#and the funny thing is things like this where people acknowledge that im struggling but proceed to say nothing about it keep happening

[ouchhq]

i think im gonna ask my therapist to get me an appointment with the private psychiatrist she suggested

[gilliontidestriderchampionoftheu]

anyways. sillay animatic!!!

[possessionisamyth]

okay, hi, im back extremely briefly but just hear me out this time!!!

So pre-time skip Sanji goes up to Usopp and asks the age old question "how did you know you were trans?" At first, Usopp's hackles go up for a split second. She hasnt been able to physically transition anything, just socially, and it's hard enough getting anyone outside her crew to believe her. Therefore, this does rub her the wrong way until she recognizes Sanji's tone as being genuine and not condescending. She notices the hesitancy in his posture and the concern in his eyes before she takes up her usual role of lightening the mood.

Usopp explains how it's kinda funny actually. That Ninjin from her village had a pet cat who absolutely hated all men except for Usopp. At the time, Usopp bragged about being one of the world's greatest animal tamers, but it was the hint she needed to start really looking at herself. Sanji interrupts with a hand on his chin in thought and says something like "okay, yeah, animals confirm your gender" and Usopp stops him right there. She then explains that it was actually Luffy's spiel on being themselves and following their dreams that made her take the leap with the social transitioning aspect she struggles with off of Going Merry. She asks Sanji why the question, but Sanji says he's just curious cause he's only really ever run into drag queens and Usopp was far from being the type (even if her wardrobe got a little too silly sometimes). The subject changes to ideas for dinner before Sanji walks off to do his chores. Yet, the conversation sticks in the back of Usopp's mind like a little footnote.

At some point she is able to slowly start physically transitioning, and during this she catches Sanji saying things that are just kind of strange in a familiar way. She doesn't acknowledge it though. She's honestly surprised she notices half the time considering all the other shit they got going on.

Then the group is separated, and Sanji is on drag queen island for a long time. He has a lot of talks with people that make him both extremely uncomfortable, royally pissed off, or terrified and questioning. By the time his tenure on the island starts coming to a close, Sanji faces some very hard truths about how he's treated people and how he's treated himself. So, understandably, when she shows up to meet everyone at Sabaody she's a little nervous. She doesn't let it show though. She was just happy Ivankov's kindness didn't come with a drawback. She also has a little vial for a friend with her cause like, it's easier to skip where you can right?

When she runs into Zoro and he doesn't bat an eye while they get into their angry banter, Sanji starts to relax. Everyone came back different, which means they did what they were supposed to do. Get stronger to take on the new world. She thanks the sea that she isn't attracted to any of the motley men on their ship. It was a real scare with the drag queens that she might find herself pitching for the other team after the transition, but her love for women remained in full force.

This thought occurs the exact moment she sees Usopp. Three words hit Sanji like arrows piercing through her body at the sight of Usopp, which is Strong, Busty, and Beautiful. Usopp's hair was so long now??? Did her smile get even cuter???? Why the hell was she wearing the world's tiniest crop top under those suspenders??!!???

Usopp's eyes light up with something knowing that makes the nervousness return to Sanji in droves. Then Usopp smiles and says "long time no see", and her voice?!!!! Gone is that strange warble from the lingering edge of puberty, and it's been replaced with something smoother right at the bridge between a tenor and an alto in rhythm. Sanji is GONE. She is MELTING. She is BLEEDING ALL OVER HER NICE NAVY SUIT. Oh wow, she's feeling light-headed all of a sudden. She passes out. Wakes up to see she's in Usopp's arms? Passes out. Wakes up to see she's in Usopp's arms? Passes out. Chopper realizes what the hell is happening, and Usopp is switched out for a giggling Luffy. Sanji stays conscious this time.

Fishman Island happens, and things are calmer among their crew as they leave. Well, as calm as they can get for the strawhat pirates. Usopp finally finally gets a chance to corner Sanji in the kitchen because she's excited! Shared experiences and all that jazz. Sanji is both distracted and shy because Usopp is still wearing that tiny crop top that just barely covers her assets as well as showing off her abs AND Sanji didn't think she'd have to keep talking about the transitioning thing. She thought she'd be sort of done unless she ran into someone from her past about it, but she likes listening to Usopp talk about it. While Usopp is talking about all the hurdles on the island she was stuck on, Sanji remembers the little vial she asked for from Ivankov. Sanji asks Usopp to stop mid-story and gives it to her explaining that if she ever wants to just stop taking her shots, she can have Chopper administer that. No pressure obviously. Usopp can do whatever she wants and Sanji will respect her for it.

Usopp is extremely touched by the gesture, and tells Sanji she'll have Chopper hold onto it in case she does want to just go the quick way in the future. They sit in amicable silence for a little while before Usopp narrows her eyes at Sanji and asks "wait, does it change Everything?" Sanji says it does. Usopp pointedly looks down. Sanji hunches forward. Usopp repeats, "Everything?" Sanji now red faced with embarrassment shouts, "YES! EVERYTHING!" Sanji already went through mourning the loss of being about to take a piss anywhere without a second thought before being stabbed with like ten large needles. She was used to squatting now! The bleeding on the other hand...

Usopp sets her chin on Sanji's shoulder, and Sanji looks over in time to catch the smile on her face. She thanks Sanji again, and Sanji sort of nods and hums because there's that nervousness again since Usopp is so beautiful and she's SO CLOSE TO HER. The singular not short-circuiting part of Sanji's brain does speak up as she tells Usopp she's really proud of her. That she feels kind of like she cheated being gone and going the easy route and just being able to step into something Usopp had to work for. That if their roles were switched, Sanji wasn't sure she'd ever feel brave enough to do half the stuff Usopp did to get to where she is.

And that little footnote Usopp kept in the back of her mind for a while pops up right then, so she interrupts Sanji mid-spiel to ask her "how did you know you were trans?" It's a role reversal of a conversation from what felt like so long ago. And Sanji pauses. She's quiet for a little while until she speaks up and says she got a hint for it back in Little Garden. This confuses Usopp, but Sanji continues on and explains how Usopp didn't have any trouble calling herself a girl, and after Brogy and Dorry just accepted it, how happy Usopp looked and how relaxed she was.

Sanji says she wanted that freedom. The freedom to really be herself without any strings attached, and that she envied Usopp but didn't actually understand what the emotion was until much later. To Sanji's chagrin, Usopp pulls away with a hand on her chin in thought and says "okay, yeah, giants affirm your gender". And Sanji stares at her incredulously before Usopp starts giggling. The giggling is contagious. Sanji starts laughing herself, and sure it's nearly 11 at night, but that doesn't matter. There's an understanding here. There's a love here. They'll both be moving forward on the right foot into the future.

But for now, it was time to go bed. Sanji asks if Usopp wants to shower first since she's unsure about the hot water situation. Usopp, as if she's completely forgotten who the fuck she's talking to, says they can just shower together now if Sanji wants to. It's no big deal. Sanji proceeds to start bleeding all over her nice blouse. Usopp promptly freaks out and calls Chopper. There is a long lecture about blood transfusions needing to be SPARINGLY PROVIDED WHEN SOMEONE DOESN'T HAVE A DISEASE. Usopp says they'll figure something out. (They do because the pair start dating around the middle of Punk Hazard).

[ms-all-sunday]

ive personally gotten over the flaws in sanjis articulation and i understand what i think is the intent behind his character but i remember for like months past watching one piece originally i did not get it at all (i have a semi popular post about my friend getting him immediately while shading people who don't but that's me, i was that person) and i had to play around with interpretations of him to truly settle on what i think is concretely understanding him.

the reason, partially, for my original trepidation is twofold,

one, shonen does not have a good track record.

two, more personally, it's kind of insulting to the audience to expect this character who you've established has a relationship with women that has it's pros and cons (i always go back to the arlong park articulation of zoro respecting nami enough to see her as a threat and sanji because she's a woman, willing to look past what is obviously a mental breakdown from someone whos struggling. that was like the best articulation oda couldve done it all goes downhill from there) and like fully acknowledge inherently the social injustice that women face within that, while also doing the social injustice. it's hypocritical.*

ive taken to just categorically ignoring the pervert jokes and pretending we never progressed past pre ts sanjis jokes (which by the way and i say this with every spiteful bone in my entire body, were FUNNIER. it is such a fucking crime that sanji a character that had SO many consistently funny jokes because he is an hilarious comedy character, gets absolutely no funny jokes. the most recent funny joke he's had is egghead but before that it wasn't for years that he had a funny joke.) because the good thing and also the function of the sanji jokes especially as they relate to nami is that nami can and does cushion how creepy he comes off. they are in a weird consensual heterosexual chicken game and it says something about them that they treat eachother like this. unfortunately when you reduce sanjis jokes down to pervert anime jokes you also loose their back and forth which hurts namis characterization and as i've said before. the group dynamic is everything. you cannot hurt it it is sacred or one pieces quality declines (post timeskip)

*This is also a similar way that one piece as a story treats abuse more broadly. There's this thing that I call in my head "intent is effect" logic where basically if a character had good intent dot tm they're forgiven for abuse by the narrative and their abuse is played off as a joke (garp) or you're judge (the most evilest man on the planet which btw did you know all abusers are evil and not complicated human beings /s) (do NOT interpret me as saying this as a hashtag abuse apologist thing i will kill you. i am a persona 5 fan, ideologically.) i would pretty much definitively say that uh the same logic is applied to sanjis sexual assault/harassment jokes, as they are a type of abuse. and uh that's bad. it's shitty on all accounts for sure.

although im sure id become more fuelled by rage and question the stability of my own opinions if i watched the shittier parts of post TS again, I'll eventually get there in my rewatch don't worry.

[fintan-pyren]

i feel like you’re the person to ask this

do you have screenshots of any good Fintan Quotes im making a collage playlist and would want had at least one of his quotes because i know he had a few good ones.

Oh, I absolutely do

“We both know I’m never leaving this cold, empty room with no warmth, no kindling—nothing but solid metal and fireproof clothes. A life with no heat—no fire—isn’t worth living.”

“Our world is broken, Alden—and all the Council does about it is condemn anyone brave enough to acknowledge that we have a problem. Break our minds, lock us deep in the earth, convince themselves that we are the criminals. But who are the ones ruining lives? Destroying families? Forbidding people from using their abilities, relegating them to working class—”

“Left to their own devices the Council will let everything we’ve built crumble to dust. Someone had to stand up and fight for what matters—and while I’m not the one who cast the first sparks, I am willing to help keep the flames alive.” “The flames have been extinguished!” Alden shouted. Fintan snorted a laugh. “That’s the funny thing about rebellions. You can’t stop them until they’ve consumed everything that fuels them. And from where I sit I see plenty of kindling.”

“Why?” Councillor Emery asked, his eyes focused on the Neverseen figure. “Why would you harm so many innocent gnomes?” “Because sometimes you have to let things burn to let something better rise from the ashes.”

“That’s become the elvin way, secrets and lies, while those who depend on you suffer in ignorance. But things don’t have to stay that way!”

“I’m tired of disguises,” he said. “Tired of living like I’m the one with something to hide. Tired of letting you think I fear you. I stand before you now as the future of our world, every bit as unstoppable as my flames.”

“And there we have the greatest lie of the elves,” Fintan interrupted, struggling to stand with his clunky chains. “We talk of freedom and equality—but demand authority and superiority.”

“But I won’t be silenced!” Fintan shouted. “Because the old ways are failing—and have been failing for centuries. This world doesn’t need diplomacy. It needs quick, decisive leadership from someone who offers actual solutions. Someone not afraid of making the hard choices. Someone willing to make changes.”

“They emit a unique form of bioluminescence when they bloom—a light that only exists for that rare moment in time. It doesn’t travel—it absorbs. And you can’t bottle it or preserve it. You have to be there to witness it—which I suppose is why the knowledge has been lost. No one has any patience anymore. They want what they want the second they desire it. But some of us are still willing to wait for the opportune moment.”

“I have no control over my craving for flame. Fire will always call to me—and yet I still try my best to comply with your unjust rules. I resist every call when I’m in public—no matter how great the struggle. I resigned from the Council and allowed myself to be relegated to a Talentless status. But when I’m home, in the privacy and isolation of my own property, I should have the right to be myself. I’m harming no one when I do this.”

“Am I boring you? You’re welcome to leave anytime. Or feel free to start the lecture I’ll be ignoring.”

[kurna-kovite]

Curicó - a fic, I guess

Obligatory "warning, yaoi content included!!!!! dont like don't read!!!!! " except there's no smut

-

Kaoru felt a yawn well up in his chest, a signal, a sign from his body telling him that he needed to close his eyes and go to sleep. Which was funny, because he'd been trying to do exactly that for hours now. 

He huffed in annoyance, and propped himself up on his elbows so he could glare at nothing in particular. He usually fell asleep within minutes. He's heard of people who struggle to fall asleep every night, and he considered himself lucky to not be one of those people, because this sucked. 

He blinked away the tiredness from his eyes, and with a defeated groan, he rolled over, and pulled his phone from off of his nightstand. He opened it, and squinted at the screen to check through his notifications. 

Something, something, blue light makes it harder to sleep, something, whatever. Kaoru didn't care, and hoped that a little extra stimulation would then push his brain into finally shutting itself down so he could sleep. So he scrolled through some various messages, swiping away the things he didn't particularly feel like responding to, until all that was left were videos and memes that Hikaru had sent him. 

Kaoru rested his chin down on his pillow, and opened one of the apps to scroll through what his brother had sent him. And, after a couple of quiet chuckles, he sent back a heart emoji, a way of acknowledging what Hikaru had sent him without actually trying to type out a response. After all, it's hard to find the right words to say "I really enjoyed that meme, especially the part where Walter White showed up in a completely unrelated universe". A heart emoji would do fine. 

