#went to the gym today for the first time in months and my legs feel like jelly

[slythernnn]

I’ll finally be fully blonde again in 2 days 🙌🏽

[chvnnie]

my baby fever… its not going away…. help

Chan bought one of those little baby bathtubs the second he found out you were pregnant. It fit so perfectly in the kitchen sink, as if the house were constructed for the little life inside your belly. When he got to bathe the baby for the first time, using a tiny yellow wash cloth to gently clean her skin, tears stung his eyes. Though he bought this with every intention of using it, he never thought the day would actually come. Little, bright eyes blinking up at her father. A tiny hand reaching for his large fingers. He savors every second he gets to use the tiny tub, the day she’ll grow out of seeming impossibly far away.

It’s no surprise that Minho spends too much time in the kitchen, chopping away at veggie and fruits and pouring them into a blender. Different mixes based off your daughter’s preference. She just decided she loves the taste of peas, so he’s been putting them in all her food. It helps her explore new flavors, and there’s nothing that brings him more pride than watching his daughter enjoy the food he made for her. All the extras are spooned into jars, tucked away in the freezer for later use. Or to give to his friends — they really need to start making their own baby food, and stop stealing from Minho’s supply.

The twins see Changbin’s arms as a jungle gym; gripping onto his biceps tightly, squealing when he starts to lift them up. Their little legs kick out, the copy/paste versions of your husband overjoyed every time they’re lifted up higher and higher. Changbin’s arms are really sore today (he went a little hard in the gym) and honestly, he doesn’t love two three year olds clinging to him and begging him to lift them up over and over and over again. It’s another workout in itself. But he won’t stop until they’re tried of it — it’s worth the exhaustion.

It was Hyunjin’s idea to paint his daughter’s bedroom like this. Together they sit on the ground, the plastic of the protective wrap crinkling underneath them. Her hands are face up, pointed towards her father. Occasionally she giggles, telling him how cold the paint is on her bare skin. But she stays still, waiting until he covers every inch of her hand with the pale pink paint. Once he gives her the okay, she starts to place her hand on the wall. Over and over, leaving little marks until the paint has come off. Then, she sits again, asking for yellow paint this time.

Jisung couldn’t escape the studio today. There was too much work to do, and as much as he tried to push it off, eventually he had to go in. Your daughter is only about three months old, her head so tiny in the center of your partner’s chest. The black strap keeps her close to his body, his hands over her ears as he raps into the microphone in front of him. He doesn’t want to wake her. He doesn’t want to put her down. This is what will have to work. He runs the lyrics over and over again, her tiny breaths fanning across his t-shirt. Not once does she stir until he has stepped out to edit the track, whimpering softly. It’s time to focus on her — the track can wait.

Felix loves how warm his bed is when the kids are sleeping with you guys. He gets it, this is a hard habit to break. But there’s something about the way his daughter is tucked into his side, your leg reaching across to lay on top of his. It’s crowded, he’s teetering the edge. Honestly, he hasn’t slept that well tonight either. Ideally, there wouldn’t have been a storm, scaring his five and three year old into your shared bed. Felix would have been asleep a long time ago, hands all over you as he kept you close. But the second he starts to regret it, he hears his son’s snores. Feels his daughter shift in bed. Then he remembers how lucky he is to have this problem.

Seungmin’s son is gripping the rail in front of him for dear life. Brown eyes blown wide, looking out the window of their Ferris wheel seat. The five year old begged and begged until the two of you finally gave in — and what a shocker, your son who can barely get on a playground structure without complaining about the height hates it. Seungmin runs a hand over his soft hair, reassuring him that it’s safe. Mama and Papa are here, nothing bad can happen to him. He repeats that under his breath — Mama and Papa. Safe. Mama and Papa. Safe. Though, it doesn’t sound like he’s too convinced of it. That is, until you reach the peek. The ocean laid out before you three, sun making the water sparkle. His little hands relax, lips parting as he takes in the sight. That’s the day he fell in love with the sea, safe in between his Mama and Papa.

Jeongin turned his head for less than thirty seconds, just wanting to get a drink from his water bottle. That’s how long it took for his son to fall off his scooter, bare knees hitting the concrete hard and sliding. His sons cries bring his attention back, the water bottle hitting the ground. Rushing over to his son, Jeongin helps him up. Brings him in for a hug. He cries into his father’s shoulders, knees burning and bloody. It was scary. He went over a rock and lost control. It hurts. There are so many things going on in his little head right now. Jeongin picks up his son, carrying him inside the house and straight to the kitchen. He places him on the counter, cleaning the wounds as his son eats a popsicle. No stitches are needed thankfully — just a wipe and a bandaid, and it should clear up in a couple days. Though, his fear of the scooter is a little harder to shake.

so did that help or—

[londonbelow]

Honey Whiskey

a continuation of American Honey | in which Harry is a single dad/rancher and continues his secret affair with his babysitter warnings: age gap (both parties are consenting adults over the age of 21), unprotected sex, dirty talk, spitting, rough oral (m receiving), slight degradation, a hint of choking, squirting, brief mentions of body insecurities word count: 6.6k (I haven't written anything in like a month and I'm trying desperately to get out of the hole I'm in so pls stick with me through this shit ily ily ily)

The sun was burning hotter than hell. 

I felt like I was simply melting into the chair that I was lounging on, a smile tugging at my lips as I watched my best friend Kelsey play with her cousin Maisy in the water. I had been playing with her all morning and Kelsey finally arrived a few minutes ago to give me a damn break. As much as I loved that little girl, she was a ball of energy that I struggled to keep up with. Especially on days like today when the heat was insane and I was nursing a bit of a hangover. 

I slid my sunglasses over my eyes as I turned my head to look around me, searching for any sign of Harry, Maisy’s father. He asked me to come watch Maze this morning so he could get some work done around the ranch and I hadn’t seen him since I first arrived. 

Seeing him this morning was the first time since things… progressed between us.

I expected it to be awkward, but he couldn’t keep his smoldering eyes off of me and I could practically feel the desire seeping off his skin for me. 

My hand was trembling as I lifted it to knock on the front door, my heart feeling like it might pound right out of my chest. Harry and I hadn’t talked since the other night. When I got his text yesterday, I hoped it would be about seeing me again, but it was only about babysitting. He was his usual self, friendly and short, which made me feel a little confused. Was he going to just pretend that nothing happened? 

The door swung open and my eyes dropped to see Maze standing there, wearing a black bathing suit and chomping on a banana. I smiled as the little girl lit up at the sight of me, wrapping her free arm around my legs in a hug. 

“You’re here, you’re here! Daddy, she’s here!” 

“Hey my little rain cloud. You excited to go swimming?” I asked her, watching her nod and jump on the balls of her feet. 

“Excited? She hasn’t shut up about it since I told her yesterday.” Harry’s voice called out, sending a wave of joy right through my body. 

“You’re the one who hasn’t shut up about it!” Maisy called back to her father, turning her big eyes up to me in an roll, “He asked me a BILLION times to check the front window for you.” 

He walked out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel. Our eyes met and I felt my entire body flush, heat shooting right through me as his eyes took me in slowly. He started from my feet up, drinking in every inch of exposed skin and finally landing on my eyes. He smiled, the wrinkles near his eyes getting a little more pronounced when he did. His own cheeks went slightly pink and I shivered, unable to believe I could make a man like him blush. 

“Hi.” I said softly, chewing on my bottom lip to keep the very obvious smile off my face. 

“Hey there, honey. You want some pancakes?” He asked, gesturing toward the kitchen. 

Maisy groaned at the idea of having to wait for me to eat to get into the pool and I laughed, squeezing her little hand. 

“I already ate, but thanks. I better take our little mermaid outside before she just withers away.” I looked back up at him, watching his eyes fly up to meet mine from whatever body part of mine he was ogling. 

I’d never felt so good in my own skin before. The way Harry looked at me—like he wanted to devour every inch of my body, like he wanted to consume me—it made my confidence skyrocket. I’d always felt that I was too big to attract anyone, especially after my last boyfriend, who made constant hints about me going to the gym with him. But here was Harry, the most gorgeous man I’d ever laid my eyes on… and he couldn’t keep his off me. 

“Of course. Y’all have fun. Holler if you need me.” Harry said, licking his lips as his eyes searched my own. 

Maisy tugged me hard, dragging me past him. 

“We will.” I replied, silently praying he would reach his hand out and touch me as I passed him, but he didn’t. 

I could feel his eyes on my back as I walked away though, stinging like a sunburn after a long day of baking. 

I couldn’t stop myself from craning my neck all the way around to look back at the house, desperate for any movement inside that could be Harry. Just as I was ready to slump in my chair with disappointment, he came walking around the side of the house carrying a heavy bag of what looked like soil on his shoulder. 

He was dressed in tight jeans and his usual boots, a light gray t-shirt on his body that showed off the sweat stains from how hard he’d been working. My mouth went dry at the thought of licking drops of sweat off of his chiseled body and I had to force my eyes away from him to stop myself. 

“Hey Uncle H!” Kelsey called out to him, making me wince at the reminder that this man I was infatuated with was my best friend's literal uncle. 

It’s not weird. You only met her two years ago, you’re not a lifelong friend, you didn’t grow up with this man. It’s not weird. I reassured myself silently, nodding to myself in agreement. It wasn’t weird. We met as adults. Sure, there was an age gap but it didn’t bother me. I sighed. I knew it would bother Kelsey, which is where my guilt came from. 

“Hey Kels. When did you get here?” He asked her. 

My eyes followed him from behind my sunglasses, watching as he threw the bag down to the ground, straightening back out with a quiet little groan. My pussy clenched in desire when I heard that noise and then I was stifling my own fucking moan because Harry was reaching for the hem of his sweaty t-shirt. He peeled the material from his body, exposing his glistening chest and his tight muscles, which flexed every time he moved. 

His eyes slid to me as he tucked his shirt into the back of those gloriously tight jeans, his hand reaching up to rub through his sweaty curls slowly. I watched his eyes move down over the expanse of my body, which was stretched out on a lounge chair, sweat pooling in all of my crevices from the hot sun. 

“Just got here so our girl could take a breather.” Kelsey laughed, splashing some water in my general direction. 

“Yeah, we all know what a terror Miss Maze can be.” I teased, watching the small girl giggle and stick her tongue out at me, which I gave right back to her. 

“Anyone hungry yet? I’ll go in and make some sandwiches and lemonade.” Harry offered, moving toward the sliding glass door at the back of his house. 

“Yes, please!” Maisy called out, “And Doritos!” 

“Yeah, yeah. And Doritos.” He laughed, yanking the door open and stepping into the house, but not before shooting me another look over his shoulder. 

My heart was beating so fast that I swore Kelsey and Maze would see it right through my skin. My legs ached to move, to run into the house after him and beg him to take me in the kitchen instead of making lunch. I stayed still as long as I could and then I got up off the chair. 

“I’m gonna go see if he needs help.” I called out over my shoulder as nonchalantly as I could. 

“See if you can coax him into unlocking that precious liquor cabinet of his! I want some vodka in my lemonade.” Kelsey called out, which made me pause with my hand against the door. 

The irony. 

“I’ll see what I can do.” I laughed, shaking my head and prying the door open. 

The air conditioning was on full blast and I shivered as I crossed the threshold. My nipples went hard under my thin bikini top, goosebumps rising all over my arms and chest. I suddenly realized how nearly naked I was in the bright sunny kitchen and wished I would have thrown at least my shorts on before I came inside. I didn’t understand why I picked the tiniest bikini I owned, the one that showed off all of the dimples and dips in my skin, all of my stretch marks and imperfections. 

You picked it because you thought you could seduce him, so get on it! My thoughts taunted me. I pushed them away. 

I went to the fridge, yanking the door open to search for the pitcher of lemonade. I moved some things around and got onto the tips of my toes to reach the back of the top shelf where it had been shoved. 

“Need some help?” 

I jumped at the sound of Harry’s voice, turning around to look at him, nudging the fridge shut as I did so. He was standing right behind me, so close to me that I was surprised I didn’t feel him breathing on my neck. Or hear him come in. I was too busy chastising myself for my exposed skin, the same exposed skin that his eyes were drinking in right now. 

He was still shirtless, glistening with sweat despite how freezing cold it was in here. He leaned back against the island behind him, holding a short glass with about an inch or so of amber colored liquor in it. I watched him swirl the liquid around inside the glass slowly before he lifted it to his mouth, tilting it all down his throat in one smooth go. 

“Hi.” I said softly, my voice nearly squeaking, “I thought I’d help with lunch.” 

His eyes took me in, gliding from my eyes down to my neck, to my chest, to my stomach, all the way past my thighs and to my feet. Then back up… just as slow, his gaze so hot that I swore it was burning every inch of my skin that it covered. 

“What are you drinking?” I asked, desperate to fill the silence.

“Honey whiskey.” He smirked at me, letting his eyes graze lower as he continued, “You know how I love all things honey flavored.” 

I blushed something fierce, trying to keep my smile as demure as possible as I discreetly positioned the pitcher of lemonade in front of my stomach. Harry’s hand shot out, fingers pressing to it so he could shove it back out of the way, exposing my body to him. 

“Sweetheart… you’re being cruel.” He whispered, smiling slowly as he put the glass down behind him. 

“Cruel?” I frowned at him, my eyebrows furrowing. 

He pushed off the kitchen island, stepping toward me, forcing me to crane my head back to look up at him. I was frozen like a deer in headlights. All I could do was stumble backwards away from him, but I hit the counter behind me with nowhere to go. He took the pitcher of lemonade from my hands and put it down for me. 

