#what kind of behaviour is this cam :

[bits-and-babs]

✦ 𝐏𝐈𝐗𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 ✦

– KINKTOBER DAY 1: CAMGIRL!READER

simon riley x camgirl!reader | smut, 18+ | 1.3k words

summary: a new client sends a request for a solo-cam performance. his lack of detail and scarce details leave you unprepared.

cw: f!reader, sexwork, dirty talk, breast-play, m & f masturbation, use of sex toy, use of honorific 'sir' but no real power dynamic.

⇽ KINKTOBER MLIST | DAY 2: TOUCH STARVED ⇾

❝On Deployment. Don’t be afraid.❞

Cryptic in its context, the message that popped up from your new client in the lower right corner of your computer screen made you smirk at the time. However, gazing at the skull-faced mask that materialised on the pixelated video screen when you answered the video call that swiftly followed, your amusement slips from your lips. Username ‘Ghost’ hadn’t been making some kind of arcane joke about the size of his dick being too much for you… 

“Oh,” you let out a weak laugh, eyes slipping over the grainy footage as ‘Ghost’ leaned back in his seat, immense, bulging arms crossing over the plane of his chest, “When you said… I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Can’t take off the mask,” the gruff, northern accent that rumbles through the computer speakers sends a ripple down your spine– a concoction of a nervous chill and delighted arousal. It metastasises in your guts when you watch him spread his legs, the blackness in the eye sockets of the skull burning through you even behind a screen. “The URA don’t take kindly t’people contactin’ cam-girls.”

URA. United Republic of Adal.

“You’re– On a military base?” The question passes your lips before you have the opportunity to think better. The plain black t-shirt stretched across his humongous frame gives little away, but the khaki-camo pants and the silver dog tags glinting in the low light of the room seem to corroborate his claims. 

“Can’t divulge that information.”

Of course he couldn’t. Obviously. 

“Y’can call me sir.” ‘Ghost’ clearly had experience contacting cam-girls, leading with his preferred address. It’s impossible to ignore that tingling arousal creeping into the pit of your stomach again, knowing you were in for a ride– so to speak. 

“Yes sir,” you answer to his demand, watching as ‘Ghost’ rubbed his palms over the top of his camo-clad thighs. You note the grainy blackness across the back of his hands; a tattoo. Most clients were secretive in their own camera-exposure, focusing the frame on their head and shoulders while pleasuring themselves off camera. ‘Ghost’s’ whole body was on display, offering just as much of a show for yourself. 

It was thrilling. 

“Lose the bra.” 

“Yes sir,” you nod, compliant to his demands. Reaching behind your back, you unclasp the lacy bra you’d chosen specifically for this cam-session. Your contact with ‘Ghost’ had been minimal, limited in the information he would reveal to you. It was entertaining this way, guessing at what you should wear like taking a crack at an enigma code. A shot in the dark; you’d gone for simple black. Slowly slipping the unadorned bra from your arms, you made a note of your victory when you hear–

“Fuck, that’s it,” ‘Ghost' mumbles beneath his breath, and you’re unsure if he was unaware of the sensitivity of his microphone, or if he’d meant for you to hear his whispered praise. You can’t find it in yourself to warn him when his palm settles over his crotch, inhaling sharply as he lifts his hips up to grind into it. 

Cupping your breasts in your hands, you squeeze the supple flesh so it bulges slightly between your fingers. It’s as natural as breathing now, a learnt behaviour after months of cam-work. Nothing special, but it gets ‘Ghost’s’ attention. 

“Hmm, fuckin’ ‘ell,” he groans softly, quick to work himself out of the khaki uniform trousers. You have half a mind to inform his superior that one of his soldiers had stolen a weapon from the armoury, watching him wrap his hand around his throbbing cock in a tight fist. “Get real close to the camera. Wanna see you fuck yourself, love.” 

You remember his initial request, much like his communications with you; simple and lacking detail. ‘Fuck urself w/ ur largest toy. Panties on’. Though, gazing at the image of him on your computer screen through heavy lids, you weren’t sure even your largest dildo compared to the girth he held in his hand. The ruddy tip is shiny, and you can just barely make out the shadows of bulging veins where his palm couldn’t reach. 

“Fuckkk,” ‘Ghost’ groans when you ease the tip of the toy in, camera angled just right to see you clench around the silicone but also to show your eyes rolling back. “That’s it. Greedy cunt’s swallowin’ it all. Look at you creamin’ around it–”

For a man so unwilling to talk much in any other set of circumstances, ‘Ghost’ was particularly mouthy now. Even as the head of the toy touches something mind-numbing inside of you, a delirious, breathy giggle escapes you at the thought. 

Beginning to push the toy in and out of your cunt, you watch ‘Ghost’ begin to fist his cock with a grunt. His eyes stay glued to the screen, enraptured by the way your walls squeeze the toy so tightly. It’s hard to miss the way his lungs rattle with unsteady breaths, the sheer size of him making a slight tremble appear like a shudder so violent it could trigger an avalanche. 

“Christ, I’d fuckin’ ruin you. Fuckin’ split you open and flood that cunt with my cum,” he moans, the sound wanton and wholely unmatching his intimidating size. It takes you a moment for your vision to focus before you note the slow, methodical rise of his fist, matching the strokes of the toy inside of you. 

Like he was imagining fucking you. 

Your own arousal spiking with the realisation, you thrust the toy inside of you quicker, more eagerly. It's ecstasy, the head of the toy spearing something inside of you that has your legs quaking. “Ugh– hhahah, ohmygod, oh fuck–” 

‘Ghost’ continues to talk you through your squeals of delight, his gruff voice particularly throaty now as he matches the violent thrusts of the toy. “Good fuckin’ girl, love. If you were here I’d fuckin’ paint your face with it– fuck!”

It’s like a chain reaction, the usually stoic man’s filthy comments causing a visible clench of your cunt when you cum around the toy. It makes ‘Ghost’ cum. White floods your vision, but the static sound in your ears can’t drown out the gruff, choked sounds that play from your speakers. 

When your blurred vision finally centres, ‘Ghost’s’ fingers are drenched with thick ropes of cum, the creamy spend dropping from his knuckles onto the khaki of his trousers. Leaning his head over the back of the chair with a shaky exhale, the black hem of the ski-mask rides up slightly, exposing the bulging veins beneath the pale, rosy skin of his neck. It’s a tantalising glimpse of the man behind the obscure username, underneath the skeleton-veil. Instantaneously, you’re like an addict– desperate for more, one hit isn’t enough to satiate the screaming need inside of you for another inch of skin. 

It’s why you leap out of bed at 04:27am when you receive a message weeks after you’d hit ‘end call’, the promise of your next fix delivered in a cryptic message deposited in a private messaging chat that had lay dormant since the footage went black. 

‘Want u on ur knees this time. Panties in ur mouth, fingers in ur cunt.’ 

Biting on a grin, you rush to answer. He was still in the URA, the digits on the clock in the top right of your phone evidence of a timezone difference. It was still relatively early there– like he’d finished his shift and immediately contacted you. Like he couldn’t wait to jack off to the image of you stuffing your cunt with your fingers and whining his name. 

Fuck the four figure amount he’d deposited into your bank as thanks for the last video call, the thought alone is enough to urge your fingers beneath the waistband of your panties, circling your clit as you clumsily type with one hand to respond to his demand. 

‘Yes sir x’ 

cod mwii/kinktober taglist:

@mortallyuniquepeach @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @crybaby-blue-blog @heart-atttack @pansa-1-san @maviee @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago @s-u-t @ghostslynx @solidly-indulgent @glitterypirateduck @gummyfang @bii-aan-ckaa @konigsblog @crissteetee @crissteetee67 @sylvanasthebansheequeen @akaym2 @exploremyworldsm @thriving-n-jiving @su57 @cabreezer0117 @cathnoneofyourbusiness @marygraceee @thatchickwiththecamera @legend-o-zelda @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction @tusk89 @bellasbees01 @dog55teeth

@mockerycrow @bubuslutty @cheezitwh0re @haunt3dh3art @levi-llama @thebiscuitsheep @maelstrom007 @alexxavicry @bug-sy-boy @glennrheesworld @kittenfrostt @luvfromkat @blingblong55 @whore4dilfs @wolfyland07 @doggydale @dog55teeth @cabreezer0117 @cathnoneofyourbusiness @marygraceee @thatchickwiththecamera @legend-o-zelda @whore-for-anime @i-love-ghost @cyberpr1m3 @mockerycrow @bubuslutty @lundenloves @cheezitwh0re @haunt3dh3art @babychoi03 @infectedkura @allekat1988 @whore-for-anime @soupbinsoup @passi0np1t @mockerycrow @cyberpr1m3 @i-love-ghost @allekat1988 @infectedkura @babychoi03 @freakquenci @maviee @yunggoblin @sleepystaarr @watyousayin @soupbinsoup @passi0np1t @damn-dean-blog @pheonyxmoon @magicalreviewphantom @limegreenbabx @johfaam0 @iaur @justsayk

@bloodmoon-bites @wiltedwonderland @doggydale @limegreenbabx @namelesshumanperson @ninahhh-brahh

[flowerandblood]

The Taste of Desire (AU)

[ dom!modern • Aemond x friend sister • female ]

[ warnings: sex with soft domination, fingering, smut, angst, sexual tension, remorse, doubts related to sex work ]

[ description: Aemond works as a professional dom, fulfilling the various fantasies of his female clients − however, he guards his privacy and does not enter into any relationships with them, recognizing that he does not want or need it. One of his clients surprises him with her behaviour, making him experience something he has never felt before, with his own actions and emotions slipping out of his control. Sexual tension, doubts related to sex work. ]

This oneshot is an alternative universe for my series The Taste of Shame in which Aemond meets the main character as his client. It shows how their lives would have turned out and what their first time would have been like if Aemond had done it for money. Created to celebrate my anniversary on 22 March.

Series & Characters Moodboard Aemond NSFW Alphabet

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

My other series: Masterlist

_____

He was never picky when it came to his female clients. They had to meet basic standards like hygiene, no venereal diseases and they couldn't go beyond a certain time, but once they signed a confidentiality clause, what he was going to do with them was no longer important to him.

He kept repeating to himself that he was there for them, not them for him, so he focused on giving them what they wanted in a way that didn't disturb his comfort zone.

He did not allow them to kiss or touch him with their hands − in fact, he preferred that any involvement they had in what was happening was minimal. What he found most pleasing in the whole act was his violence towards them, and the more they consented to, the more he was satisfied.

Their pleas and cries of pain combined with some subconscious pleasure that such sadomasochism gave them made him struggle to hold back the mocking smile that pressed against his lips.

They wanted to be treated like worthless objects, and that's what he was giving them, because that's exactly how he thought of them.

He didn't try to delve into considering what he thought of himself, because he decided that would end up with a visit to a psychiatrist. He was studying quantum physics, lived far away from his family and needed a steady, high source of income − since silly girls could make money from sex cams, he could make money that way, at least until he had no other prospects.

The only way to contact him was through an online form on his website, where they would write why they wanted to meet, indicate what suited them or not, and if he felt he could meet their whims, he would arrange to meet them to discuss the details and sign the documents.

Scrolling through dozens of similar messages about tying, gagging, beating and humiliation he stopped on one where only a few things were marked. He thought surprised that he wouldn't even link them to aggressive domination per se, and certainly not the kind he usually used.

Good morning. I've been thinking a lot lately about what I'd like to try, but I'm also a bit embarrassed about it. I don't know if this can be subsumed under your interests − I'm completely inexperienced, so maybe that's why I'm looking for a professional who knows what he's doing and would be able to show me what I actually need and want. I apologise for the rather chaotic explanation and send my regards. Selected practices: spanking, verbal domination, fingering

He blinked and scratched his chin, both intrigued and uncertain at the same time − he glanced quickly at her age and saw that she was younger than him. He bit his lower lip feeling that something in the idea that she was still inexperienced and only willing to explore her needs attracted him, the thought that this would be some sort of challenge for him.

He decided that why not.

She was an adult.

He looked forward to meeting her with the utmost curiosity. Her requirements were basic enough that he didn't need to prepare any extra kinks, and since she didn't want sex with penetration, it also gave him a greater sense of confidence and peace of mind − he knew he wouldn't have to chase his orgasm, imagining some woman from porn, and would be able to concentrate only on what he was doing to her.

When he heard a quiet knock on the door of the flat he rented only to meet his female clients, he got up immediately from behind his desk and opened it for her, swallowing hard as his gaze involuntarily swept over her figure and stopped on her face.

God.

This was not what he had expected.

She looked even younger than she had written; her eyes were big and bright, looking at him with fear and dread, though usually the women who came to him, learned by experience, kept their gaze meekly on the floor, waiting for him to command them to look at himself.

She was dressed in a plain white Tshirt and high-waisted jeans, a fabric coloured backpack on her back, her hair loose, shiny, dark, slightly wavy − he could smell the fruity scent of her perfume or shower gel.

He grunted quietly, trying to keep a stony face, feeling that involuntarily his gaze expressed shock. He took a few steps back and invited her in − she stepped inside uncertainly, turning away quickly as he closed the door behind her.

"Come in. Do not be afraid." He said lowly, pointing to his desk which stood in the deeper part of the flat − she walked in that direction, looking in horror at the bed standing on the other side of the room.

He heard her swallow hard, tense and red, pulling her backpack off her back − she placed it in her lap immediately after she sat down in the chair opposite him, as if trying to ward off and protect herself from him in this way.

He took his seat on the other side and tapped his index finger on the top of his wooden oak desk, thinking that he had never had a client like her before.

She was completely distracted, her gaze sweeping across the room as if she were a curious child, her fingers tightening on the material of her rucksack.

"As I mentioned, first the contract and confidentiality clause." He said calmly, handing her copies of the contract and clause he had sent her earlier.

She took them from him and looked into his eyes again, making him swallow hard; it wasn't a defiant look and it wasn't meant to seduce him. It seemed to him just the opposite − she wanted to show him that some part of her was genuinely afraid of him.

She nodded, her hands trembling all over as she took the sheets of paper in her hands − she looked around quickly and clumsily grabbed a pen.

He wondered, seeing what was happening to her, if what she wanted was really good for her and although he never meddled in his clients' decisions, he decided to intervene, for her sake and his own.

"You can still resign. I won't burden you with the cost." He said lowly, watching her closely, and saw that she flinched all over. She lifted the gaze of her bright eyes to him, her eyebrows arched in indecision, her mouth opened and closed as if she was trying to get something out of herself.

"I…I think I want to try. This one time. Do you think it's a bad idea, sir?" She asked him in a trembling, soft, girlish voice. The note of innocence that lurked in this after all defiant question made him twist in his seat, feeling surprised that his manhood swelled a little − he felt like he was literally burning her with his gaze.

He thought it was because she was so vulnerable − it turned him on that he was more experienced than her and had real control over what could happen next if she wanted it.

He chuckled involuntarily at her words, shaking his head, sighing quietly, looking at her indulgently.

"What I think about it doesn't matter." He murmured lowly, leaning comfortably against the back of his chair with a loud creak of wood.

He felt heat in his lower abdomen at the thought of her not dropping her gaze, boldly staring him in the face as if they had known each other for a long time, despite the fact that most women knew their buttocks would be red and swollen like tomatoes for such insolence.

"I would, however, like to hear your views on the matter, sir." She replied quickly, as if she recognised him as some sort of authority on the matter, a sexologist or anyone else who could give her a diagnosis.

"I am not a doctor. However, I don't think there is anything wrong with trying under controlled conditions. You also have a safe word that you can use at any time to stop whatever I'm doing. You have to decide." He said finally, and saw her nod her head, drawing in air loudly as if gathering her courage, and leaned over, signing the documents in the spaces indicated.

For some reason he involuntarily licked his lips, dried from some kind of excitement, his cock twitching hard in his trousers at the thought that she was really going to do this.

When she finished he took the papers from her, signed them and gave her one copy, reminding her of all the rules they had agreed and what she could not do.

"You can't touch me or kiss me. When we start, you are to call me sir and follow all my instructions. You are to answer all my questions by shaking or nodding your head unless I order you otherwise. I will not stop even if you beg me or cry until I hear your safe word which, please remind us, sounds how?" He asked softly, stapling the papers she had signed with a stapler, tucking them into his drawer, watching her out of the corner of his eye, feeling the heat in his lower abdomen at the very thought of what he was going to do to her.

Why was he so aroused when he hadn't even touched her yet?

"Peach." She muttered embarrassedly, looking down at her hands.

For a moment he wondered if he should add the rule he usually made where a woman couldn't look him in the eye, but something in her eyes captured him − her gaze wasn't seductive or filled with feelings he didn't want to see. He also guessed that forbidding it might overwhelm her even more, and he didn't want that.

He nodded at her words, rising, and she rose with him, holding her backpack in front of her, her shoulders raised slightly in a defensive gesture, as if she was afraid of him and the fact that she had somehow given him control over her.

He approached her slowly, looking at her vigilantly − her eyes fixed on his face as his hand took the rucksack from her arms in a gentle motion, dropping it next to her on the floor. His fingers rose to her cheeks, trailing over them, her jaw and her chin − he felt her tremble all over, surprised, her swollen, plump lips red with emotion.

Although he had never done this, he wanted to get a good look at her first − he knew that going straight to putting his hand in her panties would only frighten her and in this situation his tactics had to be a tad different.

First and foremost, he wanted to reassure her.

He saw that she had closed her eyes, trying to breathe slowly through her mouth as his hands slid down to her neck and her soft hair. He thought, smelling her fruity scent, that he would have given anything to have her kneel before him and take his achingly hard manhood into her mouth.

He decided that perhaps he would use his thoughts to embolden her a little more and let him do what he wanted.

"Such a sweet girl. You have no idea what I'd like to do with those lips." He hummed, feeling a shiver pass through her as one of his hands rose higher again, to her face, parting her lips with his thumb. "How hard I am now."

He saw the shock in her gaze, which quickly escaped down to the bulge in his trousers, her cheeks flushed as she looked up into his face again, her breathing quickened and ragged.

He sighed involuntarily at the sight.

"You can say a lot of things about me, but not that I'm a liar. Open." He commanded in a slightly cooler, stricter tone, her lips immediately parted slightly, allowing his thumb to slide deep between her fleshy, wet lips.

"Suck." He instructed, a quiet moan caught in her throat, her body suddenly quivering as the fingers of his free hand slid lower to her breast, teasing her nipple in calm, circular motions, her lips tightening around his thumb, obeying his command.

"Do you always walk around without a bra? Hm? Do you like it when men look at them?" He muttered warningly, pulling lightly on her nipple, looking at her curiously − she squirmed helplessly, closing her eyes, not knowing what to do with her hands. He could see how, in some subconscious reflex, she wanted to lift them up and embrace him, but reminded herself that she couldn't do that and lowered them again, moving him in some way and arousing him at the same time.

He couldn't remember if his client had ever made him completely hard by her behaviour itself.

"Quiet. We haven't even started properly yet, and already you want me to slap your arse?" He growled mockingly, and she shook her head quickly, drawing in air loudly, looking at him with a pleading look of her big, bright eyes, which he felt between his thighs as his cock swelled unbearably, demanding attention.

"This is my last warning. Lie on your stomach." He said coldly, although inside he felt like his body was on fire.

She obediently pulled off her shoes and lay down on the bed, watching, embarrassed, as he slipped his thumb, moist with her saliva, between his lips and licked it. He quickly pulled off his sweatshirt and shoes, leaving in his black short-sleeved T-shirt and trousers, fixing his hair with a careless flick of his hand.

"Leave only your panties on." He added, hearing her quiet squeal as his large hand gave her one, light, sharp smack on her buttock, just as an encouragement to keep her going.

"Just like that. So pretty." He hummed, watching her undress, climbing onto the bed behind her. He involuntarily licked his lips and grinned in amusement when he saw that underneath her trousers she was wearing pretty lace panties in powder pink.

He thought she was like a lollipop or candy, a sweet little gift bought just for pure pleasure.

As she pulled off her t-shirt she clung with her breasts to the bedclothes, looking somewhere sideways towards the window as if she was afraid of how exposed she was, that she was lying half-naked in front of a strange man who, on top of that, she was going to have to pay for it.

Although he cursed himself for it in the back of his head, the sincerity and naturalness of her behaviour endeared her to him − he thought in disbelief that he wasn't sure that even if she had asked him to punish her more harshly or to cause her intense pain he would have been able to do it.

Would it give him pleasure.

He took her hair aside, exposing her long neck and back, felt her shudder all over as his fingers ran along her spine.

"Are you going to be good, or should I tie you up?" He murmured and she nodded quickly − he hummed under his breath, stroking her bare skin. "Use your words."

"I'll be good. Sir." She added quickly, hearing him shift suddenly in irritation. He let out a loud breath through his nose, leaning down, grasping her wrists in his hands, placing them on either side of her head, showing her the position he expected her to hold them in.

"Your hands are supposed to be here at all times. On the pillow. If I see you take them away from here, I'll tie you up and on top of that, I'll give you ten slaps on the bottom to make sure you remember this lesson well. Do you understand? Use your words." He hissed, driving his fingers into the skin of her wrists, heard her swallow hard and nod her head quickly.

