#when they hired me for the after school program but decided to put me with toddlers right after. they told me theyd train me

[acanthemp3]

its not easy being the least qualified most incompetent employee who is always fucking up but someone has to do it 🫡

[just-a-jock]

Get Digitized

Josh is your typical college kid maybe even a little nerdier. He majored in video game development and is a part of the gaming club at school he really didn’t take part in any social life. He was very average-looking, not too skinny but not too fat. Of course, he has some pudge around him One day while waking to his character design class he noticed a new flyer on the bulletin board

“Love video games? Want to earn cash? Come join our trail of Beta testers”

Josh loved the idea as he continued reading. It did pay pretty well and would provide all accommodations during the duration of the trial. He decides to take the pamphlet and heads to his apartment pondering if he is going to do it or not.

The next day Josh ends up driving to the address. Some big office parks with multiple buildings. “WAG” said the sign out front. He remembered seeing this developer when taking his Indie gaming class last semester. “We Are Gaming” is what the company was called and they specialized in virtual reality games and development. Josh was excited to see what project he would be helping in.

As he walked into the building he went to the front desk.

“Hello I’m here to be a part of the beta testing program,” Josh asked the receptionist

“Hello, please fill out the form on the iPad and one of our specialists will assist you momentarily”

Josh grabbed the iPad and started to fill out the questionnaire. It had all the reasonable questions you might think Until he got to the end

“What the fuck” Josh winced as the questions got more personal. Cock size, sexuality, perceived popularity. Josh decided to answer as he didn’t want to get disqualified and entered the form. Not that long after a man in what seemed like a doctor's uniform comes out from a secure door

“Hello, you must be Josh. My name is Doctor Houston. I’m the head of the VR department. Please follow me” Houston had a very stern voice with a seriousness that he did not want to mess around.

As he started to follow Dr.Houston Josh asked questions “Wow so you have a Ph.D. in gaming or computer science?”

Dr. Houston chuckled before answering “No, I have a MD in Internal medicine. WRG hired me to head the VR department as they want to see the reactions the body takes to long-term virtual reality gaming… and here we are” He finished saying as he opened a room to some sort of laboratory containing a monitor, sleek white gaming equipment and some sport of large computer. On the other side a window looking into what seemed to be a control room

As Josh walks in he hears a door close and lock

“Hey, what’s going on” he screams while banging at the door. After a moment he notices dr Houston walk into the control room across the room and sit down at a desk facing the main room.

Over the speaker “Dear Josh, I will be monitoring your experience from over here. Please strap onto the center platform near the screen so we can start”

Josh felt like this program was more of a medical drug trial and video game testing but decided to continue with what the doctor said anyway. As he walked up to the platform he put his two feet on the conveniently designated spots and looked at the screen as it turned on.

“Welcome player to your new life”

wait new life what did it mean by that. Before Josh could react clamps came out of the ground and attached to his feet holding him in place

“Hey what’s the meaning of this” he screamed

“Please stay calm as we proceed,” the doctor said over the speaker

Large laser pointers came from the side of the computer. “Beginning digitization” the computer screen announced

“Wait what?? What’s happening”

Slowly two beams from the computer started to travel up his body as everything it touched slowly disintegrated

“AHHHHH FUCK IT BURNS STOP IT STOP IT PLEASE” Josh pleated to the computer and the doctor or anyone that would notice

As the computer continued up his body in a burning pain he noticed on the screen a complete 1 to 1 replica of himself….. wait no not a replica that was him…

The computer finally made it up to his head as he pleaded one last time “PLEASE I DON'T WAN…..” He was caught off as his head was completely overwhelmed by the lights

Suddenly Josh regained consciousness but now he is in some white room with nothing around. He then hears a noise

“Customization available……. Character template chooses… JOCK…….. PROCEEDING MODIFICATIONS”

“What is happening stop this” Josh screamed but no one was around to hear him as his clothes completely vanished out of nowhere.

Slowly his body started to change to correspond to the data inside the computer

First Josh's feet grew from his regular size 9s to a huge size 14 which would be making noise anytime he walked anywhere. As the changes traveled upwards his calfs and leg muscles grew. His thighs ended up looking like watermelons and could easily break one if he wanted to between the two.

“Oh fuckkkkkkkkkk” Josh moaned as the changes continued

His cock and balls were next to change as his penis started to pull outwards slowly inching from a 6….7….8…….9……10 and finally ending at a huge size 11 which would make anyone fucked with It limp for days. His ball felt sore as they grew to baseballs filled with cum ready to fill and breed. The last touch to his groin area was the re-growth of his foreskin and ended with a continues leaky cock.

The changes moved to his torso as his abs started to chisel themselves one by one making a road all the way to the growing mountains that were his pecs. His chest looked like it was being inflated and his pecs were the Mount Everest of the range with a pointed nipple which faced downwards due to the muscle growth onto of his pecs.

“Ughh please make it stop…” Josh moaned as the changes continued

Next, his arms grew with his biceps growing to the size of footballs and his hands matching to be able to palm and grab any ball he wanted. The next set of changes started to settle in as hair started to grow across his body. His armpits started to burst out with hairs so thick that even when he put his arms down they would spew from the sizes. Next hair started to travel across his chest and legs thinking and giving him a nice rug that accentuated his already defined muscles. Lastly, but most importantly his bush started to grow more and more from his groin. Anytime of pants or underwear won’t be able to cover the spillage that will be coming over the top of them.

Josh was in a dazed state as the changes started to subside and finish up. He didn’t know how to feel…. Horny? Confused? Scared? Everything seemed so different as he started to hear the voice again.

“MODIFICATIONS COMPLETE….. STANDARD JOCK REGISTERED…… NAME: CHRIS HERNANDEZ… REGISTERED”

Wait that wasn’t his name why would it say that was someone entering all of this

“GAME WILL BEGIN MOMENTARILY… PLEASE HOLD”

Soon everything went black and it felt like Josh fell asleep.

“Oh god…. where am I” Josh woke up in what seemed to be a house much different to his one. It felt almost generated. Against his will, Josh got up from his bed and started to move to the kitchen where his body made a protein-heavy breakfast.

“Omg stop why can’t I control my body what is happening,” Josh thought in his mind completely scared of what was going on. Unbeknownst to him outside the computer his body was being fully controlled by someone on the outside.

After eating the breakfast his body immediately got up and started to walk to a new room filled with gym equipment. “Oh god no,” Josh thought.. His body started to go through an intensive workout against his will.

by the end of it he was completely exhausted with the last bits of energy he had he was able to take control for a moment and scream out

“HELP IM STUCK” . . .

“Um Doctor, there seems to be an issue,” the voice said

“What seems to be the problem?”

“The character said something weird… “Help, Im stuck” in like screaming pattern” he responded

“Ahh that’s strange don’t worry about that. We can fix that in the next patch. Might just be grabbing from some unused text files. Thank you for pointing it out” The doctor replied as he walked away taking notes and smirking

Josh was now completely trapped inside WRG new game “US” a life simulation game where gamers can be anyone their dreams can be. Unluckily for Josh, he was stuck being the complete opposite of his original self. Now is a template of a stereotypical jock for those who are too lazy to create their own characters in the game.

.

.

I hope you all enjoy. This was a story swap with @axeegliter. Check out their story and blog!

[mosaickiwi]

14DWY As a Drama AU

Hey remember when I said I’d post this in February oopsies!! (don’t ask me about demon!ren i will cry)

Open at your own risk this thing is LONG. Tried to give everyone at least a little something! upon putting this in my drafts i realized olivia exists i'll add her at some point uhhh. Also you can tell how much I love Elanor... hehe

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

The cult classic romantic thriller, 14 Days With You, is now a drama! Coming to all your favorite streaming platforms this summer. A whirlwind romance gone right and wrong that you DON’T want to miss.

Cast List

[REDACTED]

🖤 Quiet kid that used the after school theater program to delay returning home. Never wanted to perform, but loved doing costumes, make up, and correcting others (in his mind) on how to portray their roles. 

🖤 Spent a little extra time perfecting the costumes of a certain someone who didn't even know they existed. He always traded house chores with his sister so she'd sit in the audience to solely film Tree #2's performance.

🖤 Was an apprentice special effects makeup artist after graduation at first, particularly for horror films, but it didn't exactly pay the bills when they left home.

🖤 Easily rose to the top in their acting career due to his dedication for crafting characters to perfection. 

🖤 Dolly Parton/Lady Gaga-esque in their separation of work and life—completely unrecognizable in their regular civilian attire. Paparazzi have never gotten a picture of them in all their years trying.

🖤 Has zero issues getting into character, but does "method acting" on occasion to make sure people leave them alone on set. And also to fuck with directors and producers they don't like. Notoriously difficult to work with because of it + their overall attitude towards others, still gets hired somehow.

🖤 Got offered the role as the main love interest in 14DWY without an audition, thanks to a previous manipulative pink haired character he played in a film that ended up never being released. (2017 Ren because it's funny)

 Angel (you!)

💜 Participated in the same after school theater program as [REDACTED] and Leon for a few semesters before you got bored of it. Curiosity for acting resurfaced later in life.

💜 Newbie actor at the recently formed talent agency of your friend. Only starred as non-speaking roles or background characters in small productions until the drama. You moved back to Corland Bay after uni for the better industry prospects.

💜 You initially auditioned for a very small role in the drama as an employee in a seaside shop at first, but somehow you wound up as the lead? (un)lucky you.

💜 Feel free to fill in the blank for any whys and hows you think of to fit your OC/self/sona as you so please <3

Elanor

💖 Normally an actress and casting director, first time as an executive producer for the drama. Dreams of bringing her own romantic screenplays to life. Hasn't quite proven herself the way she wants in the industry to feel confident enough in them. 

💖 Catalyst for the drama being made. A "friend" mistakenly recommended the 14DWY book to her. She absolutely loathes all the psychological horror of it but sees the potential it has.

💖 Also the reason [REDACTED] was immediately cast, and you as well once she saw your chemistry with him while reading for a minor role. He hadn't shown a fraction of as much interest when reading lines with other potential candidates, so she decided to take the risk of an untested talent as the headliner.

💖 Refuses to use her family's name to get her stuff made. She wants her works to speak for themselves. Very picky about who she works with due to her family having hands in most of Corland's entertainment industry so she hardly gets a genuine interaction beyond ass-kissing.

💖 Always partial to working with Conan's small studio since he was the only director to give her any sort of criticism in spite of her family, as gentle and polite as it was. She still cried a little in the dressing room though.

💖 Genuine confusion when Conan wants her to act as both a producer and assist with direction. She only intended to bring it to his interest. But how could she say no to someone whose judgment and opinion she respects so much?

Conan

💖 Runs and owns a small scale studio in the Bay that seems to pick and choose its productions at random. It is in fact Alice sneaking into her dad's home office and putting scented stickers on the ones she likes. (She only reads the titles)

💖 Extremely proud of Elanor for getting so far on her own, and would take on one of her dozens of scripts no questions asked if she'd only work up the courage to show him one. So imagine his surprise when she comes to him with a romantic horror instead of one of the fairy tale romances he sees her scribbling notes on during breaks.

💖 While he’s the one with the final say, he does try to let Elanor have as much free reign as possible on the project in the hopes to boost her confidence.

Kiara

💖 A super-star actress and model that got her start in Corland’s local industry, but quickly hit it big. 

💖 When she isn’t drowning in work, she’ll swing through town to check in on her sister.

💖 Desperately wants to star in one of Elanor’s productions, but respects her sister’s desire for independence. Though she does like to tease about certain casting decisions on the drama when made aware of them.

the rest of the cast are unfortunately very silly i couldn't resist

Moth

💖 Started a talent agency out of spite for the terrible castings in their favorite media. Got further invested upon realizing they could read the scripts before the movies or show adaptations were even announced.

