#which is a rule ive made up just now bc this is the first time ive had an anon and a non anon at the same time lmao

[wulfhalls]

(im just a movie fan) ik u dont ship them bc u think they could/should end up together lmao but, do u really think paul x jessica is the most plausible incest ship in dune? bc personally as someone whos only watched the movie, it seems like paul, even before everything goes down, has a sort of unease towards his mother and the bene gesserit ways she pushes onto him (idk if im reading it completely wrong, its been a while since ive seen the first movie). and the resentment only increases in the second movie in a way where i wonder if paul will be able to even speak to her without screaming at her in movie 3 lol. although they did have some INSANE chemistry dont get me wrong.

on the other hand, i feel like paul, from the movies at least, has some level of devotion with Leto, and leto obvi loves his son the most in the world. and ive also come across these book excerpts ppl have been posting, and it seems like the paul/leto relationship is even deeper in the books bc from the excerpts it seems that leto makes a point to confide in paul to prepare for dukedom, which is like a responsibility only those two can understand with each other. and then i remember an excerpt i saw where paul is the last memory that leto remembers before his death, which i thought heartbreakingly sweet (does paul gain that memory after taking the water of life?). Paul just loved him soo much the fact that hes starting the holy war bc some part of him just wants his father back its like insane and a lot. anyway idek what i'm saying anymore just that all the relationships in this story are great and rife with potential.

last sentence really sums it up! all relationship dynamics are deeply compelling here! I don't think this boils down to with which parent paul had the objectively "better" relationship with tho. for me pauljessica is more interesting because well first of all we just get more time with them. more time to explore that tension speaking strictly from a movie pov here (because in the books jessica giving leto a son is framed more as a decision made out of love that echos down the millennia even 5k years later and less stemming from her desire to bring forth the kwisatz haderach even tho it certainly is also an element at play) that mary/jesus imagery is just so potent! bearing a son u will lose to the world to his destiny but on purpose!! u did this to him! u made that choice! u wanted to bear the saviour and u did! but he's ur child and u love him u love him more than anything but his path is set and u did this and now what. u prepare him u train him u make him so he'll survive because he is urs and if the world burns? so what? as long as he is alive to rule over it does it matter? the way he was so tender and loving and protective of her pre water of life. that's his mother (and sister)!!!!! the only thing he has left of who he was!!!! his maker (in more sense than one)!! and having jessica emerge as this almost empty vessel for the other memory to flow through. to inhabit with only glimpses of what used to be his mother.......... delicious. he loves her he hates her she is his enemy his only respite his maker and his undoing. I love drama

[marmett]

idk how much anyone else is into the vampire the masquerade lore, and i rlly dont know much bc ive only played bloodlines like, once.

but if i could interest you in wyllstarion vtm AU that han and i came up with.

so cazador would be a very old vampire of the ventrue clan the ventrue are like, the high class, "blue blood" vampires, and they tend to rule as the prince of a city more often than any other clan (toreador is second) cazador would be the city's prince, i think. astarion is ofc one of his childer, and i think even after 200 years, cazador has not granted astarion full status in vampire society, and he probably frequently uses the ventrue mind compulsion on him. cazador would be secretly involved in all kinds of shit ur generally not supposed to be involved in ngl. wyll was raised in an order of vampire hunters (its going to be a made up one bc none of the ones in canon fit, but im just gonna call them the flaming fists bc im unoriginal)

but unbeknownst to him and ulder, the leader of this order, wyll was being stalked by a tremere vampire (mizora) she attacked and transformed him into a vampire against his will. she tried to use blood sorcery and domination to control him. but it didnt work. he managed to escape and now hes on the run.

when ulder sees him for the first time after his transformation, he tells wyll to go and never come back, or theyll all hunt him down and kill him (ulder cant bring himself to kill his own son, and doesnt want to even see him dead) as a new vampire, he has it rlly rough bc he does not conform to any vampire power structure, hes going it alone. while trying to protect humans from vampires. which is like. a really bad fucking idea if u dont wanna be killed. but i think bc of wyll's connection to the flaming fists, and the tremere clan, cazador decides hes rlly fucking valuable, and sends astarion after him to try to bait him into joining them or smth. cazador obviously makes a lot of false promises abt them being vampires who care abt humans, bc they super dont, he just thinks itd be a good idea to have wyll on his side.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Imagine everyone in genshin could physically see when you lag. Collecting some sunsettia then my ping sky rockets to 999 and im frozen for a good minute in the middle of doing an attack 😭

SOB bro ive gotten caught in some DOWNRIGHT SILLY lags before- i would pass away if they saw that

Esp since i get them stuck then just start laughing my ass off 💀

This gif took me out this is so funny 😭 i had to put it here LMAO

I accidentally made Venti jump on top of a Aranara house when I was first exploring Sumeru and did that "flying in the air/jumpin down pose" but just. Through a palm leaf, he's just fluttering in the wind it was painfully ironic 😭

BRO

BRO

Bro.

What if u were isekaied to Genshin but it still has game rules, and so now ur like a character too,

SO U CAN ALSO LAGGGG STOPPP 😭😭😭

I would constantly be omw to the Backrooms 💀

Glitching thru magic shit bc im inpatient and wanna hurry (lagged myself thru some domain steps once)

OH MY GOD-

IF THEYRE AWARE

OF EVEN JUST YOU LAGGING THEIR BODIES

DUDE 😭

So this is unrelated to lag shit, but Ive just done so much silly ass things in game that they would find just as funny or dumb 💀

♤

So, When i first started Genshin I was on some Shit.

I had only rlly played one or two open world games before, and even then not for a long time, so I just like did the stupidest things

I was fighting in those early domains in Mondstadt right, and I had just gotten to the cutscene with Lisa and Traveler, I think thats all who were there

And I had just finished the last battle in the chamber, so I had just deployed Baron Bunny from Amber but killed the monsters before it could go off-

SO IN THE MIDDLE OF LISA TALKING- JUST AN EXPLOSION HAPPENS STAGE LEFT OFF SCREEN AND INTERUPTS HER LMFAO

I LITERALLY APOLOGIZED TO LISA I WAS CRYING LAUGHING SO HARD

(no pls dont make her aware of that for me she would bully me forever)

I FELT LIKE I WAS JUST CAUSING THESE CHARACTERS PROBLEMS RIGHT OFF THE BAT LMAO

◇

And I also didnt know about boss monsters yet (i didnt watch anyone play genshin/know where or what they were lol goin in blindfolded essentially)

So im running around Mond. and I start fighting a Cryo whopperflower for a little while, im not high level yet, and deadass MID SWORD SWING-

I GLITCH THRU A TINY CRACK IN THE ROCKS BC ITS OPEN ON THE TOP RIGHT??!! SO IT WAS JUST SOLID GROUND TO ME AND IM JUST FALLING-??!!

AND THEN I LAND MY ASS THE GIANT CRYO FLOWER REGISVINE AND I STG IT LAGGED AND WAITED FOR A MINUTE BEFORE IT STARTED MOVING LIKE IT WAS CONFUSED TOO-

AND ITS LEVEL IS LIKE IN THE RED

AND THE FALL KILLED AETHER (which I also didnt know could happen 😭TRAUMA) SO I JUST SUDDENLY HAVE AMBER OUT- !!??

