Elba. 

“Heimdall!!” Thor boomed embracing the man “It’s wonderful to see you again my friend.” 

“Thor, its been too long!” Heimdall says with a smile,” Does the all father know about our dear visitor?” He says, golden eyes looking into yours. Your face grows hot under his gaze as you smile at him shyly. His face softens at the sight of you.

“Y/n, welcome home” He says with a nod of his head. Your eyes widen as you distinctly remember not telling him your name. Thor and Heimdall chuckle at the look of surprise on your face

“Moonlight, Heimdall was the first person to take care of you before the Avengers” Thor said chuckling. 

“Oh, then its lovely to see you again” You say, not really knowing what to say.

Heimdall smiles and whispers to Thor, “ Does your brother know about this?” 

Thor winces, “No...” 

Heimdall stares at him for a bit before rolling his eyes. “My dear” He says to you,”You’re uncle is a buffoon.” You giggle at his words. Not understanding the severity of your presence.

“Come Y/n, lets get you settled in.” Thor says and you say goodbye to Heimdall, walking across the rainbow bridge in awe.

As you walk through the streets of Asgard, you noticed people staring at you. They whispered to each other as you passed by. You thought it was because Thor was home, but you had a weird feeling. 

“Hey, uncle Thor?” you whisper

“Yes darling?”

“Why are they staring at me?”

“Oh...uh. ....cause you’re dressed in midgardian garments. when we get to the castle we’ll get you something to wear” Thor says nervously. You squint at his excuse. “Okayy” you say weirded out by his behavior.

Finally reaching the palace, you look around in awe. It looked like something out of a fantasy book. Thor lead you through the halls when a beautiful woman sped towards the two of you. 

“Thor!” she said wrapping him in a hug.”welcome home my son”

“Mother” Thor says hugging her back,”I have missed you”

“Oh this is Frigga” you think to yourself. You feel a slight pang of jealousy, seeing Thor be embraced by his mother. But you push that thought aside when they break apart and Thor beckons you over. 

“Mother...this is Y/n.” He says slowly. Frigga freezes at your name. 

“Y/n?” She whispers, looking at you with wide eyes. She steps closer you you and puts her hands on your face and stares into your eyes.

“Oh, I’d know those eyes anywhere.” She says. “ Oh darling”

She pulls you into a loving embrace, startling you. “I haven’t seen you since you were but a babe.” she holds you at arms length. “Oh you...you look just like..” She stops herself, shaking her head and wipes away tears. “Look at me, crying all over you” 

You smile,”It’s okay, its lovely to meet you.” 

Frigga laughs,” Yes, I am so happy you are here. Come, let me show you where you can rest.” As she leads you out of the room, she turns to Thor and says, “Thor, don’t forget to mention our guest to your brother.” And with that she wraps her arm around your shoulders and leads you to a guest room, asking about your life and interest. 

You answer, blissfully unware or the dread running through Thor's body at the thought of confronting his brother.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loki's POV

Thor slowly walked to the chambers, regretting every choice he  has made till now. He knew there were two way Loki would handle the news. He’d either go ballistic or completely disappear for however long Y/n was there. 

For his sake and hers, he'd prefer that latter option.

Finally reaching his room, Thor stood in front of the door. He was trying to figure out how to tell Loki his long lost daughter that he disowned was in the palace. Oh and she doesn’t know who her parents are. And that him and his team of superheroes have been raising her.....and that she has ice powers. 

Loki, sat in his room reading noticed shadows under his door. Rolling his eyes, he thought it was the maids again. They always hesitated to knock on his door. 

“What do you want?” Loki says in a monotone voice, opening the door only to his his brother standing their with a sheepish look on his face.”Thor.. you’re home.”

“Brother! How lovely to see you” Thor said loudly. “ I just came to ...uh..came to..”

Loki looked at him in irritation and confusion. “Came to what?” 

“Came to invite you to dinner!” Thor said grinning nervously

“What? no flowers?” Loki deadpanned 

“Oh hush brother” Thor said. “I have been away for so long, and I would be overjoyed if you came to my welcome home dinner.” 

“If I agree, will you leave me be?” Loki said. finally irritated with his brothers presence. 

“Yes!” Thor said. “ Wonderful...”

Loki looked at him weirdly again and nodded, but before he closed the door Thor started talking.

“Brother, tell me, how have you been?” He asked

“Wonderful, now do you mi-“ “Be honest.”

Loki glares at his brothers words and stays silent for a while. Then he sighs and steps aside, letting Thor in his room.

“I don’t know.” He finally says, looking down at the floor.

“You..don’t know?” Thor repeats, not understanding the response.

“Yes. At first I was devastated, I was angry. But now...now I feel empty. Like there’s something in my life that I’m missing.” Loki sighs again, looking out the window. “Every time I look, there she is. Sometimes she’s reading in the garden. Sometimes she’s helping the maids. And sometimes...” Loki stops himself, tears forming in his eyes.

“Sometimes..?” Thor prompts gently as he slowly walks to the bookshelf, leaning against it.

“Sometimes I see her staring at me. Disappointed.” Loki finally says, his back turned to Thor as he lets his tears fall freely.

“Loki..I am certain she understand.” Thor says, “ would she be upset? Probably.” Loki tenses at his, his brothers words sting at his heart. “But, she knew you. I think she’d prefer her child to be well loved.”

Loki nodded, still not facing Thor. And because of that, he didn’t notice Thor swipe a particular journal and replace it with another book.

“Well” Thor said suddenly,” I should be off, I promised mother I’d help show our guest around.”

“Our guest?” Loki said making a face at the thought of socializing.

“ Oh yes.” Thor said walking out of the room, “ a princess of some sort, I believe”

Loki rolls his eyes, he knew if royalty was visiting, he’d be forced to dress up and make stale conversation.

Meanwhile, Thor walked down the halls, with a beautiful leather journal, that belonged to a certain girls mother. And a plan in mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @mika-dannielle @brightsunanddarkmidnight2-0

[classyfruit]

ClassyfruitbASKet - Part 2

Hello and good day my friendos! 💕 Another week went by just like that *snips fingers * and I feel like my head is still stuck back in March.😅 But that means it is time for another episode of ClassyfruitbASKet and for another 10 asks about my art. So, if you’re curious about what I’m planning next or you just want to relax your brain while reading through my rambeling, you’re most welcome to stick around.  Let’s begin!

Ah yes, hello my dear Anon and Heisenberg-connoisseur! 😁 As far as I can tell from the amount of really well done Heisenberg art out there, you’re definitely not alone with your love for the dilf with the big... hammer. 😏 And of course, your preferences are always valid! 😘 Our favourite metal wielding, uno-having werewolf cowboy will definitely be featured in my art occasionally, but as I myself am a lesbean, my focus lies... elsewhere. 👀 But yes, AHEM! Thank you for the ask, moving on!

Hey there, totally different Anon! 👋😊 I suppose MC stands for maiden character? As far as that goes, no, I don’t yet have my own personal MC that I share on social media. I want to vary the appearances of the maidens as much as possible so that everyone can have a turn. So to speak. If you all decide you want to see my personal MC, I will gladly draw her sometime! Just let me know in the comments. 

Hello dear Anon #3, first of all, I’m SO happy that my art gives you life! I often read that my artwork is responsible for killing of some poor unsuspecting lesbeans, so it’s nice to not have another murder on my hands! 😋 Also I’m very grateful for getting you on the Donna and Miranda hype train! Welcome aboard! I will definitely draw some more Alcina x insert x Miranda content in the future because we all need that! 🥵 And yes, I’m including myself! Thanks for your question, don’t forget to stay hydrated! 💗

Hi shy bean #4, it’s good to see you! Thanks for getting in touch! I will choose 1 ask about commissions per installment until I finally get my act together and post a commission sheet. 😅 Currently I’m really full on commissions but PLEASE don’t let that deter you from DMing me on Tumblr or Instagram and I will still slot you in for when I’m open again. And of course, if you just want to stop by to say hello and chat, you’re all welcome to do that, as well. My DMs are open! 💕

Hi my silent warrior #5 and thank you SO much for your very valid question!  💛 🤍💜🖤 I think none of the RE women would mind an enby partner at all. If they love their partner, they love them for their heart and soul and everything that they are. They would cherish them all the same. 

