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#which isn’t true. i could.
cheridraws · 4 months
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see I often get conflicted because yes, I do want to watch things that will ultimately help myself, especially with an issue I have that I’m highly aware of. But also that fear of having the issue fixed is always there, and the issue is so convenient that I don’t wanna get rid of it, so,,,,, augh
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keferon · 1 month
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*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*
Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.
You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah
I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender
…..I made the moodboard….
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#chapter 37#of 120 or something#I must be like 90k words in haha#large word count is not an intimidation. It’s an invitation haha#I love the fics that I can’t read in just one hour:)#I gotta say I don’t enjoy the concept of making robots into organic life#it’s just my preference#seeing them as humans or animals or whatever feels so fucking wrong#the concept itself drives me off#like. Strongly#But at the same time. This fic isn’t about them being ‘haha cute organics’#it’s ‘oh god. I was turned into something I’m not’#instead of teeheee they’re fluffy#it’s please free me from this fucking nightmare. please let me be myself again.#idk how to explain. I resonate I guess#it often feels very disturbing but the characters are also disturbed#So now I’m kind of stuck reading this fic because I just can’t stop lol#just politely skipping the parts that make me too uncomfortable#also#the body horror is….damn. Impressive. I didn’t expect to read about grotesque fleshy creature turning itself inside out#it’s not even aesthetic or symbolic#it literally looks like a fucking nightmare. Which is impressive also.#the flesh is g r o s s#the beginning got me struggling and skipping#but the intermission is currently ruining my sleep schedule#oh fuck….I usually send my posts to the authors of the fics I read…..but I feel like I might offend the author of Ninth if do this……..#there’s a tiny chance they’re following me….if it’s true then I wanna tell I’m sorry pls don’t take this seriously#your fic got me waay out of my comfort zone#huge points for writing Ratchet. Drift in this fic is…the grossest fucking thing I could probably imagine but Ratchet doesn’t even hesitate#he helps him and he cares for him. Which is…..imma be real my first instinct would be to set Drift on fire to end his misery
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ohitslen · 1 year
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Something other about his eyes
Bonus! Based on this quick thing I did this afternoon and the idea took a bit more shape and turned into that thing from above uEK
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#not too much effort on the colors with this one#o would’ve left it just with lineart but at the end I thought it would look nicer with some rough shadows#shadowing. you know what I meant.#his plant markings being extremely faint on his eyes when they aren’t glowing is very true to me also#I think itd be awesome if Vash’s eyes would just look like that when he isn’t masking#or they could be a bit more lax but still look like they are staring far far away into the void#or into your souls if you so happen to make eye contact with him. like woowoo over here#he is probably listening for one of his sisters who is not so close to him. maybe even Kni? who knows it’s up to interpretation#Vash’s hair can be such a nightmare also. I do not think of physics when drawing him whatsoever#I give him the Mickey Mouse ears treatment sometimes and some other I actually respect the fact that his hair will always be swept#to the right. if you haven’t noticed that yet. I think it’s way more noticeable on the 2d art#which is a nice touch! considering that’s the direction I’m which his haircut was when they were kids. isn’t that fun#anyways weird Vash for me once again and I’ll share a little with you. ah I’ll get to the requests later btw!#trigun#vash the stampede#trigun stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#vashwood#trigun fanart#vash#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#lenssi draws#vash saverem#ah extra note. this is meant to be pre plant revelation. I think Vash would already know about what WW is there for since very early on#but about the plant thing he was still a little doubtful since he wouldn’t think Kni would disclose that information so easily.#so seeing that Nick has a very keen eye and is very observant kind of ticks him off even though he is just the same. so maybe that’s why#it ticks him in the first place. headcanons everywhere in this household
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sevenines · 7 days
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i saw this tweet and found it interesting for two reasons. one is that some people base how good cartoon network would be to toh by how it treated su, and despite the fact that su’s treatment by the network was considered poor at the time, now its thought to be exceptionally good in comparison to modern shows.
two is how exactly su got impacted by a limited budget. a common criticism is how characters like connie, peridot, and lapis are left out of missions. but balancing a lot of characters is not only hard but also costly (extra animation, extra voices—it’s been revealed that the show is limited to a set number of characters per episode otherwise they’re over budget). animation mistakes are not uncommon since retakes cost extra. the entire reason the original show got cut short was due to loss of funding!
