#which is fine. i am not entitled to a response

[thebestbooksaround]

"I stopped writing fic because no one engaged with it or came into my askbox to discuss it" and "I left emoji comments and sent an ask to a writer discussing their fic but never got a response even though they answer other asks" and "I get really nice comments but never know how to respond to them" are all fandom experiences that can coexist!

[homophyte]

truly disquieted at how quickly some spaces have taken up the ‘anyone who talks about bigotry is a sad person and that they care about stupid pointless stuff shows how sad they are’ thing . i dunno about that one fellas

[formulafics]

★ DO I WANNA KNOW? | JB22

Scenario: in which a series of unexpected events, starting with being stuck in the same hotel room with a single bed, takes teammates yn ln and jenson button from major rivals to lovers.

Pairing: jenson button x fem!reader

A/N: no one asked for this but LAWD I LOVE JENSON BUTTON. i had to do something about it 😔 shoutout to @renarots for supplying memes and 4 am brain rot that contributed to the making of this fic and most of my other ones too

NOTE: yn and jenson drive for mercedes (i had to do this for my own sanity)

racing_news

liked by buttonnation, sebrrari, and 12,432 others

racing_news jenson button responds to questions about his relationship with teammate yn ln following this weekends rumors.

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formulawrld idec about the rumors jenson looks so fine bro

formulavettel i bet seb knows all the tea about them. sebastian please spill

webbersebberf1 🤨 surely they could have just gotten another room? they have the money for it. idk, me thinks they’re dating and trying to keep it secret

⤷ ferrarilvr LITERALLY. you genuinely cannot convince me that they aren’t dating after this

⤷ shumione you genuinely thing they’re together even with how much they clearly don’t like each other?

⤷ ferrarilvr 🤷🏻‍♀️ things change and honestly i feel like they’ve had feelings for each other and just didn’t want to admit it

It had been three months since the “hotel incident”. Finally, you texted him. You weren’t sure what to expect from him, but you were ultimately relieved by his response, and didn’t wast a single moment on making your way to him.

With each step you take, a small splash sounds beneath your feet. Rain patters on the ground, and you pull your jacket closed in an attempt to shield yourself from the cold gust of wind that blows through the night. Each stride is powerful and determined - the truth is, you like Jenson. What once was a deep disdain for the man has somehow formed into a blossoming adoration for him. Miscommunications and mistakes lead you down the wrong path with him, but ever since the night of the “hotel incident” — as you, Jenson, and your team call it — you haven’t been able to see him in a bad light.

“Look, i’m sorry,” Jenson says, his expression softer than it had ever been towards you. You were almost offended, thinking he was about to try and make you feel bad, but that wasn’t the case. “You’re more than welcome to go - actually, i’ll pay for your hotel room if you want to leave, but if you’re choosing to stay, i’ll give you your space.” It was unlike him, at least, the him that you knew. He seemed remorseful and genuine, like you and him were anything but rivals. It made your heart beat just a little faster in your chest, and you couldn’t deny how strangely right it felt to be in the same bed with him. Even sharing the room was almost natural.

You turned away from each other to change, but both of you were guilty of peeking over your shoulder. Your eyes lingered for longer than you��d ever admit, but the same went for him. Neither of you could muster the courage to say anything, to address the tension between you both, and despite what should have been an awkward atmosphere, you both found yourselves comfortable in each others presence, even with the weight of your forbidden thoughts.

Not much happened after that, truthfully. Things did change though. Suddenly, his presence didn’t irk you, and you could never get on his nerves. You worked together more willingly, almost volunteered, and through those minor changes, you both came to realize how wrong you’d been about the other. Sure, Jenson had his moments, but he was sweet, a genuine and polite guy. You weren’t entitled the way Jenson thought - in fact, you were humble, kind…and how could he ever not see just how beautiful you are?

He doesn’t know the answer to that, but now, knowing that you’re moments away, he finds himself anxious. In a good way. He’s excited to see you, and he laughs to himself about how ironic that is given how he used to dread seeing you. A knock on his door draws him back to reality, and he knows it’s you. Outside of the hotel room, you wait impatiently, and breathe a sigh of relief when he finally opens the door. Instanly, like an instinct, you step forward and wrap your arms around him, nuzzling into his warmth. His reaction is just as instinctive, and he wraps his arms around you, guiding you into the privacy of his room.

For the first time, you talked. Not yelled, not argued, just spoke to one another. It was a completely different experience for the two of you, one that you never thought would come of your relationship, but it came to you naturally. The warm touch of his hand holding yours, the somehow assuring and slightly intimidating way he looked at you as you spoke, the way he didn’t just listen to you, he heard you. And, you did the same for him. Though he didn’t have much to say, you listened and heard, and soon, you felt as though you’d only just met him, yet known him for years. Not the rival Jenson, but a Jenson you could get used to, one that you didn’t back away from when he leaned in.

It was a small, sealing kiss that he placed on your lips. One to really ensure that all of this was happening, that things were changing between the both of you, and you both accepted it, with a weight lifting off of your shoulders.

mercedesamgf1

liked by the.ynln, jensonbutton, and 265,672 others

mercedesamgf1 last time in Abu Dhabi…

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hereforbutton okay but are jenson and yn dating? PLEASE TELL US

formulaobsessed ARE YOUR DRIVERS DATING? YES OR NO?

⤷ mercedesamgf1 🤭

⤷ hereforbutton okay so what the fuck does that mean

formulayn we do NOT care about jenson rn where is my wife

mercamgfan maybe this time don’t prioritize the inferior driver 🙏🏻 yn deserves her wdc

hereforyn i’m so scared that this race is gonna send yn and jenson back into their rival arc

⤷ jensonbuttonlvr NO WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT. i cant handle them going back to rivals now

⤷ ynsgirlie i know. now that we have them being nice, i can’t imagine going back to what they used to be

mercedesamgf1

liked by the.ynln, jensonbutton, nicorosberg, and 346,789 others

mercedesamgf1 OUR WORLD CHAMPION ❤️ an exceptional performance from yn today, and a well deserved win. thank you for another amazing year, @/the.ynln

view all 5,678 comments

the.ynln i’m gonna cry 💔 thank you guys so much.

formulayn THATS MY FUCKING WIFE IM SO PROUD OF HER

buttonynamg MY BABIES P1-P2 IN WDC IM SO PROUD RIGHT NOW

formulaobssesed who’s here after the post race interview? 🤭

⤷ markwebba I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA FALL IN LOVE

⤷ jensonsbutton bro jenson was heart eyes for her in the whole interview and the way he kissed her cheek when she started talking about their relationship 💔 he was so gentle

⤷ hereforbutton what got me was her getting emotional about the win and him hugging her like :( i was always hoping they’d start getting along but i did not expect them to become like this

🏷️: general taglist | @renarots @jsjcue @illicitverstappen @lovstappen @minkyungseokie @treehouse-mouse

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for trying to get my grandparents to plan for when I leave?

(sending this 3/27/24 in case dates/timelines are important or something)

I (20X) am planning to move in with my brother in the very near future (like within a month or two), and I'm also planning to take some college classes at the local community college starting this fall. I've been worried about my grandparents because they're both in their 70s (my grandma is 74, my grandpa turns 77 next month) and have some disabilities. It's important to note I've lived with them almost my entire life, and their disabilities have gotten worse as they've aged. Because they're disabled, I do a lot of stuff around the house for them. This makes me worried about what they'll do when I leave and how they'll navigate because I feel like they're dependent on me.

My grandpa's been out of town for the past week and got back last night, so I mentioned today that I want him and my grandma to plan for when I leave. The response was basically "we'll be fine, go live your life" and "we've never had an empty nest before" and the empty nest comment honestly just seems like it proves my point?

One of the issues is my grandparents babysit my cousins a lot (the youngest being 2 months old, the oldest being 10) and they especially get dependent on me when they're babysitting. Additionally I'm planning to completely cut all contact with them because they've been emotionally abusive for as long as I can remember (even sometimes getting physically abusive to myself, my brother, and my dog). I haven't told them about this yet, mostly because I feel like they'd freak out (they are the type to say they're the people who raised me so they're entitled to whatever from me).

I feel like a bit of an asshole for even telling them to plan out what they're gonna do when I leave because they have kids around town, which is where the empty nest comment came from I think. But on the other hand, my grandpa leaves the house a lot without my grandma, and my grandma can't get around very well, partly because she had a stroke back in 2010 that messed up her balance. I'm primarily worried that something will happen to her and nobody will be around to help her out. Additionally, their kids have lives and jobs of their own, so there's no guarantee they'd be able to get their kids' help if they need it.

