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amitlee · 3 years

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No regrets

I definitely self prompted this one. I’m using the words “no regrets” as a small guide.

Summary- Phil and Techno have come to rely on each other somewhat. You could almost say that in messing with one, you are messing with both.

Lee!Tommy Ler!Techno Ler!Philza

Warnings: This is a tickle fic!

Do not tag as ship post! This is all entirely platonic.

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Tommyinnit hummed lightly to himself as he looked through Philza’s chests. He would most likely return the items at some point, all he needed was a few emeralds an-

“Tommy?”

Fuck fuck shit fuck.

“Philza! My man! My friend, what are you doing today!” Tommy slammed the chest, stood up, and shifted slightly closer to the door.

“Well not much, I was just coming home actually. I didn’t expect to see anyone here. Especially not someone looking through my things.”

‘Maybe if I sprinted I could get out the door before he could react.’ Tommy wondered to himself as he continued to slowly inch toward the exit.

“Speaking of which, I would quite like thoes emeralds back if you don’t mind. And while you’re at it, it would do wonders to ask next time buddy.” Phil continued speaking, not noticing how Tommy had moved further away from him.

“What? Emeralds! You have emeralds? Big P why didn’t you tell me! You know, I’ve never even seen an emerald before.”

Tommy rambled on without any real meaning to his words as he took more noticeable steps towards the door.

“Tom. Don’t you walk out that door with my things on you.” Phil couldn’t help the smile that came over him, in reality he had grabbed maybe 10 emeralds at most. At this point he just wanted to mess with the younger boy.

Tommy let out his signature laugh and shouted “NO REGRETS. CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!” before turning around and booking it outside. Well. He would have, had he not run right into a certain hybrid.

“AHHAH- AHHHH! Oh. Hello. Um.. Technoblade I know this seems strange and it has been a while but I am in a situation right now and would like to get going if that isn’t too much trou-“

“Hold him right there for me please” Came a reply from somewhere behind him.

Uh oh.

Technoblade wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, effectively trapping him in place.

“Woah woah fellas, surely we can work something out. I am really a busy man contrary to popular belief.”

“Tommy Tommy Tommy... I told you not to walk out that door. Look what you’ve gotten yourself into now.” Tommy’s face flushed and he refused to meet anyone’s gaze. “Turn him towards me will you bud?” Without another word, Tommy was flipped around to face Phiza.

He had a smile to his face, sure didn’t seem upset. That calmed Tommy down, they wouldn’t hurt him surely.

“I gave you chance after chance Tom. You ignored me blatantly and for what? A few measly emeralds? I would like them back along with an apology please.”

Apology!? Now this was just getting rediculous. You can not expect the big man himself to give you a heartfelt apology for something so silly. “Hmm. Let me think about it-no.” Tommy replied with a cocky smirk.

“I wouldn’t test my luck if I were you, have you ever seen Philza like this?” A low, gruff voice spoke directly into Tommy’s ear, making him squirm lightly.

“I won’t waste any more of your precious time then. Tell me when you’re ready to give them back.” Philza stepped forward and began to randomly poke at the boy’s middle, keeping him guessing whilst not being too harsh so he could watch for any signs of discomfort. He was only met with childlike giggles. Tommy’s usual laugh can be loud and overwhelming, this laugh however was gentle but filled with life. You could practically feel the joy radiating from him.

“Ph-phihihil wait waIT-“ Tommy cut himself off with a squeal as Techno used his vantage point to squeeze where his hands rested on either of the boy’s sides.

“TECHNOHO! Guhuhuys it tihihickles!”

“Well I would sure hope so, this would be a rather weird reaction to have to pain.” Techno’s monotone voice combined with Phil’s loving smile increase the ticklish feeling tenfold.

“DOHOHONT TEASE MEHEHE IM GOING TOHOHO START STAHAHBING SHIT” Tommy covered his face as he felt his blush spread to his ears. Despite his words, he couldn’t be more happy with the situation he found himself in, the boy had been through so much and was constantly under pressure. Honestly, all this laughter was freeing.

“Ahahawww, does the teasing get to you Tommy boy? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this, you’re practically melting, I think if we let you go you’d just fall to the ground.” Phil was right, Tommy’s knees had bucked almost as soon as it had begun; and with Phil’s hands now scratching his stomach, there was no hope in regaining balance.

Giggles turned to laughter as Tommy’s squirming began anew, his stomach had always been a weak spot. “PHIHIHIL, TECH Plehehease I-ahahAHAhaha” Tommy leaned his head back into Techno’s chest and let gentle laughter overtake him. The boys backed off slightly, Phil lightly traced shapes on his stomach while techno stilled his hands completely and allowed Tommy to breathe.

“How are you feeling Tommy?” Philza asked with just the right amount of teasing and kindness to melt Tommy down to his very core.

“Ihihi- I’m ohokay, just thinking ahabout your mothers.” Ok so he had decided to provoke them a little more, sue him. Even though he knew Philza and Techno could be outstanding lers, he had never really seen them work together. So it is understandable for him to have been completely blind sighted by what happened next.

Without saying a word, his ticklers went in full force. Phil had one hand on his stomach and the other squeezing his hips; Techno had both of his hands squeezing Tommy’s sides rapidly while he burried his face into his neck to blow small raspberries and whisper teases.

Tommy went apeshit. He was already flustered and the anticipation that had built up over the last few minutes from the small tickles had made him much more sensitive. The teases, while thoroughly enjoyed, were completely unexpected and caused Tommy’s laughter to go sqeaky.

“AHH WAAIT WHAHAHAT CALM DOHOHOWN GUHUHYS, BOHOHYS LETS TALK ABOUT THIHIHIS!”

“Oh we’ve done plenty of talking Tommy.”

“Yes we have, I think we’ll stick to this for a while.”

God he didn’t know how much more he could handle. On one hand, his face was bright red and he was laughing so hard he thought he might just die there. But on the other, he hadn’t felt this stress free in weeks, maybe months even.

In the end, his need for air won over his will and the apologies came out. “IM SOHOHORRY! IM SOHOHRRY, I’LL GIHIHIVE THEM BAHACK AND I WOHOHON’T STEAL ANYMOHOHORE!”

Just like that it was over. Phil rubbed away the ghost tickles while techno stayed in the same position, his hug now peaceful without any tickly intentions. This was definitely needed, the boy would have fallen over had it not been for the supporting arms.

“See that was so easy! I’ll tell you what Tommy. You come inside and rest for a while, when you are ready to go you can take what you need.” Phil’s kindness never ceased to amaze Tommy, he opened his eyes and was met with a fond smile, he immediately closed his eyes again as the blush resurfaced.

“Thank you Philllll” Tommy groaned playfully as he tried to act displeased, his wide smile and relaxed state made his statement a bit redundant.

When he could stand on his own again, all three of the boys walked back to Phil’s cabin and stayed together for a while. Tommy was very calm and surprisingly touchy the entire time, not that either of them minded. So cuddles and story telling ensued until it was night time, and they all fell into a peaceful sleep.

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NOW THATS MORE LIKE IT! I hope you guys liked it and I am completely open to criticism! Please remember that prompts are always welcome! Have an amazing day and I love you so much❤️

#tickle fic #ticklecommunity #ticklishTommy #lee!Tommy #Ler!techno #ler!philza #ler!technoblade #ler!philzaminecraft #lee!tommyinnit #tommyinnit #philza #technoblade #mcyt tickle #mcyt tickle fic

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demomonic-murmurs · 4 years

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Heaven [Shimizu Kiyoko × Reader]

Summary: You and Kiyoko come home from a Halloween party and fuck with all the love in the world.

Pair: Sub! Kiyoko × Dom! Reader

Tags: Established Relationship, NSFW, Sexual Content, Extreme Usage of Toys, Ropes, Size Kink, Breast Worship, Body Worship, Vaginal Penetration, Cervix Penetration, Some mild Role Playing at the beginning [angel/demon], slight Corruption Kink, pregnancy and lactation is mentioned like once, actually very soft and lots of love and long after care

Warnings: I write my smut like bad hentai doujinshi's, some parts are probably a bit unrealistic

Author's note: This is pure self indulgent filth. This exists to fulfill every kink of mine in existence. Enjoy.

As much as Kiyoko wanted to, she couldn't resist you. Not with that pleading gaze. She was stronger usually. Able to keep her composure, even when you tugged on her arm and steal a kiss when she turned her head. Maybe it was the alcohol in her system from the Halloween party you two had been earlier.

"Fine. I'll indulge you for today. You're so silly", she sighed, trying to sound disinterested. She was not. Disinterested that is. She was very much interested in what you were proposing to her. She just had a hard time admitting to it.

You smiled. You knew your girlfriend. You knew from the way she was clenching her thighs, earlier at the party around your leg as you guided her hips to grind into you and now in anticipation of what was coming next.

"Those are some big words coming from a tiny angel like you", you said, slipping into your role easily as you grabbed her chin and titled her head so she could meet your gaze.

Kiyoko swallowed audibly and her face flushed, the red contrasting beautifully against her pale skin and white halter dress. It was short, shorter than what she would normally wear, the flowy white barely reaching her knees. She had insisted to at least wearing a pantyhose underneath and really, who were you to complain. The halo sat on top of her head, secured by a thin hairband, finishing her look perfectly.

"What? Already at a loss for words? You wandered into my realm after all... and dressed like that nonetheless. Were you trying to seduce a demoness like myself?"

Kiyoko whimpered and shook her head, unable to meet your gaze. Whether her whole demeanor came from her actually playing her role very well or her just being meek and shy because she was horny (which was something that even now, she had trouble to admit whenever she was aroused), it turned you on.

"Oh really", you mused,"so you didn't come here with a purpose? Thats hard to believe when you're already filled with so much lust and yearning."

You let your other hand wander long her body, stopping to brush a thumb over her nipple, which was still obscured by her dress and that pesky bra of hers (it made you wish she'd wear them less, her nipples were already very sensitive as they are and the thought of clothes brushing against them planted a lot of unpure thoughts in your head), before finally reaching its destination, pulling up her dress so you could slip a hand underneath her skirt and brush your fingers alongside her clothed pussy. She was only wearing thing cotton panties underneath, which did little to nothing to hide her horny state, juices already having soaked the first laying and now working on completly drenching her pantyhose.

"That is very impure for an angel don't you think? You're not as innocent as you try to make yourself out to be. Poor baby probably doesn't even know what all of this means, do you now? So you came to us for help and really, who are we to deny you?"

Kiyoko squeaked when you gripped her thigh and slipped a hand under her back so you could pick her up and carry you to your bedroom. You let her drop onto the bed and crouched down to pull out your box with toys and other items you two had found yourselves using for your sexual explorations. She eyed the box, her gaze holding a gleam of excitement as you set it on the corner of your massive bed, before her eyes snapped back to you as you moved to sit between her legs, roughly forcing them apart.

"Have you ever touched yourself?", you asked her, hand gripping her jaw.

"No never why would I sin", she moaned out when one of your knees pressed against her crotch. Now she was really getting into her role and it excited you. It reminded you so much about the first time the two of you shared together, you were her very first everything. First partner, first kiss, first time mastrubating with her first orgasm following and lastly the first to have sex with her. You felt bad for liking that shy yet curious part of her so much, felt bad for how much it turned you on when she was writhing and pleasure, not knowing what it meant or why she felt it and just completely giving into the moment. Maybe it was because your girlfriend always had been composed and cool. And maybe you just wanted to see that slip a bit.

"Oh really? So this would be your first...?", you said and trailed off, leaning down to kiss her. She was already panting which made it easier for you to slip a tongue into her mouth and relish in the wet and lewd sounds the french kiss was creating, "that's so unbecoming of an angel. Such a lustful kiss. Aren't you supposed to be all about chastity?"

Her hazy gaze met yours and the string of saliva that had connected you prior snapped. You could only watch in delight as she darted her tongue out to lick it up. Kiyoko was toying with your patience and self control. You might have been the one in charge but that didn't change the fact that she had wrapped you around her little finger.

"Or maybe you know exactly what you're doing. You're a bold one aren't you, a wolf disgusing herself as a little sheep. Maybe this was a fantasy of yours, wandering into the demon realm just so you could hope for one of us to find you and defile you in every way imaginable. Would you like that?"

She nodded her head enthusiastically. You smirked.

"Great little angel."

You moved to open the box and pulled out a pair of scissors. You pushed the two triangle shaped pieces of fabric that were covering her chest between her breasts, to lazy to even bother undoing the knos that hold the dress together. Taking one of her brastraps, you cut through it and did the same with the other one before finalizing your decision of destroying her bra by cutting through the middle part to pull it off compeltly. Kiyoko weakly protested but it was only a cheap white bra she had brought for the occasion (black was her colour after all, though purple complemented her perfectly as well).

Now her breasts were free and you felt blessed for having a girlfriend with such big boobs because her bashful gaze didn't fit with her body that would put Aphrodite to shame. Your favourite part of her tits however, besides the sheer size of them where her nipples. She had always felt embarassed about them and didn't like anyone seeing them. You vividly remembered the first time she felt comfortable showing them to and how it hard it was for you to jump at her and fuck her right then and there.

The thing that had her made feel so uncomfortable with her nipples was the fact that they were inverted. Two horizontal lines with her actual nipple barely peaking out. You knew how bad she felt about them so you always ensured to make her feel extremely good about that particular part of herself (not that you'd ever leave her not thoroughly fucked and worshipped, what kind of girlfriend would you be if you wouldn't).

You leaned down and took one of her nipples into your mouth and began to suck on it while twisting the other one with your fingers. Luckily for her, her nipples were easily pulled out and luckily for you, it made her all the more sensitive. It made you remember one instance where you made her squirt just from playing with her breasts.

Kiyoko moaned and threw her head back as one of her nipples popped out and you switched, beginning to work on the other while your hand began to massage her perky boob. It made you wish to be able to draw just so you could create a hentai book featuring your erotic girlfriend and you as the main character.

"You're such a beautiful little angel. So wanton for all the things I can offer you. Not that I am complaining at all, you're quite frankly the most alluring thing that has ever been created. I don't often praise God but they really outdid themselves when they created you."

Kiyoko whimpered and arched her back to press her nipples a little closer to you and who were you really to complain. Her hips trashed as you began to litter her chest with lovebites and she let out a scream when you used your teeth to pull on one of her nipples. Suddenly her movement stilled and you knew exactly what that meant.

