#which is like. lol fuck you. but it still kinda stings... and just being in the midst of this long slow collapse while people grow crueler

[blacckdiamondposts]

Unexpected

Pairing: Sukuna Ryomen/Yūji Itadori x f!Reader Warnings: 18+ MDNI, smut, fucking, Sukuna (although he‘s kinda domesticated?lol) Plot: Honestly, no plot here, really.. Just Sukuna who takes over as he‘s fucking tired of watching Yūji fuck you.

Yūji pinned you down against the mattress. His hot body was pressed against yours. You flutter your eyes at him, biting your lower lip. He looked good; his hair clung to his forehead, and his broad chest glistened as the street lamps illuminated your room. 

He dipped his head to the crook of your neck, breathing heavily as he bottomed out in a single thrust. Your wet cunt clamped down around his cock almost as if you tried to suck him in even deeper, "I needed this so much,"

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, lips pressing against his temple, "you always work so hard,"

Your fingertips ran over his back, making him shiver beneath your touch, "(Y/N), you feel so good,"

A whiny moan spilled over your lips as his teeth dragged over your neck, biting into your flesh. Your legs trembled as his cock grew, filling you up in a way he usually couldn't. 

"Y-Yūji," you breathed, and a low chuckle vibrated in his chest, making you widen your eyes. You knew that devilish chuckle and knew very well that it didn't belong to your beloved boyfriend. He parted ever so slightly, just enough to stare down at you. Your brows furrowed as your gaze fixed on his black markings.

"Yūji," your voice was loud, demanding as you hoped to reach your boyfriend. 

"Oi, don't say that brat's name," Sukuna commanded, looking down at you as if you were his prey. His fangs showed as his lips tugged into a sly grin, his eyes roaming over your exposed chest, "not bad,"

"Yūji, I'm sorry," you muttered. Your hand came up, slamming against his cheek, hoping to get your boyfriend back to reality.

"Careful, little one, better not get on my bad side," he growled, his red eyes glowing. He pinned you down by your neck, "he won't come back for a while,"

"W-what," your gaze found his.

"I'm having my turn with you," he stated, "so stop hiding,"

He pinned your arms down by your wrists just above your head while his other hand was still firmly on your neck, "besides, what's the point of hiding if I'm already inside you?"

You felt your cheeks heat up, wondering how you could ignore the sheer size of his thick length stretching you out. Just like his appearance differed from Yūji's, his cock seemed to be different too. It felt better than you would've liked to admit.

Sukuna thrust his hip against yours, earning a strangled moan. There was a hint of amusement in his eyes as he stared you down, "feels good, huh?"

"Better than that brat," he groaned as he pounded into your wet heat.

"Fu-uck, S-Sukuna," you moaned, hands coming up and gripping his shoulders. Your nails dug into his skin as you were holding on for dear life. Your small bedroom was filled with lewd sounds as your moans, his groans, and the way his balls slapped against your skin echoed off the walls.

Sukuna leaned down, lips feverishly clashing against yours before he forced his tongue past your lips. You moaned into the kiss, which only spurred him on more. He was sick of watching Yūji fuck you like he didn't know what he was doing. It made him rage, being only a matter of time before he'd eventually take over. Just like he did now.

"Damn, you're freaking tight," he said through gritted teeth.

"You're enjoying yourself a bit too much, ay," he chuckled lowly, "that brat's going to be jealous,"

Your eyes snapped open as you looked at him, "w-what?"

"He's watching," Sukuna smirked before his head dipped into the crook of your neck, "he's seeing all of this,"

Your walls tightened around his girth, earning another low chuckle, "you like that? What a slut,"

His tongue slipped past his lips, running over your bruised neck. He bit down, his fangs digging into your flesh, almost drawing blood. The sheer sting sent shockwaves through your body as you felt your orgasm approach, "c-close,"

"I know," he groaned against the crook of your neck before he propped himself up. He hooked his hands on your thighs, pushing them until your knees met your chest. Sukuna enjoyed how you looked all folded up, boobs pressed together, face flushed as you looked at him through half-lidded eyes.

He reached an even deeper spot with the new position, his tip hitting against your cervix as he slammed his hips against yours. You felt that tight coil snap as you were pushed over your edge, legs trembling, head thrown back as you turned into putty beneath him.

"P-please slow down," your voice was slightly above a whisper, "please,"

"If you're asking this nicely," Sukuna watched you with an amused expression as your body jerked and jolted as you came down from your high. He dropped your legs, his large hands rummaging over your body before they settled on your boobs. 

You gasped as his claws moved over your buds, arching your back and pushing your chest into his touch. He was thrusting into you steadily, not as brutally as previously. Sukuna wanted to have fun after all. Suddenly, you felt a wet sensation on your buds. The mouths in the palms of his hands were toying with your nips, licking and biting them with his sharp fangs.

You were squirming beneath him, and he loved it. Your hands came up, wrapping around his wrists.

"S-Sukuna," you whined, feeling like another orgasm will wash over you.

"Huh, that sensitive,"his cock was buried deep inside you, and he could feel your walls clamp around his length, "gonna cum again for me?"

With a hard thrust, you came again, and he felt how you spasmed around him. Your nails dug into his wrists, back arching only to push his cock deeper into your cunt. You were a mess already, trembling beneath him. 

"You seem to enjoy that he's watching you,"  Sukuna smirked, "do you like that he sees you getting fucked like a whore?"

"S-shut up," you breathed.

"What did you say," he asked, cocking a brow at you as he picked up his pace, rutting into your wet heat.

"T-too much," you moaned, "fuck,"

"Then, you better watch your mouth," he grunted, bringing his hand up to your neck. He lowered his head, tongue dragging over the marks before he bit down, earning a whimper as you felt overstimulated - overused as he fucked you stupid.

Your arms snaked around his shoulders, legs wrapping around his hips. You couldn't think about anything but him. The way his cock stretched you out so perfectly, the way his fangs sank into your skin, how he groaned in such a lustful way, "g-gonna cum,"

His grip around your neck tightened as he neared his orgasm, breathing and groaning heavily as his primal instincts took over. "Shit, want me to fill you up, huh? "

He felt you nod against him. With a smirk, he snapped his hips against yours before he came with a loud groan, painting your insides white as your walls milked him dry. He collapsed onto you, head still buried in the crook of your neck. All the while, you tried to catch your breath. 

"(Y/N), are you alright," although it was low and husky, you knew very well who that voice belonged to. He parted slightly, and your lips flicked into a smile as you noted that the markings were gone. Yūji looked at you worriedly, relaxing once you gave him a reassuring nod.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a lustful kiss.

[l0v3tast3]

SOMETHING LIKE A DEATH KISS | KEEGAN RUSS

keegan saves you from certain death in an active warzone. after some time of being stuck in the same safehouse, he helps you let down your guard.

✎ tags: mdni! nsft, fem!reader, keegan's kinda icky in this, he calls you "kid" among other pet names, unprotected s3x, dirty talk, this is pure smut, loss of virginity

✎ word count: 1.7k words (not proofread)

✎ author's note: this has been sitting in my drafts for quite a bit lol i don't think it's my best work but i wanted to write something for keegan cuz edits of him took over my fyp for awhile (///￣ ￣///)

masterlist

"don't run."

keegan's impressed with you. just a few hours ago, you were so twitchy, eyes flitting every which way and muscles endlessly tensed. the gunfire he'd saved you from had you on constant high alert for days in the safehouse you were both holed up in.

now, you couldn't care less about your surroundings. not when he's sinking his cock into you centimeter by centimeter. the stretch stings, your body and your instincts clashing in wanting to buck your hips into his and wanting to squirm further up the bed. the hour that keegan spent working his tongue against your clit still wasn't enough, apparently.

"c'mon kid, you can take it," he breathes, right into your neck before he sinks his teeth in.

keegan's canines make you whimper and turn your head away, but it helps to distract you from the burning. you really didn't think his dick would fit in you- he told you not to worry about that.

your hands being pinned against the spring mattress is disguised as sweet as he intertwines his coarse fingers with yours. you know he's holding you down with that and his own weight over you to keep you from getting away. he knows you won't even try it, but he's just making sure.