BRO THAT WHOLE SITUATION MADE ME THINK I HAD ANGERED THE TINY FLOWER SO BAD IT JUST BECAME HUGE-

I WAS LITERALLY SCREAMING AT MY SCREEN "AMBER FUCK RUNNNN OH GOD AETHER'S DEAD???!! "

BC I WAS LIKE LEVEL 14 VS. ITS LEVEL 36

Talk about an all-knowing creator god 😭😭

Thatd be so embarassing if they remembered that 💀 aether would literally bring it up all the time to get to me

AMBER WOULD PITY ME AND HAVE SYMPATHEY NOO

♧

Then later on in Liyue, theres a chest underneath these guard statues hidden by a bush right? And one of those Geoculus star things too, and i have my compass out trying to find all the Geoculuses(?)

And Im like, " ok towards the statue??"

THEN I JUST PLUMMET- AND I IMMEDIATELY INSTINCTIVELY LIKE, SO HEARTBROKEN AND DISTRESSED SOUNDING "nOPLEASENOTAGAIN- oh, ohhh my godd" my heart was racinggg i literally sighed and I sat there for a minute breathin heavy 😭😭

My team wouldve had a heart attack and field day with me doin shit like that, theyd be like

"This our god? This you?"

Aether has so much blackmail on me 🥲

☆

If I had a mora for everytime I fell on a boss monster in Genshin Impact, I would have 3 mora.

Which isn't a lot of mora, but it's weird that it happened three times.

Cheers,

💀♒️

(we updated the logo bc im stupid and didnt realize i couldve been typing that the whole time)

♡the beloveds♡

Srry figure it was close enough id tag yall anyway

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[ottoslab]

not to be extremely predictable abt the characters i ask abt but do you imagine any of the p7 are still around during or right before the future au? i know they are. Old. but i always am fond of the concept of like the old folks helping out at the camp after pn2.

Im always so very tossed up about how and If the p7 are still around during the aac timeline . But for the sake of “it would be funny if,” I will simply say they Are. (And ramble more about the thoughts ive had about a couple that might Not be and Why under a cut bc its kind of depressing)

Otto will never die and will never leave the Motherlobe much to Hollis and Truman’s dismay. The older he gets the more powerful he gets. He continues to contribute, arguably with increasing efficiency, but as each year passes he gets less and less concerned about getting caught doing things outside of the parameters of Psychonauts rules. “What are you gonna do? Fire me? Lmao” *goes back to working on his death beam that he just made because it was funny.*

I have this hc that at some point Sam makes it her mission to renovate the Lumberstack Diner as the Questionable Area? becomes more profitable over the years. And i think Compton working as a cook there would be a nice little job for him to have while in retirement. Cooking is like the one type of stress he can handle i think. Hes so so scared but in the comfort of something familiar so its less likely to cause him to start blowing things up.

Bob and Helmut deserve a nice little retirement home and I think theyre the primary residents of the Gulch (next to maybe Cassie and Compton?) They supervise (re: sometimes run into and chat with) Raz and his team who have basically taken up their own residence in the Gulch. Perks of being teammates with agent Aquato and Zanotto is that you dont have to resort to dormitories.

I’m not sure what’s up with Cassie! I don’t think she’s doing much either, probably also sticking around the Gulch. Though i think through the support of the others she at least gets Slightly more involved with the Psychonauts or going out into towns to do book signings so that she doesn’t become a complete and total recluse again.

I think Ford and Lucy are out traveling a lot while they’ve still got the time to. Making up for a whole lotta lost time n all that, giving each other time to talk and jazz. They’re not around a lot but they visit often!

Ok. And a very specific less sweet outcome for Ford and Lucy under the cut

When i run through which characters it would be like. Narratively “Best” to have passed away around the AAC timeline, my mind always immediately jumps to these two. Like obviously I think some characters would be more likely to have died before them (looking at you my friend Bob) or ones that could be more impactful in other directions (Cassie and Compton having to learn to exist without one another) but considering their last narrative experiences in Pn2 was finding each other again for the first time in years, it feels like any of those four (Bob, Helmut, Cassie, Compton) passing away would just be a disservice to prior storytelling. And Otto will never die, as I’ve said, so don’t even worry about him <3

I just think a lot about a story in which Ford and Lucy pass on before Raz can ever really reconcile any of his issues he had with either of them. A story in which he’s happy to see them getting along and traveling together, but every time they leave he holds his breath and counts down the days until they make it back and he can guarantee they’re still alive and he goes “This time, this time I’ll say something,” and then he doesn’t because how do you even bring up that conversation after all this time.

And then eventually they pass and it’s almost poetic, really, going at around the same time. But he never got to say anything to them, never got to reconcile and barely got a goodbye. And now he has to learn how to deal with that. How to deal with the fact that they’re still everywhere, in True Psychic Tales issues, on murals, on old pictures, inherently buried in the history of the psychonauts.

And i dont know. I think it’s an interesting story to explore. In a hypothetical real Psychonauts future story, you enter the story with some characters trying to question Raz about something theyre worried about that he always cuts off or dodges before you get to hear, but the lack of any mention of Ford or Lucy is so absent that it’s palpable. Stuff like that.

[k1rameki]

yippee its that time again, long hc post about dalia YAY ‼️‼️ i wouldve posted this last week but a bitch has been busy working on otha projects yo 🫡🫡 im hustling atm

also i am on an absolute ROLL with these rn because its fun to hc stuff for my favs (WHICH BTW IM ALSO WRITING UP MY HCS FOR ALDRYX SO STAY TUNED FOR THAT >:3)

@beans2cheese ik youre currently lookin forward to this >:3 thank you for being patient w me its much appreciated ^_^

first and foremost we gotta get the neurodivergency outta the way bc my autistic ass loves making all my favourite characters nd,, also shes got social anxiety and depression bc i have social anxiety and depression ion make the rules

also bigender she/him dalia bc im a she/him pronoun using bigender and i said so

ive spoken about my deaf dalia hc before (AND CROW HAS A SIMILAR HC WITH TABI THAT WE TALKED ABOUT TOGETHER ON DISCORD) but turning off her hearing aid whenever noise is too overwhelming or whenever she cant be bothered to deal with people's bs

CRAZY HIGH SPICE TOLERANCE. she and ayana are the kinda people who eat ghost peppers for fun and feel literally nothing at all

chronically late to every single outing with his friends. like tell him to get there in an hour and she will use that time to nap and get ready five minutes before shes supposed to be there

taller than ayana but not by much, boots on, dalia's 5'10/11, without em then he's 5'7

competitive as fuck and will rage at you for screwing her over in board games or video games, expect to hear a plethora of curse words in both english and spanish

generally speaking too dalia has an incredibly short temper (which im pretty sure is canon???) and literally anything can set him off

she and aldryx are sparring buddies you cannot convince me otherwise, hes the one teaching dalia all these nifty tricks and such ^_^ (also shes a kickboxing pro no questions asked)

once dalia tried b-boying to impress ayana and ended up in the hospital with a dislocated shoulder and a bruised ego

🔻: "babe????? are you okay 😭"

