#well...i might of not had a mental breakdown but i was close yall

[lilacstro]

my personal opinions on your big 3: your sun, moon, rising

paid readings open xoxo

support me on ko-fi :)

I was remembering the time when I was 10 years old and used to read those astrology posts that said things like "zodiacs in school", "what does your sun sign do when bored" and I wanted to make a less complicated, fun post just like that but wanted it to still be in accordance to people I have seen so far, so expect this post to be more fun and very not serious and rather light hearted, so here we goooo so since it is like so, please scroll past if you do not resonate :) I would be posting more serious stuff kind of what i learnt from my diploma the following week if possible, luv you<3

Aries

Sun: You guys are so full of passion omg. Sun is really powerful here and you guys actually shine, so passionate and full of energy. Every Aries Sun I have seen befriends anyone within 5 cm radius to them and has a very extroverted energy. If you are close to them, they will make sure to fight for you and protect you for sure.

Moon: Chaotic emotions and restless, but this restlessness always leads to some kind of creation. The types who work out to release pent up energy. It is possible you guys keep on discarding and making new habits and do not stick to one. Very destructive if provoked, especially emotionally

Rising: Beautiful people. You guys are likely to have a intense energy and aura around. Unlike Aries Sun, many Aries risings could be reserved at times. I think you are the people everyone is afraid of to participate along with in any competition because you scream this energy of "competitive, I am gonna win you see" without even trying!

Taurus

Sun: LORD YALL ARE SO CHILL, but probably sometimes way to chill and turn ice, I mean not ice cold(yes if you are annoyed by someone lmao) but sometimes may become too boring in the sense that you may not want to do crazy things, you like stable, calm energy. The types to watch a movie, or do some art when they are bored. ALSO VERY STUBBORN but also not mad easily but if mad really really angry. ALSO yall are so beautiful and elegant without even trying

Moon: This archetype is the mother in zodiacs. But you guys indeed if once emotionally connected to someone, would make sure they are well fed and had 8 hours of sleep and make sure they are feeling ok while having 10 mental breakdowns. Also, you guys can hold more grudges than Taurus Suns and Mars, and can sometimes or maybe most of the times be unwilling to change opinions.

Rising: Gorgeous Gorgeous people, who are a little shy at first and once comfortable, everything else, whatever that is, comes out. You guys are actually really good at cooking and also, even though Taurus is the sign of wealth and stability, I have seen many Taurus risings be good with money until its the time to spend on something they like, they spend crazy lmao. Very comfortable energy around you, make other people comfortable once they are.

Gemini

Sun: Do you want to know Gossips? Ask your Gemini Suns, I bet they know a new one from 10 minutes ago. They are updated fast on drama than most google sites. Also, they have pure crackhead energy no doubt, but they can carry a conversation so well and talk about anything you want, even though might have no idea about it

Moon: Crackhead energy once again. If you want a good time and do not take things seriously or do not get offended easily, go to your Gemini Moon friends, they indeed say the most out of pocked things at times, but they are very funny. But if you are serious and want to have serious conversation, it is 9/10 chances that you would not be taken much seriously, since anything that is boring distracts gemini moons to zone out, so they probably heard you half and would comment on that half info without asking you to repeat because they do not want to listen again lmaooo But for the 1/10 times they listen seriously, they offer really good and short and simple advice.

Rising: These people are like chameleon to me, I mean they adapt so well to wherever they are and who they with. They also are very hard to recognize since they come in all different beauty and styles and aesthetics. Very good conversationalists once again and always seem to be talking about something or to someone, never really idle. Good at texting and probably post many selfies on social media.

Cancer

Sun: GOD you all are so innocent and cute until someone really gets to see past that lmao, or I may rather say, you let someone see. For some reason you guys always have your guards up, but you are good at fooling people by making them think they probably have seen all your cards, especially in terms of what you are really capable of. Most cancer suns I have seen, regardless of whatever kind of relationship they may have with their moms, they seek their validation somehow.

Moon: Very intuitive and sensitive to emotions, especially of other peoples. Really good at understanding others and healing them, they are really soft people honestly. They are again very unlikely to show you your feelings and emotions, but somehow would see yours. Very nurturing and caring, especially emotionally. Your comfort friends who treat you with ice cream and listen to your sob story.

Risings: Wonderful people, very kind and loving and caring. I have often seen Cancer risings are very keen on making people around them feel seen and heard and cared for, they carry so much charm in them. Very down to earth, and they are always willing to listen. Very emotional people like all Cancer placements and very empathetic, would try their best to make you feel warm and they do it so well that people can let their guards down and connect to them, probably even spill their secrets.

Leo

Sun: SHOW STOPPERS. So charismatic, and even if they are not loud like most leos, there is a 9.9/10 chance that you have atleast seen them once or heard about them once it is impossible that you are not aware about their existence. They usually like attention and validation from other people, but if no one would do that, they do it themselves and then other people reflect that energy back and yeah...the cycle never ends. I do know that people say Leo Suns are selfish and egoistic, while that maybe true on some level, they are really good at making people feel confident and worthy and also very generous.

Moon: 9/10 Leo moons I have seen have some kind of egoic validation and connection related to their mother. They are likely to be people who are "mumma's girls/boys" because until and unless they feel their moms validation, they would not proceed. Cancer Moons are like so too, but somewhat less than Leo Moons. Also, very possible that you are the oldest, or you act like the oldest. Very charming people though. If they are introverted, their energy is loud and charismatic without even trying, and if they are outgoing, then it is visible and double charismatic of how they are able to validate their emotions and act on them, be verbal about it. BUT BUT sometimes or I may say, most, you guys are really dramatic when hurt and high on emotions. You cannot stand being ignored I knowwww.

Rising: Um how do I say it. Leo suns are bright bright sun, Leo moons are golden enveloped kind of shiny, while Leo risings have a halo on their head and back. I mean it is an energy that you look at and feel drawn to, you do not force yourself like wanting to see the Sun in the eyes but you just see them somehow, they have a warmth around them. Usually very outgoing, great sense of style, and befriend people easily. Although all Leo placements are comfortable to put a fight, Leo risings would especially are not afraid either, especially if they feel the challenge at themselves or hurt at the ego. They are usually very kind and I have seen trust people easily irdk why. They often try to direct their light on other people and try to shine them along. Though, I sometimes see such people dimming their own light to get along with others. Generous people at hearts.

Virgo

Sun: You guys are the ones who are so serious about the next exam 2 months in advance, probably even before the exams are announced. Very critical of themselves, usually very introspective and rather quiet and even if you are outgoing, it is ambiverted, you are not in someone's face lmao. Very organized and may tie their worth to studies and grades, and their friends too, often. YOU GUYS DO NOT LIKE INTERUPTIONS IN PLANS LMAO

Moon: Logic with emotions, you do not let things hurt you until you have processed the feelings mentally. Your feelings do not go to the heart directly, it first goes to the mind and then you decide if you can make sense out of it, which most of the times you cannot, so you hurt your head with brainstorming as an extra with your heart. It feels like you guys have compartments in your head, and you put those memories and feelings in each so you can pull them up asap when needed to retrieve. Usually good at following routines and structures and like predictability in some form. If they are not in a clean or organized they do not feel good, whatever that means to them, whether that means trash in their room or floors so clean you see your face

Rising: Beautiful people yet again. Look very youthful and young. Really work oriented, and would really really want that they be seen and recognized at work/school for their efforts or can feel upset otherwise. They say and do things in exact manner, no less no more and usually avoid fuss and drama. Like showing up in a rather neat and clean, minimalistic manner than being more big and bold, all with their appearance and emotions and words. Just like Virgo Moons, these people like clean places especially and cannot handle unhygienic people and places at all. The types to be careful with spellings at school and work and while texting and maybe avoid emojis or use wrong ones.

Libra

Sun: I think the more you guys like justice and harmony, most Libra Suns I have seen have rather disbalanced scales are WILD, but the justice is indeed super important when it comes down to them ahem ahem. I also see you guys put great efforts in wanting to be liked by people often, and sometimes if not all, would try to make efforts to do that. Usually very charming and friendly and would even make a beautiful smile on their face for their worst enemy in social settings rather than letting people know they hate them. They can hate many people honestly, but with you, you are the best one and the most special person ever, behind your back, idk depends vastly honestly, so if you ever confided in a Libra Sun because of their nice nature in the 1st meeting, good luck babe!

Moons: I think Libra Moons are very nice again and do all the nice talking to make you comfortable but they are actually most justice oriented and fair than Libra Suns. Their mood can actually depend on how good they look honestly. Also very kind and nice and usually would say the things someone would blow up on your face for in the nicest manner idk how do they have so much patience. Also they have a silent charisma to them often I have seen. They again are nice to everyone and never really blow up even when the scales are highly unbalanced or I may say, unless the scales are trashed :D

Risings: AH SUPER CHARISMATIC. Very lovely people. And super attractive I must say, and I would say effortlessly idk how. If I could describe libra risings by one color I would say pastel pink idk every thing about them screams aesthetic and pretty, their aura is usually very fun and uplifting and it is unlikely they take any kind romance they have ignited in people by their words and charisma to be taken seriously. Popular people, liked by everyone kind of placement. I mean they can be worst people too but atleast from far and in the first glance, it is highly unlikely you would be able to guess.

Scorpio

Sun: I would say they are either of extremes, either you have never seen or heard from them are they are one of the mysteries of the world and super quiet or they are LOUDDDDDDD there is no in between and regardless, these people have some kind of charm and I would say MAGNET in them. They can be the most toxic people (they are not, tho there are exceptions) but you would still feel attracted to them idk why would be that so, but it would be like that most of the times. Also sometimes I have seen these people often cannot stay in friend groups for too long even if they tried to, some kind of drama would always happen if there is a friend with Scorpio Sun in the group because these people are actually super sensitive, though I never say its a bad things. I have seen whenever I simply hear or even sit near a frustrated or jealous or angry Scorpio Sun I feel a certain kind of vibe to them. It feels like heaty and heavy I cannot explain. But yeah strong emotional reactions, even if quiet or even if someone else is narrating it, I can know it was a Scorpio Sun idk how. Very territorial and possessive and if they know someone did their friend wrong they better fear lives but it only happens when they feel close to you or vice versa and that happens super rare....But once they decide they really want to keep you, it is a long friendship.

Moons: Tough, Strong people. They are brave and fight the worst adversities that are thrown on them. Their emotions change them in the sense that before going through anything they would sense a storm is about to come, and their emotions would adapt to the change before their mind and body. Really good at reading people and the room and understanding your deepest, most unexplainable feelings as if they have experienced every kind of emotion possible. Usually psychic, intuitive and empathetic. Could often dream about the past and can have troubles breaking mental patterns especially if they are harmful in some way.

Risings: They remind me of the black and white filter honestly idk why. I think I can say most scorpio risings are not as loud or outgoing, they can be fun and wild but they usually have an intimidating aura, I would say more intimidating that Sun and Moons. Often seen them have shadows on their face, and also, sleepy eyes like they do not seem intoxicated exactly but their eyes are not wide awake normal like most people. You can never know them honestly, just like any scorpio placement and they can merge into the background if they wanna hide and you would not know. They are the friends who respond to your texts 2 months later or are out of reach every 2 months. Never consistent on social media or never post is one more thing.

Sagittarius

Sun: AH VERY BLUNT LMAO. Most Sag Suns I have met are very blunt especially if they are comfortable with you or your friend. Always have a world of their own, maybe they have occupied their mind in some movie or drama or maybe they are busy creating some art or lost in their day dreams they are not really present in the current world and I guess that is why they have energy, especially physical energy I must say. Every Sag Sun I have seen has liked dancing at one point and always has some kind of engagement outside their own culture, be it supporting a sports team different from their own country or being invested in some other culture's movies and entertainment.

Moon: Sag Moons I know sometimes seem to have problems in understanding other people's emotions because theirs are so big and expanded that they cannot really see it for other people. I have seen Sag Moons are often the kinds of people to develop an affinity for some kind of place or person they have never met very easily. They are actually very dramatic just like Leo Moons honestly but different in the sense that it takes longer for them to see things clearly I feel. Usually very optimistic and motivating and very hopeful for the future. The most bold and big actions they take are when they are impulsive because of high emotions I have seen.

Risings: AH I do not know why but Sag risings are very beautiful, yes, beautiful. Literally. Such a beauty to them, even if they may not be conventionally or beauty standard pretty, they feel beautiful. These kinds of people who you sit with for 10 minutes and they say the most life changing things in a single line without even them realizing, maybe while doing random things and they do not even realize it. Always wanting to travel or connect with other cultures, more proactively than other people I feel.

Capricorn

Sun: I do not know but every Capricorn sun I have seen has a vibe of "do not touch me you peasant" or "no thanks, do not wanna hear your good morning I have a business meeting" and this is when you would be seeing them at lunch in the cafeteria, probably even in high school irdk. A serious persona and appeal idk they also seem mysterious for some reason and feel like they are unwilling to talk, its a hard and confusing energy. Also you can be their friend for years and you do not really know if they are your friend. I think the best way to know if a Capricorn Sun is your friend is when you see them respond to your texts in time, give you their time and energy. And if a Capricorn sun is spending money on you, I feel you are really serious for them lmao

Moon: STOICS. You can never read them. They will never tell you about their emotions even after they die, especially if they have specially decided not to. They hold their emotions back, and often wait for some kind of time or opportunity, which does not make it better but probably worse since the jist of the emotions and when was the right time to say was probably gone. If you are a Capricorn Moon, please tell your crush you like them before they have 10 grandkids. ALSO, you guys are good in this sense that you do not disassociate at worst emotional pressures and dramas and never act out on your emotions no matter how DRAMATIC AND INTENSE the situation is so you never really make a fool of yourself actually.

Risings: AH Capricorn risings, they are actually elites, or they feel like that. They have that serious and "do not waste my time if you have nothing important to say" kind of look. Very savage and people fear you for some reason and your intensity and seriousness is not something you try to do, its just silently felt lmao. The kind of friend in the friend group where after cracking a joke people see if you laughed, and if you did not, they feel they messed up and even if you did, they ask you if you were not offended lmao. Good people to go to for taking serious advices/conversations they have capacity for that.

Aquarius

Sun: Honestly I cannot even lie anymore, I have never seen an Aquarius who does not has completely, completely different and sometimes, even concerning views on the most common things and they are actually proud of it and its crazy. You wanna compete with your Aquarius Sun friend in what most weird things have happened to you, you cant actually LMAO. Also, most Aqua Suns can have really good emotional intelligence in understanding other people, but themselves. Always aware on what is happening in the world, and also, good with internet and computers. Kind and Generous at hearts<3 Also idk why do most of them speak with a lot of pauses in between.

Moon: I have seen 9/10 times people with Aquarius Moons have some very weird relationship with their mother. Either she is absent but not absent really, and she loves you but does not love you idk. I also feel as a child you could have been the weired one, the one people tried to tame but in the end YOU are the one who ends up doing something completely different from their family and usually succeed (especially if you do it consistently and do not get a superior complex in between) I have often seen regardless of how good and bad it is, these natives are always distant from their family emotionally, and more connected to their grandparents than their own parents. Usually people you can share anything with! and they take their friends very seriously I have seen.

Rising: Aquarius risings I have seen are mostly active on social media, and are very likely not posting themselves but rather posts on geopolitics, or maybe poetry or maybe something that people would find relatable. They also seem to be people who make you comfortable being weird around them without even trying. It is like you can say something really quirky or weird around them that people would probably make faces at you for, but they would respond genuinely without judgement lmao. Very friendly and welcoming to all kinds of people and as a result have a very colorful friend group.

Pisces

Sun: Very sweet people and usually very introverted but they are always occupied and they are always doing something, especially artistic or musical. Most Pisces Suns I know are actually really good at artistic stuff. The types to doodle at the back of their notebook, or zone out in classes. They are usually very kind but actually very sensitive. Also even if you probably bother them, they would not say much but if you bother someone they feel protective about then that is another thing. Very emotional. Random but I have often seen these people confuse romantic and platonic love they feel, so I do not know if I would say they are emotionally intelligent in that way.

Moon: Pisces Moons I know really really connect to music, or do music in some shape or forms. Really artistic. Also, I would not like to be awful and generalizing, but out of Sun and Rising, Pisces Moons are in their feels really easily. They attach themselves to things and people super easily as well. Apart from Sag Moons, Pisces Moons are also able to attach themselves to people and places they never seen and even dream about them. But they actually have really intense connections to their imaginations are fully emotionally invested in their hopes and dreams, even the ones they see in sleep. Really good at manifesting. idk but Pisces Moons are also good at lying and also making up real emotions when they need to, its like their super power.

Risings: I personally have never known a Pisces rising. But I would talk from what I have seen so yeah. First of all regardless of gender, people with Pisces rising have some kind of feminine look to them, like how do I explain, like pretty white stars shining on them. I feel most Pisces risings, at some point in their life, have been really gullible. I also feel Pisces rising really do have two completely different. opposite sides to them, now if is apparent to them or people is one other thing. Good at artsy stuff and have really good skin. Really beautiful, probably a little downturned eyes, it looks like their eyes have stars and dreams and hopes in them, and this is something I have seen be constant. Idk for some reason it feels they somehow always carry their past with them and probably never really show their vulnerable side

typing this broke my hands lol

i love you all

leave suggestions in the asks

xoxo

[kalechipswithasideofkale]

my adrenaline has gone down finally so i feel i can give my thoughts on this season

no more faks! no more! please!

i think the series is taking inspiration from different art movements and genres. season one - surrealism?, season two - modernism?, season three - baroque? im not well versed on this stuff but i definitely noticed they use different forms of art to make the seasons feel different from one another

piggybacking off the earlier bulletin; i think thats also why this season feels like all flash and no substance. whatever movement or era they decided to do with season three is very ou la la oui oui i zam an artist bonjour /nm its very different from the movements they went with in the past seasons. this one feels serious and fancy smancy

i still think they’re going to go through with sydcarmy and this season just solidifies it. syd and carmy are severly mentally ill with issues they need to work out. they dont handle stress and expectations well if at all.

i think some of the things being said by the characters are being taken at face value specifically carmy calling claire peace. i dont think the writers are writing claire to be a source of peace for carmy; hes just so in denial and confused about his emotions he knows he supposed to feel peace from claire but cant figure out why he doesnt

i missed marcus sweeps and tina in this season so much. and syd! i was excited for sweeps to go to wine school only for it to be a one off thing. the tina episode was good but thats the only thing i can think of from the top of my head that she stood out in. marcus’ mom died? but it feels like she didnt die at all? like the weight of his moms death isnt being felt in his character and that made me really sad. i wanted a little more with syd and marcus with their moms :/

im not angry at carmy somehow? i just feel this deep sadness because he is so unlike himself. my initial frustrations with the season made it hard for me to look at his character. now that ive calmed down, he just makes me sad. like thinking about him makes me feel like a wet sausage dude he needs serious help and im scared he’s gonna do something very bad in this next season/part

i was really hoping there would be more parallels between new york carmy and current syd. they might explore it in season 4 and i really hope they do!

where tf was everyone else in the emergency room and why was it the two faks. there is no dissection in the world that will make me okay with those losers being there im sawry

syd being the first person sugar called and claire being the last mhm yup 🙂‍↕️

a good chunk of claire and carmys scenes being muted or cool colors once again!

