#while being convinced he’s like 50% zombie

[squarecloud73]

*I worship you Tumblr please don’t remove it

Picky eater

[bucketspammer4life]

★ the boxers playing minecraft ★

me when i mine the craft or something

★ glass joe ★

lost, doesn't know anything and is struggling

got killed by bees 10 minutes into the game because he accidentally whacked a bee

collecting flowers and just giving them to everyone when hes bored

horrible at combat, would die even if you gave him literally everything

just kinda robs villagers for fun

keeps getting killed by aran to the point where its not funny anymore

★ von kaiser ★

was doing great until it became night, was running like his life depended on it

somehow got to the nether early, broke his portal and got stuck until he threw himself into lava

keeps forgetting to sleep and is constantly being chased by phantoms

has 50 stacks of bread somehow, willing to share

screamed when he first found a squid while swimming, thought it was aggresive

keeps wandering into places he knows damn well he'll get wrecked at

★ disco kid ★

doing very well, just forgot his base's door open once and had the worst experience of his life but everything else is fine

had to carry joe & kaiser through the game but gave up when Kaiser got sent to the nether somehow

likes doing water bucket trips, convinced joe he could do it with a milk bucket and laughed at him for a while

keeps throwing hands with don for no reason

became a beast once he found note blocks and discs

★ king hippo ★

absolute menace, likes building traps around his base to keep others out, got a business building traps for others in exchange for resources

just got lots of resources, built a cute house, got a dog and just farmed for fun, sometimes has other boxers come into his nice little house

stealing joe's flowers for his aesthetic house

chased bear hugger across the map for fun

★ piston hondo ★

actually finishing the game, practically speedrunning it

was the first one to get a full set of diamond, really happy about it

stealing everything from the villagers, down to the houses and everything

struggling with redstone

tried to build a exp farm but accidentally crashed his computer

Has a army of bees he uses terrorize everyone

★ bear hugger ★

goofing around and just chatting with everyone for funsies

got killed by a pufferfish while trying to kill it

secretly adds onto Disco's stone pile by adding 1 (one) stone every time he adds another one

has 30 crafting tables and is hayr hiding them in everyone elses bases

throws eggs at Hippo everytime he tries to chase him again

fistfighting fish in the sea like they killed his family or something

★ great tiger ★

just breaks into everyone elses bases sometimes to say hello or show them some stuff he got

somehow surviving without a base

had his diamonds stolen by hondo for speedrunning purposes

got a cat and takes care of it like its his child, anyone who attempts to hurt it gets griefed to death

scared of the sounds coming from the mines

tried to sleep in the nether, 10 dead 20 injured

extremely invested in the "bear hugger fighting fish" saga

★ don flamenco ★

trying to build the cutest house ever, keeps getting it griefed by Hippo, there can only be one pretty house in this server

went to the end early somehow and got his ass kicked by the dragon

tried to eat rotten flesh and died. twice

tried to join Tiger in the mines but he kept screaming from the sounds so Tiger chased him away

set Hippos house on fire at one point

★ aran ryan ★

absolutely devious, keeps setting everyone on fire, trapped Kaiser in the nether

demolished Disco kids base, by demolished i mean took EVERYTHING down, including the walls and everything and only left his bed there

keeps hiding spider spawners under dons house for fun

Hondo and Hippo teamed up to kill him but failed thanks to the questionable amount of tnt he has

may or may not have creative mod on

★ soda popinski ★

doing his best but keeps getting unlucky, every zombie targets him, hondo keeps taking his food and has the worst rng ever

keeps fighting macho, has a very bad arena like area near his base where just fights people inside it,bare hands only

had a pet fox that jumped DIRECTLY into lava the second he got it, had a funeral for it & everything

Got struck by lightning 2 times in a row somehow

★ bald bull ★

Just attacking everyone & everything with everything hes got

likes robbing aran specifically for his stash of weapons & tnt

got trapped by aran in bedrock jail when he went afk, aran was generous enough to give him some food & a bed, got his jail titled "bald dude enclosure"

got chased by dogs after he hit one accidentally

fighting soda & macho for fun

★ super macho man ★

hanging out with soda and bugging him

laughed at a house he built for 10 minutes because it looked ugly, its a landmark for everyone now along with "bald dude enclosure"

tried to kill a iron golem after he found it coming for him while he tried to kill a villager

turned on creative mode and just built himself the iconic diamond house and just toured the place

★ mr sandman ★

actually beat the ender dragon & focused on the game but that didnt stop him from robbing others occassionally for fun

keeps having sand blocks given to him with the message "This you?"

audibly screamed "NOOO" When he saw bear hugger lose the fight against the pufferfish

Has a underground base that Tiger somehow found instantly

thinks the enchanting table looks pretty

kept throwing stuff at bull while he was in bald dude enclosure

[scoobydoodean]

So I did a poll on this not that long ago, but now that I have finished 3.15 on this rewatch, I thought I'd give my two cents on what Sam was planning in terms of using Doc Benton's alchemy to make himself and Dean immortal. I think the following details are pretty damn important.

First, Sam lies to Dean about his sense about the case. He does so by omission—he "neglects" to state that he thinks Doc Benton is responsible for the bodies that are turning up and lets Dean believe they're hunting zombies. But Sam knew this was Doc Benton—or at least he heavily suspected it. This is why, when the coroner shows them the latest victim has been cut with the precision of a scalpel, not teeth, Sam starts to look excited. Of course, Sam also admits he suspected Benton all along after Dean confronts him about it. Sam denies it at first but does a bad job of covering his dishonesty because he's not very good at lying to Dean. Now—one possible interpretation here is that Sam "didn't want to get Dean's hopes up". Sam sort of implies this when he says, "I didn't wanna say anything until I was sure". But... Sam thought they were dealing with Benton, and given that John had had a previous run-in with Benton, it actually would have been extremely easy to convince Dean to go on this case without lying about who the M.O. was actually suggesting to Sam. Which to me, means... maybe not wanting to get Dean's hopes up is what Sam tells himself, but... it's not a particularly logical or sensible explanation. Sam could have easily concealed his interest in Benton's alchemy while admitting he thought it was Benton from the get go.

The reason I think Sam doesn't admit it is at least partly that he wants to slowly ease Dean into the idea of studying Benton's alchemy. He (rightly I think) assumes that Dean isn't going to like what Doc Benton does, and the longer Dean has to think about Doc Benton and what exactly he does, and the longer Dean is in "hunter" mode with Benton as his targeted prey, the more disgusted and wrathful Dean's going to become. Sam thinks that if he can direct the narrative a little, where they're "stumbling" across a possible method of saving Dean, he can warm Dean up to the idea of looking into Benton's science—science that Sam knows is very likely to involve some really fucked up shit.

This leads me to a second important detail, which is how exactly Sam thinks this immortality thing "buying them time" is going work:

I mean, we're talking hell in three weeks. Or needing a new pancreas in like half a century...

But... this is argument is predicated upon a completely false premise. There are two things Sam and Dean both know without a shadow of a doubt at this point in time:

Hell hounds are coming for Dean in three weeks and they're going to rip his body to shreds.

Nothing about Benton's method of achieving immortality prevents his body from being torn to pieces. That's the entire reason he's been harvesting people's organs for decades in the first place. Parts get damaged or start falling apart, and then Benton has to replace them.

So when Sam refers to a pancreas Dean's going to need in "half a century", he is completely denying a very obvious reality. It isn't going to be 50 years. It's going to be three weeks, and then Dean's going to be torn apart, and then he is going to need a whole slew of new body parts and organs. In other words, when Sam refers to some pancreas Dean is going to need in 50 years, he is either stupid, fully in denial because he's so desperate to find a way to save Dean, or is basically shouting, "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain" hoping Dean won't catch onto the very inconvenient flaw in Sam's plan.

Personally, I don't think Sam is stupid. I also don't think his initial attempts to conceal who he thought was the culprit in the case he found lend to reading this in a way where Sam doesn't actually grasp the consequences.

In 3.11 Mystery Spot, we saw Sam say "Then let's go get some" when Not!Bobby said they could summon Gabriel to get revenge for Dean by finding someone and bleeding them dry for a spell. And we'll see Sam make more plays, going forward, where yes, other people might bite it so his brother can live... but that's a sacrifice Sam is willing to make.

That said, my personal opinion of what Sam was really thinking in 3.15 actually falls somewhere between Sam being in denial and Sam very much understanding the consequences of the plan he's forming and being okay with those consequences. I think in a sense, both are true. On the one hand, I think Sam knew deep down exactly what he was willing to do to keep Dean alive. On the other hand, I don't think Sam ever looked at his own reflection in the mirror on this. Sam suggesting Dean won't need an organ for 50 years and they're just "buying time" somehow isn't just what Sam wants Dean to believe so maybe he'll agree... it's what Sam needs to believe too as he slowly eases himself into the idea of using Benton's alchemy.

[devious-crow]

today's dream is gonna be long

today i had a dream that there was a zombie apocalypse. and i was stranded in the ruins of my apartment, surrounded by zombies. the people with me I think we're my ex and my mother.

it was a constant battle, I kept going from place to place and trying to not let them in, I even lost my fucking gun once (I FORGOT WHERE I PUT IT. MY DREAM SELF IS NOT IMMUNE TO ADHD MAN) and i had to fight the zombie with my bare hands and like a small pocket knife..

then it became so unbearable we had to pack our shit and run. cus we were borderline starving for weeks, only eating stale veggies and canned shit. no meat, no eggs, no nothing. zero protein. we didn't have legit malnutrition, but we were on a thin thread from it.

so we ran, the world for some reason transformed. there was A HUGE MALL, more like one singular huge store, and there were Employees!!! and zombies as well!! those ppl were working and sorting stuff, and they even wore uniforms. me and my companions split up, but I grouped up with two other ppl.

we tried to get to the top floor of this store. all while helping the employees a little bit with sorting and being chased by zombies. we eventually got there, and ended up on the roof, and there was a crashed plane. there were seats inside, but more than 50% of the seats were cleared up to place... a kitchen! there was a chef, and as we walked in he asked us what we wanted to eat.

it was like a little show, he would prepare our food in front of us. I was flabbergasted. I thought the society devolved into nothingness, but there was a huge mall, that was never there, and there was an irl cooking show? I wonder if they had internet still in some places.

ofc i ordered a medium well steak and eggs. because I've been craving both for months. while he was cooking i tried to get to know other people, but everyone was leaving because they already had their fill and we're on their way.

but there was a man. he was familiar.. but I couldn't place my finger on it. his hair was blonde, and he didn't have some of his limbs. he was wearing uniform. I said hello and sheepishly asked, if he's been to war or if the apocalypse did that to him. he hesitated, looked at me, and asked me not to bring up all that. I apologized.

he ordered a medium well steak as well, and some macaroni with cheese. he asked for big macaroni and to put cheese inside each.

he was accompanied by some woman. I didn't have a chance to talk to her.

I ofc didn't ask any questions because chef seemed kind but a little unstable, so I didn't wanna bother him, since my other companions left me alone, and i couldn't get myself in trouble.

later I said my goodbyes and regrouped with my mother. we went on, to search for more safe places. then I had a realization. the man was my father. the man in the crashed plane restaurant !! was my dad. I didn't recognize him because of his bleached hair and bc of the scarring on his face!!!

I started telling that to my mother because all these months we were stranded she convinced me my father had abandoned me and that he would've come back already if he wanted to. but I was concerned, because it hasn't been that long. why didn't he say anything? why was he an amputee now? what happened?

then i woke up

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 20, part three(!)

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

This episode has so much crucially important stuff in it I had to write 3 posts about it! Part one is here, part two is here. 

Don't Start None, Won't Be None

Lan Wangji has never had a real fight with Wei Wuxian before--remember, in their rooftop fight Wei Wuxian never even drew his sword. And since this is going to be a verbal fight, Lan Wangji is going to lose, badly. He's an elegant and articulate speaker, but he's not quick with words, and he speaks directly and sincerely. Weaponized speech is not his area at all, so he's pretty much bringing a knife to a gunfight. A guqin to a flute fight. Whatever. He tries to turn it into a physical confrontation, twice, but Jiang Cheng holds him back.

This throwdown is 100% about religion and orthodoxy; something that is fundamental to both of these young men's lives. Lan Wangji has made it his mission to be as orthodox as possible, doing shit like volunteering to be beaten for drinking when he didn't choose to drink. He's constantly overwhelmed by emotion, and the Lan rules are a source of regulation and safety for him. His emotions around Wei Wuxian are among the most overwhelming he's got, possibly only second to his feelings about his mom.

Right now his feelings are extra overwhelming. 

It's complicated because his relationship with Wei Wuxian literally started off with him punishing Wei Wuxian for heterodoxy. All that time they spent together in the library? Was because Wei Wuxian talked--JUST talked--about using resentful energy for cultivation. Which is precisely the ability he's just shown them, along with a style of killing enemies that's borderline evil and definitely, DEFINITELY unsportsmanlike.

So this is not, Lan Wangji is lovingly worried about Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian is pushing him away to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. This is Lan Wangji freaking out because his entire system of belief is being challenged and he's in love with the person who's challenging it.  

Wei Wuxian has shown up to the party wearing an International Mr. Leather tee shirt with a enamel pin stuck to it that says "I get my kicks on route 666" and Lan Wangji just. cannot. deal.  

Never Start a Fight But Always Finish One

Wei Wuxian has a couple of options here. One is to accept, kindly, that he and his friend can't be friends any more because of religion. In this option, in order to preserve his friend's comfortable sense of being right, he would have to tacitly accept that he himself is bad in some way, and allow his friend to keep having his value system, while walking away from him.  

The other choice is to hit so hard that he makes his friend feel really, really bad, and potentially rocks him off of his comfortable foundation. In the short term, the friendship breaks, but if it forces him to actually question his value system, it might lay the groundwork for a new, more accepting friendship.  Anyone who is queer with an anti-queer-religious best friend is probably familiar with this dilemma.

Wei Wuxian chooses the second option, and goes all in from the first moment, calling Lan Wangji "Lan Er Gongzi" and then upgrading to "Hanguang Jun" and even bowing. If it's possible to bow sarcastically, that's what Wei Wuxian is doing. Then he meets his eyes and sticks his chin out, essentially saying "how do you like them apples?"

(more after the cut!)

Lan Wangji's feelings are probably hurt, but he's too busy being mad to show it, and he goes straight to grilling Wei Wuxian, asking him about the killing, the talismans, and giving up the sword, all while Jiang Cheng stands by and wonders what the fuck is happening. 

Lan Wangji is making a fundamental error here, which is he's speaking as if he's an authority instead of as a peer. Wei Wuxian has only ever accepted one authority in his entire life, and that was Jiang Fengmian. Jiang Cheng is the one who, for a change, is approaching as a worried friend, while Lan Wangji approaches as if he has the right to call Wei Wuxian to account.  

Wei Wuxian won't answer his questions and is getting in his face, provoking him in a very quiet and controlled way, and Lan Wangji responds by just being really aggressive. It's interesting to see Wei Wuxian completely mastering his emotions while Lan Wangji is completely....not.  Wei Wuxian pushes harder, saying he's being rude, saying he's being a bad friend.  Which doesn't make any difference to Lan Wanji, who keeps pressing for an answer while Jiang Cheng wonders what the fuck is happening.

Come to Gusu

Wei Wuxian says he already explained, that it's complicated, it will take time to explain, so then Lan Wangji makes the utterly dumbassed demand that Wei Wuxian return to Gusu with him to explain it. What, exactly, is his plan? Bring Wei Wuxian to Gusu and have Lan Xichen (at the very least) and probably also Lan Qiren help him to convince Wei Wuxian that resentful cultivation is bad? How is that likely to work out? Let's have our own flashback, to that classroom interaction that led to the punishment in the library.

Lan Qiren: How will you make sure the resentful energy will only listen to you and not harm others? [Note: he's not wrong, Wei Wuxian] Wei Wuxian: I haven't figured that out yet ["details," as OP's dad used to say] Lan Qiren: If you did, the cultivation world would not allow your existence [i.e. we, the Lan Clan of Gusu, will kill your ass]

Lan Wangji probably doesn't think he's threatening Wei Wuxian with death by inviting him to Gusu, but he kinda is, if Lan Qiren was serious back then.  Lan Wangji is so upset and fearful that he's not really thinking clearly at this point. He loves Wei Wuxian and he's certain that cultivating with resentful energy will destroy him. [Note: he's not wrong, Wei Wuxian]  But Wei Wuxian is beyond fear. He's already been destroyed once.

Wei Wuxian rips on Gusu and then says, in a super-provocative way, that he prefers Yunmeng, which prompts Lan Wangji to say "don't joke around" as angrily as possible. 

This part of the interaction always confuses me because...shouldn't he prefer Yunmeng? He's actually from there and lives there and belongs there and stuff? He's just saying "I think I'll go with my brother" yet WWX and LWJ both act like he said he'd rather go to Demon City.

Lan Wangji takes a big step forward and Jiang Cheng blocks him while Wei Wuxian continues to act unperturbed and puzzled while holding his demon flute out in between them. 

Finally, FINALLY, Wei Wuxian calls him Lan Zhan, and asks him a serious question: What do you really want. Lan Wangji calms down for a second--although he keeps leaning into Jiang Cheng's sword block--and gets to the point, which is that the unorthodox path is dangerous, and harmful to his temperament.  

Kill one turtle together and you think you're the boss of me

So, these dudes are talking about 2 different levels of unacceptable cultivation, in this episode and the next few. Netflix translates these as "wicked tricks" and "crafty tricks," which both sound absolutely ludicrous in English, so I'm going to use my own preferred terms, going forward.  

I think what they are calling "Wicked Tricks," which includes spirit snatching and feeding people to the murder turtle on purpose in order to harvest their resentment could be translated as Heresy--adhering to a forbidden belief or practice; standing in opposition to Orthodoxy.  

Edit: After rewatching Episode 35, in which Nie Huaisang explains why their whole blade thing doesn’t count as “wicked tricks,” I’ve changed my mind about what to call this. NHS says that “wicked tricks” specifically involve the use of humans & human spirits (killing, sacrificing, etc.). Which means Necromancy is probably the better term for this particular type of cultivation, although it is still (also) Heresy. 