“I’ve seen you in my pool a hundred times,” He spoke quietly, his arms going to either side of me, locking me in against the counter, “And I’ve never seen you wearing a bikini this small before. Now why’s that?” 

“Um,” I swallowed, shrugging, “Maybe it shrank.” 

“Or maybe you picked it out knowing that I wouldn’t be able to keep my fuckin’ hands to myself when I saw you in it.” He said, leaning in so close to me that I could feel each word as he breathed them onto my mouth. 

“You haven’t touched me yet, so I’d say you—” 

His mouth crashed down against mine, hands sliding off the counter to wrap around my waist instead. I could taste the honey whiskey on his mouth. He was hot, so hot, his skin and his mouth and his tongue all feeling like they could burn me. I plunged my hands into his sweaty curls, tugging at them, rubbing my body up against his like a cat in heat. 

He moaned against me, his hands slipping down to grasp at every inch of flesh that he could get at. He squeezed at my hips, at the rolls at my sides, at the plump curve of my ass. He pulled me against him so hard that I thought I’d mold into him. 

“Harry…” I gasped out as his lips trailed down to my neck, his scruff rough against my delicate skin, “Please…” 

“You wore this just to tease me, didn’t you?” He growled out, lifting a hand up to grasp my jaw tightly, prying my mouth open when he did. He popped his thumb into my mouth and I groaned as I sucked on it happily. 

His free hand went to my bikini top, yanking the thin material away from my breasts to expose them to the cold air and his warm mouth. He moaned as he swirled his tongue around one of my hardened nipples, his teeth scraping softly around the sensitive skin. I gasped, my hips jutting forward to seek out some sort of friction from him. 

“Mmm… you taste so good.” He whispered into my skin, slipping his thumb from my mouth so he could slide his hands down to my outer thighs. 

I gasped loudly as he shoved me up onto the counter, spreading my thighs and pressing himself between them. The rough material of his jeans over his hard cock rubbed all over my pussy, making me moan at the friction. He bit down lightly on my sensitive nipple, dragging his hands up over my sides as he found my lips again. I panted into his mouth, eyes fluttering open to find his own staring back at me darkly. 

“What am I doing?” He whispered, almost to himself as he slid his hands up my chest to my neck, “We shouldn’t be doing this.” 

He said the words but his mouth found mine right after, his tongue slick against my own, his hands exploring my body. They went to my hips, pulling at me until my ass was on the edge of the counter. I was desperate for pleasure, rubbing my cunt all over him, grinding against his hard bulge. His fingers gripped at my thighs hard enough to bruise them and I realized that he was matching my movements, just as desperate as I was. 

He was panting, shaking his head, but his mouth was still against mine as he murmured, “You’re too young for me.” 

“I’m just right for you.” I whispered back, nipping at his bottom lip, watching his mouth fall open, “I’m perfect for you.” 

I kissed him again, sliding my tongue against his in a sloppy manner, trembling at the feeling of his hands as they slid to my arms. He squeezed tight and I worried he would push me back, worried that he would stop this. He looked down at me, his eyes heavily-lidded, like he was drunk. I knew he wasn’t, he was just so aroused that he could barely think straight. I knew it because I felt the same. 

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you.” He whispered, shaking his head slightly before he pulled me back to his mouth. 

I moaned as he dropped his hands back down to my thighs, accepting defeat. I squealed in surprise when he lifted me off the counter like I weighed nothing, my legs automatically wrapping around his waist tightly. I wanted to throw him down on the kitchen floor and ride him right here, but I knew he was taking me somewhere more private. We couldn’t risk being caught. 

He carried me into his home office, kicking the door shut behind him quickly. He gripped my waist with one arm as his other one swiped over his desk, shoving anything in his way onto the floor as he sat me down on the edge of it. He yanked his t-shirt out of his pocket and tossed it on the floor as he plopped down into his large leather chair. Our eyes met as he patted his hand against his thigh very lightly. 

“Get in my lap.” He breathed out, “You wanna be good for me? C’mere. Get in my lap, sweetheart.” 

I nodded eagerly, shifting down into his lap. I straddled him in the chair, my inner thighs squeezing him tightly as I rocked my hips down hard until I felt his cock pressing up against my pussy. I moaned against him at the feeling of him—rock hard under his tight jeans, the friction against my clit sending waves of warmth through my stomach. 

“That’s it.” He encouraged me, trailing his mouth away from my own so he could move it down over my neck. He bit the sensitive skin there, sucking it into his mouth until I was sure a red hickey would form. I didn’t know how I’d explain that. I didn’t care to think of it. It felt too good. 

I slid my hand up to his throat and pushed him back from my body by it, feeling braver by the second. Our eyes met, his lips swollen from our kisses, open and panting for more. I rolled my hips forward again, watching his eyes squeeze shut at the way I felt against his cock. 

“Look at me. Tell me you want me.” I whispered, not a beg or a plea but an order, “Tell me how bad you want my pussy… look at how you’re trembling for it.” 

“Fuck,” His hands tightened around my hips, yanking me down even harder into his lap as he jerked his body up to meet it, “I want you, I fucking need your pussy… need that wet, tight pussy gripping my cock. Need to see it, let me…” 

He urged me backwards to lean against the edge of his desk, the wood sharp against my spine. I didn’t care. I would have twisted my body into unimaginable positions to give him whatever he wanted. He looked down at my pussy, covered by my small bikini bottoms. 

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous...” He whispered, rubbing his fingers down over my slit. I wished he would rip them right off my body and feel my bare cunt. 

As if he read my mind, he began to tug at the strings that held my bottoms together, his eyes flashing up to mine. I kept my eyes on his, swallowing hard as he unwrapped my pussy like it was a gift. The bottoms fell away from my body and onto the floor, his eyes turning down to look at me as soon as I was bare. 

“Honey,” He breathed out, two of his fingers swiping up along my wet slit, shaking his head slightly, “Look how wet you are. You want me this bad? S’fucking pathetic for me, aren’t you?”

He watched my reaction as he showed me his fingers, glistening with my arousal. He offered them to me and I wrapped my lips around them, tasting myself on his skin. I swirled my tongue around his fingers, lapping at them desperately, watching his eyes glisten at me. 

“Such a good girl.” He murmured, pulling his fingers back, grasping onto my thighs tightly to yank me back into his lap. 

I snuggled down against him, grinding my pussy all over his lap. My eyes fluttered up at the feeling of his hard cock under me, so rock solid for me. 

He squeezed my cheeks to force my lips open so he could fuck his tongue into my mouth, moaning as he tasted me. I couldn’t believe how much I was aching from his kisses alone, I was never one to enjoy a sloppy or wet kiss but his were so fucking desperate. It was like he needed to fuck every hole on my body with his tongue, like he had to lick every inch of my mouth and taste every crevice of me before he was satisfied. I’d never felt that desire from anyone and I couldn’t stop shaking from the way it made me feel. 

Harry pulled away from the kiss slightly, but I yanked him right back, tasting him the way he just did to me. 

“Spit in my mouth.” I whispered against his lips, half-opening my hazy eyes as I repeated myself, “Spit in my mouth.” 

His eyes sparkled, “You wanna taste me? Open.” 

I gladly did, extending my tongue to him, watching his own as it worked behind his closed lips. His hold on my face turned softer, almost tender as he let his spit slowly dribble down onto my waiting tongue. He wrapped his lips around it right after, sucking on it and pressing his own tongue into my mouth. His free hand grabbed onto my cheeks and made me look down at his lap, squeezing my face tightly. 

“Look at the way you’re dripping all over my jeans. Should make you get on your fuckin’ knees and lick it off.” He said, to which I let out a whine and began to nod as much as I could, “Yes? You want to? Use your words, sweetheart.” 

He didn’t release my face, he squeezed it harder as he pulled me close to him, his eyes dark as they flickered over me. 

“I want to! Please, let me clean it for you. Let me taste you.” I begged him, my fingers desperately reaching under my body for his zipper. 

“On your knees.” He ordered me, his strong hands back to gripping my arms as he guided me off his desk and onto the floor in front of him. He gestured to the wet spot I left against the crotch in his jeans and my face went up in flames. 

“Lick it.” He whispered, reaching over to curl his fingers into my hair, pulling my head down, “Taste your cunt all over my jeans like a good girl.” 

My eyes flashed up to look at him as I carefully slid my tongue along the wet spot in his crotch. He shivered at the sight, shaking his head slightly as I continued to lick across my arousal. The taste of myself mixed with the material of his jeans was sharp, I was surprised and a little embarrassed at how well I could actually taste myself there. I really was dripping for him. 

My thighs rubbed together desperately trying to get any friction I could. I was so wet that I was dripping down my thighs and I couldn’t stand another moment of not having his cock in my mouth. 

“Need your cock.” I mumbled, looking up at him with pleading eyes. I flattened my tongue along the outline of his hard length through his jeans, feeling his fingers tighten in my hair, “Please, Harry… please, let me make you feel good.” 

A strangled sound escaped his mouth as he nodded at me almost violently, his fingers flying down to undo his pants. I thought I would have liked for him to tug those tight jeans down so I could see his thighs, but he didn’t. He only reached in and pulled his hard cock out for me. Something about only being able to see his dripping cock exposed made it feel inherently dirtier, made my entire body buzz with a thrill. 

His cock was perfect to me. Not too long, perfectly thick, the head of it flushed dark pink and dripping with precum for me. Thick veins protruded from the sides and throbbed along with his pulse. Harry wrapped his hand around the base of his cock and brought it up in one slow stroke. My mouth watered when more precum dripped out for me, his thumb pressing over his slit so he could spread it around the head. 

“Give me that tongue.” He whispered, guiding my face down to his lap as I bared my tongue to him. He tapped the head of his cock against it, letting me taste the slightly salty drops of his arousal. He gasped softly as he did this a few more times and then he pressed his cock into my mouth. 

I moaned when I finally tasted him fully, swirling my tongue around the head excitedly, lapping up every drop of him. He tangled his fingers into my hair, urging my face down gently, like he was testing me to see if I could take more. I could. I slid my mouth down until I met his hand which was still wrapped around the base. I pulled back until my lips popped off him and I spit onto his cock, watching my saliva slowly drip down to his fist. 

“Fuck. Fuck, baby…” He gasped out, sliding his hand up over his shaft once again, helping to spread my spit all over it, “You’re such a filthy little thing, aren’t you?” 

I smiled as I slid my mouth back down around his cock, urging his hand to move away so I could take him all the way. He pressed into my throat, feeling the resistance, but I forced past it until I could feel his cock at the back of it. I held him there for a moment, held him there until he started to jerk his hips up, clearly needing to fuck something. I nodded around him and his hands were suddenly on either side of my head and he began to roughly fuck up into my face, slamming me down onto his cock over and over. 

“God!” He cried out, pulling my mouth off of him as quickly as he started. I was panting heavily and drooling, dumb for his cock. He held me very still as he looked away from me, trying his hardest to hold his orgasm back. 

I let out a whine, my hands going down to slip between my thighs so I could touch my aching clit finally. He stopped me before I could even get near my cunt. He reached for me, pulling me back until I was sitting on the edge of his desk once again. He stood in front of me, angling himself between my spread legs. 

Harry trailed his large hand down over my chest, yanking my bikini top down once more to expose my breasts. He pinched each of my nipples and then his head dove forward so he could wrap his lips around them, sucking them hard. His teeth grazed over my sensitive skin and I nearly screamed at the pleasure I was feeling. 

“Harry, please!” I cried out, my hips rolling against nothing, seeking some sort of pleasure out. I was humping the air, that’s how desperate I had become for him. 

“How wet are you for me now? Show me.” He whispered, his voice so calm despite the way he was shaking as he pulled back from his assault on my breasts. “Spread those fucking legs… oh, honey… fuck.” 

I leaned back on my elbows, spreading my thighs as wide as I could to show off my glistening cunt. His hand moved to begin stroking his cock again as he looked down at me. His eyes were heavy-lidded and black with lust, his pupils so blown out that all the green had disappeared. 

“Touch yourself.” He said, biting down on his bottom lip to stifle a moan as I obeyed, my fingers slipping down to my cunt. 

I scissored my fingers in a V shape, spreading my swollen lips open so he could see how absolutely dripping I was before I slid those fingers down to thrust them inside of myself. 

I was so drunk with lust and the need to come that I couldn’t even focus on putting on a show for him the way I would have liked. I could only press my fingers into my slippery cunt and feel how soaking wet I was as I pressed the heel of my palm into my clit. I began to shake at the pleasure that rolled through me, the only sounds being of our heavy panting and my wet pussy gushing as I fucked myself with my fingers. 

Harry couldn’t look away from me, but he was shaking his head, like he was fighting some inner demons about what we were doing here in his office with his family right outside. 

“Fuck it. I’m going to hell anyways.” He breathed out, and then he was wrapping his hand around my wrist and yanking me forward by it. 

He brought my fingers up to his mouth, shiny with my arousal, and I watched him guide my fingertips over his lips slowly. I could feel his cock pressing against my entrance below us and I quickly adjusted myself a little to give him easier access. Neither of us moved for a moment, both knowing that we shouldn’t be doing this but unable to stop ourselves. 

I made the first move this time. I pushed my fingers into his mouth at the same time that his cock sank slowly into my tight cunt. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he sucked at my fingers in a greedy manner, his hands moving to grip at my waist. I knew there would be bruises on my hips tomorrow in the shapes of his fingers, but I didn’t care. I wanted a reminder of him. 