RICHIE AND HIS DAUGHTER AA!! i wish they had an entire episode dedicated to them theyre so cute!

theres something to be said about loneliness and isolation this season? again i would need to rewatch the season. something something carmy pushing syd away something something nat fearing giving birth because of her mom something something syd having a breakdown and isolating herself from the rest of the fam something something

pete ❤️

chris you have reached ur limit on white male characters enough is enough theres NO MORE ROOM

ngl i actually liked seeing john cena on my screen yall pls

why are we so close to everyones face i zont like zat at all

i thought they were going to bring louis back and got so excited!!! BRING BACK LOUIS

they wrap up the claire storyline by season 4 or part three?? whatever theyre doing idk

LUCA!!!!!!

as much one sided beef i have with jlc she delivered i crode very hard

backseating the characters of color is very lame and bogus! i hated it! what happened to tinas friends she met at school? does ebra not have family? syd and her dad? marcus and his roommate? so many characters they could introduce from sydney marcus tina ebra fuck even angel and manny but they insist on introducing characters that have ties to the berzattos. i hate it! i really do!

syds apartment? where did you go fren….

i wish they were more artsy fartsy with carmys internal struggles give me cringe film student vibes please ill take anything

FUCK CICERO he didnt do anything but PISS ME OFF >:(

why didnt they have syd work out the economics (or whatever tf that computer dude did do). didnt she do something like that in season one? i guess since cicero called him it makes sense

richie and nat are so adorable i love them!!!!

overall pretty mediocre season. it was okay for a show like the bear. i don’t agree with having an entire season dedicated to build up! or atleast in the way they’ve done it in season 3. season 1 was a prologue for the entire show yet it still felt like a complete season. alot of the things that went down in season three either could’ve been compressed into a shorter span of time or they could’ve gotten more episodes (as if its that easy lol but the pacing wouldn’t have suffered as much if the season was longer). um decent season? i dont hate it! i dont love it either. like i said it feels soulless and maybe thats the intention? idk man 😔

i will most definitely be seated for season four TRUST

[sadbi-hours]

Well, I watched 9x04 of ahs...and...there just isn't any words to express how I feel.

Umm, I really dug the Freddy Vs Jason element that they gave RR and Mr. Jingles this episode. That movie is a big guilty pleasure of mine and I would love to see more of it...but with RR being, well, you know, touched by satan--and that's putting it lightly-- and I think Mr. Jingles is going to devote his time to taking Margret down now. I don't see anymore showdowns happening between them, which is a shame too. It'd be hella cool to see them go full 'only one can live!' type of shit!

And speaking of 'only one must live'!, I loved loved the little showdown we got between Donna and Montana! I feel like they are the only two who can match each other in clever and craziness and it was cool to see them throw down while the two main killers were too...and fuck Margret! That bitch is on a whole other level of insane! And yes, I know Montana is too...but despite the fact I call bs on the backstory about why Montana is after Brooke--even though why they hadn't met each other before now makes a little sense since she is the best mans' sister and not the grooms--Billie Lourd pulled off f*cked up beauitfully here! God, I swear her acting is a gift this season!

And I gotta give Lesile Grossman props to. Her acting is so freaking good...i wouldn't want her dead as much as I do, if she wasn't doing her job! So kudos to her...but since her reveal wasn't a shock because I always knew she killed those people all those years go, I'd just rather see more of Donna and Montana. I'm too invested in seeing more of what makes them tick.

And yo, Brooke! I still got my eye on you chica! Your ass was way too calm and resourceful for the timid, sheltered act that you're giving me...i know it could just be the final girl troupe coming out in you, but still, you're on my list!

And poor Trevor! You truly were just an innocent by-stander to all this f*ckshit and I'm sorry to see you go! I was really starting to dig your character. Oh well...and the next time I eat a PB&J sandwich, I'll think of you chef Bertie! Your sacrifice will not be in vain!

And Xavier, well..at least you're alive sweetheart, but I think my sweet protective baby boi is gone...especially after what i saw in next weeks promo! I don't see him coming out of this sane! Well at least Montana might get herself an extra partner if it goes there...

[cheesus-doodles]

Yo is it just me or does it make sense for yandere kokonoi (and maybe inui too) to keep a very close eye on darling's medical appointments and physical health? Cuz he definitely was traumatized when he lost akane... so i'm thinking he'd be the type to run them to the doctor's over a small fever- since he has those resources now, he'd want to use them every chance he can.

(idk it just reminded me of how i have an uncle who grew up in an area where it was really hard to find/buy shoes, so now that he lives in a better place, at least once a month he'll try to buy shoes for me. I think that koko might develop similar behavior but with medical stuff instead of shoes)

ah I do love me some Koko love. I've been feeling kind down this week :/ back here to escape again - hopefully life has been kind to yall :)

Masterlist

‎

Ahh definitely sounds like Koko (and to a lesser extent, Inupi, no matter how much this boy denies it). Being unable to pull through for Akane all those years ago, now that Koko had the means, this boy was determined that he would never fail you the same way. He was your bestfriend after all, and he would make sure that you were well-cared for at all times, that you would never have to suffer even a single moment (or rather, he would never have to suffer through the potential mental trauma of losing someone so precious to him again).

Started out as just him pouring over you, anxiously wringing his hands whenever you have a sniffle even if its after coming out of an air-conditioned environment - you go along with it and allow Koko to indulge, dragging you to the doctor's whenever, because you don't want him to have another nervous breakdown like when you refuse. Somehow manages to pull Inupi into this as well when he finally gets to meet you - you and your mannerisms and the way you treated him remind this boy too much of Akane for him not to get involved in your life.

Koko definitely has a team of private doctors on his retainer and on call 24/7, all of whom are very well certified and come highly recommended, yet even still he can't quite trust them to see you without him or Inupi present. What if they didn't know how to properly handle someone as fragile as you? What if these "doctors" tried to fool around with you, or tell you all sorts of lies about him and Inupi, or tried to help you run away? The two of them make sure that they are there the whole check-up session, insisting that they can help to remember what was said, that they were making sure the doctor treated you right, honestly anything to convince you to let them sit in. And if words didn't work, crying always did the trick.

But when you start insisting that you were okay, that you really didn't need all the fussing and would like to stop having to see doctors every other day so you had time to attend school and do literally anything else, Koko would instead very guiltily start making you feel sick. Nothing serious of course, just enough to make you feel maybe weak in the limbs, or giddy in the head, enough to 'help' you to agree to yet another doctor's visit. A mild case of vitamins or sugar deficiency, some stomach discomfort - symptoms that are easy to induce and easy to resolve. The two definitely do collude to make you weaker as time goes on though - still nothing that could actually harm you. But you were a lot more agreeable and malleable when you didn't have the strength to do much more than sleep and eat, plus Koko had the opportunity to get you to see even more doctors and have more check ups.

And Koko and Inupi 100% absolutely loves it when you were so dependent on him - Koko especially loves helping to draw your blood every day for all the various blood tests that he orders under the watchful eye of a trained nurse (and then later on by himself), loves helping you swallow the variety of pills that you get prescribed for your various symptoms together combined with all the supplements he makes you take. Inupi secretly enjoying helping to spoon feed you and gently lifting you out of bed and into a wheelchair (refusing to let you walk even if you said you were feeling okay after that one time you fell over), pushing you around wherever you needed to go. And you were happy to repay them in anyway you could, letting the boys cuddle with you whenever they wanted (since you spend most of the days sleeping anyway), freely handing out affection and attention.

Once you "started getting better" and recovered your strength, Koko and Inupi definitely throw you an enormous party to celebrate - a cause to celebrate given that you were also finally starting to listen to them and give in to their strict supervision and close monitoring of your health.

[sningo-prompts]

"Emmet having to pretend Ingo is just his pokemon while they're in the pokecenter drives him up the wall"

Ok but at least he's there for food poisoning, if he ever gets stuck there for a few days for non-food related reasons it'd be worse. If they think he's a pokemon, they'd probably give him standard pokemon food. As in kibble. From a bowl on the floor.

Oh lord ok ok calm down we got this its fine im fine. CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT THAT WOULD DO TO THE MAN????? ok ok im not fine im not.

But lord help him. Ok ok breathe. I can do this. “Prompts user has a mental breakdown at the idea of mentally scaring a man”

