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#what after all is there that they don't forbid
acotarxreader · 3 days
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Shadow and Flame pt 2
Azriel X Reader
Warnings: Angst, mentions of burns
A/N: thank you for making me feel so welcomed into this realm of fanfiction. Requests are also open. I'm writing part 3 as we speak.
Part One
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A month had passed since that encounter, wreaking havoc on Azriels mind. Feyre redrew you once Lucien bolted away, the drawing now rarely separated from Azriels pocket. Lucien had dodged the Inner Circle for the majority of the month, only giving audiences to the High Lord and Lady in strict confidence and on the condition that they wouldn't mention his outburst.
Lucien left such a meeting in River House late one evening, balancing a tall stack of notes as he strode down the pathway. A scarred hand met the side of the papers dead on, sending them fluttering all over the garden.
“Azriel! For fuck sake, uncalled for!” Lucien stooped to gather the papers that laid in arms reach, Azriels boot landing square on top of a stack. 
“Who is she Lucien?”
“I don't know what you're talking about” he batted the boot back, gathering what he could and snapping a finger at the rest, all of them stacking themselves neatly at his feet again.
“Yes you do” Azriel seethed, kicking the stacked papers back again.
“Seriously Azriel, these are confidential!”
“Just like that female it would seem” Lucien sighed in reply to him
“I just…it's just not important who she is, trust m-” Azriels loud clear laugh cut across him. 
“Lucien please don't make such ridiculous statements, I have no trust in you” Azriels tone switched almost eerily to cold again. Lucien thought to himself that statement was precisely why he wouldn't tell him who you were. They had no trust. 
“You do not want to spend time on this female, she will never be yours or anyone's, I -”
“Ah so a failed courting with another Fae is the source of your silence?” Lucien glared at Azriel as if to explode his mind with his one russet eye. 
“Rich coming from you Shadowsinger” Azriel couldn't help himself, he shoved Lucien back where he stood for his comments before catching hold of his jacket and hauling him forward to him again. 
“Who is she?” He gritted out between his teeth.
“She's not Elain and that's what still matters to you deep down” Azriel dropped Lucien's collar in almost shock at his boldness, a smugness grew across Lucien's face. 
“Now if you'll excuse me Shadowsinger, I have to pay someone a visit” he snapped his fingers once again, the papers folding in on one another into a neat cube, easily fit inside his jacket pocket.
“So not only do you know who she is, you know where she is” heat radiated from Azriel.
“Information for those who trust me it seems” Lucien left with a wide grin, enjoying the upper hand on the Illyrian, winnowing out before he could be caught again by him. 
***************
You lounged across the deep amber sofa of your study, a book of maps weighing heavy on your lap. Your eyes landed on a blank northern territory you knew to be Valeris, a small smile growing on your face as you traced it with your finger. 
“Y/N!” Your body almost vibrated as Luciens voice echoed through the door. You were mentally cursing yourself as you rushed to tidy your books.
“Yes Luc” you batted your eyelashes at him after opening the door of the study allowing him in.
“Don't Luc me! Care to tell me where you've been?” he slammed the door behind him.
“I don't care to tell you that at all” you slowly sank back into the sofa, his russet eye cutting into you. 
“Y/N, I know where you've been and that you were seen”
“A minor inconvenience” 
“The Shadowsinger is not a minor inconvenience, he's infatuated with you”
“He is?” You feigned school girl excitement at the idea of it even though deep down you didn't believe all of the acting was fake. Lucien paced in front of you almost frantically.
“Luc, you worry yourself grey, I have no intention of being seen again”
“Good, I forbid it”
“You forbid it?” You raised an eyebrow, a hand going to your hip as you stood again.
“Yes, you are not to go to Velaris, you are not to be around the Night Court or its members and you are to stay here in Autumn where you don't cause me headaches” he dug deep into his temple trying to calm his energy back to earth. 
“Careful, you're beginning to sound like Father” he huffed out at this, throwing himself down on the sofa, eyes landing on the vast maps before him. Stars littered across the topography, all indications of where you had visited. He buried the sad smile growing on his face, the places you had gone that you never thought you'd see, the freedom his sacrifices had afforded you. 
“And hide these, Father will have you married off to the next fool he sees if he sees these travels” you scoffed, rolling the map up and sending it away in controlled flames. 
“He'll have me married off soon regardless of these, I might as well get it over with now”
“Nonsense YN, he is preoccupied with our wonderful siblings coming for his throat. I will keep you from that as long as I can” your face softened, you knew he didn't believe his own words so how could you. 
The only daughter of the Court of Autumn, a hushed away kept secret to everyone but those who lived and worked in the manor, a pawn for later use. A secret weapon as your father referred to you. 
“Eris will free me when he is High Lord, he has sworn, he is just waiting for the correct moment he tells me….as I rot here” you sighed, moving to the window of the study, the colours of Autumn painting the scene in front of you. 
“I will be the one to save you-”
“YOU HAVE LEFT ME! TWICE! I do not trust your words, they only have sway in your precious Spring and Night Court” you whipped around to your brother, closing the distance once again as he stood in reaction, your small flames dancing around your feet ready to bite. 
“YN-”
“No, go now, run along to your freedom while I steal away moments in flame. You've issued your ultimatum, run along Emissary” you said it like the swear it was to you. Enough you had had enough, vanishing into flame leaving your brother to his own thoughts once again. 
*****
Azriel sat atop a mountain's rocky ground, looking down at Valeris, taking a deep drink from his canteen, instantly refilling itself again with cold water. His eyes sinking in on themselves, world-weary from his hunt for you. He expanded past Valeris and deep into the Night Court and beyond with no avail. He had begun to believe it was all an illusion. The chill of the growing night encapsulated him as he struck a match off the bottom of his shoe and threw it into some dried wood of a long forgotten fire pit. He had come here so often before with his brother's before their mates entered the scene. Night after night under the stars talking and fighting and messing around, a time lost to his youth now. A chill ran through his wings as he turned his back to the fire, splaying them to bask in the heat as he deeply exhaled releasing weeks of stress from his lungs. 
“Nice wings bat boy” Azriel leapt up to his feet with eye watering speed, his wings once again safely tucked in as he span in warrior stance to the voice behind him. You put your hands up in truce giving a small laugh at the sight of him, trying to not let your breath hitch at the pure beauty of him in flame light. 
“You”
“Me” you smiled at his wide eyes. 
“How did you get here, why are you here?” 
“Always the questions with you Shadowsinger, I heard you're infatuated with me, wanted to make your evening and as for how I got here, I don't feel like divulging that just yet to you” you smiled. His eyes fixated on you, as if afraid to blink because you'd disappear. You didn't know this is where you would land when you jumped into flame earlier. You just wanted somewhere safe. Your brother's words had sent your blood boiling. 
You stalked around the fire pit, watching the flames leap up to meet your ankles, wishing to feel at home with you as you gave an empathetic smile to them. You kicked in some more kindling gently and it burst as if in thanks to you. 
“I am not infatuated with you” Azriel spoke slowly and unsure of himself, a strange feeling for him. He watched you move back again from the fire pit as if to turn and go again.
“Okay then maybe Ill just g-”
“No!” He cut across too eager and mentally cursed himself out for showing his cards. You gave a small laugh to him, your eyes dipping to the fire and back to find him gone from the spot.
“You're not the only one that can move with ease” he came suddenly next to you with a grin, startling you slightly. 
“Ah yes your famous moves, known all over” your heart fluttered slightly at his close proximity, widening his grin. Maybe this was a mistake, ever so slight panic rising in you.
“Don't go, you have that look in your eye again” his words caught you off guard, was he in your head? You didn't think that a power he possessed. 