💖 The one who pushed you to audition for a minor role in the production once the rumor about who was cast as the main love interest reaches them. They've heard all the horror stories about [REDACTED] so wanted the inside scoop. Horrified and fascinated to find out you get the lead role. It’s like watching a train wreck.

Leon

💖 Joined the theater program initially because of you, but got really into it. Moved away to attend a performing arts school until his mother got sick.

💖 Took every wacky infomercial or street performance gig he could find to pay the hospital bills until Teo found out and swooped in.

💖 Eternally grateful for the burden of financial ruin being relieved, so he always accepts the jobs Teo gets for him. He definitely won’t complain since he’s not dressed in an animal costume and shouting nonsensical slogans for cleaning products.

Teo

💖 Met Leon through a shared production and quickly bonded. Attended a different performing arts school and met Jae as a child.

💖 Almost the exact opposite of his game character purely for the funnies. Shy, introverted, can’t flirt to save his life. Still a nepo baby but he can hold his own in acting. Doesn’t like his character much, but is extremely jealous of the confidence he oozes.

💖 Leon and Jae are his only friends in the industry so he uses his sway to get them parts if they haven't already gotten a call back. Gets REALLY nervous on set for certain roles so he needs their support.

Jae

💖 Attended the same school as Teo when they were kids, and is constantly pitching intentionally bad ideas and joking on set to reassure his friend.

💖 A little bit of a thrill seeker, so does all his own small stunts if he thinks he’s capable. Stands there and gawks watching the more extreme stunts, loudest to clap when they go well.

💖 Kept bringing Maple to the shoots cause how could he even think about leaving her at home? She would occasionally break her leash and wander into a scene for head scratches and kisses. The film crew always booed when a PA came to take her off set.

Violet

💖 Completely terrible at caring for plants. Inspired by her role, she starts vlogging about her plant mom journey before shooting even begins. All her advice is completely wrong and terrible. Her personal assistant keeps her in the dark by tending to the plants themselves to fix her mistakes.

💖 Finds out she has a talent for flower arrangement, though. Does thank you vases for the cast and crew on all her future productions that last a lifetime because her PA made sure all the flowers were fake.

Exposition

(silly on set shenanigans)

🎬 Scenes get retaken quite a bit, since you’re still extremely new to it all. Most of the cast and crew expect anger out of [REDACTED] after the 4th call for a re-shoot on the first day’s library scene, but he’s surprisingly cracking jokes about his dye job and reassuring you that you’re doing great. The infamously ill-tempered actor is smiling somehow… even being patient? Not glaring down his co-star for minor slip ups? They cannot recognize this person.

🎬 Violet and [REDACTED] naturally butt heads on set. She respects their acting, not the actor. Zero hesitation to snap back if he’s getting snarky with a PA. You’re the one people have to beg to separate them, and you’re completely baffled that [REDACTED] doesn’t treat others as nicely as he treats you.

🎬 Even though Elanor is a nervous wreck about the first real thing to ultimately make or break her career, she’s scarily efficient on set—as long as no one distracts her. She does get sidetracked once in a while, only because she loves chatting and answering any questions the cast or crew might have. She even brings one of her own cats to set during a slower day to see if they can get along with Maple. Leaves Conan in charge when the horror scenes are being shot. They’re both put off by how vivid they feel, but Conan at least can grin and bear it. 

🎬 You and Leon manage to catch up on set while [REDACTED] is otherwise occupied shooting said horror scenes. You tease him about a few infomercials you saw when looking up his actor reel, and Leon teases you back about your unlucky streak of being a tree or a rock in every play the theater program put on when y’all were younger. Laughs even harder once he finds out your most prominent roles until then were “unnamed zombie #5 at the bottom of the pile” and “sleeping train passenger.”

🎬 Try as he might, [REDACTED] doesn’t convince Elanor to change up a few crucial parts of the script for his benefit. His offhand threats of leaving the production fall on deaf ears, as she is all too happy to do re-shoots to make Teo the lead. His innocent hints to you about the shoddy script fly over your head for some reason! You love how it's turning out, what does he mean?

🎬 Super shy Teo prefaces and warns his co-stars before acting in every scene of his character being excessively flirty. Most of the actors have worked with him at some point or another beforehand, so they let him go through his routine without issue. Some crew members love the whiplash of him switching between overly courteous and smarmy, others vastly prefer the flirty character and mourn the loss as production comes to a close.

The Build Up

📺 The higher ups pressure Violet to start a short-lived streaming career to boost interest, since she’s hopeless with plants. She amasses a cult following for her MMO reviews, blind raids on new patches, and her wild ride of a Minecraft playthrough. In the end she winds up preferring to play games off stream, but once in a blue moon she’ll do a first time raid stream so her more dedicated fans can join and watch her alliance get wiped. Creative trolling is highly encouraged.

📺 Teo, Jae, and Leon appear on a late night TV show for promotion. It was meant to be for Teo and [REDACTED] at first. (Where’s the leading lover? [REDACTED] refused all promo appearances or sit downs without you being involved in them.) The host plays a clip that Teo’s particularly embarrassed about, and he hides his face in shame when the crowd hoots and hollers praise about his portrayal.

📺 [REDACTED] comes across as doting and overprotective of you once you’re pushed into the spotlight of celebrity, and shows increasingly concerning behaviors as the premiere looms closer. Depending on your response, they’ll back off to a point or dial it up. Interviewers and consumers mistake it as the eccentric actor’s “method acting” so the red flags just slide right past.

📺 Elanor and Conan guest star in a podcast for off-the-cuff romance enthusiasts. Their strangely cagey and joking comments like “there were so many retakes we couldn’t keep track of what was meant to be the actors messing around or part of the final cuts,” and “we’ve actually sent all the reviewers 1 of 14 versions with completely different endings,” leave listeners all the more curious to see the film.

The Climax

🎉 Reception is huge, in good ways for most. The majority of the cast see a surge in popularity if they didn’t already from the hype. 

🎉 Teo bemoans his endless offerings for sarcastic pretty boy jobs, Leon makes enough to get picky about his roles (and pay Teo back), Jae somehow cons a studio into an action film starring Maple—and subsequently adopts every single one of her stunt doubles. 

🎉 Moth throws the agency away to start adapting anime and manga themselves. Elanor finally feels validated enough to bring one of her romantic screenplays to the big screen, starring her sister Kiara and a very enthusiastic Violet as the leading couple. 

🎉 Conan’s studio is overloaded with scripts, and Alice runs out of scented stickers that much quicker. They are severely backlogged send help.

🎉 One determined conspiracy theorist sets out to prove those missing 13 versions of the ending are real, based on minor cuts and inconsistencies purposefully left in the public release.

The End, Roll Credits

choose your own ending

Bad End 💔 - A Falling Star

💔 If you respond negatively to [REDACTED]’s demeanor during shoots and promo: he plays the waiting game, uses his connections and blackmail to make sure all your roles without his name attached don’t garner nearly as much attention as the ones where you’re co-stars.

💔 Your negotiating power quickly plummets as you fall out of demand and end up begging just for the non-speaking roles you once loathed.

💔 The careers of anyone you got close to on set fall apart much faster than yours, before they’re outright blacklisted in the industry.

💔 You begrudgingly call up your last option. He can’t do much for your friends, but their offer to help you make a comeback is always open.

Neutral End 💌 - Just One More Try

💌 If you respond indifferently to [REDACTED]’s demeanor: the drama leads to you getting more offers, though a handful are for playing opposite of [REDACTED], as the on-screen chemistry was too much for studios to ignore for cash grabs.

💌 Elanor has rid herself of the drama’s subsequent rights, despite positive reception, so a sequel sprouts up in the works at a different studio. One that doesn’t mind catering to the whims of their actors when it comes to script integrity.

💌 You arrive on the set to find that not just one, but all of your cast mates except for them were written to have much smaller parts in the sequel. In fact, you rarely find a scene in the revised script where [REDACTED] isn’t alongside you.

💌 Sadly the contract is air tight, just put up with it until it’s over… What’s this clause about further sequels?

Good End 💍 - Off Into the Sunset

💍 If you respond positively to [REDACTED]’s demeanor: you’ll sadly announce at the post premiere press conference that acting was a one-and-done adventure for you. Retired effective immediately, no farewell interviews.

💍 You’re spotted around town for a few weeks in a mask with a tall, darkly dressed companion at your side before you disappear from the public eye and Corland Bay all together.

💍 A few of your friends at least have an idea of where you are, and they meet up with you whenever you're in a nearby city. None of them can recognize the man glued to your side, though. Not that he'd say anything to clue them in.

💍 After months of near inactivity, [REDACTED] mysteriously deletes their socials without a word, sparking confusion and outrage among hardcore fans still desperately hoping for a sequel.

[autistichrlady]

The Cover Letter Toolbox

Or, how to write cover letters while autistic.

One of the autistic traits I have is difficulties with what's called "expressive language" - I don't think in words, and putting my thoughts into words takes a lot of time and effort. For me, going straight from a blank page to a full sentence that makes sense is difficult, and making that sentence sound professional is even harder. So I came up with a way to avoid starting from a blank page. This is what I do instead.

When I've read a job posting and decided I want to apply, I start by making a list of qualifications and things from the job posting that I have or can do, just a list of words or short phrases like

Customer service experience Scheduling Microsoft Office

Then I go under each of those list items and make it into a full sentence.

Customer service experience: I have five years of experience in customer service.

Once I have the most basic version of that sentence, I think about details that I can add to it. The point of a cover letter is two things-

to summarize the things from your resume that are relevant to this job, so the person doing the hiring doesn't have to read the whole thing and connect the dots themselves.

to add details and explain things that might not be in your resume.

So some details that I want to add here are that I didn't just talk to customers myself for five years, for part of that time I was a manager responsible for training other people to give good customer service. And I was good at that- we always got good results on our customer surveys, and we also always hit our goals for stuff like signing people up for the loyalty program. So now I've got a second sentence:

As the [job title] with [company], I trained our entire team on how to best serve our customers and helped ensure that my location had the best results in the region for customer loyalty.

Another thing from the job posting that I want to address with this bit is that the job I'm applying for involves helping people over the phone a lot. So I want them to know that even though my experience is in a different environment (retail instead of an office front desk) I did still have to answer phone calls and help people over the phone. This is the type of detail that's not in my resume and that someone wouldn't necessarily guess, but I really did answer a lot of phone calls working in retail.

I also added a little bit of Flavor, so it's not just assisting customers, it's "welcoming, respectful assistance". Yes, I did try like five different words there before picking these ones. Usually I look back to the job posting and pick something that relates to what they've said they want. But I find it a lot easier to figure out details like this after I have the basic structure.

This is what I ended up with for my Bit About Customer Service:

I have five years of experience in customer service, providing welcoming, respectful assistance to customers over the phone and in person. As the [job title] with [company], I trained our entire team on how to best serve our customers and helped ensure that my location had the best results in the region for customer loyalty.

If I really wanted to add a lot of detail, I'd put numbers in here- how big "our entire team" was, what the "best results" were and how we were measuring it. But the position I'm applying for is with a small organization, and probably doesn't involve measuring sales in the same way, so I decided not to add that. If I was applying for another retail job, I'd include those things.

I repeat this same process with each of the qualifications from my list, copy-paste each of those bits in order of how important they are, and then I need an opening and a closing. For the opening, I start by stating the obvious.

Dear hiring manager, I am applying for/interested in/etc. [this position]

and then I apply my school-essay-writing techniques and do a one-sentence preview of the qualifications I just got done writing about.