#i don’t know if pay rates differ per networks#but a.ivi and s.urrashu have said that they needed to work outside of su in order to make sufficient funds#it only makes me wonder what other ways su suffered from a lower budget#that we as the audience never got to see#in the vein of the too-little characters complaint#another part of that is that low-stakes episodes should’ve been abt the main cast instead of the townies#like last one out of beach city and too short to ride vs restaurant wars and kiki’s pizza delivery service#i definitely see that especially since that isn’t budget related#nor would it seem to be network related (even if cn had an ‘episodic episodes’ quota it could still be abt the gems#(another side note: /would/ cn even have a requirement that the show make episodes that can be watched standalone?#this is a question for the people who were around when su was airing#what episodes often got rerun?#was it the townie eps or the lore eps?#for example i heard that su once did a ‘peridot event’ where they just reran peridot episodes#which had eps that skip around in the show#did they even care about airing the story so that it made sense anyways?#id get it if the low stakes townie episodes were the ones getting rerun))#but i have such a boring view on that which is i think it’s simply because the creators like townie eps#like in interviews r.ebecca s.ugar has said she’s the type to be really invested in background characters#answers in interviews have been crafted in ways to hide what’s really going on though tbf#prime example of this is rebecca and ian saying the wedding being interrupted was meant to follow the common trope#when later in the art book they said that it was bc cn rejected the ep bc it ‘wasn’t interesting enough’#both could simultaneously be true! it’s a psychology thing though where people make up nice-sounding explanations behind what they create#in retrospect because they want it to be thought out in such a nice way they believe in it#the bigger problem is that not matter how many episodes there are of them#it can be hard for ppl to be invested in the townies the same way they are invested in the main cast#i’m sure that a million writers have made surefire advice on how to get an audience to care about characters#but off the top of my head i think it’s because 1. most don’t have strong motivations to get truly invested in#(exception is ronaldo but people find him too annoying to care about him)#okay i had more points and explanations but i hit the tag limit and idk if anyone is actually reading this so bye
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janamensch · 6 months
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Aerois did not have enough Spellclash and Sky jousting, so I need Altheya to make up for that with lots of knights and tournaments. Therefore I present to you Altheya knight AU!
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 3 months
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All I’m going to say I think now that my brain remembered part of what it was thinking is that Taylor and Joe went through a lot together (good and bad) and regardless of how it ended or what led to it they both seem to be determined to keep that private and not throw each other under the bus and in the end they’re just two very, very different people whose outlooks in the long term were just never going to align and never has that been clearer.
#I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM JUST TO BE CLEAR#I’m just saying… he said a lot of nothing in those quotes beyond ‘people on the internet suck’#which is true#and both he and Taylor are keeping things close to the vest about it all#and just seems to me that whatever they went through together they are determined to keep it between them so that’s the end of that#(again in contrast to how she has no qualms about reading m for filth)#he’s just some guy and now he gets to be just some guy forever#and she gets to be extraordinary#like yes the loving committed thing raises eyebrows given how much pain she was in#but like he could have shaded her about how it ended too and he didn’t#AND I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM#we know he was a terrible partner and she felt like shit#I’m just saying neither of them want to delve into the specifics and i think they’re just moving into footnotes in each other’s lives now#like i want to make it clear AGAIN I am not condoning anything on his part here — clearly there were huge issues#I’m just saying just because he may have sucked as a partner doesn’t mean the internet being cruel isn’t also true idk#and yes it’s transparent why he’s choosing to speak out now (or rather why the Sunday times is choosing to reach out to him now)#but like… idk i just can’t muster up any feeling about this man one way or the other lol#and take cues from Taylor (and even him) she’s determined to keep it between them other than the broad strokes#so I’m following her/their lead#(like I have thoughts about why but that’s not important and ultimately is just… it’s the most normal of ltr breakups)#like he just sounds a little pretentious with his ‘real life’ which like… good on him keep living that real life you do you dude#meanwhile his ex is flourishing with every passing week and milestone and is living her unabashed best life#and they’re probably both happier for it now
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kacievvbbbb · 23 days
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Truly from the depths of my struggling heart. Viva La Vida by Coldplay belongs to one Toshinori Yagi aka the one and only All Might.