“I go where I please” 
“So it seems” his face glowed in the flame, almost beckoning you in closer to him. Mere inches from touching, Azriels skin felt alight with fire. Who were you? Why wouldn't you tell him? 
“Tell me your name” 
“I already told that I'd have to kill you then”
“Then so be it” his scared hand caught hold of your wrist, sending alarm bells through you mind. Go go go they screamed. You glanced quickly at the flame, Azriel again seemingly reading your mind, mapping your movement. He grabbed the canteen on his hip and doused the fire out, it's hissing like screaming in your ears. You jolted back from him in almost anger. You were trapped on this mountain with the infamous Shadowsinger, revered for his ruthlessness and yet you felt as though he wouldn't hurt you as you were both plunged into darkness of the woods.
“Now, tell me your name and I'll relight it” 
“Fine, I'm tiring of this game, it's Y-”
“YN!!!” Your head whipped around in the direction of pure male rage coming from the woods behind you. Any and all ounce of ease drained along with the colour in your face. You looked at the doused fire for any semblance of remaining flame to find it snuffed out. Azriel couldn't hide his alarm and disgust at the way the male said such a beautiful name in such a disgusting way.
“Go Azriel quick!”
“No!” You shoved him back at his protest, the shouting males voice growing in volume at the closing in proximity.
“Who is that!?” He watched the fear in your copper eyes come to life before you reached for his hand, pulling him down deep into the woods. He dug his heels deep into the softened moss stopping you dead in your tracks.
“I do not run from confrontation Y….YN” you loved the way your name sounded from him, soft and delicate, almost loved, almost giving new meaning to your name. 
“Please Azriel, he'll kill me if he finds me here, especially with you” 
“No one will harm you while you're with me-”
“It's when I'm not with you that he'll hurt me” you couldnt hide the tremble in your voice, Azriels eyes softened, the shouting of your name echoing through the woods filling the space. 
“Come with me” Lucien winnowed from seemingly nowhere alongside the two of you giving you both a fright, annoyance and haste written across his face. You instinctively dropped Azriels hand, he instantly missed you there, he replaced your hand with Truth Teller, angled at Lucien.
“She goes no where without me” he bit.
“We don't have time for this Azriel. Come YN, I felt your terror-”
“How?” Azriel cut across him, fears raising, had they a bond? Had Lucien two mates he thought. The thought sent his anger building.
Fire flowed through the trees, burning through a patch towards the three of you. You felt ill at the sight of your Father's flames. 
“Meet me at the townhouse Azriel, we can discuss this little rendezvous there, she comes with me” his harsh tone cut into Azriel before Lucien caught you roughly and tried to winnow away. 
“Azriel, go, I'll be okay with Lucien” Azriel hated the sight, the feelings of uselessness but your tone of self assuredness gave him some comfort.
“Fine but she ends up hurt Emissary and you'll never feel more regret in your life” he bit, dissolving into shadow. 
“Lucien, we have to split up. You know he'll be harder on me if youre with me, go!” You shoved him and to your surprise he listened, winnowing out as your father approached. He left you again, he would always leave you. 
An idea coming to you at the sight of your father's flames finally catching up to you. You dived. Dived into the crucifying pain of this flame, your portal out. Normally comfort was found by you in fire but not this flame, it split through you, trying to strangle you as you made your way through its thick thorn like tendrils. 
You didn't know where it was bringing you, pulling against it to not go where it wanted you. This fire was not your friend, this fire was there to smother you. You needed out. Out. Out. You reached through its molasses like texture for any way but the way it tried to drag you.
Your body landed with a thud on the steps alongside the lanterns that lit the garden path. Your flesh cracked and split along every inch. You were seized with pain, no idea if you had avoided risk or fallen into somewhere worse. A blood curdling screech made its way through your damaged ears. Elain screamed blue murder from the mouth of the garden, dropping her water can to splash everywhere, it's soothing waters not quite making it to you. You only remember the feeling of soothing scarred frantic hands reaching for you. Then darkness. 
-----------------------
Let me know what you think :D
Part 3
Tag: @sunshineangel-reads @skylarkalchemist @tele86
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manicpixiefelix · 3 days
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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}
Part 22.
Summary: After mostly resolving your issues regarding Oliver and Venetia, it's much easier to enjoy the time leading up to the dinner with the Henrys. Still, Oliver seems more than a little nervous to be around you and Felix, much to Felix's ongoing chagrin. He wonders how long it will take for Oliver to take the hint.
{ masterpost }
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.
A/N: 3044 words. oh yeah, its all coming together. :) i know the last few updates have been kind of spaced out, so i'd love to get some feedback from you lovely folks about how you think it's coming along now that we're in the back half.
TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
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One day - probably one day soon - you'd have to tell Felix the truth about Oliver and Venetia. By that time, you reasoned, you'd have come up with a way to say it that would make him see why you hadn't called Oliver out for lying, and why you'd kept it from him. His gut reaction, like your own, was to immediately jump to the worst possible, malevolent conclusion. Based on past events, it was a sound conclusion to jump to. But Oliver's not Eddie. It was a moment of weakness, and Oliver really does love Felix. Somehow you'd find a way to make this painless, perhaps even a way to show how much Oliver cared, because that's what you'd seen, that's the why behind your own deception.
Except Felix wasn't even ready to admit out loud to himself, let alone you, or god forbid Oliver, that he genuinely felt that way about him. Even if he definitely, clearly did. But again, past heartbreak makes some of his trepidation far more excusable.
At least you have a distraction for the afternoon - not Oliver, no, he would never be so bold in direct sunlight as to do anything more than make out with you on the pool lounge. No, this distraction wasn't a particularly good one.
The NDA from your parents, sitting in your study.
Part of you knows you should probably have a lawyer look over this, but there was something about the idea of involving yet another person in your parents ongoing attempts to abandoned you that left a sour taste in your mouth. So that left you to look over it all on your own. The sticky-hot afternoon in the study wears thin on your nerves, but irritation was all that ever came of it, not upset or disappointment. Reconciling with Oliver probably had quite a bit to do with it.
Dinner is a welcome reprieve. When Oliver smiles at you across the table, there's a weight that's lifted from your shoulders are you smile back. Felix too is in notably high spirits, though he's decidedly not talking to Venetia; his parents don't seem to mind, however, as long as he's happier than when he'd started the day.
"Is there anything planned for after dinner?" Oliver asked, eyes wide and earnest as he looks around the table, all present sharing an equally confused look as if one of them may have planned something all the others had forgotten.
"Not as far as I'm aware," Sir James offers after a moment.
"Tomorrow will be quite the busy night," Elspeth elaborates with ease, "I'm sure we'd all like to conserve our energy."
"Last chance to cancel dinner with the Henrys," Felix says, already knowing it's not a real option, even after Elspeth chides him for the suggestion, that they'd already had all the food brought and extra help hired.
"Has the seating chart been organised yet?" You asked hopefully, to which Elspeth smiled when her gaze landed upon you, assuring you she'd finalised it that afternoon, turning only to remind Duncan to have it delivered to your study that evening.
"You'll be seated next to Henry of Suffolk, dear," she also tells you, and immediately you're filing that information away in the back of your mind. Henry of Suffolk, partner at Richmond & Suffolk Legal; his late wife was named Clarice, he had a daughter and son a few years younger than you... their names escaped you at that moment.
Beside you, Felix is shamelessly admiring you.
"What?" You ducked your head to try and hide your embarrassed grin.
"Just watching your mind work," he teased with a laugh which had you rolling your eyes with fond exasperation.
