#which means i don't get PTO

[zozo-01]

[corvid-language-library]

@ocs-and-chapters dw most of my first week of 2024 was looking for more textbooks for Japanese.

I do love a good textbook! Let us know if you find any you like :) I'm still working with Minna No Nihongo atm (going through all the chapters in order which means recapping some very basic stuff rn, but I can't bring myself to just skip chapter lmao). I have Nihongo Somatome N4 too which is a good overview of N4 grammar, plus Japanese Tutor from the Teach Yourself series, which is... uhh. Well, let's just say I was disappointed.

[theweirdwideweb]

I reported my boss to HR for discrimination last week. Please tell me if I'm crazy.

My old boss got promoted so around October I got a new supervisor. We've been coworkers for about 5 years and had a friendly relationship. I'd been to her house, met her kids, we chit chatted a lot. When she started approving my time cards she noticed I was using about 3-5 hours of PTO per week at random times. I explained this was an informal arrangement I had with my previous supervisor due to my disability. I have C-PTSD and ADHD which honestly make it difficult to get through the day pretty much every day. Sometimes I need more breaks and if I'm using my PTO and being honest, who cares right? Well the new supervisor cared. She told me that if I couldn't be a full time employee they couldn't justify our headcount and my job was on the line unless I made this a formal arrangement. I was really hurt but I did it, I got all the doctors notes together and figured--while I'm formalizing it, I actually do need extra therapy so I'm gonna make my FMLA (family medical leave act) time include these sessions.

All this is approved obviously because one thing I'm not is self diagnosed. I've got medical records a mile high. So starting in January this official leave time goes into effect and I can use up to 7 hours of PTO per week. Before all this began my supervisor consistently praised me as a "rockstar" employee, saying I was the only person on the team who truly follows the rules. In general I was thought of as an excellent worker and had received a promotion. The team that I lead smashed our goals for 2023. But, strangely, once I start the FMLA my supervisor begins complaining about my lack of productivity. I kept a spreadsheet as a tool for my ADHD where I tracked how I was spending my time so I volunteered to let her see it so she could figure it out. Instead of sending the spreadsheet tracking my work in 5 minute increments once or twice, this woman has had me sending it every week for the past 7 months. Every Monday we have our 1:1 and she lets me know how poorly I'm doing. She also sends me an email on Mondays where she counts every email I have in my inbox, every claim I have across multiple programs, every minute of meetings I have scheduled and sends me the amount of time she expects it to take and if I don't make it then we have to talk about my "problems".

Now I'm practically never making it. I've appealed to her and to her boss so many times that there is something wrong with this formula they've come up with to calculate my workload--and they both just think I'm lying. Long story short in May I started measuring my time not on the spreadsheet but by the individual tasks in the email and not only am I keeping up, but there's a full 5-6 hours of work every week that she hasn't been counting (including 3 hours talking on the phone---with her!). I bring this up at our 1:1 in late May and say, See there really is something wrong with your measurement. I'm right on track productivity wise with these tasks. She doesn't acknowledge at all the flaw I've found in her formula but DOES say, "I do think there's been an improvement in your productivity and I expect it will continue to improve as you get more therapy." Full on MASK OFF. So my "productivity issues" are improved by therapy, meaning she's been ascribing those issues to my disability. Incredible.

I go to HR the next day to have this interaction on the record. First time I've gone to HR about anything ever. They are so concerned that they are going to launch an investigation and I tearfully plead with them not to because my boss's boss is out on medical leave and I don't want to cause huge problems while she's away and can't moderate. I didn't realize it would automatically cause an investigation to report this. The lady takes pity on me and says they won't investigate for now.

The VERY NEXT DAY my supervisor tells us in a team meeting (other people there to witness) that she's got a funny story about her son. It's some innocent story about how he's grounded and can't go to a party, but she continues on by talking about how she has to be extra strict with him because he has ADHD. If she doesn't enforce consequences, he'll never learn! And he has to learn because when he grows up his boss isn't going to take his ADHD as an excuse. "Policies are policies" she said, "Your boss isn't going to accept an answer like I know I was supposed to do four things but I only got to three because...." She even went further talking about how he's having trouble learning to drive because of his ADHD and just laughing about it. When he has to do something, she says, she has to remind him multiple times and set timers and double check with him otherwise he'll forget.

So I'm fucking flabbergasted at this point, right? This whole time I've been feeling like this time tracking is discriminatory and here she is just spelling it out for me in neon letters: YES, IT ACTUALLY IS. So I'm biding my time until her boss gets back from medical leave. But after 3 weeks of showing her that her method is flawed she tells me I don't have to do the spreadsheet anymore. Her boss is back but cancelled our first meeting, so I figure: If the bullshit stops, for the sake of my career and mental health I'm gonna let this go. My supervisor goes on vacation for 2 weeks. I'm doing my work exactly as I want to without the added pressure and everything is going great.

Once she gets back though we have our 1:1 and she asks me where my emails were on the 2 past Fridays telling her if I got all my work done. Which she never asked me to do, btw. Reader---I mcfreakin lost it. I belligerently asked why this was still necessary, that I felt picked on and bullied, that she isn't doing this to anyone else on the team, and that I'm sick and tired of constantly being demoralized by her leadership. I told her that I was going to talk to her boss directly about this situation. She was pissed. She actually unfriended me on facebook which for middle aged women is like throwing a grenade.

Next day I talk to her boss. I bring my evidence because of course I've been taking notes. The situation is serious. HR has become involved. And just because there are anti-retaliatory rules for reporting protected concerns doesn't actually protect me from getting fired. Suddenly I'm fearful about everything. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my job and my health insurance, bye bye therapy,, bye bye surgery I need. I've been at this job 6 years and the animosity is at an all time high. Christ almighty.