They're so insistent that they don't need a plan that I'm tempted to have them act like I don't exist for a week and see how they do.

I also have generalized anxiety disorder, in case that's relevant. Both of my grandparents know about this diagnosis.

TLDR: AITA for trying to get my grandparents to make a plan for when I leave, despite them having their kids around town?

[ettelenethelien]

1st age Beleriand dashboard Simulator

🌫️ mithrim-noldo following

Yeah, Thingol kind of flew off the handle with banning Quenya and all that, but why on Arda are people now justifying the Kinslaying in response?? have some nuance and also, that's just plain horrible.

✨ btw-this-is-hopeless following

hope it's fine to copy your tags, mithrim, because they're great:

#I mean I know this is probably because they've taken part in the kinslaying themselves #but #can't you just admit you did wrong and move on? #in so far as it is possible because of course forgetting would be disrespectful and unwise #because the consequences are with us still #but it should be way more comfortable than being on your defences all the time #always ready to rationalize or deny #with a conscience you cannot silence

✴️ eightpointedstar83

I am tired of typing this out again and again but Alqualondë could have been averted had the teleri been less self-centred and readier to cooperate. Thingol is just another example of this attitude. But of course, please deny that the third clan is what it is and pin the blame on the people who saved everyone's skins.

We have done nothing wrong and yet our own people are turning on us. One day you will rue this.

Long live the house of Fëanor!

💝 heart-in-a-box

This is just the sort of behaviour OP was talking about.🤦‍♀️

🌫️ mithrim-noldo following

Admittedly, this seems to be a fanatical Fëanorian and more committed than the average apologist of his/her own actions - but yes.

#current events #thingol's quenya ban #my post

11,062 notes

🧝🏼‍♂️maglorfeanorion following

finished another canto of the noldolante today

🌖 hunters-moon

you have a tumblr account??!

🧝🏼‍♂️ maglorfeanorion following

do I know you?

🌖 hunters-moon

yes :)

🧝🏼‍♂️ maglorfeanorion following

wait - yeah, I do...

which of the twins are you?

🌖 hunters-moon

how did you know😮???

👨🏻‍🦰red-haired-twin

he looked through your blog, nitwit :)

🧝🏼‍♂️maglorfeanorion following

I guess I shouldn't be surprised to find you two out of all possible people on here...

so - which is which?

36 notes

🌸 a-flower-in-the-snow following

himring winters are horrible and I hate my parents for bringing me to middle-earth

#rant #children of exilse #i meant #children of exiles #coe

4 notes

🏞️ the-wide-earth-unexplored following

Y'all weren't joking when y'all said the Sirion is impressive...

(more photos under cut)

read more

#photography #nature photography #nature #sirion #falls of sirion

213 notes

🖼️ wonder-the-earth

is it still a secret city when everyone is talking about it?

👰🏼‍♀️ celebrin following

that's a good question

21 notes

👤 incessant-leaves following

It makes me sick to see all those positive nostalgic posts about the Mereth Aderthad. How pretty the pools of Ivrin were or weren't doesn't change the fact that THE NOLDOR WERE HIDING THE TRUTH ABOUT THE KINSLAYING THE WHOLE TIME. Yeah "everyone was kind" back then. You were feasting together with people whose cousins you had killed and have the audacity to complain they don't like you as much anymore. I don't care if you're a Sinda or a Noldo who "didn't take part in it" - if you say anything positive about it I'm blocking you.

#mereth aderthad #the truth about ivrin

159, 307 notes

💎 lord-maedhros-is-the-true-king

Things they don't want you to know about Fëanaro:

read more

157 notes

🏹 huntingprincess following

with all due respect, gondolin is the most boring place in the world.

🌼 golden-flower

it's not. but you're entitled to your opinion.

🌌 daughterofdoriath following

if only all debates on here were as civil...

👤 incessant-leaves

OP is a kinslayer apologist. Didn't you check that out before you started praising them?

🌌 daughterofdoriath following

*throws hands up*

I was admiring that one exchange.

(and this was actually more about @golden-flower's response than about OP)

*sighs*

#this site...

2009 notes

image used for Sirion: link

[lemonlover1110]

Baby Steps

Satoru Gojo

[Chapter 12] Dilemma

← Previous Chapter - Story Masterlist - Next Chapter →

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Happy to co-host Gojo NSFW Week 2023! Come join us on Twitter!

“When am I going to meet your parents?” Is a question that you ask Satoru too much. It feels as if it’s the hundredth time you ask the question. And every time he answers it, it’s vague. He never gives a clear response. Each time you ask and don’t get a clear response, you get more and more pissed off. 

You try to think the way he does to understand his side of things, but you can’t simply understand it. You’re not asking him to be your boyfriend– Although in some ways he acts like one. Either way, you’re not asking him to introduce you as his future life long partner (although a child is a lifelong commitment) or anything. You’re carrying his child, and his family deserves to know that. He hasn’t told you about having no contact with his parents, so you’re rather curious as to why he’s putting this off. 

“Do you want a sandwich, babe?” Satoru asks, making you cross your arms. An exasperated sigh leaves your lips before you say,

“I asked you a question. You can’t keep ignoring it.” His back is turned on you, his face to the stove as he prepares his food. He feels you glare at his back, but he’ll act as if everything is fine. “C’mon, Satoru. I’m not getting any younger. Neither is the baby I’m carrying, and they’ll pop out at any minute.”

“We still have a long way to go before the baby is here.” He argues. You scoff before standing up from the chair and walking to your bedroom, slamming the door behind you so he can hear loud and clear that you’re not pleased with him.  Yet he isn’t going to do more than just eat his food before going to work, acting as if the conversation never happened.

He’ll make sure to have a plate of food ready for you before leaving. Something that you can quickly warm up in case you get hungry. Which he knows you will since lately you’ve been eating a lot.

-

Satoru comes home to find you in the living room, folding some clothes. You don’t bother to stand up to greet him since you’re mad at him. Either way, you don’t have to stand up to greet him since you’re not dating or anything. You just happen to be pregnant with his child.

He walks over to you, leaning down to kiss your forehead. That usually makes you greet him, but today you stay silent. Satoru knows why you’re mad at him, yet he chooses to act dumb. Maybe it’ll just make him seem like a dumb fool to you, and make you feel guilty for being mad.

“Did you like the food I made?” Satoru asks, not really noticing that the food sits untouched on the table. Just as he left it. He doesn’t receive an answer, just as he expected. He takes off his shades, tossing them onto the coffee table before sitting down next to you. He begins to grab your clothes and help you fold your clothes. Around half the clothes are folded, and that’s when he asks, “Are you mad at me?”

You exhale, clearly annoyed. You stand up, leaving your clothes on the couch and walking to your bedroom. He begins to follow you, acting oblivious as to why you’re so mad. This isn’t the first time you get frustrated over the situation, but it’s the first time that you clearly show him that you’re unhappy with it.

You slam the door to your room shut, and he’s quick to open it. He pays for the apartment, he feels entitled to be able to open the door whenever he wants. “C’mon talk to me.”

“C’mon talk to me.” You mock, sitting down on your bed. He chuckles at your horrible impression of him before he grabs your hand and pulls you up from the bed. Your lips are pursed together, your brows furrowed. His hands cup your face while he looks into your eyes. You end up forcing yourself to look away. “You should know, Satoru. I know you’re not fucking dumb.”

“Why are you so insistent on meeting them?” He questions. His words hurt more than you could ever imagine. You’re extremely emotional lately. Tears pool up in your eyes, and you try your best to hold them back. “It’s not so important–”

“Are you ashamed of me–” Your voice breaks, and it makes Satoru’s heart flutter. He didn’t mean it to come out like that. “I get I’m not the most ideal person but I’m still carrying your child, Satoru. You can’t just keep me hidden forever.”

“No. No. I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t mean it like that.” He clears up before you start crying. But it’s too late. He feels tears go from your cheeks to his thumbs. Never before had he felt a feeling as agonizing as your tears on his fingertips. Satoru cares a lot about you, after all, you are carrying his son so he’s bound to care. 

His hands go to yours and he begins to guide you to the mirror in your room. He forces you to look at yourself, while he hugs you from behind. You’re still in tears, and he feels his heart shrinking. “Just look at how beautiful you are.”