"So you can see the cogs too then?" Venetia giggles across the table, though Farleigh chimes in before Felix has the chance to give his sister a look.
"Surprised there's not steam coming out of their ears."
"I'm not a robot," you insisted, flustered by the attention and their combined teasing.
"Just your beautiful brain then," Oliver adds fondly, and out of sheer surprise you look up to meet his endeared gaze as he looks back at you. When had he been let in on that particular joke, you wondered? Something in the back of your mind is sure that it was Venetia, after all, she was the one who most often referred to your 'robot brain' as such, but you don't have it in you to be upset. You never do at these jokes, even though you may occasionally protest about them, they're always intended as a compliment.
And there's no way you could be mad with Oliver looking at you like that.
Dinner continues on with very little fuss after that, and you return to your study feeling much lighter than you had before. Felix joins you, complaining about how you'd spent all afternoon in here, and he couldn't bare to think of you spend all evening alone in here too. Of course he knows that Oliver will more than likely join you when it gets late enough, but he's brought a book, and has quietly claimed the sofa beneath the window for himself. These nights have never been uncommon, but this Summer has seemed especially busy at Saltburn, so you more than welcome his quiet company as the day's heat slowly burns away.
It's not long before there's someone approaching your door.
"It's Duncan," you say, mostly for Felix's benefit, before the butler himself knocks and you invite him in.
"The seating arrangements for tomorrow night's event, Captain," Duncan says graciously, giving you the faintest smile as he hands the document over and turns swiftly on his heel, practically evaporating into the darkness of the house silently.
"Still have no idea how you do that," Felix sounds rather impressed from where he's draped himself over the sofa.
"Do what?" You asked distractedly, examining the seating chart in the golden glow of the lamp.
"How you know exactly who's coming and going without even seeing them."
"Duncan was just being courteous for me," you mutter off-handily, "if I'd heard nothing before he'd knocked, I'd still know it was him."
"You know that's even more impressive, right?" Felix laughs, and finally you turn to him, only to see him watching you like he can't quite believe what you're saying. Sometimes you find yourself surprised by the Cattons, and how little they seem to understand or appreciate about the Estate on which they live.
"No, what's impressive is that I can tell what kind of mood your in half the time just by the sound of your footsteps," you tells him with a grin.
"Now you're lying," Felix snorts, shaking his head. But you continue.
"No, seriously Fi, it's not always entirely accurate, but it's pretty close; I'm not quite there with the rest of your family, but I think I know you well enough."
"That's like, stalker levels of dedication," but his smile is bright in the light of the moon, and his tone turns teasing, "do you have a thing for me or something?"
"I wouldn't go that far," you huffed a laugh, playing along with the bit.
"Shame," he sighed dramatically, "I was really hoping you did, 'cos I kind of have a thing for you."
"I wouldn't if I were you," finally standing, you sauntered over to him, smirking as he beamed up at you, thoroughly pleased by this silly little bit, "that sounds like a scandal waiting to happen."
"Call the tabloids then," Felix laughed softly as he welcomed you into his arms.
"Any stalker-like tendencies of yours I should be worried about?" You asked, settling against him, leaning into him.
"Yeah, I've got a bunch of your things in my room," Felix murmurs right before you kiss him, grinning as you do so. Things devolve from there to the two of you making out in the moonlight, giggling together, teasing nonsense passed back and forth as the moon rose higher in the sky.
"Ollie's at the door," you see fit to finally tell Felix, who looks down at you with wide, surprised eyes. Sheepishly you admit, "he's been there for like five minutes." It's getting terribly late, but you really don't want to go bed right now, or go anywhere that isn't here, in this moment. Felix snorts a laugh, face scrunching up with something close to embarrassment; he knows letting Oliver get away with this kind of thing is part of the game you're all playing, but it still catches him off guard with just how aware you were of the whole situation.
"Ollie," Felix called out, and you both heard a him start behind the study door, "Christ, mate, don't linger," he insists, righting both him and yourself to something more respectable on the sofa, but still insisting on holding you close, "come in already." You're practically in his lap.
Like a deer in the headlights, looking absolutely mortified at being caught out, Oliver pushes the door open and faintly apologises, telling you both he didn't want to interrupt.
"Interrupt what?" Felix says far too easily, smile wide and a bit coy, "nothing to interrupt," though you can hear it for what it is; nothing you, Oliver, could ever interrupt if you simply asked to join. How long would it take Oliver to realise this, you wondered; Felix is getting less subtle by the day.
"I was going to ask -" Oliver pauses, focus stolen by the way Felix presses a kiss to your shoulder, before his gaze returns to your face, your expectant smile. Felix knows exactly what he's doing, "um, was going to ask about the seats for the dinner tomorrow?" Oliver manages, "I don't... know the Henrys?"
As you stand, Felix lets out a loud, disappointed sigh, but lets you go, returning to his book. Every movement, every sound Felix makes captivates Oliver in this moment, and both you and Felix are more than aware of this. Still, you swan over to your desk, looking over the seating chart before you usher Oliver over.
"They've got you next to Ven and Lady Daphne," you show him, pointing out his place along the table, "she's Henry's wife," you add wryly, and hear Felix bark a laugh behind you. Oliver, for a moment, seems confused, gaze flicking between you both.
"Aren't all the -?"
"That's the joke, Ollie," you tell him, but he still seems too nervous to properly see the humour in it, just making a faint noise of understanding in the back of his throat. "Did you want to hang out for a bit?" You offered, "this contract's doing my head in," you flicked at the thick contract on your desk dismissively, "so I'm probably going to get stuck into something lighter, but you know we always love your company."
"Thanks, but, uh," Oliver hesitated, looking to Felix again, "I think I'm gonna turn in for the night."
"Okay," you say sunnily, leaning over to give him a quick peck on the lips, which seems to startle him, "hope you sleep well, Ollie."
"Yeah," Oliver still seems to be reeling from the brief show of affection, "you too."
"Good night, mate," Felix offers with a cheery wave.
"You going to kiss me good night too?" Oliver sounds almost dazed, and suddenly looks mortified once more, like he can't quite believe he'd said that. Felix, unphased, stands and makes his way over to you both.
"Sure," he seems to take the suggestion in stride, kissing the top of Oliver's head before he bends to quickly kiss him on the lips. For a moment after Felix has pulled back, Oliver's look at him like he's staring at the sun, and Felix is wearing a sharp, knowing smile, "'night, Ollie," he says, quieter this time.
"G'night, Felix," Oliver murmurs, making his way to the door as Felix nonchalantly reaches to take the seating chart from your hand to look it over for himself. You, however, watch Oliver go, feeling both helpless and amused all at once.
"You think if I fuck him he'll take the hint?" Felix asks quietly once the door was shut, and you'd both heard Oliver's door squeak closed for the night.
"Do you think if you fuck him you'll take the hint," you asked disbelievingly, "that man is so into you, Fi," you hissed, almost furiously wide-eyed as you looked up at him. As always, Felix responds dismissively.
"Told you I'm not saying anything until he does," Felix puts the document down, choosing instead to drape his arms over your shoulders, "we can fuck around all Summer for all I care, but you know I'm not going to hold my breath for things to get more serious unless he tells me."
"He just asked you to kiss him, Felix!"
"I wasn't in love with you when we first kissed."
"Bad example; yes you were."
"Okay, bad example, yes I was," Felix admits with a faint flush, "but for the record, I didn't think I was at the time; we were twelve," he regains his composure quickly, "but it's not like you're in love with Farleigh or my sister; yeah, I know you love them, but you're not in love with them."
"That's different, Fi, we've been fucking around since forever," you sighed, resting your head against him for a moment.