You gently let her sink back down, she already looked so fucked, before diverting your attention to her crotch, pushing uper her dress in the process. Where it had clung to her pussy, the dress was wet with her cum. It was nothing to be compared to her panties and pantyhose however, which where completly soaked and had become even more translucent than before and clung onto her cunt. Kiyoko must have shaved herself earlier today because it was just fabric against milky white skin. Maybe she had hoped for sex today.

You could feel yourself getting aroused at the thought of Kiyoko silently hoping for some action, or maybe she was perspetive enough when she showed of her outfit yesterday and could feel your lustful gaze on her. In any way, it was a hot thought.

While your girlfriend was still coming down from her high (you wondered if you made her squirt again and just hadn't seen it), you were by no means lazy and began to prep her for your next idea. You definitely wanted to see her face today, see the make up running down her cheeks when she was sobbing from pleasure and just get access to her wonderful breasts.

You thought about getting your leg spreader out but just prompted for getting some silky robe and tying them around her ankles and bedposts so that she couldn't close them again. You leaned over and grabbed a pillow to move under hips so you'd have an easier access to her cunnie.

Kiyoko had calmed by now, her breath coming out in longer huffs, curiously watching your every movement.

You grabbed her pantyhose, pulled it down and immediatly wished you could've recorded the sound it made. Your hand absent-mindedly searched for you trusty scissors again and cut through her panties so you could pull them off, which was harder than it sounded because they were clinging to her pussy so much.

Finally having acquired her underwear you met her gaze again. It was feverish and aroused. Her hands had found their way on her breasts as she weakly kneaded them.

"Open up angel", you said and you had never seen her mouth snap open that fast. You began to wring out her panties so her juices dribbled into her mouth and she could taste herself.

"Tongue out", she obeyed as well and moaned when pressed the crotch area of her panties against her tongue.

"Be a good little angel and clean them a bit will you?"

She didn't respond but was already using her hands to hold her panties to lick and suck at them. You watched in satsifcation before moving back down.

You contemplated about ripling her lantyhose right away but decided against it, pulling it back up, even higher than Kiyoko had so it was perfectly hugging her pussy.

You could perfectly see the outline of her pussy, her prominent little clit and the way her hole was already opened slightly, lusting for something to be inside of it. You wouldn't give her that satisfaction yet though.

Instead, you grabbed a massager and turned it on to focus on her clit first. When the toy touched her, Kiyoko choked and let out a scream. She was still sensitive from just having cum a few minutes prior and you gave her no warning, especially now that you had given her a task she was eager to complete. While Kiyoko was moaning and trashing around, which was now a lot harder that her leg movement had been restricted, you thought about which toy you wanted to use on her next. You knew exactly what she wanted last, the biggest toy you had with some ridges along the sides of it. It was big enough to brush against her cervix and even penetrate it a bit, which was a feeling you quickly learned Kiyoko couldn't get enough of. But she wasn't wet enough yet, she needed to be stretched a lot more before she could even think about taking it.

You prompted to go for a toy first specifically designed to pleasure a women's g spot. You also pulled out two small nipple stimulators you could just turn on and put on her without having to move them yourself. Those two toys combined as well as the clit stimulation should be enough to make her cum quickly a few times, just so she would wet enough for you to finally get to the main part. You always prided yourself in your patience but Kiyoko always rendered you useless.

You stopped the stimulation on her clit which made her whine out in protest. She had been close again.

The disappointment was quickly overridden with lust again as she felt something pinch and and suck on her nipples. She weakly lifted her head and shifted her focus from her saliva covered underwear to the toys you had bestowed on her. Kiyoko smiled in a giddy fashion, excited what you'd do next. She adjusted the stimulators and pressed them closer against her nipple.

You smirked at that. You always loved that point where Kiyoko let go of all her fears and insecurities, only chasing after her own pleasure.

You resumed your stimulation of her clit and readied the other small, curved toy, slowly pushing it inside of her, her ruined white pantyhose sticking around it, you didn't bother ripping it just yet, you were enjoying far to much how Kiyoko reacted to the nylon brushing against her sensitive parts. Maybe you should go online and see if you could get a bra made out of similar material.

Kiyoko shuddered as you searched for her g spot with the toy and when you finally found it, the grip around the nipple toy tightened and she let out a high pitched moan. You looked up to meet her gaze, pleased to see that her make up was already being ruined by her tears and the drool escaping her mouth. The halo still resting on her head completed the whole look in a wonderfully perverse fashion. Your hand twitched to take another photo of her face like that for your personal collection but you already had to many of them. Your favourite one was when Kiyoko had dressed up as maid for your birthday.

You doubled your effort and continued rubbing around her g spot while the other hand used the massager to press harder against her clit. You moved your head closer to her cunt, memorized by the way the nylon along with the toy was moving in and out of her, the white material barely looking white and more so translucent. Kiyoko wearing any form of pantyhose or stockings should be forbidden really, she just looked so effortlessly hot in them.

You could see her entrance tightening against the toy before she came, squirting all over your face. A tingling sensation shook through your body right into your core. Her cum felt warm on your face and she smelled good. Your ministrations only stopped momentarily to gather some of her cum that you couldn't reach with your mouth to lick it of. Then you continued, a lot rougher than before as her reactions were slowly dwindling away your self control. You wanted more of it, you were insatiable, Kiyoko was the only thing on your mind as you hungrily turned up the stimulation on her nipple and clit toy to the maximum.

Kiyoko was gone at point, just happily babbling nonsense while pressing the toys harder against her nipples. She was already so thoroughly fucked but she wanted more, she wanted her favourite thing, her favourite big dildo with the ridges in her far too tiny pussy, she wanted it to hit her cervix and split her in half.

She came four more times before you'd finally grant her wish. It was good that she had trained stamina and flexibility during her highschool days, everything was coming in handy now.

You removed the massager and g spot toy and when you moved up to the nipple stimulators, Kiyoko whined, hands trying to dive back after them, far to shaky to accomplish her goal so she just opted to immediatly go back to massaging her boobs with her hands.

You smiled at the adorable display, as much as Kiyoko hated her breasts, she couldn't deny that the feeling was absolutely amazing. You desperately hoped that maybe one day, when the two of you had finished university and would start your own family, she'd decide to become pregnant. The idea of her boobs being even bigger, swollen with milk and using a breast pump to release some of that tension seemed like something you would eagerly partake in, even though the way her normally hidden nipples were now fully erected were enough to be fuel for your wet dreams.

You watched her carefully as you brought out her favourite toy, the way her pupils dilated immediately, her legs thumping against the bed and her hands squeezing her breast just a tad bit to forceful.

"You know what to do my dirty little angel", you said and she nodded eagerly as you handed her the toy and she began licking it, covering it in her saliva. The way she nuzzled her head into the dildo and lapped it ferociously like it was an ice cream treat was almost comedic and adorable.

You smiled at her cute demeanor and began to rip her pantyhose, which had almost become a second skin over his pussy by now. Her scent hit you full force and you had to fight against the urge to start eating her out just to get that delicious taste of hers that you were addicted to. But you had to be strong.

Her cunt was puffy and swollen, still gaping, asking, beginning so sweetly to be filled. You leaned close to be able to smell her more and as your breath hit her pussy, she sharply and choked on the toy, her vagina clenching around nothing.

"I think you're ready my little angel", you murmured, stretching your head towards her so Kiyoko could hand you the the toy. She propped herself up on her elbows and watched impatiently how you teased her little whole with the big toy.

Then you began pushing inside her, slowly but steadily. Her hands gripped the sheets underneath her and she clenched her eyes shut, letting out an array of sweet moans that you were more than happy to hear them.

"You're taking my toy so well my slutty little angel. Its gonna fill you up so well my beloved. I know you're aching to be filled to the brim and don't worry, I will provide that for you", you murmured, the fingers of your other hand pinching her clit.

Kiyoko had gone back to toying with her breasts as she watched hazily how her greedy cunt swallowed more and more of the toy that shouldn't even be allowed to fit in the first place.

When the dildo was pushed about halfway in, you had to stop because her walls clenching up to cum again prevented you from going further. Kiyoko's body shook as she came undone for the seventh time this night. Maybe even eighth time, you were unsure since you weren't able to see the beginning very well.

She twitched when you began pushing into her again as soon as her walls allowed it.

"Already more than halfway done dear. You're doing so good great, taking me so well", you praised, relishing in the way her stomach slightly buldged from the blunt size forcing its way into her.

Kiyoko breathed heavily, her mind blank except a single thing, and that single thing was you.

When the dildo hit her cervix she let out a yelp. You gave her a few moments to adjust, rubbing comforting circles over her skin, from where the toy had entered way tracing its way up to her stomach, where you could feel the tip of it. She was completely bottomed out.

Kiyoko felt happy, the bubbly feeling making itself known through a satisfied smile on.

"Do you want me to start moving it my lovely?", you asked and she nodded weakly, her teary gaze focused your face for a second before snapping back down to watch the toy being pulled out and pushed back in. You pressed your unoccupied hand back onto her stomach, feeling immensely pleased that only you could fill her up like this.

"Faster please", she choked out and you complied enthusiastically.

The dildo was hitting every right spot for Kiyoko. A larger ridge kept scratching pleasantly against her g spot and she enjoyed the way she would feel when she clenched her walls around the little bumps. The toy shouldn't fit rationally, she knew that but through a mixture of you prepping her so well and her being more than willing to bear a little pain to get the reward of being filled to the brin made it fit. What she enjoyed most however, was the ridges hitting hitting the opening of her cervix which snugly welcomed the toy with a hug each time you pushed it in her to the hilt. It was teasing almost, telling her that if she just worked a little harder then maybe you two could get a toy that was even longer than the current one, one that could truly break into her womb and not just tease her with the thought of it.

Kiyoko could feel the very familiar feeling rising up in her stomach again, she would cum soon.

"Please", she sobbed, hand reaching out to yours, " so close. Faster harder please."

You grabbed her hand and intertwined your fingers with hers, other hand working to drill the toy in her exactly how your girlfriend wanted you to.

"Please" Kiyoko whined, her free hand coming to rest on her stomach, pushing down hard, "Give me a kiss, please, please, please-"

You leaned forward, and pressed a chaste kiss against her lips and pulled back the toy until only the tip was barely left inside before slamming into her, full force. Kiyoko screamed in ecstacy, her eyes rolling back in her head and her tongue sticking out, panting like a dog as she squirted for the third time tonight, painting the matching black leather outfit you had worn for your demon look in her cum.

You gently let Kiyoko's hand go to give her a moment of space. With the little power she had left she shakingly let it join her other hand, forming a heart right above her womb where the tip of the dildo had found its rightful place of being.

She was thoroughly fucked a happy smile on her face as she continued to stare into nothingness, still dazed from the intense orgasm she had.

You stood up from the bed and opened the door to your bathroom to let in the water in the tub. Kiyoko deserved a treat for how good she had been today. You loved that woman with all your hard.

When you came back into the bedroom, Kiyoko was still laying there, unmoving, though her breath had calmed significantly. You untied her legs first and then moved to pulling down her ruined pantyhose, rubbing her slightly red ankles she had gotten from pulling at the restraints. Afterwards, you continued by untying the knot on her neck that held her dress together and carefully pulled it over her head, tossing it to the side.

"Come on my lovely, you know I love the sight just as much as I do but you really need to wash up."

Kiyoko huffed in annoyance but nodded and allowed you to slowly pull out the toy. She always wanted you to do that last. The first time you two had tried it out, she had been fussy the next day, saying that she didn't want to loose the sensation so quickly. Her pussy was red from all the overstimulation and angrily clenched around nothing.

"Can you wrap your arms around my neck beloved?"

Kiyoko nodded and did as you asked, arms clinging to your neck.

"I feel empty", she slurred, "Want you to fill me again."

You chukled. "I think you had enough for today Miss "I-will-indulge-you-for-today"."

"Want something bigger the next time. Need it longer. Doesn't give the same satisfaction anymore."

You gulped. How had you gotten so lucky? A beautiful woman that wanted to be your girlfriend for reasons you couldn't understand, who you could take on planetarium dates and go to cute cafes with but also overstimulate at night with a big fat dildo? Maybe she really was an angel because she surely felt heaven send to you.

"We can look online if we can find something. Or go the store", you said, gently setting her down into the tub, turning off the water. She shivered.

"Yes please. Not girthier just longer. Also proper Shibari ropes. Want to try being tied up completely", Kiyoko explained, relaxing in the water.

You hummed and smiled.

"How have I gotten so lucky with such an adorable girlfriend? I feel so blessed", you commented, kissing her cheek.

She smiled wobbly up at you, there was that shy smile again that she always got on her face after making a request after the two of you had sex. That and after making out where the only two instances she felt not too embarassed admitting to her sexual desires.

She had always had strict parents and that combined with her insecurities left a stressed and repressed Kiyoko that needed to be eased into everything before feeling comfortable enough to suggest things herself. But you helped her to slowly figure herself out and understand what the things she liked were. Being split in half by a big dildo and having her nipples getting sucked on were the two main things she really enjoyed but being tied up was definitely up there.

In return she indulged you as well. She wore pantyhose and stockings a lot more often since the relationship had started years ago because she knew how much you loved how she looked in them. Or your obsession with her breasts and panties, the first one she secretly obsessed over as well and the second one mostly meaning that you wanted her to taste herself (sometimes, when she had to go somewhere for a few days, she would leave a pair of used for you just so you had something to masturbate to).

Kiyoko had always felt pressured by the people around her, comparing her to a goddess and worshipping the ground she walked on but... it was different with you. You didn't want her to be perfect. You wanted her to let herself go, be loud, be messy, be herself, unabashedly.

"Since its a special occasion I got you this", you said triumphantly, pulling out a small, batshaped bath bomb, "its supposed to smell like pumpkin!"

Kiyoko smiled. Another thing she loved about you. You were just as much yourself as you excepted her to be herself.

"Wouldn't a pumpkin have been the better shape to choose then?", she asked as she took the bath bomb, watching as it began to dissolve in the water.

You blinked before nodding. "You're so right my love. Maybe they wanted some variety."

"Maybe", Kiyoko hummed, moving a hand in the water to disperse and spread the bath bomb more. It was various shades of dark purple and dark blue hues.