[madlittlecriminal]

[04] Secret Ingredient⥓ Mafia!Miguel O'Hara × Female!Baker!Reader

Warnings: Danny is an oc, mention of death in the family (not reader or miguel related), mention of pregnancy (not reader), annoying customers, two cliffhangers in one (im sorry), patrick o'hara (web-slinger)

series masterlist | miguel o'hara masterlist

Another day, another employee seeming to irritate him to the core. Miguel didn't understand what was so hard for this guy to understand that no meant no, but seeing him beg Miguel for a day off when his PTO ran out was comical to say the least.

"For the last time, Danny, you used up your PTO. I cannot give you the day off simply because you don't want to work. If you were at work more often instead of doing whatever you want to do, then maybe you'd have the day off." He says while leaning back in his chair.

"But you don't understand! I need the day off, Mr. O'Hara! Please!"

"Give me a valid reason why and I'll think about it." It was bullshit. The only way Danny was going to get out of this is if his fiancée was giving birth or if he had a death in the family. For any other reason, Danny was going back to work and Miguel didn't care if Danny was going to throw a fit.

He was honestly surprised that Danny and his fiancée were still together considering he hardly works and they live together.

"Well...you see..." Danny started, but he couldn't come up with a valid excuse other than not wanting to work.

Miguel waited for him, his leg folded to where his ankle rested on his knee and his hands folded on top of his abdomen. He tilted to the side as he listened to Danny stutter.

"Danny, I'm a patient man. However, your stutter isn't natural. You're nervous because you can't come up with a lie right now and that's fine. However, don't expect me to listen to you if you can't come up with a lie. Get back to work."

Danny grumbled before leaving Miguel's office, slamming the door behind him.

"Slamming doors como si paga por algo-" he paused and shuddered. "Oh God, I sound like my mother." (like of you pay for something-) Miguel shook his head and fixed his blazer before going to type on his computer before his phone rang. A small smile formed on his lips when he saw your name pop up on the screen, but he didn't answer it until the third ring.

"I thought you gave me a fake number there for a second." You let out a sigh, making Miguel let out a shy chuckle, fidgeting with his pen as he tried to tell himself to relax from how hard his heart was thumping in his chest with nerves.

"Nope. Right number." He says, leaning back into his chair again as he heard you put the phone down.

"Good! Okay, I had a weird question to ask you." You say, everything around you sounding much louder which he automatically connected it to you putting the phone on speaker.

"Ask away." He reaches over and grabs his glass of water with a trembling hand from his nerves.

"Why did you need to know about interior designers and such?"

Miguel smirks, thanking whoever that it was a phone call and not in person communication or a video call. "That's for me to know and for you to find out."

"Of course it is."

He heard you huff out a breath and he couldn't help but bite his bottom lip to hold back a laugh.

There had to be flaws somewhere in you...right? I mean, he only saw perfection-

'No. Stop it, Miguel. Not yet. Don't fall just yet.'

"Well, I'll let you go. I have a cake to work on."

Before he could get a word in, you hung up.

Miguel put his phone down and let out a chuckle. He rests his elbow on the arm rest of his desk chair, his chin resting on his palm as he let his mind wander a bit.

Where did his mind wander to exactly?

To you.

He wondered if your hands were rough or surprisingly soft. He wondered where you learned to bake. Was it taught to you by a parent or guardian? Did you learn from recipe books? YouTube videos? I mean, he had to thank someone for your talent. Shit, he wouldn't be surprised if you were self taught.

He shook his head before a soft knock was heard from his office door. He looked up and immediately regretted it when he saw the look of shock and anxiousness on Lyla's face.

"They're here for the meeting, Mr. O'Hara."

He got up and buttoned his blazer before following Lyla out of his office and into the conference room. He knew Lyla well enough that when she said his last name, it wasn't Alchemax business.

-----

You raise a brow at the man in front of you who was asking for a gender reveal cake.

"Sorry, can you repeat that?"

"I want a gender reveal cake, but instead of the usual pink and blue and you do black?"

You blink at him.

"Black and...?"

"Just black."

"Do you want the frosting black?"

"No. I want the cake to be black."

"Sir, that's not how a gender reveal cake works. If you want, I can do black and whi-"

"No, I want black."

"What's the gender?"

"Boy."

"Okay. So you want everything to be black?"

He nods.

"What flavor?"

"Vanilla."

You stood there for a bit, screaming internally as you head to the back to take out a vanilla cake you just made. You quickly made black frosting with food coloring before decorating the cake. When you triple checked that it was perfect, you showed it to the customer.

"You made sure it was blue on the inside, right?"

You wanted to throw it at the customer.

"Sir, you told me you didn't want to do pink or blue, you wanted black."

"Yeah. The frosting."

You clenched your teeth before forcing a smile.

"Anything else?"

"Yeah, I need it within the next two hours or so."

"Come again?"

He gave you a nod before stepping out of the bakery.

"Customers piss me off sometimes." You murmur.

"Do they? I'm sorry to hear that."

Your eyes widen before they meet a familiar pair of brown eyes.