I am confident I have the customer service skills, computer expertise and organized mindset to excel in this position.

For the closing, this job posting specifically mentioned putting your contact information in your cover letter, so I did that, and then I like to thank them for looking at my application because that's a nice polite note to end on.

I can be reached at [contact info]. Thank you for taking the time to consider my application, and I look forward to hearing from you. [signature]

Extra Bonus Brownie Points:

Go to their company website and add something that shows you have looked at their company website. Like yes, the main reason you're applying for this job is it's available and you need money, but besides that, there's gotta be something at least a little interesting about this company that might be cool if you get to work for them. In this case they had a whole big section about charities they donate to and how they get involved in their local community, so I added this right before my closing:

[this company's] contributions to charities such as [things from their website] are truly admirable. I've grown to love [this city] since moving here, and I would be honored to be part of an organization that does so much to contribute to the community.

Now wait before you go here's the important part:

I don't delete any of this stuff.

I copy/paste out the finished bits into a new document to send to the recruiter, but I keep that list of qualifications with sentences under each one.

Now I have a document with a list of qualifications I have and nice professional-sounding descriptions of those qualifications, and for the next cover letter I write, I can reuse them if they're relevant, so I don't have to redo all this work of making words make sense. If I decide to change them a little bit for the next job, I'll keep the new version next to the old one under the same heading. I also keep my openings and closings.

I used to have a big file like this but I apparently didn't back it up before my old computer died, so I'm having to re-create it, but you guys this saves me so much time I would otherwise spend staring at a blinking cursor. And it's easier than saving the full finished cover letter and trying to pull sentences out of it, because all the Bits are already organized by topic. (And it lowers the risk of accidentally copy-pasting the wrong company's name.)

I <3 my cover letter workbox.

[mac-cheez]

My Guide To Surviving The Waynes

This is inspired by an earlier post of mine and will be in an epistolary/Dracula style in the view of said uni student. I hope y'all like it!

Thxs @arrowheadedbitch for proofread and confidence.

Pt. 2 Pt. 3

--------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Diary,

I'm not a diary person really. I was always told it helps you relax or work through your feelings, but it never seemed worth it...... well not till now. Not till a "normal" morning for me was eating cereal while shouting goes through the house and under threat of death if I finish the milk. This is what's currently happening as I write this on my laptop trying not to spill said cereal. As I listened to another argument between Tim and Damian about something inconsequential (something about galleries robbing banks?), I finally caved and started writing. I figure this could be useful for reference or advice or even study (these bitches are weird as hell). Maybe I should start with how I got here?

I grew up down South. The bible belt was a weird place, but I survived I guess. My parents are loving and as understanding as they can be with their own experiences and opinions. My father is Army so we were lucky to not be on wheels at all times. My only major move was my sophomore year of high school. I decided to apply for the exchange program and was picked due to my fluency in French. I was sent to Paris and, loved it so much I decided to stay. I was able to stay till graduation and still keep in touch with my friends. I know, picture perfect right?

After graduation, I applied to many different Universities and programs hoping for a good criminal justice program to learn in. Forensics was the main interest I was looking for. It just so happened that Gotham University's Forensics and Criminal Justice Facilities just got updated by the Wayne Foundation (probably to deal with the crime problem). I saw that it met all of my criteria and applied not thinking about it. A couple of my picks fell through, but most came back as acceptances. I was about to accept one of my local Universities when I got the Gotham U acceptance letter. It said the usual spiel of "we'd love to have you, blah, blah, blah", I was about to throw it in the pile when I saw one specific detail, "We boast a 95% employment rate of our Science-based graduates."

After some research, I found out that it was true. Most GU grads get hired straight out of school if they have a scientific degree. That paired with the brand new facilities made me reconsider. I talked with my parents, and they agreed that it was likely the best option, but they were concerned about me living in the dorms or an apartment in a place like Gotham. I was about to suggest living in a city nearby and just commuting when my dad asked us to wait for a minute. He made some calls while I talked with my mom about other things concerning the move. When he came back he said he had a friend from work who I could stay with. He told me he had a couple kids my age and plenty of room. It wasn't till I was in the limo with a very nice elderly man on my way to said friend's house that I realized he meant Bruce Fucking Wayne. Once he parked (his name is Alfred btw) I got my luggage out and kinda just stared. He asked to take my bags but I just said no thank you. He hummed and led me to the door. It was quiet when he opened the door which I thought would be normal, but the worry on his face told me otherwise.

Suddenly from the hall, two boys ran by one yelling "MERCY" while the other smaller boy chased him with a sword and........ pink hair? I was concerned, but Alfred seemed more at ease so I tried not to think about it too much. Behind them, a guy came from the same hallway snickering at his phone.

"Master Duke, would you mind filling me in on the situation at hand?" Alfred asked him.

"Oh yeah Alfred, it was hilarious," 'Duke' said laughing, "so Tim put pink dye in the shampoo for Dick and then-," he stopped looking at me. "Uhhhhhhhh, Who's the girl?" He asked.

"A guest of Master Bruce," said Alfred.

"Oh! Oh. Uh, You're not......... ya know..... a guest," he asked.

"No god no I'm not that broke yet," I explained hoping the humor would land.

It seemed to because he immediately brightened and started introducing himself as Duke Thomas, one of Mr. Waynes Wards. I introduced myself and why I was there. It seemed like he was going to ask something when there was a crash and he said he should "make sure no one gets stabbed again".

"Well that was eventful," I said looking towards the hall he exited through.

"I'm sure you'll get used to it," said Afred, worrying me a little. This wasn't an occasional thing?

He started leading me-;skjfbsgdpibzebERROR++vbvnjkm;n;mxcvz;'anrvbA:----

[apollotronica]

APOLLO CAN U TELL ME ABOUR ON E OF UR OCS.. i was thinkin about how hearing u talk ab them kinda inspired me to actually pick my projects back up and also i think they r sick as helll :3 pretty pleaase ? ./NF!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

OKAY SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY I WAS STUCK IN THE LABRYNTH (i couldnt decide which oc to talk about) BUT i relauzed i havent really talkrd about hiiro at all on here :3 EVERYTHING UNDER CUT and ill format it like i formatted the buwan post :3

this hiiro (left image most recent) ignore thr typology on the right its outdated

fun facts :3

likes: warm cloudy weather, bright lights, computers and technology, large cities, classic literature, anatomy and neurology, strong flavors, squid ink pasta

dislikes: most people, sunny days, manual labor, following orders, bland food, going outside, trains and train stations, getting wet

nationality: japanese

relatives: (adoptive) mother and father, elder sister (pacchi, 2 years older), younger sister (heru, 3 years younger)

early life (sort of???) (cw child injury/neglect, bullying, ableism?)

disclaimer i havent Fully fleshed out its backstory so this will just be a large summary of . stuff that Occured

hiiro and his sisters were put up for adoption almost immediately after heru was born (hiiro being 3, pacchi being 5) and they took turns taking care of her bcuz their parents were too "busy" to hire babysitters. hiiro and pacchi got into a fight while heru (like toddler age atp) tried to break them up. because hiiro has always been quick to anger and sort of physical, when heru tried to intervene his first instinct was to push her as hard as he could while yelling at her to stay out of it, it doesnt involve her . errmm aftermath of that argument was . heru got permenant brain damage and hiiro and pacchis relationship Completely broke apart :[ aww womp womp . Ok fast forward . heru is homeschooled by a tutor and hiiro and pacchi are both in junior high. pacchi is popular and friendly and pretty, but her grades are lacking . hiiro has always been incredibly smart (even though pacchi is 2 years older, he skipped a school year or two and is in her same year), but his social life is miserable . because of his temper and Overall Unfriendliness he was put in separate classes away from his peers where he was the only student under a teacher who didnt care about hiiro or Pretty much anything . it wasnt seen often but when he Was seen he was beat up n bullied relentlessly n followed home , so a lot of the time he spent nights hidden in the school or in damp alleys because he didnt want to lead anyone dangerous back to pacchi and heru . when he Was home pacchi ignored him and heru would try to make conversation but hiiro was Pretty much entirely nonverbal during their school years . at home hiiro drew and wrote and played like anyone else his age but bcuz hiiro looked different and sounded different and acted different it ended up outcast and alienated :[ womp womp

career ??

aaaanyway yada yada hiiro graduates early n basically disappears into researching neurology n brains n Specifically how theyre "programmed" , they end up lowkey kidnapping a couple people to experiment on them w a janky "neuroprogramming" device that, once hes sure is Safe To Use , hiiro uses on itself :3 the way proples brains show up on the device isnt like an mri or anything , the way it shoes up actually Depends on the person so sometimes itll be a short rpg or lines of code or Minesweeper and because hiiro Made the device they can decipher what each brain thing means and collects data based off that . but because what he does is Very illegal the government eventually tracks him down and forces it to work w them or theyll Krill him .

fun facts part Two :3

hiiro has only had alcohol Once and despite being of legal age they were kicked out for looking too young . he cant hold his liquor

he frequents a gaming cafe and knows all the staff by name but is too embarrassed to be seen in front of other people , so it rents out the whole cafe when it wants to go

hiiro has 3 cats and they are all Huge

after he Reappeared hiiro actually reconnected w his sisters and visits them as often as possible . Its not very affectionate at all though

i actually made his voice claim miyashita yuu . the songs where hes louder and yelling r more what i was thinking at the time , but i think miyayuu's soft speaking voice works as well

all the sleeves on their sweaters are slightly tethered and frayed because he fidgets with them while working . the right sleeve is more torn than the left

he doodles in his free time and has posted a couple oneshots on obscure manga forums . they dont keep up with them but one of them ended up getting really popular

hiiro Loves scifi . his entire apartment is decorated in super lame and obscure scifi anime posters and figures

THANKIES !!!

[eternalchaoschocolaterain]

The Most Powerful Waitress

Chapter three is here! I said it would be soon. Merula starts her first job.

Chapter one: school's out

Chapter two: I'd hire me

Chapter four: Rinse and repeat

Chapter five: Patience

Chapter six: I don't know

Chapter seven (final chapter): No one knows

No cure for me

After some contemplation Merula decided to owl St. Mungo’s back that she would accept their offer. She had a good interview with them for a place in the cure research team. On Monday July 29th she would start training to invent her own cures. In a few years she’d be an inventor of the best cures the world, or at least Britain, had ever seen. If making cures was actually something for her. She knew it required extensive knowledge of the dark arts, potions, herbology and charms. All of which she obviously had and she did like experimenting with both spells and potions, which put this job above the other ones she’d interviewed for.

Time flew by and before she knew it, it was July 29th. In the morning she took the fireplace and ended up in St. Mungo’s reception hall. People with all sorts of ailments milled about the room, making uncontrollable noises, movements or both. The room smelled like a mixture of sweat and Winky Crockett's Elbow Grease. Merula scrunched her nose, not the most pleasant way to start a work day, but at least it wasn’t boring.

She headed towards the cure research wing, where according to the letter she got, Priya Mehra would be waiting for her in the library. The research wing was quiet, especially in comparison to the reception hall. She could hear her own footsteps echoing against stone floor.

The library had been shown to her during a little tour when she had her interview and she remembered where to find it. There was only one person in the large room, behind one of the many desks. They were built in between bookcases alongside all the walls. Like the rest of the hospital, the library had white tiled floors. It was lit by a big round fireplace in the middle. The woman, who had to be Priya, got up with a big smile and held out her hand when she spotted Merula.

‘Priya Mehra, nice to meet you.’

‘Merula Snyde, nice to meet you too.’ Merula took her hand.

‘I’ll be your mentor throughout your entire training. I’ll introduce you to the way things are run here, the rest of the team and be around for any questions you may have.’