"It's not different," Felix insists, "I just-" but he paused, and when you chance a look up at him, his face is scrunched up, like he's on the verge of admitting something he really doesn't want to, "I don't want to be getting my hopes up if it's just fucking around with Ollie, you know?" It comes out far more frustrated than you'd anticipated, and though you pat his back comfortingly, you can't help but add -
"He drank your bathwater."
"He fucking watched me get myself off and didn't even do anything about it until after it happened! And not even with me!" Felix points out, sounding almost like a petulant child, "I left the fucking door open and everything!" He's pouting now, actually pouting.
"He probably thinks that if he's too forward he'll scare you off, or your parents will kick him out or something," you tried to reason with him, to which Felix groaned.
"But they won't! You saw how much they loved Eddie, fucking hell," he huffed, stepping back, now wearing a scowl. Where had this night turned to something unfortunate? "Mum would throw a fucking parade if I got a boyfriend who wasn't a cheating dickhead."
"You should tell Oliver that," you pointed out frankly, "or at the very least tell him the truth about things with Eddie, so he knows that you do more than just fuck around with pretty boys."
Everything suddenly goes very still.
"What?" There's no frown, no anger anywhere on Felix's face, just pure surprise, "do you think he thinks that?" You watch Felix re-evaluate the entire situation, giving him space to sort out his feelings, "I made it clear I'm into guys too- do you think he thinks -"
"I think," slowly, carefully, you step up to Felix, voice firm but kind, "that despite how much he's seen you fuck around with other people on campus, the only person you are actually in love with is me," Felix is quiet, looking down at you with this crestfallen look like he's disappointed in himself, "and he, like most people I'll remind you, probably assumes that if he wants you to look at him like you look at me, it'll be a competition."
"Of course it's not, that's so stupid," Felix muttered reflexively.
"I've tried to tell Ollie that," you sighed, wrapping an arm around him. Felix presses his face into your hair for a very long moment.
"What if he doesn't, though?" Comes through muffled and forlorn. You're not quite sure what he means, and thankfully Felix continues, not that he moves his face at all, "what if it is just fucking around and we've misread all of this; I can't tell him I actually love him too, I'd look like an absolute freak."
"Tell him about Eddie," you advised softly, "at least he'll get the hint that you're capable of falling in love with someone who isn't me." The reminder of Eddie would always probably ache, you're starting to come to realise. For now, however, you ignore it.
Felix hugs you tightly, and mumbles that you're probably right. Something eases in your chest at that.
Curled up together in bed not ten minutes later, neither your pyjamas or duvet are as comfortable or warm as Felix's arm around you. He's still deep in thought about the night that had just passed; when he muses that at least it was a better talk than the night before, he sounds like he's still making his mind up about that. Settling into sleep, however, you're contented knowing it was true.
The following morning feels comparatively serene, chattering away to the rest of the family about the night's coming festivities. Both you and Felix drop a quick kiss to the top of Oliver's head in passing on your way to collect breakfast - Farleigh's the only one who notices, and he rolls his eyes at you both. Venetia asks you what you'll be wearing to the event and lights up when you tell her it's the jumpsuit she'd bought you from Yves Saint Laurent for your last birthday, while Elspeth coos that you'll look just darling in it.
After yesterday morning's tenseness, getting to work in your garden, planting the flowers that had arrived for you, music playing cheerily through your little speaker, it feels like a dream. The sun is warm against your back, and for some weird reason you think you see Oliver skulking around in one of the gardens by the wall of the house. Lurking again. Probably habit more than anything else, you figured. Considering the games you've been playing with him, you don't see the need to discourage that kind of behaviour. He's by the window of one of the little libraries; you wonder what must be going on in there to have caught his attention.
Oh well, you'll ask later if you remember.
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@ doorkeay-disliker anon
You do know that most doorkeay shippers were shipping it before knowing anything about the age gap? And that these are two consenting adults in at least their 30s? And that after that information showed up, Jonny came out saying he fucked up the timeline like an idiot? That he fucked it up many times? Nobody in that group of people wants that age gap, and shipped them before knowing of said age gap. The general timeline of TMA has so many mistakes, and so many Michaels. The Michael that worked with Eric could've been a different one, or he could know about Michael because Mary told him after binding him to the book to make him feel bad.
If you don't like. A ship, that's fucking fine. It's not your thing. Nobody's telling you that you have you like it. But you need to get over yourself with this whole righteous bullshit. If you actually read what people write for doorkeay, you'd notice they're always making them healthily consenting adults.
Moreso. I've never seen a doorkeay shipper harass anyone, or cause any fights. But people who claim "doorkeay has a problematic age gap!" even led harassment campaigns and told artists and writers to off themselves repeatedly for weeks on end for shipping it, when said artists and writers made it explicitly clear that they had always seen the ship as being about 2 to 3 years different maximum.
I hate when people come after ships between fucking grown adults. Why are you so fucking obsessed with it?
Care when they're shipping a minor with an adult.
Gerard Keay is not a child, he's in his 30s, and before we got his birthyear from Protocol, he could've been born anywhere in the 80s. Including 1980. No matter how much you whine, he's in his 30s. That's an adult worldwide as far as I'm aware in this dimension, bucko.
If we didn't get the exact year, he could've even been 43 at the oldest today (1980 to 2023). Doorkeay shippers have been under this understanding since forever (timeline's fucked. Play with it). And they almost always picture Michael as being close in age. Hell, I know someone who made a whole timeline trying to catch all the options that the mistakes cause and found that there's a chance Michael could've been a year younger than Gerry (before getting the set year from Protocol. That timeline was made over 2 years ago)
And the few times there's been a larger age gap, the authors/artist always make sure to clarify:
THESE ARE TWO CONSENTING ADULTS, NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF EACH OTHER, AND CAPABLE OF LEAVING THE RELATIONSHIP IF THEY NEED TO.
Smh. G/d forbid girls like anything
.
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deluweil · 21 hours
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To be honest the way part of the fandom has treated this Tommy character as a god makes me dislike him more. Unfortunately the Buck bi arc was tainted for me because it all feels force. Also what doesn't help is that Eddie was to much involved in that storyline.
The way people are acting like it's a perfect relationship and yet we barely saw them together feels just weird.
Also I don't like how some literally push Eddie away for this new white man.
This is Taylor Kelly all over again. The sad part is that the season is short and people wAnt to to spend their time giving more to the new guy.
I hope him and Marisol are gone, but I'm afraid. These two characters took the joy out of the Buck and Eddie storyline for me.
The fandom, I think, in this case, is definitely the problem here,
Lou is completely unassuming and enjoying the process and being a buddie shipper just like us - if one actually bothers to read the interviews and not just pick and choose what to talk about.
That is what makes me like Lou.
The fandom has somehow glorified Tommy's character after a couple of episodes and yeah it rubs the wrong way, because, what about the story we had so far?
Is season 7 a reset to 911? and everything that came before that doesn't count? Why not just make it 911 abc pilot then?
I don't think that's the case, but I think the last minute switch between Buck and Eddie kind of ruined it for the Tim because, yes, in a way it feels forced and out of left field.
Supposed that Buck was indeed vying for Tommy's attention, why do it like that? and why involve Eddie in the first place?
I have a lot of questions and my main problem here is not that Buck is experimenting with Tommy, it's the way they practically propelled this ship off the cliff into a dangerous spin, they went from zero to 200 in a second. - That is not how you build a relationship.
You don't try to figure out what you want, mess up the first date, then invite said date to an apology coffee and then invite him to family wedding on the way. It just doesn't work that way.
I may be straight, but I have gay and bi and lesbian friends, neither one of them has ever brought a second or even a third date to so much as a friends get together before they were sure that this is something that would last, before they brought the intended victim to be judged by friends and family.