Kaoru closed that app, thinking that that was all, but he glanced up when he saw another notification pop up from his brother. 

why r u up? 

Kaoru sighed. It's not like he chose to be. 

I could ask you the same thing

He watched as the "Hikaru is typing… " message popped up, and waited to see what the message would be, despite his fingers screaming at him to check another social media app while he waited for the few seconds it would take for his brother to answer him. 

can't sleep. u too? 

nope.  im gonna kms

noooo ur so sexy :(

Kaoru chuckled softly to himself, and buried his head into his pillow for a moment to let out a loud groan. He could feel the tiredness in his head, but he knew that as soon as he closed his eyes, he'd just want to open them right back up again. 

The entire night, he'd been debating on just biting the bullet, and going to sleep in Hikaru's room. It had been his room just yesterday. This was the first night they were sleeping in separate rooms. 

And it had been Kaoru's idea. Even when they talked after his hasty decision, he'd opted to take a separate room to help them start their journey of becoming less dependent on each other. To be honest, he was stubborn, and didn't want to face the embarrassment of being the one to go and wake Hikaru up because he couldn't sleep without him. 

But Hikaru couldn't sleep either. Kaoru chewed on his lip as he weighed his options. He could at least say that they tried to sleep separately. Maybe the solution was to slowly wean themselves off of each other instead of going cold turkey. And there was no sense torturing themselves the rest of the night when they'd sincerely done their best to go without each other. 

Maybe Kaoru was just making excuses. 

With a determined sigh, Kaoru lifted himself up from his bed, taking his phone and slipping it into the pocket of his pajama pants, before marching towards the door. 

He tiptoed out into the hallway, and quietly closed the door behind him. Carefully, he made his way down the dark hall until he reached his brothers room. Their room. 

Kaoru slowly opened the door, and looked inside just in time to see his brother turn his head over towards him. He couldn't help but smile when he saw how Hikaru seemed to perk up as soon as they made eye contact. 

"Kaoru!" Hikaru greeted excitedly, and he pushed himself up so he was sitting on the bed. His excitement eventually wavered, and he brought a hand behind his neck to rub it sheepishly as if he felt that he'd gotten overexcited at the sight of his brother. "Er… Hey."

"Hey," Kaoru chuckled in response. "Mind if I come in?"

"You'll never need to ask," Hikaru answered in a more serious tone. Kaoru furrowed his eyebrows a little when he said that. Instead of moving right away, he stayed in the doorway for a few moments, like he was absorbing Hikaru's words and deciding whether or not they were unreal, or just dangerous. In the end, he decided that neither of those things were the case, and Kaoru nodded before stepping inside and closing the door behind him. 

They had already moved Kaoru's bed out of this room, by his request, but Hikaru's bed was plenty big enough for the both of them. Hikaru shifted his position over, and pulled the covers a little ways back, giving Kaoru access. Kaoru sat down in the empty spot that Hikaru had provided, but he didn't lay down just yet, and twisted his body so that he could look at his twin. 

They stared at each other for a few moments without saying anything. They were so used to always knowing exactly what the other was thinking, and they still do for the most part. But with how things were changing, it took… A little longer, for them to get on the same page. 

"Really couldn't sleep, huh?" Kaoru broke the silence, and started to fiddle with the sheets while waiting for an answer. 

Hikaru sighed, "Yeah. It's harder than I thought, trying to sleep…. " he trailed off with a frown, staring off at something that wasn't Kaoru. 

".... Alone?" Kaoru offered, prompting his brother to turn his head back over to him. 

"Yeah," Hikaru cracked a smile. "Maybe I should get a body pillow, or something."

Kaoru snorted at his joke, and rolled his eyes. "I'm not talking to you if you do that."

The two of them shared a snicker together, and Kaoru reached a hand over to clasp into Hikaru's. As their laughter subsided, Kaoru pulled his legs up onto the bed, and shifted underneath the covers while Hikaru moved himself around so that his brother would fit more snugly next to him. Kaoru relaxed his body, and leaned up against Hikaru, but neither of them laid down to sleep just yet. 

"Maybe I… " Kaoru mumbled, "... Jumped the gun a little bit on this whole individuality thing."

"You're telling me," Hikaru scoffed light-heartedly, and wrapped his arm around Kaoru so he could squeeze him. "I love you, Kaoru. But god, you're really stupid sometimes."

"Thanks," Kaoru rolled his eyes, and did his best to jab his brother in the ribs with his elbow. "You suck."

"Just sayin'," Hikaru laughed, and squeezed his twin tighter to make it harder for Kaoru to maneuver himself around. "Was your only plan really to try and hurt me so that I'd distance myself from you?"

Kaoru didn't answer. The twins weren't looking at each other, and Hikaru wouldn't have been able to see him very well in the dark anyway, but his silence told him everything. He sighed, and rested his head up against Kaoru's, and the two of them shared the silence for a while. 

"I'm sorry, Hikaru," Kaoru mumbled eventually. "I didn't know what else to do."

It was Hikaru's turn to lapse into silence this time, but they only squeezed together closer. Kaoru was the one to gently turn and move his head so that their cheeks were rubbing together like cats, and Hikaru reciprocated the movements. 

"I know you didn't," he murmured. "But we don't… We don't have to jump right into this, y'know?"

"Mhm."

"I know we're not usually ones to take things slow, but… Just this once?"

"Mhm."

"... Are you even listening, Kaoru?"

"Mhm."

Hikaru could feel his twin smile at that, and he couldn't help but smile too. He knew Kaoru was going to answer with that again, whether it was because he was actually listening or because he was just a smartass. He felt Kaoru lift his head off of his, and he turned to face him just in time for Kaoru to gently rest his forehead against Hikaru's. He watched his brother with what he could only describe as affection, as his other half closed his eyes with content. 

"I want you to be happy, Hikaru," he said quietly. 

"I'm happy with you." Hikaru answered quickly. Kaoru opened his eyes to meet his gaze, and Hikaru smiled as he did. "I'm serious."

"I know you are," Kaoru chuckled softly. "But you need other people in your life to be your happiest."

Hikaru opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again quickly, and looked to the side, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "Okay- Yeah. But that doesn't mean I don't need you, too."

"Hikaru-"

"Kaoru." He cut him off, and met his eyes again, but he didn't say anything else. Kaoru pursed his lips and gave him a long look, before he continued. 

"Hikaru, you need to become someone. Someone who isn't just 'the twin that isn't Kaoru'," he explained gently. 

"I know that," Hikaru's voice was a little strained, as if he were trying to contain his frustration. "But Jesus Christ, what if- What if these differences push us apart? What if they make us weaker?"

Hikaru pulled his head away from Kaoru to give him an apprehensive look. "I mean, if someone hurts one of us, they hurt both of us. And we can be there for each other, but if we're different, if we're not the same, then we might end up hurting each other! We already-"

Hikaru didn't finish his sentence. He clenched his jaw shut, and he looked down with furrowed eyebrows. The room filled with silence once more, and Hikaru swallowed when he felt a hand on his cheek. 

"I think," Kaoru began slowly. "That those differences are only going to bring us closer together."

He noticed the skeptical look on Hikaru's face, and took that as a sign that he needed to continue, "I mean… We're like… Mirrors of each other. We're both… " he looked away with a nervous cough. "Uh… Emotionally difficult. Just, in different ways.

"Like, I usually notice how you're feeling way before you do. I understand what and why you have those emotions before you even realize what they are. If all we had done was try to be the same person like always, when would you have realized how much Haruhi meant to you had I not said anything?"

Hikaru didn't answer. But Kaoru knew he was listening. 

"You're more emotionally reactive than me. That's just how we're different already," Kaoru explained gently, and watched his brother intently until he saw the other nod slowly. 

"Right. And if we were both just like me, it would be disastrous, huh?" Hikaru quipped, and a small smile finally returned to his face. Kaoru laughed at that. 

"Sure. But it'd be equally disastrous if we were both me."

Hikaru raised an eyebrow, watching as his twin took a deep breath. If there were a bit more lighting in the room, he might've seen the way Kaoru's cheeks were turning slightly red. 

"I uh… I get my head stuck in the clouds. A lot. I'm always looking down on everyone else, and trying to look too far ahead, that I forget that I'm also here."

Kaoru found Hikaru's hand with his own, and entwined their fingers together with a soft chuckle. "You uh… You're the one who usually grounds me. Brings me back to Earth. Remind me that I need to be living in the moment as much as, if not more, than thinking about the future."

Hikaru let out a long sigh through his nose, and pursed his lips as he thought about his brother's words. He squeezed Kaoru's hand tightly, and let his head fall back forward against his twins. "You are up in your own head a lot. I guess that's where you get all your bad ideas from, huh?"

Kaoru laughed, and closed his eyes with a smile. "I suppose, yeah. The point is, you were right about us having a special bond. We compliment each other. The fact that we're different is only going to let us know each other more thoroughly."

 "... I think… I think I can work with that. You're lucky you're so convincing."

“There are a lot of ways I can convince you, Hikaru, and you know it.”

“I bet you couldn’t prove it,”

Hikaru smirked at his brother in a way that was almost challenging, and Kaoru lifted his eyebrows in amusement. They held each other's gaze for a few moments, until Kaoru took Hikaru's chin in his hand, and brought his face closer to his so he could start a kiss. Hikaru reacted like he was totally expecting it, and parted his lips to waste no time in deepening the kiss. 

If there was one thing they knew, it was that this, this part of their relationship, would never change. Their affections, the familiarity, the comfort, would always be there when they came home. 

Kaoru moved his hand through Hikaru's hair as they kissed. The road they'd just started on was a terrifying one. A road with a fork in the middle, where each of them would have to find themselves… Alone. To travel to some places alone. To meet other people alone. 

Hikaru pulled away from the kiss to catch a breath, and they both panted in the darkness. Their vision had adjusted to the darkness, and they could see each other, and the way they looked at each other. Even if the road ahead was frightening, it would always lead to the same place; with each other. 

Kaoru smiled as those comforting thoughts -which had mostly come from him- came to a conclusion, and Hikaru smiled back at him. And, Hikaru smiling caused Kaoru to smile wider, and vice versa, until they couldn't smile any wider, and instead just went back in for another kiss. 

Both of them were too tired to put anything more than a little tongue into the kiss, but it was passionate enough. They could feel each other's affection through their body language, and the emotion that was in it. When they broke off the kiss once again, they rested their foreheads back against each other, and stayed there for a moment, letting the silence envelop them. 

"I've always loved you, Hikaru," Kaoru said eventually. "I love you now. And… I look forward to falling in love with who you become."

Hikaru raised his head to look at him with a faint blush tinting his cheeks, and he giggled like a schoolgirl with a crush. "When'd you get so poetic?"

Kaoru chuckled, and shrugged. "Dunno. Guess that's one of our differences."

"You sayin I'm not poetic?" Hikaru scoffed, and poked Kaoru in the ribs. Kaoru gasped, and swatted at his hand. 

"I'm saying that it doesn't suit you."

"Poetry suits me just fine!"

"Sure, if you're the subject."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"See? You have no idea what you're talking about."

Hikaru pouted at their squabble, and Kaoru rolled his eyes at his dramatism. "I'm tired. Can we sleep now?"

"I guess," Hikaru mumbled, and dramatically jerked his body underneath the covers like a kid throwing a tantrum. Just to annoy him, he pulled the blanket as much as he could away from Kaoru, who let out a soft 'hey' before trying to take it back. 

The two couldn't help but break out into laughter as they tussled over the blanket, and before long, they both gave up, and settled down underneath it. 

As they adjusted themselves until they were comfortable, Kaoru let out a content sigh. With his arms wrapping around his brother, he squeezed him gently, and rested his head down on the pillow. Hikaru did the same, and Kaoru started to close his eyes to sleep. 

"I'll always love you too, Kaoru," Hikaru said softly. Kaoru opened his eyes again for just a moment, to look at him. 

".... I know that now. Goodnight, Hikaru."

"Goodnight, Kaoru."

[corvusthecryptid]

Hey! I'm actually really curious about Your Thoughts™ on the DSMP finale!! (Yes, this is a plea for an infodump plz)

FUCK YES SOMEONE FINALLY ASKED ALRIGHT BUCKLE UP

im putting it under read more bc i KNOW this is gonna get LONG

Everyone is talking about Tommy "forgiving" Dream and how him apologizing is victim blaming. As a victim of abuse, I don't see it that way. What it is, though, is very realistic.

See, abusers are, in fact, people. Are they shitty people? Absolutely! But they are still people. And I'm sure we've all heard the saying, "two wrongs don't make a right." This is true even with abusers.

Let me set up a scenario for you. I am in the car with my abuser, and my abuser swerves in a way that scares the shit out of me. It just so happens that it's right as one of my migraines are starting, making all my bad emotions worse. I yell at them for it, and say some hurtful things.

Yelling at people is wrong. Saying hurtful things is also wrong. So after this point, I would absolutely owe this person an apology. Because even if they later on do something emotionally abusive to me, that does not erase the hurt that I have caused. It's also not justified! So they would still be doing a shitty thing; I'm not saying they aren't.

But at the end of the day, I can only control my actions. And if my actions are hurtful ones, then yes, I owe an apology to the person or people I hurt, even if they are bad people. This does not absolve them of their abusive behaviors; but their behaviors don't absolve me of my own, either.

Tommy apologizing to Dream was for his own actions. Did Tommy deserve what Dream did, even after what Tommy did? FUCK no. But Tommy is only in control of his own actions, not Dream's. So I fully respect that he felt that the right choice in that situation was to apologize for his own wrongdoings.