"Crafty Tricks," which is using resentful energy to raise and control already-dead people (ghosts and zombies) as well as just generally using resentment for basic stuff like beating Jin Zixuan's ass, could be translated as Heterodoxy--deviating from the accepted belief or practice, but not to the point of complete opposition.

Wei Wuxian laughs while Lan Wangji tries to be convincing, but since Lan Wangji is just repeating what he's been taught, he's not making much headway. Instead of saying "there's no exception throughout history" he could have, instead, gone with his own actual observations, such as "you are acting like a sadistic prick" or "you seem amazingly miserable" or "you aren't hugging your brother, what the fuck is that about?" But no.

Wei Wuxian responds to the charge of heresy by saying nuh-uh, and explains his methods, sort of, while going back to calling him Lan Er Gongzi. Lan Er Gongzi responds by actually literally yelling at him, and saying he's not allowed to decide for himself about what he's doing, as if the words "allowed to" have ever meant a goddamn thing to Wei Wuxian.

Temperament

At this point Wei Wuxian is done. He goes and gets right up in Lan Wangji's face and sticks a metaphorical knife right in his heart, smiling as he does it. "How do others know my temperament?" he asks; "and why should it be their concern?" i.e. you are not in my heart. 

This makes Lan Wangji so mad he calls Wei Wuxian "Wei Wuxian" for possibly the only time in the show, and he also flashes a whole bunch of angry teeth. (Gifset here). In a callback to the JFM-YZY fight back in Lotus Pier before the war, Wei Wuxian just calmly says "Lan Wangji" back at him, and then tells him to go fuck himself.

Jiang Cheng still doesn't understand what the fuck is happening, but this is a sentiment he understands, so he also tells Lan Wangji to go fuck himself, reminding him that Wei Wuxian is Jiang clan property and it's not the Lans' place to discipline him. Adding "and I'm not going to discipline him any way, look how good he is at killing people!"

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji continue to stare into each others' eyes from a distance so close that it really should lead to making out, but they are both much too angry for that. 

Wei Wuxian is as cold as we ever see him, smiling as he silently confirms: I do not belong to you. Lan Wangji glares back, his anger maybe finally giving way, a little bit, to being hurt.

Finish Him!

Wen Chao picks this moment to wake up and crawl over to the trio, begging Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng to save his life, since he presumably knows it's pointless to beg Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian turns around and gives him the EXACT SAME dead-eyed smile he just gave Lan Wangji, and kicks him.

Then he tells Lan Wangji to please leave so he and his brother can finish torturing this dude to death, and caps it with an official Jiang Clan eye roll.  

Lan Wangji, poor bb, just throws in the towel, and turns and leaves, the anger finally starting to leave his face and be replaced with something else...chagrin, maybe? Or maybe just softer anger, for the moment. 

After he's out of sight Wei Wuxian turns and looks after him sadly, all of the cruelty and hardness gone from his expression, while Wen Chao says "forgive me,"  possibly voicing what Wei Wuxian is thinking.

Lan Wangji walks out the front gate, troubled, and hears Wen Chao scream. He stops and replays the most pointed part of the fight in his head - the part where Wei Wuxian asked him, "who do you think you are?" Lan Wangji went into the fight believing he was completely right and was entitled to judge Wei Wuxian, but he's come out of it with his certainty shaken. 

Family Time

The Yunmeng brothers go to the ancestral shrine in Lotus Pier even though the whole "reclaiming Lotus Pier" scene doesn't happen until Episode 24. So apparently they just kind of sneak into the the shrine, and then sneak back out. Or, you know, continuity error.  Anyway Wei Wuxian is nothing if not adept at sneaking around death-related places.

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng bow and offer incense. It's nice that the Wens didn't fuck up everybody's name plaques when they were in control of the place...or the tassels, candles, etc. 

Wei Wuxian quietly tells Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian that he did what they asked--taking care of Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli--and they can rest now. Nosy parker Jiang Cheng wants to know what he's saying, but Wei Wuxian just changes the subject. 

They talk about going to Qinghe for the final combat of the Sunshot Campaign. Wei Wuxian says that's why he returned, which...dude, you can't even pretend you came back to be with your loved ones? Ouch. Jiang Cheng doesn't really react to that, but he's happy when Wei Wuxian says he wants to see Jiang Yanli. Wei Wuxian wants to know if she's ok and if she's mad at him, and Jiang Cheng says wait and see, because direct answers are not the Jiang Clan way.

Jiang Yanli is helping tend to the wounded, and we see her telling a particularly fussy wounded dude to suck it up and stop complaining. 

When Wei Wuxian shows up she totally stops paying attention to the wounded dude so that she can smile at Wei Wuxian. 

He looks back at her tearfully, briefly managing to smile but then just trying to hold it together. He has been to hell and back, and doing his very best to hide it, but when he sees the person who loves him most--the person who will NOT spend 20 minutes yelling at him as soon as they see him--he starts to crack open.

[dsmpevents]

Match 7th

VODS: Ponk twitch 

 Badboyhalo Twitch 

Foolish Twitch (DSMP starts at 1:50:00 in the vod)

MichaelMcchill Twitch (DSMP starts at 45:00 in the vod)

The long and short of it: Ponk builds railroads, Bad continues improving the prime path, Michael meets the server itself and is ordered to construct a sacrifice. 

Ponk logs in and continues working on their rollercoaster, discussing plans for future decoration and fixing up the turns. 

Ponk builds an amethyst and sea lantern ring around the community house adding a minecart line on top of it for an AFK machine. 

-

Badbodhalo logs on joined by Awesamdude. Bad explains some shifts to the new prime path design and shows off his progress to Sam. He now intends to use the “original” oak for the center. He recaps the history of the path. 

Bad and Sam see and are confused by Ponk’s addition to the community house. 

Sam and Bad make progress on the path, changing out the center strip and adding sides. They argue about and test the relative burn rate of slabs and Sam designs daylight sensing lights for the path. Sam now wants credit for the path because he’s now done so much work on it. 

Foolish logs in to grab some prismarine. He sees Bad’s many modifications to his summer home including le’cactusburg, the pig army, the present, a mask on the Dream XD statue and the cactus pyramid. Foolish likes the mask on the Dream XD statue but he’s pretty sure Dream XD will be mad. He is generally impressed by how much effort Bad has put in, but is upset because it means he can not move on to other projects. 

Foolish takes down the small cactus pyramid and blows up the present as Bad rushes over. Foolish hires Sam Nook to remove the mask from the Dream XD statue in exchange for 5 diamonds. Sam Nook starts to remove the zombie piglins but Foolish convinces him to stop so the piglins can be trained as additional temple guards. 

Foolish begs Bad to stop building at the summer home or Foolish’s other builds before logging off. 

Sam returns as Sam Bucket, he will only say Sam Bucket and trolls. Placing TNT at Bad’s house, he is eventually appeased when Bad gives up his bucket. 

Regular Sam is back and Sam summons night to.show off the daylight sensors and Bad ends stream. 

- 

Michael logs in, Bad shows him the upgrades to the prime path. Michael really likes it. The prime bell is missing someone yoinked it. Bad leaves. Michael finds a village and replaces the prime bell. Then does some mining. 

The server greets Michael and demands a sacrifice of a cube 16x16x16 (not hollow). What does he get for this? Not being destroyed.Michael agrees and grabs his saved blocks. The server tries to expand the order to 64 x 64 x 64, but Michael refuses pointing out that would be a quarter of a million blocks. The original 16x16x16 order stands. 

After some discussion over the proper location for the sacrifice the server starts chucking lightning and spawning mobs while Micheal builds. Strange things continue to happen. 

The server rates the new prime path 5/5 stars, then rates it π/5 stars.

Michael completes the cube, unlocking one request.  He requests 100 gifted subs or elytra. He receives 100 bread. That’s not a great reward. Michael prefers the ground goblin, the ground goblin could’ve gotten him elytra. Micheal’s new reward is a piece of bedrock. The server goes to sleep.

Bad rejoins. Michael tells him about what happened. Bad’s confused, the server isn’t alive, “anymore at least”. 

Bad goes to see the cube, but it’s disappeared. Micheal shows him the bedrock. Bad steals it briefly, but Micheal gets it back. Bad claims Michael’s old house. 

[mrswhozeewhatsis]

Soft

A/N: This is for both the @spnfanficpond's S14 Weekly Episode Challenge, week 20, and also this month's Alpha Reader Program with @deanwinchesterswitch! Kym is a great Alpha reader, putting up with so much babbling of ideas with me!!

Summary: Chuck is depowered, Jack de-poofed Eileen and Y/N, and they all rescued Cas from the Empty. (The finale never happened fight me.) Now, with no more Big Bads on the horizon, Dean needs to figure out what his happily ever after looks like. Once he does, then he needs to go get it.

Pairing: Destiel x reader

Warnings: Pining. Idjits in love. Canon-divergent after 15x19. Fluff.

Word count: 4311 words

Prompt: "I'll stop talking." "Probably a good idea."

Dean watches her throw her arms around Cas’s waist and really snuggle into his embrace. It’s done. Chuck is depowered, Jack is in charge, Y/N is back, and now Cas is back. Everything is as it should be. Dean pats Cas on the shoulder, meeting his gaze with a smile he can feel is strained, locks eyes for a second with Y/N, and heads towards his room via the drink trolley. A little time resting in the only soft thing he’s ever been allowed to keep is definitely in order.

Sitting on his bed, back propped against the headboard and whiskey bottle in hand, he forces himself to consider everything he’s been trying not to think about for far too long. Cas will want to talk at some point, and Dean knows he can’t get it wrong. Well, no, he actually could get it all very disastrously wrong, but this time, he doesn’t want to.

And he has so very much to think about if he wants any chance to get this right. First, he needs to decide what “right” looks like.

If you’d asked him a few years ago what a good life looked like, he would have denied Cas’s place in it. There were just so many reasons why Cas couldn’t be a part of any picture he’d have painted back then. That was before, though. Before Cas told him, unequivocally, that he loved Dean in a way he thought he couldn’t have.

Maybe a year ago, if Cas had said those same words, Dean would have jumped into his arms and kissed the hell out of him. At that point, he’d finally admitted to himself that Cas was more to him. That Cas meant more than Dean’s fear of someone thinking he liked dick. Cas meant more than his hang-ups about how sex worked with a dude. Cas was more than a guy, and not simply because he wasn’t human. Angel or not, Cas was Dean’s person.

That was before, though. Before Mary died. Before Chuck had his little hissy fit. Before Dean acted like an ass… again. Before Y/N.

Now, Dean sits on his bed, not drinking the whiskey in his hand because he knows it won’t help. He needs to think clearly. He needs to decide how he feels. He’s loved Cas for years. But he’s beginning to think that maybe he loves her, too.

She appeared with the army of hunters that had arrived when Chuck opened Hell. She was relatively new to hunting, so when her partner died early on, she needed an experienced partner. With Dean barely speaking to him, Cas needed something to focus on, and he took her under his wing, so to speak. Which meant Dean barely spoke to her, either, outside of barking orders.

He was just so angry at the time, and it spilled onto her. Dean didn’t want Cas around him, but then he didn’t want Cas focusing on her, either. Or giving her that squinty head tilt. Hugging her while she grieved her partner. Talking to her about lore and weapons and sigils.

With Jack and Rowena dead, Y/N filled the fourth seat in the Impala just a little too quickly for Dean’s liking. And it had nothing to do with how fondly Cas looked at her when she fell asleep on his shoulder. Yeah, he understood that she needed training and experience, but there were a million other hunters fighting ghosts and zombies with them that she could have joined.

Dean was so mad, Cas left. And she went with him. And no, Dean did not spend several sleepless nights wondering about the sexual orientation of angels.

She and Cas were hunting partners for a while, but then Cas went to Heaven, so she moved into the bunker and never left. Dean tried not to dump his shit on her, knowing that it was his shit and not hers and he was being a dick, but she was everywhere—cooking in the kitchen, beating up the heavy bag in the gym, shooting curse words into the paper targets in the range. Dean didn’t want to laugh when she slapped one on his chest that read “DICK” as she walked out the door. He also didn’t want to deck Fancypants Dean from the other world when he asked her to go with them to Rio and then kissed her, dipped her like a 50’s heroine and everything, right in front of him!

And he definitely didn’t want to miss her when she left again with Cas. They were gone, again. Alone. Soon, he realized that he missed the smell of her cooking. He stared at the taped-over hole she left in the heavy bag when she tried attacking it while wearing heels. He tried to forget how lethal she was in the gun range. He failed to stop wondering how many beds were in the motel room they were sharing each night.

He got better about not being a dick to her when they returned. He even shared his pie. The first time she gave him one of her hundred-watt smiles, he nearly melted. She offered to help wash Baby, and he accepted. Not being a dick got easier as they became friends.

Then Chuck killed her. Just poofed her into nothing. A finger snap and Dean felt like he was back on the rack, a knife slicing into his heart. Why? Watching Cas mourn her was almost as hard as admitting that he felt the same way. He shouldn’t feel this way. They were friends. But the pain and grief in Cas’s eyes were mirrored in his chest. Not that he could say that to anyone. She was Cas’s… something.

Yet, before the Shadow swallowed him and Billie whole, Cas still said that his moment of complete happiness was loving Dean.

After Cas was gone, Dean sat on the floor in the dungeon and wondered at the complete lack of black goo anywhere. It had seemed to be everywhere but had left no trace. His mind bounced against the image of Cas getting swallowed whole and ricocheted into the image of Y/N poofing into thin air. Sam’s face when he picked up Eileen’s car keys, phone, and wallet. Jack’s face burning brightly when Chuck killed him in the graveyard. Mom’s face when he wrapped a shroud around the body that wasn’t hers. Charlie’s face as she lay in that awful motel bathtub. Bobby’s face as he called them idjits one last time. Dad’s face when the doctors tried to revive him, but he was already long gone.

Dean went on autopilot. He got up from the floor, drove to Sam and Jack, and then, he … did what needed to be done. On the drive away from Chuck’s defeat, Dean tried to imagine the life ahead of him without Chuck’s influence. Just him and Sam and Jack. He pictured them in the bunker, all in black and white like the old photos of the Men of Letters in the archives. Nothing big to fight, only little hunts. Maybe there would be the occasional trip to Hell to visit Rowena. Maybe Rowena could use a hand down there? Hell sounded nice, this time of year. You know, when everyone else is dead….

Dean didn’t let himself complete that thought. He still had Sam.

Then Jack brought back Y/N and Eileen. Color returned to Dean’s world. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better than Heaven or Hell. With Y/N in his arms, all he could think about was Cas. Dean needed Cas back, even if it meant watching them ride off into the sunset together. When Jack said he couldn’t get Cas as easily as he’d gotten Y/N and Eileen, she ended up crying in Dean’s arms, letting him comfort her. She comforted him. They comforted each other.

Before the big rescue, Dean decided that if Cas and Y/N chose to go off and live a happy life together, he’d wish them well, even if it meant drowning himself in whiskey.

But now they’re both here. When their departure was hypothetical, it was easy to convince himself that he could be supportive. Now that he was up against the reality of it, he could barely breathe. Yes, the two of them alive and happy together without him is better than the two of them dead, but….

Dean puts down the whiskey and grabs an open bottle of what is probably very stale water off his desk. He drinks it down and then stares at the whiskey bottle. He tries to breathe through the pain in his chest caused by the prospect of visiting Cas and Y/N in their little country cottage with the white picket fence and beehives in the backyard. Oh, how he wants to drink something stronger than water and make this pain stop.

No. He needs to say this to himself completely sober.

“I want them,” he announces to the room, quietly enough that no one outside could hear, but the words still echo in his ears. “No, I don’t just want them. I want a bacon double cheeseburger with extra onions and a slice of apple pie with a scoop of ice cream on top. I need them. I need Cas, and I need her, and I need to stop acting like I don’t.”

Picturing the little country cottage once more, he shakes his head. “I have to try. Cas said he loved me. Y/N at least doesn’t think I’m a dick. I can’t do nothing, anymore. I have to try. I have to tell them both and at least ask them to give me a chance.”

Dean pulls at his hair and sighs. “But that’s not how the world works. I can’t have them both. I need to decide who to talk to first. I need to choose.”

The angel that literally saved him from Hell but wears a vessel Dean doesn’t know how to handle, or the woman who would be the complete package if he weren’t already in love with Cas.

“How do I choose?”

And that’s all assuming that either of them even (still) wants him. Cas may have changed his mind after Dean stood there stupidly and said freaking nothing while the Empty swallowed him whole. And she’s never really indicated that she wanted anyone but Cas. And Cas has always seemed perfectly happy to indulge her attentions. Hell, maybe they will go off together to that cottage in the country and leave him alone. After the way he’s acted, it’s the least he deserves.

“If I even have a choice, I can’t choose.”

Pacing the room, he kneads the problem in his mind like a baker would knead dough. After only a couple of minutes, he tires of rolling around a thousand “what ifs” in his head and stops in front of his bedroom door, hand almost grabbing the knob to turn it.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” he asks himself, trying to give himself the courage to move. “They both say they don’t want me, they only want each other, and I’m left alone, like I’ve always been. Nothing changes for me.”

Swallowing down the blast of grief that idea causes, he takes a deep breath and watches from outside of his body as he turns the doorknob and walks down the hallway.

He hears her voice coming from her room long before he reaches it, but he’s almost in the doorway before he can make out the words she’s saying. She’s chattering in that way she does when she’s excited or nervous about something, and his heart clenches as he wonders what’s got her so jittery.

“It’s just that there’s so much to consider and so many possibilities and I’ve been waiting until now to think about it and oh god now I’m rambling and we really need to come up with a better phrase for that now that Chuck’s not in power andfuckinghellIthinkI’llstoptalking.”

Dean watches her put a hand over her mouth to stop the flow of words and can’t stop his smile. She’s adorable.

Cas sees Dean in the doorway, gives her a gentle smile, and says, “That’s probably a good idea.” He nods his head towards Dean, and she turns to look at him. They’re both sitting on the side of the bed, one of her hands is encased in both of his, and Dean feels his heart wrench at what that might mean.