So i dont care why Ingo is at the center so im not doing set up today. But he has to stay there over night. Emmet is not ok. They wont let him stay too. Rude. So since Ingo is tectonically a wild pokemon he has to stay out the whole time. Have yall ever been to a vet??? Have you seen the small small small “kennels” they keep them in??? Ingo spending the night in one of those. Ok if you havent seen one imagine what they keep the cats in at pet stores. They are very small. Ingo doesnt do well in cages. But hes ok he knows where he his. Its what happens next that makes his stomach drop. The nurse comes by to feed everyone. She opens the door, pours a scoop of dry pokemon food in his bowl. She gives him a pet on the head “time to eat up little guy” he hates it. She closes the door and move on. Great im writing set up. Which i said i WOULD DO DAMN IT. Im ditching this. New set up move over

~~~~ moving over for new set up~~~~

Emmet and Ingo had been at the center all night. It was morning and Emmet left to see if he could find them something to eat. They hadnt eaten since the day befors breakfast. While hes gona a nurse comes in and hears Ingos stomach growl. She giggles at him. And leaves only to come back with two silver bowls. She places them on the floor. Pours a water bottle in one and pokemon food in the other. Ingo just looks at her confused. “Oh srent your adorable” she walks up to him pets his head then picks him up under the arms. His stomach growls agAin. She giggles at him again. “Lets get you something to eat shall we.” And moves to the side of the room. She sets Ingo down on the floor infront of the bowls. Then it clicks for him. She wants him to eat. Oh. Hes shaking. More like trembling. She leaves him (ok yall might think thats lazy of her but i had a dog sho would not eat with A stranger in the room)

He just sits there. Lost. His mind derailed. ‘I am Ingo i am human. I am Ingo i am humAN’ uh oh. What if he never gets his old body back. What hes stuck like this for the rest of his day. Oh boy What if Emmet gives up on him. This is his life now. Hes not even a person anymore. He cant do this. But then again he cant do anything. Hes a pokemon. No thats not right he is Ingo and he is Human. He stands there. Looking at the bowls. And what they mean. He doesnt know when the tears started falling. He doesnt think about that. His mind is lost on a track that just circles back around and around. He is Ingo and he is human.

Like five minutes later Emmet walks in loudly. Mild panic at not seeing Ingo right away. Frantically looks around. Sees his brother with his back to him looking st something on the floor. “Ingo?” Oh Ingo snaps back to reality(woop there goes gravity) slowly turning his head to face his brother. He has to look so high to meet Emmets gaze. That isnt helping. Emmet is just shocked at his brothers face. Then he sees why. Two silver bowls sit on the floor at his brothers feet. Emmet angry. “I am Emmet. You are Ingo My brother!” Ingo just looks down. Emmet walks up to him, kneels down to be face to face with Ingo. He places his hands on Ingos shoulders. “You are my brother. You are not some pet Ingo. You are human!” Ah Emmet said it. Exactly what Ingo needed to hear. A rush of a hug. Emmet just holds him. He knows his brother is struggling with this. Ingo faces his humanity everyday. If Emmet has to keep reminding Ingo hes still human than so be it. At least he feels like Ingo believes him.

Ok ok i kinda lost it. I know crap job. But like as i was going i forgot the angst. And why eating off. The floor from a bowl would kill the man. But i tried to round it back i just couldnt get it right. The idea of this kills me though. Poor fucking Ingo. The humiliation of it all. Maybe the shame? Idk but our lilman is having his midlife crisis. Idk the actual word for it.

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Can I have Present mic, Aizawa, and all might where they learn their young student is fatherless? Like... their father walked out/went to prison when they were young. I'm sorry if this is time consuming, but I can't stop sobbing over my father.

I'm the situation baby but remember it wasn't your fault

I changed it up a little bit with Mics- I hope you don't mind

Present Mic:

• from the getgo something was wrong

• The moment you walked into class he could tell

• You looked like shit

• Dark bags under your eyes, hair messily brushed, just to get it out if your face, and your eyes were a light red.

• You didn't look particularly happy to be there either

• something turns in his stomach, a gut feeling that something really had went down

• And he hated seeing his students upset

• but he was relatively close to you to begin with, his felt different

• He felt like he had to do something

• Everyone settled into their seats as the bull rung but his eyes remained on you

• You honestly didn't pay attention during the lesson

• He could tell as much

• class finishes and the bell rings but you sit still, and it's not until most of the students have trickled out of the room do you start packing up

• He walks over and kneels in front of the desk "You okay there? You don't look so good," he looks concerned and his heart drops when he sees your lip start to quiver

• It takes you 0.27 seconds to break and you're frantically wiping your eyes as sobs wrack your body

• He's got his arms wrapped around you in seconds and you're leaning into his shoulder.

• He isn't sure exactly how long you're crying for but eventually you calm down enough to get out a coherent sentence

• "My-My dad was arrested Friday night. He won't tell me why- he won't let anyone else tell me why and I don't know what else to do," you cry, "I miss him so much and its only been a few days- I don't- I don't have anyone else, Mr. Hazashi,"

• And you're crying again.

• He has you take the rest of the day off, in fact he takes the day with you

• He calls in a sub (you don't know what strings he had to pull for that but you don't ask, at this point you don't care) and you two dip

• He takes you to get food, real food, that'll make you feel better

• He knows that'll help a little

• and after that he takes you to get something sweet- that tends to help mood and blood pressure and anxiety

• So he does his best with you

• He nutures you the best way he knows how

• if you need anything and I mean ANYTHING this man has you covered

• He does his best to step up in any way he can

• first off he extends his assignment deadlines and cancels two tests. Who needs them anyway.

• And you eat lunch in his classroom because he can well tell you don't want to talk to anyone else right now

• He closes it off (seemingly) so in reality its just you and him

• He'll probably tell Aizawa too but on the downlow (just so he knows)

• When holidays roll around, the dorms close.

• In this case- he let's you stay with him. He has an extra bedroom. He doesn't want you to stay in an empty house.

• You also get his phone number (which you gladly use) for anything really

• Bored? He'll deliver some shitty puns.

• Confused about homework? Text him.

• having a mental breakdown? He's got you covered.

• You got memes? Please for the love of God send them to him.

• The dynamic eventually shifts to a VERY father daughter relationship.

• He knows he'll never replace your dad. He understands that wholeheartedly, but he wants you to have someone

• He actually gets a letter from your dad, thanking him for taking care of you

• but he really doesn't mind

Aizawa:

• He had a feeling that there was something going on at home. Or rather, a lack of something.

• He's dealt with it in the oast- with himself and with past students and current ones

• Shinsou

• I mean, aside from that fact whenever parents were mentioned, you'd either stiffen up or wrinkle your nose

• You didn't really like the subject of parents

• There was an essay prompt about parents (nothing too personal) nd you ended up writing it on the extinction of dinosaurs and why God fucked up instead

"It'd be absolutely stellar to see huge lizards roaming the earth and occasionally stepping on people, you know? Jurassic park was onto something."

• Man's couldn't even fail you on it because it was written v well

• Anyway, he doesn't pry too much. He just silently figures it out by process if elimination and pattern.

• He doesn't really care too much

• In the sense if it doesn't define you and he doesn't help you because he pities you

• he helps you because he seems potential

• He takes you under his wing with shinsou

• Yall spend a whole summer training

• And that's when it all came out

• It was an accident really.

• Shinsou was tired, exhausted really

• and when people get tired- that tired- sometimes they spout random shot they wouldn't usually say

• and thats what he did

• he went on about his home life

• and if he could, you could too right?? You could trust them.

• "My dad walked out when I was a kid. Little, like 3. I have a few pictures of him holding me, but I guess it wasn't enough. I don't have any desire to meet him. Not anymore. But it left me feeling like I did something wrong? I guess? Which I suppose is why I train. Because then I feel strong. Which is a good difference from how it usually feels."

• He knew it.

• He called it.

• He was right again.

• He reassures you that you are good enough, strong enough, and his decision to leave had nothing to do with you

• and when he saw you give him a soft smile, he warmed.

• I mean really, it only goes up from there

• he'll deny it, or grumble under his breath, but he seems you two as his own

• Like these aren't my kids but they are my kids

• When dorms close on holiday yall get to stay because that's where he lives too

• Like if you chose too

• he's not gonna force you to stay but if you don't want to go home, you don't have too

• He has that power

• He will buy you food

• all you gotta do is ask

• and he'll roll his eyes and grumble something he doesn't really mean, just secretly happy that you feel comfortable enough around him to ask for something

• lmao family group chat

S: 'Hey Mr. Aizawa I found this cat. Hold on lemme send a pic'

A: 'Dont need a pic. Bring him home'

Y: 'What if he's ugly??'

A: 'gremlin. Bring him home.'

Or

Y: 'Hey I saw this tweet that said 'kids be like watch this and do a half roundhouse spin kick clap and waste my fucking time' and it make me think of you.'

S: @ mr. Aizawa when he has to watch deku do sumn

Y: Lmaoooo like when he threw the baseball

S: LMAOO

A: Me watching you too try to figure out how to beat me in training

Y: Yikes bro

S: That was a rough one

• Does he regret giving you and shinsou his number??

• Maybe

• Not really

• Lmao super secret lunch movie days

• Every week on wendesday yall watch a movie. Usually it takes 2 or 3 days to watch the movie since lunch is only 70 minutes

• @ you accidently calling him dad one day and shinsou snickering but it stuck

• dadzawa lmaoo

Allmight:

• Man's has 2 underlings.

• You and Deku.

• Picked you up when he started teaching at UA

• Ion know let's say one day you popped off bc he said some dumb shit and you were like no sir that's clearly wrong

• schooled him in his own damn subject

• the other kids were like 😳

• what the fuck

• Anyway

• He see's you have potential

• And though he's not the best teacher, you seem to respond better to the way HE was taught

• So tbh its easier to teach you

• 'okay, now I want you to beat the shot out if that wall,'

'Okay lmao bet'

• Midoriya is like, hey mayhaps we should analyze the situation

• N ur like noe

• You just don't give a fuck

• about anything really

• other than moving up the ranks

• But even then- its not a super super big deal, you're just gonna do your best but you aren't gonna stress

• However he noticed a pattern w you (even before Midoryia brought it up to him)

• You don't let anyone in

• Midoryia knows a bit more than the other students but that's really only because he's always with you

• a good majority of the week he's w you

• but its not really a deep connection

• you don't rely on either of them

• You do your best to do things on your own.

• He knows midoryias life story

• he knows why he acts the way he does

• but he doesn't know why you do

• he has a gut feeling it could be the same as midoryia

• I mean he already had one kid who's dad dipped

• he'll surely be able to figure out you too??

• So he makes himself a promise that he'll figure it out and he'll become someone you trust

• And he does just that

• When you tell him about your nightmare of a family history he's like mm, makes sense

• but he's happy that you trust him!!!

• He's a BIG suckered for movie nights

• he's got popcorn, snacks, candy, chocolate, soda- he's prepared

• list of movies lined out all ready

• I lowkey feel like he'd be into lord of the rings or fast n furious

• fast n furious at LEAST

• He's really into American action movies

• and he has no problem sharing those movies with you

• he doesn't have a whole ton of money, like he's not rich, but if you or midoryia need something he's definitely there to get it for you

• even if ur like fam no you don't need too

• he'll buy yell food a lot

• a l o t

• and cards

• when you and midoryia get him a father's day card he thinks he's gonna cry

• You guys also have a group chat

• 'da faemilee'

• Y: "Hey dad do you have milk?"

A: "???? Do I have milk????"

Y: "ya I'm looking in your fridge n ion see any???"

A: "How'd you even get in????"

Y: "Izuku."

I: "lmaoo"

Or

Y: Izuku you dumb bitch I left for ONE day

Y: And you got into a fight with Bakugou

I: He wanted to throw hands. I just did what you would do.

A: He's got you there

Or

A: What do you guys want for dinner

I: Sushi

Y: Chicfila

Y: Izu square up

I: K

Or

Y: Izu is fighting kacchow again

A: Beat his ass young midoriya

Y: Lmaoooooo

[rosecoloredwriting]

Best Friend Tings~

A/N: This idea came to me and then boom! This might be a whole series of headcanons i got so many ideas bro!!!! 

Summary: Sometimes in life having a best friend is better than getting a s/o 

Pairings: Izuku Midorya x GN!Reader(Platonic), Katsuki Bakugou x GN!Reader(Platonic), Shoto Todoroki x GN!Reader(Platonic), Hitoshi Shinso x GN!Reader(Platonic)

Izuku Midoriya

We can see from the show he didn’t have any friends before u.a(katsuki doesn’t really count)

So boy must have been lonely before ua like todoroki

He nerded out by himself, no one else to talk to other than mama inko

So meeting you made his life better

he’s up to date on meme culture too

You slide in one vine reference during a convo ONCE when you met and he responds back subconsciously with his own

Instant connection

Like lightning strikes and you both just do the spiderman pointing at each other meme

Vine might be dead but that won’t stop you

Both of you start turning into beams of light

He gets sparkle eyes when you both don’t stop with the vine references

Numbers exchanged and you both find out to be major nerds for certain shows

Late nights are spent sending each other memes/videos and the next day you both are holding in fits of giggles

When the dorms are put in place pure chaos

Yall are inseparable 

There’s a lot of sneaking around because guess what you’re doing instead of sleeping 

watching✨✨TikToks✨✨

Or watching those Russian car crash videos

You go into a youtube deep dive at 3 am together

One brain cell is shared between you two ok

Deku squad are the vibes ok

Ilida can’t believe how 2 of some of the smartest people he knows can turn the exact opposite

“Ilida can you do us a favor? Would you be willing to run while holding us like balloons?”

“What are you talking about!?”

“Ilida me and (Y/N) thought of having Uraraka join us by making us float and have a rope tied around us with you running around!”

“As your class president I will not allow you to do such a thing-!” Cutting him off you turn to Izuku

“I told he wasn’t gonna say yes.” Sighing in disappoint.

“Should we try Kacchan?” 

“I’ll do the talking got it!” You leave behind a dumbfounded Ilida wondering why his friends can be so smart yet do such stupid actions.

Do not be fooled though

You call out izuku when necessary, you both may be chaotic with one another but like hell!!!! you’ll let him slip up because you’re besties and actually have brain cells(sometimes)

From the glare you’re sending him he feels like a disappointment because he caused his bestie trouble and worry

In conclusion: Yall are ride or die

Were talking the strength of the pillars of those temples in Greece

Katsuki Bakugo

It kinda just happened before the classes eyes

Like no one gets how bakugo manages not to blast your eardrums everyday

He just somehow sees you’re genuinely trying to be friends with him and get to know him

At first, he thought you were some extra following him like the rest of Baku squad at first and somehow saw that you don’t see him godly or anything you just really enjoyed being around him

Slowly you both understand one another

He’s kinda scared cause I don’t think bakugo has ever been like close close with someone before

So it’s slow like his friendship with Kiri

Speaking of Kiri cause this is a package deal if your friends with bakugo

You both will just watch him when someone pisses him off 

“Someone tried to test him right,” you said while passing Kirishima a water bottle. Coming back from the vending machine.

“Yeah he did” he replies deadpanning at Bakugou’s antics

You may be mostly a duo but its also a trio sometimes

So when he gets captured there’s a 50/50 chance that he will come to you

you managed to get knocked out during the attack so seeing one another safe really just lifts the blanket of fear off

So when the dorms come in he will barge into your room and start up your console and play

This distraction won’t last long cause at some point he just sits there stuck in his head

He holds back tears but you just help him through

Really just strengthens your bond

From then on he comes to you and he’s very vague on details but you just comfort him

somehow you both from this experience learn how to read what the other is feeling

If you have something going on the perceptive as ever bakugo will see and somehow do the thing that just gives you a boost, he’s not either an intimate or verbal guy

He’s trying his best alright

The same goes for you in bakugo accept your just a tad slower and use your words instead 

Best friend soulmate ✨✨tings✨✨

One of your past times is either playing fighting games or just relaxing in his room

Like you both will lay on the ground, speaker blasting, taking turns putting on songs

Feeling the vibrations 

Its how the aggressive boy cools down/relaxes

Being angry all the time is tiring

One time you were in a room with someone as they insulted bakugou

Right in your face not only did you defend your best friend but you also whooped some ass that day

Conclusion: the best friends that just get each other 

Shoto Todoroki

(If you’re an endeavor stan I don’t know what to tell you for this one)

Now hear me out on this

You find Endeavor hilarious

He is just the funniest person to you

Like just looking at him makes you cackle

So when todoroki fights midoriya and he used his fireside everyone was shocked because no one has seen him use it yet!!

But when you see endeavor on the other side of the stadium scream “SHOTOOOOO!” you burst out full-on laughing!!! WHEEZING IF YOU MAY!! Like do you not see his face

When he came back to the stands you just turned to him holding in a laugh

“Hey, Todoroki how are you so serious all the time with your dad looking like that all the time?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Don’t get me wrong he was pissed because like baby just had a mental breakdown but this type of comment is new to him

“Don’t you see how ridiculous he looks with those flames of him like damn. Of all the places! Why his fckin calves!!!!! Like what kind of egotistical man does that”

Todoroki hates his dad so you bashing him really opens up doors for you

Now to me, I think todoroki throws insults at everyone without even knowing himself

Like under his breath he will say a comment you will catch it and hold in a laugh

So you bashing his father made you an a+ in his book

And so the duo begins

Since todoroki does insult people without knowing you are there to be his audience

You will stifle and hold in giggles and laughs as you stand right next or behind him

Once he realized this he subtly increases the amount he says on the daily(These arent basic insults either but they aren’t harmful, plain fun ok)

One time your laughing got to the point Aizawa threatened to separate you two

But still, you helped cracked the boy’s frozen heart

Lots of hugs though cause the boy needs it

Once you’re close enough in the friendship you jump and hug the boy in surprise

Gets a little startled but loves the gesture cause guess what yall are besties

Opening his door, Todoroki meets the sight of you holding a pile of food. Ready for movie night. Quickly placing it down on the coffee table you jump and give him a hug. He stumbles a moment before he wraps his arms around your waist.

“Why are you hugging me? We saw each other all day.”

“Just thought you needed it.” Mumbling a thank you you go to the coffee table. The surface spilling with bags of snacks.

“I have my soba and more if you want any. I even got those candies you like.”

“Really! Thanks Sho-kun! I also got those chips you really enjoyed the last time. So you ready?” With a hum you both sit down opening the food you'll be eating for the rest of the night. Grabbing the remote Shoto hits play, the screen lights up to show the Disney logo.

Many movie marathons and binge-watching nights because you need to show him so much

When these hangouts happen you have hardcore munches together

You both will have a buffet of food because boy does he love his soba and you love to do to bring an entire pile and bag full of food

Just appreciates you and all you do for him

Will definitely sneak in really expensive gifts to you

Loves to watch Disney movies with you 

Conclusion: you are the best friend he needs, he wouldn’t have you any other way

Hitoshi Shinso 

Both of you met in gen studies class

At this point, everyone in the class knew one another names and stuff and when word got to you of his quirk oh boy

He was minding his business sitting in his desk

Slightly wishing he was dead or wanting to vibe at home

But here you come strutting on over and say hi to him

He was kinda nervous cause everyone knew his quirk and just got all those villain comments

You just talk and say how cool his quirk is and he’s like ‘aw shit here we go again’

Instead, you just ask why he isn’t in the hero course

Like his quirk amazing for that shit

He’s shocked alright

So you both just stick together

You are his wild friend taking him on adventures as he complains saying he would rather watch a movie or do something

Low key in on your plans 

He trusts you with his life so don’t take advantage of that

Teases you on a regular basis

Is the type of friend where if he makes fun of or teases you 

You’re his friend

at the sports festival, you treat him to lunch because he deserves it!!!!

He made it to the last round

And fought MIDORIYA!!!

“You don’t have to do this you know.” Dragging Hitoshi around the food stands he tries his best to stop you from doing this. Even if it’s your treat he rather pay himself.

“Hitoshi I swear if you don’t just pick what you want for lunch I’m fighting you.”

“I’m being serious you don’t have too. I didn’t even win against him.” You come to a halt both hands on his shoulders. Looking him in the eye you reassure him.

“You may not have won but you made it to the 3rd round. Do you know how amazing that is! A general studies student made it that far! You did that! You showed everyone we might as well be just as good as the hero course students! As your best friend to, I must treat you for this accomplishment.” This time he grabs your wrist. Pulling you around until he sees a food stand that peaks his interest. A soft smile on his face happy to call you his friend and to have someone care for him like you do.

He is the reason why you're an insomniac now

When you blame him for your sleeping schedule he just says in the deepest and seductive voice “it was part of the plan”

Makes you want to punch that handsome face of his(but you wouldn’t you love the boy too much)

Sometimes you guys sneak cats in like your dorms just somehow manage to have cats in them

The fur is everywhere but their you fur babies

You both spend your time playing board games and sometimes inviting the deku squad cause Hitoshi has a pretty chill relationship with Izuku(plus their too social for their own good)

So things become waaaaaaaay more lively

Both of your social batteries though are completely empty

There is late-night cuddling though as weird as it sounds

when you take turns slipping in one another’s dorm you both manage to hug like it’s super platonic and just find it comforting waking up to one another

the bond so strong that you protect one another even when you sleep

Conclusion: the besties that mess around one another but are like this🤞

[aerixlee]

