#which she just cant do anymore ! and shouldnt have to do !

[candlesoul]

rambling

[rosykims]

i actually cannot believe triss didnt get that fucking kiss. i hope ava's whole engine falls out of her stupid car <3

[llitchilitchi]

:/

[lovsome]

i think im gonna ask my therapist to get me an appointment with the private psychiatrist she suggested

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[funkypurpleradiohost]

Why the fuck are they making updating my disability accommodations so long. I cant fucking get like any work done and like the earliest I can schedule a meeting to update the accommodations is more than a week away. It's only been a few weeks and I'm so behind because certain teachers refuse to adhere to my accommodations because they are being so fucking pedantic about the wording in the updated policies.

[ganondoodle]

was watching another totk video and through that found out what the reward is for completing koltins quests, honestly im not really surprised but also baffled and it really just shows, once again, that totk kinda does exactly what you shouldnt do in a sequel imo.. double down on all the bad stuff of the previous title

at this point i have talked about various problems in detail but i just keep realizing over and over just how much of the wrong lesson they seemed to take from botw, they recycled almost everything from botw by changing some paint or some words, made a giant game even bigger and filled it with boring and tedious busy work that has mediocre to insulting rewards EVEN MORE than botw

game too big and empty? make it TWICE as big, change barely anything about the map of the previous title and the new added map(s) is ONE biom that almost everywhere looks the same and even emptier with little to do

too many krogs? MAKE IT MORE and double down on the literally shit reward bc its the SAME just with one more stack of shit

too many shrines with short puzzles? ADD EVEN MORE and make them even shorter and easier to complete, alot of them not even involving a puzzle and multiple being an utterly out of place tutorial that could have been explained to you in a single text box

rewards in the overworld being mostly either a krog or a shrine which gets repetetive with shrines being ALOT and krogs being wayyy too many? add even MORE shrines and EVEN MORE krogs, but now add over a hundred of caves to it that all get repetetive after just a few of them and you only do them for a shrine or a currency you have to collect to get one cool looking but pretty bad to use armor set and a piece of cloth for your parasail that you can only use one of at the tiem and to switch have to go back to a specific NPC, theres ghost lights to collect which only serve to yet again buy one armor set from a set of NPCs and ar meaningless afterwards, the light roots dont require you to do anything but walk to them and the reward for finding them all is a "you did it" sticker that doesnt even stick (its useless)

weapons break too quickly? well make the weapons you can find even worse to force you to fuse a material to it so its at all usable BUT IT STILL BREAKS and when it does it breaks not JUST the weapon but ALSO a material, materials that you will need for now EVEN MORE EXPENSIVE armor upgrades too, weapons cannot be rewards anymore either bc they will always have to be fused with something to make them stronger bc none is strong on its own- this also applies to THE MASTERSWORD, something ALSO complained about that it still 'breaks' even after empowering it through the DLC in botw, and now it cant even BE empowered (bc no DLC) unless you fuse soemthing to it (to. the. MASTERSWORD.) EVEN THO EMPOWERIGN THE MASTERSWORD IS THE ENTIRE POINT OF ZELDAS ULTIMATELY MEANING- AND CONSEQUENCELESS SACRIFICE !!

the dungeons were to samey and simple? make them look different but keep the core structure (activate terminals in completely seperate from each other "puzzles", fight boss) while also makign them be even more skippable (climable walls, the ceiling jump ability- something the titans DIDNT have) with incredibly easy bossfights that end with an embarassing copy and paste scene that hits you over the head with long known and obvious information over and over

people didnt like how the story was so detached from everything in the present? well, make the story and the present EVEN MORE detached from anything in the present, so far in fact that there is literally no connection to it aside from zelda who is the only connective thread and is also only treated as such (she is as personality lacking as sonia as soon as shes yoinked into the past) and the suddendly and out of nowhere intruduced architecture and history that wasnt a thing in botw but is treated like it was always there

people didnt like how far botw was detached from all other zelda games? ok totk is not only FURTHER detached from those it also completely detached itself from its on predecessor :)

people didnt like the memory system? ok make it WORSE then, its a linear story now that you can ruin by seeing even one out of order, they are super short and dont give you anymore context to anythign than the things you could figure out yourself or were already told really, instead of giving you views into a characters personality you get to view a basic plot summary of a story that is so flavorless and predictable i knew what would happen from the start yet acts like its being vague and cool that i felt like i was beign treated like a literal toddler

too few enemy types? well, we will reuse the old ones EVEN MORE thant before over twice the map and the new ones that are there are either utterlly irrelevant to change up the gameplay or largely feel like the old ones just with a paint job (constructs), the griocks looked cool at first but are just a more annyoing version of the lynels (who feel like an actual duel, akin to a proper boss)

even the things that were adressed, or attempted to, didnt fully work, like the bosses ARE more unique, but also still so incredibly easy and ALSO have multiple duplicats just sitting around in the underground despite them being supposedly the root of the problems of the regions (i like refighting bosses, but id rather have a character that lets me choose ok i wann fight this one again and teleporte me into a vision or sth- also the most fun fights arent even part of it (koga) )

the rain complaint got a new effect type to counteract it, which ... doesnt work well, you need specific materials to make potions with that effect which you also need to upgrade the only armor set wit hthat effect that ONLY works once you upgrade it (i think ... i dont know how high i got it but if even the full upgraded set doesnt negate the rain effect i will not be surprised either lol) also it adds just yet another effect type that spams your inventory and you dont really need .... or i might be the only one that saw no value at all in the "attack up when hot" new type of effects bc it felt so specific and situational while also having a way better option (just make it a standard attack up thing?) at least in my eyes-

... ill stop here .... this got longer again didnt it O-o

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for "defending a pedo"

tw for pedophilia and child abuse

(⬆️ to find later)

this happened while ago

i (20F) was talking to a friend about weird life experiences. i was just returned from visiting my grandparents so i told the story about the neighbor that i had there

for context: i live in eastern europe, and for most of my childhood i lived back and forth between the city and the countryside. the countryside in the region im from and this particular village is tough. im talking no running water/ the toilet is in back yard, only one house out of 5 has an internet connection, child labour on the fields, the only school went up to only 8th grade, etc. not the most remote of villages but far far off any "modern society" standards.

