#which is already something i believe bc who would ever want to put up with all my bs outside of brief dinner parties

[touchlikethesun]

.

[evansbby]

an update from me :)

hey everyone, i know i haven’t been very active on here lately. and the reason is because a lot of things in my life have changed. i’ve been debating even sharing this but i feel like i’m in a good enough position to be okay with sharing it.

so these past two years, i had been super active on here (late 2022- early 24) and that was because, well, I didn’t really have anything else. that’s because I had graduated in 2022 and then i just couldn’t find a job in my field. like so many other recent graduates, it was just so hard and tough and it really made me lose all faith in myself.

i found myself to be in the worst mental state i had ever been. I cut myself off from my friends, felt like a burden towards my family, was having meltdowns and panic attacks almost daily, even started eating unhealthily and was just overall in a very bad place.

HOWEVER, i always felt like I could come on tumblr and that’s why i was so active and writing all these stories because honestly, they were almost like a crutch to me. like the ONE thing i had to look forward to in life during those times was the feedback I’d get when i posted a fic, and honestly it’s what kept me going. like i swear to god, on some days this blog and community was the only thing that i had to look forward to and keep me going, and writing felt like such a huge escape.

because i felt so USELESS. like i was wasting my life and not making any money or being able to kickstart my career after uni, and that it would be like this forever, so when I was writing it actually felt like I was doing something with a purpose. honestly on some days I would literally wake up early and go sit in Starbucks all day just writing my fics like i was cosplaying working or something just so I’d have a purpose. (I don’t go to Starbucks anymore lol boycott)

anyways, i never shared this on tumblr these past few years bc you guys don’t understand what a failure i felt like. i would sometimes get asks on here asking what i did for a job and I’d feel so embarrassed of my current state of being unable to find a job when it felt like everyone else who had graduated with me had one and obtained one so easily. like i felt ASHAMED.

i remember once i got an ask asking what my job was and I just said “fashion marketing” bc that was one of the things i wanted to do and id done an internship in that field so i just put that but it was a LIE i was unemployed and the most depressed ive been in my whole life but I thought maybe i could manifest it.

ANYWAYS, and you’ve probably already guessed it, but the reason I’m not so active anymore is because I did eventually find a job. a really good one that I’m enjoying so much and I’m so happy at. Finally, I’m feeling like myself again, like I’m living that life in London as a twenty something that I’d see everyone on tiktok living!! Like I’m finally just having fun, going out with friends, being active, having money to spend on fun things etc.

and it feels so surreal and crazy because when i was depressed and jobless, it made me doubt myself so much. Like the constant rejections and failed interviews made me doubt myself and lowered my self esteem so much and I thought I’d NEVER achieve this life that i have now! And I don’t want to jinx it but I literally thank God every day for finally granting me this because I really feel like I would’ve gotten worse and worse and IDEK.

But back to the main point, and so because of my new job I just don’t have that much time for tumblr anymore. But this isn’t a goodbye post… not at all! I find that when I’m super busy in life is also when I get the most motivated to write! Like for example in summer 2022 I was on here so much and that was the summer I had the most fun, was the most busy. I think when I’m busy in life, I get motivated to write.

Which I believe is the case right now, because I’m SO motivated to complete all my stories, I keep thinking about them and writing them slowly, so please don’t think anything is abandoned! I just wanted to make this post to be more transparent about what’s been going on in my life and what had been going on these past two years. That maybe someone else going through something similar can see that eventually, everything does work out.

Anddd I don’t really know how to end this. I just want to say, yall don’t understand just how thankful I am for having this blog, this platform, to write my stories. For having you guys. Because who knows how much worse my mental state would’ve been these past two years when I didn’t have ANYTHING else going for me, if I hadn’t had this blog it would’ve been so much worse.

Thank you so much for believing in me and enjoying my stories and always always letting me know how much you enjoy them. And I’ll say the truth; I know everyone says that engagement on tumblr has been bad lately but I can say that bc of you guys I have literally never EVER had this issue. And that’s not me being big headed, that’s just the truth and it makes me so happy and grateful. Yall always came through for me and still do now! Every time I think my fic is going to flop, you guys come through for me. I appreciate it so much. You guys have no idea how much you helped me when I was at my lowest. And continue to.

Many thanks

Me 🩷🩷🫶🏼🫶🏼

[lees-chaotic-brain]

How would jjk men react to reader being pregnant with quadruplets?

Feat. Gojo, Yuta, Inumaki, Nanami, Megumi, Itadori (all characters are aged up)

Note: I did headcanons for this request because there were so many characters I wanted to include, and it would get a little boring to write the same scenario out in a full fledged fic like seven times. However, if there are one or two that you want me to turn into proper fics lmk!! I had to do research on pregnancy for this bc it's been awhile since my high school health class

CW: pregnancy, implied thoughts of abortion ig, mentions of fear regarding labor, AFAB reader bc, yk, pregnancy, one singular swear word

Word Count: 1.2k

JJK Masterlist | Blog Navigation

Gojo

I feel like Gojo would think you were joking at first, and wouldn’t believe you until you got frustrated and he finally realized you were being for real. He would have mixed emotions. On one hand, he was excited to have a big family and a house full of laughter and love. On the other hand, he was afraid, because more babies meant more defenseless mini-people for him to protect.

He had only known that he was going to be a father of quadruplets a few minutes ago, but he already knew that it would destroy him if he ever lost one of them. That he would gladly give his life for them. And then there was the matter of you. He already knew that childbirth was difficult for women, but quadruplets?? Childbirth was something that even he couldn’t protect you from and that terrified him. 

After a serious discussion in which he made sure you were okay with the added risks and you continuously reassured him that this was what you wanted, he settled down and began imagining a future for your family. Until he realized that he would have to share your love with four little gremlins who would surely take after their clingy father. Then it suddenly seemed less appealing.

Yuta

Baby boy would be shooketh. Because he’s sorry please don’t be mad at him and oh you’re not mad at him and the two of you are having quadruplets well technically you are but he’s the dad and oh god what if he’s not good at being a dad and-

You would have to calm him down as he fell into a downward spiral. Once you had properly reassured him, and he had fully absorbed the information he was ecstatic. He has always wanted a big family, and together the two of you were making that dream come true. Cuddling up to you he would thank you for loving him and gifting him with the many kids he had always dreamed of having.

He for sure would be the type to rub your stomach and whisper sweet nothings to the growing babies in your womb, telling them how much daddy loves them and how excited he is to meet them.

He would also start baby-proofing every square inch of your house before you had even started your second trimester.

Inumaki

He would be in shock. Because he put- wait how many??? babies in you. There was no way he heard you right. There was no way that you were pregnant with quadruplets. Because, wait, he didn't sign up for this! Yeah, he wanted tons of kids, but four babies at a time was a lot. And the strain it would have on your body was concerning as well. 

After he stopped opening and closing his mouth as he gaped at you, he managed to organize his thoughts. First he wanted to make sure you even wanted that many kids because, well, it wouldn’t be easy to give birth to or take care of that many. Once you had reassured him that you were, in fact, sure that you wanted to go through with the pregnancy and that you were prepared for whatever the future held for your not-so-little family he took a moment to process his own emotions.

At first he was conflicted. Sure he was excited, but he held his own private reservations. What if something went wrong during labor? What if he wasn’t cut out to be the parent of one kid, let alone four. But as the months sped by and your stomach grew, the anticipation grew, until one day he let go of any and all trepidation and allowed himself to be optimistic.

He also bought tons of matching onesies for the whole family.

Nanami

Ever the responsible adult and caring husband, first he sat you down and had a serious discussion about the pros and cons of having quadruplets, and whether or not the risks were worth it. Deep down he was thrilled, but he wanted to make sure the two of you were on the same page and understood what continuing meant.

Once the two of you had established you were going to see this through, and it was something the two of you wanted his planning would begin. First came the research. He thoroughly educated himself on everything regarding pregnancy, learning everything he needed to do to ensure your comfort and the healthy birth of his children.

Expect a special diet plan that fulfills the needs of you and your unborn children in the healthiest way possible, essential oil massages, weekly check-ups starting your second trimester, vitamin gummies and more.

He also would begin saving up because raising four children would be expensive. Would for sure have a whole financial plan set up and college savings accounts set up for each of his children within a week of his learning.

Megumi

Honestly, he wouldn’t have super strong feelings about it. He wanted to be a dad, but he didn’t care if it was one, four, or one hundred. He just wanted to have kids with you, and beyond that as long as you were happy he was too. 

So when you told him, his only response was asking you what you thought about it. When you told him you were excited, he was excited too. He had wanted to build his own family for as long as he could remember, and you were helping him reach his dream. What more could he ask for? The only other thing that mattered to him was that his children had siblings. As a kid he had resented Tsumiki, but as an adult he couldn’t imagine the loneliness he would have experienced growing up without her. So yeah. If you were happy, and his children would have siblings so they would never have to walk through life alone, he was content.

There was nothing more he wanted in life than your love and a family with you.

Itadori

Kids!!! He had wanted a ton of kids, so this was perfect! You were happy with it, so even better! He sees it as a four-in-one deal, and is over the moon. His golden retriever personality becomes even worse when you’re pregnant. Like, this man is at your side 24/7.