Hello my friendo incognito #6, I agree VERY MUCH that Donna needs ALL the love and even more scenes with her and one or several of her ladies attending tea parties, picnics or something like that. Ahhhh, that would be the dream. 🤭

Good day to you, my masked stranger #7, I am always down for new inspiration for Lady D’s pets, but I can’t for the love of me find anything about brenat. So if you would take pity on me and explain some more in another ask or comment, that would be grand! Sorry, apparently I am a clueless grandma now! 😑😂

Hello my unnamed hero #8, thank you so much for your ask. That actually put an idea in my mind. I will definitely look into it and someday try to stream my painting process! 😊 I’m not really sure if people would find it so interesting to hear be waffle on about nothing while painting, but then again, at least I’m doing something productive while talking, right? If I ever can get ovar ze German agzent, I will do zat. Zank you for ze ask! 💖

Heya beautiful stranger #9, I love your mind and YES I need to draw more Donna and several of her maidens. I’m sure she collected quite a few of them. Maybe they live in a small cottage not far from the Beneviento estate? I mean, she needs ALL the love. And thank you so much for complimenting my art, I’m so glad you like how I draw her! 🖤

And you’re being last but certainly not least, mysterious guest #10! I did actually include a plus size woman with Donna I think, but I’m absolutely very inclined to draw even more voluptuous gals. And I’m super happy that my art gives you the happiness you deserve! 😘 _____ And there you have it, that’s it for this week’s ClassyfruitbASKet installment.  🍉 🍇 🍓 As always, thank you to EVERYONE who left a DM or ask for me. I’m still reading them all and I promise, sooner or later, I will get to YOUR ask. Yes you, the one reading this! (You should really drink a sip of water! Have you stretched?) Thank you very much for all of your support and each and every one of you that keeps commenting and getting in touch with me. I adore you all to bits and I’m looking forward to next Tuesday! Much love, Classy 

[gasolineghuleh]

Little Orchid

Commission for @fried-potato-13 for “something soft with Primo”. A lil bit o’ thigh riding and some fingering!

NSFW Below, No Minors.

It’s warm in the gardens and you tilt your face up towards the sun, squinting against the sharp rays in an attempt to see some of the clouds that float by lazily. When you were a younger Sibling you spent most of your time on the lawns with the Ghouls and their kits, watching the clouds and picking shapes out of them. A small smile manages to spread across your face when you remember those days of leisure, cut short by the quickly demanding classes and rote memorization. Still, you think to yourself as your smile fades slightly, there’s nowhere else on Earth you would rather be than here at the Abbey— no matter how challenging things got, the Papas always seemed to have ways to make you feel at home. 

The smell of the tea curls around your senses and snakes its way down your back, untensing your muscles as it goes and relaxing you more than you expected it to. Papa Emeritus the First leans over you with a welcoming smile on his face as he pours the aromatic mixture into your tea cup, stopping just a finger's breadth away from the rim of the cup. It’s only when he sits down and gestures towards you with a regal hand that you take a small sip, your eyes closing briefly as the full bodied taste of the tea washes over your tongue. There’s a definite taste of berries there, as well as some cloves and cinnamon. 

“Did you make this yourself, Papa?” you ask, opening your eyes again to look at the older man. He’s picked up his own tea as well, wafting it in front of him as he watches you with delicate and careful eyes. Papa Emeritus the First has grown considerably older since you came to the Abbey all those years ago, but his eyes have never lost their shrewd scrutiny that made him such an enduring leader in his time at the head of the church. They pierce through you, the white one still as clear as the day he ascended, the green one slightly cloudier with age. Something inside of you stirs in apparent interest— something you never really lost from your teenage years, when you had a crush on the man. Something he knows as well.

“Si, from the gardens. You are feeling stressed? The Cardinal has told me that your grades have fallen in Latin, and you can’t focus during Incantations and Rituals.” He leans forward a little bit, pushing a plate of warm buttered scones towards you from their place on the table. When you don’t take one immediately he narrows his eyes at you, only nodding in approval when you snatch one and take a quick bite. “When a Sibling goes from being his star pupil to suddenly forgetting their books in their room eh… We take notice. I thought it apt that I have this conversation with you, considering our past, hm? You are comfortable speaking to me, still?”

“I know, Papa.” You swallow hard, chasing the scone with a sip of tea— it really was delicious, even if your nerves made it sit like a stone in your belly. “I’m going through a lot currently. Just… I feel like I don’t belong here sometimes. Some of the other Siblings are special, and their talents are being utilized by the Church. I haven’t been given a specialty yet. I feel useless here, and it gives me a lot of mental agony.” As soon as the words are out of your mouth his face softens, becoming lined with empathy and worry. You almost instantly wish that you could take the words back, wincing inwardly as you reveal your inner thoughts to him. 

The First always has a way with getting the Siblings to open up to him, whether through confessionals or through candid tea parties, like this one. Something about his presence around you is enough to make you spill your secrets, shameful and all. Your eyes slide from the cup in your hands to the cobblestone ground at your feet as you blink hard, trying to keep your sudden tears from overflowing. You focus your gaze on a small clump of weeds that has managed to make its way through the cracks in the stone— a lone splash of verdant green against the dark red cobbles, an enduring sign of life amidst the Abbey. 

“Sister…” Papa leans forward and sets his cup on the table with a soft clink before readjusting his robes and shuffling forward to the edge of his own chair. His gloved hand comes out to rest on your knee, patting you gently until you lift your eyes to his again. “We all go through things sometimes, yes? I have gone through many. My brother, the Third, you know he deals with these things often as well.”

“Yeah,” you say quietly, holding back a sniffle as you take another sip of your tea. The warm liquid is encouraging, and the soft spices in it make you feel a bit better. It blossoms across your tongue and you roll your shoulders a little, sitting up a bit straighter and looking at Papa once more. “I didn’t want to say anything to the Cardinal. I didn’t want to seem weak.” 

“Weakness does not come from admitting things, Sister. This is important to know.” Papa sits up, taking his hand off of your knee and folding them in his lap. “Admitting that you are feeling negatively once in a while does not make you weak. It makes you stronger. You see this?” 

“I’m afraid I don’t, Papa… It seems to me that admitting weakness is… Well… Weak.” The eldest Papa nods his head at your words, his eyes closing briefly as he considers his own times of weakness. When he doesn’t speak you forge ahead, the words tumbling from your tea loosened lips before you can stop them. “I always thought that admitting when I’m struggling with something would only give someone cause to take pity on me, or think I’m inferior. I came here to find the power inside of myself, and I’m afraid that I’ve lost it.”

“Oh, Sister. I know how that feels.” Papa nods his head once more and opens his eyes to look at you. You take another sip of your tea and try to still your heart as he frowns for a moment, looking at you with a question in his eyes. “Have you seen the flower I cultivated recently? The one that failed to thrive.” As you shake your head he smiles at you, standing with a loud groan as his knees crack. “Old bones, Sister, scusi. Come with me.” 

“Yes, Papa.” You hurry to obey him, setting your tea cup back onto the saucer on the table and standing, smoothing your habit on reflex as you fall into step beside him. He walks slowly and you find yourself taking much smaller steps than usual as to not out pace him. Still, the walk is soothing and you find yourself smiling softly as you watch him, his robes gliding imperiously across the well swept path towards a cultivated patch of earth. He had obviously uprooted whatever laid there previously, replacing it with a large pot that draws your attention as the two of you approach.

“When I inherited this flower, it refused to bloom.” He stops in front of a large clay pot, gesturing towards a flower. You look at it briefly, doing a double take when you realize what the thing actually looks like— a long stick pokes up out of the dark, rich soil, and the stem itself is a dark colour of brown, almost bordering on necrotic black. If you didn’t know any better, you would think the thing was dead already. “Tell me what you see, child.” 

“I see a dead plant, Papa.” Your voice is flat, toneless. Papa tsks in annoyance at you and tugs you closer to the thing, his hand looping with ease around your wrist as your heart rate speeds. He urges you to look closer with another wave of his hand and you humor him, crouching in front of the pot on the ground and staring at the plant. “I see… A dead stem with a single blossom. A bulb hanging towards the top. Drooping. Dead,” 

“Ah, you are still not noticing, Sister. Or perhaps you are noticing, but prefer to be contentious? Look beside that dead stem, if you would.” A deep sigh leaves you as your mind flashes back to long hours in his study where he used the same tone, a stern but encouraging teacher instructing a less-than-willing pupil. Still, you do as he says, squinting slightly at the dirt. There’s another stem beside it, just peeking up out of the soil— a soft green colour, and laced with dark red. So dark against the soil that you missed it entirely when you looked at it at first. 