"almost there, princess- doin' so good." more and more gravel grates in his voice the deeper he presses into you, while your voice gets whinier in a way he wants to hear so much more of.

your grip on his hands gets tighter when you realize that his dick isn't all the way in yet. you already feel so full, like your organs are being pushed to the sidelines to make more room for him. tears prick the corners of your eyes from the overwhelming feeling and keegan's lips spread into a bit of a grin when he sees them.

his hands were already getting harsh by the time you told him you'd never had sex. the hold he had on you had just gotten tighter, he'd kissed you rougher and promised that he would take such good care of you.

and he is, keegan would like to think, even when he pushes the last couple inches in much faster than the rest- he just can't help it when your little pussy is wrapping around him so tight and your breath is getting so shaky.

"ah-! kee-gan! haa- please-" you hiccup, brain matter practically melting out of your ears. the plea is a mix of wanting him to stay still and to start moving- you can't think well enough to figure out which option would overstimulate you more.

"aww- hah, see baby? told ya it would all fit- see, it's all here-" keegan's hand pulls yours down between your legs folded over his shoulders to press it down against your lower stomach. a cry pushes off of your tongue at the multiplied pressure. "fuck, gonna have to take you home with me, kid- this cunt was made for me."

the thought of keegan lifting your hips up and pressing his cock into you whenever he wants makes the little air you managed to get leave you lungs quick. if it means you get to feel this lava crawling through your veins again, you'd sit on his lap during the flight back home.

"yeah? hah, you want that? want me to take you with me? sweet girl- don't know what you're in for," he laughs. keegan's starting to creep his hips back, dragging his dick out of you until only the tip remained before he pushes back in a little bit faster.

"plea- mm, please- keegan, slo-w-" it's all you can do to choke out the bare minimum of your sentence when he's picking up the pace.

"what, you want me to slow down?" his patronizing tone is barely hidden. "you were doin' so well, where'd that go?"

keegan doesn't slow down but he stays at the same pace. there's some relief when he lets his hand up from your belly- he lets you regain control of the one hand and you use it to dig your nails into his forearm. you feel him cup the side of your face and he leans down until you're nose-to-nose. he looks smug.

"startin' to like it now, hm? y'just gotta listen to me, princess- i know just how to take care of you."

you know he's berating you for being nervous, but he is starting to become something you'll get addicted to. every time he bullies his cock back into you makes you believe him, believe that he knows what's best.

it's a losing battle trying to respond to him coherently. instead of wasting the little energy your body held onto, you tighten your legs around his waist and mash your lips against his. keegan groans into the sloppy kiss, hand moving to the back of your head to press you further into him.

he would swear that it's unintentional but his hips start smacking against yours, the sound evidence enough of how wet he'd made you. the hand still pinned against the bed is released in favor of grabbing your plush thigh. your knee is brought close to your face and you nearly wail.

"see? hah, what did i tell you?"

keegan's sighed words go straight over your head- he doesn't like that. he snakes his hand around and it grips your jaw, making your hazy eyes move to his.

sweat makes his face shine and his lips are cherry red; keegan's mussed hair and heavy gaze help to make him look almost as wrecked as you are. he leans over you until you can see the satisfaction of control in his eyes.

"what did i tell you?" he repeats. it's slower, demanding- enough to make you open your mouth against his hand.

as soon as you try to make a sound other than garbled moans and whines, keegan slams his hips into yours and keeps them there. the head of his cock grinds into your cervix and you choke on your air, nails drawing blood in his arms, eyes rolling back into your emptied head.

you feel the hand on your jaw jostle you a bit while he whispers patronizing sympathy, "hey, hey, stay with me kid," and "you can take me, princess, bein' such a good girl."

he keeps grinding deep into you, pressing your leg further into your chest- all your whimpers and strained pleas makes keegan's ego visibly inflate. it's something he knows he's already addicted to.

a spit out "fuck" leaves his mouth before he leans back up and effortlessly flips you over before you can even whine. it's no problem for keegan that you're body feels like it's made of jelly; you hips are hoisted up to meet his as he kneels behind you, already pushing his cock back into you.

it feels so different, like he's in your lungs now, your throat and your head. every bit of him invading every bit of you. you barely feel his hand drifting up your spine, until he reaches the back of your neck and pushes the side of your face into the mattress. when you strain your neck you can see his smile.

you cum in the span of the next few minutes, body shaking and back arching while keegan fucks you hard enough to push you up the mattress. he's groaning, muttering out more praises, how tight you are around him, how pretty you look like this, how he'll never get tired of this.

keegan slows down as the white-hot pleasure cools off inside of you. collapsing fully into the mattress, he huffs a laugh and pulls away, smacking your ass before he sits beside you against the headboard.

muscles slowly relax while you lay content- that is until about ten seconds later when keegan easily hoists you up onto his lap. once he has you situated, he lifts you up to line up the head of his cock again. he leans in close until his lips are brushing against yours. every time you try to close the tiny gap, he pulls his head back.

"ah-! you di- mmh- you didn't-?" you stutter as he pulls you down with one hand, the other wrapping around your back to press your chests together. fog still covered your brain, slow to clear; you're surprised when his stamina supersedes what you generally heard about men in the past.

he leans his head back as your hips meet again, a deep moan pulled from his chest. "shit, kid- so fuckin' tight still-" he grits out, already thrusting up into you. a whiny yelp escapes your lips before you're hanging onto his shoulders as he bounces you up and down, meeting you halfway every time.

sparks crackle in your stomach, your nerves still overly sensitive, and before you can even recover from the last orgasm you're about to cum again. he ignores your half-spoken question in favor of watching your tits bounce and groaning filthy words.

the last straw that breaks the flood in you is when he leans you back against his bent knees to fuck into you harder. you lose awareness of everything except him. keegan's keeping you grounded with his hands on you while he makes you feel so weightless, helpless against the pleasure he causes.

a growled "fuck-" is the only warning you get before keegan pulls you tight against him and buries his cock into you to grind into your cervix again. his hips stutter and his body goes taut while he chokes out moans in your ear. weak whimpers still come out of you every little bit, only serving to make his nails dig into your soft skin harder.

"fuck..." he repeats, a calm sigh this time. he lifts his head from your shoulder and takes your face in his hands. "fuck, baby, you're comin' home with me."

keegan kisses you and you kiss him back in agreement.

(ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ likes, comments n reblogs are always appreciated!!

[averageclawcodeenjoyer]

ANALYZING SPIDERVERSE BACKGROUNDS- PART TWO!!!!!!!!!

The insanity doesn't stop

This time, we're going to be looking at into the spiderverse, specifically this scene (sorry about the weird cut at the ending, I accidentally zoomed in/out lol)

Which I have gone through frame by frame..

For fun. You can see what he's doing for the most part, but I needed to share my thoughts on it.

(It's mostly me being a homosexual though... happy pride month)

ANYWAY

Nothing important here really I just think this little sequence of him drinking is cute. Also WHY IS THE CAN CLIPPING THROUGH HIS HAND THAT POOR GUY THAT CANNOT BE COMFORTABLE LMAO. Also what the hell is going on with his laptop who needs that many tabs open. Loving the laptop + PC combo. This boy uses so much electricity...

Awwwww look at him. He needed a little light because his blind ass couldn't see to write his invisible notes (Me too Ganke, me too. What are you writing about though why is it so important it has to be on paper and cannot simply remain a computer file? Are you doing homework.... at this hour?)

Also he has the same getting up/sitting down sequence!! I think that's cute too, and it's probably just the animators being lazy and not wanting to animate a billion different ways of sitting down, but, hear me out; OCD Ganke. Now, I don't know much about OCD, but I do know that people who have it tend to repeat the same behaviors/patterns every day for every single activity. This could also explain the three of the same hat thing he has going on. Now, that's just a silly little headcanon to play with, so don't take it too seriously.

Also, WHERE THE HELL IS HE GOING??? AS FAR AS IM AWARE, THERES OBLY ONE DOOR TO THEIR ROOM. THE DOOR TO THE HALLWAY.