He tries to read their expressions, get a feel for what’s happening in the room, but his own feelings are overwhelming him. They’re both right here, staring at him, while he’s staring at them, and no one is saying anything!

“Uh,” he starts —oh, you’re doing great there, Dean, so eloquent— before clearing his throat and taking a steadying breath, “I don’t want to interrupt you guys?”

Cas smiles, but Y/N gulps and shakes her head.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas says in that way that always makes Dean feel warm inside. “It’s okay. What do you need?”

Dean tries again to read their expressions, but all he can feel is tension. Is it coming from him? “I, uh, need you,” he says to both of them, bouncing his gaze back and forth between them.

Cas stands up, letting go of Y/N’s hands, and pats her on the shoulder. “I’ll let you guys have some time alone. We can finish this later, right?”

Y/N nods, but Dean stops Cas from leaving the room with a hand on his arm. “No, Cas, I mean both of you.” Wishing that he could simply snap his fingers and have both of them automatically understand, he stares into Cas’s eyes like he’s done so many times before, trying to will his jumble of thoughts into the angel’s head.

Cas must only get static, though, because he smiles his same old fond smile, puts his hand on Dean’s left shoulder like he always does, and replies, “Of course, Dean. I’m always here when you need me. How can I help?”

Dean groans, wiping down his face with his hand while his shoulders droop. “Fuck, this is hard,” he mutters, then leads Cas back to where he’d been sitting on the bed, drags over the desk chair, and sits facing them both. “Look, I don’t do chick flick stuff, and you guys both know that, so bear with me, okay?”

Cas and Y/N both nod, and Dean wishes he had the whiskey bottle with him. Maybe a little in vino veritas would help him get through this. Staring at the two of them, he doesn’t even know where to start. He looks back and forth at each of them again, noting that they’re holding hands once more, and focuses on that.

“Look, guys, I know you two are,” he waves a hand around trying to indicate what he means, “together? Involved? Whatever you want to call it since we’re not in high school and we’ve all worked to derail an apocalypse or two. And I don’t want to mess with that. Well, not exactly. Wait, that’s not what I meant.” He takes a steadying breath and mutters, “Fuck, this is hard,” yet again.

He looks up and finally notices that both Cas and Y/N are now considerably less relaxed than they were a minute ago. Both sit stiff-backed, trying to look at anything but each other, and their hands are no longer linked.

“Wait, you guys are together, right?” Dean asks, suddenly questioning every moment he’s ever seen between them.

Y/N clears her throat and replies, “Well, that’s kind of what I was trying to talk to Cas about when you came in.” Her eyes bounce between Cas and Dean nervously and she shifts her position on the bed a little so she’s facing towards Cas a little more. “Cas, part of what I was trying to say is that I have, you know, feelings for you, that are, well, more than friendship.” Her words rush faster and faster until she gets to the end. “I held it in for so long, and then I was dead, and you were dead, and it was all awful, but now we’re back, and we’re here, and I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel what I feel.” She ends with a small gasp of much-needed air and then stares fearfully at the angel while she carefully exhales.

Cas tilts his head and squints, and Y/N slowly deflates a little bit more with every moment Cas takes to reply. Dean had no idea what he was walking into but somehow feels a little better knowing he’s not the only one feeling the need to put things on the table. The only concern now is that he might be watching the two people he wants so very much get together right in front of him, without him. Well, I’ll always have Sammy and visits to Rowena in Hell, he thinks.

“Cas? Please say something,” Y/N pleads, the panic becoming clear to Dean as her breathing quickens and her hands fumble in her lap.

“I thought you were in love with Dean?” Cas blurts out, leaving all three of them exchanging looks between them.

Dean sits up straighter and glances between Cas and Y/N, but focuses more on Y/N. “Really?” He can’t stop the word from leaving his mouth. He’s too excited by the possibility. Doing the math in his head, his heart starts to race happily. Half a chance Cas really loves him like he said, half a chance Y/N loves him like Cas said, that equals a whole chance he might actually get at least half of what he wants.

Completely ignorant to the social graces surrounding admitting other people’s feelings for other people to those other people, Cas just keeps going, turning to Dean. “Yes. I’ve noticed her engaging in some of the social actions that usually indicate romantic affection towards you. I assumed that meant she had feelings for you.”

Dean looks at Cas, then throws his hands up in the air. “Well, I’ve been watching the two of you cuddle up together all the time like two peas in a damn pod, so I knew she had feelings for you! And you’ve been cuddling right back, so I figured that meant the two of you were a thing, no matter what you said!”

Face glowing a bright red, Y/N interrupted the staring contest between the two men. “Well, I’ve been watching all the eye-fucking between you two since day one, so I thought you two were a thing! I mean, seriously, you two need to kiss or fuck or something so the rest of us can breathe clear air, again!”

Both Dean and Cas turn to stare at Y/N.

“What? You two had no problem talking about my feelings! Turnabout’s fair play!”

Cas takes hold of Y/N’s hand to ground her and says, “So, you have romantic feelings for both of us, then?”

Fear washes over her face as she nods, nervously glancing between the two of them.

Cas smiles. “And I have romantic feelings for both of you,” he states. The two of them smile at each other for a moment and then turn to Dean in unison. Their hands are clutched together, knuckles white with tension.

With two pairs of striking eyes staring at him, Dean squirms.

“Dean, we would very much appreciate you telling us what you’re thinking and feeling, right now,” Cas said, using his calmest and most caring voice. “I believe the phrase is, ‘this is a safe space.’”

Dean takes a steadying breath, looks at each of them individually, and decides there’s no use running now. He’s here. He knows there will be a soft landing when he jumps. He’s jumped into worse with less and come out winning. He can do this.

Dean takes Y/N’s free hand in one of his and squeezes it while he decides what words to use. She relaxes, her shoulders dropping, but Dean notices Cas stiffen out of the corner of his eye. Dean stiffens right along with him, bringing his eyes up just in time to see the flash of disappointment in Cas’s eyes before it disappears.

Fuck, he’s screwing this all up, already.

Words are still foreign things he can’t seem to grasp, so he decides to act instead. Still holding Y/N’s hand, he reaches with his other hand to grasp Cas’s neck and pull him in.

The kiss is awkward as hell. Cas’s eyes are wide open when Dean closes his, and then teeth clash, and Cas stays frozen while Dean tries to gently kiss some life into him. Right before Dean is about to pull away and question all his life choices, Cas melts. Cas’s hand is suddenly in Dean’s hair, pulling Dean closer as the kiss turns into the warmest, loveliest kiss Dean’s ever experienced. Cas’s lips are as soft as Dean ever imagined, the little bit of rough stubble a new but not awful feeling, and Dean’s pretty sure he could do this for hours and never come up for air. Maybe it would kill him, but he’d be okay dying this way.

Eventually, the kiss turns to little nibbles, and then they simply sit there for a moment, foreheads together and eyes closed, feeling the warmth of each other.

“I didn’t think you could feel what I feel,” Dean whispered. “And then you said you could, and you did, and then you were gone, and it was too late.” He shifts only enough to press his lips to Cas’s again one more time. “You can have everything you want, angel,” he says, pulling back enough to look Cas in the eyes.

Cas’s smile is as wide and happy as Dean’s ever seen it. They stare at each other for another one of those long moments where Dean swears Cas must be able to freeze time. Cas’s eyes shift away from Dean, and he’s reminded that he’s staring at only half of his happiness.

The other half is still holding his hand, watching him and Cas with wide eyes and a shy smile. With nothing left to lose, Dean leans in and feels the rest of his world click into place as his lips settle perfectly on hers. The kiss with her is different, and yet also the same in how right it feels. She opens her mouth a little, and their tongues slide together like they’ve done this a hundred times before. When they finally break apart, he doesn’t know what to say, so he just lets his smile loose. She smiles back, and he knows she understands.

Everything in him wants to keep going back and forth, kissing them both, but there’s always that little voice inside his head —which sounds a bit like Chuck, these days— that tells him that this isn’t real. It makes him slow down a bit, lean back in his chair, and enjoy looking at the two people in front of him. He watches the two of them kiss and is surprised when his gut doesn’t churn with jealousy this time.

Each time he had imagined what they did behind closed doors, he was miserable. Yet, here he is, watching them kiss, feeling happy. The part of him that was jealous and hurt now knows that they both want him, too. He’s not on the outside looking in, anymore.

The little voice that sounds like Chuck gets a little louder. ‘What is this, a three-way roll in the hay like with the Doublemint twins back before Hell, or those triplets with Lee? Yeah, this isn’t how real life works, pal.’

Cas and Y/N finally pull away from each other but continue to stare into each other’s eyes for a long moment. Now, Dean knows how other people have felt while he’s stared at Cas in the past. Part of him wants to laugh at that, but that evil little voice has convinced him that this is temporary. They’re all holding hands, now, like some kind of hippie prayer circle or Zen meditation thing, grinning like idiots at each other, and it can’t last.

Dean’s smile falters, and he looks down at their hands, trying to memorize this moment before it all comes crashing down. Before he has to choose. Before they have to choose. Before he loses everything.

Cas lets go of his hand and uses it to lift Dean’s chin so he sees Cas’s face again. “You can have this, Dean. We can have this, exactly like this. We don’t have to choose. It won’t be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is, right?” Cas’s hand drops down and grasps his hand, again. “Polyamory is not unheard of and is accepted in many cultures.”

Dean looks back and forth between Cas and Y/N, gauging their feelings about this from their expressions.

Y/N giggles and shrugs when Dean looks at her, questions in his eyes. “I’m game to try if you are. I’m guessing it’s going to involve a lot of honesty and talking, but I could never choose between you.”

Dean’s shoulders relax and he takes what feels like the first deep breath of his life. He’s fallen, hard and fast, expecting the pain of a crash landing, but found a safety net instead. It’s thrilling, it’s scary, and his heart wants to burst out of his chest, but it’s all good.

Squeezing both of their hands, he grins. “Let’s do this, then.”

Later, when he and Y/N are curled into Cas in bed, who’s reading a book because he doesn’t sleep, Dean squeezes her hand on the broad chest between them and smiles when she squeezes back. When he’s asleep and dreaming about hunts and fights and beating the Devil, for the first time, when he falls, he lands softly.

[crimeculturepodcast]

Hispanic/Latino horror movies

In honor of Hispanic Heritage month, this week we talked about horror movies out of Latin American and Spanish speaking countries. There were some we couldn’t get to so here is the full list:

Spain

The Devil’s Backbone (2001)

Rotten Tomatoes: 92%

Audience Score: 89%

Google Score: 85%

IMDb: 7.4/10

Critics Consensus: Creepily atmospheric and haunting, The Devil's Backbone is both a potent ghost story and an intelligent political allegory.

Description: “Set during the last years of the Spanish Civil War, The Devil's Backbone is a Spanish gothic horror movie that follows Carlos, a young orphan boy who is deposited at Santa Lucia School among several other children who have been displaced by the conflict. Though he finds friends in the professor and the head mistress, he is plagued by a wandering spirit with a link to the violent caretaker's secret past.”

Trivia: The movie, which he wrote in college and was in development for 16 years, is strongly inspired by Del Toro’s personal memories, especially his relationship with his uncle, who supposedly came back as a ghost. It is also included among the "1,001 Movies You Must See Before You Die" edited by Steven Schneider. Although filmmaker Guillermo del Toro is Mexican, this film is set in the Spanish countryside (largely filmed in Madrid) that’s why it’s on the Spanish list. The Devil’s Backbone has all of the impactful elements of spirituality, horror, and the supernatural that come up again and again in Del Toro’s work. This film has been referred to as the “brother film” of one of Del Toro’s best known works, Pan’s Labyrinth. 

[REC] (2007)

Rotten Tomatoes: 89%

Audience Score: 82%

Google Score: 85%

IMDb: 7.4/10

Critics Consensus: Plunging viewers into the nightmarish hellscape of an apartment complex under siege, [Rec] proves that found footage can still be used as an effective delivery mechanism for sparse, economic horror.

Description: “Late-night TV host Angela and her cinematographer are following the fire service on a call to an apartment building, but the Spanish police seal off the building after an old woman is infected by a virus which gives her inhuman strength.”

Trivia: The movie was filmed chronologically in real locations (no sets were built for the movie). The actor’s were never given the script in its entirety and didn’t know what was going to happen to their characters until the day of filming. The movie is also a big inspiration for the horror survival game Outlast.

Considered The Blair Witch Project of zombie movies, REC had a lot of competition in the found footage style (it came out the same year as George Romero’s Diary of the Dead and the first Paranormal Activity movie). It more than holds its own among them, so much so that an American remake called Quarantine came out the next year. Director Jaume Balagueró keeps the movie disturbingly real and doesn’t fall prey to jump scare after jump scare.

Veronica (2017)

Rotten Tomatoes: 88%

Audience Score: 49%

Google Score: 80%

IMDb: 6.2/10

Critics Consensus: A scarily effective horror outing, Veronica proves it doesn't take fancy or exotic ingredients to craft skin-crawling genre thrills. 

Description: “During a solar eclipse, a teenage girl and her friends want to summon the spirit of the girl's father using an Ouija board. However, during the session she loses consciousness and soon it becomes clear that evil demons have arrived.”

Trivia: Based on the true story of 18-year-old Estefanía Gutiérrez Lázaro. I won’t go too far into it because we may do an episode on it in the future but if you want spoilers, watch the movie (if you dare).

Directed by Paco Plaza (same as REC), the possession theme is done over and over again in horror but this movie is a terrifying and fresh take. 

The Bar (2017)

Rotten Tomatoes: 88%

Audience Score: 55%

Google Score: 75%

IMDb: 6.3/10

Description: “In bustling downtown Madrid, a loud gunshot and two mysterious deaths trap a motley assortment of common urbanites in a decrepit central bar, while paranoia and suspicion force the terrified regulars to turn on each other.”

Directed by Álex de la Iglesia, it’s labeled as a horror-comedy. You can watch it on Netflix.

Who Can Kill A Child? (1976) - Tells the story of a happy couple, two English tourists who decide to vacation on a secluded island in the Mediterranean. There they discover – almost too late- that the island has been taken over by a group of murderous children.

The Baby’s Room (2006) - Featured on Six Films to Keep You Awake at Night. A new family renovates and moves into a grand old house. Nervous first-time mom installs a baby monitor but hears mysterious sounds on the other side. Once they install a high-tech video baby monitor, what they see chills them to the bone.

Sleep Tight (2011) - Apartment concierge Cesar is a miserable person who believes he was born without the ability to be happy. His self-appointed task is to make life hell for everyone around him, a mission in which he has great success. It has big home invasion/stalker vibes. 

Timecrimes (2007) - A man accidentally gets into a time machine and travels back in time nearly an hour. Finding himself will be the first of a series of disasters of unforeseeable consequences. It sounds like a “Happy Death Day” type of plot (but proceeding it by a decade).

Thesis (1996) - Angela is doing her thesis on the effect of violence in the media when she discovers a snuff film. This discovery leads her down a dark path where she must confront her greatest fears and question everybody around her.

Witching and Bitching (2013) - One article I read said it perfectly, “What Shaun of the Dead did for zombies and What We Do in the Shadows did for vampires, Witching & Bitching essentially did for the cinematic depiction of witches, albeit on a less visible scale.” Great pick if you’re looking for something a bit more lighthearted.

Mexico

Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)

Rotten Tomatoes: 95%

Audience Score: 91%

Google Score: 90%

IMDb: 8.2/10

Critics Consensus: Pan's Labyrinth is Alice in Wonderland for grown-ups, with the horrors of both reality and fantasy blended together into an extraordinary, spellbinding fable. 

Description: After the Allies invade Nazi-occupied Europe, a sadistic captain sends a troop of Spanish soldiers to flush out rebels,bringing his new wife and her daughter along on his exploits. While his family resides in the countryside, he leads his men on a murderous rampage, much of which is witnessed by his step daughter. In an effort to escape her reality she plunges into Pan's Labyrinth, a mystical world at the border of her own.

Trivia: Guillermo del Toro is famous for compiling books full of notes and drawings about his ideas before turning them into films, something he regards as essential to the process. He left years worth of notes for this film in the back of a cab, and when he discovered them missing, he thought it was the end of the project. However, the cab driver found them and, realizing their importance, tracked him down and returned them at great personal difficulty and expense. Del Toro was convinced that this was a blessing and it made him ever more determined to complete the film. Del Toro also repeatedly refused offers from Hollywood producers, in spite of being offered double the budget, provided the film was made in English. He didn't want any compromise in the storyline to suit the "market needs" (he even did the English subtitles himself). The film received 22 minutes of applause at the Cannes Film Festival and in 2007, it became one of the few fantasy films ever nominated in the Best Foreign Language Film category at the Oscars. It’s another on the list "1,001 Movies You Must See Before You Die" edited by Steven Schneider with The Devil’s Backbone. It was on more than 130 top 10 lists in 2006. It is also the 5th highest grossing foreign language film in the US.

The Similars (2016)

Rotten Tomatoes: 95%

Audience Score: 49%

Google Score: 75%

IMDb: 5.9/10

Critics Consensus: A smart homage to genre filmmaking, The Similars is a fun and frightening film that balances socio-political issues with aplomb.

Description: A monstrous, once-in-a-lifetime thunderstorm strands passengers in a remote bus station outside Mexico City in 1968. As they listen to the radio, they realized that the storm has spread all over the world. As they look at each other, they also realize that everyone’s faces are slowly changing, and not for the better. 

Trivia: The film used make-up and special effects techniques never before done in Mexico. Director Isaac Ezban was influenced by B-movies of the 50s and 60s as well as TV shows and movies like “The Twilight Zone”, “The Thing”, and “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”.

We Are What We Are (2010)

Rotten Tomatoes: 72%

Audience Score: 48%

Google Score: 77%

IMDb: 5.7/10

Critics Consensus: We Are What We Are is elevated horror that combines family drama and social politics, with plenty of gore on top.

Description: After a family patriarch dies, his survivors are tasked with continuing the rigid family rituals that involve hunting meat, preparing it for consumption, and eating it. The “meat” in question is human flesh, since they’re a family of cannibals. With two detectives hot on their tail, the family of cannibals strains to maintain their family traditions in a modern urban environment.