during the half of the year where i was at my grandparents up until i was around 12, I had a neighbor my age that i used to play with. she was significantly poorer than us, objectively. while my grandparents allowed me to play with her, they wouldn't like me going to her house instead because of the living conditions. i have gotten fleas from her before and in general the smell and conditions. they also didn't like her because she would try to steal stuff, so i wasn't ever allowed to invite her inside, but they've gotten over this because she was just a kid. her father passed when we were young and her mother is a severe alcoholic and just an abusive monster. she was mostly taken care off by her godmother while her mother beat her, stole her allowance, sent her off to work to the neighbors and do a lot of chores kids shouldnt do etc. before you say "why didnt anyone call child protective services" read again the context this was all happening in. we did our best to help her, once i stopped going to my grandparents we'd ocasionally send her my old clothes that didn't fit me anymore bc her mother refused to buy her clothes. it was geniunely heartbreaking to see because she tried her best to be loved by her mother and to help her. trying to buy her gifts, to be obedient, to take more of the workload, etc.

as i started properly living in the city (500km away) we drifted apart heavily. we simply lived such complete different lives it was hard to talk to her about anything outside of basic niceties. i still cared about her, she is smart and geniunely pushed so hard to go to highschool in the nearest city which is 20km away despite her mother. she was always positive and optimistic and had an insane work ethic. i respected her and wished she had gotten the privilege i had of leaving the village and getting a life in the city but alas.

here's where the "conflict" is: when i was 18 (and she was too) i have heard from my grandparents that she's pregnant. they mentioned it off in passing so i asked them to elaborate bc that was complete news to me. they elaborated that when she was (i think) 17 she met this guy who was 26, they became a couple, and now they waited until she was of legal age to get married. and now she's pregnant. then they told me some stuff that happened pre-mariage, more of her mother's abuse and the likes. they also mention having met the guy and he seemed like he geniunely cared about my neighbor

i felt conflicted on this. on one hand, the age gap is fucked up plain and simple. on the other hand, she finally had her ticket to escape from her mother and her life and to move to the city and i was happy for her. on the other, being pregnant at 18 is insane to me. on the other hand, despite the grossness of the age gap, if the guy is decent its still better than what she would've dealt with if she stayed even longer with her mother. this year, while visiting my grandparents, she came over to visit with her kid and husband and we talked. she seemed geniunely happy. the guy is nice, the kid is healthy, love and pampered, and she finally has some meat on her bones and color in her face. i obviously dont know and cant know what their life is like in the privacy of their own home but compared to the girl i knew before all of this she was doing a lot better. she started a cosmotology school and is soon going to start working. im happy for her, i wish she didnt have to end up being pregnant and married at 18, but i was still happy for her.

everything i said here i told more or less verbatim to the friend i mentioned in the begining. their takeaway was that i was defending the actions of this guy, that i should be even more visibly digusted, and that i support abusive men because i didnt hate their relationship. i didnt know what to even reply to that, as they went off calling me disgusting, calling my village and culture that "allowed" this mariage to be socially acceptable "barbaric" and that i should've spoke up about it. i tried to reiterate my point and clarify that i am digusted by the age gap but the situation my neighbor in was so fucked that you couldnt really do much. they didn't reply, and i haven't heard from them since (idm, we were never really close)

but now im wonder. AITA for seeing this situation the way i do? should i have done more to help her or talk about it?

What are these acronyms?

[cycle-hit]

muu and kotoko timeline breakdown

i love this timeline its one of my favourites i think. and while its very funny theres a lot here. so.

1. "it's not my fault" vs "i think it's kotoko's fault, after all"

muu is trying not to think of herself. she is trying to shift the blame onto other people as much as possible. anything to not have to perceive herself. even for something just as simple as "people not paying attention to her"

2. "did you come all the way here just to tell me something like that?

what? what do you mean "all the way here" kotoko??? how far away is she from the other prisoners at the current moment?? shes still isolated from the other prisoners- even if its just in her cell.

3. "aren't you scared of me? next time, i might turn my fangs on you."

because muu was scared of kotoko at the beginning of milgram- and now muu isnt. what an interesting thing to say on kotokos part. this isnt even a threat. she even sounds like shes trying to warn muu, like shes trying to give muu a reason to be scared of her and avoid her. she doesnt understand why muu isnt scared anymore- because everyone should be scared of her, right? why isnt muu scared of her?

4. "why? you punish bad people, right? you're not bad."

WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE TO KOTOKOS PREVIOUS COMMENT IS THIS? IS SHE TRYING TO IMPLY THAT KOTOKO TURNING HER FANGS ON HER IS PUNISHMENT FOR KOTOKO RATHER THAN HERSELF? WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUUUUUCK. MUU YOU CANT JUST CASUALLY DROP THAT YOU KNOW HURTING THE OTHER PRISONERS OF MILGRAM IS HURTING KOTOKO TOO/IS "PUNISHING" FOR HERSELF. YOJ CANT JUST FUCKING SAY THAT HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD???? OH MY GOD.

5. "I mean, haha, you're talking like you're fine, but maybe kotoko-san is the one who shouldnt be forgiven?"

MUU YOURE GOING TO KILL HER. SHES GOING TO DIE. interesting to note that she says "youre talking like youre fine"- muu knows that kotokos in the fucking trenches, doesnt she? shes just fully going for kotokos throat here. this is going to be muu's second murder. the last part of this is also interesting, because it means that muu might not be aware of kotokos verdict- OR she fully knows and is using it against her. its. really hard to tell which makes a later part of this analysis inconvenient.

