#which is to say i may be talking shite

[thedreadvampy]

I think there's a huge gap in language when talking about British legislative and social racism bc some of the most overt and unchallenged legislative racism lately is against GRT people and a lot of countries (especially America) do not use the term GRT.

The G in GRT stands for Gypsy (using this bc it's as-self-described, like it's the term the British GRT community uses often) and bc this is for a lot of people exclusively a slur and bc it has a lot of historical weight, people will often object to use of the expanded acronym slash try to correct it to Roma or Rroma.

But the GRT community as a political class and as a group subject to racism includes, but is not synonymous with, Roma, cause it also includes Irish Travelers (who are another large nomadic minority ethnic group, aka Pavee), Scottish, English and Welsh Travelers (a mix of indigenous nomadic groups), and other nomadic peoples in Britain.

In some, but not all, contexts, GRT also includes non-ethnic nomadic communities: New Age Travelers (people living nomadic lifestyles by choice - full-time caravanners or van lifers), Bargees (people living full time in canal boats) and showmen (traveling funfairs and circuses). Not being a specific ethnicity, New Agers and Showmen have a different relationship to racism and marginalisation than Roma and Travelers (a settled Roma or Traveler family are still Roma or Traveler, it's not just a question of lifestyle and community) but obviously anti-Traveler legislation and bias harms everyone living nomadically.

I think (and I'm not GRT and my thoughts should be taken with a truckload of salt, I just feel like it's worth explaining what the terminology actually means) that a lot of the nuance around GRT identity is kind of lost in transnational discourse (particularly with Americans) because. the G bit of GRT has been used as a blanket term for hundreds of years to refer to multiple groups of nomadic peoples in Europe and so there are ethnocultural groups included under that term who aren't Roma but also are GRT and are racialised as GRT.

People racialised within the GRT community (as Roma or Travelers) experience way higher rates of social and economic exclusion than any other ethnogroups in the UK, including if they're settled (living in brick-and-mortar housing, which around 75% of people recorded as GRT do).

Both Roma and Traveler kids are systemically excluded from education (Gypsy/Roma kids are 6x more likely to be suspended from school and 7x as likely to be expelled than the national average, and Traveler kids aren't much better off (4x more likely than average to be suspended and 5x as likely to be expelled)). GRT people face systemic employment discrimination, being 6x more likely than average to be long term unemployed and 1/4 as likely to be offered high-level or management positions. GRT folk have the worst health outcomes of any ethnic group, and consistently report high levels of medical discrimination and trouble accessing healthcare. As a result, GRT infant mortality and maternal death is way higher than average, and GRT life expectancy is 10+ years shorter than average. GRT communities are disproportionately criminalised, settled GRT families have spoken often about having been treated as inherently suspicious on the basis of their ethnicity.

A lot of people write these issues off as being, like, a product of a nomadic/no-fixed-address lifestyle, but a) it's a problem with the system if our social care systems don't account for the fact that some people are nomadic, itinerant or have no fixed address. there is no reason why nomadic life needs to be more dangerous or excluded than settled. but also b) as stated a majority of GRT people included in these figures do have fixed addresses. it is just racism.

Homelessness is also a huge problem in the community, with many landowners refusing to rent land to Travellers, residential camping berths being oversubscribed by something like 10,000%, and significant difficulty accessing affordable housing. The land which is available to Traveling communities is increasingly ringfenced, often specifically with the intention of discouraging nomadic communities.

given that it is. racism. with an exceptionally long and brutal history of genocide, criminalisation and systemic social exclusion. it is also striking how often open, sometimes genocidal, racism against GRT people is handwaved or accepted as normal. anti-GRT legislation is explicitly passed on the regular. people are incredibly comfortable referring to all GRT people as thieves, scroungers, criminals and frauds. I have had literal circular mailings offering to "remove vermin, pests and Gypsies from your land." and yet calling this racism is often treated as an overstatement. Even though it's explicitly ethnically-driven bias, and has deeply entrenched social impacts affecting everyone racialised as GRT regardless of cultural behaviour or lifestyle.

anyway that's what GRT means, it stands for Gypsy/Roma/Traveller and it's an extremely underserved and marginalised racialised group in the UK and Europe. It includes Romani ethnic groups, but also includes non-Roma ethnic groups (like the Pavee) and Roma subgroups (like Sinti). They're united by a common experience of anti-nomadic racism, criminalisation and social exclusion and, as an aggregate group, are consistently among the most directly disadvantaged racial groups in the UK.

[otomiyaa]

Ticklish Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae x Reader

Erotic🔞 + 49. Please don't tell me you heard that. Requested by anon for my 1K Followers Event🌻

Warning: this thing surpassed what I usually call a 'drabble' and turned into a 1.8K fic or whatever you'd call this shite😌

Long, elegant hair.

Majestic, translucent green horns.

Bright green eyes that stared into your soul.

The cutest pointy ears!

Your boyfriend's Vidyadhara form was really something else. Not that he would often show you.

Which you respected of course. Dan Heng was just 'himself', as he would say it. The way he looked when you got to know him, the day you joined the crew of the Astral Express. The way most people knew him; short hair, black turtleneck along with a white and green-colored coat.

Nothing wrong with that. In fact, that was just the way he looked when you first fell for him too. But when you got to know his true form, the one resembling a dragon. Well fuck.

"Never?"

March 7th asked you in disbelief. You nodded. The two of you had been chatting in your room over some tea when the topic came up, and you explained to her that Dan Heng was never in his dragon form with you around.

"Never when we are alone. At least, not when I am looking."

"Not even when...?" She grinned in a certain way and immediately giggled. Ah, the dirty girl. You chuckled and shook your head.

"Never," you said again, and you sighed. In the time you dated him, already past the 1-year mark to be exact, he didn't turn into his true form when it was just the two of you, and you were too shy to ask.

It was like asking a normal human boyfriend to get naked or peel off his skin. Then again, he would easily transform in the heat of a battle. Maybe it was too personal to ask, or rather than asking him to get naked it could equal to asking him to get into his battle form. No, you really had no idea.

"That's too bad. I think I saw him a few times in that form. He's really beautiful," March said.

"That would be only twice for me, in battle. I don't know, maybe I should just ask. But I don't want to offend him and make things awkward."

"He's your boyfriend. I'm sure you can be honest!" March cheered you up, and you smiled.

"Thank you. Maybe you're right," you said, not entirely convinced but glad she sounded supportive.

"Well then, I should go. Call me when you want to talk more, or if you need my help to convince Dan Heng into transforming more. I have my ways," March said cheerfully as you guided her to the door.

"Hehe yeah, thanks!" You opened the door, and both you and March yelped in surprise to see Dan Heng standing there.

"Oh h-hi dear! You're... early?" you said nervously, but you checked the time and realized he wasn't early, but you were late. Your chat with March had completely distracted you and caused you to forget the time you would told Dan Heng you'd be in his room. It got so late he came to pick you up!

Dan Heng humbly shrugged. "May I come in?"

March shot him a glance and hopped away, giggling. "Have a nice evening you two!" she chirped.

You blushed as Dan Heng came into your messy room. You quickly kicked at some of the mess on the floor and shyly shot him a glance before turning your back towards him in embarrassment.

"Sorry about the mess. Also... Please don't tell me you heard that. What was just said, I mean- uh... were you waiting a long time?" you asked nervously, hoping he didn't overhear your girl talk with March that was specifically about him.

"I didn't."

"....Really?"

"Really. I have no idea what you're talking about," Dan Heng said, and you sighed in relief and turned to face him again.

"Alright then, it wasn't much anywa-YAH?!" you squeaked when before you stood Dan Heng... in... his Vidyadhara form! Eh?!

"Dan Heng..." You gaped at him. He was truly beautiful, but...

"Why are you..?" you wondered, but Dan Heng merely shrugged and moved his long hair over his shoulder as if he didn't know what to do with himself in this form if it wasn't using his powers for battle.

"Just... felt like it."

You could see a blush on his cheeks.

"Are you sure you didn't hear anything just now?" you asked, knowing this couldn't be a coincidence. You were talking about it and he literally transformed moments after! But he shook his head again.

"I didn't." That little liar! Not that you minded.... You slowly stepped towards him as he kept just standing there. He didn't look uncomfortable showing you this form, but he did seem.... a little shy.

"Actually I never saw you like this.. from up close, I mean," you said, carefully reaching out to touch his cheek.

"Is this okay?" you asked. Seemed like it was. He even leaned into your touch like a cuddly cat, ah, so cute.

"It's okay," he said. You reached for his ear and softly brushed your finger along his pointy ear. He shuddered visibly and even let out a little sigh.

"So you really wanted to transform, just because?" you asked curiously, now reaching for his other ear too. They were so cute... Dan Heng nodded and his shoulders were shaking a little.

"Yehes, just b-because."

You started to feel less shy now he was being like this, especially when he stumbled backwards and clumsily sat down on your bed. You moved down as well and settled yourself in his lap. With both hands you moved his long hair behind his shoulders and lightly caressed his neck with soft wiggling fingers, hoping it would tickle. It did.

"I see, what a coincidence," you said, watching the beautiful smile on his face.

"S-so you mahahay stohohop nohohow," he laughed politely. You may stop now, really? He was adorable.

"Because it tickles?" you wondered, and you went back to tickling his ears. Dan Heng gasped and tried to scrunch up his shoulders, but it didn't help him much.

"It d-doesn't hehe, juhuhust... Ahh!" Eep, was that a little moan? Straddling him, you could feel him writhe and squirm beneath you, and you were wondering if you were imagining it, or was that a little bulge you felt? Was he really getting hard now... already?

"So, it doesn't tickle? And you didn't overhear my conversation either? To think that a day would come when you tell me these lies with a straight face," you said teasingly, and to surprise him you moved both your hands down and tickled his sides.

"AHhah!" Dan Heng cried out and bucked his hips. You bounced on top of him but managed to keep your balance.

"Noho-wait- ahahack! Dohohon't!" Dan Heng tried to keep his cool, but instead of managing to chase you off him, he merely fell back. His long hair looked elegant around him as he arched his back, his hands prying at yours. He was breathing heavily and a deep blush could be seen on his cheeks.

"Baby...." Entranced, you continued to tickle him.

"Plehease," Dan Heng moaned. You had never seen him this erotic before. He was moaning and panting, and suddenly his breathing quickened.

You instinctively reached down and felt the bulge in his pants. Dan Heng let out squeaky moan and shook his head.

"D-don't look- ahh," he managed to say. "It's e-embarrassing- hngh!" You rubbed the bulge in his pants and were surprised he was already so hard.

"Please allow me," you begged. He looked so erotic, yet so embarrassed. Was Dan Heng in this form, uh, hornier? More sensitive maybe? Was that why he was reluctant to show you, before he overheard your talk with March? Maybe.

Dan Heng nodded but covered his face with his hand. "If you must," he said, causing you to laugh.

"Now now baby, don't be like this. I'll only make you feel good. But if you want me to stop for real, please tell me clearly."

No answer came to that, and when he lifted his hips so you could undress him more easily, you knew he was just embarrassed but not against it.

Your eyes widened when you saw how hard he was and he looked, well yeah.. larger than his usual erection. To think he had been hiding this from you for over a year.

Still covering his eyes, Dan Heng shook his head. "Don't stare at it."

Pffft! To tease him, you lightly tickled his inner thigh, very close to the base of his dick, and you were surprised to hear a loud giggly moan coming from him.

"NAhah! Whahat- hehe?" he giggled adorably, moving one hand from his face to look at you with one eye, which looked like it had teared up a little.