Is his ass really getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night (courtesy of his one billion energy drinks) amd leaving the fucking door OPEN?? BUDDY? YOUR ELECTRONICS ARE RIGHT THERE DIRECTLY IN SIGHT OF THE HALLWAY... AND YOUR ROOMMATE IS SLEEPING THERE.... WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

Hehehehehehehehe aww look at him putting his headphones on I wonder what he's listening to. Also who texted him it's like 12am rn. GO TO BED (He checks it twice. It's 15 close friends reminding him to go to bed. He responded "I'm asleep dw" to every single one)

Look at this EEPY FUCKIN GUY. OH he is so SLEEPY if ONLY there was SOMETHING he could DO ABOUT IT. Oh what's that? Put down the energy drink can and turn off my computer? What a ludicrous idea who would have ever come up with that. Pff. Psch. Apffttr. He looks like the bottom of a sting ray in that middle photo. Someone get this kid a break and also some fucking melatonin. And water. Stat. He's like a plant. Put him outside.

Oh, look, he's finally decided to ditch his uniform that he's been wearing all day and get into something more comfy. Not the hat tho. The hat stays on every second of his life. Oh well at least he's probably a lot more comfortable. And would you look at that hes.. still wearing..... his shoes. B.. buddy you... you know you can take those off right. It's okay I promise. You got this. Is he barefoot in those too. Is he still wearing the same damn pants from before.

ALSO HIS NOTEPAD MAGICALLY HAS WRITING ON IT NOW!!! SOMEBODY PLEASE DECODE THESE MYSTERIES!!! IM SO EVER VERY CURIOUS

Do you think that while making his cup o noodles in the microwave he was playing music too loud and forgot to hit the stop button before it beeped and he just... kinda froze.... and looked up at Miles (who is sleeping like a fucking bear during the peak months of winter in hibernation. Not even a fucking jet engine could wake that boy up) and then kinda just awkwardly resumes what he was doing. Because I do. I do.

(ALSO, this is the second time his phone lights up. He does check it, I'm just not including it for sake of space)

ALRIGHT APPROACHING THE END OF EVEEYRHING I CAN SQUEEZE OUT OF THIS SCENE!

What is he doing in that first Pic. Clearly whatever he wrote down was important, but, like, is his computer updating? Is he just checking to make sure he input something correctly? What is this boy doing somebody please give me a 2 hour movie or a 500 page novel just on him immediately thanks

He's finally taking a brain break and... relaxing by reading comics. Not sleeping, no. Oh god no. But looking at comics. This kid has autism you cannot convince me otherwise. Who does this if they don't have some form of neurodivergency. Please bonk him on the head cartoon style for me I love him.

Awww he cleans up some of the floor (stuffs it under his bed to be dealt with months later)! PLEASE, THOUGH, THE WAY HE FUXKING LOOKS UP AT MILES I CANNOT STAND HIM WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE A CUTOUT THAT SOMEONE TRIED TO HORRIBLY PHOTOSHOP INTO A PICTURE HE DOESNT BELONG IN WHY DOES HE LOOK LILE HES FLOATING.

Also as you can tell by his million energy drinks and now empty and just juice cup o noodles, he doesn't clean up after himself ever. Maybe instead of buying a fourth computer, we invest in a trash can for your dorm. Hmmmm? Silly boy. I love it when they give teenagers teenager habits. Please give me more of this.

This may not be 100% accurate, but take a look at how many energy drinks he goes through in one night.

The first clip is at the beginning of the scene, where most of them are unopened while there are already still five open ones (I can't figure out how to get the best picture of how many drinks there really are here while making it a collage... anyway). Since we don't see the beginning of the night, we don't know how many drinks Ganke has had prior to now, or what the interval he drinks them at is.

At the end of the clip, there are an estimates 12 open drinks total. One on the floor, two(?) By his comic, six by the right side of his computer, plus three on the left side of his computer. That means he drank 6 energy drinks in the span of however many hours we watched him for.

Bro has a serious caffeine addiction and needs to be grounded from money. ALSO, HES DRINKING THEM WARM??? BRO..

And I know that they are energy drinks, because, well. One, just look at them. Two, how do we think Ganke manages to stay up all night doing God knows what for hours on end. We didn't even ever see him go to bed! He's still on his computer when Miles wakes up! Bro pulled an all nighter and for WHAT. BUDDY. And three: the design on the cup literally reads "ENRGY" bottom text "drink"

Dude

Bro

Water

Please.

Drink it.

Also them having part of their schedule on the wall is so cute too!! Do they share classes? How many? Also that says Ceramics. As per my first post of this series, if you look at the horribly lopsided bowl beside Ganke on the bed, that looks a lot like something someone who struggled in arts would create.

Who is that someone?

Well, it's not Miles. We've seen his art.

Is

Is it Ganke?

Ganke the nerd? The Ganke among the most gifted students at Visions? Ganke who pulls all nighters and picks for on his computer often?

Hell yeah. Give him pottery. He brings home lopsided mugs and bent in bowls and dented plates for them to use instead of buying their own dishware, and Miles is so supportive of it even through the kettle he was using had a hole and leaked boiling water all over his hands. He's doing his best, he's not good with crafts. Give him a break.

I love this and them so much. He's my guy. PLEASE BRING HIM OR 42 GANKE BACK IN BTSV SONY PLEASE I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING FOR MORE GANKE CONTENT I CANNOT KEEP LIVING OFF OF SCRAPS LIKE THIS PLEASE!!!

Part One

Part 1.5

[plscallmeeren]

S A F E W I T H M E

Severus Snape x Reader

Request: yep @NurYgmmr

Summary: yandere snape (established relationship) but also u r a death eater living at Malfoy Manor. Just a Drabble, hope u enjoy :) btw apologize for the text being in weird placed my phone's fucked up at the moment

Warnings: Swearing; possessiveness; cruciatus curse; mentions of Death Eater activity lol

Word Count: 1.3K+

Severus Snape was not a bad man. He was not cruel, generally, or sadistic, mostly, nor was he prone to abuse, unless it was expected of him.

In other words - he could be a bad man.

But that wasn't what you liked to think. Really, you were very reluctant to accept the gravity of his propensity for mistreatment. Not that you were innocent.

It seemed Malfoy Manor was a haunted house - a building, not a home - that encouraged the very worst in every inhabitant, temporary or rooted. You extended your excuses to your topical residence.

There were other monsters living there. But there were also the candid, even there.

•••

Severus Snape tapped his fingers against his thigh to no apparent rhythm. His concentration had never been so hard to keep on a meeting, especially with Nagini hissing every now and then.

But you were still on your mission.

"It was you, wasn't it, Snape? Who said the boy would be moving at that time?" Dolohov called out loudly from the other end of the table. "Where'd you pick it up?"

"It was the original plan," he seethed, glaring.

"Right. Was it the original plan to become the ministry's own little spy-"

"You know I have had no contact since I murdered Dumbledore-"

"Enough!" Narcissa yelled, looking startled at her own outburst. "We all trust in the Dark Lord. Accusations and mistrust are his privilege, only. If we must discuss, why not concerning you, Dolohov? Why have you not been invited to accompany the Lord on his mission to kill the boy? Surely you wanted to?"

Severus could think of nothing but the fight you had had before you left. It was stupid, he knew, but everything felt ten times as intense when he was around you. Even when he wasn't, if he was being honest.

Dolohov sneered. Everyone had heard his pathetic begging in the halls. "Well?" Severus pushed, at least directing his general irritation at someone who was set on troubling him.

"The Dark Lord believes...," he murmured, "that I have been behaving rashly lately."

"I can't believe you, Sev'. We were talking. What about that could possibly make you jealous?"

"I'm not jealous! It's just that when two people who are fundamentally attractive are in a room together, 'talking'-"

"For fuck's sake! I'm about to go on a mission and this is what you wanna talk about? This? It's ridiculous, honey!" The pet name is obviously mocking, which makes it sting even more. He just wanted to... what did he want...? He didn't really believe you'd betray him, but maybe the other guy... Lucius..."

"He's a married man! He's married and I'm not interested and he's kinda my friend! That bloke's not interested in me, and I'd be careful, because your interest in becoming obsessive!"

You stormed out, slamming the door. He fell to his knees, head in his hands. What had he done?

