#what a silly thing to be so upset about....it makes me mad cause it should be easy....

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[dbnightingale24]

React

A Stepcest Love Story About Jim

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Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Trying to decide if I should do one update or two this weekend. Either way, I hope you all enjoy it!

Word Count: 4,963

Warning(s): SMUT (MINORS DNI), Swearing, Family Drama, Infidelity, Step-Daughter/Step-Father relations, Emotional Cheating, Drinking, Arguing, Forbidden Love, Lying, Self Loathing, Sneaking Around...I think that's it.

Summary: This is the final straw that breaks the camel's back.

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I do not give permission/consent for my stories/works to get posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of relationship/behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

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Chapter 3

2 Weeks Later...

Ever since you and Jim fell asleep holding each other close on your bed, you’ve done your best to stay away. Coming up with any excuse to reject any invite your Mother extends. It was silly of you to think that she wouldn’t ask Jim to text you on her behalf. 

Unknown Number: Y/N?

Y/N: Who is this?

Unknown Number: Uh, it’s Jim.

Y/N: How did you get my number?

Unknown Number: Your Mother.

Y/N: Of course. Of course.

Unknown Number: She thinks you’re mad at her because you won’t come over, and thinks you’ll talk to me.

Y/N: I’m not mad at anyone, it’s just better for me to stay away.

Unknown Number: We don’t think so.

Y/N: Jim...don’t.

Unknown Number: Nothing happened.

Y/N: Did you tell her?

Unknown Number: No, because there’s nothing to tell her.

On the one hand, you know that the both of you know that’s total bullshit. On the other hand, technically, nothing did happen. Plus, you know the more you stay away, the more she’s going to bother you and Jim which wouldn’t be good either. So, you explain everything to Ciara, and while she gives you a stern talking to, she agrees to accompany you to whatever your Mother invites you to.

“So, are you two a thing now?” she scoffed once she poured the both of you a cup of coffee.

“That’s not funny.”

“You’re the one who cuddled him-”

“We were both just drunk and overwhelmed. You know how I get when I’m drunk, and you know I only drink like that when I’m around her, Rose, or the both of them at once.”

“Fair point. Well, how do you feel about him?”

“I don’t know? Nothing. He’s my stepfather-”“Yeah, cause that matters.”

“Ci, I’m sitting here asking you to be my decoy. I’m very much aware of what can’t happen.”

“It’s not like you need someone to play devil’s advocate in this situation, but she did go out of her way to keep him a secret and make you the bad guy.”

“He’s good for her and I don’t need her thinking I took someone else from her-”“You’ve never taken anything from her.”“You and I both know that’s not how she views any of it. She had no problems until she got knocked up with me.”

“I hate your Mother.”“Yeah, I know,” you laughed. “Just gotta get through the Summer,” you smiled weakly.

The plan worked well enough, because whenever Ciara didn’t feel like being there or could sense that you were feeling uncomfortable, she could easily say- 

“Darragh needs help with Nora, she’s become really fussy lately. I’m sorry, but we have to go. Y/N is always our last hope if we can’t calm her ourselves.”

Well, apparently that excuse was working too well, because two nights ago you got a call you’d been praying to avoid.

“Jim’s children are coming over this weekend! You’ll be able to make it, right?” your Mother beamed as soon as you picked up the phone.

Jim had to be standing right next to her. 

“Oh...why would I be coming?”

“To meet them! They’re your step-siblings!”

“Uh...Ciara and I made plans with Darragh, cause he’ll be dropping Nora. We figured we all go out.”

“That’s even better! We can all hangout together!”

“Mum, why not-”

“Y/N, it’ll be good for everyone. They need to meet you. We’re all a family now.”

How the fuck is this your fault?

“Yeah, you’re right. Fine.”

“Why are you upset?”“I’m not upset about anything. I’ll see you then-”

“You don’t know the time-”“Just text it to me,” you bit before hanging up.

All of this leads to why you’re currently pacing around in your childhood bedroom. You don’t even know why you’re flustered. You already knew he has children, so why does it matter so much? Why do you care if they like you? It shouldn’t make a difference whether they like you or not. It’s not like you’re going to be hanging around much, especially when you go back to school, so why it driving you mad now?

“Hey, you okay?” Jim asks softly as he makes his way into your room, closing the door behind him.

You just glare at him as you continue to pace.

“What? This wasn’t my idea. We got to talkin’ about doin’ somethin’ small for the weekend, and she realized that my children haven’t met you, and decided to put this together.”

“You don’t want me to meet them?”

“It’s not that.”

“Well, what is it, then?”

“I don’t want them to meet you like this. All flustered and mad-”

“I’m not mad.”

“Don’t be a liar.” “I shouldn’t even be here. What the fuck?!”

“Calm down,” he begs softly, placing his hands on either side of you.

God, you hate how much you’ve missed his touch.

“They’re going to love you, today is going to be fine, and it’ll be done with before you know.”

“How do you know they’ll love me?”

“I know my kids.” “Jim-”

“Don’t stay away anymore.” “God, I can’t have that talk right now.” “What talk?”

“Don’t make me feel stupid on top of everything else!”

“We didn’t do anything-” “Jim, you flirted with me that night. We were standin’ outside my room, you flirted with me, and I liked it. I liked it a lot. Then, we stayed up talking and fell asleep holding each other...I shouldn’t be here.”

“Angel-” “You’re married to my Mother, Jim! My Mother! I can’t...we can’t-”

Taking a deep breath, he releases you and looks down at you. His eyes search the features, while you get lost in his ocean blue eyes.

“I don’t want...we just get along,” he smiles softly at you. “Aren’t we supposed to? I’m not trying to be some sort of father figure in your life, because you clearly don’t need one. If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll only speak to you when you’re here-”

“It won’t, Jim. That’s the problem. It will just-”

“Here you two are!” Ciara whisper yells as she makes her way into your room. “Lover boy, I’m gonna need you to get down there and rein in your wife.” “What do you mean?”

“Her nerves are winning the battle and shes started drinking.” He scowls as he storms out, “fucks sake!”

You finally feel like you can breathe again. 

“What the fuck was that?!”

Shaking your head, you make your way over to your bed and sit, “I shouldn’t be here.”

“You tried to get out of it-”

“Ci, I shouldn’t be here. I should be as far away from him as possible, and-”

“Why...you don’t...Y/N-”

“It’s just a crush,” you quickly defend, but the scoff that leaves her mouth lets you know that she doesn’t believe you at all. “It is!”

“Your stepfather?”

“I haven’t even known him that long! Okay, this is exactly what I mean. I shouldn’t be here.”

“Alright, his kids aren’t here yet. Darragh is already fed up with your Mother, so it shouldn’t be hard for us to get out of here.” Grabbing your hand, she quickly leads you out of the room, “lets go.”

Ciara and Darragh exchange a look as he bounces Nora in his arms, and as  soon as her foot hits the bottom step, and he’s instantly getting up, Nora giggling at his fast movement. They decided to bring her last minute, and it honestly brought you more comfort than you thought it would. 

“Y/M/N I just remembered, I told my parents we’d come by today with Y/N, and it’s too late to cancel-”

“Nonsense!” your Mother slurs as she appears with a smile painted on her face, as an exasperated Jim follows behind her. “The kids are excited and almost here-”

“I figure we can leave now and just come back tomorrow for lunch or something. They’re here for the-”

He’s cut off by the doorbell ringing, and you close your eyes in defeat. Fuck.

You muster the best smile you can as you make your way to the front door, “Hi, I’m Y/N.”

His ex-wife has mixture of irritation and anger on her face, but she does her best to hide it with a smile. 

“You must be the stepdaughter,” she smiles bitterly, and you force yourself to swallow down your irritation.

You still don’t even know how you ended up in this situation.

“I’m Y/N,” you greet as the two children run towards Jim, who’s more than happy to greet them and give them bear hugs.

You hate how much it pulls on your heartstrings.

“Hey Danielle!” your Mother slurs and Danielle looks completely taken aback.

It’s not as if you can blame her.

“It’s been a while!”

“I’ve been so busy,” your Mother laughs, engulfing her in a hug.

You just want the ground to swallow you whole. 

You shake your head and offer a kind smile towards Danielle before telling her, “my best friend, her boyfriend and child, and I will be here all night.”

“Glad to hear it,” she laughs awkwardly, once your Mother finally lets go of her.

“Thanks for bringing ‘em, Danielle,” Jim offers softly as he comes up behind you, mindlessly resting his hand on your shoulder.

The look on her face lets you know that she thinks this is Peyton’s Place, or something close to it. Once again: you can’t blame her.

“You’ll give me a ring if something happens, yeah?” she asks Jim.

“Of course,” he promises with a small chuckle.

Danielle gives your Mother one last look before looking at you and nodding, turning, and leaving.

“Who’s up for a movie?!” you ask excitedly, turning around and making your way back into the house, being met with cheers.

God save you from the hell that’s about to reign down on you.

**

“It’s like your Mother constantly goes out of her way to be a bitch,” Ciara scowls and you laugh.

You’ve done your best to keep your Mother at bay, but it’s been useless. You gave the children (your “siblings”) a choice between ‘Shrek’ and ‘Robots’, and you were so happy they chose ‘Robots’. Your Mother always hated Shrek (for reasons forever unknown to you), and you were afraid it would’ve pushed her further into whatever anxiety depressed state she was in. Turns out, no matter what, she was determined to push herself further into her stupor.

“They really seem to fuckin’ love you,” she slurred as she plopped herself down on one of the kitchen chairs, drink in hand. 

“Mother, stop,” you snapped, “these are your stepchildren! Get it together!”

“Why did ya even have to come home?”

“You invited me for the Summer!”

“Ya just had to-”

“Go to bed,” 

“Is everythin’ okay in here?” Jim asked softly as he made his way into the kitchen. 

“As if you give a fuck,” she mumbled before she took another sip of her drink.

“Stop it!” you snapped again in a hushed tone. “Go upstairs and sleep it off.”

“I’m your Mother!”

“It’s a shame you’ve never acted like it. Now go!”

She mumbled something incoherent as she grabbed her glass and got up. She glared at you before got on her tiptoes and kissed Jim on the cheek, then finally made her way upstairs. You wanted to throw the bottle against the wall, but you knew it would only make things worse for everyone involved.

“Angel-”

“You sure picked a real fuckin’ winner,” you scoffed humorlessly as you started to pace.

“Just calm down-”

“Are ya okay?”

“I’m fine, just take a moment,” he begged as he stood in front of you.

“This was her idea and...I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Why not? Me being here only makes things worse. Only makes her worse.”

“I want you here.”

“Once I’m gone, she’ll be back to the way she was before. You’ll be living in wedded bloody bliss again in no time.”

“Angel, you don’t get it,” he chuckled humorlessly as he cupped your face and looked down at you.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“Jim...no. If anything, that means that I really need to leave.”

“I won’t...I can’t. We can’t...right?”

“Of course!”

“Then why are you lookin at me like that?” he asked softly.

You should’ve moved away from him. You should’ve said ‘no’, but you just stood there like deer stuck in the headlights.

“Tell me you’ll stay.”

“Jim I...”

“Say it, Angel.”

“It’s not right.”

“I know, but I can’t stop it. I don’t want to.”

“I’m your stepdaughter, Jim. This can’t happen.”

“Do you really feel that way? Do you look to me as a Father figure?”

“You know I don’t, but...you’re married. To my Mother.”

“Angel, I have tried so hard, but this...this feels right. Doesn’t it feel right to you? Like it should’ve always been like this?”

“Jim-”

“Doesn’t it feel right?”

You inhaled deeply before you closed your eyes, “yes.”

“I want to be yours, Angel.”

“Jim...stop it. We can’t do this. You’re just mad at her right now, and you have every right to be. You’ll feel differently in-”

“It’s never felt like this with her. Even before you, I’ve never felt the same towards her as I do for you, or for anyone for that matter. I didn’t know I could.”

“Please don’t tell me this. I can’t hear it, Jim.”

“Then let me show you.”

He didn’t give you a chance to even think before he crashed his lips into yours. You hated how natural it felt, because it was wrong. It was wrong on so many levels. The kiss was gentle, but desperate, like he knew it wouldn’t last long. Like he knew it couldn’t last long. Instinctively, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer, loving the way your bodies meshed together as you tried to sear this moment and feeling into your brain. 

You knew this could never happen again.

He backed you against the kitchen wall and gripped your ass tight, before he hoisted you up and you wrapped your legs around his slim frame. The man didn’t look it, but he was stronger than you imagined.

And you’d imagined a lot.

You moaned as he started to kiss down from your jawline to your neck, “Jim...please.”

“I’ll do anything you want, Angel. Just tell me what you want.”

“You,” you whimpered as you ground yourself against him.

“Fuck!”

“I just want you!” you assured him as quietly as you could. “I just need you!”

“Can’t wait to-”

“Dad! Do you need help with anythin’?!” his son called from the living area, and it pulled you both out of your trances.

“No, I’ll be back with the popcorn soon!” Jim called as he looked up into your eyes. 

When the hell did he even start making popcorn?

He slowly put you down as he let out a heavy sigh, “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t...we shouldn’t keep dancing around this.”

“I’ll leave in the morning-”

“I don’t want that at all. Stay tonight and we’ll figure this all-”

“Jim, this can’t happen again. Ever again.”

“We both want it to-”

“This will fan out before it even has a chance to turn into anything-”

“I love you.”

“Stop it, Jim.”

“I love you. I’m in love with you.”

“I’m just a nice vacation from my Mother, and you’ll-”

“You think that’s all I want? Close your legs to me forever, I’ll still want you, Angel.”

“Jim-”

“We can figure this out.”

“We have! We can’t do this ever again.”

He chuckled humorlessly as he pressed himself against you, “is that what you truly believe? That this is the end of it?”

“Jim-”

“Dad!” his son yelled, which only made him chuckle softly.

“I’m comin’” he called back. “This isn’t done,” he promised before he walked away.

Since that little incident in the kitchen, you’ve avoided all eye contact with Jim, as well as any close encounters. You feel like everyone will know if you two lock eyes, and you truly can’t deal with that right now. You can’t deal with any of it. How the hell did it even get this point? Just this morning, he told you that there’s nothing to be worried about, and now...?