Constantly following you around, looking at you with big pleading eyes as he begs to cuddle in bed with you so he can talk to your stomach.

Oh my god talking to your stomach. This man would talk to your stomach more than he talks to you. Asking what your kids want to be named. Telling your unborn babies about his day. That he loves them and can’t wait to meet them. Describes all the fun things the six of you are going to do once they’re born. Definitely tries cuddling your stomach because he ‘wants to know what it feels like to hold his children.’

Also is a little shit that constantly asks ‘are they coming yet? Why not??’

[atalana]

so i finally got the chance to read the book of bill! and man those journal 3 pages, i could write a million essays on those, but the principle one that i can't get out my head is the new insight on ford's whole fucked up paradigm of what love is

like, neither of the stan twins really know how to experience unconditional love, because they never really had it. their dad was constantly comparing the two of them and really just stamping down stanley's self worth at any given moment. and even for ford who was praised, he's not an idiot, he saw how stan got treated all the time, and their dad was very explicit as to why. ford's praise and attention hinged on him being the family genius who could make them all a lot of money, and he knew very well if he failed to live up to that, he would also lose his father's love

and you see this in stan in his desperate need for everyone to like him, but also how he doesn't really believe anyone ever truly could love him, so whenever he gets the chance with anyone he clings onto that relationship as tight as he can, terrified it's going to disappear at any second

ford, meanwhile. the more direct threat to him was the bullies and the people that made him feel lesser for being abnormal. and no kid likes feeling like that, we know it's a spike buried deep in his psyche, which gave him a reason for the dichotomy he ends up forming.

when he was a kid, people tended to fall into two categories - those who were really impressed with him and his potential, and those who saw him as a freak and wanted to drag him down for it. the love he got and the hate he got are directly related to both.

and as a result ford is constantly looking for people who will give him intellectual gratification (what he thinks love is), and he categorises everyone else as "unimportant obstacles in my way" (because that's how he thinks about those bullies, so their words won't hurt anymore)

stanley was the first category, until he sharply became the second

and splitting the world into those two categories makes him an absolutely horrible person! like, one hand yeah, you do have sympathy for ford bc that is straight up torture bill put him through and no one should have to experience it (and i do wanna make clear this is not a ford hate post, he does have good qualities im just interested in the bad rn)

on the other hand though, god, i'm always struck by just how hateful he is towards so many unimportant things (just one of many examples, christmas songs are fake and stupid bc rudolph didn't burn santa's workshop to the ground as revenge for ostracizing him like jesus christ dude)

or the bit where he sees one of stan's shitty product ads and considers calling him and pretending to be a cop just to scare him, because in ford's mind that's a punishment he deserves for daring to look so stupid while sharing ford's face

and it just drills in how much ford is not willing to see stan's side of this in any way, because what do you think would happen if you went through with that plan? don't you know stan's already scared enough? you saw him get kicked out, you saw the ultimatum that came with it, and hell thanks to the book of bill we know you were also scared to go home until you had something to show for it. he's trying his best, and you understood that once. but then stan throws your journal back in your face and you yell that you're giving him the chance to do the first worthwhile thing in his life.

everything he did to try and make something of himself, to try and prove himself worthy of literally any love at all, you didn't care about that. now he's in a position to help you, so of course he should just drop everything and obey your orders to the letter without question. that's the only way to redeem himself for getting in your way, why won't he take it?

by the time bill shows up ford felt fully justified in going "this isn't about me, and therefore it's stupid and unimportant and should be destroyed". and i know exactly why, it's because again you think intellectual gratification and love are the same thing and you're running low on both right now so you're trying to make up the difference by affirming how right you are in your goddamn diary, but right does not make you good or kind or wise

and that makes it kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, because loving you is hard, and the one person genuinely willing to do so unconditionally you're keeping at a very aggressive arms length. but you fall for bill so easily, because he understands how important you are, which must be love, and all of these other people worried about you just aren't smart enough to get it

and not even realising bill's lies could cure him of that one. hell, 30 years spent dimension hopping didn't cure it. when ford gets back he is still just as self righteous, and still willing to categorise dipper as "will give me intellectual gratification" and the rest of them as intrinsically less valuable

which is why dipper can't take the deal ford offered him. if he had, he would have turned out exactly like ford, stuck in his own echo chamber unable to tell the difference between love and praise

mabel says at one point in the comics that the reason the two grunkles are bad at looking after kids is because they still are kids, and that's a really accurate insight. that old wound cut so deep neither of them had the chance to actually move past their childhood, and discover what it was they were missing

stan never stopped wanting his brother back, but ford didn't realise that was what he needed too, until he saw mabel and dipper working as a team against bill. he's acknowledged his mistake in trusting bill before now, but "we used to be like that" is his first time acknowledging that his whole approach to people is wrong.

you've always had one source of unconditional love. you didn't need to be better than him to be worthy of it. and now you've got an entire new family, hopefully you'll realise that can come from multiple fronts

(and it's okay stan shall have his revenge for how you treated him by commiting just. so much tax fraud in your name)

[kawaiisimp]

Modern Sanji in a relationship headcannons

Sanji would see you post your "girl dinner" and run over with a five course meal

He likes to pick the flowers growing on the side of the road while walking to your house. He already has a bouquet he bought too. He just thinks you can never have too many flowers.

He likes to match outfits with you anytime you're out together

His wallpaper is you, and he has a folder of just your pictures

Often, he has to apologize for having wandering eyes, but his hands would never ever wander over anyone who isn't you.

He's the type to literally push you away when blackout drunk while yelling that he already has a partner. At least you know he's fateful.

Never-ending pet names from this man!

He, for sure, has a million heart emojis next to your contact name, which is a pet name bc of course it is.

He makes playlists for you and about you

Ya know how some guys put their friends first to their s/os? It's the other way around for him. He will ditch guy's night or whatever just bc he misses his you or bc you seemed sad about him leaving. It's actually low-key an issue.

Has a wedding pintrest board

You know those videos of bfs with a bunch of stuff in their hands bending die to tie their s/o's shoes? Yeah, he's one of them.

Will drop anything and everything to help you no matter how small or big.

He melts at the smallest affection from you but often doubts that he deserves that love, so he needs some reassurance sometimes.

Strong believer in what's mine is yours, meaning his clothes are your clothes, your bed is his bed, his money is your money, your personal space is his personal space, etc.

He loves to slow dance in the kitchen while cooking with you

Always goes above and beyond for every date. Whether it's just at home watching a movie or going to a 5-star restaurant, he's pulling out all the stops.

He knows what he's doing when he does his simple flirty stuff. Pushing up behind you to get something, brushing his fingers against yours while doing dishes together, take a bit too long to roll his sleeves up, etc. He will act clueless as to why you're so flustered. He's not innocent.

Will sometimes purposely make you jealous

Brags about how amazing you are to all his friends. They are sick of hearing about you, but happy for him.

Does not like it when you talk to Zoro but would never tell who you can and can't talk to. He's not a dick.

"You're mine." But not in a "I own you," way, but in a "I need to take care of you," way.

Often buys and picks up things that remind him of you to give as gifts or sometimes keep.

He makes notes of all your preferences and tries to apply them anytime he can, from buying new cologne to getting new bed sheets. He's a pleaser and wants you to be comfortable and happy.

He is your number one hype man, and you are his biggest cheerleader right back.

His hugs are so amazing and comforting. I just know it!!!

All and all a top teir bf and literal hubby material.

[hxmocrastic]

Yandere!Aegon I x M!Reader + NSFW HCs

— pairings ; Yandere!Aegon I x Male!Reader

— a/n ; There's barely any M!Reader fics in ASOIAF Tags so I wanted to make my own ! (And bc I was curious 🤭)

— warnings ; NSFW ; 18+ TWT Links ; Coercion ; Dark Elements ; Yandere Behavior; Hinted Homophobia ; Affair ;

You're a Lannister boy, The youngest of your four brothers and considered the weakest because of your stature, frame, and meek personality. Your father —Loren I Lannister— has always looked down upon you, He shunned and spurned you relentlessly even claiming that you weren't a Lion but a insolent rat. You're brothers were worst, Like your father they maligned you any chance they got hindering your self esteem to a crippled sheet of parchment. Though despite their belittlement, You were determined to prove yourself.

You caught Aegon's Attention when you attended a Tourney, Adorned in Red & Gold Armor representing your house colors. You were up against Ser Dayken Tyrell, A formidable knight but viscous as well. You fell from your horse more times than you could count surely making a mockery of house Lannister. Tyrell came charging at you atop his white stallion until his grace, King Aegon abruptly halted the knight ceasing the tournament.

Aegon took an interest in you and started to unintentionally eye you in the courtyards, Though very discreetly. His stare would linger as you bowed and sulked past him. He began wondering why you always held that glassy look in your eyes.

After watching you for long enough he decides to make you his cupbearer, Deeming you unfit for tourneys. Truly he just wanted to get closer to you. To know you.

During this time the both of you became close with one another, You vented to him about your problems and he'd listen. With his permission of course, It was almost impossible to get this information out of you.

