#when i'm simply really pleased that i got to serve and provide

[beatrixst0nehill]

"A few years ago I went to college and decided to study for my art degree in Europe. When I first arrived it was so scenic and beautiful, an unforgettable couple of days. It all seemed like a fairytale dream, until we finally began our studies.... No dorm or sorority, we had to stay at a series of Hostels as we traveled from city to city. Most of the Hostels were dingy places with two stars or less. Many had no functional locks on the doors, or no doors at all, rooms with bunk cots that held up to a dozen people, who came and went as they pleased. No door to the bathroom or shower curtains.

I quickly became used to my new life. I barely studied.... I spent most of my time getting ganged up on and fucked by random men in the Hostels, including the other students. They would have their way with me whenever they wanted, and if I even tried to object my professor would call me a prude, and that I needed to relax and embrace the locals' way of life. Which soon included tattooing me, practicing on my skin or just branding me for their amusement. I have words meaning things like 'whore', 'cow', and 'please rape me' in languages I don't even know tattooed all over my body.

I slowly lost any sense of dignity or coyness about the whole thing, as I lay there pregnant, smoking weed, rubbing myself, high out of my mind as one man fucks me, another tattoos my arm, another tattoos my thigh, and others grope my breasts or jerk off on me as I smoke like crazy. I became so dumb and slow and horny I couldn't really function as a student. I got an 'A' simply for being openminded and adapting to this new culture so selflessly. I did provide a great service for all the men there, after all.....

I don't even remember how many kids I pushed out. I think I'm up to my fifth pregnancy.....? I keep leaving my contributions at orphanages around Europe..... My name was even legally changed to 'Rapemeat'...... It was my professor's idea. Last name, 'Fuckpig'. I had all my documents updated and he told me I need to earn extra credit, and told me I needed to stay at this Hostel in the Slovakia. I don't know the language, I just lay in this room and the maids give me food and drink, sometimes guests take me out to a bar and get me hammered.....

I guess I'm not an American anymore, or a student at my old university..... I think my professor might've sold me after he had me renamed. Now I guess I'm just a pregnant whore who never speaks. I only moan and giggle and make dumb little grunts as men talk to me, even when they use English I just shrug and giggle. Since I'm too stupid now to understand all these big words.... The only thing I know how to do is serve cock, and I've never been happier. I hope my new owner sells me after I give birth. I want to be a whore in as many cities and countries as possible and serve as many men as I can!"

[rahuratna]

HI!! I love your reasons on why Nanami speaks to you on a personal level sm!! It’s so interesting because you pointed out a different perspective I’ve never thought about before. The reason why I started liking Nanami was because of his journey of finding a sense of purpose. If I were to drop myself into the JJK verse and had the option to convince Nanami to stay as a sorcerer instead of a salaryman, I wouldn’t. Because then he wouldn’t have known if being a salaryman and, like you mentioned in some of your fics, having a simple and more ordinary lifestyle made him more fulfilled.

Then your insights on identity comes to play: no matter what you choose to do with life, it doesn’t completely define you because we also have to consider the emotions and experiences that make us human. What we never got to see was what Nanami did in his free time and, excluding the value/service he provided for others and the short clips from “Where our blue is”, what memories and experiences that made him happy and loved. That’s also why reading your works is so good and comforting 😭 😭

You also talked about lack of self-preservation which I think makes a lot of sense given the pressures Jujutsu society. For Nanami, I think he feels like there’s barely a choice in what he can do. Both being a salaryman and a jujutsu sorcerer means being “exploited” by the higher ups. As a salaryman, he was “making the rich richer,” and as a sorcerer, he and his peers were being sent out to risk their lives to kill curses instead of the powerful elders doing it themselves (particularly with his best friend’s death). The higher ups in society do not care or value his life because there will always be more sorcerers and salarymen to replace him in terms of the job. THATS WHY I LOVED WHEN YOU POINTED OUT THAT YOUR JOB DOESNT DEFINE YOUR IDENTITY AIDHNSJDNBDKS. I think that’s what might have influenced Nanami to have a lack of self-preservation like you said. Yes because being a sorcerer requires it, but also because the only semblance of meaning that society could provide him was providing value to the innocent and weak which ultimately costed his life.

IT MAKES ME SO SAD BECAUSE HE DESERVES THE MOST AND HES SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT *sob sob*… tysm for all the character analysis you do, it makes me so happy talking about it :) Please add on if you have any more thoughts 🫶 🫶

Firstly, this is what I love about writing fanfic. These conversations with fellow fans who appreciate the same things about the series and characters is just golden to me 💛💛. I'm so, so flattered and glad that my interpretation of Nanami provides these different perspectives and I love hearing your ideas on it too!

So, I really liked Nanami's character to begin with, but there was one particular scene, where he wipes away the tear of the transfigured human, that really made me sit up and take note.

When the show got into his background, I immediately picked up on how much he values others over himself. It ties in with what you said about how there could possibly have been a happier reality for him if he'd simply chosen the path of a 'normal' life. Maybe he could have eventually retired and lived that peaceful existence.

And this is where he truly becomes a tragic figure for me. I feel like the world he lived in would never have allowed that peace. His compassion, desire to protect and serve others and his strong beliefs always shine through. Jujutsu society favours the ruthless, the predators, the ones who can detach and operate without thinking too hard about the cost, like Mei Mei, for example.

Nanami is not an apex predator. He's very strong, but a foot soldier, and one who fully acknowledges his own weaknesses. While his compassion and heart make him a sterling human being, they don't grant him safety, or survival.

To reiterate what I said in my previous post, he does define himself by how well he can serve others. Which is his job.

You also pointed out something really important, which was that Nanami's search for purpose makes him so interesting. I think that the trauma he suffered from the death of his friend, along with possibly the survivor's guilt, is what actually led to him under-valuing himself like this, and also prioritizing the younger sorcerers. He thought so hard about his own purpose, but was also so blind to his own value as a human being, with qualities that made him so much more than JUST a salaryman, or JUST a sorcerer.

Yaga said something to Yuuji which always stuck with me; that in their world, being a sorcerer requires a certain level of insanity, an ability to detach yourself so that you can face the horror of the curses with reckless bravery.

Nanami had his own brand of insanity, one that allowed him to actually remain attached to the value of peoples' lives, to express kindness and compassion, and STILL go out there and face the dangers of his job with a straight back and steady heart. It wore him down terribly, but his powerful belief in his own principles allowed him to do his job, day after day.

That unique madness was what tore away any sense of self-preservation and self-value he had, but also served as one of the strongest inspirations to those who he left behind. Their value of him, their grief and their loss, speaks volumes about the man he was.

I love writing those same aspects you mentioned, the little things that give him happiness and pleasure, the healing and understanding of his own importance, the simplicity of his needs being met.

Cheers to plenty more fanfic! And always feel free to drop me your thoughts, even if you had a random 1 am musing! I love hearing them!

[lutawolf]

My Personal Weatherman and the D/s element Ep 3

If you haven't read my other episode break-downs, please do so here.

Let me just say, I love Segasaki. Oh, so much. He works hard to read Yoh. There is a lot of respect there, it's just there is also a lot of miscommunication. He commands Yoh, put that aside and come eat breakfast with me. And Yoh immediately obeys. While saying, he hates Segasaki in the most sappy inner voice ever. Leading us to believe that I hate you, is code for, I love you.

I really like you, is big dialogue? I mean, even porn should have some kind of plot asshole. I wanna beat his boss. Oh, Yoh is eating out. Change of scenery. Then surprise, Segasaki shows up. I adore it. He knows Yoh enough to know that he would be doing café sketches, so he came by. Um, good thing Segasaki missed seeing him with the girl. hahahaha. Are all Doms jealous? I get this question a lot. The answer is no. However, all Doms are possessive. That's not to say they can't also be jealous, but I personally am known for my possessiveness with damn near zero jealousy.

Their friendship is cute though. She got some brains there. She does. Why isn't he drawing BL! Um, he likes to draw breasts. Okay, I respect that.

The indecisiveness of a submissive. It's a thing. The more submissive, the less they like to make decisions. I however, want to make all the decisions unless I'm hungry, then I short circuit and sound like any hangry female. Segasaki asks if Yoh is working, Yoh says it doesn't matter. So Segasaki says they are going out, and he still asks again if Yoh has plans. Very respectful. Segasaki has way too much respect for any of Yoh's boundaries for anyone but dumbass Yoh to think he is a slave. That little smile Segasaki gives! Ahhhh!

They're on a date! So cute! I love how Segasaki just stares at Yoh and waits for him to notice. You are looking at a Dom with a strong primal instinct. The hunt, the chase, and outwitting his prey.

So much went down at this scene. Okay, so first, notice that Segasaki orders for Yoh. When I talk about a Dom serves food, this is what I mean. Everyone wants me to explain the difference between a Dom and sub serving food, and it's hard to. I can't just say, well one is a Dom and one is a sub, but that is it. The attitude involved with food is different. Segasaki and Yoh are a great example of this. Can you see the difference in how they both serve the food? How one is an act of service while the other is providing? Even in the way Segasaki takes a bite from Yoh's bun, he asks, but he is already going in for a bite and Yoh is already offering. The asking is simply Segasaki being soft with his commands. There is a reason why Brat Tamers are often called charming. Now, also notice that Segasaki purposely brought up the price, he also made sure to say that Yoh doesn't need to worry about it. This is him saying, no matter what, I can provide for you. Which is very important. A sub does not want a Dom that can't provide security. Think about it, a submissive is giving all of themselves, of course they need to feel secure.

Look at the difference in how Yoh asks for a bite. Look how he double-checks that it's okay. Totally different vibe. They felt like only Gyaru could have it? Like only females?

Oh, the ride is giving me My Accidental Love vibe. Yoh honey, this is a date. So cute!

Segasaki pushed that sales lady right out of the way. He wasn't rude, but he clearly indicated that Yoh was his. Poor Yoh is clueless. Man is cute but dumb. Seriously dumb. Thankfully, Segasaki is all about this idiot. He really does get him. OMG, the sheets!!! This is going down as my favorite. HAHAHA

Segasaki teases until Yoh admits. He teases, and then he praises. Ah, now Segasaki is calling him out. He continues to push. Causing Yoh to retreat, but Segasaki won't let him. He then calls Yoh an idiot. Fair enough because he is.

The kisses though! The kisses!!

See, Segasaki knows Yoh. Aw, the way Yoh curls in on him. So cute!

These two are killing me. I need more. Now! I'm looking forward to the next one. Hopefully you guys are too. If you enjoyed this. Let me know. 💜💜💜

[noxxuniverse]

okay im officially done with this stuff i seriously cant do this anymore. ive been manifesting my df for a month now and literally nothing. happened. in fact the opposite happened my acne is at its worst i got a pimple on my cheek thats going to scar now and got another big one on my nose. i am just so fucking exhausted with all of this i feel like im seriously going fucking insane im so scared i feel like im this close to getting psychosis. and before you tell me im not persisting enough or whatever i HAVE. ive literally done it all i lived in my imagination i saturated every morning and every night and throughout the day id affirm on loop in my mind ive lived in the end ive literally even told people im starting to resemble my df. dont even tell me to ignore my 3D or whatever what the fuck am i supposed to do? drive myself fucking crazy? if manifesting is easy and inevitable then literally why the fuck isnt it happening? please provide a logical answer that isnt some gaslight and blaming shit like "you just dont get it". it just doesnt fucking work. im so exhausted from this im so tired of my head always hurting and feeling like im going crazy and feeling suicidal i was right to give up on this loa shit 3 years ago youre all just lying or going through psychosis nobody wants to post proof or anything everyone just wants to blame the people that are still mentally sound

You want my honest opinion? It's your mindset. From what you're saying, I'm just like- jesus christ. All of this over the fact you haven't manifested your DF? That's really worrying and you should seek therapy because babes, I am not your therapist. I'm about to give some tough love and I'm going to be stern and I'm going to say whatever the fuck I want because this is my blog and if you don't want me to tell you the truth then find someone else to tell you this shit, either way you're either gonna sit the fuck down and listen or you're gonna read through this like another post you've overconsumed on and not actually apply what I'm saying. We'll see.

First off, calm the fuck down. You are in such a bad mental state, so stop manifesting for a while. Take a break, don't even think about manifesting, just do something that you like, focus on other things, just until you feel better. One reminder I will give, is once you find out about LOA it's very difficult to go back.

Secondly, you say you're doing everything you can to get your DF. You wouldn't even be thinking about how long its been nor the fact you need to get it, you'd simply have it. So no, you haven't been fulfilling yourself properly, actually I would say you're obsessively attached to your desire in a very bad way and you need to healthily detach. Your desire is yours the moment you decide it is, so stop acting as if what you see in your external world is your reality. Because yeah, you need to ignore your 3D when it shows you something you don't want to see, that's how it works. The external world is literally a reflection of your assumptions, if you assumed that your DF was the truth, then it would have reflected because the external world is just made up of our internal world. If you aren't getting what you want, then clearly you believe you can't get what you want. I'm going to tell you something, you aren't special. And I mean that in the sense of, manifestation isn't going to just be like "Yep! I'm not gonna work for you specifically." It serves you, you're always manifesting, even right now, you've manifested me to say this message to you. The point is, you're just manifesting that you can't consciously manifest, if others can get their shit, so can you. But you've overcomplicated LOA so much, like please don't do that it is so simple, it is as simple as we tell you it is. It's simply a decision that you persist on when you want to, you don't constantly think about it unless you want to. You just have it and you're just reminding yourself that you have it.

So to summarise, take a break, healthily detach, then decide you have it and remind yourself you have it. Not because you have to, but because you want to.

Also, don't come at other people just because you're struggling. A lot of us have been there, but don't blame others. No, no one is lying, no one is going through psychosis and nobody is blaming anyone except for you and those who are in your shoes.

This is a bit messy but I hope you got the point. [im not going to put loa tags just because of triggers + the fact you decided to insult the LOA community for whatever reason.]

[adleryoung]

There was an awkward silence as the aspiring witches stood there and gawked at me expectantly. I stared back at them with mild astonishment. I didn't feel so bad now about all of my failed previous attempts! Rebecca and Burnside couldn't do any better! This proved that lowfolk really were useless (except for Barkingthwaite and Venatrix … I was either really lucky or really good to get them) I would really have my work cut out for me with this group. Perhaps after I established contact with Edessa's lowfolk magick school, I could offload these girls onto them, thereby freeing up Rebecca and Burnside to help me tend to more important (i.e. elfly) matters.

"Pleased to meet you, Your Lordship," the bear in the school uniform finally said, after the silence had become uncomfortable. "Harriet Gardener, at your service. I must say, I am delighted to have the great Lord Randal here at our coven. I have some bold new ideas to bring the study of magick into the modern age. I've observed that much of the mysticism and hocus-pocus associated with magick merely serves as a detriment, an obstacle if you will, which severely inhibits the process of learning. It is time to dispense with magick's old supernatural trappings and pull it into the light of the new century dawning on the horizon! Like every natural force, magick is something that can be measured and quantified through the scientific method."

"Wanting to change the fundamental way magick is studied," I said carefully, trying to keep civil for Rebecca's sake, "is a very bold stance for a starting novice. I must point out that the mysterious and elusive nature of magick is essential to its workings. Like a, uh, mushroom, it thrives in the shadows. If one were to try to measure and quantify it, 'drag it into the light' as you say, it would simply wither and die. Such is the nature of anything that is mystical and legendary, like the land of Faerie itself. It is a living, dynamic thing. To pin it down like some sort of .. specimen, to study and dissect, well then it would by necessity have to be dead."

"I mean no disrespect, Your Lordship," Harriet Gardener persisted. "Your old way of thinking has, I'm sure, served you well in the past .. but the world is changing. Science is pulling back the veil and gaining a new understanding of the very nature of reality itself! I have every confidence that it is my destiny to change the study of magick in this way. I have the power of fate on my side. Ever since I was a child I've had a mysterious scar on my side where they removed my appendix. It's in the shape of the bird."

"Seriously?" I retorted, starting to lose my patience. "You scoff at the idea of mysticism, but simultaneously believe in vague things like omens and destiny just because you have a scar in the shape of a bird?"

"Fate is a force of nature like any other," Harriet declared. "And my scar is not in the shape of A bird, it is THE Bird. You know - the gesture when you hold up your hand and extend your middle-"

"I'M BATHIL!" the feline in the pointy hat suddenly proclaimed as she lunged forward and swatted at Harriet's hand. "Witch Bathil. My parenth are quite fond of Roman cuithine. And let me jutht thay that I for one wholeheartedly embrathe the ancient traditionth of magick, however I am thomewhat confuthed by the lack of the most bathic traditionth in the handful of magick texth Mithtreth Rebecca hath provided for the coven. There ith a dithtinct lack of eye-of-newt, black candleth, and thalt pentagramth. Thurely thith ith a mithtake that Your Lordthip can correct now that you're here?"