His hands gripped onto me tightly and he didn’t let me do any work. He just held me still while he thrusted forward into my cunt roughly, causing me to cry out in pleasure. He dropped his forehead against mine, his eyes flashing down to meet mine. 

“Do I taste good?” I asked him as I slid my wet fingers out of his mouth, moving them to grip his jaw in my hand, “Let me taste.” 

It was his turn to offer his tongue to me and I slid my own against it, slipping it around in a swirling motion as I pressed it back into his mouth. I could taste my cunt there, the musky, feminine taste of my arousal so familiar to me. I moaned into him as my tongue went wild, licking at every crevice of his mouth. He began to fuck me even harder, his cock stretching me open and making me feel like I was being split into two.

I had to pull back from the kiss to moan and cry out, my hands reaching out for something to steady myself on. One hand wrapped around the edge of his desk, the other tangling into the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“Harder… make it hurt…” I whimpered out loudly, “Fuck!” 

“Shh.” He slammed his hand over my mouth, “Quiet for me, baby. Quiet. Can’t let anyone know what a delicious little fucktoy I have in here. Mine, mine, mine…” 

I whined into his palm, nodding my head vigorously. Yes, I was his. I was his this whole time. I’d be his forever if he wanted me that long. I tried to move, tried to match his thrusts, but he wouldn’t let me. He was in control of my body, he owned it, he was going to use me like a toy. Fucktoy, he called me. I enjoyed it more than I ever imagined I would. 

“You’re perfect, so perfect… your cunt is a fuckin’ dream.” He panted out, slamming his body into me harder and harder, “Touch yourself. I want you to feel you come around my cock.” 

I gripped onto his shoulder with one hand to steady myself as I slid the other between my thighs. He cursed softly as I started to rub my clit in quick circles. I moaned against his palm, feeling myself start to drool from how fucked out I was. 

I was weak, his cock slamming into me hurt so good and I couldn’t keep holding myself up. I fell back against the desk, his hand falling from my mouth as I did. The new angle made his cock press right up against my g-spot and I couldn’t stop the sob from escaping my mouth at how deliciously good it felt. 

“My little crybaby slut, shh…” Harry murmured to me, reaching a hand down to wipe my tears, “I know it feels so fucking good, honey… I know. You’re doing so good for me. Taking every inch of my cock… fuck, you feel incredible.” 

“I’m gonna come,” I whimpered out, “can’t hold it…” 

“Just a little longer, just a…” He gasped out, “Tell me… tell me how bad you want me…” 

I whined, feeling my stomach tighten up as my orgasm built faster and faster, “So fucking bad… I touch myself every night thinking about you. Dream about the way your cock felt inside of me, splitting me open l-like… like it is right now, fuck! Harry, please, please let me come, I’ll be so good for you…” 

Harry’s eyes flashed and his thrusts became that of an animalistic nature, like he had snapped and lost all grip on reality, “Come for me, baby. Come on my cock.” 

His thrusts were so feral that his desk actually moved, it rocked back a foot or so with force. I couldn’t stop to focus on it as my orgasm finally hit its peak and washed over me. My vision blurred and blackened as I came harder than I ever thought was possible, so hard that I felt as if I were seeing stars. I was shaking viciously as my cunt gushed once again, this time wetting his bare chest and his jeans much more than it did the last time. 

“Oh god,” He moaned at the sight, reaching his hand between us so he could start to rub my clit in quick, harsh circles, “Give me one more.” 

“I… I can’t…” I gasped out, shaking my head, but I was lying. I could. I could feel it start to build as soon as he touched my clit, but I was so sensitive that it almost hurt. 

“You can and you will.” He ordered me, his hand moving faster, pressing down hard, “C’mon, princess. Come for me, show me how good you can be.” 

“Fuck!” I cried out, my eyes flashing open to look down as I came once more, his hand working quick circles through my entire second orgasm. 

I had to reach down to wrap my hand around his wrist and stop him, holding him still as I twitched and squirted a little more. He thrusted into me only a few more times, his mouth claiming my own so I would muffle the sound of his moaning. He was so vocal, all slow moans and heavy breaths as he came hard. His hands slid over the sides of my body, groping at my sweaty skin as he pulled me into a sitting position. Our bare chests pressed together as his tongue massaged mine. 

My legs were trembling as I dropped them from where they were locked around his waist. His large hands moved over my shoulders and down my back, feeling over my spine. I didn’t ever want to stop kissing him. It made my entire body feel alive. I clung to him a little tighter, wishing I could rewind and relive this moment again and again and again. 

Harry held my face in his hands as he pulled back to look at me, running his thumbs across the apples of my cheeks.

“You’re all burnt.” He smiled, his voice low, “Didn’t your parents ever tell you to wear sunscreen?” 

“No. You wanna play daddy and teach me?” I lifted an eyebrow to him, tilting my face further into his palm. 

“Don’t be bad now.” He shook his head, smiling brighter and lowering his lips to mine, “Not after showing me how good you are…” 

He kissed me a moment longer before pulling back, reaching out a hand to pull a handful of tissues from the box that thankfully hadn’t been pushed onto the ground in our passionate state. He breathed out a quiet sigh as he pulled out of me, pressing the tissues against me to stop the spill of his semen from dripping out. 

I eyed him as he straightened himself out, zipping up his jeans as he reached down for my bikini bottoms from the floor. He examined them, looking confused by the many strings, as if he intended to figure them out and dress me himself. I shot him a gentle smile as I took them from him to do it on my own. 

“So…” He started to say, his heavy gaze on me as I pulled my bikini back into place, tightening the strings and adjusting my top. 

“So…” I repeated, giving him a look, watching him rub a hand over his face with a soft curse. 

“Are you…” He broke off, his hand working to the back of his neck as he looked at me sheepishly, “Are you seeing anyone right now?” 

“Hmm?” I cocked my head in confusion, “Like dating? No… nope. Not dating anyone.” 

“You’re not going out with that Jace Matthews kid?” He asked, a skeptical look on his face. 

“Jace?” I blurted out, my face heating, “No. I mean… no, we just fooled around a little.” 

Harry’s face hardened, his voice dark, “Last night?” 

“No!” My eyebrows knitted together. 

“Sam mentioned he saw you out with him last night… I just assumed.” He shrugged a shoulder, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. 

Sam Davis. One of Harry’s closest friends and probably the only person who knows how he actually feels about me. Maze told me how she overheard the two of them talking about my ‘honey’ and she thankfully confused it with me keeping bees. I didn’t know how I was going to produce a beehive for her if she ever actually insisted on seeing them. 

“Oh.” I straightened up, a lightbulb going off in my head. He was jealous. I relaxed with a soft smile, “God, no. Jace is old news, we just have some mutual friends now. I haven’t… there isn’t anyone else but you.” 

“Good.” He whispered to me, leaning up against the door behind him, his eyes flickering over my face. 

My face went up in flames again. I was grateful for the sunburn on my cheeks, praying that it was helping to disguise how often this man seemed to make me blush. He had a real talent for it. 

“What about you and that vet? Isobel, right?” I asked him, remembering the amount of times I watched in envy as he flirted with the pretty veterinarian who came to take care of his horses. 

His eyes narrowed slightly as he shook his head, “We had some sparks at one point, I guess. But not now. Not anymore.” 

He reached behind his body and popped the door open, pushing it out so I could pass him and head back to the kitchen. We’d been gone so long that Maze and Kelsey would certainly expect a gourmet lunch instead of sandwiches and Doritos. I hoped she wouldn’t question me about it later. 

“And what about me?” I asked him as I stepped forward, getting closer to him, “Do you feel sparks with me?” 

We stared at one another for a long, intense moment. He shifted forward, pressing his body against mine, trapping me between him and the door frame. His arms slid easily around my waist and his eyes were smoldering as they met my own. I thought he might kiss me again and send us both into another sexual frenzy, but he just leaned in close. He lightly glided the tip of his nose along the side of my face, inhaling my scent. 

“Not sparks, honey.” Harry murmured, his lips brushing over my cheek and toward my ear, “Wildfires.” 

[thedisablednaturalist]

Tw for weight loss mention

The whole exercise will cure your disability thing is a fucking joke. Yes exercise is beneficial for your health, but only if you aren't already on shaky foundations. You need to be on a treatment plan that WORKS before going into the maintenance phase. You wouldn't do regular maintenance on a broken item, you'd work on getting it up and running first. And maybe it would even need specialized maintenance afterwards if it's especially fragile.

I have fibromyalgia and acute degenerative disc disease. My immune system attacks my nerves and discs in my spine are slowly calcifying and causing the bones to constrict and damage my nerves (i think thats how it works). I have days where it feels like my body is on fire from nerve pain and days where it feels like my spine is about to rip from my back. And days where I have both (like today!). I get numbness in my hands and feet. I have horrible migraines. I can no longer walk unaided more than maybe 5 minutes without severe pain. I have something wrong with my knees and hips but the doctors don't know what yet.

You'd think I live an obviously seditary lifestyle correct?

Hell no.

I walk aided on average 6 miles a day over difficult terrain OUTSIDE of regular activity almost everyday. My legs are muscular and strong. I get my heart rate up and a good sweat, like all the gym rats swear on. I am often doing physical labor such as weeding, digging, sample collecting, pruning trees etc.

I'm not saying this to make other disabled people feel bad or prove that they can do anything if they just tried harder. This is an extremely painful lifestyle I've chosen that takes a lot of lifestyle management AND BOUNDARIES to keep up with the work. I also have an extremely forgiving boss who is also physically disabled and knows what I'm going through (deciding between your passion and your health and having to do so each and every day) No one should ever be expected to do what I do. I'm not even sure if I should be doing this myself.

This is to prove that exercise? Has not cured me. My muscles are strong but still hurt as if they're broken and I have to take more breaks than my coworker. I am constantly getting out of breath and I flare up regularly if I'm not careful. I am in excellent physical condition outside of my disabilities. I go to different doctors several times a month to get checked out.

I previously went through a diet program and lost a lot of weight (basically starving myself and got off my depression meds which cause weight gain but are also the only ones that work) and guess what? That didn't do shit either!!! I still felt horrible!!! I've since gained back the weight anyway after switching to focusing on adding more nutrient dense foods than taking stuff away from my diet (also muscle weighs more than fat, and fat helps cushion my aching joints and spine).

The muscle doesn't do shit for my disabilities outside of maybe some stability. Exercising everyday doesn't make the pain go away. Without my medications and aids and nutrition plans and steroid injections and spinal adjustments and physical therapy (that takes my fibro and spine into account) and alternative work methods I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I DO. Exercise alone is like trying to make a car run with no oil. Yes it'll go but it'll get more and more damaged till it can't and will need its entire engine replaced!

And yet I see new doctors and they look at me and the first thing out of their mouths is do I exercise? I should try doing a little every day :) and then i fucking blow their minds when I tell them about my job. No longer can they use that fucking cop out on me. I've been through this rodeo. Ive tried their suggestions. If you are in pain and nothing is helping? Exercise ain't going to do SHIT. You need to get to a point where you can move without severe pain first (if that's even possible). Then and only then should you consider implementing regular exercise if you can. Also weight loss talk is a red flag and a cop out. They made me lose 50+ lbs before they would look into the reasons behind my pain. Weight loss did nothing for me and exacerbated my pain.

I am living proof that all that shit is a lie and a cop out. That is the point of this post. I cannot believe people with serious medical conditions are being forced to put their bodies through extreme duress just to be believed. You are not disabled because of laziness or because you sit a lot. Plenty of people live seditary lifestyles and do not live in constant excruciating pain (they may develop disabilities later in life due to this however, and should be doing preventative exercises to maintain their health)

Please, share my story with doctors. Use me as an example. I am proof that "exercise first treat later" does not work. I should not have had to wait years to have my pain validated. I'd rather hundreds of fakers get (what? A blood test? An MRI?) than one chronically ill person get told to try yoga and go away by a doctor.

[darlingsfandom]

hii i love ur fics, can i request a stalker neil from watching the detectives!!

Hi friend !! Thank you🥺🥺 everyone's making me soft today !

"I promise mom! I'm fine!" You spoke into the telephone as you finished loading your dishwasher.

"I know I know you're worried. It's been two months though! My neighbor is very nice. He's ... yes I said HE! Mom stop I'm twenty five! It's not like I haven't seen a boy before!" You rolled your eyes at her over the phone before shutting off the main light to your kitchen. "As I was saying, he's very nice! He's helped me bring my groceries when I've gotten home, helped me bring in the trash cans. He even helped me when I moved in! Really nice guy. His name? His name is Neil. He owns the video store in town. Porn? Mom! I'm not going to ask him if he rents out porn. That's not my place." You were now in your laundry room switching the laundry over when something caught your eye. A pair of your rose printed panties were missing along with your white cotton ones covered in little hearts. You frowned your eyebrows in thought as you listened to your mom go on and on about whatever church function was happening now.

"Mom, I love you but it's getting late and you know I enjoy my rest. Uh huh yes mom I'll call you again soon, love you too! Bye." You hung your phone up back in the kitchen and went to the fridge to grab a drink but the feeling you had earlier came back. You shook it off before slamming the fridge shut and making your way into your bedroom. You cracked open the window to let the cool breeze in while you stood in front it and stripped down to just your panties. Little to your knowledge Neil was watching you. He had been outside your house the whole time you were on the phone with your mother. It wasn't the first time he watched you. Neil had been watching you since the day you moved in next door to him. You were wearing some gym shorts and an old music shirt with your hair up carrying three boxes at once! He was in love already and he knew you'd be his one day.