A year passes and Aegon feels something stir within him, The Dark desires he tried to keep down boiling to the surface.

His behavior started to...shift within the last couple of months. He grew overwhelmingly possessive of you, You could barely pour another lords wine without his violet eyes burning holes into your form. You couldn't even go out and speak with your friends without him requesting your presence. Seriously you couldn't even eat by yourself !! And the worst part is you couldn't question him about it either...

It was only a matter of time before His sister-wives started to grow suspicious. I mean who could blame them, He spent more time with you than he did with rhaenys which said something.

Anytime they'd bring this to light to him, Aegon would just chuckle and reassure them that you were a mere servant— a cupbearer at that, And he would never have any relations with you.

Oh boy was he wrong. He'd sabotage and oppose any & all of your marriage proposals. Even going as far as having one of your bride-to-be's killed in her sleep. But for some reason, Even after all the marriage annulments they'd always end up missing.

This put a far greater stain on your reputation, on your house. There was rumors that you were cursed and you started to believe them yourself. But Aegon with that stupidly handsome smile on his face placed your sobbing form in his lap and cooed into your ear with sweet nothings. You couldn't see the twisted grin on his face.

Aegon would pull you from his chest to stare into your (E/C) eyes as he'd persuade you into Bed with him. You stared at the man in shock, mouth agape with no words spewing. You tried to reject him but he'd subtly threatened the Livelihood of your brothers and father, Cornering you. You had no other choice...

— 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 18+

✪ The Faith already had issues with the Targaryens Incestuous polyamory but lying with another man—A Lannister at that, If they were to find out chaos would erupt. Good thing they weren't ever going to. You two had your affairs in secret, You would sneak into his chambers at a certain time and not the other way around.

✪ He's never laid with another man before, But he's willing to try for you. Though Same sex relations weren't entirely scorned upon in his childhood, They weren't praised either. Aegon figured it worked just how a Man & Woman had sex, Let's just say he's a fast learner.

✪ His pace is rough and quick almost unforgiving, He likes to use you as a stress reliever especially when he's aroused. He's quite big, Cut and pink 9'8 but his girth certainly makes up for it.

✪ Aegon can be just as possessive in sex as he is when you're speaking with your brothers. After all the hell they put you through, He dislikes having you around them so more often then not he has you face down ass up on the table with hips slapping against yours. ⭐

✪ He loves taking you on your back with your legs over his shoulders and you underneath him. It gives him a sense of dominance and control over you as if he doesn't have already. But it's also intimate and passionate, He can gaze into your eyes and witness your face contorting into different motions of pleasure. ⭐

✪ When he's feeling gentle, Best believe he will absolutely WORSHIP YOU. I'm talking Shoulder kisses, Feet Massages Etc.

✪ Even though you two were quiet in your affairs, By this point Both Rhaenys & Visenya had put two and two together and already discovered your affair. Rhaenys encouraged him and Visenya could care less.

Art By @chillyravenart

[writingshushf1]

Ooo mick bc I cant find smuts abt him

Bereal

Summary:  the app goes off and mick has an idea.

Rating: +18

Warnings: shameless smut, p!rn with a little bit of plot, shibari/restraining, unprotected (wrap it before you tap it!!!)

Word count: 0.6k

Note: god. this is the filthiest thing i've ever written.

masterlist

The room was hot, Mick had a wicked grin on his face, holding the ropes that were tied against your body. 

Right after you started your makeout session, he said he wanted to try something new he heard the boys commenting, because of it, the German searched about and bought what needed, now wanting to try it out - he loved to experiment new things, so did you. After a few minutes, he made a star harness with arms shibari, it was not just beautiful, but restrained your movements as well, so he could take more liberty on controlling you.

You had your face against the mattress, while Schumacher thrusted hard inside of you, earning loud whimpers out of your mouth, he was loving every single minute of it. He held the piece of rope that restrained your arms, while the other travelled between your hips to slap your ass harshly, leaving you to whine louder.

If you weren’t already a mess from having him inside of you, the blonde started to kiss your neck, nibbling and giving big hickeys around it, slowly making them go closer to your breasts - avoid getting into the rope, of course, he didn’t want to ruin his beautiful work. When you weren’t looking, he grabbed a bullet vibrator and put it against your core, making you chant his name over and over again.

Out of nowhere, the sound of bereal rang from the driver's mobile phone, which made you two look at each other for a few seconds. He scrunched up his eyebrows, picking up the phone.

“Can I?”

“Just don’t show my tits or any of those parts.”

“I wouldn’t want to, they’re mine and only for me. No one needs to see it.” His face got closer to yours. “Because you’re mine, baby… And I would be very jealous if someone got to see you like that.” 

You whimpered with his words, at first, he took a selfie, his face reddened by the heat and if you paid attention very closely, your legs appeared on the back of the picture, who were also tied up. Then, you let him hold your face to the side and show all the bruises on your neck and a part of your naked torso with the rope being very evident - of course, not showing your breasts. He turned off his phone, looking at you again.

“Such a beautiful good girl, letting me show off how good I take care of you.” He muttered, starting to thrust again in an agonising slow pace.

You were getting closer and closer to an orgasm and he kept provoking you, making you get into the edge of it, then slowing down at once so you would never get into your climax.

“Mick… Please.”

“What, baby?”

“I’ve been such a good girl… Please, let me cum.”

“Oh. Do you think so?”

You went quiet, looking at him while holding the most obscene moans. Schumacher chuckled, slapping your thigh and going again at a painful speed - now painfully fast, knowing that after that, it would be very hard to walk.

When you came, your walls squeezed him inside, making him cum too, screaming your name multiple times while he finished inside of you.

After this mind blowing sex, you two were laying together, cuddling naked on the bed when Mick grabbed his phone, seeing multiple notifications from bereal and his friend group chat. As he read the reactions of his friends - many shocked that he was into that sort of thing, the German showed you and you both laughed together at how their friends believed him to be an innocent person.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Something that I couldn't put into words but now I can about the Chaggie conflict in "Rosie" and one other reason it hurt: Charlie questioning Vaggie's loyalty. Yes, I know it wasn't because of Vaggie's origin but because of the lie itself but still hurts and clearly hurt Vaggie - she has been nothing but loyal and honest in Charlie's dream and has only ever done 1 lie in all of that. And when it's revealed, Charlie is now questioning everything - Again, I understand but it still hurts. And I know this might be redundant, I WANT this moment to come back again in S2. I don't know how but I want Vaggie to admit how angry/hurt it made her that Charlie questioned the loyalty she has given without asking for anything. What do you think?

i don't think Vaggie was even slightly angry with Charlie until her girlfriend made a magically binding pact with an unrepentant serial killer the second Vaggie wasn't looking XD

......we're asking a bit much by expecting the woman who hates and judges herself over her own mass murderer past... to then be upset that her girlfriend was also hurt and angry about that and reacted badly to randomly having all that dropped out of the clear blue sky in the middle of an already terrible day...

so in that ep got the vibe Vaggie spent the entire time feeling sick and guilty over the whole thing tbh. As usual

(and her feeling very very not good about seeing Alastor getting all creepy mentor with a Charlie who just got a wedge driven between her and her main emotional support- im 100% sure Vaggie's "Charlie can we talk-?" following Alastor's "good girl" thing was her wanting to know EXACTLY what deal her gf just made with Alastor and what the hell she was thinking and charlie are you sure Vaggie can't just stab him a little as a warning-)

But Vaggie, she's also not really uh. Not got a good track record of wanting or letting Charlie know about her feeling bad about stuff, emotions wise. Even when Charlie is right next to her reaching out. That's not her thing???

ah what the hell tangent time

like one big reason Vaggie DIDN'T fess up her past to Charlie was her being scared Charlie would be hurt by it and actually hate her for having done that, because Vaggie is being hurt by her past and hates herself for having it (re: every time she's called angels like herself deranged), so even though the blackmail against her made NO real sense and Adam's threat was just him not understanding that someone (charlie) could ACTUALLY believe in redemption for LITERALLY anyone (she does), it still pinged Vaggie's fear right in the heart, making the stuff like how Charlie is letting a known serial killer live in the hotel and help out with her and Vaggie's dream go RIGHT out the window-

(to be fair from Vaggie's pov there's probably a BIG difference between ending someone's mortal life on Earth (a la normal sinner seral killers) and presumably destroying their entire soul forever (re: exorcists) so like, that's kinda fair, but it still doesn't include how Charlie is WILLING TO WORK WITH AND THINK THE BEST OF HEAVEN AND THE EXORCISTS ANYWAY which is WHY she thought going to heaven to talk with them could work in the first place)