You can’t even bring yourself to even look at yourself. It’ll make you cry even more. You weren’t so sentimental before, but each and every day that’s changing. Anything can make you cry– Happy or sad. Satoru’s hands go to your bump, his thumbs rubbing circles on it, “So beautiful, so smart, so hardworking, so responsible, so kind. How are you not the most ideal person?”

He kisses the back of your neck. He’s so tender with you. He has to be. What kind of monster would he be if he treated the mother of his child coldly. You do as he wishes and begin to look over yourself. Your body is ever-changing, not feeling like your own anymore. Yet Satoru gives you doting eyes every time he looks at you.

“How could I ever be ashamed of you when you’re so beautiful?” He continues, covering your neck in gentle kisses. He acts so loving, yet you don’t understand why he’s so avoidant on meeting his parents. 

“Then why do you not want me to meet them?” You question. He’s flattering you, and while you know why he’s doing it, you also want answers. “You can’t just hide from them the fact that you’re having a kid.”

“It’s not about you. It’s about them. My parents didn’t really pay a big part in my life, so why should they play any part in my child’s life?” Satoru answers. It’s true, but at the same time there’s so much more than that. He doesn’t want anyone in the Jujutsu world to find out about him becoming a father. That puts you and his baby in danger, which is the last thing he wants. Only Megumi and Tsumiki know, but he knows nothing will come out of their mouths, mainly because they’re yet not connected with anyone in the Jujutsu world, apart from himself. They’re just kids. “Can’t it be just us?”

“Are you sure they don’t want to be grandparents? I feel like you’re lying to me…” You confess. He turns you around and pecks your lips. He kisses your cheek. Then the tip of your nose. He kisses all over your face.

“Trust me. I’m doing this for our own good.” He tells you. He kneels down and presses a kiss on your bump. “And for our little one. Anything for him.”

“Okay… I’ll trust you– Did you just say him?!” You realize what he said. You stand shocked, your eyes a bit wide and your mouth opened. He realizes his mistake– Not the first time it happens, sadly. He stands up and wraps his arms around you, a laugh leaving his lips.

“Surprise.” He says in between laughs. He sounds so happy. You hug him back and shut your eyes. 

You just hope that everything will turn out fine in the end. Both your pregnancy and your relationship with him.

🏷 @witchofoe @cactustattoo @kageyamaslittleroyal20 @mykyoon @sunjayist @fonkymonkeyfriday @lilith412426 @luvs-wrld @witchymermaid12 @fi106 @distractionforyourthoughts @dearsunaa @tamak00 @watyousayin @leiriswhore @q-the-rockaholic @shuxjodie @syynnaaah @kleeboomed @shrekmwa @bakugobiddies @blueeskies17

[queenshelby]

Yes! Mr Murphy (Rewritten)

PART 25: THE VISIT

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Lots of Angst, Age Gap, Teacher x Student, Pregnancy Loss, Infertility

Cillian’s PoV (starting with a little backflash)

As soon as Dermont hung up on Cillian, Cillian jumped out of bed and got dressed. He told Kit that he had to get to the airport right away and, of course, that night, she wanted to know what was wrong.

“Did something happen with Nina?” she asked concerned but Cillian shook his head while throwing his clothes into his small carry-on suitcase.

“No. I mean yes…” he stammered while ensuring that he did not forget anything in the room, which included his tablet, wallet and travel documents.

“No? Yes?” Kit asked. “That’s not an answer Cillian!” she then said before telling him that she was going to go to the airport with him, regardless of what happened.

“Y/N is in hospital. She had surgery and I need to see her” Cillian reluctantly explained after Kit would not relent and that, of course, made her sigh with frustration.

“Jesus” Kit spat, annoyed. “What’s wrong with her?” she then asked, pretending to care but Cillian did not know as, by this point, Dermont had no idea why you collapsed.

***

The following morning and after having been denied visitation the night before, Cillian arrived at the hospital as early as possible, being 8 o’clock, the start of visitation hours.

At this time, Nina was still in bed, catching up on some well needed sleep while her aunt, Orla, looked after her.

Connie had dropped Nina back off at Cillian’s apartment last night, after he had arrived back home just around 2 o’clock and, unsurprisingly, Nina was still awake and consumed with worry about you.

Nina was traumatised by what happened the day before, making her already increasing anxiety even worse.

Despite the fact that Connie had told Nina that you were doing fine now, she wanted to visit you and Cillian’s response to this was “let’s give her some space” without admitting to his daughter that he wanted to see you on his own first.

This was because, Cillian knew that, after what Connie had told him last night, he could not take Nina to hospital with him just yet. At least not until he spoke to you and ascertained how you were feeling. Connie had indicated to him that you may have had a miscarriage or experienced a pregnancy complication of some sort and this was something that surprised Cillian.

“There was a lot of blood Nina said and she was then transferred from the ER to the maternity ward” Connie told Cillian last night which caused his chin to drop.

“She was pregnant?” he asked with some shock and confusion as this was the first he had heard of it.

“I would say so, but I don’t know” Connie explained before running her hands over Cillian’s hands in a comforting way. “I am sorry Cill. I really am” she then told him, to which Cillian sighed.

“Fuck. I need to see her” he told her before attempting to do exactly that, without success. He was turned away by the hospital’s security staff and was told to come back the following day which, of course, he did.  

At hospital…

Thus, just ten minutes past eight and after making his way to the maternity ward, Cillian was shown to your room but, as soon as Emma saw him, she raced towards the door and prevented him from entering.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” she asked angrily after, just an hour ago, having read the article about him and Kit in the Irish Times. Clearly, he had moved on so there was no way she would allow him anywhere near you, she thought.

“I am entitled to see her, Emma!” Cillian thus told her sternly while trying to get to you, which is when Emma started to curse at him and allowed her hand to slip, leaving a red mark across his cheek.

“You’ve got some fucking nerve, don’t you?” she spat before tearing up inside. She felt as emotional as you did after almost having lost her best friend and the lack of sleep certainly did not ease her reaction towards Cillian’s attitude.

“I’ve got some nerve?” Cillian asked as he, too, was upset and confused as, by this point, he was not sure whether you were still pregnant or not.

“She almost died, alright! Because of you!” Emma cursed, being unreasonable herself as her very own emotions began to overwhelm her.

“Because of me?” Cillian asked full of rage and anger before starting to curse as well, making a scene in front of the nurses. “You just fucking…” he began, pointing the finger at Emma, before aborting his sentence. “You know what, I don’t need this shit. I am here out of curtesy, nothing more” he then told her and Emma’s chin dropped.

“Curtesy?” she asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Yes, curtesy. She is still my daughter’s dance teacher and I still care for her even though I didn’t even know that she was pregnant, alright?” Cillian told Emma while tears slowly started to build up in the corner of his eyes. “But, I assume that this was yet another thing she just did not tell me, just like her real age” he then went on to say, causing Emma’s hand to almost slip again but, luckily for you and Cillian, she restrained herself.

“Oh my god Cillian, get the fuck out of here. She doesn’t want to see you” Emma then began to tell him which is when, finally, you interrupted them both.

“Emma, it’s fine. Let him come in” you said and, with that, just after Emma had told Cillian to get lost, in no uncertain terms, he decided to confront you and if it was not for the strong painkillers you were on, you would probably have slapped him as well for how he handled the situation.

"Why did you not tell me? I did not fucking know..." Cillian said as soon as he walked into the room. He was upset and confused and somewhat hungover.

"That makes two of us Cillian! I didn't know either. Now are you done accusing me of things?" you asked after having overheard his conversation with Emma which felt like a kick in the guts for you as he made it out to be as though you probably kept the pregnancy from him on purpose.

“You did not know? I mean, how did this even happen?” Cillian then asked, panicking, as, by now, he was well and truly plagued by disruptive thoughts as well.

“We had sex” you chuckled but, unfortunately for you, as soon as you did as little as smile, your abdomen began to ache from all the incisions and stitches.

“Seriously Y/N” Cillian said, not seeing the humour in this at all while you had already made peace with your situation.

“Apparently my implant was ineffective” you then began to say, causing Cillian to interrupt you.

“You said that you were on the pill” he exclaimed before asking you what an implant was, to which, of course, you provided him with an explanation. You also told him that, during your one-night stand, you simply told him that you were on the pill to avoid any more unnecessary questions.