6. "are you going to bite yourself?"

foreshadowing? a lot of people think kotokos probably going to end up hurting herself between trials somehow- i wonder if this is something meant to point to it

7. "...you're good at provoking people. I hope you're not forgiven. If that happens, i'll completely crush you."

kotoko is dodging every single question muu asked her here. incredible. and also somehow admitting that everything muu has said is close enough to the truth in some amount to bury under her skin. thats devastating. what do you mean EVERYTHING muu just said is true or at least close to it.

secondly, this "threat" sucks. this is dogwater. look at the times shes threatened mikoto or kazui. theres no bite here- also, shes lying. she promised to haruka that she isnt going to hurt muu. and theres the earbud line that she blatantly states shes going to let muu off the hook, just this once.

this timeline marks the first outright lie of kotoko's that we can blatantly disprove! with evidence! the only reason she said she was going to "crush" muu was for muu to leave her alone, to try and make muu scared of her again. also kotokos just pathetic in this entire timeline in general, holy shit. i wonder if its the guilty verdict weighing down on her or if its just because shes too "weak" towards the younger members of milgram like muu

third- does kotoko...not know muu's verdict? what does she mean if muu isnt forgiven? she was easily aware of everyones verdict in trial 1, and she should know muu's t2 verdict based off of her conversation with haruka. is she just feigning ignorance here? why? is she in denial of muu's verdict? concealing muu's verdict for muu's sake?

or- do kotoko and muu really not know each others verdicts? interesting!

[eirian]

yall ready for a gender journey post..

so yall could probably guess i grew up a cis girl. i didnt start questioning my gender until high school after i broke up with my first boyfriend which kind of freed me up to explore my identity as my own person for the first time. around age like 16 was when i first started identifying as trans, and at the time that meant a binary trans guy

after a couple years of getting comfortable exploring my gender i decided hey maybe im actually not a binary trans guy but instead nonbinary. still transmasc and guy leaning but not quite all the way anymore. this became a trend for the next loooong while, getting closer to the androgynous part of the spectrum as time went on

then in recent years (maybe about 5 years ago ish) i started to lean more towards femininity. this is significant for me because growing up i was always opposed to it--i hated wearing dresses, i hated putting on makeup, anything "girly" appalled me and i didnt know why. i ended up thinking its because i WASNT a girl, and thats why i was so uncomfortable with everything to do with being a girl. i rejected it so hard because it just wasnt me.

after living with eden for a while i got even more comfortable exploring the feminine part of myself. i started wearing dresses and skirts and actually ENJOYED it; i started painting my nails and wearing earrings again; i even grew my hair out to my shoulderblades (yeah thats where its at now LOL). ive even started using she/her alongside they/them. and im actually enjoying these things??? it feels like after all these years im finally able to reclaim them because i feel like im finally able to be comfortable with my gender--how my gender feels to ME, not to everyone else.

that was the problem when i was growing up--i was trapped in everyone else's perception of my gender and what it "should" be. i was trapped into a box that was made by everyone else's idea of what i SHOULD look like, what i SHOULD wear, what i SHOULD act like, etc. and it took me until age 26 to fully realize that my gender is what i want it to be, not what everyone else wants.

i dont have to be a guy to want facial hair and a flat chest and a low voice. loving pink and dresses and cute things and makeup and jewelry doesnt inherently mean im a girl. pronouns, features, clothes, even names dont inherently mean youre one gender or another. your gender is defined by you and only you and nobody should be able to put you into a box and define your gender for you.

..having said all this, im starting to explore my gender further, and im slowly coming to the POSSIBLE conclusion that i might come back around to being cis (albeit gnc). nothing would really change about me except the label tbh. if i do end up coming to that conclusion i will be very bummed about leaving the trans community, but i wont feel any less attached to it, as ive spent literally half my life as part of it. i understand what its like to be trans and to love myself as my most authentic self, and thats why im considering this possiblity!

identifying as a lesbian kind of pushed me in this direction as well--i cant remember the last time i felt truly comfortable and happy with a label regarding my orientation.. like ya damn. maybe i am a girl who likes girls LOL. it just feels right and natural for me personally??? its crazy. i love women. if youre a woman i love you no matter the flavor. i love my wife more than all of you though sorry <3

but god please dont take this as me being like "oh trans people just need to get comfortable with their gender and theyll realize theyre cis" that is a bullshit take and i am not saying that. this is strictly my own experience and journey! i am 100% not speaking for every trans person and you shouldnt either.

but ya. dan cis era???? we'll see. no official statement just yet but i just wanted to let yall know where im at in my ~gender journey~. until i confirm anything please still view me as a nonbinary girlthing! <3

[basilpaste]

hey hey do yall want my incoherent classpect rambles for the isat cast that i wrote while half asleep at 2 am?? too late!!!

odile is a heart player. 'oh but basil!! shouldnt she be a mind player or something?' no. the core of her character is her identity and lack thereof. shes intelligent and strong willed and has an innate understanding of many things. she cares for others deeply in a way she keeps close to her chest. mage of heart? she understands people but feels separate from them. i think her repeatedly almost clocking siffrin is also something that feels right for a mage of heart. despite sharing a classpect with meulin, shes less of a leijon heart player and more of a dirk one. if that makes sense.

mira is a maid of hope. this is an easy one. she could also be breath, i also see breath, because… change. but her character is so tied to the idea of hope that its gotta be. other peoples hope for her, the pressure she puts on herself because of that, that stuff. shes a maid not just for the housemaiden thing but because maids are 'fixers'. it ties nicely into her quest to save her home and also the fact that shes the only one who can. i also think her lack of belief in herself is a very 'hope' thing. jake is a pretty prime example of a hope player who doesnt hold hope for themself as much as for others.

i!!!! like mind player isabeau!!!! i think odile heart and isa mind is very good!!! im thinking heir of mind isa. heirs are passive which works well with isa being the character who gives the team the most buffs! heir of mind reads 'im going to weaken my enemies and bring up my team' to me. hes a smart guy. he knows hes smart. even when he lets people walk all over his intelligence. hes shockingly bad at handling his own emotions despite being good with other peoples. hes a loyal and trusting guy who often finds himself lost within the gap between who he is and who hes perceived as.

