#what the FUCK did they put in the sad wizard????

[leofrith]

bitches will start another playthrough of baldur's gate 3 saying they're not gonna romance gale again only to immediately fold the first time he opens his mouth

[happyhauntt]

— march fic recs, brought to you by happyhauntt.

a wee fic rec post for a few of the fics i read in march that altered my brain chemistry!! i've put a lil comment next to each rec because honestly writers don't get praised enough for their work these days and i wanted to show my appreciation for these talented souls!!

grishaverse.

➡ kaz brekker.

what do you want from me by @rubysunnday. notes: literally perfect wtf.

dark days by rubysunnday. notes: i reread this literally constantly, it is so perfect, kaz's characterisation is perfect, i adore it.

bloody hands by rubysunnday. notes: i devoured this whole thing like a starving person it was sO good.

when am i gonna lose you? by @crowsmybeloveds. notes: this is so beautiful honestly i have no words.

the lost princess by @ellewritesalright. notes: look it's only part one but elle is a fucking wizard and i'm a sucker for an anastasia au.

you and me (a whole lot of history) by @heliads. notes: this was so cute and such a clever concept i fell in love!!!

schat by @amourology. notes: fully choked this is so adorable.

soulmate by @magpiencrow. notes: KAZ BREKKER SOULMATE AU didn't know i needed this but now i need 100 more!!!!

➡ nikolai lantsov.

nine long years series by @ellewritesalright. notes: i am actively fucking screaming over this fic. i will never stop. this might genuinely be the best thing i've read in a LONG while. everything about it has me sobbing i actively CANNOT COPE. and it's not even finished yet.

one of us by @songofpatrochilless. notes: literally had me sobbing you don't understand the domesticity of it all!!!!!.

come on back to me by @atlabeth. notes: there is a very strong chance that i'll literally never stop screaming about this fic.

dreams of you by @wh0refornikolailantsov. notes: every cell in my body is SCREAMING.

this love by @lantsovsupremacist. notes: did not, in fact, give you permission to hurt me like this do it again.

salt in the wound by @in-my-feels-probably. notes: brain goes brrrr this has everything i need to survive tbh.

wanting was enough by @rubysunnday. notes: beautiful stunning magnificent i want to eat it.

an exhausted smile by @writing-havoc. notes: think i had an aneurysm reading this it was that amazing.

run away with me by @sumsebien. notes: i am still sobbing over this.

in emerald hearts, emerald minds by @undiscovered-horizon. notes: love love love love love. there aren't enough words in any language to describe how much i love this.

➡ alina starkov.

alina starkov x reader by @heliads. notes: alina does not get nearly enough love and this was so fucking sad and cute and brilliant.

➡ nina zenik.

the ten steps to 'i love you' by @sophierequests. notes: this was SO HEARTWARMING AND SWEET i adored it!!!

➡ zoya nazyalensky.

forget-me-nots by @syllvane. notes: not enough zoya fics on this hellsite. but also this ripped my heart out and made me sob so RUDE. i feel devastated.

➡ inej ghafa.

inej ghafa x reader by @heliads. notes: INEJ MY SWEET BABY, this fic is everything to me. everything. and it's so beautifully written!!!

➡ the darkling.

the dark side of the moon series by @myhairpintrigger. notes: this fic is ASTOUNDING. i haven’t cried this much reading something in a long time. i was FULL-BODY SOBBING. i don’t even like the darkling. i am Not a darkling girlie. but i was intrigued by concept of this fic and i can safely say it has ruined my life. this is Emotional Damage Incarnate. i will never recover. author, i salute you.

911.

through the smoke by @borntobewondering. notes: spent twenty whole minutes sobbing after reading this. i felt undone i felt hollow i felt so utterly fucked. author is a genius and that's all there is to say.

not so one night stand by @shmaptainwrites. notes: this was so fuckin adorable i'm in love.

d.c. to l.a. by shmaptainwrites. notes: bobby my guy just doesn't get enough fucking credit and this is so fucking adorable.

criminal minds.

➡ spencer reid.

trouble almost all my life by @januaryembrs. notes: this series is. it's literally. everything. i love bugsy like she's my own child. sister relationships are everything to me. i spent an hour sobbing in my bed over parts 2 and 3. i want this tattooed on my forehead.

➡ aaron hotchner.

found by @benedictscanvas. notes: DADDY i mean what. all jokes aside this was so sweet and beautiful and i'm in love the writing!!!

doctor who.

rage rage (against the dying of the light) by @morganas-pendragons. notes: felt feral after reading this. kayla just gets me in my feels every time.

heartbeat by morganas-pendragons. notes: this was the most emotional devastating thing i've ever read and i fully needed 3-5 business days to recover. rude. i want 100 more.

untitled by morganas-pendragons. notes: PAIN i love this so much.

ache by morganas-pendragons. notes: just scoop my heart out of my fucking chest i don't want it anymore after reading this.

a mind full of blissful terrors by @magiccath. notes: simply fucking amazing.

light in the dark by @i-imagine-my-doctor. notes: screaming please i adore this so much.

baby talk by @kisstherainwriting. notes: THE ABSOLUTE CUTIEST EVER. there's not enough clara fics and this had me squealing and feeling all warm and fuzzy!!!

holding my hand by kisstherainwriting. notes: angst galore this was STUNNING.

in another's eyes by @cas-kingdom. notes: PERFECTION.

where do we go now series by @theetherealbloom. notes: literally so fucking amazing i don't have enough words.

marauders.

the winner takes it all by @ellecdc. notes: brb faye is having a STROKE--

come back, be here series by ellecdc. notes: i think i had a full on stroke while reading this series. the attention to detail is insane. the characterisation is perfect.

i don't know you anymore (maybe i never really did) by @thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels. notes: SCREECHING i'm in love you don't understand.

bridgerton.

➡ anthony bridgerton.

distractions by @peterpparkrr. notes: simply immaculate.

right person, all the wrong times by @wwinterwitch. notes: did you mean one of my favourite tropes bc this is it.

right in front of me by @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 & @thirteenisles. notes: i felt feral after reading this tbh.

➡ sibling!reader.

reluctant caretaker by @rubysunnday. notes: this fic hit my heart in all the right places okay sibling stuff means everything to me.

did she have a cookie by rubysunnday. notes: a joyous read from start to finish i CACKLED the whole way through.

moon knight.

come back to me by @mgparker. notes: still sobbing. immaculate.

the other sarcophagus by @starryevermore. notes: i literally reread this constantly i adore it so much!!

marc spector x reader by @softlyspector. notes: i had an aneurysm reading this and i haven't been the same since.

more marc spector x reader by softlyspector. notes: i am having an intense emotion hold on. anytime i see autistic stuff in canon content for any fandom i SQUEAK. and this is so well done honestly.

star wars.

heartless by @youvebeenlivingfictional. notes: i reread this constantly, it's so amazing and heartwrenching and beautiful and i want to eat it.

little talks by @light-yaers. notes: you simply do not understand how much i adore everything beff writes. i adore this fic more than i need oxygen to breathe.

right where you left me series by light-yaers. notes: personality-defining series. i LIVE for this fic. every update adds five years to my lifespan. if you're not reading this you are MISSING OUT.

a light, a song, a bluebird by @millllenniawrites. notes: made me SOB 10/10 would recommend if you like emotional trauma.

invisible string by @campingwiththecharmings. notes: pining!!! loneliness!!! i adore!!!

hard landings by @softlyspector. notes: no. no you don't understand. this fic doesn't just own my soul it is my soul. i want it tattooed on my face.

misc.

hopper x reader by @luveline. notes: you don't understand this might be the cutest shit i've ever read and jade is a fellow welsh person which automatically makes them brilliant in my book.

muña by @in-my-feels-probably. notes: alicent means fucking everything to me and this had me sobbing.

mistletoe magic by @writingsbychlo. notes: literally the cutest fucking thing ever, had me kicking my legs and squealing!!

[sturniolo-rat]

The High Life Part 1

Matt Sturniolo X Stoner!Reader

Part 2

A/N: because I need a babysitter when I’m high and this is generally how it goes.

Contains: fluff💕, daddy k!nk

TW: drug use

In which Matt babysits a high Y/N and she becomes submissive and breedable😏

“Matt, would you still love me if I was a worm?” Y/N asks, looking at him through a cloud of smoke.

He looks up from his game “You’re high as shit, but yes, I would, the fuck”? She’s always asking dumbass questions when she smokes. Matt doesn’t smoke himself, but he likes to be around to watch Y/N. Not only does she look really hot, but she becomes so baby, and he wants to take care of her. 

“Okay, but what would you do?” She looks up at him expectantly, looking for a very specific answer.

He turns in his chair. “I’d put you somewhere safe and find the wizard bastard that did this to you.”

Y/N shakes her head furiously. “No, there’s no wizard. The universe just took my human form back and decided I was actually supposed to be a worm.” She says, pulling the rolling tray onto her lap as she sits on the bed facing him crisscross applesauce.