(to be extra fair it doesn't MATTER how much Vaggie trusts Charlie bc Vaggie had body parts ripped off and her eye permanently gouged out and was abandoned in hell by someone ELSE she use to trust once and THAT means really trusting people not to hate or abandon her is gonna take her putting some more blame on Adam and Lute and co and less on herself, because as long as she focuses on what SHE did (murderer) to make all this happen TO herself (filth like you doesn't deserve-) she's never gonna fully get that what happened to her was a choice shit people made (let's exterminate ppl for fun! let's rip off our comrade's wings and eye without hesitation!!!), one they didn't have to make, one she didn't make for them- meaning non-shit people like Charlie probably won't do that to her, actually, bc people like Charlie will care about Vaggie as a person outside of her being useful or being exactly what is wanted. Like how Charlie was more worried about Vaggie at the end of ep 3 than anything else and wouldn't let Vaggie blame herself and was fine with things being hard as long as she and Vaggie could face them together. Like how Charlie was calmed in the More Than Anything reprise not by Vaggie promising to fix everything but by Vaggie saying Charlie is important and wonderful to HER)

if anything Vaggie might be upset if she found out Charlie had less of a problem with the Exorcist thing than with the lying thing

If you (Vaggie) think you still need to EARN redemption, then having someone say your sins don't bother them so much can ironically make you panic and either think they're lying to you OR it can make you worry you've downplayed what you've done and are somehow tricking the person you love into believing you're a better person than you actually are and therefor might be taking advantage of them, which of course you don't want to do because you love them, which is a pretty big contradiction you probably won't notice is there

Sooooo i could see Vaggie spiraling into something like THAT but,

her be angry at Charlie for being upset over the thing Vaggie hates about herself? the mental health levels aren't good enough for that one yet XD

basically both Vaggie and Charlie got to live through the very fun experience of being trapped in your own head and trauma

anyway, the fact that Charlie didn't ask or want or LET Vaggie do an apology for any of that at the hotel gates says more than enough for me, for both of them. Just like with Vaggie putting her own fear and self-loathing onto Charlie, most of Charlie's pain in that ep didn't come from Vaggie's past or Vaggie's lie.

I've said Charlie's bad at figuring out what she's feeling and ep 7 is where it really bit her in the ass- she got hit with an identity crisis (turns out the one person who always believes in her didn't trust her enough to tell her this) (this on top of the epic fail of their shared dream to save sinners from extermination and the looming destruction of the hotel that represents that dream) and trauma trigger (what if Vaggie lied about all of that too, what if she never really loved or had faith in Charlie, what if Charlie is going to be alone again) without understanding that's what was going on or that it was something coming from herself as much as from Vaggie.

Being away from Vaggie didn't reduce Charlie's stress during that ep, it made it worse, until Rosie had to yoink her in for an emergency counseling session. Before that Charlie vents about how she told Vaggie everything and shared everything with her (the exorcist thing gets a TINY throwaway mention it is NOT the focus here) and when you add the lie revelation to how Vaggie asked to be alone on the roof in ep 3 instead of letting Charlie be there for her, it stops being about ONE lie TO Charlie, and turns into YEARS of lies ABOUT Charlie's place in Vaggie's life.

Which was terrifying and painful and... went away the MOMENT Charlie realized Vaggie did actual love her and believe in her, and was not actually going to leave her.

If actions mean more than words then their reunion at the hotel gates is them both saying the only thing either of them want to hear- I missed you, i love you, i want to be with you. Here's this horrible souvenir i picked up for your while we were on opposite sides of town and thanks babe im gonna fling myself into your open arms about it.

Vaggie hates herself too much to feel like Charlie owes her an apology for being hurt and angry at the Exorcist lie. It was a pretty big thing to keep hidden

i mean murder aside, Charlie had no idea Vaggie's opinions and advice about heaven was from personal experience, she probably assumed it was just normal sinner bias against the people who kill sinners and not, you know, Vaggie secretly dissing on how terrible her former boss and co-workers used to be. Maybe Charlie would've approached the talking to heaven differently if she'd known. Maybe she would've tried strangling Lute's hologram in ep 1. we will sadly never know

we DO know that Vaggie ran to hug Charlie right after the secret was revealed, which means Vaggie was mainly worried about Charlie being hurt by it, which doesn't really leave a lot of room for Vaggie to be upset at Charlie when Charlie does turn out to be hurt by it

so Vaggie wanting an apology from Charlie? I see her more wanting a very, very, VERY long hug

but if Charlie ever tries giving an apology anyway (a la the balcony scene in ep 3), that might just freak Vaggie out and fuck her up with "oh no my gf doesn't understand how bad the things i've done are am i tricking her am i using her would she be better off without me" issues for the foreseeable future ^w^;

[iamnmbr3]

I've been reading a lot of drarry fics lately and one of them got me wondering. In a hypothetical world where everything was pretty much the same but Harry and Draco did end up together, would Ron and Hermione accept their relationship even if begrudgingly or would they be antagonistic about it? And if they didn't accept it, with your perspective on canon Harry do you think he would choose Draco or his friends? 🤔

This is a fascinating question. (Btw huge shoutout to you and all the lovely people who send me so many interesting questions and observations).

So first off there's the question of whether Ron & Hermione would accept their relationship. (To some extent of course this depends on the context of the Golden Trio's relationship at that point; for example, if they've drifted apart or something then things might be different.)

But let's assume they all stay close and remain each other's found family as we see in the books. In that case, I actually think they probably would accept the relationship. Ron stood on a broken leg at the age of 13 and told Sirius that if he wanted to kill Harry he'd have to kill all three of them. And we see they have both risked their lives for Harry time and time again. They even followed him into a deadly Fiendfyre blaze even though neither was enthusiastic about saving Draco or Goyle.

These two have been ride or die for Harry since the age of 11. They love him. They might not agree with his relationship with Draco and they might well think that Draco is using Harry or that the relationship will end badly, but I don't think they would abandon Harry over it.

Now, Harry would probably worry about what they might think. Hermione was called a mudblood by Draco and tortured in his living room. Ron was bullied constantly by him and his brother was permanently maimed because of Draco's actions. He might worry that his friends might not understand or might be very angry. But I also think he trusts Ron and Hermione especially after all they've been through by the end of book 7.

I think Harry is someone with great force of will and determination who is not easily swayed from why he believes and is willing to defy people over those beliefs. At the same time he's someone who tends to be conflict averse with his friends. But only to a point. I mean, he sure wouldn't let the Draco thing go during book 6 despite Ron & Hermione's urging. I think if he loved Draco he would fight to be with him. And I think Ron & Hermione would not turn their backs on him over it. Ron probably says something to the effect of since he already had to go on the worst camping trip ever while on the run from a murderous maniac there’s no point in dropping Harry now.

Also, I think first he'd become friends with Draco before actually starting a relationship (even tho Ron & Hermione might start suspecting where this is going) so that would give him time to introduce the concept and start easing them into it. And they'd probably express reservations which Harry would either dispute or just kinda ignore. I think it'd take a long time for them to be truly won over though.

The person who's most worried is probably Draco. I think he'd be convinced that openly being with him would end up ruining Harry's life by permanently tarnishing Harry’s image and destroying his relationships with his friends. I think he would have a lot of anguish and guilt over any tensions that arose due to him and I think he might even try to convince Harry to end things with him bc of it and then he’d really try to get Harry’s friends to tolerate him for Harry’s sake.

As for what Harry would do if his friends made him choose. I think if he truly loved Simone he would put them first. I also think he’d choose the people/person who didn’t force him to choose. If Ron or Hermione turn their backs on him then I think there are already other tensions in that scenario and it’s a situation where the friendship doesn’t survive the war. Like maybe Ron and Hermione don’t work out long term, Ron regresses to his worst impulses and becomes consumed by jealousy of Harry’s fane and bitterness over feelings of inferiority and then the last straw is Harry getting together with Draco Malfoy of all people and they have a falling out. But yeah. I don’t really see it in canon. Ron and Hermione don’t like Draco but they don’t deeply hate him because he hasn’t done anything especially awful to them. Sure they dislike and distrust him and have a lot of negative feels about him. But they love Harry way more than they dislike Draco. They probably worry Harry is making a bad choice. But they don’t abandon him.

[evilkitten3]

when you think about it. madara is just. so. niasndladnsndlnls

as soon as he shows up he starts his "can't rely on any of these losers smh" crap and he keeps doing it. he constantly has to do things himself bc his minions are all fuck-ups or have entirely separate agendas or are fuck-ups with entirely separate agendas. and yet

again and again and again and AGAIN he trusts people. not even for good reasons sometimes. he genuinely seems to believe he can't rely on anyone other than himself and yet he repeatedly puts faith in people. some of them are complete strangers

"oh yeah this kid i trapped in my divorce dungeon after replacing half his body with my ex's dna? i'm going to psychologically traumatize him, sell him my identity, and hope he takes care of things while i'm busy being dead for the next couple decades. even tho he has no reason to bring me back, hates my guts, and as far as either of us is aware could probably pull off our masterplan without any more help from me. i am also going to assume that the version of him in his 30s is the same as the teenager version of him i knew even tho not only have i myself been through puberty but also i have firsthand experience of how people can change from when they were teenagers bc my ex broke up with me via literally stabbing me in the back and killing me when i realized our dream wasn't going where we wanted. he knew to go for my back bc i told him it was my weakness as a child. also i don't wear armor there bc i don't usually need it. i'm sure this kid would never do that to oh hey he's stabbing me"

"hey this weird plant zombie thing showed up and said he's an extension of my will or something. i have absolutely no way of verifying this but i am cool as hell so i'm just going to assume it's telling the truth and not using me as a pawn in some greater plan as it is encouraging me to do to others. it would never do that to ah hell in the back again"

"my brother is dead but my only friend who is now my enemy and who is also the older brother of my brother's killer wants to make an alliance even tho our families hate each other and my family also hates me and i also hate me and would rather he just kill me already which is also what everyone else wants. except for him bc we're ninja romeo and juliet but with fascism and if romeo had been able to put aside tybalt killing mercutio and if juliet had instead of drinking poison stabbed romeo to death with a sword. and then tybalt took over the city after she died and made decisions which eventually led to all the montagues except one getting massacred by his shitidiot older brother on a propaganda high. but hashirama would not ever do that to me and if i pushed him to a place where he needed me dead he would surely do it honorably and not in the back and that's a wood clone isn't it"

"hello small uzumaki child that i have not ever spoken to and do not intend to interact with directly i am going to break into your home and steal your eyeballs and replace them with my own significantly cooler eyeballs (they used to be my little brother's so please be careful with them) and you can play around with them while you do my minion/replacement's bidding until you use them to bring me back to life even though this will kill you and you don't even know me and will in fact think that someone else is me anyway and why is this edo tensei wtf do you mean nagato's dead. who the fuck is naruto"

it's like if the "rip to ur grandma but i'm different" meme was a person. and that person was simultaneously the speaker, the person being addressed, and the grandma.