"You said don't stare at it, so I'm tickling you," you said, moving the tickling from his thigh to the huge erection itself. You lightly scribbled your fingers against it, giggling when Dan Heng shuddered and moaned. At this point it didn't even tickle him, he just felt so much pleasure.

"P-please- ah," Dan Heng moaned, moving his hips slightly as you stroked him firmly.

"Please, what?" you asked curiously. Was he still going to be embarrassed about this?

"Please, don't stop." Oh, he wasn't! With a smile on your face, you continued to pleasure him.

"Don't worry, I won't stop," you reassured, and to add to that, you started tickling him again, his inner thigh and hip, while you continued to stroke him, and Dan Heng's giggly moans and heavy wheezes were everything to turn you on to the fullest as well.

It didn't take long before he came all over you - his orgasm huge, sticky and long - and you watched him in amazement. That was quite a mystical orgasm, if you had to describe it in some way. Dan Heng stared at you, finally uncovering his face entirely.

"You don't hate it?"

Oh, huh? You shook your head to awaken from your trance. "W-what?"

"This. I'm different like this. You don't hate it?" Dan Heng asked. He was still breathing heavily. With the blush on his face, tears in his eyes and the eh... Your eyes scanned his body and tried to focus on his face again. The cum all over his stomach... He looked too erotic for his own good.

"Of course I don't hate it. I love it," you said, and you leaned down and gave him a kiss. He kissed you back with passion.

"That's a relief," he muttered breathlessly before kissing you even more. You still didn't understand everything about his Vidyadhara form, except that he appeared more sensitive (and erotic?!) than in his everyday form, but still.

You were glad and loved that he finally showed the real him to you. So much that you would let him get away with his silly lies. Even the next day, Dan Heng claimed he did not overhear your chat with March, and that he 'just felt like' finally transforming by your side. Such a lovely little liar!

[celaenaeiln]

it is in my humble opinion that in a demigod child situation, Dick Grayson would be either a child of Ares, Athena, or Aphrodite. Athena and Aphrodite are pretty obvious, he's smart and he's charming and he's bloody terrifying. but Ares. Oh Boy Do I Love That Guy and here is why.

modern media portrays Ares as a misogynistic asshole. this is just untrue. Ares is the only male Olympian without a history of SA and in fact adores & respects women. he is the father of the Amazons and has the title "the god feasted by women" Dick Grayson (apparently) is perceived as a womanizer and cheater. That Is Not True At All. he loves and respects women.

Ares is often portrayed as being a force of nature, uncaring of the law. that is also false. he's also the god of rebellion and civil order, an ally of Themis, the goddess of justice Dick Grayson, yes he can be a feral little shite (and i say this with full adoration), he's still a police and stands for the people, he brings justice in both his day and night job

there's a common conception that Ares is a meatheaded guy who only likes war and violence. once again, untrue. you need strategy for war, Ares simply represents the brutal aspects of war but he's still a smart guy as seen with the Romans adopting Ares into Mars. not to mention, Ares understands that in war there are winners and losers Dick Grayson is often seen as ditzy or less smart than his siblings (especially Tim) when in reality he's a very capable and smart guy who understands that loss happens at times

Ares cares about his family, especially his mother. when two giants threatened his mother, Hera, he was the first to fight for her. i don't need to talk about how much Dick cares for his family right? i'll admit though, this point is less polished than the rest

as much as i love the PJO series, i HATE their characterization of Ares being a crappy dad. the reality is that he disobeyed Zeus to avenge his children in the Trojan War. he committed murder and was sentenced to trial for his daughter. The Amazonian Warriors. he may not be the best at affection but he's a caring dad Dick Grayson is not the perfect brother/mentor/father figure but he's trying and doing his best goddamnit. i'm sick of people saying he's not

anger is an essential part to Ares. anger is an essential part to Dick Grayson

there's a common portrayal of Ares and Aphrodite where Ares treats Aphrodite like shite. let's be honest, the goddess of love (a war goddess, by the way if you look up Aphrodite Areia) would not let herself be treated poorly. my personal belief on why this portrayal exists lies with the whole Hephaestus debacle in which i believe Hephaestus was the crap guy here but that's another topic i'd discuss with another shot I Do Not Care What You Say, Starfire and Nightwing Are Not The Shitty Relationship You Think They Are

in (i think) two different stories, it's shown that Ares can dance. it makes sense. footwork is important in battle. footwork is important in acrobatics. Dick Grayson knows what he's doing

in many myths, Ares is treated like crap by his siblings and although this is another half baked point, i feel like it's a bit common for Dick Grayson to be treated like crap by his loved ones

i love Ares and i love Dick Grayson and sadly they both have poor representation in mass media. thank you for listening, i am so fucking tipsy (maybe drunk actually) right now.

damn.

[thebibutterflyao3]

Day 22 - Prompt: Rough @wolfstarmicrofic

January Daily Series - 907 words

<<<Previous Post OR Start Here

Remus smirked at last night’s texting conversation with Sirius, which was temporarily interrupted by Regulus and James.

Padfoot’s Dad🐶: I disagree. The Greeks may be visionaries, but the Romans were revolutionaries.

Remus: Just because they built fancy streets and aqueducts?

Padfoot’s Dad🐶: Their infrastructure lasted centuries!

Remus: So? They plagiarised their entire religion and stole both of those concepts from other cultures.

Padfoot’s Dad🐶: They improved them!

Remus: That’s hardly objective evidence.

Padfoot’s Dad🐶: It doesn’t aldnbnsmzm.,,

Remus: Are you okay?

Padfoot’s Dad🐶: omg u r talking ancient civ shite

Remus: ?

Padfoot’s Dad🐶: This is pathetic. Both of you are twats.

Padfoot’s Dad🐶: be nice reg

Padfoot’s Dad🐶: ✨No.✨

Remus: Both of you stfu and give Sirius back his phone.

Padfoot’s Dad🐶: This is an intervention. Grow a pair and shag already.

Remus: Like you & James? Go on, let’s hear all about it.

Padfoot’s Dad🐶: Piss off.

Remus: Slag. What did you do to Sirius?

Padfoot’s Dad🐶: James is sitting on him. He says that he’s very wiggly.

Remus: Tell Sirius to call me when he’s free.

He hadn’t heard from Sirius since, which he assumed meant that they confiscated his phone during their rather rough “intervention.” It amused him to see Regulus was still a menace even after James won him over. Sirius’s silence was less so.

After a quick check of social media revealed that the Black brothers were at a familiar pub, Remus hauled himself off of his sofa and showered. He’d call Lily on the way. She was usually up for a night out. If nothing else, he would get to watch Sirius dance again. That was worth the effort.

When he followed Lily into the pub, the bass pounding through the speakers slapped him upside the head. It was loud. Lily clapped excitedly, then dragged him toward the bar.

“Love this song!” she shouted over the din.

Remus recognised it as one by Billie Eilish and shook his head. Lily enjoyed any pop song that she could dance to, but sassy lyrics sucked her right in. He was just glad that she didn’t demand he dance with her. No one wanted that level of awkward on the dance floor.

After he’d bought the first round, Lily disappeared into the crowd with the promise to check in every hour. It was their standard protocol. Remus had a tendency to wander off and forget that she drove him here, after a few rounds.

“Remus!” Mary called, waving as she made her way through the crowd.

He grinned and waved back. Mary was a uni friend that never went back home. She and Lily clicked right away and had been nearly inseparable ever since. By the time she reached him, he’d already ordered her a dirty martini.

“Thank you, love! If you’re here, Lils must be around?”

“Yeah, she just headed that way,” he said, pointing her toward the DJ. “Are you here on your own?”

Mary shook her head, her glossy halo of dark curls bouncing freely. “No, Alice and Tillie are with me. Over there.”

He followed her hand to the row of booths along the wall and was delighted to find Sirius, James, and Regulus chatting with the girls. That was too convenient to dismiss. Remus followed Mary to the booth and listened closely as she explained their plan for the evening.

“After here, we’re heading downtown to the Grim, then to Frank's Place to sober up.”

“Good plan.”

Mary bounded ahead of him and sidled up to Alice, then plopped in her lap. When Remus reached the table, James waved enthusiastically, then scooped Regulus up one-handed and slid over to free up a seat. Regulus didn’t even break eye contact with his brother as he settled onto James’s thighs. Sirius was chatting animatedly when he slid in next to James, but then stopped mid-sentence and stared.

“Remus?” he said, blinking rapidly. “What are you doing here?”

“Lily and I come by regularly.” Remus turned and pointed out the redhead, who had joined a group of girls in a dance circle. “We usually meet up with Mary at some point.”

Mary nodded. “Lils drags him out of his flat at least once a week.”

“But last week, she came alone.”

“No, she didn’t. I was here,” Remus said, shaking his head. He pointed to a booth on the other side of the club.

Sirius groaned and rubbed his hand over his face. “You have to be fucking kidding me.”

“Caught the Sirius and Lily show, did you?” James teased, leaning in to bump Remus’s shoulder. “It was certainly something, wasn’t it?”

Remus hid his smirk behind his drink. It was something alright. She and Sirius were both pissed and grinding on each other pretty intensely, which was hot enough on its own, but then Mary joined them. He’d stayed hidden in a back booth to hide his tenting trousers.

“You said I wasn’t that bad!” Sirius accused, jabbing James’s shoulder.

Regulus swatted his brother away with a threatening look when James winced. “That’s his sore arm, you prick!”

“It wasn’t bad. Just a little…”

“A little nothing, James!” Mary chimed in, shimmying her shoulders. “It was very sexy!”

Sirius was clearly mortified, though Remus couldn’t understand why. He spent the entire evening wishing he had an ounce of Sirius’s rhythm and even a smidge of Lily’s courage.

What I wouldn’t give to be in her shoes that night.

Next Part>>>

[theonceandfuturequeenoftarts]

Harry hosts Festivus

with a group of shades thanks to the resurrection stone. I have been working on this story for two years at this point, and I would love to finish it and post it for Dec. 23 (or sooner), but that hasn't worked out so far, so here's a couple snippets. Someday I'll complete it.

1.

He’ll head to the Burrow tomorrow evening to sleep over and spend Christmas with the Weasleys, but tonight – tonight is going to be something a little different. He’d heard of this thing from an American muggle program, Sane-fields or something, and now seems the perfect time to give it a whirl. As night falls, his nerves start to mount, and he may be a bit liberal with the spiked eggnog, the mulled wine, the fire whiskey… Point is, Harry’s smashed and maybe not in the best frame of mind to be making decisions. Not that he’ll let that stop him. So, with a tipsy flourish, he withdraws the Resurrection Stone from a pocket and turns it. And keeps turning it, until the room fills with the shades of all the people he wants here for this. “I got a lot of problems with you people,” Harry announces. “And now, you’re gonna hear about it.”

2. (But he's definitely not Voldemort...)

"Wait, what?" Harry says, flummoxed. "Why are you here?" The man gazes back evenly. "When the master calls, I cannot help but answer." "Shite, sorry about that." Harry winces.  "My schedule's hardly packed these days," he says dryly. "Though I wonder what you were thinking to draw this motley crew to you." "Well, I thought I was thinking of family," Harry says, dragging a hand through his hair and wobbling when he almost pulls himself off-balance. "..."  The assembled spirits look around at each other dubiously. The man's stare takes on an eerie intensity. Dumbledore's eyes begin to twinkle with tears. Harry only notices it’s gotten quieter. "...Conduct your little ritual," the man says, breaking eye contact to stare off into the fireplace. "Right then, let's get this show on the road!" Harry calls, walking back over to flop into his chair. With pride audible in his voice, Dumbledore says, “Harry, my boy, I’m so–”  And that’s as far as he gets. “Nope,” Harry says abruptly. “Nuh-uh, not a chance – not a peep out of you. This is my airing of grievances, which means you all have to listen to me. Especially you,” he adds, pointing a bit unsteadily at a mildly incensed Dumbledore. “Wh–” Dumbledore tries to speak again, only to quiet himself at Harry’s stern look. (Possibly aided by Sirius cracking his knuckles menacingly, though it’s hard to gauge how useful a beatdown would be against a ghost.) Frowning, Dumbledore gestures demonstratively at the man by the wall. “Him? He got to talk because I asked him a question.”