That is not the same as forgiving Dream, either! I don't believe Tommy did forgive Dream. I believe that he was taking responsibility for his own actions, including the ones that made it so that none of them would get peace in that world.

Because that is what he did. Now, when he made that decision, it was before he knew peace was an option with Dream and Punz alive. So I don't judge his decision there, even if it was the wrong one with the knowledge we have now. But it was an option, and Tommy unintentionally got rid of said option. That is something fully worth apologizing for!

He wasn't apologizing for "bringing on" abuse or some shit. He was acknowledging that yes, even though he was the victim, he also was not perfect, and he was apologizing for his own misdeeds.

I think part of the problem is that a lot of the fandom sees things in black-and-white. What's funny is that I really struggle with said thinking as a result of BPD, and I'm the one seeing the shades of gray here!

But that's the thing, there are shades of gray in this series, just like in real life. Someone being a victim(of anything, abuse or otherwise) does not make them this perfect, untainted person who can do no wrong. In fact, in real life, it typically does the opposite! You pick up a lot of unhealthy behaviors when you're in an abusive situation. Sometimes you have to, in order to get through it. And sometimes those behaviors are harmful, and you have to unlearn them.

It actually reminds me of what happened with the Life is Strange fandom! Everyone ADORED Kate Marsh, who went through a traumatic event, because she was the "perfect victim." She was sad and meek and quiet. They all HATED Chloe, though, who was a victim of nearly the exact same thing. Why? Because she was at the point where she was angry at everyone, and lashing out.

Everyone wants the story to have Tommy be the Kate Marsh of this scenario. No one seems to want to see him be the Chloe. The truth is, though, that somewhere in the middle is where Tommy falls. This, to me, is far more realistic. You don't stay the perfect little meek, scared, cowering victim. You get angry, you do shit you shouldn't, and you have to take responsibility for that.

In my opinion, the finale acknowledges that! It acknowledges that you don't get a free pass on anything bad you do, past present and future, just because you're a victim of something. You still have responsibility for your own actions. Now, said actions never, ever justify what happened to you. But they are your actions, which you need to hold responsibility for.

For me, the finale gave me FAR more closure than simply "tommy is an angel and dream is an inhuman monster." I think they handled it beautifully, and I am so glad that they did it the way that they did as opposed to just making it a joke like Wilbur did or going for a fake, flowery ending. Both of those would have left a bad taste in my mouth.

So yeah, I absolutely loved that ending. I like that we're gonna get a clean slate, though I'm VERY hopeful that fragments start coming back. I could definitely see the next series being a cautionary tale: Do not let the past define you, but do not let history repeat itself, either. I also think it could provide explanation for all the memory issues on the server. Maybe this isn't the first time a wipe has happened, and maybe it doesn't affect everyone every time.

This has honestly renewed a lot of of my hope and interest for this series! I'm looking forward to seeing how things go.

but for the love of god y'all please stop calling it season 2, l'manburg was season one we've already had seasons oh my god this isn't the second season it's a spinoff/reboot PLEASE

[oriigirii]

LONG ASK BECAUSE I GOT BORED AND CARRIED AWAY ALSO BECAUSE IM KINDA SELF INDULGENT BUT WHATEVER

anyway i like to assume that the canon twisted wonderland world is different from the world where the fandom's ocs are. this is because it gives me more freedom to include several ocs into my brainrot, and the school isn't much of a "boys only" or "mostly boys" school. SO i get to cheat and simp for pretty women ocs and have female ocs for my own personal entertainment.

WHICH IS WHY.. i thought it'd be funny to categorize turbule's favorite people in each dorm, whether its an oc or not :)! the only problem is i dont remember anyone's names except like- four people, including charlie so bare(?) with me 😭

POST-CHERRY HERE HI- so idk if you'd notice but I ran out of ideas in the middle of it ahskhsnd 🥲👊

*an attempt to be organized

Heartslabyul - Deuce

Okay they probably have the same thought about eggs; that's why they're homies. The only difference is that Turbule is that Turbule's still oblivious to the truth while Deuce is well- traumatized??

Savanaclaw - RUGGIE- oh wait Charlie oops

Can't decide. Ruggie's only on Charlie-favoritism level because Turbule's easily impressed by his "skills in being sneaky." Well I think that's what you call it-

Charlie's just Turbule's big brother. It's like if you took the Canon!Aduece + Grim and Yuu relationship, reduced it to two(2) people, and made it a tiny less chaotic. Turbule drags Charlie into whatever seems like a "tall person" problem that they can't solve.

Octavinelle - Deeva is Top Tier (@/deeva-arud)

DEEVA IS SO PRETTY OMG!! Udi(?) did so well in making her design snakhdksd idk maybe it'd cause she has white hair- Absolutely solos the Octavinelle trio but that's just me.

WAIT THIS IS ABOUT TURBULE'S REASONS NOT MINE ANYWAY 🤡 This is hard trying not to be OOC uhm-

I imagine Deeva and Turbule's relationship to be a mutual "I don't get you but you're chill." The only thing that separates Deeva from other Octavinelle members is that she doesn't look at Turbule like she's about to do something bad, y'know?

Scarabia - uhm, uh- Jamil. Yeah

JAMIL'S SMART BRO- I like to think that Turbule's really desperate but their dorm mates won't answer them so she asks smart people. Jamil just has to be one of those people. He doesn't have to agree, just has to acknowledge that Turbule's asking the question :')!

Pomefiore - Rook??

Rook has a cool hat. That's it. Turbule's words, not mine.

Ignihyde - e v e r y o n e

Turbule loves her dorm! They're so cool with everything to their technology, rooms, uniforms- eh? Why are they all shying away from them..?

Anyway, Turbule still doesn't hesitate to ask her dorm members for anything. Whether that be for a quick game or if they have any spare Kool-Aid. Hey, it's an essential.

Diasomnia - Alina!! from (@/tedearaminta)

I'm not gonna lie- I don't know if Turbule would know anyone in Diasomnia to reach the favorites list.

Now that I think of it, Turbule probably walked up to Alina and asked if she could braid her hair- Like, it just slipped out kind of moment 🤡

I don't know if Alina actually let them, but that's a Minta(?) thing to decide not me.

Ramshackle(?) - HIKARI >:) (@/wingblade1357)

ANOTHER FELLOW FIRST YEAR HIGH FIVE!!

I personally think on the first day, some classes have ice breaker activities. Gross, I know, but that's probably how Turbule got close with Hikari.

Reading Hikari's bio-thing for reference, but her talent is lock picking. Knowing Turbule, they probably asked for her to teach them and didn't introduce her part of the activity-

Ahhhhh this is so cute 💕💕💕 Dw i love looking at these and now i have new artists to follow so thank you for that 😩 i feel you on the struggle to keep it true to the character though 😭 (also deevas design is 👏👏👏)

Anyways heres for Charlie cause this giraffe may be quiet but hes got his own favorites haha, i made sure to put a cut here cause im definitely gonna ramble a lot so bare with me 😭

-----

》 Heartslabyul

- Deuce

It should be clear by now that Charlie is a walking orphanage, he just adopts anyone on sight, you feel lonely? congrats youre his little sibling now, man has a lotta love to give with all his height and Deuce def screams little brother energy, i mean so does Ace, but Deuce is just too precious. Also they both livin that ex-deliquent life

(side note: i took 10 minutes to remember the word deliquent and i was ready to rip my hair out cause all i can remember is 'degenerate' and it sounded so harsh 😭)

--------

》 Savanaclaw

- Ruggie (platonically) | Leona (Romantically / Rivalry)

Of course, Ruggies an obvious one here, he is, afterall, a big brother himself, so they kinda vibe a lot, he also feels bad that stinky (/lh) Leona always makes him do the chores so he helps him out

Funny thing is that, Ruggie was originally suppose to be the love itnerest for Charlie T0T but im a sucker for enemies to lovers troupe so i just made Leona into his prince charming (Although i still HC that Ruggie has one sided feelings so i can suffer)

As for Leona, theyre childhood rivals, went to the same school and everything, and saw each other quite a bit due to his mom being a seamstress and actually making clothes for Leona's family from time to time!

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》 Octanivelle

- Jade

The chill type, the smart boi, the plant lover, so Charlie definitely vibes with him a lot, although hes still sure to be wary, afterall you can never fully trust those smiles of his,

-------

》 Pomefiore

- Epel

I actually dont know much about Epel aside from the fact that hes that type to look soft but can kill a guy yknow? He probably lends an ear to him a lot, and he along with Deuce probably hangs out during lunch from time to time!

-----

》 Scarabia

- Kalim

SUNSHINE. That is all.

Fr this man is the sweetest kid like cmon, who doesnt like Kalim 😭 (fr who? im ready to throw hands) But yeah Charlie probably first met him when he moved and was basically adopted by the extrovert, Jamil can trust Kalim to him cause Charlie will def protect this boy with his life

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》 Ignihyde

- TURBULE

His wittle sister now, sorry i dont make the rules either, but yes Charlie would be quite lost in video games if it werent for her, and i imagine that sometimes he wont even play, but he definitely would watch her play, she can ramble to him about everything thats going on and hed silently try to keep up but nod along anyways 😭

-------

》 Diasomnia

- MATILDA 💕💕 (oc by @twosided-twisted-fate ) [hi fren]

Im not to familiar with too many ocs unfortunately, but Matilda will probably be one of Charlies favorite people in school, just cause shes chill like that yknow? He may not be as close to her as Wendy (my other oc) but he still think shes cool, a fellow brawler also 🫂

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》 Ramshackle

- BABY LILITH HUHU💕 (by @twosided-twisted-fate again!)

Shes his favorite, literally gives her everything just to make her smile, braids her hair and stuff, and always brings her to his house if he visits so she can play with Asha (his little sister), theyre great friends and Charlie wouldnt have it any other way

------

》 Lostaria (Fandorm based on peterpan)

- Wendy

Def a hyper gossiper, but Charlie thinks he cool, he does try to get him out of trouble more than hed like to admit, but theyre both kinda the same deep down, they both are trying to adopt as many siblings as possible

------

Bless you for finishing reading, i definitely wrote more than i expected im sorry 😭🫂

[imsupposedtobearesponsibleteen]

I was put in a less than ideal situation and I'm mad about it

Hello, before I start telling you this story, quick tw; themes of suicide, self harm, bipolar disorder, and mental health services.

For the record, I have bipolar type 2, and I live with 3 girls. I'm a trans guy (this is relevant later, as is the next piece of information). For the past 5 weeks, my housemates have all been a little bit off. Couldn't put my finger one what, or why. this was, but they were. For the past 3 of those 5 weeks, the three of them have barely spoken to me, and the most I've managed to get out of them is "the next time you're in the living room, open the windows."

So, on Thursdays morning, i woke up to banging on my bedroom door and 2 men yelling. I check my phone, its 2am and I have 5 missed calls from a withheld number. At this point, I'm scared and confused, but know that if i don't answer my bedroom door, whoever is yelling is gonna come in my room (I have a funny thing about people in my room). I open my bedroom door to find 2 paramedics stood there. No hi, hello, no "we're here because of A, B, C," what I'm met with is "we know you have bipolar, are you taking your meds?"

At which point im like, what the hell? like what is this? whats going on? start from the beginning, what?

One of them then asks me if I know why they're there, and I'm like, well no, obviously, it's 2am and you've just woken me up whats happening?

The same guy then proceeds to tell me that the ambulance service have had a phone call from someone saying I was planning on taking my own life and that I was actively and "seriously" self harming (they were his words not mine, I don't believe that the way someone self harms or depth someone goes is a relevant factor in severity, but elitism in struggling i guess is where this guy was coming from?).

At which point i have to stand there and tell him I am fine, none of this is true and all of what he's been told is unfounded, baseless and a bit of a shock on top of the one I've already had.

The issue is, these paramedics are now doing a welfare check. They can't have me say "I'm fine" and then just leave at this point. So I'm put in the back of the ambulance and we sit there outside my house, and he does my obs. He starts to complain about how high my blood pressure and heart rate are, at which point I remind him of the situation that is currently happening to me and not him. I then have to speak to the crisis team and I get given a crisis appointment at 10:30 am.

I get on the bus at like, 8:15, but while I'm waiting, I send a message to the group chat for my house saying, "can someone please explain what the hell happened at 2am because I'm really confused and rattled."

I then have to explain the entire situation to them, who say that I shouldn't have been put through any of that. The only good thing that came out of me going there was figuring out that my GP had actually given me the wrong information about how to take 1 of my meds, so I'm happy about that so I can take it properly.

On my way back home, I get a reply. "We were concerned about your safety so rang 111 (non emergency general advice medical line in the UK) who told us to ring 999 (the UK solution to 911) so we did."

Bearing in mind that these people have bearly acknowledged my existence for the past month. Hardly. So I ask, "well, none of you have said you were concerned or anything really so like whats the deal? why didn't you ask?" They all see my message. Nobody responds. So I ask again, "none of you have expressed concern or worry, nobody gave me a heads up about the fact you'd rung 999 and Im very shaken and this entire thing could have been avoided if someone had asked, and none of you did, whats the deal?"

Turns out the three of my housemates and the rest of the wider friendship group have been talking about my mental health behind my back. One of them that I live with has admitted to going to university mental health advisors and other people about me and my mental health without talking to me first.

The exact quote "I didn’t decide to ring an ambulance out of the blue to traumatise you, I had been gathering professional advice for weeks on what to do, I met with a mental health advisor who told me to ring 111 asap and the rest was me following professional advice, I was doing what I was told was the correct procedure." In an earlier text she'd said, "I really hope you take on an active role in your own recovery and engage with the support from the uni."