🎧: "psshh im fine the sigma grind never dies" (said dalia as she looked away cringing at herself for flopping that so hard)

and trust me, nobody was letting her live that down

has special nicknames for all her loved ones ^_^ they're either something really sweet and sentimental or incredibly fucking stupid

emoticon user!! over text dalia loves using those cute kaomojis (trust me thats not the energy she gives off around other people especially not her close friends)

has a lot of niche interests and will reference something that either nobody knows like AT all or that is something so embarrassingly unfunny that its painful to listen to

🎧: "damn this greedler fanart goes crazy"

📼: "the WHO NOW"

she has the WORST sense of humor ever. literally anything is making this mf laugh

when dalia and ayana first started dating she made an attempt to keep up this persona of just being incredibly suave and chillgoing but the moment aya kissed her for the first time dalia just fucking melted and turned into a complete dweeb right then and there (she looks back on it and is very embarrassed)

OH AND SPEAKING OF HER AND AYA,, café or shopping dates where they just get food and wander around town together not wanting the day to end, bonus if they stay out late and theres a light display going on outside (boy im boutta make ship hcs for them now hold awn im insane)

[entering--hyperspace]

Dragons, and the influence the Faerûn Pantheon has (or rather, does NOT have) over them. And how it relates to my tav

I've been thinking about how much the gods of dnd actually play a role within bg3, and kinda how having a True Dragon (albeit at first unknowingly) influences the story just a bit because of what he is.

To get started, Dragons have their Own Pantheon, assuming we are not ruling out pre-5e lore entirely. Bahamut and Tiamat are the most well known of course, they are also included in the Faerûn pantheon, so I won't be talking about them too much.

What I'm mostly concerned with are the two defying aspects (Life, Death, and fate) seeing as Withers is very obviously Jergal, and how The Dead Three (along with Vlaakith and Mystra) are all within bg3 in some way.

The Most Influential Dragon god is Asgorath/Io, the originator. He is briefly mentioned by Lae'zel within bg3 in a throwaway line. Known as the Ninefold Drgaon, Asgorath influences the fates of all dragons

There is also Chronepsis, Dragon god of Fate, Death and Judgement. A multi aspected god who may also be known as Null.

Now, to have a Dragon be put into the center of conflict of a story is rare indeed, which is why I like Págos so much. Dragons are often treated as mounts, villains, bosses, or otherwise just out of reach wells of knowledge one party may encounter only to move on with their lives.

It's special in the sense of bg3 because you are dealing with a Lot of Faerŭn gods, but in my canon bc Págos is a dragon none of these gods have Any actual influence over him? Dragons are outside of their jurisdiction unless specifically asked for their help by them. They have no hand to mold their clay, that is for their own gods. This is what makes Págos such an anomaly, because that is essentially what he is in bg3's story...An Anomaly.

Págos is from the ancient past frozen in time and wound up in the present. His fate is guarded by his own gods, leaving the faerûn pantheon to simply watch what is essentially a wild card wander into what could be a world-ending conflict. Withers mentions this, for being a god watching over fate and death, he had no insight into Págos which made dealing with him unsettling at the very least. In my head Elminster also mentions this to Gale as a forewarning about Págos from Mystra, Vlaakith knows this and becomes even angrier not just because of Lae'zel going against her, but because lae'zel is traveling with a companion that makes the entire situation much more dangerous for her, Same with Shar. It is why raphael tried so desperately to get págos into a contract with him. The stakes are higher with a glitch in the system, outside of their control and outside of their influence. Not to say they couldn't hurt him of course, they could they're gods, but its with the knowledge it isn't as simple as smiting someone when a greater power has placed them there, when doing so creates a plethora of problems than it would if págos was simply another mortal. I just think its all very funny. Its also my reasoning why they dont just directly influence him or the game outside of whatever reasoning is already provided.

And also, as a little side note about how ive been having so much fun with him as a character...its kinda like i said before. Dragons in dnd are incredibly powerful, knowledgeable, otherwordly PEOPLE. They are PEOPLE, they are highly intelligent (moreso than the mortal races) and can outlast civilizations...but they are never treated as such, a product of being a game npc. Dragons are regulated to side characterss, npcs, animals, threats, mounts, but never really delving deep into their own personhood. Never the heroes of a story...until now! Thats why I like Págos so much! Because I get to play with How a dragon actually interprets life and emotion differently. I get to delve deeper into lore like this, I get to play with a dragon interacting with others not as this outside influence but as a friend, as their ally. Especially with him being a chromatic dragon its doubly important since chromatics are often just considered evil and are more likely to be treated as animals despite the fact they are just as capable as their metallic counterparts. Anyway I just think its fun! Thanks for coming to my Tav ted talk.

[cerealmonster15]

a bit of both- I was too scared to go off anon cuz I would've been embarrassed if I was wrong 😭

They INVENTED divorce. You get it.

And I DONT MIND YOUR THOUGHRS ARE SO SILLY!! pls invitation to come back on stage and scream about the guys ever 🥺

ksjdlfdsklfj I Understand 🙏 i hope it is ok that i took this message as an excuse to Continue Going Wild

head empty only tiny guy doodles now

while i was doodling i remembered ruggie and silver both have a vignette with jade where Food Is Involved... im obsessed w/the one where jade gives his mushrooms to the cafeteria bc azul and floyd banished them, and silver has them the next day and is like This Is The Best Risotto Ive Ever Had In My Life. and jades just watching him like 👁️👁️ and theres the one where ruggie accidentally takes jades ingredients and is like OH SHIT DONT KILL ME here i'll teach you a cool recipe!!!! i love how often these boys bond over food actually.... ruggie helped kalim cook in another vignette... jade and kalim talked about tea [and then jade died bc kalim uses too much sugar LOL]

more rambling and screen shots i have to go bonkers or i will die

oh my god and the second tsum event. theres the cutest little rythmatic of jamil kalim floyd and azul in the kitchen with tsums 😭😭😭 i want the second years to have a potluck........

ALSO i love in the first volume of the twst anthology, chapter 13 where it basically turns into the second years coming together and trying to help silver stay awake and hanging out EXCEPT THE FISH ARE NNNNOT INVITED!!! or like. theyre just not in that story fdslkjfds and jamil just shows up at the end..