Priya continued on to explain how Merula would spend a lot of time in the library the first few years, as it would be expected of her to look for an answer before asking questions. Especially for her basic healing knowledge. She would join the healing program on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, when they practiced their healing spells, but would have to brush up on theory on her own. No problem for the Most Powerful Witch, she could do it in her sleep.

She followed Priya as she gave her a tour around the quarters. Just outside the research room was the break room and the last room which could be entered in her normal clothes. To enter the work wing, Merula had to put a lavender coat, goggles, gloves and charm her hair not to fall out.

The wing had a humongous storage room with the rarest ingredients Merula had ever encountered and every one of them could be experimented with! Next were the many work rooms and a room Priya called the ‘culture room’. She opened the door to a room filled with what looked like human bodies of all different shapes, sizes and colours. Except they weren’t exactly right. The arms and legs looked wonky and not to mention the faces, which looked like a toddler had drawn them.

‘They’re as close to the real thing as we can get before we move along to human trials. They make great test subjects. We can infect or curse them with anything we want.’

‘And they’ll display the same symptoms you and I would?’

‘Yes, except pain. We don’t have an objective way to measure that yet. If we really need to know we’ll use rats, otherwise we find out during the human trials.’

‘Can I curse one of them?’

‘Not today, but soon. You’ll get a lot of opportunity to experiment with them and see for yourself how it works.’

Next Priya brought her to the room where her own experiment was brewing.

‘I’m working to improve Skele-Gro. The potion does what it needs to do, but the side effects are horrendous.’ She showed Merula how she’d deconstructed the potion. ‘I want to see if I can eliminate or at least limit the amount of pain it causes.’

She showed Merula her log, which detailed all the steps she’d already taken and some very complex equations. They delved into a discussion where Merula asked some questions. Priya talked to her like an equal and the more they talked, the more enthusiastic Merula got. Working here sounded better every second. After their discussion Priya suggested Merula get back to the library to brush up on some basic healing spells for her first practical lesson tomorrow. During lunch Priya introduced her to some other co-workers, who all seemed nice enough, and explained she would show her some other part of the job afterwards.

‘We have a very interesting case of a young man who got hit with an unknown curse.’

A little feeling of unease sprouted in her stomach, but Merula pushed it away. It wouldn’t be that. Couldn’t be that.

‘The curse has left him without sight, even though his pupils and irises show no sign of damage. Only his eye whites have turned red, but that shouldn’t impede his vision.’ Of course it had to be that. Merula tried to hide her growing discomfort and Priya continued on, seemingly unaware. ‘We’ve tried a few spells and potions, but nothing worked so far. I’m going to conduct some more tests on him and I think it’d be great for you to see that part of our work too.’

‘Yeah sure, sounds good.’

Too soon, lunch was over and Merula followed Priya into the hospital, to the third floor: poisons and curses.

‘Hi Jacob,’ Priya greeted the patient when they entered the room. ‘I’ve come for some more tests. I hope you don’t mind, but I brought the newest member of our team. It’s her first day and I want her to see as much as possible.’

‘Whatever, you need as much people as possible anyway. I wanted this curse lifted yesterday,’ Lee grumbled.

‘I know.’ Priya gestured at Merula. ‘Why don’t you introduce yourself?’

‘Lee knows who I am.’

‘Merula?!’

‘You two know each other?’

‘Her aunt is the one that got me cursed.’ Lee narrowed his eyes.

Priya turned to Merula, her ochre face a picture of shock. Of course Lee had to go there. Just when she thought she had a chance somewhere. Now everything would change.

‘Oh, and she’s sort of dating my sister.’

Wait, what?

‘What the fuck are you on about?’

Lee rolled his eyes, because apparently, he could still do that. ‘I’m blind, not deaf. I heard you kiss when you were here together. Why are you hiding it anyway? It’s 1991, no one cares if you date a girl.’

‘I know that!’

‘So, what’s the problem? Are you ashamed of her?’

‘That’s not- I’m not- What do you care? She’s happy, isn’t she?’

‘Then why are you hiding?’

‘Because it’s none of your fucking business who I date or don’t date!’

‘That’s enough,’ Priya cut in. ‘Let’s foc-’

‘It is my business when you’re dating my sister!’

‘Oh fuck off with this protective brother act.’ Merula took a step closer, ignoring Priya’s warning gaze. ‘You’ve caused her more trouble than anyone on this entire planet! So you can quit your whining and meddling or else-’

‘ENOUGH!’ Priya yelled. ‘Both of you, shut up. Yes, you too, Jacob,’ she added when Lee opened his mouth again. ‘I came here to do some more tests on you and I will. Merula, you will be silent and watch.’

Merula crossed her arms, but didn’t say anything else. She glared hard at Lee and hoped he could feel her gaze burn. Arsehole. All those years Quinn tried to protect him, even had to protect herself against him and now he went after her for not going around yelling that she and Quinn were dating? Sure, with her aunt now in Azkaban hiding wasn’t a necessity anymore, but it wasn’t like Quinn wanted to be public either. Half of her friends still hated Merula and Quinn didn’t want to get into useless discussions. They wanted to sort things about between them without anyone else butting in with their stupid opinions, was that too much to ask?

Priya got out her wand and cast multiple spells on Jacob’s eyes to test their functions. In between she explained the use of each spell. Merula got out her notebook and jotted it all down, trying very hard to push her anger away and focus. When Priya was done she gestured for Merula to follow her and brought her to an empty room.

‘That was highly unprofessional. I’ll give you a warning because this is your first day and you two know each other, but if anything like this happens again, you’ll have to find another job. Even though most of our work is in the labs, we do our work for people and you can’t go argue with someone, no matter how rude they are.’

Merula waited for her to continue and say something about her family, because why wouldn’t she say something about them? After all, it was her aunt who had cursed Lee.

‘Understood?’

‘It won’t happen again.’

With that the conversation ended. Priya went to document her findings and together they searched the library for some books that could help. They didn’t talk about the incident anymore, nor did Priya treat her any different than before, much to Merula’s surprise. The rest of the day went on without a hitch and she felt quite optimistic when she went home. Perhaps things could work out here.

The next day started in the healer wing on the ground floor. A much smaller wing than the cure research wing, with only a large break room, a room full of lockers and one classroom. Few people had already gathered in front of it, one of whom was Chiara; a classmate from Hogwarts and Quinn’s housemate. Easily recognizable by her silver grey hair and pale skin. They hadn’t talked much in school. Chiara spent almost all of her time outside classes in the Hospital Wing. Now she raised her eyebrows when Merula came closer.

‘Merula? I didn’t know you wanted to become a healer?’

Before Merula could answer a blonde next to Chiara spoke. ‘Merula Snyde wants to be a healer?’

Merula crossed her arms. ‘What’s it to you?’

‘Nothing. I’m just surprised.’

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

‘Well, I don’t. I’m becoming a cure researcher.’

‘That sounds like something for you. You always had top marks in potions,’ Chiara said with a smile.

‘I did,’ Merula replied and decided right there that Chiara was more than alright in her book. Unlike that blonde. She looked at her trying to see if her brain would come up with a name. Blond hair to her shoulders, partly pulled into a ponytail. White. Nothing about her rung a bell. That’s what she got for not paying attention to her classmates. Although, it wasn’t like the girl was worth paying attention to now.

A healer arrived and opened the doors to reveal a small classroom with tables in rows. Each table had a wooden leg on it. Merula chose a table on the second row as everyone filed into the room. Chiara took the table next to her, leaned close and whispered.

‘Don’t mind Sarah, she is a bit direct but is quite nice when you get to know her. Like you.’

That’s where Chiara was wrong, because no one was like her, but Merula let it slide. She clearly meant well.

The healer went on to explain that they would practice the bandaging charm, ferula, and showed what it should look like. Everyone copied the wandmovement: down and then a little arch back up. Easy enough.

White bandages spouted from the healer’s wand and wrapped themselves neatly around their own wooden leg. They took the thing and shook it, to show that the bandages weren’t moving, but reminded them that at the same time one should be able to put a finger underneath. Bandages shouldn’t be too tight. With that it was time to practice.

Merula copied the exact movement, focused on the outcome she wanted and spoke the word.

‘Ferula.’

Tattered bandages spouted from her wand and while they wrapped themselves around the leg, they were loose. Merula could shake them off with ease. No problem, this was only her first try. She looked around, the bandages from the others looked better. But then again, they were a month ahead of her. She would catch up. Then she heard someone snicker from behind her and turned in her seat. Sarah had a smirk on her face and exchanged a look with the person next to her. Merula narrowed her eyes. Was she laughing at her? The healer clacked their tongue and asked Merula to turn her attention back to her leg. She did with a huff. Shouldn’t let herself get distracted by someone so stupid.

At the end of class, Chiara came over to her. ‘That looked good for a first time. I think you’ll catch up to us in no time.’

Before Merula could answer she noticed Sarah throwing her a look while talking with someone. Enough. She stalked between the desks up to Sarah’s.

‘You got a problem with me?’

‘What? Of course not. It’s just interesting to see you here. I never thought you’d end up in a healing career.’

‘And why’s that?’ Merula lifted her chin, daring her to answer.

‘Well, everyone knows what you’re like. You’ve been the talk of the school since the day you started. We all thought you’d end up in Azkaban or something, but here you are.’ Sarah giggled. ‘It’s just odd, isn’t it?’

‘No, it’s not! I’ve always worked hard, why the fuck would that make me end up in Azkaban?’

‘It’s not about marks, it’s just that you did kind send people to the hospital wing a few times and you broke a lot of school rules.’

‘I just like duelling! Not my fault others are weak. And who cares about some puny school rules? Like I’m the only one who’s ever gotten detention. Get your head out of your arse before I do it.’

‘Okay, easy. You asked, remember?’ Sarah shrugged. ‘Now don’t you have somewhere to go? I know I do.’

She turned on her heel and left the classroom. Most others had as well. Only a few people, including Chiara, were still at the front, talking to the healer. She gave Merula an apologetic shrug when Sarah passed her. Merula rolled her eyes and marched back to cure research wing. At least the people there were nice.

But Priya did not look happy to see her. She shook her head when Merula entered the lab.

‘I can’t believe you got into another fight. I’m really disappointed.’

‘It wasn’t my fault, she started it with her stupid comments!’

‘It doesn’t matter. I warned you yesterday. It’s a pity though, I quite like you and I think you would’ve made a fine addition to the team, but two fights in two days is unacceptable. You have to leave.’ To her credit she did look unhappy about the situation.

‘Fine.’

‘You have a lot of potential Merula, I hope you won’t let your temper get in the way like this again.’

Ugh, temper, temper. It wasn’t her fault other people were stupid arseholes that got on her nerves. People were the worst. But, whatever, it wasn’t like she wanted to become a cure researcher anyway. She’d only picked it because it sounded better than her other options. But she had other options and she would just pick something else. It didn’t matter, the Most Powerful Witch wouldn’t be without a job for long. And the next one would be even better.

[arashikitten]

Heeeyyy…..

So…. It’s been awhile, huh? I’ll be honest the past three years have been… tough. I got into my dream college, promptly dropped out due to intense, slowly mounting burnout from Covid and my senior year of high school (yay public education), dealt with said burnout by becoming a borderline recluse, started a petsitting gig, am in the process of getting my drivers license, got a food safety certificate so that I’m more likely to be hired when I do finally get my license and start looking for a job, my mom broke her leg in two places and had to get a metal pole put in her leg to stabilize it, my dad moved to nc about three months ago, and my brother moved out earlier today. So. It’s been. A lot.