And people who talk about Tommy as being established in the 118 family, that is not true. He has a connection with Chimney in that that he owes him his life and an acquaintance with Hen, who is clearly not very fond of him, because of obvious past she had with him and their old house before Bobby came into the picture. - Remember - Chimney was her ONLY lifeline in that house.
Tommy was not a liked character before.
Arguably Buck had more history with Taylor than he did with Tommy (which is none at all) - But Taylor is a strong opinionated and often self-serving woman (not unlike Buck mind you), emphasis on woman. - That is the only reason she never stood a chance. Because the writers could have made her and Buck the greatest love story this show has seen, but they continuously managed to ruin any fondness for any female LI to ever grace that set.
And this season is short, to bring in a new LI kinda defeats the purpose of re-establishing the team and this show, because it does feel the same as any of Buck's old relationships that were being pushed for the benefit of 'god forbid Buck actually learns how to be alone and healthy and happy' - the only thing that changed in Buck this season is his sexuality and nothing else, and that vexes me.
My problem is not with Tommy, it's the perpetuation of 'poor baby Buck' society. - I love Oliver and I love Buck - I am tired of the ever repeating pattern of forgiveness for his self serving ways without any accountability that we keep seeing.
I don't think Buck's or even Eddie's firsts or you know what? even seconds should be each other, I am more than happy to make this journey with them, but let it be a marathon not a sprint to the finish line - they knew they would get renewed for another season, they could have written and built it better than what we got - because the moment they switched gears after the second episode, the story became written in the same messy last minute way both S4 and most of S5 were written.
There is no grand plan, at this point they are merely winging it and see where the wind takes them. - And that is idiotic, they had SO MUCH TIME to make this a well written story with the strike and long break after that, to write as they film is lazy and stupid and mostly childish.
And yes this is Taylor all over again, not in that they are the same type of people, but that Buck is jumping head first into a relationship without actually knowing how he got there. - Bobby said that himself - and it is the same, because who in their right mind invite a second (kinda) date to a family event? Like dude have you ever dated before? Do you how this works?
It is a LOT of pressure and not even for Buck himself - because he brought this on himself - but rather for Tommy (aka the intended victim) to be first introduced to the family after a couple of dates when he himself has no idea where he and Buck are standing.
Marisol, has indeed sucked the joy out of the Eddie's story, I don't get why do either of the boys had to be in a relationship starting this season to begin with. Like, she is literally a handbag, the token hetero symbol, so to speak, what she is doing there? is beyond me.
The catholic guilt of her being a nun is bullshit, and as Bobby said himself, Eddie has no problem committing to certain people/things. She serves no purpose this season other than a seat warmer/ glorified babysitter since Buck is otherwise engaged.
They could have gone for Eddie finding his way in the department, Eddie dealing with his mommy issues, Eddie trying to figure out what and who he wants in his life, Eddie trying to navigate Chris' terrible teenage years.
They could have explored the fact that a guy going with his supposed gf/wife in the golf course checking Eddie's hot ass (6X17) - Oh wait, they were going to... the ground for Eddie's coming out was all laid out and they took a sharp turn to left field in the second episode of S7 and made it all about Buck again, because the Natalia actress couldn't come?? what kind of a weak ass reason is that?
And yes, the cliche of receiving the odd white man out (who played a controversial role in early seasons) rather than the regular casted poc male or the guest starring woman, for that matter, better is all kind of f-ed up, but no one would talk about that, of course. 👀
Anyway, I am hoping that whatever is coming next will be worthy of our time and attention because so far we got about more of the same as far as Buck and Eddie are concerned - except that Buck has just broaden his variety and has a bigger pallet of mate choosing at his disposal.
I have two very close bi friends, so I know how their minds work, because God knows they share with me more than I ever wanted to know lol. And one of them is watching 911 with me and she is happy for the rep as well, but unhappy with how it was developed too.
At the moment, I have decided to put any Buck and Eddie topics aside and just want to get the LONG AWAITED Madney wedding, if anyone deserve a happy ending, it's them. ❤️
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uncanny-tranny · 3 months
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Hi! would you by any chance have tips on how to get a binder when your parents refuse to buy you one? ☹️
That's definitely a sensitive and complex answer, and while I might not know of the best option for your unique situation, there are some ways you can go about this.
If it's a foregone conclusion that you cannot convince them of this, what I used to do is DIY my binder. The ways I primarily did this were:
Option One: Wearing a camisole that was one size smaller than I actually was (so, wearing a small instead of a medium, for instance), then folding it up over my chest. As a disclaimer, this may only work well if you are smaller in the chest
Option Two: Layering two sports bras in my size over each other. Some of the DIY tips I found before I got a traditional binder advised to wear one sports bra in your size, then wear another sports bra backwards in a size smaller. I would advise against this for potential safety reasons, but also because (at least personally), it can be ineffective and a waste of resources.
Some people have also had friends or other family members order their binder for them, but this can be risky, depending on your situation. While I don't know the ins and outs of your specific circumstances, risk management is important to me, so I would recommend this if it is a risk that is acceptable to make.
I understand what it's like to not have access to this resource, so what I will do is advise you against:
Binding with ace bandages (I did this before (multiple times, in fact, because of dysphoria), and believe me, not only did it hurt like hell, but it constricted my body so heavily that I may have done long-term harm)
Wearing a DIY binder (or any kind, for that matter) for longer than your body can handle
Doing DIY in such a way that even mimics binding with ace bandages. This means that your binder shouldn't constrict your ribs, breathing, or range of movement
Here are some general good practices that you should use to guide you for any type of binding, whether traditional or DIY:
When you start binding, only do so in very short sessions to begin with. While binding shouldn't outright hurt, it can be a weird transition while your body is getting used to that new sensation
Minimize heavy lifting or exercise while binding. If it is unavoidable, drink plenty of water and take plenty of breaks
Stretch after binding
Don't bind while sick or have inflammation in your lungs or chest
If you DIY, treat your binder like it is a traditional binder. Don't make the mistake of assuming you don't need to listen to your body because you aren't using a "traditional" binding method
Ultimately, listen to your body. If it is telling you that it needs a break, honour that. Your body isn't punishing you, it is trying to keep you (and it) safe, even if it doesn't feel like it
In the end, this isn't perfect. Sometimes, parents do come around, even in their own ways, even if little by little, they come around. When I first came out officially around 2016, I was convinced that my transition would be completely forbade by my family; I concealed a lot of it in the worst instances of this. However, now, I think most of my family has come through their own journey with the understanding of the reality of what and who I am. I tell you this, anon, because I want you to know that this, too , shall pass. You can make it. I know this might be devastating to you, and believe me, I know what that's like. But it won't be forever. These bridges aren't burnt forever, and I hope you can find your happiness and contentment wherever it may be.
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bayesiandragon · 26 days
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Not sure I care enough to engage with the post, but to read SVSSS + extras and come away with the interpretation that SJ doesn't care about why YQY failed to save him, just that he did fail, and therefore would never forgive him or change his behavior towards him if he learned the truth, feels off-place to me. It seems to lean into the view that SJ doesn't actually care about YQY, just sees him as a useful tool, and thus couldn't be hurt by the supposed abandonment - with that interpretation it would then make sense to think he would neither care nor change his behavior (towards YQY) upon learning what actually happened.