A few things about these 2 statements; number one, I am receiving professional help from a psychiatrist and other professionals outside of the university, hence my bipolar diagnosis and stuff. There has been an assumption made that I'm not receiving help and I don't agree with it, and I can't quite tell if this comes from a place of "you're bipolar, why would you engage?" or if this comes from a place of "I haven't heard you talk about support in our 1 brief conversation about your bipolar so I'm assuming you dont have any." Either way, this comes off as passive aggressive, and shocking someone in a traumatic situation does not push them towards help, it can push them away from it.

Secondly, "I didn't do it to traumatize you." I'm telling you, you traumatized me. Intent isn't impact. The correct response to me telling you that's what you did is communication and acceptance, not deflection.

Thirdly. Lets not lose track that in all of this, i got the shock of my life on thursday morning, but my mental health has been a topic of discussion behind my back and without my consultation or consent for weeks. Nobody bothered to to tell me what was going on for weeks. I feel violated and like I can't trust anyone anymore.

The last thing is, there is no "professional advice on what to do" in this situation. I'll tell you why, the only person that can give me proper mental health support and advice in my situation is my psychiatrist and my GP where appropriate. The "professional advice on what to do" is based one a one sided opinion from a person that did not bother to ask me first and is sneaking around behind my back. If the mental health professionals who are genuinely involved in my care thought there was some sort of issue, trust me, that would have been acted upon if it hasn't already been.

I brought up the fact that I'm a trans guy at the beginning of this, and you are probably wondering what that has to do with anything is this scenario. The reason is, i go by my name with the people I live with and with a number of the charities I do work with, but I haven't got round to changing it legally. That affected the conversation I had with the paramedics because I then had to go through the entire process of telling them about that. Was not a conversation I wanted to have at 2am on a Thursday morning in that situation. I appreciate my housemates calling me my name, but they know my deadname, in that scenario I'd have rather them just have used that to save me the trauma. On top of that, my housemates don't know my student ID number, so if the person that referred me to mental health in the university (which I am going to decline if I get the email because I don't need their support given what I have already) I doubt they'll get in touch because I'm not sure they'll be able to find me because my name on the register is my legal name.

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG

dick

dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it

dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao

dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time

Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN

everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets

jason

would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip

him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge

tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.

jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost

cassandra

it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship

she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)

cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.

duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.

damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going

tim

tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.

listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.

tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.

tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.

tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian

duke

very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.

was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.

cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).

tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.

damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.

damian

damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf

listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).

Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.

DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.

CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.

Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers

[arminty7]

𝘚𝘸𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘞𝘪𝘯𝘦

Mermaid!Jungkook x Reader [Part 3]

Trapped in this life of expensive wine and judgemental eyes Y/N met an unusual lady who offered her a job at an aquarium a few towns away. Despite being hesitant and uncertain for the future she decided to take the offer as it was her only way out, not knowing that many dangers might come her way.

Jungkook swam his way through the small tunnel in wonder. He didn’t realise what he was ‘walking’ into as he took the entire night to explore a tunnel. He thought it might lead to you, how naive. It is only when he heard the piercing sound of drilling from the small tunnel entrance did he know what was happening, he was trapped. With that, his instincts took over.

Chapter: #3 Swimming in Wine

Words: 4843

Warnings: Mild Swearing // Fluff // Eventual Smut? Idk maybe depends // Jungkook obsessive // Evil Namjoon (im sorry guys) // It might be a little messed up.

AN - It's been a while. I know. 

© arminty7 2020 - All rights reserved.

This work shall not be copied, reproduced, translated and/or modified in any way without my permission. In a case where this might happen, legal action will be taken as it would be a criminal act under the law and breaching these terms. Upon reading my work you are acknowledging that this work is mine and that you know the consequences if this work is copied, reproduced, translated and/or modified in any way without my permission.

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It was early in the morning when the sun started to creep its way into the room. You were sitting on your bed and surprisingly enough, you were already awake. You never used to be such an early bird, but throughout these past few nights, you would wake up drenched in sweat. No matter how hard you tried you couldn't stop thinking about the incident on the cliff. Upon sleeping, you could almost feel the arms of the creature wrapped around you, like its haunting touch has placed a permanent mark on you. When thinking about it more deeply, it felt human to you. The arms of a human, but its touch too deeply pressed on your skin: the coldness you felt, reached down to your bones. It was like death was clinging onto you, with you as its life source.  

 "Hey Y/N? You up?" You heard a whisper and you saw Julie poking her head through the door as she opened it slightly. You look over at her with a relaxed expression and a soft smile.  

"Yeah, I'm already up. Did you want to go and get a coffee near the waterfront before dropping me off to work?" You stand up from your bed and start fixing the blankets and pillows. 

 "Yeah that sounds like a good idea, let me go get my bag and we can leave soon." She spoke as she left the room, closing the door but not all the way. 

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Looking out onto the ocean, it felt calm today. Although the tranquillity that you felt while looking out onto the shore exhibited a chaotic kind of peace. The calm before the storm. You could feel it, the anger of the waves crashing down and the freeing nature of the water wanting to come out. But it held restraint, it couldn't do anything even if it tried. Something was missing but you didn't know what. All you knew was that the feeling you had felt when looking out towards the ocean, changed somehow. The calm waters seemed too good to be true.

 You sat there at the coffee shop across from the beach near where you work. The smell of sea-salt and fish mixed with coffee seemed like a horrible combination, but the locals were used to it. You found comfort in the idea that you might get used to it too. The coffee that you held in your hands was hot against the cool air. You sipped your coffee while waiting for Julie to come back with her usual morning cravings of insatiable sweet pastries. 

 “So, tell me. Have you made any work friends? Any of them cute?” Julie sat down across from you, taking you away from your thoughts. You looked over at her and chuckled, rolling your eyes.

“I have made some friends, not many but hopefully that will change in time” You smiled slightly looking out at the ocean again, feeling yourself get distracted but not with anything in particular. "Well it’s your first day today so make sure to stay on your toes, but don't overwork yourself," Julie spoke while her mouth is full of sweet dough-like pastries, more focused on the icing coating the top of her lips, not realising that you have been spacing out this entire time. 

Thankfully you're good at multi-tasking and you chuckle at her comment, "It’s funny, people keep forgetting that I have worked at an aquarium before you know? It's not that much of a big deal." You sip your coffee but immediately placed it back down on the table, it was too sweet.

You look at your watch, realising its time to go. Plus, you would rather be at work than trying to have a normal conversation with her, you know she's trying but she's not your caretaker or mother, she doesn't need to try so hard.

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As you walk through the entrance of the Aquarium you could immediately feel the difference in atmosphere from the other day. The busy environment that you knew so well back home at the aquarium suddenly felt familiar. The buzzing sounds of life engulfed the reception as many families and residents were chatting away while waiting in line. Kids nagging at their parents and young couples looking at each other lovingly while waiting in line.  There were not many people though as it was early, and it wasn't officially open for another 30 minutes. 

You walked past them towards the reception and saw Seokjin who looked busy talking to the people in line. He glanced over at you and he made an expression as if he remembered something.

"Ah Y/N, Jimin told me to tell you to wait for him at the food court at the bar. You'll be working with him today. Taehyung is meant to be here, but he called in sick". You nodded, silently chuckling to yourself as Taehyung probably just called in sick because he was "too busy" or had some "emergency". While in reality, he's probably watching a new season of a drama he recently got addicted to. 

You head your way to the food court after you say goodbye to Seokjin. It seemed quiet in the food court but simultaneously busy as workers prepared for the day. You could see some workers running around in their little cafes or tourist shops as you walk towards the main bar. You could hear your heels hit the glassy floor, echoing as it bounced off the wall of the gigantic room. 

The bar had no one in it. You suppose it didn't open till later in the day. It was weird to you, you have never seen an Aquarium that had a bar before. Mind you, you never really travelled anywhere so you wouldn't know if it's a common thing to have at Aquariums. 

You sat on the stool, looking at the giant tank circling the entire food court, acting as a wall around the large room. You tried to look through it to see how far it went but all you could see was the light blue ocean that seemed almost endless. Some small school fish could also be seen swimming in the tank. It felt as though you were in the middle of the ocean. All alone. 

In contrast to the light blue colour that is seen throughout the rest of the room, the small tank that was built into the wall behind the bar looked darker and overgrown. It was a very small square tank that resembled a small window. You could barely see through it, a thick layer of algae covering the glass, it looked so dark in there. Maybe it was connected to another section of the aquarium, perhaps it even descended underground?

You shivered and looked around the food court, were you being watched? You could feel the sudden nervousness tingling throughout your body.

It was a weird feeling that came upon you, an icy cold feeling of loneliness like the air had suddenly shifted. The voices of the other workers in the food court were drifting away and you were slowly slipping away from reality. An alluring voice crept into your ear, singing an enchanting but hypnotising harmony. Somehow you could sense that it wasn't one of the workers for the voice sounded too angelic, too sweet to even be real. Your bones were chilled as you sensed the familiar feeling of cold strong arms enveloping around your waistline and chest as if you were reliving the moment by the cliff. You could physically feel it, its touch… his touch. Closing your eyes, you could feel the cold sharp wind from that moment above the water as it brushed against your cheeks. The creature’s hot breath giving you some type of warmth in the moment, yet it felt unknown to you. Mortality was clutching you in its hands, but you felt so safe. Like it was saving you despite drowning you at the same time. 

You shook your head, awaking from the trance that you were in. Glancing back over at the tank behind the bar and you saw a dark figure in the water. It stayed there looking through the algae ridden glass. You could only see a face, black and blue scales on its cheekbones and jaw. It looked human, but at the same time, you knew it wasn't. Its alluring golden eyes, shining in the water, staring into your own. Its eyes were soulless. 

By the time you blinked, it was gone.

You stood up, wanting to go closer to the small tank behind the bar. Making your way behind the bar, you were stopped by a strong hand pulling your shoulder back. "What are you doing here?" You turned to see a man who held your shoulder with a firm grip, his eyes staring straight into yours.

Oh, if looks could kill.

"I uhh.." Your mind went blank as you stepped back a bit, away from the man. He looked annoyed while you struggled to let the words out. By this time, you forgot what just happened moments ago.

"Answer my question" He spoke quietly but sternly, letting go of your shoulder but moving a step closer to make sure you can't run away. 

"I was waiting for-" 

"Yoongi-Hyung, what are you doing?? Leave the poor girl alone, you'll give her a heart attack" You sighed in relief as you saw Jimin walk up to the bar. 

'You know this girl?" He spoke in a serious tone, you remembered what Taehyung said earlier about the Bartender, I guess this is him.

Jimin nodded, leaning on the bar. "Her name is Y/N, she's the new recruit Hoseok was telling us about" Jimin looks over at you with a charming smile while you take the opportunity to escape the bar and onto Jimin's side. 

Yoongi looked at you and then back at Jimin, "well get outta here will you, the aquarium opens up soon”.  

You nodded and Jimin just smirks before looking over at you "Come on Y/N, we have a busy day ahead of us" He stands up, grabbing your hand, giving you his signature smile before leading you out of the food court and down the hall.

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Third Person POV

"I can't believe we are opening up the aquarium a day after we caught it, what if it escapes?!" Hoseok looked down at the ground continuously tapping his foot on the ground as he leaned on the bookshelf in the office. Namjoon sat there in the chair in front of him. 

"Don't worry, it can't escape" Namjoon reassured him and then continued. 

"We have reason to believe it got stuck in an old tunnel filled with water that was built throughout the aquarium. We constructed the tunnel ages ago for the public and we were going to add glass windows to it, so you can look through the tunnel. However, the construction wasn't going as planned and we halted the idea." 

"So, it's just swimming in a small tunnel throughout the aquarium walls with no way out? Like a maze? In pitch-black darkness?" Hoseok widened his eyes, he never heard of such a thing. 

"You have nothing to worry about, the tunnel that he swam through to get in the aquarium was connected to the ocean, but we blocked it off as soon as we found out he swam in it. He's stuck in there." 

"Are you certain? Have you swum through the tunnel yourself? How do you know there's no other way he can reach the other aquariums for the public to see?" Hoseok said, his voice raised. He walked up to the front of the desk, his hands crossed, Namjoon could sense his doubt radiating off of him. 

"Before this place was opened to the public, I got some divers to check it out, it has no pockets or windows. It's pitch black down there" he tried to reassure Hoseok again. Namjoon looked up at Hoseok and he nodded, uncrossing his arms. 

"Let's hope he doesn't go too crazy down there, we'll have to get him out soon." He continued, "Oh, by the way, Jackson called. He said yes to the deal." Hoseok 

"Good. We will prepare the creature for transport soon".  

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It was a busy day. 

You sat off to the side as Jimin stood in his wetsuit on the platform of the dolphin's tank. He had a big smile stretched across his face as he instructed the dolphins while the crowd watched from the bleachers. With every flick of his hand, the dolphins would jump up in the air and the echoes of cheering would fill the small arena. You had a bucket of fish with you and you watched as each dolphin would come up to you after doing a trick. You sat on the side of the tank, you were visible to the public eye, but they weren't paying attention to you. It was sad really, you knew what went on in aquariums. How ironic that you want to be free yourself when working at an establishment that rejects freedom. You looked at the next dolphin that swam your way, it seemed weaker than the others. You went closer to the tank and sat on the edge. It slowly swam up to you, it was at that very moment that you saw a gash stretched out on its back. It wasn't bleeding, and you could easily see that it’s been there for a while.

You looked up at Jimin in worry although he didn't take notice. He held the microphone as he catered to the audience. You looked back at the dolphin and reached a fish from the bucket. Perhaps it was self-inflicted somehow. You heard that stuff can happen in aquariums. You watched the dolphin gently swim away, back down into the water, following the strict routine that was given to them before the show. 