BUT! With the arrival of lmk season 5 I have rediscovered my muse! (I also finally fixed my damn tablet and learned how to use the new drawing software since Adobe decided to be an asshole and delete the program I used previously. Along with all the files I had in there!) I will probably be a little weird with updates as I am currently relearning how to draw after two years of not doing that.

Thank you for staying with me!

[kennieswrld]

I Know What They Did Last Summer.

[TW: Mentions of sexual violence]

This piece was written for my creative writing class my sophomore year of college. My life was in ruins, I had to check myself into a psych ward, could barely care for myself at home or in public, and had intense paranoia of running into the people who traumatized me in public. Though it has been a full year since this event, I still feel as though no one heard of the true pain it caused me and will continue to cause me until the day my eye’s close for the final time. Please if you are in college/are about to begin college read this and take the advice given. The experience you are about to read is true and honest and just a way to release the feelings and frustrations brought onto me that I never asked for in the first place. Whether you believe it was my own fault for falling into this situation or not, it should have never happened the way it did. Thank you for reading.

In my freshman year of college, I was recruited to work as a summer camp counselor for my school’s alumni campgrounds. I hadn’t met a lot of other students that year and the job was only for students attending my school who wanted to make connections with established alumni. I wanted to find a way to put myself out there and was excited to spend my summer in Lake Arrowhead with 50 new friends for 11 weeks. I also really wanted to use the money to buy a kitten. My recruitment was during the last quarter of the school year and returning camp staffers began hosting events to get the newly hired staff to get to know one another and learn about the camp experience before arriving at the camp. At the time, this was exciting and new for me as I'd never had luck with making a lot of friends. All I could think about was how I was going to experience the Wet Hot American Summer I'd seen in the media! But I didn’t think about a lot of other things during this period. Like the amount of alcohol we were being given during those camp staff mixers, or how the camp program was nicknamed a “campus cult” by the student body. I brushed it off as quirky facts that made the group more exciting to be around.

It wasn’t until I went through a messy breakup with my boyfriend at the time that I began to become more involved with the camp staff bubble. I would attend the mixers religiously attempting to form bonds with other staffers before the summer began and drinking until I became sick. I was counting down the days until I could step foot on the campgrounds. But because of my cursed fate of being an introvert at heart, I became too observant of my surroundings. Slowly, my rose-tinted glasses began to rise. Why were returning staffers seeming to quit before the summer even started? Why do they keep playing ‘Imma Be’ by the Black Eyed Peas at every single mixer? Why do I keep being told I will sleep with another staffer before the end of the summer because it's unavoidable? Why do all of the returning staffers speak like parrots and repeat the same phrases over and over? Well, after giving it a ponder or two I decided

to put my glasses back on. I was newly single again and wanted to experience a summer like the ones depicted in movies, and boy was that a terrible decision to make.

During these parties, I met a lot of the main staff, both sober and blacked out. I had never been a huge fan of alcohol but it seemed that inhaling a can of Miller Lite was the best way to assimilate myself into their culture. With the glasses on, I ignored their treatment of blacked-out underaged staff members as they let them stumble and groan to themselves back to their homes. I ignored how a returner grabbed and felt my body as he introduced himself to me at a mixer. And again, I pushed the glasses up my nose so I could see through them better. When I would come home from the mixers plastered out of my mind, my roommate would comment how it was concerning how much they would have us drink (e.g. every mixer would start with around 10 handles of liquor and a gallon of jungle juice only to be empty by the end of the event) and I would dismiss her very valid concerns as her shoving her Christian ways down my throat. But I really should’ve been listening.

Now on to the interesting part, the camp. I honestly don’t remember much, there are things I remember clearly and others that I have blocked out, and some that I couldn’t reimagine if I wanted to. The first day I stepped foot on the campgrounds, I was drunk out of my mind. I had participated in a staff tradition of chugging a Four Loko (which are banned in some states of the USA for literally killing people by the way) up Arrowhead mountain. I remember putting away my bags in the frat house-like housing that the student staff workers all lived in called Cedar and immediately finding out a staffer was raped a night before in the room I was staying in. As some staff came up earlier than the rest for extra training they carried the tradition of partying, from this party a female staffer I was close with drank so much she blacked out and went upstairs to sleep it off. As she slept, a male staffer followed behind. Nothing was said about this event to this day. The bosses quietly let him go and we were told he just needed to ‘go home early’ and that we needed to drink more responsibly and watch ourselves.

The Cedar experience came with an odd set of rules, you couldn’t open your windows or even look outside of them as they require you to tape over the windows so families couldn’t see or hear what we were doing, and you weren’t allowed to take any photos of the interior of the house nor were you encouraged to have your phone around if we had group meetings in the big room, you were not allowed to lock your door for any reason at all- if you were changing or taking a shower you just had to be comfortable and ready for people to come inside and see you.

And once I began training the rules became even weirder, we were required to eat with the families during lunch and dinner and were not allowed to eat with each other during this time, and we were highly encouraged to not respond or contact our families while being at the camp as the staffers were our new family for the summer. My routine for the days would go in the following order; Wake up at 7:30 am, get breakfast and listen to the staff meeting, work in training groups for around 3 hours, eat lunch and have another staff meeting, work in training groups for another 3 hours, have dinner with the last staff meeting of the night, have rehearsal for the opening and closing show performances we put on for the attending families until around 10 pm, go to Cedar and sit through another small staff meeting and then get drunk and ‘party’ until 4 am and do it all over again for 6 days consecutively. I was being hazed and didn’t know it at the time.

As the sun rose and fell, my glasses slowly began to fall from my face. It started with the Juneteenth-inspired drinking game they named the “3/5th compromise” where we had to shotgun a beer, drink some of a liquor handle, and shotgun a Four Loko to end it off. They never forced anyone to drink, but they never made you feel comfortable if you chose not to. Returning staffers would taunt me, trying to get me to join in on their version of ‘fun’. With each nightly event, they grew more and more uncomfortable and forceful. We had a toga party where we were berated in a room with pillowcases over our heads and our arms up in the air for around 45 minutes to prove our loyalty to the camp. Then there was a scoot your booty drinking game where completely inappropriate questions were being asked and shared as we drank more and more. We even had a skinny dipping event they called “Nakey Lakey” where we all jumped in the lake and came back to Cedar to “party” where some if not most of the people there were fully naked from the lake experience.

But nothing beats the tropical-themed night. That day, I desperately wanted to just go to bed after the rehearsal as I had been getting 3 hours of sleep for 5 days. But, I fell for the peer pressure beaten onto me and decided to check out the party. Everyone wore their swimsuits as they lined up in the hallway drunkenly awaiting our group walk over to the warehouse that we would party inside of. As we entered the warehouse it was dark and we stood in front of a closed door with a staffer manning the door. He told us something that stuck with me forever. “Don’t tell anyone about what you are about to experience, it is our biggest camp secret and we want to keep this beautiful tradition between us only”. His tone was firm and serious, and my heart had somehow found itself falling slowly as the doors opened. Something felt off.

The room was lit with red LED lights and had two foldable tables with a big soapy catch pool covered in a black tarp. As I stumbled into the bass-booming room I kept telling myself I was overreacting and nothing weird was happening. I remember turning my head to tell a coworker about how odd the setup was before turning my head back and seeing every returning staff member naked. Not half naked, fully nude. Full frontal some may even say. And I guess my heart had run outside the room because I ran to catch it. I had never felt a feeling as I did then. I sobbed outside of the warehouse until I threw up. My rose-tinted glasses lay beneath my feet, shattered and broken.

After collecting myself I went back inside and braved the sight of my coworkers and peers fully nude without even telling me it would happen in the first place. They even began running back up to Cedar in groups to jump in showers together and burst into people who didn’t attend the events rooms. My mind was running on a million thoughts at once, do I stay and join in? Or do I go home and tell my mom to pick me up? It seemed that the older staffers noticed my situation and tried to explain to me that the event was a trust exercise between everyone and that I didn’t have to join in their nudity. But their words were muted to me, all I could think of was how fucked up this event would make me in the future.

After this event, I left. I called my mother in the middle of the night after walking far away from the campgrounds in fear that the other staffers would try and convince me of how the event wasn’t a complete autonomy-ripping moment. My parents came the next afternoon and I had to leave in silence out of fear of being caught by other staffers. The ride home from the camp was a doozy. I knew in my soul that I had done the right thing, but in my heart, I felt that I was making a mistake. That I had lost the only friends who seemed to want to be with me. Nevertheless, I never turned back. I found out later that week another drunk female staffer had been raped the night of the tropical-themed party. I had the worst summer of my life, and I’m only 20 years young. I felt hopeless, depressed, useless, and objectified. I didn’t know what to do with myself after experiencing that. I still don’t honestly.

But, oddly, I’m glad that I had to brave myself through that torment. I never knew how strong I was until making a literal James Bond-like plan with my mother over the phone on how I was going to escape that place that night. I hate that everything happened the way it did, and I feel strongly about that place being burnt to the ground, but if I didn’t experience that summer I wouldn’t be able to know my power of not being a follower with no reward. Out of the 50- something people hired for the summer only 5 of us left, including myself. The rest stayed the entirety of the summer and pretended nothing happened to this very day. I see some of the people I worked with as I walk to classes and school events and it’s weird knowing we sit on two different sides of a scale. It’s weird knowing the lengths people will go to for the sake of “friendship” and it’s sad. But, hey! I got the cat.

[justsome-di]

Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs: Chapter 15

Summary: Alex is an ordinary, highly-introverted office worker. He clocks in and out and goes home to his little apartment he shares with his younger sister. He hasn’t dated in years. Until his co-workers set him up on a blind date.

The only issue is he and his date are not on the same page. At all.

While  Alex thinks it’s a normal date, Damián is under the impression Alex is a  client who paid to be there. No-so-quickly, they realize something is up. It’s all a prank. Damián is a sex worker Alex’s co-workers hired as a  sick joke.

After reassuring that they’re both okay, Alex decides he wants revenge for both him and Damián. The plan is to use the stigma of sex work and start a 6-week, scandalous fake dating scheme with a big finale at the office Halloween party. Alex’s co-workers will be too horrified to try to prank him again. At least, that’s the plan.

You can also read this on AO3, or Patreon  (patrons also get chapters a week early along with bonus content). If you’re enjoying the story and want to support me in other ways, consider dropping me a message in my inbox or reblogging this post!

Leo made sure he was punctual and on his best behavior. Damián had picked out a nice shirt for him to wear and begged him to keep it tidy. It was like Leo was still a child in Damián’s mind. Like he was sure Leo hadn’t matured past seven when he would try wrangling worms out of the mud while in his church clothes.

It could have been that Damián was nervous that Leo was going to make a heterosexual spectacle of himself. Leo could see the way Damián was almost holding his breath before he left the apartment. It was the classic “straight people are around” rigidity. Leo saw it often when Damián tucked a part of himself away when they left some bubble of safety Leo couldn’t see.

Leo considered asking Damián if he should stay away from the lecture, if it was best if he didn’t try to force himself in, but then Damián told him he was happy he was going. That maybe in the future, they could go to stuff like that together. There was no shortage of queer events in the city. When they both had the time, Damián had said fixing Leo’s collar, they should think about the next one to go to together.

Leo showed up 15 minutes before the lecture was set to start, waited patiently in the back of the lecture hall until Eve shuffled in, and found a seat with her in the middle of the audience.

He looked around the lecture hall. It was a sea of multi-colored hair cut short or grown long. Eve wasn’t the only one with an undercut, and she wasn’t the only one rocking an academic goth look—large black sweaters and Doc Martens were all over the place.

In the corner of the room, the guest was speaking to some faculty member Leo had seen a few times around campus.

“Who is this woman?” Leo asked.

“You didn’t look her up?” Eve asked, a bit of judgment in her voice. “Jo Sheryl?”