"Really? What did you-"

Severus could hear the heavy doors swinging open from afar and jumped up, abandoning every thought of rash Death Eaters. He almost tripped twice running down stairs and over elaborate carpets, but eventually he made it to the door, where Bellatrix was groaning theatrically.

"The Potter boy?" he asked breathlessly, though his eyes didn't stop scanning the entry for you and he really couldn't care at that moment. All those years he had waisted looking after Harry, just for Lily Evans! Of course he had loved her, probably he still did, but what nonsense had the old man tricked him with, saying that it mattered what she had died for? She was gone, she was gone, she was gone.

He had learned to live with that, as long as you weren't.

Just as he could feel the last ounce of calm diverge from his brain, just as the Dark Lord said Potter had survived but some of theirs hadn't...

There you were. Disheveled and tired, but still, there you were.

"Sev," you whispered, wrapping an arm around him as half a hug. "We failed. But just the battle, not the war, I hope." You seemed to have forgotten about the fight, and he couldn't be more glad.

"Go to bed," he pleaded, though he knew you wouldn't. He tried to inconspicuously place his hands on some parts of your body, trying to see if you were hurt.

"I'm fine," you said curtly, answering both his worries. "You're probably more brought up about this than I am."

"Hurry up, bloody lovebirds," Bellatrix hissed from ahead, only turning when you nodded at her wearily. Severus had never understood how you could be so close to such a maniac. Then again, how far from a maniac was he?

"C'mon."

The Dark Lord seethed at the head of the table, scaring everyone into silence with his own. "We lost, today," he said finally, keeping a dangerously firm grip on Nagini. "We did not capture, or hurt, or kill the boy. Harry..."

Severus looked at you. "Kill anybody?" he murmured, hoping for the insurance that you were 'helpful'.

"No, but I did blast one of the Weasley boys' ears off... your curse, actually, that Sectumsempra one..."

"And you!" Voldemort cried, pointing his wand - or Lucius', rather - at you. "You had an opening! You saw the owl, you knew it was him, you were so close... could have knocked him off his broom..."

"I didn't want to accidentally kill him," you replied honestly, but before you could finish speaking, you toppled over the back of your chair, writhing in agony.

Severus sprang up, casting desperate glanced from you to the Dark Lord and back again. You were in pain, pain, pain, he had to do something, something...

You groaned through clenched teeth, rolling and tossing on the ground. Everything hurt. Everything hurt so badly. Why was this happening? Where were you...?

"For Merlyn's sake!" Severus cried, and the curse stopped.

He paused as you lay there, limp. What would the Dark Lord do now? Torture him instead? Torture you more?

"Take her to her room," he commanded, and in seconds Severus had scooped you up, carrying you away as fast as he could.

"Put me down," you muttered halfway up the steps, determined to regain some dignity.

"No."

"Sev," you growled, and he reluctantly obeyed, only lending you some support. He pushed open the door to your room, shutting it hastily.

You collapsed on the bed, gesturing for him to join you. "Relax, darling. He wouldn't let us go just to tease. I don't think. C'mon, lie down."

He did, slowly melting into the dark covers as you ran your fingers along his side. "I'm so scared," he admitted quietly, and you listened.

"Every time you're on a mission or he talks to you alone, anything... I just imagine life without you and I can't-"

"I'm not going to die," you stated, "but if I did - I won't - then you would be fine, anyway. There is no one I trust as much as you to find something to hold onto, okay? But it doesn't matter, because I'm here. I've survived plenty of torture already. I've survived countless missions already. We're on the mighty side of history. I'm here. I'm yours. Okay? Just like you're not allowed to die for me, okay?"

"Right," he breathed, hands still shaking. "Right."

"C'm'ere. You're safe with me. We're both safe, okay? For now, at least. Come on." He leaned into your touch, feeling warmth spread throughout his body. This is what he fought for, everyday.

"I forgive you," you said quietly. He felt like crying.

"I love you," he said for the first time, and though he didn't miss the way you tensed beneath him, he smiled.

"I love you, too, Sev'."

[wannaeatramyeon]

Hello Ara Ara Anon here.

Kinda digging your profile Gun having a seriously face lol. Which made me think of what would Gun and Goo hate to see in thier Date or in fight.

And what would be thier auto "marry me" reaction during thier date/ situations.

Hello again Ara Ara anon! This is probably one of my fave expression this guy pulls. It's just so relatable. Thanks for the ask - and I could see Goo falling for the ara ara OC heh.

Fight Reaction: Marry Me!

Gun values competent people, he would have needed to have heard of your reputation first to pique his interest. It would make sense if you were making a name for yourself as a high ranking executive in Workers, climbing to the top with a ruthless tenacity. You're efficient and ambitious and you wanted the crew business all to yourself. Because why do these little boys get all the fun?

Couple that with you being strong? What a way to get his attention. Gun's instant marry me though? This bastard... Daniel breaks 1 arm and this pervert can't stop thinking about him. Imagine if you broke all his limbs.

Goo is one sadistic fucker. Similar to Gun, you would need to overpower him during a fight but he doesn't need the context. He couldn't give a shit who you are, but where have you been hiding with your pretty claws and vicious grin? Having someone like you beat him up is hot. It eases the sting of the loss somewhat.

Goo is sitting there, bruised and bloodied by you, which is already a turn on. Then you lean in and grab his chin:

"Ara ara... What a disappointment you turned out to be, Goo Kim."

He genuinely would blurt out "marry me" in this moment.

Fight Reaction: Fuck You

Gun loves fighting. He really believes in the beauty of the it, the movement, the skill, the raw feel of throwing punches and kicks. Connecting and ripping through skin, breaking bones. He doesn't care if you fight dirty. Go ahead and grab some weapons. Adds more spice.

However anything that would ruin the fundamental of people beating the shit out of each other would upset him, more so if it's illegal.

"You dumb motherfucker. Are you ruining my fun with a gun"

and if you tried to jab him with a syringe full of questionable drugs like what happened to Samuel? He'll really show you what Shiro Oni means.

What can I say, this guy has his principles.

For Goo, you would have thought anything goes with this blonde maniac but he hates being underestimated or thinking someone is going easy on him. And combine that with you getting the upper hand? He loathes your trash talk.

"You call that a punch"

"What is that stance"

"Have you ever even used a sword before"

He would be going feral with rage, frothing at the mouth, aiming to kill. If you manage to get him to this stage and still nothing?

"Was that supposed to hurt"

Please also see the above scenario - he would likely have the most confused boner.

Date Reaction: Marry Me!

Apart from the obvious fighting prowess, Gun would love someone that could easily be playing 5D chess and challenging him.

He's smart and perceptive but if he tells you about his day and you manage to catch something he's missed? Or offer him a better solution? God. He's always done this on his own, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad with you.

You would need a pretty wicked and wild streak yourself to seriously be with someone like Goo. You 2 together are loose cannons and a general danger to society. And your ideas of a date aren't the most... traditional.

Someone pissed Goo off and you suggest some casual arson? Grand theft auto against a guy who parked too close to his precious car? Identity theft of someone that tried to rip him off? Yep babe, you're the one.

Date Reaction: Fuck off

It likely will never get to this stage if they get even a whiff of something amiss.

Casually sleeping around is one thing but Gun and Goo are pretty thorough with researching and scoping people out, and that's no different for a potential date. They know the kind of traits they like and respect. If you don't fit the bill, then this ain't happening.

The only real thing both Gun and Goo would hate is if either of them misjudged you. They thought they saw a partner and an equal but you're not measuring up. Either you're too nice or normal or moralistic or just naive. This would never work, they need someone that understands the way of their world. They would have no qualms breaking up or just straight out ghosting you.