Hi, I love After Sunset and have reread it multiple times lol. I wanted to ask if you had any particular method to writing Azula for the fic? I usually don't like the more off the rails depictions of her in fiction but something about the way you write her is viscerally enjoyable to me.

*shows up 3 months later with no hesitation bc getting this ask made me vibrate out of existence with excitement* hello :)

the timing for this ask couldn't have been any better - it genuinely made me so unbelievably happy to read? this exact topic is one of the main things i was (am?) worried about in after sunset, specifically that i wasn't doing it right. i've been nervous since the very beginning that i was writing azula in ways that was difficult to read but fuck this is such a fantastic question and i'm so excited to answer it - this is going to be.... a really really long answer. i definitely got a little (a lot) carried away. sorry in advance lmao

(also it never fails to make me emotional when i hear that people are still rereading) (i might've cried a lil) (just a bit) (i can't believe people haven't forgotten about this fic) (to everyone who has stuck around: i love you more than anything)

for context, i put like..... a lot of thought into how i was going to go about writing azula. like i have pages and pages of notes analyzing her so i could write her character properly and do her justice - i still think i could've done a better job, but it was important to me that i at least do my best. my main thing when i was writing azula was keeping in mind that she is a 14 year old, a child, one who has been the victim of an extreme amount of abuse and emotional manipulation. i posted a response to a comment under chapter 15 back in january that asked for writing advice regarding azula that i think sums up my thoughts fairly well if you want to take a look at it. azula is a traumatized teenager first and foremost; she's not going to accept help easily or trust anyone easily, and i planned her arc out in a way that has multiple ups and downs. it really does get worse before it gets better, and if i end up writing more for this fic, i can promise that the worst has yet to come. we're nowhere near the height of azula's arc yet, and i don't even mean that in a dramatic breakdown sort of way. this has been part 234978 of me wishing that i could skip ahead in my own fic so i could post the scenes that were written months before we even reached the search......... kill me

and i said this in my comment: progress isn't possible unless the person who needs to heal is willing to heal. force doesn't work, coercion doesn't work - it has to be a decision that the person in question makes in order for them to actually take steps forward. healing isn't linear. neither is progress. that's the most important thing to keep in mind.

azula's breakdowns were definitely the most emotionally taxing parts about writing her. i personally tend to avoid reading fics that show azula's breakdowns to the extent that i wrote them for some reason? and i was very hesitant to write it myself, so i was really really careful in how i approached it. i didn't want to take things too far, but i also knew that i had to push the boundaries of what i tackled a lot more than i already was. i needed to show how bad she was getting, not just tell it, and i needed to justify the reason behind each moment of her behavior. not sure if i did it right, but i tried.

(as a side note, i wrote a lot of this fic during a time in which things were uhhhh not so great mentally for me, so azula and zuko are written in a way that is very very close to my heart. that could also have something to do with the way scenes are written, so i thought it was worth mentioning.)

azula is an incredibly calculated individual. her breakdowns, by contrast, show her doing things out of pure instinct, doing what she "wants" to do rather than what she's put a lot of thought into doing. and that fascinated me to no end when i was reading the comics; i thought the authors' approach was really interesting despite some of the less favorable aspects of her portrayal. in other words: catharsis!!!!! i wrote those scenes to be cathartic to azula specifically!!!!! not for the reader, not for me as the writer: for azula, the character, and what that meant for her in the scene and the moment - especially within a larger context. and it was so so so fucking emotionally draining to write, but that's what it was. i did my best to ramp up the emotional intensity to the max, and i also tried to make sure that every single thing that azula said or did had that element of reasoning behind it. because yeah, she's not thinking everything through like she would if she wasn't in full breakdown mode, but she's still azula. and azula doesn't do anything without reason, even if those reasons are superficial and weird and vaguely questionable. i tried to make sure that nothing azula did or said was without motive, and i'm not quite sure if i managed to pull it off, but hey, that was my goal.

hopefully all of that makes sense? i'm not quite sure if it does or not but i could genuinely talk about this fic for hours. i might be writing other things now, and i might be mortified by the absolutely horrible writing of the earlier chapters, but i will still talk forever about literally anything with this fic. that's a threat and a promise.

i reread some comments and looked through my inbox bc of this ask and now i'm emotional lmao wow i miss this fic and you all sm. also specifically to anon: i hope this answered your question! and if you wanted clarification on anything, feel free to shoot me another ask - i know a few things here are probably a little confusing lmao i was rambling a lot out of excitement. and thank you again for the ask!!

anyways. love yall <3

[random-mha-thoughts]

Bully Part 2 (Bakugou x Reader)

Pairing: Bakugou x Reader

Genre: Crack, fluff, slight angst, Baku-having-feelings-and-being-soft (bc that's totally a genre)

Sequel to Bully (part 1)

Word count: 2,319

Tags:  @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog

a/n: This ended up being longer and slightly more emotional than I expected.  Seems like I’m following the trend of getting the BNHA boys to say what’s really on their minds (I’ve already done this for Todoroki in case you were wondering), so Baku will be ooc and soft here.

This came out later than I intended because...let’s just say I was having a mental breakdown over a really long and really naughty Todo fic here and I ended up calling my little cousin and crying and laugh-crying and shaking and losing my collective mind because none of my friends would know what I was going through.  And I was in no headspace to write fluff afterwards, she had to force fluff headcanons into me to go back to normal.  Yall should thank her.  Enjoy~

None of us had any idea how or why Bakugou suddenly started acting this way.  Apparently, he was completely normal until I walked in.  All I did was open the door to the classroom, my gaze just so happened to land on Bakugou, and suddenly I heard loud stomps towards me.

I held out a defensive hand, ready to shoot out branches at him if he got too close.  "Bakugou-" I threatened.  And he did the unthinkable.  He gripped me in a choke hold around my shoulders and neck.

Actually, no.  He...hugged me?

My clenched fists and the hush that fell over the rest of the students told me this is the first time all day he's done something out of character, something I definitely wasn't expecting.  We hadn't talked since I almost jumped out of a window last week.  This entire week, he was ignoring me.  I was preparing for the day he would finally confront me, and I pictured it would be an aggressive encounter.

This is far from anything I'd imagined.

I never ever thought this porcupine-head could even show affection, that he even has a single gene of softness in him.  Yet he was embracing me tightly, nuzzling his face in my neck.  The shock of it all made me freeze up and cast a sideways glance at Midoriya, who was just as freaked and confused.

"Get off, Bakugou, what are you-"

The boy lifted his head up, his scarlet eyes softened into fondness and a gentle smile on his lips made the rest of my words catch in my throat.  This entire expression was foreign to all of us.  His face can look like that?

"I missed you over the weekend."

My jaw dropped.  HIS VOICE CAN SOUND LIKE THAT??  The smooth and sweet honey tone was way out of character for him.

But like hell I trusted any of this.

I wiggled my arms up to push his weight off me.  "I don't know how you managed to become such a great actor," I succeeded in separating from his vice grip, "But if you think disorienting me like this can be some sort of revenge, you're sorely mistaken."

Bakugou tilted his head, resembling a sad puppy.  "What do you mean?"

I straightened my uniform.  "Nice try, I know you're just acting so you can, like, throw me off the building or something."

That seemed to hurt him, his jaw gaping open before holding my face in his calloused hands.  "I'd never do that to you."

I quickly swatted his hands away, wary that he was about to blow my face off.  "Don't. Touch. Me."

The boy froze in place, then rubbed the back of his neck.  Regret seeped through his eyes as he stared at the ground.  "I'm sorry, about everything."

A strange warmth rushed through me.  Something about how genuinely vulnerable he looked shook my entire being.

"I just...really wanted you to give me a chance all this time, but I went about it the wrong way."  He encased me into another bone-crushing hug.  "But I want to make up for it."

I felt a thud in my chest,  probably from fear that he might hurt me.

At that moment, the teacher walked in.  "Alright everyone, take your seats."  He noticed Bakugou's position, gawked for a second, and cleared his throat.  "Uh, Bakugou, let go of (L/n) and take your seat."

"I dare any of you extras to yank me off, I'll blast you into next week!"

He's back, kind of?

Nobody made a move to do anything, they were all frozen by the sight of Bakugou clamped onto me like a koala.

"I'll survive...somehow," I assured them, unsure myself how exactly I would do that.

For the entire rest of class, the boy clung onto me.  He had taken over the seat of the person who normally sat on my left and scooted the chair over so he can stay attached to me.  Though I reasoned for him to hold onto just my arm (since he wouldn't let go no matter how many times I asked), he hugged my waist with both of his arms, face buried in my neck.  I was just glad he left one arm for me to write notes with.

If this was just an act, he did a splendid job of keeping it up.  I thought he would've given up after an hour or two, but he stayed like that even after lunch until the end of the day.  Anytime anyone would even walk past us, he would glare at them until they scurried off.

It was super weird at first, but I got used to the arrangement somehow.  I hate to admit it, but I even felt comfort by his warmth.  His breath tickled my neck as his solid arms held me in a vice grip.  I found myself hoping this wasn't acting, and thanking whatever miracle made this happen.  This was never going to happen again, I might as well enjoy it for now.

.

"Back off, you damn Deku!"  He bares his teeth at the cowering Midoriya, still attached to me at the hip.

I sigh, finally fed up with this whole ordeal.  "Midoriya, I'll handle this, I'll call later."

The poor broccoli boy nods and scampers away from us.  Bakugou insists on not letting go until I'm home safe, even when I repeated that I live in the opposite direction as him.  He won't even let Midoriya near me.

I lead us both over to a bench outside of school.  I'm still not convinced that this isn't an act, but I might as well try to talk to him after the incident last week.  "Get off," I order, scooting over to one side of the bench.  When he doesn't obey, I add, "I wanna talk, so I need to see your face."

After a brief moment of hesitation, he eases off my body, rolling up to sit facing me with a leg propped up on the seat.  A dumb smile is on his face.

God, that still freaks me out.  I stare at him calculatingly.  He hasn't said a word to me the whole day, only barking at other students as he holds onto me.  I want answers.  "You're sure this isn't some stupid revenge plot to get back at me?"

He shakes his head, propping his arm up on the seat and resting his head there.  His wordless, lovestruck stare probing me.

I sputter, "Why are you acting this way then?"

"I like you."

I almost choke at his quick response, my chest throbbing again.  "S-Stop looking at me that way, I can't take you seriously!  I admit, it's freaking me out!"

"My feelings freak you out?" he says sweetly, brushing the side of my face softly.

I slap his hand away, "You don't have feelings for me, just drop the act already!"

His smile disappears.  "It's not an act, I'm being serious."  Hurt laces his voice.

I cross my arms over my chest.  "Yeah, well, it's very hard to take you seriously when you've been a heartless, pompous, mean jerk for all of middle school."

Bakugou's eyes downcast and his arm falls into his lap.  "I...I don't know how else to show how I feel."  Raw emotion drips from his eyes as he bites his lip, almost like he's gathering his thoughts.  "I act like a jerk because...  I just feel so pressured.  Everyone expects so much of me just because my quirk is so strong."  A dark chuckle emits from him, "Even my mom has ingrained it in me that I need to be strong so I don't burden anyone with being weak.  So I've been projecting my frustrations onto everyone else.  Deku is just the easiest person to pick on because he's the weakest person, he has no quirk!  And I'm just self-centered because I have to tell myself that I'm strong or else...I might slip.  Call it an inferiority complex, I guess."

I won't lie, I didn't go into this expecting a therapy session.  Part of me does sympathize with him, but the rational side of me is still skeptical of this entire monologue being an act.  I wouldn't put it past him for thinking up such an elaborate plan in a week.  And none of it excuses him for telling Midoriya to kill himself.  "Not that I don't believe you, but so what?" I blurt out.

He grabs my hand in both of his, eyes fully emotional and staring into mine.  "I like you, (Y/n).  I see how kind you are to everyone else, how you've stayed by Deku and supported him this entire time.  I admire you.  You're the kind of person who I know would become a great hero because you always know just what to say to people to make them feel better, not to mention you're so badass too.  And...in a way, there's something in me that wants you to care about an idiot like me, too."

Tightness tugs in my chest.  Damn it, he needs to stop being so emotional, I can't handle it.  "I want to help you, Katsuki, but what you said to Midoriya crossed a line.  I can't overlook that."

His head drops onto our joined hands and his body starts shaking.  "Damnit!" he grits out, "I can't believe I've done so much wrong that the person I like can't even forgive me."

I shut my eyes, not wanting to see him cry.  "Katsuki-"

Bakugou's head snaps up and takes my head between his hands.  "Do you even have the smallest feeling for me?"  His red orbs swim in tears.

A soft spot in my heart persuades me to gently rub the wet trails off his cheeks.  "I'm...not sure."  I won't lead him on, I really don't know how I feel anymore.  It's that I hate him, I don't like the things he says or does.

"Help me, (Y/n)," he practically begs, "I'll become a better person, I promise, but I need you to guide me, please."

This sudden magnitude of emotion other than anger disorients me.  Is this something he's kept locked away somewhere in the recesses of his mind?  I absently nod in agreement against some of my better judgement.

His shaking form steadies as he stares me down quietly.  "Can I...kiss you?" he whispers out of the blue.

My lips slightly part and my eyes widen as he leans into me, softly pressing his mouth against mine.  Our kiss is innocent, as if time just stood still and washed a warm glow on us.  My stomach flips weightlessly, and I gently grip one of his wrists to ground me.  He pulls away just for a moment, letting us linger in the moment and sensation of one another.

His eyes flutter open, facing me with the same loveliness he's showed me all day, before confusion suddenly dawns on him, and then his cheeks color red and he pulls away, almost retreating to the other edge of the bench.

I blink, not sure what just happened, but the tumbling in my abdomen still present.  "Uh...Bakugou...?"

The boy doesn't even want to face me.  "Did I really just do that?" he mutters to himself, the raspy growl that's more characteristic of him returning.

My heart sinks.  "Do you-?"

"Hey, don't look so upset," he glares at me before flushing again.  "I...somehow...know everything I did...  It was me...but it wasn't...really me."

"But everything you said-"

He growls and crosses his arms over his chest, looking away from me.  "Everything I said was true!  I just... I'm surprised I did it, and I was such a pansy about it."

I roll my eyes.  He's back, for real this time.  "Well, if that's the case, I won't hold you accountable-"

"Wait," Bakugou sighs, running a hand through his hair.  "I stand by everything I said, even the whole...thing...about you helping me."  It almost hurts him to say it.

I fold my arms over my chest and stand up.  "You don't have to force yourself to be good if you don't want to.  Things can go back to the way they were."

"I don't want it to!" he yells.  "I'll work at being less of an idiot if it means...that you'll...go out with me."

I examine him, all red-faced and uncomfortable, unable to look me in the eyes.  "I'm not gonna go easy on you."

He stands up and finally garners the courage to look at me again.  "I'm willing.  I'll try hard, I promise."

After thinking it over a moment, I relax my figure and place a kiss on his cheek.  "That's your reward for consciously admitting that you have a problem."

Bakugou's eyes bulge out of his head and I have to suppress my chuckles.  "Will there be more rewards?" he mumbles.

"Only if you really try."  I lean forward, catching him off guard and finally letting out a small fit of laughter.  "You know for most of the day, you were hanging onto me like I was you handbag, now you're shying away from me."

He scratches his burning neck.  "Hey, that wasn't me."

"It was a you that probably showed your deepest darkest wants," I tease, a smirk playing on my lips.

"Sh-Shut up, don't be so smug about it!"  He lightly shoves me away, digging his hands into his uniform pants pocket.  "You're the one asking for it because you liked it, stupid."

"Ah-ah," I hold up a finger like a teacher reprimanding a kindergardener.  "First thing is for you to stop calling people names."

He groans.  "Fine.  (Y-Y/n)."  His cheeks color all over again.

I slip my hand in his and his blush intensifies.  "Was that so hard to do?"

"Shut up," he mumbles softer this time.

He's a fixer-upper, he's still got a lot to learn, but hopefully, he'll get there eventually.

[missorgana]

how fast the night changes

pairing: alex/willie, background julie/luke

fandom: julie and the phantoms

rating: general

word count: 2244

warning: swearing, referenced homophobia (very brief)

summary: "I think it's brilliant." Reggie tells him. "Brilliant?" Alex deadpans, "You think asking Domino's to send your cutest delivery guy is brilliant?" (an ‘everyone is alive’ AU, seen on this post)

(i am once again late to an event, but here’s my fic for @jatp-week! i really kinda mixed the prompts of day 2 and 3, but nevertheless, i found a cute and hilarious au and had to write it 💖 hope yall enjoy!!)

read on ao3

“I can’t write that, Luke!”

“Yes, you can, dude! Trust me.”

Alex hates his friends. So much.

Okay, no, they’re wonderful and crazy and planned him a birthday party, so maybe he can’t really hate them.

But they’re real close to the limit right now.

Because after much not so civil discussion of pizza toppings, they’re about to order, and suddenly Luke makes a turn back to the topic of Alex’s love life.

Sounds weird, he knows.

But Luke and Reggie, who he’s almost known since birth (well, in spirit, at least), have a minor obsession with setting him up with someone.

He’s always been admittedly socially awkward, so Alex knows the boys are doing it out of love, and they wouldn’t ever make him uncomfortable.

Well, intentionally, anyway. Their insistent wingmen roles suit them, while being perpetually annoying.

And Flynn loves to join in a bit too much for Alex’s liking.

Julie’s more indifferent to this topic of discussion, because she’s an angel. Credit for settling ninety percent of their squabbles goes directly to her, but since her and Luke finally started dating, they’ve been dragging her to their side.

Goddammit.

Alex is currently staring at his best friend in disbelief, and while their advice makes sense most of the time, this is just outrageous.

“I think it’s brilliant,” Reggie tells him from the bean bag, in possession of the tv remote, which he’s been zapping through movies with for an insane amount of time, “and can we order, already? I’m starving.”

Julie’s been an angel, once more, by hosting the surprise party for Alex. And he totally didn’t cry when they revealed themselves. Nope.

The boys hugged him, to the point of them all cuddling on the floor before the girls claimed their own Alex-time, and really, emotions everywhere.

This is also less than a month since Alex came out to them, and to be honest, it was the scariest thing he’s ever done.

That’s why he loves them so much. They’re the first people he’s ever told, not even his parents, and he’s not sure when he’ll do that.

Religion’s always been strict at home, and he’s pretty sure having an openly gay son might give his dad a heart attack.

Alex can’t bear the thought of rejection from his own family. He’s got a family here, though. And this is safety.

“Brilliant?” he deadpans, Reggie clearly not understanding the absolute embarrassment this could only result in, “You think asking Domino’s to send your cutest delivery guy is brilliant?”

His friend only replies with a wild gesture of arms.

“Can’t believe I’m saying this, but I agree.” Flynn speaks up, and Julie shook her head with a smile.

“I wouldn’t call it brilliant,” she adds, just about saving Alex’s heart, until, “but I kinda wanna see who they send.”

“Julie!”

“What?!”

“Forget it, drummer boy! She’s on our side!”

The boys laugh, and my God, they’re the worst. He can’t be mad at these idiots, which is why he simply rubs his temples. No additional notes, then.

“Okay, so, if we forget that and everyone’s happy with that many toppings, then-” and really, Alex is mere seconds from the pay button, till his phone is grabbed from his hands too quickly for him to react.

Luke is the absolute worst.

“Hey! Give it back!” he really tries, really, jumping towards his best friend, who laughs, with Flynn eagerly holding him back, “Don’t you dare, Luke!”

“Dare what?” he replies innocently, and suddenly, his phone is back, and a white screen tells him Thanks for your order.

So not only did his stupid romantic of a friend write exactly the note he protested against, but as if it weren’t enough, he added a winky smiley, too.

Alex is done with wingmen, done with love. Nope, never doing that. Ever.

Except it’s done now, and they all got a smug expression on their faces, except Julie, of course, with her apologetic eyes, and man, he just wants to hide forever.

He’s giving Luke his best stink eye, which he has too much puppy eyes to do, Flynn told him, and his friend rubs his shoulders assuringly, “Alex, what’s the worst that could happen? Either you get the cute guy’s number, or if he’s not cool, you’ll play it off as a prank, or something.”

Alex just shakes his head.

And Reggie’s stopped zapping, landing on The Empire Strikes Back, like he hasn’t seen it about 300 times before.

“I hate you.” he tells them simply.

Reggie grins like an asshole from the beanbag, “You could never.”

It’s especially annoying because he’s sort of right. And really, it’s not like Alex can turn back time now, so even though he’ll definitely get them back for this, somehow, there’s not much else to do than wait.

Fifteen minutes pass by where Luke and Julie hog the couch to themselves, Yoda’s hitting R2D2 with a stick, and Flynn obsesses over just how many different snacks they need.

Reggie decides to abandon the bean bag, too, and rest his head on Alex’s shoulder instead, so maybe it makes it all okay.

And so when twenty minutes have gone by along with throwing popcorn at the television, and Alex intensely quizzing Julie on what kind of birthday cake they got him, the doorbell rings, and the living room bursts into a tantrum.

His friends jump all around him, because of course, they want him to answer the door, which he’s refusing, but they seem too excited to listen when this ridiculous plan of theirs is reaching its peak.

Luke’s holding his shoulders again, “Answer it!”

“I mean, this is technically Julie’s house-” Reggie manages, surprisingly, but Flynn looks at him with disapproval, “Don’t switch sides now, man!”