"Okay imma clean up our bed discard your... clothes that didn't make it and put the ones that survived in the laundry. Then I will come back and wash your hair okay?"

Kiyoko merely nodded and watched you leave from the corner of her eye. She sank down deeper into the water, her hair floating on the surface. It sort of reminded her of seaweed like that.

Her body ached. She wasn't sure if she was able to walk the next day. She definitely wasn't able to now. Kiyoko looked down at her breasts. Her nipples had returned to their normal look and she sighed. She felt less insecure with you around but there was still a tiny voice in her head that told her how ugly it was. It was comforting, the way you had covered her breasts in love bites. You knew she was lacking confident, so you always made sure to pay special attention to them.

Kiyoko was pulled out of her thoughts when you came stumbling back into the bathroom trying to balance the used sheets before dumping them in the laundry basket. Then you left again, only to back seconds later, carrying the toys you had used on her and putting them into the sink.

She flushed a bit but didn't look away as you got out some mild soap and a wash cloth to begin cleaning them.

"Does it smell like pumpkin?"

"Sort of. Not natural pumpkin. More so... an artificial smell."

"I see", you hummed, scrubbing away at the dildo, "at least the colours fit you. I brought it when I was getting that one hair mask I was telling you about. The colours reminded me of you. Dark mysterious alluring. And it fit the season of course."

"You make it sound like you planned all this", Kiyoko giggled, softly. You were casualtity. "Hey says the woman who must have shaved this morning", you fake gasped, pointing the dildo at her, "You were totally hoping for this as well. You always play so hard to get."

"You got me. I did." You smiled, setting the last toy down into the sink, you'd just put them away later, and moved to sit behind her.

"Come on then my Aphrodite, let me wash thy hair. Would be a great time to try out that new hair mask I talked about."

Your fingers ran through her hair, softly massaging in first the shampoo before rinsing it out then moving onto the conditioner and rising that out as well.

"The hair mask has to stay in a little longer. But it smells like vanilla which is nice."

Kiyoko hummed and leaned her back against the wall of the tub to be closer to you. You moved her hair a bit before stopping and laughing out loud.

"Shimizu it looks like you have one of those gelled spiked hair styles like that."

Her reflection in the faucet looked ridiculous, causing her to roll her eyes.

"Please never become a punk. Actually do that if you want to. I support you. Oh though could you actually become a goth? Then I could call you my big tiddie goth girlfriend. Everyone would be even more jealous than they already are, you know with me dating one of the smartest girls in our university?"

Kiyoko liked listening to you ramble. She liked the tone of your voice as you went on and on about nothing. The first time she had asked you to continue talking after you had stopped, thinking that she was disinterested, you had bursted out in tears because no one had ever told you to continue talking.

After you had rinsed her hair out for a final time, she fully sat up to lean her head against your lap.

"I'm tired", she said, stifling a yawn. "No wonder", you responded, fingers tracing over her face, the shape of her eyebrows, nose, eyes and mouth, tapping her mole softly, "Today must have been exhausting for you. Come on lemme help you dry yourself off and get you your nightgown-"

"I don't want my nightgown", she said, yawning again, "Just give me a pair of panties and one of your shirts. I want to smell like you."

God, those innocent words hit you hard.

“Ah yeah. Of course. My clothes. The clothes that belong to me. Yeah just... gimme a second.”

She watched as you scrambled out of the door, but not before grabbing the toys to put them away, shoulder hitting against the doorframe and snorted. You were a dork. How could you act all sexy and hot in one moment and then like a fumbling idiot in the next?

Kiyoko lifted herself out of the tub carefully, pulling the plug so the water could flow down the drain. Her legs were still shaky, she definitely wouldn't be able to walk tomorrow. She grabbed a towel and began to dry herself off. She would have to wait for you to return so she could comb her hair because the comb was on the opposite way of the room and she didn't exactly felt like crawling to it.

“Okay got you some clothes my love.”

“Thank you dear. Could you grab me my comb? I can't exactly... walk.”

Your face flushed and nodded, grabbing the item and handing it to her. It reminded you of a nymph, the way she was sitting on the edge of the bath tub, brushing her hair, not yet having put your clothes on. It was a testament of her trust in you, that she showed her body to you so casually, a body that she didn't really like and it made your heart swell with love.

“You were right. The hair masks makes your hair feel really soft. And it smells nice. Feel it”, she said and you moved closer, the sweet vanilla aroma drifting into your nose.

You smiled. “Glad I was able to assist milady. Do you need help pulling up your panties?”

She nodded and you held her waist, her legs trembling as she pulled them up. It was still a mind blowing concept to you, that you did this. Well not because of you necessarily, that was the dildos work but... it was something you did. Kiyoko sat back down to slip the shirt on, far too big for her petite body.

You grabbed some cleansing agent and spread it in the tub before using the shower head to wash it down.

“Come on my gallant knight in shining armor. Let your mighty steed carry you to bed.”

She giggled again, it was your favorite sound in the entire world and wrapped her arms around your neck. Kiyoko turned off the light with her dangling foot so you didn't have to worry about it. You set her on the bed where she got the blanket ready for the two of you while you changed into a shirt and a pair of boxer shorts.

The bed creaked when you joined her, laying on your side, facing her. Now you had to yawn as well. She smiled and cupped your cheeks, kissing you sensually, inherently soft and filled with love.

Kiyoko cuddled close, tucking her head under your chin and intertwining your legs together.

“I love you Shimizu Kiyoko.”

“I love you too [Name] [Last Name].”

And the two of you really did with all your hearts.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #Shimizu Kiyoko #kiyoko x reader #shimizu kiyoko x reader #kiyoko x y/n #kiyoko fluff #kiyoko drabble #hq kiyoko #kiyoko smut #kiyoko shimizu #kiyoko supremacy

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readerinsertfanfiction · 3 years

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Nemo darling! ❤❤❤🥺 hehehe thats height tag is so cursed, freaken exposing how much taller i am than all my best boys //pouts🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 hehehe so here im to spam my favorite cutie❤❤🌈 could i pretty please with sprinkles ontop request a Hc with ma best bois (Theodorkus, Napoleon, Kenshin, annnnd Yuki❤❤❤) reacting to one tall bean s/o🥺❤❤🌻😆 here is some inspiration for ya 😆😳😳😳

This damn cursed chart! Why can these bois eat more candy to grow big and stong 😆😂😂😂

Hehehe love you lots nemo dear❤❤❤🥺🥺 hope ya getting plenty of sleep and eating all the candy❤❤❤😳

Can’t relate. I never have to worry about someone being shorter than me. 🤩🤩🤩 No, I’m not gonna share my chart with Tumblr.

Donate some height to the ones in need? 🤪🤪🤪

Also, Zeta-dearest, Theodorkus already got HC’s versus a tall!MC, remember? Though that has been almost a year ago, so ... 🤪🤪🤪

(I also gave him some extra attention to make up for bullying you so much last night, love ya Zeta-darling! 💖💖💖)

Fandom: Ikemen Vampire & Ikemen Sengoku

Characters: Theodorus van Gogh, Napoleon Bonaparte, Yukimura Sanada & Kenshin Uesugi

The modern age came with many advancements that improved life and with that improvement came gradual changes. Most notably the average height. While short people still existed you were not to be counted amongst them. You were an outlier of a different kind, being taller than most and much to your dismay that meant travelling back into time made you stick out even more.

Theodorus

“Hey vuurtoren.”

The unflattering nickname came from a certain Dutch. Where most of Theo’s nicknames were usually small and somewhat cute he was an absolute nightmare to you, sparing no chance whatsoever to remind you of your height with the starkest names.

“Yes, you bonenstaak!” Theo called as he approached you.

Rolling your eyes you didn’t want to give into Theo’s creative naming, continuing to stride away as you heard his step quicken.

“Hey, I was calling you!” the man grabs hold of your arm once he catches up, pulling you to a halt as he eyes you up, a frown on his face signifying that he very much knew what you were playing at, “seems like some—“

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you all the way down there,” you respond airily, confounding the man who stares at you first in surprise and then with a deepening frown.

“What did you—“

“Better take some distance, little one. I might trip over you,” you continue to interrupt the guy as you pat the top of his head. Two could play the game.

“Also, looking sorta out of breath, did you run to keep up?”

The smile you flashed at him coloured him a fine red as the man was thinking on how to get back at you the next round.

Napoleon

The little general, as he was lovingly nicknamed by his troops, was used to being surrounded by people taller than him. After all, the nickname did suggest his fair share of neck craning and the man knew himself to average in height and tall enough. You being the same height as him didn’t even cross him as strange.

“Snnrk,” the snort escaped the man as he listened to you putting Theo back in his spot. It was no secret that you had your fair share of retorts, proud of the height you had reached and knowing that it came from a place of envy from the other. That didn’t mean that it didn’t amuse him however.

“Don’t worry, you will always be my petite bouffon,” the man tells you jestingly.

Kenshin

He had noticed how he had to lift his eyes up ever so slightly to meet your eyes. It was a fact that did not escape him, nor did Kenshin miss out on the fact that your shoulder was positioned just a little higher than his as well. Yet, it didn’t bother him, not even in the least.

“Extra fabric? What happened to the ordered piece?” Kenshin’s eyes narrowed at the maid when he was informed that your present had to be patched up with an extra row of fabric, for they had not measured it well and made it too short.

“The measurements were clear and so were the instructions. Remake the kimono, I’m not going to gift a patchwork because of your inability to adjust.”

At times Kenshin reminded the whole castle that it was not just his sword that he kept sharp and that size and height did not matter when one carried an air such as his. The room was too small anyway when one managed to annoy the warlord, especially when it came down to you.

Yukimura

“What’s going on?”

Yukimura appeared from behind you as he arched his neck to look over your shoulder. The crowd was quite thick and the shoulders bumped into each other, it had been an honest unconscious reaction, but one that earned a wide blush on his face.

“Oh geez, step aside,” the male bristles instead, a frown on his face as he shoves himself between you and the crowd, effectively pressing you against his chest when he finally got a more comfortable space to watch from.

“For someone as tall as you, you certainly are clueless on how to protect yourself,” he tells you. The warlord would never admit how your height made him a little self-conscious of himself, leading to a need for compensation, silly as they are.

#ikevamp theo #ikevamp napoleon #ikesen yukimura #ikesen kenshin #ikevam theo #ikevam napoleon #ikemen vampire #ikemen sengoku #ikemen vampire theo #ikemen vampire napoleon #ikemen sengoku yukimura #ikemen sengoku kenshin

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dragonologist-phd · 3 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age (Video Games) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Female Cousland/Anora Mac Tir Characters: Anora Mac Tir, Female Cousland (Dragon Age) Additional Tags: Gay yearning, thats it just a lot of gay yearning, I'm Sorry, pre-game Summary:

Anora Mac Tir knows what she wants- she wants to marry Cailan and become the greatest Queen Ferelden has ever known. But on the eve of her wedding, a visit from Sirena Cousland reminds her that there might be other she wants, as well.

(Alternatively, read below!)

It was the night before Anora was to be married, and try as she might she simply couldn’t get a wink of sleep.

Of course she couldn’t. How could anyone expect her to, with such a momentous event looming on the horizon? She’d known her entire life that she was meant to one day become Queen of Ferelden; tomorrow, with her marriage into the Therein family, that destiny would become official. And while any wedding had its share of preparations, the marriage of a future king and queen required a good deal more than a gown and a recitation of vows before a Chantry mother. There were public appearances to be made in front of the Denerim crowds, long speeches to be delivered beneath the Chantry roof, and of course a reception to be held for the visiting nobility who were traveling from all across the country to witness the union.

Anora had never been one to sit back and let others make arrangements in her stead; she had been involved in every step of the preparations, and had poured hours of effort into ensuring that everything would go exactly according to plan. Truth be told, she would be quite relieved when the whole thing was over and done with- the trappings of the wedding were important, a vital part of the image she and Cailan needed to display to the country, but Anora was long ready to turn her attentions to something a bit more stimulating.

She would have the freedom soon enough, she kept reminding herself. She just needed to get through the coming day. And although she knew a proper night’s sleep would help with that, that logic didn’t help as her mind continued to circle over the details she had so carefully planned out for her future.

The restless energy buzzed through Anora like a gnat she couldn’t swat away, filling her with the need to do… something. At last she threw her sheets to the side and rose from her bed, abandoning the pretense of peaceful slumber. What she needed was to move, to occupy herself, to do anything other than sit still and wait for morning. At the very least she could wander the palace gardens- perhaps the fresh air would be enough to free her mind until fatigue finally caught up with her.

As she pulled a warm woolen cloak over her shoulders, Anora told herself she wouldn’t be long. The last thing she wanted was for someone to come across her like this, with undone hair and tired eyes; or worse, for someone drop by her empty room and think her missing.

But as she stepped outside Anora was greeted by a gust of refreshingly chilled wind, and the night sky above was clear and full of stars, and for the first time that day she felt some of the tension leave her body. Even as the hour grew later and later, Anora found herself lingering, her thoughts drifting as she strolled aimlessly along the dirt paths. Perhaps there was no need to rush, after all. She’d memorized the guard’s schedules long ago, and knew how to avoid them; no servants had any business in the gardens this late; any nobles still awake were probably deep in their cups, just as Cailan likely was.

Just as Anora had convinced herself that her solitude was complete, however, a voice rang out across the gardens.

“Anora? What in the world are you doing out here?”

The sudden voice made Anora jump, and she heaved a sigh of annoyance as she realized she’d been spotted. The annoyance fled, however, once she realized who it was that had done the spotting.

“Lady Sirena? Is that you?”

A closer look revealed that it was indeed the Lady Sirena Cousland, who for some reason was perched on a garden wall, one leg hanging carelessly off the side. She laughed and leapt from the wall, heading towards Anora with a grin. “Oh please, don’t lead with the Lady. If you do, I’ll have to call you ‘soon-to-be Future Queen Anora of Ferelden’, and as lovely a title as that is, it’s quite a mouthful.”

Anora fought back a smile. Nobody else would ever speak to her in such a way, but this was Sirena- always ready with a teasing response, hardly worried about any offense she might cause. The Couslands ruled over Highever, and were, along with the Mac Tirs, one of the most respected noble families of Ferelden. That reputation, coupled with Sirena’s disarming smile and easy temperament, was a perfect recipe for the effortless confidence that constantly radiated from the youngest Cousland child.