"When will we learn how to commune with our ancestral spirits?" Fiona MacCumhal interrupted enthusiastically. "I can't wait to prove my noble elven heritage once and for all. I mean, I know it's true, but these LOWFOLK demand tangible evidence."

"All right gals, break it up," Burnside barked abruptly, much to my relief. "Give the Almighty White Elf some breathin' room. He just got here, an he didn't come all this way just to listen to yo' prattle. Git back to what you was a-doin' so's I can talk some business with His Highness."

The witches resumed the activities they were engaged in when I arrived, and Burnside led me over to the edge of the clearing.

"What's on your mind?" I asked, grateful for the reprieve, but somewhat surprised that it was Burnside who saved me from an awkward situation that surely must have been entertaining to watch.

"Ah know what yer fixin to say," she whispered. "This here coven ain't nothin but a bunch o' losers an dorks. Normally I'd be tickled pink to watch em fumble around an make fools o themselves, but this coven means the world to Rebecca. She wanted to be able to show you some success, an well .. now you're here, you seen what we got. It'd absolutely destroy her if this'n fails like all the others, more specially after the news you brung about Bunkirk. You know me; normally I wouldn't give two hoots about somebody else's feelins, but… Rebecca's the only one who stuck by me for this long. She's the only real friend I've had in my entire cotton-pickin life. An you need to understand, she thinks the world o you. All them years we was waitin for you, Rebecca kep' goin on and on about how 'oncet ol Adler gets back, everthang'll fall into place an be all right.' Well I known you a sight longer'n she has, but the poor gal wouldn't listen to sense, least not on this subject. So she's got awful high expectations. I guess what I'm gettin at is: Please, don't disappoint her."

"I'll try my best," I mumbled as I stared at Burnside in absolute shock. Never in my life did I ever expect the legendary Raccoon Monster to care about someone other than herself.

"That's what I was afraid of," she replied bitterly.

[xxactlyperfect]

You want me to provide mainstream people while you yourself don't provide any mainstream people. Wow, what a surprise. You really got me!

In addition, Lily Tino, for obvious reasons. Nikita Dragun with his infamous bodycam recording. Sophie Labelle and his very questionable "art". Andrea Long Chu and his deranged statements.

But let's go back to fascism, since you love accusing radical feminists of that. Let's make it clear that I don't give a shit about these trans identifying people just existing. What pisses me off is them being so widely homophobic, misogynistic and racist. What pissess me off is them denying simple biology. They're not "simply existing" when making themselves the centre of politics. So, no, it's not a fear of difference. Be for real.

"How does #6 read if you change it to read 'appeal to frustrated women, a class suffering from economic crisis or feelings of political humiliation'?" - By this logic, we can call all feminists ever fascists. Becaues hooow dare you disagree with the absolute lunacy going on? How dare you not want to have fewer rights? Why won't you turn a blind eye to femicides? In what world are trans people a "lower social group"? You get shit served on a golden platter. LGB and women's rights took decades, upon decades, upon decades of straight-up grinding and ripping teeth out to get any recognition. But here comes the trans movement! What, 10 years later it's transphobic for lesbians to not want to suck dick? Aye, sure.

Notice how you just skip over the nationalism part. Of course, fascism will apply to whoever you want when you just spin the definition and theory into whatever you need at the moment. You kidding me?

"What about the privilege of common identity - the pseudo spiritual magical womyn stuff we see all over Tumblr?" - Woman is not an identity, it's a sex category. You can identify or not identify with it as you please; it doesn't change your biology. Off topic, but I hate the term "womyn" (sorry). This is a pure projection; it's literally TRAs seeing women as this pseudo-spiritual magical thing, a mindset, a religion, a belief, a lifestyle.

"A common saying in fascism is that the enemy is too strong, but also too weak. The enemy will destroy us, but the enemy is so incompetent that we will easily crush them." - I can see what you mean by this and how it correlates to some, but I don't believe it applies as some general thing all radfems believe. Maybe the blackpills, but that's a whole other can of worms.

And on the last image, I don't give a shit about the military. Again, I'm not a nationalist. I'm not an authoritarian. If I could snap my fingers and make us all drink tea together and sing songs, I would, because I hate war. I think the military is scummy. If they wanna join the military, whatever, not my business. That's the gov's responsibility, since you're basically owned once you sign up.

You have to be an entirely different kind of hateful to genuinely just hate trans women trying to live their lives. Every human soul on this earth is beautiful and you treating others as subhuman is genuinely horrible of you. I hope you find kindness in your heart.

Try addressing my actual views next time, because you're fighting ghosts.

[murdereddaydreams]

My Mate

Warnings: Omegaverse, breeding kink, slight blood, marking, smut, insecurities, knotting, pregnancy, if miss any let me know!

Content: Alpha!Kita Shinsuke x Omega!Fem!Reader

A/N: This is my addition to the In Heat by @daichidaichidaichi! Thank you to @miyarinrin and @vanille--kiss for betaing this for me, they know how long it really took me to finally come up with a plot for this and I'm personally very happy with this. Also... this totally became my longest fic ever.

Word Count: 2,785

Fortunate. That's what you would call yourself. You consider yourself lucky to have found your mate, something not everyone is lucky enough to experience but you did. Kita Shinsuke was your Alpha, ever loving and loyal. Down to the way he worked hard to provide for you and your future family to the way he would lose his calm demeanor the moment he felt another Alpha even dared to take you away. Yet, as you stood on the porch and looked out at his figure that grew closer, you couldn't help but reach up and place your hand on your scent gland. He hadn't claimed you, hadn't marked you as his. Did he not feel as happy to be with you as you did with him? Surely your face and the way that your scent began to take on more citrusy notes were giving him an indication of how you were feeling due to the concerned look on his face once he got near.

"Y/N… what's wrong? What's with that expression?" When you didn't answer and instead shifted your gaze from him, he took a few steps towards you. His body inches from yours, his scent suddenly stronger and enveloping you more than usual. He was doing what he always did when he wanted you to speak, shifting his scent to a much more woodsy aroma. It made you feel small, weak almost but not enough to be afraid of him. It was simply enough to make you want to listen to what he had to say and when he spoke, his voice held the same authority. "Omega… What's wrong? Tell me."

"Just… Why haven't you claimed me? We've been together for over a year now and talk about having a litter of our own so… why not?"

At your words, he felt himself sigh before finally reaching you. A hand came and cupped your cheek, tilting your head up so you could look up at him. Once your eyes locked with his amber ones, he gave you a soft smile.

"I want to claim you, Omega. I just never knew how to ask. Now…" He suddenly hoisted you up, your legs instinctively coming to wrap around his waist and your arms around his neck. He began to walk inside, shoes discarded at the door before he proceeded further. "Let me do what we both want… let me show the world you're my mate."

His words sent a shiver down your spine, his tone still nothing shy of loving but taking on that authority you loved. That tone that let you know that you were now at his mercy and even as you kept a calm expression to try and match his, you began to grow antsy in his arms. Each step he took towards the bedroom only served to make you more and more hyper aware of the determination that had dripped from his words. Your Alpha was going to claim you, mark you as his and only his while he made sure to pump you full of his cum in hopes to produce a litter.

Your thoughts were cut off when you felt your body be gently placed back onto the mattress. Had you been that distracted that you didn't even notice when you passed the threshold to the bedroom? You didn't even care, you wanted to be able to enjoy the man that now hovered above you as he looked at you with so much love and adoration but there was something else in his eyes. Something that made you silently whimper as you gave him a small nod. He always told you to give your approval, refusing to move further without it. He had to protect you and wanted to respect you the best way he could, wanting to not let himself be like the other Alphas that left you scared. The moment his eyes caught that small movement, his lips instantly came down to crash onto yours. It was the perfect kiss, his lips moving in such a way that proved how much he needed you and how much he loved you. The black tips of his bangs gently caressing your skin as he kissed you and the soft groan that left him when your hands tangled in his hair were already doing wonders to you.

Kita had one hand holding him up while the other now traveled down the side of your body, gently feeling the dips and curves until he reached your hip. Once there, his large palm took hold of the soft flesh and began to gently knead it. The way that spread your legs for him out of response caused him to smirk against your lips. Always a good Omega, so obedient to your Alpha without him having to ever say a word. Reluctantly, he pulled away from the kiss and pressed his forehead against yours.

"Such a good Omega for me…"

He situated himself between your legs, his lips moving to pepper your face in butterfly kisses. The very same kisses that were so light against your skin that they raised goosebumps instantly. Kita traveled to your jawline, small nips at your skin coming right before a gentle kiss. You almost cursed at the fact you wore nothing but a linen sundress and lace panties but knew he was more than pleased by that fact as his hand moved to the hem of the dress. You clung to his shoulders, already anticipating the feel of fingers dancing along your slick covered folds. Your scents mixed perfectly in the air, both fighting to overpower the other before finally coming together in harmony. A soft chuckle pulled you out of your trance, his rough fingers finally coming to the delicate skin of your inner thigh before moving to run along your slit.

"A-Alpha… please…"

You were sure your words fell on deaf ears, his touch still teasingly slow and careful when all you wanted was more. You wanted to feel his fingers deep inside your heat, jutting in and out as he prepared you to take his length until his knot plugged you full. But if you were being honest with yourself… you didn't want it, at this point you needed it. His presence, his scent, everything about him made you crave him to no end. He was your mate, he was your one and only. By the soft growl he emitted, you were sure he was feeling the same way. He needed you just as badly as you needed him. His neediness was plainly obvious the moment he easily tore the fabric of your panties right along the seam, his hand eagerly coming to appreciate your wetness. The same slick that he knew was for him, for him to enjoy, for him to savor as it coated his cock when he finally allowed himself the pleasure of being buried deep within you.

"Wait, Omega. You know I need to prepare you. I can't risk hurting you."

He kissed you as you whined at his response, wanting to protest but soon stopped when you felt his thumb press against your clit. A gasp escaped you, causing you to pull away from his lips and just in time as a long digit began to prod at your entrance. He pulled back enough to be able to view your face, watching as your lips parted slightly as he slowly slid his finger into you. Was that little bit enough to please you? Maybe not but it was enough to have your back arching up and trying to move closer to him than you already were. He leaned down and nuzzled his face against the crook of your neck, his lips placing soft kisses to the skin as he pumped the long digit.

“Alpha… more… please…”

Who was he to deny his Omega when she asked so nicely? Without no hesitation, he added another finger and groaned softly to himself as it began to get harder to control himself. He needed you, he needed to fill you and claim you as his once and for all. You were his and only his, he wanted a future with you and this was merely the first step. He couldn't wait to see you swollen with his seed, bearing life to the pups that would be a mixture of you both. The mere thought of you being such a good Omega for him and giving him a family of his own made his cock twitch. He wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to wait, that was until he heard your voice break him out of his trance.

"Please Shinsuke, please just put your cock in me already. Can't wait, I need your knot." Your words were full of desperation, your hips having a mind of their own and bucking up to try and meet his fingers in an attempt to get even more friction. You needed him inside of you, needed to feel his thick cock stretching you oh so nicely before he would stuff his knot and lock you both together. Your eyes finally met his after so long, the action causing you to suck in a breath from the sheer intensity in his eyes. He was determined right now and you were sure you would be the one he took it out on.

He didn't say a word, simply pulled himself away from you completely. The sudden loss of his fingers in your tight hole caused you to clench around nothing as your hands reached out for him to bring his warmth back. The low growl he gave you as he began to undress himself let you know what he was planning. Feeling a mixture of giddy and nervous, you quickly follow his lead and begin to strip. Your dress was pulled over your head, the torn panties coming off soon after. Before being able to turn to him, you felt yourself be pushed face down into the mattress. Your hips were lifted high in the air, legs spread enough so Kita could nestle his body in between them.

"Are you ready, Omega?" You were far too excited to trust your own voice, only able to utter a simple whine to let him know you were more than ready. A quiet hum left his lips before his hands would come down to caress your hips. His hot hands only added to the burning you felt on your skin from your sheer need that you swore he left a blazing trail as one hand traveled across the plump flesh of your ass. Once he finally reached your lower lips, he spread your folds as you felt him gently begin to run his length across your heat. Desperately, you bucked back against him to try and encourage him to hurry up. This led to him giving you a quick swat to the ass in warning, you knew he hated when you would try to rush him. Kita was a fan of being able to enjoy the feel of you, savor just how much slick you produced for him and only him.

You couldn't help but whimper when you felt him finally begin to push the head of his cock into you, taking his time to let you feel every inch of him enter you. It was almost as if he just kept giving more and more until you finally felt him bottom out. He stilled for a bit before allowing himself to pull back just enough to have the tip be the only part still within you. Before you knew it, his hips began to move forward. You could feel every little drag within you, moans spilling at the pace he finally set. It may not have been fast but Kita made sure to include plenty of power with his stroke forward. Slow and steady wins the race and this was no different. This was you two being able to enjoy each other, being able to become one, to show your love and devotion. This wasn't something he nor you wanted to rush through if your heat or his rut weren't clouding your judgments.

Truly, you didn't know just how long he had been keeping up his pace, just knew that while his hips never stopped, his hands roamed your entire body. They had come to your breasts, keeping them still in his hands as his thumb and index finger rolled your perky nipples between them. His lips did whatever they could to any skin they were able to reach, leaving love bites in their wake before moving on to a new area. All you knew was that the knot in your lower belly was beginning to tighten and tighten as his hips also began picking up speed. You knew your Alpha, you knew this was his silent way of telling you he was getting close like you. The way he could feel his approaching high led to his hand traveling between your legs to find your little bundle of nerves. Expertly, his fingers began to rub tight circles on the little bud.

"Ah Alpha! So close, so close!" You're unsure how you managed to get your words out but you did. You could feel his knot as it began to press against your entrance, trying to be gentle as always before he would grow the slightest bit impatient and insert the thick muscle into your velvet walls. The sweet burn of the stretch was all you needed to finally be pushed over the edge, your body threatening to fall against the mattress were it not for him holding you against his body. When did he even lean down and press his firm chest against your back? You didn't care, you were just focused on the warmth that began to wash over you from the inside. The feeling of you clenching around his length as well as his knot in an attempt to milk him dry is what did it for him and made him finally release his seed within you.

You had almost forgotten his promise of claiming you until he finally grazed his teeth against your scent gland. Before you knew it, his sharp canines dug into your flesh with a force strong enough to break the skin. The surprise and power of the action caused you to yelp out, hands gripping onto the sheets with a deadly grip. For every pump of cum into your womb, Kita would bite down a bit harder. He had to make sure his claim on you was evident, not wanting anyone to even consider taking you away from him. You weren't sure how long it had been before he finally released his teeth from your skin but you were secretly thankful. You were thankful for the little kisses and licks he gave to your skin to try and heal the new wound before gently flopping to the side with you in his arms.

"My Omega, my mate, my love…" Kita's words were soft, his lips against your ear as his breath lightly fanned over it. His arms pulled you in closer, one hand coming down to rest against your stomach as he nuzzled against your upper back. "The future mother of our pups…"

"Shinsuke, come on! I don't want dinner to get cold!" You used one hand to cup your mouth as the other rested on the swell of your lower back as you stood outside of your little home. Kita was coming in from another long day in the fields, his soft smile turning into a grin once he heard your voice and saw your figure clearly. As he finally reached you, his first reaction was to place a soft kiss on your lips. The second? It was to kneel down to place a soft kiss to your swollen belly.

"I'm sorry I'm a little late today, there was a lot to get done. I want to try to do as much as I can before our pup arrives." Giving your belly one last kiss, he stands up and wraps his arms around you in a loving hug. "I can't leave my Omega to do all the work when they're born, I have to help you."

"Oh shush, we still have some time before they come. Now come Alpha, I want to make sure you're well taken care of. You do so much for us already, our pup is lucky to have you." And with that, you both finally made your way inside the home to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet you still had before you would hear the pitter patter of your pups running around.

[zyrusdj]

AMAZING THAILAND

People enjoy going on vacations. Traveling is something that everyone wishes to do from a young age, and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to do it at such a young age. I've been traveling since I was eight years old, and I've already visited six countries, all of them are in Southeast Asia. I aspire to travel to the western side of the world one day. I'm also grateful to my parents for allowing me to live my life to the fullest and for providing me the opportunities to do so. As I previously stated, my family and I have already visited six countries: Hong Kong, Singapore, Japan, Thailand, Korea, and Taiwan. And for all of those stated, my finest travel experience thus far has been in Thailand. Well, all of the nations we've visited have been pleasant, but for me, Thailand stands out as the best. We traveled to Thailand way back in the year 2017.