“I just figured that all these hormonal contraceptives are pretty much the same but, unfortunately, with mine, there was a recall in the US which I was unaware of and, as result, it became ineffective” you told Cillian before throwing around terms like ectopic pregnancy, fallopian tubes and endometriosis.

“So, you lost the baby?” he then asked cautiously, trying to make sense of all that you told him. 

“No, I lost the pregnancy Cillian. There was no baby to start with and, even if there was, you would not have had to worry about it. I grew up in foster care as you know and I most certainly would not have kept a child that I cannot, myself, support. I do not want children of my own and this was not something I lied about to you. So, no matter how much you accuse me of being untruthful to you, the only time I ever lied to you was when I lied about my age and I only kept this lie alive for so long because I knew that I would lose you if I had told you the truth” you told Cillian as your emotions finally got the better of you and you started to cry which, too, made your abdomen hurt quite a bit.

Your admissions left Cillian speechless for a minute or two and it was not until started to moan in discomfort from the pain that Cillian took your hand into his.

“How are you feeling? Should I call a nurse?” Cillian asked with concern while you clinched down hard on his hand and shifted to a more comfortable position.

“No, I will be okay” you then told him while, finally, loosing the grip you had on his hand.

“Of course you will be. You are a fighter and one of the most amazing people I know” he told you, trying to comfort you but what he said made you somewhat angry instead.

“And yet you avoided me like the plague for the past two weeks. You even resigned from the Gaity school, because of me” you spat while pulling your hand away from his.

“I couldn’t see you Y/N. I just fucking couldn’t” Cillian told you while trying to comfort you again by placing his hand on top of your forearm which also was not what you wanted him to do.

“Fair enough, but at least, you could have responded to my message about James. It was fucking urgent, you know” you cried while pushing his hand away and, just as you did, Emma approached you both to check whether you were alright.

“What message?” Cillian asked and confusion was written all over his face.

“Don’t play me Cillian” you told him nonetheless, knowing that he was a good actor.

“I don’t know what you are talking about” Cillian insisted while pulling out his phone and looking through his messages.

“I sent you a message almost two weeks ago” you told him, but he could not find any and showed you that he had never received a message from you since the night of your birthday.

“Well, James is back and he is playing hardball” you thus told Cillian before explaining to him what happened. You told him what James had said to you and talked about the threats he made, wanting to expose you both after having followed you around, all the way to Cillian’s apartment.

“James clearly the court order and now he is threatening you?” Cillian chuckled after you took about ten minutes to explain to him what happened.

“He is threatening us, not just me” you told him angrily as, seemingly, he thought that this was funny.

“Listen Y/N, James has never been the smartest. He broke his order by stalking you and if that backfires on him, he will get much more than just a bad school record. There will be criminal charges” Cillian explained which, of course, made sense.

“Okay, so what now?” you thus asked while Cillian put his phone back into back of his pocket, thereby ignoring the three missed calls he had from Kit.

“You don’t need to worry about it. I will get my solicitor to handle it. You just concentrate on getting better, alright? Because god knows those kids will not make at finals without you. At least this is what Nina tells me” Cillian joked and this, too, made you laugh uncomfortably again for which Cillian apologised.

“How is Nina?” you then asked after the pains subsided again.

“She will be okay” Cillian told you before telling you that she really wanted to see you.

“You can bring her in if you like. I can pretend not to know you much even though I am pretty high on pain meds”  you joked, really wanting to thank Nina for getting an ambulance for you and performing first aid after you passed out.

“She would love that” Cillian told you before, somewhat surprisingly, he said something else you did not expect.

“And you know that, if you do need anything, you can text me, alright?”  he told you before giving you a somewhat awkward hug, for which you had to work around all the monitors and tubes.

“Okay visiting time is over” Emma then said, watching the situation unfold and, with the view to protect you, she told Cillian that you needed your rest.

This time around, Cillian nodded and responded politely to her request for him to leave and, whilst you did not know why she was so incredibly upset with him, you were soon to find out as you picked up the paper that Emma had disposed off on the floor.

[nicollekidman]

yeah we need an immediate press release from you on ~The Prologue~

i literally do not care about it at all like. you know my stance on the usefulness/health of taylor constantly going backwards and relitigating the emotional reality of her life in the past….. but the prologue just made me really sad and reemphasizes that for the hell the media scrutiny put her through, she made it even worse for herself (i’m not saying that in a way that Blames taylor but, she pathalogically cannot and could not let things go and find out who she was outside of rumors and reputation). imagine being 24 and deciding you can never be seen with men in case it makes rumors worse, imagine building yourself a wall of female friendship while thinking, in the forefront of your mind, this will save me. it’s sad!! but like she did fully feel like an animal in a cage constantly being hunted and that’s traumatizing. so the line everyone thinks is “slamming gaylors” reads to me more like. there was nothing i could do to escape this.

i don’t care to do another whole elementary school primer on how being gay isn’t a bad thing, being straight isn’t the default blah blah blah blah but it doesn’t matter. to her, any commentary or assumptions about her personal life made from her public life was painful. which is an extremely difficult lens to live under for so long.

but at this point it’s hard for me to be like 🥺🥺🥺 about any of this when she’s currently engaged in the most obnoxious PR stint of recent memory, swiftie’s sense of entitlement and boundary crossing has only been ENCOURAGED with the “vulnerability” and retreading of old ground in the re-records, and people on twitter are like FINALLY mother is telling those dykes how disgusting and deviant she thinks they are!!!

i hope that this exercise is somehow healing for taylor, and that she’s able to experience the reclamation she’s talking about. but for me personally? i know this music. i remember who i was and what life was like when i got this music for the first time. i know how it made me feel and how it still makes me feel and all the friendship and love it’s brought into my life. i do not care for the overall project that feels, to me, like torturing taylor’s younger self AND throwing a preemptive eulogy for her. i’ve never wanted to know less about anyone in my LIFE and i hope in general that she gets what she needs from this era so she can move on and look to the future and allow herself to experience new things in both her life and music without like. the aforementioned torture.

but at the end of the day she is a pop star. my relationship to her is as a fan of a musical artist. i don’t need all of This and it’s not my responsibility to engage with the music in a way that other fans thinks will Annoy Her The Least. i am a normal person with a healthy sense of boundaries and as such it is not my responsibility to look out for what other people think is taylor swift’s mental health. so im feeling fine ❤️

[beauty-and-passion]

Two last words on the future of Sanders Sides

There is one last thing I wanted to talk about and I would like to do it in a separate post, so you can add your thoughts and we can talk about it here.

However, I also would like to avoid explaining the basics to children - i.e. why criticism is useful, that you can criticize something you love and that doesn’t mean you’re entitled, that constructive criticism is different from complaining, that criticism isn’t a personal attack on you/your loved ones and so on. I already explained these things in the past and I don’t want to repeat myself.

So if you’re old enough to understand all of this and accept to listen to some criticism, you’re welcome here. If you cannot bear it, just ignore this post. Don’t worry, I won’t get offended: we live in a free world, after all :)

So.

We all know Mr. Sanders is taking a lot of time, before releasing the season 2 finale. And we also know he’s doing other stuff, posting other videos, working on other projects and doing things in his real life too.

And that’s perfectly good. He’s free to do whatever he wants, both in his life and his work.

There is only one thing I am asking for regarding Sanders Sides, something I think he owes his followers too: transparency. Honesty. Not content, not to work on Sanders Sides only, not to follow my headcanon. Just pure, simple, free-of-charge honesty about the project that gave him most of the popularity he has today.

It took Thomas three years to finish three parts of a four-part finale: that’s the last official information we got about the SaSi main storyline. And we got it not because Thomas talked about the creative process behind the series, but because he threw this information first in a tweet talking about finishing part 3, then in a cryptic Instagram post about finishing the draft of part 1. Chronological order? Never heard of her, apparently.

But let’s put the organization problem on the side, because that’s not a novelty coming from Mr. Sanders. And let’s ignore the 200th red flag of him not wanting to talk about Sanders Sides' finale and throwing info around instead. Let’s focus just on the information that, as a writer, I find the most concerning.

If Mr. Sanders needed three years to write three videos, that means he needs one year to write one video. So he will probably need another year to write part 4. And then he has to film/edit everything and that means he will probably need another year - or more.

Therefore, in the best-case scenario, that means we will get the first part of the season 2 finale in 2025. And that’s the best-case scenario.

Okay, you may say, that doesn’t sound too bad. I mean, we waited three years, we can wait more.