"− y-yes, sir −"

He gasped softly, pleased with her answer and the way it was going − he saw her hands tighten on the material of the pillow as he settled his knees on either side of her buttocks, lowering himself onto them so that she could feel his cock throbbing all under the material of his trousers. She stifled the cry that wanted to escape her lips by pressing her face against his bedding.

"− do you fucking feel it? − do you feel what you're doing to me? −" He muttered, trying to calm his breathing, not knowing why instead of pulling himself together and concentrating on his task he was teasing her, making his manhood painfully hard − he clamped his eyelids shut when he felt her hips begin to buck uncertainly to the rhythm of his movements.

He decided that fuck it, he would do it the way he felt like it, breaking his own rules, knowing that unlike the other women, she really needed this.

His closeness.

She sighed loudly and her whole body trembled as he pressed his face against her soft, fragrant hair, crushing her with his own weight, his hands roamed over the skin of her bare shoulders and the sides of her waist as his nose slowly slid lower, down to her neck, his fingers slipped underneath her and tightened on her soft, plump breasts as his lips pressed against her bare skin.

He heard her start to pant loudly through her mouth, surprised as he was, surely imagining it differently, writhing beneath him, his fingers digging warningly into the soft skin of her breasts, his hot breath enveloping her ear.

"− lie still or we'll do it rough − spread your thighs −" He growled, his thumbs pressing and playing with her nipples. He spread her legs with his knees, making her breath catch in her throat − he could feel her heart pounding fast under his hands, his tongue ran over the bare skin of her neck, smelling the salty taste of her sweat and the sweet taste of her perfume.

"− you're already wet, hm? − shall we check? −" He sneered, sliding the palms of his one hand down her belly − he saw out of the corner of his eye that her fingers clenched tightly on the fabric of the pillow, her whole body stiffened, her head tilted slightly as his fingertips pushed the soft, soaked material of her underwear aside, sinking into her leaking, fleshy womanhood.

"− good God − look at you − all sticky and warm −" He gasped as his fingers began to tease and squeeze her clit lightly, giving her a few encouraging strokes from which helpless, muffled sounds tried to escape her throat − his hand let go of her breasts for a moment and slapped her buttock with all his might, reminding her that she was supposed to be quiet.

He didn't even notice when he started rubbing against her faster from the top, chasing his own fulfilment, completely aroused by what was happening to her, how she was responding to him.

He felt like his cock was about to explode.

"− moan for me − let me hear these sweet sounds −" He whispered in her ear, driving his fingers harder into the soft, leaking structure of her folds.

Moan for me?

What the fuck was that supposed to be?

He sighed when she cried out loudly, clenching her eyes, writhing all under him, again and again rubbing his sore cock with her buttocks. He felt ashamed that even though he was the master of the situation, it seemed to him that somehow it was she who was dictating how it looked, or rather his inability to treat her as he did his other clients.

There was something innocent about her, that her goal was not for him to humiliate her, beat her or hurt her, but for him to guide her, to show her what she really desired and what he could do with her body.

He thought, running his fingertips over her moist, hot slit, that perhaps this was what he had been craving deep inside himself all this time.

"− ah − please, sir −" She mewled helplessly, and he felt her words between his thighs. He licked his lips, trailing his fingers over her throbbing, weeping cunt, teasing her hard nipple with his other hand, each of his movements accompanied by the loud click of her moisture.

"− what are you asking me to do? − use your words −" He exhaled, feeling that he was embarrassingly close to climax himself, and wondered if he was going to cum in his own trousers for the first time in his life.

"− please − please, put it inside me −" She mumbled out and he swallowed hard feeling her buttocks rubbing against his cock.

He froze for a moment, running his fingers over her hot, leaking folds, fighting with himself, on the one hand wanting only this, on the other the contract was different and he never broke the terms he himself had agreed to and signed.

What if, afterwards, she found that she didn't want it and decided that he had raped her, go to the police with it?

This thought sobered his mind a little, though his whole body shuddered with disappointment, his two fingers suddenly forced their way inside her with her moan of pleasure.

"− I can't − you know I can't, don't you? −" He breathed out, pressing the tips of his fingertips into the fleshy structure of her muscles, searching for the spot hidden between them.

She shuddered all over when he felt it a moment later, his thumb trailing over her clit as his two fingers dug in between her slick folds with a loud click of her wetness − he felt her whole body tense in anticipation, again and again his fingers squeezed her the way she needed it.

"− I'll be good, sir − please − please − please − I'll be good −" She cried out, her sticky walls began to clench around his fingers, sucking them inside and he closed his eyes, imagining he felt it on his hard, aching cock.

How tight she was.

He'd never done this before and he knew he shouldn't, but for some reason he was desperate, his mind clouded by what he'd seen and what he needed.

He watched her face in disbelief, her eyes closed, her cheeks flushed with exertion, her lips parted sweetly in a loud, accelerated breath.

"We can do this, but on my terms. I'll just fuck you, nothing more. No money. Do you understand?" He asked her in a trembling voice, as if he wanted to make sure she understood, that it meant nothing to him, that she just turned him on too much and he wanted to take it out on her.

He saw her eyes open suddenly, fear and relief filling her gaze as she whispered just a few words without looking at him.

"Let me look at your face, sir."

He himself didn't know when he suddenly flipped her onto her back as his lips clung with a loud purr to her hard, swollen nipple, sucking and licking it − he heard her moan loudly, startled, making him lose his temper. His hands in a helpless reflex slid down to the button of his trousers and his zipper, releasing his erection quickly, he wasn't sure he had ever been so terrified and aroused at the same time.

He knew things had gotten out of hand and that he would regret it, but he couldn't deny himself, knowing that he would probably never see her again.

"Don't touch me. Do you understand? If you touch me, I'll stop and I'll slap your arse so hard you won't be able to sit for the next few weeks." He hissed, looking her straight in the face, reaching his hand into his pocket to pull out the condom −she merely nodded, her hands clenched on either side of her face, her swollen lips parted in a quick, uneven breath.

He looked at her pretty figure, her sweet, plump breasts, her flushed face, her hair in disarray, and thought helplessly that she was beautiful and that he would go mad if he didn't do this to her.

Never before had he put a condom over his length as quickly as he did then − with a quick, sure, impatient movement he slid her panties off her, already all wet with her moisture, grabbed her by her hips and pushed her closer, momentarily forcing her tight, leaking folds to let him inside her.

He didn't speak, because he didn't know what he was supposed to say either, ashamed of his own desperation as he pushed deeper into her with a sure, sharp thrust.

He began to pound into her as if he had completely lost his mind, fast and out of control − she threw her head to the side, writhing beneath him, moaning loudly, her walls wonderfully moist and hot, clenching on him so tightly that he struggled to restrain himself from cumming just yet, not wanting to humiliate himself.

"− oh God −" He muttered, looking at her as if through a fog, leaning over her, his hands found hers, her fingers clenched on them, seeking proximity − she looked up at him pleadingly, panting and quivering.

He suspected that never before had anyone fucked her at such a brutal, fast pace from which she couldn't catch her breath, her thighs spread wide before him in a gesture of trust, their bodies slapping against each other with the loud clicks of her wetness.

"− these idiots couldn't even fuck you properly, hm? −" He panted low and she only nodded, his fingers intertwining with hers in some subconscious reflex, as if he wanted to show her that he understood her, that she had a right to be disappointed, that he had no idea how any man could fail to give her what she needed.

"− my poor little baby − am I right? −" He breathed out and she cried loudly and nodded her head, something in her gaze, in her eyes flooded with tears, filled with despair, tenderness and relief made him lean lower and cling to her lips.

She moaned loudly into his throat and he felt her walls squeeze him tightly with a sudden, intense orgasm, sucking him inside as his tongue invaded between her lips. She reciprocated his kiss with such devotion that a few of his helpless, sloppy thrusts were enough to make him cum into the condon.

"− fuck − fuck, baby −" He breathed out into her mouth as if she was his, as if they were in his bed in his flat, as if he loved her and was about to have dinner with her or go to sleep lying next to her, as if she wasn't a stranger to him, her sweet scent, her innocent sounds and the taste of her mouth were all that filled his mind as he continued to rock his hips deep inside her.

Even though they had both came, they didn't stop kissing, their lips joining and pulling away from each other lazily with a loud click of their saliva, his hands roaming up and down her fingers, alternately stroking them and entwining them with his own again.

Something about what was happening between them, about this sudden, unexpected closeness calmed him and made him completely drift off.

He knew that she had wanted to touch and kiss him from the very beginning, but she still respected his decision and his rules.

And he, for some reason incomprehensible to himself, broke them for her.

He pressed his face to her cheek, panting along with her, unsure of what he should do now, distracted and ashamed that he couldn't help himself, that for the first time in his life he had overstepped the time and competence he should have given her.

And that wasn't good.

What if she thinks now that they are in love with each other, that maybe one day they will be together? If she starts writing to him and stalking him like so many women before her?

"I'm sorry." He heard her whisper and shuddered, snapped out of his reverie.

He opened his eyes and met her gaze, her hands still on either side of her head. He grunted quietly, horrified at how close she was, that he could smell her pleasant scent so intensely, her breath, the warmth of her body.

"I'm the one who should apologise. I behaved unprofessionally. I won't take money from you." He replied after a moment, and she shook her head, shocked.

"− n-no, why − I mean − after all, you did what we agreed to do − you gave me your time, I −"

"− you're not the kind of person who would enjoy a strong dominant-submissive interaction − you'd be terrified − you're worrying too much − probably those guys before me didn't ask you what you needed, hm? − that's what I thought − there's nothing wrong with you − that's my diagnosis −" He hummed, sighing heavily, lifting himself up on his elbows, placing a lingering, tender kiss on her forehead.

He slipped out of her gently with her quiet hiss of discomfort − he saw her press her lips together when he slided the shed condom off his manhood and tie it off, tossing it into the small bin standing next to his bed, zipping his trousers back up. He saw her reach with a trembling hand for her underwear and sighed under his breath, shaking his head.

"Wipe yourself well first, the tissues are lying on the table next to you. Don't you have underwear to change into?" He asked uncertainly, realising that this was usually obvious to the women who visited him, as it was to him, so he didn't warn her, thinking she would figure it out for herself.

She shook her head quickly and he sighed heavily, taking a bottle of water standing on the table, unscrewing it and handing it to her, seeing that she completely didn't know what she should do with herself now.

"− drink − you'd better just wipe yourself off and put your trousers on −" He replied and she nodded, red with embarrassment, taking a few deep sips of water without looking at him.

He turned away as she started to get dressed, running his hand over his face, recognising that he was an idiot and had completely lost his fucking mind, unable to forgive himself for fucking her even though their terms were different.

He shuddered as she approached him quietly − he thought terrified that she was going to try to touch him, maybe even thinking they were going to become lovers now, but she just held a bundle of banknotes in front of him, looking at him pleadingly.

"− I already told you I won't take it − keep it −"

"− I can't, after all −"

"− don't piss me off −" He growled, and she pressed her lips together, lowering her hand, swallowing loudly.

They stared at each other for a long moment in awkward silence to say the least − he grunted, combing his fingers through his hair, feeling that for some reason his heart was pounding like crazy.

What was happening to him?

"− consider it a gift − we both made each other feel good − right? −" He asked, as if he wanted to make sure he hadn't hurt her. She nodded and smiled softly, shyly, for some reason making him feel a squeeze in his throat.

He regretted that she had ever written to him.

He regretted that he had said yes.

He regretted that it had been so pleasant.

"− thank you − and I apologise again − I won't take up your time anymore − I wish you all the best − please take care of yourself and be happy −" She said finally, and he flinched, looking at her in disbelief − he felt that his lips were parted in shock as he looked at her dully.

He didn't know what to answer.

Only after a while did he get anything out of himself, feeling that she was due at least some perfunctory response.

"− it's me who's sorry − I also wish you all the best −"

She nodded and smiled warmly at him, before her trembling hand reached for her backpack and headed towards the door, opening it and disappearing behind it a moment later.

He looked at the bed, at the sheets where the mark of her body was clearly visible, the fact that she had just been lying there, that he had been deep inside her and had fucked her like he had never put his cock inside any woman before.

He went over there and just lay on his stomach, sinking his face into the pillow that was drenched in her scent.

For the next few days, his head was in a state of chaos − one part of him was afraid that she would reach out to him, that she would seek contact or a relationship with him, like so many women before her wanting to be special to him, to be the only one.

The other part of him was even begging for her to do it, for him to be able to free himself at last from the memories of what he had done to her, that she had broken something in him, that he couldn't look at the women who came after her.

He couldn't focus, he felt remorse, he couldn't even get aroused and he was so frustrated that, to the despair of his regular clients, he decided to take a break for a few weeks to cool down.

His friend from university, Robert, had already invited him to his birthday party a month earlier and although he didn't have the energy to go anywhere, he knew that afterwards he would be listening to him and Criston moan in class about how completely unsocial he was.

He figured that since it was only going to be a private party at his house, he might as well go there at least for a while so no one would accuse him of lack of effort.

When he stopped outside his house he got out of the car and decided to have a quick cigarette, tired and discouraged, knowing that sooner or later his savings would run out and he would have to go back to it, whether he wanted to or not.

Or find another, lower-paid job.

He sighed heavily, clamping his fingers over the base of his nose, closing his eyes, trying to calm himself. He heard movement beside him and the screech of brakes, lifted his gaze and froze when it became apparent that she had just sat down beside him from her bike, a wide smile on her lips as if she thought he was a stranger, only recognising him after a moment, her lips parted then in horror, panic in her gaze.

He stared at her, feeling his body freeze.

Fuck.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

"Oh God. Do you know Robert?" She muttered, and he swallowed hard, feeling a tightening in his throat at the thought that she could have been his friend's girlfriend.

"Yes. Fuck. And you?" He asked her quickly with some sort of accusation, from which she swallowed hard.

"I-I, I'm his younger sister. I went to get some candles, I didn't know…"

"It's okay. I'll just go home." He replied, taking a few quick puffs of his cigarette, crushing it with his foot, turning back towards his car.

"N-no, please. Are you Aemond? Did I guess right? Robert was telling me about you. How he's glad you're coming. That you rarely talk or go out somewhere as a threesome with Criston. It's good that we met here, we'll avoid an awkward greeting. Please, don't be embarrassed." She muttered, and he sighed heavily, running his hand over his face, heartbroken. They both shuddered when they heard a knock on the glass, Robert looked at them through the window and started waving at them, gleeful.

Jesus Christ.

They both headed towards her house, knowing that since he'd seen him, he couldn't run away anymore anyway. He was terrified that since she was Robert's sister, she was someone familiar, not a stranger, that this changed everything and nothing, his heart pounding like mad.

"Do you have a lighter?" She asked as they stopped in front of the front door and he shook his head, snapped out of his reverie, frowning his brow.

"What?"

"Do you have a lighter? Can you help me? I need to light the candles on his birthday cake." She muttered in a whisper as if someone might overhear them, and she was telling him an important secret. He sighed heavily and nodded, recognising that he must have been dreaming all this.

Robert greeted him with joy, all around them Criston, their family and a few of his high school friends, a whole group of people he didn't know and with whom he knew he wouldn't find common ground, and among them her.

He wished him well and gave him his present, but he was unable to focus − he met her terrified gaze, she was pointing her finger at him that she needed his help in the kitchen.

He followed her as if into the lion's mouth, watching from the side as she opened the fridge in the darkness, taking out a blueberry meringue. She sighed heavily, placing it on the table in front of him, only the lights of the street lamps around them.

"It looked better in the picture on the internet, but I did my best." She mumbled, as if she wanted to say anything that would lighten the atmosphere between them.

He felt like an idiot when their trembling hands touched as he handed her the lighter and swallowed loudly, watching as one by one the candles began to glow with the warm, bright light of the flame.

He wanted to ask her if something in her life had changed, if she now knew what she wanted and needed, if she thought about what had happened.

Was she thinking about him.

She picked up the cake when it was all ready and let the air out loud through her mouth, looking him straight in the eye.

"Let's go."

After singing a short 'Happy Birthday', Robert blew out all the candles, happy to announce that his little sister had remembered what cake he loved best, assuring everyone that it was certainly delicious.

They spent the whole party throwing surreptitious, embarrassed glances at each other − he had to empty a few glasses of strong Whisky to calm himself down, the alcohol relaxing him a little, though only seemingly, suppressing his fear, but making him start thinking about something else again.

He looked at her figure dressed in a modest mid-thigh summer dress, her hair, her face − saw the way she laughed, the way she talked to others and felt a squeeze in his throat at the thought that then, being with him, she wasn't pretending.

She really was like that.

Affectionate, open, sweet, kind.

Everything he wasn't.

He swallowed heavily at the thought, sad and embittered, taking another deep sip from his glass.

"How are you going to get home? Criston is staying the night at our house, why don't you stay too? It's late." Said Robert sitting down next to him on the couch, patting him on the back in a friendly manner, already himself relaxed by the considerable amount of alcohol his body had assimilated.

He swallowed hard, looking at his sister from afar, feeling that this was a very bad idea.

"Why not." He muttered, thinking that he was a moron for looking for trouble himself, and that if Robert found out what he'd done to his sister, he'd kill him with his own hands.

Criston and a few others occupied the upstairs rooms, and he suggested he could sleep in the living room on the couch, to which Robert agreed.

He hoped this would embolden her to come to him, as he himself would never have dared to knock on her door despite how desperate he was.

At the thought that he might feel her again, his manhood reacted with an enthusiastic, intense pulsing in his trousers.

He felt that he was drunk as he began to pull off his black tight turtleneck, managing it with difficulty, pulling off his shoes, laying down dressed only in Tshirt and trousers with a quiet sigh and covered himself carelessly with the blanket, listening.

Is she going to do it or not?

And even if she comes to him, should he agree?

He felt disappointment when an hour passed and nothing happened, silence all around him and the loud snoring of someone coming from the upstairs rooms, perhaps her and Robert's father. He sighed heavily, recognising that he had made it all up, that she was surely now ashamed of him and what she had done, trying to forget it.

He swallowed hard at the thought, feeling discomfort in his stomach, and closed his eyes, figuring he would try to get at least a few hours of sleep.

He shuddered and opened them again when he heard a quiet creak, as if someone was walking down the corridor above him, but he wasn't sure himself if it wasn't just his imagination. A shiver ran down his spine and his manhood swelled all over when he heard someone quietly walk down the steps.

Whoever this person was, however, she didn't approach him but walked through the living room to the kitchen.

He felt his heart start pounding like crazy when he caught sight of her silhouette in the darkness, dressed only in an oversized white Tshirt and light shorts − she walked over to the tap, took a glass from the drawer and poured herself some water.

Should he approach her or not?

What if she gets scared?

Fuck.

He didn't even know when he just picked himself up on the couch, for some reason doing it very slowly so that his movements couldn't be heard − he felt like a predator who wanted to get closer to his prey even though he didn't really intend to harm her.

As soon as he stood up he immediately felt the room around him spin, the pleasant, intoxicating warmth of the alcohol melting through his lower abdomen making him seem less terrified of what he wanted to do than if he had been completely sober.

When she caught sight of his silhouette out of the corner of her eye she almost choked on the water − she spat some of it into the sink coughing loudly, making him freeze motionless, afraid to approach her. She quickly wiped her mouth with her hand, looking at him with big eyes.

"My God, you scared me." She muttered pale, her pretty, smooth face illuminated by the warm light of the street lamps standing in front of her house.

He stared at her for a moment, thinking that perhaps it must all have been a dream after all, that the fact that she was standing in front of him was unreal, invented by his distraught, drunken mind.

"I'm sorry." He stammered, swallowing hard, standing a good distance away from her, fighting with himself not to look shamelessly at her bare legs and her nipples peeking through from under her T-shirt.

Again.

They stood for a moment in uncomfortable silence, both of them breathing embarrassingly loudly, as if each of them was reliving deep inside themselves the fact that they were seeing each other again.

And on top of that, in her brother's house.

"I didn't know you were his sister. I swear. I would never do that to you." He finally started to speak, to explain, although he didn't know why − he had the feeling that he was trying to get anything out of himself so she didn't go back upstairs to her room.

He heard her sigh quietly, stroking her bare shoulder with her trembling hand. She shifted from foot to foot in a nervous gesture, looking somewhere to the side, her lips parted slightly in an accelerated breath.

"I know." She whispered, and he felt a heat in his lower abdomen and a pleasant shudder at the thought that perhaps she wasn't misjudging him, that perhaps she wasn't disgusted by him at all.

"How do you feel? I mean − are you okay?" She asked in a trembling voice, as if she wasn't sure if she should be asking this kind of question. She glanced at him uncertainly, clearly wanting to check his reaction, he stared at her stunned, completely surprised by her question.

"− I… yeah, I guess − I mean, I'm on a break from − you know − from this − right now −" He muttered, tucking his hands into the pockets of his black trousers, looking at the floor, feeling ashamed and embarrassed for some reason.

It's because of you, he wanted to say.

I did it for you.

"Something happened?" She asked after a moment, playing with the fingers of her hands in a nervous reflex, as if she was afraid of what she would hear.

"− yes − I mean − I have doubts − I always had, but now… they've intensified − you know −" He muttered, shrugging his shoulders, feeling the tightness in his throat and stomach growing stronger, his heart pounding like mad, cold sweat running down his back.

I'm just a whore, he thought.

I sell myself for money.

She nodded her head quickly so he knew she understood.