3.

Harry stares off into space for a moment before turning to Sirius and Remus. “Oi, Padfoot, Moony – level with me. Were you two ever, y’know, together?” Remus goes to answer but is stopped short when Sirius drapes a long arm around his shoulders and leans into him. “I’d love to satisfy your curiosity, Prongslet, but as the saying goes: what happens in animagus form, stays in animagus form,” he announces with a roguish wink.  It’s certainly something to watch mortified resignation take over Remus’ face by degrees before he simply buries it in his hands. Lily reaches over and pats him on the shoulder in long-suffering sympathy. Harry wishes he could offer the man a stiff drink. Around his horrified laughter, James chokes out, “That’s not a saying, Padfoot, you bloody slag!” “Well it should be! Like you wouldn’t’ve been up for a little adventure if Lils had been a doe,” Sirius says, elbowing a suddenly blushing, dazed-looking James in the ribs. “Yes, we were together!” Remus cuts in before Sirius can say anything else inflammatory. Alas, Harry thinks, not quickly enough. “And no, I don’t know what I was thinking.” “I reckon you were thinking I’ve got a great–” “–personality!” Remus interrupts loudly. Snape and Lily both turn to give Remus sceptical looks. Sirius looks gleeful. “Really, Moon? That’s what you’re going with?” James mutters. Remus throws his hands up in defeat. "Absolutely, my personality," Sirius says cheerfully. "Gotten a lot of compliments on my huge, throbbing personality over the years." "If you weren't already dead, I would smother you with a throw pillow." Remus sounds sincere.

[bluespiritshonour]

Maybe they could have used those 20 mins they wasted in the shite episode called Ember Island Players to tie up some loose ends.

Look. ATLA has some of the greatest filler episodes of all time. Sokka's Master and The Beach don't move the plot ahead but they're great! And they were both in Book 3 which was clearly pressed for more screentime. I still wouldn't want them gone from existence.

Ember Island Players not only comes towards the very end of the series, where they had already written themselves into corners they couldn't get out of without more screentime, but it also undid all the development Kataang had. Like, was Aang kissing Katara without consent necessary? I know he berates himself for that and what not—but was it fucking necessary? From an out-of-universe POV. When they knew they wouldn't have enough episodes to properly write them deal with it?

Also, pre Crystal Catacombs Aang doing something like that would at least not have sucked as bad as it did at THIS point in the story.

They also played Sokka crying over Yue for laughs and showed Suki as shallow. When they'd actually talked about Yue and Sokka's feelings with regards to her way back when.

Zuko was so agitated that he attacked Aang for wasting time and not training but he could go to the theatre with them? Okay. Maybe that's character development and he's learnt to let loose.

But they just had to write this epsiode which adds nothing (which is okay since it's a filler) but actually undoes a lot of development that took seasons to happen in a single stroke—when they couldn't even spare ten seconds of Zuko at least saying to someone that he's worried about Mai?

Shite episode all around.

[9leaguesofmirrors]

A Need For Something (a Ross Gaines x Joseph Lisgoe fanfic)

Remember when I said I wanted an tender, intimate Gainsgoe fic (3 words I didn't think could be used in a sentence) based on the above quote? Well, this is it! This was perhaps my biggest challenge because how does one write a tender Gainsgoe fic? The answer: with great difficulty

Please remember that I used the quote as a prompt rather than the scene itself, this is NOT a crossover fic or a rewrite of the actual scene because I haven't seen the show the quote comes from (which I've learned is apparently Outlander)

They were at Ross' house when it happened

Neither of them could remember when they started being around each other socially, but it had something to do with the fact they both liked movies that made others sick to their stomach. So, in the end, it worked out well

Soon, it ended up being a conversation about work. Ross was the one to bring it up, much to the exasperation of Lisgoe, who was much happier focusing on the poor man being torn to shreds on his TV screen

"How far have you gone to collect a debt?"

"Knocked out a lot of teeth," Lisgoe answered casually "I keep those in a jar under my desk. Once smashed someone dick and balls in with my knee - that was fun."

"Do you always use violence? Surely people come to expect that, a change in pace would benefit you-"

Lisgoe looked at the TV, clearly hiding something he didn't want to divulge. After a few darting glances at Ross, who was watching him like a hawk, he caved with a huff

"Maybe once or twice, and I'm not proud of it, I felt like I was pimping myself out. But a few times I've needed to... sweet-talk my way in. Never kissed anyone, and I do not fuck them. The people here look like they were made in a lab."

"You've never kissed one?" There was a hint of surprise present in his tone "I mean, clearly too much is unecessary, but you've never gotten close?"

"No. I'd rather cement myself into a bathtub and let ants eat me alive. Besides, I can't think of a single person that would want to do anything with me except knock me out."

They watched the movie in silence, the only sound being the screams of the actors. After a while, they realised that it wasn't worth it and turned it off. That's when it happened

"I would quite like to."

"Like to what?"

"Kiss you."

Lisgoe looked at him with a confused expression. He couldn't quite believe it - actually, he didn't believe it at all

"What the fuck?"

There was no trace of mockery in Ross' eyes. No trace of smugness on his lips. No raise in the eyebrows

It was as if he were telling the truth

"May I?"

Ross' face was still, which unnerved him slightly

"What the fuck?"

"You've said that already."

"And I'll say it again: what the fuck?"

"Don't swear, it's unnecessary."

"It's completely necessary!" Lisgoe's left eye involuntarily twitched, a tiny tell of confusion "I mean... who just asks that?! Especially you! I thought you were completely against me and everything I am. I also didn't think you knew what a kiss was!"

"Rude. But OK."

"And it just- no! No it's not OK! You just sprung that shite on me out of nowhere!"

"Then pretend I didn't say anything."

The look on Lisgoe's face said it all: are you fucking joking?

In the thick, heavy silence, there was a strange and tense energy that they wanted gone as soon as possible. Lisgoe was the one to break it

"I think the rumours are true."

"Excuse me?"

"The ones about that failed comedian and Legz Akimbo's shite director."

"Why are you gossiping with me like a schoolgirl?"

"It's either that or carrying on with the conversation, and I can't be arsed with that."

There was yet another pause, this seemed to be a trademark in their conversations

"Plimsolls and Tipps, two sour grapes in a bunch." Ross leaned back in his chair "A match made in pathetic Heaven."

"Heaven?" Lisgoe barked out a laugh "Are you sure?"

Neither of them could resist laughing a little at that. Lisgoe was slightly surprised to see Ross let the cold mask slip slightly, seeing him smile (actually smiling, not that arrogant little smirk) was a rare but not completely awful sight. He'd never admit it, even to himself, but Ross himself wasn't an awful sight either

Why the fuck would he ask something like that?

Try as he might, small talk wasn't going to shake their prior conversation from Lisgoe's head. As the silence settled around them again, he realised that he'd never actually answered the question. When Ross refused to meet his gaze, he could tell he wanted a response

"What you asked me wasn't OK."

"You've made that clear-"

"Shut up, I'm talking."

Once again, silence. Anymore and Lisgoe felt he would go mad

"What made it not OK is that it came out of nowhere and you expect me to magic up an answer like some magic bastard."

He stood up and stood in front of Ross with gritted teeth, not quite knowing how to force the words from his throat

"But what makes it a really fucking twisted thing to do," he continued, his voice hard as nails and rising from the pit of his stomach "is the fact that my immediate answer wasn't even no."

Ross stood up slowly, brows furrowed in a questioning gaze

"Excuse me?"

"Fuck off, you heard what I said. You just want it repeated back to you! Go on then, have your stupid fucking ego boost! My answer wasn't no. OK? It. Wasn't. Fucking. No."

"Joseph, calm down." Ross' voice was stern and demanding, his hands gripped at Lisgoe's shoulders to hold him still "For once, can't you talk without blowing up?"

At first, neither of then registered the contact. Once they did, they both froze. Their eye-contact was unbroken, neither knew what to say. Ross almost pulled away, but he noticed a tightness in Lisgoe's jaw that his right hand moved up to touch with a strange quality

A quality that should never be attributed to people like them

There was stillness. Slowness

Lisgoe couldn't understand why he was being treated like this. Nobody ever treated him like this, which he knew was partly because he never let anybody so close - and that was both figurative and literal! Even now, he refused to let his guard down. He wasn't going to close his eyes or let himself lean into those gentle hands. No, he was better than that

"What the fuck are you doing?" His voice was level and direct "You want one over me? Is that it?"

"You still haven't actually given me an answer, you just said the answer isn't no." Ross moved his left hand to Lisgoe's other cheek and repeated his previous question: "May I?"

His hands are warm

"Joseph?"

Why are they so fucking warm?

"Joseph, answer the-"

"Shh, I was about to talk!" He snapped, then composed himself "Yes. You may. If you want to word it like that."

At this point, Ross accepted that talking no longer meant anything, yet he only managed to move so close before his limbs seemed to shut down

Both their eyes were closed, barely a breath away from each other

"I haven't done this in a very long time."

"Ross," came the gravelly reply "do you really think I give a shite?"

That was the only hint needed before the gap between them was closed. It was strange, not the kiss itself, but rather how slow it was. How carefully everything seemed to slip into place, nothing felt rushed or frantic. There was no battle for dominance or control, it was built on a simplicity that was a surprise to both of them

"You've been smoking." Ross observed, only pulling away for a moment "A lot."

"Is that a problem?" He retorted "I only do it when I'm fucked off."

"Do you feel like smoking now?"

"The fuck is this? Rehab?"

"I'm asking because you're tense."

"So what? Doesn't matter, does it? Maybe I am tense, this isn't exactly an everyday occurance for me."

Once again, silence. This time though, it wasn't from awkwardness. Ross was giving him a chance to fill it, to let it spill out

"Why are you being kind to me?" Lisgoe asked "All this... gentle shite. It's like you're biding your time until you have me right where you want me. Then you'll fuck me over. So, if that's what this is, then I'm onto you." His voice contorted into a hollow laugh "So you can fuck off."

"... Joseph, when the hell did I say I was going to do that?"

"That's what people do." He responded, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world "Trust is a weapon, we both know that."

Ross couldn't argue with that. Not because he was lying, but because they'd both used trust as exactly that. A weapon

But now? It was something else, something much more destructive

"You're right." Ross said "I'm doing this for completely selfish reasons."

"I knew it."

"This is entirely for my benefit. Because you could stand here and tell me that you find me the most repulsive, grotesque man in all of Royston Vasey and I would still find a way to you because, as I've already told you, I want something from you. I don't know what, but I need something."

"You said need that time."

"It means the same thing."

"No, it doesn't. But you have that something. I let you kiss me, now can I go? Or is there some more bullshit you want to say?"

Ross went over to where Lisgoe was stood and knelt beside him, which earned him a questioning look

"Are you gonna suck me off or something?"

"No, I'm not."

"Then why the fuck are you kneeling?"