"Hey darlin'. Hope I'm not interrupting anythin' important." Patrick says softly, giving his charming country boy smile that made you relax.

~~~~

tags:

@deputy-videogamer @barbiecrocs @deepinballs @faimmm @wakeupr41 @bubblegumfanfictions @smartyren @kimmis-stuff @latenightcravingz @youcantseem3 @corpsebridenightamare @thedevax @cicithemess @diannana @itsameclinicaldepresssion @hwasoup @migueloharasbbm @vkumi

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for kicking someone out of my D&D campaign for reasons not entirely related to the game?

This is long but the context is important I swear.

About a year ago, I (30X) tried to assemble a D&D group with my coworkers. After a whole lot of fucking around, the guy who was going to DM moving across the country, and a bunch of people quitting or getting fired, it ended up being me as the DM, my brother, a few other people who I met through a different campaign, and one guy who used to work with me.

This guy, J (23M), had a lot of personal problems when he worked for us, most of which contributed to him being let go. He had a lot of family issues that led to him missing a lot of work (and I mean A Lot. We have a Very good PTO system for the US that basically amounts to accruing one day off for every 50 hours you work, earning more the longer you stay with the company, and more allowance for attendance infractions than any company I've ever heard of in the states). He also had a lot of interpersonal issues with some of the employees, one in particular, K (21F), with whom he had some kind of situationship. I try not to get involved in work drama, so I don't know all the details.

J also has issues with money, transportation, and depression/suicidal tendencies. I'm not judging him for any of those, as I have experience with them as well, but he has been leaning on me pretty heavily around every time we hang out to play D&D. I would cover his 120$+ Uber rides home, which he would sometimes pay me back but sometimes not (if I couldn't afford it once a month, I wouldn't do it, but he insists he's going to pay me back; since he has lost yet another job I am not expecting it at all and don't hold it against him really, but I do think it's kind of shitty to insist you're going to when you clearly won't be able to), pay for his food, work with my family members to get him home, and let him crash at my house to avoid ordering an Uber. He also messaged me when he was feeling suicidal - bad enough to be institutionalized after I sent him the number for the suicide hotline. Again, no judgement, but it made me uncomfortable because I struggle with the same things. He seemed bothered that I told him I wasn't able to talk him through it, but that may have just been the crisis talking.

After all that, we come to a game session that involves more than just navigating dangerous spaces and fighting off wild animals. The rest of the party does fine, but J really botches the social interaction part, despite everyone telling him what he's doing is a bad idea and me doing my best as a DM to communicate that he should change tactics. He does not change tactics and instead doubles down and goes full murderhobo, which is not the kind of player I'm interested in playing with, something I thought J understood from previous conversations.

My original plan was to say something to the table at our next session about removing themselves from the game if the themes weren't something they were interested in engaging with, but then I get some additional info today about J and K.

Apparently J has been incredibly possessive towards K - someone who, again, he was not dating in any meaningful capacity - for weeks or months, to the point that she has blocked him on social media off and on. And then this past week, J has sent her screenshots of her location, contacted her ex who she still lives with for logistical reasons, made him upset to the point that K thought he was going to kick her out of his apartment, and harassed K's brother to try to get her to talk to him again. K is seriously considering taking out a restraining order against him at this point. J has also been updating his social media to imply that he is going to kill himself.

To say this behavior raises some red flags is an understatement. Clearly J needs help, but as a regular guy, that's really not something I'm able to provide beyond sending mental health hotlines, and I don't feel comfortable being his support system in the way he obviously needs.

All that said, I feel like I might be an asshole for kicking him out of the campaign full stop, because he's been really excited to play this whole time. But the combination of all this really worrisome, potentially dangerous behavior and the mundane reality of him just being a really annoying player kind of has me at my wits end, so, WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

[latibvles]

poetttt pls dump some june backstory on me i need it 🙏

June loves u as much as I do — she told me herself! We can get into it.

So June grew up in a neighborhood called Back of the Yards in Chicago. Her parents and brothers immigrated to America from Poland after WWI, but her brothers were still very little at the time (her eldest brother Antoni was three, and her brother Piotr was one).

@xxluckystrike said June has the energy of the "only girl" sibling and they're absolutely correct. June's the youngest of three, has two older brothers, her parents worked blue collar jobs (most likely in the meatpacking industry, given the neighborhood she grew up in). As the youngest June was... kind of spoiled, but she's always been bossy and opinionated, and she's always been, well, angry — or perhaps more aptly, impatient.

She has a strong cultural identity; her parents don't speak English and Polish was the only language she spoke until she was about five and was going to start school, so her brothers had to teach her English. She's very, very proud of her heritage, she insults someone in Polish in this piece (dupek, which means asshole) but also is just very conversationally fluent. She doesn't get much opportunity to show that off in England though.

June is someone who knew she was pretty particularly in high school but she never had the time nor patience; she resents that she was spoiled in her childhood because it gave her some weird inferiority feelings in comparison to her brothers, but she knew her worth as a pretty girl and didn't give boys much thought. She doesn't have a lot of experience in the physical side of things, but usually knows when she's being hit on (and how to scare people off).

All of which to say: her family's tight-knit. She's close to them, they write, while her father wasn't STOKED about her military service it didn't completely destroy their relationship. Her brothers are also serving (I have to think in what branches, but I know Piotr is in the PTO, so likely a marine). Live laugh love the Cielinski house (June's mom loves Benny so much guys it's so deeply unserious and endearing)

[jenthebug]

I'm home, work was super exhausting and tedious.

More referrals.

I'm salty.