"− I'm sorry −" She said quietly, and he looked at her dully, not knowing why for some reason his lower lip trembled, why he felt a burning sensation under his eyelids.

He was ashamed that he desired her so much, that he wanted her words but also her body, wanted to fuck her first and then embrace her and fall asleep.

Was he treating her objectively? Was he only able to think about one thing?

Sex, sex, sex, sex.

He couldn't get anything out of himself.

He shuddered, drawing in air loudly as she came closer to him, in her gaze genuine fear and worry at his condition, questioning whether she could do anything for him, help him in any way.

He knew she longed to touch him − he saw out of the corner of his eye her hand rising to touch his shoulder but falling back after a moment, reminding himself that he never allowed anyone to invade his space.

He felt like screaming.

"− do you want to talk about it? −"

He wasn't sure he wanted to talk to anyone about it, but after a while he was sitting next to her on the terrace anyway, covered in a thick, soft blanket, sitting next to her on a rather uncomfortable wooden bench hanging by chains, which he rocked back and forth with involuntary movements of his knees, lighting a cigarette from his lighter with a quiet hiss of fire.

He took a drag and let the smoke out loudly through his nose, sighing quietly, just thinking about the fact that their hips and shoulders were touching.

"What did you think of me? After all this." He asked suddenly, swallowing loudly as he heard her twist in her place, throwing him a surprised, even horrified look. She sighed quietly, covering herself more tightly with the fluffy material.

"That you are a good man."

He felt his hand with the cigarette freeze in mid-motion as he was about to take another drag and for some reason he laughed in disbelief at her words, feeling a piercing pain in his chest, his eyebrows arching in amusement.

"That I'm a good man. Good God." He hummed, taking another drag − he could see she was looking down at her fingers, ashamed of her words and his cruel reaction. He licked his lower lip with his tongue and closed his eyes, feeling that he was completely hard.

He could smell her, she was still using that fruity, pleasant, fresh perfume.

"You're a romantic, innocent soul, aren't you?" He sneered, letting the smoke out again through his nose with a loud sigh − he heard her cough quietly as the smell of tobacco rose into her lungs. She grunted quietly, her lips tightened in displeasure.

"Innocent souls come to a strange man to spank them for money?"

"You didn't want me to spank you. You haven't experienced even a hint of real, hard domination, sweet girl." He snarled, spreading himself out comfortably on the back of the bench with a loud creak of wood, the metal chains squeaking quietly each time he made another movement with his foot, putting the structure in motion.

"So why did you agree to this?" She asked finally, and he fell silent, staring blankly ahead, taking one last drag on what was left of his cigarette.

"Good question."

They both fell silent again, feeling that their conversation was starting to get out of hand, and after all, someone could have woken up, opened the window, overheard their words.

"Did you tell Robert?" He asked suddenly, and she shook her head, horrified.

"N-no, of course not. And I won't. This is between you two. He respects you very much." She muttered, lowering her gaze to her bent knees, which she held under her chin. He hummed at her statement, accepting her words with some sort of relief.

"Did that help you? Now you know what you need?" He asked impassively, letting the smoke out loudly through his mouth, dropping the remnants of his cigarette into the glass with the unfinished drink, feeling her gaze on him, her body tense, he knew she had hesitated.

"In a way." She replied, and he dared to look her straight in the eye.

She didn't lower her gaze even though he knew some part of her wanted to do so, her lips parted slightly when she noticed his hands had slipped under the blanket, into his trousers. She swallowed loudly when she heard the sound of his zipper being undone and the fabric being unfastened.

"Come here. Sit on my lap." He ordered softly, and she did so without hesitation, as if she had only been waiting for those words, something in her confidence, in her assurance, in her desire, in her hot gaze made his breath stand in his throat.

They said nothing as he slipped her shorts off her, as he lowered his trousers, finally releasing his aching, swollen erection, already leaking from his precum. He didn't protest when her hands tentatively embraced his neck, barely touching him, merely catching her balance, his free hand covering their hips with a blanket.

"I'm clean. I had myself tested a few weeks ago, after I'd already taken a break." He whispered, feeling his cock throb aggressively in his hand at the thought that he could come deep inside her if she would just let him. She nodded her head in understanding, one movement of his hand between her thighs reassuring him that no further treatment would be necessary.

"Have you been this wet all evening? Hm? Have you suffered as much as I have?" He gasped, directing the pink, fat head of his manhood at her swollen slit. She nodded again, her lips parted in disbelief and delight, her eyes closed as she felt him begin to push inside her,his thumbs spreading her folds to the sides, watching with a rapidly beating heart as he slowly opened her wide on his cock.

"− fuck − fuck, tell me you're taking your pills −" He breathed out, tilting his head back, with one sure thrust of his hips filling her tight, leaking cunt to the brim. She squirmed quietly as he began to move inside her immediately, pounding into her with deep, sure stabs, rubbing each time the spot inside her from where she could see stars.

"− y-yes −" She mumbled out, rising and falling on his thick, aching manhood, giving him a wonderful squeeze each time, from which he sank his fingers deeper into her soft buttocks, forcing her into a fast, sharp rhythm in which he hardly slid out of her, panting and grunting louder than usual, thinking only of how wonderfully warm she was, that he could feel her moist, fleshy walls with his whole being with each sure thrust.

"− kiss me −" He exhaled and groaned loudly into her mouth as her lips instantly clung to his in a sloppy, sticky dance, his tongue invading deep into her throat, a shudder went through him as one of her hands combed through his hair.

"− m sorry −" She mumbled, immediately lowering her hand, but he put his one arm around her waist and pressed her closer to him, deepening the kiss with a loud purr of satisfaction, feeling wonderful, the alcohol had given him courage, and her touch was sweet and tender, not making him feel cornered.

"− it's okay − touch my face −" He sighed out between loud, wet licks of their swollen lips, quickening his pace as her hands gripped his cheeks, as her forehead pressed against his. Her walls began to clench on him with increasing intensity, making him lose his temper, not letting her escape the brutal thrusts of his hips.

"− oh, God − fuck, where −" He only mumbled, feeling that it was about to be too late.

"− please, inside me − ah −" She mewled so sweetly that he sighed loudly, surprised to feel his muscles relax, his semen spilling deep inside her without his willpower as her walls began to suck him and squeeze him in orgasm.

They both panted loudly, rocking their hips for a while longer, pulsing and shuddering, stroking each other's faces, looking at each other with their lips slightly parted, breathing heavily.

"− shall we go out somewhere tomorrow? − you know − to the pub or something? −" He muttered embarrassed that he had wanted something more, that he broke his own rule.

He was relieved when she giggled and smiled, nodding, only to lean in a moment later and kiss him in a drawn-out manner with her soft, puffy lips. He murmured contentedly, stroking her warm, bare buttocks with lazy movements, reciprocating her caress with a loud click of their saliva.

She pulled away from him at last, her hand combing slowly through his short hair making a pleasant shiver run along his spine.

"− why not −"

[paradiseprincesss]

Jonathan Crane with a cam corder… 📸

mind games - jonathan crane x reader

hello anon! you asked and you shall receive. please enjoy xoxo. this gave me a fucked up idea about the whole camcorder thing...oops. i am SORRY.

summary: as fate would have it, you meet handsome stranger who you learn is named jonathan, and the two of you hit it off well - so well, that he invites you back to his place after a romantic date. what you didn't realize was that this wasn't the doing of fate at all, it was a plan jonathan had in the works for a long, long time.

word count: 3.8k

warnings: NON-CON, jonathan is in his joe goldberg era (he's stalking), manipulation, voyeurism (no like, really), non-consensual filming/recording, obsessive behaviour, p in v, guys this is just super fucked up i have...no explantion

you didn't see it coming. you wouldn't have gone running into his arms if you did. jonathan was the loner type - never opening his heart to anyone.

that was until he saw you - he was taken with you from the moment he laid eyes on you. you had to be his; he wouldn't have it any other way. he was set on having you succumb to him.

this man had an immense amount of self control. he had prowled, waited, stalked and targeted you for months and you didn't have a clue. he first saw you on the street by his apartment at 9:48 pm exactly on a fateful friday night - you stole his tainted heart.

on that particular night, you were heading to your favourite bar with your friends, and he watched you as you stepped out of your uber. his eyes lingered for much too long, and before he knew it; he was plotting.

he lurked in the shadows of the night to see when you would leave, and he got his answer - 12:58 am. that was the time when he saw you leave the bar, waving goodbye to your friends as you waited outside momentarily for an uber to pick you up.

he noticed everything about you down to a t. the way you parted your hair, the colour of your nails, the way you did your makeup, what kind of clothes you wore - everything.

while you waited for your uber, your intuition kicked in - was someone watching you?

but you tried to shake the feeling - it was probably just paranoia, it was late, after all. he watched as you stood there waiting, and knew he had to make a move then and there.

"excuse me, miss!" you hear a mans voice say from behind you, causing you to startle slightly, and he noticed. "i apologize, i didn't mean to startle you. i just came over to say that perhaps you should wait inside the bar rather than outside on the street. this part of gotham isn't exactly known for it's...friendly townspeople."

the way he spoke calmed you down - he had a gentle, caring aura and you took a good look at him as well. he was handsome - my god was he handsome. he was perfect; every detail about him was almost godlike. the first thing you noticed about him were his striking, blue eyes. you didn't know someone could have such beautiful eyes.

"oh," you managed to softly say after an awkward moment of checking out the handsome stranger in front of you, "thank you for letting me know, but it's okay. my uber should be here in a minute." you thank the seemingly kind stranger, and he nods.

"right, well - be safe. have a good night." he says softly, and you almost got lost in his eyes again.

"thank you, you as well." you reply, a small smile on your lips.

and with that, he was gone - walked right back into his apartment building without another word. well, that's what it looked like, anyways. however, that was far from the truth.

your uber arrived within mere seconds, and you got in. jonathan watched from the shadows of an alleyway behind you, and as you and your uber set off, he hailed down the nearest cab he could find.

"just follow that white car over there." he tells the cab driver, and the guy doesn't question it. this was gotham after all, nobody ever questioned anything - nobody had any morals.

you were too focused on texting your friends, still a little tipsy, in the uber to notice that a cab had been tailing you for the last fifteen minutes.

whoops.

as the uber driver pulled up to the curb of your house, you get out and thank him tiredly. you grab your keys out of your purse, and unlock the front door of your house. closing the door (and thankfully, locking it) behind you, you switch on the lights of your home.

you threw your jacket on the couch and slipped off your high heels with a sigh. unbeknownst to you, someone was watching your every move through your curtains - which you habitually left open a little too often. jonathan let his sinister thoughts run wild as he watched you from the street in front of your home, standing just far enough so that he wasn't noticeable.

he watched you like a lion stalking it's prey - silently and from a distance, undetected.

suddenly, his eyes widened as he saw you start to undress in your bedroom upstairs, too focused on his lewd thoughts about you to notice that you had even gone upstairs.

foolish girl, he thought to himself as he creeped on you. slowly, you slipped your dress off, and to his surprise - you weren't wearing any panties under your dress.

where you an exhibitionist? a thrill-seeker? a huge freak? just mental? maybe you were just slutty, who knows. but as he was trying to collect his thoughts, he frowned.

you threw on some baggy pyjamas - disappointing. he wanted to see more. but what came next perhaps shocked him more than the whole no panties thing; you got into your bed, and held up what appeared to be pictures of some sort in your hands.

and you started crying.

you were actually crying, and that caught jonathan off guard.

why were you crying? did someone hurt you? did someone break your heart? shatter it in two? ruin you?

the questions ran through his mind endlessly, and he felt himself wanting to know. so, he decided to document this moment so that he could get to know you better.

jonathan liked to document things. that was a habit of his that he couldn't quite seem to kick.

unbeknownst to jonathan, you were crying over old photos of you and your ex-boyfriend. he wasn't a good person by any means, quite the opposite - but that didn't mean you weren't going to mourn the relationship. it had barely been a month since the two of you split; and you were so vulnerable right now.

at that very moment, you wished someone else could be there for you. that you could run into someone else's arms and they would save you - because you craved it. you needed it. and jonathan seemed to sense that without you even having to say a single word to him.

he could save you, he thought. he could be the one to show you what real love looked like.

taking the little, handheld camcorder out of his suit pocket, he started to record you from afar; recording you crying. it was rather innocent, really. at least, it started out that way anyway.

god, some sick, twisted, creepy individual could be watching you - you should really close your curtains, jonathan thought to himself as he watched you, smirking coyly at the irony of it all.

after filming you for a few more minutes, he slipped the camcorder away, and hailed a cab down the street from yours back to his apartment.

the sun was shining beautifully, the birds were chirping, and the weather was divine on this pleasant summer day. you were loving this summer weather, and you were currently standing in line at your favourite coffee shop, waiting to order an iced latte.

but jonathan already knew that.

he watched you get ready to go out as he stood on the street in broad daylight staring at you through the windows, since apparently you didn't know how to close your fucking curtains.

he got some good footage that day on his camcorder.

as of now, jonathan was stood behind you in the coffee shop, acting like he hadn't just filmed you like a sick freak for the last few hours. as you went up to the barista to order, you reached into your purse to pay - only to realize you had forgotten your wallet at home.

but again, jonathan was aware of this because technically, he was there in spirit when it happened.

so, what did he do? he offered to pay, of course. because he's just that kind.

"here, i got it-" he said from behind you, pulling his card out to tap on the machine. you looked behind you in surprise - but you recognized those striking eyes immediately.

it was the kind stranger from the other night! he really was a sweetheart, wasn't he?

"oh, gosh, thank you." you say, flustered at the interaction and slightly embarrassed. "it's no problem-" but he pauses, smiling at you for a moment, "hey, you're the girl i saw the other night. i'm glad you made it home safely."

you smile back at the stranger, yet to put a name to his gorgeous face. "yeah, yeah that was me." you say, the two of you stepping aside so that other people could order. "thank you again - i'm so embarrassed." you laugh softly.

"don't be," he says gently, "i'm jonathan, by the way."

he finally introduced himself - but he already knew you quite well. a little too well. you gave him your name, briefly introducing yourself, and he looks at you through his glasses.

"well, it's lovely to, er- meet you again?" he laughs softly, and you giggle - your voice giving him butterflies. "right, nice to re-meet you." you tease, making him smile again.

"are you doing anything today? hopefully not getting too tipsy, i hope - kidding." he says to you with a friendly tone, and you shake your head laughing. "that wasn't on the agenda today, no."

he knew that it wasn't. he knew that today you had nothing planned. you just wanted to enjoy the pretty weather, maybe go for a walk or something with your iced latte. and how did he know this, you ask? well, that's simple.

he stood by your window last night, camcorder in hand, and recorded you talking to your friend about it on the phone in bed - in just your bra and panties.

"i'm taking the day off today." your voice brought him back to reality. "i think i'm just going to enjoy the beautiful weather today. i love the sun, it makes me feel so energized - i dunno."

"i agree with you there." he says, nodding as if he was hearing about this for the first time. but your next question actually caught him off guard. "d'wanna join me?"

he looks at you for a moment, and you start to get flustered again. "sorry- i'm sure you have a girlfriend or something-"

"hey, hey-" he says soothingly, "first of all, i do not have a girlfriend. and secondly, i would love to. it's my day off as well, actually."

you beam at him, and he finds your smile so cute. god, he just wanted to fucking choke you right then and there - but of course, he had some self control.

the two of you spent the day together, enjoying the gorgeous summer day, and you hit it off instantly. you learned that his full name was jonathan crane, and that he was a doctor at arkham asylum. you told him about what you did for a living, and he told you he found it "fascinating."

before you said goodbye, he asked for your number which you willingly gave over. the rush of being able to actually talk to you was almost too much for him, and his brain was short-circuiting at the mere thought of it.

that night, the two of you parted ways - but you both ended up back at your place; you just weren't aware that you had company.

this time, taking your photos and filming you from afar wasn't satisfying the urges in him anymore. he needed more. as the sun set, you finished doing the dishes and cleaned up after cooking dinner. you made your way to your living room, switching off your lights - except a slim lamp that stood beside your couch.

getting cozy and comfortable in your house wear, you put on your favourite show to watch, and sat back blissfully on your couch - while someone else was watching you in the dark.

he had managed to make his way in through the huge window - which you stupidly left unlocked - by your living room hours earlier while you were preoccupied upstairs getting changed.

he did a pretty good job at hiding out of sight from you - and he internally applauded himself for that.

suddenly, you got up from the couch, startling him, and he hid closer to the shadows - lurking in the darkness of what you called home.

he watched you finally close those fucking curtains, then returning to the couch you previously sat at. he wondered why now of all times you decided to close your curtains-

oh.

that's when he heard it.

soft, little moans were being drawn out of your pretty lips as your fingers ghosted over your clit. he could feel himself getting painfuly hard at just your sounds - because remember, he couldn't see all of you from where he was hiding.

so, you were indulging in a little self pleasure - was that so wrong? to be fair, you thought you were all alone. your moans got breathier, louder as you slowly slipped two fingers into your aching hole.

jonathan - being the sick psychopath he was - snuck his way around the darkness of your downstairs floor, trying to be as stealthy and quiet as possible. finally, he saw what he was so desperately trying to see.

you with your baggy shirt, which had ridden up, exposing your pretty tits and your fingers in your pretty pussy, panties thrown on your living room floor.

he watched, and he had to physically hold himself back from taking you right then and there - trying his hardest not to moan at the sight of you fucking yourself with your fingers.

slowly, he slipped his hand into his pocket - and pulled out his camcorder. pressing record, he started to film you from where he was. he was definitely going to jerk off to this later. he filmed all of it - you fingering yourself, your pretty moans, and of course, when you came all over your own fingers.

after you came down from your high, you laid breathless on your couch for a good while. jonathan took this opportunity to sneak out of your house - undetected.

that night, he watched that video of you on repeat, over and over, cumming all over his fist as he breathlessly moaned your name.

you shook your head as you laughed in the dimly lit restaurant, "it was the worst date i'd ever been on."

jonathan looked at you, smiling and laughing along with you. "that sounds...brutal, if i'm being honest."

the two of you were on your first official date - which you had been discussing over text and on the phone, and now it was finally happening. jonathans obsessive little heart was overflowing with joy.

the two of you were currently drinking expensive champagne and sharing "worst first date" stories - and you really thought this man, this stranger who fate brought into your life, could be the one.

he was so funny, so kind, so charming - it was like you knew him for ages.

as the date came to an end, he took your hand, holding onto it softly after paying the bill (because he's still a classy guy, after all), and spoke to you in a saccharine voice.

"would it be so terrible if i asked if you'd like to come back to my place?"

you blushed and bit your lip, shaking your head. "not terrible at all - count me in."

and that may have quite literally been the biggest mistake of your life, maybe even bigger than the mistake of not closing your curtains.

as he parked his car in the parking garage of the apartment complex, he helped you out of his car and held your hand as he took you into the elevator and then to his apartment.

unit #303 - you'd come to never forget it.

as the two of you got inside his place, you took a moment to admire the classiness of his apartment. it was clean, minimalistic and dark, and just like him, it appeared to be a perfectly normal from the surface.

"you truly are stunning." he said lowly, pulling you close by your waist, making you blush.

"i really like you, jonathan." you tell him softly, and he gives you a gentle kiss. willingly, you kiss back - unaware of what was to come next.

"i knew i had to make you mine the night i first saw you." he says, looking at you with a soft smile. you didn't think about what he really meant here - you weren't even aware of what he really meant. "that's so sweet." you whisper, and his grip on your waist tightened suddenly.

"no, really." he says, tone growing slightly impatient, "i couldn't stop myself."

your breath hitches in your throat as you aren't too sure what he means by this - but you try and give him the benefit of the doubt. "uh," you laugh nervously, "t-thank you, i guess?"

then he went quiet.

"would you like to see my mask?" he asks, after a moment of silence - and you look at him confused and slightly scared. "your...mask?"

suddenly, he's guiding you into the bedroom, and you're feeling both confused and very anxious - but your anxiety skyrockets as you take a look at what was in his bedroom.

photos of you covered the wall - pictures of you that you weren't aware had even been taken. there was photos of you talking on the phone to your friends, cooking, watching shows - and then there were the not-so-innocent photos.

pictures of you with your fingers buried into your cunt, pictures of you walking around naked, and pictures of you posing in your lingerie on the bed; taking pictures of yourself in the mirror to send to someone else.

your body went into flight or fight - and you tried to make a run for it but a cloudy gas filled your senses, causing you to scream erratically. what appeared in front of you was horrendous - your worst fears brought to life, clouding your vision.

and there stood jonathan in the midst of all the chaos - in what appeared to be some sort of burlap mask. staring at you with those deadly yet beautiful blue eyes through the small holes in his mask. as his toxin started to creep into your system, you noticed he was holding something in his hand.

a camcorder.

judging by all the pictures of you on the wall, you knew where this was going and it made you fucking nauseous.

"n-no.." you whimpered, shaking as he took hold of you and threw you onto the bed. he propped his camcorder up onto the bedside table, the red light flashing; indicating that he was indeed filming this.

he ripped your clothes right off you, and at this point, you were a sobbing mess. "please don't do this - you don't have to do this, jonathan."

you begged, you screamed, and you cried; but to no avail, he kept going. kept undressing you and forcing you down onto his bed - scarecrow mask still covering his face.