But Alex is already at the door, suddenly, somehow, in the midst of the discussion.

He doesn’t really see the point in protesting now, anyway, and Julie pinches Luke’s side, redeeming her in his heart. Also, he can’t help touching his hair, cause that’s what happens when he’s nervous.

“I promise, Alex, you’ll be fine!” she looks excited too, but like, secretly.

They all nod in unison, too, dorks.

And so he mentally prepares himself for possibly the most awkward experience in his life. Dramatic, he knows, but seriously, will this exchange be anything other than painful? He doubts it.

Is it too much to hope for, that the delivery guy doesn’t see the notes? Maybe it’s just the boss who handles the orders, yeah, that’s not impossible. Right?

But as much as Alex is prepared for the embarrassing conversation ahead, he’s certainly, in no way prepared, as it turns out, for seeing who’s standing on the other side of the door.

The delivery guy. Well, obviously, stupid brain, but listen.

Alex is met with the cutest guy he’s ever seen. And he’s met a lot of cute guys, albeit they’re all in the same small town, but come on.

In short, let’s say Domino’s delivered more than they asked for.

And uh, yes, Alex realises the irony. Reggie would love that joke, he thinks to himself, hysterically, actually.

So, said delivery guy standing in front of him is a bit shorter, and, of course, he’s wearing uniform, cap and winter jacket, in this god forbidden weather, but he notices the strands of dark hair framing his face immediately.

And the red, dangling earring on his right ear. And his cheekbones, oh my god.

There’s no way he’ll tell his friends any of that once this is over.

Said friends are snickering in the background, by the way, or well, Reggie is, anyway. He prays they’ve moved slightly behind the door, or turned back to the couch, or anywhere out of sight.

“Hey, man!” the shorter boy says, while Alex is suffering an internal breakdown, “It’s, uh, 10 pizzas for ya, right?”

And so he nods tight lipped as an answer, because honestly, he’s not sure he’s capable of forming words right now. As if he wasn’t already embarrassed enough. Super mega cute delivery guy lifts an eyebrow, just enough that it’s noticeable, but he doesn’t voice whatever thoughts passed his mind.

Bless him.

That is, until Alex gets all the cash out (with a tip, hopefully making his shift a bit more bearable, when he has to deal with something like this), and he suddenly asks, “So, am I alright?”

Alex thinks his brain might have an immediate shut down. “What?” he sputters, and his voice totally doesn't squeak, shut up.

Cute delivery guy giggles. That’s just not fair, is it?

“Am I cute enough, I mean.”

That- oh my god. First of all, said boy doesn’t look tired, or annoying, or weirded out, judging by his expression.

Second of all, he looks to the ground for a second, but really, his posture is all confidence. Except he bites his lip, which gives Alex a headache.

“I, uh…” he starts, like he actually knows to finish the sentence, “Sorry, uhm. My friends. They’re ridiculous.”

“Oh.”

Alex expects more, but he doesn’t continue.

Is his mind playing games with him, or does cute delivery guy actually look… disappointed?

No, that can’t be right. He can’t be flattered by a customer note, which, by the way, did the boss decide who to send? Did the Domino’s delivery, or whatever, have a collective vote?

Alex truly doesn’t understand the chaos his friends get him into, sometimes.

He has to admit, it’s not half bad, given that he’s getting food and looking at a cute guy. And actually talking to him. That’s a first.

So, not having much time to weigh his options, he gives the shorter boy the money and tries his hand with damage control, “I mean, uhm, it’s my birthday. Sorry, my friends are obsessed with setting me up with someone, so here we are. I-I’m so sorry, I… and they! Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Super mega cute delivery guy nods along with Alex’s anxious spiel.

And then he smiles, but somehow it looks less like a customer service smile, and more like… a real one? Warmer. He doesn’t really know.

Alex is an absolute wreck, so he’s scared to get his hopes up. Cute guy still thinks he’s a weirdo, probably. More so now.

“Seriously, don’t worry man.” he answers, in what Alex feels is an eternity later, “And happy birthday! Damn, you should’ve put that in the order. We got specials.”

And fuck, he’s so cute. Almost looks genuinely excited, and so he can’t help but giggle. Nervously. It’s the Alex way, as Flynn says.

“Thanks.” he tells him, and he hopes to God he isn’t blushing right now.

The guys will never let him forget this day, he’s sure.

Transaction’s pretty much straightforward then, and his dork friends actually show themselves and help get the pizzas (and three soda sixpacks, seriously, Luke?) into the living room.

Reggie elbows him with a smirk, too, the idiot.

Thing is, that’s out of the way too, and there’s pretty much zero reason for super mega cute delivery guy to be here anymore. His scooter certainly doesn’t look empty of goods just yet.

Yet, he lingers. 

Only for a few seconds, before he catches Alex completely off guard with another question, “So, you don’t want a cute delivery guy?”

There’s no way in hell he isn’t blushing right now, holy shit.

It just makes Alex feel even more like a puddle of goo, because the shorter boy bites his lip again.

And because his mouth is even more stupid than his nerves, “I, uh, I-I mean… Yes. Well, I got one.” blurts out before he can stop it.

This leads to super mega cute delivery guy raising his brows, putting his hands in his pockets, and putting a stupid grin on his face.

Alex is so lost so quick, oh my god.

“You think I’m cute?” he asks, almost sounding surprised, which is possibly the most ridiculous thing tonight, because look at him!

He can’t help looking at his feet, because surely, he must be blushing beyond belief. And the shorter boy tilts his head just a bit, not losing eye contact completely.

Seriously, can he stop being this cute? Alex might just combust soon.

“I mean… obviously.” he tries, shrugging and fixing his hair, “I, well, Domino’s certainly delivered. Oh my god, uh, that’s just terrible. I’m so sorry.”

When Alex finally straightens up again, super mega cute delivery guy smiles at him, exposing his dimples, and that just makes him feel even more things. If that was even possible right now.

“You’re adorable.”

Okay, now, what is actually going on.

He blinks rapidly, like this is a figment of his imagination that’ll disappear in front of him, except the shorter boy grabs the receipt and scribbles something.

And he sticks his tongue out a little bit when writing, like there wasn’t enough cute things about him already, fucking hell.

Next thing Alex knows, he’s handed the slip of paper again, with something at the top that looks quite a lot like a phone number.

Cutest delivery guy, he had signed it off.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

“Name’s Willie, by the way,” super mega cute delivery tells him, ultimately turning back to the long awaiting red scooter, butnot without a wink that totally didn’t make Alex’s knees wobble.

“See ya, birthday boy!”

[the-innefable-idiot]

welcome home

Hello yall!!!

This is my 3k fic based on the fic "another part of me could be you" by @spaceskam. I honestly don't know how to classify this, but you can consider a homage (?) to her work.

This pretty much a fanfic of a fanfic... yeah. I know.

Every feedback is welcome, both for plot/characterization and grammar/ponctuation. English is not my first language, so I usually right phrases that only make perfect sense to me. I want your reading to be as enjoyable as possible! :D

Please, enjoy!

Also on AO3.

-

Oh, I hope someday I'll make it out of here

Even if it takes all night or a hundred years

Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near

Wanna feel alive, outside I can fight my fear

(Lovely, Billie Eilish feat. Khalid)

Michael almost looses Alex for the second time, and now je realises it's time for him to get his act together. He just wasn't expecting all the love and support he got.

- 

Home is a concept that Michael never quite understood. Sure, he lived in many houses, but the goodbyes were never emotional. He knows that home is not the structure, but the feelings attached to some place, something or someone. Whenever he thought of home, blurred memories from outer space came to mind. The feeling of belonging was strong, even if he couldn’t attach an image to it. 

Michael used to spend hours fantasizing on how to turn a house into a home. A collection of mugs nicely displayed in the dining room. Vinyls and cds on one shelf and books on another, with a nice record player nearby. Some musical instruments considered weird by western standards. The walls covered with pictures of people and places he loved alongside posters of movies and bands he enjoyed. Had he grown up in a nice home, he would probably have been those kids with a camera in hand at all times, capturing moments around him.

Once he knew he was so, but so close to understand the meaning of home. He was thinking about buying a camera literally moments before his hand was shattered by a psychopath. Since then he swore to never raise his hopes. The day drinking and the bar fighting were the ways he made sure to never expect anything from anyone. Alex symbolized everything he wanted to have, but couldn’t, so he was determined to go for a simpler route. 

With Maria things were nice. A little bit more complicated than he expected, but still nice. Sure, she wouldn't be moving to the airstream anytime soon, but the relationship was nice. Her place has a few of his things: a toothbrush, a few pieces of clothing neatly folded in one corner of a drawer, a few bottles of beer and whiskey, a handful of books and even some mechanical tools he forgot to take back to his place. Michael never enjoyed making Maria to spend the night at the airstream, first because the overall place was tiny and uncomfortable, and second because her house had the whole atmosphere he dreamt about.

It was clear the effort they were putting into the relationship. Maybe a bit too much of an effort, some might say. As the time passed, everyone close to them noticed how the smiles between them stopped reaching their eyes. Michael would never admit it, but Alex being kidnapped only sped up the inevitable.

Michael knew something bad happened before Forrest came to him in the middle of a panic attack. He had this prickling feeling on his neck that something was just not right since he opened his eyes that morning. Now he was gripping the steering wheel of his truck and focusing on not letting his powers break something. The adrenalin rush being the only thing keeping him from having a mental breakdown. Actually, filling in Forrest with the whole alien thing was a great distraction because of the many details and intricate history he had to cover. Maybe Forrest noticed it and kept asking questions to ground Michael to the task at hand. Maybe Michael will find a way to subtly thank him later for that. Just maybe.

After finding a path of bodies that lead to a bleeding Alex on the floor, Michael felt like breathing for the first time that day. The relief was short, however, and the moment he saw the deadly wound (gun? Knife? Oh God it was bad) he knew what he should do. Forrest was holding an unconscious Alex on his arms. Somehow he managed to tear apart the bloodied shirt to ease the access to the wound (thanks Forrest, again). Michael's healing powers were shit, and he knew he wouldn't be able to heal Alex completely, but damn him if he weren't going to die trying.

The last thing he clearly remembers is the glow on his hands. He has flashes of walking to the car and drinking acetone. He was 75% sure he didn't hallucinate Kyle being there to check up on Alex. Did Alex really ask to sleep by his side? Was Forrest still there? Who knew? Definitely not him.

The next day Michael woke up at noon, still not sure if he was indeed in bed with those two guys or if it was just his brain revenging him after almost melting it the night before. Alex was still too drugged up for Michael to feel anything concrete from the handprint, but only the fact everyone was breathing was enough to calm him down.

This moment of silence between the three of them only gave Michael the reassurance to set things right with Maria. He couldn't keep marinating her in a below-average relationship just so he could prove a point. Maria deserved more than he could give her.

-------

The break-up was... complex. He could see jealousy and suspicion in her body language, and nothing Michael said changed that. Deep down she always new the possibility of Michael going back to Alex, but she was willing to try anyway. She was making an effort not to be too angry, after all she knew her friend had a past with the cowboy but still wanted to try a relationship. She avoided Alex for a while, scared for his reaction, but when the confrontation happened, she was met with nothing but understanding. She’ll never know how Alex could be so calm back then, because right now this fucking hurt and she wanted to punch something.

Moments before he left, Maria stopped him, asking him the one thing he didn't want to answer.

"Why are you choosing him now, Michael?" She asked while putting too much force on drying a cup of glass. "The other day he was stabbed, and you stayed for me. So, what changed? Definitely not Alex almost dying"

"I don't... know." He hesitated. Who was he kidding, this was their break-up and she deserved the truth, even if it meant not crossing her path ever again. "I think that nothing changed, actually. I really believed we had a chance at being happy together, you and I, and I was willing to try. I was so focused on choosing you over him every time that in that morning it was more of an autopilot choice. I didn't follow my heart because I’ve programmed myself to choose you." He could feel his voice cracking. The words were too painful even to him, but once he started he couldn't stop.

"God, Michael" she put the glass down hard, the only reason for not breaking being its thickness. "I am angry, and sad, and I don't want to see you for a while, but..." she looked at him, her voice going a bit soft for her next words "what we had was exhausting. I've been trying to pinpoint the moment where we turned the relationship into an obligation. Now I see it’s been like this since the beginning, but we couldn’t keep the act for too long." 

"I'm sorry, Deluca."

"I'm sorry too." She turned her back on him to organize the bottles on the shelf. "Just... stay away for a while, yes? I need to clear my head."

Michael tipped his cowboy hat and left without saying a word. Mixed with the sadness was a sense of relief. Now Deluca was free from him, free to search for someone who will wholeheartedly love her the way she deserved. He didn’t regret being with her, they took a shot and failed, but that’s life. At least they know they tried. His regret was on his actions. Maybe if he’d been more honest since the beginning, the end would’ve been different. 

-------

Alex was still asleep when Michael came back to the cabin. The handprint feeling was still fuzzy, so good thing Alex didn't feel all the whirlwind of emotions from the conversation with Maria. Michael had to drive around for a few hours after leaving the Wild Pony just to clear his head. The first thing he noticed when entering the cabin was Forrest in the kitchen, probably cooking something for Alex.

"Alex said, and I quote, you like your coffee like you like your men and women: strong and sweet. Is that right?" Forrest asked without taking his eyes from the stove. "I’m cooking everyone’s favourite because... well... because I can, but also because we deserve it. Alex and I ate half an hour ago, but gimme five minutes and your food will be ready."

Michal was shocked. One thing was Alex telling Forrest what Michael liked to eat and drink, another thing was for Forrest to get out of his way to just cook it. Why would he do that, specially considering he was the ex in the equation? 

"Michael, I barely know you and I can almost feel you overthinking this. Before Alex went back to take a nap he told me you were getting near the cabin and that I should start cooking. Which reminded me, later you both must explain the whole handprint thing for me. I’m still digesting the whole alien superpower thing, but I want to know more" Michael could hear Forrest's smile in his voice. Forrest was relieved and comfortable so his entire body acted like it. 

"Michael. Sit."

And he sat on the table without thinking twice. Sure, the warmth he was feeling towards Forrest was 100% from Alex because of the handprint, but damn this pocket-size historian for making it way too easy to like him.

Forrest put the meal on the table and sat near him. Michael only realised he was starving the moment he took the first bite, and in less than 10 minutes all the food was gone. The coffee was in a nice mug with the Slipknot logo on it, probably Forrest’s, because he knew Alex inclined towards the more emo bands.

As he rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher, Forrest sat on the couch. Michael knew he should leave and let Forrest take care of Alex, but he ended up sitting by the historian's side. He simply didn't want to go.

"Michael..." Forrest started, with his voice soft and his eyes even softer. "You are probably confused by your feelings because of the handprint. Right now you are feeling what Alex feels, so we can only have this full conversation once you are out of Alex's system."

Michael had to take a sip of his coffee just to do something with his hands. In his mind he was bracing himself for the final blow that would destroy him. Forrest was going to order him to leave them alone and never go back.

"Alex told me about your history, and I am so sorry for all the trauma you went through, and I am not saying only your hand.”

Oh, so Forrest knew about that.

“The three of us... we grew up thinking that love and pain are intertwined, you can only love something if you suffer for it." Forrest grabbed Michael's hands, forcing Michael to keep eye contact. "It took me and Alex years and a literal war to understand that love is not painful. It’s hard to believe, both at home or in a battlefield, and even to this day I wake up with doubts.” He paused, taking a deep breath. Michael could see Forrest tensing up, an indication that the next words were hard for him to say out loud. 

“Maybe my family is right and being gay is a punishment, and I deserve to be loveless and miserable for the rest of my life. When you hear you’re not worthy enough times, you start believing in it. Some days nothing, and I mean nothing, can change my mind."

Forrest noticed Michael was getting uncomfortable, and let go of his hands. Both took a sip of their drinks before Forrest sighed, and Michael could see the sadness behind his eyes. A sadness he knew all too well, one that everyone carries but few could hide well. It was a sadness that put doubt in people's heart and turned their self-worth into smoke. Michael wanted to hold Forrest and tell him that everything was going to be alright, but it was probably Alex' influence.

"Alex told me you grew up in the system, the next family worse than the last. I’ve worked with endangered youth, kids with similar stories, and I know how ugly it can get.”

Michael tensed up even more, a reflex that Forrest mistook for annoyance or anger. Michael tried his best to relax, to show Forrest it wasn’t him. It was an unconscious reaction from years of abuse. The historian hesitated for a moment, but then continued.

“What I’m saying is that... it was hard for me to learn that suffering for love ain't romantic or cute. Alex and I want to help you get out of this destructive path you are going through, but we need to start things right. No lies, no secrets, and specially no shame." Forrest grabbed Michael's hand again, but this time Michael was more comfortable. "I want you both to be happy, even if it means me getting out of the picture eventually." As a reflex, Michael tightened his hand, a silent 'no' for the possibility. Forrest smiled and let his thumb caressed the back of Michael's hand.

"I know you can't make any decision right now. First because you just broke up with a long-term friend, and second because of the handprint. Much of your feelings are from Alex, so you are biased. But..." He stopped to bring Michael hands to his lips, and Forrest kissed them lightly with a hint of a smile "once we settle down, we can try something different.”

Michael was taken by surprise. He ran many scenarios in his head, and none of them came close to <i>that.

“I mean, what's the point of being a gay historian if I keep my mind closed towards contemporary interpersonal relations? Monogamy is a recent construct to better control nuclear households and… and... I am going to stop because I am losing the focus here.”

Michael laughed. He understood more and more Forrest's appeal. After a few hours of almost losing Alex and breaking up with Maria, Forrest managed to make Michael laugh.

“Alex says I get a bit too passionate about this matters and..."

"Can I kiss you?" Michael blurted, surprising even himself. "I know, I know, the handprint and all, but Alex's feelings are still fuzzy from the drugs and I am pretty sure he doesn't control every single emotion I have." Now it was time for Forrest to be taken aback. He pondered for two heartbeats and nodded, still processing what just happened. 

Michael caressed Forrest face, mimicking what the historian did few moments ago on the back of his hand. Michael’s calloused fingers brushed the other man’s face, bringing him closer. It started as a brush of lips, and then escalated to a slow and tender kiss. It was one of those that meant comfort, not sex. It made Michael feel warm and safe. Forrest was saying "I accept you and you can stay", and Michael almost felt like crying.

The kiss was broken when they felt the weight shift in the sofa. Michael didn't know for how long they’ve been kissing. The only thing he processed was Forrest on his lap by the time Alex showed up. Michael was starting to panic when Forrest just let a little laugh, going back to the couch to give Alex a kiss on his forehead.

Michael's heart only came back to normal because he could feel how calm and peaceful Alex was. If not for the handprint, he’d definitely be running away right now. After the initial shock, Michael started to process how easy it felt to kiss Forrest while actively ignoring how he was the current boyfriend of his ex.

"You're overthinking again, Michael." Surprisingly (or maybe not), this phrase came out of Forrest, again. He didn't need a handprint to understand what was going on inside the alien's head, and that scared Michael. If only by knowing the stories he understood Michael better than his siblings, what would Forrest be able to do with a little more intimacy?

"War taught us that we can't take tomorrow for granted." Alex said, with a hint of tiredness in his voice that only existed after a drug-induced sleep. "That doesn't mean I'll feel sorry for you and let you go away with all the shit you put me through, Guerin." Alright, back to the last name basis then. "But I will, actually we will, offer you a chance of redemption, but it will all depend on you."

"Own your mistakes and learn from them. Don't project your faults onto others." Forrest said while standing up from the couch. "That means no more bullshit, Guerin."

Michael felt oddly comforted by both men being so straightforward. Yeah, he could get used to this bluntness. Maybe this is the first change he has to make from now on.

"Once this handprint fades and we’re in fully control of our emotions, we’ll talk about possibilities. Right now I just need to focus on not dying from an infected wound which an alien helped to heal." Alex said, finishing Forrest's tea to the last drop.

“Now, let’s give ourselves some time to digest everything. God knows I still need to process that I made coffee for an alien”. Which, by the way, would you like some more tea, captain?” Forrest stood up and grabbing the mug from Alex' hands. He didn't have to look at Alex to know the answer. "More coffee for you, Michael?" He motioned to the mug on the table.

Michael nodded, still mesmerized by what was happening. They had a long path ahead of them, but he knew how easy could it be to fall into a routine with them. Maybe the Slpiknot mug would slowly turn into his mug, and this realisation terrified him.

Michael slowly gave the object to the historian. He felt like if he moved a bit too abrupt, everything would dissolve and he would wake up in the airstream. Instead, the only thing that happened was Forrest going back to the kitchen and Alex completely relaxed on the couch. 

“Did he give you the whole speech about monogamy and nuclear households? I mean, the whole speech?” Michael shook his head no, and Alex let out a soft laugh. “Then get ready for at least a two-hour lecture from him. I’m not exaggerating. He has a powerpoint presentation about it.” 