This lady sat around and did practically nothing for three months, called out sick a bunch, took super long breaks and hour long lunches, and fucked off without organizing anything.

And who's being punished with stacks and stacks of undone referrals? Those of us who show up and do work. It's not fair, which sounds like a childish thing to say, but sometimes the kids have it figured it out. We should be rewarded for good behavior, not punished. But the work has to get done regardless.

There are at least two days each week when I seriously consider calling out sick, different days each week, just because I'm fucking exhausted. (Ex-husband's mom is all like "I don't know how you work full time with cancer" and I don't either tbh) I am fatigued all the time. I come in because I need the paid time off for my medical appointments and my honeymoon, but damn, it doesn't feel good. I'd like some acknowledgement for that.

I don't mean like "thanks for your hard work" or even gifts or raises (ok I'd take a raise but still), I mean time the fuck off. Like, "here's a mental health day off the books" or "here's a bonus 20 hours of PTO" or "you wanna take an hour for lunch today?"

But that's not how The Healthcare Corporation (tm) works.

So I will come in tomorrow and call more referrals, and be glad it's a half day for my oncologist appointment, and ask the NP about iron infusions or something to get my energy up.

[ananke-xiii]

Cas needs a win (or some PTOs really)

In "The Future" there's a really interesting line that I've overlooked in the past but that's actually pretty telling. Cas tells Dean the following:

"And I just wanted... I needed to come back here with a win for you. For myself".

The "for myself" is quite an important addition because I think that Cas has a tendency to hide his own personal desires, needs and ambitions behind Dean and the importance he places on his relationship with him ( famous examples such as "I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you", "I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.", "I cared about the whole world because of you" come to mind).

Now of course in and of itself this is definitely not a negative thing, quite the opposite since Dean has indeed been a key factor in Cas' internal and external upheaval. What I'm trying to say is that this is the most obvious excuse for doing/wanting certain things and it allows Cas to get sort of a free pass instead of explicitly owning his wants and needs. By the way, Cas is not shifting the weight of what he thinks are his responsibilities intentionally on Dean, but I think he sort of lies to himself and uses the "I'm doing this for X reason but certainly not for myself" card as a coping mechanism against his complicated relationship with power and, more importantly, with powerlessness.

So when he says that he needs a win for Dean and then honestly adds that he needs the win for himself too, Cas is actually showing growth and vulnerability. Of course, this is something that Cas can only share with Dean and Dean only. When Kelvin praises him for his betrayal ("Committing to Joshua's plan, putting angelkind above the Winchesters. I mean, your reputation in Heaven is –") Cas is super quick to add that he's NOT doing it for his reputation but he's doing it for the Winchesters. Which is 100% true but what Cas is obviously omitting here is that he's doing it because he needs a win. And he needs it badly. But why?

I'm gonna come out here and say it: I don't see Cas as a strategist. Like not at all. And if he is, I think he's a very, very bad one. Here, I've said it. I think Cas is on the exact opposite end of what constitutes a good strategist because he's a reckless son of a bitch. He's exactly what strategists prepare for: he's the unpredictable, the wild card that can turn the fate of a battle in a matter of seconds and the good thing about that is exactly that you don't know what he'll do. He doesn't even know what he'll do. As a matter of fact I've alwasy found funny when in "The End" Cas calls 2014!Dean's plan "insouciant" or "reckless". Because these are the exact same adjectives I'd use to descrive Cas' plans or Cas in general for that matter.

Having said that, war is in Cas' DNA or whatever, in his grace perhaps. Therefore Cas is a wavelength of celestial intent that thrives on winning battles and fighting enemies. But there's also a streak of ambition and hubris in Cas in that he's the BAMF that goes against archangels, tries to find God by himself and doesn't shy away from The Darkness herself. One might say he has delusions of grandeur or perhaps he's a badass with a death wish.

I'd say all of the above. Because, to me, one of Cas' defining traits is that he keeps trying. He's always ready to raise the stakes and, regardless of what he says, he does have an inner confidence in himself, a secret voice that tells him that he can win. Perhaps, this is what makes him so charming to people, his aura of badass, tormented self-assurance.

In s12 Cas' confidence has taken a real blow, he's scraping the bottom of the barrel. Reasoning in terms of +1 win/-1 fail, the season opens with a fat, giant -1 for Cas since he wasn't able to keep Sam safe, aka he failed at the one thing Dean asked of him. He gets Dean back, though, so I'll count it as +1 for win. All in all, things seem to be okayish.

But they're not a-ah! Another -1 is on the horizon as we are reminded that Lucifer is still on the loose and Cas feels guilty over it and yada yada, the usual: I have to fix it because it's my responsibility. So far Cas's still not winning.

I gotta hand it to him, Cas showed real maturity when he admitted he could stall Lucifer for 3 minutes. Old Cas would've just gone in there guns a-blazing, no risk assessment and wing it. I'll give him a +1 for personal win. However, they don't catch Lucifer and everyone, and I mean everyone, disagrees with Dean when he calls their little fight a win("Well, we didn't catch Lucifer, but we did save the crowd, so I'm gonna call that a win). I agree with Dean but I'm the only one so I'm going to give a grand total of 0 because consensus wasn't reached.

Things escalate quickly from here on: -1 because Kelly escapes on Cas' watch, -1 because Dean and Sam get kidnapped and Cas can't find them, -1 because he can't even solve a vamp case, +1 because no Winchester dies but also - a fuckton of cosmic consequences as he kills Billie.

So to sum it up: Cas's still NOT winning. Like, at all.

We could hardly call "Lily Sunder has Some Regrets" a win. The episode ends on a hopeful note but Cas is totally pretending and performing for Dean's sake ("Let's drink, and hope we can find a better way" is such a glaring "he wouldn't fucking say that" for Cas that, to me, it's clear that he's just putting up a front for the brothers' benefit).

Things go from bad to worse in "Stuck in the Middle with You" which opens with a bleeding Cas who can't even walk properly and he's assisted by Mary while we hear this song in the background:

So come on baby walk with a winner

come on girl, walk with a winner

hey girl come on, swing along with me, there' so much to see

great big world for you and me

I love some good irony. All the more so since we know this time Cas is undoubtedly close to dying for realsies.