There was no response, instead Ross ran his fingertips slowly up Lisgoe's arm. Although he could feel him shiver slightly, there wasn't any outwardly negative reaction, so he let his hand trail upwards and rest on Lisgoe's upper arm. His other hand carefully guided the man's jaw so they were facing each other, then rested itself on the back of his neck

That warmth again Lisgoe could feel his breath hitch slightly why is it fucking everywhere? It squeezed and wrenched at every part of him, and the more he fought the urge to sink into it, the more it hurt

Then something happened

In the silence, the moment of pause, Lisgoe could feel his mind slipping slowly. And with it, there was something that caused him to gravitate towards Ross. It was invisible, powerful and completely unknown

But their lips fit together like puzzle pieces and there was nothing else

[raylangivins]

twenty questions for fic writers

thank you @acorrespondence for tagging me in this! i love shiteing on about writing :)

How many works do you have on ao3?

33, which shocks me because for some reason in my head the number's permanently at, like, 8.

What's your total ao3 word count?

195,093

What fandoms do you write for?

I mean currently it's beatles rpf 🌝. But also Check Please (specifically jackparse, I have absolutely no interest in anything else), Wolf 359, The Social Network, Community (although none of these are an ao3 due to I wrote them when I was 15), and some random one hit wonders.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

live through this, and you won't look back - Jack/Kent, Check Please

if being afraid is a crime, we hang side by side - Kepler/Jacobi, Wolf 359

baby, it's all relative - John/Paul, Beatles

Time May Change Me - Mark/Eduardo, The Social Network

Five Men Roy Ruined For Jen - Jen/Roy, The IT Crowd

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, always, unless I forget!! I don't know why I wouldn't like, if people are reading I am genuinely excited and grateful for that. Why wouldn't I tell them? (I'm very bad at thinking of things to say which aren't just "I'm glad you enjoyed it", but I try).

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think lately you've been feeling so good i forget my future (in which jack and kent go to prom) is pretty grim not even because the ending itself is the worst but also it foreshadows so much worse to come. Most of my jackparse fic is them as teenagers because I love that "the worst is yet to come" doom that constantly hangs over them in those years. Also one and one and one is three (in which john/paul/yoko have an emotionally fraught threesome). I hurt my own feelings writing that one lol.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Not one of the recent ones, I can tell you that! Although it depends if you mean fluffy or happy by my own metric because EYE think the best happy endings are the ones you have to work through some angst to get. So if you're looking for fluffy, probably Five Men Roy Ruined for Jen; if you're looking for a journey that ends in happiness, then I'd say wouldn't it be? nice makes me feel euphoric at the end.

Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a couple bitchy comments but generally no.

Do you write smut?

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've only written one and it's where Jean-Ralphio from Parks and Rec becomes the Eleventh Doctor's companion in Doctor Who. It's cute, I still like it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

God, I hope not. Although, I did have someone once finish a fic I abandoned on ff.net without really asking me first, which I thought was both flattering and hilarious of them. So true, babe. Write the finished fic you wish to see in the world!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think someone translated one of my old Gossip Girl fics on ff.net, also. I can't remember what language it was though.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I'm not opposed to it.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

All my fave ships are pretty much variations on the same dynamic with a few exceptions. It's comical how consistant I am about this without even trying.

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Tbh I never truly rule anything out. There's a post-canon Justified fic that has lived in my head for years, that I mostly haven't written because it's a lot of work, and I don't really care about sharing it that much it's mostly just for me. There's a Dawson's Creek Pacey genderswap fic I dream of writing, but likely will never bother. There's a beatles fic where Paul can talk to instruments that I actually wrote 20k for but it's so dogshit I can't bear to try to fix it so it's going to just sit on my computer forever probably.

What are your writing strengths?

I hate this question, I'm so bad at identifying these things. Vibes? I think I'm good at dialogue but that's mostly because that's what I start with, so it's like the bones of most of my fics. I've been told I'm good at like being thoughtful to all the different characters in fic even if it's not about them or their POV, which is always a nice thing to hear.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Physical descriptions probably. I don't care about them very much and therefore I don't put as much effort into them as I probably should. Also, I write chronologically so most of my endings are slightly lazier than the rest of the fic.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't know. I've never tried it. As a bilingual person, seeing people who are not bilingual completely miss the nuances of that is actually really irritating. Especially as someone who speaks Portuguese but grew up in an English speaking country, reading TSN fic was so specifically annoying. And don't even get me started on the concept of "untranslateable" words and "saudade".

It can be done well, but often isn't. Also, if you give me a bunch of text in a language I don't know, my brain is just gonna skip over it, so it's often redundant when it's more than, like, a sentence.

First fandom you wrote for?

First fic I published was for Gossip Girl, but when I was like 11 I wrote what was essentially a Life With Derek canon-divergence fic in a copybook that I showed to a teacher in my school.

Favorite fic you've written?

All of them. But some that have not yet been mentioned on this post:

kissing just for practice - Jack/Kent (idk, I set out to do something specific with this fic and I really felt I did)

i want every other freckle - si-5 ot3 kind of (this fic means so much to me)

tomorrow i'll miss you - mclennon before sunset au (before sunset is one of my favourite movies and i worked really hard on this one)

i thought i knew one, what did i know? - paul's girlfriend catches john and paul together (this one makes me crazy and i'm the one who wrote it lol)

tagging: @softbrah @jeanharlowseyebrows @scurator @wurmzirkus @coyotesuspect @midchelle

[fantasticharmonymiracle]

Let me say that I have infinite respect for @thelastaerie for providing us with a ton of fantastic and masterfully written fics about Kay and Marc's love story, truly. However, the entire fandom needs to be true with themselves and realise that if Freier Fall was irl Kay would never, EVER even consider getting back with Marc.

Let me elaborate:

Marc was definitely in love with Kay especially towards the end of the film but that doesn't mean he loved him because he never made the effort, as we know, and never saw Kay as his first choice. He technically was Plan B in case Bettina, which she did, didn't take him back. As romantic as we want to paint it, it doesn't put a good foundation for yet another toxic fling almost fifteen years after.

Also, very problematic is the fact that Kay pursued Marc in a questionable way like in the woods. I didn't hear any consent being given for that hand job or whatever happened (haven't seen the film in a while) and also, Kay clearly saw that Marc was basically married and with a baby on the way. It's not ethical at all to go after a taken man, regardless of the fact that you think he's a closeted gay man and you feel the itching urge to play the saviour angel and drag him out of the closet. I feel like both of them would realise it was certainly a heated time of their life but also not the best to jump back into and bring back chaos into their existence.

Bettina, she's a boss BUT that shower scene I cannot stand to watch, it feels way too violent and if a sequel happens I'm not sure how they should deal with the whole co-parenting deal without addressing that bit.

On top of this all, they may be both men but the punches they threw at each other are not acceptable whatsoever irl. It's not sexy nor a sign of true love. It's plain violence and a cheap substitute for grown-up talk. I get it, in films one has to emphasize emotions to draw the audience in but if I was Kay and I had Marc beg me to get back together... Like fuck I would after that and after I was literally thrown under the bus to save his sorry ass.

In terms of character as well, Kay comes across as a weirdly crafted excuse to drag the plot cause a wannabe cop smoking weed and taking ecstasy is surely "attractive" on camera but doesn't make sense in the real world. Why would you pick police as your career choice? Conquering the enemy from the inside is surely not gonna last that long, innit? This being said, considering the wild nature of Kay I doubt he'd fit well with Marc, even after his potential development and acquired emotional intelligence. I see older Kay as an accomplished something in whichever field having the time of his life in Berlin, or just a deranged junkie somewhere in Germany. Certainly, if we go with option 1, not one that would lower his standards for Marc, still. He wouldn't slow down for him again after being treated like shit.

Irl Marc would probably see the experience as an awakening but it wouldn't do a 180 on him, he'd still be the Stuttgart cop who now admits to himself he likes blokes OR would have a massive identity crisis, drop out of police and have a very hard time for the next 10/15 years, still not good unless we want a Trainspotting kinda love story (meaning the hopeless, scum of the earth vibes).

To end this rambling, not a good match but good entertainment. Certainly magical to read fiction about them because they allow so much freedom for the imagination.

Ps. @thelastaerie PLEASE do a fiction inspired by their other films together (wink wink that military one I can't watch because ffs I don't speak German -yet)

Apologies if this post is utter shite, I'm in the back of a moving car about to chunder and can't put my thoughts into coherent sentences. The main idea is somewhere round here.

[sapphicthunderhead]

I need to talk about Dr. Manuela Dominguez (from The Magnus Archives). This woman Drives Me Insane. [TL; DR at the bottom.]

She is initially presented as a textbook mad scientist: a disgraced astrophysicist bent on ending the world as we know it. But with every nuance and detail introduced about this character over the course of the narrative, my understanding of her shifted. By the end, I felt as if the person she described at the beginning of her first Statement was completely divorced from the twisted thing she became— which is the repugnant truth of what happens to Fear Avatars.

Some key details from her first Statement that really struck me: 1) I can really see myself in her love for physics and her ambition. 2) Her alienation from her fanatically religious, “vicious” parents is a big contributor to her downfall, but never remotely presented as an excuse for her actions. 3) She is so utterly unrepentant.

Regarding her parents: She saw the inconsistencies and hypocrisy in their bigoted beliefs about what is “unnatural,” likely in part because, she says, “I found myself crossing that line from an early age. Although, strangely, out of everything I was, it was always my desire to pursue a scientific career that they railed against with the most energy” (MAG 135: Dark Matter).

(I could be projecting, but this line has caused me to speculate that she might also be gay. If so, it would certainly add another level of pain &/or frustration to her home situation.)

But young Dominguez disregards her parents’ ludicrous exhortations and goes on to become an an expert on dark matter (mysterious masses that cover much of the universe and do not emit, absorb, or interact with photons) and dark energy (mysterious force which may be responsible for the expansion of the universe).

It is in the process of researching these phenomena that she has a spiritual awakening of the worst kind. She soon becomes a disciple and eventually second-in-command to Maxwell Rayner, ringleader of the cult of the Dark, the Church of the Divine Host (said Host being Rayner). As a cultist, she goes on a mission aboard the vessel of allied Fears that is the Daedalus space station. There, she creates The Extinguished Sun— a sun made of dark matter, which the Church uses as a focal point in their ritual of the same name to bring about eternal darkness.

That brings us to the point where this character loses my sympathy in the same way Callum (Rayner’s partial reincarnation?) did in S5. The Extinguished Sun ritual involves keeping Marked individuals (which events in S5 lead me to fear may be predominantly children) trapped and terrified in the dark for extended periods of time, and then sacrificing them to the Dark via drowning, in a callback to the manner in which Halley/Rayner was killed/reborn as a vessel of the infinite darkness that predates time itself.

So How Am I To Cope??? Do you know how often I come across women as mad scientists in media— let alone ones who are ambiguously implied to be gay?! Not often!

But there is a possibility she kills kids, and I can’t tolerate that shite, so all I am left with is immeasurable disappointment in her lack of conscience, and in her for joining a cult instead of getting therapy, and in her parents for being dicks, and in those who have purveyed ignorance and engaged in cruelty “in the name of God” both historically and unto the modern day, and in society for the continued existence of systemic sexism (and other biases), and in the limited number of women, POC, and LGBT+ individuals portrayed as mad (and regular, marginally less fun) scientists in media, etc… It’s quite the web of inequity and suffering, stretching between this world and the fictional.

Dr. Manuela Dominguez is a character who makes me sad that there aren’t more women mad scientist characters in media. If there were, it perhaps might not hurt so much to see her progress from someone whose trials, goals, and motivations I can understand and empathize with, to an unredeemable child killer.

To clarify, I don’t believe the author’s writing of this character was bad or sexist. I don’t feel the same morose regret about what could have been when it comes to Jude Perry; I do when it comes to Agnes Montague; I don’t when it comes to Gertrude; etc. I think that Jonny intended for the audience to at least passively ponder the person that Dr. Dominguez could have been, under different circumstances. It is a feature of the writing of all the Avatars.