After the show ended, you still couldn't get that dolphin out of your head. Its empty expression in its eyes is still burned in your mind. All the hope and optimism you once associated with dolphins was now gone. 

You stood there in the tiny tin room out the back of the aquarium near the dolphin tank, cleaning buckets of fish that were now empty. Jimin left you and went to go help another co-worker and gave you the task of cleaning out buckets that radiated the smell of decaying fish. You remember the innocent smile he gave you when he asked you for this little favour. It was your job, you couldn't say no - and he knew that. 

"Thanks, Y/N! I owe you" Jimin yelled out, waving his hand as he ran off. 

It was around 4 pm when you finished cleaning. Your body felt tired from the long day and you and Jimin were headed to the bar.

As you stepped into the food court the feeling you had before suddenly crept through your body. You shivered, and a sudden feeling of dread came upon you. It was weird, you didn't even think about the incident after it happened. Like you suddenly forgot about it. But now, as you slowly walk up towards the bar, you felt a chill encompassed around your bones. 

Jimin sat down on the stool on the bar and placed a hand under his chin. He looked up at Yoongi with a smirk, "So, how's business?". Yoongi took a glance up at the both of you and looked back down again, wiping the bar down. 

"It was pretty slow today. It was weird, I expected more people to come" Yoongi said quietly. You sat down next to Jimin and crossed your arms over the bar, letting your head rest gently on your arms. 

"Hey, I just cleaned that" Yoongi looked over at you but after the day you had, you couldn't care less. You replied with a monotone "sorry" but stayed in your current position. He could tell that you were tired and surprisingly enough, he didn't push it. 

"So, you remember that key I gave to you right? The one I found?" Jimin straightened up at Yoongi's words and looked over at you for a split second. 

"Yeah I remember, what about it?" Yoongi sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well I need it back" Jimin looked confused, "but I thought you found it, that it had no meaning to you. That's why you gave it to me in the first place"

Yoongi sighed, "To be honest it was actually Hoseok's. I was curious to know what it's for, so I gave it to you. I didn't realise you wouldn't tell me after you found out. Still, after all these years, you haven't told me! To think, I was the one who gave you the key in the first place". Yoongi grabbed a glass from under the bar and shoved some ice in it before filling it up with apple juice. He passed it to you as if to tell you that he still remembers that you're here.

Jimin rolled his eyes, "Yeah, you gave me the key because you were too lazy to figure it out on your own". 

"The point is, I need it. Where is it?" Yoongi looked somewhat anxious as he wiped down the bar for the third time. 

Jimin shrugs, reaching his arm over to take your drink from the table that you haven't touched.

It’s too sweet. He sipped it casually and looked over at you before landing his eyes towards Yoongi again. "I don't know, I threw it away, I found no use for it". 

Yoongi crossed his arms frowned, "that's bullshit, you are lying, and you know it, you've always been a bad liar". Yoongi then looks at you, your arms still crossed as you lay your head there, if they didn't know any better, they would have assumed you were asleep. Except you laid there, silently listening. 

Jimin then also frowns, "look I don't know what to tell you, it's been years since you gave me that thing. The truth is, I lost it." Jimin looks up at Yoongi but Yoongi scoffs. 

"So, you threw it away or lost it? Come on Jimin, just give it to me, I know you have it". Yoongi looked right through Jimin's eyes, you looked over at both of them, you could tell there was tension in the air. 

Jimin was silent and Yoongi sighed grabbing the drink that you obviously weren’t going to finish and pouring it into the sink before placing the glass in the dishwasher under the bar. 

Yoongi spoke quietly but you could tell that his words held a lot of weight, "Promise me". 

Jimin looked up, "I don't get why you are so obsessed with this key, I don't even have it!" 

"Promise me that you don't have it" Yoongi looked at him, his facial expression was the look of hurt more than anything. You could tell that there was more to this than what Yoongi was letting on. You sat there next to them, waiting for Jimin to spill the beans about giving the key to you.

Jimin was hesitant for a second before strongly responding, "I promise I don't have it." Yoongi stood there silent before nodding, mumbling a soft "sorry" under his lips before going back to cleaning the bar, even though he already finished. 

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"I can't believe you lied for me," You spoke as you walked around the dolphin tank outside, Jimin walking beside you.

"I didn't lie. I don't have it. You do." Jimin smiled at you brightly, although you could tell that something was bothering him. You both kept walking before Jimin looked at his watch, "I'm sorry I got to go, feel free to stay here as long as you want, Namjoon doesn't mind us staying after hours. Although you do realise our shift ended an hour ago, right?" Jimin smiled brightly as he looked down at you, his eyes shining in the moonlight. 

You chuckled, "Yes I knew, I just like your company. Thanks for being there for me. I haven't known you long, but you made me feel comfortable on my first day" You smiled, it seemed like you and Jimin were going to become really good friends. 

"I'll always be here Y/N... Anyways I'll see you at work tomorrow yeah? Have a nice night" Jimin waved goodbye and walked away. 

You sighed, reaching for the key from your pocket. 

"Might as well check it out while I still can?" You thought. 

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It was late, really late and you found yourself questioning Jimin's earlier statement about being allowed here after hours. You wandered through the halls of the aquarium, following the directions Jimin and Taehyung showed you last time, careful not to make any loud noises to gain any attention. 

The halls were cold, and you could hear were the sounds of your heels tapping against the hard floor. While walking, you felt your chest become heavy, looking around you started to hear weird sounds coming from the walls. You shrugged it off however, you've been in aquariums long enough to know that it could be anything and that it's never completely quiet. 

Finally reaching your destination you head down the metal steps. You've never been to this part of the building apart from when Jimin and Taehyung took you, you suppose it's for private personnel only. Continuing down the steps you reach the door to the moonpool, the sounds of water can be heard dripping and sloshing from behind. Inserting the keys and turning the metal handle you slowly walked inside. It was darker than the last time you saw it. What was surprising was the glow worms on the roof of the moonpool illuminating the moonpool and stone walls that surrounded it. You didn't see them during the day. They were beautiful.

Walking along the gravel towards the moonpool, you took off shoes your socks and placed your backpack next to the moonpool. You sat on the edge, dipping your legs in as you rolled up your pants, so they don't get wet. You closed your eyes, feeling the water reach up to your kneecaps. The water was lukewarm, and the smell of sea salt radiating off of it. 

What a long day. 

If you were being honest, all of this was too much for you. You never thought you would say this, but you miss home. You miss Marina's cooking and weirdly enough, you miss your mother. She hasn't called, even texted since you left. You felt like you thought this would be different, the people here are nice but every so often you get reminded about the flaws of this world, the treatment of animals, – the dolphin – the uneasiness you felt about Julie and her intentions. Even Jimin and Yoongi, you didn’t want to cause a fight between them because of some stupid key.

The water had suddenly started to turn cold, starting from your feet you feel a rush of icy water spread to your knees, eliminating any prior warmth you felt. The dripping stopped, the sloshing of the water halted. You opened your eyes curiously to see a figure from the other side of the moonpool staring right at you. You looked right in its eyes. Time stopped, and you could barely see anything else but the wide golden piercing gaze of the creature. You sat there frozen in place. You don't know how long you stayed like this for, but it took a while to realise what was happening. It didn't say a word, but you could tell by its knowing facial expression that it somehow knows who you are. Looking down in the now murky water you could see an outline of a human’s body, his muscles and broad shoulders prominent underneath the dark blue scales that stretched over its torso. You continued to examine the long outline of a tale - a big tale at that - with the front looking slimy however you could guess that the back of the tale was sharp enough to cut through any piece of flesh that it would encounter. One aspect of the creature that seemed almost beautiful were some parts of his scales that were brighter than others, acting as a highlighter around his cheekbones and arms. 

You didn't want to make any sudden movements, frightened that the creature would drag you under. Eat you. Kill you. You decided that it was now or never and spoke quietly under your breath, looking back up at its eyes that never left yours. "Hi, my name is Y/N". Your breath was shaky, and your lips were dry. 

"It probably can't even understand you," You thought to yourself. 

The creature stopped staring into your eyes and lowered its focus to your legs that were swaying in the water. You shivered, the cold air getting to you. Goosebumps appeared on your legs and arms and you could have sworn you sore the remnant of a smirk that appeared on its lips. 

You suddenly had an idea. 

Carefully, you looked up at the creature, "I'm just going to grab something out from my backpack, okay?" Slowly you stretched your arm out towards your backpack while maintaining eye contact with the creature. The creature stayed still, however you knocked something metal in your bag and it made a loud noise that echoed throughout the moonpool. The creature’s facial expression turned darker and it went full force towards you, grabbing your calves as it didn't let you go. It was close to your face, its golden eyes peering into yours as you could feel its grip and claws on your legs tighten, its body between your thighs leaning in on you. You breathed in slowly, feeling almost petrified, but somehow you knew the creature didn't mean any harm. It looked over at your hand that was inside your backpack. You waited a few seconds before slowly, lifting your hand out of the bag, to reveal a container of prawns that was meant to be your lunch today. 

The creature's grip loosened from your calves as it watched you open the container, taking a prawn before slowly reaching over to the creature's lips. One of its hands let go of your calf as it held your hand, guiding it towards its lips before it opened its mouth biting the prawns head off. You looked at the creature, a little startled. Its teeth were sharper than a normal human, like razors. In fact, you looked closely at the details of the creature's face, noticing the similarities to that of a human. Everything was the same except for the scales on the sides of his face, neck and on his cheekbones. The outline of his eyes was darker though, making his golden eyes brighter than usual. It had brown locks of hair, wet but you could see it was starting to dry. He resembled a male in his 20s.

He finished the prawn quickly and looked back at the container, wanting more. You spoke softly, "have more if you would like". 

He looked down at your hand and then back up at you as if it was asking you to feed him again. His grip on one of your calves was softer and you could feel his thumb running circles over your calf. You grabbed another prawn, reaching over to his lips as he was careful not to cut your fingers with his teeth as he ate the prawn. 

You sat there, feeding him the rest as he grew more comfortable around you. His hand reached out of the water towards the gravel next to your thigh as he spelled out the words "Jungkook" on the gravel. 

"Jungkook?" You questioned, "is that your name?". Jungkook looked up at you before placing his hand on your thigh. 

"Yes", he answered. Your eyes widen in shock, you didn't think he could understand you. You frowned and asked him curiously, "could you understand me this whole time?". 

He smirked slightly, "I'm not the best at this human language but yes, yes I could" He looked up at you, his eyes shining. You frowned, feeling a little messed around with since he could have at least answered you the many times you spoke to him. But then again you understood, he doesn't know you, and you don't know him. 

His grip on your calf and thigh tightened as he started to pull you in the water. You freaked, holding on to the edge of the moonpool. "Wait, wait, wait! I can't get these clothes wet and I uhh, have to get going soon..." Jungkook frowned but stopped pulling. He let go of you. 

"Promise me you'll come back?" He looked at you with a sad expression, lowering himself in the water. 

You looked down at him as you took your legs out of the water and grabbed your bag with your shoes and socks.

"I promise"

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AN: I know I haven’t updated, but I do really wanna update more. I feel like this chapter was a good one, give me some feedback? :)

tags:  @mjlock​

[chemicalpink]

Why BTS ignores paradise? 😭

LMAOOO I was getting ready to log off and I had already cleaned my space bUT THIS IS SO FUNNY IM CACKLING

I'll try- WE NEED ANSWERS.

*plays Paradise full volume on loop and takes out all the decks*

I just know this is gonna be a difficult one.

Disclaimer: i honestly don't know what is gonna come out of this one. Entertainment purposes only.

A/N: be ready for my academic rant afterwards bc I think I know a bit about why this is regardless of the cards but let us see. It was meant to be a crack reading WHY AM I CRYING

WHY ARE BTS PARADISE ANTIS

Listen. BTS might not really be paradise antis and here's why. There doesn't seem to be a clear indicator on them actually wanting to dismiss the song by their own accords.

It actuals holds a special place in their hearts. It is a song that came out of a dark place. Like the light at the end of the tunnel, they had been through shit (and I mean deep dark shit) to them is anthem to the dark times, something that reminds them of the silent suffering that they were going through and the light shining on them of finally being able to begin to heal (9oS rx)

The timing of the song- it's a reminder of how it seemed to them like they were working their asses of without any reward waiting for them in the end, just burn out. Seems like although it means this much to them, their reluctance to perform it or talk about it is a boundary of theirs, to just- enjoy it for what it means to them (knightoP rx)

Them playing it as paradise antis is actually a facade not to hurt. This stage of their lives is something they have yet to work on and that's okay! Even so much as listening about this song triggers their fight or flight reflex. As I've said before, it is a reminder of darker times and the inner voices that went through their minds. Kinda like how you listen to the song that helps you cry when you can't? Kinda like that (the high priestess)

We know the boys are also on their own self-love journey and- okay this song appears to be an insecurity of theirs. They have yet to realise that vulnerability is sexy. They feel like the song has so much emotional input to the point where the usual BTS-esque structure was left behind. Basically, they feel like the song isn't enough. (strength rx)

Yeah basically, it's one of those personal healing items that they would like to keep for themselves, a token that reminds them of when life started taking a turn towards better times, the beginning of a new era of their career. (5oP rx) the message of what they were healing is pretty consistent on being desperate and unwilling to keep going, along with a lot of professional hardships, not seeing value in what they were doing (QoW rx)

And you know the funny thing, the spread ends with the wheel of fortune, showing that their strength to keep on going was fate itself, that things were meant to change for the better, it was life showing them that some successes take time, that hard work definitely pays off, that when met with decisive moments in their lives, if done out of love and respect for the reason as to why they started in the first place will most definitely be rewarded.

