#well guess i'll just fuckin starve

[emelinstriker]

my rant of the day

[lupinus-bicolor]

i havent seen this scene in its entirety (probably for copyright reasons, suck my ass disney) so i decided to clip it and share with u guys. sorry for the audio quality, I've subtitled it below the cut lol. if/when this gets copyright claimed just hmu I'll link it

DP: Ok I'm just gonna ask, what's with the suit? First thing I did when I flamed out, I took mine off.

W: Drop it.

DP: It's not that ugly.

W: Stop talking about my suit-

DP: Did you make it yourself? Been there.

W: Quit. Now.

DP: The xmen make you wear it? Those sons 'a fucking bitches. They are not your friends, I'll tell you that. Friends don't let friends leave the house looking like they fight crime for the Los Angeles Rams.

W: Shut the fuck up about my suit.

DP: Woah woah woah woah watch your frown lines, angel baby, I'm just trying to bond a little bit-

W: Yeah well then talk about somethin' else.

DP: Fine.

W: Stop it.

DP: If they can fix your world what's the first thing you're gonna do when you get outta here? Rubbing alcohol shots, maybe a wiper fluid chaser?

W: What did you say?

DP: When you get back, what's the first thing you're gonna do?

W: No, before that.

DP: If... They can fix your world?

W: What do you mean "if"? You lied to me, you don't have a fucking clue if they can help me fix things do you?

DP: No I mean- Ow! Fuck! Fuck! I didn't lie!

W: You lied!

DP: No I made an educated wish! Because I need you! This. This is why, right here. Because if we don't do something, they die. I don't know anything about saving worlds, and why would I even care? Because my entire world is right here in this picture. It's only nine people and I have no idea how to save it alone. I know how to fuck people up for money, but you! You know how to save 'em! At least, the other Wolverine did. Agh! I guess I'm stuck with the worst one.

W: Did you say you made an educated fucking "wish"?

DP: They call me the merc with the mouth, they don't call me "truthful Timmy, the blowjob queen of Saskatoon".

W: One more word. Please, give me one.

DP: Gubernatorial. Ah!

W: You know what, you're a fucking joke. No wonder the Avengers didn't take you, or the xmen, they'll take fuckin' anyone. I mean you are, you're ridiculous. Immature, half-wit moron. I have never met a sadder, more attention-starved jabbering little prick in my entire life, and that says a lot 'cause I've been alive for over two hundred fuckin' years. I tell ya, that bald chick was right about one thing. You will never save the world. You couldn't even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper! And motherfucker I wish I could say you'd die alone, but it's one of god's best jokes that you can't die, except that it's on all of us! You got nothin' to say, Mouth?

DP: I'm gonna fight you now.

W: Oh are you?

W: Not talkin' now, are ya?

DP: Ah, you dirty bitch!

DP: Baby knife!

DP: I take it all back, the Honda Odyssey fucks hard! Too bad you don't, needle dick.

W: Oh we're just gett'n started, bub.

[lizhly-writes]

hey guys do you wanna hear about my bad idea ahahaha i'm just joking i'm going to tell you whether you like it or not.

anyway! au where jiang fengmian brings back a starving orphan from the streets, and his name is yue qi.

(what happened to wei wuxian? don't worry about it it's fine) (idk maybe he doesn't exist? whatever)

yue qi is strong. yue qi is talented. yue qi tries harder than anyone. yue qi is perfect and you can't even really be irritated at him for it, because he's nice and polite and good-tempered and absolutely everything you could ask for in a da-shixiong.

jiang cheng feels so fucking bad about this. second best even in a whole new au, huh, a-cheng? but it's not your fault. even op protagonist bing-ge couldn't beat yue qi in a fair fight!

nobody knows this, though, so you're just going to have to suffer through the comparisons. it's your mom and your dad and all the little disciples thinking that yue qi is better than you. ooooh, that can't be good for that burgeoning inferiority complex your mom's instilled in you, huh?

but, you know. jiang cheng's going to be sect leader. he's going to need a strong sect. even if his mom fuckin bitches at him for not being as good as yue qi -- yue qingyuan -- then at least he's going to have a strong right hand, right?

HAHAHAHA.

so there are two routes we can go here. for the sake of my early morning ramblings, we're going to go for the more unrealistic one that requires me to jump through more hoops, because i think it's hilarious.

yue qingyuan starts getting more distant as he gets older. going on long nighthunts away from the lotus pier, you know. he stops leading the disciples in morning drills -- or, well, it's less that he stops, and more that he's not around to actually do that.

he's not around a lot.

snide, snide commentary about how yue qingyuan is going to run away to become a rogue cultivator, just like -- (but we don't talk about them). how yue qingyuan's not going to be da-shixiong for much longer. every time yue qingyuan returns to lotus pier, he seems to be more tired, more wound up, more stressed out --

and then everything stops. yue qingyuan comes back one day emotionally catatonic. he doesn't respond properly when people talk to him. unrelatedly (of course it's unrelated), there is some wailing and weeping in the night. some little shidi thinks that somehow a resentful ghost has made it into the pier and alerts da-shixiong about it in the morning.

thankfully, da-shixiong is back to normal in the morning. "i'll take a look," da-shixiong says, and then everybody forgets about it because da-shixiong is back and da-shixiong stops going on those long nighthunts away and everything is fiiiinnnne, don't worry. and if da-shixiong is a bit more brittle after that -- well, you're probably just imagining it.

jiang cheng worries about it. but yue qingyuan never says anything, because that's what yue qingyuan does. he never says annnnnnything to anyone.

of course, there's only so long you can argue with da-shixiong when the plot is coming up. gusu happens. the wens happen.

jiang cheng and yue qingyuan get sent to the wen evil summer camp, or whatever it's called. indoctrination, right?

lectures. drills. meaningless busy work for the sake of beating people down. obedience, and more obedience. there's a wen staring down every class, just waiting for them to slip up. there's one in particular that seems to have it out for yue qingyuan, sharp mouthed and pointy and HAHAHA OKAY, you've probably guessed who this is, haven't you? you're a genre-savvy audience, i bet!

ah, but i'll spell it out anyway, don't worry. for a-cheng, maybe, because jiang cheng can't guess, because yue qingyuan doesn't tell him anything. jiang cheng's out of the loop, on the outside, like he always is with yue qingyuan. don't worry, jiang cheng -- you're not special. he treats you like he treats everyone else.

but ah, that's the problem, isn't it?

jiang cheng stumbles over da-shixiong at night, past curfew, arguing with the wen. or, really, it's not arguing -- the wen is verbally eviscerating him, and yue qingyuan is just letting him. attacks on yue qingyuan's character and talent and everything, and about how yue qi's CLEARLY found a replacement (replacement? what does that mean?) and fine, you think you're so respectable now, of course only a high-bred sect heir is good for you (that jiang-gongzi, do you think he's a better version of me) (is this the version of me you've always wanted?) --

all yue qingyuan says is "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry--"

there's got to be one question on your mind, huh, a-cheng? yue qingyuan seems to know this wen. pretty well, it seems -- those insults aren't generic, this seems personal. why? how?

who the hell is wen qingqiu?

[halfetirosie]

😂❤️🏝️ Pure Dumb Fun and Romcom Nonsense 🏝️❤️😂

(Exercise 07 - 09 React-os!)

1) I truly adore the running joke about Eiden's infamous naming skills 😂

Like, the second they hear an unnecessarily long, cringey name, they just know who is to blame.

2) PFFFFT! 🤣🤣🤣

Eiden over here being so horny that he forgot that Quincy built like a goddam brick wall---

3) THE EMOTION MUSIC OVER THIS PART IS SENDING MEEEEE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

"Trouble-averse ass...."

Eiden, babes. This might be an intense sports competition, but it really isn't that serious...

4) QUINCY USING THE POWER OF HUGS!!!

I'm so fuckin jealous!!!

As long as you're not barreling towards him top-speed, I bet Quincy Hugs™ are top tier. I've said it many times, and I'll say it again---I WANT TO GIVE QUINCY A HUG, I JUST KNOW HE GIVE THE BEST HUGS EVER---so Eiden better be fully appreciative!

Lucky bastard!!! 😤😤😤

5) I'm convinced the Devs are trying to kill us all with these visual gags---

(Side note---On a scale of one to ten, how likely is it that they only made Quincy's SSR holding a bottle in order to include this particular visual gag during the story event? :D)

6) S....STINKY FIEND....

GET DUNKED ON, DANTE!!!! 😂😈

I love it when Eiden responds to Dante's Tsundere Bullshit™ with an Uno Reverse card and they just end up arguing in the dumbest way possible! ♡♡♡

And my boi Dante is always getting stuck with the absolute worst nicknames---ala Lord Jackass---and it's just so beautiful!!! 🤣🤣🤣

It's like everyone silent agree that this guy, this lil' fucker right here, shall forever be the #1 target for teasing!!!

7) PFFFFFT!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

♡♡♡ CRINGEFAIL DORITOMAN, MY BELOVED!!! ♡♡♡

Leave it to Dante to grab Eiden's ass completely by accident!

The sudden realization tho..... It's a work of art.....

This is the most Aggressively Anime-Tropey thing I have ever seen....

(It's like that part where I guy trips and ends up grabbing a girl's boobs... Except, you know, gayer.)

8) Morvay, sweetie, you're not helping the situation....

Okay but, it's safe to assume that there's some children in the audience of this event, right? Is it okay for him to be calling attention to this "licentious" situation??? (I know that kids probably wouldn't even know what that word means, but some of the older ones could figure it out by context clues....)

9) Danteeeee, my Touch-Starved King!!!!!

He's basically an overgrown kid experiencing his first crush, not sure how to even function, and it's SO FUCKIN CUTE!!!

LOOK AT HIM!!!!

Babes is so flustered that he's pulling An Edmond and blaming his feelings on Eiden.... IT'S SO ENDEARING I, I CAN'T HANDLE IT...

10) This is not important at all, but somehow I can vividly picture Eiden absolutely dominating at high school dodgeball 😎

He's just got that scrappy energy to him---I picture him as a well-liked social butterfly that everyone knew, and had insane skills at the most random things like dodgeball....Is that too specific? Just me? Bah, whatever. It's just fun to imagine.

( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

11) I suspect that if we made a drinking game after every time some pulled A Father during this event (suddenly attempting to block someone's nudity/compromising pose), we'd all get severe alcohol poisoning..... 😅

Nah but, didn't Eiden create this swimsuits/outfits? Why the fuck did he choose a material that gets see-through when wet??? When they would be competing in front of a huge crowd?????

Seems like a severe oversight...

12) OHHHHH, okay, that makes more sense!

I'm sorry for doubting your honor, Eiden!

I guess they loaded the water balloons with a special potion that causes the transparency.

Still unsure if that was a good idea, but okay bubs.... 🤷‍♀️

13) Eiden's heroic sacrifice! 😂😂😂

Bless Garu's little heart, he's such an angel!!!! 😂😂😂 Whole-heartedly reassured Eiden over something so dumb and sillyyyy!!!!

14) Yeah.... I was rooting for my boi Dante, but I could see this coming 😅

I mean, our dude basically flashed his butt to everyone, so I suppose he deserves a win for all of that trouble 😅😅😅

15) EIDEN, YOU'RE SUCH A CHAMP!!! AN ABSOLUTE TROOPER!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

If I had a nickel for every time Eiden exposed himself to a group of people in order to spare a clan member's dignity, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

(First during Fanciful Capriccio--sparing Dante in the story of The Emperor's New Clothes--and then now. Expect, During Fanciful Caprissio they were stuck in an illusion, so technically the crowd wasn't real, but I think it still counts.)

🏝️ End of report! 🏝️

[erin-writes-ghost-fluff]

Cheater

A/N: Well, I guess this drabble wanted out before the bigger fic, I'm writing. No minors/under the age of 18 allowed. My fluff is not for you.

Fandom: Ghost

Characters: Grave, (OC) Copia

Warnings: Tickles, so if that's not your thing, you've been warned. RHRN spoilers

Italian translation: Zio- Uncle

~ ~ ~

The phooka growled, tail twitching, as Copia gained first place over her in the video game. He smirked triumphantly at the angry pout on her face, trying not to laugh as she vainly struggled to reclaim victory.

"You fuckin' cheated!" Grave accused finally, making Copia bark out a laugh.

"I didn't! It's not my fault you're shit at this game! Get good!"

"'Get good!'" Grave mocked in a shrill, high pitched voice, "piss mires and spiders be in your bed!"

He blinked before letting out another laugh, pausing the game, so he didn't get too distracted.

"Pfft-! What are piss mires?!" Copia giggled, unable to stop at the moment.

"Ants!" Grave explained, tail twitching, glaring at who she considered her uncle. Her nose and whiskers twitched irritably.

"Aww, c'mon!" He chuckled, ruffling her fur, "don't be sore! I'm not trying to offended you, it's just, eh... Your Irish sayings are funny! They're cute!"

Oh, so he thought she was funny, did he? He wanted to laugh?

"Zio, have you forgotten what happens when you offend The Fair Folk?"

...Copia didn't like that tone. He'd known this creature for ten years now and that inflection in her voice only meant one thing:

Mischief.

"Wait!" He attempted to bargain, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, I-I'll get you some blackberries and-"

His rambling was cut off by a yelp he gave, as the phooka tackled him, sitting on his thighs. Now he really began to struggle but not too much. He'd let her have her fun of course. He always did. Still, Copia had to be just a little sassy.