[djevelbl]

Hello everyone! Welcome back to the second edition of Djevel Stalks Someone's Blog, Sees a Comment and Goes On an Out-loud Tangent So. Hard. He Might As Well Make It a Tumblr Post

I'm your host Djevel, and today I'll talk about my own viewpoint on Colly/RuneStraw: completely unnecessary, definitely not asked for yet still delivered to your fyp like that copy of The Book of Bill delivered to that poor sod who bought a church study book on amazon or somethin', exactly how I want my stupid over-the-top opinions to be baybeyyyyyyy~

Now lemme preface this by saying a couple things:

#1: I don't mind RuneStraw half as much as this over-the-top post will make it look like, they're actually cute af together and have a great dynamic going on! I just like to bitch about stuff, I love yapping and the blog blurb already says that I'll "scream into the void about whatever media I'm consuming" - you read that, clicked on read more, don't come at me over this of all things. As a show of good will, I'm writing this as I listen to Love Again - Dua Lipa (really good also fits these two dweebs really well so there's that)

#2: This is just my opinion and if at any point you feel like I gotta remind you of this fact: put the hands away from the keyboard, open the window and smell outside air - it ain't that deep. You can always just not read it

#3: If you so happen to identify yourself as the blog I was stalking before I started typing this out - this isn't criticising your post or anything, I'm just a sleeper agent on the subject and happened to wake myself up with that post lmaooo (also no you're not. I don't wanna have a confrontation over this ❤)

With that out of the way - let the bloodbath begin (probably mine as well LMAO)

Let's start strong and lemme say it already: I don't think the fact that Cup is into Holly is a counter-argument to the "why can't they just stay friends" bc that's not really answering the question?? At least whenever I ask it it's less about the now and more about the whole relationship - beyond giving Cup a solid, tangible goal to reach through rehabilitation and tHERAPY IF HE EVER GETS IT and giving Holly stability in a world much more dangerous than she thought, both of which can be given to them through different means, what does having them kissing do for them as growing characters, and what does it do for the narrative? After all they're puzzle pieces within a larger story, and while I love preaching about considering your characters like people when you sit down to analyze them, you still have to understand them as the puzzle pieces they are: they all have an individual purpose within the story, and the connections you decide to make between them have to give something to them or at least to the narrative. Something nothing else can give them, so we care about those connections.

Something I'm not sure having these two goobers kissing quite accomplishes. But maybe I'm just a hater, idk

Now getting into more of my own perspective on RuneStraw - would you believe me when I tell you I groaned out loud when I read it? Y'know what I mean - any set-up for the ship between book 11 and 12 is valid if it came up to your head when I said it, I probably groaned at all of them lol and that's because to me it came out of nowhere; sure, Holly had mentioned she had a crush on Cup back when she was dating Finnley I think (remember him? yea,,, I miss him too), but she was:

1) Dating someone at the time.

2) Talking about it in a past tense, implying she didn't feel that way anymore.

3) Building off of 2 - with the way she mentioned it, it genuinely sounded like she's distanced herself from the sentiment; from what I remember she talked about in the same way one does about thoughts and feelings one had years ago. Almost like they're from a different person.

These three things led me to believe she wasn't interested in him nor was she gonna be - her crush was based on an image Cuphead willingly puts up as a shield and that by now she knows is fake; her feelings back then were born out of a dark, mysterious and brooding façade he constantly put up that dissipated the moment she had more than a few words exchanged with him. The mysticism was gone, the alure is as well - she was left with a genuine yet broken man, not the put-together mobster she thought he was. And while it isn't impossible she recovered those feelings but directed towards the actual Cuphead, it feels like an odd choice to backtrack her character like that.

There's also the fact that they were the only duo of different genders that wasn't gonna be a romantic pairing, Until they weren't.

And I'll come out and admit it: maybe this point is most of the reason why RuneStraw bothered me as much as it did when it got introduced more heavily. This is the thing: the question of "why can't they just stay friends?" is a valid one to throw into the conversation - as I said, they were the only friends of opposite genders who didn't wanna get into each other's pants, because AliBends is canon (if currently doomed by the narrative), Minnie and Mickey obviously like each other, Donald and Daisy are dating I'm pretty sure, Jake has active feelings for Alice to the point he distanced himself from her to manage his own emotions and keep them in check when it became obvious she isn't actually interested in him romantically, and even if this next one isn't quite the Inky Mystery Team's fault (after all they're working off whatever scraps Quest for the Ink Machine left in its wake) I'll throw it in the ring just to drive the point across: while Cala Maria is her own character and her own person, often times it feels like the deepening of her character and whatever conflicts she may be going through are there for the benefit of Mugman's own struggles and character arc; we don't see much of her reaction at Mugs' heroic but reckless deal with Marcus or her reaction to having been found, we don't hear much about her ink illness beyond that one chapter where she started showing symptoms. For as much personality as she has and for as lovable as she is, sometimes she feels like Mugman's romantic interest first, herself second - probably due to not being part of the main cast, which is fair to some extent.

Personally I don't see RuneStraw as a romantic connection that had to be done necessarily - what each provides to the other's character development (a tangible goal for Cuppy, a much-needed stability within a dangerous world for Holly) is already being provided by their friends, people they should be able to rely on. I guess I just feel a little sad that we don't have many bonding chapters between all the Questers, regardless of duos or dynamics that pair up the best: imagine (and bear here with me, this is getting into the headcanon territory lol) if angels can sense Demon Deals as these are an extension of a demon's magic (something angels can detect) and once Alice comes back from The Upper she notices - really notices, decides to pay attention - that there's something cold wrapped around Cup; they have a conversation where Cuphead tiptoes around his childhood and all the stardust he's gone through in one of the biggest displays of bravery and trust he's given us this far, and Alice knows he's not telling the whole truth but she listens, she listens and shares how it was growing up with expectations of being a great angel someday. He shows her trust, and she gives the same trust out of her own chest to him.

Imagine Bendy and Cala Maria bonding over a trip to the docks - we could get to know her better, how it was like living as a gorgon, sharing experiences between them on how terrible it is to be hated for something you cannot control, and laughing over the good bits their past can offer them. Finding a weird comfort in having been the monster for a little bit, as they could protect those they love with that infamy and the power it came with (Boris for Bendy and Ebi for Maria, of course) - hell, maybe we could hear of Cala's parents! How they were like, their little quirks and tricks, we could read about Bendy considering her lucky and Maria telling him he's found his family here, that those he's forgotten don't matter because they didn't stick around.

Imagine Alice relaying stories of how her younger siblings are rascals and comparing them to Boris, how much he'd get along with them, singing tunes and dancing for the hell of it - helping him get a better grip at dancing, if marginally, and managing to wring laughs out of him by the tons.

Imagine all of them around a table, sweets and treats laid out, as Felix and Alice do their damn hardest to one-up each other in their wild adventures from before they joined the Questers - the cat talking about his mad dash as he escaped that ferocious beast of a tiger, and he shows the scars like your dad shows you his most prized collections as he talks of the most dangerous bits. The angel taking a swig of her alcohol of choice before going into this maddened ramble about the greatest prank war she's ever been in against Jake, and how they both got banned from several places for a whole dang year. Even Sarah gets wrapped up in the shenanigans and fun once Bendy, Cuphead, Mugman, Holly, Boris and Cala Maria all join in to win the title of Wildest Adventure Story; she's just a child after all, even with incomprehensible magic woven into her soul. Maybe all of the house is there, listening as the Questers finally have a moment to breathe and be as young as they are - the oldest is Felix, and he's in his forties at most, he still has life to him.

This is supposed to be a recovery arc, and mantaining healthy friendships with other people can help a long way with those dark thoughts The Labyrinth left them all.