#generously put - I suppose it's not an interpretation that the text of svsss completely forbids#but I don't see it as the most probable interpretation by a long shot and it doesn't explain their interactions or themes well at all#given that Shen Jiu eventually canonically forgives YQY even without an explanation I don't see why he wouldn't if one was earnestly given#I could see SJ continuing to throw some lingering degree of fit if he learned that YQY had indeed tried but failed#(and YQY honestly doesn't need to elaborate on the whole trauma only the important part - that he set out too late)#but I really don't think their relationship would have been anything like how it turned out in canon#no real comment on how SJ's actions would change on ~everything else~ since it's so counterfactual after that point and we know he's a git#I do honestly feel that the novel bolsters this idea with the whole thing at Maigu Ridge#where SY learns of YQY's tragedy and immediately sees what he has to do to avert the same with LBH#he saw how important it was to explicitly let LBH know how loved he is even if he can't explain everything because it CAN change things#and it does for them#the responsibility part is... well everyone is responsible for their own behavior - including SJ#now I don't have strong opinions on this next part#but regardless of trauma or his right to remain silent - YQY has some responsibility for the ~direct~ consequences of the choice he made#namely referring to SJ's belief that he was callously abandoned and his pain and anger over it#but he is absolutely not responsible for SJ's “everything else”#idk just had some thoughts
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ctrl-lupin · 1 month
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Yes, I would be very interested hearing your head canon (@tim-ribbert-56) (in response to this post)
I have decided for my personal entertainment that Clarisse de Cagliostro is related to Lupin III, and here's why.
-pulls out Arsène Lupin's Wikipedia page-
In the novel La Comtesse de Cagliostro, a young Arsène Lupin (at the time going by the name Raoul d'Andrésy) was courting Clarisse d'Etigues, a young lady of a well-to-do family, and trying to win her hand, despite her father's disapproval.
Throughout the course of the novel, Lupin meets and falls in love with Joséphine Balsamo, aka the Countess of Cagliostro, and abandons Clarisse in favour of her. To clarify, Joséphine is not actually countess of anything, she is (or claims to be) a descendant of Giuseppe Balsamo aka the Count of Cagliostro (who was also count of jack shit), a famous conman from the 18th century.
Shenanigans ensue, which I will not go into in details on, but oh my god I am insane about Raoul and Joséphine, I want to dissect them and study them under a microscope. It turns out Joséphine aka Cagliostro is evil as fuck, Raoul/Lupin realizes that and goes back to Clarisse (whom he had previously abandoned like an old sock, I fucking hate this guy), marries her, and a few years later has her kid.
Unfortunately Clarisse dies in childbirth, and Joséphine, who was still around and very very pissed at Lupin (and jealous as hell of Clarisse whom, may I mention, had never personally antagonized her in any way whatsoever, Joséphine is just fucking bonkers). Joséphine also kidnaps Lupin and Clarisse's son, Jean, and raises him as her own son. (I have not yet read the following novel The revenge of Cagliostro so I don't really know what Jean's deal is, I just know he's an antagonist).
The following is my headcanon, based on these events. In the universe of Lupin III, Joséphine Balsamo was actually countess of the small kingdom of Cagliostro (maybe Giuseppe was count, maybe he conned his way into becoming count, maybe he bought the land and built a fake kingdom with a fake history, who knows).
After the events of The revenge of Cagliostro, Jean settles down in the country of Cagliostro, gets married, has a child, and that child will later have a daughter of their own, who they name Clarisse, after their late grandmother. Clarisse de Cagliostro, of Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro fame, would thus be the great-grand-daughter of Arsène Lupin, making her Lupin III's cousin/niece/whatever you call this specific degree of separation.
I am choosing to make Clarisse de Cagliostro a great-granddaughter of Arsène Lupin, rather than a granddaughter, because Arsène Lupin was very young when the events I described unfolded: he is 20 years old when he meets Clarisse d'Etigues and the whole Cagliostro debacle happens, and 25 by the time Jean is born. I'm assuming he had Lupin II much later in his life. So Jean and Lupin II (half-brothers) would have a significant difference in age, and so Jean's hypothetical child (grandchild of Arsène Lupin, so of the same generation of Lupin III) would be much older than Lupin III. Clarisse de Cagliostro is younger than him, maybe around the same age if you stretch it, so she's have to be a great-grandchild.
Now I need to read The revenge of Cagliostro and study Arsène Lupin's wikipedia page in more detail to determine when exactly Lupin II was born and who his mother was. And also where Albert's family branched out, because the fact that he's called D'Andrésy should theoretically place him as a descendant of Arsène Lupin's mother but not of Arsène Lupin himself; but Jean was also going by that last name, so who fucking knows.
No I am not insane I promise, I am just a gigantic nerd.
#i have very mixed feelings about Papy Lupin Original Flavour#cuz you see in the first books he was pretty much like his grandson#a charming little bastard; smug as hell but also charming enough to make up for it#like. an ego the size of the eiffel tower but it's highly deserved#if he robbed me i would just thank him#you wanna punch him in the face but like. lovingly#then around The Hollow Needle he started acting weird#and after that his ego grew into a god complex the size of the eiffel tower and he just lost all the charm#like. just a huge dick honestly.#i thought that was a logical evolution after (SPOILER FOR THE HOLLOW NEEDLE) his wife got brutally murdered in front of his eyes#mere HOURS after they got married and he gave up his whole career as a thief for her#which would be an understandable evolution#but no he's also retroactively an asshole in The Countess of Cagliostro which is a prequel#i guess leblanc just decided 'lupin's a dick now'#which sucks#but on the other hand it's very funny to kinda hate-read The Countess of Cagliostro#i was honestly rooting for Joséphine for most of the book#she is fucking insane which is exactly what raoul/lupin deserve#you know that Mountain Goats song 'no children' ?#'hand in unloveable hand; i hope you die i hope with both die'#or that post that says 'i don't ship them they're too toxic / well i hope they kill each other mid-fuck'#well that's me with them#just reading on to see how many more life-ruining decisions raoul can bodily throw himself at#also leblanc did joséphine dirty!!!!!!!!#LET MY GIRL BE EVIL FOR GOD'S SAKE#none of that 'her fragile feminine nature' and fainting after murdering someone because deep down she can't bear her own cruelty#what the fuck#let her be genuinely unhinged!! let her bash raoul's head in with a meat hammer!!!!#(yes that is something that she tried to do)#anyway. justice for Joséphine Balsamo. god forbid women do anything
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caeslxys · 1 year
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certain beloved members of vm and m9 are similar levels of morally ambiguous and unable to decisively deal with their personal shit that imogen temult is but only one them is constantly shit on for it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#cr spoilers#vaguely? I don't even wanna tag that bc this is a little controversial in tone#'but imogen's shit doesn't make sense bc she has a support system and still refuses to deal'#liam obrien had an evil caleb playlist READY TO GO like????#taliesan has talked On END about how percy is a piece of shit#(affectionate)#god forbid the woman who had her entire life repeatedly wrecked from before the first episode and every five or so episodes after#be just like. a little fucking frayed. a bit on edge#also she repeatedly REPEATEDLY asked to just be told she was wrong all episode. she was BEGGING for clarity#not because she thought they were right. but because it's so hard for her to say that her mother is wrong#when she so badly wants to be able to save her and love her#she just wishes her mother wasn't involved how she is???#oh I'm sorry I forgot she's supposed to just. get over that. in a totally believable and human way#this is the closest I'm gonna get to Discourse bc it's not worth it but keeping these thoughts in my brain is abt to make me explode so#also!! this is not me shitting on percy or caleb!! they are also The Skrunkly of their respective campaigns for me!!#and I don't think either is a bad person!!!#I do think they were given more incentive to heal in less episodes than imogen has been given all campaign tho lol#also yes I know that people exist who Do shit on these two for exactly this#even with that it is not nearly what I have seen go imogen's way#also the universal queer sentiment of 'she tried to show me a world that was peaceful if only I went back to being normal'#I just don't get it 😭
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madhushala · 7 months
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this patho teacher who annoys me so much said you don't study right and i literally asked her why did you say that and she said i can tell so i told her you're right ive not been studying lately
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figtreeandvine · 5 months
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I want to write a movie that is sort of the flip side of a Hallmark holiday movie. Not an anti-Hallmark movie, just like the other side of the same coin.