“Alright, easy.” He claps his hands. I got this.” She pauses grinding her weed to lean in. This time, she’s hoping for a more pleasing answer. “I’m going outside every day, rain or shine, even if it’s a hurricane, and I’m screaming up at the sky and demanding the universe turn you back.”

Wrong again. “Oh, so you only care for my human body and not my worm body?” she says indignantly as she struggles to roll her joint.

He grabs her face and kisses her forehead. “Baby, please, you already know you’d have a 6-foot terrarium in our room” he takes her rolling tray off of her and starts fixing her shitty rolling. “but I know you’d be sad cuz you wouldn’t be able to talk. Hence my screaming at the universe.” He licks the end of the rolling paper and seals the joint up. “It’s all for you, my love.” And he holds the perfectly rolled joint out. He learned to roll for her recently. He can only roll joints thought because blunts are for losers, and Y/N doesn’t fuck with tobacco. 

She takes it from him, completely shocked. “Well,, I guess that’s nice of you?” Referring to his hypothetical screaming and his unhypothetical miracle joint rolling skills. “Since when did you know how to do anything even remotely related to drugs?” 

“Last week. I thought I would help my baby out in all her endeavors.” He cracks a smile, knowing he’s thoroughly impressed her. 

She spaces out for a few seconds, then Says, “Could I come outside sometimes?”

He nods, instantly, knowing that her brain just did a factory reset, and is talking about the worm hypothetical again. “Mhmm, I’d put you in my shirt pocket, and we’d go on dates, and I’d get you plates of dirt to eat.” This was not the answer she was looking for because it was so much better, and just so perfectly Matt.

“You’re amazing.”

He pats her head. “I’ll go get you some snacks and water, Lovie.” He leaves, and Y/N feels so comfy and loved. 

“Get my special cup, please!” she yells to the kitchen. The cup in question is a 40-oz stainless steel tumbler that says Daddy’s Girl. Matt knows she’s in subspace. 

When he comes back to the room, Y/N is all cuddled up in bed with the stuffed shark he won at the fair last month. He’s got her special cup in hand and his arms full of chips. He throws them all on the bed and hands over the cup. “Got your cuppy, Sweetheart.”

“Thank you, Daddy.” he never liked being called Daddy before he met Y/N. She just brings something out in him. When she’s around, he just wants to take care of her in every conceivable way. 

“Anything for you, Baby.” He sits beside her on the bed, and she lies her head on his lap. Matt feeds her chips as they watch Family Guy. It’s amusing watching tv with Y/N when she’s high because she can’t follow the plot story shit. He likes asking her what she thinks is happening and listening to her crazy, convoluted answers. 

Somehow, over the course of a couple of hours Y/N ends up sitting between his legs with her back against his chest. She cranes her neck and stares up at him for a while. His lips look so soft, and she can’t look away. Matt notices this and tries to focus her back on the show. “So, what do you think Brian and Stevie are up to right now?”

“D’know.” She shrugs and continues to look at him.

“Do you need something, baby?” He asks.

“Mhmm,” she said, shaking her head and biting her lip.

Matt knows exactly where she’s going with this. “What do you need,

Love. You have to tell me before I can help you.”

“I need you, Daddy.” with that, she opens up a whole new can of worms.

Smutty part 2

Masterlist

Taglist

[awyeahitssam]

Harry giggles. His limbs feel lighter than usual, almost as if bubbles are making them float a bit. He can still control them, but it's a vague, interesting sort of control. Fun.

Harry lets sleep take him. The world whirls around him in sparks of disorienting colours, and Harry watches with a broad smile. It should make him dizzy, but he feels in the middle of something fantastic—a watercolour painting come to life. It's brilliant. Elating.

It stops as suddenly as it starts. Voldemort stares at him from across a desk. "Harry Potter," he sounds almost surprised.

Harry blinks at him. He still feels light, like he is floating, but also distantly sad. "Are you okay?" he asks thoughtlessly.

Confusion masks itself behind anger. Voldemort masks everything behind anger. "Pardon?"

"I’d never felt as good as I did a moment ago," Harry confesses, drawing closer to the Dark Lord. Red eyes track him suspiciously. Harry's chest aches. "But now, looking at you… it makes me so sad."

Thoughtlessly, Harry reaches out, and Voldemort lets him. It’s how Harry knows this can’t be real. That it’s just a silly, drunken dream. Their fingers intertwine, though Voldemort’s hand remains stiff and cold in his gentle grip.

"Aren’t you lonely?" Harry wonders. "Is that yours I feel pressing in, or my own? Even without you," Harry smiles, crooked and small, brushing an irreverent thumb over his scar, "I’m sure it’d be there. People always isolate the freak."

Voldemort’s hand twitches in Harry’s, and he hums, focus dropping from red eyes to trace the long fingers with his own.

"Everybody’s frightened of you. You isolate yourself from friendship, from love, from time itself... don’t you want, Voldemort? I can feel that you do—you’re never satisfied, are you? Will it ever be enough? The world at your feet, no attachments, nobody to challenge you—is that your dream, or your nightmare?"

"You’re speaking nonsense, boy," Voldemort says, but it comes out odd. Stilted. "You presume much."

"Is it presumption when I feel you?" Harry asks genuinely, brows drawing together, hand lifting to press over his heart. Voldemort is dragged with him, pulled a bit over the desk, and Harry blinks in surprise before realizing he still has a grip on the other’s hand. He lets go slowly, and Voldemort pulls back with a scowl.

"You are drunk," the wizard snaps with disgust. "You know nothing of what Lord Voldemort feels."

Harry finds the words… annoying.

"You feel so loudly, though," he returns sharply, moving forward, sliding onto Voldemort’s desk. Ink spills over—Voldemort hisses in annoyance and the stain is gone with a thought—dreams are a magic of their own—Voldemort’s forehead is cold and smooth. Harry bears the man's mark. He presses his scarred head to the smooth. Long, clawed fingers are wrapped around his wrist. His throat.

"Right here, always pressing in," Harry continues, heedless of his position, precarious as it is. "You feel so much it hurts, Voldemort. You hate so much. You’re never just happy. And I was, am, could be. So just take some, won’t you?"

Red eyes are narrow, intent, fascinated as they dart over Harry’s face, trying to gather his meaning. "How do you propose I do that?"

"How does one normally take pleasure?" Harry wonders. Voldemort grimaces, pulling away quickly, and it takes Harry’s bubbling mind a moment to put what he said to context.

"No," he chokes on a laugh, "I’m not asking you to—to snog. To fuck. Just open yourself up. You’re so good at taking, usually, but all you’re doing is giving. Don’t you want to feel like this? Light? Thrilled?"

"You don’t even know what you sound like, do you?" The question is rhetorical. Voldemort’s hand tightens over his throat, until Harry’s breathing grows thinner. "You wish for me to let your happiness pass my Occlumency, as though you have not just slipped through yourself. As if you have no method to make Lord Voldemort feel your pleasure; as if you want to give Lord Voldemort pleasure at all."

Harry touches the hand on his neck, slowly tightening with Voldemort’s rant, and a spark lights his fingers. Voldemort’s hand spasms before it drops. Harry takes a deep breath, glaring balefully. His light-hearted air has faded.

"Perhaps I would give you pleasure so your misery would be all the worse for it," he bites out. The world is fuzzy, but no longer from alcohol. From being choked. Even in his dreams, his life is threatened by this man.

"A pretty plot," says Voldemort. There is something very condescending in his voice; he is clearly looking down on Harry. Doubting him. It’s nothing new, but it makes the sting of anger grow in him. "Very well. If you can conjure happiness as you peer into the face of your death, Harry Potter, then do. Make me feel it, if you can."

Harry’s nails bite into his palm and release. He takes a breath and lets his eyes flutter closed. He focuses.

Happiness. What does it feel like? Like floating, as he was moments ago, or like getting an anticipated hug—not his first, not all the ones he flinched away from, but a hug from Hermione when they’ve almost just died. An arm around Ron’s waist as the boy drapes one around his shoulder. Laughing, hysterical and joyous, by the fireplace. Finding his wand. Finding out he was escaping the Dursleys. Happiness is a brief thing, drenched in the shadows of his life. Happiness is contentment, even if it is a momentary thing. It is the pleasure of a perfectly prepared cuppa; from—nonono, not going there.

Harry wraps the sensations up, one by one, like he’s re-wrapping hard candy, and throws them at Voldemort. Into Voldemort. All but one—his favourite one, his happiest one. That, he grasps, and it’s actual candy in his hand, a sweet that he looks down to, and then unwraps, and he’s moving forward, intent eyes raising, and Voldemort is already gasping, a bit, at the suddenness of it all—of pleasure.