THE CORPORATE DECISION BEHIND NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO PARADISE

Listen- Paradise is a beautiful song and after what the cards have told- it is even more so, fortunately (or unfortunately) for us all and BTS, Paradise is a big no-no from a HYBE/BigHIt POV.

It's an educated critique of the system, inspired on Marxist theory and what not but BTS is prone to be criticised over the smallest things, giving voice to such a song would only light the fire even more on external people calling them hypocrites.

BTS has grown like no other, their company has risen from the absolute ashes, and it really is no secret and shouldn't be something to be ashamed of, they are making THE money. You would have to make a bit more sense if you're gonna go around preaching about society's construction and dynamics reducing dreams to nothing unless they are deemed valuable for the capitalistic system all the while you keep getting richer.

Evidently, there are a lot of rich people out there claiming to have an anti-capitalistic mindset and no one really gives a shit whether they are true to said beliefs or not but that's where intersectionality comes in.

If they were to promote/perform Paradise (and as things are now, it would be the topic and gain a lot of attention), you can't look at BTS being incongruent about the topic without also acknowledging that they are POC, that they are struggling against a "teenage-filled fandom boyband" stereotype, hence why it's a safer decision to just overlook the song. Their mental health, the position in the industry they keep so hard working on (and let's be real, the economic success they've reached) really isn't worth it. The song is there for us all to enjoy and someday, perhaps, once they have also healed that part of their careers, and are willing to share the song with us, we can enjoy a performance.

[beomglocks]

unlikely allies ; txt x reader

part: one ,, next chapter / previous chapter

plot: when a zombie apocalypse breaks out in your town, you're forced to team up with a group of boys from very different social standards in your school.

genre: fluff, angst, horror i guess?, not really that scary but alright, some funny moments

w/c: 3.6K

warnings: blood, gruesome scenes (kind of really detailed), cursing, everyone hates each other, definitely some major injuries, zombies duh, everyone kinda pining for mc

︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵

he sighs looking at the both of you. "if we wanna make it out of here alive...we're gonna have to fight."

silence. the room was engulfed in silence, save for the growling and moaning of the monsters outside the door. you and yeonjun stared wide-eyed at taehyun who was mirroring your expressions.

"excuse me what?" yeonjun blurted. "we don't even know what those things are and you wanna go out there and risk getting torn to shreds like the nurse? are you crazy?" all you could do was shake your head in fear. you were still shaken up from watching someone get eaten alive.

"s-she...i saw her get eaten and then she just s-stood up? she came back to life somehow?" you questioned out loud. the boys looked at you with fear in their eyes. yeonjun stared at your shaken state and frowned turning to taehyun. "see? if go out there we're gonna die!"

"well do you have any other suggestions? if we stay here we starve to death or something like that, it's better to go out looking for help and finding others before more of them corner us here!" taehyun was making a lot of points right now but going out there? where you just saw a woman die and come back to life? that would happen to you guys if you weren't prepared.

you tried to calm yourself by taking a deep breath, "ok i agree with taehyun...but we need to be really prepared. we may not be capable of murder at this moment but we can take them on enough to get away right?"

taehyun nods but yeonjun just paces around the room anxiously. "you guys are insane. i can't believe i'm gonna die here of all places." you and taehyun watch yeonjun tug at his blonde hair. he suddenly pauses. "i have an idea. what if we don't actually try to take them on." he looked at you both expectedly.

"what do you mean?" you asked. he rolled his eyes, "we could try to just trap them in here and make our escape." taehyun nods at yeonjun's vague plan, "i get what you mean. before we start though we should take some stuff with us. we got lucky that we're in the nurse's office, we can take stuff in case we get injured."

all three of you split up around the office to pick up anything that might be helpful. "its a good thing i brought my bookbag with me," taehyun chuckles dryly. you pack up all the stuff you grabbed and help him zip up the bag. "ok so here's how we'll go forward with the plan."

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

yeonjun sighs shakily as he crouches behind the door. "this was my plan so why do i have to be the one to open the door?!" he angrily whispers to you. you're hiding behind the nurse's desk which is right beside the door, glaring at him, "just shut up and wait for taehyun's cue. if they hear you, we're screwed."

"will you two stop arguing. if anything i'm the one with the risker job," taehyun glares at you both. he's standing in the middle of the office, just a little bit away from the desk. "let's go over the plan just one more time so nothing unexpected happens," he's nervous and you can hear it in his voice. he's trying to act brave like earlier. yeonjun starts, "simple, i open the door letting the monsters in. they won't notice me since i'm crouched below the window." you sigh, continuing, "once the monsters come running in, i pull the stethoscope attached that chair other there as hard as i can. they'll trip over it sending them tumbling."

taehyun takes a deep breath, "and i'll be standing here as bait. once i see that they're both down, that should give me enough time to run out and shut the door on them." yeonjun bites his lip, "i hope this works...my heart is racing seriously."

since taehyun is now visible from the one lamp shining down on him, the monsters outside now have new adrenaline in them, viciously gnawing at the door's window. you don't realize it but you all take a deep breath.

"3″

"2″

"1!"

as soon as taehyun yells, yeonjun swings the door open. the zombies pretty much bum rush through it to get to taehyun as soon as a slither of it was cracked open, effectively managing to swing the door all the way to the wall. you watch it hit yeonjun's arm roughly and flinch. he tries to hold back a gasp and squeezes his eyes shut.

you turn your attention to your task and pull on the stethoscope. thankfully it's stretchy enough to cause the zombies to trip over it. they tumble over each other and skid across the floor. you get up to run out the door and pull yeonjun with you who's clutching his arm.

however, when you look back taehyun is not behind you, instead, he's scrambling to the nurse's closet. apparently you overestimated the recovery time of a simple stumble to the floor. they managed to get up quickly enough to chase after taehyun who thankfully was also quick enough to notice a flawed plan. "shit!" you yell out before you could think. the zombies turn their attention to you and yeonjun who are standing by the door.

they come running at you but you slam the door shut in their faces. great, now taehyun was in there and you both were out here. not to mention, he's the one with all the supplies.

"damn it!" yeonjun kicks the door in frustration. the zombies are tweaking out watching you both from inside the office. thankfully they don't notice the closet door slowly creep open.

taehyun sneaks out of the closet in a painfully slow manner, as to not get detected. he ducks behind the desk, holding his breath. he waits a moment before rising from his hiding spot and hurling a pack of unopened pens at where the cots are located. you watch the zombies whip their heads toward the sound and clamber in that direction. taehyun crawls out from behind the desk and runs toward the door. the lunch lady, who is behind the nurse, notices taehyun and runs toward him and at full blown speed.

your heart is pounding so fast, it genuinely feels like time is going in slow motion. the monster is only like a foot behind the red-haired boy. you throw the door open for taehyun and he launches himself like the outside hallway is home base. you and yeonjun once again slam the door closed on the zombie who face plants into it with a groan.

you let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding. sliding down to sit on the floor, you glance at taehyun. he's recovering from literally upper body diving out of the room but you figure he's fine since he's used to it from playing baseball so long. yeonjun seems fine too since he's not holding onto his arm anymore.

after a moment, you speak up, "are you ok?" it's not exactly a question directed at either of the two boys. you kind of are just asking yourself that but yeonjun answers anyways, "i think i'm ok, my arm is aching though. the door slammed on me pretty hard but im ok."

taehyun backs himself against the lockers opposite from you too. "i'm fine too." you examine him though you can't see him from the distance and the dimming hallway lights. his face is riddled in sweat and you can kind of see tears running down his face but he notices you staring and harshly wipes them away. he sighs letting his head rest on the lockers.

"i thought that would be easier...i thought i was gonna die back there. thanks for not leaving me," you feel like he means that so you make a noise of acknowledgment. yeonjun also nods at him but doesn't say anything.

it's dead silent in the hallway and you hope it's because the rest of the school is hiding not because they're dead. if you don't think of the circumstances you'd think it's somewhat peaceful.

taehyun breaks the silence, "what if there are other people in here in that same situation." he's not looking at you, he's looking into the abyss of darkness that is your school's hallway. once buzzing with students who you wished would shut the fuck up and move to their next class is now a ghost town. it's eerie and it leaves you with an unsettling feeling just thinking about what hides beyond the darkness.

"fuck no," yeonjun says. he's calm and you hope he doesn't lash out at what taehyun's suggesting. "taehyun..." you mumble. you don't want to say it out loud because you hate how it will sound. well, yeonjun says it for you, "did you hit your head on the way out. you almost died, dude! i know you're having some kind of epiphany about helping others and what not but think about this: those two zombie things aren't the only ones in this school. we could really die in here so we need to get o-"

"shut the fuck up!" taehyun spits. you can tell he's trying not to yell just in case there really are other zombies out here. "do you seriously only care about yourself? what if there really are other people waiting to be helped? we can't just leave them to die in this stupid ass school!" he gets up with some struggle, clutching his wrists again.

"look im not saying you have to help them but it would be really cool if you did...the more people that are alive the more likely we are to survive," with that he starts walking down into the darkness of the hallway. yeonjun scoffs and looks at you. you bite your lip. "i know it's risky...risking our lives for other people but i would feel like shit if i just let people die here while i run off like a coward."

yeonjun watches you run after taehyun. he's now left alone standing outside of the nurse's office. the zombies haven't quieted down and he wonders how much energy they have. he sighs dramatically, running after you both, "hey wait up!"

•·················•·················•

"so where are we headed?" your school isn't that big but it isn't that small either. there are three floors in total but most of the important rooms are on the first floor where you guys are located. taehyun clears his throat, "i was thinking we should get some weapons just in case. the gym's locker room/storage closet is where the team's baseball bats are located, we should be fine against those things if we manage to snag the metal ones."

once he answers you the silence surrounds you three again. you had been walking quite slowly since you didn't know if you'd encounter another zombie soon. it would be better if you could see but the power in the lights seemed to have died out. the school really did feel scarier when the lights were off.

"isn't it still day time outside?" yeonjun randomly asks. now that you think about it, he's right. if you were thinking about the time you took yeonjun to the nurse's office it was around 2 pm. "wait you're right," taehyun stops and turns around. "it was last period when you guys got to the nurse's office."

"damn it, i left my phone in my bookbag," you mumble. you thought it would be a quick trip to the nurse's office so you left it back in the class. yeonjun pats himself down and grumbles, "mine must've fallen out of my pocket during the fight. man, i fucking hate soobin! if i ever see him again he's dead."

you ignore yeonjun and look at taehyun expectantly, "sorry mines dead. i was playing with it while i was waiting for the nurse to come back," he answers sheepishly. you sigh, "we could've called for help since it's not late we could've called our parents or better yet, the police."

"don't worry, i'm sure they'll worry that we aren't coming back from school yet," yeonjun reassures. "i had practice today and my mom doesn't know i broke my wrist so she won't be expecting me home until after practice so i don't think she'll be worried until then."

yeonjun suddenly grabs taehyun's arm. you look at him in alarm because that was really random. this boy has just been full of spontaneous actions lately. "if you had practice today doesn't that mean the team would've been gathered in the gym by now?" a look of realization hits taehyun but he masks it quickly. "they're capable... they wouldn't have been turned into zombies, i'm sure there are some survivors," he sounds like he's trying to convince himself more than you guys.

as you're growing closer to the gym though, taehyun doesn't tell you that he's the best player on the team. he doesn't tell you that none of his other teammates can properly wield a bat. yes, any idiot can hold a bat but to properly swing it for the hit to have an impact takes real practice, practice that his teammates just haven't mastered. he doesn't tell you that he really doesn't think anyone in that gym has survived.

"you hear that?" yeonjun whispers stepping closer to the gym doors. there it goes again, the unmistakable moaning and groaning of the zombies. the sounds are harsher and louder being that there seem to be a lot of people in the gym at once. "damn that must be the team," you mutter. "there's no way anyone in there survived."

"we-we have to try and find out," taehyun tries. you eye him. you really don't think you'll get out of this one alive but you don't tell him that.

"we can cause some kind of distraction like last time," yeonjun suggests. "yeahhh no, im not doing that ever again," taehyun deadpans. "i think he means like what you did with the pens. that seemed to work...i think they react a lot to loud sounds."

there's a moment of silence where you all are just thinking. "your phone!" you turn to taehyun. he raises an eyebrow at you, "it's dead y/n." you shake your head, "look since it's dead and you really won't be needing it, we can just throw it somewhere in the gym. the impact of the phone hitting the wall will alert the zombies and they'll move. then we can maneuver ourselves through the darkness of the gym into the storage room to see if anyone's in there!"

both boys are staring at you with a weird look in their eyes but none of them say what they're really thinking. "that's... actually not a bad idea. the gym is big so there's no way we'll run into one. and since it looks like the lights are off they won't see us if we keep close to the walls," taehyun reiterates.

"ok so let's just get this over with," yeonjun mutters. you look at yeonjun who's staring into the gym, "you didn't have to come with us." you don't wanna sound rude but if he's just gonna complain the whole time then you'd rather be with just taehyun. "yeah right as if i'd venture off on my own in a school full of flesh-eating monsters," he rolls his eyes. "plus i'm the one who comes up with all the good plans, you guys need me."

"whatever," taehyun answers dryly. he's already starting to open the door to the gym, telling you guys that that's your cue to shut up. walking behind yeonjun, who's behind taehyun, you all crouch in a stealthy manner. you wouldn't call yourself the most athletic person but damn, why are your thighs starting to hurt? yeonjun cranes his neck to look back at you and when he sees you struggling to keep up, he slows down.