Romantic love isn't the be-all-end-all, it shouldn't be the ultimate objective of a character that makes them become stagnant and void of themselves, and I guess I just want boys and girls to share stories and rooms without their interactions being a making out or being politely pleasant, pick one situation. I guess I'm just socially blind and petty, maybe I'm taking a fanfiction too seriously - after all, it is made by fans and for the fans; it's no professional production, and sometimes it's just better like that.

TLDR: I go way too hard on fictional characters for wanting to boink, more at 10

Ok but now a real TLDR: I just want the Questers to interact more with each other and I'm not talking about the typical duos always formed like they're in school and they choose their bestie for the group project. I mean all the Questers. Also I went in wayy too hard against fictional characters that just wanna fuck in peace ig

[billyjoecobra]

JOSEPH JOESTAR CHARACTER ANALYSIS (1)

I never see anyone talk or analyze Joseph very often in the fandom, which is tragic because i believe he's very complex!! So here's some thoughts to chew on, rattle around in your head a bit. It's all under the cut, and it is LONG AS HELL because i have a LOT to say on him!!! Warning though, it's not super properly punctuated as these are discord rambles of mine, but -- enjoy nonetheless!!

i think it's super interesting to note how every time someone puts joseph down, or does something shitty to him, he just doesn't care. not a single bit. he even says it's fine, maybe even deserved sometimes. he assumes people always thinks the worst of him, and yet doesn't really care aside from the one time he dressed in drag and got insulted about it. even then he was just kind of, "man. i looked hot though.." however every time someone even remotely upsets his friends or hurts those who don't deserve it or his family he goes. ABSOLUTELY APESHIT. he will get SO fighty.

he will immediately throw hands and hurt you physically without thinking about it he likes to put assholes in their place sometimes (i.e. the taxi driver, the nazis who insulted him. and any nazi really ) but that is different than really caring about what they say to him. i think he has a very strong moral code, though people tend to see him as quite dubious because of his loud and obnoxious behavior every consequence to his actions, he only worries what others close to him will think and he can easily be driven to a blind rage revenge if you dare to hurt his family in any way. because you DONT fuck with his family. family is the no. 1 thing he cares about

beating up racist cops? he only feels bad because he doesn't want to stress out erina with the thought of bailing him out. told speedwagon is dead? he's upset, but he keeps his cool and throws a punch at the guy for upsetting erina, and worries more about her comfort than his own. guys hijacking a plane and holding him hostage? he couldnt care less if he was the hostage, he only cared enough to stop it because it might risk getting speedwagon hurt. and it goes on

and for the sake of his family he keeps purposefully trying to risk himself to death repeatedly. when fighting kars lets not forget when he shot kars into space and his thoughts were about how he was ok with dying if it meant his family was safe i think . and i said this before this is just me getting my thoughts out way more eloquently with points i've already touched on before. but.

in a non emo way, it's really hit me how he isn't like. beat up about it. about assuming ppl always think the worst of him. he cares way more about others than himself type of guy thats like similar to "they're friendly but after awhile of their support and talking to them you realize to your horror you dont actually know anything about them at all" other than he's like. bold and brash and likes to start fights sometimes oh and lest we forget he also tends to take the death of loved ones so hard to the point that no matter the circumstances true causes he always blames himself.

he always blames himself and gets a bit. ummmmm i wouldn't say suicidal but like way too risky with his life and stops really caring if he'll die. he's just so used to nobody ever understanding him and his "off kilter" tbh neurodivergent way of thinking and living that he. like. he doesn't exactly have great self image beyond thinking he has sexy lips which sounds so silly but it's true and again it's not something he dwells on it's just kind of, A Fact to him. and this isn't even touching on the slew of issues i'm sure speedwagon's constant comparing of him to his dead grandfather must have caused.

It's very evident to me that he has ALWAYS felt like a burden to some degree i think. even when erina and speed havent really treated him as such. This is why I think his dynamic with speedwagon would be pretty strained / already seems as such -- bc. As I said before, he's ALWAYS comparing him to jonathan, even when he was just a kid.

NOW BY ALL MEANS!! I DO NOT THINK speedwagon means any ill will. it's just something that he just keeps.. doing because. well he respected jonathan so much, and it kind of clouds how he sees joseph because -- well, joseph is the SPITTING IMAGE of him. But not intending harm does not mean he hasn't caused any by doing that -- comparison can WRECK you pretty bad. joseph has made it clear that he knows he's nothing like jonathan in any regards except looks and i think it kind of contributes to his overall. tanked self image. and also the fact that he's a reminder of the tragedy of losing his parents ( or so they thought for a while. yk )

he deeply cares for him still, this much is true. he always will. but, it doesn't negate the serious comparison issue, constantly being told "WOW you have an attitude not at ALL like your grandpa, he would have never done x!! how do you look like him while being such an angry kid!!"

..... said without real malice or really bad intention, more out of exasperation. but. those kinds of things stick with kids. yknow? Joseph's always bottled up his emotions and tried to be on his best behavior for erina's sake. hes always a little more open with speedwagon. but .............. BWGHGURUGURGGH!!!!!!! i could go on for hours about it ok. but i shall move on to my next point now.

what sucks about it though is that the fandom tends to gloss over these bit of characterization at every turn. there is a lot of sadness and concerning things surrounding joseph that he just simply SHRUGS OFF about that it's kinda concerning! not that he'd ever really see a problem with it.

the fact that he was prepared to die / did the bet if only to distract them long enough to let caesar and speedwagon get away... you COULD maybe read it as a little bit of self preservation but given how he handles literally all other instances of him possibly dying., and the circumstances of him leading whammuu away being to SAVE those two. I think it yet again falls in line with "who gaf if i die i care if THEY die". then he gets stressed about the time he has left. which i imagine would stress ANYONE honestly. but . part of me thinks that it's also because this means that he has a short time to make sure he can be strong enough to protect everyone he loves and cares for..

that isn't ALL there is, of course. but i feel like with his behavior that is probably a big reason of it. You can summarize it all with one sentence; essentially,

joseph isn't afraid of death, nor dying himself; he's afraid of his loved ones dying.

This fact is extremely present in everything he does and says, but especially so when Caesar's death hits. THAT, however, i will make it's own post on. I have a lot to say on that and how it fucked him up for life. For now, though, I will move on and touch on another topic.

for all the loud opinions joseph seems to also speak none of it is ever really looked into much deeper as anything more than " he's just being joseph again" and he never really elaborates on it either, hence why a lot of people don't know much about him. While he is schrodinger's himbo -- too stupid to be smart, too smart to be stupid -- it's clearly all an act to get people to lower their expectations of him. He doesn't like being taken as a joke though. that he is a hater of for sure so. Joseph hides his true self behind a mask of idiocy and lackadaisical attitude to the point where it's blended into his actual truest self and he can hardly tell what's real and what's the mask. But at the same time, Joseph gets very angry when nobody takes him seriously because of his facade and trying to make everyone lower their expectations of him so he can pull the rug out from under them.

He's so mad when people don't take him serious but then continues to act pretty unserious and it's like. Well if you want them to take you more seriously bro you should stop doing that. Stop lowering others expectations so you can kick their asses or have a general upper hand just in case ( but he won't 💖)

he is a bit of a polarizing character but i hate when fandom reduces him to just "funny goofster" or ""cheater"", or writes him off as annoying with no depth to him. To judge Joseph through a lense of solely good or solely bad is a terrible idea; that man is gray moraled as HELL, he has a strong sense of self justice while also being incredibly underhanded and sneaky. If you dislike him, that's fine -- but don't discount his complexity just cause of that!!! He's not puddle deep, there's a lot of facets to how truly fucked up he is.

yeah. he is goofy, and he's a cheater at many things. but there's a lot to him. HE'S COMPLEX!!!!

[cleromancy]

oracle year one born of hope from batman chronicles #5 (published 1996) is hands down the best defridging story ive ever read for a lot of reasons--the first being just that its such a damn good comic in the first place. but every time i read it im so struck by the way it reframes the casual *incidental* violence done to barbara in TKJ, where she's just an obstacle in the joker's way to get to jim (to get to batman) and it's not *about* her. on the very second page of OYO we have this:

the entire page (...minus bruce in the bg up there) is drawn from barbaras point of view while she recounts the incident from her hospital bed. literally recentering her and her perspective, her experience and her feelings. where TKJ sensationalizes and sexualizes the violence done to her we see an illustration of her choice--love for her father, "don't get up"--then the shock and pain of the injury, then the operating room.

and she opened the story with "i cant believe i was such an idiot," berating herself for not looking through the peephole or using the chain on the door before she opened it, emphasizing that she knew better, and its a very human response to being the victim of something like this--almost fixating on a small mistake you made. inside the story its about the grief and the sense of control bargaining gives you--"if only i had--!" and then on the meta level its actually addressing the "well why DIDNT barbara look through the peephole???" (<- the answer being that TKJ never considered whether or not she would have, bc that was less important to the story than hurting her.)

and the next page. god. its masterful:

the balance of OYO being a response to TKJ on a meta level and the genuine story-level exploration of barbaras feelings just in the first 3 pages alone... chefs kiss. the way it addresses the previous bullshit storytelling choices--but builds something new off of them, because that shouldn't be the end of barbaras story.

and its so fantastic bc it doesn't shy away from barbaras ugly feelings...