Neil watched from the bush outside your bedroom window. You were bent over looking for something under your bed. Your underwear were lining your pussy perfectly and Neil could've cum right there! He had your little heart panties balled up in his fist as he watched you wiggle your ass. It was like his own personal peep show. Even though this wasn't his first time watching you, he still got excited every time. He's watched you sleep, shower, get ready, undress and everything else in between. He's studied you and luckily for him you were a creature of habit.

You pulled the remote for your tv out from under the bed and stood up before dusting yourself off making your tits jiggle a little and groan leave Neil's lips. Your eyebrows knitted in confusion when he did so but once again you brushed it off. Once you had your tv and snuggled up the blankets it wasn't long before you were sleeping and Neil made his move. He quietly opened your window more and let himself in. He stood by the edge of your bed and watched as your chest rose and fell, the way your lips were slightly parted, you were his! You just didn't know it.

When you woke up the next morning, your eyes felt heavy and you felt hot. You got up slowly and looked down to see your panties were gone! "What the fuck??" You yelled out loud as you stood up naked. "What kind of sick pervert!!" You know you had panties when you fell asleep. As you moved you felt a different sensation on your legs. You used your finger to wipe it off. "ewww!!" You ran into the bathroom to clean yourself up when someone decided now was a good time to knock. You grabbed your robe and rushed to the door.

"What the fuck do you want Neil ?" You answered the door as he stood there with a smile on his face.

"It's Saturday morning! We have breakfast every Saturday morning for the last two months!"

You slumped your shoulders and ran your hand over your face while letting him in. He stepped inside and took off his coat. Something seemed different about Neil today but you couldn't place it.

"Sorry, it's been a weird morning already." You got the coffee ready as Neil leaned against the counter top.

"Is that so? What's going on ?" He crossed his arms as you bent over to grab the creamer out of the fridge. A pathetic laugh left your lips as you turned to face him.

"First , we'll okay it started last night when I was on the phone with my mom. I was swapping laundry and found that two pairs of my panties are missing, then I'm looking under my bed for my remote and I heard this noise like someone got hurt outside. I thought it was Mr.Smith having his good ol walk home from the bar. But then the weird stuff happened when I woke up naked! My panties were gone again and as I get up I feel sticky! It's like some pervert came in my room and stole my panties and then came on my thighs while I sleeping! What kind of gross pervert steals a woman's panties and covers her in cum? While she's sleeping!" You threw your hands up before placing them on your hips and shook your head. The feeling of being watched hit you again.

Neil stood there with a grin on his face before he lunged at you taking you by surprise. You stood frozen as he searched in your eyes.

"Don't be scared pretty girl! I'd never hurt you! You're my girl! My beautiful girl! Who really should know better than to keep her window open at night! Some nasty pervert could've came in and made a mess of you ... oh wait! " his lips turned into a wicked smile before shoving you into the hallway. "See! You're my girl and no one else's! That's why I had to take your panties, can't have you wearing these and those skirts so everyone can see your pretty pussy and trust me baby, it's pretty! Watched you play with it enough to know so." Neil cupped your face in his hands and kissed you hard. You tried to push him away but he gripped your wrists hard. "Don't push me away baby! I can give you everything you want!" He started kissing at the tears rolling down your face before kissing down your neck while shoving your robe to the ground.

Exposed! You felt exposed to Neil. You trusted Neil and he's your stalker! You slapped yourself in your head for being so stupid. All the memories of him being perfectly on time with things, how he knew what you had for dinner before you told him ... all the little details were flooding your brain as he bit the side of your neck. The pain took over and made you pull onto his hair. Neil's lips attached to your nipples hungrily sucking and bruising them as he kept eye contact with your tear stained eyes. Your hands pulled on his hair tighter making him bite your nipple before he kissed down your stomach until he bit down your left hip making sure to suck a bruise onto your flesh. Neil waisted no time in spreading your legs and admiring how pretty your pussy was. He spread your folds open and licked upwards into you with the flat of his tongue. You should be mad, you should be disgusted but you'd be lying if you said it didn't feel good.

Neil's tongue was working you over while he fumbled with his belt. Once he was done with his pants, he pulled out his cock and started fisting himself and you shouldn't be enjoying hearing the wet sounds of him jerking himself or the sound of him lapping your pussy and rubbing your clit with tip of his nose. You started bucking forward. You held his head still and found yourself fucking your self on his mouth which made Neil pump harder and moan into your pussy.

"Oh fuck! Neil! You're a fucking pervert! Such a nasty boy!" You cried out loudly while riding his face harder. Your orgasm was hitting you hard as you whined loudly. Your creamy orgasm washed over his face as your knees buckled causing you to surface him with your thighs but he didn't mind, he was drowning in your creamy little pussy.

"Fuck!" He breathed heavily as you pulled away and watched him jerk his cock as fast as he could. You got down on your knees next to him and wrapped your lips around the head of his cock. Neil's lips turned into the perfect O as he spurted into your mouth. He enjoyed watching you take his cum but to his surprise instead of swallowing, you grabbed his face and spit his own cum into his mouth.

"You're playing with fire Neil , I can be just as disgusting as you."

[that1fangirrl]

okay i wrote a little sumn sumn with no editing, just thoughts... it's not finished but I figured I'd put something out...if you want me to write some more for this and fix it up, lemme know cause i love writing for college!matty 😩Inbox always opened, so feel free. also it's pretty smutty so umm minors get out.

LAST WARNING... IM DEADASS!!!

“11:26 am”, you had been studying for almost two hours now. Foggy and your friend, Lizzie were off in their own world, abandoning any thoughts of you or Matt. The two of them spent every study session, giggling and flirting. Sure, you weren’t a law student and didn’t have to tag along, but Lizzie always invited you. Something about “being with people your age makes you more social”. But really she just wanted an excuse to be around Foggy even more. It wasn’t completely terrible. You weren’t completely alone. Foggy’s roommate, Matt, was always there. A slight grimace on his face like he could see what was happening from across the room, then somehow shaking it off and turning back to his books. You, being the top of your classes left you with not much to study. 

Today was no different. Matt was reading his notes in disgust and the lovebirds were already packing up their bags to go back to Lizzie’s. The two of them stood up, rushing out a quick “we’re just gonna go pick up some food. See you guys in a bit” and running out the room. Foggy wasn’t even trying to hide the boner in pants at this point. You looked down at your watch then at Matt. His shades met your gaze. “How many days do you think it’ll take for them to realize we know they’re fucking?” You giggled a little, fixing your glasses. “Who knows? I told Liz, I didn’t care. But she insists they haven’t done anything yet.” Your eyes roll. You stand up closing your book, walking over to Matt’s bed. He does the same, sitting up and pushing his notes over. His arms stretch out as you reach him and straddle his lap. Your lips connect with soft moans following behind. 

“Enough about them. What about us? Two months and they’ve hardly noticed we’ve been fucking.” You sigh into Matt’s mouth. A soft questioning look on your face. “We are? Man, I just thought we were studying anatomy.” His hands reach up to your blouse, unopening the three buttons at the top. His hands squeeze down on your breasts, face settling nose first in the valley of them. He takes a deep breath, before looking back up with a dopey smile. “Well then, I must be amazing at anatomy. My favorite body part is this one.” His hands reach down towards your ass. A loud sigh leaves your lips. “I guess that would make this one… mine.” You reach into his sweats and palm his cock. “Mmmhh. It’s definitely yours Angel.”

The two of you hadn’t done nearly as much as the previously mentioned couple. Mostly, just grinding, making out and the occasional giving and receiving of head. The first time it happened shocked you both. Matt had been late for one of the study sessions. You were the only one there, not wanting to ruin your groove after Foggy and Liz left. Matt looked like he ran a marathon. Sweat dripping all over ,chest still heaving, sweats hugging the right places and hair all over the place. Apparently, after failing one of his tests, he went out to the gym to “punch out his feelings”. You tried your best to stay focused on helping him, but he looked so fucking hot. Unbeknownst to you, Matt was catching onto the shift in you. He had never smelled something so sweet. When you went in for a comforting hug, he let slip that he was still a bit pent up. So being the good friend you were, you slid down to your knees and offered to help him “relax”. 

Ever since then, you guys continued to relax together. Matt was a huge tease. Especially during the last few study sessions. Just last week, your covers were almost blown. Foggy had come back and found you and Matt cuddled up next to each other on Matt’s bed. If he weren’t so oblivious, he probably would’ve noticed how your legs were wide open and splayed on Matt’s lap with his hand moving at the slowest pace on the planet. You thought he had finally figured it out, when your head fell forward and you let out a small squeal. Matt, being quick on his toes, said he had accidentally grazed a spot where you were known to be quick ticklish. After Foggy finished whatever it was he was up to, Matt went right back to finger fucking you under the covers. Let’s just say the laundry attendant was pretty confused seeing Matt again for the second time in two days. 

Back to now, you both were breathing in each other. Hands everywhere. Rediscovering places you had been before. You both were so caught up with each other, that you hadn’t even heard the door opening. A loud gasp sounded from the doorframe. Following it was an even louder, “WHAT. THE. FUCK?!” Your head whipped around hard enough to give whiplash. Both Lizzie and Foggy were standing shocked with pizza and drinks in hand. The four of you continued to stare before Lizzie squealed out, “I. Knew it!! I knew they were fucking Foggy. 25 bucks, right now.” You blinked at her, “you bet on us? How’d you know?” “We share a wall. I could hear buzzing and a particular name being mentioned more than a few times.” You blushed, tucking away into Matt’s arms as he chuckled. “Don’t laugh. I’m sure Foggy hears you sometimes…right Fog?” Foggy and Matt laughed loudly. “Puh-lease. I snore so loud, a bomb could go off and I’d still be asleep.”

Sooooo. Should I write some more for this or noooo???

[p-artsypants]

Paint it Black (19) Defaulting

Ao3 | FF.net

Everyone, Bruce included, had expected Robin to continue to improve after the antidote was administered. No one thought he’d be right back up and ready to go, but they hoped there would be an improvement. 

Instead, there was a sharp decline. 

Within a few days, Robin went from optimistic about his new future, to nearly bedridden and quiet.

“Robin?” Starfire checked on him for the fourth time that day, hoping this time he’d get up and eat dinner with them. 

“Star…” he croaked. 

She sat at his bedside and pet his hair. “Are you the same or worse from earlier today?” 

“Worse,” he cringed. “It’s like my blood is on fire.” 

“I am to ask if you have a headache or weakness.” 

“Yes, both. And nausea. Could you bring me some water?” 

“Absolutely,” she leaned in and kissed his forehead. 

“Sorry, I was looking forward to spending time with you.” 

“Your apologies are not necessary. You are still recovering, and we have plenty of time to catch up.” 

Robin closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. “I suppose you’re right.” 

“I shall return momentarily with your water.” She patted his leg and returned to the common room. 

“So?” Batman asked, immediately. 

“It is as you have said. He appeared to be sweating quite fiercely, though he has several layers of blankets on. And he said he has a headache and muscle weakness, as well as nausea.” 

“I could pretty confidently diagnose him with opioid withdrawal,” Bruce frowned. “It’s not surprising since he’s been taking some everyday for a few months. You can’t quit that crap cold turkey.” 

“Is poultry also addictive?” Starfire asked. 

“It means quitting without weaning off. I can get about a month’s supply of medical fentanyl from some contacts at the local Wayne Tech branch. Robin’s not going to like having to take it, but if we time it right, we should be able to wean him off gradually. Then he won’t need it.” 

“That is an excellent plan! I shall be the one to explain it to him. He should accept it better from me.” 

“That’s what I thought too.” 

—

Beast Boy couldn’t sleep. He was tired, yes, but there was a tingling in the back of his head he couldn’t ignore. A feeling or an instinct that something was wrong. It had to be his animalistic sense. Then again, that little alarm had gone off a few times since Batman and Alfred came to visit. They were both up and about at night and made just enough noise that his advanced hearing could pick it up, even in sleep. 

But that instinct had settled down in the last week, finally getting used to their scents and sounds. 

But this was different. Something new, but somehow familiar. 

Would it hurt to check? If the coast was clear, he could very well pass it off as an effect of the upcoming full moon and go back to sleep. 

He got out of bed and moved into the hall, careful to be quiet and not awake the others. No reason to bother them over nothing. 

Last thing he needed was Raven making fun of him for literally crying wolf. 

His floor was clear, and was the floor below, where the gym was. But the floor after that, where Cyborg’s room was, was where the feeling intensified. 

Beast Boy morphed into a dog to sniff around in the dark. Something smelled like BO and pizza grease, but not like his room. 

As he rounded the corner, he was suddenly engulfed by a glowing orange orb, suspending him off the ground. He quickly morphed into a gorilla, and then attempted an elephant, but couldn’t actually become big enough. The material of the orb was solid. 

“What’d I tell ya?” Gizmo smirked, while holding a strange looking weapon, presumably what shot the orb. “Green Bean would smell your toe jam and pull the alarm on us.” 

“Fine, remind me to pay up when we’re done,” said Mammoth. 

“The Hive?! What—? How?!” Beast Boy yelled, but his voice was severely muted in his prison. 

Gizmo, Mammoth, See-More, Kyd Wykkyd, and Private Hive were all just casually standing in the hall, like they owned the place. 

“I promised to behave the first time I came to visit,” said Gizmo. “I didn’t make any promises the second time. Tin Man might be busy in the upcoming weeks writing some new passcodes…since I stole them all.” 

Beast Boy banged his fists on his cage. It felt like electrified jelly, and absorbed every hit he gave it. 

Gizmo then turned to his team, laser focused. “Alright, Raven’s going to be our next problem. She might be able to sense auras or souls or whatever, so we need to get her next. Kyd Wykkyd, you have that binding spell?” 