Sure we can, we can wait forever if we want to. But there are two big problems: one regarding the finale itself, the other regarding the future of the series.

_________

1) The writing is taking too much time

From personal experience, I know that if writing something takes years, it’s not a good thing. And I’m talking about the specific writing part here, not the research or planning part: research/planning can take a very long time and that’s perfectly fine and normal, but the actual act of writing shouldn’t take this long. If that happens, then there’s something wrong. And usually, this shows in the final result, which is never worth the wait.

The thing is: the longer it takes to write something, the more time/memory problems will occur, i.e. inconsistencies, missed elements, personality swings etc. You know, like the ones we saw in the last Asides. And these problems become 10x bigger, without a clear outline to follow.

But hey, you may say, maybe everything is already planned! Maybe it’s taking this long, just because Thomas doesn’t have enough time to physically write!

Well, that opens another box of questions and (imho) bigger problems:

if he doesn’t have enough time, then why is he the only writer? Can’t he share his writing responsibilities with someone else?

if he’s not the only writer, then who is the other writer - or writers, if they exist? A competent expert or one of his friends? And if it’s one of his friends, then why can’t an influencer with his numbers hire an expert, who will be faster at writing, better than him and, most importantly, bias-free and not influenced by the fandom?

how does the writing process work in his team? Is there even a writing process or not?

how does his team actually work? What do they do? Is there at least one expert hired by Thomas or is the team made of just his friends?

seriously, why doesn’t he hire an expert? What did experts ever do to him? Is it so hard to find experts in the US?

And before any of you say “but he doesn’t have money”… please. Please. I saw people with way fewer numbers, followers and influence making better decisions. And they always start by hiring experts, whether they are managers, editors, cameramen or creative team members.

Also, he lives in the US, not on an island in the middle of nowhere. He can find experts if he wants to.

_________

2) The passage of time

In 2025, Mr. Sanders will be 36 years old. And if he needs even more time to release all four parts of the season 2 finale, he will easily reach 40 by the time the fourth part is out.

Age shouldn’t be a problem, everyone should be free to do anything whenever they want. But that doesn’t apply to Sanders Sides, because Sanders Sides isn’t animated: this series has real faces - Thomas’ face. And Thomas is getting too old for the roles he’s playing.

Sanders Sides’ main theme is knowing more about yourself. The theme is relatable for all ages, so the problem isn’t the theme per se. The problem is the type of characters, which cannot work for a man in his 40s.

One example: Virgil. He was still credible as an emo adolescent when he was 20 and he’s still more-or-less credible now that Thomas is 30. But will he still be credible, when Thomas is 40? Or will he look like a cringey grown-up playing the “I’m young!” part?

Sure, some men have that superpower of cutting their beard and looking immediately 10 years younger… but it cannot work forever. Thomas is growing up, he cannot revert the biological clock and look just like he was at 20.

And that’s perfectly fine, because everyone deserves to grow up, change and become more beautiful. But that also means getting too old to portray these characters and make them look credible.

So either Thomas ends the series before he reaches 40, or he shifts it into a much more mature direction, to keep up with his physical growth.

But doing that means a) losing his younger followers and b) switching from a more carefree approach to heavier episodes. And right now, I doubt this is the direction he wants to push his work to. He’s clearly more interested in small, low-effort videos and in pursuing carefree stuff like Roleslaying. And I completely understand why. Small videos don’t take a long time to make and he can talk about anything he wants, while Roleslaying has an already written story and Mr. Sanders doesn’t have to act it: he just listens to it and plays along with his friends. Also, Roleslaying has different, animated faces, so when Thomas is 40 or 50, Roman of Reston’s face will still be that of a 20yo guy. It’s much more convenient, compared to a series with a continuative plot he should keep up all by himself and heavy themes to discuss.

If I were him, I would close Sanders Sides' main storyline with the season 2 finale. Introduce Orange, wrap everything up the quickest/simplest way possible, solve all problems, the end: the series is done, you can move on/focus on the Asides.

If Thomas truly ends Sanders Sides' main storyline with the season 2 finale, I wouldn’t complain - and I highly doubt others will have much more to say. Sure, we can always complain about the abrupt end, the pitiful disorganization and the writing, but at least the main series will be over and no one will be left hanging around for eternity.

However, I don’t think Thomas will ever take this route either, because it would require enough self-awareness to realize he’s not able to handle this series and, most importantly, that he doesn’t love it as much as before. Oh, and let’s not forget that Sanders Sides is his golden goose and he clearly doesn’t want to give up the profit he makes from it.

That probably means he will never be transparent either. He will never sit down and make a video, to explain his feelings about this series. He will never clarify how the writing process works. He will never admit he doesn’t consider SaSi important anymore. He will never give proper answers. After all, he had multiple chances to do it and he never did. At this point, I doubt he will ever do it.

This is, deep down, the reason why I wanted to write my take on season 3. Because I know Mr. Sanders will never do anything of this. He will never talk about religion so openly, show something violent like a punch or normal like a kiss. I doubt he will ever address any mature topic at all. Or that he’ll be able to wrap up all the loose threads in a satisfying way, considering that, in the last Aside, he basically ditched them all.

So, I decided to write this. And by writing this, I proved myself a couple things:

That you can write something in less than 3 years. And no, that doesn’t prove I’m better than Thomas: it just proves I committed myself to this project until the end. And, in order to do that, I didn’t need to undergo 24-hour-long writing sessions either: I wrote a little bit every day, even just one single page. It was a daily effort, not a tour-de-force. And I focused on that project only, not on 20 at the time.

That you don’t need money to write. I didn’t spend one single cent to write FSS3. All I needed were a pen, some paper, a computer and willingness to commit. The computer might be a bit more expensive, but I can assure you the other things are all very cheap.

That an outline should always be the top priority. Sanders Sides has so many themes and loose threads, that closing them all without a proper plan would be insane. Heck, it was difficult for me even with an outline, just imagine without it!

But most importantly, I needed closure. After three years of nothing but empty promises, I wanted an ending. Or rather, a satisfying ending. An ending without loosened threads, an ending that wraps all these characters and gives them the growth they deserve.

And I know this probably wasn’t your perfect ending. You probably would change some things here and there - and that’s great, because you can do it. You can use FSS3 as a base from which you can start building your own ending. Now you know it’s possible to do it. Now you know you can do it, if you want.

So if you need closure, if you feel sad and angry or if you’re just full of ideas… do it. Write your own ending. Get your own closure. You deserve it.

While speaking of the canonical main series, I really REALLY hope to be proven wrong, but all Mr. Sanders is doing proves how much he doesn’t care about this series as before. He doesn’t even want to mention it anymore. Instead of acting like an adult, accepting his responsibilities and apologizing for taking this much time, he keeps showing the series under the rug and complaining every time someone lifts said rug and makes him watch what he left under it. And he does it in the most pathetic, childish, manipulative way possible.

That’s not what an adult does, let alone an adult who doesn’t feel guilty. And that proves he knows he’s not doing the right thing with SaSi. He knows he’s taking too much time and he's aware he doesn’t know how to handle the main series anymore.

So, instead of facing the truth, he ignores it, refers to the series only once in a while, uses it for jokes, flattens the plot and the characters’ personalities. Every anniversary, he talks about SaSi as if it’s something in the past. He doesn’t even mention it as part of his projects anymore. On the contrary: he started 2 whole new projects, instead of finishing the one most of his people want to see.

And that’s even more sad, considering how great the concept of SaSi is. This series has a ton of potential and wonderful characters. It can delve into deep, dark and mature discussions. It can explore relatable aspects of life and present themes people can discuss about. It’s perfect for a fandom.

But hey, if Mr. Sanders fell out of love and/or isn’t able to handle it, I do not blame him. Everyone can fall out of love with a project or not being able to handle it. No one is an expert on everything, after all.

The only thing I blame him for is the lack of transparency. It’s his inability to be open and honest with the public. It’s the lies and omissions, his hiding something and pretending it doesn’t exist anymore.

So, since Mr. Sanders seems unable to move on, I don’t want to get stuck waiting forever for him to grow up. I have other things I want to talk about, other stories I want to criticize and some I want to explore with you.

Starting from 2024, my blog won’t be just Sanders Sides-themed anymore. I will still follow this series and its fandom because I love them both (also, I might end up writing a new fiction in the future, because I love these characters too and want to give them a mature development), but I want to expand as well. I want to talk about a hilariously bad webcomic, a meaningful manga and explore a whole new series. And those are just the first three projects!