“Is it that?” you ask, pointing towards it. You stand up as he starts to speak, folding your arms across your chest as you look between him and the plant. It’s a small thing, but the look on his face is serene and full of a love for it. You feel your heart melt slightly at his own display of emotion, softening your face as you listen to him speak.

“Si, sorella. You are using your eyes now, it seems. This plant is called an orchid. It’s alive and well, and blooming quite nicely. To the outside world it appears ugly… Weak.” Papa turns himself towards you, his two toned gaze cutting to your heart. “It appears weak until you know what it has to offer. Then, under a guided and trained hand, it appears beautiful. Powerful. Strong.” 

“I see.” You nod, chewing on your lower lip. 

“I do not think that you do.” Papa steps forward slightly, his forefinger and thumb gripping your chin as he tilts your face towards his own. “You think that you are like an orchid, it seems. Weak on the outside when people who do not know you view you. But I can cultivate you. I can make you strong.” 

“Papa, are you saying that I need a tutor who isn’t the Cardinal?” You can feel a flush forming under your habit, quickly rising up your neck. His eyes never waiver, locked onto yours with a purpose— instead, they narrow slightly as his grip on your chin grows tighter, forcing you to hold your eyes to his as he’s done so many times.

“Perhaps. Perhaps I am merely saying that a tutor who knows you would be more apt to drawing out your strengths.” His eyes flicker between your own before he stops, nodding to himself and smiling. “There it is, Sister. You have a hunger in you. A hunger that I saw years ago when I taught you as my own. A power that you feel coursing through your veins when you gain the knowledge that I have. Do you remember that?”

“I do. Long nights in your office. Hot fires. Dark words. Black books.” Despite the sunny day, you feel a cold finger trail its way down your spine. The things that Papa taught you in his office were things that the Clergy didn’t trust to most of the Siblings housed at the Abbey. For the longest time, you had thought he had given up on you as a student— the thought of doing it again sent a thrill through the core of you. “Am I meant to learn that again?” Excitement clenches your throat, makes your words tight. 

“I think, given the circumstances, I should take you on as my personal student again. The Cardinal does not have the necessary skills to draw out your, as you say, weaknesses.” His eyes finally leave your face as his hand drops, shielding his eyes as he looks up towards the sun. “At nightfall, you make your way to my office. The old path. Do you remember it?”

“Yes. With ease, Papa.” You nod fervently, not willing to say anything that may jeopardize his sudden choice to take you under his wing again. The possibility of power- of beginning what two of you had last time- makes your knees tremble with excitement that’s quickly becoming difficult to hide. 

“Very good. Tonight, Sister.” Papa inclines his head towards you as he would any other Sibling of Sin and strides past you with ease. You turn to watch him go, marveling at how much smoother he appears to be walking since your conversation. Perhaps his frailty really was an act.

Dinner is an anxiety laden affair for you as your thoughts keep casting back towards the time in the gardens. Not only did it feel good to get your feelings out of your mind and into the open, but the acceptance that Papa heard it with had settled that part of your thoughts. Now the anxiety came from what may happen when you go to him tonight. Your relationship as teacher and pupil was fraught with unspoken tension, only released when you finally fell into bed with him. Words that you couldn’t say spilled forth as secrets across his skin, whispered into the hollow behind his ear when you thought he was asleep. 

It’s only now, standing in the middle of the hallway alone, that your heart begins to race. The other Siblings say their usual goodbyes in the small antechamber outside the mess hall, leaving you as they practically run back to their own rooms to sleep. Your pulse beats against your temples in a staccato rhythm that makes you dizzy as your feet find the all too familiar path that you used ages ago. It’s still well kept, clean and swept of any dust that seems to linger in the Abbey. The tapestry is still tacked to the inside of the wall just as you remember it, and you give yourself a quick countdown before you tear it aside.

“Sister. You came.” 

Papa Emeritus the First sits in his customary chair by an already stoked fire, dressed in a pair of matching pajamas. The red silken material seems to shimmer and move in the crackling flames from the hearth, and your eyes can’t help but linger on the illusion. You allow the curtain to drop back into place as you walk into the room with a gait that’s surely more confident than you feel. As you approach him, as if by habit, you reach up and pull off your hair covering, allowing it to drop to the floor with a quiet sound. 

“Of course I came, Papa. Did you think I wouldn't?” Even as the question leaves your lips he’s already shaking his head, dropping his leg from his knee and patting his lap for you. You pause for a moment to pull your shoes off before slipping with ease into his lap, as though you’ve always belonged there. Instantly his arms wrap around your middle as he pulls you closer to him, pressing your back against the still strong planes of his chest. 

“Never in a million years, my little bird.” His lips brush just against your ear lobe with a  touch so faint you could have imagined it. Already you can feel the heat rising from your core to the surface of your skin, blushing you with faint red kisses. Papa’s arm tightens around your midsection for a moment before he presses a more firm kiss to your neck. “I think we should start with a bit of emptying the mind. Especially if I’m only going to fill it with more information later.” 

“Is that what you think?” you ask, your voice still coy and taunting even as your hands shake with nerves that you haven’t felt in ages. You feel like you’re young again, with a man for the first time. You know all of the paths that his hands are going to take but it takes your breath away even still. 

Papa doesn’t bother with words. 

His hand, ungloved, slips under the hem of your habit and crawls slowly up your thigh. You spread your legs for him with ease and he allows you to slot your leg between his own, effectively straddling his thigh as you do so. Even as you sink back into the familiar feeling of his body you can hear him chuckle to himself, his lips tracing a heated path across your neck until he turns your face towards him gently. Papa captures your lips in his, for the first time in what feels like forever, and you can’t help the sigh that slips past. 

Your body melds against his like no time has passed at all and your hips start to move unbidden across his leg. Papa groans behind you as you start to move yourself across his thigh, pressing your cunt down into the strong muscle of his leg. You can feel his chest reverberating with his own deep groans of pleasure, his free hand dropping down to grip his cock through his pajama pants. When his hips roll up against yours you stifle a moan, grinding yourself harder against him momentarily. 

“Sister,” Papa says through a deep breath as he breaks the kiss. Papa rests his forehead against yours, breathing heavily as he squeezes his cock in one hand and pets the soft skin of your thigh with the other. “You are sure that this is what you need right now? This will make you feel happy?” 

“Nothing would make me happier, Papa. To do this, and to be your student again.” Satisfied, he kisses you once more, finally dipping his fingers below the hem of your panties. When the pad of his index finger finds your clit you jump, moaning sharply when he doesn’t recede— instead, he pushes himself against you harder, dropping his hand from himself to further pin you place as he rocks his cock upward. His finger rubs the soft bundle of nerves in a tight circle, pressing you against him with his now free hand as you gasp and writhe in his arms. 

“Give in to me, hm? Like you used to, Sister. We had so much fun together here, in front of the fire. Do you remember the time I made you see God? Or was it Sathanas that tickled your fancy that evening?” His words curl across you like smoke, going in one ear and out the other before you have time to register what he’s said to you. You nod anyway, your eyes slipping closed as the pleasure intensifies. You’re only barely able to grind yourself down onto his leg anymore and you gasp loudly when he jolts you, bouncing you roughly on his leg for a moment. 

“Papa!” you groan, your hand flying out to grip the arm of the chair in a white knuckled grasp. His lips only curve in a smile against your skin as his finger dips lower. Papa teases your entrance lightly, running his finger through your slick folds as he continues to whisper to you, hips moving under you all the while. 

“It has been so long since I touched you like this, little bird. Like I used to. Do you know how long I laid awake after we ended things, wishing that your warm body was on my lap again? Wishing that you were knelt in front of me, wishing to receive Unholy Communion?” It’s all you can do to gasp and nod, the muscles of your core starting to tense as you get closer to your climax. As if sensing it, Papa pulls his hand away from you with a speed that leaves you dizzy. “Show me. Show me how much you missed this.” 

You don’t need to wait for instructions. You know what he wants. 

Reaching out your other hand to grip the arm of the chair on the opposite side, you grind your hips down onto his thigh, letting out a shuddering moan when the friction manages to rub perfectly along your aching clit. It feels good, and you know that you can get yourself there with ease. His warmth underneath you, hard cock pressing against the small of your back, is more than enough for you to focus on as you press yourself down again. This time, his other hand falls to your waist, his fingers digging into the soft skin there as he guides your movements. Soon enough you settle into a rocking rhythm along his thigh, gasps and moans falling from your lips with every movement. 

“You’re so good for me, little bird. Can you cum like this? I want to feel you shake with pleasure on top of me. Cum for me.” Papa’s words are move than enough to tip you over and you lean back against him, writhing on his lap as you shudder and gasp your way through an orgasm. 