One of the core themes of the series is this: How do circumstances (such as economic systems, wink wink nudge nudge) shape people? Dr. Dominguez is just one of many disheartening answers to that question.

TL;DR: Dr. Dominguez started out as a victim of bad parenting, and eventually into an even more sick and twisted version of her parents, who she despised as a child for their zealotry and cruelty. But this might not hurt me so bad to think about if 1) I didn’t relate so much to her younger self, as an aspiring physicist and a sapphic trying to shake off the message that everything that brings me joy is “unnatural” and 2) if she wasn’t the first character I thought of when trying to recall women mad scientists in media.

For those who feel like looking for other fem mad scientists in podcasts, I believe Ava the theoretical physicist from Midnight Burger and doctor/assassin Vespa Ilkay from Penumbra both count. For a sane fem scientist, try the marine biologist protagonist from DOWN. If you think of any others in any kind of media, you’re welcome to respond in the comments or tags.

(I know of Poison Ivy, as well as the more sane Dr. Sattler from “Jurassic Park” and Dr. Calvin from Isaac Asimov’s “I, Robot,” and I appreciate them. You may leave them out of the replies.)

[minti-tales]

what glams do u use on minti??

Anon.

Sweet, wonderful, delightful Anon.

Imagine (with your consent) that I'm pulling you in real close, like Gaston to LeFou, and I'm about to burst into my signature song.

You're in for a good time.

And by good time, I mean an extra long post where I talk about Ms. Minti and her fashions as of the start to the Dawntrail expansion.

I'm writing this the day before Dawntrail drops, so I don't have *everything* available, but I'll update this once servers go back online.

RIGHT. SO. Story time.

Back when I started XIV, I played Arcanist. I had one job. I didn't like that job, so I swapped to Lancer. I kept swapping jobs until I got to, I think Dark Knight? Which I did for a while, until I got to Shadowbringers. I leveled up jobs for the role quests, not much else happened, until I hit Endwalker and start doing Endwalker stuff. It's specifically when I saw the "A Life of Adventure IV" achievement that Things Start Happening.

In case you don't know, "A Life of Adventure IV" says

Obtain the achievements "Mastering War IV" and "Mastering Magic IV."

You get an Amaro mount. For curious sprouts, this is a flying bird(?) mount that appears in the Shadowbringers expansion. Without spoilers, it's pretty special! It doesn't have any special animations, but it's important to the story and will make you cry.

You can't get this bird elsewhere in the game.

What do you need for "Mastering War IV" and "Mastering Magic IV"?

Mastering War IV says

Achieve level 80 as a gladiator, pugilist, marauder, lancer, archer, rogue, dark knight, machinist, samurai, gunbreaker, and dancer.

You get a title. Neat.

Mastering Magic IV says

Achieve level 80 as a conjurer, thaumaturge, arcanist, astrologian, and red mage.

You get a title. Also neat.

What we need to do is get level 80 on all combat jobs that were available to play during the Shadowbringers expansion. As of Dawntrail, that is everything but Sage, Reaper, Blue Mage, Viper, and Pictomancer.

Almost. Every. Combat. Class.

For a bird.

A special bird.

You know what you get for getting all those classes plus Sage and Reaper to 90?

A Chocobo plume.

For your head.

No bird.

No special bird.

So, I had a goal. I had a lot of goals, at the time, that I kept updated on the Notes app on my phone. I started taking Adderall during this time, which I needed for my general mental health, and more recently Lexapro for other pressing mental health needs. Is this too much information? Yes, BUT they helped me to stay focused, get my shite done, and tell my anxiety (which has been my "manager" for a very long time) to stop managing my life.

Reader, gentle reader, I got all those classes up to 90. I got Blue Mage up to 80.

For a bird.

A special bird.

It was worth it.

We're dividing this up into sections. You good? Yes? Hydrated? Had a snack?

If you want me to talk about the glams for the Choir, that's going to be a separate post. I think Tumblr's going to get mad if I make this too long, or, I may lose all this lovely progress in the drafts, because Tumblr does SUCH A GOOD JOB of keeping your drafts saved.

~---~

My Main Classes

As of the start of Dawntrail, I have all available combat classes leveled to 90. Blue Mage is currently maxed out at 80. (No idea when I'm going back to the Carnivale, sorry what's your name. Maybe when I have time in Dawntrail.)

When I run content, I usually choose from:

Warrior or Gunbreaker

White Mage or Sage

Dragoon or Samurai

Dancer or occasionally Bard

Summoner or Red Mage

I like the other classes, but I feel like these are the ones that I vibe with the most. Not too complex, not too simple (with the exception of Summoner), just the right amount of thinking to come out alive and look cool while you're doing your LBs.

~---~

Glams

Please note that I will not be providing the base equipment, just glamours. Everything is organized by role.

~---~

Tank Classes

~---~

Paladin

Current Glam Name: Shiva's Champion

Arms: True Ice Brand/True Ice Shield

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Tigerskin Coat of Fending (Royal Blue Dye)

Hands: Doman Iron Gauntlets of Fending

Legs: Kudzu Longkilt of Fending (Snow White Dye)

Feet: Doman Iron Greaves of Fending

Earring: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Patriot's Choker

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Warrior

Current Glam Name: Monster Hunter, Slayer of Rathalos

Arms: Majestic Manderville Bardiche

Headwear: Rathalos Helm [F]

Body: Rathalos Mail [F]

Hands: Rathalos Vambraces [F]

Legs: Rathalos Coil [F]

Feet: Rathalos Greaves [F]

Earring: Storm Sergeant's Ear Cuffs

Neckpiece: Horn Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Dark Knight

Current Glam: Shadowbringer

Arms: Shadowbringer

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Idealized Bale Cuirass

Hands: Idealized Bale Gauntlets

Legs: Idealized Bale Flanchard

Feet: Idealized Bale Sollerets

Earrings: Augmented Shire Conservator's Earrings

Neckpiece: Patriot's Choker

Bracelet: Ishgardian Historian's Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Gunbreaker

Current Glam: Iron Cowpoke

Arms: Mandervillious Gunblade

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Virtu Bodyguard's Coat (General-purpose Jet Black Dye)

Hands: Metian Gauntlets (General-purpose Dark Brown Dye)

Legs: Virtu Bodyguard's Trousers (General-purpose Dark Blue Dye)

Feet: Outsider's Boots

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Necklace: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

~---~

Healer Classes

~---~

White Mage & Scholar

Current Glam: Ramuh's Grand Arbiter

Arms: Kelesis

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Void Ark Robe of Healing

Hands: Orison Fingerless Gloves (Lavender Purple Dye)

Legs: Kudzu Longkilt of Healing (Lavender Purple Dye)

Feet: Orison Thighboots

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Necklace: Horn Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Weathered Ring (2x)

---

Astrologian

Current Glam: Classic Astrologian

Arms: Dreadwyrm Torquetum

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Welkin Robe

Hands: Welkin Half Sleeves

Legs: Welkin Breeches

Feet: Welkin Shoes

Earrings: Storm Sergeant's Ear Cuffs

Necklace: Horn Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Ring: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Sage

Current Glam: New World Bound

Arms: Isnae Phis

Headwear: Isle Shepherd's Headdress

Body: Peacelover's Shirt (Dalamud Red Dye)

Hands: Ravel Keeper's Halfgloves of Healing (General-purpose Pastel Pink Dye)

Legs: Peacelover's Pantaloons (Othard Blue Dye)

Feet: Expeditioner's Moccasins

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Weathered Ring (2x)

~---~

Melee DPS Classes

~---~

Monk

Current Glam: Turtle Power

Arms: Shinryu's Ephemeral Claws

Headwear: The Emperor's New Hat

Body: Oyoroi of the Blue

Hands: Kote of the Blue

Legs: Tsutsu-hakama of the Blue

Feet: Sune-ate of the Blue

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: Aetherial Coral Armillae

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Dragoon

Current Glam: The Spear of Hydaelyn

Arms: Partisan of Divine Light

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Tiamat Mail

Hands: Tiamat Gauntlets

Legs: Tiamat Trousers

Feet: Tiamat Greaves

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: Aetherial Coral Armillae

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Ninja

Current Glam: Quick As Lightning

Arms: Phthonos

Headwear: Scion Rogue's Bandana

Body: Hachiya Chainmail

Hands: Hachiya Tekko

Legs: Hachiya Tsutsu-hakama

Feet: Hachiya Zori

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Samurai

Current Glam: Cyber Swordswoman

Arms: Mandervillious Samurai Blade

Headwear: Idealized Kasuga Hanbo (General-purpose Metallic Silver Dye)

Body: Idealized Kasuga Haori (Void Blue Dye)

Hands: Idealized Kasuga Kote (Soot Black Dye)

Legs: Idealized Kasuga Tsutsu-hakama (Soot Black Dye)

Feet: Late Allagan Sollerets of Striking (General-purpose Metallic Silver Dye)

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Redbill Scarf

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Reaper

Current Glam: The Mockingbird

Arms: Kinna Sickle

Headwear: Red Viola Corsage

Body: Neo-Ishgardian Top of Maiming (Dalamud Red Dye)

Hands: Muzhik Field Dressing (Dalamud Red Dye)

Legs: Thavnarian Tights (Dalamud Red Dye)

Feet: Scion Healer's Highboots

Earrings: Halonic Friar's Earrings

Neckpiece: Redbill Scarf

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

~---~

Physical Ranged DPS Classes

~---~

Bard

Current Glam: The Song of the Sea

Arms: Storm Captain's Bow

Headwear: Augmented Crystarium Blinder of Aiming (Soot Black Dye)

Body: Aoidos' Cloak (Wine Red Dye)

Hands: Aoidos' Shoulder Gloves (Soot Black Dye)

Legs: Aoidos' Tights

Feet: Lominsan Soldier's Boots

Earrings: Augmented Shire Conservator's Earrings

Neckpiece: Horn Necklace

Bracelet: Aetherial Coral Armillae

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Machinist

Current Glam: Thanalan Outlaw

Arms: Fomalhaut

Headwear: Nabaath Scarf of Aiming

Body: Ravel Keeper's Chestwrap of Aiming (Gobbiebag Brown Dye)

Hands: Gazelleskin Armguards of Aiming (Mole Brown Dye)Rakshasa Hakama of Aiming (Gobbiebag Brown Dye)

Legs: Rakshasa Hakama of Aiming (Gobbiebag Brown Dye)

Feet: Anemos Boots

Earrings: Augmented Shire Conservator's Earrings

Neckpiece: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Dancer

Current Glam: Dancer of Light

Arms: Chakrams of Light

Headwear: Bozjan Hood of Aiming (General-purpose Jet Black Dye)

Body: Ravel Keeper's Chestwrap of Aiming (General-purpose Jet Black Dye)

Hands: Bozjan Armguards of Aiming (General-purpose Jet Black Dye)

Legs: Plain Long Skirt (Wine Red Dye)

Feet: Zonsureskin Sandals of Aiming (General-Purpose Jet Black Dye)

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: Aetherial Coral Armillae

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

~---~

Magic Ranged DPS Classes

~---~

Black Mage

Current Glam: Archmage of Ronka

Arms: Asura's Rod

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Spaekona's Coat

Hands: Spaekona's Wrist Torque

Legs: Spaekona's Skirt

Feet: Spaekona's Shoes

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Necklace: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: The Emperor's New Bracelet

Rings: Weathered Ring (2x)

---

Summoner

Current Glam: ARR Summoner

Arms: Lemegeton Anemos

Headwear: Idealized Beckoner's Horn

Body: Idealized Beckoner's Coat

Hands: Idealized Beckoner's Fingerless Gloves

Legs: Idealized Beckoner's Sarouel

Feet: Idealized Beckoner's Crakows

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Necklace: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: Aetherial Coral Armillae

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

---

Red Mage

Current Glam: The Cavalier of Roses

Arms: Tropaios Rapier

Headwear: Pince-nez

Body: Virtu Duelist's Tabard

Hands: Virtu Duelist's Gloves

Legs: Virtu Duelist's Breeches

Feet: Virtu Duelist's Thighboots

Earrings: Royal Volunteer's Earrings of Casting

Neckpiece: Horn Necklace

Bracelet: Aetherial Coral Armillae

Rings: Hero's Ring of Healing (2x)

~---~

Limited Classes

~---~

Blue Mage

Current Glam: It's A Blue, Blue, Blue Blue Mage

Arms: The Spirit of the Whalaqee

Headwear: Altered Mythril Magnifiers (Loam Brown Dye)

Body: Appointed Jacket (Royal Blue Dye)

Hands: No. 2 Type B Gloves

Legs: Angelic Slops (General-purpose Jet Black Dye)

Feet: Appointed Shoes (Pearl White Dye)

Earrings: Wayfarer's Earcuff

Neckpiece: Wayfarer's Necklace

Bracelet: Augmented Cryptlurker's Bracelet of Casting

Rings: Augmented Cryptlurker's Ring of Casting (2x)

---

That should be everything except my crafter gears, which I'm not focusing on right now. Hope to see you in Dawntrail!