"keep screaming like that and i'll cum." he says, pinning you down on the bed with such force you didn't even know if it was humanely possible. the hallucinations of the toxin had you thrashing and screaming, and while you were busy fearing for your life - he was busy undoing his pants and belt buckle.

"no, no, please no-" you pleaded with him, but he didn't give in - he was never going to set you free. "shh, let me see your fears consume you, my love." he whispered, picking up the camcorder again.

you were drugged up out of your mind at this point, the toxin taking it's full effects on you. just as your high was reaching it's deadly peak, you felt the tip of his cock poke at your cunt.

you sobbed at the feeling of it - just by the tip you could feel how thick he was - how big he was. he was going to rip you open; you could just feel it.

"say hi to the camera, my love." he tells you, while spitting onto his cock to try and fit it in with a little more ease. as you sobbed with the camcorder in your face, he pushed himself into you with a staggered thrust.

the feeling of him forcing his cock in was brutal.

"i-i can't take it!" you thrashed and screamed, but he kept your wrists pinned down with one hand and the camcorder in the other. "too big?" he cooed, "fuck baby, you can take it. and if you can't - i'll force you to."

he fucked you roughly, your tight cunt squeezing him in all the disgustingly right ways. you weren't trying to get wet - it was just your body's natural response. at this point, you had stopped crying from either pure shock or from the drugs - probably both.

"jon-"

"fuck, that's right baby. say my name." he groans, panning the camcorder down to film your abused little cunt taking his huge cock - pounding into you mercilessly.

"should i cum inside?" he grunted, fat cock pushing into your cervix - undoubtably bruising your insides. "yeah, i think i will. you'd look so pretty with my cum dripping out of you."

you shook your head no, pleading with him to pull out since you weren't on any contraceptives at the moment - but it dawned on you that he probably knew that.

"please no, pull o-out, ah- jon, pull out!" you wriggled around in his grasp, begging and pleading with the psychopath who was balls deep in your cunt right now.

"no." he spat, and continued his assault on you. "you can fucking take it." you tried your hardest to push away from him, scratch him, bite him - anything to try and get away but it was no use. his grip was unwavering.

after a few more excruciatingly painful thrusts into your abused cunt, he painted your walls white with his sticky cum, filling you up to the brim.

"god, i love you." he whispered as he spilled his seed into you, and you sobbed at his words in pure disgust. as the toxin slowly wore off, you laid there lifelessly, the light inside you draining minute by minute. your eyes darted around the bedroom, taking in all the eerie pictures of you scattered all over the walls.

your mind flashed back to the fateful night you first met him; your intuition was right - it never lies.

someone was watching you.

a/n: i will be writing a bunch of soft, fluffy crane fics and drabbles to recover from THIS. ok bye

[loveandleases]

I feel like the major difference between Chris and Jade is that Chris was raised to be self centered and narcisitic, and Jade just happened to be that way. Chris feels similar to Jade in the way that they both refuse to take accountability for their actions, but the difference is how they deal with guilt. While Jade simply feels free from guilt since she literally CANNOT fathom ever feeling remorse for something she caused, because in her head, it was inevitable, or facing the consequences of her actions. I feel like Chris sort of expects their consequences in that sense, but is surprised nontheless when they come, they are also very capable of feeling guilt, but like Jade, decides to simply make up reasons in their head the other party is in the wrong, why the other party is inherently worse and whatnot, since that's EXACTLY what they do to Mc's who choose to pursue Cam for example, they refuse to face guilt, or simply feeling bad about something that passed. Chris knows what they do wrong, they just seem like they're in heavy denial, stemmed from the way their parents raised them to be, a perfect angel, unlike Jade who refuses to aknowledge she could ever be a villain in someone else's history, she's not in denial, because denial would imply she realizes what she did wrong.

And i'm not ranting just to make a point about how Jade is worse for possibly having Npd, or how Chris is better because he doesn't and is simply a 'misguided soul'. Nope, i'm not hopping in that bandwagon in which all neurodivergent/people with personality disorders are evil villains who need to be stopped. I'm just pointing out what is, and in the end of the day, they're both awful for what they did with Mc, i just think their egocentric behaviour stems from different places and i'd like to point that out

Thank you for coming to my ted talk, and that was: Chris and Jade slander

Pt 1. here

You would be right in the belief that Chris would/ feel guilt while Jade not so much. There was a scenario ask a bit back that kind of shows that part of Chris, I'll look for it to put it in so others can see the other side. So yeah, Chris was raised that way and others seem to treat them that way to. Very much a golden child. Their behaviors does indeed come from two different places.

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

Driving Habits -Octavinelle Edition

Can they drive? If so, what kind of drivers are they? What are their car habits?

Characters; Azul Ashengrotto, Jade Leech & Floyd Leech

Content; mentions of road rage & whatever Floyd has going on

Word Count; 500+

Find the Rest of the Series; Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia

Author’s Note; As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

Azul Ashengrotto

Can’t drive. He has read all the books, and has had Jade try to teach him, but it’s all like flying class all over again. He hates it and he hates that Jade and Floyd tease him about it.

He even tried the driving simulation games with Idia, but those didn’t help any either. All it did was get him pissy about getting blue-shelled in Mario Kart.

Whenever he wants to go places he either has Jade pick him up or calls a taxi. There is no chance he is getting a ride with Floyd. Actually makes Floyd sign a contract to never drive him.

Will go over paperwork while sitting in the passenger seat (Jade) or back (taxi), or look out the window deep in thought going over a new promotional item for the Lounge. He refuses to take public transit, since last time he had to sit next to a screaming toddler.

At least he won’t need a license or car back in the Coral Sea, but that doesn’t mean that he won’t grumble in private and question why he can’t master it.

Jade Leech

Great driver, goes by the book. He has a dash cam set up in case the time comes should he really need it not for an alibi. This has gotten Floyd into trouble on more than one occasion.

Drives in dead silence or listens to a mycology podcast or audiobook. May occasionally hum a little tune to himself when he’s in a good mood. No one is allowed to touch the aux, if they try they may lose a finger or two; Floyd can attest to this fact.

Keeps his phone on silent. He does wear a bluetooth headset so he can take calls while still driving but only picks up if it’s from his parents, Azul (75% of the time), or Floyd (50% of the time).

Doesn’t have any bumper stickers, but does have several mushroom decorations hidden throughout his vehicle. If he could, he would have everything mushroom themed, but he needs to keep up his appearance. Keeps his keys on a mushroom lanyard. Keeps everything spotless.

Silently rages in his head at people who really shouldn’t be on the road. He just clutches tightly onto the steering wheel with a cold smile. 

Floyd Leech

He can either be an okay driver or driving like he’s in GTA and making a getaway, there is no in-between. It depends on his mood, time of day, moon cycle, and weather.

Has the music to full blast and singing along. And his playlist is the most chaotic thing, it can be 80’s one minute, dubstep the next, and then musicals. If it’s loud and chaotic, he’ll play it.

Has called Jade and Azul on speaker while he’s driving. Jade is used to this behaviour. Azul is livid, especially if he’s in class or at the Lounge. Don’t be like Floyd.

His bumper is covered in the greatest assortment of cursed bumper stickers. You can’t really make anything out. The inside is just as chaotic as the outside, but it all reflects what is going on inside his head.

Has road rage, and will act on it. Is the type of person to race people who pass him. Honestly, no one really knows how he still has a license or if he even got a license in the first place… wait, he has a license, right? RIGHT? FLOYD?!

[mayasaura]

what if john didn't actually wipe the pre-ressurection memories of his friends, and he just made them inaccessible, and through lyctor shenanigans, pyrha was somehow able to find gi1deons?

this is brought on by me seeing a post a while back about how childhood amnesia is kind of like ur brain updating and then the childhood memory files not updating with it, so the brain computer can't use them.

but the pre-ressurection memories are adult memories, so a human brain, a.k.a g1deon's, would have to be damaged in a particular way to be unable to access the entirety of his life.

fast forward to his ascension. pyrrha, as his cav, is going to have her muscle memories superimposed over his, and so she is effectively going 'where remembrance lives in the brain'. the superhealing granted by lyctorhood mingles with the incoming pyrrha™️ juice and either that's what disrupts some of whatever work john did, and the botched process gives pyrrha access to gi1deon's pre-res memories, or the botched process specifically that does it. either way, pyrrha now knows Some Things. Some Things she'll sit on for a while, but Things none the less.

this brings me to cassy. she was working on the grand lysis with anastasia originally, something pal and cam perfected centuries later. consequently, paul tells us two very important things:

1) when you combine two souls, the resultant souls have both the memories, but may find it hard to sort through and distinguish memories of the same event

2) it is possible to reach grand lysis after a standard lysis.

could it be, then, that cassy was privately trying to achieve grand lysis too? if she was, it's obvious she didn't succeed/fully follow through, as the og lyctor gang don't mention any change in her behaviour. but i like to think that she tried, and just like gi1deon unintentionally undid some of John's work. but what Cass-and-Nigella (Nancy?) saw and remembered caused them to panic and 'look back', which could have permanently stopped Cass from trying to undergo grand lysis again (there's not enough evidence for that, it's just the only reason i can think of why she wouldn't dive deeper; truth over solace in lies and all that)

whatever happened, it's some extra sauce on for the cass betrayal <3

So true, you make some great points about Pyrrha and GtF. If John wiped them by suppressing that memory in her brain, well, once she was a soul without her own brain..... all bets are off.

I'm not sure how you're drawing the conclusion for the second point, about grand lysis being possible after completing standard lysis. If Paul is the result of Cassiopeia and Anastasia's joint research, or at least if Cassie and Anastasia were driving toward the same goal, I'm not sure it follows that Cassie thought she could still achieve grand lysis with Nigella. Sixth is for truth over solace in lies, right? Could be the truth Cassie was seeking wasn't that she could still be reborn with Nigella, but rather the much harder truth of finding out for sure that Nigella's death was unnecessary.

I think you're right, tho. It is very suggestive that Cassiopeia and Anastasia's research was in composite and melange souls. And that is some delicious sauce to stir into the theories about Cassiopeia's betrayal.

[pewcat2]

Went on a bit of a Brandy/Lee rant on twitter and wanted to translate it over to tumblr so I can keep it in my Detentionaire tag:

It started with me stating that their relationship obviously doesn’t start out great, with Brandy blackmailing Lee into dating her, but also Lee kind of leads Brandy on and is shitty to her in other ways, but both characters grow a lot throughout the series and end up having one of my favourite platonic relationships by the end. While I love their platonic relationship I absolutely would have loved to see a second chance romance between them (even though I adore Cam and Brandy but also this just illustrates why I’m writing a polyamorous college fic for this series)

Then I decided I wanted to talk a little more about Lee and Brandy, specifically how there’s always so much focus on Brandy being the “bad” one in the relationship (blackmailing Lee into dating her, for example) but how she really highlights how Lee interacts negatively with a lot of the people in his life.

Generally, Lee is seen as the kind of every-man that fits into every clique but actively chooses to join none of them. He’s close with Cam and Holger, he crushes on Tina from a distance, and eventually becomes close with Biffy and Jenny.

And then there’s Brandy.

Lee dismisses Brandy from the get go. Yes, she tells him that they’re dating know because of popularity reasons which is shallow and silly, but other than that he ignores her. Unless he needs something.

Brandy is not worth arguing with or event acknowledging if what she’s doing doesn’t directly affect him.

Whether it’s intentional or not, Lee has this superiority about him that is especially obvious when he interacts with Brandy and Irwin because they actively challenge him. Even with the other cliques we watch him routinely become buddy-buddy with the members in order to get info or get something done, and the he immediately drops them, only interacting with them again to call in a favour here and there. Cam and Holger are the only people we see Lee go out of his way to check on outside of conspiracy things. He often forgets to check in one Tina and we see multiple examples where he only checks on Biffy because he needs Biffy to do something for him. Even in the pilot Lee gets surprisingly upset and frustrated when he thinks Biffy is leading him into a trap or when he thinks Biffy bailed.

Is Lee justified in being paranoid/demanding/stressed since he’s in the middle of/investigating a major conspiracy? I think that allows him some leeway (ha) for sure, but still he’s running the risk of alienating not only the people who care about him but allies who have actively helped him find as much information as he has.

I also don’t think Lee intentionally thinks he’s better than everyone else; he just lacks awareness of other people’s thoughts and feelings. He gets caught up in his own problems and ends up ignoring everyone else.

Brandy actively challenges this behaviour of his. Maybe the relationship started out as shallow, but Double Date is especially effective at showing us that she is actually paying attention, despite her brusque exterior. She respects Lee enough to put some effort in, so it’s only fair that she would expect the same treatment back, but Lee just doesn’t give that.

[neurodiversebones]

I want to hear the ed + recovery thoughts. I want to hear them so badly. I have post notifications on for you and saw your post within a minute because of how much I love your thoughts.

should i be sleeping? yes i have to leave for work in exactly 8 hours (i said when i started this . as im finishing it we are looking at 7 hrs 15 min lol) . but i Have to Talk ! also just letting you know you almost made me CRY with this ask you guys are all genuinely so sweet and kind to me i cannot believe it 💗💐☀ i love you all :-((

OKAY gonna put this under a cut so anyone who doesn't wanna see ed related content can SCROLL AWAY ! gonna avoid being triggering but . protect ur peace and all that <3 also i wanna put out there that this is mostly based on my own experiences with seven years of various eating disorders so if you are reading this and it doesn't fit your idea or perception of ed's that may be why !

ok so the three main characters i have ed-related headcanons for are brennan, angela, and cam (before anyone comments that it's only the women . there is no correlation i promise . i am projecting and these are my Projection Characters .)

i hc brennan as having arfid and orthorexia-- arfid developed for her from a combination of sensory issues with food as well as food-related anxiety from foster care (not always having enough to eat, rarely having any choice in what she ate, food-related punishments within abusive homes). being avoidant is an easy way to ignore the anxiety and stress that comes along with eating, between her sensory issues and the fact that she wasn't given an opportunity to develop much of a healthy relationship with food. orthorexia also developed as a control mechanism, but later in life (around college age). it was the first time since her parents left that she had control over her life, and that included food-- she became very obsessive about what she was putting in her body, because it gave her some of that sense of control back. her obsession with being "healthy" allowed her to feel like she was the one in charge of her body for the first time since she was fifteen.

in regards to recovery, she really didn't realize she had a problem for ages. since she wasn't medically unstable or engaging in super obvious behaviours, she didn't see herself as suffering from an eating disorder at all. it wasn't until sweets pointed out her disordered eating habits that she realized there was anything wrong with what she was doing-- she brought it up to booth, who agreed, which culminated in a fairly major argument as she didn't see anything she was doing as "bad" or disordered, just "healthy" and "in control". after a Real Conversation though, she eventually accepted that she might have some sort of problem and started looking into it more. she is definitely still in recovery, as it is a very slow process after so many years of disordered eating, but she makes an effort to engage in things that scare the disordered part of her brain. her favourite memory in regards to this was getting *real* ice cream for the first time in god knows how long when her and angela were out with the kids <33

my headcanons in regard to angela's ed are very connected to my headcanon that she has bipolar disorder-- many of us with bipolar really struggle with disordered eating and i specifically hc angela as having bulimia. it started when she was a teenager and first starting to experience bipolar episodes-- when manic or depressed, it's incredibly easy to fall into b/p cycles. when she was manic, it was like a form of thrill seeking, and she didn't have the capacity to care for the destruction it was causing, and when depressed, it felt like she was putting her awful feelings into something physical. it was hard to express her emotions through words, so she used her body instead.

i think she entered recovery for the first time in her late teens (around 17) when her mental health hit like . rock bottom and her dad decided that they needed to do something about it. she got the treatment she needed, and also took time away from school to tour with her dad-- exploring the country and having so much time to just sit with her thoughts (especially now that they were a little easier to manage with medication) is what made her start doing art really seriously-- if she couldn't express her hurt with her body anymore, she was going to do it on a page, and she created some of her most beautiful paintings during that time that she is still very proud of to this day. she still has slip ups to this day when she is struggling with her episodes, but with hodgins and brennan she is much more capable of talking through it before it gets to a dangerous point of relapse.

as for cam's ed, i feel this is the one i've talked about the most before bc she is my comfort character in this aspect? i headcanon her to have anorexia, specifically restrictive subtype. for her it's a control and perfectionism thing, as well as a "growing up masking autism" thing. cam has a very perfectionist and obsessive personality type, and it's mostly directed toward herself. everything she does needs to be perfect to be enough, and she needs to feel in control at all times. food is one of the easiest ways to do this-- if she can control her body and the food she consumes, obsess over numbers and physical changes and symptoms, it makes her feel a little more at ease in her life because she feels she has *something* under her control. as for the masking thing, she often masked with hyperfemininity growing up-- she was praised frequently for being a "good girl", and part of keeping up that image was looking the "right" way (aka, thin). if she could keep up this image, people wouldn't notice the things that made her odd or how unnatural everything felt to her. it's another control thing, but with another layer to it.

cam took a *long* time to start real recovery. she had phases where it got less severe, even some to the point where she barely thought about it, but restriction and denial was always still a part of her mentality and routine. it wasn't until arastoo came along that she felt comfortable enough to explain her pain and her thoughts to another person-- she was always too scared to unload on anyone else, so she kept it a secret essentially her entire life. arastoo was the first person she trusted to listen without judgement, and he encouraged her to talk to her other friends and loved ones about it (all of whom were incredibly understanding and supportive). in a similar sense to brennan, recovery is really difficult for her, having struggled for so incredibly long and having her disorder be a part of her daily routine for the majority of her life. however, she tries incredibly hard-- arastoo is teaching her how to cook (she never learned) and she's learning to find the joy in food through that, and allowing herself to relax around it a little more <333

that is all !!!! wow this is so very long lol . i hope you enjoyed this it was cathartic for me

[dynmghts]

Oh? Oh! A chance to love on Cam? How can I pass it up. First of all, one of the most stand-out things about your portrayal is how well you know your muse. You have put Katsuki under a microscope and picked apart his behaviours and attitudes, and you know every little part of him. Your portrayal exudes his character and no matter what the situation I can believe its him. I can see him growing into the moment or recognise when such a thing would have occurred.

The vocabulary choices too they work so well, especially with the character. Your descriptions and use of sentence length emulate his punchiness and ferocity, or the severity of an emotional moment. Honestly I could keep going because your portrayal is my favourite and I very much adore the fact I get to write with you.

CHARLIE ........ YOU BLESS ME ONCE AGAIN WITH UR KIND WORDS ................

see, i usually feel pretty confident with vocabulary and speech writing; it's the one element i seem to have the best understanding for, and i get the way katsuki speaks maybe as a part of the culture i live in. (australia, yknow?) but i'm definitely nowhere near as confident with my mannerism and behavioural writings... i always feel like i fall flat when i'm talking about how katsuki moves, acts, or when i reflect on how he feels through actions - so it means a lot that you think i have that nailed down!

thank you again for sending this in tho !!! i'm forever blessed to have known you and to be able to write with you on this platform fr <3

@resolutepath / WHAT PART OF MY PORTRAYAL...

[zalrb]

the summer i turned pretty 1x07 review -- we have made it to the end!

the way the music is done on this show physically hurts me.

"did i push you into this, you can tell me the truth." "maybe a little at first." "oh my god, we don't have to go tonight if you don't want to" let the scene breathe because when you don't let the scene breathe, when you don't let the characters process the dialogue of the other character it just looks like people saying their lines.

"i'm kind of proud to show everybody" WHY?

belly not knowing who the olsen twins are and then susannah having to be like they're sisters with the scarlet witch WOULD be funny if they let the scene breathe!

"i didn't think you'd notice." "i'm your mother." you do not act like it, laurel. you didn't even know you dissed her when you indirectly called her unfocused and un-driven.

i like how lola's makeup becomes more and more prominent in the shot when she's just supposed to have woken up.

"i know you didn't want me to be a deb." "i didn't but it's just hard to let you go." she's doing a deb ball and it wasn't even her idea so she's not forging out on her own, laurel. jesus. i feel like jess

SHE WILL NOT EAT YOUR MUFFINS.

this twirl dance kiss by the car is the most i've believed jeremiah and belly.

"We just kissed a few times." And he kinda sorta went to second so Belly would be able to put a finger down next time they do a non-drinking Never Have I Ever.

"This affects more than just you." "I KNOW BUT YOU DON'T GET A SAY IN WHO I DATE" but I mean, you do understand his concern? And you do it anyway. And he was right.

Jere: Have you seen me hook up with any guy or girl this summer?

Steven: YES.

Jere:

oh my god, just things that are said and done in this show, if it had a better cast and better writers, it would've been really fun.

awww stevejere breaking up over belly.

"It's not your fault Conrad's a fuck boy"I mean I guess. Nicole has every right to say that but he's mostly been passive with Belly.

Like even when he texts her that he really wants to go with the deb with her, Belly says no because Nicole saw the text and took her clothes and abandoned her, which is fair, but it's not like Conrad was like oops, no, changed my mind. It's because of how he treated Nicole that you're pretending you're over it, Belly.

The one thing he did was pretend he didn't remember when you two almost kissed and it's of course totally valid to try and be done with it after that but they're making it seem like it was a pattern of behaviour and it really wasn't.