Cas dying: let's talk about it. I think it really stung for Cas that he was about to die at the hands of Ramiel, skewered like a fish by the lance of Michael (of all angels!), suffering horribly and possibly forced to watch his family get killed in front of his eyes while he can't do nothing but keep decaying and dying. Love confession aside for a moment, this was a low blow in all its possible meanings for poor Castiel. I think that even though he made it out that barn alive something inside of him was really hurt and broken by the modality of the events as they unfolded. He, an angel who had fought archangels and won, who just managed to confront Lucifer, was harpooned like a whale by a Prince of Hell and forced to die in a way that totally incapacitated his ability to protect his family (he couldn't even self-sacrifice, Cas' favorite dish, cause he was already SO done for). He hit rock bottom in terms of powerlessness.

So when in "Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell" along comes Kelvin I think what truly seduces Cas is not the promise to reunite with and be forgiven by his own family but the promise of power: "I don't. Look, I know you're working with the Winchesters. Sam and Dean -- their hearts are in the right place, but wouldn't it be better to have us waiting in the proverbial wings? All the power of Heaven behind you?". I think Cas really wants that power, he needs it because he needs a win.

Under this light, fetus!Jack lending Cas his power to kill another Prince of Hell in lieu of the one who almost got him killed is something way more interesting than the usual "he got brainwashed for the nth time". Yes, true, however, Cas saying " I've been so lost. I'm not lost anymore. And I know now that this child must be born with all of his power."is so much more revealing of his character if we consider that Cas finally got his win (he's not lost anymore) thanks to a borrowed power (he had Jack's power behind him, in the proverbial wings as Kelvin would say), borrowing power from other angels/souls being a thing that Cas does quite frequently on Supernatural, lol.

Cas gains his confidence back to the point that he's back to being reckless and insoucinat with it. While at the beginning of the season he was smart enough to be real and say he could only stall Lucifer for 3 minutes, now that he's got his big win he's so engrossed with it that he stupidly goes to Apocalypse World armed with a stupid angel blade thinking he can take Lucifer.

Cas needed a win, sure, but what he truly, truly needed were some fucking PTOs from constantly being on the battlefield. Because, at the end of the day, he sort of got his win but he also eventually got himself dead so what was the point?

I know that, on the surface, this view might seem to cast a bit of a dark shadow on Cas' personality but I find him so much more interesting when he's not portrayed as a puppy cute little doggie doing things just because he loves Dean. Of course he does, lol, but he's so much more than that and a lot of his character has clearly to do with power and how it corrupts and entices people or, well, beings in general, that I think it's worth exploring.

[shiraishi--kanade]

Wait so you have universal health care and also have huge medical bills??? I'm genuinely confused

Anon, you're probably American and you know what, I'm as confused about how American healthcare works and how therefore you guys imagine universal healthcare works as you are, so I'm not going to hold it against you.

But here's how it works in my country:

1. I have a heart disease. I go to a cardiologist in my city. My cardiologist takes one good look at me and says: "I'm sorry, we have nothing to help you here"- (because they lack the medical equipment, educated staff, or, in more cases than not, both). -"Here's reception contact for our state cardiology clinic, please go there."

2. So I go to the state clinic (that is located a fair distance away). They take a closer look at me, and they would treat about 60% cases that come to them, but then will also say "here's your meds and diagnosis but we don't have the equipment or staff to be 100% sure this is what's wrong. Have you considered..."

And then they refer me to a private hospital. Or a private clinic. Regardless, a private doctor, who charges their patients like everyone else does, and that pay goes up in thousands and tens of thousands for diagnostic processing or monitoring alone. And that's where I actually get my treatment. And my bills. Because regardless if you have universal healthcare or not, healthcare industry exists and will continue to exist.

State-funded healthcare (which we call free but it's not actually free, it's just paid for you by the state) will never be able to compete with the private healthcare industry because 1) the state doesn't receive any profit, and in fact only loses money on providing healthcare, 2) the state therefore does only the bare minimum to keep up with the demand, and usually doesn't necessitate enough funding to provide new technology and equipment or training, if any, 3) the medical staff, who have no equipment or training or pay, says "screw this, I'm out" and goes into the private field, where they actually have a shot at having a decent pay and working conditions.

Therefore the universal healthcare institution grows only weaker.

Is it fucked up? Yeah. Does it bring unnecessary suffering to anyone? Also yeah. But if you're any level of smart in this situation you'd just skip the first two steps and immediately go and pay to get treated properly instead of risk wasting PTO, gas and possibly your pre-existing condition flaring up to go through the routine.

And this is also why medical insurance is starting to get traction in my country with universal healthcare, because universal healthcare doesn't mean that you can get all the medical services free of charge but rather that there are options provided for you. No-one ever said these options have to not suck, especially for someone with a chronic condition. Fun!

Still better than the USA though I will admit to that.

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Sunflower, ramblings and a request from Kit.

Look, I'm going through it right now. My husband has been sick for five weeks, I'm finally getting better after two weeks. He's got double pneumonia because he had to one up fucking everyone else.

I just want to say- Sunflower will still get posted sometime tomorrow as is normal.

His grandfather has been in the hospital the last few days and I've gotten the pleasure of being the family contact because he's limited contact with most of his family. Which means all the updates, family politics and bullshit has been going through me.

And just now we got the notice that he's going on comfort care, not looking to last past morning. He has no PTO, he's missed a week of work and we've got a 1400 tax bill due in like a week.

But hey- I had to pick myself up and help the kid with her geography project, due tomorrow. And drive an hour into town for supplies. And clean the house. Alone, because sick husband is shutting down.