It starts with a well-dressed professional woman driving a convertible along a country road, autumn foliage in the background, terribly scenic. She turns onto a dirt road/long driveway, and stops next to a field of Christmas trees, all growing in neat, ordered rows, perfectly trimmed and pruned to form. She steps out of the car--no, she's not wearing high-heels, give her some sense!--and knocks on the door of a worn but nice-looking farmhouse. An older woman, late fifties maybe, answers the door, looking a bit puzzled. The younger woman asks if she can buy a Christmas tree now, today. The older woman says they don't do retail sales--and the younger woman breaks down crying.
Cut to the two women sitting at the kitchen table with cups of tea. The young woman (Michelle), no longer actively crying, explains that her mother loves Christmas more than anything, but is in the hospital with end-stage cancer. Her doctors don't think she'll live to see December, let alone Christmas. Nobody is selling Christmas trees in September, so could the older woman please make an exception, just this once? The older woman (Helen) regretfully explains that they have a contract to sell their trees that forbids outside sales. The younger woman nods, starts to stand up, but the older woman stops her with a hand and asks her what hospital her mother is in. After she answers the older woman says that "my Joe" will deliver a tree the next day. "Contract says I can't sell you a tree, but nothing says I can't give you one."
Next day "Joe" shows up at the hospital in flannel and jeans, with a smallish tree over her shoulder. Oh, whoops, that's Jo, Helen's daughter, short for Joanna, not Joe. Jo sets up the tree and even pulls out a box of lights and ornaments. Mother watches from hospital bed with a big smile as Jo and Michelle decorate the tree. Cue "end of movie" type sappiness as nurses and other patients gather in the doorway, smiling at the tree.
Cut to Michelle sitting in her dark apartment, clutching a mug of tea, staring out at the falling snow and the Christmas lights outside. Her apartment has no tree, no decorations, nothing. She starts at a knock on the door, goes to open it. Jo is standing there, again holding a tree over her shoulder.
Plot develops: the second tree is a gift, because Michelle might as well get it as the bank. The contract for the tree sales was an /option/ contract, which prevents them from selling to anyone else, but doesn't guarantee the sale. The corporation with the option isn't going to buy the trees, but Helen and Jo can't sell them anywhere else, and basically they get nothing. They'll lose the farm without the year's income. Michelle asks to see the contract and Jo promises to email it to her.
Next day at a very upscale law firm, Michelle asks at the end of a staff meeting if anyone in contract law still needs pro bono hours for the year. No one does, but a senior partner (Abe) takes her to his office and asks about it. She says the contract looks hinky to her ("Is that a legal term?" "Yes.") but contract law's not her thing. He raises an eyebrow and she grins and pulls a sheaf of paper out of her bag and hands it over. He reads it over, then looks up at her. "They signed this?"
More plot develops. Abe calls in underlings--interns, paralegals, whatever--and the contract is examined, dissected, and ultimately shredded (metaphorically). It's worse even than it looks--on January 1st Helen and Jo will have to repay the advanced they received at signing. The corporation has bought up a suspicious number of Christmas tree farms in previous years after foreclosure, etc.
Cut to Abe explaining all this to Helen and Jo while sitting with them and Michelle in a very swanky conference room. The firm is willing to take on the case pro bono, hopefully as a class's action suit for other farmers trapped by the contract--but there's no way it can go to court before January. Which will be too late to save the farm's income for the year. They might get enough in damages to tide them over, but….
After Michelle sees Helen and Jo out, she comes back and asks Abe if there's anything they can do immediately. Abe looks thoughtful for a long moment, then gets a really shark-like grin on his face. "Maybe…."
Cut to Helen wearing a bathrobe, coming into her kitchen in the morning. She looks out the window…and there's a food truck stopped in her driveway. She pulls a coat on over her robe and goes out--two more trucks have pulled up while she does this. Driver of the first truck asks her where they park. Another truck pulls up behind the others. Behind that is a black BMW--Abe rolls down the window and waves. Helen directs the trucks to the empty field/yard next to the house. Abe pulls up next to Helen's car and Jo's truck and parks. He and Michelle get out--Abe wearing a total power suit, Michelle in weekend casual.
The case will be easier if the corporation initially sues them for violating the (uninforcible!) contract, rather than them suing to corporation (damn if I know, but it's movie logic). So they're going to sell the trees now, and rounded up some food trucks and whatnot to draw people in.
Cue montage of Jo and Michelle running around helping people set up while Abe and Helen watch from the kitchen table. The table starts out covered in file folders…and slowly gains coffee cups and plates of cinnamon rolls. It becomes increasingly clear here that Abe and Helen are becoming as close as Jo and Michelle.
Everything gets set up and a very urban, very motley crowd appears--tats and studs and multiracial couples and LGBTQ parents and everything--and everyone is having a wonderful time eating funnel cake and choosing their tree so Jo and a bunch of rainbow-haired elves can cut it for them. At which point someone shows up from the corporation (maybe with a sheriff's deputy?) and starts yelling at Helen, who's running checkout. And suddenly Abe appears from the house and you realize why he's wearing that suit on a Saturday….
Cue confrontation and corporate flunky running off with their tail between their legs, blustering about suing. Cue Jo kissing Michelle. Cue Helen walking over and putting a hand on Abe's shoulder and smiling at her.
I want the lawyers to be the heroes because they are lawyers and know the law. I want a lesbian who lives in the country with her mother. I want urbanites to turn out as a community to help someone who isn't even part of their community. I want Michelle to keep working at her high-power job, loving Christmas and grieving her mother.
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inkskinned · 9 months
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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myheartxmyman · 28 days
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Right now I feel so old and sad at the same time. Those feelings are so strong I feel paralyzed and slow.
#right now it's all too much#got so many problems and they are going round in circles through my mind-uncontrollably#my mind jumps from one painful thought over to the next and all I currently manage to do is stay calm#endure this vicious cycle of traumatic events#and stop myself from screaming#I am calm I do endure and I suffer#maybe in a bit I will help myself out of this situation I am currently trapped in#right now calming myself down despite of all those things is hard enough#tonight I am drowning in waves of heart wrenching and soul crushing sadness#after a good night of sleep everything is gonna be a bit better I am sure of that#currently I am fighting I am crying I am breaking; but that's alright#when I endure feelings like this now then I don't have to endure them on another time#Life is an up and down#it will get better again#I remember the years when I got so depressed or whatever it was that I felt like everything just got worse and worse and worse#that's one of the things I feel sad about currently I am not doing well at all but nevertheless I KNOW there are gonna be better happier#lighter times#that's a huge step in personal growth and I did it on my own#I am slowly healing myself#I am changing#I am evolving#I am slowly getting better#and it hurt me a lot last year that you didn't acknowledge mile stones I reached all by myself you didn't see me as me#it felt like you looked at me with what you wanted to see and then you blamed me for not being that version of your#as you also mentioned 'dreamwife'#you also put me under pressure with saying things like that it made me feel like I am not good enough#like you are looking down on me#like I've to change and get better so you are getting the 'dreamwife' you perfected in your brain#I mean how old are you?#also you said things that forbid me grieving over the loss of my father and Louis
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rubiesintherough · 7 months
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bukuoshin · 8 months
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AUUUgh, but I actually have to dry my laundry and I'm sososo tired and sleepy
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astonmartinii · 1 month
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cutie patooties | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x fem leclerc!reader
just them terrorising the world with their cuteness (and collecting the younger drivers)
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | SMALL BUSINESS
yourusername
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liked by arthurleclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,209,455 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: he loves redline more than me 🙄
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user1: obsessed with how she's like "oh you wanna ship max with my brother" and then takes lestappen out back and shoots them
user2: as she should, she's the cutest leclerc by far
yourusername: true 😙
maxverstappen1: double true 😘
charles_leclerc: die.