Harry’s lips curl and he pushes the candy into the slightly agape mouth of the Dark Lord a bit cruelly, shoving it deep. He pulls back quickly, before sharp teeth can gnash on his fingers, and watches on as Voldemort experiences pleasure. As Voldemort softens, and sighs, relaxation in every hard line of him, mouth sucking almost greedily around the treasure that Harry has placed within it. Now he’s drunk on it, Harry thinks, horribly pleased to see Voldemort this way.

It’s not real, but still, he hovers on Voldemort’s desk and observes the pink brushing his cheekbones with fascination. He observes the way red eyes roll back a bit, and the way a long, pale throat swallows convulsively down on a slowly dissolving candy until there is nothing left.

Lashless eyes open, dark and suddenly staring. Red barely peeks out from behind the dilation of his pupil, and Harry’s smile is a smug thing.

“There’s your pleasure,” Harry whispers to him, like a secret. “I hope you enjoyed yourself. It can only get worse from here.”

“Worse?” murmurs Voldemort, staring at Harry intently. “You think there is worse you can do, Harry, then give me that and take it back?”

Belonging, thinks Harry, quite suddenly. He’d given Voldemort his favourite thing, the thing that he had been looking for, for a very long time. Longing, and peace, and laughter, and a burgeoning happiness that had very rarely managed to emanate past its conception. He had given Voldemort, too, his desperate hope for things to get better—and then he’d made them get better—and now Voldemort had lost it all.

Suddenly, impossibly, Harry’s eyes are liquid. I’m cruel, thinks Harry, gaze falling from red. There is nothing so cruel as what he has done, and he had done it so carelessly, so happily, so smugly, because he had felt slighted. Had felt wronged by this man who had ceaselessly wronged him.

Slowly, Harry looks back up at Voldemort, who is watching his tears with an expression of keen interest. 

“Has it made you sad to give your enemy your pleasure, Harry Potter?” Voldemort asks, gripping his wrist and drawing him near enough that Harry barely keeps his bottom on the desk rather than Voldemort’s lap.

“It makes me sad to treat you with such cruelty,” Harry corrects, “when I know you will never allow yourself to experience such pleasure again.”

“Would I not?” breathes Voldemort, eyes still dark instead of bright.

“You won’t,” whispers Harry. “It'd require you to trust someone. To have faith in them. And that, I know you’re incapable of, because you are a man but don’t see yourself as one, and gods do not have friends, nor equals.”

“Equals?” Voldemort’s breath brushes Harry’s brow, his stinging scar. “But what if Lord Voldemort were to draw you from the depths, Harry? Raise you from the pale mortality until you, too, are exalted? Then you may give Lord Voldemort what he so deserves; give me pleasure, Harry Potter,” Voldemort enunciates awfully. “Give me it all.”

I wrote this one of the first times I ever drank, and just expanded upon it a bit. I'm honestly really fond of finding these little things I've forgotten.

[zerogutzz]

yeah im going all in

Bunch of insane lore rambles under the cut LMFAO

During the GOLB invasion, the veil between worlds became it's THINNEST. The world Max came from already had dimensional rift problems, it's the very things she was set out to study along with whatever happened to come out of them.

As we all know, Sadness attracts Madness, never did Max think that a rift would pull her in. A good 12-15 years is where she ended up getting spat back out after GOLB fused with Betty and fucked off.

She was lost for 3 months. Zero human contact. Only dangers and monsters and the occasional talking animal to point her to the human city.

She DOES eventually end up making it, stumbling on to the small ferry and falling flat in to the city. These citizens were humans, yes, but Golb knows that these aren't the same humans she's used to. They're all strange, wear strange clothes, and say strange phrases she only barely understands. You can imagine the wave of astonishment and relief she felt coming up on a giant sign that read "20TH CENTURY MAN IN HIS NATURAL HABITAT"

She's from the 22nd century, but goddamn if it wasn't close enough.

Following the curious crowd, an older gentleman stood in a dollhouse-like enclosure that mimicked that of an old fashioned home, decorated in familiar items and décor. The future-humans took their turns asking very.. Dumb. Questions. Most of the time repeating the same one in different ways. For some reason they're very focused on the different lamps. It was increasingly obvious that the gentleman acting as the 20th century man was just about ready to lose it if another comment was made about how light 'bulbs' are supposed to be pronounced light 'balls.'

"Excuse me." Max spoke up over the crowd. Simon glanced over at her from between his pinched nose bridge, pausing. It looked almost as if his shoulders relaxed. The way Max presented herself was something he hasn't seen in a very, very, very long time. Familiar clothes, cadence, and energy. "Could I talk to you, um, whenever you're done touring your.. Museum." Max asked. She was trying her very best not to make it sound urgent, despite the desperation she felt in her chest. "Oh, no, yes of course." Simon stumbled over his answer, nodding quickly. "We could talk now, if you'd like. It wouldn't hurt to close early."

The other people in group either huffed, rolled their eyes, or wandered off at the suggestion. Simon rubbed at the back of his neck, motioning Max to come inside. "Walls down." There was brief confusion, but it subsided as soon as the walls to the enclosure closed down like garage doors. Simon sighed heavily, turning to the new face in town with a tired smile. "What was it that you wanted to talk about, miss..?"

"Maxine Stronghold." Habit took over, flashing her detective badge and pocketing it in a single motion. That put the man on edge, his smile faltering. "Ah, you're not in trouble. That.. Sorry. Old habit. I was actually just here to ask if you actually were from the 20th century?" He perked back up. "Wha, why, yes. Are you not familiar with- Oh, my goodness I never actually introduced myself." Max's thick brow quirked up at him, his hand extending to her form. "Simon Petrikov. I, ah, used to be the Ice King. Difficult to imagine, I know, but rest assured-"

The increasingly confused look on the woman's face brought him to a stop. "... Sorry, did I say something wrong?"

"No." She answered slowly. "I just .. Um. I don't know where I am. Or how I got here. Or how there are wizards and talking food. I haven't had any genuine human contact in months. I was kind of hoping you'd be able to help me."

A moment of silence befell the two of them. A growing realization creeped on to Simon's face, putting his hand over his mouth and mumbling, "Oh my God." before putting a hand on her shoulder to have her sit down.

"Tell me everything."

[delirium1217]

There's no need to hide

Word count: 1009 words James/Regulus. First wizarding war AU (they're both stuck together in the same safe house)

⋆｡°✩˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗⋆｡°✩

“No, this won’t do.” James stands up, “We are not spending today of all days moping.”

“We’re not moping, we’re just talking.” Regulus replies, slightly indignant.

“All we ever talk about are big, sad, mushy feelings.” James dramatically flails his hands around, almost as if shooing the sentiment away.

“Big, mushy, feelings.” Regulus repeats, he tries to sound offended but the tug on his lips says otherwise.

“Well yeah, everyone you know thinks you’re dead, terribly sorry we can’t do anything about that by the way. And me, well, where the fuck do we start, you know?”

Regulus looks back at him, slowly blinking. the sickly yellow lightbulb casting down its shadows.

He doesn’t need to think about that right now.

He just needs something to fill the noise.

The air was filled with the sense of slight delirium. Nothing felt real. Nothing had consequence. James felt like he could run away, sprint off into the fields and pretend the last twenty two years of his life were a lapse of chemicals his mind made up in a haze.

The depression that hung over him all week threatened to spill into hysterical exuberance. But James didn’t care, it’s been so long since he had someone near him, someone that wasn’t decades older than him. Someone that talked to him, not just through him. Someone that didn’t expect him to be something he wasn’t.

He’ll let himself get drunk on whatever endorphins his body, for whatever reason, was dishing out.

He just needs something to fill the noise.

“Look James, maybe we should call it a night-“

“Nonsense! It’s your birthday, we’re staying up. We’re transforming some stale bread into equally stale cake. We’re playing music your obnoxious little self wouldn’t be caught dead listening to, and we’re dancing.”

He taps his wand. The tinny radio spluttered to life. The glittery synths were scratchy and soft. It filled the room instantly.

Regulus looks back horrified, his eyes widened.

He stretches his hand out for Regulus to take.

Regulus stares down at it, then back at James’ face “Oh no, absolutely not.”

“Oh c’mon, I used to do this all the time with Peter.”

“Is that all what you four did all day? dance around with each other?”

“Mostly, amongst other things. The worst of us was Remus, man had two left feet and fingernails like talons.” he fondly remembers the way Remus’ grip dug into his shoulders and ‘Moony, can you for the love of everything try and be less rigid’ while everyone else in the common room cheered them on, well, mostly Sirius.

Regulus snorts, “I should’ve known. And to think of all the time I wondered what on earth you people did.”

“Well, we had to, the marauders couldn’t embarrass themselves in front of the ladies.”

James’ hand was still outstretched. He wiggled his fingers again, “Come on. Can’t you just humor me?”

“You know it’s my birthday, you should be humoring me.” Still, something in his expression softens - he sighs, unfolds his arms, and carefully places his hand into James’ own.

The soft music and layered vocals had filtered throughout the room. The noise of it seemingly amplified in the tiny living room.