I don't fucking know. I just do not fucking know. And this man shuts down and pretends everything is okay in response to stress. But we sure as fuck can't afford him to miss more work or a plane ticket halfway across the country and back. I don't even know how we're going to make the bills this month.

I am drowning, mentally and emotionally.

I am fucking begging you, send me asks. Tag me in shit. Fucking make me talk to you this weekend. Show me your shitty little drawings or your spectacular little drawings. Tell me what random ass fandom you're hot under the collar for even if it's not one I'm in.

I'm going to bed in an hourish and will be begging for the same tomorrow. And all weekend. Because this amount of stress, being the household and family manager through this is going to eat me alive.

[ioletia]

You know what I hate about capitalism more than anything? That corporations can just steal. Steal from you, steal from me, steal from everyone and get away with it.

Recently I had an interaction with a District Manager that left me going, "Well, fuck this job, I'm finding a new one." And I did, but not before also being physically assaulted by a coworker. Fun. I resigned immediately, wrote up a fancy letter detailing the assault, the harassment, and the literal legality of paying me my due compensation. What happened?

Well, HR tried to contact me to get more information, to which I declined. I no longer worked for the company and so their investigation into any of this was really none of my damn business at that point. They refused to talk about my compensation at all to the point of saying, "At that time, we’ll proceed with next steps of accepting your resignation." We were at a standstill. I refused to comply with their investigation, and they refused to talk about my final pay.

TO WIT, we, and most other Americans, live in an at will state, meaning that employment can be terminated for any reason at any time barring contract or protected status. The company might have some internal policy regarding resignation notices, but you are under no obligation to respect them. The moment you resign a clock begins ticking. Depending on what state you live in, the company in question has a set amount of time to pay you your fair compensation. There's a list here, although it's always best to check your state's labor department website for more accurate information.

In my state they had until the next payday to pay me. Today is that day. And they didn't. I even contacted them yesterday when I saw the balance pre-deposited into my bank account was incorrect. I literally pointed out the exact state statute detailing what wages consist of, how long they had to pay me, and that they had by the end of today to pay the correct amount or they were in violation of the law. And they didn't even bother responding, or paying me. Almost $400 of vacation and PTO I'm owed. They just stole it.

So, I had to spend two hours today gathering up all of this information, putting it into a easy to read summation of events, and send that off to the labor department to investigate. And what sort of punishment will the company receive once the labor department decides they were in the wrong... Nothing. Nothing. Corporations can just get away with this shit. This is why wage theft is the most common and well practiced type of theft out there.

It took me nearly two hours of gathering all the documentation up to support my claim. It's going to take I don't know how many more hours for the labor department to investigate. All for what amounts to pocket change for a multi-billion dollar international company known as Sherwin Williams.

These corporation cost America money. Period. They steal money from their workers and then force tax payers to subsidize the labor departments to fight those wages out of these greedy corporations' hands. Corporations are parasites that need to be heavily controlled. I mean, what else would you call something that literally exists off the back of someone else if not a parasite?

[deadweight-at7am]

Soooo it's looking like I maybe should move on at my job. I've been here 5 years and I'm starting to really feel resentment and feel used. I've proven myself more than capable in every area but they refuse to give me a manager salary and treat me like I'm nobody.

Some higher level decisions have negatively affected me and I'm pretty much over the idea of having to take the brunt of someone else's poor decision making skills. A team member left in January and they didn't replace her. Instead the decision was to let a person who was doing part of the job she did, do the entire thing. He took on that work and is now a one-man show. I think he actually likes it this way. Either way, whether he loves it or loathes it, my bosses decided without ASKING ME that the person who is covering for him when he's out is me. Why? Oh, looks like I'm the only competent person who has been cross-trained and does the job without a mountain of errors. We don't work in the same department. I just happen to know how to do his job. My job is completely separate to his and on a daily basis we do DIFFERENT WORK. He's not in my department, he's not trained on my job, etc.

I put in for PTO for 3 days during my kids' Spring Break last Friday along with a request for July. Spring Break is the end of March. I'm putting in for it a month in advance. I also put in for my vacation at the beach. I got a call from my boss saying "your request for July is fine but there is going to be a problem with March". I immediately started to get angry. She tells me that Dude took off for an entire week at the end of March, his PTO overlaps and they can't do both. I literally waited a good 5 seconds to reply and said "what does his PTO have to do with me? He's not in my department." She then starts stumbling over her words to explain how it somehow is MY problem and I said "Boss, this has never been an issue in the past." She's like "yeah this is an issue now though because Team Mate left." I am staring at my phone screen with this look of pure disgust because I know she's trying to brow beat me into backing down and saying I'm not going to take those days off. So, I tell her really matter-of-factly "well this is why I told everyone we needed to be included in conversations in people's PTO if I'm expected to cover for them and I never was, so I'm going out of town. It's not going to be possible for me to cancel this vacation." She gets really defensive and says something STUPID about how "we don't announce the entire company's PTO requests" and I cut her off and said "I never once said that I needed to know EVERYONE'S requests, I said I needed to be included in any that INVOLVE ME". She gets silent and goes "Well, I mean, if you can't cancel plans we'll need to work out a coverage schedule" and I just sat there like "yeah, guess you do, don't you?" I don't know why she didn't expect me to stand on business, because that's who I am. I'm not going to be intimidated into not taking deserved vacation time because they decided, without consulting me, that I am the fill-in for Dude. I have done it in the past, but did not agree to anything like this since his team mate left. I even said one day "that's not tenable because we need two people for coverage when someone leaves on vacation".