(And yes, I want to talk about the Book of Bill too, this summer. So... four projects)

If you’re a fan of Sanders Sides, don’t worry: I will still be around to talk about stuff, episodes and details of the series. And when the season 2 finale comes out, I will be there to analyze it and, if necessary, criticize it. Sure, it won’t be a full analysis nor a full critique, because I will need all four parts to do that, but I can give my two cents on each part. And I will do it even if I’m not invited, as always <3

If you do not care or do not want to follow me anymore, you're free to go. I do not want to keep you on a tight leash forever.

But if you're curious and still want to follow me, get ready: 2024 will be a busy year ;)

Thank you all for this beautiful year, thank you for your time, your appreciation and your nice words. I can't wait to meet you all in the next one.

Happy 2024

❤️

( Support me on Ko-fi )

_______________________________

TAGLIST: (this is your cue to ask if you want to be added/removed from it)

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[vympr]

my problem with bi positivity for bi women is that it is misplaced. people assume that biphobes hate bi women for talking about men because biphobes actually hate men, and so the bulk of "bi positivity" posts will be about how loving men is beautiful and holy and etc. which is fine on its own, but not adequate as a response to biphobia directed at bi women.

biphobes hate that women express our attraction to men, talk about men, and love men, not because biphobes hate men (at least not systemically; i'm sure on an individual level yes, sure, there are biphobes that hate men, but misandry is still not real and men do not face systemtic oppression as a result). at its core, it's because biphobes feel entitled to bi women's attention, time, and actions. biphobes who target and harass bi women for talking about men, fucking men, and loving men, do so because they think less of bi women for doing so. they think we are vapid, vain, promiscuous, adulterous, and callous. they think we must not really be attracted to women and that we must be performing our attraction to women for attention, or for the "male gaze", or whatever else the latest biphobic stereotype is. fundamentally it is about denying us our agency as consenting adults who make our own decisions and have our own interests. it's an intersection of biphobia and misogyny.

this is why bi woman positivity posts that center men are so frustrating to me as a bi woman, because they do not adequately tackle the root of the biphobia directed at us. when bi women are in relationships with men, it is BI WOMEN that disproportionately face the biphobia associated with us dating men, NOT the men in relationships with us.*

* i am speaking specifically about bi women dating men here because i am a bi woman drawing from my own experiences. bi men please feel free to share about your experiences with any biphobia you've faced being a bi man in a relationship with a woman in lgbt / queer spaces (if you feel comfortable sharing)

i think this is because (as usual) the ones who post the most bi women's issues are other bi women, so when we post about loving men dating men fucking men etc, it is in defiance of people who shame us for doing so. but to people who don't regularly engage with or pay attention to the other things we say, it appears as though the most revolutionary form of activism you can engage in to support bi women is....making and reblogging positivity posts about men. that's where the disconnect is, and that's what i wanted to address in this post.

i hope this makes sense but me know if you need any clarification on any points here.

[arcandoria]

In light of the last bit of Nexus User Entitlement and me still being miffed about it, let's try to make something positive out of it and shed some clarity why certain private mods cannot simply be made public (aside from, obviously, one not wanting them to be public in the first place):

Not always you can just yeet a .archive into the big world wide web. Some mods require frameworks, some mods require specific structures, some mods need to function in specific ways in order for them to be available universally. These same mods can work perfectly fine in the modder's game because it's held by duct tape and glue as the modder knows they won't put anything in their game that will break it, or they've made it using a framework that is not ideal for public release, but works just fine for their own needs, etc. 90% of my OCs are NPVs. Their mods are not made in a way I can load on PlayerV. I'd have to convert them into something else or put them in a framework. Some of my NPV clothes are badly chopped at the edge because it's going inside a specific pants or boots and I don't need to worry about that edge showing. It's just not fit for release because I didn't make it thinking about release. This is true for many, many modmakers.

A modmaker with an ounce of responsibility will want to publish a mod with a degree of proper documentation, showcase what it does / what it looks like, and offer said mod support and troubleshooting after it's released. This is a lot of work, even if you do it lazily.

There are dozens of body mods available for Cyberpunk currently. The ideal way of working for a mod that you intend to publicly release is to fit it for the vanilla/default bodies first, and adapt to the others later. Doing the inverse process is definitely doable but extremely counterproductive. So just because someone has a mod currently working on their OC, it does not mean it'll even fit another if their body types don't match. This is also true for hairs or jewelry or other accessories.

There are many ways of making certain things, and more often than not, these conflict with each other. Some body mods cannot be used alongside certain frameworks, which means a modmaker would have to either learn a new system and convert to it, or make their mod compatible to multiple options. This has to be a conscious choice from the start, or the modder has to actively decide to do all of this conversion after something is already done (which isn't necessarily hard, but still, extra work).

Feeling frustrated or upset that you cannot have a certain mod is fair. It's a human response and it's understandable. But popping a private mod into the world isn't as deal and done it might seem from a technical level - and even if it is easy, people who pour their time into a creative outlet are allowed to keep things for themselves!

I am thoroughly against refusing to help people to achieve the same/similar result of something you worked on. We are a community and helping each other is paramount to keep modding going and improving. Don't ever uphold knowledge from others, but do not feel pressured into sharing the results of your labor either.

My Cyberpunk Modding Tutorials Cyberpunk Modding Wiki Cyberpunk Modding Discord

[chronicallyuniconic]

TW: ableism, disability hate/discrimination

TLDR: the government proposed changes to benefit rules for disabled people in the aim of "getting them back to work" this has sowed so much hate that the 'people' are attacking the disabled as if we're lazy or scrounging the system, using their status as a taxpayer for reasoning.

-

-

this fucking government and the humans we're sharing society with...i swear to God, it has dragged out SO much hate in the past couple weeks regarding people with disabilities who are out of work, disabled people who receive benefits like universal credit, personal independence payment, carers allowance and motability cars, and so on

they are directly attacking disabled people as if we're choosing not to work. as if we're lazy. as if we just don't want to. as if we're turning down jobs instead of taking them, as if we're stealing from the government & taxpayers (people who have a job)

because of this, it's brought all kinds of disgusting out on my twitter page (if you go looking, I'd advise a TW for ableist & direct abusive comments). it's brought out direct hate, for stating that its nobody's business, that we deserve to live, that we should have the freedom to buy what we choose with what we do receive.

met with comments like "the taxpayer is paying for you to buy shit" "you must be obese on 40 fags a day with 2 kids" "can't stop buying takeaways" "you're just fucking lazy" "what an entitled person saying freedom to buy" "you should have the bare minimum" amongst other degrading comments. as well as these, were a majority of misinformed people, who don't have a clue how the benefits system works. it isn't easy.

if it was easy, and you supposedly receive "thousands a month," wouldn't everyone be doing it?? that response is usually met with "cos I'm not stealing from the state" "cos I'm not lazy" "cos I go to work" nah, they just know, it isn't easy, and they're not getting anywhere with it.

I dare any of those fuckers that think like this, to quit their jobs & sign up to the system. I fucking dare you. how quickly your life will fall apart. good luck if you're paying a mortgage. good luck in general.

I never thought I would end up relying on benefits. I never wanted to rely on the government. and I still don't. I hate having to ask for help. I don't know anyone that doesn't. the government know they can't just do nothing for disabled people, it's part of the social circle. disability has existed in humans for as long as humans have existed.

it's frustrating. they don't know. they don't want to know. they don't try to know. they don't try to understand. they don't care. they roll their eyes when they're told it could be them any day. and when it is, they'll realise the actual living hell it is, to having to rely on a system because.. YOU ARE UNABLE TO WORK. what is it about that phrase that evaporates over their heads.

I WAS a taxpayer. but even if I wasn't, do they think those born with permanent disabilities, which definitively leave them unable to do anything, are lazy, or "sponging" or "could just look for a job" do they blame having to pay for them too? cos they won't admit it. they can't admit their true hate, but I see it, feel it, hear it. they'd rather us dead let's be damn honest.