Many people's favorite tourist destination is Thailand. Beautiful beaches, seas, glamorous retail complexes, vibrant markets, and a rich culture may all be found there. Thailand is a vibrant and colorful country that is a fantastic place to visit. There are many beautiful towns, shorelines, and islands, as well as hospitality that people extend that is above their wildest dreams, making this city a popular destination for tourists like us. Bangkok, Koh Samui, Chiang Mai, Hua Hin, Phuket, and Pattaya are just a few of the well-known Thailand destinations.

We normally go for a week, so we get to enjoy our time in those countries to the fullest. However, even with that lengthy day, we didn't get to see the other well-known cities in Thailand; we just went to Bangkok, Phuket, and Pattaya

So, once we arrived in Thailand, we hired a cab to take us straight to Bangkok, which is located on the banks of the Chao Phraya River and serves as Thailand's capital. That is where our hotel location is located. We arrived around 7 p.m. and had no idea that the place we were staying or the street where our hotel was located would be so lively in the evening, and thank you for that; a lively street at night helps us to remove our jetlag, and as a result, our first day or first hours in Thailand were filled with the joy and fun that Thailand has to offer.

My mother and older sister were in charge of the sites we had to see during our 7-day trip in Thailand; they had this itinerary thingy with the most interesting and enjoyable things to see and do in Thailand written on it. We had no time to waste after waking up, so we got up and got ready as quickly as possible so that we could see all of the places we needed to visit on our days in Thailand.

Since we were in Thailand's capital, we were able to get around simply and quickly to some of the sites we needed to see by riding this unusual vehicle known as a Tuk-tuk. Tuk-tuks are three-wheeled open vehicles popular in Thai cities. Tuk-tuks are frequently the same price as or more expensive than metered taxis, but they provide a fun and authentic travel experience and are a terrific method to travel small distances and experience their culture because tuk-tuks are only available in Thailand.

On the banks of the majestic Chao Phraya River are some of Bangkok's most notable attractions. Wat Pho (Temple of the Reclining Buddha), the Grand Palace, Wat Phra Kaew (Temple of the Emerald Buddha), and Wat Arun are the four must-see monuments that are easily accessible from the river. To get to all of these temples, you must take a boat ride that costs 150 baht and is known as the Chao Phraya boat trip. This journey will take you to all of the temples, and all of the temples have an admission price, which is very cheap. Our visit there was so much fun; we got to see several large gold-colored Buddhas, and I was so amazed by the way the buildings were constructed that I felt like I was transported back in time. It was an absolute must-see.

What I really like about Thailand is how cheap it is, but even though it is cheap, they will serve you a quality product or dish. For example, we frequently eat outside in Thailand, and we prefer to eat in the streets of Thailand when the night falls (they call it night market), and even though it is street food, the food is immaculate. like see For example their street fried rice, for 40bhat they will serve you fried rice with large shrimp toppings and mix with meat and veggies and I think its good for 2 persons already. Thailand is a paradise for someone like me who enjoys eating.

We also go to a different amusement park in Thailand and this is why I love Thailand the most over the other 5 countries we’ve been to, their amusement parks have a joint water park. what I loved the most is The Bangkok Siam Park, where we went. According to my mother's itinerary, Siam Amazing Park, Thailand, formerly known as Suansiam, was formerly a water park featuring Bangkok's first man-made beach. Other amusement attractions were then added, transforming it into a water and amusement park that delights and entertains everyone. With almost 30 rides, this is Southeast Asia's best theme park. And throughout our time there, I can't express how pleased I am, from the excitement of the ride to the fun of playing and sliding down the water slide, Bangkok is truly the country to which I would like to return someday.

Finally, as our tour came to a close, we visited the Thappraya Safari Elephant Trekking Ride. We had the opportunity to get up close and personal with Thailand's national animal, the elephant. We learn new things about elephants, such as how they live, what they eat, and how they interact with Thai people. We also enjoyed trekking with the elephants in a beautiful natural setting with a beautiful sea view, and as we rode them, I got to touch the elephant skin. At first, I was disgusted because I thought they might smell bad and their skin was wrinkly, but after touching them, I was completely amazed by the elephants, because I had no idea they smelled so good. The elephant aroma features a hint of oatmeal with a blend of bananas, possibly because bananas are the elephant’s favorite food, according to Thais.

And that brings me to the end of my AMAZING INSTA TRAVEL BLOG IN THAILAND. I have a lot more to say, but it would take me days to do so hahaha. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope that while reading it, I was able to connect with you and allow you to share in my most memorable travel experience because you know when we read, we tend to imagine things, how things would work, how things would feel and look, so I hope I was able to provide you with those experiences. Thank you for reading my AMAZING INSTA TRAVEL BLOG IN THAILAND!!!!!!!!

[thejustmaiden]

Fiction and Real Life Go Hand In Hand

This blog goes out to all those pro-Sessrin fans out there who refuse to acknowledge the very real effects fiction can have on our world and vice versa. I highly encourage other Inuyasha fans who defend/enable these shippers to read this, as well. I assure you, by no means are my intentions here to stir up trouble. Honestly, I just want some good healthy discourse for once if that’s not too much to ask. If you do decide to engage, please be mindful of that and treat others with respect and I will do the same in return. All in all, the goal of this blog is to exercise my right to speak out and be critical about content I believe to have very potentially detrimental repercussions. I ask that you not attack me or insult me simply for stating an opinion. Thank you! 

It’s like the title says, meaning fiction does matter. Where do you think we get ideas for all the stories we tell? Where do we draw inspiration from in the first place?

Real life, that's where! And yes, always with a touch of imagination! Long story short: fiction matters because real life does.

Allow me to elaborate.

Shippers of the Sesshomaru x Rin (Sessrin) pairing say it's not fair of us to throw around serious accusations or use certain deragatory terms that suggest such awful acts like child grooming or pedophilia because of the harmful implications. One of their reasonings being that some people IRL have actually lived through these traumas, so we shouldn't dare to assume they're comparable since one is just fiction and the other is not. But this isn’t about which is worse than the other, because they’re both super problematic. All we’re literally doing is making a link between grooming in real life and grooming in fiction. They mirror each other. Same issue; different mediums. We’re not undermining any one’s past experiences with grooming or the like, nor are we prioritizing fiction to diminish real life abuse. They’re both awful in numerous ways and that’s all we’re trying to say. In fact, if anything we’re attempting to demonstrate just how crucial this correlation is between them. In order to protect past victims and prevent future ones, we must remain vigiliant of the content we consume, and yes, sometimes that means we have to challenge it too. Just because it’s widely-viewed does not make it widely-accepted or well-received. It is paramount that we educate ourselves on how to be more critical of some of the harmful tropes and images that are still way too prevalent in mainstream media. Sexualizing young and pre-pubescent girls is way more normalized than some of us even realize. It’s sad but true that Sessrin is just one of many examples. I know it feels like society has failed us in a lot of ways, but it’s never too late to re-evaluate and re-learn better and more improved ways of viewing and processing information presented to us.

Our mission: Let’s not show our kids that grooming or any other form of abuse are acceptable if they may ever come to experience or encounter it themselves. Be it the real world or on screen. Deal? 

There have been a number of occasions where real life victims do speak up against the Sessrin ship and express how extremely uncomfortable it makes them feel by what it represents. The problem is that it’s becoming more evident now that many of their fans will dismiss anything purely on the basis that we pose a threat to their ship and nothing more. What it comes down to is they have no real leg to stand on and cannot possibly top any of what we have to say so instead they simply disregard it. Our inconvenient truths don't fit into their ideal *cough* OOC *cough* narrative so they just choose to be willfully ignorant. It conflicts with their fantasy, so rather than present a sound argument of their own, they flat-out reject it and offer no plausible back-up behind their reasoning besides "I don't interpret it that way." GUYS, CHILD GROOMING IS NOT UP FOR INTERPRETATION.

Just because you so desperately want your ship to come true does not mean you can up and decide to redefine a word so that it caters to your stance. Remind yourself that these are complex AND objective terms that we have no right to fiddle with to serve our own selfish purposes. This is why we can conclude that there's no debate about Sesshomaru's actions towards Rin embodying child grooming.

I apologize if any of my words are triggering by the way, so please feel free to take a break and return later if that’s more suitable for you. it's just really important that everyone in this fandom comprehends the extent in which Sessrin going canon is catastrophic. And no, I'm not exaggerating; I'm simply speaking the truth. Shippers justifying these horrible acts- yes, even in fiction- is usually due to the stubborn refusal to hear us out. No offense to anyone (just stating facts), but more times than not antis like myself feel as if we’re talking to a brick wall when we interact with Sessrin peeps. They go in circles and never expand on their perspectives. 

Just a head’s up: THIS GETS LONG. Stick with me. :p

Just look at their take on the Inukag vs. Sessrin relationships for example. This isn't a question of age gaps, this is a question of physical/emotional compatibility. Inukag are the same age mentally wise regardless of one being demon and the other not, whereas Sessrin is not and never will be, and yes, even once she's an adult. The thing is we have debunked this time and time again, because they’re not the same and therefore not comparable, but for some reason these fans won’t drop it. Nothing has changed in their argument, yet they’re persistent in bringing it up. I choose to not go into more detail, since like I said, you can find it around everywhere. I just wanted to touch upon it briefly to prove a point. Maybe it will come up again later in my blog though! 

Where was I earlier? Right, child grooming! Haven't you guys realized that what you’re doing is precisely what child groomers do to make excuses or deny any grooming took place at all? (FYI: I’m not accusing you of being child groomers yourselves.) “They reciprocated so the feelings are mutual" is a typical groomer response, but of course it varies. More often than not, victims of grooming aren't even aware they've been groomed until much later. That's how manipulative groomers are that they can legitmately convince you that maybe you're wrong in questioning their motives. Perhaps in the victim’s mind that because one huge indicator of grooming never actually took place it technically cannot constitute as grooming. They start to doubt themselves even though their intuition is telling them something’s off. They should just ignore it then since it can’t possibly be grooming if that one particular thing never happened, right? Wrong, grooming isn’t strictly this or strictly that. It's much more complicated and multi-faceted. This is why the “but Sesshomaru left Rin in the village” point upsets me greatly. HE WAS STILL INVOLVED IN HER LIFE, Y’ALL.  

On top of that, are you aware that this is the exact same kind of predatory mindset pedophiles use to describe their infatuation with children? They'll say things like, "I don't see them as an adult and a child. I see them as two people with a soul connection." Okay no joke, I wish I was lying, but that is literally a point one pro-sessrin fan on here recently used to defend this ship. It both astounds me and terrifies me that they don't see the glaring similarities they share in common with actual pedos.

Alright, I want to quickly return to what I was saying earlier about fiction's impact on real life. (Sorry, I’m a bit of a scatterbrain!)

The characters and their worlds in our stories that we dream up and bring to life are nothing short of awe-inspiring and magnificent if we so choose them to be. If it wasn't for our imaginations, stories like Inuyasha would have never come to exist. Fiction provides us an amazing outlet where we are given the opportunity to express ourselves and explore its infinite creative possibilities.

But strip away all the demons and magical components of this show we all love so dearly and what are we left with?

At the very core, Inuyasha is a story that's very reminiscent of the human experience: love, camaraderie, a sense of purpose, and much more!

So perhaps we got a full-fledged dog demon like Sesshomaru, but does that necessarily mean we can't relate to him or understand him simply because dog demons don't exist in the real world? Well, I hope that's not how you view it or else you're missing the whole point of why humans create stories to begin with. We create them to make better sense of and thus connect with the world we live in. And when you really think about it, our stories are just a celebration of life- both our struggles and our triumphs. Now I'm no philosophy professor, but I'm pretty sure they'd say I hit that nail right smack on the head. ;)

All shitty jokes aside, the whole reason I’m mentioning this specific example in the first place is because this recently came up with another Sessrin supporter. That supporter tried to defend the ship by stating that we aren't allowed to use Sesshomaru as an example to judge by since his kind don't exist in the real world.

Now if it isn't evident already, this "it's just fiction" argument is a popular go-to stance many Sessrin fans will resort to once they've run out of ideas and are metaphorically backed into a corner. The funny/sad thing is that they seem to sincerely believe this is strong enough evidence to defend their ship with, but per usual, they fail to see how hypocritical that would be. I’ll clarify soon down below. 

Seriously, since when did we decide that fantasy- or any story genre for that matter- stopped reflecting the real world we live in? I mean, we humans are the ones writing these stories. Our human influence is bound to make an impact in some capacity. In fact, we want it to!

Obviously none of us have ever met a dog demon like Sesshomaru, because how could we? Let me tell ya, this is gaslighting at its finest! This is a fictional story with fantasy elements, so of course there will be beings and creatures in their world that don't exist in our own. Does that somehow translate to the fact that nothing from the story of Inuyasha can be applied to our own personal stories or that there aren't meaningful messages to be taught and learned?

So on the flipside, if they're not screaming at us "it's just fiction" for the hundred billionth time, then they are, believe it or not, doing the reverse and comparing it to real world history. One instance of this is how they tell us we're making a big deal about something that isn't real, but go right ahead and use the history of feudal Japan to support Sesshomaru's decision to court (aka GROOM) a young girl because that's how it was done back then. And so, your point being?? It wasn't right then just because it was legal, and it's most certainly not right now. This is how all of their arguments go by the way, where you'll constantly witness a cherry-picking approach. It's agonizing to endure contradiction after contradiction in their arguments filled with nothing but holes in their logic.

I'd just like to add that if we're overreacting to this fictional ship like they love to say we are then technically so are they. They tell us things like "grow up" or "nobody is telling you to keep watching," yet fail to realize they're reacting just as fervently as we are but just on the opposing side of the same damn argument. I find it interesting how they're as invested in this show but pretend they aren't then STILL have the audacity to say it's only us who care this much!? So thank you Sessrin shippers for further proving our point that fiction is more than capable of affecting reality and the people- YES, US- who reside in it.

It's insane that people act like pedophiles and other creeps don't enjoy entertainment too like the rest of us. Believe it or not, they look just like you and me most of the time. Yes, that means they can easily pass as a “regular guy” if they so wished to. My question to you is how do you think pedophiles will take it when they discover others- underage fans more specifically- who dig the same kinda media they get off to? Maybe not in the exact same way, mind you, but there's a thin line between them when you really think about it. I mean, what other explanation is there for why literal pedos on the internet have been known to sneak into pro-sessrin group chats here on Tumblr before? (Thankfully, they were later kicked.) I know that for a fact! It's almost as if the universe is trying to tell them something they refuse to listen to elsewhere. Hhmmm I wonder what that may be. 

I imagine it’s possibly one of the hardest things to admit out loud and to themselves, but I can almost guarantee you that most of these Sessrin shippers who are victims of CSA and who still see no issue with Sessrin must be living with some sort of unresolved trauma caused by the very abuse they claimed to have undergone. It's been proven that victims who do not seek or properly receive the help and treatment they need in order to address and live with a traumatic experience such as this are more likely to perpetuate that very same abuse themselves in some way, shape or form. What if in this case fiction is enough for them, but who's to say it won’t eventually manifest itself in other more dire and far-reaching ways? It's not like we haven't seen this vicious cycle before, and I can promise you that Sessrin won't be the last. LET'S STOP NORMALIZING & GLORIFYING THE ROMANTIZATION & SEXUALIZATION OF CHILDREN. Fictional example: Usagi Drop. Need I say more? Real world example: Woody Allen. Again, need I say more?

Bottom line is that Sessrin shippers don't want us to think too critically about this ship of theirs, because if we dig too deep then they're forced to face the very troubling implications this pairing really stands for. Of course they'll never admit to them, because instead they rather double down and grasp at the same old straws as long as it means their precious ship is protected at all costs. Screw everyone else if that's what it takes, because they'll threaten to burn down legit buildings in real life if that ensures Sessrin goes canon! (True story, this happened on Twitter.) They’ll taunt and bully anyone who disagrees. Even if all you literally say is that you don’t like the ship, they’ll gang up on you. Tell them about your past experience with being groomed? They’ll laugh in your face. I wish I was kidding, but I assure you I am not.  And they say we're ridiculous and taking this way too seriously? Yeah...

The typical behavior of a Sessrin shipper demonstrates an overly aggressive front since they're usually on defense mode anyway. They only want to ship their sick ship in peace in other words. But just because neo-nazis have a right to spew their bigoted ideology, doesn't mean we don't got the right to punch them! Freedom of speech doesn't equate to freedom from consequences. And Sessrin shippers wonder why they got so many haters. Just sayin'.