You can’t do this. You can’t fall for this trap. He’s just hurting, and it’ll all go to shit. How can he be in love with you? He barely even knows you, but he claims to be in love with you? How would it even work? It can’t. Your Mother will hate the both of you, and she’d have every right. This is so-

“Babe, did you hear me?” Ciara laughs softly, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“I’m sorry, no, I’m so drained,” you chuckle softly, shaking your head.

You’ve got to stop.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna stay over tonight?”

“I should stay. Who knows what she’ll be like in the morning, and I don’t want the kids dealing with her with just Jim. If the day needs to be saved, I’ll be here.”

“Well, aren’t you noble? Well, that and I’m sure you want to continue what you and Jim started.”

You can feel your blood freezing.

“What...how...?”

“Besides the way you avoided him like the plague, I was going in there to check on you, and saw you up against the wall, and him being the reason for it.”

“Oh my God!”

“I’m not going to say anything and I’m not going to judge you. However, you two do need to figure this out, and figure it out soon.”

 “I don’t even know how it got to this point. He claims he’s in love with me, but how can that be? Besides, there’s no way we can actually be together,” you groan, dropping your face into your hands. “The smart thing to do is to leave, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

“Then why is so damn hard for me to agree to leave?”

“Because you like him...a lot.”

“I’ve barely even spent time with him.”

“But the time ya have spent with him has been intimate. You both got to know each other in a personal way.”

“He’s my stepdad!”

“It’s not like you’re a child. You’re a grown woman.”

“He’s married to my Mother.”

“Because that’s goin’ so well.”

“She was fine until I came home.”

“She invited you home for the Summer! She has no reason to act like this, besides, if you didn’t set her off something else would have. She can only hide her real self for so long.”

“What if he’s actually good for her?”

“You think she can come back from this? Babe, even if he doesn’t end up with you, he’s never going to stay with her. Especially after that spectacle tonight,” she scoffs while placing her hands on her hips. “In case you forgot, she didn’t tell you that she got married.”

“C, this isn’t right.”

“I never said that it was. It’s backwards as shit, but I’ve seen the way you two look at one another. The way you both try not to look at one another. There’s something between the both of you.”

“There shouldn’t be. There shouldn’t be for so many reasons,” you sob as tears fill your eyes.. “God, maybe I’ll just head back early-”

“And go where? Do what?”

“C-”

“Just talk to him. He clearly has some things he needs to say so, at least, clear the air.”

“I can’t think when I’m around him.”

“I don’t think he’s much better, love,” she giggles softly as she gives your hand a gentle squeeze.

“I shouldn’t be this torn up about this.”

“The heart wants what it wants. Like I said, just talk. See what happens,” she smiles reassuringly before wrapping you in a tight hug. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“I don’t see how it can be.”

“Just give it time. Everything in life requires time,” she assures you, letting go as both Darragh and Jim walk in. “Tell me how it goes.”

She gives you a quick kiss on the cheek along with a reassuring nod, before making her way over to Darragh, taking his hand, and walking out. You hear Nora coo softly when Ciara lifts her up, and a small smile comes to your face.

You’d choose her life over yours any day, honestly.

The door closes and you know you’re alone with Jim which, in some ways, is the last thing you want.

“Where are the kids?” you ask softly, avoiding Jim’s heated and heavy gaze.

“Everyone’s asleep, Angel,” he promises as he corners you.

That nickname is gonna drive you insane.

“Then we should be too.”

“We’re not done-”

“Jim, I’m just a welcomed distraction. You’ll get over this. Over me.”

“I don’t want to-”

“Jim, we can’t-”

“I know your heart rate speeds up when we’re alone, Angel. Mine does too. You want me the same way I want you.”

“Sex and intimacy are not the same thing.”

“And I never said that’s what this is.”

“Jim, this can’t happen anymore-”

“You don’t think about me the same way I think about you? You don’t want me in the same way I want you?”

“She’s my Mother, Jim.”

“Do you think of me as your Stepfather? As your Father?”

“You know I don’t.”

“Then what’s wrong?” he asks as he cups your face.

“This can be the only time we do this,” you breathe as he closes the space between the both of you. “Fuck.”

“There’s my good girl,”

“Jim...we can still stop.”

“We don’t want to.”

“We shouldn’t in here,” you breathe, mind foggy as you feel his breath on your neck.

“Anything and anywhere you want,” he husks before planting feverish kisses along your neck.

Fuck, is this really going to happen?

“Maybe...maybe we should wait-”

“I can’t wait anymore, Angel.”

“What if she wakes up?”

He’s quicker than you ever imagined as he stands up straight and leads you through the house. Almost in an instant, he’s leading you downstairs and into the spare room your grandparents had made for you to hide in when their arguments with your Mother got to be too much for you.

“Problem solved,” he husks before crashing his lips into yours.

It’s wrong, on so many levels, but it feels so good. He feels so good.

“Tell me this isn’t just sex,” you moan while he kisses down your body.

“Angel, this is so much more to me,” he promises, unbuttoning your shorts and pulling down. “I love you so much,” he groans, taking in your scent.

“Jim!”

“Been dreamin’ of this cunny, Angel. Let Daddy have a taste.”

You bite down hard on your bottom and swallow down your moan as he starts to suck on your clit. Lulling your head back, you close your eyes and grip his hair tight, quickly forgetting about all the guilt you felt only moments ago.

You gasp when you feel two slender fingers push their way inside, “fuck! You’re so....ahh fuck!” you whimper as quietly as you can.

Feeling the vibration from his moaning, has you ready to cum on the spot, but you’re not ready for it to end so fast.

Jim isn’t having that.

“Don’t make me beg, Angel,” he growls, looking up at you, fucking you faster with his fingers. “Give it to me.”

“I fucking...don’t wanna...fuck!”

“C’mon, Angel. Give me what I need,” he begs, using his thumb to massage your clit. 

“Fuck!”

“You sound so beautiful,” he groans doubling down on his efforts .

Your legs almost buckle as your orgasm washes over you, your desire soaks his wrist, and he fucks you through your high.

“You’re really somethin’ else,” he smirks as he slowly stands up, looking down at you with love and adoration in his eyes, while he slowly removes his fingers. “So lovely and all mine,” he whispers before delivers another soul stealing kiss.

You can taste yourself on his lips, and it only turns you on even more. Wrapping your arms around him, you let yourself get lost in him, almost completely oblivious to the fact that Jim is moving you both back towards the bed.

“Stop,” you breathe, forcing yourself to let go of him once you feel the back of your legs against the bed. “Take your shirt off.”

Lust floods his eyes as he takes a step back and slowly takes off his shirt. 

If you’re going to Hell, you may as well enjoy the ride.

Your hand lightly traces over his chest as you marvel, “you’re beautiful.”

“You’re one to talk,” he chuckles softly, caressing the side of your face. “If you want to stop-”

“We’ve already started,” you giggle softly.

“I love you, Y/N. I don’t want this to be over after tonight.”

“Lets just be here tonight, my love,” you smile weakly.

It’s not like you can blame alcohol, because you haven’t had a drink all day. This is a choice you’re making all on your own. You can’t even find it in you to feel bad right now because, with how he’s looking at you, the only thing you feel is love.

“Show me how much ya love me tonight,” you whisper as you undo his jeans. “Show me how much you need me.”

In no time at all, you’re both naked and under the covers of your long forgotten “emergency” bed. A very small part of you is still in shock over what’s about to take place, but as worships your body with his tongue, you instantly realize that it’s not enough to call it off and pretend it isn’t happening.

When you feel his tongue massage your right nipple while he sucks on it like it’s the world’s best lollipop, all regrets and guilt go out the window. 

“Angel?” Jim breathes, propping himself and looking down at you.

“Yeah?”

“Say it,” he pleads, slowly spearing into you.

“Oh fuck!”

“Please...fuck!” he grunts, gripping the sheets a bit tighter. “Please...please fuckin’ say it!” he begs desperately as he starts to pick up his pace.

“Fuck, I love you! I love you so...oh God!” you groan as he starts to pick up the pace. 

“You’re perfect.”

“Jim!”

“I know, Angel...just...Jesus, ya grippin’ me so tight!”

“Fuck...so close!! Right there...ahht!!”

“C’mon, Angel!”

“Jim...oh...OH!!”

You both go right over the edge at the same time, with Jim dipping down to kiss you in a weak attempt to silence your moans.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Give me a second,” Jim laughs softly, resting his head in the crook of your neck, while softly resting his body on top of yours.

“We’re fucked. We’re so fucked,” you laugh humorlessly.

“Angel, we’re going to be together-”

“Jim, it’s not like this is some regular affair. You’re married to my Mother. You’re my Stepfather. No matter what happens, this can only end poorly.”

“Then why did you do it?” he questions, pushing himself up a little.

You cup his face and caress the right side softly, “because I love ya, Jim. I’m in love with ya.”

Jim says nothing, he just dips down and kisses you passionately, and you feel him come back to life fore you.

His thrusts start off slow as a smirk comes to his lips, “I think we should have one more go, yeah?”

You dig your nails into his shoulder blades as you arch your back, “please!”

You and Jim spend the next hour or so getting tangled in your sheets, with you two mainly telling each other how much you both love and need one another. Yes, you don’t know much about the man, but you know that you’re drawn to him in every way that a person can be drawn to someone. Your heart, soul, and mind, has never reacted to someone in this way.

He is the missing piece you’ve always been looking for.

“Jim?” you question softly, laying your head on his chest and softly playing with his chest hairs.

“Yeah?”

“We can’t do this ever again. Ya know that, right?”

“We’re gonna figure this out-”

“Jim, ya married her. My Mother. Ya can’t-”

“I’ll figure it out-”

“There’s nothing to figure out, and you know that. You’re married to my Mother and this...this is for tonight only. She may not be a good Mother, but she is my Mother. At one point, you loved her and when I’m gone, you will again. You’ll see-”

“I loved a version of her. This isn’t just some fling with you-’

“She’s my Mother, Jim! I know that I love ya, and I believe that you love me, but this can’t happen. She’d never forgive me and I wouldn’t blame her. God, if she had any idea...Jim, it can’t happen again.”

“I don’t want that.”

“I don’t either, but it’s for the best.”

“If it’s what’s best, I’ll do it,” he sighs heavily, pulling you closer to him.

“I love you, Jim.”

“I love you too, Angel.”

“You can’t be here in the morning.”

“Just let me hold you a bit longer,” he begs softly.

You nod your head softly as you blink back tears. You know that this is the right thing to do. Yeah, your heart is breaking, and you know this isn’t something you’re gonna get over over night, but it’s what needs to be done. Tonight is all you two have, but what a night it was. As you slowly start to drift off to sleep, a small smile comes to your face. For just a moment, you two had each other. You had it all.

Tomorrow, you’ll wake up and all of this will be a distant memory, and you’ll be strong enough to move on.

...right?

~~

[robinuntamed]

Irrefutable

“You mean, would I have done it for you?” Lan Zhan asked with this hurt look in his eyes, and Wei Wuxian wished to have swallowed his tongue whole.

“No! No, no, nothing like that. That’s just stupid. All this hypothetical business is rubbish anyway, I know that—”

Even worse, this soft thing his face should not physically be able to do without shifting a single cun. “Wei Ying. I would give you my core.”

Ah, well. Hmm. No, there was no chance to process that. The worst part about life two was maybe how un-flustereably sweet Lan Zhan turned out to be: Wei Wuxian suspected he may have always been sweet, under the solid layer of embarrassment. Now there wasn’t even that.

“Shameless,” he managed, croakily.

Lan Zhan just looked at him. He didn’t move his lips, but he was smiling. “My life is Wei Ying’s,” he declared simply. “My body. My—” stopped only when Wei Wuxian’s hand was on his vexingly-gorgeous mouth.

“All right! All right. It was a stupid question and I’m a stupid man, we get it. Please, Lan Zhan, I can’t bear any more.”

“You will bear it,” the fiend said, after pressing an unfair tiny kiss to his palm.

“Mercy,” Wei Wuxian whined. His chest was too tight for all of this. For all this Lan Zhan, soft and lovely in the evening light, every line of him in blinding, overwhelming harmony. The room was beautiful, the best Jinlintai had to offer, and still seemed a crude backdrop; Lan Zhan was grace itself.

“Mm,” came his concession, or perhaps his refusal, since he pressed another kiss to the hand he would not release, then another.

“Lan Zhan. Lan—Zhan! Lan Zhan, stop, stop it, unless you’d like a puddle of melted Wei Wuxian and it’s going to ruin your nice robes and probably get sticky in your hair and Lan Zhan are you even listening?”

He wasn’t, clearly, although he did this thing with his shoulders that signified laughter, and Wei Wuxian did melt, just, his whole chest gone writhing and slippery and helpless, he was so entirely helpless against this. The only enemy the fearsome Yiling Laozu couldn’t match. And in fact, the battle was getting much fiercer, and unimaginably dirty:

“Lan Zhan, that tickles! Stop, stop, you magnificent arsehole, ah, ha, that, stop, stop, I beg you!”

Stopped only to give him this puzzled look. Something in his tone must have registered. “Did I upset Wei Ying?”

“No,” helpless, rubbing his useless eyes. How to explain this ever-raging storm in his blood of I want to make the whole world yours, and that would still not be enough? “No, Lan Zhan, you're just… perfect.”

He tilted his head the tiniest of angles, suddenly transforming into something so serious it scratched inside Wei Wuxian’s throat. “Not perfect,” Lan Zhan said, as if to make a point. He was mad.

“Huh?” nose scrunching when—he didn’t frown, but—“Lan Zhan. Come here.” Taking his face in two hands, his beautiful, impossible face, which still didn’t move and now was inconsolably, irreparably sad? What the actual hell? Wei Wuxian did that sometimes, said the wrong thing and caused this mini-avalanche, this earthquake which threatened everything good. But he wasn’t even talking about himself this time. What did he say to make Lan Zhan sad?

How dare he make the world’s most perfect man—ah.

Idiot, idiot, idiot. Wei Wuxian could strangle himself if his hands weren’t holding something much more precious. Pressing tighter: “Silly creature. Lan Zhan, let me promise you, the standards for perfection are vastly different between yours and the rest of the known world, but neither matter. You don’t need to be perfect.”

“I know.”

Yeah, he would, wouldn't he. “You may know it here,” Wei Wuxian said, as gently as he could, and kissed right above the bridge of his nose. “I think you might forget it elsewhere. Lan Zhan, you’re everything I could ever want. No, you’re far more than that.”