KALIM'S SO CUTE HE'S SOOOO EXCITED He just JUMPS IN like OH DID SOMEONE SAY FRIENDSHIP STUDY GROUP???????

also

why did he do that. he was talking about riddle and they literally got riddle involved bc ruggie suggested it but here's the thing!!! silver is the one that needed notes bc he fell asleep. kalim joined up and was like lets study together and have a feast!! so ruggies like oh hell yea im in it for the food. why did he decide riddle needed to be there 🤔 i mean maybe he did actually want to study and/or didnt wanna be the one suckered into leading the study session LOL but. i think it kinda just looks like he wants to hang out with riddle jflsjeklkj like he literally later says "but im here for the feast" so WHY did you get RULES ABIDING RIDDLE involved HMMM??? watching you ruggie bucchi.

theyre literally SO cute i LOVE the anthology mangas SO MUCH and i really wish they'd make a third one!!!

god i actually. forgot a lot about this one LOL there's a lot of cute moments w/them 😭

ALSO now that im at my computer i could search better and i FOUND THE POST where i talked endlessly about riddle/floyd. i still stand by all of that. and theres cute anthology moments in there too.

third year divorce jumpscare while im in the anthologies

i love them theyre so fucking funny. also why are there So Many Times in game where vil basically says "yeah leona is extremely physically attractive HOWEVER his personality sucks and i hate him." like okay. why do you have to keep telling us that leona has a "pretty face" or "only good for his looks" or whatever it is he says fjsdkljekl. that's nice vil.

pushing them back out of the way back to the second years

and trey. im still trapped in the anthologies since thats whats in front of me klfjlewjsdfjkls god the way this one takes place after jamils meltdown and hes like "omg trey senpai....... and jade 😒........" Get His Ass sdfdsfg god i dont have a screenshot rn but another top 10 moments of twst for me that made me cry laughing was when i was reading cater's union bday card and jamil asks him that interview question "which dorm would you pick if you werent in heartslabyul" and god the TIMING with cater saying octavinelle INSTANTLY making jamil SCOWL IN DISAPPROVAL at the SHEER MENTION OF THE FISH BITCH DORM is SO funny to me. EW. GROSS. DISGUSTING!!! i so badly want riddle and jamil to bond over their mutual fish hading sjdklfe theyre SO FUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

and yet in masquerade event. jamil bullies azul. azul buillies him back. they DANCE TOGETHER IN BOTH OF THE RHYTHM GAMES. theyre DUO PARTNERS to azuls ssr. riddle and jamil compliment [more or less LOL] azul's singing performance at the end. i think once or twice riddle and jamil also share a few 😑😑 moments over azul... being azul jdkslfjkdsljf and it's EVERYTHING TO ME it was so validating bc i think those three should hang out forever.

OK THAT'S ENOUGH DISORGANIZED RAMBLES FOR NOW I GOTTA CONTAIN MYSELF!!!

[effervescentdragon]

Hi, I hope this isn't too random, but you seem like a good person to ask for fic recs. Ignore this if it's too much of a bother, but if not what are your favorite Seb and or Charles-centric fics? Hope you're having a good day :D

Hello dearest anon! Thank you so much for asking me this and giving me a way to decompress after my exams, and also, thank you for trusting in my taste about my favorite vroom vroom boys <3 I will put the recs under the cut, because it's going to get long. Many (if not all) of these are slash fics, and most of them will probably be Sebchal (because I am trash about them), but I'll include pairings and some details, but please mind the tags and warnings in fics :) also these are the ones I remembered off the top of my head rn after 2 exams (read: fics that live in my head rent free all the time)

-

sebchal/cheb fic recs first!

an evolutionary theory of the soul by Anney

sebchal soulmates au. my absolute favorite, one of my ultimate comfort reads, the most perfect thing i've read and one of the first ones i've ever read. i re-read it often, and it also contains links to the moments described in the fic, so i use it for research (and comfort) on top of it all <3

Down in the Depths We Make Our Home by my dearest @antimonyandthyme

a pacific rim au that made me almost miss roc22 race because i was so invested in it, i couldnt even stop reading it. pacific rim is one of my all time favorite movies, and this is just. so, so bloody beautiful. athy is a master wordsmith, and this fic is. i don't know how to describe it. transcendental. ephemereal. everything. <3

here comes the sun by the lovely @wdcseb

aka the fic ive read probably top 3 most times out of them all. sometimes i go and just read that japan part and melt and die all over. seb comes back as ferrari's team principal after retiring. charles still drives. idek where to start with how wonderful this fic is. i can quote half of it by now. <3

Everything I do, I'm gonna think of you by @misonikomi

beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. seb still races, but charles is a disillusioned model. its such a lovely story of acceptance and of two different worlds crashing, but not really. it has some of my favorite descriptions, and seb's character is wonderfully done throughout. also, there is a sequel from charles' pov, which is equally lovely. i reread it a lot.

With you I'm in real danger by wonderful @jean----ralphio

seb sells antique books in Monaco. charles is a pornstar. i am IN LOVE with this. the way their rl personalities and issues apply to how they are in this au is magnificently written and just all around amazing. also, very hot :)

postcards from places that miss you by @streetlightsky

i screamed about this fic so much, like so so much. the postcards have one of the best confrontation scenes ever. the showing and not telling really comes through here, and it just. it makes me feel happy whenever i read it.

all of these authors have other fics that you should definitely check out, but these are my favorites by each of them! all of these are also completed bcs I rarely bother with unfinished work, but there is a wip i follow religiously: To be wild, to be free by anonymous author (if you by any chance happen to read this, i adore your fic <3!), where in a twist of fate or magic or whatever, Charles wakes up and Seb is young, and only starting his F1 career as a rbr driver :) and nobody remembers older Seb except Charles. i've re-read what's published like. 5 times so far or sth, i love it so much.

for seb-focused fics, the first, ultimate, and only fic that comes to mind is dearest @kritischetheologie 's Everybody Wants To Rule The World, which is a NicoR/Seb fic and has some of the absolute best characterisation of Seb i've ever seen. it made me so feral, i couldnt write anything for a week because it took over my brain and every time i thought of anything else, i just couldn't. i adore it <3

i will also self-promote here, because my first foray into f1 rpf was a seb-focused fic Red Gods of Old, which is a 2nd person pov magical realism diary entry that focuses on seb in ferrari :)

honorary mention to my ultimate comfort sewis fic I've Got You by @loveyouhomex which made me cry with how perfect it is, and i've only read it twice, because it devastates me in the best way out there. it spans their whole acquaintance in f1, and its so, so beautiful.

there is another wip i follow, which really explores sebs character in a fascinating way, and the self deprecation we've all witnessed, transformed through the superpower au. it's a simi fic by @creampuffjiggle called Six Feet From Ice and i am entranced by it! tho i did binge read it just as the last chapter published turned out to be a hearbreak <3 wholehearted rec!

for charles-focused fics, there are so many lovely ones in the pierre/charles tag on ao3, though most of them are extremely angsty. the ones that i love, and that come to mind instantly are these:

whatever our souls are made of (his and mine are the same) by empireofclouds - a soulmate au with heavy mythologizing that i fucking ADORE;

 hopefully, one day you will love me back by @sebchalex - where monaco gets kicked out of eu and pierre and charles marry and somehow still pine over each other;

If I were proper, I’d have a chance; not with you, but somebody else by @deepdowninshipperhell - an a/b/o which i literally have open on my phone at all times for comfort because its just perfect.

in the end, i will include my own fics here too, because first of all why not, and second of all i do write about seb and charles most often :)

Monaco - sebchal, monaco gp 2022 as it shouldve been;

Taller In Another Dimension - piarles, montreal 2022 date as i choose to believe it went;

By The Same Blade - sebchal, magical realism ft hanahaki disease 5+1.

thank you so, so much for asking anon, i love you for this <3

[watchyourbuck]

20 questions for fic writers!

tagged by @wikiangela @thewolvesof1998 & @lover-of-mine thank you guys!!!🥺🫶🏼

How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 14, although it certainly feels like more bc i have compilations of drabbles