“I asked my brother, and he didn’t know, and that was the extent of my research.”

He should have put forth a little more effort, but he had thought if he knew everything about her, the lecture would be underwhelming. He didn’t want spoilers. If she had any great anecdotes, Leo wanted to hear them from her in person.

He also might have neglected to look her up in favor of working on grad school applications. He had finally sucked it up and applied to the out-of-state schools he had been looking at. Michigan had a well-respected, competitive applied math program, and Michigan wasn’t too terribly far away. It was cheaper than living in New York, too.

There were also programs in Connecticut and Massachusetts. 

Leo submitted the applications when Damián was gone on a date with his new, weird client. It was the only way to distract himself when Damián had texted him to say he’d be out a little later than planned.

“Yeah, well, Damián is a little older than her target audience,” Eve said. “He probably hasn’t seen her stuff because’s a guy in his 30s.”

“Damián isn’t all that old.”

Wait.

What?

Leo turned in his seat, infuriatingly small for him. All the seats on campus felt like they were made for someone three inches shorter than him. Complaining about how his legs were cramped in the small space between him and the seat in front of him only got him eye-rolls from people who didn’t seem to realize that while being tall was nice, there was such a thing as being too tall.

“How do you know Damián?” Leo asked.

“He didn’t tell you?” Eve said it so easily. “We’re in a gay book club together. I saw him last night, and we connected the dots between you and me and him.”

“Oh, yeah, his book club.”

“I actually run it.”

“No shit.”

“And my brother is—well, he’s been hanging out with Damián. They’re doing a whole thing together.”

Was he maybe the person Damián had been planning a night with at the end of the month? Was Eve’s brother the guy Leo stewed over? Eve probably shouldn’t have been giving up so much information about Damián’s clients and appointments. Leo had always held that information close to his chest.

“Anyway,” Eve said. “Jo Sheryl wrote a graphic novel. It was called Stories from a True-to-Life Dyke. It’s about lesbians in college.”

“That’s all it’s about?”

“Obviously there’s a plot. There’s Minnie, this freshman, and it’s all about her coming to terms with her sexuality and falling in love with this cool dyke.”

“Is that an okay word to say?”

“What? Dyke?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s okay for me to say, and it’s how the character describes herself. But if you’re asking if you can use it, then no. You probably shouldn’t.”

“Okay. I wasn’t planning on using it, by the way. I just wanted to know what the status was. I know there’s other words, and I’m trying to keep on top of the list.”

“What, a slur list?” Eve gave him a curious look and shook her head. “You’re a funny ally.”

“I’m doing my best!”

“I know. I’m just saying. You’re funny about it.”

Leo wasn’t trying to be funny. He was trying really hard. If he was a better ally, if he understood things better, then maybe he could return to Damián with some of it and make up for some of what their family had done to him. If Leo could be on top of all the struggles and hot topics, then he wouldn’t have to worry about Damián feeling isolated.

“Being queer isn’t all about the words you can and can’t use,” Eve said.

“I know. I know. I just want to know about things.”

The president of the GSA walked to the podium and leaned into the microphone. Leo had never seen him before. He was a little guy with purple hair. And though the dye job was patchy and growing out with a few fingers of dark roots coming in, Leo thought he looked pretty cool.

Jo Sheryl also looked cool. She had a leather jacket and a men’s button-up top, and her hair was cut very short. Her unplucked eyebrows, the lack of make-up, and the way she held herself was all very masculine. Her hands were shoved in her pockets until she walked up to the podium. When she walked, she did it with purpose. Shoulders held square, chin high.

Leo was very familiar with butch women. He thought they were neat. He admired them on the subway like they were a piece of art. He took everything about every single one of them in.

But seeing Jo stand in front of the room, he felt something stir inside him. Like this was the first time he was actually seeing a butch lesbian for what she was. Beautiful, bold, and so wonderfully not quite one thing or another.

Leo leaned over and whispered, “Is part of being gay looking cool?” He meant it as a friendly joke, but he feared it came off as a serious question.

“Yes, it is,” Eve whispered back with a smug smile.

Jo Sheryl began speaking. Her voice was low. She rocked back and forth on her feet and waved her hand as she ran through notes and a slide show. The lecture hall was silent except for her baritone washing over the waves of seats.

She talked about how she first came up with the idea for her graphic novel and how it seemed to blow up overnight as she was posting it to her blog. The response to it had been overwhelming. With love for Minnie came long-awaited-for acceptance for herself. She had received the positivity she had been seeking for years and also provided it back in turn for those who needed to see themselves in comics.

It was a cycle, she emphasized. When queer people lifted each other up, they lifted themselves up. When queer artists and writers wrote for themselves, they wrote for others and vice versa. The importance of community was never so evident to Jo as it was in the comment section of her comics. Strangers on the internet, all across the country, had made her feel more comfortable in herself than she had felt in a long time.

She was hiding less and less of herself not just to her audience but to the people around her. Though she was out to her family, she hardly ever talked about dating women in front of them. She had straight friends who she knew accepted her but didn’t understand the deeper parts of the LGBT community—the finer details of the history, the ongoing struggles, the little things Jo had to see and cope with every day. With the success of her comic, she started speaking up. Started showing herself more and more, no longer fearing isolation if they decided that she was being “too much.” There was now a massive community to fall back on.

Leo had never thought about being queer in such a way before. It was just like being Latino. He liked seeing people like him succeed. It felt good. It felt like he was capable of also succeeding—and doing so without having to give up any part of himself.

For a while, after he started college, he didn’t speak a lot of Spanish outside of the apartment. If Damián slipped into it when they were out, Leo stubbornly only responded in English. Damián, equally stubborn, would only respond in Spanish until Leo realized that Damián wasn’t forcing it but was giving Leo permission.

And it wasn’t like there weren’t other people speaking Spanish in New York. Leo heard Spanish all the time.

But there were some spots—the organic food stores Damián sometimes took him to, the clothing stores in the less diverse neighborhoods—where Leo didn’t want white women side-eyeing him or white managers coming up to ask if he needed “help” with anything with a tight smile.

Leo already had it rough in those spots. His complexion was darker than Damián’s, and he was taller and built up a little stockier. He was young enough to be up to no good but old enough to threaten someone, somewhere. Speaking Spanish, even in a place like New York City where people really should have been used to hearing an ever-changing flow of languages, made Leo feel like he was making a spectacle of himself. He could tell when someone turned to look, when people shuffled away while keeping a close eye on them when he and Damián naturally switched between languages.

Damián always handled those moments well. He never stopped speaking that lovely combination of Spanish and English, flowing so easily between the two. And eventually, Leo, as he grew older by a few years, understood why he did it. There was no point in trying to hide that part of them. It came with pain, sure, but it was worse to keep Spanish to the “right” places. It was worse to play by the invisible boundaries other people had drawn for him.

Leo was sure that that must have been how Jo felt when she cut her hair short or when she started shopping in the men’s section. It had to have been hard and came with the fear that was unique to being unapologetically visible, but it must have felt like a weight was lifted from her shoulders. When she saw other women like herself, when women like her saw her, that would have been well worth it all.

Leo tried thinking about how Damián had to navigate the world being both gay and Latino and if he could only be visible in one direction or another at a time when Leo wasn’t looking.

There were questions after Jo’s lecture. Someone asked if she was going to continue her series. She said she had plans for one more volume and then she would move on to other projects. She had more confidence now to pursue other stories she had been too scared to tell.

She was asked about upcoming artist workshops she was hosting in the city, thoughts about a recent collaboration with a writer, and if she had any advice for other queer artists.

“The one thing I want to tell all queer artists,” Jo said, “is that a lot of people are going to tell you no. Publishers will turn you down. Readers will leave nasty comments around the internet. It will feel like you’re not doing anything right for anyone because everyone has something to complain about. A lot of straight people who are trying to help you will tell you to ‘tone down the gay stuff.’”

There was a wave of laughter. Leo laughed, too, to show support and that he understood that pressure to suppress an identity, to try to be a more tolerable version of yourself for others.

“But,” Jo continued, “you don’t have to listen to any of those people. There’s a whole new world out there online where you can share your work with people who are looking to read it. If everyone else is telling you no, you need to give yourself permission to tell yourself ‘yes.’ And I want everyone here, even if you’re not an artist, to be as authentic to yourself as you can be. Even if—and I know you’re all in college so this might be the case—even if you don’t really know who you are yet. Keep telling yourself that you’re allowed to exist in whatever way you’re happiest. The world deserves to know the real you.”

The room was filled with applause. Leo clapped the loudest out of everyone.

The president announced the questions were over, thanked everyone for attending, and thanked Jo for being their guest. What a way to end things! Leo felt inspired. He was going to go straight home and tell Damián all about Jo Sheryl and how much he had learned from her.

He was going to see every single guest the GSA had through the next semester.

“I think I get it,” Leo said after Jo stepped away for a book signing. “Being queer is like being Latino. You know what I mean, right?”

“Yup. Us marginalized groups have to stick together. And you know, True-to-Life Dyke has a Latina character. She’s not a major character for the first half, but she gets a bigger role in the second volume.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. And I have a hunch she’s going to have an even bigger part in the next volume.”

“That’s dope.”

Jo’s books were for sale at a collapsible table with a long line right outside the lecture hall, but Damián didn’t have the money to spend $40 on two graphic novels. He’d have to find them later. Maybe at the queer bookstore Damián went to. Maybe he’d tag along the next time Damián went, and they could bump into Eve together.

The president of the GSA spotted Eve and made his way up to her. She greeted him kindly and introduced him to Leo, who made sure to tell him that he was an ally. The president looked up at him with a smile and as he began asking if they were going to attend the next meeting, Leo’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He left Eve to explain her hectic schedule and stepped away.

It was his mother. Great. It was like she always knew the absolute worst times to call.

“Hi, mom.”

“Leo, are you busy?”

“No, mom.”

“Good. I wanted to know when you’re visiting home. We haven’t seen you in months.”

Leo closed his eyes. He didn’t want to go “home” at all, but it was expected of him, and he felt like it was important to keep some peace between him and his parents.

“You don’t live that far away,” she said. “It shouldn’t be that hard to see us every once in a while.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” Leo said. “I’ve been trying to get applications for grad school submitted before the end of the semester.”

“That’s why I want to see you. I want to know how it’s going. I can’t brag that you’re getting into all the top schools if you don’t tell me when you get accepted.”

“I haven’t heard back from anyone except SUNY.”

“You’ll get accepted to all of them.”

Leo laughed nervously. “I don’t know. Some of these programs are pretty competitive.”

“Talk to your father and I about it over brunch in a couple of weeks. How’s two Fridays from now?”

She always scheduled their meetings like they were business partners rather than family. He just knew that she was penciling him in between a hair appointment and some tea with her church friends.

“Uh. That’s fine. I have class at noon on Fridays, though.”

“We’ll make sure you make it to class.” There was a few seconds of silence. “Where are you right now? It’s very loud.”

“I’m at an author’s visit on campus.”

“That’s nice. I’ll let you know where we get reservations. I love you.”

“Love you, too. Tell dad I said hi.”

Fuck. He had to deal with this shit in person. But it’d be fine. He’d get it done and out of the way, and he wouldn’t have to see his parents again until Christmas. If he moved a little further away, he could probably go longer stretches of time without seeing them.

Sorry, no money for a plane ticket. No time to leave work and grad school projects. See you Easter, maybe!

Leo hung up and returned to Eve who was now alone and scrolling on her phone.

“I’m heading back to my brother’s apartment,” Eve said. “Unless you want to learn more about the GSA. I told Chase I’d indoctrinate you if you were interested.”

“Don’t you mean recruit?”