He barely gives you any time to come down before his hand is at your waist again, diving beneath your panties as his fingers fumble for your entrance. Both of you groan in tandem as his fingers slip inside of you with ease, his hips jerking with the sudden feeling of your slickness along his fingers. When Papa tilts his fingers inside of you, crooking them upward until he finds the sensitive spot inside you, you fold backwards against him, your hips jerking upwards to meet his hand. 

“You always loved this, didn’t you?” he asks, pulling you against him as he peppers your neck with soft kisses. You nod and murmur an agreement as his hand moves faster, eliciting lewd sounds from where the two of you are connected. “Does it feel nice to be back in the arms of your Papa? This is where you belong, you know. You are so strong, Sister… So strong that I think it scares you sometimes, hm?”

“Wh- what do you mean, Papa?” You squeeze your eyes shut tighter, your hands aching as you dig your fingers into the arms of the chair. Satan only knows how many times you’ve been in this position before. 

“You can feel it. When you cum for me this time, remember how strong you are. This feeling. It comes from inside of you, si? Knowledge and power… And the strength to seduce the oldest Emeritus. This takes… work.” With this, Papa seals your lips in another kiss, softer than the last one as his hand moves faster. When his tongue sweeps across your lower lip you keen, cumming hard against his hand and rocking your hips against him. 

The two of you sit there for a moment, both breathing heavily, and it’s only now that you realize that he’s cum as well. You can feel his cock still hot and heavy against the small of your back, throbbing just lightly with his heartbeat as it slows after his climax. Papa leans forward and lays his chin on your shoulder, leaning his head against yours as he holds you tightly to him— no words are needed between the two of you. They never have been. 

It’s only later when, curled up with Papa in his cavernous and red sheeted bed, that you think to ask about his proposal. 

“You truly want to teach me again, Papa? You weren’t just trying to bed me?” You reach up and poke his nose lightly, laughing when he snorts awake from where he was drifting off. 

“Yes, Sister. Of course I do.” His face splits in a large yawn and his arm pulls you closer to him before he resumes speaking. “Everything I said in my gardens I meant. You are my orchid. I will make you see yourself as one.” 

“An orchid…” You trail off, thinking for a moment.  “Papa?” you finally say, piping up after a few moments of silence. His deep breaths stutter once more and you can practically hear him roll his eyes at the ceiling.

“Yes, Sister? It is past 10. I would like to be sleeping now.” Papa’s words are clipped, and you know that you’re beginning to press your luck. He has a hard 9:30 pm bedtime, and you’ve already pushed him well past that in front of the fire earlier. 

“This will be fast,” you promise.  

“Then what?” His tone is grumpy, but only on the surface. You know that he’s beyond thrilled to have you back in his chambers in the most intimate of ways, and you wouldn’t trade your current position for anything in the world. Papa’s orchid. 

Except…

“Is there any other flower I could be?” 

[maddiwrites]

Secret Lives (Part 3)

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Summary: You and JJ never got along so your friends trap the two of you on a boat in the middle of the marsh to work it out. Only it doesn’t go as planned. 

Note: Hey guys! Remember this little series I wrote? A lot of people asked for a part three and I truly had no plans to write one, but I came up with one for you if you if guys are even still interested, who knows. I don’t know how I feel about it. Kinda seems dramatic of me, but oh well. Its been in my drafts for forever so I’m finally posting it. Let me know!! If I tagged you, its because you were tagged in part 2 or asked to be tagged in part 3! 

Word count: 6k

Warnings: mentions of abuse, drugs, violence, and death

 Part 1   Part 2    Masterlist

The relationship you and JJ had transpired into something no one saw coming. Your friends thought your friendship was unsalvageable after what happened when they trapped you in the middle of the marsh with one another. You had reached your breaking point and they didn’t think you’d ever come back to them. But you did. Not only did you come back to them, but you came back to JJ. 

The two of you, once closed off around each other, were now inseparable. You spent almost every day together. You followed him around his work schedule and he snuck through your window any chance he got because he didn’t want to spend one night without you. Your family was surprisingly very accepting of JJ. Your mother was first worried, knowing how men on the Cut can grow into something/someone no parent would want for their daughter. And Andrew knew of Luke Maybank from word of mouth and was afraid JJ might be just like him. But the first night you invited him to dinner at your house, your parents welcomed him into your family. He was polite, mature, and personable throughout the whole meal. You remembered that night well. The morning of, he  called you panicking because he didn’t know what to wear. You told him to wear whatever he wanted, but he was afraid the Kildare County T shirt and cargo shorts wouldn’t send the right message. So you took him shopping on the mainland. Together you took the ferry and made him play dress up in stores you knew he couldn’t afford. He felt bad that you were paying for his new wardrobe, but you promised it was something you wanted to do because you would do anything to make him feel better about this night. That night he came to your door with a bouquet of flowers for your mother and a bottle of Scotch he told Andrew his dad bought for him for that night. Your little sister absolutely adored him, barely giving him enough time to kiss you hello or goodbye. 

You and JJ were more alike than either of you could even imagine. Your temper wasn’t as short as JJ’s, but you weren’t afraid of a fight when it presented itself to you. Your mother always said that’s what happens when you grow up on the Cut. You learn to fight for what you want and need. Most of the time JJ liked that about you. Seeing you standing up for yourself was a huge turn on to him and he felt prideful when onlookers would watch impressed because they didn’t expect a girl from Figure Eight to fight like that. He never let it get physical though even though he always thought it would be hot to see you in a cat fight with some rich bitch from your school. He cared too much about you to let you get hurt. 

You and JJ have another similarity no one outside of the Pogues know about. Although you hate it more than anything, you and JJ live through the trauma of having an abusive father. As if dealing with your father alone wasn’t stressful enough, he created a few fights between you and your boyfriend. JJ was constantly on your case when you were hiding a new bruise or silently frustrated from a previous conversation with your father. You tried not to find it overbearing because JJ was just concerned. You promised you’d stop seeing your father. It was easier for you than for JJ because you had another family to fall back on. A loving mother, a generous step father, and a boisterous little sister. The perfect family. Which is why you felt so guilty that they didn’t seem like enough. ‘Cause it didn’t matter how much money Andrew had, or if he said he loved you like his own, or that he promised you he would never hurt your mother on the day he proposed. He wasn’t your real dad. Your real dad was out there, living in filth and drugs. Without a second income, he couldn’t pay his bills or own a car to drive himself to work every day. He blamed that on you and your mother and you fell for his pity party every single time. 

JJ knew when you were lying. You’d wearing more clothes on the days you were hiding your skin and quieter on the days when you were thinking back to the hateful things your father yelled at you the day before. He hated that there was someone out there laying their hands on you and there was nothing he could do about it. JJ knew the kind of damage that could happen if he tried to physically intervene and it didn’t work. Every time he brought it up, it would only start a heated argument. You would bring up his own father and how JJ wouldn’t let you say anything to Luke, even on the days you two were face to face at Barry’s home with your own father. You hated that JJ thought he could come between you and your father, but you couldn’t do the same. It was hard to believe you two were using your own father’s against each other to prove a point.

Today was no different. It was sunny, cloudless day in the middle of the summer. Which meant the perfect boat day for you and your Pogues. John B was excited to fish, JJ and Pope were excited to swim, Kie to tan. And you? Well you weren’t excited all at. Because last night was a particularly bad night between you and your dad. 

He had taken you out to Barry’s again, forcing you to come inside so he could show you off like his own personal wallet. He drained you of another four hundred dollars after Barry threatened to shoot your father in the head if he didn’t get his money. And you hesitated. Not because you wanted your father to die, but because you had never had a gun pointed at another person in your vicinity. Ever. But that’s not how your dad took it. When you dropped him off, he had you come inside so he could give you his unpaid utility bills. When you least expected it, your dad shoved you hard into the countertop, the corner of it jabbing into your side. Even when you fell to the floor, your father didn’t stop kicking you in your stomach. He called you ungrateful and disloyal. He told you he wished you had never been born - how you ruin everything. You cried into the tiled floors until your dad tired himself out, grabbed a beer, and went to bed.

Your torso was covered in blue and purple bruises when you woke up. Even the warm water from you shower this morning felt like a million little needles pricking your skin.  You contemplated texting the Pogues, telling them you felt sick and that you couldn’t go today. But when you looked out the window and saw the perfect day, you didn’t want to miss out on the sun or a day out with your friends. Your father’s taken a lot from you, but you wouldn’t let him take this.