Coldplay should just sign over the rights of the song at this point promptly too.
#the song just works on so many levels#cause yeah there’s the grander theme off glory days gone past#but there’s another layer of was; I really effective or good if the minute I left everything that I had built crumbled around me#because Toshinori was the symbol of peace but any peace that can’t survive without one man isn’t true peace at all#it’s a stalemate#hero society#should never have been so easy to collapse without all might#and honestly even though it was never really fully explored that was always a layer of the story I enjoyed#the ways in which a complete dominance in a field especially one as important as heroing can hurt just as much as it can help.#because if yagi had actually let people stand beside him if he hadn’t helped to create a space where other heroes could grow complacent#because all night was there. hero society would never have collapsed so easily without him.#it’s touched on but not a lot not dope if icalry about all nights dominance#it’s why I feel like if you watched the show and your geniune conclusion was that Deku should have become the new symbol of peace#then I just think we didn’t watch the same show#And don't get me wrong I'm not saying that yagi was wrong for saving people or using his powers to the max but it was touched on repeatedly#this kind of deep fear/belief that he had. That only he could save these people and if something happened to them it was on him.#Like every case could only be solved by him and it wasnt a pride thing if anything it was a trauma response same with Izuku#the tags for this got so long i swear i don't mean to do this😭#the symbolism#symbol of peace#all might#yagi toshinori#mha toshinori#mha#bnha#boku no hero acedamia#my hero acedamia#mha analysis#music#coldplay
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hanzajesthanza · 4 months
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when sapkowski is all “i don’t believe in absolute evil” like he didn’t write like vilgefortz and leo bonhart and birkart grellenort likeeee okkkk but those guys were preeeetty evil though
#likeeee it kind of seems to me that… they got pretty close. to absolute evil. you know#like uhhh… nilfgaardian invasion detailed in baptism of fire anyone#though ok ok his point was that there is no absolute evil as in being motivated by evil itself#that evil always has its own motivations and those motivations can be evil but it’s not evil for the sake of being evil#HOWEVER that being said i feel like bonhart really was just evil for the sake of being evil#you could say for the sake of sadism or for greed (him being the anti-geralt lol and actually being a stereotyped idea of witcher ngl)#buuuut i feel like sadism and greed are just niche evils themselves#with vilgefortz and the wallcreeper and also emhyr (didnt mention his ass at first but throw him in too) they’re more just power hungry#and wanting revenge on those that wronged them (interesting because isn’t this also what our protags want—minus the power)#anyways reviewing these interviews again has me 😂😳😌 but also 🤨#sometimes i feel like (with this discussion on evil) the economics background really shines through LMAO#like well sometimes i feel like there really is evil that is evil evil. sometimes people are just hateful and targeting with their hate#and you know this yourself bc you wrote it wtf#like you’re not gonna call the human peasants who slaughtered the dwarves and elves in rivia evil? i would call that absolute evil#maybe not their entire lives but in that instance true evil manifested#i feel like the definition of evil im getting at is hate and bloodthirst#which yeah sometimes that exists for no reason whatsoever#i mean it can be based out of economic ‘reasoning’ (manipulated into propaganda) to scapegoat a population and target of hate#but it quickly excels past any reason whatsoever. yeahh i dont think evil always has a motivation outside of evil. disagree#the elbow-high diaries#also ​there’s more context here i’m leaving out bc its just too much to talk about in the tags of this post
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petrichormore · 1 year
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(Another ramble incoming - this one I’ve been sitting on for a bit. But it’s about Bebou & the French. And the jail incident. And also bla bla bla this is about the characters)
I might be wrong but I really think that if some of the french agree with q!bbh about the government being bad/anarchy being good thing… it’s not because Bad managed to convince them that q!forever is some horrible dictator with his wily demon cunning and manipulative silvertongue or something. it’s because. they just. agree with his views and sympathize with him. Like they just sometimes think Bad has a point, is the thing. Now I know Bad likes to spread misinformation but he rarely does it in a way that can really be taken seriously, or have any big effect (with a few… exceptions).