Slow, cautious blinking: fuck, Wei Wuxian really put his foot in his mouth this time. Lan Zhan looked afraid. Had he not—stupid, stupid Wei Wuxian, has he not been clear enough? Did he not do his best to reassure this miracle of a man that… he should be spending every second of every minute of every hour of every day solely on—

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said. His voice was so deep and so familiar that it settled him, even when it shouldn’t have.

“Lan Zhan,” heartbroken, “you know that I…”

He placed his hands over Wei Wuxian’s. “I know.”

“No, listen. This is important. You know that I—”

“Wei Ying,” softly, “I know.”

“Will you let me speak, you gorgeous arse. Listen. You’re the only reason I—”

“Wei Ying.”

Shaking him: “Stop interrupting and listen. You’re all that matters to me. I would work every day for the rest of my life to be worthy of you and I know I would never be; I would spend every moment on providing you every shred of happiness; I would go to the ends of the earth with a smile.”

Lan Zhan looked at him for the longest moment, then said, “Mm.”

“Mm? That’s all you have to say for yourself? Silly thing, did you listen? Do you get it now? Do you understand how breathtaking and crucial and—”

“I understand,” the bastard cut him off, the edge of his nose brushing Wei Wuxian’s. “My answer remains the same.”

“Your answer?”

The tiniest quirk of his lips, managing to look exasperated and disastrously fond: “Mm.”

“What answer? What are you even on about? Did I ask you a question? Honestly, sometimes you old men do drone on and on when something so simple can be said instead, and…” Wei Wuxian realised he was panicking, had no idea why.

“You asked,” Lan Zhan said.

“Huh?”

He made this face, half fiendish and half bashful, all devastating, and pulled away the tiniest bit until his one blurry eye became definite two. He was the dearest thing in the whole world, so much was true: he was beautiful, and perfect only in the ways that mattered, in the shape of his face under Wei Wuxian’s palms and the burst of never-ending affection that would ruin Wei Wuxian’s life. Running a helpless finger over full, red lips, rejoicing in the trembliness of it, of this joy. Lan Zhan truly was a miracle, and he was looking right at him so, so seriously.

“I would give Wei Ying my core.”

Wei Wuxian could only shut him up with a kiss.

[ruhrohimrorny]

Investment

Jotaro x reader

Words: 1938

Authors Note: Ok so I posted this on my Ao3, but then I decided I wanted to post it on my Tumblr too, so here’s me breaking my inactivity to do this. I initially had Rohan in mind for this one, but then I was going through a Jotaro phase so it became a Jotaro fic instead. Enjoy.

You both walked back from dinner to your apartment. At this point, the sky was devoid of most light, save for the growing ambient glow of the moon. Walking alongside him, his arms swung back and forth, and his eyes searched your face.

“Are you mad at me?”

You fought to not roll your eyes.

“No, it’s fine.”

“My mom always told me that meant the person was actually angry”

“Well did your mommy forget to tell you you should compliment your girlfriend more?”

“What do you mean?”

You stopped walking and looked at him, his eyes conveying a genuine lack of understanding.

“I mean, I spent four hours getting ready, and all I got was a ‘you look pretty’ and then no other acknowledgements of how I looked. You didn’t check me out, you didn’t seem to have refrain yourself from touching me, and not once were you so overwhelmed by my beauty that you had to interrupt me to tell how stunning I am.”

He cocked an eyebrow at you.

“You read too much romance.”

“I know, and I also know it’s kind of silly of me to be this upset. But I put so much effort in, pushed myself so far out of my comfort zone, and felt so confident in myself, so to just get a three word compliment and nothing more kind of hurts.”

“Ya, but why would I have to keep telling you how good you look? You know I think you’re beautiful; I’m dating you.”

“I know you do, but it’s nice to hear it. Look, you probably spent, what, an hour getting ready? Maybe two? But I think I spent the whole night gushing over how cute you looked. Because even though I know you know that I think you’re handsome, I wanted to make sure you knew that I saw the effort you put in to looking nice tonight, which I would like too. To have my efforts feel seen.”

“Well, it’s not like I asked you to spend four hours getting ready. You made that choice on your own.”

You dragged your nails over your face, feeling exasperated at how unrelenting your boyfriend was.

“Look, whatever. I don’t feel like standing here and arguing. Let’s just go.”

You started walking again, your heels returning their attack on the blisters you had developed from a week of practicing walking in them.

“I don’t see how I’m in the wrong, though.”

That was enough to cause you to stall and grind your teeth.

“Jotaro, it’s not about being ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. I already admitted this was a ridiculous thing for me to be upset about, so I can tell you right now I don’t even think I’m ‘right’. But you asked if I was upset, so I told you. I’m just hurt. I mean, how hard would it be for you to say ‘I’m sorry’ and vow to compliment me more than once next time I get dressed up? Apparently too fucking hard, because then you would be ‘wrong’.”

“Ok, fine then. I’m sorry.”

You turned around and started walking, hoping that he wouldn’t see that your eyes were starting to water.

“I don’t want an apology if you have to force it. I’m going home. You should too.”

You hated this. You both were, for the most part, go-with-the-flow people. Hardly ever did you both get worked up, and usually never over such trivial things. So you felt slightly ridiculous while walking away, damn near crying over your boyfriend’s characteristic lack of verbal affection. What did you expect? He was like this when you met him, why would you think he would change.

“I don’t want you to do that. I’m not comfortable with you just walking home alone after dark. We don’t have to talk, just let me walk you home.”

“Fine.”

You continued walking, and heard the constant fall of his feet behind you. He never made any effort to walk beside you. You weren’t sure if that was because he needed space, or if that was his attempt at giving you some.

“You know, walking a few feet behind me makes you look exactly like the kind of creep you were worrying about me encountering.”

He pulled out his creepy voice, a cross between Gollum and a fedora wearing Reddit mod.

“I just think you’re so pretty, I wanted to walk behind you in the hopes of catching a whiff of your delectable pheromones. Mmmm, I’m catching some hints of bergamot, and, mmm, maybe some violet.”

He sniffed deeply and you looked back to see him theatrically scooping the air towards his face. His eyes were closed and his lips pursed.

“Is that a little bit of fart I’m smelling? Did you toot, darling? You know that I love such a sudden and immodest noise.”

You tried to keep the laugh in your chest, let it die there and potentially kill you rather than risk letting him know he made you crack. But you couldn’t hold it in, not when he quoted James Joyce’s greatest work.

“Stop, you sound like a fucking perv.”

But you were laughing and so was he. Until an “ow” escaped your lips and you had to bend down to rub the festering blister, as though that would somehow help it. You heard his footsteps continue until his deep blue shoes came up right next to your shiny black ones.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, these heels are giving me blisters, and my boyfriend didn’t offer me any salve in the form of compliments to ease the pain and make it worthwhile.”

“Maybe I should stop asking that question.”

Right as you were about to crane your neck to glare at him, he bent over to be at eye level with you.

“I’m sorry. And I know you’re still mad at me, but let me carry you home. We don’t have to talk, and you don’t even have to acknowledge me. You can pretend that you’re being carried home by the wind, or a super hot ghost. But please let me help you.”

“Oh, so you’re gonna try to white knight yourself out of this one?”

You rolled your eyes, but wrapped your arms around his neck and let his hand come under your knees, as this was the least he could do for you was this. He stood up like he was carrying a plushie and carried you without complaint. It was silent for a few minutes, until you came under the warm light of a street lamp, where he decided to stop and peer down at you. You looked back at him, waiting for him to explain why the breeze that was carrying you home died out all of the sudden. But he just stood there with a goofy smile on his face, his body twisting back and forth, almost like he was rocking a baby.

“What are you doing?”

“Your face looks really pretty in this lighting.”

“But not in the lighting of the restaurant, right?”

“Nope. Those lights made you look hideous. Now you look alright.”

“Glad the feeling was mutual. I was holding back gags the whole time we were there, because looking at your face just proved to be too much.”

“Ohhh, I thought that was disgust for the food. Well, thank you for the clarification.”

“You’re welcome. I think I would’ve been less disgusted finding a pube hair in my food than looking at your face.”

“Well, I would’ve been less disgusted by the waiter clipping his toenails on the table than looking at your face.”

“I would’ve been less disgusted by the waiter admitting he wanted to have a body pillow made with a fully nude picture of me than looking at yours.”

“I’ll just let him have mine,” Jotaro retorted, again using his creepy voice.

That sent you both into a laughing fit, and you held onto his shoulders a little tighter as he shook from laughter. Coming down from the high of it, he looked at you smiling, his eyes telling you the one thing you wanted to hear all night: that you were beautiful to him, in ways that were easily felt but difficult to explain. But, responding to your needs, he decided to try.

“I love you. And I really do think you’re beautiful, in every lighting. I’m sorry for not telling you that, but I guess I figured you’d already know. But that’s an excuse. Just because you know that you are an angel walking amongst men, that shouldn’t stop me from telling you that. It wouldn’t kill me to tell you how your eyeliner kept drawing me in and I was afraid I was making too much eye contact. And it wouldn't hurt to let you know your dress was driving me crazy all night. And that lipstick is the perfect shade for you. And you smelled so warm, like flowers in the summer. And your skin is so glowy I wanted to hold the candle that was on the table up to your face to see the way the light reflected off of different points of your face, but I didn’t because that would’ve been really weird and probably a fire hazard.”

“Well, you had me until the last part. If you had done that I probably would’ve just taken up with the hypothetical body pillow waiter.”

“And I wouldn’t have blamed you. Honestly, I wouldn't blame you even if you chose him now, because he probably wouldn’t have been a douchey boyfriend and not complemented you. In fact, I think with him you’d be drowning in compliments.”

“Ya, all the wrong kinds.”

“I don’t know, I think a dude telling you you have the perfect voice for a hentai would be a compliment of the highest degree.”

“I think the only degree here is the severity of whatever crime he ends up being convicted of.”

“Well, while he’s in jail could I get a second chance?”

“I guess. He did say this could be a good opportunity for us to explore other options. Personally, I think he’s been cheating on me. I’ve seen him on dating sites before.”

“What, 23andMe?”

You laughed, and in his arms you melted.

“And Ancestry.com. Now take me home, good steed.”

“Neighh, alright.”

It was only a few more minutes until you arrived, but you wanted it to take an hour. After making up, there was a warmth between the two of you, and you didn’t want it to end. You caressed the back of his neck as you held on, and he would, on occasion, look down at you and smile fondly. Soon you made it to your front door, and you felt him grip you just a little more securely, as though he’d hold you forever just to keep you from going. But he eventually let you down, and you went to unlock the front door. Since it was a task that required only muscle memory as opposed to your full attention, you were able to turn your head to look at him, and found him staring down at you, the lovesick smile still engraved on his face.

“You know, you’re more than welcome to spend the night. If you want.”

“And if I want to spend every night thereafter?”

“I wouldn’t blame you, but that’ll require a little more of an investment on your end.”

“The kind that goes on your ring finger?”

“Maybe…”

You turned around and led him into the apartment, while unbeknownst to you he fiddled with the investment contained in the box in his pocket.

[gin-juice-tonic]

Hey Gin this might be a silly thing to ask, but how did you realize you were trans? Cause ever since I saw your trans Stan and Ford I think I had some sort of relivation, it started with just really enjoying the art you drew to me feeling some sort of envy. Either that I want to dress more masculine or that I actually want to be a man, cause honestly when I look at your trans stans I just feel so much gender envy (jealousy?) And on my last period I had a whole crying fit over it starting, which has never happened before. I just don't know if this is actually what I'm feeling or if it isn't. I've had thoughts of telling my mom and fearing the consequence. This is just all so new and I'm honestly scared. I figured I'd ask you since I look up to you and from what I've seen you are quite wise. I don't really know why I have so much self doubt and constantly flip flop over things. It's frustrating, I just wish I could be certain about something for once. Sorry about this, I'm a mess really.

It’s not silly to ask. My answer is unfortunately a little silly, because I’m a goober. I also typed A LOT so its all going under a read more

So, I was 16 and on tumblr even more than I am now, and I was (still am) friends with a trans woman who reblogged a post that was like “Just trans girl things: eating dark chocolate because it has substances similar to estrogen” and I went “Haha i guess I should stop eating it.” followed by “…why do I feel that way” and THAT was followed by quite the crisis.

Trans men weren’t as well known about back then, so I was like “Well, it means nothing, since only women can be trans”. And then I found out men could be trans too and that pushed my crisis further along. And I started to think. About how I liked when people defaulted to male pronouns for me on the internet, or how when i was a kid I would use a crazy amount of shampoo to make my hair look short and flatten my chest in front of the mirror and look at it. Things like that. And I got upset because “no i can’t be trans that’s impossible”. I would google things like “how do you know if you’re trans”, “quiz to see if you’re trans”, ect.

But the idea of being seen as a man was exciting. It was tantalizingly exciting. And I knew it could be possibility for me someday, and I knew that made a part of me happy and I couldn’t un-know it.

Final straw was a nonbinary person I had been following made a post about how they were going to start taking testosterone. And instead of feeling happy for them I just got mad and started sobbing to myself. Because I was so extremely jealous. So jealousy absolutely has its place in figuring things out.

You should think. Think about attaining the things you’re envious about. Does this make you happy? It’s okay if it’s upsetting or scary at the same time. Change often is. But if it makes you happy, excites you, gives you hope for the future, it’s worth thinking more about.

-

You don’t have to jump into telling your mom right away (and I wouldn’t really recommend it till you’re a little more sure of yourself). You can go at whatever pace you want to. I didn’t tell my mom (or anyone in my real life at all) till I was like, 20. And I’d known for 4 years at that point. You’ve sent me a tumblr message, so I’m assuming you’ve got an account here. I’d say asking your friends on this website to address you as male would be a good way to ease into things. And you can see if you like that or not.

For how you dress, again, you can ease into it. Personally it made me happy to dress in athletic clothing (especially tank tops- to show off my non existent guns), or to dress like a greaser (Though I preferred a black t shirt to a white one), or a golfer. None of those things particularly scream ‘man’ but they were man enough to me. You can find things man enough for you. If you want to try out a binder and think you can get one without anyone noticing, my first ever one was a Tri-top from Underworks. They’re like $30 or so. I was able to get away with buying it because I was a cosplay nerd so I just said it was for that.