“No, it’s an inside joke.” Eve shoved her phone into her pocket. “Want some flyers?”

“Sure. Yeah. Definitely.”

And so he left with Eve, hands full of flyers and a calendar of events and his phone buzzing again from his mother telling him that she had already made a reservation. When Damián asked him later how it was, Leo lied through his teeth and said it was great. He had had a great day.

[i-spaced-sorry]

Coffee Shop AU: Chicago PD Edition

My take on what everyone would be in a coffee shop au, this came to me while I was at work training yesterday and I might write something based off of it...maybe

Managers

Al: The cool manager who everyones likes! He is a big mentor to everyone. If you need to request a day off or trade shifts he will always approve it and help you find coverage Voight: The scary manager who only select people like. He rarely approves shift changes and will give you the run around until you stop bugging him. Trudy: The tough love manager, she is super sweet and will help you find coverage if you desperately need to change shifts or call off, but only for good reasons. She says she doesn’t care about anyone in the store, but really does.

Employees: Jay: Been with the store since day 1, has had in house relationships before, claims he is never doing it again, but then when Hailey joins he starts pining for her. His brother is always coming in and trying to get Jay’s employee discount for coffee. Erin: Was in a relationship with Jay, but she became a manager and transferred to another store. Since she became a manager she couldn’t date Jay anymore since that was abuse of power, so she ghosted him til he got the hint they couldn’t see each other anymore. She was well liked by all the managers Antonio: The customers favorite barista. Going through a messy divorce but is always happy when at work! He is the training manager for all new hires. Everyone likes him and likes when his kids stop by after school. When his kids graduate middle school, he decides he need to take a step back from the store and spend more time with his kids before they go off to college. Adam: Was transferred from a different store, thinks he is a little better than everybody because his training was a rushed 4 days rather than the 2 weeks it normally is with new hires. He is a great barista when he applies himself and always is trying to jump in either female customers pants or female employees pants. But he is really avoiding his feelings for his co-worker Kim. Kevin: Got the job so he can help put food on the table for his siblings. Is desperately taking every opportunity to get hours, so everyone knows if you need to trade shifts or give up shifts, ask Kevin! He is working his way up the ranks fast and really wants to become a manager, since they make more than baristas.   Kim: Loves everything that encompasses being a barista. Is friendly to everyone (customer, employees, managers). She really wants to prove herself so she offers to work hours other people don’t want (the 5am shift or even holiday shifts). She won’t admit it because she knows it’s frowned upon to date co-workers, but she really likes Adam and kind of hopes he doesn’t become a manager or anything so they can date. Mouse: Got referred to the store by Jay. Was in rehab and this is part of his outpatient program. Is well liked but is very shy and only really opens up when he is around Jay. Left the store after a year to be able to go back to school and finish his degree he never got to finish because of rehab. Hailey: This is her third transferred from a store but requested to do the whole 2 weeks of training, cause she knows from personal experience what it looks like when you don’t and what people may assume. She is best friends with all of her co-workers, but keeps finding herself scheduled with Jay (which she admits she doesn’t mind)  Dante: New to the store, wants to be well liked, so he is just keeping his head down and doing his job to prove he is a good fit for the store! Is shy but super insightful when you ask him something.

[quilloftheclouds]

Life Update of the Clouds’ Quill

Hi!! Hi hi hi!! Yes I am indeed still alive!! No I’ve not been active on here at all!! SORRY ABOUT THAT. Here’s part of the explanation for that, though! There’s been some major changes in Quill’s non-virtual life, and that’s been taking a lot of time from their chances for virtual stuff.

After high school, I went to university and eventually decided on pursuing further learning in the Earth Sciences, aka geology but with a bunch of other nature things, like water and weather and soil and plants. Then stuff happened. Let’s call it burnout, but Quill was in... a bad state. They returned home and put university on pause, the COVID lockdown began, and after a few years of popping around through various jobs and a few months of a free carpentry college program and an apprenticeship that was utterly horrendous, we’re here.

Almost a month ago, I was hired by a global, well-respected engineering firm as a GEOTECHNICAL FIELD TECHNICIAN.

My wage skyrocketed.

I get my love of working in the field, but ALSO I get to work in an awesome lab and office, science and math and hands-on work combined.

The people I work with are amazing and brilliant and it makes SUCH a difference when your colleagues actually enjoy their work.

This is the kind of job I would’ve been lucky to have been offered after finishing an earth sciences degree, and I have it NOW.

I’ve been GUARANTEED A JOB for next year here if I want it, and this seasonal term aligns perfectly with me having the option of going back and finishing part of my degree this winter term.

This company takes safety really really seriously!! They care that I care!! They don’t get annoyed when I request safety measures!!

These people... actually appreciate me and my knowledge. My coworkers love my questions, they love learning the weird facts I know, they see that I’m able to help them if they inform me how, and they’re wonderful teachers. 🥰

Also I get to wear a white hard hat so. Failed apprentice → supervisor/safety monitor. Eheheee.

Some people might say this job is dirty, tiring, too much work, and boring. I can understand their point of view, but also: I’m that weird kid who loves collecting pebbles, catching frogs and fish in mucky bogs, and finds walking in the rain fun. Being paid to sieve sand, incinerate asphalt, arrange gravel by size and shape, smooth perfect concrete cylinders and then proceed to CRUSH THEM UNDER A HYDRAULIC PRESS, test soil compaction with RADIOACTIVITY harnessing machines, and all while learning the intricate details about all this stuff and using utmost safety, is just a flippin’ DREAM. Plus, it’s very satisfying. c:

Anyways, all that is to say: Hi! Quill is still here! They really love the writeblr community, but their real life work is taking a lot of their time and energy right now.

I’d love to pop on every once in a while to interact with you folks again, but we’ll have to see how often I can do that. In the meantime, I see so many writeblr friends are reaching such fantastic milestones!! CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU ALL, QUILL IS SO SO PROUD 💖💕💗

(And though Anchored Souls had been put on hold temporarily, I’m back at it! I’m working on it again!! YAY!)

[firespirited]

Today was derailed (in a good way) I was doing futher desk buying research as the stuff I'm seeing online looks kinda flimsy and M was passing by and goes "hey I don't like my desk, can we swap?" so I spent the day on the floor dismantling desks.

Lily the dog insisted on hazardously getting in the way of any and all furniture moving including a point where we all got trapped in the tiny corridor and had to lift the item and gently kick the dog forwards.

She was furious when I closed the door on my room which could only be navigated like one of those sliding puzzles. Pretty sure she thinks she's the foreman and doing important supervision. I love having her around but she likes to nick dremel bits and screws.

I'm too sore to say if the new desk (it's actually super old) is any better so it'll be a few days but at least it's another size to try in case I buy later. M's happy with mine at least.

The finale of Quantum Leap left us on a vague single sentence cliffhanger. I was starting to enjoy it and the cast but it was only 8 episodes. Hope it gets renewed, the format is great for tuning in to a different story and perspective every week.

Decided to not watch Warrior Nun, I'm burnt out on the binge watch season with cliffhanger episodes. There have been some great ones this year: Midnight Mass and Paper Girls are just the most recent but I remember thinking "oh hey it would actually be more fun-fun and less pushy-stressful-fun to rewatch something like Stargate Atlantis."

I'm thinking about the GdT curated Cabinet of Curiosities or Archive 81, it fits my current taste for the episodic and might have some decent smart horror. I really enjoyed the Monsterland anthology in 2020.

Speaking of, Something In The Dirt from the Benson and Moorehead cosmic horror and very relatable characters universe is out, go see it if you can. It'll be on streaming at the end of the month but I just know it'd be amazing on the big screen. Watch The Endless on netflix if you want an idea of what these two storytelling friends do on a budget.

Will put together small postage and parcel postage posts of baldies and unfinished projects after the second more agressive sweep. Below cost or for trade: black saran, vivid or pastel hq nylon colours, nylon strands for building a swatch, good acrylic paint and medium, new gloss as mine is old and seems to break down a few weeks after painting when I've used watered down paint. Maybe interesting textured or coloured yarns for when I get to be able to do 40 mins an hour at a time. Yikes, We're not even close to rebuilding my lower back yet lol I'm already planning how to get back to creating.

I've talked a lot in the past about how I dislike twitter for how it made me feel and having to navigate back through the quote tweets to get answers feels like in jokes you have to learn (this is a feature missing from mastodon because they believe it promotes dunk/cringe content culture instead of direct communication) . But I hadn't really talked about the fascinating people who used to study twitter, large scale moderation, harm reduction on current events (think 'not naming school shooters guidelines' but for a host of issues). I really hope some of them get hired by tumblr on how to engage hate speech and put them into contact with deradicalization programs, not just nazis but the gender essentialists of the terf, pro choice and red pill types are in cult-like communities.

Love to everyone who's feeling the autumn in their joints and american friends not looking forward to the ungrateful work of making thanksgiving happen. ❤️🌸❤️

[workscounselingcenter]

Normalize Changing Careers

Changing careers, or even considering changing jobs, can come with a plethora of mental health challenges. I get it. It’s scary, amongst other things! In this blog today, I want to share a little bit about my career and mental health journey to (hopefully) contribute to ending any existing stigma in your life around it Most people assume that, because I’m a therapist, I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology. Plot twist: I don’t! I have a Bachelor of Music from Belmont University, with an emphasis in music business. My primary instrument was voice. I also interned for two music publishing companies while in college as well. I graduated in 2017. My first career, part of which included my time in college, was as a creative/songwriter. I released my music, wrote for other artists, and performed. I was pursuing every avenue I could to make a career out of it. By the end of 2018, however, I decided to quit pursuing being a creative in the music industry. Put simply: I loved it, and I still do, but there was a deeper sense of fulfillment that was missing.

I was 23.5 years old at the end of 2018. After reflecting and talking with trusted friends, I decided to pursue plan b: a job in the music industry on the business side. A few months later, I was hired at a global talent agency known as William Morris Endeavor (WME). Essentially, the primary function of a company like that is to route tours and coordinate public appearances for artists. I spent the bulk of 2019 working there in the country music department. I loved my coworkers, and I found what we did there fascinating. However, I had that same deep sense in my gut that there was something else out there.

I went to therapy for the first time in my life in August of 2019, when I was 24 years old. My primary reason was that I was unhappy with my job and feeling very anxious about my career. My therapist, being the brilliant therapist he is, picked up on things I wasn’t even exactly aware of at that time. Plot twist: it wasn’t just about my job, and a lot of other things came out. The short version is: I had a quarter-life crisis of sorts, and several pillars in my life collapsed and collapsed quickly. I left WME at the end of 2019. I was 24.5 years old and lost regarding what I was going to do next in my career. I was also deeply struggling mentally. At 29, I can look back and say that was the hardest time for me mentally thus far.

I took a serving job in January of 2020, and we know what happened a few months later. The world shut down. I was unemployed for roughly two months. Leading up to and during those two months, I honed in with my therapist on processing career options. I had seen a lot of mental health issues within the music industry that were not being talked about enough. I was also increasingly coming into my authentic LGBTQIA+ identity, and I saw the need for more queer therapists. There was more to it than this, including a deep fascination with psychology/neurology, but the short version is that these things led me to take an “educated leap of faith” into being a therapist. Ironically, my therapist was also an ex-music industry person who became a therapist.

I applied to graduate school. A few weeks later, I was stuck at home with Covid-19. It was July 2020, and I hopped on Zoom to interview some of the faculty of the clinical mental health counseling program at my alma mater, Belmont University. It was the worst interview performance I’ve ever had, and I’m so grateful that the staff there saw things in me that I couldn’t articulate in that interview. I got in, and a few weeks later I logged onto my first graduate-level class on Zoom. That was the beginning of my career in psychotherapy. I’ll stop here for the sake of brevity, but the short version is: I found that fulfillment that was missing. I absolutely love being a trauma therapist. Maybe we’ll continue this career-related blog conversation next time.