Michael could feel more of Alex as the seconds passed, and he has never been so sure that he wanted to change. Forrest and Alex started talking about nothing in particular and Michael closed his eyes, letting himself be surrounded by the tenderness and warmth radiating from that place.

the end

[mybiasisexo]

Blindside

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Xiumin x Reader

Length: 905

Warning: Unfinished 

Summary: Minseok, the chronic workaholic, is forced to take a vacation with his family and friends. He now has to deal with trying not to work as well as having to see his ex girlfriend who is just as beautiful as the day she left him.

Author’s Note: I feel like I made this as like a redo for another story I retired called The Wedding, but gave up on it also. It has like the same plot lmao but for Minseok.... Why did I do that? It sounds good though, shoot I'd read it. (Coming back after the fact to let yall know that after coming up with a title the urge to make this a WIP is strong lmaooo)

MASTERLIST

credit

Parties, unless they were for business reasons, were a foreign concept for Kim Minseok. So, of course, his first response when his brother, Kim Junmyeon, invited him to a small friend reunion party for the holidays was no. He was a busy man, especially during this time of year and couldn’t afford to be distracted by things such as parties.

But Kim Junmyeon told him it would be fun.

Minseok hadn’t had fun in so long he forgot the meaning of the word. Repeating it over, letting it coat his tongue, swish around his mouth to taste all the individual vowels and consonants, but the alien word left an unpleasant bitter aftertaste.

It reminded him of her.

So maybe that’s how he found himself pulling up to the venue the day of dressed in his casual best. Junmyeon said that it was a get together for all their closest friends who they haven’t been able to connect with since taking over the family business.

Minseok was fully aware Junmyeon put this together with ulterior motives, he just wasn’t sure of what. He mumbled under his breath as he stared up at the extravagant cabin the group of them would be staying at for the weekend. It was at a swanky ski resort, only the best for the Kims. He hadn’t gone skiing in years, hadn’t had any leisure time in years. Having the whole weekend off had already put his nerves in overdrive, shutting off his phone per Junmyeon’s request was something he was dreading, but he had a good trustworthy team, at least, that’s what he had to tell himself to not have a complete mental breakdown.

He wasn’t sure of who all were coming and by the looks of it, not many had arrived yet. He was early, he knew. It was around ten in the morning. The brother’s wanted to all arrive before the rest to get everything together. He trudged in, already hating the way his cheeks burned from the few minutes he stood outside, but the cabin was warm and massive. It was two stories. The first floor had the basics: a living room, kitchen, bathroom, and a family room all encompassed in white wooden logs. The upstairs held seven rooms and four bathrooms.

“Wow, you actually made it.” Minseok’s youngest brother, Kim Jongdae, said as soon as he was done stomping the snow off his expensive Gucci snow boots.

He noticed Jongdae had to look up from his phone to see who had entered and instantly lifted an eyebrow. “I thought Junmyeon said no phones.”

“No,” Jongdae dragged the word smugly. “He said you couldn’t have any phones. Not the rest of us.”

Minseok huffed and rolled his eyes. “I’m not a child, you know. I’m the oldest. Yet, I’m the one with rules?”

“Did you bring it?” Jongdae asked.

“Of course.” Minseok pulled the small device from one of the numerous pockets of his coat, waving it to his brother who smiled conspiringly. “Only to read over my people’s work before they send anything. I promised I wouldn’t focus on work while here.”

“You’re a workaholic.” He recognized the voice of the close family friend, Oh Sehun, as he trudged down the stairs. A cousin, Kim Jongin, hot on his heels.

He smiled. Looked like this reunion would be a good one. So far, all of the people closest to him were going to be present.

“So, I’ve been told,” he answered before pulling the two into hugs, genuinely happy to see them. “Where’s the host?”

“Your brother,” Jongin started as he headed to the kitchen. He pulled out some orange juice and chugged it straight from the carton. “Went to go pick someone up. A date, I believe.”

“We can bring dates?” Sehun asked, his question going over the other one asked by Jongdae. “Since when did Junmyeon get a girlfriend?”

Jongin shrugged in answer of both questions while Minseok headed up the stairs to quickly claim a room before more people arrived. He settled down, deciding he would stay in one of the bigger rooms that had four beds in it, being that there would be couples who deserved their privacy and he was a sought-after bachelor who didn’t mind sharing as long as his new roommates didn’t leave big messes. Since apparently Junmyeon would be bringing someone, he wasn’t worried too much about the mess. He took a brisk shower and when he was changed heard multiple voices downstairs. Curious, he slowly made his way downstairs, seeing four new bodies huddled in the kitchen,

There was a tall person who he recognized immediately as Park Chanyeol. The Parks owned banks so he was rich. His girlfriend of six years, Moon Jisoo, was glued to his side. Junmyeon had finally arrived. He was glancing at Minseok as he made his way towards them. There was another girl who he couldn’t fully see with her back facing them and Junmyeon’s attention blocking him from trying to catch a glimpse, although he could guess it was his date for the weekend.

“Minseok!” Junmyeon called, excitement evident in his voice. “You made it!”

“Are you ready to hit the slopes?” Chanyeol asked, obviously pumped.

“Yes, yes, I’m here. Before you, I might add.” He narrowed his eyes at his brother who just smiled before giving his attention to his tall friend. “And I’m a little rusty, but excited nonetheless.”

[jawnjendes]

i’m tired too | shawn mendes

university au summer vacay babey, shawn x goth gf

*******just letting yall know that the chapter before this, girl you’re trouble did not appear in the tags when i posted it, so if u havent read it go ahead and do that now :P

masterlist | series playlist

My tongue was between my teeth as I focused on my reflection in my little compact mirror. Carefully, I filled in my eyebrow with dark brown powder, ignoring the people sitting on either side of me on the couch. Having two sets of eyes on me made it hard to carve out the enhanced version of my face, though. I tried to shift in my seat to get them to focus on literally anything else, but neither of them let up.

“She’s so good at that,” Mom said in admiration. She was sitting on my left.

“Isn’t she?” Shawn agreed in the same tone. He was on my right.

I paused and sighed. The previous evening, Aaliyah pointed out that my mom and her brother had some uncanny similarities. I thought she was just bringing light to the fact that they both… adore me. But they had the same mannerisms, like talking with their hands. They were both optimistic as well, unlike me… and my dad. I pretended not to see any similarities until now. I was just glad Aaliyah wasn’t here now to triumph in her discovery.

“Are you guys gonna do this the whole time?” I asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.

“Well, you’re so pretty,” Shawn said, bringing a hand up to stroke my cheek.

I leaned away from his touch. “I just did my foundation!”

My mom laughed. “She won’t let you touch her either! I’m glad it’s not just me!”

Shawn gave me a surprised look. He learned just a little too much about me in the last twenty four hours, and it wasn’t stopping anytime soon.

Luckily, my dad, who had been scrolling through his phone on the other side of the couch, piped up. “Shawn, I heard you play guitar?”

That started the music conversation. I was glad to have the attention off of me for once, all anyone asked me about these days was my stupid hospital stay. Plus, I could finish my makeup in peace. Not to mention, Shawn was still convulsing and crying in his sleep, so things were… not ideal at the moment. But he got to talk about his love of music, which was something my dad could relate to.

“You know, I used to be in a rock band,” he said. “Back in eighty-seven, me and my buddies played shows from my parents’ garage. That’s how I met Lucy. She was standing at the front of the audience for every show. We only had about ten people attend if we were lucky, but she was always there.”

Mom placed her hands over her chest fondly. “I think music has a beautiful way of bringing people together.”

You wouldn’t be able to tell just by looking at my mother, but she lived for heavy metal. She was the one who introduced me to the symphonic metal bands I listen to now.

“Oh, a hundred percent,” Shawn agreed. Then he told me parents that he and I met at one of his shows at a coffee shop.

Today was much more calm than the last. My parents slept on it, and they decided that they were just happy that I was live. I was just glad they stayed at a hotel, too. I couldn’t imagine being holed up with them after not living with them for a majority of two years. I also wouldn’t know how to explain why my boyfriend was yelling in his sleep every hour.

I really did miss my mom and dad. It kicked in when they had to go home at the end of the week. I was supposed to be home too. None of this was supposed to happen this way.

~

After my parents were gone, I was able to get around the apartment by myself. I didn’t need a babysitter anymore, so I tried to be happy about that. However, my incisions still kept me from doing anything strenuous, which meant I had no excuse not to return to work anymore. Most of what I did was sit behind a desk in a tiny office, so I made my first day back that Friday. I figured I might as well make some type of income to, you know, pay for my books for the next semester and uhhhhhh fucking live. I had to find my independence again somehow.

Anyway, my first day back at work was as mundane as it always was. It was like I wasn’t even gone for three weeks. Stacy gave me a professional “welcome back” and then hit me with the work I missed that I needed to catch up on. I spent the morning adding up gas receipts, entering vehicle information into the computer, and booking service appointments over the phone.

In the afternoon, Jason and Luca came in for their shifts. They approached the window of the office and stopped in their tracks.

“You’re here?” Jason asked in disbelief. “Weren’t you quitting?”

Clearly, no one knew or cared where I had been lately. I mean, I must have told Stacy to keep it confidential while I was high on morphine. Even then, I wasn’t exactly popular here.

“I had surgery, and now I can’t hop on a plane home,” I explained shortly.

“Oh, so you were dying and you weren’t planning on telling us?” Luca said, holding a hand up to my face in a dramatic fashion. “How dare you.”

I blinked once and then got back to adding numbers from the stack of receipts. The two of them entered the office, and that was when another question popped into my mind.

“Who covered me while I was gone?”

“Not me!” Jason said as he went to his desk at the back of the office.

Luca stood by mine and puckered his lips like he was thinking to himself. That said it all for me.

“Shoulda known.” I rolled my eyes. “Not a goddamn thing was done, and it’s month-end.”

“Hey, Stacy told me to book appointments,” Luca said defensively. “I lost commission these last few weeks because of that. I sell cars. I’m no receptionist.”

Bet he didn’t even book appointments either. Bet Stacy told him to cover all of my responsibilities. Luca just did not give a flying fuck about anything.

I spent my lunch hour in the car. Normally, Shawn would have come to meet me so we could eat together… or not eat. He was working too, though, and from the texts he sent me, he had been working on a flower arrangement for a wedding. He was going to be busy all day. When did we become a boring, married couple?

“You’ll never believe who they put to cover me while I was out,” I typed out in a text to Shawn. I munched on my white rice as I sent it.

“Who?!” he replied within a few minutes. I could almost hear the enthusiasm.

“Fucking Luca. He did fuck all, so I have a bunch to catch up on. Plus, it’s the end of the month, so we all have to close a bunch of sales and warranties and all this other boring crap. I’ll be home a little late.” Send. More white rice. God, I’m tired of rice.

My phone buzzed again while I was scrolling on Instagram. Shawn had replied. “Aw. Ok hon. I’m gonna have a couple of friends over tonight, just letting you know. Some of them want to see how you’re doing.”

“Ok. I’ll see you at home.”

“Love that you see my place as a home now :)”

Uhhhhhhhhh… Who’s gonna tell him? Who has to remind him that I was staying at his place for convenience, because I am recovering from a surgery? That I literally almost died and my complications kept me from travelling long distance…? Who’s gonna tell him?

~

I was horrifically fatigued when I got home. I seemed to have forgotten that stressing over numbers and annoying phone calls was mentally straining. Maybe travelling by car wasn’t a great idea either, but how could I not drive? I had a job to go to. I had an apartment to get back to. As I walked up to the front door, I wished that I didn’t have to worry about things like income and bills to pay. I just wanted to lie down and not get up again.

Walking into the apartment, I realized I probably wouldn’t even get to do that.

First of all, the door was unlocked. Shawn had given me a key, but apparently I didn’t need it this time. I was met with music and laughter as stepped over the threshold. I found people, strangers, when I peered into the kitchen.

It was a small kitchen, but there were five frat boy looking guys all holding plastic red cups. Among them were three breathtakingly pretty brunettes. I’m talking Instagram models, wearing sparkling crop tops and skin tight leggings. They were all laughing about something until they saw me at the doorway.

“Rock on, emo queen,” one of the frat boys said, holding up the rock and roll sign.

Yeah. Even in my work uniform, which was a button up with the company name on, was in fact black. Not to mention, the eyeliner I had put on in the morning smudged so much throughout the day that I now looking like a raccoon having a mental breakdown.

Awkwardly, I continued padding down the hall, finding more people standing and talking amongst themselves. Again, more ridiculously pretty girls and their dates. All I could smell was weed. I tried to keep a stink eye off my face, but it was the only thing that made people move out of the way so I could get to the living room.

Finally, there were people I recognized. Brian, Connor, Teddy, and Shawn were among a bigger group of strangers sat on the L-shaped couch. So this was a couple of friends?

Shawn noticed me first and raised his arms in the air, making me notice the red cup in his hand. “Look who’s here!”

That caused several pairs of eyes to turn to me, causing me to feign a smile. Everyone raised their drinks and cheered. Oh god, I was in a room of drunk toddlers. I was in a whole ass apartment of drunk toddlers. And my fucking boyfriend was the toddler hosting the other toddlers.

“Come, sit here,” Shawn said, waving me over. “I missed you!”

I still felt awkward and tired and far from the vibe everyone else was currently on. I stepped over and went to take the empty space next to Shawn, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me onto his lap. My face went hot at the gesture, but not because of the affection, or the fact that he chose to rest his hands on top of my thighs. His chin rested on my shoulder, and I could smell the alcohol in his breath. Oh jeez.

“Man, let your girl breathe!” Brian joked, seeing the discomfort on my face.

“It’s fine,” I said sheepishly. I noticed several empty plastic cups and shot glasses on the coffee table. It wasn’t even ten o’clock yet.

“Yeah,” Shawn agreed, “I mean, I’d sit on her lap, but my poor baby had surgery. Wouldn’t wanna hurt her.”

Before I could retort, Teddy spoke up. She, too, had her own cup and was very obviously under the influence. “Oh yeah! How did that go? What even happened?”

I was going to reluctantly explain, but Shawn spoke for me again.

“My little fighter looked death in the face and said ‘fuck you!’”

Several gasps and fascinated expressions came from the group on the couch. I resisted the urge to plant my face in my hands. There goes my business, out in the open for everyone to put their noses into.

“You almost died?” Connor asked in shock.

“Ooh, story time!” Teddy announced. “Spill! Now!”

Been home for ten minutes, and I was not in my pajamas lying under the covers. For me, this was a couple of steps away from a worst case scenario. All eyes on me, expected to talk about things I wanted to keep quiet about. And it was all prompted by my drunk boyfriend, of all people.

“I had a bowel resection, and then I hemorrhaged,” I explained curtly. Then, I moved Shawn’s hands off my thighs and got to my feet. “And now I have to stay here and recover for the whole summer. The end.”

Some people booed at the length of my story. I’m sure I was expected to tell an awesome tale about the battle against my infected guts, but I was really not in the mood for that. I had to tell the story twice at work, and that was enough for me.  I didn’t really care about being a massive party pooper at the moment.

“Baby, where you going?” asked Shawn as I stepped away from the group.

I sighed and turned back to him. “I’m gonna change out of my uniform, and then I’m going to sleep.”

He pouted and got up to approach me. He came up close, so things felt a little more private. “Come have fun with me. We never have fun anymore.”

The plea in his voice was a jab straight to the heart. But I couldn’t find it in me to change my mind and stay with him.

“I’m not really in a party mood,” I said apologetically. “I had a long day, I’m really tired.”

Shawn’s face fell even more. His hazy, tipsy eyes filled with concern. “You want me to kick everyone out? I’ll do it! I’ll do it right now!”

I quickly got ahold of his wrist before he could rally the troops. I already had enough guilt on my shoulders. “No! No, no, no, don’t do that.” I held his hand in both of mine, and I ran my fingers over the swallow tattoo. “Have fun with your friends. You’re right, things haven’t been fun lately, and I’m sorry for that. You deserve a good time, even if I’m not there. Just have a drink for me, okay?”

He could have put out some things about how the party would be better if I was there. He could have sweet talked me into sitting on his lap again for the whole night. Instead, he squeezed my hand and said, “Straight tequila, right?”

Relief washed over me. “Yes. Remember to drink water too.”

“I gotchu, honey.”  Then, he leaned in a pressed a sweet kiss to my lips. “Keep the bed warm for me.”

The taste of alcohol on his lips made me one percent more likely to join him in the festivities. The other ninety nine percent yeeted my ass to the bedroom. Once I was alone, the crushing feeling of deliberate isolation sent me to the surface of the bed.

I was the type of tired that kept me from actually sleeping. I could sleep through plenty of external noise, living in a college dorm was enough experience. It was just my foggy brain and burning throat getting in the way. I grabbed my Switch from the nightstand and played Smash Bros, tuning out the sounds of people having a better time than me.

Every so often, I heard people cheering or chanting, “chug, chug, chug!” I remained curled up in bed, fighting people online to get my frustrations out. Taylor Swift’s Love Story came on around 1AM and everyone screamed the lyrics, while I brought my t-shirt to the bridge of my nose to catch oncoming tears. I felt guilty and selfish every moment I wished Shawn was here to spoon me til I fell asleep. He spent so much time worrying about me, he deserved to forget it all once in a while. God knows I wanted to do the same, but my insides were still recovering.

I had put my Switch away and I was lying on my side by the time people were saying their goodbyes out in the apartment. Some guy was praising Shawn for having such “epic parties” as they put it. Weird, this was the first party of his that I witnessed. We’ve been together just over six months. How much of himself was he holding back because of me?

“Whoo!” I heard Shawn yell, followed by a glass shattering loudly.

The sound woke me up a little. Meaning, my legs got me standing and dashing out to the living room. My eyes scanned the place, which was now vacant of people and full of trash, but I found Shawn sitting on the floor just outside the hallway.

The place was a mess. Half empty cups, food, and mysterious stains covered every surface in the apartment. I was only worried about my boyfriend.

“Hey, cutie,” I said affectionately, bending down so we were at eye level.

Shawn’s eyes were hooded, but sparkling. He gave me a toothy grin and held up a peace sign.

Then, Teddy emerged from the kitchen. “Oh, did I wake you? I dropped a cup, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t exactly sleeping,” I told her, still looking at Shawn. I waved my hand in front of his face, only for him to blink slowly. “Uh, how much has he had to drink?”

Teddy chewed her lip as she thought about it. “I lost count after his fourth shot.”

“My girlfriend told me to have ten tequilas,” Shawn slurred, belching right after. “I think I had like, six.”

I held my breath and waved off the stench. Someone was in for a long night, longer than normal. I didn’t think he would take me seriously, but then again, I did not tell him to have ten shots of straight tequila.

“Oh yeah, he mixed his liquor too,” Teddy said.

I sighed and moved Shawn’s long arm over my shoulders. “Okay, vamos mi chulo. Let’s get you to bed.”

Teddy stepped in to help get the six foot toddler to his feet. Shawn stumbled and swayed, his long arms hanging heavily on our shoulders. I baby talked him as we slowly strolled to the bedroom, and I told Teddy I could take it from there.

Shawn burped again as we got closer to the bed, and he groaned. “Ugh… this isn’t fun anymore.”

“Okay, let’s go to the bathroom,” I said, steering him the other way.

It took a minute to get him positioned in front of the toilet. It took less than a second for him to lean over the bowl and return everything he drank. As much as the sights and sounds of vomiting brought me dark and lonely flashbacks, I went and sat on the edge of the bathtub. I rubbed Shawn’s back and practically waited for it to end.

Once that was overwith, I really couldn’t go back to sleep. I managed to lay Shawn down on the mattress. The sparkle in his eyes was gone, now replaced with chilling emptiness. I took the liberty of pulling his leather boots off his feet, and I removed his socks as well. Then, I draped the comforter over his long body.

“Stay with me,” Shawn mumbled, his arm reaching out to me. “Let’s forget all the bad shit…”

It seems that no amount of alcohol could make him not think about the last couple of weeks. My heart began to ache all over again.

“Go to sleep, okay?” I said gently. “I’ll be with you when you go to sleep.”

Shawn whined. “You always die in my sleep. I love you too much to let you go.”

I had a feeling that that’s what he had been dreaming about. But I really could not get myself to lie down with him. I was too antsy from the vomiting.

“Wait for me, okay?” I told him, stroking his hair. “I’m only gonna be a few minutes, and I’ll come back.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

He’s drunk. He’s going to sleep no matter what.

Once Shawn was all tucked into bed, I left the room and quietly shut the door behind me. In the living room, Teddy was picking up plastic cups and shoving them into a giant trash bag. I really wasn’t expecting her to still be here. Wordlessly, I began helping her clean up. Anything to get my beating heart to slow down.

“What were you doing this whole time if you weren’t sleeping?” she asked me. “Was the music too loud?”

“No. It wasn’t anything from the party,” I replied, scooping up paper plates and used napkins. “Just had a long day. I wasn’t in the mood for a party.”

“Oh.”

She glanced at me a couple of times as she dumped more trash into the bag. This was supposed to be the part where I bare my soul to my boyfriend’s friend and make her my friend, but… Enough of my business was out there already.

Teddy, however, was persistent. “So, how come you didn’t want visitors at the hospital? Or when you got out, for that matter?”

I busied myself with fixing the sofa cushions so I could come up with a decent answer. “Uh, I like my privacy. Especially in moments where things are messy.”

“Hm. Well, aren’t messy moments the times when you need friends the most?”

That thought lingered in the air as we continued tidying up the living room. I could have had my video game club friends there, or Shawn’s friends, but instead I left most of the burden to Shawn himself. What kind of a person am I?