You wore a one piece bathing suit you had no intention of showing anyone today. JJ greeted you first when the Pogue pulled up to your dock. His arm wrapped around your waist, his hand lightly squeezing your side. You inevitably flinched but forced out a giggle to make it look like JJ had only tickled you. Not hurt you. No one thought anything of it. No one but JJ. He watched you with a narrowed gaze as you said your hellos to the others and popped a squat next to Kie and Sarah.

When John B docked the boat, everyone immediately undressed to get into the cool water.

“C’mon, babe. You’re my partner for Chicken,” JJ walked up to you, the two of you the only ones on the boat.

You looked up and admired his shirtless, toned body. His tan skin glowed against the North Carolina sun and you couldn’t understand how you got so lucky to call him yours.

Then you remembered your predicament and looked out towards your friends to avoid his stare. “I’m not feeling that great today, J.”

“What’s wrong?” JJ asked but he didn’t need to. He already knew what was wrong. He just wanted to see if you would lie about it again.

“Just nauseous,” you said, “I think I ate some bad eggs this morning or something.”

“Some bad eggs, huh?” JJ scoffed.

“JJ...” you sighed. You knew he didn’t buy your lame excuse. You wouldn’t either if it was the other way around.

“You went to see him again, didn’t you?” It wasn’t a question it was a statement.

“Can we not do this here? Please.” You practically begged. You knew this argument could get heated. It usually always did. Neither of you meant to get mad at one another. In the end, it was your dad who was in the wrong. But you guys didn’t like seeing the other one hurt. It was both frustrating and exhausting.

JJ rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He dove into the water head first and swam out towards his friends.

You dropped your head on the boat’s steering wheel, your forehead thumping against it. You wished cutting ties with your dad was as it easy as it sounds. But now you know that Barry would kill your dad if you didn’t show up for him with the money he owed. And you couldn’t let that happen. It would feel like murdering your own father.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

A week later, you found yourself at another boneyard party with your friends. You tried your best to enjoy the night despite your boyfriend giving you the cold shoulder. He was still mad about the incident on the boat. The two of you fought about it when you got back to the Chateau. He knew you were holding something back from him. And you were. You never mentioned Barry or the drugs or the gun to him. As far as JJ knew, you paid your dad’s bills and took him out to lunch every once in a while. And you wanted to keep it this way - afraid of what he might think knowing you were spending time with not only a notorious drug dealer, but his own father.

“I’m gonna get another drink,” you tell Kie as the two of you watched JJ and John B play beer pong against two Tourons.

She nodded and kept her eyes trained on the winning Pogues.

Before you reached the keg, a hand wrapped around your wrist and pulled you away from the crowd, towards the water. When you looked up at who it was, you ripped your hand away and glared at the blonde Kook.

“Y/N -“

“What the hell do you want, Rafe?” You could tell he was high. His eyes wouldn’t stop flickering back between yours, his balance was off, and his pupils were dilated.

“I - I screwed up. I don’t have the money - I didn’t make enough money for Barry’s blow. He’s gonna kill me.”

“Hey, hey. Calm down,” you looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping.

“You need to help me. You need to sell this -“ he tried shoving small baggies into your hands but you pulled yourself away like he was offering your a lit flame.

“Are you out of your mind. Put that away!”

“I wasn’t - wasn’t keeping track of how many people were using my shit. And then there was this girl -“

“Rafe, I can’t do this.”

“JJ can help. Yeah? His dad -“

“JJ stays out of this,” you took another step towards him so you were face to face with the Kook and he could see how serious you were, even through his high state of mind. “You hear me? JJ’s nothing like his dad and I swear to god I’ll kill you first if you say anything to him.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Rafe raised his voice, frustrated that he couldn’t come up with any other ideas of how he was supposed to get his money back.

“Hey!” You froze when another voice broke you and Rafe apart. JJ walked up from behind you and pointed his finger at the Kook. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Get away from her.”

You let JJ pull you behind him but kept your eyes on Rafe, trying to warn him from saying anything to your already fired up boyfriend.

Rafe sniffled and took a step back. “Nothing, dude. Relax. Okay?”

“Didn’t look like nothing.”

“Rafe was just leaving,” you said and kept your eyes on Rafe.

“Y/N, you don’t understand. Barry -“

“Rafe!”

JJ’s head snapped in your direction and his brows furrowed in confusion. He knew that name. His dad’s mentioned that name before. It’s usually followed by coke prices.

Rafe just glared at you. “If I die, it’s on you.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked down at the sand as Rafe walked away. JJ slowly turned to look at you as his brain scrambled to put the pieces together.

“Y/N...”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You said quickly.

“How do you know Barry?” JJ pushed. He didn’t care if you didn’t want to talk about it. He was tired of letting you push him away.

“He’s my dad’s dealer, J. We’ve been over this.” You tried walking away from him but he grabbed your wrist to make you look at him.

“You been to his house?” JJ asked. When you didn’t answer, he took a step back and looked at you incredulously. “You work for him now?”

You glared at him. “Of course not!”

“Then -“

“My dad makes me pay for his shit, okay? And I can’t stop or else Barry will kill him.” You snapped. Tears pricked at your waterline and threatened to fall.

“Barry won’t kill -“

“He pointed a gun at his head the other day! I was there! I had to scoff up hundreds of dollars to save his life.” You shook your head. “And that still wasn’t enough to save myself from a stupid beating. So please stop telling me how much easier it is for me to escape him. Stop telling me how lucky I am to have such a great family to rely on. Because I don’t! If I don’t help my dad out, I might as well sign his death warrant myself.”

JJ’s heart physically cracked in his chest at the sight of you. You were falling apart. Here at a boneyard party, where you should be having fun and forgetting about your problems. But instead he pushed you too far, and although he was relieved to finally hear the truth from you, he wished it had been in the privacy of your home or the Chateau. When he looked over your shoulder, he saw the worried looks of the Pogues looking at them. He didn’t know if he heard them, but he hoped they hadn’t. He still needed time to process this without the pestering questions from his friends. Even if they meant well.

“Okay,” JJ said softly. “Okay. I won’t say anything. I’m sorry. Can we just - “ he sighed. “Can we just go back to the Chateau? I just wanna hold you.”

You sniffled and meekly nodded your head. You were angry and frustrated. But not at him. At Rafe. At your own father. At the world. And you just wanted your boyfriend too.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

That night, you fell asleep pretty fast. From your sore body, to the sleepless nights thinking about Barry and his threats, and the warmth of JJ’s body held against you, your exhausted state quickly took over you. You felt like you could sleep for hours.

JJ, however, did not. He stared up at the blank ceiling with his forearm tucked under his head as his other arm stayed wrapped around you. He couldn’t stop picturing you at Barry’s home with a bunch of old low lifes, scared and innocent. He wondered if his dad was ever there - if he ever said anything to you.

He hated that there wasn’t anything he could do for you unless your dad was gone.

Gone.

And idea popped into his head like someone flicked a light switch on in his brain. He turned his head, back and forth, looking for your phone. When he found it charging on his night stand, he stretched his arm out for it, careful not to wake up your sleeping figure.

He secretly knew your passcode after subtly watching you type it in a couple weeks ago.

His fingers tapped against your screen until he found the app he was looking for. Glancing down at you one last time, he shared your location with his phone.

When you squirmed in his embrace, JJ quickly put the phone back where he found it and pretended to be asleep in case you peeked an eye open at him. He hoped you didn’t feel his heart racing against his rib cage or his uneven breaths. He knew if you found out what he was doing, you’d be pissed. But before he fell asleep, he promised he was going to do anything necessary to keep you safe.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

On the day JJ knew you were going to be busy all day babysitting your neighbor’s kids, he rode his bike to Kildare County’s police station. He stared at the entrance for a long couple of seconds, hating every second of being in near proximity to this place. Basically going against every natural instinct he had to stay away and not trust the police.

But he was doing this for you.

He walked in, ignoring the couple of looks from officers he’s encountered over the years. They were mostly surprised he wasn’t being forced through the doors with his hands cuffed behind his back.

“I need to see Sheriff Peterkin, please.” JJ says politely.

The older woman looked JJ up and down. “Do you have an appointment?”

“It’s the fucking police station. Since when do you have to make appointments? You assume people are just gonna know when an emergency is going to happen?”

“Look kid -“

“JJ.” JJ turned and relief washed over him when he saw Sheriff Peterkin in the hallway looking at him confused but also concerned.