He nodded. 

“Good. Get her to the Ops room on the top floor, and we’ll get her bubbled.” 

Again, he nodded, and phased through the floor. 

“Mammoth, you’ve got Starfire. Mad Mod was able to hold her for a while with these Xenothium cuffs. Bring her upstairs when you’ve got her.” 

He cracked his knuckles. “I’m on it.” 

“See-More, you’re going to take Barf Boy up to the ops room while I take care of Cyborg.” He held up a flash drive. “This code will give us control over him until his battery drains.” 

See-More engulfed the already trapped Beast Boy in his beams. 

“Private, you’re responsible for crazy Robin.” 

“What do I capture him with, sir?” 

Gizmo shrugged. “If you can lure him up to us, I’ll bubble him, but he’s mostly not going to be a problem. He’s totally banana pants loony.” 

Beast Boy bit his lip. Robin was back, but as of bedtime, he was still resting in his room. No doubt, they’d find out soon enough. 

But, even at a quarter of his strength, surely Robin could defeat Private Hive…right? 

And if Robin couldn’t handle them, there was always Plan B. 

Batman. 

That is, assuming they didn’t get the drop on him as well. 

At the moment, Beast Boy didn’t really have any options except to wait and watch and wish he had been smart enough to grab his communicator when he went to investigate. 

He should really think about gluing that thing to his hand or something. 

See-More brought him up to the ops room, and released the ball to float about a foot off the ground. No running or pushing would move it. 

“Cool place. Never seen it from the inside,” he wandered around the still darkened room to find a light and helped himself to some snacks. 

“What are you creeps planning?” Beast Boy asked, nostrils flaring. 

See-More scoffed. “Like you could begin to understand.” 

Only a moment later, the Ops room door opened and Gizmo entered with Cyborg in tow. Cyborg’s steps were more robotic and clunky, and his human eye was closed in sleep. 

“Cy! Hey Cy! Wake up man!” 

“Don’t bother, Barf Brains. He’s trapped in his sleep cycle. As far as he knows, he’s dreaming of his stupid car and eating disgusting food.” 

A black portal opened from the ceiling before Raven fell, bound by the wrists and ankles with a white aura to the floor. The white aura also appeared as a mask over her nose and lips. Kyd Wykkyd appeared, giving Gizmo a thumbs up. 

“That’s three down,” Gizmo smirked as he shot his containment orb at Raven. “Just waiting on the alien…and technically crazy Robin, but I’m not worried about him.”

Raven, just wearing her leotard, rolled around to sit up and look at Beast Boy. 

“Yeah, they got me first. Are you okay? Can you breathe?”

She nodded. 

“Gizmo hacked Cyborg somehow, and has him under control. Let’s hope Starfire’s a light sleeper.” 

Raven gestured her head, silently asking about the others in the tower. 

“Not a clue. I’m calling it Plan B. If you know what I mean.” 

She rolled her eyes, but ultimately nodded in understanding. 

Then there came a boom from somewhere below, shaking the tower. 

“And…that would be Star,” Beast Boy smirked. 

“Kyd Wykkyd, See-More, go back him up,” Gizmo demanded, throwing See-More the strange gun. “I’ll watch these bozos. Not that they’re going anywhere.” 

“This is going to hurt, isn’t it?” See-More asked as they left. 

“I’ll ask again,” Beast Boy snarled. “What are you creeps up to?” 

“Nunya business, Butts for Brains.” 

“I think it is our business, considering you broke into our house!” 

“Big talk from you dweebs. I hear someone in this tower is actually a thief. Some heroes you are.” 

Beast Boy didn’t have an answer for that. He simply looked over to Raven again.  

She shrugged back. 

“Thief of what?” 

“Not sayin’, just something that doesn’t belong to you.” 

Beast Boy remembered the strange white doll again, though he couldn’t believe that was what Gizmo was talking about. 

After all, that wasn’t stolen, it was abandoned. 

Or maybe not. 

“Sir, Gizmo, Sir!” Private Hive arrived, a body clad in plaid pajamas over his shoulder. “There was no one in Robin’s designated room, but I found this old man in the room next door.” 

“Unhand me, you brute!” Alfred shouted from his awkward position. 

Beast Boy gasped and shouted, “Let go of our grandpa!” 

“Your grandpa?” Gizmo smirked. “I would have thought that any family of yours would also be green.” 

As Private Hive brought Alfred over to where Raven and Beast Boy were being held, Gizmo looted through the drawers in the kitchen until he found a roll of duct tape. “Here. Tie him up with this. Doubt the old man is any kind of threat.” 

Private Hive taped his wrists and ankles and left him on the floor between Raven and Beast Boy. 

“You okay, Alfred?” 

“I’m mostly fine. A little more bruised than I would like.”  

“They’re trying to catch Starfire right now. No sign of Robin, it sounds like.” 

“Miss Starfire is quite strong. They have their work cut out for them.” 

They waited more time in silence, anxiously waiting for any sign of a battle, while Gizmo impatiently rooted around the ops room. 

Maybe ten minutes later, the other Hive members returned with Starfire bubbled. Mammoth was bleeding from the nose and a cut above his eye. Starfire wore a tank top and shorts, though one strap on her tank was ripped. She was dazed and sprawled out in the bubble as they plopped her down by Beast Boy. 

“Star?” He asked, concerned. 

She clenched her eyes shut a few times, trying to focus. “Beast…Boy…?” 

“You’re okay. They’ve got us captured in these bubbles. Raven’s gagged and they infected Cyborg with a virus, so he’s out of commission. And they found Alfred.” 

Starfire just laid on her stomach, and pounded a cuffed fist against the orange surface. “I should have fought harder.” 

“Please, Miss Starfire, don’t be so hard on yourself. This was a surprise attack.”

“And I went easy on ya,” Mammoth mocked, wiping his face with a dish towel. “Next time, you won’t be getting up.” 

Starfire leapt to her feet and began wailing on the orb. Her attacks made the bubble shake violently, but it didn’t break. “THUS VAR Y’KEEM!” She shouted in her native tongue. 

“Ohh I’m so scared.” Mammoth rolled his eyes. “What’s next, Pipsqueak?” 

Gizmo gave him an annoyed look, but ignored the nickname. “We find the target. We have 24 hours before these bubbles wear down. I wanna be long gone before then. Crazy Robin is in the tower somewhere, but we outnumber, outpower, and out-sanity him. Call for backup if you see him.” 

Mammoth stuck a finger in his ear. “What are we looking for again? Some weird doll?”

Gizmo scoffed. “Nice work, Fart Face. Whatever. Yeah, all white doll, made of cloth.” 

Beast Boy let out a squeak that was muted by the prison. 

“Alright, spread out!” 

Kyd Wykkyd disappeared through the floor, but before the others could leave, the lights went out. The Hive members went still. 

“He’s here,” said Gizmo, converting his backpack into its spider form. “Get ready for something weird and stupid.” 

Instead, the main doors opened, and a cloud of smoke rolled in, making them all cough and choke. 

“What the—?” Gizmo exclaimed, but before he could finish, a grapple line wrapped around him and yanked him off his feet. 

A Batarang cut through the air and hit See-More right in the eye, making him fall to his knees and cry out in pain. 

Private Hive took out his shield and ran into the smoke, ready to fight. 

While the sounds of Private Hive getting the crap beaten out of him filled the silence, Mammoth ran at Alfred, swept him off the ground and put him into a painful headlock. “Give up now, or I snap the old man like a twig!” 

Private Hive gave a final ‘oof!’ as the wind was knocked out of him. 

Mammoth squeezed, and Alfred let out a painful gasp. 

There was silence, and then Batman flourished his cape and cleared the smoke. He stood in the doorway, watching intensely. 

“One more move, and Grandpa’s toast.”  

Batman noticed the bead of sweat that traveled down Mammoth’s forehead, but more importantly, the color draining from Alfred’s face. 

It just wasn’t a risk he was willing to take. 

Batman sighed and put his hands up. 

“Stand over by the others.” 

Batman did as directed, never showing what he was thinking. 

With Alfred still in a headlock, Mammoth recovered the bubble gun from the floor, and shot Batman. Then he dropped Alfred harshly on the ground. “You came in handy, gramps.” 

Alfred coughed and choked. “I hope you rot, you thug.” 

Mammoth kicked him once before going over to Gizmo and attempting to untangle him. 

Private Hive got his wind back and pathetically barked. “You never said Batman was involved! I never signed up to deal with Batman!” 

“Aw shut up, I didn’t know he was in town.” Gizmo finished untangling himself and dusted his arms off. “See-More, you good?”

The teen in question just sniveled, presumably not ‘good’. 

“Fine. Mammoth, Private, join Wykydd in the search. I’ll look in here and keep an eye on the hostages and See-More. You all have your radios?”

“Hostages?” Beast Boy barked. 

“Oh, did I offend you? What would you prefer? Prisoners? Captives? Losers?” 

 As the team split up, Batman opened the computer on his gauntlet. “Alright, what do you know?” 

“Oh, um…Gizmo’s kind of a returning pain in the neck. We actually…recruited him to help on the case. He’s the one that recovered the files from the SD card from Robin. Sounds like he hacked our system the last time he was here.” 

“Hm.” 

“Mammoth let it slip that they’re looking for some white doll that was allegedly stolen.” He shouted over to where Gizmo was. “Even though we don’t steal!” 

“Not according to our sources!” Gizmo chirped back. 

“And who are these sources?” Batman demanded. 

“Not telling, Bat Barf!” 

“Charming child, isn’t he?” Alfred quipped. 

Batman scanned the bubble prison, trying to find a weakness. “These cages are made out of an electrified aerogel, composed of silicon and amber. We could dissolve it if we had turpentine and toluene.” 

“Oh good. I assume you have those in your utility belt?” Alfred asked, sarcastically. 

“Gizmo said they’ll weaken in 24 hours. So we won’t die here at least…” 

“And no one has mentioned Robin?”

“Private Hive said he wasn’t in his room.” 

Batman shifted his jaw. “Then we might not be totally out of luck.”

“But he could not possibly take out the Hive on his own. He is far too weak right now!” Starfire protested. 

“He probably couldn’t win if they teamed up, but if he picked them off one by one…” 

Gizmo seemed to overhear that much from his spot across the room, and called out on his radio. “Keep on your toes for Robin. Don’t let him pick you off!” 

“I’m in his room right now, sir. Someone was here not too long ago.” 

Before Gizmo could respond, there was a long beep that was emitted from the ceiling. Then, music started playing, an acoustic guitar. 

“Intercom system activated.” Cyborg said, in an emotionless voice. 

“Intercom? Since when did we have an intercom?”   

When you were here before…couldn’t look you in the eye…

“Alright, who’s messing with the radio, huh?” Gizmo yelled into his com. 

You’re just like an angel…your skin makes me cry.

Beast Boy shuttered. “This is ‘Creep’ by Radiohead.” 

“Could that mean…?” Starfire whimpered. 

You float like a feather…in this beautiful world.

“That antidote didn’t work.” 

I wish I was special…yes so very special.

“Mayday! Mayday!” Private Hive’s panicked whisper over the com. “Crazy Robin spotted! He’s pissed! And I think he has a gun!” 

“Where are you?” Gizmo asked. 

“I’m in the trophy room. I’m hiding behind a corner.” 

“Why the heck are you hiding!? Get out there soldier! He doesn’t have superpowers! And don’t let his weird intimidation tactic get to you.” 

But I’m a creep…I’m a weirdo…what the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here…

There was silence on the other end for a while, before Private Hive came back on, screaming. “Help me! He’s going to kill me! Ahh! Make it stop!!” 

Mammoth responded. “Private, I’m coming to back you up!” 

Gizmo scoffed at the radio. “You can’t find good help these days. Maybe we’ll go with the Hive Four until Billy’s out of jail.” 

I don’t care if it hurts…I wanna have control…I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul.

“Did Private say he had a gun?” Beast Boy asked. “Where did he get a gun?”

“I hope he’s mistaken,” Batman sneered. “Or else this is going to get messy.” 

I want you to notice…when I’m not around…you’re so very special…

It was faint, because the tower walls were so insulated, but there was a definitive ‘pop pop’ somewhere in the tower. 

“Shit.” 

I wish I was special.

“Private! Status!” Gizmo shouted. 

There was no answer. 

“I’m closing in on his location,” said Mammoth. “There’s no one here but—-ough!” 

“I’m making the call, get out of there!” 

Mammoth’s radio must have fallen while being turned on, as the sounds from the room were clearly heard. Fists connecting, Mammoth’s cries of pain, and someone singing along with the radio. 

But I’m a creep…I’m a weirdo…what the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here.

“Hold…still…you little…!” 

“Uh oh! Sounds like someone’s full of regretti, upsetti, and spaghetti!” 

“You…crazy son of a…” 

“Hey! There will be no goddamn swearing!” 

She’s…running out the door.

There was another loud ‘pop pop’ before silence. 

“Kyd Wykkyd? You still out there?” Gizmo asked with palpable fear in his voice. 

“If you let us out of here, we might be able to call him off,” Batman offered. “We might be able to save your friends.” 

“Like I believe you!” 

She’s run…run…run…

Gizmo sank to his knees in the common room, as there was nothing but silence over the radio, and only a warning over the speakers. 

Run! Run!

“Screw this! I’m getting out of here! Sorry See-More!” And Gizmo booked it out of the room. 

Whatever makes you happy…whatever you want…you’re so very special…

No one knew what to say. Was this considered a win? At what cost? 