At last, Teddy got the last of the garbage in the bag, and she tied it shut. Then, we moved onto the kitchen. More cups, spilled booze, and the broken glass from earlier. Oh, how I did not miss house parties. I was at the prime age of partying, being 21. I should have been the type to be as drunk as my boyfriend was, to just have fun and forget the stresses of life. But I found myself on a completely different level than the people who were here tonight.

“Do you stay up late often?” Teddy asked, trying to fill the silence yet again.

We both paused as the sounds of loud, monotonous humming came from the bedroom. Teddy scrunched her brow and tilted her head. My shoulders tensed with chills, like ice cold water had been spilled down the back of my shirt.

“To answer your question,” I told her, “yes.”

She followed me to the room, but she stayed at the doorway while I went to Shawn’s quivering body.

“Baby, wake up,” I said urgently, shaking his arm. “Wake up, it’s only a dream, baby…”

He was on his back, head moving from side to side in harsh moments. He groaned, completely spastic, so I coaxed him some more.

My voice shook. “Shawn… please. I’m here, please-”

His eyes flew open with a loud gasp. He sat up, breathing hard and fast. I placed my hands on his broad shoulders, getting his attention.

“Hey, look at me. You’re okay, it’s okay. You’re safe.”

Brown eyes were wide with panic, and then sadness. Within a second, they were filling with tears, and Shawn was wrapping his arms around my waist. With a shaky sob, he buried his head in my neck and cried quietly.

I had a pained looked on my face while he wasn’t looking. I just held him and stroked his hair. I was whispering the things I always said when he was in this state. “You’re safe with me. It was just a dream, it’s not real.”

I was able to coax him back to sleep for the time being. It was only going to happen again, though. I didn’t know how to stop it from happening.

When I stepped out of the room again, I leaned against the wall by the doorway. Teddy was gone, probably fled the uncomfortable situation. Can’t say I blame her. I sighed heavily and brought the palms of my hands to my misty eyes. I was beyond exhausted now. I was at a loss.

A hand went on my shoulder all of a sudden, making me jump. I looked up, finding that Teddy was still here, glass of water in her hand. Her blue eyes were concerned and upset, like the world had just ended in front of her. I pushed past the feelings, though.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were still here,” I said, my voice thick with emotion. “Uh, did you need a ride home?”

She shook her head and held up the glass. “My fiance is coming soon. Here, drink.”

I offered a weak smile and accepted the gesture. As I sipped, Teddy said something that threw me off.

“He told me he was handling his nightmares. Had it all taken care of.”

“Why would he say that?” I asked in return.

“Didn’t want anyone to worry, I’m guessing. But I can see how tired he is. I can see how shaken up he is. I mean, he never goes as hard as he did tonight with the liquor. And worst of all, he hasn’t written a song in weeks. He hasn’t been in the studio at all.”

And it was my own damn fault.

“Does he tell you what he dreams about?” I dared to ask.

“No,” Teddy said. “I don’t think he tells anybody. I think he needs something beyond our help.”

“You’re right. I need to talk to him about this, because I know he’s not gonna talk to me.”

She placed her both her hands on my shoulders. “Hey. I’ve seen Shawn with quite a few girls over the last couple of years. I’ve never seen him head over heels until you came along. He loves you so much, he can’t fathom the idea of losing you. He loves you so much that he won’t talk to you about this because he doesn’t want you to feel bad.”

I wasn’t sure if that was supposed to make me feel better, because I was barely coherent as I spoke. “I already do…”

~

For once, I was up and running before Shawn was. His last nightmare happened around six in the morning, and after that he slept normally. The hangover probably had something to do with that. I left him a glass of water and painkillers on the nightstand, and then I went to the kitchen to attempt a type of breakfast.

By the time had eggs scrambled on a plate, Shawn was stumbling out of the room, glass of water in hand. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, and then he ran his fingers through his curly hair. He was still in the navy blue t-shirt he wore last night, but he ditched his jeans and went for the underwear look.

I met him halfway from the kitchen, presenting him with his mediocre breakfast. “Morning, sunshine.”

“For me?” he asked, and I nodded. “You’re the best.”

He sat at the round glass dining table as opposed to going to the living room. He must have been really hungover. I sat next to him and basked in the silence as he ate. My hands were tingling from the nerves.

“How ya feelin’?” I asked in a stupidly gently voice, reaching over to rub his arm.

He hummed through a mouthful of eggs. When he swallowed, he spoke. “My head is pounding. But I took the pills you left for me. Thank you for that, by the way. Who cleaned the apartment?”

“Me and Teddy. After you knocked out, we just decided to tidy up so no one had to worry about it the next day.”

“Well, thank you. One less thing to worry about.” He ate in silence some more, and then spoke some words that truly had me puzzled. “I slept the whole night for once. Feels good.”

Must be nice to not remember your night terrors. However, I had to tell him.

“Shawn…” I said slowly. “You woke up like five times. You had a panic attack one of those times.”

He slowed his chewing, staring at the table top in thought. He stayed quiet, and it freaked me out. He practically shut down, and it scared me for multiple reasons.

“I don’t know how to help you,” I admitted, watching him carefully.

“It’ll wear off,” he said weakly.

“You don’t know that.” I had to be firm. “I don’t know what you’re seeing in your sleep, but I know it scares you so much that you won’t talk about it. And you talk about everything, so that’s how I know it’s bad.”

Shawn looked down, still silent. Not giving me a possible solution to this. Does he even want help? Or am I just exaggerating and losing my mind?

“You don’t have to talk to me about it,” I continued. “Just talk to somebody. Last night, Teddy told me that you were taking care of all of this, but you’re not. I don’t know how you’re functioning during the day, because I’ve been exhausted and sleep deprived. I know you are too, and I’m not the only one who sees it. I, I don’t know how much longer I can watch you go through this.”

Again, he was quiet. He was never quiet. Shawn was feisty and passionate, ready to say anything to prove his point at any given moment. He had strayed from the Shawn Mendes I loved in such a short amount of time. It was happening so fast, watching him slip through my fingers. It felt like I was the one in a nightmare.

“Please,” I mumbled, my voice quavering. My bottom lip began to quiver.

Shawn suddenly looked up at me, eyes wide at the sounds coming out of me. Even when he was sinking, he still paid more attention when I was about to cry.

“I’ll, I’ll give you my therapist’s number,” I offered, losing my composure. “I-I don’t know if she’s taking anymore clients, but I-I-I’ll give up my sessions for you. I’ll do anything if it means you’ll get some help. Shawn, I… I’m begging you. I’m begging you to get help, because I don’t know what to do anymore… a-and it’s because of me why you’re like this, a-a-and I’m sorry-”

I gasped when I realized Shawn had placed his hands on either side of my face. His thumbs rubbed my tear stricken cheeks, and he spoke calmly and gently.

“Okay,” he said. “Okay, I’ll get help. I promise. I don’t wanna go through this anymore either. I promise I’ll figure this out.”

I guess that’s how I knew I was falling in love. The want and need for him to be okay was so great, there was nothing I wouldn’t do to make that happen. The fact that he was not okay was ripping me a new one. I couldn’t even breathe when he slept. I couldn’t even think about how much I wanted to be in California, because then I’d have to think about leaving Shawn all alone. Who would talk him down from his night terrors?

My hospital stay alone triggered nightmares and eerie silence from him. But what would Shawn have done if I had died altogether?

[thecardsimagine]

The Tale of the Fog Village

Summary: Venturing out of your foggy village, all you wanted was to save everyone from the looming threat that cowered in the forest. No one could have known what you would encounter in your quest to achieve that, how much you’d gain, and what you would lose. Not you. Not him.

Pairing: Lucio x Reader (Nonbinary) Rating: Mature because of swearing and suggestive content Warning: Blood, Death Genre: Romance, Drama, Fantasy, Action, Alternate Universe

Back to the Prologue / [Read on Ao3] / Next Chapter

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a/n: So, here we go! Some conversation finally, yay! I hope yall like the chapter, let me know what you thought! :D ____________________________

Chapter 3 - Friend or Foe

“Right! - No wait, left! Or was it right?”

With a soft thud, you felt your shoulder ram into the bork of a tree, a painful sting hitting you. Whining softly, you held your arm in place, finally coming to a halt while you rubbed over it tentatively. Sweat was dripping from your forehead and the side of your face, and you felt more frustrated than ever, following a stupid voice’s orders which definitely weren’t entirely clear.

Taking a deep breath, you tried to calm yourself down. In the end, you had to admit that though it was more than strange, it did help you to escape the burning building and the strange guards that appeared, even if it wasn’t the most decisive creature in your opinion. There was, however, something direr than the thing speaking in your mind, though its existence maybe should have alarmed you more than it did at that moment.

You were exhausted.

From your very core, you felt like collapsing on the spot. It must have been well over twenty hours now that you had spent awake and on your feet, something you had never done before. Together with these ominous feelings all day long and the now vanishing adrenaline that had kept you up for the longest time, you were at your limits. While it felt like a second person was doing its thought process in your head, you slowly sank to your knees, sitting upright while your head hung low.

“Hey! What are you doing?” it immediately chimed up in the back of your mind, feeling like a push on the shoulder, but you couldn’t follow it. “You need to move forward, come on!”

“I-” you spoke up, shaking your head slowly. The exhaustion crept up on you, together with the fear and confusion that had been residing in you for a while now. “I can’t. I am at my strength’s end. I can’t do another step…” you admitted, arming yourself for the backlash of the strange voice.

“So… you’re just going to sit there? In the middle of the forest?”

You couldn’t help but feel attacked by the way it said that. For the whole day, you had overcome your boundaries and worked hard to get to where you were now, but it seemed to be not enough for the annoying voice in your head. Would you ever be free of nagging voices, you wondered. Even if you weren’t in the village, they seemed to stick to you like moths to a flame.

“But I don’t know where to go! I don’t even know how to get back!” you complained, more angry at yourself than anything. For a while, silence fell over you, and you felt painfully aware of your surroundings. Of the far-away chirping of birds, the explosion still drumming in your ears and the aching sore spots on your body that seemed to have given up already, pulsating and hurting. “What am I doing,” you muttered, leaning forward and resting your head on your crossed arms that shielded you from the ground.

“I went into the forbidden forest. I set a building in flames. I hear voices. Am I going mad?” you asked yourself, voice breaking from the strain on your body. “What have I done…” Finally, all the things you sorted under the sins of your life found their space in the currently empty state of mind. Aside from feeling terrible from being completely exhausted, you just found it so hard to swallow the things you had done. The exhausted part of your mind too had long decided that the voice was your own consciousness talking to you, even if you probably knew better than that from all the years of learning about strange occurrences.

“Is that really the time to have a breakdown?” the voice asked, a hint of annoyance in its tone.

“Oh, shut up, as if you’d know!” you hissed back at it, angry about its tactless words. Though quite immediately, you also felt a little bad for lashing out.

“Well… You want to destroy the factories, right?”

Sniffling, you leaned back up again, an odd feeling striking you as you listened to its words. “What do you mean ‘factories’? What are those? D-Does that mean there are there more than that building?” If you weren’t in such a bad mental state already, you’d actually feel more surprise about that fact coming up, but by now you barely felt the desperation in your voice as you asked the question.

“Yeah, two more. Ugly ones, if I might add.”

Another moment of silence followed and hung over the two of you like the fog did back at your village. You felt the blood draw from your face as you were very close to passing out. All of this was way too much on you. Just now you had destroyed what you thought was the thing threatening your village and in just a few words time, your victory shattered in more pieces than the glass you had thrown against the brick wall. “But- But-” you stammered, voice shaking from the disappointment over the whole situation. But before you could build a coherent sentence, you were harshly interrupted by the voice picking up again.

“Hey, hey, wait! Before you get all sentimental, how about we go and destroy the other two, too?”

Sniffing, you took a deep breath, roughly bringing your hands up to wipe your face off. You felt grimy and dirty from your expedition, which only weighed down more on your mood. Biting your lip, you felt the frustration rise more and more, even stronger than all the other feelings that were waging war inside of you. It wasn’t very surprising that your next words were packed in a tone of voice that was less friendly as you would have liked it to be.

“What do you mean ‘we’?! What are you even? I don’t understand any of this, there shouldn’t have been more! No one told me about more!”

You heard a groan vibrate in the back of your mind, sounding like a vague mixture of annoyance and disappointment. It almost felt like it was rolling its eyes at you, only making you angrier than you already were.

“Stop that, I could really need some answers!”

There was a disapproving click of a tongue before the voice spoke up again, spouting its words at you. “As if your little, primitive village had all the answers. You came here to find out what was going on, right? Let’s do that then, stop being such a sissy.” Needless to say, you had a hard time to overlook the insult on you. After all, you’ve been through, you did not like being called a ‘sissy’. You gave yourself the time to think for a while, coming to the conclusion that it had a point. You did come here to find out about this threat, and even though you more or less succeeded in that, you should have expected that maybe there was more to this than just a building that needed to be destroyed.

It was hard for you to admit that it was right, barely able to think at this point, but you nodded slowly, letting out some held back breath that got stuck in your lungs while you thought. “Yeah… I think I should,” you confessed. “But what if there are more guards? I- I can’t really do anything, and I don’t want to hurt anyone…” you admitted, feeling torn on having to face more of the heavily armored people.

“We’ll find a way. You shouldn’t concern yourself with thinking about that yet.”

“So you’ll help me?” you asked shyly, feeling your curiosity pick up again under the heaviness of your exhaustion.

“Of course! I will not pass up on the chance to make these men run back to where they came from! And you have proven yourself to be quite efficient in helping with achieving that, so get up and get a move on.”

Chuckling nervously, you raised a brow at that. It made you feel better, knowing you weren’t all alone, even if you weren’t sure about what that voice really was. It was good having someone to talk to, plus its determination somehow managed to lift your spirits too. “Do you know them?” you asked, picking the conversation up again.

“No, why would I? They are way below me.”

“Ah, yes…” you mumbled, heaving a heavy sigh. “What did you say you were again?”

For a second, it got uncomfortably silent in your head, wind rustling through the leaves and plants on the ground, while you rubbed your thighs in an attempt to wake them up. You wanted them, no, just for a little while more, you needed them to function. “I am…” it started up, stocking in the middle of its own sentence to find the right words.

“-someone like-minded.”

You laughed up softly at that, finding it to be a terrible description for oneself. Especially since it was a voice, in your head. You caught yourself reminding you that it may be just another part of your conscience telling you what to do. That would explain why it was so confusing, for sure, because that was mostly what you felt at that moment, too.

“Like a friend?” you teased weakly, testing some boundaries.

“I beg to differ. We are not friends, we only share the same goal. Once this is over, I don’t believe we’ll be talking to each other ever again.”

“Well, you are not an enemy for sure,” you stated, carefully trying to push yourself up with your arms as to support your weak legs.

“How do you know?”

“Enemies don’t help each other escape,” you noted nonchalantly, managing to get up a few inches before losing the strength again right away and falling back to the ground. Even though you enjoyed the breaks it took from talking - giving you some rest from the whole ordeal - as it wasn’t going to speak up again, you wondered if you had taken it too far. “I-I guess it’s like ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend’?” you muttered, trying to sooth it.

“Exactly. Let’s get going.”

“I… can’t,” you admitted, finally feeling like it was the time to tell the voice about how weak you felt. Even though you found it embarrassing, you couldn’t really blame yourself after all the walking and running you had done that day. But your body had decided it would not move another inch and so you were almost ready to give yourself to your destiny of staying in that filthy spot if you must.

“Oh, no. You can.”

Suddenly, a harsh gust of wind hit all around you, outright blowing you out of your kneeling position. Before you could even take another breath, you found yourself standing, though it was on very shaky and unsteady legs. “Come, Child. There’s a bit of a hideout nearby. Wouldn’t want anyone to find your pretty face in such a vulnerable state, don’t we?”

You could feel the tips of your ears burning up as you listened to the words, but you didn’t have the time to linger on them as you felt the wind picking up again, ushering you into a direction. And you took the hint, following it without complains like you had trusted them before. Who’d you even complain to in the first place?

With the wind in your back, it felt almost easy to walk again. You were still heavily aware of how much your legs must despise you in that moment, but they worked. There was probably no way to ever tell them how grateful you were to them, but you promised them in silence that you’d give them a nice, warm bath if you ever made it back.

No matter if it was the voice in your head or the wind pushing you forward, you followed it. It was too dark to even confide in your own abilities to navigate, so you were thankful for the small pushes and curt warning they both offered to you. If it really was your own consciousness telling you where to go, you had to admit you were pretty good. Not once did you run into another tree or got stuck on a root on the ground. You probably wouldn’t have been able to get up if you had fallen once again, and in that case, you could have stayed back where you had seen yourself sleeping that night before.

“Is it still far?” you asked after a while in silence.

“Uh,” was the answer from the voice. “Uh?” you pressed on. “‘Uh’ is not really a unit to measure.”

There was a long, unnerved sigh. “No, it’s not far, it’s behind those trees.”

“Those?” You pointed at a random tree next to you, absolutely ready to take this joke as far as the voice wanted to challenge you to it. “Or this? Or this one? Maybe that one?”

“FINE!” it bellowed. It sounded like it took a deep breath and let it out. “It’s… hard to describe for me. But I know it’s there, just keep going, you are very close.”

“Let me guess,” you joked. “You can’t actually see further than what’s around me.”

Silence.

“Oh,” you noted. “Well, that’s fine… I think. Or?” There was a chuckle, but it didn’t sound conceded like you had might expected it would. If anything, you thought it actually sounded flustered and like it was overplaying something. “Afraid I might lead you into your doom?” the voice asked, giving back some of the teasings you had been doing.  

“I mean-” you spluttered. “Who knows?”

Another chuckle, though this one was amused if anything.

“Keep being so skeptical, that makes you cute.”

Bringing your hands up to your ears, you pinched them, hoping it would stop them from growing hotter and hotter from the unusual compliment. You just weren’t used to such attention, being more or less the loner of your age class in your village. “Eh… sure…” you muttered under your breath, going a little faster and hoping to reach whatever place you two were aiming for, fast. It wasn’t like the voice could have seen you turn red or anything, but you still felt embarrassed by how easy it was to throw you off.

Pushing away a bush that seemingly went out of path already but got stuck on your fingers, you focused your gaze forward. The wind slowly drifted out, leaving you to stand on your legs fully again, and almost immediately, they began to shake in response. Before you, a clearing opened up. You were greeted by the rushing of water, a sound you hadn’t heard before but which came unmissable from the waterfall reaching upwards in front of you. It was probably thanks to the voice that you hadn’t taken notice of the water, and the waterfall wasn’t all that high either and flowed calmly.

“Wow,” you muttered, gazing for the first time in your life at a waterfall and its pond. The clearing was surrounded by rocks, leading to a higher level in the forest, and with advances that seemed fitting for you to camp out under. “You like it?” the voice asked - sounding rather proudly.

The moon gave some shimmer to the water, and there were small plants with flower heads drifting on the surface. It almost seemed magically in a way that you couldn’t quite describe, but you were glad that you were able to see it. “Yeah, it’s beautiful,” you admitted freely, and the voice gave an approving hum to your words, a small, windy push making you take a step forward.

Though you found yourself to be hesitant after what all you had already experienced on clearance, you tried to be courageous again. You kept the thought of being able to sleep soon in the back of your mind, and it alone was the source of strength for moving on. Driving your hands along the rock wall close to you, you followed it until you were covered by the edge of the cliff over your head. There you let yourself slowly and as gracefully as possible sink down, being grateful for having your cloak which would keep you warm, even on the hard, cold, rocky ground.

“Are you happy now?” the voice asked, and you nodded subconsciously, a tired smile on your face.“That’s much better, thank you.”

You had already closed your eyes, all of your muscles letting go of the tension in them, melting into your makeshift bed. Your body at least was ready to sleep, but you kept yourself awake for a second more, something urgent on your mind before you could allow yourself to knock yourself out.

“Will you be there still when I wake up?” you asked the voice, not sure how you’d feel about losing the company you had made over the last hours. Admittedly, it had been quite rough between you two. An up and down on emotions and understanding. But it was still a little weird to wake up and just having to believe you imagined everything it told you.

“I am always there. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

Chuckling, you took note of that, feeling like you really would not be able to get it off your conscience anytime soon. But you felt like it gave you the relief that you needed for your rest, and you let out a long, deep breath. “Good,” you noted. Eventually, you managed to fall asleep, a troubled night ahead of you.

[cuilective]

RULES: REPOST, DON’T REBLOG. JUST PICK A MUSE OF YOURS AND FILL IT OUT.

—

—

MUSE: Lester Merriton

BASICS

▸ IS YOUR MUSE TALL/SHORT/AVERAGE?  

Tall, definitely. Used to be even an inch or so taller before the explosion.