Like even the whole thing with the necklace, he hid it from you and you found it while you were snooping in his room and then you brought it up to him, that's all you. If they wanted Conrad to have this be a pattern then he should see her getting closer to Cam and do things consistently like show up at the drive in, sure, but also leave the necklace on her bed no note, no text, no warning and when she confronts him about it he can be like 'it's just a necklace, Belly" or just a shrug then they can even do a callback to the flashback of him teaching her the steps to dance and have him see her try to practice and he's like *rolls eyes* and helps her then they have a charged moment and Nicole comes and he just leaves her then they have the almost kiss then that would be Conrad actively being a fuck boy to Belly.

She's not wrong and she learns NOTHING from this. She just gets WORSE.

Belly, five minutes later:

What exactly is Laurel's growth supposed to be this season?

OK thank u next is the perfect song for the plot of this fucking show and they WASTED IT on THIS FUCKING SCENE. SHE'S JUST GETTING READY FOR THE DEB BALL? SHE ISN'T EVEN DANCING WITH ONE OF THE BROTHERS AND THEN SWITCHING BETWEEN THEM MIDWAY THROUGH FOR WHATEVER REASON? SHE'S NOT STANDING WAITING TO BE INTRODUCED AND SHE SEES CONRAD IN THE DISTANCE AND THEN JEREMIAH COMES INTO FRAME BLOCKING HIM AND HE ESCORTS HER? BRO EVEN THAT FUCKING MUFFIN SCENE WOULD'VE BEEN A BETTER SCENE THAN THIS. I AM IRRATIONALLY ANGRY ABOUT THIS.

I thought I was done but I'm not. It doesn't even go with the voiceover about how girls have to wait until someone tells them they're pretty and they can't just feel it for themselves but it'll bullshit. They're playing a song about boys during THIS voiceover?? Bad Girls by MIA would've been better HERE THAN A FUCKING VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT. i hate this show.

You're also supposed to say who she's escorted by.

"You're a goddess." I wish it was Steven who said that to Shayla.

I get that this whole scene is supposed to show a) the diversity of the deb ball scene now because there's Shayla, Steven, and Belly, an interracial duo (Black guy/white girl) and a girl who brought her girlfriend b) highlighting the different accomplishments of these female characters because girl power but this is way too long. There should be drama at least brewing in the background.

"There were always three people in our marriage, Laurel." Susannah and Laurel don't even seem that close. If I'm not getting this

then don't waste my time with dialogue.

Like, this is too late

him saying it, what, last episode? is also too late. This should be threaded throughout with more than Susannah just sleeping a lot and she's not even sleeping that much throughout the season. It should effectively be like when Elena keeps seeing signs that Stefan is a vampire and it's building and building and building. Jeremiah should be getting more suspicious and Conrad should be going further and further off the deep end.

This escort dance is long.

"I GREW UP IN THE SUBURBS IN PHILLY AND NOT EVEN THAT NICE OF A SUBURB. I DRIVE A HONDA CIVIC." This is the most privileged rant, Steven, you're as insufferable as Belly here, dude.

"I think I love you" she's great but you're ridiculous.

"Connie, Connie, have you seen your brother?" Have you seen him leave this table, Susannah?

Conrad's funny though, you didn't even TRY to look for him. ARE YOU TWO BROTHERS?

Of course. A Taylor Swift song. I don't know why they would choose THIS one though. IT DOESN'T GO. I know the lyrics are supposed to be their relationship even though we don't actually see them scream and fight but that's not the song you play when he steps up and IS her knight in shining armour. I don't listen to her at all and I know she has a better song for this moment.

The instrumental to "At last" is the only song that matches the scene in this whole fucking show.

If there's ANYTHING at all I can say is that Belly manages to look regal while she dances.

Sorry, Jere, it was the worst time to figure out that your mom has cancer.

See, and this whole thing of Conrad already knowing is supposed to be a bunch of things coming together and exploding when Jeremiah punches him but it hasn't been treated like a powder keg throughout the season, it's way too passive. In The O.C. it's a whole thing when Luke (Marissa's ex boyfriend who cheated on her with her best friend whose father punched her father at cotillion) and Julie (Marissa's mom) are hooking up because it's only a matter of time before they get caught, and it's active: before they hook up hook up, he's showing up to her house

and keeps showing up then they hook up

when they do hook up, he wants to make out with her IN SCHOOL

they're flirting in public

she's lying about hickies. Luke is getting more and more attached and she has to keep finding excuses as to why Marissa's ex boyfriend is always around

like they're going to get caught.

and when they do get caught it's by Ryan and Seth

and then that episode is Ryan just being like YOU HAVE TO END THINGS WITH JULIE COOPER, LUKE and getting Marissa out of town so he can do it

and that's a whole other thing because Marissa and Ryan have broken up and she tried to get back together with him and he rejected her and now they're finding some sort of normalcy together even though she wants to be with him and it's starting to feel like old times

that when Marissa finds out about her ex boyfriend and her mother and finds out that her ex boyfriend who she actually loves knew and didn't tell her and seemingly only acted the way he was acting to distract her,

it's an OH SHIT moment.

this is WAY too passive, way too quiet, way too boring.

And I still would've said too little too late if Susannah collapsed at the ball with the same trajectory we've been having but it would've made more of an impact if she and Jere were dancing their one dance that she saved for him like he asked and she collapsed in the middle of it and he's FREAKING OUT and Conrad rushes over and knows immediately what was going on and Jere found out that way and if you wanted to add even more tension to that situation Jere could freeze or start asking questions or break down and cry and basically be like what happened at the volleyball game and Conrad is like AND YOU WONDER WHY I DIDN'T TELL YOU? YOU'D FALL APART. which would also drive home Jere's resentment of Conrad in season 2 where he's like you thought I was weak but I was at home with mom while you were at school so fuck you and maybe they get into a squabble and then because it's all about Belly, Belly can come and be like WE NEED TO BE HERE FOR SUSANNAH STOP ARGUING.

Idk man I need some drama in my teen dramas.

it kills me it KILLS ME that she gets WORSE

when anon came into my inbox with this exact quote I didn't realize Belly ACTUALLY said this. BRO.

You know what would make more of an impact? If Susannah was comforting Belly and Steven and Laurel was comforting Jere and Conrad, if they're supposed to be SO close.

Susannah, THAT'S YOUR SON.

This is the most MONOTONOUS confession and he's PARROTING her lines oh lord.

Belly, you're shitty for this. Jere called you a goddess like 2 hours ago.

Anyway, my reviews have finally come to an end.

[h-worksrambles]

The fact that Brian is the only character from Echo who returns to have a major role in Arches is kind of genius.

On a surface level, it’s such a deliciously evil way to mess with returning fans. When you hear that a story you love is getting a sequel, you kinda hope that you’ll see your favourite characters again. Maybe you were hoping you’d see an older Leo, Carl, or TJ? Flynn’s ending in Echo even teased the idea of Devon and Cameron meeting Chase. Instead, Howly went ‘oh you want returning characters? Well here you go!’ before going full monkey’s paw and bringing back the last character anyone would want to see: the terrifying predatory serial killer.

But there’s another layer to why this works, and not just because, logistically, he’s one of the only people still there. See, the thing is, fan favourites they might be but, thematically, it would be wrong to bring the main cast back. Echo was a game about a broken friend group, this set of wounded people all tied to the past, trapped in their own heads. We saw them grapple with supernatural forces that played with their worst fears. This could turn out in any number of good or bad ways based on the endings but ultimately there was hope for all of them. Leo was taunted with a false image of his old life and lost love. Carl grappled with the most monstrous aspects of his family legacy and the expectations that came with it, in turn battling his own insecurities. Jenna faced her lingering feelings of anger and resentment towards her abusive upbringing, and learned to let go. Ideally, you’d want these characters to be far away from Echo, somewhere they can heal and move on .

And then you have Brian. Brian is the best expression of the worst outcome of the themes of the whole series. Like Chase, he had blood on his hands, and the supernatural hysteria of the town torments them both over what they’ve done. But Chase has the capacity to either repeat history, swallowed up by the unearthly forces feeding on his trauma, or else support his friends and change for the better, depending on the route or ending. Brian however can’t, or won’t, do so. He commits the same murders over and over again to distract himself from the influence of the town. He’s only moving in circles. Repeating the same destructive and self-destructive behaviour over and over again.

The title image of Arches is immediately portrayed as negative. It’s the symbol of Cameron’s grief. A reminder of the loss of his mother, and his fear of losing himself to addiction the same way his mother lost herself. That being said, a lot of people have pointed out the other significance of an arch. It’s a broken circle, a direct response to the main motif of the first game. It feels like it’s setting up a theme of breaking out of harmful cycles. It’s what Cam wants to do on a personal level to escape his past, and it’s what he may have to do to put an end to Echo’s cycle, to save himself and Dev.

Brian IS that cycle, the symbol of the curse of Echo, one that, in coming to this dead town. Cameron and Devon are now forced to confront. As of the latest update, Cam had now seen visions of Brian’s former victims. He’s digging through the horrifying history of Brian himself, and the town as a whole. Will this end with Brian’s disgusting acts of violence brought to an end? Will we see Echo’s circle finally broken? Well, that’s up to Howly I guess. But with Arches reaching its conclusion, and likely only a few more builds to go until the end, we’ll soon know one way or another.

[grigori77]

Movies of 2023 - My Summer Rundown (Part 2)

10.  HOW TO BLOW UP A PIPELINE – it’s always nice when a sharp little indie banger sneaks in under the radar to place impressively high on one of my lists for the year, and this impressive critically acclaimed underdog thriller is definitely shaping up as one of this year’s most memorable examples.  Treading very different ground from the likes of To Catch a Killer, this is a very low-fi, gritty down-and-dirty procedural slice-of-life thriller about a motley collection of eco-terrorists banding together to sabotage an oil pipeline in West Texas, focusing almost entirely on this core group of disillusioned youths played by eight uniformly EXCEPTIONAL actors each handing in genuine (ahem) dynamite performances.  Ariele Barer (Marvel’s Runaways), The Revenant’s Forrest Goodluck, American Honey’s Sasha Lane and Marcus Scribner (probably best known as the voice of She-Ra & the Princesses of Power’s Bow) are the undeniable stand-outs here, but all of these kids are ON FIRE throughout, showing they’ve got truly BRIGHT futures ahead of them indeed, while Irene Bedard (Smoke Signals) also impresses in a supporting turn as Joanna, an FBI agent who may be onto their plans … the film bounces about between the varying points of view of the characters, gradually unveiling their motivations to commit a morally complex terrorist act through a series of scattered flashbacks punctuating the planning, execution and aftermath of the bombing itself, with writer-director Daniel Goldhaber (Cam, here co-adapting Andreas Maim’s incendiary non-fiction novel with Ariele Barer herself and Cam’s co-writer Jordan Sjol) weaving a suitably taut and atmospheric slowburn path throughout the flawlessly executed narrative, the film brilliantly building its wire-taut tension to a rewardingly cathartic climax which is as provocative as the film’s challenging subject matter.  This is a film that asks some VERY BIG QUESTIONS and delivers some suitably complicated and rightfully TROUBLING answers, a razor sharp piece of indie cinema which definitely deserves the critical acclaim and guaranteed future cult hit status it’s already earning …

9.  THE FLASH – oh boy … yeah, this one is gonna be a COMPLICATED talk, I just know it.  This was one TROUBLED project from day one, from the major shake-ups surrounding the Joss Whedon-compromised Justice League film and the subsequent mess THAT unleashed, through the whole conflicting debate over Zack Snyder’s original vision for the DCEU, and then the eventual collapse of the Cinematic Universe itself, this film, originally entitled Flashpoint (which personally I like A WHOLE LOT more, actually, since it really does pay DIRECT reference to the actually storyline they went with) went through a whole collection of incarnations and reiterations and, for a while, it was starting to look like we might NEVER see it hit our cinema screens at all … and that’s without even mentioning star Ezra Miller’s ongoing legal troubles and essential CANCELLING after their continued outrageous, unacceptable off-set behaviour, which looked set to torpedo the film all on its own. 

Honestly, I have to admit I was MYSELF a little wary going in, not because of these particular problems but more just the prospect of what I would actually do if, in spite of all this, I actually still LIKED IT … unfortunately for me, that was VERY MUCH the case, which is why we’re here in the first place.  But I must forge on, and so I’m gonna just take this film on ITS OWN face value and ignore the external problems … at least until THE END of the review … because The Flash is, actually, pretty fucking GREAT.  Barry Allen (Miller) is finally coming into his own as a fully-fledged member of the Justic League, even if this does frequently mean he’s kind of cleaning up the extreme messes that are left behind when Batman/Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) gets involved in a particularly BIG potential world-shattering event, as brilliantly illustrated in the film’s suitably SPECTACULAR opening set-piece, which does a BEAUTIFUL job of not only letting us know EXACTLY what this incarnation of the Flash is actually capable of, but also revealing Barry’s own distinctly unique, offbeat and, frankly, really rather ADORABLE personal style of superheroism.  Then the plot itself kicks off when Barry’s father Henry (Ron Livingstone), serving life in prison for the wrongly-convicted murder of Barry’s mother Nora (Pan’s Labyrinth’s wonderful Maribel Verdu), sees his latest (and, it looks like, FINAL) appeal fall flat due to a crucial new piece of evidence turning out to be useless, and Barry decides he's had enough of ignoring a particularly potent aspect of his superpowers – the ability to run SO FAST that he can actually GO BACK IN TIME!!!  So he races back to the day of his mother’s death and tweaks circumstances so that she survives, only for Barry to then get punted off track before he can return to the present by an unknown entity within “the Speedforce” which then lands him in 2013, just days before Earth’s invasion by the hostile Kryptonian forces of General Zod (Michael Shannon), as seen in Man of Steel.  Still with us so far? Yeah, well it gets EVEN MORE complicated, cuz it turns out that, while his mum is now STILL ALIVE, Barry hasn’t got his powers in this universe, which means that he has to reform the Justice League himself in THIS timeline in order to defeat Zod.  Except that there are FAR MORE consequences to messing with time than Barry ever took into account set to make things all but insurmountably complicated for him to succeed …

beyond this we’re getting into DANGEROUS spoiler territory, beyond the fact that these new developments give rise to whole fresh and very complicated ideas of alternative universes somewhat akin to what the MCU’s already started experimenting with (which is also, actually, something that the DC comics universe does ALL THE BLOODY TIME), which gives rise to whole new incarnations of beloved characters from the established DCEU, some of which HAVE already been revealed in the trailers and beyond, but others not so much, so … yeah, anyway, it’s a glorious MESS of a narrative, but somehow this film does a REALLY IMPRESSIVE job of navigating this jumble in an impressively coherent and breezy way that ultimately makes this a whole lot of fun to watch, actually.  Of course, the lion’s share of the praise for this HAS TO go to screenwriter Christina Hodson (Birds of Prey & the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) for wrangling the UNHOLY MESS of development done for the previous incarnations into an actual WORKING script, which was then brought to life with suitably brave and adventurous SKILL by director Andy Muschietti (Mama and It Chapter One and Two), but the uniformly EXCEPTIONAL cast shoulder a good deal of that responsibility too – Miller may be problematic in real life, but there can be no denying that he is FUCKING BRILLIANT in the role here, crafting a hyperactive, ultra-awkward social misfit of a superhero that us various underdog kids just can’t help rooting for, while it is a MASSIVE pleasure to get to see MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE Batman return to the role as this AU’s altered version of Bruce Wayne, the legendary Michael Keaton himself finally getting to prove why he really is THE VERY BEST VERSION of the character out there (and I will accept NO ARGUMENT AT ALL about that, I swear you can all FIGHT ME on this particular hill upon which I am determined to DIE if I must), and Livingstone and Verdu bring an IMMENSE amount of pathos to their characters throughout which makes it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR why Barry tries SO HARD to save them both, and it’s also great fun getting to see Michael Shannon back as the Big Bad here again, I always really liked this spectacular scenery-chewing version of Zod. 

For me, though, the biggest win here has to be The Young & the Restless’ Sasha Calle, making her big screen debut as the most impressive and DCEU-consistent incarnation of Kara Zor-El, aka SUPERGIRL, that we could ever have hoped for.  She’s a truly AWESOME creation, EASILY as badass as Henry Cavill’s Supes but also a good deal more complex as a character too.  Ultimately it’s a shame that circumstances mean that we likely won’t get to see more of her in future projects, much like Keaton’s returning Batman, as they’re definitely the unexpected heart and soul of the film, easily delivering in the most impressively iconic set-pieces and memorable character beats.  Indeed, this is SO BLOODY BRILLIANT all round as a film – from its spectacular action sequences, through its frequent gleefully anarchic screwball humour, to a variety of impressively jaw-dropping game-changer twists in the narrative – that the fact that the DCEU itself is essentially over and all of this means PRECISELY ZERO in the face of where it’s all going in James Gunn’s incoming Cinematic Universe reboot makes this feel all the more ultimately pointless, which lends any viewing a bittersweet aftertaste no matter HOW enjoyable it all is.  I mean granted, it’s NOT perfect (there is, famously, some pretty clunky CGI that ALMOST takes you out of the experience, especially in the late sequence when we see the timelines start to collide), but then very few of the DCEU movies HAVE BEEN anyway, and this one still essentially works just fine for what it is.  So it may not have any actual VALUE for the series moving forward, but it’s still a really great movie that MORE THAN deserves to be seen for its own merits, and I highly recommend you give it a chance anyway.  At least Gunn and co have seen the sense to keep Muschietti onboard for their reboot (namely helming the new DCU’s Batman reboot The Brave & the Bold), and if they’ve any more sense they’ll bring Christina Hodson back for more too …

8.  THEY CLONED TYRONE – while cinemas may finally be properly getting back into the full swing of things now, with many of the big budget offerings that were long delayed by COVID finally emerging to fill up the year’s international moviegoing calendar, streaming services don’t seem to be letting that slow their own steam (granted, it’ll be interesting to see how things look in a year’s time, when the fallout from the Writers Guild and SAG-AFTRA strikes really starts to hit, but I’m not about to get into THAT debate here), and Netflix is no exception, still leading the pack with their Original filmmaking offerings.  BY FAR the most interesting, original and downright FIENDISHLY INGENIOUS offering they’ve landed so far this year HAS TO BE this thoroughly unique sci-fi satire from up-and-coming screenwriter Juel Taylor (Creed II, Space Jam: A New Legacy), who makes his feature directing debut here in truly BLINDING fashion.  The concept itself is an absolute belter, although while the title may sound DECIDEDLY spoiler-heavy already, it’s actually just the very tip of the iceberg, and giving much of anything about the plot away would reveal some pretty key twists to anybody who didn’t already see the trailer.  So if you DON’T wanna get spoiled, just rest assured this is a PHENOMENAL FILM and it really MUST BE SEEN, and just check it out good and cold … still here?  Okay then … John Boyega continues to stretch his legs away from Star Wars as Fontaine, a mid-level drug dealer in a suburban ghetto simply known as The Glen who’s gunned down in a turf dispute, only to wake up unharmed the next day with no recollection of said events.  As he investigates this uncanny twist, he ropes in the dubious help of two acquaintances – pimp Slick Charles (Jamie Foxx) and hooker Yo-Yo (If Beale Street Could Talk and The Marvels’ Teyonah Parris) – only to discover a dark and twisted labyrinthine conspiracy that stretches far beyond the urban confines of their beleaguered neighbourhood.