James slowly put his hand on Regulus’ shoulder - the unexpected warmth that rushed through him made him pause. He realizes, this was the first time he’s touched another person in months.

(Eight months to be exact, the last time he saw Marlene, drenched in black hoods at an Order meeting. She gave him a full body hug and squeezed all the oxygen out of him.)

Still, he slides his other hand across Regulus’ palm. The song playing was by a muggle band he didn’t recognize - a ditzy little number, all dreamy sounds and far away vocals. The shimmering effect the night held seemed to surge as they swayed.

It was awkward at first, as it always is. Clutching to each other’s shoulders in a frigid way that even Remus would realize was painful. That was until James, in his delirious state of glee started adding twists and turns left and right, loosening both of them up.

Regulus followed his every move, surprisingly fluid and confident in a way his posture never was. They both slowly started to laugh with every unnecessary kick or turn they flourished as they moved across the kitchen floor. This wasn’t a formal dance in any sense of the word, bouncing around like fools across the linoleum tiles.

It’s been a long time since he felt like this. Young, stupid, and full of bravado. Of course, now it was tinged with the haziness of all what’s broken his heart over and over, night after night. But it was still there, a flickering light in the dark. On and off. He silently pleaded with whoever was handling it to not click it off just yet.

“Okay, you have to stop before I start to vomit,” Regulus raises his voice over the bellowing music, a woman singing about hot stuff.

“We’ve both had nothing all day, nice try though!”

“Have you ever seen a cat dry heave?”

James laughs. He slows his tempo down back to a sway.

“Alright, we’re slowing down, only because it’s your birthday. Otherwise we would’ve been spinning off the patio,”

Regulus promptly ignores him. “Wasn’t there a promise of cake during your little speech?”

“Stale cake.” James corrects. “and i can only manage sweetened white bread, with bits of frosting.”

“I’ve had worse meals,” Regulus replies

“I bet you did,” James smiles back.

They come to a stop as the last seconds of the song play, another already fading in.

They both found themselves a few moments later hunched over a piece of incredibly stale, possibly moldy bread. Both throwing every bit of transfiguration spell they had in their arsenal. The result was a dried-out, but surprisingly pretty piece of yellow sponge cake. James had taken bits of milk and transfigured it into real looking icing, which coated the sides in swirls and peaks.

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

The thought that has invaded my mind now is...

Hangman and Rooster both getting extremely angry at each other one night. Maybe it started because Rooster got drunk at the Hard Deck and started to pick a fight with Hangman, and Penny threw them both out.

Rooster angrily stumbles down the stairs to the beach, and Hangman follows him wanting to know just what the hell his problem is.

Rooster, seething, finally asks Hangman "...how come nothing ever effects you?! How can you just be like that...?!"

Hangman stares at him for a moment, absolutely stunned. "...I'm sorry what?"

"You're just a freaking...robot! You're like that robot from "The Wizard of Oz"!"

"...The Tin Man?" "YES, THE TIN MAN!" Rooster shouts, victoriously. "...With a cute little smile, and pretty eyes, and no heart whatsoever."

Hangman's face darkens. He's standing illuminated fully by the light of the lamp post near the foot of the stairs, yet somehow his face visibly darkens.

"...Who the fuck are you to talk about being heartless, Bradshaw?" he finally asks, his voice dangerously low but there was no mistaking the anger in his words.

"You can just...just stand there, or sit, or whatever stance you choose to take," Rooster began, his words slurring ever so slightly "...and just act like a total asshole."

"So what?"

"SO YOU ACT LIKE NONE OF IT EVER HAPPENED!" Rooster suddenly yelled. "Like I never mattered to you at all! How can you - how can you just do that...?"

"You broke up with me." "I know I - "

" - You broke up with me," Hangman repeated, as he stepped closer to him. "You proposed to me, told me you wanted to spend your life with me, then broke up with me and YOU'RE CALLING ME HEARTLESS?!"

"Jake - "

" - Do you have any idea what it takes for me to be in the same room with you?!" The blonde asked, his words starting to get thicker with emotion. "Do you honestly think I enjoyed being at the Hard Deck, that night before the Dagger mission started, after you waltzed in? I couldn't fucking breathe. You were taking up all the air the room! I left while you were playing that stupid piano and getting everybody in the bar wrapped around your little finger. Cuz that's what you like to do isn't it Rooster?! Get everybody looking at you...!"

"Well, that's the fucking pot calling the kettle black - "

" - You weren't even in uniform!" Hangman shouted. "Everybody else was, but no rules don't apply to you cuz you've got Admirals like Kazansky on your side, and Maverick was your daddy's bff, and you can do whatever you want - "

" - You're a dick."

"Yeah and you're a fucking Nepo Baby who can't stand it when you have to actually work for something," Hangman spat out. "If I'm the Tin Man, you're the fucking Cowardly Lion."

Rooster took a swing at him, but Hangman ducked and used his shoulder to knock Rooster right on his back on the sand.

Rooster just stared up at him, waiting to see what he would do next. But he wouldn't let him see defeat in his eyes, or shame.

...There did seem to be a glimmer of sadness in there, though.

"You want the truth, there it is," Hangman told him, his chest heaving as he stared down at Rooster, then he put his knee on the other man's chest and leaned in a bit closer.

Rooster grunted at the added pressure, but kept staring back at Hangman as the other man looked down at him.

"...You were a coward with me, you're a coward in the air, and you try to make up for it by singing live karaoke to a bunch of half-drunk aviators in a bar," Hangman continued. "You think I pretend like our relationship never happened, but you don't exactly bring it up in conversation, either. Your problem isn't me, Bradshaw, it's the guy in the fucking mirror."

Hangman took his knee off Rooster's chest, stood up and walked back up the stairs, without looking back at Rooster once.

Rooster turned his head to watch him leave, but he didn't get up from the sand just yet. He waited a moment, took a breath, let it out, and closed his eyes; trying to blink away the beginnings of tears that were starting to cloud his vision.

"...You can never just say 'I miss you' to people can you, Bradshaw?" he muttered to himself. "No, you have to be an asshole to everybody..."

Rooster then sat up and used his hands to brush the sand out of his hair. He then stood up, climbed the rickety wooden steps that led back up the hill...and went home alone.

[florsial]

It's been a while since I looked at flowers so here are Marauders era characters as plants:

James Potter: Sunflowers since he's commonly associated with the sun. Or delphinium for positivity and a big heart!

Sirius Black: Ivy, the common ivy, or English or European ivy. It's a symbol of loyalty and fidelity. Fits enough for me.

Remus Lupin: Wolfsbane. Believed to repel werewolves, and it's used in a potion in the Wizarding World. But if we want a less angsty plant there is also the tropical white morning glory. It's also known as a moonflower and symbolizes the ability of beauty to emerge in dark times, and is used to provide hope.

Peter Pettigrew: Burgundy dahlias for betrayal, for obvious reasons. But also purple hyacinths for a desire for forgiveness. Cuz I'm hell bent that Peter was regretful of what he did in canon

Lily Evans: I'm not gonna give her lily, that seems a little too obvious lol but, peonies! They symbolize love, honor, happiness wealth, romance, and beauty. Which yk, works well in my eyes

Mary Macdonald: Poppies for remembrance of the death and consolation. It's based on the headcanon she obliviated herself sometime before to during the first wizarding war because everything was getting too much for her. Also, poppies are used to create opium, which relieves pain. It's pretty sad ngl, that hc always gets me.

Marlene McKinnon: King Protea, it's very sharp-looking flower that symbolizes strength and resilience. Not much info is given about Marlene during the war except her entire family was wiped out, but given her personality in fanon. I imagine she put up a hella good fight. I would give this to Dorcas but I have another one for her.

Slytherins! (Including Pandora!)

Regulus Black: Thorns! Rose thorns mostly, but just thorns in general. From what I read, rose thorns show adversity and sacrifice. Regulus had the misfortune of being born into a family with shit views and never having a morally correct input his entire life and he basically sacrificed his life to bring down the Dark Lord. Thorns are always ways for a plant to deter herbivores from eating them, take that as you will!

Barty Crouch Jr: Bleeding hearts, cuz yeahhhh, everlasting love? Unrequited love?? Tragedy compacted into one. His daddy issues too?? Him pleading for his dad to love him?? HIS MOTHER GIVING UP HER LAST MOMENTS FOR HIM??? EVAN AND REGULUS???? CMON CMONNNNN

Evan Rosier: Venus Fly Trap for persistence. This man was not willing to end up in Azkaban and took Moody's fucking nose with him. Venus fly traps are also known to die right after digestion aka eating a fly so it fits! (I LOVEEE carnivorous plants)

Dorcas Meadows: Laurel leaves for victory and achievement. Specifically, laurel leaves in a wreath. I think it's neat since she was powerful enough that Voldemort had to kill her himself. Mf was takin them out one by one until Voldy decided she was too op. LOVE HER FOR THAT

Pandora Rosier: Not the most hottest flower (lol), but the amaranth, while it could also mean everlasting last love, but it also means hopelessness or hopeless love. This only really works if you see Pandora as a seer. Something I think is interesting is the fact that fate is fate, it's sealed and final, and there is never a way around it. If you try to get around fate, you walk right into it because you never a chance. Pandora as a seer would've saw her friends and classmates dying and can't do anything about it because fate is sealed from the very beginning. It's hopeless.