There was an English language remake in 2013 (86% on Rotten Tomatoes) with Wyatt Russell and Odeya Rush (Lady Bird, Dumplin’, and Goosebumps)

We Are The Flesh (2016) - A joint French-Mexican production released in Spanish as Somos la carne, this post-apocalyptic nightmare involves a brother and sister who roam the land desperately seeking food until a kindly old man takes them in under the condition that they help him renovate an abandoned building. Oh, and they also have to have sex with one another while he watches. And after he breaks their will by getting them to do that, he makes them do all sorts of other things. This film was one of only four in Mexico to receive a “D” rating—which is reserved for subject matter that is considered extremely disturbing and/or pornographic.

The Witch’s Mirror (1962) - An abusive and cheating husband kills his wife so that he can be with his mistress. The woman’s godmother was a witch who originally tried casting a spell on a mirror to protect her from domestic violence, but the spell failed. Still, she is able to bring the woman back from the grave, and the two witches set out to destroy the evil woman-beater.

Here Comes The Devil (2012) - A married couple lose their children while on a family trip near some caves in Tijuana. The kids eventually reappear without explanation, but it becomes clear that they are not who they used to be, that something terrifying has changed them.

Chile

Downhill (2016)

Rotten Tomatoes: 60%

Audience Score: 22%

Google Score: 43%

IMDb: 3.5/10

Description: Deeply upset by the passing of his best friend, a professional BMX rider accepts to partake in a race in Chile. Everything goes as planned until he stumbles upon a man who is infected by a mysterious virus and becomes the target of local assassins.

Trivia: Filmed in 13 days

Post Mortem (2010)

Rotten Tomatoes: 88%

Audience Score: 61%

Google Score: 70%

IMDb: 6.5/10

Description: In Chile, 1973, during the last days of Salvador Allende’s presidency, an employee at a Morgue’s recording office falls for a burlesque dancer who mysteriously disappears.

Aftershock (2012)

Rotten Tomatoes: 39%

Audience Score: 24%

Google Score: 61%

IMDb: 4.8/10

Critics Consensus: Aftershock hints at an inventive twist on horror tropes, but ultimately settles for another round of mind-numbing depravity that may alternately bore and revolt all but the most ardent gore enthusiasts.

Description: In Chile, a group of travelers who are in an underground nightclub when a massive earthquake hits quickly learn that reaching the surface is just the beginning of their nightmare.

Trivia: Horror icon Eli Roth wrote and stars in this film.

To Kill A Man (2014) - An attack on his daughter leads a mild-mannered family man to take revenge on the vicious street thugs who have tormented him and his family for a long time.

Columbia

Out Of The Dark (2014) This is in English

Rotten Tomatoes: 24%

Audience Score: 22%

Google Score: 77%

IMDb: 4.8/10

Description: A family moves to Colombia to take over the operation of a manufacturing plant, soon they learn their new home is haunted.

Trivia: Starring Julia Stiles (10 Things I Hate About You, Dexter) and Scott Speedman (The Strangers, You) 

The Squad (2011)

Audience Score: 53%

Google Score: 82%

IMDb: 5.3/10

Description: After a secret military base ceases all communications, an anti-guerrilla commando unit is sent to the mountainous location to discover what exactly happened. The squad expects to discover that the base was attacked and taken over by guerrilla units, but instead find only a lone woman wrapped in chains.

Trivia: In one scene where the actors are shooting guns, one actor accidentally picked up a real gun instead of the prop and fired a real shot (no one was hurt).

Cord (2015) - On a post-apocalyptic world of never-ending winter, a sparse cast of outsiders live underground. Due to their unsanitary conditions, sexual contact has become dangerous. Masturbation has become the paradigm of sexual experience and an array of low-tech devices with this purpose has come into existence. In this bleak reality, a dealer of such machines a sex addict make a deal: she will allow him to experiment new devices on her body in exchange of pleasure. Soon however, their relationship goes out of control.

The Hidden Face (2011)

Rotten Tomatoes: 80%

Audience Score: 72%

Google Score: 86%

IMDb: 7.4/10

Description: Shattered by the unexpected news of their irreversible break-up, an aspiring orchestra conductor is puzzled by his girlfriend's mysterious and seemingly inexplicable case of disappearance. But, can he look beyond the facts?

Trivia: There is a Turkish version of this movie and a 2013 remake out of India called “Murder 3”

At The End Of The Spectra (2006)

Google Score: 83%

IMDb: 6/10

Description: A young woman who has become agoraphobic due to a traumatic incident is holed up in her apartment, she begins to suffer from hallucinations, paranoia and an obsessive neighbour.

Trivia: There is a Mexican remake called “Devil Inside” and there were once rumors of an American remake starring Nicole Kidman but that’s the end of that.

Uruguay

The Silent House (La Casa Muda) (2010) 

Rotten Tomatoes: 68%

Audience Score: 37%

Google Score: 63%

IMDb: 5.4/10

Critics Consensus: Shot in a single take, The Silent House may be a gimmick movie, but it's one that's enough to sustain dread and tension throughout. 

Description: A girl becomes trapped inside a house and becomes unable to contact the outside world as supernatural forces haunt it.

Trivia: The plot is supposedly based on a true story that occurred in the 1940s in a small village in Uruguay. With a budget of just six thousand dollars, it was filmed using a handheld high-definition digital single-lens reflex camera (the Canon EOS 5D Mark II), 2 handheld lamps, and a couple of lightbulbs over a time period of just four days. The claim that the movie was filmed in one continuous take are suspect. The Mark II camera can only record up to 15 minutes of continuous video at a time. Uruguay's official submission to the Best Foreign Language Film category of the 84th Academy Awards 2012.

Monos (2019)

Rotten Tomatoes: 92% 

Audience Score: 85%

Google Score: 69%

IMDb: 6.9/10

Critics Consensus: As visually splendid as it is thought-provoking, Monos takes an unsettling look at human nature whose grim insights leave a lingering impact.

Description: On a faraway mountaintop, eight teenaged guerillas with guns watch over a hostage and a conscripted milk cow. Playing games and initiating cult-like rituals, the children run amok in the jungle and disaster strikes when the hostage tries to escape.

Trivia: Moises Arias (Hannah Montana) and Julianne Nicholson (I, Tonya, August: Osage County) most of the other actors had never acted before. The movie draws inspiration from Lord of the Flies. Included among the "1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die", edited by Steven Schneider. It was selected as the official Colombian entry for the Best International Feature Film at the 92nd Academy Awards.

Peru

The Entity (2015)

Google Score: 66%

IMDb: 4.3/10

Description: A group of students decide to study 'reaction videos' and are led toward an old film, hidden in the archive room of a cemetery. It appears that everybody who has witnessed the film has met an untimely demise under suspicious circumstances. When the students view the footage, they discover first hand, what the demonic spirit is capable of. Fulfilling the ancient curse of a woman cruelly killed during the Spanish Inquisition.

Trivia: The Entity has been billed as Peru's first 3D horror film and to have been loosely based on true stories. Review websites Flickering Myth and Nerdly commented that the movie suffered from being too overly familiar to pre-existing works (Blair Witch, The Ring).

The Vanished Elephant (2014)

Rotten Tomatoes: 89%

Audience Score: 72%

Google Score: 88%

IMDb: 6.5/10

Description: Crime novelist Edo remains obsessed with what happened to his fiancee Celia after she disappeared during an earthquake. When an enigmatic woman brings him photos that may help him solve the mystery, he senses he is being drawn into a dangerous game.

The Secret Of Evil (2014)

Google Score: 65%

IMDb: 5/10

Description: Video footage depicting a supernatural encounter is all that remains of a filmmaker and his crew who disappeared while exploring a haunted house.

When Two Worlds Collide (2016)

Rotten Tomatoes: 91%

Audience Score: 69%

Google Score: 93%

IMDb: 7.6/10

Description: An indigenous environmental activist takes on the large businesses that are destroying the Amazon.

El Vientre (2014)

Google Score: 81%

IMDb: 6.1/10

Description: Silvia, a beautiful 45-year-old widow, is obsessed with having a child and finds in attractive but naive Mercedes the perfect candidate to bear it. Silvia kindly offers her a job and a room in her house, and then manipulates her into seducing a young man named Jaime. They soon fall in love and Mercedes becomes pregnant. Silvia will do anything in her power to keep the baby, even if it means leaving a couple of bodies behind.

Argentina

Terrified (2018)

Rotten Tomatoes: 77% 

Audience Score: 65%

Google Score: 82%

IMDb: 6.5/10

Description: Paranormal researchers investigate strange events in a neighbourhood in Buenos Aires.

Luciferina (2018)

Rotten Tomatoes: 83%

Audience Score: 25%

Google Score: 69%

IMDb: 4.6/10

Description: Natalia is a nineteen-year-old novice who reluctantly returns home to say goodbye to her dying father. However, when she meets up with her sister and her friends, she decides instead to travel the jungle in search of mystical plant.

Francesca (2015)

Audience Score: 67%

Google Score: 73%

IMDb: 5.3/10

Description: Two detectives track a serial killer who has been targeting the impure. To catch him, they'll have to solve the case of a girl who went missing 15 years ago.

Cold Sweat (2010)

Rotten Tomatoes: 75%

Audience Score: 

Google Score: 58%

IMDb: 4.8/10

Description: The movie follows Román, who stumbles upon his ex-girlfriend Jackie, who has somehow gotten caught up in a torture cult run by two sadistic, old men. The aging political radicals have managed to put Jackie’s life in incredible danger. But when Román and his friend try to help Jackie out of her confines, the elderly psychos prove to be more than meets the eye.

Penumbra (2011)

Rotten Tomatoes: 50%

Audience Score: 26%

Google Score: 75%

IMDb: 5.5/10

Description: A woman desperate to find a tenant for her decrepit apartment apparently finds the perfect candidate, unaware of a sinister plot involving an imminent eclipse.

Venezuela

The House At The End of Time (2013)

Rotten Tomatoes: None 

Audience Score: 72%

Google Score: 91%

IMDb: 6.8/10

Description: Dulce encounters apparitions in her house and unleashes a terrible prophecy. Thirty years later, Dulce, now an old woman, returns to unravel the mystery that has terrorized her for years.

Trivia: Winner of the Audience Award at Gävle Horror Film Festival 2016 (Sweden). Not only is it Venezuela’s highest-grossing horror film, it’s also the most distributed film from the country. By August 2016 it was announced that the American studio New Line Cinema acquired the rights of the film to make a remake for the American public. Hidalgo is still at the wheel so its chances of success are high.

Ecuador

Cronicas (2004)

Rotten Tomatoes: 71%

Audience Score: 77%

Google Score: 80%

IMDb: 6.9/10

Critics Consensus: An unsettling and absorbing cautionary tale with John Leguizamo playing an unscrupulous TV reporter who uses the medium to further his own goals.

Description: Reporter Manolo Bonilla (John Leguizamo) goes to a jail in Ecuador to interview Vinicio Cepeda (Damián Alcázar, Narcos, Narnia), a hit-and-run driver whose crime incited a riot. After Cepeda tells him he knows where a murderer called the Monster of Babahoyo buried a young female victim, Bonilla posts bail in the hopes that he'll learn more about the crime. Bonilla finds the girl's body, but, as he nears the scoop of his career, it looks as if Cepeda might be withholding some key details.

Trivia: Inspired by a true story? As well as being both a Cannes and TIFF favourite, Cronicas is the official submission of Ecuador for the 'Best Foreign Language Film' category of the 77th Academy Awards in 2005, it was produced by Guillermo del Toro and Alfonso Cuarón (Children of Men, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban) This is John Leguizamo’s first film in Spanish. He said he felt awkward talking in Spanish while acting, like he didn't know the language. 

English Language Horror

The Silent House (2011) This is in English

Rotten Tomatoes: 43%

Audience Score: 

Google Score: 72%

IMDb: 5.3/10

Critics Consensus: Silent House is more technically proficient and ambitious than most fright-fests, but it also suffers from a disappointing payoff.

Description: Sarah is working with her father and uncle to renovate an old family home to prepare it for sale. Long vacant, the house has no utilities, forcing the trio to rely on battery-operated lanterns to light their way. Sarah becomes separated from her relatives and soon finds she is trapped inside the cabin, with no contact with the outside world. Panic turns to real terror as the young woman experiences events that become increasingly ominous.

Trivia: Elizabeth Olsen (Wandavision) The plot is based on a true story that occurred in the 1940s in a small village in Uruguay. Contrary to the marketing's claim that the film was shot in one uninterrupted take, the entire movie was actually shot to mimic one continuous real-time take, with no cuts from start to finish, as a result the time span of the film's plot is exactly 86 minutes. It was shot in roughly 10 minute segments then carefully edited to hide the cuts.

Night of the Living Dead (1968) - This along with the rest of the Dead series are the work of George A. Romero, whose father is from Cuba.

Ash vs. Evil Dead - I love the Evil Dead movies and although this series wasn’t perfect (I’m sure die-hard fans will say it's far from it), I still think it kept to the heart of the main story. Bruce Campbell is obviously perfect and the addition of Lucy Lawless is amazing, it’s really Puerto Rican actor Ray Santiago that steals the show.

The Others (2001) - Directed by globally renowned Spanish director Alejandro Amenábar, The Others starring Nicole Kidman is a Spanish gothic horror movie that combines elements of the supernatural, psychological, and mystical. It focuses on the strange events that occur at the estate of a woman and her young children, plagued by spirits in the aftermath of WWII. It has the distinction of being the only English-language Spanish movie to be given the Best Film Award at Spain's national film awards, the Goyas. In total, the movie has seven Goya Awards, including for Best Director. Although it might not read as particularly “Spanish,” it was produced, written and filmed all in Spain, shooting in Cantabria, Northern Spain and Madrid.

[gingersnapwolves]

The Untamed, a brief summary [Part 1/6]

Okay my friends, I have heard your calls. Here’s my play-by-play version of The Untamed.

Note the first: I’m dividing it up into sections because it is, after all, a 50 episode series and I doubt anyone will want to wade through it all in one go.

Note the second: I am going to try to be as unbiased as possible. There are different ways to interpret some of the characters’ actions, especially later in the show when things get morally complex. You can find oceans of meta on this stuff, so I will try not to pick a side when at all possible. 

Note the third: I’m going to keep the tone pretty light and humorous. This show gets *dark* in the middle but y’all are reading a summary and I don’t want it to get too dry or too depressing. Please pardon me if I am flippant from time to time.

Part One: Sword Wizard School

I thought about doing a character guide but decided it would be easier to introduce you to characters as we meet them, because there are a LOT of characters. However, I am going to give you a brief primer on the important families/places.

Actually, let me back up a little further. The Untamed is a xianxia drama, so it’s about people trying to become immortal celestial beings. They fight monsters and do a lot of magic, and they live in clans/sects. A clan is a family. A sect is a cultivation style/school. The terms are often used interchangeably (even I’m guilty) but they are not exactly the same. Members of a clan will belong to that sect, but the sect will also take in outsiders to train, who are sect members but not clan members.

There are five Great Sects:

Province: Yunmeng; sect: Jiang, home: Lotus Pier

Province: Gusu, sect: Lan, home: Cloud Recesses

Province: Lanling, sect: Jin, home: Koi/Carp Tower

Province: Qinghe, sect: Nie, home: The Unclean Realm (this is not to say it is dirty, it’s from Buddhism and might also translate to ‘The Worldly Realm’)

Province: Qishan, sect: Wen, home: Nightless City/Nevernight (depending on translation) 

Here’s a map I made for my fic reference which shows roughly where these provinces are in relation to each other. I may have pretended they were cities in America so I could calculate mileage. Yes I am the world’s biggest nerd, thanks.

H’okay! The show is not in chronological order but I am going in chronological order because the point is to make this simple for you. I’ll admit that I may not get everything 100% correct because it’s been a while since I watched parts of it but I’ll try.

Setting: Caiyi Town, [Gusu]

ENTER A GREMLIN.

Meet Wei Wuxian. He is a 16 year old chaos gremlin with ADHD. He does not look 16 but actors in American dramas pretending to be teenagers also do not look 16 so we’ll let that go. He is with his adopted brother (also 16ish, but younger than Wei Wuxian) Jiang Cheng, and his adopted older sister, Jiang Yanli (probably about 6 years older).

Oh, right. Names. Most characters have two names, a birth name and a ‘courtesy’ name which is a fancy name they get when they’re old enough to get their swords and stuff. They also have titles. For the sake of not driving y’all crazy, I will choose the most commonly used name for the character and stick with it, and then give you a chart at the end so you’ll understand fanfiction.

Wei Wuxian and his siblings are headed to Sword Wizard School in Gusu, hosted by the Lan sect. Wei Wuxian is clearly planning to Be Himself during these lectures, and Jiang Cheng does Not Approve. Jiang Cheng is obviously very serious and concerned with appearances, which makes sense because he is the sect heir. As an adopted son, Wei Wuxian can goof off; Jiang Cheng does not have that luxury. (Wei Wuxian is the son of two of Jiang Cheng’s father’s friends, who died when he was young. More on this later.) Jiang Cheng reminds Wei Wuxian and the other disciples that are with them that they are representing the Jiang sect and they should make a good impression.

They don’t think they can get to Cloud Recesses before dark so they get rooms at an inn.

ENTER A SNOB.

Jin Zixuan is the next fun character you’ll meet. He’s also 16 or thereabouts despite looking 24 at minimum. He is a sect heir to the Lanling Jin and he does not like being near or interacting with strangers. He pays the innkeeper to rent the whole inn and throw any other guests out. Is this a dick move? I’m trying to be unbiased here, so yes. Yes it is.

Wei Wuxian tries to flirt with a couple of Jin Zixuan’s retainers to get them to allow the Yunmeng siblings to stay, but Jin Zixuan decides to be a big jerk about it. Fun fact! Jin Zixuan is betrothed to Jiang Yanli! He is literally throwing his betrothed out of an inn so he doesn’t have to share a building with people. Wei Wuxian gets pissy and picks a fight with him but Jiang Yanli convinces him that he’s not worth it (although she is much nicer about it than any of us would be in her shoes), and they decide to head up to Cloud Recesses despite the time.

But alas! In their haste, they leave their invitation behind.