bonnies a range player. thumbs up. anger and fear are their driving forces for a lot of the game. theyre deeply emotional at the best of times. theyre a kid with a lot on their plate. this makes sense. i kind of like rogue of rage for them? their feelings tend to instill emotion within the rest of the party. even the idea of them being hurt drives a protectiveness in the adults. in the same way, they can steal away peoples emotion and mellow them out by being the most emotional person in the room.

also i like the symmetry of two aspect pairs with sif being alone. which leads me to:

sif is a time player. an argument could be made for him being a space player. but they are a time player because of the fucking. time loops they manifested for themself. sifs a knight. hes a knight of time. yes like dave strider but also because they are. every action they take is for their family. the time loop they stick themself in is because he wants to continue to be with them. knights serve. they push away their own thoughts and feelings for the sake of protecting those they feel an obligation towards. get back to the stage, siffrin.

loop is also a knight of time! hope this helps!! but theyre an arguably less stable knight? their influence in the story is mostly from the sidelines. they dont have control over anything anymore. they watch as the same thing happens over and over and over again. i think that seeing that and knowing that you not only caused it but you cant directly do anything to stop it is the worst punishment a knight could possibly receive.

[the-kitty-hell-system]

so you're a little person with did, scolosis, lung cancer, npd, paraplegia, brain damage, vEDS, blindness, deafness and ''many more'' but you're somehow able to type coherently and use social media, attend school and survive this long. yeah, okay, sure jan. i'm sensing another hiv-living type of pretending in the works, and that's not even touching on the transfem intersex poly muslim lesbian stuff. get a job.

yk i shouldnt really be answering this because youre obviously just wanting my attention but whatever your logic is dumb as hell 1. im not in school anymore. i actually had to get out because of my disabilties and a personal situation happening. i also had accomodations BECAUSE IM DISABLED. 2. you can.. have multiple disabilities. idk if you knew that.. but mental illness and physical disabilities are common with eachother. also, many genetic conditions run in my family, both my parents are disabled. the conditions i have cause other conditions. or the injuries i had caused multiple effects. 3. ive said this many times on my blog but i dont.. talk coherently? my caregiver helps me type and communicate because shes also my interepter. i sign to her, she types what i signed. also, i have multiple ways to help me nagivate my disability online. i have cochelar implants that allow me to hear my screenreader, allowing me to know what others are saying. i also use a braille keyboard (i dont use it often though because yk, my caregiver often types for me) 4. ive also mentioned this several times in my blog, but im not expected to live long?? like... i am dying. youre acting like im not. i was born with vEDS, i was diagnosed with cancer later in life. 5. ah yes you cant be all those things at once. it isnt like that doesnt make sense. yes... you can be intersex. and polyamorous. and a lesbian. and transfem. and muslim. my religion, gender, and identity are not things you can just say im lying about LMAO??? like ohh noo you have too many labels you cant have that many youre faking like literally nobody in the real world really cares. i have partners who love me very much! which if youre so miserable to go ask a disabled people and fakeclaim them for literally no reason, then... thats on you! anyway, this is really fucking stupid. stop fakeclaiming disabled people, if you seriously have a problem with my blog just block me and move on. it isnt my job to cater to you fuckface. you dont know my life and i dont know you, so shut the fuck up? "get a job" i think you forgot to realize im disabled, im physically unable to work. im under full care of two caregivers for a reason? i cant do a lot, honestly. its why im on social media so often because its something i can do, even if i do need help to use it. leave me tf alone, just because im disabled doesnt mean i dont have a life and feelings and thoughts. theres a reason i say "many more" because i dont want to be fakeclaimed just because im disabled and i have a lot of problems. im severely disabled, if you cant handle that, then leave.

[certifiedgoofball]

a rant about how fucking ANNOYING my ex was when it came to my npd (even though HE HAD BPD HIMSELF) ok so first off, he was the one to help me realize i probably had bpd. and it was NICE because i was figuring things out abuot myself and i felt like i could talk to him and i was being really open. but after a bit i started feeling weird with the label, and i was noticing that i had a lot of symptoms that didnt match up with bpd, so i started researching other pds, which led me to NPD. but i had a lot of internalized ableism around the idea. so i pushed it inside myself and bottled it up, until i saw something frmo someone with NPD that i related to so deeply that i couldnt push it down anymore so i started doing more research on npd and looked at experiences from people with npd. and it made sense! it made so much sense and looking through tumblr seeing stuff from ppl with npd that were proud of their npd and were open about it and were so similar to me made me happy. so i decided to tell my boyfriend, because he was, yknow, my BOYFRIEND, and i felt i could trust him. i tell hiim that i think i might have it. at the time i was like 99% sure. and the first thing he says is i probably dont because im "too nice" and that hes SCARED. of my fucking personality disorder. which doesnt help my internalized ableism at fucking ALL. but i put it off im like whatever okay hes an anxious person its fine. but no, it just keeps going. he starts to talk about how he thinks his terribly abusive mother has npd. about how he has so much trauma over the term and how his mother is such a terrible narcissist abuser and how he still believes in narc abuse to an extent. and im like, what the fuck? listening to the things hes saying his mom doesnt even seem like a narcissist. she just seems like a regular fucking abuser. but no, of course, tell this to your boyfriend that confided in you about a terribly stigmatized disorder he thinks he might have, because of course thats good (sarcasm). and then he tells me that whenever i talk about npd i trigger him and i shouldnt talk about it so much. i shouldnt talk about my fucking PERSONALITY DISORDER. the disorder that makes up my whole personality, the one that affects the way that i think and view the world and others. but no, of course, youre allowed to talk about your bpd as much as you want, but i cant talk about my npd. (sarcasm again). if you cant handle me talking about it, imagine what its like to fucking LIVE IT. to have a disorder that everywhere i go there comes up shit about how every pwnpd is a terrible abuser and they dont deserve respect, and then i confide in my fucking BOYFRIEND about it, because i TRUST him, and i just get more stigma thrown back at my fucking face. this one is just kind of annoying and not like objectively bad, but i show them this meme one time thats like "what to do to all narcissists: tell them theyre always right" and they respond like "uhm ackshually.... its harmful to feed into their ego and tell them theyre right when they arent" LIKE I FUCKING KNOW YOU IDIOT!!! i know im not always going to be right! i know that!!!! and then they talk about how they arent comfortable when i ask for supply because they dont want to fucking "feed my ego" like what the fuck!!!! what the fuck is wrong with you!!!! and they would get fucking upset when i headcanoned a character to have npd. like what the FUCK is wrong with you. ughh!!!!!! god. they make me so angry!!!!