[yuri-is-online]

Hi hope you have a nice day.

I’d like to request prompt 9 with azul , ace and epel

Please feel free to ignore this

9. You weren't technically invited to this event but it's a Masquerade! It's not like anyone will notice or care if you sneak in, so you do just that and find a really depressed friend of yours lamenting they won't get to dance with their crush.

My dear friend there is no need to be so shy, I asked for requests. You have no need to ask me to ignore you! Hold your head high, you are more than welcome here ⊂(・ヮ・⊂)

As a note I got a separate request for this prompt from Azul's pov which I still intend to write and post in addition to this, but if said requester wishes for an additional character they are more than welcome to send a message, there is no time limit on that.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, I could not for the fucking life of me find any of the music I wanted to use for Azul. No piano cover for the first song and then no instrumental version of "Part of Your World" from Dreamlight Valley; why that isn't on youtube when it is my literal favorite arrangement of the song I couldn't tell you smh. I did manage to find something close to it though... The rest of the event requests can be found on my masterlist.

Azul

Magic shmagic, you have got to be some sort of wizard with just how well you managed to weasel your way into this stupid party. No one had been checking invitations, probably assuming that no one without magic would bother taking time to make an elaborate ensemble just to get their hands on some prime snacks. Clearly they underestimated the great responsibility bestowed upon the owner of a set of tupperware. You would have added "and a cat monster" but you are not stupid enough to think you own Grim.

Or humiliated enough to suggest that he owns you, but the less chances you take at making him sneeze and wake up to a suspiciously empty dorm the better. You didn't need him storming the castle crying about how he woke up all alone and was scared wasn't invited. Not that you hadn't considered that plan together before Crewel had made it extra clear just what the consequences would be for that. The food tables are positioned close to a balcony you had spotted earlier, empty save for a piano that you swear has to be desperately out of tune.

Or at least that had been what you thought on your way in. That clearly isn't true from the song that's snapped your attention away from your mission towards it. You know the song that's being played, or at least you think you do. It causes some strange cognitive dissonance in you, you try to tell yourself that it simply can't be real, even as the words bubble up in your throat trying to make up for the missing instruments. The person playing it somehow makes the dissonance worse.

Azul, because it has to be him, no one else has eyes quite as lovely even if they seem strangely sad behind his mask, clearly is not expecting to be observed. He is far too relaxed, too caught up in some strange thought playing a jazz song so hauntingly out of place against the classical background of the Masquerade. If you were yourself tonight, you would think about reaching out to close the gap, but to do that would be to give yourself away, put you firmly in the tight grasp of his debt that you will likely be powerless to repay.

And yet, he looks to see you anyway, the edges of his lips flickering into business as he surprisingly does not stop playing. Instead he moves the piece into one he thinks "you" will recognize before finishing with a flourish.

It is all you can do to clap politely so as not to drop all pretense. "I am sorry for interrupting you." You try, but you know as well as he that disguised or not, Azul will not let you off this easily.

"Oh it's no trouble really." He stands up from the bench with a flourish. "I was just helping myself, really what were the hosts thinking leaving such a lovely piano out here all alone? It's practically begging to be played."

"Of course." You hope, not with much optimism, Azul doesn't notice you looking for an exit. The last thing you want is a reason to be more awkward around your handsome classmate than you already are. "You chose such a unique song for it too, I couldn't help but be distracted." He falters, fingers dropping back to the keys gently running over them in a strange show of emotion.

"it is isn't it." He states it, more to himself than you as you beat away the unhelpful desire to describe his playing as "out of this world," not wanting to deal with any judgment later. The look Azul has on his face can almost be described as... fond as he continues to speak more to himself than you. "A... friend of mine taught it to me. I have been practicing it for them. For tonight." You almost ask who he is referring to, afraid he might mention some other poor lost soul from another world because you certainly do not remember teaching him any music let alone that song. You have a vague memory of playing something at Floyd's request, but that had been ages ago, and Azul had certainly not been there.

At least not in your line of sight.

"I should let you get back to them then." You say lamely, hopefully Azul will pass that off as disinterest in his personal affairs and let you go. This is starting to get bad for your heart.

"They're not here sadly. No thanks to me, if only they had thought to ask for my help..." He returns to the piano, so genuinely disappointed you are almost angry at yourself for not thinking to ask this poor man who certainly only would have asked for your last dance and not your soul or first born. "It's got to be an important song to them if they remembered how to play it... right?"

Or maybe he would, just in a more romantic way. He certainly seems more focused on the phantom of you than anything else and that has to be some sort of accomplishment. It is all you can do to swallow your guilty conscious enough to leave with your disguise in tact.

Ace

"Yuu! Oi why are you running I knew you would-" Ace's hand stops just in front of you, his smile and optimism completely gone with his brain cells apparently as he retreats. "Ha, sorry." His places his hand behind his head casually, voice dropping to that similar serious tone as it had earlier in the night when he had asked for you to tell him he looked good. "Thought you were somebody else."

"Sorry." You really mean it, as much as you just want to shake off the disguise and let him know he was right that would be way too dangerous. Everyone knows you were not invited, and everyone knows his behavior around you. No matter how much your heart sings that he saw through you, it would get him into so much trouble if he was suspected of helping you in this little adventure.

"Nah it's not your fault, I'm just annoyed." Ace has apparently decided that you are his new old friend for the evening anyway, bracing himself against the pillar with a huff as you give into temptation to stay with him just a bit longer. "Seriously it is going to be such a pain later! Deuce is all like 'we should enjoy ourselves the prefect will be mad if we let them ruin it for us.' Please like I would want my friends to be celebrating when I'm not there."

"You're not your friend though." You try to not laugh as you say it because of course that's what Ace would say. You can easily picture him sulking if it had just been Deuce and you who were off to a Masquerade all while acting like he is truly not bothered as soon as you pay him any attention. "It's not like it's your fault they're not here."

"Ha, sure feels like it." He is back to being oddly serious, you can't decide if you just think the attitude doesn't suit him or are angry he is spilling his guts to a masked stranger and not the real you. He has to know you would listen, but then maybe that's the problem. "You have to have that one friend who never sticks up for themselves right? Everybody does. Just don't make the mistake of- well they're stupid difficult to look after but someone's gotta do it right? No shame if you end up liking them."

"Oh yeah of course." Ace is going to never speak to you again if he figures out this is you. Or if he knows you were thinking about him when he started complaining about having a "friend" that's hard to look after. "No shame at all, really it's annoying how much cuter it makes them."

"You get it." He nods then remembers he is supposed to be the laid back guy in your friend group and returning to his "normal" attitude. "I mean who doesn't understand that? Seriously how tropey can things get sometime, like who still falls for their best friend anymore? How stupid does life think I am- look," he claps you on the back before steeling himself to head off back to where you assume Deuce and the other members of the Heartslabyul crew are, "you see any out of place, magicless prefects you bring them right to me yeah? They owe me a dance for all the headaches they've caused me this past year. And you had best bet I intend to collect." And just like that he's gone. Off to his friends, probably to poke Riddle some to ignore just how vulnerable he decided to be tonight.

And leaving you silently screaming into the night.

Epel

"SHHHHH!" Epel's a deceptively strong guy, it's something he would probably be bragging about right now if he knew you were thinking it. Well maybe not just right now, he has his hand roughly over your mouth as his eyes dart from side to side begging that it's just Vil that's on his tail and not Rook.

Something you are equally begging god for because there is no way that freak of nature is going to not recognize you immediately. Not that you are 100% certain he would turn you in, but there is something extremely uncomfortable about being known to begin with let alone when you are supposed to be disguised. Finally, the specter of the Queen passes by your little nook and Epel lets you go with a sigh.

"M'sorry." Epel is looking up at you like a kicked puppy, you can't tell if it's intentional or he really is just that remorseful. The two of you float towards the tempting fresh air of the balcony, Epel pouting up at the sky as if he is a princess about to break into song about how boring his life is and how if he could just run away into the great yonder he would. "I just really don't want to deal with my Housewarden right now. He keeps say'n I should make the most of the night or else I'll shame Pomefiore, but I just don't care." Well that's not exactly news but still, maybe you can help him snap out of it so he doesn't get into a heap of trouble he'll be complaining about later.

"Aren't you having fun with your friends?" It's a simple first option, safe enough for you to say even though you are supposed to be a stranger. Epel lets out a somewhat predictable sigh, though the sheer force of longing hidden in the eyes you swear are almost shining is not something you expected.