ENTER AN ICE PRINCE

As the Yunmeng trio try to talk their way past the gate, Lan Wangji arrives. Also 16, he is your classic stoic, repressed gay, and is the younger brother of the Lan Sect leader. With him are a bunch of Lan cultivators and a guy on a stretcher who is clearly in rough shape. The Lan cultivators carry him inside.

Wei Wuxian, pure of heart and dumb of ass, decides that this is a great time to try to talk his way through the gate, figuring that Lan Wangji, being an important person, can let them in. Lan Wangji reacts about how you would expect a stoic repressed gay would to a cute boy flirting with him for the first time: uses a silencing spell on him, tells him he’s absolutely not admitted without their invitation, and locks them out. 

Jiang Cheng, who has spent the last 3 minutes desperately trying to get his brother to shut up before he gets them all in trouble, sends him back to town to find the invitation.

Int. Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

ENTER A SOFT MAN AND HIS EXTREMELY STARCHED UNCLE

Lan Xichen, the head of the Lan sect and Lan Wangji’s older brother, is studying the guy they brought in, with his uncle. Lan Xichen is young for a sect leader (he’s only 19 in the book but probably 24-25ish in the show) and his uncle advises him a lot of the time. The guy they brought is kind of dead but also kind of not. They say a bunch of stuff you won’t understand if you have not seen xianxia dramas before. It’s not really important.

Ext. Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

RE-ENTER THE GREMLIN

Wei Wuxian has come back with the invitation to find the rest of his sect no longer waiting outside and all of Cloud Recesses sealed by wards. “Wards are made to be broken,” he says, demonstrating a clear lack of understanding of their purpose. It’s a good thing he’s here for school.

He breaks in, carrying a couple jars of liquor, only to find Lan Wangji standing guard. Lan Wangji reprimands him for breaking important Lan sect rules like a) not breaking and entering, b) not coming in after dark, and c) bringing alcohol, which is forbidden. Wei Wuxian offers him one of the jars because he is 16 and stupid and for some reason thought a bribe was what this situation needed. Lan Wangji pulls a sword on him, which is definitely a reasonable response and not because he has his first boner and he’s angry about it.

They have a sword fight, basically to a draw. Lan Wangji drags him in to see Lan Xichen, who clearly thinks this is hilarious. Wei Wuxian blames everything on Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji. He also says intelligent things about the not-a-corpse they’re examining, because the writers wanted us to know that he’s not a whole dumbass. Lan Xichen basically slaps him on the wrist, tells him to behave himself and sends him off to the guest house his siblings were given, and then teases Lan Wangji about Baby’s First Crush.

Ext, Nightless City [Qishan]

ENTER AN OVER THE TOP VILLAIN AND HIS HENCHMEN

Nightless City isn’t actually nightless. It’s just never dark there because it’s on top of a volcano, because that’s where all the cool villains live.

This is the home of the Qishan Wen, who are Obviously Evil from the Black Outfits, Volcano Lair, and Shuffling Zombies. Their leader is Wen Ruohan. His personality is that he is evil. He’s saying a bunch of stuff you won’t understand yet and then sends his Obnoxious Son Wen Chao off to look for something. He also sends Wen Qing, who is related to him somehow, presumably. She asks if she can bring her brother, Wen Ning, and Wen Ruohan says sure because all he cares about is Being Evil in his Zombie Volcano Lair.

Int, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

ENTER A SLACKER and his friend, EVERY RETAIL EMPLOYEE DEALING WITH A KAREN YOU’VE EVER MET. 

They’re all at the first lecture, and there’s a ceremony where each visiting sect presents a gift to Lan Qiren (the uncle/teacher). I think we might see what the Jin give him but I don’t care. Right now we’re talking about Nie Huaisang, the younger brother of the sect leader of the Nie sect. He is baby. He has brought a bird to class for no reason other than that he caught it and thinks it’s cool. Presenting to the dour and stern Lan Qiren makes him nervous.

With him is Meng Yao. Unlike everyone else you’ve met so far, Meng Yao is not a member of the gentry. He is the son of the Jin sect leader and a prostitute. (Yes, this makes him Jin ‘I can’t breathe the same air as commoners’ Zixuan’s younger brother.) When he was old enough to do Sword Magic he went to the Jin sect and asked for admittance, and his father had him thrown down a set of 200 steps because his father is an Enormous Douche. (That’s not biased. Hating this dude is one of the few things everyone agrees on.) Then he went to the Nie sect, and they said, “Sure, you can come in, but you’re not really a disciple, mmkay?” and he said sure. But he has worked his way up to being the assistant to the sect leader which is a pretty important position for someone with his background. 

Naturally, because Meng Yao is Not Like the Others, a few people take this opportunity to gossip and talk smack about him. Meng Yao is upset but tries not to look it. Lan Xichen takes a moment to reassure him, saying that the Nie sect leader had written to him about what a helpful and awesome assistant he had now, and that Meng Yao obviously lived up to it. Meng Yao immediately develops the world’s Most Obvious Crush Don’t @ Me You Would Too.

ENTER MR. OBNOXIOUS, AN IRON MAIDEN, and A PUPPY. Fortunately these are the last characters you’ll meet for a while.

The Wen sect shows up at the gates of Cloud Recesses like ‘what up, I got a big attitude and fuck you’. The gate dude tells them they can’t come in without an invitation, and Wen Chao attacks him because he was raised in a volcano and they go in anyway. With Wen Chao are Wen Qing and her brother, Wen Ning. They are actually pretty awesome, you just don’t know it yet.

Wen Chao busts in on the Saluting Ceremony just as Jiang Cheng is trying to present their gift, and immediately begins insulting everyone there. You should count yourself fortunate that you’re only reading this because Wen Chao is literally the most obnoxious character in this show. Anyway, Wei Wuxian decides to pick a fight with him even though this is *obviously* a stupid thing to do. (I love Wei Wuxian with my whole heart but he is so stupid at 16 lmao.) He calls Wen Chao out on interrupting Jiang Cheng. Wen Chao reacts completely rationally and calmly BAHAHA who am I kidding, he pulls his sword out. Everyone else pulls their swords out. Wen Qing looks like she has the world’s worst migraine.

Lan Xichen takes out his flute and plays eight seconds of music that makes everyone’s swords go flying into the ceiling. Had I mentioned how awesome Lan Xichen is? Because he is Awesome.

Wen Chao gets even more pissy but Wen Qing shuts him down, saying she and her brother are there for Sword Wizard School and she’s sorry her cousin is such an asshole. Lan Xichen tells them to ‘try to come on time’ tomorrow. Had I mentioned how awesome Lan Xichen is? It bears repeating.

Ext, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

Wei Wuxian is making fast friends with Nie Huaisang. They decide to go fishing in one of the streams. He sees Wen Qing sneaking around and asks what she’s doing there. She blows him off.

Meng Yao stops Lan Xichen and says goodbye to him. Lan Xichen asks why he’s leaving so soon, and Meng Yao says that he can’t actually stay for the lectures, since he’s only an assistant to the Nie sect, not a disciple. Lan Xichen tells him that Nie Mingjue (the head of the Nie sect) is just and honorable and will surely reward him for working so hard. They make heart eyes at each other for like a solid thirty seconds before Meng Yao manages to leave.  I’m sorry, I’m trying to be unbiased. They gaze at each other longingly – no, shit, that’s still biased. They, uh, regard each other with mutual respect for thirty solid seconds and then Meng Yao leaves.

Meanwhile Jiang Cheng is Fretting about the fact that Wei Wuxian is Making a Bad Impression. He ain’t seen nothing yet. Jiang Yanli calms him down.

Wen Qing talks to her brother Wen Ning and is sad because he’s sick. She promises him that someday they’ll be able to leave Nightless City.

Int, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

Lan Qiren is lecturing. Wei Wuxian proposes some casual heresy. Lan Qiren gets mad and tells him to copy the Chapter of Conduct a thousand times, and throws him out of class. Jiang Cheng tries to crawl under his desk.

Instead of going to copy lines, Wei Wuxian wanders off and meets A PUPPY, ie Wen Ning. He is practicing his archery. Wei Wuxian proceeds to help him with his stance and Wen Ning looks like he just discovered his bisexuality. Wen Qing sees them together and is clearly not thrilled. Wei Wuxian asks her why she’s always wandering around the back hills of Cloud Recesses and asks if she’s looking for something. She tells him not to be stupid and leaves with her brother.

Lan Wangji drags Wei Wuxian back to the library for his punishment. Wei Wuxian proceeds to spend the next few hours doing Everything That Is Not That, which culminates in him exchanging Lan Wangji’s book for some porn when he’s not looking. Lan Wangji tears the porn up and tells him to piss off.

~romance~

Jiang Cheng: I hope you’re proud of yourself.

Wei Wuxian: I absolutely am.

They go back to their guest house. Wen Qing is there. She’s a doctor! Told you she was awesome. Jiang Yanli wasn’t feeling well and Wen Qing gave her some medicine. They talk about the fact that there aren’t lectures for a few days because Lan Qiren is off doing Official Stuff.

But there’s still fun to be had! There’s a water demon attacking people in the nearby town. Lan Xichen is worried that it’s serious and he’s going to go himself. Lan Wangji goes with him. Wei Wuxian asks if he and Jiang Cheng can go ‘get some practice’ as they fight lots of water demons in Yunmeng. Lan Xichen, remembering his brother’s obvious crush, says sure. Wen Ning wants to go too. So does Wen Qing. Lan Xichen suddenly feels like a chaperone on a field trip but says fine because he’s the cool older brother.

Wei Wuxian takes the opportunity to ask questions about the not-a-corpse from earlier. Lan Xichen politely tells him that’s it handled and not to worry about it. Wei Wuxian thinks there’s something he’s not telling him, and he mentions that to Lan Wangji, who agrees but won’t say so. Wei Wuxian can tell anyway because he’s learning to read Lan Wangji’s microexpressions.

They fight a water demon. Jiang Cheng gets injured and Wen Qing patches him up. He looks at her with puppy eyes. Some dumbass loses his sword in the water. Wen Ning tries to help him despite being uniquely unqualified to do so, and passes out. Wei Wuxian tries to rescue both of them, and Lan Wangji ends up rescuing all three of them despite clearly wanting to let the water demon eat them. Jiang Cheng buys a comb to give to Wen Qing but chickens out and doesn’t give it to her. Wei Wuxian deduces that Wen Ning’s illness is because of a previous bad experience with ghostly spirits or something, and gives Wen Qing a talisman to give to her brother that will help protect him from monsters. He says that no matter what she’s looking for at Cloud Recesses, he hopes the talisman will help Wen Ning.

Then he tries to buy Lan Wangji some fruit as a gift. Lan Wangji refuses to look at him. Lan Xichen starts mentally writing wedding invitations.

Ext. Nightless City [Qishan]

ENTER AN EDGELORD (sorry I forgot about him, in fact I think this happened earlier but the timing isn’t really important)

Meet Xue Yang. You have no idea who he is. Wen Ruohan is demanding he hand over something called yin iron. Xue Yang’s response to this is basically ‘choke me harder, Daddy’ and you’re left feeling vaguely disturbed.

Int. Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

It’s party time! Wei Wuxian smuggled some liquor back with him. He, Jiang Cheng, and Nie Huaisang get drunk. They give Jiang Cheng a hard time about his high standards for women.

Lan Wangji comes in like the hall monitor you hated in high school to break it up. Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang run away. Wei Wuxian uses a talisman on Lan Wangji to keep him from reporting them and make him take a drink of the alcohol. We all remind ourselves very firmly that he is only 16 and will do stupid shit, despite wanting to slap him. Lan Wangji has never had alcohol before and one drink makes him blackout drunk. Wei Wuxian has to babysit him for the rest of the night. Serves him right.

The next day, they’re all in trouble, even Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian tries to tell Lan Qiren that it’s not Lan Wangji’s fault, but Lan Wangji accepts his punishment anyway. They get hit with a stick a bunch of times.

Lan Wangji goes to recuperate in the cold springs. Lan Xichen, the world’s biggest troll, sends Wei Wuxian to do the same. Lan Wangji nearly has an aneurysm when Wei Wuxian tries to start taking his clothes off.

ENTER THE PLOT

They get pulled underwater and end up in a cave. It’s a magic cave where only members of the Lan clan are allowed to be. To keep the cave from killing him, Lan Wangji wraps his Magic Forehead Ribbon around Wei Wuxian’s wrist. This is the same magic forehead ribbon he told Wei Wuxian ten episode minutes ago that only parents, spouses, and children are allowed to touch. Draw what conclusions you will.

There’s a ghostly lady in the cave who is Lan Wangji’s ancestor. She tells them Evil Is Abroad. A long time ago a dude named Xue Chonghai took a bunch of pieces of metal and filled them full of evil energy. Everyone banded together and killed him, but the metal couldn’t be completely destroyed, so it was split into ‘the cardinal directions’ and then sealed and hidden. Ah ha! This is what Wen Ruohan is looking for! It’s called Evil MacGuffin yin iron.

Wei Wuxian says if it’s so powerful, why don’t they use it to fight back? Ghost lady says she tried that but it’s too evil and it doesn’t work. She gives them the piece that was sealed in the cave and tells them to go fight evil together. Lan Wangji is glad it’s too cold to have a boner.

Except then she throws them out of the cave and onto dry land and Wei Wuxian lands on top of him and he definitely gets one from that. Sorry, Lan Wangji, I don’t make the rules.

They’ve been missing for two days and everyone is really upset, especially Jiang Cheng, who thinks Wei Wuxian was just goofing off.

Lan Xichen takes the piece of yin iron they got in the cave and seals it in a pouch. They discuss the fact that Wen Ruohan is clearly collecting the pieces of yin iron and this is Bad News Bears. The yin iron will respond to other pieces of yin iron so they decide they should use the piece they have to locate the other pieces.

But first, classes are over! Despite the fact that each of these events has led seamlessly into the next and it seems like they’ve been there a week, they’ve actually been there six months. If you dealt with the Teen Wolf ‘timeline’ I assume you can deal with that lmao.

There’s a lantern-lighting ceremony to celebrate. Wei Wuxian paints a rabbit on his lantern because there were a bunch of rabbits in the cave and Lan Wangji clearly likes rabbits. This makes Lan Wangji smile for the first time. They all light their lanterns and make a wish.

Wei Wuxian wishes he can stand with justice and live without regrets. Lan Wangji looks at him like he’s about to propose. Wen Qing wishes she could protect her little brother and that he’ll always be safe. Jiang Cheng looks at her like he’s about to propose. Nie Huaisang wishes he can pass his classes and get the hell out of high school. Truly, the most relatable.

But the moment is ruined because people start teasing Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli, asking why they didn’t light a lantern together and wish for a happy marriage. Jin Zixuan, the paragon of reacting reasonably to things, storms off. He tells his sect members he doesn’t want to hear about the marriage and they should stop bringing it up. Wei Wuxian overhears and they get into a fight. Jiang Yanli manages to get Wei Wuxian to back off.

The next day, Wei Wuxian is being punished for punching a jerk in the face. He is kneeling on the rocks of the courtyard. But he’s already gotten distracted because there’s an anthill and he has ADHD. Lan Wangji calls him ‘unteachable’ and stomps off, clearly mad at his boner like usual.

Because this is kind of important, the two sect leaders have showed up to hash it out. Jiang Yanli’s dad says ‘listen, if your son doesn’t want to marry my daughter, we shouldn’t force him’. Jin Zixuan’s dad says, ‘kids are stupid and they don’t know what they want’. Jiang Yanli’s dad says, ‘well I absolutely agree your son is stupid but he’s being a jerk to my daughter so why don’t we politely call this off before something happens that makes one of us impolitely call it off’, and Jin Zixuan’s dad agrees. Jiang Yanli is upset, although why she actually wanted to marry Jin Zixuan is beyond everyone involved, including the audience. Then again it can’t be easy to hear that some dude who has barely even met you has decided you’re not good enough for him.

Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian sees Lan Xichen telling Lan Wangji ‘be careful’ and correctly deduces that Lan Wangji is leaving with the yin iron to try to find the other pieces, while Lan Xichen stays behind to protect Cloud Recesses since the Wen sect thinks it’s still there. He leaves a note that says ‘gone monster hunting, meet you back at home!’ Jiang Cheng nearly has an aneurysm, especially when his dad is like ‘lmao that kid is such a dumbass’.

~end Sword Wizard School~

okay, guys, what did you think? was this helpful? could you follow it? was it at least vaguely entertaining? should I keep going?

[mismess]

Can you infodump about howdy and co? If your ok with it, that is!

this took me 5 million years to get to my brain refused to work lmao BUT FHSKJHGJG I DON'T even know how to skdjhgsjg uhhh I'm just gonna type. I have a One Character mind so most of what i have is probably Howdy focused so i'm gonna start with him a bit. Also I'm including pictures Cause I Have Many Howdy(whose real name is Andrew James Anderson) was born and raised on his father's farm in a small heavily christian neighborhood, and it being the 30s to 50s it wasn't exactly the most accepting of living environments for a guy with ADHD who later in life found out he's bi, so he learned to hide a lot of who he is and put up a lot of walls around him, the person who probably knew him best was his sister Mary, she was his best friend and even then he still hid things from her.

When their father suffered a stroke living expenses and keeping up with the farm got very hard, and he turned to Ricky, a local drug dealer and old schoolmate, for help, which worked for a while and helped the family get back on their feet, until it ultimately would end up with him getting shot and dumped in the woods, Mary and his parents never truly knew what happened to him and he ended up filed as a cold case.

So now Howdy is a ghost, for like 70 years with basically nothing to do, and somehow manages to not think about or work on any of his issues and just further bottle up his emotions and problems and stew, cause he's a stubborn idiot. Which brings us to current(?) day, it's still a relatively small town but it has expanded and grown far more diverse, Anton, a jumpy millennial who is just trying his best but has no real direction, just inherited his father's antique shop after his father died(the shop that unknown to them is built right around where Howdy's body was buried and where Howdy's ghost mainly resides) and he and his best friend Bea, an aspiring bakery owner who also has a passion for the occult and fashion, are planning on cleaning it and opening it back up together, and they just so happen to probably be the two best people to accidentally resurrect an emotionally repressed guy.