[sophieinwonderland]

i think what you said in response of the evil post is super important. i think its simply unsafe to say "you shouldnt judge a persons morals you should only judge their actions" like anon implied (how i viewed it). but where you said you have to take both into account.

people do stuff that can come across as good all the time but is actually bad. thats how some people fall into being bigots! they agree with the basic dogwhistle which opens them up to the rest.

also morals can be worked on and change. they arent a basic human trait that you shouldnt judge them for because they cant change. they are opinions.

also from what i remember this evil thing is talking about aspen? (sorry if im wrong i dont wanna rewrite this whole ask) aspens moral opinion is that endogenic systems are not real systems and are harmful to DID. before she does any action i think thats bad. i often dont care if someone is actively anti endo or not. i dont like them! i judge them for their moral opinion!

the idea that you shouldnt judge people for their morals just comes across as people trying to get you to respect their bigoted ideas. comes across as "well thats my opinion so you have to respect that!" and no thanks

For me, it's more that I see morals as things that guide actions, hence why morals can be bad.

aspens moral opinion is that endogenic systems are not real systems and are harmful to DID.

I actually don't think this is a moral opinion. It's just an opinion. It's a false belief and a misunderstanding of facts. A moral opinion is going from this false premise to "therefore it's okay to cyberbully endogenic systems."

One thing I don't want to do is say that a person is bad simply because of a misunderstanding or lack of knowledge. Because sometimes people can be misled on matters of facts.

My main problem with Aspen and her kind isn't merely the lack of understanding of endogenic systems or complete and utter ignorance of plural history.

My main problem with Aspen and her kind is their clinging to ignorance as an excuse to justify hate and bullying.

And in my opinion, Aspen's false beliefs aren't actually totally authentic. I think some people start with the premise of "I want to bully and abuse people but I need socially acceptable targets to go after so people will still support me."

It feels to me that this is also true for a lot of other endophobes. They're intentionally going after a community who lack widespread societal support or institutional power because we make easy targets. They're so resistant to new information that contradicts their worldview because if that worldview was contradicted, then they wouldn't have that justification to hurt people anymore.

[pastanest]

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to the very lovely friends who have relentlessly sifted through tumblr archives to recover them, thank you all so much!! ♡

Draco x non-house-specific she/her!reader

Avada Kedavra

The walls of the Malfoy Manor used to be a safe haven for you, it was once home to your second family, belonging initially to the love of your life: Draco Malfoy. However, being trapped inside these walls now, suddenly every room you’re dragged through is more daunting than the last. Temporary relief floods through you as Bellatrix LeStrange releases her firm grip on your hair and flings you onto the dark oak floor, where your crumbled form seeks a brief moment of rest. Using the little strength you have left, you lift your head from the ground just enough to gaze over the family that loved you once upon a time. Lucius and Narcissa share the same vacant expression in the presence of Bellatrix, but the sadness in their eyes is something they cant hide from you. When your eyes land on Draco, your heart leaps with an unimaginable and unrealistic hope. His countenance reads as one of sadness and sympathy, but not for the right reasons. He doesnt recognise you enough for this to pain him anymore than seeing a wounded stranger, and you are so, so glad of that.

“Where did you find her?” Narcissa questions her sister Bellatrix, her voice wavering ever so slightly.

Given the sacrifices you made for their son, both Narcissa and Lucius tried to help you hide from this fate, but they knew as well as you did that they were just putting off the inevitable. They felt it was the least they could do after what you did for Draco; if they had done anymore for you, which they offered to do, they would have been killed themselves, and you couldnt let that happen.

“Stupid girl was out looking for food! She was covered in mud and leaves, like the disgusting creature that she is, but I followed her back to the cave she’d been hiding away in! What do you think Draco?” Bellatrix teases.

Draco frowns at her. “What am I supposed to think? You’ve tortured a seemingly innocent girl and brought her here, for what reason?”

Bellatrix cackles in response, twiddling her wand in her hands. “The Dark Lord wants you to prove your devotion, all you have to do is kill her.”

Draco’s eyes widen, and he holds your gaze for a moment. “Why do I have to kill her, out of every other student I attended school with?”

Lucius places a hand on his son’s shoulder. “Now, Draco, you shouldnt question the Dark Lord.”

Although that is true for Draco and his family, you know that isnt the reason Lucius interjected. The less Draco questions, the less he knows. He’s trying to protect his son, just like you are.

~

Your knees bounced beneath your interlocked hands as you sat on a chair, directly opposite Lucius Malfoy.

“You did that…for the sake of my son? Even knowing what your own fate will be, regardless?” Lucius questioned in disbelief.

You nodded. “It was the least I could do. I dont wish to make any foolish efforts to save myself, but I will do everything in my power to save him.”

Lucius leant forward to take ahold of your hand. “Thank you, thank you so much. I cannot tell you what this sacrifice means to both Narcissa and I.”

You managed a weak smile. “Please, dont thank me. What I’ve done doesnt deserve any form of gratitude. Draco can never find out what happened tonight, promise me you wont tell him.”

Lucius nodded firmly. “I promise you, he will remain naïve of your brave efforts to protect him.”

Narcissa entered the room then, after tending to the unconscious Draco for a few minutes since you arrived with him. Lucius stood to his feet and approached his wife, leaning close to her to whisper in her ear, and you watched tears fill Narcissa’s eyes as she stared at you.

“But (Y/N), you made our son so happy, he was the happiest we had ever seen him whenever he was with you!” She pleaded.

Lucius wrapped an arm around her waist. “It’s to protect him, Narcissa, she did the impossible to keep him safe.”