Their presence on other platforms like Twitter and Reddit are some examples of how delusional and unstable some Sessrin fans are capable of becoming. Even recently, an anon here on Tumblr sent Richard Ian Cox (English VA for Inuyasha) a totally uncalled for ask telling him that "sessrin is love and there's nothing he can do about it." (That's not verbatim, but if you're interested I'll link you to it.) It appears they discovered that he didn't like Sessrin based on how he had been replying to asks, and just for that reason alone they thought they had the right to harass him. For simply stating his opinion, y'all. They didn't even have the decency to show their face either. Talk about immature and cowardly! 

Just yesterday (or was it the day before?) a fanatic Sessrin user on Tumblr- who’s also been known for hateful remarks on Twitter but those tweets have of course been deleted since then- went out of their way to not only lurk in a group chat they don’t belong to on here but to then proceed to harass a few of us in there. They had the guts to take screenshots from that group chat, tag us in posts on their page regarding what they read in there, and without our knowledge or permission went ahead and actually blogged them?? I mean, who calls out people behind their backs while they're just minding their own business?? It worries me how unhinged and out of touch with reality some Sessriners are. Not all of them, but a whole lot of them. 

It seems all they are doing is looking for trouble, as they just can't stand how much we hate this ship. So it's more than okay if they love on their ship but it's not okay if we don't and we should just keep our mouths shut. But since when do Sessrin fans have authority over our opinions? Even if they were officially canon, nothing is ever gonna change our opinion. Now when they actually do decide to participate in discourse with antis, you'll see them fishing for excuses to bow out. How they normally go about this is by fabricating a way to blame us antis for their exiting a conversation as if we're being the irrational ones here.

There’s no denying that some antis can also be overly blunt or aggressive (nobody is saying we’re perfect here), but speaking for myself, I know I would never make such nasty comments about other fans and their personal lives. And honestly? It would make me feel like shit talking bad about someone I don't actually know. Nah, I won't stoop to that level or give haters that satisfaction. I may not attack them as people, but that doesn't mean I can't attack some of their messed up ideas that threaten to distort how we should or shouldn’t perceive certain dangerous situations and events. Seeing as how for me this is more than just a matter of opinion- it's a moral responsibility and even an obligation.

I know it's difficult to remain civil when things get heated and people start taking things personally- yet more proof that fiction impacts our lives- but that's the only way any of us will ever have constructive discussions about serious topics like this. Unfortunately, Sessrin shippers, from what I can tell, are incapable of engaging in real discourse for the most part. They may be vocal but that doesn't mean they can pack a punch. I’d really love to be proven wrong someday.

Okay, moving on! If they're not involved in some big-time gaslighting then they're using their infamous strawman argument approach.

Sessrin fans’ sole purpose isn't really to defend their ship, per se, but rather to deflect and antagonize. They like to mislead in order to shift the focus/blame onto their opponent or something else that's not related so that they can stray from the main point. 

Take the drama CD for example. It's officially NOT considered canon, right? But that hasn't stopped many fans from referencing it anyway so let’s too consider it for a moment. The point is that they use its "existence" whenever convenient then deny it or downplay it whenever it’s not. So on one hand, it's plain as day that they celebrate it as proof of a romantic future for Sessrin. But then later once we point out to them that Sesshomaru is essentially confessing to Rin that he will wait for her until she's of age, they'll brush it off and quickly add that they didn't interpret the scene that way and leave it at that. I mean how else would you interpret it? And if it's not a proposal of sorts then why exactly are you bouncing off the walls about it to begin with?? If that's all it means is nothing then why are we even talking about this?! You see what I mean here??! And somehow we're the crazy ones? 

Let me to be frank with you. If you haven’t listened to it already, this proposal he offered her sounded like a declaration of love in a multitude of ways, which is wildly inappropriate since Rin was only 12 at the time. Signifying that Sesshomaru was/is indeed grooming her. Well, that is if you choose to recognize the drama CD. Nevertheless, whether you do or not, I personally hate that this non-canon satire is even associated with the Inuyasha name to begin with. Ugh. 

Intentional or not, Sesshomaru made a deliberate decision in that moment to tell a little girl- and not just any little girl mind you but a girl he's taken in under his care for a good year- that he would wait for her if she so chooses once she's old enough. 

The issue is that it isn’t only age of consent we’re concerned about regarding this pairing. What Sessriners fail to see is that this grown male authority- her vassal, her guardian, her adoptive father, or whatever you wanna refer to him as- is basically making a move on this girl he had in his company for quite some time. There's no sugarcoating that. Us antis call it how it is, and I'm sure as fucking day other people who don't watch the show would most certainly agree that the Sesshomaru/Rin bond is filial. Set aside those rose-tinted glasses of yours, and going by everything we’ve been delivered in the manga and parts of the anime (and NOT the drama cd), there are literally no hints that indicate a blossoming romance between this adult male demon and this small human girl he’s taken under his wing. You can imagine them all you want if it pleases you, but that doesn’t mean they’re there. Adult!Rin is a figment of your imagination, nothing more. The idolization of this pairing is pretty disturbing seeing as all we have to go off of in canon is Child!Rin. There have only ever been sweet and innocent moments passed between the two, which is why I’m positive that an unbiased viewer or an outsider would state their dynamic resembled something akin to a father-daugther relationship. I would bet a shit ton of money on that, believe you me!

Rin's inhibitions are low because children are naturally naive and don't know any better. Remember, she adores and trust this man with all her heart, so why would she think any of this so-called grooming is not normal behavior. (I only say “so-called grooming” because I don’t think Sesshomaru bringing her gifts in the village has to be a romantic thing.) Or how would she ever be able to understand that she’s being taken advantage of if she has no previous experience with it? Maybe if she was present for that time Inuyasha and the gang scolded Miroku when they had learned that years previous he had supposedly proposed to this young girl in the village they were visiting, then Rin would. And he didn’t even assist in helping raise her but look at how they reacted! How is this any different than Sesshomaru hooking up with Rin later? It’s actually worse in Sessrin's case. Do you honestly believe that Inuyasha and the others would take kindly to this?

It's not uncommon and considered harmless for young children to have crushes on adults, after all, but the adults in these scenarios should never resort to using and abusing the position of power they held or continue to hold over this child for any reason whatsoever.

What I'm trying to get across here is that no matter how you spin it, Sessrin can NEVER be deemed a morally acceptable pairing. Like ship what you want, we're not saying you can't ship Sessrin. What we're saying is this:

STOP referring to their bond as "pure" and not expect backlash for your grossly inaccurate statements. Just admit it's toxic, because it's extremely harmful to many viewers- and not just victims- to pretend and suggest otherwise.

Please remind yourself of the very real canon fact that Rin traveled with Sesshomaru and they established a bond all while she was just a girl. Oh, and he saved her life too many times to count, not to mention brought her back from the dead TWICE. This is why I don't care much for your counter argument "that dynamics can change over time," because although that's true, like with everything in life there must be standards we adhere to. Exceptions to rules, if you will. Our own basic morals demand it.

For instance, it’s normal that some childhood friends begin to like each other as more than friends years down the road. Nothing wrong with that, because that's a natural and healthy occurrence. Now you cannot apply this to an adult and a child for obvious reasons, but what you also cannot do is apply this to an adult who met and knew another adult while they were still just a child. Why? Well, because it'd be like betraying and perverting that former child's view of you. They were never your equal because your established dynamic resembles that of one an adult posesses with a child even once they've grown up. Think about it this way: it's in the same bracket of family members or family friends who've watched you grow up and mature into an adult. Then later just because they're all grown up, does that mean that those children "are not off bounds" - that's quoting a Sessrin shipper by the way- to these certain family members and family friends? 

If you're still struggling to grasp this, I urge you to take a moment (or all the time you need!) to really put yourself in that child's shoes and self-reflect. Would you truly be alright with a family friend you haven't seen in years (but sorely missed because they used to occasionally babysit you) just someday coming back into your life and then very inappropriately flirting with you or even making sexual advances on you? (Sorry for the run-on!) Or even worse, can you picture this happening to one of your own children??! Seriously, ask yourself that and sit with that for a while and really take it all in. It’s not fun, I know, but if that’s what it takes to help you finally understand then please try and practice more ways to utilize your self-awareness in the future. It’s for everyone’s benefit, not only yours, I promise! You'll also find it makes it tremendously easier to empathize with others.

I got news for those fans who don’t view Sesshomaru as a father figure to Rin. The title we give him doesn’t hold as much weight as a lot of us are making it out to be. Let’s try to be neutral here and stick to the hard facts, shall we?

*Sesshomaru is an adult male authority whose protection Rin is under*

*It’s safe to assume that Rin has grown attached to him and maybe even looks up to him*

*They care about each other and the other's well-being*

*He has has played a crucial part in her supervision and care for a significant period of time (yes, even if it’s just passing a message along to Jaken)*

Not so random anecdote: In an Inuyasha episode I recently revisited, Sesshomaru had just rescued Rin from Kohaku who had been possessed by Naraku and was ordered to kill Rin. Anyway, at the end of their scene you can hear Jaken ask out loud, “what should we do for dinner, Lord Sesshomaru?” And that’s about the most domestic thing I’ve ever heard come out of his mouth. They’re such a family dammit and nothing will ever change that!! <3

This is precisely why I could never in a million years view those past students of mine in a romantic light. I don't care how many years have passed, it's just not possible for me. Just the idea of pursuing a romantic and/or sexual relationship absolutely repels me.

Speaking as a former teacher, you don't need to be a parental figure who's around all the time in order to have great love and affection for a child. I would've done absolutely anything in my power to protect them even though they weren't my own. Then again, I did consider them my children in a way even if wasn't in a familial sense. Does that make my love for them any less unique? No, it's just different but not inferior. When you stop to think about, it really doesn't take as long as you may think to establish rapport with a person, particularly children. Connecting with a child is almost instant (but of course some are more receptive than others), and once you do make that special connection one can only make with a child, a strong and overwhelming need to guide and protect them kicks in almost automatically. The unconditional love an adult feels for a child is powerful and constant, and nothing should ever change that. As much as some of you really want to believe otherwise, that feeling doesn’t just go away because they turned 18. In your eyes, they’ll always be that kid.

I get it, sometimes when we escape into these fictional worlds of ours, it's difficult not to project our own wishes and desires onto certain characters. I don't blame fans for picturing themselves with Sesshomaru- I know I did haha- but never once did I self-insert myself as Rin. I know she's one of the biggest catalysts for his character growth- if not THE biggest- but how and why does that need to turn romantic? There are other antis who I have spoken with on this. They informed me that they used to live vicariously through Rin and ship them together, as well. As they got older, they later learned how weird and twisted this ship actually was. That's what's supposed to happen, y'all, you're supposed to grow out of that fixation. 

Now take your mind out of the Inuyasha universe for a second and hypothetically (or not hypothetically if you have kids) answer me this: if and/or when you ever have a child, would you genuinely be comfortable with the idea of them dating and eventually marrying their father’s best friend who was also there to witness them grow up? Be honest please. 

I highly doubt you would want that- or at least I hope not. You see, that's another MAJOR point I've made a few times already and yet you Sessrin shippers continue to avoid the question. It's pretty obvious it hasn't been rhetorical either. Ignorance is bliss?

Finally, I’d like to address one more point. It seems there is a HUGE misconception and I'd like to clear it up real quick. That is Sessrin shippers misinterpret one of the issues we have with this ship. They chalk up our complaints of Sessrin being canon (which is a LIE, nothing has been confirmed yet) to us just being salty because that somehow means our ships aren't or won’t be. I assure you, readers, other antis and I will attest that this ain't about dumb shipping wars, this is so much bigger than that!!!

I noticed recently that some Sessrin fans have even begun calling us Karens lolol like if anybody is a Karen it's them! This ain't about some mere difference in taste, this is very likely to have LONG-LASTING NEGATIVE EFFECTS. Sessrin going canon is a very harmful message to send viewers and children/teens especially. So if anything, it’s these shippers who are being the entitled ones here thinking that the fact we don’t support their ship is the worst thing in the world. NO, THE REAL PROBLEM IS CHILD GROOMING. GET OVER YOURSELF.

Out of nowhere, some of them even started assuming all us antis were white, which in their books is also equivalent to Karens or even white supremacists somehow?? Those aren't one in the same, but it's easy to make it appear that way when the US is currently tackling major systems of oppression and racial injustice. Because to them, all antis must be from over here. (Yes, I'm American. But no, I'm not white.) How else can anyone explain not shipping Sessrin, right?! Somehow they have it in their heads that ALL of Japan and surrounding places are super approving of this ship, and that everyone else isn’t because of their upbringing and “Western way of thinking.”  

To give you an idea of what I mean, look back at what I talked about earlier with their incessant mention of Sessrin vs. Inukag. Because THIS is another popular example of how these shippers present their side and then ignore all the facts. Many fans have already proven how fucked up and inaccurate it is to label whole countries and cultures. It’s like they simply think mentioning it makes it count even though we’ve discredited their points over and over. Nah, you got to back it up with good reasons that support your side of the argument. That’s How To Have An Argument: 101. So at the end of the day, all they're actually achieving in doing is making dumb and entirely unrelated accusations based on nothing just to lead to deductions that are equally unfounded. Nothing at all is accomplished but more gaslighting and hurling of insults on their part = a complete waste of time for antis = an excuse for them to peace out early from the conversation & that’s what they wanted all along

We’ve reached the end (finally! sorry for all the rambling!), and I hope those of you who stayed till the end or read enough can take something positive out of this. As many Inuyasha fans are aware, there will be a livestream with the VAs for Sesshomaru and Rin coming out within the next few hours. We don’t have all the details yet, and afterwards we probably still won’t. I’m not just talking about Sessrin here but about the sequel in general. Whatever happens, please just remember to be kind to one another. If you don’t think you’re capable of doing that, then it’s best you vent and fume elsewhere. Easier said than done, I know, but just try. Throughout this blog, I admit there were moments where I got frustrated and took some jabs at Sessrin shippers. Please believe me when I say that I do not and would not ever wish any of you ill will. 

Inuyasha was such a huge part of my childhood, and I’m not gonna lie, I’m anxious as hell that Sunrise will ruin one of the best things I loved about this show. So pardon me if my reactions are too visceral for your liking. haha Also, like the movies and the drama cd, this sequel is not in fact canon. Therefore, for those of you who disagree or who still plan to enjoy this new series, respect the fact that some of us fans will definitely “cancel” it if we feel that’s what we have to do to come to terms with it and move on. Fans have that right, after all. Why should we get on board with something if it’s so uncharacteristic of and unrecognizable from the original source material? If all this is some sort of cash grab of Sunrise’s doing, then count me out. I truly hope that this sequel turn outs being a lot more promising than a lot of us are expecting. I’m begging you, Sunrise, I wanna believe you’re better than this. Please and thank you!   

By the way, if you’re interested, feel free to check out my two other blogs on this same subject. Click here and here. The last two screenshots do not come from something I’ve written myself. If you’d like to read more from where those came from, let me know and I’d be more than happy to send you the links. Okay, bye for now. Peace out and stay safe, everyone! 

[petro1986]

Spitballing here: answer machine, perfectly acceptable! As your phone was a landline, therefore immovable, and while you're away you get messages throughout the day to be addressed once you return... When the first brick size/weight "mobile" phones came up, it became the "I can get this yuppie to quickly answer my question"

As mobile phones got smaller/cheaper/popular (onto 2G digital frequencies) it became more important to have features to make your phone distinct from the competition (Nokia were like the kings of this, 3210 and 5210s, then an 1600 I think we're my Nokias until I got a fruit phone (once)) and for carriers now serving areas well enough that now they need to compete... So you get SMS text messaging, WAP internet, and of course; voicemail! Features that are nice to access via cellular systems...

Then the smartphone nation invaded!

Your phone was no longer your phone, it was a camera (one you'd actually use!) a MP3 player! Diary, and has the proper web now¹, this motivating new modes of service... Unshackled from a cellular provider for adding features to your phone, given how everyone wanted to be "The Next Facebook!"

...or depending on those in the know, "the next pdf!"

So now there are evolutions of MSN and Skype, broadening out, along with logging into your Facebook profile and having access to your emails, the communication avenues are getting to be really powerful, so powerful that companies start monopolising your attention... Wait, wasn't this about voicemail?

And here's my thesis to this post: we can do better than voicemail now, if you NEED to talk to someone, you phone them on your their mobile! If they don't pick up, you ring them again, or shoot off a message, either SMS, RSC, or across the various apps that Facebook do and don't own! The person will get back to you!

My guess is that you don't know (I'll enjoy watching this post age like milk behind a radiator) but if I'm right, it's a feature that has atrophied, as previous to this paradyne shift, answer machines were a good enough solution to the state of the art. But for the most part we simply wish to know if something time sensitive is happening. Phone calls for me in a subjective sense can function as alert barks, as interest in checking phone plummets if it's the same tone over and over².