"what the fuck are you doing?" he whisper-yells. you don't know if the zombies can hear him but that sounded quite loud to you. you glare at him when the groans in the gym increase slightly in volume. "my thighs hurt, just- just leave me alone and tell taehyun to throw the damn phone." you see yeonjun purse his lips but turn to taehyun, telling him to get on with the plan. taehyun looks over to you with confusion and ?concern? written all over his face and all you do is nod at him.

he gets up slightly from his crouched position on the ground, still kind of in a half squat. he lets out a breath, preparing himself to pitch his phone. you watch in awe as you see taehyun get in the zone. you know this is a serious moment and everything but he looks good when he's focused.his eyes are trained on where he's made a mental target to throw to. even in this weird setting of a gym full of zombies of his own teammates, you can see that his breathing is steady.  you wonder why you'd never been to any of the school's home baseball games when you realize that taehyun had somewhat of a cult following. right, just like yeonjun everyone liked him and you just figured it was for nothing or that he was overhyped but you can see why now.

drawing you out of your thoughts was the sound of taehyun's phone crashing against the gym's wall. at the moment in which you were daydreaming about him, he must've thrown it. "ok cmon we gotta hurry, that might not keep them that occupied," taehyun whispers. you turn to look at the zombies which, thankfully, fell for your trick. they were all gathered in the direction where taehyun had thrown his phone. you all rose from your crouched positions and ran the rest of the way to the gym's locker room.

once inside you all let out a breath. "i can't believe that worked," you sigh. "i'm glad it did," yeonjun also sighs. "ok let's go get those bats, once we have them then we might be safe," taehyun leads you both to where he knows they are. walking down the locker room's hallway is even creepier than walking down the normal hallway. there are no windows plus the lights are out so it's even darker in here. once again you're the behind yeonjun who's behind taehyun. you feel uncomfortable and almost feeling like there's an eerie presence behind you. you never liked to be last; the shiver you get through your spine from the mere thought of something following you was weird.

just then you whip your body around but you feel it before you see it. a zombie that must've been in the locker room before you got here hovering over you. you're not sure what happened but it must've flown at you hard enough to knock your body to the ground. it was snapping and snarling in your face trying to get a bite. your eyes were closed but all your other sensed were heightened and you could definitely hear yourself shrieking wildly. you weren't sure what taehyun and yeonjun were doing but you guessed they were standing and staring in shock and horror. you are surely gonna die here.

just then, the back of the zombie's skull was knocked in with so much force that it came out through the front, effectively landing on the upper half of your body and face. just like that, it was no longer trying to devour you, instead, slumping down onto you like a lifeless doll.

you wanted to throw up but you bit it back. you figured the image of you on the floor with blood and a bashed brain spilling out of a once alive human on you was enough. 

the body was thrown off you in an instant and there stood choi beomgyu looking over you with so much concern that you were scared you turned into a zombie and were about to suffer the same fate as the corpse next to you. "oh my god y/n," his eyebrows are furrowed and his mouth is agape. he kneels down to wipe the brain remnants off you but he does it hastily and not that gentle really. you flinch and he pauses, "s-sorry its just that...well i don't know. i didn't think anyone else was alive and then i see you but you're about to get eaten so i mean-." you cut him off with a shaky hand lifted when you realize he's rambling.

he wants to go in to hug you and shout for joy that thankfully his crush- i mean... thankfully you are alive but yeonjun steps in, "dude oh my god y/n, are you okay?" you don't turn around to look at him or taehyun because frankly, you're too shaken up to even stand.

"thank you beomgyu," you whisper the expression and you kind of hope it sounds spiteful towards the other two boys for not really doing anything to help. taehyun looks down and bites his lip and yeonjun just looks at you. beomgyu smiles lightly and helps you stand and when you turn around you see the other two boys flinch at what you look like.

you know you must look horrifying with blood all over you and you want to cry. not because you look absolutely disgusting in front of the two of the most popular boys at your school but because you almost died in front of them. you let out a sob and taehyun steps forward but beomgyu is already ahead of him. "oh y/n... it's ok. look," he wipes your face with his shirt and you feel even worse. "we're alive, you're alive, it's gonna be ok."

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

taglist: @fxd-skz​ (send ask to be added!)

[simpsiren]

Not every day.

wong yukhei x reader

description. After coming home from a failed date, I found a stranger drinking and sitting on my sofa. The stranger explained that he’s a Cupid and he’s about to get fired because of my inability to get a second date.

genre. angst, fluff, cupid au

word count. 1.5k~

warnings. nonee

a/n. struggled with coming up an idea and i just saw this prompt so i decided to use it chxndndn i might have a continuation since this is interesting in my opinion but we’ll see since im starting to get hella busy :( but ENJOY!

I found myself dragging my feet down the dark streets of my town. How’d I even end up here? I was having a date with the guy I met on Instagram just a few hours ago. I scoffed to myself, thinking about how I got dumped yet again. I dated him for at least three months. And just like that, I was thrown away by him. One night, one big blow.

Though at this point, I was too tired to think anymore. I already had a long day at work. And just as I thought I was about to have a relaxing night with a lover, I guess that’s how I ended up in this situation. I didn’t have him drive me as he’d always would so I had to walk home. My slouched posture and slow steps inched closer and closer to my apartment.

I stopped, letting out a sad sigh as I looked up to the sky and closed my eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath to inhale the cold night air. “Why are you like this...” I muttered under my breath. Life has been stable for me don’t get me wrong. I guess the only problem to the completion of my successful life was the absence of a successful lover.

I continued walking till I ended up at the front of my doorstep. I dug a hand into my purse lazily to find my keys, eventually grabbing it from the bottom below all my other necessities and took it out. I unlocked the door in the split of a second, knowing that this was the last obstacle I had to go through before I could just pass out.

I locked the door behind me as I entered, throwing my shoes carelessly off to one corner. I didn’t bother turning on the lights as I stepped in, immediately making my way to my room.

“Rough night?”

I froze in my spot. Did I hear that correctly? I was too scared to turn around. The voice sounded like it came from the living room. I gulped nervously, thinking that it’s all in my head and that I was just hearing things.

I shuffled my feet deeper into the hallway, only to have the same voice sound out a, “Aren’t you going to acknowledge me?”

“It’s not every day you get to meet me.” I heard him say, but I didn’t even take it into consideration with what I said next since I was starting to get panicky.

I spun around sharply, dropping my purse and holding both hands up in the air. I shut my eyes closed, my lips pursed into a thin line. “I didn’t see your face. You can rob anything you want. I won’t report you so please get out.” I scrambled out of fear that shook under my skin, thinking it was some robber.

The person doesn’t answer and instead kept quiet for a whole twenty seconds before he bursted out laughing. Not the sinister or intimidating kind, but the one that actually expressed that the person thought that I was genuinely being funny.

“You think I want to steal? I have way better valuables.”

Slowly but surely, I opened my eyes. It took awhile for them to adjust in the darkness but once they did, I saw a figure sitting casually on the couch, legs crossed with one hand sitting on his thigh while the other rested over the back pillow. His posture looked relaxed and lazy.

I blinked my eyes rapidly. Unsure if what I was seeing in front of me was even real. A stranger is in my house. “Who the fuck are you?” I asked, now that I knew he wasn’t a robber out to rob who knows what since I didn’t even have anything of value here, I had the slightest bit of confidence to sound angry and or annoyed.

He chuckled, which gave me a questionable look with my head tilted just a few degrees to the side. “I’m a Cupid. Heard you got thrown off the man’s list and I’m about to get fired if I don’t help you.” My mouth gaped open as I tried to repeat his words to myself in my head. Cupid? Those actually existed? And one’s sitting right in front of me?

With a sudden snap of his fingers, the living room light was switched on and it revealed him. He had his hair braided to the back, wearing a white shirt wifh tons of pearl necklaces all in different sizes and lengths under an expensive white blazer jacket that had extreme textured details to it. Yet, he wore plain light washed jeans and black sneakers, which didn’t affect his overall high class outfit. Not to mention his very beautiful and charming face. I would have done a double take if I saw him on the streets.

“Uh what? Cupid? Is there something wrong up there? Need me to take you to a mental institution?” I asked, bringing my hand up to my head and tapping my index finger beside it lightly. He looked at me with an unimpressed look on his face.

“Or should I call the police? Cause’ you’re a stranger in my house and that’s called a break in.” He cocked his chin up, scoffing loud and arrogantly. “Didn’t I tell you that I’m Cupid? People can’t even see me. Unless I make myself visible that is.”

“Anyways believe or not, yes I’m Cupid. Specifically your Cupid. And I’ve been tasked to make sure you get a second date or else I lose my job. You get it?”

I ran a hand through my hair furiously as I tried to suck in all this sudden information that’s just been thrown at me. I couldn’t believe it at first. But he seemed so real, I couldn’t be imagining things.

“So I call you Cupid?” I voiced shook a little as I tried to speak up, my confidence dying ever so slightly as I took into consideration that this is real and it sounds like it’s no joking manner from the way he explained himself ealier.

“Lucas will do, thank you.” I sighed, not sure what to do with the current situation. My plan of plopping myself onto my bed and knocking out has now been completely thrown out the window. I really wished that I could just walk away from all this and do so.

“Um I honestly have no brain power to process any of this...” I swirled my hand around his figure lazily. “This shit. So can we do it tomorrow or something?” I groaned, rubbing my temples as my eyes began to feel heavy, the sleepiness already starting to kick in.

He didn’t answer but rather stood up and walked towards me slow and steady. My head tilted down slightly but I still saw his footsteps drawing in closer with his hands shoved in his jeans. “Sure. But I don’t have much time. The Neos won’t be happy if I don’t get this done.”

“Neos?” Great, another information that I accidentally asked about and now Lucas has to explain it though I think it’s going to be irrelevant.

“Its basically the other Cupids. We’re called Neos from NeoZone. It gets confusing since we all have different roles so you aren’t needed to know that.” I heaved a sigh. Thank God.

“Wait there are other Cupids?” The sudden question hit me as I tilted my head up to meet his gaze, brow raised. Lucas hummed and nodded simply.

I pucker my lips as I gave it a second thought. “Are there any other hot Cupids than you?” A slight smirk appeared on my lips. Not sure where I was heading by asking these questions if I’m being fully honest here.

“You think I’m not hot enough?” Lucas let out an exasperated gasp as he placed his hand on his chest, puffing it up as his mouth gaped open. “I mean the other Cupids are too popular and are currently too busy.”

Lucas folded his arm, weight shifting from one leg to the other as his head tilted to the side, giving me a blank and cold expression. “So you’ll have to make do with me.” He gave a cheeky eye smile afterward, which made me laugh due to how sudden the change was.

“Don’t even think of falling in love with a Cupid anyways even if you did get the popular ones. That’s already dangerous.” Lucas added. I narrowed my eyes on him, squinting them as I leaned my body forward. “How so?”

Lucas huffed, placing a hand on his forehead. “We’re suppose to help people in terms of love and romantic relationships. Falling in love as a Cupid would cause major disruption. It happened before.”

Lucas paused for a moment, looking up in the sky for a moment as if recalling something to add on. “The cupid has to become a human if they were to be in love with another human. Basically giving up their wings and abilities, advantages.”

“And trust me. I do not want that.”

“It’s not like we’re falling in love.”

I shrugged plainly. But boy was I extremely wrong as I went on the journey with Lucas, our objective and main purpose slowly shifting into something else the more we spent time together.

[incorrectzutaraquotes]

let’s talk racial micro aggressions, because i’ve been seeing a lot of them being used online toward people speaking out about racism and even in fandoms unfortunately, so i think it’s time we have a talk. this is gonna be a semi long one, so buckle up.

just for reference, im asian american. because of that i’ve gone my entire life experiencing racism and discrimination simple because im not white. of course, i have definitely had it better than a lot of people, but that doesn’t take away from my experiences at all. i grew up hating the way i looked, trying to fix myself because i genuinely thought something was wrong with me. this led to years and years of insecurity and self hatred. something i had to go through alone, because my family was white and i was too afraid to tell them how i felt. i was afraid they wouldn’t understand. it’s still something i struggle with, though it’s gotten better.

growing up, as stated before, i was around white people. growing up in a very white town, i unfortunately wasn’t formally educated on racism or what micro aggressions were, i just knew that certain comments made me uneasy and uncomfortable, and hurt my feelings. it wasn’t until i was older, when i started using social media that i really came to understand what all of this was. 

a lot of you who have white privilege are using it to uplift bipoc voices, and i think that’s great. however it’s also important to acknowledge that many people who are actively anti racist still have implicit biases, which can lead to microaggressions.

first of all, what are microaggressions? you may or may not be familiar with the term. if you’re not, that’s okay! you can use this post to educate yourself and make sure you don’t make these mistakes in the future. microaggressions are defined as brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioural, or environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative prejudicial slights and insults toward any group, particularly culturally marginalized groups.

basically, intentional or unintentional derogatory and prejudice behaviors directed towards marginalized groups.

these are very harmful to marginalized groups, mostly because they’re not as blatant as outright racism, misogyny, homophobia, etc. this makes it often hard to detect, and you may have found yourself using micro aggressions at some point in your life. that’s not important though, what’s important is that, if you have used them in the past, you understand what you said or did was wrong, and that you learn from it.

now, what are specific racial micro aggressions? i’ve compiled a list of them under the cut, and explained why these are insulting and harmful to poc.

“where are you really from” – this insinuates that we will always be seen as foreigners, and not citizens to our own country. it brings on a feeling of not being good enough and that we will not be accepted. 