We have a meeting at 11am which will be VERY interesting, I'm sure. Can't wait to hear some drivel about "updated PTO request guidelines" that were borne of this very stupid situation.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

I think I realized what an impossible task I have at my job to accomplish, and how the teachers view the library staff as a parasite.

Some of it is my fault.

But in retrospect, it's as if I sneezed loudly at a wrong moment, and now the Staff there treat me like a batman tier war criminal, and it's entirely unfair.

Example and dumb rambles of Teacher staff drama under the cut cus I'm fed up and just making this Tumblr post to vent if anything.

Today, there was a buffet potluck for Teacher staff. So I asked if I could have some. They said yes. But once I had food, they were upset I was eating "teacher staff" food and it wasn't for Library Staff.

They even sent the Elementary Guidance Councilor to tell me this. And they spoke in the same voice that they use for five year olds having a disagreement.

But this wasn't a disagreement, more of a misunderstanding.

I mean, did they think I'd eat the whole potluck? Did they want me to contribute?

I gladly would have. Heck, I could have given the parent teacher association money if that's what this was about.

I know why they treat me this way. It's because I took a few small foods from the PTO breakroom in the past without paying for them. Planning to pay back once I got my paycheck. (I'm not the only one to do this. The few teachers who I am friendly with do this all the time and assured me it was fine.)

This was over five months ago and I have since payed back the money, apologized for my mistake and misunderstanding, and have been trying to move on. As my job revolves around having good working relationship with the staff there.

So I will admit fault for my slip ups of work related hunger and poverty.

I can take responsibility for my actions, and I have sense been trying to build my relationships up since.

What I didn't appreciate was that they told me I was allowed to potluck functions, something I double checked and asked about, and made sure it was absolutely okay for me to have this food, which they said alright, then got mad when I took a small amount of food, locked me out of the breakroom, despite me having a key, and treated me like a war criminal or a Snorlax that'll eat the whole damn potluck.

Not to mention, my boss also wants me to "come up with something" to organize the library in a new way.

When they admitted personally that they don't know what they want.

So I don't know what to research.

But since I'm on probation on yet another job, I will get fired if I don't find or come up with something they want by the end of the month.

The task is impossible.

Partially self inflicted. I know I did some of this myself. But I don't think it's all self inflicted. I think it's also part of the Teacher Staff being very catty and clichey and just treating the library staff like unwanted parasites or outsiders.

And I don't think I deserve a lot of the isolation that they put me though. (I either have a choice of eating in the hallway where the library is located or a broom closet these days. And yes, the superintendent was the one who made this "compromise" so their food doesn't get "stolen" Granted, the custodians can't use the breakroom now either.... But the substitutes can.)

Either I'll quit or be fired by the end of the year.

I think I'm too autistic to have a job where building relationships and have everyone like you be part of my job description.

I feel I'm too autistic for a job anymore in general.

Anyway, long story short:

Me: oh cool. Nice food. Can I have some?

Them: sure.

Me: (eating) them: no, no. Bad girl. That's teacher food.

[kralie-films]

Any update on Alex? It sounds like you two are really close, I understand being protective of him and wanting to keep him safe. I hope you were able to find him

Thanks for your messages, I'm going to go into a little more detail about what happened, now.

We live in the city, and as such, it's always a little busy. Down the street from us is a big park. I'm sure some of you might know what park I'm talking about, but I'm not going to name it. It's notorious for getting a little dangerous after dark, so I was surprised that he didn't come home at sundown. As someone suggested, I went off to look for him.

Walking out of the apartment building, I immediately realized something was off. The normal city noises such as cars honking and other such background noise was gone. You hardly, if ever think about these things until it's completely silent. In an actual forest, the absence of sound usually signifies the presence of some kind of predator. Maybe I was dealing with one, but I had never experienced anything like this before.

I made my way down empty streets. There were cars, but no people. The sky was black, and a haze hung low over the buildings. Looking up, I couldn't see the tops of any of the buildings. The atmosphere was oppressive and heavy. Once or twice I had to stop because I couldn't stop coughing. Sometimes it was a struggle to take breaths.

Looking down, I noted that the date displayed was June. I panicked big time at this point, thinking I may have just blacked out for months or something. I haven't had a black out like that since I was a kid, honestly. Something was fucking with me, but I wasn't about to find out what, I was more concerned with finding Alex... if I could.

So, I went to the place where I figured he went. The park. There, the paths twisted unnaturally, and one of the tunnels led to the entrance, if you understand what I mean. Like, I walked in, and walking out, I ended up where I had walked in. It was incredibly strange and I just wanted to find Alex and get the hell out.

All the while, I could hear a distant voice, like a gentle laughter. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a shape move here and there. I could catch a glimpse of the color green, but like a greenish sort of seafoam color. If I turned my head, it'd be gone, but I could see these glimpses out of the corners of my eyes. It, and the weird spatial fuckery led me to the fountain, where I finally found Alex.

He wasn't doing so hot. He was lying IN the fountain, drenched from head to toe, and I saw blood coming from his left arm. When I reached down to lift him out of the water, I could see his arm was even worse than I expected. Someone had stabbed up his upper arm pretty good, and from a cursory glance I could see a number of defensive wounds on his lower arm and hands. His knuckles were also a little bloody. I sure hope he gave whoever attacked him hell.

I mustered up all my strength, lifted him over my shoulder in a fireman's carry, and made my way out of there. I could feel him shivering, and... I honestly don't know how I got out of that horrible place, but I did. I don't know if that figure that was following us was helping or hindering, but whoever or whatever they are, I managed to evade them.

I took him to the hospital and apparently the wound wasn't as bad as I thought, but he still needed it stitched up.