So what can we draw from this? Should mobile providers dump voicemail? No! It's better to have it Vs expecting everyone to move over to a walled garden messaging service! But what would I suggest? As much as it pains me to say this, but: there is a possible place from speech recognition software to transcribe some/all to become a text message, as a possible option... Now if you think that's "let AI type out someone's text message" then you are very bad and I use my spray water bottle on you³

Voicemail is a remnant of a time past, and while I'm sure there are advocates, it's important to understand that if you do phone me and it goes to voicemail, just please, hang up! It'll take longer for me to answer your queries if you do leave a voicemail Vs not.

- if you've made it this deep into this ramble, thank you! I don't expect reblogs or comments, but if you do, I'd be very flattered!

- if you resonate with this post and switch it to a different medium (animation, dramatic reading, comic, stage play) I'd deeply appreciate you linking back to this original post⁴

- I wish you a lovely day, no matter how you find this post

_appendix under the break_

¹: note that certain manufacturers chose to neglect various popular web protocols that had been well established for years, thus driving people to only support what they deemed worthy, cutting out a huge amount of web 2.0 history that is harder to access now for those with only smart phones/similar devices.

²: I understand if someone messages like they did on MSN or AIM but, for me you have to get a reply from someone before you both can start quick fire message each other, but this is a Me problem and I don't expect anyone to change, just know your priority drops if your last message to me makes zero sense with 4 messages worth of context.

³: AI today is how people used Cyberspace in the late 80s and early 90s to talk about getting online, so throwing AI about without deep clarification is a huge red flag my dudes/dudettes/non-dudes

⁴: if you James Summerton this post, I will curse you to the knowledge that the entirety of what makes you a thinking person is a similar texture and odour of blue cheese, and is just about as mingin' to touch (talking about your thinking brain)

SPLINK!

I'm all about preserving tech, but one thing that doesn't need to exist in [current year] is: Voicemail

[struwwelzeter]

So I read your reply to Nyarisu's comment on Lionheart and I'm really intrigued by your comments about how people understand punk compared to what it was initially. Could I possibly ask you to expand on this? Pretty please?

Yes you could! This is a very (very?) personal point of view and I know a lot of people will disagree, but here goes nothing, I guess. If you disagree with me (and somebody will), that’s fine, but I will not engage with anything that’s not a constructively put argument. I’ve spend too much time thinking about this for a “I don’t like what you’re saying and that’s why you’re wrong” anon to change my mind. Just putting that out there - with love 💜.

The thing is, especially on tumblr but I think just in generally aswell, the idea of punk is presented as this ... Robin Hood kind of thing. Beat the system, stand up to bullies, live your own truth, all of that, but it always is presented as something that is supposed to come from a ... dare I say, nice place? Like those pictures of people in studded and sprayed leather jackets rescuing puppies. All of that, you know? And I don’t want to say that is wrong, because it isn’t, and I love the idea of that, it’s just not the entire truth.

Especially in the early to mid 70s, when arguably punk started, there was a lot of fatigue between an old and stuffy establishment and the lovey, dovey peace and love “let’s all be happy” movement of the hippie scene. I was at Force Attack in 2006, which is a punk festival (and possibly dirtiest place in the world) that got established in the early 90s and went on til 2008 (?), and even then some of the “death to hippies” sentiments ran pretty deep. And I know the counter argument to that will be a well meaning “well, that’s not real punk,” the problem is that I think it actually partly is. (Please keep the partly in mind for the rest of this argument.)

The problem with having the exact choice between “get a good job, built a nice house, think of what the neighbours will say, and don’t ask me about what I did in the war” and “we’re all a big part of one human family, and isn’t nature beautiful, lets all make peace, and btw we would have never done what our parents did” is that both models aren’t a sustainable life style for everyone. That’s why you get alot of people saying this is all fake bullshit, and they start being purposely offensive. This is why you get alot of Swastikas around the sex pistols, you get all these artists singing about suicide and incest and rape. It’s not that uncommon for some of those early acts to play with Nazi imagery, or claim that homosexuality is disgusting (despite the scene always being full of LGBTQ+ people), or idk, thinking it’s fun to piss on someone while they’re asleep. It’s alot of outcry, of saying life actually is this shitty and disgusting and I am gonna be that because in a way you will hate me either way. And it’s not always nice. Disdain and hate and petty selfishness are common human emotions and many of them are low and unhealthy, and honestly not nice or helpful or inclusive, but they are there, and I think alot of that early spirit was just about stopping to pretend that they don’t exist.

I think a reason for why we don’t think of the scene that way anymore is that many people very quickly outgrew that, and said “actually, we’re better than that, that’s not who we actually are. I sadly can’t find that interview right now, but Die Ärzte are actually a good exemple of that and they even admit it themselves, that there was a sense of “enough with the happy hippie bullshit, let’s disgust them” and then later going “uhmm - maybe that went a bit far.” I mean offensive or not, but ultimately a scene that is centered around artistic expression always ends with that question of creation, maybe like “if the world isn’t like what we want it to be, how do we make one we like?” - and then you end up with having to come up with answers that are more than just destruction. And then it turns into something else - something that I think is alot more like what tumblr seems to think punk is. And that’s a wonderful thing. Still - a side of punk, whatever that is, has always been what people like GG Allin (please read the wiki for context) have taken and pushed to the limits, and it just - isn’t nice. And here is where things get a bit tricky.

Because against that backdrop, things like John Lydon (Johnny Rotten) suddenly being a dirty old Trump supporter aren’t that surprising anymore. And then you get these 20 year olds “cancelling” the Sex Pistols, and I think there is just a bit of ... missing the point going on. I’ve read a comment on here recently, that basically said something like Richard should stop supporting the Sex Pistols (because he has that album in the back of the studio), and it’s just ... asking for a history to be erased that has rightfully been made obsolete but has still happened and was necessary at the time. You can take any of these early bands and pick their lyrics apart and find something that from our perspective now is disgusting, mean, exclusive, or outright racist. Songs about Fucking? Part of that record is a mysogynisy shitshow, something they were very aware of even at the time, and they still did it anyway because being disgusting was part of the point. The thing is though, the Sex Pistols were hugely influential, and alot of the positive things that grew out of that wouldn’t have been possible if kids like young Richard, or any of the bands you love that were influenced by them, wouldn’t have gotten that moment of “finally a place where I can put all of my petty hate”. It matters, and just because that moment is overcome, it doesn’t mean it should be forgotten, or stops existing in the people that lived through it.

I understand that the question of how much we should justify things with “it was the time” and how we deal with the result is an ever ongoing debate and their are many good arguments for why maybe we shouldn’t try to defend the wrongs of the past that way, and I want to point out that while I rarely agree on that in the first place (because I understand history as a natural learning curve where people aren’t perfect at the first try and it’s doing a disservice to humans just doing their best, but I digress and that’s a bit of another duscussion), I want to point out that I don’t want to defend anyone, rather I want to say “actually, being that horrible was often calculated, part of the point, and if you don’t like it, just leave it, fight it or debate it, but don’t pretend like it was a “missstep” or just a few black sheep of a scene that was never as nice or perfect as you want it to be.” You don’t get to erase half of a movement simply because you wish it wouldn’t exist the way it does - or well. I guess in this case mostly did - past tense.

The ugliness is part of the story to me, and it’s actually the bigger part of why I love this scene. I don’t need “punk” to define my politics, I need it to soothe my soul, and so did many, I think. The Sex Pistols breaking happened 20 years before my time, but I still feel connected to that world, and in particular the ugly parts of it. I often feel like I look at the world, and there are people that seem honestly shocked by the idea that maybe sometimes I find doing the right thing really hard, that I want petty, self serving revenge, that I don’t find it easy to not be selfish and unkind or sometimes want to hurt people because I am hurting myself and see an opportunity to do that. Obviously those aren’t nice things and I don’t want to be that way, but are you honestly telling me you don’t feel that? I find that hard to believe, and it leaves me with an ongoing question of if I am just worse than most people or if most people are just more fake. Both scenarios are equally shit. The ugly side of punk provides - not an answer to that - but maybe a partial solution, at least for me.

Another discussion we have all the time is about how what we consume or allow in artistic expression is influencing how we act as people in real life and how we want the world to be. Where do we draw the line? What is still ok? If I put me entertaining ideas about murder on a canvas, is that still good? what if it’s racism? What if it’s rape? We argue alot about how providing a safe space in art for those feelings is actually preventing us from acting on it in real life, how it’s an outlet of something we would never actually want or do, but then where is the limit to that? I am putting this intentionally controversial, but if we admit that most of us grow up with internalized racism and mysogyny, by that logic, why can’t I paint something that is blatantly hateful if I have those feelings? Maybe that is my way of fighting it, you don’t have to look at it? Not saying that’s what I am doing or would want to do, but what if? For some people Rammstein singing about not wanting to be Angels is crossing that line, for some of us that line is drawn alot later. Who is right? Isn’t that just personal sensitivity? Can you honestly rationalise that? Isn’t it just processing our different levels of petty hate in different ways? I don’t have the answers to any of that, it’s just questions I often have and that I think have to do with this, because alot of the nasty bits in punk will justify it exactly that way, as artistic expression. Alot of it isn’t as political as this scene is made out to be, it’s simply asking those things. I personally relate to that alot, as someone who arguably would draw the line of “we should stop doing this” in art very, very, very late - and certainly later than my own personal comfort zone.

I’m not sure if any of this makes any sense at all. I hope it does - and if it doesn’t it’s probably because I don’t know either, or because I don’t want to fully blow this up into an essay (sorry, too late?) or because I suck at making a point, or maybe because we simply disagree. All I know is that I sometimes see these posts of “what is punk and what isn’t” and it leaves me with this taste of “you’re describing a utopia and it’s cute and I want that too, but it’s not everything punk as I know it is, and it feels like you don’t want to see something that mattered too - even if it was brutal and disgusting.” And everytime I see it I feel alien, like something that mattered to me so much as a teenager and young adult gets taken away from me and made into something so sleek and pretty it becomes something unattainable to be that I simply don’t manage to live up to in the way I would like. I guess that is a petty, selfish way of looking at it too.

«It's a repressive society where you can't be horrible, I'm not horrible, they made me horrible, I'm just honest.»

- John Lydon

[chillyravenart]

Hi, I'm curious about your opinion on a seldom discussed asoiaf matter: Rhaegar Targaryen's relationship with his mother, Rhaella. It's bugging me since there's little to no mention of it in any of the books. Safe to assume that Viserys was close to her, her crown was his last joy according to Dany. Dany herself sadly doesn't count, she only has stories about their mom. But Rhaegar has plenty of years. He must have seen her misery as well. Surely he didn't just stand aside and did nothing right?

It's a seldom discussed matter for a reason, we simply don't have enough material on their relationship and only mere snippets on them entirely. I have opinions and views of my own, but none of them are fully backed up by canon- because the info just doesn’t exist :( 

Rhaegar was born to thirteen-year old Rhaella during the Tragedy at Summerhall- an event that was said to overshadow him throughout his life. As per royal etiquette, I can only assume that baby Rhaegar was brought up by wetnurses and tutored by maesters as a child, with limited access to his mother. This would have been exacerbated by the fact that within the first eleven years of Rhaegar’s life, Rhaella lost FIVE babies. Her role was to provide Aerys with heirs and spares, and for a very long time, it ended in grief. I’m sure Rhaegar would have known of his mother’s misery, but there’s literally nothing to illustrate that point. Royal children did not share the same maternal relationship as children today, and whilst I’m certain Rhaella loved her firstborn, I just don’t know if they were super close on account of her losses, as well as Aerys’ increasing madness. 

I’ve done some rambling below the cut just to try and explore this further. Hope it makes sense lol!

To start off with, Rhaella and Aerys’ marriage was never a happy one. Aerys was unfaithful, and Rhaella clearly disapproved.

Sadly, the marriage between Aerys II Targaryen and his sister, Rhaella, was not as happy; though she turned a blind eye to most of the king’s infidelities, the queen did not approve of his “turning my ladies into his whores.”

This led Rhaella to eventually dismiss her friend and lady-in-waiting Joanna Lannister, who as everyone knows, married Aerys’ Hand, Tywin Lannister. Her marriage suffered as did her health when she lost 5 babies in a ten year period.

Relations between the king and queen grew even more strained when Rhaella proved unable to give Aerys any further children. Miscarriages in 263 and 264 were followed by a stillborn daughter born in 267. Prince Daeron, born in 269, survived for only half a year. Then came another stillbirth in 270, another miscarriage in 271, and Prince Aegon, born two turns premature in 272, dead in 273.

This tidbit had escaped me entirely but when Tytos Lannister died in 267AC, Tywin returned west and Aerys accompanied him with Rhaegar.

Though His Grace left the queen behind in King’s Landing (Her Grace was pregnant with the child who proved to be the stillborn Princess Shaena), he took their eight-year-old son Rhaegar, Prince of Dragonstone, and more than half the court. For the better part of the next year, the Seven Kingdoms were ruled from Lannisport and Casterly Rock, where both the king and his Hand were in residence…

This highlights a period of almost a year where Rhaella and Rhaegar were separated. Again, I can only assume they missed each other- as any mother and child would- but nothing is written of it. It was also during this time that Aerys’ relationship with Rhaella began to show cracks.

At first His Grace comforted Rhaella in her grief, but over time his compassion turned to suspicion. By 270 AC, he had decided that the queen was being unfaithful to him…

Aerys began imposing restrictions on Rhaella at this stage, forbidding her to leave Maegor’s Holdfast and having two septas share her bed. This probably extended to her relationship with Rhaegar too, sadly.

The march of the king’s madness seemed to abate for a time in 274 AC, when Queen Rhaella gave birth to a son. So profound was His Grace’s joy that it seemed to restore him to his old self once again … but Prince Jaehaerys died later that same year, plunging Aerys into despair….

Nothing is mentioned of Rhaegar during these troubling times, but again, I can only assume he was kept separate from the inner workings of the queen’s court and wasn’t fully exposed to his mother’s troubles. We also know he was a solitary child during his early years and preferred books until the age of ten when he decided to take up arms too. He was seventeen when Viserys was born, and was “everything that could be wanted in an heir apparent” and yet it was still overcast by Aerys’ deteriorating mental health. It’s also worthy of note that once Rhaegar came of age, his role in the workings of the court would have increased; he may have sat at council meetings and been prepared for the role of heir. This paired with the fact that he continued to read, train vigorously, and travel to Summerhall on his own indicates that he didn’t really have much of a “family environment” to speak of. I always wonder where he got his love of music from, and I’d like to think Rhaella enjoyed his sad songs and harp skills- but again, WE DON’T KNOW :’(

The birth of Prince Viserys only seemed to make Aerys II more fearful and obsessive, however. Though the new young princeling seemed healthy enough, the king was terrified lest he suffer the same fate as his brothers… Even the queen herself was forbidden to be alone with the infant…

I don’t think Rhaella and Viserys were as close as could be hoped during Viserys’ early childhood. Aerys was extremely paranoid, particularly after the defiance of Duskendale which broke him irrevocably and turned him against his wife and heir.

Convinced that the smallfolk and lords were plotting against his life and fearing that even Queen Rhaella and Prince Rhaegar might be part of these plots, he reached across the narrow sea to Pentos and imported a eunuch named Varys to serve as his spymaster…

Similarly, when Rhaegar wed Elia in 280AC, Aerys did not attend, nor did he allow Viserys to attend. Since there’s no mention of Rhaella being prohibited, we can safely assume that she was in attendance.

They were wed the following year, in a lavish ceremony at the Great Sept of Baelor in King’s Landing, but Aerys II did not attend. He told the small council that he feared an attempt upon his life if he left the confines of the Red Keep, even with his Kingsguard to protect him. Nor would he allow his younger son, Viserys, to attend his brother’s wedding…

Rhaegar and Elia took up residence on Dragonstone after the wedding, presumably because Rhaegar and Aerys were definitely at odds at this stage and rumours and paranoia were rampant. There were talks of Aerys possibly disinheriting Rhaegar, Rhaegar deposing Aerys etc. Again, no clue on how Rhaella would have felt about this- but you can probably guess! The only slight snippet we have is when Rhaegar presented Rhaenys in court.