“not everything’s about race” – if you’re white stop telling bipoc how to feel about race. we are tired of it. please don’t speak over us when we are expressing our discomfort. if poc people are telling you something is racist, it’s racist. stop trying to argue with us, as you are not the ones being affected by it. 

“your food is so weird” – it’s only weird to you because it hasn’t been westernized or americanized. insisting that foreign foods are weird or gross because you aren’t used to it, is hurtful. it’s insulting. 

“all asians look the same” – by saying this, you’re taking away our individuality. asia is a huge continent, not all of us follow the same traditions and not all of us look the same. it’s not a funny joke, and it never has been. 

“you’re pretty for a *insert any race here*” – this is just such a backhanded compliment. it implies that we are not typically or conventionally pretty. it has the same negative connotations as saying “you’re really good...for a girl”. that’s misogynistic for the same reasons saying this is racist. 

“i don’t see color” – again, you’re basically erasing our individuality and culture and telling us we shouldn’t embrace it. many pocs even completely distance themselves from their cultures to seek white validation, which is in every sense of the word, upsetting. people want to fit in so bad that they’re willing to leave behind their entire culture. something that sucks about being adopted at such a young age from a white family, is that i have never had a connection with my culture. i know nothing about it, and that hurts. i rationalized in my head that the reason i didn’t learn about it sooner was because i was happy, but that was a lie i told myself for years. the sad thing is, is that because i wasn’t connected to my culture at all, i fit in better and had an easier time making friends then other pocs in my school. 

assuming all asian people are smart or good at math – stop. it’s not funny. never has been. the stereotype that all asians are smart is not a compliment, and puts a lot of pressure on us as individuals. it objectifies us, assuming we are more like machines and not actual people. long story short, it’s dehumanizing. 

“im not/cant be racist i have black friends” – contrary to popular belief, yes you can be. you can still have a racial bias while being friends with bipoc people. being associated with poc people doesn’t suddenly mean you’re not racist. you may even make racist jokes and think it’s okay because they don’t tell you to stop. just because they are seemingly unbothered does not mean it’s not still racist. a lot of times we are uncomfortable in situations like that, but are too afraid to speak up in fear of our feelings being invalidated or being told to lighten up because it’s just a joke. saying we’re too sensitive when it comes to making mockeries of our races and cultures, is also a micro aggression. 

saying “you people” or “y’all” when talking, usually negatively, about a person of a specific race – you’re generalizing an entire group because of one bad experience which is just contributing to the stereotypes and racism we face daily. one or a few bad interactions with a person of a different race does not speak for an entire population.

clutching your bag tight when a poc person, usually black or latinx, stands next to you or following them in the store – the way i still have to explain this one in 2020. they are not criminals, but by doing this, you’re contributing to the stereotype that they are all criminals and thugs, which simply isn’t true. this stereotype is very damaging and harmful, as it also contributes to the systematic oppression of those people. 

assuming someone only got a certain job or position because they’re bipoc – this insinuates that we did not work hard to get where we are, and that we did not deserve what we got. we simply got it because we aren’t white. affirmative action comes up a lot in this conversation. all affirmative action does is help decide between equally qualified people by favoring the ones who suffer from discrimination in society, but it does not reserve spots for them.

assuming someone knows how to speak mandarin because they’re asian – asia is a large continent with A LOT of languages and cultures. not everyone is chinese. not everyone speaks the same language. it’s insulting and adds to the already hurtful stereotype that all asians look the same.

“you speak english really well” or “how did you learn to speak english so well” – it’s called practicing because people have been making fun of those with accents for years, simply because they are not used to it. being surprised when a poc speaks english well implies that you may think because they’re not white, they are less educated. we’ve simply assimilated because our cultures are constantly rejected and mocked by white people and even other pocs. this also contributes to the notion that westerners are more “civilized” or that they are better, because they(generally speaking this obviously doesn’t apply to everyone)make no effort to learn our cultures, but we have to learn theirs in order to be seen as “acceptable”.

“but *insert race* are racist too” or pointing out immoral things other countries do when people of that race speak up about racism - you’re redirecting the conversation to avoid responsibility. you don’t actually care about those issues, you just want to invalidate our struggles by pointing out that a place many of us have not been to in a long time, or ever, is very flawed. we have no say in what that government chooses to do. not all places are a democracy, and many democracies around the world are flawed.

something important to remember is that anyone can be guilty of implicit bias and micro aggressions. this is not selective to one race. 

if you have anymore of these, please feel free to add on. also, if you’re a poc and something i wrote made you uncomfortable, please tell me. i want to make sure im being truthful with what i said. i did do research for some of these, and some were based on personal experiences, but if you want to add to something or you want me to change or delete something do not hesitate to call me out. 

unfortunately they and other racial stereotypes are very prevalent in american media, which has normalized it in our society. this post is solely meant to educate if you weren’t previously aware of the dangers micro aggressions have on minorities. i started the list because i was tired of seeing so much normalized racism online, but i hope you learned something useful with this. if you stuck around this long, thank you for listening. i appreciate it a lot. 

as for my zutara fans, i apologize for making so many rant posts rather than posting incorrect quotes. i just feel like im able to reach a larger audience with the platform i have on this account than any other one. 

anyway, that’s all. thank you again for listening :) 

[a-little-slice-of-fandom]

In derry girls, what did you think of the episode where clare came out? Im irish (republic) and gay so i love that it was included, but some of the language used makes me uncomfortable i guess? I get that NI in the 90s wasnt very accepting but the directors have said that they already portrayed it through rose coloured glasses so having michelle say d*ke feels unnecessary. I love the show though and can certainly look past it! I was just interested in what you thought :)))

Hey anon!

Personally I love this episode of Derry Girls! In fact it’s probably my favourite episodes. I already liked Clare as a character throughout the series, probably because I relate to her a bit too much, so to have her be revealed as gay was just like the icing on the cake. Good representation for northern Irish characters are few and far between, and gay northern Irish characters are basically non existent. Derry Girls was this hit TV show that provided many with the first chance to see themselves represented meaningfully on TV, and that includes myself.

However, I think there’s a lot of really important stuff in this episode that people either don’t notice or just don’t really talk about, which I do understand because Derry Girls is, at the end of the day, a comedy and it’s much more fun to quote characters like Aunt Sarah saying “you cannot move for lesbians these days” than to think about the darker side of Northern Ireland.

(T/W for homophobia discussion!!!)

(Also this sort of turned into a ramble about acceptance by the end of the post but I just have a lot of feelings on what Derry girls represents and I feel like non northern Irish viewers maybe don’t catch onto that because they don’t have the necessary context)

Derry Girls, as a show, is so interesting and personal to me because it manages to perfectly strike the balance between presenting Northern Ireland as a deeply flawed and divided country, but also presenting it as a place where people can be happy and live their lives to the fullest despite the ever present danger of the troubles. And that’s a genuinely refreshing portrayal of N.I that we usually don’t get. However I’d argue that if Derry Girls doesn’t at least try and illustrate, to some extent, the causal and very rampant homophobia of northern Ireland then it runs the risk of romanticising Northern Ireland at the time, which I think is incredibly dangerous. I do think that the show is intentionally more digestible and does filter things through rose tinted glasses, however I’d argue that simply glossing over the homophobia would have actually been a bit disrespectful to the queer history of Northern Ireland and could erase the experiences and struggles of the LGBTQ community in N.I, both then and now. If the show doesn’t acknowledge that things were shitty then we paint an inaccurate picture of what it was like, and arguably still is like, to be gay in Northern Ireland. And considering that Derry Girls is one of the very few good depictions of Northern Ireland, it’s incredibly important that it’s an honest depiction.

You specifically asked about Michelle, but I think it’s important to talk about Michelle and Erin in relation to one another, and how they are both products of their time and of a deeply homophobic society.

(Now I’m going to briefly discuss Michelle’s use of the d-slur here however I just want to acknowledge that I’m probably not the best person to talk about this since it’s a lesbian specific slur and I’m not a lesbian. I welcome any additions to this post!)

I think Michelle sort of represents the overt and “loud” homophobia that’s present in our society. Michelle saying the d-slur is far from the first homophobic thing she says. I mean It’s literally a running gag in series one that she calls James “gay” constantly. And the sad thing is that Michelle’s off handed comments throughout the series are incredibly realistic to what you’d hear in Northern Ireland even today. I remember the f-slur being chanted during break time at my primary school, without anyone fully understanding what that word meant. Michelle is a representation of the homophobia that’s deeply ingrained into N.I to the point where it’s not even thought about or even seen as an issue. I mean...no one ever really talks about Michelle’s comments. Now whether or not they had to include her saying a slur specifically to illustrate the homophobia of N.I is not for me to say. You could change that sentence in the script and I think the point of Michelle representing “loud” and homophobia would still stand.

On the other hand...I think Erin represents the much more insidious and “quiet” homophobia.

Firstly, she has no issue with capitalising off a very personal essay for her own gain, shrugs off any protests that this might be wrong and doesn’t consider how her actions may hurt the writer of this piece (who is later revealed to be Clare).

Even the language she uses is a bit uncomfortable, saying that “a real life lesbian walks among us”. Are lesbians wild animals or mythical creatures? That seems to be what Erin is implying here. Plus Erin tries to make it out to others such as Sister Michael that she’s doing this because she genuinely believes in equal rights and wishes to stick up for the LGBT community, but when Clare actually tries to come out Erin is clearly confused and she reacts very badly. I mean, Erin literally says she doesn’t want Clare to come out and demands she get back in the closet, and you can see how hurt Clare is by this reaction. And this scene is kind of played for laughs and I think that straight viewers probably found Erin’s reaction quite funny...but this scene hit way too close to home for me. It’s the classic “I have nothing against gay people, but I’d just rather I didn’t have a gay friend/child/co-worker because they make me uncomfortable” that’s way too common in Northern Ireland. It’s the idea that people can present themselves as liberal and open minded, but when finally confronted with something that doesn’t fit their narrative, their societal conditioning kicks in.

As a queer woman, it was never Michelle’s causal homophobia that made me uncomfortable, it was Erin’s reaction...because it hit way too close to home. It’s a perfect representation of the “quiet” homophobia that’s still a massive issue in Northern Ireland today.

(Also the context of when Derry Girls was released is super important! Series one of Derry Girls was released in 2018...but Gay marriage wasn’t actually legalised in Northern Ireland until January of 2020 and even then it was quite contested by conservatives. Now I’m not saying there’s social commentary here but that’s absolutely what I’m saying.)

Now I’m not saying that Michelle or Erin themselves are homophobic, nor am I saying that they’re bad people. I think that they are teenagers that have absorbed a lot of homophobic rhetoric due to the time and the society that they live in. Although Erin’s reaction to Clare trying to come out was painful to watch because it felt so real, I don’t think her reaction was malicious. Erin is a teenager who has grown up in a homophobic society and now doesn’t really know how to react to this new reality and probably didn’t realise how hurtful she was being to Clare. (This isn’t me trying to excuse her reaction, again I am part of the LGBT community and I’ve experienced that exact same reaction from people, it’s me trying to understand Erin’s reaction). Erin and Michelle have both absorbed rhetoric from their deeply homophobic society, and unfortunately this rhetoric continues.

Plus I just want to comment on this idea of acceptance and change in Derry Girls. Derry Girls is set in the time of great change in Northern Ireland, where people were sort of starting to accept that people are allowed to be British or Irish or both. But this process was messy and it wasn’t instantaneous. And the acceptance of the LGBTQ community in Northern Ireland was the exact same. It didn’t just happen overnight. It was a slow and messy process of change, of people re-evaluating their previous beliefs and being given the chance to grow as people and to learn how to accept others. That’s not to say people haven’t made mistakes in the past, because they have, but they’re willing to take the steps to change. I‘ve always thought the LGBTQ subplot of Derry Girls is sort of a parallel to the overall process of change in Northern Ireland in a political sense. And I think that flies over so many people’s heads because they don’t have that context of the political situation in N.I.

(And this theme of acceptance is seen again in the series finale of series 2 with James! ✨ Thematic consistency ✨ )

Because at the end of the day, Clare is accepted by the group. In fact, we see both the teenagers and the adults actively take steps to make her feel loved, welcome and accepted. My favourite moment will always be Granda Joe saying “you’re a very talented people” to Clare in the most earnest voice. Clare is still loved by her friends and although they don’t exactly know what they’re doing, they do try and show their support for her. They absolutely make mistakes, and they did hurt Clare, but they’re trying and I think that stands for a lot, especially at the time.

And I think all of what I discussed was absolutely necessary to Derry Girls. Derry Girls might be a somewhat rose tinted portrayal of Derry in the troubles, but it never tries to romanticise the situation that the teenagers were in (because no one should be romanticising the troubles). I think that this stance of portraying the harsh reality of homophobia in N.I is equally important to the narrative of Derry Girls. I see my own experiences in Clare, despite the fact it’s 30 years later, so if they didn’t at least attempt to show the homophobia in Ireland it would have felt disingenuous and too “perfect”. Again, I’m not saying that Michelle using the d slur was the right way to go about showing the “loud” homophobia of Northern Ireland. That’s not my decision to make. However, just because Derry Girls is making efforts to present Northern Ireland in a more digestible way to audiences (especially non northern Irish audiences) doesn’t mean they shouldn’t also acknowledge the reality of Northern Ireland at the time.

(This all kind of makes it sound like I want Clare to get hate crimed which I obviously do not want. I think the way that Derry Girls showed the issues in Northern Ireland were perfect and very much necessary, minus the use of the d-slur specifically which wasn’t necessary to the plot.)

Anyway thank you so much for the ask anon! This was much more rambly than my usual posts but I just really have a lot of opinions on Derry girls because it does mean a lot to me and it often does hit close to home.