“I need your help.” JJ admitted. He hated cops. Probably always will. But he trusted Sheriff Peterkin. She’s always tried to help John B through his DCS struggles. She actually cared about what he wanted and never took the easy way out just to make her work load lighter. She remembered why she took the oath every day.

Peterkin never really liked the Maybank kid in particular, but she was able to see something in him pretty much every cop couldn’t. She saw the loyalty and the determination his friends saw. She could tell he didn’t want to grow up to be like his father.

She led him into her office and shut the door behind them for privacy. She gestured towards the seat in front of her desk and asked him to explain what was going on.

JJ’s mouth moved a hundred miles per minute. He told her how your mother didn’t know you would sneak out to see your dad despite the custody agreement. He mentioned the bills he made you pay and the bruises he would leave you despite your efforts to help him. He teared up when he mentioned his own dad - and how his father and your father had the same dealer. How your dad would make you go inside Barry’s home and use you like a a community bank account. He even told her about the gun Barry threatened to use on your dad right in front of you.

“Why are you tell me all of this?” Peterkin says slowly. She studied the boy in front of her who was slowly falling apart and felt sympathetic for the young blonde. It didn’t take a genius to know why JJ was telling her this.

“Because...y/n... she has a heart of gold,” JJ sniffled. “She won’t leave her dad behind to be homeless or killed because that man is her blood. It doesn’t matter if he beats her black and blue. She always goes back because she thinks she owes him.” He sighs. “I want him gone. I don’t care what you do to him. Arrest him, kill him. I don’t really care. Although the second choice sounds more strategic -“

“JJ -“

“And I don’t want her getting in any sort of legal trouble because it’s not her fault. She doesn’t do drugs or deal them or anything like that. She just stands there and watches her dad blow his money on coke and who knows what else. And her mom? Her mom has no clue what’s going on but it’s not her fault. Y/n is really good at hiding her pain. She forces a smile every day and -“ JJ’s breath hitched in his throat when he thought about how you faked your happiness every single day and how a girl like you should never feel as worthless as you do. “Her mom’s a good mom. And I don’t want people blaming her or taking Y/n away from her because they think she can’t control her -“

“Hey, look at me,” Peterkin says softly. She wanted to reach over the desk and squeeze his hand to comfort him. “I understand.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I remember having to visit their home when Mrs. Y/L/N was still married to him. Y/N mother’s a good woman. I wouldn’t let anyone come between them.”

“What about her dad? I tried convincing her to never see him again but she won’t do it. She’s afraid Barry will kill him.”

“I can’t bust into Barry’s home without probable cause -“

JJ stood up. “That’s bullshit! You know -“

“Without probable cause or evidence that proves Barry is holding drugs or being violent, I can’t barge into that home.”

“That’s -“

“Here,” Peterkin writes her number down on a post it note and hands it to JJ. “Without probable cause, I can’t arrest Barry and the men who work or buy from him.” She stared at JJ, hoping the boy will understand her hidden message. She points at the post it in JJ’s hands. “Now. If you need anything from me. Call that number and I will find you.”

JJ looked down at the number and slowly nodded his head, understanding what he would have to do.

“And JJ -“ the blonde turned. “Be aware of where your father is when you call me. I dont want you ending up in the same situation as your friend John B if that’s not where you want to be.”

JJ nodded. “Thank you Sheriff Peterkin.”

Peterkin nodded and walked him out of the station.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Three days later, JJ met his friends at the Wreck for lunch. He slowed his pace when he noticed the seat next to Pope wasn’t occupied and neither was the one next to Kie. 

“Where’s Y/N?” He asked them.

Kie looked at the others with furrowed brows. They all got the same text. The one where Y/N apologetically told them that something came up and wouldn’t be able to hang out today. They thought JJ would have known that. 

“She said she couldn’t make it,” Kie says. “We thought you knew.”

“Did she say why?” 

Pope shrugged. “Just that something came up.”

JJ ripped his phone out of his back pocket and scrolled through his messages with you. You didn’t text him - you didn’t even answer his good morning text. He knew what this meant. You didn’t like to lie, so you’re way of dodging questions you didn’t want to answer honestly is to make sure no one can ask you them. By avoiding them all together. JJ knew that. It made sense to him. 

“JJ, what’s going on?” John B asked his friends, recognizing the look on his best friend’s face. He was furious but also anxious. His leg hasn’t stopped bouncing up and down since he asked where you were. 

JJ clicked on the app that showed your location and saw you were deep into the south side of the Cut. He recognized the area of his father’s drug dealer. 

“We gotta go,” JJ stood up and motioned for his friends to follow. “Now. JB, you bring the Twinkie?”

“Yeah, but...” John B stuttered as he grabbed his stuff off the table. “What’s going on?”

“We're saving my girl from that douche bag she calls a father,” JJ says. “For good.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

John B pulled the Twinkie to the curb outside of Barry’s house, making sure to use the trees to hide his vehicle. The Pogues immediately recognized your car parked in Barry’s driveway. Confusion bubbled through their heads, but rage ignited in JJ’s.

“Why is she here?” Kie asked. 

JJ didn’t answer. He picked up his phone and clicked on Peterkin’s name. “It’s JJ.” The Pogues paused as they listened to JJ to talk to the Sheriff. “I -” He stopped when the sound of a gun shot being fired silenced all of them into panic. 

“JJ -” Peterkin called for him but JJ didn’t answer. He dropped the phone so fast and sprinted out of the van, towards the house. He didn’t care what kind of danger he was running into. He just knew he had to get you out of it. 

JJ ignored the calls from his best friends behind him as he ripped open the screen door. He stopped, looking left, right, up, down - anywhere for you.

He heard the commotion coming from Barry’s living room along with shouting and glass smashing. The first person he saw was Barry holding a gun up to the ceiling, pointed at the hole he left above him only seconds ago. He was glaring in the direction of you and your father, barely taking notice of the new kid in his home. Luke Maybank was the first to notice his son and narrowed his eyes in his direction. JJ gulped nervously - he didn’t know if it was because he was afraid of the guy with the gun or his dad. But what he feared the most was you not being okay.

Your eyes grew wide with fear when you saw the new face. You looked between JJ and Barry nervously, not knowing how Barry would react to the new member in his house. He was already pissed as it is, threatening to shoot you in front of your dad because neither of you could fork over the money your dad owed Barry. He was getting tired of the same old bullshit, and Rafe didn’t help. He stood silently in the corner with his fingers racked through his hair.

“Who the fuck are you?” Barry pointed the gun at JJ when he finally noticed him. 

“Hey, hey, hey, he’s good!” Luke came closer to Barry and said, “That’s my son.”

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Barry asked him. 

Luke looked past Barry at JJ for an answer he couldn’t give him. JJ glanced from Barry, to his dad, to you and gulped again as he tried to come up with answer. That’s when you understood what was going on. He was following you. 

You didn’t know if you should be mad or not. All you could focus on was the gun in Barry’s hand that’s still pointed in JJ’s direction. 

“Look, kid,” Your dad said to Barry, gaining his attention all over again. “I’ll make it up to you.” He put his hand on your shoulder and shoved you slightly forward. “You want to have her for the night? She’s all yours.”

Your head snapped in your father’s direction with your mouth open agape. Did your dad seriously just try to pimp you out? You felt betrayed, vile, used, and worthless. This isn’t something you do when you love your kid.

JJ seethed and clenched his hands in fists, ready to rock the shit out of your dad. “You son of a bitch -”

Luke, however, caught him in time, holding him by the arm and pulling him away from your dad. JJ tried fighting him off to get to your dad or you - to get you out of this entire home. He saw the scared look on your face and it made him want to set the entire house on fire. He’d do anything to protect you - to keep you safe. And right now, he thought he was failing. 

Then, red and blue lights flashed through the open windows, followed by loud sirens. Barry crossed the room to stand next to you and your father and looked out the window. When he saw the cops, he immediately swiveled around to point his gun at your boyfriend. 

“You called the fucking cops?” Barry sneered. 

“Stop!” You yelled to try and get Barry’s attention and away from JJ. 

You dad tried to use Barry’s distraction to his advantage and snuck up behind him to try and reach for the gun. Barry spun around and tried pulling his wrist away from your dad’s grip. As they fought for the gun and an upper hand, you ran across the room for JJ who immediately wrapped his arms around your waist. He kissed the top of your head and motioned for the front door, mumbling about leaving.

You nodded and grasped his hand in yours. When he turned to lead you out of there, another shot rang out and you flinched closer to JJ as he ducked and pulled your head down with his arms and shields your body with his. 