Batman hung his head, shaking it in disgust. 

I wish I was special.

Starfire sobbed. “Why didn’t it work?” 

“What?” Asked Beast Boy. 

“The antidote! It was supposed to cure him!” 

“I’d like to know too,” Batman growled. “Because either the antidote was faulty, or he got dosed with his poison somehow.” 

“But he hasn’t left the tower in days,” said Beast Boy. 

“So…who got in?” 

But I’m a creep…I’m a weirdo…what the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here…

The door to the ops room opened once again, and Black, wearing his ratty jeans and trench coat, stood in the doorway, gun in hand. “I don’t belong here!” He sang with the radio. “Sorry guys, looks like I made a widdle mess!” 

“Get us out of here, now!” Batman roared. 

“Damn, okay.” Black grumbled. “God forbid there’s any gratitude around here.” He left the room, and when he returned, he had Gizmo by the collar, his arms bound to his body by a grapple line. 

“Scuzz munching, brain barfing psycho.” 

“Turn off the orbs,” Black demanded. 

“I ain’t doing squat!” 

Black pointed his gun at his head. “I really think you ought to,” he sang.

“Okay okay!” Gizmo relented. “Jesus Christ.” 

Once he had a hand free, Gizmo simply tapped a button on his suit and the orbs popped. 

Beast Boy worked on setting Raven free from her binding spell while Batman picked the locks to Starfire’s cuffs. 

Once Raven was free, she disappeared into the floor, off in search of the injured villains. 

“You better fix Cy too!” Beast Boy shouted at Gizmo. 

“Ugh yeah yeah. Man, this is turning out to be a major failure.” 

While Starfire was free to help Alfred, Batman went to Black and held out his hand. “You really shouldn’t have that. Why don’t you give it to me?” 

Black screwed up his lips. “What if I need it?” 

“You don’t.” 

Cyborg let out a yawn and a stretch. “Good morn—hold up. Gizmo?” 

“The twerp hacked you, my man!” Beast Boy shouted.

“Several of our adversaries intruded upon our home,” Starfire elaborated. 

“Aww man…and I slept through all that? And now I bet I have to reset all the codes, huh?” 

Gizmo shrugged. “Don’t know. Don’t care. I’m all done. You gonna take me to the police or what?” 

Batman begrudgingly allowed Black to keep the weapon, for now, and approached Gizmo. “We’ll take a little ride in the Batmobile in a minute, but first, I want a word.” He grabbed Gizmo by the shirt and dragged him out of the room. 

“I can walk you know!” 

Soon after, Raven returned. “I couldn’t find Kyd Wykkyd. Private Hive is stable, but injured. Mammoth was in the worst condition, but if he gets to a hospital soon, he’ll survive.” 

The group collectively looked at Black. 

“Uh, you’re welcome?!” He sassed. 

Mostly, they were just wondering how he was here and not Robin, but no one was sure how to ask the question. Black wasn’t supposed to know that they tried to get rid of him. 

Distantly, the group could hear Gizmo screaming as he fell off the tower, but no one minded much. 

“What did those knuckleheads break in here for?” Cyborg asked, playing catch up. 

“It’s the D-O-L-L again,” said Beast Boy. “I think that’s why Batman is interrogating Gizmo.” 

See-More still laid on the floor, in pain due to his broken eye. He spoke up, sniveling. “Joker offered a position as his apprentice if someone brought that thing to him.” He worked on taking his helmet off. “Jynx and I had weird vibes about the situation. It's one thing to be a big time villain, but that guy is not stable.” 

“So why did you join the mission?” Raven asked, kneeling to look at his eye. 

“Curiosity. I wasn’t going to accept the position, but I thought it’d be a good experience.” 

“Yeah, I bet ‘I ran a job for the Joker’ looks great on a villain resumé,” Beast Boy chuckled. 

“You joke, but we literally had lessons on it from the guidance counselor at the Hive Academy.” 

“That’s wild.” 

“As it is, I doubt I’ll be doing anything evil for a while, if I haven’t gone blind from this.”

“Well, make sure you make an appointment with your evil optometrist, and you’ll probably be fine,” Raven concluded her exam. “As it stands, we’ll probably need a few ambulances.” 

“My question still stands,” said Beast Boy, walking up to Black. “Where did you get the gun?” 

He tucked it away in his waistband. “I’ve had it the whole time.” 

“Bull shit!” 

“I’m serious. If you go back, it’s mentioned in chapter 6.” 

“What are you talking about?!” Beast Boy became frustrated. “You almost killed people today! Robin never used guns, and knew exactly where to hit people to knock them out without killing them. You—…” He shook his head and walked over to the couch. “I thought this was over.” 

“Wow,” said Black. “You all are nothing but a bunch of ungrateful brats. Here I thought I’d get a bunch of ‘atta boy’s for rescuing all of you. But nnnoooOOOOoooOoooo. You’re all like ‘people could have died’ and ‘I’m scared for my own life because you have a gun and you’re crazy’.” 

Frightening how no one had said the second part aloud. 

“Black,” Starfire began, resting her hands on his shoulders. “We are grateful that you saved us. We knew you could do it, and knew you were our only chance. We’re just…concerned about your methods.” 

Black looked at Starfire, tilting his head to the side. He glanced away, furrowing his brows, like he was listening to something. 

Then he backed away from her. “Glad to know one person is grateful.” 

A moment later, Batman returned with a pale and shaking Gizmo. “I have a location.” 

“Good,” stated Cyborg, from the computer. “Where are we headed?”

“Tomorrow night,” Batman clarified. “They have a meeting. I’m going to be there instead. The rest of you are going to watch Black.” 

“Uh…tomorrow is Halloween,” Beast Boy piped up. “With all the kids trick or treating, Robin likes to have us all on patrol.”

Black perked up.

“Right,” Batman sighed, forgetting the date. 

“Sir, could we not put him in the containment unit for the night? I would be more than capable to look after him.” 

“That will have to work. In the meantime, we should clean this mess up.” 

—-

After all of that, Beast Boy returned to his room, totally pooped. He hadn’t even done any fighting, but the adrenaline of it all kept him wired. 

But as soon as he laid down, he got a whiff of an unfamiliar smell. He morphed into a bloodhound and started sniffing around. Someone had been in his room. 

When it all clicked, he transformed back into a boy and ran to tell the others. 

The doll was gone.

[rathockey]

one year on t!

today is the anniversary of when i started T so i kinda wanted to make a post about what thats been like for me!

under a readmore so if you don't want to read a wall of text about testosterone you don't have to aslkdfjalksd

i'll reblog this post to add pictures of me from the past year

also if you have any questions related to my experience on T, my askbox is open and i do have anon on. :)

so i decided to do the gel instead of the shot because i had needle issues. i don't think i really do anymore though, because for the first year of care, they have you go every three months to get your hemoglobin and t levels checked and they draw blood for that. but i am still sticking with the gel because there's a lower risk of blood clots(APPARENTLY - this was told to me by a nurse PLEASE double check this with your doctor and confirm if thats a concern for you), and since i'm on a hormonal birth control, i want to do everything i can to keep that risk low!

I also started on a half dose bc I was a liiiiittle nervous about it, and went up to the full dose after 6 months.

so. pros and cons of t gel:

pros: no needles (also makes for easier disposal), lower risk of blood clots (again, feel free to fact check me on this)

cons: its daily, i've had issues with acne on my shoulders, can't wear tank tops

overall i think its the best option for me right now, though i might change my mind in the future!

changes so far:

voice - my voice has gotten deeper and is starting to crack. my voice no longer gives me away if someone genders me correctly before i start talking

hair - toe hair, leg hair, arm hair, ass hair. no facial hair. a liiiittle bit of tummy hair

libido/horniness - i had a pretty low sex drive before starting t bc my bc kinda killed any semblance of one i had before aldksfjalkds so im not 100% more horny all the time, it kind of comes in waves. but i am WAY more horny and interested in sex than i was before

bottom growth - this was the thing that concerned me THE MOST before i started. i did NOT want bottom growth, i liked my bits where they were. but honestly its not bad at all. i didn't even notice it was happening. i think its leveled off for now which is good, i'm chill with where its at, but if it does start growing again, we'll see how i feel about it aksdjfklads i've seen some people have INSANE bottom growth. also. if you're thinking about getting on T. bottom growth is one of the FIRST things to happen. so you gotta be chill with it aldskfjalksd

muscle mass/fat distribution - i really haven't noticed too much change in this department yet. i don't really have any fat on me (just a little on my hips and some on my thighs) so that could be why I haven't noticed much change? and i'm not currently going to the gym so idk in terms of muscle mass.

ultimately I'm very happy with where i am in my transition and i can't wait to see what the next year brings! (facial hair maybe? we can only hope)

[limoposeedor]

obsessed

Being a ghost is not an easy task, it is very boring and even more so seeing people live what one cannot live. I was a simple teenager who liked to study, I hardly left the house and the truth is that after a while I realized that I was very ugly In my physical appearance, but through the window I always saw him go by.

A guy who always passed by on my street on his way to the gym always made me stop feeling bad. I felt that he motivated me.

That same afternoon I went out to change my life and exercise but to my bad or good luck I was run over and died but apparently the person who ran over me turned out to be some kind of shaman who, seeing what he did, asked me "if I wanted to have fun" I told him Yes, I don't know why, but now I'm happy with my decision, because at that moment I started to float, I was a ghost, the shaman started driving and told me

"Go and have fun" I already knew what I wanted and I went to the gym to see my idol exercise, I was so happy I looked at him while he took a picture how handsome ..

I got closer to him to see if I could admire his physique more closely but I didn't expect that he could trip me like ghosts, I admit that it is the trip that I thank God the most for giving me. Because when I regained my balance, he was gone, I looked at myself and smiled, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, there I could see myself, it was him, I looked at his wallet and for the first time I could find out his name or my new name.

I changed my clothes and admired my new body

She had a perfect back and the best of all was her bulge between her legs, thanks Gerardo for motivating me to be you.

I look at Gerardo's cell phone, I unlock it with a fingerprint, I wish I had his memories, but I'm happy with what I already have, I look and see that I'm invited to go to the beach...mm, what should I do? Go to the beach or try to find out about it. his family...

At the end of the information I decided to go there maybe with me and by the way they told me that they would take me to my perfect house for me. No one noticed the change in Gerardo's personality and who would blame them, literally, I'm behaving like him, the only difference is that I'm less talkative but I'll correct that later.

It's been months since I've lived like Gerardo, his mom is the best, mine just told me if I didn't study, he'd throw me out of the house. Today I went to school and I smiled when I saw my face thanks to that I stole many glances. The good thing is that they thought that I smile at them.

I adore this body, apart from being cute and handsome, he is very muscular. Today I was invited to a Halloween party, get ready, here I am.

[puffpasstea]

A/N: I can’t sleep so here’s part 1 of 2 of this request. Please let me know what you think! This is the first one shot I’m writing in, like, a month and a half. So I’m a bit rusty. Feedback would be very much appreciated. warnings: smalllllll mention of smut kinda. ———

I sat in bed with my legs crossed watching as Harry went around the room, packing up his gym and work bags, getting ready for his day. I had the day off, thankfully, but I’d woken up feeling sad and vulnerable for reasons I couldn’t quite put into words. I wished he’d notice, wished he weren’t leaving, wished he’d give me a hug and tell me everything would be okay anyway. 

He walked over to the nightstand grabbing  his wallet and keys, stuffing them into the pockets of his jeans. “Alright,” he mumbled, “think that’s all.” He glanced down at his hands to make sure  that all his rings were on. “I’m off, then. Unless you need anything before I go?” 

His question made a weak smile appear on my face. He’d developed a habit of asking me that same question any time that he left the house. Usually, if I wanted him to pick up dinner, or if I’d planned on being gone for the day, or needed to remind him of something, that’s when I’d chime in, but none of those things were happening today. What I needed today was different. I just needed him. I wasn’t gonna be needy though. I’d never ask him to drop everything and spend the day with me. Especially not when I didn’t necessarily know why I was feeling so low. 

I simply shook my head. “All good.”

“Alright then.” He gave me a quick kiss on my lips, his skin brushing against mine as he dashed away. “See ya tonight! Love you.” He disappeared out the door. 

——

“Here you go” I handed Harry a mug of tea, setting mine down on the coffee table and picking up the book I was reading. 

“Thanks babe,” Harry looked away from his laptop for a moment, flashing me a quick smile and accepting the warm beverage.

I stood there for a moment, admiring how beautiful and warm he looked. 

“You good?” His eyebrow shot up as he studied my face. I must have stared a little too long.

I scooted closer to him on the couch, pausing for a moment, wanting to get lay my head on his chest, but not quite knowing if he was in the mood, or if he’d prefer to be left alone with whatever work he was doing on his device. 

“Everythin’ alright?” He repeated. “Why are you looking at me like that….somethin’ on my shirt?” 

“No, no. It’s…nothing.” I decided I didn’t feel brave enough to attempt anything right now, so I redirected my attention to my book, doing my best to ignore the disappointment and embarrassment I was feeling. 

Seconds later, Harry reached out his arm, wrapping it around my waist and pulling me into his side. He adjusted the laptop on his knees so he could still see the screen while resting his head on mine. He could tell. I felt a little silly, but mostly grateful, that he could read me so well. I looked up at him through my lashes, placing a quick kiss to his cheek. He blushed faintly, a chuckle rumbling in his chest. I delighted in the sweet sound of his voice. 

—

Harry pulled away from this kiss, leaving me breathless and whiny. I’d waited all day for his touch. Within moments of him walking through the door, I was a mess. 