I have a masters degree. I was in education from aged 3 to aged 25. but since diagnosed later with permanent disability(it was always there), it means nothing, I know that, I don't need to be told by anyone else. and the jobs and experience I had, also means nothing. many dont get to have the things I had, and I'm grateful I got to, because I understand with my whole heart, how hard it is as a disabled person, to achieve anything.

they tell you "just get a job" like we haven't considered that. like we've not all tried to find the job, that is accessible, can support your needs, has the working hours you can cope with. jobs like this don't exist for the majority. one day I am fine, the next 7 days I might be incapacitated. I might only be okay between the hours of 3am to 6am one day, and 3pm to 4pm the next. employers especially, do not care for that. at all. they cannot cope with the fluctuations of a disabled person. we are all absolutely individual, even with the same diagnoses. employers are not set up, supported or provided with the education, to allow disabled people into their business.

"if you can write, text, tweet, upload on your phone, then you can do a job" I'd love to attach a picture of my positioning and setup but honestly I'm past giving evidence to these asshats. they forget about text to speech, my screen scrolls with my eyes, screen reads back to me, there's a bunch of adaptability and accessibility they don't care or even know about.

so..even if we do find that one in a billion job, we have to get there. I can't do anything without someone driving me. I'm physically not able. but they don't care about that either.

work from home, they say. i don't tolerate screens well, migraines have been a huge fluctuating problem because of epilepsy. I can't sit up for very long at all, i am 90% bed and housebound, only really leaving my home for appointments. i cannot process a big influx of information anymore, my brain is like swiss cheese, I cannot read or take in the things that are important, in order for me to carry out my job. I rely on another person for the majority of my day.

any job we would find, would never allow us to rise through the ranks, to improve our standing and footing on the ladder, to ever experience a payrise or be treated like your non disabled peers.

it doesn't matter to them either, that the impact of the job can and usually does, affect the person's disability negatively. when your life only involves your job, it's not your life, is it?

it doesn't matter to them that the impact of working can lead many people to become so bad they can't work anymore. (hello, waves, me!!)

they expect you'll just get over that permanent problem. or you will work through it in a couple days. they don't understand constant symptoms, debilitating symptoms, twenty four hours a day symptoms. symptoms that incapacitate you. but they expect you to work through it anyway.

that's not how it works.

I was told "take up a hobby and get paid for it" why?? are you? are building lego and selling it? are you gaming on your computer and selling that? why should I use my fun time, my hobby, as an income. of which, the income would be so minimal, it would never cover rent, it would unlikely buy any food shopping at all, because ...it's a hobby. it's not my job. why would I sacrifice my hobbies, when you don't have to? my hobby, is also not my worth.

who's setting up the website and shop for my hobby? who's managing the orders? who's posting them? I made one hobby last week so have been unable to make 3 more hobbies, who's managing for that??

I hate this government for every hateful, spiteful, cold, calloused, manipulative, condescending, degrading, inhumane comment.

it's not even anger, it's like a complete state of fed up mixed with disappointment, lack of community on the issue, sadness of people's reactions, to disabled people.

I'd love for them to look my mother in law with stage 4 cancer, in the eyes and tell her to just get a job, after 38yrs of employment.

absolute cretins. the worst of humanity.

sorry it's so long, I am just 😪🥱😮‍💨😮‍💨

[snakebites-and-ink]

Positions - Part 1

Yes, I skipped chapter 8 for now because it was giving me trouble. It was basically a filler chapter so it’s fine to skip and come back to later. All you really need to know is Asher went on another casual outing with some coworkers, so he’s been having some somewhat-positive interactions that aren’t just work.

I was gonna add more leadup at the beginning of the scene, but…I got a little stuck. So I’m just gonna drop you right into it. You’ll figure out what’s going on, it’s pretty straightforward if you have any familiarity with the BBU.

CW: BBU, pet whump, bullying

“Position 12.”

The command was all too familiar, even though it was coming from someone who had no right to give it. Asher’s training was so ingrained into him that he started to move into position automatically. His knees bent and he started to slightly lower himself towards the ground before he caught himself and straightened.

“Well? I’m waiting.”

Asher shot him an angry frown. “You’re not my owner.”

“Maybe not, but I’m not a pet and you are.” The man smirked.

“You don’t have the authority to give me orders like that without my master’s permission,” Asher asserted.

“Then why did you start getting into position?”

“That was out of habit, not obedience.”

“‘Not obedience?’ Sounds like someone isn’t a very good pet.” The man stepped closer and placed a threatening hand on Asher’s shoulder, then shoved him down. “Position 8.”

Asher’s knees hit the floor as the shove sent him towards the ground faster than he could react, but before he actually assumed the position, he twisted and stood back up. He glared at the other man.

“You really should do as you’re told, Asher.” He stepped closer and flicked the metal tag dangling from Asher’s collar.

Asher took a step back but resisted the ever-present automatic urge to placate. That was often the best strategy, but in this case it would just encourage this kind of behavior, which had already gone on long enough. “You really should mind your own business. I already told you, you don’t have the authority for this.”

“Come on, pet, don’t you want to be good?”

That was unfair. Asher scowled at him. “I am good. Just not for anyone like you.”

Asher tried to walk away, only to have his path blocked. He stopped, wary of being pushed towards the floor again, or possibly even risking worse violence.

“Let me go. Please.” The please just slipped out automatically, but it drew an almost vindicated smirk from the other man.

That didn’t last long, though. The drama had drawn the attention of a few other people, a couple of whom were properly within earshot by now. One of them stepped closer and grabbed onto the guy’s arm before he could make another move. “Just let him go, seriously. You’re being a jerk.”

Asher watched quietly, with a hint of nervousness. His attacker looked angry but didn’t seem to have a retort. Probably because his “justification” for what he was doing would just make him sound like the jerk he was accused of being.

“Come on, aren’t you both supposed to be working?” Another chimed in.

“Yeah. You should get back to work,” the jerk said, looking at Asher, perhaps in an attempt to take back control of the situation. Asher didn’t say anything back; he would be more than happy to do so, but he worried that agreement would make the guy feel like he’d won Asher’s obedience. Let him feel like he had the last word, but not vindicate his perceived entitlement to Asher’s submission. That was probably the safest way to deescalate this.

The man was turned and gently led away before he could get worked up over the lack of response. Asher watched them leave, giving a small, thankful smile to his rescuers when one glanced back.

Once he was alone again, Asher let out a long, shuddering breath. Trying to breathe out the tension and fear still buzzing within him. He ran a hand over his collar. He was a good pet. He was okay.

[alatismeni-theitsa]

https://twitter.com/Nervana_1/status/1646262493482811392?t=O3lpnJa8SR06sP2HiW3svg&s=19

*big sigh* again they decided to make a Cleopatra documentary by casting a black actress instead of a Greek or at least Mediterranean.

No hate on the actress she just did her job!, it's the producers fault for deciding that they prefer skin colour diversity or ethnicity.

I am sorry...... are Mediterranean skintones something like a canvas or a "default" color to the USAmerican producers of the movie and the platform itself?? Are we a coloring book or something to them?? We are not a people but an idea or something? The mindset behind this change is disgusting! As a Macedonian Greek I feel so repulsed by how they erase us every fucking time because they refuse to do a one-minute Google search.

Did they COMPLETELY ignore how North Mediterranean people look (Cleopatra's family was North Greek) in order to give some hollow Black "representation?" Cleopatra wasn't even Black! (And we don't consider her Brown either!) If we are at a point where racebending historical figures who were most famously Not Black is widely accepted, we really need to examine how this "historical revision" is spiraling.

Next time you hear USian media "respects culture" and it's "inclusionary" please know that this is a load of bullshit. They are ignorant and entitled still, but with a performative goodness as a cover.

On what grounds do the producers and the actors feel comfortable taking representation away from Mediterraneans? A representation we need, mind you, because as it's APPARENT, people don't know how we look!

Especially USAmericans who produce worldwide media and are responsible for the image of the Greek culture and people around the world. They have no freaking idea. They don't know how to spot us or recognize us! And they still insist on racist stereotypes from the 1920s-1940s because of almost nonexistent Greek representation (and North Greek representation)!

The Tweet is made by an Egyptian btw! And Egyptians do well to speak for the USAmericanization of their culture because they are at the same boat as us Greeks when it comes to how we are perceived worldwide due to USAmerican media.

Also since there's an overlap on how Greeks and Egyptians look, it would be fine if an Egyptian or any other Mediterranean would play her honestly. But for Cleopatra, the first person you consider is a Greek woman! (North Greek woman specifically, if you want to accurately capture the mixes of that area)

The trailer is even worse because there's a Caucasian (for a lack of a better term!) Egyptian guy saying "I imagine her like me, with curly hair" while he doesn't have Black hair. Yet the documentary pretends they somehow fulfilled his wish by casting an actress who has Black hair.