Bad likes to jokingly blame Forever for like anything and everything but if anyone actually presses him about it (I’m pretty sure pierre, antoine, and etoiles all have to varying degrees) he’s pretty quick to emphasize that he trusts Forever’s judgment and moral compass.
Or he used to. Until he got pushed into a cage trap. It’s clear he lost a significant amount of trust in Forever and everyone else who was involved with that. And he suspected Forever (or Cellbit) of framing him, but I’d say that’s relatively reasonable considering, from his perspective, they jumped to a conclusion with no proof. He doesn’t understand why they wouldn’t hear him out, so he’s looking for a reason. And he’s telling other people not because he’s trying to spread misinfo but because that’s just what he believes and usually, he’s telling people because they’re asking him.
Anyway, Pierre didn’t really steal the waystones because he automatically believed everything Bad said about Forever being a dictator immediately and with no hesitation. If he accepted or encouraged what Bad said, it’s because he probably already agreed to some extent. Pierre, Antoine, Etoiles - they’re smarter than blindly accepting the truth from badboyhalo the Chronic Gossiper. And at least 2/3rds of them are also convinced that Bad and Forever are dating - so they’re not taking what Bad says about Forever that seriously.
If you ask me: Pierre did it because he was probably already more politically aligned with Bad’s anarchist ideals than he ever was with Forever’s and, most importantly, because he witnessed Bad get jailed unfairly with his OWN. TWO. EYEBALLS. LIKE HE SAW THAT. HE WAS THERE.
How did he know Bad was framed? He TALKED TO HIM. He went to his base and had a conversation with him and of the two (count it with me - TWO) people that actually heard Bad out that day (Foolish and Pierre) both of them came out of the conversation believing he wasn’t the culprit. Wouldn’t you know it - communication solved that conflict pretty fast, but Bad didn’t get a chance to communicate to Forever or anyone else because they almost immediately dogpiled him. And Pierre saw that happen.
And I’m pretty sure he also saw Forever hold a vote and then accept that Bad was guilty of a crime. A crime. That isn’t illegal. That he didn’t even do in the first place.
So. I’m sure you can see why Pierre might feel the urge to defend Bad - maybe even from Forever specifically, and of his own volition. Although I can’t say stealing all the waystones and rearranging them into a pentagram above Forever’s house was a particularly reliable method of doing so, nor can I say Bad really needed the protection - Forever had no malicious intent and was fully trying to be fair. (can you tell im a q!forever apologist? because if you can’t: he did nothing wrong. Maybe one day I will make a giant post about how much of a q!forever apologist i am).
Am I making sense. At all. It’s 2am. And I’m getting the sensation that I’m missing something with this one but I’m too tired to correct it so I’ll look at it later.
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arcsin27 · 9 months
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So I was browsing the wikipedia list of lgbt video game characters as one does and
Ladies and gentlemen
We got em
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theinconveniencing · 4 months
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rumor has it the reason my parents split is because I wore this shirt :)
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twinksintrees · 2 months
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what if i never get to live the life i want
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candycryptids · 4 months
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Hiya! I hope you're doing well today! I love your characters and how you've structered their bios! Since Chuusday is listed first, is she technically your official WOL or is it someone else? Do you canonically have a WOL in the first place?