When Prince Rhaegar returned to the Red Keep to present his daughter to his own mother and father, Queen Rhaella embraced the babe warmly…

This certainly gives us an insight to how pleased Rhaella would have been to be a grandma, so I can imagine this reunion would have been very dear to her too. Fast forward to the Tourney at Harrenhal, neither Rhaella or Viserys were present, and had been left behind at the Red Keep. During the Rebellion, we know Rhaegar meant to win the war and bring about change- for his own family too, “... changes will be made. I meant to do it long ago, but... well, it does no good to speak of roads not taken…”

But when Rhaegar was slain at the Trident,

When the word reached court, Aerys packed the queen off to Dragonstone with Prince Viserys…

Nothing is mentioned of her reaction to her firstborn’s death (but we can imagine) nor the nine months Rhaella and Viserys spent together, but it must have been a time fraught with worry and fear as King’s Landing fell and House Targaryen was unmade. I feel most deeply for Rhaella’s life, and I wish we had more detail on her direct relationship with her children- particularly Rhaegar- but alas, there is not much to work with. All I can say is, despite her woes and losses and the abuse she suffered, Rhaella was a strong woman, she held her own and was dignified until the end. I’m certain she adored all her children, and the pain she suffered throughout her life affected her acutely, but she remained with her faculties intact and was able to possess the fortitude to carry Daenerys to full-term and deliver her safely, before sadly perishing herself. 

RIP Rhaella, your daughter is amazing and you would be so proud of her, and Rhaegar’s legacy also lives on. VIVA LA HOUSE TARGARYEN!!!! I really hope this answered your question, if not, it certainly made me sad AF to research all this.

[bubblyani]

More Than Enough

(Rick x Reader)

A Rick (Knight of Cups) Songfic One Shot

Song Used: “More Than Enough” - Alina Baraz

Author’s Note: The more I listened to this song the more I was thinking of this character. So really wanted to write something for him. It was interesting trying to get that same artistic feeling Terence Malik made us feel in the movie with this. Enjoy!

Your fingers slowly grazed over the phone screen as if they were in contact with the skin of a newborn. Swiping, tapping, you did it all silently. Finally giving the screen one last tap, you waited for the Bluetooth speakers to come alive. Except it did not. 

A wave of concern washed over you. Perhaps the connection was still pending, you thought. But you remained patient, with your eyes glued to the small screen that lay on the table. You gasped in the form of a soft inhalation the moment you felt Rick appear behind you, his head popping over your shoulder to glance.

“What is it?” He asked, with his gentle voice. Wearing a soft smile, you slowly turned to face him.

“You’ll see…” you said, with confidence. Yet, the music did not play. The only sounds your ears could grasp onto were the soothing sounds of the ocean nearby while the warm LA breeze caressed your body.

“It’s this song…” You began, looking down, “that I really like…” you continued, watching your right draw circles in the space between your feet and his. Though you did not show it, you wondered whether there was an error on your device. But that embarrassment quickly washed away, like a crashing wave over the sand the moment the melodic bass began to fill the atmosphere. It was slow but rhythmic, played to the time of a waltz.

“Truthfully it makes more sense now than it ever did before” you added, feeling his eyes watch you with the greatest fascination. There he goes, you thought. Doing that again. Playing the observer. But truthfully, you did not want him to be just that.

You noticed it even on the very first meeting. His eyes were what you could not get over. Never did you imagine to find a pair of eyes like his, in a place so superficial like an After party of your Dance Company’s seasonal recital. In the midst of eyes that had little to none souls left, you were refreshed to see a pair that brimmed in it.

A wealthy sponsor of your Dance Company surprisingly was your mutual acquaintance, introducing Rick as a “fellow brethren in the arts” to you and others that gathered around over chilled glasses of champagne.

“And Y/N? Our star dancer? Oh.. she’s simply the…” Compliments. You heard compliments pouring all over, you felt like you were in need of a raincoat. Even after all these years, You did not have the skin to take it all. Indeed, they were all good. A figurative pat on the back, but an overdose of anything could make anyone uncomfortable. And when your eyes met Rick’s through all the chatter. He truly did see you. So much so you swore you heard his eyes say, “I know…”

Nodding, smiling you were accustomed in sailing through the shallow waters of socialite conversation that was unavoidable. That was how it always went. But the need to escape it always lingered within you. Thankfully, with him around, it did not seem  insufferable. His eyes, they kept company throughout. To the point your eyes had a silent conversation with his. You both laughed, you both cringed, inconspicuously with just your eyes. And by the end of the party you knew in your bones you wanted to see him again. And when he came over to ask you for your number, you were relieved to know he wanted the same.

Only alone were the two of you finally felt liberated to let the conversations flow. Finally, you were not the star of a dance production, or someone’s poster girl. You were just yourself. Rick spoke less than you hoped he would. Or maybe you felt this way because of the secret admiration you possessed for his voice. It moved you. It affected you. It sent tingles down your spine that energized you to talk more than usual. You filled in those silent gaps. With Rick you were at the height of your freedom. Why? You did not know. It could be due to a mutual respect stemming between the two, along with an undeniable attraction. With that attraction also came patience. He had it in abundance, so did you. Yet, that did not hold you back when he politely invited you to stop by his place after your morning date.

Bringing you to where you were, leaning against the table in his living room. The melodic chill wave music brimmed in your ears, as it ushered the vocals to finally begin:

**You got a way with words** **It takes away the hurt** **And it's a blessing and a curse to feel it all**

Looking out to the distance, you took in every word. Every line was a clear reflection of your feelings for him. So coincidental, but true. You merely hoped he would listen intently and comprehend. Slowly, your eyes began to focus on him.

**You got a way with me** **You put me in my place when I'm petty** **Give me what I want when I'm ready** **Always hold it down…**

Sensing his eyes still remained warm, a rush of boldness came over you. With just a few inches between the two, your hand rose up, slithering its way over to his neck, making a turn to end in the back of his head, hoping your fingers would hold on to his hair. Those beautiful brunette locks begged to be played with. And your fingers complied with ease. Pushing your fingers in between, you lightly attempted to scratch his head. Confidence became you when he lowered his head, his eyes closed as if to indulge in the pleasure you provided him. Just the sight of him so peaceful, you suddenly lost track of the song altogether. The words seemed unclear about of the blue, fading into the background while your heart melted by the sight of Rick. You were pleased with your influence over him. With other hand joining in, ten fingers were in a trance of their own as they traveled from his head, running softly over his collarbone down to his chest through the thin, blue cotton shirt. The music may have faded into the background, but that did not stop the both of you from swaying from side to side. You heard him chuckle deeply, reacting to your feathery touch. Bowing your head in apology, you felt embarrassed, decided to rectify the situation by moving your hands away.

Except he stopped you from doing so, by taking your hands in his, only to place them back over his chest whilst finally gazing back at you with earnest. Only then the words of the came ringing back in your delicate ears once more:

**I get lost inside all the stars in your eyes** **It's a galaxy** It was true, you really could. His eyes told a thousand stories that you wanted to be part of. Whilst pondering on that, your own eyes widened slightly as face grew closer, surprising you as he lowered his head once again, brushing his lips against your extended neck.

**You control the tide like the moon in the sky** **Or the gravity**

His lips, they teased you, placing soft kisses on the crook of your neck, that deemed most sensitive. You were tickled by his facial hair, you were even aroused, especially when you sensed a throbbing in between your thighs. He was surely a magician, or at least he was for you. Tilting your head to his side, you brushed your nose against his right temple in sheer desperation, balancing yourself by the effect of his lips, finally listening to the pre-chorus with much clarity:

**Anybody else would be gone by now** **Does it really matter?** **All that really matters**

Desperation came up another level, when you lowered your hands, tempting his to follow. Guiding them over to your waist, you made sure they stayed there. But it seemed there was no need for convincing.

**Second I'm with you, all my love pour out** **Serve it on a platter, all that really matters**

For he pulled you close, standing straight so his eyes could capture yours again. He was like a magnet, you finally allowed yourself to admit. He always was, from the moment you laid eyes on him. Feeling intoxicated without a single drop of alcohol, you felt yourself give in. Your lips cried out in silent desperation, only growing silent the moment his mouth welcomed yours, in a long awaited kiss.

**All that really matters is you keep showing up** **Promise that I'll remind you** **that you are more than enough**

Your bodies kept swaying as the kiss continued, and the music progressed into a melodic vocalise. With his grip on you growing tighter, you felt body press against yours to the most satisfying degree.

“…this was definitely not a ruse to kiss you…i swear” You muttered softly against his lips, with genuine concern. Hands leaving your waist, Rick cupped your face with an expression that was akin to the ray of the morning sun.

“I don’t care” He breathed, assuring you with another kiss, that was longer and hungrier. Patience, had clearly worn thin between the two of you.

**More than enough, More than enough, More than enough**

As the last few repeated lines appeared and faded into the soft music, you paid no attention to what song played next, nor the sky accidentally falling. For being loved by him,  at that very moment, was simply more than enough.

______________________________________

@erika92pu​ @tealaquinn​​

Check my MASTERLIST for More :)

[sendnotes]

books i read in april.

this is going to be my thing from now on. i'll compile a list of all the books i read in a month and share my thoughts on each one every end of the month.

just so you know, i'm a little forgetful, and i have a tendency to forget names, plots, and other details. i'm hoping that writing these will aid my memory in recalling how i felt about each novel.

you can also find me on goodreads

so, let’s begin, shall we?

101 essays that will change the way you think (wiest, brianna)

self-help book

this book got off to a good start! some of the essays written (or should i say a collection of articles originally published on the thoughtcatalog website) made me think and consider my outlook on life, love, and so on.

the title overstates the case though. when i think of an essay, i picture something more argumentative and philosophical. not to mention that the majority of the ideas in this book are redundant. it made it difficult to get through. nonetheless, i was able to get past it because there were so many fantastic concepts and topics discussed.

overall, it's an interesting & worthwhile read for those who enjoy thinking outside the box.i lost count of how many times this book gave me aha moments. i swear, most of the entries soothed my mind and provided a great pick-me-up when life seemed to be frustrating.

the midnight library (haig, matt)

science fiction, fantasy fiction, psychological fiction

regrets, self-remorse, what ifs, family approval, drugs, dreams, love, passion, hatred, death, afterlife, multiverses, quantum physics, and a plethora of possibilities packed into a 304-page book.

i'll be honest: this book is already on my list of favorites. i'm simply blown away by how well-crafted and diverse the entire story unfolded.

a sci-fi novel with a dash of fantasy and a smidgeon of philosophy. if that's your thing, you should give this book a shot.

the first few pages of the book gave me an impression and led me to surmise it was going to be a cheesy ass chick lit novel that i'd only read and find enjoyable in high school. i was completely off base. it proved to be very mature, full of lessons, but delivered in a fun and entertaining manner— exactly my cup of tea.

it reminded me of a disney pixar film called soul, in which the afterlife is depicted in vivid detail. they differ on so many levels, but they both imagine life after death for people who are unsure of their path, purpose, and passion.

every chapter served a significant concept, so this book is well-deserved of a 5-star rating!

norwegian wood (murakami, haruki)

fiction, romance novel, bildungsroman

as i read the book and neared the end, all i could think about was how this book became one of murakami's most popular and influential works.

murakami offers a sprawling glimpse into the lives of a group of severely damaged youths grappling with the realities of what emptiness entails. take what you will from it.

i know a lot of people like it, which is fine. but please keep in mind that this book hit me square in the gut. it alternated between making me angry, sad, annoyed, and disgusted almost constantly. there isn't much else.

this book should come with a warning: "this is not a good place to start if you're new to murakami's works. this is not a representative of murakami's brilliance."

fist and foremost, the characters in this book are all repulsive.

toru watanabe was a fuckboy and a softboy rolled into one. what could possibly be worse than that? he'd have as many casual sexual partners as he could while also buttering a girl up by appealing to her emotions and displaying a "sensitive" and "vulnerable" side.

this book was made even more depressing by the fact that each female character was needy, weak, dysfunctional, and dependent. since they're all the same, i'm not going to go over each of these female characters one by one. you already get the idea.

reiko ishida, imo, was one of the best rendered sections of the novel. most likely because she had a better grasp on her emotions and goals than the still seeking youths... until, *spoiler alert* she wanted to do it with toru as well. a big disappointment.

to summarize, this book is primarily concerned with two topics: sex and death.

hidden meanings are everywhere, but when you get to the core, that's all that remains.

the four agreements: a practical guide to personal freedom (ruiz, miguel)

self-help book

first agreement ⏤ be impeccable with your word

this essentially means that you should not spew gossip or use words to harm others. because words have tremendous power and can cause significant harm. you are not only negatively affecting others with your hateful and thoughtless words, but you are also hurting yourself. this is something with which i generally agree. how i see it, when people are unhappy with themselves, they turn to others to make themselves feel better. as a result, they gossip about others in order to divert attention away from themselves.

second agreement ⏤don't take anything personally

alright. sure. don't let what others say about you bother you. it has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. well, i don't entirely agree, but i think it's a fantastic idea in general. however, achieving this goal will be extremely difficult. i believe it would take a lot of practice to reach this level of zen. plus, i honestly believe that other people's opinions still matter because they keep you in check. the best advice is to not be swayed by these opinions, but to consider why they were expressed in the first place. see what you can do to improve yourself from there. sure, it can be difficult to deal with; after all, no one likes being told they're wrong or whatnot. but it's not all bad news because you can sometimes use criticism and judgment to give you a competitive edge. i mean- don't you think hearing someone else's point of view is also an opportunity to learn and progress? ruiz should have stressed that it's not just about "not taking it personally because you know you're not that person," but also about not retaliating with an extreme knee-jerk reaction even if you believe you're being unfairly criticized.

third agreement ⏤ don't make assumptions

this is a real eye-opener for me. i've noticed that whenever i become enraged by someone's words, it's usually due to my tendency to assume. personally, i can't help but make assumptions. i don't know what other people's motivations are, and i can't help but draw conclusions based on the information i have. even if the other person had no intention of causing me harm, it's too late. the thought has become ingrained in my mind, and i never ask for clarification out of pride or fear of appearing overly sensitive.

fourth agreement ⏤ always do your best

this section did not seem particularly useful to me. i mean, aren't we all reminded of this all the time? this section is filled with sloppy writing, in my opinion. as if he badly wanted to finish the book and impulsively thought: "okay, fourth agreement: always do your best. that should suffice. lmao"

overall opinion: the third agreement was my favorite, but the rest were a no-go. don't get me wrong, i appreciated his ideas, but i've heard them all a hundred times before. basically, the book's sole takeaway is that we are all suffering in some way in our daily lives, and we are all dealing with different issues. regardless, we all need to be kinder and gentler to ourselves and others.

the song of achilles (miller, madeline)

romance novel, historical Fiction, war story

i'll keep it short and sweet:

i really wouldn't have had this book any other way. miller's writing is breathtaking, so rich and full of lovely detail. it's incredibly a unique concept to me that authors are rewriting such ancient history and stories to make them lgbt+!

some suggest it's tedious, but i disagree. it isn't slow; rather, it is just right.

'cause at the end of the day, it's not about war, tragedy, or heroes - it's a slow-burning, organic love tale between two young men and their inevitable connection.

it's sad, tender, and painful, but in the best way possible.

circe (miller, madeline)

novel, historical fiction, fantasy fiction

"greek mythology, but with a feminist twist"?! sign me the hell up! this piqued my interest... only to leave me feeling completely let down. seriously now. circe was described as a "badass empowered woman," which was the single most compelling selling point for me, and thus the most wrenching disappointment, i must say.

sure, it demonstrated the value of feminine power, but it also did represent how this power can be a force of good or evil.

not to mention the fact that circe fucked a married man or two in this book- i mean- how is that an ~empowered woman~?

let's be clear right off the bat: madeline miller's follow-up to the song of achilles is epic in scope but not necessarily in execution. to me, this read more like a tedious island tale. regardless of how many five-star reviews this book has received... i just don't think it's well-deserved. don't get me wrong here. miller is a fantastic author with a lush writing! istg- i'm blown away by how beautifully she wrote and carefully chose her words. even the most mundane phrases were written poetically. after-all, it’s greek mythology. but how did she manage to make circe seem so... bland?

[shardweavers]

Chapter Sixteen - Memories on the Tides

The trip from Lakeland had started out quiet. The fishing boat was a medium-sized ship, with a few cabins for a small crew. The trip would likely take the evening to navigate from the Source to Venmont Yards. Emet-Selch's money had gotten them closer to Eulmore, but that still meant going to the docks at the shipyard. The only way straight to the city was via an airship. While there had been talks of an airship route between the Crystarium and Eulmore, and visits from Chai-Nuzz to the Crystal Exarch, the implementation of the actual trip was still a ways off.

Emet-Selch had been first to board Dadfort's vessel. Shoto was next, then Yuki, and finally Sumire. The four split into two groups, each taking a crew cabin. Emet-Selch was assigned to share a cabin with Sumire, while Yuki would share a cabin with Shoto. The Viera stood firm on this arrangement, and took Shoto's bag from Sumire.