[kaoharu]

how would you rate every a' song & ciel song ever! looks

yippeeeeeeeee !!!!!! heart heart

ill start with ciel bc he has less songs lol

Ache&Deny – worlds most predictable baby ( me ) ok anyways im just a reallly big sucker for kenns vocals in this song. the guitar Also gets me so bad really fucked up how its Always there . even when the loud drums come in . eheh :my eyes tear up: i dont have any comments for the lyrics unfortunately ( mg illness doesnt allow it . . . )

Heaven's Door – i really like the instrumentals for this song also . also always a big fan of when lyrics reference religious concepts and stuff like literally wahtever ( htis is just like hanadoll . sorry )

BLACK ANTHEM – religious concepts again. hi i think hes so interesting stares off into space did you know that die fledermaus is thw name of a german operetta . which im pretty sure is why in the intro ( and the instrumental breaks ) there is the opera like singing. so cool right thumbs up emoji

LUV (Your) StiNG – i just think he sounds really good in this one . no further comments :scratches head:

Vibes – i actually reallly lvoe the lyrics of this song it sucks i cant place it higher . sinc ehe only has five songs. bursts into tears sorry ok also random but it just feels really criminal for vibes ro be last. i love this song i just love the others more for various reasons waaaahhhhh

aaaand for a' 👍 im so excited for his headliner release in :checks calendar: october . strained smile

Pinch102gou – worlds most predictable baby pt2 ( its still me ) i dont even have a really good explanation other than the instrumentals have kept me captive for literally forever. oh yeha and i rlly kimuryos vocal performance its very cool . . . the lyrics are ❓️ if im being honest.i still dont know what he meant but its fine. i like it i dont have to understand

SorakaraHuruYume – this song makes me want to shatter into ten billion pieces i have a hard time listening to it purely bc it makes me stupidly emotional whej i thinkna little too hard in fact i havent even fully listened to it in a while bc i keep skipping and avoiding it cause i get really sad LMAO im ill

THE MIRROR HOUSE – this peaked i love it veryvery much the contrast between it and sorakarahuruyume is wild to me. anyways tho i like to look at the lyrics and jst sit down and think a bit its his second song talking abt mirror images . . . hrmmm

Kamukamu Miracle – I LOVE THE LYRICS FOR THIS SONG. theyre truly as fun as the instrumentals if we ignore his mental health streaks . its season one :] hes just a sillyguy :] and whatnot anyways this is Truly a nsfw song to me heart heart

RE:Morse – big fan of mirror imagery and stuff. i feel liek the lyrics here are an interesting glimpse into how a' views himself and his issues . . . . not rlly sure how to articulate my thoughts on this aside from theyre just kinda Separate from his identity raaaahhh what am i saying

Dakara Onegai Dakara – this song fucks i think it should be listened to more 👍 the lyrics are surprisingly ( or not rlly surprisingly bc this is a' afterall ? ) serious despite his instrumental whimsy what do you mean do you want to kill yourself why are you asking us man /silly

Masaka no Massacre! – worlds biggest sin is that i have literally never been able to find a tl for this song. who cares tho ig it can still be peak to me

Papipupepo de Rarirurero – no one loves this song like me. itd be second place if not for factoring in lyrics . the lyrics are ok papipupepo and rarirurero are really fun to say tho and i can spell it out without having to double check myself anymorw . heh

Yoiyami ni ainori – i looooove how this song sounds . nodding the lyrics are also interesting to me with the various meanings of some phrases in it

Crazy≒Nutrient – i rlly like how it sounds. im not gettung into the lyrics :seal eyes:

#HAPPY – the lyrics for this song are really sweet to be honest. a' happiness ambassador . . . . . . . . . . . . . . i like this song 👍 to be honest maybe it shld be a little bit higher but the instrumentals dont strike me as much as some of his other songs and such . but yes i think everyone shld read the lyrics nodding

Calling Cat – everytime i listen to this song i think of lady gaga im sorry anyways its a very solid song tho i think the lyrics are an interesting read . glimpses into his strange as fuck mind as they say(?)

Ningen Yametatte yo – this song is Very heavy instrumental wise. i think it is neat still . . . yeah :]

Yotsuba CLOVER – i wish i liked this song more like. its very good its jusr surprisingly not up my alley . the lyrics are quite nice however so hearttt

Mirai e – this song is alright . j feel like id like it more if i cld find a tl for the lyrics WAAAAHHHHH anyways not too much to say i feel like unfortunately. i do like the music break its very fun sounding everything else was just Average for me. is this mean

S≠O≒S – waaahhh. i have a complicated relationship with this song. i think the lyrics are ok and the music is fun but i juust feel like his other songs are Better im sorry sos i still like you

KKK->E – another one i cant find a tl for my misery but its ok 👍 this one is a weaker a' song imo like i like it but its not very nsfw soundign thay sounds awful hello . you know i mean it just doesn't sound like their bands usual music to me

[lemonzestywrites]

my love, i am making eyes at 'the result of zesty’s indecision'

👀👀👀 TELL ME MORE, pretty please with your favorite dessert on top!!!! <3333

LMAO of course teenie here you are! a bit more from my secret fic

also fair warning- the snippet is a little vague (cause its the middle of a scene) but it is a negotiated overstim scene! eddie is into it! it's just a lot for him (which is kinda the point lol) but all is well!! everyone is very much into it!

(nsfw beneath the cut!!!)

He braces for it- the spinning of his all-too-foggy mind, the bliss that rushes through his veins afterward, or the sting of cold air that hits his lungs like he’s breaching water for the first time again. Except the vibrations don’t stop.  Even as the last bits of the aftershocks fade and that bite of hypersensitivity drives its teeth into him, the Hitachi keeps fucking going. He breaks apart from the kiss, the whine that follows as he does so, being pulled completely out of his own volition. Eddie’s legs instinctually flinch to snap shut, but the spreader bar doesn’t let him make it that far in the slightest. “B-Buck,” he calls out, the sharp, electrifying bolts of pleasure striking up every muscle in his body. He can’t outrun it. He can’t escape it.  The broad hands at his sides keep him in place, holding him flush against Buck’s still very clothed body. “I gotcha,” he mutters. “It’s okay, Eddie. I got you.” The sensations are too much. The overstimulation is fucking maddening. He cries and flinches, wanting both so badly for the vibrations to pause and for them to keep going. It feels so fucking good and yet so fucking overwhelming. His cock twitches again, still wet and sensitive from his first orgasm and now aching with the prospect of a second one. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

[lambert-simnel]

just showed the first three episodes of Torchwood to my best mate while he recovers from top surgery because now I have a captive audience for my insanity

long fucking post of my opinions under the cut

First of all the audio stings and sound track and burned into my fucking frontal cortex I watched it for the first time 3 years ago and the moment i heard it again I was like yeah this is all i’m gonna hear for months now

I honestly remembered it as worse than it is, first ep is not super batshit, the dialogue is insane but well written, my friend was like “why did you think i wouldn’t like this??”

also to add to my Owen bullshit i had completely forgotten his fucking gay kiss moment in episode 1?? like why do they never revisit this like I know we joke about how every character is bi but he is the first character confirmed as bi and then he just never gets to make out with dudes again?? (also yeah that scene completely unethical like massive date rape vibes I am aware) my friend really liked Susie which was a shame lol seeing as she doesn’t stick around but anyway

He actually really enjoyed the sex gas ep like all the stuff with the girl purposefully using the alien sex murder to kill her shitty ex boyfriend my friend was like “jennifer’s body could never” like we do joke about this ep a lot but it is interesting. my friend also didn’t think the complete hornyness was bad like he said that it’s about being in your 20’s so it works. I honestly remembered it being a lot more immature around sex and now i’m actually in my 20’s i’m like no i know people like this, it’s like being a horny teenager but with a lot less angst around sex this kinda makes sense.

What I will say is I had forgotten how many unsolicited sexual comments people make especially Jack and Owen it’s definitely a product of it’s time in that regard especially as Owen is treated as a fuck boy but Jack is “charming”. Obviously episode 3 is kinda Owen realising he’s part of the problem so like early character development yay but yh I did get worried showing it to my friend while i’m soft launching him as my new blorbo of the week lol.

anyway, i was pleasantly surprised that i remembered it as worse than it is and that my friend is now hopefully going to be as insane as I am about this and it’s fuelling my anger about what happened to Tosh and Owen.

they are so prevalent in the early episodes, Owens gets basically his own episode in episode 3!! Ianto barely shows up until obviously ep 4 is cyberwoman and it was probably intentional to have him fade into the background early on so he’s more secretive but still??

like I remember so clearly being confused about how little screen time he got and how much Tosh and Owen got when I knew he was in the doctor who crossover so I knew he was a big deal, it just fucking sucks that Tosh and Owen were clearly major characters from day one and they just get dropped for Gwen and Ianto later on !!