You heard a thump and the floor vibrated under your feet. 

“Shit -”

“Fuck -”

“What did you do that for -”

“Jerry? Hey! Jerry!”

Everything kind of moved in slow motion after that. You turned around to see what had happened and that’s when you saw your dad laying on the floor with a puddle of blood growing around his body. Your feet moved faster than your brain did to get to your dad. 

JJ tried reaching for you but you swiveled out of his grip and dropped to your knees in front of your dad’s body. His eyes were closed and his mouth open. You placed your hands on top of the wound in his stomach to get it to stop bleeding. You cried. You didn’t know why you were crying but you did. Hard and heavy, barely able to get your own breaths in. You didn’t pay attention to Rafe fleeing from the backyard, or Barry being stopped by the cops who stormed into the house with guns raised. You barely felt JJ place his hands on your shoulders to try and coax you up. All you saw and could feel was your dad’s dead body and his blood on your hands. 

“Honey,” You felt another set of hands touch your back as they knelt down next to you. You didn’t look at her but recognized the familiar voice. “He’s gone. It’s over.”

“No -” You voice was barely above a whisper. 

“I’m sorry. Let’s get you cleaned up. Okay?” 

Sheriff Peterkin nodded at JJ to help you up and lead you out of the house. He was  finally able to pull you up from your knees and placed a comforting hand on your lower back. 

Your friends watched from the barricade the police set up around the house. When they saw you, all of them either started to panic or cry. They thought your were hurt until JJ nodded at them to tell them you were okay. But they could see in your face you were anything but okay.

Another cop lead you to the back of an ambulance. You don’t even look at Luke being handcuffed next to Barry or Rafe disappearing in the trees. All you can think about is your dad. 

The EMT did a quick check up on you after realizing the blood on your hands was in fact not yours. Then they took a quick look at JJ and asked if there was someone they could call for you.

“My mom -” You whispered. 

The EMT nodded. “Do you have a number?”

You told the EMT her number and waited patiently as she walked away to call her. When the two of you were alone, JJ turned to look at you and reached out for your hands and held them in his lap. He rubbed his thumb up and down over the back of your hand and waited for you to say something. He didn’t know if any words could make this right. He didn’t know how to comfort you after you just witnessed your dad died. It didn’t matter if you hated him or not. You literally watched him take his last breath. Your own flesh and blood. That shit’s traumatizing. 

“I’m sorry,” JJ said when he realized you were not going to say anything. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I just - I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“This is my fault.”

“No,” JJ shook his head. “No. It’s not your fault. It’s Barry’s. He was the one with the gun -”

“I should’ve walked away. From my dad. From all of this.” A single tear rolled down your cheek. “I enabled him. I allowed it to get this far.”

“You were doing what you thought was best for your dad.”

“I got him killed -”

“He did this to himself, Y/N. You were more than the perfect daughter. You literally couldn't be more perfect if you tried.” JJ wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer into his side and kissed the top of your head. “He didn’t deserve you. There’s nothing you could have done to prevent this.”

You cried into his shoulder, letting the sobs wrack through your body and your heart tear into millions of pieces. JJ held you tightly against him and whispered comforting words in your ears. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

JJ stood by you through your grieving process - through the good and the bad. He’s took your harsh words with a grain a salt when he noticed you were just trying to pick a fight, he held you when you cried into your pillow in the middle of the night, he was by your side for a hand to hold when you told your mother what happened and why you were at Barrys for the millionth time, and he was there to tell you he will always be there for you when you think he’s just going to up and leave like your dad did.

After your dad’s funeral, you stood in front of his tombstone with a solemn expression. Your dad was a piece of shit and didn’t deserve your love, money, and attention. You wished you could go back and time and never give it to him. At least that way you wouldn’t feel all these complicated emotions that made no sense. Love, hate, grief, relief. You didn’t know how to feel. 

Coming up behind you was JJ. He weaved his fingers with yours and kissed your temple. You couldn’t believe there was ever a day where JJ Maybank was your enemy. You didn’t think you’d be able to get through this without him.

“JJ,” You said and looked up at him. “Thank you.”

JJ nodded. “I love you.” He would never admit this, but he was glad you dad was dead. Because now he knew you were safe. 

“I love you more.”

JJ shook his head. “Impossible.”

Tag List: @allycat449-blog​ @zarahsloves​ @redknight9​

[quillsandtypos]

Bold Moves

Summary: You unexpectedly make a new friend at a party while Luke does his best to distract you.

Words: 2.8k

Pairings: luke patterson x reader

Warnings: teenage drinking and a few cuss words

...........................................

You should’ve known better. But alas, here you were, at some party where you didn’t know anyone. Minus the band of course, but you hadn’t seen any of them in what felt like at least half an hour. Flynn had left an hour ago, you almost left with her, and you were currently wishing that you had. But a small part of you wanted to stay in case you got to hang out with Luke. You weren’t certain what you were thinking, it’s not like he would want to hang out with you. You considered going to go talk to Julie but she seemed to be having a good time, so you decided not to interrupt her; and instead you settled in the corner of the kitchen that seemed the least crowded.

After observing for a bit you decided that you needed something to dull the thoughts flowing through your mind. You got off of your stool to get some spiked red punch. You took a sip of it to find that it was more vodka than hawian punch. It burned your mouth and the back of your throat as it went down, but it would do the trick. You managed to gag down about half a cup before you noticed a girl around your age approaching you.

She had black straightened hair pulled up in a high ponytail. She wore a neon green two piece dress which nicely complemented the silver makeup she had applied to her dark brown skin. She took the other stool next to you.

“How’s the punch coming?” she asked with a widely toothed grin.

“Depends how low your standards are,” you remarked as you took another swing.

“Yeah, I noticed your first attempt,” she laughed.

You groaned internally about how you probably looked. “It was that bad?”

“Mhmm, I’ve seen worse tonight, so don’t sweat it.” She patted your shoulder in assurance. “I’m Allie by the way.”

“I’m y/n, nice to meet you,” you said with a smile.

Allie seemed to smirk at your introduction. “Oh trust me, I know who you are.”

You however, were certain you had never met this girl in your life. “Care to elaborate?” you asked.

“Your friend sent me over here to check on you.” She pointed behind her in the general direction of the massive living room, where you had last seen your friends.

“Please tell me Julie didn’t send you,” you groaned as you pressed your fingers against your temple.

“Yep, I believe that was her name,” she admitted.

You hesitantly looked over at her and made eye contact. “You really don’t have to hang out with me, you know that right?”

She shrugged. “I don’t have anything better to do, besides you don’t seem too bad.”

“You don’t seem too bad either Allie,” you agreed with a slight smirk.

“Well thank you, now your friend Julie tells me you’re over here moping about a boy?” she asked, though it was more of a statement. And it wasn’t a statement you could disagree with either.

“How much did she tell you?” you questioned.

“Not that much,” she answered with an anxious smile.

You continued to look at her, until she eventually sighed.

“Okay a decent amount, you don’t have to tell me anything, but would it help if I told you something about me to make it fair?” Allie suggested.

You couldn’t help but chuckle at her proposal but you agreed nonetheless.

“Well I was talking to this girl earlier, and I was going to get her number, but then I think she left before I could get it, and I’m really upset about it,” she started.

You took another swig of your drink and you continued to watch her as she continued.

“And she was wearing this bright orange top, and she had on these tall black heels and-” You cut Allie off as you realized the outfit she was describing sounded very familiar. Suddenly, the pieces fell into place.

“Wait, her name didn’t happen to be Flynn, did it?” you asked.

“Yes, it was! Do you know her?” she exclaimed.

“Are you kidding me, she’s one of my best friends!” you yelled.

“Do you think you could pass my number along to her?” Allie timidly questioned.

“Of course! Flynn mentioned something about there being a girl she met, but she had to go because her mom was coming home,” you explained.

Allie clasped her hand to her mouth. “She mentioned me?”

You nodded your head, you briefly considered telling her that Flynn had called her pretty too, but you decided that you would leave it up to Flynn to tell her that. After she had calmed down you handed your phone over to her to write down her number, which you immediately sent to Flynn. Not even a full minute later, Flynn had texted her.

Allie let out a small screech of excitement. “You are my guardian angel y/n!” she praised you.

You giggled at her compliment, “I didn’t even do anything.”

She tilted her head down at you to glare. “You saved me from never being able to contact her again, I will not be accepting that as an answer.”

You raised your hands in surrender. “Alright, you’re welcome then, but I do expect to be the first person on your wedding guest list,” you sarcastically commented.