That disarming smile was now turned upon Anora in full force as Sirena asked, “Really, what are you doing out here?” She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me I’m interrupting a clandestine meeting under the moonlight? And on the eve of your own wedding?”

A huff of laughter escaped Anora’s lips even as she rolled her eyes. “Oh, banish the thought. I was just thinking how pleased I was to see you, and now you’re making me change my mind.”

Sirena just laughed again and wrapped an arm around Anora’s shoulders, pulling her close for a hug. Her long dark hair smelled of rain, and she wore a thick fur cloak over plain traveling clothes; she must have arrived very recently.

“How was the journey from Highever?”

“Too long, as always,” Sirena answered with a shrug. “But you don’t want to hear about a boring carriage trip through the rain and mud. How are you? I am genuinely curious as to what brings out so late on this of all nights.”

Anora waved a dismissive hand in the air. “It’s not that late. And I couldn’t sleep.”

“Too excited?”

“Too preoccupied, rather. There’s so much to think about for tomorrow. Every time I close my eyes, I remember yet another detail that I want to check up on.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Sirena said. “But don’t you have people to do that sort of work for you?”

“Of course I do,” Anora admitted. “But if you want something done correctly…”

“Do it yourself,” Sirena finished. “You’ve been living that motto since we were children.”

“And it’s still true,” Anora pointed out wryly. “Anyway, I could ask the same question of you. How did you end up out here instead of in our rather lovely guest chambers?”

Sirena shrugged and looked back in the direction she’d come from, her gaze traveling over the garden, toward the training ground, beyond the towers that looked over the Denerim marketplace. “Oh, traveling always leaves me nostalgic. I was just wandering around, revisiting a few spots before they’re filled up with people tomorrow.”

Anora could guess as to which memories Sirena was reliving. They had both spent many days at the Denerim palace, watching their parents go about the duties of nobility, knowing that someday they would take their places.

That knowledge had been with Anora for as long as she could remember; her entire life, she reflected, was a preparation for rulership, and it had always been a perfect fit. Even as a child, Anora had loved listening in on the courtly proceedings and hearings, things that bored Cailan to tears as he dutifully followed her lead. In sharp contrast, the silly games and childish play of the other children had always seemed, to Anora, to all be horribly dull.

But even at a young age, Sirena was hard to miss. Always something of a troublemaker, she was direct and honest and said things as they were without layers of political machinations. Her friendship with Anora was something of a mystery, even to Anora herself. But she had to admit there was something about Sirena’s easy confidence and strangely insightful remarks that managed to hold Anora’s interest where few others could.

“It’s been too long since you’ve visited,” Anora remarked, and Sirena’s focus shifted from the palace grounds back to Anora. Her dark eyes were, for a moment, unexpectedly thoughtful. But only for a moment- they quickly brightened again as Sirena gave Anora a warm smile.

“It really has, hasn’t it? We should catch up. And you obviously need to relax a little.” Her grin took on a mischievous edge. “And I have just the thing for that.”

“I need to sleep, not drink myself into a stupor.”

Sirena gave a bark of laughter as she poured the liquor into two glasses and held one out to Anora. “Cailan and his buddies are getting good and drunk out in the courtyard as we speak. Why should they get all the fun?”

The two women were back in Anora’s quarters, having quietly returned after making a quick detour in the kitchens to pilfer a bottle of spirits. Sirena now sat cross-legged on Anora’s carpet, the very picture of temptation as she waggled the glass in her hand towards Anora.

Anora simply rolled her eyes. “You’re relentless.” And yet despite the scoffing she sat down anyway, gathering her skirts around knees, and graciously took the glass. Sirena had chosen a strong liquor, one of the more expensive selections from the wine cellar; today, the choice seemed appropriate. “But I suppose I can’t refuse a toast on the eve of my wedding.”

“Exactly.” Sirena turned her attention to her own glass, carefully measuring out the drink before holding it aloft. “To the bride, and future Queen of Ferelden.”

Anora brought her glass to meet Sirena’s with a soft clink, and then swiftly lifted it to her lips and swallowed the entire drink in one quick gulp.

Sirena downed her drink as well, then laughed in delight. “That’s the spirit I was looking for! I must say, I’m impressed.”

“Don’t tell me this comes as a surprise,” Anora said with a smirk. “Handling one’s drink is a requisite of Ferelden nobility.”

“Ah, yes, I almost forgot. They fit that right between the lessons on Andrastian recitations and history of the Fereldan Rebellion.

With a grin, Anora held out her glass for more liquor, and Sirena happily obliged. As they drank they fell into conversation, a simple rhythm of chatting and drinking between two longtime friends. It was, Anora had to admit, a situation that she was not particularly accustomed to. Cailan was the one who happily entertained others for hours on end, the one who brought about conversation and laughter. Anora was the one who already was known as serious, severe, domineering. This reputation rarely bothered her- it was a good reputation for a future queen to have.

But simply being a woman chatting amicably with pleasant company was nice, too.

“Tired yet?” Sirena asked eventually. She gave Anora a look that was half-joking, half-sincere. “You can tell me to leave whenever I start to get annoying. Believe me, you wouldn’t be the first to kick me out of a room.”

“No, no, stay,” Anora assured her. “If you begin to annoy me, I will certainly let you know.” She giggled- an effect of the drink, of course, for under normal circumstances Anora was most certainly not a giggler. “Believe me, you wouldn’t be the first I’ve kicked out of a room. I’m not exactly known for my gentle disposition, am I?”

“Oh, please,” Sirena said, rolling her eyes as she poured another glass. “Who needs a gentle disposition?”

“My thoughts exactly,” Anora agreed. “Better that they think my too hard than think they control me. I decided that a long time ago.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Sirena said, raising her cup. She was quiet for a moment then, and Anora thought she may be dozing off. But although her eyes held a distant look, they did not close, and eventually Sirena said, “Anyone who would try to control you is an idiot, by the way. You’re smarter than everyone in this castle combined. They should just…get out of your way and let you work your miracles.”

Anora smiled, surprised to feel heat rushing to her cheeks at the compliments. She blamed the drink for that, as well; she knew her own worth and was hardly unaccustomed to recognition. A simple compliment from Sirena Cousland shouldn’t have such an effect on its own. She looked away, hoping the redness in her face wasn’t obvious to the other woman. “Thank you.”

“And you’re going to make a marvelous queen!” Sirena continued. “Ferelden is lucky to have you. I mean that, truly. Nobody else could do a better job.”

“Well, I should hope not,” Anora said. “I have been preparing for this my entire life, you know.” She sighed, tilting her head back as she thought of all the work she had put forth, and all that lay ahead of her.

Lost in her thoughts, she almost missed the next words spoken quietly by Sirena. “Cailan is lucky, too.”

Anora blinked, startled by the apparent change in subject. Recovering quickly, she gave a thin smile. “Ah, yes. I’m certain he’s thanking the stars that he will have someone to handle the details of his future rule. He’s wonderful with people, of course, but try to talk to him about economics or resource distribution and he’s completely lost.”

“That’s true enough,” Sirena agreed, pushing back a long lock of hair from her face. “Although I did mean something more along the lines of…” She paused, and seemed to fumble for words for a moment. “He’s lucky to be marrying someone he’s actually fond of.”

“Oh.” Anora wanted to say more, but she didn’t quite know how to respond to that. It felt such an odd subject to bring up- but her wedding was tomorrow, after all. Perhaps it was a natural point of conversation, after all.

“Not to pry, of course,” Sirena said quickly, noticing Anora’s hesitation. She paused, chewing on her lip for short moment as she regarded Anora with curious, measuring eyes. “I mean, you are fond of each other, aren’t you?”

“Of course,” Anora said at once. Realizing her reply came a tad too quickly, she sighed and leaned back against the wall, resting her head against the cool stone. “I’m certain you’ve heard me complain about him, and he can be quite the fool at times. But he has his talents, and he loves Ferelden, and he knows better than to try and order me about. We make a good team, he and I. We know each other, our strengths and weaknesses. As far as arrangements go, it could have been far worse.”

Sirena nodded, turning over Anora’s words in silence. She shifted her position until she, too, was leaning against the wall, close enough that their shoulders brushed against each other. “Do you think you could grow to love him at all?”

This time, the question did not take Anora by surprise; in fact, it was something she had often asked herself. “I don’t know,” she said truthfully. “But I hardly think that’s the most important thing in marriage. Especially between rulers.”

That earned her a chuckle from Sirena. “You’ve always been a pragmatic one.” Anora frowned, and Sirena gave her an apologetic smile before she playfully bumped her shoulder with her own. “And right, of course, I know you are. I only hope I’m that lucky if I ever get married.”

Anora was so relieved by the lack of judgement from Sirena that she nearly missed the implication in her words. Almost. Her brow furrowed, and she gave Sirena a questioning look. “If? Certainly you have your pick of suitors.” It only made sense- the Couslands were a family of wealth and renown, and Sirena herself was certainly not lacking in beauty. More than that, she was intelligent and skilled with a blade and easy to speak with; any lord would be lucky to win her hand.

But Sirena only shrugged, a playfully crooked smile on her lips. “Oh, there are plenty of men sniffing around for a chance at marrying into the Couslands. Some are even somewhat tolerable. But…”

“But none quite meet your standards?” Anora finished. Her tone was teasing, but she knew the feeling well enough. After all, if she hadn’t been promised to the future king at such a young age, she would probably have found herself in a very similar situation.

“They’re fine enough. Fine enough for flirting and dancing with at parties. But fine enough isn’t something I went to settle for in the long run.” Sirena sighed and looked down, tracing her finger around the rim of her glass. “It’s just that I grew up watching my parents, never realizing what a rare thing they had. They’re so in love that people have written songs about them. That sort of thing doesn’t happen often. Not when marriage is something for duty and politics and…”

“And pragmatism?” Anora asked pointedly, and Sirena gave her another apologetic grin.

“No offense. Like I said, you have the right of it. Eventually I shall likely choose someone, and I’m sure it won’t be as bad as I’m making it out to be. I know my parents would never marry me off to someone I dislike.” Her eyes flicked up to Anora’s face. “I just don’t think the odds of marrying for love are very high.”

Sirena’s voice was low and sorrowful, a startling change from her usual light tone. Without thinking, Anora reached out and put her hand over Sirena’s. “You never know. The future may surprise you.”

Sirena seemed startled at the contact, and Anora wondered for a moment if she was being too forward. But she didn’t pull away, and neither did Sirena- in fact, the other woman shifted her fingers, securing the grip. They stayed that way for a long moment, until at last Sirena recovered herself enough to straighten her shoulders and give Anora a bright smile. “I don’t know about that. But we’ll see.”

Something unfinished still lingered in her words, but for now she at least seemed comforted by Anora’s presence. Anora knew she wasn’t the most comforting sort of person, even at the best of times, but she was happy that she seemed to be doing some good. She gave a firm nod and continued, “And should you never get married, you would be just as well off. If I had been born to royalty on my own, well…as I said, Cailan and I make a good team. But he needs me far more than I need him.” Anora felt a small twinge of guilt saying that out loud, but it was true, and they both knew it, and saying it made Sirena laugh.

“You’ll hear no dispute from me,” she said. “In any case, I have far more exciting things to look forward to than marriage.” She stopped suddenly, and closed her eyes in apparent embarrassment. “Which is probably not what I should say to someone about to get married, is it? We’re supposed to be celebrating you, and I’ve gone and turned it bleak!”

“Oh, please,” Anora said with a laugh of her own. “I believe I’ve made my position on the whole situation rather clear. And I’m interested in hearing more of these grand plans of yours.”

Sirena still looked sheepish, but she obliged. “Well, Fergus will inherit rule of Highever. First-born gets all the perks. But I’ll still be around to assist. I’ll likely take command of our troops.” A small smile crept onto her face. “That’s something I’d be good at. I’d have them all whipped into shape in no time.”

“And if a lord swept you off your feet, you’d have an entire arling of your own to whip into shape. Troops and all,” Anora pointed out. Sirena looked unconvinced, and on impulse Anora added, “Or you could always come here to Denerim. Become a staple of the court. We certainly have plenty of troops that need the help. And I wouldn’t mind having a…”

Anora stumbled over the word friend. Even under the influence of the drink, it was difficult to let something like that slip out so easily. Anora was not accustomed to having friends. She had Cailan, of course; she had her father; she had servants and fellow nobles whom she trusted to varying degrees. But her friendship with Sirena was something different from any of that.

“…a confidante,” she said finally, hoping Sirena hadn’t noticed her momentary conflict. She glanced at the woman from the corner of her eyes, and was satisfied to see that she looked pleased at the notion.

“A tempting offer, I admit,” Sirena said. A smirk played on her lips. “What would my duties as a confidante entail?”

That smirk made Anora oddly flustered, and she had to glance away before she could respond. “Oh…this sort of thing, really. Keeping me company. Listening to me complain. Suppling me with alcohol.” She smiled and raised her empty glass in the air as an example. “You’re doing a splendid job already.”

“And those are just a few of many talents,” Sirena laughed. “I’m honored by the offer. I’m sure there must be fierce competition.”

“Oh, certainly,” Anora agreed. “But most of the other competitors care less about me and more about the power I will wield. They simply want to be close to the Queen.” She grimaced. “Or the King. It’s difficult enough to reign him in without my own companions making eyes at him.”

“Their loss,” Sirena said definitively. “All of them. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend, and as…well, Cailan is an idiot and a fool if he even looks at another woman when he has you.”

Maker, Anora could feel herself blushing. She straightened her shoulders, trying desperately not to show her sudden nerves. “I admit, it’s a pleasant change of pace for someone to rush to my defense like this. I certainly tell Cailan the same often enough. Honestly, I would hardly mind if he could at least be discreet about it. But he never thinks of things in such a way. And it certainly doesn’t help that he’s found so many who are ever so eager to indulge him. I’d be thankful to have at least one woman around who’s not chasing after him.”

It was a jest, but the possibility was a heavy weight in Anora’s chest, and she would be lying if she said it didn’t lighten when Sirena wrinkled her nose in obvious distaste. “Cailan? Maker, no.” Her expression faded into something more contemplative as she looked at Anora. “If I’m to be honest…I was always chasing after someone else.”