"Well yeah, but a Masquerade like this is super fancy right? There's all these costumes, music fit for slow dancing, perfect thing ta' do with someone special." Epel relaxes, completely comfortable with what he's saying to a supposed stranger in supposed anonymity as if he isn't sending you spiraling with that little admission. "I was really countin' on Yuu bein here." He closes his eyes, almost as if he is imagining what he would be doing if you had been invited and weren't... sneaking around hearing him admit something he definitely did not intend to do like this.

"D-don't you want to dance?" You say it more to distract yourself than Epel, honestly you would love nothing more than to hear him talk about all the fancy things he wants to do with this allegedly special person, but you need an out before he figures things out. Before Vil figures out that Epel's really shirking things and sends Rook. Before-

"Aw yer mighty charmin' but I got my eye on someone already." before Epel makes it super clear just what it is he feels and leaves you no room for denial. You almost feel sorry for the hypothetical stranger you are, Epel looks so... happy when he talks about you. You're almost jealous of yourself. "Say, you got an eye for fancy things? It's gotta suck bein left out of the party so I wanna bring my friend somethin' special but I ain't gotta clue what to do."

"Yourself." You say softly, feather twitching just out of the corner of your eye signalling your que to leave. "If you want to bring your friend something special you should just bring yourself."

[novarex]

Allright, I'm doing DROW SMASH OR PASS, Legend of Drizzt and Waf of the Spider Queen characters. I've seen this back in the tags and I want to play.

Drizzt Do'Urden - PASS - idk, he's not really my type, and he's just a little bit boring. It would also feel wrong somehow, and I don't know how to explain it. I mean... I wouldn't say no if he asked, but Cattie-Brie would have to be dead and I'd probably ask if he's sure like 10x.

Jarlaxle Baenre - SITUATIONAL - Don't get me wrong, he's lovely, but his personality is too close to mine, and there isn't enough air in one room for the both of us. But get me drunk, and I'd do it for sure.

Gromph Baenre - SMASH - Slamming the smash button until it breaks. If you know me at all you know I'm in love with this pathetic wizard man. He is both brilliant and stupid, and just the right amount of sarcastic, arrogant, sad, and pathetic. I would marry him. He wouldn't get a moment of peace because I'd be trying to entice him into bed 24/7. It's like he was written specifically for me to fall in love with. When he went missing in WOTSQ, I would have turned the city to rubble and made the rivers run red with blood looking for him. I know Cattie-Brie was pissy about the suggestive fantasies he put in her head with psionics, but I would literally learn psionics just to play a game of horny thoughts tag all day.

Zaknafein Do'Urden - SITUATIONAL - a bit too self righteous for my taste, and I think I'd probably get on his nerves. But I'd never turn down that legendary dick if I had a few shots in me. He's got some anger issues I'd prefer to steer clear of.

Kimmuriel Oblodra - PASS - I just don't think he'd be into it. I would also be incredibly uncomfortable with him having that much access to my thoughts. Unless, of course, he's into the wild fantasies that my brain cooks up...and in that case... we might turn this into a smash.

Rai'gy Bondalek - PASS - Strong possibility that he'd just make me self conscious. He's certainly intriguing, but he'd hate me for sure.

Dinin Do'Urden - SMASH - Dinin, my love. I would scoop him up and take him to a cottage in the woods and make sure his belly is full and his balls are empty and have all of his babies. I would brutally torture and maim anyone who ever dared to hurt him. I would burn cities to ash and end bloodlines for him. Dinin deserves so much better. I'm desperate for more Dinin, especially after the events of Lolth’s Warrior.

Rizzen Do'Urden - SMASH - I'd keep him as a pet. What malice did to him is unforgivable.

Nalfein Do'Urden - SMASH - I don't even know why other than he's pathetic in thre way that I like.

Beniago Baenre - SMASH - He's adorable. I would insist on him in his natural drow form, however. I bet he's a good lover too. In One Eyed Jax, Jarlaxle teases him a bit because he's definitely into human women. He smart, personable, and he definitely knows how to please a woman.

Braelin Janquay - SMASH - He deserves everything. I find him irresistibly adorable. He's spent more of his life outside of Menzoberranzan than in and has a pretty strong disdain for Lolthian culture. He is smart and clever and Jarlaxle adores him. Braelin has also suffered a lot and remains so loyal to Jarlaxle. Everything about him is attractive to me. He has quickly rocketed to my 3rd favorite, with Gromph as my #1 and Dinin as a very close #2.

Valas Hune - SMASH - I feel like we might genuinely get along. He'd be good to go camping with somewhere far from everyone else. I really thrive with one on one interactions, especially someone who needs personal space too.

Ravel Xorlarrin - PASS - He's such a fucking little booger. I might have liked him more if not for what he did to his brother/sire (it's just so fucked up what Matron Zeerith Xorlarrin did to Brack'thal after Horroodissmoth died). I just can't get over him in Charon's Claw. I want to slap him until he cries.

Brack'thal Xorlarrin - SMASH - Ok, I know he's only in one book (Charon's Claw) but he checks all of the "he's pathetic and tragic in all the right ways" boxes. His whole story makes me want to swoop him up and carry him off. Charon's Claw starts off so strong with him being kicked around that I just immediately wanted to protect him. His whole story just has me in a grip. It's really a shame we only got one book of him.

Tiago Baenre - HARD PASS - Fuck no. No way. I mean maybe if it gave me the opportunity to cut his throat, then I would make that sacrifice. He's the only irredeemable fuck face I can't find anything to like about. I'd kick him in the nuts.

Dantrag Baenre - SMASH - He definitely knows how to fuck. He's big too, which would be extra fun. I also have a weakness for Baenre boys.

Berg'inyon Baenre - SMASH - He seems like he'd know what he's doing, and if he didn't, he'd learn real quick.

Pharaun Mizzrym - SMASH - Let me be clear... I would not trust him at all. But come on, you know that sex has to be amazing. He knows what he's doing, is so good that he's an arrogant shit about it, and you'll definitely have a lot of orgasms. You know your legs won't work for a week after. There's a reason he's such a pain in Gromp's ass and it's because he's a wildly competent shitass.

Ryld Argith - MAYBE - He's just so practical it hurts. He also just doesn't seem to care that much about anyone other than Pharaun.

Nimor Imphrazel - SMASH - Half drow half dragon rabble rouser? Absolutely sign me the fuck up.

Allright. I'm not sure if I've missed anyone.

Tagging @vspin, @grandma-kei, @drizztdohurtin, and anyone else who wants to play. Feel free just to do the ones you know or add to it. I know I just did dudes.

[wetcatspellcaster]

I saw you respond that you a very much not an SJM fan 😅 fair enough but I did want to ask what books/series you did like or would recommend that are of a fantasy/romantasy vibe!

lmfao, i am destined to become known for my parasocial enmity with the wingspan lady on this hellsite.

I don't read stuff with the same vibe as SJM all that often anymore. I used to read a lot of paranormal romance but the heteronormativity of SJM clones was upsetting me, so I've turned more towards the romance genre or just straight up fanfic these days.

So these recommendations might not be the perfect overlap but-!

Books with Fey Romances that are good

Holly Black, for all your fey needs. Tithe is the OG (and if you like sad men with white hair, have I got a blorbo for you!) but The Cruel Prince is her most popular series, that most people have read. The Darkest Part of the Forest is also an amazing standalone novel with a bit more creepiness than the other two. Not very explicit sex.

Olivia Atwater's Half A Soul and Ten Thousand Stitches are regency romance novels with fey associations, the first book is about a girl under a fairy curse and the second is about a fairy himbo trying his best at being a fairy godmother. No sex, that I can remember.

Heather Fawcett's Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Fairies. I've talked about this book a lot. If you like my fanfic, you will like this book, because this book was written for Me specifically. Not very explicit sex.

The Falconer series by Elizabeth May. This is the closest in this list to what SJM writes, only this is. um. better. Much sex, but also just... 'what if we started an apocalypse together, and the guilt meant I was scared to touch you, but we've got nothing else to live for now so why shouldn't I just do it?'

Fantasy Books with Good Romance

T Kingfisher's Swordheart and Nettle & Bone - both standalone novels. Swordheart is just Howl x Sophie dynamics, if Howl was a martial class, and also. A sword. Some sexiness.

Uprooted by Naomi Novik (if we count the love interests as both the hot sexy wizard man AND the protagonist's gal pal). Some sexiness.

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. If you like your immortal/mortal romances, this is a pretty stellar read tbh. Some sexiness.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan. This is such a fun book just generally but the slowburn of a 7 year high school romance sent me a little feral actually. Some sexiness.

Daevabad trilogy by S.A. Chakraborty. Now, this one is a little bit evil bc its an epic fantasy trilogy that is quite dense, and the romance is amazing but it takes a WHILE. *I* can write an evil slowburn, but there is nothing more evil than what happened in these books bc everyone is so fucking repressed. Alternatively, The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by the same author, which cut to the chase a lot quicker, romance-wise.