"As your superior, head of The Ministry, and your uncle, I order you to let me go!"

Grave only snickered. "No." She declared simply, before he felt her little raccoon claws softly scratch the sides of his belly.

The former front man exploded back into loud laughter, thrashing his legs in an attempt to throw her off.

"No! Not this! I hate it!" He whined through his giggles, which grew louder as each second passed.

"That's a lie!" Grave pointed out, causing a light dusting of pink to spread across his cheeks.

Copia didn't dare respond to such a statement aloud. His laughter grew squeakier as she gently kneaded and pinched his stomach. Strength was already depleting from the poor man, evidenced by his attempts to grab Grave's wrists and shove them away, but could only hold them.

He wheezed when she suddenly switched spots, claws quickly scurrying up his ribs.

"AH! Don't!" He squeaked, clamping his arms down, trapping her hands.

The phooka began to giggle alongside him, finding his laughter contagious as always. Despite everything since Terzo and his brothers were killed, despite the hardships, the sorrow, and the tears, she and Copia always found a way to have fun. He had become as attached to her as Terzo had been.

These last few weeks had been exceedingly rough on him. He fluctuated between waves of grief and anxiety over his new promotion as Frater Imperator . Sister's ghost wasn't exactly helping. But he knew he could count on Grave to raise his spirits. Just as she was doing now.

Copia nearly hit the ceiling when he felt her nibble and gnaw at his ribs like a starved animal. He nearly screamed in shock, cackling uncontrollably.

"Learned your lesson, old man?" Grave asked, a wide grin on her face.

"I'm not old!" He argued with a snort.

"Hmmm, debatable!" She spontaneously changed tickle spots again, her claws now going for his thighs, touch still gentle as she squeezed.

He guffawed, having quite the fit as she never stayed in one spot, always changing every few seconds.

"Fine, fine! I'm sorry!" He squeaked. "Mercy! Mercy!"

Satisfied, Grave ceased all attacks, and moved off of him before grabbing a handful of chips, and stuffing them in her mouth.

"You're a menace!" Copia groaned, sitting up. "I'll get you for this!"

She waved a dismissive hand.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever! I'll cross that bridge when I get to it! Let's just continue the game, eh?"

Copia glared at the creature playfully, picking up his controller with a mocking scoff. She was a gremlin but she was his gremlin.

[carpenoctemnyx]

Every single little moment in NPMD in order that just scratches my brain in the best way. I mean tbh the whole show does, but these moments are what the tism is grasping onto.

(WARNING: Its a LOT of moments, so theyre all under the cut since the post is so fuckin long)

"And I can survive it for only so long"(all of them)

The "im so fucking dead" from the ensemble during steph and pete's convo

"'CHEATER!!' 'OH GOD BUTT OUT CHASITY!!'"

"My melody! My melody! My melody"

"AWOOO! AWOOO! RAWR!"

"Grace just be cool! NEVER!"

"Im so fucking dead! YEAH!!"

"No! I wanna be invisible! Then why do you come to a public school dressed in suspenders and a fuckin bow tie?"

"Sycamore? I'd rather starve to death."

"Oh my god!! YOU'RE Micro-Peter! Oh, god."

"This outfit it the tapestry of my trauma!"

"Anyone every do this? *snap* Every damn day. My titties are tenderized!"

"It's polish."

"Spankoffski! Who are you running from? Ehh."

"He's straight ahead!"

"You wont defeat his kind. Never look in the eye. He's a literal monster!"

"Everyone knows how he BANGS!"

"He roars, and we cry, hes the reason with no why. He's a literal monster! A damn literal monster!"

"It's 3rd period, Shit-lips. I gotta get to remedial algebra."

"I never intended to walk through your hallway. Ohhh well theres a difference between intent and impact."

"FUCKNUGGET!!"

"Haha YEAH! NO dumbass!"

"Ohhh sorry! Fresh out of your favorite food! I guess im just gonna have to flick it!"

"Ohhhh a two bagger? Hahahaha! Whats a two bagger?"

"Oh!! That's so sick bro! Thats so fuckin funny! PYAHHH *punch sound*"

"Get him up!! Get this fucker up!!"

"Now deposit this trash in the nearest receptacle."

"Haha haha hahaha! Spunk! You're funny."

"*appalled* carry my books!?"

"Chasity, come on! You're breakin my balls."

"You dont know me very well, do you??"

"Watch some p0rn! You'll see! Tell me im wrong dirty girl. Dont call me that!"

"My little dirty girl *that one audience member OHHH*"

"And his name is Jesus Christ!"

"Forbidden fruit, dick hole!"

"You can leave, but you wont, stay in your seat!"

max's lil dance when hes singing "better leave your hopes behind no ones gonna stop me" that leads into that lil airplane arms move

also including the dance move with kyle "you wont defeat his kind, never look in the eye"

"You can watch as i rise! I will claim what is mine!"

"Learn to multi-task!"

"Well, well. If its not my october surprise."

"Stephanie, please, I'd like to have an intelligent conversation with you. In other words, shut up."

"Hooow ominous"

"Hey that looks like my... phone. It is."

"Please daddy?"

"NOO!! *dives forward and shoves hand in the way* Did you just put your hand BETWEEN the hammer and the phone??? ...yeah..."

How... am i supposed to study withOUT LISTENING TO SPOTIFY!?!? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?? YOU'RE KILLING ME WITH WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!! If only, Stephanie. If only."

"This project's on thermo-dynamics. What the fuck are you talking about?"

"God! I just want someone to touch me! Anyone, PLEASE! Jesus! Calm down Ruth."

"Somebody walks to the office with Stephanie LauTer and suddenly he's Stefan Urquelle."

The way Richie Says peTe and uuusing you

"What was it like when she touched your arm? DID YOU CUM??? Ruth! Quit it!"

The way Richie says peTeR

"I'll never hold the real Rei and Asuka in my arms"

The way Pete says "Sorry!" To Ruth when his phone is ringing

The way Richie says TelemArkeTer

"NANI!?!?" *Ruth and Richie creeping towards Pete*

"What is she saying? What the FUCK is she saying!?"

"Oh my god!! Oh my god!! What's the matter with you guys!?"

"WEEOO WEEOO!!"

"I'm actually the smart one in the group, if you can believe that."

"Really Ruth? A star wars analogy? Need i go into why Attack On Titan is superior in EVERY possible way!?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!! Excuse me? Uh, not you. Just these two FUCKING nerds that wont leave me alone."

"They dont call it a cram session for nothing! Watch some p0rn! You'll see!"

"You're telling me I gotta be funny, AGAIN? I didnt do it on purpose the FIRST time!"

The way Richie says opportunity. It sounds like opportudidy

"Thats your perspective"

"Oh whoa whoa oh"

Then again im deranged"

"What if people see me as someone other than who I am"

"If i can finally be cool i will know that im not a loser!"

"I'm the ruler!"

"OHHHH! *crowd cheers* SHUT UP!"

"EUGH!! So you're a POOR piece of shit then?"

"Well im sick of your sh-sh-shit"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP JASON!!"

"I dont give a fuck what she said! I did not consent to this rendez-voos!"

"I decide if Kyle can date Brenda. *turns to Jason* The answer's still no... by the way!"

"I willed it into existence"

"Im your God. Now on your knees, bitch. It's time to say your fuckin prayers! *cuts to the Chasitys* Amen!"

"Mmm, that house. What's wrong with it? Its haunted. Everyone says so."

"DAD GROSS!!"

"Mom will you pass the butt stuff? The butter. Butter. Will you pass the butter? Eheh I just want some head and butter. BREAD! BREAD! Bread and butt sex to go with this big shaft of meat im gonna choke down. Ohhhh boy. Oh criminy!"

"And theyre flyin reaaal low today"

"Some big, dumb, sexy, sweaty, hooot, football star"

The way Grace says "Hello??" When fantasy Max is calling her name

"Im hungry, and here you are brewing up a big ol' pot of dirty girl soup *siffs aggressively* ahhhh! My favorite!"

"You call my bath water dirty girl soup? This is wrong! This is sooo wrong"

"I know!" *max rips off his jacket and the crowd screams*

"I love... to FUCK!"

The entirety of Dirty Girl Soup song but extra extra emphasis on certain parts

"Hey boo, daddy needs a little of that dirty soup"

"You're lookin all filthy like, you know its wrong i know its right"

"I'll never ever tell ya to behave i am expecting you to be-betray me"

"Ima love you all night long" including Max's lil hip thing

"Oh! Dirty dirty girl wont you sing for me wont you love me like you dont care. (all of these esp the ones with Grace)

"Hey brute"

"Its clear you never stepped in a classroom" including Grace's lil dance move here

The way Grace says School

"For shame. I am expecting you to be-behave" including Grace's lil dance move here too

"On your knees pray along, if you wanna last until dawn"

And then the dirty dirty girl section including the dance

"RAH-AHH" *hand wave thing* and the second one of this too

"Got me hungry for more. Hungry for more."

"Im a im a im a good girl x4 WHO ON OCCASSION GETS DIRTY!!"

Again cue the dirty dirty girl bit + dance

Grace's lil shaky moan thing after "poisons the air"

"Damn these wandering hands! Damn these sinful loins!"

"This is a no-moan household!"

".....I'll get the plunger...."

"Girl! That must be so embarrassing for you."

"Standing up the mayor's daughter like he's got no fucks to give? Not gonna lie. Thats really sexy."

"Oh my god! The fucking bowtie kid??"

"Hey uh... dweeb! *both Richie and Ruth respond* yeah?"

"Oh shes touching meee! Luckyyyy!"

"Its better than i even imagined" *cute lil twirl*

"And what, pray tell, may that be, Stephanie?"

"God, you suck, Grace."

"Isn't this like breaking and entering? Im not breaking anything. My dad's the realtor!" *jingles keys*

"Hacked em to bloody bits!"

"PottyPants? How about PissyPants? Im not comfortable with the plan if it involves that kind of language."

"Im not comfortable with this place. Its not structurally sound."

"Don't bully me!"

The whole Bully the Bully song but extra extra emphasis on specific parts

Grace's lil snap and spin moment

"Petey gonna jump on out" *Pete's lil move here*

Ruth saying "we're gonna cut off his nips!" And then Richie's lil shimmy move

"Ahhhhahhhh"

"Richie the whole point is that its in the dark! Well then im gonna have to shoot the whole thing in a wide, and its gonna look like shit!"

"No! We're gonna be cool beans. We're gonna keep the beans cool. We're gonna gonna keep the beans, beans the cool, keep the beans, the cool, keep the beans, bean school. Beans school? Excellent!"

"I still wanna talk.... Hello...? Hello....? Hello? Who was that? My boyfriend! Sounded like a telemarketer. Okay, my EX boyfriend."

"You're the best friend ive ever had. Oh thats sad. I think im in love with you. Okay..." *walks away*

"Am i reading as ghost, or Lin Manuel Miranda?"

"You kinda look like that homeless guy from downtown. Ohhh. But that could still work, he gets pretty scary sometimes."

Ruth's lil butt wiggle

"I mean you could just hit it and quit it, bro! Yeah... I dont want to though... You're fuckin useless pete!"

When Max walks up and burps and says "i gott piss" and this does a cute lil bouncy move

"Oh shiiiit. Wheres that creepy music comin from?"

"do it alfuckinready"

"Who's there? Maaaaax Jagermannn. WHAT!?"

"Oh shit! Oh fuck! Its a fuckin ghost!"

"Its time to stop running!" *chugs bear and smashes the can on his head and yeets it, then puts up his fists* "float over here ghost,* starts punching the air* im gonna kick your fucking ass!"

"Uhhh you cant fight me im an etheral being soooo... we'll see about that. Ima make you say boo-hoo, bitch! *charges at pete and pete runs away screaming* YESSSS I MAKE THE DEAD RUN IN FEAR!!! I AM JAGERMAAAAAN!!! I AM GOOOOD!!!! GOOO NIGHTHAWKS!!!"

*skele-ruth runs ins and does her lil scream thingy* "oh shit! Oh fuck! I didnt think there'd be a skele'en here! Im so fucking scared of skele'ens! Maybe i should just run! Where, Max?? Back home so Dad can call you a little cuck?? Can't even fight off one lousy skele'en?? No! I got not choice! Hey, Skele'en! I got a bone to pick with you, bitch!"

"It's working for me! He's sooo violent!"

Ruth's lil yelp after steph tells max to stop

"Steph we cant have a party here! This place is hella haunted!"

"It's all a prank. A trick to scare the shit out of you cuz you deserve it. What??? You're telling me you nerds put this whole thing together just for me? Wow. I though you guys hated me. But thanks. This was really great. You're not pissed? Oh! Are you kidding?? Nonono this is like THE nicest thing anyone's ever done for me."

"Ohhhh! And the skele'en. Oh. That was really special" *Max bows to Ruth*

"Look what you fuckin nerds made me do! I pissed my fucking pants! ....mission accomplished???" *Pete signaling to cut it out and Ruth and Grace behind him like wtf Richie*

"This wasnt murder! And it wasnt an accident! It was an act of God!"

"Oh yeah! Like thats gonna hold up in court! He was smote!"

Grace's snap and spin again and Richie groaning "oh nooo shes snapping again!!"

"We're gonna hack all his limbs off! Did you say hack all his limbs off?? Yeah! We're gonna hack all his limbs off!"