The results are one of the slickest and most brain-bakingly twisted chunks of speculative science fiction I’ve come across in a good long while, constantly throwing the viewer narrative curve balls while posing a dizzying series of moral and socially critical thematic quandaries, all the while presenting a brilliantly off-beat reimagining of classic “blaxploitation” tropes (indeed this is among the very best examples of this quirky little sub-genre I’ve EVER come across).  It’s also got a LETHALLY devious sense of humour to it, beautifully subverting expectations to bring a delightfully skewed inner-city slice-of-life POV to proceedings which it then mines for the purest nuggets of comedy gold it can find.  That being said, there are times it also gets pretty dark too – while it’s never particularly violent or harrowing (despite some of the obvious elements of its subject matter), the way the conspiracy itself unfolds as its monstrous nature is revealed gets truly existentially terrifying at times, and in the current political climate feels a little TOO possible … and then there’s the cast, who tie everything together PERFECTLY, the three leads in particular taking what could have been a joke set-up trio of the genre’s classic trope archetypes and invest them with genuine heart, soul and complex nuance – Boyega is endearingly vulnerable and effortlessly likeable as our sort-of hero, while Foxx brings both requisite quirky charisma and surprising deeply-hidden sympathy to what’s usually one of the most classically despicable character tropes out there, but the real STAR here is Parris, who effortlessly steals the film out from under her peers as a smart, plucky and brilliantly resourceful amateur sleuth who’s frequently miles ahead of everybody else as the mystery unfolds around them; meanwhile Kieffer Sutherland brings delightfully sleazy “cracker” energy as Nixon, the brutally amoral bureaucrat nominally in charge of this nefarious far-reaching plot.  Taylor handles proceedings with admirable skill and an impressively artful visual flair while crafting one of the years most intriguing and thought-provoking films so far, and immediately marks himself as a clear rising star with a hell of a lot of one-to-watch potential for the future.  I look forward to whatever it is he does next …

7.  BLUE BEETLE – as for moving the big screen DCU moving forward, here’s a project that, apparently, is actually making the leap from old to new very much in one piece.  Despite being long developed as a flagship film for the original DCEU, Gunn has folded this cinematic origin story for the second generation of one of the DC Universe’s lesser known (but still suitably iconic) superheroes into his new vision.  Which basically means that THIS, right here, is our first real taste of what’s to come in the NEW vision … and, if I’m honest, if this IS a good indicator, then I’m actually all for it.  Marking the big break of up-and-coming Puerto Rican filmmaker Angel Manuel Soto (who made a small but potent impact with his feature debut Charm City Kings), this is also EXTREMELY notable for being the first major studio movie about a Latino superhero, namely Jaime Reyes (Cobra Kai’s Xolo Mariduena), an impoverished young pre-law graduate from the fictional metropolis of Palmera City’s Edge Keys who finds himself essentially FORCED into taking up the long-vacated mantle of the new Blue Beetle after accidentally symbiotically bonding with a mysterious alien superweapon system simply known as the Scarab.  Unfortunately, this device is being zealously sought by psychopathic weapons corporation CEO Victoria Kord (Susan Sarandon), who wants to use its unique programming as the basis for her world-changing OMAC weapon system, and she’ll do ANYTHING to get hold of it … that’s really all you need to know about the story, the film proving to be a welcomely lean and impressively streamlined classic archetypal hero’s journey original story which also EFFORTLESSLY sets up all we need to know moving forward into what are, I’m sure, gonna be some EVEN MORE impressive adventures once the DCU proper gets off the ground, and the end result makes for one of the year’s most genuinely ENJOYABLE superhero movies.  Mariduena makes for an endearing young hero here, investing Jaime with wide-eyed innocence and precociously earnest charm that belie some pure steel when he has to learn to man up and get in the fight for real, and the rest of the Reyes clan are similarly well established here too, particularly wildly popular stand-up comedian George Lopez (who here shows he has ONE HELL of a high pitched scream) as conspiracy nut Uncle Rudy and Hocus Pocus 2’sBelissa Escobedo as Jaime’s sweet, acerbic and FANTASTICALLY sassy little sister Milagro, while almost IMPOSSIBLY beautiful Brazilian actress Bruna Marquezine thoroughly impresses as Victoria’s granddaughter Jenny, the tough and resourceful daughter of original Blue Beetle Ted Kord.  And then there’s the villains, and OH MY GODS does this film pay off BIG TIME by genuinely OUTPERFORMING when it comes to the all-important job of giving the hero suitably heavyweight antagonists by providing us with a pair of genuine STARS here – Sarandon is frequently downright CHILLING as a stony PSYCHOPATH who doesn’t care about ANYTHING but making her own twisted, perverse technological dream a reality, while Apocalypto’s very memorable Big Bad Raoul Max Trujillo handles the muscular side of things with consummate professionalism and brooding feral intensity as her pet special forces killer Ignacio Carapax, the recipient of the OMAC prototype and therefore, essentially, Jaime’s first nemesis. 

There’s some INCREDIBLE action on offer here, the visual effects delivering magnificently to bring the Scarab AND OMAC’s versatile capabilities out in fine style, but for the most part this is a film which rides high on a glorious mixture of good old fashioned light-hearted humour and a massive dollop of emotional heft and pure HEART, delivering some genuinely POWERFUL heartbreaking character beats once things get REAL before finally paying off in a wonderfully cathartic old fashioned Hollywood happy ending.  In many ways this film feels almost like a THROWBACK to simpler times, but it also paves the way impressively well for the future of the franchise if Gunn and co are INDEED intent on following this formula moving forward.  Certainly this is a prime example of how to do a bright and cheerful primary coloured superhero movie WELL, and I look forward to plenty more of the Blue Beetle when they finally get their shit together again …

6.  EXTRACTION 2 – back in 2020, when the Pandemic was really ramping up and not only the Summer but the whole year’s cinematic calendar looked like it was going in the toilet, the streaming services stepped up and took up the slack in fine style, and none carried more of the weight than Netflix with their Original Films.  One of the year’s most impressive offerings was the fascinating team-up of MCU filmmaking heavyweights the Russo Brothers, who produced and co-wrote the first Extraction, an unadulterated two-hour adrenaline shot of an action movie that blew all our socks off and announced to the world that debuting stuntman-turned-director Sam Hargrave was going to be a proper future star in his own right in the most demanding of cinematic genres.  Needless to say Netflix was IMMEDIATELY clamouring for more, just like the rest of us, so Hargrave and co returning with this equally blistering non-stop thrill-ride of a follow-up was a genuine no-brainer.  Thor himself Chris Hemsworth returns as former Australian special forces soldier-turned mercenary hostage extraction expert Tyler Rake, battling to recover from his near-death experience at the end of the first film in order to rescue Ketevan Radiani (Abigail’s Tinatin Dalakishvili), the sister of his ex-wife Mia (Olga Kurylenko), and her children from the brutal Georgian prison they’re trapped in alongside Ketevan’s monstrous husband, Davit (Tornike Bziava), who’s facing a ten year stretch for his crimes as a bigshot in the Georgian mafia.  Except that during the breakout Tyler’s forced to kill Davit, which sets the whole mafia, led by his furious brother Zurab (Tornike Gogrichiani), hot on their heels … like its predecessor, this is a film that, after taking a little time to set things up, hits the ground running with one INSANE action sequence on top of another and keeps going like that for pretty much the entirety of its remaining runtime, Hargrave and his RIDICULOUSLY hard-working and committed stunt teams delivering some of the year’s most spectacular set-pieces as they constantly up the ante on EVERYTHING they did in the first film. 

Once again the absolute highlight is a genuinely INSANE unbroken single-shot sequence that takes at least twenty minutes all told to tell its mesmerising story, and this set piece alone really is the equal to anything we got in the John Wock movies.  Hemsworth once again proves that he really IS the God of Thunder even when he ISN’T playing Thor, kicking arse and taking names like few other action heroes are capable of doing, but this time it's an absolute JOY to actually get to see returning co-stars Golshifteh Farahani (Body of Lies, Paterson, Invasion) and, in particular, Adam Bessa (The Blessed, Mosul, Harka) both get a MUCH bigger slice of the action themselves as brother and sister Nik and Yaz Khan, Tyler’s trusted mercenary partners, both proving as viciously lethal in action as our main protagonist; Gogrichiani, meanwhile, makes for an agreeably FERAL villain as a grieving butcher determined to get blood for blood no matter the cost, while Dalakshvili tugs hard on our heartstrings as a desperate mother willing to go to extraordinary lengths to keep her children safe.  Altogether this is another undeniable POWERHOUSE action thriller, relentlessly effective and blissfully engaging from start to finish, and in many ways it’s EASILY an improvement on the first film.  Needless to say a third film is ALREADY in development, and after this I’m SUPREMELY confident it should be just as much worth the wait …

5.  GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, VOL. 3 – time for the obligatory MCU entry, then … but for once, this doesn’t feel like I’m trying to dress up a pig, either – YET AGAIN writer-director James Gunn has proven that he is, quite simply, THE BEST, most consistently ON-FUCKING-FIRE filmmaker working in the franchise, which perhaps makes the fact that he’s now OFFICIALLY jumping ship to permanently defect to DC particularly bittersweet, I guess.  This is WITHOUT A DOUBT the very best MCU movie since Captain America: Civil War, and it couldn’t have come along at a better time since the series has been in SUCH a tough spot of late … anyway, the worst, least reliable, most unrepentantly despicable bunch of space-faring, for-hire A-HOLES in the entire galaxy are back, now set up full time in their base of operations in Knowhere and looking to get back to business now the Universe has finally gotten over all that unpleasant post-Thanos Snap fallout.  But the crew themselves are still suffering some lingering after-effects from that shake-up, particularly Peter Quill/Star Lord (Chris Pratt), who’s a pretty much permanently drunk, despondent, emotionally broken MESS since the Gamora (Zoe Saldana) who came back after Endgame ain’t HIS Gamora, which leaves Rocket (Bradley Cooper) and Nebula (Karen Gillen) propping things up in his essential absence as the current nominal leaders of the crew.  This shaky status quo is then torn asunder when an explosively violent encounter with the Sovereign’s new superpowered agent of vengeance Adam Warlock (The Maze Runner’s Will Poulter) leaves Knowhere in chaos and Rocket badly injured and in need of urgent emergency care due to a previously undiscovered proprietary kill-switch built into his cybernetic implants making it impossible for them to heal him without killing him, leading them to enter into an uneasy alliance with Gamora in order to steal an override code from Rocket’s creator, the High Evolutionary (Peacemaker’s Chukwudi Iwuji), a megalomaniacal evil genius obsessed with manufacturing a perfect race in order to populate his envisioned utopian civilisation.  Not only is this one of the very best films in the entire MCU canon to date, but it’s EASILY the best in Gunn’s trilogy, essentially a pitch perfect shake-up reinvention of the classic overblown science fiction space opera archetype which also pays immense respect to the fascinating core group of characters it’s helped to introduce cinemagoing audiences to. 

It’s also a film expressly about ROCKET himself, even though he doesn’t actually have all that much screentime here, spending much of the film fighting for his life in the sick bay, but we’re treated to extensive flashbacks to his origin story as he was created, refined and essentially brought up by the High Evolutionary, and found his first makeshift found family among his fellow pieced-together cyber-augmented animals, sweet and gentle otter Lyla (Linda Cardellini), wheeled goofball walrus Teefs (Click & Collect’s Asim Chaudry) and spider-limbed bundle of hyperactivity rabbit Floor (The Suicide Squad’s Mikaela Hoover), who are the cutest bunch of anthropomorphic critters you could possibly imagine and, as a result, responsible for some of the biggest feels (and BY FAR the most thoroughly devastating emotion sledgehammer moments) in the entire movie.  Needless to say Cooper is on top form throughout, as are the rest of the eclectic, irreverent and absolutely TOP DRAWER cast – while you may still be making unfair jokes about him being “the Worst Chris”, I think this is the best performance Pratt has EVER put in, he’s an absolute REVELATION in this one, plumbing previously unfathomed depths of raw intensity and naked vulnerability as Quill is forced to get over his shit in order to save his best friend, Saldana gets to bring a much darker and more edgy, unhinged take to Gamora to the one we’re previously used to, Gillen finally completes Nebula’s redemption arc to bring her fully into the realm of true HERO, and Dave Bautista and Pom Klementieff, as Drax and Mantis, continue to be THE ABSOLUTE FUNNIEST, most full-on unapologetically HILARIOUS agents of chaos in this entire trilogy, all while getting to further expand and develop their own characters too … and, of course, Vin Diesel once again brings a hell of a lot of range to just three words as walking talking tree Groot; meanwhile it’s also nice to see other returning faces get plenty to do again, such as Sean Gunn’s endearingly prickly former Ravager Kraglin, Elizabeth Debicki’s bitchy Sovereign despot Aisha, the GOTG Holiday Special’s fan favourite Cosmo the Space Dog (again adorably voiced by Bodies Bodies Bodies and Fairyland’s Maria Bakalova), and even Sylvester Stallone, returning from GOTG 2 as mighty Ravager hero Stakar Ogord.  Then of course, there are the series newcomers, who bring their own brands of intriguing new charm to proceedings, particularly Poulter, who does a fantastic job of taking a truly badass, virtually unstoppable supreme being like Adam Warlock and then essentially makes him a thoroughly clueless, emotionally immature man-baby who largely doesn’t have a clue what’s going on half the time, Gunn-regular Nathan Fillion, stealing every one of his scenes in another brilliantly arch comedic cameo, and, of course, Iwuji, who brings us what HAS TO BE the trilogy’s VERY BEST villain, investing the High Evolutionary with a supremely entitled sense of moral superiority and truly monstrous ego while simultaneously managing to make him a genuinely credible intellectual THREAT to our heroes.  Needless to say, this amazing cast are just part of the precisely concocted recipe that’s brought this franchise highlight to such exquisite life, Gunn and co creating a pitch perfect sci-fi adventure chock full of action, suspense, thrills, wonderfully weird new extra-terrestrial locales, yet another gold calibre eclectic soundtrack, a TRULY MASSIVE amount of winning humour and a genuinely humongous dollop of pure, unadulterated FEELS.  Congratulations James Gunn, you made me cry again.  TWICE, damn you.  And I love you for it …

4.  NIMONA – we almost didn’t get this year’s most important animated feature.  When Disney acquired Twentieth Century Fox and everything went tits up for its various affiliates, animation house Blue Sky Studios bit the dust just as this long-awaited adaptation of influential She-Ra & the Princesses of Power showrunner ND Stevenson’s beloved fantastical graphic novel from Spies In Disguise directors Nick Bruno and Troy Quaine was nearing completion, and it looked like it might never see the light of day … at least until Annapurna Pictures and Netflix swooped in to the rescue, snapping it up, funding its completion and getting it out on streaming to the delight of all of us who’d thought it was essentially LOST.  The end result is just about THE VERY BEST movie I’ve ever seen about the struggles being non-binary and not conforming to any set gender identity in modern society, viewed through the fantasy prism of a shapeshifting “teenage girl” who effortlessly steals her own film.  Chloe Grace Moretz is perfectly cast as the voice of the titular misfit anarchist troublemaker supernatural being, who finds an opportunity for some fresh chaos by joining forces with Ballister Boldheart (Riz Ahmed), a newly-knighted commoner who becomes public enemy number one after being viciously framed for the murder of the queen of a futuristic medieval society built around chivalry and the righteous smiting of monsters.  Ballister’s determined to prove his innocence, while Nimona just wants to create havoc, while they’re both being hunted by his former fellow knights, led by his ex-boyfriend Ambrosius Goldenloin (Eugene Lee Yang of The Try Guys), a direct descendent of the Kingdom’s legendary original monster slaying heroine Gloreth.  It’s a gloriously original piece of work, the animation presented in a truly GORGEOUS brightly coloured 2-dimensional 3D graphic style that at once riffs on the ingenious visual inventiveness of the Spider-Verse movies while also creating something COMPLETELY NEW but also simultaneously lovably reminiscent of the classic Blue Sky cartoony look, while the frequently chaotic action is just as infectiously anarchic as the lead character herself.  It’s also fiendishly brilliant in its subversive message and twisty logic, making the viewer question what being a monster REALLY means, and if what we see someone as REALLY IS their true identity.  Needless to say, Moretz THOROUGHLY runs away with the whole film, while the character of Nimona herself is a truly ENCHANTING and thoroughly inspiring creation that’s destined to become an iconic hero for non-binary and trans kids around the world, but Ahmed and Yang are also both clearly having a great time here too, as is Frances Conroy as the Director of the Kingdom’s knights, clearly having a blast bringing icy menace to her deliciously duplicitous villainous turn.  It’s an incredibly FUN movie, shot through with a rich and rewardingly infectious sense of humour, taking classic fantasy tropes and turning them on their head in new and wonderfully inventive ways, but it knows JUST when to get serious too, and there are some truly powerful moments when it takes hold of your heart and just DESTROYS YOU emotionally, especially in the incredibly evocative climax. 

Ultimately this ISN’T an overly faithful adaptation of Stevenson’s original graphic novel – he was in a darker place when he wrote and drew it, going through his own complicated struggle with his gender identity before finally making his personal transition last year – but it certainly is rewardingly true to the book’s spirit and deep-down message of inclusion, positivity and being true to your core identity, which makes it one of the most important animated films to be made in a very long time indeed.  I’m so happy this film’s receiving the TRULY MASSIVE amount of attention and LOVE it’s being garnering since its release, and I thank Netflix and everybody else who made the effort to get this movie out after all when Disney seemed so reluctant to take a chance on it after all.  This deserves to be seen, it NEEDS to be seen, and I urge you to check it out.

3.  SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE – the most exciting animated feature of the last DECADE getting a sequel was pretty much a no-brainer, but it didn’t make the wait any easier, and after COVID put a dent in so many of the big releases coming forward this was definitely one of the most painful delays for me.  Finally getting to see it was, therefore, ONE HELL of a cathartic release of tension, so much that even later discovering that not everything was exactly GOOD in the production studios at the time (namely the animators being crunched LIKE CRAZY by the ever-shifting nature of the vision they were being asked to realise, leading to a toxic working environment for many, which is NEVER cool) still didn’t dent my truly AWED appreciation for the finished film.  Seriously, this is THE BEST animated feature we’ve seen this year, ARE LIKELY TO SEE this year, and ALREADY a strong candidate for the best animated feature of this decade (although that’s likely to change if the incoming sequel turns out to be as good, if not BETTER, which it probability WILL).  Honestly, I could end the review right here just with that recommendation, it’s GENUINELY THAT GOOD, people.  But I still got a job to do here, so … once again, Miles Morales (Dope’s Shameik Moore), the new Spider-Man in his world, is at the centre of a whirlwind of narrative chaos as a new arch-nemesis he never knew he had emerges to hold him to account for what he did when he destroyed the Kingpin’s interdimensionally destructive supercollider in the first film – the Spot (Jason Schwartzman), a former scientist at Alchemax who got turned into a walking mass of unstable wormholes when he got hit with the full brunt of all that quantum energy.  As he embarks on his quest to take his misguided revenge on Miles, his interdimensional spree of carnage leads our Spider-Man to become connected with a Multiverse-spanning cadre of Spider-People, led by the spectacularly stern Spider-Man of Earth 2099, Miguel O’Hara (Oscar Isaac), who police the various Earths in order to combat and remove “anomalies” that arise to threaten them … and the Spot is a BIG ONE of those.  Oh, and Gwen Stacy (Hailee Steinfeld), the Spider-Woman Miles most definitely fell for in the first film, has started working with them too after her own father, police Captain George Stacy (Shea Wigham), who’s had it in for their Spider-Woman after she was mistakenly framed for the death of their Earth’s Peter Parker, discovered her secret identity and made her run from her own dimension as a result …

Yeah, it sounds pretty complicated, but this whole twisted labyrinth is, nonetheless, unveiled in the exact same super-slick, viewer-friendly way the first film pulled off its own exposition, which just makes more room for all the FUN as we get to follow our old favourites and a whole host of fascinating NEW incarnations of our favourite arachnid-themed superhero on their various insane adventures.  This is JUST AS SPECTACULAR in terms of action, character work, pure invention and sheer, unrivalled SPECTACLE as its predecessor, in many places upping the wow factor SIGNIFICANTLY (particularly during a particularly colourful visit to the distinctly Indian-flavoured alternative version of New York called Mumbattan, which is the stomping ground of one of the film’s most memorable new Spider-folk, the irrepressibly chipper Pavitr Prabhakar, voiced by Deadpool’s thoroughly brilliant Karan Soni).  Indeed, the most fun we have throughout this movie is definitely getting to hang out not only with our old friends but all these newcomers too, with Pavitr being joined by the fascinating likes of the very coolest Spider-Woman after Gwen, Jess Drew (Awkward Black Girl’s Issa Rae), digital avatar Margo Kess/Spider-Byte (The Hunger Games’ Amandla Stenberg), overly-angsty living Todd McFarlane comic panel Ben Reily/Scarlet Spider (the incomparable Andy Samberg) and even Mayday Parker, the impossibly adorable new baby daughter of Jake Johnson’s welcome returning big fan-favourite OG Peter Parker (and, of course, Miles’ original mentor from the first movie), who’s ALREADY got her spider-powers, while Miguel is a FANTASTIC character, brooding like a champ and sometimes proving to be as much of an EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE villain in the story as the Spot, especially once his beef with Miles is revealed … but at the end of the day, ALL of these new arrivals thoroughly PALE in comparison to one of this film’s BEST secret weapons, Hobie Brown/Spider Punk (Daniel Kaluuya getting to use his normal accent for once), a misfit non-conformist anarchist JOY with one hell of a problem with authority (Miguel’s IN PARTICULAR) who effortlessly steals our hearts just as much as EVERY SINGLE SCENE he’s in.  That being said, it really is SO GREAT having our old crew back – Miles and Gwen are SO SWEET, their chemistry is just OFF THE BLOODY CHARTS without them even trying, and I adore every single scene of them together, never mind their own individual storylines (it’s PARTICULARLY great getting to see Gwen herself get a SIGNIFICANTLY enlarged narrative presence this time round, becoming JUST as important in this story as Miles himself), while any time we get to spend with Johnson’s Peter is pure gold, and we get to spend even more time with Miles’ wonderful, loving, hard-working parents Jeff and Rio Morales (Brian Tyree Henry and Lauren Velez), which is ALWAYS a plus.  Needless to say, this is a whole LOAD of fun, shot through with the same classic winning humour, wild invention, visionary experimentation, thematic resonance and pure geeky in-joke easter egg-packing FAN SERVICE that made the first film such a winner, but it also comes through BIG TIME with more of those wicked FEELS, this time ramping things up FAR MORE with the serious emotional HEFT as we’re presented with some truly DEVASTATING character arcs whose after effects are gonna be felt for A VERY LONG TIME after.  The fact that this is just the first half of a two-part SAGA, with Beyond the Spider-Verse currently in the works, means that we can look forward to PLENTY MORE, although here’s hoping that this time they give their animators a little more BREATHING ROOM to get it done right WITHOUT having to break their backs in the process, yeah?  Then again, with the writers AND actors on strike right now, the likelihood of THAT is pretty strong …

2.  OPPENHEIMER – really, is there ANY SURPRISE over this placing so high?  You know what a MASSIVE Christopher Nolan fan I am, and him making a proper EPIC historical biopic examining the career and achievements of the father of nuclear power was GUARANTEED to not only grab my attention but also thoroughly please the serious high-brow cinema appreciator buried inside me under all that action junkie, superhero fanboy and sci-fi-nut stuff … but yeah, this was ALWAYS gonna be a fucking amazing film, wasn’t it?  Nolan’s most regular acting collaborator (outside of Michael Caine, anyway), Cillian Murphy, stars as J. Robert Oppenheimer, the theoretical physicist who spearheaded the Manhattan Project which led to the creation of the very first viable nuclear weapons which were then used by the American military to destroy the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and end the Second World War.  On the surface he seems like a driven, visionary man with a real fascination for the science he’s pioneering, but also a cool pragmatism which makes him the ideal man to usher in this astounding technological achievement, but as the film unfolds in Nolan’s typical non-linear narrative fashion we discover a far more complex man than we first supposed, Murphy unveiling Oppenheimer’s deep-seeded fears about the frighteningly real dangers his Project could give birth to.  After all, he may have been the father of the Modern World, but this particular creation also gave rise to a century of technological horrors and a whole new, long lasting Cold War.   