If you’re the type of person who owns makeup- you could try to find some time alone just to have an experiment of mimicking drag king makeup, or makeup for cosplayers doing male characters. I did that once early on, and while it looked admittedly goofy, it made me ecstatic at the time.

-

Er sorry for things getting so long. But I just want to say lastly that self doubt is both normal and okay. And thinking far in the future (ie- things like coming out to people or hormones or anything like that) might scare you. But you can take things one step at a time if you want to. Play with just looking at clothes, making outfits on pinterest or whatever, imagining scenarios where people address you as male, thinking of names you might like. See what makes you happy, and expand on the things that do from there.

And regardless of what you discover, in the end you will have learned more about yourself. And that's always a good thing.

[ashes-writing-corner]

Hey guys! I am so sorry for the super long delayed update to this. I've been super busy, I've been sick, and I've had an injury I'm recovering from. I'm doing better, I just messed up my tailbone a while back. And i've also been super dedicated to getting my book done. But you're not here for that! You're here for the Ghosts that We Knew! Let's gooooo!

Taglist: @stargatenovus @poisonedsultana and @cedar-bees

Tw: none really, maybe a mention of Necrophilia, hinted Spectrophilia but it doesn't go into details. So yeah...

Ghosts That We Knew

Part 14. Spectrophilia

“Are you and mama mad at each other?” Ellie asked one afternoon as she put aside the doll she was playing with.

Ghost was watching her from a corner in the room, as he always did when the girl was home and playing by herself. She had seemed somewhat somber these days, since you had figured out who he was and what he did. Ellie had felt the tension. She was doing everything her little mind could come up with to try and make them happy again, and it seemed to work to a degree. But there was still a sort of intensity whenever you and Ghost were in the same room. You hadn’t completely stopped talking to him, but you seemed hesitant to say anything.

“No lovey, we aren’t mad at each other” he answered quickly.

“Mama seems upset about something” Ellie pointed out, looking at the ghost who looked so comically big in that small corner.

Ghost sighed a little. “I…did kinda do something”.

“What’d you do?”.

Now to come up with an explanation a little kid would understand. That was the hard part. Ghost wasn’t stupid. He knew kids were smarter than adults usually gave them credit for. However, this wasn’t her fight to sort out. This wasn’t her problem to solve. This was between you and Ghost, whatever this was.

“I kept a secret that I shouldn’t have” he said.

“But I thought that’s the point of secrets?” Ellie cocked her head.

She wasn’t wrong. Thankfully he had a good counter for that.

“Sometimes yes. But serious ones, ones that could hurt people, they need to be told. Not be secrets. Surprises are temporary, secrets aren’t. I kept something from your mum that seriously hurt her feelings. We talked about it and I thought we were doing okay”.

“What was the secret?”

Now that was something he didn’t want to tell her. Not yet. Not to mention it really wasn’t his place to tell her. It was yours, and he wasn’t about to take that from you.

“Your mum will tell you when you’re older, I’m sure”.

“But I wanna know now,” Ellie said, “Please?”

Behind his mask, he couldn’t help but smile. “I appreciate the manners, kiddo, but I can’t tell ya. No matter how much I want to. It’s gonna be alright. I promise. Your mum just needs time and we gotta wait for your little brain to develop a little-”.

Ellie frowned. “You think I’m stupid…”

“What? No! No, never! I could never think that way about you, lovey. You’re a smart kid. It’s just that, problems between adults should stay between adults” he carefully sat down just in front of her on her bed, “What gave you that silly idea?”

Ellie put her hands on her head. “I hate talking about my brain”.

“Why?”

“Makes me feel dumb”.

“Sweetheart, you are anything but dumb. There’s just some things that you don’t understand yet. But I promise you, someday you will. It’ll take a while, but you will. And I’ll be there when your mum wants to tell you. You’re not alone Ellie, and you never will be if I can help it”.

With that, he hugged the little girl as best he could. It was cold, but Ellie didn’t seem to mind it. She was still worried about the situation though, she couldn’t help that.

“Can you and mama be friends again?” she asked.

“I’ll try to talk to her and see what’s going on. I caused this and I think only I can fix it. But seriously, Noelle…Do not for one second think you're dumb, stupid, ugly, or whatever negative thing is in your little head. You are remarkable. You’re sweet, kind, and you have the biggest heart of any kid I know. What or whoever is saying otherwise-”.

“My brain says it…” she admitted with a frown.

Behind his mask, Ghost frowned. Depression in such a young child was hard to swallow. He understood what she meant and that was a sad thing. But at least he knew.

“My brain used to say things like that too” he told her.

“Really?” she asked.

Ghost nodded. “A lot, actually. I…Only I didn’t hear my voice in my head saying things like that”.

Ellie cocked her head. “It wasn’t your voice?”

“Nope. My father was very mean, he’d say terrible things and do terrible things. Whenever my brain said negative things about me, I’d hear him say it”.

“What would you do to make it stop?”.

He couldn’t tell her that in the end, the voice had won over. No, he wouldn’t let her be without hope like he had been. He couldn’t do that to her.

“I’d tell him to shut up. That I was doing the best I could, and if nothing was good enough for him, then I’d give him nothing. Pay him no mind, give him no credence. No attention. Nothing. I would listen to music. Think of things that I liked, things that made me happy. And most of the time, he would stop”.

Ellie looked thoughtful. “Can you tell my brain to shut up?”

Ghost chuckled. “I can do something better. Close your eyes for me”.

The girl did as he asked and he put his hands on either side of her head. Again, his touch was cold, but she didn’t seem to mind at all.

“Hey, Ellie’s brain…be nice” he whispered, “She’s got it rough enough as is. She doesn’t need you makin’ it worse. If you aren’t nicer to her, I’ll come in there, and you’ll be very sorry”.

Ellie laughed and her eyes fluttered open. “Will it help?”.

“Well, when your brain starts saying mean things, I want you to remember that. I want you to hear my voice in your head saying just that. Sometimes our greatest bullies are the ones inside us. But it doesn’t need to be. When that happens, tell me or your mum, and we can make those thoughts go away”.

Ellie nodded in understanding. “Thank you” she wished she could hug him.

She didn’t need to, as Ghost reached his arms out and embraced her in an icy hold. “There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for you, sweetheart. Remember that”.

“I’ll try…” she answered.

“That’s all I can ask” he replied letting her go, “I’ll try talking to your mum. I promise you, none of this is your fault or anything. It’s purely mine. I’ll take care of it. I promise. You just worry about being the best dang Ellie there is”.

Ellie smiled widely and nodded. “I’ll try. Thank you!”.

“You got this little one” he stood, “Now to go talk to your mum. Whatever you hear, I promise: It’s not your fault. Alright?”

“Not my fault”.

“Exactly. If you have to, cover your ears and keep saying it”.

“Are you guys gonna yell?”

His eyes softened more at that. “I’ll try not to. But your mum is really upset with me. Not you, me. Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise”

He remembered being that young and being afraid of his parent’s raised voices. He didn’t have anyone to protect him then, and he would be damned if he failed to protect her. It was bad enough the poor dear suffered from depression already. Ghost refused to make it worse if it could be helped.

Now it was time again to face the music, and figure out what exactly was bothering you now…

You were sitting in your room, having just washed up from dinner and now settling into your night routine. You were still looking for a therapist, as you weren’t about to go back on your word with Ghost, despite the new information you had. Soap had messaged you not too long ago, but you weren’t sure if you could talk to any of them without anger. You weren’t even really sure why you were angry at them. Price, Gaz, and Soap hadn’t actually done anything. They were just there the night of your transplant.

It was bad enough your mom and sister were there. You hated that they saw you like that, on the verge of death and needing a transplant. You hated that Ellie saw you like that. A chill passed by you and you set your book down, turning your app back on so you two could communicate somewhat.

You…okay…

“About as good as I can be in these circumstances” you answered.

Angry…me.

“You’re angry?”

No…you. Me.

“I’m still processing everything and I actually learned something else”.

What?

“Your friends were there that night”.

That took him by surprise. The guys were there? Why? Was it time? Were they coming to say goodbye? Did they still think that fondly of him at that point? He didn’t know what to say to that.

“Price called me, he left a message. I thought of calling him back, but I haven’t had the time and I don’t wanna run the risk of screaming at them. It was bad enough that my family saw me in that condition. I didn’t want your friends to be subject to it too”.

He wondered if they were actually there for him. It would make sense…

For…me…not…you.

“It’s possible. I just…I hate thinking of all those people’s eyes on me. I was sick, and I needed help. Not pity”.

You got help.

“I know but…I just have mixed feelings about it”

That didn’t answer his question though. You had been really tense with him as of late, and he wanted to know if perhaps he did something wrong.

Wrong?

“What?”

Something…wrong…I…did.

You sighed. “As I said, I just need time to process everything. I didn’t expect to get so tangled up in the military again. After my partner’s passing I didn’t want anything to do with it anymore. Now I’m caught in it forever. I just feel awkward around you now, it’s weird”.

Awkward?

You sighed and looked over at the end of the bed where you assumed he was sitting. It was now or never, and he had a right to know.

“You…Okay, I don’t want you to feel weird like I do, but I think it’s important” you got up and closed your door, careful to make sure you didn’t make too much noise as Ellie was about ready for bed by now.

With the door shut, you went back to the bed, heart hammering in your ribcage like a bird trying to get free. You weren’t sure how he was going to take this. Hell, YOU didn’t even know how to take this. It was so…bizarre and maybe wrong on some deep moral level. You weren’t sure. You opened your mouth to finally talk.

“When you touched me the other night…my chest and everything…” you were looking at your hands, trying to keep your palms from sweating, stifling the urge to pick at your arms, “You made me feel something. Some kind of way. I…haven’t felt anything like it since before my partner died”.

Uh oh…

Oh god…

No…no…no…

Red flags were going up in Ghost’s head. A voice in his mind, for once not his father’s, was screaming: “Go away, go back to the closet right bloody now and do NOT come out!”. This could not be going where he thought it was going. Even so, he couldn’t move. He wanted to, oh gods he wanted to, but something just held him in place. He was stuck in some kind of nightmare scenario and there was no getting out of it.

When he didn’t reply, you continued.

“Maybe I’m just crazy, or lonely or something…but…I liked it. I liked it…definitely more than I should have. I mean, I totally get it, you didn’t mean it in like a sexual kinda way, but…” your words failed, “Fuck…”.

An awkward silence hung between you. Simon had NO idea what to do or say. You actually liked that he touched you? And he definitely didn’t mean it in that sort of way, but it felt…nice. He hadn’t felt warmth like that in ages, softness in even longer a time. He didn’t find the action to be entirely unpleasant and you definitely didn’t either.

Weird and yet, it felt so right…in a strange way.

Simon snapped back to reality. No, this wasn’t some weird romance novel shit. This was actually happening and it was wrong. He was dead, you were alive. To wish for such things would be black mark on both of you. He would be holding you back. And you, if anyone ever found out, would be ostracized as a…well…was there a term for someone who wanted to sleep with ghosts?

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything. I feel so damn stupid” You shook your head and kept your gaze still on your hands, “I’m not a necrophiliac I swear…”

I know.

“It’s wrong. It’s so wrong…”.

Feel wrong?

“Feel wrong?”

Did…it…feel…wrong?

“Well no because you asked permission first. All I wanted to do was show you the scar, to show you what you did, in a way” you answered honestly, “And again, I know the intention behind it wasn’t-”

Again?

You stopped, stunned. Hell the question even took Simon off guard. But gods be damned he…he actually wanted to touch you again. As he had said before there were things he missed about being alive, warmth and softness being chief among them. A ghost's afterlife tended to be empty and cold. But you…you made him feel like he actually existed…

You were almost too stunned for words. “I…I think I’d like that…a lot”.

You felt a blast of cold over you as you laid back against the pillows, like he was moving on top of you. It was a heavy feeling, but not exactly physical. It was hard to describe. You felt the same chill softly bristle your cheek, like something was gently touching you. As odd a sensation it was you didn’t find it at all unpleasant. You drowned out the voice in your mind screaming that this was wrong and that you shouldn’t want this. But goddamn…did you ever want something so badly?

You felt both of his hands on your cheeks, your head moving seeming on its own accord. You felt almost hypnotized as the deathly cold traced your cheeks and down your face. Your heart hammered again inside you, your stomach was doing odd flips. You closed your eyes, something taking over you. Your lips felt suddenly cold and you just knew…you just knew.

Ghost was kissing you.

You were being kissed by a dead man.

A dead man whose heart beat in your chest.

Knowing this only seemed to heighten your senses as you felt his icy hands roam over your mostly bare arms. The straps to your simple cami fell to your shoulders as the kiss intensified. You seemed to meet those cold lips with the same intensity, closing your eyes as you felt your stomach go warm…and something further down started to ache. It had been so goddamn long…

When you opened your eyes, he was there, mask half up to reveal his graying skin and violet tinted lips. You weren’t afraid. You had never been afraid. And you sure as hell weren’t now.

“You alright lovey? Is this alright?” he asked, his eyes intense and his voice a little husky.

You let out a few quivering breaths before you answered. “This is fine. I’m okay. I promise”.

“Do you want me to take this off of you?” he asked, eyeing your cami shirt.

You felt your cheeks go warm as he asked, but you could only nod. Ghost took it as silent approval and moved his icy hands to your waist so he could pull the shirt up and over your head. Still ignoring that damn pesky voice, you raised your arms a little to let him pull it off. Your eyes found his as he flung it away and put his head to yours.

“Don’t you worry about a thing tonight love…I’ve got you” Simon kissed your head.

Something in you settled a little and you knew for certain that he was right. This was right…

Sorry guys but I'm not a smut writer, I leave that to the pros cause I sure as hell am not one. Maybe I'm a coward or maybe it's cause I'm on the ace spectrum. Who knows?

Anyway if you guys liked this part please feel free to like, comment, tag, and please reblog. I really appreciate it. I hope yall are having an awesome day and I'll hopefully be back soon ^.^ thank you for your patience!