This took a while to catalogue!!

[decaflondonfog]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

i was tagged by @nv-md (ali pls why does tumblr never let me tag you what have you done) and then sort of indirectly by @fluxweeed! as always i loved reading your thoughts and i'm v grateful you thought of me. as always, this is just me talking shite for 20 answers:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

12 revealed, but I do have my @aftgthenandnow fic currently hiding so 13 technically

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

99,518 (which my heart was immediately keen on saying it's "not that much" but all these words were written in the last year 365-ish days, which makes me very very proud)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

i'm still on my fandom whoring phase and loving it very much!!! i think it's mostly AFTG but I’ve dabbled in some Simon Snow and Check, Please! recently and have some more plans for those 🥰 honestly there is a RIDICULOUS amount of fandoms in my fic planning trello board, including: Call of Duty, The Raven Cycle, Red White and Royal Blue, BBC Merlin, and Our Flag Means Death. i love living in chaos!!!!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

oh it's these guys: the benefits of a broken air conditioning unit and other summer lessons (aftg/andreil, 3k, E) geometric equilibrium (aftg/kandreil, 10k, M) kaleidoscope (aftg/fem!andreil, 5k, M) growing pains (omgcp/bittyparse, 50k, E) celly (aftg/gen, 800 words, T)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Or I try to, anyway. Why? Uhhh. Because I want to, really. I'm not one of those people who feels like they have to, especially because as a commenter I don't expect writers to ever reply. But I love chatting fandom stuff and fic — mine or otherwise, so I always treat comments as an opportunity to do so. Sometimes I think I have a super random, like... reply style, I guess you'd call it? But I'd rather engage a fellow fan in genuine conversation rather than say just "thank you," which obviously is still what I end up doing like 70% of the time.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is funny for me to think about because in former fandoms I was a bit of an Angst Guy lmao (mcd, unrequited love, cheating, miscommunication, you name it)... but I'm on a softer vibe now for sure. I think maybe a wreath of white lilies is my angstiest work but even that i wouldn't classify as angst? it's fucked up smut, if anything lmao

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhhh, I guess growing pains? It's a very hopeful, very happy ending with a lot of closure for stuff happening both within the fic and before. So yeah! I think that one. Very romcom-y neat sort of happy ending!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have in the past but not anymore! i'm not good enough nor bad enough to get hate jkfgjhd

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yeah, baby!!!! what kind...? uh. good question. i feel like i always end up writing porn with a ton of feelings — not just love/lust though! but i do love a Strong Emotion (hatred, grief, confusion, relief, obsession) to be the catalyst for fucking. I like it when characters are seriously into each other (again, not necessarily only in an attraction way), in a little insane way. it just makes things fun. so i guess... my smut is the Big Feelings kind of smut lol

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

oh i haven't... but i do have a bit of a wild one i've considered! not sure if i'd ever actually write it though, but it's planned out.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

in an earlier fandom existence, yes! it may even be around still, who knows? now... not that i know of?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't think i have! would love it though! i grew up bilingual so i have a lot of love for translation :') i'd actually love to try my hand at translating one day!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have started co-writing fics with a couple of people before, but not something super serious and either times it never got finished. buuuuut i am actually in the process of co-writing not one but two fics atm! @skeptiquewrites and i are working on a zimbits flavoured little something, and @whataboutmyfries and i are very nearly done with our kandreil get-together fic, which is really exciting.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

hate this question actually LMAO i am a multishipper at heart. a good fic can convince me of ANYTHING. like my favourite ship when i stopped writing hp was two guys who weren't ever even alive at the same time so???? anything goes truly.

for the sake of nostalgia, it might still be remus/sirius, because they were my introduction to fandom and all its joys! but that fandom is kind of tainted these days >:(

hmmmm. probably zimbits actually? they invented true love, i think.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

hahaha so many!!! i have a catholic priest Neil fic that is a very fun idea but requires a ton of lore because it's so removed from canon... the kink is juicy but the laziness might be stronger. we shall see.

16. What are your writing strengths?

descriptions, baby!!!!! details!!! i want to say characterisation but i don't think that's always true... i just love thinking very deeply about the details of characterisation.. the little seemingly unimportant tidbits you can add in about a character that just tell you a ton about them without you having to spell it all out! i find that fun, even if it doesn't always work lol

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue... i hate it... i simply do not know how people talk... i don't know why they have to either LOL top ten most mortifying moments of my life was when a pal was beta reading a fic for me and said "hey there's no dialogue in this for the first like 5k at all... maybe we should do something about that" rip

i am also very bad at ensemble casts... while the weakness above is something i can't avoid, this one is a lot more avoidable but also something i am actively working on. i feel like my fics are very closed in on my MCs and their relationship but as a reader i love when the characters have meaningful interactions outside of that... so i'm trying to get better at that, even if it's really fucking hard. i'm lucky enough to have a couple of pals who are INCREDIBLE at this so i'm taking notes all the time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

big fan!!!! i love all methods of doing this too! add it in and provide translation at the end, weave the translation into the text, make the character themselves translate it, etc. i think it's great! i think i've done it maybe a couple of times but should definitely do more...

19. First fandom you wrote for?

you already know what i'm gonna say... HP. i am of that specific generation and i'm just gonna have to live with that lol

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

hate this question hate it hate it hate itttttt do you mean favourite as in favourite final result, or favourite writing experience, or favourite prose, or favourite plot, or favourite characterisation, etc etc etc? i have a lot of love for growing pains, which i've already mentioned a couple times; and also for geometric equilibrium. for funsies, i'll say do not disturb the cats because i just love when an idea possesses me and i can't do anything else until i've written it LOL but yeah "favourite" is hard, sorry

uhhhh i've not seen this floating about a lot soooo sorry if i tag anyone who has already done it :/ but if you guys fancy doing this, i'm passing it along: @moondal514 @jaywalkers @mostlymaudlin @thetrojeans @ittyybittybaker @stabbyfoxandrew 💕 have funnnnnn

[budgetbuildsystem]

hi jasper hi im sam!! im very excited and also not meant to be fronting rn but poppy is taking a break from work so im here to chat about scotland! our system is collectively scottish (which is so funny because most of our fictives are not. fuck you scottishfies your fictives amiright (i can say that my source is from manchester but i am very much a scot)) and im so curious as to where your dialect is from? we are very much south east central which is a shite name for it but ach well, wbu? where aboots ye fae?

- sam (she/her, fully understands if you ignore this ask lmao)

So, I'm going to answer this as best as I can since I'm still honestly learning about myself to begin with.

I am the product of the hosts love fer Scotland and the fae. I believe I am loosely based off of some Scottish character from our childhood but have no personal memory of who. (No I don't think it was Merida.) And the host often loved fairies, fae, and magicks. So... now ya add all that up into a hyperfixation in an emotionally abusive household... and ya get me. The caregiver who used "magick", more just pretended for them, to protect them from them from the world.

So as for where my dialect is from... I don't know. I suppose if I could give an example, it is similar to how Merida speaks. The way I pronounce things and such. I do use words, when speaking, like shite, cannae, donnae. I don't really say aboot, it's just a bit softer than how Americans say about. I don't always type the way I speak as I generally want to make the way I type accessible unless I'm just talking to friends. So I'm not sure where my dialect would be considered. I was created from ideas and hyperfixations... sadly not based off of a person or facts so it makes it a bit hard to explain who I am.

Fae wise... well I haven't explored that part of me yet. I just know I am. It's frustrating still trying to learn who you are in a system. Like I have to put a lot of effort into unlocking chapters...

My apologies for the late response, I don't come out very often due to how Charlie has improved recently.

(And as of lately they are again questioning if they have DID or something that may be similar? They'll probably post about it.)

-💙

[fallingforel]

Arabella pt 11-for the hope of it all

words: 1,638

gif cred: @thefrontofmymind

"Matty, hey, how are you?"

"fucking shite, bug, they've got me attached to all these wires, I don't want to be here, I want to be in my bed with you"

"Matty" I sigh knowing the next thing I'm about to say isn't what he wants to hear, but it has to be said before I give him a false sense that he's going home after he's been discharged.

"what? spit it out woman" he says making me chuckle, even when he was lying in a hospital bed he was an impatient 3 year old.

"hey, you may be lying in a hospital bed, but I'm not afraid to kick your arse still." I replied before perking up again "do you know what happened Matty?"

"yeah, took a bunch of shit and blacked out"

"yes but you also, suffered from Alcohol poisioning which resulted in you having your stomach pumped, You also hit your head pretty hard, they weren't sure you were going to wake up. You overdosed too"

"shit really? did I really have to get my stomach pumped?"

"yes. why is that the only thing you pick up from that?"

"SICK! Never had to have that done to me before"

"No! Matty, it's not sick, it's bad if you were left there any longer, you could've died."

"Adams been asking about been asking about you too, said you were okay as well."

"whats up with you, why are you calling Hann by his actual name, and not his last name or Ad's like you usually do? whats gone while I was half dead. You all haven't fallen apart without me have you?"

"HEY! you were not half dead, you were merely taking an extra long sleep."

"okay sure I was taking an extra long sleep, tell me whats gone on now then"

"adam said you were dead, when we weren't sure if you were going to wake up, basically blaming you for everything, wasn't your fault you deal with pain different to us, you get high and drunk when your in so much pain"

"yeah, can't say that, what Adam said didn't hurt. Because that would be a lie."

"he still hasn't apologised by the way, it's been two weeks. Been passing everything along to G and Ross. about your state, Your going to the bahamas or bermuda, haven't decided which one your going to yet."

"what for?"

"for rehab matty, You blacked out, the doctors have been strongly suggesting rehab, more of an order than a suggestion I guess"

"nice, It'll be nice to get away from this shitty weather for a good while" He says trying to lace his voice with meaningfulness, though I know he doesn't want to go, Just hoping it makes me shut up about it. I know him through and through and I knew that he was lying through his teeth.

he sits in silence with me for a while before he scares me blurting out a "shit" from his mouth.

"what?"

"what about the album? How am I going to record if I am going to be going to the bahamas"

"don't you worry your sweet little head about that Stink. I've sorted it" Giving him a grin like the chesire cat.