That was unexpected- it took Anora a moment to process her words. That same heaviness was back, which made no sense; why should she care if Sirena was holding a torch for someone after all, so long as it was not Cailan? “That’s an unexpected revelation if I’ve ever heard one. What happened to never finding love?”

“Ah. That.” Sirena looked abashed and quickly shook her head. “It would never have worked out. Not with me. They’ve got other things in their life. Other people.”

“Not married, are they?” Anora inquired. She didn’t know why she was still pressing. She didn’t want to know about this person, didn’t want to know who it was Sirena was pining after. But she couldn’t stop the questions from coming.

Sirena was quiet for a moment, although her dark eyes never left Anora’s face. “Engaged, actually.”

Anora’s breath caught, and when she spoke the words were soft and quiet. “Engaged?”

“But only for one more night.”

There was soft moment of realization, a quiet oh in the back of Anora’s mind, and before she could think better of it she whispered, “Then you still have time.”

And suddenly Sirena was kissing her. It was soft at first, uncertain, her lips barely hovering against Anora’s, but as Anora leaned in she became more confident and soon enough the kiss had deepened. Sirena brought a hand to Anora’s face, gently caressing her cheek, and Anora threaded her fingers through Sirena’s long hair as she pulled her even closer. It was like nothing Anora had ever experienced; this was no polite show of carefully cultured affection, no hesitant testing of what was expected of her. This was passionate and earnest and real.

Anora wanted more. She wanted to pull Sirena to her bed, to get even closer, to explore every inch of her body, to completely and utterly forget about everything else in the world-

And then it was over. Anora’s eyes fluttered open, and she realized Sirena and was hastily rising from the floor, muttering hurried, half-formed apologies. “I’m sorry- that was stupid of me- I didn’t intend-and tomorrow you’re-Maker, I’m sorry-”

Anora hurriedly stood as well, reaching out for Sirena as the woman was turning for the door. Her fingers brushed Sirena’s wrist, and although the touch was light Sirena froze in place.

“Sirena, I…”

Anora faltered. She was accustomed to knowing what to say. Knowing exactly what she wanted, and how to get it. But now…now she had no idea. She wanted to be the Queen Ferelden needed. She wanted to follow through on the promises she’d made. She wanted Sirena to stay. She wanted too many things, and those desire could not exist in the same space.

She couldn’t hold on to everything. And that wasn’t fair, not to her or Sirena. But it was the way things were.

“I’m sorry, too,” Anora whispered as she pulled back her hand. As she let Sirena go.

Sirena closed her eyes for moment, then nodded and left the room without another word. Anora numbly reached for the bottle she’d left behind and drained what little remained, trying to chase away the taste of Sirena’s lips. Then she went to bed, and once again she did not sleep.

Sirena almost didn’t show her face the next day.

But if she hid out all day she’d eventually have to explain why. So the next morning she dragged herself out of bed, threw cold water on her face, donned her formal attire, and watched Anora get married.

The ceremony passed in a blur, with the songs of the Chant and the words of endless speeches lulling the day into a hazy rhythm. The only moment that stood out was when Anora entered the Chantry. She walked in with her head held high, the picture of beauty and confidence draped in gold and ivory-white. Just looking at her sent a piercing pain through Sirena’s chest.

She was being ridiculous. Childish. Selfish. Sirena cared about Anora, and she knew this was what she wanted, and she had no right to the longing and jealously that burned through her.

What had she been thinking last night? She’d done so well all these years, fighting back those feelings, telling herself it was a passing crush…and then last night it had all come crashing out. Maybe it was Anora’s suggestion to come to Denerim. The idea of seeing her every day, of being so close to her…all while she was married to Cailan.

Sirena wasn’t capable of such cruelty towards herself. But oh, she’d been tempted.

At least the slip in her defenses hadn’t ruined Anora’s wedding. She was still here, betraying not a single doubt or worry as she recited her vows with clarity before the Maker.

And that was a good thing, Sirena told herself throughout the ceremony. The only thing worse than Anora rejecting her advances would be Anora risking everything she had and everything she wanted over her. That was what Sirena told herself during procession back to the palace. That was what she told herself in the reception held in the ballroom for the new husband and wife, when drinks were had in honor of the happy new couple.

Someone thrust a glass of wine in her hand, and Sirena realized with a start she was being called upon to make a toast. She wavered for a moment, looking across the room and meeting Anora eye to eye.

For the first time that day, Sirena thought she caught a hint of something mournful through Anora’s well-practiced mask of assured certainty. She remembered Anora’s lips against hers, wanting, drawing her in closer. She remembered Anora’s hand on her wrist, silently pleading for something she couldn’t voice. She remembered those whispered words. I am sorry.

Sirena raised a glass and gave the room a smile, big and bright, just what they expected from the ostentatious Cousland girl. “To the bride and groom,” she said, her eyes never leaving Anora’s. “To your bright future. I know you will do amazing things for Ferelden, and it is my truest hope that this life brings you every happiness.”

Anora smiled at her- a small, sad smile that that spoke volumes more than any speech and utterly broke Sirena’s heart. It was there and gone in an instant, wiped away as the next person stood to make their toast. But every now and then her gaze would return to Sirena, and that smile would come back. Never for long. Never noticed by anybody else. But Sirena saw it, and she knew she would never forget it as long as she lived.

#dragon age #fanfic #anora mac tir #cousland #anora x cousland #dao #ch: sirena #this was gonna be one chapter in a larger fic but it morphed and demanded to be a fic of its own

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theuniversitychallengereview · 4 years

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UC 50.13 - Manchester vs Edinburgh

Generally speaking, there are two kinds of all-conquering sporting dynasties - those that seem fair, and those that don’t. In the second category we have the likes of Michael Schumacher at Ferrari in the early 2000s or Manchester City and Chelsea in modern football.

While there is undoubtedly a massive amount of sporting talent on show in each of those cases, there is something about the inevitability of their successes that makes them feel a bit unearned, be that by virtue of the vastly superior car the German had in at least three of his five consecutive championships, or the stinking piles of dirty money that has allowed Pep Guardiola to squander more than £400m on defenders in his tenure as City boss.

In the other category we have Michael Phelps, or Serena Williams and the Big Three in men’s tennis. They have exerted a vicious dominance over their sports, but without any seemingly unfair advantage over their peers, other than their sheer talent and determination (obviously they will have had various advantages that allowed them to reach the top in the first place, but I think professional sports is one of the few places where consistent greatness is truly reflective of who the greatest people are at a given thing).

This realisation, as to why I always resented Schumacher his relentless winning, while simultaneously being annoyed when someone other than Federer, Nadal or Djokovic (or Andy, of course, one of the only people to ever make me cry) won a Grand Slam (how dare they break the streak), only came to me today when thinking about the Manchester University Challenge team.

There’s just something that feels more organic, and therefore more impressive, about Federer making 34 consecutive Grand Slam quarter-finals than there is about the Golden State Warriors winning back to back NBA titles having signed MVP-calibre Kevin Durant off the back of the best season in NBA history (not sure how niche that reference will be to the readership here, but I already deleted a bit about him earlier on, and I’ve put a link to the story in so you’ll have to deal with it).

The Manchester Uni Challenge team of 2005-2013 fall somewhere in the middle of the two categories (so I guess there is, as with all things, another category that encompasses everything between two extremes). Those of you who have been reading this for a while (and I have no idea how many people will have stuck around even since last year) will have heard this spiel about the semi-final streak before (because I relish talking about it every time Manchester are on), but I’m going to go through it again because its a great story.

So, first of all, Manchester do have some obvious advantages over other teams competing to win University Challenge. For one, its pretty massive, with more than 40,000 students. This means its more likely for them to be able to put together a team who will make it onto the live recordings - and indeed there are only two teams (Durham and tonight’s opponents Edinburgh) who have made more appearances on the show in the Paxman Era.

However, between them Durham, Edinburgh, York and Warwick (the other two most appearing-est institutions) have fifteen semi-final appearances out of seventy five. Manchester alone have ten, with nine of them coming in a ten year period when they didn’t exit the tournament before that stage. This historic run saw them lift the trophy four times, tying with Magdalen College, Oxford for the all-time record.

The source of their sustained excellence can be attributed in part to the coaching of Stephen Pearson, a man known as the Sir Alex Ferguson of University Challenge (I really do recommend reading the linked article here). Under his tutelage, successive cohorts of students were able to create a dynasty this quiz had never seen before (and isn’t likely to see again). Thats one of the things which makes it seem fair, that the system he built allowed different sets of four students to repeat the same results.

Another is that it broke up the historic duopoly that University Challenge is famous for. Between 2008 and 2019, Manchester were the only non-Oxbridge side to win the competition, and it is the teams from Oxford and Cambridge who you can most easily level the ‘unfairness’ tag at, what with their combined ten entries a year (yes, yes, I know. If you combined the college teams you’d create a monster team and no one else would ever win (I think they would, but that’s beside the point) but that’s beside the point).

Manchester haven’t reached the semi-finals since the end of that run in 2013, but with back-to-back quarter-finals in the past two years they look to be on track for a return to the top (I’m going to look very silly after all this if they lose tonight, which you probably already know, reader).

I’d like to talk about Edinburgh too, my beloved Alma Mater who finally upgraded my degree after two years of appealing recently, but I’m conscious I’ve already spewed out a full article on my Manchester intro. I will say, however, that if Edinburgh win, there will be four Scottish Unis in the second round for the first time since ever (there are already there guaranteed for the first time since 1995).

Anyway, you’ll all be exhasuted if you’ve made it through all that, so I won’t bother with the rules; here’s your first starter for ten.

Edinburgh are introduced first, with Jeffcoat, who’s actually wearing some kind of tweed blazer rather than a coat, but I’ll let him off. Their mascot is possibly the best I’ve ever seen on the show - a framed photo of the moment Robbie Campbell Hewson won Edinbugh the title in 2019 (bottom right of below picture). They have a scottie dog too, but its the picture thats the real star.

Manchester have a pig in a hat (or possibly a scarf, or possibly something else entirely), but the main interest on their table is Jones-O’Brien, who has perhaps the first name I’ve ever seen to contain both a hyphen and an apostophe. Good job all round, there.

It is his captain, Spacey, who kicks things off in a luxuriant velvet jacket, with Jane Eyre. Manchester take a full set on the bonuses, and then another, racing off into a 50 point lead. Jones-O’Brien is whats known in the game as a leaner, and rotates his body 45 degrees towards Spacey each time Paxman reads out a question. It seems to be working though.

Jeffcoat, who has a pen stored in his blazer just incase he needs to do some working out, gets Edinburgh off the mark and shoots his teammates a wink for good measure. They zap a hat-trick out quickly too to halve the deficit.

No one gets the first picture starter, which is an arrow on a map to ‘Worthing’, and I’m not surprised - who the heck has even heard of Worthing let alone knows where it is on a map (offence to Worthing), but Manchester pick up the bonuses, which are more towns that have won Pier of the Year, as according to the National Piers Society, something I am extremely happy to hear exists but never wish to be a part of (I’m sure they wouldn’t want to write University Challenge blogs either).

Paxman laughs as Edinburgh’s Clarke gives an answer which suggests that a puffin makes a noise that sounds like the word puffin, and to be fair thats a pretty funny mental image (mental sound image?). The perfect bonus streak is over, though Manchester will manage a fourth set before they miss any five pointers. The music starter goes to Edinburgh, but they remain ten points adrift despite having been better on the buzzer, thanks to Manchester’s bonus-work.

Now, I’d actually been taking notes for once this week, but around this stage I got so caught up in the action that I quite literally was unable to pick my pen back up, so I’ll just go from memory (I know I could just slide the timer back on iPlayer, but I’m on a bit of a roll here and I don’t want to slow myself down).

Manchester went on a bit of a run at this point, opening up a lead that would probably be unassailable. By the time of the second picture round the gap was in three figures, so Edinburgh would purely be fighting for one of the high-scoring loser spots (tough first round draw for both teams this).

Jeffcoat jolted them out of their stupor with Degas (who I almost spelled as Degat. For some reason I can never spell painters names correctly. For years I though Titian was Tischen), but only a single bonus followed (though Clarke did pronounce Seurat impeccably, both as a wrong and right answer). Spacey hit back with O, but Manchester struggled for the second time tonight on science-y bonuses. They wouldn’t score another point, but they’d already won.

The two captains then guess the 8th and 2nd of December as the date of Jesus’ conception - the heat of the competition was getting to everyone - but Clarke makes up for it with Oak next time around, and Fricker comes up clutch with Flag on the next starter as well.

A full set of bonuses saw them reach 150, which would be enough to see them make the play-offs, but Winter negged on the next to drop them down to 145 (which would also have been enough, as it turned out, so I was getting too excited at the end). Clarke then got them another to put me at ease for the final few seconds.

Final Score: Edinburgh 155 - 200 Manchester

Another excellent, high-scoring game - probably the highlight of the series so far for me - and I’m very glad we’ll be seeing both sides again.

Phew, that was a long one. If you’ve made it this far (first of all, congratulations) then you might like the retro reviews I’m doing of the 2015/16 series of The Challenge over on my Patreon. To sign up for exclusive content, for as little as £1/month, you can follow this link.

Thanks for reading, see you next time out.

#university challenge #bbc2 #manchester #edinburgh #Jeremy Paxman

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amoveablejake · 4 years

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Jake Reviews, Subject One: My Green Jacket

Thats right, this week’s long form piece is about a jacket. Stay with me caller.

A little while ago my girlfriend suggested that I introduce a segment on the blog where I review an assortment of items and things that I enjoy. I’ve been sitting on this idea for a while trying to think what would earn its place as the first piece to be cast under the spotlight and well as autumn truly has hit now, I thought my green jacket would be a fitting choice.

Now, this green jacket. Lets be a bit more specific. It is a Swedish military jacket from the 60s/70s, and the one I own is actually a prototype for what would later be the real thing. The pockets on my jacket are placed slightly differently to the ‘real’ model and the buttons on mine were quickly changed once it was discovered that they rusted when exposed to the elements which is not ideal when you’re creating something for military issue. The jacket itself is a relatively long one coming down to my mid thigh (contain yourselves), it does indeed have those slightly rusted buttons (I’ll change that to aged, that sounds better) it also features a very high collar that I more often than not turn up, I know, I’m James Dean I can’t help it. It has a wide array of pockets on the outside, the back and on the inside, it is built to withstand all elements especially the wind, its green and it actually has arms that are long enough for me. In other words, its a dream and I can’t help but feel our union was written in the stars. Who would have guessed it, Swedish military clothes suppliers have finally found their target audience. Other than the army that is.