Fantasy Books that are 😌😌 sexy 😌😌

The Dark Days Club by Alison Goodman. This is my favourite paranormal romance I've read in recent years, and they don't even have sex but I'm putting it here because um. they did. to me. That's what happens when you write a regency romance where if a woman takes of a man's coat they have 37 horny thoughts about it in real time. Imagine if Darcy and Elizabeth for P&P were also fighting demons at the same time as falling in love (not metaphorically. literal demons.)

Mating the Huntress by Talia Hibbert. Talia Hibbert's books in general fucking slap but I wish she'd written more paranormal romance than just this ONE story bc um. This was. um. Good.✌️

A Marvellous Light and A Restless Truth by Freya Marske. Freya Marske is also a popular fanfic author, and it shows with the way she writes sex.

That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon by Kimberly Lemming. This author is the one who went briefly viral bc she accidentally has a book cover with Astarion on it lmao. This book was the first in that series, and unfortunately it wasn't for me (dragon shifter porn, I did *not* know going in) but the sex was really, really well-written, if that's something you could be into.

[oxyvouge]

: ̗̀➛ wax wings ༊·˚

summary: after the news of Sirius cheating on you broke out to the whole wizarding world, you confronted him about it.

━━ ✦ pairing(s): husband! sirius black x wife! reader

━━ ✦ warning: cheating

━━ ✦ word count: 1,382

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'M BACK but several months late 😭🙏. here's your request, @lilacspider. hope y'all enjoy <333

YOU DIDN'T exactly remember how you got in this position; with your eyes screaming anger, sadness, and regret all in one in front of your husband himself, Sirius Black.

You didn't get it, why would he do this? And you will never get it. What was the reason? Were you not enough? Aren't you both happy? Why did everything lead to this? There were so many questions floating in your head yet you preferred if they were left unanswered.

Tho, you quite vividly remembered how you watched your son going back to his playroom after giving you a letter he found somewhere inside the house. How Marlene drank all the remaining butterbeer, putting it down on the table with a loud clang.

How Marlene also started talking shit about Sirius. "Honestly, Black can fuck Merlin's Beard. He and his bloody dick can't control itself." How Dorcas kicked Marlene after hearing what she said. "What? I'm right tho. If he controlled his dick, Y/N wouldn't even be in this situation now."

Everything could ramble all over your fuzzy mind but you would never forget how you looked into a specific page of the Daily Prophet reading Sirius' name. BLACK'S AFFAIR BRINGS SHAME TO FAMILY LEGACY. It was written on the headline.

You couldn't bring yourself to read the whole article. It was heart-wrenching. What would become of your son if he was to know? That the whole wizarding world knew about his father's affair except for him.

But you couldn't bring yourself to tell him about it so here you are, confronting Sirius about it with angry tears from the all-for-nothing years that were wasted because of a single affair.

Letters burnt but a single is saved yet crumpled in between your tightly closed hands.

"Be careful with that one, love. He may have already left the Black household, but what runs through him will never leave. He will do what it takes to survive." That was what Dorcas said. Was what they all said. But did you believe it?

You heard rumors about him yet never once in your life have you doubted Sirius' faithfulness until now.

"Are you happy now? Do you feel proud of yourself?" You managed to crack out. "You got back at the legacy you've always been talking about. And now you have a broken family. Congratulations." Legacy. Such a word to risk something important for. But was it just something important?

Sirius didn't say anything. Maybe he was too ashamed to even say anything. He should be. Sirius opened his mouth to speak yet he didn't say anything. You noted how his jaw clenched and his eyes darting everywhere all at once refusing to look you back in the eye.

"You think you're so slick, don't you? Slithering around behind my back like some kind of serpent. You should've been with the Slytherins like your whole family. Tell me, Sirius, why did you do it?"

A scoff was the only sound that came from his mouth. Sirius set his eyes on you, courage slowly building up and that lump in his throat disappearing. "You were gone. I was alone and lonely." Was the only thing he said.

It didn't need you a minute or two to put things together. It's his dick. It always has been. "Was she worth it then? Trading our vows for your lack of companionship?"

"This isn't the first time, Y/N." Dorcas took a look at you and held your hand in an assuring way. "You've married an Icarus, he has flown too close to the sun." They must've been laughing at you already. Noting how dumb you could be, especially in the face of love.

"No! She was no one! She begged me." Sirius cried. He never cried like this so hard ever since he left the Black household for the better.

You laughed. It was stupid. Men and their ability to make stupid decisions with their dick. "Because you were alone? Do you even know why you're alone, Sirius? Because you refuse to come home and now you're pulling me that bloody excuse of loneliness like it was my fault when it wasn't!"

"But I still love you, Y/N!" He kneeled, wanting to grab your hand and beg to all of the Gods out there, Merlin, but most importantly, to you.

"No. I refuse to believe that. That became a lie ever since you were entangled with that woman." You felt tears building up in the corner of your eyes but you would never let it fall. Not when he could see and may use for his self-pleasure. "My—Cepheus, our son, was always coming to our bedroom asking when you'd be back." You emphasized. "You know what I always tell him? I tell him, "Daddy will come home, honey, once you're a good and big boy already!" and he must've already memorized it."

"I'm a big boy now, aren't I, mother?" Your 6-year-old son asked as he stood in front of a measuring tape for his height.

You've always been in front of your porch, waiting when Sirius would come home. "When was the last time he came home?" You remembered Lily asking that and how you stayed silent thinking carefully, when did he last come home? But you never knew the answer to that.

"Every time I look at you now, I see nothing but betrayal etched into your face. That must've been the reason why you never come home."

Maybe you should've burned the article moments ago so you didn't have to be in this position. Like how you burnt the letters he gave you. "Did your wax wings melt? Because I would never understand where you got the courage to do that and admit it like it was never your fault."

You turn from him and into the table where the newspaper lies. You turn to snatch it from there and show it to Sirius. You let out a chuckle, "It was ironic, honestly. You've always talked about legacy; legacy this, legacy that." You took a moment to compose yourself yet your eyes never left Sirius'. "Are you that blind Sirius? They aren't your legacy Sirius. Your legacy isn't your family who you turned your back on. Not Hogwarts. Not the Marauders. Not the Wizarding World. Not them but us. We are your legacy."

You've married the brightest star in the sky, he collided with another and everything exploded. "You've left scars on my heart that may never heal, all because you couldn't keep it in your pants."

You regained your posture and said, "By the break of dawn, I want every each one your clothes and things gone from this house."

"Mommy, is everything alright?" You heard a soft voice calling out to you. You turned to look at the door and saw how your son was holding onto the doorknob, peaking with his tired eyes that came from his sleep. Sirius stood up from the floor and turned away from Cepheus. "Dad?"

You passed Sirius and walked straight towards your son. "Baby?" You bent down to look at him and saw how he rubbed his eyes with a yawn. "Come on, let's go to bed. Daddy has things to do and he's in a hurry baby."

"He's always gone." Your son muttered, catching Sirius' attention. You both left the room and closed the door behind you.

"Did you and dad fight, mommy?" You only managed to smile.

Dear Y/N,

You're the person I want to spend my entire life with. You're the match in a world full of moths and it's drawing me to you. I chased you ever since first year and I don't plan on just walking towards you anytime soon. I want to run. Let's run till we can't anymore. I would watch the world burn, let the supernova engulf the Universe, and let everything fall apart in front of us as long as I'm with you.

I love you so much, my love. Words can't explain how much I love you to the Saturn and back. But maybe, I'm certain, every time I look at you, I fell a million times over.

Let's build a family. A new legacy of the Blacks. It'll be for us all; and maybe, just maybe we can show them what being a Black is really like.

With all love,

S. O. B.

you can make a request here where you'll be guided by the guidelines and check out the masterlist.

this is the most beautiful thing i've written 🥹🥹

ps. i still hate cheaters.

[linka-from-captain-planet]

My favorite thing to do as a background character fan is to commandeer things the devs definitely didn’t MEAN to be characterization and/or storytelling and MAKE them characterization and/or storytelling

Everyone constantly refers to Alfira as a bard, but she only has 12 charisma. She has 16 INT instead. Rolan has wizard stats and Lakrissa has ranger stats, so why doesn't Alfira have bard stats? Is it because she's an apprentice? Why give her these discordant stats in the first place, instead of the flat 10s the other non-combatant tieflings get? Is she a bit old to be an apprentice or is that normal? Was she something else before finding her calling in becoming a bard? How did she know Lihala? Why does she have like 2000 gold worth of reward to give you for saving her not-even-girlfriend (apparently equivalent to 1/5 of the entire net worth of everyone in Baldur's Gate??)?? How the fuck did she get herself and presumably Lakrissa with her into the city!!