"why have you got that look on your face?" He asks from his hospital bed giving me a confused taken aback look.

"what look?" I ask dumbfounded pretending I don't understand.

"the cheshire cat look Y/n, The one that tells me that you've done something stupid."

"Matty. I haven't done anything stupid perse, just something you might not approve of."

"what?"

"I'm not telling you. You'll hate me for it."

"Tell me. Couldn't hate you more than I already do for sending me to fucking rehab"

"You know it's for the best Matty."

"spit it out"

"I asked, col to take your place on the album. He sounds just enough like you that nobody would notice, he's not touring for you though."

"ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. I AM NOT HAVING THAT SCUMBAG TAKE MY FUCKING PLACE THATS MY FIRST FUCKING ALBUM YOUR TALKING ABOUT. CALL OFF THE REHAB GET ME TO THE STUDIO, RIGHT FUCKING NOW" he says raising his voice.

Col and Matty never got on. Not when me and him were together, not when we all ran in the same friendship circle. and certainly not when we broke up and I found out he cheated on me, and I ran to matty's house in tears and cried on his shoulder and slept on his sofa for a month.

-7 MONTHS EARLIER-

"oh, you have got to be fucking joking me" I say as I walked into my shared apartment in London with my boyfriend of 6 years and my bestfriend and adams girlfriend of 5 years. with his head in between her legs.

"Y/n it's not what it looks like"

"yeah, course it fucking isn't. Get a life. I'm going."

"where?"

"away from you, have a nice life. We're DONE" I say.

and before I know it I'm walking out, away from my life and from him all I have ever known while living in london, the first love I have ever known. grabbing my coat and shutting the apartment door and running through the complex out the lobby door, hailing a taxi to the now only safe haven I knew Matty's house.

"Y/n? what are you doing here?" he asks opening the door to me tears filled my eyes. "he cheated on me, with beth." "that fucker. come in, don't want you getting a cold now do we?" I shake my head no and go to sit on his sofa where I would reside for the next month before getting my life together.

-BACK TO THE PRESENT/ DEC 2012-

"Matty calm down will you, your scaring all the other patients. Just sit down, let's talk it through before you go mental and take three steps back that's not what we're trying to achieve here"

"fine." He slumps back on the pillows turning his body to face the wall away from me.

"Matty, we've gone through all the options. All the people closest to you: Ross, Adam, G, your mum, your dad, my mum and dad, jamie too. And we've all agreed it wasn't a bad idea Adam and I are fine with it. But if you disagree to it here's whats going to happen. Your probably going to miss out on releasing your album, You're going to be put on drug watch with someone at your side all times even when you piss if you decide that you want to record, everyone is going to keep an eye out for you. So it's all up to you, but those are your options. What one do you think is best?"

"I ain't going to rehab."

"yes you are Matty, we've already established this. We've picked a nice place out for you to go. It's in bermuda, you get to do equine therapy play with horses, you get to watch the sea it's all very theraputic. It'll help you out Matty trust me. It's either this or a shitty rehab centre in a shitty town in the U.K where you get no 1 to 1 care either. I've got the card and my laptop here. You can have a look at it." I say pulling my laptop out of the cubby hole next to Mattys bed and the card out of my jacket pocket.

"I ain't going."

"matty, you are. You can either go the nice way, which is you go willingly or you can go the harder way where they pull you out of here themselves and I've seen it happen more than once when i've come to visit you. Matty you need to choose, the doctors aren't letting you out of here until you've chosen the route you want to go down, which is going to be close drug watch with one of us, or all of us and rehab at the end after you've recorded or rehab and let col record. and then hard or easiest way"

"fine."

"so whats it going to be?"

"I don't know yet, let me think it through can you go get me some proper food. I don't want none of this hospital shitty crap."

"yeah, okay what do you want?"

"maccies. Double cheeseburger and coke please"

"okay, I'll go get you some. be back soon" I say before leaving his hospital room with a chaste kiss on his forehead.

the drive thru was rather short getting myself chicken nugget meal and I thought on the way back I should probably tell George what was going on seeing as he was closest to Matty after me of course.

"so whats going on"

"I don't know G, I told him I was sending him to rehab he seemed okay at first, knew it was a lie though I could tell. Then I told him about Col recording the album and he started shouting and denying going to rehab, I gave him his options he ended up saying fine. Don't know whether he's chosen going to rehab first or recording. G I'm scared."

"there's no need to be. It's matty he'll come around eventually you know he will. No need to swea-"

and G is abruptly cut off by someone else ringing me, the hospital. that can't be good

"err G I'm gonna have to go, the hospitals phoning"

"okay okay, enjoy mattys madness" He says ending the call allowing me to pick up the hospitals phone call.

"hello?" I say

"hello. Is this Y/N L/N."

"It is how can I help."

"it's matty."

"what about him?"

"he's disappeared"

"okay. I'm coming I'll be there soon." I say ending the phone before screaming

"FOR FUCKS SAKE"

[soranihimawari]

Diamond Dogs

A regular story about an expensive bottle of sake and why world famous model, Miya Osamu, chooses “diamond” as your nickname.

Pairing: photographer!reader x model!au

Warnings: nsfw// mentions of random hookups// sexual awakenings talks & fantasies//

Notes: both leads are 20-somethings…this is a flashback story

Rating: MOF (miya osamu fluff)// nsfw

Part 1

“Osamu!”

You’re nineteen years old when you travel on your first company cruise. The cruise was to celebrate the magazine’s twenty-fifth year of publication, hence why you were welcomed aboard and there are models, drugs, champagne, all parts essential to an industry party. You’re just rubbing elbows, saying hi to familiar few faces, some tease you about pulling that amazing fierce shot at Cannes of two Hollywood actors in their sharpest Armani suits imported no less.

With all that white noise, you see an old friend. How old? You don’t remember much from your time in Hyogo because for both of you, it seemed a lifetime ago. Perhaps before he was a world famous model with his iconic twin, he was the silver haired mischievous fox of the school. Miya Osamu was a royal you couldn’t touch let alone even dream about in a romantic light unless you were popular and had your wits about you. That being said, he did find you once in a corner of the school, ridiculed for your, “shite shots of out of focus flowers” and “crappy angles because you cut the volleyball team out of a wonderful cloud scene,” and somehow you stood there unfazed by it. The scene of you having the camera you had exposed to the light and you sniffling saying your midterm reel was lost sort of made him snap. Vulgar words were said and you, pick up the camera, the photos with the muddy foot prints because it rained that afternoon, half smiled at him saying, “you’re not so bad afterall,” which meant you tried to thank him.

“It’s ok to cry ya know,” Osamu offers you a kerchief he used to wrap his bento. “‘S just us in this stairwell, uh…”

“Been in the same homeroom since last year middle school and you don’t know my name? That’s a bummer,” you sniffle. “You may be pretty like a diamond, but sometimes you’ve got to be built like one… metaphorically. Thanks for the kerchief. I really should get to my cram school session.”

You hand him back the kerchief and you walk tall.

So that wasn’t just a memory that played whenever you saw him thereafter. You remember him sending his twin to find out your likes and dislikes and when Atsumu would say he found nothing, Osamu was so irate. Until you needed help with Modern English Granmer—your teacher paired you together because Osamu was in need for extra credit and tutoring was one of the viable ways to keep him both on the volleyball team’s good graces and away from his women fanclub.

Years pass, uncanny friendship aside, Osamu is aboard this ship. Why? Because Atsumu is so, so close to figuring out how long his brother has been in love with you. Even if Atsumu grew to love you more, the ash blonde was miles away ‘screwing’ some new plus one the tabloids would eat up. You think it’s a funny ploy, however whenever the boys’ dating live came up, it left up with a sour taste.

Regardless, your friend calls Osamu over, not being fully read into your past with one half of Cartier models duo, and much to your surprise he sauntered over.

“You grew up quite nicely, filled out, I mean,” he greets your friend making some suggestive hand signs.

Your friend laughs before pulling the, “have you met my friend, yn? Turns out they know about Hyogo too…”

You sip your champagne nonchalantly as a catering waiter walks by with a trail of desserts. Your friend could see Osamu watch you curious… with enough time, you return to the conversation they were having. Time passes a little after that when you bow politely and excuse yourself when you’re about to relieve yourself and redo your hair. You must have muttered it because Osamu is sneaky with his free hand and holds yours, whispering, “ya look fine. It’s been a while.”

One of three things happen after cocktail hour: first, the boat docks in the harbour. Second, you remember now that you’re not in Tokyo for this trip, you’re in Singapore. Third, you don’t have to decline Osamu’s invitation to show you around the city, but he does when you seem a bit hesitant. You wear medical masks and sunglasses blaming it on the brightness of the city lights making references to several CyberPunk films.

Miya Osamu’s many things, but charging was a forgotten quality even now as you eat Singapore style Mai Fan. He laughs easily with you, you smile a bit.

“That’s a first,” he says dreamily while you raise your glass to your lips and drink the warm liquor inside.

“What is?”

“Your smile.”

The smile disappears off your face as you retrace your steps with him in your mind. Quietly you lean in and reminded him he made you laugh uncontrollably in the library as teenagers.

“But this is the first time I’ve seen it come so effortless,” he replies, his hand frozen in the air almost touching your face. “May I?”

“Not here,” you stand and leave some notes behind.

Osamu follows you shortly thereafter into an abandoned alleyway by the swank hotel everyone on the yacht was staying at. He kabedons you this time, and when your brain catches up to your heart, you’re already in the midst of gripping his collar in an air tight exchange via mouth to mouth. He knocks the wind out of you pushing you higher against the walls, like he has always envisioned in his imagination. Your body responds for you, hooking your legs around him when his lips leave yours to kiss and bruise your neck.

“Ahh… ‘Samu,” you’re trying to focus a little , but you remember how relentless the Miya twins are. They got what they wanted, always have and will…

And tonight? Miya Osamu wants you.

Luckily enough after the teasing game his hands played with your parts below the belt, you make sure you’re not followed by any lingering cameras when you enter his room and he suddenly reflects on the one time he called you Diamond. It’s not important now as he has proof of what his presence can do to you all over his fingertips. Your outfit not ruined by his manhandling just yet until he has the fabric having so low off your body in his room.

“Vintage loan, careful with that,” you say when he slips off the remaining parts of the outfit.

“Take these off for me, yeah?”

Osamu sits on his haunches as you attempt to take his buttons off, he notices your hands shake.

“Nervous?”

Three buttons, more down the seam to go…

“It’s been a long time since we’ve done anything this risqué,” you say. “You taught me how to kiss, what foreplay was, what sex can be and actually is…”

“You make me sound like Atsumu.”

“But I’m with the better Miya.”

He chuckles when you kiss him sliding his shirt off of his shoulders.

“Let me have you,” his voice is low and ignites your skin on your neck. “Please. You have no idea how much I’ve been needing this. Needing you.”

“Where were you, huh?” your voice is sinister as it drives him madly faster to undo his pants, he slides your garments to the side and manhandles your hips higher so he can tease you below your own waist too.

“Too busy trying to find a decent fuck in this town and your friend called me over,” he kisses your thigh before easing himself into you.

You hiss and whine, saying to give yourself some time to breathe and within the next breath a few curses on either side of this sexual encounter has Osamu buried to the hilt, your body ignited a primal spark in his soul and he unleashes every ounce of formidable restraint since you reintroduced yourself to him. This was how it ought to be, he thinks selfishly. You’re right where I need you, his subconscious drinks your panting and glistening body in, he lets you curl into him when he kisses your shoulders; the bed moves with the force of his and your combined movements.