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

I have 111.881 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

As of right now, I'm only writing for 911, but I used to write for spn, suits and the mcu. the only one of those i see myself going back to is spn, the others are long gone obsessions.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(the ones that arent linked are bc i dont really like them anymore). Louis' Little Word Play (Pair: Marvey form Suits). Dangerous Posession (MCU). To fall for a stark (MCU). A Night to Remember (Pair: Marvey from Suits). I'll Guide You Through (Buddie).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, I respond to them all! Im pretty sure ive missed some along the years tho.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i feel like i have only one with an angsty ending and its bc i used to think they all had to have a happy ending dfghjjhgfg anyway, its my latest one Not your fault (but mine)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Its an MCU one, they end up getting married lmao.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

sometimes but its not a lot. sometimes id write something unrealistic within the rules of the AU and they would criticize me but i usually just took it as cc.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes ma'am, a lot LMAOO. I have written pretty much anything, including watersports (which are not my thing but i had it as a request). Only thing ive never written is r*pe or cnc, and skat. no thank uuu.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i dont believe i have. i wrote a foursome once but they were all from the same world.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not a fic per se, but an idea.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! One time to russian and one time to spanish. i felt really authory FGHJHGH. literally felt like i had made it lmaoo.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I had a big project with one of my mcu friends from back in the day but we never did it.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

i think destiel and buddie. they’ve been my roman empire.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

It was a high school AU for the mcu. i loved it so, but i dont really enjoy the mcu anymore and i just dont have it in me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think im very good at descriptions of both place and thoughts. i feel like i used to be really good at smut bc i would write so much of it lmao. i hope i still got it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing something, for once. wrapping up is also really hard. happy endings that dont feel like a low budget romantic movie (im a rejection-aro bro lmao).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Well spanish is quite easy bc its my mother language. other than that, if its not one of the 8 i speak, then i wouldnt feel comfortable unless i have someone fluent helping me (not google).

19. First fandom you ever wrote for?

i wanna say spn (destiel) but i never posted it bc it wasnt very good (i was 15 and my english wasnt as good as it is rn), but i did end up posting a destiel fic this year (my first!): The way it should've been

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

okay so my favorite fic so far is the Prince AU (buddie), which i havent finished nor posted. i literally have written 2 chapters of it but its just... my baby. now posted posted i think its the one i just linked in the prior question. i just love the way i portrayed each of the character's thoughts.

tags! (no pressure tho): @housewifebuck @eddiebabygirldiaz @eddiediaztho @forthewolves @fortheloveofbuddie @butraura @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @fionaswhvre @wildlife4life @disasterbuckdiaz 💗✨

[hella1975]

Same playlist anon, I can’t wait until more of tams rolls out and you can explain them all in order and everything, I love hearing your explanations for taob songs. If there’s any in tams that can be explained so far or any in taob that you haven’t gotten to yet 👀👀 let’s hear em if you want. Also! The depollute me playlist has essentially become my spring playlist, I listened to it last April and again now and I know I found your taob playlist in spring 2021 and I think this one around the same time, whenever you had made it. It’s just light spring vibes idk, it was completely accidental so far but I love it

ACH I JUST LOVE HEARING THAT PEOPLE LIKE MY PLAYLISTS AND ACTIVELY LISTEN TO THEM IT'S ONE OF MY FAVE COMPLIMENTS TO RECEIVE I GIGGLE AND BLUSH EVERY TIME <3333 i will gladly go through the tams playlist as best i can. here we go!

first part of this is going to be songs that got added for Vibes, aka they're just there because i think they feel very tamscore but you dont need to analyse the lyrics for any deep meaning and/or foreshadowing (bc i absolutely do put songs on playlists purely for foreshadowing in the hopes someone will see it and be unnerved hehe). there's some here where the lyrics ARE relevant, but it's either very surface level or doesn't really need much comment on it, so typically a lot of these carry themes of caretaking and sacrifice etc:

mary on a cross by ghost

everybody wants to rule the world by tears for fears (this is very atla coded anyway)

something in the orange by zach bryan

mind over matter by young the giant

soldier, poet, king by the oh hellos

no one won the war by matt maltese (!! heavy on this one)

come over by the crawlers

cleopatra by the lumineers

somewhere only we know by lily allen

meet me in the woods by lord huron

the view between villages by noah kahan

house of the rising sun by the animals (fun fact the most recent chapter was named 'bc rising sun has connotations of new beginnings etc etc' but mainly it's bc ive associated this song so strongly with tams that it wound up sneaking in)

tous les memes by stromae

mad world by tears for fears (why is tams zuko so tears for fears coded)

americano by lady gaga (for the more badass moments. they are feral)

9 to 5 by dolly parton. i am very funny

abraham's daughter by arcade fire (THE VIBES???)

california dreamin by the mamas and papas

the borders by sam fender

american pie by don mclean (this is quickly becoming THEE tams song in my head)

which leaves us with the below songs that are all on there for a specific Reason whether it be some lyrical analysis or some connection i have to the songs. if you're curious about any, please send an ask with the individual song bc id love to talk about it :) but in the interest of keeping this response at a reasonable length im gonna cut it off here lol:

rivers and roads by the head and the heart

waiting room by phoebe bridgers

evelyn evelyn by evelyn evelyn

down the river by the crane wives

scott street by phoebe bridgers

fine china by lana del rey

come by adrianne lenker

house song by searows

eleanor by cake bake betty

brother by cake bake betty

fourth of july by sufjan stevens

leader of the landslide by the lumineers

wicked game by chris isaak

the moon will sing by the crane wives

evergreen by ricky mitch and the coal miners

blood orange morning light by andrew montana

a better son/daughter by rilo kiley (!!)

bust by lomelda

the gold by phoebe bridgers (!!)

safe and sound by taylor swift

white blank page by mumford and sons

sick in the head by the lumineers

the cave by mumford and sons

dust bowl dance by mumford and sons

my tears ricochet by taylor swift

no surprises by radiohead (!!!!!!)

because dreaming costs money, my dear by mitski

slipping through my fingers by abba

ozymandias by sammy copley

[pub-lius]

Goreg Washesaton for richie my beloved

so you may have noticed that this ongoing series of my research of "every historical figure" (/t) for @thereallvrb0y has been on pause for a few weeks and thats bc ive been STRUGGLING to find the rest of them, and i cant. so if anyone needs information on those people, i might just post the bullets from my notes bc im not doing all that work again FKSFKSH they still exist somewhere within my 3000 posts, but i cannot find them bc tumblr sucks <3 anyway, now for

George Washington (pt one)

Georgie was born at his family's plantation, Popes Creek, in Westmoreland County, Virginia, on February 22, 1732, a date that I have memorized for some reason when I don't even have my dad's birthday memorized (sorry dad). His parents were Augustine and Mary Ball Washington. Augustine was a very prominent plantation owner in the area, and also a justice of the county court, so he was a big deal. His first wife, Jane Butler, died and left him with two sons, Lawrence and Augustine Jr., and their daughter Jane.

George was the eldest of the kids from the second marriage. His other siblings were Elizabeth, Samuel, John Augustine, Charles, and Mildred.

The family eventually moved to another one of their properties, Little Hunting Creek, which would become Mount Vernon. They moved again four years later to Ferry Farm.