Why change Florrick's dress from the flashy-but-modest peacock dress she wore in EA (they later put it on Lucretious) to her current dress, which looks sort of reasonable for a fancy wizard until you notice the huge sheer panels and thong-exposing waist-high thigh splits. Obvi she should have an eye-catching outfit to communicate she's Important, but why THAT outfit? She's not even presented as a character you're supposed to find sexy; she's presented as a stalwart, reserved fed. Her epilogue letter is about being a wet blanket! She doesn't seem like the type of person who would wear such a dress, but clearly she is because she does! Interesting!!

What motivates Lakrissa to say, apropos of basically nothing, with a sad look on her face, "I'm nothing if not cheap."

Why is Quartermaster Talli the only vendor (off the top of my head) you can randomly ask (flirt with) for free shit? Why is the thing she gives you a supply pack? Where did she even get all that awesome shit.

And so on. This is how I keep myself engaged over 500+ hours of playing the same game over and over.

[hcourageous]

idk man maybe it’s because i play a lot of high wisdom classes and characters, but i’m 100% team Ame-Made-The-Right-Fucking-Choice and not just because Brennan basically confirmed it on the fireside

like. ame and eursulan are gonna get so much shit for collateral damage, but you know whose fault it is? it’s fucking morrow and the empires fault. the empire didn’t keep track of their fucking outlier wizards. the empire didn’t put checks and balances in their system.

and sure, steel was on her way! steel could have set naram free! but you know what it wouldn’t have been? public. it would have been quiet. it would have been buckled down. the empire would have paid no cost for the injustice they caused to naram and orima and the world of spirits. the would have learned no lessons. and let’s say steel isn’t around forever, maybe the next sword of the citadel isn’t as understanding, doesn’t care about the harm of destroying a great spirit and what that would do to the balance of the world?

this was public, this was open, this was the course of action that cost lives. but absolutely no one can say that the cost of the empire being able to sweep this under the rug wouldn’t cause greater harm. eursulon made a promise, a binding promise. ame did her job as a witch and made not a perfect choice but the RIGHT choice! and now they can mitigate the civilian damage but don’t misplace the blame here. morrow and the citadel wizards and everyone who was complicit and didn’t nothing to stop them all the way to the top of neglecting their powerful magic users and letting them go without correction. they’re the ones to blame.

ame and eursulon did the right thing. a sad thing. a hard thing. but a public action that shows the hubris and fallibility of the empire. and they’re right.

[doveissummerstuck]

PAGE 1-10 ACT 1

we here chat

Ok this begins now,,,

The iconic a young man stands in his bedroom he really do be standing tho

but thats literally his name guys!!! and I got insulted,,, so sad literally cries

yeah ok pal,,, im still gonna call you zoosmell pooplord,, :/ anyways first character of the comic he's really silly guys look at that goofy smile bro is literally 8D

ok so first the room,, we sharin a bday ,, pretty cool next the fucking cake on the drawer..for what purpose john,, ok next the bed,, banger I love his sheets next the hot male above his bed,, smash /hj next the hammer and nails on the floor??? PICK THAT UP JOHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! chest go hard tho but why there a cake on it

yeah i can tell about the cakes,, I can tell johnny boy,, o em gee programmaer u nerd (i code for a living) I <3 paranormal lore yall,, and good for u as a magician but fuck dat have to do with the nails and on the floor and the cake on drawer,,,wait bars

i didnt even notice he didnt have his arms what (homestuck brainrot)

dumbass pooplord antics /lh

yea do that remove that oddly placed cake

WHY THE FUCK DID IT TURN BLUEBERRY ....

i would NOT do that ( i would absolutely do that) but I wouldn't put it on his bed,, I've eaten cake in bed to many crumbs :/

get yo arms my manz you you you armless

what the fuck,, WHY ARE YOU HOKDLING UR OWN ARMS,, also why the photo in the chest look like his dad

and they disapereadd with the captachalogeu

oh they fake ik that ( no I didnt) now get up to some silly antics my boy ,,, bruh is a captachaloguemaxxing syalldex sigma 😹 (sorry) anwyas look at the other items

first we got arms

next we got beans???

next we got ultimate silly antics disguise

a book titled Colonel Sasacare's Daunting text and Magicl Rivorioli and Practical Japripory

next we have a book titled wise guy

next we have a sword that looks like its made of white bamboo

a wizard hat that matches the chest

handcuffs

and more beans???????????????????

oh,, ik that tottally, :3 i mean i got most of them right ,, but tf is a beagle puss is that what its called,,, anyways

bro only got 4 lilttle logue thingies bruhh

isnt vernaclaur a vein or something what

yeah bro and u have 2 cakes pls put 2 AND 2 TOGETHER

this is finna be good!!!

ion think bro can equip it

knew he couldnt equpi it,, call me vriska cause I'm pyshcic (that joke made no sense sorry) ,, bro got the worst fecth modus every bro cant access shit,,, bros room finna be looking like he just got passed the blunt,, STACK DATA STRUTCTURE??? nerdy ass fetch modus bruh,, (I love the name) bro I find it puzzling and mildly irritating too bruh oml,,, "but with any hope" but with any hope.. but wwith any hope? but wvith any hope? but wvwith any hope?

sorry yrall ampora moment [the last 1 is my ampora oc guys :::::::;) ]

ok imma shut up now good night or good morning ,, imma contiunwe this later,,

[asexual-disaster]

‼️FHJY EP 2 SPOILERS ‼️

all my thoughts about episode two of junior year !! it’s a long one :)

The little scenes when they describe their attacks and moves where the minis are acting it out is so cute

‘A mega version of Riz’s mage hand’

They all look so good. But especially Ally and Murph omg

Adaine’s first turn was actually pretty sick

And Gorgugs wtf

AND KRISTENS TO MAKE IT BLOODED PLS

‘Do you have mass healing word? Would you be interested in doing that?’

‘Brennan you’re literally bullying us’

‘You can try, oh it does hit’

ARMOUR OF AYDA crying

These beans are DUE

Murph starting to roll like shit again

Fabian flirting with efac again

‘I punch the mirror’ ‘I punch Kristen twice’

Lou Nat one again to get out the van ‘I’m going to throw up’

In two turns Lou only needs a 2 to not get crushed by the van, and twice he rolls a nat one

‘For you to half or third or whatever you do since it has multiple attacks’

Adaine death fail instead of taking a Dex save wtf

‘You don’t have it written down! I thought you read the book’

ECAF NOOOO

‘Look somewhere else’

I need a full story of Balthazar and Duggan, THEY WERE LOVERS

Murphs sleeves being short enough to show off his tattoos, I might disintegrate

What is with these kids and crashing vehicles

Ally throwing their dice

‘With my wizarding powers and my absolutely fucked van’

‘Just don’t roll a one and this is over.’ ‘NAT 20’

Gorgug IS the greatest wizard of our time

DUGGAN NO. At least he’s with Balthazar now :(

Moggy the doggy crit <3

‘Can I get under that hood a lil bit’

‘Give me a tinkerers room check’ ‘I don’t have that’

‘It’s limp silk’

‘Fabian, photosynthesis is back!!’

It just ain’t the same

‘I don’t even cutting words. I just take it’

‘I’m feeling a little unhinged’

‘Love is love’

Gorgug double crit, my boy <3

The enemy rolling two Nat ones and shooting himself in the eye

Murph dying of laughter of these guys showing up late

‘Nat 20’ ‘are you serious?’ Balthazar is everywhere

Adaine would’ve got a job, Fabian would’ve gone to dance camp, Gorgug would’ve worked on his van ; THEYRE JUST KIDS

But Riz is just happy they got to spend the summer together STOP MY SON

‘I do a half hearted prayer of healing just because I don’t trust you’

‘This was supposed to be an in and out deal but I got involved and I regret it’

‘Hey girlie,,, heyyy girlieee’

HALLARIEL ART, UGH SHES SO HOT

Gilear x Hallerial wedding WHEN

There’s something so sad about Fabian, who’s been coddled his whole life, being abandoned and left to fend for himself in a massive house

SKLONDA MY FIRST AND ONLY LOVE

Sklonda talking to Riz about college and how she doesn’t know if she can afford it for him

Riz just wants to go to college with everyone stop :(( him and adaine are fine there grades are good, but he needs to make sure he finds a place that suits the others please!!!!

WILMA AND DIGBY I LOVE U !! THEYRE SO CUTE

WAIT DID GORGUG AND ZELDA BREAK UP?? THEY ARE NOT THE COUPLE THAT WAS MEANT TO SPLIT !! Although calling it rn they’re getting back together

‘The elven oracle, the Saint of mystery and doubt, and the archdevil of rebellion’ THATS MY GIRLS!!!

RAGH AND LYDIA ART I MIGHT SOB

Kristen never told anyone she changed gods (I guess twice now?), Fig still hasn’t been to a bard class. They’re so funny

WE GOT AYDA ART!!!!

Ayda leaving Fig fossils to say she loves her her!!

Aelwyn putting protective wards on adaines bedroom to keep adaine safe :((

Cassandra my love,, but also it should not be up to a literal child who has just came out a religious cult to keep you alive and all that.