“Ngh~s’good,” your nails dig into the back of his tensing shoulders. Both boys had different tells, you’d know this since you’ve watched them do exclusively nearly nude shots for other designer brands. Atsumu’s was slurred words once he did decide to eat his date for dinner, or so you heard at the model agency lending out their most experienced ladies for a California-coast inspired swim line; Osamu’s is the tensing of his beautifully sculpted back, one you saw by accident when he was in a quick change.

Either way, with either twin, you knew you’d experience pure unadulterated bliss. And so with Osamu, muttering how he’d never outgrow the greed of your sexual escapades (with him)—he commands your body’s inhibitions to create an artistic mess of young love in this hotel. He does fuck you like a dog should, lest he forgets how much of a lustful demon you can be in bed, snarling his name after your first two highs—you turn him over like an alligator and while you ride his cock, his eyes roll to the back of his head as do yours and he cums… your translucent juices stick to his lower abdomen as even his seed slips down your inner thighs. Osamu’s hands keep your hips steady at the angle he yearned for. Your hands find their way to his throat and with a gentle, yet firm squeeze, you choke him and he laughs smiles.

“Again baby,” he’s amused when his canines smirks at you.

The bed creaks when you bend down to whisper in his ear, “Beware the diamond dogs are fucked…”

And your lips curl into a smile as you lick a stripe between his neck and ear, ending with a nibbling bite and Osamu moans into the darkness of the night.

[9leaguesofmirrors]

The Favour (a Ross Gaines x Joseph Lisgoe fanfic)

What if Pauline refused to help Ross in season 3 episode 1 and she left before that very scarring scene ever happened? In this version, he decides to call in the help of an old acquaintance

This one is a little more ✨spicy✨ than my other fics, but it's just fade-to-black, I'm not quite brave enough to write actual smut

I love how well these GIFs go together, like Ross just made a smug comment and Lisgoe's sick of his crap 😆

**********************************************

"I've come here on my fucking time off, so this better be important."

Ross couldn't remember when he started being on speaking terms with Joseph Nigel Lisgoe, but it happened. They weren't friends, but they also weren't exactly enemies. Well, Ross thought Lisgoe was a sadistic cretin who used violence to make up for his lack of brain cells, and Lisgoe thought Ross was an arrogant bastard with no concernable personality. Other than that, they didn't hate each other

Hence why Ross didn't see an issue with enlisting his help. Since he didn't have his number, he had to track down and slip a note under his office door that read I need your help, we'll discuss at my house followed by his address

Which is how he got here, face-to-face with a very unhappy Lisgoe at his front door

"Make yourself at home."

Ignoring this statement (which he could tell was merely being said out of politeness), Lisgoe all but barged past and leaned against a counter in the kitchen

"Your house reminds me of you: dead on the inside."

"I didn't invite you here to insult me."

"Couldn't you at least have gotten dressed? You look like a right twat in that dressing gown."

"I think," Ross said as he went to the cupboard and poured them both a glass of wine "that we should focus on the real reason I asked you here."

Lisgoe curled his upper lip slightly, as if he would rather have been anywhere else at this point, but took the glass anyway. He took a sip, watching Ross closely

"You gonna tell me or am I supposed to guess?"

"Someone I hired for an undercover job has decided to go against me."

"Fucking hell, OK James Bond!"

This was met with a glare, not that Lisgoe seemed to be all that bothered. In fact, he has a shit-eating grin on his face that suggested he found this whole thing funny

"I don't know why you're laughing."

"You're so far up your own arse, no wonder you talk a load of shite!"

"I'm going to ignore that. All I'm asking is for you to get rid of her, I'm sure that won't be too taxing on you, what with the very little brain power you possess."

"I'm not a contract killer." Lisgoe put his glass down on the counter "I may be a crazy bastard, but I'm not some assassin."

"You're the only one with enough of a craving for violence and lack of empathy to do it."

There was a pause. Lisgoe took another swig of wine

He'd never admit it out loud, but it was refreshing to have someone challenge him. As much as he liked being the one everyone feared, there was something about Ross' lack of fear that both frustrated him and kept him oddly entertained

"What's in it for me?"

Ross considered his answer, but his thoughts were somewhat hazy, clearly more interested in why Lisgoe was staring at him. He was completely unreadable, which was off-putting to say the least. And yet it, for some reason, made him feel more drawn to him. He wanted to know what it would take to make him snap - what he would do when he did

"Who says you're getting anything?"

"I'm not doing this shite for free." Lisgoe sneered, taking a step towards him "It comes with a price."

They weren't incredibly close, but it was enough for Ross to briefly catch his scent. Sharp, spicy cologne which seemed to fuse with the underlying leftovers of cigarette smoke. It wouldn't be much of a surprise if he'd smoked before he came here; he could see it now, Joseph Lisgoe outside the door with a cigarette in his mouth... sucking it gently... his eyes closing as the smoke fell from his lips

Ross put an end to that thought immediately

"I could tip off the police to the rumours going around Royston Vasey about your violent tendancies, I'd say guess how many years you'd get," he put a hand on Lisgoe's shoulder and looked at him with pure mockery in his eyes "but I'd hate for you to hurt your head."

"You'd tell the police, would you?" Lisgoe retorted in a soft voice that made it sound more like a dare than a question

"What if I did?"

Despite not being the most intellectual of people, Lisgoe could read emotions on their faces and bodies easily. It's what he used to get under people's skin before he inevitably threw a punch. There was a stillness in Ross' body language that told him he was telling the truth - he respected that, in a way. Another thing he caught onto was Ross' eyes. They seemed to drag their way up and down his frame, meeting his eyes with a subtle, sharp intake of breath. He was being looked at in a way that was rare for him, yet something in him was very satisfied that it was directed to him alone

But there was something else. Something of a spark in his eyes, something that said I'm onto you

He wasn't about to give him the upper hand

"I don't ask for much." His voice was softer, slightly rough "But, if you need me as badly as you clearly fucking do, then you'll have to convince me."

"That depends on two factors: what you want, and how you want me to convince you?" Ross chewed his lower lip, an action that caused Lisgoe's jaw to tighten

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Satisfied with the edge he'd taken from him, Ross put down his glass. As he did, he made sure to let his hand brush against Lisgoe's, relishing in the way he jolted away

"There's a grand history of people who, daggers drawn, eventually find each other attractive." He said innocently, tilting his head to the side slightly as he stared into dusty blue eyes "What do you think, Joseph?"

Nobody called him Joseph

It's was Lisgoe or, if you worked for him, Mr. Lisgoe. A silent agreement among the inhabitants of Royston Vasey. He didn't know what was worse: the fact Ross had the balls to break that rule, or the fact it sounded so nice in his voice

"I think you need to remember who you're talking to. You might get away with saying what you like to the thick pigs at the dole house, but I'm not that easily fucked with."

The venom in Lisgoe's voice shouldn't have affected Ross the way it did. He wasn't scared, but it pierced through his chest and pumped molten fire through his body

"I assume," He put his hand deliberately over the man's wrist, his voice steady "you know what you want in return for all of this?"

Lisgoe took a step forward and stared. It was like he was considering not the offer, but him. Finally, he spoke again:

"Anywhere between 10,000 and 20,000 is great."

"Excuse me?" Was Ross' response, trying not to look too disappointed as Lisgoe pulled away "You expect me to pay you that amount for one simple task?"

"You're not asking me to have a little chat, are you? You want me to get rid of a bitch, and the fact you contacted me means you want it to hurt."

"You're hardly worth the oxygen I breathe, let alone £10-20,000."

"You've got a set of balls, haven't you?"

"I want you to leave."

"Now hold your fucking horses, I'm not done!"

He moved over to the address book on the table and opened it, slightly surprised by how empty it was. Surely this guy knew more people than WORK and MOTHER

"So, is your dad an asshole? Or is he dead?"

"What are you doing?" Ross asked, clearly not appreciating the question

"You got a pen?"

"Don't pretend you can write."

"Fuck off and get me a pen! Wait, shut up..."

"I didn't say-"

"Here's one."

Lisgoe had taken a pen from inside his suit jacket and scrawled something onto the page. Upon inspection, Ross noticed it was a phone number with the initials JNL next to it

"As a debt collector, I never like doing favours without getting something in return."

"And what exactly do you have in mind? If it's more money, I'm out."

"You doing anything tonight?"

Of all the things he expected to hear, that wasn't one of them. Regardless, he shook his head neutrally

"I'll be back in an hour." Lisgoe put the pen down on the table "For the love of shite, get dressed."

"What's the occasion?" Ross sneered in response

"The occasion is, when I get back, I'm doing whatever the fuck I want with you."

Ross' chest caved in. He couldn't think of the worse reason: actual fear or... OK, maybe the second option. Either way, he was trying not to show it on his face

"What exactly are you implying?"

That made Lisgoe laugh a little. Ross went to question him, but was quickly silenced by being tugged by his dressing gown into a searing kiss. It was forceful, not that it came as a surprise - this was Lisgoe, after all. And Ross certainly wasn't complaining. Especially not when his lower lip was being pulled between Lisgoe's teeth

"Unless you have another stupid question, I'll see you later today"

Before he could turn and go, Ross had grabbed him by the wrist

"You said earlier that a debt collector always gets something in return, would you also say they'd rather get it in a timely manner?"

"I don't remember what I said, but sure. What's your point?"

"There's clearly something between us. A certain... heat-"

"Alright, Ozzy Wilde."

"Oscar Wilde, but that's beside the point. What I'm saying is what's the point in waiting for it to cool down?" In a moment of boldness, Ross reached for Lisgoe's jacket. Without breaking eye contact for more than a second, he unbuttoned it slowly "Unless you're too scared to-"

Once again, his words were cut short and Lisgoe's mouth was on his. It was frantic and raw, neither one of them was interested in being gentle. Ross' hands were warm, Lisgoe's skin was cold, which came together to form what could only be described as electricity. Without breaking the kiss, Lisgoe was being pushed against the kitchen counter and, well, Ross was dropping to his knees to return a favour

*********************************************

"So, what's the bitch's name again?" Lisgoe asked as he threaded his belt through the loops of his trousers

"Pauline Campbell-Jones," Ross sat down on his sofa "she's completely egregious. She's violent, foul-tempered and vulgar."

"Right, I suppose you only find those traits sexy in men."

"Let's make this clear, I only did that to pay you back."

Lisgoe didn't know why he got the urge to ask, but he sat down beside Ross and looked at him with slightly furrowed brows

"Do you fuck everyone that you ask to favours?"

"No."

"So I'm a special case?"

Ross looked Lisgoe up and down contemplatively, then replied "Yes."

"Can you say anything else? One-word responses piss me off."

There was another silence. Ross stared at the wall, thinking things through. OK yes, maybe part of the reason was to get Lisgoe on board with his plan, but did he enjoy it? Maybe he did. So what? Since when did sex mean anything? That being said, even with all that aside, Lisgoe wasn't completely insufferable to be around. In fact, he was one of the few inhabitants of Royston Vasey that he could see as being something of an equal to him

"We don't have to be strangers, I suppose. You did give me your number for some reason."

"Ignore it then," Lisgoe shrugged as he got up "I just gave it to you so I could tell when I was done with her."

Then there was an odd moment of pause

Ross stood up and they were facing each other. It was awkward and tense, but not altogether unpleasant. Just strange. Almost as if neither of them were in a rush for it to be over

Suddenly, Lisgoe snapped out of it and headed for the front door. Ross went to let him out. It was all very formulaic, as if nothing happened between them. And surely, that's all it was

Nothing at all

Once he'd gone, Ross went back into the kitchen area and looked at the number written into his book. Then he saw it

Lisgoe had left his pen behind

If he hurried, he could probably catch up and give it to him. Or he could wait for him to realise and come back for it

Ah well, what's the rush?