Augustine Sr. died when George was 11, leaving most of his property to the eldest sons from the first marriage. The remaining income maintained Mary and her children, and George would have been responsible for helping manage their plantation.

George never received a formal education since the funds for that were used on his older brothers. He only received instruction from private tutors. He would have studied reading, writing, basic legal forms, geometry, trigonometry, manners, penmanship, and comportment. I already made a post about his rules of civility, which was a big part of his education.

Mount Vernon, where I got most of my sources from on Washington, of course, has a lot of information on slavery, but I'm not really qualified to talk about all of that since I think it deserves its own separate research, but here's the link for that.

The Washingtons were, however, deeply entangled in the global "institution" (that phrasing makes me uncomfy, it sounds like a business yk). Washington inherited 10 enslaved people from his father, and went on to "inherit/purchase/rent/gain control of" more than 500 enslaved people.

Washington expressed racist sentiments up until the Revolutionary War, which greatly changed his perspective on the definition of liberty and who it applies to. He expressed wanting to free the enslaved people he was responsible for, but couldn't because of the backlash it would cause from him being an international celebrity. He would end up freeing the 123 enslaved people he was able to in his will (that's a whole complicated legal system designed to keep people and their families enslaved for as long as possible and it's honestly exhausting).

Anyway, back to the white people history. Washington got his first job as a surveyor, and it was the only thing he got formal training in. In the mid-1740s he got two surveying jobs (one of which was for a They were going to lay out lots within a large tract along the western frontier of Virginia, and into indigenous territory. He learned more surveying and gained important knowledge of the frontier (*foreboding dramatic movie sound effect*). At the end of the first day, he was shown "a bed of straw with one Threat Bear blanket with double its Weight of Vermin such as Lice Fleas etc. (sic)" He made a promise "not to Sleep so from that time forward chusing rather to sleep in the open Air before a fire. (sic)" This experience ended up being very important to him and getting him out of that cushy rich kid life (*another foreboding dramatic movie sound effect*)

His professional career began in 1749, and recieved a commission for the new Culpepper County (*insert Turn: Washington's spies theme song*), which was probably by the recommendation of Fairfax, who was working on the Governor's council. By 1752, he had completed nearly 200 surveys, totaling more than 60,000 acres. Honestly, I think that if he lived his entire life as just a surveyor, he wouldn't have gone gray in his 40's.

in 1753, Governor Robert fucking Dinwiddie that was this man's NAME in REAL LIFE learned that French troops had moved south from Canada to construct forts in the region south of Lake Erie, which was declared British territory. The area had commercial potential, and Dinwiddie was concerned that the French would fortify the forks of the Ohio River. So, he sent Washington, who was a major in the Virginia militia, to deliver a diplomatic eviction notice to the French in 1753. If that date sounds familiar its bc Georgie is about to have a few major fuck ups that you learned about in middle school. This was known as the Allegheny Expedition, but I have never called it that. It is and will always be the Ohio Eviction.

The expedition was aided by Christopher Gist and local indigenous people. They were escorted by O-non-dowa-gah (also known as Seneca) chief Tanacharison, two Haudenosaunee (Iroquois), and one from the Lenape (Delaware Nation).

This trip was rough. During the trip, Washington hiked for days through snowy woods, fell off a raft into the icy Allegheny River, nearly drowned, and had to spend a freezing night on an island without shelter on the 900 mile journey. I hate to say it, but this dad could beat up your dad. They reached Fort Le Boeuf on December 11, thank fuck. Washington's account was published by Dinwiddie in Williamsburg and London, giving him a reputation at the age of 22.

Despite all that effort, the French just ignored them lmao, bc like what's this little freak gonna do??? So, Dinwiddie dispatched Washington, now a Lieutenant Colonel to assert Virginia's claims a few months later with around 150 men.

They ended up skirmishing with French soldiers on the way, and killed 10 men, including the French commander, Joseph Coulon de Villiers, Sieur de Jumonville. The English under Washington (that's fun to say) retreated to a makeshift fort called Fort Necessity. Washington was forced to surrender when the French surrounded the fort with their indigenous allies. In those surrender terms, Washington accidentally admitted to assassination. This was the start of the French and Indian War, or the Seven Years War for my European fanbase (im so funny).

Washington resigned after that bc his dick was small and he was embarrassed. But, don't worry, his dick regrew and he returned to the frontier in 1755 to serve as a volunteer aide-de-camp (foreshadowing) to General Edward Braddock, who was kind of serving. Braddock had been sent from the King to drive the French from the Ohio Country.

A battle started near the Monongahela River (none of these places have easy names). There was a lot of confusion and troops fled in confusion back to Virginia. Washington was attempting to rally the troops, and had two horses shot out from under him and four bullets shot through his coat. Also Braddock died whoops.

Washington was given command of Virginia's entire military force. He was ordered to protect the entire 350 mile long frontier with a few hundred men, bc everything that happens to this man is fair. This provided him with very necessary experience in commanding troops in stupid ass situations. Eventually, the British took the forks of Ohio in 1758 and Washington retired.

He married our iconic queen Martha on January 6, 1759 and they kissed a lot. He spent 1759-1775 overseeing the farms at Mount Vernon. He constantly worked to improve and expand the mansion and surrounding plantation.

During this time, he established himself as an innovated farmer. In the 1760s, he switched from tobacco to wheat as his main cash crop. He experimented with new crops, fertilizers, crop rotation, tools, and livestock breeding. He actually had some hot takes, but I'm literally the only person who cares bc that shit is actually boring (in case you were wondering, chicken shit doesn't make good fertilizer).

He also expanded the planation to include flour milling and commercial fishing. THEN he built a gristmill, and then began making whiskey, producing over 11,000 gallons of rye whiskey at its peak. Mf slayed.

This era is referred to as the golden years, which I mentioned in Martha's post and everything is wonderful and fine and Washington is happily retired with his family :)....

SIKE time for part 2

[scoupsahoy]

pretty brave of me to post something to ao3 with a title that is not exactly fit to the rigid pattern i have accidentally been following

dumb little ocd talk under the cut bc it's 5am and ive been thinking about this for 2 days now

like. funny haha but sometimes my ocd latches onto the silliest little patterns and then refuses to let me stray from it. on a different account i have 13 fics whose titles start with the letter i (in some way or another-- i did a little workaround that my brain accepted with parentheses) because i happened to have two in a row that started with the letter i and for some reason was like: now you have to do this forever

or like at work last week i had to make some calls and i noticed after the first three that it would take me 4 minutes between each call to document. so then for the rest of them i had to take 4 minutes exactly just in case. not sure what the case would be, but i was too anxious to find out?

i always blamed my weird little things on the fact that i come from a very superstitious family. which i do. and also because some of my ocd things are silly. like the naming conventions in my fanfiction or when i have to spin around because i decided that i had wound myself up.