[atonalginger]

WIP Wednesday

So today's WIP is a memory/flashback that will be sliced into an upcoming story Stowaway Savior, starring Ruby and Goose and introducing a new oc, Cooper Benbow. This memory is Cooper's and in his POV. When it's finally incorporated into the story it will probably be broken up so y'all get to see it in one piece here

Also it should be warned that there are spoilers for Starborn Saga in this sneak peek under the cut. In case you don't want to be spoiled on that fic *shrug*

--

The spacer stumbled back with a machete buried in their suit, visible streams of steam seeping from the rip as the frozen hellscape played bloody hell on the dying fool. Goose kicked the spacer back, unaware of the straggler sneaking up on him. Cooper took aim, slowly pushing all the air from his chest and holding as he pulled the trigger, watching the spacer’s helmet explode in a red vapor-spray, the deafening crack of his rifle ringing out into the crater seconds after the spacer laid dead behind his Crimson captain.

Goose spun around, his sidearm in hand, to see the dead straggler. He scanned his surroundings and then raised his arm up to where Cooper was perched. A chirp in Cooper’s ear lined up with Goose tapping his wrist controls, causing the pilot to smirk under his helmet. He opened the line before slinging his rifle onto his back, “howdy handsome.”

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Goose snapped back, a unexpected heat in his words.

“I got word from a tiny gemstone you were hunting vermin by your lonesome and might need some backup,” Cooper was making his way down the winding stairs, his footfalls echoing as they hit the creaking metal steps, “I thought we agreed you wouldn’t pull dangerous stunts like this again.”

“Ruby called you?” Goose wasn’t moving from his place, scanning the crater with anxious movements that were upsetting to watch.

“Yes, she did. She was worried about you but didn’t want to get your parents involved,” Cooper reached the bottom and strolled over to Goose, “what’s got you so jumpy?”

“You shouldn’t be out here!” Goose snapped his head back to Cooper, his visor hiding his face, though his intense green eyes could be felt all the same.

“Why not?” Cooper pressed.

“There are morphs out here,” Goose growled, “I came out here to liberate the stolen crates quickly but you being down here complicates that.”

“You landed in morph territory alone?” Cooper raised his voice, “and have the audacity to be mad at me?”

“It’s too dangerous for you to be down here!” Goose yelled.

“But not for you?” Cooper shouted back.

“I’m expendable, you’re not!” Goose yelled before whirling around and storming over to a hand loader stacked with sealed crates, “but since you’re here now, grab a fucking loader so we can get on a ship before the locals show up.”

Tears welled up in Cooper’s eyes, Goose’s words banging around in his skull. He wanted to grab the temperamental ginger, shake him to knock sense back into him but not here. He was right about one thing, it was too dangerous to stand around. He hurried over, grabbing the handle of the other hand loader, and started dragging it toward the Golden Squid.

Such a silly name for a ship and yet it fit Goose and his new pride and joy perfectly, the Hope11 docker like a beak and all the bumper legs the tentacles meant to grip her prey. And while the ship itself was black, all the radiators, piping, and attachments had a polished gold sheen. Goose was waiting deep in the loading bay, his sidearm reholstered and a rifle in hand, watching Cooper’s back for any angry locals.

Goose refused to talk more once they were safe on the ship, heading straight for his seat to drop Cooper off at the Stormherald. Just a noncommittal grunt of a ‘goodbye’ as they stood in the loading bay waiting for the ramp to lower. Cooper knew it wasn’t worth escalating here. Not right now. But he would get to the bottom of that outburst in the crater.

several hours later...

“Thanks for assisting out there,” Atomic said with a toothy grin, “always good to know the Freestar has a few captains out there willing to aid their allies.”

“I’m not a…” Cooper caught himself before fully correcting the Pirate Queen. He swallowed and adjusted his gun belt.

“Lieutenant, Captain, it all bleeds together up here,” Lila winked as she tapped her temple, “you have your own ship, making you a captain in my book. As well as the Fleet’s. Have you considered signing on, Lieutenant? Better hours, better pay, more fun.”

Cooper laughed nervously. He was never sure what to say when someone started trying to pull him into the Crimson Fleet.

Goose sighed next to him and gave his arm a backhanded tap, “come on, I’ll walk you to your ship before she starts the hard sell again.”

“We have plenty of boy scout types running with us these days,” Lila teased with her hands on her hips, “just remember the offer is there. We could always use a pilot like you.”

“I will,” Cooper nodded and followed close behind as he and Goose made their way back to the Stormherald.

Goose’s fingers briefly laced with his as they waited for a large traffic jam to clear in the markets and again near the visitor arm of docks. Cooper was flustered, two hours ago Goose was yelling at him, disparaging himself, and now he was sweetly caressing his hand like none of that happened. His stomach turned; he didn���t want to fight but it felt inevitable.

Goose had pressed further into the Stormherald while Cooper locked up the hatch. He heard him in the all-in-one moving things around on the counter, the sound of plates slacking and containers clicking into place. Is he straightening my ship?

Cooper walked into the all-in-one to see that Goose was in fact straightening the kitchen section of the hab, putting the clean dishes away properly and locking all the food containers back into place. He stood there blinking at the scene, trying to wrap his head around what the stubborn ginger was doing.

“I wanted to apologize,” Goose said, his back still to Cooper, “I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. You were there to help and while I had it mostly under control, you made everything move quicker. I’m sorry, Coop.”

“Why were you mad?” Cooper asked, “why did you say…you’re not expendable. Not in the slightest.”

“I was mad because I know you Freestar types,” Goose’s words were barely a whisper, his head hung low, “how quick you soldiers are to play hero and get your asses ripped apart my morphs for folks not worth it.”

“Ethan…” Cooper took a step forward, his hand held out to touch Goose’s arm.

“I still hear his screams sometimes, when the nightmares take root,” Goose shook his head, “he didn’t have to die there. He could have run, scrambled into the loading bay, but he didn’t. He stood there, facing a monster, and died for it.”

“Who?” Cooper winced at his question. It felt invading and nosy even if it was necessary.

Goose sighed, “A soldier that was traveling with Atomic when we met her. Fury was a decent guy who deserved better. He didn’t have to die for some punk kid.”

Cooper remembered that name. He was a green recruit, fresh off the farm, when Commander Shepard was reported dead from a terrormorph attack outside Akila City. Word was he was a damn hero, working side by side with pirates to liberate the city from outlaws and then sacrificed himself to save his crew from a UC xenoweapon attack. He’d never realized that Goose was apart of that crew.

“He wouldn’t think that,” Cooper said softly, “and I can think of at least a few people who would be devastated to hear you talk like this. To hear you call yourself expendable.”

“Every pirate in the fleet is expendable,” Goose stood a little straighter, “and I’m sure your COs would say the same about your soldiers.”

“I’m not talking about them,” Cooper was firmer, “Do you have any idea how lost I’d be without you? You aren’t expendable to me, dammit!”

He could see Goose’s jaw flex, setting into place.

“Ethan, look at me,” Cooper took his arm and forced the ginger to face him.

Goose’s eyes were turned to the ground, reddened and glassy. His cheeks were flush and his lips a thin line as he bit his lower lip. Cooper reached out and cupped Goose’s face in both hands, rubbing his thumbs across the rosy cheeks. He leaned in and kissed the line of lips, feeling his pirate stiffen his stance, locking up, as their lips met.

Cooper internally sighed and went to pull away when Goose’s hands seized his face, his lips pushing hard against Cooper’s, a passionate hunger overpowering both their senses. He leaned into Goose, pressing his body against his pirate, Goose’s hand slipping back into his hair and seizing a chunk while rocking back into Cooper.

[aroace-poly-show]

For hw ask game!!

👻 A headcanon about what scares them

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger

🥇 A headcanon about what they’re best at

💔 An angsty headcanon

under cut it is kinda long but TY FOR QUESTIONS YAYYY

fears: okay for an easy trait everyone shares we got the HASHTAG ABANDONMENT ISSUES 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 none of them are exempt. it’s really funny to me tbh. like ruis obvious but nene “if i’m not skilled enough i’ll be abandoned” kusanagi emu “if i’m too much and too persistent and childish i’ll annoy them too much and drive them away” otori tsukasa “i was left alone for much of my childhood but that totally didn’t have any lasting effects on me now :) no having an empty quiet house totally doesn’t bother me nuh uh” tenma

anyway. tsukasa is Stupid and isn’t self aware of it but he’s scared of not reaching the goals he sets for himself. like he’s got his high expectations of what he should be and not being able to do that fucks him up bad. also he doesn’t like silence.

emu is scared of losing things. like even minor things like a pretty bracelet or the pencil she uses the most like she gets Really distressed about it. smth smth she has had so much loss of things she holds so dearly that she holds onto everything she can and even minor loses hurt her

for nene and rui idk tbh. i’m considering fear of the dark for rui but aside from that idk. well i do know one more but that is in the anger section soooo

anger:

i had a thought about main story here but this does say like. headcanon. and not canon. soo. hmmmm. i might add on for nene and tsukasa another time cause i don’t got much rn tbh

emu isn’t the type to get angry very often i think? she likes to make people happy, and her being angry doesn’t achieve that. i mean she gets upset at herself but like outside of that. not a really angry person?

something about rui being scared of being angry. like he does get angry sometimes. he gets upset at how they’ve been treated, nene mostly, but the feeling of being angry is one that he hates bc the last time he was mad at someone (albeit rightfully so) he ruined so so much so he hates feeling angry. hashtag projection

what they’re best at: aside from canon talents ruis really good at video games now, nene is even more stacked it’s insane. but rui only has nene to compare to so he thinks he’s like average at games. emu is good at memorization and really good at arts and crafts stuff. tsukasa is good at sewing.

angsty headcanon: keri you are a masochist you want MORE ANGST????? /silly

anyway tsukasa always gets a little nervous when people are late for stuff cause he gets worried. emu has a few versions of the phoenix wonderland park maps with old attractions she misses and memorabilia from said attractions stored away in a special box ay the wonder stage. nene has had a few times where she had to take breaks from vocaloid tuning bc she gets really jealous she can’t sing and she gets so embarrassed by herself everytime because it’s a literal no sentient software program, how pathetic can she be. rui will sometimes hurt himself doing robot stuff and then leave the wound unattended for a little longer than he should bc he has normal feelings about him deserving to hurt.

[meraki-yao]

So, this fandom we're in is kinda on the smaller side, not like Heartstopper, which is a whole different level of drama. But you know, each bit of drama we get here stays kinda contained; it doesn't really blow up and go all mainstream.

What I've noticed is most of the fans are way younger than the actors, and that makes their social media vibe totally different. Like, they expect Taylor and Nick to act the same way, thinking a follow or a like means something major. But, I'm a bit older than Nick, and we're from the same generation. We didn't overshare like they do, but now fans expect him to be all out there. He's not 22 anymore. And the mental health convo around him it's another topic I feel most fans didn't really understand. Yeah, he's open about it, but the way he deals with anxiety or depression now is not the same as everyone else. Feels like they're kinda babying him a bit. Case in point, the GQ event he left early. He did look a bit nervous, but trying to ease their minds with an explanation of why he left early (because "he was anxious") didn't sit right with me. Because it's a possibility, but we don't know how he actually feels. Like, he might've been in a rush, or it was a last-minute attendance thing because he has commitments with Fendi, and he just left. Like, he's not really an open book, even if he's easy to read. So trying to use his own mental health felt wrong in that situation.

Honestly, it's pretty simple—they've changed. They're keeping things more private, maybe it's got something to do with management, but I don't think it's a rebrand. I'm with you on that one.

Both Taylor and Nick blew up, got people interested in them, and that's crazy overwhelming to see from the outside. Like, imagine people digging into your private life, asking you to spill all the tea, and giving explanations when you really don't have to. It's just exhausting. Case in point, some fans got "upset" (and I'm using quotes because it was mostly jokes, but their humor crosses a lot of lines) 'cause Nick has to promote other stuff and, if he doesn't attend events, he's letting them down. Some folks tried to tell them it's not on Nick, it's Amazon they should be mad at. But no, that group just shrugs that off. Just 'cause Nick's humor is dark, silly and sarcastic doesn't mean they can do the same in such an invasive way.

I follow a couple of girls on TW who've been following Nick for ages, and they say he usually takes these long breaks from social media, then drops a bunch of pics or covers. I think he's trying to find some balance.

Overall, most of the drama happens 'cause some people lack common sense, real-life experience, and there's this big age gap between the actors, the author, and the fandom. Just the way it is, I guess.

I'm not entirely sure about the comment on the age range because the mutual I interact with are pretty much well into their adulthood, but at least I belong to the category you mentioned: I'm about ten years younger than Nick lmao

But like overall, I agree with what you said. We're not them. We don't actually know them. And aside from the obvious ones like they will be upset to some degree if they see insults thrown at them, I'm starting to think it's problematic to presume we know what they think. I had this from another ask that said "I think people diminish what the boys are doing, and pit them against each other because neither is doing what they want." And I think that rings true.

Parasocial relationships are weird man.

[selinascatnip]

Pearls for Dickkory and lace for batcat

Already did the Pearls in the last post!

So...

Lace - Trying to make a long time fantasy come true. 

“Selina?” he turned the light on. “What are you doing in my garage?” He was trying to work upstairs when he caught a glimpse of her alluring silhouette on the CCTV. Curious since no car had left the Wayne Estate, and she usually paid him a visit before taking one of his belongings without asking. After a while, she showed no sign of going away, nor coming upstairs. She was moving normally when he saw her on the CCTV, but maybe there was something wrong? 

Heart racing, he raced downstair. 

The car Alfred gave him for his birthday bleeped as the door unlocked, Bruce didn’t lose time, what if she was hurt, what if he didn’t pay attention and she had crawled into his car and was so weak that all she could do to get his attention was pressing a button, what if- 

She was sitting on the passenger's sit, her legs stretched upwards and resting on the dashboard, a bored expression on her face. Not a wound or sign of anything wrong that he could see. 

“Finally, it just took you forever.” 

He opened the door and sat down on the driver’s sit. 

“What is wrong?” 

Selina rose a pretty eyebrow. 

“Why do you think there’s something wrong?” 

“Well-” 

She didn’t wait for an answer, pulling him by the flap of his turtleneck kissing him out of the blue. 

Granted, it wasn’t their first kiss, not even in that week, but still... He did understand that considering that the medium Gothamite was mad a hatter (not confound with The Mad Hatter, not all Gothamites were that mad or that evil), and their social circle tended to deviate to the side of the curve that lead to the Arkham Asylum... His... Selina could try to make sense sometimes, maybe it would help them to fight less, or at least maybe would help him to feel that he was about to have a heart attack in the ripe old age of 28 less often.  

They should talk about that. 