"We'll meet you in the kitchen where we can talk about what to do once we're in Kholusia. For now, go put your things away." Yuki directed, taking up a leadership role for the moment. Shoto let herself be led off to their cabin, not wanting to fight right now.

Sumire turned to look at the Ascian, only to wince and rub at his right eye. He looked away immediately, then headed toward the other cabin. "Come on, it's best to listen to Yuki when she's this insistent."

"I haven't anything I care to put away," the Ascian replied, not following after the Dragoon.

Sumire stopped, then looked back, making sure only his left eye could see him. "Then at least come choose your bed. I'll put my things on the other one and we can go meet them in the kitchen."

Hades looked to the Miqo'te, then gave a dramatic sigh as he moved to follow him. "Very well. I suppose you make a point."

* * * The kitchen, for what it was worth, was mostly just that; a table and chairs for crewmembers to eat while at sea. It served as a good meeting place, though, and Dadfort was currently making a bit of food and coffee for everyone. He had one crewmember with him for the trip, and had entrusted them with navigation above deck until everyone was settled. They had overheard Dadfort telling his First Mate that he'd take over once they'd left the Source and were into the Divide proper.

The four passengers sat silently around the table as the ship headed across the lake; Dadfort sat plates in front of Shoto and Yuki with a smile, then went back to get two more plates for Sumire and Emet-Selch. Shoto sniffed at the food before her, and her expression seemed to brighten instantly. It looked really fancy to her for a quick meal; crab cakes, with some quickly grilled mixed vegetables beside them. Yuki poked at her crab cakes with a fork as Dadfort gave the boys their food. Hades wrinkled his nose a bit at the simplistic meal, but Sumire looked impressed. His ears flicked and he moved to eat immediately. Shoto also dug in once the others had their food. Yuki sighed quietly and began to eat the vegetables; she watched the Ascian poke at the food as if uncertain.

"Venmont Yards isn't far from Eulmore," Dadfort broke the awkward silence. "It's the closest dock to the city, and the least distance you'd need to walk without an airship up." He brought a tray to the table with 4 cups of coffee, some cream and sugar. "We're heading straight there, but it will still take some time to cross the Divide to Kholusia. Whenever you get tired, feel free to sleep. Likely won't get there 'til morning."

"We're grateful for your hospitality, my good man," Emet-Selch smiled at the Galdjent fisherman.

"Least I could do is provide some food after making you wait longer for the ship than I meant to." He smiled and gestured to the coffee tray. "Please take your time eating. I'm gonna head above deck and trade off with my First Mate so's he can eat too." The captain headed off with another tray. It held two more plates and cups of coffee. He seemed a bit better now that they were on the water, though he had repeated that he wouldn't stay longer than simply dropping them off.

As soon as they were alone, Yuki used her fork to point at Emet-Selch. "What's wrong with your dinner? Not fancy enough for your exacting tastes?"

"You haven't touched the meat either, Viera."

"I'm still eating," she made a face. Sumire and Shoto silently looked to one another, then both reached for a cup of coffee; they'd eaten half of their crab cakes already. Yuki continued to watch the Ascian; he once again made an uncertain face, and used his fork to poke at what was on his plate... without eating any of it. Yuki ate the rest of her vegetables, leaving only the crab cake. She looked to Shoto, then to Sumire; both of them finished the crab cakes already, though Shoto was taking her time on the veggies. Sumire's plate was empty, and he held his coffee cup against him with both hands.

Yuki realized she'd never seen him turn down any sort of food, even if she felt unsure about it. She was also used to being last to finish... perhaps that was why she futzed about? There wasn't anything particularly odd about the crab cakes; she'd had them before in Limsa Lominsa. These did smell different, but they didn't smell bad.

'You're overthinking it, Yuki, just eat your crab! ' She silently yelled at herself. She started to eat her cakes with a frustrated pout.

Sumire blinked at her, then silently chuckled into his cup. His reaction drew Emet-Selch's attention; the Ascian raised an eyebrow as he looked between the male Miqo'te and the female Viera.

Shoto looked up from her remaining veggies, to Emet-Selch, then to Sumire, then to Yuki. She tilted her head; she didn't quite understand the look the Ascian was giving them.

"Did I miss something...?" Shoto bit her fork. Sumire looked over to her, then to Emet-Selch. He blushed a little as he looked back to Shoto.

"I just found Yuki's pouty eating funny, it wasn't really anything... vital."

"It isn't pouty, Sumire, I was just unfocused!"

"It also looked like a pout to me, Emet-Selch added, in a flat voice. Yuki glared at him, as she managed to keep herself from blushing too much.

The Ascian shrugged, then looked back to the food in front of him. It wasn't fancy, that was true, but neither was the sandwich he ate last night. He'd certainly eaten worse meals.

"You should eat too," Shoto pouted.

Emet-Selch looked up, then back to the food. No one else seemed to react to her words, and it had felt directed... maybe he'd just been distracted. He gave her a dramatic little sigh, then replied playfully, "Well, if you insist."

It had been an exchange out loud, but her feelings had pushed the point home. Yuki seemed focused on Sumire, who had finished his coffee and seemed to be staring at the cup. Emet-Selch made a show of forcing himself to eat, but it wasn't much of one; he found he liked the taste, and decided to simply finish the food.

The rest of dinner went on in mostly silence. When the Ascian finished, he stood up to leave. Sumire looked up, a bit of hesitance in his voice, “You heading back to the room then?”

Emet-Selch rolled his eyes at the question, “Fret not, the room is all yours.” The Ascian did not elaborate any further on his decision, he simply waved a hand as he wandered off.

Yuki frowned as she shook her head. The distrust of the Ascian was still clear on her face, but a tired look from Sumire caused her to frown. “Perhaps, it's best if we all retire to our rooms... we've got a long night ahead of us.”

Shoto nodded in agreement and scooted her chair back. "We should be sure to thank Dadfort for the meal and the ride in the morning." She smiled a bit, then turned to head off. Yuki and Sumire both made a sound in agreement.

The group moved back towards the crew cabins they were staying in. Sumire stopped at the one he was now staying in alone, as the two girls continued on to the further cabin. Yuki paused for a moment at their cabin door, then looked back to Sumire with concern. “If you need anything, you know where our room is…” A blush spread across her cheeks, “N-Not that you would... need anything from us. Whatever.” With a pout, Yuki stormed past Shoto, into their room. The female Miqo'te blinked, then giggled and waved good night to the male Miqo'te.

Sumire gave a tired smile in response, and pushed into the dark cabin. He barely got his door shut, then fumbled with his shirt as he stumbled over to the bed he'd picked earlier. He didn't so much crawl into bed as collapse onto it. Sleep encroached upon him quickly. His eyelids felt heavy as he almost instantly drifted off to sleep.

He could hear the ocean; at least, it certainly sounded like it; it was certainly a lot of water nearby. The smell was more enclosed, almost like a cave, but... drier. Sumire swore he had been in bed only a moment ago... he remembered crawling into it, barely managing to take most of his clothes off first. It felt like he was on something much more solid than that; a rock?

He could hear someone approaching wherever he was; hurried footsteps on solid rock, it sounded like. The person beside him moved closer to his ear, as their hand rested on his shoulder and arm.

"Theia, wake up."

I've heard that name before...

He felt hands on his arm gently shaking him, as the same voice repeated their call.

"Theia, you've been dreaming for a while now. It's time to wake up."

...dreaming...?

"Mmm, Khione, surely I couldn't have been away that long," Sumire heard a female voice answer. It had felt like he had spoken the words, but... he knew he hadn't. The male Miqo'te paused, as he felt someone help him sit up on the rock that he could feel beneath him.

This was so very strange... it was almost like the Echo, yet... it didn't feel right to him.

"Khione... did you happen to see my blindfold on the way here?" The female voice asked, as Sumire felt himself stand. "I lost it somewhere along the path here..."

"No, I hadn't. I'll help you find it on the way back, Theia." Khione replied, apologetically. "And if we can't find it, I'll just get you a new one."

"Thank you," Theia responded, as she took hold of Khione's arm.

This is... not... a dream... is it...?

Sumire realized he wasn't in control of the things he felt, heard, and said... yet... he felt conscious. It was very confusing. He quickly realized the sensations he felt were familiar to him; whoever 'Theia' was, she was blind.

He'd had to learn to sense the world the same way after he'd barely survived the dragon's attack. His right eye was completely blind for years, until he began training as a Dragoon. During that training, he had learned to sense aether and had regained a partial sight that vastly improved his reaction time. He then found he could also use the dragon's blood to see with his right eye more clearly, and that took moons to balance and adjust to.

...He hadn't thought about any of this in a long time.

His focus was pulled back as he felt hands running through his hair; makeshift combing. Yuki had done it to him before, when he'd made them late.

"Your hair is a mess , Theia." Khione's voice playfully scolded.

Sumire let out a breath, as Theia fidgeted, and he decided to relax, and see where this would go.

"That tends to happen," Theia reached up to fluff her own hair; short in the back, with two longer pieces in the front. She wore a slightly oversized robe, which she fixed, then pulled the hood of it up onto her head.

"We were to meet Persephone for tea, if you recall." Khione took Theia's hand to lead her forward. "She said she has someone for us to meet."

"Oh?" Theia perked up, and smiled, "Another star?"

"That's the impression she and Krystallos gave." Khione lifted her hands, and Theia cautiously tapped her foot to find a few rock steps down.

"I wonder what they're like."

"I'm sure they're as unique as we are," Khione said, her grin evident in her voice.

Theia chuckled as they headed along a stone path. She let go of Khione's arm, hurried ahead a few paces, then turned and slowly walked backwards. "I'm glad we were delayed in leaving again. I've almost memorized the whole city... it's such a big, wonderful place."

"You've seemed happier lately," Khione hurried her pace to match Theia's. "Perhaps tonight we could take a walk somewhere you've yet to memorize?"

"I'd like that," Theia smiled, then paused. She turned her head towards a sound and scent that were familiar.

"Persephone, we were just coming to tea. Whatever is the matter?" Khione sounded concerned.

"I'm so sorry. The person I wanted you to meet ran off."

"Are they okay? We don't bite," Theia joked.

Persephone chuckled quietly, then took a moment to catch her breath before she continued. "I don't know. There was a terrible sound, and he panicked. Krystallos went after him... I came to find you both. Have you heard or seen anything?"

"I didn't see anything on the way here," Khione trailed off a bit, thoughtfully.

Theia frowned, "I smell brimstone... and there was a deep growl in the wind." She turned her head into the wind, "The wind is coming from the... park, if I recall my directions."

"We should go," Persephone moved even as she decided. "Carefully."

Khione took Theia's hand, and moved to follow her, "If we find whatever made the noise and scent you caught, I'll find you a safe place for you to stay before I go to help Persephone. Okay?"

"Okay." Theia shifted her hold to Khione's arm, and they sped up a bit.

They hadn't run long before Theia slowed, and coughed. Khione turned to check on her immediately.

"What's wrong?"

"The brimstone smell," she coughed, then reached a hand up to her mouth and nose, "it's mixed with a smoky smell... and it's really strong." Another cough into her hand was followed by a deep growl.

"That sound came from that way," Persephone said, worriedly. "I can't tell if it's coming from the city or heading towards it, though."

"Theia, stay here." Khione hurriedly led her to a large, sturdy tree, then placed her hands on the trunk. "We'll go see what it is making that sound and smell."

Theia nodded, as she coughed again, then frowned. She felt a silk cloth placed into her hand, then lifted her head a bit.

"Take this, it should help with the smell that's bothering you."

"B-But... Persephone... isn't this... your scarf?"

"If it helps you, then I don't mind." Persephone absolutely beamed, as she gently pushed Theia's hand with the scarf. "Stay here, we'll be right back, okay?"

"Th-Thank you." Theia nodded gratefully, then hurriedly tied the scarf around her face to cover her nose and mouth. The smell instantly muted, and she no longer felt the strong urge to cough. She shifted to hold onto the tree, and listened carefully for any signs of trouble or anything she needed to run from.

Her thoughts turned to dreams, and she frowned; her fingers gripped the trunk a little. She scrunched her nose a little, then shook her head. "That dream still haunts me. A city of fire. Alone in the flames. Why do I keep seeing it...?" Theia frowned, then quietly rested her head against the tree. She spoke quietly to herself after a thoughtful moment, "Khione, I worry... is it... because of what happened... then...?" Her thoughts trailed off as she caught the sudden sound of splashing in the distance, followed by faint crying, and a whimper. "I wonder... if that's who we were supposed to meet...?" She turned her head a bit, then sniffed. "Hm...?" She sniffed again, through the scarf...

"Wait... This is near the gazebo we've met at before! I can smell that odd tree from here... even over the brimstone scent." Theia smiled a bit at her recognition, then left the tree. She hurried forward; one hand reaching out for a railing she knew should be around.

It turned out to be further away than she had expected, but she reached the familiar gazebo, and hurried up the few stairs to sit on a bench. The sounds of snarling and items breaking made her flinch, but she took a deep breath and closed her eyes to focus. Her left hand came up to hold her right shoulder as her head lowered.

Sumire felt a sudden shift, and flinched as he suddenly saw the strange vision. He adjusted quickly, and felt Theia relax here.

Before them lay a vast field of colors and shapes. He realized these places and images were distorted to him, but to her, they were perfectly normal... He felt they were things that brought her comfort. She knew precisely where she was in the space, and precisely where to go.

I recognize... some of these colors. They're the unchanging shades of aether for flora.

He touched the scar over his right eye.

...She can see... aether...?

He felt confused. It was how he balanced his sight, and therefore used all the time since he learned it. The dragon's blood helped balance the cost of that method, but came with occasional unbidden visions from the dragon. He knew Y'shtola was permanently blind from her time in the lifestream, and she used that method now all the time. So he wondered, if Theia could do it as well, why wasn't she always using her aether sight to navigate...?

He was solely interested in what lay before him. He no longer wondered what this was nor why he was seeing it, but instead, what would happen. Once more his wandering thoughts were interrupted, as he felt Theia stand, then walk over to a large, dark shape. She calmly reached out to place her hands on its head, as she quietly hummed what he recognized as a sort of lullaby. He didn't remember hearing it before... but it still felt familiar.

The big shape growled, then slowly curled up on the ground, as it fell asleep. Once it had stopped moving, Theia turned to hurry back to her seat, just in time for Khione's worried voice beside her.

"Theia?"

"Hmm?" Theia shifted towards the voice. Her arm lowered onto her lap, and pulled the scarf off her face on the way. Khione put an arm around her shoulders and gently pulled her in.

After some hurried scuffling, Theia heard Persephone greet Hades, followed by a soft sigh and a snap. She heard crackling of a crystal substance she associated with a cage, or a prison the guards would use on stray creations.

"Where have you been, Hythlodaeus?" Hades asked, exasperated.

"I went to get people to help transport the escapee back!" His grin was evident in his barely held-back chuckle. "C'mon, I knew you had it, Hades." He moved towards the sleeping, crystal-prisoned creature with a flourish of his robe. "And you did!"

Hades sighed, then also moved towards the sleeping creature. "It's quite strange that a wild creature like this managed to escape from Lahabrea's lab... I'll have to have another talk with him about letting experiments get away."

"Th-That... That one... w-was mine," a new voice spoke meekly. "But... I-I don't know why... it would be... here."

"Is that why you ran from the sound, Asopus?" Persephone asked, as she turned toward the two boys.

"I-I'm sorry. It... It was instinct. Th-The sound... scared me," he whimpered, "I thought I'd screwed up again... I-It should have been sealed in Anamnesis!"

Krystallos frowned, concerned, then hugged the younger man comfortingly. "It's okay, Asopus."

"Why was it sealed there ...?" Hades mumbled. The guards shrank the large crystal prison to a more manageable size, then marked it with a caution symbol before transporting it away. It had happened before, Theia knew exactly what they did. She wondered why something that large and potentially dangerous had been loose in the city in the first place, but the danger was over for now; she could always ponder things later.

Hythlodaeus moved to follow the guards, "I'll handle your paperwork, dear friend~! You spend the afternoon with your beloved!" He then chuckled as he hurried off. Persephone ran over to hug Hades in greeting, as Asopus reassured Krystallos he was better now.

Theia blinked her eyes open, then leaned against Khione tiredly. The older woman ran her hand over the younger one's short, blond hair.

Khione spoke quietly, a slightly scolding tone to her voice, "You know how much that takes out of you, Theia. Why didn't you wait for me?"

"I was worried!" Theia leaned her head towards Khione's hand. "It's okay, I knew where I was. I could smell the strange tree that's always in the park."

Khione paused, then looked around, "The strange tree...? There's no odd trees in the park, Theia."

"Yes there is, I can smell it. It's always here when we're here. It's very distinct." Theia took in a deep breath. She then pointed over towards Hades and Persephone, "It's that way. That strange tree is always here, so I know I'm in the park."