yourusername: erm consider your ass REPORTED THIS IS HARASSMENT
maxverstappen1: did you just threaten my girlfriend ????
charles_leclerc: and what?
maxverstappen1: pull up, i'm outside
charles_leclerc: ???? leave ????
maxverstappen1: no i'm deadass don't disrespect my gf 😤😤😤
charles_leclerc: it's my SISTER
yourusername: when he's protective 😛😛😛
user3: screaming, crying, throwing up over the keychain
user4: i need someone *cough, cough* them to recreate it 🥸
landonorris: YOU WENT TO THE LEGO STORE WITHOUT ME? YOUR FAVOURITE CHILD?
yourusername: watch your tone
maxverstappen1: god forbid i want to spend time with my GIRLFRIEND on a DATE
landonorris: that's not a valid excuse
yourusername: also bold of you to assume you're our favourite child when oscar, yuki and logan are right there
oscarpiastri: snooze you lose lando
yukitsunoda0511: suck on that lando
logansargent: i'm just happy to be included
landonorris: damn...
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maxverstappen1
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liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,203,513 others
tagged: charles_leclerc & yourusername
maxverstappen1: spent the weekend bothering my girlfriend's brother, what about you?
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user9: the way charles put his ferrari cap on y/n only for max to throw it into the crowd and put his own on her head instead
user10: those who know max's attachment to his caps, this is big.
yourusername: winning looks so sexy oh my
maxverstappen1: blushing like a motherfucker
yourusername: skip the debrief? they won't notice?
maxverstappen1: i think they might notice the driver of the race they're analysing not being there
yourusername: show them the pic i just sent you, they can't say no to my puppy dog eyes
maxverstappen1: helmut said fuck off 💔
yourusername: tell him i have a present for him (it's a pack of salt and vinegar crisps and a pamphlet for caskets)
user11: @yourusername winning IS sexy, tell your bf to tell charles win
yourusername: if charles wins it's suddenly decidedly unsexy, this isn't game of thrones babe
charles_leclerc: you ARE annoying that's right
maxverstappen1: annoyingly sexy
charles_leclerc: no comment, we're going to be family at some point soon
maxverstappen1: DAMN RIGHT WE ARE
yourusername: if you think we're annoying now, oh boy.
user12: i need max and y/n to be engaged right this fucking moment
user13: i think it would actually make my year
user14: after the championship win queen @maxverstappen1 ?
yourusername
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liked by danielricciardo, oscarpiastri and 1,562,044 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: @ the person who asked how much max weighs... god will deal with you
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user15: i'm obsessed with how obsessed they are with each other
user16: is max's wardrobe all red bull merch and t-shirts dedicated to y/n?
maxverstappen1: yes 😌
danielricciardo: i saw the clip... the time stamp was 3am - we RACE TODAY?
yourusername: i am happy to support my man's hobby
danielricciardo: yes but you also don't have to race with that man on three hours of sleep
yourusername: be real daniel, the only time you'll be close to max is when he laps you xxx
danielricciardo: EXCUSE ME??? MAX YOU GONNA LET YOUR GIRLFRIEND TALK TO YOUR FIRST LOVE LIKE THAT?
maxverstappen1: bold of you to assume you were my first love
danielricciardo: did on the couch mean nothing to you?
maxverstappen1: soz buddy this is a childhood friends to lovers narrative right now (and we were already together by the time i was at red bull)
charles_leclerc: WHAT?
yourusername: spare me the dramatics, you guys were deep in the ANGST and then austria happened so really it's your own fault that it took as long as it did
user17: one comment section where the girls aren't fighting? impossible.
oscarpiastri: omg the shirts look so good y/n !!
yourusername: we're ✨graphic designers✨
maxverstappen1: does having a dashingly handsome model help
yourusername: of course !!!!!
oscarpiastri: i'm not going to answer that question
maxverstappen1: :(
oscarpiastri: on another thought - yes!
yourusername: @landonorris this is why he's one of the favourites
landonorris: i'm not talking to yall
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maxverstappen1
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liked by fernandoalo_oficial, yourusername and 1,309,556 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: weekend off racing means shenanigans and late night streaming
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user20: i know whatever poor soul went for dinner with them hated every second
yukitsunoda0511: working on being the favourite of the favourite children 🫡 and they paid for my meal at a really cool italian restaurant
oscarpiastri: game on
yourusername: so who is the lady and who is the tramp?
danielricciardo: THAT'S A TRICK QUESTION MAX DON'T ANSWER IT
maxverstappen1: you're not a lady... you're a queen 😘
yourusername: did you just fail the test, successfully?
danielricciardo: you smooth motherfucker
yourusername: stole your red bull drive and your nickname @carlossainz55
carlossainz55: why am i catching strays?
yourusername: bored ❤️
user21: y/n really be like "oh the season's boring cause my bf wins everything? let me make it interesting by shading every driver on the grid"
maxverstappen1: do NOT give her a challenge
charles_leclerc: can you PLEASE stop taking such lovey dovey gross ass photos maman keeps getting them printed and I AM GETTING MOVED OFF OF THE MANTEL PIECE I AM ON THE BOOKSHELF, THIS FACE IS A MANTEL PIECE FACE NOT A BOOKSHELF FACE
yourusername: not reading all of that, i'm happy for you or sad that happened x
charles_leclerc: MAX DO SOMETHNG
maxverstappen1: step your pussy up bro
yourusername: when he catches your lingo >>
charles_leclerc: i am a VICTIM
yourusername
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liked by arthurleclerc, landonorris and 1,450,387 others
tagged: maxverstappen1 & charles_leclerc
yourusername: invented babygirlism actually
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user22: y/n is so real for choosing a cute recent photo for herself and then just violating the guys
user23: she's funny as fuck for that
charles_leclerc: finally some fucking credit
yourusername: not everything can be about you all of the time 🤨
charles_leclerc: don't make me an ankle-biter again you're PUSHING ME
sebastianvettel: knew you were an ankle biter
yourusername: LOL
charles_leclerc: no seb no! i didn't bite ankles, just y/n's and that doesn't count
user24: what the fuck is going on here
maxverstappen1: you are the most babygirl to ever babygirl
danielricciardo: i think i had a stroke reading that
yourusername: awwwww you're so cute maxy
maxverstappen1: knew you were the one for me when we first met karting, you taught me the babygirl ways
yourusername: and you're delivering
oscarpiastri: you guys can't see but he's blushing so bad right now
landonorris: are you just attached to them
yourusername: yes he is, a babygirl in training
user25: how do i get adopted by y/n and max?
maxverstappen1: no but for real i love you, even if we are lumbered with your brother
yourusername: i love you too xxx
charles_leclerc: *brothers
maxverstappen1: nope arthur and lorenzo are sound
charles_leclerc: fUCK OFF :(((((((
FIN.
note: heyyyyyy you guysssss! we all know i have a soft spot for these two (plus oscar and alex) so i wanted to put out a little thing to celebrate 5k! thank you so much for following and reading my work, hope you enjoyed xx
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