So, we're home now, and you bet your ass I'm not letting Alex leave the apartment. But I can't exactly stop him if I'm not here, which is where I worry. When I have to work, I can't watch him.

I may just see if I can get some PTO and cite a family emergency. I don't know. I don't really want to leave him alone. I have no idea what happened, but I'm going to try not to overwhelm him with questions. I know I'd be overwhelmed.

When he woke up he looked so ashamed. Poor guy...

Anyways, sorry that my recap isn't super detailed. I'll let you all know if I forgot anything.

~T

[corazondefae]

9-18-24: Processing

I got vaxxed twice today! Woo!

It was my first time ever getting the flu vaccine and I got the new COVID vaccine as well! I'm both hoping I have side effects so I can call out tomorrow and hoping I don't so I don't have to call out tomorrow because I need money...

I had therapy earlier today and it really got me thinking about how much my mental health truly affects my every day life.

My nervous system is trying to heal itself. I'm no longer in an environment where I have to be on edge 24/7. I'm not going into details but a year ago I experienced something very traumatic. I witnessed violence within my family and I had to keep it together as there were young kids in the house at the time.

This experience truly shattered my world. Even now, I don't know how I got through it and I'm still processing everything that happened. I took two days off of work and then went back. Sure, I was depressed and everybody could see, but I was working to distract myself from my terrible home life. Now that I've moved out with my husband I'm learning how to live instead of survive.

I'm in the process of getting an official PTSD diagnosis, which is wild to say. I always felt like I never went through "enough trauma" (whatever that means) in order to officially be diagnosed. Yes, I've experienced traumatic events in my life, but surely that doesn't mean I have PTSD...right? (Wrong!)

I'm also processing my feelings towards referring to myself as disabled. Physically, I'm mostly fine. However, my mental health really does affect my every day life and I never noticed it until recently.

My mental health has greatly impacted my nervous system, daily functioning, relationships with others, and ability to do essential tasks such as showering, going to work, completing my associate's, taking care of myself.

---

Lets go through some things my mental illnesses do for me, shall we?:

OCD - Makes me anxious every waking moment due to constant intrusive thoughts, avoidance of certain places or actions (ex: eating) due to fear of my intrusive thoughts becoming reality, avoidance of loved ones if they are dealing with something that triggers my OCD, spending up to hours cleaning and washing anything I've deemed "contaminated" (especially my hands), constant reassurance-seeking in intentional and unintentional ways all the time, a few times I've started spiraling and almost started to believe I was hallucinating an entirely different reality to the "real" one

PTSD - Anxiety in my home to the point I was taking Melatonin every night so I could leave as soon as possible in the morning, constantly being on edge to the point where the TV being too loud made me drop everything so I could check it was just the TV and not people screaming at each other, remembering traumatic situations so many times, actively triggers my OCD as well so I have obsessions related to my trauma, too anxious to do tasks even in a safe environment because I'm afraid that one day something terrible will happen which leaves me depressed as well, constant stress since the situation was never resolved, constant guilt, I still shake and my voice wavers when I talk about it

PMDD - THE IRRITABILITY AND RAGE OH MY!, constantly talking myself off the edge while in the middle of my workday, work ethic goes down significantly due to how miserable I feel, short but terrible depressive episodes starting around two weeks before my cycle, getting angry at others for no reason to the point I can't recognize myself sometimes (luckily I'm pretty good at keeping the anger in), not having motivation to do anything, have to leave work early sometimes which has wrecked my PTO

---

I think I needed to write that down so I don't feel like I'm overreacting. My pain is valid. My mental pain is valid. And it would still be valid if it didn't significantly alter my life.

I'm doing all that I can to be better. I am so much better than I was and I want to be better than I am now. But I need to allow myself to wallow in my pain as well. I cannot let it consume me but I cannot cage it either. I guess that's what I'm doing right now.

---

Other than that, today has been less productive than I wanted it to be! I still need to go grocery shopping. Too late to do that today :(

I tried doing my nails today but I tried a new method and it did NOT work out well! I'll try again on my next day off.

I leave you all with my latest obsession: Sabrina Carpenter

[bulundu]

I have a PTO day today and I am already enjoying it. I fell asleep super early (which made me mad because I could have stayed up late consequence free), so I woke up in the middle/early hours and am just chilling and having fun. It's so nice not stressing about if I end up falling back to sleep at a weird time. I do need to go to town later to buy shoes for my dress for the Christmas party tomorrow, but hey, that's not even too stressful (despite my freakishly wide feet).

I've never had a job that had a Christmas party. I'm looking forward to it. I invited my best friend as my guest, so I'll have fun no matter what. And it's at my favorite winery! But I doubt I'll drink. My friend can't and I don't want her to be the only one not drinking. I'm also so happy she's coming, because I know she loves an excuse to dress up fancy and do her makeup and she doesn't get many. This feels like such a great thing being able to share it with her.

I'm so close to my one year mark at this company. What a ride. A year ago I told the woman who initially hired me that this was the best gift I could've gotten. I should write her a letter and tell her how true that ended up being. Just feeling really grateful right now.

I'm honestly also grateful for the job I had before, even though I hated it. I met my best friend there. I haven't had a friend like this in years - if ever. And it did give me experiences that helped me with this current job. Only a few of the people I worked with are still there, but I should do something for everyone there. Maybe I'll buy a lot of treats or something for them. I don't know, something. If you have ideas, pitch them.

Just feelinf really happy about where I am, career-wise. Still anxious about that shit I said the other day, but that chick seems very chill, so eh. And if it does turn into something, hey. Everyone has coworkers they're known for not liking. Sounds like their problem. Not to be weird, but for some reason I'm so well-liked, if I don't like someone I think it "means something" to other people.

I'm also apparently not alone in these feelings, so. Justified.