when i was like learning about ocd in school there was a lot of focus on the obsessions part of it, which are also obviously important, and i kind of thought i didn't have it because i've only ever been aware of my compulsions? because they're really frequent and like. pervasive. undoing an action. spinning around because i'm facing the wring way. un-touching something. picking at my skin. pulling at my hair. following patterns that i made up. but the obsession with them was never "or else Something Deeply Bad is going to happen" it's more like. i'm holding a gun to my head and i'm saying "do it or else.". or else what? idk

the only time i noticed my obsessions for a long time are in my intrusive thoughts but those never felt like they were attached to my compulsions either, just that they were always there and i had to ignore them. it wasn't like i felt like having my car radio on a multiple of 5 would prevent me from driving my car into the other side of the road. it's like every ten seconds or so i'm like "oh my god i'm going to drive my car into the other side of the road" and if the radio isn't on a multiple of five, those ten seconds go down to like. two seconds.

thats just an example. idk. when my anxiety gets bad my ocd gets bad because it's a fucking anxiety disorder. and sometimes the rules are silly for no reason. but i managed to title a stranger things fic that didn't follow the naming convention of "a lyric from a song that existed at the time the story takes place". very silly, ryan

[fictionz]

Nog from DS9 and Jimmy from BCS

Nog and Jimmy are two sides of the same coin. Both are natural negotiators, gifted with the instinct for tuning into someone's needs and selling them what they didn't realize they needed. They are self-driven and hard-working members of their communities with singular ambition, a desire to achieve more than their forebears. They are both motivated by seeing their fathers struggle and fail in a game that they were never interested in playing. They've witnessed how the injustices of an uncaring universe can crush the spirit of people with good intentions and too forgiving a nature. And unlike their peers and mentors, they have both become experts in the rules of their systems and are willing to bend the rules to varying degrees in order to achieve their goals.

The difference between Nog and Jimmy is that Nog was loved and supported not just by his family, but by the extended community around him. Nog made mistakes and was given the opportunity to correct his course, an opportunity which Jimmy may have also received but ultimately squandered. While Nog's father was always supportive and proud of him, Jimmy's brother faded out of his life, and when Jimmy's circumstances led him to ask for his brother's help he was only permitted to be part of his brother's life as a subservient participant, precisely the role their father played and which Jimmy loathed. So Jimmy, desperate for his brother's support and approval, put in the work and achieved his ambition, only to see his brother continue to reject him for bending the rules too much and failing to meet his expectations. Nog's way of doing things within his organization was sometimes more flexible than they were comfortable with, but the trust of his peers and his father was never in question.

All of which is to say that I like the character of Nog, I have from the first time I watched Star Trek Deep Space Nine. His journey over the course of that series is my favorite aspect of the show. Watching Better Call Saul, I see those same traits, of someone who perhaps isn't naturally suited for the role but strives to improve and really wants to do something more than what he's been led to believe is his limit. But I know, both from that character's actions as a tertiary figure in Breaking Bad and his protagonist turn in BCS, that this is not a person I can root for. But I wonder when I took that turn, as the viewer, to decide to support Nog and condemn Jimmy. While there are signs (and much supporting material in the ST literary universe) that Nog will ultimately turn out to be a well-respected captain and leader, how did he get there? What mistakes might he have made on the road to his ambitions? Why is one character more deserving than the other? I wonder.

I'll end with some key monologues from each character. Something to ponder after my umpteenth rewatch of Deep Space Nine and in the waning days of Better Call Saul.

Nog explains his reason for wanting to join Starfleet in “Heart of Stone”:

My father is a mechanical genius. He could've been Chief Engineer of a starship if he'd had the opportunity. But he went into business, like a good Ferengi. The only thing is, he's not a good Ferengi, not when it comes to acquiring profit. So now all he has to live for is the slim chance that someday, somehow, he might be able to take over my uncle's bar. Well, I'm not going to make the same mistake. I want to do something with my life. Something worthwhile. ... I may not have an instinct for business, but I have my father's hands and my uncle's tenacity. I know I've got something to offer... I just need the chance to prove it.

And Jimmy explains why he deserves to be reinstated as a laywer in “Wiedersehen”:

Listen, growing up... becoming a lawyer was the last thing on my mind. Even if I wanted to, I didn't have the smarts or the skills... or the "stick-to-it-iveness." But I happened to get a job with some attorneys... and I couldn't help but think, "Maybe I could do that?" And something inside me made me wanna try.

Now, listen: my diploma says the University of American Samoa Law School. And that's exactly what it sounds like, that's a correspondence school. I wish it said Georgetown... or Northwestern. But UAS was the only one that would take me. Because, let me tell you, I wasn't a natural. I mean, the classes, the studying, trying to pass the bar? Practically killed me. I must have quit 10 or 12 times... but I kept coming back to it. And I'm really glad I did. Because when I got to work with actual clients... there was nothing else like it. Our legal system is complicated, and sometimes it could feel capricious... but it's the closest thing to real justice that we've got. And for it to work, it needs vigorous, passionate advocates. Helping my clients, you know... arguing on their behalf... that's the best thing I've ever done. And this past year... I've missed the hell out of it.

[soulrph]

hiya! ill tell you now that this ask isnt rp related so feel free to ignore it, i just... kinda have no one to talk to about it, but i can feel it festering in me and id like to spare myself the emotional breakdown. i hope that doesnt guilt trip you into continuing. anyways, recently i deleted my tumblr blog for several different reasons, one of which was that in the fandom im currently hyperfixating on, i got vague-shade-posted at by one of its bigger artists. quickly it felt like everyone was turning on me, so i just ran while i still had the chance because i knew no one would care. and i was right— all of my mutuals and friends whom ive had day long conversations and plotted many headcannons and fics with didnt react at all and everyone avoids bringing me up even though i was a very active participant of the fandom. its like ive become a bad memory, if even that. but none of that is why im here and need to get this off my chest. that's because of AO3. ive always had very little feedback and interaction with my works, but now it feels like people from thia fandom are deliberately avoiding my content. ive started feeling very discouraged as a content creator and i dont know what to do. writing is all i have now. if i lose that... i dont know where id be. you honestly dont have to answer this, just writing it out made me feel better a little. i didnt have anywhere else to turn to, so im sorry for putting this in your inbox. thanks for listening, though. i hope your day goes lovely, and that you never feel as unwelcome in the world as i do.

hi my darling!! first i wanna say how sorry i am for not getting to you sooner! tumblr loves to hide these things from me, it’s an absolute mess! but anyway, i’m going to try and see if i can help you out here, bc ur situation sounds absolutely terrible, but it also sounds like a situation that, i’m sure, many people would relate to and understand! 

so, for starters, i want you to know how welcome you are in the world, regardless of the opinions of a small group of misguided and frankly foolish people. from what you’re telling me, it sounds an awful lot like this one person who posted about you has a lot of influence in your fandom, right? enough of a presence that, when they speak, some people may feel like there’s no reason to argue or test their reasoning.

i say this because i’ve found many fandoms, at some point or other, inevitably have this kind of presence in the midst. it’s often accidental; i absolutely despise the notion of “popular rp blogs”, i’ve seen so many friendships and friend groups fall apart over accusations of being these “popular rp blogs”, and it’s an absolute mess of a situation that never made any sense to me. the dash isn’t high school. we’re all here to have fun! and yeah, we’ll complain and rant sometimes, but ultimately, we’re all here to make friends and have a good time together while we write outrageous angst about our muses, right?

i digress!