"You want me to films this!?!?!?!"

"Aaahhhahhhh"

"Thank god Max is gone. Wasnt he your friends?? YEAAAAHHHH but he forbade me from dating, AND he wrecked my dad's Ski-Doo. FUCK that guy."

"Good news! You passed the test?? With flying colors! Oh-ho! Aaaaaa C+"

"Ya know, this is really your C+. Oh... Steph... you can keep it. It'd really bring down my GPA."

"No, Jagerman doesnt let nerds go to footba-... huh... you know maybe i will."

"Go, go Nighthawks! We'll take the fight unto the victors go the spoils! Go, go Nighthawks! We're taking flight we are the leaders and the royals! AHH-AHH!" Including the lil bird wing flappy thing

"N! I-G! H-T! AHH-AHH! KS!"

And the dudes in the background goin "Night! Hawks! Night! Hawks! Fly!"

"Fuuuck you Clivesdale go get fucked! You're fuckin losers, and we'll kill you! Kill your ass!"

They're my bros for life!"

Richie struggling to take off the mascot costume

"Ohhh. I remember what /I/ said. Do you? You FUCKIN NERD?"

"That aint good news for you, ya bitch"

"You shouldve joined the smoke club, you nerdy prude! NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE! *cue Jon bein fuckin goated at imitating a levitation* Nerdy prudes must diiiie!"

"I want you to repeat after me. Okay... Who will pray for me? Who will pray for me? When im gone? When im gone? Until another Richie, comes along. Can you repeat that one? WHO WILL PRAY FOR MEEE WHEN IM GONNNE OR IS THIIIIS THE ETERNAL DARK WITHOUT A DAWN! Who will pray for you? Who will pray for me? When your body's gone? When my body's gone? This is the consequence for what you've done! I'M NOT A LOSER! WHAT DID YOU SAY!?! ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᵏᶦˡˡ ᵐᵉ. Im not a nerdy prude. Im not a loser! Of course nooot, Richiiie."

“He wasn’t sexy at all… MAMA IM CURED!!!”

“Shoot n shinola!”

“Mornin Daaaaadddy!”

“You don’t say? You don’t say! Welllll I’ll be down there in a jiffy! What did they find dad? They didn’t say!”

“Gosh! I hope it’s not termites! Haha”

“Ohhhh heck. I’m so heckin fudged!”

When the gang is getting called to the principals office and Pete just says “oh no” in like a monotone-y way

“Dont look at me! Get your hands out of your pockets! ….sorry sir….”

The reluctant “go nighthawks”

“Shut the fuck up Ruth!”

“We lost to CLIVESDALE!! FUCKIN *kicks chair* CLIVESDALE!!!”

“Yeahhh… thanks for NOTHIN!!!”

“Yes Ruth! We are fucked!”

“People tell me to die everyday!”

“Someone spilled the beans! All our cool beans!”

Again Ruth’s “Don’t bully me!!”

Pete’s lil “no” when Grace accuses him

“I’m gonna get those pigs off our backs!”

“Shock! Despair! Tragedy!"

“I’ve never known darker times, and I covered the protest live at the Hatchetfield Kennel! I am Dan Reynolds! With action news, week days at 10pm.”

And down down down down, who’s swinging the hatchet now in hatchet town! Someone’s got their hands on the hatchet handle. Swingin on the youth it’s a hatchet scandal. Careful or your folks will end up a cannibals plate. It ain’t great! You’re better on the run than you are hiding, suddenly this quiet town’s exciting.”

“I heard that their brains were soup, their intestines cut in two. So it’s gotta be Donna! What??? Yeah it’s gotta be Donna! DAAAAN!?!?!”

“I certainly don’t LOVE killing”

“Barry’s on the loose and he’s got a gun, and he’s got a motive to kill. IM IN A HURRY!!!”

“Get your hands off me!!!”

“Careful or your kids will end up on Charlie’s plate. Excuse me?? He just ate! How dare you!”

“Singing all these songs gives him greater windows to kill, but we’re singing still!!”

And now THIS PART. The ENTIRETY OF BRYCE CHARLES’ SOLO. It’s fucking transcendent!!!

“Until GERALD! went on his murder spreeeee! I KNEW IT WAS GERALD!! Linda, call my lawyer. Let’s kill him!!”

“Can I shit or will I drown??”

“Ohhhh barbecue monologues, eh? I saw that in New York. Really? How was it? Fuckin ✨transcendent✨”

Joey's whole monologue thing here but extra emphasis on “Every Kah-bob”

“I wanna remember who I am….”

Trevor’s “My barbecue!”

*ruth throws hands up* “I guess!”

“Betcha I could do it! Betcha I could!”

“in my dream, it’s MY barbecue!” *ruth’s little arm wave thing*

“How can something be medium AND well?”

“All of the trappings of the well to-do!”

“And life is fine, if only it were mine.”

“Judge me!”

“And the world’s a stage, when you’re middle of age.”

“It’s well done on the outside, not within! OOOH!”

“Oh ohhh just for once! Just for once! Just for oooooonce!”

Ruth’s cute lil tap dance move

“I used to dance. I used to dance”

“Oh nooo my anxiety *gags* I’m gonna hurl!”

“I believe your next line is AAAAHHHH”

“Project Ruth! They can’t hear you in the back row! Ow, my butt! You’re splitting me in two!”

Max slowly putting the “underwear” over Ruth’s head and then petting her

“Take a bow, bitch!”

The theater director’s dramatic screaming

“No nonono! You can’t do this to me okay?? This isn’t my fault! This isn’t my plan! Woah woah woah who’s place was it Grace? IT WAS GODS PLAN!! And now he’s leaving me out to dry! DO SOMETHING YOU SON OF A BITCH!!”

“Don’t! FOLLOW ME!”

“And he gives me his numberrrr! Very smooth!”

“EXCUSE ME! *audience screaming* I have been waiting for what feels like five fucking years and I STILL have not received my goddamn hot chocolate! Sorryy sir *deadpans fake spitting* here you go. …thank you….”

“MY dad sells women’s shoes!”

“Don’t spin this back on meee”

“Because you’re crazy about me. …..WHAT!?”

“On the first date, Steph? Have some respect for yourself!”

“If I loved you, you would know it. If I loved you, I would show it. If I love you like you should be loved. If I loved you like I’m capable of. If you were the one I’m thinking of, woah ohhh, oh babe I’d let you know”

“Wake me up when you turn eighteeeeen”

“LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS!” *shove*

“Did they buy it? Ha!”

“Gimme a cup of hot water, and make it strong!”

“Does your phone plan cover calls to hell?”

“She’s bisexual and dead! Where else would she be??”

*whips out gun* “JUST COOL YOUR BEANS, STEPH! Just cool em right the heck down!”

“Shut the front door, spankoffski!”

“SIR! DOOOO NOT APPROACH ME! GET YOU HANDS OUTTA YOUR POCKETS! PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN! HE’S GOING FOR A GUN!! *runs at paul*”

Pete’s “HOLY SHIT!!” When officer bailey rushes at Paul

“STOP RESISTING! STOP RESISTING!” *cue Emma screaming*

“You ruined our lives Grace!! I knowwww *sobbing* I just haven’t been thinking clearly lately. All I wanted was to be a regular girl, with no sexual desire, until she was safely married. I never asked for this tickle in my mommy spot. I’ve done so many terrible things, like touching myself and lying to the police. …..and dismembering a body….. well… we all did that, so…. But I called god a son of a b-word. Who am I!?!? *more sobbing* ohh.. it’s alright Grace. Don’t comfort her. She’s fuckin weird.”

“Stephanie, please. I’ve been bugging your phone since you were 12.”

“I don’t give a shit who you kill, but you just HAD to go and do it in that house, didn’t you?”

“A book??”

“You mean… satan? Oh no… they’re much worse.”

“K-yuck, k-yuck, k-fuck!”

*head gets thrown on stage* *collective screams* “Damn you miss tessburger! You were worthless!”

“Nerdy Prudes must die. That’s not me! I’m an elected official!”

“I can buy you beer!”

“I hate politics! It’s for NERDS!”

“Pete get behind me! I’ve got a gun! Steph, it’s a ghost… I don’t think that’s gonna do any good…. On the ground, bitch! I’m a cop!”

“Heck! Heck no!”

“Are you a woman of faith? Catholic. I’ll take that as a no.”

“He’s right there! WHAT THE FUCK!?”

“Pete, is she okay? Can you feel a pulse? I have no idea what I’m doing.”

The entirety of the summoning scene. It’s my favoritest part of the whole show.

Extra extra emphasis on “we don’t give a shit about your phone!”

Max’s slow mo run beat boxing to stop the bullet

“So you do know the Bible”

Grace taking her hair down and shaking it out

“Grace what are you doing?? SHUT YOUR FUCKING FART HOLE SPANKOFFSKI!! I wanna hear this! As you were saying Grace….”

“Brewin a pot of dirty girl soup, just for you! What?? Uhh, It’s what you call my bath water in my sexual fantasies. *GASP* that’s nastyyy….. I like it.”

“What… the fuck… is happening right now!?!?”

“GRRRR! I’ll be right back!”

The background dialogue of Grace and Max and then Peter saying “holy cow they’re doin it! Grace is having sex with a fucking ghost!”

Grace sauntering out and smoking a cigarette and saying “wooow I needed that” and then max being baby girl and swinging his legs in the air and saying “where you goin? Don’t you wanna cuddle a little bit?”

“I paid the price, now fuck off” *Grace twirl*

“Nonooooooowwwhatever! It was fuckin worth it!”

“What the fuck you just say to me!?!?”

“Mom said it would help me make friends. Boy was she wrong.”

“Liek eye dew”

“That was… absolutely disgusting!!”

Graces evil laugh “the souls of the pervs make me strong” more evil laughter

“DIRTY DUDES MUST DIE! DIRTY DUDES MUST DIIIIEEE!!”

“RUN YOU LITTLE BITCH”

“Darkness will spare my soul”

“Run dudes. RUN”

[fuwaprince]

I'm howling as in doing whatever Howl is doing here in this gif

Got no family, my friends are all far and most aren't even in positions to support themselves (bless them) let alone others/questionably-worthy me. Life feels almost loveless, the economy sucks and I still haven't got a job. I get daily reminders that the people closest to me don't particularly enjoy me taking up space.

My body is twitching and I'm just so alone. I don't speak as in talk to anybody who actually likes and wants to talk to me so whenever I use my voice it's usually to defend myself or escape an interrogative situation. Barelyyyy eating enough. I'm actively losing weight not in a good way

This next one is big.

The one person willing to help me irl is a disrespectful creep to say the least. I'm hurt that people can be so shallow and sickly motivated. I'm sad that no one else here cares. His care comes off so insincerely when he says it's "because he GENUINELY loves me" but consistently doesn't fuckin act very loving. Do I block him? HOW COULD I? I TRULY depend on him for emergencies... rides to interviews, for covering the difference when I'm short on rent, for food when begging doesn't work. He was the only person willing to look for me when I was on the streets and maybe his reason for doing so wasn't very nice but he did it. That means something to me I guess? What does it mean?

I straight up BEG this dude "PLEASE... DO NOT only decide to help my desperate ass based on the premise that you expect your fantasies (that I'm going to be pressured enough into becoming your wife legal possession at the end of all this) to turn into reality!!!!!!".

When I need a hug and have no one but he says he's willing to drive to see me, I HATE knowing I need to say no because I know it's also like saying yes to something else secretly!!! I just want hugs. Innocent physical intimacy. Handholding, just sitting on a bench close enough to touch! I need a hug more than I need food sometimes so it feels.

If I ask him to stop, he asks WHY HUH? 😡 while continuing. Anyone remember Boris from Dreaming Mary? He does this all the time so I expect it when I see him and he immediately gets touchy. When I kindly remind him that I'm not interested, he suddenly shifts into offended fucking asshole. Rude comments. Degradation. Suddenly starts talking about his gun and how he wants to shoot it and wants a new one 🙄. Sometimes it's pettier punishment like I'll be lucky to get a response if I dare mention anybody else especially if I love them more than him. I grieved my ex gf and he was just not happy about that at all. Kept demanding I explain why it couldn't be him and kept being all "what makes her so great? 🙄 pfft" ( EVERYTHING BTW SHE WAS THE MOON AND STARS AND I WILL FOREVER STAY LOYAL TO HER). But no this dude gets NASTY MEAN. Don't fall for the sad boy shit. Like he hopes I fucking starve without him type shit!!!!!!!!!! He'll ignore me complaining about hunger pains all the time but when he wants to he'll ignore me and then come back after some period of punishment (shunning) like "did you want food? get ready so you can get a small snack" "there's snacks at my house" and what am I going to say??? No???? Well actually that is exactly correct. I do say no because I'm that fucking seriously not interested and I choose to starve over taking that.

He gets angry but he knows his demands aren't possible. NOT A CHANCE . I'll say it to his face. I have to walk on eggshells but I still hate to be taken advantage of because I'm not standing my ground.

He still tries to tower over me and shit when I'm turned around and I elbow/kick behind me to remind him I fucking feel his body heat because that's how close he is without actually touching me. He likes to do that in stores. I was in so much pain from cramps that I accepted his offer to go to the store in the middle of the night. There was a store open down the street from my house but he chose to drive to the one farthest away and says oops when I ask where he's going. He misses every exit he possibly can before I catch on when taking me back to where I live on the way back from trips like these. He always does that. It's so manipulative and shitty. Just take me fucking home.