So, how did I stumble across this jacket I hear you ask. Well, a couple years ago when I was in Berlin, oh boy do I miss that city, one Sunday morning my comrades and I decided to walk to a local flea market. I should say that before we continue that flea market was quite something, in the shadow of a local football stadium it had a wide assortment of goods and if our hand luggage would have allowed we would have brought a great deal of it back with us alas, that was not to be. But I’m not too heartbroken because, spoiler alert, a certain little green jacket was waiting for me. In fact, it found me straight away. Immediately after walking into the flea market we stumbled across a military surplus store huddled under a gazebo which also extended to being inside the back of a van. A gazebo and a van, the clear signs of a great fashion establishment I know. Whilst my aforementioned fellow travelers tried on their own jackets they had found, I locked my eyes on a lovely little green number. And little is the operative word there because when I tried it on, I looked ridiculous. Well, I didn’t actually get a look at myself but my friends laughing informed me of what I needed to know but whilst I slipped off a crushed dream the owner of the shop (a la gazebo) said to me ‘hold on’ and disappeared into the van. Before I knew what was going on he was reappearing holding a new green jacket, at first I wasn’t sure what was happening, was he going to make me wear an even smaller one to laugh at. Happily not, as he passed this jacket to me he said ‘bigger’ and this immediately made my day. I knew this was going to fit perfectly and I won’t toy with you here, it absolutely did.

Now, obviously here we would expect a twist. And that twist should be the price, after this wondrous salesman found me the perfect jacket and from the hidden depths of the van no less, I was sure he was going to slap a hefty price tag on it. And I was, well, I was wrong. He sold it to me for five euros. A modest sum that he said was because it was a prototype which needless to say made it all the more sweeter for me. I should mention here that my lovely relationship with this man was slightly soured when as I was leaving I spotted that he was also selling Sainsbury’s jackets. I pointed to them and laughed as they were in the military section. He then looked me up and down, zeroing in as I’m sure he knew the game was up and insisted they were military. Fearful that he would take my lovely new buy back I slipped on the jacket and quickly made my departure. I didn’t need to argue with him. I knew they were Sainsbury’s jackets. They were the right colour, the right cut and perhaps most importantly some would say, they had Sainsbury’s emblazoned on the back. Whose to say who was right.

Even though the rest of the trip in Berlin was unseasonably warm, I couldn’t help but keep the jacket on. Yes, I may have been slightly warm however, it felt perfect to wear it around the city and when we were walking around Berlin at night and I watched my compatriots shivering, well who was laughing then (I can’t leave it like that, we were all laughing, all the time, except for when one of them took a road light but thats another story for another day when the statute of limitations is up). Now, as I’ve had the jacket for a little over two years it is more special to me now than ever. It makes me think of a wonderful trip but not only that, it is a fantastic jacket that I wear all year round and it always has my back. That Sainsbury’s jacket wouldn’t, it may have looked cooler and tougher but it wouldn’t give me the same support. There are a few items throughout our lives that transcend the usual level of usefulness and we end up forming quite the bond with them. These items can be very silly, and perhaps meaningless to anyone else but to us they are truly special. Luckily for me, the green jacket is a joy for all and if you called it meaningless then some Swedish designers from the 60s will come to get you.

As this is a review I suppose I should give the jacket some sort of score but how do you quantify true love. Well, lets try at least...If I had to score my jacket on a scale of a song written about Berlin I would give it a ‘Heroes’ by David Bowie. Thats right, ‘Heroes.’ ‘Heroes’. That should tell you all you need to know.

A disclaimer: We will never see that score rating again, don’t add it to the canon.

- Jake, a man who the moment he felt a slight chill in the autumnal air started wearing corduroy trousers and is painfully aware how rock and roll he is, 27/09/2020

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jui-imouto-chan · 6 years

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Part 10 of the Mostly Human AU

Level Select:

Getting through to the last of the suggestions from @manadrite ‘s most recent comment (as of posting this)! I love having suggestions, keep ‘em coming!

Connor isn’t one to get terribly scared. He actually gets a thrill from scary situations.

His sense of self-preservation is startlingly low, for a being granted with immeasurable intelligence. At least, that’s what Hank claims.

Furthermore, Connor loves Horror. From movies to novels to images, he loves things made to be scary.

- Connor may or may not have had a weird crush on Slenderman for like a week.

Maybe it was the towering height and the lack of a face, or maybe it was the slim fitting suit that made the creature so appealing to him.

Okay maybe Connor has a suit kink.

When he sees Gavin in an officer’s clothing and finds the man slightly attractive, it’s clear that he just straight (pfft) up has a uniform kink.

Connor will take this newfound information to the g r a v e.

Connor goes to see a horror movie with Hank and the twins, and he’s ecstatic.

He puts all of the pieces together detective style to figure out how the protagonists are either gonna die or solve the problem while Collin and Conan grip their seats a bit too tight and while Hank mutters flaws about the movie under his breath.

“This scene does not include a lap dance.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

By the end of the movie, Collin and Conan had migrated to partially hide behind Connor, and Connor points this out to them.

They lie and say they were getting sleepy, and were dozing off on his seat.

Connor goes with it with a knowing smirk and a wink, mischief twinkling in his eyes.

Connor goes missing one day.

They try to give him a call when he they don’t see him that morning, but they receive no answer.

Hank and the twins storm through the house, upturning furniture and looking under the beds, in the closets, outside. He’s nowhere to be found.

They call up all of his friends, but nobody knows where he is.

The DCPD gets at least fifteen calls all at once reporting Connor missing.

While everyone is freaking out, Connor is actually, in fact, not missing.

He is out for a walk, Sumo at the vet’s for a check up and grooming, and he spots an animal shelter/pet shop.

There are dogs and cats in cages by the windows, and Connor gravitates towards them without thought to anything else.

He enters the shop and, after talking with the person behind the counter for ten minutes, is surrounded by animals, all vying for his attention.

He’d never seen a cat before this, and honestly, he now holds cats to the same regard as dogs.

It’s his first time seeing a lot of animals, all of them immensely cute. He giggles when a rabbit nibbles on his pointer finger.

The employee who allowed this to happen is melting against the counter, everything is too much. Too cute.

The employee pulls out a camera and records, knowing the manager would love to use this as an ad.

Connor already gave his consent for any media that his interaction might appear in, so it’s all gucci, even though Connor’s too preoccupied with the animals to even realize he’s being recorded.

Connor is there for a few hours, all of the time considered blissful to the android.

The video was sent to the editor as soon as the employee got clips of Connor interacting with each and every one of the animals.

It's edited impressively quickly, yet still professionally; the editor accredited it to “passion”.

When the ad goes up on all of the shelter/shop ‘s social media, with Connor tagged in the photo, everything halts.

Connor finally registers that his phone, being sat on by two guinea pigs, is ringing.

He answers it, and is disappointed when he's told to return home immediately by Hank. Hank sounds angry, distressed, and relieved all at once.

The employee reassures him, telling him that he can return whenever he’d like.

There’s an issue when Connor is on his way home, however, as he gets attacked.

A man tries to mug him with a knife to his throat, pushing him into an alleyway, and while Connor manages to push him away, he doesn’t anticipate the man having accomplices.

He gets a few surprise stab wounds that go into some biocomponents, but their timers are set to at least an hour before he shuts down.

He defeats his attackers and sends Hank his location, telling him that he needs emergency care needs to be taken to Kamski as soon as possible.

His systems kick him into sleep mode against a cold alley wall to preserve thirium, which leaks copiously from his many wounds.

Connor wakes up to the ceiling of Kamski’s “operating” room, vaguely wondering if the past few months had been the equivalent of a dream, if he had imagined all of the friends he’d made and all of the things he’d experienced.

The thought...saddens Connor.

Luckily, a few minutes after he awakens, he hears Hank’s gruff voice and a plethora of footsteps approaching the room he’s in.

Connor goes to sit up, but winces in pain. His movement brings up a prompt, asking if he’d like to interface with the android equivalent of an IV, though it contains a liquid that promotes self-reparation at the cost of his mental capabilities being lowered until his wounds are healed.

TL;DR, it’s the closest Connor can get to pain killing medication.

He accepts the interface and he suddenly feels...oddly happy?

Everything is moving around the slightest bit and Connor can’t help but smile. Everything was great and he was having fun, sitting on the table.

He giggles drunkenly.

His wounds are slowly closing themselves, and he scoots to the edge of the table while humming an unknown tune. He smiles triumphantly once his knees finally hang over the edge, he kicks them and rocks his head side to side.

When everyone enters the room, he’s surrounded by people and get-well gifts and he’s just so happy. He really doesn’t think of the consequences of his actions.

So that’s exactly why he thanks them all with hugs and kisses, skin tingly and buzzing while his chest feels warm and full.

The members of Jericho are frozen when he gives them all kisses to the cheek, and then all of them simultaneously slap a hand onto their cheek and stare at each other with pink faces. Daniel and Simon both duck their heads while Josh pulls his hood over his face and rugs on the drawstrings. North is suddenly more occupied with poking Markus’ red cheeks and teasing him as he shakes.

Hank tries to fight him off, but eventually relents, ruffling his hair bashfully. Conan and Collin both turn their heads as he approaches their cheeks, leading to him kissing both of them on the lips, though he just laughs good naturedly when they both nod at each other and go to opposite sides of the room, ears red.

Ralph and the Jerrys are surprisingly shy when Connor kisses them, but Ralph gives him a kiss on the cheek back, while the Jerrys all rub their necks and look away with silly grins.

Luther and Kara let Alice take their share of kisses, and she presses a kiss to Connor’s nose.

Rupert tries to escape Connor, but the brunette grabs his sleeve and gives him a kiss to the temple. Rupert immediately tries to flee the room, and Connor waves. Rupert hesitates before waving back and running away.

Connor goes to give Gavin a kiss, too, but the detective shoves a homemade cupcake in his mouth before he can. He still manages to give the guy a hug, though.

Kamski approaches, by Connor’s hug and kiss for him are stolen by Chloe, who had just snapped out of her shock at seeing Connor surrounded by a goddamn harem.

She growls at everyone in the room, sans Alice, Hank, Kara, and Luther.

Kamski is kinda concerned?? People don’t growl like that, wtf.

Also, he’s kinda upset that she’s keeping him from getting affection from his own creation but he’s not about to let his head get ripped off today

Chloe says that there’s too many people in the room, it’s getting late, and that Connor should get some more rest so that he can recover completely.

She tries to sound pleasant, but she really just sounds threatening af

Once she’s sufficiently scared the fuck out of everyone there and gotten them to leave, she puts her hands on Connor’s shoulders and tries to explain that nobody is allowed to touch him bc he’s too precious and, “nobody deserves you. This world doesn’t deserve you. The G-Man in the sky doesn’t even deserve you u pure boi.”

He doesn’t remember a word of this in the morning, but Chloe doesn’t know that.

He goes home in Hank’s car, Sumo already back from the vet and now laying across his lap, and finds out that Conan and Collin are at registration for their next year of college

(lol idk if thats something u have to go do at college, im 15 and clueless)

Next Level: College Care Packages and Birthday Parties (suggested by @supposedlymatureadult )

X | Continue to Next Level

O | Save Progress and Quit to Main Menu

————————————— •

I think I got carried away with the kissing but I just really wanted Connor to be overly affectionate. At least I didn’t go down the sexual route.

Leave suggestions in the notes or in my ask, along with any questions, comments, and anything else!

Side note: If you want to receive notice of this AU but not the other random things I post/reblog (don’t worry I‘m not offended if that’s the case), I’m marking them all with #Jui’s Mostly Human AU in the tags, so you can follow that instead if that’s preferable!

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picassho-18 · 6 years

Text

Swaparoo

Request: (Peter Parker x Fem!Reader) Can I get a genderbent peter parker X genderbent reader maybe one of Tony experiments go wrong and we turn into genderbent us. And we have to survive the week like that I'm Imagining flash flirting with peter

Warnings: mentions of female and male body parts, boners and beware, lots of second hand emmbarassment might happen ;)

Word Count: 1722

A/N: This was quite fun to write. I changed up the request a bit hope you don’t mind, and it’s a little jumpy but still hope you enjoy!

Hope you enjoy, feedback is always welcome!

Send an ASK to be added to my permanent tag list! Requests are now closed.

“No no no no no! I do not want this penis!” you screamed at Tony. With fire in your eyes, you were fuming, and he backed away, holding up his hands in fear.

“I never thought I would hear that sentence before.” Peter giggled and blushed when he realized he said it outloud, gaining your angry attention.

Glaring at him, you closed your hands in fists,“Shut it Parker. You literally have huge rack right now. You must be in heaven. Me on the other hand, have a fucking penis!”

Peter gulped, backing away slowly with Tony.

Tony cleared his throat, “I’m so sorry guys. But I must saw, Y/N you make a very handsome boy, and Peter, you make quite a lovely girl!” trying to make the mood a little lighter but failing miserably as you just continued to glare at the two of them.

“Oh come on Y/N, yeah I know I messed up, but it’s not Peter’s fault. Don’t be mean to him to.”

You grumbled, realizing he was right, “Sorry Pete. You, uh, do make a pretty girl though!” you said grinning at him.

He pouted, obviously not liking where you were going. “Seriously though Pete, your hair is so nice and long, and golden brown, and my lord, don’t you have the nicest pair of eyebrows I’ve ever seen. And don’t get me started on that ass I saw earlier!”

“Oh shut it!” he exclaimed, but grinning at your teasing mood. He turned to Tony, “Mr. Stark, please tell me that machine can change us back!”

He rubbed the back of his head, glancing between your and Peter’s hopeful eyes, and the machine that started this whole gender swap. “Uh, yeah. But you need to give me a couple days.”

“Days?!” you and Peter both exclaimed in unison, mouths wide open, looking at him in shock.

“Yeah! So shoo” he said, pushing the both of you out of his lap, “I need to get started, so leave, and try not to get in any trouble. I’ll call the school and clear you guys for the week.”

Peter tried to turn around, “No! I can’t miss the whole week! Please Mr. Stark!”