This blog may read a little “too personal” for a company website- but I wanted to get more personal here, primarily to contribute to ending the stigma around career exploration. It’s more than okay to try multiple jobs/careers, and it’s never too late to switch things up. Take it from a girl who is 29, on her (technically) third career, and will be 31 years old when she finishes her PhD. Lastly, utilize your therapist to help you sort through career-related issues! We are a great resource for career-related issues, as it is so deeply tied to mental health.

Please get in touch. We will be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

[lovethesagefan]

NEVER SAY NEVER!!!

I try real hard not to use the word "never" because once you say it, you will end up doing that thing to which you said you wouldn't do. Well, I fell victim again to it.

Five years ago, I walked down the steps of NCHS, turned in my keys, and swore I would never teach again...unless it was on some college campus.

I had left, probably the only job I ever love, due to uncomfortable attacks by El Diablo and an ailing mother. I will also admit I was burning out. i was out of gas. Removing my AP classes killed my motor.

Five years later found me motherless and living in the land of retirement. Of course retiring early had it perks, it also had its warts. You see, retiring early meant I didn't get my full pension. My expenses were still there. When my mother was alive, she made sure I received a supplement for leaving teaching to care for her. That ended in 2020.

So faced with more money going out than coming in, I looked for a teaching job that would allow me to stay home, not deal with the Horde, and keep my pension. I thought about some of the tutor programs online or teaching English to rich Chinese students. But I love teaching Social Studies! I did apply to the IRS, the last of my employer before I landed that first teaching job in Macon. But nothing was happening and I was hanging on by a thread. Life happens people. You can either sit back and let it swallow you up or you can get up, put on your serious clothes and fight back, even if it meant going back on a "never" situation.

I was once a sub, so I know the drill. Kids act up for subs, unless they have a teacher who put the fear of God in them. Like me! I knew I could sub and keep my pension. Now I also looked at the pay differential if I just walked back into the classroom. I still not quite sure which is giving me the most bang for the buck. Nevertheless, I decided I would do long term subbing on my terms. It would be middle school. I know what people say about middle students. Heck! I probably said most of it out loud myself. I chose not to go back to high school. Man! I love high schoolers. You can have real talk with them about their futures. The activities are there and you see your students through the years. And when they graduate and after the ceremony they come up to you and say "Mr. Norah, thank you for being such a great teacher!" It makes all the nonsense you have to put up with worth it. I am serious. I ran into a former student last week and was overjoyed when she saw me. I was told the student had been so excited to see me.

Middle school was where I really began teaching. I had a great crew in Griffin. Those days I will cherish til the day I die. The students were wonderful. The administration allowed us to try just about anything to raise student achievement. There was where I got most of my "daring". Kids never quite knew what to expect in Mr. Norah class.

So I hatched a scheme. I knew some people who I thought would look out for me. I would be a long term sub. With my certification, I would get much more money than an ordinary sub and keep my pension. I was all set until the county decided place someone in my slot. I could have gone elsewhere, but for personal reason, I owe a great debt that I had to pay. To keep me, I agreed to LT as a DES teacher, same room, same subject. You see, there were a greater issue.

My coming on board was not to just collaborate with the person in my slot. I was to be an anchor for 7th grade. The school had a lot of new teachers. They needed someone who could mold them. There is where I come in. There were 2 new social studies teachers. I mean spanking new. It took me almost 3 years to get a job, these guys are being hired right off the graduation stage. The grade level also needed that force to guide them.

Now believe me, it is not ME who thinks this. I am nothing of the sort. Despite my pleadings, people, students, administrators believe that I am some phenomenal educator along the line of Horace Mann and Mr. Chips. I am no such thing.

I will admit, I love teaching. I got that from my mother. She was always teaching us something whether we knew it or not. When I became a teacher, she would save stuff out of the newspaper whether it was for my grade or not. She saw that I loved teaching more than anything despite the problem I faced. It was in my blood. I was short a year from reaching the magic number of 30. That's when you get the full bag of coins. But now is it that important to get it? It is something that did nag at me over the years. Yes I was retired, but I didn't have 30 years. See other people even in other fields, retiring at 30 years. Plus when I retired, I was 55. I thought people retired in their 60s, got Social Security, and played golf. So what does one do?

Well I tell you. They go back to the one thing they know they can do or at least think they can do. And that is what I did. I returned to teaching via subbing. Now in my position as a DES teacher, I have a subset of students I am charged with being sure their needs are being met through modifications or making sure the child's needs are being served. I have no lesson plans, unless I am teaching, which I am still trying determine my relationship with my co-teacher. It's her room, her rules, and her students with the exception of my charges. As a veteran who always had a collaborative teacher in my class, I know I wouldn't single out the DES students. I would help everyone who ask, but I have to always make sure the DES children are being served.

Today was the first day of school. Kale decided that he wanted, nay, he needed to go out at 4 am, thus breaking my sleep. I get back to sleep but get up late. I slept through two alarms that I set. My fail safe, my sister, couldn't reach me which signaled I was dead to the world. She woke my cousin to wake me up. I got up and was out the door in time. I made it school on time forgetting that every child on God's green earth would be trying to get to school. No close parking for me.. But I made and I was energized like an atomic battery. My new teammates welcomed with open arms. The APs treaded lightly cause they know the wrong word would send Mr. Norah home.

The plan almost immediately went off the rails. The first block went of ok. Then because they needed a teacher in a class, I was the go to person. You see I was the anchor. So I took the job. I was in charge of a classroom of students for the first time in 5 years. I was afraid i had lost my touch, but there was still a little sparkle in hands. I was the entertainer. I told some of my stupid jokes. Students traditionally do not like the first day of school because they may not be with their friends. So I have to work to try to get them to see it will be ok. They can still have fun. Middle schoolers are so different. I played classical music. I talked about the composer and what the music was about. I told them I expected them to graduate. In a way, I told them I cared about them. Now many of them won't here that message, but the seed has been planted.

I am back home. I am told I will have to hold the fort down once again. I am a veteran warrior. I have the scars to prove it. I taught Crack babies of the 90s. I missed the Covid Kids but like a hurricane whose destruction comes in waves upon the shore, so is the problems with Covid. You know are so sweet. I will say what I think as if I am some great educator or philosopher and they are amazed. I am just me. But I digress. In one class, I had to transform back into the teacher because a student was chewing gum. I hate students chewing gum. It's the Faye Dunaway's Joan Crawford hating wired hangers type of hate. It is because kids don't chew, they end up popping it or putting it under desks and table or the floor. So anyway, I told him to spit it out. A few minutes later, he had another piece. Now my 7th grade students knew I was one of the best gum finders in the world. I would catch the best of them. So on the first day, I had to call him out. I called him to the desk and just asked had he lost his mind? I just told him to spit the gum out and he had another piece. I told him if I even have to look at them with a suspicious eye, I will call his parents and no one like getting a parent phone call on the first day! You have to establish the ground rules. Now remember this wasn't my class. LOL! I was just covering it for the day. But these are kids on my team so I would be in contact with them on a daily basis.

On a whole the day was good. My sister said that school was my "happy place." I can't deny that. I think it was something I always knew. Students were my children. They feed me with their successes. Hearing about a student getting married, a new job, or just how happy they are in turn pump me up. I am serious. I can't explain it. These students I count as my own and they know it. Many will hit me up for advice. They may remember sitting in my classroom after school and picking my brain about some issue they are facing. I have children of my own, so I am not a father. But being a teacher, I guess, will have to be close enough.

Thus ends day one of a new journey. I do not know what will come of it. I do not know if I will survive it. Have I lost my touch? Will I jell with this team team whom I do not know? In this new role, can I still be effective? I do know I have made some fast friends who waves at me in the hallway and their face lights up when they come to class. I told myself not to enjoy this. I had the best time in 7th grade Griffin. Nothing can replace that. However, this is different, so don't compare...just enjoy!

[madelineariah]

2023/April 6th - Common Questions

Before I really get into some of what I want to talk about, I think it would be best to help you all get to know me a little better. I want to use this post to answer some of the most common questions I get asked whenever I meet new people. If there are other questions you want to ask me, feel free to leave a reply and I promise I will answer as honestly as I can. So, without further ado, let’s begin.

Q: What is it like being transgender? How did you know, and when did you transition?

A: I first realized I was transgender around the time I was 12 years old. It came about because of an old superstition that if you could lick your elbow, your gender would change. I became fixated on wanting to experience it, and then I stopped and asked myself, “Why do I want to be a girl so much?” The rest is history.

I began living female full-time when I turned 18. I started on estrogen around my 24th birthday, and I got my name legally changed just before my 26th birthday. (Note: Madeline is my real first name; Ariah is not my real last name. Good luck googling me.)

I would say most of the time, I fly under the radar. I pass as a woman nowadays, and people who feel otherwise thankfully tend to leave me be. That said, I have faced a lot of discrimination in regards to employment, healthcare, and the occasional threats of violence. It ain’t easy, but it’s the life I live.

Q: What is with your avatar? Are you really that flexible?

A: When I was younger, I was insanely flexible. However, when I was 14, I had spinal surgery which cut my flexibility in half. I still stretched a lot even after the surgery and could put my ankles behind my head for years. Due to poor health, I am severely out of practice right now. That said, the picture is based on an older photograph of me – from around the time I was 25, if memory serves.

Q: Are you a gamer?

A: I own an Xbox One X (and an Xbox One S). My most played games include “No Man’s Sky,” “Rune Factory 4 Special,” “Cities: Skylines,” “The Crew,” the “Hitman: World of Assassination” trilogy, and most of the “Need for Speed” games (except “Unbound” because I refuse to buy a Series console just for one game). Racing and life simulation games are my infatuation – even when that life may be a bit unorthodox (such as traveling the universe as a space pirate in NMS).

Q: Are you… lewd?

A: No lie, I get asked this a lot due to my penchant for flexibility and skintight outfits. I will be completely honest here: sexuality was a major aspect of the choices I have made throughout my life. You will see that in some of the journal/diary posts that I make. However, the older I get, the more I find myself detaching from that life. There’s just too much pain in the memories of what was and what is now gone. I hope that makes sense.

Q: You mentioned research projects. What are they?

A: I am fascinated by science, technology, and the environment. One of my goals is to do research on new tools that are being created to address things like climate change and resource scarcity. I want to come up with proposals that implement those tools in ways that can help communities which are currently struggling. I will talk in more detail about those projects as time goes by.

Q: Why did you go to college three times?

A: I went to university in September 2011 – shortly after graduating high school. I did a year before my financial aid ran out and I had to return home. I then went to community college from 2013 on so I could get an Associate degree in Social Sciences. It was used to be hired for one job then quickly forgotten about.

Then, in 2021, I decided to go to a different community college to learn CAD/3D Design. Because of the pandemic, I had to do a year online, and then in spring of 2022, I was able to attend classes in person to finish the certificate program I was in.  I wanted to design tinyhomes. I actually have a full design document for a hexagonal tinyhome layout, but I haven’t really been able to do anything with it yet. I am hoping in the future, that will change.

Q: What do you really want?

A: Honestly… I don’t know. I don’t care much for a fancy house or a fancy car. I don’t care much for traveling the world or attending big social gatherings. I question whether romance is the right thing for me. Things that most people spend their whole lives striving for, I am just… lukewarm to. So, maybe y’all can help me figure that out.

I suppose that’s it for now. Like I said, if you wanna ask me anything, my comments are open. Thank you. I appreciate you.

– Madeline Ariah