she's so angry and she's allowed to be. and thats also what makes it such a good defridging--that its a resonant portrayal of becoming disabled. anger, grief, humiliation, shame, fear, the absolute *slog* that is recovery, the realization that your independence has been compromised... it really reckons with what this means for her in that moment and moving forward.

just posting this one bc i love her...

and the crux of the story is barbara taking control back over her life, barbara not feeling helpless anymore. its a superhero origin story to its core and its fantastic at what it does.

and i mean... i do always feel iffy about this part:

the juxtaposition of her wanting to do this without batmans help with her, well, unknowingly accepting bruces help. makes seesaw motion with hand. i always feel like its a bit of a weak spot... i like elements of it, particularly *because* this work is addressing so much of TKJs bullshit; this is making bruce actually care about barbaras injury because fuck you he *should* care, he *should* do something. and barbaras need for independence and her struggles to accept help are pretty central to her character and in a story about disability... i mean interdependence is a core tenant of disability rights activism, no man is an island and all that. but btwn it being bruce who finds richard dragon for her to train with, and richard dragon both being yknow a man and not a wheelchair user himself, it falls flat. which is really something you notice bc the rest of the story is so damn good... its hard for me to put my finger on exactly what i think they should've done instead, bc they only had 18 pages for this story and like. it's incredibly tight, not a panel wasted, so it *was* important that barbaras teacher be someone we the reader already know, and there was no *time* to establish some other way for barbara to find someone of richard fucking dragons caliber on her own without bruces connections.

but that i guess does bring me to. the other thing i find frustrating re: OYO which is just that it's. 18 pages collected with two other stories, neither of which is memorable... i mean how many other year ones of a heavy hitter like barbara freakin gordon can you think of with less than a single full issue? and batgirl year one had 9 issues (9 mediocre, mediocre issues). i dont think OYO needed that much time (but hey neither did fucking bgyo)... but come on. come on!!!!!!

anyway whatever. oracle sweep

[asheepinthenight]

i know people have their theories about what Hawks project is and if it even is a "dangerous and magical weapon". but, as a newby fan to this game of the past couple weeks, i believe i have come up with what i think the funniest "theory" could be, which is the following:

MC: "Okay. I'm just going to come out and ask this. Are you building a dangerous magical weapon for your project that ends in the Spring?"

Hawk: "Literally all of my projects, ever, have been about dangerous magical weapons."

MC: *alarms of 'oh fuck' in their head* "...Pardon?"

Hawk: "It's my Purpose. Weapons. I figure out how to build them, write notes; then I destroy them, write notes, and, finally, present to the Enclave on how to make and destroy said weapon along with ensure both parts of my work are published. Repeat. If you are worried about your safety, I would never make something I couldn't destroy. Quite unethical."

MC: "So... wait, are any of those weapons here?"

Hawk: "I just said I destroyed all of them."

MC: "But the one for the spring...?"

Hawk: "Is already destroyed. I'm editing my publication, and polishing my presentation, on how to build and destroy it at the moment."

MC: *thinking the kingdom probably would want all of Hawk's publications* "...And what happens with your publication after you're done making it? Because I don't think they're cycling through human publication networks at all." *wondering if there are Elves who do printing presses and whatnot for Elf-exclusive books and pamphlets*

Hawk: "Oh, the Enclave destroys them. Just in case. I find destroying all my notes and other paperwork boring, so I don't do that."

MC: *silently processing, is baffled*

Hawk: "If you are worried for your personal safety regarding the building and destruction of future weapons, I actually shifted my workplace to another dimension -- quite similar to one we used to go from your family's estate to our home back when we were married -- as part of my and the Enclave's preparation for me to marry a human and, uh, 'human-proof' our home, as Shea puts it. I think the proper equivalence would be that I have fully moved my work-station labratory from 'an at-home office' to a proverbial 'shed'. You, our home, and our neighbors are completely safe. As am I, but that is obvious, as I would never be stupid enough to be killed by something I made. Does that answer your question and all its tangential concerns?"

like. do i think its possible this could happen?? no, never. i have no evidence to think this could ever be what happens and have zero desire to assume it will

do i think it would be so fucking FUNNY??? yes, 100%, yes, the idea that Hawk's Purpose is just "make weapons, destroy weapons, repeat" and the reason Hawk goes to the Enclave is to info-dump everything new Hawk has learned about their special interest Purpose to literally p much their whole social-circle then give them the chore of destroying all his paperwork so Hawk doesnt have to bc destroying papers is BORING??? itd be so fucking funny. the most "well. that just answered the kingdom's fears as valid but also showed this mission DID NOT NEED TO HAPPEN AT ALL bc everything is already taken care of" solution to that plot-point of all time. i HEAVILY FUCKING DOUBT it will ever happen. but i do think its be fucking funny

Just like with other theories (serious or silly), I will neither confirm nor deny, but this is a very funny idea! Creating problems and then attempting to solve them in convoluted ways is very on-brand for Hawk, and lore-wise, a Purpose of that sort is possible. So theoretically, a plausible idea! And Hawk's Enclave acting as immortal, highly OP paper shredders every once in a while is incredibly funny.

[fastandtheformula1]

Ummmmm well, maybe this time will be angst. Y/n can't take any more of the hate that Ollie's fans give her. They always say that Y/n is jinxing Ollie bcs he has been getting bad race results lately. There was even someone who said it directly in front of her face when she came to watch Ollie's race at Monza and Ollie also accidentally heard it and maybe started to get a little angry and protective bcs Y/n doesn't deserve any kind of hatred at all.

Then she finally decided to ask Ollie to break up bcs she started to believe that she is bringing bad luck to Ollie and she doesn't want that to happen to him as she knows how passionate Ollie about racing. But of course that's impossible to happen.

Ollie had already fallen too deep for Y/n. Y/n was his childhood friend who knew almost everything about him, she's so lowkey which makes him love her even more, the one who cheered him since he went karting, the one who always understood him, who always believed in him no matter what. She was everything to Ollie and mean more than racing or championship.

Maybe you can make him a little desperate (Idk why but I'd like to see him crying😭dramatic ass) when Y/n asks him for a break up like he was probably once having a thought about how his life without racing but never imagined his life without Y/n. And maybe he's lil furious that Y/n believed in those nonsenses and even now thinking of leaving him. And the rest are yours, Queen🧚🏼‍♀️

Some proooompts:

— "I just don't love you anymore."

"What?" .... "Look me in the eyes and say you don't love me anymore."

— "You need to focus on racing, not me."

— "I need you more than a fucking championship! I will call Rene right now and tell him that I quit."

— "You don't understand, you are performing less because of m-"

"No. You are the one who don't understand. Don't you dare to say you are the cause of my bad performances."

Ollie Bearman- Choices

a/n: OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS PROMPT  ANON!!!!! I made ollie such a simp for y/n oh my lord… anyway this is somewhat of a continuation of this post… also i kinda got lazy at the end my bad 

pairing: oliver bearman x childhoodfriend!reader

summary: you and ollie have a talk about your relationship that leads your relationship downhill. 

warnings: cursing, tears, stressed y/n and stressed ollie 

word count: 1,781

not my gif!

~

“Hey, can we talk?” You both knew you needed to have this conversation, but both of you avoided it like the plague. 

When you accidentally went public with Ollie, everyone liked you. They thought you were a little on the quiet side but still sweet, and thought you and Ollie were a good match. You appeared in some of Ollie’s streams, adding funny commentary here and there and just hanging out with him. For the past year or so though, you’ve been getting more hateful comments and people have been ruder towards you.

You were never one to back down and stop what you were doing because someone was hating on you. You weren’t raised that way. If you were passionate about something, you did it all the way, not letting anything stop you. This time though, it was getting harder to ignore the bad stuff. People were constantly finding things to nitpick you for, saying how you “loved” Ollie and how you were just in it for the exposure and benefits, which was absolutely not the case. Though you expected interviewers asking about your private life, you never thought it would be this intrusive. Ollie had noticed the more hateful comments were getting to you and even put out a statement, but nothing worked. He’d been too busy racing and traveling to alleviate some of the anxiety you were feeling, so you thought this to be the best option:

Ending your relationship. 

“Um, sure.” He said, hesitantly. The outcome of this conversation was not one he’d like. He couldn’t risk losing you. You were the one person that truly understood everything he did. He truly fell harder for you than you could ever possibly fathom, and even he himself couldn’t explain into words how special you were to him. 

“I think we need to take a break.” The words came out slow and shaky, fear crawling its way through your words. 

“W- what?”

“I just, I- I don’t have feelings for you anymore.” You cringed to yourself. You were completely lying to his face. And he could see it. 

“Bullshit. Is this about what that article said the other day? I swear to God, I’ll find whoever wrote it and-”

“Ollie, stop.” Your voice was stern, scaring him a little bit. 

It was about the article, but you didn’t want to cause any drama or bad press around him, having the media calling him a hothead and other terrible names they could come up with. So you opted to tell him that you didn’t love him anymore. That you “lost feelings” when you felt the complete opposite. You wanted nothing less than waking up next to him and his unruly hair, softly waking him up as you combed through his curls.