While cleaning up Bea finds an ouija board around the shop and convinces Anton to play with it with her, which probably would have ended fine if a demon hadn't just so happened to be hanging around. Using it to communicate and tricking them to give permission to enter "the antique shop"(gaining him access to the human world, it NEEDS permission) it attempted to construct its own physical body, but Howdy intercepted it and accidentally stole like 70% of it's power, giving him his own body back.

Oops

Anton and Bea both don't know what to do and are afraid to report any of this to authorities cause one) who is gonna believe them and two) this guy.... Is NOT normal. He does not function like a normal human and people would immediately know he isn't human if they so much as listened to his heartbeat. Or saw the bullet hole he has in his stomach.

Anton, both worried for Howdy who doesn't know anything about today's world and has nothing to call his own, and also wanting to protect his and Bea's own asses get him to stay in the antique shop until they can figure out what to do. Bea kinda wants nothing to do with Howdy at first but doesn't really have any better ideas.

Thus ensues a journey of trying to contain a loose demon that wants it's damn power back from the stupid farmer zombie, trying to keep other people from finding out stupid farmer zombie is in fact a zombie, friendship, found family, and learning that stupid farmer zombie is actually like super traumatized and needs about a million hugs.

Luckily for him, Bea and Anton are both LGBT+, very caring, and more than willing to show him it's ok to be who he is and help him grow

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Political economy vs inflation

As Biden lays out ambitious plans to stimulate the US economy and fight inequality with new money creation (spending) and money destruction (higher taxes on corporations, capital gains and the right), a firing squad of economists assembled to issue dire inflation warnings.

They're repeating the economic doctrine of the pasty 40 years, an austerity doctrine that focuses on the inflationary risks of "deficit spending" (when governments don't tax as much money out of the economy as they inject in the same year).

It's a doctrine that made a pretense to being a science, going to far as to create a fake "Nobel Prize" in economics in a bid for scientific credibility (the Nobel administrators eventually folded the economics prize into its administrative remit).

The "neoclassicals" used abstract equations to "prove" a bunch of economic truths that - purely coincidentally - made rich people much, much richer and poor people much, much poorer.

Tellingly, the most exciting development in economics of the past 50 years is "behavioral economics" - a subdiscipline whose (excellent) innovation was to check to see whether people actually act the way that economists' models predict they will.

(they don't)

It's this vain, discredited and shambolic group who have assembled behind leaders like Larry Summers to decry Biden's stimulus spending plans, insisting that we are flirting with hyperinflation and the collapse of the USD as a global reserve currency.

But economists aren't the last word in understanding stimulus and inflation. If you're trying to figure out whether Summers is right and inequality, poverty and crumbling infrastructure are the price of American stability, it's worth checking out the *political* economists.

Here's a great place to start: Brown University economist Mark Blyth's interview with The Analysis, available in audio, video, and as a transcript:

https://theanalysis.news/interviews/mark-blyth-the-inflated-fear-of-inflation/

Blyth doesn't dismiss Summers' inflationary fears out of hand, but he does say that Summers is vastly overestimating the likelihood that stimulus spending will trigger inflation - Summers says there's a 1-in-3 chance of inflation, while Blyth says it's more like 1-in-10.

To understand the difference, it's useful to first understand what we mean by inflation: "a general, sustained rise in the level of all prices."

It's not a short-term spike (like we saw with GPUs when everyone upgraded their gaming rigs at the start of the pandemic).

It's also not an asset-bubble. House prices in Toronto are high, but that's not inflation. They're high because "Canada stopped building public housing in the 1980s and turned it into an asset class and let the 10 percent top earners buy it all and swap it with each other."

For inflation to happen in the wake of the stimulus, the spending would have to lead to too much money chasing not enough goods. Blyth gives some pretty good reasons to be skeptical that this will happen.

Start with the wealthy: they don't spend much, relative to their income. Their consumption needs are already met (that's what it means to be rich). You can only own so many Sub-Zero fridges, and even after you fill them with kobe beef and Veuve Cliquot, you're still rich.

What rich people do with extra money is *speculate*. That's why top-level giveaways generate socially useless, destructive asset bubbles. Remember, these aren't inflation, which is good, because everyone agrees that inflation is hard to stop once it gets going.

They're speculative bubbles. We have a much better idea of how to prevent bubbles: transaction taxes, hikes to the capital gains tax, and high marginal tax rates at the top bracket.

Okay, fine, so the rich won't be able to spend us into inflation after a broad stimulus, but what about poor people? Well, the bottom 60% of the US is grossly indebted, suffocating under medical debt, student debt and housing debt. A *lot* of that will disappear.

That will transfer a lot of stimulus money from poor people to rich people (who own the debt), which is why we need high capital gains and top-bracket taxation. But it will also sweep away a vast swathe of the financialized economy.

The point of long-term debt isn't to get paid off - it's to generate ongoing cash-flows that can be securitized and turned into bonds. Securitization converted "advanced" economies into shambling, undead debt-zombies.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/02/innovation-unlocks-markets/#digital-arm-breakers

It's securitization that led to the 2008 financial crisis, and it's securitization that sustains Wall Street's speculative acquisition of every single-family dwelling for sale in America as part of a bid to turn every home into an extractive slum.

Blythe explains that if the rich have nothing to buy and the poor use most of their stimulus to get out of debt, it will likely reorient the US economy to useful things: creating jobs to make stuff that people want to buy.

But what about the dollar's status as a global reserve currency? Won't all that stimulus send other countries scurrying around for another form of national savings? Blyth's answer is pretty convincing.

First, because there aren't any great alternatives: the European economy is growing at half the rate of the US. The Chinese economy is booming, but if you buy Chinese assets, there's a good chance you'll never be able to get them out of China.

Gold? Bitcoin? Leave aside the deflationary risk of pegging your currency to an inelastic metal or virtual token, leave aside the environmentally devastating effect of cryptocurrency (cryptos consume enough energy to offset the entire planetary solar capacity!).

Instead, think of the volatility of these assets, with their drunken, wild swings - countries that dump USD due to inflationary fears are hardly likely to switch to a crypto that can lose 20% of its value in a day.

And remember how much of that volatility is driven by out-and-out fraud, with major crypto exchanges and gold schemes imploding without warning, taking hundreds of millions of dollars with them. This is not a stable alternative to the dollar!

Beyond the lack of an alternative, there's another reason to believe that the USD will remain a global reserve, as Blyth elegantly explains.

Think of a Chinese company supplying the US market. Chances are, that's actually US company's subcontractor, getting paid in USD.

These end up swapped with the Chinese central bank for Chinese money, because Chinese companies need to pay salaries, rent, and other expenses in Renminbi, not dollars. The Chinese central bank holds onto the USDs, using them as a national savings, a reserve currency.

If China were to dump all its USD holdings into the world economy, it would tank the US dollar - which is to say, it burn China's own national savings. China's central bank needs to do something with those dollar savings, so they buy 10-year US T-bills.

Same goes for Germany - net exporters depend on a net importer to buy their stuff, and primarily that's the USA. They are stuck in a form of "monetarily assured destruction," and a crisis of confidence is unlikely "because you’ve got nowhere else to take your confidence."

Next, Blyth takes up is the proposed increase in the corporate tax rate, and he says that investors are actually surprisingly okay with this - he reminds us of Buffett's maxim, "Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked."

A hike in the corporate tax rate has the potential to reveal which of the "great" firms "are just really good at tax optimization" rather than efficient production. It'll smash those unproductive firms to pieces that can be bought by good firms for pennies on the dollar.

The final issue that Blyth takes up is an excellent one for this May Day: the relationship of higher wages to inflation. When the US had large, centrally managed industries with large, centralized unions, there was the risk that higher prices would trigger higher wages.

But the US doesn't have a unionized workforce with guaranteed COLA inflationary rises - there's no "wage-price spiral" risk of higher prices leading to higher wages and then higher prices.

The neoclassical theory of wages is based on the "marginal productivity" and "higher than outside option" theories: wage-levels are the product of how much money they stand to make from your work, and how much someone else is willing to pay you to work for them.

But economists like Suresh Naidu describe how high-tech surveillance can disrupt this equilibrium: you can spy on workers instead of paying them more, can impose onerous conditions on them that wring them of everything they can produce.

This kind of bossware was once the exclusive burden of low-waged, precarious workers, but thanks to the shitty technology adoption curve, it is working its way up the privilege gradient to increasingly elite workforce segments.

Digital micromanagement went from the factory floor to remote customer-support reps to office workers who are minutely surveilled by Office 365, all the way up to MDs and other elite professionals:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/24/gwb-rumsfeld-monsters/#bossware

This has led to increased profits for firms - firms now take a larger share of their productivity gains, and workers see stagnant or declining wages. That excess profit represents slack in the system.

It means that even if companies' costs go up, they can hold prices steady - all they need to do is reduce their retained profits.

We've had 40 years of price stability at the expense of a living wage for working people.

Higher wages are only inflationary if we assume that the 1% will continue to extract vast sums from their investments and use them to kick off destructive asset bubbles.

Image: badsci https://www.flickr.com/photos/7941730@N06/8625213990/

CC BY-SA: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

[mst3kproject]

Creature with the Atom Brain

With a title like that, I don't think I need to justify featuring this movie on an MST3K blog, but it does star Richard Denning from The Black Scorpion and Saul John Launer of I Was a Teenage Werewolf, and was directed by Edward L. Cahn of The She-Creature. Writer Curt Sidomak managed to avoid MST3K but contributed to several previous Episodes that Never Were as well.  The movie's loopy atomic zombies plot is pure 50's shlock and couldn't be better suited to playing in front of Joel and the bots.

Mobster Frank Buchanan is out of prison and determined to put the hurt on everybody who ever betrayed him.  To this end he has recruited a mad scientist, Dr. Wilhelm Steigg, to build him an army of remote-control radioactive zombies.  Forensic pathologist Dr. Chet Walker figures out this ploy surprisingly quickly, and even more surprisingly manages to convince the local government and military of the nature of the problem.  Walker and the police track Buchanan and Steigg down to their lead-lined lair, but the cops and military together might still not be a match for the criminals' entire undead army!

Creature with the Atom Brain is a curious movie to try to review.  Overall it is very competently made – the photography is good, the characters can be told apart and I remember their names, the actors and direction are serviceable, the effects are all right.  Nothing stands out as spectacular, but none of it is particularly bad, either, and while it never quite realizes actual horror it is nevertheless tense and entertaining.  It has all the qualifications to be a real movie... while still being about a mobster with an army of remote-control radioactive zombies.  The only thing I can think of to compare it to is Fiend Without a Face, in that it's an earnest attempt but the subject matter makes it impossible to take seriously.

But you know what?  Let's pretend we are taking it seriously.  What does Creature with the Atom Brain have to say?  I would argue that it's a movie about our culture's relationship with death and the dead.

Obviously, people are afraid of dying – although the world is full of religious traditions that offer a variety of answers, we really don't know if there's an afterlife or what form it might take.  Even if you're, say, a Christian, you hope to go to heaven but depending on various factors hell and purgatory are also options.  If you're a Hindu or a Buddhist, you're fairly sure you'll be reincarnated, but as who or what you'll never know until you get there.  The Undiscovered Country is the ultimate unknown, which makes it a terrifying prospect.

But Creature with the Atom Brain is not about what happens to our minds or souls or whatever you want to call those.  It's about what happens to the body, which has equal potential to horrify.  Remember when there were the news stories about covid victims stored in refrigerated trucks, and this was presented as something awful instead of a practical solution to funeral homes running out of space?  As much as we are afraid of what will become of our souls, we are also terrified that our bodies will suffer disrespect after our deaths, when we're not there to look after them anymore.

When Dr. Steigg set out to create his remote control zombies, his intention was to use them essentially as robots, as substitutes that could do jobs too dangerous or difficult for normal living people. This isn't a bad idea in principle, and nowadays we do use machines for a number of such tasks.  Yet when we watch Steigg explain this to Buchanan, we shudder.  The horror in the idea comes from the thought that our bodies might be used for such a thing.  This is not what we want for our mortal remains – we would prefer to sleep quietly in the grave or be quickly destroyed in the crematory.

A comparable situation actually existed in the early to mid nineteenth century, and you may be familiar with it if you've studied medical history or seen any of a number of Burke and Hare movies.  Anatomists and medical students needed human cadavers to dissect, but the only ones legally available to them were those of executed criminals.  In the UK at that time you could be hanged for just about anything, but that still wasn't enough bodies – so grave robbers known as 'resurrection men' would dig up corpses and sell them to meet the demand.  People were terrified that their own bodies or those of their loved ones would end up on the dissecting table, and went to all sorts of lengths to try to protect graveyards from these depredations.

The interesting thing here is that this attitude has since changed. Nowadays many people voluntarily donate their bodies to science or medicine, so that what was once considered a horrific fate is now a common practice.  I don’t have room here to discuss why this changed, but the point is that it did – that suggests to me that in the world of this movie, having your corpse work in a mine or a condemned building after your death would eventually not be seen as so terrible.  It would be like donating your organs, a way you can help others even after your own death.

Creature with the Atom Brain doesn't consider this possibility.  It only wants to horrify, and in order to do that it considers the worst possible outcome of such a situation – what if you met the zombified version of somebody you'd known while they were alive, and didn't realize it?  Early in the film, we meet Dr. Walker's friend and colleague, detective David Harris.  Harris is close to the entire Walker family, particularly seven-year-old Penny, who calls him 'Uncle Dave'.  Steigg and Buchanan set out to murder and zombify Walker himself, since he is the greatest threat to their operation, but end up getting Harris by mistake because he was driving Walker's car.  Rather than try again, they decide to use his reanimated corpse as a spy.

This entails sending him to the Walker house to get information from Mrs. Walker and Penny.  The two can tell that there's something wrong with Harris (the worst moment is when Penny takes his hand and observes how cold it is) but assume that he must be ill or that there is some other ‘normal’ explanation.  So does everybody else, until it's almost too late.  The zombie Harris represents the ultimate disguise for Buchanan and Steigg, which must be an intentional motif because earlier in the movie Buchanan had another zombie identify itself by his name, so that his enemies will know whose revenge this is.

This goes back to the idea of our bodies being misused.  When we no longer have control over our remains or our image, what might others do with them?  This is becoming a particularly worrying idea in the twenty-first century, as we learn to create what might be considered digital zombies. Would Audrey Hepburn have approved of her image being recreated for a chocolate commercial?  Would Sir Lawrence Olivier have accepted the role of the villain in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow if he'd still been alive?  Would Robert Kardashian have liked having Kanye West as a son-in-law?  We don't know and we can't ask them, but we can put whatever words in their mouths we like.

(The issue of how one's image might be altered after death is also an important one to trans people.  This is not relevant to the movie and even if it were, I don't feel qualified to discuss it here, but nor do I want to seem like I’m ignoring it.  For a brief discussion of trans rights and death, check out Caitlin Doughty's video on the subject here.)

One thing it's interesting that the movie does not do is ever have the zombies turn on their masters.  Poor murdered Harris would have been the perfect character to do this with, since he has an emotional connection to the people around him that the other corpses, those of dead criminals, do not.  Since he was zombified sooner after death than the others, they could even offer a quasi-scientific justification. Yet the story never goes there.  Zombie-Harris behaves as a programmed machine until the equipment controlling him is destroyed, whereupon he and the others simply keel over.  These corpses have no memory or initiative of their own.  If there is a soul, it has departed and cannot be retrieved.  This is emphasized by the way Steigg and Buchanan talk about their creations – they call them 'creatures', not 'men' or 'people'.

At the end of the film, Walker and his wife celebrate Penny's birthday, with the gift of a new doll supposedly from Uncle Dave to replace the one the zombie destroyed.  Penny asks why Uncle Dave couldn't come to the party himself, and her parents tell her that he had to go away for his work.  This struck me as odd, because it's one thing to not tell her that Uncle Dave became a zombie under the bad guys' control, but quite another not to tell her that Uncle Dave has passed away.  Death is an inevitability, and children will eventually need to learn this (I had a room-mate who used to say God made hamsters in order to teach small children about death).  When Penny is older, she will doubtless figure out the real reason Uncle Dave wasn't there for her birthday, and she may resent her parents lying to her.

This is the core of the movie's theme, which is that death is something we do not wish to confront.  When the dead are up and walking around, or indeed laid out on the dissecting table with their organs being taken apart, we cannot ignore them anymore.  The zombies of Creature with the Atom Brain literally look their victims in the eye and force them to stare down their own mortality.  Peace is restored when the dead return to their graves and we can go back to pretending they do not exist, as the Walkers do at Penny's party.

The great thing about Creature with the Atom Brain is that you can watch it with this in mind, or you can just turn your brain off for a silly movie about remote-control radioactive zombies.  I enjoy it in both capacities.

[living-with-pmd]

11 Women With PMDD Share What It's Really Like

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder is the evil cousin of PMS. They share the same types of symptoms—moodiness, increased hunger, cravings, fatigue, cramps, pain, brain fog, and depression, among others—but for PMDD sufferers, those symptoms get so bad they can cripple a woman's ability to lead a normal life.  

While up to 85 percent of women get PMS, according to the US Department of Health, only about 5 percent of women experience PMDD, according to the American Journal of Psychiatry.