And with that, you rose to a standing position, not wanting to dwell on the explanation of your actions any longer. “The sleeping charm I cast on him will wear off soon enough, I’ll be making my leave now.”

Before you left, Narcissa pulled you into a wordless embrace. Words werent needed for you to know you were feeling the same agony of the loss of the boy you had come to know.

~

“Who else would match the devotion of killing your darling?” Bellatrix snickers, spitting the petname he frequently called you.

In response, Draco raises an eyebrow, almost cockily. “I dont have a darling, Bellatrix, I havent the slightest idea what you’re talking about.”

No, no, dont try to outsmart her, dont! You plead with him inside your head, and attempt to use your eyes to beg him not to take this further, but he simply winks at you. He thinks he’s found a loophole, a way to control this situation, but the panic on both Narcissa’s and Lucius’ faces as they stand behind him says otherwise.

“Dont play dumb with me, boy, you’ve been all over this girl for the past four years! Acting like you dont know her, gosh, that really is cruel, how could you do that to her?” Bellatrix sneers.

Draco laughs at her, and you want to clamp your hand over his mouth to prevent him from ruining everything, but you dont even have the strength to pull yourself to your feet.

“I can assure you, if this girl had any involvement with me, I would not shy away from admitting that. This girl, I think her name is (Y/N), and all I know of her is that we had potions class together, and occasionally spoke when we were partnered by Snape, but I have no further knowledge of who she is, none whatsoever. Killing her would mean nothing to me.” Although Draco only said that last sentence to protect you, in the hopes of Bellatrix realising she’d made a mistake and then releasing you and finding another soul to subject to Draco’s mission instead, his words hurt, and that is your own fault.

~

“Darling, please, talk to me! What’s made you cry like this!?!” You pleaded with Draco as you held his broken form in your arms, his body heaving with dry, painful sobs as you two laid on your bed.

“He’s going to make me kill you, (Y/N), I cant do it, I cant! I cant live without you!” Draco cried, his arms tightening around you as he buried his face further into the crook of your neck.

Your fate should be inevitable, but it hangs in the balance. Either your death will completely destroy Draco, or he wont be able to kill you, and he’ll be murdered as punishment. It was in that moment, you realised that you had to save Draco from this horrible fate altogether.

~

“Draco, stop it!” Narcissa hisses.

“No, Mother, I wont! Bellatrix appears to be under the impression that there is someone outside of my family who actually means something to me, for that she is a fool, and deserves to be made aware of it.” Draco scolds his aunt.

Bellatrix suddenly points her wand at Draco, and performs a charm that you recognise to be a truth-telling charm.

“Now tell me, Draco, do you know this girl?” Her eyebrow is raised as she continues to hold her wand, pointed at her nephew.

“How many times do I have to say this before you get it through your head? I barely know her!” Draco retorts in annoyance, and Bellatrix lowers her wand, releasing him from the hold of the charm.

For a few moments which, in your head, equal the length of a lifetime, Bellatrix paces the floor behind you, before shoving you onto your back and snatching your wand.

“Let’s have a look at the last spells this filthy mudblood performed.” Bellatrix giggles to herself as she examines your wand.

You lay silent on the floor, your eyes staring off into nothing as tears begin to blur your vision, but you dont speak a word. Some desperate part of your mind is so sure that if you dont give yourself away, Bellatrix will never find out the truth.

A shriek erupts from Bellatrix, causing your body to jolt in shock before her boot makes harsh contact with your stomach.

“This disgusting wretch used obliviate on Draco! How pathetic!” She cackles menacingly, and your eyes close in a pained blink.

“Im sorry.” You manage to utter to the Malfoys, your split lip bleeding with your attempts to speak.

“What!?!” Draco barks, eyes wide in shock as he stares own at you.

“Well, we’d better do a simple reverse spell with her wand to make things right, or this wont be any fun at all!” Bellatrix concludes.

“No!” You cry out, your composure gone as you launch yourself in front of Draco, hoping to deflect the spell, but Bellatrix grabs you and locks an arm around your neck, holding you in place as she aims your wand at her nephew.

Draco’s gaze flickers between his parents and you, beyond confused as to what is happening around him. The memory of the last time you saw confusion so deeply set in his eyes haunts you as your body is rigid under Bellatrix’s grasp.

~

“I love you, Draco, and I am so, so sorry.” You whispered into his hair as he continued to sob in your arms.

“I-I love you too.” Draco uttered in reply, and you closed your eyes tightly, fighting back tears as you realised this would be the last time you heard him say those words to you.

As discretely as you could manage, you lifted your wand, and with Draco’s face hidden in your neck, he was completely unaware of what was about to happen to him. You sniffled, and Draco’s arms tightened around yours.

“Hey, dont cry, i-it’s alright, w-we’ll figure something out, like we always do!” Draco tried to ease your nerves, but little did he know his efforts were in vain.

With shaking hands, you pointed your wand to Draco’s head, and muttered the most destructive word you had ever heard yourself say.

“Obliviate.”

Silence fell as Draco’s sobs came to an abrupt halt. You sat up, and forced Draco to do the same. He was in a daze, and the confused expression on his face with tears still staining his cheeks was a sight that fractured your heart completely. Lifting your wand once more, you cast a sleeping charm, before you allowed yourself to burst into tears, clutching his unconscious body close to yours for the last time.

~

“No! Dont hurt him like this, please!” You scream with everything you have, desperately thrashing your body, kicking against Bellatrix until she lets you go, and you stumble over to Draco, collapsing against his form.

You wrap your arms around him protectively, squinting your eyes shut and bracing for impact, hoping the spell will somehow miraculously hit you instead, willing to believe that just you holding him will be enough to protect him. Draco grabs your arms and gently pushes you away from him, holding you at arms length to stare into your eyes, a frown set deep on his face.

“What’s going on, (Y/N)?” He asks you, an almost begging tone to his voice as he searches your eyes for an explanation.

