#where the tags

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

and now it's time to play that ancient game of mine -- moments in my fanfic scribblings that wound up kinda mirroring canon!!

(this is totally just for my own amusement. don't mind me!)

ofmd 204 & 205 spoilers!

this was my fix-it fic that i wrote in a deranged haze the day after 1.09 & 1.10 aired, and then never posted because there were a few small transition scenes in between all the meaty emotional stuff that i was just too lazy to ever finish up. upon rereading, i actually kinda like it and wish i'd finished it though!!! maybe i will one day, and just post it as a historical relic from march '22.

*****

(Ed and Stede meet at last!)

“What’ve you been up to?”

“You haven’t heard?”

“I’ve heard a bit. But I’d rather hear it from you.”

“Oh, you know. Plundering, pillaging, being the punishment this sorry world deserves. That sort of thing.”

“Very neat. And what’s with the–” Stede gestures awkwardly to his own chin.

Ed touches his kohl-painted face. “Wasn’t going to wait for it to grow back in before I got back out there. I’d wasted enough time.”

“Right, yes.” Stede lets out a wistful, slight laugh. “I was starting to get used to your bare face.”

“Really? That’s not what scared you away?”

“I wasn’t scared away.”

“Oh, so you just decided to abandon me for some other reason. That’s great. It feels great, knowing that. Life’s so much better now than it was ten seconds ago. Wait. Fuck.” Ed stands abruptly, shaking the table. “I swore I wasn’t going to do this. I’m fucking Blackbeard, I’m the kraken, I’m hell on waves, I eat babies for breakfast.”

“Oh, Edward.” Stede stares up at him, aghast. “Please tell me you haven’t had a breakfast baby.”

“Obviously I didn’t really,” Ed says impatiently. “It’s just an alliteration thing. It’s the vibes.”

Stede puts a hand to his heart and exhales. “Thank God.”

(okay, with this one i mostly just wanted the breakfast baby joke to finally see the light of day. but there's a slight overlap!)

*****

(Ed and Stede make up very quickly, and then try to make the crew feel cool about that!)

“Hey, Blackbeard.”

“Hey, Black Pete.”

“Oh, it’s just Pete now.”

“Cool, cool. I guess it’s just Ed now, too.”

“Welcome back, Ed. If I could just, uh, say one thing?”

“Sure, mate, what’s up?”

“VENGEANCE!!!” Pete screams, and pushes Ed overboard.

The crew bursts into cheers.

Stede can’t really fault them, all things considered.

“That was just a bit of vengeance for you, babe,” Pete tells Lucius.

“Thanks, babe.”

*****

Once a sopping-wet Ed’s been recovered, there’s the general consensus from all non-Stede crew members that he’s going in the brig.

“We’re really happy for you, Captain,” says Frenchie, “but he’s been a menace.”

“Obviously acting out of deep-rooted pain and some unprocessed childhood trauma,” says Lucius magnanimously. “But all the same, he’s been a massive bitch.”

“I think everyone should get a turn punching him in the face,” says Jim.

“Nobody’s punching anybody!” Stede says, in his clipped captain’s orders! tone. “But you’re right. I’m sorry, Ed; the people have spoken, and the brig it is.”

“No, I get it.” Ed holds up his hands in surrender. “Super fair. And hey, Jim, you can go ahead and punch me if you like.”

“They won’t punch you, they’ve just got hurt feelings–”

Stede is cut off by Jim punching Ed right in the stomach.

Wow. They really don’t waste any time.

“Sucker punch,” breathes Ed through what must be a dizzying amount of pain. “See, I was expecting the face, ‘cause you said the face–”

“Surprise,” says Jim.

****

and this is from a fic i actually posted! [x]

Stede decides to risk getting shot, and puts a hand on his arm. They stand still together. “I wish I’d gotten it right the first time. But this, right now, it’s the next best thing we’ve got. I’ll keep fighting if you want to fight, and I’m pretty sure my crew and I will win our ship back from you and your sorry lot within the week–”

“Pfft.”

“--but while we’re fighting, Ed, just know that I lo–”

But before he can say the words, Ed interrupts. “Nope. Don’t.”

“But I–”

“No.” Ed meets his eyes. “I mean it, mate.”

Stede listens. He lifts his hand from Ed’s arm. “That’s all right. You must know what I mean, if you don’t want me to say it that badly.”

“Of course I want you to say it,” Ed mutters. “That’s the problem.”

“Ah, right. Terrible.”

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

[redsray]

the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?

Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??

Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.

Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.

Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.

[moethh]

praying for your mutuals is honestly so freaking funny

[samgiddings]

@staff @support @engineering @music @books

Have you ever considered this is a really stupid layout to have when there’s no way to easily get your account back if you accidentally hit the wrong button???

[nicecrumbart]

Keep thinking about that one scene in secret life

[the-magnus-protocol]

Tma + tmagp art masterpost

[yesokayiknow]

every single episode with kate stewart is just

kate: oh my god it's my friend the doctor i love the doctor [immediately experiences 40 minutes of intense trauma]

[sydneyadmu]

streaming services are like: please watch our new 8-episode show with original ideas and characters to get you interested!! but if it doesn’t get 84929 trillion views in the first week we will have to cancel it!!

[emberglowfox]

birds of a feather

[iishifishii]

okay but can we talk abt the minecraft movie’s complete erasure of the personality of steve???? like that is not even steve minecraft that is just fucking jack black with a blue shirt on.

have yall have seen the cinematic trailers for mc updates? steve literally has a completely different personality. steve is just a silly lil guy. hes just a curious dude who loves building and exploring! hes not jack black, or a wackjob who went crazy from being isolated for too long. he loves and parktakes happily in the world hes in.

i know we only saw one real scene, but i can already tell that jack black is not going to be playing steve minecraft, he is just going to be playing jack black. its so intensely disappointing when they had the opportunity to employ a new actor to bring to light like. imo steve minecraft should have been cast as just an average looking guy. just some random dude. BC THATS LITERALLY WHAT HE IS.

anyways tdlr the real steve minecraft just simply just a lil guy and he is NOT JACK BLACK

[shepscapades]

Surely this will have no negative consequences whatsoever!

[pcktknife]

she could stand to be a bit more sharky

[rwsdarw]

got sick recently so here sillies

[sanjiaftersex]

Honestly, no one is doing it like Vinsmoke Sanji. He's royalty. He's homeless. He's a convicted criminal. He is a damsel in distress. He's a knight in shining armor. He takes down the Government at 10 am then makes a Bouchée à la reine from scratch at 11. He has the empathy of a buddhist monk in the Himalayas. He will beat up a 90 year old. He has never given a fuck, he cant sleep at night cz of how much he cares. He is a ballerina. He sets his legs on fire. He is a slut. He is a virgin. He is a feminist He is a pervert. He's a fashion icon. He wears Alexander McQueen suits to the beach. He has never known happiness. God has personal beef with him.

[gammija]

nothing personal but this kind of comment rlly exemplifies to me a disconnect between canon and popular fanon jmart characterization because they almost literally had this conversation in canon - except, their lines are swapped!

jon, for all his scared grouchiness, is a secret romantic, while martin, for all his forced optimism, is at his core a pragmatist