One time he saw I had a stun gun in my bag while going through it without my permission and he said I didn't need to carry that around him and I said I sure as hell do. Which fucking sucks. Any normal person would just exit and block but if I did that, who would I be able to turn to? He really has caused me trouble but I would be in greater trouble without him and that's the truth. The only answer is to lean on myself or get the support of the state, which I was receiving and then my mom sabotaged (!) So it got cancelled which is why I'm depending on the help that he happens to offer! Do you see the issues there? I don't have any family. My friends can't help me besides sending me virtual hugs and everybody is so tired. They're doing their best not to be depressed and here I come! A doomsday cloud big enough to cover the sun. I wouldn't want to talk to me either. I've been blocked for asking for help from friends just because people don't want to be involved and don't want the stress. I remember "I want that shit out of my hair".

Another thing: I call my stuffed animal my son because like... Idk. He's my son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that creepy asshole fucker kept calling him HIS SON and OUR SON and I got so pissed and kept correcting him. The same way I would correct him when he'd call me his girlfriend to his friends.

Can someone who isn't him please care more than he does?

[sharksa-shivers]

We cool with stuff taking place on phones/through texts too? Cuz i have a surplus of that as well...

I have a ton of shit where it's formatted as text convos and shit between the derpos becauseeeeeeeeeee yes lol. (Legit tho, it is fun and it's a good way to also flesh out characters, like what kinda shiz would they talk about through text convos? I recommend doing that if you're looking for more ways to write stuff lol) ------- Here's a Sharksty one Kristy: Hey, did you eat any breakfast? :3 💗

Sharky: ……..

Kristy: Well?

Sharky: Does a star cola count as breakfast? I mean it's like 140 calories a can, that's sustainable right?

Kristy: Nope and nope! Alrighty, gotchas, that's all i needed to know.

Sharky: …..? Huh?

Kristy: Lol, i'm gonna make some breakfast for us both! :3 I wanna try and make some sausage egg biscuits sandwich things! (Idk what they're called lmao…But they seem simple and easy and quick and tasty!!! So…😋)

Sharky: …..Can i maybe know the calorie contents or?

Kristy: …You were literally just asking me if a soda counted as breakfast so i have a feeling if i tell you the answer to that (even if i did math it out while making it)That you'd just use that answer as an excuse to skip out on food whenever you need it…Mmmm, so no lmao.

Sharky: …Please?

Kristy: Nope! 💗They're little breakfast sandwiches with egg and cheese and sausage on them, i promise you you'll be ok ya derp.

Kristy:(sends pictures of the sandwiches)Also look how tasty they look!!! You really wanna miss out on this??? And me making it too????

Sharky: …Ok, ok, you're right, those do look really good heh…That cheese is making me hungry just looking at it…

Sharky: Does Amber have any bacon prepped downstairs?

Kristy: No, why? You want some?

Sharky: Hehhhhh, yeah, maybe…

Sharky: Here, guess i'll come downstairs, i can help ya. Maybe i can help make something and contribute a little bit ey? Might have some pancakr mix down there…

Kristy: MAKING BREAKFAST AS A COUPLE, HELL YEAH!!!!! 💗💗💗 ----------- Here's one with Max and Kristy both getting on Sharky's ass about his self neglect issues. Also cuz text, Max's text is purposefully shitty (cuz i imagine Max gives 0 shits about spellcheck during casual convo and whatnot lol...His friends know what he's going off about soooooooo) --- Kristy: Ey, I'm hungry, you guys want pizza? I wanna get pizza

Max: Fuk yesssssssssssssssssss, god, plz, im starving, fuckin garbo day, plz, i wanttttttttttt

Sharky: ………Eh…

Kristy: What kind you guys want? :3 Thinkin bout a half hamburger and half peperoni with extra cheese for me…

Max: ?

(few seconds pass)

Max: Sharky you fuck, what's "Eh" mean?

Sharky: It means eh, means i'm good. You guys enjoy though…

Kristy: Yknow, i don't think i've seen you eat today… :/

Max: He hasn't

Max: Dumbass, what pizza you want?

Sharky: None, i'm fine 👌

Kristy: Dude, cmon…

Max: finna beat yo ass, what pizza do you want?

Max: This is not me asking, this is a threat, this is a promise.

Max: I will physically come over there, back to the fucking hotel room, i will grab a pillow and i will beat your fucking ass, fuckin, tired of you doing this stupid shit to yourself every few days.

Sharky: Damn, nice…Sounds good to me.

Kristy: Dude, seriously, please… :c I don't want you being hungry all night, you have to be at this point with all the crap we've been doing today…

Sharky: …………I mean……….Eh, who cares? Why does it matter? Like…It doesn't…Just lemme chill, i'm good…

Max: Im so tired of this bullshit…

Max: WHAT

Max: PIZZA

Max: DO

Max: YOU

Max: WANT?

Sharky: I fucking told you, i don't, what's so fucking hard to get here? Why aren't you listening?

Kristy: …………Wait, do you mean you want something else to eat? I can google other places if your tired of pizza, i don't want you feeling forced to eat something you don't want to… :c

Sharky: No, enjoy your pizza, idc, i just don't want any.

Sharky: I don't want any other food either, i'm good. I just wanna chill and sleep in a bit… Max: I swear to fuck

Max: Just order him some hamburger or cheese or something, fuckin, i'm tired, im not let him keep doin this crap…

Sharky: Why tf you being so aggressive?

Max: CUZ I FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU AND I DON'T LIKE SEEING YOU DO THIS SHIT, YOU ARE GOING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED DOING THIS, DEMONS ARE NOT GOING TO CARE IF YOU ARE TIRED, THEY WILL SLAUGHTER YOU AND I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO SEE THAT HAPPEN TO MY FUCKING BROTHER YOU FUCK

Kristy: What kind do you want Max? :3 I'm writing all this down rq…

Sharky: I said i don't fucking want one!!!!

Max: Cry about it bitch, you're getting free food and you're gonna fucking enjoy it

Max: Uhhhhhhh, idk actually, depends, where you getting it from?

Kristy: (gives link) found a local place, looks really good…I'm gonna get cheese garlic bread too :3

Max: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…Ehhhh, i dunno, fuck it, surprise me lol

Sharky has left the group

Max has added Sharky to the group

Max: Not so fast bitch

Sharky: I DON'T FUCKING WANT ANY, GOD, CAN YOU JUST LISTEN??? FOR ONCE???

Max: No 💜

Sharky: I fucking…God, i hate this stupid ass shit, fucking, i don't want it, don't waste your cash, don't waste your time, i don't want to eat

Kristy: You need to tho dude, seriously…

Max: Fuck you, you're gonna enjoy this goddamn pizza you shithead 💜

Sharky: ……………I'm so tired of this…

Max: Imagine how tired we are having to fucking worry about you doing this dumb shit every 3 or 4 days…

Kristy: Dude, seriously, this pizza looks really delicious, you should try some! It's a little family owned shop, means it's gotta be good…

Sharky: No

Kristy: (sends link again) Plz at least look at the pics, it all looks so hot and cheesy and fresh ~(^*^)~ I bet you'd love it if you tried it!!!

Sharky: ……………………………………Please stop…Fuck, please, you both are making me feel bad…

Max: Do not stop Kris, keep going, we're breaking him >:) Kristy: Uhmmmm, ik you like cheese bread Sharky, i bet you'd REALLY like garlic cheese bread :3

Sharky: Please stop, please…

Max: Whats wrong? Starting to want it?

Kristy: Oooooo! They have dipping sauces too! I'm gonna get extra marinara! :3

Sharky: god

Max: Heyyyyy, ooooo, cheesesticks, think we can get those Kris?

Kristy: Hell yes!!! Ahhhh, that really sounds good

Sharky: ………………..

Max: Gonna get some ranch dipping sauce cuz fuck it lol

Max: Can we get drinks too? Ain't shit up there in the hotel room…

Kristy: Yee! What do you want to drink? :3

Max: Defs a liter soda….or………..3 lol

Kristy: ………For just you or?

Max: lmao yes ofc

Sharky: ………………………………….

Kristy: Do you want something to drink Sharky? :3

Max: Well Sharky we're waiting…

Sharky: …..canihavegarliccheesebreadtoo?

Max: WE FUCKIGN GOT HIM!!!!!

Kristy: Wait, you serious?! :0

Sharky: ……….Yeah…ig…

Kristy: Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Dude, i'm so happy!!!!!

Max: You're gonna have tasty food and your gonna like it

Sharky: ………….imgonnafeelsoshittyafterthis, ialreadyfeelsofatrightnowandihateit……

Kristy: Dude, you don't have to feel bad like that… :/

Max: Who fuckin cares if your fat? I want you to fucking survive, literally doesn't matter

Max: is a diff body type and literally everything in media that is designed to make you feel bad about being fat is cuz they wanna make cash off your suffering so fuck em, eat, be fat, be happy, stay alive, fuck the media

Sharky: Neither of you get it, ugh…

Kristy: Sharky, what else do you want? :3

Sharky: ………………I dunno, head hurts…

Kristy: Do you need me to get you meds? :c

Sharky: ……………No, just…Ig i do need to eat…Guess i am starving…

Sharky: Ig…Yeah, hamburger pizza sounds good, with cheese bread, maybe ig a bottled drink or 2 for me but no liter crap… -------- Solo Max and Sharky one cuz yeah, sure lol --- Max: So do you gott he stuff?

Sharky: uhhhh, yeah, i do…

Max: mighf i seeeeeeee?uwu?

Sharky: ehhhhh

Sharky: That's require me like…Taking a picture of myself and like…I'd rather spare you that, ehhhh…

Max: bruh lmao

Max: doooooooo it cmon lol

Sharky: I don't want to, i hate how i look right now ok?

Max: wut is it you hate?

Sharky: You know what…

Max: you mean your body and stomach that are perfectyl fine? Is that it?

Sharky: Can we just…Leave it or???

Max: bruh, lol, you look fineeeee!!!!!

Max: You are valid

Max: Dare i say beautiful even?

Max: just as yourself, i promise ya…

Sharky: ……..

Max: Cmon, seriously, i promise you look fine…

Sharky: …….I…I dunno, i just…

Sharky: Goddamnit, fine…

Sharky:(posts a pic of him with the supplies and shit, him obviously hesitant in photo to actually take the photo)….Here, ffs…

Max: damn, dude, you look really nice, you seriously insecure when you look like that???

Sharky: Considering my fucking ugly body and gut and face, yes. Mmhmmm, you nailed it.

Max: lol, bruh, you look fuckin fine, i promise

Max: king, hey king, you dropped this👑

Max: Valid qs fuck and always will be and i will fight you every fuckin time

Sharky: Max, seriously, how can you think i look fine like this????

Max: Because i know why you think the things you do and those reasons are bs

Max: You legit hurt yourselc over how you look, i hate seeing that

Max: I'd much rather see you embrace yourself as ya are cuz you look perfectly fune and great and i wouldn't fuckin lie to you lmaooooo ------------------------------- Yeah, Max is one of those friends who's agressive with how much they care about you...Like...Max just is like that lololol Like these are the 2 energy's lol Kristy:

And then Max lololol, like this is it right here Just like...I do not want Max to come off as mean cuz he's being like "you need to eat dumbass, ima hit you with this pillow!!!" Cuz...That's just like Max being Max lol (If you get what i mean, like that's how Sharky and Max's friendship/brotherhood kinda is with each other) Also yeah, Sharky and Max are best friends but they also see each other as brothers lol, like adoptive brothers.

[rayne-the-neutrois-nerd]

7, 19, 26, 53 for the ask game? 💚

7- What did you last eat?

I had a croissant for breakfast! Ik i haven't eaten since but I dont really eat while working unless I'm like, starving. Am going to get dinner here in a minute tho.

19- Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

I mean I guess? It depends? Do I have to like, tread back in time in my own body and like, live it out with my current mind but in my childs body? Or can I go back to like, the 1980s even tho I wasn't alive then? ....because I just wanna go to concerts of bands you can't see these days. But if it's the first option where I just relieve my own life, hell no.

26- What are you craving right now?

Hhhmmm.. not sure? In terms of food, I'm in the "if its food and quick to make then I'll eat it" mood. For other cravings? I dunno, physical contact would be nice, bitch is touch starved and needs a hug

53- What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

I... uh... well... I probably shouldn't say what I did right before i went to bed in public, so I'm going with the second last thing, which was turn the dryer on bc I gotta wash and fold so many fuckin clothes so I can pack them to move.

[seradae]

You can read the previous chapters here or on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43928488?view_full_work=true

The Spire

Chapter 10: Hunger

Lou and Erica cuddled, floating near the dome window of the living room, just enjoying each others' company. Suddenly, her stomach grumbled hard enough that Lou could feel it in theirs. "I honestly couldn't tell if that was mine or yours at first," they laughed.

"I'm fuckin' starving, but I really don't wanna get dressed," she said, a light blush coming across her face.

"I don't want you to get dressed either. Room service 24/7 here? It's gotta be after midnight by now."

"Yup! You can also get delivery from anywhere on the Spire any time. Some restaurants will be closed by now, but up until 2 we can pick most anything," she explained, looking around for her phone. "Anything you're feeling?"