That and if she was his girlfriend now they were sleeping together, but he’d bet his entire inheritance that such conversation would cause a fight and maybe a real heart attack. 

So maybe not. 

He tried to pull her to his lap, but she pulled away and tried to drag him down with her with one hand while the other fumbled around her own sit. 

“’Lina, what you’re doing?” 

“How do I get this thing to go lower?” 

“Let me,” She smiled pleased and laced her arms around his neck, forcing him to lean against her face as her backrest slid down until it hit the back sit. 

“Oh,” she pouted, “you are too big now.” 

Indeed, if she expected him to fit over her, the laws of physics had something so say against it. 

“Why did you get so damn big?!” 

She hit his shoulder angrily and Bruce returned to his sit, his back cracking with relief. 

“Are you really mad about it? I thought you liked how big I got,” she usually praised him about it when he was using his new advantageous size to pin her down and fuck her against a rooftop, or pull her up and fuck her against the shelves of his library, or... Well, she liked it, mostly, it seems. 

“But you don’t fit.” 

“We could go upstairs...” 

“Don’t wanna go upstairs, tsc,” she was really upset. Bruce frowned. 

“Selina...” 

She sighed. 

“Do you remember that day, just after you got this stupid car, not long before you dropped the Billionaire Brat bullshit?” 

“Yes, I do recall, but I don’t unders-” 

“You never understand, Bruce.” 

“You can try explain.” 

“I’m trying! It’s just...” 

She blushed. 

Well, that wasn’t a sight one see everyday. Bruce bit his lips so she wouldn’t see him holding a smile and flee, and this time, when he tried to pull her to his lap, she complied. 

Bruce kissed her forehead, and her nose, and her lips, his hands gently kneading her backside. 

“Hey, you know you can tell me anything...” 

She scoffed. 

“It’s silly, you will laugh.” 

“I’d never laugh of you.” 

She leaned forward and giggle against his chest. 

“Too bad, I love laughing of you.” 

He snorted and took one hand to her hair, it was so long now. 

“Oh, I know.” 

“You didn’t kiss me.” 

“Love, I just did,” and he pointed that out by kissing her again, pulling her pouty bottom lip with his teeth before releasing her again. 

“No,” she whined, playing with the curls falling on his forehead, “before, when we were kids. I thought you were about to kiss me, but you didn’t.” 

“Hummm” he made, “I wanted to kiss you. Selina,” Bruce said honestly, “always, you know I have been crazy about you since forever.” 

She rose her gaze to his. 

“Why didn’t you kiss me, then?” 

“Because I had just got you to speak me again,” he bopped her nose and then kept his finger going down her throat, the valley of her breasts, his whole hand skimming under the fabric and cupping one of her mounds, bringing it out and watching in marvel as her dusty pink nibble perked, “and I didn’t want to make you mad or start a fight...” 

“Coward,” she whispered rocking slowly and thrusting her chest to his face, begging without words for him to touch her. 

Bruce looked at her through his eyelashes, his mouth just a few inches from her nipple. 

“What?” 

She giggled again, but her mirth turned into a moan as he buried his face on her chest, breathing her in and sucking the skin of the base of her breast. 

“So,” he blew at the forming hickey to sooth the abused skin, “this is all about that time?” 

“Kind of...” She breathed, and took his hand to her still covered breast, urging him to give it equal treatment. 

“Kind of?” he insisted to her clear annoyance. 

“Yes, it is about that time, I have been fantasying about you ravaging me on that sit since we were ridiculous teens, satisfied?” 

He smiled and rocked upwards against her making her curse under her breath. 

“Both of us are about to be.” 

[valravn72]

Finally going to make one of these because I have been pushing this back for too long, sorry about the shit formatting

You can call me Crow or Val (/vɑl/). My pronouns are they/it and wire/wires/wired/wiredself as well as wyre/wyres/wyred/wyredself.

I’m a White nonreligious Jew tme nonbinary transwhatever and an autistic spoonie with primarily obsessive compulsive disorder, hEDS, POTS, adhd, dpdr and an essential tremor.

I’m also a digital artist and I’m into coding but I am self conscious so posts of my work might be rare/nonexistent.

I am currently a minor (though not for long) SFW INTERACTION ONLY PLEASEEE THANK YOU!!

Main interests and post subjects:

MY BRAIN JUST INSTALLED THE YUGIOH AUTISM UPDATE LETS GO

Disability rights

Vocaloid/V Synth/UTAU music (pafl, thab, tptm, Endless Empty Dream, etc.)

Splatoon

Kingdom Hearts (be patient I have this autism so ancient in me /ref)

YNFGs (shout out to ynoproject.net)

Ludonarratives and games in general

Magical girls

Sparklecare

The Magnus Archives

Digital art

Web nostalgia, old new media, indie webdev stuff

Sonic / Sonic idw

Houseki No Kuni

Black Dresses

Digital music composition

Rpgmaker Horror (OFF, Hello Charlotte, ynfgs, Oneshot, etc.)

Webcomics and zines

Free online educational resources etc.

DNI

DNI means you are not welcome here, screw off, and don’t be confused when you get blocked.

I don’t want to hear any whining about people wanting the internet to be a safe space and how [insert ableist word here] they are. I think it’s more embarrassing how upset you are over people setting boundaries.

Zionists, MAPs and proMAPs, transmeds, fakeclaimers, terfs, swerfs, transracials, institutionalization supporters, anti psych critical/anti anti psych, believe microlabels are biphobic (pan, queer, etc), biphobes, xenogenderphobic, colorist, ethnocentrist, xenophobic, Islamophobic, antisemetic, think disabled/neurodivergent/mad people should not have a shared community/culture, acephobic/exclusionary/infantilizing, support ethnostates, aba supporters, think hijabs are oppressive, believe in any sort of eugenics (curing disabled people, racist shit, anything that would happen in the movie Gattaca which you all definitely misinterpreted), use slurs you cannot reclaim, “narcissistic abuse” survivors and other cluster b bigots, saneist/psychophobic/madphobic assholes, meritocracy believers, transmisogynists and chasers, fatphobes/fat fetishists. Also guro blogs? That fetishize self harm? Why is this something I need to say why has this been an issue.

Fandom DNIs (These are subject to expansion in the future):

Noncritical DNI

Def: You can interact as long as you understand that your media is problematic/harmful and you can reclaim it or at least don’t endorse it. If you’re an apologist or are in any way complicit in the harm caused by the content (monetary support, spread of its message, downplaying its victims) I don’t want to hear from you.

Danganronpa, dbh, bna, Homestuck, mcu, Omori, FLCL, probably more I just can’t think of stuff

DNI NO MATTER WHAT

South park, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Hetalia, Countryhumans, Harry Potter, Supernatural, ANYONE WHO THINKS CHAR AZNABLE IS A LIKEABLE CHARACTER YES THIS HAS COME UP NUMEROUS TIMES, Axel and Roxas shippers (seems like a stupid thing to include but this has also come up multiple times! I hate it here!), dsmp, killing stalking, probably more I just haven’t thought of it yet

PLEASE INTERACT WITH ME :3 (silly non serious section)

Other queer and disabled people, Kingdom Hearts fans (who aren’t creeps), self diagnosed autistics, mad pride folks, anyone with a neocities site, zine contributors, vocal synth fans, people who make stimboards, fellow filehoarders, have a kitty that you are willing to send pictures of, Temnova simps (I think you’re funny), geology special interest havers, blinkie hoarders, people with acceptable opinions on cereal <- (certified milk first asshole), Teto lovers, Azumanga fans who post funny pictures of Osaka, genuine Ao Oni fans (I need to study you), 999 + SEQUELS FANS, people who post their daw stuff online you guys are so cooolllll

I am bad at being active and am working on tagging things well!! (and also actually. posting stuff.) If you need any tags pleaseeee ask it is no problem. I’ll probably make this intro cooler soon as well I am just soooo sleepy and I get frustrated with Tumblr lol

RECOMMEND ME FREEWARE BOSS!!!!!!

[somatheking]

for @prosopagn0sis. In spirit of the event hosted by the mad hare tomorrow, I made this for us. it's a wonderland AU.

The King of Hearts stares at the woman chained beside him, blond hair and eyes grey as the Frabjuous Sea. She has a very sharp jawline, he notices, and he adds it to the list of sharp objects that are running across his head. Unmei's jawline. A beheading axe. An executioner's sword. Mira's tongue, sometimes, when she felt like it. 

And she certainly had felt like it lately. So many beheadings. It hadn't been a surprise to find someone else occupying the cell Mira shoved him in whenever he had to stand trial, though he hadn't expected to find someone like Unmei there. 

Strong, determined. Talking about things like they mattered, something called 'Mordor Gentamicin Feels' and the Cheshire cat. Very insistent on the Cheshire cat, actually. The King of Hearts had tried explaining to her that talking cats were a dozen a dime but she hadn't budged. Cheshire, Cheshire, Cheshire. And a Hospital, whatever that was, and an absentee father. He can't understand half of the things she says, though this explains why she's here in the first place; she's being put on trial for making too much Sense. 

Sense is a rare thing to happen across in Wonderland, but it's so easy to trap that whenever a smidge of it is spotted, the Wonderland residents hunt it for sport; chasing it down and cheering when they manage to do so, quickly getting rid of the carcass it leaves behind. However, too much Sense could upset Wonderland's ecosystem, so it had been intelligent of Mira to stop Unmei before she created too much of it, though something tells him this girl isn't going to stay dead. 

"Is it your first time getting beheaded?" he asks, rattling the chains that hold him. Not for any reason, but because there's nothing much to do down here other than talk, and that's been proven to be difficult with such a girl full of Sense, and rattle his chains every once in a while. It felt like a good moment to do so. 

"It's my eighth one," he continues, proudly. "So I know a natural when I see them, and you, my dear, look like you're gonna be fine,” assures the King of Hearts, winking at the girl. “You don't strike me as someone who gets stage fright. Me, on the other hand, I was terrified! Good Lord, kept thinking over and over about whether I had pretty blood. Never stopped to consider whether my blood was pretty or not until then, when it was too late to do anything about it. No one complained, though, and it was splattered all across the platform, so I guess people must've found it quite nice." 

He tapped his fingers on the floor, rhythmically. Unmei wasn't saying anything; why wasn't she saying anything? Looking at him with big eyes like she was waiting for him to dig his own grave; silly of her, given how she should already know by now he was being executed. 

"I’ve been over this so many times, you know,” he says, trying to offer comfort even as a sob wracks his chest. She’s going to be fine, she’ll be able to stand more than eight beheadings. “If I had a name, I don't remember, and if I had a heart, it stopped being mine." Trampled behind Mira’s heel, or tucked away in a hidden corner of the White Queen’s castle, or stuck in an endless tea party at the March Hare’s house. 

The chains rattle again, though this time the King of Hearts isn’t aware of it; he’s much more focused on the bloody fingerprints he leaves every time he touches his white shirt and how his body feels equal parts small and big. Too big to fit inside this suffocating cell, too small to deem himself anything other than an observing party, as if none of this was happening to him. Maybe this was a dream and he was still sleeping in his room at the Red Queen’s castle, or… or maybe he was sleeping in the White Queen’s arms, though, no, that couldn’t be it because that’s what had caused this whole mess, hadn’t it? The fact that time and time again he kept making the same mistake and getting caught again, and of course, nothing happened to the White Queen for consorting with Mira’s husband, what with treaties and all, and thank God it didn’t, no, he could not complain about that! But eight beheadings were one too many beheadings, and to top it all, here comes this Unmei person claiming there was something called Mordor Gentamicin Feels which… no, he wasn’t going to entertain that thought. It sounded full of Sense, and the King of Hearts didn’t want more charges to be added to him before his trial. 

"I feel like I'm losing it, really," he confides, wondering whether she might've been able to tell already. "Though I didn't expect this to happen on the eighth beheading. Maybe the twelfth? Could've sworn I had at least a couple more beheadings in me." 

"And what I'm trying to say young lady, because you have to understand how important this is, is that it's mostly It's fault for losing itself, and there was nothing I could do to stop It, so maybe if you manage to get out of here do make sure to tie It down with a rope, big knot and all, to ensure It doesn't get lost again and with It, your head. But if It does break loose like It sometimes does, just know that nothing is your fault; not the whole thing with your father and not however your story with Cheshire goes.”

He thinks of the White Castle, of the scent of the lilies and white roses. How he rested his head on the White Queen’s lap as she read out loud for the both of them and threaded her fingers through his hair, soft and warm, a stark contrast to the cold, hard and sticky platform Mira used to execute him from time to time. Maybe, if he loses It definitely, and ends up leaving more than his heart behind, he can find a new body in one of the flowers of the White Queen’s garden. One day she’d pick him up, gently squeezing the stem that kept him chained to the ground, to free him and carry him in her palms inside the castle so he can wither away while looking at her. The White Queen. Someone worth losing his sanity over. 

“I don’t want the White Queen to think she’s only worth seven beheadings, though. It’s just this stupid body of mine that won’t allow for more. I don’t want to stop, but it’s telling me to. My own body, trying to command me! My brain, failing me! And—and I don’t want to!” he says, even as his voice breaks and his breathing quickens. His hands are probably shaking too, but he’s decided he’s not on speaking terms with his body until it becomes more cooperative, and therefore, he won’t give it the pleasure of acknowledging it. “I wouldn’t lie to you, you know how the saying goes, jailbirds of the same feather…” he realises he’s the one that does not know how the saying goes, and hurriedly adds “something together. But I don’t want to quit.” 

Surprisingly, this is what makes Unmei the Sense Maker open her mouth again and speak. Perhaps she’s been hearing his thoughts this whole time, or perhaps he’s accidentally been saying them out loud, because she seems empathetic, as if she’s familiar with the sentiment the King of Hearts can’t put into words. Perhaps she dreads a similar ending than the one she can see in front of her right now, perhaps the King of Hearts’ pathetic disposition has moved something within her; whatever the reason, where he expected scorn or another rant about Mordor Gentamicin Feels, she says: 

"You can fail, that's okay. It's the best you can do under the circumstances."