[heat--end]

i wont lie im still kinda stung about me getting accused of being an awful and predatory person because of. someone i am friends with i guess. and theyre not even that bad lol. but because i am friends with them they said they "were reevaluating what i thought" and then cut off ties and it still kinda stings ngl

it also got tied into very strange discourse where someone just wholly disagreed with me and then immediately bad faithed me into saying "no im not bad faithing you". this is after you immediately like. make me sound like im doing some adult/minor shipping shit which im literally not. and i had said so multiple, SEVERAL times, and had been incredibly open about it

the people who cut me off as a result were people who had defended me in such circumstances before. but they cut ties REAL quick when they had some shred of evidence. its fucking annoying dude lol. hate feeling mad about it but it genuinely sucks. idk man its so fucking annoying and im thinking about it a lot ig cause of the recent shit with transfem people getting targeted. its so. SO easy for trans women to get thrown under a bus its so annoying

[dumb-doll-lips]

So he came over and pretty immediately i think turned me around and smacked my ass hard a few times. He had his hand around my throat. And like guided my hand to his cock and told me to get it out. I spun towards him and dropped to my knees and started sucking his cock. It was hot feeling him get hard in my mouth. He let me duck his cock for a bit and would then like control my head w his hand holding on to my ponytail and fuck my face. It was hot struggling in his cock and making a mess. While he was using my mouth at one point he like asked if sucking his cock was getting me wet and I was like mhmm without taking my mouth of his cock. And he was like well let’s see or something. It’s hard to remember anything exactly.

He then pulled me up and turned me around and push me forward so I was bent over the side of my couch. He quickly pulled down the shorts and thong i had on before smacking my ass hard a bit more before l got to feel him sliding his big cock inside of me. As he was fucking me he’d also be smacking my ass a lot. Still stinging a little as I right this (currently like 30 min after he left). And he’d also pull me back my hair or push me down into the couch more. I tbink he was saying some stuff like is this what you needed? And between moaning I was like yess, I needed this. It wasn’t too long till he had me spin around and get on my knees again so he could cum on my face. And he accidentally like came in my nose some lol.

I think it was then maybe when he was like kinda being like sorry I came so quick, and saying my pussy was feeling really tight. But like we had planned on him fucking me twice so I didn’t mind at all. I was happy he used me to cum.

We like hydrated and chilled for a bit talking about video games. I was trying to tell him how he needs to check out baldurs gate 3. Lol.

After a little bit I’m asking if I can suck his cock again. I could still taste myself on his cock. He was a bit rougher this time w my mouth and slapped my face some.

He has me get up on the couch and fucks me from behind again. Carries on w all the goodness of smacking my ass hard and pulling my hair and kinda pushing me around. I don’t remember any specifics but def was some dirty talk about how good it was and at one point him telling me to cum on his cock. Which I did like 3 or 4 times. He ended up not cumming again which is a bit of a bummer but def was like such a fun time. No one else I’m seeing is being as rough when they use me and I just soo love it.

[dumplingsjinson]

Incoming rant because I think I'm overthinking things but I also feel like I'm not; I'm just overall upset and anxious and feeling so embarrassed for myself for being like this.

So cat guy is dry as fuck with his texts after the second date. Like... he doesn't message me as much anymore. He does initiate conversations but it's like, when I reply, he either emoji reacts to it or leaves me on read. He doesn't use as many emojis in his texts as much anymore, either. He used to send random reels and posts but now he rarely does that. I mean, he did send one at like 4am this morning so that's sweet, but would he have sent anything if I didn't initiate the conversation somehow? To be fair, he did send me a message like two hours prior to him sending that post, which was a response to a message I sent. So he kinda like... Did a double text lol. (This is me reading into things, and that's how I try to make myself feel better but it rarely works.)

And I just feel like things are off, y'know?

But I also feel like I'm overthinking things.

I'm reading into things too much now that I actually like him (apparently that's what I do when I like someone. I think I have attachment issues which I absolutely hate. I hate being like this. I hate being overly anxious and an over thinker. I hate being that annoying ass bitch who needs reassurance). I'm wondering if he even actually wants to see me again even though he did say he hopes to see me again soon after the second date, because maybe he's changed his mind. I keep looking back at past messages to see what's changed. I scroll back to the message he sent after the first date and compare it to the message he sent after the second date and am like... Hm. Different wording. Is this a sign of disinterest? Is he lying? Maybe he's lying. Maybe he doesn't want to see me again, but is only doing this to be polite.

I keep wondering if maybe I did something to make him lose interest (I'm assuming he has based purely off of his texts and shit). Is it something I said? Am I at fault here?

I keep obsessing over the little details, whereas I used to not. I keep re-reading old messages to see what's changed. And it just sucks ass if he has lost interest because this is literally a story of "He liked her first, she ended up liking him back, and now he's lost interest".

Granted, he does have work and university but even back then when he was busy, he'd like... Message me in between.

But then again, I can't just act like he's the only one at fault here (maybe he isn't even at fault and it's all in my head). I also feel like I should start to initiate things more. Maybe I'm showing signs of disinterest by delaying my response time whenever he messages me (my brain works in weird ways. Like, when I like someone, I feel like responding right away is gonna scare them off, because I don't wanna be clingy or needy or whatever which is really, really stupid, but I can't help it), and not messaging him first. Maybe he thinks, "Oh God, maybe she's not interested in me?"

Maybe my own messaging pattern has changed and he senses that, because I can tell you I was quicker with responses back then myself.

Maybe I'm the one who needs to do better (I know I should do better, honestly), so I'm thinking of asking him out on the picnic date we talked about; see if he's still up for it and gauge his interest that way. Am I worried about being rejected? Yeah, because damn, I like him, so that's gonna sting more if he isn't really interested anymore. We'll see if I'm actually gonna do that, knowing how much of a coward I am. This bitch can kiss someone but can't ask someone out lmfao.

I've just been moping about it for the past few days and spiralling about it and that's why I hate liking someone because this is what my overanxious brain decides to do whenever I like someone: overthink.

And like - I need to do something about it, and if it means I get the closure/answer I need then so be it.

Maybe these seven months of trying to find someone has taken its toll on me and if this falls through then I'll just... You know. Fucking sit back and stop finding someone and maybe hope for a meet cute in real life because I'm sick and tired of this shit. (I probably won't, I'm still holding out hope at this point.)

Maybe I'm just burnt the fuck out, you know?

I get over someone (who I've liked for seven fucking months, but they turn out to be a complete red flag) by liking someone else, but at what cost? My emotional well being, that's what.

My emotions are all over the place, my monthly visitor is here so maybe that's fucking me up even more, and I just want someone to hold so I can cry into their shirt or something because I'm SO DONE.

I just want someone to call mine but apparently that's a very hard ask, and seeing people holding hands and being cute on the streets... Like damn bitch, I want that too. And it feels like I'll never get that.

And also, most importantly, I also need to invest in a therapist because God knows I need one after everything.

[long-suffering-little-spoon]

I JUST REALIZED THAT YOU WATCHED THE OFMD FINALE

H-

How are you feeling 🥲🥲🥲

Pahaha not swimmingly, I'll just say. First I have been doing a bit of the ol' menstruating which means everything is immediately more extreme lol. I've been very conflicted and I'm still not 100% sure how I feel about *THE THING* especially, but this is where I stand right here right now at like 11PM lmao

Under the cut cos this ended up being exponentially longer than I thought it could ever be sorry

Overall I've loved season 2!! It has been so much fun to interact with the community and convert everyone to the Izzy hands cult engage with the fandom week by week. We've had some incredibly beautiful high moments and some lovely refreshing queer joy. I adore the new characters and the developments of our existing ones. I know my negative thoughts here are much more substantial than my positives but this doesn't mean I didn't like it!! I just don't feel the need to describe the positives because I feel like they're pretty obvious and universally recognised, agreed upon and beloved, y'know? (if you want a purely positive thoughts autistic happy flappy hands rant™, i can oblige dw)

Izzy's death is not the only reason I have mixed feelings on the finale. Obviously the episode cuts were a result of HBO'S meddling and isn't the fault of the crew, but the pacing still felt off and everything that happened just kinda washed over me like white noise (haha will wo-). The loose ends were tied up in wholesome ways and if we don't get a season 3 this would be a mostly decent way to end our characters' journeys, if a bit rushed. But then...