She let go of Lou and pushed off the wall to go under them, snatching her phone off a charging plate. "Hm, what's good in zero-g? Aside from you, I haven't eaten without gravity yet," they said, grinning.

Her blush intensified, "keep up that kind of talk and we're never gonna get food." She swatted playfully at them as she made her way back into their arms. "Anything self-contained is good, honestly. It all takes some practice, but you'll get the hang of it."

"Sushi? I was thinking a burger, but if it started to come apart, it'd be one hell of a mess," they joked, snuggling her tight.

"Oh god yes, sushi! I would kill for a spicy tuna roll right now!" She prodded her phone and pulled up a menu, adding a few items and handing it to them.

They added their choices and handed the phone back to her. "How accurate are those delivery times? 20 minutes seems way too fast."

"That's an overestimation, if I had to guess. Remember: no traffic. It'll take them 5 minutes to get here, if I'm remembering this place correctly, and at this hour they can't be super busy," she explained as she placed the order and then gently tossed her phone back toward the charging plate.

"Okay, I gotta ask. Why do you always put your phone there? That thing lasts forever."

"How much time have you spent looking around for your phone - or anything else - just to find it floating in a random place nowhere near where you thought you left it? Not that I need my phone much when I'm with you anyway," she smiled.

"Duh, that makes sense. Guess I've got a lot to learn about living In Spaaaaace," they said theatrically.

"Good thing you've got me to teach you! I was gonna joke that I'm basically an expert, but I guess at this point it's true," she said, thinking of how much this place had grown and changed since she first arrived. How much she'd changed.

"You literally live here, and you helped build the place!" Lou shook their head, smiling. "Okay, putting your silly modesty aside, how do I move here?"

She stroked their hair gently, "well, first things first: do you want to live with me? We both have our own lives, and we haven't lived together in, what, a decade? I won't be hurt if you want your own place, but you know I'd be happy to have you."

"I'd love to, but are you positive you want me to? I know you've been dating Jess for a bit, and I don't want to do anything to come between you two."

"Not a problem on my end, baby," she said, kissing them softly. "I would love to live with you again. I'll just kick you out if she and I need the place to ourselves for a bit," she said with a grin.

"Not like it'd be the first time, you hussy," they joked. "Okay, so holy shit. I'm gonna be living with my favorite person in the world again!"

"Um no, I'm your favorite person in the universe; remember where we are," she teased, pointing out the window.

"That's gonna take some time to get out of my vocabulary," they said, rolling their eyes. "Since I'm gonna be here indefinitely, do I need to get a special visa or anything?"

"You can stay up to six months without a visa, but only permanent residents can make use of every facility here. Well, without paying out the ass at least," she chuckled. "It's honestly a pretty simple process, and for you it'll be a breeze. You're a US citizen so their record keeping leaves a bit to be desired, but you can do it all online."

They thought for a moment and then said, "and if I wanted to be an owner? You know I like to get my hands dirty."

"You could buy a share, but they've gotten expensive as hell; a good investment, but only an investment," she said, pondering. "What if you bought a new community studio space, like the one I showed you earlier? You could use it yourself when you want, teach from it if you feel like it, and let others use it when you're not."

"That sounds perfect to me, honestly. Can you introduce me to the right people? I don't know how real estate works up here."

Erica laughed and said, "I don't either. But I know the lady who owns the one we went to; I can introduce you and you can pick her brain."

"Thanks baby," they said, kissing her forehead. Just then, a knock came from their door. "Oh hell yes. This sushi stands no chance."

[biterbones]

blood and decay

a vampire searches for her prey at a local bar, only for the night to not go as planned

cw: 18+, mild gore, blood, lesbians, mentions of sex

she stepped into the club, occasionally feeling the hips of a beautiful woman brush up against her. the whole building was alive, it exhaled and she could feel the heartbeat in her toes. out of the entire crowd of flesh, one specific girl caught her interest. a lonely girl, standing at the bar all by herself.

the first thing she noticed was how tall, she was. her curly, messy black hair that covered half of her face nearly reached the top of the ceiling. scraping the lesbian flag painted on the roof. another obvious thing was how raggedy she was, she looked like an anemic corpse and for some reason, vanessa liked that. it made her chest hot thinking of all the ways she could suck up everything that rotting hottie has to offer.

"heeey there cutie, i'm vanessa. who are your?" she casually questioned while running a contrasting dark brown finger over the mystery woman's pale skin.

"oh shit, are you talking to me? i'm zaniyah." She awkwardly tucked some hair behind her ear, revealing differently covered eyes. brown and blue swirled together like koi fish in the pond of vanessa's mind. "i've never seen you around here before, are you new in town?"

"yeah i am, i move a ton. i might stay here for a while though, this place is nice. plus, the people here are beautiful..." vanessa reached a hand up to stroke her face softly, but found zaniyah too tall. "shit, i can't reach. you're really fuckin' tall. how about you lean down so i can properly flirt, m'kay babe?" an odd dull blush spread over zaniyah's cracked skin as she was hit on.

"yeah, i get that alot. it's probably because i'm 6'8" she chuckled awkwardly, flaunting her height the same way insecure men do.

"you being for real?! why are you here and not in the nba?!"

"maybe i'm here so i can be with you?" zaniyah shrugged her shoulders cautiously. now it was vanessa's turn to blush, the maroon spreading all the way to the bleach blonde coils that framed her perfect face. oh this girl was just perfect, her mind filling with thoughts of what she'd taste like.

"how about i buy you a drink?"

"sorry, i don't drink."

"really? are you one of those puritans that don't drink?" vanessa's soft, adorable laughter didn't hide the mocking in her tone well. luckily the peer pressure went right over her new date's head.

"no, it's cause of health stuff. my liver is terrible, that's why you never get hand me downs from alcoholics!" vanessa chuckled, trying her best not to spit out her own drink. "buuut if you're gonna be a sweetheart, i guess i'll ask the bartender for a steak kabob, extra rare."

"skirting past your odd food tastes-" zaniyah rolled her special eyes playfully. "- i'm glad i found someone with the same dark humor as me, that 'hand me down liver' joke was hilarious!"

"i'm glad you like it, sometimes i freak people out."

"don't worry baby, i like that you seem a little freaky~"

"oh my gosh!" zaniyah lightly pushed her away with one hand while grabbing her appetizer with the other hand. it kind of put vanessa off how she devoured the bloody meat like a starving dog, but she hadn't brought anyone home in weeks and she was getting desperate. this was no time to be picky.

anxiety slithered onto her skin and creeped into her veins, paralyzing her with dread. she needed to get this girl home before one of the tens of other women around them got to her prey first. she needed to pounce.

"hey, zaniyah?" the tall girl's lips formed into a curious smile as vanessa ran a soft hand over her waist. "what do you say we go back to my apartment, and i'll give you something else to eat? it's super close by."

"huh?" the confused and mildly horrified look on her face was replaced with a shy understanding once she finally got it. "oh yeah... maybe we could just walk there though? my car is almost out of gas and i wanna save it for the ride home."

"sure!" that was fine with vanessa, it just meant less evidence to deal with at the end of the night.

the fear slowly slipped away as vanessa brought zaniyah up to her apartment, falling into the comfortable routine of kissing and leading her to the nice couch wrapped in plastic. ignoring the odd feeling of her teeth, she began to strip for her guest. what she never expected though, was for zaniyah to pounce first.

"what the fuck?!" the second she slipped the red dress of her shoulders, zaniyah ripped out a set of fake teeth and charged at her. biting into her shoulder and ripping into it, licking her lips at the tart, exotic taste. suddenly the juicy morsel was gone, the room was spinning, and there was a throbbing pain in her nose. she found herself across the room with blood pouring out of her nose.

"did you punch me?! what the hell!" zaniyah wiped the blood off her face and stood, taking a defensive stance. angry hisses and globs of spit flew out of vanessa's mouth. "oh my god, you're a vampire aren't you?! that's why you busted my favorite nose!"

"That was reasonable, you were trying to eat me!"

"I bet you were gonna try to eat me too!"

"oh here you go with the fucking stereotypes, you dumb zombies are all the same!"

"oh i'm dumb?! you brought a stranger in your home, i should kick your ass for ruining my night and my nose!"

"oh are you now?" the two women leaned in close, their noses only a little bit apart. eyes locked onto eachother's.

the room was a disaster. pillows stuck to the walls, sheets soaked with mystery liquids, and two sets of limbs tangled together. vanessa let herself relax into the warm hold of zaniyah as the zombie ran fingers over her pudgy stomach, letting her icy fingers rest on the flesh.

"holy shit... that was amazing..." zaniyah mumbled.

"i know right? humans just can't keep up with us monsters." she nibbled at her, lapping up the small pearls of blood that came out of the wound. "i guess it took someone dead to give me the best sex of my life. i was right, you are a little freak."

"how did we not even know the other was a monster anyway?"

"i know it's not my fault, i've never seen you at the conventions."

"wait, there were conventions?!" the zombie shot out of bed.

"you didn't know?! nobody invited you?! the whole underworld is there."

"this is bullshit." zaniyah went to walk away but was stopped by the blonde.

"i have a proposition and not the kind we did 10 minutes ago." she raised an eyebrow curiously. "i think if we work together, we could have enough food to feed a whole villiage. i get the blood, and you get the flesh." a soft smile spread on those creepy features that drew vanessa closer in the first place.

"i'd be happy to vanessa, i think... i think i found the love of my afterlife."

[dniosamu]

Since you've praised me, I have now adopted you as my dad. There are no refusals or refunds, if you try to say no I'll sic you in a room with a Drunk Dazai :) — Eve

(I'm legit getting ordered around the house right now even tho I just graduated just a few hours ago, and I'm getting scolded for not doing something even tho I was told to do it when I legit just came back from graduation and was aching all over due to spending 4 hours in the hot grad room with just a folding fan to give me air. I'm in desperate need of a decent family figure. I'll accept anyone at this point as long I'm getting some fuckin compassion.)

Ps. I starved and got dehydrated in that graduation because food wasn't allowed and that we would be given free water (It was a pitifully small bottled water that I drank dry within the first hour due to heat.) There also weren't any electric fans for us because all of it was pointed to the instructors and the honorary guests. — Eve

... Well I guess another kid wouldn't hurt??

(Gosh that sounds awful I'll gladly be your new dad. I hope you're alright now, graduations are supposed to be a happy memory instead of a painful one)

[bitterlavenderwritings]

no regrets

a/n: guess who watched marriage blue. ME. HAHA. that shit was so good i had to write something inspired by it.

wc: 943

pairing/s: yan!atsumu miya x f!reader

tags: cheating, non-con, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (receiving), lingerie, pussy spanking, big dick atsumu, cockwarming at the end

your wedding dress hugged your waist, showing off all your curves just right. the veil had a nice sparkle to it, it billowed at the back of your head, complimenting your hair and face wonderfully. there were no sleeves, just long silk gloves that nearly reached your armpits and a silk, jeweled collar that completed your exposed cleavage.

atsumu knew it, you were one hell of a bride. you were everything he wanted in a woman, bright, stunning, funny, and you were hot as fuck. he wanted you the moment he laid eyes on you.

too bad someone already beat him to it.

while he wasn't known to be a patient man, he knew he could do it for you. after all, who's to say your relationship with your highschool sweetheart would last until marriage? not him, or anybody else for that matter. that was a mere fantasy not everyone had the luxury to have.

but just his luck, you stayed with your plain, boring man of a lover for the next three years until he proposed.

and you accepted.

he wonders if you only agreed to be his because he was the only one you had. it was no mystery you were more reserved than your friends and you only had him as a sex partner. of course you wanted to marry him, you just weren't aware of your other choices, better options. and he'll be damned if you made the wrong choice and leave you with regrets later on.

he was more than willing to help you.

nipping on a patch of skin just beneath your ear, his hands glided down to the wet patch on your panties. he kissed down, and down until his tongue flicked your nipple while he continued stroking your slick cunt.

"tsumu," you whined as he inserted a finger. "stop please, i won't tell anyone if you stop now so please-" your pleas were cut off with a cry that he inserted two more fingers. you were impossibly tight, he had to stretch you out just a bit so he can fit later on. he doesn't mind, hearing your sweet voice crying his name was worth it.

he wanted to pleasure you, give you the best fuck you've ever had until you forget your sorry excuse of a lover. surely you were missing out, with the way you were so responsive to his touch. he preened at the thought of ingraining himself in your head, making you think of him whenever you felt your core leak and crave for him.

"don't worry baby, your tsumu's gonna take good care of you. i'll make you feel so good, okay?"

and oh you looked so cute, whimpering underneath him. the white lingerie fit you perfectly, frills and straps that hugged your skin with white thigh highs that contrasted your skin gorgeously. it was a good thing he didn't take off the collar, gloves and of course, the veil. they completed your bride look as if he was the one you were marrying.

a man can dream, right?

spreading your legs wide open, he set aside your drenched underwear and licked a long stripe from your clenching hole to your clit.

"oh fuck please-" he fucking your cunt with his tongue, circling your bundle of nerves that's making you tear up and beg for more.

"fuuuuck, you taste so sweet baby. just like how i imagined."

he's so willing, so patient in letting you cum first because he loves you. he'll fuck right after you cum all over mouth first before he fucks you like he wants to.

"c'mon baby, give it t'me." with a sharp slap to your cunt, your gushing all over his fingers as he licks all over your folds like a starved man.

he braces himself against your entrance, rubbing his throbbing cock all over your sweet and wet cunt so you can feel just how much he wants you.