“On the bed.” He commanded. “Face down, ass up, c’mon.”

I knew what this meant. He wanted to go quick. He was in the mood to be rough. Which, ordinarily, would be my preference. Especially when he’d been gone a while, or whenever I knew that he’d had a long, difficult day. The submissive in me always relished the opportunity to be of use to him. To provide him with some stress relief or be of service. Plus, it was much easier for me to be turned on by quick and rough sex. Not tonight though. Tonight, I was craving his touch. I wanted him to go slow, really take his time. I’d spent the day daydreaming about his fingers tracing patterns over my skin, his soft lips slightly wet and puffy from biting on them, the scent of his cologne, the way he throws his head back in pleasure when he cums. I wanted him to hold my hand as he thrusted into me. I wanted to see the look in his eyes when it happened. 

Hey, what’s the matter?” His face softened when it took me a minute to follow his orders. 

“Hmm?”

“You seem….uncomfortable, everything alright?” I wasn’t sure how to answer that. Yes I was uncomfortable but yes everything was alright. 

“Yeah- uh, I’m okay.” I shuffled to my feet to get on the bed and do as he said. 

“Hold on,” his hand on my waist stopped me. “Are you sure you wanna do this? Cuz, we can stop if you want to.” His smile soft despite the fact that he was clearly nervous. 

I- uh, no. We don’t have to stop, I could just-“

“We’re stopping.” He stated. 

“But, Harry-“

“What you’re color?”

“Har-“

“Color, Matilda!”

“Yelow?”

“You actually mean red. I can see it in your eyes. We’re stopping.”

“No- we could just take a break-“

“Hey, listen, if you’re not into it, I’m not into it. End of discussion.” He stood up, looking around the room for his discarded shirt. 

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I’m just-“

“Hey, Alice,listen to me,” he paused, walking over to my side of the room and towering over me, his gaze intensely fixing me in place. “never apologize for not wanting sex. You hear me? Never.”

Speechless, I simply nodded. 

His face softened; he closed the space between us, holding my face in his hands and kissing me slow. “We can just do something else, if y’want.”

“Y-yeah. I’d like that.”

Despite his assurance, I felt guilt bubble in my chest. 

———

“Matilda?”

“Hmm?” 

“I wanna talk to you about something.” Harry announced, watching my reaction carefully in the bathroom mirror. “But, uh, please don’t take this the wrong way…” he looked down at the array of skin products on his side of the bathroom counter, and selected a few. 

 “Harry, you’re scaring me.” I put down my toothbrush and awaited his next words. 

“It’s nothing scary! I’ve just noticed- how do I put this delicately? Uhh, well, babe, you never really speak up about stuff.”

“Excuse me?”

“Like you never tell me what you need.”

“You sound just like my therapist.” I rolled my eyes, attempting to deflect with a laugh that u was trying way too hard to make sound playful.

Harry, on the other hand, didn’t crack a smile. 

“‘S somethin’ I’ve noticed.”

“Wha-what’s your point, Harry?” I looked down at the floor, mindlessly fiddling with the bracelet on my wrist in a nervous motion. 

“When you’re sick, or in pain, you don’t say anything. Just suffer in silence. Until I put two and two together and ask you about it. In an argument, you shut me out when you’re upset. You’d rather storm out of the house than talk about it….if  you wanna cuddle, or something, you never ask.”

I felt embarrassed and betrayed. Like he had given away a personal secret of mine. Like I was on some sort of trial and he was reading off the list of my offenses. “And- what? You’re saying that bothers you?”

“I’m just trying to understand why…”

I shrugged, feeling heat rise to my cheeks. 

“Do I not let you speak?” He offered a suggested explanation. His suggestion made my heart break inside my chest.

“What?! N-no! You do. Of course you do!”

The urgency in my voice seemed to reassure him. He sighed. “Cuz…I never want you to feel like I won’t listen.”

“It’s not that, Harry. I promise. It’s just…” I didn’t know how to finish that sentence. I wasn’t sure I had a reason. 

Harry reached out his arms, extending a hand for me to take and pulled me over to him, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me so our bodies were glued together. He rested his forehead on mine for a moment, before kissing me. “Talk to me, baby.”

“It’s not that you don’t give me the space to talk, it’s that I don’t know how to use it whenever you do.” My voice was thin and shaky, I laid my head against his chest as he leaned against the bathroom sink.

Harry was quiet for a long moment, simply taking in my confession. 

“You’ve never done this before, have you? The serious relationship thing.”  he announced, as if making a discovery. 

I shook my head, once again feeling embarrassed and small against his overwhelming openness. Even though I didn’t have the exact words or the courage to say it out loud, the truth was, no one had ever bothered to ask me what I needed before. It simply never occurred to me that it’s something he’d actually want to know. Nor did I know how to express it.

“But, baby I worry about you.” He admitted. “I worry that if I miss something, you just won’t tell me, and you’ll keep it inside and let it hurt you. Don’t want you to feel alone. Not when I’m right here.”

It hadn’t occurred to me that my reticence had been causing him to worry. It’s like my not wanting to be a burden was itself a burden. 

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled. 

He walked us over to the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed and gesturing for me to join him. 

“I want to help. How can I help? Somethin’ I can do to make you more comfortable? Doesn’t have to be talkin.’ We could….come with with some sort of system. Like cards maybe? Or, like send me texts if that’s easier than saying things out loud? Or we could-“

“Slow down, Harry. Please!” I could tell that this was important to him, and that he was making a genuine effort to be supportive with what limited information I was willing to give up. The least I could do is meet him halfway. So, with a shaking, broken voice, I mustered all the courage I had. “D-do you…do you remember, the other day, when- umm…when we were gonna have sex? You know, after you came home from work, and- uhh. You know. But then we stopped? C-cuz I wasn’t feeling it?”

“Mhm.” He nodded, his eyebrows knitted together, his lips tight. 

“I- umm- I actually did want to have sex. I, just— I just kind of wanted us to go slow and s-sof-t instead. I, I know- I know I don’t usually want that sort of thing. And, I- guess I was scared you’d say no.” I felt tears sting the backs of my eyes, cutting my voice off. I shrugged. “I don’t know that what I’m saying helps anything, but…”

“N-no, it helps! Really. Thank- thanks for telling me.”  It was obvious Harry didn’t know what to make of what I’d said, but he was determined to keep encouraging me. I felt touched by his earnestness. 

After a moment of thinking, he spoke again. “So… what I’m hearing is that you’re scared of how I might respond if you do speak up. Is that correct?”

I nodded but soon realized how bad that sounded. “It’s not that you’ve ever given me reason to  be scared. Cuz you haven’t. Ever! Really! I need you to believe that, okay? Please!”

“Hey, it’s okay. I believe you.” He placed an arm over my shoulder, squeezing it gently. “I’m not taking this personally, I promise.” He kissed my cheek chastely. 

“Thank you for not taking it personally.” Tears began to pool in my eyes, I pretending not to notice them spilling over my waterline. 

“How about this? I’ll make more of an explicit effort to be reassuring.” Harry spoke, courteously looking away as I wiped my tears and saving me the indignity of crying as he watched. “I’ll remind you more often that you don’t have to worry about my reaction to your needs. I promise to always respect how you feel.”

“Harry, I don’t know what to say. You’re ama-“

“Oh, but I’m not done! You have to do something too.”

“What’s that?”

“You have to try to speak up too. If you’re scared, just tell me you’re scared and we can take it from there. Okay? Promise me you’ll try?”

“Promise.”

“Good. We’ll give it a shot for a bit, and see how things go?”

[chickenhawke]

knee update! nearly 4 weeks post-op

i've got a new brace (feel like a cyborg). my leg is no longer ourple. swelling is down except for a little around the knee itself & i (finally) start physio tomorrow!

went to the gym today for the first time in like a month too and i finally feel normal 😩💪

[otter1962crystalball]

Face It or Not: Out of the Pan into the Fire

June 25th, 2024 

Happy 25th day of Pride Month! Wow! The month of June is almost already behind us. Today, I was thinking about the end of things and what happens when I don’t deal with it.

Soon after my divorce, a man whom I had had contact with found out that I was divorced. I call him Allan. He never really liked John and we had stopped talking because John pissed him off. It turned out that John had asked Allan if he could move in with him - while still married to me. I found this out when Allan contacted me and told me how sorry I was to have gone through that nightmare with John.

The situation led me to taking a vacation to Las Vegas to hang out with Allan. We really clicked and I went home feeling like the divorce had never happened. Allan then booked a flight to visit me and we started a relationship. I felt like I was on cloud nine and that all the darkness of the John relationship was gone.

Then, in September 2017, I was on a machine at the local gym and it collapses on my leg and tore my right Achilles Tendon in half. I ended up driving (on a damaged leg) to the local clinic where I was told that it was torn and that I would need a cast. So, an ambulance was called and I was driven to downtown Halifax where I had a cast put on - very late at night. During that time, I had texted Allan and then my phone died. I ended up getting a message from him via the ward’s nurse. I felt so grateful that Allan would do that. He immediately flew to Halifax and looked after me for almost a month. He was there during the wait time and then the operation itself.

I was feeling very depressed about not being able to be mobile and Allan’s presence cheered me. He accompanied me to physiotherapy (which I was told took an entire year). I was to be in a boot for at least two months and have physiotherapy twice a week for a while and then one per week afterwards. For that month, Allan drove me everywhere, helped out with the house and we made things work.

In the past few blog entries, I talked about John’s red flags. With Allan, I felt there were none and this made me very happy - until one day something happened. Allan got upset because he felt that I didn’t appreciate his help. I told him that that wasn’t true and that I’d been in pain and hadn’t told him enough that I really appreciated him. I did, but he was still angry, so I asked if he needed a break and offered to get him a hotel room until his flight. He then literally accused me of trying to get rid of him. I assured him that wasn’t the case. He stayed for the rest of the month and then flew home.

The boot came off and I was able to go to work after two months off. It was a bit of an adjustment as I had to use a knee scooter to get around for a while. By Christmas, I was wearing the boot less. I flew to Las Vegas for Christmas and we had an amazing time. We continued back and forth for over two years. We took a trip to Hawaii together during a trip to Las Vegas, which was amazing as it was my first time. We later planned a trip to Thailand via Hawaii. It turned out to be a dream vacation for me despite a bit of a situation with my house. I had it rented out as an Airbnb and the cleaner quit while I was in Las Vegas before we left. I was really upset and wondered if I should fly back to solve the problem. Allan flew off the handle telling me that I wasn’t thinking about him at all. I apologized and things went on. Again, I ignored what was going on.

Later that year during a visit to Nova Scotia, we celebrated Hallowe’en together. While I was in the bathroom, Allan went through my phone and found a picture that I had sent to a friend in Australia. He got angry with me and said that I had betrayed his trust. I realized that I had made a mistake and I allowed him to go through my phone, computer and all my hard drives. He ended up deleting every picture of John that existed. I just let him do it. He also asked me to ditch any of my friends that might want to sleep with me. I followed his advice.

The next trip to Las Vegas was that Christmas in 2018. I took a lot of my family Christmas ornaments with me because he wanted to have a family tradition Christmas. It was a fun time including a birthday cake for me. He also had a surprise for me and announced a two day trip and that I was to guess where we were going.  The first idea came to me was Fort Lauderdale. Allan turned to me and told me that I was disgusting - the only reason I wanted to go there was to have sex with a friend there. I told him that wasn’t true, but he insisted that I ditch that friendship or else. I told him no problem and we flew to San Francisco for two nights. The first night we were there, in the hotel room Allan picked up his sunglasses, turned to me and yelled that I was toxic to him. He squeezed his hands so hard that he broke his sunglasses and cut his palms. I can remember his face as he gritted his teeth and tossed the glasses into the garbage. I was shocked, so I called the last two friends that I still had in my list and said goodbye. That seemed to be fine with Allan and we went on with the trip.

When we returned, it was close to New Years and we had tickets to see Celine Dion. It was an amazing concert. We took pictures of ourselves by the promotional billboard in the theatre. I flew back that New Years day. On Facebook, there was a now and then post. I placed a picture of me in 2008 and the one of me in front of the Celine Dion billboard. Allan didn’t answer his phone that evening. The next day I called him and he screamed at me that I had hurt him horribly. After I hang up, I discovered that he had changed his Facebook profile to a black picture with candles. I texted him to ask if we could talk and he texted back that he wanted nothing to do with me because I had been unfaithful for showing that picture to my friend and that I hadn’t gotten rid of all my friends.

There I was, just into 2019 and again I was single. I was mystified as to why Allan did this and actually thought of going to Las Vegas, but one of Allan’s friends told me know when I suggest it. That was the last time I heard from Allan until two months three months later when I received a package in the mail. The package had a note about how much I had hurt him and that if I wanted any of my stuff that I had left in his condo, I would have to pay back all the money for gifts, trips, etc or I wouldn’t get my stuff back. My eyes were opened and I realized what was happening. I took the package and burned it. I said goodbye to my things in his condo - including my family Christmas ornaments - which were important to me as memorabilia. I never heard from Allan again.

I never had time to process the break up because something else happened suddenly in my life - I was diagnosed with colon cancer. When we see the light and come to understand what we’ve been doing that is not genuine, it’s a breakthrough. In that time, I wasn’t being true to myself.  It took the cancer and chemo along with some internal work to help me see that. If you are interested, you can check out my cancer blog at https://www.tumblr.com/otter1962.

What I learned about myself helped me see that I hadn’t dealt with the divorce from John, jumped into a relationship too soon, discovered that Allan was a worse narcissist than John and that cancer was my wake up call.