Anyway, this is UNDENIABLY the greatest performance of Murphy’s career, if he doesn’t at least get an Oscar nod for this there’s no justice in the world, while, in typical Nolan fashion, the rest of his rich ensemble cast is a genuine embarrassment of riches, from Emily Blunt as Oppenheimer’s long-suffering wife Kitty and Florence Pugh as his ill-fated Communist mistress Jean Tatlock to Matt Damon as his nominal “boss”, Gen. Leslie Groves, Kenneth Brannagh as his mentor and idol Niels Bohr, the mighty Tom Conti as the even MORE awesome Albert Einstein and even Robert Downey Jr. in a particularly KEY role as Oppenheimer’s one-time colleague and later rival, Atomic Energy commissioner Lewis Strauss, who dominates the parallel narrative throughline presented over the course of the film as his own efforts to discredit and destroy the great man ultimately end up coming back to bite his own political ambitions.  To a man, they’re all as MAGNIFICENT as the rest of the film, which is a fascinating journey into the dark heart of one of the greatest but also most historically and socially destructive scientific achievements in the history of the world, the man who ushered it in, and the hell he then went through afterwards when he then tried to make sure we didn’t make it SO MUCH WORSE once we had the power to destroy ourselves.  It’s a film that raises extremely tough questions, and what answers we ARE able to come to are every bit as terrifying as any of the consequences that are either seen or suggested here.  Nolan is, as always, A MASTER in the director’s chair as much as in the screenwriter’s corner, bringing his usual visionary flair and artistic brilliance to craft yet more of his trademark IMAX-rocking BEAUTY and opulence, while his sneaky, snaky narrative shenanigans once again frame things in ingenious, challenging and sometimes emotionally DEVASTATING ways before we’re brought to the bittersweet denouement.  Tenet composer Ludwig Goransson’s expansive, evocative score is, ultimately, just the icing on the cake, making an already amazing film even more noteworthy.  If this film isn’t the toast of the Awards Season then they really ain’t paying attention …

1.  MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – DEAD RECKONING, PART ONE – really, there should be NO SURPRISE that this has topped off my list for the summer.  I may have grown up with James Bond, and I LOVE the Jason Bourne movies too, but Tom Cruise’s cinematic adaptation of the classic TV spy show has been MY ABSOLUTELY FAVOURITE espionage-based film franchise ever since JJ Abrams established the tried-and-tested formula for the series with 2006’s seminal classic third entry.  That being said, the franchise didn’t find its strongest voice until Cruise brought his Jack Reacher writer-director Christopher McQuarrie (The Usual Suspects, The Way of the Gun) on board for the dynamite fifth instalment, Rogue Nation, which was so fucking brilliant and well received by both critics AND audiences that Paramount saw fit to retain his services on the EVEN BETTER follow-up, Fallout, which came DAMN CLOSE to equalling the heights of Sam Mendes’ Bond masterpiece Skyfall … so of course it was a NO-BRAINER for him to return once again for this two-part intended send-off for Cruise’s seemingly immortal superspy, Ethan Hunt, as he not only faces his deadliest foes to date, but also some very dark ghosts from his own past.  As with its predecessor, this is another spy flick where knowing as little as possible going in works best for your enjoyment, suffice to say that this time Ethan and his loyal friends, master hacker Luther Stickel (the legendary Ving Rhames), tech wizard Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) and former MI6 spook Ilsa Faust (Dune’s Rebecca Ferguson), really have their work cut out for them when they’re forced to go rogue yet again in order to track down and deactivate a supermassive AI program known as the Entity which has become fully self-aware, broken free of its constraints and is now wreaking havoc throughout the internet and beyond. 

Unfortunately this seemingly unstoppable digital force has enlisted the aid of a particularly dangerous “avatar” to represent its concerns in the real world, a mysterious terrorist known as Gabriel (Ozark’s Esai Morales) from Ethan’s pre-IMF days who seems to be following a dark agenda of his own.  The ensuing race against time takes in a grand tour of impressively picturesque locales, a collection of winningly well-written characters and a series of knuckle-whitening, visually arresting action sequences that have long since proven to be McQuarrie’s bread-and-butter just as much as his ingeniously twisty labyrinthine plots and sparky, sharp-witted quickfire dialogue, again showing that he really is THE VERY BEST filmmaker that Cruise and Paramount could EVER have found for this franchise.  Needless to say, Cruise is as spectacular as ever in what really has become the very best role he’s EVER HAD, by this point basically just INHABITING Ethan’s easy charm, admirably solid, unswerving moral principles and truly INCREDIBLE physical prowess, delivering equally well in the truly insane stunt-work which WE KNOW FULL WELL IS ALL HIM as he does in the acting stakes; meanwhile Rhames, Pegg and Ferguson once again shine bright in their now comfortably well-established roles while still managing to bring fresh depths and interesting new arcs to their well-worn characters, we get a lot more of The Crown-star Vanessa Kirby’s intriguing notorious second-generation arms dealer Alanna Mitsopoulis/the White Widow, and it’s an IMMENSE pleasure to finally welcome back the first film’s prickly yet verbose antagonist Eugene Kitteridge (Henry Czerny), Ethan and Luther’s former boss in the IMF, in a far much expansive role this time round.  Meanwhile the franchise newcomers all impress as well, Morales easily proving to be the series’ VERY BEST VILLAIN to date as he menaces, seduces and murders his way through the story, brutally tearing our heroes’ lives apart as he pursues his mysterious master’s nefarious ends, while we get a brand new series heroine in the form of Grace (the MCU’s own Peggy Carter, Hayley Atwell), a sly and duplicitous professional thief who essentially stumbles into the thick of the action before becoming Ethan’s EXTREMELY unwilling accomplice; meanwhile there’s strong support from Shea Wigham and Greg Tarzan Davis (who previously worked with Cruise on Top Gun: Maverick) as Briggs and Degas, a pair of US Intelligence agents sent to chase down the rogue IMF crew, and Cary Elwes as Denlinger, a particularly duplicitous US Director of National Intelligence.  And then there’s Paris … ah Paris, my sweet, psychotic demon child.  Guardians of the Galaxy’s Pom Klementieff actually gets to be FRENCH again as Gabriel’s unpredictably lethal pet killer, and she’s an absolute JOY throughout, so delightfully unhinged that she makes every second of her screentime an undeniable pleasure, and as a result she’s BY FAR my favourite character in this.  Altogether, this is about as perfect as spy cinema gets, McQuarrie and his cast and crew working tirelessly to deliver not only the very best film in the series to date, but also the best film I’ve seen this summer, very nearly my action cinema highlight of the whole year (so far, anyway), and one of the VERY BEST spy movies I have EVER SEEN.  Given the state of the Strikes it’s not clear if we’re REALLY gonna get to see Dead Reckoning Part Two when it’s been set to release next summer, but whenever it DOES finally arrives, I KNOW it’ll be worth the wait … it just has to be bloody INCREDIBLE to be better than THIS ONE …

... By the way, I am SUPREMELY pissed off with tumblr about their suddenly blocking big blocks of text for making me chop up my reviews just to allow this shit to post in the first place. Shame on them ...

[dark-side-blog3]

It’s such a rare (in a good way ofc) thing to see a person who writes for food fantasy it just feels like I’m blessed every single time

If you don’t mind I’d like to request you to write about how you see Whisky as a yandere. Is he delusional? Is he lenient? Does he gets angry easily? Just any your thoughts about this. You can even use ddarker-dreams’ idea about yandere “mbti” (cruel vs reverent, aware vs delusional, manipulative vs honest, strict vs lenient) to be more specific.

Anyway feel free to ignore my ask if it makes you uncomfy or if you just don’t want to write anything about him! Have a good day 🫰

I categorize Whiskey as a CAMS yandere. He's exceptionally cruel, he appears to be aware of how normal people think or behave and why he's not normal, manipulative time and time again in canon, and having a strict schedule when it comes to poisoning is key to keeping the effects-- the only reason for which is so you don't wander off.

For a more in-depth and spoiler-filled analysis, click the readmore

+++++++++++++++++++++

Spoilers, but canonically the master attendant you play as in the game is either: the reincarnation of Whiskey's old master attendant to whom he was fiercely attached, or just so happens to look almost exactly like said former attendant he was so attached to. And whichever unconfirmed case it is, you're fucked, because Whiskey was obsessed with you before ever seeing you. And now that he knows where you are and is bound to you by contract once again, he's going to focus all that energy on you.

Whiskey was even attempting to master necromancy via alchemy just so he could see his master attendant again (and he used Pizza as a guinea pig).

It may be hard to imagine, but bear with me: Whiskey is a protective yandere. Thats right. The villain of many event stories, the abuser of Pizza and the tormenter of his friends Cassata and Cheese, Whiskey... Is an overprotective yandere.

Because if we take a look at his behaviour and reasoning from a different angle... He's doing all of this because he wanted to bring back his Master. He feels like he failed his last master, who never got anything from the world other than life, and lived a life of misery shackled to the walls because of her sister. And all of his actions after-the-fact, are so he can get them back, and this time, keep them safe from the maggots in every civil society.

Do not get it twisted: Whiskey is by no means a soft yandere. He's not above lying to get what he wants, and he is not above poisoning you to make you rely on him. Whiskey even strikes me as the kind of guy to withhold painkillers or antipsychotics until you amuse him with praise or a kiss... Maybe more, depending on how far he thinks he can make you sink to his whims.

Whiskey is possessive. His goals in finding his master attendant's soul again, regardless of if successful or delusion, were purely selfish. He wants you because you're his to have. Simple as is. And he will remind you constantly that you've lost your freedom the second he saw you.

The saving grace is that it's not purely for the sake of tormenting you-- his obsession with you does include making you happy, to some degree. If there is a material item you want, he will get it for you.

Whiskey even says himself that "If I could make your dreams come true, I would take everything and destroy it, rebuild it, and regrow it, until I've created the future you desire". He will do whatever it takes, kill whoever he needs to kill, and torture anyone he has to if it means your happiness is a possible outcome. He tortured Pizza for the chance it could further his research. He tortured and poisoned a man for years to get what he wanted. He held a princess against her will in the castle, her only friend and her captor's proxy, just because it would make someone he was loyal to happy.

And why would there be an exception now? Why should Whiskey care about the lives of others who aren't close to him? Why should Whiskey care if you don't want to be close to him?

He's a conman, after all. There is something you can't live without, and only he can provide it... At a very steep price.

[writingonesdreams]

Happy Blorbsday!

I'm also here with questions about Cameron. I think I kind of missed that he was one of your OCs, but then I saw that "I can fix him" incorrect quotes and definitely needed to know more.

How does he become part of the group? How does Zephyr feel about him? How does he feel about Zephyr? Does that change? What do they learn from each other? What do their interactions look like? (I know you answered this a bit in another ask but now I really just want to know all the details of their dynamic 👀)

Happy Blorbsday, Avra^^

Cameron is quite new character and even newer addition to the main cast. I had a different character reserved for later parts of the story that would show more of Zephyr's blowing up problems, until Cameron walked in and declared he would take all these parts and more upon himself.

I plan to properly introduce him in the next snippet called "Snake charms". Cameron was send from the International Dragon Management Organisation to check if the Dragonknight Academy would truly get a licence and legal backing for their interferences and interaction with dragons.

I don't much want to spoil that first meeting and how it will turn out :D. To be vague, Cam as a person is very much an antithesis to Zephyr. He is carefree, flirty, provocative, likes to rile people up. His main hobby is analysing people quick and well enough to know their sore spots and hit them at the first opportunity for fun.

He is also calculating, self-aware, egocentric, tends to think way too deeply about himself - he is my first enneagram type 4 character to date - and enjoys tricking people, making up personalities and masks only to change them with the next person. It's all fun and games, but it also makes him good at seeing people's masks.

His entry into the group happens through Skye and the sheer relief it brings her that someone can see through her very pressure inducing niceness disguises. It's the first someone enjoys Cam's skin deep guesses, quite a shocker for him XD, meeting someone as self-aware and arrogant and terrible as him.

He is also openly flirty with Skye, which flatters her, and drives Leander crazy...but leaves Zephyr weirdly calm and polite, like it's no big deal. I can't wait to write the scene where Leander tries to shake some sense into him with "dude, he was openly hitting on your girl and you invited him to lunch".

Anyway, Zephyr and Cameron go on a dragon management mission together to see the Academy operating in action (the next snippet afterwards "How the snake and the hawk went on a dragon hunt"), where Zephyr's behaviour outside the Islands and his friends' watchful eyes is revealed...another big spoiler lol. Let's just say Zephyr acts a lot different around people he doesn't care about and Cam gets to be quite horrified and fascinated by this.

Big reveal or not, horrified Cameron is packing, when Zephyr invites him to stay with the Academy as a consultant, even offers him to learn the Art, if he wanted. Cam, not used to being invited anywhere, is moved impressed and worried yet again. Zephyr warns him off now that he ain't worried with Skye and him being friends, but for having bad intents with his provocations and playful jabbing, he will get his revenge by becoming his friend.

This is the start of their dynamic that I'm currently experimenting with in the Star Wars inspired h/c AU - where Skye, Cameron, Leander and Zephyr want to create a magic enhancing soul bond, except it isn't working, cause they aren't as close as they should be, and ironically, Skye is closer with Cameron than even Leander is with Zephyr, and that is a high standard already. I want to explore what they look and act like at their best, when their relationships are close and open, but still missing something, when their natural differences and rivalries play off each other, when they are already caring, knowing, invested and with years of memories behind them.

Thanks for the interest in my new boy^^ and let me know what you think✨

[iviarellereads]

Gideon the Ninth, Chapter 35

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

(Sixth House icon) In which Gideon is finally, properly, rendered speechless.

Camilla, Harrow, and Gideon leave Corona to her grief.

Then, Camilla realizes Palamedes isn't with them, and she lost sight of him at some point in the room. Gideon says it's fine, he probably just went to check on Dulcinea, and she still doesn't understand why he's an even bigger "weenie" over her than Gideon is. Camilla finally explains that Palamedes has exchanged letters with Dulcinea for twelve years, and his study of medicine was entirely to work toward saving her from her familial fate.

This turns Gideon's blood to ice. She says Dulcinea never even mentioned him, and then Palamedes was still so kind about it, why didn't he ever say anything?

Camilla continues that he asked Dulcinea to marry him about a year ago, "so that she could spend the rest of her time with someone who cared about her comfort." She refused, not because she didn't like him, but because necromancers are discouraged from marrying outside their Houses. The letters grew more infrequent, and by the time they arrived at Canaan House, Palamedes still loved her, but he "was glad that she was spending time with someone who made her laugh."

Five people had died that day; it was weird how the small things ballooned out in importance, comparatively. The tragedy saturated the stiffening bones and static hearts lying in state at Canaan House, but there was also deep tragedy in the flawed beams holding up their lives. An eight-year-old writing love letters to a terminally ill teenager.(1) A girl falling in love with the beautiful stiff she'd been conceived solely to look after.(2) A foundling chasing the approval of a House disappointed with her immunity to foundling-killing gas.(3) Gideon lay on the floor, facedown, and became hysterical.

Harrow says it doesn't make sense. Camilla agrees, it hasn't made sense for the whole time she's known them. Harrow says, no, Dulcinea Septimus spoke to her of Palamedes Sextus as a stranger, she said she didn't know him well at all.

Gideon interjects to wail about how she wants to die, from the floor, and Harrow nudges her with a foot, "not unkindly", and tells "Griddle" to get up. Gideon asks why she was born so attractive, Harrow says "Because everyone would have throttled you within the first five minutes otherwise,"(4) and asks Camilla why Dulcinea would have such a change of position about Sextus.

Camilla says if she understood, her quality of life would go up considerably. She tells Gideon to get up, Sextus doesn't hate her, and she didn't ruin anything. He and Dulcinea "were always more complicated than that", and never met in person before Canaan House.

Gideon springs to her feet, eager to find Palamedes and make sure he's really okay with her behaviour.(5) She says she needs to find him and she asks for a few minutes alone. She tells Harrow to go get her two-handed sword, in the false bottom of her trunk, at which Harrow is "affrighted"(6), and asks Cam to keep an eye on Harrow with an apology for being a "homewrecker". Gideon sprints off before either of them can say anything, though she hears Harrow shout "Nav!"

Gideon's rapier bangs against her hip, her arm hurts from the last fight, her neck feels weird, but she runs as fast as she can to the sickroom. She finds Palamedes in the hallway, staring at the closed door. Gideon's breathing alerts him to her presence, and he cleans his glasses, looking at her as he puts them back on his nose. They stare at each other for a long time, but just as Gideon opens her mouth to say her apologies, Palamedes folds his fingers "as you would a piece of paper", and Gideon's body stops responding. She feels cold all over, and she can't so much as move her tongue from the roof of her mouth. Palamedes looks over his work, sees that it will do, and opens the door, smiling at Gideon, and leaving it open so that she can hear what comes next.

Palamedes says he should have spoken with Dulcinea as soon as they arrived. She asks why he didn't, and he says, he was afraid. His heart was still in pieces, and it was easier to believe that Dulcinea had moved on and was trying to spare his feelings. He cared about her, and Camilla cared about them both, and he thought Dulcinea was saving them "the heartache of watching her fail, and die," during the trials. He elaborates on how he was a child when he first started writing to her, eight to her fifteen, but he "was shown endless tact and sympathy." He asks if that runs in the Seventh House.

Gideon can hear a smile in Dulcinea's voice as she said she supposes it does. When you know so early that you're ill and fated to die, you grow to take other people's feelings "as seriously as yours aren't."

Palamedes says there are two things he wants to know. Dulcinea says he can have more than two. He says he doesn't need more. The first thing is, "Why the Fifth?" A puzzled pause, and Dulcinea asks, "The Fifth?"

"The Ninth and Eighth houses posed the most clear and present danger," he said. "The Ninth due to Harrow's sheer ability, the Eighth due to how easily they could have outed you--any slip would have shown an Eighth necromancer that you weren't what you claimed. He would only have had to siphon you to know. I even wonder why I'm still walking around, if you don't find that arrogant. But it was the Fifth House that scared you."

Dulcinea tries to say she doesn't understand, but Palamedes bids her not to lie to him. She says she's never lied to any of them. He asks why again.

Dulcinea says Abigail Pent was a speaker to the dead, not insurmountable but a problem… but that was only her hobby. She was dedicated to ancient history, the bits Dulcinea didn't think anyone would care about. "Letters, notes … pictures … the archaeology of a human life." Dulcinea should have swept the whole of Canaan House, first thing, but she was nostalgic.(7) Palamedes says, "I see", and Dulcinea says she's glad he didn't. Pent gave her enough of a fright, she's glad she didn't understand how Palamedes had mastered psychometry.

Palamedes asks why she put the key inside Abigail. Dulcinea says she had to buy time, and hiding it in the flesh hid it from most detection methods. She really thought they'd find it earlier, but it gave her time to gum up the lock. She asks who removed it, and Palamedes says it was the Ninth. She says the Emperor would love to get his hands on Harrow, then. Thank goodness he never will.(8) Still, if she'd known the lock could be broken and the key found, she'd have swept the place clean.

Dulcinea remarks that Palamedes must have used his psychometry on the message inside. If he'd never gone in, he'd never have known she'd been in there too. He says maybe. Dulcinea asks what his second question was.

Gideon still can't move. Her eyes are watering from her inability to even blink. She can breathe, and listen, and that's all.

Palamedes asks where "she" is. Dulcinea says she thought she'd come to an understanding. If "she" had told Dulcinea about Palamedes, she would have taken extra precautions.

Palamedes demands that the person who isn't, in fact, Dulcinea Septimus, tell him what was done with the woman herself. She says she's still here, but when the ship was boarded, the cavalier refused to hear reason. Then, she and Dulcinea talked, and they were an awful lot alike, which makes sense, except of course for the eyes as "the Seventh House is awfully predictable for looks".(9) But the illness… she might not have lived the first few weeks here, even if she hadn't had to be killed to protect Not-Dulcinea's plot.

Palamedes says, then the story about Protesilaus being puppeted by the whole of the Seventh House was a lie. No no, says Not-Dulcinea, she phrased it as a hypothetical, and everyone accepted the truth that was easiest to understand. If Palamedes has an issue, he should have listened more closely. Not-Dulcinea is from the Seventh House, and it was an accident that Dulcinea died. She really had wanted to help her, and she kept her as long as she could, but when someone took out her false cavalier(10), then the bodies had to be disposed of, and the furnace was the only available option.(11) And don't worry, she adds, Dulcinea didn't suffer.