Also, I find it SO sweet that you and one of your partners both play FFXIV and have characters paired together ;w; Did you meet ingame or long before either of you started playing? Either way I wish you both the best!!! <3 - gardenofballads 🌻
Awaaaah! Im doing pretty ok!!! Taking time to answer this as a wind down from Emerald Weapon Ex Brain Soupage. And I’m so glad! ;W; I think I butchered one of those “Get To Know An OC” thingies- uhh… oh [this one] actually! I chopped a lot out and I think added a couple different thingums instead because there was so much to that that it felt overwhelming to try to look at let alone fill out LOL but it was a really good jumping off point uvu;
And!!! Hilariously Chuu was my First XIV Character, so she’s dear to my heart for being the first one- but she very quickly made it known being the WOL even as an AU was something of a Joke (Her character showed great reluctance and even frustration at having to do So Much World Saving, maybe a side-effect of me rushing through MSQ to catch up with my other spouse [Who plays Talia, though they’ve got less time for XIV these days ;0;] and the rest of my friends who were all EndGame already at the time in Shadowbringers fhdjfjsjfs.) So I made…… many alts. Throwing spaghetti at the wall but I have SEVERE side-character/NPC brain and kept making “supporting cast” types =w=; it actually took me like. 3? Alts before making an ACTUAL WoL with my husband (Ishi’li and Kizuna) (as of Right Meow, they’re in post ARR, but we’ve been working on Keathan and Tuesday together because Keathan was… Keathan’s first character in xiv XD so we’ve been jaunting through the story together and experiencing every inch of it so we can pick and choose what The Boys™ get up to when we wanna focus on them x3)
🥰 I knew both speece during at least high school- but I actually knew Keathan as early as Elementary school hehe 😌 tho the speece didn’t proper marry until… i’unno, 2017? (For frustrating legal reasons, I’m not legally married, but. As it goes. Someday we’ll have money to visit the one state that has legal poly marriages. Also I struggle to remember our wedding year 🫢)
Since managing to make a Co-WoL with my husband I’ve managed to make one other Alt meant to be a Solo-WoL (Mochiie) but I have to really wrinkle my brain to sink time into playing him, since I’m trying to take screenshots throughout the story at what I find to be inspiring beats xD And even still he has an alt-universe where he’s just a side-character for the ‘Main Timeline’ (where there’s a bunch of spaghetti and like 8+ confirmed WoL’s and the Msq entourage looks HILARIOUS in canon, someday I’ll get all the data together and take pictures, but I think it’ll cook what’s left of my brain x’3) [it’s less concrete than anything I’ve posted about before or I’d try to explain it ;v;’ it’s just interesting mostly to see how the story gets stretched to fit around a larger community of heroes than a solo guy shouldering the whole burden lmfao.]