[st4rchildd]

OKAY SO AM REALLY EEPY AND I JUST WOKE UP FROM A SOUL ACCENDING NAP AND I GOT SOME EDGY HEADCANON LET ME TALK MAH SHIT 🤍

okay so connie accidentally calls her mom pearl and pearl mom sometimes which was fine by them it's no biggie but here's the thing :

steven started getting a little jealous of connie because he hears her call pearl mom sometimes and pearl would treat it like a normal occurance but when once steven also slipped up and called pearl mom before, that made her cry so he started being more careful not to call her that because he thought he upset her so he didn't

understand why was she so normal about it when connie said it and not when he says it because after all she was the one to raise HIM she lives with HIM and if she's a mother in anyway possible than she's HIS mom and was very upset about the whole situation he literally didn't speak to connie for a week even when they trained so connie was like "dude wtf you're like my only friend wth happened" so she tryied to talk to him about it and he went FERAL like just full on mental break down about how he didn't understand why would she be upset with him but not with her for calling her mom and how he's starting to become not important to pearl and that connie was stealing his place (which of course wasn't true but the guy literally needs constant reassurance that he's loved or else he won't know that) so connie had to assure him that that was not true and was like "okay bud if you don't want me calling her that i won't just don't be mad at me okay ?" and started being more careful not to call pearl mom, at least not infront of steven, which is a change pearl happened to notice and was like "hey connie you didn't call me mom for a while what's up with that" and connie had to explain to her that steven got upset because she did so and that he doesn't think it's fair that it upsets you that he calls you that but when i do it it's absolutely fine which was actually shocking to pearl because she wasn't upset with steven when he called her mom she was too happy that he did so she cryied of joy and steven misunderstood that and thought that she was upset over it, she didn't immediately talk to steven about it but made a mental note to do so

some times later pearl got a call from steven to come pick him up cause he got in trouble with something, nothing serious he isn't in danger it's just that the situation required someone older to come get him and that he'll explain when she gets there so of course she did that when she arrived there she found out that steven kicked an asshat's butt and this person's parent was mad and determined to make steven apologize to their child and maybe even get to speak to his guardian which in this case happened to be pearl

as the entitled parent angrily explained everything and demanded that steven apologized pearl said

“yeah listen ma'am, i understand your frustration but steven is not apologizing for doing the right thing and standing up to others, if anything you should be the one who's trying to talk her child out of being a horrible person”

“HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT WHOEVER YOU MIGHT BE, am assuming not one of his parents concidering he addressed you by name on the phone earlier”

“well i actually happen to be his mother, and MY SON IS NOT APOLOGIZING FOR DOING WHAT'S RIGHT, STEVEN LET'S GO AM DONE SPEAKING WITH THIS- person...”

thoughts on this silly thing i randomly thought about I'll make more if y'all like these <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>

[chifuyusfingers]

Tokyo Revenger boy's Reaction to you hide that you’re in the Hospital from them, and they find out.

_Mikey | Baji | Chifuyu | Kokonoi | Mitsuya | Sanzu | Shinichiro | Izana | kazutora | Kukucho | Ran | Rindo | Inui_

M i k e y

Mikey would be on a warpath once he found out you were in the hospital.

But when you woke up, he had worn himself out from being angry.

You would wait for him to wake up, and when he did he would be startled to see you awake.

He would ask you so many questions: “You’re awake? Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere? Do you want me to get a doctor?” Mikey wouldn’t express anger directly at you until after you were discharged.

But he would stay with you as much as he could, and would hardly get any sleep because he was so worried about your well being (even though you weren’t going to stay for that long).

C h i f u y u

Chifuyu would be extremely worried about you. He noticed you were a little sick lately, so when he heard you were in the hospital,

it was a worst case come true. He would instantly go to the hospital and would pick a fight with anyone who tried to deny him entry to visit you. You would wake up and he would be sitting with his head in his hands.

When he noticed you it was instant fretting over you. When you assured him you were fine and that it was something minor, he would sigh and lean back in his chair.

“You think I care that this is something minor? I care that you are here in the hospital and I knew nothing about it! Tell me if you aren’t feeling well and we come here together! But please… Don’t hide this from me.” Chifuyu may get a bit emotional and would tear up.

You would have to soothe him and promise to tell him. He would stay with you in the hospital for the day you had left there, and wouldn’t sleep– both from worrying about you and to make sure you were sleeping alright.

B a j i

Baji would be sitting on the edge of the bed staring at you when you woke up.

His number one concern would be how you were feeling and if you were in any pain. You assured him that it was nothing serious, and he just didn’t seem satisfied with your answer.

“If it was nothing serious, then you could have told me about it. Even if it was something serious, I would like to know this sort of thing. Your health is important to me, so please don’t hide this from me. I think I almost passed out from the shock.”

You would apologize to Baji and said you didn’t want to bother him. “It would bother me so much more if I didn’t know until after the fact!”

You would apologize and acknowledge your mistake. Baji would visit whenever he could find time, and more often than not he would bring you a snack or two in when he came.

K a z u t o r a

Kazutora is the type who would be a bit restless when he arrived. When you woke up he would be asking the doctors what was wrong with you.

When he noticed you were awake, he would direct all of his questions to you. Any attempt to calm him down wouldn’t go well at all.

You would have to talk him down from his anger, and once he was no longer angry, all that was left was worry for you. “How could you not tell me you weren’t feeling well? Why didn’t I tell you to go to the hospital?”

You would have to assure Kazutora that things like this happened and it was your fault for not checking yourself in sooner. “That really doesn’t make me feel better… Nothing will make me feel better until you get to get out of here.”

You would have to mess with Kazutora in order for him to finally crack a smile, albeit a small one. Kazutora would keep you company for the day or two you had to stay in the hospital. He would argue with the doctors if they tried to kick him out, and if they succeeded he would simply sneak back in later.

Shinichiro

Shinichiro would be crying when you woke up. When he heard your voice, he would instantly race to your side as if it was the end of the world.

He would hug you and you would have to repeat over and over how it wasn’t as bad as it may look.

He wouldn’t say much but would try to listen to you. Shin wouldn’t have to say much to you for you to understand that he was deeply hurt, by your decision to not tell him.

He would wear that on his sleeve. Once he stopped crying, he was relieved that it was nothing major and felt silly for crying so much. You would feel bad and promise to tell him how you were feeling truthfully from now on.

He would pick you when you were discharged and wouldn’t leave your side the entire day. “I want to make sure your a hundred percent.”

M i t s u y a

Mitsuya would be silently reading when you woke up. He would glance at you and continue to read his book.

You could feel the anger steaming off of him and were too scared to say anything at first. He scared you out of your skin when he asked, “Well? Aren’t you going to say anything?” You would begin to apologize for not telling him about the hospital, and he would seem slightly confused.

“Oh… I guess I should be upset about that too…” You’d ask why he was upset if not for that reason, and he would say he was mad at himself. He should have forced you to come to the hospital the instance you were sick.

You’d insist it wasn’t his fault, but he would continue. “No, it was my mistake for not saying what I thought. So I think I’ll have to be much more forward with you from now on.” It sounded scary to you. Mitsuya essentially would come when he could, and would give you the silent treatment for the next several days to come.

S a n z u

Sanzu is much more stubborn. I feel like he would be tempted to visit you a lot, but he would be too angry to do it.

You weren’t willing to tell him that you were in the hospital to begin with, so why should he visit you? He would find himself standing outside the door, unable to enter.

In the end, he would call you from outside the door and scold you over the phone. “Next time, we can go to the hospital together… Just please don’t do this ever again.” Sanzu would believe that you didn’t trust him enough to tell him this, and you apologized if you came off that way.

You would say that you knew he would panic, and that would cause him to open the door and argue with you in person. You would laugh as he scolded you. He would stay with you and glare at you every once in a while. He would also help you when you were discharged.

K a k u c h o

Kakucho is very lost when he finds the news. He doesn’t know what to do when he sees you in the hospital bed and is just lost.

He seems out of it till he hears your voice. He comes back to life and yells your name. He asks you several questions and if you didn’t answer him right away, then he would hit the button that summons a doctor to answer them.

He would cause chaos in his own caring way, and you would have to scold him for causing disarray at a hospital.

Leading him to scold you for hiding this from both of you. Essentially, the remainder of your visit would become a bickering fest between you two with no clear resolution other than your discharge.

From then on, if you so much as sneezed in front of Kukucho he would grab his coat and drag you to the hospital to get it checked out.

I n u i

Inui was concerned about your health before the hospital, but once he heard you were in there? He was in full on mothering mode.

He would bring you food and nag at you to eat and take care of yourself the entire time. He wouldn’t touch much on the fact that you hid the truth from him, and would be so much more concerned about your well being. That said, once you were healthy, prepare for an earful from Inui.

“You can’t just wait until you’re about to pass out to go to the hospital!! That’s crazy talk!” Inui would now give you a look whenever you coughed in front of him, a look that read: “If we go through what we did last time, I swear I’ll go insane–”

I z a n a

Izana would fight a lot of people. Since he came in angry, the hospital was reluctant to let them in.

The doctors would tell him he had to do something, he wasn’t going to be happy go lucky doing it. He was fuming just sitting beside you in the hospital. You’d expect that he would direct that anger at you once you woke up, right? Wrong.

He would actually be caring at first and ask about how this happened and how you felt at the moment.

But once all of those “formalities” were out of the way, then he would direct that anger at you. “How could you hide it until you are in the hospital!? Do you know how worried sick I was to hear about this? Don’t ever do this sort of thing again!” Izana would always turn a little serious from then on when he saw you and asked how you were doing.

R a n

Ran is in full on nag mode when he finds out you are in the hospital. You don’t have to be awake for him to start nagging.

The instance he opens your hospital door and sees you asleep, he would start nagging. “I swear to GOD, you must be out of your mind if you thought you could hide this from me forever! AH! So help me when you wake up I swear I’m going to give you an earful, just you WAIT!” Essentially, Ran would hype himself up so much that when you finally did wake up, he wouldn’t have much to say. So? He would play it off as if he was angry and shove a tangerine at you.

“Here! Eat IT!” Ran would sincerely worry about you and help you at discharge, and would take you to hospital upon hearing a single cough.

R i n d o

Rindo is another one to be silently angry when you first wake up.

He would ask you how you were feeling, and you’d say you were fine. “Is this the truth, or am I going to turn around and find out you really aren’t?” You would feel guilty and apologize.

This is one of the few times that Rindo would seriously scold you. It truly hurt him when he had to find out from his brother that you had wound up in the hospital. After you were discharged, Rindo would be lost in his own thoughts. It would take a little while, but he’d be back to normal if you gave him some time.

K o k o n o i

Koko wouldn’t really know what to do. He would be angry at you and himself, worried about your well being, and concerned with how you would feel seeing him.

He had all these thoughts going through his head as he waited for you to wake up. When you did, he wanted to be tough and stand by himself.

You shouldn’t have hid it from him. But he was just so relieved that you were okay that his facade melted away almost instantly. He just so glad to see you okay and well and that it was nothing major. Koko would realize a lot from worrying about you– like how much he cares about you and your well being.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[voiidlizrd]

I definitely see Gojo, Gojo and Geto as people that wouldn't take their SO's anger seriously. How about when that blows up in their face and SO starts crying instead because they feel like theyre being taken as a joke

Thank you for the ask Anon! ❤️ I haven’t gotten far into Jujutsu Kaisen so Geto’s personality and I don’t want to mess this one up, so I’ll do Gojo for now. But, later in the future, I might add onto this!

⚠️❗️Warning: Slight angst, G*jo, other than that it’s mostly fluff, spoiler warning?, reader takes a slap at Gojo but infinity⚠️❗️

Gojo is a good guy, really, but he doesn’t know when to shut his mouth sometimes. Let’s say you messed up a little on a mission. Nothing too seriously to cause anyone to get hurt, but only a small thing that was silly and definitely hurt your pride a bit. Gojo took this as an opportunity to tease you relentlessly!

“I was crying when I saw you trip trying to summon your Domain Expansion!” He giggled to himself. This wasn’t all that bad, it was just a silly teasing comment that didn’t mean he thought less of you! You knew that but…

But it still hurt really bad. It made you mad at him and yourself. You tried to laugh it off but each comment of how you literally slipped up during a domain expansion, one you’ve been practicing for months and ready to use and so confident you would succeed. It was a blow to your self esteem. You worked so hard and yet you screwed it up over this. You wanted to prove to Gojo, a man who’s more powerful than any clan has seen, that you were powerful too. And you fucked it up.

“A-And the look on your face!” Gojo’s laughter increased while you two walked through the pathway to the campus grounds. He looked ready to collapse on the ground and writhe with tears coming from underneath his eye mask. He snorted.

“Yeah. Ha ha.” You said gritting through your teeth.

“Aww cmon!” He chuckled, throwing an arm over your shoulder and pulling you close. “You gotta admit it was pretty funny. Your Domain Expansion name should be ‘Domain Slip!’”

It was stupid, just a stupid joke, you told yourself. It doesn’t mean anything.

You tried to convince yourself desperately not to get mad at him. He was just joking around and making light hearted fun. Right?

He must think you’re such a joke. That’s why he’s saying all these things. He knew you’d fuck up so he could save you, just like he’s done time and time again. You’re just a rookie compared to him. Nothing more than that. You were no different from his students; dumb and couldn’t do anything right, could you?

Tears welled up in your eyes as you clenched your fists, your anger boiling even hotter than it was before. His laughing didn’t make it any better. He really thought you were stupid. You roughly shrugged his shoulder off from you, speeding up as you walked away from Gojo. His laughter had died down into calls of your name, asking what’s wrong, and trying to keep up with you. It wasn’t hard, he was pretty tall, which irritated you even more.

“Hey, you okay?” Gojo asked with a wary smile, trying to keep up beside you.

“No. I’m perfectly fine.” You sniffled, bitting a sob. “Just. Peachy. Keep on making fun of me, it’s soooo funny! I absolutely adore it!”

Gojo got in front of you. “Woah woah woah, slow down…”

You pushed past him. “I need to get back to the campus. I’ll meet you there.”

“Oh no no no.” Gojo grabbed your hand gently. “You gotta talk to me. That’s what you gotta do as a couple right?”

“Gojo. You literally wouldn’t care. It’s stupid.”

“Not if it’s making you cry… I may be a jerk sometimes but I don’t like you crying.”