Palamedes acknowledges that that's not nothing, but he assumes the rest of them are now to follow? The woman says yes, but it was never about them. She had to ruin the Emperor's plans to build new Lyctors, to draw him back to the system, but in a way that he "wouldn't bring the remaining Hands(12) with him." She's going to shatter the Houses, one by one, and find out how many she needs before he crosses into the system. And when he does, it will be too late.

Palamedes asks why one of the Emperor's Lyctors would hate him. She says she doesn't hate him, she has loved him for ten thousand years. They all loved and worshipped him, like a king, like a god, like a brother.

She pauses and her voice drops, so that she sounds "very normal and very old", and says she doesn't know why she's telling Palamedes all this. She says they should all thank their luck that they didn't become Lyctors. It's not life or death, but something terrible in between, and not even God should ask them to embrace it.

Palamedes says he'd never do that to Camilla, and the Lyctor congratulates him on figuring out how it's done. She didn't want to do it either, but she was dying, and she and her cavalier, Loveday, they thought it would make her live. Instead, she's been dying for ten thousand years.(13) She says that Teacher "was nearly demented", and a holy terror. They can blame Sixth House for that one. She's curiously grateful to the Second for taking him out, as he might have "made things stupid" at the end. Palamedes asks why Teacher didn't recognize her, and she says he might well have, because who knows what that blend of souls was ever thinking?

The Lyctor comments that Palamedes is taking this better than she expected. She assumed he "would try something silly" when he realized Dulcinea was dead. He says he never does anything silly, but he decided to kill this woman when he knew there was no chance to save Dulcinea.

She laughed, as clear and bright as ice. It was arrested midway through by a cough--a deep, sick-sounding cough--but she laughed through it anyway, as though she didn't care.

Palamedes continues that he had to buy time, and do it slowly enough that she wouldn't notice. Another short laugh, interrupted by a cough, but it doesn't resume afterward. She asks what he's done.

"Tied the noose," said Palamedes Sextus. "You gave me the rope. You have severe blood cancer ... just as Dulcinea did. Advanced, as hers was when she died. Static, because the Lyctor process begins radical cell renewal at the point of absorption. All this time we've been talking, I've been taking stock of everything that's wrong with you--your bacterial lung infection, the neoplasms(14) in your skeletal structure--and I've pushed them along. You've been in a terrific amount of pain for the last myriad. I hope that pain is nothing to what your own body's about to do to you, Lyctor. You're going to die spewing your own lungs out of your nostrils, having failed at the finish line because you couldn't help but prattle about why you killed innocent people, as though your reasons were interesting ... This is for the Fifth and the Fourth--for everyone who's died, directly or indirectly, due to you--and most personally, this is for Dulcinea Septimus."

The Lyctor says it will take a great deal more than that to kill her, he must know that, knowing what she is. Yes, he says, but she must have studied "thanergetic fission", and she'll know what happens when a necromancer uses all their thanergy very, very quickly. She asks, "What?"

Palamedes ignores her and calls out to Gideon, asking her to tell Camilla… no, Camilla knows what to do.

Then, the sickroom explodes, and the magic holding Gideon breaks. She lurches back down the corridor, away from the cold, white-burning death that Palamedes is unleashing. A huge crack and a boom, and part of the ceiling falls, near enough that the part above Gideon rains plaster dust on her.

Gideon runs for her life through Canaan House, and falls to her knees in front of the dried up fountain. She leans against it, though she knows not for how long, until there's movement at the entryway. She turns to look at the woman standing in the white steam, her eyes blue "like electromagnetic radation", huge wounds all over her arms and neck and legs, exposing her bones beneath, though they're knitting themselves closed as Gideon watches.

The woman Gideon had kind of had the hots for held a gleaming rapier. She was barefoot. She leaned in the smoking doorway and turned away, and she began to cough: she spasmed, retched, clung to the frame for support. With a great asphyxiating bellow, she vomited what looked like most of a lung--studded all over with malformed bronchi, with wobbling purple barbs and whole fingernails--onto the ground in front of them. It went splat.

She groans, and stands, blood dripping from her chin. She names herself "Cytherea the First […] Lyctor of the Great Resurrection, the seventh saint to serve the King Undying." Both necromancer and cavalier, "the vengeance of the ten billion",(15) come to kill the Emperor and burn down his Houses.

"And Gideon the Ninth..." She walked toward Gideon, and she raised her sword. She smiled. "This begins with you."

=====

(1) Palamedes, to Dulcinea. (2) "Stiff" here in the manner of "corpse", as this describes Harrow falling in love with the girl in the Locked Tomb. (3) Gideon, of course. (4) There is nothing in here indicating disagreement. Harrow thinks Gideon is hot. Just sayin. (5) Gideon cares so much about what others think of her, but she only lets herself acknowledge it when she genuinely cares about them too, even if she pretends she hates them. (6) Affrighted just means frightened but with different letters. Muir loves a thesaurus, and we love her for it. (7) You there yet? (8) And how can she know all this? (9) Recall how Ianthe's eyes were struggling to stabilize between her violet and Naberius's blue-and-brown. The eyes tell the story of the soul… quite literally. (10) Harrow dismantling the beguiling corpse enchantment, and stealing Pro's head. (11) Yep. Two sets of cremains. Dulcinea Septimus, and Protesilaus Hebdoma. (12) From context, the other Lyctors still living. (13) Exactly as she said earlier in the book, in fact. (14) Neoplasm - a kind of tumour with excessive growth. (15) I don't think it's spoilers to say this is approximately how many died (whether or not they were all resurrected) in the events of the Resurrection.

[gayspock]

ok im into generations

right so i wasnt sute about this one bc ok as ive said im not a huge tng fan + combine that with what ive heard about kirk in this one im kinda really scared 3:

also update: we got to order indian which my family usually arent onboard with but... :3 idc... im enjoying it yammy yammyyyyyyy

CAN I ALSO SAY. IM THE FUNNIEST BITCH EVER FOR WATCHING TREK TO STOP BIRTHDAY BLUES AND IT JUST MAKING ME EMO AS HELL ANYWAYS

hi oh MY GOD SHES SO PRRTTY OHHHH MY GODDDD HIII DEMORA HIII GIRLLIEEEE

also god ... this one makes me emo FUCK OFF THE END OF UNDISCOVERED CPUNTRY MADE ME FUCKING EMO GOD FUCKING HELL

god seriously though im trying not to be emo im meant to be watching these to not be emo but it does make me sad sometimes even watching stories like these thinking about where im gonna be if i make it to my 60s onwards like kirk + knowing i wont even have enterprise moments to look back on something something i never lived instead there was just a sad little hollow existence ... you guysknow what i mean. i wish i could be in the stars forever....

also it is funny how like so many of the trek movies are about how washed up kirk is its so fucking funny like we've been doing this bit since motion picture LOL

A

ALSO WAIT

HANG ON

CONNOR?

CONNOR JUMPSCARE CONNOR ROY JUMPSCARE

fucking connor typica- TIM RUSS?

if theres one thing about tim russ is that he'll be in a star trek showw or movie it doesnt even matter any more-

hi guinan . what the dickens.

also guys i ate too much food tummy hurt

also woag... 78 years later

ALSO YOU GUYS ARE ALL TAKING THE MICK LIKE "DONT TELL ME TUESDAY" WELL CAPTAIN CONNOR ROY DIDNT WANNA GO AFTER THEM KNOWING WHAT HE KNEW ABOUT THE SHIP YOU GUYS JUST BUGGERED OFF

come on kirk lets go girlie

the enterrprise is seriously like the pear wiggler

uhm

uhm

ehrm

NO SERIOUSLY IMAGINE BEING SCOTTY HERE ANDTHEY JUST LOSE KIRK

OH GOD IMAGINE BEING CAPTAIN CONNOR ROY. sorry i dont remember his seriouss name

oh fucking hell oh god WHY DID YOU GUYS DO THIS. JESUS FU CKING CHRIST. THIS IS SUCH A HARROWING END I... GOOD FUCKING HEAVENS . LIKE EVN THOUGH I KNOW HES SOMEHOW OKAY I CANT FATHOM IT FOR EVERYONE ELSE. JESUS.

HI WORF

HI RIKER

HI GEORDI

HI TROI

HI CRUSHER

HI DATA

.... hi picard. i guess. 😒

SORRY I FORGOT SHIT I ACTUALLY DO MISS THEM.

also god everyone can we be hoenst i did start to not like data as much not so much because of the show but basically just existing in fan space kind of really started to ruin him as a character for me but i will be honest him pushing bevs into the water and everyone being mad bc he just tried to match their energy yeah okay i feel that data sniff okay

ALSO PICARD SNAPPING. I LIKE IT WHEN HES A CUNT FRANKLY. I HATE IT WHENEVER THEY TRY TO MIDDLE GROUND IT WITH HIM. LOSER BEHAVIOUR. HES BEST WHEN HES FUCKING HORRIBLE TO PEOPLE AND I STAND BY THAT NO ON ELSE GETS ME

so is this where they find kirk

you know whats fucked up is spock is still alive somewhere ... ugh thatbreaks my heart SORRY. [looks shy] LIKE ... I ASSUME KIRK DIES BEFORE THE END OF THE MOVIE SO THEY NEVER MEET AGAIN FUCKING FINE DOES ANYONE TELL HIM WHAT HAPPENED THOUGH I'M- im going to kill myself

fucking hell though imagine if you pulled

YAAAYYY SPOOIT HI SPOT HIS PSOT BABY HIII SPOT HIIII SPOT HI BABY HI SPOTHIS SPOT

FUCK OFF

BRING SPOT BACK

CAN WE GET A SPOT CAM

i'll kms

oh god fucking- I FORGOT EMOTION CHIP WAS IN THIS FUCKING MOVIE. KILL YOUTSELVES. I HATE THIS. ITS BEYOND THE WORST FUCKIGN FECISION YVOEU EVE SORRY IM SEEING RED THIS IS WEHY I SHOULDTA HEV WATHCE ok breathe im breathing im normal im in and out breathing

he doesnt keep it thoughdoes he like

ugh

i feel like there is a way to do the emotion chip imagine if theyused it as a metaphor forlike.. masking, maybe and it really just made it all the worse for him and he rejected it bc he- YOU KNOW HES HAD EMOTIONS ALL ALONG THEYRE JUST NO THTE SAME AS YOURS ... I HATE MY LIFE I HATE ALL OF- BONG

me: gosh golly i mean how can i articulate my emotions regarding the emotion chip

also this cunt soran is just dickin about innit also do i just recognise him ta clockwork orange posters (has never seen the actual movie) where else have i seen him has he just got a face on him or what

NO DATA IS SO REAL FOR THIS WHO DOESNT REMEMBER SOMETHING 10 BILLION YEARS AGO AND HAVE A RIGHT GIGGLE

also you'd think regarding the data chip there'd be more of a fuss about him sticking it in considering what occurred to lore

GOD

THE WAY GEORDI DOESNT EVEN FIND HIM FUNNY. CLASSIC. AS IT SHOULD BE. THATS NOT OUR DATA IS IT NOW.

thatbing said im also a little sad like hes just learnt humour ITS RATHER NOVEL TO HIM . SORRY IF THAT MAKES ME SICK TO DEFEND IT.

okay there we go a complicat- JESUS THAT SUBTLE EFFECT ON HIS MOUTH THAT WAS SCARY DONTDO THAT EEEK HEAVENS

OH GOOD HEAVENS

THIS TIME IN: DATA LEARNS WHAT FEAR IS

THATS SO FUNNY SORRY i shouldnt laugh

eek.

you know what thats also funny to think about how like picard and such would have like super HD pics of them as kids do you know what i mean because when i see older people i think god theres only shitty pics of you when you were little bc cameras wont commonpla-

uhm

sorry picard is crying

i feel uncomfortable

dont fucking do that im a capricorn i w

oh jesus what the fuck . oh good fucking heavens i . I FUCKING HELL CAN I SAY IF I WAS A COUNSELOR LIKE TROI I'D KILL MYSELF A MILLION TIMES IM SO UNCOMFORTABL PLEASE FUCKING HELP ME

OH DEAR LORD

"the closest i'd get to having a child of my own" wyou've got some juice in you old man come on get fucking then

UGH OF COURSE PICARD HAS SOME FUCKING GRANDIOSE FUCKING FAMILY LINE. WHY. i thought it made more sense him being a smalltown little farmer or whatever. ANYWAY HE SHOULD BE LIKE ME. MY GRANDAD DROVE LORRIES FOR ASDA.

anyway what i was sayinh oh yes the pictures its strange i guess thinking about them being so farin the future sometimes when it comes to little things

what i will say is the second a klingon woman shows up with brilliant cleavage im like on my knees begging and i dont even know what for half the time im just like [whining noise] .. uhm. god i hope people dont read these lbs anyways

can we be nice to geordi for once- MORE NORMALYOU'LL END UP ON YOUR ASS CUNT

YEESH

CUNTYOU KLNOW WHATS ABNORMAL IS YOUR FUCKING HAIRLINE ITS GIVING JEFF WINGER FROM COMMUNITY sorry

GEORDI IS MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND

if i was data and i was feeling emotions for the first time i'd be crying throwing up being sick gaspig for geordi. i know this because im doing it anyways and im not even involved really

OKAY NO YEAH

YEAH ME TOO

I'D BE LIKE KMS JUST DO IT I HATE THIS SO ME BESTIE

PICARD

PICARD LET HIM FUCKING GO BEDDY BYES AREGHGHHH

also again me watching trek movies to escape my existential dread but good heavens every single time they get super existential wrt time and whatnot STOP IT. QUIT IT OUT

"the only engineer in starfleet that doesnt go to engineering" HELP LEA HIM AL-GJA0-GKAGKS[DGOSD[GOSDG

I JUST. LOVE. SCANNING FOR LIFE FORMS

ok his cute little doo doo doo okay

THESE KLINGON WOMAN SO HOT

god it wouldnt be a star trek movie if we didnt blow the shit out of the enterprise

dont get me wrong her hair is gorgeous still but ugh i wish troi got to have her little curlie whirlies

i need the klingon woman to

sorry

stop sentence

im

theyve exploded now so i'll behave

also we're like an hour in and kirk hasnt reappeared which makes this hysterically funny if theyre going to have him pop up again for 0,2 seconds and then axe him like jesus christ way to kill him off thats so funny like is any of this worth it im bewildered

TBY THE WAY THE ENTERPRISE CRASHING IS SO FUNNY BECAUSE I SWEAR DOWN THEYVE REUSED THE SAME FOOTAGE OF IT CRASHING AND THEN CUTTING INTO ALL THE DRAMA ON THE SHIP ITSELF BUT LIKE, DOES IT MAKE SENSE THE FOOTAGE OF THE SHIP ITSELF ON THE EXTERIOR VIEW WILL BE LOOPING ITS POSITION HELP

also i said it earlier but i cant tell if soran(?) actually does look like jeff rom community or if im just focussing on the hairline am i crazy

HANG ON I WENT TO GOOGLE TO SEE IF ANYONE ELSE THOUGHT IT AND THE CUNT WAS IN COMMUNITY WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON ABOUT

WHEN

I MEAN GRANTED IM TALKING MORESO ABOUT THE RESEMLANCE WITH HIM IN THIS MOVIE RATHER THAN HIM BEING OLDERHANG ON7

CAPTAIN picard waking up in - oh my god............. this is scary

NO THIS IS SCARY IM TERRIFIED

DONT DO THAT

ITHIS IS SCARTY

IM SCARED OF CHILDREN LOVING THEIR FATHERS

whos his wifey okay

generic woman thats so funny . kill yourself beverly crusher

rene ... sorry its so easy to forget picard is literally FRENCH with a BRITISH accent. double homicide. christ

hi guinan

also okay lets talk more about this movie. gusy lets talk about this movie.

"but these are all mine" is such a hysterically funny way to think of your kids

PA PA. HELP ME BUILD MY CARSTLE. PA PA FANK YOU FOR THE DOLLS. SHE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL. GOD PICARD IM SORRY BUT I CANT COPE WITH YOUR KIDS victorian ASS CHILDREN AND YOU DONT EVEN GIVE A RATS ASS ABOUT YOUR WIFE . FUCKING HLL PICARD. TRUE MIRROR OF YOUR PSYCHE

NOW KIRK FINALLY REAPPEARS WHAT IS HE JUST.... CHOPPING WOOD THIS IS SO FUNNY

aww he has a doggy and a clock with bones and-

HELP OF COURSE THEY GAVE JAMES A RANDOM WOMAN TOO THIS IS SO FUNNY ANTONIA WHO THE HELL IS ANTONIA GOD BLESS US ALL ITS SO FUNNY AS IF

i love kirk im sorry i stand by it when he just fucking has a new woman every fucking day of the week why not .. have fun

THIS IS SO FUNN Y I DONT KNOW WHY I ASSUMED KIRK WOULD HAVE A BIGGER ROLE IN THIS GOD BLESS

"youre a starfleet officer. you have a duty." I MEAN HE WAS LIKE... LITERALLY KIND OF RETIRING MAN IN FAIRNESS.

why are they bonding over their lack of families . lonely middleaged men well. theres a solution like well

maybe boost . sorry not boost. "boost". i mean but the ghosts that boost reported. were right. and they should just have gay sex here to solve their problems . fill the holes in your hearts and the holes well i didnt say that who said that

AGAIN i guess they didnt want to isolate the audiences or whatever but god wouldnt it just . i dont know work better if you even chose carol and david or something like FUCKING ANTONIA. HELP. AND IS ANTONIA IN THE ROOM RIGHT NOW

OH MY GOD

HORSEGIRLS

STAR TREK EQUESTRIA NEW SERIES CALLED IT

I LOVE IT HEN MEN ARE HORSEGIRLS

aww the horsies love e- GUYS THE HORSIES LOVE EACH OTHER AND I WAS ABOUT TO GET WEEPY THINKING-

OKAY SO MY THOUGHT PROCESS JUST NOW WAS WAHH THE HORSES ARENT REAL THEYRE IN THE NEXUS > BUT OH GOD EVEN IF THEY WERENT THE HORSES ARENT REAL ITS A MOVIE > BUT WAIT OH MY GOD THE HORSES ARE REAL ACTUALLY IN REAL LIFE THEYRE NOT JUST A PROJECTION > OH FUCKING GOD THESE HORSES ARE PROBABLY LONG DEAD

SORRY

"dont let them do anything stay there" KIRK YOU ARE THE REASON THEYRE FUCKING WHEELING PATRICK STRWART AROUND FOR A THIRD SEASON IN 2023 YOU FUCKING MENACE

THANK GOD YOU MENTION SPOCK

sorry

PICARD ARE YOU EVEN GOING TO MENTION SPOCK IS STILL ALIVE AND THAT YOURE BESTIES WITH HIS LATE FATHER

and bones could be too i dont know he was alive in ep 1 of tng but frankly well yeah

WOAHHH HI KIRK

HES JAMES T KIRK. BITCH

so is james t kirk literally going to die HERE now because thats so funny imagine that youre stuck in limbo for 80 years and then you get out and instantly eat shit i mean theres a way to do that gracefully i think but this obviously well

SORRY I FEEL LIKE IM GOING INTO THIS WITH A PRECONCIEVEDNOTION ARENT I BUT ITS HARD NOT TO

also why do so many of kirks lines sound... whats the word? recorded and added back in later?i forget the term but it sou-

e

DID KIRK

STRAIGHT UP JUST

IN .2 SECONDS

I DONT KNOW WHY I

I EXPECTED LIKE SOME FANFARE DID HE JUST

HI IS KIRK DEAD DID I EVEN

CAN I PROCESS THAT KIRK IS DEAD? AM I ALLOWED TO?

HEY GUYS?

BLOW UP. BITCH. 4JESUS OKAY SO NOW WE

OKAY SO KIRKIS LIKE FUCKING

RIGHT FINE JESUS OK........

"IT WAS FUN. <3" #DIES

god how are we... are we just burying him here, too? like good lord i dont know what i expected cant we... i dont know. christ . it feels so messed up to see kirk die and have a moment with PICARD sbeing the only person just standing over his grave and for him-

SORRY I MEAN THIS IS IRONIC BECAUSE KIRK WAS ALSO A CRIMINAL ABOUT THIS BUT I DONT TAKE AS MUCH OFFENCE WITH TOS BECAUSE THATS JUSRT SORT OF TOS YOU KNOW BUT IM STILL VERY GRUMPY About picard in general + how hes used within tng anyways god i

data....?

SPOT?

SPOT ARE YOU OKAY

THANK GOD THANK FUCKING GOD

OH THANK FUCKING GOD OH CHRIST IM GOING TO CRY NO SHUT UP. THIS CAT IS FIGHTING FOT ITS LIFE

i will also say going back its always so funny how they do that bit with like ahhh damn the starfleet officers cant have families bc im sure theyve touched upon it with riker too but also like. thats just what makes sisko the fucking best isntit . HAHAHAAHHAHAAH., GOT EM

thanks riker. swing your big dick aaround

also can i be honest i didnt care about enterprise d being destroyed. smirk. there i said it. i wept in search for spock i will say i will profess to that but that was like real thi wasn stop imr emeebring

MOVIE OVER?