We asked women with PMDD what it's really like living with the disorder. Here are their stories:

"I was diagnosed with PMDD last summer. Six months prior to my diagnosis, I started taking a certain birth control and soon every month I was experiencing severe PMS issues. I am a generally happy person, but during those few days I was someone entirely different. I was extremely depressed and anxious, having much more frequent panic attacks, and was super sensitive and lonely. I was even suicidal, which was terrifying. And the worst part was I was convinced that I had always been this miserable, and that I would always be this miserable, and it was never going to change. It felt as if someone had completely burned out the light in me and all happiness and joy and hope was gone. I didn't make the connection that it was related to my period but thankfully a close friend did. I have since switched birth control, which helped a lot, and increased the dosage of my anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds. Most importantly, I am aware of the way I feel those few days so I know to expect it, and I can logically remind myself that I will stop feeling that way soon. Looking back, I realize that I've probably always had pretty bad PMS or PMDD. The birth control worsened it but it was also causing a lot of issues I wasn't aware of previously as well." —Katherine H., 22, Edmonds, WA

———————————

"PMDD is out of control. I cry really easily for about a week. My biggest issue is that I am convinced that I am failing at everything—being a wife, a mom, work projects, fitness, my whole life! And even though it feels so real I constantly have to question if my feelings are valid or if they are amplified by my cycle. I just set an alert in my phone to remind me to consider my hormones the next time I feel that way." —Krysten B., 32, Toronto, CA

———————————

"A week before my period, I become a complete psycho, completely unlike myself. I'm tearful, want to eat everything that's sweet or salty, have absolutely no tolerance for anything other than perfection, and prefer to be left completely alone. I already take an antidepressant but my PMDD was a complete nightmare so my doctor gave me Prozac to take for just 10 days a month. Basically, I start it when I start to get that irrational feeling and keeping taking it until my period starts. And that's just the emotional stuff. On the physical side, I have debilitating cramps, backaches, and headaches that last for days. Yep. I'm a peach." —Kristen L., 40, Knoxville, TN

———————————

"In the past, PMDD almost made me suicidal and totally broke my spirit. Yes it wasthat bad. Every month. Eventually I got tired of being a 'crazy PMS woman' and decided I needed to fix this. Since I don't like to take pharmaceuticals, I branched out to homeopathic remedies and I discovered St. John's Wort and essential oils, especially clary sage and Doterra Calm-Its. It's a lot better now but I still have my hard days." —Amy S., 43, Zebulon, NC

———————————

"My PMDD got so bad I had to go to a psychiatrist and be put on Prozac along with another antidepressant I was already taking. I was a mess—anxious, crying randomly over the smallest thing, and eating everything in sight. One example is someone made a YouTube mashup of the Age of Ultron trailers with Pinocchio footage and the 'I've got no strings on me' song and that wrecked me for weeks. Every time I thought about scenes from Pinocchio I would start panicking and crying at my work desk. It's been a few years and I'm better now. I'm off birth control and weening myself off the Prozac. I notice a week before my period I will sob during any sad part in a movie or book I'm reading, and a day or two before, I notice I'm more likely to be anxious." —Kate W., 36, Alaska

———————————

"This has impacted my ability to work effectively. My pet peeve is when people say 'it must be close to your time of the month' when they simply don't like what I'm saying. I have run into that problem a lot at previous jobs and it makes it really hard to be taken seriously. It's bullshit because my feelings are valid regardless and also PMDD is not a joke. I am so lucky now to have a male boss who understands but it wasn't always that way. I have also have found a lot of relief with naturopathic and herbal remedies." —Amalia F., 28, Vancouver, Canada

———————————

"My PMS was tolerable until my second child was born and then everything went off the rails. I'd be looking forward to plans with others, happy, and then about 10 to 14 days before my flow would start, my mood would turn on a dime. I'd be horrible—crying, screaming that ~nobody understands~, just so much emotional pain. I'd basically lock myself up in the bedroom for a full day to cry, get angry, and feel sorry for myself. It took three doctors before I finally found one who would listen to me before I was finally diagnosed with PMDD. I took Prozac for three years for it but it made me feel numb, like a zombie and not like myself. So I quit and my family just deals with me now. As I've gotten closer to menopause the PMDD is not as bad, but can be very unpredictable due to hormonal swings from perimenopause. The worst part now is I feel like my friendships have suffered. I always seem to have episodes around major holidays and events and I end up bumming everyone out if I do show up so I end up staying home a lot." —Colleen T., 50, St. Paul, MN

———————————

"I'm overly emotional for the week before my period. Saying that makes it sound like it's not that bad but I get so distraught that my fiance has actually scheduled it in his phone as 'blood sport' to remind himself what's coming. I'm thankful that he's patient because I also feel like everyone hates me that week, too." —Kenlie T., 36, New Orleans, LA

———————————

"All month long I'm fine and feel even and calm and then suddenly, the week before my period, I can't handle even the tiniest little thing. My irritability goes through the roof (which is not great since I have a 5-year-old) and I feel like I have no friends. It really makes me sad." —Jessica S., 28, Broomfield, CO

———————————

"I know my period is coming because all of a sudden all of my joints hurt, especially my knees and ankles. I also get crazy gnarly cramps and once I even had a cyst that ruptured while I was on a date and the guy had to take me to the hospital! It was so embarrassing. Thankfully my husband now is very understanding when this time rolls around each month. The worst part is people who just think I make this stuff up. Some months are better than others and sometimes the pain is completely debilitating! My emotions are also a rollercoaster. Anytime I see something cute or inspiring, I burst into tears." —Ivie C., 21, Rexburg, ID

———————————

"My PMDD manifests in both mental and physical symptoms. From the time I got my period at age 12, I've had extreme cramps and heavy bleeding. I'd leak at school through a super maxi pad every class so I'd tie sweatshirts around my waist and have to scrub my clothes when I got home. It was super humiliating. I'd have to take six to eight ibuprofen at a time to deal with cramps, and if I didn't I'd end up on the floor sweating like I had the flu. Sometimes I'd even throw up. This meant I ended up spending a lot of time sick in bathrooms and knew where every restroom was at all times. Birth control helped manage the PMDD and other issues, but as soon as I was done having kids, I had a hysterectomy. That was the best thing I've ever done." —Mandy P., 39, Mendon, UT

https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19972132/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder/

[bellasweetwriting]

Only The Brave

spencer reid x f.reader

not my gif

masterlist

plot; when the BAU goes to New York for a possible murder case, Spencer Reid gets to meet the captain of the 23rd Precinct of the NYPD, whom he immediately feels attracted to

warnings: fluff, angst, nervous Spencer, typical criminal minds stuff,

word count: 3.3k

Spencer arrived late to work that day.

"Woah... stop right there, pretty boy, " said Morgan as he interrupted him. Reid was trying to walk quickly to his desk and avoid any kind of interaction, but clearly, the curious FBI agents had other plans. "You look like if a train just ran you over."

"Not in the mood for your insults right now, Morgan, " defended Spencer as he sat on his chair.

"I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you."

"Well let me get you a Miss Congeniality award because you are just so darn delightful."

"What on Earth is going on with you, Doc? You never arrive late and even less with a sarcastic tone. What happened last night?"

Spencer couldn't hide it anymore. His pulse was unsteady and he was trembling. He had to tell someone.

"I had a bad date, " he murmured. Derek stepped closer.

"You what?" Derek asked, leaning in closer to Spencer. The doctor exhaled, looking around to Emily and JJ who were minding their own business before looking at Morgan.

"I had a bad date, " he repeated a little bit louder. Spencer sighed before continuing. "She was incredibly beautiful and the universe had to screw it up. Her name was Athena so I obviously started referencing the Greek Goddess which apparently she hated when that happened. And then, I started talking to her about organic chemistry, and guess what? She says "Oh! I took organic chemistry last year." so I obviously questioned if she was in college. Turns out, she's in senior year of high school... and I messed up the girl. She was waiting for a Sam, not a Spencer, and the girl I was supposed to meet had left an hour before because I never showed up. And Athena said that if I happened to actually be Sam, she wouldn't want a second date." Morgan raised his eyebrows, not knowing what to say. His problem was even worst than he imagined and he was kinda regretting asking in the first place. "So yeah, that's why I look like a zombie in The Walking Dead. How was your weekend, Morgan? Huh?"

"Oh my God! Spencer!" Exclaimed JJ as she approached them. Morgan started making signals with his hands to stop her from talking but she didn't look at him. "How was the date last night? Did you like my friend Amy?"

"Do you hate me JJ?" She looked at him confused. "Do you fancy awkward social engagements as a way of torture? Because if you have a problem with me then cry me a river and then drown yourself in it."

And with that, Spencer stood up and walked towards the coffee machine, leaving JJ really confused.

"Years of catching criminals and you don't understand simple hand signals, " critiqued Morgan.

"What on Earth happened on that date?"

"It is worse than you could possibly imagine. Probably will traumatize him and won't date for the next five years."

"Oh my..." whispered JJ while Morgan nodded.

"Guys!" Exclaimed Rossi, catching everyone's attention. "We got a case. A very important one."

"Do you know what case he's babbling about?"

"Nothing has come to my desk, " said JJ to Morgan. "That is weird."

Everyone entered the conference room and Spencer immediately walked towards JJ with a cup of coffee for her.

"Sorry for yelling at you, " he apologized. "I've just had a really bad night and took it out with you. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Spence, everyone has the right to be in a bad mood. I'm glad you apologized, and thanks for the coffee."

"You're welcome." Both sat next to the other, waiting for Rossi to announce the new case. "Do you know what this is about?"

"I have no idea, " she replied, soon enough to receive Rossi, who started presenting the images of four women.

"Four women have gone missing in the same neighborhood of New York City, no bodies have been found. The detectives on the case called me personally with the suspicion that this is no longer a missing person case and it's rather a murder case, drawn to the fact that the victims have comparable face structure, hair color, body type, skin tone, and social status."

"The detectives called you?" Asked JJ. "Are they the higher command or?"

"No, uhm, their boss didn't think it was a murder case but they seemed so sure over the phone so I decided to take the case and help them out. I mean is their case, they can do whatever they think it's appropriate and ask for help if they need to."

"So we have no corpses, and this hasn't been officially named as a murder case by the higher authority of these New York detectives. Am I getting everything or did I miss something?" Questioned ironically Derek and Spencer decided to answer anyway.

"And, they called Rossi personally instead of presenting the case to JJ's office or calling Hotch."

"Yeah, that too, " said Morgan. "Rossi is there another explanation as to why we are taking this case?"

"Fine, " Rossi broke, inhaling deeply, "I want to meet their captain. And also save these women, of course."

"What are you talking about? Who's their captain?"

"The youngest female police captain in the entire country, " replied Hotch. "She's younger than Reid."

"Woah, " whispered Spencer, "but didn't you say she doesn't know that we are coming and that she doesn't think this is a murder case?"

"We'll try to convince her, " assured Rossi.

"Wheels up in 30," said Hotch, even though he wasn't convinced.

•••

The team arrived at the precinct, receiving bad looks from part of the detectives and cops. Nobody knew that the FBI was supposed to come.

"SSA Rossi, " someone called Rossi. A detective in his mid-30s walked towards the team with a smile. "I'm Detective Garrido, we spoke on the phone."

"Pleasure to meet you, detective, is your partner here?"

"Yes, here, Detective Smith." A young man raised his eyes from the file in his hands and walked towards the team, greeting everyone with a nervous smile. "We are both on the case."

In the second, Hotchner interrupted. He wasn't feeling alright with this case, something was bothering him.

"Gentlemen, I'm SSA Hotchner, may we speak with your supervisor?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask that, " whispered Garrido.

"I'll go find her, " told Smith before walking towards their boss's office, not so sure about if it was a good idea.

Spencer looked at the case files next to Emily. Indeed, the victims were similar to one another, also neighbors. But also, they were similar ages, probably they go to the same school, probably even friends. There was something more about this case that Rossi wasn't sharing.

"What does your boss thinks about this case, Detective?" Asked Hotch, looking at the file Spencer was holding.

"Well, there is the fact that the girls are friends and she thinks they ran away, but we don't. We think there's something else going on."

"So you called us, " finished Emily. "Yeah, definitely there's something going on."

"You did what!?" The team heard someone screaming from the captain's office. Everyone glanced at each other, not knowing what to do or how to proceed.

"God..." mumbled Garrido before looking at the BAU. "Ready to meet the witch of the west?" He turned around. "She's a pain in the ass."

In that, the door opened. A young woman walked out of the office. You could see how the officers were scared of her, and how nobody looked at her directly in the eyes.

She was beautiful, she spread confidence at every step, and kind of made you step back a little. She was indeed scary, and she didn't seem upset about that. She knew that she wasn't liked, yet still, that didn't let that bother her.

"Agents, " Y/N said, looking at the team. "My name is Captain Y/L/N, NYPD. I'm aware that detectives Garrido and Smith called you about the missing girls' case, behind my back. Let me tell you that you are welcome to work the case here in the conference room, but you would work hard to prove to me that these girls are actually missing. Also, detectives Garrido and Smith are at your disposition since this is their case, and also, their last case." The captain turned around to look at the detectives. "We will talk about your suspension and transfer another day."

The captain looked again at the team with a pretended smile.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, captain. I'm Agent Rossi, these are Agents Hotchner, Morgan, Prentiss, Jareau, and Doctor Reid."

When Y/N reached Reid's hand, he felt electricity around his body. His eyes were fully focused on the captain. He couldn't help but smile. She was beautiful, her eyes shined as she greeted him.

"Did you know that being in love reduces headaches frequency in half?" He quickly said, surprising everyone. "When researchers at the Stanford University School of Medicine gave subjects with chronic headaches a nasal spray with a dose of oxytocin, or the "love hormone," in it, they found that 50 percent of participants reported their head pain to be cut in half after four hours, with an addition 27 percent reporting no pain at all in the same timeframe."

Y/N nodded before letting go of his hand, looking at the team with a tiny smile.

"Call me if you need anything. I'll be in my office." She turned around and walked towards her office, avoiding the detectives that tried to talk to her.

Morgan and Emily turned around quickly to look at Spencer, who was blushing and staring at the floor.

"Don't say a thing, " mumbled the doctor. "Don't even— no."

"You have the hots for the captain!" Morgan exclaimed, making Spencer stand up and walk away. "Wait! Reid!"

"Leave me alone!"

While Morgan and Emily were teasing Reid, Hotch and Rossi entered Y/N's office, finding her sitting on her chair, looking around case files.

"Captain, " called her Rossi, making her look at them, "about the detectives..."

"Don't try to tell me that they were doing the right thing and that I shouldn't transfer them or suspend them. They didn't follow my orders."

"But they said that you didn't think it was a murder case."

"A murder case? Do they think there is murder involved? They never approached me about their suspicion. Actually, I remember they took their case on their own hands, never consult me about anything around it. If you want me to be honest, four teenage best friends go missing the same day, no bodies found... I see that as a teenage rebellion, not a missing case. And now they think there's a killer involved?"

"Captain, they are just asking for our help, nothing more, " replied Rossi. "I promise you that this is nothing personal. I'm actually a big fan."

"Agent, what would you think if your team talked bad behind your back until the point that they don't even consult you on things like asking the help of the FBI. It is insulting. I can tolerate being called witch, not being completely ignored and taken for granted by two sexist detectives who think I'm not able to do my job. Now if you excuse me, Agents, I'll continue working while you find out who kidnapped these girls."

And with that, Y/N returned to work while Rossi and Hotch left the office.

"What did the Captain say?" Asked JJ, catching Spencer's attention.

"She's going to let us work, " replied Hotch, "but she's going to suspend the detectives."

"For not thinking like her?" Assumed Morgan. "That's stupid."

"No, because apparently they never shared the details of the case with her. They didn't even tell her that they suspected that the girls were kidnapped and not that they left and were missing. And she's right."

"Let's just find these girls, " told Hotch as he sighed. "What do we got?"

•••

After the parents of the girls received a mysterious call from part of the kidnapper and Garcia wasn't able to identify the caller, Y/N started to believe that this was the work of a kidnapper, and after a few hours, the BAU was able to present the profile to the officers and the Captain.

"We are looking for a white man, between his late-30s and mid-40s, shy, probably works in the school of the girls as a janitor."

"He was able to track the girls' routine, by knowing exactly when they leave school and when they arrive home, also, knowing that the girls were going to be together on Friday, " said Emily.

"We think that we are not dealing with a killer for now. It's most unlikely that the stalker would kill his victim in the first 48 hours. He wants to spend time with them, complete the fantasy that he has made up in his mind with these girls as it leads, " announced Spencer."

"He was probably raised with sisters that weren't nice to him. He was probably bullied by his siblings and now he's trying to seek revenge with girls that look like his sisters, that's why he picked girls who are close to one another and also, that look alike."

"How are you certain about that?" Asked one of the officers.

"In the message that the Unsub left to the parents, he said "They are going to pay. They are going to pay for what they did.", clearly talking about his own personal experience that he now portrayed in the four girls. It's most likely that the stalker brought the girls to his own family house to complete the fantasy."

"We are looking for people that worked on the high school the girls attended. A shy employee with a low position, trying not to upset any of his superiors, with a job that makes him able to watch the girls. He's had this plan on his head for a long time."

"Give this profile to the workers at school and the parents, see if someone like that has done work in their houses. It's possible that he has stepped outside his comfort zone before and has actually interacted with the girls previously."

At the end of the profile, the BAU looked over the captain, waiting for her approval. She nodded before standing in front of the officers.

"You heard the FBI. Catch this guy and bring these girls home. Dismissed."

The officers stood up and left the conference room, leaving the Agents, the two detectives, and the captain. Y/N turned around, nodding slowly.

"Thanks for your help, Agents. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Actually, " said Morgan, making Spencer even more nervous than he already was. "You can join the doctor as he looks for records about the employees in the girls' high school."

"Absolutely. After you Doctor Reid." Spencer nodded nervously before walking towards the door, promising to himself that he was going to kill Morgan when the case ends.

•••

"Could you remind me what are we looking for?" Questioned Y/N as she looked over the files of the employees in the Dean's office.

"White male, late-30s to mid-40s, no complaints in his job, probably a janitor, PE coach, counselor or a teacher, something that gives him the opportunity to be close to the girls."

"You said that he probably did some work in one of the girls' houses, " Y/N pointed and Spencer nodded. "Don't know about you but I would be able to tell if my teacher is fixing my kitchen."

"It's very hard to predict when and how the unsub stepped out of his comfort zone. This kind of stalker is unlikely to have criminal records or even complaints against him. They are a ghost, dreaming about his mission for a long time. They are cautious, organized, intelligent. Probably new to the job. Look for people that started working at most two years ago."

The captain nodded. Both reached for the same file, making their hands touch one another. The doctor looked at her quickly before she softly looked at him. Both moved their hands, pretending as if nothing happened.

Y/N wasn't able to say when she felt Spencer's hand touching hers. It was like an electric current traveling her body.

"How do you remember all of this stuff?" Interrogated the captain and Spencer smiled.