"tsumu wait-" your protests are cut short with a slow thrust if his hips against yours, dragging his thick cock on your walls. you didn't expect him to be that wide, so the burn was unbelievable. sensing your discomfort, he makes out with you to muffle your cries and reaches down to rub slow circles on your clit.

"sssshh, it'll feel better soon." and it does, with the delicious friction on your clit and his cock reaching that spot inside of you, soon your clutching on to his shoulders for dear life as his pace starts getting faster.

"ah.... that's it. gonna cum on my cock, yeah? oh fuck, i love ya so much ya don't fuckin' know how long i've waited for this."

he could feel your walls clench at his words, did you finally reciprocate his feelings? did you finally understand how deeply he felt for you?

your hips grinded to him willingly, unable to deny the pleasure he was giving you. he was treating you so well, so good, better than your fiancee has ever fucked you.

the stuttering of his hips told you he was close, and you were too.

"tsu-tsumu i-"

"ya close baby? i am too, cum on my cock princess. let me feel that pussy cum." at his words, you gripped his shoulders tighter, feeling your walls spasm as you finally came. he grunted, kissing you even harder as he too filled you up with his hot cum.

he didn't move to get off, merely relaxing in your hold as you felt your eyes flutter in exhaustion.

you wonder if you made a mistake.

but by the time you wake up, he'll make sure you'll have no regrets.

[katsukikitten]

Warning : 18 plus AU, adult themes, collage au

Part one Part two

"Mina, I really don't see why I have to wear this Bikini, I prefer a cutout  one piece." You say sipping your iced coffee as Mina packs her beach bag with sponges, rags, and tons of bottled water. You wait impatiently by the door of your shared, temporary dorm. 

"Becauuuusssse, I already told you! That Instagram post I made of all of us blew up, even with my large following. Remember how many people we brought in last time?"

"Yes, we made 45% more profit…" You bite at the inside of your lip as you think, adjusting your white t-shirt so it sat nicely above the black bikini bottoms. You weren't one to argue with numbers.

"Well now with the combined efforts with the shirtless boys we can actually use that allowance you got us for unlimited kegs." 

"No, Mina new windows and installation. They said the house was hot, which means winter will be brutal." You roll your eyes, "Unless you want to freeze this winter, personally I have no problem with freezing." 

She giggles at your joke, pulling you along as if you were the reason for being late instead of her. Mina spies Uraraka and Jiro waving them towards the two of you before she whispers softly to you.  

"Just, try to have fun today no matter what." 

You wondered if that was an omen, a jinx or if she already knew what lied ahead. Either way you would not being having too much fun. 

The four of you arrive just before the first customer's begin to line up and already you want to organize. Counting the heads until you see a certain ash blonde causing your normally cold blood to run hot. Too hot. 

"Mina?" Your voice dips low, as ice dances in the air around you, "What is he doing here?" 

"Who?" She plays dumb as the other two women greet the group of men. Harsh garnet cut to you as you steel your glare. 

"Oi, Icy Brat. What are you fucking doing here?" His voice grates your nerves and for a moment you see red. Thinking of freezing him and going about your day. Instead you choose to give him the cold shoulder, averting your gaze. 

"We're doing pairs for washing today. I'm glad you could make it" Kirishima beams, coming in for a hug, you take a step back offering him a polite smile. His smile doesn't lose an ounce of shine, it makes you respect him a bit more. 

"I'll handle the cash and direct cars then." You say pointing to the box, ready to grab the fanny pack and head to the street. Denki grabs onto you gently, releasing you as if you were hot to the touch.  

"No it has to be a boy girl ratio. I promise the outcome will be worth it, please!" This won't be the first or last time both Denki and Mina beg for your help. You look around at what must be their subconscious pairings. Jiro calls Denki over as the first car pulls up, Kirishima seems to wait patiently, his eyes lingering on bubble gum pink skin, while Sero is already guiding cars with Uraraka in tow. 

That leaves you and Bakugou who has his arms crossed, sneering at the customers. 

Your hope dwindles that today would be a good day.

Sero points to a blue car indicating that this was going to be yours to share with the hot head. Sighing you waltz over in your black wedge heels and begin your work. Bakugou looms over the wet car, sponge in hand. The two of you work in silence until the third car, a red coupe with a couple inside about to receive the show of their bi lives. 

They comment on the tension they feel between the two of you right away, they notice the glares and lack of communication. Even making small jokes about how funny it would be to see one of those cliche water fights between the two of you. 

"Icebrat, you're doing it fuckin wrong." Bakuogu barks, you ignore him, continuing to wash the car. Anger burns in his chest, never understanding why you acted so high and mighty. 

"Gonna give me the cold shoulder are ya?" He growls, eyeing the dirty water before a thought crosses his mind, "Love to see you ignore this."

His voice is sadistic before he throws the dirty water across the car onto your frame, suds and water cling to your white t, showcasing the black bikini top underneath. Your temper spikes enough that your shirt collects frost at the seams before you slowly remove it. Glaring at the hot head when you're done.  

"Fuck." The couple say aloud grabbing onto each other as they watch the scene unfold. Your powerful frame guiding you with a deadly clack of your heels. Your hands find the bucket of water Mina and Kirishima were using, your fingers tap the bucket and the water forms a film of ice at the top. Meanwhile Bakugou goes to "correct" whatever mistake you were making. The couple's eyes watch the unsuspecting Bakugou reach up their hood to clean a particular spot before water is dumped over his spiky blonde hair. 

You tap the back of his shirt making it stiff with frost, when he moves to face you it shatters away from his body. Revealing the sculpted plans of his abs and the scars of untold stories. 

If it weren't for all of that ice water Bakugou would have blown you sky high, he comes close to you. Huffing as his eyes become wild and wide. All you offer him is a deadly polite smile as you stare him in the face, unbothered and unphased by his towering presence. 

"What? I was only getting the spot you missed." When he says nothing you allow yourself to relish the silence, placing your hand on his shoulder capping it in obvious ice. 

"Are you giving me the cold shoulder now?" The question is nonchalant before you signal to Sero for another car as you walk to get more supplies. Sero whistles at a bristling Bakugou before leaning into the driver's side window to give directions. Before he can ask for a tip the driver is offering a twenty dollar bill while his eyes are flickering between yourself and Bakugou. 

"Mark us down as a regular." He sighs as his girlfriend does too.  Sero happily tucks the money into the fanny pack.

"Will do." 

Somehow the two of you manage quips and water pranks back and forth without killing each other. Making it through the long day but earning a high amount of tips. Mina clings to you as you count cash, sweat on her brow as the sun settles into an unbearable afternoon heat. 

"Uuugghhh how much longer mom?" She asks, sighing at your icy touch. You roll your eyes as you count the last stack. 

"Not too much hush." You place the money into the lock box, wondering how the hell the eight of you made so much money in just seven hours. 

"But I'm starving! Plus we still have to pick our rooms!" 

"You're that excited to move all of our items into what was a male dominated space?" You ask coolly as Jiro and Uraraka lean against the collapsible table. 

"I'm stoked." Jiro comments, her earjacks twirling themself as her eyes wander.

"It will be nice to be settled before the fall term." Uraraka sighs looking down at her phone, idly scrolling through her socials. The two women nod as the guys approach. You purposely ignore the hot head and allow your eyes to meet Denki's, although it takes him a few long seconds to meet your gaze. He was a little preoccupied with a black and white checkered bikini with matching Van's. 

"Earth to space cadet." Sero nudges his ribs subtly pointing to you as you gaze at him as a teacher would a student caught daydreaming. He clears his throat. 

"Well it seems your theory has paid off. We've made quite a bit of cash today." You lock the box before standing, reluctantly adding, "The pairing of female and male will be standard from here on out. Although we should only need a few more fundraising events depending on what the house needs. Which I trust won't be too much."

Three of the four boys shared a concerned look while the fourth knows how bitter your words were going to taste.

"We'll meet you at the house." 

❄💥❄💥❄💥❄💥❄💥❄💥❄💥❄💥

The four of you cannot deny the excitement you feel as yall walk up to the historical home. The upper balcony seems to wrap around the back but only partially in the front while the porch below stretches across the front of the home. The siding had been repainted and the banisters above and below are wrapped in what will be sparkling lights at night. A stately set of double doors catch your eye before they yawn open by the hands of Denki Kaminari who is trying not to visibly sweat. 

"Home sweet home!" Denki steps aside to let the four of you in with your belongings. Your eyes dissect the place as you press your tongue into your bottom lip, trying your best to keep your cool. This place needed a lot of what you deemed necessities. You notice the familiar dining room table as the foldable card table they had at the carwash surrounded by the cheap camping chairs you thought you had replaced. 

The only decent looking room was the living room and even then it was only thanks to you. The leather arm chairs were placed haphazardly around the new sectional you had delivered as it circled around the TV you demanded from the dean.

Denki watches your manicured nails rap against your skin as you think.  

"The window installation and insulation went smoothly?" 

"Yes." Sero answers as your eyes wander around the room landing on your mattress and platform bed frame resting against the wall in the nook by the study turned bedroom. 

"We didn't know where to put it since the bedrooms aren't sorted out for you lovely ladies just yet." Kirishima smiles but your mind isn't on why it is there. No, your mind is wondering why there is only one.

"Was I the only one to order my mattress?" You look towards your sorority who holds a guilty look before you glance at the three men who mirror the women. 

"Well I guess that is for the better. We can spend extra on them now anyway." 

"Are you sure? I thought the budget was tight." Denki asks, earning a rare boasting smile from you. You make your way into the kitchen and six ducklings follow. Your nail taps the stainless steel of a high end commercial fridge. 

"It was tight before but not after I got this." Smile remaining on your lips as you speak, "It was 3,000 off due to some cosmetic dents but I got it as a donation. An alumni donation." 

"Wow for free?!" Denki and Sero ask in unison, amazed by your skill. 

"For free boys." 

"Wow, Bakugou might love that fridge even more now. Every time he cooks he mentions how great it is." Kirishama laughs but a certain name causes you to freeze to the tiled floor. 

"Bakugou…" You turn to Mina with a deadly glare as ice crystals form in your hair, "As in Bakugou lives here?!" 

The silence echoes throughout the kitchen and all that can be heard is the hum of the fancy fridge. Just as you're about to snap, Denki intervenes. 

"Uh. Did you want to talk bedrooms?" 

"YES!" The girls yell pulling the boys back into the safety of the living room as you collect yourself for a moment. 

God you hated the effect his name had on you but even more so how stupid you felt. As if this was some half baked plan to leave out the important detail that the man you loathed most would be under the same roof. Finally after a few deep breaths the ice in your hair melts and you step into the living room with a level head. Reminding yourself that this house was going to be rent free. You would have a full sized kitchen and your own bedroom, this was a much better option than the dorms even if it meant Bakugou came with it. 

"There is one bedroom upstairs not claimed, the rest of us guys are up there too. Then that door next to the nook is the study, it's not huge but it has a lot of shelves and big enough to fit a queen. Um there are two bedrooms in the basement but it's not totally dark down there. Plus the second living room with the pong table is down there. What else?" Denki taps his finger to his lips, "Oh half bath is here. Full bathroom is upstairs and there is technically another full bath in the basement, it's just more 'open concept'." 

"Open concept?" Jiro asks, earjacks perking with curiosity. 

"He means no walls. Just a toilet and a shower head chilling next to the laundry sink and washer, dryer." Sero explains, again you tongue the inside of your bottom lip. 

"Girl huddle!" Mina shouts, pulling the three of you into a small circle, "I personally really would like one of the bedrooms in the basement. I'm loud and I wouldn't mind the late hours that come with the pong table. I am the QUEEN after all." 

"I want a bedroom in the basement too. You know my music gets super loud!" Jiro pipes in. Uraraka wants to say something but politely waits for you, instead you gesture for her to speak first. 

"I...I would be much more comfortable in the study. I don't mind it being small." Her brown eyes bore holes into the floorboards as you read between the lines. 

"I would be much more comfortable on a different level than all four men." Is what she means, you sigh internally, swearing this will be the last compromise you make for these women. 

"Then I'll take the room upstairs." You state before telling the boys the arrangements. You look at your watch to check the time. 

"If we leave now in the college van and trailer I borrowed we could get everyone else's mattresses tonight." You look around the room before asking, "So where is Bakugou anyway?" 

The three boys glance at one another, Kirishima speaks up. 

"He had a….previous obligation." He laughs, rubbing the back of his head. You narrow your eyes. 

"Let me call him. This is more important than whatever he is doing. It clearly isn't school related." You hold out your hand for the red head's phone, he pulls it from his pocket reluctantly. 

It rings before going to voicemail but that's never stopped you before. You call until he picks up screaming into the receiver. 

"WHAT THE FUCK I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKING CALL SHITTY HAIR!!!" 

"Enough with the dramatics, what could be more important than your other roommates deciding bedrooms in the house?" 

"Is that?!" A female voice screeches your name once she figured out who you are, "Listen here slut, I'm in the middle of getting my back broken and…" 

"Bakugou we are leaving in fifteen minutes. I advise that you get here on time. Otherwise we will leave without you." You interrupt the angry booty call. 

"And if I fucking don't, Icebrat?" You roll your eyes at the nickname as you sigh. 

"Then I'll spend your portion of the allowance on something else. Fifteen minutes." 