Your lips part, but before you can utter a word, Draco’s body stumbles backwards as the memories of the last four years of his life spent with you come crashing down on him like a tonne of bricks, almost sending him to the floor if it werent for his parents holding him steady. Looking over your shoulder, you see Bellatrix with a dark smirk on her face.

“(Y/N)?”

Goosebumps ripple all over your skin at the sound of him saying your name, with the endearing tone he always used whenever speaking to you, the tone that he had forgotten existed until now. You turn back to him, and the look in his eyes tears you apart. There’s so much love, an endless amount of almost child-like joy at him finally being able to see you as more than the classmate you were to him mere moments ago. He approaches you, his hand slowly reaching for your face as his body towers over you, and when his delicate touch meets your bruised cheek, tears begin to cascade down your face. Draco’s eyes soften, and he pulls you into his warm, all-too-familiar embrace, one that you wish you could reject, but there’s no possible way you ever could.

“Why did you do it?” Draco asks you in a hushed voice, pulling away from you slightly so that he can read your face.

You sniffle and wipe your eyes. “To save you. I knew that my death would either destroy you, or you wouldnt be able to do it, and that would cause your death. The only thing I could do was erase every memory of us from your mind, so that you could end my life, without it killing you. And if you hadnt been your usual smug self, it would have worked.“

Draco chuckles as tears prick his eyes. “Well, for once Im actually proud of being a smug arsehole.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Why?“

Draco smiles down at you, his thumb gently caressing your cheekbone. “Because in whatever sense it may be, a life without you by my side is not a life worth living.”

You sniffle and shake your head at him. “Dont, please, dont ever say that.”

Draco’s expression hardens. “It’s the truth.” He suddenly pushes you behind him, his eyes fixed on Bellatrix as he pulls out his wand. “Either we both live, or we both die, which will it be?“

"Draco!!” His parents shout in outrage, but Bellatrix giggles in response to his words, and paces in front of him menacingly.

“You’d rather die for that filthy mudblood than live to serve the Dark Lord?” She presses, almost as though she wants him to reiterate his point, just to be sure.

“The only way I’ll serve him is if (Y/N) remains alive and by my side, if that cant happen, then kill me.” Draco explains.

Without hesitation, you take ahold of his hand and stand beside him, looking up at him with fire in your eyes.

“Kill both of us, or neither.” You add, a fierce expression as your eyes lock on the evil witch herself.

Bellatrix cackles so hard that she throws her head back, but she regains her composure to shrug at the two of you. “Well, that’s quite alright, as killing one of you will kill the other anyway!“

Yours and Draco’s eyes widen in alarm as Bellatrix lifts her wand one final time.

"Avada Kedavra!”

Shoving Draco to the side, expecting her to aim the curse at you, you close your eyes and brace for impact. But when nothing hits you, and a devilish shriek fills the room as Bellatrix disapparates out of the room, you open your eyes to see Draco lying on the floor beside you, colour rapidly draining from his face as his parents kneel at his side.

“No, NO!” You scream, falling beside him and kissing his face, grabbing his hands, clinging to him desperately.

Without thinking it through, you grab his wand, and try to perform healing spells on him, but Draco wraps his hands around yours.

“It’s alright darling, you cant stop this.” His expression contorts in pain, and it becomes clear to you that holding on for as long as he has after that spell, is agony for him.

“No, you cant die, no, please, dont go! I cant lose you again, please!” Your sobs wrack through your body, your mind spinning as your heart pounds inside your chest.

With eyes wide like a deer in headlights, you turn to Lucius. “Is it possible for a wizard to perform the killing curse on themselves?”

Lucius frowns at you sadly. “In some extreme cases, it has been proven possible, but the spell requires more than just a desire to kill, there has to be a strong feeling behind it.“

You look back down at Draco. “That wont be a problem.”

Draco holds your hand as you lift his wand to your temple. “(Y/N), dont.”

You shake your head. “You said it yourself, we both live, or we both die. Im about as prepared to live in a world without you as you would be to live in one without me: which is not prepared at all.”

Draco nods, accepting defeat, one of his hands still clinging to yours with the small amount of life he has left.

“Goodnight, love.” He whispers to you with his last breath.

You lean down to kiss his lips softly. “See you soon, my angel.”

Sitting up, you stare at his grief stricken parents, and give them a kind smile.

Lucius struggles to hold back his tears. “You saved our son, without you, he wouldnt have had the strength to resist the way he did for so many years of his life. Thank you.“

Narcissa sniffles. "We love you, (Y/N), and we’re proud to call you a Malfoy.”

Your smile widens at their kind words. “I love you both, too. Thank you for everything. Goodbye.“

Narcissa falls against Lucius’ chest. “Goodbye, (Y/N).”

Averting your eyes, your gaze drifts back to Draco, and you smile gently at him as you lift his wand to your temple. You know that, when this spell is used, it is most commonly out of hatred, meaning that it is shouted out of anger. However, your death is not going to be out of anger, it is out of love, which is a feeling more powerful than hate could ever be, and for that reason, you can make this unforgivable curse, peaceful. Closing your eyes, with a smile still on your face and your free hand holding Draco’s, you carefully whisper the words that you once feared, but now welcome with open arms. And as soon as the words fall from your lips, the lonely world around you falls, too, into a blissful darkness, until it ceases to be.

[fanaticbitchhh]

cant remember to forget you

pairing: shane hawkins x oc (juniper grohl)

year: 2022 (before taylor passed)

warnings: underage drinking, party, kissing, idk if theres anymore

a/n: this is based off of the song cant remember to forget you by shakira ft. rhianna so i suggest listening to it while you read if you wanna

juniper woke up to her head pounding and light flooding in from her open window. she groaned as she stood up, closing her curtains before getting changed into a more comfortable outfit rather than her previous dress she wore to the party.

she made her way downstairs, a firm hand on her forehead as if it helped the pain. it did not. alas, she didnt care. she trudged grumpily into the kitchen where she grabbed a glass and filled it with water. she made her way back upstairs to the bathroom where her family kept the tylenol.

she popped two tylenols in her mouth and, with a grimace, swallowed them while taking a sip of her water. she walked back to her bedroom, flopping on her bed as she tried to remember a single thing from last night. eventually, she got annoyed with trying and decided to call her best friends annabelle and haven.