Izzy's death. A lot of people feel very very betrayed and hurt by Izzy being killed off, some people don't feel the comfort they used to from this show because of it and no longer want to engage. I don't wanna discount these people's views, more power to them; I cannot stop them from feeling what they feel and doing what they choose. I haven't given up hope on this show but Izzy's death just felt pretty unsatisfying to me?? Putting my bias towards him aside, I get the "killing off mentor at end of second act" trope but I just feel and wish way more could've been done with Izzy. I wanted to see more of him being happy and secure in himself and his found family and his queerness and his disability!! But now I don't get that and it very much stings. I think I could've come to terms more with his death if there had been more time to dwell on it all and get to see the individual characters mourn, but again episode cuts, thanks HBO!! /s. And I know they had the funeral but it still feels like we didn't really get a chance to mourn or treat Izzy's death with the weight it warranted. And I am far too tired especially right now to engage in "is this/is this not bury your gays/disabled character" but I will say I've seen pretty compelling arguments on both sides. As an able-bodied disabled person I don't feel it's fully my place to dictate, but I am upset Izzy was killed right after some big moments in his healing process and being a disabled person and in general just enjoying his life.

Personally I'm not giving up on the show as a whole because the finale left a sour taste in my mouth. I still very much like this show and I'm willing to stick around for a potential season 3 and on future rewatches I'll be able to see the stuff I loved separate from the stuff I didn't. But since looking back now, the latter is most recent, it kind of casts an unpleasant shadow on a very enjoyable season of television.

RIP Izzy Hands you deserved better sweetie, you would've loved Drag Race. And also shoutout to Con O'Neill for a fucking phenomenal performance last season, but especially this one. Izzy was absolutely iconic and a fan favourite for a very good reason, even if imo the writers did him dirty. He was hilarious and a petty little bitch man but then deeply broken and compelling and a genuinely beautiful character with a beautiful journey despite an unfortunate and unjust end?? He slayed.

Wow this was a lot!! Sorry if you were expecting silly goofiness lmfao I got very analysi-ish and a bit melancholic. Thank you so much for the ask JJ, it was a good opportunity to try and express all my thoughts and squish them into something cohesive for both you and me. (And thanks to my friend who I was discussing this with earlier; they helped me get a new perspective by sharing some of his thoughts. Dude, if you're reading this you know who you are, thanks a bunch!!!!)

[saintirulan]

1, 11, 21, 30 <3

hiiiii not me replying 3 weeks later im so sorry 💀 life has been lifeing but i still love these so thank you for asking <33

(these are from identity asks uenwuwh)

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

this one is such a nice & complicated question!! submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being known etc etc <3 so difficult to narrow it down, but here goes!! as far as reading, i think the book that made me feel the most Seen™️ would be the lonely city by olivia laing; there is just something about the way she writes on loneliness and being misunderstood that really speaks to me. also!! my favourite poem is the love song of j. alfred prufrock <33 as far as watching goes i'd definetely name the banshees of inisherin and decision to leave for movies (2022 was a crazy year for me lol) and succession and arcane for series (fucked up siblings & complicated dad stuff my beloveds). also don't read too much into the similarities between these i swear im normal and have never been hurt in my life <3. and for listening, definetely to be loved by aurora. i can't talk about these lyrics ever. also what could have been by sting!

11. describe your ideal day.

sooo i'm not really sure i have an ideal day? my life has been kind of hectic, given the semester abroad, which is not exactly ordinary life, and also ordinary life will look different once i go back anyways. i would say an ideal day has to start with my usual coffee au lait, and then it would ideally include seeing and talking to the people i love, taking my dog out on a walk and explore/learn something. <3

30. pick one of your favourite quotes.

i have so many aaaa since i've been back in my dragon age feelings, i think i'll whip out one of my favourite quotes from inquisition (surprisingly not related to solas/solavellan). it's actually by dorian, another very very very beloved character <3 "my father never understood. living a lie… it festers inside you like poison. you have to fight for what’s in your heart." 💚

21. do you love easily?

putting this one under a read more because it got kinda long and a tiny bit depressing lol (& also because honestly i shouldn't still be dwelling so much on this, god knows its undeserved but alas lol)

a complicated question at a complicated time, i fear. if i had to answer without elaborating i would say no, kind of. i never had any sort of healthy love around me, & some traumatic things happened to me as a result, so i don't really feel too comfortable being vulnerable unless i know that i'm safe and the relationship is somewhat stable & enduring. i do try to be as kind, understanding and caring to anyone, no matter how close i am to them, but it has always taken me a long time to trust people and to open up and to really grow close to them. once i do, i'm loyal to a fault and very very very loving & caring & with a tendency to go above and beyond to spoil & look after people. but again, this question comes at a time where i'm pretty disillusioned with all of it, because i've been hurt immensely sort of recently, and a huge part of the hurt was that any kind & loving gesture of mine was turned into something so ugly and far from the truth, to such an extreme that honestly sometimes i feel very jaded and find myself thinking that it's just not worth it anymore. to think that you can want the absolute best for someone & try to make them happy as much as possible only for it to just... be so uglily misconstrued and thrown aside like nothing and not mean a thing to the other person is just something i wouldn't easily wish on anyone else, especially if they already have trouble with being seen. thankfully i've really worked on not closing off to new people & asking for support & so met amazing loving people since then, who in such a little time have helped me immensely - but underneath it all, sometimes i wonder if i'm damaged beyond repair. (which sounds very dramatic but it is what it is 😵‍💫)

[clits-and-clips]

Hey…as someone who has been in a similar position I truly believe you have to give it time and sad to say…cease contact for while. I know dude…it seems impossible it seems scary probably gut wrenching, but your health comes first. If you’re worried about time honestly fuck time. Everyone heals in their own way not everyone bounces back immediately. Not everyone handles situations the same and that’s okay.

You don’t even have to go cold turkey on communication. I always say to myself work with the issues instead of against it. Slowly kind of weening off also is a valid option.

I know the fact that it feels like it’s hurting you more than him and yeah that shit stings man. But again you have to take care of yourself. Even if you’re shitting crying and shaking it will become more bearable. Yes you will have these days and again THATS OKAY!! Regressing is part of the process of healing just try your hardest not to dwell and stay active.

It took me almost a year or two to get over that bond I had with my ex, attachment as well. Even though the thought of him moving on still kinda makes me feel a way, but I’ve realized it’s more so I’m afraid of being left behind stuck in the same place while possibly he flourishes in life. There are differences in our situation so I can only speak so much, but a lot of what you’re going through emotionally wise I get it man.

Like rn it’s hard for me to be social and have relationships with people because I’m scared honestly lol. Even platonically. At this point, I’m just taking this time to get to know myself and pay more attention to my hobbies. I’m also trying to force myself to do more things alone and volunteer places like community gardens and pantries. I’m not even there to make connection with people. if I do, cool, but It’s more so exposure therapy for me lol.

You got this man. Always give yourself, patience, grace and kindness. That’s my mantra lately lol.

I know I’m just a stranger but I do care. I don’t ever want anyone to feel this way.

Stay well and busy chief 🫡

Not talking to him at all has been difficult and I haven't managed to do it except for one day so far. I've been going up and down so much and just cannot accept that it's over. I honestly don't know where to go from here. I never thought we would ever break up so it's fucking hard. I do worry if I dont give him space and stop messaging that I'm going to push him away tho. The only way to stop that from happening is to focus on me which I'm trying so so hard to do, but none of it seems worth it which I've said before. I feel stupid cause I've said all of this before and I can't stop going on a loop at this point.