Also I think we have depictions of Cleopatra so the way you imagine her, even if you are Greek or Egyptian, you need to take this into account as a guideline. "I imagine" is not how you respectfully depict historical figures!

The point is they relied on that comment to decide she must have curly = aka Black hair. Which..... is not the case. If you go around in Curly Hair circles there are different types. And Black people also know that protective styles for their hair won't protect the curly hair of Caucasian people. I knew a few North Greeks who have this type of hair - as this guy - and they are definitely not Black.

Oh, and the actress doesn't have a skin color like this guy, he is much lighter and, according to USians, he is Brown, not Black. (I hate using the terms but whatever) The actress who plays Cleopatra, Adele James, isn't even partly Egyptian or Greek from what I know?

And the fact that the documentary depicts the Ptolemys (North Greeks) and North Egyptians as Black USians (African Americans)?? The people in these lands.... don't look like this! Just GO to these places and see the people living there, SEE their ancient depictions that give us images of people in these lands thousands of years back! The fucking audacity and the outright racism to assume things about how people look just from stereotypes, and then sell that for money!

Then we have this random woman from the US... They use a quote from her "No matter what they tell you in school, Cleopatra was Black". Sure... Sure fam

How tf is it acceptable to take a shit on the effort of the Greek and Egyptian huge archaeological teams and expertise by saying "ACTUALLY, you guys don't know your own history! You are primitive and you cannot POSSIBLY have the tools or the knowledge to examine how Cleopatra looked!"

Anyways, take some faithful reconstructions of Cleopatra, based on her depictions, where she looks Mediterranean and Greek!

[pet-genius]

Obsession or Love?

Here's a (lightly edited) reddit post I had way too many opportunities to copy/paste, in my humble opinion a successful refutation of the idea that Snape's love for Lily was obsessive:

Let's end this obsession theory forever.

We have three interactions between Snape and Lily from the time they're not children. In one, he says they're "supposed to be friends", and she confirms. Interestingly, she does accuse him of obsessing - over Potter and his mates, so not over her. In interaction 2, he calls her a mudblood, in interaction 3, he attempts to apologize. At no point does he ask her out or say she owes him anything or act entitled to her affection, unless apologizing is an act of entitlement (if you think so, I am sorry for you). Further, Harry goes through his potions book with a fine tooth comb, and nowhere does he find a scribble of her initials or anything like that.

Sirius and Lupin, meanwhile, as adults, never say Snape tried to pursue Lily or stalked her, or that they ever spoke, including in the context of listing reasons why Snape was jealous of James. You KNOW they would have. When Lily asked him to, Snape left her alone.

Then she is put in the crossfire because of Snape's actions. Well, wanting someone not to die is not obsessive. I know people read a lot into Dumbledore's "you disgust me" comment, but that comment only proves that Dumbles is manipulative.

Then she dies anyway. Snape is feeling expressly suicidal, as many non-obsessive people do when someone they love dies and it's their fault. Dumbledore leverages his guilt into recruiting him to spy. He proceeds to keep his love/"obsession" a secret from everyone but Dumbles for 17 years, and in fact talks a lot about James, so it still looks like his "obsessions" are toward those he hates.

People say the "always" line is obsessive. Nope. If Dumbles had to ask "after all this time", then clearly Snape very much shut up about Lily, even when speaking to him. It's said in response to Dumbledore's explanation that Harry must die, which Snape perceives as a betrayal of his deepest motivation - protection, as opposed to vengeance.

People say it's obsessive that he stole the letter and the picture. Having one lousy souvenir of a dead loved one isn't obsessive. Needing something to give you the strength to keep going when you've just killed your only ally and mentor, a kind of talisman to remind you why you're putting yourself through all this pain, is not obsessive. I feel sorry for anyone who thinks in these terms, honestly. As for tearing the photo up, ofc he won't walk around with a picture of James. This isn't symbolically tearing apart the Potter family, as protecting its legacy is Snape's literal mission in life. This interpretation is patently absurd. Ofc he won't carry a letter that says "dear Padfoot." So in summation: no behavioral evidence of obsession in his behavior, only of love, remorse, guilt, and grief.

Magical evidence: the Patronus is a symbol of positive feelings, not obsession, unless Harry was obsessed with his dead dad and wanted to bang him, which is perhaps a creative interpretation but not an entirely accurate representation of Harry's feelings. Harry's stag was a representation of his inspiration and ideals and values, just like Snape's Doe. Further: Snape managed to hide his "obsession" from a mindreader, Voldemort. Obsessions are something you can't control by definition. You KNOW Voldy questioned him about that, probably in a way that involved torture, since Snape asked him to spare her, thus directly causing to Voldemort's first downfall. When Harry occludes Voldy successfully for the first time, it is at a moment of grief, guilt and love - over Dobby. Was Harry obsessed with Dobby? No. He felt responsible for the little guy's death though (and guilty and indebted, most likely). Snape's unequaled talent for occlumency should prove that he loved and grieved Lily, which is precisely the thing Voldy can't access and understand.

The author herself denied that Snape was obsessive, but frankly, even if she had said he was, what she wrote is very different. It also makes no sense that the big reveal and Voldy's downfall are because of some obsessive incel who wanted to bang Lily, in a CHILDREN'S BOOK about the power of love. Interpretations that don't completely undermine and contradict the central themes and messages are typically preferred.

Let's stop talking about the supposed obsession forever and instead wonder why some fans cannot wrap their heads around any explanation of anything that isn't gross and irrelevant.

[imjussaiyan]

Anyone else have a sibling that HAS to have ALL the attention and is entitled as fuck?

My sister is so fucking entitled it makes me sick. And she’s fake on top of it all.

So I know accidents happen and it only takes one time to get pregnant. And I know you’re wondering why this is an issue and you’re probably thinking I’m an asshole.

Well, we live on the family farm with our parents because this country is a hellscape. She was going through trade school, which fine I get them supporting her through that. However, her boyfriend lives here too (that’s partially my parents stupid mistake) and neither of them have a job or source of income.

Like. At all.

My parents FULLY support them financially and otherwise. And they had the fucking nerve to get pregnant and KEEP it..? On someone else’s dime? In a home that there is literally no room for a good damn baby? With a broke ass, dead beat ass fiancé..? Because of course they’re engaged. Idk how they’re going to get married or with what money. She wants to do that before she has the baby. L O FUCKING L.

Oh, but there’s more. Not only did my parents and I pay for her trade school, she slacked off and took too many “personal days” because she was upset about social things at school. Which created MORE fees adding up to 2300 dollars. Which I paid so she could graduate. Bitch. You are almost 22. Shut the fuck up.

ON TOP of that, I found a nice little manufactured home for a low price and showed her because it was cute. Not that I can afford it, but it’s fun to window shop and the bitch says, “I should have mom and dad help me with that.”

Our parents cannot afford to do that. And I told her so. She then gets all sad and butthurt. Like, excuse me? We literally grew up poor as dirt and she thinks our parents are just going to buy her everything? I know they spoiled the fuck out of her and that’s partially why she’s such a selfish brat, but honestly, it’s her personality.

But wait. THERE’S MORE.

Not only is she pregnant on our parents dime, she signed up for state insurance incorrectly and was just going to give up even after our other sister told her exactly how to do it and offered help. Her response? “Oh, mom and dad will pay for it.”

WITH WHAT MONEY, BITCH?!

She does next to fucking nothing around the house and is overly fucking sensitive about anything and everything. She’s also a little bitch ass know it all and she literally has no fucking clue about how anything in this world works, including her own body. Yes. She doesn’t even know how her vagina works and she decides to have a god damn baby that no one can afford.

And now I’m the asshole because I’m NOT excited. Nor do I have to be. She lied about “the condom didn’t fit right.” Then why did you do it? Especially when she KNEW she was ovulating..?

She tried to have a kid with her last fiancé under the same exact circumstances, but aborted that one because she realized it was a bad idea. Mind you, I’m the only one who knows this. If my hyper religious parents found out, they’d go ballistic. Part of me wishes I hadn’t protected her from that. Anyway, she did this shit on purpose. I know when she’s lying and she can’t even keep her lame ass story straight.

I am so done with her rn.

**** UPDATE

He finally got a decent job. Even though he could’ve been working a meager in between one instead of relying on my family for everything for over a year… but whatever I guess. At least he’s got a job now.