“Well, you can’t go to school as a girl, can you? Well you could be called Patricia or something.” Tony giggled at his own joke, before closing the door to his lap, leaving you both on the other side.

Letting out a loud sigh, you glanced at Peter in complete despair, “What the fuck are we going to do for a whole week?!”

*****

Hours later you found yourself on the couch, with Peter’s legs on your lap, watching a movie. After getting into some looser clothing, you were slightly more comfortable in this body, but Peter was having a really hard time. He kept moving his hair around, because it kept getting in his face. When he huffed, trying to blow a single strand out of his face, you pushed his legs of of you.

“Okay, Pete, come here,” you motioned, for him to sit in front of you. “I’ll braid your hair, so it’s out of your face.

Sitting up right, you positioned yourself, and ran your fingers through his long hair.

You stopped suddenly when you heard a soft moan come from Peter. He stiffened when he realized that it came from him when he felt the softness of your fingers carding through his hair.

“Peter. Was that a moan I heard?”

He chuckled nervously, not making eye contact with yo, “Uh. Um, I really like it when people play with my hair and massage my scalp, but no one really does it anymore. Probably because no one really thinks to play with a boy’s short hair.”

With all seriousness in your voice, “Okay, when we get back into our normal bodies, I’m totally gonna give you daily head rubs. I can’t have my bestie missing out on his desired massages.”

He gave you a big smile, and relaxed again as you started to braid the hair into two neat french pigtail braids.

After putting in the ties, securing the two braids, you gave his hair one final check before flashing him an approving grin. Once you attention went back to the screen however, Peter stayed just as close to you.

*****

“Peter. How the fuck do you aim?” you yelled to Peter who was just on the other side of the bathroom door, trying to help you go pee.

“Just grab it and point how hard is it?” any other day, and Peter would have turned bright red at the conversation he was having, but due to the fact he literally had a set of boobs, he’s gotten past simple bodily functions.

A few minutes later with more huffing and puffing from you, you walked out the bathroom, your face heated from embarrassment, looking down at the ground not wanting to look at Peter.

“Was it really that hard Y/N.”

“No, but i’m just crossing my fingers you get your period within the week.”

He let out a playful gasp, “Ah, how rude! You wouldn’t miss that on your most horrible enemies!”

“Yeah you’re right.” you smiled, “No one should ever endure period cramps, but I know that until Tony fixes us, I’m free from worry!”

“Yeah… I’m really really hoping it won’t be my “time of the month,”’ he said, air quoting time of the month, causing you to giggle at his silliness.

*****

“Oh my god!” you screamed, brushing your chin and cheeks, feeling the bristles of facial hair growing.

Peter ran into the bathroom, and looked around wildly, looking for whatever startled you.

When he looked at you in confusion, you exclaimed, “I have shit growing out of my face.”

Peter started cackling, the kind where he bended over from laughing to hard, hands on knees, gasping for breath.

At his reaction, you started to giggle, realizing how odd the situation was. Quickly you joined him, laughing loudly, joining him on the floor. Both still giggling crazily, Tony walked by seeing the two of you on the floor, looking like maniacs.

“Do I even want to ask?” cocking an eyebrow at the sight.

Barely able to fit words around your laughter you squeezed in, “Nope. Not at all.”

After Tony left, and you and Peter had quieted down, now gasping for breath, he asked you if you knew how to shave your face.

“Not at all. I can do legs for days though!”

“Okay then,” he said, getting off the floor, and grabbing your arm, pulling you up with him, “I’m gonna help you out.” He looked at him in confusion, so he continued. “I can see you sort of are freaking out about the hair, so I’m going to help you shave.”

You were hesitant, but really wanting Peter do shave your freaking face, but when he mad you sit on the counter, you just went with it.

He stood in between you open legs, grabbing the shaving cream that was in the cupboard. Squeezing some onto his hands, he slowly rubbed it onto your face, looking up at you eyes to make sure what he was doing was okay.

You nodded, gulping slightly, before he grabbed his razor and started to shave. It felt similar to shaving your legs, just a little more sensitive.

Leaning in closer, you could feel his breath on your skin. His tongue poked out a little with his concentration on making sure he didn’t nick you.

At his actions, a shiver ran through your body, and before you realized what was happening, you could feel your pants getting tighter around your crotch area.

Holy fucking shit. I’m getting a fucking boner.

Shifting your legs slightly you tried to not let notice it, but at your fidgeting, Peter looked at you questioningly.

“What’s wrong?” He looked down when you shifted your legs a little more, and saw what you were so desperately trying to hide. “Oh my God. Do you have a boner right now?”

You looked down embarrassed, but he continued, “Ha! I turn you on, thats awesome! Wait, is it because I’m a girl?”

“No! I most definitely like boys, I just, just don’t know how to work this ‘machinery’.” You responded motioning to your junk.

“Yeah, boners are awful! When you would wear that red dress of yours it was always so hard to-” Peter abruptly stopped when he realized what he was saying, his cheeks turning bright red in seconds. He cleared his throat and went back to cleaning off the razor.

“Wait, hold on a second Parker. Do you like me?”

“Well not right now. I don’t bat that way if you know what I mean, but uh, yeah. I do.”

The biggest spin spread on your lips, joy coursing through you at the thought that Peter liked you back.

“Then Peter Parker, get ready from a big ol’ kiss from me as soon as we get our old bodies back, okay?”

He smiled back, grinning at what you were saying. “I would love nothing more.”

*****

“Okay kids, I finally finished fixing the machine!”

“Yes!” you and Peter exclaimed at the same time. While it didn’t take a whole week, it was several days of being a boy for you. And while it was amazing to learn that Peter liked you back during that time, you just wanted your old body back.

“Let’s get this show on the road!”

You and Peter both stepped into the machine that started this whole mess a couple of days ago. You were just hoping it would work and not making it any worse. With a blast of light, and what felt like wave after wave of energy blasts hitting you from all angles, you held back a scream at the overwhelming sensory overload.

Numbness spread over your body, and as soon as you stumbled out of the machine, you grabbed the mirror that Tony was holding towards you.

You let out a breath at the sight of your normal self. Relief washed over you when you saw Peter stumble out as well, in his adorable little male body.

You both made eye contact, and smiles spread over your faces.

“Well Y/N, I think you owe me a kiss now.”

Permanent Taglist:

@leni-lion-luke-larb-logic

@boysoflapush

@superwholockian5ever

@not-reptilian

@pbandj14

@redstarstan

@winter–cearig

@red-writer13

@mundane-cup-noodles

@98-future-is-cake-00

@sebastian-stan-is-daddy

@4narniand4aslan

@dontpanc

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confusedreety · 6 years

Photo

i made myself a modern!au for my children where i dont TORTURE THEM INCESSANTLY (which as it turns out is just marcey’s regular universe)

Grimma

university student, majoring in English, may or may not live under a bridge? Likes to read and write horror (and embarrassing poetry). Takes an unnecessary amount of Philosophy courses even though he hates it cause alfred is a sexy sexy TA. Nat and Rundola found him on the side of the road one night, and took him home like a gross lil lost puppy and patched him up. Now he won’t stop showing up unannounced and eating all the cereal out of the pantry. Nat maintains helping him was the worst mistake of her life, cause he’s so annoying. Rundola tolerates him like a weird tired uncle would, and asks for him to at least leave him the shreddies. Marcey thinks he’s tons of fun though.

Nat

Nat’s what happens when your doctor never quite outgrows their middle school goth phase. She’s a surgeon at the university hospital, where she practices medicine and (much to everyone’s horror) teaches med students. Originally worked in private practice, but eventually took the university position after taking a break to help rundola. Her and Rundola eventually end up together. Friends with marcey, and is always jazzed to hear about her fish adventures.

Rundola

ex-military doctor who went into general practice. he probably drinks too much coffee. He had to take early retirement after ptsd symptoms and depression made it very difficult for him to continue in the modern medical field; now he does part-time consulting and starts doing much better. his house may or may not be a little haunted. insomniac. just sighs when he finds grimma eating his cereal in the dark at 2am. doesn’t let nat’s dog sleep on the bed cause artie stares at him and it creeps him out.

(tagging @gelertassassin for that grimma content)

some silly writing and junk under the cut

(inspired by the frozen fruit i was eating. not edited, just word vomit. maybe will finish??)

“Thanks for the bowl of half-frozen fruit.”

Grimma gingerly chewed at the partly soggy chunk of mango at the end of his fork. While he was grateful for the food, and the cold fruit helped to ease the throbbing in his jaw, he couldn’t keep the sarcasm from leaking into his words. The gesture felt half-hearted. And, to be honest, mangoes were really in the bottom tier of frozen fruit. He felt for sure that his host had deliberately picked much of the other fruit out of the bag—the presence of a single strawberry clearly evidenced the existence of non-mango fruits--leaving the orange-yellow chunks for an unfortunate guest.

“Whatever. Don’t mention it,” Grimma’s host waved her hand in dismissal. He tried to remember her name; the Doc had introduced her before he’d gone out, he was sure…Natasha? Grimma observed the pale purple Lupe, with her blonde curls and sharp eyes, trying to match face to name. Yes, it was definitely Natasha. Had to be. He nodded to himself in affirmation and chewed another mango chunk. ‘Natasha’ soon returned to tapping away at her laptop computer at the far dining table. From his makeshift bed on the living room sofa, Grimma could barely make out the titles of the heavy books piled beside her. This did not, however, mean he could understand them. Impakttrauma und Schenkel...Schenkelhalsfrakturen? Yeah. Exactly. Whatever that means, she was clearly into it. You do you, girl.

Grimma sighed and finished off his fruit, and tried to organize his scattered memories into a coherent timeline. The haze form last night and the painkillers had lifted from his brain, letting him think clearly again. He remembered The Cleric, the bridge, the road...Doc and Natasha. A car, begging them not to bring him to a hospital, that there was no one they could call for him. What a stroke of luck, Grimma thought, that he’d been picked up by a doctor. He wondered if he’d be dead if it’d been anyone else. His wounds were all patched up, stitches, bandages and all. His bones, he’d learned that morning, had been set. Yes, if anyone else had listened to his idiotic pleas he’d probably be dead. Why they had, however, was beyond him. He hadn’t even been questioned yet. Grimma felt suspicious, suddenly. Were they going to harvest his organs or something? Is that why they’d done all this? Oh my god. Please let my kidneys still be in my body. I need my kidneys.

The sound of the front door opening interrupted Grimma from his internal panicking. He heard bags being set on the floor, and the jingle of keys being hung, and bags picked back up. The Doc must be home. In the dining room, Natasha left her work and met the Doc in the foyer. Grimma couldn’t make out their indistinct converstation. A moment later, though, the two were back in the room with him. Grimma eyed them cautiously now.

“Grimma, how are you feeling?” The Doc, a dark haired camouflage Krawk, smiled tiredly, “I hope Natalie didn’t treat you too badly.”

Natalie? Shit. Well, thank god I didn’t call her Natasha instead. Grimma thought, and glanced awkwardly at Natalie.

“Uh, I’m…fine.”

“Wonderful,” the Doc nodded and turned to Natalie, and spoke in a low voice, “can you change his bandages while I prepare the solution…?”

“It may not work, Rundola,” Natalie’s brows knit together, “are you sure?”

Oh, wow. Rundola? I’m bad with names—wait, WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? Grimma felt his chest seize with panic. Natalie and Rundola murmured amongst themselves, but Grimma couldn’t focus enough to make out their words. He jolted upright as Rundola left the room, which he immediately regretted, as pain shot through his back and ribs.

“PLEASE DON’T TAKE MY KIDNEYS!”

Natalie blinked in surprise, and fixed him with a bewildered and scornful look. His outburst had brought Rundola back into the room as well. The Krawk, in contrast, looked at him with genuine concern.

“What? Grimma, we don’t want your kidneys,” Rundola reassured Grimma. He came and knelt beside the sofa, worry on his face. “We talked about this this morning…do you not remember?” he asked carefully.

___

marcey thinks all her friends’ romantic interests are weird

.****

nat: i dont have a type

marcey: depressed old men

nat:

****

grimma: this is alfred, i love him

alfred: //says that Weird Shit//

marcey: //looks into the camera like shes on the office//

***

whenever i think of this au that kim mitchell song thats like lets go for a soda where nobody drowns and nobody diiiiiesss plays in my head

#neoart #my art #my ocs #grimma #nat #rundola #modernau #im so bad at designing outfits #grimma looks cool but nats isnt quite what i wanted #rundola has a boring fashion sense and just looks like that #otherwise he just kinda looks like his regular canon outfit #not much difference #rundola actually gets professional help now #grimmas really committed to his thirst for alfred #hes out there writing essays on fricken plato or somethin to get that boy #if its wrong to wear that much eyeliner to your doctor job then nat doesnt wanna be right #i dont like mangoes #why does the mango always outnumber the good fruit??#im salty #grimmas an unreliable narrator #85% chance nat deliberately picked out the good fruit before giving it to grimma #shes the worst kind of person #shed pick the marshmallows out of ur lucky charms too #why rundola finds her endearing / attractive is beyond grimmas comprehension #marcey thinks grimmas super fun and loves hanging with him #theyre party friends #grimma cant drive btw #hes a menace

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8bitracing-blog · 7 years

Text

Japanese Grand Prix 2017 & current season state - Quick review

(A small disclaimer - this post is more of a discussion of current events within F1 than a weekend review. In future reviews I’ll try to keep the focus more directly upon events that took place within a race weekend).

Well...as race weekends go, for Lewis Hamilton and his Mercedes team that couldn’t have gone much better. Unfortunately, we the audience were denied the opportunity to see if Mercedes had regained an advantage in terms of its race pace against the Ferrari, and far more importantly, robbed of a potential battle to rival the infamous clash of 1989.

So, we had to make do with the sort of race we have seen a lot throughout 2017, Lewis Hamilton playing his game of “maintain the gap”. However in this instance it wasn’t the Ferrari giving chase, but our slowly waking giants in team Red Bull. Sebastian Vettel’s gradual fall through the order was sadly not that surprising, given the fragility of the Ferrari car in recent weekends. As such, I’m not going to dwell on it, as everyone and their dog has been talking about the disappointment of Ferrari, and poor old Maurizio Arrivabene has enough problems besides the 10 new voicemail messages he's got through from Mr Marchionne.