I appreciate the message and I will try and keep it in mind. I know I'll move on eventually but right now it's not what i want. All I think about is mending it and being with him again but I think its hurting me more than I'd like to admit. No matter how many times people and family tell me I need to accept it I just can't. And I know it takes effort to focus on the good and time and space to make it happen but I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet. I have no friends to hang out with to take my mind off it, no job to go to every day, and as much as I'd like to get a job I have struggled so hard with my anxiety it just seems impossible. Anyway thank you again I appreciate it♡♡

[acaciapines]

#420 BLAZE IT

oh of COURSE

Hard of Hearing – Radical Face (Redux)

sraf doesn’t have nightmares, ‘cause nightmare is a stupid dumb witch-word and he’s not a witch and also it makes people look at him sad sad sad and he HATES that, and so nightmares ARE NOT IT. OKAY. NOT NIGHTMARES KING.

but sometimes still he.

sleeping is new too. even as the days become weeks months one-day-years and all the time kinda seems the same but it goes goes goes, as it goes on sleeping is a thing he can do. he makes himself a nest like grr-click-growl’s, balancing himself on her back to get all the twigs and leaves and also blankets ‘cause the owl lady please-call-me-eda said he also needed those too. so sleeping and nest are good things ‘n they like the owl words for them best-of-all, ‘cause the rolling grumbling growly mine mine mine is something held close to their chest.

but despite that sometimes the sleeping is.

it’s like he’s back-there again. tablet sometimes. the tablet never really goes away but that’s been so always, ‘n so what really gets to him, the kinda stuff that means all the sounds he can make are bad bad bad and hiding small-scared how he never wants to be, is when he’s back in the trap and looking at king and feeling the stinging burn of claws across their cheek.

like he’s back-then and he knows what happens, knows how titan’s blood sizzled crackle-pop and the trap was shattered, and king growled in a way that meant both anger anger but also you-here-good, and they didn’t know what to do, and so much happened, but it’s the stuff that leads to him here and he likes here. and he knows now he’s safe even if safe is sometimes something he has to bite onto ‘cause elsewise he loses it.

but in the bad-seeing-story there is no blood and there is just the trap, like the tablet. there are all the witches who were there around him and their magic that cut sharp, ‘n him staring down there and the way the barrier shimmered between them and king, and he couldn’t breathe.

those are the things that send him bolting up so fast he smashes his head on the ceiling and there trembling in the air has to remember here here here and that here is a place he doesn’t want to blast apart. that here is good safe mine and nobody hurts him anymore.

he never tells king about them ‘cause he doesn’t know how to say sometimes i see you and think you’re gonna put me back there again.

he never tells king ‘cause sometimes when it’s real dark and empty he thinks at least back then it was easy to know how you felt about me.

Commentary

okay so i was going to do haha silly joke but then i saw what song is actually 420 and went FUCK and so instead its very sincere explorations of sraf instead lol.

first off! i've clarified in the other posts but sraf is indeed the collector--sraf is the translated version of what firefly (the owl beast, here sraf calls her 'grr-click-growl' which are the sounds for her name) calls him and that he eventually adopts bc he's never been particularly attached to 'the collector' as a name.

and now what even to SAY like.

sraf is. Dealing With A Lot Post-Canon Yes Yes? he and king have a REALLY messy relationship, and here sraf is thinking of and referring to a specific event that happens between them in for the future--it's a big scene so i won't elaborate on it due to spoilers, but there are pieces here and there to put together at least a sketch of it.

but that event is this moment of like--it is SO CLEAR to sraf that king is only using him. and like, obviously this isnt true and its so much more complicated than that, but at the moment its like a repeat of all the other times people have betrayed sraf in the past, that the black-white of it all becomes very sharp.

and now post-canon they share a mom and a house but they arent really friends and neither of them are really able to deal with that. its messy!

also if you cannot tell sraf thinks a lot in owl-terms--he's very very close to firefly and IS indeed otherkin, being an owl beast, though he does not have those words lol since he really just talks to firefly about this and she is very helpful, but also a big owl. his identity has always been pretty messy but here its easy for him to work at being a good owl, because its a goal that isnt tied up in all his past which he is for sure nowhere near dealing with.

basically: sraf my beloved they are the best owl house character and i love them so so much <3

[dokuhai]

OOC. Admittedly I've been lurking a bit ( the bae and I have had so many busy weekends and plans since before we even left for Japan, which has been a lot for two introverts lmfaooo so I've just been trying to take it easy + am also coming to terms with how my adhd impacts literally Everything I Do™ these days fhsdjfn ) but I know @godkilller mentioned my lovely vampire verse sims a while back ( which i'm still working on!!! ) and OF COURSE I NEED TO SHOW THOSE THAT ARE INTERESTED LOL ( dw i'm using a read-more in case you're like 'jackie no one cares about ur sims' ) hdsjkfh

OKAY SO here's vamp!Gin showing off his baby blues and being all cute and innocent-seeming. I'm super happy with how he came out!! here's a full body version of him because i'm also super happy with his outfit hfdkjshfks

WHAT A HOTTIE AMIRITE?! Look at that long black jacket! THOSE COMBAT BOOTS! he's a spooky figure lurking the streets at night hfdjskhfks BUT WHEN he's not looking all human-like, he's got fangs and the whites of his eyes turn black and his irises turn an almost neon blue color ( he's hot in all forms okay )

Here's a picture of vamp!Gin reading in his loft-style apartment ( apparently he loves to read??? the more you know! )

AAAAA I LOVE HIM HE'S SUCH A DORK. LOOK AT HIM JUST SITTING THERE. PRECIOUS BBY.

Speaking of precious babies, here's him with his stray cat friendo named Asparagus - leave it to Gin to befriend a cat in a dinosaur onesie JKDSBVKSD

LOOK AT HIS FACE / LIPS ALL PUCKERED I LITERALLY CAN'T WITH THIS LOL

okay so NOW ONTO THE LOVELY RANGIKU:

she's such a fucking babe it drives me nuts fhsdkjfhks I gave her shorter hair since that's the cut she sports for the most part in that verse ( kinda like the blood war haircut she has?? ) i want to get her to a more yellowy-blonde color but for now that's the best I could do. Here's a closeup of her cute lil face ( yes she has freckles FIGHT ME )

She wears primarily silver jewelry as it stings any vamps that get too close to her in this verse. god i love her i am SMITTEN---

HERE'S A PICTURE OF HER OVER A CAULDRON CONCOCTING HER LIL POTIONS ( god i wish she would step on me, i'd literally hop right into this pit of boiling hot potion water if she asked me to--- )

SHE'S SO CUTE I CANT.

Also here's a picture of her hanging out with her bestie ( aka Izuru - my Rangiku is besties with Izuru in every verse ok fskdjfhks ) AND YES HE'S ENTHUSIASTICALLY TALKING ABOUT LLAMAS??? Izuru why??? lmfaoooo

I tried to get a picture of hunter!Rangiku and vamp!Gin on a date, but he literally pulled out this juicebox and photobombed what could've been a cute pic ( how on brand hfdskjfhsd )

LIKE WHAT KIND OF VAMP CAPRI-SUN IS THAT!??!?!? LMAO

OKAY LAST BUT NOT LEAST -- here is the only and only Aizen! He's got his everyday 'innocent' human-esque look, and his own vamp look ( since he's a big bad trying to become a fucking demon to acquire more power etc etc )

so innocent amirite ??? reminds me a lot of that one manga panel where he's wearing a scarf and talking to rangiku and toshiro about birthdays ( yes I know he's not wearing a scarf in this picture BUT WORK WITH ME HERE--- )

Here he is with scarier eyes and fangs and all that jazz ( gotta get the slicked back hair ) ( and yes i know his fangs aren't showing here I'M TRYING OKAY--- )

Here's Aizen feasting on some barista and wiping his memory ( what a great Lad )

And of course, I gotta get the Aizen and Gin chess-playing shot ( they literally Detest each other in this game I'VE TRIED TO HARD TO GET THEM TO BE FRIENDS but Gin rejected him and Aizen declared Gin officially his 'enemy' - it's amazing I even got THIS screenshot / usually they just go straight into a vampire brawl lmfao )

ANYWAY I HOPE Y'ALL ENJOYED THIS I WOULD LOVE TO POST MORE CONTENT IF PPL ARE INTERESTED! i really want to get Keiko in this verse but we'll see how possible that is lmao hfjksdhfs ANYWAY CARRY ON---