"OI!" Bakugou shouts before a woman's voice comes across the speaker.

"Stop ignoring me bitch and stop talking to my man!"

"Oh sweetheart your 'man' is only going to your place cause he sleeps on a crusty ass futon not because he actually likes you." Your voice is honeyed in venom before dipping low, "Bakugou be home or you forfeit the fucking funding for your bed."  

With that you hang up, passing Kirishima's phone back to him. Everyone shares a glance as they remember just how icy you can be, there was no threat in your voice. Only a promise to Bakugou. 

"Sero be a dear and help me take my mattress up." You ask lifting the box with the unbuilt frame with ease. Suddenly skittish Sero takes a moment to grab your mattress as Denki helps him bring it up the stairs but abandons Sero by the bathroom at the top of the stairs, forcing the tape hero to face this challenge alone. Sero only hopes the room neighboring yours is shut and he sighs with relief when it is. 

He helps you set the items into your room that is located in the front of the house.  You take in the view of the perfectly sized yet small bedroom. Two large sets of sliding doors that meet in the corner force you to place your bed against what you assume is the shared wall of one of your roommates. Sero swallows thickly as he realizes just why Denki abandoned him. He can see it in your eyes, the curiosity sparkling as you turn to face him, you're going to inquire about the room next door. 

Please Gods do not ask him. 

Don't fucking asking him please. 

"Who do I owe the pleasure?" You smile sweetly, praying it is Kirishima or Sero at the very least. Hell you'd even take Denki who sings loudly off key, as long as it wasn't Bakugou. You watch the raven hair man's face fall, his dark eyes avoiding yours as he answers and yet somehow you already knew. 

"Ba-Bakugou's" The room drops twenty degrees as the floor freezes beneath your feet, snow floating gently to the floor as Sero's breath puffs in the new found tundra. 

"SERO I NEED YOUR HELP MAN! JIRO'S DRUM SET AND AMPS ARE HEAVY!" Denki calls from downstairs, saving Sero's hide. The man rushes and catches himself from slipping before he practically jumps down the entire set of stairs. 

"How did she take it?" Mina whispers before following Sero's eyes to where your bedroom should be. Urakaka comes from the study with snowflakes dusting her hair and a shiver. 

"Well at least I'll never be hot in the summer." 

[tothedarkdarkseas]

I think you'll be quite disappointed, but I'm a cultchie (Born in Belfast though, so Belfastie by birth). Y'know the way singers do shoutouts? I used to think it was daft, but there's this opening line in Star ("Tony went to fight in Belfast, Rudi stayed at home to starve, na na na, I could make it all worthwhile as a rock & roll star"). I shot straight up and said hold on that's me lol (apparently, his mum's Hiberno!).

The slang all blurs, but I was whinging, "He's doin' my fuckin' nut in" to a Londoner once and she said, "God, that must be Northern." But people do pick and mix, so I love it when your characters do it because it sounds a bit tongue-in-cheek like they're mixing slang on purpose to be cheeky. Especially when Murdoc does it, I always get that impression that he's picking and choosing to be theatrical or that they've picked it up by travelling to play in bands and squatting.

A lot of the "traditonal" slang actually comes from immigrant families before it gets adopted into the mainstream and that seems to be happening with Jamaican English ("roadman slang") right now, so I have this funny image of Stu getting on his clearance sale Adidas fit and saying, "Wagwan, blud" to Murdoc (y'know, to keep up with the yoofs) while Murdoc looks like he wants to belt him. Well, hope this helped!

(Alright, I really rambled on so there's a cut for length, also because it's a secret post just for you anon!)

Not disappointed at all! If anything I'm fascinated and super curious, not to mention embarrassed for failing to set up a broad enough net when I asked! All I can do is ask forgiveness, Americans have upside-down brains and we physically cannot use the terms "the UK" and "Great Britain" correctly. I didn't want to imply your message was equating being British solely with being English, but I fell into the second more insidious trap of delineating Northern Ireland and Ireland... I'd like to say it won't happen again, but I don't know how much faith I have in myself there!

Anyway, I've been doing some reading up on what you've said! "Cultchie," that's an interesting term (I've read it's a pejorative but a reclaimed one, it's sometimes tough to navigate around the unfamiliar derisive slang, so do tell me if I'm asking for a kick by writing it) and though I can't say I've ever heard it before, it opened up a lot of discussions online about the etymology of the word, who it applies to and who it doesn't (nearly anyone outside Dublin will be called it at some point is what I've read) and the literary history. I must admit the only book I have that I'm aware of the Irish origins of is Dubliners, but I've added a book called Normal People by Sally Rooney to my reading list. I've also been gagging to read At Swim, Two Boys since hearing a short reading from it but it's never available anywhere for rental; realistically, I doubt any library in the tri-state area is going to have it, much less for the Kindle! Looping back though, to squash any idea of that this is disappointing to me, keep in mind that I live in the south, which is a distinctly different environment from any other corner of America-- for the worse. My partner came from the true-blue deep south, a town with less than 1000 people where the largest business for miles was the feed store (as in: feed for livestock.) Obviously, growing up in different countries with different cultures and traditions and dialects paints the canvas in all different colours, but there are some spots on our canvases that will look more similar than mine does to North Americans living in Brooklyn or Toronto!

I also took some "cultchie cred" quizzes, and the results are in...

Anywho, thank you for giving me something to research! I'll have just a bit more knowledge now, and hopefully I'll be able to come back to you with more in the future. In the spirit of candor around here, I realize it may also be a bit... patronizing, I guess, to come on here reporting what I've read but never experienced and therefore cannot reach above a certain median of understanding about. I'll touch back on that in a bit probably, but often I do think it makes me look like a daft man standing on an apple crate thinking it's an accomplishment to learn basic things, when all it's really revealing is a widespread culture of insularity and ignorance. It's something I've cringed at many times in the history of this blog and I don't really know how to reconcile that, to be honest with you: how to reconcile the bare minimum respect of attempting accuracy about real people's every-day living culture (not a fantasy world, not made-up lore) and the embarrassment of making mistakes in public. There's a cycle of "say something wrong, do some reading, come back with new terminology, say it wrong regarding the term's regionalism, repeatedly re-learn phrases, concepts and cultural actions and struggle to apply them correctly."

...So on that note, haha, thank you for being kind and giving me credit but I can assure you that any pick-and-mixed slang or borrowed terminology from the others' neck of the woods is just me making a mistake. I have occasionally knowingly left in "Americanisms" that I just felt fit the sentence structure better (one that comes to mind is Stu thinking the words "candy and codeine" which may not have been the term he'd really use, but I chose alliteration over accuracy...) and in those instances I hoped to use the excuse that they've travelled the world, have two non-Englishmen in the band, and starting phase 4 and after they have been headquartered for some extended period overseas. But a lot of the inter-British regionally incorrect bits like Stu saying "sommat/summat" (I've since edited this out of Respect To The North) were just me not having a good handle on it, haha. Thank you for pretending it's more deliberate than that, please do me a massive favour and continue pretending! I do agree though that Murdoc would borrow slang from the Sussex area to be cheeky to Stu and that he'd pick and mix more overall as he's been further flung over the years, but I think Stu's more likely to adopt "trendy"/newer East London slang, and I also can see both picking up a couple things from overseas as they filter more into the mainstream there. That line is a tough one to walk, though. Not to keep whinging about a really silly problem, but it is harder than it seems to know what is actually believable, versus what is technically in the lexicon because some writer used it in a Guardian article, but it's a bit random or too modern, or it just doesn't really feel like it matches the characters. As mentioned, I think Murdoc's easier to play around with as he has such a penchant for mockery, theatricality, cheekiness, and otherwise flat-out lying, so for him to mix slang all around feels suitably chaotic and intentional. I don't want to step out of my depth here, which is why I've very very minimally discussed it in fic, but I'd love to see Stu's exposure to language explored regarding his family's history with travelling. The Tusspots' canon funfair implies a showman history, though based on other contradictory details it seems less likely Stu himself was always travelling and this was not a constant lifestyle for David and Rachel, but something David did for part of the year while Rachel maintained a permanent residence in Crawley. I do think it's interesting if Stu spent his summers with the funfair and it would explain a few things he picked up throughout life. While (according to what I've read) funfair travellers face less discrimination than ethno-cultural travellers, it's still quite a sensitive subject and I am not nearly educated enough to write about travelling as a whole.

Sorry, I'm ranting and rambling here, but you've pulled me back on track with my absolute favourite image in the world which is Stu in a discount Adidas fit. I love Stu in Fifa because it's such a look, I love Stu in Kappa more because it feels appropriately outdated, but I think we can all agree Adidas is the GOAT right now and Stu likes to be a bit on-trend. I don't often say this but #I'mWithMurdoc and would also like to belt Stu for that. It's what he deserves. I still want to hear it though, canon owes us more of Stu being horrible, cringe-inducing, and just offensive enough that you expect he could probably get away with it, but you still wonder if he's gonna get called out.

[boffeeceans]

Change Your Life, Chapter Four

Beatrice woke up in a cold sweat, she could vaguely remember the ride back to camp and being carried to her tent. She knows exactly why she passed out like that, it had happened before. It wasn't something to get too worried about, but it wasn't anything good either. Beatrice stood up, her head was spinning and she lost her footing a couple of times, but she eventually got out of the tent. She looked up, expecting to see a light blue sky and the sun, but was met with dark blue and the moon. She started walking, but didn't get far before she tripped over her own feet, she readied herself for the impact of the ground, but someone caught her. She looked up to see who it was and was met with Abigail's worried expression.

"You alright there?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, thank you." Beatrice looked around trying to find Arthur through her blurry vision. He was sitting at the campfire by himself. "I'm gonna go talk to Arthur, thanks again for catching me."

Abigail looked over to where Arthur was sitting, "Need some help getting over there?"

"Oh no, I think I got it," She gave Abigail a reassuring smile before straightening herself and making her way over to the campfire. She nearly tripped and fell again a couple of times making her think that maybe she should have accepted Abigail's help. It took her a while, but she got there eventually. She tried to step over the log that Arthur was sitting on, but standing on one leg made her lose her balance and she almost fell over again. She put her hand on Arthur's shoulder to regain her balance which caused him to look over to her. He got up to help her sit down. They didn't say anything, they just sat there in silence for a while staring at the fire. All that could be heard was the crackling of the fire and the various noises of sleeping people.

"I'm sorry if I scared you back there," Beatrice broke the silence. Arthur shifted a little, he didn't like to admit it, but she did scare him. She was fine one moment and the next she was on the floor.

"What happened?" Arthur looked at her just to a smile growing on her face. It confused him, he had no idea what was so funny about it.

"I didn't get a whole lot of sleep and I was busy all day long, so I… I kinda forgot to eat…"

"How do you forget to eat?" Arthur asked, even more confused than before.

"I just forget when I'm really busy and…" Her smile faded a little, but didn't completely disappear, "It's just that momma or Elijah used to remind me to eat something if that happened."

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose, he reached in his satchel and got out a can of peaches and a fork, he opened the can with his knife and handed it to Beatrice, "Eat."

Beatrice's face lit up and the smile reappeared on her face bigger than before, she took the can and didn't hesitate to start eating. Arthur laughed at the sight of her just shoveling down peaches like it was nothing.

"What?" Beatrice asked with big blue eyes and half a peach in her mouth, which caused Arthur to laugh harder. "I fuckin' love peaches, alright?" She said after she swallowed the peach.

"I didn't say anythin'" Arthur felt something warm growing within his chest when she smiled at him, she had smiled at him before, but never this genuine. The feeling reminded him of when he saw Isaac for the first time.

Arthur's thoughts got cut short when Beatrice got up after finishing her peaches. Damn that kid can eat fast, Arthur thought before getting up himself. Beatrice stretched and yawned, "I'm gonna go back to sleep and you look tired, so you should too."

"I will." She was right, he was tired; he hadn't closed an eye ever since she passed out.

Beatrice smiled and pulled him into a hug, Arthur tensed at the gesture. No one has given him a hug in years, but he returned it after a couple of seconds.

"You stayed up for me, didn't you?" Her voice was muffled by being buried in his shoulder; not being quite tall enough to reach above it.

Arthur chuckled, "Yeah, you got me."

Beatrice broke away from the hug and gave him one last smile, "Goodnight." She turned around and walked to her tent.

"Goodnight."

Arthur watched her, that warm feeling never left his chest and he had a smile on his face. There was something about her, she was strong and vulnerable at the same time. He felt the need to protect her the way he couldn't protect Isaac.

---

Weeks have passed and Beatrice was allowed to tag along with Arthur on more jobs because she more than proved herself after busting Micah out of jail. She stole a stagecoach with him and Hosea. They did it at night, Beatrice and Arthur went inside to rob the house while Hosea took the stagecoach. They got a couple hundred dollars from that and Dutch was happy. A couple of days later John, Charles, Arthur, and Sean robbed a train while Beatrice and Micah robbed a banking coach.

It took some convincing to let her go on a job with just Micah. Arthur didn't like the idea one bit, but he eventually let her go.

Robbing the coach seemed to go really well, they got it without missing a shot. It was easy, at least they thought it was until they got ambushed by O'Driscoll's. It was starting to get more and more clear why the Van der Linde's wanted them dead and vice versa. It took a while, but Beatrice and Micah got rid of them and they rode back to camp with just a couple scratches and an extra twelve hundred dollars in their pockets.