"I have an eidetic memory, " he replied. "I remember a lot of stuff all the time." He glanced at her. Y/N was smiling. "Did you know that being married and in love makes you live longer? According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, married individuals were 58 percent less likely to die over an eight-year period compared to those who had never made it to the altar."

"That's something good to know, " Y/N said with a smile before looking at the records again. "Hey, I think we got our guy."

Y/N gave the curriculum to Spencer, who read it. Immediately, he called Garcia so she could look into the guy.

•••

Michael Wood had the four girls in the basement of his family house just as Reid said. Garcia was able to look into Michael’s life and turns out his month died about two weeks ago and left the family heritage to his sisters and not him, acting as his trigger.

"Detectives, " the captain called, "you were right. Next time, try to talk to me instead of acting on your own."

"So, are we suspended?"

"Yeah, you are. Two weeks. That would let you learn to not disrespect your superior again. But... you will still work at the precinct after your suspension." Both nodded. "Now, leave your gun and badge in my office. See you in two weeks with a new case. Dismissed."

The captain turned around to look at Spencer, who was nervously waiting next to his black SUV. When she saw him, she slowly walked towards him with a tiny smile threatening to appear in her face.

"Good case, captain, " he said to her. "We brought the girls back home and you earned more respect, it appears."

"It appears that way, " Y/N whispered. "You know the worst part of being a police captain?" He shook his head while she exhaled slowly. "I miss the field. Catching bad guys, rescuing people. I missed it."

"Well, you are great at it." Y/N chuckled.

"Being a captain has been my dream forever, but sometimes I tend to forget how good it is to be a detective, solve cases, and interrogate suspects. That's maybe why I was so pissed at Garrido and Smith. They have nerve, they follow their instincts. If they hadn't disobeyed my orders, God knows what would’ve happened to those girls. Being the youngest captain in the country has his downsides. I'm always focused on doing the right thing and following procedure that I tend to forget why we are doing this in the first place you know. I'm always focused on gaining my peers' respect than, I forget that the best way to do that, is to be good at my job."

Spencer nodded. He had some experience in trying hard to prove that you belong with the rest.

"You are excellent on your job, Y/N. You are where you belong and you just need to get in the field more often, remember why you do what you do and why you deserve what you have."

Y/N nodded before kissing softly his cheek. She turned around and started walking away. But before she entered the precinct, she turned around quickly, giving Spencer a simple smile.

"If you are ever in New York again, give me a call." And with that, she finished entering the building.

Morgan approached Spencer with a tiny smile as he saw him still looking at where the captain was just standing.

“Appears that the universe compensated you for that terrible date.”

“It appears that way, doesn't it?”

[foryouthegays]

also if anyone wants me to transcribe a clip pls send an ask :) or find something :)

good laugh times: 00:40:10, 00:44:44, 00:54:30, 00:55:47 00:58:37

sellout timer: 00:30:40, 01:26:00

other things: (00:10:00 biiiiiig stretch!!!) (00:39:55 that was the most ‘skeppy tried to troll me but i trolled him first’ scream ive heard in a while a;lskdjfadl) (01:23:00 TECHNOSNEEZE TECHNOSNEEZE)

summary:

Technoblade starts the stream and finds an infinity room (a room covered in white item frames and backed with glowstone or sea lanterns, making it look like there is just Void and no end) covering his house. he removes the grief and continues his intro. While waiting for Tommy to join his VC, he finds a Zombie villager, cures it, and reads donations.

Techno and Tommy go to New L’manburg and fix one of Technos propaganda posters. They find Fundy and Ranboo and tell them that if Techno gets his sword back, he’ll help them fight the wither he’s going to spawn. He spawns the wither and runs around while Ranboo and Fundy try to kill it. He doesn’t get his sword back until a few minutes into the battle. Ranboo gives him both his sword and his axe after the Wither is killed by Punz and Fundy.

Fundy gets the Wither Star, and Techno decides that it’s rightfully owned by him. Tommy and Techno start torturing Fundy into giving them the Star. After Techno gets the star back, Tommy starts trying to get his disks back. Techno tells Tommy he’s going too far, and Fundy starts crying, and eventually dies.

Tommy and Techno start to move back to their house, and Tommy gets distracted with the idea of blowing up the community house. Techno convinces him otherwise, and eventually comes clean with his intentions and goals to destroy L’manburg. He asks Tommy to join him, and Tommy accepts.

They go to the wolf army and breed the dogs. While underground, they’re almost caught, but they run away before anyone can catch them.

Techno and Tommy talk about an eventual SBI meetup, make a beacon, and then end the stream.

loud startin the stream today!!!!! :D!!!!!! 10 sec in

oh hes actually loud today this is great his voice gets so nice when hes louder

00:00:30 ‘i’ve made a severe and continuous lapse in judgement” s;ladjfkald

00:00:50 diD HE MAKE AN INFINITY ROOM OR???? IS HE JUST????? WH AT???

oH MY GOD IT IS AN INFINITY ROOM AKSDFJALSDF IS THAT IN THE ACTUAL SMP OR????

aa;lskdfjasd someone mADE AN INFINITY ROOM A;LSDKFJASDF WHO????

00:03:00 i love how even minecraft g o d s cant remember fence gate/fence crafting recipes akdjhfald

00:04:45 ‘gUYS DON’T STAY IN SCHOOL!!!’ ‘n- no you should stay in school’ yeah, sure techno ‘collage dropout’ blade

00:05:17 ‘tommy, is this your credit card? let me read the numbers aloud, tommy’ -technos impression of tommys mom

zombie villager pog!

LISTEN TO HOW HE SAYS CONVENIENT AT 5:45 AHHH I LOVE HIM

00:07:35 why does,,,why does techno say disorientating instead of disorienting??? he says disorientating and i just,,,,,techno,,,,techno thats not the American way of saying it. also i didnt capitalize american bc of Being A Country i did it bc of Emphasis a;lksdfal

he stretch!!!!!! ten mins in

techno ate breakfast pog!!!! 00:10:30

13:00 a;lksdjfal

---

STOP MAKING TECHNO GOOD AT CHESS IN GAME HES SAID SEVERAL TIMES THAT HE IS NOT I AM GOING TO SCREAM more proof: 00:14:40 also he calls the chess board ‘the map’ and im akjsdfhkljasd

00:15:40 “i don’t think that dumb people become Minecraft youtubers, I think it’s that being a Minecraft youtuber makes you dumber.”

00:15:50 ‘i was a smart child, I was doing well in school--I mean I wasn’t doing my homework or anything but I was doing well on the tests,” a;lsdkfja

“it do be doing that” -technoblade 2021

WHY DOES HE JUST RANDOMLY KNOW CHESS OPENING NAMES IM SICK OF HIM WHY IS HE LIKE THIS  I HATE IT HERE AALSDKFJASF 00:17:45 its so funny he just reads wikipedia for fun and also same

‘YOURE TALKING SOUNDS’ -tommyinnit, 19:40

00:20:05 ‘tommy, tommy, you’re speaking words, but the only universal language is sounds.’

00:23:24 “we’re going to go threaten....some certain government agents...in minecraft, since I know the FBI is listenin in on my phone right now [techno gets further from his mic and some thuds can be heard] let me just toss that over there...there we go, now they can only listen through my laptop”

00:32:17 mmmm technoyell

fundy n ranboo!!!! 00:33:50

god could u imagine knowing that technos doin a plot stream nd he joins ur call w tommy and they just???? start talking abt the canonical status of ants and new york????? such is the life of ranboo nd fundy a;lksdfjals

WITHER POG WITHER POG WITHER POG WITHER POG 00:39:20

00:39:55 how does he make that sound im crying

HE LAUGH!!!!!!

a;lkdsfjasd ranboo bullying time 00:44:00

god could u imagine being a fan of the dream smp, joining and ur surrounded by all these people uve looked up too, and then they start bulling you?? such is the life of ranboo

torture time!!! 00:46:15, its to get back the star :D

00:50:45 its lowkey terrifying how techno calls torturing fundy to tears ‘the good times’ and laughs while tommy interrogates him. i love it, but also im scared of him. still an apologist. he needs his stuff back!

also like,,,,,techno telling tommy he went too far? terrifying. if techno says you went too far, thats saying something

HE LAUGH!!!!

HE LAUGH AGAIN!!!

my favorite part of techno tommy interactions is how technoll say like, a metaphor or smthin nd tommy just,,,,,,,, ‘yeAHHH BITCH’ its so funny. a good example is 00:56:00:

techno: if you want to make an omlette, you’ve gotta break a few eggs

tommy: yeaaahhhh!! break eggs and bitch!

techno: ....what?

its so funny to me ak;dfjlasjf

and like, their rambles are COMPLETELY different. techno does most of his hopping around in his head and talks about it once he’s figured out what he should do, and tommy just says things out loud without thinking its hilarious

and like, in game, techno is a LOT more calculated than people think. when tommy tries to get techno to blow up the community house, techno has to rein him back in because ‘i’m all for violence, but we need a plan.’ and ‘how would blowing up the community house get your discs back??’ he’s a lot more organized than most of his teammates nd i love it

but like,,,sometimes techno just Says things and its great.  00:57:20 ‘the only dirt we have on dream is his dirt shack, amirite? [claps] gottem. he’s homeless!! eyyyy. lmao.’

00:58:20 is good. also skyblock is canon now.

01:06:50 SBI MEETUP SBI MEETUP

also ‘i dont know about smiling, but’ a;ldkfjadls;fjasf

i love tommy nd techno just kinda vibing

01:16:30 ‘mmmm audience retention rate....mmmm ants’ aldkfja this stream is so dumb i love it

dID TECHNO USE THEY/THEM FOR ERET AT 01:20:55 OR WAS THAT A GENERAL ‘EVERYONE ELSE’ THEY

1:23:00ish TECHNOSNEEZE

A;LSDKFJAS LIKE AN HOUR AFTER GETTING HIS SWORD BACK HE REALZIES HE HAS IT BACK HES SUCH A NERD 01:24:45

he sounds V tired rn a;lsdkfjkasdf

STREAM TOMORROW TOO??? P O G

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 12 second part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Funsies) 

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

After locking Wei Wuxian into some comically large chains, Wen Chao has him thrown into the dungeon, with an unpleasant surprise.

This Fucking Dog

Being a fan of The Untamed involves occasional second-hand embarrassment, like when they fly on their swords, or the zombies all have the same wig, or a fight sequence moves slower than everybody’s granny. It's ok because each of these things is offset by excellence in acting, story, costumes, weapons, sets, etc.

Then there's this fucking dog. 

The department of questionable practical effects really outdid themselves with this thing. Just seeing this awful creation on screen gives me so much cringe squick I can barely look at it. But for you, dear readers, I FORCED MY EYEBALLS to watch the entire dog sequence OVER AND OVER. Then I applied some brightness adjustments and looked at it EVEN MORE. 

Let's get desensitized! I’m going all in on this monstrosity.

First, this dog does not ever move its body or its feet. Its legs are totally immobile. It appears to be made of a big sawhorse with a stick for the neck. The head swings up and down and side to side. That’s it.  

“Animatronic” is too generous of a term for this thing. The animatronics at Chucky Cheese learned to play musical instruments and host birthday parties decades ago. This dog cannot play an instrument and it has to wait for Wei Wuxian to walk over to it before it can attack him. 

When it falls over after Wen Ning K.O’s it, it’s like a chair falling over. It just topples to the side, legs sticking straight out.  

(more after the cut)

Next, It has a mouth full of teeth, which opens and closes. And it has drool the texture of Astroglide Extra-Thick Gel. But...no tongue.

Seriously you guys, it literally does not have a tongue. They just sculpted a little bump at the at the bottom of its mouth, despite dogs being known for, like, lolling their tongues out of their mouths at every opportunity.

Moving along, it has dull, lifeless eyes, and its eyelids are visibly disconnected from the rest of its head, like a doll that mechanically shuts its eyes when you lay it down to sleep.

Finally, its fur looks like a fucking muppet, and it has random shiny spots all around its eyes and lips. These are probably supposed to be body fluids of some kind, but they just look like someone was careless with the cra-z-glue.

Xiao Zhan gamely tries to act opposite this ridiculous fail prop, but there is nothing remotely scary about it.  

Here is Wei Wuxian being scared. I replaced the animatronic dog with a reversed clip of my dog Pepper asking for a piece of cheese, and I think it looks more convincing this way. 

Ok, let's be done with this stupid fucking dog. Wen Ning knocks it out, Wen Chao criticizes it in the morning, and nobody ever speaks of it again. 

Wei Wuxian is so mortified to have endured this farce that when Lan Wangji asks him, much later, “why are you afraid of dogs?” he does not say “don’t you remember that time I got chewed on by a giant animatronic dog at Wen Chao’s place?” but instead pretends that this never fucking happened. 

Wen Ning to the Rescue

For contrast, the next dungeon scene is a really touching and important encounter between Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian. 

Wen Ning comes and knocks out the creature, and gives Wei Wuxian medicine. 

Wen Ning is doing this in defiance of his clan and his sister, simply because Wei Wuxian is his friend. Yes, he feels indebted, but Wen Qing saved WWX’s life once, so the tally is already even. Wen Ning is just super attached to Wei Wuxian, and vice versa; WWX calls him Wen-Xiong in this scene. 

When Wen Ning explains how to use the medicine, Wei Wuxian changes the subject to ask how WN and his sister are doing. He is bleeding, chained up, high on adrenaline and fear, and what he really wants is to hear how his friends are doing. When Wen Ning talks about Wen Qing’s troubles, Wei Wuxian wishes she would accept help, instead of always going it alone. 

Wei Wuxian thanks Wen Ning formally, and tells him no words can express his gratitude. Whether this is a literally correct translation, the gratitude both of these young men feel toward each other transcends words. It will become a driving force in both of their lives as they save each other from increasingly awful situations. 

Wen Ning tells Wei Wuxian about the burning of Cloud Recesses....the burning of the half we never visit. It would suck to damage that exquisite set, so I’m ok with that production choice, but creates some cognitive dissonance when characters get upset about the fire. 

Wei Wuxian reacts to the news of Lan Wangji’s injury by punching the concrete floor of the dungeon, which is dumb but also highly relatable. 

After Wen Ning leaves, Wei Wuxian decides to save the medicine for Lan Wangji, who might not even need it, while WWX is bleeding right now and definitely needs it. No matter how bad things are for him personally, Wei Wuxian is always thinking about ways to help the people he loves, and constantly seeing his own needs as less important than everybody else’s. 

Breakfast Time

After his night of terror and maiming, Wei Wuxian emerges as chipper as ever. Almost like he is already an expert at hiding his trauma from the people close to him. 

Lan Wangji gives him a careful look, taking in the sight of his ripped clothes and bloody neck and hands. 

Jiang Cheng is angry at Wei Wuxian for joking about his injuries, so he shoves him, potentially causing more injuries. 

Wei Wuxian laughs off the signs of torture and attempted murder and everyone goes along with it. Nobody knows what happened to him other than "dungeon" and what he looks like right now, and they’re all just like, okey dokey, I guess you’re fine.  

He’ll carefully laugh off his months in the burial mounds in the same way, later, and Jiang Cheng will accept it nearly as readily as he accepts this. But by that time Lan Wangji will see right through him.

Nie Huaisang mentions the Lan Clan in the course of discussing breakfast, and then everyone pauses awkwardly because they know that mentioning this will make Lan Wangji think about the recent attack on his home and the deaths of many of his fellow disciples. Whereas if nobody had mentioned it, he totally wouldn't think about it. That's how grief works, right?

Insult to Injury

Wen Chao decides to spend some time gloating about battles and insulting people's families, which he does with Wen Qing standing behind his eyeline so that she can warn Wei Wuxian not to let his brother go off. 

Jiang Cheng is not going to let anybody who isn't his mother insult his father like that, but in a reversal of their normal roles, Wei Wuxian restrains him and helps keep him from doing something rash.

Monster Hunting

Wen Chao makes everyone read out loud until Nie Huaisang wisely faints and gets carried off. Then he gathers everyone for a monster hunt.  It's unclear why he wants to go monster hunting but he sure does, and bringing the hostages along might make them all die, which would be a nice bonus.

The cultivators wander around en masse in a small section of forest, thoroughly covering every inch of it. This is a great way to hunt for a dead body but not so good for living prey. 

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng stand around like bitchy queens at a dance club, talking smack about Wen Chao and his girlfriend. 

Wei Wuxian brings out a salty phrase and Jiang Cheng wonders what websites he's been going to. 

Dude. Lighten up.

Leave that Boy Alone

Wei Wuxian notices Lan Wangji struggling, and now that he knows the backstory, he's determined to help. Jiang Cheng is determined to stop him.

This is, once again, the fundamental disagreement between the brothers, and it's never going to be solvable. Jiang Cheng's specific dislike of Lan Wangji may be rooted in jealousy, but his belief in not helping outsiders runs a lot deeper than that.

For Wei Wuxian, there is no such thing as having helped enough. If someone is his friend, he will never stop helping them, and he has a lot of friends, and makes new ones wherever he goes. He's always going to be giving something of himself, to the detriment of any conflicting obligations. 

Jiang Cheng tells him that Lan Wangji won't accept his help, and Wei Wuxian says that's not the point. 

What other people think, want, say, or do, is not going to have any effect on whether Wei Wuxian does what he feels is right. This is a bit of a problem where a person's right to self-determination conflicts with Wei Wuxian's need to help them, as Jiang Cheng will eventually discover.

Jiang Cheng's least effective argument is the one he relies on most often when they disagree: other people's problems are not our responsibility. He's saying this to an orphan who was eating trash and stealing scraps from dogs before Jiang Fengmian came into his life. 

Jiang Cheng doesn’t seem to realize the underlying logic of this argument. If it's wrong for Wei Wuxian to help the people he cares about, it was also wrong for Jiang Fengmian to help Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng loves Wei Wuxian and would willingly die for him, but he, like his mother, rejects the philosophy that brought them together in the first place.  

Wei Wuxian walks away from an upset and shocked Jiang Cheng to offer a piggyback ride to Lan Wangji.

...who won't accept it, but who will remember the offer forever.

Writing prompt: Thoughts of an animatronic dog

Soundtrack:  Five Nights at Freddy’s by The Living Tombstone