“hello?” haven and annabelle said simultaneously.

“hi.. uh i cant remember anything from last night.” juniper sighed while her two bestfriends laughed.

“i told you not to drink so much!” annabelle exclaimed, while haven was still laughing.

“yeah well.. i did. and i need your help.” juniper grimaced, she hated asking for help.

“with what?” haven asked. “when did the alcohol start fucking with you?”

“uhh i was about 3 drinks in” juniper said.

“well, you danced a lot. so nothing that new” annabelle laughed.

“what else?” juniper bit her lip, hoping she didnt do anything irrational.

“you kissed my brother.” annabelle said.

“fuck.” juniper muttered.

she ended the call after thanking them and put her head in her hands. how could i be so stupid? i knew i shouldnt have gone to the party. she thought. the faint memories of last night were coming back to her.

flashback

she danced on the dancefloor to maneater by nelly furtado. she hadnt a care in the world, she was just happy to be there. before long, the music cut off because the party host had an announcement.

“uh, we’re gonna do truth or dare in the other room so if you wanna join, you can” the girl stated, she was swaying and slurring her words.

juniper shrugged, joining the group in the dining room. she sat in the circle that was created, sitting in the middle of annabelle and haven. it wasnt long before her name was called.

“juniper. truth or dare?” a guy asked, her eyes wouldnt focus on the boy.

“mmh, dare” she smirked, she felt like being mischievous tonight.

“i dare you to… do seven minutes in heaven with a person of your choice.” the guy chuckled with his other friends, obviously expecting it to be him.

she stumbled over to a drunk shane and pulled him up from the circle, walking to a closet that the boy begrudgingly told them to go into.

shane and juniper shared a small laugh, looking into each others eyes.

“you dont have to kiss me if you dont wanna.” she slurred, just because she was drunk doesnt mean she didnt want the boy to feel comfortable.

“no, its okay” he smiled back. “is it okay? if i kiss you?”

“more than okay.” she smiled, as they both leaned in.

they shared a small kiss, which left them both a blushing mess. they kissed once more before the door had bursted open. the seven minutes was officially over, yet it didnt feel like seven minutes.

she waved to shane, explaining that she was going to get a drink. before she could grab her drink, her sister, violet, burst into the kichen. violet dragged her out of the party and into her car, before giving juniper a lecture on how she should tell her where she was going.

end of flashback

she gasped, embarrassed of the memory. not because of the kiss with shane, but because she actually had the guts to do it. she just hoped shane didnt remember, since her, shane and the foo’s kids would be meeting up today. hoping to arrive at 7pm, but she knew she'd probably be a bit late.

she sighed as she realised she would have to pick an outfit out. she walked to her closet, picking up a long-sleeved black and grey striped shirt, some grey cargo pants, her chunky doc martens and a light grey zip-up hoodie. she put a necklace on, a few rings and changed her piercings over, she grabbed her small backpack.

she walked downstairs, realising that her dad, dave, hadn't gone shopping recently she decided to go and get snacks and cherry coke from the 7/11, she picked her skateboard up and headed out of the door. she put her belongings in her bag and made her way out of her front gate.

when she closed the gate behind her, she sped off down the road, taking the necessary turns to get to the 7/11. after 25 minutes, she had brought her snacks and drinks and rolled up to her house and walked in the front door, leaving her skateboard propped up next to harpers.

she walked in the living room.

“sorry im late” she sighed, sitting on the couch.

“no different than usual” violet joked.

“watch it vi” juniper chuckled.

violet put her hands up in fake surrender while laughing. everyone got to talking to eachother but she just couldnt stop thinking of the kiss from last night. juniper shook the thoughts from her head and tried her best to join in the conversation.

without realising it, she kept staring at shane, hoping he did feel the same as her and didnt kiss her just because he was drunk. her mind was filled with overthinking, she just couldnt stop no matter how hard she tried.

she eventually shook it off, going to the kitchen for a drink and heading to the garden, hoping to get her mind off shane. she knew there was no point in trying, the thought would pop back up just as she was about to go to sleep tonight. she heard the patio door open and close, she felt a presence behind her and turned around.

she gasped quietly as she saw who towered over her, to nobody's surprise it was shane. he sat quietly next to her, fiddling with the rings on his fingers. she could tell shane was nervous, it was practically written on his face.

"uh.. how are you?" he asked awkwardly.

"im.. okay, you?" juniper replied, hesitating a bit.

"i just wanted to talk to you.. about last night." he stated, looking in her eyes.

"oh.. what about it?" she said, acting clueless and hoping he forgot about the kiss they shared the previous night.

"the kiss?" he said, but it sounded more like a question.

juniper quickly blushed a deep red, thinking he probably regretted it.

"im sorry, by the way." she said, scratching the back of her head slightly.

"why're you sorry? i never said i didnt like it." he chuckled.

"well i just assumed you didnt like it, or want it.. i thought you were just drunk and.. i dont know" she shrugged, blushing from shane's obvious flirting.

"well, for the record, i did like it and i did want it. and i wouldnt be opposed to doing it again." he admitted.

"you want to do it again?" juniper asked, a sparkle in her eye from excitement.

"if you want to.." he said.

"of course i want to" juniper smiled.

shane put his hand on her cheek, juniper shivering from the coldness of his rings and his piercing gaze. she smiled slightly as she leaned in, as did shane. when their lips met, they both felt like fireworks were going off inside. they stayed like this for around 20 seconds before pulling apart, much to juniper and shane's dismay.

"so.. what would this make us?" juniper asked.

"anything you want, although i'd love to be your boyfriend if you'd let me" he smiles.

"i wouldnt mind that.." she giggles, blushing slightly.

"then its settled.. we're a couple" he smiles.

what they didnt know, was that annabelle, violet and harper were watching and giving eachother high fives. even more of a surprise was when dave and taylor were watching from dave's balcony, taylor giving dave a 20 dollar bill while dave chuckled.