“If this works out, hell, you can be my maid of honor,” she remarked.

You laughed hard enough at her retort that you nearly fell off of your stool, but you managed to pull yourself together when you realized Allie was still trying to talk to you.

“But now you have to let me pay you back,” she insisted.

You raised your eyebrows in confusion.

“You got me in contact with Flynn, so now I want to help you with your boy troubles,” she explained.

You internally debated for a couple minutes before eventually agreeing to accept her help.

“Okay, so tell me anything and everything you want to about him.”

As you dived into your pity story, you felt your somber mood starting to come back. “His name is Luke, and we’ve been friends for a couple months now. We’re really close and we flirt all the time, but I think I’m only ever going to be a friend to him.”

Allie narrowed her eyes at you. “Did you just say you flirt all the time but you think he only wants to be friends?”

“Yeah.”

“You know that doesn’t make any sense, right?” she questioned.

“Well I think he flirts that way with everyone. I don’t think I’m special to him in that way,” you admitted.

“First of all, I don’t know how anyone could look at you and not see that you’re special, but what does your boy look like?”

You couldn’t quite figure out why that would help, but you told her anyways. As you finished, she opened her mouth to give her take.

“See that’s where I think you’re wrong, I’ve been here since your group got here. And I haven’t seen him look at anyone like he looked at you when you walked in.”

“And what way was that?” you questioned before taking another sip of your drink.

“Like he wants to fuck you,” Allie said seriously. You nearly did a spit take, but you managed to hold back your laughter long enough for you to swallow.

“Allie, I think you’ve got him pegged wrong.”

She opened her mouth to comment on your sentence, but you held up a finger. “I know I set myself up for that one, but don’t do it.”

“Fine, if you wanna take all the fun out of it,” she quipped.

As she was momentarily distracted by her phone, you glanced around the room. You quickly recognized one of the faces in the crowd, as none other than Luke himself. He soon turned around to see you watching him. He arched his eyebrows at you almost in challenge, and when you did the same to him, his lips quirked up in a smirk. You knew exactly what he had just started, and in turn, what you had agreed to.

It was a sort of unspoken game that the two of you played. Whoever was the first to lose their composure, lost. You had won a grand total of one time, by a means of which you would never tell anyone about. But that didn’t stop you from playing it.

You turned back to Allie who started up a conversation mostly entailing complaining about school. You tried to stay in the conversation, but your brain kept pulling you back to Luke. You shortly after gave in, and stole another glance from him as he was swaying side to side to the music coming from another room. He jutted his chin out with a satisfactory grin, but you refused to give him a win, and stuck your tongue out at him. You couldn’t hear him, but you could see him tutting at you and shaking his head. You rolled your eyes and gave him the finger. While you knew that would probably end up biting you in the butt later, it was fun in the moment.

“Earth to y/n,” Allie snapped, and you came out of your daze.

“What? I’m sorry,” you apologized.

“You’re fine, I just asked you what I should send to Flynn,” she continued. She tried to hand her phone over to you, but you pushed it back.

“Flynn will know it’s me if I help, that girl has like a sixth sense for when someone’s lying. How do you think Flynn and Julie know I like Luke?” you pointed out.

“Good point, I’ll think of something.” She went back to her phone as she puzzled at whatever Flynn had sent.

As you tilted your head up you realized that Luke was unmistakingly closer than he was earlier. You would’ve moved if it weren’t for the fact that you were sitting with Allie. Which was likely the reason why he had moved closer, because he knew you couldn’t move away.

As you locked eyes again Luke’s eyes quickly pulled downward as they trailed down and back up your frame. You fought hard not to smile but you covered it well by turning to toss your hair backwards. As you faced him again you could see him mouthing something. After he repeated it twice you realized he said ‘damn right’. You hoped you somehow could miraculously think of something to say, but your thought process had momentarily stopped because of him. Either he hadn’t noticed your loss in composure or you hadn’t done enough yet to lose, despite the fact that you were already in a flustered daze.

“Dude are you alright?” Allie asked.

“What? Yep! Definitely,” you stumbled out.

Allie didn’t buy your lie for a second. “Are you sure?”

You still weren’t fully present. “Yeah, sorry, I’m just a little bit distracted with the setting,” you said without thinking.

“The setting?” she repeated, and you realized what had just come out of your mouth.

“That was maybe a little weird,” you laughed.

“It’s cool, but can you help me choose what photo to send to Flynn?” She showed you her phone which had a handful of photos of her in various outfits and in different places. Your eyes flicked up from the phone for only a moment, to see that Luke had been waiting for you to look up. He never broke his piercing gaze as his tongue peeked out from behind his lips and scooped up to almost touch his tongue before rolling back down.

“Shit,” you hissed, looking downwards.

Allie finally started to connect the dots. She looked from you to where Luke stood, then back to you.

“Wait, that’s why you’ve been acting weird!” she exclaimed.

“Yes, but could you keep it down please? He doesn’t need to know that,” you whispered.

“Right, sorry,” she muttered. You realized you needed a distraction from the infuriating hot boy in front of you so you forced your attention to go back to Allie’s phone.

“Oh by the way, I think you should definitely go with this picture, your lighting is the best.” You pointed to the far left photo in the middle.

“Ooooh, good choice,” she agreed, as she took her phone back. “So what’s up with the boyfriend?” she absentmindedly questioned.

“Again not my boyfriend, but he’s being a little shit,” you loudly spoke the second part. You watched as Luke dawned his most innocent face as he mouthed the word ‘what’ to you. You scowled at him, but he looked at you with a rather satisfactory grin.

Allie watched your silent banter with amusement. “He is all up in your hair, isn’t he?” she teased.

“No he isn’t!” you protested. But as you looked back and he winked at you, you had to slap a hand over your mouth to keep from screaming, and you realized she may have had a point.

“Oh, he is so, but goodluck with that one, though something tells me you won’t need it.” She winked before standing up.

“Are you serious leaving me alone with him?” you complained.

“You know that’s what you want, and I’m pretty sure he wants that too.”

“Fine, you may have a point,” you conceded.

“But you better tell me all of the details by tomorrow,” she insisted as she made her way out of the kitchen.

“Same goes to you!” you called out.

Luke quickly came over to take your previous friends spot.

“It’s so weird how you never seem to win y/n,” he sarcastically commented.

You lightly slapped his knee. “Oh shut it Patterson.”

One of his eyebrows quirked up. “I thought that was my line.”

You knew you probably should’ve let it drop but you weren’t quite certain what he was trying to say. “Then what’s mine?”

“Make me,” he answered without hesitation.

You sharply inhaled and closed your eyes, before glaring. “You are so lucky you are hot.”

Luke’s eyes widened and his corners of his lips tilted up. “What was that?”

Truthfully, you hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but you were not going to tell him that. “Nothing that you need to hear a second time,” you retorted.

“But what if I want to?” he sweetly protested.

“Well then you’re gonna have to try harder than that,” you scoffed.

Luke swallowed hard and cleared his throat. “Can I kiss you?”

While the question momentarily confused you, you hungrily agreed, and in seconds his lips were against yours. He was just as starving for the taste for you as you were for him. The kiss quickly deepened as his hands clutched the back of your neck for support, and your hands were tangled in his hair. His tongue quickly took dominance over yours as your lips parted for one another. It felt like your whole body lit on fire as rainbows flashed in your closed eyes. You only pulled away out of the fear that you would pass out if you didn’t.

“That was better than I’ve imagined, and I’ve thought about it a lot,” Luke raspilly admitted.

After a couple deep breaths it dawned on him what had happened.

Luke scratched the back of his neck. “Did I just say that out loud?”

“Yep,” you giggled.

He looked at you pleadingly. “You have to promise me, you’re not going to tell anyone that.”

“Nope, I’m telling everyone,” you teased.

“Oh shut it.”

You looked at him with a certain type of fire in your eyes. “Make me.”

He spun you so your right ear was facing him as he whispered into it. “You know, I drove my car here,” he hinted.

“What are we going to tell the rest of the band?”

“We can figure that out later,” he assured you, as he took a hold of your hand.

As you felt his warmth pressed up against your skin, you knew that there was no part of you that wanted to say no. “Alright, but they can’t find out. Otherwise, I will never hear the end of it from Julie.” Luke grinned from ear to ear.

“You’ve got a deal princess,” he agreed as he led you to his car.

Unsurprisingly, they all did find out later, and the two of you had to endure their teasing and prodding for the entire ride home. But this didn’t bother either of you because you were both still too happy to care.

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