“It’s just-“ you inhaled deeply, trying to wipe your face of the tears, but more keep coming. You hunched into yourself, trying to make yourself smaller. “It’s just I was working so hard on my expansion. I wanted to kinda show it off to you… But then I slipped and you started making fun of me and… I dunno. It’s stupid. You were just kidding, I know you don’t mean to hurt me or make me upset, but it’s like a slap in the face after I worked so hard…”

Gojo was quiet for a moment before pulling you in for a soft hug. You let out a sigh, your frustration melting away in his arms. You still were upset, but less than before. You reluctantly hugged him back.

“Sorry, I was just jokin’ around. Im proud of you, you did work really hard. Hell, you barely even slept most days. Seriously, you’re way stronger than any of those old farts that call themselves Higher Ups.”

You giggled at his childishness. He grinned, happy to get you to smile. “I’m serious! You could probably kick their asses without curse energy!”

“Yeah I probably could.” You mumbled to him. “You’re still a big jerk though.”

“Yeahh… I’m sorry. The Great Gojo Satoru is sorry and promises to do your laundry for a month.”

“Really? Awesome! Thanks Gojo!”

“…wait I was kidding?”

“Nope! You made your promise already, oh great Gojo Satoru!”

“Fiiiiinnnneeee…. I deserve it anyways.”

———————————————

I am so sorry for not posting in forever, I kinda stopped writing on Tumblr. I now have a Quotev and A03 account that I’m most active on! I’ll leave the links here.

I’m currently in the works of a Creepypasta fanfic on my Quotev and an Undertale fanfic on my A03. Thank you for the support on Tumblr, but support me on Quotev and A03 where you can get more content! Thank you! :)

Quotev: https://www.quotev.com/voidlizard

A03: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonely_ed

[jarofstyles]

hey besties, pls do a football player Harry (soccer in case ur american lol) and physical therapist y/n !!

I know absolute shit all about football (soccer bc we are American) but we can give it a go!!! Plz don’t be mad I don’t know anything about it cause it’s ✨make believe ✨

If you like this, check out our Patreon!

—-

He was a little shit.

A beautiful, charming, irritating, little shit.

When Y/N has signed on for this team, being the medic was something she had been passionate about for years. Having her own accident and making it so she couldn’t properly play anymore, it was her mission to still be involved in the game so how. Y/N’s own injury and healing process had her become more and more interested in the profession, and here she was.

It wasn’t everything she had dreamed of, as nothing ever was, but it was good. She got to sit field-side every game, close to the action. And every injury she got first look at. She helped the guys with their stretches, their previous injuries and keeping them from Re-injuring themselves, taking care of them and making sure their physical shape was the best it could be.

In general? She was happy. But there was one man who was a thorn in her side and a pain in her crotch.

Harry Styles.

The man who decided it was his personal mission to follow her around like a puppy dog. Popping up in her singular moments of peace during game day. Texting her and asking about very, very small twists of ankles and giving her the ‘🥺 maybe you should come and look at it…’ whenever he did so.

Not to mention his complete and utter want to get into her pants.

Now it wasn’t as if she couldn’t handle a few sexual jokes. Y/N was a big girl and knew 99% of the time, the guys on the team knew their limit. And Harry? Harry, in reality, was a gentleman. Never touched her inappropriately, ever. But the problem was… she kind of wanted him to.

There was no actual clause against staff members and players being together or hooking up. Nope, just frowned upon. Maybe a slap on the wrist. However Y/N knew, she knew that the moment anyone caught wind of her potential affections for any team member or acting on it? It would end with everyone thinking she slept with them to get the job.

Y/N worked long and hard. Tireless hours for make sure these men were healthy, fit, and at their best. She wouldn’t sleep with anyone for any job, and she was actually respected by this team which was something a lot of women weren’t in this field. She could not and would not throw it away for a good dicking.

Fuck, did she want to sometimes.

—-

Harry had these hands. The perfect hands, in her opinion. Big, strong with thinner fingers. Long fingers. A good sized palm, not overly veiny, just perfection in male hand scales. Luckily (or unluckily, whatever way you’d put it) she got to handle them often.

“S’sore today, doc.” He winced, sitting on the table in front of her. Harry’s wrist throbbed. It was rainy, and it was usually a wreck when it was the perfect condition. The ache was annoying, and he knew she had a solution.

Her lips pouted softly as she gently took the hand in place, thumbing over the part of the wrist where rhe injury had occurred. She had learned a while ago where to press, how to rub and get it to lessen before she wrapped it up. “Yeah… old injuries tend to never let you forget.” She sighed, pushing her glasses up into her hair.

Harry never could get over how fucking gorgeous Y/N was. From her nose to her lips, the pretty sparkle in her eye, the curve of her hip… he was obsessed. Not to mention the fact that she was so gentle with him. So kind and sweet, though he knew he got on her nerves with his teasing sometime. She could handle it and he always tried to watch to make sure he wasn’t going too far, but he couldn’t help it.

He was a silly boy with a bit fat crush.

Y/N didn’t bite for any of them. Everyone had attempted when she first came on, testing the waters. Her pretty face was welcome to all the blokes in the team, and there was something incredibly attractive about a woman who could heal. Nonetheless, she never gave in to anything.

In Harry’s case, he knew it was different. He could see her smile at some jokes, see her get the bumps on her skin when he brushed her a certain way. But she avoided the eye contact. Avoided the touches. And it drove him mad.

Of course she wouldn’t know he had actual feelings for him because he was a giant coward most of the time. He hid his affection in the dirty jokes and the teasing squeezes of her waist and teasing. He was a thick skinned man but a full rejection form her would hurt.

Her soft fingers gently massaged over the wrist, making him groan. His head tilted back and he let it out, hissing slightly when she pressed too hard. “Oooh, don’t worry sweetheart. Y’know I like it to hurt a little.” His wide smirk made her roll her eyes huffing under her breath.

Y/N was not having a great day. She had been harassed by an Ex all fucking night over her new job. Making all the damn assumptions that she was getting ‘trained by the team’ in a much more vulgar way, and she had cried half the night. To say she wasn’t in the mood was an understatement, but she was trying.

Harry was not what she needed today, because it made her feel worse. Her blatant attraction to him made her feel guilty. She should be professional and leave it with. The way she had squeeze her legs tighter while he groaned didn’t help her case. The ugly words of how they’ only kept her around for a potential fuck’ was ringing in her head.

Harry though, he was a little oblivious. Her hands were so talented, and he didn’t watch her face for once as she hit a good spot again and he let out another remark.

“Jesus, that’s good. Do those magic hands work everywhere?”

That was the straw that broke her. It wasn’t his fault necessarily, he was just playing. But her eyes watered, hand yanking away as she turned from him, walking over to the bench. Trying to compose herself was hard as the tears burned so hard in her eyes, hands shaking slightly.

Harry startled, not used to that. She never flinched away like that, never ignored his remark and walked away. Usually told him to fuck off, rolled her eyes, something. But the energy in the room immediately shifted and he was uncomfortable. What had happened?

Cautiously, he cleared his throat and stood up from the bench, licking over his dry lips as he spoke again. “Uh… Y/N?”

“S’all I’m good for, right?” She muttered under her breath. Frantically wiping under her eyes she tried to focus on the paper in front of her but she could feel Harry approaching.

He furrowed his brow, not sure if he heard correctly. “Wha-“

Y/N whipped around fast, eyes teary and wet. “I said, that’s all I’m good for right? Only good for my hands and sex and all that pleasure you can get from me?” She hissed. “Only good for a romp in the sheets and a pretty face to heal your wounds and put on band aids. Only good to make you get off and feel good and then what? I’m left here with nothing.”

The tears left her, her hands shaking as she grabbed her bag. Harry felt his stomach drop. Never, ever had he wanted to make her feel like that. Her crying? That wasn’t something he ever wanted to see again. He felt like he had taken a ball to the gut, hard. Those eyes he adored being full of pain, full of tears was his own personal hell.

“Y/N… wait, I’m so sorry, I didn’t-“ he tried to follow her to the door, stopping abruptly when she lifted a hand up to him. Her stomping had made him nervous. Now she was leaving without talking to him and he felt like a complete dick. It was their normal teasing, but he had crossed a line.

“Don’t. Just…. Just leave me alone. I’m going home.”

—-

As much as Harry had wanted to chase after her, he had already made her cry once. He wasn’t risking it again.

The icky, gross feeling in his stomach followed him all day. He was gutted. Not only has he apparently crossed a line with someone he respected, he had a fucking crush on her. The man was convinced no other feeling was worse than a crush being angry at him. Even if it sounded juvenile to place it like that.

Harry liked Y/N. He never ever wanted to make her upset in any capacity, let alone feeling like a sex object or violated. He prided himself on respecting women. And he had fucking failed. He needed to make it right, and fast.

-

He had found her address. In her employee file, and he knew that was bad but he needed to check on her. Regardless of what happened beforehand, she was upset by him enough to leave and go home and he wanted to make sure she was genuinely okay.

It was an overstep and Harry knew it. He had to try, though.

He arrived at her door step with a box of cupcakes and some flowers. Gently kicking the floor, he heard the door open and his heart broke a little more.

Y/N standing in front of him with swollen eyes. She had been crying, seemingly a lot. And she looked upset still. Though he expected her to close the door in his face and tell him to fuck off. But she didn’t.

Instead, she broke into tears again, throwing herself into his chest. Her arms wrapping around his waist, he nearly tumbled over but righted himself as he startled. Quickly he found himself recovering, wrapping his free arm around her and holding her. He was able to maneuver slightly and drop the cupcakes on her entry table, flowers as well before having his arms free.

“Hey…. Sweetheart, what’s the matter?” He whispered softly, gently placing a hand on her back. Rubbing it up and down, letting her cry into his tee shirt. It was worrying. Whatever happened was beyond him, but he wasn’t going to let that take away from the fact he had added and made it worse.

“I’m sorry.” Her muffled response was sobbed into his shirt. “I’m sorry for yelling… and saying you thought those things, you were playing and I…” she pulled back worth tear streaked cheeks and Harry’s look of pure concern making her lip wobble. “You didn’t do it. It was… he kept sayin’ that all the team wants is in my pants, and you make me feel guilty because you’re so…. Beautiful, and I never slept with anyone to get this job! Never. And then he wouldn’t leave me alone-“ she hiccuped, looking up at Harry as he caressed the back of her head.

“Who, lovely? Who wouldn’t leave you alone?” He asked with a calm tone. Of course he wasn’t. Someone was harassing her. And Harry would fucking take care of it. It boiled his blood to think of someone making her feel less than.

“My ex.” She sniffled again, slowly calming. Harry had that quality, she thinks. “He-He broke up with me for taking the job. Said… said that I was going to be a personal whore for all of you. And not do my job.” She took a shuddery breath. It was embarrassing admitting this to him, but he had been on the receiving end for a meltdown that wasn’t his to fix.

“Well, can I tell you something?” He brought his thumb up to wipe away some of the sticky tears from her cheeks. “You arent. You’re no one’s whore. You’re a respected, talented and intelligent member of our staff. You so happen to be incredibly beautiful, which obviously makes people find you more bewitching… but I know that we all look at you as a professional talent. They may have tried their luck at the beginning but you laid down the law quickly and they all understood.” He whispered.

“Me? I was trying my luck, because you’re incredible. And I think you’re lovely. But that isn’t a conversation for now. Let’s make some tea, hm? Relax. I brought you some cupcakes. I need to properly apologize for being inappropriate to you. Regardless if it was a joke…”

—

He sat next to her on her couch. The poor girl was better now, washing her face and a mug of tea in hand while Harry had helped himself to a vase and put the flowers inside. Carnations. He thought they were pretty, didn’t know the name until Y/N had fawned over them.

“I’m sorry for freaking out on you.” She said softly, her big sweatshirt swallowing her up. Before Harry could interrupt, she put a finger up. “I know that you were just playing, Harry. I let you flirt with me like that. And I enjoy it.” She could feel herself get warm in the face. “If you’ve noticed, I let you get away with it. I enjoy it. And you didn’t do anything out of line. I was sensitive… I was still raw and I hadn’t had much sleep because he had blown up my phone and regardless he was telling me things he said in person over and over again. So…” Y/N shifted in her seat and used her sweater paws to bring the drink to her lips. “When you came in… I felt guilty for finding you attractive. For liking what you said to me.”

Harry sat for a moment, quiet. So she had liked it…. And felt guilty. Now knowing the context? It made sense. For the life of him he was trying not to hold in to the fact that she enjoyed it, but he couldn’t. It made him excited.

“Okay. That makes sense. Usually.. I do a better job at reading your physical cues. Sometimes I can see something isn’t the right thing to say because you’re tense already. But I was in my own world cause you were making the pain go away and I felt good. It isn’t an excuse, though.” He gently grabbed her hand once she set down her warm tee, thumbing over the knuckles.

“I felt like such a dick. I still do. You know that? And it isn’t because I’m attracted to you. But it’s because I didn’t think about the position I’m putting you in by flirting.” He moved a little closer. “I would never try and jeopardize your job. I’ve been blinded by my own feelings for a while and I was trying to feel it out but I didn’t think to think it was because someone else or a group of people would look down at you for it.” He frowned.

It was so unfair. They wouldn’t care if he slept with her. But they’d ridicule her for sleeping with him.

“I just want to let you know now as well… I wasn’t trying to come on to you to have a hookup.” He hummed. “The feelings I’ve got are genuine. Alright? They aren’t just too get into your pants. And I never want you to feel as though that’s your only purpose. Ever. You have so much worth, and while I’m positive you don’t need me to tell you that, I want tok anyways.”

He was unreal. She really thinks so. How did a man just… be like him. He was a fan favorite and had charm but behind the scenes he was even better than anything they said.

“Yeah. I think I was afraid. Because… I’m the same, you know?” She shyly admitted. “You’re charming and I didn’t want to admit I let your charm get to me, but it has. It has very much. And I like you. I don’t know what to do about it, but I think it’s only fair I admit it myself as well when you’ve put yourself out on the line.”

Harry’s grin grew, dimples pocketing in his cheeks. She liked him back. His heart was ringing in his ears, the shy little look into her eyes making him want to explode. Fucking adorable girl making him feel such intense emotions…. It was incredible.

Thank god. He thought he was going insane.

“We don’t have to do anything in the sense of our job right now. But since we both know… would you want to explore it? I would say privately. Just get to know each other better. Talk. Hang out. Cook food together… maybe kiss.” He smirked slightly at the end, making her let out a laugh. Her laugh soothed his Damn soul.

“I think I’d like that.”

——

Part II maybe? Who knows