There was a moment of silence as Khione looked between Theia and where she was pointing. After a few moments, Theia hadn't changed her position nor said she was joking... and Khione laughed. She drew attention to the two in the gazebo.

Theia pouted, "What's so funny?"

"Theia, you're pointing at Hades," Khione barely managed between chuckles. She hugged the younger woman, who blinked, then took another sniff of the air.

"Hades smells like a tree?"

"Apparently to you. Oh, Theia," Khione continued to laugh, as Theia blushed, then began to laugh with her. She laced her fingers with Khione as she did so, then leaned into her shoulder.

Hades, Persephone, Krystallos, and Asopus weren't able to hear anything but the girls' laughter from where they were, but Hades had seen her point at him. He sighed again, then hugged Persephone as he mumbled about her odd friends. She just snickered in response.

"Are you sure you're okay, Yuki?" Shoto asked, worriedly; her eyes drawn to the unconscious Dragoon on the Summoner's back. Yuki simply nodded and gave an affirmative sound. "Any ideas what's wrong?"

Yuki shook her head, "No... there's only been one other time I had to carry him like this, but he was very sick then." She just continued forward as she replied. Shoto frowned, then hurried on ahead to keep pace with Emet-Selch. Yuki looked to Sumire's violet hair, and mumbled to herself. "...I'm just... worried about you, Sumi."

He whimpered quietly, and shifted. Yuki looked surprised, then cleared her throat as Sumire reached up to his head.

"Oh good, you're finally awake," Yuki spoke, which alerted Shoto and Emet-Selch to the Dragoon's movements.

"Sumire! Are you alright?" Shoto asked as she hurried back. The Dragoon flicked his ears, then lifted his head to look at her.

"Wh... Where am I...?" He looked up a bit, then sounded confused, "Kho...lusia...? H-How long... have I been... out...?"

"Since whenever you fell asleep last night," Yuki replied for her.

Shoto nodded, "We couldn't wake you up when we arrived this morning. You had us worried!" Her tone was scared, yet he could tell she was relieved to be talking to him. Sumire blinked, then frowned as he lowered his head.

"I... I'm sorry," he flinched, then reached to cover his right eye; his chin dug into Yuki's shoulder a little. Shoto gently patted Sumire's head, then hurried forward to keep pace with Emet-Selch once more. She relayed the info to the Ascian as Yuki shook her head.

The Viera slowed a little, to put more distance between them and the Ascian. "Are you really alright, Sumire...?" Her voice shook a little as she asked, despite her best efforts not to.

Sumire frowned, "I'm... not sure. I don't... remember much about last night. I know... we were on the boat. I remember feeling tired after I ate. I had," he trailed off, then lowered his arm to half hug Yuki's shoulders. "...I had a strange dream."

Yuki frowned, then looked forward again, "Was it one of those dreams?"

"N-No," Sumire stuttered, as he shook his head. He had always told her his 'bad feelings' came from 'the dragon's dreams'. They were what made him wary of situations... and helped them avoid trouble sometimes. This hadn't been anything like that, though... He looked up, then flinched as he looked to Shoto and Emet-Selch, "No, it... I-I'm sorry... for making you... take care of me."

"It's fine," she shifted him a little on her back, "We couldn't very well leave you behind."

"Y-You can... let me off... a-at the aetheryte shard near the entrance. I don't... I don't think I can... make the trek up to it yet." He let go of Yuki's shoulders with one arm, and once again held his head, favoring covering his right eye.

She frowned in response, then lowered her head a little. "Don't be ridiculous. I'll take the stairs up. We'll find you a place in the parlor to sit and rest."

"But--"

"No buts. I won't have you passing out again because you used the aethernet while low on aether."

Sumire blinked, low on aether...? He hadn't thought that might be the problem... was that... what someone had noticed?

Yuki noticed his silence. "Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad...?" He lowered his arm, then looked down to the path. "I... I hadn't thought of that... being my issue. I should have listened to you when you noticed something was wrong... I'm sorry."

Yuki shook her head as they passed some familiar faces in Gatetown. Most people left them alone, though, even though they could see one of the group being carried. Things were still slow to change, but it didn't seem to bother the Viera. Shoto turned to look back at the two worriedly. Yuki simply nodded and gave her a small, reassuring smile to let her keep going. "Do you remember Ala Mhigo, Sumire?"

"Which... part?"

Yuki gave a nostalgic smile, then glanced at his face for a moment. She took a breath and looked up to the gates ahead of them, "I carried you for a long distance to keep us ahead of the Imperials. You were sick with that terrible fever, but we couldn't stay still. We were the last two left from our group, and they chased us all the way to Kugane."

"I... remember some of that... I was... very out of it then," Sumire mumbled, with a blush.

Yuki chuckled, then nodded, "I took care of you for a week, and didn't stop until we'd found a way to get to Doma..." She frowned, "I didn't want either of us caught... I was so grateful for the Doman Resistance. They didn't have to help us, but... they helped take care of your fever."

"I remember waking up to that Doman girl poking my arm," he mumbled into Yuki's shoulder.

"She was worried! You had been asleep for two days straight," Yuki chuckled, then trailed off. She looked down as they approached the steps up to the entrance of Eulmore. "I was... scared that would happen again. The way you've been acting lately... when we couldn't wake you after we arrived at Venmont Yards... all I could think of was that I had to get you to Eulmore. That Alphinaud might be able to help. Shoto couldn't find anything wrong with you." She briefly glanced up to the guards. They greeted the group as they passed through the door. Shoto and Emet-Selch headed off to head up the stairs, and they seemed to be caught up in a conversation. Yuki wasn't paying much attention to them nor where she was walking. She was distracted enough that she just kept going forward without stopping. Sumire didn't seem to notice either.

"Thank you... Khione," The Dragoon jerked as the name left his mouth. He reached up to cover his mouth, then sounded confused. "Wh... Why did I say that...?"

Yuki wanted to ask who Khione was, but she felt like she should already know that somehow, and never spoke the question. She stopped as she looked up to see they were by the elevator, and blinked. "Ah, I went too far. I wasn't paying attention." Sumire looked ready to be sick, with his hand over his mouth. Yuki looked a bit worn from their conversation.

"Good morning, ma'am! You seem to need the elevator," a Mystel guard spoke up, even as a Hume turned his head away. The Mystel turned to open the doors for Yuki, and gave her an apologetic smile. "This will take you the whole way up. Please relax."

Yuki heard the Hume grumble something, but it was incoherent.

The Mystel seemed to understand him though, then hissed, "Quiet. "

"Thank you," Yuki replied, quietly, and accepted the elevator trip. Sumire stayed silent until they were alone, on the way up.

"You can let me down."

"Sumire."

"I'll take my time walking, and I will sit in the parlor while you go find Alphinaud. If Y'shtola has arrived, I'm sure they're talking." Sumire shifted, and Yuki carefully let go of his legs. He caught himself on the elevator handrail, then leaned against the wall. "Thank you... Yuki. I didn't mean to cause trouble."

"Nonsense," she crossed her arms, as she stared at the doors before them. "I don't mind making sure you're okay... Sumi."

The Miqo'te Dragoon fidgeted, his tail flick back and forth thoughtfully. Sumire then looked up to Yuki, but couldn't find any words to say. He felt guilty for the trouble he'd caused, and that he hadn't told Yuki how he truly felt. His eye was making him dizzy, he was having trouble focusing, and he had felt more exhausted than ever after they left. His ears pinned back, "I didn't want anyone to worry about me... and... instead, I made you all worry about me more. I hadn't thought that my problems could be aether-related, I just... I thought I was doing something wrong. I tried to push through it and take care of it myself, but... that hasn't worked. I don't know what to do now."

"We'll figure out what's going on. Perhaps Y'shtola might have an insight to your aether problem. I'll ask her after we've caught up on everything."

"Yuki... I passed out on you when I was asleep." Sumire stood up, his tail flicked in annoyance with himself. "That's... That's not just a simple problem. I can't just try to sleep more and eat better."

"Maybe it has something to do with your eye," Yuki frowned, but she stayed staring at the door ahead of her. Questions formed in her mind; what she could ask of Y'shtola.

"I feel like I want to sleep for days..." Yuki stiffened her shoulders at his admission. Her ear twitched as he continued, "There's a part of me that's not surprised you couldn't wake me... but... that dream I had while unconscious confuses me. I saw..." He trailed off. Yuki finally turned to look down to him.

"...You saw what, Sumire...?"

"I saw... nothing. Except... near the end. I saw what looked like a hallucination. It was just... colors and shapes then. Everything else was... sounds. Smells. Sensations."

"That's... an odd dream."

"Yuki..."

"Hm...?"

Sumire flicked his ears, then looked up to her, concerned. His right eye was closed, as if it bothered him. "It felt like when I was younger. Right after I was hurt."

"When you... lost... your sight...?" She looked to his right eye, and he nodded once.

"They weren't sure if I'd be able to see again, so they covered both of my eyes until the wound healed. I lived like that for a few years. They figured that I'd been completely blinded and never bothered to check... I just... accepted that."

Yuki nearly forgot where they were, and turned to look at Sumire fully. She only knew pieces of his past. He'd never hidden the fact that his eye was technically blind, but she didn't know that much detail. "They eventually learned you could still see then?"

"S-Sort of. The Matron wanted to see if I could get rid of the blindfold. My left eye was very sensitive to light for nearly a moon until it adjusted to being used again. I felt very lucky I had retained any sight, but... it took a long time to adjust..."

"This dream of yours felt like that, then...?"

"It was the dream of someone who had no sight. Everything else was amplified to make up for that. The pieces I could see anything in, were so fanciful and colorful, as if the person had never seen what anything was really like, but... I," he trailed off, his tail curled the other way, and he touched his chest. "I felt like I knew what everything was supposed to be... even if I don't quite remember every little detail now."

"Maybe it was just your mind remembering something from then. You were unconscious." Yuki explained. Sumire shook his head before he had a chance to think about her reply, but he took a moment to think.

"I... I heard..."

Yuki tilted her head as he hesitated. Even she could hear the bustle from the Canopy as the elevator slowed, and glanced to the doors. "You heard what, Sumire?"

"...Emet-Selch."

The doors opened with a ding, as the elevator stopped. Yuki couldn't respond, as Shoto called for them, worriedly. Yuki took Sumire's arm to help him walk out of the elevator. He accepted her help and let her choose what seat he would sit in.

"I was so worried when I looked back and realized you two weren't behind us. I was going to take the elevator back down. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, Shoto. One of the guards down below let us use the elevator to come up. We took the offer. I'm sorry we worried you." Yuki smiled. Shoto shook her head and sat across from Sumire at the table.

"Sumire, are you feeling better?"

"I-I'll be okay. However, I promised Yuki I'd wait here for you to find Alphinaud. I won't go anywhere, I promise," he smiled at her, reassuringly.

Shoto pouted a little, then nodded and pointed a finger at him. "Okay, but I'll hold you to that!"

He blinked, then smiled a little and nodded, "If I don't behave, I expect both you and Yuki to let me have it." He gave Shoto a small chuckle, then looked out to the ocean. He seemed immediately distracted, and the female Miqo'te stood up to look at Yuki.

"Any idea where," Yuki paused, then glanced around, "...where our other... associate... is?"

"He... said he didn't want to cause trouble up here... in case someone recognized him." Shoto frowned, then crossed her arms, "So he went back down for a walk. That's how I realized you two weren't behind us on the stairs."

Yuki frowned, disapprovingly. "I feel like we shouldn't let him out of our sight."

"He won't leave." Shoto immediately argued, then blushed slightly. "That is. He promised me he'd stay around the area before he headed off..."

Yuki frowned more, then looked to Shoto for a moment before she gave up for now. She looked past Shoto, "Alright, alright... but do we have any ideas where Alphinaud might be?"

"He may be in a morning meeting with Chai-Nuzz upstairs. We could ask?"

"Hey. Come to think of it... that guard said the elevator would take us all the way to the top, but it stopped here..."

"That's probably just a habit. It's been a long time since anyone could freely go upstairs, remember?" Shoto turned to head off. She spied Alphinaud heading over to the parlor with Chai-Nuzz and cheered up immediately. "There he is! I was right!" She wiggled her ears proudly, then turned to look at Yuki. The Viera had looked back to Sumire in the moment of silence. Shoto pouted, then tugged her arm. "Yuki, c'mon. Let's go check in with Alphinaud."

"Eh?" She blinked, then looked away from the Dragoon, and spied Alphinaud; who had caught sight of them across the way, and waved. Shoto happily waved back and headed off. Yuki hesitated, but followed her a moment later.

None of us meant for this update to take over a month. @_@; It feels like the time literally just blew past. But! Here's Chapter 16 for all of you lovely starlings. Angel's computer is having issues, so the art of Theia that she'd been working on for the Amarout portion of this chapter got lost. :( As always, thank you all for your support and patience!

[thecardsimagine]

Hi... uh. I have a fever, it comes and goes constantly, and I'm feeling really bad... Could I request an HC of Julian and Lucio taking care of a sick but really stubborn and reluctant MC that finally gives in, but not with the plague? Just a strong cold, with fever and coughing that makes them throw up because it's so strong and body pains. It's a trans male / nonbinary MC, fluffy fluff, Post-Arcana Julian, and Pre-plague Lucio, please. And it's ok if you don't want to. ^_^

(We clarified pronouns beforehand and decided for him/his / Also sorry I am late I had a bad case of exhaustion for the last three days and was unable to write at all)

Thank you for the request I hope you feel better soon! Get well!

≿————-————- ❈ ————-————-≾

Lucio

Lucio will want the best for his darling MC. The best bed, the best doctors, the best medicine, and ideally recovery by dinner. He gets it better than anyone that his s/o wouldn’t want to be stuck in bed, but it’s only for his best after all. There is quite a bit of come and go of new doctors and nurses, only straining his s/o more than necessary, but if the doctors have nothing to provide a quick recovery with, Lucio is just too impatient to endure them. So his next idea is healers and magicians. While his s/o will feel better initially with homemade brews and house-wife remedies, he still won’t be fit enough for dancing and partying that evening, which is when Lucio has to handle his disappointment about it. He makes sure that his s/o knows that this is not him giving up as he plops down on the bed and pries off his shoes, kicking them somewhere further into the room

Announcing they can party the next day when he feels better, Lucio will instruct the servants to have warm drinks ready and served all throughout the night, and also bring some sweets and delicacies for late-night snacks and cravings. Finally, he will settle in with his s/o, some distance between the two but Lucio keeps facing him, alone so he can humor his beloved with some wild stories - making him jump all over the bed and gesture wildly, but luckily only to the amusement of his s/o - and feeding him whenever Lucio feels like he could need a small lift-me-up. Eventually, MC will confess he feels bad for Lucio having to take a step back and stay with him, even though both of them know how much the Count loves partying and staying up all night long, but Lucio will just wave it off, saying it’s no fun if he doesn’t have his lover by his side anyway

Julian

He has seen Julian fussing, overthinking and overreacting before, but probably never as serious as when the Doctor calmly put his hand on his s/o’s shoulder, put on a perfectly reassuring smile and said, “Stay in bed.” There isn’t really anything other to do than to nod and lay down, hands folded awkwardly as Julian starts some simple tests. He will prepare some tools like a bowl nearby, tea for the throat and stomach to set down on the nightstand, and a lot of water, all eerily calm and whistling while he does it. Julian isn’t ever gone for very long, getting him some medicine ready that he serves to his beloved with some water and, if necessary, some warm beer for the fever if his s/o can stomach it. Whenever his s/o wants to say something about the fact Julian is late and wanted to go to work for almost half an hour already, Julian simply hushes him, asking him to let it be his worry if anything

Julian is never far from the bed, always checking in if the medicine is helping and handing over more if he deems it necessary. He takes his s/o’s health as a top priority until he notices that his lover is slowly going back to sleep - which he needs urgently. He won’t even notice sneaky Julian leaving the home for the duration of his dreams, coming back with some soup, and while having delivered medicine to the people who needed him that day, checking on his s/o first thing when he comes home. Julian will be very pleased if he notices the medicine helping and the fever going down, which was his biggest concern. Heating up some soup, he’ll eventually wake him up, chuckling about cute and confused questions his s/o may have about where he got the soup from and when he changed clothes, answering them with a smirk and holding out a spoon to eat. Julian will tell him what happened while his s/o was fast asleep, overdramatically tell him about how hard Mazelinka worked to make this perfect soup for Julian’s s/o so that he’ll recover quickly, before noting that he too hopes, his s/o gets back on tracks soon so Julian can show him the cute new neighbor’s dog and the cat that meowed at him while he was on his mission