▸ ARE THEY OKAY WITH THEIR HEIGHT?  

For the most part. He can reach things others can’t, but he’s doomed to be the big spoon forever unless he finds someone who’ll settle for backpacking. Could be worse.

▸ WHAT’S THEIR HAIR LIKE?  

When he’s staying on top of self care, I’d say it’s... pretty average? nothing super soft but at least it’s clean. probably smells like some generic Manly Scented Shampoo For Men like woodsmoke or gym shower jungle juice or whatever the heck it is guys have to wear instead of fruity floral goodness. or just the OG old spice, that seems pretty lester to me.

▸ DO THEY SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON THEIR HAIR/WITH THEIR GROOMING?  

The least amount of time possible while still getting everything done. He’d rather be doing just about anything else than like... brushing his hair. soaking in the tub. hell even a nap would be more entertaining.

▸ DOES YOUR MUSE CARE ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE?  

He does, which is probably one of the only things to really motivate him to take care of himself.

▸ DOES YOUR MUSE CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT THEM?  

More than he lets on, definitely more than he’ll ever admit. He bottles it up pretty well but if he feels like he made a bad impression on someone it might bother him for a while.

PREFERENCES

▸ INDOORS OR OUTDOORS?  

Indoooors

▸ RAIN OR SUNSHINE?  

Rain. Nothing better than working by a window listening to the rain pitter patter against the glass. It’s the best white noise to fill the silence so he can focus on something other than his grumpy brain noises.

▸ FOREST OR BEACH?  

Neither, but if he had to choose it’d be forest. You know how hard it is to get sand out of all the nooks n crannies of prosthetics? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

▸ PRECIOUS METALS OR GEMS?  

Metals for sure, precious or not. Way more practical uses and still looks good.

▸ FLOWERS OR PERFUMES?  

Ehhhhh, maybe flowers? At least it’d be less overwhelming than straight up perfume.

▸ PERSONALITY OR APPEARANCE?  

He’d say both, but honestly??? Appearance.

▸ BEING ALONE OR BEING IN A CROWD?  

Alone, definitely. Or at least being alone with someone else or a very small group of friends, even if they’re just sitting around in the same room but not actually interacting.

▸ ORDER OR ANARCHY?  

Ornarchy. Anorder. Uh. Uhhhhh. Order?

▸ PAINFUL TRUTHS OR WHITE LIES?  

Well he dishes out both fairly often. It’s hard to tell when he’s being brutally honest because he genuinely cares or just feels like being a jerk.

▸ SCIENCE OR MAGIC?  

Science all the way every day

▸ PEACE OR CONFLICT?  

He’d say he prefers peace but ultimately conflict is what he’s most familiar with. It’s practically his comfort zone.

▸ NIGHT OR DAY?  

Night, for sure.

▸ DUSK OR DAWN?  

Dawn, sort of. Nothing like staying up so late you can watch the sunrise... and then go right to sleep.

▸ WARMTH OR COLD?  

Warmth. Warm drinks, warm clothes, warm touches. Even just all the computers buzzing away in his lab working like little space heaters to toast up the whole room a few degrees.

▸ MANY ACQUAINTANCES OR A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS?  

He’d sure like to have a few close friends but they keep like, exploding or falling into other dimensions and he just cant take that kind of abandonment anymore.

▸ READING OR PLAYING A GAME?  

Playing a game. He reads enough for work, it’s nice to do something less mentally taxing. Fun colors and shapes, puzzles, whatever. Really likes word cross apps on his phone.

QUESTIONNAIRE

▸ WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR MUSE’S BAD HABITS?  

Entirely too sarcastic at all times, even with people he doesn’t actively dislike. It’s a roast or be roasted world out there.

▸ HAS YOUR MUSE LOST ANYONE CLOSE TO THEM? HOW HAS IT AFFECTED THEM?

Bit complicated. He wasn’t close to his parents. He became more distant from his younger brother for some time before the explosion that killed him. His relationship with Freddy was always rather complicated, but when he and his wife and daughter vanished it affected Lester more than he realized. He began to more actively isolate himself, more sarcastic, and in general puts no effort into friendships because he feels it’ll just be a wasted investment anyway. The hardest thing for him though was after he recovered from the explosion and could live on his own again and finding out Frederick Senior McJerklord essentially abandoned Lester’s nephew in the middle of who-knows-where with a grumpy giraffe because he didn’t want to raise a Merriton since they’re all competition anyway.

▸ WHAT ARE SOME FOND MEMORIES YOUR MUSE HAS?  

He’s not much of a hugger himself but he can probably remember when and where he ever experienced each hug he’s ever had and treasures each one. Bruh just wants 2 be held, man.

▸ IS IT EASY FOR YOUR MUSE TO KILL?  

Kill the mood? Sure. Kill a living being? It’d be pretty tough. There is one instance he might be able to kill and get through it without having a mental and moral breakdown, but he tries not to think about it too much or he might start making plans.

▸ WHAT’S IT LIKE WHEN YOUR MUSE BREAKS DOWN?  

It’s eerily quiet. Like you know how snow absorbs all the sound in the universe??? It’s kind of like that except the silence isn’t peaceful at all it’s just like sheer unease. Like the silence of a morgue. He avoids eye contact bc honestly if people can see his eyes at times like that they’d start asking concerned questions that he just can’t answer without risking falling apart. he’s a silent, angry crier the rare occasions he does cry. could be quietly going about his business and keeps accidentally breaking things bc he is just full of smadness.

▸ IS YOUR MUSE CAPABLE OF TRUSTING SOMEONE WITH THEIR LIFE?

he can’t even trust himself with his life, let alone someone else.

▸ WHAT’S YOUR MUSE LIKE WHEN THEY’RE IN LOVE?  

Still sarcastic, but in a much sappier way. If anything the roasting will just get worse, but in return you get glimpses of those itty bitty smiles and airy chuckles. He gets marginally more touchy-feely; a hand on the shoulder, sitting a smidge closer than usual, just wanting to be closer in general. may or may not bluntly admit to wanting more spicy contact when least expected. like ur just tryna go grocery shopping and yall be lookin at the tomatoes n he just stares at a tomato in his hand w a straight face like ‘once we’re back home we should smash’ all nonchalantly except not in those words exactly because i dont want to get any more gross bots following me

—

tagged by: @streetsteel​

tagging: hmmmmmmm.... whoever wants to and hasnt yet?? idk man go bonkers

[zayashmaya]

Gods and Monsters - 3 - Off to the Races.

Other chapters here!

Marvus x Reader; SFW

Your favorite clown comes to your rescue.

My ... man is a tough man But he's got a soul as sweet as blood red jam And he shows me, He knows me Every inch of my tar-black soul

- Lana Del Rey

You didn’t see Lanque for the rest of the evening, which was all fine and well once you were two drinks into some serious shit on the dance floor. Remele certainly knew her audience — the purplebloods in attendance had quickly taken control once they trickled in with fashionable lateness, and everything had been set up for the ensuing clownery that followed. With Marvus at your side and your veins flooded with dubious alcohol, you felt nigh unstoppable, letting loose your inhibitions among a sea of trolls who would have killed you on the spot in a fit of capriciousness.

But a few of the clowns had come by to ruffle your hair and honk at you in recognition for having been a frequent presence in the church. You’ve certainly come far from the days of running for your life and getting trapped in an alleyway with a purpleblood seconds away from bludgeoning you to death. You kind of like them now.

And you definitely liked the way Marvus watched you as you swayed to the dizzying rhythm of pulsating music. Even his hands caressing your bare skin sent ripples of ticklish excitement throughout your body. It felt so different from when you had danced with Lanque. More on your terms, so to speak, and thus more thrilling. All in good fun, you thought. It’s not like he was serious about his flirting, anyway.

The purplebloods finished off the party with a frenzy of rapping that Marvus felt compelled to join. Stelsa had found her way to your side and eagerly followed your lead as you both giggled and danced your sanity away. You recognized some of Marvus’s lyrics from a few performances you had attended, and screamed your head off with the crowd as you sang along, feeling the heat of the lighting and the blurring colors collapsing all over you in swirling synesthesia, until you embraced the euphoric sensations and became one with the music.

Chucklevoodoos, a voice whispered through the cracks of your fraying mind.

Who cares, you answered back. I want this. I want this.

I feel whole.

Marvus was watching you. You felt compelled to direct your entire attention solely to him, not to any other highblood or to Stelsa but to him and him alone, and for a moment you heard the cheers of partygoers distorted into screams of pain before he beckoned you over with his arms spread out in theatrical showmanship. You clawed your way through the masses and into his waiting embrace, laughing for no reason and yet there was every reason to laugh —

“Snap out of it babe,” he said as he directed the microphone away from him, and even though the cracks were suddenly breaking and collapsing like shattered glass, all you could think of was how he said it just for you, only you, only you —

“What if I don’t want to,” you whispered, but nobody heard your admission.

As your fingers dug into the lapels of his jacket, you pressed up against him and scanned the crowd in a moment of clarity. Stelsa. Was she safe? Did you imagine all of the blood and death and fire?

Marvus’s arm was wrapped around your back as he held you close during the madness. You ran a shaky hand through your hair and wondered where the night would lead, because the highbloods were getting a little too rowdy. A gentle pat to your behind pulled you out of your thoughts, and you threw a scandalized look to Marvus as he grinned down at you. With the microphone poised before him, he called out to the partygoers, “Hey.”

That simple word held all the weight of an important command. The crowd fell silent, and a shiver rolled down your spine. You pressed your forehead to his side and tried to make yourself seem as small as possible, conscious of being stared at by so many people.

“Yall havin a good time??” The crowd roared to life in answer. “Lemme hear u give it up for the mutherfxxer who made it all happen, ufeelme?!”

Amidst the chorus of cheers, Remele bounced up to the clearing where Marvus waited for her, snatching the microphone out of his hand and baring her fangs in a wide smile as she addressed her attendees. You huffed a quiet laugh as you listened to her shill out her latest art pieces and advertise her gallery.

“ — and I woulde like to thank one of my best supporters, my very goode friend and my darling muse!"

You jerked your head towards Remele as she zeroed in on you. “Please, no — “ you begged, but she already grabbed hold of your upper arm and snatched you out of Marvus’s embrace. You looked back at him in a silent plea, but he only winked at you and flashed his toothy grin.

Remele whirled you around to face the crowd. The spotlight was on you now.

You meekly waved and prayed for the ground to swallow you whole. “Tonighte, dear guests, I have a confession to make,” she dramatically said, her eyes flashing in excitement. “Were it not for our resident alien, my gallery might never have gotten so muche recognition! Because she was responsible for the gruesome murder of a highbloode mere steps from my gallery, all of those perigees ago!"

”Remele!” you screamed in a whisper, withering away from the crowd as it erupted into bewildered laughter and indiscernible heckling. “What are you doing?! They’re going to kill me!”

And not just the attendees, but Marvus, too. God, you could hardly bring yourself to look at him, because even though Remele was technically the one who killed the purpleblood, you were still pathetic enough to get yourself into trouble in the first place, and the last thing you ever wanted was for him to catch wind of your fucked up escapades, and now your mind was racing a mile a minute but Marvus was just looking at you with raised eyebrows, and he didn’t look angry, just thoughtful —

“Oh, relax,” Remele cut into your mental breakdown, ignoring your attempts to claw your way out of her grasp — she was ridiculously strong — and continued her speech. “In honor of my muse, I have channeled my inspiration for that fateful nighte to create — “ She threw her arm out in a wide arc and directed everyone’s attention to a covered canvas mounted to a wall. ” — this!”

A rustblood scuttled over as if on cue and tore down the white fabric covering the canvas. All eyes were on Remele’s latest painting. Perhaps now was your chance to abscond? Maybe you could use this precious time to find Stelsa and hightail it out of here with one last ‘fuck you’ to Lanque —

Except your attention was entirely captured by the painting as soon as you dared to glance at it.

You were the subject, pressed flat against a dark wall and limbs splayed out like a cheesy damsel in distress, gripping the brick behind you as you stared at the viewer, all wide-eyed and afraid. And, much to your mortification, you were naked — or rather, lacking any sort of clothing while retaining no bodily features characteristic of your sex. Remele had never seen you naked, after all. Rather imaginative of her to paint you completely sexless and alabaster white, with red and purple stains blotched over your figure as though you were covered in blood.

What the fuck, Remele. Did you really look that pathetic to her that night?

Your mouth simply hung open in shock while the audience ascertained the painting with thoughtful murmurs. Remele waited with baited breath, whispering to you, ”Just you waite and see, I’m gonna be fuqueing loaded after this!”

Suddenly, a voice rose high over the crowd and called out what appeared to be a price.

Remele squeeled. You felt your soul leave your body. That better not have been Zebruh.

As if on cue, an intense bidding war began over the painting. You closed your eyes and hung your head, letting Remele flop your arm around like a limp noodle in joy as the price rose higher and higher still. This was it — your lowest point. Your cowardly self on display for other people’s pleasure, awaiting a lifetime of being gawked at by a privileged highblood. And worst of all, you weren’t even going to get a cut of the profits.

Within minutes, the haggling price had skyrocketed to what you imagined to be astronomical numbers. Most of the bidders had dropped out as well, with just a select few voices trying to outbid each other. A small part of you was surprised that they hadn’t attempted to resolve the conflict with good, old-fashioned murder and mayhem. Judging by the growing agitation in the bidders’ voices and the heckling of the crowd, that outcome might not be far off from the future.

And indeed mayhem ensued. Four highbloods had rendered each other into a pile of limbs and — and bicycle horns — before Remele threw her hand into the air and called out, “Looks like it’s time to wrap this shitshowe up! Going once, going twice, to the gentlemane with the facepaint and broken horne — "

A hand came down over your head and ruffled your hair. Somehow, you knew everything would be okay.

“Na b i’ma take dat home tonite,” Marvus cut Remele off. “I’ll take it for dubble tha price k :o)“

”Solde!” she shouted into the microphone, and you breathed a sigh of audible relief.

Yet your momentary reprieve was ruined once you realized that Marvus had spent a ridiculous amount of money on a scandalous painting that he had no need for. A sense of guilt hung over you as Marvus waited for the canvas to be brought to him, keeping a steadying grip on your shoulder and commanding someone nearby to hand over the payment on his behalf.

“You really didn’t have to do that, Marvus,” you quietly said, tugging on his sleeve to catch his attention.

He merely grinned. “I did dis for a more selfish reason than u think.”

“Why? Don’t tell me you actually wanted that thing?”

“Fxxk yea i did brohime, i wanna b lookin at dis erry day to remember i got one dangerous lil mama who could knock me flat on my azz n paint da walls w my blood. Shit’s hot yo.”

“I’m sorry to break the fantasy, but Remele was pretty much embellishing her story. I didn’t actually kill anyone, I would never do that!” you whined.

“Mebbe not then,” he said, his eyes staring straight through you as though he knew more than you let on. “But u prolly did a whole lotta damage to otha ppl jus by being on dis planet. A wicked shorty like u can’t survive here for dis long w/o causing sum mischief. Basically, u iz one dangerous lil alien.”

Discomfort gripped your heart. Marvus was right; you were inadvertently responsible for a few deaths. Thankfully none of your friends suffered from your magnetic ability to welcome danger —

— Karako bleeding out from his stab wounds, seadwellers laughing in the distance —

— Daraya engulfed in flames as she fought through the pain —  

— Boldir’s life withering away right before your eyes —

— Zebruh’s limbs torn apart in a frenzy of bloodlust —

You jolted and blinked through a haze of phosphenes coloring your vision. What were you thinking about again?

“Hey, it b ok u know.” Right, Marvus. Focus back on him. The painting is under his arm now, mercifully covered up so you didn’t have to look at it again. You welcomed the cold seeping into the skin of your shoulder from his touch. “U ain’t gotta b lookin so sad, doll. It just b dat way around here.”

You sucked in a shaky breath and mustered up a smile. “I know. And I guess if there’s anyone who I’d rather keep the painting, it would be you.”

Marvus lightly papped you on the cheek with the back of his hand. But before he could get a word in, Remele suddenly draped herself over you from behind. “Hello my sweete muse, please text me whenever you’re free againe; I’m going to make a livinge off of you!”

“Of course," you hastily replied, eager to worm your way out of her grasp and disappear. “I’m so … grateful that you painted such a — a charming rendition of me. You’ve truly outdone yourself!”

“It’s fxxn aces,” Marvus pipped up.

“Thank you so muche!” she gushed, and you had a sneaking suspicion she was amping up the charm for his sake. Her tactics were so shameless sometimes, but you loved her for it. You weren’t that much different from her in that regard.

“By the way, Remele, have you seen my friend Stesla anywhere around here? You know, the  tealblood who speaks without stopping to breathe.”

“Ummm,” Remele hummed, tapping her cheek with a finger as she looked around. “She shoulde be lurking somewhere in the back, methinks. Thanks for introducing us, she’s gonna be so fuqueing useful in the long run. Juste like you!”

“How kind of you to say,” you humorlessly said.

“Mhm! Anyway, I muste get going. Goodbye, sweete muse!” And off she went, gone in a flash to conduct more mischief.

Marvus tapped you atop your head. “Hey.” You looked up to his sneaky face. “U lookin about as done w all dis as i b. Wanna bounce?”

Oh you sure as fuck did. The weight of tonight’s eventful party was finally starting to come down on you. “How do you always know? I’m starting to think you have some sort of savior complex.”  

“Juss for funny lil hornless aliens who hang around weirdos.”

“Are you a weirdo, too, Marvus?”

He wiggled his eyebrows at you. “Hellz yea fam, but maybe not as much as u.”

“I am not!" you laughed, lightly swatting his forearm as you two walked towards where your instincts told you Stesla might be. “But seriously, thank you for getting me out of here."

“Don’t b thankin me just yet lil mama — maybe I got sum nefarious plans cookin in my think pan,” he teased and winked.

You chuckled. “I’m sure whatever you’re thinking of would be a million times preferable to being mobbed by frenzied trolls.”

“Ye tru. Lemme take u home, babe. Need me a lil bit of company in my sicknasty limo.”

“Oh, you didn’t come here with the other purplebloods?”

The corner of his grin turned up higher. “Sure did, but they ain’t who i’m lookin’ to take home tonite.”

You furrowed your brows at the strange phrasing — why would Marvus be so eager to take me back to my dilapidated hive instead of enjoying his friends’ wild company — but Stesla’s fashionable physique was in sight beside the restrooms, dabbing her face with a small powder puff while looking into a compact mirror. You called out to her in greeting, and she instantly perked up, hiding her cosmetics away in her purse before skipping up to you.

“OH MY GOODNESS DARLING THERE YOU ARE I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER GET TO YOU TONIGHT HOW ARE YOU DID YOU SEE THAT INCREDIBLE PAINTING MY IT WAS SIMPLY EXQUISITE I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THE MARVUS XOLOTO ACQUIRED IT — “

You practically pounced on her with a killer hug that would have knocked the air out of a human. But Stelsa was a force of nature in her own right, and as such, merely squeaked and hugged you back.

“I am feeling a little overwhelmed right now, Stelsa,” you confessed, murmuring into her chest before slinking out of her grasp to look at her. “I think I’m ready to leave now. Did you want to stay a little longer, or can I drop you off back home?”

“I SIMPLY CANNOT LEAVE JUST YET THERE IS STILL MUCH TO DISCUSS WITH REMELE AND SO MANY NEW POTENTIAL CLIENTS TO MEET HERE I WILL HAVE TO STAY BUT DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME PLEASE HURRY ON HOME AND REST YOU MUST BE EXHAUSTED AFTER THAT BIDDING DEBACLE AND I SEE THAT A CERTAIN SOMEONE IS WAITING FOR YOU — “ Stelsa peered over the top of your head in the least discrete way possible. Unbeknownst to you, Marvus waved back. “MY OH MY IT’S A GOOD THING I MANAGED TO PRIMP YOU UP BEFORE THE PARTY JUST LOOK AT YOU GETTING LUCKY HMMM?”

Your mind had wandered during her monologuing, so it took you a moment for her last statement to shock you back into reality. “Th — that, that isn’t what’s happening!” you hissed in a quiet whisper, blushing brightly at her implication. “He’s just my ride home, don’t be preposterous. Anyway, are you sure you’ll manage on your own here? I’m worried about leaving you with all of these highbloods around. What if you get caught in another deadly moshpit or whatever?”

Stelsa giggled and placed her hands on her hips. “DON’T BE SILLY I CAN HANDLE MYSELF JUST FINE I DON’T WORK OUT FOR NOTHING YOU KNOW.” Oh, that’s right. You forgot Stelsa was ripped.

“I’ll trust you … but I’m not letting you go that easy!” You fished out your phone and quickly got to texting. “I’m going to let Tyzias know that I need to leave you here. And you better send me a message when you get home, or else I’ll go looking for you, and you know what happens when I have a mission in mind; things can either go horribly right or horribly wrong — “

“YES YES DARLING I WILL BE SURE TO DO SO THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A LOVELY FRIEND NOW DON’T KEEP YOUR OTHER FRIEND WAITING TOODLES AND BE SAFE!”

She urged you along before you could get another word in, and you nearly stumbled like a clumsy fool if not for Marvus catching your fall. “Reddy reddy, buddy?”

“Ready ready,” you breathlessly replied, graciously allowing him to lead you away hand-in-hand.

The crowd parted for the both of you on your way out. You caught a glimpse of a few glares and reddened eyes being thrown at you, and if you had a death wish, you might have stuck your tongue out at them. But you were a flimsy human with too much to lose now, so you stared straight ahead and focused on matching Marvus’s quick strides.

The quietness of the outside was jarring to your senses after enduring the loud music and boisterous socializing. Alternia's twin moons cast their colored rays onto your shimmering skin, lighting it up in a dazzling shine that could not meet its full potential under artificial light. Your vibrant glow must have caught Marvus's attention — he turned to look at you with widened eyes and paused his step. “Damn, lil mama,” he smoothly cooed, beckoning you into a twirl as he admired you from all angles. “Now I know I said earlier that u be lookin good an all dat, but dis is sum wild shit.”

You giggled. “It’s just the wicked glow of the Mirthful Messiahs watching over me,” you said and pointed to the sky with a smile. “Get it? Two moons, two prophets.”

“Amen, baby. The messiahs are errywhere and in errything,” he replied, guiding you towards the limo with an arm swung around your shoulders.

The driver was waiting patiently, bowing in respect as he opened the door for you. For a brief moment, you spared Lanque one final thought and wondered how his night had gone after your mini feud got cut short. But with Marvus hot on your heel as you clamored into the limo, you decided that your mental energy had better trolls to focus on.