No, no, we have to talk about red bull, and their current form. There will be no getting carried away here and saying they can win a race on pure speed alone because the unfortunate truth of the matter is that they can’t. The Malaysian Grand Prix victory came off of the back of a number of factors falling their way, most notably Ferrari’s current implosion (and some of the more favourable track conditions we’ve seen this year to take the fight to the Mercedes). However, it seems that unbelievably, the team that is known for producing the best chassis in F1 has arguably done it again. A lot of fans chastised Mercedes and Ferrari for their stance on refusing to provide red bull with a half-decent engine. But they were right, as the simple fact of the matter is that if they had done so, they’d currently be watching that purple car disappear down the road every weekend.

Despite the Red Bull engine being branded as a “TAG”, it doesn’t change the fact that the engine is still a Renault. The same engine that currently sits within a works Renault car that has earned precisely 261 FEWER points than the Red Bull has this season. We all know the Renault chassis is hardly fantastic, but a lot of Renault’s problems also stem from a power plant that has proven to be underpowered, inefficient and as unreliable as...well not quite a Honda engine, but you look at the number of DNF’s between the Renault-powered teams this season and try to tell me the Renault engine is currently able to power a championship-winning team, because its not.

Thats enough Renault-bashing for one day though. Let’s move on to the silly pink car with a not-so-silly points haul. Once again (surprise surprise) Force India proves to be best pound for pound team on the current F1 grid. It’s amazing how well they do when their drivers aren’t allowed within 50 meters of one another. It has been fascinating to watch this intra-team rivalry develop over the season, made better by the fact that these two drivers are a complete match for one another. Every time one driver seems to get the upper hand the other will bite back, its just a shame that they've come to blows so many times, as we lost another chance for a big juicy battle that was somewhat lacking in this Japanese GP. Perez currently has a 17 point buffer over Ocon in the championship, and whilst I’m sure many people will be looking elsewhere, this will be a mini title fight that I will be keeping my eye on all the way to the final race.

For Haas, a double points finish couldn’t have come at a better time. They leapfrog Renault in the constructors and even more significantly have moved within 9 points of Toro Rosso. I say this couldn’t have come at a better time, as unfortunately for Toro Rosso, they have lost their only consistant source of points in the form of Carlos Sainz (Jr.). Sainz has collected 48 of the 52 points for Toro Rosso, leaving the Red Bull sister team in the unenviable position of relying on Daniil Kvyat and...well it’s supposed to be Pierre Gasly, but he has Super Formula commitments so its our favourite Kiwi, Brendon Hartley in the car for next weekend. It’s really not looking good is it? Kvyat, hardly considered a mainstay in the point-scoring positions (4 of Toro Rosso’s 52 points). Hartley, a fantastic prototype driver but a one-off race weekend hardly ever amounts to more than being the primary recipient of the lions share of blue flags. Gasly? It’s anyones guess. Talented he is no doubt, its unlikely he’s had sufficient time in the car to be grinding out those top 10 finishes. Due to this, I can only see Toro Rosso slipping behind Renault and Haas before this season is out.

Going in to the final four races, Williams have extended their small but significant buffer over 6th placed Toro Rosso to 14 points. Like Force India, Williams doesn't have the vast sums of money to throw at R&D, team hospitality units and shady ex-FIA employee recruits (sorry Renault fans) that the wealthiest teams do. Therefore, 5th place in the constructors - and most importantly the prize money that comes with it - is incredibly important to this humble team. When you’re in a performance rut over successive seasons in F1 it’s incredibly hard to get out of. As you do worse in successive seasons, you recieve less money to spend on the next season of racing, a phenomenon that Williams have experienced before. Hopefully therefore, Williams can see out these final four races and maintain their 5th position in the standings, as otherwise I will worry for them going in to 2018.

For McLaren and Sauber, another race weekend to forget and most certainly a case of looking to the future. McLaren’s switch to Renault power next season is a chance for the team to finally display their long-claimed potential in their chassis (and the chance for me to write a lengthy blog post on the subject). For Sauber, it seems the team currently has neither the personnel nor the resources to prise themselves from the bottom rung of the F1 ladder. A worrying prospect, given their previous financial struggles and near-collapse.

Now, with a week to go until the American Grand Prix, we can begin to hope for the sort of race that we missed out upon in Japan. COTA is a circuit that has proved a very happy hunting ground for Mercedes in the past and throws up the first potential chance for Lewis Hamilton to claim the 2017 drivers title. Ferrari will need to be flawless next Sunday, and on current form, I wouldn't hold my breath.

#blog #review #sport #cars #motorsport #formula 1 #formulaone #f1 #f12017 #grand prix #race #racing #lewis hamilton #lh44 #sebastian vettel #seb5 #mercedes #ferrari #red bull #mclaren #renault #suzuka

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aturxox-moved · 7 years

Text

★ FILL IN THE QUESTIONS AS IF YOU ARE BEING INTERVIEWED FOR AN ARTICLE AND YOU WERE YOUR MUSE.

TAGGED BY: Snatched from @shushc TAGGING: junpei iori’s hat

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME? “Yutaka Sugimura.”

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME? "I hope you don’t think I would lie about something as simple as my name, I’ve told you already.”

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE CALLED THAT? “I dont know, you seem to think its just an alias. Kidding, I was named with prosperity and wealth in mind, I suppose it would have been to wish me luck in my future. I am by no means the person to ask about this.”

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN? "I’m engaged! A very lovely Okumur.a Haru being the woman in question.”

5. WHAT ARE YOUR POWERS AND ABILITIES? "I can shoot laSers from my eyes and turn invisible. Kidding again, I cant think of anything like that other than I suppose being good at some sports? Does that really count though?”

6. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? "Brown I suppose.”

7. HAVE YOU EVER DYED YOUR HAIR? "I had dyed it black when I was younger. It wasn’t really a god look for me.”

8. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS? “My mother and father and a few other family members I don’t hear from much. I think my father has one brother with a few children with children of their own at this point.”

9. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? "A few dozen birds, an Akita Inu dog and two lovely maine coon cats. I cant say i’m not very interested in animals.”

10. TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE. "I cant stand children, theyre unpleasant and rude and since they’re young people will say you cant blame them for being that way. Theyre young after all of course they’re going to be annoying. That doesn’t mean I have to pretend I don’t it.”

11. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES OR ACTIVITIES YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME? "I ice skate when I have nothing important to do, its not like im Olympic competition level good but its a good way to pass time.”

12. HAVE YOU EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE? "I suppose everyone does at one point or another.”

13. HAVE YOU EVER… KILLED ANYONE? "I don’t think so, no.”

14. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU? "I really have no idea. Maybe a snake or a peacock.”

15. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS. "I...party very hard and have very little self control. Im also very bad at making up my mind and I end up doing foolish things because of this.”

16. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE? ‘NO.’

17. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL? “That...A bit of a private question. Id rather not answer.”

18. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL? ‘"No. Im out of school.”

19. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY? "Not really, commitment to one person for the rest of your life seems a bit silly. Funny that Im engaged right? Well, so long as its her she can be my exception.”

20. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANS? "Probably but I have no clue who they are.”

21. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? “No thank you I’d rather not reply.”

22. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR? "I like a good suit. I feel a bit exposed in other outfits.”

23. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE? “Quite!” No

24. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? "Ah, I guess modesty goes out the window in favor of an actual answer. High class. Not a really big deal though.

25. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE? “I have a few good friends.”

26. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE? "I ate a whole pie by myself once.”

27. FAVORITE DRINK? “Water really. My favorite alcoholic drink however would be champagne.”

29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE? "My goodness anywhere in Italy. And then there’s the Korea and america is just wonderful. There are so many I couldn’t possibly choose one. Maybe the airport. After all its where one would go to travel to these wonderful places.”

30. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE? "It should be obvious if im getting married.”

31. WHAT’S YOUR DICK SIZE? "With all due respect don’t ask me that.”

32. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN? "Ocean without a doubt.”

33. WHAT’S YOUR ‘TYPE’? "I’m more interested in blondes.”

34. ANY FETISHES? "This is getting pretty intrusive, could you be anymore rude?”

35. TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE? "Stop this.”

36. CAMPING, OR INDOORS? "Alright, now that thats out of the way, indoors. A lot more to do.”

37. ARE YOU WAITING FOR THIS INTERVIEW TO BE OVER? "I was fine until you started asking about my sex life. If you want to know so badly then at least buy me dinner.”

#about #in which sugimura is a fake bitch #so many lies in once place

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captainalwayslazycollectort-blog · 6 years

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car insurance auto quote

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car insurance auto quote

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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Hi im 17 years old and i was wondering whats the cheapest insurance company?

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Pregnancy insurance?

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Which would be cheaper insurance?

I'm 15 and for my first transportation vehicle. Which would cheaper on insurance. A sports bike with 500cc or 2014 mustang gt? Which one would have a cheaper insurance rate?

My auto insurance cancelling my auto insurance...Help?

My husband caused a hit and run accident last year. After a half year later, my insurance send me a letter that they will cancel my auto insurance. I don't know what to do... Please help.""

Cost of insurance for 2nd gen Toyota Mr2?

Would you pay a higher insurance on this car than a normal car? what about a turbo? I got an online insurance quote and it was about $600/year for liability and $1000/year for collision coverage, does this seem like a fair price? I'm almost 19 years old and have a clean drivers record.""

car insurance auto quote

Can anybody advise me on the Insurance Company United America for health insurance?

I need Health insurance and would like advise on this company

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Insurance or out-of-pocket?

The bumber and trunk of my new 2006 Honda Civic was hit by someone unknown when my car was parked in a lot. The damage is a sizeable dent. How much will it cost for a repair in the dealership? Is it better to pay it myself or let the insurance do it (worry about increasing insurance rate). Any other ideas will help? Thanks

What is the best affordable car insurance for young adults?

I just got a car and wanted to get insurance on my car but dont want to pay a lot of money for it. what do you recommend?

Please answer!!! Is my car insurance too high?

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""I need health insurance but can't afford it, please help.?""

I am a 22 year old female, I work full time at a minimum wage job that does not offer benefits. I am a diagnosed bipolar and need medication for it that I can't afford without insurance. I also need health insurance because I need to pay for therapy, medicine for over active bladder, acid reflux, insomnia, and muscle injury. I have a lot going on and need to know if there is any way I can get cheaper insurance. Please help me.""

Can my parents put my car under their insurance so it's cheaper since I'm 16?

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Which are the top 10 insurance company of USA?

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Hello, I am a 22 year old female who lives in California, I was wonderinf what would be the best/cheap car insurance please... Thank you""

Which insurance company is best?

ok so im 19 and just got my drivers license a few months ago (i never really needed it before now). its tax time and im buying a van to fit all the kids i lug around. well since i've never had to get auto insurance im not sure on what place would be best to go to. i know my age and how long i havent had my DL will effect how much i pay, but im trying to go the cheapest route possible. does anyone have advice on where to go? also what is a 'premium'? i did a free quote online and it told me what my downpayment would be, my monthly payment. and my premium? plz help""

Can I write off the montly payment for health insurance I pay for my family?

Going to opt out of my employer paid insurance program, and buy private insurance for my family, can I write the entire payment off on my personal taxes?""

""Looking for auto and home insurance recommendation in Castle Rock, Colorado?""

We will moving from Wisconsin to Castle Rock, CO in January, 2007. We are building a new home there. We would appreciate any auto and home insurance company recommendations & comments in that area for the best coverage & service at the lowest cost.""

Another insurance question for you...?

I'm 16, and soon I'll be getting my first car. When my mom checked out how much my insurance would be on a black Honda Civic 2-door from 1997 they told her it would be $100 a month. Needless to say, that car is gone and I now have my eyes on a silver Chrysler Sebring 2-door convertible from 1998. Judging by the price of the insurance on the Civic, how much would it be on the Sebring? Thanks in advance.""

How much would car insurance be for me? (teen)?

I'm 16. Driving a Honda Accord 2001, with 130,000 miles. I live in the state of Delaware. I'm a male, with about. 3.0 average in school. If you had to guesstimate , how much do you think my insurance would be?""

Can a dealership sell you a car without car insurance?

I bought a car, thinking I had car insurance, and I want out. I didn't put any money down, yet i signed the paperwork and drove off the lot with the car. I brought back the same day, but of course they didn't take it back. Can they hold me to the loan if i didnt have car insurance and i have no job? I am only 19 and want a way out.""

What automotive insurance companies insure right-hand drive cars in Ontario?

I'm looking to get insurance on a right hand drive import (Nissan Skyline) in Ontario, Canada. Prior to January 2012 this wasn't the hardest thing to do. It's gotten increasingly difficult. Anyone know of a company that still insures these imports at a reasonable rate?""

Auto Insurance Question?

Hi all, I live in California and I got in a car accident yesterday. I found out today that the insurance company suspended our insurance due to a late payment so we most likely had no coverage at the time of the accident. What are my options at this point?? The accident was not my fault and the other driver was arrested for felony DUI and they had insurance. What are my options?? Thanks in advance!""

How much does insurance(auto insurance) cost for a 56 year old with perfect records?

I was wondering how much insurance would cost for a 50+ year old, and which would be the best insurance, and also the cheapest. Thanks in advance.""

Cheapest UK insurance for new driver with 6 point and zero no claim certificate?

i have checked but could not find a cheap UK insurance for a UK new driver with 6 points on license and zero no claim certificate. please suggest if one can think or know of.. cheapest i got so far is 2200. my age is 31 years. unluckily i got 6 points on my license .

How do you get cheap classic mini insurance when your 17 and its your first car?

My friend (also 17) got his insurance for 998, i asked and he said about classic mini insurance and joining a mini club, can someone explain and help me?""

California Health Insurance. 22 living with parents?

I recently graduated from university and have a job, but don't make that much money. I am currently living with my parents. My dad is 58 and makes 55k-ish a year. My stepmom is 60 and doesn't work. My 24 year old brother makes about 12k a year. Both me and my brother are both in debt from school. I can be on my dad's health insurance plan but it's too expensive. I think he claims me and my stepmom as dependents. What are my health insurance options? Any advice would be great. The more details the better.""

Why do we need auto insurance?

car insurance auto quote

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-am-18-year-old-girl-who-has-mitsubishi-eclipse-gs-driving-haney/"

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