🌸🌸🌸…. I also hope you’re having a lovely week @gardenofballads !!!! I am tossing flower petals into the air around you !!! Thank you for the ask and well wishes n kind words 🥺💖 🌸🌸🌸
#ask game#day-2-day#I have serious Alt Disease as well which doesn’t help much XD#tho I try to justify it by making them a variety of races/genders/classes so I’m not just making 15 similar guys in different color palettes#like some kinda smash game…. LMFAO.#it helps some tho cos they get to flesh out and add meat color and history to The Boys+Co’s adventures/histories/stories uvu like Lev….)#Solkmyna and Swydghem who are true NPC alts of mine are even slotted into post ShB…#🫢 but they’re mostly just fun for me to occasionally chew on like a squeaky toy#tangy is schroedingers WoL. both is and Isn’t. could be The WoL if the au called for it but also works perfectly as just a Scion instead#…. wordy tags… my bad… ANYWAYS FR HOPE YOUR DAY/NIGHT IS NICE AND PLEASANT#I gotta stare blankly at the ceiling now while trying to retain mechanics but not pressed against the display glass of my brain#🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💖‼️#spawn speece#also yes there is something deeply strange wired in my brain where I link to sources but not super consistently like some kinda bad wiki pag#if I had stuff for Keathan + Kizuna to link to tbh I’d link to it here too LOL.#when I get ahold of Talia and Setsuna I’ll probably make little reference posts- not really Bio’s cos they’re not my blorbs#they’re my partners blorbs; but it might be handy to have a frame of reference to point at beyond vague name dropping#actually I love linking to names because my memory is just so piss poor. why not just make it easier for everyone else also#I know I have 185756328 OC’s xbdnfjdnfsnfjs so.#I have to do this for one of my friends uvu; bad memory havers rise up
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johnny-depplyloveyou · 6 months
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I know there are many bad takes about Gale on this site, but the worst takes I’ve seen on another social media site in another language are much more abhorrent than anything here tbh, the recent one I’ve seen even gets some popularity among his “fans”... They were basically saying it’s Mystra who made him the humble man he is now, without her influence on him he would be as egotistical as in his god ending, and more than a hundred of reblogs are all thanking Mystra for “training her lapdog so well” for them🤢
Did we even play the same game? Isn’t his god ending a direct result of Mystra making him think he will never be enough as he is, and he can only find his self-worth through gaining more power? Didn’t Tara say he’s not himself anymore and she would no longer be his companion in his god ending, she knew him long before Mystra made him her chosen, he was powerful enough before his relationship with Mystra, if he’s anything like god!Gale at the time wouldn’t Tara just leave him? I’d imagine he would have been more confident and had a more stable self-image if Mystra had never contacted him, therefore he didn’t even need the Gale of Waterdeep persona. He would always have been Gale Dekarios in that timeline. And people glorifying Mystra’s grooming and abuse towards him and unironically calling him “her lapdog” is just... I have no words. But what do you expect from an online space that’s infested with terfs and radfems? They just won’t recognize or acknowledge any abuse from women towards men...
#rant#cw: grooming#cw: abuse#fandom critical#and I lost count of how many takes calling him an abled person on that site#they were like#I don't care that he’s suicidal depressed autistic and chronically ill#compared to a certain elf he’s an abled person and trauma-free!#yikes zero awareness of their own ableism#fuck mystra#don't want to put this in his main tags#I didn’t mean to say that every person who praised mystra here is a radfem/terf#but most people there do share essentialist view about gender and sex#they are very hostile to queer men in fandoms as well#there are anon confession blogs and most of them are males dni#and there’s almost zero content of wyll in the fandom there#racism here is already bad but it’s much worse there and no one talk about it#they liked it when larian made gale doesn’t leave when you denied him medicine#they liked it when they removed the persuasion check in the drow twins scene#it’s kind of a power trip to them#they liked it when they can bully a man they claimed to love and face no consequences#it’s not d/s it’s downright abusive#they’re really saying mystra did nothing wrong in another garbage take#they’re going to excuse a god who sexually exploited a mortal like a tool and then cast him aside because a honest mistake he made#which the said god could easily prevent it by telling him the knowledge he didn’t have about the true nature of the orb#then tell him to kill himself for forgiveness when the god can foresee the outcome which would be unleashing a illithid infestation#the power inbanlance between them is so enormous that no real life situation can be compared to it#he literally can’t say no in that relationship#they’re going to excuse all these just because the god is female presenting#women can’t cause serious harm as men do isn’t a feminist stance at all as they think
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cashewally-sarcastic · 4 months
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Bestie,,,, did the kokomi quest,,,,, do you have any compliments on it cause while it was fine it was just fine to me. Perhaps a different perspective could up the score in my head
Kokomi quest 😔
The only like….compliment (?) I’d have for it was it explored like. A different part of kokomi? The whole energy thing with her? And maybe the whole soldiers returning to normal life thing?
But that’s all I got, it is just kinda A Quest for sure
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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