i used to write on ao3 myself, and i wrote in two or three different fandoms. not a lot, mind you! but i did notice that i got a HUGE amount of responses in the arguably smaller fandom than i did with the larger fandoms! like, the difference was incredible! plus, i don’t know if people without ao3 accounts are able to comment or offer feedback on the fics, so there could be LOADS of people reading your stuff who never made an account! i think i read stuff there for about three years before i decided to make an account!

but the truth of it is, you’re after emerging from a truly crappy situation. i think there’s tonnes of people out here who can relate to being vagued about, or to being the target of a shady post. but i also know for a fact that there’s LOADS of people here who have that as a rule; that anyone who vagues, is getting blocked on the spot. it’s 2022. we’re all adults, or at least responsible enough to be online and able to navigate this hellsite. the days of vaguing and shading others need to end.

i don’t want to end this on a dark note, so here’s some nice stuff! for one thing, you’re undoubtedly an incredibly mature and sensible person! reaching out and writing about this stuff is such a healthy thing to do, and you’ve even mentioned that you felt better after writing it, too! so well done!! secondly, you know how brave you need to be to write fanfic AND join tumblr?? SUPER brave!! and to be able to leave tumblr is also a feat of its own!! the important thing to recognize here is this: it only FEELS like people are avoiding your content. and while your feelings are valid, stress and anxiety can combine to lend a new and very unnecessary volume to the voice that’s telling you these things. you said you like writing! so write! it doesn’t matter what the people in your fandom think! you write what you want to write, and the right people will find it and read it and love it! i have a seventeen-chapter fanfic written in one of my old school copy books about a zombie apocalypse, and it started off based on my oc, then it expanded to cover literally any book, tv show or movie i’d ever read, seen or watched! and i love it! i love reading that old tattered book! you write what you love, and other  people will love it too. okay?

ily. know that you are always welcome here. and know that your value doesn’t depend on the opinions of a few. you’re a good person, and you didn’t deserve to be treated that way, and i’m sorry. i’m so sorry that you ever had to feel so badly that you felt “unwelcome”. but just because that group doesn’t welcome you, doesn’t mean that the rest of the world feels the same way! keep writing. and promise me you’ll never forget that you’re always, ALWAYS welcome here.

[urboymutual]

hi, a veteran of parental deterfifying process. rule number one is that you've got to be patient - and not in a way that you've got to put up with your mom's bs, but in a way that you've got to brace yourself for something that might take a while. small steps are good here, as well as systematic exposure. don't flood with information - sneak it in, then sneak it in more often. don't give up. you deserve to be understood. good luck & stay safe

hi anon thanks for actually like . replying to the point of the original post 😭💗

um im gonna explain my situation more under the read more because it may be triggering tw transphobia tw csa mention tw suicide mention

so ive been out since i was 14 years old so its been about 6 years i wanna say. but lord knows ive been patient 😭😭 i think in the beginning it was kinda a battle we would constantly argue but i never really felt like. she would get to be this bad? like its like her brain is rotting by t/rf and anti trans rhetoric

like when i came out i was already in therapy and all the therapist i went to diagnosed me with gender dysphoria 😭 like every single one and she still couldnt believe it and i guess she was in the denial stage and what shes doing now is anger?

idk both my parents have the belief im doing it to make my mom made because i was a rebellious child and shit. but like it was really ur typical religious bigotry and i think thats why it hurts now :/

like ive begged her to go to pflag to talk to other parents of trans people i begged her to talk to trans people besides me ive begged her to listen to my point of view so many times but now shes like a full on t/rf conspiracy theorist

she claims theres a trans agenda, that doctors have initiative to "turn people trans" for money, that "sickos" took transgender out of the dsm because "men have a sick fetish for humiliating other men and making them into women" like this is full on like ur crazy trumper uncle who doesnt believe in vaccines type shit. and when i offer her scientific research its considered "bias" and everything i try to show her is bias.

but its worse because she now sends me videos in my fucking email of "feminist" lawyers talking about how we are "losing women" to the "transgender agenda" and how "men are trying to be women to hurt women" like ur typical t/rf bullshit and its like a mixed fucked up concoction of anti science t/rf christian ideology and it hurts so much 🫠 (she also sends me de transitioning videos that neither here nor there but cis people who claimed to be trans and now are de transitioning and are transphobic as fuck can die by my blade)

but its like . she is serious brainwashed and i think it might be this new church shes going to thats making her even worse and im like. i literally cried myself to sleep last night because like i just want her to love me and she yells at me on the phone saying im butchering my body and like she also says i need more therapy (i go to therapy every month) bc i "was molested as a kid so now i think im trans" and that i "just need to love my body" and it hurts because like. shes literally hitting every single transphobic point and wont listen to me ever

i try listening to her now to understand and to try to see where she is coming from but its ruining my mental health a lot like getting top surgery is the only thing keeping me from suicide to be blunt :/ and now i might not even have that because she's threatening to cut me off and i live in expensive ass california and am in college 😭 like i do not know how to keep going

im just a child on the inside begging for my moms love and shes so brainwashed and it hurts. but yeah i guess shes "so based" when she also threatens me on the phone. idk t/rf much rather see a dead trans kid than care abt women

anyways sorry this is so long it kinda became a vent which was like half the original point of my post in the first place 😭😭 ur advice is good anon but i dont know how much i can keep hanging on 🫠🫠

[dragonsandvideogames]

OKAY, now that ive caught up on uploads (which also reminds me that i need to beef up the backlog again, got only a week left), time to update on genshin.

first, dho update- i got xianyun! 76 pity on 50/50, and i won. wouldn't have been too mad about losing to tighnari, mona, or dehya, but im really glad i got her. also snagged beidou off the 4 star selector, so now i'm just missing xinyan in terms of 4 stars! and in terms of elements, im only missing hydro and dendro (and the only dendro i can use is tighnari... rip me. at least hydro has yelan, who i can hopefully guarantee).

however, the primo grind continues- xiao's coming up soon, and chiori is right after. and chlorinde can't be too far away either. and wriothesley is due for his first re-run soon. watch the two of them run at the same time actually, just to spite me specifically lmao. im gonna end up clearing out the entire game within the next six months rip

heard some rumors about a new third type of banner, and if it's true, im thinking ill switch signature weapons only to being just that banner only. ngl, i made sig weapons only on a whim because the idea sounded cool, and i liked the idea of using my favs with their signature weapons (i have put 0 wishes into the weapon banner on my main, and don't see that changing unless i spontaneously get a billion dollars :P)

however, the reality is less fun- i've no clue what to do with the four stars, and it doesn't really seem restrictive or challenging, just tedious (i haven't even left mondstadt rip). dho is an interesting challenge for me bc of how limited the roster is, whereas with swo the entire game is the roster, it's just a matter of grinding out primos.

and considering i just spent two weeks grinding primos for xianyun, and will have to continue grinding primos for both xiao and probably chiori.. i'm less keen on the idea now lol. hoping that new banner, if real, also has the characters' weapons on it.

if the banner doesn't get added next patch like the rumors say, then. idk, white hair only characters? using the inverse rule from dark hair characters- 155-255 value instead- would make like half the game available, but restricting it down to like 200/210-255 might be an idea. im just gonna sit on this problem for now though, and see what happens.