Arthur and Abigail had been coming up to Beatrice with snacks throughout the day to make sure she didn't pass out again. She didn't appreciate Arthur telling Abigail about it at first, Beatrice didn't want to be seen as weak, but Abigail assured her that that wasn't the case. It took a little getting used to, they treated her like she could starve to death any second.

Beatrice stood next to her horse with a mostly empty cup of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other. She was thinking about maybe going out for a ride, the last time when she was around this many people for more than a couple of hours was on the ranch and she was getting kind of sick of it.

She watched Arthur talk to Abigail, she couldn't hear it, but Arthur didn't seem too happy about whatever Abigail asked him. He made his way over to Jack who was sitting close to where Beatrice was standing. He said something about going fishing and Beatrice thought that she might tag along. Arthur mounted his horse and pulled Jack on with him shortly after. Beatrice dumped the remaining bit of coffee on the floor and put the cup in her saddlebag while Arthur and Jack rode out of camp. She mounted her horse and caught up to them.

Arthur looked to his right to see Beatrice riding next to him, "Where are you goin'?"

Beatrice flashed him a smile, "Wherever you are."

"Why?"

She shrugged, "Because I'm bored, I guess."

Arthur nodded at her and continued his conversation with Jack until they arrived at the river. Arthur taught Jack how to fish while Beatrice sat next to them, she stared out into the river and watched how the fish circled around the bait. It didn't take long until Jack got bored and started doing something else.

"Not catching much there, are ya?" She said with a slight laugh behind her words.

Arthur looked down at her and raised his eyebrows, "What? You think you can do better?"

Beatrice laughed, "Definitely not, I'm better at hunting. Elijah, however, wouldn't hesitate to take that rod from you."

Arthur slowly nodded and focused his gaze back on the river, Beatrice didn't speak of Elijah often, but there was always something of a smile on her face when she did. Arthur wanted to know more about him; not sure if they'll ever get to meet, so he decided to just ask, "What's he like?"

"Who? Eli?"

Arthur nodded again.

"Well…" Beatrice thought about how she was going to say this in the nicest way possible, "He's kind of an asshole," There wasn't a nice way to say it, "He left me in the middle of nowhere for fucks sake, I could've died!" Beatrice kept ranting on about how she hated him and that she didn't care if he was alive or not. Maybe asking about Elijah wasn't such a good idea, and Maybe interrupting Beatrice wasn't such a good idea either, but he had to do it.

"You don't mean that."

Beatrice confirmed that it wasn't a good idea by the way she looked at him, she was mad and didn't appreciate Arthur telling her what she did and didn't mean, "How the hell would you know that?" She got up and looked him in the eye, "You know nothing about me." Her expression softened when she saw the hurt look in his eyes and averted her gaze, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, "I'm sorry… I just-" She took a deep breath and started walking towards her horse, "I'll see you back at camp."

Arthur wished that he could've said something, but she was right, he didn't know her. He wanted to though, but giving Beatrice her space was the best option right now.

---

She shouldn't have done that. Shouldn't have said those things about Elijah, Shouldn't have yelled at Arthur. He was right now that she thought about it; she really didn't mean it. Elijah was her brother and she loved him, even if he left her for dead. Beatrice hadn't gone straight back to camp, she had to blow some steam off and decided that she would go hunting. She had managed to catch a rabbit and a deer before riding back to camp. She asked John to carry the deer for her after already struggling to get it on her horse. Beatrice leaned against Pearson's table with a sigh and looked around for Arthur, she had to apologize. Not just a quick sorry so that she could leave, a real apology.

She spotted Arthur talking to Miss Grimshaw, It was hard to hear them from the distance, but she could make out something about a letter and a woman named Mary.

"What're you thinkin' about?"

Beatrice looked at John who was now standing next to her, also leaning on the table, "What?"

"You were staring at nothing, so there must be something on your mind."

"Nothing, really. Just…" She bit the inside of her cheek before speaking again, "Who's Mary?"

John scratched the back of his head, he was not expecting that question, "She's uh… she's Arthur's ex-fiancée."

"Oh- wait. Arthur was engaged?"

"Yeah, why are you asking me about Mary anyway?"

Beatrice nodded her head towards Arthur, "He got a letter from her."

John moved his head to look at him and saw he was reading the letter, he looked sad, "Well, that can't be anything good.

Arthur placed the letter and his satchel, Beatrice's gaze followed him as he moved toward her and John. He walked past them without saying a word, he didn't even look at them. She moved away from the table and watched Arthur mount his horse and ride out of camp.

"what are you planning?" John asked.

Beatrice looked over her shoulder, "I'm not planning anything." She said as she stepped towards her horse.

"You're gonna follow him, aren't ya?"

She gave him an innocent smile, "Of course not."

John shook his head with a slight laugh and went on to do something else.

---

Beatrice did indeed follow Arthur, she couldn't help it, her curiosity got the better of her and she had to know who this Mary was. She made sure to keep her distance, but that didn't stop her from flinching every time Dynamite stepped in a twig. She stayed behind him until he rode up to a small farm on the outskirts of Valentine, Beatrice diverted off the road and onto a small hill. She dismounted and shooed him away, crouching down she slowly made her way past the barn, and to the side of the house.

Beatrice listened in on the conversation between Mary and Arthur. They both sounded sad and were hesitant with their words, which was to be expected since they haven't seen each other in years. Mary needed help with her little brother, Arthur didn't agree to help her right away. He went on about how her family didn't like him and that he wasn't good enough for them, but he eventually agreed by asking where Jamie was.

"I owe you."

"You already owe me."

Hearing their last exchange made her think of something, something incredibly stupid, something she definitely shouldn't do, but something she is going to do. Beatrice walked back to the road and waited on her horse until Mary exited the house to go to the train station. Beatrice moved her horse into a slow-paced after Mary passed her, she didn't worry too much about the distance; Mary didn't know her anyway. Beatrice walked into the train station when Mary was just starting to sit down.

"Mary?"

Mary looked up from her book, confusion, and surprise written all over her face, "Do I know you?"

"No uh, no you don't," Beatrice moved her hat more towards the back of her head so that Mary could see her face properly, "I'm Beatrice Morgan… Arthur's daughter."

Mary's eyes widened, "I- he never told me he had a daughter."

"Well, he couldn't have, he only found out a few months ago."

Beatrice took the seat next to Mary, she should have planned out what she was going to say before approaching her. They sat in silence for a while, an uncomfortable one. Beatrice tried to offer Mary a cigarette, but she declined, making the situation more awkward. Every time Beatrice went to say something she closed her mouth again, she knew what she wanted to say, but not how.

"Is there a reason why you came to see me?"

There it was. The perfect opportunity to just blurt it out, and she did. and then she wished she didn't. The expression and Mary's face was… not good, not in the slightest. Beatrice prepared herself to get yelled at or something, but the next words that left Mary's mouth weren't directed at her.

"Jamie!"

Oh shit. It was good that Mary was reunited with her brother, what wasn't good was that Arthur came back while Beatrice was still in the train station. She quickly grabbed the newspaper from the table and pretended to read it and hoped that Arthur hadn't already seen her.

"Beatrice."

She lowered the newspaper revealing a sweet smile, "Arthur."

"What the hell are you doin' here?"

"I uh… I was just having a lovely conversation with Mary over here." She gestured over to Mary who was grabbing her bags. Arthur shook his head and dismissed Beatrice for now, He took Mary's bags and walked her to the train. When she got on the train she turned around and glared at Beatrice for a second before focusing on Arthur.

"I… you're… oh you'll never change. I know that."

It took everything in Beatrice's power to not go up to her and yell to her about how Arthur is a great person, maybe not great, but better than most outlaws and that he deserved so much better than here. But instead of doing all that she just scoffed. Arthur turned around to face Beatrice, there was a variety of emotions displayed on his face, but he was quick to hide them.

"What did you say to her?"

"Oh nothin' important, really." Beatrice turned around and started to leave.

"Don't lie to me, I saw the way she glared at you."

Beatrice stopped in her tracks and hung her head low, "I told her…" She took a deep breath before continuing, "to go on a date with you instead of just asking you to run her errands." She spoke so fast, she just hoped that Arthur understood what she said.

"Jesus Christ, kid." Arthur sounded disappointed, which is worse than mad in a way.

Beatrice turned around with downcast eyes, "I'm sorry for following you and talking to your ex," She looked up and sighed, "I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier today, I- I shouldn't have done that. I'm really so-"

"I'm gonna stop you before you say sorry again," Arthur chuckled. "I get it, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, you had every right to ask," Beatrice smiled at him, "Besides, he is your son after all. How about I buy you a drink as a formal apology?"

Arthur thought for a moment, it was still early, but he could definitely use a drink after all that, "Sure, why not.'

"Great!" They started walking towards the saloon, "Y'know, I'm actually glad she didn't ask you out on a date."

Arthur raised his eyebrows, "And why's that?"

"It's just that you deserve much better than her and she's kind of a b-" Arthur elbowed her in the ribs before she could finish her sentence, "Unpleasant woman. She's an unpleasant woman and I don't like her."

Arthur shook his head, she wasn't the only one that didn't like Mary. He's pretty sure Abigail didn't like her, but she barely knew her so that wasn't much to off. He placed a hand on Beatrice's shoulder and squeezed it a little.

They walked up to the bar when they entered the saloon and Beatrice placed some money on the counter, "A bottle of whiskey with two glasses please."

"Wait," Arthur blinked a few times, "a bottle?"

"Yeah, a bottle." Beatrice moved away from the bar and sat at an empty table.

"I thought we were just going for a drink, not a whole damn bottle."

"Oh come on," She poured him a drink, "We won't end up in jail, I promise."

Arthur looked at the drink, then at Beatrice, "Oh, what the hell,"

It was past midnight, the bottle was almost empty and Beatrice was singing very loud and off-key. Arthur wasn't half as drunk as her, sure he drank quite a bit, but not enough to not remember what he did the next day. He was talking to some guy about who knows what, until Beatrice came up to him with the biggest smile on her face and grabbed his hand.

"We gotta go, right now." Her words were slurred and barely audible.

"Why?"

Beatrice pulled him towards the door, "Trust me, now come on."

Arthur said a quick goodbye to the stranger and followed her out the door and to their horses, he had to prevent her from falling multiple times, because she couldn't walk straight and was constantly tripping over her feet. They stopped by their horses and Beatrice just started laughing.

"What's so funny?"

She reached into her pockets and pulled out money, rings, watched, and other valuables. "I robbed every goddamn bastard in that place," She said, way too loud and still laughing.

"Jesus, put that away and keep your voice down,"

"Sorry," She whispered, she tried to open one of her saddlebags to place the valuables in it but was clearly failing to do so. Arthur opened it for her and laughed at the state she was in; fumbling around and almost dropping everything she was holding. She tried to put her foot in the stirrup but fell backwards as soon as she lifted her foot off the ground. Luckily Arthur stood right behind her and was able to catch her in time, he helped to her feet and turned her to face him. He grabbed her by the waist and lifted her on the back of her horse, "I can ride myself."

Arthur laughed and lifted himself into the saddle, "I don't think so, kid. Just don't throw up on me," He said, he whistled for his own horse to follow and rode out of town.

Beatrice scoffed and pouted, drunk her didn't agree with this one bit, but sober her would be thankful. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face between his shoulder blades. "You should read momma's journal if you want to know more about Elijah."

Arthur looked over his shoulder and was about to say something, but Beatrice already forgot what she said and started singing Ring Dang Doo at an extremely high volume.

---

Beatrice woke up everyone in camp with her singing, but she shut up and fell asleep as soon as her head hit her pillow. Arthur sighed in relief and walked towards his own tent, he laid down on his cot and tried to sleep, but found himself unable to. He kept thinking about what Beatrice said, he hadn't opened the journal since he first got it. He wouldn't want anyone to read his journal and thought it was a violation of privacy, but curiosity got the better of him. He opened the chest where he kept his clothes and reached for the book at the bottom of it. He sat back on his cot and opened the journal on the first page only to be surprised to be met with an envelope with his name on it. He slowly opened it, the letter was stained with tears and blood spatters, he took a deep breath and started reading it.

Dear Arthur,

If you're reading this, you know that I was pregnant, gave birth to two beautiful children and that I'm dead. It's weird to say that I'm dead when I'm still breathing, barely mind you, but still breathing. I got diagnosed with tuberculosis sometime last year and it made me think about all the unfinished business that I have. Telling you about Elijah and Beatrice was one of those things, but I have no idea where the hell you are and I'm running out of time.

I want to give you this journal, I wrote a bunch of letters in it meant for you, but I was too cowardly to ever send the first ones and after a while, I realized you guys would've moved and I had no idea where to send them. There's eighteen years worth of information in this thing and I want you to read it.

Please take care of them for me, and take care of yourself as well. I wish I didn't leave, I left because I wanted a safe life for them, but that didn't work out. I still love you and I think about you every day. I hope you found someone to love again, someone you can spend the rest of your life with, someone who tells you everything and doesn't keep things from you that you have every right to know about. I'm sorry.

I left because I was scared, I didn't know how you would react and teenage me thought it was a good idea to just leave without a word instead of just talking about it with you. I'm not asking you to ever forgive me for that, but I am gonna ask that you keep them from doing reckless things.

Good luck with reading all the letters.

Love,

Ethelyn Lowe.