Which was exactly how Ollie was feeling, too. He never understood how much your daily checkups and silent support really meant to him, you asking him if he was alright when he was at his darkest, and being there for him during the height of his career. You were always there, a constant in his ever changing life. 

“Don’t make this harder than it already is. Please. I just don’t love you anymore.” You fidgeted with your hands as you went to find your phone. You wanted this conversation to be cut and dry, but it wouldn’t turn out that way. He rushed in front of you and lifted your chin with his finger. You kept your gaze anywhere else but him. 

“Look me in the eyes and say that again.”

The room was quiet, so tense that you could hear both of your shallow breaths. His eyes never left yours as you contemplated your answer. 

“Ollie, your fans hate me. So does your team. It seems like you’re the only one that doesn’t.” You remembered one conversation where some woman came up to you and told it to your face.

“Hi. You’re Y/N, Ollie’s girlfriend, right?” Some lady asked when you were watching a few drivers qualify on the TV screens in Ollie’s garage. “I am, yeah.” “Let’s hope you leave before he starts qualifying.” She laughed lightly.  “Excuse me?” “You’ve seen his quali position versus his starting one when you’re here, right? Oliver’s place always goes down a few positions.” “Oh, well I don’t-”  “I think then I’m the problem, ma’am. My girlfriend’s not the one driving the car.” Ollie came up from behind you, putting his arm around you.  “Oh well. My apologies, then. Have a good one, Ollie.” The woman turned around and walked away. “The hell was that about?” “Dunno. She just came up to me and started talking.” “If someone else says something like that to you, tell me and I’ll-” “Ollie. Just focus on racing right now, okay?”

He threw his hands in the air. “Love, what are you-”

“Think about it. Ever since we got together, you’ve had bad race results. Your car’s been breaking down more often. For fuck’s sake, you almost died, Ollie! When we were just friends that never happened! And now,” You took a breath. “I’m just a distraction, okay? I-”

“How dare you fucking say that. You are not the cause of my bad performances, Y/N! I am!” 

Tears started to form in his eyes. How could you say that about yourself? How could you ever think that? Not for a second did he think you were a distraction. All you ever did for him was make sure he was at his best. Sure, he was getting bad results recently, but you certainly weren’t the cause of it. Hell, you were keeping him focused on not crashing if anything.

“You need to focus on your championship and I need to focus on school.” You shoved past him, grabbing your keys from the counter. 

“That’s what you’re worried about? A fucking championship, Y/N?!” 

“Ollie, that’s your dream! You’ve wanted that since you were a kid! Why are you letting me get in the way of it?” 

“I need you more than I want that stupid championship.”

Shaky breaths erupted from both of you. You knew he was right. He had told you that his priorities had changed. Then it hit you. Was that the reason he was performing so badly at races? Was he racing badly so he’d lose his contract and he’d finally be able to spend time with you? 

After a few minutes you decided to leave. There was no way in hell that you were going to be the reason he lost his contract. Walking towards the door, you mentally checked if you had everything to stay the night elsewhere. 

Ollie caught onto you, following after you. “No. No. Don’t leave. Please.” He grabbed onto your wrist, his eyes pleading you to stay. You’d never left after a fight, always wanting to work it out before you guys went to do something else. This time though, you felt like you had to.

“Just trust me, okay? I’ll be back.” Honestly, you weren’t sure if you were going to. You turned around, reaching for the doorknob, but Ollie was quick enough to slide in front of it.

“I will… I will call Rene right now and tell him that I quit, okay?” He pulled out his phone, hands shaking, and started to search for Rene’s number. “Just don’t…please stay.” Desperation was clear in his voice. As he found it, you scooted past him and slipped out the front door, speed-walking to your car. 

“Baby, no. Please. Where are you going?” You heard him shout as you got into your car. You had left and he was unsure, for the first time, that you might not come back.

~

4 missed calls from ollie 🐻 💗

2 voicemails from ollie🐻 💗

Hi Y/N. Look, I need to… Just, just please call me back please. I want to work this out, okay? I love you. 

Babe, please call me back. I’m getting worried. Just let me know you’re okay. Please. I love you. 

You shut off your phone and sighed, laying back down on the bed, groaning. 

“Still haven’t told him where you are?” Arthur’s voice made you jump, reminding you that you weren’t alone. 

You shook your head. “No.” Arthur laid down next to you on your -his- bed. You had crashed at his house for the night, telling him what happened through broken sobs and tears.

“I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but I think you should tell Ollie where you are. Or just text him. The guy’s been worried sick, Y/N. He can’t sleep, eat. Even Jak can’t get him out of bed,” Arthur said.

Fuck, you thought. 

~

You unlocked you and Ollie’s door for the first time in what felt like months. As you shut the door close, your eyes met Ollie’s brown ones. He was standing a few feet away from the door, his eyes wide open as he tried to figure out if you were actually standing in front of him. Tension in the room was off the charts. 

Arthur was right, he looked terrible. Nothing in the apartment had changed since you left, with the exception of a few blankets strewn around the floor. Ollie rushed towards you, dropping whatever he was holding, it clattering to the floor as his arms snaked around your waist tightly. He was afraid if he let go of you a second time, you wouldn’t come back for certain. You felt his entire body relax against yours, as yours did the same. He burrowed his head into your neck, softly placing kisses on your skin. 

“You came back.” His voice was deep and relieved. 

“Momentarily.”

“What?”

“I’m gonna move out, Ollie.”

“What? No, you- you can’t.”

You got out of his grasp and hurried towards your room, and started to pack your things through your blurred vision. 

“What’re you doing? Just stop.” He started to unpack the things you started to.

“This isn’t your decision to make, Ollie. Okay?!” 

The room went quiet, the silence so deafening you swore you were alone. You pinched the bridge of your nose; you knew he didn’t deserve this. He was the one you always saw yourself with in the end. What happened? 

Ollie walked over to you; he towered over you like he always did. “You’re really going then?” 

You nodded. “I’ll have Arthur pick up the rest of my stuff.” You scratched the back of your neck. You didn’t know what else to say. You saw a tear drip to the floor as he nodded. 

You picked up your stuff and led yourself out, Ollie following closely behind. 

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

“Bye, Ollie.”

[starbuckaroo]

I think I would be happier w bucktommy all these episodes down the line if Tommy still interacted with or asked after Eddie. I know there’s a lot the show doesn’t put onscreen so there’s no reason why it couldn’t have plausibly happened or couldn’t still happen (and I hope it does), but Tommy was Eddie’s friend first! They hung out a lot!

And yet, since he got together with Buck, we haven’t gotten to see them interact.

Granted, there hasn’t been a lot of screen time for Tommy and that’s fine, it’s a short season w very little room to breathe. This isn’t some sort of angry anti bucktommy tirade. But it does make me just a tad uncomfortable the way things are at this moment. Bc it’s not a stretch to theorize that maybe Tommy was hoping things Eddie might go somewhere and when they didn’t, he tried with Buck. I don’t think that’s supported by the text, but it’s also not negated, either. Idk. It’s not a huge deal at the moment, just a little snag?

Listen I am a buck fan but I am an eddie fan!!!!!!! And I am so so sad for eddie this season it’s been rly fucking rough on him! Not like buck needs to change anything (except not be a jealous freak and lash out physically if he can’t use his words), like I said I’m here for bucktommy I think they’re great. But like. Where’s the awkward “hey how do we hang out now that you two make out sometimes” or whatever?? We deserve to see that tbh! It’s a more common issue in queer circles, that ppl have to slip in and out of romantic/platonic interactions when people partner up or break up. It’s also the first time either of them have dated anyone within the LAFD and so it’s the first time this could ever have even come up!

Idk man. Just I keep thinking about how happy eddie seemed when he was hanging out w Tommy and maybe it’s just bc that ep was meant to be from Buck’s pov but i don’t know what’s worse, thinking it WAS real and now he doesn’t get to have that friendship anymore or that it WASNT real and he was never actually having that good of a time.

MY REAL POINT is that anyone who WAS or IS a buddie shipper or anyone who likes Eddie at all has to acknowledge how important buck and eddie are to each other, right? Which means that in any relationship that either of them ever have, if they want it to be serious and have long term potential, they actually need to integrate their partner with their best friend.

Maybe this is too weird for some ppl? It’s always seemed like a given, like if there’s someone new and important in my life, I def want my best friend to meet them and like them bc I want us all to be able to spend time together! I don’t want to feel split between them all the time! And esp with Tommy already having connections with most of the 118/main cast, and particularly Eddie, it would make sense for us to see them interacting!

Idk. I’m probably wanting too much from my network tv show lol I just. I will literally never take bucktommy seriously as a pairing if they don’t manage to address the Eddie of it all. And not in a “address the fact that buck loves him” contrived jealousy nonsense. I mean address the fact that their lives are bound together! And it predates anyone that either of them will ever date! Plus imagine the character growth it would take for Buck to send Tommy to Thursday basketball with like a plate of cookies and orange slices or something but not show up himself. Be like “have fun with the boys, slap Eddie’s ass for me” or whatever 😂 I would believe Buck was finally on his way to being ready for a long term adult relationship if they managed that, is all I’m saying