For Pride, I am celebrating the trials we sometimes have to go through before we see the light. I came to understand that I had to take care of myself, love myself and do the work before I could even think about another relationship. I am also celebrating the idea that there is a big difference between being alone and lonely, which I’ve written about in a blog entry.

Carpe diem, everyone! Live your life genuinely as yourself and be happy with that. Don’t let others dictate how your life should be lived!

[schraubd]

Giving Myself an "Atta Boy"

  Confession time: I'm not much of an exerciser. I played rec sports as a kid, and while I enjoyed it, I was never serious about it. Same in college -- I enjoyed playing intramural floor hockey, but that was really about it. Once I graduated and the sort of automatic opportunities to play sports went away, I was never someone who wanted to join a pickup basketball game or anything like that. And things like running, or going to the gym? Forget about it. Always found them to be incredibly boring. But without consciously working out, being a professor is a pretty sedentary lifestyle. As a graduate student things were a little better just because I lived about a mile's walk from campus -- just the right amount to get some steps in without it being too much of a drain. But then the pandemic hit, and nobody saw the sun for a few years. That corresponding to me hitting my mid-30s was not a great combo. I tried a few things. We bought a "RingFit" for the Switch -- didn't really catch on. I tried doing sit-ups each morning or using a "stepper" machine, but they didn't really take. One problem is that I have recurrent knee and lower-leg problems, which meant that the shock even of jogging very quickly caused terrible pain. So it was in particularly really hard to do any cardio, which is what I really thought I needed but could never fully motivate myself to do in earnest. But this summer, my wife and I bought a recumbent bike. And I really like it. More importantly, I've stuck with it. I can get genuine cardio without destroying my knees, which is something that had always been my white whale. And after years of never getting past (extremely) sporadic exercise patterns, I've been able to commit to riding the bike almost every day. I'm not smashing any records or anything like that; my goals have been modest -- at first, just trying to go 10 miles in 40 minutes (the length of one Hell's Kitchen episode). More recently, I kicked that up to 11 miles in 40 minutes, and today, for the first time ever, I did 12 miles in 40 minutes. Again, nothing objectively impressive. But it was a big achievement for me, and so I'm very happy about it. One of my initial ambitions when I started using the bike admittedly was to lose some weight -- not so much for aesthetic reasons, and more that I have a whole closet full of perfectly good pre-pandemic suits that I'd love to fit back into rather than having to buy a new wardrobe. That hasn't really happened -- my weight has stayed remarkably stable, which is less of a disappointment than a source of profound confusion: I don't feel like I'm eating any differently, so it seems to defy physics that I have the same inputs, can add working out six days a week to my daily routine as outputs, and yet not have it have any effect on my body mass. Newton, hold my beer. But I've decided to stop thinking of it as "not losing weight" and start thinking of it as "a heroic holding-of-the-line against the ravages of middle-aged metabolism." But really, that's all of secondary concern. The fact is that after years of essentially not exercising at all, I have for the past several months been extremely diligent and reliable in exercising most evenings, and I feel really good about that. So I'm giving myself an "atta boy". What are you atta boying yourself for this year? via The Debate Link https://ift.tt/1D7lrca

[creaticare]

I have been tagged by @grayseyebrowscar for a WIP game, and I have too many WIP's to not make a separate post. Some of them haven't been touched in ages, but they are still WIP's. There are also themes of death, abuse, and self-harm at least in the titles, and maybe in the WIP sentences.

rules: share the first line (or two or more!) of every current wip you have (that you feel comfortable sharing) and tag some writer friends! feel free to add the titles of your documents if you see fit

AOT

Guardian Angel: "Sasha sat up and looked around at her surroundings, she was back at her house in the forest.*

Criminal Minds

Our Witches Heart: "Reid sat at his desk just spinning around, he had finished his paperwork a while ago and now he was just letting his head roam."

DC Comics/Young Justice

Fear Toxined Batfam: "It was a normal patrol when their comms crackled to life, Oracle's voice coming through into their ears."

Green Lantern Ring: "The battle was nearing its end, the Justice League was on its last leg stopping these aliens."

Our friends shouldn't meet ends: "Jason stood with a sword in his hands, at the ready, a playful smile on his face as Wally also fell into stance."

When I Find You: "Dick always found the prospect of soulmates intriguing, his parents seemed like they had a perfect unbreakable bond, so that means he should also have the perfect bond when he was older."

Fairy Tail

MCD one-shots Bxl: "The feeling of being burned from the inside out wasn't one that Bixslow would ever say he appreciated, especially as he felt blood dribble out of his mouth."

MCD one-shots Gjl: "The Guild Hall was buzzing with an uneasy energy under the normal rambunctiousness."

Our Souls Weave Through, Chp 3: "Another week had passed since they had first found themselves in these strange times."

Our Souls Weave Through, Abuse, Gjl: "Gajeel absolutely hated it here, he has only been a part of Phantom Lord for a month and he was miserable, best guild along with the ranks of Fairy Tail his ass."

Our Souls Weave Through, Bitey One-Shot: "Fairy Tail was pretty used to the biting habit Natsu seemed to have, most of them having grown up with him, and having seen him constantly doing it, or being a victim at one point or another."

Haikyuu:

Got a secret series, Can you Keep it: "After all the Ushijima Fiancé craziness had washed over, a fan chose to go back and rewatch the interview."

Swim, Spike, Receive: "Kageyama Tobio didn't always live in Miyagi, he actually used to live in Tokyo with his older brother."

My Life is your Tribute, Hunger Games Crossover: "The ten districts of Panem all used to be one unified country along with their Capital, until they rebelled, causing a war to spread."

Racing Royalty: "Empress sat upon the hood of her car as her Knight filled up the gas in preparation for the race."

Tsukishima's Shoulder, Finding our Footing: "He kept going through the cycles, kept going through these large cycles of doubt. The surgery date was creeping up on him and he was scared."

Creepy Crawly Crows: "The two teams on the court flinched back and the crowd went silent as the Military burst through the doors in the gym."

Figure Four, Finale: "The announcer cleared their throat to get the attention of the stadium, 'Everyone there is still one more performance for today.'"

Sewn Silence: "Bokuto's insecurities were knocking on the metaphorical door once again, he had the all locked away behind a wall of fake emotions."

Short & Tall: "Nishinoya picked up his pace as he tried to keep up with Tsukishima's freakishly long strides. This was one of the many reasons he was not a fan of tall people, they walk too damn fast."

TPN x Haikyuu: "Emma threw her head back as she felt the breeze pass by, she took a deep breath of her true freedom."

Buckle up, it's MHA time

(I have so many MHA fics, at least plans, I was hyperfixated on it for a long time.)

1-A childhood friends and soulmates: "Memories are a fickle thing, you cherish them when you're young, but they will slowly disappear as you grow. Those who you would hold so close to your heart, will suddenly disappear."

Bomb on Campus: "The bright numbers flashed over the campus as teachers were guiding students out of the buildings and through the gates."

Bonding Notes, Chp 3: "As Shoji makes his way into the dorm he digs into his pocket for his white cane."

Fuck, it's the Family: "When class 1-A walked into the classroom one fateful morning they were put on edge by the sinister smile on their teacher's face."

Gouged Clouds and Pittering Paws: "Aizawa was born with his Parental Mark set on his collarbone, a small black cat curled up, sleeping peacefully."

Interviews with the 3's: "The recording flickered on as they all sat around the common rooms of the dorm, Class 3-A and 3-B convened together."

Mutation Quirk Erasure: "Aizawa woke up and went to wake up his kids with a bad feeling in his gut, his brain telling him that something had happened."

Quirk Drawback Fics, Shoji: "The day had been slow, they all started off with Homeroom and then went through their classes until getting to hero training."

Separated for Safety, Chp 2: "Bakugo woke up, his vision slowly coming into focus, he stares at the bright white ceiling as he tries to remember what happened."

Splat the Colorful Hero: "Deku sat atop the roof that All Might had left him on, he sat on the edge with his legs dangling over."

Trauma and Friends: "The class had been getting closer, they were three fourths of the way through their first year at UA, but there were still some barriers between them."

Vanishers, Later in the fic: "Aizawa's head swiveled around to look at the door that had just been flung open, standing there was a panting Present Mic."

What Happened to Memories?: "Memories are a precious thing, but they always seem to just disappear."

When time turns back: "The class was scattered around the area as they fight villains in close and far quarters."

3 Pros, 1 Civilian: "Izuku Midoriya was an odd kid raised in odd ways, he has 4 parents that helped raise him but that's not what was weird about it."

3-A year: "Shoji quickly finished packing his bag, even though classes didn't start till tomorrow he wanted to make sure he had time to move back into the dorms, and get adjusted to his friends."

Deaf MHA: "Aizawa watched his students closely both in and out of class so at any moment he could see if there was anything wrong with them."

Pro Hero Wards, Chaos Fic: "Shoji sits in the common room with his stuff as the class slowly leaves for Christmas break, he was one of the few left waiting."

Shoji Retires: "He couldn't have even told them himself, they had to find out from the official Pro Hero news. Katsuki had run across the article that morning and sent it to the group chat of their old class."

Whumptober

Day 7: "She looks behind her quickly to check if the people are still following her, she doesn't see anyone, but she keeps running."

There are all of my Current and Old WIP's, I'm not gonna tag anyone, but it's open for anyone who wants to do it.

[what-if-nct]

let’s talk about men shall we- 👀

(the good ones, not the bad ones)

so i just heard one of nct’s upcoming songs love is a beauty and now i just wanna buy the album so i can listen to it on my cd player like ahhhhh

also why is 3d by jungkook so good i literally just left kpop for a while and i’m hearing GOOD music mhm yes i know i’m a shawol, but i haven’t been super active, i’m here mainly for the fanfictions 😭

interesting fact, but i still haven’t listened to hard yet. LITERALLY- it has been 3 months since its release and i haven’t even heard one second of it. i seen clips of the mv and people dancing, but i haven’t heard the actual song. i think i’m still in my fantasy and not yet ready to come back to reality. for obvious reasons, i wanna go back to 2012. i wanna be there for shinee’s peak. i wanna celebrate shinee’s 4th anniversary and brag about them being in london last year. it’s not fairrrrrrr why does time even exist, i want to be a teenager but i am but i don’t feel like a real teenager — probably i am but in the wrong time frame… i feel so sad 😭

enough being sad, i’m going to talk about hot men i like such as… stray kids. i have a story book, but i feel like i forgotten about them completely that i cannot make any more stories… can you give me a summary on each of the members by any chance? 👉🏾👈🏾

that’s it for now, in case my message gets even longer.

I'm really excited for 127s new album even though I'm still stuck in golden age times, it went by too quickly. But I just know it'll all be amazing. I haven't actually heard any solo Jungkook music on my own accord like I hear it on TikTok but like that's it. But I understand I haven't listened to hard either, I also can't really bring myself to listen to new shinee music, I can barely listen to old shinee music like title tracks are easier now but up and down? Electric heart? Quasimodo? And definitely not Stand By Me. I can't bring myself to do so I totally understand. I feel you, you just wish you were the age you are now back then. But you can at most pretend and in an alternative universe you were born a little earlier so you could experience it all at that time. And okay I don't think I can accurately summarize everyone or at least in a non jokey way.

Chan, single father of 7, works very hard, so lovely, father of the year, is only five even though he turned 26 today, precious little guy, also can be seen nakey, has a fat ass, works two jobs, loves his kids and never stops. Didn't write Drive or red lights according to him, "say please"

Lee know, resident butt smacker, cat lover and protector, Scorpio, is dark but in the quirky weird way, actually such a precious boy, most sweet trust worthy eyes I've ever seen. Again like butts.

Changbin: Muscles, gym bro, also very baby girl, and just a silly little guy, very very very loud and energetic. Loves hyunjin no matter how much hyunjin rejects him. My friend's husband.

Hyunjin: Artistic, dramatic, cannot hide his thoughts and emotions if he tried. His facial expressions are like a coloring book even a child can read him. "ew", clumsy noodle, perfect sweetest most lovely boy who I love more than any other man in the world and I just want him to be happy.

Han, Squirrel, the babiest baby girl to ever baby girl, quite possibly the biggest goof and the most lovable little guy, cheeks, that random clip of him screaming and flailing his legs.

Felix: Literally a ray of sunshine, the human embodiment of sugar and happiness, brownie boy, the deepest voice you've ever heard coming from such a tiny sweet man, chicken, "hey hey hey", "is a fork and spoon called a spork or a foon"

Seungmin, Resident comedian and roaster, "bangchan is so old", "you're going to be half 52 next year" Chan's biggest taunter but is also the first one to feed chan during meals. Such a good little and big brother, twerk champion, just such a good boy.

Jeongin: Baby!, bites, eats like food is going to be taken from him it probably is actually, taste tested like 50 cans of energy drinks, quite feral and unhinged but just as done with their antics as seungmin. just a sweet little baby at the end of the day

I hope this was of some help.

[menalez]

Mena omg!!! I wanted to share something with you!! So I went bouldering today and I saw a woman who was wearing shorts and had unshaven legs!!! You can’t imagine how happy this made me this made my day! It was literally the first time I saw a women with her natural legs in public. And it gave me so much power to do so too🥰

omg i love hearing this!!! i have been going bouldering in shorts despite my hairy legs for a few months now and hearing this makes me feel like i also might’ve helped women in the gym too. and i have to say seeing a handful of women who also went in shorts and had hairy legs also made me feel less insecure and confident about my own body hair!! seeing women just exist with body hair is literally so healing ❤️ happy for u anon!!